#so this 8 months is my EXERCISE 8 months

[bibleofficial]

RIGHT so yesterday marked 8 months worth of days exercising (240 days) and these are my stats

[ghostzzy]

feeling the angst today. my dad was like “try ketamine therapy” again yesterday and i’m like. in order to do that i’d have to get off All my medications. and in order to do that safely, it could take months. during which i would be basically nonfunctional. so do you want me to do that or do you want me to get a new job. cuz it’s one or the other.

[crimeronan]

i got a good grade in PT today AND i'm cleared to walk as far as i want as long as i do it on mostly-level ground :D

[autumnhobbit]

me: yeah no i have depression and anxiety but they’re fairly well controlled idk why i’m having such a hard time all the time maybe it’s my own fault i just have to figure out how to do everything right while i have time to do it

me: *sees graphic on facebook*

me: holy shit. it’s ocd. that’s it.

…..

why am i so DUMB

[andromedasummer]

fun fact once youve worked at a daycare/preschool the instincts it gives you never leave. i hear a baby crying and my brain muscle memories me into standing up until i can stop and remind myself that most people understandably do not want a stranger to walk over and pick up and soothe their infant. not my job anymore.

[agayconcept]

.

[galactichelium]

I will not do the exercises given to me by my physio, whether that be because I forgot or I'm having executive dysfunction, and then be like "Man why am I in so much pain?"

[torao-chan]

sometimes i let it slip my mind that my mum doesn't love me, she loves the concept of me. like, i never forget it, but it slips from my field of vision- and then.

then it get thrown in my face again, like 'here's today's catch- fresh tuna with a side of arsenic'. and it hurts. i mean, it hurts less with each slap. but still.

thats a whole ass cold fish hitting me in the face.

i don't think that ever causes someone not to say 'ow'. or at least 'hey, wtf man?'

idk.

bad day :c

in other news!!! got confirmation that my gender assx has been completed, and i'm getting a referral for hrt so >:3c that's something fun!!

positive notes.

gotta look at the positive notes.

[mejomonster]

What is it about internal pain that hurts so much more than external pain :c

[evadingreallife]

Me: owwwwie my foot hurtsssss

The physiotherapist: ok now move it dumbass

[exopelagic]

I know the world is cruel because I finally wanna draw again and yet I am forced to pack :(

[depresseddepot]

my cat's surgery is scheduled and the recovery will be. pretty intense

[vampiromano]

I did get close to this when I went to the Lollapalooza but it was just one day so the happiness felt fleeting at the moment and I feel like if I'd gone all three days I would've gotten here sooner BUT it was too expensive and I got here anyway so w/e idec im sooooooo functional agajn bitch im at my PEAK

[serkonans]

I go back to work tomorrow after 6 weeks medical leave 👁👁

[lettuce-gremlin]

Might need to end my boxing gym membership 😔

[mesetacadre]

(sorry in advance for the more personal ask, you're the most intelligent person i know of when it comes to these things)

genuinely, how are we supposed to find the strength to go on? it feels like capitalism has won. only a few decades ago my country was openly and proudly socialist, and now we're nothing but an american military base with an economy. everything's been privatised, the unions are broken, the people are starving, and we keep voting for more of this! people are gleefully begging for yet more exploitation! sometimes it feels there's not a drop of class consciousness to be found in the entire country, and that it's pointless to even hope for change. how can i stay sane?

The class struggle is not a team sport which either side can win or lose. It is a historical and economic process, one that's inevitable. As long as capitalism exists, there will be a social majority of workers it must exploit, alienation will still happen, and a portion of these workers will be aware of this fact. The class struggle is also a long process, one that, most of the time, is imperceptible to the individual in physical and time scale. Only sometimes, it accelerates to dizzying speeds and the conditions necessary for taking power are met. We can talk about victories and defeats, but we can't lose sight of the fact that those "only" are points in time, momentaneous advances or retreats in the process that is the class struggle, but they never mean the paralization of this process.

We can only really talk about the bourgeoisie taking power and creating the first properly capitalist states in the late 18th century and early 19th, but the bourgeoisie had lead or taken part in attempts at or glimpes of revolution as far back as the early 16th century. The bourgeoisie never really had an unifying theory of the class struggle, most were never really fully conscious of it. But they still eventually took power, once the development of the national economies advanced so far that it forced the replacement of the feudal mode of production, the bourgeois revolutions became inevitable. Marx and Engels only ever saw one real attempt at the proletariat taking power, in the Paris Commune of 1871, but it only ever lasted a few months. They both were long dead when the first actually (relatively) long-lasting instance of the proletariat in power broke the oppressor classes' veneer of invincibility.

When Marxists talk of inevitability it is not in a conspiratorial manner, or an expression of satisfied optimism, we never mean that "one day the capitalists will get what's coming to them", in a vague way. We mean that, only if communists continue to work towards the revolutionary organization of our class, is a complete overthrow of capitalism inevitable. We should all do an exercise is historical perspective when it comes to analyzing progress, take the Marx and Engels example from the previous paragraph, they never got to see an effective application of their theories. Class consciousness will fluctuate continuously, it always has. The bolshevik party in 1913 had nothing to do with the party that lead the October Revolution, and 8 years after the defeat of the 1905 revolution, I bet many felt like their work was hopeless. My point is that, while the borders of the Communist Party may shrink, grow, or even disappear, and while we might be savagely oppressed, no system of oppression has ever lasted forever.

When it comes to revolutions, there are objective and subjective conditions. The objective we can never control; it's the stability of capitalism, the characteristics of its suprastructure, if there is a crisis or not. The subjective is what's under our control; our own work as communists, the state of the revolutionary party, the degree of influence of communists at the core of the working class. These two sets of conditions interact with one another, with the objective conditions influencing the possibility of development of the subjective conditions much more than the reverse. What makes you hopeless is in part the objective conditions. Capitalism is quite stable right now (though not as much as it ever seems), and, for now, we can't do much about it, because the subjective conditions, the other part of your homelessness, are also very delayed. But these we do have control over, at first very little, but as they improve, the control we have over them also increases. Essentially, friend, all we can do is prepare our class, do our best to gain more workers to our cause, bit by bit, so that once capitalism shows one of its cracks, we can be ready to pry those cracks open and bust the whole system. The Russian soldiers in WW1 were already discontent when the bolsheviks began to agitate up to the trenches, Mao's guerrillas grew to an army taking advantage of the deep fragmentation China suffered throughout the first half of the century, etc.

Once again, class struggle is not a straight line that we move in two directions. It is a complex space. The overthrow of the USSR was a very profound blow to revolutionary organizations all around the world, of course, but the state of communism in general in 1995 was still in a much better position than it was merely 90 years prior. Every defeat also sharpens the tactics and strategies we use. Eastern Europe (where I assume you're from) did use to be socialist, and those worker's states were overthrown. But you are still in a better position than a communist in the interwar period, facing borderline fascistic dictatorship and a future of Nazi-Fascist occupation. They did not have any precedent or much practical experience to learn from, but you do. Every day that we delay work, even in the most hopeless of contexts, is a day more that our grandchildren will have to bear in capitalism, and a day more they're deprived of true freedom and self-government