#so this was a lot of fun to develop and think about

[bullet-prooflove]

Daywalker: John Shen x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @miraclesabound @cannonindeez @fadeinsol @nommingonfood @yousigned-upforthis

Companion piece to:

Dick Pics - You and John discuss your dating life in the ambulance bay during a rare shift break.

Brunch - John refuses to give up when you miss brunch with him.

Silly Little Boys (NSFW) - John's not like the other men you've been with.

In The Summer - You discover John's secret.

Tiger, Tiger - John reveals the truth between his engagement and his history.

Jack - John's mother opens up old wounds by giving John a copy of your DCFS file.

Bare (NSFW) - John and you commit to each other in a special way.

The Shirt - Jack realises that you're wearing a boyfriend shirt.

Tradition - Mrs Shen makes a decision regarding the wedding.

Thanksgiving in The Pitt is batshit fucking crazy.

Bust ups, burns, accidently amputated appendages, the list goes on. The waiting room heaves to capacity, the ambulance bay is an endless stream of drop offs. Each doctor is turning over five patients an hour, getting them situated in the halls because food poisoning is the leading cause of illness during this holiday and the majority of them need drips due to dangerous levels of dehydration.

Throughout the chaos John catches glimpses of your presence, a flash of that neat bun, the sound of your voice carrying across the room, your signature on some of his intake paperwork. They’re the only signs of your existence during the nightmare shift.

It’s 4am when he finally gets a break, he takes a leak before heading out to the ambulance bay in his scrubs, sucking in a deep breath of cool, refreshing as soon as he steps onto the concrete.

You’re already waiting for him at your usual spot by the wall, there’s a brown paper bag alongside you with two plastic cups of cold brew coffee. Your rig is parked just to the right, the sounds of you partner’s snoring from the back echoing through the lot.

“I gotta warn you now.” You say as he approaches. “No hugs, I stink of vomit and other indescribable substances.”

“You think I care about that?” John asks placing his hands on his hips and tipping his head towards the E.D. “It’s like Saint Patrick’s Day all over again in there, I’m completely desensitised at this point.”

You roll your eyes to the heavens, stepping towards him. “Well played, you know I’m a goner for that slutty little hip thing you do.”

His arms wrap around you, drawing you into the shelter of his form. You fit against him perfectly, like two pieces of a shattered vase being reacquainted. His lips brush over your temple and he can feel the tension ebb out of your body as he cradles you close.

You’ve been away over the last few days in Seattle at the Paramedic Professional Development Conference. This is the first time he’s laid eyes on you since you’d gotten back into town because the day shift had gotten overwhelmed and he’d had to come in early.

“I’ve missed you.” He mumbles into your hair. “None of the other paramedics are nearly as much fun.”

Your chest vibrates with laugher against his and he can’t help but smile at the sensation as you tilt your head up to meet his gaze.

“You mean none of the others bring you coffee and turkey subs at four in the morning.” You point out and he shrugs his shoulders in response.

“They aren’t as cute either.”

“Yea, I know.” You say, taking his hand and leading him towards the wall. The two of you take a seat before unwrapping your sandwiches. “Trust me Chicago Fire has given the public some very unrealistic expectations in that department. You won’t believe how many people have been disappointed by the lack of hot firemen pulling up tonight.”

“Same here with Grey’s Anatomy. Although Abbot did get called McSteamy and Grumpy Daddy tonight so that was very entertaining.” He takes a bite from the sub and moans. “Christ have I told you how much I adore you recently?”

“Not nearly enough.” You tease, nudging his shoulder. “You’ll have to worship me when we get off shift, remind me why I keep coming around.”

“The videos I sent when you were away weren’t enough?” He counters, balling up the packaging between his hands and tossing it into the brown paper bag. “Me fucking the panties you left on my pillow?”

Your cheeks flush as you bite your lower lip and it’s just the sweetest damn thing.

“Did you give anymore thought to the other thing we were talking about?” He asks you, picking up his cold brew and sipping through the straw. “The Field Training Officer position?”

“Hm.” You respond noncommittedly. “Had a conversation with Anderson before I left Seattle about the program. It would mean changing my shift for a few months so I could fit the course in during the evening time and I’m not sure how much I’d like being a day walker.”

A day walker, it’s what the night shift people call those that make the transition back to regular office hours. It can be a jarring adjustment after you’ve spent so long in the darkness.

John doesn’t think that’s the real issue though. He suspects you’re concerned about how your life is going to change compared to that of the people around you.  Abbot, Faye, him, all work the nightshift and altering the routine will throw you out of sync with the support network you’ve build up over the years. You fear becoming isolated again, that they won’t be able to find time for you.

“Cici.” He says softly, his fingers threading through yours. “My feelings won’t change because you’re working the day shift, we can still do breakfast or dinner, find the sweet spot when we’re not working weekends. Our relationship will adapt, the same way it will with Abbot and Faye, nobody’s going to abandon you because you’re trying something new.”

“It’s just… it’s a big change.” You say quietly, poking at the ice in your drink with the straw.

“Change can be good even if it is a little scary.” He reassures you, his thumb tracing soothing circles along the back of your hand. “I know you’re going to rock this and I promise I will be here to support you. Quizzing you, feeding you, helping you to ‘destress’.”

The edges of your mouth tip up into a smile before you tilt your head towards hm.

“You really think I can do it?” You ask him and John’s palm comes to cradle your face, his thumb ghosting over that tiny scar just at the edge of your right eye.

“Cici.” He says firmly. “I think you can do anything you god damn want to.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[ghelullu]

I have tried to sort my thoughts about Skeletá and mostly failed, but still wanted to talk about it because it’s such an interesting little big album already after only a handful of listens

tl;dr: I like it alot, it has some certified bangers on it, some songs didn’t fully land for me personally, I love the variety and his voice is amazing.

I think what stood out to me the most – apart from the very obvious and super cool 80s vibe going on (80s lovers WIN) – is the sheer variety of songs on it and how most of them did not sound the way I expected them to sound at all: Cenotaph was so much groovier and uplifting than I thought (looking back and knowing it’s about his brother, I feel like I should’ve seen that coming), De Profundis Borealis is less heavy than I thought (and hoped; insert the "I know it's not a black metal song" clip), Marks of the Evil one is just so much etc! And I do mean this as an absolute positive in a time where most successful music does not surprise us often anymore.

I totally applaud and respect him for not doing the easy thing: Making an album that follows directly down Impera’s path sound wise – that would have been safe, considering the commercial and critical success it had. Instead he took some of Impera’s (and Phantomime’s) sound, threw in some things from the old albums and a ton of stuff out of his Very Normal brilliant brain to mix something… well. Different.

It is not an album aimed to please people, it’s not targeted at his „old“ fans, not at his new fans from the last album, not at critics or whatever; it’s not a people pleaser album, in my opinion (I’ve seen people say it’s too „commercial“, gotta disagree; I think they just heard it's more „pop", not understanding how 80s Rock worked), but rather Tobias doing what *he* thinks fits, what he thinks needs to be done, what he thinks would be cool, interesting, fun.

While doing that he’s once again not afraid of things that are bordering on too cringe, too corny, too whatever. We’ve all seen that one Reddit review of Missilia Amori – but one thing about his music I really respect is how he can take stuff that wouldn’t work with other artists, would be painfully cringe, and make it work. Because with him it is (and comes across as such) intentional and well handled, often with a wink; he’s been doing that literally from the beginning, because he, unlike some people on Reddit, is capable of not taking himself and things *so* fucking seriously all the time.

He knows that things, art, music, yes, even Big Serious Metal, can just be fucking FUN. (Plus, have these people never listened to any bit of 80s Rock? Like, really?)

And there is so much going on in this album. Lyrics wise, yes, some absolute gold (the 3rd rider "looking cool" absolutely took me out, though), I won’t even touch on that here, because I haven’t studied them enough. But every song is very different: Different vibe, different themes, different *things* that make them stand out (something I LOVE about his music is how every song has at least 1-2 thingies, special, interesting melodies, intrument bits, vocal moments, whatever, that just scratch the brain right and make you come back again and again).

While there are many callbacks to his previous works (and obviously even way more to other artists; it's once again a loveletter of his to his favourite artists growing up), in my opinion it’s also the least „typical Ghost“ album to date; in a way it’s more a Tobias album, which is fine to me, and fitting, considering how incredibly personal it is – and a fun coincidence with the other Tobias album, Passiflora, having finally blessed our ears earlier this year. I think there are surprisingly many similarities? Obviously he has developed all of his skills enormously since, but… It was fun listening to both of these very personal albums back to back, highly recommended.

Lots of high praise, is it my new fave? It doesn’t beat Prequelle, my #1, at this moment in time, and I don’t think it will, even after multiple listens. It’s an album that definitely requires being listened to at least a dozen times. Many songs on it – on Tobias’ work in general – are absolutely required to be listened to multiple times before you can fully appreciate and connect with it (which is, i may add, a GOOD thing. He puts in so much stuff to discover!).

First of all, for me the ballads didn’t land. And this is mostly a personal preference, I am not a ballads person, they rarely hit for me (Life Eternal taking me out almost immediately was an outlier and to this day the Helvetesfönster – Life Eternal combo is the only music that ever made me bawl my eyes out). Both Guiding Lights (his vocals are so, so good) and Excelsis are objectively fantastic songs and I understand why people love them so much, but especially Excelsis is musically just a bit too much...I don’t have the right word...; the end however is wonderful (and circles nicely back to Life Eternal (and also Respite!))

I would have very, very, VERY much preferred a heavy song instead of one of these two. A Faith, a Mummy Dust, a Twenties, you know, some growls? The heavy riff in Lachryma gave me hope there’d be more in another song, but it’s fine, it’s his baby! I expected De Profundis to be the heavier song, but it turned out softer than i thought, but it’s still super fun and I think it will do a bit of a Watcher in the Sky, where it’s cool on the album and then FUCK live!

Speaking of live, many of these songs will shine live, as the 4 already played prove. The vocals on the album – SO good, so much variety! Sometimes he sounds like Ozzy, sometimes like Phil Collins, sometimes very Phantomime, the high notes but also more lower register, bless him (that was one of my big wishes), just great! – show that he’s experimented with his voice (despite talking shit about it all the time) a lot and that he has much more trust into his abilities to perform them live (with the reduced mask; and he’s already proven that; I cannot stress enough how incredible he sounds live now).

The instrumentals are fantastic, such nice guitar solos, the synths, the keyboard-guitar sex in Umbra is just 👌🏽, but really, they shine in all songs. And you cannot forget the Cowbell, bless him.

My favourite is Lachryma with the heavy guitars and the catchy pop-y chorus, followed by Peacefield (esp live) and Umbra; honorable mention Marks of the Evil one and Missilia Amori, and De Profundis

There is so much to love about this album; how personal it is for him, how much it feels like a big hug (and punch in the gut, followed by another hug tbh and of course some horny) from him to the world. How much growth both as a singer, instrumentalist, producer etc but also in his...presentation of himself and his art he has shown.

He doesn’t hide behind a full latex mask on stage anymore, but he also doesn’t hide his messages behind a mask of 3 layers of satanic lyrics anymore.

It’s in every way such a vulnerable, wonderful work and I’m very grateful he shared this with us

[stellaspectral]

okay i have a request: bayverse!leonardo x fem!reader. the reader has been friends with the turtles for months and during this time she and leonardo have developed a close relationship thanks to their love of reading and the fact that both of them are calm introverts (the reader is much more sweet and in tune with her emotions tough, bay!leo really needs someone like this imo). now leonardo is realizing that what he thought was just friendship is becoming something more, at least on his part, and he doesn't know what to do about it. obviously his brothers notice this change and their way of helping him is to tease him in front of the reader to force either of them to confess (they secretly been shipping them since the beginning and finally their ship is sailing!).

A/N: Hello, anon! I loved writing the dynamic between Leo and the reader, how they’re a lot alike but she has that emotional intelligence that he often lacks. And the brothers’ teasing “encouragement” to get them together was also a fun element to incorporate, even if it’s rough-going at first 🫢

I hope you enjoy! ☺️

Between the Lines (angst/fluff)

💙 Bayverse Leonardo/Female Reader 💙

CWs: Mutual pining, sibling teasing and meddling, brief anger/snapping, emotional vulnerability, confessions, first kiss, happy ending. All characters are aged-up.

The familiar, cool air of the lair wraps around you like a well-loved blanket.

You’re curled up on the worn but comfortable cushions of the couch, a thick hardback open in your lap. Across from you, Leo occupies his usual spot in a patched-up armchair. He’s immersed in an old, slightly battered-looking copy of Miyamoto Musashi’s The Book of Five Rings. He furrows his brow in concentration as he tracks the lines of text.

This is your usual routine, which began not long after you—months ago—literally stumbled into Leo and his brothers’ hidden world. And this comfortable silence you now share has become one of your favorite parts of it. You both found kinship in your introversion. A quiet understanding that doesn’t require constant chatter.

And of course, you’ve bonded over books and love to discuss the stories, the characters, the ideas within them. Sometimes the discussions are deep dives into themes and motivation. Other times they’re just comfortable exchanges about a particularly well-turned phrase or a plot twist neither of you saw coming.

While you’ve grown fond of his brothers’ more eccentric dispositions, Leo’s calm presence is something you enjoy. You appreciate the depth you sense beneath his disciplined exterior, the careful way he observes the world. You, in turn, offer a gentler perspective, a willingness to voice the emotions he usually keeps tightly locked down.

You sometimes catch him watching you when he thinks you’re not looking—like right now. For a moment, his brow smooths out, and there’s a flicker of something unreadable in his blue eyes.

Before his gaze snaps back to his book, brow furrowing once again.

A faint warmth spreads through your chest at the intensity you glimpsed, even if it vanished as quickly as it appeared. You keep your eyes dutifully on your page, though the words blur together. You pretend you didn’t notice, respecting the boundary he clearly erected by whipping his gaze back so sharply. And that’s part of the understanding too: knowing when not to push.

You shift slightly on the cushions, the worn fabric sighing softly beneath you. The sound seems amplified in the quiet. You reread the last paragraph on the page, forcing your focus back to the intricate plot unfolding. And for another minute or two, the silence stretches. You find yourself wanting to bridge it. But again, you relent, convincing yourself not to press.

Your cheeks are warm. This isn’t just the comfortable quiet anymore; your skin tingles, and the air feels like it does before a storm. Again, you attempt to focus on the words in front of you, but you can no longer comprehend them. All you can think about is the definite shift you’ve sensed in Leo—and the precarious question mark hanging in the space between you.

Because lately, the way he looks at you—it feels … different.

The words on the page have become meaningless squiggles, drowned out by the roaring silence and the frantic beat of your own heart against your ribs. Just now, you feel that look again. That focused stare. You try to take a slow, steadying breath, but it hitches halfway. Then you risk another look at Leo—

—and this time, he doesn’t look away immediately.

Instead, his eyes meet yours. And for a beat, you swear you feel the air crackle. There’s a tension in his jaw you’ve learned to recognize as him grappling with something internally. He continues to hold your gaze, not looking away. You swallow, rooted to the spot.

Inevitably, something shatters the moment.

“Ooooh, lookie here! Study buddies getting intense?” Mikey’s voice booms as he skateboards into the main room, executing a wobbly turn.

Leo’s posture goes ramrod straight. Every muscle seems to tense. “It’s called reading, Michelangelo.” He speaks in a clipped, overly formal tone—a sure sign of his discomfort.

Donnie wanders in, tapping away at a tablet. Though his eyes flick between you and Leo with keen interest. “Technically, Mikey’s right. Leo’s bio-feedback readings have shown a slight elevation in heart rate and galvanic skin response when you’re in close proximity.”

You press your lips together, trying not to laugh as you bookmark the page and close your book. Oh boy, you think as Raph enters the room. Here we go. The peace is officially over.

Raph glances from a now distinctly uncomfortable Leo to you, a knowing smirk spreading across his face. “Yeah, ‘reading’. Looks more like our fearless leader is trying to figure out how to use his words for something other than barking orders.” He gives Leo a pointed look.

Leo’s shoulders bunch up even further, and he shoots Raph a glare that could curdle milk. “I was contemplating strategy, Raphael. Something you might benefit from trying occasionally, instead of just charging in.” The deflection is immediate, sharp.

You tuck your feet beneath you on the couch, feeling the tension in the room climbing. “He’s right, guys,” you say softly, trying to inject a note of casualness. “We were just enjoying the quiet.”

“Quiet? Dude, the air was buzzing!” Mikey insists, ditching his board and planting his feet firmly on the floor. “Like, zzzzt! Electric eel quiet!” He makes buzzing noises and wiggles his fingers for emphasis.

“My sensors registered a distinct increase in localized atmospheric ions,” Donnie says, “that are consistent with elevated emotional states. Fascinating, really.” He taps his screen again. “Further analysis pending.”

Leo makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “Donnie,” he grits out.

Raph folds his arms over his plastron, that knowing smirk still firmly in place. “Aw, relax, Leo. Nobody’s judging.” He pauses, letting the implication hang heavy. “Much.” He winks at you, making you blush. “Just sayin’, Leo. Maybe Musashi ain’t the only thing holdin’ your attention these days.”

“Shut up, Raph,” Leo snaps, his gaze darting towards you, checking your reaction.

“Aw, is Leo getting flustered?” Mikey teases, grinning as he looks at you. “You finally break through that super-serious shell of his?”

Heat floods your face, matching the flush you see creeping up Leo’s neck.

You manage a small, slightly shaky laugh. “You guys are relentless,” you say, aiming for amused rather than mortified. You gesture vaguely towards the books resting nearby. “There’s no ‘shell breaking’ going on. We were just reading.”

Leo pushes himself abruptly out of the chair, his movements stiff and jerky. He places The Book of Five Rings down on the armrest with more force than necessary. “Enough, Mikey,” he bites out, his voice low and tight with warning. He refuses to look directly at you, his gaze fixed somewhere over Mikey’s shoulder, his jaw clenched tight.

“Actually,” Donnie begins, adjusting his glasses, “the ‘shell’ metaphor is interesting. Because psychologically, prolonged exposure to a non-threatening, emotionally open individual can foster increased vulnerability and trust in subjects typically exhibiting guarded behavior. My preliminary data correlates with a significant decrease in Leo’s baseline stress markers when in your presence, contrasted with—”

Raph snorts, cutting Donnie off. “See? Even Donnie agrees you’re gettin’ soft, Leo.” He grins wider, thoroughly enjoying the leader’s discomfort. “Must be all that … quiet reading.”

“Is Leo gonna start writing poetry now?” Mikey says, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet, completely oblivious to Leo’s darkening expression—or perhaps relishing it far too much. “Ooh! Or maybe singing love songs?” He strikes a dramatic pose, hand over his heart.

“That’s enough!” Leo finally snaps. His voice cracks through the room like a whip, sharp enough to make even Mikey flinch back a step.

The playful teasing evaporates instantly. For a fraction of a second, Leo’s furious gaze lands on you. You see a flash of something raw and conflicted—Panic? Frustration? Regret?—before he wrenches his eyes away and pivots on his heel. “I’m going to train.”

Before he can go far, Raph grabs his arm. “Leo, wait. We didn’t mean—”

“Let me go.” Leo shakes off Raph’s hand, his voice low, strained. His gaze flits momentarily back to you, and the raw emotion you glimpsed earlier—that maelstrom of panic and frustration—is starkly visible before he clamps down on it again, hardening his expression.

Raph lets out a heavy sigh, rubbing the back of his neck. The smirk is long gone, replaced by a frown of genuine concern mixed with self-reproach. “Leo, we’re sorry. Didn’t mean to push ya like that. We got kinda … carried away.” He casts an apologetic glance at you as well.

Mikey looks up, nodding quickly. “Yeah, dude. Sorry. We were just messing around. Because you know, the two of you …” He gestures vaguely between Leo and you, opens his mouth to say something—before wincing slightly, thinking better of finishing that train of thought.

Leo’s about to throw some barbs at his youngest brother when you stand abruptly and go over to him. “It’s okay,” you say, trying to calm him. “They’re just being—”

“Annoying?” Leo bites out. “Intrusive?”

“Accurate,” Donnie supplies, leveling a look directly at Leo.

“Seriously,” Raph says. “We see how you get all quiet and weird—well, quieter and weirder—when she’s around. So just spit it out already.”

He glares at Raph. “There’s nothing to ‘spit out.’ Unlike some people, I don’t feel the need to broadcast every fleeting thought or impulse that crashes through my head.” The insult is sharp, aimed squarely at his hot-headed brother.

Mikey winces again, glancing between his two oldest brothers nervously.

Raph raises his hands in a placating gesture. “Whoa, easy, Leo. Just sayin’—”

“Saying what, exactly?” Leo cuts him off, his control fraying. “That I enjoy quiet companionship? That I value having someone around who … who understands me?” His eyes flicker briefly, almost involuntarily, towards you again.

Your cheeks grow warm once more. But before Leo can say anything else, you quickly move forward, laying a hand gently on his arm. “Please, Leo,” you murmur, your voice soft but clear. “It’s okay. Really.”

He freezes at your touch. His muscles remain rigid beneath your hand, taut as bowstrings. But the furious energy seems to stall, caught short by your intervention. He looks down at your hand resting on his arm, his plastron rising and falling with agitated breaths. Then, slowly, he lifts his gaze to your face.

The anger in his eyes vanishes, momentarily overwhelmed by that conflicted look again. His vulnerability warring fiercely with his ingrained need for composure. And for a fleeting second, he looks utterly lost.

Exposed.

Raph watches the silent exchange between you and Leo, his own expression softening considerably. He nudges Mikey. “C’mon, guys,” Raph says quietly. “Let’s, uh … Let’s give ‘em some space.”

Mikey nods, looking immensely relieved to escape the line of fire. “Yeah! Space! Totally! Good idea, Raph!” He backs away towards the tunnels.

Donnie again looks between the two of you, before following Mikey out of the lair. Raph joins them soon after, leaving the room to fall quiet again.

It’s heavy, thick with everything that was just said.

And everything that wasn’t.

Leo hasn’t moved. He’s still looking at you, your hand still resting on his arm. The tension hasn’t fully left him, but the volatile anger has receded. Slowly, deliberately, he covers your hand with his own for a second—before pulling away. It’s not a rejection so much as a gathering of courage.

He turns away slightly, running a hand over his face, his gaze fixed on the floor. “I … apologize,” he says, the word strained. “For their behavior. And … for my reaction. It was inappropriate.”

“It’s okay,” you say softly. “Brothers tease. It happens.”

He shakes his head. He still won’t look directly at you, focusing instead on the worn pattern of the rug. “No. It’s not just teasing.” He pauses, his shoulders tensing as if bracing for impact. “They weren’t entirely … wrong.”

Your breath catches in your throat. You wait, hardly daring to breathe, as he visibly struggles with himself. His fists clench and unclench at his sides. He takes a deep, unsteady breath, the kind you’ve seen him take before facing a daunting opponent.

Finally, he turns back to face you. His eyes meet yours, and the turbulent emotions beneath shatter his usual discipline. The raw vulnerability you glimpsed earlier is fully present now, unguarded and intense.

“Donnie’s observations,” he begins, his voice rough, stumbling slightly over the words. “And Raph’s … accusations.” He swallows hard, his gaze unwavering now, locked onto yours. “While crudely delivered, they hold a measure of truth.”

He takes another breath, forcing the next words out. “My focus—it has been compromised lately. When you are here.” He gestures vaguely towards the couch, towards the shared space, towards you. “This quiet companionship, as I called it. It’s become … significant. To me.”

He pauses again, the silence stretching, amplifying the frantic beat of your own heart. You can see the effort it’s costing him, the sheer force of will required to push past years of ingrained stoicism and emotional suppression.

“I find your presence centering,” he continues, the formality of his words contrasting with the emotion in his eyes. “And distracting. Simultaneously.” A faint, self-deprecating grimace touches his lips before vanishing. “My thoughts deviate from strategy. My focus … shifts.”

He looks down briefly, then meets your gaze again, his own filled with a hesitant, almost uncertain intensity. “What I mean to say,” he finally manages, the words quiet but clear in the heavy silence, “is that my feelings for you extend beyond friendship.”

He doesn’t say more. He simply stands there, stiff as a board, his jaw clenched. As if preparing for a blow after having laid his carefully guarded heart bare. His eyes, usually so calm and assessing, are wide, searching yours, filled with a potent mixture of apprehension and hope.

You can only stare, the echo of Leo’s words reverberating in the space between you. It’s the confirmation of the subtle shift you’d sensed, the answer to the unspoken question that had been tightening your own chest for weeks. But hearing it spoken aloud by him causes a warmth to bloom inside you, chasing away the anxiety that has plagued you for so long.

You see the tight set of his shoulders, the way his hands are still loosely fisted at his sides as if he’s bracing for rejection. For the possibility that he’d misread everything, that he’d shattered the comfortable dynamic you share for nothing. You take a hesitant step closer, closing the small distance between you.

Shoving down your own introverted caution. Because he deserves the same honesty he just offered you.

“Leo,” you breathe, your voice barely a whisper.

You lift a hand, not quite touching him yet, letting it hover in the charged air between you. “That quiet companionship …” you begin, echoing his earlier words, your voice gaining a little strength. “It’s … significant for me, too.”

Relief flashes across his face, but he remains still. Waiting.

“I thought … I thought maybe I was imagining things,” you admit, a wobbly laugh escaping you. “The way you looked at me sometimes. The way it felt just sitting here. Reading.” You finally meet his gaze fully, letting him see the emotion swimming in your own eyes. “It wasn’t just comfortable silence anymore, was it?”

He shakes his head mutely, his throat working as he swallows.

“My focus hasn’t exactly been stellar either,” you confess, a small smile touching your lips. “These last few weeks, maybe longer. Trying to read when all I can really think about is …” You trail off, suddenly finding it hard to say the words, your own vulnerability rising to the surface.

You take another step, finally closing the gap. Your hand finds his arm again, resting gently on firm muscle. This time, he doesn’t pull away. Instead, his own hand covers yours almost instantly, his grip surprisingly gentle but firm, anchoring you.

“Leo,” you say again, your voice steadier now. “My feelings for you … they extend beyond friendship, too.” You take a deep breath, the words tumbling out in a rush of relieved honesty. “A lot further. I …” You swallow. “I love you.”

The admission hangs in the air, raw and true.

For a heartbeat, Leo just stares at you, his eyes searching yours as if trying to absorb the reality of your words. Then, the tension visibly drains out of him. His shoulders slump in relief, his posture relaxing. His grip on your hand tightens possessively. A slow, tentative smile—one that reaches his eyes—transforms his face, erasing the lines of worry.

It makes your heart do a ridiculous flip.

“You …” he starts, his voice thick with emotion, almost rough. He clears his throat. “You do?”

You nod, unable to speak past the lump in your throat, your smile mirroring his. Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes. Not from sadness, but from overwhelming relief and happiness.

He raises his other hand, his fingers brushing gently against your cheek. The contact sends shivers down your spine. He seems momentarily lost for words, the disciplined leader grappling with an emotion far more complex than any battle strategy.

“I …” He shakes his head slightly, that small smile lingering. “I hoped. But I wasn’t sure.” He leans closer, gently cupping your face. “I love you too,” he murmurs, his breath warm against your skin.

The world seems to narrow down to just the two of you. Leo’s thumb strokes gently over the back of your hand. His other hand remains cupped against your face, his touch feather-light but possessive. His gaze flickers down to your lips, then back up to meet your eyes. You give the slightest nod, a silent permission that sends another wave of warmth flooding through you.

He leans in slowly, deliberately, giving you every chance to pull away, true to his nature. But you don’t move. You meet him halfway, rising on your toes. The space between you disappears. His lips meet yours, tentative at first. His lips are surprisingly soft against yours, moving with a hesitant tenderness that makes your heart ache in the best possible way.

You sigh softly into the kiss, your free hand coming up to rest against his plastron, feeling the steady, strong beat of his heart beneath your palm. It’s racing almost as fast as your own. He deepens the kiss slightly, his hand tightening its hold on yours. It feels like coming home, like finding a piece of yourself you hadn’t realized was missing.

When he finally pulls back, it’s only by a fraction, his forehead resting against yours. His eyes remain closed for a moment, as if savoring the connection. You keep yours shut for a few moments, too.

“Wow,” you murmur, your eyes fluttering open.

An unguarded smile touches his lips again. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Wow.” He gently brushes a stray strand of hair from your face.

He takes your other hand, holding both securely in his grasp. He looks down at your joined hands, then back up at you, his expression serene, resolute. The vulnerability is still there, but tempered now with confidence, with the quiet joy of reciprocated feeling.

“So,” he says after a few moments, a hint of his usual pragmatic nature returning, though softened around the edges. “Reading might be … slightly more challenging from now on.”

A laugh bubbles up from your chest, light and happy. “Might be,” you agree. “But I think … I think I’m okay with that.”

He smiles—a proper, heart-stopping smile that lights up his face. He leans down and presses a brief, sweet kiss to your forehead.

Your respective stories have taken a turn neither of you fully anticipated. But it is a chapter you were both eager to finally write.

Together.

[ammoknightsofficial]

Translating the Dev's Headcanon Spread for Kyle's Family

Alright, so, I've gotten my hands on the Monster Hunter Stories 2 Art Book! That means it's time to translate This Image, piece by piece! The text on this is quite small, and the halftones can interfere with legibility at times, but I managed, for the most part. I'll be including notes for each section, particularly anything that may seem like an odd or interesting choice, for Maximum Transparency!

Everything's Under the Cut!! Have fun!

母：優しく穏やかな女性 // The Mother of The Family. A Loving, Gentle, and Quiet Woman.

I've chosen to write this in full sentences, rather than the original format, since that feels easier to communicate. You may notice that "Gentle" is both Green and Blue, and that's because 優しく and 穏やかな both communicate a kind of Gentleness, with 優しく being more like "Tender" and 穏やかな being more like "Calm".

カイルがまだ幼い頃に病にかかりこの世を去ってしまう // She Fell Ill when Kyle was Very Young. She never Recovered, and Passed Away when he was still just a Child.

Before I Get Into Translation Notes - I Have Some Thoughts.

I'm going to be fully transparent - this part is one of the main reasons I got the book. I had my suspicions that she was terminally ill and died when he was young, but I didn't want to make any absolute statements until I could properly translate this passage. I had basically no doubts about it, though - this particular scene here is absolutely striking, and communicates what's going on extremely well even if you can't read it. Kyle's too young to understand what's going on. He thinks a flower will make her feel better. Meanwhile, you have the second youngest brother that's just barely old enough to know, and in that horrible point where he understands what's happening, but doesn't know what to do or how to handle it. Then there's the middle child, with enough emotional intelligence to know that comforting the second youngest and not dissuading Kyle's - the youngest of them all - attempts to help is the absolute best course of action here, to keep everyone strong while their mother (tries, and fails to) fight(s) her Terminal Illness. It's really amazing character work, all in one simple image.

This explains a lot about Kyle's actions during the course of the story. It's kind of difficult for a lot of people to understand why he reacts the way he does to his father getting injured, but with the context that he watched his mom die of a Terminal Illness when he was practically just a baby, and was powerless to do anything about it... It really makes sense, doesn't it? On a personal level, I mean. It also puts this post-game line into some new perspective...

"I'm not putting on a brave face" is such particular wording, and such a particular reassurance to give. He's had to before, and the way he's saying this almost implies - to me, at least - that maybe the player character is intended to, perhaps, know about that bit of history. That's all Speculation, though - I just find it an incredibly interesting string of implications.

As for Translation Notes...

The main thing that may seem out of place is the fact that "She never Recovered" is in both Red and Green. That's actually nothing special, it's just the fact that her illness and her death are being linked together in this passage. She died because of her illness - not because she got, I don't know, eaten by a dragon or something later, in some odd unrelated event. She was Terminally Ill, emphasis on Terminal.

カイル家族イメージ　―　作中には出てこない設定イマージです // Headcanons about Kyle's Family - These are Characters + Character-Establishing Headcanons that Do Not Appear in the Story.

Apologies for putting the Document Title all the way down here. I wanted to talk about Kyle's mom first, lol. I've already explained my reasoning for translating イメージ as Headcanon. I don't think anything else is all that noteworthy.

A Chart Depicting the Developers' Ideas for What the (Living Members of the) Family Looks Like. In Birth Order, we have...

長男：真面目・優等生　―　23年

First-Born: Serious + An Honor Student - 23 Y.O.

次男：自信家・明るい　―　21年

Second-Born: Self-Confident + Cheerful - 21 Y.O.

三男：優しい・賢い　―　18年

Third-Born: Kind + Wise - 18 Y.O.

四男：勝気・負けず嫌い　―　16年

Fourth-Born: Determined + Hates Losing - 16 Y.O.

Me, personally, I think the birth order sounds right, but I'm not a huge fan of how young everyone is. The Fourth-Born looks 19-21 to me, the Third-Born looks in their mid-20s, so on and so forth. But that's partially just the fact that I, myself, am currently in my 20s, and generally really prefer writing + drawing adults. Straight up, I clocked Kyle as being at least 18 when I was doing my playthrough of the game, but this image seems to imply he's about 15. Extremely weird thought to me. I will personally continue writing him as an adult, and his siblings as generally way older than the Devs are estimating. That has no bearing on this piece of Dubious-Canon, however, just something I wanted to mention as a bit of an oddity to me.

Also, the second Kanji in the Birth Orders actually specifies that they're all sons (男), but I'm using the Gender Neutral forms of the Birth Order terms just because I find that more comfortable and less clunky, personally. No other reason.

And, no, I don't really know what that bit of handwriting next to the Third-Born's head is. I also currently cannot fully decipher what this passage (originally below the Headcanon Spread) means, though that's likely just a Skill Issue.

If I figure it out, I'll likely Reblog this Post with an Update, but for now, I think I've covered what I can.

Thanks for Reading!! Hopefully you found this interesting, and maybe you found it useful!! The print on this spread was really, really small, and at times quite frustrating to decipher - hell, I just straight up gave up on the above passage - so any comments or compliments in the notes will be appreciated!!

[enlightenedfeline]

Building a character's backstory:

Building a character's backstory can be overwhelming, so here are some tips I use to build my character's backstory, all explained briefly.

If you're building a backstory, that means you've probably already got a character in mind, even if it's a blurry image, it's still an image. Think, what are this character's most defining traits?

You will want to find at least 3 negative traits, and at least three positive traits, do any of the negative and positive traits seem connected? For example, a kind-hearted character who's a people pleaser, maybe a paranoid character who can read people well. It's not uncommon that during our upbringing we develop traits in the two extremes, because as kids we take everything literally, including the messages we internalize.

However, don't underestimate the messages we internalize during our teenage years, because those can be more harmful to our behavior as adults.

Now that you've hopefully connected some of your traits, try tying them to events that could've caused them, this will be the most difficult step and will require a lot of your good brain juices, so make sure to sit down and really take your time to think. Try not to keep in mind that to internalize a message so deeply that it affects our behavior, we: 1- Have to hear it/say it to ourselves a lot. 2- Have to learn it through a traumatic/scarring event.

That's a bit vague, so let's elaborate, using a character of mine as an example. You have Leonardo, who, throughout his upbringing, was told that boys can't play with dolls, and dolls are for girls. Throughout his teenage years, the distinction between girl-things and boy-things becomes much clearer to him, and from the simple message he was told throughout his childhood, he internalizes that certain things are for girls and certain things are for boys. Dresses, skirts, floral perfumes, are for girls, pants, suits, cologne, are for boys.

This is a message he was explicitly told and explicitly told himself, so this is an example of a message he heard/said a lot, being internalized when he's an adult.

Now we continue with Leonardo, one day he's shopping with his father and older brother, the building erupts into flames, and without thinking his father grabs his older brother and runs away without looking back.

This is an example of a scarring event creating a message, the message being that his dad cares more about his brother. The message is not explicitly stated, but it's still internalized.

Have your fun playing around with messages and how they're internalized, be creative because everyone's past is different, and the best part of backstory building is that you can heal your own wounds through your character.

The last important detail of building a backstory is order, when did things happen? Create a timeline of important (good or bad) events that shaped your character, try to think about how these events could've impacted each other. This is not the most difficult part, but it is the most detailed one.

And finally, don't think or worry about other people's judgement, at the end of the day it's your story, and your character.

Maybe some of this advice will help, maybe it won't, either way, I hope this feline has enlightened you!

[batsplat]

hi bat, do you have any thoughts on how this motogp season is unfolding? (i also want to say that after marc's crash i religiously read any of your old posts mentioning qatar isn't as bad of a track for him to calm myself down and thank you for being right<3)

did i say that?? i mean fwiw for my own purposes i'm a big fan of track-specific performance metrics because i just like how pronounced a rider/bike profile there is in motogp, it's such a stats-friendly thing where it's really fun to dig into (if you're a fucking loser). so i do have stuff on how i think each track would lean in a 'all other things being equal, they finish valencia exactly tied in the points' season, and i had qatar soft-leaning pecco. ig we'll never really know what might have been without the quali crash but... incidentally i had jerez as a medium-lean pecco so if that's also a no-go then i think at a certain point you can quite safely call it. marc was never dreadful in qatar because he's not dreadful anywhere, but even controlling for honda qatar performances it's defo not one of his strongest tracks

anyway. i only got this ask after i'd answered the other one after which it sat in my drafts forever, which you can consult for general motogp takes. so i was like. idk what to say. but i realise i DO have a topic i feel ready to get on my soapbox about. i wish to give my pedro acosta rant

i have been doing my best to avoid motogp discourse but sometimes one Hears things. and i have Heard certain quarters wanting a reevaluation of acosta in light of his shaky start of the season. the argument, so it goes, is that he has continued crashing a lot in his sophomore season, that if he were really as good as everyone said he was by now he'd be finishing highly up despite the problems with his equipment, that vinales has shown you can be fast with that bike, that [insert other rider of your choice] wasn't doing this at this stage of their career. that people have overhyped acosta, that he might be good but won't end up as good as [insert rider]. and i wish to say. this is all rubbish. will he be as good as [insert rider]? will he win twenty titles? idk. am i reevaluating him based on ANYTHING i have seen this year? no. we still do not know how good this guy will ultimately prove to be. we have all the signs there to suggest he has the potential to be one of those truly s-tier riders, the doohan/valentino/casey/marc tier, or 'at least' an alien-level talent. we do not know what trajectory he will follow, maybe he will end up being significantly worse than that. maybe he will be That Guy. we don't know

the thing about the aliens is that by year two At The Latest in their premier class careers, they were all on title-winning machinery. four out of five were on machinery capable of winning the championship in year one, with the only exception being casey (and 3/5 were in the team what won the title). i kinda feel like 500cc is holistically different enough from motogp bikes we should maybe exclude valentino from some of this conversation, like you kinda get the vibe a lot of his developmental process was 'learning to trust the bike won't kill him'. with that proviso, acosta's rookie season did just have the vibe of what would happen if you put any of the aliens on non-title winning machinery. he got some remarkable results like for instance a podium in his second race. from the limited evidence of his pre motogp career, i think it's fair to say he's not a single lap specialist, but he's shown plenty of evidence of genuine qualifying pace including that mildly fugazi motegi pole (fwiw mr rossi did not get a pole in his first premier class season At All despite finishing second in the championship). he crashed a lot. which, yes, that'll happen when you're a rookie. to his credit, marc mostly managed to keep that stuff out of races - but he was also on a truly excellent, well-developed, easily rideable bike that he neither had to nor was motivated to override to get good results. when the second half of your season is a defensive title charge, you're less likely to crash that shit than when straining for an unlikely result that feels more important than your overall championship position

i basically think all pedro vs marc comparisons are stupid because you straight up do not know how they would've handled each other's respective situations. i do however think there is a rookie season acosta's does resemble

now acosta's rookie season was better than this, he was considerably more loved by his factory than this particular rider was, but the vibe is similar. casey got pole for his second race, almost secured a win in his third, then did a whole lot of crashing - probably at least in significant part because michelin (shakes fist) was running experiments on him and because he did not have a competent crew chief to guide him. his season kinda semi unravelled post le mans ... he was fighting in the lead group when crashing in mugello, he led from the start (twice, cf the red flag) in catalunya and crashed after losing the lead to valentino, he fought dani in assen and valentino in donington, he fucked up his body at the sachsenring, and after that it was kinda a grind. at estoril, he not only crashed himself out but also injured sete badly enough to rule him out of the last race at valencia. then, casey gets an offer from ducati, a seat he was the second choice for and could've easily gone to someone else. the ducati was very fast but also very capricious - and was paired with the bridgestone tyres that have a considerably better front end feel than the michelins, which had been the primary reason for all those rookie season crashes

(a reminder of how quickly things can change lol - obviously casey did not have a single race crash in 2007 and had his first race crash on a ducati at .... .................... well. you know. anyway the point is i think in retrospect we can all agree casey was a pretty decent rider)

now, let us imagine for a moment a world in which casey does not get that deal and instead stays with lcr honda, where he gets a factory-supported-but-not-quite bike on shitty michelins. what do you think his results look like on that ?? you think he would have stopped crashing?? i'm not saying these situations are completely comparable - acosta's stocks are considerably higher than alt!casey's would've been, acosta knows manufacturers will still want to have him, he's got more job security, he's also a somewhat more sanguine character than casey (who in this timeline probably would've stabbed a michelin engineer) (also i suppose in this timeline maybe you wouldn't get the single tyre rule, or indeed the current ducati situation - single most influential rider market move this century?) and is more of a bratty jorge type than a neurotic headcase casey type. but the general point is, him having very febrile results currently does not in and of itself tell us shit about his ultimate potential. it tells us that the ktm project is a mess

'aha!' you say. 'but what about vinales at qatar! the fact that acosta's being so summarily outperformed by someone in his stable shows he's not that guy!' no i'm sorry. no. vinales does this sometimes. idc if it's a new bike, this can happen, he's extremely talented in his own right and will just randomly receive unholy powers on a random weekend. (i think in retrospect given his super fast adaptation to yamaha and his qatar weekend with ktm, maybe aprilia really wasn't suited to him and that slowed down the adaptation process.) it also tells me less than nothing that acosta hasn't asserted himself against his fellow factory riders early in the season. this can happen to anyone, even the very best. was valentino washed when this happened against a bald rookie (who also got pole in all three of those races mind u)

was casey washed when this happened against hayden, who i think everyone would agree was not that impressive a force anymore post 2006

was marc washed when this happened, at a time where again i think it's fair to say dani was past his best and wasn't really an alien calibre rider anymore

no!! obviously not!! and none of rookie jorge, post 2006 hayden or washed dani are a more frightening prospect than vinales who will occasionally be possessed by a creature from the great beyond! hell, fabio's 2021 title season started with a race vinales won and fabio was fifth in. it happens! everyone gets vinales'd now and again! keeps you humble! that guy could've been a motogp champion if he weren't. y'know. like he's good!

acosta is dealing with three very highly rated riders - nobody on the s tier, sure, but riders who have occasionally flirted with the a tier! acosta is young and annoyed and is having to deal with the kind of significant frustration that, again, it's worth pointing out none of the aliens did in their sophomore season - aka 'the manufacturer you wanted to win a title with being bankrupt' - and his start of the season has been spotty. if we reach valencia and he's trailing vinales in the championship, then please write in and we can collectively clown what i've written in this post. but we are four rounds in

this current situation we've got in motogp where probably elite level riders are locked out of title contending machinery for seasons on end is... kinda unprecedented in the modern era and extremely frustrating ?? but this is partly why you get such reactionary takes about this guy that just do not stack up! idk if he's going to be the next valentino rossi or the next marc marquez, but ik that with the correct machinery he MIGHT be. i hope he gets that machinery so we can see! crucially he showed enough in his rookie season that i have no doubt the potential is there, and this is not a take i will reevaluate after a few crashes. just be happy the aliens were spared so unserious an organisation as 'kay tee em' and move on, my god

[hallaheart]

i have been summoned so I'll try and articulate some advice! i don't think of myself as a pro by any means, but here's a few tips I have for running NPCs -

your party always cares the most about what their characters are doing, no matter how interesting an NPC is or how good the information they might have is, so the best NPCs should highlight, complement, or foil the players in some way, good or bad. I try to keep this in mind when thinking up interactions--what is it that most baits my players into engaging with these people?

It's important that NPCs have their own ideas, opinions, and values, and it can be interesting when these directly conflict with the party's. They can and should disagree and offer conflicting viewpoints sometimes, or bring insight or expertise the players might miss. If you think of nothing else for an NPC, just ask the question - what does Bob the NPC think of what the players are doing right now when they approach? If they're all heavily armored and clad in skulls and horsehair, is Bob intimidated? Or has he been a tavern keep for years and seen dozens of adventurers and snidely think these ones look a little wet around the ears?

When it comes to important story NPCs who will be with the party for a while, I have a loose, general plan at the start of their ultimate motivations and a general personality trait or two (are they chatty, generous, distrustful, snobby?) Then I let the finer details of their character flesh in as characters interact with them, rather than trying to know them well at the start. Your characters don't know the person well at the start usually, so them changing a little as the characters get to know them makes sense and feels rewarding. This also lets you be really responsive to the players' energy--if you make an NPC that the players really distrust when you didn't expect that, it can create some fun opportunities where the NPC has to ingratiate themselves to the players.

For one-off NPCs I usually just come into an encounter with an idea of one or two main character traits, and I try to keep in mind where the PCs encounter them. Are they in a tiny farming town? A wealthy port town? This might change the 'type' of personality they will run into, or the 'type' of personality that stands out in the crowd of that location. For random NPCs I like to draft a personality trait, profession, and one random detail about their life--for example, the party meets a chatty farmer who has an extreme affection for their prizewinning pig. You can kind of jot down little ideas for traits and professions so you don't have to come up with them totally on the fly. This way you have kind of one thing to lean on if they ask about the NPCs personal life. I have a short list of these traits I keep handy to put together if I need to improvise.

For dialogue I think where a character is from really influences this a lot. A well-trained, scholarly old wizard will speak to the party very differently than a poor street urchin hocking stolen jewelry on the street, so this I think is one of the easiest ways to 'flavor' an NPC--think of where they are from and how that influences them. And it also helps create interesting contrasts between groups of NPCs--having the scholarly wizard and the streetwise urchin together really contrasts and highlights them against each other and the party.

I hope that helps, I know it's more 'general' advice but I think of NPCs like 'sketches' - you don't have to over-plan to have an idea of this character, but having a rough sketch still allows you to develop this character further if they become integral to the story or recurring in some way, and especially if you think about basic relationships it can auto-populate some other NPCs for you as well -- for example, maybe the chatty farmer's wife can't stand that prizewinning pig.

i love running RPGs but I think I'm actually pretty bad at NPC roleplay. anyone have resources, tips, or tricks on how to inhabit interesting NPCs and give players engaging ways to interact with them?

In particular, I feel like my dialogue is a little stilted, and I basically just end up asking players questions, which is okay, but could be better imo

[egophiliac]

What do you like about the Diasomnia boys if I may ask?

I always love hearing about the different reasons people enjoy characters.

I mean, c'mon. he has split custody over Sebek okay

also, Lilia in particular has maybe the best timeskip character development of all time

[feng-huli]

Amusingly, I did actually put together my own ratings based on @welcometothejianghu's absolutely fantastic eunuch rating system quite a few months ago, but never got around to posting it. I'd be happy to go through them and explain my line of thinking, as well as how it may differ from my current thoughts. My understanding of these characters is constantly shifting and developing, after all! 😸

I will preface by saying that for the "Fuckable" category, I based my ratings mainly on the ease with which I can find potential to write and/or draw smut of the eunuchs.

Jin Xuan

Complex: There is so much ambiguity in his character. To what degree does he lie? Where is the balancing point of his split loyalties? How much he regret what he did? The more I think about him, the more questions I have, and he's probably my brain's favorite character to chew on.

Loyalty: "Who does anything with all of his heart?" (ch. 371) I personally believe he has a sentimental heart, but that the cold practicality of his mind dissuades him from following it fully. He may have a loyalty that he feels deeply, but that doesn't stop him from taking a course of action that goes against it.

Schemesy: I don't remember why I only rated him at an eight for this category. Perhaps it's because for all his plotting and planning, there are many times he doesn't follow through. It could speak to his carefulness, or it could speak to his lack of commitment. The times he takes the most action tend to be when things don't go according to his expectations.

Style: Impeccable, I love his design. Of the Five Eunuchs' official purple python robes, I think Jin Xuan's has the most balance and aesthetic appeal. Then, with his informal outfit, the combination of icy blue and deep purple is truly excellent. His white hair is beautiful, and his eyebrows are a unique and striking feature.

Fuckable: Whether it's a tender time in bed with his emperor, or a cold touching session with Jin Yan, I've found plenty of smut potential with him.

BIIIIIXIAAAAA: Jin Xuan says bixia the most out of any of this generation of the Five Eunuchs (though he surely doesn't beat his shifu). He isn't necessarily a wailer, but the way he says it still conveys his concern and care for his emperor, his life's companion.

Jin Yan

Complex: I'd rated him at a four, but he should probably be bumped up to a five or six. Sure, his desires are fairly simple: attention, a higher position, wealth, survival. There's something paradoxical about him, though, and he wears a facade that hides quite a bit of his true self.

Loyalty: On one level, he is very self-interested, so I can't exactly call him loyal, but he serves those he allies with very well. On the other hand, with everything he does for his allies, especially Jin Xuan, it doesn't seem suitable to call him disloyal. Perhaps I'd rate him at a five, for the paradox.

Schemesy: He is incredibly schemesy. Granted, he's mostly involved in other people's schemes, but he does what he can to stir things up with his words.

Style: Fantastic. I love how his official robes are a shade of mulberry that sets him apart from the other eunuchs, which goes well with how he's the only one who didn't have Zhuo Qing as his shifu. His casual look is a lot of fun, especially with the wing-like silver hair ornaments.

Fuckable: I could probably write smut between him and almost any character in the show. I ship him with over twelve characters, two swords, and ice.

BIIIIIXIAAAAA: He's more of a shengshang (圣上） person when he does speak to his emperor, and doesn't seem all that concerned about His Majesty's well-being.

Jin Xian

Complex: He doesn't have many desires, besides keeping those he loves safe, doing his duties, and traveling the martial arts wold. The complexity comes in how those few desires conflict.

Loyalty: Loyalty is quite possibly his greatest trait. He is willing to risk everything for his silly shidi.

Schemesy: He may not be inclined towards involving himself in schemes, but he has enough proximity to them that I daresay he deserves a couple points, especially with how he assists Xiao Se.

Style: His official look is quite magnificent, though that's not where he truly shines. The wintery green robes, the green sword, the green gloves... truly, a glorious design! 💚

Fuckable: Personally, I got a very ace vibe from him in the show, and there's dialogue in the novel that suggests he's sex-repulsed: "Monk, even though you managed to recreate the beauty of the eight demoness, I've been a eunuch for more than thirty years. In my eyes, these are nothing more than chunks of flesh and blood. Makes me retch just looking at them..." (ch. 15) At least for me, writing smut in which he's a willing and/or direct participant would be very unlikely.

BIIIIIXIAAAAA: Like Jin Yan, he's more inclined towards calling his emperor shengshang. Nevertheless, I do think I should have given him at least a three, because he does care about keeping his emperor alive.

Jin Yu

Complex: If a certain theory of mine is true, I'd probably put him at a ten. As it stands, I do think there's more to him than the upright scholar he presents himself as.

Loyalty: There is no denying his loyalty to his prince. He possibly believes in Bai Wang more than anyone.

Schemesy: He probably deserves to be rated at least a five. While he plays a much more reserved and mild game, he is still trying to get Bai Wang on the throne.

Style: His casual look is really growing on me. The robes have a nice texture, and I like the gold against the purple. His official robes are decent, thought the elements feel less balanced than Jin Xuan's. Even so, he probably deserves another point or two.

Fuckable: Preoccupied as Jin Yu likely is with reading most of the time, there is certainly some good smut potential to be found between him and Yan Zhantian. The contrast between their temperaments is a lot of fun, and the possible implications of Yan Zhantian's wrathful power is interesting to explore.

BIIIIIXIAAAAA: I can't get much of a read on his relationship to His Majesty, since they're barely in the same scene.

Jin Wei

Complex: Admittedly, I might have overthought his simplicity to be more complex than it is. He does have quite a bit of range between sweet and fearsome, and I think he was affected the most by his shifu's passing. Still, I'd probably put him at a five.

Loyalty: He is willing to risk death to fulfill his shifu's wish.

Schemesy: I don't think he has much vision when it comes to his goals, but he has some involvement in schemes.

Style: His official robe's design is very solid, and his casual look is lovely.

Fuckable: He does have a very interesting sword and a lot of repression.

BIIIIIXIAAAAA: On the one hand, he takes his job very seriously. On the other hand, attempted regicide. Plus, he's also more of a shengshang person.

I love talking about the Five Eunuchs, and I'm glad I got this opportunity! 😺 This really is a fun format. Thanks for reading!

Greetings, esteemed eunuch-rater! I ask thee: how would you rate each of the five tboy eunuchs individually?

I'm afraid I would absolutely need to rewatch those Youths before giving any kind of accurate rating on that, on account of how it has been Quite Some Time since I saw the show (and I'm 100% sure I did not wholly follow what everyone's deal was in the first place).

However, I may not even have to opine, because I feel almost certain @eunuch-enjoyer5 has done this already somewhere! I can't find the post, though. Did I dream it? Either way, though, I'm going to pass the question over to him, because his enjoyment of Those Particular Eunuchs outshines mine by far.

[cowboy-robooty]

im not going to lie i have an illuminati type theory that fanfiction has gotten so fucking bad recently as yet another consequence of the pandemic

[qoldenskies]

cc!leo is so weird and fun to write because i have to capture the spectrum of him impossibly gentle and caring, goofy and nonchalant to make everyone feel better, and INSANELY invested in the prospect of brutally murdering someone all at the same time and writing ch23 really illuminates that for me lmao. like the characters just kind of take me places that i dont expect and apparently the answer to "what happens when you strip leo of all his layers of facade and make him forced to hurt the most important person in his life through horrifying mind control?" in this extremely specific instance was uhhhh. Bloodthirsty! apparently

he's so funny to me like bro can you CHILL

[dogboots]

boyfriend full of facts

[paradimeart]

prowl has 0 idea what goes on in protoform development these days

(V.S. = vector sigma)

[jinxedshapeshifter]

When Phoenix tells Trucy and Apollo they're half-siblings (because I'd argue it's implied in Spirit of Justice he's going to in the next game the three of them show up in. I'm a bit scared about how that reveal is going to happen now that I think about it) I need Athena at least to be in earshot and her to literally yell "THEY DIDN'T KNOW????" because there's no way Trucy and Apollo aren't the only ones who don't know, considering they both look and act like siblings

Alternatively Trucy knows (whether because she put the pieces together or because she overheard Phoenix talking about it or something) but Apollo doesn't so when Phoenix reveals it to them, Trucy's like "yeah, I figured" and Apollo's like "I HAVE A SISTER???" and Trucy teases Apollo about it. She absolutely refuses to let him live it down

[j-esbian]

maybe the real voltron was the friends we made along the way

[turrondeluxe]

How old do you think the turtle tots are in the comics/art you've shown? (like, roughly, how it's their development)

will probably be a bit long because of pics so!

^ a few weeks after being mutated (basically still newborns, very small)

^ Around 6-7 months! Can be seen crawling around the house

^ Roughly around 8 months old (already starting to string together syllables)

^ Around 3 years old! (Yi is VERY smart for her age)

^ Around 4 years old!

^ extra silly fun fact! they started purring being only a few days old!