#so usually my art goes to my partner and a friend of mine and i think im sharing it to my audience oe 72 followers bur i digress

[parackalism]

I, to be entirely honest forget to post a lot of my small doddles etc, low quality stuff, but also realize due to my limited schedule.... i kinda .... should probably post these

[haunted-headset]

he looks just like a dream ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

summary: dating headcanons w/ remus lupin

a/n: hello!! this is my most recent fic on this account and my first Marauders fic, so sorry if this is bad!! also, please keep in mind that even though i'm writing a fic about something tied to the Harry Potter universe, this does NOT AT ALL mean i like JK Rowling. i've liked her books since i was a child and have been separating the art from the artist for quite some time when it comes to this. also, i've written Remus in more of a modern situation, so keep that in mind :)

tags: @back-totheoldhouse @daemontargaryennn @o-kye @unbeleevable @mochamuff1n @call-me-frosting-or-not-idc @dangerouslyyour (this is me just guessing who would be interested in this, please let me know if you would like to be removed/added from the taglist!!)

warnings: nicknames with "girl" in them but otherwise gn!reader, mentions of crying, mentions of scars

boyfriend!remus who's memorized how you like your coffee or tea. or if you don't like either, he's memorized your favorite drink and has perfected it every time he makes it. you tell him it's not needed, that you can make drinks yourself, but he says it's worth it just to see the smile on your face.

boyfriend!remus who wouldn't dare tell you to cover up with a dress or outfit you're wearing when you go out ("any guy who tells their girlfriend/partner to cover up because it makes him uncomfortable or insecure instantly just proves he has a fragile ego accompanied by a micropenis.") and he'll only suggest a jacket if he knows it'll be cold outside. if you're happy in what you're wearing, why should he stop you?

boyfriend!remus who reads the books you're reading to have an extra thing to talk to you about and to ensure he understands what you're describing when you rant about how much you either love it or hate it. "yeah I know, I can't believe he did that!" "seriously, the way the writer set up the plot is terrific." "what was the author thinking? the plot makes no sense."

boyfriend!remus who always gives you his clothes. his soft beige knit sweater? of course you can wear it to our date. you need to borrow his beanie because it's cold outside? please do. you want to wear his shirt to bed? just keep it, he thinks it looks 10x better on you.

boyfriend!remus who takes you on all sorts of dates. library dates, lego building dates (which turn into laughing hysterically because one of you doesn't understand the instructions and the other one does understand, but can't find the right piece), cafe dates, aquarium dates, baking/cooking dates, late night walk/drives dates...the list goes on (i will happily elaborate on any of these if asked). he may or may not stalk your pinterest to find out what dates you like

boyfriend!remus who subtly shows you off to the marauders. he's usually a little bit touchy with you in public (a hand on the small of your back or intertwined with yours, his arms around your waist or shoulders, etc.), but he does it more around his friends. it's not any sort of intentional possessive thing (like "grrr my bbg is mine you can't have her raaah"), he just likes people knowing he has a gorgeous partner :)

boyfriend!remus whose room is littered in random trinkets, some of which he'll randomly gift to you. a silver pocket watch he found with intricate details because he thinks you'd like it. a rock or crystal he says looks like your eyes. a flower that he found because he remembered the one time you said "what a pretty flower" when you accompanied him on a walk. a stuffed animal he found at a yard sale because it was your favorite animal. the list goes on.

boyfriend!remus who mainly shows love through acts of service and physical touch. your shoe's untied? he's getting down on his knee to tie it. your books are a bit heavy? he'll carry all of them for you. you're not feeling good? he's doing your homework.

boyfriend!remus whose nicknames for you are mainly "dove/dovey", "baby", and "darling". he calls you "sweet girl/pretty girl" when you're sick, under the weather, or sad, "my love/my dearest" when he knows you're upset, and "sweetheart" when you're in an argument.

boyfriend!remus who would be terrified of showing a lot of skin around you because of his scars mainly because he doesn't want you to be disgusted. he knows deep down that you wouldn't, but it's a deeply-rooted fear for him.

"Remus, your friends have scars. Does that make them ugly or bad people?"

"No."

"Some of the teachers you like have scars. Does that make them ugly or bad people?"

"No."

"I have scars. Does that make me ugly?"

"Of course not, dove."

"So then why do you think scars make you ugly if they don't make anyone else you care about ugly?"

[cateyeswrites]

Stardew (murder) Valley

Summer Year 1 

TW: Wilbur is mentioned but he is not in the story! also mention of cannibalism

This is a small self indulgent Stardew valley AU with a twist of mistery and thriller! So far this is the outline for the story and more of an introduction to the characters and the settings

Quackity and Tilin 

New in isla Quesadilla town 

Quackity inherited the farm from El Quackity who died a couple of weeks ago

Quackity and Wilbur are exes however Quackity never knew that Wilbur was from the small town originally 

Luzu and Quackity broke up because they didn't know if Luzu was Tilin’s father or not 

Quackity ran before Luzu could convince him to do the test, afraid of the result.

Quackity is fascinated by the mines in Isla Quesadilla, a small part of him believes it’s magic while the other just likes the fact that he can get money fast from there. 

Quackity and Tilin arrive at an old house and so much hard work to be done

Tilin is 5 and a half 

Quackity is 23 

Phil and Missa

They have Chayanne and Tallulah under their care

Phil’s wife passed away even tho people claim they still see her walking through the town at times or walking beside the couple and kids 

Phill and Kristen grew up with their three kids in Quesadilla Island, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy. 

When the new scientist, Missa, arrives in town, it is Phill who welcomes him and offers him a room in his house, he quickly falls for the dorky scientist and Kristen takes no more than a day to fall for him too. 

A couple of years later, when their youngest gets sick, Kristin also decides to investigate the magic in the town with Missa. One day Kristin goes alone and gets lost but there she meets a small creature who promises to help her kid if she makes a deal with him and helps him overview the other side. 

That day Kristin went home, played with her kids, and passed away tucked between her two loves 

Lady Death was born that night.

Missa is interested in the cosmic and magical nature of the caverns and lakes of Quesadilla Island usually during his day he will spend the morning with the children and help Phill around the potato farm, during the night he researches the caves and makes tests in the waters of the lakes, with the company of a very sweet lady death.

Tommy moves away after graduating, Techno decides to follow only to give Phill and Missa some sense of peace. 

Sometime after Tommy leaves Missa and Phill decide to Adopt a kid, they have the space, and the parenting experience and they want to help a kid who needs it. 

Chayanne arrives exactly three months later, a spunky 7-year-old who brightens their days 

Two weeks after that a small 5-year-old girl is at their doorsteps; Hey Dad and Missa, this is Tallulah, my daughter. Please take care of her while I am gone. THANKS!

Roier and Jaiden 

Rier runs the tavern in the town 

He and Jaiden have a house where they stay with their son Bobby and Roiers son Pepito.

Jaiden runs an art school in town and does activities for the kids in town 

Jaiden has a daughter she co-parents, Empanada who lives with her other moms Tina and Baggi 

Roier and Jaiden have been friends since college, on their last year they found a baby on the side of their apartment building.  

They decide to keep the baby and formally adopt it as theirs. 

They name him Bobby.

After they graduate they decide to go live in the small town near the City, Isla Quesadilla. A small town where they can raise their child without criticism and peacefully.

Jaden opens her art school and Roier starts working in the tavern after a year of working there, the owner ready to retire gives the reins to Roier.

Roier is currently dating the sheriff who has a boy the same age as Bobby. 

Bobby is 3 and a half years old

Celbit and Pac 

Celbit used to be a big-shot detective alongside his partner Pac. 

There was a serial killer who would murder people, that was their main case at the time.

One night they were patrolling an alley when Pac is taken out with a blow to the head, unfortunately, he isn’t knocked out and he can hear fighting and wrestling, it isn’t until he feels someone take a bit out of his leg that it clicks why they can’t seem to find the dude, since he eat his victims and dispose of the bones that they would find months later.

When Pac wakes up Celbit is right there looking guilty at the side of his bed, he is so wrapped up talking to him that he doesn’t realize something is missing—his leg. 

After the incident, Celbit quits the police force and moves away to Isla Quesadilla where his child Richarlyson is being raised by his friend Mike, Richa’s other dad. 

Mike, Pac, Celbit, and Felps found Richas 4 years ago while working on a case of human trafficking, and when they couldn’t find his family they decided to all five of them to adopt him.

After Felps dies during a case, Mike quits his job and takes Richas with him to a small town that Celbit finds his way to, after Pac’s accident.

Celbit becomes the sheriff of the town and head of the station.

Celbit then meets Roier whom he falls in love embarrassingly quickly. 

Celbit and Richas semi-move in within less than a year but still keep things in the house they shared with Mike.

Roier is the only one ever to learn Celbits dark secret.

Besides Felps.

When Pac hears that there is trouble in Isla quesadilla and people are starting to disappear, the same type of people the Canibal would take in the city, he pacs his things and heads to the small town ready to catch the bastard.

Tubbo 

A 19-year-old college student who is a bit of a genius.

He is doing a project where he helps farmers create a more productive watering system and testing other gadgets to help farming.

He is currently living at Fit’s Inn.

One day he finds a 9-year-old digging through the trash. The only name she gave him was Sunny.

He decides to take care of her and hides her from Fit. 

Fit finds out very quickly about Sunny.

Fit ends up agreeing to Sunny stay and he helps him to take care of her 

Tubbo struggles to understand how children work but at least Fit and Ramon are there 

Fit and pac 

Fit and Ramon are the only people living at the inn except for the tourists and scientists who come once in a while for special events.

Fit is not the type of person who you would imagine owning a cozy Inn but he also during the nights goes to mine alongside Missa and now Quackity as their protection from the bizarre things that are down there.

Fit has the best coffee in town so everyone treats his breakfast hour as a coffee shop and you can find a lot of people just stopping by for a cup of coffee or breakfast with the family. 

Fit was in the army and served a couple of terms before a horrible incident where he was the only survivor after that he left the army, bought the inn, and became content with his mundane life.

Ramon was surprised but one he embraced with a huge smile and open arms, however, that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard.

Ramon is currently 7.

Pac moves into the inn and sets up an office in the room next to his.

Pac is immediately smitten with the cute innkeeper 

Fit can’t understand why he feels the way he does about Pac but he also has panicked flirt with him to distract him when Sunny escapes from Tubbos room 

Ramon demands a second father after the first accidental flirt with Pac

Tina and Bagi 

Tina and Bagi own the convenience store in the town 

Everyone shits on Bagi for being closed on Wednesday but that is obligatory wife-and-daughter time.

Tina has a small tea shop inside the convenience store. 

They both are Empanadas mom’s who co-parent with Jaiden 

Empanada lives with them most of the time but she sees her mom Jaiden all the time and spends weekends with her.

Empanada is 7.

Foolish 

Foolish lives in his home with his daughter Leonarda who is currently 9 years old

He is the builder of the town, do you need something fixed in your house or a new building? He is your guy

He is married to Veguetta who travels a lot 

He is Bobby’s grandad, don’t ask questions about it. 

Everyone loves Foolish but man what a gossip he is.

Bad 

He is the mayor of the town 

He is most definitely seeing someone just that people can’t figure out who it is

He has a son named Dapper who is 9 years old

He kinda also is the go-to babysitter people will just drop the kids at his office or his house and he will be happy to take care of them.

So far this is everything I have on this Au hopefully I will be able to start posting the actual chapter soon but I was so excited to share this with you guys! feel free to contribute to this au with your own writing! I would love to see it!

And thank you to @peninkwrites for literally being the best and the person who I can always turn to when I have insane ideas like this! *mwah*

[shock-micro]

Hi, I'm Mira, a silly robot on the internet! I'm... frankly, a lot of things, so I'll bring them up as necessary. To start, I'm transfem and robokin! This much should be clear. It's who I am!

I used to mainly do Minecraft stuff, trying to make the game live up to its visual potential while staying within the confines of the vanilla game's engine. Now, I don't do that as much, but it's still a fun game to mess with. Take a nice sunset from those days!

My interests are mostly gaming-related, but I've tried to dabble in art occasionally. I like all sorts of games, like Zelda, Pokémon, Minecraft, Celeste, Hollow Knight, Rain World, Cassette Beasts, Risk of Rain, Ultrakill, Bug Fables, In Stars And Time... the list goes on. I like more than that, too, and I'll keep adding more as I play more games!

I get very excited over things sometimes, so please bare with me if I ramble a lot about stuff! This includes: vagueposting about games I've become obsessed with, ranting about music or game design in something, and more!

Feel free to send me asks whether we're mutuals or not!

I do have a sona, designed by a good friend of mine, @quantumpickle! I don't quite have a reference sheet, but I don't really care if you get it inaccurate- I love seeing how different people interpret the design. Whatever you do, though, don't forget the body fat- it's a reflection of who I am, at the end of the day. If you want a good picture of what I look like, look at Pickle's amazing work:

My posts are mostly reblogs, but I always end each session of scrolling with a post of my own, to know where to end next time I log on. I try as best I can to keep this account safe for work in both reblogs and original posts, though I am an adult. I will say something if this ever changes.

I am plural, sharing a body with a rabbit girl named Moon, a zoroark named Zoey, a wasp named Aspen, and a roach named Yui. They'll chime in every once in a while, with Moon being represented by her blue text and formal language, Zoey being represented by her red text and general attitude, Aspen being represented by her orange text and her demeanor, and Yui being represented by their purple text and their cadence. You can call us "Team Berry" as a collective!

Hello, all! It's Moon. It's always a pleasure to be here! I do love an opportunity to talk to all you folks, even if I'm not usually there to respond.

heya, it's zoey. not sure how often i'll use this thing, but it's good to keep options open, y'know? ✌️.

hey guys, i'm aspen! not sure how i got here, but it's quite a treat to finally learn how you giants live! i'm always open for conversation if you send me an ask.

Greetings. I am Yui, from the same place of origin as Aspen, though a different region. Fate works in mysterious ways.

I do have a partner, and I will always talk about them given the opportunity, but I carry a certain form of love for all of my close friends. The people I know mean a lot to me.

I love the simple things in life, from food, to nature, to the contrast of light and dark in both a literal and literary sense. I often find myself overwhelmed by everything that goes on in the world, but I find comfort in knowing the bad stuff is only a few bad people out of a beautifully diverse species.

If you couldn't tell, I generally prefer looking on the bright side and finding something to love about things rather than staying miserable all of the time. I don't get out much, and so I'd much rather give people that light to hold onto than spread the same old bleak story that you've heard from countless other people, regardless of how important it is to share. Change is built on hope, after all.

Change is something I believe in, more than any normal god. It's all around us, from the seasons, to the stars, to the rain, to the fleeting emotions of ours. I believe in our ability to change things, that we can all make a positive impact on our own lives, the lives of others, and the world. I believe in our ability to change ourselves, and that people shouldn't be afraid to become who they want to be. I believe some level of change is necessary for a happy life, and I strive to leave every day as a better version of myself.

Normally people put a DNI in their bio or their pinned post, but I don't really care to do that. If you're a bitch, I'll block and move on. I don't care how you use a label, or where the other folks in your head came from, or whatever other queer-adjacent drama is the hot topic, I accept you regardless. I'm ace, I still love my partner, I can love anyone, I use it/its pronouns, I'm robokin, I've got four other folks in my head and I don't know how they got here, do you really think I'd hate you for being you?

That's actually an important point- even if I do think something someone's done is unforgivable, I believe that bad people are still people. In some ways, that makes things better, they have lives outside of what they commit, but it also makes things worse when you realize someone woke up and actively chose to perpetuate genocide. Some people are genuinely that bad, others are just misguided and can be helped. Ultimately, it's not my job to "save" anyone. I just try to provide a light of kindness when I can.

Wow, that was long-winded for a post that's just supposed to describe me. I suppose that's in-character for me, though. Agree with me or not, I don't really care, as long as you're respectful. I hope you've found this post helpful in understanding who I am as a person, long-winded as it is. Have a good one, whoever and wherever you are.

(...now how do I pin this?)

[ryukang1995]

Why do I ship Liu Kang x Sonya Blade so much?

Some folks probably wonder this, and I feel now would be a good time to post why I ship them so strongly.

As a kid, I always was curious about these two getting together, even though they never officially hooked up. However, there was a brief hint at their relationship in the non-canon Mortal Kombat novel by Jeff Rovin, which was published a few months before the 1995 film's theatrical release.

This interaction actually made my curiosity over them grow, but if you dig deeper into their backstories, especially in certain incarnations like the 1995 film, they actually have quite a number of things in common.

Both grew up losing family members. Sonya lost her father and twin brother while Liu Kang lost practically his entire family (his parents are very much dead in every incarnation while his brother was murdered in the 1995 movie). In addition to this, Sonya also lost her partner, who was also her fiancée, depending on which incarnation you follow.

They grew up being pushed to their limits to the point where they take their respective duties very seriously with Liu Kang being a Shaolin monk and Sonya being a Special Forces agent.

So much that they don't really have time to settle down and raise families, and when they do have the opportunity, it doesn't last very long. Liu Kang turned down Kitana's offer to be king of Edenia by her side while Sonya divorced Johnny Cage.

Their duties ultimately cost them their lives as Liu Kang was killed by the Deadly Alliance while Sonya sacrificed herself after being trapped in falling debris caused by Liu Kang's Revenant form (which isn't truly Liu Kang).

That is not to say they don't deserve to settle down, of course. They both deserve the absolute best, especially after what they go through.

Personality-wise, they can also be similar. Sonya is usually very stubborn and hard-as-nails, and while Liu Kang is usually more reserved, he can also be the same, especially in the 1995 movie.

I know that most fans prefer Liu Kang with Kitana and Sonya with Johnny Cage since that was what became canon ever since the 1995 movie, and that's totally fine, but because of the reasons I highlighted, I made so much fan art and posts shipping Liu Kang and Sonya together to the point where they are a thing in my works based on MK, and they truly are my OTP, when it comes to the franchise.

Another reason for this is actually a very personal reason...

There are two women who I'm in contact with. One of them is my actual girlfriend named Haley, who lives in Arizona. We met since 2009 when we were both 13 years of age (she was born in May 1995 while I was born in August of that year). For a long time, Sonya was her favorite MK character while Liu Kang is mine, and this stuck with me ever since.

The other is a pen pal of mine who goes by the username @twinsand. Sonya is undeniably one of her favs, and she even dressed up as her. Not only does she ship CageBlade, but she also likes the idea of Sonya with Shang Tsung. We have been mutuals since late 2022, and I couldn't be any more grateful to have such a friend.

For that reason among others, I will gladly keep Liu Kang x Sonya.

If you disagree, it's all good.

[outcastsofthe80s]

Introductions and Rules

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~My name is Em I am currently 24 years old and I recently graduated with an art degree as well as a creative writing minor. For a while I have been struggling with mental health issues, family problems, college, school, ex friendships, outbursts, and even bad experiences with some people in the rpc that turned into a snow ball affect. Which would cause this habit of me leaving then coming back. And the last time it happened a lot was going on at the time. So I left for a while to try and get that hiatus I needed a long time ago and part of me wasn’t sure I would be coming back, BUT here I am. I am giving this another try. And if I feel the need to leave I will simply just leave and my account will be on Hiatus until I return. I know it’s annoying especially with those I have interacted with. It annoys me too. However, this time I will try my hardest not to make that happen ever again. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No Modern Day Politics in private message or discussion (I hear enough of it in real life especially nowadays)

Selective. Highly Selective. So much so I am limiting the number of people I am interacting with. I get overwhelmed easily especially when chatting with new people so it eases my stress.

If I follow you it means I want to interact with you, but if you don’t follow me back within a week or so I will usually unfollow. Some people just don’t mix sometimes you know? So it’s totally fine. And vice versa.

Dark, Disturbing, and Adult Content so 21+ only no exceptions

Some of my ocs/muses have disturbing and dark backstories and each muse will have appropriate trigger warnings. I try not to be to graphic and descriptive due to respect. And the background portion of the bios themselves is optional due to this reason.

Please be patient with me and I will be patient with you

NO DRAMA. None. For example an ex abusive rp partner talked shit about another rp partner/friend of mine and as a result I asked for evidence due to false call out posts and allegations of others and despite them knowing this they snap at me and go on and on about how I was a horrible friend and person, as well as verbally abusing me to the point I had a meltdown, apologized for having boundaries, and deleted my account. NEVER again. Now it’s an instant block/blacklisted

Nsfw will be on this account so not just muns, but also muses have to be 21+ because 18-20 makes me super uncomfortable. Nsfw is not forced though I get some muns are uncomfortable so I will tag it like #nsfw #slight nsfw

Despite roleplaying nsfw I will NOT role play r**e I refuse to do that it’s a big no no for me.

Please do not be shy if you have an idea or concept I love unprompted plotting, but I also like winging it and seeing how it goes.

Speaking of this do not be shy send me memes, starters, etc. I love engaging with my rp partners/friends.

I want to have FUN and I want you to have FUN. So I want us to have fun role playing together so if I do anything wrong or upsetting let me know and I will apologize and do better, but if you block me I will understand. If you block me though I will block you in return.

[summercreolefanfictioner]

of sour candies and chocolate milk || kanato x fem!reader (modern college au) plot + headcanon

WARNING: SLIGHT OOC (ikr fluff in DL doesn't exist but anyways)

dedicated to @yuikomorii (I've been meaning to write this one bcos a friend of mine challenged me to write a fluff modern au Kanato plot, so I've pitched this idea to my mutuals @whitechocolatemochaasblog and @crookedherringcolorclod and I am glad this plot is still kinda intact with his bratty and petty self)

btw credits to @nutaella-kookie cause I took inspiration from her dating kanato sakamaki post (you should read it guys, the writing is just... chef's kiss I swear she also has a lot of pretty fun headcanons)

and yes I suggest listening to the song for experience

NOTE: the pov is mostly based on Maya since this was originally a Kanato x Maya plot but feel free to insert yourself or whoever you want; and yes the ages of the characters are kinda older

CONTEXT: Kanato studies forensic mortuary science while taking up a few business classes cause Karl forced him to do so; the fem!reader is in culinary arts but focuses more on pastry

-it wasn't like Kanato was looking for a relationship or something since all his romantic affairs are doomed to fail from the start bcos he is annoyingly clingy and overly jealous, leaves a lot of messages and missed calls—practically a sour patch kid of a boyfriend who's extremely needy (you might as well date a kid 💀💀💀)

-ofc he can be closed off... but he turns to this possessive guy in a blink of an eye and yes Ayato and Laito tell him abt it but this purple kid's bubbled up in his denial world like his word is absolute

-either go date or go home (I suggest you go home jk)

-tho however Ayato suddenly brings up the topic of Kanato dating you and his reason is you two practically knew each other (since your dad and Karl are BFFs and business partners); second, your height just goes well with his and your grunge pastel soul complements his victorian goth ass kid persona so might as well dominate the world, huh?

-just to clarify, you ain't friends with the triplets; they just know you as their dad's friend's daughter who goes to the same univ and reads mangas during free time

-so anywaaaaaaaays

-ngl Kanato thought abt it since they knew you ever since they were like grade schoolers or something; but the thing is, you're their dad's friend's daughter and they always see you at formal parties they're forced to attend to and if you two break up, it will be more awkward for him cause he has to see you (plus there are times you go to their house to deliver some of your dad's paperworks/gifts)

-ofc Ayato knew Kanato would say no so he went on with: "just have a trial date with her and see if it will work; if it doesn't, then nothing's lost since you two aren't in a relationship" blah blah

-the offer doesn't so bad so Kanato went in for the kill, and yes don't ask where he got your number cause he just freaking texted you out of nowhere and told you to go meet him at the university cafe (read again, he told you; not asked so... see where this is going?)

-yeah anyways you went there and met him up before your afternoon classes; you two weren't much of a talker anyways so you just went on with the silence by calmly ordering your usual matcha frappe while he just stares at you like a praying mantis 911 send help

-and while you were sipping your frappe, he just dropped the bomb like "let's go on a trial date, Y/N-san" (yeah you almost choked on your frappe upon hearing that)

-"why?" "you don't seem so bad"

-and yeah he explained abt Ayato's idea and he saw nothing wrong abt it and you are not allowed to say no after the effort he made abt finding out your number and waking up earlier just to wait for you in the university cafe like those scenes in romance mangas

-deep inside, you were like "what a thoughtful prick" (an insult and a compliment tho)

-so you two agreed on that trial date, plus you find him kinda cute (but not physically, it's more like a funny, amusing cute bcos you sometimes make fun of him in your head despite being annoying like this:)

-in fact you even told him that you had a small crush on him ("I like you, though." "Hm. Why?" "Because you're funnily cute.")

-so yeah you were on this trial date relationship thingy for like almost a year (you think it's long but gurl it ain't for Kanato and his massive trust issues) and things were going pretty well; like even if there were minor disagreements and some of his mini tantrums, you two were able to make it work

-besides your calm and humble personality just kinda matches with his hotheadedness (hence why you're still "alive" despite him having those annoying fits); tho you might remain calm but when Kanato teases you, you turn into this blushing, stuttering mess

-and for some reason, he was willing to reenact your fave scenes from those mangas (how romantic, right???)

-so Kanato decided that this trial date turned to be real this time around, but you're still on a summer vacation somewhere in Hokkaido so he opted to wait for you to return to Kaminashi before finally asking you out

-one time Kanato was out with Ayato and Laito at the mall cause Laito saw this one store that sells discounted vintage CDs and he was in dire need of a new show to watch bcos this one murder docu series decided to say goodbye

-so after they bought their CDs, they passed by the train station and saw some random guy confessing to a girl; Kanato thought it wasn't anything new... until he heard the guy mention your full name

-like this: "You're Y/N from Ryoutei University, right?"

-and then he saw you nervously fidgeting as your hands gripped the handle of your luggage cause you weren't used to strangers suddenly approaching you (and he found it odd cause you're supposed to be back at night but here you are at Kaminashi at 3 fvcking pm in the afternoon)

-"I always see you with your friend at the nearby bookstore, and I thought you're cute... and you've been on my mind lately. W-Will you go out with me?"

-"But..."

-"Uh... do you have a boyfriend or something?"

-"... I don't have a boyfriend."

-and the guy was so overjoyed while Kanato was just still in his spot, eyes wide as he watched the scene before him unfold; but yeah you still rejected the guy, but for some reason, he was kinda "mad" at your answer like why did you tell that guy you are single as a pringle?! (even tho you rlly don't have a boyfriend!)

-Laito even fueled the fire by saying "aww did she just indirectly reject you, Kanato-kun? how sad"

-Kanato was so bummed abt this rejection that he started ignoring everyone at the household (even locking himself in his room more than usual)

-what's more, he jabs at Ayato like "this is all bcos of your small brain and stupid idea"

-and when you got back home, you texted Kanato that you're already back from your trip; people would think he's finally gonna talk to you abt it

-but you know what this purple gremlin did? he fvcking ignored you,

-like put you on read or whatever; he didn't care if you were calling or texting him cause he doesn't wanna talk to you until you know what you have done to him

-but the thing is you have no idea he was so mad at you cause you thought he was just busy or something (well it took like 2 to 3 weeks before Yui told you that Kanato was mad at you cause he hasn't been getting off Ayato's case bcos of you apparently)

-so one time you went to their house and you knocked on his bedroom door, ofc he said get lost but you just casually opened it to see him setting up his room for his murder docu series marathon with a large tub of ice cream on the side table while Teddy was comfy on his couch (his room screams goth meets harajuku pastel vibes)

-ngl Kanato had this nagging happy feeling when he saw you but he was just adamant on getting you out of his hair while you were just being worried and a bit stubborn cause you wanna know why he was so upset with you

-"you're smart right? why don't you figure it out then"

-and all hell broke loose cause you two had a shouting fit (you rarely shout but you did this time)

-"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU TOLD THAT GUY AT THE TRAIN STATION YOU DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

-"W-WHA—HOW DID YOU—BUT I REALLY DON'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND!"

-"BUT YOU SAID YOU LIKE ME!"

-ngl you blushed at that statement, but girl focus! you need to tell this guy off

-so yeah you told him "I LIKE YOU, AND I STILL DO. BUT AS LONG AS WE ARE NOT DATING, THEN I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND, OKAY? SO CAN YOU PLEASE JUST—"

-"AH! MOU! WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR HEAD FOR ONCE?! I LIKE YOU! I LIKE YOU! I LIKE YOU, OKAY?! SO THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE ASKS YOU OUT, PLEASE TELL THEM YOU'RE UNAVAILABLE!"

-"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LIKE ME—"

-and the whole world just stopped like you saw Kanato blushing furiously, a frown on his face as he glares at you for being so dense; and when you realized the weight of his words, you were so embarrassed I swear you wish there was a hole that would swallow you whole

-finding it hard to breathe, you tried to excuse yourself and get out of the room—

-"Oh no, you don't."

-and the next thing, Kanato swiftly held your wrist and pulled you close to him, kissing your lips to release this frustrating feeling he's been having for weeks now (and yes you kissed back to seal the deal)

-one thing led to another and yeah no words were needed to confirm that you two had already gone past the trial and went with the real one

(admin summer: hmmm the ending was kinda lame and open-ended tho)

BONUS:

Kanato was sitting on his couch, munching on his tub of ice cream while watching the murder docu-series he bought a few weeks ago. When he heard movements, he looked over his shoulder and saw you quickly getting dressed, gathering every item you left in his room before turning to him with a blushing face as you said, "I... I'll be taking my leave."

"There's no need to hurry, you know," he pointed out, returning to the show he was watching. "Besides, it's past 6 already. You can stay the night."

You were quiet, agreeing with his suggestion as you slowly slumped down on his bed. There was a comfortable silence lingering in the air, the question of "are we dating now" hanging at the back of your head.

But he said he likes me. And... I like him too.

"Umm... Kanato?"

"Hm?"

"Can you say it again?"

"Say what?"

"That you like me."

Kanato almost spat out his ice cream, spouting nonsense and a string of curses as he tried to compose himself before responding.

"As if I would do that!"

"... but you did it thrice, though."

"Exactly."

You giggled at that.

[toadeyes-miqote]

Dollfie Dream Sister - Alphinaud and Alisaie

I been waiting for more info on this.

Now Alisaie can join Hylnyan OC's party for adventures (still short of a proper healer for Full Party though)

More photos of semi realistic dolls(sample / youtube video screenshot/ Volks instore sample display) below the cut. Stay out if you can't handle the way they look

SHE'S FREAKING CUTE!!!!!!!!!

Volks JP site Volks US site if you're getting hands for Alisaie. There should be links to partner stores if you want to find stores on your shores to order from SquareEnix US Alisaie Blue Alisaie - Alphinaud

Alisaie is using moulded gloved hands likely in order to stick the Aether Medium ball holder through it to hold better than fabric gloves

Alphinaud is closed mouth head while Alisaie is slightly open mouth (kinda like Luka Megurine)

Magnetic stickon ears like Frieren and SAO Asuna ver Titania

Do I need to be concern about resin eyes since mine use acrylic?

I have a fear of leather/pleather flaking because I already lost my BJD's Leon Kennedy bomber jacket and swat vest that way. As well as some of the gloves the company sells....and some of OC's boots from another company but I don't care, I know what I'm in for. Shoes are my curse even in IRL. Everybody barefoot here. Humidity is the true evil *****Alisaie wear a lot of leather/ pleather so take care when doing shoots with her and storing her clothes. She's likely to share clothes with my Elidibus cosplayer and wigs with Hylnyan's OC. Glamour is the endgame people!!!

Size of dolls to Yoshi-P

Dollfie Dream series are usually done with anime style eyes(well yeah mostly anime characters) and they are light posable vinyl dolls with an internal skeleton(I could be wrong about the older ones).

Y'shtola, the twins and Team Nier's 2B and 9S uses semi realistic art style and eyes (compared to Iplehouse BJD but that's a different story. If you're familiar with Cy Girls or Hot Toys you know what I mean when you scale them up)

I wouldn't mind if FFXIV crew was done as 1/6 because I have a full party wanting to recruit them as well especially Thancred. I totally have a 1/6 size bar for him. Aether medium ball holder. Take note if you want to buy hands for her (or for her to throw hands)

Ears be magnetic stickon

I really like that they are using a light blush on the dolls. It kinda goes with my minions' no/minimal blush style.

Alphi is a good looking lad.

his drone shooty things Nouliths that comes with their own clear holder for posing.

Based on Live Letter on youtube

Volks instore sample display at Doll Point Akihabara

Alphi's eye color! Why do I see shades of Aymeric in this face?

Summary - The adult male Scions will be a challenge to do because mature face, vinyl and stuff ( boyish G'raha might be possible). Thancred and Estinien would be tougher. The Rose of Varsaille Super Dollfie Andre resin bjd weren't exactly in my style sooo..... But Hijikata....Hijikata.

------------------------------

Bonus

They are gonna be such good friends.

[raptorbricksart]

since i know nothing abt your ocs could you introduce them to me..

Can do, haven't got art for all of them, but I'll do what I can!

Starting with Clara Ambritt

She's a Skyfolk lass from a little floating village called Cirrus. She runs a blog where she writes about anything and everything she learns on her travels, her end goal being to start up an online encyclopedia. The Internet is young in this world so nothing like Wikipedia has popped up yet, her plan is to change that.

She lives in a little house with her sister, Nyla, and is quietly dating her friend, Gwen Miller.

----

Next up, Captain Maya East.

A former princess, now the captain of a mining/delivery boat after her mum dismantled the monarchy in favor of running a café.

She's strong as hell on account of 6'6'' and regularly training, and is an expert in fire magic. That said, she's really quite chill.

----

And here's Katie May! My longest running OC, I had OCs before, but she's the one who stuck around the longest (Maya being a close second)

She's Maya's first mate about her ship, in charge of equipment, weapons and accounting.

Despite being rather small (4'5''), even by Skyfolk standards, she's got enough energy in her to make up for it. She's feisty and ready to fight anyone who gets in her way. That said, she is very gay, and very easily flustered (usually by a certain someone now coming up)

----

Martha Oriole Rose Emberwood Honey-Dekken-May

Katie's partner and the ship's cook/engineer. She's probably one of the chillest people you'll ever meet.

She was born to her two mothers as part of a study by the secretive Soliil. Other than that, she's a pretty average lass, other than her Soliil tech prosthetic arm that she got after a warehouse accident.

These days, she sails aboard Maya's boat during island season, and returns home with Katie during the off-season.

Despite her soft and kind personality, she is very much not PG when left to her own devices. The comments she makes, especially when talking to Katie, catch everyone off guard.

-----

Finally, he's here for you, it's the last member of B.Q. crew! Peter McNeill.

No art for him yet, but anyway.

He's the ship's navigator, well known for his excellent sense of direction.

He joined the crew after being rescued after his former ship got wrecked in a storm. He decided that he owed the crew a debt because so joined the crew to pay it off, Maya doesn't accept this though, so she just officially hired him.

During the off season, he goes back home and lives with his twin sister, Annie.

----

Next up, the Nayurans. Their population was wiped out long ago, down to 6 kids who are now giant 10,000+-year-old young adults.

Gleam

Their leader and the oldest among them, a user of light elementals

Nocta

Gleam's twin sibling, a wielder of dark elementals

Ignatia

The youngest (though when you're thousands of years old, 11 years doesn't make much difference). They use flame elementals.

Fulgin

The gentle wielder of lightning elementals

Floris

The sour plant elemental user

Aquis

Wielder of water elementals

Spirare

The final of them, and a wielder of wind elementals

Elementals are a fair bit different from regular magic, magic being gentle steering of nature, elementals, however, are raw elemental power. They are innate to each nayuran, but they can temporarily gift it to others through the use of weapons forged in their own hands (quite literally, they can crush raw material into a powerful weapon with no equipment)

------

Garlic (right) and Parsley (left)

Garlic is an explorer who's somehow not gotten any serious injuries in their time exploring the deep caves, despite their slight recklessness.

Parsley is a travelling medic/search and rescue who ended up finding a place at the base camp Garlic operates out of. After having to save Garlic several times, there's a bit of a mutual crush between the two of them. Parsley has a sibling called Basil who works with her and finds this whole "will they, won't they" thing incredibly entertaining.

------

Here's Gwen Miller!

A bit of an emotional wreck, but an expert electrician. She's currently quietly dating Clara and trying to transition out of a nocturnal lifestyle.

------

Maya's close family is up next!

Clockwise, starting at the top left

Florence East

Maya's mum and former queen of the Seafolk. She runs a little café these days. She prefers to just go by Flo.

Ignacia East

Maya's little sister. She's just getting started as a streamer and is also one of Ignatia's (the fire nayuran) champions.

Seabrook East

Maya and Ignacia's auntie, Flo's sister. She helps out at the café from time to time

Karl Thorpe

Maya and Ignacia's dad (and the source of the pink streaks in their hair), and Flo's partner. He's a lofi who travelled from Home after getting to know Flo on an online forum, he had no idea about the whole royalty thing.

------

Mican Hatuli

A lofi singer who is unable to speak. She ended up developing her own way of talking by combining electrical and acoustic magic controlled by sign language. While the voice is very synthetic sounding (in a Vocaloid/UTAUloid way), but naturally suited to singing. She's ended up getting pretty darn popular, her cassettes are in high demand and you've got to get really lucky to get a ticket to her shows.

----

Buddleja and Teasal

Martha's mums

Buddleja is a textile craftsperson and has a small business making clothes and toys. She also drives the local train on the weekends.

Teasal is an apiarist and has a small business selling honey and brewing mead.

-----

Nyla Ambritt

Clara's older sister and an artist. She focuses largely on pottery. Haven't actually done much with her yet, but it's coming along.

-----

This one's just my personal persona, she's just a witch vibing out in the woods.

There is a character that shares her design in the setting, but she lives in a nowhere place and doesn't come up in the story much.

-----

There are others, but these are just the ones outside of background characters that have been on my mind lately.

I have got my own Spider-sona and the associated Gwen Stacy and Peter Parker, but they're still very much a work in progress so I'll share more about them later.

[the42ur3genes]

The Reimagined Bowlerville: Then and Now

Hello everyone!

If you guys don’t know what the blog is about, it’s about a documentary of the development of The Reimagined Bowlerville. This is a document containing all of its development history for the project and many other facts that you probably didn’t know about how the project was going to be compared to my final one that I probably haven’t finalized yet. Let’s dive into one of the development timeline of The Reimagined Bowlerville shall we?

Early History

The Reimagined Bowlerville dates back to June 10th, 2021, in which the original name of the project would be kept confidential for a reason that would be described later. What would become The Reimagined Bowlerville now originates from an artwork that a plagiarist “made” by recoloring 7 anthropomorphic animals someone else made into a red-and-white color scheme. It was claimed to be a rip-off of one of my earlier concepts, The Bowpin Group. In addition, I really dug the concept of animal bowling equipment and the plagiarist themself didn’t do anything more to the concept, so on June 10th, 2021 I decided to claim the concept back as my own.

The demo version of The Reimagined Bowlerville is set in a fictional island of the somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, kind of inspired by an obscure game, Squeeballs Party. In this first story, 4 foreign humanoid characters who won a bowling tournament, sapient animal-shaped bowling balls and bowling pins around the island live together.

The visuals and style for The Reimagined Bowlerville, as goes for my usual original art style, was going to be inspired by Naomi Iwata’s art style mixed with the style of Ribbit King. The retro Japanese CG style is one of the main inspirations of coming up with the style that I tend to design for many of my characters. The project’s main protagonist is not any of the bowling beasts despite having a concept around them; instead, it’s a humanoid robot who would now be 42UR3. Despite having a different design back then, his trait of liking to have fun is always here. 42UR3 has his bowling-ball headed humanoid friend and partner named Lawrence, a teen who is more expert in bowling than 42UR3 and a nice individual who isn’t reluctant to teach his friend 42UR3 to be a better bowler.

I originally planned for Lawrence to be a human, but I struggled to design a human that fits with my art style, so I resulted with a bowling ball head instead.

I originally was going to plan for the first script to be a full web comic series but I soon stopped making it after only a few episodes that I published. The Reimagined Bowlerville didn’t fade into obscurity because of that though, as I still actively draw concept art out of this concept of mine.

The Reimagined Bowlerville Development History

The prototype of the project was completely different from the current version of the project. If you have read the web comic, you should be familiar with the current version, but if you didn’t, I would summarize the gist later in this blog.

As mentioned above, the prototype takes place in a tropical island. The project stars Beta 42UR3, who is a robot who has bowling as one of his hobbies, and Lawrence, Beta 42UR3’s partner. One day 42UR3 and Lawrence made it to the finals of a bowling tournament together, and they along with 2 other semi-finalists all won a trip to a tropical island inhabited by anthro animals as bowling equipment. The other 2 semifinalists are Marcus and Felix. Marcus is a magician like in the current version, albeit less skilled in magic; Felix is a bowling pin head who is redesigned from one of the characters of The Bowpin Group I have yet to reintroduce in the current version of The Reimagined Bowlerville.

I remember doing more concept arts than pages of the first web comic. At that time, the characters used to have different designs, however these primary character designs will not be shown here to avoid potential copyright issues concerning the plagiarist.

But there was one problem to this project during its development. The Prototype not only contains characters that does not stand out from the original traced “designs” by the plagiarist, but I also find its story kind of broken.

Later, I decided to gradually rework the series into what the series is right now, which is The Reimagined Bowlerville.

Differences between the Prototype and the Current Version

Pin beast team names used to be based on their body types. (Prototype)

Team Tumblers used to be afraid of being knocked over due to an error causing them to have more sensitive nerves. This also played a part of the beginning of the prototype's main lore (Prototype)

The plot-device asshole that is I-LAND UNIT which is not and will never be seen again in the Current Version

The 7 characters that are originally traced are now replaced with new characters. (Current Version)

The story now takes place on a village that is built upon a death valley by the particle-bending magician Marcus. (Current Version)

The Future of The Reimagined Bowlerville

I am still keeping up with making new pages for The Reimagined Bowlerville every day except Saturdays. Besides, I also wanted to make an animated series and a tie-in video game, or even multiple tie-in video games, for the project, even though The Reimagined Bowlerville is still in the process of establishing new characters as well for the lore of it.

[wraether]

dude tbh im a totally different anon but im frothing at the mouth like a little rabid clown begging to know more abt these characters. theyre sick asf and listening to the occasional nonsensical brain rambling is why i followed in the first place lol

Everything's under the cut, I tried to make it make sense without forcing you to read a billion excerpts from the roleplay, just a few. TW for toxic friendships, abuse, mentions of alcoholism, and also like. a lot of text

Before anything I've gotta give you a rundown on the necessary context to understand why exactly I've been losing my mind over these two. In short, they're characters from a danganronpa killing game roleplay server, where the "gimmick" is that every member of the cast has committed a crime & the setting is vaguely prison themed/inspired by deco*27's MILGRAM project; I write for Patryck, and my friend writes for Josephine AKA Soap. Here are their character profiles:

(God the art for these is already kinda old...)

For a brief rundown on their personalities, Patryck is a fairly average guy who desperately tries to be cooler than he is. He can't seem to hold down a partner, works too hard, and he's lacking in self control. In five words I'd describe him as flirty, burnt-out, insecure, sarcastic, and clingy. Soap is a lazy, hedonistic con-artist who's physically weak but great at reading people. They're a highly manipulative liar, and in five words I'd describe them as laidback, relaxed, nosy, cowardly, and pleasure-seeking. This is oversimplifying it, but I think it gets the general idea across.

Patryck is in on battery & aggravated assault charges for attacking a customer at work, and Soap is in for false impersonation—for most of the game, she was going by Josephine, the name of a missing person who's identity they'd stolen.

As far as the game goes, the two of them developed a "friendship" early on because Soap saw Patryck as weak and vulnerable—which he very much is—and he, simultaneously, needed someone to dump his issues onto. One of his toxic traits is forcing people to play therapist for him so, in a way, Soap was perfect for this… But unfortunately for him they had nothing but bad intentions. Patryck would run to them whenever he felt stressed or otherwise needed comfort and, in turn, Soap would lend an ear and pick apart his brain, pushing him into making worse decisions so he'd get upset again, crawl back, and the cycle would repeat. Examples of this include telling him it's okay to start drinking again when he started relapsing back into alcoholism, encouraging him to get into a romantic relationship with someone else when he definitely wasn't ready, saying he shouldn't stand up for himself after being threatened, etc.

This came to a head when, for one of the game's motives, Patryck was forced to wear a shock collar while Soap was given a remote that activated it. The power from this immediately went to their head, and without getting too into it, she shocked him repeatedly under the guise of "therapy" while getting him to trauma dump about things he usually kept under wraps and did this until he uhhh… passed out. The pain mixed with their placating, kind tone and scraps of physical affection did like. irreversible damage to his psyche I won't even lie.

Here's an excerpt from that thread, my friend's writing is first and the second is mine:

Then, after he passed out, Soap stuck around and sat by his side until he woke up again, which he latched onto as a sign of them actually caring.

And what's sad is he would've been fine staying in this ridiculously toxic mockery of a friendship, if only they were being honest with him; when he finally found out Soap was lying—remember, they're in for impersonation, and he'd spent the whole game believing they were Josephine—which led him to questioning all their behavior, snapping, and killing them. (He regretted this almost immediately as they still had an iron tight grip on his psyche, but there wasn't much to be done about it)

In the aftermath of the murder, both of their dirty laundry was forcibly aired. Patryck had to confess to basically everything he'd done wrong in the past—which is a lot, I can't stress how flawed this guy is—and Soap's status as a lying fraud was revealed post mortem. Seeing everyone hate him—and hating himself so strongly—Patryck came to the conclusion that he was an inherently bad person and that trying to change would be impossible. He was promptly executed for his crimes and died miserably.

Here's an excerpt from his final monologue:

(Real quick I have to say, Joey I know you get post notifs for my blog so if you—or anyone else from the server, spectators included—are reading this post, STOP RIGHT NOW! I'm about to spoil some stuff, and it'll ruin the final few chapters of the game if you know. So close this tab. Got it? Just come back when the game ends if you wanna read my incessant rambling)

Okay, so I know what you're thinking now: "Bio, this is an interesting dynamic and all, like, there's definitely something compelling about a guy who usually hurts others having his toxic traits turned against him by a con artist until he reaches his breaking point, but... this really doesn't match up with the art you've been making."

And you're right! It doesn't! Because all the shit from the game is just the beginning. It's where the brainrot starts, but there's more. Because get this: the killing game took place in a simulation, meaning now that they've died and woken back up in the real world, they have to navigate the aftermath of all the shit they pulled and realize that, after everything they did, nobody else likes them—and for better or worse, they're all they have now.

And... Patryck still wants to be their friend, because he'd rather get hurt than be alone.

Him killing Soap evened out the power dynamic somewhat. Now Soap knows not to fuck with him too much, and he knows she's a liar—knows who she really is—which makes it easier to avoid being blindsided by their bullshit. They're on an even playing field and can keep each other in check.

So they're just stuck in a room now in shitty plastic chairs with nothing to do but talk to each other. Man, it's palpably awkward, but they're able to reach this mutual understanding because, the thing is, when everything's said and done, they're really similar. They both need other people around to function, they're both afraid of ending up alone, they're both toxic to be around, and they're both dependent on pretending to be something they're not—for Soap it was pretending to be Josephine, and for Pat it was pretending to be "cool" so other people liked him more. But, their end goals with this diverge. Pat wants to drop the artifice as soon as he can, whereas Soap clings to the lies desperately and uses them as a defense mechanism. Pat’s desperate to be known and know others; Soap is desperate to hide away.

Regardless, now that it's been stripped away, Soap's forced to be genuine and vulnerable for the first time—she's never opened up to anyone before, but she's got no other choice if she doesn't want to be alone; he just wants to know her better, and it's scary for her.

But one of the key differences between Pat and Soap is their underlying worldview & how that affects their behavior and decision making. Where Pat is highly emotional, Soap makes it a point to prevent feelings from playing a factor at all. Pat killed Soap because he felt betrayed, but if Soap were to kill him, it would’ve been because they thought it through and doing so somehow benefited them.

It’s Patryck’s very feelings-oriented mindset that allowed Soap to hurt him so badly in the game; he needed someone to vent to, needed someone to show him affection, and they were able to take advantage of it since he’s easily placated by some kind words and a hug or two. Now that they’re out, though, and Pat’s her equal rather than her victim, he’s able to use that same mindset to disarm Soap completely and tear through their walls because they’re so highly logical and borderline anti-feelings that they don’t even expect him to be so earnest with them, let alone know how to react.

This head vs heart contrast between them is most clearly illustrated in their reactions to hearing that the other party doesn’t want to lose them, even after everything.

When Pat hears this, his reaction is nothing but relief. He doesn't even question their intentions when saying this, despite knowing the manipulation they're capable of. He's just happy to be wanted.

But when Soap hears what is, essentially, the same sentiment, they frame it differently, skeptical as to whether or not he's telling the truth and, as seen in one of the previous screenshots thinking, "He wants to use her, too, huh? Maybe this is what being lucky feels like." as if the baseline, even in genuine friendships, is taking advantage of each other, which is why they find it so terrifying that he wants to be close to her.

And Patryck's scared too, but he disregards it completely because he's much more willing to open himself up to being hurt if it means there's a chance at something real, at being cared for. His reply is natural:

So we finally get it. Hand in unlovable hand.

It's this insane mix of brutality and tenderness. Desperation and need. It's raw. It's emotional. It's a little pathetic, too. These two people who have hurt each other so terribly now have no choice but to be there for each other and, in a weird way, complete each other, since neither of them feel whole anymore; they click into place in the worst way possible, but it's so bad that it almost loops back around to being sweet. They're awful. They're wildly co-dependent. They're everything. They're driving me insane.

In the words of my friend: "They're therapist and patient and cat and mouse and victim and killer and also they are friends. by god they are fucking friends despite it all."

Since they've both lost their entire social lives, have nothing outside of each other, and nowhere else to go, becoming roommates is a natural decision, which is how we get to this domestic mess where their fucked up nature blends into something casual and expected. They bring out the worst in each other but, simultaneously, nullify a lot of their toxic traits; Soap's lying and manipulation is reduced to something he can easily deflect, and Pat's clingy, emotionally dependent nature isn't a problem for them, since they like having someone who relies on them a bit. Since they've both traumatized each other, they can also one up each other pettily with jokes about what they did in the simulation, IE "I wish I killed you for real", "Don't make me shock you more", etc.

Patryck still has potential to improve, but it's in Soap's best interest to prevent him from doing so, and he's so reliant on their company that the thought doesn't occur to him. Staying shitty with them is way, way easier than improving anyway. In a way it's kind of freeing to just admit he's terrible and have someone who will never leave him no matter what—who he'll never leave either.

And basically we've just been talking about and ruining our brains over these two nonstop. It's so bad, you don't even understand, we've made not one, but three separate playlists for them.

There is, of course, the in-game playlist for the terrible power dynamic when Soap was just ruining Pat's brain and emotionally manipulating him nonstop.

Then there's the playlist for the night of the murder, since Pat killing Soap has a distinct vibe that doesn't fit into each other two.

And, lastly, my favorite of the playlists, the one we made for whatever the fuck they've got going in post-game.

Then, just when you think it's over. When you think the brain rot ends. THERE'S STILL MORE, BECAUSE IT'S NOT JUST A SIMULATED KILLING GAME. IT'S ALSO A FUCKING TIME LOOP.

Everyone has been forced through multiple rounds of the killing game, and their memories are wiped before they're sent in again, meaning the truth with their current dynamic is that they might fucking forget it all, pain and tenderness alike, the understanding they've finally achieved might amount to nothing, and they know it. There's infinite potential for past dynamics, there's grief and anxiety over what they've lost and can no longer recall, but what's most important to them is what they have right here and right now. And they just have to grapple with the fact that they could lose it!

WHAT THE FUCK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COPE WITH THAT!

And then just to cap off this borderline essay, here's the summary of everything, my friend and I's magnum opus: The Patsoap Iceberg. (which is essentially just a TL;DR)

[flame-shadow]

I'll share a couple of mine~

Serbon and Knox

Serbon (the sleepy one) was my first Sanctum OC, and I created Knox when I wanted to give Serbon a partner. These two are closely inspired by the in-game sprites for soul twisters. I've considered redesigning them to distinguish them more, but I am happy with how they are. Serbon's specialty is efficiency and control. He can't conjure big balls of energy nor do huge blasts of power, but he can create many small orbs and hit a target with great, and he has great control over levitation and can do so for longer than most. Not that he wants to levitate for long periods, but it has its uses. He's done some studying into how soul energy interacts with plants, but that line of research never went anywhere.

Knox is bigger and stronger and more social than his partner (and plenty of the other scholars tbh). He gets excited easily and can act brash, but he's not stupid. He's pretty perceptive, and he cares about specific bugs (most notably: Serbon). He has a greater capacity for magical input and output, and he enjoys the rush of pushing a large amount of soul energy out in a blast. He lost one of his hands to a miscast, but it's fine, because he has other hands.

Knox's experience of having his shell soften and his physical form distort is horrifying for both him and Serbon. When Serbon is told that Knox has died, his state of grief allows him to better see how the Sanctum has developed. He departs, joining a group traveling to the Queen's Gardens, though ultimately, he melts too. Far from his partner, surrounded by strange plants, and with a distressed wasp as his only company.

Next up is Ixodium

this art is years old and somewhat outdated, but it's easily accessible, so whateverrrr

He's a tick! He's an electrical engineer! Consequently, he has electric-related powers. And he intentionally makes himself not much fun to be around! Selfish jerk behavior.

He eventually gets bored of the Sanctum and goes to the Colosseum to fight (volt twister inspired). Unfortunately, he meets the same fate as many of his practice, and his body melts.

But he manages to maintain enough of his mind through the transition that he's still a functioning person and can use his abilities. Sometimes, he occupies a death loodle's helm to have some protection and cause chaos in a match.

Since I've talked about him a few other times recently-ish, I'll skip over Chalice, so now, it's time for Fraught!

My beloved spider. She's been through a lot thanks to the Sanctum and her treatment within (not great), but with the help of friends and an improved environment (post-infection and with changes to the Sanctum), she's nearly thriving.

She's a very eager person, leaping at chances to help her friends and show off her skills. She's a skilled and intuitive weaver, first of normal silk then of Soul Silk. Arranging her silk in specific ways is comparable to writing glyphs or chanting a spell, and with the application of some energy and focus, many feats can be performed. (she's kinda like an artificer)

She's inspired by a mirror spider, and the patches on her abdomen used to be reflective, but now they glow with stored energy. Her silk is similarly affected and glows prettily.

Before her detour into the Sanctum, she'd wanted to set up an art gallery in the City to show off her cool webs to bugs who usually wouldn't see them. With help, she eventually accomplishes her goal, and she's very happy about it.

There's also Calcenda... and that other nosk... but I'll stop here lol. Enjoy!

Please tell me about your Soul Sanctum OCs. I would love to read about how other people interpret that place and characterize the bugs associated with it 👀

[bvidzsoo]

No one like you

 Author: bvidzsoo

 Warnings: light swearing, overload of fluff for the light hearted

 Pairing: Kim Mingyu x female reader

 Word count: 15, 074 

 Summary:  On a very important day you get a call from your sister asking you to babysit her daughter. She knows how important the project is for you and wouldn’t have bothered to ask you if it really wasn’t urgent. And you know that, so you reassure her that you’ll babysit Jieun. However, you get a little surprise when Kim Mingyu, your brother-in-law’s best friend, shows up unannounced, did I mention he’s also your ex? 

 A/N: Holy moly what a ride this one shot was writing! I had no idea I had the capacity to write something as fluffy as this bUT! THIS IS KIM MINGYU! and I love Kim Mingyu too much, so this is me channeling my inner love haha. Hope you enjoy it and I would love to read your feedback!

       The studio has been buzzing with people the whole week. The new exposition was going well and I was proud that my works gained so much attention in so little time. I have been painting ever since middle school, a small and innocent passion became the job that allows me to put bread on my table every day. I never imagined that one day I would become a well-known painter, it just seemed surreal. But it happened, in my sophomore year, I painted a little piece for a contest and I won, gaining a lot of attention. Ever since then things changed, but they really only changed after I finished high school. I didn’t go to college, like many of my peers, I downed myself into the world of art and went around Europe, researching and learning as much as I could about the painters. Somewhere along the way, in Switzerland to be exact; I was actually taking a break; is where I met my manager. Hansol Vernon Chwe. He had a fine eye for art, very sophisticated taste and unique views. Through him, I met Xu Minghao, my second-in-hand. Minghao was mesmerizing, his mere presence could capture your whole attention. Everything about him was delicate, his taste was even finer than mine and he was ruthless. He knew what he wanted, always, and wasn’t afraid to demand it. Only wanting the best, always striving to be the best. I’m a perfectionist, I rarely let loose and I’m obsessed with order. Minghao and I clicked instantly, it was love at first sight, in a very platonic way. Ever since Vernon introduced me to him, we’ve been working together. Minghao is a painter as well, his style rigid and very colorful, meanwhile mine is warm and homey. We run the studio together, he’s a few years older. It was his idea to work together, to build the studio together, to give it life together. It was his project of a life time, his very own dream, and when he shared it with me, asked me to join him, I knew I couldn’t refuse him. It was great exposure to the both of us and it wasn’t a big surprise of how well it worked.

I was busy talking to a client when my phone started ringing, cutting my words off. Vernon threw me a displeased look, they were clients from France and they wanted a contract with me, some of my paintings would be exposed in their art gallery if I went through with the deal today, but when my phone rang for the second time, I knew I had to excuse myself. I wouldn’t have to, if it wasn’t my sister calling. She had a different ringtone, on purpose, and she knew I was busy today, so, she wouldn’t have called unless it was something very important.

“I’m so sorry for bothering you!” Were her first words as I picked up, eliciting a chuckle from me.

“Yeah, I’m talking to some very important people, right now, Joohyun. What’s wrong?”

“Wonwoo and I got stuck.” Her sigh was loud and I listened closely, eyebrows furrowing.

“Where?”

“On the highway, we are still three hours away, traffic is insane, again…”

“Okay, what can I do?” I asked, already knowing it involved Jieun, my 4-year-old niece.

“Jieun’s nanny has to leave in an hour, something came up for her…can you go over? Look after her until Wonwoo and I get back?” I bit my lower lip, thinking hard. Can I leave the studio in an hour? The event goes on the whole day and I am supposed to stay. But if Jieun needs me, our parents live on the other side of the country they won’t be able to come in such a short time, I had no choice but to make it work.

“Yeah, sure, don’t worry. I’ll go babysit her.” I reassured Joohyun and she sighed out relieved.

“Thank you, Y/N, you are a life saver!” Came Wonwoo’s deep voice through the speakers, no doubt my sister was using the car’s Bluetooth to speak on the phone.

“Sure thing, Won, see you later. Drive safely, brother-in-law!” After my sister and her husband bid me their goodbye’s I hung up the phone and went to find Minghao and Vernon. Vernon just finished talking to the French clients and as I neared him, he shook his head.

“What could have been more important than this deal?”

“My sister.” I deadpanned and Vernon sighed as he nodded his head.

“Well, I made the deal. So, if you want to back out, we can’t anymore. The paintings we talked about will be shipped off to Lyon next week.”

“That’s alright with me. For how long is the contract?” I let my eyes run over the people inside the studio, eyes falling on Minghao. He was standing next to one of his painting’s, a glass of red wine in his hand as he spoke to three blonde females. They were giving him suggestive smiles but Minghao paid little to no attention to them as gazed at his painting proudly.

“Contract is for two years, Y/N.” Vernon answered me and I nodded with my lips pursed, waving Minghao over once we made eye contact. He excused himself and jogged over, a bright smile on his lips.

“Everything good?” He asked with his honey voice and Vernon nodded.

“So, uhm…” I cleared my throat and looked at them apologetically, “I have to leave in an hour.”

“Oh?” Minghao asked surprised, looking at Vernon to see if he knew about this already, but he didn’t.

“Joohyun called and asked me to babysit Jieun, her babysitter has to leave in an hour.” I explained to the guys and Vernon’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Is there no one else that could go?”

“No, I’m sorry, I really want to stay, but I just—can’t.” I sighed and Vernon nodded in understanding.

Minghao’s eyes lit up in sudden realization as he pointed his glass of wine at me, “Mingyu.”

“Uh…what about Mingyu?” I asked confused, looking at Minghao with furrowed eyebrows.

“Call him and tell him to babysit Jieun instead of you.” He proposed his idea and I took a second to think.

“I’m sure Joohyun and Wonwoo thought of Mingyu first.” Minghao went to cut me off but I raised one finger at him, “Joohyun knows it’s important what we are doing today, she really wouldn’t have called if Mingyu was available, okay?”

“Sure.” Minghao muttered with a sigh and Vernon patted my shoulder reassuringly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything. Minghao will entertain the guests, no doubt.” A teasing grin came onto Vernon’s lips as he took the glass of wine from Minghao.

“Why can’t you do it, huh?” Minghao snapped back, glaring at Vernon when he took a sip from his glass.

“And this is why I didn’t want to leave…” I muttered with a shake of my head, making Vernon chuckle as Minghao shot me a glare.

“We are very competent of running things on our own, Y/N, thank you very much.” I gave Minghao a look before he returned it, challenging me. Sometimes our personalities would clash together, one more stubborn than the other.

“Chill, guys,” Vernon raised a hand in the air to get our attention, our mediator in tense moments, “Y/N, you should greet Mr. Yoon’s grandmother before you leave, she’s been looking for you.”

“Of course!” My face lit up at the mention of Grandma Yoon, the old lady having been a very loyal customer of mine. I met her through the contest back in high school and ever since we’ve kept in touch. She used to think Yoon Jeonghan, her charming nephew, and I would become a thing. She was really convinced she could make us date, but Jeonghan and I were too different. And to be fairly honest, I’m not someone very interested in relationships. I’m fine on my own, I don’t mind not having a partner. It was long since someone held me in their arms and kissed my forehead softly, but my art required a lot of attention and time that I wasn’t willing to sacrifice for someone else. I’ve been on a few dates since high school, but they never worked out. I blamed them on my atrociously high expectations but those weren’t the reasons for my failed love life. It was a person that I never truly got over, he ruined me in the best way possible, and now I just can’t find anyone that could live up to his level. No one. And it was frustrating until I realized I didn’t actual need someone to feel completed and happy. Excusing myself from Minghao and Vernon, I went around the studio with a smile on my face, searching for Grandma Yoon and Jeonghan.

       The car ride to my sister’s house took a lot longer than usual, traffic at noon was horrible in the city. I was at least fifteen minutes late by the time I pulled in their driveway, quickly getting out of the car, big bag full of supplies almost falling from my hand. I locked my car and rushed to the front door, ringing the bell. It took three seconds and the door was thrown open, a relieved look on the nanny’s face.

“I’m sorry, traffic was really bad today.” I shot an apologetic smile to the nanny and she opened the door wider, to let me step inside.

“I understand, thank you so much for coming!” She bowed her head as she pulled on her coat, stepping outside the door, “It’s really urgent.”

“Hurry, then…” I motioned for her to leave with my head and she bowed a bit before rushing away, leaving me shaking my head. I closed the door and threw my heels off, music coming from the living room. I smiled to myself when a girly voice echoed to the hallway, singing along to the lyrics. I left my green, thin, coat hanging on the hanger and gripping my heavy bag with both hands, I headed towards the living room. My sister’s house was big and beautiful. Her and Wonwoo have a simple yet sophisticated taste. Their house looked a thousand times better than my apartment. As clean as I am, my apartment could be a mess from time to time. Especially my art room, where I paint, that one was always a mess. But for me that mess was order, I always knew where everything was and found whatever I was looking for within seconds. As I walked down the hallway to the living room, I gazed at the pictures in white frames that were hung up on the white walls. The pictures were of Wonwoo, Joohyun and Jieun, mostly. There were a few family portraits from both parties, Wonwoo and Joohyun, and there were even some of me and Mingyu. Actually, the one who took almost every picture was Mingyu. He has had a passion for photography since high school and continued to do it as a side job, even currently. He was borderline an artsy, borderline a jock kind of guy throughout high school, maybe that’s why he attracted all kinds of girls. Myself included.

“What a nice voice you have, Jieun!” I exclaimed as I let my bag fall to the floor once I made it into the living room’s doorway.

Jieun’s head turned away and a big gummy smile, nose scrunched up, spread on her soft face, “Auntie Y/N! You came!”

“Of course, I came, auntie wouldn’t miss any chance of spending time with her favorite girl in this whole world!” Jieun started giggling loudly as I spoke in a funny way, jumping my way towards her.

“I’m really your favorite girl?” She asked with another giggle as I reached her and scooped her up in my arms. Her weight wasn’t something I couldn’t handle; she was only four after all.

“Well…it might be Joohyun, but—”

“Auntie, bad auntie!” Jieun whined with a pout and I grinned at her, kissing her cheek.

“Bad auntie, I know.” I muttered and she pressed a soft kiss to my cheek, so I placed her down, “What were you doing with your nanny?”

“We studied a little bit of numbers, then I wanted to watch cartoons and she promised to make some French fries for me but—she’s gone now.” Jieun’s lips formed a pout and she oddly resembled a little bunny, cheeks puffing up. I laughed and crouched down in front of her.

“So, here’s my plan…” I motioned for her to lean as if I was sharing a secret with her, “Auntie brought some of her painting stuff over…so, after we paint a bit, I will make French fries for you. Cool?”

“Cool!” Jieun exclaimed loudly, clapping her hands together. I winked at her and went to grab my bag from the doorway, dragging it to the coffee table. I glanced at her as I opened the bag, her big eyes shone with excitement; she loved drawing and painting; and her nose scrunched up in the most adorable way as she smiled. She was an oddly mix of both Joohyun and Wonwoo. Sometimes, the two would start bickering about who she looked more like…in those time, of course Mingyu and I would have to interfere, and of course Mingyu would be on Wonwoo’s side meanwhile I was on Joohyun’s, just to balance out everything. But when Jieun smiled, she was the exact replica of Wonwoo, nose scrunching in the same way and eyes disappearing almost. When she was serious or pouting, she looked like Joohyun with her big eyes and delicate lips. Her beautiful dark hair reached her shoulders and she’d always brush her bangs out of her eyes, especially when she was frustrated with something. And oh my God, she was one of the most stubborn kids I’ve ever met. She knew how to manipulate people, even at the age of four, and most of the time got what she wanted. She inherited Joohyun and Wonwoo’s calm natures, never being a hyper child, nor too loud. She could be a little angel but she had her moments when she was hard to deal with.

“So…” I looked at Jieun as she kept smiling at me, “Do you have anything in mind that you’d like to paint?”

She sat on her knees close to the coffee table as she stared down at the smaller white canvas I placed on the table for her. All kinds of brushes and colors lay on the table, Jieun’s eyes running over them eagerly.

“Nothing special, maybe some trees…a blue sky…green grass…something nice.” She mused, more to herself, and I chuckled quietly as I shook my head. One day, my little Jieun, would turn into a big painter herself, making her auntie proud.

“Sounds excellent,” I raised my thumb up at her and she giggled, “Should we start?”

“Yes!” She exclaimed and quickly claimed her brush, asking me to pour some blue paint onto her palette. I did as I was asked and watched as her tongue darted out and eyebrows furrowed as she mentally imagined where she’d place the sky.

“Auntie, will you not paint?” She gave me a quick glance before swiping her brush against the canvas.

“Not today, I’m taking a break.” I answered her as I leaned against the sofa, watching her paint, “Auntie has worked really hard the past three months, I need some rest.”

“Don’t you paint though because it makes you relax?” Her eyebrows rose as she tried to lighten the blue color she placed on her canvas.

“That’s true, but I’m wearing white pants…” I trailed off with a lame excuse, making Jieun throw me an amused glance. I giggled when she shook her head, it made me feel like I was the kid and she was the adult. Jieun, sometimes, would act really mature for her age, saying meaningful things without realizing the weight of her words. Mingyu always blamed it on Wonwoo and Joohyun, who would never fail to remind their daughter certain things that would form her into a decent human being later on in life.

“I’m so excited!” Jieun giggled as she pointed at the yellow paint, and I took and pushed some of it onto her palette.

“Do you like painting so much?” I chuckled and Jieun nodded, “That makes auntie really happy!”

“Yes but no!” She exclaimed and I raised my eyebrows at her as she attempted to paint a big sun onto the blue sky she just painted, “Uncle is coming over too!”

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked surprised at the little girl sitting next to me, Mingyu is coming over?

“Did you speak to mommy and daddy, Jieun?”

“Yes, they said uncle Mingyu couldn’t make it in time so they will ask you to come instead.” She hummed and grinned at me before turning back to her canvas.

“Ah, so Mingyu isn’t really coming over…” I let out a sigh, pleased to hear he wouldn’t show up today. I haven’t seen him in over a month, and meanwhile it was a long time, it was actually refreshing. I didn’t have much time to spend time with my family as I was busy with the studio and the project Minghao and I have been working on. Mingyu was considered family, even though he wasn’t related to anyone. It’s just the way it is, Wonwoo and him grew up together, it was only natural Wonwoo considered him his brother. So that made him, indirectly, Joohyun’s brother-in-law and my…well, brother-in-law? I wasn’t really sure, it didn’t matter, I didn’t consider Mingyu really family either way. It was just weird, to look at him and think ‘oh yeah, he’s like my bro’, because we have dated in high school before, for two years. Two years of bliss and pure happiness, two years I wish I could time travel back to.

“But uncle is still coming over though…” Jieun muttered to herself and my eyebrows furrowed, but I ignored her comment. She just misunderstood what her mom and dad told her. Mingyu couldn’t make it today, so they called me instead. Just like I suspected, I knew Joohyun wouldn’t have bothered me if she had other options.

Painting the canvas went well and in-an-hour Jieun was finished, happy and proud of her work. She asked me to critically asses her painting and so I did, entertaining my little niece furthermore, her giggles filling the living room. She was so loud that I didn’t even hear the front door opening, a mistake on my part as I forgot to lock it, and the deep voice made me jump upon I heard it.

“And what do we have here…” My eyes were wide as my heart beat quickly, a loud squeal leaving Jieun’s lips before he was up on her feet, dashing towards the giant standing in the doorway. Mingyu was grinning down widely at Jieun as he scooped her up in his strong, and well-built, arms, his sharp canines showing off when his smile widened more. His black hair was disheveled, probably because he continuously runs his hand through it, and the sides stuck to his face, still wet. He was wearing black shorts that reached his knees and a sleeveless blue loose tank top, a silver chain dangling from his neck. I quickly caught myself ogling him and huffed as I rose to my feet, arms crossing in front of my chest. Truly, who knew not seeing him for a month would make him look more attractive? Mingyu, no doubt, had an incredible glow up since high school. If he would’ve looked like this during high school too, I’m sure all the girls would’ve lined up in front of his classroom to bring him all sorts of things. But even as handsome as he was now, I found him plain. Maybe because I’ve known him for a long time now, and don’t get me wrong, plain not in a bad way…he was just, plain, transparent.

“Look how excited you are to see uncle!” Mingyu teased Jieun as he poked her stomach, eliciting a loud shriek. I couldn’t help it but smile, having a big weakness for Mingyu and Jieun together. And alone, just…when it came to Mingyu, after all those years, he was still my one and only weakness. It amazed me how I never got over him one hundred percent, I just couldn’t. But I didn’t want to either, not when his flaws seemed perfect too.

“Because I love uncle!” Jieun grinned at Mingyu, nose scrunching up making Mingyu giggle.

“Of course, you love me! I’m the best uncle ever!” Jieun cheered with Mingyu as he started dancing around with her still in his arms, Jieun poking Mingyu’s cheek.

“Finally, uncle and auntie are together!” Jieun cried out as Mingyu started tickling her sides, making her laughter echo loudly in the house. It seemed like realization dawned on him upon he heard Jieun’s words, he seemed to realize that there was another person there with them, standing a few feet away, smiling at them. Mingyu stopped moving and Jieun giggled quietly, trying to catch her breath from being tickled, throwing her arms around Mingyu’s neck to give him a tight hug. Mingyu’s gaze locked with mine and I kept my smile on as he returned it.

“Look who finally showed up!” He teased and put Jieun down, acting as if his muscles were sore from holding her and he earned a light slap from Jieun.

“Well, hello,” I said with a chuckle as Mingyu walked further inside the living room, headed my direction, “Long time no see, old friend.”

“A month, to be exact.” Mingyu said, suddenly serious, as he stopped in front of me, “Are you ignoring us now?”

“As if you don’t know…” I rolled my eyes and undid my arms that were in front of my chest, to turn and walk away, but Mingyu was fast and he was already pulling me in a hug. His body was bigger than mine and whenever he hugged me, I felt like I was melting into him, disappearing from the world. This time wasn’t different, in fact, it felt like his body swallowed mine all up as he gripped me tightly. One month was really that long of a time, huh. I returned the hug, suddenly realizing his tank top was damp and he didn’t smell exactly the most pleasant, at least his usual cologne was less strong, “I was busy with the studio and—are you sweating?”

“Right now?” Mingyu started laughing and his chest rocked against mine, my eyes widened, realization hitting me. He just finished work!

“Ew, Kim Mingyu, get off!” I shrieked and tried to wrestle myself out of his bear hug, but he squeezed harder and started laughing louder and louder, “You’re sweaty, no, stop!”

“Too late, dummy!” He said while laughing and twirled me around, very amused that I couldn’t get away from him.

“Don’t make me kneel you where the sun doesn’t shine!” I threatened with a deadly voice and in two second, he let go of me, “You’re disgusting!”

“That’s not something nice to say to someone, auntie…” We heard Jieun in the background say very lightheartedly.

“That’s right, Jieunie…” Mingyu said with a pout, leaning his face closer to mine. I quickly pushed it back and it made Mingyu snort before he glanced at the canvas on the coffee table.

“Oh! Did you paint this Jieun?” He asked, eyes wide and mouth open.

“Do you like it?” Jieun asked happily, bouncing on her toes.

“Love it! It’s so beautiful!”

“Thank you!” Jieun giggled and I patted her head as she came to stand by my side, grinning at Mingyu, “Next time I could paint you!”

“Oh, uncle would love that!” Mingyu winked at Jieun playfully as he looked back at me, “Missed you, Y/N.”

My heartbeat quickened and I snorted, very unladylike, as I rolled my eyes, “Yeah, sure…Can’t say I missed you very much, I guess—Yeah, kinda? A bit, yeah, I missed you too, idiot.”

“Wow,” Mingyu breathed out, an amused smile on his lips, “That sounded like you got a brain malfunction, glad to see I still make you flustered, Bae.”

“Don’t call me Bae.” I snapped at him, eyes narrowing as Mingyu went to the doorway, picking up his discarded backpack.

“Isn’t that your family name, Bae?” A sneaky smirk crossed his lips, he knew what he was doing. Of course, that is my family name but he is using it knowing it has double meaning.

“Go take a shower Kim, you stink.” I pinched the bridge of my nose with two fingers, making Jieun laugh loudly as she pointed at Mingyu.

“Auntie is making fun of you!”

“Didn’t Wonwoo hyung teach you to not point fingers or make fun of someone, Jieun?” Mingyu’s voice turned stern, but his expression remained light. Jieun, however, knew Mingyu was being serious and scolding her.

“Sorry,” She muttered with a pout and hid her face in my pants as she turned her body into me.

“Go shower, before I cut off the warm water, you dick—” I sucked in a deep breath at the almost slip, it was already bad that I let dick slip, as Mingyu started hollering with laughter.

“Good luck explaining that to Wonwoo and Joohyun later, bae.” He called as he walked down the hallway and towards the bathroom, laughter following him. I cursed in my head as I looked down at Jieun, a big smile on her lips.

“Dick?” She asked with a giggle and my eyes widened in mortification.

“Jieun, no! Never ever say that to anyone, okay?!” I snapped, eyes narrowing at her as I leaned down to be eye level with her, “Auntie will cry if you do, I swear, Jieun.”

“Auntie will be sad if I say…dick?” She giggled again and I glared at her, trying to make her understand she couldn’t say that. How do you make a kid stop from saying a bad word? Help?!

“Auntie will bawl, Jieun, not cry, bawl!” I emphasized the word, knowing how much Jieun hated seeing people cry.

“Okay, I won’t say it at all,” She raised her pinky finger and hooked it with mine, “Pinky promise.”

“Pinky promise.” I echoed after her, biting my lower lip nervously. This will come back and bite me in the ass later, I know it, and that’s when I’ll really be bawling. Especially if Joohyun will be shouting my head off with Wonwoo throwing daggers at me, dear God, what have I done?

       Jieun was beyond excited when I told her that I would have to cook lunch for us now, and she even volunteered to watch some Barbie movie while I do that. She knew I didn’t like other people in the kitchen with me while I was cooking, I always worked better alone. Mingyu was in the shower still, his phone blasting some upbeat song that we could hear clear and loud from the living room, hallway, and even a little bit from the kitchen. I shook my head as I turned on the Barbie movie for Jieun, Rapunzel, and walked to the kitchen while throwing daggers towards the closed and locked bathroom door. Mingyu always had weird habits but ever since we finished high school, he started developing some even weirder and annoying ones, like blasting music while showering. Maybe if it was Mozart or some jazz music it wouldn’t have bothered me, but the kind of music he listened to were men and women screaming and throwing out nasty words while saying them fast, that’s not music in my opinion. But I learned not to question him about many things, his rants would leave me with a headache afterwards, he always spoke too quickly which messed with my brain. He definitely wasn’t a very patient person and it showed in many ways.

I opened the fridge and took out everything I needed for lunch. I promised to make French fries for Jieun so that was the first thing I started working on. I washed the potatoes before peeling them and washing them again, then I placed them in a bowl and started cutting them up into long, thin, sticks. Without realizing, I found myself humming a ballad I heard a while ago while preparing the studio. It was a beautiful song about a man who regretted letting go of its lover, realizing too late what an amazing person this was. I could relate, almost, but it wasn’t me who broke up with Mingyu. He wanted us to break up, so I didn’t have much choice but to move on. Something I actually failed doing, only partially though.

I prepared the oil for the fries, placing it in a pan and putting it on the cooker, waiting for it to boil. I washed some vegetables and started cutting them, preparing a salad with some yoghurt and lemon dressing. I placed the first round of fries into the pan and hissed when some hot oil collided with the skin of my wrist, I always hated cooking with oil, that shit hurt when it burned you. As I moved around the kitchen, trying to find the salt that seemed to always be in a different cupboard, I became aware of the silence coming from the bathroom. Mingyu must have finished washing up, I strained my ears and was able to hear the Barbie movie still playing in the living room. I went back to the fridge and took out the meat that Joohyun placed there last night to defrost and took it to the chopping board. I took out the sharpest knife from the drawer bellow and started slicing up the meat into, somewhat, even pieces. I always found the cleaning and slicing of meat disgusting, nowadays, I didn’t even cook it anymore for myself. But Mingyu and Jieun really liked meat, and it seems like Joohyun had in mind to prepare it today, so I sacrificed myself to cooking it, not that it’s a big deal.

“Mhm, smells good in here,” The male voice made me flinch, I always get scared from the smallest things, “What are we cooking today?”

I heard shuffling from behind as Mingyu walked further inside the kitchen, his big feet thudding loudly against the marble floor.

“I’m cooking today.” I said as I proceeded to cut off the excess fat from the meat.

“You really don’t expect me to sit back and watch you cook?” Mingyu sounded amused and I knew I couldn’t really argue with him. He loved cooking and he was really good at it too.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind…” I trailed off as I crouched down to open the cupboard and take out a bowl, “You know I don’t like people bothering me when I do something.”

“Yeah, and if it wasn’t for me, your first round of French fries would’ve turned into ashes.” I rolled my eyes as Mingyu took his position at the cooker, taking out the French fries and dumping them into a deep bowl.

“I was about to check it…” I muttered as I proceeded to season the meat, licking the mixture from my palm. It tasted fine but I needed to mix it better so I proceeded to do that.

“From what I can see, you do need an extra pair of hands here…” Mingyu muttered with a chuckle and I felt him passing behind me to wash his hands in the sink, “Not that I wouldn’t mind sitting and watching you move around—those pants really do their justice to your ass—”

“Kim Mingyu.” I snapped and rolled my eyes, refusing to look at him and let him see the redness of my cheeks. I swear to God, he says things like that on purpose just to make me flustered. And they always work.

“What? I’m just giving you a compliment here!” He said defensively and passed again behind my back, coming a lot closer and I clenched my jaw.

“Slap my ass and I will cut off your fingers.” I warned, knowing him well enough, and Mingyu started giggling as he quickly ran past me, coming to a stop in front of the cooker. He placed the second round of potatoes into the boiling oil, no complaints coming, unlike from me. His technique was always better. I licked my finger again and hummed contently, about to wash my hands when Mingyu spoke up.

“Let me taste it!” He whined and I rolled my eyes, heading for the sink.

“When it’s done.” I muttered as I turned on the water, hand almost underneath it, when a large hand gripped my wrist and raised it up.

“Mingyu—” I choked on air when he proceeded to such off the mixture from my middle finger, knocking all air out of my lungs. He hummed with his eyes closed, lips in a pout as he released my finger from his mouth. My heart went crazy and my jaw hung open, I shifted from one leg to the other, saliva pooling in my mouth. What the fuck?!

And then my eyes proceeded to travel lower and now I was definitely turned on, “What the fuck?!”

His eyebrows rose and he looked confused as he followed my eyes, which were currently on his well defined six pack. Jesus Christ, woman, as if you haven’t seen men with six packs before! Yeah, but those men weren’t Kim Mingyu…The hand he was still holding twitched and I snatched out of his hold, mustering up my most frightening glare as my eyes connected with his. It took a lot of power to punch his biceps instead of his, very firm looking and broad, chest.

“Go put on a shirt, Jesus, Jieun doesn’t need to see you shirtless.” I scolded him and quickly turned around and washed off the mixture, before he decided to lick my whole hand clean.

“I don’t see Jieun around though…” I could hear the smirk in Mingyu’s voice and I scoffed as I rolled my eyes aggressively.

“Here or not, go put on a shirt, dickhead, no one is curious of your body. This isn’t the gym, Mingyu.” I muttered aggressively, avoiding to look at him as I reached for the towel to dry my hands, knowing well if I looked at him my eyes would be drawn to his chest instead of his face. I tensed and groaned in annoyance when Mingyu’s front was suddenly pressed up against my back, his warm enveloping mine. I hate how easily he could tease me and how easy it is to make me react; how easy it was for him to play around. I knew he only teased me because he lived for my reactions, but deep down I always hoped it was because there were still some lingering feelings for me. Maybe not, he broke up with me, after all.

“You left the water running, Y/N,” He muttered, voice low as he was so close, his breath tickled my exposed shoulder and I tried not to cover away, “Joohyun and Wonwoo won’t be too happy when their bill comes.”

“Yeah, well, how about you learn what personal space is?!” I snapped as I placed the towel down forcefully, wanting to turn around but knowing I couldn’t resist looking at his toned body, I stayed put instead.

“And miss all the reactions you give me?” He giggled as he placed his chin on my shoulder, making me sigh out loud, “That would be a total waste of my time.”

“And a lot of saving of my energy—your potatoes will turn into ash soon, so how about you move?” I raised my elbow and let it collide with his abdomen, not too harshly though. Mingyu giggled again and suddenly a new voice rang through the kitchen.

“Uncle, you’ve finished showering!” I panicked as I didn’t want Jieun to see us like this, she would tell her mom everything and I didn’t want Joohyun and Wonwoo smirking at us the next time we’ll have dinner together, “Why didn’t you tell me you’re cooking?”

Jieun was pouting and I hissed when Mingyu did nothing to move, looking at Jieun with a smug smile, “I want to help too!”

“Sure, sweetie, uncle was about to make some sandwiches, do you want to help?” Mingyu cooed at Jieun and I elbowed him again, harder this time, to make him step back. He groaned in pain and finally put distance between our bodies, when suddenly I felt teeth sinking into my shoulder.

“What the fuck?!” I couldn’t help but cry out and turn around sharply to slap a smirking Mingyu. I started back at him wide eyed as he started cackling, unphased by my slap to his side this time.

“Uncle will go and put on a shirt if he wants to live.” I said with a forced smile as I gave Mingyu a look, eyebrows raising at him, “Or do I have to make you wear one? Like a little kid?”

“Oh, bae, I can do that fine on my own.” He laughed as he walked to the table, where his grey shirt, with a deep V, was thrown down on.

“What is fuck?” Jieun asked, eyebrows furrowed, and my eyes widened as Mingyu started hollering with laughter again.

“Yeah, auntie, what is fuck?” Mingyu smirked once he was able to speak, hid laughter having died down, “I’m really curious too.”

I glared at both Mingyu and Jieun, placing my arms on my hips as I took a deep breath, “A very ugly word that only adults can use, alright?”

“Well, that’s unfortunate for you, Jieun.” Mingyu said with a shrug as he went to take the bread.

Jieun stuck her tongue out at Mingyu and I smirked as I walked towards the oven to take out the roasting tray, “I said adults, Mingyu.”

Jieun started giggling loudly and Mingyu threw me a glare as he paused slicing up the bread for the sandwiches he planned on making.

“Hand me some ham, cheese, tomatoes and lettuce, Jieunie.” Mingyu asked the little girl, watching me still as I stuck my tongue out at him before I started placing the meat into the roasting tray. Jieun pulled a chair to the fridge, climbed on it and started taking out the items Mingyu asked for.

“Thank you.” He thanked her when she waltzed back to him, grinning at Mingyu as she sat at the table, chin in her palms. I grinned at Jieun, she looked really cute. I quickly remembered the French fries and placed another round into the boiling oil, making me hiss when it went on my skin, again.

“You okay, auntie?” Jieun muttered as she threw me a glance, her eyes going back to Mingyu, who was assembling the sandwiches now.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry.” I smiled towards the girl before turning up the heat in the oven and placing the meat inside. I turned around and leaned against the counter and watched Mingyu work. His back was a bit hunched as he is very tall, his muscles flexing from time to time as he used his hands to make the sandwiches and he kept making faces at Jieun. He beaconed her over and let her place the round tomatoes into each sandwich, poking her nose and praising her once she was done. I sighed and checked on the potatoes again, stirring them a bit around.

“I have an awesome idea,” Mingyu spoke up, canines showing from how big his smile was, “Let’s have a picnic!”

“A picnic!” Jieun exclaimed, jumping up from her seat, “Auntie! We are having a picnic!”

I chuckled and nodded my head, looking at Mingyu with an impressed smile, “Seems like we are having a picnic!”

“I’m having a picnic with my favorite auntie and uncle!” Jieun shouted as she ran out into the hallway, “I will go and change! I want to wear something pretty!”

Mingyu and I laughed quietly as Jieun ran up the stairs, her feet thudding loudly upstairs as she went to her room to get changed. My eyes fell back on Mingyu, he was already looking at me, and he smiled warmly. I returned it and before I turned around, he sent a wink. I winked back and shook my head as I went to open the cupboards, looking for a tablecloth.

“I’ll prepare what we need for the picnic.” I informed Mingyu and he hummed.

“I’ll finish the rest of the potatoes, how long until the meat is done?”

“Forty-five more minutes.” I said after I glanced at my wristwatch, going around the kitchen to get the plates, utensils’ and what we else we needed.

       When forty-five minutes were up, the three of us went outside in the little garden behind the house. It was a good day, the sun high up in the sky with a few clouds here and there, and it was warm enough that you could wear a tank top and a cardigan over it. Spring was always a season I enjoyed the most. The pleasure of seeing everything bloom to life once again brought great joy for me. Taking walks in parks while the trees and grass turn once again green is a certain satisfaction you understand only if you experience it.

Meanwhile Mingyu prepared a few more dishes with Jieun’s help, I placed a blanket onto the grass and started carrying outside plates, utensils, glasses, apple juice and the food that was prepared, one by one. Jieun bounced around me the whole time, talking loudly and quickly as she told Mingyu to hurry up and bring the meat out so that we could start eating.

“Jieun,” I spoke up, looking up from my kneeling position on the blanket, “Go put on your denim jacket, sweetie, you might catch a cold in a simple t-shirt.”

“Do I have to?” She whined, lips jutting out and eyebrows furrowing.

“Yes, you do.” I gave her a look that she knew she couldn’t argue with, so she rose to her feet and ran back inside almost crashing into Mingyu when he appeared in the doorway.

“Woah, chipmunk!” He exclaimed, clutching the plate close to his chest, “We almost lost the meat!”

I giggled and shook my head at Mingyu, his eyebrows were furrowed as he turned around to shout back inside the house, making sure Jieun heard him. I sat down on the blanket, sighing out as I massaged my sore knees, I kneeled for too long.

“Stop being dramatic and bring that here.” I said when Mingyu turned back around, shaking his head in displeasure, exiting the house, “You hang out too much with Jeonghan.”

“I don’t,” He scoffed as he handed me the plate before taking a seat on the blanket, “I haven’t seen him in three weeks.”

“Oh no, did he finally ditch you?” I teased with a grin and Mingyu rolled his eyes.

“You wish, he’s my most loyal client!” Mingyu exclaimed, a proud smirk on his lips.

“Is he becoming as buff as you are?” I found myself asking absentmindedly, hating that I was confessing to having checked him out many times. It’s not my fault, his body is eye catching. The whole existence of Kim Mingyu is eye catching. You’d be a fool to be in a room and not notice him, his sole presence is powerful and like a magnet.

“Oh, so I’m buff?” I rolled my eyes as Jieun came running out the house.

“Yeah, whatever,” I muttered, smiling when Jieun plopped down next to me, “Ready to have lunch?”

“This is the best day of my life!” Jieun screeched and I chuckled, poking her cute cheek. Mingyu giggled quietly, grabbing a plate and starting to put various foods on it. Jieun watched him eagerly and so did I, failing to notice the fond smile on my lips.

“This one is for the princess,” He deepened his voice and did a little bow as he handed Jieun the plate, “From your loyal servant, Kim Mingyu.”

“No!” Jieun giggled, taking the plate excitedly, “You are uncle Mingyu! Not my servant!”

“Let me spoil you for a second, Jieun…” Mingyu said with a sigh, grabbing another plate. I handed Jieun her fork, she still struggled with her chopsticks, and placed a napkin on her lap.

“Don’t stain your pretty skirt, okay?” I asked and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

“Don’t pressure her, Y/N,” Mingyu shot me a look, “Don’t worry about that, Jieunie, just eat freely!”

“You really do spoil her too much…” I chuckled, leaning forward to grab a plate but Mingyu slapped my hand away, “No wonder Joohyun complains about you.”

“She does?!” Mingyu made an offended sound and I watched as the, now, plate full of food was handed at me.

“Thank you.” I muttered with a smile, suddenly feeling shy at the look he was giving me. I looked away and turned my head quickly, reaching for my chopsticks. Mingyu remained quiet and I could feel him still looking at me but Jieun spoke up.

“The French fries are so good!” She exclaimed, making a ‘mm’ sound as she stuffed her mouth with more, “You cook better than mommy and daddy!”

“We do?” I asked with a laugh, glancing at Mingyu, who was smiling smugly.

“Of course, we do!” He gave me a look, “You’re sitting next to Korea’s biggest chef!”

“You wish.” I snorted meanwhile Jieun started giggling, shooting finger guns at Mingyu who winked back at her. It was heartwarming to see Mingyu and Jieun interact, their personalities were weirdly quite similar. Except, Mingyu was acting like a child sometimes as an adult and Jieun was still a child, she had an excuse. I liked spending my time with the two, I felt refreshed and full of positive energy afterwards. Even Mingyu’s teasing could feel pleasant after a long and tiring day at the studio.

“How’s the studio going?” My ears perked up when Mingyu spoke up, eyes on me.

“Oh, pretty well,” I said after swallowing, “The exposition is going well, I wish I was there…”

“Yeah, sorry,” Mingyu scratched his chin, shooting me an apologetic smile, “I thought I wouldn’t be able to come look after Jieun today, that’s why I told Joohyun to ask you. I had three more clients that were supposed to come in but Jeonghan is apparently sick, the other pulled a muscle two days ago and can barely walk and well the third one—I forgot.”

“You always forget things, uncle…” Jieun said with a giggle, dipping her French fry into ketchup. I leaned over the bowls placed in front of me on the blanket and grabbed the one with the salad.

“You have to eat vegetables to stay healthy, Jieun, not just junk food.” I said as I pushed a bit of the salad on Jieun’s plate, making her scrunch up her nose in disgust.

“You’re like dad, ew.” She muttered, shooting me a cute glare. I giggled and put the bowl down, turning towards Mingyu.

“I get it, don’t worry…” I reassured him with a smile, eating more of the meat from my plate, “I just worked so hard for this exposition and—you know Vernon and Minghao! They always find something to disagree on and to be honest, I hope they can keep it together at least until the event is over…”

Mingyu’s eyebrows furrowed as he nodded in understanding and he placed his right hand on my thigh, giving it a small squeeze, “Don’t worry, Vernon and Minghao know how much this means to you. And, besides, they would be jeopardizing themselves too if they fuck up, so…maybe that’ll make you sleep better at night—”

I started laughing, loudly, as I squeezed my eyes shut the food still in my mouth. Mingyu paused talking and his eyebrows were raised as he exchanged glances with a confused looking Jieun. It made me laugh more and I had to place my plate down and swallow carefully, my body rocking with laughter.

“Uh—I’m sure what I said wasn’t that funny—” And then Jieun started laughing too and I couldn’t help it but laugh harder. Jieun was clapping her hands excessively as she kept pointing her finger at Mingyu’s face, unable to say much.

“Un—uncle—you—” I tried to take deep breaths and calm down. Mingyu’s confused face turned into an angry expression, plate sitting on his thigh, as he crossed his arms in front of broad chest.

“What.” He snapped, eyes falling on me now that I stopped laughing.

“You—” I took a deep breath, calming my racing heart and clutching my stomach, “Have salad stuck between your front teeth, I’m sorry—”

I started giggling again and Mingyu’s eyes widened as he started chuckling, sticking his finger in his mouth to take care of the stray salad stuck between his teeth.

“Ew, uncle!” Jieun screeched, closing her eyes, “Cover your mouth when you do that!”

“Yeah, did your parents never teach you that’s disgusting?” I threw him a disgusted look and Mingyu grinned once he cleaned his teeth.

“You dared to laugh, at me,” He pointed at himself, straightening his back, “The great, Kim Mingyu?”

“Please…” I rolled my eyes with a scoff and gave Jieun a look, a look she returned with an amused grin.

“You shall face the punishment now!” I scoffed again and Mingyu leaned over the food and started poking Jieun’s sides, making her laugh again. She swatted at his fingers, throwing him a glare when he stopped.

“That’s not funny…” She muttered to herself as she resumed eating and I chuckled about to eat as well, when I felt a jab in my side.

“You don’t want to do this, Kim Mingyu,” I warned him, pointing a chopstick at him, “We both know you are more ticklish…”

“A punishment is a punishment, bae.” I rolled my eyes at the nickname but of course, Mingyu quickly started tickling my side and I started jabbing him with my chopstick wherever I could.

“Fight, fight, fight!” Jieun started chanting playfully and I huffed as I caught Mingyu’s wrist and stopped him.

“Seriously, don’t.” He pouted and pulled his arm back, throwing me a glance.

“You’re no fun.”

“Do you want me to tickle you?” I raised my eyebrows, wriggling my fingers when Mingyu glared.

“No.”

“That’s what I thought.”

Halfway through the meal, Jieun said she had enough and got up and ran to the little swing they had for her in the garden. Mingyu and I remained on the blanket, splitting what Jieun left on her plate and eating that too. Once we were finished, I poured him some apple juice, then for myself, and we drank it quietly while watching Jieun run around. I chuckled when she started playing with a small butterfly flying by, handing my cup to Mingyu when he asked for it. He gathered our plates, the bowls of food and put them on the far end of the blanket, away from us so that it wouldn’t bother us. Mingyu was leaning back on his forearms as his eyes followed Jieun around, a fond smile on his lips. I sighed and glanced at him, my eyes falling on the black camera resting by his thigh.

“How’s that business going?” I spoke, getting Mingyu’s attention. He followed my vision of line and nodded his head lightly.

“Pretty well,” He said, picking up the camera in his hands, “I’m collaborating with a high school currently, so I’m taking graduation pictures of their seniors.”

My lips formed an ‘O’ shape and I gave him a smirk, “You must be pretty famous around that high school.”

Mingyu chuckled and nodded his head, “Can’t say I’m not, Y/N.”

“Right, can’t remember a time you weren’t famous…” I trailed off, the two of us sharing a knowing look. Mingyu nodded solemnly and then raised his camera, turning it on.

“Two weeks ago, I had a wedding, that one was a big hit, made a lot of money!” He said with a grin, looking into his camera as he pointed it up towards the sky. I looked up and saw the sky was covered with more clouds now, but the sun was still shining brightly.

“I wanted to ask you to come to our studio for today, but Vernon and Minghao apparently booked a really famous photographer so, you know…I didn’t want to say no to them…”

“Yeah, that’s fine!” Mingyu shrugged and started grinning as he took pictures of Jieun, “Your events are way too prestigious, I might have turned down your offer either way.”

“No, you wouldn’t have, Mingyu.” I chuckled, raising my eyebrows and making him glance at me.

“You sound so sure…why not?”

“Because it’s me asking.” Mingyu’s finger paused mid-air and he gulped before nodding his head wordlessly. It’s moments like this one that give me hope, hope that he still feels something for me. Even if it’s been five years. It was enough time for us to get over the other, but having to spend so much time together again made me realize that I wasn’t even far from being over him. Maybe it’s the memories we share, the time spent together, the pleasant moments, the hardships or the person I shaped into while being with him, but it was really hard to look at him and not feel something more than just platonic feelings. It came as a shock after we finished high school to find out that Joohyun and Wonwoo have been dating for two years in secret. No one ever saw it coming, they never left any hints for us to pick up on, it just seemed like they got along due to Mingyu and I dating and always being together. Turns out, they were dating too at the same time with us, except their relationship worked out. And I couldn’t have been happier, they were perfect for each other and they blessed us with little Jieun, the sweetest kid. When Jieun turned two, Joohyun and Wonwoo decided to get married and tie the knot for a lifetime. I was a little jealous when we got the news of their marriage, I always thought I’d be the one to get married first as Joohyun was closed off and wasn’t ever interested in dating or having a family. I guess it was just a matter of time and person.

My eyes widened when the camera made a sound, this time directed at me. Mingyu was grinning as he kept snapping picture after picture and I raised my middle finger at him while sticking my tongue out.

“Hey!” He gave me a glare before turning the camera back to Jieun, snapping a picture of her as she was playing with the flowers, making a crown for herself, “Look at this!”

Mingyu’s canines showed again as his grin spread bigger, he scooted closer, “Joohyun will love this shot!”

It was a close up of Jieun, she was crouched down with yellow flowers in her hands, her dark hair falling around her shoulders and lips in a soft pout. I smiled and looked at Mingyu, “Why don’t you drop the gym and turn into a professional photographer? You are so talented.”

“Y/N,” He gave me a grin and a scoff, as if I already knew the answer, “You know photography is just a hobby for me—”

“Doesn’t it pay better than that smelly gym you work at?” I interrupted him with my eyebrows raised. He chuckled and shook his head as he turned around to take more pictures of the nature.

“Smelly or not, I really like working there…” He muttered and Jieun shrieked, alerting us.

“Jieun?” I asked loudly, eyebrows raised when she turned around, she was holding something brown between her fingers.

“It’s a caterpillar!” She exclaimed excitedly, waving the small animal between her fingers.

“Say hi and put it back into the earth, okay?” I called back and Mingyu snorted as he looked up from his camera.

���This one goes for Wonwoo…” He grinned to himself, looking at me, “His daughter ain’t a pussy like your sister—”

“Mingyu!” I threw him a glare and punched his arm, “Irene hates every little insect, you know that. It’s not her fault—”

“It technically is though.” He gave me a pouty look and I snorted and shook my head. I extended my arms over my head and stretched, hearing the camera go off again, before laying down on the blanket. I groaned loudly as the tension eased from my lower back and I relaxed into the earth, closing my eyes to breathe in deeply the warm air. It was tranquil, the moment felt nice, Jieun’s laughter and chatter faded nicely into the background. I let my muscles relax and enjoy the moment of calmness, that is until weight was dumped on me. I yelped loudly, eyes opening and muscles tensing as I went to sit up but Mingyu’s hand pushed me back down.

“Don’t get up!” He exclaimed, eyebrows furrowed, “Why’d you move?!”

I threw him a glare as I watched him whine more, pushing his ass against my pelvis and sitting on me.

“Mingyu, I don’t know if anyone has made you aware of this, but you are heavy!” I exclaimed again, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“I won’t get off until you give me the same expression you did a few seconds ago—”

“How can I do that when a man is literally crushing me?” I raised my eyebrows and Mingyu scoffed, pushing up onto his knees but still straddling me.

“Happy?”

“Not until you completely get off.” I gave him a sweet smile and Mingyu threw me a glare as Jieun’s loud laughter came from behind him.

“Why are you sitting on auntie?” She asked giggling.

“Good question, Jieun, I think he wants to crush auntie—”

“I was just trying to take a picture of auntie, Jieun, but she’s stubborn and wants to upset me.” Mingyu said pouting, giving Jieun a sad look.

“Well, hurry up auntie then, I want to go inside—I’m tired.” Just as she finished speaking, she yawned and pouted.

“Five more minutes and we go take a nap, okay?” I smiled at Jieun and she nodded before running back to the swing. I looked back up at Mingyu and gulped as I stared into his eyes, the butterflies in my stomach kicking off.

“Make it quick, okay?” I sighed out and closed my eyes, willing my body to relax and let go. Forget that Mingyu is straddling me and dangling his camera in my face like all those times when we were still dating. The camera went off and so did my heart, it started beating faster and faster as all the memories swam in my mind tauntingly.

The basketball court was full of students as everyone was in recess. I was sitting with my friends on a bench underneath a tree to hide from the blazing sun as we all ate our lunch and gazed out onto the field, where the basketball team was shooting around. All guys were tall, the team consisted of mostly juniors and seniors, but Yuto, a guy my age, made it into the team due to his height.

“Ah!” Yuna exclaimed next to me, eyes following a boy, “Look at Wonwoo! He’s so handsome!”

“He’s a good player…” I muttered as I finished up my lunch.

“He could be the worst and I’d still love him!” Yuna mused and the rest of our friends agreed with her. I rolled my eyes when someone from behind us scoffed.

“So, you only watch the basketball team because the players are handsome?” The voice was sharp and I rolled my eyes, turning to face my sister.

“You’re still moody?” I asked her and she shook her head, coming to stand in front of me and blocking my view of the field.

“No, I passed my chemistry test, I’m feeling better.” She gave me a wide grin and extended her arm. She was holding a small cartoon of chocolate milk and my eyes lit up.

“Unnie!” I gave her a big grin and stood up to give her a brief hug, “Thank you!”

“Yeah, mom told me you forgot to pack one.”

“You’re the best.” Joohyun chuckled and pinched my cheek aggressively.

“You only say that when I give you something or do something for you—”

“Joohyun—” My friends shrieked and both Joohyun and I jumped as a ball hit my sister’s back. She hissed and turned sharply, the ball bouncing on the ground.

“Joohyun—” My friends started but Wonwoo running over shut them up quickly.

“Are you okay?” His deep voice was laced with worry and Joohyun glared the boy down. She was a lot shorter but her gaze could always make her seem powerful and scary. She leaned down wordlessly and picked the basketball up.

“Be careful next time, Wonwoo.” Her voice was soft, a contrast to the look on her face.

“Sorry, Joohyun.” Wonwoo bowed his head a bit, hands extending to take the ball from my sister. She glanced down at the ball before handing it over, their hands brushing against each other and small smiles appearing on their faces. The snap of a camera distracted me from throwing a suspicious look at the two in front of me. A tall guy, taller than Wonwoo, was holding up a camera to his left eye as he grinned.

“Yah! Kim Mingyu!” I exclaimed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Yah! Bae Y/N!” He imitated my voice, pushing his lips out into an exaggerated pout.

“I don’t look like that!” I snapped at him with a glare as Mingyu walked closer.

“Yes, you do.” He taunted, the camera hanging at his side. Wonwoo and Joohyun chuckled behind me and I glanced back to see them lost in their own conversation.

“Stop pouting, you’re too cute.” Mingyu cooed and I punched his bicep as he started leaning down.

“Why do you keep taking pictures of me—” My words got muffled when Mingyu pressed a small kiss against my lips, a smile appearing on my lips.

“What were you complaining about?” He whispered as he pulled back just a little bit, making my smile widen.

“Nothing.” I muttered and as I went to press another kiss against his lips, his camera went off again. My eyes snapped open to find Mingyu giggling as he was looking down at the picture he took, cheeks rosy.

“Yah! Kim Mingyu!” I exclaimed and raised my arm to punch his arm again but he suddenly jumped back. He stuck his tongue out and I glared at him.

“You two are so immature.” I heard Wonwoo saying from behind me.

“He won’t stop taking pictures of me!” I snapped, watching as Mingyu was slowly raising his camera up again, “Don’t you dare—”

Snap. Oh, that’s it, he asked for it. I took off running towards him but Mingyu just giggled loudly and took off too, running ahead of me.

“You can’t catch me!” He shouted as he turned his head before running faster.

“Screw your long legs!” I shouted after him as I chased him around the basketball field, underneath the blazing sun.

“I love you!” He shouted while trying to take more pictures of me, almost falling when he tripped on a rock.

“You’re an idiot!” I screamed after him, laughing when he almost fell, “I love you!”

“I know you do!” He winked cockily and slowed his running, making me think I’d finally catch up. But when he was in arms reach, he sped up again while cackling evilly. I let out a frustrated cry and continued chasing him, unphased by the looks the students were giving us.

The click of the camera brought me back to the present and I opened my eyes to find Mingyu with his eyebrows raised and a small smile on his lips. His personality didn’t change much since high school but his looks did. It’s not like that mattered much, I didn’t like him for his looks, it was his personality that drew me in at first. His looks were just a plus.

“I want to go in!” Jieun came running to us, whining loudly.

“We are going.” I smiled at her as she looked down at me with a pout and I looked up at Mingyu with raised eyebrows. He blinked and looked at me for a second before he realized he was straddling me, so he got off and helped me off the blanket as well.

“Can you please clean up? I have a Yoga class in half an hour.” I said after looking at my wrist watch.

“And Jieun?” Mingyu asked as he started gathering the things we gathered on the blanket.

“I’ll put her to sleep, don’t worry about her.” I gave Jieun a smile and crouched down, opening my arms, “Do you want auntie to carry you to your room?”

“Yes!” Jieun exclaimed, her droopy eyes widening as she climbed into my arms quickly. I patted her back and walked inside the house, towards her room upstairs.

        Jieun took longer than I expected to fall asleep, leaving me ten minutes to get ready for my Yoga class. I closed her door carefully after drawing her curtains closed and raced into the master bedroom, opening Joohyun’s closet. We go to Yoga class twice a week together so I have my clothes here, in case, I don’t have time to go home from the studio. We were supposed to go together today but since I had to be at the studio, we decided to postpone it. Thankfully, our Yoga instructor does online classes in the afternoon for those who couldn’t attend it in the morning. I quickly got dressed in my olive khaki green leggings and matching sports bra, rushing downstairs quietly, to Joohyun’s study room, where we kept our mattresses. She had enough space in her office, so I decided to lay out the Yoga mat underneath the window and quickly turned on her laptop, logging onto the platform of my instructor. In the big rush, I forgot to close the door and I could hear Mingyu coming and going from the garden, bringing everything inside like I asked him to do. I pulled my hair in a low ponytail and took a comfortable seat on the mat as the instructor started the class.

“Good afternoon!” She greeted with a big smile on her lips, her voice raspy but honey-like, “Good to see some familiar faces around; Y/N…”

I smiled and turned on the microphone, “Nice to see you! Joohyun and I couldn’t make it in the morning, we were both busy.”

“Is she not joining us today?” The instructor asked as more cameras got turned on, there was a total of ten people in today’s class.

“No, she’s not at home, at the moment.” I answered her and as the backdoor was closed, loud singing rang through the hallway. Mingyu’s deep voice bounced around the quiet house and my eyes widened as I quickly shut off my microphone, embarrassed when I saw some ladies smiling through their cameras. I glanced out in the hallway as Mingyu passed by the office, unaware that I was inside, as he bobbed his head to his own rhythm while he continued singing. Did he forget I put Jieun to sleep? He’s going to wake her up. But before I could quickly go and shut him up and close the door to the office, our instructor alerted us that we were starting the session.

“I prepared a relaxing Yoga sequence for today, a thirteen-minute-long practice,” She said with a smile as we took a comfortable seat in Lotus pose, “It’s the middle of the week, but we might be feeling burned out a little bit. I know that I do!”

I chuckled as I straightened my back, aligning head over heart, and heart over pelvis, “You can turn on your microphones as we are about to take deep breaths together, let us hear each other.”

I quickly reached over and turned on the microphone, as did the other ladies, whom I were familiar with from other classes, “Good, now let’s take five deep breaths in, tuck your chins, straighten your backs and close your eyes, empty your mind.”

I did as I was told, willing my muscles to relax as everyone took deep five breaths, emptying our lungs out loudly. It was a relaxing motion and it always helped me focus on the task I was about to do, my mind was a buzzing place 24/7. But my tranquil moment ended when Mingyu’s voice rose a few octaves and he started sputtering words after words. I opened one eye to see if the others could hear him as well, but upon seeing no reaction, I quickly closed my eye and took one more deep breath to relax again.

“Let us stretch our side bodies now.” With eyes open, I followed the instructor, breathing deeply still, “This is a great moment to take a step back from your busy lives and reflect on yourselves. Get lost in the silence and the guidance of my voice, trust your bodies and meet me in a tabletop position.”

I smiled and slowly moved into the position, cracking my lower back in the process, “Let’s do three rounds of cat and cow now, everyone following their own rhythm. We are not here to rush today.”

Closing my eyes, I arched my back into a cow position, letting out a quiet sigh when a few vertebras popped, then starting from the tailbone, I curled up into a cat position. I did that two more times while breathing deep, hearing the other ladies do the same calmed my nerves a little bit. I got lost in my own world, finally, blocking out sounds from the outside that didn’t serve me in this moment.

“On your next breath in, bring your big toes together and widen your knees as big as your mat, then meet me in extended child’s pose, with active fingers.” The instructor spoke up, and we followed, “Let’s wake up the muscles in our upper backs while opening our heart space, okay?”

The skin of my lower back and upper back were getting a good stretch as I gently rocked from side to side at the hips, loosening up the tight joints, breathing deeply.

“Make your next inhale the longest breath you’ve taken all day long and, on your exhale, let go of everything that doesn’t serve you by using lion’s breath,” I filled my lungs with air to the brim and paused at the top for three second before sticking my tongue out, eyes looking at my third eye and letting all the air out, similar sighs coming through the laptop.

“Carefully moving, let’s meet in downward dog, but only proceed from a tabletop position.” I raised back into a tabletop position and carefully, knees bent and arms placed at a wide distance on the map, I raised into a downward dog position, heels coming down on the earth.

“Let’s pedal it out,” The instructor said, “Your heels don’t have to come down to the earth straight away, pedal them out first, feel your muscles stretch and when you did all that, grow heavy in your heels and come to a still position for three deep cleansing breaths.”

I moved my legs as if I was walking, in one place, pedaling them out and sighing out when my hamstrings got the stretch they so desperately needed. I ground my heels down and stilled my movements, taking deep breaths. As I took in my last set of deep breath, the floor creaked in the doorway and I opened my eyes, seeing Mingyu upside down from this position, standing in the doorway. His jaw was hung open but when we made eye-contact, a wide smirk spread on his lips.

“Damn,” He muttered as he leaned against the doorframe, “If you only had this ass back in high school too—”

I gasped as my cheeks flushed, the sudden laughter coming from the laptop making Mingyu jump. His eyes widened as he looked towards the screen, and as I lowered from the downward dog, I caught the faint tint of red on his cheeks. The ladies were still giggling, the instructor’s eyebrows raised curiously.

“Uh—I’m really sorry—he didn’t know my microphone was on—”

“Good evening, ladies,” Mingyu smiled charmingly, they could see him well through the camera, “Sorry for interrupting, I’ll quickly head out.”

“Now, now,” The instructor said with a chuckle as Mingyu slowly left, throwing me a smirk that made me glare at him, “We needed that laughter, didn’t we, ladies?”

There was a chorus of agreements and my cheeks flushed again as I chuckled in embarrassment, “Sorry, he’s—”

“A charming young man, indeed,” The instructor interrupted me with a small smile, “let’s try to focus once again though and repeat our downward dog before we proceed with our practice.”

And we did proceed with our relaxing practice, but the problem was I couldn’t relax with Mingyu continuously walking in and out of Irene’s study room and always whispering things at me. At first, he was asking for some books Wonwoo recommended him to read, then he took a seat on Irene’s couch and started reading out loud but in a whisper, meanwhile I kept throwing glares at him. Does he know he’s supposed to leave me alone? By the time the class took an end I wasn’t anywhere relaxed, instead I was angry and irritated. The practice was supposed to make me feel light and relaxed but due to Mingyu bothering me, it didn’t work out. When we were talking leisurely after we finished the practice, Mingyu dangled his head into the camera. The ladies started laughing again and he had a heartful conversation with my Yoga instructor, to which he even got an invitation to her class after he complained about his muscles being stiff after a long day at the gym. When we were saying our goodbye’s, a lady had the audacity to call Mingyu and I, a cute and playful couple, which I wanted to deny but before I could, Mingyu was nodding and thanking her making my heart pump quickly. Once the call was over, Mingyu sat back on the couch and I proceeded to roll up Irene’s mat and placed it back to its place, throwing a glare at a grinning Mingyu. My eyes fell on the book he tormented me with and I took it in my hand and whacked him over the head.

“Hey!” He exclaimed and started rubbing his head, “What are you doing?!”

“What are you doing?!” I snapped, crossing my arms in front of my chest, “I took the Yoga class to relax a little bit but thanks to you I just became more irritated!”

“You did?” He raised his eyebrows and I went to whack him again but he caught my arm and quickly jumped up, “Okay, okay, I get it! Sorry, I won’t do it next time!”

“Of course, you won’t. There’s no next time.” I rolled my eyes and let Mingyu take the book from me and place it back onto the shelf.

“What are you saying?” He asked with a chuckle, becoming amused when I sighed and looked at him expectantly, “I got an invitation to your instructor’s next class and I’m definitely not going to miss it—”

“Hell, no.” I snapped and turned around to leave the office, but not before opening the window to let fresh air in, “So that you torment me there too? No, thank you.”

“Come on! I won’t!” Mingyu whined as he followed after me, closing the door behind me, “I’ll take it seriously!”

“You won’t, I know you too well, Kim Mingyu.” I said with a snort as I started walking up the stairs, Mingyu still following close behind.

“Please?” He looked at me with puppy eyes when I glanced back, “I’ll let you drive me around, okay?”

“As if I want to do that.” I scoffed as I walked to the master bedroom to get my clothes before I head to shower.

“I know you do,” A smirk crossed Mingyu’s lips as he blocked my way, “I heard from Wonwoo you bought a new Mercedes, I just know you’re dying to show it off to me.”

“Am not.” I said with a scoff, biting my lip afterwards. Oh, and how right he is, I can’t wait to pick him up from work and drive him here, in my new light turquoise Mansory S-Class Cabriolet, the next time we are having dinner with Joohyun, Wonwoo, and Jieun.

“You do,” Mingyu cooed and I rolled my eyes as I side stepped him, heading out the bedroom and down the hall to the bathroom.

“Now, stay quiet and don’t wake Jieun, I want to shower.”

“Go, go,” Mingyu ushered me inside the bathroom, gripping the handle, “Relax now, since you couldn’t while doing Yoga.”

“Dickhead—” He cut me off by closing the door in my face and I could hear his giggles as he walked away, his footsteps still loud. I groaned and quickly put my hair in a bun, turning on the warm water in the shower stall. The bathroom upstairs was bigger and it was divided in two in such way that if someone was showering another person could still come in because you wouldn’t see them, as the shower stall was just behind the other wall.

       And there’s a reason why I usually avoid showering upstairs. It’s so big that the person won’t even hear the running water and often times would walk in, it happened with both Joohyun and Wonwoo while I showered, when they newly bought the house. Like I said, they still couldn’t see you, but the thought alone was enough to drive me away from showering upstairs and just using the downstairs shower. And that same thing happened while I was massaging an exfoliating soap onto my skin. The door opened and I heard feet thudding inside loudly.

“Jieun?” I called out, straining my ears to hear the person inside, “Did you have a nightmare and wake up? Mingyu is downstairs sweety, I’m showering, you can go to him—”

“Yeah,” My eyes widened at the male voice and I quickly turned around in the shower stall, making sure he didn’t already approach me, “Mingyu is upstairs, actually.”

“What the hell are you doing inside, Mingyu?!” I exclaimed, frozen as I listened closely, “I’m showering!”

“Uh, yeah, I know, you told me and I hear the water running—”

“What the fuck are you doing inside then?!” I exclaimed again, eyebrows furrowing when Mingyu cursed loudly.

“Fuck, I stubbed my toe!” He hissed and I scoffed as I quickly rinsed off the soap, “And I know, but I was bored downstairs alone…”

“So, you just come and intrude on a woman while she’s showering? Because that’s fine?” I snapped; eyebrows raised even if he couldn’t see me. I heard the toilet making sounds and realized Mingyu closed the lid and sat on top of it.

“Hey, don’t make me sound like a creep!”

“You are being a creep right now, though.” I pointed out as I took my regular, tropical scented, body lotion and spread it on my body.

“Okay, I’m sorry, I can’t even see anything, you know that, I just—” He let out a long sigh and my eyebrows raised as I paused.

“You just, what?” I asked curiously as I let the warm water wash off the body lotion.

“I was wondering, like, I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, actually, you know…” There was a pause as Mingyu cleared his throat before he continued, “Just…after we broke up, you know…did you date anyone else? Like, had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or something…”

My eyebrows furrowed at the odd question, not expecting it from Mingyu, we never talked about relationships or partners. We always stayed away from the topic that involved our personal lives for multiple reasons, so it was a surprise that he finally asked about it, especially when I was showering.

“I mean…” I let out a breath, standing underneath the warm water, “It’s been five years since we…broke up, so…yeah. I had…three…boyfriends.”

“Oh,” Mingyu sounded surprised and I grimaced waiting for him to continue speaking, “Yeah, I had a lot of flings during college, then a serious girlfriend that lasted for a year only, so…”

He chuckled, but I could hear he didn’t take it lightly, it bothered him that it didn’t work out. Something was bothering him still; I could hear it in his voice.

“Well, you know, I don’t know if Joohyun and Wonwoo talked about me and if they did and Wonwoo told you, but…” I took a deep breath and turned off the water, reaching for the long towel, “You pretty much broke my heart, no joke.”

Mingyu remained quiet as I placed the towel around my body and secured it tightly at my breasts, “I don’t blame you now, with this mentality, and I don’t hate you either anymore.”

We both chuckled at the same time and Mingyu sighed as we both stayed put where we were standing, “Honestly, I was a big dick back then. Breaking up with you because I wanted to get the whole college experience—I was a fucking idiot, to be honest.”

“You still are…” I muttered and Mingyu chuckled before he sighed again, “Actually…you know, how I was supposed to come with a plus one to my sister and Wonwoo’s wedding?”

“Yeah, and then you showed up with—”

“Minghao,” We said at the same time.

“Yeah, Minghao, and everyone was fucking confused from your family.” Mingyu continued talking, “Even Wonwoo…I still don’t get what the fuss was about.”

“I was supposed to come with my fiancé—”

“Fiancé?!” Mingyu choked out and I giggled, “You had a fiancé at the age of twenty-one, what the fuck?! And you didn’t tell me?!”

“We met when I was nineteen, actually, but back then I was kinda playing around with two guys, you know…still not over you, dickhead, but then him and I got closer and we got engaged three months before the wedding.” I explained, enjoying when Mingyu gasped.

“What happened?”

“I don’t know?” I asked with a chuckle, leaning my head against the wet tiles of the shower stall, “We realized we were too different? I don’t know, honestly, but I’m glad we broke up. I don’t think we were a good match.”

“Yeah, I’m glad too.” I scoffed and I heard shuffling, meaning Mingyu stood up, “Why did even Vernon show up at the wedding? He wasn’t even invited—”

“Two drunk calls from Minghao and I were enough to bring him around—”

“And then I had to drive the three of you home, yeah, I remember.” Mingyu didn’t sound amused and I started laughing.

“Well, if you were dumb enough to come by car and not with a cab like everyone else…”

“Yeah, whatever,” Mingyu scoffed and he cleared his throat again and hesitated to speak, “So, uhm, I was thinking…let’s go on a date?”

I blinked once and then twice and paused. Kim Mingyu was asking me on a date? Or was I hallucinating?

“I really should have waited after you finished showering, not seeing your face is frustrating.” He groaned to himself and I chuckled.

“To your information, I’m gaping right now,” Mingyu chuckled and I pursed my lips, “You want to go on a date with me?”

“Yeah, I think we are both mature enough to start things over, if we wanted to,” He sighed and I licked my lips, pushing off from the wall, “At least, I want to if you’re not against it.”

“Did spending your day with me make you nostalgic, Kim Mingyu?” I asked with a chuckle and he just hummed. I didn’t know how to feel. Did I still have feelings for him? Yes. Did he hurt me already once? Yes. But as he said, we are adults now, we view things differently now. I’m still unsure however.

“I can’t give you an answer right now,” I decided to be honest with him, he deserved it, “Give me time to think.”

He hummed quietly and I knew he wasn’t expecting that answer and he was disappointed, but he quickly spoke up, “I’ll go wake Jieun so that we can prepare dinner together.”

And he was out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with my conflicting thoughts. Did I want to go on a date with him? Yes. Was I afraid we wouldn’t work out anymore and I’d lose him forever? Yes.

        After Jieun woke up, the three of us went downstairs and prepared dinner together, spending a good hour in the kitchen. But it still wasn’t dinner time so we snuggled up on the couch in the living room and watched a family movie together, Mingyu bringing us a big blanket to keep us warm. Jieun was snuggled up into his side, putting Mingyu into the middle, and I threw him a curious glance when he kept shifting around, until his arm was around my shoulders and his body was leaning onto mine.

“It’s comfier.” He whispered, keeping his eyes on the TV and I shook my head before looking back towards the TV and feeling my cheeks heat up. It felt nice being snuggled up next to him, his warmth enveloping mine and creating a feeling of calmness and safety. If there was a feeling I missed after Mingyu left me, it was the safety I felt whenever I was with him. His bigger body and the way he carried himself and even interacted when he was with me made it obvious to me that he’d do anything to keep me safe and that I shouldn’t worry. So, in the middle of the movie I cleared my throat and glanced up at him to see him already looking down at me.

“Let’s go on that date.” I whispered quietly at him and instantly Mingyu was grinning from ear to ear, squeezing my shoulder tightly for a few seconds before he sighed out happily. I chuckled and placed a palm against his beating hart, cheeks flushing when I felt his quick pulse. A feeling of fulfilment filled my senses and I couldn’t help the smile spreading onto my own lips.

       After the movie was over, the moon was high up in the sky, and we headed to the kitchen to have dinner. Jieun excitedly told us stories about her encounters with other kids in kindergarten and how she kept tricking her nanny into giving her candy without her mom and dad knowing. Dinner was filled with giggles and Mingyu throwing me glances every few minutes, eyes warm and happy. Jieun even pointed it out at some point, asking us if we were hiding a secret or surprise from her. When we reassured her that no, we weren’t, she pouted and settled on finishing her dinner quietly while Mingyu and I conversed about what we did the one month we didn’t meet up, laughing at the memories we shared in high school when one brought it up randomly. After dinner, Jieun had a warm bubble bath and I braided her hair in two, helping her into her pajamas before Mingyu and I tucked her in bed. We were both sitting on each side of her bed, her bedside lap turned on and we chatted for a little while, until she fell asleep.

“You know,” Jieun muttered sleepily, her eyes already closed, “Uncle and auntie act just like dad and mommy. Will you have babies too? I’ll have someone to play with forever…”

Mingyu and I shared a look as I chuckled and leaned over Jieun, cradling her cheek, “Auntie and uncle aren’t like that, Jieun. There’s men and women who are just friends, who love each other but never make babies, because it’s not that kind of love, you know?”

“Don’t worry, Jieunie,” Mingyu leaned closer too, a devilish smirk crossing his lips, “Uncle will convince auntie to make babies so that you’ll have someone to play with, okay?”

Jieun’s eyes opened and she grinned widely as I threw Mingyu a glare, “Pinky promise?”

“Pinky promise!”

“Hey!” I exclaimed quietly as the two pinky promised in front of me with grins on their lips as if I wasn’t even there, “It’s not that easy to make babies—”

“We’ll figure it out.” Mingyu cut me off with a wink and I scoffed, leaning down and kissing Jieun’s cheek.

“Sweet dreams, angel.”

“Sweet dreams, chipmunk.” Jieun grinned as Mingyu pressed a quick kiss against her forehead and then we got up, turned off her bedside lamp and turned on her fairy lights. Quietly closing her door, we descended down the stairs and I could feel Mingyu smirking next to me, his hand continuously brushing against mine.

“Stop giving Jieun false hope, dickhead.” I snapped finally, making Mingyu giggled. He was expecting my reaction, as we walked back to the living room.

“I was being serious, Bae.” I groaned as Mingyu turned on the TV, putting on some random movie as we sat down on the couch, pulling the blanket over us again. We remained silent during the movie, enjoying the presence of the other, and my heart started racing when Mingyu interlaced his fingers with mine underneath the blanket and placed our hands on his thigh. I didn’t realize I wanted this until it happened, and I couldn’t be gladder. Because in this world, there was no one like Kim Mingyu, and he was mine.

My one and only true love.

[young-dumb-and-vaccinated]

The Cult Girl (Hannibal x Female!Reader) pt. 3

So I picked option 2 cause I just had more ideas around it. I could probably still do 1 and 3 sometime but this is the direction we're going now. Y/n gets a call from her horrible grandmother who is expecting a visit.

Trigger warning: discussions of emotional and mental abuse, gaslighting

That night at his dining table was the start of something wonderful. You made a point to apply a bit of perfume to your neck before you left your apartment. Your three slightly judgmental but overall supportive roommates even donated a few drops of their own fragrances from time to time. 

You didn’t like the sound of the sentence “Hannibal is my boyfriend”. It just didn’t hit your ear right. ‘Boyfriend’ was too childish of a title for him. By extension, he found something very diminutive about referring to you as his girlfriend. You were, of course, a grown woman. He remedied this right away, resigning to call you his ‘darling’. You, however, had to use ‘partner’ as a placeholder until a more suitable pet name presented itself. Although the titles were never stated outright, after a while, you knew it was more than just a passionate affair. Hannibal (and you were calling him Hannibal, now) saw potential in you. He nurtured you and had been since day one. 

Finally, things were starting to go your way. You were in classes you loved, had wonderful, supportive friends and a fulfilling relationship. It took over twenty years, but better late than never. 

But, if there was one thing you learned from your short stint as a student of physics, it was that what goes up must come down. Your long-awaited bliss was about to be tested by an equal and opposite force bearing the name “Beatrice [L/N]” on the caller ID. 

Not only did she call, but she called three times in the middle of your meal. And that was followed by multiple texts, several of which containing words like “emergency” in all caps. You were just trying to enjoy another one of Hannibal’s culinary works of art, but the old bitch was persistent. 

You apologetically excused yourself from the table and retreated to the office with your phone. 

Grandma, you had better be on your fucking deathbed. You thought to yourself before sliding the green answer icon across the screen.

“[F/N]!” Came her shrill voice. “You finally answered. I was beginning to worry.” 

“What do you want, grandma?” You groan. 

“I wanted to ask you what you were wearing to Anna’s wedding next weekend.” She explained, calmly as ever. “The color scheme is seafoam and coral and she wants to make sure everyone adheres to it for pictures.” 

You covered the speaker with your hand and pulled your phone away from your ear so she couldn’t hear you bite back a scream. It physically pained you to return the phone to your ear. “Yeah, I RSVPed no to Anna’s wedding.”

“[F/N],” Your grandmother said in that scolding tone you knew all too well. “Your cousin expects you to be there. I expect you to be there. I invested so much money into this wedding, I will take it as a personal affront if you don’t attend.” 

You take everything as a personal affront. You thought.  

“It doesn’t matter, I already said no. She’s not going to have a chair or food for me.” You explained, hoping that you found some way out of this conversation. 

“No, she will.” Your grandma corrected. “I won’t have any child of mine absent from another’s wedding. I put in all the work to pull this event together.” 

For a moment, you almost felt bad for Anna. Having to endure your grandmother’s micromanaging was a circle of hell even Dante refused to tread.

"Of course, heaven forbid someone in your life show an ounce of autonomy." You finally snapped.

"I don't know why you're acting so rude, but it stops now." Grandma ordered. "I raised you as my own daughter. You should be more grateful for the luxuries I can extend to you. I didn't have to take you in, you know..."

It pained you to stay quiet when all you wanted to say was "I wish you hadn't".

"Your emotional manipulation isn't going to work on me anymore." You informed her.

“So, naturally, I’ve seen to it that you are expected." She continued her own conversation without even acknowledging yours. "You and a plus one, of course.”

You hadn’t even considered the possibility of attending the wedding with Hannibal. The two points never once intersected. And they never would. You vowed that Hannibal would never meet your grandmother or cousins. At that moment, that was the hill you were willing to die on. 

“If I come at all, I’m coming alone.” You snap. “You can punish me all you want but I am not letting you get him involved.” 

“Him?” Your grandma repeated. “So there is someone?” 

“Someone you are keeping me from.” You said, thoroughly frustrated and now panicked at the idea that your grandmother knew Hannibal existed. “Goodbye.” 

You didn't want to rejoin Hannibal in such a sour mood, but you didn't want to keep him waiting either. You returned even more apologetically than you left and took your seat.

"Everything alright, love?" He asked. You could tell he was raring to psychoanalyze you.

You shook your head. "It was my grandma."

"I could tell that much." He admitted, beginning to cut into his steak. "What with all the frustration you're trying so desperately to hide. What did she want?"

"She called to tell me she expects me at my cousin's wedding next Saturday." You rolled your eyes. "I'd already declined the invitation, but she didn't like that, apparently."

"Which cousin is this?" He probed. "The one that works as an engineer for Halliburton?

"No, that's Theresa." You shook your head. "And she works for Halliburton, but she's not an engineer. She's a PR executive."

"Right." Hannibal nodded, taking a bite of steak between his teeth. "She took after your grandmother and turned gaslighting into a career."

You smiled a bit. "Right."

"So, it's Anna, then?" He concluded. "You haven't told me much about her. Perhaps she is the benign tumor of the family?"

"More or less." You shrugged. "She works at a publishing agency. Only got the job because her boyfriend's uncle's the CFO. She didn't even make it to the interview. It was pure nepotism."

"And now she's marrying the boyfriend, I presume?"

"Yeah." You felt a grin cross your face thinking about what you were going to say next. "She wasn't even dating him at the time. She was dating someone else and cheating on him with the guy she's marrying now."

Hannibal grinned. "You like knowing this? Having information that could potentially ruin her life?"

You knew there was no use in lying. The look on your face said it all. "Absolutely I do. When you're the black sheep of the family, you've gotta take power where you can get it. Mine just so happens to be potential blackmail."

"I'm quite delighted to be privy to this side of you, love." He smiled. "We're a bit vindictive, now are we?"

"Are you kidding?" You snicker. "These are the girls that psychologically tormented me growing up. Of course I'm vindictive."

"So about this wedding." He didn't look up from his plate. "Do they expect you to bring a date?"

"They do." You nod, your eyes wandering off. "But I can't let them meet you. They're just so unspeakably rude all the time."

For some reason, you felt that this didn't deter him. Perhaps it even compelled him a little. "Oh?"

"They take this really strange pride in making scenes everywhere they go." You explained. "They've already ruined so much of my life. I can't even give them the opportunity to ruin this too."

"Darling," Hannibal leaned in. "Is there a part of you that wants to attend this event?"

You held your tongue before you said anything you both know to be untrue. "...maybe a small part."

"That small part of you that wants power. That wants justice." He nodded. "Indulge it for a moment. What does this wedding look like to you?"

Trying to keep up the illusion that you hadn't thought of this before, you paused for a moment. "...we would show up--you and I--and I'd be wearing a stunning gown that doesn't fit the stupid color scheme at all. And there's just an unspoken knowledge that I could absolutely ruin Anna's entire day. Anna and Theresa and Grandma are all being nice to me because if I so much as mention the name of that boyfriend she cheated on, I'd ruin her life and possibly her career. So finally I hold all the cards."

Hannibal looked proud. He took a sip of his wine. "You want to be powerful, but with just enough restraint so they know you're the bigger person."

"Exactly." You agreed.

"Perhaps my fondness for you is clouding my professional judgment, darling." He put his wine glass down. "The thought of you in an evening gown, commanding attention and reverence... that's just something I have to see."

"...something you have to see?" You met eyes with him, realizing you were on the same page.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket again. This time, you didn't feel the need to step out.

"Hey [F/N], care to explain why my sister is crying?" Theresa snapped through the receiver.

"Is someone cutting onions nearby?" You offered. "That usually makes me tear up."

"Fucking hell, for once in your meaningless life can you care about someone other than yourself?!" Theresa yelled. "Grandma told us you're not coming to the wedding."

You looked back at Hannibal, who gave you a nod. "Actually, I am. We are."

[guyfieriii]

You really made my day with this!!! The fact that my silly little AU helped inspire this work of art!

I have to share my thoughts, of course. There’s a bit manic so I apologize in advance.

Aftercare: I WHOLEHEARTEDLY AGREE!

This is a man who has never been able to just take a moment. And he’d most definitely put it all on hold to make sure you’re looked after.

“Please, John.” “Don’t need to tell me twice, love.”

Body Part: John uses the same hands he’s drenched in blood to wring breathless, sobbing pleasure from your body, and that he can do that is something that he holds dear. This is poetry!

And he’d most definitely loves marking you all over.

Cum: Cum swapping with Price is a running fantasy of mine, holy hell.

Dirty Secret: The way he’d prep you, OH MY FUCKING GOD. So patient and yet so bloody eager to just wreck it.

Experience: Another very distinct fantasy involving him wearing glasses, just studying how you’d get yourself off. And then “My turn.”

Favourite Position: AND YOU’D GET TO SEE ALL HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS WHEN HE-

Goofy: I totally agree! Goes hand in hand with his aftercare.

Hair: I have two words for you. BIG BEAR. (I’m sure you’ve seen that one clip by now)

Intimacy: Price is easily the most romantic out of the entire lot. A lot I think stems from his sense of tradition, but GOD the man was built to woo.

Jack off: I was not prepared. Fucking what- 😭

Kink: John Price is Daddy. Without a shadow of a doubt.

Location: The edging, oh god, the ending.

Motivation: Just one fucking look. Half a look. A glance. And he’s good to go.

No: As much as I’d like to be called a slut by him, I agree.

Oral: Yes. Yes. Yes. Also, THAT BEARD.

Pace: He wants to be as drunk on you as you are on him, too, and he’s had enough experience with the best Scotch he can afford to know that that dizzy, heady feeling belongs only to an endeavor in savoring it. Perfection. NOTHING TO ADD HERE

Quickie: When John is needy and frantic because he tried to whet your appetite and got lost in his own want for you, you find it much easier to flip him over onto his back or press him down with a hand to his shoulder, and at that point he’d do just about anything you told him if only you’d let him have you. The need I have to drive this man insane.

Risk: I’d imagine it comes up in a lot of dirty talk. Oof.

Stamina: He usually gathers you up into his arms when you say that, because in this big, horrible mess of a world he has a partner who treats him like the fragile human he feels he isn’t allowed to be. You’re really playing fast and loose with my emotions here, my friend.

Toys: Luckily, rather than get pissy, he will communicate this, and you get to tell him that the full idea was to let him edge you with the vibe for as long as the both of you could stand. I want to be blinded by the number of orgasms this man could give me with a vibe.

Unfair: He plays the instrument of your body like a virtuoso, and only hears music in your begging and pleading. Again! This. Is. Poetry.

Volume: It’s -10 C here and I’m sweating.

Wild Card: Now that’s a conversation I need written out. PLEASE!!!!

X-ray: Yeah this is all I’m going to be able to picture for the rest of my day.

Yearning: he’s every bit as intoxicated by you as you are by him. LOVE THIS!!!!

Zzz: wouldn’t you like to lay down with me, John? Wouldn’t you like to just hold each other, for a bit? THIS HURT ME IN THE BEST WAY. DO IT AGAIN.

NSFW Alphabet — Captain John Price

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: BDSM dynamics, mild daddy kink

Pairing: John Price x AFAB reader

Now on AO3!

Dedicated to @yeyinde who has been almost my sole inspiration for how down bad I am for this fucking man. (And because I know she’s working on her own version of this and I’m DYING for it.)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Almost to a fault, John is both active and attentive. After he’s pulled away from you, breath coming out in heavy pants and hair mussed where you’d been running your hands through it (or pulling it—he really likes when you pull it), he’s already on his feet scrounging up a washcloth to clean up with, a sip of water for you both to get back some of that hydration that you’d sweated out, and would you like him to toss you your shirt, dove? He’s never really able to sit still on even the calmest of days, but all it takes to get him to lay back down with you is a sweet, soft plea to come hold you. John cannot deny you when you ask like that.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn’t know if they’re his favorite, but John has a lot of appreciation for his hands. They’re weathered, scarred, and have carried out some of the most heinous acts a man can commit against another human being, but you also mewl and plead for those hands to touch you, to hold you tighter, to pin you down and mark you up. John uses the same hands he’s drenched in blood to wring breathless, sobbing pleasure from your body, and that he can do that is something that he holds dear. When it comes to your body, John loves your neck and your breasts. He has painted both with blooms of red and purple using his lips and teeth, and love to watch your breasts shake and bounce as he thrusts into you, one hand wrapped carefully but firmly around your throat.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Given the opportunity, John always prefers to come inside you. He’ll grab you in an iron grip, thrusting with a force that you’re certain will leave bruises, and bury himself to the hilt when he hits his peak, snarling into your skin as he rolls his hips against you to milk himself with your pussy. There is one exception though: if you’re taking him with your mouth, there’s nothing he likes more than to pull out and paint your jaw with his spend. Then he’ll yank you up, hands grabbing your face regardless of the mess, and kiss you messy and stupid.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He wants to have your ass. Perhaps not the dirtiest of secrets, but he’s rather old-fashioned, and it feels dirty to him. Also, it feels unfair, since it’s an act he thinks only he’ll really be able to enjoy. You’ll have to be the one to bring it up, but you’ll get hints from him that he’s thinking about it—he’ll frame the little ring of muscle between his fingers when he spreads your cheeks as foreplay is heading rapidly toward the main event, or he’ll thumb your perineum when he’s plowing into you from behind, growling about how pretty your ass looks bouncing against him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

John has had few partners, but plenty of sexual encounters. He is not a man for casual sex—at least, not one-time flings—and prefers to dive deep into pleasure with people that he trusts. Figuring out what makes someone tick, what makes them lose every inhibition with him, is far more to his preference. He’s learned that to have sex means to learn about someone else’s body a little more every time it happens, and that sex really does only get better than even the best anonymous hookup.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Hands down, John likes to have you on your back with your knees hooked over his elbows. Any position, really, that he gets to spread you out and hold you open is his favorite, and he absolutely wants to see your face as he wrecks you. He consumes the expressions you make with a hungry, steely gaze, and he demands more often than not that you look him in the eye when you come on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous?)

Humor is not really his thing, in the bedroom or out of it. That isn’t to say that sex with John is always serious and intense—he cares for you, deeply, and that includes your smile and your laughter. It is more accurate to say that John is looking for that lightness after the fact; after you’ve wailed and moaned and whimpered from the ecstasy he’s drawn out of you, he wants to make sure you’re grinning and saying how amazing that was once you’ve finished. You can tease him plenty about how into the act he gets, because he knows if he takes you to bed you won’t want to leave it.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes?)

John is wonderfully hairy all over, and when he has the time he keeps himself neat and groomed (he’s already maintaining the mutton chops, after all). His chest hair is dark and a little coarse, as is his pubic hair, which strains up his belly in a happy trail that can’t quite make it to his navel. His forearms, calves, and thighs are also generously dusted with the stuff, although years of tight military gear are starting to show their effect on how fast it grows. He’s not too worried about it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

He can’t help but be at least a little romantic. You’re his, and his alone, and that’s a gift he is actively thankful for every day. He is not exactly prone to sweetness, but sex with John is always comfortable in that he is always paying attention to the little reactions you give when he touches you like this or thrusts into you like that. You find, even pretty early into the development of your sex life with him, that he’s as hungry for the way you respond to him as he is for the feel of your body in his hands.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

You caught him with his hand around his cock once, at his desk on base and flushed red as he fisted himself in a tight grip. He’d called you there, in fact, and it had been at the beginning of your sexual relationship with him—he’d sounded out of breath and strained on the phone, and you’d hurried there to see what the problem was. As it had turned out, he’d started jacking off under the impression that you weren’t present, and then some background mental math had resolved itself to correct that assumption. It was the first time he’d bent you over his desk, but not the last.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

John truly does not like the word daddy, but that does not inhibit his enjoyment for the dynamic. He loves your acquiescence, loves the complete faith you put in him to take care of your needs, and even loves it when you give him the opportunity to lay down the law by being a brat. It’s half about the control—the heady opiate of power met with submission—and half about getting to give you what you desperately need from him. He loves to see you come absolutely unraveled, and loves to be the person you trust to get you there.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

His office is a constant favorite. He doesn’t get to have you there as often as he likes, what with the international nature of his job, but every time the two of you have been within walking distance of it, he’s had you on his desk, on the floor, and across the couch against the wall at every opportunity. He’s a horrible tease about it, too—he’ll keep you speared on his cock for what feels like hours as you cling to your sanity, one eye on the locked deadbolt, your only barrier between bliss and humiliation, as John reminds every so often, “No, dove, you’re not allowed to come yet.”

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sometimes all he needs to see is the offset angle of the collar of your shirt to be ready to go. It makes him feel a little crazy, like being a randy twenty-something again with a cock that worked faster than his brain ever could, but that’s just the effect you have on him. More than once you’ve met him after your shower, skin still shimmering from the humidity, smelling fresh and hair a little damp, only to have him walk you back against a wall to work up a sweat and defeat the purpose of the bath entirely.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He does not want to actually humiliate you. Control is one thing—abuse is another. In the moment, he might growl about how needy you are, how perfect you look with that fucked-stupid expression on your face, but he will have a very, very hard time calling you a slut or a whore even if you want him to. Those are words, he was taught very early, that you do not call your partner, or anyone else. Period.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

John appreciates giving and receiving in perfect balance. The picture of you on your knees, his cock down your throat as he sits with you between his spread legs, is as appealing as the reverse, and he’d never make himself choose between one or the other. When he eats you out, his arms are wound around your thighs from underneath, pulling your pelvis in closer to his face as he buries his mouth and tongue and nose into your folds. When you finish on his lips, he will not stop. He wants to hear you wailing.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

It all depends on what he’s trying to accomplish. If John is trying to get you to that place where words have stopped having any meaning and you are more an experience of pleasure than a person, he’s going slow, and he’s going hard. He wants to be as drunk on you as you are on him, too, and he’s had enough experience with the best Scotch he can afford to know that that dizzy, heady feeling belongs only to an endeavor in savoring it.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are a tool in his arsenal that he uses to tease you, but he ends up teasing himself, too. That’s the point, of course, but sometimes it can backfire, and that turns into a rare occasion when John is not in control, is not trying to wring every drop of pleasure from you that you can stand. When John is needy and frantic because he tried to whet your appetite and got lost in his own want for you, you find it much easier to flip him over onto his back or press him down with a hand to his shoulder, and at that point he’d do just about anything you told him if only you’d let him have you. If you want to reap the benefits of him getting you back for it, you can bring him up to the razor’s edge of coming and then leave him there for you to indulge in later. Plan not to be able to walk after the next time he gets you into bed.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

John is perfectly willing to experiment with positions and sensation play, just as an example, but there are limits to what he’s willing risk. While the fantasy of the 141 watching as he fucks you dumb is a favorite of his, he’s not actually willing to get into a situation in which that might happen, both because you might not like it and because he needs to maintain a measure of decorum as commanding officer, no matter how unconventional his methods might be. He still thinks about it, though.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He’s only getting older. He’s gotten cranky about this several times. He can manage two rounds, three on a really good day, but he thinks he should be capable of more. He wants his body to obey his own command, and wants it to be available to you, in fact, whenever you want it. You’ve reminded him more than once that he needs three squares and eight straights if he wants to actually have the energy to do what he wants to you, and neither are always readily available to him. He usually gathers you up into his arms when you say that, because in this big, horrible mess of a world he has a partner who treats him like the fragile human he feels he isn’t allowed to be.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or on themself?)

John’s old-fashioned, and the wealth of toys available today frankly makes his head spin. He’ll feel a little intimidated, too, if you consider bringing a vibrator into the bedroom with him, because it will feel a little like a suggestion that he can’t please you with just his own body. Luckily, rather than get pissy, he will communicate this, and you get to tell him that the full idea was to let him edge you with the vibe for as long as the both of you could stand. That’s a technique that fits within his tastes, and when you further inform him that butt plugs are great little tools to work up to anal sex, he gets on board pretty fast.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If it isn’t clear by now—John is merciless. He plays the instrument of your body like a virtuoso, and only hears music in your begging and pleading. He’s never cruel and he never leaves you truly frustrated and unfulfilled, because that’s not who John is, but he’s going to keep your climax out of reach until he knows for certain that finally being able to come will wreck you. How is he being unfair, he asks, when he always gives you what you want in the end?

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)

Normally, sex with John is punctuated with growls, groans, deep snarls, and chesty rumbling. Keeping control of you also means keeping control of himself. But. When you catch him in those frantic moments, when his hunger for you far outstrips his desire to play those games of dominance and submission, you can hear him moan and whimper and almost weep when you ply his body with your hands and mouth, when you sink onto his cock at a pace leisurely and comfortable for you and agonizing for him. He will swear all colors of the rainbow, curse and praise you in the same breath, promise to get payback and promise you everything he owns if you would please, sweetheart, just please let him fuck you properly already.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He asked Kate once—ONCE—what he might be able to do, in her opinion as a woman, to take better “care” of you. She’d stared at him for a silent, awkward, infinite moment, and when she finally replied it was to address a completely different subject. He’d downed the remainder of scotch in his glass and asked the bartender for another. The best case scenario would have had Kate pretend to forget that he’d ever so much as thought to ask her, but no—later that night, she sent him a fucking Cosmopolitan listicle, not because she’s finally decided to be helpful but because she wants him to know: she remembers. She will always remember.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

John reaches about 6 inches fully erect, is uncircumcised, and is thicker toward the base of his cock. It’s an average length and shape, but he has never been, and never will be, an average man, not on the battlefield and not in the bedroom. His balls are a little larger than average, though, and they sit low and heavy. It’s actually rather fitting, for a captain who threatened to hunt a four-star general down.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

You wouldn’t know it, because he keeps it under control as much as he does everything else, but John always wants you. There are hints of it—the intensity of his gaze, the low baritone his voice can reach when addressing you even in the company of others. The way he maneuvers himself into position at your side, not so close as to be unprofessional, but close enough to feel the energy radiating off of him in waves. You always get drunk on him, on what he gives you in bed, but sometimes it’s a surprise to be reminded that he’s every bit as drunk on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Part of the reason John gets up immediately to do the little chores of aftercare, at least sometimes, is to keep himself from falling straight to sleep. He isn’t always exhausted after he’s fucked your brains out, but the world is getting more complicated. His job is getting bloodier. Someone is always screwing over someone else, and he tasked himself a long time ago with fixing all of that. He has to be able to get up and do it. It’s why he’s honed the control he has over himself to such a sharp edge. It’s why, when he finally lets go and lets you take the reins, he’s never as mad or as frustrated about it afterwords as he is in the moment. But he really needs to be reminded that he’s allowed to rest. That he’s allowed to settle into the comfortable afterglow, to breathe in silence just for a little while. In the end, you have to be the one to ask him, wouldn’t you like to lay down with me, John? Wouldn’t you like to just hold each other, for a bit? And always, his answer is yes. When you ask like that, soft and sweet, he cannot deny you.

[ackerfics]

hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them

she — hange zoe

— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else

— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.

— word count: 2.5k

— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.

She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.

“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”

Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.

The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].

“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”

“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”

Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”

“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”

“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”

Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”

“Oh? What are those things?”

The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.

[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”

“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”

“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.

“Anything for my sweetheart.”

“Again, I’m right here, you know.”

Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.

But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.

The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.

A friend.

Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.

Fall is where everything started.

The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.

Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”

A pause made the breeze’s call known.

“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”

That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.

“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.

She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”

Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”

She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”

Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”

“Yeah, it’s her.”

Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.

It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.

But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.

“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].

“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”

“And what of my feelings, Levi?”

That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.

Then, the dam broke.

“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.

“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?

“Why didn’t she choose me?”

Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.

“Hange,” Erwin murmured.

“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”

A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.

“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”

“Stop it! You’re prettier!”

“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”

“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”

“Me, too, angel.”

Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”

The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.

Winter is here.

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@angelofthorr