#so we are actually about to like. genuinely see people fucking die in huge numbers under this new administration

[weabooweedwitch]

me: ok so I've only heard bits and pieces about how crazy RFK Jr is but he didn't get much attention while he was a presidential candidate because no one expected him to win. but, now he's nominated for the department of health and human services secretary so, maybe I should look up his beliefs

me after spending an hour reading about how he believes aids is caused by gay drug use, he thinks adderall and anti depression meds are just as bad as opiates, has advocated as recently as July that people taking medications for depression, ADHD, and other mental illnesses just need to be sent to "wellness farms" because their issues are "food related" and that at the labor camp farm they can be "de-toxed and re-parented", claimed during a 2012 divorce that he's had both severe mercury poisoning and an actual brain parasite that damaged his cognitive functions so badly that he claimed he should owe less alimony because it was severe enough that it affected his income, and upon being questioned on accusations of being a rapist he replied that "everyone has skeletons in their closet" and that "if his skeletons could vote he would be elected king of the world":

[dovesndecay]

Hey! I saw your post on diet culture and fast food and wanted to know what you mean about "diet culture would rather us starve than admit fast food is an accessible food resource"? Could you elaborate? (sorry for the paraphrase, I'm on mobile.) Thanks!

So, I'm disabled in a number of ways. I struggle really hard with executive function, appetite, sensory issues, and pain/fatigue/brainfog that makes deciding on food, and then following the process of making that food very difficult on a good day.

I've always had food issues -- I've snuck whole mouthfuls of food I could not physically make myself eat into the bathroom to spit it out in the toilet because I'd been told I had to eat it. I've puked from the texture of food. And I've gone hungry because food that was prepared is food I could not eat, for a number of reasons.

I'm also really fucking poor. I cannot work a regular job anymore. Groceries have actively skyrocketed to the point where our household is spending less than HALF of what we should be for the number of people. The difference between buying a bunch of groceries that we may or may not eat before they expire or our tastes for them die and simply purchasing a meal from a fast food joint is literally just the cost of labor -- saving us from expending spoons on deciding, buying ingredients, preparing, cooking, and then eating that food, which I will again stress that we might not actually eat.

There's only so many times you can have Walmart brand chicken nuggets before you physically cannot choke it down again.

Diet culture has a huge focus on eating the "right" kind of foods as well as this weird "self-sufficiency" fetish for cooking that can be fine but has a bad habit of edging into ableism. If you physically cannot cook on a regular basis, for any reason, and you have a lot of fast food meals, you get judged a lot for it. It's labeled "unhealthy" and "lazy". I am often told that I just "haven't found the right recipes" or "cooking hacks". No, man, I'm just fucking disabled.

Personally, I'd label starving as more unhealthy than eating fast food, but people don't like hearing that you aren't willing to swallow whatever gruel society thinks people in poverty deserve to have.

For me, fast food is predictable, safe, filling, often less expensive, convenient, spoons-saving, and it means I will eat. I also just genuinely think a lot of fast food tastes good. Sure, it's not fresh veggies and fruits, but I'm not getting those anyway. When I buy groceries, it's the cheapest items possible which means a lot of frozen foods, packaged pastas, and cereals.

And this isn't even looking at food deserts where grocery stores are few and far between, but fast food chains are everywhere. Even my Louisiana hometown, boasting a population of 10,659 people as of 2020, has a Burger King, McDonald's, Hardee's, Wendy's, Taco Bell, Popeyes, and numerous pizza delivery places. Y'know what closed down though? The Piggly Wiggly, one of the more affordable grocery stores -- my grandmother actually worked there during my childhood -- and I don't think the Winn-Dixie is even open there anymore either. So all they've got is a Walmart.

Fast food is an accessible food resource, and diet culture would rather see us starve than acknowledge that.

[coredrill]

gravion thots!!!!!!

okay huge spoilers for both this show and bravern below. BUT. so like i said before i’d actually already seen gravion a while ago and decided to revisit for zwei since the possibility of bravern getting a s2 is. not unlikely probably? seems like it prints money in japan so who is to say LMAO. and tbqh i don’t think there are like. very many similarities? or very much to glean abt potential bravern s2 from zwei? like i’d say on some level that bravern itself feels more like zwei due to bravern feeling like a complete story meanwhile the first season of gravion really doesn’t. LMAO. HOWEVER, i could def see s2’s plot being abt finding out Where the deathdrives come from and Why, kinda like the sandman-hugi-lambias plotline in zwei

honestly at first i thought that gravion and zwei must’ve been greenlit at the same time and just paced in a baffling manner cause why else would the actual plot only start like halfway into zwei? but apparently zwei was actually greenlit after gravion was done so idk why all of the Lore Ideas were saved like that LMAO. honestly it’s mostly just interesting perspective to look back at bravern on at it exists without a s2 - i get the feeling that obari wanted to make sure that none of his ideas stayed on the table, in case he didn’t get to make more, hence why it is so fast-paced and there is so MUCH in there. and i ALSO get the feeling that koyanagi did even more of the work to pull a coherent, consistent, evenly-paced plot out of all of obari’s ideas than i had previously thought and everyone owes him a BIG thanks for making sure that bravern is actually a good show. LMFAO. anyways i said it before and i’ll say it again but koyanagi based as fuck!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS. okay. bravern discussions mostly outta the way so now the rest of the post will be mostly just gravion >:)

i think if i am being honest with myself that gravion is probably a 6/10 and zwei is an 8/10 HOWEVER. zwei REALLY comes together quite beautifully in its back half which leaves the whole affair with a very good aftertaste so to speak AND. i know i joke about “2000s digipaint ecchi mecha show” but there is truthfully something so full of heart to me when it comes to shows that fit that description lmao. ttgl and diebuster are very much the pinnacle of that and while i think they are better shows than gravion, and have more to say, gravion has that same soul to it? like there is such a deep-seated love for every single person, and an unwavering belief that in spite of (and sometimes because of) their flaws, they are capable of anything when they work together!!!! and that fucking GETS me about the super robot genre, just that optimism born of refusal to take the world as it is and to forcibly make it better with all of the people around you!!! if we kick and scream and fight like hell, we’ll move forward a little bit!! surprising absolutely no one who knows i am a rossiu enjoyer, the scene where sandman is convinced he needs to die and then all the people who he has genuinely wronged talk him out of it had me ugly sobbing lmao. super robot anime are beautiful!!!!!!

however now for the things that bug me about gravion cause the number is. not insignificant 😭 i feel like there is a truly excellent show buried in here somewhere but it got kinda mangled along the way and not all of it was able to shine and that makes me sad!!! cause tbh a lot of parts DID make it through intact and they deserve to be loved!!!! i will certainly love them with my whole heart forever despite being 20 years late to the party LMAO.

okay so first things first. WHY IS EVERYONE SO SECRETIVE FOR NO REASON 😭 like starting off with ayaka, i get why she didn’t come out to eiji right away due to his whole reasoning for piloting at first being that he is doing so in order to find her. okay cool! but by the end of regular gravion, eiji’s motivation has evolved? he’s finally accepted the need to Do Something about the zeravire due to the way the attack and his hesitancy impacted yumi…………he’s clearly attached enough to touga that touga nearly killing him caused him to angst for a few days…………so why can’t ayaka just tell him now? yeah it’s fun to play with her secret identity some but i think it’d still be fun if eiji got the chance to fully Know that when raven yells at him it’s really his sister and they get to banter back and forth with the Raven of it all LMAO. hell maybe she could’ve ACTUALLY piloted gravion in its other leg after mizuki left, i would’ve gone bonkers if they got to pilot together!! his quick forgiveness of her not telling him is in character for him but it’s a little anticlimactic that he’s all confused once she revealed herself cause she had no reason to keep it secret for so long 😭 especially since i’m pretty sure mizuki knew too after she and eiji had their adventure!!! mizuki coulda told him at some point instead!!! hell ep13 already feels tacked on since the ongoing plotline abt eiji running away due to touga was resolved in ep12 (i guess????? tbh they don’t really talk abt it touga just says “welcome home eiji 🥺” and then they are inseparable besties in the first half of zwei so i assume they worked it out LMAO) so why not work the Ayaka Reveal into that ep too? maybe it’s an artefact of zwei being greenlit by that point and them wanting to sit on it for a while longer, idk.

actually i say that somewhat dismissively but in the entire first half of zwei they take every instance to show that when given the opportunity eiji and touga choose to hang out together and it’s so 🥺 as long as you ignore that one where eiji is dressed as fucking pickle rick lmao. like a strong aspect of eiji as a character imo is that even though he is initially abrasive towards everyone, after he warms up and they grow closer it really does feel like he actually likes these people!!! and he cares for them!!! and he especially likes hanging out with touga which is so 🥺

anyways i think that the show could’ve really benefited from a flashback to luna’s dad’s death, and the passing of the Raven Mask onto ayaka, thus removing her from the Gravion Pilot Equation. and also that perhaps coinciding with sandman’s realization that touga’s a little freak and needs friends, so ayaka suggests eiji in her place since she knows he’ll be able to get through to touga and also likely has the gravity enzyme since she does. i think this would’ve cleared up the motivations of her AND sandman a lot AND given a much stronger foundation to what’s going on with touga…………

this also leads into my second big issue with the secret-keeping which is that. eina’s character gets completely mangled due to her proto-grand-diva nature being a surprise and it hurts the rest of the show too 😭 like why AREN’T we allowed to know that she is a clone(?) of her original self? why was she created? was it specifically to take care of touga? cause it’s also hard to believe that eina and touga are truly That close when touga’s only friend up to that point has been said to be the grand kaiser!!! like i think the grand kaiser betraying him was honestly more impactful than eina’s DEATH due to not knowing either her as a person or her relationship to touga all that well 😭😭 she has the least developed relationship with eiji too imo, which is a shame cause his relations are the strongest………though i WILL say it’s fucking hilarious to me that she represents the maids on gravion 😭 maid representation matters!!! i just wish that she had a plot or a better defined/explained backstory to connect to!!!

secret number 3: sandman. him keeping secrets about his past due to his guilt makes sense and the reveal is well-timed however that reveal is explained so confusingly and also the weird incest thing going on with him and hugi and lufira legitimately confused me as to what tf actually happened LMAO. like are any of these people actually related???? are they all related???? i have no clue 😭 also i said this before but that unnamed couple who died on lambias looking SUSPICIOUSLY like eiji and touga is fucking suspicious as hell LMAO. is sandman’s grief for them specifically what drove him to choose touga over faye from the orphanage and to seek out ayaka then pivot to eiji???? cause they look like eiji and touga if you aged them up and also if eiji was crossdressing WHICH IS NOT UNHEARD OF.

ALSO speaking of touga nearly killing eiji and also eina’s unclear role in touga’s life. i think this show tries to have its cake and eat it too with the “touga is HEARTLESS” thing 😭 which is sad cause i love his character archetype and there’s already a lot of good stuff there and i just!!!! wish it was done better!!!!!! like the scene where touga nearly kills eiji and cecile is so fucking whack cause 1) we have not yet really seen any indication that touga is Like This? no lack of care for nearby civilians that his teammates challenge, no concern for his fellow pilots throwing themselves into danger (sometimes literally with luna and leele and EINA(!!!) and the way their special attacks sometimes launch them solo at the enemy………… and 2) eiji is taking his sweet fucking time saving cecile 😩 like he gets to her and then sits there for a whole ass minute when he coulda been actually getting outta the way and letting touga do his job!!! he has ample time to escape!!!! it really kills the dramatic tension there and the whole episode comes off so weirdly when it’s supposed to be like. the emotional focal point of the season 😭😭😭 ironically it seems like from what i have seen of SRW Z so far that they’re actually trying to remedy this a bit? like eiji has called out touga TWICE already in their very first battle for his personality change. smth smth that one tweet that’s like “they experience the exact same plots as their shows but boss from mazinger z is there” LMAO

also unrelated but that ep also has the scene where eiji’s like “hey eina doesn’t it bother you that luna and touga are so close 🤨” and i’ve been thinking abt it since watching this time around trying to figure out what it is supposed to be saying? and what prompted eiji to ask that? like luna isn’t into touga yet cause that happens while eiji is away. touga sees everyone platonically except eiji. eiji sees everyone platonically except touga and also leele for five seconds (and he thinks “she’d be cute if she smiled” as if touga doesn’t look like a smiley leele 🤨🌈⁉️). eiji and luna are kept pretty strictly platonic and i fucking love them for it. so like. it COULD be eiji’s interest in touga prompting him to ask that but i honestly doubt it? like they had their ep6 date but i genuinely don’t think he realizes how much he cares for touga until touga tries to kill him and hurts him on that personal level LMAO. so it would be weird to have eiji consciously foreshadow/lampshade that here. which just leads me to believe that it’s supposed to be implying that EINA is into touga???? since there was also an earlier scene with her and the other maids where they asked if she liked touga and she got flustered? but like then in zwei she is pretty strictly assigned to being his one and only friend-mom-caretaker who he cares about so much even though he is heartless. IDK 😭😭 this scene just confuses me more the more i think abt it i think. weird ass episode!!!!!!

i think the main thing for me that really holds it back is the just. total lack of desire to do anything interesting with the theme of gravity 😩😭😭 like i guess you could SOMEWHAT say that it exists on an interpersonal level on the protagonists’ side mainly cause eiji manages to stick with the ppl he cares about HOWEVER it has absolutely nothing to do with the zeravire. or hugi. or lambias. or the genocidron. and even the bit about gravion breaking apart when it’s taken too many hits could’ve been explored a lot more imo!!! gravity as a scientific theory has SO much storytelling potential and it’s genuinely disheartening that none of it was used 😭 we never even really see the extent of sol gravion’s power either!!!! which kinda undermines eiji being put there cause he’s Earned It and just kinda makes it seem like the switch is 100% cause touga experienced zwei ep4 and was like “actually i think the only other person who i want to have access to the grand kaiser during battle who could potentially wrap their arms around me from behind is eiji. this is the perfect idea since i think he’s a little too far away from me in the right leg and it freaks me out when we’re in battle and i’m not physically close enough to protect him. i need to tell sandman about this Now” which is cool cause i love them but i would’ve ALSO loved to see a moment where eiji is either tested as the person to pilot the Willpower To Power mecha OR where he is able to use that power in a moment where there is no other solution for them. eiji just got a cool promotion, let’s let him use it!!!!!

anyways the good stuff now!!!! i feel like this section might be shorter but there IS actually more stuff i like in this show than dislike however i just have more notes abt the things that could be improved LMAO. okay so first off i fucking LOVE eiji he is an EXTREMELY good “heart of the team” character. imo. he’s literally the opposite of a deadbeat dad cause he went out one day to go look for touga in the bigass city and came back with mizuki and luna too 😩 best fucking boy!!!!!!!! i love that he’s not naive either, like tbh a character trope that grinds my gears is “too good for this world too pure never has conflict ever” and while that’s usually associated with having a big heart i LOVEEEEEEEEE that eiji gets to be all heart AND be abrasive and angry and fuck up!!!! he’s seen some shitty things about the world and yet is so quick to forgive and love and care!!!! i love his friendship with leele where he’s like a bit of an older brother to her and yet when he runs away SHE’S the one to come call him out on his shit (mirroring his own ethos) and he listens to her!!!! i love his friendship with mizuki where they get to connect over knowing ayaka and even though mizuki doesn’t tell him everything, it feels like they hold high respect for each other through ayaka!!!! i love that when mizuki leaves the EFA that EIJI is her first call cause she knows that even if everyone else has fallen apart that he’ll still be there to scrape the pieces back together, and i love that even though she’s just betrayed them eiji forgives her and trusts what she has to say about where touga is and where they should meet her!!!! i LOVEEEEE his friendship with luna, in that they grind each other’s gears cause they are so similar but grow to really respect each other and in zwei have some of the most genuine and honest conversations together because they trust each other so much!!! like they CAN confide in each other (mostly about touga lmfao) without yelling cause they respect each other, but also their edges don’t get smoothed over and they both still get to be annoyances towards each other too!!! honestly i fucking love luna too, like she and leele kinda got the shaft in s2 for Touga Love Triangle (lmfao) but genuinely when girls are like. THEY think they're the Responsible Mature ones and they are 100% capable and determined meanwhile they have moments where they can be just as childish and abrasive and immature as the guys around them is one of my favorite types of Anime Girl tbh. yoko-core rain-core yknow!!! anyways back to eiji he and SANDMAN have such a good relation too, like i love how eiji at first refuses his responsibility but once he accepts it he becomes someone sandman truly trusts and relies on!!!! eiji’s literally not sandman’s brother-in-law, he’s the brother who stepped up (MORE ON THIS LATER)!!!!!

eiji and touga though. MAN 😭😭😭 i feel like a joke mentioning how much of a Romance Hater i am at this point in the year of bravern but. it literally is true, like the first romance that ever made me actually feel things was kaworu and shinji in large part because i think that the whole “feeling alone all your life but not knowing until you find someone who is Like You and get maybe a little too intense abt it” is like. peak queer teen experience LMAO. like not even necessarily in a romantic sense, my aro ass 100% had friendships like that in my teen years, hence why it appeals to me with kaworu and shinji!! they are me and my friends and the stuff we experienced at 14!! and then smith and isami were the second and THAT one was in large part ALSO because of a highly relatable queer experience, which is the paralyzing fear of being known for who you truly are and how the people around you will perceive that, but the other people Like You love you anyways. even if you are Unconventional and Strange and Bad. and there is also the element of wanting to be more like the people who are Like You, because in doing so you become more Yourself. and also i think it’s cool that the mecha is part of it LMAO.

and now tell me why eiji and touga are ALL of those things AND have a “raised/created to be a Weapon” character AND eiji says that touga looks like an “angel” in the novel apparently AND they were doing this shit in 2004 😭😭😭 i know i have been such a menace abt them and i will probably continue to be and i’m deeply sorry to everyone who has wound up w clips of them in DMs but i’m just. jesus. FINE OBARI YOU GOT ME. I LIKE THEM. I LIKE THEM SO MUCH. their date episode is such a fucking standout cause there is smth really beautiful to me abt how easily eiji coulda dropped touga like dead weight the second his real friends showed up and he absolutely refused to do so? like you can see how uncomfortable and awkward touga is in the way he interacts w eiji’s friends but eiji just makes repeated efforts to involve touga and make sure that he doesn’t feel left out just because he’s never left the castle and it’s. really just so sweet!! and then by the end eiji is genuinely finding joy in introducing touga to new things!!!

and i could go on abt zwei ep9/10 FOREVERRRRR like ep9 being the fulfillment of eiji’s whole “if someone close to you disappears you go after them” ethos but literally for touga. and at the same time touga’s having the worst day ever until eiji literally finds him and shows up on his motorcycle all sweaty and rolls around on the ground with him LMAO. touga’s “i never asked you to worry about me!” line is fucking insane and then eiji having an extra helmet for touga to wear on the ride home is so 🥺 genuinely no wonder touga has EVEN MORE of an Eiji Complex after that moment cause he literally had to hug eiji from behind that whole motorcycle ride home LMAO. and then touga coming around 100% full circle from being like “eiji’s not really good at piloting so we don’t need him 😇” to “eiji is actually so critical to this whole gravion thing and me in particular that i want him right next to me piloting the actual literal heart cause that’s the place that suits him the best”. literally what if i let you change me irreversibly inside and out so that i can no longer exist in this world without carrying you alongside me FROM TOUGA’S MOUTH!!!!!!! touga tenkuuji the fucking Character that you are!!!!!! eiji shigure the fucking Character that YOU are!!!!!!!! fucking cataclysmic yaoi the both of you

also i can’t fucking believe obari outright said they were yaoi LMAO, like i’d say “i didn’t know he was allowed to do that” BUT well uh. we haven’t gotten gravion drei despite his & the VAs’ interest in making it 😭 as recently as last year he still wanted to make it as a web comic too……………i obviously have no clue whether him calling eiji and touga yaoi in one interview 20 years ago impacts that but it DOES stand out to me that he hasn’t yet done so w bravern. but also that just means that if i ever win the lottery i WILL be funding his gravion drei web comic cause i need to know what’s in there after 20 years. timeskip + eiji/touga wedding please!!!!!!!! do it for me and the six other people on the planet who like these dopey looking motherfuckers 😭 they’re the sun!!!!!! ☀️☀️☀️

also also it is hilarious to me that obari got fucking suzuken to be bravern (and he also auditioned for smith??) after watching a few clips of him as eiji. like genuinely do you think obari has suzuken on speed dial for when he needs a character to homoerotically yell his boy bestfriend’s name 😭😭 it does kinda make me want to rewatch in sub HOWEVER i don’t think i could do that cause the english adv dub? FUCKING INSPIRED. luna’s delivery in particular is always SO GOOD i have literally been walking around saying “what is it gonna take for a girl to get the SCOOP around here?” at the smallest confusion for weeks 😭 greg ayres as touga manages the fucking switch between Battle Mode and Silly Mode SO well, AND THEY DUBBED OVER THE MAIDS SINGING THE COMBINATION SONG THANK YOU FOR MY LIFE GRAVION ZWEI!!!!!!!! and i probably don’t need to say it but chris patton and greg ayres absolutely understood the assignment and between their performances and their contributions to the ADR script the show honestly just feels so earnestly excited about eiji and touga’s relationship and it’s. so good!!! i love that queers contributed so much to it!!!! it’s a good ass dub!!!!!!!!

like that’s actually one of the things holding me back from saying that i want a remake of the show lmfao. like on one hand i think this show is kinda prime remake opportunity since the character animation could use a TON of work, the story structure could use another pass or two, we could actually show the zeravire evolving and not just mention it when convenient, the thematic relevance of Gravity could be used a whole lot more and eiji and touga can fuHOWEVER. i don’t think chris patton does anime anymore and it’d be lacking without him to dub over eiji (if the show even got a dub since crunchy roll can not be fucking assed to dub mecha in 2024 apparently. if they even RELEASE it) 😭😭 also one of the other aspects of the show that is truly great is just how weighty gravion himself feels? like that is a HEAVY robot and i don’t think i’ve yet seen that sense of weight conveyed in 3D mech animation as well as it is here. and i don’t want to give that up for gravion cause gravity is his thing!!!! the weight has thematic relevance!!!! i am honestly somewhat tempted to do my own sort of reworking of the show’s plot + extrapolate it to a theoretical “drei” but tbh there’s no way in hell i could write that much LMAO. i just love the show a lot!!!!! and i want to give it the love it deserves!!!!!!!

anyways. i think that’s finally it except for this post-show family tree that i made which is absolutely fucking hilarious to me 😭 granted it DOES assume eiji/touga wedding and eina as touga’s mom-figure and also it ties luna’s dad to ayaka via the raven identity cause it’s funnier that way but that means that 5 of the 6 grand knights are now related in one way or another. LMAO. some highlights:

eiji and sandman are brothers in law

luna and leele are step sisters which is honestly cute as hell

ayaka is now leele and luna’s step mom and EIJI is leele and luna’s step uncle

post eventual eiji/touga wedding touga is ALSO leele and luna’s step uncle. which means those poor girls have to pilot gravion with their gay uncles 😭 also touga is sandman’s brother in law and idk what to even say about that one LMAO. eina now being eiji's aunt is kinda cute as hell tho im afraid

my tiny pea brain may have done this wrong however i’m kind of obsessed w the idea that the grand knights have the most bizarre found family dynamic known to man EXCEPT for mizuki who somehow made it out unscathed LMAO.

[ceruleanwhore]

I recently started working at a grocery store deli and I just have to rant about Boar’s Head because holy shit they suck. They really are the face of authoritarianism and y’all don’t even know.

So, apparently, a whole bunch of stuff around how our deli is structured comes from these cunts insisting upon it. No number ticket system for customers? Boar’s Head. Keeping all open meats in individual, really big ziplock bags? Boar’s Head. Hell, we have like five meats we keep on cutting boards in the case next to the salads as a loophole because 85% of our regular case space for the meats and cheeses has to go to these fuckers. That isn’t even the display, it’s the bags of open meats and cheeses we slice btw.

The other thing I have a huge issue with is that we are supposed to indiscriminately push their product over everything else. For the most part, this is fine because we only have their brand and our generic for the majority of meats and cheeses, but there’s a few exceptions. Namely, we have Land O Lakes and Cooper’s white American cheeses, Krakus ham, and Carando salami and pepperoni. I actually asked my department manager if any of those other companies know about our whack ass deal with Boar’s Head and how we’re supposed to push the fuck out of them and he doesn’t know if they do or not.

The other thing with all of this is that I’ve worked in two other delis that carry BH products and we didn’t have even a fraction of this shit. To be fair, those were smaller, family owned businesses and I now work at a grocery store, but still, we didn’t even have to push their product or anything at all. The store I now work at is a smaller, local grocery store chain that’s family-owned and when I see the level of straight up tyranny from Boar’s Head, it feels like this bigger corporation is taking advantage of that and bullying us into a shit deal. My manager also said we started carrying them during the height of the pandemic because we couldn’t get stuff from our other suppliers, so it feels like these carpetbaggers just completely took advantage to an absurd degree. We all think they actually might have ties to the mafia too, so there is that.

I almost forgot to add this but it’s not just that we’re supposed to push their product like that, they also send in secret shoppers to make sure we are or they’ll literally stop supplying. They sent this one bitch two days before Fourth of July and we failed because she got me and I was new, so I didn’t know about any of this shit. Also, this fucking idiot asked me for ham that’s “less wet” so I asked if she meant like regular ham and she said yes, so I’m thinking okay, not boiled ham but also something that isn’t flavored or smoked and I suggested our generic off the bone ham. She ended up telling our corporate overlords that we were pushing that generic ham for no fucking reason because of fucking course she backpedaled the second she realized she fucked up and failed to mention the most important part. And this was 2 days before the fourth.

Anyway, I wish to fucking God that company would just die and it would be so lovely if people would stop buying their shit. PS: half their products aren’t even that good, never mind good enough for the price gouging. The Carando salamis and pepperoni are genuinely better, I don’t trust any of their Italian meats, Krakus is a better boiled ham, and theirs is the worst American cheese.

[joshuaalbert]

it’s like. I don’t think this was the intent. i genuinely just think it was a byproduct of production schedules, and also of journey’s end’s basically unrelated b plot resulting in a limited amount of time to address basically anything to the point where some people seemingly do not even grasp that wesley is just straight up clinically depressed. but as a result jaxa’s death ends up being this unspoken thing especially between wesley and picard, who sent her on the mission, and wesley and his mother, who had less involvement but was still one of the last people to see her alive.

and in some ways that makes sense! picard is not good at talking to wesley until they’re in life or death situations, and although this…kind of is, picard either does not grasp that or does not know how to address it. wesley and his mom often kind of don’t talk about difficult things despite ostensibly being close, and it seems like she often opts to give him space to deal with things instead of pushing him to talk about him, either because she’s worried about pushing him away or because neither of them really know how. and it’s also just a complicated thing to address because it requires bringing up the trial, it requires bringing up josh’s death, it requires navigating the fact that wesley and jaxa were no longer friends after the trial despite being presumably hugely important people in each other’s lives before that, so it’s a hard conversation for anyone to start, especially with someone who seems unhappy to speak to anyone. it ends up being this really good case study about how no one really knows how to talk to wesley in a way that actually gets anywhere about the things that have traumatized him. BUT like. let’s be real. is the average viewer going to put any of that together. especially the average viewer watching this in 1994 who has not seen the first duty since it aired two years ago and is operating off a vague memory and the information mentioned in lower decks, which doesn’t really get at the degree of that bond, just that they were both in the squadron crash. wesley is probably 22 in this episode and two of the four people he was once close enough to to consider betraying his ethics for are dead. one was expelled, and we can probably extrapolate from pre-voy tom paris how well nick is taking it. he’s one of two left from this group that was supposed to represent starfleet’s best, and between that and his father (and even tasha, who he wasn’t necessarily particularly close with but was still someone important to him who died abruptly when he was 16), no fucking wonder he’s disillusioned. this is what working hard and believing in the people around you gets you. even if most of the enterprise crew he grew up around is fine, and even if that’s a significantly higher number, when so many of the people who die are the ones close to you, you’re obviously going to feel like that number is higher. maybe his perspective is skewed, but how could it not feel that way? why put his whole life into something he no longer has passion for when this is what succeeding at it gets you?

so yes, jaxa’s death is a reasonable catalyst for all of that even if they were no longer close, but the fact that it’s never mentioned means most of the audience may not even make that connection. his character is going to lose coherence to some percentage of people because they reasonably aren’t keeping count of these things, they aren’t putting this together, especially given that tng’s still largely episodic so you don’t expect to have to keep track the same way. it’s at this weird intersection of “not speaking about it isn’t entirely out of character for the people involved” and “it does a massive disservice to the internal logic of wesley’s character,” but the latter feels far more important in a way that really makes me wish things had gone differently and that reference to lower decks could be included.

like i have to guess that lower decks and journey’s end only being 5 episodes apart and not focusing on the same characters means they were probably being written largely concurrently and without communication about the connections, and ik this arc is kind of surprisingly serialized in way that’s not quite compatible with tng’s general methodology, but i am having the type of evening where the lack of explicit continuity between the two is beating my ass

[forever-rogue]

His + Hers

Summary | You didn’t want a bodyguard and certainly didn’t need one. Bucky didn’t want the job. But as soon as the two of you meet, all bets are off.

Pairing | Bucky x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 4.2k

Warnings | language (including light degradation, possessive!Bucky, smut (oral - f receiving, piv) - minors dni or you will be blocked

Masterlists | Bucky, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“I don’t need anyone to watch over me,” rolled eyes and loudly snapped gum. Crossed legs and an anxiously jiggling foot. The aging clock ticked loudly as your gaze burned into the giant dual monitors that shielded the man on the other side. He had just oh so casually dropped some horrible news to you. 

What was his name? Jeff? Jeffrey? Jefferson? It didn’t matter. Funny. For a man that you’d seen more often than your father in recent years, you’d think you might have remembered his name. Despite all that you still hadn’t seen him more than four, save five, times.

“Those are your father’s wishes.”

“Then why isn’t he here telling me this?”

“He’s a very busy man.”

“A man too busy to see own daughter, his own child, always work, work, working,” you spat, “what he could be doing that’s so important that he couldn’t even spare me fifteen minutes of his time?”

“He’s-”

“It was a rhetorical question,” you stood up and grabbed your bag, “sometimes it still shocks me that a man that claims he loves me so much he barely speaks to me, sees me. I don’t want this bodyguard - if you send them to me I will simply send them away. Don’t waste my time or theirs.”

“Your father is going to send someone regardless of your wishes, you must know this by now.”

“Tell him if he’s so insistent upon me being chaperoned like a puppy that he can come and talk to me himself,” you threw your shoulders back as you tried to chase away emotions or feelings. This was not the time or place for them, “see you in another six months for so.”

“Miss -”

You slammed the door shut before he could say anything else. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“This is fuckin’ ridiculous,” Bucky’s groan was heavy - irritated - as he trudged up the stairs to the ninth freaking floor. Of course you couldn’t live somewhere near the bottom. Of course the elevator was broken, “I’m gonna murder you, Wilson.”

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, he calmed himself with every single step. Left foot, right foot, and repeat. Before he knew it, he arrived on your floor, less angry but still annoyed. 

Bucky looked around for your apartment number, finding it quickly but wishing he hadn't. It was supposed to be a simple job - hang around you for a little while until things calmed down around your father. There was never any huge threat to you, but you were to be kept safe anyway. Typical rich people, he practically rolled his eyes. Complete idiot, he sighed at himself. He could have walked away from the gig easily, but things had been quiet after everything in New York and he needed something fresh. Naturally he’d say yes to this when Sam mentioned the job to him. 

Once he found your apartment he slowly trudged through the hall, his mind all but made up about you already. You were going to be nothing more than a spoiled little brat. He looked at the golden number above your door and sighed heavily before knocking loudly. 

For a few moments, nothing but silence met his ears before he finally heard what he was sure was annoyed grumbling inside accompanied by soft footsteps. The door was whipped open and Bucky came face to face with you. 

Your brows knitted together as you studied him before crossing your arms over your chest, “can I help you?”

“James Barnes,” his name practically came out as a sigh. You raised your eyebrows at him but remained silent.

“And?” you asked as you moved to close the door, “I’m in the middle of my fifth zoom meeting of the day and annoyed and hungry. Thanks for wasting my time. Have a fantastic day.”

Before you could slam the door in his face, Bucky stuck his foot in the doorway and prevented you from closing it. A huff escaped your lips as you glared at him through the crack, “your father sent me. I’m supposed to look after you.”

“Ahh yes,” you rolled your eyes and frowned, “the baby-sitter my father hired. I told him and his assistant that I don’t want - or need - anything to watch me. I’m fine. So if you don’t mind you can leave. I’m busy and don’t have time to deal with you.”

“You don’t pay me sweetheart,” he scoffed lightly as his tongue darted out to wet his lips. You wanted a challenge? He’d give you one, “and as long as that’s the case, I stay.”

“I’ll double whatever he paid you.”

“Oh honey, I doubt you could ever afford that.”

“What can I do to get you to leave?”

“Nothing.”

“It really doesn’t seem like you want to be here either so why don’t we both do ourselves a favor and cut the shit?”

“Not until your father tells me it’s okay to leave,” he smirked, “I don’t take orders from little girls, sweetheart. Nor do you pay my bills.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re a bitch,” your mouth opened into a little pout as you attempted to shut the door on his foot, “you can shut the door, it won’t hurt me. I’ll just tear it down if I have to.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Want to find out?” he asked as you threw your head back and sighed at the ceiling. Yes and no. You wanted to push his buttons and see how far you could press. But you also didn’t have the energy to deal with it. Instead you slowly, ever so reluctantly opened the door, refusing to move but motioning for him to come in. He practically sauntered in with a victorious little smirk on his lips, “good girl.”

You were to let him have it when he turned around to face you and finally got the chance to study him. And your jaw almost hit the floor. Fuck. 

He was handsome - dark hair and the bluest eyes you’d ever seen with a five o’clock shadow. He was dressed in very well fitting jeans, along with a henley and leather jacket. So casual but he managed to make it look so good. For a moment you thought he looked familiar but you couldn’t quite place. Maybe you’d seen him around somewhere. 

Well, this presented a whole new predicament. This would have been so much easier if he hadn’t been one of the most gorgeous men you’d laid eyes on.

“Like what you see?” 

“I’m not into old men,” you cocked your head to the side and watched him with a smirk. Bucky almost tripped up and let an emotion slip but instead he remained pointedly neutral as he looked you up and down. 

It would have been easier to dislike and hate you entirely if you weren’t so damn cute. You were dressed in a comfy, oversized sweater and joggers and big fuzzy socks - casual and cute but effortlessly so. It was a challenge not to stare. 

“Whatever you say,” he held up his hands in mock defeat as you became momentarily placated, “what’s the plan for today?”

“I have a job and things to do,” you huffed as you pushed past him, “so just do something or whatever and stay out of my way. If you insist on being here.”

“I do.”

“This is going to be fucking hell, isn’t it?”

“It can be whatever you want, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart!”

“Sure thing, doll.”

"I hate you already.”

“The feelings’ mutual, honey.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Hating Bucky was a full time job. Bucky having to chaperone you through all of your shenanigans was a full time job. Both of you were incredibly stubborn and damn near made the job impossible. 

You'd be lying if it said he wasn't attractive and that you hadn't thought about him. Especially late at night. Alone in bed. But you'd rather die than admit that to him. 

Bucky had a feeling he'd break you down eventually; not that he expected anything to come of it. He enjoyed flirting with you and watching you get frazzled and nervous. But you weren't his type. Nuh uh - Bucky Barnes wasn't into pretty little spoiled brats. Even if they weren't attractive and smart and genuinely kind underneath it all. 

That wasn't part of the job. Which was why he never let it go past anything that could be deemed as flirtatious.

Just as he vowed to break you down and just admit you liked him, you might have had a little goal of your own…

"Come on," Bucky sighed as he paced around your living room, waiting for you to come out of the bedroom so you could pizza and watch movies. It had become somewhat of a Friday night tradition, reluctantly so. It was hard to get out and have a lot of fun when you had a silent, intimidating brooding man following you around, "how long does it take to change?"

"Shut up," you rolled your eyes as you opened your bedroom door and stepped out, slipping on your heels, "I'm ready."

Bucky's eyes widened as he looked you over. You were wearing a little black dress and fuck me heels along with ruby red lips and a full face of makeup. He fought back a little growl as you smirked at him, "what the fuck are you wearing?"

"Its called a dress, genius."

"To get pizza so we can come back and watch movies?"

"That's not the plan," you straightened up and walked past him, grabbing your purse and jacket.

"You said-"

"I lied," you stated the obvious, "I'm going out to finally have some fun. Without you."

"I'm coming with you," he crossed his arms over his broad chest as you tried not to stare, "that's the job, sweetheart."

"And I'd like to actually have fun and get laid," you threw your hands up, "its hard to do that with you breathing down my neck constantly! If you insist, can you at least like stay ten feet away. Give me a fucking break."

His breath had hitched in his throat as soon as he heard the words get laid and he worked to keep it together. He sighed as he forced himself not to imagine you underneath, naked and begging for more. 

"Fine," he agreed reluctantly, "ten feet only."

"Thank fuck."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

One drink had turned into two which easily turned into three and after that you’d both lost count. Bucky had been sitting at the bar, a singular, but arbitrary drink in his hand as he watched you get progressively looser as the evening wore on. His steely gaze almost never left yours as he watched you chat up people around you. You were naturally extroverted, and definitely a flirt - but then again maybe that was the alcohol - and it wore Bucky out trying to keep an eye on you. He wasn’t terribly concerned about what was going on, but still, he was a man that took his job seriously.

It wasn’t until he decided that it was fine to let you out of his sight for a few moments only to turn back and found you missing. A growl bubbled up in his throat as he scanned the tightly packed pace and found you in the middle of the dance floor. You were pressed against a man that had been eyeing you up since you’d gotten there, mouths smashed together as you kissed him like your life depended on it. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and his hands were on your ass the entire time.  

As soon as you ground up against him, something in Bucky snapped. He threw back the rest of his drink and quickly made his way over to you. The people in his path parted like the seas when they noticed the predatory expression in his eyes. Before you could even realize what had happened, you felt a hand tightly squeeze your shoulder. A gasp left your lips as Bucky pulled you away from your newfound friend.

“What the fuck!” you glared at him as the man that just had his hands all over you grew visibly nervous. Bucky grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close, “Bucky!”

“Keep your filthy fuckin’ hands off of her, you understand?” he growled at the man as he just nodded, “I ever see you near her again and you’re dead. You leave my girl alone.”

Bucky shoved him away and the man practically skittered across the bar and out the door without so much as a single glance back. Breathing angrily, he turned around to find you staring at him in awe, arms over your chest. You were suddenly incredibly sober, “what the hell was that? I’m not your fucking girl, Bucky.”

“We’re going home. Now,” he reached for your hand and held your wrist in a tight grip as he dragged you without another word. You wanted to argue with him and fight back, but there was something about his possessive nature that had sent a shiver down your spine and a rush of warmth to your core as you let him pull you along like a ragdoll. 

Maybe your dangerous little plan was finally going to turn into reality.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Are you going to finally tell me what’s going on?” you asked as you walked back into your apartment, trailing after Bucky and slamming the door shut, “you chased off my only chance of-”

Before you could say anything else, Bucky’s hands found your waist and he crashed his lips onto yours in a bruising tangle of tongue and teeth. You responded with a surprised moan as he backed you up against the wall, making sure you didn’t hit your head. 

“He’s a fuckin’ boy,” he insisted as he lightly gripped your throat, causing you to part your lips as you fought back a moan, “he wouldn’t have made you cum. Probably doesn’t even know where your pretty little clit is.”

“And you would?” you challenged, already knowing exactly where this was leading. Something in your mind told you that this was wrong and you should have stopped it, but the larger part of you really just wanted him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about it for weeks and weeks now, touching yourself late at night to the thought of him. Bucky smiled at you - a dangerous, toothy, wicked thing causing you to swallow thickly, “I don’t think you could. You’re all talk, Bucky. Probably haven’t even been laid since the 40s.”

“Don’t act like you don’t want this too, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear before trailing kisses along your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking at the delicate skin, making it a point to mark you up. That way everyone would know you were his. He rutted his lips lightly against yours, and you could already feel how hard he was, “I see the way you look at me - I know you’ve thought about me. Probably touched that pretty pussy of yours and wished it was my cock, huh little girl?”

“Bucky,” his name was nothing more than a whimper of your lips as you tried to reach down and touch yourself. He was quick to grab your hand and pull it away. You whimpered as he just chuckled darkly. Oh, how easily he could break you down with just a few words, “please. Need you.”

“I’ll give you what you need,” he swore as he watched you with hungry eyes. He shimmied up your dress and moved to touch you. His smirk only grew when he noticed you’d forgone panties, “look at you, such a little slut. You didn’t even put on panties? You really wanted this, didn’t you? Were you just hoping I’d touch you? I bet you had this whole thing planned out - just wanted me to fuck you, didn’t you?”

You looked at him with wide doe eyes but remained silent as you tried to play coy. But he was having none of it, and grabbing your jaw, “answer me.”

“Mhmm..,just want you,” you admitted as he slowly let go before grabbing both of your wrists in his vibranium hand and pinning them above your head, “just touch me.”

And he did - slowly, he dragged his fingers through your folds, smirking at how wet you already were, “oh honey, you’re practically dripping. So wet already, and I’ve barely even touched you. Such a good little slut.”

Your eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of him circling your clit slowly before feeling your soaked folds and sliding a thick finger inside. A small sound of surprise reached his ears as you almost rutted into his hand and he easily slid another finger in. The stretch from his fingers was enough to spark the warmth in your belly as you bit your lip to keep from whining. 

“Look at you, such a needy little thing,” you could hear the smirk in his voice as he fucked with his fingers, “but you’re not going to cum on my fingers. I’m going to see if you taste as sweet as you look. Gonna make ruin that pussy for anyone else. You’re mine - you understand?”

“‘m yours,” you whimpered as he let go of your hands and slowly sank to his knees in front of you. His large hands, a contrast of warm and cool, splayed on your thighs before slowly traveling up to your hips and grabbing them in a bruising grasp. This man was really working to make sure he would remain all over you. He pressed a few kisses to your thighs before stopping at your mound, and you could feel his warm breath fanning across on your pussy, “please.”

“That’s right, you can be a good girl,” he didn’t even hesitate for a moment before diving in and licking a stripe up your folds, causing sparks to shoot throughout your spine. You could feel him smirking against you at the immediate effect he had as he ate you out like a man starving. 

Bucky Barnes was not a shy man when it came to eating pussy. He licked and suckled on your clit as he let two of his cool vibranium fingers slide into your pussy. He crooked them just right, effortlessly finding your g-spot as your knees threatened to buckle. No one man had ever made you feel this good before, nor so easily. 

“F-fuck,” you hissed as he pulled back and look at the blissed out expression on your face, “more please.”

“Look at you pretty little thing,” he grinned as he pressed a few wet, sloppy kisses to your mound. He pulled his fingers from you before reaching up and practically ripping your dress off. If you’d hadn’t been so close to cumming, you would have yelled at him, but in the moment you didn’t care. Especially not as his hands found your breasts and massaged them before he played with your pert nipples, causing you to arch into his touch, “not wearing a bra either. You are bad.”

“‘m so close,” you whined as he just smirked at you. Before you could say anything else he slapped your pussy, causing you to jump slightly before you keened into his touch, silently asking for more. 

“You like that, honey?” he teased as you nodded with closed eyes, your mouth forming a small o. He repeated the motion before he grabbed your ass and buried his face back into your pussy. You moaned into his touch, bucking your hips against his mouth as he made all the most sinful noises as he ate you out like his life depended it on. He worked pure magic with only his tongue and he soon had you seeing stars as your legs started to shake around him. He anchored you to him and kept you from falling down as he brought on your orgasm, “that’s it honey. You’re going to cum all over my face, going to taste all that pretty pussy has to offer.” 

“F-f-fuck,” you reached down and carded a hand through his dark hair as you held him against you, “jesus.”

“Cum for me,” he commanded and you did just as you were told, crying out his name like a prayer as you felt your release wash over you. Bucky stayed between your legs as you came all over him, cleaning up every little bit you had, not stopping until you were begging him to stop from the over stimulation, “tastes like fuckin’ candy. Best pussy I ever tasted.” 

“Jesus,” your chest was heaving as he kissed his way up your body. He stopped at your lips and offered you a victorious little smirk, “you’re an asshole but at least you know how to eat pussy.”

He grabbed your chin in his hand and forced you to look at him, “you’re mine - this pussy is mine and no one else’s, you understand, little brat?”

“Ruin me then,” you raised your eyebrows before you kissed him again, trying to beat him at his own little game. But it was no use - he was easily more dominant and held control over you, “make me yours.”

“Turn around,” he growled as he flipped you in his arms and pressed you against the wall. You moaned as his hands mapped out every curve of your body before you felt the sharp sting of his hand on your ass. Just to spur him on a little more, you bounced your ass and he slapped you a few more times before massaging your skin to soothe the pain, “you like it when it hurts. God, you’re perfect. My little slut.”

“Please fuck me. Need you so bad,” you practically whined but quickly grinned when you heard him undo his belt and pants before he pulled his cock out.  He groaned in your ear as you heard him stroke himself a few times.

“‘m so fucking hard, baby,” he ran the tip of his cock through your folds and you could already feel how big he was, “got me leakin’ already. Thought about you and that smart little mouth so many times. Always cum so hard when I think about you. Can’t wait to see how good this pussy feels squeezing my cock. You’re going to take all of me, little thing.”

He coated his length with your arousal - you were already so wet again - before slapping his cock against your ass. You tried to reach around so you could touch him but he slapped your hand out of the way. 

“Put your cock in me,” you practically begged and before you could say anything else, he plunged into you, causing you to practically scream in surprise. He didn’t stop until he was fully sheathed inside of you, feeling like he was practically splitting you apart. The burn quickly faded away as you moaned and clenched your walls around him, “fuck, you’re so big.”

“Did you expect anything else, pretty baby?” he whispered in your ear before grabbing your hips again. He slowly pulled out almost all the way before thrusting back into you with no warning. You clawed at the wall as he set a brutal pace, slamming his hips into yours over and over again, letting you have almost no room to breath. The only sounds that left your lips were small whimpers and mewls he fucked you to an inch of your life. 

You felt the coolness of the vibranium snake around your body before he found your clit. You let him press you against the wall as he pounded into you, and you quickly left your second orgasm start to bubble up in your tummy. 

“Taking my cock so well,” he praised as he slowly played with your clit. He was not shy about being loud and moaning, all while murmuring filthy praise into your ear, “so tight - so perfect. This pussy was made for me.”

“More,” you begged in between breaths, “harder, please.”

“You want it harder, pretty baby? You’re not gonna be walkin’ after this,” he smirked before he picked the pace and fucked you even harder than before, which you hadn’t even thought possible, “good girl. Good fuckin’ girl. Gonna cum all over my cock?”

“Mhmm,” you agreed with a wistful smile, a fucked out expression on your face as you felt his cock twitch inside of you as your walls started to clench around him, “please, please, please.”

“Gonna fill you up,” he said through gritted teeth as he slowed his thrusts, making them slower and deeper than before, “gonna make sure you know who you belong to.”

It was a few more thrusts before you came again, crying out as the pleasure rippled through your body. Bucky came quickly after, grunting as he came inside of you, filling you up with hot ropes of his cum. He fucked you through it all, not stopping until you were feeling boneless and he had filled you with every last drop. 

He easily caught you just as you were about to collapse in his arms and pulled you against his chest as he pressed a few kisses to your shoulder. You reached behind you and carded a hand through his arm, scratched at his scalp as he continued to kiss your neck and shoulder.

“Fuck, Bucky,” you said as you tried to catch your breath, “that was incredible.”

“I told you I’d ruin every other man for you,” he slowly pulled out and turned you around so you were facing him. You put a hand under your chin and turned your face up to his, “you’re mine.”

“I’m your girl,” it was like music to his ears as you reached between your thighs and swiped his cum mixed with your arousal up and sucked it clean off your finger, “my pussy is yours and your cock is mine.”

“Good girl, “ he praised with a wicked smile, “now get on your knees and put that pretty mouth to use.”

“Yes sir.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

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[tethered-heartstrings]

I always get so confused when in fics Hannibal is described as like, a broad shouldered, big man made of muscle. Did we watch the same show? He's fit, sure, but... Not some bodybuilder. He's quite lean, actually.

Also in fics when they say Hannibal could "easily overpower Will" like, have they seen these two guys side-by-side??? Genuinely the only advantage I think Hannibal has is that he knows how to kill people quickly, but if it's a "strength" fight that doesn't matter. They're both built pretty much the same. Hannibal's just what? Like 3-4 inches taller?

Somehow that gives you superhuman strength, according to these people.

People can be very very weird with their depictions of Hannibal and Will's physicality in fics and art. Mads is 6 foot, but he is not that large. He is average. Toned, for sure, we see that in the few scenes his arms are exposed. But the same goes for Will. They are both strong and somewhat on the leaner side. I watch strongmen competitions, and those are Big Ass Dudes, literal tanks on feet. Hannibal and Will are closer to Some Guy than hefty men.

I think Hannibal intentionally does not get Huge (assuming in the universe it is something his biology can allow - not everyone can get super muscley) because he wants to seem unassuming. Trustworthy. Making him Ripped and Enormous completely shatters that. He wants to look like a wealthy psychiatrist in his 50s who is nice and feeds people and throws parties and cares about others. He knows how physical impressions seem; he looked right through Will's facade aka how he physically made himself appear. The one time we see him intentionally working out, he chose to swim. Swimming builds LEAN muscle built for endurance (usually smaller muscle fibers), not Big Hulky Man for Strong Things. Also.... you can just... see his fucking body. He is a nicely toned, fairly lean guy. (Hannibal carrying Will in Digestivo was camp, literally no human being could actually do that)

People like to bulk him up because they like this disgusting sexual powerplay between him and Will. People associate Strength with Power aka overpowering poor little helpless uwu Will. So, they make him artificially bigger to play into this fantasy that Will is small and helpless and its absurd and obnoxious. Like, yeah, Mads is taller than Hugh, but Hannibal and Will are pretty well matched physically. Do people forget Will beat to death a man in a mecha killing suit with his bare hands? He had a SHOTGUN and DROPPED IT and said "yeah, my FISTS WILL DO" and then HE DID. Also, Will does a LOT of house repairs. It takes strength and endurance to fix engines and repair a hour and do the stuff he does.

Hannibal's advantage is that he has practice killing and has fought many times. We see that with him fighting Tobias, and Jack twice. But Will knows how to kill, too. He has a scrappy factor that is not considered. Hannibal has grace and practice, but Will gives No Fucks. He goes for it and does not stop. We don't know much of his life before, but I imagine he got into a fair number of fights as a kid because he for sure would be the Weirdo who got picked on. And he doesn't take well to bullying so he'd beat them up instead. He also has a lot of experience with injury, and as long as Hannibal kept the fight clean by keeping it mano y mano, I genuinely think Will has a really good chance. It would very likely be they fight to the near death. Like they keep getting up when they should stop and they won't because both are stubborn as fuck and they both hate losing. Like, they fight and both of them lay there unable to stand and just die like idiots. But, they die together.

[harbingerofsoup]

The comprehensive guide for why absolutely everyone should read and watch this work of art.

First of all, Iruma is best boy! He loves his friends and his family, his instinct is to help others, and like… just look at him. So good, so pure. But what truly makes Iruma a protagonist worthy of having a slide to himself is his character development. He actually starts off as a completely selfless person due to how his awful parents groomed him, and his whole character arc is learning how to be more selfish. Of course, Iruma’s selfishness manifests as eating all the food he wants, holding on to his family and friends, and finding ambition.

Sullivan (the first guy) adopts Iruma as his grandson after his parents sold him. This dude radiates grandpa energy and his number one priority is to spoil his new grandson. He’s also the principal of the school he sends Iruma too. And one of the most powerful demons in the netherworld. Opera is Sullivan’s butler, and warms up to Iruma a bit slower than Sullivan (so like a few days). They’re not very expressive facially. Rather they mainly express emotions through their ears and tail. They’re a total Badass™ and surprisingly mischievous. Alice Asmodeus (on the left of the 3rd pic) swore his undying loyalty to Iruma after Iruma accidentally kicked his ass. This man is ride or die, and honestly my words can’t do him justice so it’s better if you just experience this gay disaster for yourself. Clara Valac (right of the same pic) is a gremlin and I love her. Her priority is to play with her friends All. The. Time. But she also has insecurities about her personality after it stopped her from making friends. I put Ameri Azazel (please step on me) in between them. She’s the student council president, a badass, and a huge romantic. Naberius Kalego is the homeroom teacher of the misfit class (the class Iruma ends up in.) He’s a Very strict teacher, but genuinely cares about his students and is good at his job. There are so many other characters, but I want to avoid spoilers and get sleep tonight.

14 year old Suzuki Iruma was raised by his parents to do chores and make them money. Eventually they decided that he wasn’t bringing in enough, so they sold him to a demon who takes him to the netherworld. Instead of eating him though, Sullivan (the demon) asks him to become his grandson, and Iruma, who’s unable to say no under any circumstances, says yes. He starts school at the demon school Babyls (pictured above) where he attends as the only human. Of course if anyone finds out they’ll eat him. While at school, he realizes that he doesn’t have an ambition of his own, so Ameri suggests that he try climbing the ranks (all demons are ranked by their power you know the drill).

This manga is hilarious! With such jokes as Iruma eating a ridiculous amount of food, every interaction between Asmodeus and Clara, and Ameri’s obsession with shojo manga. One of the funniest bits is that due to some unfortunate circumstances, Kalego becomes Iruma’s familiar, and you’ll learn all about this if you check it out, but for now all you need to know is that that fluffy chicken is Kalego. Crossdressing has been used for comedy like three times now, but not in a degrading way. It’s not the butt of the joke or anything. That’s Iruma, and he looks fucking amazing as many other characters have said many times 100% seriously. Moving on, cause explaining humor is difficult!

I adore how Clara is allowed to be a hyperactive gremlin, and I’m not talking “oh she’s quirky” I’m talking playing involves battle axes and acting like a demon bowling ball. You know the trope where the powerful girl isn’t actually that serious and instead is a huge romantic? Well Ameri may be a romantic, but her seriousness isn’t an act. She is 100% dedicated to her ambitions. And look at the designs for some of the recurring background characters! Too often in fantasy settings the female monsters, demons, etc are reduced to almost entirely human, with the exact same body type, and maybe horns or something. Not Here! There’s also the girls in the misfit class who all have their own motivations and interests. I’m also now realizing how many tall girls are in this series… awesome.

Ok so the fact that there’s even more than one queer character already make this amazing. But in addition to that, it’s never treated like a big deal. I mean look at the second picture “gender doesn’t matter to demons” love wins! So Eiko is a recurring character who has a huge crush on both Iruma and Ameri, and later becomes comrades with Asmodeus specifically when it comes to Iruma (they share photos of him it’s hilarious). Asmodeus having a crush on Iruma isn’t explicitly stating, but like I’d like to see someone argue that he doesn’t. Besides, his feelings are always treated the same as Clara’s and Eiko’s when it comes to Iruma. The holy grail of representation though is Opera who’s never referred to by gendered terms. The english dub of the anime actually specifically uses they/them pronouns. When I tell you I screamed! I could go on, but I’m I’m trying to avoid introducing too many characters.

In Mairimashita! Iruma-kun a good family supports and loves each other completely, regardless of blood relations. But it’s not either or. Sullivan, Opera, and Iruma are my golden standard for found family. I mean their love of Iruma is over the top and unconditional, which is what Iruma needs after a life without any such love from his parents. Biological relations are shown as something that isn’t always great, yet it’s not something to be expected either. Clara’s family is a gift, and Asmodeus’ family is one of the funniest dynamics I’ve seen.

These are typically considered negative traits, but here they are portrayed as desirable and useful. And it’s a convincing argument. Through Iruma we see that having your own ambitions and getting pissed is necessary for living a fulfilling life, and we see this because he starts out without having that. Every single time Iruma declares his own ambitions or says something selfish it’s just… chills. It’s always a powerful scene. Whenever Iruma gets truly pissed over something (which has legitimately only happened twice) we all cheer cause we’re so proud of him. I could write a whole essay about this one aspect of the story, but just know that I consider this to be an incredibly compelling narrative, and my favorite part of Mairimashita! Iruma-kun.

In conclusion, I’m posting this on my birthday, so as a present I would like more people to get into this fandom because it deserves a larger fanbase.

[beauty-and-passion]

Time to talk about the flower shirt

You read the title. Time to talk about this.

This is the infamous flower shirt Thomas put on in his store and, since the fandom is the fandom, everyone started to speculate about those flowers.

At first, I didn’t want to do it. They’re just flowers and other people already talked about them, so what could I possibly add to the conversation?

But while I was writing about Orange, I had to talk a moment about the orange flower. It was supposed to be a small parenthesis, just a couple of words about that.

But then I looked at the other flowers and what other people told/not told about them and how some didn’t find Patton’s flower... so here I am, adding my two cents to this theme.

You needed it? Probably not. Well, I’m writing it anyway.

So let’s take a closer look at those flowers and see each one in detail:

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Roman: Red rose

Should I really explain why it’s perfect for Roman? Red roses are the universal symbol of love. Basically in all cultures red roses symbolize passion, true love, romance and desire. Also, according to this website, even the shade has a meaning! In fact, the deeper the red shade is, the stronger is the passion.

And even the number of red roses has a meaning! In this case, we have only one single red rose and that "represents love at first sight, or if it’s coming from a long-term partner, they are saying “you are still the one”.”

You know what that made me think? About Thomas telling Roman “You’re my hero”. A perfect symbol that he was “still the one” for Thomas.

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Orange: Lantana camara

This is an incredibly peculiar flower.

Lantana Camara symbolizes severity and rigour. And this alone can be analyzed in all possible ways, but there are other interesting details about this plant I think it's worth mentioning.

Lantana is toxic for livestock, such as cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and goats. According to Wikipedia, previous studies suggested it could be toxic for humans too, especially the green unripe berries. However "other studies have found evidence which suggests that its fruit poses no risk to humans".

Lantana is a freaking invasive plant. In some areas, it's so predominant, to reduce biodiversity, because its presence "can significantly slow down the regeneration of forests, by preventing the growth of new trees". Also, as if this isn't enough, this plant can also produce toxic chemicals which inhibit other plant species.

Lantana has also a great adaptability, that helped it to be so invasive: it can live in a wide range of different environmental conditions, it can survive long periods without water, heck it's even resistant to fire. It's not a plant you can underestimate. Like Orange, I assume.

But Lantana isn't just an invasive plant. Lantana has always been used for medical purposes, because it showed good antimicrobial, fungicidal and insecticidal properties and its extract helps against respiratory infections and ulcers.

Also, since it doesn't have many pests or diseases, lantana became a common ornamental plant. It even attracts butterflies!

In other words: isn't that the perfect plant to symbolize the double nature of a dark side? It can be a threat, change the environment, destroy and even kill. But it can also be a medicine, something useful, something beautiful.

Whoever Orange is, Lantana camara tells us that, whithout a doubt, he’s a dark side.

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Janus: Sunflower

Do you think Janus isn't perfect enough as he is? Do you think there's not enough husband material in the snek?

Well, you’re wrong and the sunflower is here to prove it.

Sunflower symbolizes loyalty, adoration, longevity, vitality, worship. Now add this up to the sunflower’s behaviour and how it follows the sun... and you’ll get Janus. Janus literally acts like a sunflower: Thomas is his sun and everything Janus does is for him. His whole existence is centered around Thomas.

But we already knew that, because it's the same message that shone through his playlist. Everything about Janus tells us how much he adores Thomas, from his canonical behavior in the series, to his playlist, to this flower.

Oh, do you need another proof that this is flower is perfect for Janus? Some societies use sunflowers as religious symbols. Ah, some good ol' reference to religion: it’s like being in his playlist all over again.

And, of course, sunflowers are used for a variety of reasons, like cooking oils, skin care and so on. Even the flower says self care.

This man is perfect.

__________________________________

Remus: Green chrysanthemum

Here's another interesting flower.

Chrysanthemum symbolizes death and it’s the typical flower used for funerals. And I thought this was its universal meaning. It was perfect for Remus just like that.

But then I found out that Europeans use chrysanthemums for funerals and to honor the dead. This flower actually has a whole lot of meanings, some completely different from this.

In China, for example, chrysanthemums are associated with wealth, prosperity and long life. Also they're symbols of new life and reincarnations, so they're the perfect gift for old people or newborns.

While in Japan chrysanthemums are symbols of power and royalty. And that's even more fitting for Remus, because he's a Duke, so he is royalty.

But chrysanthemum also symbolizes friendship - and not just "a friendship", but a meaningful one. It's a symbol of loyalty, devotion, romantic/platonic love and, in general, positive energy. It's a flower with an incredibly strong meaning, so it can't be given too lightly.

And this makes it even more perfect for Remus. It's a flower with a huge plurality of meanings, it's both associated with life and death, it's powerful and it's royalty.

Also, you can eat it. Isn't that the perfect Remus flower?

(On a side note: please notice how chrysanthemums and sunflowers are both associated with joy, loyalty and devotion. I would have never considered "joy" a common trait between Janus and Remus while loyalty and devotion... well, they both care about Thomas and his career and they both work for him despite not being accepted, so I can see why those are common traits.)

__________________________________

Patton: Nemophila

Surprise surprise, this flower wasn't easy to find. I’ve never heard of it, so I had to search among endless lists of blue flowers, hoping to find one that would perfectly match the one on the shirt.

And that’s how I found nemophila.

First of all: nemophila is also known as "Baby Blue Eyes" and it's an extremely rare color to find in nature. It’s very famous in Japan, thanks to the Hitachi Seaside Park. Open this link: it’s a literal sea of blue and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Of course, it attracts people every year.

Nemophila represents prosperity, congratulations on success and victory. Not the first things you would associate with Patton, right?

Well, while I was searching more informations about this flower, I found out this website about the essence of Baby Blue Eyes and the passage I quoted down below has the exact same words you can find on that link:

With its pronounced affinity for water, the Baby Blue Eyes flower essences addresses qualities of tender sensitivity, innocence and trust associated one’s early childhood relationship to the father, or other significant masculine figures that are in some way disturbed.

Very often the father was absent, or there was a lack of support or genuine presence. The Baby Blue Eyes type attempts over time to cover this wound of vulnerability with a false “hardening,” such as emotional distancing, mistrust, cynicism or spiritual alienation. It is a flower that can be equally helpful for men or women, although it is especially needed for many men who struggle to become strong, by disowning their pain.

So nemophilia’s essence has qualities associated with childhood, to the father figure and attempts to “repress” and hide emotions.

That’s Patton. That’s him, period. The childhood-related emotions, that are linked to Patton’s longing for “a simpler time”. The mentions of a father figure - who migh be absent or showing lack of support (like, idk, suggesting you should die so your friends live?). And the attempt to “cover the vulnerability” doesn’t remind you anything? Like the Nostalgia episodes?

This flower is Patton.

__________________________________

Logan: Blue petunia

I would like to say, from the bottom of my heart, a huge "FUCK YOU" to this flower, because I spent TWO DAYS searching all the blue flowers in the world and all possible variants, asking myself why this goddamn flower looked so familiar and why it was so hard to find. Blue isn't even a common color in nature, so why couldn't I find it?

I've learned more about blue flowers in these two days than in my entire life. I've searched among flowers I never saw before, like glandora diffusa, leschenaultia and omphalodes verna. I was so desperate to consider this flower a new species, with the petals of a bellflower and the corolla of a morning glory. I even found a goddamn chinese variant of the morning glory that was somehow similar but not that much and why, WHY this was so hard to find?!

And then, after two days and a lot more desperation, I remembered: my dear friend @reptilianwithscallions​ told me about a post they made, regarding this shirt and the flowers. Maybe they had some idea about Logan's flower?

Well, let's all thank my saviour and this post, because otherwise I would've kept searching until the end of my days.

Long story short, Logan's flower is a fucking blue petunia.

And it's a very peculiar choice, because petunias have multiple meanings, several of which can be contradictory.

In general, petunia symbolizes anger and resentment. It reminds someone that you're still angry or disappointed by their actions and you haven’t gotten over the things that caused these feelings.

Oh my, I didn't know we were back in Logan's playlist. It's basically what he kept expressing towards Thomas with his songs: that he was angry at Thomas for his decision, that he doesn't approve that Thomas hasn't "a real job" and so on. Petunia is a flower that screams passive-aggressive, so it's perfect for Logan.

But petunia's meaning deeply changes, depending on the color of the flower. And while petunia in general symbolizes anger, a blue petunia is a symbol of peacefulness, intimacy and deep trust, shared between two or more people. It's so wholesome, because the deep trust reminds me - again - of Logan's playlist and how it ended: no matter what, he and Thomas are always best friends.

Also, petunia flowers have even a secret meaning behind. Since they’re also gifted to new neighbors or to people who have just moved into a new home, they represent a perfect welcome and a way to express affection and kindness to others.

You’re lucky to be so wholesome, you tricky flower.

__________________________________

Virgil: Perennial Geranium

Geranium is a confused flower.

Some of the other flowers have conflicted meanings, but not as much as this flower. These are the most common meanings I found:

Folly or Stupidity

Gentility and kind nature

Clever minds

Ingenuity

Melancholy

Perfect gift for a bride

You can gift it to someone with whom you have planned a meeting 

You can gift it to someone with whom you haven't planned a meeting, just to make them feel welcomed

True Friendship

See? It’s confused.

Aside from jokes, this variety of meanings is due to its great diffusion: since geraniums grow everywhere, every culture gave them a different meaning. And sometimes these meanings depend on the situation too.

Awww, isn't it perfect for Virgil? He can be good and bad at the same time. Anxiety can be bad for Thomas and detrimental for his life, but it can also be the alarm Thomas needs. It depends on the situation.

And, just like geraniums in general symbolize positive emotions, happiness and friendship, so Virgil is in general a good guy. All he does is for Thomas' wellbeing, not against him.

And this is confirmed by the vast use of geranium's essential oil. It's one of the most popular and it has a ton of properties: anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-depressant, decongestant, relaxing and so on. Just like our Virge boy can be incredibly useful under the right circumstances. (Did someone say "Flirting with social Anxiety"?)

Also, geraniums are simple, humble flowers that usually grow outside, but then we take them and make them part of our homes. Once again, it’s Virgil: he's an outsider, he's humble, he talks bad about himself - but Thomas and the others took him and made him part of the famILY anyway.

__________________________________

Thomas: Cherry blossom

I searched this flower everywhere and the only one that looks like the one on the shirt is the cherry blossom. Why did Thomas make a cherry blossom with eight petals, when they all have five? I have no idea. Is this a different flower, maybe? Maybe, but I’m done: I've looked at enough flowers and I don’t have any strength left.

As you probably already know, cherry blossoms are extremely important in Japan. They're beautiful, they're everywhere and they're meaningful.

Why? Because cherry blossoms are considered the perfect metaphor for human existence. When they blossom it's a pink ocean, a party, people go to admire them - but they’re short lived, because in two weeks, the blossoms start to fall. It's just like human life: a small, rich, glorious parenthesis in the void. Something little and precious that ends soon.

But cherry blossoms also symbolize rebirth, optimism, hopes and dreams. When they bloom, it means springtime is coming and spring has always been associated with renewal.

That’s a very good choice for character Thomas. He’s basically a cherry blossom, the whole series is: something that reminds us how beautiful life is, how multi-faceted, how important. Just like Thomas' single being encompasses seven different sides of himself, so life presents a wide range of choices, of aspects, of flavours. All beautiful, all worthy of appreciation, no matter how different they can be from you and your experience.

And this becomes even more important, in relation to the passage of time and the transience of life. Because life is short and, after that, there won't be any more time to appreciate anything.

In addition to that, I would like to point out how the theme of passage of time is something we already saw in the series. And not just one time, but several. Since the first season, we have episodes all around the concept of growing up, growing old, not being a child anymore, becoming an adult. And the last Aside keeps going in this direction. It's clear this is a big theme and its connection with the cherry blossoms proves it.

But why is the flower so different on the shirt? Because Thomas wanted to mess up with us? Probably. Almost certainly. Once again, thank you Mr. Sanders for making me question everything.

The floor is (figuratively) yours now: if you have any other information, thoughts or opinions, feel free to share them.

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

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[onmyyan]

Hi its me again. I love your writing and the fact that there isn't as much abuse like there is in others. It reminds me of old yandere stories were it was genuine lovesickness. Anyway, how do you think jjba yanderes would react to a darling that is taller and more muscular than them by quite a bit. You can do whoever you like I don't mind.

A/N: Omg ily🥺 it means a lot you said all that because I really love this genre it’s my comfort trope anyway thank you for the request n I hope ya like it!! Kira should be a trigger warning in an of itself but dw he’s just weird, not mean. Mentions of his past ‘girlfriends’, a curse word or two, lil suggestive in someplace’s Mista murks a few people, tw//gun violence

Characters: Pt2 Joseph, Josuke, Kira, Mista

Joseph was used to looking down on people, standing at a proud 6’5” he was literally and figuratively knocked on his ass when he’d first laid eyes on you, his immediate thought was you were a forgotten pillarman coming from nowhere to get revenge for your masters only to quickly realize you were just a stallion. You were strong enough to put him on his back after one too many cheeky comments. Unafraid to speak your mind and keep him in check, You would stare down at him with that mind melting smirk, all too aware of his frustrations, you assumed he was just being a man, ashamed to be outclassed by someone other than himself, oh honey how wrong you were. You enjoyed teasing the behemoth of a man as no one else really could, at least not as well as you did, throughout your little jabs and snark he always had a retort, a response on the tip of his tongue, eager to do this dance of yours until one of you broke, to you he was a way too cocky dangerously self assured pretty boy who was entertainingly easy to rile up, but to Joseph, you were his everything. Someone he could proudly take home to Granny Erina once he’d finally tamed you. He had a plan, a three step plan to steal your heart just as you’d done his, and this little game of who could annoy the other the most was just step 1. “It’s been fun JoJo but you’re gonna have to find someone else to bother.” You’d jokingly said one day out of the blue, an odd friendship had formed through the month you’d been in town and it felt wrong to leave without notice, an act of kindness you’d learn to regret. “Is this one of your famous jokes (Y/n)? Not so funny to play with a mans heart like that I nearly believed you.” He finished with a scoff, his signature smirk not reaching his eyes. “It’s true Joseph, my flight leaves tomorrow, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye, because as much as we fuck around you’re pretty fun to hang out with.” Your sincerity almost made him feel bad about rushing the next few steps of his plan, he’d have to cram months of planning into a night but he’d accomplished more with less time on his side. He huffed, his grin stretched wide across his handsome features. “Then we outta make tonight count eh?” A thick arm was tossed around your neck, you had to bend awkwardly for this to be possible much to your amusement. “Okay you weirdo, whatever you say.” You let him lead you around town with a grin, unaware you’d be missing that plane, and any other one you tried to take without him.

Josuke watched you eat with the dopiest grin on his face, he’d spent an extra hour in the mirror this morning in preparation for your first official date! Well you didn’t exactly know it it was a date and Okayasu was eating rather messily beside you two but still! You’d actually agreed to come to Toni’s with him! You’d been an enigma since you transferred to the bizarre town, choosing to keep to yourself, and despite the intimidating height and mass you possessed, he saw through your act in seconds. There was a huge softie under all that muscle, he’d watched you enough to know this as a fact, you were a gem and he was intent on showing you his appreciation and adoration for the rest of his days, a vow he’d silently taken the day you’d stolen his heart, the moment was brief in reality but it lasted forever in his mind, you smiled at him in passing, he could feel time slow down, everyone around you faded in the background, a backdrop to the beginning of your story. He could imagine telling your kids how you’d met, something about the way you’d stare down at him, eyes sharp and attentive, like you truly listened when people spoke, your laugh was loud when it was real and every time he heard it he felt 10 years added to his lifespan. At the same time that icky feeling at another person making you laugh was conflicting, he’d never been in love before but he suddenly understood why his mom had never given up on his dad, love was weird but he wouldn’t give it up for anything. You’d accidentally snapped your chopsticks laughing too hard at a joke he’d tossed out, your face scrunched in embarrassment before chuckling at yourself and switching to a fork, his stand came out on its own, pocketing the shards to fix later, a new item for his ever growing collection, what a cute little memento from your first date! His thoughts swirled happily with the stories you’d be telling your kids. Thankfully neither of you noticed his little pickpocket moment, dangerous plans forming as he stared at you with those misleadingly soft puppy dog eyes.

Kira could die in this moment, happily I might add, as your firm but soft hand was wrapped oh so deliciously around his throat threatening to crush it with ease at the slightest movement. He’d been watching you for a while now, the longest he’d ever spent on someone he didn’t plan to kill, it become sort of hobby he’d picked up recently, the morally upsetting activity bringing peace to his day to day, usually he used his stand to carefully observe your routine, eager to learn all he could about his future spouses likes and desires, but he was getting greedy. Of course he could always introduce himself but he resisted, knowing there was a time and place to get exactly what he wanted. He liked to think he knew everything about you by now, your favorite color, how you liked your coffee, your love for cats, but he didn’t anticipate this. You were much more observant than he’d given you credit for, while you couldn’t see his stand you could sense yourself being watched, and seeing the large blonde lurking indiscriminately in the crowds throughout the day was enough to set you off. So you trailed off into the less crowded parts of town quickly entering an alleyway, he followed in pure confusion only to be roughly slammed into the wall, his stand came out on reflex but simply stared at his attacker, it seemed almost confused as what to do. “Why the hell are you following me pretty boy?” His eyes rolled to the back of his head at the feel of your fingers tightening, god he’d never felt this rush of exhilaration, none of his past ‘girlfriends’ could pull such an illicit reaction from him with a simple touch. When he didn’t answer you simply scoffed and tossed him aside like it was nothing. You left with a threat to stay out of your sight, yet all he could do was smile, the faint imprint of your fingers burned in his skin deliciously, how lucky could one man get?

Mista observed you with hungry eyes. His stare was unapologetically locked on your form. He made no intention to hide his attraction for you. The day you’d joined Buccarati’s crew was the day his world flipped. He assumed his new teammate would be no one to fuck with based on what Bruno told him about your stand, but when you walked in? Needing to bend down slightly just to enter the doorway had him sweating in his seat. He didn’t know what to say as he watched you happily interact with his fellow teammates, immediately you blended with the group, but all that was running through his mind were all the fun things you could do with those muscles. He usually stayed silent around you, not out of dislike as one would assume from his piercing gaze, but fear of accidentally voicing one of those nasty thoughts kept him quiet. You didn’t seem to mind though, always including him in the conversation, you even understood his very valid fear of that dreaded number! How could god plop such a perfect person in his lap and expect him to not do anything about it? Alas, Bruno had specifically told them not to make you uncomfortable with any flirting so he bit his tongue. Your aura was calming, a contrast to your powerful stand, speaking of, he couldn’t get his under control. Whenever they could Sex Pistols was out and all over you. They climbed and clamored for your attention, thankfully you didn’t seem to mind, always entertained their antics when you could, even giving each one a small peck when they wouldn’t let you leave for a mission without Mista, to say he was done for was an understatement, it took one mission going foul for his resistance to snap. His stand moved faster than it ever had, piercing the skulls of the idiots who brought you pain. He left the last one slowly bleeding out kneeling down to wipe the matted hair from your forehead, “You okay baby? Don’t worry honey I’ll make the bastard hurt.” He spoke not breaking eye contact, his hand pointed behind him, grip steady as he unloaded in the poor fool who thought it was a good idea to make you bleed, the wound was small, not even deep enough to trouble Giorno but that didn’t matter to Guido, any slight against you was disrespecting the future parent of his children, and what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend your honor?

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #30 - The Cybertronian Judicial System is a Friggin’ Joke

Have I mentioned that I’m not a huge fan of court case stories? I think they’re pretty boring, on average, so the last couple of issues have been slightly dragging for me.

Anyway, back to Megatron’s trial. 

Our issue opens up with a full back shot of Ultra Magnus.

Artists take note, he really is built like a capital T.

As Magnus reads out Megatron’s statement retracting his “guilty” plea, we get some decent points as to why. See, telling a guy that you’ll stab him in the brain, so his trial can be over as quickly as possible, maybe isn’t such a hot idea. Megatron wasn’t a huge fan of that, or of how those memories they would’ve yanked outta him would have been used to fuel the Autobot propaganda machine. Why, you may ask?

Well, I don’t know if you knew this or not, but Megatron… doesn’t particularly care for the Autobots, nor the rhetoric they uphold.

I know, I was surprised too!

There’s also the fact that Optimus Prime is the judge on this whole thing. You know. Optimus Prime. Off and on leader of the Autobots, whenever it suits him. The guy who fucked off into space for a year after the war. The guy who threw a hissy fit when someone pointed out that he was compromised the last time they did something like this with Megatron. This guy:

Yeah, there might be a slight conflict of interests here. Remind me again why this had to be a military trial?

Anyway, enough of that, it’s time for a fight scene.

A swarm of Decepticons storm the arena, going after Megatron so they can help him escape. Magnus, though acting as Megatron’s defense, cannot abide by this disorder in the court.

Wild to think there’s a tiny little Pringles man with anxiety in there, isn’t it?

Optimus joins the fray, because there really are, just, so many guys to deal with here. A dude goes to collect Megatron, stating that they brought teleport packs for this little shindig. Megatron isn’t super jazzed about that though, not bothering to grab on before the dude gets shot to death. There’s a brief recess, I guess so the janitorial staff can deal with the mess of corpses littering the courtroom.

Meanwhile, in the present day, Rung’s building a model spaceship in Swerve’s, which is a very brave thing to be doing, seeing how sticky and gross bars can be. Brainstorm’s brought a flask to the bar, and proceeds to pour the contents into a funnel sticking out of his arm.

Our bartender for the evening- I’m assuming it’s evening, but I doubt the concept of time has any real weight in space- is Bluestreak. Bluestreak was stationed on Earth for a while, which is some Phase One stuff, and took a liking to human media while he was there. He’s the guy who handles movie night these days, seeing as Rewind’s too busy being dead to do it, and I doubt Chromedome has the emotional bandwidth to take over for his late spouse.

Bluestreak’s favorite movie is Zulu, a film glorifying the colonialism of the English over the native populace of an African kingdom. Make of that what you will.

Whirl wants to watch À Bout de Soufflé, or Breathless, as it was translated for the English-speaking world, which is a French New Wave film about a criminal who shoots a cop, hides from the police in a journalist’s home, who he seduces and likely impregnates. She eventually finds out what he did, reports him to the police, but then has a change of heart and lets him know what she’s done. He runs, but is shot, and dies in the street. The film is notable for its final scene, in which the following dialogue happens, between the dying criminal Michael, his lover Patricia, and an officer.

Of course, any poignancy would almost certainly be lost on the average comic book reader, and is also somewhat nullified by Whirl praising the film with internet lingo.

Then again, I suppose Whirl would be the type to dismantle any deeper reading of his interest in such a film, lest he be subjected to the horrifying ordeal of being known.

Over with Skids and Riptide, it’s revealed that Megatron’s been teaching classes on the Lost Light, specifically on the Knights of Cybertron. Riptide’s getting an education, because he’s been feeling pretty lost since the war ended- we’ll get to the potential whys of that later on. Swerve isn’t a fan of this community college thing that’s going on, stating that Megatron’s using it as a distraction, so he can devise plots most foul.

Back in the past, Autobot high command is having a talk about what Megatron’s demanding, and man is it a doozy— turns out, since the trial’s happening on Luna 2, the trial proceedings are subject to the laws of the moon. One of these moon laws is the right to request being judged by the Knights of Cybertron. Now, this is a problem, seeing as the Knights of Cybertron have been AWOL for the last several million years, but the law is the law, and you can’t just go ignoring it when someone’s pointed it out.

Bro, your SIC just suggested y’all pull the trial so you could slap it on Cybertron, thus negating any need to pay attention to the Knight law. That’s such a gross miscarrying of justice, it’s genuinely baffling. You’ve got bigger issues going on than flouting. My god, Optimus, you were a cop—

Oh wait, that’s right. Carry on, then.

Back on the Lost Light, First Aid’s checking to make sure that the coffin Rodimus they revealed last issue is true and proper dead. Now, this may seem like a given, but you’ve got to remember that Brainstorm was mostly dead for over a year and a half, and nobody fucking noticed, so it’s probably for the best that they’re checking.

First Aid’s been pretty withdrawn since Ambulon died, so this autopsy is really good for him, since it got him out of his room. Pretty fucked up that it would take a dead body to get him out and about. Has Rung checked in on his poor son of a gun, or has he been spending the last six months getting his professional rocks off psychoanalyzing a genocidal warlord?

Our coffin Rodimus died from having parts of his brain removed, and potentially died screaming.

Yes, that is a Furmanism, thank you peanut gallery, moving on—

Ratchet hands the phone over to Ultra Magnus, saying that a call has to be made, and it can’t be by him, because the callee is mighty upset with Ratchet at the moment.

Oh, I guess he’s fine after all. This must be where the sci-fi bullshit really starts kicking in for the series.

Because seeing your own dead body is likely very traumatic and awful, Rodimus is taking a while to string together his thoughts on the matter. Megatron doesn’t particularly care, because he’s not terribly sympathetic to this sort of thing, and the two get into a spat, where it’s revealed that they’re co-captaining the Lost Light.

Because things weren’t chaotic enough on this fucking ship. Need to mix in some peacocking between the McDonalds twunk and the man who killed half of Beijing.

Back in the past, Optimus Prime visited Megatron in prison to have a little chat. It’s not about that little rescue attempt, though the fact that those Decepticons may have been released from the Lost Light’s brig is certainly interesting. No, Optimus is here to sit way too close to his mortal nemesis on the floor of his room and talk about how Megatron is a sneaky bastard.

You remember the Hellraiser puzzle box from a couple issues back? Yeah, that was a communicube, one that was passed to Optimus to suggest that the trial be held on the moon, so the arena there would be able to hold all the people wronged by Megatron. This seems pretty damn convenient in hindsight, but Megatron swears that the legal loophole wasn’t his only intent when he sent the cube.

Because it’s all about you, isn’t it, Megatron? It’s all about how you’re perceived by future generations. Fuck the guys who had to actually deal with what your personal choices caused to happen.

Megatron wants to make amends with all those who were wronged by him. This doesn’t include being acquitted of his crimes, which, y’know, good- at least he’s being slightly realistic about how this is going to turn out for him.

What he wants to do is find Cyberutopia, so the Cybertronians have a replacement planet, since Cybertron kind of sucks now.

Oh, sorry, did I say realistic? I take it back.

In the present, Rodimus is still bummed out about being dead. Still, the day doesn’t stop just because it’s a bad one, and he calls in the experts.

CHROMEDOME YOU PROMISED TO STOP THIS SHIT

Yeah, no, Chromedome’s fallen off the wagon again, and does his thing on the coffin Rodimus. As he does, Megatron suddenly gets squeamish, Brainstorm pulls out his early early-warning device to lean on the fourth wall, and it’s revealed that the coffin that coffin Rodimus was in was built in the fashion of the Spectralist faith.

All Chromedome can suss out of coffin Rodimus’ memories is the really big important stuff, which includes the speech at Rivet’s Field inviting folks to come join the Knight Quest. Aww, that’s sweet.

With the analysis of the innermost energon complete, the results are in— the coffin Rodimus is a Rodimus. A real one, from the near future. Bummer.

I suppose denial is one of the seven stages of grief, isn’t it?

As everyone argues over whether or not Rodimus is going to die, Nightbeat brings up a good point— there aren’t any numbers carved into the coffin Rodimus’ hand. Rodimus is about to reveal some Ratchet-original wisdom, when things start getting really weird; whole sections of the Lost Light are disappearing.

Over at Swerve’s, Tailgate is regaling his peers with the story of his derring-do against Chief Justice Tyrest. Everyone is very impressed, and this includes our good buddy Getaway.

Jeez, think you’ve got enough antagonist shadows on this guy? It’s almost as if the art’s trying to tell us something about him.

Getaway lays it on real thick, saying that Tailgate could totally be the next Prime, with how courageous and awesome he is, all while completely ignoring Tailgate’s personal space and having a weirdly tiny hand. This seems to seriously bother Cyclonus, who is watching this shit go down from the doorway. Our purple space jet leaves once the drinks start being poured and conversation starts happening. God knows he hates talking about his insecurities.

Then the Pipes is Friggin’ Dead alarm goes off. But Pipes has been dead for a while now, so that must mean something else awful is happening.

Back during the trial, I guess because Optimus has a soft spot for Megatron, he allows him to join the Lost Light’s Knight Quest… even as he says that he could keep the guy locked up until Rodimus and pals find the Knights. However, there are rules to this, and one of the rules is that Megatron must publicly denounce the Decepticon cause.

It is a slow and painful experience for everyone involved, as he reads the statement he was given. It’s an immediate call to action- or rather, inaction.

Geez, think they could’ve made it any more obvious that this was being ghostwritten? I can’t wait to see how long it takes for “Megatron was blackmailed into saying this by the Autobots” to be a plotpoint.

Outside the prison, Ratchet and Rodimus are taking in the brand new Rod Pod, which is genuinely ridiculous in how large it is. Rodimus admits to having taken Atomizer’s list, though he knows that trying to use it to keep those who voted him off would be a pretty shitty thing to do.

Also, no one’s told him about Megatron coming along on the trip. As captain.

Or you could, I dunno, lock him up from the start. Or, if you want to give him a chance to prove himself, slap him into a bottom-rung role, like bilge cleaner, or sewage mucker, or whatever the equivalent would be on a spaceship full of giant gay robots. We don’t have to give the guy any power to hold him to scrutiny— any minimum wage worker will tell you that scrutiny comes far harsher for those who actually carry out orders than those who give them.

But what do I know? I’ve never fought in a several million year war, and I don’t plan to.

Getting back to the list, it seems as if Ratchet and Rodimus are on the same wavelength, in that both agree it’s only going to cause trouble and hurt feelings to keep the thing around. Rodimus destroys it with his usual flare, only to be blindsided by the fact that it was fake this entire time. How does Ratchet know this?

Because his name wasn’t on it.

...Man, that’s gotta sting. No wonder Rodimus was upset enough to not take his calls.

In the present, everyone’s in a panic, as they all bolt for the shuttle bay and start pouring into shuttles. The Lost Light is disintegrating around them, which is sort of a problem. Despite this nightmare scenario happening, Rodimus and Megatron still find the time to be assholes to each other. That’s dedication right there.

As the two bicker, multiple shuttles zip away from the rapidly disappearing ship, including the Rod Pod.

Man, now it really is the Lost Light.

[caxsthetic]

With Bond

Miya Atsumu x F!Reader

Summary: The benefit of knowing him since high school, was how you knew every little thing that he needed. You could solve all of his problems, watching his back on every single move. But this one particular issue? You need someone else to back you up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. STUCK WITH YOU MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I don't want to live anymore..!"

It had been the most torturous forty minutes of your life.

"I didn't get the number that I wanted, they messed it up!"

He whined, and whined, and whined.

"What did I do in my past life to be treated like this?"

And there you were anyway, listening to every word that spilled from his lips as you sat across from him. By breathing in the steam from the cup of coffee in your hand, at least the circumstance became a little bit—bearable, to say the least.

"Atsumu, dear, I love you. But my ears are going to bleed if you whined just one more time." To the world he was that one person who never once looked like a clown. Perfect hair, pretty face, megawatt smile, picturesque man that every woman wanted to have and every male population wanted to be, "Have you talked to the club about this?"

"Ngh, no?" How in the world did I agree to be his girlfriend in the first place. You let out a sigh and put down the cup of coffee on the kitchen counter, "There's nothing I could do once I got the jersey number, (Y/n). It's not Jackals anymore, it's a goddamn national!"

He had been so giddy ever since he became one of the setters to the Japan National team. It was great with how he didn't feel butthurt for becoming the benchwarmer (Though he would grumble under his breath every time Kageyama popped on the television screen).

Ever since he confirmed his jersey number with the association, he always spent his time sitting on the terrace. Hoping that his jersey would appear miraculously in a matter of second.

Today, he finally got it. And when you heard him scream (Wailing to be exact) on the outside, you knew for sure that something wasn't right.

"It's not his number, (Y/n)..." His nosy whining was now died down, replaced with a sad baby phase, "How can I face Samu, now? I don't want him to think that I forget about him!"

It was incredible actually—how he always thought about his brother. As much as he told the whole world how he wished he was born without a carbon copy of himself, deep down, he loved his brother with all of his heart.

"Isn't it supposed to be a surprise?" You stood up and walked towards your boyfriend, "He didn't know, right? That you were going to use his High School number?"

"He didn't know..." He huffed and grabbed your hand when you were finally near, "I am sad..." You could only chuckle at this, "The match is next week. It's sad enough that he couldn't watch it in the stadium, and now this..."

You knew how important the game would be for him. He had been running in the same direction since childhood. And even though he lost someone in the middle of his journey, he still continued the dream.

"Hey, now." You pulled him towards you, resting his head on your chest while your fingers roamed in the strands of his hair, "How about we take a break? Maybe a date? Let's just get your mind off—things."

He looked up at you, golden brown orbs gazing at your face with admiration as if you just declared him as the best setter in the world (He was indeed the best setter for you, but you were not in the mood to meet his cocky self).

"Ooohh, where will we go?" You chuckled softly from how excited he sounded just now. Your fingers stroking on his now better coloured hair—unlike his high school one—setting the fringe up.

"That's for me to know and for you to find out, Atsumu."

He was so so eager, looking so innocent as he buried his face on your chest once again. Not knowing what laid for him in the future.

»»————-　♔　————-««

"I regret shit."

"Uhuh, of course you do, Atsumu."

"How could you do this to me?!"

"Don't be such a wimp and shut yer trap!"

He swallowed a huge lump, a thin layer of sweats already glazed his forehead due to the nervousness. When you said you were going to take his mind off things, he didn't expect you to lead him here.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please wear your seatbelts right away." The announcement from the speaker made him more agitated than before.

"(Y/n), I don't want to die. Please, please, I don't want to do this." You snorted from his exclaim, he was always—dramatic. "Can we go back to the merry-go-round, please?"

"You are a twenty-six years old man, Atsumu. Man up!" Your statement only answered with a groan, "Come on, let me check your seatbelts." Both of you were now in the front row—of a rollercoaster.

"Baby, if I die, I want you to know that I love you so much but at the same time I want to throw you on a gutter." He said it with the sulky tone, "Why do you always bully me, (Y/n)? Samu is enough."

"That’s how Osamu and I showed our love for you, you big baby." You booped his nose with your index finger before positioning yourself once again, "Come on, Atsumu, don't pout like that."

Since both of you came to the amusement park, you noticed how people glanced towards your direction. Well, if you had a famous setter wearing a casual sweatshirt as your boyfriend, you have to prepare for all the stares—and sometimes the glare, "Atsumu, look!"

You grabbed his chin and directed it to the horde of the crowd who had their phones up, camera rolling to record every movement and expression of the national's setter, "Smile for the camera, dear!"

"I am going to wreck you tonight for doing this to me." He spitted the words under his breath,

"That’s if you survive."

"I fucking will."

»»————-　♔　————-««

Well, he was not, at least not completely.

"There, there, baby." You have been patting his back for five minutes now, "Do you need water again? I am sorry, I will treat you to any place that you want after this..."

Concerned lingering in every word that you spilt. His face was incredibly pale once he got down from the rollercoasters, and when he suddenly ran behind a tenant, you knew something wasn't right.

He grabbed the water bottle from your hand, gulping it down to erase the taste of a nightmare from his throat.

"Please don't ask me to ride it again." The setter asked you with a genuine plea, "I swear if you are not there to grab my hand, I would see my soul fly away."

You frowned at this and engulfed him in a big hug. Yes, it was fun at first, with how loud he could be when he complained about almost anything (Just like a baby). But never once you would want to see him like this,

"I am sorry, Atsumu..." You muttered softly, and within seconds, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, enjoying the comfort that you radiate, "Let me make up for it, okay? How about lunch? I know a place that you would really love."

He didn't answer you, nodding softly and just pulled your body closer with him. You couldn't blame your boyfriend from becoming like a lifeless corpse since you were practically the cause of it, "Then let's go."

You eyed the area around you, trying to sneak out from the prying eyes of his fans. With hands interlaced with him, you strolled the amusement park as subtle as ever. When you walked, you could feel how sweaty his hands were—and goddamn it broke your heart because you were the cause of it.

"Oh my god, that's Miya Atsumu!"

"W-What? The setter?!"

"Take a picture, take a picture! OMG who is that ugly woman?"

You tried to ignore all of the murmur around you, and for that you decided to walk faster. Still, that last line you heard stung your heart (Even if you have heard it all the time), you just wanted to get away from this place and get your boyfriend to safety.

But Atsumu noticed something amiss from your expression,

"Shut it, you pigs!" You got pulled by him when he suddenly turned his head towards the woman, "Look at yourself first if you're ever going to insult someone!" He scoffed one last time before dragging you away, "Come on, I hate it here more than anything now."

Your eyes widened as you saw the annoyed facade that plastered on his face. It was rare for him to actually snap—he grew so much since high school after all. But one thing, one thing that he wouldn't let it slide was when you or people that he held dear in his life, insulted.

"Atsumu..."

You called out to him, wanting to catch his attention, "Atsumu, dear..."

When the two of you finally arrived at the parking lot, that was when he faced you. You could see the pained and rage in his orbs, swirling there as his mind replayed the words that he heard before.

"Hey, baby." Your voice sounded so delicate, angelic even in his ear, "Thank you for standing up for me." Your thumb grazed the back of his hand. And from the little gesture, his orbs gradually filled with a warmth gaze, "You are the best boyfriend that I could ever ask."

He snorted and rolled his eyes from the praise, a contrast to how his lips shaped into a sweet smile,

"You know I always hate it when people hate you for no reason." It was not the first time you received such words. But even though you started to get used to it, he never once would be, "No one. I swear no one. Could insult you right in front of me and didn't get a taste of spite."

He was rarely being sweet—if you had to be honest. Your relationship with him filled with banter and jokes (And some innuendo here and there). So when he acted like this, you always savoured the moment, imprinted every movement, every word, every flutter of his lashes—deep inside your heart.

"Alright, alright." You answered him, and he leaned his head closer to yours. Knowing what he was going to do, you shut your eyes, and when his lips met with the soft skin of your forehead, a wide smile emerged on your complexion, "I love you, Atsumu."

"I love you too, my pretty bully."

»»————-　♔　————-««

You flickered your gaze between the road in front of you to your boyfriend who was incredibly quiet for the whole ride. You thought going out and having one hell of a day could distract him. But when all of the crazy events were done, it was back to square one.

He knew how he acted right now made the woman that he loves worried. Yet, he could not help but think about the match with Argentina next week. He planned everything for that day. From how he would show his brother that he was there with him, to a plan that he had for you at the end of the game.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, 'Tsumu, but I couldn't be there." A frown slipped on his facade in an instant. The setter thought that he would have his brother by his side when he was at one of the biggest milestones of his volleyball career, "Hello? ‘Tsumu, you there?"

"Yeah, yeah." You leaned your body on the door frame, listening in to the conversation that you knew—didn't turn up good for your boyfriend, "Yeah, I get it. That's alright. That's fine, Samu."

After he hung up, you could see how the giddy smile that once spread on his face, now replaced with a solemn expression. His eyes never leave the screen which darkened gradually, scrutinizing the picture that was taken on one of his games with Schweiden Adlers. A picture of him with the owner of Onigiri Miya.

"He couldn't come." He said with a low tone as the screen blacked out completely, "Things about meeting and such with some business partner from overseas. Expanding Onigiri Miya to another country."

But even though he was hurt by the fact that his twin wouldn't be there physically with him on his first game as national's setter, his words coated with something else. Because through his eyes—he could see that the two of them were basically at one of the biggest milestones. Even when they were on a different path,

They were winning in life today.

The gloomy look from before was gone as a smirk appeared on his face. His eyes twinkled with excitement with pride burned on his orbs. Then he turned to look at you, lips shaped into a broad grin,

"He's awesome isn't it?"

He chuckled under his breath, staring outside the window car as he replayed the information that he got a few days ago. But then he sighed once again when his mind went back to the jersey's number that he got, making him grumble.

"Atsumu, we are home."

"I know."

He didn't. He was actually too lost in his own thought he didn't realise that you already parked the car on the driveway. You unclasped his seat belts after doing yours, resulting in him to turn his face on you, a genuine smile on his face.

There was no need for you to do that, but it was just a habit of yours to spoil him here and there. A little gesture that was so simple it was unnecessary but gave so much impact in his heart, "Thank you."

"You are welcome," You leaned in and kissed his cheek shortly, bringing a flutter of butterflies to storm inside his stomach. His cheek tinted with pinkish hue after that as he shook his head, still abashed once in a while when he received an affectionate gesture from you.

You got down from the car first, leaving him to settle down his feelings that still branched out all over the place. His gaze trailed on your figure that was now gone behind the front door. You were an angel in his eyes, someone that always stayed for him, no matter how antics he was.

To found you and actually have a chance with you was a blessing for him, and you were one of the things that he never wanted to trade with anything. I should stop being a burden, he thought, realising how childish he acted since yesterday he received the cursed jersey.

With a new mindset, he got down from the car and ran inside, wanting to just engulf you in a hug. He wanted to embrace you, pampering your face with lots of kisses for staying, and for god sake he couldn't wait for the match because by then—hopefully—you would agree to be his forever.

"You stupid, I told you that I put the key on the second pot!" But he didn't expect to hear you having a conversation with someone,

Atsumu tiptoed as he made sure to close the front door carefully, wondering who could make you laugh as beautiful as that. And when he popped his head to the kitchen, his pupil dilated as his gaze fell to the exact copy of him.

There was a different spark in his eyes the second he laid his eyes on the black haired man. His mouth agape, too starstruck as he just stood there with a stupid look on his face,

"W-What the fuck are you doing here?!" Something that couldn't be mistaken from his shout was excitement, and you were there sharing a look with his twin and chuckled from his outburst. Realising how he acted just now, the setter immediately cleared his throat and calmed himself down; at least he tried to, "I mean, what are you doing here?"

Osamu raised one of his eyebrows playfully, a hand rested on his hips as he stared at the national's volleyball player,

"A little bird told me that you were sulking and she needed my assistance to make sure you were back to your usual self." His words dripped with smugness as he looking down at the groaning man in front of him,

"Duh, both of you would only bully me at the end."

"That's exactly our job."

"Grr..."

But despite the complaints that rolled from your boyfriend's lips, there was a grateful gaze on his eyes as he looked at you. He was too shy—no, not shy. He was too prideful to ask for his brother's presence. Even if he needed it so badly, he would just sulking and whining, literally do nothing.

"Okay, boys. Go out to play some volleyball, I am taking care of the kitchen for today." So as someone who knew him for a long time, you were ready to do things for him as long as he was happy. You were ready, to be there pushing him forward and got his back.

"Thank you so much," He ran up to you, pushing his brother aside and engulfing you in a big hug. Lips close to your ear as he whispered, "Thank you for everything."

And he would be forever grateful, to have you in his life.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Today was the day, the big day for him and the entire monster generation—ah, the nickname which he got from his ex-captain that he respected so much. Thrill and excitement surrounded the entire stadium as cheers and shout never once died down. Filling his lungs with remarkable energy.

"Hoi, Atsumu." The athletic trainer of the national team called him as the entire team prepared themselves in the changing room, "Catch this."

"What-"

He was not ready to retrieve anything as a plastic bag being thrown towards him, greeting his face at the process, "-The fuck!" He whined, making the entire team to snicker; and for Sakusa to cringe hard.

Atsumu rolled his eyes and fetched the bag from the floor, eyeing it with confusion written in his eyes, "Huh? Why did you give me this jersey? I already had one." He opened up the seal,

And he couldn't help but let out a small gasp.

"Oh, your wife called and told me that we printed you the wrong number."

Wife. How the words rolled down from someone else's tongue sounded so beautiful as he heard it.

In his hand, there was a brand new jersey that was still fresh from the production house. It was the same with what he wore right now. Red coloured fabric and soft texture. The only difference? The number that printed large in the chest.

It was eleven.

"You better wife her now, Atsumu." He flinched a little when he heard Ojiro's voice beside him, "The two of you had been together since high school anyway. Don't tell me you still worried that someday she would leave?"

Ah, him in the past was incredibly stupid—and it actually got worse by time. He used to talk to either Kita or Ojiro about his feelings for you. About how he didn't deserve to be with someone who literally could have anyone with how caring and thoughtful you were from the start.

But you chose him. You chose him before, you chose him now, and you swore you would choose him over and over again.

"Aran-kun," He called out to his senpai with a determined look on his face, "How long did we have before the match started?" He took off his jersey,

"Hm?" The wing spikers looked at the clock, "We have fifteen minutes, why?"

"That's enough." The platinum blonde setter was now wearing the new jersey, and somehow, he felt powerful. As if he was not alone as he grabbed a little box from his locker, "You were right, Aran-kun."

"What was right?" Everyone was now eyeing the interaction between the two. Curiosity playing in each of their orbs, wondering the reason behind the setter's sudden change of behaviour.

Atsumu stared at the box in his hand as a genuine smile emerged on his face. It was lightweight, but he felt like he had the entire universe in his hand at the moment. Because it was exactly how it is. Because the box held his possible future. A future that he wanted to have only if you were there with him.

He turned towards Ojiro before resting one of his hands on the shoulder of his teammates, patting it softly.

"I better wife her up now."

And in just a split second, Miya Atsumu dashed away from the locker room, ignoring all the shouts and cheers from his teammates. He sped up, running without a care in this world as his mind only filled with a thought of you.

He ignored all the confused glance that was being thrown towards him, ignoring all the squeal and scream from people that he walked past to. He didn't feel nervous, not even a slightest as he finally set his foot on the VIP bleachers where you sat.

But he was starstruck. He saw you there with his old jersey that was tucked under a simple pair of jeans, looking as magnificent as ever. His focus was all for you, he didn't care how the commentator called out to him, he didn't care when the camera zoomed on his face and followed his every move.

He walked up to you with confidence radiated from him. And you, you could always sense when he was in the same room with you. You whipped your head towards his direction, eyes widened as you didn't expect to see him right now.

"Atsumu, what are you doing?"

You asked, and just like any other day it filled with love and adoration. He didn't feel nervous before, but now as he stood right in front of you, that was when all of the realisation dropped upon him.

What if you say no?

What if you wouldn't look at him?

What if you didn't like all of the attention?

But all of a sudden, the worry that he had in his mind vanished into a thin air. You could do this, It was as if someone whispered in his ear, Come on, dumbass, she's waiting, It was as if he could feel one comforting hand patted his back at this very moment, Go get your girl.

And now he was ready,

"Be mine forever, (Y/n)."

From how tears glossed your eyes, how you clamped your mouth with your hand, how you let out a sob. And from the nod of your head that you gave to him,

He was sure that he was winning in life today, and any other day as long as he had you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶     *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

I dedicated this fic to @gulfwanq​ who I always ship with this baby Miya Atsumu even though she dick hop to a lot of guys.

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[ishouldgay]

(Long rant Anon!)

Hey, everyone is entitled to their opinion, no worries truly! And I perfectly understand not liking a character, it's absolutely fine too. Don't feel obligated to answer either, you do you if course. Your blog, your space and all that. :)

Sorry if I came accross a bit tonedeaf, I'm just very curious, very neurodivergent and trying to understand trains of thoughts that are completely foreign to me (in a foreign language for maximum confusion). By the way, how were his actions in any way short sighted? Or truly selfish? I don't see it at all and I'm genuinely somewhat floored reading that.

The abuses of the Templars / Chantry have been going on for litteral centuries. All the Mages currently alive under Chantry Dominion have experienced it. They have seen all their peaceful pleas and protest be repressed in blood for hundreds and hundreds of years. (Again, like the Elves). They obey, they die. The disobey, they die. What is there to do, then? (Genuine question there !) Something like that was very much bound to happen, it kinda happened all around the world for most of human history IRL, that would make perfect sense for fictional people to react that way too. What would you do in their stead? (Again genuine question.) They just want to live. That's it. They want to be allowed to be alive. And there is, at this point of the story, absolutely no hope for them at all to ever be allowed do that.

Personaly it makes perfect sense to rebel as well if the cult who kidnapped me, emprisoned me, tortured me, decided I ultimately didn't deserve to live becauuuse... Fuck off for being born? And then they sent in the deathsquads, because sense of proportions I guess. That situation is completely insane when you think about it... Makes you wonder, if the Chantry allowed all the Circles to be like the Dairsmuid one, there would probably none of the Rebellion happening... What the fucking fuck could we possibly do in Kirkwall's mages stead, seriously and genuinely asking, again : run and hide? Knowing we were leaving everyone else to die? Take a purely symbolic last stand for the whole world to see and die with them (that's what Anders did/wanted to do)? Knowing it won't likely change anything but it might give a tiny shred of Hope to someone, somewhere else, watching, that the Chantry isn't as intouchable as it pretends? (Now that I thought about it, I can't help but see the parallels with the Rebels from StarWars. Why didn't I see that before?!) I would probably refuse as well, to go quietly into the night. (Maybe it's because I'm part of an oppressed minority so I can feel it so clearly? Honestly dunno.) To just letting myself get killed by the Chantry and have my already miserable existence reduced to nothing at all... All the lives of my (hypothetical) people? Sounds so wrong. And I'm not even remotely as strong as Anders. I would have definitely killed myself when the Templars pressured me too. If life didn't hold any significance, could death yet do? Hm. (Which I realize is actually a very central theme in StarWars too, rising against an inescapable terrible enemy despite having like 0.1% chance to win but still going for it, for the far off chance it might spark some hope elsewhere? Uhh interesting. Rogue One very much. But I digress again.)

If Anders blowing up the Chantry and killing x number of people in the process makes him worthy of the death penalty, then following that logic, at the very very least I believe the Divine, Isabella and Celene should be immediatly exectued as well for doing far worse than Anders. (Thankfully, some do get just that coming and Isabella get to have a redemption arcs in the comics.) (Damn there is a huge amount of characters murdering innocents in that saga isn't it?)

And considering that the Chantry has been wiping out entire cultures (just like Tevinter or the Qun) murdering at the very least tens of thousands of people, likely a lot more through the ages... Even over a million doesn't even seem that irrealistic at this point honestly. (Like, litteraly, under the span of the games, which is around a decade and a half, the Chantry kills right before our eyes several thousands of people. True, it's not in one single action, which seems to be a point of importance in your argument that I genuinely don't get? It doesn't make all those innocent victims any less murdered? [Am I missing the point here? Hm.] Could even be argued it's worse since they do it repetively and remorselessly, at least 3 genocides in 15years, that's a LOT and that's just for the shit we witness and know about. I can't even imagine what the Exalted Marches were like with Chantry Fanatics being told they get to have "a special place in heaven right next to the Maker" if they go exterminate people in the Chantry's name. 😬😬 Well, yes, I guess I can imagine since it's the Crusades. But I digress yet again sorry.)

I’m fully pro mages the entire time, but honestly? Every Organization in DA sucks. Every single one has some kind of awful Secret or they spurn someone or something.

Remember, most Chantry policy was a reaction to a magic base empire that enslaved more people than the Chantry ever did. The common man fears mages for a reason. We outside Thedas can safely sit outside with all the information available and say mages shouldn’t be treated this way for all these reasons but not only have 90% of people in Thedas not met a mage have been told they can turn into demons at anytime, which they can, but compared to a lot of people? Circles can actually be better.

Now this isn’t true of all circles but I feel like Sera’s banter with, I believe Dorian, summed it up well with her saying, and I’m paraphrasing here, ‘it might suck but they get three meals a day and don’t die in the streets’. I know that doesn’t make up for the fact that abuse does happen, of course, but none the less most mages were taken care of better than common folks were.

Vivienne’s banter and conversations are interesting because she often talks about how mages were being abused yet not every circle was the same in that regard and how that was only part of the reason the vote to break down the circles was so close. She also pushes for someone to watch over mages because again, mages have powers that make them extremely dangerous.

And here’s my real problem with Anders and why I wouldn’t ever put Isabela on the same level:

Isabela failed to tell Hawke that she knew why the Qunari are in Kirkwall or that she is the cause. But she isn’t the Direct cause of the Qunari attacking the city, they had just gotten sick of being there and Kirkwall sucked so fucking much that they decided that taking over the city was a good idea at that point. Isabela also can return the book if Hawke befriended her. Yes she still shouldn’t have done any of that but she had her reasons and she still can be turned around.

Anders’s blowing up the Chantry helped a grand total of zero people. Chantry backed or not it was the Templars that were doing the abuse. If he has decided to blow up the Templars HQ? I probably wouldn’t be as mad because that’s a Direct action on the people doing the actual harm but instead Anders wanted ‘ no peace’ and murdered people to do it. He didn’t think about the mages he was putting in danger or he thought that their deaths were worth it. If Hawke doesn’t side with the mages? They all die because Anders decided he wanted his war NOW. He wanted to rebel NOW. He had no contact with any circle about how they would probably face awful backlash but again he either didn’t care or thought it was worth it. Honestly by the end it felt like he wanted to punish the Chantry more than he wanted to protect his fellow mages and there is nothing Hawke can do to change his mind. (Depending of play style) Hawke is bending over backwards to try and keep mages safe because either Hawke’s sister is a mage or Hawke is a mage but Anders doesn’t care and tries to start a war where mages are out numbered 100 to 1.

And Again it doesn’t matter that we the players can see that the Chantry sucks. Anders blowing up the Chantry only made the fear about mages even stronger than what it was and made even less people want to help them when not a whole lot ever wanted to help anyway.



[bro-strider-hate-blog]

YOUR TAGS ON MY SIS POST??? IMMACULATE

I will include my tags again but only because i cant get enough of myself and not to sound like im tooting my own kazoo but this is the one time in my entire life that ive been objectively correct in every way

Lengthy and unrelated thing under the cut: 

Let me talk about canon bro for a second 😌 even though its barely and tangentially related to this and you dont have to read it <3, in fact i would encourage you not to read it i just wanna run my mouth. People love to use him as a cheap villain in their dave angst fics which is like... hilarious to me. Like i get it, since hes abusive he must also be misogynistic and homophobic and transphobic and also genuinely hates dave and revels in his suffering right? Lmeow no, hes just some guy and despite everything he is in fact trying his best. Hes naturally intense and aggressive and this doesnt translate well to child rearing, especially since his one goal is to make dave strong enough (physically and mentally) to Survive whats coming. The random sneak attacks ? The traps littered around the house ? To keep dave on his toes and buff his spatial awareness. The cameras ? To monitor his progress (if hes not up to standard then we’ll just up the “training”) and / or film some puppet snuff (puff ? Snupp?) so he can keep running his dumb website and like provide for them or some shit , or ig to buy random crap and throw it around the house. Who cares if the kid sees the porn anyway its just puppets, plus hes seen way worse at that age and turned out fine (no he didnt). Dave has to be resourceful , he has to be creative and think on his feet , lets have impromptu rap battles and scrabble games. He has to know numbers like the back of his hand (idk why this is even a phrase do any of you memorise what the back of your hands looks like) to effectively utilise his sylladex.... actually nobody even uses that shit idk why bro was so insistent on it. Dave is his protege, his charge, dave is NOT his friend and hes not gonna let him forget that. He teaches him all he knows, in the way he knows. Making comics, mixing music, ironic jokes, being cool and getting shit done. Actually its GOOD that the kid is terrified of him, if hes the scariest thing in the room then dave wont fear anything else. Lets spar then, if dave wins then hes trained him well. If dave loses then hell become resilient. Either way he has to be strong or else hell die, training is necessary. Its either this or failure and failure equals death. Do your own laundry, ration your own food, become independent as fast as possible because i wont be around to take care of you forever

Nothing bro does is without reason, neither is it “sadism”, its all very logical to him despite being horrific to any sane person because his only friend is the mansplain-manipulate-manspread puppet that raised him and he has awful coping mechanisms that barely stretch past beating himself 1. up 2. off. Like he kept his baby alive to the point where it could keep itself alive (kind of alive) and thats a win to him.

That was my thesis on why bro is not a bigot like ,, he makes porn of fucking smuppets, that gives him zero chance to fetishize The Ladies. I doubt he has porno mags littered around the house its just endless plushie dicks and asses (and the two puppets handcuffed together were legit kinda funny like Why). So why would dave have internalised homophobia if it did not stem from his brother ??? Acting as if his only friends werent exuding anti gay vibes, like christ, john “im not a homosexual” egbert, him and rose’s competitive flirting gag (before they found out they were related >.>), just generally the three of them accusing each other of being gay, yknow, as kids do (jade is exempt from the argument we love jade here). Things were just more homophobic back then and its not like bro and dave had a sincere talk about gender and sexuality in the 13 or so years they lived in the same house like why would you even come out to your younger sibling if you could just not !!! Lol !!! I could be getting all this info wrong lol so correct me if im wrong but bro has this cute comic artstyle and it was about someones charge (? Sibling?) straight up dying and the saw guy makes an appearance the end , like there was no sex or gore or whatever but if you look at sbahj the second page literally has an incest sex joke like where does dave even get his material from , which online sites has he been trawling , well haha its not bros job to monitor his kids search history lets ignore it and move on if the kid wants to be gross and make dumb jokes who is he to judge , spread your problematic wings and soar into the cancel clouds little guy

Anyway heres a disclaimer: if youre gonna clown on this post and tell me im an abuse apologist or some shit just understand that i have a lot of free time and love being a huge asshole when provoked but like youre so welcome to add to the discussion i love bullying my favourite character bro strider by steamrolling him we’ve talked about trans rights for too long now is the time for trans wrongs

[angelivily]

What the lore of the WAIA is (Because GT didn’t do one yet)

So Mark’s Warfstache Automated Interview came out as a HUGE surprise to us. We had NO idea it was even coming, or at least I didn’t.

I remember coming home from working out at the YMCA and seeing it there. I felt like the entire world fell into my hands, and I got extremely excited.

Watching the video, it seemed as if Will had created a robot who looked like him, only creepier and more...metal, and made it into an interviewer! Maybe to make his life easier, maybe to interview more than one person at once. I have no clue.

If you look in the description, you can see that Will got this idea from a little pizza restaurant. (Freddy Fazbears)

So basically Will had us doing a LOT of little calibrations to make sure the robot was working and doing all the right things to be able to start interviewing.

First we had to listen to some numbers, which all we heard was screeching and a Windows computer notification sound. And than the fucking robot went batshit insane which scared the hell out of me.

But the thing that got me completely interested in the lore was when Will said, “this message is completely pre-recorded.” Which was NOT the case at all.

Because if you continue playing and you click the, “I Think I Heard Numbers”, and “Uh...Potato Salad”, you can hear him say “WOW Potato Salad, a real thinker you, but the test has been passed with fine colors and you’re still alive!”

1. The message is definitely not pre recorded because Will REPEATED what we said. And 2. Guys I think he was expecting us to die.

He even said, “I wouldn’t want to be in the same room as that thing.” Because the WAIA is NOT safe. When you heard him say, “Now the list of survivors...” there wasn’t any. He was expecting us to die because all of the other testers died. That’s why there are so many endings where Will has expected us to die.

And there’s also a third thing. If you continue to watch the video you can hear these simple instructions.

“Left, right, up, down, down, basement.” That has to mean something...right? Maybe it’s instructions for the next game? Or maybe it’s Yancy’s dialogue from his ending in AHWM.

But he also says another dialogue after that. “Who. Where. What...Am...I?” Than he restarts his system only to say some colors before he stops and goes, “I saw you die...”

Later on in the video, Will says that the WAIA has EVERY piece of memory and thought that he has. He placed all his shared memories with the WAIA..

Since the WAIA has all of Will’s memories... it’s going to remember everything that happened before Will became who he is today. When he was the Colonel.

We continue to play, and we click “He said...potato salad?” And than Will starts to make up a “fake interview” with the WAIA. It starts all cheerful with a colorful background and exciting music. The WAIA starts speaking normally until he says.

“How many people have you killed?” Which would be somewhat normal for Will... but if you look back to “Warfstache Interviews Markiplier”, he asked Mark the SAME question. The WAIA is obviously going back to that because he remembers it from Will’s memory.

And as we’re waiting for the next question... the lights go out and the WAIA’s face lights up. He begins to tell us a story, sort of like Candy Cadet from “Pizzeria Simulator.”

“A man goes to a party. This man met an old friend. The two friends shared some wine. The two friends played a game... the most dangers game...” WAIA stops for a moment before saying, “I didn’t know the gun was loaded...I didn’t know.”

Will didn’t intentionally kill Mark. We all knew he didn’t in the first place, but this is Mark confirming it.

The story probably goes like this.

Mark was talking to Will when he brought up the fact of Russian Roulette. Will, in his pride of being exclusively good at the game, probably remarked on how he was an amazing player and how he and Mark used to play it all the time. Mark laughed and said, “hey, how about we escape the party for a moment and go to the winery. We can use the excuse that we’re grabbing some more wine, but we can play a single round down there for good times sake.” And Will agreed. They went down, and that’s where it happened.

Did you ever notice in one of the little clip scenes when we’re drunk at the manor and we see Will with a gun? Where do you think he got it?

You see, Mark always knew the gun was loaded. Mark GAVE him the loaded gun on purpose so he could die. It was all apart of Mark’s plan so he could get his revenge. From the moment he got “killed” by Will, he immediately got his plan started. I mean, he obviously wasn’t done with his true revenge because he still needed revenge on Damien and Celine, but he had already gotten what he wanted from Will.

And than WAIA proceeds to ask, “Was it my fault?” And my broken heart at that point said “No!” Because it’s not. Will didn’t know. He was completely drunk and especially blind to the fact that the gun was loaded.

If you click no, he answers with “You can’t change the past. You can tell all the stories you want to tell. It won’t change what happened. You can’t rewrite the past. If you live in fantasy forever... you’ll lose yourself in the story.”

I think this is Will’s way of saying that he’s sorry. He can barely remember what he did (The NO ending.. ill get to that in a moment) and he still questions if it was his fault or not. The fantasy part he was talking about was how he didn’t believe that anyone had died. He believed he didn’t kill anyone, that life was just a joke. He could shoot, stab, murder whoever he wanted, and they’d come back to life.

WMLW explains this canonically because Abe was in the same experience. He got shot in the heart and he made this scenario, this fantasy, that he had been chasing Will for years... but he wasn’t... and Will was trying to break him out of that confusion so Abe could move on.

If you pick the YES ending, this is what he says, “I’m sorry for everything that I’ve done... I don’t remember who I was... I wish I did..but... I am sorry...”

He doesn’t remember who he is or what he’s done. He lived in that fantasy world where death is inevitable for so long, he forgot what reality actually was.

(I think that Mark intended us to click “NO” first, before the “YES”. So we’d get a better understanding.)

Will doesn’t remember ANYTHING he’s done. He’s lived in this world of stories and fantasy for so long.. he doesn’t remember who he was. And he probably won’t.

People paint Will to be this guy that “puts on a facade but at the end of the day, remembers and recalls everything he’s done”...However he doesn’t. That’s the truth.

Remember WMLW when he kept mistaking Abe’s name and after Abe yelled at him about how he was a “murderer”, Will remembered? He can’t remember anything specific until you specifically say it in complete detail. And even than he doesn’t remember everything.

He doesn’t remember who he was, he wished he did, but I think it’s for the best that he doesn’t. I think it’s better for him to move forward as a character, than to look back. That’s what character development is for. And I’m genuinely happy for what Will is now, than what he used to be.

And this definitely won’t be the last we’ll see of the WAIA...

Ps. If we don’t get the WAIA saying “Potato Salad” at least once in AHWM 2 ... I’m suing...

[asterekmess]

(I was gonna save this for tomorrow, but FUCK IT) Eyyy, still being salty over here. Pls block the tag ‘rant’ if you don’t wanna see anymore of these. Or maybe ‘anti-scott mccall’ though, tbh, I’m not sure how much fun it would be to follow me if you aren’t anti-scott mccall. I’m pretty vocal abt disliking him.

ANYWAY.

I wanna talk about the concept of Derek being a ‘creeper’ because of all his wandering around the lacrosse field, at lydia’s party, etc. And by talk about, I mean ramble about incoherently. By which I mean, please know that I’m not trying to insult or fight anybody who makes this joke or uses this concept in fic or whatever. I’m just ranting bc I love this boy and his trauma makes me sad.

ANYWAY. (This is insanely long, so I’m adding a “Read More”)

I just have a lot of feelings about people seeing Derek as a stalker/creeper because he keeps showing up at lacrosse practice and in Scott & Stiles’ rooms, etc. It gets mentioned in loads of fics (I see a lot of “Creeperwolf” which I think is supposed to be an endearment?) (And there’s lots of fics that talk about how ‘you used to be/are really creepy, following us around’ Again, not judging) (Dude it’s even a whole tag on AO3 ‘Creeper Derek Hale’) and it’s joked about a lot in fandom (the vine with the ‘every step you take’ song and the swans on the building comes to mind). I see it a lot, and dude, it hurts me.

Let’s look at Derek’s current mental state and what he’s been dealing with, going all the way back to Paige. (Or, tbh, his birth) Derek is a werewolf. He was born a werewolf, to a family of werewolves. He grew up within the supernatural world, in a whole different culture to humans (honestly, my fury at the lack of werewolf culture/history/worldbuilding is worthy of its own post. Let me know if by some ungodly chance, you actually wanna hear my thoughts on it.) and presumably the number one rule in all of werewolfdom is “Keep the Secret.” Now, Derek’s fuckin’ 14/15 (I put his birthday on Christmas, like most of fandom, and if his house burned down when he was 16, in the spring, and he was dating Kate for a while before, he would’ve dated her when he was 15, and we don’t know how long there was between paige and kate, but let’s give him a summer of mourning. So. 14ish with paige) and he starts dating this human. He’s kinda shit at keeping the secret, implying that either he’s only dated werewolves before, or she’s his first girlfriend ever (also implying that maybe some of the people on his basketball team are werewolves, bc they don’t seem to notice his weird way of talking [pack members maybe? fuck, my heart]) and he’s maybe not as careful as he should be. (More implications arise, and we begin to build our own history. If Derek was never taught not to say dumb shit like ‘i caught a scent’ then was he even in public school before freshman year? Were the Hales all homeschooled before high school to help keep the secret? How soon do wolfy abilites arise? Do they hit with puberty? Fuck, I digress.) He says some dumb shit, and Paige gets suspicious. Of course, he doesn’t know that, and he has some kind of meltdown about her eventually finding out his secret. We hear from Peter (who’s villainized, so we’re not supposed to necessarily believe what he says, but what we see in the flashback doesn’t make a huge amount of sense either so *shrug*) that he enlists Ennis to bite Paige, believing that if she is bitten she won’t spill the secret and she’ll be more inclined to accept that Derek is a werewolf. Now, she fucking dies. Paige dies in Derek’s arms because of this, and he finds out at the last second that she already knew the secret. He feels guilty enough abt getting her killed but now he’s got a whole new batch of guilt from finding out that apparently he’s so bad at keeping the secret of his ENTIRE SPECIES that she found out he was a werewolf. She could’ve exposed them all at any time. He had to be terrified. Next, he’s 15/16 and he meets a gorgeous older woman who presumably showers him in affection, and all the horrors that go with that whole situation (I don’t wanna go into detail, because obviously). But again, whether Derek tells her himself or she just knew or she finds out, whatever it is, Kate knows Derek and his family are werewolves. AND SHE KILLS THEM ALL. Derek has no clue what the fuck is going on. All he knows is he is the only link between Kate and his family, which must mean that it’s his fault she knows about them. Once again, he’s revealed the Big Secret and people Died. He and Laura bolt to NY for six years, where presumably they live in hiding thinking the Argents are coming after them to finish off the Hales. Then Laura gets sent a funky letter and goes back to Beacon Hills. Now, we have a lil more confusion (i’ve got a whole buttload of issues with the timeline, but let’s not get into that now) because he says he came looking for Laura, but later he mentions that he knew she was in Beacon Hills and was searching for...whoever burnt down their house...that whole plotline confuses the shit out of me (derek knew kate did it. he blamed All the argents, but he knew kate was involved. So why was Laura looking for the pendant. and if he didn’t tell her then why was he looking for the pendant?? And what did the pendant have to do with the deer and the spiral?? Halp.) but whatever. He shows up and finds his sister dead, the hunters arrive in town the next day, and suddenly there’s an angry alpha Attacking Humans.

We’re finally in the present. Derek has lost what little family he had left, except for a catatonic uncle. He already has two instances in his past where the worry of keeping werewolves a secret has caused deaths. And now there’s this teenager. No, actually, two teenagers. One who was bitten, and one who shouts out “You’re a werewolf!” in the middle of the preserve, instantly figuring out a centuries-old supernatural secret. Derek is fucking terrified, and things are only getting worse. This kid who got bitten? Derek follows him to see if he’s really a wolf, to find out if he knows what’s happening to him, if he believes the other teen. He finds the kid JUMPING OVER PEOPLE’S HEADS in broad daylight in front of everyone. Derek might’ve had a couple verbal giveaways but this is just ridiculous. Then, even better, the kid goes on a date on the FULL MOON with THE YOUNGEST ARGENT. There’s about a billion reasons to follow Scott to the party. It’s a FULL MOON, for one. HE’S WITH AN ARGENT for another. And of course he can’t just walk into the party. He’s fucking 22 for fuck’s sake. This is a high school party. He’d get arrested. And of course he doesn’t introduce himself to Scott beforehand. He has no way of knowing if this kid is on the Alpha’s side. He’s the Alpha’s Beta, it would make perfect sense for him to be obeying the Alpha. OR since he’s with the Argent, maybe he’s working with them. Maybe he’s a plant of some kind. a hunter pet. Laura was used as bait to catch Derek, why not Scott too? But he sees quickly that Allison has no clue what’s going on, at least with Scott, and he takes her home and steals her jacket to lure Scott into the Preserve where he can’t hurt anyone. Then, when he sees Scott get chased by the hunters, with no Alpha coming running to protect him, he decides “Alright, guess this kid’s my ally. Gotta protect him.” Yeah. He says some weird shit. But the evidence points to Derek not knowing much about bitten wolves. He tells Scott that he doesn’t know how to train a bitten wolf, but he does know how to help Scott recover memories (the memory loss appears to only happen in the early days of shifting, which lends more credibility to the possibility that born wolves don’t start shifting properly until later in life [puberty being the most likely milestone] and he therefore has experience with that, but not with the kind of control Scott needs, that he’s known his whole life). Born a werewolf, he’s never considered the bite anything other than a gift. He also just lost his entire family, so sue him for trying to find some kind of connection between them. (It honestly makes total sense for him to use the term ‘brothers’ bc he KNOWs Scott won’t understand the concept of ‘pack’ yet) So, now that’s decided to help Scott, to protect him, he goes back to the school. SURELY now that Scott knows what he is and how dangerous he is when stressed, he’ll reign himself in during lacrosse, or even just back out of it altogether. There are lives at stake here, be them human, or if Scott exposes the secret, werewolves. SURELY this kid wouldn’t put everyone in danger over a fucking game. But no. Not only does he keep flaunting his abilities, but he SHIFTS ON THE FIELD. If Stiles hadn’t Dragged Scott out of there, the entire supernatural world would be EXPOSED by this ONE KID. Derek passed Terrified about a hundred miles back. He’s gotta be fucking out of his mind with fear. I don’t blame him even a little for threatening Scott. If Scott’s not gonna do the right thing on his own, then threatening him is worth it if people don’t DIE. Then, bc Scott’s a pissy baby and goes to shout at him and be a fuckwad, and Stiles is nosey and neither of them have boundaries (I love Stiles, but fucking seriously, digging up a grave?) Derek gets ARRESTED. He pleads with this lanky teen who is brave enough to climb into the cruiser with a WEREWOLF. Who’s FRiends with a Werewolf. Who figured it out so quickly. He pleads with him to understand how dangerous this is, to stop his friend. And Stiles looks like he’s gonna, but Scott bolts bc of the wolfsbane (Which...listen if I’m being really salty, a deep bitter part of me genuinely wonders if he was that freaked out, or if he overheard Derek beg Stiles not to let Scott play, and Scott ran away from Stiles so he wouldn’t get told no, bc he wanted to play.) and by the time Stiles finds him he’s already dressed for the game. And DEREK WAS RIGHT. Scott DID lose control. He DID shift on the field. At LEAST one human saw him shift, and the coach for the other team knew something was up too. He DID expose them, and he did it further bc Jackson is suspicious now. Now, I’ve reblogged a gifset of it before, the moment when Derek shows up at the lacrosse field and finds Jackson standing in it after Scott’s run off, staring at a glove with a claw hole in it. He is watching his worst nightmare come true. Scott has exposed them and Jackson is going to figure out werewolves, just like Stiles did. He knows right that instant that people are going to die. I’ll reiterate what I said in the tags on that gifset. It’s extremely likely that Derek bit Jackson out of self-preservation. Jackson had been threatening to tell the hunters and the entire world if he didn’t get what he wanted. The safest thing to do was give Jackson the bite so that at least he would be putting himself in danger too if he exposed werewolves. He forced Jackson to have to keep the secret for himself because he knew Jackson wouldn’t do it for anyone else. (And he knew Jackson had some self-preservation, compared to Scott, and wouldn’t want to expose himself.)

Listen, I just. I just get so sad watching Derek sneaking into people’s rooms and standing on the edge of the field and showing up in the locker rooms. He’s trying to help. He’s trying to protect. He wants to be there in case Scott does something stupid (which he does, again and Again) to protect him, even after Scott REFUSED to help him stop a SERIAL KILLER because there wasn’t anything in it for him. Even after Scott fucking blackmails him by leaving him hanging on a grate with wires plugged into his side and his abuser on their way back to hurt him, he still helps him protect Allison (who watched him be tortured and did nothing. [He still has the capacity to acknowledge that it’s not her fault. That she couldn’t save him. He doesn’t blame her for it and he certainly doesn’t want her to die.]) He wants to keep his Betas safe. He stands in the parking lot waiting for them to test Lydia because he doesn’t want them to have to go through with killing her alone (and he only tries to kill her because she DOESN’T pass the test [although I admit it’s a dumb test] and because the kanima is KILLING people. More people have died and I don’t know how the fuck Derek manages to keep standing, let alone having such capacity for empathy and optimism and sarcasm after everything he’s dealt with. He’s constantly being hunted by hunters or humans, or fuck even Scott himself, since every time Scott gets upset he blames Derek for everything (I’m still fucking disgusted that he turned up at Derek’s place and accused him of murdering his own sister.) And STILL he shows up. No matter how many times he’s shoved away and ignored and yelled at. He shows up and he stands on the fringes and he waits for the chance to help.

And what’s creepy about that?