#so there's just like nobody here
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The love/hate relationship with my coworkers is so real lmao like why are they like this
#not snz#I'm just having fun#tho there has been sneezing bc there's so much fucking dust everywhere#I've been at the station for a hot minute#bc most of our guys are still out on fires#so there's just like nobody here#and i like money so I'm vibing with getting paid for being here extra days#but there's just a few of us here rn and we have like nothing to do bc we're hardly getting assignments#so we're just fucking around#and i have like the first responder version of cards against humanity#so we're playing that to kill the time and it's great lmao#but also some of them were asking me random questions#bc apparently the answers and explanations you give say somrthing about you idk#it was some bullshit but we were having fun with it#but the way they were laughing at every single answer i gave like hello#you fucking asked lmao#the nerve tho when they asked for an animal i like and three reasons why#and then said that that's how people view me and scream laughed bc 'it's accurate' like bro fuck off lmao#but i am having a good time like i adore these guys#they drive me crazy but that's my second family right there#plus with all the free time we get I've been trying different recipes and so far no complaints lmao#made a pasta dish tonight that was a big hit bc literally everything was from scratch incuding the noodles#like that's how much time we have lmao#anyway tonight is my last night at the station then i can go home which is a relief#we've all been sleeping on the floor and couches lmao#there are bunkhouses but the women's quarters are unusable so we're all staying in the rec building instead#i told them it was fine and they could stay in the bunkhouse but they were appalled by the suggestion lmao#so we're all vibing rn watching tv and I've literally never felt like I've belonged somewhere more so I'm thriving#anyway I'll probably delete this later I'm just happy rn lmao
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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.
like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).
but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.
im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.
#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post#if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram#i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the#weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN#like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth#edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it#would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school#we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.
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Okay, but what if EoW!Zelda had to impersonate Link
#echoes of wisdom#the legend of zelda#loz#loz eow#zelda#link#josh art tag#the scenario i imagine is that nobody but zelda onows that link got got#and link presumably when on a whole quest to save zelda so people would know him or at least of him#so maybe zelda would feel the need to make everyone think everything would be okay#cuz look! links still here and taking care of things!#idk i just think its a cool idea and its one ive actually had for a while#a little while ago i wondered what the next loz game would be like and what i would want to see#and i of course thought of playable zelda#but i thought#what would cause zelda to be playable?#so i thought maybe something would happen to link and he would be unavailable so zelda would take his place#and then that idea fit so well with eow!#i think its fun seeing a zelda in the classic green. and the hat#imposter!zelda au
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You and me. Like old times?
#agatha all along#agathaallalongedit#aaaedit#mcuedit#marveldaily#marveledit#mine*#sd*#tvedit#wlwsource#wlwedit#wlwgif#agatha harkness#kathryn hahn#aubrey plaza#rio vidal#agatha x rio#excuse me but just you and me? just like the old days? hELLO!??#I will not make that parallel it's different here I WILL NOT I WILL NOT#i want to but i will not#nobody matches the level of insanity that thoschei is but#these two are doing great job so far
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Also I must know, is Fiddleford in the Monster Hunter Pines AU at all? I ask because I love him. He seems like the kinda guy who would have loved to stay in the lab and make cool adventure gadgets. That man was destined to be The Guy In The Chair.
I am obsessed with the idea of the Stan Twins and Fiddleford being a weird little trio it delights me.
Okay okay okay okay so my main issue with having Fiddleford there is the whole Emma May situation. We all know how highly Stanley thinks of family, and I don’t think he’d be too keen on this science guy abandoning his wife to help them out, so he makes Stanford make Fiddleford make Emma May come along and she actually turns out to have skill in hunting and such, so she gets to join the twins and gets to use the crossbow :)
This is also because the original concept for this AU was made on the idea that Stanford and Stanley make up much sooner (because them fighting makes me sad ☹️☹️☹️) and I don’t like the idea of Fiddleford still abandoning his wife (and in canon, his son, who doesn’t exist in this AU because uhh its earlier in the timeline) and I thought she deserved to come along 😁
Stanford and Emma May bond over Fiddleford, Stanley and Emma May bond over being good with weapons and not getting what their respective nerds are saying, and Fiddleford and Stanley can bond over Stanford I suppose HAHA
#doctorsiren#gravity falls#fiddleford mcgucket#emma may mcgucket#<- because they ain’t divorced here 💥#stanford pines#stanley pines#gravity falls fanart#monster hunter pines au#digital art#my art#procreate#doodle requests#okay but that little Stanford 🥺 he’s so cute I wanna put him in my pocket#carry him around and take him to my classes#I just also felt like there was a sore lack of girlboss energy in this AU#because sure there’s Penelope but like…she’s sorta confined to the water…#anyways yeah that cabin is like…TARDIS technology…nobody can figure out a cohesive floor plan so that’s my conclusion#and it will easily fit these 4 goobers in it 🫶#this is just like falsettos…in a way…and also not at all…#she’s giving a little bit of Della Duck energy tbh <3
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THE HEART KILLERS (2024) EP. 7 // EP. 8
#the heart killers#the heart killers the series#thaidrama#uservix#userrlaura#lextag#userbon#mjtag#esmetracks#userrlana#tusersilence#userbenka#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#tuserhidden#tusermona#fyeahthaidramas#tansgifs#gifs:thk#i've been waiting for 4 days and nobody made this so here i am. with 12 gifs#just so I could parallel the last 2 gifs of fadel and bison's hands shaking while pointing the gun at style and kant#like hello??? can anybody hear me?????????????????????#are we seeing this??????????????????????#the hearts did get killed man. they really did#kant's face in the 10th gif is killing me
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hi im back
#i didnt go anywhere i just got really lazy#as it turns out doing two art months back to back is not good for your spirit#you dont get to see the other one go fuck yourself#anyways back to your regularly scheduled murder drones stuff#btw if you steal my stuff again then you s Prepare.#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones v kinda#murder drones cyn#murder drones tessa#combining like 12 seperate headcanons into “tessa wanted to matchmake them but she sucks at matchmaking”#nobody here is good at romancing. cyn doesnt even know what a romance is#art#im so bad at posing i hate that fucking second panel i might go and redo it entirely cause looking at it makes me boil
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(guy who has never played cotl) haha au time
#this started as a design exercise bc i couldnt get sphinx/devon rex narinder out of my head#but the whole time i was thinking man imagine if the lamb brings him in as a follower but nobody knows he was actually. you know#and the followers are like haha wow our leader channels the power and wisdom of the one who waits almost as if they were them#would that be cool or what. anyway heres narinder reassuming his pre-bishop form and everything his flesh remembers before godhood#ok now im gonna ramble abt design notes#the singe marks were inspired by fallen angels like how some ppl say they burned while falling from heaven. i wanted smth like that when#the lamb is resurrected by nari.. their outfit is inspired by papal cloaks while narinders is based on crusader armor#the lambs name 'bellwether' is also a term used for sheep that wear a bell and lead the flock and i thought that was cool#idk what the thuribles do yet but i do have smth in mind where theyre linked together. and ofc the lamb has a shepherds staff#very proud of nari's little devil tail!! and it was hard to see bc its so dark but he has wrinkles around his forehead to conceal his#third eye. even he isnt aware of it (for now)#idk where im going with this au i just have a bunch of ideas?? basically the lamb is keeping nari's identity a secret from him so he doesnt#go down that path of powerhungry destruction. smth like trying to lead him down a better path but feels guilty lying to do that#also theyre in love with each other and theyre stupid pining idiots abt it. mwah#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl lamb#cotl narinder#the one who waits#cotl the one who waits#narilamb#art#au#myart#my art#character design#cotl au#false prophet! au
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I like the idea that Cross realised Killer was touchstarved (he didn't have the words for it but he noticed how much Killer would settle down from it) and started giving him very small basic affection. Pat on the back, hand on the shoulder, maybe a quick friendly hug, all things he probably learned through royal guard training and thinks of as normal friend/coworker stuff.
But as they both got more comfortable in the routine of it, Killer started instigating touches and he was not shy about it (like not just leaning into Cross's side during movie night, he looks like he's trying to get into Cross's jacket with him)
And that this more intense affection made Cross realise he might also be just a little bit touchstarved
Bonus:
#UTDR#UTMV#Cross Sans#Killer Sans#The cuddles are mutually beneficial#Both of these boys desperately need a little love and affection#Really I just imagined Killer hugging up on Cross so close it looks like he's a living blanket and I wanted to draw it#And then y'know what? Throw in HorrorDust cuddles too while we're here#Cross is nervous they'll find out he desperately wants touch and think less of him#As if he didn't just have the exact same revelation with Killer and nobody said a word#As if he isn't sitting across from people literally in each other's laps#It's okay he won't get rid of Killer any time soon and he's about to be like a barnacle on this man#So he'll get all the hugs he could need#I'm in a very sappy cuddly mood today it seems#Also I forgot the username but the person who made the ''we need more kross'' post this one is partially for you!!
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some silly doodles to take my mind off of things🕊
ref
#in the lower left corner sebastian says “step on me”#the rest loses it's charm with translation.....#и я не знаю есть ли за рубежом понятие автомата😭#sebaciel#kuroshitsuji#black butler#ciel phantomhive#sebastian michaelis#my art#sketch#nobody reads after the main tags so I'll say it here#I got my antidepressants prescribed today hooray i guess#knowing that I've been in therapy for more than three years by now it feels more like a sign that it just won't get better at all#like I somehow managed to fail in that too#I just feel so stupid
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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Hey I loved your explanation of breakdowns development with bumblebee! I was wondering what bumblebee was thinking at the same time though? Like while he was carrying??
I love this AU though!! It’s the only thing I’ve been thinking about! 😩😩💗
It wasn’t easy for Bee either lemme tell you…
Bumblebee has the capabilities of seeing good in everyone… and he is very aware of how vulnerable it can make him. He’s been manipulated before, he’s been taken advantage of due to his child-like optimism. He’s been… hardened to a degree because of it. He’s not a young naive scout anymore. He still likes to see the good, but he’s much more cautious of letting that blind him to the reality.
Except everything goes out the window when it comes to Breakdown.
Bumblebee doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because they were friends before the war, maybe it’s because despite everything Breakdown’s never really done anything to hurt him (at least intentionally)
Bumblebee is more aware than anyone how vulnerable he leaves himself by trusting Breakdown so wholeheartedly.
He knows how quickly Breakdown could give him a false tip and lure him right into a trap. And yet Bee would still take his words and trust them like the gospel.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t value his life quite as much as he should. He doesn’t want to die… but he’s been in the trenches of a war far longer than he ever experienced living at peace (if that’s what you would call the civil unrest that was slowly tipping into war by the time he came online) he’s a bit desensitized to the extinguishing of a spark.
He knows the dangers of getting too close to anyone when you could lose them at any moment. Of course, he’s always been a friendly bot. Most Autobots favor him kindly and he always enjoys other’s company. But he doesn’t stick around long enough to actually get close. He’s a scout. Traveling across Cybertron, sneaking past enemy lines. He’s alone more than not. Perhaps the only true companion he has was the bot always checking in on him at the end of the mission, the one giving him the next orders, and seeking his unlikely advice. It was easier to get close to Optimus… he was less likely to get blown up in a random firefight and never come back.
Which only made his attraction to Breakdown more confusing. Breakdown was everything that Bumblebee tried to avoid: Reckless, foolish, thrill-seeking. Breakdown threw himself into fights he wasn’t likely to win for fun. Breakdown didn’t value his life quite as much as he should either.
They both were willing to gamble everything because neither of them had anything to lose. And that just made whatever they had that much more exciting
They didn’t see each other often. Years would pass before they could catch a glimpse of the other. It didn’t matter how long it had been… how many friends the other had lost… it was like their unspoken connection was the only true consistency in their lives. Sometimes Breakdown would give Bee information. Other times they would just play cards or race. Sometimes they wouldn’t have a chance to talk at all, being in the heat of battle surrounded by other bots.
They got pretty good at pulling punches and staging fights.
And then the war “ended” and Breakdown was nowhere to be found. Bumblebee would be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed. He should have known better… of course Breakdown would have run, all the Decepticons did. And Breakdown was still a decepticon.
He’s pretty confident Optimus knows about their friendship at this point… or at least has his suspicions. But Optimus had also pardoned the ex-leader of the Decepticons so Bumblebee doesn’t think he has much room to judge.
Being sent undercover for over a decade wasn’t the post-war future Bumblebee had planned for himself. He hadn’t envisioned it would take place on an alien organic planet either. He could still remember a time when he dreamed of retirement and maybe he’d take up a “normal” job like the ones Ironhide used to talk about. He always wondered if he’d be good at something more domestic… if maybe he would have an apartment of his own to return to each night instead of recharging at whatever outpost was closest after days without rest.
Now he views those as delusional fantasies. He’s not really sure who he is outside of his title of Autobot spy. He doesn’t think he can be anything besides a soldier. (A hero… according to some people)
He wasn’t sure if it was boredom that triggered his search for Breakdown or if maybe he was just looking for some kind of company (he was used to solitude but it had just been… so long) but somehow he ended up at nearly every race he caught wind of. It wasn’t desperation, certainly not… he just… had a lot of free time is all.
He got close a couple of times. Breakdown was changing his alt mode regularly, Bee was sure of it. But still every so often he’d catch a streak of blue and white. Breakdown had always been faster than him…
Bee considered himself great at adapting to any environment or situation that he would land himself in, but nothing could have prepared him for his latest assignment… Sparklingsitting…
Why Optimus had pulled him out of 15 years of hiding for something so… mundane? Bee could only begin to question. He was convinced it was a waste of time. Bee didn’t know the first thing about younglings, there hadn’t been any since… well… him. And that was a very long time ago.
But after a while he hated to admit he found them… endearing. It was almost nice… it felt like what he used to imagine a peaceful life would be like when he was still naive enough to think true peace was achievable.
And yet… something was still missing.
Bee assumed it was the thrill of the missions he longed for. Considering Optimus was dead-set on sidelining him… Bee decided to resume one of his personal missions…
And thats when he finally reunited with the only bot he could ever consider his best friend. They had been apart for longer periods before… but somehow this felt different. This could be a new start. The war was over.
And then he lost Breakdown again.
To the same humans to claimed to be their allies no less.
He didn’t care how it must’ve looked when he demanded Optimus give him a status report on Breakdown’s condition when he was brought in.
Bee only got a lecture on how he was cutting it too close by getting involved with a race he knew G.H.O.S.T. was planning to bust.
So no, he didn’t really care what Optimus would think when he broke Breakdown out of prison. And he was only slightly hurt when Breakdown drove off ignoring his pleas of assistance. It wasn’t Breakdown’s fight… he had no right to be upset.
Of course Breakdown came through in the end… he always has.
And so what if they started meeting up periodically to race and talk and forget about everything else for s little while. Even if the times Bee had fallen into recharge in his arms and woken up alone hurt more than he’d like to admit.
Breakdown was quick to remind him, they were still on opposite sided. They could still betray each other in a moments notice… they both still had nothing to lose.
Except… that wasn’t quite true anymore.
Bee was carrying.
At first he didn’t do anything about it. Didn’t tell anyone. Didn’t even act like anything was different. A reaction he would later clarify was shock.
Then came the avoidance. The ticking time bomb until he had to do something about it was like a constant countdown in his head. He started seeking distractions. Lessons with the Terrans. Missions with Arcee. Drives with Breakdown. Anything to avoid thinking about the decisions he would need to make in the future. The very rapidly approaching future.
Breakdown was the first to know.
Looking back, Bee wished he had been able to break the news a little differently. He hadn’t intended to tell him that night at all… he wasn’t sure if he was ever planning on telling him period.
The reality of a sparkling was beginning to hit and for the first time in his life… Bumblebee couldn’t put himself at risk anymore.
And Breakdown was a risk.
It was supposed to be their last time… a chance to say goodbye, even if Breakdown didn’t know it. Instead in a moment of emotion, Bee accidentally let it slip.
He wasn’t expecting Breakdown to choose the path of caution too. To desperately pledge to stay by his side. To stop taking risks… to stop running… to finally face this emotion they’ve been dancing around for centuries
Bee almost felt guilty for assuming so negatively of the one bot he has ever loved, but then again Breakdown has never really done much to prove his loyalty besides never actually betraying him.
This was different though. This was their real new start. The desperation in Breakdown’s eyes, like he’d never seen before, was enough to prove it.
And he trusted Breakdown… because now they both had something to lose.
The hard part was convincing Optimus to do the same…
Bee is lucky he was always Prime’s favorite. Pretty sure any other bot could be charged with fraternizing with the enemy. And of course… the news didn’t go over very smoothly… Bee wasn’t expecting it to…
He’s grateful Breakdown survived to the end of the conversation, though there were a handful of blasters involved in the process.
But after the lectures and the disappointment and the numerous encounters of bots trying to convince Bumblebee to abandon whatever bond he had with Breakdown and allow the Autobots to assist in the Sparkling’s upbringing… Bee noticed for the first time just how hard BD was trying.
Breakdown never cared about what anyone thought of him. He never did things for the approval of others… so Bee knew it was his own decision when BD formerly defected from the Decepticons and took on the autobot mantel.
He’d never seen him more dedicated to anything before… and that’s when Bee knew. They were going to be okay.
He had only ever been a soldier before… he wasn’t sure if he was really cut out for this whole Carrier thing. Breakdown joked that the Terrans had been the trial run, and he had all the training he needed.
They both joked to avoid the spark numbing fear.
They had never experienced it before… not like this… the fear of losing.
Bee wasn’t sure when Breakdown became so… domestic. Sure, he still teased and flirted and ran his mouth. He still made bets he couldn’t win. But he also brought Bee his energon every morning, mixed exactly the way he liked it. And everytime Bee fell into recharge, he’d still be by his side when his optics opened again.
Bumblebee couldn’t help but be angry a little…
Why was he only now receiving this treatment? They’d known how they felt about each other for how long? How long had Bee tried to convince him to stay by his side?
But Breakdown didn’t need Bee’s anger to feel guilty. He barely felt deserving of the chances he’d been given long before this one.
And Bumblebee couldn’t bring himself to act on his anger… not when Breakdown was trying so hard for him.
For them.
Perhaps Bee’s dreams of peace weren’t so far off after all.
#transformers#transformers bumblebee#breakbee#tfe breakdown#tfe bumblebee#transformers earthspark#earthspark#tfe breakbee#WELP HERES ANOTHER WHOLE ASS NOVEL OF AN ANSWER LOL#guys i AM a yapper i fear#I THINK ABOUT THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD#breakcheck#tfe breakcheck#they are both jsut stupid and suddenly go oh shit responsibly#also ive been in love with you for 3000 years#everyone watching their absolute dumpster fire of a relationship like wow we are all surprised that worked out#nobody was rooting for them lets be honest 💀#it’s genuinely surprising to everyone that it worked out#but they are happy for them in the end#they both deserve some happiness it just takes them a little while to find jt
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you know, you know. no gods, no masters, no kings on pedestals. everyone is fallible. death of the author. you know! you are balanced about your intake of media - you allow the wiggle room, the grace, the gratitude, the skepticism. nobody above criticism.
but still. a weird gut-punch feeling, something akin to betrayal. you read the article. surprise! an author you love is actually: a serial fucking predator.
well, shit. what now. no, you knew he was a person (all people are), but now you're wondering - what have i overlooked by accident? what messages have i internalized that are strange and cruel? and also, like, what the fuck?
his actions lay a thick glaze on top of everything. like each place is now ruined, opaque in a new way. but okay, fine, you've done this before. you knew better, right? you've been betrayed by many a cherished childhood author.
still, this stickiness. fuck. can you pick up that book again. will you read it to your children. you've recommended it to others - will you ever do that again? and of course, of course, no parasocial relationships. you were theoretically above this kind of sentiment. but the artist informs the art, right.
so it's not something as clear-cut as feeling he owed you, specifically (a stranger) better behavior - just that you kind of, in a distant and odd way... sort of trusted him to do better. it's not like a real trust or something speakable, just the faint hope that the product (good books) was a thin representation of the soul. now it feels like the product (good? books?) was a mask. in some small or insignificant way, your previous support of this person lent them power. your money and your time and your laughter.
and the thing is - you have this terrible, echoing sensation. how many times will this happen? over and over. you find out that the singer you love is actually a predator. you learn over drinks that your favorite high school english teacher is in jail for what he did to her. you listen to the news idly and suddenly discover that a woman you used to idolize has been abusing her kids for an actual eon.
what can you touch without the static melting off. you can't even really complain about it too much (you were supposed to know better, and besides, you don't want the same re-split "it's not your fault, love what you love" basic advice), but now it's here. somehow, it feels like - you let him into your life.
it's not that things need to be pure or an artist has to be like, endlessly perfect, mindful. demure. it's more just this terrible truth that has been replayed through your veins so often it feels criminally vain. power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. did you want any one person to be worth that power?
it's just that he wrote books where he seemed to understand that. he seemed to know about hierarchies and unfair systems and bigotry and privilege. you thought they were books about what it means to struggle. you thought they were about having power and still using it for good rather than for control. he spooned you a narrative of being a good guy, a kind soul. you fucking bought what that fucking monster sold.
maybe that's why they were fantasies, after all.
#spilled ink#warm up#oh im .... sick to my stomach.#i talked to him. like ....... we talked. that man interacted with my poetry and writing.#that article.... gutwrenching. i am so sorry to everyone he's ever even been in the room with.#i feel.... like... unbearably. sick.#he acted like he was cool and friends with me!! we were cool internet writers together!!!!!#i feel sick for even having been polite to him.#i ...... am experiencing something so fucking complicated.#i wonder how many of u are feeling that too. like ''oh i sent him an ask and he was funny and sweet''#THATS HOW THEY GET U. ..... and YES I KNOW!!!#i am so fucking well-read about parasocial relationships. it would just be nice to like. trust that someone ISNT#hiding a huge fucking background of BEING A COMPLETE MONSTER. LIKE WHAT THE FUCK.#by the way i am not part of a fandom. this is “what the fuck i accidentally supported a rapist” not#“but my showww”. like i care far more about like. the human cost.#but also like... people are people. idk i saw a take on here about how nobody should mourn the books#and idk. people almost always reply to any scenario with their personal experience first -#''i knew him'' or ''wow i was just at that store'' or ''i grew up there'' or whatever. because that is how we establish connection &#emotional weight. that's just... a person thing. and there is a difference between 'oh this guy is a monster'' & the feeling of:#he's been a monster and i SUPPORTED THAT. i CELEBRATED him. i !!! a fucking victim myself!!!!!!!!! SUPPORTED . HIM.#i am sick. i feel so much pain for her and everyone he's ever hurt. saying ''the books are ruined'' is i think ... like how people say#they're shocked and disgusted by him. (obviously there's nuance here. im sure there's some creep doin it wrong. but u know. in general)#idk..... im an author. i understand my work is in your life in whatever small way. i understand that connection. it's real.
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2004
#fobedit#fall out boy#peterick#pete wentz#patrick stump#fob#anni edits#very sure someone has gifed this before but. watched this 2004 interview#and it's so darn cute#pete is so endearing here lol#love how he was right. he really did never have another creative relationship like this. he knew!!#also sure pete whatever equivocate and qualify away. you're still adorable ;-;#love patrick joining in to be like 'yeah he takes good care of me :3' lmao#anyway they've always been like this i'm afraid#also important to add that this was like. unprompted lol. nobody asked pete. he just had to tell us this
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to all people who said PART 1 made them laugh - i lov u 💗 this is for u
#look...i know it's been a month but hear me out-#guys don't yell he's really trying okay!!#NOT a mean ww truther bc he really isn't mean like at all#not in an intentional way#he's just stressed and embarrassed and tipsy here give him a break#he's swagless & thinks it's yet another reason he's unlovable (untrue)#dont worry woowoo vash also severely lacks in the swag department#but funny doodles aside i have other more serious art of them already posted + in the works#their understanding of each other ends up being so deep#but at the same time they manage to be so utterly stupid about it#how do they manage? i don't know#they just make me want to tear my hair out#you're important to each other!!!! get!! that!!! thru!! ur! HEADS!!!!#neither of them think they deserve what they want/need#i'm inconsolable actually nobody talk to me (talk to me please)#see using words isn't so hard. stupid fictional men#(she thought she did something with those tags)#times are hard but i stay silly#by that i mean i re-read vol 10#on the daily.#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#nicholas d wolfwood#trimax#trigun#tzarrz
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sometimes I get you shou yan on my weibo feed because of the overlap between it and frz so I’ve been enjoying the official human design sheets of their characters So Much. can’t believe those fluffballs are getting humansonas omg… I fucking love character sheets, these ones are SO FUN. super fun sketches, good personality and snippets of their characterization, cool layout and the human version designs are cute af!!! it tempts me to get into this series waahh
#the one L for me is that the fonts for their names are all the same. give em diff fonts to match their personalities!#ysy#you shou yan#fabulous beasts#tianlu#bixie#tubaoshu#tuye#i literally don't even go here i just like character sheets and i think these ones are >> full of personality#tubaoshu takes the cake for me. the dialogue bubble '吐宝ing' next to her hacking up gems is so funny. also her human design is cute#hope whoever is in eng fandom is having fun i will be thinking about these all day#my post#0 days since posting niche media nobody's heard of it will happen again
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