#so truly thank you so much for sending it in!!!

[lizziesfirstwife]

A…demon baby?

jinu x pregnant!reader

warnings: mentions of periods & birth & death & blood, worried and clueless jinu, worried reader, mentions of abortion & sex if you squint, curse words

word count: 2577

author’s note: This is the result of a poll I did a few days ago. We need a whole “pregnant with a demon’s baby” guide from Rumi’s mom, with the amount of thirst going on for Jinu. Also, I’ve never been pregnant, so feel free to send me a dm so I can correct any mistakes!

You were terrified. Truly terrified.

It started on Monday. You woke up, head pounding and with a strong urge to pee.

When you were sitting on the toilet and opened the bathroom cabinet to fish out a new roll of toilet paper, you spotted it.

Unopened. Untouched. The pack of tampons you had bought two months ago when your last period had used up your entire supply. You shook your head.

It must be the stress.

Maybe it was work.

You hadn't been eating as much as usual lately, too busy and too tired.

Monday turned into Wednesday. When you woke up that morning, everything was normal until you got out of bed. As soon as your legs touched the floor, you were sprinting to the bathroom.

Thank God he wasn’t here.

You hadn't told Jinu about your ongoing nausea or the headaches that had been plaguing you for two days now.

You hadn't even been together that long.

Two months ago, he had told you about his true self. You didn't want to believe him at first, didn't want to believe that your boyfriend of four months was a demon from hell who had originally planned to sacrifice humanity to an ominous Demon King. Until he showed you his markings.

You sighed and looked out the window of your gynecologist’s office. It was Friday, the weather as gloomy as your mind.

Damn it, you'd only been together for six months. Just half a year. Not married. You haven’t even celebrated your first anniversary together or each other’s birthday. Or any other holiday, for that matter.

How could it even be possible? You were human. He was a demon. Those were stories that all the holy scriptures warned against and told scary tales about.

Humans who became pregnant with the children of demons.

But Jinu wasn't like them. Not anymore.

Since Rumi, a K-pop idol who turned out to be a sixth-generation demon hunter, defeated the Demon King a month ago in the middle of your boyfriend's concert with the help of his power, he has been freed from his demonic self.

Was he now completely human again? You didn't know. Sometimes you felt like he still had his sharp senses, that he had only shed his markings and demon eyes. But you knew that this... baby, this little being, was definitely conceived when he was still a demon.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when your doctor's assistant called out your name and brought you to a room at the end of the hallway.

You never liked gynecologists. Your dislike wasn’t about the doctors themselves or the fact that they had the ability to diagnose and treat all these cruel fates and diseases. Rather, it was your aversion to the environment, the chair, the clinically white walls, and the sterile approach to just everything. Of course you were glad that everything was handled utterly professionally, but it felt so…cold.

As if you were a product.

You forced out a smile when the doctor entered the room and sat down on a stool next to the treatment chair you were lying on.

"How can I help you today?"

You played with your fingers. You had never been in a situation like this before, never in a situation where you thought you might be pregnant. Until now, you had been happy about that fact, but now that the possibility of carrying a child was there, you didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the thought.

"I think I might be pregnant. I live with my boyfriend, and... we love each other, if you can say it like that."

The doctor nodded, no hint of judgment in her eyes, just the wish to do her job.

She typed something in her tablet as she looked up at you again.

"When was your last period?"

You looked down at your lap. You remembered Monday the moment you saw the unopened pack of tampons in your bathroom cabinet.

"Eight weeks ago."

She nodded and entered something else into her tablet before setting it aside and rolling her stool closer.

"We are going to do an ultrasound to see if I can see anything. The gel might be a little cold, but it will help me see if there's anything there or not. You'll need to bare your stomach for this."

You could only nod and pull up your T-shirt.

She dripped a little gel onto the head of the ultrasound device and began to gently move it around your lower abdomen.

You couldn’t stop staring at the small screen next to the chair, unable to decipher anything but a black and white mass.

She continued to roll the device around until she suddenly stopped.

Nodding, she pressed a button on the ultrasound machine to take a picture of the frame on the screen.

"Do you see this little white mass here? It very certainly looks like a fetus“, the doctor said, pointing her index finger to a small white shape on the screen.

Your heart stayed still. You couldn't look away, couldn't look away as she pointed to the vaguely recognizable shape of a head.

"Yes," she said, “judging by the size, it also matches your last period. It should be just about 8 weeks old."

A small tear rolled down your cheek. Despite the fact that this was definitely not planned, it was not unwanted. You had never planned to have children. But you had never been so devotedly in love with anyone as you were with Jinu, never felt so safe and secure in anyone's arms as you did in his.

"You can't tell yet whether it's a girl or a boy, can you?"

The doctor smiled and took another photo before putting the wand aside and looking at you. She shook her head and pressed a button, making a small photo come out of the device.

"No," she said, handing you the photo and paper towels to dry your belly, "it will take another two months for it to be recognizable."

You nodded, remembering the biology lessons you had in school ages ago.

"To make sure all your vitals are okay and to really confirm that you are pregnant, we need to run a blood test next week to check your pregnancy hormone levels. Even though I could already see that you are pregnant, this is just a matter of procedure.“

The woman threw you a smile and gave you a small appointment note for next week. “Congratulations also to the father-to-be. You will receive your maternity log after we analyze the results of the blood test next week."

You smiled. You were pregnant. And for the first time in five days, you didn't feel like vomiting.

𓂃⋆.˚

It was already dark when you arrived home. You had bought a few things at the convenience store, some sweets you liked that you ate already, and the grape juice packs that Jinu liked so much. You were shopping for far more things than you even needed, and you didn’t know why you were so afraid to come home.

The apartment was quiet, except for the soft hum of the TV, which told you that Jinu was already home from night dance practice.

One habit he had picked up during the months you had been together was watching documentaries about savanna animals. A strange habit, although you usually ended up next to him on the couch anyway, falling asleep on his lap.

"Ji, I'm home!"

You didn't bother to wait for an answer and instead started unpacking the few shopping bags you carried all day. You still couldn't believe it. You were pregnant, pregnant with the child of a demon.

God, it sounded like something out of a teen novel and Twilight combined! Even though the thought hadn't really sunk in yet, you already noticed how your body automatically moved differently, more carefully around the edges in the kitchen, mindful of bumping into strangers on the crowded bus.

Two arms wrapped around your waist, a pair of soft lips pressing against your neck, leaving a few kisses.

You laughed quietly and turned around.

"Hello to you too."

Jinu hummed and rested his arms on either side of you, crooking his head to the side with a small smile.

"Where have you been all day? I postponed dance practice because I thought you'd be off work too."

You sighed. You couldn't tell him. Deep down, you knew he wouldn't be angry, not this documentary-loving, grape juice-drinking idiot.

"I went grocery shopping. I wanted to make apple pie tomorrow. I don't know if you've ever had it before, but so far no one has complained about mine."

You forced a smile onto your lips. You wanted so badly to tell him, but he had already had to deal with enough over the past few months. He shouldn't have to take on the burden of a baby as well, especially since it wasn't certain how likely it was that this child would survive the pregnancy or that you would survive giving birth.

Jinu sighed and turned around to help you unpack the paper bags.

"I was thinking we could fly to Paris for our anniversary."

You laughed and put the apples in the fruit bowl.

"That's still six months away, isn't it? Why Paris all of a sudden?"

Jinu hummed and shrugged his shoulders as he unpacked the bags one by one.

"It's the city of love, isn't it? Besides, I remember you telling me that you flew to Paris with your French class when you were a teenager. So at least one of us can speak French and order our food.”

You bit your lip and raised an eyebrow, holding peppers in one hand and cabbage in the other. "I was glad when I could opt out of that class. And…do we really have to plan so far in advance? We don't know if something will come up before then..."

Jinu frowned and just looked at you.

"Are you okay? When you told me about it a few weeks ago, you were really excited about the possibility of flying there again. I only mean well; we don't lack the money to make it happen after all.”

You just nodded and put the peppers and cabbage in the refrigerator.

"I'm just saying. We don't know if something will come up for you with the next tour or if we'll be busy with other things by then."

"What’s this?"

You didn’t bother turning around as you were putting the milk in the pantry.

"Yeobo (darling)?"

“Hm?”

You bit your lip when the second carton of milk didn't fit in the cupboard and sighed. You needed to clear out some things on the weekend.

"What?"

With the milk carton in your hand, you turned around.

There he stood, frozen in place, holding a small square picture in his hand.

"Jinu?"

He looked up at you, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Did this accidentally end up in the bag? Has it been used by someone else before? The bag, I mean.”

You just stood there and carefully placed the milk carton behind you on the kitchen counter.

"No."

He looked at you with a confused expression, which only made you look away.

"Please look at me. What do you mean, no?"

You slowly looked up at him and played with your fingers.

"It's mine."

Jinu slowly nodded and looked down at the picture.

"And what exactly is this?"

Your eyebrows rose, and you almost had to smile.

"You... never mind. It's an ultrasound picture."

"Okay..."

"I'm pregnant. That white thing," you said, walking gently toward him, "is a baby you see there."

His head snapped up toward you, and his eyes widened.

"What?"

You looked up at him, toes dancing slightly in your socks.

"I'm pregnant, Ji."

His mouth opened, but no sound came out.

"How..."

He shook his head and instead just wrapped his arms around you.

The air escaped from your lungs from the severity of his embrace, and it took you a few seconds to return the gesture.

"Shibal... are you okay? Is everything alright? Is everything okay with the baby?"

You pressed your lips together and nodded. "Yes, yes... I went to the doctor today. Eight weeks."

Jinu frowned and stroked your hair.

“Aren’t you mad?”

Jinu looked at you confused and stopped in his tracks.

“Why would I be mad? This is our baby, made out of our love for each other. This maybe was unplanned, but not unwanted.”

He scanned you with his eyes.

"What's wrong? Don't... do you not want it?"

A small tear ran down your face, and you had to look up and blink so you wouldn't start crying.

"No, of course I want it! But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared. How could this even happen?"

Jinu raised an eyebrow, and you could already see the smug sentence forming on his tongue.

You rolled your eyes.

"Of course I know how it happened, but... is that even possible? A demon and a human... a half-blood? That sounds like a bad episode of Harry Potter."

Jinu didn't laugh, and you wanted to slap your forehead when you remembered that you still hadn't gotten around to showing him the movies.

You sighed and laced your hands with his.

"I don't even know if this," you pointed to your stomach, "will work, and whether I or the baby will even..."

Jinu shook his head and put a finger under your chin so you would look up at him.

"Don't even think about it... I know someone whose parents were in exactly the same situation as us now. And she is more than fine, living as healthy and happy as everyone else.”

You frowned. "Who?"

Jinu bit his lip and looked at his feet before he looked at you again.

"Rumi."

Your jaw dropped, and you looked at him in disbelief.

"The Rumi from Huntrix? Your former rival Rumi? The Rumi who is a demon hunter?"

Jinu just nodded.

"Man, you know I love gossip! Why didn't you tell me about this?!”

He laughed and gently stroked your shoulders with his thumbs.

"It wasn't relevant until now. But I just wanted to tell you so you wouldn't panic."

He shook his head and looked deep into your eyes.

"You, I... we'll get through this. I know this wasn't planned, but hey…. We've been through way more stressful things together. We will get through this too. The baby will be fine, you'll be fine, and I'll make sure of that."

You nodded slowly. "Doesn't the baby need souls to survive too, then? It’s half demon, after all."

Jinu laughed and shook his head, clearly amused by your question.

"Rumi eats normal food and lives a normal life. If she now eats normal food, I don’t think she needed souls before being born.”

You nodded again and sighed deeply.

"You're so good at calming me down. I feel like I don't even deserve you most times.”

Jinu shook his head and smiled.

"No, I don't deserve you."

You wanted to say something in response when he silenced you with a kiss.

You didn't know that Jinu had already hidden a ring in his desk drawer when he first saw you.

But soon a beautiful ring would sparkle on your finger, with a baby on the way and a wonderful man by your side.

Oh, and you would have a word with him about gossip.

˖ ݁♬⋆.˚𝄞.

Thank you for reading!

If you liked this piece of fiction in any way, I would appreciate a like, reblog, or comment very much!

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.ᐟ>ᴗ<.ᐟ ᢉ𐭩

[five-rivers]

This is the poll to determine the second main plot point for my experimental audience participation fic (search 'experimental fic' on my blog for more information). This poll is being held because the runners-up options were too close to call. While runners-up on this poll will not be included in the fic from the beginning as a main plot point, I will write a mini fic for each as a thank you for participating.

Submitted propaganda and prompt credits are under the cut below the poll.

Send me an ask if you have any questions!

Prompt credits: @axion-labs, @trinoxtrinox, @icos-x, @jackdaw-sprite

Propaganda for the Pitch Pearl prompt (via @axion-labs):

- Rivers said in the initial post that started all this that they wanted practice writing ships, so you’ll be doing them a favor (I can’t fathom why Rivers of all people claims to need practice, just look at the 400 fics they’ve written, but whatever) - The first place plot is Danny concerningly oversharing, which plays well into a toxic relationship (or a perceived toxic because ghost shenanigans? Lots of directions to go with it) - Over-possessive relationships are so much fun with ghosts involved! A ghosts’ obsession, the core of their being, becoming another person? - Please?

Propaganda for the Ancient Adoption prompt (via @trinoxtrinox):

Rivers is the ruler and monarch for soft body horror, they have already made many stories where Danny has changed slowly and those stories are always a beauty. Now imagine how far it would go when Danny is under the influence of MANY DIFFERENT GHOSTS, Danny truly is made of playdough and he's being molded by so many hands that anything is possible.

Propaganda for Amity Lair prompt (via @bonuscatart):

I've seen fics where Amity is Danny's haunt, but I don't think I've read one where it's his lair. It would be cool to see how Amity is affected by something usually in the Ghost Zone

Propaganda for Field Trip Gone Wrong prompt (via @jackdaw-sprite):

- It plays very well with the first place winner, which is Danny saying too many alarming things to the wrong person. Who is that person? Any one of his classmates, or Mr. Lancer. Or all of them! Imagine the chaos! - It's got a built in explanation for why Danny is even saying these things! He's trapped and can't redirect attention away from himself! It's got drama! it's got confrontation! - We don't torment Danny socially nearly enough - Imagine being a teenager who has managed to fuck up badly enough at keeping your mouth shut that at least one of your classmates and possibly your entire class is trying to get answers out of you. Despite being in a Situation. Mortifying! - It's even worse when you've got ghost powers you are theoretically very practiced at hiding. That you're worried might result in dissection if they come out - Only maybe half of Danny's classmates are normal about Phantom. imagine how Dash, Paulina, Valerie, and maybe even Wes would react in this situation. imagine all of them effectively locked in a bottle with Danny at the same time as he tries and fails to keep his secret. - We don't torment Danny socially nearly enough. I already said that but I think now you understand exactly what kind of torment this is, and how fun it would be to watch him squirm. - If you vote for this, we could get Rivers to do this to Danny. Imagine.

[drcrygorsdailydose]

Prolly my turn to send an "I looooove your art" ask! It's truly so so so beautiful and your take on Crygor is very special to me

THANK YOU SO MUCH IM SO GLAD!! I hope you don’t mind my snooping but I saw your tag under this post and I had to draw it

Day 122. Wario on the phone pt 2

[the-blind-assassin-12]

Survivor Blues

Part Seven: Just Dinner

A/N: This chapter has been a long time coming, but I have to say I am pretty darn proud of it. I hid a few little nuggets in here that I'm curious to see if anyone finds. This is where things finally start getting going between Joel and Reader... sort of. Anywho, to anyone still reading this series even after all the long gaps in between updates, you have my undying gratitude and I truly hope you enjoy this one. <3

A/N 2: The song referenced in this part is Hold You In My Arms by Ray LaMontagne

Warnings: Some light angst but I think that's pretty much it. Oh, and Joel's biceps.

Word Count: 9,894

Summary: Contrary to what everyone (aka Tommy, Maria, Ellie and Dina) are trying to tell you, your dinner with Joel is not a date.

June - 2037

For the first time in nearly two decades, you found yourself contemplating what to wear. 

Since the day you left Gavin’s family farm, your clothing choices had always been made out of necessity and availability. You wore long pants, because when layered with stockings and thermals they kept you warm in the winter, and despite the heat in the summer, they kept your skin protected from everything from mosquitoes and poison ivy to cuts, scrapes and burns. You wore thick, shapeless shirts to hide your frame and your curves, an oversized jacket on top of that when the weather called for it. Things like colors and patterns ceased to matter when dressing for survival, and so did variety. Instead, durability and packability were the qualities you sought in your wardrobe. 

Now, though, you had more than one change of clothing. You had t-shirts with both short and long sleeves, flannel button downs and pullover sweaters and hoodies. There were a few pairs of sweatpants, three pairs of jeans in varying denim washes, and two pairs of shorts. There was even a dark blue sundress and a long yellow skirt hanging in the closet. 

Those last two additions had come from Maria, the woman not taking “But when am I going to need those?” as an answer. “When the weather warms up,” she’d said with a shrug, shoving them into your arms. 

Shutting the closet door, you walked back over to the dresser. It’s not that warm yet. You pulled open a drawer and chose the pair of jeans that fit you best. In truth, it was upwards of seventy degrees during the day, and with a sweater you would have been fine with either the skirt or the dress, even after the sun started to sink. But you didn’t want to send the wrong message by overdressing for what was supposed to be a thank you dinner. It’s not like it’s a date or anything. 

You laughed out loud at that thought. A date? Come on. What would that even look like now? Can I even… You shook your head. It had been almost thirty years since your last first date, and you were in no rush to change that. Besides, that’s not what this is. At all. 

The framed photo atop your dresser snagged your attention then, and you could hear the snort of laughter that Gavin would always let out when he told anyone the story of your first date. “You didn’t even think it was a date, Sugar,” he’d say, his arm around you as he warmed you with a grin that made his eyes gleam with affection. “But I was already half in love with you before we finished dinner.” 

You’d playfully roll your eyes, sometimes pointing out that a lemonade and a soft pretzel from the Philly Pretzel Factory hardly counted as dinner. Other times you’d remind him that there had been no doubt in your mind regarding his intentions when he asked you on a second date, because of how he’d kissed you on your doorstep, still tasting like salt and lemons. “I caught on quick enough,” you’d say through a smirk that would melt into a smile as you’d lean in to kiss the tip of his nose. 

“Lucky, lucky me,” he’d reply, and that was typically when your friends or Laura would groan and toss a couch pillow or napkin at you, complaining about how insufferably in love the two of you were. 

Reaching out with one hand, you gently gripped the frame and ran your thumb over the lacquered wood. “Lucky, lucky me, too, Gav.” 

You pulled your hand away, a faint smile still lingering on your lips from the memory as you opened your top drawer and returned to pondering what to wear to Joel’s… and whether or not you were about to go two for two with being unaware that you were on a date. Choosing a green tee with faded white print advertising a local farmer’s market, you thought about the likelihood of Joel ending the night with a kiss to ensure that you knew where he stood. “That’s not what this is,” you said, shutting the drawer. 

But is it what I want it to be? 

Without really meaning to, you imagined what it would feel like to be kissed by Joel Miller. Would he be gentle? Cup your cheek with one of his big, work-worn hands and slowly close the distance until his lips found yours? Would it be slow-building, or incendiary? Would he pin you to the wall with his hips, one hand behind your head? Let you taste his tongue and feel the scruff of his beard? And what kind of sounds would he make? Soft, contented sighs? Thick, husky ones from the back of his throat? Would he speak between kisses? Would he-

You suddenly realized you were tightly clutching and twisting the t-shirt you’d just chosen to wear, your breathing becoming uneven as you got caught up in things you shouldn’t have been thinking about. “It’s just fucking dinner,” you said through a slow exhale. “Now go wash your face.” 

Re-folding and setting your shirt on the bed along with a fresh pair of jeans, you headed into the bathroom and gave yourself a good, cold splash. The water did its job of clearing your thoughts, and you finished getting yourself ready, brushing your teeth and checking your reflection. 

You had fully admitted to yourself that you found Joel attractive. He was handsome, strong, and kind, and there was something woven through his eyes that made your chest swell whenever they locked on yours. But you also had to wonder whether or not your imagination would keep wandering away from you if it weren’t for the comments from others regarding your invitation to Joel’s. 

Both Tommy and Maria had used the phrase “I think it’s great” - Maria after overhearing your conversation with Joel outside of the community center, and Tommy later that same day, when he thanked you for the carrot muffin you’d asked Joel to pass along. 

“So,” he’d jumped topics after complimenting your baking, “Joel mentioned he was havin’ you over on Thursday night.” A smile softened his eyes before showing on his lips. “I think it’s great, you two gettin’ to know each other.” Before you could interject that it was just a meal, he continued. “You know, it’s been a long time since Joel’s trusted someone as quick as he seems to be trustin' you. S’nice to see.” His mustache twitched, the smile spreading as he said your name. “Think you might just be a good influence on my grumpy big brother.” 

Time froze for a few seconds as Tommy’s comment sunk in, your heart seeming to stop right along with it, because you’d heard it once before.  

It echoed one of the very first conversations you’d ever had with Laura, shortly after you’d started dating Gavin. Though you’d met her before he introduced you to his family as his girlfriend, when she would stop at the cafe to visit her brother on her way to or from work, you and she had never had a one on one until about a month into your relationship. The three of you had been out at some bar that likely hadn’t survived the fire bombs after the outbreak, and Gavin had either gone to the bathroom or to grab more drinks, leaving you and his sister alone for the first time. A whole half second passed before Laura took advantage of his absence to speak her mind. 

“You know,” she poked her straw around her glass, using it to move the ice cubes that were left at the bottom before she lifted her gaze to yours. “I’ve seen a huge change in my brother since he met you.” Like Tommy’s, you remembered how her hazel eyes held a smile that hadn’t found her lips yet. You could even recall the way the bar lights shone in them, giving away the wetness gathered in their corners. “He, uh,” she’d swallowed a lump of emotion, turned it into a little laugh. “I haven’t seen him this happy in a really long time.” The smile finally formed, a tear running down onto it. “He’s taking better care of himself again, too,” she’d added, and you knew she was talking about the health issues that Gavin had begun to share with you, including how they’d been made worse when his depression compounded things, sending him into a spiral where he’d convinced himself it wasn’t worth fighting anymore. “And I think I have you to thank for that. I think you might have… I think you saved his life.” 

“Oh, I don’t know about that, Laura,” you had tried to deflect. 

She hadn’t let you, though, reaching over to place a hand on your shoulder. “I do.” She gave you a wink, her cheek scrunching the same way Gavin’s did when he made the same expression. “You’re a good influence on him.”

You’d answered Laura the same way that you responded to Tommy. “Think he might be a good influence on me, too.” 

And you meant it, both times that you said it. 

You’d met Gavin at a time in your life when you were desperately looking for a spark, and though he was struggling through a darkness of his own, you’d somehow been able to find that spark together. You helped him see just how much he had to live for, just how much good was waiting for him once he got healthy, and how very worthwhile it was for him to fight through every setback, every surgery, every shitty day spent in a hospital room. He helped you see yourself as someone who deserved happiness, who was capable of achieving whatever you set your mind to, someone who was stronger than anyone had ever given you credit for.  

By the time you met Joel, you felt that the spark had gone out. You didn’t feel strong when he found you, half-starved and freezing, crumpled up on that old mattress. You didn’t feel capable, your inability to protect Kyle still far too fresh when Joel helped you off of his horse in Jackson for you to label yourself as anything less than a failure. And as far as you were concerned, you’d watched your last chance at feeling real happiness flicker out along with the life in your nephew’s eyes. 

But even though the interactions you’d had with Joel had been short barring the one supply run the two of you had gone on together, you found yourself feeling more and more at ease each time your paths crossed. Your smile felt less like a mask every time he brought it out of you with something he said, or with one of his own, in a way that you didn’t notice with others in town. And while you felt safe everywhere you went inside Jackson’s walls, you couldn’t help but notice that the feeling was amplified whenever Joel was around, to the point where his presence made you more able to be fully in the moment instead of having one foot stuck in your past. 

He was showing you, whether he knew it or not, that the spark hadn’t gone out. It just needed some air, and Joel had opened a window. 

You finished getting ready, changing out of the flour-streaked clothes that you’d hastily baked in that morning, and opting for the pair of canvas sneakers you hardly ever wore over the rugged boots you usually chose. Taking a breath and letting it out slowly, you tucked your chain and rings beneath your shirt, pressing your hand over them for a beat, and then you were ready. Before you could let your nerves get the best of you or look for a reason not to go, you flicked off the lights in your room and headed to the kitchen to grab the dessert you made. Securing the lid on the container, you swallowed, nodded, and left. 

“Okay. Here we go.” 

Though it was close to seven the sun was still shining bright and warm. As soon as you stepped outside you closed your eyes and smiled, enjoying the way it hit your face. It wasn’t technically summer yet, but you could feel it right around the corner. Since it was a short walk to Joel’s and you had about ten minutes before he expected you, you took your time. Around town, flowers and shrubs were in bloom. Not just in the greenhouses, but in people’s yards and window boxes, too, little pops of white and yellow and blue and pink making pathways and gardens more vibrant. 

I should get a plant for the living room. That window gets enough light and it would be nice to- 

A soon as you turned down Main Street, you heard your name being called from the opposite corner, turning in time to see Dina, her eyes bright as she jogged over to you. Stepping to the side to allow others to pass, you waited for her, both because you genuinely liked the girl - she was always friendly and had made you laugh a handful of times when she came into the bakery - and because you were stalling a bit in hopes that the nerves you felt would calm themselves before you arrived at your destination. 

“Hi, Dina,” you greeted her with a smile, shielding your eyes from the sun with your unoccupied hand. 

“Hey,” she beamed back at you. “What’re you up to? And what are those?” She pointed to the tupperware you carried as she asked the second question, then sucked in a gasp before you could answer either one. “Wait, is it tonight? Huh? Is what tonight? “Are you on your way to Joel’s?” 

“Um-” You blinked at her, your hand falling back to your side as you tried to figure out what was happening with the interaction. How does she know about… Maybe Ellie told her? But why does she look so… “I’m- Yeah.” You finally nodded. “He invited me over for dinner.” 

Her smile grew, tongue poking into her cheek. “Oh, I know he did.”

You let out a confused laugh. “I guess Ellie told you?” 

“What?” Her eyes widened at the mention of the girl’s name. “No, Joel did.” What? Your confusion only seemed to entertain her more. “Saw him at the grocer yesterday, pondering the offerings at the butcher counter,” she explained, jutting her chin in the direction of the store. “Now, I happen to know that he and Ellie eat pretty much the same five meals on rotation, so I figured, using my brilliant observational skills, that his indecision meant he was having company. And because I’m such a helpful person,” she placed one hand on her chest and set her features into an earnest and innocent expression. “I went over to offer my assistance.” 

Uh huh. “You went over to be nosy,” you teased, raising one eyebrow. 

She gasped again, this time the sound more exaggerated. “Me? Nosy? Never!” The wink she added only confirmed your accusation. “But anyway, yeah. I asked him what the occasion was that had him so stumped by protein choices, and he told me you were coming over for dinner, and he didn’t know what you’d like.” 

Oh. You were already touched that Joel had asked you over for dinner. To hear that he had given such thought to what to serve amplified the feeling and sent warmth to your cheeks and a flutter to your chest. Clearing your throat, you wet your lips and responded. “Well I hope you told him not to fuss too much.” 

She chuckled through a smirk. “First of all, Joel could do with a little fuss now and then. But-” She held up one finger to silence your protest. “Don’t worry. I told him to keep it simple.” 

“Good.” You nodded once. “I’m not picky and I’d hate for him to go through a bunch of trouble just to-” 

“So is this like a date?” She cut you off, jerking her head in the direction that you had been going as she started walking that way. “Or-” 

“It’s not,” you assured her, falling into step with the girl. So much for stalling a little. “We’re just…” Your sentence trailed off then because you had no clue how to complete it. Friends? Patrol partners? Neighbors? The last one wasn’t true. You’d chosen the apartments on the other side of town over the vacant house next to his. Shaking your head, you went with the first option. “We’re friends. He’s just being friendly.” 

She snorted, saying something under her breath that you didn’t quite catch but that sounded like “oh is that what they’re calling it now?”

“What was that?” You asked, shooting her a narrow, sideways glance. 

“I said,” she fought to keep from laughing again, lips pressed together. “That’s so nice. Of Joel. To be so friendly.” Before you could say that she definitely did not say that, she changed the subject. “So, back to my other question.” She pointed at the container you held. “What are those, and can I try one?” 

It was your turn to laugh then, popping open the top of the container so she could grab one. “They’re strawberry jam bars, and yeah, go ahead. I didn’t get a chance to taste one before I left, so you’ll have to tell me how they are.”

“My pleasure,” she said, reaching in and grabbing one. “I’m sure it’s gonna be freakin’ fantastic, though. Actually…” Gesturing with the bar halfway to her mouth, she turned to you with eager excitement. “Can you teach me how to bake sometime?”

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your lips then, or the warm sense of nostalgia that her question brought on, your memory flashing back to the farm, a tiny Kyle standing on a stool to help you roll out biscuit dough. “Absolutely,” you answered at the same time that Dina took a bite of her bar, her eyes falling closed as she let out a content little noise. “Good?” 

Snapping her eyes open and giving you a look that said “dumb question”, she nodded. “Holy shit, that’s amazing.” She took another bite and then gently nudged your arm with her elbow. “Joel is gonna love these.”

You recalled the satisfied groan he made after biting into one of your carrot muffins, your insides going goey at the thought that you might get to hear that sound again. Oh, fuck. “I hope so,” you responded. 

“He will,” she promised, then changed the subject again, looking you up and down. “No jacket or anything? Are you staying overnight?” 

“What? No.” You shook your head as she finished off her bar, sucking jam from her thumb. “No, I’m just… Dina, we’re just having dinner.” She rolled her eyes and mouthed the word “okay”, and you chose to ignore it. “And,” you tipped your chin back to look up at the clear, blue sky. “It’s going to be a beautiful summer night, I won’t need a jacket.”

“Whatever you say,” she quipped, spinning on the toe of one foot as the two of you reached the next corner. “I’m heading this way to meet up with Jesse and Paolo and a couple others. You have a great time at Joel’s.” She winked, then went on before you could click your tongue at her continued insinuation. “Oh! I’ll stop into the bakery one day this week so we can talk about lessons if that’s cool?” 

“Sounds good, Dina.” You smiled. “You have a good night, too.” 

She flashed you a peace sign and you laughed, imagining the girl picking up the gesture from some old movie she’d watched. She’s funny. Though you were sure that she and Ellie and the other kids in town had gone through hardships they never should have had to face, and endured things they never should have had to, you were glad that she and they were still able to have fun and joke around and generally enjoy life. That’s the whole point of this place, right? To have something worth- 

Your thoughts were interrupted as the bell above the multi-faith church announced the hour, tolling seven times. Oh, shit! I’m supposed to be there now. Nerves and excitement bubbling back up in your chest, you quickened your step and hurried the rest of the way, arriving only a few minutes later than you originally intended. 

Though it wasn’t the first time you’d seen the house from the outside - you’d glanced at it when Maria had given you your initial tour of the town - it was the first time you’d laid eyes on it knowing that it belonged to Joel. Since then you’d had no reason to venture into that part of the neighborhood, so you hadn’t returned to Rancher Street until Joel invited you to. 

Approaching it slowly, you gave yourself a minute to take in some of the details that you definitely missed the last time you were there - his last name, hand-lettered on the mailbox, the freshly painted fence posts and railings, a wind chime hanging from the covered porch, the well-trodden path from the driveway back to Ellie’s converted garage apartment. All of it, including the faded welcome mat at the top of the porch steps, made you smile to yourself. It’s not just where they live, it’s…  

Something else caught your eye then that punctuated the point that this place had become their home and not just a place to stay - a small pile of wood curls beneath the rocker on the porch, and a half-finished butterfly figurine on the side table next to a whittling knife. You couldn’t help but imagine Joel sitting there, his big, rough hands working so delicately on the small piece, coaxing the creature out of the block of wood one deft swipe of his blade at a time. It was a stark contrast to the way that you’d seen him handle a knife to fight off the pair of infected that the two of you had encountered on your supply run, and it made you even more curious about the man who was cooking you dinner. 

Deciding that you’d dawdled long enough, you finally lifted your fist and knocked.

Before your arm had dropped back to your side, you heard Ellie call out from inside. “I’ll get it!” 

The sound of her quick footsteps was accompanied by Joel’s much deeper voice. “Ellie,” you heard, followed by an exasperated sound. “Just gimme a second and I’ll-” 

But she didn’t give him the second he asked for, the door swinging open to reveal her grinning up at you. “Hey,” she greeted you, stepping aside and sweeping her arm in a grandiose gesture. “Come on in.” 

“Hey, Ellie.” You smiled back at her and walked through the door, the girl closing it behind you. “I’m sorry I’m a few minutes late, I ran into Dina on the way and-”

“Well, it’s not a patrol shift.” 

You turned as Joel emerged from the kitchen, a blue, green and white striped dish towel slung over his shoulder. Oh. Hi. He was wearing a rusty orange tee that pulled tightly across his broad frame and brought out the warm tones in his eyes, a pair of dark jeans, and light gray socks without shoes. His hair had been pushed back while it was still wet, the curls, now dry, more tame than they were the last time you saw him. The sight of him, so casual and relaxed, hit you like a freight train, and you were grateful that he spoke again, because for at least a second or two, you stood there speechless. 

“No one’s checkin’ that you’re signed in at seven on the dot.” The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. “And I know all about how talkative Dina can be, so it’s a wonder you got here quick as you did.”

“Hi, Joel,” you finally managed, pulling your shit together as much as you could and hoping he couldn’t tell that your temperature had risen a few degrees since you walked through his door. “Thanks again for having me over. Its-” 

He waved you off with one hand, the ever-present cracked watch he wore catching your eye as it caught the dwindling sunlight coming through the front windows. “It’s nothin’, really. I’m glad you could make it.” 

You thought about making a joke about how full your social calendar was, but decided not to downplay things just because he was. Maybe it was nothing big to him - though you weren’t sure if that was the case based on Tommy, Maria and even Ellie and Dina’s commentary - but it was far from nothing to you. “I am, too.” The two of you stood there for another beat, hesitant smiles on both of your lips and silence hanging in the air until you cleared your throat and glanced down at your sneakers. “Should I take these off, or-”  

And that was when Ellie had seemingly reached her limit on awkward moments, because the girl groaned before Joel could answer the question you hadn’t even gotten out yet. 

“Oh my god, come on, you two. Get out of the foyer. You can leave your shoes on,” she said, turning to face you. “Or take them off if you want. Whatever, it literally doesn’t matter. And I’ll take this,” she added, taking the tupperware out of your hands and whipping around to direct her next words at Joel. “Since someone seems to have forgotten how to greet company. Joel.” She gave him a pointed look, widening her eyes as you fought back a chuckle. “Ask her if she wants a drink or-” 

“Alright, alright now, kiddo.” Joel swiped the towel from his shoulder and tossed it so that it hit Ellie square in the face. “Ain’t you supposed to be meetin’ your friends right about now?” 

“Okay, I’m going.” She squeezed past him and into the kitchen, calling your name over her shoulder. “Hey does whatever this is need to go in the fridge?” 

Joel stepped closer to where you stood to allow the girl to get through, and you were extremely aware of his eyes on you as you looked over his shoulder to answer her. “The counter is fine, Ellie.” 

“Okay! There better be one left for me when I get back!” 

You chuckled as Joel responded. “You can’t get back ‘til you get goin’.” 

It was already the longest interaction between the two of them that you’d witnessed, and it already warmed your heart to see the way they bantered back and forth with good natured teasing. They care about each other so much. 

Just when Joel looked like he was about to say something to you, Ellie poked her head back in through the doorway. “Hey, Joel,” she hissed in a low whisper. “Don’t forget about the birds and the b-” 

Oh my god, she just said that. 

“Jesus Christ, Ellie!” He spun around to face her, the teen practically giggling as she finally disappeared with an “Okayyyyy byeeeeeee!” followed by the sound of the back door opening and banging shut. Despite the fact that he was still staring at the now-vacant doorway, you could tell that Joel was blushing, the entirety of his neck and the skin above his collar going red immediately. “I swear, that girl…” 

He turned back around, shaking his head and searching your face for any sign that you were off-put by Ellie’s behavior. Though you were just as shocked as he was by her blatant innuendo and couldn’t imagine having the gall to say that to an adult when you were her age, you tried your best to put Joel’s worry to rest by giving him a flustered little laugh. 

Joel sighed and brought one hand up to scratch at the back of his neck. “I’m sorry about-” 

“Don’t be,” you said, scrunching your nose and giving him a shrug. “It’s… She’s just-” 

“Gonna be the death of me, that one,” he finished for you. 

“I was gonna say she’s just being a teenager,” you said. “But maybe that’s the same thing?” 

Joel let out a short huff of laughter, some of the tension leaving his shoulders as he did. “Definitely. Listen, why don’t you-” Keeping with the theme of interruptions and half-spoken sentences, a timer rang from the kitchen, Joel turning with another sigh towards the sound. “Well, I really aced the timing, huh?” He muttered under his breath before starting another apology that you didn’t let him finish.

“It’s fine, Joel, really.” You nodded to the kitchen. “I can come in there with you, or I can wait out here.” Gesturing to the living room, you gave him a smile. “Your call.” 

You saw his eyes flick past you and land somewhere in the living room, a brief flash of uncertainty passing through them that cleared away as he nodded, bringing his focus back to you. “Why don’t you have a seat while I check on that. Might need more time. I can bring you a drink when I come back, water or I have some’a that iced mint tea that Agnes makes, or a whiskey if you… I don’t know if you drink?” 

“Mint tea sounds good, Joel, thank you.” 

You hadn’t had a drop of alcohol in years, never wanting to risk lowering your guard while you were on the road. And even though you were already far more relaxed in Jackson than you had been since your time at the farm, you didn’t want your first drink in years to be at Joel’s. You were completely unsure of how it would affect you after all that time, and you didn’t want to make a fool of yourself or say anything you’d regret. Maybe one of these days I’ll get over to the Tipsy Bison, but… Not here. Not tonight, anyway. 

He nodded, telling you that he would be right back, and then he ducked back into the kitchen to tend to the still-beeping timer. You held your breath as you watched him go, slowly letting it back out and stepping into the living room. 

You let your eyes wander as you headed for the couch, taking in the mantel above the fireplace, the window seat that lined one wall, and the bookcases that lined another. It was cozy, with throw pillows and blankets spread around the seating area and a worn but welcoming rug covering most of the floor. You noticed a few picture frames displayed on the end table next to the recliner and on the bookshelf, instantly clocking that one as one of Joel and Tommy when they were in their twenties. You smiled to yourself, glad that the photo still existed and that they were able to easily remember that moment because of it. I wonder what the other photo is. 

But as soon as you shifted your eyes to the other frame, it hit you all at once - the flick of Joel’s focus to something in the living room, the place of prominence next to what was obviously his preferred chair, and the sketch that Ellie had inadvertently shown you when you had gate patrol the previous night. Oh. That’s… 

It was Joel and his daughter, of that you were absolutely certain. 

You let yourself look for a few seconds, a mixture of heartache and warmth swirling in your chest as you realized just how young the girl was, how happy they both looked, and how close Ellie had gotten with her recreation of the pose. Again, you were extremely glad that he had the picture. But fuck, she should be here with him. So many people should be here with… Taking a steadying breath, you turned back to the bookshelf, unwilling to still be looking at the picture when Joel returned to the room, unable to let yourself keep thinking about everyone who wasn’t there.

Luckily, as you swiped a stray tear away, something else caught your attention - a small collection of records, one in particular drawing you forward. Is that… You sucked in a gasp. Oh, it is. Swallowing, you blinked at the familiar album art on top of the stack - a bearded, red devil holding hands and dancing with a blindfolded woman - recognizing it instantly as Ray LaMontagne’s Trouble. The record was one that Gavin played often both in your home in Philly and during the years you spent at the farmhouse. It was a broody, story-telling folk album that was extremely different from most of Gavin’s - and your -  taste in music, but it struck an emotional chord with him, and eventually you grew to love it, too. There was one song in particular that he would always pull you close and dance with you to, the two of you swaying through the kitchen or trying not to trip over your coffee table as he softly sang the lyrics into your ear. You hadn’t heard it in ages but it played in your memory as you blinked at the album art. 

“I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever…” 

You were snapped from your reverie by the sound of Joel clearing his throat, and you turned to see him walking towards you holding two glasses, extending one for you to take. “Dinner just needs a few more minutes,” he informed you as your fingers wrapped around the cool glass. “And I figured, since it’s nice out, we could eat out back. If that’s okay with you, of course.” 

Doing your best to shake the way you had been caught off guard by both the photo and the album, you nodded. “That’s fine with me. Gotta take advantage of good weather when we can, right?” There was also less of a chance of seeing something in his backyard that would bring up memories or tears, but you didn’t mention that part of your reasoning, instead trying your drink and being pleasantly surprised by how refreshing it was. Oh, I need to remember to get some of this tea from Agnes.  

“Right,” Joel agreed, bringing his own glass to his lips.

You were left in a momentary bubble of silence as you both sipped your iced teas, and though you were certain that if Ellie were still there she would have pulled her hair out over how out of practice the two of you were with this, you found comfort in the fact that you were both in the same boat and it wasn’t just you who’d forgotten how to do whatever it was you and Joel were doing. 

He cleared his throat again, tilting his head back and towards the kitchen. “Alright, well, you can come on back through here.” 

“Sure.” You nodded, following him. But as soon as you did, he remembered something else he meant to say and spun back around. 

“Oh, and if you need it, the bathroom is-” 

But you didn’t have time to stop, bumping smack into him. The hand not holding your glass shot out instinctively, palm and forearm flattening against his chest to stop your forward momentum. Joel’s free hand braced your bicep, pinky and ring finger contacting the skin just below your sleeve. Mumbled and muttered iterations of “Shit, I’m sorry,” fell from both of your lips, and for a few seconds, neither of you moved. You didn’t even breathe, but you could feel Joel’s lungs expand beneath your palm. 

You could also feel how warm and solid he was. 

You could smell the soap on his skin and the faint scent of the outdoors on his clothing from when they’d been hung to dry. 

You could see the freckles and lines of his face and the strands of color in his eyes. 

And fuck, you could feel how simple it would be to let him draw you in. To want that. 

Is that what he wants? 

You had no idea, and you still weren’t sure if he knew, either. 

“The, uh,” He clumsily recovered. “The bathroom, if you need it.” He withdrew his hand from your arm and pointed in the direction of the small hallway. “It’s just down there.” 

You swallowed, dropping your hand from his chest and turning your head to follow where he was pointing. “Got it.” Taking a breath, you slowly turned back to face him, taking half a step backwards. Glancing down at both of your glasses, you let out a little laugh to help smooth over the moment. “Look. Didn’t even spill a drop.” 

To your immense relief, Joel blinked and then a slow smile tugged at one side of his mouth. “Good.” A small chuckle escaped with the shake of his head. He turned back around, speaking over his shoulder to you as he led you the rest of the way. “I’ll try not to slam the brakes on ya again.” 

You can. 

You would have bit the inside of your cheek to keep that thought from getting out had you not been too shocked by yourself for thinking it to even worry about speaking it. Instead, you’d very intentionally changed the subject. “It smells amazing in here, Joel.” You said truthfully, the smell of herbs and roasted meat and vegetables welcoming you into the kitchen. Like the rest of the house that you’d seen so far, it felt cozy and lived in, the space neat but filled with personal touches and items. You felt a surge of warmth as your eyes landed on the magnet on the fridge that matched the one in your apartment. 

“Does it? Good. I hope you-” He sighed, one hand going to his hip and the other wiping at his brow. “I realized I should’a asked you if there was anything you can’t have or-” 

“You’re fine,” you assured him. “Besides, Dina might have mentioned that she helped you plan what to make.” 

That made him laugh, the sound filling the room and making it feel even more nourishing, the action making his face light up. “She’s somethin’ else, that one. Good kid, though. I’m glad she’s one’a Ellie’s close friends.” 

You smiled. “Yeah, I’m glad they’ve got each other, too. My friends were my whole world when I was that age.” 

Turning to open one of the cabinets, Joel took two plates down and set them on the counter. “She, uh…” “Last year Ellie’n I were goin’ through kind of a rough patch. Dina was real helpful during that.” He pulled open a drawer next, silverware clanging together as he grabbed forks and knives. “She cares a lot.” 

You thought about how insistent she’d been that your dinner with Joel was definitely a date, and though you still weren’t sure yourself, you did find it sweet that Dina genuinely wanted good things for Joel. And you. “She does,” you agreed as he turned back around, plates and silverware extended out to you. 

“Can you just bring these out back? I’m gonna grab everything from the oven and I’ll be right out.” 

“Sure.” 

He thanked you as you took the plates from him, taking them and your drink out to the back porch where a small wooden table and two chairs had been placed. Setting everything down, you sighed as you lowered yourself into your seat. The yard was tidy, the bushes, like everything else, well-maintained and neatly trimmed. In the back, Ellie’s garage apartment stood on its own, detached from the house but painted to match, still encircled by the same fence- the perfect symbol of both teenage independence and a parental safety net. Though you had the suspicion that Joel likely would have preferred to have the girl stay in the house, you were glad that they had found a compromise that seemed to work. 

I wonder what Kyle would have wanted. 

The thought surprised you, slipping quietly in between the warm ones that being at Joel’s had kindled. You tensed up, immediately trying to banish the thought. Before you could, though, something else surprised you even more - you found that actually allowing the thought to occur was less painful than cutting it short. 

He’d probably want to stay with me. He was so protective. You felt yourself relax, shoulders going slack and lips twitching upwards. Unless he met someone and wanted privacy. You thought back to the way your nephew fell hard and fast for a girl whose mother you struck a deal with once - you offered the two of them shelter for a week during a particularly rough stretch of winter storms, they shared the sackful of canned and dried food that they had come across in their journey. Mila, that was her name. 

You had let Mila and her mother stay for longer than you originally planned because you couldn’t bear to be the one to rip Kyle away from the girl. She brought smiles out of him that you hadn’t seen on his face in far too long. Together they weren’t kids being forced to grow up too fast, being forced to live in a bleak world with no soft spaces. Together they got to be just kids with feelings and emotions and attraction. They just got to live, and you and the girl’s mother - you couldn’t remember her name and you realized that you’d blocked in on purpose to keep yourself from caring too much about anything but Kyle’s happiness - got to rest a little easier knowing that you’d given them that. 

He’d want the garage eventually, you decided. And that would be fine with me. You took a swig of your drink to clear the thickness in your throat just as Joel came out with the food. 

“Alright, we’re finally ready here,” he said with a slightly sheepish look, setting a tray of roasted chicken, potatoes and asparagus between the two plates you’d already brought out. 

“Wow.” You placed your glass down on the table and gestured to the meal in front of you. “Everything looks amazing.” 

You could tell that Joel tried to limit the spread of his smile at your praise as he sat across from you. “Well, I just hope it tastes alright.” 

“I’m sure it will,” you assured him, and you were right. Joel Miller, it turned out, was an excellent cook. 

He was also, once the ice had been broken by your first bites, a great host and a good conversationalist. Over the next hour or so, the two of you had talked easily. You learned that he and Tommy were from Texas but that he’d spent some time out East before making it to Jackson, and you’d told him where you were from. He shared that he played guitar and you told him you could only wish to be musically talented, but that you had always loved music. 

“You should come out to the bar one Friday night,” he suggested as he cleared the plates when you were both finished. “Every weekend someone else in town sings or plays. There’s dancin’. It’s usually a good time.” 

The concept of Joel dancing struck you like an arrow and you had to work hard to push it aside to respond, standing to help him carry things back inside. “Oh yeah? Do you ever play?” 

He laughed at that and you watched the back of his head as he shook it and walked into the house. “No ma’am.” You were glad to be out of his sightline for the way being called ma’am made you react. “I wouldn’t wanna put anyone through that.” 

“I’m sure you’re not that bad,” you countered. “You wouldn’t have said anything if you were truly terrible.”

That drew a huff of laughter from him as he placed the dishes in the sink. “I guess you got a point.” He stepped aside so you could do the same with the now-empty tray. “But still, I’m not really a performer.” 

“Fair,” you nodded, though you were suddenly swept away with the desire to hear him play. Pointing down at the sink, you changed the subject and offered to help clean up. “Can I do these?” 

“Absolutely not,” Joel stated, crossing his arms over his chest. “Leave those right where they are, I’ll get to ‘em later.” 

“Okay,” you held your hands up in front of you. “Just trying to help.” 

He uncrossed his arms then, pushing the sleeve up to show off the scar that you knew was there. “You already have, remember?” 

“Yeah, I re-” 

The back door swung open then, Ellie reappearing. “I didn’t miss dessert, did I?” 

You laughed as Joel groaned. “What’d you run back?” 

She shrugged. “Kinda. Dina said those jam bars were really fuckin’ good, so-” Joel shook his head and muttered something about her language under his breath, which only made you laugh again. “And she was also like super convinced that it was gonna rain and she’s always right about that and I didn’t want to get wet so-” As if on cue, the sound of raindrops falling filled the air, the girl gesturing dramatically towards the window. “See?”

Hmm. She did mention a jacket earlier. I guess she was right. Hope it stops before I have to leave. 

“Yeah, I see,” Joel answered. “You eat dinner?” 

“Yup.” 

“Good, ‘cause we didn’t save you anything.” Joel joked, the girl sticking her tongue out at him in return while you tried not to get too hung up on his use of the word we. Because you didn’t want to admit to yourself how much you liked the idea of we with Joel. 

Without being asked, Ellie started washing the dishes from dinner, the act suggesting that she was glad that the two of you had enjoyed yourselves without her. 

Licking your lips to wet them, you spoke up. “Can I at least get those out, then?” You pointed to the container that you’d brought where it sat on the counter, Joel nodding. “Dishes are…” You stepped in front of the cabinet that you’d seen him take plates from. “Here, right?”

“You got it,” Joel confirmed, and you tried not to think about how nice it was to feel so comfortable there. “I was gonna put on some music, since we can’t go back outside. That okay with you?” 

“Sure,” you responded, turning to see that he was already looking at you. “Sounds good to me.” 

He nodded, then turned to leave the kitchen, heading for the living room and the record collection that caught your eye earlier. You finished loading up a plate with the bars that you made just as Ellie was through with the dishes, the girl telling you to follow her into the dining room. You heard the opening notes of a song start to drown out the raindrops, and then Joel appeared in the room, taking a seat next to Ellie and across from you. 

“Well Dina was two for two tonight because those look fucking amazing.” Ellie reached for the plate before you’d even fully set it down. Grabbing one of the bars, she took a bite before chewing around her next words. “Oh, damn, they are good!” 

You let out a small laugh without even trying to hold it back. “I’m glad they pass the Ellie test.” You said it with a shrug, but it actually meant a lot to you to hear that the girl liked them. “They’re pretty easy, the key is using really good strawberries for the jam.” 

You trailed off as you made eye contact with Joel, surprised to find something that looked almost sad or nostalgic flashing across his expression. Shit, did I say something? 

Ellie hummed her satisfaction through another bite and nudged Joel with the tip of her elbow. “You know who strawberry jam always reminds me of? Bill & Frank. Remember? They had like… twenty jars of it in the pantry.” 

Joel cleared his throat and blinked whatever it was you thought you saw out of his eyes. “Yeah,” he said, giving Ellie a half-smile and reaching for one of the bars himself. “Yeah, they had a bunch.” 

She looked at you again, reaching for another bar as you took one, too. “That was the first time I ever had strawberry jam but I just had it on stale-ass crackers. These are-” She took another bite and rolled her eyes back. “So fucking good.” 

Without having to ask, you knew that Bill and Frank had meant something to Joel, and judging by the shadow that crossed his face when Ellie mentioned their names, you knew that they were gone. But Joel didn’t let the moment linger long enough for things to turn sad. Instead, he took a bite and gifted you with the sound of satisfaction in the form of a small groan that made your insides melt. Fuck. 

“Kid’s right,” he said. “She’s got a vulgar mouth, but she’s right.” 

“Get over it, old man.” Ellie rolled her eyes and tossed a crumb at him. “Curse words are just words. They’re not gonna bite you.” 

“Yours might,” he contested, and just like that the night was back on track, the three of you talking and joking as outside the sky darkened and the rain pattered on.  

When the plate of strawberry bars was nearly empty - you insisted that Joel and Ellie keep the last two, much to Ellie’s delight - she took it into the kitchen to put away and clean up. There was a break in the music as the automatic changer switched to a new record, but as soon as the needle dropped and the next song started, it hit you like a flash flood. All at once and with such a force that tears were welling in your eyes before you even felt them bubble up. 

“When you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears, it was easy to see you’d been cryin’...” 

Wordlessly, as the lyrics you were so familiar with that you often dreamed about them being sung into your ear started playing, you stood and headed for the door, suddenly needing to leave the room. 

“Hey, you okay?” You heard the sound of Joel’s chair legs scrape against the floor as he stood, and the concern that colored his tone. 

“Yeah,” you lied, swiping at your eyes without turning around, your voice betraying you with how uneven it was. “Just uh…” But you weren’t sure what you were going to say, and you weren’t sure where you were going, and this time it was you who turned around abruptly and caused a collision. “I’m sorry, I-”

But this time, instead of you crashing into Joel, you felt his hands on your arms, gently guiding you into his chest. “It’s okay,” he murmured softly, giving you permission to either continue the lie or tell the truth or say nothing at all and let yourself cry. You took the third option, letting him fold you closer, one of his palms sliding to your back. “It’s alright.” A shuddering breath filled your lungs and you let it out slowly, mumbling another apology. “Shh,” he soothed, running his hand up and down your shoulder blade. 

With one ear pressed to his chest, you could feel more than hear the steady beat of his heart. In the background, the song still played. 

“I could hold you in my arms. I could hold you forever.”  

“Is it the song?” Joel asked, still letting you take the time you needed. You nodded against his chest and felt him sigh. “I’m sorry. I saw you lookin’ at that album when you got here an’... Shit.” 

“When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions, my worried mind that you quiet.” 

“I can change it,” he offered. “Or I can turn it off, or-” 

“Please.” You whispered the single word but somehow he heard it. 

“Okay,” he squeezed your arm lightly before stepping away, his eyes flicking to yours. “Gimme a second.” 

You nodded as he hurried over to the living room, the next line coming through before he could get there. 

“Place your hands on my face, close my eyes and say that love is a poor man's food, don't prophesize.”

As the music stopped, Ellie came into the foyer, her eyes going wide as saucers as she took in you and your tears. Joel came back a half second later, and she swiveled to face him. “Joel, what the hell? What did-” 

“No, Ellie,” you swallowed, a deep rut forming between your eyebrows as you gave her a quick shake of your head. “It’s not… Nothing happened, it-” 

“Everything’s okay, kiddo,” Joel assured her, giving her a look that said they would talk later. “Can you give us a minute, please?”

The girl gave you another concerned look and you tried to give her a watery smile though you could feel yourself falling short. “Yeah,” she said finally. “Okay.” With one more glance over her shoulder as she left, the girl disappeared into the kitchen and then you heard her go out the back door. 

When she was gone, Joel stepped closer to you and spoke your name. Your tears had stopped like they started, ending as soon as the needle no longer contacted the vinyl, and you blinked at him. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “Do…” His brow wrinkled, his lips twitching into a quick frown. “Do you want to talk about-” 

You shook your head quickly. “No. No, thank you, I…” Closing your eyes, you blew out a breath and then brought both hands up to swipe away the remaining tears. “It’s… Maybe another time. I just think I should go. I, um… ” You shrugged, a nervous, embarrassed little huff escaping your lips. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to ruin the night, I-” 

“Hey, hey,” Joel waved his hand dismissively. “First of all, you didn’t ruin a damn thing, okay?” 

I beg to differ, but okay. You sniffed. 

“And second, you don’t have to go.” He used the hand he’d just waved to indicate the front windows. “Sounds like it’s still comin’ down pretty good out there. You can wait it out a little if you want.” 

Your eyes went from him to the window and back to his face, and even though there was a part of you that wanted nothing more than to rush back to the comfort of his arms, press your cheek to his chest and listen to him tell you it was alright, you shook your head. “Thank you for saying that, Joel, and… And thank you for everything tonight, I just… I think I need to go home. If you have an umbrella I can borrow that would be great, but if not,” you shrugged. “I’ll be okay.”

Joel just stood there for a second, watching you as you sputtered, a sympathetic frown on his face that made your heart ache with guilt that you’d given him reason to wear it. After a beat, he clicked his tongue and then moved towards the hooks on the wall, moving aside a long coat to pull an umbrella down. It was a big, golf-style one, the logo boasting Grand Teton Country Club, and as soon as you saw it you felt a surge of relief. At least I won’t get soaked. 

“Tell you what,” he said, undoing the clasp that kept the umbrella shut. “This thing’s big enough to cover two people. How about I walk you home?” 

Oh, Joel. 

“You really don’t have to do that, Joel.” You let out a stunted, nervous laugh, shaking your head. “I’ve walked a lot farther in much harder rain, and if you let me borrow that umbrella I’d be-” 

He cut you off with one hand on your forearm, thumb brushing over your skin as he spoke your name and waited for your eyes to snap to his. “You’re right. I don’t have to. And if it’s what you’d prefer? Of course I’ll lend you the umbrella.” Dropping his hand from your arm but still holding your gaze, he went on. “But if it’s alright with you, I’d like to walk you home.” 

Your heart slammed against your ribs as you looked into his eyes, as you felt how they held you just as securely as he had, and you realized that you only had it in you to deny him once, not twice. “Okay,” you said quietly. 

“Okay,” he confirmed. “Let me just get my boots on and then we can go.” 

Roughly fifteen minutes later you had arrived back at your apartment building, Joel holding the umbrella over both of you for the entire walk. It passed in comfortable silence, the rain hitting the nylon and your footsteps on the wet ground the only sounds until you were standing outside of your door. But as soon as you got there, both of you sought to break the silence at the same time. 

“Thank you again for everything, I’m sorry again for-” 

“Thank you for comin’ tonight, I’m really glad you-” 

And despite the somber way you’d left his house, both of you chuckled as you spoke over each other. You waited, letting him say what he wanted to first. 

“I’m glad you came over tonight,” he reiterated. “I hope you are, too.” 

You sighed. “Are you? Even though I…” You trailed off, gesturing at your face to indicate your sudden outburst of tears. 

“Hey, I meant it when I said it was alright.” He tilted his head. “I know this ain’t easy.” 

He didn’t specify what he meant by this, but you knew. This was readjusting to life. This was navigating the world now that you had time to remember, to feel, to mourn. This was everything that life in Jackson stood for. 

And he was right. It  wasn’t easy. But he was making it easier. 

“It’s not,” you agreed. “But I’ll get there.” 

At that, he smiled. It was a small one, but it changed his expression immensely. “You will.” He straightened his head and cleared his throat. “Listen, I, uh…” His free hand went to the back of his neck. “I’m leaving on Saturday, goin’ out with Tommy and a crew to do some repairs at a few of the trail houses that we use on runs and patrols. We’re gonna be gone for a while, but when we get back I’d like to… I mean, if you’re interested, I’d like to do this again.” You do? He dropped his arm to his side. “Maybe on a night when Ellie has patrol so we don’t have a chaperone.” 

You let out a small laugh. “Yeah,” you pressed your lips together and then smiled. “I’d like that.” 

His smile grew a little wider. “Good.” He nodded. “Alright, well, I’ll let you get inside.” 

You thanked him for walking you home and then you let yourself in, watching out the window until he disappeared around the corner. Well, I was right. It wasn’t a date. 

You sighed, locking the door behind you and slipping your wet shoes from your feet. 

But I think the next time will be different. 

.

.

.

Thank you for reading! If you would like to be added to or removed from the tags for this or any of my stories, please feel free to let me know! You can also fill out the form on my masterlist!

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[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hi Cal! I’m back, not with more emojis, because 120 pending requests? Damn that’s a lot! (Although I guess that’s what happens when you’re a super talented writer. So it’s kinda on you :p) I am here to wish you a huge congratulations on 100 fics on AO3!!!!! So many stories and they’re all bangers! It’s truly mind boggling so major props to you! I’ve been following your work since Batting a Buck and Change and have genuinely loved every story. I don’t know how you manage to write such creative and deep and funny and moving fics, time after time, without ever missing. But I’m very grateful that you do and that you share your work!

In honor of your achievement, I thought I’d ask you to highlight some of your stories! Obviously no pressure to do this if you don’t want to but I figured I’d give some categories and for each you could highlight a fic or two that you’re particularly proud of or had fun writing or feel is underrated or you just want to mention!

Here are my categories: character studies, magical fics, funny fics, angsty fics, kid fics, AUs

Really no pressure if you don’t want to do this, I just wanted to give you an opportunity to talk about your work. Either way, congratulations again! Here’s to many more beautiful stories!

Sending lots of love your way!

- PCA <3

Ohhh this is so lovely, PCA! Thank you so much!! I appreciate this so much.

Okay so, I'll do two in each category that I am particularly proud of. I'll try to avoid my biggest fics, as those are kind of self-evident, I guess?

Character studies:

A Lot Like You -

The dynamics between everyone change when Buck and Eddie have another child and Bobby moves on from the 118.

Affectionately referred to as the "Grandpa Bobby fic"

Me and Lazarus -

As Buck lays comatose after being struck by lightning, Maddie reflects on the life of the first brother she lost, how that impacted her life, and the ways grief has shaped them both.

Magical fics

Firelight -

When, in the worst of missing Christopher, Eddie suddenly finds himself having literally turned into a monster, Buck - who is also dealing with a newfound hearing loss diagnosis - is willing to do anything to protect him. Even from himself.

OR: Eddie is a creature from Swedish folklore, feat. HOH!Buck

i want your flowers like babies want god's love -

In Texas, after a setback with Chris and his parents, Eddie is forced to confront his inner child. Literally.

Funny fics:

til then be good and wait for me -

Eddie returns from El Paso and asks Buck on a date. In the interim between the asking and the date itself, Buck acts completely normally. Definitely. Just don't ask anyone.

... and then, because you mentioned it...

Batting a Buck & Change -

Eddie and Chim embark on a “Dad’s night out” to watch baseball at a sports bar, and after a few too many, Eddie accidentally lets his feelings for Buck slip.

Angsty fics:

slept on an acre of bones -

Right before his wedding to Buck, Eddie begins experiencing horrible, realistic dreams of a future he never wants to experience. Meanwhile, Buck is wrapped up in the mystery of a young woman who claims to know him, whose intentions are unclear.

Weary Memory -

After an argument about the circumstances of Bobby's sudden retirement, Buck and Bobby each find themselves inexplicably experiencing one of the other's difficult childhood memories.

Kid fics:

Upward Over the Mountain -

Early into their relationship, Eddie helps Buck through an unexpected and rocky journey to fatherhood. A journey that brings up more insecurities than Eddie predicted.

and here, too, am i -

Six months into their marriage, Eddie is still struggling to decide whether or not he wants more kids, when he knows Buck does. The universe may not scream, but it certainly talks.

AUs:

Long Death -

In the summer of 2024, a never before seen form of vampirism breaks out in Los Angeles. Just as Eddie is about to get his son back.

Six months later, Buck's life is permanently changed.

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? -

After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

OR:

The Fallout 4 AU that you don't need to have played Fallout to enjoy!

[mikaylathenerd5]

Taglist Update 🖤✨

hi loves. i’m doing a quiet refresh of my taglist to keep things intentional and close to the heart. i also want to make sure i’m not overwhelming anyone with notifications, especially if your interests have shifted or you’re no longer looking to be tagged in updates.

if you’ve been reading, reblogging, commenting, or otherwise engaging with the stories, thank you so much. your support truly means the world to me and never goes unnoticed.

some of you always show up in such thoughtful ways and while i imagine you’d like to stay on the taglist, i never want to assume. if you’d like to remain on the list, feel free to like this post, comment, or send a quick message. whatever feels best for you.

for those who haven’t been interacting for a while, you may be quietly removed. this is just to keep the list reflective of the current vibe and to make space for readers who are still connecting with the stories. absolutely no hard feelings at all. life gets busy and everyone connects with content differently.

if i’ve ever missed tagging you or misunderstood what you meant, please feel free to reach out again. sometimes i get a little confused on whether someone wants to be on the general taglist or just a specific series. it helps a lot to be clear when asking, especially since i’m on the spectrum and my brain processes things a little differently 😭😭😭

thank you for being here. sending love always 🤍

[thatgayunoriginalbastard]

"Then show me just how much you think about me." Peisistratus shot back, "I must have appeared in some of those fantasies of yours and that whole comment about knocking me up came a bit too easily to be coming from nothing. Are you sure you don't want to take a break to send a quick prayer up to Hera and ask her to allow us to have a family together?"

"Let's leave that for next time, perhaps. I don't want to have any pressures or expectations the first time I finally get to have you. And maybe I've thought about it before, but based on how easily you're rolling with it I think you're in the same boat."

"Most of my thoughts have involved you being the one carrying my child but...I'm amicable to the other way around. Now, I believe you're still not showing me that I'm the only one you want on that beautiful mind of yours."

"You're insatiable, Istra." Telemachus laughed.

"Only because I've never had you to fill me, Machus." Peisistratus said, managing to compose himself enough to smirk up at his love, soon to truly be his lover, "So please. Take me."

Thankfully for Peisistratus, Telemachus didn't need to be told twice --or rather three times-- before dropping back to his chest, biting and sucking at as much skin as he could, slowly going lower as he finally worked to remove Peisistratus' clothes. He only moved his head away when he reached his belly button, teasingly licking and making Peisistratus laugh, also making him lift his hips enough for Telemachus to pull the clothing past. Peisistratus lifted up his legs before he even realized what he was doing and as they came down it hit him that he was naked.

Naked. In bed. With his husband, his Telemachus, staring down at him like he was as beautiful as Adonis himself.

And yet the only thing that he could think about was about how Telemachus was yet to be in a similar state himself.

"I'm a fool for never realizing how absolutely stunning you are before now." Telemachus whispered as if he has just made some profound discovery.

"And yet you're depriving me of the same view." Peisistratus said, sounding far more desperate than he meant to which just made him rethink if he had been accurate with the role in bed he had always assumed he'd play if he got the chance to lay with the son of Odysseus.

Telemachus just rolled his eyes before finally letting the fabric that still covered him fall, discarding it off the bed like he had Peisistratus' clothing. Peisistratus could feel his face, neck, and ears heating up from the magnificent sight he got, eyes wide as he saw his husband's new form in a brand new light.

"You really are you father's son." Peisistratus commented without thinking as he stared at Telemachus' thighs.

"Please don't make me think of my father when I'm trying to have sex with you." Telemachus groaned with a laugh.

"Thanks for confirming that I shouldn't expect you to call me daddy at any time during this."

"I don't know what you're thinking assuming I'd ever say anything like that given your position." Telemachus said, rubbing Peisistratus' thighs.

"You're the one who has been doing so much of the touching. It's not like I can suck your dick from here."

"Please, I could easily suck your dick and still have more control than you could dream of."

"Then prove it, little wolf."

"Oh you're on, jellyfish."

"You're really sticking with that?"

"Yep. And I bet I could easily say it in a way that would make you moan."

"Maybe if you were balls deep inside me." Peisistratus scoffed jokingly.

"Don't give me too many challenges at once."

"Then you better focus on the first. Unless you're just stalling."

"You wish."

Peisistratus was about to shoot back with other comment but was left speechless as Telemachus moved a hand down to slowly stroke his dick as he lowered his face towards it.

Oh, they were actually doing this.

Okay okay okay. Wait. Wait wait wait. The Telestratus marriage of convenience thing. Omg that… that tickled something in my brain. Marriage of convenience to restrengthen trade for Ithaca after distrust spreads from the suitor slaughtering fiasco or something along those lines maybe, they were friends before from Tele’s travels back before Odysseus returned so the two of them figure “why the hell not he’s a cool guy and it’s not like I have anyone else” cue years of playing it up like they’re OdyPen levels of in love to make it look good and then suddenly realizing “oh… OH… oh NO…” now NEITHER of them are acting but BOTH of them think the other still is and they both joke about it behind closed doors but they’re really NOT joking because they’re down so bad ahhhhhhhh I LOVE this!!

@theshroud-thechallenge-thearrow (dang side blog curse)

Odysseus: Hey so I know you're friends with Nestor's kid Peisistratus. Do you think you could like, I don't know, try dating one of his sisters? Getting a connection between Ithaca and Pylos would be helpful for both of us. Only if you want to, of course. And if you end up falling in love with someone else we can work something out.

Telemachus: ...or I could just get with Peisistratus himself? You know, since he and I are friends then that'll make things easier. We'll get married platonically, help both of our kingdoms, and then when we find people we actually love we'll just have them as "lovers" on the side. That'll take care of the whole heirs thing too.

Odysseus: Yeah, sure, that works.

~A while later~

*"chilling" in their shared bedroom post-marriage*

Telemachus, internally: oh shit oh fuck of shit I actually fell in love with him oh gods this can't be happening I'm the one who told him this idea he thinks that he has such an easy out with this with the whole lovers thing so it's not like I can tell him that I'm actually in love with him...

Peisistratus, internally: oh no I actually fell in love with him oh dear gods he created this plan as just a practical thing he's literally a student of Athena I can't fuck this up by actually falling in love with him I was his first real friend I can't ruin our friendship and what was supposed to be an amicable way to help our kingdoms without any attachment

~Meanwhile~

Odysseus: Man, our son sure is able to sell being in love really well

Penelope: He sure is.

Odysseus: ...

Penelope: ...

Odysseus: So they absolutely caught feelings, right?

Penelope: Obviously.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

So I was scrolling along and accidentally clicked on a tag of some post. But it opened with this as the banner and I thought it was perfect. 🧡

SUCK IS DICK SUNDAY

[luminique]

HEAR ME OUT, one sided love?? Imagine s/o doesn’t like lighter back, being oblivious about lighters feeling and only see lighter as a friend meanwhile lighter is so MADLY in love with them and is aware of s/o not liking him back but he can’t help it because you’re the only one that makes him feel this way even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated… they’re so doomed think about the potential angst!! 🫤

lighter isn’t perfect. his body is littered in scars of his past, his actions are solutions to mistakes he had made before. to say that he deserved something as rewarding as love didn’t sound right to him, but oh, would it feel right if it was from you.

it was definitely not an immediate fall, rather it was slower like starting a fire. you bring the materials you require, some wood and a starter. it’s difficult to get a fire going, even he knows that with his lighter in hand. his hand gets warmer the longer the flame is out but it doesn’t compare to the accidental grazes of your hand against his gloved ones.

he had poked you once with the spikes on his gloves. the look on your face when you brought your hand up to rub it while you apologized for it. why were you apologizing? every soft “sorry” that came out of your mouth was like sprinkling water onto the fire. best to get fresh firewood so that it doesn’t go out.

ensuring that the fire is a consistent flame is also important to prevent accidents. accidents like playfully taking off his sunglasses and putting it on yourself while imitating him. somehow, that didn’t cause the fire to go out, in fact, it made it burn even brighter than before. the redness on his face when he watched you was comparable to the orange and red hues of a fire.

he stayed close to the fire, close to you. feeling the warmth of love on his skin, finding it calming but also terrifying. it doesn’t rain often in the outer ring but that doesn’t stop him from worrying that it would all of a sudden. so he lies awake at night, thinking about all of the possibilities, the what ifs and its outcomes.

he thought he had considered everything. from keeping the fire from going out, to ensuring it was a stable flame, to tending it slowly and carefully. what he didn’t consider was getting too close to the fire, burning through what he thought was tough skin.

he was too focused on trying to maintain a certain personality, not quite showing his interest in you. so when caesar was talking to you about her love stories while everyone was hanging around the bar, his heart rate increased. just like how consuming alcohol affects one’s mental and physical state, so does it affect a fire. maybe someone poured his drink into the flames as he watched it burn even brighter than before, making him eavesdrop on your conversation.

but a large flame meant a higher possibility of getting burnt, and soon he saw the burn marks on his skin. as you continued to talk with caesar, the longer he let the fire burn him. how you had said that real love wasn’t like the stories, how you seemed disinterested in romance, how you had believed that no one was interested in you. at that moment, he ended up getting more drinks from burnice, hoping it would soothe the roaring flames within him. he drank so much and fell asleep to the soft crackling of the fire, your voice acting as background noise.

he woke up to the coldness of the bar counter pressing on his cheek. the fire had been put out by you when you tapped on his shoulder. the memories of last night flooding into his mind like water. maybe it was all some nightmare and you did like him back, but the sudden coolness of your touch made him realize the reality of it all.

you didn’t like him, and not because he did anything wrong but because he didn’t do anything in your eyes. you were feeding the fire in his heart and he mistook that fire for your heart too. he sat up straight, took one look at you and shook his head. you still cared for him, came with water and woke him up gently. he never intended to get so severely injured because of his own growing feelings for you.

his own feelings, you didn’t even know he had any for you. the pile of ashes, you both stared at it and yet only he knew that fire existed. the flames had misled him, danced around his heart that craved for you, that only asked for you as its fuel. now all he can do was sit next to what was once a big fire, feeling the cold on his skin despite the layers. no warmth left, no light left, no love left.

[saetiate]

hellooooo, Cora!! I hope you've been well! I hear you're in a bit of a Xavier phase right now C:< do you have any Xavier thoughts you'd like to talk about?

wahh hallo friend thank you for dropping by <3 i am sending you so much love i hope you have a wonderful may <3

i am thinkinggg of university au w xavier actually!!! i think he is the kind of guy that falls asleep in lecture and looks like he has never studied in his life and somehow aces every test. and reader/you're like ah, he's that kind of person.

in my mind reader is smart and brilliant and hardworking and there's an answer box where you're meant to submit questions you're curious about. from there you get put in a group project with him and some others, with a note that you've been put together with him because the prof is very excited to see what happens when he puts two of his best students together! it turns out that you both had similar ideas and questions, something insightful and thought-provoking

and reader... well, you expect to do all the work, really. it's a long term project and most people have a tendency to procrastinate on something like that, so you start some of the tasks that you can before bed and when you wake up --

when you wake up, there's a good amount of it completed. what?

you're checking, and then double checking again, and the parts that you were going to do are just done. it turns out not only did xavier really do his part, he even delegated the tasks to some others.

it's essentially about reader learning that like. they made the wrong assumptions about other people. and also that people do want to help them in this project but they don't know how to start or what to do because reader just kinda Does It. and xavier gets to kind of be the gentle in between for that and gets reader to realize it.

sorry that this summary was kind of written without the intention to be particularly eye catching the way i try to make my fics from the beginning but these are my thoughts :> no pressure to respond okay love you!

[snapbackslide]

heino... the time we had was short but memorable, and i am so glad you got to be a hab.

thank you for giving me a fun little enemies-to-lovers story arc, for filling the lehkonen-shaped hole in my heart and on my team, for solidifying our fourth line and the rest of the team. you brought so much, and though most have overlooked it and will forget, i won't.

first playoff goal, last goal of the season, last goal as a hab. rookie year at 23, 10 goals, highs and lows. thank you for your time with both the rocket and the habs. i'm gonna miss you so much ❤️💔

[louroth]

Hello hello everybody! It is time for another months progress, and I am so excited to share with you, all the things I have gotten my grimy little gremlin hands on. First off, what we are all here for; writing. I have been on fire, to be honest! Last month I churned through the last of the first batch of erotica stories (there's 6 (!!!) of them on my patreon already) and set them up for publishing along with two more unseen ones- I'm still going over the logistics of where to publish for the best revenue (I know this sounds boring, but I have to make an income somehow, and hopefully find another audience as a smut writer on other platforms 💀 I love writing it so why not!), and I am making headway, learning the ins and outs of self publishing. On patreon, there are also two Q&A's that are written in a bit more fictional manner, in character: a more fun way than just writing answers straight up and down. I have enjoyed those so much! There's a bunch of other stuff I haven't even mentioned- honestly, I have to say, I'm really proud of my output on Patreon even though I have been really anxious about writing full time. It's going great! I have to thank my new friends and support-network on discord; you make this all worth it. I cannot express how fun it is to shoot the shit with you in vc, gaming together, or seeing your shenanigans in gen or your in depth theories (thanks for the brainworms!) or memes or staring longingly at the fanfic channel or drooling over your art (ouro related or not) or... Gah. You are just amazing people, and I will waste no opportunity in saying so. Thank you forever and ever and ever an-

When it comes to OUROBOROS, I am happy to announce that the next chapter is damn near done! I was halted because of the discovery that dashingdon is no longer supported by it's creator, and have been working on the twine version ever since, earlier than I expected- it's tough work, but I am so excited to make this an actual game made entirely by myself, and not submitting to a company that quite frankly leaves a bitter aftertaste. It is taking long to make because I want to make it mobile compatible from the start, which there isn't a lot of resources for. But I'm doing my best! The plan is that I will be posting the next chapter for Patreons in the coming month, and then treat you to a full twine release here on tumblr. I haven't made any rewrites when porting the twine build, but I would like to do that too... so we will see; this plan is not set in stone. I will just have to see how it evolves over the next month. Yes, beta-readers is still on the schedule, just holding off a little while while I wrap my head around this new coding landscape.

Other than that, I have been working on the set aesthetic for ouro, which has been really hard, a lot harder than I expected. You all know I am no wizard when it comes to graphic design, but I want to at least develop a set palette and imagery and portraits that is cohesive to the story. The work is ongoing, and I don't have much to say about it- even though it is taking a lot of my brain power. I'm hoping I can come to some kind of set and in depth conclusion that I am happy with before the twine release, because I want the game to feel like a treat to open up and play; a world to get lost in.

That's it! If you want to see weekly and more in depth dev-logs, you know where to go. I hope you have an amazing day or night, and we will see each other soon. xx

[stormyoceans]

Monica...

MONICA, LOOK AT THIS

https://x.com/plapodd/status/1924402110793498719?t=zZPu0tVIkh5o9cS-1nXIgg&s=19

TURNING INTO A WOLF AND RUNNING INTO THE WOODS TO GO HOWL AT THE MOON FOAMING AT THE MOUTH FOR A FORTNIGHT. THIS PHOTOSHOOT IS TRULY THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING AND IT WAS ALSO MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR ME PERSONALLY AS A PERSON AND AS AN ITALIAN. SOMEONE BRING ME MY SMELLING SALT I FEEL FEVERISH AND FAINT AND IN DESPERATE NEED OF A SEASIDE VACATION TO RECALIBRATE MY HUMORS

genuinely so obsessed with the energies being put on display here. why does it look like pod is trying to lure papang into taking a bite from the pizza hanging from his mouth and giving the messiest rendition of the lady and the tramp spaghetti scene like POD PLEASE THAT’S THE WRONG ITALIAN DISH ✋😭

the way part of me still can’t believe that they're playing an actual romantic pairing i can see on my screen on a weekly basis and serving such incomprehensible impeccable effervescent levels of chemistry on top of it. not even in my wildest dreams i could have ever imagined it would be this good. im not even kidding when i say i need everyone in this fandom to join hands and start praying and hoping and manifesting with me for these two to get a series as main leads next year like i don’t care about what people feel about fixed pairings I NEED EVERYBODY TO FOCUS AND COOPERATE HERE

I HAVE A VISION BOARD AND I WILL SELF ACTUALIZE IT INTO BEING IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO

[writingjourney]

Ibi I need you to know that I think about Copia specifically picking out a shady spot to have a picnic in because he would never forgive himself if his darling got sunburn in A Message From The Bulletin Board every goddamn day it is one of my favorite moments of internal dialogue and detail in any piece of writing ever 💞

when i tell you this made me cry today ughghghgh 😭

i am so happy this fic still resonates with you, i haven't had it in my notes in a while and i actually went to check and it's fucking two years old soon. idk how it's been that long 🥲

[heymrspatel]

okay for your entertainment, chani and i were brainstorming earlier and here's a scenario we crafted: AU where mickey is a florist, across the street from his little flower shop a craft brewery moves in and opens up a bar and restaurant. ian is a bartender who gets a job at the new bar. one day before opening, his employers send him out to buy some fresh flowers for the tables in the restaurant. ian naturally wanders into the little shop right across the street and meets mickey for the first time. mickey is intrigued by the sweet friendly redheaded bartender so he starts going over to get a beer at the bar after he closes up shop every evening. ian is enamored with the rough-around-the-edges dark-haired florist, so he volunteers every chance he gets to go buy fresh flowers for the restaurant tables for the excuse to keep going into mickeys shop.

uuhhhmm...yeah and then eventually they bang. ✨🌸🍺✨

deanna deanna deannaaaa! i love this so fucking much! i also love the little twist of mickey being the florist and ian being the bartender! i feel like typically you'd see them the other way around. but mickey? arranging little bouquets and cutting flower stems?! yes please!

imagine ian going over to get flowers and mickey telling him that his favorite flowers are currently in bloom? "those blue ones over there, they're gorgeous." ian being immediately smitten by this rough tattooed guy showing him lilies. and ian's never given any thought to what his favorite flowers may be, but he can't deny that they're beautiful. blue. bright. breathtaking. like mickey's eyes. he ends up buying a bunch of them, completely going over budget, and bringing them into the bar. thinking on the way that they might look out of place until he sets them down. seeing, realizing, that they fit right in.

mickey coming in every night and pausing a bit by the door. just looking at the bartender expertly mixing and pouring drinks. smiling that megawatt smile at his customers. and, yea, of course they're fawning over him. those arms flexing as he pumps the shaker and bops his head to the music. goddamn! he strides over and hops on a stool down the bar, near the end, next to a vase of lilies. ian catching a glimpse and that smile he's been sporting grows wider. reaching his eyes in a way that's intoxicating. how can mickey possibly look away? so, he gives him a little nod, his face reflecting a matching grin. goofy and smitten.

ian finishing serving his customer and giving the bar a little rap. a *tap tap* with his knuckles. his coworker looking over and shooting an endeared eyeroll in his direction. they switch places. ian immediately going to station himself near mickey. pouring a beer along the way - he knows what mickey likes now. strolling, handing it over with a wink and a twinkle in his eyes.

they stand there for a few beats, not saying a word. unable to look away from each other. and then:

"the flowers look good, man."

"yea, they do. they brighten up the place."

not once looking away. and they both feel it. the pull. the magnetism.

yea.

this is the start. this is it.

their wedding will be full of lilies.

[unsurebazookacore]

my mom very awkwardly coming into my room and handing me my freshly folded laundry telling me "you should be happy in life" 30 minutes after i finished a full mental breakdown in front of her because she said she's not paying for college unless I get into a top 30 university