#so this is technically a spoiler for a much later point in the story

[cosmerelists]

Did I Achieve my Earnest Hopes & Dreams for Wind and Truth?

The night before Wind and Truth came out, I wrote up a list of things I was hoping to have happen (or not happen) in that book. Now that it's a month later and I've finished it, how much of what I wanted did I get?

[Obviously, big big spoilers for Wind & Truth!]

Kaladin lives. WELL... He is...alive. Immortal, really. But all of his friends think he's dead, since he left his body behind when he became a Herald. He did not get to meet with up Adolin & Shallan for drinks like he promised. That's more what I was hoping for...but I'll take this. He IS alive.

Kaladin lives and is happy. WELL... I actually think he's...somewhat happy? He swore the Fifth Ideal. He's with Syl. He's in a Tranquil Mind Palace giving therapy to the Heralds. It does seem like it might get a bit...lonely? But it did not end with him broken or anything like that, so again...I'll take this. He's not unhappy.

There's a really cool Kaladin fight. Maybe two. Honestly, I think we had a sad lack of cool Kaladin fights. I understand that this book was all about Kaladin figuring out who he is without the spear, and I respect that...but I did miss there being some kind of Grand Kaladin Entrance After Which He Kicks Serious Butt. The only fight we got was him vs. Nale, which was...okay, but was solved ultimately via Flute and Therapy and not Cool Fighting Moves. I'm a somewhat simple soul. I missed having Cool Fighting Moves.

Kaladin & Szeth have to fight someone together. Not really. :( Not in the "back-to-back facing off against a hundred foes" that I was picturing, at least.

Leshwi has a significant role. Leshwi was there, but mostly walking and complaining about having to walk now. Again, I was hoping for more Cool Fighting Leshwi, which we didn't get, but I did like that we at least got some scenes with her.

There's a really cool Leshwi fight. Sadly, not so much. Her small amount of fighting was off-screen.

Adolin is NOT Odium's champion. He sure wasn't!

Adolin lives. He did! I think the Adolin story was one of my favorites, to be honest. Him becoming Unoathed was so cool.

Shallan lives (I'm not super worried about her for whatever reason but I couldn't just include two of the three, you know?) She did! ...Although trapped in Shadesmar but NOT able to world jump, which feels like the worst of both worlds. As soon as she got trapped I was like "Hell yeah Shallan worldhopper," but it doesn't seem like it's going that way, unfortunately.

Rlain & Renarin romance. Hell yeah! The Rlain & Renarin romance throughout this was super cute.

Rlain & Renarin romance that isn't like tragic or awkward or anything. I request warm & fuzzy plz. Yes! I like that it wasn't super angsty or anything. They both realized that they liked each other pretty quickly and then just kept making eyes at each other.

Shallan & Thaidakar meet. Well, they TALKED, so I'll take that!

MeLaan cameo. Well, as @archmage236 pointed out at the time, this was impossible since Mistborn Era 2 is after Stormlight. And there were no time travel shenanigans either. We DID get a kandra...but it was Ulaam, and not a cool kandra spy reveal.

...I notice the MeLaan cameo. I didn't but I'm pretty sure it's not my bad this time.

Rock returns or at least is in the book somehow. There was NO Rock! I was genuinely sad about that.

Kaladin hits his head on a doorframe in Shinovar. But not as sad as I was about Kaladin not bonking his head on ANYTHING. A tragic missed opportunity.

Navani invents something cool. You know...I don't think she did, unless you count the weird cocoon thing at the end. But she did figure out how to navigate through the Spiritual Realm, which was a cool Navani Science Moment so I'm counting it.

Navani thinks about Raboniel. I think maybe briefly?

We get the third Bondsmith. We did not! And now that Honor is (actually) dead, I feel like we won't? That's too bad, honestly.

The third Bondsmith isn't human. I suppose technically I got my wish here, yeah.

We find out that there are more than five Radiant oaths (pet theory that I want to be right about) Well I'm not right YET, but...come on! Honor even said he hates the number 5! How could that be the number of oaths?? It just doesn't make sense. It would be like there only being 11 metals or something.

Hemalurgy gets used.....I know that would be bad but I think it would be interesting. Hell yeah. It didn't have a huge role but I was actually delighted that Moash got Marshed.

Hemalurgy doesn't get used on anyone I care about!! I mean...I do care about Moash but I think he was a good choice for this. Future Herald Kaladin vs. Hemalurgic Moash battle, one assumes?

Shallan doesn't incorporate Radiant. :(

Maya cure. Yeah, like I said, I thought Adolin's arc--and by extension, Maya and the other Deadeyes' arc--was great! Maya was so butch and I love what she created with Adolin.

The theory that Shallan's mother was a Herald is confirmed. I think it's a cool theory. Oh wow was it ever! The chills I got when Shallan said, "She was at my wedding."

Bondsmith powers used for a fight. I think it would be cool. Sadly, no. We never really did get to see how they'd be used in combat.

Satisfying Sanderlanche. I don't think it was the Greatest Sanderlanche of All Time or anything, but I was fully captivated (and yes, the biggest downside for me was that it was more Emotions and Philosophy than Cool Fights with Swords. I'm a simple woman).

Kaladin meets a sheep. Or a dog. Or BOTH. I CAN'T BELIEVE SANDERSON CANONIZED NO DOGS AT ALL. Tragic. A true blow. And Kaladin only saw sheep from a distance.

I don't cry too hard... I actually did not. I teared up at actually two parts: when Maya came with all of the Deadeyes and when Kaladin decided to take Szeth's place as the Herald. (But honestly, I don't cry at books very often, so maybe that's on me.)

[heartzfromel]

Rio x fem!reader (fluff and/or hurt comfort plz)

not good enough || rio vidal x fem!reader

summary; you meet your love again after one hundred years

warnings; agatha all along ep 7 spoilers, canon character death, reader has a small injury, kissing, pining, reader and rio are both kinda idiots, rio and reader are both touchy w each other, main story set after first witches road trial, rio and agatha are not romantically involved

rio vidal had been the only constant friend you’d had in your whole life, but your situation was quite complicated. you were a centuries old witch and, whist technically she was too, she was also death personified, meaning she had a lot of work to do. your friend wasn’t around much, leaving you alone a lot. sometimes you wouldn’t see her for sixty or seventy years at a time. this time, it had been a lot longer than that. that fact tended to leave a pit in your stomach, especially considering your last interaction.

1924

you were sitting in your cabin, your best friend lying next to you, the pair of you giggling into the night, until you were both facing each other. it was very clear that the energy had shifted from lighthearted fun, to something else entirely. in all honesty, it sort of made you feel uneasy, but then again everything rio ever did brought up that feeling. it made most people withdraw from her company, but it only intrigued you more.

currently, her eyes were fixed on yours. you held her gaze. it was clear she was fighting with herself internally to keep her eyes off of your lips, but after a few moments of tension-filled silence, she gave in, her eyes darting to your cherry red lips for only a split second, before you licked them and her eyes darted back up to meet yours once again. it was now that you had realised the position that you had been laying in, your hand lazily on her waist whilst hers rested on top wearily. you moved your hand up, with an uncertain energy, as if one wrong move would ruin what was happening. you moved your hand up to her neck, rubbing it gently, and then up to her face as you caressed it gently. her hand has moved more confidently on to your waist, as she squeezed it lightly. you had hoped she hadn’t caught your breath hitch, but the ghost of a smirk on her face told you that she absolutely had. you could feel her breath, hot and shaky on your face. your hand moved to play with her hair, and with a final burst of confidence, you leaned in to kiss her. just as your lips met hers, you were apart again. she moved her hands from you quickly and jolted to sit up in bed. you looked at her again, but the expression on her face was not one you were familiar with.

“rio, i’m sorry-“ you began. what had you just done?

“i have to go.” she whispered, and just like that it was almost as if she were never there.

2026

it was today that your lovely acquaintance, agatha harkness, had decided to make herself your problem as she practically forced you down the witches road. you didn’t really know why you’d shown up, considering the last time you walked the road together she almost you you slashed into a million pieces, but you went along anyway. when you arrived at her extremely un-agatha like house, you were met with a ragtag group of witches and one random lady that you were sure that the rest of the coven had also noticed. unfortunately the woman had passed away during your first trial, and you were left angrier at agatha than you were before, because she could’ve got you all killed by not drinking that wine. you were ready to force it down her throat at one point.

one of the witches, a tall woman dressed head to toe in pink, had suggested summoning a green witch to the road, since they didn’t actually have one. none of you seemed against the idea, and so that’s exactly what you did. had you known what was going to happen mere moments later, you’d have an entirely different opinion.

agatha’s coven all stood still anticipating the arrival of the new green witch, you were a bit less interested, just wanting to leave, and so were not fully paying attention until a single hand shot up from under the ground. a hand that, embarrassingly, you still recognised. the pit that formed in your stomach was one you’d never felt, and it got so much worse when her full figure came into view. she hadn’t aged a day, well she had, she’s aged over a hundred years, but she still looked exactly the same as she did that night in the cabin. as she introduced herself, you hid yourself from view behind the lady dressed in pink, jen, who you’d decided was the only tolerable one here, but it was no use. she had seen you.

“y/n…” she smirked. this earned looks from the whole coven, considering her dramatic entrance.

“i have to go.”

you felt ill as you turned your heel and walked swiftly in the other direction. “maybe this is my trial?” you thought hopefully, praying that you’d turn around and the coven would all be dressed in hideous outfits that the road had picked out for them, but no, when you turned around, you were met by the hypnotic gaze of rio.

“y/n…” she began, “been a while.”

“don’t.” you snapped, “don’t even try.”

“what’s the problem?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“what’s the problem? rio its been over a hundred years.” you spat, malice dripping from your tone. she seemed to enjoy it.

“i’ve been… busy.” she replied playfully.

you didn’t respond.

carefully, she waded over to you, placing a hand on your lower back and using the other to grab your face to look at her.

not breaking eye contact, she brought her hand down to your collarbone, dragging her fingertips along a gash that you’d received from broken glass in the trial. you shuddered at the coldness of her touch. it brought you back to that night, because the only time you’d ever felt her heat up, was when your hand was on her face in the cabin.

her eyes met yours once again and she smiled gently, the same smile she’d smiled all those years ago, before leaning into you.

“rio.” you mumbled, stopping her. you looked up at her with conflicted eyes.

“come on,” she whispered, “look me in the eyes and tell me you feel nothing for me.”

“well clearly that’s not the case, rio, is it?” you spat, fighting the tears that were threatening to spill.

“so what’s the problem?” she asked, both hands now on your face.

“you shut me down the last time, remember?” you spoke, trying your best to drill into her head what she had done to you. “and then you think if you show up here a hundred years later and give me a kiss it’s all gonna be okay?”

“do you know why i left that night?” she whispered, dragging a cold hand into your hair, your eyes threatening to close at her action.

“oh, please, lady death, enlighten me! why did you leave me for a hundred years?” you asked, sarcasm lacing your tone. you caught her slight demeanor change at the use of her title, but it faded quickly.

“i was scared.”

and you couldn’t help but let yourself laugh humourlessly in her face.

“of what, rio, tell me what you were so scared of.”

“that i was’t good enough for you.” she replied, talking to the floor.

“don’t, you’ll set me off again.” wiping tears of laughter from your flushed cheeks.

she didn’t say anything.

“oh.” was all you could muster, “you’re serious?”

she could only nod.

subconsciously your hands wrapped around her waist, before they traveled up to her face.

“well you’re wrong.” you whispered, as she leaned into your touch.

“am i?” she asked, being more serious than you’d ever saw her.

“please, trust me, you’re the only one good enough for me, rio.” you replied, eyes never leaving hers.

“is that right?” she smirked, her confident demeanour reappearing.

“would i have said it if it wasn’t?” you smiled.

“so are you gonna let me kiss you now, or…” rio smirked, one hand grabbing at your waist, the other fidgeting with a strand of your hair.

“come here, you idiot.” you giggled, as you pulled her closer to you, and she grabbed your face to close the gap between you. kissing rio was a difficult feeling to describe, the best way you could would be to say that it’d be the same feeling you’d experience if you set foot in antarctica with no jacket, but it didn’t bother you, as long as you could do this again.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

not me doomposting about l*ona again

I pointed out in an older post that Leona seems to demonstrate a unique ability to unite others under a common cause. This is in spite of the lore stating that it's very difficult to get different kinds of beastmen to see eye-to-eye, so much so that Sunset Savanna's acting king, his older brother, has yet to really unify their people.

WELL.

***Spoilers for Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes below the cut!***

A central theme to Leona's Nightmare Suit vignettes is figuring out what makes someone worthy of being "king". At the start, everyone is reminded of Jack Skellington's status as the "King of Halloween, which makes him the most important person in town. However, Leona's quick to point out that the title isn't what's important, but what one achieves is. He then expresses interest in what it is exactly that Jack Skellington does around here to earn his crown. His opinion of Jack isn’t that good; in the event story, Leona thinks Jack doesn’t pay attention and doubts that he can have deep thoughts. Jack describes his duties as making Halloween the scariest it can possibly be. He drives around in his buggy, walks his dog Zero through the local cemetery, studies and conducts experiments, and reviews the proposals from Halloween Town residents. An important part of his job is considering his people's ideas! But Leona thinks there could be a more efficient way to do this rather than having the king read the proposals one by one. We can see a divide between their ways of thinking; Jack is willing to hear individuals out whereas Leona is focused on efficiency. This is also reflected in how they assign tasks later in the vignettes. Jack has everyone going up one ladder to decorate, while Leona commands the witches to do this task, as its much faster for them to do on their brooms. I don't know if this was intentional, but the way Jack rules feels reminiscent to how Leona often describes his older brother, Farena/Falena. So often does Leona mention that Falena is too kind and cares too much for others, which impedes on the political and economic gains he could be making if he were just more focused on his goals. “[Falena] could just focus on the kingdom’s affairs–you know, his JOB–but nooo, he’s gotta be the caring big brother who’s nice to everybody." (If you want to read a more in-depth analysis of Falena vs Leona's priorities when it comes to ruling, please read this post.)

Leona claims that the qualifications for king around here are actually really simple--and yeah, maybe there's nothing more to his line than this, but considering that in his home country one's order of birth is also a strong determinant, a merit-based system like what's seen in Halloween Town probably is simpler to him. And that means it's his time to shine and be acknowledged when he wasn't successful at earning this recognition back home.

Now, what REALLY surprised me in these vignettes wasn't that Leona knows how to boss around his peers and put their strengths to use (for example, he tells Vil, who has an eye for detail, to look over the embroidery, and Idia, who is a science and math whiz, to handle difficult calculations). It's that Leona is also perfectly aware of the abilities of the Halloween Town residents--people he has only known for less than three days--and uses them and their skills well too. That's an insanely short amount of time to get to know an entire TOWN'S worth of people and what each of them are like... yet he just pulls it off effortlessly????? HUH... This earns him the praise of Dr. Finkelstein, the mayor, Jack, Sally, and Skully. Sally in particular highlights Leona's strengths very concisely, stating that he can accurately assess the situation and give appropriate directions on how to act in that situation. Skully adds that Leona technically doesn't move himself or do any of the dirty work, he's focused solely on giving orders. This makes him a "king" and a leader of equal standing as Jack Skellington. And then Skully--SKULLY, THE OBSESSED HALLOWEEN OTAKU THAT THINKS HALLOWEEN SHOULD BE A VERY SPECIFIC WAY--says that Halloween was made possible by not one, but two great kings this year. It just goes to show how much one can truly accomplish when not barred by a negative environment and a lack of social support.

One definition of "king" that is offered in these vignettes is "the one who can bring everyone together". That's certainly something that both Leona and Jack do, albeit in very different ways. But then, at the end of the Halloween Town segment of the vignettes, Leona acknowledges that "king" can be defined another way. He realizes that Jack is recognized as king not just because he's a leader, but because he's also needed and loved by the townspeople. This, too, is a "king". However, it seems that this is a definition that Leona somewhat looks down upon, as he basically apologizes to Jack for not thinking highly of him at first. Again, Leona prioritizes getting shit done, no matter what the cost of it may be--and even if it earns him the ire of others. This, as I said earlier, puts him in stark contrast to Jack, as well as his own older brother. But here and now, we have Leona finally seeing the strength that a different kind of ruling can have instead of always speaking so disparagingly about it. Even if it's just a little... it feels like he's growing and learning, doesn't it?

The vignettes end on flashing forward to Leona back at Savanaclaw dorm. A few of his freshmen students are goofing off right before magift/spelldrive practice is about to start. As soon as Leona shows up, the freshmen snap to attention and rush off to change for practice. Jack (Howl, not Skellington, lol) remarks that usually the other first years are so lazy, but their attitudes completely changed when their dorm leader appeared. Ruggie chimes in, saying that Leona keeps the entire dorm in line... THJBAEBVUFAEIYAFIOYBVADFILH ThEN HE CALLS THEIR KING THE BEST... AND JACK AGTREESS... WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SHUT THE FUCK UPAS ALREADY STOP POGINTONG OUT HE'S A AGOODFK leADER DFOR YOUE AEPEOPLE YADFJKHAFLIYVDGVYUADGVUEGAVN

In response to the praise, Leona says that simply scolding misbehaving students doesn't make you a king. If it were as simple as that, it would be a pretty cheap throne build only on flattery. The vignettes end with him telling everyone to move their asses to practice. lh WDBHFAIYOEAIYEIYF BUT TAHAT'S PRETY YMASSIVE FOR HS CHARACTER... These vignettes demonstrate that Leona's not fixated on the title of king, but what it means to truly "be" a king and leader. He doesn't value being called a "king" if he feels it's easily earned, he wants to prove himself worthy of it and earn that title through his talents. This all circles back to a thought I had a while ago: that what Leona is after isn't the literal seat of king, but all the things that come with it but was denied of in his childhood. Respect, admiration, recognition for his abilities.

And 💦 Leona doesn’t realize it yet (either that, or he’s in complete denial) but… He also fits that second definition of “king” 😭 He’s the type of person that gets things done (like what he believes should define a king) BUT GIS DORM MEMBERS ALL ALSO NEED AND LOVE HIM…

OOoogohoggoOGH... OTL I hate how well it comes together...

[rollinouttahere-writes]

It took the better part of a year, but I've finally figured out where to go with Joyride. A lot of people have been asking for this, so I hope it lives up to your expectations.

Joyride (Part 2)

Part 1

Yandere Ace x GN Isekai Reader

4.8k words

Warning! This contains pretty much every Ace related spoiler btw!

When going into a world you already know everything about, you don’t exactly expect to be surprised by anything. Sure, there will be slight changes and alternate interactions now that you’ve been unceremoniously dropped in, but you had been anticipating for the story to follow all the same beats.

Which is why you were really thrown off when Ace didn’t go his separate way when he was supposed to.

Luffy had succeeded in defeating Crocodile and stopping his plan for dictatorship of Alabasta, but Ace was still here. Granted, having Ace around was hardly the worst thing that could happen, but you didn’t understand what was going on with him.

After your downright bizarre interaction during the little joyride he took you on, you’d honestly had every intention of avoiding him going forward. Then he threw a curveball at you by sincerely apologizing later that night. With everything going on right now he just got a little carried away, that’s all, he won’t harass you about it again. Or so he claimed.

You were skeptical initially, but true to his word, he hasn’t brought up you joining the Whitebeard Pirates since. Between that, and him having an unknown advantage over you by being a favorite character of yours, it was easy to find it within yourself to forgive him. You two have been borderline inseparable since, much to the chagrin of your crewmates. 

While Ace hadn’t openly made further attempts to convince you to join his pops�� crew, he’d found a thinly veiled loophole in the form of telling you all kinds of stories about them. You knew this was in and of itself, a method to win you over, but deemed it not worth calling out. Besides, who were you to refuse the opportunity to get some Whitebeard Pirates lore?

There were many late nights filled with quiet conversations about various shenanigans the crew got up to in their free time, of which there were many. An unsurprising fact because of course having that many sibling jam packed onto a ship would turn it into a vessel of chaos. 

If you had a weaker resolve, these stories might have won you over. But no, you need to go home.

Even though you weren’t convinced on switching crews, or even just staying here, there was a different problem arising from all your quality time together.

The longer you spoke and goofed around with him, the deeper and more intricate the conversations became, the more human he became to you. Or course, he’d technically always been a human being, but your mind had always registered him (as well as everyone else here) as a “character” first and foremost. A figure in a fictional story which you just so happened to be in temporarily. 

Now? After spending so much time with him, aftering seeing him make decisions based off his own experiences and preferences rather than being dictated by some omnipotent author, things have changed. He wasn’t Portgas D. Ace, the fan favorite character from One Piece. He was just Ace, your friend.

With this came something you never saw coming. Guilt. An all consuming, agonizing guilt that picked away at you every single second of the day.

You knew what was to come. You knew what was going to happen to him. What were you doing about it? Absolutely nothing. And for what? For the sake of preserving a story that’s already been altered from your mere presence?

What a disgusting excuse of a friend you were.

The internal conflict you were going through hadn’t gone unnoticed, not when it was taking such a high toll on you. Nami was the first to start grilling you on it. Naturally, she immediately started pointing fingers at Ace as being the cause, which while not wrong, she wasn’t correct in the way she believed herself to be either. It was hardly his fault that you had a heavy conscience. 

Sanji had also picked up on your struggles and was very concerned about the bags under your eyes, even offering to make some tea to assist with sleeping. An offer you turned down perhaps more harshly than truly necessary, but being trapped in a deeper sleep sounded awful with the nightmares you’ve been having.

It had been upsetting enough to watch Ace die through a screen, but in your dreams you were right there. It felt so real.

A suffocating heat burned at your skin and seared your lungs with every panicked breath, which only became more frantic as hot blood splattered over your face. Life was rapidly draining from Ace’s eyes as he collapsed into the waiting arms of his now deeply traumatized brother.

Your feet were rooted to the ground, all you could do was stare in horror as he looked up at you with tearful, pleading eyes. “Why?” The word was more so coughed out than spoken, spraying out more blood that he couldn’t afford to lose. An arm extended towards you, the hand locking onto your own. His nails dug into your skin, drawing out blood of your own to mix with his into a revolting cocktail. “You could have stopped this. How could you do this to me?”

The last word was wheezed out and his body went limp as his dead, lifeless eyes stared through you. A soul wrenching scream tore its way out of Luffy’s throat, only to morph into your own as you were mercifully ripped from your slumber.

The screaming damn near gave Ace a heart attack, you’re sure of it. This nightmare had occurred after you and him had become separated from the rest of the group while traversing the desert, and you had found a compact cave for the two of you to pass the night in.

What made it worse was how he reacted. He was so concerned, even fretting over you as you desperately tried to get your breathing under control. The compassion in his eyes had done nothing to comfort you, it only served to further sicken you. Here he was wanting to save you from something as trivial as a nightmare, yet you couldn’t be bothered to speak up on and prevent his upcoming demise.

The guilt was killing you, and the solution was not only clear, but easy. So why couldn’t you bring yourself to just tell him? To plead and beg for him to give up the chase and not throw his life away. Yet your lips remained sealed. 

All of these elements came to a boil and demanded your attention, so you did what seemed to be the easiest thing to do in your situation. Drink it away.

Now that Luffy had awoken from his brief coma after fighting Crocodile, Alubarna Palace was hosting a lavish party in celebration and thanks for what everyone had done. And what high end party would be complete without absurd amounts of alcohol?

It started with one, purely to help ease your nerves. However, when it didn’t, you poured yourself another. And then a few more. Zoro had initially been thrilled to have you as a drinking buddy, but apparently even he had his limits and had cut you off.

“The hell’s gotten into you? You’re drinking like you’re trying to run from demons,” the bottle of expensive liquor had been moved out of reach when you tried to go for it again.

“You have no idea,” you slurred out, head spinning from your evening of poor decision making.

Zoro shot you a questioning look, but didn’t press it, likely knowing full well that getting a coherent conversation out of you right now would be impossible. He heaved out a sigh and stood up, “I’m going to get you some water, stay right there.”

Thoroughly defeated, you slumped back into your chair. After all that, you still couldn’t get your dilemma out of your head. Your “demons” continued gnawing at your soul, and all that your drinking had done about it was ensure that you would have a miserable hangover in the morning.

Your head lulled to the side, and you caught sight of a familiar orange hat. Speak of the devil. While you were in the throws of self inflicted misery, Ace was happily taking advantage of all the food being offered. Good for him. He deserved a nice night. 

As if acting on its own, your body managed to get up onto its feet. You shambled towards him, doing your best not to fall flat on your face with each uncoordinated step. Whatever invisible force that had been helping you to make the walk to Ace failed you at the last second, and you crashed into him from behind.

“Shit! Wha- Oh, it’s just you,” Ace whirled around, visibly agitated, but his features relaxed when he realized who it was. He appeared to be ready to say more but you cut him off.

“I need to talk to you.” 

Ace quirked a brow, “Yeah? What’s up?” 

From the expectant look he was giving you, it’s clear that he’s waiting for you to spill your guts here and now. You shook your head, “No, it’s… It’s a secret. We have to go somewhere else.” Realization flashed across his face and he nodded. Fortunately for you, he led the way. You honestly did not think you’d be able to scout out a place for this discussion. You were finally going to come clean and tell him everything before you could sober up and come to your senses.  

It was going well. At least it was, until he passed out and took you down with him. You both collided onto the floor with a resounding thud, him on top of you. The hall you’d slipped into was empty, meaning there was no one here to help you. 

You groaned as you attempted to move, the fall had hit you harder than it should have thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol in your system. You were also mentally kicking yourself for not seeing this coming. He was eating when you stumbled into him, of course it was only a matter of time before this happened.

Whatever, there isn’t time to be bemoaning a minor inconvenience. You manage to shimmy out from under him and use the wall to get to your feet. Ace is snoring on the floor, not a care in the world. Hopefully he’ll wake up soon. 

Taking a look around, you see a door just a couple steps away. You inch your way over to it and try the knob. It clicks open, and you peer in. Looks like some sort of guest room, and it’s empty. Perfect.

Pushing the door open fully, you turn back to Ace. He’s still asleep, but you don’t want to wait around for him to wake up on his own and run the risk of being seen. You lean down to grab the closest part of him, his right foot, and pull. You’re not sure if he’s actually heavy, or if you’re just too drunk for this, but you tip over while trying to do this and fall flat on your ass.

“Huh?” Ace’s head snapped up and he looked around owlishly. The second his eyes connected with yours, he remembered what he was doing before his narcoleptic tendencies took the wheel. He laughed, a light blush on his face, as he got to his feet, “Sorry about that, you alright?”

“I’m fine, get in here,” you urged him to hurry, which he did. In the time it took you to stand again, Ace had already slipped into the room, closed the door, and flicked on a lamp so you two wouldn’t be talking in complete darkness. You eye the door for a moment, then grab a chair and drag it over to wedge it under the doorknob. Someone walking in on the conversation you were about to have would be something of a worst case scenario.

Ace watched this curiously, “Is everything okay?”

This probably looked weird, but oh well, it’s about to get a lot weirder. You decide to sit on the bed and motion for Ace to join you, which he does. You take one of his hands in both of yours and stare at him intensely, “I need to tell you something. It’s going to sound insane, but you need to promise me you won’t tell anyone about this.”

He repeated his previous question, asking again if everything was okay, but you cut him off, “Promise me, please!”

Your desperation got through to him, “Okay, I promise! What’s going on?”

Here goes nothing. You take a deep breath and take the leap, “You need to stop going after Blackbeard.”

Ace recoiled immediately, and if you hadn’t been holding onto his hand for dear life, he probably would have backed away from you. “What? I can’t do that, why would y-”

“Let me finish!” You snapped at him, only to immediately regret it. You sighed, “Please. There’s more, please let me finish talking first, and then you can talk.”

While he did not look happy about it, he did relax his shoulders and settled back into the bed. You took this as your cue to continue, “You need to stop going after Blackbeard because you will die if you do.” Ace exhaled sharply and rolled his eyes at this, assuming that this was coming from a place of fear and doubt.

“I know this because,” you took in a shuddering breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. “I know this because in the world that I came from… This world is a story.”

Ace stares at you wide eyed and slack jawed. He laughed, but was very clearly uncomfortable, “I, uh, I think you’ve had a little too much to drink tonight. How about I take you back to your room to sleep it off, okay?” 

He tried to stand, but you yanked him back down, “No! I’m not drunk! Well, I mean, I am, but I know what I’m talking about! I can prove it.”

His expression was nothing short of incredulous, but he indulged you, “Yeah, okay, sure. Go ahead, prove it.”

“You’re hunting down Blackbeard because he murdered Thatch so he could steal his devil fruit,” you started light. Ace had told you about Thatch being the one he was avenging, but he’d never mentioned the devil fruit before, likely not deeming it an important enough detail. His brows knit together and his eyes drifted upwards as he racked his brain to remember if maybe he actually had said something about it.

“Before you were with Whitebeard, you were captain of the Spade Pirates. Your first member was Masked Deuce, who you met while being stranded on an island together. It’s where you found your devil fruit and built Striker,” he hadn’t told you anything in regards to his old crew, and his face reflected that. You definitely had his attention now.

“You and Luffy were raised by mountain bandits because Garp couldn’t raise you two himself. It wasn’t just you guys, though, you had another brother named Sabo, but he was killed when he tried to set sail and got shot down,” at this point, you were saying whatever came to mind with no regard to whether or not it was a good idea to say this right now. You couldn’t bring yourself to keep looking him in the eye, so you settled for staring at his hand in yours. It was completely slack.

“Your parents are Portgas D. Rouge and Gol D. R-”

Before you could finish the sentence, Ace’s free hand clamped over your mouth with such ferocity that you almost fell off the bed. Forcing yourself to make eye contact again, you see that his are blown wide and wild. The color has been drained from his face and he looked physically ill from hearing everything you just threw at him.

An extremely tense moment passed with nothing to be heard beyond his labored breathing. Then, he hesitantly let go of your face and with a shaky voice said, “Okay. I’m sorry. I believe you. What… What’s going to happen if I keep pursuing Blackbeard?”

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat, but it refused to go away, “When you catch up with him, you’ll fight, but lose. Your powers are no match for his, you don’t stand a chance against him. After your loss, he turns you in to the marines. 

“Because of who your father is, they decide to make an example out of you and sentence you to death.”

“That bastard turns me in and I get executed?” He sounds like the wind has just been knocked out of him. Disbelief and bitterness are the two most prevalent emotions in his tone, but many others brew beneath the surface.

“Not exactly,” it’s true that he gets turned in and killed, but it’s nowhere near that simple and straightforward. “Luffy comes to your rescue at Marineford, and so does Whitebeard and a lot of his crew.”

Before you could go more into detail, Ace speaks up, “They… W-Why would they do that?”

“Why would they- You have to ask?!” Your voice raises and you have to remind yourself of just how much character development he has to go through in that arc to finally realize and accept the fact that he’s genuinely loved. “Because you’re family, their family! They care about you and don’t want to see you die!”

Your outburst shocked him, but not as much as seeing you start to cry did. His hand is abandoned and you lurch forward to bring him into a suffocatingly tight hug, “Y-You are so loved, you know that? They l-love you so much! A lot of people do! I do! We all want to see you live and be happy!” You limply hang off of him as more tears bubble to the surface, greedily taking the chance to escape with every sob as you finally let out everything you’ve been keeping in. Ace makes no move to return your embrace, he just sits there stiff as a board. 

“A-And, at that battle, you’re killed by Admiral Akainu while protecting Luffy. He’s devastated by it, being forced to watch you die hurts him so bad,” you cling onto him tighter upon feeling him flinch from your words. “Whitebeard dies there too.”

“What?! How could anyone kill him? That can’t be right!” You’re wrenched off Ace violently and his stare is almost as unhinged as it was when you said his parents’ names.

“Blackbeard does it,” Ace freezes at this. “That should give you an idea of how strong he is. If he can kill Whitebeard, fighting you is nothing to him. Besides, you of all people would know how hard it is to kill him,” you chuckle but it’s humorless, empty even.

A heavy stretch of silence follows after that. Ace’s eyes don’t leave your face for even a second, desperately searching for anything that would tell him that this is all one big, sick joke. But there’s nothing of the sort. 

Slowly, he releases your shoulders and he shifts away from you to rest his head in his hands. Without his support, you allow yourself to fall back onto the bed. Between all the alcohol and your emotional outburst, you’re exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep. You try to force yourself to stay awake, but it feels like an insurmountable task. 

“Hey, Ace?” There’s no answer, but you continue anyway, “I’m sorry. I know that was a lot. If, um… If you don’t believe me about knowing what’s going to happen, stick around until after we set sail again. Bon Clay- Mr. 2- is going to bring the Going Merry over here so that we don’t have to backtrack. Marines will be all over the place, but he sacrifices himself so that Luffy and his crew can get away. Once they’ve lost the marines, Nico Robin will reveal herself to have been hiding on the ship and joins the crew.”

Ace continues to not react to what’s being said, you’re not even sure he’s listening to you at this point. As much as you want to comfort him, your limbs feel like lead and your head is swimming. The last thing you see is the jolly roger of the Whitebeard’s staring you down as you fade into darkness.

—

Consciousness comes back to you slowly. Painfully so. Before you can even make out your surroundings, you’re assaulted by the worst headache of your life. The stabbing pain behind your eyes is crippling, all you want is to retreat back to the comfort of sleep, but you know that’s not going to happen.

It doesn’t help that your mouth is so dry that you feel like you’re back in the desert. One hand comes up to gingerly massage your eyes. The action brought more discomfort than relief, but it did clear up your sight a little. 

As your senses ebb back into you, you hone in on the pressure all over your body. It takes considerable effort, but you manage to lift your head enough to take a look. Your nose is less than an inch from bumping into someone else’s. Chopper’s to be exact. He was curled up into your side and using your chest as a pillow. Looking past him, Luffy was sprawled across your lap, belly up. Both of them were still asleep.

You prop yourself up on one arm. Chopper shifts, but doesn’t wake. Off to your side is a bedside table with a glass of water on it. Oh, thank God. Using the arm you aren’t propped up with, you grab it and bring the cup to your lips. The water is divine, an absolute blessing for your dry throat.  

As you enjoy your drink, your eyes glance around to observe the rest of the room. It’s the one you all have been staying in since saving Alabasta. Most of your friends are in their respective beds, except for Chopper and Luffy, obviously. Zoro was also not in his bed, instead being slumped over in a chair next to your own.

Your eyes flicker over to the massive windows of the room, and you spot Ace sitting in the windowsill. From the way he’s positioned, he appears to be awake already. Your gaze narrows as you focus on him. Something tickled at the back of your mind, demanding to be remembered. But what?

“Y-You are so loved, you know that? They l-love you so much! A lot of people do! I do! We all want to see you live and be happy!” 

The water going down your throat is suddenly going out of it when you choke. Memories come back and hit you like a train as you realize what exactly it is you did last night.

Naturally, this wakes up Chopper and Luffy, who are both jolted from their once peaceful sleep by you choking on your drink. Chopper immediately starts to panic, “AH! Don’t die, (Y/N)!”

—

It was crucial that you speak to Ace again, but it seemed like the world itself was committed to making sure that didn’t happen. Ace slipped out of the room while everyone was fussing over you, and it honestly felt like he was avoiding you now. Everytime you thought you might be able to catch him alone, either he vanishes, or someone else comes out of nowhere to drag you away.

Today was the day you all set sail from Alabasta, and while that did put you in close proximity with Ace, it also put everyone else within earshot of you two. And considering the delicate nature of what you needed to talk about, that was extremely inconvenient. 

The only good thing was that the events following leaving Alabasta played out exactly how they were supposed to. Hopefully that meant that Ace would believe you and give up hunting down Blackbeard, but you won’t be able to confirm that unless you speak with him. 

You were so stressed that you’d barely been able to focus on Robin being here. She “introduced” herself to you as if she hadn’t had an extremely uncomfortable run in with you in an alleyway back in Rainbase, but all you could manage was a half-assed handshake before excusing yourself.

For probably the fifteenth time today, you checked to make sure that Striker was still tied to the Merry. It was, much to your relief. But where was Ace hiding? You haven’t seen him since Robin showed herself.

The stress of trying and failing to corner him was doing nothing to help with your hangover, your head felt like it was about to explode. Did you still have Advil in the bag you got isekai’d here with? Maybe. Pushing off the railing, you march to where your room is while praying that you’re right about the painkillers.

You open the door without much thought, only to stop dead in your tracks when you catch sight of Ace rummaging through your belongings and stuffing them into his backpack. The door opening did briefly make him stop and peer over his shoulder to see who it was, but the second he saw it was you, he went right back to pillaging. 

“Can I help you? Why are you robbing me?” You stomp over to where he’s crouched down and shove his shoulder. 

“I’m not robbing you, I’m packing for you,” Ace mumbled, sounding lost in thought.

“Why would you be packing for me? Actually, you know what? That’s the least of my concerns right now, we need to talk about last night.”

“We’ll talk about it later, not here.” He still hasn’t properly faced you, and you were getting sick of only making eye contact with his tattoo and not him. 

“Where else would we talk about it?!” You hissed.

Seeming content with his work, he stood up and kicked the dresser drawer shut, “On the Striker. Or maybe the Moby Dick, I guess. I’m going back and you’re coming with me.”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing, “Excuse me?”

“I’m going back to the Moby Dick, and you’re coming with me.” Ace had finally turned to face you. His eyes were sunken and vaguely bloodshot. 

The sight catches you off guard, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

He shook his head, “No, we’re going to have to stop somewhere else to sleep before going the rest of the way back home.”

“Ace, I’m not going with you. Look, I’m happy that you’re calling off your hunt, relieved honestly, but I’m staying here.” You will ideally be figuring out how to go home sometime soon, there’s no sense in hopping around from crew to crew now.

One of his eyes twitched, and he looked exasperated, “You can’t stay here. You aren’t safe here.”

“What are you-”

“Let me finish,” the words were spoken calmly, but very firm. “I don’t think you understand how serious this is. You apparently know everything about this world and what’s going to happen in it, do you have any idea what will happen to you if word gets out about this?”

“You’re the only person I’ve told, so as long as you keep your mouth shut, I’ll be fine.”

“Until you get drunk again and tell someone else, then what?” His words were just as scathing as his gaze.

Your face flushed in shame, “That won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know that!” Ace snapped at you, then sighed and dragged a hand down his face, “This is for your own good. Nothing good will come from anyone else learning about this. If it ever got back to someone like Big Mom, she would send every single one of her children after you so she could have you on her side. And that’s the nicer option. I’m sure the marines would be more than happy to kill you off so that no one else could have you if they can’t.”

Throughout this entire conversation, his face had remained uncomfortably neutral, but now it cracked. Fondness peaked through the exhaustion as his expression softened ever so slightly. He steps forwards and brings you against him in a crushing embrace. His skin is hot to the touch, effectively chasing away any chill that you may have had.

“You said you wanted to see me live, and I want to see you live, too.” The words are hushed, you wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he hadn’t been speaking right next to your ear.

Reluctantly, he pulls himself away. His face is serious again, “We’re leaving tonight, be ready to go.”

“But-”

“If you don’t come willingly, I will make you. The only thing that you resisting will accomplish is making this messier than it needs to be. Even if you don’t like this now, you will thank me for it later.”

Ace spins on his heel and heads for the door. All you can do is stand there gawking at him as he leaves. Just before the door closes behind him, he spares a glance over his shoulder to say, “I’ll see you tonight.”

[cottonlemonade]

That Time I Made My Brother Hide In The Bathroom To Talk To A Girl

word count: 876 || avg. reading time: 4 mins.

pairing: post-time skip Atsumu x chubby!Reader

genre: fluff

warnings: spoilers

a/n: this is a continuation of How You Met but can be read as a standalone

Atsumu was pouting.

Not only had he played one of the best games of his life when he spotted that cute chubby girl from the bus stop in the ranks but during a timeout he had snuck over to your stand and called over the cheering crowd if you‘d wanna grab dinner with him. And you got all bushy again and told him you‘d love to! (Actually, you had only nodded and mouthed “Okay“ but that was a technicality.)

And now this! During the fifth set Bokuto had stumbled when he landed after a spike and crashed into him. Long story short, Atsumu‘s arm was now in a sling and he was stuck in a stupid hospital on this stupid Saturday when he was supposed to wow you with his infinite charm tonight.

Wallowing in self-pity, he threw his head back on the pillow and groaned loudly.

A nurse opened the door, professional concern in her tone.

“Are you in pain, sir?“

“Physically or mentally?“, he asked, eyes still closed.

“Uhm… I see. Well, call if you need anything.“

And she left again.

He wanted to grab his phone to reread your (rather short) chat for the 6th time that day but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Well, ya look like crap.“

“Samu! What‘re ya doin‘ here?“

“I saw yer incredibly subtle Instagram story. How yer feelin‘?“

“Fine.“, Atsumu mumbled but pointed at his right arm, “Just sucks, ya know.“

Then he sniffed the air and his face brightened a little.

“Did ya bring me food?“

Osamu grinned and took off his backpack to produce mountains of Atsumu‘s favorites.

“Yer the best, thanks.“

But just as Osamu was setting up the little food tray next to his bed, Atsumu perked up.

Through the window of the door he spotted a cute chubby figure currently talking with the head nurse at the reception desk, a bundle in her hands that looked suspiciously like food.

“Ya gotta hide.“

Osamu frowned.

“What?“

“Quick, quick! Come on, hide!“

“Why, what‘s goin’ on?“

“Come on, I‘ll explain later. Hide in the bathroom or somethin’.“, Atsumu urged.

Osamu was way too used to his twin‘s antics to question it much further and so headed towards the ensuite but Atsumu hissed, “Take the food with ya, quickly!“

“Ya gotta be kiddin‘…“

But he picked up the tray and as instructed made his way to the bathroom. Not a second too soon.

Atsumu had just put on his best “beaten hero“ face, filled with sorrow and pain, when the door opened a third time and you stepped in. In the reflection of the window he saw how flushed your cheeks were and how awkwardly you held the bundle. You were just too cute. But he closed his eyes and took a deep theatrical breath before turning to face you.

“Oh, y/n. What are ya doing here?“

“I thought you must be disappointed that you couldn‘t finish the game yesterday and… yeah. Plus, we were supposed to see each other today. I‘m sorry if this is too forward, but I brought some food to help you recover.“

Beaten heroes didn‘t squeak. They didn‘t giggle, nor kick their feet.

Atsumu took a deep breath to compose himself. “No no, yer cute. - I mean, this is very sweet of ya, thanks. Have a seat.“

He nodded to the side of his bed.

“Do you have a tray somewhere?“, you asked, looking around.

“Uhm, no, I think the nurses took it after breakfast. A-and“, he added quickly because it looked like you were about to get up to ask for a new one, “I‘m sure I‘ll be fine without one.“

“Alright then.“, you opened the bundle to produce a large square lunch box. When you opened it, steam rose from the fluffy rice, packed neatly next to the eggroll with sausage, grilled meats, pickled vegetables and fruit.

“Looks delicious.“, he said excitedly and tried to pick up the chopsticks with his left hand. When that didn‘t quite work out he swapped to the spoon but even that he could tell must have looked very awkward.

“Could… ya help me out?“, he asked with a small smile and you nodded, taking the spoon from him and scooping up some rice, then adding some meat on top.

When you lifted it to his lips, your hand was shaking so much that it was difficult for him to catch, so he brought up his left and closed it around yours, to keep it steady. Making eye contact for absolutely no reason but his own personal entertainment of seeing you blush, he held your gaze as he closed his mouth around the bite.

“Oh wow.“, he said while chewing, cheeks puffed and eyes widened in surprise, “This is really good!“

You smiled brightly and relaxed, loading up the next spoon.

____________

Meanwhile

Osamu sat on the bathroom floor, working his way through the lavish meal he had prepared for his brother, trying not to gag when he heard Atsumu flirting up a storm in the next room.

At some point he got so bored that he swapped the contents of his brother‘s shampoo and shower gel, making a mental list of all the ways Atsumu owed him for this.

✨ @coffeesncats ✨

[ebonysplendor]

Bruh review the new version of TKaTB bruh because WOWIEEEEEEEEE

I've found that I don't usually do whole reviews on the updated versions of the visual novels I've already written about...but I find it dope that this implies that you lowkey want my unhinged, scatterbrained story telling. Also, big preesh for keeping me straight lol, because, once again, I've been meaning to get around to playing the update, and I just haven't, which is extremely disrespectful. But anyways! I'm yappin' way too early...

TL;DR: HE HIT IT FROM THE BACK. I REPEAT. HE HIT IT FROM THE BACK! ... technically ... we need to have a serious discussion about this thing called "consent", though...

Game Link: https://fantasia-kittcat.itch.io/the-kid-at-the-back-demo

Notable Features: Yandere LI, Custom Pronouns, Self-Insert (first and last name), Two LIs, 1+ Hour Long Demo Spiciness: 2/5 or 8/5 -- Again, it depends on which version you get. If you get the regular degular free version, it'll be more innocent with some flirtiness here and there. If you pay for the NSFW version -- HIGHLY SUGGESTED by the way! -- it'll be way more sinful and the way that the Gods intended it to be. LI Red Flags: 4/5 or 7/5-- Breaking-and-entering, possessive, drugged us, lack of consent, but that "lack of consent" goes even farther in the NSFW version (yes, even farther than in the previous demo) ... but I still can fix him, ya know? Like, that's bae

Wanna know more? If you are not 18+, ABSOLUTELY NOT. You will NOT put this fantastic game in jeopardy, because you're some curious 14-year-old. I honestly don't even want you on my page...but let's be real, are you actually going to listen to me? I hope that you do...ANYWAYS. My 18+ crew, let's get into it!

Almost an entire month with no visual novel review? Nah, we absolutely cannot let that happen.

You know what else we can't let happen? My constant disrespect towards this visual novel. Once AGAIN, the dev(s) ate and left absolutely no crumbs. Like, damn, can you at least leave the plate? Like-- Okay, wait, no, stop. I don't want to get too far into that, because the yap sesh will get kicked off way too early, and I won't have anything for the actual review portion.

That being said, I have done a review of TKATB before, but I'm doing an update of...well, the update. That also being said, because I'm trying to avoid parroting myself too much, the review is going to flow differently. ALSO! Once again, thanks to the bestie, I was able to see the degeneracy LIVE AND IN 4K and biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch~! Let me tell-- Wait, no, no, no, stop. Not yet. Later. We'll talk about that later...at least sorta.

Anyways, like always, I'll def try to make this as spoiler friendly as possible, especially since it's lowkey a different game at this point. Like, the dev(s) have added in extra SCENES. We have new CGs! Like...we've got CONTENT in this update, y'all!

Okay, for realsies now. Enough yappin'. Let's get into it, and y'all...there's a lot to get into.

So, effin' BOOM.

...Actually. Let's do this another way, because we already lowkey know the story. Again, if you don't, I made a review of it a few months back that will get you somewhat caught up. This time around, though, let's just talk and vibe. Enjoy some snacks or whatever, ya know?

Go ahead and pick; there's plenty. I've got me, like, three capri suns and some donut holes. Like, I'm really tryna get into this game convo with y'all because we're squad, ya know? So, let's get comfy while gettin' into it.

All right, so -- *big siiiiiiiiiiip* -- my husband Solivan Brugmansia, right? Let's discuss. Not about him being my husband or not, the game. Respectfully, check yourself. Anyways.

My Gods. that is bae right there. Like, gah damn...

For starters -- even though, I can totally fix him, and I want to make that very clear! My baby ain't do nothing entirely wrong! Like just- just give him to me. He is just a lil' traumatized and misunderstood; he is very capable of change. Like, I can fix him! I can! -- it's only fair to remind you that he is, uh, kind've batshit crazy. Now, the wild part is that I for realsies forgot that he is not entirely sane. Like, not even kidding about that.

This experience has been a sort of "Let me seep you into the madness" versus a "Let's make him insane off rip", and because it was like that, when he started doing typical yandere shit, there were -- specifically -- two different times that I experienced genuine shock. It was literally like, "Oh yeeeeeeah. This is a visual novel with a yandere love interest. Solivan's the yandere. He's not wrapped too tight. Ah, yes, I forgot about that factoid", ya know? The shit genuinely caught me off guard.

Anyways, still can't trust the orange juice, 10 is the magic number, and don't kiss Crowe...like ever lmao. You can dismiss the fuck out of that man, but he's lowkey a simp like Sol is, so as soon as you kiss him lmao...

Just remember that it's implied that Sol is, and has always been, keeping a close eye on you. Actually, let me back up a little. Let's talk more abo-- Oh, wait, do you need a refill? Okay, hold on for a second. Wait, are you good on snackies? You know what? I'll just grab everything, just in case.

...

Okay, now, let's talk more about the orange juice.

Never --

-- and I mean NEVER, trust the orange juice.

There was a moment that we got with Sol, and it was like, "...Aw :)", and then, he was like, "I made orange juice~!", and it was like, "...Aw :(". Like, lmaooooo, I thought we were past that, ya know? Like, I obviously like you! I have you at a 10! Why are you resorting to nonphysical violence? I mean, he got physical in other ways, but it wasn't violent, ya know what I'm sayin'~?

Now, the "10" thing that I keep bringing up.

This competition between them is more intense than I thought, bro, and Sol does not cope with failure well. You know how people will be like, "a win is a win"? Well, with Sol --

-- a loss is a loss, even if it's just by one point.

Remember that whole "Don't kiss Crowe" thing? I genuinely mean that. As tempting as it may be -- and believe me, it's tempting especially because...Crowe can really make a girl feel really, really... wanted, ya know?🫦... ANYWAYS -- DO NOT kiss that man, because that's the game point. Now, who's the actual winner in that scenario.... 👀🧃*dramatic siiiiiiiiiip*. I ain't gon' say it...but I'm just sayin' lmao.

Even though, I really ain't shit because...I willingly cheated on Sol with Crowe. WAIT. LET ME EXPLAIN WHY THOUGH.

This man, dear Gods, this man. I must stay focused... This man is the one that you SHOULD be dating. This is the one that all of your friends and your family really like and approve of. This is the healthy choice, but you don't choose him, because the one that you want is "dark and hot and tall and mysterious" and you're like, "but daddy, I love him!". Meanwhile, your friends are desperately trying to tell you about all the red flags with the other guy and are like "What is with you and toxic men?!". Then, when you defend your toxic crush, they shade you because they "should've saw it coming" when you had picked Sesshomaru and Sasuke over Inuyasha and Naruto.

...But, anyways, when I say that Crowe is Prince damned Charming? Babes... And then he let that hair loose????

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabes~!

As a side note, lol I wasn't pulling those descriptions (completely) out of my ass; that was the literal intention.

See? "Dark and mysterious" vs "Princely".

Anyways, Crowe's rizz game is...surprisingly strong? Like, I honestly don't know why I was so shocked, but I was shocked. Like, a girl was genuinely flustered, because what do you mean that "you knew that we were going stargazing but you didn't know the brightest start was going to be right in front of you" and "anything for me"? Not to mention that this man was putting flowers in our hair and carRYING US TO OUR APARTMENT IN THE RAIN? BARELY GRUNTING WHILE DOING SO??? Like, sir, please, don't do this. I have a husband...but it's like, shit, I won't tell if you won't at this point.

That's pretty much all the new stuff -- well, that I was willing to partially spoil for you. There's other stuff, but you definitely gotta see that live and in 4K, and trust me, you're gonna want to.

Once again...THE FATTEST EFFING SHOUTOUT TO WHOEVER SENT THAT ANON MESSAGE AS THEY HAVE PUSHED ME TO STAND ON BUSINESS ONCE MORE.

It is even more beautiful than I remember, and thanks to the bestie, I was able to see my husband in all of his glory LIVE and in 4K. Okay, but I was degenerate throughout this whole post, so let's just put a pause on that and actually review the game properly.

This is still a work of the Gods, and I honestly love the tweaks and additions that were made. From Brittany's personality being tweaked so it reads more as "I swear, I'm not mean; I'm just really bad at talking to people" to Crowe's scenario being way more in depth to getting some more CGs of my husband Sol. The art style is still damned IMMACULATE to look at, and the plot is STILL plotting. Also...he's cute, but I lowkey don't trust Crowe, because why are you so perfect? The dev(s) is/are writing the EFF out of these characters. Like, honestly? Continue to pop off.

I definitely plan to buy my own copy, and I HIGHLY suggest that you do the same. It's honestly just the spicy scenes, so it's not like "Ooh, extra lore!" or anything, but they are honestly so deserving of that monetary support. Not to mention, the NSFW version is what the Gods would have wanted.

Even though, I'm wondering if we'll ever explicitly know Sol's (and definitely Crowe's and Hyugo's[/Geo's]) background. Now, admittedly and as far as I know, this is really the only piece of "lore" that you'll miss if you don't get the NSFW version, because I'm certain that I'm not the only one that's noticed it, but just in case you haven't (and I'm cutting the heck out of this CG because it's very spicy, but I need you guys to see what I'm talking about).

What's up with these bruises? Like, you see that right? But it's not in the other picture, so it's like...? What the eff happened? Like, the reason why I say that is because the second picture happened BEFORE the first picture, so something happened to him, but what? I know that it's implied by some of the things that Sol says and how he responds to stuff and some of his mannerisms that he came from a pretty shitty background, but what exactly and is it ongoing?

But, then again, it's like duh it's ongoing, because he said that "it's the usual" that he deals with...uh...certain situations. Check this out though; in that same breath, he was like "every bruise is worth it". Like...what? That's not-- That's not a normal or healthy thought let alone something you'd actual verbalize. Like, I'm telling you, the dev(s) is/are murdering this visual novel thing. No wonder it's so easy to forget that Sol is a literal walking red flag. I'm more focused on the plot than whether or not he's gonna drug my food.

Also, also, also, I just want to yap really briefly about my favorite CG... screen... UI thingy...that I can't show you. Not because it's a spicy one but because, even though you can probably read between the lines, it'd be, what I feel is, a major spoiler. Just as a slight "pro" tip. That little green heart at the top right of your screen that turns blue when you hover over it?

It leads to that screen with the scale that shows your affinity level for Sol and Crowe. Just...check in on that thing a lot; you may see something interesting. When you do see that interesting thing...please, think of me ಥ‿ಥ Because next to the way that the affinity level is shown altogether, it was my absolute favorite thing about the update. That was done so beautifully. ...Damn, I want to show you all so badly ._.

Anyways, I think my yap session should end here. I've already said it a handful on times, but what's one more time? I highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend this game. It's so good, the art is amazing, the plot is plotting, and so much work and love has gone into this game, and it's STILL only in its demo phase. I suggest donating $5 to have (permanent) access to the NSFW version and/or telling the dev(s), "Hey! Really love your game! I was just wondering if you take human sacrifices? Would that expedite the full release? Anyways! You're doing great, sweetie! <3"; aggressively supportive validation is really the only way to go, because they really are doing more than a damned good job. You should honestly see it for yourself. Here, I'll put the direct link for ya.

I'm yapping again. I'm ending it for realsies now. The biggest preesh for hanging out with me today and getting this far. PLEASE, remember to drink water, don't be dumb, and hope to see you around~!

The Kid at the Back (DEMO)

[iamstillovingyou]

I've been seeing a lot of dicourse about Kang Dae ho lying about his being in the marines and I don't think that he is lying but rather he has a complicated story with it and, as his ptsd would imply, trauma Spoilers for Squid Games season 2 from now on!!

- First of all, the tattoo Why does he have one? If he's a marine, it makes sense. If he isn't, why get it? Does he lie about it on a daily basis? Does he boast with it? When he got into the games he had no way of knowing whether his status as a marine was something which would benefit him in some way, so he hasn't got the tattoo shortly before the games - he voluntarily shares that he is also a marine, in order to bond with Jungbae; Dae ho lights up and joins him with pride that he is also a marine -however, later we can see him evading the topic or reluctantly talking about it and his father - I'd say that he's not lying about having been in the marines and even if he were, as someone pointed out (bless you), Korean men are legally required to go through military training, so even if Dae ho isn't a marine, he must know how to use a gun/rifle because he's had the training - now why does he react like that, as if he didn't know how to handle a weapon - what if, as he says, he joined the marines because of his father (he didn't wanna go, he was forced to) and hated it so much and was traumatised by it; what if something happened while he was there, he couldn't obey an order because of fear/morality or lost his comrades/friends etc. *remember he didn't wanna be there in the first place* which leaves him with ptsd *which is activated later when the shooting starts* so he leaves the marines - maybe at this point, his father is mad at him and basically kicks him out of the house and he is left alone without his family and he's gotten into a bad situation and that's how he joins the games - now, I saw someone saying why he joined up the uprising at all, maybe to keep up his lie or maybe because he thought that this was the right thing to do, he doesn't want to let his friends down, but when it got to the shooting he couldn't do it - there is a lot more nuance to it and I really don't understand all the hate towards him, calling him weak and a coward, as if any one of us would act differently when faced with life or death - also keep in mind that they were outnumbered anyway, even if Dae ho came back with the ammo, they wouldn't have achieved anything because of the front man??? Like are we even watching the same show? Also he technically saved player 120 from dying, so there's that

Also you can see that he flinched when player 120 approaches him, as if waiting to be hit, which might imply previous abuse and trauma

[in1-nutshell]

Hello teacher I'm just resending my request cause I remember you said some of the request you get from other followers disappears and I haven't seen the other request that I have send you when your request box was open

So I took the liberty of myself when your request box was open to copy and paste my requests so here they are

1.) Not too sure where this idea came from but I would like request a (our world buddy again) who happens to have a great fatherly like relationship with Prime Verse megatron who ends up meeting IDW Optimus who actually is her adopted dad he has the papers and data pads to prove everything and Prime megatron and his decepticons decided they were gonna fight IDW Optimus for custody of buddy and it ended somewhere along the line of Prime megatron ended up in the medbay completely unconscious and half of his army traumatized after they found out what an how angry a prime who is a father can really get (technically related to my story)

2.) Don't really know what to think for this one but what about IDW Bots meet G1 bots?

3.) Buddy from our world meet team prime and team megatron from cyber verse world? I would love that interaction

Oh and cyber verse starscream got really attached to her to the point he doesn't like sharing her attention which buddy has no problems with cause she knows why he is the way is. And maybe megatron and sound wave got attached too and devised plans to steal her and keep her the nemesis for a little while cause it's not everyday you meet someone who show so much affection

P.S feel free to write these last cause I know you are busy😃✌

This is a pretty big list, so I went with number 2, minus the Cyberverse part. I don't write for Cyberverse as of now.

Hope you enjoy!

Human Buddy from the real world meeting Team Prime

SFW, Platonic, Human reader

TFP

Buddy was starting to think that maybe the new coffee mixture they had made was really an elixir to travel dimensions.

They didn’t know how hard they hit their head when they saw Wheeljack arguing with Ultra Magnus.

The two bots didn’t even notice the human until they came literally running to Magnus’s pede and hugged him the best they could.

Buddy hugging Magnus’s pede: “If this is a dream I don’t want to wake up!” Magnus nearly jumps feeling the random human hug his pede. Wheeljack looks like he is going to glitch, though he doesn’t know for what reason. Wheeljack: “Hey… umm, kid what are you—” They turned their head so fast Wheeljack was sure that he heard a snap. The human starts running up to him rapidly shaking their fist in excitement: “Wheeljack! I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you! Either that or I may have found the limit of coffee I am allowed to drink.” Ultra Magnus and Wheeljack: “What?” Buddy: “Hey, aren’t you supposed to take me to meet the rest of the team? Isn’t it like, the whole protocol?” Ultra Magnus gives Wheeljack an uneasy look: “You seem to know quite a bit…” Buddy waving their hand: “I’ll explain that later, now, who am I climbing in?!”

When they arrive to the base, they are practically bouncing off the walls.

They are even more excited than when Miko first showed up.

In fact, the new human is excited to meet the kids, Fowler and June just as much as they are excited to meet the bots.

Miko has a taste of her own medicine and feels the need to apologize… someday.

Buddy does calm down when explaining how they know who they are and how they had been through a similar situation like this before.

That leads to more questions, but Buddy refuses to answer them.

Something about ‘Not wanting to mess with the universes’.

Buddy: “Anyways I need to keep you guys from finding out about some spoilers, like Bee’s voice coming back. Team Prime: “WHAT?!” Bumblebee: BEEP!? (MY VOICE?!)” Buddy: “…Rats…”

Optimus does allow Buddy to stay on the base while they wait until they return back home.

Most of the team thinks that another Miko is among them now.

And to a point they are right.

But Buddy also knows when to stop and tries to be useful around the base.

Buddy sweeping the human area. Miko: “This has been the third time you’ve cleaned this place this week. You can leave some stuff around you know?” Buddy still sweeping: “Ratchet finds the mess distracting; I’m just trying to lighten some of the load.” Ratchet, who overhears this now has to rethink his opinion of Buddy.

More respect is earned when they see Buddy football tackle Miko from going into the groundbrigde.

Many hugs are given on what seem like random days.

Those days turn out to be heavier than others and Buddy is always behind the bot ready to hug or do whatever they can to make them feel better.

Smokescreen walks into the base with his doorwings a bit drooped. Buddy running over to him: “Hey Smokes.” Smokescreen puts on a fake smile: “what’s up Buddy?” Buddy patting his pede and giving a genuine smile: “You’re doing great.” Smokescreen just nods because he doesn’t want to cry in front of Optimus. Later… Ratchet still on the main console. Buddy grabbing a blanket and places it nearby. Ratchet: “And what are you doing? You should be in bed.” Buddy: “That’s where you should be too.” Ratchet scoffs and continues working. Buddy: “Don’t think I didn’t see you put back your rations today.” Ratchet stops mid key stroke. Buddy: “I am NOT going to sleep until you get some energon and go to sleep.” Ratchet: “Well then prepare to stay awake for a long time.” Buddy cracking their knuckles: “Bring it! I’ve been awake for 3 days and 3 nights straight during exam week!” Ratchet suddenly worried for Buddy’s health: “…You win this round.” Buddy laughs in sleep deprived.

The bots are wrong to assume that Buddy wouldn’t pull a Miko.

… and now some are considering bringing them out with them.

Buddy fan almost as much as they do with the bots and some cons are now afraid of getting the feral human on them.

But Buddy has also thrown rocks at certain cons out of pure spite.

Buddy throwing some rocks at Breakdown: “SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE AND JOIN US!” Breakdown looking at the human questioning: “What?” Buddy still chucking rocks: “YOU COULD BE A GREAT AUTOBOT WITH YOUR POTENTIAL! BRING KNOCKOUT TOO!” Knockout: “I think this human lost it.” Buddy: “DO NOT LET YOUR MAN GO OUT HUNTING THAT TRAITOROUS SPIDER!” Arcee: “Finally something we agree on.”

[hatredmadeofgold]

So, Raiden has DID, right. This is a fact.

What do you think about his system? I know you write fanfic about him, do you think there are any other elaborated parts other than Raiden and The Ripper? (I'm not a fan of "evil murder alter," but I feel like naming would be pretty ambiguous. :)

Hey anon, I am sorry in advance but this answer is 2263 words long lmao Go sit back with a beverage of your choice (I recommend water) and enjoy the ride.

[Not sure if you’ve read my little attempt at an essay from July 2022 about him having DID (it’s here), but I do consider it outdated now and would love to update it (same as the one on him having ASPD) at some point when I got the energy for that.]

This is a fact made me laugh a bit, ngl.

I am not a fan of the “evil murderer alter” thing either (I watched Split once and while I give my kudos to the actor’s portrayal of various alters, the story itself sucks ass and I also found it boring as hell to be honest) — if anything, Raiden’s entire system consists of “evil murderer alters”, or none of such at all. We’re speaking about a character who admits to enjoying murder, and that wasn’t The Ripper speaking back then in MGS2 either — Raiden isn’t left in the dark of his violent nature, but he’s left in the dark about the details.

I don’t want to give too many spoilers for my fanfiction series @mgsr-sing-to-me away, since the story goes in-depth about my concept of his DID system, how it was created and what each alter roughly represents, but I’ll try to give you a quick rundown:

Something I think most MGS fans can all agree on is that Raiden in all three games in which he appears feels somewhat different, to the point of ‘inconsistency’ even, and this has created my interpretation and headcanon for him to have DID in the first place, and Raiden having suffered from amnesia is a well-known canon fact.

To me, however, it’s not MGR Raiden who feels strongly different in terms of personality — it’s MGS4 Raiden who feels like an inconsistency.

I consider the Raiden we see in MGS4 actually a different alter being in control of the body than the one who is in control during MGS2. During MGR, it feels like a mix of both of those alters but let me get to that later.

‘Jack the Ripper’ is an obvious alter, not an ‘alter ego’, and when I played MGR in Japanese, the cutscene after the Monsoon boss battle in which Raiden touches the wound on his abdomen made me realise — hold on, he suffered amnesia right there.

Something that I strongly dislike about the English Dub of MGR is that Quinton Flynn isn’t really good at the portrayal of Jack. Throughout the Japanese dub, however, Ken’yuu Horiuchi uses his voice to show the literal switching between at least three alters present in Raiden throughout the game. Unfortunately, this isn’t evident in the English dub much at all, aside from the Jack the Ripper Awakens cutscene.

For easier understanding’s sake, I will give those alters some nicknames (also to prevent spoilers for my fanfiction):

The Raiden of Denial, as we see him both in the first half of MGR and MGS2

The Raiden of Dissociality, as we see in the later half of MGR and on and off during MGS2 (especially during {optional} Codecs with Rose)

Jack the Ripper

The Raiden of Sorrow, as we see him during MGS4

I took these 4 observed alters from the canon as my pillars to roughly create my concept for his DID system, which boils down to an approximate number of 16 or more alters in total.

I say ’16 or more’ because Raiden has never received adequate therapy for his mental health issues during canon, and it’s hard to determine an exact number of alters in general due to the covert nature of the disorder.

I decided to keep the exact number ambiguous but clear and simple enough to not get overwhelmed because technically someone with such severe trauma as his could result in poly-fragmented DID (aka 100 or more alters), but that’s not even set in stone.

Let me get into the specifics a bit.

—

Raiden of Denial alters are parts of him that are, what the (flawed) model of structural dissociation would probably call “apparently normal parts” (short: ANP). I take this model with a grain of salt because DID isn’t as neatly structured as this model suggests (in my experience), but to keep it simple, these alters are less aware of the full extent of their traumas and are therefore ‘functional’ in everyday life as well as interpersonal relationships, however, they feel less ‘fleshed out’ or ‘mask-like’ in his case sometimes.

All Raiden of Denial alters tend to run away from their past, hence I label them with the word “denial”. All of these alters are adults, and the apparent Host alter {at the time}, present in the first half of MGS2 until the nanomachines suppressing a part of his memory (aka suppressing the majority of the system) are deactivated by Solidus Snake, is one of such.

—

Throughout MGR, we can see two alters intruding on each other’s consciousness with thoughts, feelings and memories. One of them is like the one we see in MGS2 and the prologue of MGR, one in denial. Then there’s one we see sometimes in MGS2 and more and more prominently during MGR, a dissocial one.

We see an indirect switch right at the beginning of Chapter 1, where a dissocial type takes over. This shift is also picked up by Kevin, mentioning Raiden’s callousness that Raiden does not respond to.

These two alters are in so much conflict with each other throughout the game that Jack the Ripper decides that he’s had enough of that shit from the other two because neither of them is capable of handling being consistently confronted with triggers and reminders of “who they all really are on the inside”, and shoves them both out of the frame and takes on full control.

This comes with strong amnesia about what happens during his takeover. It’s not total blackout amnesia, but rather that it feels like watching himself act in the third person perspective, and the memory feels like Raiden is watching a YouTube video on a bad internet connection in 360p resolution.

—

Now Jack the Ripper is a persecutor-type of alter — an alter that has a protective role for the system, however, a persecutor’s methods are causing harm to the system overall.

I don’t want to give too much away from my fic as I said, but I’ll give you the hint that Jack the Ripper that we see during MGR is both an adult and a child at the same time.

A child who is trying to protect himself by lashing out at everyone and everything around him. It is obvious given the context of what we are told from the games that Jack the Ripper was born from the horrible things he was forced to witness and forced to do himself when he was a child soldier in Liberia, hence his age-ambiguity. And even The Ripper is split into several variants, making The Ripper his own category of alters.

The variants of The Ripper handle various parts of the horrible things that he had to endure as a child soldier, and they vary in ‘age’ and what triggers them out but they all behave roughly the same.

Despite being different alters of the same category, unlike the other alters within the same category, Ripper variants all consider themselves to be one and the same, perhaps unable to understand the barriers between them as well as gaps in memory.

Also one part of these alters is a child alter who has none of these violent and hostile traits at all, but is still a part of this category. This alter is protected by the rest of The Ripper, and contains all of these emotions that he was not allowed to openly show to guarantee his survival back in Liberia, like fear, sorrow, and pain but also empathy.

There are multiple of these child alters in the system, but they are hard to distinguish without giving them names, some have memories of their trauma, and some are completely oblivious.

—

The Sorrow type of alters are what we exclusively see in MGS4 and are what I associate with self-hatred, recklessness, suicidal ideation (internal homicide), self-harm and substance abuse.  

Sorrow types are either adults or teenagers. They exclusively have a detailed awareness of Raiden’s addiction issues, which is another headcanon I have and is also listed in the content warnings for Sing to Me (ARC 2: Parasite Eve will handle this topic the most; and it may or may not be rather graphic, it depends on what I decide in the end what I will decide to publish).

—

Now I have listed 4 types of alters but I did not say anywhere that each category of them equates a set amount of alters to get to the number of 16 known alters in the system.

Because there’s another category to throw into the mix: Introjects.

So far, I have 4 introjects in mind that are part of Raiden’s system, but due to Sing to Me spoilers I cannot share them all.

Introjects are alters based on another person, be that a person in the system’s life, a celebrity they look up to, or even a fictional character. They exist in all DID systems in real life (and some sources confirm fiction-based introjects aka fictives since the 1980s) and their existence has a link to the psychology of child development.

One introject Raiden possesses is based on Solidus Snake/George Sears. Said alter is also a persecutor type and could be overlapping somewhat with the Ripper category, but is not a direct part of them. This persecutor introject of Solidus causes the entire system a major hit to their self-esteem, as he enacts the very same punishment onto the system, as the real Solidus Snake did on Raiden when he was a child soldier under his control, and also sabotages a lot of Raiden’s relationships by ‘protecting’ him from perceived threats that he sees in others.

—

Another I have in mind is perhaps based on Solid Snake/David and could have formed way before they’ve actually met. This makes sense because Raiden had gone through 2 years of VR training for the Big Shell mission, which put him into Snake’s role when he was on a solo infiltration mission on Shadow Moses Island in Alaska. This David introject is very loosely based on the actual person and is more of a fragment of what Raiden had been made to believe during those times. After their meeting, this introject might take the role of a ‘caretaker’ type of protector. Caretaker in this context must not be understood as to be something like a mother or father figure! However, this alter is counteracting the Solidus introject as well as the Ripper variants, by trying to get himself back on track.

—

Then there’s a fictive I feel like I can share about, and it’s the only female alter in the system: Ripley. And with that one I mean the actual Ellen Ripley from the first 4 movies of the Alien franchise.

Given that MGS2 mentions Raiden and Rose having met over arguing over King Kong, I came to think of what other types of fiction Raiden would enjoy and wrote myself a (still unfinished) list of movies and books.

The Alien franchise started in 1979 with the first movie, so it even matches timeline-wise that Raiden possibly saw those movies in his late teens, perhaps on TV or borrowed them from a local video rental store. Kaijū movies seem to be his thing, and although the Alien franchise is not considered one, it does overlap in some aspects of the genre.

Ripley as an alter might have formed when Raiden was moved into a foster family’s home, and to cope with his terrible nightmares that felt far too real, his psyche latched onto the fictional character to dissociate himself further from his past.

What I imagine is that he saw his nightmares, the flashbacks, and what he went through as something as undefeatable and unkillable as the xenomorph as described in the first movie, “the perfect survivor, without a conscience, guilt or remorse, nor moral code”.

Now Ripley was able to survive the xenomorph, and also kill it — by shooting it into space. Something that Raiden always wished to do with his past, just to erase it, as we learn in MGS2. At the time this alter takes its shape, he was maybe 15 or 16 years old. Ripley is also a protector, to protect the child in him additionally from pain. This alter then also takes a motherly role for the system inside Raiden’s Inner World, something that cannot be seen by an outsider.

—

The last introject I cannot say anything about it, since that one would give a too-harsh spoiler for my story plans with Sing to Me. I’d LOVE to talk about this alter and the absolute mindfuck he will create once he surfaces and interacts with other characters in the story, but my hands are tied. It sadly takes me so much time to work on the story due to the lack of energy I have overall, but it’s on my mind every single day. Even writing this answer took me two nights T_T

And considering that I’ve written over 2200 words to answer this ask already, I will make a cut here. Because honestly, I could write an entire book about Raiden (and Sam).

Which… I am actually doing, sort of, with my fic, due to its sheer estimated length of around 100 chapters for just the main story.

[truffle-worm]

Now that I’ve finally read Night of the Nindroids I've decided to make a little analysis on the way Zane is portrayed in that comic. I know it technically isn’t canon but I just found it so interesting, I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Spoilers up ahead!

The comic starts off with the ninja telling each other jokes. Frustrated with Zane’s lack of humor, Jay makes a somewhat rude comment towards him and then immediately apologizes. What really stuck out to me is how Zane responded. He said “I am not sure I have feelings to be hurt”, which tells me that Zane himself seems to doubt his own personhood.

Next night, Zane gets caught by the Nindroids and faces the Overlord. The Overlord rhetorically asks him what he’s afraid of, immediately following by a statement that Zane is incapable of feeling anything. Not love, not hate, not fear. Everything he ever experienced has been an imitation of real feelings. He's only a robot. The Overlord uses extremely manipulative language in order to make his offer sound more tempting. That offer being: turning Zane human. Transferring his mind to one of his friends’ bodies and killing them in the process. Zane of course rejects that idea, but the Overlord continues to push, pointing out how he’ll never be like his friends, how he’ll never truly understand them. Zane fled, but the narrator points out that those words really stuck in his head. 

Next day, Zane asks Cole about doubts and fears and Cole responds, saying that pretty much everyone has those and that Zane is lucky he doesn’t have to worry about them. Zane hesitantly agrees, though you can see by his face that he’s clearly bothered. Honestly this conversation characterizes Cole in a weird way imo, almost like he’s denying Zane’s feelings? I know Cole acted way different in early seasons and this comic is very old but even then it feels a bit out of character? Idk just my opinion.

Now, Zane does end up taking the Overlord’s offer, choosing Kai’s body as his future vessel, but it’s later revealed that he only pretended to betray his friends. In reality, Zane and the ninja hatched an elaborate plan together to take down the Nindroid army. They pretended to have a serious fight and then they pretended to be defeated by Zane. Honestly I wish we got to see a flashback of that conversation. I mean, in order for them to hatch that plan, Zane would’ve had to reveal the Overlord’s offer and therefore expose his deepest insecurities, which would've inevitably lead to a serious conversation about the way he viewed himself in relation to others. It’s a shame we didn’t get that, it could’ve been really interesting.

Now, Zane didn’t tell the ninja the full extent of his plan (I’m assuming it’s because he was constantly being watched by nindroids) but in order for it to work, Kai had to get really close to losing his life. It was a pretty reckless plan and at one point Zane even marked how he was unsure about whether it would even work. I think it could’ve been interesting if Kai held a bit of a grudge towards Zane afterwards, but then again, this story is about trusting your friends so I understand why he didn’t.

In the end though, Nya helped save the ninja, revealing that Zane had asked her for help. To keep it secret from the nindroids, Zane used a code that him and Nya had created together one time. I think it’s sweet how they have their own code. I love their duo.

Anyways, when Zane triple-crossed the Overlord, the Overlord started yelling about how Zane had forfeited his chance at humanity, to which he responded with “If I had done what you asked, I might have had a human body, but I would have been far from human”, which might be one of my favorite Zane lines. It's powerful. It’s a stark contrast from the beginning of the comic, when he seemed to question his personhood and the reality of his feelings. Now he’s confident about them. Because he knows he cares about his friends. And no matter whether he’s a machine or not, they will always have his back. And he will always have theirs.

Overall, Night of the Nindroids wasn’t perfect, but I still find their portrayal of Zane pretty compelling. The comic dove down some pretty interesting topics regarding his insecurities, which is something I wish was more elaborated on in the show. I also wish the comic gave us a heartfelt moment between him and the ninja, where he reveals his insecurities to his friends and they give him reassurance, as I think that would really cement their mutual trust.

If you think I’ve missed something, feel free to add on.

[chaoticpolarity]

Ok, I just saw Sonic 3, and I'm gonna talk about it under a Keep Reading, so spoilers ahead on the movie and my thoughts

I'm still a little insane off the adrenaline, so my thoughts may change later, but this is what I think fresh off the experience.

It was REALLY GOOD, but I'm not going to lie to myself and say that it was incredible and met all the criteria. I'm gonna get the negative-ish out of the way first, then I'll rave, okay? Okay. Gerald Robotnik also played by Jim Carrey basically fell into the trap I was worried about, in that he was kind of just another Eggman in a slightly different coat of paint. The two Robotniks are very different flavors of insane at the point in which we meet them in SA2, so, while I hoped Jim Carrey may prove he has some range as a Robotnik, I was a bit let down, but not entirely surprised. He wasn't BAD, per se, but he sort of shone a spotlight on how I'm not the hugest Jim Carrey Eggman fan anyways. That's my opinion, of course; I know some people really like Jim Carrey as Eggman, and again, he's not bad.

Also, I know we as fans were told that Shadow and Maria's story would play a big part in the movie, but...I have to say, that's the real sticking point for me with this movie, especially with Shadow Generations to compare it to. Did anyone notice that Maria's influence on Shadow was really muted? It was there, and he clearly cared about her a lot, and I did like how they showed Shadow was alienated from the scientists and had doubts about his potentially being a monster. But Maria wasn't portrayed as sick, she didn't show any love for the Earth (probably because they changed the story and location of the lab, cuz that wasn't the ARK), and so she didn't really influence Shadow's taking care of the Earth after she was gone. Which sort of made her loss...pretty generic, in all honesty. Like, I know Maria was fridged in the canon material, but the movie actually made her feel MORE fridged in not giving her as much of a voice for Shadow to be influenced by and for Gerald to twist around and ignore.

Anyways, I think that's the negatives out of the way; let's get more positive now, shall we?

Compared to the previous movies, the dumb silly moments were actually weirdly enjoyable despite the cringe. Like, during the Eggmen's laser light show dance, I said, out loud, "I hate that I kind of like this," lol.

I was actually kind of surprised at how they subverted some of my/our expectations on how Sonic and Shadow interacted, especially near and at the end of the movie. To make Shadow be the one to Sort Of talk Sonic down, and then Sonic talk Shadow down, and then have Sonic be the one to lose his Super form and plummet to Earth, while still having Shadow "die" in the end...lots of twists and turns there! I did like their little quiet moment on the moon, admittedly. I knew it would probably happen, cuz Shadow needed to switch sides, and Sonic was gonna be the one to do it with the absence of the girls, but it was still nice.

The "Talk about a low budget flight" moment TOOK ME THE FUCK OUT??? Like, I did not expect them to go full reference at that moment, but OF COURSE SONIC WOULD SAY THAT THERE.

ALSO, I EXPECTED AN ORCHESTRAL REMASTER OF LIVE AND LEARN, BUT I DID NOT EXPECT THE ORIGINAL CRUSH 40 MIX TO PLAY AT FIRST, LIKE HOLY SHIT???? LMAO THAT WAS KIND OF AWESOME.

Anyways...now let's talk about the part where I actually screamed...which was, of course, the mid credits scene. Here's a play-by-play of how I reacted: "Oh shit, Metal Sonic! ...Hmmm...I'm a little disappointed, not gonna lie, since that's technically another "guy" character, and I was hoping for at least Amy...wait...wait a minute, weren't Amy and Metal Sonic introduced in the same game? wAIT-" *Amy appears, busting up the Metals with her Piko Piko Hammer* "YES!!!" But yeah, like, holy shit, fears of it being a trilogy averted! Also, since the end-credits scene confirmed Shadow didn't die, and is in a different locale than everyone else...and Amy Rose is introduced next movie...that means there's a VERY real possibility that Rouge is coming along too!!! YAY!!! Anyways, I rate the movie an 8/10 as a Sonic fan (different rating if it was for being a movie). Better than the previous two, which were a 6/10 and a 7/10 respectively. Not exactly what we all hoped for out of a Shadow story, but not bad in any ways, just sort of diluted compared to the source material.

[utilitycaster]

The Twins in the Feywild

or, the adaptation is good, actually:

The thing about the Feywild arc in the Legend of Vox Machina is that it's not just a simple condensing of 20-ish hours into perhaps one hour; it's also at a notably different point in the story, and is changed to reflect that.

[as a sidebar: I am not tagging spoilers for Critical Role Campaign 1, as the episodes in question are 5+ years old. This post does have a large number of them, and in general, if you are new to CR and found this via the TLOVM tag, welcome! My blog will have spoilers for the campaign.]

In Campaign 1, after the Sunken Tomb and the encounter with Kamaljiori (who survives in the campaign, incidentally), all of Vox Machina heads towards Westruun. Grog has his (also different from TLOVM, also condensed in a thoughtful way that may be discussed in a separate post) struggles with Craven Edge, and they all encounter the Herd of Storms, deal with them, and kill Umbrasyl. The episode after they have killed the first of the four dragons responsible for the Conclave attacks, Umbrasyl the Hope Devourer, is aptly named Hope; they then go to Vasselheim where Vax formalizes his relationship to the Raven Queen, and then deal with Hotis back in Whitestone. The Deathwalker's Ward's flight power is also activated. Then they go to the Feywild, together (though Pike stays behind again due to Ashley's schedule.) In general, Vax has made peace with his decision, and the party is, for the most part, much more optimistic than they are here.

Here, all four dragons are still at large, Keyleth's spell was interrupted, Vax is still on edge, and the last thing they saw was Pike, impaled on Grog's sword. They are doing far worse.

So, understandably, Vax is in a sour mood the entire trip. This significantly changes his role, as he's less able to offer support for Vex. Keyleth is also more insecure.

The episode in Syngorn in the main campaign, which was also, notably, Critical Role's first ever live show with the tech hiccups and nerves that implies, is actually pretty funny. We do get the twins' encounter with Syldor - more on that later - but a large portion of the episode is dedicated towards stealing hats and trying to find a threshold crest for Garmelie (with Keyleth and Percy eventually outsmarting him on a technicality, in true Fey fashion); and the party accidentally implying and then fully leaning into implication that they are polyamorous and need a room so that they can have an orgy. I've seen indications that Syngorn was much grimmer than that; while the twins were understandably frustrated with it, it was far from a dark episode.

With the caveat that I have not read Kith and Kin, Syldor Vessar is one of the characters in Critical Role canon whom I feel the fandom has the most warped perception. He is a dick, to be clear; but on a scale of living character parents, he is treated with a vitriol the far worse Howaardt Darrington and Thoreau Lionett oddly dodge, and it says something that Tary and Beau never to our knowledge attempt to interact with their fathers again, whereas Vex maintains a distant and at times contentious but minimally cordial relationship with hers. (It's not unique for parents in this show to be given the madonna/whore treatment, as others have noted, and parents who fall most towards the middle of that false dichotomy tend to bear the brunt of it - see the Calloways and the Gentleman - but Syldor's treatment is, to be honest, inexplicable and weird.)

In "Heredity and Hats," Syldor is not warm or pleasant, but he does, in fact, apologize at length for his behavior and accepts that the twins have reason to hate him when he offers his assistance. (1x60, 47:58) He also accepts Percy's correction of Vex's title in full, and indeed, seems pleased by it (1x60, 55:22). He is not a good person, but he is, by the time the twins see him in the Feywild, a penitent one. And, in this episode, Vax is the one who is largely unconcerned with Syldor, with the implication he's already given up on him and doesn't particularly care, whereas Vex is much angrier.

However, that's all very difficult to convey in TLOVM in under ten minutes, when Vex's upcoming showdown with Saundor hinges on her insecurity surrounding how she was perceived in the past and her ongoing struggles with powerlessness. So in that, Syldor is far more dismissive, and Vax, who is still, as mentioned, in a very angry place himself, is, well, angry. It is a different tack! It also is a very smart choice given that in a campaign that lasts hundreds of hours, the rule is show don't tell; and in an animated series that must compress this into a tiny fraction of that time, that rule is lifted. This is not a time for the subtle background of Vex's C1 arc. There is no time for the subtle background of Vex's C1 arc. What matters is that the adaptation is consistent within itself; achieves the general, for lack of a better term, vibes and major plot beats of the original campaign; and can reach an audience unfamiliar with the source material. We can't make Syldor fascinatingly complex and Vax blasé here, so we don't, so that we can understand why Saundor is able to cut so close to the core of Vex before she's able to pull away.

It's different! And, yes, as someone who does like something very long-form and subtle and show-not-tell, I do prefer the original! I also think that within the limitations of an animated show with 6-hour seasons, with the assumption that the Feywild arc starts here (that is, with Vax still where he is emotionally, Umbrasyl alive, and Grog, Scanlan, and Pike absent), trying to otherwise keep things the same would feel artificial and unsatisfying, and fail to serve Vex's story. It is changed to heighten it in a medium that needs heightening because there's no time for breadth, and you can dislike it, but criticizing it for not being identical to the original is a particularly egregious missing of the point.

(It's also worth keeping in mind: have you rewatched this arc recently? Are you even comparing it to the story as it was, or are you comparing it to the story you remember, because, like it or not, Vex's story was always very much about her relationships to Syldor, Vax, and Percy, and her need to be liked; her flaw was that she simultaneously desperately needed people and hated herself for it.)

[yuri-is-online]

Do the timeline post!!

Right so before I get cracking on this I want to make a few things clear:

This is all speculation and should not be taken as fact, due to how XP and stamina gain work in this game I will probably re-vist this post once I am finally able to work on Zayne's myths card (i am prioritizing Xavier since I have both of his as opposed to just one of Zayne)

For simplicity's sake this post is just going to be focused on Zayne, though I will reference things from the other boy's lore where applicable. He ironically seems to have the easiest timeline to understand, which is saying something.

I will gladly make a post for Xavier later this week when I am able to unlock his last anecdote, but if you are more interested in Rafayel I will have to direct you to this post by u/joonmin on the love and deepspace subreddit as I don't have a lot of Rafayel cards and lack the information they posted. I will say that he seems to have the most complicated timeline out of all three of the love interests, and that a lot of the information on that thread won't make sense if you have not read chapter 7.

Ok? Ok. Here is my best attempt at a timeline for Love and Deepspace Zayne: SPOILERS FOR ALL IN GAME CONTENT UP TO CHAPTER 7, VARIOUS MOMENTS, AND ANECDOTES, PROCEED WITH CARE.

I lied I have one more thing I want to clarify: yes there is a timeloop/alternate reality thing going on in this game. That is not really something that I think needs debating because that's kind of the genre this developer does, and the game starts off telling you that the deepspace tunnel is a spacetime anomaly. It isn't subtext, it is just text.

Current Timeline

The current timeline where the main story of LAD takes place is set in the year 2048 in a place called Linkon City. We are told that the Deepspace Tunnel opened 14 years prior and that is when wanderers started invading earth. There is a lack of understanding about why this has happened, and it has sparked an interest in space exploration in the hopes of finding a solution.

The hunters association is sort of like an adventurers guild? It's supervised by the government, and is sort of split between Hunters like MC and researchers attempting to understand what makes the wanderers tick.

This includes researching protocores, currently the only thing the hunter's association knows for sure is that they contain a great deal of energy, and that they can cause disease in humans based off of which category the protocore falls into. This is confirmed to be what is wrong with MC.

It is also mentioned that protocore energy is used for lots of things, in technology I assume. This will be important later so keep it in mind.

The "arctic" that chapter 5 is set in appears to be referring to the Northern arctic circle. The in game "spacepedia" says there are lots of energy fluctuations (and therefore wanderer attacks) due to its close proximity to the earth's magnetic pole. The epicenter of these fluctuations appears to be Mt. Eternal, where most of the research institutions in the arctic are based.

There seem to be sort of "fixed points" that repeat themselves within Zayne and Rafayel's timelines, and a theme of MC forgetting things. The lyrics to the opening theme even say "Time goes by but memories rewind" and while Zayne doesn't say MC has forgotten anything to do with him specifically, she has forgotten something about both Xavier and Rafayel. For Rafayel, the thing she forgets also seems to be his "fixed point": he and MC always meet when they are younger. For Zayne, he always hurts someone with his evol at age 12.

While there are technically three versions of Zayne and two of them seem to be aware of each other: current/Dr. Zayne and Dawnbreaker Zayne. They both started dreaming of each other at 12. It is unclear if either version dreams about Forseer Zayne, or if he is aware of them, but all three versions of Zayne are fond of jasmine. I haven't made much progress with Zayne's myths card, but it is clear that this like has something to do with MC, just from the little bit I have been able to read.

Dr. Zayne dislikes talking about the incident when he was 12, simply telling his friend Will that he lost control of his evol and hurt someone. He refers to this someone as a friend, and I might be a smidge delusional... but I think that friend was probably MC. If she's forgotten about it, Dr. Zayne might see that as "for the best" and not wish to remind her of it.

It would also explain why Grandma trusted him with MC's care and those secret documents. He has gone very far out of his way to try and not be someone who hurts people, and is obsessed with working himself to the bone to save as many people as possible. Grandma might seem like a sweet old lady... but we know she has some questionable morals so I could see someone like her thinking that since Dr. Zayne feels like he owes MC he is a good choice to protect her since he won't betray her.

The Fragmented Dreams moment is typically pointed to when talking about Dr. Zayne and Dawnbreaker's dream connection, but after reading the Never Ending Winter anecdote I don't really think it is. Look at what the nightmare actually says:

I think this moment starts out with Dr. Zayne dreaming about MC coming to visit him at work and bring him lunch, but devolves into him dreaming about what he did when he was 12. Dr. Zayne's dreams of Dawnbreaker as depicted in the anecdote are almost always related to his mercy kills, he doesn't seem to see the finer details I'll get into when discussing Dawnbreaker's timeline. The anncedote makes me think that Dr. Zayne sees Dawnbreaker as a sort of manifestation of his fears for himself; he fears becoming a killer, he fears hurting people, the only things Dr. Zayne wants is to save lives. That wish applies to more people than just the MC, he genuinely enjoys being a doctor and is very popular with his patients.

Beyond Dr. Zayne seeing his friend turn into a wanderer and being forced to kill him, we don't know much about his relationship with his teacher or the arctic. We do know that he still visits the arctic from time to time to help Dr. Noah with his research, and we can only assume it has something to do with protocores. I think it might specifically have something to do with humans being transformed into wanderers, but that's wild speculation on my part.

Dawnbreaker Timeline

The concept of Dawnbreaker Zayne is introduced in the annecdote Still In Dark. It is set in an unknown time and place, but it is confirmed to not be Linkon as Dawnbreaker mentions wanting to visit there, but that it was destroyed a long time ago.

In this timeline in this unknown city, wanderer attacks are so common that people don't really leave their homes. Most menial jobs (such as staffing convenience stores) are done by robots and most people find their entertainment through VR.

It is known by the government of this unknown place that prolonged exposure to protocores and their energy transforms people into wanderers. These infected can then kill and infect other humans. When Dawnbreaker Zayne was 12 years old, he watched his adopted father transform into a wanderer and turn his mother. He used his evol to kill them both to save himself. This is also when he begins dreaming of Dr. Zayne, though he is much more interested in MC.

In the anecdote he is under investigation by the police as a suspected serial killer, as he has been mercy killing infected people as they transform so they can't turn more people. This includes children, which is what Dr. Zayne ends up dreaming of in Never Ending Winter.

The police officer investigating Dawnbreaker ends up learning about the infected, and destroys his investigative files after realizing his superiors know about these wanderers. He wishes Dawnbreaker Zayne luck in finding a solution before things get too far gone.

This anecdote does two very important things. First and foremost it confirms/introduces the concept that some wanderers used to be human, and that this transformation is caused by prolonged exposure to protocores. The second is that it suggests that MC is not a part of that world's timeline. Why is not clear, but Dawnbreaker doesn't know who she is, just that from what he can see in his dreams he wishes to be loved by her. I mentioned that Dr. Zayne hates Dawnbreaker, but it doesn't seem that Dawnbreaker hates him at all. He likes to watch medical dramas, and seems to genuinely want to be his other self even if he is aware that's impossible in his current reality.

Forseer Timleine

I haven't made much progress on this one, so we are going straight to bullet points on things I think are relevant.

Each of the myths cards take place in a world called Philos. It is unclear if this place is a planet, a country, or just a city as each Myths card seems to have a distinct cultural feel and history to it. I am leaning towards planet as Xavier is an alien and refers to earth as if he is foreign to it.

Xavier and MC also talk about how Philos is dying in his Myths card because of the wanderers, and that the wanderers will eventually leave Philos and make there way somewhere else.

It is a commonly liked head cannon that Dr. Zayne became a cardiologist because of MC's heart condition, and while that still might be true I think it might be a sort of residual desire to help her from his Forseer self, as MC breaks into his prison to try and cure her heart condition, which is slowly turning her into ice.

... forseer's MC is a little out there tbh. Kind of out of pocket and honestly I love that for her. If I was told I only had 3 years left to live my reaction wouldn't be to break into the Vatican to see if the Pope had any reliquaries that could prove my doctor wrong but I guess we all deal with grief differently.

I talked in the original timeline about the fact that all versions of Zayne like jasmine, but I am noting it here again as he agrees to not kill MC if she can convince his houseplant to bloom. Did I mention she broke into his house? Did I mention she did this practically claiming to be a government official? Of course Zayne is just going to shrug off her antics, even if he doesn't remember it he has seen worse.

My last sort of point I want to make here is that Xavier has a bit of throw away dialogue in battle asking whether or not something is "immortal or undying." Forseer Zayne refers to himself as undying, and has an issue with controlling his ice evol to the point it should be killing him, but isn't for some reason. It is also implied in MC's dialogue he is being used as a tool by Philos, which is something she can't stand. As for why this distinction is important, as of this point in time, I don't think Zayne is aware of his life as the Forseer because he is not immortal, unlike Rafayel or Xavier. When the Forseer dies, his memory of his life will go with him while Rafayel keeps his and Xavier- Well he just hasn't died yet.

Dr. Zayne and Dawnbreaker Zayne might be aware of each other because they still posses the same gift that the Forseeer (allegedly) does, or it might just be because of their connection to the MC, or because of the rift in spacetime above Linkon. It might even be a combination of all three. Whatever it is, it's a lot less complicated to understand than whatever the hell Rafayel has going on and makes me wonder how exactly all of these various timelines fit into place.

When I get more familiar with the rest of the lore I will make a very pretty diagram on my white board complete with color coding because this story has me in a chokehold for no good reason.

Final Thoughts

While I was thinking about all this, an idle thought came to mind that maybe the three current ROs sort of represent the past (Rafayel), the present (Zayne), and the future (Xavier) even though all three arguably have some sort of past with the MC in their Myths cards. The mystery fourth RO would then represent an alternate reality in my deluded mind, maybe a split timeline created by MC's current actions???

I am doubtful that the events in Linkon city we are currently experiencing are meant to be MC's "origin point" (or whatever timeline she originally came from), but that just makes me wonder what the hell is. I want to know who or what caused the deepspace tunnel to appear. I said on another post that it probably has something to do with the destruction of Philos, and while I do sort of still think that I have no real reason to beyond a hunch.

[eyesore-boi]

MY EDGE OF SLEEP THOUGHTS

Usually I don't really do review posts, but I figured I should here since we need to get the word out more and I have things to s a y -

And yeah i know it technically already made it top 10...but it's going down again...sooo.....chop chop we gotta punch judge judy in the face again :]

SPOILER WARNING BELOW, OF COURSE, FOR BOTH THE TEOS SHOW A N D ORGINAL PODCAST, SO READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Mainly this is gonna be talking about all the changes they made in the story and my thoughts on them, comparing the podcast to the show, but most of them are actually pretty positive! So, with that said, let's start with one of the biggest changes, that being:

The Maniac: So I know some people are kinda on the fence bout this, but me personally I don't mind that they cut out The Maniac! I get some people liked how their was a bit of a threat at the hospital while they were trying to figure things out, and Dave having the big risk of loosing his balls (tho i love the reference they did with the radio that was great XD), but...I kinda think that went against the point of this apocalypse, of it being a literal silent killer and not being like how the end of the world is seen in movies of chaos and violence, so having the Maniac out gave the group more time to process the situation at hand. That and how it allowed them to talk more and really show the character connections, like the talk Katie and Dave had after he recalled when he carved the triangle on his chest (more on that later)! And sides, least to me, I always kinda thought the Maniac was...a liiiitle tacked on? Like, with the story always kinda relating to Dave and his nightmares, having the Maniac just be some, well, crazy fucked up guy kinda felt outta place. Like maaaaybe they could've related him directly to being on the elephant's side (the sticker on his van doesn't count, that was just foreshadowing), like he was an elephant follower and he was following Dave even before shit went down, but with him just being some guy doing fucked up things, felt just like a tacked on extra threat. (Also I always kinda found it a little unlikely Dave was so easily able to go on and do a buncha other stuff after being literally shot, but eeeh is fiiine i guess-) With that said though, with the Maniac's absence, it does lead me tooooo

Ruth: I actually really liked Ruth's addition a lot! Was refreshing to see one other person in the survivor group, even if you know from the get-go she probably wasn't gonna make it, but that's good for the story! To show us another person's perspective whose out of the loop, how everyone else around her is struggling to keep it a secret, and how she took the place of the Maniac's for the MRI scan was much more impactful, having more weight to the situation since she was innocent and just found out when she sleeps, she dies, and seeing how hard of was on Linda to do, just mwuah amazing acting all around, but again more on that later-

The Dream People: Another change that I actually like, and even prefer! Tbh in the podcast I kinda felt like the whale people/dream warriors were...kinda vauge on what exactly they are? I know they were probably gonna explain that more in Season 2, but i feel like they didn't really...explain enough? Like they were just some higher people/power, nearing a deus-ex-machina, the old man and his son (forgot their names sorry) kinda broke up the story for me whenever we cut back to them (tho i do love the cigarette bit between him and Dave, sad that didn't make it into the show), and i was fine with that but eeeh coulda been handled a little better, and it was in the show! I like it a lot better that little Davey was always dreaming about them alongside the nightmares, since to Dave (and to the viewers seeing this story for the first time) he wasn't really sure on who or what to trust, which only adds more to the mystery of it all! I also like how their home base is more clear and giving slight cult vibes, but hopefully with good intentions (again we'll see in Season 2), so looking forward to learning more about them, even if this time I'm a bit more satisfied on how they're presented!

Mateo: HE LIVED!!! :DD I was actually really suprised that Mateo survived the plane crash! And I don't think i mind that too much, tho i kinda prefer the podcast ver a liiitle more since it added a bit more to the hopelessness of the situation that literally half of the party was dead, but eh more people living the better! Plus I do think Mateo was pretty fun in the show, I liked him and Dave's friendship a lot, especially with him being with Dave when shit went down at the party rather then going home to play video games pantsless, and i liked how we saw him stand up for Dave for being weird, true bros (i also really like the hug Dave gave him when he agreed to fly for them, that was really nice), so I'm sure there's more of him to explore with his veteran background and stuff, so can't wait to see more of him for Season 2! ....maybe then he won't be so lucky oh god- :'D

The Moobles: So probably, like others, the moment I heard that TEOS was gonna get a TV show, there was one scene on particular that I immediately thought of that I was excited to actually see, and that was the fucking Moobles scene- So was I disappointed that we didn't exactly get that scene? ...Yeah, a little bit, but I do understand why we didn't get it, and what we got instead still served the same purpose well! For one, I'd understand why that scene would be a lot for a +14 rated show, even if there is some pretty good gore throughout the series, bit i get multiple self-stabbings can kinda cross the line, but another reason is...I just don't think they had the budget for it. Like- How would they do the Moobles? CGI? Puppets? Either way I'd love to see it, but I knew it'd be pretty pricey, so I get why the Moobles had to be cut, wish they least had a small reference like the Maniac did (maybe the Moobles playing on TV somewhere or a display case showing the "toy" would be cool), but hey, if we can only experience that horrifying scene in podcast form, well, I wouldn't mind at all! Still fucking horrific in sound form and I love it :'D And sides, I actually prefer the new change for Dave's scar this time around! Tho I like the viciousness of having slash marks all over his chest, i think the single triangle scar fits much more with the stories and is great forshadowing of what's to come, giving a more concrete, direct link between what Dave has gone/going through and the killing sleep going on rather than just the warning the Whale gave him before shit went down! And the scene of him cutting in the injury was still pretty unsettling even if not downright horrific like Moobles-

The Clock: The clock was....n e w - I do like the visual of it tho, since at first it seemed like it stopped and ticked back each time a person fell asleep, but i do wonder...why is that? Is time literally going back each time a person dies? Or is it symbolic of just someone's time being up? If that's the case, then why does sometimes it ticks back a single tick, while others it goes back several? (Think an example of that was when Ruth was bout to die but i think i may be missremembering) I still like the addition tho, just wish it was a l i t t l e more clear, that's all :']

Katie: So even if there are some slight changes to her (like how she doesn't have the cast anymore, which i kinda get, they kinda really brushed over that after Dave talked to her about it once in the podcast, so i get why it was cut), I really liked where they went with her! Course may be a l i t t l e bias since we knew Lio as Lady, and for both roles they absolutely crushed it, but- It was great seeing more details about Katie! Like implying more and more that she had a drug problem in the past and using her rehab advice on Dave was very fitting, and though it was sad knowing she wasn't going to make it in the end, still loved all her scenes! Especially the incredibly tense scene where Dave has to run miles to get to her house to make sure she doesn't sleep, passing by empty streets and sleeping bodies, and Katie (reasonably) hitting Dave on the head when he broke into her house, ooohoho that was good- And i remembered at first i was slightly surprised that Katie died in the plane rather than locking herself in the car, and at first i thought "Oh it's just to make it more impactful, for Dave to fly with his ex's corpse right next to him, so close to safety, yeah that's screwed up :/" ....then the ending cliffhanger shots were shown and ohohOHOHOHO THE SHOT OF KATIE IN THE WATER STARING DOWN THE CAMERA WITH TRAINGLE EYES, IMPLYING SHE'S GONNA BE A H U G E THREAT IN SEASON 2, OHOHO LOVE THAT SHIT-

The Dream Chamber: A new addition/change that I don't mind tooooo much, but i am a little confused on. In the podcast, little Dave's treatment was to be isolated away from society for 18 months with just him and his mom, nothing else as to not be used against him in his nightmares. And while here i can understand a little why they cut that (i mean each ep is only 20 mins so chop chop), the Dream Chamber scene was pretty interesting! The doctor was weird but i think that was the point (never trust a man with a bowl cut wig) since i remember there was one shot where there was an elephant ceremic (i think) in his office, and when talking about the chamber he had these strange flashes, one including a whale dying in a graveyard, so i think that's implying he's on the elephant's side and was only going to harm Dave more, thus why the Dream People made little Davey stab him in the neck (which i was s h o c k e d on when i saw, btw), but my problem is...we kinda never really go back to Dave's past after that? In the podcast, it was proven that the therapy worked for Dave so he could live out his life as a normal person until the Moobles happened, but here...we don't really know what happens after? Did the doctor die when he got stabbed? I don't think so since there'd have to be some legal trouble braught up because of that, and nobody mentions the doctor dying after that, sides it was just like...a kid stabbing him, so yeah it'd be pretty painful but maaaybe not that deadly. Did Dave get better after that? Probably not, probably is just prescribed more pills once he was old enough, but...in both podcast and in show it's braught up the concern that if he doesn't get the nightmare fixed soon when he was young, it'd lead to huge developmental issues, but Dave seems...mostly normal when older, nightmares and triangle carving aside. He still has a social life, albeit a small one, got a girlfriend, and even a job, so...did the treatment work? A little unclear, kinda wished they just just stuck with the cabin therapy, but it's an easy lookover, and maybe they'll elaborate more in season 2, so we'll just hafta see!

The Elephant: For me personally, i think the elephant monster face is kinda hit or miss under the right circumstances, like the first scene with the nightmare about Dave's mom turning into one, that one was real spooky and the flashing lights actually aided to it in my opinion, but...when it's just in broad daylight and on any person....yeaaah i can kiiiinda tell it's just a mask, hell i think it is the same one being re-used, but eh i think it's fine, just kinda wish they got a bit more creative with the elephant imagery to make it more eldritch and stuff like with the Whale, like that one shot of the Elephant being barely seen on the static on the TV at the party, that was cool, but it's fiiiine it served it's purpose well enough-

Baby Dave: Okay not too much of a tangent on the actual show, just something i thought up on, but...fellas. Markiplier community. More specifically, MCU community. We have an irl face for baby Dave. Ergo, we have a face for baby Mark. Ergo....we have a face for baby Actor, Damien, and William...I am expecting fanart soon and quick 🔫👁

Linda: I really loved Linda in the show! Eve did an amazing job getting across how intense and high strung Linda was, probably even better since we can see how stressed she is! Seeing her actual break down over Brit's death was great, to show she still is deeply disturbed and broken about the whole situation, and i think that was especially needed when she did the MRI on Ruth since in that scene she is crying, but with the knowledge she experienced the same thing with Brit, you can tell this isn't easy for her, but she is willing to do anything to figure out what is going on so the small group of people she barely knows can live. Also, MORE LINDA LORE OOOOO- Was not expecting that, for her to work in a secret government project before, but think it fits well! Explains why she's a little intense and weird, plus let's the audience know this truly can't be some government weapon since she knows of all the gov weapons in the works, so that was really cool to learn of her!

OST: MARKUS E. PLIER. AMAZON. QRCODE. S O M E O N E. YOU BETTER DROP THAT OST SOON CAUSE I W A N T - But for real i l o v e d the soundtrack throughout the series, it all fit the vibes perfectly, keeping things tense at tense scenes and heartfelt at heartfelt scenes, and those beats just mhmhmh- Also i adore the intro, soft, old music being used in a creepy morbid context with visual seeming out of place but once you watch the whole series it makes sense ohohoho gimmie that shit anyday- Speaking of...

Visuals: Touched upon this a bit earlier with the Elephant and the gore, but i liked the visuals a lot! Course i knew it wasn't gonna be movie level stuff or anything (some shots of the Whale are a b i t imposed at time but it's fine), but i feel like they knew what they were able to do, and did it to the best of their ability, and they did! I do love the gore, even if a little small, the brain cutting scene was amazing, very spooky, the funeral hallucination at the end was crazy with everyone bleeding out of their eyes and ears looked real good and intense, and the final shots with all the bodies waking up with triangles in their eyes oohohoohohohooo i loved that shit so damn much i am so hype for more p l e a s e -

And, finally, last but certainly not least, Dave: As to a suprise to nobody, least to those already in the Markiplier Fandom, Mark's acting was on fucking point. In every scene he was in, whatever he needed to sell, he sold it perfectly. Whether that be in distressed and concerned, confused and scared, angry and in dispair, he did it all perfectly, I fucking loved it. Like fuck- The scene where Katie dies, the desperation in his voice as he pleads for Linda to give her more adrenline, as if that'd fix it, having to be pulled back in his anguish, f u c k - And the scene before when he carves the triangle into his chest, waking up just in time to give an almost dazed, dead look to Katie as he asks sluggishly "what's wrong?", adding to the horror of his self mutilation. GOOD SHIT GOOD SHIT- My only "complaint" i guess is that i wished he had a few more lines/scenes with dialog, but maybe that's just wishful thinking since i'm so used to him talking on and on and on and on both in the podcast and just in the channel in general, but even then i couldn't be happier with his performance!!

Infact, everyone did fucking incredible! If you're reading this and you still haven't watched TEOS yet...what the hell are you doing go watch we gotta beat the crap outta Judge Judy BUT also go watch for the incredible acting, special effects, soundtrack, story, just EVERYTHING that is Edge of Sleep! It is definitely worth your time, it's only 2 hours so it's super easy to binge, and tho i am a little pissed like everyone else that Amazon/QRCode/Hollywood execs are tryna bury this thing so Mark/other well deserved YouTubers can't have their work be put more out there, well...we're showing them now, aren't we? >:]

TLDR: This is the best sleedge i've had in my life so go watch so you can sleedge yourself. Alright bye. *backflips then dies*

[osddid-i-do-that]

Just finished reading Elle(s), a comic series by Aveline Stokart & Kid Toussant

I’m struggling to find other people with OSDDID reviewing this, so I guess I’ll drop my 2¢ in.

There was a lot that felt really relatable in here — especially having an alter who goes completely quiet and shuts people out when conflict happens, and people you’re close to feeling confused and concerned by your completely different reactions to things. The art is gorgeous, and the visual indicator of the hair color changing was a neat way to show which alter is fronting.

There’s some inner world stuff that’s central to the story and while there are a lot of fantasy elements, I actually didn’t mind it as a storyline and a way to explain some of the amnesia Elle experiences and her general experience in brain space.

Where I start having issues is the explanation for Elle’s alters. I guess I have to admit, Elle isn’t diagnosed with DID or OSDD in-story. She’s technically (mis?)diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which, I think a lot of people with OSDDID will also relate to. That was a diagnosis I got and then had removed later when it was clear something else was going on). So while the narrative doesn’t explicitly tell you “this is someone with a complex dissociative disorder!!!” it’s very much in the subtext.

Which is why the turn in the second volume is … kind of a slap in the face? (Spoilers ahead.)

I kept waiting to find out what had caused each alter to split. I was especially interested in the personality who doesn’t speak — I figured there was an interesting origin story there.

Instead … the story veers off in the direction of, “Elle is the is way because she was actually several embryos who fused into one.”

Oof.

It doesn’t explore trauma beyond mentioning a kidnapping attempt when Elle was young (and not even delving into it as the cause of a split. It’s just a thing that happened).

It feels like the creators of this work may have wanted to do something else with it? Elle was supposedly adopted as an infant, but there are no baby pictures of her and no photos at all until around age 6. This is never explained. The kidnapping attempt is mentioned but downplayed. The ending feels exceptionally rushed.

It’s frustrating because MUCH of this story is very relatable, and the inner-world fantasy aspects might not be super grounded but they don’t completely come off as misinformation. But that chimera plot point (and look — chimerism in people is real and SUPER cool. It just doesn’t cause complex dissociative disorders) and the pacing issues near the end make it kinda come to a crashing stop.

I guess this means my search for good OSDDID rep in media continues …

[cosmerelists]

Shallan’s Murders: Ranked by Level of Disturbing

Shallan-murders-feature requested by @nerd-in-distress

[Major spoilers for Stormlight Archives!]

I’ve already ranked Kaladin’s dramatic entrances & the awesomeness of Vin’s kills. Next up we’re looking at the many deaths that Shallan has enacted, directly or indirectly. Since Shallan’s murders tend to be Trauma Personified, I’m going to rank them by how disturbing I found them.

#10: Bluth

We’ll start with the one that I find the least disturbing--in part because I think it’s the least attributable to Shallan herself. Technically, Bluth is inspired by the “Ideal Self” that Shallan draws of him, a drawing which motivates Bluth to join the fight against the bandits and die. So it is true that if not for Shallan, Bluth would not have been in that situation and likely would not have risked himself. But it is framed as a redemption, and I don’t find it particularly disturbing. 

#9: Her own alters

In particular, I am thinking about the Battle of Thaylen City, during which Shallan keeps an entire Thrill-infected army busy by constantly creating illusions for them to kill. Every time one of these illusions die, Shallan feels it, as though she is sending out parts of herself to be murdered, over and over again. I’m not going to lie--this scene has made me cry, and I do personally feel a sense of creeping horror imagining Shallan simply sending herself out to be murdered hundreds and hundreds of times. But I suppose these deaths aren’t exactly real, so I can’t rank this too highly on the disturbing scale. 

#8: The Coachman and his Parshmen

Shallan has a bit of a rocky start when it comes to being Veil and infiltrating the Ghostbloods. During one such incursion, she hires a coachman to bring her to a meeting and then makes him drive away without her to trick the Ghostbloods. Later, she finds him and the Parshmen murdered and his coach burned. Here again, it’s not like Shallan murdered them with her own hand...but she does cause their deaths, insofar as they wouldn’t have been in danger if not for her. But this is really the fault of the Ghostbloods, so I rank it as less disturbing in terms of what Shallan herself does. 

#7: Her Mom’s “Friend”

I have honestly always been unclear about whether Shallan or Shallan’s father actually kills this guy, but the wiki says it was Shallan, so I’ll go with that. This is our first real person who is killed directly by Shallan’s hand--and honestly, I find it to be the least disturbing of actual-people-murdered-by-Shallan. I mean, the guy was a Skybreaker trying to suppress the return of the Radiants by murdering a kid, so I really feel like Shallan was acting in self-defense here. I mean, it is disturbing for Shallan, though, so that counts for something.

#6: Tyn

Speaking of murders in self-defense...Shallan does directly murder Tyn, but this one is once again purely self-defense. Tyn was trying to kill Shallan at the time, and Shallan summons her Shardblade in a desperate act of self-defense. There is still a level of horror, though. Tyn was sort of Shallan’s friend, and Shallan’s Shardblade is Trauma Personified at this point in the story--I believe this is the first time we ever actually see it. I don’t remember if it’s confirmed whether the Blade is Testament or Pattern, but there’s an extra layer of horror if it’s Testament, aka the spren that Shallan killed and is now using to kill someone else.

#5: Ialai

Now, here’s a murder not in self-defense at all. Radiant just straight up murders Ialai and hides this fact from Shallan. This is after Shallan, Radiant, and Veil vote on it and decide not to murder her...but then Radiant does it anyway in order to protect Shallan from having to do it--and from having to know about it. Unfortunately, this doesn’t so much protect Shallan as it does cause her intense mental and emotional distress, as now Shallan thinks there is a spy among her friends. This is partly why Formless becomes such a big threat in this book. So while I didn’t feel particularly upset that Ialai died, this murder did end up being disturbing in its implications--especially the idea that one of Shallan’s alters could do such a thing without Shallan (being willing to?) know.

#4: Her mom

Shallan’s mom was trying to kill her at the time, and baby Shallan summoned a Shardblade and killed her. Shallan then became convinced that the sword was her mother’s soul, which was locked in a safe behind a picture in that very room. For a very long time afterwards, Shallan would believe that safe was glowing with her dead mother’s soul. That’s all pretty disturbing--from attempted daughter-murder to actual mother-murder to just heaps of trauma. It was still self-defense, but that doesn’t help much with how disturbing it all was.  

#3: Testament

The Stormlight Archive books are FILLED with mentions of the Recreance, that day when the Radiants betrayed their oaths and killed their spren. Of course, we eventually find out that the decision to break the oaths was mutual, and that the Radiants and their spren agreed to take this action (for reasons that are still not clear...). But there is one spren-killing that occurred long after the Recreance and that was not, so far as we know, a mutual decision: Shallan’s murder of her first spren, Testament. This is the spren whose blade killed Shallan’s mother, an act that so traumatized Shallan that she broke her oath, turned her spren into a deadeye, and then repressed all off the memories. Later Shallan meets Testament in Shadesmar for just an extra layer of trauma--her murder victim is still walking around. Maybe this will get less disturbing if a way of saving deadeyes is discovered, but for now, I find this one very disturbing.

#2: Grund 

Grund is the street kid from Kholinar that Shallan tries to help by giving him food, only to later discover that Grund is being forced to do this by the gangs, who then murder Grund in front of her while he uses his dying words to declare how much he hates her. Even though this is not a death caused directly by Shallan’s hands, I find it to be one of the more disturbing deaths attributable to Shallan--because it’s a kid, because he dies of head trauma which I find disturbing, and because he uses his dying words to blame her, which is a pretty big helping of trauma to add to Shallan’s already large pile.

#1: Lin Davar

Listen, Lin Davar is the worst, and I am a fan of him being dead. Nevertheless, I find this to be far and away the most disturbing of Shallan’s murders because of how it happens. First, Shallan uses the blackbane her brother gave her to poison her father. But it doesn’t work. Her father wakes up, and Shallan has to murder him a second time, this time by literally strangling him to death with the necklace he gave her while singing the lullaby he sang to her after she murdered her mother. And strangling is not fast--she has to persist and sing until he is finally, finally dead.

So congratulations (?) to Lin Davar for being Shallan’s most disturbing murder victim!