#so we’re actually getting some phil backstory this time huh

[solcarow]

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[tokiro07]

Undead Unluck ch.161 thoughts

[Enter the Dragon]

Tozuka, when I asked for “falling action” I didn’t mean the action of falling that we saw last week, I meant a moment to reflect on the events of the preceding arc. I really want an opportunity for Phil to interact with the group outside of the moments of tension, where we can see what kind of person he usually is and the life he usually leads. I’m sure we’ll get that sooner or later, I’m just a little sad that we’re jumping straight into the next arc

HOWEVER!!! This next arc is immediately shaping up to be a very exciting one!!! As you may have seen in the tag, folks are super excited to see the return of Shen, and to top it off, Mei is alive in this timeline!! I’m not entirely sure, but she seems to be older! She looks to be drawn about the same height and build as Fuuko, suggesting that she’s somewhere between 15 and 18 if I had to estimate. I guessed several reviews ago that Shen’s backstory likely happened in 2003 with him being about 13 so that he’d be 30 in 2020, but since his age was never established, he could feasibly be any age, probably pushing 40 if he’s around 18 in 1999. I guess he could have been born early this time, but I’m always hesitant to make that guess

The real significance to Mei being older here, though, is what it means for Shen’s backstory: SHEN DIDN’T DROP HER!!! Feng never pitted Shen and Mei against each other, he never pushed Mei over the cliff, and Shen never got Mei killed with Untruth! Not to say that they won’t end up in that scenario during this arc, but the two of them got to actually grow up together, and it’s all thanks to Fuuko!

Fuuko becoming the object of Feng’s obsession has led to him completely changing his interactions with Shen, though to what extent we can only guess for now. We know he still plans to kill Shen to prove to Fuuko that he’s stronger, but he still needs to raise him to become strong enough that doing so holds meaning. I can’t imagine that they’re on necessarily better terms, but at least murderous revenge isn’t on the table this time

Mei says that Shen needs to be saved, presumably from himself if I had to guess. I figure he’s gotten obsessed with being the strongest for some other reason than avenging Mei this time, and he’s pushing himself to a dangerous degree. Maybe it has something to do with Mui, this time? She’s almost definitely going to be coming into play during this arc (if for no other reason than convenience) so having her be a key player in Shen’s new backstory would be a helpful way to reintroduce her to the current loop

Fuuko’s fight with Mei also served as a great appetizer for this upcoming tournament arc, with Fuuko showing off a new Unluck technique! Using her long hair, she wraps it around her arms as bracers while also forming blades that should look familiar to everyone! They’re almost identical to Andy’s Dead Blades, further demonstrating not only Fuuko’s growth, but Andy’s continued influence on her! Makes me excited to see how Undead has evolved over the last four billion years, likely with some inspiration from Andy’s desire to see Fuuko

Jumping forward to the tournament, LOOK AT THOSE OUTFITS!!! Fuuko and Yusai really pull off those uniforms, and for some reason, I’m really liking how Billy looks. Maybe it’s wearing the jacket as a cape, maybe it’s that big ol’ smile, or maybe it’s because I’ve always had a bit of a thing for that style of pants, but that’s a good lookin’ man right there

Feng’s expression when he sees Fuuko is also pretty fun. I know it’s a self-indulgent read, but there’s...a weird sense of romanticism to anyone being that excited to see another person. I guess this is the feeling people get with hateships? Or yanderes? ...Huh, Fuuko pairs really easily with people whose appearances belie their ages, doesn’t she? Andy, Gina, Feng...wonder what’s gonna happen with Ruin...

As for how this arc is going to go, I’m hoping we get to have a little bit of time with Yusai specifically, as I feel like we haven’t gotten nearly enough development for her. Honestly, since she was the elderly master type like Feng previously, I can see her having a good rapport with Feng

Before I finish up, I want to just touch on the little details real quick, as I am wont to do

I’m glad to see that even without his sense of taste (I assume), Phil is able to eat thanks to Entruster. Wasn’t as much of a downside as it was presented to be, I guess!

Sean closing his eyes when he smiles turned him invisible. It’s always fun to see Tozuka pay attention to that, I’d probably end up forgetting half the time if it were me

Continuing Tozuka’s love of Gundam, the announcer for the tournament is a pastiche of the announcer from G Gundam, right down to the eyepatch and mustache

...Where did Gina get a smartphone in 1999?

While I’ve obviously been loving every arc in this loop (and every arc prior), I think this might be the most excited that the first chapter of an arc has gotten me for what’s to come since chapter 1! I anticipate it won’t actually be a tournament arc, but Negator vs. Negator is always the most fun match-up type for me personally, so any battles we get here are sure to be great! See y’all next week!

[thespoonisvictory]

Okay, you don't know how obsessed I am with pre-canon stuff. Please share things.

ask and you shall receive!

Here is my lore document dubbed "The fuck it everything is canon au"

My version of canon: no sbi family canon! Even if it is best, I wanted to do elaborate backstories, and they are all Like brothers, with phil being Like a dad

Pre SMP Earth: Wilbur: he starts on this universe’s version of smplive. He meets schlatt and they become close friends. They start up business ventures together, only for it to go horribly wrong, with the server collapsing in on itself over time. Lost, he decides to try out tournament competition in the form of Minecraft Monday (I’d give it an actual name lmao), aka melees, pvp, etc. Think hunger games except voluntary and you don’t actually die.

Techno: becoming famous as a competitor on Hypixel! This is where he begins to take on the blood god persona, and develop a reputation for being a strong pvper. Looking for what to do with this, he joins, you guessed it: MCM

Phil: after holding a record for longest amount of time survived in a hard core world, he dies, thrusting his name up into fame in pvp circles. Sure enough, he gets invited to participate in MCM.

Tommy: still a kid lmao, but grows up as techno’s little brother in hypixel, idolizing him even as he grows more detached

Tournament Era: As fate would have it, crowd favorite Wilbur Soot (he’s not good at competing but charismatic and friendly) gets teamed with top competitor Technoblade (loved, but also feared and not treated kindly by some of his competitors)! No one thinks they’re going to hit it off, but even though they don’t win, they get on like a house on fire.

Shortly after, Techno and Phil get teamed, and then Phil and Wilbur, and there’s a moment of realization of “huh, we’re kind of a power trio, and all good friends now.” they mesh together unbelievably well as competitors, but also as genuine friends. Tommy is like the little brother hanging out with the cool older kids.

MCM essentially ends somehow, but while wilbur goes off to meet the sky gods and basically get traumatized in pursuit of knowledge and connections, phil and techno decide to take over a world: SMP earth

SMP Earth: for a while, phil and techno rule by themselves over smp earth, calling themselves the Antarctic Empire (their home base), but they quickly realize they need like… a pr person, because they’re good at the taking over but not the keeping people happy part.

Enter Wilbur. They invite him and he’s like lmao what, but accepts the job. He instantly starts making negotiations with other worlds, weaseling his way into the techno phil duo, and generally improving the now infamous rep they have. Og sbi is at its strongest here, and they truly do good work together

Wilbur’s work includes meeting Niki and having her as a liaison with Chelor, her home server (aka the loh fic I wrote), making connections just in general, and so, so much hearing out citizen’s complaints.

He also starts getting a lot closer with techno’s brother tommy, who he sees a lot of himself in, and tommy slowly starts to favor wilbur because he like, actually pays attention to him. Tommy starts business bay in some capacity, but also spends a lot of time shadowing wilbur and learning from him.

Things are going well mostly, but because of an elaborate conflict I’ve started writing out, wilbur gets into an elaborate argument with phil and techno about Political Things, and the Empire splits up for plot reasons I won't disclose in case I ever actually write it. While they try to pretend like this won’t affect their personal relationship, it clearly does and they all know it

This starts not only wilbur’s Words over Weapons policy, but Techno’s deep seated distrust of government and the belief it makes people and relationships worse, along with Phil siding with Techno over Wilbur (Tommy supports Wilbur, but quietly™)

What could’ve been one of the powerhouses of the universe with sbi’s skills crumbles due to ideological differences and personal issues, rip. Once again, they try to pretend like everything is fine, but in the next tournament they compete in together (this universe’s mcc 7 and mcc has been going on in the background whoops), it’s another big blow up fight that causes Wilbur to angrily leave over their loss, fracturing them fully

Hot off the anger of this disaster, Wilbur fucks off to the dream smp , where he meets up with Tommy, and the dsmp plot as we know it kickstarts.

[bruhhhh-huhhhhh]

you've enabled me and i simply must send in another request-

can i get some headcannons for quackity, foolish, eret, technoblade and slimecicle (it's obvious i have favorite characters-) with a Reader who likes to protect them in like a sort of technoblade to philza fashion? like they make sure they're as safe and as happy as they possibly can be and protect them from any danger no matter how small (or large). like character is in an argument/fight that doesn't involve Reader at all and isn't really their buisness. yeah, no Reader is about to make it their buisness-

alternatively, a small scenario:

enemy of quackity/foolish/eret/technoblade/philza: i have an army

quackity/foolish/eret/technoblade/philza: i have a hulk

reader, entering in a badass fashion: i'm about to end their entire career

yours truly,

gremlin anon

Oh god I love this idea so much!

Quackity

With how many enemies this man has, he needs you.

If he’s arguing with someone like Wilbur, your gonna have to step in. Wil and Alex will get into a fist fight over Las Nevadas, and your the only one who can stop them.

“The hells going on over here?” You ask as you see Wilbur and Alex starting to square up to fight. Alex immediately puts his fists down, and Will takes this as his chance to strike. You notice that Wilburs about to hit Alex, who you consider a little brother, and immediately put you hand out and catch Wilburs fist. “You know, maybe hitting him isn’t the best idea. Not with me right here anyways.” And then, with Wilbur caught off guard, you punch him straight in the nose. He stumbles backwards, curses you and Alex, and then walks off with his bloody nose and lost pride. “The hell was all that about anyways?” You ask as you turn to Quackity, rubbing your knuckles. “He wanted citizenship to Las Nevadas, I told him he had to gamble his last life for it. If he won, he get it. If he lost, I get his last canon life and Ghostbur comes back.” Quackity explained. “Let’s just get home, that dude has one sturdy ass nose so now my knuckles are bruised.”

Slimecicle

This man needs you. He’s so oblivious that he can’t tell when someone’s gonna try something on him.

You’ve saved him more times than you can count. And every time, you tell him to be a bit more careful. He asks why, he was just having a conversation with Tommy, not knowing Tommy was gonna scam the shit outa him and run him into the dirt after he was done.

“All I need from you is your diamonds and free range of Las Nevadas. Can you do that for me boss man?” You heard Tommy ask. “Yeah!” “No, no he can’t.” “Oh! Y/n from the sky! My friend! How are you?” You ignored Charlie. “Tommy, why are you trying to scam him again after last time? You know I don’t stay far away. Do you want me to knock you out again and send you back to Phil?” “….no” “Good! Now SCRAM” You said, and Tommy did just that. He started to run away, tripping over his own feet a couple times. “Charlie, what did I tell you about talking to Tommy?” “Uhhhh” “I said to be more careful.” “Yep! I knew that!” You sighed. You really have to find a way to get through to him that Tommy scams him more than he helps him. “What was that even about?” You asked, wanting a bit of backstory. “Tommy was gonna give me his slowest horse in exchange for all of my diamonds and free range of Las Nevadas!” Charlie said, clearly excited thinking about it.

Eret

After the incident with L’manberg and his betrayal, he’s needed you more than ever. Tommy, tubbo, and Wilbur have been trying to attack him when he leaves his castle.

Luckily for him, you always go with him, wether he knows it or not. Everytime someone tries to attack you, and sometimes dream and sapnap, fight back for eret.

It was a lovely day on the server. You and Eret decided to go on a walk, when Tommy and Tubbo came out with their swords out. Then, from behind them, Wilbur comes walking out with his hands in his pockets. “Oh eret, your going to regret the day you betrayed us. Your out numbered here! And your little protector doesn’t have their sword, fantastic! I’ll give you 5 seconds to surren-“ “Yea, that’s not gonna happen Wil.” You know that voice… is that? Your suspicions were confirmed when Dream and Sapnap jumped down from the trees about the 5 of you. “We told you not to try and hurt them, but you can’t ever seem to listen now can you? I told you time and time again, you can’t touch my S/O, wether their protecting Eret or not.” Sapnap says. He throws you your favorite sword, and you say “thanks babe. Now let’s kick some L’manberg ass!” Sapnap fights tubbo, Dream fights Tommy, and you take Wilbur. You yell for eret to step back, and try and get to the castle. He runs the way you guys came, and you turn your attention to Wilbur. He has his armor on and his sword is out. “I guess you wanna do this the hard way Y/n. I told you, you could have joined L’manberg. You would have been safe, but no. You chose sapnap. WE COULD HAVE BEEN RULERS! WE WOULD HAVE HAD OUR WHOLE COUNTRY TO RULE!” He screams at you. “Yea well, being a leader doesn’t suit me, thanks though.” You wink at him, and then lift your sword to his arm. He was so busy monologging that he didn’t see your sword coming towards his arm, and you cut him deep. The thick, red liquid that we know as blood spills out of his arm, and he stumbled back. Tommy and tubbo had already started to grab him to run as you put down your sword. “Buh bye Wilbur!” You yelled at his as he ran off with his two lackeys. You turn back to sapnap and Dream, but they’re both gone. “Huh. Guess they went back home.” Now, you had to get back to Eret.

Foolish

He doesn’t really need as much protection around the server, but when he does your there.

You’ve had to fight people, but most of the time you just have to intimidate people into leaving him alone

Technoblade

This man has so many enemies that you’re in fights constantly.

The incident in the pit didn’t happen because of you. You stopped it right before it happened.

“WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL DO YOU TWO THINK YOUR DOING.” You screamed at Techno and Tommy, who were in a giant pit that Wilbur seemingly made. You jumped in and separated the two boys, all while wil was saying “oh come on Y/N! It was just getting to the good part! If only you were at the bathroom for 5 more minutes….” “Wilbur Soot! You should not be allowing this. Technoblade, I’ll telling Philza about this. Tommy, you should have know better than to accept this.” You said, going around to everyone and telling them off. “Sorry y/n” everyone said in unison. “Yea, you better be. For fucks sake I can’t go to the damn bathroom for 10 minutes without a fight breaking out. Let’s go techno, we have things to do.” “Heh? I wanna stay and talk to Wil-“ “Well, to bad. We’re going home.” You grab Techno and dragged him off to his house.

That was a fun one to write! I hope you enjoyed gremlin!! And I got no clue how to write for foolish, so sorry about that :(

[onceandalwaysenglishmajor]

We could totally be the Avengers

@espritneo, you said you’d be down for a snippet of the superhero/ alien fae story, so I decided to share this. Thoughts welcome! (Not really any plot relevant bits, but it does a good job introducing the characters.)

“Dude, we’re totally the Avengers!” Chad said excitedly. Lucy rolled her eyes.

           “No, hear me out,” Chad started in his explanation voice. Lucy sighed loudly, hoping to discourage Chad, but it didn’t do any good.

           “First, you have myself and Allen. Genius level intellect. And that’s being modest. The funding is somewhat lacking for actually being Ironman or Batman, though we hit Spiderman’s level of creativity quite nicely, though without the power-providing radioactive spider bite that gave Peter Parker his motivation…But overall we do ok. Especially without the comic book catalysts. Those tend to be pretty nasty, tragic backstories to provide motivation and depth and all that.” Chad drew in a deep breath before continuing. Lucy fixed Chad with a pained look, hoping to guilt him into stopping. Chad smiled at her cheekily, proceeding with his explanation full tilt.

           “Then there’s you, Lucy.” The glint in Lucy’s eyes told him that he was treading on dangerous ground, but that was half of the thrill. “You’re a very intelligent girl, though not on the same level as Allen and me, obviously…”

           “Obviously?” Lucy said dangerously.

           “Don’t be snippy about it. It’s a fact, nobody’s judging, we all love you just as much,” Chad replied saucily. “And you’ve got that whole super secret spy thing going on. I’m pretty sure you could kill me and not break a sweat. I greatly respect that, and it scares me a fair bit.”

           “You can’t prove anything,” Lucy said calmly. Chad nodded, giving her the point.

           “That’s very true. It just adds to the level of your mysteriousness. Very good for a superhero. Unknown backstories are intriguing. And unlike Allen and myself, you have actual talents, we just make cool stuff to compensate for the lack.”

           “Are you going to spend this whole meal monolouging?” Lucy asked.

           “Yes,” answered Chad. “Just listen and eat your spaghetti.” He shoveled in a couple quick bites for emphasis. “Now, moving on the more exotic members of our Avengers team. Jeb. As an actual alien, I’ll address his position on our team first.”

           “You do realize we just live together, that we’re not an actual crime or evil fighting team?” Lucy asked acidly. Chad ignored her.

           “Jeb is a real life alien. Real. Life. Alien. Like Thor! Jeb is totally our Thor! Position of authority on an alien planet, super buff, probably has all kinds of cool skills we don’t even know about yet, but will be slowly revealed as the plot advances!

           “Not in a comic book,” Lucy reminded him. “or a movie. There is no ‘plot’. Just our average lives…”

           “Lucy, darling, have you not been listening? Our lives are totally not average, we are on our way to being Avengers! We’re just one national disaster and passing our midterm exams away from our destiny!”

           “Have you even started studying?” Lucy asked.

           “Do I need to study?” Chad retorted. “Don’t change the subject. Where was I? Oh yes, Jeb and the crazy powers he may or may not possess! Do you have any crazy powers you haven’t told us about yet, Jeb?” The broad-shouldered brunette just shrugged. Chad seemed to accept this as a reasonable response and continued with his assessment of how they were totally the Avengers.

           “Then we have Vinn. You, dear Vinn, are our reformed villain.”

           “I’m the villain?” Vinn asked, disgruntled.

           “You did help an alien race try to invade the planet,” Allen reminded him gently. Vinn hung his head and pushed his spaghetti around with his fork. Jeb clapped a reassuring hand on the younger man’s shoulder. Frankie shot Chad a dirty look.

           “Hey!” Chad protested. “I said reformed! Vinn, buddy, you’re part of our team. You and I kind of butt heads, but hey, that’s family. That’s just how it works. And, you’re half alien, which is real cool, have you reconsidered giving me that blood sample yet? No? Fine… Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is, you actually have a power. Like, a legit power! You can shape shift! Do you even know how cool that is? Are you absolutely sure about the blood? Frankie, don’t look at me like that. It was worth a shot. Could you imagine how cool it would be if I could figure out how to shape shift?”

           “The world might very well end,” Lucy said drily.

           “It would not!” Chad protested. Then he thought about it for a moment. “Well, you might have a little bit of a point. I’m much better with tech, anyway.”

           “So you’ve described us,” Lucy said. “Big whoop. Even if we’re all a little bit… special, if you will, that doesn’t make us the Avengers.”

           “Luce, you’re missing the point. I’m totally Tony Stark, but without the money and arrogance.” Lucy made a sound of disbelief, which Chad pointedly ignored.

           “Allen is Bruce Banner. Mild-mannered, super sweet, but man, do not get on his bad side. It won’t end well for you. Lucy, my dearest, you are the Black Widow herself, Natasha Romanoff. You can argue and deny all you want, but you’ll never convince me that you’re not some kind of super spy. So don’t interrupt. We’ve already established that Jeb is Thor. That’s an easy one. I suppose that would make Vinn our Loki, but with a redemption arc. Vinn, don’t get all depressed again, do you know how much of a fan favorite Loki is? Especially with the ladies…” Chad informed Vinn with a cheeky wink. Vinn stared at Chad with his mouth slightly open. Chad viewed this as an invitation to break down the appeal of Loki to the ladies.

           “There has to be a reason all these girls are into Loki, right? So here’s what I think. First of all, he’s got that bad boy appeal. Girls love a bad boy. Usually because they think they can change him. Apparently chicks dig that. ‘He’s damaged, but I can fix him’ type of thing. I think that’s mostly it. That and being attractive. Did I hit it, ladies?” He looked back and forth between Frankie and Lucy, who were both just staring at him. Chad shrugged and returned his attention to Vinn, who was also staring at him somewhat blankly.

           “Not that you need fixing, or anything, Vinn, but, there are a lot worse things in life than being compared to Marvel’s most attractive villain.”

           “Then who would I be?” Frankie asked. “Since I’m not super smart, or a spy, if that’s true, or an alien, or a sexy ex-villain… Where does that leave me?”

           “Do I have to answer the question, or can I jump on the fact that you pretty much just called Vinn sexy?” Chad asked.

           “What, what, what!” Frankie spluttered, her face turning bright red. “I did no such thing! I was just going with your character explanations!”

           “Mmm, whatever you want to believe, Frankie-doll. But I’ll leave it alone for the moment in favor of addressing your question. You can be our Phil Coulson! Adored by Avengers and fandom alike!”

           “So I’m going to die a horrible, tragic death?” Frankie asked, more to needle Chad than anything else.

           “Perhaps, but the fandom will bring you back by the sheer power of their denial. And then you can have your own spin off tv show!”

Allen tapped Chad on the shoulder.

           “Chad, I think you’ve traumatized them with your opinion enough for one night, don’t you? And don’t we have a time-sensitive project going on down in the lab? Let’s go check on that and let everyone finish their supper in peace, ok?” Allen said.

           “Oh! Right! I almost forgot! What would I do without you keeping me on track?” Chad asked, obviously not offended by the implication he was overwhelming his roommates.

           “Blow things up more often,” Allen supplied helpfully. The rest of the table winced, very aware of the truth of that statement. Chad caused explosions on an almost weekly basis even with Allen to keep him in check.

           “Probably true,” Chad agreed cheerfully, taking his plate with him as he disappeared into the basement. Allen stood up to follow him.

           “Thank you all for your patience,” he said to everyone in general. “Chad does care for you all very much,” Allen explained. “This is how he expresses it, in case you were wondering.” With that, he followed Chad to the basement, hopefully to prevent any explosions. The slightly shell-shocked group at the table sat in silence for several minutes.

           “That really just happened,” Lucy said slowly. “Like, it really happened. Are we sure his IQ is as high as he says it is?”

           “I’m going to have to go with yes,” Vinn said slowly. “Whatever else that was, it was very well thought out. You have to give him that.”

           “Yeah,” Frankie agreed, “You’re not wrong…”

           “He’s so set on this superhero thing,” Lucy sighed.

           “And you’re so against it?” Vinn asked.

           “Not on principle,” Lucy admitted. “I just like playing devil’s advocate to pretty much anything Chad suggests. He needs someone to keep him humble, or that ego of his is going to explode.”

           “So… you do think we could be the Avengers?” Jeb asked.

           “I didn’t say that,” Lucy corrected quickly. “All my arguments are still valid. I just don’t disagree with it quite as much as I let Chad think I do. Someone has to keep that boy in line.”

           “Isn’t that Allen’s job?” Vinn asked. Frankie snorted.

           “Ish. You should have seen the two of them before the rest of you moved in. At least Chad is straight forward. Allen is devious. He scares me more than Chad, honestly. Chad, I always know where he’s coming from. I don’t always understand it, but his very nature is brutally honest. Allen is… sneaky. I never quite know what his angle is, what he wants to get out of a situation. Not that Allen’s not a good kid,” Frankie finished lamely. “You guys know what I’m trying to say?” she asked. Lucy rubbed her shoulder gently.

           “We know what you mean, sweetie,” Lucy reassured her. “We know how much you care for all of us. You wouldn’t tolerate this level of crazy in your house if you didn’t.” She paused. “Huh. Maybe you are our Phil Coulson. Moral support, anchor, and borderline babysitter all in one.”

[phantasyprone]

Gamingmass and Lights: Restlessness Chapter 13

Hey! I had a few hours of procrastinating and wrote another chapter of my phanfic, ‘Restlessness’. This chapter is set at the beginning of December 2016. Feel free to give it a read. Either start from the beginning or from Chapter 11 if you want to skip the angst. I’ll post this chapter separately here under the cut, also, if you want to read the full fic then under the cut I’ll explain the backstory to this chapter so don’t read if you don’t want the previous chapters to be spoiled by the spoilers I’ll post :)

Here’s the full fic if you wanna check it out :)

(*author’s note: backstory is, dnp made a video telling people about their relationship but decided against posting it. In the previous chapter they went and viewed a house. That’s basically what you need to know before this, enjoy!)

They hadn’t even filmed the video yet but Phil was already worn out. Sprawled on the sofa in the living room, breathing out heavily, and arms aching from carrying the lights, Phil chastised himself for coming up with the ‘gamingmass’ idea. In many ways it was fun and it was a challenge, but god it was hard work.

 Phil had come up with the idea at the end of November. Still highly aware that he needed some more purpose in life, he had decided that challenging them both to upload on the gaming channel would be a good idea. The months after the tour where they had both crashed out, tired and exhausted, cooped up in the confines of their flat had not gone well. Uploading daily had seemed like a great idea at first, but the reality of dragging around lights and cameras every day had slightly dampened his spirits. The mornings were dark, the days were cold, and the evenings came around earlier each day.

 He heard Dan struggle down the stairs with the camera, swearing loudly as each stamp hit each step. He appeared in the room with the lumbersome camera and tripod, set it down a bit too heavily on the wooden floor, and then collapsed next to Phil.

‘This was such a bad idea,’ he moaned through laboured breaths.

‘And we haven’t even started dancing,’ Phil responded despondently. Phil looked over at Dan who wearing a weird grey parachute-like jumper (which Phil secretly hated). ‘It doesn’t help that you’ve weighed yourself down even more wearing that. You do realise we’re about to dance,’ Phil said overlaying a mocking tone to his voice.

Dan scoffed and replied equally as mockingly, ‘You just don’t know great fashion when you see it.’ Dan glanced sideways at Phil and grinned.

 Phil leant up slightly on the sofa, shuffled towards Dan and lifted his arm up. Dan moved to lean on Phil who then settled his arm back down over Dan.

‘Maybe we should buy some extra lights and stuff,’ Dan wondered out loud.

Phil thought for a moment before replying, ‘But then we’d have lights all over the house. I don’t know if I could handle having them everywhere… I mean, we’ve still got to actually live here.’

Dan sighed and continued to stare out in front of him. ‘But not for much longer potentially? Have you heard back from the estate agents?’

‘No, not yet. I called them yesterday and the lady said they were still giving viewings… she said that if we wanted it we’d have to put in an offer very soon.’

Dan sighed again, then rolled his body further into Phil’s side, nuzzling his head into the black cotton of Phil’s jacket. ‘Eerghhhh. I dunno, Phil… did you talk to you mum about it yesterday?’

‘Yeh. She said that we should take time to really look around for places… which makes sense.’

‘Yeh,’ Dan said. He had loved the house, but Dan suspected that the main reason he loved it was just the excitement of buying a place together. It had been lovely, but Dan now thought that the excitement of really talking about that stuff and getting a glimpse of their future together was the best part of the house viewing, rather than the house itself.

‘Maybe we should hold it off for a bit? I mean, we’re kind of busy with all these videos right now,’ Phil said hesitantly.

‘Yeh, and whose great idea was that,’ Dan responded haughtily, although Phil could hear the smile in his voice.

‘Hey! You’re finding this kind of fun really,’ Phil quickly shot back.

‘Eergh, yeh. I suppose. But after this dance game and then carrying all the stuff back up the stairs I bet you’ll think differently.’

‘Dan. It’ll be fine.’ Phil laughed. After a pause he said, ‘Right. Well we should probably start filming this video. Unless you’re planning on doing some sky-diving right now?’

Dan twisted round to glare at Phil who was biting back a grin. ‘Oi! Is that a dig at my jumper?’

‘No.’ Phil said through pursed lips as he taunted Dan by pointedly looking up and down the badly draped garment he was wearing.

Dan pouted and stood up, grabbed a nearby sofa cushion and playfully chucked it at Phil who failed at batting it away in time. ‘Right. Come on then. You ready to get your ass kicked?’

‘Try me, mate!’ Phil teased, getting up off the sofa and proceeding to dab.

Dan stepped towards Phil, pointed his finger in his face and light-heartedly warned him, ‘If you dare do that in the video, I will end you.’

Phil giggled as Dan glared at him, before turning around to set up the camera.

 *     *        *

 When they had finished filming the video, Dan turned off the camera, and they both decided to watch a few episodes of Planet Earth before struggling to put all the lights back upstairs in the gaming room.

 After heaving the equipment back over the house, they both went to the kitchen to cook some food. Dan found some pasta, some Quorn mince-meat, and some pasta sauce and started to go about preparing dinner.

 It was dark outside. The yellowy-haze of the city night sprawled over the city outside the window. The low hum of traffic persisted outside, intermittently shaken by the loud woosh of a bus passing. Phil leaned against the fridge, staring at Dan’s hands which gently placed the pasta in a saucepan and then opening the Quorn package. Phil had always found Dan’s hands mesmerising. He wasn’t sure if this was because he found his own movements so clumsy, or whether he associated Dan’s hands with the sound of him playing piano whilst Phil worked in another room. Phil always loved hearing Dan learning pieces on the piano whilst Phil worked in silence from another room in the house. He would normally stop working and tune into the melody which would float through the hallway and rooms. The music always sounded beautiful no matter how imperfect Dan’s musical abilities were. The out of tune piano keys would create a sound that was wonderful simply because it reminded Phil that Dan was in another room, that his presence was everywhere, that even though they were rooms apart the space around Phil was still full with Dan’s presence.

 Phil’s mind drifted from memories of Dan playing the piano to the other things Phil remembered about the way Dan’s hands moved. How they explored his body when they first started seeing each other, how over time his grasps became more fervent, how sometimes they traced over his skin with such intimate knowledge that it might as well be Dan’s own skin, how his fingers would delicately move in circles over Phil’s shoulder when they were watching tv…

‘Am I doing something wrong?’ Dan said, interrupting Phil’s thoughts.

Phil now looked at Dan who had stopped preparing the dinner and was now staring across at Phil.

‘Huh?’ Phil relied, still half consumed by his own interior thoughts.

‘You’re staring at me like I’m preparing it wrong?’ Dan replied.

‘What?’ Phil said, blinking a few times in the hope that would refocus his attention to the present.

‘THE FOOD, PHIL. Am I doing something the wrong way or are you literally just staring at me for no reason?’ Dan said more insistently, glancing between Phil and the ingredients he had placed in the frying pan, still trying to work out if he’d missed a step in the preparation.

Phil finally realised what Dan was saying and chuckled. ‘Oh. No… I’m just staring at you,’ Phil softly replied with a smile.

Dan huffed, and returned his eyes to the frying pan, and picked up a wooden spoon to stir the food around. Though he sounded exasperated, Phil could see him smiling to himself.

‘So…’ Phil said, ‘I was looking through my video files and found that video we made.’

‘Which one?’ Dan responded absentmindedly.

Phil paused for a while before he continued. ‘The one where we were going to tell people… about us.’

‘Mmmhmmm… OK,’ Dan replied, not very sure of what else to say.

Phil readjusted how he was leaning, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. ‘It was… I dunno… weird watching it… I couldn’t really… connect with how I felt then.’

Dan looked over at Phil for a moment before returning his eyes to the frying pan. ‘You were in a different headspace then. It’s understandable. Maybe you should just delete it if you don’t want to come across it again?’ Dan said, looking up again and smiling at Phil.

‘Yeh… But, maybe we need to think about that stuff again… if we’re going to move to another place?’ Phil continued hesitantly.

‘What, like, make another video?’ Dan said, frowning slightly.

‘No. No,’ Phil responded quickly. ‘I mean… will we need to address that stuff properly? And I still feel as though I need to get out of this house more… but, I dunno…’ Phil’s words trailed off as he realised he didn’t really know what the point was that he was trying to get at.

Dan gave the Quorn a final stir before turning the hob on low, then turned to face Phil.

‘I know what you’re saying. To be honest, ever since we had all those discussions last month and everything that happened, I’ve been thinking about it too. And not just because of the house. Like… I also want to go out more and do more and I know that the more we’re seen essentially going on dates that our relationship will be more… visible. But we don’t have to make some grand announcement. We don’t have to treat this in the same way that we do our YouTube or radio project. We’re not a project. Our life isn’t our YouTube channels, and we don’t have to make specific statements about it. We could just… I dunno… become more relaxed and just give less of a shit about editing out stuff from videos. And if we’re being honest, that’s kinda been the case with the recent gamingmass videos. Why don’t we just start to not give a fuck as much anymore?’

Phil looked down at the tiled kitchen floor in contemplation before saying, ‘And you’d be OK with that?’

Dan wiped his hands briefly on his black jeans and stepped towards Phil, placing a hand on Phil’s hip as he moved his face closer to him. Dan said softly, ‘Yes. I’m so completely fine with that. But… are you OK with that, Phil?’

Phil lifted his eyes from the ground to look at Dan, their faces close together. Phil exhaled slowly as the warmth of Dan swum around him. He knew what Dan was saying. It was himself who had the crisis about this a couple of months ago. It was him who felt as though he needed to make a clear step forward about this. It was him who had kept such a clear and defined line between his YouTube persona and who he really is. Dan had shared more of his personal thoughts online over the past few years than he had. Dan had been changing his YouTube persona more, and Phil had been far stricter with himself about what he did and didn’t say. In many respects Phil loved how separate AmazingPhil and himself were. But ever since they returned from tour the clear delineation was becoming more… suffocating… but perhaps that was the wrong word. It had always been less worrying to have such clear definitions between his true self and the person he was online, but this was becoming more and more complicated as he got older. When he was younger and Dan and him hadn’t been together for so long the rules he had in place to protect his privacy never really infringed upon his personal life. But now, the things keeping his personal life safe and secluded were the things harming it. He wanted to go on holiday just him and Dan and really not care about hiding it so intensely. He wanted to go on dinner dates and movie dates with Dan and not care if anyone saw. He wanted to do things and get out the flat and move house without caring what people will read into it. But for a while now he hadn’t felt as though he could do any of those things in case it broke down the walls that guarded his personal life from his audience. The walls of the fortress had been built so high that he could no longer properly see the sky.

Phil let all the thoughts settle in his mind as he gazed into Dan’s sultry brown eyes which looked like expensive swirling whisky in a crystal tumbler. ‘And you think we could just do that, just be more relaxed about it all without really saying anything?’ Phil said hesitantly.

Dan kissed him softly and replied. ‘It doesn’t always have to be all or nothing. Colours or black. Light or dark.’

Phil smiled and said sarcastically, ‘Says you.’

Dan laughed softly and moved back over to the oven and started to mix the Quorn in the pan once again before saying, ‘Well… maybe I was wrong.’

Phil observed Dan, taking in his smile and his un-straightened hair, his light grey jumper which Phil still hated, his soft expression which counteracted the black of his jeans. Phil moved towards Dan, stood behind him and placed a kiss on his neck. Dan tilted his head as Phil’s arms moved to hug him around his waist. They stood like that for a few minutes, Phil resting his head on Dan’s shoulder, Dan continuing to move the food around the pan, both of them in peaceful silence. Phil had stopped thinking about everything, he knew Dan was right and it would be good to start breaking down a few of the walls to let some light in. The only thing which seemed right to say in that moment was, after a calm sigh, to softly declare, ‘I love you.’

(I hope you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to check out the full fic here)