#so those are some hella skewed voices

[crosbyism]

Yeah one of my issues regarding who is feminized in hrpf has a lot to do with trends. Like nothing wrong with feminizing the more physically slender, smaller guys on its own, but I do definitely notice how the lion's share of feminization (and transmasc fics 🤔🤔🤔) are exclusively about skinny, hairless twinks (because of their natural unchangeable biological features which are often considered to correlate to gender expression :/). I rejoice when I find the rare content that feminizes the larger, harrier men (esp as a larger, harrier, often feminine guy) cause it's so rare, especially in comparison. That's one of my side eyes towards the fandom overall about it, that it comes down to biological differences influencing the ratios and trends rather than anything wrong with specifically writing about mitch marner or jack hughes as a pillow princess bottom or whatever. Have some imagination! The possibilities are endless!

friend we are vibing on the same wavelengths. u get it so hard. this definitely articulates it so well, especially this: “…because of their natural unchangeable biological features which are often considered to correlate to gender expression” like yeah. you’re so right, and this put the finger on exactly what bothers me about it too. i wonder if people who aren’t naturally hairy don’t realise how independent it is of enjoying feminisation or feminine expression? i mean, my irl experience even skews towards: the bigger and hairier, the likelier it is a person will enjoy a little bit of femininity. rather than the fandom trend of: less hairy = more fem.

i keep thinking about this fantastically charismatic drag performer where i live, who is a fully bearded bear out of drag. but the way she moves when she’s performing; i mean aside from just being one of the most captivating performers i’ve ever seen there is simply no question that she is performing as her onstage, you know? one of the most feminine and elegant people i’ve ever seen in my life, bearded bear stature or no. and there’s so much joy in that kind of queer expression, y’know? the lacy stocking on a thick hairy thigh. there’s so much potential for it in fic, too. i miss it in fandom sometimes, i wish there was more of it.

there’s also the very pertinent aspect of, as you put it so succinctly, this issue in transmasc fics 🤔🤔🤔 (sorry but the emojis are SO ON POINT, saw them and went: CORRECT). it’s all fun and games only feminising the twinks as cis dudes, but there’s a hella lotta yikes and straight up transphobia involved once only those guys get assigned trans. i’ve seen a lot of fetishisation in a “fem boypussy”, “treat him like a teenage girl, violent misogyny included” kinda way. gives me hives, makes me feel queasy.

of course, individually these are just singular people writing what they wanna write. once again, fandom trends are just an aggregation of individual preferences within a fandom. but it’s really noticeable how skewed the trend is in terms of who gets feminised and how they get feminised. i have never in my life seen a fic where, for example, trans leon draisaitl gets violently dubcon’d and treated like a female sex object in a misogynistic hentai porn way. mitch marner, on the other hand…….. well, there’s dozens. and it’s worth noting that.

[bernie sanders meme voice] i am once again asking for varied and creative gender play in hrpf

[luisleyyaoi]

Thoughts on season 2 of mp100

Ok wow yeah this show slaps I fucking love it

I thought it was gonna be a silly comedy based on the mangas artstyle and fandoms attitude but boy was I wrong, the characters and story are surprisingly complex and interesting for two thirteen episode seasons

I’m sure this has been said a million times but wow the animation is gorgeous, everything is so expressive and I can’t get enough of it

I actually don’t think I could pick a number one favorite character because I love all of them but mob reigen and teru are my top three, they’re all really interesting and Im excited to see more of them :D

Ok so I didn’t make this it’s own post but like shou was totally flirting with ritsu right?? Like maybe me being aro has my whole flirting detection skewed but I can’t be the only one that thought that, those two are hella gay either way

on the topic of shipping yeah I see why teru x mob is popular but honestly, as of now I don’t think I ship it they just seem like besties to me but season 3 could change that

Ok time for me to compliment the hell outta some voice actors. Every singe person in the english dub was cast perfectly but my favorites were reigen mob and teru, to no ones surprise. Those three killed it and I’m gonna be on the look out for them in everything I watch from now on because they were that good

[folerdetdufoler]

if julie were to post like a hint to it coming back or any of the characters accounts were to post again i think i’d actually pass out. it’d be cool to see the fandom be revived again because it’s real dead. if they were to bring it back what do you think they would make it about that hasn’t already been covered?

LITERALLY the tiniest movement would kill me. what if eskild unlocked his account. what if sana uploaded a profile pic. what if even started an instagram, and isak posted it on his story with another motherfucking “here u go.” DEAD i tell you. DEAD. deader than the fandom.

anyway, while it is absolutely heavenly dreaming up new stories, i actually don’t know if i could answer the question! i don’t know what norwegian youth need to connect with right now. i don’t know how they need to be seen. and what has skam already covered but still needs to be covered? five years ago they referenced the pulse nightclub shooting, and then experienced a similar tragedy during their own pride celebrations just last month. jonas’s essay on capitalism has only been proven true a thousand times over, as young people are growing up in a system that sacrifices them & the planet for record profits. i also hesitate to ask for something that might already have been done by the 16-19 series, like a more multi-cultural view of norwegian youth, picking up what was lacking in sana’s season. or more of ella’s lack of direction as she tries to figure out what she wants to do/learn/be/experience after high school.

ugh i think i’m thinking too hard about this absolute fantasy. we probably need to see gen z’s relationship with social media and influencer culture, the way it’s shaping their decisions. maybe what it’s like to be a content creator? selling your daily life in exchange for an audience? what is the disconnect between real life and what people build on the internet, and also what are the direct, physical effects of living online? instead of shame, call it fame. go even harder with the social media element and rub the format in our faces. we simply could not unplug from eva and noora and isak and sana’s lives, and now look where we are. i’d say skam could hold up a mirror for us, but it’s really about us turning on our front-facing camera.

[feastfic]

i'm trying to find a way to make this a hella funny ask but like i literally did just wake up and see that you drew batman even more sexy then normal and it MADE ME FEEL THINGS so just yknow. could you spare some crumbs

Teehee yeah I got a few crumbs for you :)

• Batman is the oldest brother of four — Creep is his youngest brother by around 700,000 years or so. (So a pretty big age gap!)

• He's a tough love kind of guy, but his heart's in the right spot and always has been at least for his brethren. He pushes them around, but he means well.

• However he's very hardheaded and difficult to persuade if it doesn't align with his morals. He was the last to retire being a chaos god (and that doesn't even happen until thousands of years in the future if we're talking present time.) They've all done it for so long, why should he stop? He's very devoted to his role as the chaotic god of Devotion, after all.

• If Creep's role is the Fun god, and skewed it into chaos by playing a murder game with Exetior, then Batman dictates his role as Devotion through simply doing his worst at every opportunity. There's a passion to his sport that's uncontested, and he has the most blood on his hands for a reason because of it.

• His presence demands respect at the very least, and fear and obedience. If he's in the same room as you, expect to feel the tension in the air. His power is tangible.

• Unlike his brethren, he has no eyelights, nor as many of the voidlike tendrils. He's calmed them and eradicated them from his body, so all you see looking into his face is nothing but a cold and unforgiving void.

• Fitting to his height (7'2) he has a Very deep voice. One that rumbles your chest if you're close to him.

• All of his body is the same shade of blue, the black is just shadows. They present themselves in a dynamic manner (think All Might from MHA. That kind of deal.)

• He's incredibly blunt about everything, and has a tendency to word things poorly. Even so, if you squint you'll normally be able to tell what he means, or why he intends to do something. Normally it's not anything bad, it's just misguided.

• Physically, he's the strongest out of his siblings. He can clear entire planets of life with his hands alone. (In terms of things like recreation and mind games however, those go to others.)

• Again like his brothers too, he's a hermaphrodite, sexually speaking. They're all genderless, too.

• Batman has a very hard time understanding Creep's change specifically. Wearing a mask was originally seen by Batman as a sign of rebellion, an act of hatred; a lot of things he saw Creep doing as a means to alienate himself from the others. Clones were meant to be used for work, not creating a family. Things like that.

• He's unfamiliar to the concept of romance, or the desire to remain close to anyone for extended periods of time. Or at least, time works so differently for him that years fly by like mere minutes to him.

[jlf23tumble]

If it's okay, how was Louis' concert ? Did it exceed your expectations or?

Hello, and of course it's okay! I'll give you my rando thoughts below, and it exceeded my expectations ONLY because I heard that a lot of the crowd vibes in the early part of the tour were quote rancid, and yeah, having lurked, HARD AGREE, but I saw the final show, didn't have on my best clothes, and thought it was pretty damned great! Rando thoughts under the cut:

Sunday night capped off a rollercoaster birthday weekend in the best kind of way, so it's gonna be aimh for that reason ALONE.

I went with my best friend, who is always endlessly amused/confused by my descriptions of fandom dynamics on EVERY FUCKING LEVEL (she knows Louis from when I made her watch XFUK and from every 1D song video ever and from this album, period)...I could give you her reactions to things, but those are hot real takes you need a galaxy brain to handle and say, yes, yeah, uh huh, EX-FUCKING_ACTLY.

He did his T pose/Christ pose, like, seriously a LOT, so much, a real staple!

He sounded so fucking GOOD, and we were especially thrilled when he sang our faves (my friend: We Made It, me: Always You, both of us: Copy of a Copy....).

I am 100% convinced he can't read signs past the second (first???) row--he sees someone with a sign, points, gives a smile and a thumbs up, perfect amounts of crowd service, A+, king.

ZERO BANTER, which was a shame, just the usual "sing it!" "[redacted voice] I'm only here because of you, we couldn't do this without you, thank you, etc." "the crew is amazing [paraphrasing]"

I truly HATED the fact that the monitors weren't synched with him, that just reeks amateur hour, and I blame it on the venue--maybe other venues had it working??? But come on, this is LA.

Speaking of, it's definitely just me, but this venue gave me so many Orange Country vibes that whenever he mentioned "Los ANGELES!", I was like, please, my god, don't gas up the OC this way, we are in Anaheim, for chrissakes, until I realized, hey wait, we're five minutes from the Forum and LAX, he's right!! This venue is cursed!

The crowd was an interesting yet fairly specifically skewed mix of ages and outfits (granted, I only had drinks in one section, for like 20 minutes, but I think I saw only a handful of Harry- or 1D-related stuff). Lots of Louis 2012 cosplay (red pants, striped shirts), but that's it beyond "lookin' to pull" gear,...whither the track suits!! I think Harry makes it way easier, you dead-ass have to own some of these rare vintage Louis shirts vs. finding a green boa at Michael's or wherever.

His aesthetics are so muted, considering this is still a big show, but I also think it's related to his current public image, so I get it. It's interesting, though, how stripped down it is...and I wonder how deliberate that is. And I think it's hella deliberate, fwiw.

ETA: I REMEMBERED!! The venue had one (1) merch booth, and it was outside, and it was fucking FREEZING. Why not bring it in or have more options??? Bad call.

...I have other thoughts, but they're escaping me, and I have to chat with a friend in a sec, so enjoy this venue picture, we had killer seats!!!

[waywardodysseys]

Resigned to Fate - Chapter Nine

Warnings: violence, blood, cussing

Word count: 3.8+k

Author’s note: never written for the Star Wars universe before but with The Mandalorian figured why not; Darksaber plays a role in this story so I apologize now for the ending; final chapter; thank you for reading!

Resigned to Fate Masterlist

You are in the middle of a lesson with the foundlings when Kath runs into the room. You stop and look at her, so do the foundlings. You begin to frown as Kath stands there catching her breath.

“Kath?” Your voice slightly higher than usual.

“Ramee,” Kath gasps for air. “Ramee is here.”

You look down at the foundlings. “Stay here children.”

They all nod as you walk out of the room and into the main area of the bunker. Standing in cuffs in a circle of full armored Mandalorians is your father. He smirks as he sees you, “Y/N. Daughter. I’ve come to see you! And I have come in peace!”

You raise your eyebrows. “How did you even find me?

Ramee shrugs. “Your mind was open when you were wounded on Sundari. I was able to see Endor but nothing else. I came alone.”

“What do you want?” You hiss.

“Forgiveness.”

You turn on your heel.

“It’s about Mando. Your Mando!”

You stop and turn back around, facing him. “Go on.” You stammer out as your heart begins pounding inside of your chest.

“Gideon has him and his crew cornered on Nevarro. They are trapped! Gideon knows who the others are. Greef Karga, Cara Dune. They killed another, an Ugnaught Kuiil.”

“The asset Gideon seeks?”

“Alive, and with Dune, Karga, and Mando.”

You had promised Mando you would stay behind. You would be here when he returned alive, when he returned with the green bean. “How long has Gideon given them?”

“Till nightfall. I used the hyperdrive of my ship to get here as soon as I can.” Ramee spits out.

“And how do I know this isn’t some trap?!”

“I saved you from dying daughter! I didn’t kill your Mando because you deserve happiness, you deserve peace. You deserve love. He told me to leave once he found you in Sundari, and I did.”

“And once Gideon is dead, what then?” You ask.

“Then he’s dead. I will leave you alone, leave Endor alone.” Ramee steps out of the circle towards you. “I was surprised you weren’t with him. I figured he asked you to stay behind because of your injury then I wondered if you had told him…”

“Told him what?” Your mind thinks back to the temple. “Oh my gods! I am not pregnant!”

“You sure about that?” Your father asks simply.

You remembered your father could sense you the night he took you away from your adoptive mother. He had a keen ability to sniff out other Force sensitives. You place your hands on your stomach. There was no way, no fucking way, you were pregnant!

“How much time has passed since you left?” You ground out.

Ramee shrugs. “Maybe an hour or two.”

Silence stretches wide.

Kath approaches you from behind, “you should go.”

“He told me to stay.” You whisper trying to keep your emotions in.

Kath pulls on your arm, turning you around to face her. “Go to Nevarro. Recuse Mando, the kid, his team. Come home.”

You look at the ground then back at her, “what if he’s right? What if I’m pregnant?”

Kath’s voice has a smile as she answers, “then we will find out when you return. The child will have you for a mother, a Mandalorian as his father, me for its aunt, and an enclave for its family.”

She leads you over to the weapons cache, then opens a door next to it. Inside is a fully made beskar metal Mandalorian armored outfit. Kath reaches in and grabs the chest plate. “This will protect you, and the child, if there is one.”

“You’ve been hiding this the whole time?” You ask as she places it over your head.

“Yes. We’ve also been adding to it from time to time.” Kath replies.

The chest plate fits you perfectly – not too tight, not too loose. You wondered if they were making it for you because you know some of the enclave had been calling you Mand’alor since they had arrived.

Kath then snaps into place the long black cape. “Missing one thing.” Kath says as she steps to the weapons cache and opens it. She reaches in and holds out her hand.

You look down at your lightsaber. The one you had been gifted from Ramee when you turned into a young woman at the age of 13, it was the one you had given to Kath to hide away because you didn’t want to use it anymore. “You kept it?”

“Yes. You told me to get rid of it but one day, I knew, one day I knew you’d need it. It’s proof there’s good inside of you, proof you can wield your power for the better.” Kath voices smiles.

You grab the saber and hook it onto your belt.

“You look magnificent Deathblade.” Kath states as she looks you over.

You smile, then turn to face Ramee. “Let’s go.”

Ramee smiles and bows. “Of course.” He then reaches out with his arms. “What about the cuffs?”

“They stay on. For now.”

-------

You set down a Y-wing Starfighter on the outskirts of the city on Nevarro. The visor raises and you turn back towards Ramee, who holds out his hands. You sigh as you unlock the cuffs.

“Your plan?” You ask Ramee.

“To get to Gideon. He does have an E-Web, and a flametrooper.” Ramee says as he hops down. He helps you down as well. “I will stall so you are able to get to them.”

“What if you die?” You ask. Your voice is full of concern.

Ramee smiles and caresses your cheek. “I will die knowing I’ve helped you. I will die knowing I tried to be a father in my last moments like I should have been when you were growing up.”

You had to say the words for his benefit. It could be the last time. “I forgive you. Father.”

Ramee strokes your cheek then lowers his hand. “And I love you. Daughter.”

You turn and watch him leave, walking towards the city.

-------

Mando, Greef, and Cara, along with an IG-11 and the kid are inside the blaster riddled tavern. Trapped and on edge. They needed help; they needed a miracle.

“What now?” Cara half shouts. “No fucking way I am going out there just to be hauled off to a Mind Flayer!”

“Those things aren’t real. They invented them to be wartime propaganda.” Greef says before taking a shot of spotchka.

“They’re real!” Cara exclaims. “I’ve heard enough stories to know they are real.”

“Will you two calm down?” Mando barks, trying to catch his breath. He felt like he could die any second. His mind wondered to you. At least you were safe back on Endor.

The kid coos loudly at his feet as he touches Mando’s boot. He’s looking at Mando with his wide ears and big black eyes.

“I know kid. I probably should have brought her along.” Mando hisses through the pain. In the end, Mando thinks, she should be here. He wants you here, he needs you here. His heart aches to see you one last time.

“Her?” Greef and Cara ask at the same time.

“Wait, did you just understand that thing?” Greef asks.

Mando shakes his head. “No but I feel the kid is asking where our protector is.”

“Mando. Who are you talking about?” Cara asks. She looks at the IG-11, “is he losing it?”

“No. He is fine.” IG-11 responds.

“I was on Endor for a few months with someone I hired to protect us, protect me and the kid.” Mando pauses then continues, “she was a former assassin for the Empire.”

“Who?” Cara asks.

“Lots of those.” Greef remarks at the same time.

“Her name was—”

“Deathblade,” Greef finishes for him as he looks out the oblong window of where they’ve taken refuge. “She’s…she’s supposed to be dead.”

“What?” Cara asks as she gets up and walks towards Greef. “Fucking Deathblade!” Cara turns and looks at Mando, “you hired fucking Deathblade?!”

Mando sighs, “yes.”

“She died on Jakku. Well obviously, she didn’t die on Jakku…” Cara mumbles. “She looks hella badass Mando.”

The kid coos loudly and waddles his way over to the door.

“Kid!” Mando states. “Kid! No!”

Mando struggles to stand but is unable to. He watches the kid exit the tavern and into the courtyard.

The kid walks out into the courtyard of the city. Eyeing you in your beskar metal chest plate and black cape. He watches Gideon walk toward you.

“I see you survived.” Gideon remarks.

“You have no one left except your shadow troopers Gideon. You should leave.” You state.

Gideon looks you over then sees the asset. “I want him Deathblade! You are more than welcome to join us.”

You move and stand in front of the child. “You will never have him.”

Gideon turns and faces the shadow troopers. “Kill her and bring the asset to me.” Gideon walks away towards his TIE fighter leaving you alone in the courtyard with the shadow troopers and the kid.

You glance down behind you, “you should’ve stayed hidden.”

The child looks up at you and coos.

“I can handle them,” you nod towards the troopers. You then point towards the open door, “you help them.”

The child frowns at you as he touches your leg.

“We’ll make it,” you whisper. “I promise.”

The child removes his hand and walks back towards the door.

You watch as a couple troopers step forward, but you raise your hand towards them. They stop walking when they hit an invisible wall. You begin clenching your hand and watch them begin to gasp for air.

Another set of troopers begins walking to you and you hold up your other hand, stopping them with another invisible wall. You hear the blaster fire coming from behind you as a woman and older dark-skinned man walk out the door. They take down the remaining shadow troopers and walk up behind you.

“We need you inside,” Cara pants.

“You need to sneak out of the city with the child.” You say keeping your eyes on Gideon looking at his dead troopers.

“Mando isn’t doing so good Deathblade.” Karga says. “He took a hit pretty bad.”

“I will burn you all out!” Gideon shouts.

You sigh and turn towards the door of the tavern, walking into a disheveled room with skewed about chairs and tables, and a few dead bodies. You see Mando resting up against a block of concrete. The kid is resting his hand on his boot.

“Mando,” you say as you kneel beside him.

“Y/N,” he sighs. He reaches out and touches your cheek. His heart pounds at the sight of you. He’s overcome with love for you. It doesn’t matter you disobeyed his order to stay behind. “You came.”

You cover his hand with yours and smile, “I did.”

“I’m not going to make it.” Din says with a crack in his voice.

“You will. I promise.” You say before getting up.

Greef and Cara are looking at you. IG-11 is standing off to the side.

“The three of you need to take the child and go,” you say as you look at the metal grate. “IG take care of the grate.”

The droid walks over to the grate and begins using a torch to melt the metal away.

You walk over and grab the child, see the bag and hand both to Cara. “Take him and go.”

Cara raises her eyebrows. “I don’t do kids.”

“Today you do.” You retort.

The droid finishes with the grate and walks back over. “I am a nursing droid, I could help the Mandalorian.”

You look the droid over. “You’re a killer.”

“I was. Reprogrammed.” The droid replies as the flametrooper begins blasting fire from his torch into the oblong window of the tavern.

Everyone takes cover as the flames spread through the opening into the room.

“Fine,” you hiss. You look at Cara and Greef, the kid. “Please go. We’ll be behind you.”

Cara and Greef look at one another then back at you. They nod and begin the descent down into the sewers.

You kneel next to Mando, your hands on his helmet. You take it off him and notice the blood over his face. “IG?”

“I have bactas spray.” The droid answers.

“I don’t want him…” Mando says.

“The spray will help Mando.” You whisper. “I have to take care of the flametrooper.” You look at the droid. “You can help him down to the sewers?”

“Yes.” IG states.

“You’ll also make sure they all get out? Alive?”

“Yes.” IG repeats.

Mando grabs your arm. “You aren’t leaving me! Do not sacrifice yourself for me!”

“I have a job to protect the child,” you pause and touch his cheek, “to protect you. You hired me. Remember?”

Mando pulls your head down and brushes your lips softly. “I remember.”

You look into his onyx eyes and in this moment you know, you realize – you love him. “I love you Din,” you whisper as you caress his cheek before standing up and walking back out into the courtyard.

Mando returns his focus back to the IG.

“She is genuine in her feelings,” the droid states.

“I know,” Mando whispers. “I know.”

-------

You hold your hand up, creating a Force field in front of you as you walk through the flames and back out into the courtyard. The flametrooper looks at you and as soon as he pulls the trigger your hand reaches up, pushing the flames back at him. The orange flames consume him as he falls to the black sand he was walking on.

Gideon walks forward, your father behind him. “Last time Y/N. Join us.”

“Never.” You hiss.

“This galaxy should know power like yours. Power like the asset has.” Gideon says as more Stormtroopers make their way into the courtyard. “We can control everything.”

“I will die before I let you have them.”

Gideon raises his blaster towards you and your father sees him do this and runs in front of the blaster as it goes off.

The blaster gets Ramee right in the chest. He grabs his chest as he falls forward then back. “She will destroy you Gideon,” Ramee whispers. “She will. Destroy. You.”

Gideon steps forward and looks down, “we’ll see about that.”

You unhook your lightsaber as Gideon steps over your father, walking towards you. Gideon takes out the Darksaber and turns it on. You turn your lightsaber on, the purple beam humming to life, the hilt slightly vibrating in your hands. You hadn’t held this in years, hadn’t used it in years but you know it’s an extension of you, just like your sword had been.

Gideon approaches you, lifting the Darksaber up. Once he is a couple feet away, he brings it down and you block the blow with your lightsaber. You use the strength you have to lift your lightsaber and swing it back at him. Gideon stumbles back as the beam nearly cuts him across the arm.

You and Gideon begin fighting with your sabers in the courtyard. The hums of the sabers filling your ears as you watch Stormtroopers move out of the way. You notice some walking into the tavern, hoping everyone is out of the city alive. Hoping they are on their way back to the Razor Crest.

You feel the pull of the Darksaber and ignore it. It’s calling to you like it had on Sundari. You mustn’t think of it. You think of the lightsaber in your hand, wield it like you wielded your sword. You watch Gideon grasp the Darksaber tighter in his hands.

“Don’t you dare try to remove it from my grasp!” Gideon shouts.

“I’m not doing anything,” you hiss.

“You should give up Deathblade.”

“Never.” You hiss as you push down on Gideon and the Darksaber.

An explosion off in the distance rattles the ground and catches both you and Gideon off guard. You watch as the ball of fire pushes its way up into the air. Fuck, is all you think. And you don’t see Gideon swinging down the Darksaber towards you cutting through the beskar chest plate you are wearing, burning your flesh with the blade of the Darksaber.

“No!” Ramee shouts as he looks on. “No!”

Gideon sneers as he walks off towards his TIE fighter. It lifts off into the air and towards the explosion. Stormtroopers file out of the courtyard, back to their transport units.

Ramee drags himself to your body. He rests one hand on you as he brings you into his lap. “No. No.” He whispers with tears running down his eyes. “Y/N! Daughter. No.” Ramee sobs as he presses his head against yours. “Gods, no. You have a life to live. You’re so much better than I ever was. I’m sorry.” He rocks you in his arms.

In his mind, Ramee sees the galaxy at peace, the Darksaber back on Mandalore in Sundari. He sees the back of the Mandalorian, wearing no helmet. Ramee sees a young child looking up, at you. The last thing Ramee sees is you – smiling, happy, at peace, and in love.

Ramee opens his eyes as he places his hand over your wound. He knows he’s doing the right thing by giving what’s left of him to you – the last of his Force power to heal you.

-------

Mando finishes placing the rocks over Kuiil’s grave and boards the Razor Crest. He flies the ship towards the city, setting it down on the outskirts of the battle ridden stone and black lava sand city.

He opens the ramp and looks down at the kid, “stay here.”

The kid coos loudly.

“I will get her.” Mando pauses, “stay here.”

The kid seems to pout as it looks down then turns away.

Mando walks down the cargo ramp and into the quiet city. He sees your body lying on the ground and runs over to you. He gathers you in his arms and cradles you against his armor.

“No!” Mando shouts. “Y/N!?”

A gloved hand cups your cheek, runs down your chest.

Mando notices the broken beskar metal, notices the cut and wound on your skin. Mando feels at it. The wound is tender and the blood around it is dry.

“I’m sorry,” Mando cries as he pulls your body close to hers.

Footsteps are heard and Mando pulls his blaster. He sees the Armorer walking towards him.

The Armorer stops and looks down. “She’s there Mando. She’s hanging on. You should take her and leave.”

“She’s dead.”

“She isn’t. You can pull her back to here. Take her and go.”

Mando stands with you in his arms, begins walking towards the Razor Crest.

The Armorer walks ahead of him and stops him. She has a lightsaber in her hand. “She’ll need this. Save it for her.”

Mando looks between the lightsaber and the Armorer. He senses the other Mandalorian knows something about you but pushes it aside. He grabs the lightsaber and nods.

Mando walks aboard the Razor Crest and places you down in the bunk. He then grabs the kid and places him next you. “Watch her.”

The kid coos as Mando closes the cargo ramp, then Mando climbs up to the cockpit. He flies away from Nevarro, setting course for Endor.

Mando returns down to the cargo bay and sits by your side on the bunk. He strokes your cheeks then takes off his helmet.

“Come back to me Y/N,” Din whispers before placing his lips against yours.

-------

You feel light like a feather as you walk through a blinding light. You shield your eyes and once you are through, the light is gone and you are standing alone in the temple on Mandalore. At the altar is standing a Mandalorian, not your Mandalorian though.

Death definitely is a Mandalorian, you think as you walk slowly towards the altar.

You look down at your body. You are dressed in a floor sweeping white gown. You lift the ends up and notice you are barefoot. You notice your arms are bare from clothing, but your shriek-hawk tattoo is vibrant as ever, it seems to glimmer under the blue crystal glass which now has sunrays seeping through it, giving off a kaleidoscope of color.

“Y/N,” you spin around at the sound of your Mandalorian’s voice. No one’s there.

You face the altar and the Mandalorian is now gone. You are alone in the temple, alone in the kaleidoscope of color in the Heavens. You spin around, you feel happy. You feel at peace. You feel free then you feel lips pressing against your mouth and close your eyes. You open them again and your Mando is kissing you. You reach up and run your hand through his hair.

He pulls back and looks at you. He smiles, cupping your cheek. “Y/N.”

“Din,” you whisper.

You look around and realize you are on the Razor Crest. The green bean is on the other side of you, looking between you and Din. You see the signet on Din’s armor. “Mudhorn?”

“The kid helped me defeat one months ago. It was after I ran into you on Kashyyyk.” Din pauses. “The kid and I, a clan of two.” Din smiles, traces your lips. “You make us a clan of three.”

 Two months later

 “All negative,” Kath says as she turns to you.

You are sitting in the med bay of the bunker. Just the two of you.

“Are you okay?” Kath asks with concern.

You nod. You’re unsure to be happy or sad. You aren’t pregnant. “Then why did my father think…,” you mumble out.

“I don’t know Y/N. Maybe he sensed eventually you’d have a child. I don’t know how your Force powers work. You once told me it could vary from one to another.”

You wipe away a few tears. Part of you had been ready, been preparing yourself to hear you were pregnant – mainly because you knew Din would be a wonderful father, you on the other hand would be a nervous wreck, but you and Din would be raising the child together.

“Thanks Kath,” you say before heading out of the med bay.

You walk through the bunker and out into the mild air on Endor. Your Mando is standing watch over the foundlings and the green bean in his full armored uniform and helmet. You approach Din and wrap your arm around him. He looks down at you as he wraps his arms around you. He presses his helmet against your head, “I love you.”

You smile. “I love you too.”

You are happy, at peace. You sear this moment into your memory.

Minutes later Kath comes running from behind you and stands in front of you and Din.

You raise your eyebrows. “What?”

“Gideon,” Kath pants, “Gideon is alive.” 

Tags: @cosmo-bear​, @holyground1996​, @pascalisthepunkest​

[nosferatyou]

New Tune: Chapter 6 (Jake Kiszka x Reader)

WC: 6k (damn I went off)

Warnings: Cursing, Drug use, rock and roll, romantic tension, and a very sweet moment

Summary: Two guitarists meet at a Rock Festival, only having a week with each other before they have to return to their own lives. The bond they create is unfeigned and resolute

AUTHORS NOTE:I listened to an ungodly amount of John Denver while writing this. Also never written a scene like the last before soo that's fun.

 I wanted to try to give them two different styles that represented the characters, and I think I got it. I always saw Jake’s more of a mess, but its still in harmony. While hers is more like mine, a need for perfection, never fully happy with the final product. But there's my rendition of reader and Jake! I hope its satisfactory (also breaking away from your art style is very hard, but hella fun)

***

After she left last night all the boys couldn’t stop gushing about Y/N, well more couldn't stop making fun of me. Holding my newfound feelings for her above my head. Sam and Danny were acting out the night before, but wildly blew it out of proportion.

Sam and Danny were sitting incredibly close on the couch, each hand intertwined with the other boys.  Looking at each other with loving eyes, and the occasional dramatic, love struck sigh coming from Sam. 

“Oh Y/N, the way you wield your axe is just so sexy.” Sam said to Danny, trying to replicate my voice, but was so dramatic about it he was nowhere close.

“Not as sexy as you not making a move.” Danny said with a skewed high pitch voice.

The two boys pressed their cheeks and looked at me, batting their lashes, holding back a laugh.

“If only I didn’t have a mean old boyfriend holding me back from this sexy-” Danny was cut off by me standing from my spot and grabbing my lighter and Cigs.

“Real comedians you guys are.”

I was met with my twin, Josh, already out there seemingly enjoying the morning air.

I looked over and met his gaze, a bright smile adorning his face.

“Well good morning, little bro.”

I grumbled “by five minutes.” Under my breath. I took a spot next to him, leaning against the bus and lighting a cigarette, taking a big hit before finally exhaling.

He looked over to me with more than confusion than previously. 

“Something on your mind? Or should I say Someone on your mind?” A small sympathetic smile following the question.

I took a final drag and put out my cig, turning my full attention towards him.

“Sam and Danny are just doing their normal shit. I love them, but goddamn, they're getting on my nerves.”

“Are you sure that’s all that’s bothering you?” 

I focused on the cigarette butt on the ground, kicking it aimlessly.

“We both know that's not all that’s bothering me.”

He nudged my shoulder and gave the smile as before. “Well let it all out. Tell me about her.”

“You’ve already met her, dumbas-”

He cut me off saying “Well I know about her, but tell me how you feel about her. Dumbass.”

I gave a small laugh and looked back up at my twin.

“ She’s just- Nothing i've ever experienced. She’s got such a diverse taste in everything. She listens to everything we do, all the Jazz, folk, and so on, but then there's everything else. If she knew every word to every song I wouldn't be surprised.” 

I looked back up to josh and the smile on his face had grown. He nodded his head as if to say “Go on”

“And the sheer talent in this girl. You saw her yesterday, so you know. She can play anything man I swear. We spent about three hours playing nonstop and she did it like it was nothing. Did you know she can play like 7 instruments? Its fucking crazy. Plus the way she works with that bow is something else, maybe it's because she has cello experience. She probably has jimmy page impressed.”

 I trailed off for a moment, just thinking about her. My cheeks grew warm and flushed red. 

“She’s also so compassionate, you can tell she really cares. Despite her nonchalant demeanor she secretly goes out of her way to make sure everyones okay. She never told me that, but I can just tell.” 

“You really like her don't you?” Josh asked.

“ I really fucking like her, Josh.” 

After our chat Josh suggested that I spend all the time I can with her, make my mark, so here I am at her door, praying she’s there. With my supplies in hand, I freed my hand to knock on their door. Eventually the door swung open to Y/N with a somber face, but it brightened a bit when she realized it was me. Wearing comfier clothes then she had previously worn.

“Well hey there, Rockstar. Didn't think I’d see you till later.”

“Well I’m here now, and I brought something that'll hopefully cheer you up.”

She raised her eyebrows and noticed what I had in my arms.

“Oh?”

“Let me inside and I'll show you.” I playfully winked.

She laughed and walked up the stairs, letting me in. I walked in, shutting the door behind me, and found her sitting on the couch, knees tucked under her arms.

“Well are you just going to stand there staring, or are you going to show me what you brought?”

She asked, cocking an eyebrow.

I sat down across from her at the table, dumping all the stuff on it. A way too big sketchbook, a huge pencil bag, and gummy bears for good measure.

She stood up and her meek smile grew.

“How’d you know that I could draw?” 

“I just somehow knew a lady of many talents, such as yourself, was probably talented with a pencil as well.”

 She grabbed the huge bag and searched through until she was satisfied. Opened it up to the next blank page and opened the gummy bears for good measure.

She looked up to me with a confused look. 

“What are you still doing over here? Grab the guitar and provide some good tunes while you model for me.” 

I laughed and grabbed the guitar that was in its case next to me. I moved to the couch and unpacked it while asking, “Should I stay still if I’m you’re model?”

Without looking up from the sketch pad, she said, “Nah I should be fine. Just make sure to play something good.”

She looked up at me giving a brighter smile, and refocusing on the task at hand. 

We sat quietly for about 45 minutes, her looking up at me from time to time. Sometimes I’d make a silly face, and make her laugh. Soon after though she would return to her work, not even looking up to grab more candy. When she really focused on her work she’d scrunch up on corner of her mouth. Sometimes she’d bite her lip, back up the paper, then would go to erase something. She never failed to mindlessly hum along to songs though, only proving my point from this morning. 

She finally backed the paper up one final time before clicking her tongue, her eyes lighting up.

“I think I got your essence perfectly.”

She flipped it around to show me, nervousness flashing in her eyes for a moment.

I was completely blown away. She had completely nailed it. It only made my heart swell more.

She flipped it back around to look at it again “I think I kind of messed up your face a little in the big one. Sorry about that.”

“No no! It looks absolutely perfect and I’m not at all surprised. You did good, seriously. Y/N it looks fantastic.” I gushed, my cheeks growing pink.

Her cheeks grew pink and refocused on the drawing in front of her. She grabbed the pencil and eraser and continued to poke at her piece, never content with her own work.

After a little while I moved the guitar off my lap and moved towards her to nab the items out of her hands. I swiftly grabbed them and hid them behind my back, a pert smile on my lips..

“Hey! I was using those you know.” She said, holding her hand out as to ask for them back.

I quickly shook my head and said “You think I’m just going to give these to you? It's already perfect, there's nothing more to fix.”

She turned her head down with a sad look adorning her face, but I caught the mischievous grin poking through. “Fine then.”

“You're really not great at faking it, darling. I see that little smile on your face.”

She lightly chuckled and suddenly jumped up out of her seat to grab the items from behind me, but just as swiftly as she lept, I took a big step backwards.

“Gotta try harder than that, Little Bird.” I moved my hand above my head, and wiggled the pencils in the air enticingly. 

She looked up at the items and then back at me, a smug look on her face.

“You may be a big rockstar and all..” She paused and easily reached up, grabbing them out of my hands. “But I'm still taller than you.” She went to sit behind me on the couch in my previous spot, but not without ruffling my hair in a teasing manner. 

“You did your best, buddy.”

I whipped around and dramatically put my hands on my hips. “I totally went easy on you.”

“Sure, Rockstar.” She said, grabbing the guitar from beside her, strumming a few chords.

I grabbed all the essentials off the table, sketchbook, pencil bag, and of course the gummies. Then made my way to the couch, plopping down on her left side, dumping everything to my own. 

She stopped for a moment to try and hand me back the pencil and eraser, but I pushed her hand away and chuckled. 

“Don't you want these back, to you know, draw?” She asked.

“I prefer ink, but thank you, Little Bird.” I smiled.

We did the same as before, she modeled and provided tunes while I did my best to capture her. I knew we’d have different styles right away. You can tell she's a perfectionist in her work, not accepting flaws. I have messy lines, them almost seem alive with how fast I create them. I draw what I see, but add my own to it, depth can be something you make. So for the next hour or so I did my best to scratch out her beauty, mostly focusing on her face, which became apparent when I got a good look at it. I had been so careful with her face that the rest didn't seem to matter.

Id catch her glances every now and then, peaking at me over the guitar in curiosity. Every time I did I’d make a silly face, and every time she quietly laughed to herself with a content smile that follow. Every chance I could id try to catch her eyes just to see that. 

Halfway through her quiet rendition of “Dink's Song” I had finally finished her portrait. Which honestly didn’t compare to hers, but still, I was proud. I flipped it around to face her, and suddenly her singing stopped, her focus completely on the piece 

“Jake” She paused and grabbed it out of my hands, studying it more. 

“This is fucking fantastic.” She breathed out. Her eyes rapidly wandered the piece, trying to take it all in.

A small grin broke out on my face, and quietly fiddled with my hands, not wanting to interrupt her thoughts. 

She looked back up at me with wide, questioning eyes “How does no one know that you're this good?” She asked.

I chuckled and said “ Never seemed important to share. Its only a small hobby.”

“Only a small hobby.” She mocked. “As I said, this is fucking fantastic.”

“Well thank you, Little Bird.” A small blush forming on my cheeks.

“No, thank you, man.” She paused and moved the guitar to her side then grabbed my hand.

“No ones ever made me something like this. It’s absolutely beautiful.”

“Anything for you, Little Bird.” I said, and I meant every word.

She never let go of my hand, just sat back into her seat staring off in thought, I didn't mind the silence though. Until she asked

“Hey, Jake?”

“Yeah, Y/N?”

“I'm sorry I dragged you into that pit, I saw the way the media got a hold of it. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable.”

I squeezed her hand and caressed the back of it with my thumb. My heart was beating so hard, and I was incredibly nervous. She didn’t seem to mind at all though.

“Oh Little Bird, No darling this happens literally all the time. It’s nothing to stress over.”

“You sure?” She asked.

“Completely.” I paused for a moment “But I’m sorry it caused… you know. Boy trouble.”

She groaned and threw her head back “Oh god you head that?”

“Well when you yell that you’re not fucking Jimmy Page for everyone to hear its hard not to.” A playful smile on my lips. 

She groaned again and said “Oh god I’m sorry.”

“It's fine man, I get it all the time.. Well not the fucking part, but the Jimmy Page part.”

“She whipped her head to face me and quickly responded “No, not okay. You and Jimmy Page have completely different styles, and idiots like him who don't even listen to Greta have no say. I could go on about the technicalities of it all, but id probably bore you.” She paused and stared 

off for a moment for returning. “Plus I don't even think he listened to, nor liked zeppelin.”

“Well that's just blasphemous.” 

She laughed “You've got that right!”

“Wait shit do you have the time.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and turned it on, the screen flashed 4:30. I passed it over to her and as quickly as she read it, she popped up off the couch frantically.

“Shit! I have to get ready and go to sound check at 6!”

“Well go get ready then! Want me to wait?” I asked.

“Sure, but I can't promise that it will be very interesting.”

“I don't mind, after I can walk you to the venue if you'd like.”

She smiled and said “ And they say chivalry is dead.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He was kind enough to wait around and watch me do my makeup for the next 30 minutes. I of course put a little eyeliner on him, he didn't ask but he didn't seem appalled at the idea. After all of that I quickly put on my stage clothes, which consisted of Dark blue high waisted bell bottoms, a simple blue velvet bralette, a black see through shirt with white embroidered flowers (fully unbuttoned of course, and purple paisley heels for some color. When I came out of the back and he saw what I was wearing he was not very suave about complimenting it. It was honestly pretty cute.

As promised he walked me to the venue, he even added my guitar to his already heavy load. Once we got there he sadly had to go because he had his own show to get ready for. He didn't leave without a hug and a wish for good luck before going to wherever he needed to be. 

One successful soundcheck later and we were all ready for the stage. 

Nerves jittered through the whole band, this was the biggest crowd we've ever played, and it's all thanks to the Greta boys. All of the people in the crowd were here to see them. 

5 minutes till we had to go on stage and Eli had taken a small glass jar with white contents inside out of his pocket, luckily we were alone in our dressing room. He asked Asa to hold up his bass for us as a makeshift table. He emptied enough for all of us to snort three lines.

 We all let him go first since it was his, with drug equity and all. Matt went next, not that he needed it, he was already so chaotic, but it's fun to all be high together. Eli took it from Asa and let him do his, then it was my turn. We used to do this a lot before shows, but recently with a break for recording its lessened. Still our tolerances were higher than the first time we all did it together. 

I bent down to snort the first line, the familiar smell of petrol hit my nose, and shortly after I felt the drug hit the back of the throat. It burned for a brief moment, but then I got that drip, my nose, tongue and throat went numb, which made it all the more easier for the next two lines.

I instantly felt that buzz, the high we’d all been chasing. We all went from nervous to ready to play in front of a million people. Matt jumped up and in tow we all did. Buzzing from our high.

 Id grabbed my guitar and slung it on my back, Eli did the same, then we all made our way to the main stage. We whooped and hollered, ready to take on our biggest show. In the wings I spotted the Greta boys and quickly made my way over to them.

“You look absolutely stunning, Darling!” Josh yelled at me.

I slung my arm over him for a quick hug and replied “Don't I know it, had to show off the goods somehow. I'm a free woman! Well not yet… But when I get a mic on my hands I will be dumping my bitch ass boyfriend.”

“Hell yeah! Fuck that guy!” Sam chimed in.

“Fuck that guy!” I pulled away from the hug and told josh “Dude your skin has what I can only describe as good vibes, man. Like a warm feeling. I have to apologize, I just did a couple lines of coke and I am feeling the buzz. Like, Jake, you look ethereal in this light right now. Absolutely stunning.”

He just laughed and said “Well i'm glad i can be described as ethereal.”

“I could honestly go on about it, but I think I have to go. I hope you all enjoy, and wish me luck!” 

Behind me I could hear someone say “One minute!” So I quickly darted back over to my band. 

We did our lucky chant, huddled, first all crouched low to the ground. The chant really isn’t all that intricate, we just go start chanting “Fuck” in a whisper, then gradually getting louder until we are screaming and jumping around, bumping into each other.

 As so we were screaming and knocking into each other, until we all chilled and got plugged up and ready to go.

We heard our bands name announced and made our way on stage. Cheers erupted from the crowd, which was huge might I add. With the coke I was ready to do anything, and this was going to be a breeze. 

Before we went on I asked Matt if I could introduced the first song and he very graciously agreed.

We took to our spots, and when the crowd quieted Matt did the introduction.

“Hello, California! We are so glad to be here, and fucking jam with you guys! But we have a guitarist who wants to introduce our first song.”

More cheers erupted from the crowd, but that didn't last long. I stepped up to the mic “Hello everyone! I really want to dedicate this to my boyfriend, Sam.”

My band all gave me the weirdest looks, but the crowd awed in response.

“I see those fucking looks you’re giving me guys. This goes out to my son of a bitch EX boyfriend who doesn't deserve this much woman! Fuck that guy! This ones called Innocent Sun.”

 For a third time the crowd erupted in cheers, this time just as excited as the first

I backed away, and our drummer Asa got the message, playing the count in. 

Despite the name of the song it was one of our angrier ones, which is why its at the top of the set. 

Eli and I came in with a heavier riff, and with the coke, physical touch was enhanced, so my guitar strings felt so weird it was a bit distracting. I didn’t mess it up but my head was out of it.

Matt was dancing wildly along to the music, whipping the microphone around like Roger Daltrey. While he sang he’d come up to all of us and try to interact. Like he and I would play back to back, and I’d sing with him from time to time. Typically he would run around and jump off the drum risers. 

By the end of the song the adrenaline of being on stage coerced with the drugs, creating something else. We all were doing new shit in every song. I was sticking new solos anywhere I could.  Matt attempted a backflip off one of the bigger amps, which he miraculously made. Eli at one point just slapped the shit out of his bass, which didn't sound too bad. Poor Asa couldn’t do too much from behind the drums, but his drum fills were phenomenal.

As a black sabbath type band we were getting strangely rowdy, and lucky for me I had a wireless set up. So during a solo in one of the heavier songs I did a guitar spin and everyone completely lost it. Lucky for me I had taken off my loose shirt earlier in the set. 

After I had winked at the Greta boys in the wings and they lost their shit, all cheering me on. I felt like I was on cloud nine.

My heart was pounding, my ears were ringing, and I felt like I could take on the world. I was creating new licks, killing solos, and giving off some pretty damn good stage presence. But I was starting to come off of my high, and all of those pent up feelings were starting to come out. Lucky for me our last song is when we covered “Dazed and Confused”, it didn't run as long as Zeppelin played it live but its longer than anything else we played. 

When we got to the guitar solo in the song I grabbed the bow behind my pedal board and stuck my pick between my lips, quickly switching on a bunch of delay effects. 

 I gave it one test stroke on the lowest string, creating a bunch of haunting notes. When I got my confidence I rapidly smacked the strings with the bow and played chords rapidly. I slowed down, and went into the upper register, rapidly playing the highest string like a violin, trying to sound delicate. My mind wandered again, everything flooding my head. Me finally leaving Sam, everything he put me through, all the abuse and turmoil finally over. Which produced a dark sound with my guitar, throwing caution into the wind, and smack the shit out of it, occasionally strumming. It was a loud crescendo into chaos, but a beautiful one at that. 

Sweat soaked my skin and my heart was practically beating out of my chest. I kept looking over to Jake throughout the solo, searching for something but I didn't know what. I then saw the way he looked at me when I played, then I remembered the way he looked at me in general. The longing looks, his attention to detail to everything I did, the way he listened and cared. When I was looking at him I finally realized what I had been so painfully blind to. That a man only looked at someone that was for one reason, and the way I stared back only gave him more incentive to. Thing was is that I enjoyed it. I wanted his attention all the time, so bad it hurt. And I realized that since the moment I met him I had been falling for him. I just gave him the brightest smile and he reciprocated with exactly that.  

I walked to the front of the stage and went into another realm of playing. I created a brighter tone as my hand danced up and down the neck. I gave one final stroke with the bow and walked closer to the amp to create feedback, creating a loud screech, transitioning into the end of the song. I threw my bow into the crowd and took the pick from my mouth went back into the main riff of Dazed and Confused with the rest of the band.

 Asa took a mini drum solo at the end and absolutely nailed it. To finally finish it all off we all went crazy with our instruments, Matt just screamed into the mic, Eli just smacked his strings over and over, Asa lost it with the drums, and I went into a final wild solo. We all looked at each other and mentally counted down, ending the song together. The crowd erupted with cheers and we made our way off the stage, all of feeling exhausted and covered head to toe in sweat, but proud of our performance. 

The moment I got off stage I ran to Jake, and he quickly engulfed me in his arms, only staying there for a moment before he pulled away. He kept me at arms length minimum when he rained compliments onto me.

“Y/N that was absolutely fantastic! Oh my god that spin made us all lose our minds! You have to teach me. I didn’t know you could do all that, and that solo on Dazed and Confused? Phenomenal, I say something in you change.”

“Thank you so much! Speaking of that, Jake. I've got to talk to you.”

He didn’t seem to think too much about that last comment, he seemed rushed.

“Of course, love. Later alright? We go on right after you and Josh will actually kill me if I’m late.” 

“Yeah I totally understand. Go hurry, I can't wait to see you guys go on.”

He gave me a tight hug before speed walking to one of the dressing rooms.

Nerves grew within me when I realized I had two big conversations to have.

Speaking of which, I guess I should do damage control, coked out me is a bit impulsive.

***

Finding a quiet spot was weirdly hard, I mean we were in a literal desert. But I turned on my phone, not checking my notifications. I just went straight to my contacts and dialed Sams number.

He took longer to pick up then normal. Weird.

“ What’d you do this time?”

“Well hello to you too.”

“Well you only call me when you know you screwed up, like with Jimmy Page.”

I let out a long sigh, dread building in me. “Did you watch my show?”

He obviously has not.

“ I caught the end of it, You really only looked back stage, was jimmy page there.”

That anger was building up again, he didn't even mention the actual show.

“ Listen Sam about that-”

He cut me off  “Oh so you are fucking him?”

“Sam just shut the fuck up!” 

The line went quiet, and surprisingly stayed quiet.

“Sam I can't do this anymore.” My voice slightly shaking with every word.

“Y/N no, I-” His tone was different than any he’d used over this week. His words were panicked, I actually don't ever think I've heard him like this.

“No Sam, I don't want this anymore. You treat me like garbage, you don't trust me, and you don’t respect me. So this is done.”

He got louder, his tone even more panicked before. I think he might have been crying. 

“You don't have to do this! I'll stop, I-I’ll stop everything! I will do anything you want me to… Just please stay.”

“You know that's not what will happen.” I said slowly, I was practically hanging my head in shame.

“Y/N please.” 

“ Please move out before I get home, you have a week or so. Im sorry, Sam.” and with that I hang up. 

 I was practically whispered at that point. I wasn't disappointed in myself, but it was shitty of me to do it over the phone. The way I handled it all was shitty.

What pulled me out of mood was josh voice talking over the PA and Jake guitar ringing through the air. I booked it as fast as I could to the venue so I could see their whole show. I pushed respectively pushed through some random workers and crew, but I made to the wings just in time.

The moment got their parked myself as close I could, wanting to see everything. I caught Jake’s eyes when I got there and he almost seemed relieved. He gave me a warm smile, then refocused on the song “The Cold Wind.”

The show was absolutely phenomenal. They all killed it, Josh with his wailing, Sams bright bass lines, Jake perfect guitar work, and of course, Danny who held it all together perfectly. 

I danced and sang along with what I knew, Which was admittedly sparse. I didn't stop until I heard “Black Flag Exposition” which put me in a trance, I just couldn't focus on anything else. 

I know I heard it just yesterday but this is something else. His emotion bled through his music, he created magic that night. Which bled right into “Watching Over,”and he pulled the over the shoulder solo. It was uh… quite the spectacle.

 I danced and watched as long as I could, but before I could see the end of When the curtain falls I was dragged away by a roadie.

 I was given my guitar and attached to the bluetooth system. They worked fast, getting me through a small soundcheck as quickly as possible. After they just placed me right back where I was before to await my que. 

The moment I got there I heard Josh give a small speech to the crowd, and it was the sweetest thing I’d ever heard.

“I love you all! We are here to celebrate Life, love, and music. Where there is love, we must celebrate it, All of us! And Where there is no love we must provide it. That's what we are to do tonight. Now we have one last song, and one more person to spread the love with. Give it up for Miss Y/N Y/LN!”

With my guitar in hand I made my way to my spot on stage between Josh and Jake, the mic stand already set up. 

“We took a lot of time to think of the perfect song you guys, and we decided on the one song that can make anyone fall in love. Enjoy.”

Jake and I started the solo to “Annie's Song”  together, even though we didn’t have acoustics we still sounded beautiful. 

Josh came in, but instead of his normal higher pitched voice, he used his lower register which still blew me away even though we practiced for hours yesterday. With Sam on the Keys it all was enough to make me cry. 

When we got to the chorus Jake and I Stepped up to the mic to harmonize with Josh, but the crowd decided to join in. It was absolutely transcendent

. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Jake, and the smile off of my face. Hearing the crowd sing along with us, singing with my friends, and finally feeling free, I couldn't help but let a tears flow down my cheeks.

We stepped back to let Josh sing again, and Jake seemed to notice the tears and gave me the sweetest smile he could. All the love in the room was truly moving me. For the last chorus josh asked the crowd to sing along again and as loud as they could. 

As Jake and I sang we stole glances from each other, the smiles not breaking from either of our faces. Something in me finally settled, I really was truly free. 

Josh sang the final note, and we finished off the song by giving a final strum to a G chord together. As quickly as it began it had ended and suddenly walking off stage, finding myself without a guitar and being wrapped into another from jake. 

I instantly could smell his cologne on him, stronger than anything else. My skin burned where he touched me, I was buzzing with adrenaline, and I wanted nothing more than to just stay there.

Without pulling away he whispered “That really was something, huh?”

“It really was, Jake.” I sniffled.

He gently pulled away, but didn't move me from his arms. Instead of saying anything he brought his hand to my cheek and gently wiped away my tears. I looked up to him with eyes full of emotion. A lopsided smile adorned his face, and I swore his eyes were full of stars.

His hand was warm on my face, and continued to gently stroke my cheek. 

“You're beautiful, you know that?” I blurted out, still with a soft tone. Our eyes never left each others. 

His smile grew at the comment and he seemed to drift closer to me, heat radiating off him. 

“ The same could easily be said for you, little Bird.” 

I reached up and brushed his hair out of his face, my fingers moving from the tucked hair behind his ear to the back of his neck, delicately entangling them in his hair. 

I glanced down to his mouth, his lips partially open, pink and plush, astonishingly beautiful. I met his eyes again, searching, trying to find an incentive to move forward. He looked at me with the same expression, something of desperation and a softness read through him.

I moved painfully slow, pulling him closer to me, the same scent from before coming back to me. I put my other hand on his bare chest, inching closer to him. He kept his hand on my face, but moved his other to my lower back. My whole body was buzzing, wanting to move closer.

My eyes fell to his face for a moment, he drifted closer to me, our noses bumped one another.

I held my breath in anticipation, waiting for the moment to come. 

I couldn't take it anymore. I closed my eyes and pushed forward,  my lips meeting his, my warmth pushing against his. I was slowly engulfed into the warmth of his body, fleeting touches, the both of us finally emotionally letting go. When he kissed back I felt my blood rushing through my body, my heart rate rapidly increasing,  I could feel his beat just as hard against my hand. He pulled me closer to him, and I ran my hand from his chest to his neck, desperately trying to feel as if we were one. 

Both of us were heavily breathing through our noses, not wanting to break away from the rhythm we had created. Our hearts beat in tandem, our hands creating a pace, and our lips moving together in tandem. Creating a New Tune, something in our spirits becoming one for a small, fleeting moment. 

We both pulled away, leaning our foreheads against each other, breath heavy, and our hands unmoving.

“I've been wanting to do that all week” He weakly laughed out.

[vloggerliam]

Maybe Niall is not the problem? I mean Liam also complimented Zayn and Pillowtalk. Even though days prior he said he would let Zayn drown and didn't understand why he Zayn hated being in 1D. And it's not just Niall like you guys have stated before it's also Louis and Harry not showing support. So why automatically assume Niall is the one with the problem??

Anon 2: I'm a bit confused right now. When the ztans got upset over what Liam said about Zayn they overreacted? The other boys haven't said anything negative about Liam & thank you for explaining how public support is so important. & how it would have motivated neutral fans. Does that mean Liam's comments about Zayn & not understanding why he left 1D had no negative effect what's so ever? Sadly for Liam while yes ot4 stans had more excuses to hate Zayn it also affected him & a lot of ppl dropped him.

Hi,I’ve decided to address both of you at the same time because I have similar things to say.Not once have I mentioned that Niall is or was theproblem, I don’t know if you read it off somewhere and are coming at me to takecollective responsibility but I have not once painted Niall (or any of theothers) as the bad guy. The tags designated for this topic by me are:management fuckery and the situation, not Niall fuckery or any warped ass shitlike that. I have always maintained, it’s not just Niall, it’s also Louis and Harry, where have you been?Having said that though, Niall a few months back mentioned that if they don’t publicly wish each other, a million stories get written about it, so he is aware of that. Louis clearly preferred publicly expressing his love for Niall, instead of texting in private, he said so himself. So they’re clearly aware. I guess it’s maybe unfair for everyone to be especially expectant of Niall but that’s also because Niall was and continues to be the most publicly supportive out of all of them. He clearly hasn’t discount on publicly supporting Harry or Louis. Besides, Niall and Liam share the same UK label so maybe that’s also another reason people expected him to tweet something, if nobody else. I never mentioned ztans getting upset anywhere? In fact, I understand if ztans got hella upset and all, they buy all narratives and think the world of z*gi’s photoshopped PR romance so I really don’t think I have ever directed any of anger at what they had to say or not. I was more pissed and a bit irked by the so called Ziams and OT5 stans who give the benefit of doubt to everyone over everything but conveniently ignored Liam. About Liam’s comments where he says he doesn’t get why Zayn left, I think those were absolutely unnecessary and insensitive and yes, people have a right to be pissed at him for saying that but I saw some really ugly stuff being hurtled at Liam which is completely unwarranted. The drowning game was a joke, imo. I would also like to clarify that I don’t think Liam in actuality doesn’t understand why Zayn left, that’s because:1. Liam in his first radio interview since Zayn’s departure sounded absolutely understanding of Zayn’s situation, he even said that he didn’t get it at first and he understands now. If he really was clueless, he would have voiced it out then. 2. Zayn’s mentioned that he and Liam talk thereby explaining things were fine between them, even as per the narratives. 3. Liam when asked about the Titanic question picked Harry and Ed over Zayn. Let’s talk context: they went hard for those 2 days with anti ziam-ness, so I’m not surprised. Practically speaking though, he’d already said Harry’s music taste wasn’t his and incurred the wrath of a majority of this fandom. Ed co-wrote his solo debut single, there was no way he’d have not picked Ed because who is that ungrateful? There was no correct answer with that question. It was very reminiscent of Zayn’s radio interview where he didn’t even bring up the PillowTalk views vs the History mv views but he was cornered by the radio guy. 4. I cannot repeat this enough times but the bit about not understanding why Zayn left came from Dan Wootton. Dan Wootton got exclusives from before SGT and PillowTalk mvs dropped, how? Dan Wootton gets exclusives of Liam’s personal life, and for that matter of all the boys’ personal lives, how? Dan Wotton continues to sell narratives. BUT, like my friend mentioned, we never got a picture advertising the podcast with Dan Wootton and Liam as we did for Dan Wootton and Niall or Dan Wootton and Harry! Ever wondered why? “Oh oh but we got audio of Liam!!!” Yeah we did. Print quotes are easy to manipulate because sometimes the tone gets lost in translation and also quotes can be made up but I can assure you that if you went to Billboard right now, if you had the right connections and tried to extract that audio of Zayn and the interviewer that led to the Billboard interview, then you will find it. Because believe it or not, while most of these print quotes can be skewed, they actually do come out of the boys’. It’s not that black and white. Meanwhile Zayn messed up on audio too right? With the ‘n’ word? Where is his apology?Most importantly though, Sashaa Malik 2 days after the Dan wootton and drowning mess, happened to like and possibly rt a tweet saying Liam will always be supportive of Zayn and won’t let anyone forget Zayn is a part of 1D. But she has always been a Liam girl, you say? Okay but Sarooha Malik Snapchatted/Instagrammed bopping to Strip That Down. As insensitive as that Dan interview mention of Zayn was, that podcast didn’t gain much traction either. I get the feeling you’re both pitting Liam as a villain and implying Liampraising PillowTalk was some sort of damage control and I’m just going to remind you of the following:1. Liam was the only one who went off script and thanked Zayn at theBBMAs, so much so that the next time on stage they cut him off and this proves he went off script, and if you still doubt that go check H, Lou and Ni’s expressions,2. Liam was the only one who included Zayn in the 5thanniversary tweet, Zayn acknowledged it,3. Liam publicly said he loves Zayn and would welcome himback in the pap session from 2016, 4. ZAYN FIRST brought up “wanting to do somethingoutside of the band anyway” with Liam5. Repeating this but Liam’s radio interview with Ryan Seacrest after Zayn left plus pap sesh from 2016 is pretty Zayn positiveWas all of this preemptive damage control too? From over 1-2 years ago? LMAO. Liam didn’t abruptly start talking positively about Zayn, so kiss my ass. @anon 2, you indeed are welcome and people always drop Liam, but the hypocrisy is pretty evident when y’alls fave fuck up even more. 

[colawrites-archive-blog]

1, 3, 5, 11, 18 !

1:  Most well-developed muse you have ever played

Wesley Kelley. My son, my child, my angry boy.  I think, at least, he’s my most developed. His voice seems a bit more solid than most to me. Plus I’m 100% sure I could write for him absolutely any time throughout his life. I know so many pointless details about him it’s absurd. I also think I’ve done a decent job writing his contradicting views/attitudes without it being confusing or out of character (?).

3:  A face claim you can’t stand anymore.

Aar*n J*hnson, Kath*rine McN*mara, N*na D*brev, Dyl*n O’Br*en (except for one I loved)… Pretty much if they’re in the a-pp-less rp tag or a super common mascot FC I probably can’t stand them. Gotta admit, I’m super judgemental with faceclaims but if the character’s well written I’m easily swayed.

5: A character you want to play

I’ve had a character on the backburner for like a year named Poppy Hart. She’s definitely the meanest, least empathetic character I’ve written (she kills animals and would not stop at people) plus she has a very skewed perspective on the world seeing as she’s basically at zero as far as sympathising and empathising with people and incapable of love in the traditional sense. It’d be hella fun to write her perspective.

11:  A dynamic you would like to play out one day

I want to play more uneven relationships. I’ve always thought writing some unreciprocated romantic relationship would be super interesting. It could go any way really from just being tolerated or one is manipulative as long as they’re not on the same level at all. One person likes another, the other fucking hates them. Basically uneven and negative dynamics but I just make everyone too damn friendly this never happens.

18:  Pet Peeve when it comes to roleplaying

Those people that pick up like a really good bio character and then do nothing but post muse and vanity shit (not even songs or quotes, just aesthetic shit that’s not really specific? like it’s all bralettes and chick-a-fil or whatever the current cool aesthetic to reblog is) plus they write the character with absolutely no real personality and get rid of all the good qualities of the original bio into a bland personality-less character that just talks about watching Netflix and eating (even if they’re some super athletic character). They’re usually played by a conventionally attractive white guy that Tumblr’s inexplicably obsessed with. The real cherry on top is when they post enough replies to still meet activity checks… Not to sound bitter or bitchy but I’m secretly bitter and bitchy haha.

thank you, darling :*