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satorusugurugurl · 9 months ago

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The Ghost in My Apartment

Summary: When you move into your new apartment, it comes with all the bells and whistles! Garden tub, balcony, and a sexy ghost roommate!

Pairing: Kamo Choso x AFAB!Reader

Warning: language, mentions of fire, death, ghosts, ghost sex (it’s kinktober play along), smut, unprotected sex

Word Count: 4.2K

A/N Kinktober day one: Ghosts! This was so much fun! Ugggh, I love him; let me bite his cheeks!! I hope you all are ready for a month of fun!!

For as long as you can remember, you have seen things other people weren’t able to see. Those things were spirits of the dead, ghosts. You began seeing these spirits at the right age of 10 years old. Your grandma often told you that it was a blessing, a gift, and one that you often ridiculed and hated because seeing ghosts wasn’t like it was in the movies or television shows.

Some of them were terrifying, mangled, bruised, beaten, and bloody. Seeing those kinds of things when you were still growing up could leave scars. Most of the time, you did your absolute best to ignore the spirits that you saw—until you were eighteen. Around this time, the ghost of an elderly man approached you. He was kind and gentle, and all he wanted was help. So, against your better judgment and your reservations, you decided to help him.

He only wanted to tell his wife where the key to their safety deposit box was. When you went to this woman’s home, she thought you were crazy. But her whole demeanor changed when you begged her to check his rain jacket. She had gone from cold and uncaring to a sobbing mess. She thanked you profusely, offering you money, which you declined. No amount of money in the world would satisfy her more than seeing a smile on her face.

From that day on, you made it a point to try to help any other spirits you encountered. Some were far beyond to help, becoming nothing more than a poltergeist. Most of the time, you were lucky enough to help those in desperate need find their way to light.

It was sort of your side hustle. Aside from working at a local bookstore, you did everything in your power to help those you could come across or help families who would reach out to you after hearing about what you had done for others in the past. But you did your best to keep that part of your life separate from your mundane daily routine until you moved into your new apartment.

“Yes, the last family that lived here suffered a great loss. The older brother of the family was gravely injured in a fire. That’s probably why the rent has dropped so much. You know how people are with the superstitions of the dead.”

Your lip twitched as you followed the elderly woman up the stairs to your brand new apartment, which you just found out had experienced a recent death, and that meant one of two things may happen. Either the spirit of the young man who had died would still be lingering in your apartment, burnt to a crisp, or he had moved on peacefully. You wouldn’t be able to know until you took a chance to look around.

It might take a few days, but you would eventually get your answer. Sometimes, spirits were still very much like humans. They kept their distance, but eventually, they would sometimes come forth and tell you what they wanted or needed help. You had gotten over your fear of the different appearances over the last few years, but the thought of seeing a person who had been severely burned in a fire was something you weren’t looking forward to.

“But aside from that, the view is beautiful, and your neighbors are nice. I do believe you will enjoy your time here.”

“I have a good feeling about this place. I’m looking forward to living here.”

The landlord gave you the key to your new apartment and a set of rules, like when your rent was due or what day the trash was picked up. These were the typical things you needed to know in case there were emergencies or if the power went out and you needed to call maintenance. Even after she had left, giving you all of the information you needed, you found yourself hesitating to open the door.

“Please don't be lurking around. At least let me get settled in, and then I’ll let you know I’m around if you need help.” You silently prayed to the unknown spirit if one was behind your door. With a twist of the key, you unlocked the door before heading into the apartment, finding it empty except for your furniture delivered and the boxes that had been brought in. Much to your relief, no ghost was roaming around exploring the living room.

Your ghostly roommate didn’t appear at all the whole time you unpacked and got settled in, which was comforting in a way. You had hoped that they had moved on, weren’t stuck to this earthly plane, and could spend eternity in paradise or be reincarnated. No one deserves to be stuck in the same place for all time.

You were sitting on the couch to watch a movie when you realized your hope for the spirit moving on had been a dream. While you stared at the screen, you felt the couch dip under the added weight of someone joining you. Over the years of seeing these spirits, you had realized that it was best to take your time and not make a big deal of their presence. Not daring to make sudden moves, you looked at the see-through silhouette next to you.

You would have expected it to be completely charred, seeing that there had been a fire in your apartment before. The spirit wasn’t burnt or injured in any invisible way you could see. Instead, he looked completely healthy, aside from a scar running down the side of his neck and arms. You were confident that if you were to remove his clothing, he would have burns elsewhere, but that didn’t take away from his at all.

The ghost was handsome, with dark hair tied up into two buns on top of his head, and a black tattoo had been etched into the skin across the bridge of his nose. Dark eyes were focused on the television. You could hear a clicking sound, most likely due to a tongue piercing, hitting his teeth. You had no clue who he was or his name; the only thing you knew was that this man was so good-looking. It was a shame that he had been taken from the world too soon.

“Fuuck,” you whispered, biting down on your bottom lip as you took another minute to look him over shamelessly. At this exact minute, he turned his head to look at you.

From the way that his eyes went wide, he wasn’t expecting you to be able to see him. But sure shit, you were eyeing him up and down like he was a tall glass of water on a hot summer day. The ghost scoffed, leaning back on the couch and shaking his head.

“If you're going to stare at me like that, at least you could tell me your name.”

“I could say the same thing for you, seeing that you’re in my apartment.”

The ghost jumped, eyes wide as he snapped his head toward you. “You can see me?” You laughed, nodding your head. The sudden realization had your newfound ghost roommate leaning back against the sofa, processing what you had just said. “Like you can really see me?” When you nodded a second time, the spirit laughed, running a hand over his face.

“What? Are you disappointed?”

“I’m a bit relieved. Death is pretty lonely.”

You frowned, finding yourself not interested in whatever was on the television. “I’m sorry, but I’m glad I at least could ease some of the loneliness.” You stuck your hand out towards him, Telling him your name, only to have him stare at your hand with amusement. “What?” The ghost shook his head, letting out a quiet huff.

“I think it’s just cute that you think I’ll be able to shake your hand.”

“Oh, right. I'm sorry. I forgot some spirits are dead even when they aren’t all that dead-looking.”

“No, you're okay. It really was cute. I’m Kamo Choso. Nice to meet you.” To play along with you, he reached his hand out, knowing it would go through you like his new form was with every solid object nowadays.

Much to his surprise, he felt you when his hand grazed over yours. Your skin was warm to the touch, and it felt like he was touching you. His hand didn’t pass through yours. It just gripped your hand, which surprised both of you. You stared at your joined hands in momentary shock before trailing your gaze up to Choso, who was just as shocked.

His eyes seemed to light up as his grip on your hand tightened. You couldn’t help but smile, eyes lighting up as you focused on Choso’s eyes, the way they trailed up your arm before meeting your gaze. There was a spark you had never felt with any spirits, let alone humans. It was, god, something you’d only read about in books.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Choso.”

That was the beginning of your extraordinary and slightly complicated friendship. You both hung out, talking like roommates, watching television, and getting to know each other. And the more you got to know Choso, who loved his younger brothers, went to art school and loved to cook, the more your heart ached. Strangely, you mourned the man you would never get to meet. That was a strange pain that settled in your gut.

Those thoughts often find their way into your mind nowadays. You sighed, lying on your bed, watching Choso float above you. He was talking about how Yuuji, his younger brother, made a hotpot around this time of year. He went on and on about how it would be perfect on an October day like today. But you were more interested in how his arms looked in the tanktop he had on. How he appeared, and you began wondering what he smelt like, what he would taste like.

Why were all the good ones either taken, not into girls, or, in your case, dead?

Choso was just your type, and it hurt to know you would never get a chance to be with him. Choso looked down at you when you didn’t respond to his question about whether you liked chicken meatballs. When he looked into your eyes, he frowned, finding them flooded with tears.

“Well damn, I just asked if you liked chicken meatballs.” He said with a snicker, knowing damn well that was not the reason behind your tears.

“I-I’m just sad.” You whispered, wiping at your eyes.

“About what?” Choso slowly floated down, lying on the bed right next to you.

He watched as you fiddled around with your pajamas, sighing softly before you rolled onto your side, gazing into his eyes. “I’m sad about you.” Choso reached out, cupping your cheek in one hand. The chills are almost calming in a strange way. “It’s not fair.” Choso’s soul ached at the sorrow that flooded your voice.

“Honey—”

“It’s not fair that you died too soon! It’s not fair at all.” You sniffled, finally losing yourself to the swell of emotions swarming in your chest. “It’s not fair, Cho.” Those cool arms wrapped around you, pulling you close to his chest.

“I know—but I don’t regret it.” His words struck you like icy rain that was colder than his touch. You pulled back, peeking at him as he brushed the hair back out of your face. “I died, but I managed to save my brothers. If I were given the chance to save them from a burning building, I would do it again in a heartbeat.”

You had grown to know he loved his brothers endlessly. That was a God-given truth. Hell, that was one of the reasons you fell so hard for him, a ghost, the shade of a person who was no longer alive. For him not to regret his choice spoke volumes of his character—a character you would give anything to love for the rest of your days and grow old with.

“Do you have any regrets, Cho?” You asked as the tears finally stopped. “Anything you wished you got to do or things you would have done differently.”

“Yeah, there’s one thing.” He said with no hesitation.

The straightforward tone of his words had you sitting up, interested in what he had to say. “What’s that?” Choso followed your every move, sitting up, gently cupping both sides of your face as he stroked your cheeks with his thumbs.

“Not living long enough to meet you.”

His lips found yours in a passionate kiss that took your breath away. You gasped into his mouth, gently reaching out and gripping his upper arms as you kissed him back eagerly. Once again, sparks, no, that failed in comparison to the feelings blossoming inside of you. Fireworks were a better way to describe the passion coursing through your body as you melted against his cold, see-through form.

Choso shifted, laying on top of you, the coldness a stark contrast to the heat radiating through you. The sensation, while shocking at first, was one you found yourself craving. So you gave in to those desires, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him tighter against you as you whimpered and cried into his mouth as he kissed you as if he would never get the chance to do so again.

You broke the kiss first, panting heavily as Choso peppered kisses down your neck, moaning and grunting against your skin as he slowly slid his hand up your shirt, trailing over your tummy before coming in contact with your breasts. You inhaled sharply as the chill hardened your nipples before his lips found yours again. Kissing you with as much passion as he could muster, making the most of his time with you, making up for the lifetime he would miss with you.

“C-Choso!” You cried out as he gently twisted and teased your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, taking in the way your body twitched and melted against him. “Fuck!”

“I regret not living long enough to do all this to you with my body.” He snugged, tugging your shirt off with your help. “I regret not getting to grow old with you, to be with you, take you on dates.” He made quick work of his shorts before you both worked at his pants. “I feel a connection with you, and I wish we would have met sooner.”

As you tugged his pants and boxers down, you couldn’t have agreed more with him. The time you spent with Choso this far has been great. You had a genuine connection, but it is only so far. He couldn’t take you out on dates or leave the apartment. So, in a way, you selfishly wanted more. You longed for it, for him.

And goddamn it all! You were going to have him in every single way you could. Hands moved, working with clothes while caressing and roaming over bodies. In all of your years, all of your previous relationships, you have never had a connection like this.

Choso shifted, looking down as he positioned himself between his legs. “You want this?” He asked in such a gentle, sweet tone.

“Yes.” You whispered, grabbing a handful of his hair and bringing him down to your mouth, where you kissed him. “I want you.”

Not hesitating in the slightest, Choso moved, pushing that of his cock into your wet and willing pussy. You gasped, eyes going slightly wide at the cool sensation of him sliding inside of you. It was like temperature play but better. Choso growled in the back of his throat, a sound that chills up your spine. You want to hear more of the sounds he would make. You wanted all of him at once.

Not wanting to wait around or hesitate, you began to rock your hips up, pushing him further inside of you. The ghost above you shivered, falling slightly on top of you, but he braced himself on his arms to not crush you. There is a certain satisfaction in the way that you rolled your hips against him and how he reacted to your slightest touch.

“Holy fuck—Honey, that feels so good.” He whispered as he fisted the sheets, his cock throbbing inside of you. “P-please don’t stop.” he banged as you both began rocking and rolling against each other in the most sinful of ways.

You shuddered, gripping his arms as you rocked against him faster. Arching off the bed, the head of his cock hit all of the right spots deep inside of you, drawing out the pleasure, drawing out sounds from your that you had never heard before. It was perfect; Choso knew every part of your body, like where to kiss and how to move. There was a spark, a connection, and it made your heart ache because you knew you were meant to be together.

That realization, the truth, hurt so bad it killed you. You wanted to cry to curse the world for taking him from you before you two even met. The pain almost overrode the pleasure, but it was Choso’s kisses that made you release the grip of sorrow you were slowly clutching onto.

“I love you.” His voice was as smooth as honey. “I love you so damn much.”

You kissed him, slowly losing control of your rocking and gripping, allowing Choso to take the lead. He gripped the sheets, holding onto them as he slammed into you, rocking the bed, causing the sweetest sounds of pleasure to leave your mouth. Those sounds were like music to his ears as he shuddered, losing his self-control.

“C-Cho! L-love you!” you cried out, gripping his arms tighter. “L-love everything about you!”

Lips connected again as the room seemed to spin, and the bed creaked louder with each powerful thrust. Your moans grew louder, and the sound of skin slapping against your skin grew louder as your head writhed against the pillow. Choso cupped your breasts, squeezing them as the coil in your abdomen tightened, growing tighter and tighter, making your toes curl as you gasped out loud. Choso knew you were close.

You didn’t have a chance to warn him because he fucked into you, stealing the words from you. The orgasm was so intense you screamed, gripping onto him, crying out his name as you soaked his form and the sheets underneath you. Watching you come undone, crying out his name, had a warmth growing in his chest, one he hadn’t felt in so damn long.

Choso felt himself release, hips stilling as the overwhelming pleasure had him throwing his head back. God, he wished he was alive; he wanted to be inside of you, filling you up, making love with you. But he was sure these were fragments, memories of the past allowing him to remember what it felt like, but this felt so much better. This was real and true, but also painful because he could never be with you however he wanted.

“Cho~” your breathy whisper drew him back to the present, “mhmm~”

“You’re so perfect.” He whispered, pulling the sheets over your bare body. “I would have loved you in so many ways.”

You hummed, cuddling into his body, humming as the chill cooled your body down. “You already do, and I love you too.” Choso frowned, stroking your air as you slowly fell asleep in his arms.

That familiar warmth settled in his chest, and he knew it was his time to go. There was a voice calling him, a light drawing him in. He didn’t want to leave you, but the warmth in his chest grew hotter and hotter, and the once solid form you could touch was nothing more than air. Choso frowned, watching your arm slip through his body, landing on the mattress below you.

Choso sighed slowly, sliding out of the bed. He approached the balcony where the bright light was waiting for him, calling his name. But before he stepped outside into it, he took one final look over his shoulder, smiling sadly at your sleeping form.

“I’ll see you in the next life. I love you.” Choso stepped into the light with a gulp, leaving the apartment behind.

The following morning, you woke up, not finding Choso anywhere. You searched and called out his name for close to an hour before coming to the sudden and cold reality that Choso was gone. Part of you was happy that he could move on and find his peace, but the selfish part of you wished he would have stayed. But what you wanted didn’t matter; he was gone, hopefully at rest now, leaving you to mourn a man and relationship that never was.

That pain sat in your stomach like a rock, weighing you down for weeks. You tried to find joy in the little things in life. Reading your favorite books, watching your comfort movies, and making your favorite foods. But nothing seemed to fill the void your ghost roommate left behind.

This went on for a few months, and you finally started feeling like yourself again. The pain was still there, of course, but it no longer weighed you down like a ton of bricks. You felt more relaxed leaving the apartment, finally healing. You were less sad about Choso finding peace and more happy that he was finally at rest.

His warm, dark eyes were on your mind as you pulled out some cookies from your oven when there was a knock on the door to your apartment. You hummed, taking off your oven mitts and opening the door to find a young man with tufts of pink hair staring down at you. He smiled, bright eyes twinkling as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his yellow hoodie.

“Hi! Sorry to bother you. My name is Itadori Yuuji, and I used to live here.” He swayed back and forth, pursing his lips together in thought. “I uhm—well, my brother told me about a fire safety box he hid in one of the vents, so we came to collect it if that’s okay.”

“Oh,” this was Yuuji, Choso’s younger brother. Finally, getting to see the young man in person felt surreal. “Uhm—”

“If it’s not a good time, I can come back later.”

“No, no, sorry, uhm, I just—it’s nothing. Please come inside.”

Yuuji grinned, nodding his head, turning towards the stairs. “Hey, bro! She said it was okay!” You stepped further into your apartment, hugging yourself as Yuuji took his shoes off. “My brother is right behind; he just takes longer to climb the stairs.” The clanking of a can hit the floor as a shadow stretched out across the floor.

“I just got out of the hospital. I think that’s a valid excuse.” That voice, you knew that voice. “I’m sorry for the intru—” That voice you loved, the one you thought you would never hear again, trailed off. “Have we met?”

Kamo Choso, the ghost you had fallen in love with, stood in front of you, very much alive and well, gripping a cane. He had burn scars just like his ghostly form, but he was here, solid, and no longer saw thought. Seeing him, hearing him, and smelling the musky scent of spices and amber had your heart crawling up your throat as you stepped forward. Your eyes frantically searched his face, making sure he truly was there, alive and standing in front of you.

“Not formally.” You whispered, grinning as tears blurred your vision as a certain softness crept into his features. You held your hand out, telling him your name with a smile.

Much like the first time you met, Choso stared at your hand with tears in his eyes before he took it. This time, instead of being like ice, it was as warm as could be. That sensation had him smiling as he shut his eyes as if this wasn’t the first time you had met but a reunion.

“I’m Kamo Choso, it’s nice to meet you.”

“I couldn't agree more.” you motioned towards the kitchen. “Well, Choso, could I offer you some cookies?”

“I like the sound of that. But in exchange, would you let me take you to dinner sometime.” His grip on your hand tightened. “I can’t get over this feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

“Maybe from a dream.”

Choso beamed down at you finally releasing his grip on your hand as he followed you into the kitchen. “Well, I hope that dream becomes a reality.” You bit down on your bottom lip with a knowing smile. That dream was going to become a reality because this was a love that transcended both life and death.

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks @reap3erslov3 @wil10wthetree @msniks @lana18918

Kinktober Tag List:

@candy-s72

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inkydesire · 4 months ago

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A Sirens Heat

warnings. fem!reader, boyfriend!rafayel, fluff, oral (fem. receiving), massage, slight breeding kink, unprotected, scent fixation. wc. 5.2k

Part 1

Some things just happened for some people and that you were able to enjoy a sunset on a tropical island definitely wasn’t in your bingo cards. Ever.

While you were lying on a canopy on the private balcony that was part of the bungalow Rafayel had booked for a week. You couldn’t think dreaming would be as amazing as this. Basking in the sun without a worry for once in your life.

A sigh escaped as you stretched your legs and wiggle with the toes, enjoying the shadows and the soft wind that caressed your still wet skin from your swim a few minutes ago. The white curtains billowing in the seabreeze, making this scene look like you only knew out of movies. But it was also highly calming and you dozed off a little while later.

You didn’t even know how long you have been lying there in and out of a light sleep. At some point you thought hearing your name being called out, but you were just too relaxed to even lift your head. Not that you had to be worried about someone interrupting your relaxed state, besides one person. That person obviously decided to come back from the main hotel, where he wanted to make some arrangements regarding your stay.

It took him longer than he thought, but as soon as he stepped into the pleasant temperature of the bungalow and didn’t find you, he first thought you might be gone for a swim. What he didn’t expect was you, dozing on the canopy half naked, our bikini leaving nothing to the imagination, your curves on full display making not only his fingers twitch in anticipation. A plan forms in his mind and he is glad that there were no other reservations booked for today, because you wouldn’t be going anywhere. He would be making sure of that.

His first step of that was that he went to the bedroom and making sure, that everything he ordered for, even before the trip, was being delivered. He crouched down in front of the sideboard at the wall and opened the drawers until he found what he searched for. A small package was tucked into the corner and he pulled it out, before he pulled out it’s contents and put the dark blue flask on the bedside table.

He disposed of the package and then took off the shirt he was wearing. For what he had in mind it definitely didn’t include any part of clothing, so the next thing he got rid of was his pants. Completely naked he walked back in the direction of the balcony, where you were still dozing and took a moment to admire your curvy body stretched out like this in front of his eyes.

You were still unaware that he stood there and was was playing on his mind on the sight of you. But you were about to find out, as he climbed to you on the canopy, coming to a stop kneeling between your slightly spread legs.Not even that made you stir, but as soon as his hands touched your calves, a content sigh escaped you as you blinked open your eyes. „I see, sleeping beauty is awake“, Raf teased you in his natural manner and you can hear the smirk in his voice, making you huffing out a breath.

You looked over your shoulder and wanted to turn around so you could see him, but a firm hand on your hips stops you. „Didn’t know it would take you this long...“, you answered him chuckling, before stretching catching him staring in the progress. „So I had not much to do besides swimming and lying around. I mean, you weren’t here.“ Your words hold a dare and you knew exactly, that was, what would make him tick. As soon his blue-pink gaze met yours and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes could be seen, you knew you had him. But his smile told you a complete different story. Part of exactly this encounter, was a plan.

Rafayel was always a bit of a mess, but when something caught his attention, he went for it. Nothing this man did was done in half measures. Still looking over your shoulder, you let your eyes travel south, over his chiseled chest and stomach, seeing the muscles ripple in his arms as he caresses your calves, wandering higher to massage the base of your thighs. Your bit your lip and reveled in the feeling he started to trigger in your body and you finally realized, that the purple haired man behind you was completely naked, his half-hard cock jutting out proudly.

„But I am here now, cutie“, he says in this bratty way of his, with a wink and his smirk grows wider. „And you and I won’t go anywhere for today. I have some plans.“ His words held a promise and his voice had this sensual edge to it that you loved so much. This man was what the word duality would be described in a dictionary. You never knew which side of his you got to see, as there was so much to him and right know it seemed he was in the mood to claim you and not letting you out of his reach.

His hands wandered higher and his grip tightened until he gripped your ass, not too hard, but the way he did left out any question, what would happen between you.

„And what are those plans?“ Chuckling he shook his head and moved on with massaging your round buttcheeks, inching a little higher and then gripping your hips, turning you around finally. Before you could even could think clearly or doing something, he had you lifted into his arms and stood up to walk inside. „Would it be a surprise if I would tell you? But I will spoil you until you beg me to stop.“

With a small bow of his head, his soft lips found yours in a sensual kiss, that would knock you off your feet completely, if he wouldn’t hold you in his arms. You didn’t even notice him carrying you to the bedroom. Only when he laid you down on the soft bed, you know where you are, still hanging on his lips, kissing each other like you were starved for it. Until Rafayel bites softly into your lower lip but not yet distancing himself as he leans over you.

„Then make me beg ...“, you whispered against his mouth wanting to close the gap again, but he just chuckled softly and there was a challenging glint in his eyes. „Be careful what you wish for, cutie.“ After those words he made short work of your bikini top, throwing it on the floor next to the bed, leaving your chest bare. His fingers find your skin again, cupping both of your breasts in his warm hands, grazing his thumbs over your puckering peaks coaxing a sigh from your throat. The position you’re in, would allow you to touch him as well, but obviously he had other plans with you. „Ah ah ... keep your fingers to yourself. My turn.“

He lightly pressed one of his hands against your sternum and pushed you back into the matress, but not for long before he flipped you over, so you laid on your stomach, like when you were on the canopy. „Make yourself comfortable“, was the next he said and without questioning you pulled a pillow closer, so that you could lay your head on it. You learned a long time ago, that never knew what came next with him and you accepted it. But still, the tension cackled in the air, the suspense making you restless. Warm fingers gliding against your skin, lifting your hips ever so slightly and pulling down your bikini panty, while leaving kisses und little bites in its wake. He made you shivering, full body shivers and a soft moan slipped out followed by a pleased chuckle of his.

„Oh I am going to enjoy this“, his voice sounded rougher than before, slightly deeper and she imagined that his eyes were even more radiant now like always when he was in this mood. You itched to see it, but that had to wait for a bit, because as soon your panty was gone, he leaned over you, pressing a soft kiss to my shoulder. He enjoyed having me at his every whim right now. When he reached out to the bedsidetable, you followed his hand with your eyes and saw a small dark blue bottle with a liquid in it. Something you never saw so far, so it had to be new. Before you could even think more about it, his warm breath fanned against the shell of your ear and tracing it with the tip of his tongue, biting it softly and sending another shiver through your body.

„I had it made for this occasion.“ His voice was barely above a whisper and carried still so much sensuality in it, that you sucked in your breath. You knew exactly how obsessed Rafayel was with scents, especially those which you chose to wear, so every now and then he pulled a joker out of his sleeve. Being a well connected artist came with his percs and the stuff he gifted you, was always meant to highlight every aspect of you. Even if he sometimes reacted with jealousy as you got compliments from other men as well, but that was always soothed as soon you two were alone.

He opened the bottle and held it unter your nose. As soon the irresistible warm and simultaneously dark fragrance hit your scent buds you closed your eyes. „It smells amazing.“ Your words barely came out, as you felt a soft kiss press against your lips. „And it will be even more amazing, when I rub the oil all over your body.“ You could hear the anticipation in his voice. He could hardly wait to get started and as he sat up his free hand moved over her spine, the touch gave you goosebumps. „Fuck, I love how responsive you are to my touch.“

The shift on the matress told you, that he had straightened up and a few seconds the first drops of oil were dripping on your skin, along your spine. It was warm and you guessed that he had warmed the flask with his Evol, so that it wasn’t startling you. He wouldn’t want you to tense up, at least not in that way. With his free hand, he starts to spread the warm oil and as soon he did, the air around you started to smell like a cloud of all the sins in the world. His hand gliding over your skin felt so good that you closed your eyes and sighed, biting your lower lip. It wasn’t the first time Rafayel spoiled you and gave you a massage. But this time, there was a complete different intent behind it. He planned this, researched and created something was plain perfect.

At first his hands felt as if they where barely touching you, but the more oil landed on your skin, the more pressure you felt. Fingers digging softly in your skin, findind some of the tense muscles that had built up over some time. As if he knew exactly where he had to work out those spots. Had he maybe seen you flinch at some movements, or was it just, that he watched your every move, whenever you were close? Either way you soften more and more under his touch, closing your eyes.

„No wonder, when you touch me like that“, you tease him and bit your lower lip, when his hands moved lower and lower, until he slid them over the curve of your ass and gripped both sides a little harder. A low chuckle could be heard and you felt a light shift on the matress. Instantly you missed his body warmth, when he pulled back a little, but what you didn’t expect was the sharp sting of a bite in one of your butt cheeks, that turned into a tingeling sensation as he pressed a kiss on the same spot. Rafayels hot breath fans over your skin as he presses more kisses onto your skin. „Then lets see how far you can go without begging.“ You can hear that his voice sounds even rougher now, breathy and you know on instinct, why he had distanced himself a little from you. His control already took a good hit and you know it is because of this intoxicating scent from the oil, now mixed with your own, that is driving him insane.

„Are you sure it will be me begging?“ As much you like it when the purple haired man took action in his own hands and showed you exactly how obsessed he was with you, there was also his other side, which had him begging for your attention until you gave in and he ripped all your resolve to shreds within minutes, giving you everything you asked for and then some. A sly grin formed on your lips and as much you wanted to look over your shoulder, you could imagine what he would look like right now. The rosy flush on his cheeks and his ears, hiis pink and blue eyes a shade deeper, burning with desire. You know you were right the second his touches grew even more intense. This time when the oil met your skin, it was slightly warmer than before, a testimony to his slipping control. „Please, as if I have you in my hands now.“

God how you loved his cunty behavior in situations like this, when you could slap him in others. His hands massaged your ass cheeks thoroughly, his fingers slid between them again and again, teasing and causing your pulse to skyrocket. You gasped and shuddered under his onslaught, because that massage just took a turn you didn’t expect so fast to happen, not that you would complain about it ever. The way you were lying down, with your legs spread and him kneeling in between, there was no way, he couldn’t see how aroused you got and pretty fast at that. Especially when his fingers slid over your pussy lips with the next move, slid teasingly between them and stoked your already swollen clitoris a few times.

But as quickly as the touch came, it was gone again, but your abdomen tightened with desire as you moaned again. You could feel the moisture gathering between your legs, but you wanted to delay the moment a little longer. Just because of the teasing before, who would beg who first. You didn’t want to begrudge him this small victory. That’s why you bit your lower lip.

Rafayel took advantage of this moment and began to rub your legs with oil before he also began to massage them with sensual touches and here, too, he knew exactly what to do. He stroked the outside of your thighs, only to move back up on the inside, repeatedly touching your pussy. You could tell from his rapid breathing and groaning that he wouldn’t last much longer either.

„Fuck“, he let out after a while and you could feel his hands trembling slightly on your thighs. You heard the vibration and the deepening of the tone in his voice. Together with the slight rasp, it made a combination they had heard a few times before. At least once a month, during the day of the ebb and flow. But that wouldn’t happen for a few days, or so you thought. „Raf? Is everything okay?“, you asked, about to turn around, but suddenly you felt a hand between your shoulder blades. „Don’t move, cutie. Or I won’t guarantee anything.“

His breathless voice sends a shiver down your spine and you reach for the sheet. Despite the warning and the hand on your back, you try to sit up or at least turn around. But he doesn’t let up in the slightest, so you at least turn your head so you can look at him.

Your eyes immediately met his bright blue ones, looking at you with an intensity that took your breath away for a moment, and you drew in your breath sharply. You could see exactly how hard he was trying to control himself, but the transformation had already begun, and there were patches on his skin covered in blue scales. Around his ears you could see the glow that represented his fins. His chest rose and fell with his rapid breaths. „Why can’t you ever listen to me?“ came the powerful voice he only had when he was halfway transformed into his siren self. He drew in his breath sharply and closed his eyes, probably a last ditch effort to calm down. You had the impression that he was losing the fight more and more every second, however, as his size had also changed a little and the way he towered over you was telling you that his resolve had finally cracked. „Fuck“, he cursed again and shook his head, but when he opened his eyes again after another deep breath, his expression changed. Pure unabashed hunger.

In the next breath, he grabbed your hips and pulled your ass a little higher before leaning forward and burying his head between your legs. Without waiting any longer, he parted your labia with his fingers and licked all the way from your clit to your ass, causing your pussy to tighten and an excited moan to escape you. The next moment you could hear him deeply inhale the smell of your pussy before you could feel his tongue slide into your slit and you could hear a deep rumble as he licked your juice out of you, tongue fucking you. You could do nothing but brace yourself against his attacks while he ate you out like a man starving, desperate, as if the smalles drop missing would be a waste.

Gasping for air, you moaned out your pleasure and bit into the sheets. A harsh laugh escaped his throat, mixed with an impatient sound as he withdrew his tongue from you and grabbed your hips again. This time, however, he turned you around but immediately spread your legs again, kneeling between them and bending over you. Rafayel supported himself with his arms next to your head and came so close to you that the tips of your noses were touching.

„Still not begging?“ His normal mischievous grin had a wolfish quality to it, as well as his low chuckle, while his smoldering gaze bored into yours, daring you to do something. „Earn it,“ was your only reply before you lifted your head and sealed his still moist lips with yours. He tasted of you. This musky scent mixed with a pinch of sweet and salty. In combination with his so own taste, this time it was you who grew more intoxicated by the second. Teasing your tongues danced around each other and he sucked on yours, making your whole body clench with need.

All you wanted now was to become one with him. You wanted to feel him, as deeply as possible, until your sweaty bodies rubbed against each other. Not one inch of space between you, completely entangled in each other. But of course the seagod had other plans with you as a wicked grin spread over his lips. It was as he could sense your thoughts and as impatient he was himself, he knew he had to prepare you for what was coming.

The last time he was in heat, he fucked you for hours until you could no longer feel your legs. It was only thanks to your tiredness that you were able to rest a little. It probably wouldn’t be any different today, but at the moment you didn’t care, you wanted more, to feel him closer, to be consumed by him and his intensity, until no clear thought crossed your mind anymore. He made sure with that fucking oil that was still tingeling on your skin and you would be asking him about it later, when the first edge was taken care of.

After he bit your lower lip and sucked it between his, he let it suddenly glide out with a wet sound. The last time he was in heat, he fucked you for hours until you could no longer feel your legs. It was only thanks to your tiredness that you were able to rest a little. It probably wouldn’t be any different today, but at the moment you didn’t care, you wanted more, to feel him closer, to be engulfed by him and his intensity. „Earn it for me, eh? Let’s see then.“

With that he gripped your chin, lifting and turning it slightly, so that he had more space for what he had in mind. Rafayel lowered his head and licked over your throat before he bit you exactly there, sucking the skin on this sensitive spot and ripping a whimper from your throat. All the while he pushed his hand between her legs, where he immediately spread her labia again and pushed two fingers deep inside her. „So fucking wet for me, cutie,“ he rasped and wandered over your throat and neck, to your collarbone and then down your chest, licking, biting and sucking, leaving marks in his wake, that tomorrow most likely will be visible. But you didnt care, it wasn’t the first time this happened and it wouldn’t be the last time. You always wore his marks with pride because you knew how jealous and possesive he could get when other men tried to even talk to you. Even he mostly behaved, but you got to feel the storm after you got home.

Your thoughts were interrupted when his mouth closed over one of your nipples sucking hard and making you moan shamlessly, arching into his touches and shoving one hand into his hair. As you tightened the grip of your fingers in his wavy strands, pulling him closer. His hand between your legs worked you over even more as he pushed a third finger into you, scissoring them to widen you, but leaving out teasing your clit completely. For now at least. But he grazed that sweet spot inside of you and your walls fluttered around your fingers, while you heard those unmistakable squelching sounds from between your legs. Not only could you and him feel how fucking wet you were, but you heard it. And so did him, because he smiled still atached to your boob and then lifted his head. „Fuck the begging ... I need you,“ was all he said and then pulled his fingers out of you. As he lifted himself off of you a few inches, you lifted your head and looked into the space between you. He had gripped his cock with the slick fingers, that just were inside of you and coated himself in your juices. When he was done, he positioned himself at your wet pussy and before pushing in even a little, he guided the head through your folds, gathering up even more of the wetness leaking out of you. Your breath hitched and with him hovering over you, he was too far away for you to reach him. A needy whine formed in your throat, that gave him the rest. Shuddering he pushed the crown of his cock into your tight channel and his eyes closed as he moaned eliciting you to follow him and his name fell from your lips. You both were so worked up, that even that small push could send you over the edge.

Rafayel grabbed one of your legs and pushed it against your chest, trapped it against his muscular shoulders. Instinctively, you wrap your other leg around his hips to pull him closer and deeper into you. You wanted to feel everything of him, every inch you could touch. Skin on skin. He seemed to feel the same way, because only a short time later he gave up for good and let himself sink slowly onto you. His cock pushed deeper into you at the same slow pace, stretching your pussy and you felt a slight burning sensation as your body adjusted to his size.

He wasn’t small as it was, but in his half-transformed state he had grown a little wider. You could feel every single vein and the twitching of your pussy made it even more obvious. You both took a deep breath at the same time and when Rafayel sank the last few inches into you with a single powerful thrust, you both groaned before he closed your mouth with a deep kiss. As your tongues entwined in a sensual dance, he rested one hand next to your head while the other was still on your leg, holding it in place.

„Rafayel ... please,“ you breathlessly gasped, begging now, but that didn’t matter at that moment, he had aroused you too much and all you needed now was for him to fuck you like there was no tomorrow. You knew he was feeling the same way, because as soon as he felt you tighten around his cock, he started to move. He almost pulled out of you completely, only to plunge back into your center with a roll of his hips and a single thrust. This time you were the one biting his lower lip and clawing at his back at the same time, leaving bloody marks.

Your fingers found the siren scales on his back and you traced them with your fingers, which made him tensing up, breathing harshly and a broken moan escaped him. He, on the other hand, straightened up a little more, gripped your leg a little tighter and intensified his thrusts even more, thrusting into you, not without rolling his hips in a way that stimulated your clit the same way he did it inside you when he hit this spongy spot inside you, that was always driving you completely mad. His thrusts became more and more violent, uncontrolled, no longer as gentle as they used to be. He lost himself completely in the feelings you triggered in him and he closed his eyes for a moment while his fingers dug into your leg and his nails left their mark. His hair fell into his damp forehead and his skin was glistening with the slight sheen of sweat in the dim light.

Again and again, his moans alternated with whimpers and breathless gasps. Something that captivated you again and again and showed you how much he could lose himself in you. Even in his current state, which really only consisted of animalistic mating.

With your leg around his hips and your hands, you pulled him back down to you, because he was simply too far away from you for your taste. Without resistance, he followed your request and pressed you into the mattress with his full body weight. He let go of your leg and as soon as he did, you wrapped it around his hips too, meeting his thrusts just as wildly.

„Cutie, you’re killing me, but I want more. Can’t get enough of you and your scent.“ The way he groaned into your ear is a telltale sign that he is close and he was chasing his climax, as much as he wanted you to follow him. And you did. The new angle in which he slammed into you, he hit all the right buttons and it didn’t take long until an orgasm overwhelmed you like a freight train, the intensity of it coming out of nowhere and you were moaning his name breathlessly against his lips. Your whole body began to tremble and you let your head fall back, your body arching into his, rolling your hips to meet his deep and wild thrusts.

„Raf ...“ Your voice sounded hoarse from all the moaning. The feeling that described it the most, was complete sensory overload. You didn’t know where you ended and where he started. You claw deeper into his back as you lift your head and bite into his neck as you realize how wet everything feels between your legs. It felt like you were literally leaking, and not just because Rafayel climaxed the next moment and you could feel his cum filling you in thick hot spurts. Combined with your own cum, it was dripping out of you, staining the sheets below you, making it sticky.

He fucked you through both of your orgasm, dropping his forehead against yours, whimpering and heavily breathing, while looking into your eyes with his mesmerizing glowing blues. Trembling, he carefully lowered himself onto you, but wrapped an arm around you and turned you both so that you lay flat on top of him, his cock still deep inside you, hard and throbbing as if his climax had done nothing to him at all.

But that was normal in his condition. Insatiable, until his first need to stuff you full of his cum was fullfilled. He liked seing your cunt leaking with his juices and most of the time that wasn’t even enough, most of the times he just stayed buried inside you to prevent anything coming out at all.

„I don’t want to move, but I think we could use a shower,“ you say after a while catching your breath and nuzzle his nose with yours. Rafayel sucked in some air sharply as you squeezed teasingly around him. „Stop that or you won’t be showering for the next hours.“ His voice still was deeper than usual but that drawl in his voice showed that he could think a little clearer.

„No shower, but I think we should use something different.“ He wrapped his arms around you and even as he sat up, he lifted you higher so he could stand up, but making sure his cock was still inside you. It took a bit of maneuvering, but in the end he stood up and walked back to the deck, overlooking the water. There behind a screen stood a huge Whirlpool, to which he carried you and climbed the little stair before he lowered himself into the water. Only then he pulled out of you, making you clench again and you huffed out a small laugh. „You know I could have walked right?“ „I know, but couldn’t have you dripping all over the floors,“ he replied and you can see the corners of his mouth twitching and his head against your shoulder, keeping his arms locked around you, holding you as close as possible. You both needed this little break, because you knew that his urges to fuck and breed you would come back fast. So you reveled in the feelings to just lying in his arms, the desire still pooling in your body, like always when you both were this close. But for now you were more than content, so you pressed your lips agains his forehead and turned in his arms to watch the sunset with him.

Part 2

#love and deepspace fanfiction #rafayel love and deepspace #lads x reader #lads rafayel #rafayel x reader #siren #lads smut #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace fluff #qi yu #qi yu x reader #qi yu smut

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fatkish · 1 month ago

Note

Hey, I wanted to know if there's any chance you could write an Aizawa x daughter reader, with comfort for SA? I've been through shi that I'd rather not discuss but could use some one shots or drabbles of a few characters comforting for it. If you're not comfortable with it then that's fine, just figured I'd ask.

And if at all possible, can you contain these themes and characters? All are female. Maybe don't make her go into a lot of detail. You don't have to stick to these or do all or any, I just figured I'd ask. All of these are platonic, by the way. You can pick and choose if you're okay with writing for them!

Keigo Takami (Hawks) x intern reader

Shota Aizawa x daughter reader (you portray him beautifully as a father!)

Hitoshi Shinso x best friend reader

Katsuki Bakugo x quiet classmate reader

Midnight x quiet student reader

And if you know the character, maybe Shishido x intern reader? I'd adore for someone to write for him, as he's my comfort character. There's something about big, strong, but cuddly brutes that makes it easy to lose myself in.

(Sorry these took so long to get done. I’ve been struggling with physical and mental health issues as well as writers block)

Platonic MHA x Fem Reader SA

(Trigger Warning: the following contains allusions to and/or mentions of sexual assault, anxiety, panic attacks, paranoia and other potentially triggering topics. Please be warned and do not read if you’re uncomfortable with these topics)

Some of these are going to be related to each other and focus more on how the characters interact with the reader after the initial ‘incident’. Bakugou, Shinso and Aizawa’s are related to Midnight’s, which is why there might not be the same amount of detail as others.

Midnight x Quiet Student Reader:

Ever since the beginning of your first year, Midnight had noticed something was bothering you. Your body language said it all, Aizawa didn’t have to say anything to her, she immediately took it upon herself to help you

You had been one of her students/interns due to having a quirk that requires you to have large amounts of exposed skin. Your quirk is cat. You have cat like reflexes, enhanced senses, claws, ears and a tail, increased balance/agility, but you also have very sensitive hairs all over your body

Your natural body hair works like whiskers and allows you to sense things in your environment as well as insane spatial awareness and gives you a ‘spidey sense’ in a way. The hairs aren’t any different in appearance than normal body hair so they’re not very obvious

Due to the nature of these hairs, as well as your physiology, you need a costume that allows ease of movement as well as covers as little of these hairs as possible

And this is where the problem lies, see, you’re a rather shy and reserved person who doesn’t enjoy socializing, you’re not afraid of it, you just don’t like it. This is why Midnight decided to take you under her wing and help you embrace and gain confidence in yourself and your quirk’s requirements

She immediately saw how you struggled with being able to give your all and focus on heroics when you were constantly trying to cover yourself up or hide

She managed to do some incredible work to bring you out of your shell, you had gained confidence and no longer had these mental barriers preventing you from being at 100%

She taught you to have confidence in yourself and not be bothered by things you can’t help. She taught you to ignore the comments about how ‘indecent’ your costume was and focus on what matters. You can’t control what quirk you were born with, you work with what you’re given

She focused on the mental barriers and insecurities while Aizawa focused on technical skills. You interned with your Father and other underground pros, and Midnight worked with you behind the scenes to help you. You were doing amazing and came so far

That was until the ‘incident’. Midnight knew you weren’t a social butterfly and preferred to socialize at your own leisure, she also knew just how sexualized the hero industry was especially with certain quirks. Being a cute cat girl hero, while it does help with popularity, it can also attract and bring out the worst in some people

You preferred to be an underground hero but that didn’t stop one particularly overzealous fan. Long story short, he had stalked you and harassed you from the shadows, studying your patrol routes as an intern, and when your guard was down and you were alone, he struck. Luckily, Aizawa and Shinso, who you were interning with as a hero, managed to stop him

But the damage had been done, you retreated to your dorm and refused to leave. Of course, the teachers and staff were informed of the event so your absences were understood and excused, but that doesn’t mean you were given special privileges

Midnight, having been the one who worked with you the most on your mental barriers, vouched for you and worked with Nedzu and Aizawa to set up counseling sessions and therapy sessions for you online

After some time, Midnight, with suggestions and input from your counselor/therapist, help you get back out there and handled most of your emotional fallout and breakdowns, she helped you not only bounce back, but she helped you with any and all gender/sex related hang ups and problems you ran into

Eventually, she would be the one to help you with the sexual and non-sexual parts of your future relationships, giving you advice and coaching you on how to go about things. She helped you be confident and have a positive and healthy attitude towards sex and not let the past affect your future

She wasn’t just a mentor to you, she became like a mother/aunt figure to you, she even takes you shopping for clothes and other stuff (in this world, she doesn’t die)

You would always be thankful for her and on Mother’s Day, you always give her a gift as a means to show your appreciation for being the stable maternal figure in your life

Aizawa x Daughter Reader:

You weren’t his biological daughter, you were adopted by him. He had taken you in when he found you as a small child on the streets. He saw your pickpocketing skills while he was on patrol and after finding out your parents neglected you, he decided to adopt you to keep you from growing up into a life of crime

It was difficult at first, you constantly tested the boundaries and patience of the man, he understood that you were a child and he brought you to a therapist who helped you both with your emotional/mental/ trauma issues as well as your behavioral issues

It took some time, but Aizawa proved to the deepest parts of you that he wasn’t going anywhere and that you finally had someone to depend on who would never leave you

He helped you with whatever you needed and whatever he couldn’t do (like knowing about periods and other biological girl knowledge/wisdom that only females can acquire) he had help from people he knew

When it came time for highschool, he helped you design your costume the best he could but he made sure you didn’t get any special treatment (no recommendations or insider information)

He was worried about your safety as a hero but you told him you would be fine since he’s gonna be teaching you

When he tried to contact you and got no response multiple times, he had a feeling something was wrong, he and Shinso left their patrol areas and headed to yours. You had the insight to install a secure tracker into your suit in the event that you were undercover or needed your allies to know your location

You had given Aizawa and Shinso both a device that connected to the tracker in your suit, it showed that you weren’t where you were supposed to be

They followed the tracker to a house, Aizawa had actually noticed on a few occasions that someone had been following you so he did a little preemptive investigating and had previously learned that this house belonged to whoever was following you

Aizawa knew that he needed more proof that there was something illicit going on in order to enter the house without a warrant, and Shinso had noticed some blood leading to the back door, giving them enough of a reason to enter without a warrant

Aizawa kicked the door in and they both took different entrances, one took the front, the other took the back door, and eventually they found the basement and down there they found the guy had drugged you and was on top of you

Aizawa kicked the guy off of you and restrained him while Shinso immediately tended to you. Aizawa called an ambulance as well as police while he brought the guy upstairs. Aizawa waited for the police who later investigated the whole house and found plenty of evidence of the guy having stalked you, there was a board covered in pictures of you and clippings from various things that showed a detailed map of your patrol area

The map showed where you would be and when, as well as detailed descriptions of the surrounding buildings. There were other disturbing things found that were confiscated and collected as evidence by the police. Aizawa talked with the detective on the case and made sure to share information with him so that the case would be taken care of

After doing all of the paperwork so you wouldn’t have to, he met up with Shinso at the hospital. After being given the all clear to go by the doctors, Aizawa and Shinso took you back to the dorms. Aizawa made sure that you were asleep before he went and informed Recovery Girl and Nedzu about what happened

He made sure that all your class work and assignments were gathered and he took notes on what lessons you missed so he could set up times for you to take them

He handled most of the logistics of everything so you could focus on your mental health and recover faster

Hitoshi Shinso x Best Friend Reader:

Shinso felt incredibly guilty about what had happened to you since this was the first time you both patrolled solo on your own

He had had a bad feeling about that night but you were so excited to finally have the chance to patrol on your own. As your best friend, he decided to let you go on your own

When you first woke up after being rescued, you completely shutdown and wouldn’t talk to anyone. The doctors were barely able to get more than a few words out of you

Shinso watched as you isolated yourself and dealt with the aftermath of the attack all on your own

He would make sure to take extra notes from classes and would slip them underneath your dorm room door after school

He would try to coax you out of your room but nothing he tried would work, not even bring your favorite food

When he saw that Bakugou had managed to do what he couldn’t despite him being your best friend, he began to beat himself up and started to wonder if you were afraid of him due to his quirk

Luckily for both him and you, Bakugou saw this and made sure to smack Shinso upside the head and explain things to him

After having Bakugou of all people scold him and chew him out for being an idiot and turning what happened to you into a reason to feel bad about himself he felt really embarrassed

He knew you would never judge him for his quirk but he let his insecurities and past get to him

After you started therapy and counseling, you started to break out of your old shell once more and Shinso made sure to stay by your side the entire time

If you were given exercises to work on then Shinso would do them with you

When you returned to your internship, he stayed by your side and helped you whenever you had a panic attack or became anxious

Shinso learned the same techniques you used to calm yourself down and coached you through them

He made sure to keep an eye out for suspicious characters and made sure that the press didn’t bother you

Katsuki Bakugou x Quiet Reader:

Despite him not really having the most comforting personality, or being the type of person who handles feelings, he knew a thing or two about trauma and PTSD

Aizawa might not have said it in the exact words, but Bakugou was no idiot, he knew something really bad had happened

Bakugou and you might have had a rough start when you first met in your freshman year, but after some time, you both became sparring partners and eventually became friends

Bakugou’s fighting style was offensive and relies on his own strength while yours is primarily defensive and focuses on redirecting and using your opponent’s strength and power against them

Your agility and fighting style made you the perfect sparring partner for Bakugou. Your styles couldn’t be more different and you both learned and became even better fighters from your sparring sessions

Eventually you began to really open up to Bakugou and while he wasn’t really the type to talk about his feelings and issues, he was a solid listener and even gave good advice

Eventually he did open up about his insecurities about Deku to you and you explained to him that Izuku only seems to be progressing faster because he started at zero while Bakugou had plenty of experience. You and Bakugou had developed a sort of mental health relationship, you both would discreetly check in on the other when one of you noticed the other was having issues

That’s how Bakugou was able to get you to let him in after the incident. While having other people cry on him and complain about their problems would normally piss him off, you both developed a relationship built on supporting the other and allowing your weaknesses to be seen

He made you your favorite food and brought it to you. Although, in typical Bakugou style, he told you to eat something for f——s sake so you don’t die. Despite his gruff and aggressive demeanor, you still let him in and he made sure you were taking care of yourself

He made sure to take time to help you with class work and studied with you as you caught up. He’d be damned if he let his best sparring partner get rusty just because of a bad incident

He became a silent supporter for you, for which you greatly appreciated his support. You even made him appreciation gifts in the form of super spicy snacks and even bought him some special hot sauces, which he secretly loved and laughed when you tried them only to end up crying from the pain

Keigo Takami (Hawks) x Intern Reader:

You weren’t really a hero intern/sidekick, you were more of a support/secretary person

You had a quirk called Archive. (Basically the same power as Hibiki from Fairytail https://fairytail.fandom.com/wiki/Hibiki_Lates ) you were basically a supercomputer that didn’t run on electricity. Your quirk lets you create a holographic screen and pull information from the Archive’s database and from people around you. You can connect to people telepathically and coordinate with your allies from a safe location

You’re Hawk’s secretary that the HPSC personally recruited and hired (read as forced to work for them) to keep tabs on him and help control him as well as handle the logistics of things

You get a pretty big paycheck considering all that you do, especially when you have to wrangle in a certain bird brain

Despite your professional appearances, when no one is around, you and Hawks allow your masks to fall and be real with each other

You’re one of the few people Hawks truly trusts. The HPSC is weary of you because you have so much dirt on them and you could easily leak their secrets to the public, hawks knows that the HPSC basically threatened you into working for them

Despite your quirk’s amazing abilities, you’re not really a fighter, hawks has taught you self defense, but that only goes so far when your opponent has enhanced strength or other similar abilities

With the position you were in, it was hard for you to have a romantic life. Having so many of the HPSC’s secrets, they were very wary of specific things, such as your dating and love life

No matter what, they eventually found some way to secretly interfere and make your relationships fail. That’s why, when a younger, handsome guy from the HPSC’s lower ranks decided to ask you out, you said yes

The relationship was great at first, he was kind and sweet and you really thought that this time you had finally found something that would work

But after you officially started dating and you moved in together, you started to realize that you were wrong. Long story short, after moving in and sharing your finances together, he started showing signs of being abusive. Now that you couldn’t just leave him, he started to get pushy. You had told him you weren’t interested in having sex until you were married, that’s because you wanted to make sure you genuinely loved the person you have sex with

After many arguments, you started to realize who your boyfriend really was. You had told Hawks and despite his wishes, you convinced him to let you to get sufficient evidence against your boyfriend so that you could have a solid case against him

Hawks would regret that. You had gone home for the day when he got a call from you. He picked up but you didn’t answer, then the line cut off. Hawks had left one of his feathers in your clothes after you informed him of your beliefs of your boyfriend becoming potentially abusive

Hawks focused on that feather and followed it. After perching outside your apartment window, he heard all that he needed to

He smashed the window and entered your apartment to find your boyfriend on top of you and you bleeding and bruised

After subduing him, hawks found you were unconscious and brought you to the hospital. When you woke up, Hawks told you what happened and that your boyfriend was arrested and charged with assault and domestic battery

After you were discharged from the hospital, with the permission from the HPSC, Hawks had an apartment built into his hero agency just for you. Now you didn’t have to worry about getting to work since you lived in the same building and you would be able to help in emergency situations faster

Hawks stayed by your side and became essentially and older brother figure for you. Even after he looses his quirk, you and him continue to be close

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #aizawa x reader #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa x reader #midnight x reader #nemuri katana x reader #keigo takami x reader #hawks x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x reader #shinso x reader #shinso hitoshi

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moonstruckme · 1 month ago

Note

Hello! Congratulations on 10K!

I just wanted to say, you are such an incredible writer – I love love love the attention you pay to small details and how intimately you know the characters you write! Your writing has brought me so much comfort and joy, I just can't get enough of it.

Can I please request secrets in the dark with poly marauders and letters g, x, y and z. Thank you! <3

Awe thank you so much angel, this really means the world. I'm lucky to have you reading <33

g = getting together; how did it all come about? were there any pre-existing relationships between them?

So, i could really see this one going a million different ways, but in most of my imaginings wolfstar was first. Like maybe it wasn't even an established relationship, maybe sirius told james about his crush on remus and in james' attempts to get them together he realizes that he has a crush on remus and oh no, oh shit, he's such a bad friend, and because he can't keep anything from sirius he does eventually tell him and between the three of them they work it out. If reader was growing up with them at this time I imagine she'd likely be in the same position as james, having crushes on multiple people and upset with herself for being so disloyal to her friends, and would thusly get roped into it along with james, but if they met after wolfstarbucks was established I think it'd be a rather simple case of sirius and james flirting with her instinctively, remus not hating it, and them all slowly but with decent communication figuring out how to be together. The idea that tha marauders' friendship was founded before anything else is really core to me

x = xoxo; who checks up on their partners a lot when they’re apart? do they call, or are texts enough to make them feel close?

I think Sirius gets anxious the fastest, he wants more reassurance that you're okay and that your relationship is still good and this results in lots of spontaneous calls whenever the insecurity hits him. James I think would be more likely to have regular or casual calls, just when he has a few minutes as he's walking somewhere and/or every night after supper, he wants to hear your voice and he misses you but it doesn't come from as desperate a place as Sirius'. For both of them, I think texts work just fine but they'll still feel deprived if they don't talk to you fairly often. Remus I think is unlikely to call you on his own—he never wants to be a bother—but he will text you and at the ends of calls might say something casual like "I'll be free tomorrow after work if you want to call again" so that you reach out to him. He wants to be on the phone with you but he doesn't often want to initiate, if that makes sense

y = yearn; who misses their partners the easiest (ie, calls them to hear their voices when all they’ve done is run to the grocery store)?

Answered in another ask <3

z = zealous; who was especially eager in their pursuit of the relationship? was anyone more reserved in their want for it?

I think James was probably the most eager about this. Sirius was a close second, but I imagine him having some insecurities around sharing and being unsure how things would work out with all four of you, scared to jeopardize either the romantic or platonic relationships he already has. Remus I think feels similarly, but he's more okay with it, he just wants to take things slower than James is so he's probably the one tempering you all the most and trying to make sure you don't fuck it up before you get a chance to really sink into it

#poly!marauders #poly marauders #poly!marauders headcanons

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lonely-ey3s · 5 months ago

Text

With All My Love : Chapter 12 | love letters - part one

Pairings: joel miller x f!reader (no outbreak)

Word count: 12.6k

Chapter Summary: Joel prepares to ask you a very important question today that he's been preparing to ask you for the last few weeks. Will you pick up on what's going on with the shift of energy and routine or will you be utterly surprised?

Chapter warnings: Chapter warnings: SMUT (18+ MDNI), public-ish sex, unprotected piv, anxiety, flashbacks of traumatic memories (for both reader and joel), mentions of PTSD anxiety, FLUFF, joel being an absolute lover, soft!joel, use of Spanish but with translations, lying to partner (justified), use of y/n, parental abandonment, domestic abuse/assault, some angst?, if i missed any lmk

A/N: enjoy my loves ❣️

Dividers by: @saradika-graphics

Main Masterlist

Saturday, October 23rd

Joel had tossed and turned all night, unable to sleep due to the amount of nerves and excitement he was feeling. Today was it.

He had everything planned to the T, this wasn’t going to be some spontaneous “Will You Marry Me?” in the middle of nowhere. No, you deserved more than that. He put so much thought and effort into this that Maria teased him for the absolute attention to detail he had possessed in this process.

Sarah had been involved with everything behind the scenes, the same with Maria and Tommy. Elena even helped by distracting you and asking if you’d go get your nails done with her and Maria, her treat. You had no idea it was deliberate, you didn’t even think to assume something was up, Joel told you she wanted to get to know you both more and that was her love language.

You had no idea of the plan; everything had been kept so airtight that when Joel mentioned he had plans this weekend, you just thought after the week you had gone through with Reggie’s passing and your PTSD that Joel was just giving you extra attention.

Your alarm went off around 6 am to just get up, however, you snoozed it and rolled over, falling back asleep.

Joel turned on his side and watched you sleep, with eyes full of love and adoration. He watched how your lips would curl involuntarily into a small smile as you slept, how you’d hum when you were dreaming, and Levi was right, you did a cute little leg kick when you were deep in sleep. Joel laid there and thought of every possible scenario he wanted to have with you.

How it would be to hear a baby cry in the morning to wake up instead of that god-awful alarm tone.

How beautiful you’d be with his baby in your womb, how you’d glow. He wanted that more than anything, to give you a baby.

He thought about what your wedding might be. Would you want something big or small and intimate? He couldn’t wait to become your husband and you would be his wife. His wife… that had a ring to it.

He thought about how he wanted to give you everything you ever needed in this world, he thrived in taking care of you, but there was something about vowing to do it for the rest of his days that put a jolt of joy into him, vowing to you, swearing his life to you.

Since you had come into his life, he looked at everything from a completely different angle. Things that used to feel like he was suffocating or drowning felt warm and refreshing. He was cold, reserved, and just moving through life before you, trying to get to the next day. He now experiences the day and is always conscious of being in the moment. He wants to remember everything from the way you laughed at something so simple to the smile you gave when you looked at a pretty flower on the sidewalk.

You stirred in your sleep and crunched your nose sighing deeply as you adjusted to lay closer to Joel.

He smiled and softly traced his fingers up your arm and then back down, feeling your soft skin on his fingertips.

He whispered as he kissed your temple, “Mi corazón late por ti…” (My heart beats for you…)

You snuggled closer to him and smiled softly, taking in a deep breath, keeping your eyes closed, voice soft with sleep, “Say more things in Spanish…” you giggled.

He chuckled, and looked at you, continuing to trace his hands up and down your skin, “Tienes una sonrisa hermosa...” (You have a beautiful smile.)

You blushed and hid your face for a moment in the pillow.

Joel kissed your cheek, “¿Puedo ver tus ojos?” (May I see your eyes)

You shyly looked up at him, smiling, “¿Cómo dices? Brown eyes?”

He laid his head down on his pillow while keeping eyes on you, “Ojos marrones…” he smiled.

You nodded, “Amo tus grandes ojos marrones…” (I love your big brown eyes)

Joel chuckled softly and blushed, “Gracias, mi vida…”

He moved his hand up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, studying the freckles on your cheeks, memorizing the constellations.

You blushed under his gaze. You looked at his features, gently putting your hand on his chest, then looking at his lips before looking up at his eyes, he was doing the same, and you blushed a little more.

He wasted not a moment, putting your chin in his grasp and pulling you towards his lips, kissing you gently once before pulling back for a moment, “I’m so in love with you…” before crashing his lips onto yours, kissing you more deeply and passionately.

He pulled you closer by taking you by your waist, pulling you against him. You put your leg over his waist and maneuvered yourself to straddle him, never leaving his lips.

He sat up with you on his lap and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him, meeting it with the other hand that was gently kneading your other hip, grinding your hips slowly onto his cock, devouring your lips.

You comb through his hair gently, pulling him closer gently, breathing heavily and heated as his lips move from your lips to your neck, chest, and shoulder, feverishly littering you with his kisses.

You giggle when his stubble runs across a part of your neck more sensitive than the rest, making him grin against your skin, “Ticklish there?”

You nodded, smiling, “Seems so…” you giggled and leaned back a little to look a him, “Don’t get any ideas…” you smiled and put your hand on his chest to hold him back, eyes narrowing.

He grinned and grabbed the back of your knees and moved so now you were on your back, making you giggle as he went to kiss and tickle that spot, also moving his hands to tickle your sides, making you laugh and squirm as you tried to push him off, “Joel! Stop I’m gonna pee!” you giggled under him.

He chuckled which turned into a laugh when you said that and he pulled away, smiling as he hovered over you.

You slowly stopped giggling and looked up at him, smiling lovingly. He moved down to kiss you when Sarah knocked on the door, making him sigh and lean his head against your shoulder, groaning quietly.

“I’m making breakfast! Wake up!” she shouted then ran downstairs to the kitchen.

You chuckled, “Wonder what the special occasion is…” you smiled and put your hand on his cheek, pulling him to your lips, kissing him gently, whispering against his lips, “Whatever it is, it can wait 5 minutes, yeah?” you gently kissed him again, biting his bottom lip and pulling on it softly.

He groaned and nodded, settling between your legs, cock rock hard, leaking precum as he quickly pulled his boxers down and moved your panties to the side, “Oh baby 5 minutes is being generous… te he estado deseando toda la mañana…” (I’ve wanted you all morning…) he growled before sinking deep into you, growling as he leaned back in to kiss you deeply as you moaned against his lips.

—

Ok, it was more like 10 minutes, but he couldn’t get enough of you this morning and you wondered what had gotten into him.

You came downstairs to Sarah cooking a whole spread of breakfast items. She had pancakes, bacon, toast, and eggs ready to go on plates to serve yourself at the counter.

You looked around and then came up and kissed her head as she was turning over pancakes, “This all looks amazing, what’s the occasion?” you chuckled.

She smiled and looked back at you, “Does there need to be an occasion for me to cook you guys breakfast?”

You held your hands up defensively and shook your head, “No ma’am…”

Joel came down shortly after dressed in a cream-colored henley that was a quarter button-up, dark wash jeans, and his nice boots. “Smells great baby girl, thank you!”

He came up and kissed Sarah’s cheek then came up and put his hand on the small of your back, kissing your shoulder softly.

You blushed and loaded some food onto your plate before going to sit at the table, waiting for the others to join you before eating a bite.

Joel got a cup of coffee for you and set it by your plate, kissing your head softly before grabbing his plate and cup of coffee and sitting at the table. Sarah came a moment after with her plate and glass of orange juice.

The three of you ate together for the next hour. It became a routine every Saturday to at least eat one meal together, catch up on the week, and plan for the one following so that you all were on the same page, however, today’s felt different and you couldn’t put your finger on why. You felt like something was going on that you didn’t know about as you kept catching Joel wink at Sarah or Sarah make a statement that might mean one thing to you but to Joel, it meant something entirely different.

You got up to clean your plate when the garage door opened and in walked Tommy and Maria, “Somethin’ smells good!” Tommy bellowed from the garage before walking up the steps into the kitchen.

“I cooked breakfast! There’s some leftover on the counter, help yourselves.” Sarah looked back at the two of them smiling.

It wasn’t unusual for Tommy and Maria to show up out of nowhere, they did surprise visits constantly, but they usually kept to themselves on Saturdays as they knew that was a day for you three to spend together after a crazy week.

You rinsed off your plate, Maria came by you as she piled some pancakes on her plate, “Hey, you wanna go dress shopping with me for a few hours? I have that job interview on Monday and need something to wear…” she smiled and nudged you gently.

You looked up at her “Uhm, I think Joel had plans for us today…” you smiled.

Joel stood up and smiled, “My plans aren’t til later baby, you can go shoppin’ if you want…” he came over and kissed your cheek, putting his plate in the sink to wash it.

You looked at him and then Maria, “Oh, ok. Yeah, sure, wanna go after this?” you smiled.

She nodded, “Yeah, what time should I have her back here?” she looked at Joel and took a bite of some bacon.

“4 pm at the latest?” he smiled and walked away drying his hands on a paper towel and then putting it into the trash.

You smiled, “Do I need to change for these plans or is this dress ok to wear?” you had on a new floral sun dress you had found while thrifting last week. One that Joel mentioned he wanted to see you in as soon as possible. You thought today would be a good day to wear it considering you guys are going out.

He smiled brightly, “You look breathtaking in anything, anything will do for where we are going…” he came over and pecked your lips.

You blushed and nodded then cleared your throat, “I’ll be home by 4 then…” you looked away shyly and filled your mug up with some more coffee.

Reader’s POV

Maria finished up her breakfast and then you two left.

You went to the mall first and she dragged you to a department store to pick out a few pencil skirts, dress shirts, formal dresses, and other things like cardigans, sweaters, and shoes.

You were sitting in the dressing room in the waiting area when she came out to show you the outfit she had put together. It was some corduroy brown pants with a white button-down and then a sweater over it, very comfy but yet professional in your opinion. She turned to look at herself in the mirror, “Thoughts?” she asked smiling and turning to look at the angles.

You were lost in thought, messing with a loose thread on the chair you were sitting on.

“Y/N?” Maria chuckled and turned towards you.

You snapped out of your thought and looked up at her, “Hmm?”

She smiled, “Where’s your mind?”

You bit your lip and looked down at the thread, “Just in my head… don’t mind me.” you sighed softly then looked up and put on a smile, “I like that outfit, maybe you could add a cute belt? Wear those cute flats you got the other week?” you suggested trying to change the subject.

Maria nodded, agreeing with your suggestions, “I like that idea, I’ll look for a belt.” she turned back towards the mirror and then bit the inside of her cheek, “What’s goin’ on in that head?”

You shook your head, “Nothin’ just… somethin’ feels odd about today, but I can’t put my finger on it – like I feel like I’m missin’ something or forgot somethin’...” your foot began to bounce, an anxiety tick you’d developed subconsciously.

Maria looked back at you, you were starting to pick up on the energy that everyone was most likely exuding today from the excitement of what was going to happen. She shrugged, “Hmm, I’m sure it’s nothing, just an off day?” she smiled at you, trying to keep you at bay.

You nodded and took a breath, smiling softly, “You’re right, it’s probably nothing.” you cleared your throat and sat up to focus more, “Have we tried on that pencil skirt yet?”

She shook her head and started heading back to her changing room, “That’s next…” she closed the door.

You cleared your throat, “How are things going with you and Tommy?”

“Good! We had a conversation the other day about how we both feel about marriage, which was surprising.” she came out with the pencil skirt on, keeping the top the same.

You chuckled lightly, “Why’s that surprising? Did you not think he was the marriage type of person?” you looked at her skirt, “I like that with maybe the button down you have on under, but the sweater is too much.”

She nodded and took the sweater off, leaving the button down on, she began tucking it into the skirt, “I don’t know, he just seems so comfortable where we are, never thought he would talk about that so soon you know?” she looked at herself in the mirror after finishing the tucking, “You’re right, it was too much. Do you think heels would look good or flats?” she arched her foot up to give the illusion of wearing a heel.

You adjusted in your seat, “I think heels help with the definition of the pencil skirt, flats would make it look too blah…” you smiled, “Wait, what do you mean so soon? You guys have been flirting longer than Joel and I have, hell, you guys are ahead in more ways than I think we are. Doesn’t shock me he’s brought it up.”

She nodded and turned towards you, popping her hip out, “Yeah, I guess.” you bit her lip and grinned, “Have you and Joel had that talk yet?”

You let out a small chuckle, “We’ve brushed over it a couple of times but I’ve always known Joel to eventually want to settle down, you know? It’s just something we’ve not needed to ‘talk’ about, you know?” you tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, looking down shyly, “It’s just something that I think he’ll ask one day and I’ll gladly say yes to.” you blushed and smiled down as you messed with the hem of your dress before clearing your throat and looking back at her, “But I don’t think that’s happening any time soon. I think he doesn’t want to ask too soon, he’s always worried about moving too fast, you know?” you softly chuckled, rolling your eyes jokingly.

Maria nodded and returned to the dressing room, smiling a little too widely to be around you, she spoke from behind the curtain, “Yeah. He does seem to worry about that.” she paused “But I think we can both agree, Joel seems a bit more domestic than Tommy.” she said, hearing you hum in agreement.

She pulled her phone out and texted Joel:

M: How’s it going so far? Still need her out til just after 4 pm?

J: Yes please, I’ll call when you can head here.

She changed and came out in another skirt, this one lighter gray, and changed her blouse.

“This color or the other one I tried?” she came to look in the mirror.

You looked up from your phone and smiled softly, “I like this one with the other blouse and maybe a jacket?”

She nodded, “Wanna go find me one while I try a few more things?”

You stood and nodded, “Sure thing.” then walked to go find some jackets that would match.

As you were browsing you couldn’t help but overhear a couple in the aisle over arguing, borderline fighting.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. You said that I could pick out an outfit, so I did. I didn’t know that it wasn’t on sale, it was in the sale rack, so I just assumed…” she pleaded.

You heard a man lower his tone and then a small yelp as he grabbed onto her arm tightly, “Oh you assumed? I don’t fucking care, put it back or I’ll make you and it won’t be very fun...” he threatened through clenched teeth.

She nodded fearfully and he shoved her towards the rack, making her stumble over her feet.

He scoffed, “You’re so fucking clumsy.” he mocked her like he hadn’t just shoved her almost into the damn rack.

You zoned out for a moment, thinking back to about a year ago when a similar scenario happened between you and Charlie.

2 years ago

The waitress had just left with your orders and you knew the second she left and his fake smile dropped you had done something wrong.

“Did I say that you could order fries with your burger?” he leaned forward as he growled at you from across a booth.

You bit the inside of your cheek, thinking then quickly responding, voice meek and quiet, “I’m sorry, she asked and you didn’t say no so I assumed it was ok…” You looked down to avoid eye contact, beginning to pick at your cuticle nervously.

“You assumed? So I guess you’ll just assume that I’ll be paying extra for the fries? You assumed that too, right?” he bit out through clenched teeth, gripping the edge of the table.

You felt people’s eyes on the two of you, watching as he dragged you through the mud with his tongue, begging for someone to say something, offer a hand, or help, but no one said a word.

They left you in that booth to be torn apart by that monster.

You swallowed, “I… Charlie, I’m sorry. I’ll have her send them back when she gets here.” you didn’t dare look up, too afraid to say or do anything more than keep apologizing.

“No. It’s fine, you’re fat ass can have the damn fries. Shouldn’t have expected anything less from a pig.” he scoffed and leaned back, tracking a swig of the beer he had.

You kept your head down, continuing to pick at your cuticle, leg bouncing up and down anxiously, trying to focus on the soft sound of the music playing overhead.

About 10 minutes went by before she returned with your food, you looked up and put on a fake smile, “Excuse me, I’m so sorry, I misunderstood you when you asked if I wanted fries, could you please remove them from our bill and my order? I’m going to barely be able to finish the burger… let alone fries too.”

She smiled and nodded, “Of course hun, just give me a sec to fix that for you.” she took your plate and walked away, coming back less than a minute later with just your burger.

Your stomach growled at the absence of the fries. You would have really loved them in addition, as he had you on a hunger strike for the last 3 days, but you didn’t want Charlie paying for something he didn’t permit you to add onto the bill. You smiled softly and thanked her.

She walked away and he scoffed looking at you, “You’re pathetic.”

You kept your head down and ate the burger as quickly as you could, not only due to the hunger you were experiencing but if he had to wait for you so you both could leave, you don’t know what else would happen on top of the punishment you were most likely going to get due to the first incident.

Before you could make it back out to the car after you both had finished he had smacked you across the face in the parking lot and shoved you up against the door of his truck, grabbing you with his hand by your jaw, “You ever pull that shit again and I’ll fucking kill you, do you understand?”

You looked at him with eyes filled with nothing but fear, nodding quickly, “Yes… I understand.” tears started to form in your eyes.

He let you go but didn’t get into the car until he backhanded you across the face again, leaving your cheeks red and stinging.

You snapped out of it when you heard a small sound of a slap landing on her skin, which could only mean one thing with how he was speaking to her.

You peeked over and saw her touch her cheek, tears falling as she felt the sting. He crowded her space, his fist balled, muttering “You’re such a fucking bitch…”

You knew if he wasn’t in public this would be a lot worse.

That was all you needed.

In times like these, when this had happened to you, you prayed someone would say or do something, offer to help you, stand up to Charlie. It meant more for someone else to say something than the person being abused, bystanders meant something.

You made your way to the front of the store and cleared your throat for the attendant’s attention at the counter, “Hi, could you please put in a call to the police? I just witnessed a man hitting his girlfriend, threatening her, and she has other indicators of further abuse…” you spoke softly and calmly.

The attendant nodded and pulled the phone out quickly, calling. You leaned against the counter to face the exit and texted Maria:

Y/N: Something came up, they don’t have any jackets here that’ll match, we can go somewhere else. I’m at the front when you’re ready.”

Maria came out a few minutes later and came up to you, “Hey, what’s going on?”

You kept your eye on the couple and explained what you witnessed. She nodded and paid for her things before coming to stand by you.

The cops showed up less than 5 minutes after that and came up to the store attendant, “We got a call about a domestic abuse and assault allegation?”

You cleared your throat and stuck out your hand for him to shake, “Hi, I had the store call. I witnessed the altercation and would love to give you my statement.” you smiled softly.

He nodded and shook your hand, then pulled out his notepad to gather information.

While he gathered your statement the other officer went over to talk to the couple, he pulled the man aside and began questioning him separately. Instantly, the man was on the defense, making stupid excuses and lies.

You explained that you had witnessed him hit her and threaten her. You mentioned you were a domestic abuse survivor yourself and know the signs. You also noted to him that she had bruises on her arm which you knew meant this had been happening for some time, indicating that this is a pattern of behavior.

The store attendant cleared her throat and noted that they found the altercation on the security cameras, further supporting your statement.

He nodded and had the attendant send the evidence to his office via email then looked at you, clearing his throat, “Mind if we take down your contact information in case we need you in any court proceedings?”

You shook your head, “Not at all, I’m happy to help.” you gave him your information then looked at him, confused, “Wait, you’re arresting him, it’s that easy?”

He looked at you sadly, understanding you hadn’t had the same treatment done for you, “Here in Texas we take any form of abuse seriously, I’m sorry if you didn’t get the same treatment where you were, ma’am.”

You nodded and chuckled, “That’s refreshing to know.” you teared up and looked down, “You have no idea how much relief that brings me to know this woman has a chance to get out.”

The cop nodded and held out his hand, “We’ll call you if we need anything else, but you’re free to go. We’ll handle it from here.”

You looked up and shook his hand, thanking him.

He walked away and you let out a shaky breath, watching them cuff the guy and the girl looked relieved as she spoke to the officer that took your statement.

Maria touched your arm softly, “Hey, you ok?”

You nodded, “Yeah… I just… I don’t know why but it just hit me, I’ll never deal with that with Joel.” you had a few tears fall, “That part of my life is over… thank god...” you let out a small laugh.

Maria smiled and squeezed your arm, “He loves you so much and for the time you were with Charlie, I’m sure Joel will make up tenfold.”

You looked at her and nodded, chuckling as you wiped tears coming down your cheeks.

You cleared your throat after a few moments of composing yourself, “Let’s go find you a suit jacket, yeah?”

She nodded and took your arm, “How does the thrift store down the street sound?”

You perked up, “Now you’re speakin’ my language…”

–

She knew that taking you to the thrift store would not only be for her but you’d find things for yourself as well. If you knew any better you’d pick up on how she knew this would keep you busy which was her goal today with you. Keep you out of the house and away from Joel while he puts everything together. You spent more than an hour there, you found some suit jackets for Maria, all looked amazing on her.

She also found some really cute belts to go with some of the outfits and some really cute bags as well.

You found yourself a few outfits as well in case you had some interviews coming up, there were some very business options, and some more business causal options, but you found things that brought you such joy.

You also snuck over and found Joel some nice shirts and even found him some cowboy boots in his size that you couldn’t help but grab. You couldn’t wait to get home and show him. Maybe he could wear them out tonight as they’d go great with the outfit he had on today.

You left and went to another mall plaza across town as Maria had said she wanted to find some more options plus you both loved shopping, and you had time to do whatever you wanted as you saw it was only 2 pm.

After a few more stores and hours of shopping, she found a few options for the interview and then some more for if she got the job. You were at the checkout when you saw the time, it was 5 minutes to 4 pm.

‘Shit, we lost track of time.’

You pulled out your phone and sent a text to Joel:

Y/N: Hey cowboy, I’m going to be a little late getting home, lost track of time. We are just checking out and then should be home within the next 20 minutes. I love you. <3

There were those three dots shortly after as he was typing a response then a message popped up from him:

J: No worries, sweetheart. Just take your time and get here safely. I love you too.

You helped her carry all the bags to her car, packing them into the trunk and packing the back seat with the remaining.

You were driving out of the parking lot when Maria’s phone started to ring from her purse, you pulled it out and saw it was Joel, “Do you want me to answer for you since you’re driving?” you asked looking over at her.

She nodded, “Yeah, could you?” she looked to the left and then right to pull out of the lot.

You answered the call, putting it on speaker, “Hey sweetheart, we are about 15 minutes away, we just left the mall.”

Joel smiled at you answering, everything was going to plan, and he chuckled, “Uh, yeah, about that... I went and ran a few errands with Tommy… and the truck broke down, can you and Maria come and grab us? A tow truck is coming to get the truck to take it to the shop. You and I will just grab a ride home from them to our plans?”

Maria nodded and looked at you, mouthing ‘Where are they?’

“Oh shoot, yeah, we can. Where are you guys?” you asked with slight concern in your voice.

He tsked his tongue, acting confused, “Uhm, stuck somewhere rural, we took a back road trying to avoid traffic. I’ll send Maria a pin of our location so she can put it into her phone, yeah?”

You nodded and looked at Maria, she nodded. “Yeah, that works. We will just see you soon.”

He smiled, nodding, “I’ll see you soon, mi vida. Drive safe, take your time, no rush.”

You smiled and nodded, “We will. I love you.” you said softly.

He softly answered back, “I love you too.”

You hung up the phone and then pushed the address he had texted Maria, “Damn, 26 minutes away, what the hell were they doing?” you chuckled and handed the phone to her to help navigate the way.

She chuckled and bit her cheek to stop herself from grinning, “I have no idea, guess we’ll find out soon enough…” and then turned right at the next light to head that way.

Joel’s POV

After you and Maria left, it was like a green light went off. Tommy and Sarah dropped what they were doing and ran into the garage. They got the supplies he had gathered and hid over the last few weeks, pulling them out of hiding.

He had gathered fancy pillows, nicer blankets, and fairy lights, as well as small candles to create an ambiance.

Sarah ran upstairs and grabbed a box of photos and the other supplies she had hidden in her room that she and Joel made together over the last few days when you weren’t around, these three had a game plan, they were eager to execute.

There were a few errands they still needed to run and do before they were to set up at the location. Joel had to run to a florist to get some flowers he had ordered and then also needed to run to the local diner you both loved to eat at when you’d go out to run errands or just for some good comfort food as he was also going to set up a picnic.

Tommy packed everything into the truck and then came in, “We have everything?” he said slightly out of breath.

Joel pulled out his phone and looked through the list he had made, checking things off as he went down, then nodded his head, “Ring and gift, then that’s it. I’ll meet ya’ll in the truck.” he put his phone in his pocket then ran upstairs while Tommy and Sarah went out to get into the truck.

He got into the closet and pulled out a big box hiding behind a pile of clothes that he had wrapped in some brown kraft paper that had ‘Mi Amor’ addressed in pen on it, and wrapped with a nice deep green bow that Sarah had helped him tie.

He then knelt and pulled the lockbox out from under the bed, entering in the combo of 0720, pulling out the ring box, smiling brightly as he opened it up once more to look at it and teared up. For a moment he stopped and was thinking about how you’re going to react to all of this, he couldn’t wait to make you his fiance and then wife.

He locked the lockbox up and slid it back under the bed, then grabbed the box on the bed, put the ring box in his pocket, and headed down to the truck to join Tommy and Sarah. As he walked down the stairs he thought about how in this house, that bedroom, not too many years ago, he never would have thought a ring would be in his pocket and he would be proposing to the love of his life today.

—

14 years ago

Sarah was no more than 6 months old, Joel had come back home from work after getting a call from Rachelle that he needed home, and that it was an emergency.

He rushed through the front door, panicking as he ran upstairs, “Rachelle, what’s wrong? Where’s Sara-” he stopped seeing her packing her bags in the bedroom, moving back and forth from the closet and dresser to the suitcases on the bed.

“I’m leaving. I can’t do this anymore Joel,” she said as he shoved some clothes into the duffle bag she had opened on the bed.

Joel came over, “What do you mean? I… I don’t understand.” he started to walk back and forth with her.

She stayed quiet, continuing to gather her things.

Joel sighed, frustrated, “Will you stop and talk to me?” he moved in front of her, trying to get her attention.

She maneuvered her way around him, “There’s nothing to talk about. I just needed you home so Sarah wasn’t alone.” she grabbed a bag from inside the closet that contained her sentimental items.

“Wait- what do you mean? You… you can’t leave. You can’t leave Sarah… she needs you. I… I need you.” he followed her as she walked back from the closet to the bed.

She scoffed, “Joel, Sarah will be fine. She takes formula and is at the age where she doesn’t need a mother…” She shook her head as she put the back in the suitcase, “...and I… I never wanted this life Joel… you did.” she rolled her eyes and chuckled coldly, “I didn’t want this but you did and I was convinced that I could make it work, that if I tried, I could do it, but I… I don’t want this. I do not want to be a mother, I had dreams.” she looked at him, eyes numb, “...I’m leaving to pursue them.”

Joel looked at her and searched her eyes, “Rachelle… Sarah will need you all her life. She… we are a family. I love you, I’m sure what’s going on is somethin’ like postpartum depression, like what the doctor suggested. Please don’t do this…” he tried to take her hand but she pulled away from him and turned to walk down the hall to get some other things.

Joel stood there for a second, his heart racing, mind feeling like it was moving a million miles a minute, he snapped out of it hearing Sarah cry in her crib.

Rachelle walked past her nursey and sighed, sounding annoyed by the crying, “I… I can’t. Joel?”

Joel walked into the nursery and picked up Sarah, cradling her softly, “Shh it’s ok baby girl. Daddy’s got you.” he softly rubbed her back.

He held her close to him and rocked back and forth, humming softly as he watched Rachelle walk in and out of the bedroom, his heart slowly breaking.

He knew Rachelle was struggling and that she was having a hard time bonding with Sarah, but he didn’t think this would ever happen. He did everything he could to help her, to support her. He worked extra jobs so that they could afford child care every other day, but working longer hours meant he wasn’t there as much when she did have Sarah by herself. It felt like he was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Sarah drifted back to sleep so he gently put her back in the crib and walked out, gently closing the door enough to leave a small crack.

“What can I do or say to make you stay? I’ll do anything. Tell me, I’ll make it happen.” he said as he came into the bedroom.

“Joel, you’re not hearing me. I’m not staying.” she closed her suitcase and started to zip it up.

“Rachelle, you can’t leave…” he spoke softly, trying to stay calm, “Sarah needs a mom. She needs you. I thought we said we would figure this out, we would do this together… we made her that promise in that hospital bed, you remember?” he came up stood behind her, “Please…” he pleaded.

She took a breath and shook her head, tears falling, “Promises can be broken.” she turned around and looked at him, “Especially when it’s what’s best for everyone involved.”

Joel shook his head and tears started to form, he went past frustrated to disbelief. Something snapped when she said that.

He scoffed and jutted his jaw, “How is this best for everyone? You’re leavin’ us for your benefit!” he shouted, pointing at her.

She nodded, “Yes. I am. I’ve made my peace with that.” she said emotionless.

Joel took a breath and turned around, chuckling in anger, “I… is there someone else?”

She remained quiet for a moment then sighed, “What if there is? It’s not like we are… married or anything… we are more like co-parents than partners since Sarah was born, Joel.” she said quietly, making any excuse she could come up with.

Joel turned around and began chuckling coldly, blown away, feeling his anger brewing up, “Are you kidding me? How in your right mind do you figure that Rachelle?” he chuckled, “I… I’m sorry, but me fucking you almost every other night and us talking about potentially getting married the other week doesn’t say ‘co-parents’ to me!?” he began to raise his voice.

She looked down, avoiding his eyes, “I… I’m sorry if you’re feeling confused.”

Joel chuckled, “Confused? Confused doesn’t even begin to describe what I’m feelin’ right now!” he slapped his hands against the side of his legs in defeat and shook his head, “I… I don’t even know where all this is comin’ from. You never gave me any indication this wasn’t what you wanted! You said you were scared, but that’s what everyone says when they get pregnant by accident! Other than that, you’d never said anything, at least to me!?” he began processing things, concluding that no matter what he said or did, it was never good enough for her. Tears threatened to escape down his cheeks.

She stood there, staring at the ground, feeling nothing about what he was saying, she was disconnected long before now.

“What… what about your parents? Do they want anything to do with her if you leave because if you’re done, that’s it, you’re done, and they are too. I won’t subject Sarah to that life of half her family not loving her fully.” he said bluntly. “…you don’t get to show up one day and be the Disneyland mom that abandoned her kid and then comes to her senses years later and tries to be involved.” he pointed at her, narrowing his eyes, tears falling now, “You don’t get to abandon our daughter and then come back as nothing happened, that’s not fair to her.” he ground his teeth, anger festering.

Rachelle nodded and sighed like she was tired of the conversation, “That’s fair. I won’t come back.” she picked up her suitcase and duffle bag and began to walk out of the bedroom.

Joel shook his head and began breathing heavily, then followed after her, “What do I tell her huh? One day, she’ll ask where her mom is, what do I tell her? Do I break her heart and tell her that mommy never wanted her? Tell her that mom packed her bags and left us?” he bit at her as she walked down the stairs in front of him.

“You tell her whatever you think is best Joel, I really don’t care.” she shook her head, determined to get out of the door.

Joel let out a breath, shocked by her response, and stopped walking, standing at the bottom of the stairs as she touched the front door knob, “So that’s it? Not even going to tell her goodbye?”

She looked back at him and clenched her jaw, shaking her head, “Goodbyes are for when you’ll see the person again, goodbyes aren’t forever. This is forever. Like you said, if I walk out this door I’m done.” she looked back at the door and opened it, “I wish you nothing but the best Joel. For both you and Sarah.” she softly said before walking out the door and quietly closing it leaving Joel standing there, alone, confused and heartbroken.

—

The house and his life had a warmth to it now, Rachelle left a coldness to it when she left, sucked all the life and joy out of him for a long time that night when she left.

He barely recognized the person he was when she left them. Joel wished he could tell that young man at the bottom of the stairs, crying as he held his baby girl in his arms, feeling alone and abandoned, ‘Just wait, someone will come along to make you the happiest man alive.’

If there was one thing he would change about the relationship you two had, it would be that, for both of your sakes, you both met sooner. You wouldn’t have been with Charlie and he would have had more time with you.

Maria had been sending him small updates over the next couple hours, letting him know how you were doing, what they were doing, just keeping him informed of the mood of the day as something everyone was concerned with was your mental health so close after Reggie’s funeral. To everyone’s surprise, you were doing better than expected, which is all they could ask for.

They had run to the florist and got white roses and baby breath to decorate with and then ran to the diner about an hour before you were due to show up and got your meals from the restaurant, putting them in a cute wicker picnic basket Joel had found at a thrift store he went to with Sarah to gather things to decorate with knowing how much you loved the mall details and also loved little things that had character from the thrift stores.

The three of them went to that lookout that Joel talked about in those messages when you were away at Delta 42. He told you that you’d look at the universe while he’d hold his. In his mind, there was no better place to propose to you.

Joel parked by a tree that overlooked the city below and Tommy started to hang those fairy lights above. Sarah opened the tailgate and started helping Joel fix everything, laying out blankets and pillows to create a cozy space.

Joel then hopped out of the truck's bed, and he and Sarah started lining up battery-operated tea lights and placing about a hundred around the truck on the ground.

Sarah looked up at him, “How are you feeling?” she smiled softly.

“I’m feeling a bit nervous, but like an excited nervous, you know?” he chuckled lightly.

She nodded and chuckled with him, “I still can’t believe you’re asking her to marry you, it’s crazy that a year ago it was just you and me.” she looked down at the container she had and pulled out photos she had gathered of you and Joel, the three of you, and some of you and Sarah throughout the months, starting to wrap them around the tree as she had put them on a long string for this purpose.

Joel nodded and clicked his tongue, “I never thought I’d ever get married, if I’m being honest. I don’t think Tommy or I ever thought we’d find anyone to take on our asses.” he softly laughed.

Sarah chuckled, “I guess it took a special kind of girl for you both to find, right?” she anchored the photos and then stood up and looked back at her dad who was chuckling and nodding.

She dusted her hands off and then looked around, the sun was starting to set and everything looked so beautiful. She could tell how much thought and effort Joel put into this and knew you’d feel so special by all of this, “It looks great Dad…”

She came over and hugged him, “I’m so happy for you. I love you.”

He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head, “I love you too baby girl. Thank you for all your help and support with this.”

She smiled and then looked at the time, “Time to give Maria the call?” she winked.

He chuckled and nodded, then pulled out his phone and dialed her number.

You watched out the window as Maria drove, noticing that you had no idea where you were going.

“Jeez, these two really went out to the middle of nowhere…” you chuckled.

You began driving up a dirt path and became confused, looking around you, muttering under your breath, ‘What the hell…’

Maria continued to drive, keeping her eyes peeled out, and looked around as she drove. She approached the top of the hill and smiled as she saw Tommy and Sarah standing on the side of the road, they waved and smiled.

She pulled off to the side and opened the door, getting out, you followed and looked around, “Hey… where’s Joel?”

Sarah smiled and nodded up the road, “He’s just trying to fix something before the tow truck comes, he’s just up the path a little further.”

You looked at them all and nodded, “I see. I’ll go check on him, and see if I can help.” you smiled softly and started making your way up the path.

Tommy smiled and cleared his throat when you were far enough away not to hear, “Like a mouse falling for the cheese in a trap…” he chuckled.

Maria and Sarah started to tear up as you kept walking.

—

When you got the the top of the hill you saw the truck and Joel sitting on the edge of the bed, you giggled, “Joel?” you started to walk up to him, “What? What is all this?”

He immediately jumped off the bed and started walking towards you, smiling brightly, “Surprise darlin’!”

You chuckled and blushed, the amount of effort that went into all the details you could see was mind-blowing and made your heart race, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

He met you a little more than halfway up the path, and pecked your lips lightly, taking your hand in his to lead you to the truck, “Come ‘ere…”

You smiled as you followed him, wrapping your hand around his bicep as you walked with him, “I… I am so confused what’s the occasion?”

He kept walking and when you two got to the truck and lifted you to sit on the edge of the bed by your waist, making you giggle softly, “Can’t I just surprise you with grand and elaborate things like this?”

You looked down at him and gently took his face in your hands and leaned down, softly kissing him a few times before pulling back, “You can… it just… still knocks me out of orbit that you love me this much sometimes…” you blushed and gently caressed his cheek.

He took a soft breath in and then hopped up to sit next to you, “Well, I do have one more surprise so get back into orbit…” he winked and chuckled.

You smiled and looked at him, “What do you mean one more surprise?”

He leaned back and pulled the box that was wrapped out from behind him, “This is for you, mi vida…” he looked at you lovingly.

You gasped softly and bit your lip, trying to keep tears from falling, “Joel… what is this? What…” you shook your head, “Why?”

He smiled softly, “The only ‘why’ there ever will be is because I love you…” he leaned over and gently kissed your cheek, “Now open it, baby…”

You looked at him then at the box, then back up at him, “I… I just…” you chuckled, starting to tear the wrapping paper carefully, to reveal a box, you smiled, and opened the box which had a backpack in it and then a letter on top of it saying, “Open the backpack first then me <3…”

You set the letter to the side of you and looked at Joel, “What is this?” you pulled the backpack out of the box and gently put the box aside, then looked for the zipper. It looked like a backpack that opened somewhat like a suitcase so you laid it flat and opened it up to find a Nikon camera, multiple lenses, an SD card case, and a few other accessories, “Joel… I…” you shook your head, smiling widely, feeling overwhelmed by emotion, you teared up, “This cost a fortune baby… I…”

He scooted closer to you and gently cupped your cheek, “Before you say anything else let me just say a few things…” he gently caressed your cheek, “You deserve this. I don’t want to hear how expensive it was or how you can’t repay me… this is me taking care and supporting you and your dreams.” he kissed your forehead then nose and chuckled and when you did, tears streaming down your face.

He continued, “I already booked you with Wendy, she’s contracted with you. She also has a few other friends who want to hire you.” he tucked a strand behind your ear, “I want you to do something that you love and you love taking photos, this…” he looked down at the bag, “This is the least I can do is help you get what you need to get started, my love.”

You shook your head and chuckled, smiling widely, then leaned in and captured his lips in a deep and slow kiss, putting your hand on his chest softly.

He kissed you a few times before gently pulling back and pecking your lips, you whispered, “Thank you…” you leaned your forehead against him, keeping your eyes closed.

He leaned back in and kissed you once more, you could feel his heart pounding in his chest as your hand rested there. Yours was also pounding but for an entirely different reason, you smiled against his lips and then gasped excitedly, “Oh, the letter!” you giggled and turned around to grab the envelope, carefully opening it.

You pulled out the letter and unfolded it, smiling softly at him and then at the paper as you began to read:

Mi amor,

I think that continuing to write each other letters is a great idea and would love to do it with you. I, too, miss the excitement and thrill of seeing an envelope from you. Sarah will tell you that on days that I didn’t hear from you for quite some time, and before we had Skype to talk to each other– I’d sit there every morning and watch for the mailman to come only just to run out to the mailbox the second he left to look for your letters.

I was smitten with you so early on now that I look back on it. I think within the 2nd or 3rd letter, I had developed feelings for you. I wanted nothing more than to protect you, to take care of you. I couldn’t believe that you felt the same way when we finally admitted it– and here we are.

I constantly think back to the first time I heard your voice when Tommy and Maria had Skyped each other that one time and you and Z came in giggling. I sat on that bed and fell head over fuckin’ heels in love with you the second I realized it was your voice. I have never felt so sure about someone in my life. After Rachelle– I kept my heart very guarded and under a lot of protection, never feeling that someone would come along and completely sweep me off my feet, I never believed in love after she left.

But you swept me off my feet. You made me believe in love again.

You instantly made everything brighter, made everything warmer, and feel more alive. I can’t thank you enough for what you’ve brought to our lives, and my heart.

But–- I can try to make it up to you, make you as happy as you make me. I want to spend my life with you. I want to take care of you. I want to support you. I want to give you everything you’ve given me- peace, love, and happiness for the rest of our days. I've never known a peace like the one I have when I'm with you, mi vida.

Not too long ago, I made you a promise that one day I’d marry you, and I’d like to make good on that promise today.

With all my love,

(hopefully your fiance) Joel

You moved the letter down into your lap after reading the last sentence and found him on one knee in front of you. Instantly your eyes were misty with tears as they began to fall, softly letting out a chuckle.

He smiled lovingly, his eyes clouded with tears and cheeks rosy, holding up a ring box, nervously letting out a shaky breath before softly speaking your name, “Will you marry me?”

You put your fingers over your mouth as you begin to quietly giggle, met his eyes, nodding frantically, and let out a soft chuckle as tears continue to fall down your cheeks, speechless.

You put the letter to the side of you and quickly slid down and off the tailgate of the truck, meeting him on his knee, taking his face in yours gently, smiling and giggling, nodding again and whispering “Yes…” as you brought your lips to his in a searing passionate kiss.

He chuckled against your lips and kissed you back, putting his hand on your cheek as well, pulling back after a few kisses, “Yes?” he smiled against your lips, clarifying.

You chuckled, which turned into a giggle, “Yes! Yes, I’ll marry you.” you gently caressed his cheeks with your thumbs, looking into his eyes, you both smiling brightly.

He gently took your left hand and pulled his gaze back, with shaking hands as he was so nervous and excited, took the ring out of the box and put it onto your ring finger, it fit perfectly.

You looked down at your hand and saw the ring, “Joel this is… it’s beautiful.” you touched the ring with your other hand, fixing it to be straight.

“It’s been in my family for a couple of generations… it only felt right to make you my wife with it.” he gently took your left and hand brought it to his lips, kissing it.

Wife. His wife. That would be a thought and title you’d never tire of hearing him refer to you as.

You blushed and looked at him as he held your hand against his lips, your smile growing, “I love you… I love you so much…” You touched his cheek gently with your left hand and brought your lips to his, slowly and deeply kissing him.

He put his hands on your waist and slowly stood with you, wrapping his arm around you to pull you close, against him, continuing to kiss you deeply.

After a few moments you pulled back to look at him but then looked past his shoulder, something catching your attention, seeing someone in the distance with what you think is a camera, you chuckled nervously, “Honey, who’s that?”

Joel looked behind him and smiled then waved his hand over, beckoning them to come to you guys, “I hired someone to capture this moment for you…” he looked at you then a young man came jogging up.

“Congratulations!” he smiled brightly, shaking Joel’s hand.

You looked at Joel and teared up, “You thought about that too?” you smiled softly.

He looked at you and then shyly to the ground, “I wanted this to be perfect… the smallest details mattered and I know how much you love having things like this documented.” he then looked up at you and kissed your temple.

The young man smiled and cleared his throat softly, “My name is Eddie, it’s so lovely to meet you. I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you.” he took your hand and shook it, smiling softly. “I was just wondering if I could take a few close-ups of the ring. And then if you want, I can gather some of you both?”

You nodded hearing some of what he said, feeling completely overwhelmed. You chuckled, “Sorry, I’m still in shock. You just tell me where to be and what to do.”

He nodded and let out a light laugh, then captured some photos of the ring, some with Joel’s hand holding yours, some with your hand on his chest, and some back in the ring box.

While he was taking some photos of the truck and scene, you stepped away somewhat with Joel, completely in your own little world, you looked up at him, still in his arms, “I can’t believe all of this, I… I don’t even think I’ve seen half of the details quite yet. How… how long have you been planning this?” you combed his hair back softly.

He held you close by wrapping his arm around your waist and having his other hand splayed against your hip, rubbing it softly, “Officially… I got the ring at the beginning of the month but I’ve been putting the plan together since we got home from that dinner we went to.” he rubbed his nose against yours softly.

You smiled and looked up into his eyes, blushing, biting your bottom lip, “You’re going to be my husband…”

He chuckled softly and nodded before whispering, “And you’re going to be my wife…” then capturing your lips gently and kissing you deeply, beginning to tangle his tongue with yours.

Eddie turned around and captured some photos of you two talking then a few of you kissing each other. He cleared his throat softly, making you and Joel shyly pull away.

You hid your face by hiding in his shoulder. Joel chuckled and looked at Eddie, who chuckled as well and came closer.

“Alright you two love birds, I’m going to leave you to enjoy the moment, I’ll get you these photos within the week.” he put his lens cap on the camera.

You turned around and smiled, “Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to me to have this captured. I’m so excited to see your work.” you moved forward and hugged him softly.

He smiled and hugged you back, then pulled back and chuckled, “Congrats again. Can’t wait to see the wedding.” he winked.

You went back and settled against Joel as he pulled you in by wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing your shoulder softly, you blushed, “We can’t either.”

He smiled and nodded, “Ya’ll have a good night.” he began walking down the hill where you had come from.

You smiled and looked at the truck then saw the photos wrapped around the tree and unwrapped yourself from his arms, walking up to take a closer look, studying each one, smiling at all the memories captured.

Joel smiled watching you before he got into the bed of the truck, and opened up the picnic basket, “You hungry sweetheart?”

You turned around and bit your lip, hiding your grin, “Starving!” you got up into the bed of the truck and sat next to him, putting the blanket he was under, over your lap as well.

He pulled out the food he had ordered, “Thought the occasion called for something old fashioned and reliable.” he handed you a styrofoam box and then opened his as he opened yours, both had your favorite sandwiches and salads from the diner called ‘Franny’s’.

You hummed and kissed his cheek, “Exactly what I was craving… thank you, cowboy.”

He nodded and leaned over, kissing your temple.

You two began eating in silence for a few minutes, then you covered your mouth as you chewed, “You said this ring was in your family… how many generations does it go back?” you then leaned your head against his shoulder and looked at the ring sparkle as the fairy lights above you hit it.

Joel ate the last bite of his sandwich before he nodded, “It goes back 3 generations, we will be the 4th.”

You smiled, “Does this mean one of our kids gets it when they grow up? Sarah’s partner for her?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “No one gets it unless you want to give it up or I replace it.” he softly took your hand in his and tangled your fingers with his.

You nodded and stayed silent for a moment, then giggled, “Oh shoot, this means you beat Tommy to it!”

He joined you in chuckling and nodded, “Indeed I did…”

You smiled softly and put your food aside then wrapped your around his bicep as he continued to eat, “You know, what’s funny is Maria and I just talked about the concept of marriage with you two today while she was trying outfits on.” you rubbed your thumb absentmindedly against his arm, looking at the view of the city slowly starting to light up as the sunset.

“Yeah? Tommy’s talkin’ about marriage?” he hummed as he took a bite of his salad.

You nodded and smiled, “Maybe we’ll have a double wedding…” you teased.

Joel shook his head and chuckled, “We are not having a double wedding, my love. You’re havin’ your own damn day...” he leaned over and kissed your head.

You smiled and blushed, nodding, “Understood.”

“Big or small wedding?” Joel said after a few moments of silence.

You hummed, “Define big?”

He chuckled and leaned you both back, laying against the pillows as it started to get darker, “I think like everyone at the barbeque is big…”

You nodded, “Big then. I want every one of those people there.” you smiled and let his arm wrap around you, moving your head to lay on his chest, hearing his heart beat at a steady rhythm.

“What about you, what would you like?” you said softly.

“I want a big one, everyone there that’s supported us.” he kissed the top of your head, “That or we elope with just the two of us, two witnesses and Sarah… no in-between.” he chuckled.

You giggled, “Elope?” you moved your head to look up at him, “Goodness, you just put a ring on my finger, slow down Romeo…” you joked.

He looked down at you and licked his lips as he looked at yours, then moved slightly, enough to move so he had access to your lips, “Can’t blame me for wanting you to be my wife sooner than later, can you?” he leaned in and captured your lips in a slow deep kiss.

You blushed and cupped his cheek, kissing him back, gently pulling back, “No, I can’t.” you bit your lip, “I like being called your wife, has a nice ring to it.”

He smirked and gently nudged your nose with his, “Yeah? Mrs. Miller, my wife, has a nice ring to it?” he hovered over your lips, teasing you.

You blushed a deep shade of red and nodded, humming, “Just like calling you my husband has the same sweet ring to it.” you reached up for his lips, only for him to pull back and look down at you with eyes dark and full of lust.

“Call me that again…” he looked at your lips, hungry.

You grinned and took your hand that was cupping his cheek and ran it slowly down his chest, then pulled his belt loops gently, teasing him back in any way you could, you took your time and said sultry and slowly, “My husband…”

He growled and leaned down, capturing your lips in his, kissing you deeply and slowly, both of you started to breathe heavily and excitedly. He trailed his hand down your body and brought your dress up your thighs, moving down to kiss your neck and shoulder, “Can you take this dress off for me baby?” he said against your skin, lightly biting the skin on your collarbone.

You gasped and let out a soft moan before nodding and sitting up a little, pulling the bow that kept the top part tight and then sliding the straps off your shoulder, looking at Joel as you did this, biting your lip shyly, “Can I have my fiance help me with this part?”

Joel sat up and kissed your shoulder as he gently put his fingers on the straps and pulled them down your body. You wore no bra so your nipples instantly perked from the chill in the air that surrounded you now.

He continued to push it down your chest and torso, getting to your hips, he pulled his lips from your skin and looked up into your eyes, “Lay back, mi vida…” he said breathlessly.

You slowly lay down on your back and arched your back a little to accentuate your breasts when he had you lift your hips to take your dress off fully, blushing, leaning up onto your elbows, “Your turn…”

Joel bit his lip and stared at yours as he unbuttoned his shirt and took it off, “God you’re so beautiful…” he couldn’t help but get in between your legs and connect his lips to yours in a hurried heated kiss, pushing you to lay flat on your back.

Your hands moved to his belt as you kissed him, tangling your tongue with his as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek, to bring you closer.

He moved his lips to your jaw and then neck as your fingers pulled at his belt buckle, eventually working that to open and then unbuttoning and zipping his jeans and eagerly tugging his pants and boxers down his ass and midway down his thighs, gasping as you felt his length press up against your core, which he realized was bare, no panties, which he would have remembered if he took any off, he pulled back and kissed up your jaw, “Dime mi vida, ¿me estoy volviendo loca o no usaste bragas hoy?” (Tell me mi vida, am I going crazy or did you not wear any panties today?) he said with a strained, horse voice.

You smirked and leaned up, kissing him once slowly and deeply then sucking on his bottom lip and pulling it as you disconnected and laid back down against the pillow and kissed his chest, trailing kisses up his neck, “No te estás volviendo loco, mi amor…” (You’re not going crazy)

He let out a deep groan and his eyes rolled back as he smirked, letting out a deep chuckle, “Mmm, you’ll be the death of me with how naughty you are, querida…” he began to grind himself through your folds, holding himself steady in between your bodies.

You carded your fingers through the thick locks of his hair and held him against your skin as he began sucking love bites into your chest.

After spending sufficient time marking what was his he pulled back and looked up at you, “Come ‘ere…” he leaned down and captured your lips with his, kissing you deeply and with much love and passion. He kicked his boots off of his feet and discarded his pants as well, before he lined himself at your entrance and went to push in when he pulled back, making you moan softly.

He grinned against your lips, making you move your lips to kiss his jaw and neck, “Baby, please…” you begged, “I want you…” you gently started sucking love bites into his neck, near his pulse point, grinding your hips down to try and slip him into you with how he was perched at your entrance.

He grunted once you started marking his neck, “Oh f-fuck…” his skin prickled with goosebumps at the sensation of your lips against his neck.

He swallowed and gave in, slowly burying himself deep into you, making you inhale sharply, moaning, “Joel…” gripping onto his shoulder and hair, “Fuck you’re deep…”

He stopped when he was fully in and cupped your cheek, “Eyes on me…” he panted, “Keep your eyes on me mi vida…” he put his forehead gently against yours and gripped hips gently, beginning to thrust himself in and out of you, slowly, softly grunting and groaning.

You smiled and moaned, softly confessing, “The second you and I are married…” you gasped at a change of angle as he opened up your pelvis by putting his hand under your knee and pushing it up, cursing under your breath, lip quivering at the burst of pleasure you were feeling from this angle.

He grinned, “Keep going, the second we’re married, what do you want my love?” he cooed as he started to slowly sped up his pace, grunting through clenched teeth.

You panted and chuckled, “F-fuck… I…” your mind began to feel like mush as he was beating against that soft spot deep within, you began to talk in gibberish, feeling the warmth of your release starting to gather deep in your core.

He leaned down and kissed your pulse point, “Tell me baby… talk to me…” he kissed your neck then softly nibbled on your earlobe before saying lowly, “What can I give you when I’m your husband?”

You gripped his shoulder and held onto his hair, tugging gently as that built your climax up quickly, you arched your back and panted quickly, “Oh fuck, oh fuck… don’t stop…” you pleaded, biting your lip, whimpering.

He gently nibbled your jawline and growled, “Mmm fuck… that’s a good girl, cum on my cock…” he felt you begin to tighten around him, he gripped onto your leg tighter to hold you there, and took his other hand, gliding it up your body to grip your nipple between his thumb and finger and gently pulling towards him.

The coil deep within snapped and your head went back as your body arched off the bed of the truck, moaning loudly as you came around his cock, pussy pulsing and clenching as waves crashed down over you.

Joel grinned and praised you, “That’s a good girl, you feel so good when you cum around my cock…” he kissed your chin and throat when your head was back, trailing his nose down your chest before taking one of your nipples between his lips and sucking it gently.

You panted, chest heaving up and down as you came down from your high, combing your fingers through his hair, mumbling, “God you’re so good to me, taking care of me…” you closed your eyes and swallowed, feeling like you were floating as your orgasm settled down.

Joel pulled away from your breast with a pop and came to meet your lips, kissing you deeply and slowly, keeping a slow but deep rhythm of his cock inside you, humming as he pulled back after a few moments of devouring your lips, “Can you tell me now what you want, mi amor?” he kissed your chin gently, panting as he started to speed up his movements.

You looked at him and cupped his cheek, pulling him to kiss your lips in a searing passionate kiss before barely pulling back and whispering against his lips, “Quiero que me pongas un bebe…” (I want you to put a baby in me) you panted against his lips, moaning as he kissed your cervix with a deep thrust he did in response to your confession.

He grinned against your lips, “No me tientes (Don’t tempt me), my love, I’ll do it tonight if you want it that bad.” he grunted and began to speed up his hips into your core, gripping onto your hip and leg tightly.

You moaned as he continued to crash into you, continuing to kiss that spot and your cervix over and over, inhaling sharply, eyes rolling back in pleasure, “Don’t stop, god please… f-fuck!” you cried out in sweet pleasure, starting to grind your hips against his to create more friction in an attempt to break that coil that kept teasing you like it was going to snap.

He grunted and he moved his hand to press against the back window of the truck to steady himself over you, “Fuck baby, fuck…” he panted, sweat lightly coating his skin as he groaned in pleasure feeling you suck him deep into your core, “God… fuck…” his eyebrows furrowed. He shut his eyes for a moment, feeling that deep pull behind his navel, before opening his eyes and smiling down at you, moving his hand off the truck and cupping your cheek, “Fuck I love you, I can’t wait to marry you… see you walkin’ down that aisle in a gorgeous dress…” he groaned feeling a warmth start to move up his spine, “I can’t wait to vow my life to you… to take care of you for the rest of our days…” he panted. His hips became erratic as he softly whispered weakly as he laid his forehead against yours, “No puedo esperar a ser tu marido y tú, mi esposa.” (I can't wait to be your husband and you, my wife.)

You leaned up and whispered, “Come for me, my love.” then reached up and kissed him deeply as he whimpered against your lips, cumming deep into you, hips stuttering, his knees giving out, chest heaving.

He pulled back from your lips and cried out as you rocked your hips a little, milking him for everything he could give you, “F-fuck…” he leaned his head against your shoulder and chuckled softly, “God I love you…” he kissed your shoulder weakly and turned to kiss your neck.

You softly giggled and traced your fingers on his back, tracing love letters into his skin with your fingertips as he lay against your body, humming softly.

After a few moments, he slowly sat himself up and hissed as he took himself out of your warm core, and laid beside you, chest still heaving but slower, you leaned your head against his chest and looked up at the sky, the stars now visible and shining brightly.

He looked up at the sky with you and after a few moments you both saw a shooting star shoot across the night sky, you gasped softly, giggling excitedly, “Quick- make a wish!”

Joel pulled you closer in his arms and softly traced his thumb up and down your back, leaning his lips down to kiss your head, saying softly, “Don’t need a wish baby, I’ve got everything I could ever wish for right here…”

Previous chapter - Next chapter

taglist: @sarahhxx03, @blahkateisdone, @sunnytuliptime, @pedroscurls, @docharleythegeekqueen @pedritosgirl2000

#pedro pascal #joel miller fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfiction #joel x reader #pedro pascal joel miller #joel miller #joel miller fic #joel miller series #joel miller smut #pedrohub #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x you #joel miller the last of us #joel miller imagine #joel miller x reader #joel tlou #joel the last of us #soft!joel miller

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louisoffline · 9 months ago

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FINALLY FINISHED THE REF SHEET PLUS OTHER DRAWINGS YAAYYY okay so i had the ref sheet done basically two days ago BUT i wanted to draw some more because my ref sheets look so......just stand there kinda scary so MORE ART !!! also skip if you are seeing this when i say our mcs twin bro......we are so mind connected with the skeleton sweaters my lord when i logged on and saw that both step 2 designs had them..........my goodness..i think we might just be the same person....

I want to try and flesh out relationships and dynamics more i think thats something i kind of struggle with with ocs so..that is what the rest of this post will be backstory, character traits, etc etc if you chose to read i will love you forever

Step 1: Gosh...I love making characters really reeaaallllyyy awkward and that's exactly what Lenae is. Her awkwardness is really just stemming from anxiety or nervousness. Qiu and her's dynamic is so sweet to me I love characters being to nervous to say things and then another saysit for them omg im weak yeah thats so them. Lenae and Tam on the other hand....it's not like Lenae doesn't liker her she knows she means well and is extremely sweet but Lenae just can't understand why she is so loud and energetic all the time, she finds it hard to keep up. She IS the sweetest kid you would ever come across though, she will do anything to see you smile. Her earmuffs are a constant, everyone else may think it's just a comfort thing but it is in fact a noise thing we just don't know that yet guys(undiagnosed autism is craayyy)

Step 2: Still being that same shy, sweet kid while looking emo AND TRANSGENDER?? not for the weak. Still shy and reserved maybe even more so but no one really expects anything else. I think meek is a very good descriptor, they get freaked so so easily like has never had a peaceful day in their life. However, Halloween IS their favorite time of the year, it's an aesthetics thing i guess. If you pass by Lenae in the halls you would probably think that they were on their last few threads of patience by the sour look on their face but no, they could be having the best day of their life with that face on. They found it tiring to keep that placid smile on their face all the time when it wasn't always real. In this stage Lenae has definitely started expierimenting with different art mediums like dabbling in painting, poetry, music, you name it. Qiu and Lenae are still the bestest friends ever(bestest crushes ever???) and it's actually kind of nice to have someone by your side who knows what you're going through with your gender identity struggle and everything. Lenae for sure feels bad for how they treated Tam just because they thought she was a little much, I mean it was kind of hypocritical, so they've been trying to make it up to her by being kind of everyly nice?? oh boy oh boy

Step 3: I really don't know a lot of what I could write for step 3 since like nothing of it is out in the actual game SO were just gonna go like personality kind of wise y'know? I think they've definitely mellowed out AT LEAST A LITTLE...like omg guys they can sometimes order for themselves at restaurants!! They're very opinionated and has a strong stance on what they believe but like not in a mean way they just don't understand why others would think differently. Building on their creative abilities, they probably have plans to go to a college for art or fashion. Or maybe they'll start their own business who knows! It's okay to not have everything planned out anymore, some spontaneity is welcome in their life. Now that they've finally been able to be more open, mainly around friends, they'll say something a little too...unsettling or freaky??? to be normal, it's a little weird to get used to oopsies

AND THATS ALL if you read all of this i appreciate you becasue this has been drafted up on my computer screen for multiple days I just did not know what to say siigghhh yeah i love this kid and I hope you guys do too teehee

#our life now and forever #olnf #olnf mc #qiu lin #oc art #Lenae Figueroa

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docholligay · 2 months ago

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I AM RAISING MONEY AND HERE ARE WAYS TO GIVE IT TO ME

INITIAL DETAILS ON THIS EVENT

I'm trying to raise about $500 for each charity, which I know is a tall order! that's about $2,000 total.

I do not see a single cent of this. I don't want to! You will do this all completely through the website set up to accept donations from Yellowstone Valley Gives. I want to do something to make a difference, and more than I can do anything else, I can offer myself up to try and help out these places that really need it.

Please note that if you are American, this is tax deductible! Everything is a certified charity, and nothing I do is actually considered value ahahahah. If you are in another country, i don't know but I assume not.

So here's how it's going to kind of work, I think.

Tip of literally any amount: I will thank you on the stream or in a post, depending on what it is I'm doing. I am still kind of working with how fast I get notified of donations. This is my first year! So please be patient with me.

Live Auctions: (This could go for any price, bidding starts at 20 bucks) For things like FMA 2003 English Dub, Sailor moon, and anything else that seems like it might be fun for, I'll be doing a live auction to pick the episode. I have the whole run of SM in both the original and the Viz, and I have up to episode 15 of FMA 2003 in English (One of the few no no zones: I won't skip around on anything I'm currently liveblogging, because that's disrespectful to my patrons. So no going ahead in FMA.)

There's Too Much Money in Politics: $20, quadruples your vote in any live votes!

Change the channel, $50: For whatever I'm doing, for 50 bucks you can change the channel! (my choice)

Change the channel plus:, $100 For whatever I'm doing, you can't change the channel to whatever YOU want for the next hour or so (assuming I can get my hands on it relatively quickly)

Change the Channel Plus, locked: $250. For whatever I'm doing, you can change the channel to whatever YOU want for the next two hours (or so), and it is locked. No one can change it!

AHEAD OF TIME OPTIONS:

DocDoc Guide: For $150 bucks, you can get a two hour slot, whenever you want it in the 24 hour period (assuming it's not already taken by a paid slot) FOR $200 IT IS UNCHANGEABLE. NO ONE CAN CHANGE THE CHANNEL ON YOU. I WILL PIN SOMETHING TO EVERY POST OR THE TOP OF THE CHAT. And girl, you call it. Want me to watch Digimon? Babygirl, you got it. Play a fast-twitch reflex video game? This scrub will not get gud but she will die over and over. Want me to Noted Scholar Doc that stupid fucking episode of FMA 2003? I've always thought Psiren was making a statement about the soft power of feminine authority. Want me to drink an entire bottle of champagne while pretending to be various blorbim? This one might kill me, but it would be fun the whole time I died.

Shadow Influencer: Basically, if you want something on in your regional slot (I do not guarantee time, and it cannot be locked) offer to slip me some bills under the table. This is basically a backroom bid. I reserve the right to refuse, versus The DocDoc Guide, on which the things I would say no to are so so so limited. These causes are so important to me. (This has to be done ahead of schedule publishing. So, by like 9am Tuesday, Mountain Time)

#24 hours of holligay

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highwayorgantrade · 2 years ago

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Safe House

Pairing: Female Reader! X Soap

Request: Nooo

Summary: Oh no! A bunch of soldiers posted up in your farmhouse bed and breakfast?? Whatever shall you do!! Should you fuck them??

Word Count: 4.4k

Warnings: Overstimulation, begging, volume (keep quiet), unprotected sex, cervix kissing

Author's note: Okay listen y'all I did not plan on doing this whatsoever. I was in the middle of writing a Graves thing when I got this idea and I knew I just had to get that damn little brain worm out before it ruined my life further. This is gonna be a series!!!!!

The mission had gone wrong. Oh, so horribly wrong. 141 thought they were smart by teaming up with Los Vaqueros again to take down a trafficking ring - “Positive international relations,” Price had called it. “We even got imported muscle.” He grinned, referring to the 6’10” man they had called in, after hearing of his ability to do his job and keep his mouth shut.

However, the ring had decided on the same tactic, bringing in a nearby cartel to defend their location. Quickly, way too quickly, the group was overwhelmed, frantically phoning in to Laswell for extraction.

“Don’t worry,” She sighed, after directing the seven men to a relatively safe area, the black-tinted SUV already flying gravel. “I have a friend.”

You had just so happened to be the friend. Well, the relative was more accurate, being her sister-in-law. You knew what she did for work, but you never thought she would call on you for help with it.

“Please, (Y/N), it’ll only be for a few days, I swear. A week, tops.” She called you early one November morning. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.” And you knew she wouldn’t. The fact was simple: You had lived relatively nearby, and the bed and breakfast you operated and lived in certainly had the facilities to house eight people, and it so happened to be the off-season.

You were eager to accept, happy to help your sister, and it would be nice to have some muscle with the chores that needed done around the property. When the SUV pulled up, you quickly regretted your decision. You had expected a house full of military boys, tearing around like a pack of dogs, but out stepped six of the most attractive men you have ever seen, all completely different, but equally as handsome and rugged. Two were masked, but Christ, were they big anyway. As they loaded packs out of the van, you stepped into the grass, the cold air causing you to draw your cardigan tighter around yourself. When you approached, you kept a safe distance - partly because you didn’t know them, but also because you were afraid that if you got too close, you’d get lost in the intricacies of their faces.

“Hey!” You spoke finally, the rustling of the dying leaves nearly drowning you out. “I’m (Y/N), I hope the trip out wasn’t too awful!” You internally cringed at yourself for giving them the usual spiel you reserved for guests, but continued anyway. “Come on in, all the rooms are pretty much the same, but you can pick, so… that’s something.”

“Ay, don’t worry lass, better by miles than where we’ve been.” One of them finally spoke, casting a friendly grin your way, and you turned quickly to hide the burning on your cheeks.

You were proud of the way your property looked, hidden well off the road in a small forested area, the whole thing had kind of an eclectic feel to it, but you still felt kind of strange leading them into the common area.

“Okay!” You clasped your hands together, and tried to remember that you were only a housing opportunity - they had more important things to focus on. “Well, uh, I’ll stay out of your way as much as I can, but you might see me flitting about here and there. What’s mine is yours.” Some nodded their thanks, others were making quick work of checking their bags for God knows what, and one, the one in a skull mask, merely stared down at you, his large arms crossed on his chest.

Okay… You took that as your cue to leave, and you quickly stepped out the back door, hoping to make progress on your chores before the sun set.

The frigid air felt nearly unbearable compared to how hot you were burning in their presence - you didn’t even realize that you were slightly sweating. With a sigh, you reminded yourself of your responsibilities. Repaint the gazebo, refill and hang the bird feeders, and fix the greenery so everything is in full bloom by summer. Leaves crunched under your step as the half-painted gazebo came into view. You could hear voices coming from your house, a few with different accents, mostly British, but you could pick out a Scottish, a vaguely German, and a couple Spanish lilts. A booming laugh echoed, and you relaxed your tense shoulders at the sound.

“Don’t make me regret this, Kate.” You mumbled as you settled into the grass and popped open a paint can.

She was pretty. It was the first thing Soap had noticed. It looked like she belonged here, in the woods, with the wind blowing her hair and birds singing in her presence. No doubt she kept them well-fed. He had barely listened when she spoke - he was much too focused on how her sweater wrapped tightly around her body, or how her eyes seemed to physically sparkle with curiosity. She had said something, Soap had no idea, but he responded anyway. Something about the drive? The rooms?

“Ay, don’t worry lass, better by miles than where we’ve been.” He answered, stabbing that it was an appropriate response. The way she averted her eyes and a hint of a smile played at the edges of her lips told him that he was successful. When she turned around to lead them into the safehouse, Price gave him a nudge and shook his head ‘no.’ No fucking Kate’s pretty little sister? Might as well ask him to walk on fucking water, next.

She had promised to make herself scarce, and Soap was silently thankful. He didn’t want this woman caught up in what they were doing, and he didn’t want her to know something that could get her in trouble - Laswell would never forgive them. When she left, Alejandro was the first to speak.

“Nobody talk to me about this mission tonight.” He grumbled, and Soap recognized that as a request long ago, based on the way his jaw was clenched nearly the entire drive to the location, muttering what Soap assumed to be expletives every so often. He trudged up the stairs with his bag, Rudy trailing not far behind.��

“Right, then.” Ghost spoke, rolling his shoulders and pulling out a map of the enemy facility and laying it on the wood table, and Soap nearly laughed at how out of place it looked. “If they’ve gotten support from that gang, it eliminates them from support from anyone else, and makes them a target to others, not just us.”

“We need to get to them first.” Konig’s hand landed on the map, gesturing vaguely at an entrance. “This was lightly guarded.” Soap stared at the location, before his eyes flitted out the window to see you approaching a gazebo outside, and he itched to get this out of the way.

“Aye, they might reinforce that entrance since they know it’s weak now. Leaves somewhere else open to vulnerability.” Soap strategized, his eyes lingering on how your hands ran through your hair, and JESUS, how did it still look perfect after that? A light thump on the back of his head pulled him out of his thoughts, and he looked back to see Gaz with a raised eyebrow, the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

“No-go, mate. Red zone. Laswell would have your head on a stick.”

“Might be worth it.” Ghost chimed in, following his gaze to the woman.

Price pointed a warning finger to Ghost, his face stony.

“Ghost, stop instigating. Gaz, leave Soap alone. Konig…” He took a breath, considering the man had nothing to do with their antics. “Good job. Soap, I wish I had control over who a soldier decides to sleep with, but I don’t.”

“That girl in Ibiza left a bad taste in your mouth, Cap?” Soap retorted, recalling one of his more infamous hook-ups, and Price laughed loudly.

“Lesson for the inexperienced,” Ghost turned to Konig. “Remember your date’s name or she will throw a knife at you.” Konig shook his head at this, and slung his bag over his shoulder, ready to call it a day.

“Sounds like my kind of woman.”

Soap had already tuned the ribbing out, and when Ghost packed up the plans, he was already tracing your path, walking out the back door to meet you.

A rustling of leaves caused your head to perk up, and you turned to see the one who had spoken to you earlier, a small smile on his face.

“Need any help?” He tilted his head at the gazebo. “More hands make less work ‘n all.” You looked back at your work, having made minimal progress since you began.

“Oh! Yeah, sure. If you want.” You responded, pulling the paint tray out in front of you so he could take the spare paintbrush. A moment of silence passed before he spoke again.

“I’m Johnny. Most of the guys call me Soap, though.”

Soap? The nickname seemed to come out of nowhere, and you crinkled your nose at this.

“Why do they call you that? You shower more than everyone else or something?” He laughed at this, reaching up to cover the underside of a railing in white paint, and you fought to keep your eyes from lingering on his arms.

“Good at cleaning house, love.” Soap corrected you, your lips pursing at the nickname. “How long have you had this place?”

You shrugged, simply happy that he was making conversation with you.

“Coupl’a years. Since I was twenty. Bought it as a dump and flipped it.” He makes a noise of approval and takes a deep breath.

“Your, uh, boyfriend live here with you, does he?” At this, you can’t help but allow a laugh to tear through you, both in recognition of what Soap was doing, and out of pure shock that he was doing it.

“Not sure where my boyfriend lives, I haven’t met him yet. Let me know if you find him, though, yeah?” Soap shook his head.

“I don’t think I will, but thank you for the offer.”

The back and forth with Soap left your head reeling, and you considered your options as you painted in silence. Kate would kill you if she found out, but she doesn’t need to find out. It has been terribly long since you’ve even been on a date, or even had sex for that matter, and Soap certainly isn’t the worst looking man in the world. He clearly had a great body, and you delved down the rabbit hole of how his arms would look pinning your arms above your head, his battle-worn dog tag trailing cold electricity down your chest.

A flash of yellow light pulled you out of your musings, and a firefly landed on your knee. You took a deep breath and turned to Soap, his attention garnered by your sudden movement of waving the small bug away.

“Do you wanna have a drink tonight? With me?” Your face was comically serious, and Soap let out a soft chuckle as he replaced the lid on the paint, taking the brush from your hand.

“Aye.” He stood, sighing a bit at the noise his knees made, and handed you the paint tray.

“I’ll, uh, go put this up and meet you inside.” You offered him a small smile, and his head tilted at you, trying to hide his own.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Soap had to stop himself from running back into the house. Giddiness coursed through him, and he burst through the door to see Gaz, Ghost, and Konig sat in various places around the living room, the TV tuned in to the local news.

“Get the fuck out.” He stated simply, his eyes wide and a dumb grin on his face.

“Pardon?” Ghost barely spared him a glance, and Konig automatically stood, silently confused as to where he was supposed to go. Gaz merely stared up at him.

“I said,” Soap wrapped his hand around Ghost’s bicep and pulled, forcing the man to stand, and Gaz followed. “Get the fuck out.”

“You sendin’ us to bed, then, eh?”

Soap picked up Ghost’s bag for him, and shoved it into his chest, nearly pushing the men up the stairs.

“I am.” He turned to Gaz, his mouth already open to protest, and pointed a finger in his face. “If you fuck this up for me, I will end you.”

The second the three men shut the door to their respective rooms, you stepped back into the house, locking the backdoor behind you.

I raised an eyebrow at the television, and grinned at Soap.

“Did you turn on the news?” I ask, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine from cabinets, pouring us both a fairly full glass.

“Yeah, it’s a new form of foreplay.” He laughed, taking a sip. “Learnin’ that we world is shite.”

“Oh, so foreplay is important to you?” And that question was your first step. He glanced at you from across the kitchen island, and you could just see the gears in his mind turning, figuring out the best way to get himself into your bed. Honestly, he could have asked to bend you dead over the kitchen counter, his large hand pulling your hair as leverage as he thrusted into you from behind.

But your imagination always runs wild.

“Mm. ‘S very important.” You cocked your head at his answer, and he shrugged. “I prefer to have a girl simply beggin’ before I even think of finishing.” He took a step around the island, not quite in front of you, but leaning on the side. You sipped your wine again, trying to cover your reaction to his answer, but there was no wine glass big enough to cover how you pressed your legs together, one hand gripping the counter with slightly more force than necessary.

“How do you do that?” It was an effort to keep your tone even , trying not to show how badly he was affecting you.

“Eh.” He set his wine glass down, finger lightly circling the base of the stem. “Usually have ‘em coming a few times before I get my own.”

Holy fuck. You needed Soap, and you needed him bad.

“Ah, so only good reviews then?” Damnit, why is your voice suddenly higher? You cleared your throat to try to get it to return to normal, and the fucking bastard smirked at you.

“So far. Tell me, love.” That damn nickname again. “When was the last time you were fucked?” You opened your mouth to answer, but it didn’t matter as Soap began talking again. “Ah, lemme revise that. When was the last time you were properly fucked? The last time someone had you cryin’, had you just stupid on their cock?”

You were buzzing, shaking slightly at Soap’s vulgar words. His accent got lower, rougher as he spoke, and you could feel your arousal tying a knot in your throat.He simply stared at you, waiting for your answer with a dumb smile on his face, like he already knew.

“Oh, no, don’t tell me…” He began, in mock sympathy. “Never?” You shook your head at him, not wanting to tell him the truth.

In all reality, you’ve never orgasmed with someone else. It was all only you, and you learned quickly not to say this, as all men would try to be the first. Then you’d end the night by lying, and they would go with their egos inflated.

You both stood, the tension in the kitchen more than you could bear, and just as you were about to dismiss yourself for the night, Soap wrapped a hand around your forearm - Not tightly enough to worry you, but just enough so you looked up at him, your faces inches from each other.

“Love, I don’t like to, uh, think I’m all that, y’know?” He cleared his throat. “But I’d like to try. Show some thanks to our host.”

In one last attempt at quieting down your own perverse thoughts, you set your wine glass down, and looked at the floor.

“Ah, you don’t need to thank me Soap.”

“I absolutely do,” He responded immediately. “I really do need to. Nothin’ better than a pretty face while I work.”

You bite the inside of your lip, considering all the ways this could go bad. Every single one was overrun with the way Soap was searching your eyes, silently pleading for you. With a purse of your lips, you poured the rest of your wine down the sink, and smiled.

“Absolutely.”

You barely got the words out before Soap wrapped his arm around your waist and lifted, slinging you over his shoulder and making his way up the stairs, searching for any room that didn’t look like it was already occupied.

“Mine’s on the other end.” You breathed in an effort not to laugh at his eagerness, and he turned on his heels toward a door that was differently painted than the rest. He placed a hand over your head, protecting you from a bump as he ducked through the doorframe, and less-than-gently set you on your bed, locking the door behind him.

When he turned, you didn’t see the sweet man offering to help you with painting, you saw a soldier. A soldier tuned into your every breath, every movement, and every thought. He kneeled in front of the bed, between your legs, and began planting lighter than air kisses on your ankle, untying your shoes and setting them to the side haphazardly.

“Red means stop.” He whispered against your skin, traveling upward to your knee. “Yellow is slow down, green is good. Repeat it.”

“Red is-“ You were cut off by your own gasp as he delivered a light bite to the inside of your thigh before kissing it again, and you could feel him smile against you. “Red is stop. Yellow is slow. Green is good.”

“And where are we now?” He breathed against the spot right where your thigh met your most sensitive area, and you felt your stomach jump.

“Green. So, so green.” A whimper escaped you, and Soap tsked, like he was about to scold you.

“Stay quiet, lass.” Teased Soap, as he slid your shorts down, along with your underwear, and he whistled lowly. “A Chriosd ann an ifrinn, seall ort, a nighean bhòidheach.” And with that, he licked one long, thick strip up your cunt, dipping down to tease your hole with his tongue. Soap was eating you out like a man starved, and you were obsessed.

Light, breathy moans left you, ever so aware of how quiet everything else was.

“Tell me what feels good, love.” He punctuated his command with a nip to your thigh, pulling your mind out of the pleasure-induced haze. His tongue traveled through your folds, eyes trained on you to see your reaction to his ministrations. Soap’s lips wrap around your clit, fingers toying with your soaking entrance, and it felt like all rational thought had left you. You didn’t care about who exactly was between your legs, nor if his team could hear your desperate mewls.

The pressure inside you was building, and your movement was strange - trying to wriggle away from the incessant barrage against your clit, and trying to grind impossibly closer to Soap’s lips, and by his huff, it was clear he had enough of that. One large arm wrapped around a thigh, his other pressing down on your abdomen, and the only noise Soap could muster was a few low groans as he continued devouring you.

The knot inside you was getting tighter and tighter, and it felt like it was going to snap any second. A split moment of panic ran through you as your back arched off the bed, Begs and cries tumbling out of your lips before you could think of them.

“Soap, please, please.” You cried, hands aching from gripping the sheets. “Please don’t stop, please…” Staying true to your direction, Soap was unrelenting against you, the combination of his sucking, biting, and licking at your clit had dizzy spots appearing in your vision. With one hard push on your abdomen, and a particularly slow drag of his tongue at your entrance, you felt that snap, and you finally understood why it was called the Little Death.

Your mind had gone completely blank, mouth open in a silent scream, and your thighs clamped around either side of Soap’s head, where he still had yet to stop drinking you. It felt like your heart had even stopped beating, until the pounding was heard in your ears. As Soap continued, you felt your body lurch upwards, fingers tangling in Soap’s hair until he finally looked up at you, his hand coming back to slide a finger into you.The sudden intrusion forced a gasp from you, and he gently kissed your thigh, where you noticed the ache that predates a bruise.

“How we doin’, love? We okay?” His voice was impossibly sweet, a complete 180 to how he just made you feel. You nodded, despite feeling like every single sense in your body had been blown out. His finger continued sliding in and out of you, your walls pulsing around him.

“Green.” You confirmed breathily, and he smiled a wolfish grin before adding a second digit into you, his pace quickening. A quick flash of aggravation and desperation coursed through you, and you knew how to get exactly what you wanted.

You looked down at him, eyebrows upturned in a pleading look, and your doe-eyes were working overtime.

“Please, Soap, just fuck me.” You said, voice higher and more gentle than you thought it would come out, and he groaned, rolling his head against your leg. His fingers took on a ‘come here’ motion, and your eyes rolled in the back of your head at the feeling.

“Ah, I know what you want. You want these…” Soap planted a kiss on your thighs, interrupting his own speech. “God, these pretty thighs pinned behind your head, taking me so well, takin’ me so good.” He looked absolutely pussydrunk, his eyes darting between your eyes and his fingers, tsking and offering a slight noise of false sympathy when a tear rolled down your cheek. Your walls pulsed around his fingers, and you could feel that fire building inside of you again. “Christ, love, you wanna come again, huh?” You nodded furiously at his question, one hand coming up to absentmindedly play with your tits. A bright look crossed Soap’s face, and while his hands continued, his mouth met your hands.

His lips wrapped around your nipple, and before you could think, he bit down - the orgasm that crashed through you was stronger than the last, and the muscles in your thighs screamed from being clenched so tightly. You felt his fingers work their way out of your pussy, hissing at the feeling of your walls clenching around nothing.

“You want me to fuck you now, pretty thing?” His face was almost smug as he climbed up on the bed, one hand going to your lower back to effortlessly raise you, and he peppered light kisses on your sweat-covered face. Of course you want him, how could you not? Your body was buzzing with the aftershocks of two orgasms, and here he was, lining himself up with you.

“God, yes, please.” You breathed, hands coming to rest on his back. Soap brought his lips down next to your ear, sending another shock straight to your core.

“Beg better.” He punctuated his command by rubbing his cock through your folds, and you twitched when the head ground against your already sensitive clit. Beg better? Fuck you, Soap.

You took his face in your hands, forcing him to look at you and, hopefully, how serious you looked.

“Fuck me, Soap. Now.”

The simple instruction was all it took for him to push inside you, and it was like it activated something in him - Soap simply could not shut up.

“Ach, mo Dhia, tha thu a 'faireachdainn cho foirfe timcheall orm. So perfect.” He planted a kiss to your temple. “So perfect, my pretty girl.”

You brought your lips up to his neck, kissing the curve where it meets his shoulder, and his babbling only continued as his cock dragged against nearly every nerve, your broken moans echoing through your room. God, his slow pace was nearly agonizing, you wanted more, you needed more. It was like Soap read your mind as he paused, hooking your knees above his shoulders, effectively pinning you into the mattress. He flashed you a wicked grin before he began his jackhammer pace, and this new position had him reaching impossibly deep inside you.

A vague, low ache began in your abdomen every time he bottomed out, his head kissing your cervix every single time. The depth combined with his pace, his groaning and endless praise in your ear - it felt like it was all culminating in a perfect storm, one that was threatening to break down every fibre of your being.

“Fuck, Soap, I’m going to-” You interrupted yourself with a low, hoarse groan, your admission only spurring him on as he replaced his hold on your knees with his hands.

“Look at me, love, I wanna see it, I wanna see you.” His stuttering hips told you he was in the same spot as you, and you both were not going to last much longer. “Come for me, pretty girl.” He growled, and that was all it took for you.

Your legs shook uncontrollably as you released around him, and your ending brought his own on. Curses left him lips as he buried himself inside you, collapsing next to you.

“Ach, come ‘ere.” He breathed, reaching his arm out to hook around your waist and pulling you to him, one leg wrapping around his waist. One hand rested on your jaw, planting kisses on your forehead, cheek, anywhere he could get access to. Your body felt numb, and you knew he stayed true to his word - you were fucked absolutely stupid. You wanted to talk, you wanted to ask where this left you? Would you ignore that this happened? Would it recur? Would he tell his team about it? You wanted to ask, and yet you didn’t - The song of crickets and his heartbeat was a lullaby, and one that you couldn’t fight.

The snare of sleep overtook you as your heart rate evened out, and only one thought was on your mind before you gave up the fight for consciousness:

You really fucking hope you don’t regret this.

#mw2 #john soap mactavish #soap x reader #john mactavish x reader #call of duty fanfic #cod x reader

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vampireimiko · 2 years ago

Note

Could I request neuvillette x male reader?

M!reader personality: flirty, mischievous, hard to fluster, can be extremely rude, can be perverted

M!reader region: fontaine

M!reader species: kitsune

M!reader occupation: model

M!reader looks: Slim, curvy, shoulder length hair, shorter than average, he also wears heals most of the time

Extra

Likes: Modeling, skincare, makeup, getting his nails/hair done

Dislikes: getting his makeup ruined, getting his hair ruined, dirty things

M!reader extra: extremely popular, extremely attractive, cares alot about his looks, wears some makeup(eyeliner, mascara and lipstick) can be a bit of a narcissist sometimes

Oh and could he be more submissive in the relationship (not sexually)

Neuvillette x Male! Reader Headcanons

warnings, none !!

note, GAHHH THIS HAS BEEN DONE FOR A FEW DAYS NOW 🤕 I've just been sick and busy 😭🙏🏾 also i need more genshin mutuals so hmu 🤓☝🏾

જ⁀➴ How you and Neuvillette got together will always be a mystery to the citizens of Fontaine. You two were the complete opposite of one another—where you were flashy and always embraced extravagance, Neuvillette was mostly quiet, speaking only when necessary, and approaching things with simplicity.

જ⁀➴ But against all odds, you and Neuvillette found a way to be together. He became the steady and supportive boyfriend who held the fort in Fontaine, while you embodied the charismatic persona that seemed to charm its way into everything you desired, often accompanied by an effortless air of confidence.

જ⁀➴ Neuvillette's days were consumed by the responsibilities of his position as Chief Justice. On the other hand, you reveled in the luxuries that life in Fontaine provided, a lifestyle that resonated with your natural inclination for the extravagant. You were known not just for your striking looks and unique aura but also for your audacious approach to life.

જ⁀➴ Speaking of couple activities, you found immense joy in playing tricks on Neuvillette, fully embracing your Kitsune nature. From innocently hidden notes to elaborate pranks, you delighted in bringing moments of surprise and laughter into his orderly world. The faintest smile would dance at the corners of Neuvillette's lips, a testament to your success in tugging him out of his formal shell, if only momentarily.

જ⁀➴ Your mischievousness, paired with your innate flirty and perceptive nature, often led to playful banter and witty exchanges between you two. Neuvillette, who rarely allowed himself to be easily flustered, found himself occasionally caught off guard by your audacious comments and innuendos. It was a dance of wit and charm, a constant push and pull that brought a dynamic energy to your relationship.

જ⁀➴ As a model, you knew the value of appearances and the art of presenting oneself flawlessly. It was a commonality that further bonded you and Neuvillette. He might have held a position of authority, but your shared appreciation for grooming and style connected you on a different level. There were instances when you both would spend leisurely evenings together, experimenting with skincare routines or discussing the latest trends in fashion.

જ⁀➴ Despite your sometimes provocative nature, you respected Neuvillette's reserved demeanor. It was in those quiet moments that you found yourself drawn to his depth, his thoughtful perspectives on matters that transcended the superficial. Neuvillette's presence allowed you to explore your own complexity, inspiring you to embrace more facets of your personality beyond the outward flamboyance.

જ⁀➴ So with that being said, you and Neuvillette were definitely opposites of each other through and through. But you loved and cared for one another dearly, despite the contrast of your personalities.

𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐒𝐎 𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄... 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐚𝐲𝐬💀 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐚𝐲, 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 !

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

#spirits works 🤍#neuvillette #neuvilette genshin #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x male reader #neuvillette x you #genshin impact #genshin #genshin x male reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin fanfic #male!reader #male reader #x black male reader #x poc reader

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senjutsunade · 6 months ago

Text

Godaime Characterization

Note: This became a bit too long but I feel will be useful for those who interact with me.

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while, and now that my keyboard’s finally cooperating, it’s time—

My portrayal of Tsunade is that of someone unapologetically snarky and, at times, delightfully full of herself. But this summer, a nagging doubt crept in: am I depicting her right? Or worse, am I letting my own personality bleed into her characterization?

So, I went back to the source. I rewatched every scene of hers in the anime, scrutinized every manga panel featuring her, and came to a glorious conclusion—the woman is a menace. She’s brutal with her words, smug as hell, and absolutely insists on having the last say. Any reservations I had went straight out the window, and my Tsunade officially became the reigning queen of snark.

That left me wondering: why had I doubted myself in the first place? The answer was clear—fandoms. They’re incredible spaces, no question, but sometimes, fanon bleeds into canon so much that the lines blur. Over time, Tsunade’s portrayal shifted. In fanart and fanfiction, she’s often reduced to either the “drunk grandma” trope or a hypersexualized symbol, and somewhere along the way, her canon personality got lost in the shuffle.

But NOT here. Not on this blog. Tsunade is no one’s trope.

Why is she the way she is?

She’s a prodigy, plain and simple. The fandom tends to forget that sometimes. Tsunade became a Genin at six. Six. By the time most kids are learning to tie their shoes, she was already on her way to revolutionizing the medical field—single-handedly, might I add. She defeated Chiyo, the world-renowned poison specialist, while still in her teens. Let that sink in.

She’s also a Senju. One utterly spoiled by her grandfather. Shinobi royalty, through and through, treated as such from the moment she could walk. The “Hime” title isn’t just for kicks—it holds weight. Even Danzō uses it, and we all know he doesn’t do respect lightly. Tsunade was used to getting her way from an early age and rarely, if ever, heard the word “no.”

Her teammates? Just as guilty. Watch any scene with the three of them, and you’ll see it. Jiraiya and Orochimaru practically invented the art of indulging her. No matter how outrageous or dramatic she was being, they always gave in. They solidified her Hime lifestyle long before anyone else could question it.

And then there’s her clan name—that privilege that few in Konoha could dream of having. When she decided she was done with shinobi life and walked away, leaving the village to wander the world, what happened? Nothing. No hunter-nin were sent after her. Anyone else would’ve had a team on their trail within days, but not her. Being a Senju gave her a free pass.

Here’s the thing: Tsunade likes to have her way. Always has. But the difference? She’s got the skillset to back it up. Honestly, who in their right mind would dare to challenge her?

The Konoha I write is a far cry from the idealized version often found in most fan portrayals. There are no shining heroes here—save for Naruto, the outlier. My depiction leans heavily into the grim reality of what it means to be a shinobi.

What are shinobi, truly? They are assassins, thieves, spies, saboteurs, and manipulators, trained from childhood to master the art of psychological warfare. They operate in shadows, their hands stained with blood, their morality twisted into shapes that serve their purpose. Their loyalty isn’t to some lofty ideal of justice—it’s to their Hokage and their nation. Konoha and Hi no Kuni come first. Always.

To protect those, no act is too foul, no line too sacred. Once they fasten that hitai-ate, they cease to be individuals with their own wants or friendships. They become weapons—willing, obedient tools forged in fire and duty. On missions, there is no room for personal morality, no hesitation over relationships or past bonds. A shinobi of Konoha will burn villages, poison wells, and manipulate lives if the mission demands it.

This is the shinobi world—cutthroat, ruthless, and unrelenting. My Konoha basking in sunlight is more an illusion; in truth, it thrives in the shadows, because that’s what it takes to survive.

As the leader of such people, my Tsunade is no heroine. Her loyalty lies with Konoha—her homeland, her inheritance, her duty—and she will protect it at any cost. This is the essence of leadership in a world as brutal as theirs.

Take, for example, the moment she places a bomb seal on Kakashi and sends him to Hiruko, knowing full well it could mean his death. She hates it but goes through with it. Doesn't hesitate—not because she’s heartless, but because the mission demands it. Protecting Konoha always comes first, no matter the personal toll.

Then there’s Jiraiya. Sending him to Ame wasn’t a decision she made lightly, but it was one she made without faltering. He was the best suited for the mission, and as Hokage, her duty was to assign it. Even when it meant sending her oldest friend to what might as well have been his grave. She hated it, but it was her duty to send the best person for the job, even if it was her best friend.

Tsunade’s choices aren’t about heroism; they’re about survival. That’s the cold reality of leading shinobi.

As Hokage, Tsunade isn’t here to coddle her shinobi. She doesn’t have the luxury of being soft or overly kind—not like Sarutobi was. Her leadership is harsh, but fair, grounded in the cold reality of their world. Konoha’s survival depends on it.

The village has lost too much—too many shinobi, too many elite warriors. The wars, the Kyuubi attack, the Uchiha Massacre, the Suna/Oto invasion… each loss has chipped away at Konoha's strength. The names they’ve lost are legendary: Hatake Sakumo, Kato Dan, Namikaze Minato, Uchiha Fugaku, Orochimaru, Uchiha Shisui, and Uchiha Itachi—shinobi who had the power to solidify Konoha’s reputation as the greatest force in the shinobi world. Now? That power is gone.

Tsunade doesn’t have the luxury to be kind. She doesn’t have the luxury to be gentle. Every decision, every action, must be ruthlessly pragmatic. Konoha can’t show weakness. If it does, every other nation will pounce. They’ll capitalize on it—crush that illusion of Konoha's might.

After their defeat in the Third Shinobi war, Kumo and Iwa were desperate for the chance to topple Konoha. Tsunade knows this better than anyone. And she’s prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure the village’s strength isn’t seen as anything less than absolute.

Her personality as Hokage is often reduced to that of an angry, impatient, sullen woman. That’s the general consensus, isn’t it?

Let’s break that down.

Yes, she’s angry. But why?

It’s because the state of Konoha when she returns as Godaime is a direct affront to everything she’s ever stood for. Konoha is barely hanging on, and it terrifies her. The administration? A disaster. The hospital? Using techniques she’d deemed redundant and inferior more than twenty years ago. The village infrastructure? In shambles. The elite shinobi? Either dead or too wounded to serve. Konoha is bleeding out in every sense of the word, and no one is acknowledging the scale of the damage.

They’re broke. The shinobi who remain are spread thin, and they can’t take missions fast enough. Refusing missions? It’s not an option. The clients they depend on would abandon them, and with that would come the collapse of Konoha’s reputation, its economy, and its power. The other villages are hungry, and they would use this vulnerability to tear them apart.

So what does she do? She sends exhausted, overworked shinobi—people who don’t even know her, who are only loyal to the Hokage title she was suddenly thrust into—on missions. No breaks. No recovery. Physically drained, mentally shattered. Tsunade KNOWS how dangerous it is, how damaging this will be. She knows this could ruin any future relationships with these nin, but she has no other choice.

For Konoha’s survival, for the survival of the Will of Fire and everything it stands for, she has to bury her compassion, stifle the medic within her, and step into a role she never wanted.

Because sometimes, survival doesn’t care about what you want. It only cares about what you’re willing to sacrifice. As a war veteran, she understands that.

She lacks patience. Why? Because while all of this is happening—while her focus should be on pulling Konoha from the brink—the damn council insists on getting in her way. They act like they can push her around, like they can dictate the way things are done—the way things have always been done. Politics. She hates that shit. She doesn’t have time to deal with their petty games. But the village is still unstable. The system is crumbling. So she grits her teeth and tolerates their interference, for now. She knows that once she has a firmer grasp on things, once Konoha is breathing again, she’ll finally be able to shove them all out of her way and take control. Until then, it’s just another battle to survive.

She is sullen. Why? Because in a matter of days, her world has been reduced to a narrow, suffocating window. She’s always been a free spirit—wild, untamed, the kind of woman who craved freedom, who spent the last two decades roaming, choosing her own pace, living without the burden of responsibility. Now, she’s shackled to duty. She understands the weight of the job, the honor, the privilege of the seat her ancestors once held. She respects it, gives it her damned best. But it’s a duty she never wanted. And that realization eats at her, slowly, like a poison she can’t spit out. It takes its toll, grinding her down, moment by moment. This was her brother's dream. Her lovers dream. Her having it is a double edged knife.

She’s back in a village that mirrors the one she left behind, yet it feels so alien. So many faces are missing—comrades, friends, family—gone, never to return. Does anyone else realize that an entire generation—her generation—never made it home from the war? That she’s one of the few survivors, one of the handful of nin out of hundreds? Do they understand the emptiness that lingers in the village, the gaping hole left by those who used to fill it? She does. And it fucking hurts. She barely recognizes anyone here anymore. The ones she does know—Shikaku, Inoichi, Choza, Kakashi, Genma—she remembers them as bumbling, clumsy Gennin and Chūnin. Not as the adults they’ve become. It’s… disorienting. The sharp, bitter jolt of seeing them as grown nin. Something she didn’t expect.

She’s fucking irritated. The state of the village, the crumbling infrastructure, the political cesspool she’s had to wade into—it’s all too much. And it's endless. Paperwork and reports pile up like a mountain she has to climb every damn day. She's forced to get reacquainted with the village she once knew so well, only to realize that it’s changed in ways she could never have imagined. The entire structure has shifted since her absence. The leadership, the economic landscape, the political networks—everything has morphed into something she never trained for, never prepared for.

She was never meant to be Hokage. Hell, she was never trained to be Hokage. She’s a medic, a fighter, a leader by force of will, not by political maneuvering. But now, she’s thrust into this position without warning, without preparation. She’s forced to navigate through a maze of alliances and rivalries, figure out the intricacies of the village’s economy—an economy that’s buckling under the weight of too many wars, too many lost resources—and the cold, calculating clan politics that lurk in the background, waiting to seize any opportunity to further their own agendas.

On top of all this, she has to ensure the day-to-day operations of the village run smoothly. Shinobi still need missions. The people still need security. The economy still needs to turn, even as it teeters on the brink of collapse. All this responsibility weighs on her shoulders, with resources running dangerously low, and no clear path forward.

She’s brilliant, yes. But this? This is a goddamn nightmare. Balancing all these responsibilities with nothing but her sharp instincts and raw determination? It’s like trying to juggle a thousand knives with only one hand. And the worst part? She can’t let it show.

In light of all this—

For most of her shinobi, Tsunade is a no-nonsense, iron-fisted leader. Loyalty isn’t just expected; it’s demanded. Unquestioning. Absolute. These are her subordinates, not her friends, and they will respect that distinction. She doesn’t have the time, the patience, or the luxury to coddle them. Her expectations are high, and she won’t tolerate the slightest hint of insubordination. They’re tools, necessary for the survival of the village—and they better damn well know their place. The fact that the name of each nin that never returns home from mission is carved on her heart is a secret she shares with no other. The longer the list becomes, the less she sleeps.

Then, there are the nin who eventually become part of her inner circle—

The ones who get to see beyond the Hokage title, those fools she’s somewhat at ease with. The idiots who can get away with being obnoxious and absurd around her. They take the brunt of her endless snark and biting insults—don’t mistake it, though, there’s no permanent damage. Just enough to keep them in line and remind them who they’re dealing with. It’s the price they pay for being in her somewhat trusted circle. But then they of course know when to abuse their freedom and when to bow before their leader's will with no questions asked. Tsunade trusts them to know this.

Among this circle, the most prominent is Kakashi—her right hand. She considers him one of her closest friends, despite his tendency to be an irritating enigma. Then there’s Shizune, often seen as Tsunade’s assistant, but her actual role goes far beyond that—she’s an advisor, head of the Hospital, and reformist, shaping the place into something Tsunade would approve of.

Shikaku enters the fold next, stepping up as her left hand, a level-headed voice in the storm.

Then, her guards—Genma, Raido, and Iwashi. They’re stuck with her now, so she may as well make it worth her while to torment them. Genma, in particular, becomes her favorite target. He gets away with being far more obnoxious than the others, but also endures the brunt of her snark and absurd demands.

Anko, the ever-persistent menace, forces her way onto the list. Tsunade doesn’t have the energy to kick her off, so she stays—reluctantly. It’s not like Tsunade can’t handle her, but sometimes, the headache isn’t worth it.

Gai. His eyebrows will forever make Tsunade cringe. And if he cries one more damn time about how much he respects her “power of youth,” she’s going to be the one to make him lose all his hair. She has her limits, and that? That is crossing them.

Izumo and Kotetsu—her favorite jesters. Reliable idiots, the pair of them. She has a soft spot for them. Why? She doesn’t know. She just does, dammit.

Ibiki—Tsunade works closely with the stoic man for weeks and learns to appreciate his dark humor. The man’s got a decent alcohol tolerance, and Tsunade takes a twisted satisfaction in watching him terrorize his subordinates. A kindred spirit if there ever was one.

Shikamaru—Goodness, the Nara kid had no right to be as damn tactical as he was. Besides, he was the only one who could balance out Naruto’s absolute stupidity. Some days, she wonders if the kid's maturity came straight from his smarts or his sheer exhaustion from putting up with everyone else’s nonsense.

@konohagakurekakashi & @minaa-munch I finally got around to this after forever. Cold medicine gives me twitchy fingers. xD

#Character Reference #This portrayal isn't everyone's cup of tea and I respect that #But this is how I will run this blog #HC #headcanon #head canon #Senju Tsunade #tsunade #tsunade senju #senju tsunade #sannin

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spacemonkeysalsa · 11 months ago

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I read about an evil magistrate in another Faerûn city, a few decades after Astarion had that job in Baldur's Gate and it has me thinking about his pre-vampire days, and my irl time as a Las Vegas law clerk. A lot.

Full disclosure: I feel a little guilty that I wrote so much on this topic rather than on one of my fics.

I wrote very little in July 🫣but it's because I was drawing and reading instead.

I read 13 books, but they were the first 13 Legend of Drizzt books.

And while writing fic, I've avoid details about Astarion's background as a magistrate, for reasons I've talked about a lot before, but I might need to rethink that, because one book in the Drizzt series just gave me SO MUCH context for what the world was like around the time that Astarion would have had this job, and also, what that job was like, and how it was very effected by geography and race. And I have THOUGHTS. Thousands of words of thoughts, apparently, below the cut.

TL;DR - The popular idea that pre-Cazador Astarion is the biggest possible asshole so he "earns" his fate is boring as hell, not actually supported by canon, or the examples of magistrates that we see in FR (who don't even need to be corrupt to satisfy cruel inclinations) and I deeply prefer going in a totally different direction. Below the cut is me working through my headcanon, and why I came to these conclusions.

I tagged this appropriately I think, but to emphasize, topics of relevance include horror movie tropes, torture, the deeply flawed American justice system, and the even more deeply flawed one in Faerûn as described by the Forgotten Realms novels I've read and the mentions/demonstrations in Bladur's Gate 3.

If you feel you need to avoid thinking about all of that, you are valid, and probably more correct than me for doing so.

And as always, it's just my opinion, based on my experiences. All headcanon is equally headcanon.

To start, I'm going to briefly reiterate that:

Astarion's canon backstory is thin on purpose and that all we really know about him is that he was a magistrate with not-red eyes who made an unpopular ruling that was unpopular for an unspecified reason and got jumped by Gur for a (heavily implied to be unreliable narrator influenced) reason.

That artbook is a developmental tool that is actually less likely to ever be considered canon than even a later stage developmental tool like a full manuscript outline precisely because of its position in the process.

But, before I get into what I read in Drizzt, I want to establish that my head space started from thinking about how much sadder it is if Astarion actually did have compassionate ideals and a balanced sense of justice prior to Cazador. The reason I think it's sadder is best illustrated by the choice to either make a doomed horror movie character sympathetic or an asshole. What happens to Astarion is basically a horror show, and some people prefer those fates are reserved exclusively for asshole victims. There's reasons to write this way, and it can be done well, but it's very easy to make it feel cheap and contrived and it's usually a sign of an amateur production, and a quick way to make an accessible film rather than a good one. Another option (which can also be done well or done poorly) is to harm characters who did absolutely nothing wrong.

To be clear, whether or not we like a character doesn't affect whether or not they "deserve" death. Horror movies often deal with totally disproportionate consequences, and the gruesome fate not really being "earned" can be an inherent part of the horror regardless of our sympathy.

But, I'm not sad when the evil teenagers in Toxic Avenger are killed. I am not that sad when Jigsaw's traps prove to be too much for his chosen victims. What happens to Julia's marks in Hellraiser doesn't move me as much as what's going on with Kirsty, even if they didn't deserve it, because they aren't particularly sympathetic.

And the thing about using characters like that is that it's not realistic. And to be clear, I don't think you always have to be realistic to tell a good story, in fact, please don't always cling to realism. But realism in characterization is usually a stronger choice, and should be considered generally. Most people are not as flat and unsympathetic as the asshole victims in slasher flicks. Even people who do bad things are not so one dimensional as to instill no sympathy in irl humans. I think people like to flatten Astarion in their mind, so that they don't have to confront the fact that very bad things happen all the time, and that most people didn't do anything to earn a horrible fate.

In the specific case of what happened to Astarion, even if he was a bad person, it's very difficult to ever make 200 years of torture, the loss of autonomy, exploitation on every level, including physical, sexual and psychological abuse, ever feel proportional. So at this point, some people need something to make it seem more just. Either because they hate the character, and want to feel that hating the character is objectively correct, or their worldview includes an idea of justice that can't accept such disproportionality.

And if you need that for your headcanon, dope. you're allowed whatever headcanon you want.

The "corrupt magistrate" thing isn't canon. It's headcanon. I understand that some people who really seem to know what they are talking about said it was canon, that's because they are wrong. People are wrong sometimes.

I recently became aware that although I thought we were all playing the same game, a bunch of players have never seen what I've seen, because it's all missable content. And, because everyone knows there's a bunch of stuff they haven't seen, it's real easy to just believe any random person on the internet who tells you something is buried deep in the game that you don't know about.

This specific situation with Astarion's canon backstory is that you'll never find much in the game, no matter how much you play, because there's nothing to find. Here's the facts: -There was never anything about Astarion being corrupt in the game, in early access, or in any of the writing that made it to recording. It was an idea that was discussed very early on---like back when we almost had a werewolf companion, (RIP Helia, you would've loved what I put you through) and they went in a totally different direction. Essentially, just imagine what they ultimately ended up doing with Gortash, and know that they were thinking about doing something similar with Astarion, but a long, long time ago.

-In the game, he'll lie and tell you he's a magistrate in Baldur's Gate and that it's tedious.

-Or, if you wait to ask him about himself until after you know he's a vampire, he'll tell you he was a magistrate, punishing troublemakers.

-Backstory complete!

-Art books are great, and beautiful, and it's baffling to me to see fans treat them like canon content, because if anything, they demonstrate various attempts to put together a story that ultimately didn't land for the creators. I love using materials like this when I write, I create character sheets and artbooks for my work all the time, and part of their charm is the features that didn't make it into the final work. Minthara is no longer an elven cleric, Shadowheart isn't covered in tattoos, and Astarion isn't one of corrupt elite of Baldur's Gate, or even elite, or a courtesan. Stop bringing up the artbook, you're embarrassing yourselves.

-There's actual explicit dialogue in game in which Astarion says he doesn't remember much from before he was turned. He says the person he was is gone, nothing left but a name on a rock. That's what's intentionally in the game. I think this is brilliant, because I think his character represents loss in a really poignant way, and that if they included anything too detailed about who he was before he got turned, that would undermine this theme, in a way that's especially unnecessary. It's better to keep it purposefully blank. A void of nothing. I'm actually really surprised that they didn't do this for Shadowheart, given that she's a Sharran, but in her story, we actually see a really nice counterexample: she does recall small details about her time in the city. Coming back there triggers memories and if you find all three of them---[spoiler deleted, please message me if you want to know about this, I've been informed I shouldn't just shout this out, because some people like to discover this stuff on their own. But also I'm not a gatekeeper, if you really want to know, I'm happy to tell you]. There's none of that for Astarion, in fact, if you go to the cemetery looking for his grave, which is something I think a lot of us did, you won't find any mention of him anywhere, but you will find one of those Shadowheart memories if she's with you. You only get to see Astarion's grave briefly, if you're romancing him, and even then, he once again takes the opportunity to talk about the person he once was truly is lost to him (and to us) and gone forever, long before we ever had the chance to know him.

It's tragic, and kind of perfect.

And in the meta of all this, it's intentional that we'll never known him. We might think we do, but we literally can't, because it's not in the story.

Which is good because it would ruin the scene a bit if he'd been like "btw I was a real piece of shit lmao." Just like it kind of ruins the affect of the empty backstory to go ahead and add a backstory.

But. We're curious, we speculate, and we expand, that's what fanfiction is for—it exists outside of the canon. I usually write post-canon, canon-consistent content, but there's a possibility I'll need to add a few scenes from Astarion's mortal life in this one fic—maybe not, idk—but in preparation for maybe doing that (or not), I had considered working through what I think his life was life before he was turned, and the events leading up to Cazador capturing him. I wasn't sold on the idea, but I was thinking about it.

And, then I started reading Spine of The World, which features an actual magistrate from DR 1365. This one is um. Corrupt. Or, at least, we would consider him to be corrupt? He's actually doing his job perfectly according to the very messed up justice system in Luskan, where he works. They don't have a concept of burden of proof there, or of innocence at all after you manage to get yourself arrested, and instead essentially just torture people to death publicly and explicitly for entertainment. It's not chill. It's not subtle. They call it Prisoner's Carnival.

This magistrate has Astarion's exact job, in a different city and a few decades later (and those differences matter, we'll get to it) but the important features are the same. So, here's some things to note: being a magistrate is a position of limited power, you have total discretion over the prisoners given to you for punishment (minus a few notable exceptions that come up in Spine of The World), but that's it. It's not like an influential political position of respect or anything. It can't be, because they are beholden to laws they can't change, and cultural traditions that are non-negotiable parts of the community.

This guy is referred to multiple times are a carnival barker. And there's loads of magistrates, they all have different reputations and and ymmv on how sadistic they individually are in Luskan. In a later book, when this particular magistrate is brought up again to another magistrate in Luskan, it's clear that the carnival barker thing isn't entirely universal and that he's considered one of the really bad ones, but regardless, they all acknowledge that what he does is legal and "serves a purpose" and they all direct and orchestrate the torture and slaughter of prisoners, and they all admit that many of them are probably innocent. The magistrates, and more importantly, the people in charge of them, maintain the necessity of the system, and the fear it instils to keep troublemakers in line.

One of the more reasonable and intelligent wizards in the series (a guy called Robillard who I can't help but envision as Gale of Waterdeep, because almost everything he does and says makes him sound like Gale of Waterdeep) shocks Drizzt by defending this system of justice very passionately.

Actually, Drizzt's thoughts in general about the Prisoner's Carnival are S-tier Drizzt musings, I love a man who keeps a journal. Likes cats too. Drizzt is lovely.

Drizzt also notes that this is a popular system in human societies specifically. Other races don't go in for it so much, and tend not to participate unless it's as... um... you know... as the prisoners being tortured. I think it's interesting that he mentions that elves in particular (in his experience) are universally disgusted by it. It's also explicitly stated that Baldur's Gate is different, and a much preferrable place to get tried by a magistrate. That isn't in his journal entry though, that's earlier in the novel. A moment of foreshadowing.

The whole world is brutal, but Baldur's Gate is a bit more modern and open to change than other places. That's probably one reason it keeps getting featured and mentioned even though we've barely spent any time there in Drizzt's series so far. It's a bit more relatable a place to actually live in long term than somewhere like Luskan, where you may have to seek out real estate that's far enough away from the square that you're not constantly hearing the death screams of someone being drawn and quartered in front of a cheering crowd. So that's the basics of it, and getting back to Astarion and the backstory that I would personally novelize for him, we have options:

If I'm going to try to fit this into the context that I now have though, it's important to keep in mind that 1) Baldur's Gate is considered one of the "nicer" places to be tried and 2) culturally, elves don't go in for cruelty, especially not as systemic "justice." None of this has to apply to Astarion, but if I'm writing it, I'm not going to ignore this cultural context. At a minimum, I'm going to say that appointing an elf as a magistrate in a city that's known for being more progressively compassionate about their treatment of prisoners was probably pointed on the part of tptb. Baldur's Gate wanted him to set an example for these bloodthirsty humans about mercy and justice and the balance between them. Racism dictates that you don't go to a human for that. They're carnival barkers. If you want a more compassionate magistrate, appoint an elf. And from there, we get to decide whether or not Astarion met their expectations, or if he defied them. Because maybe he was an asshole. Maybe he was just as bad as his human magistrate counterparts. That's not outside the realm of possibility at all, there's an argument to be made that we write him as a counterweight to the stereotype. Astarion is written to be capable of anything, so you can literally go in any direction with his disposition.

But, considering how Cazador rages that he "made" Astarion, and Astarion doesn't even argue with that sentiment. I think it's more likely (and loads sadder) if this unmaking and making included a complete and total overhaul of Astarion entire sense of justice. I actually think the harsh sentiments that Astarion expresses at the tribunal in Ansur's trials are a really good example of the flickers of Cazador and the person he twisted Astarion into, than they would ever be indicative of who he was before getting turned.

That guy's gone, remember?

And if it's not obvious, I'm going in that direction with my fanfic. I'm going to say he actually thought he could help his community. He studied. He got this civil servant position. It was a bit disillusioning. It's better in Baldur's Gate than in other places, but the system itself is cruel, and he's rewarded for being cruel within it. It doesn't even matter that he originally got the job because they hoped he would be a compassionate elf judge amongst bloodthirsty humans, once he's actually in position, it's all about maintaining the status quo. That's what they actually want from him, in spite of their "progressive" leanings.

If anything, he's getting in trouble, and getting noticed by not quite being status quo. A soft-hearted elf, letting his charges get away with all kinds of mischief. I'd write him this way, because I think it then easily follows that Cazador takes note of him and targets him, precisely because he's too merciful. It's annoying.

And, little bit about me, I'm an attorney, and early on, during and right after law school I worked for a few judges.

If Faerûn is anything like the USA I figure that after a few years he has figured out that being a magistrate only gives him a limited amount of discretion and authority over the specific individuals who are brought before him.

It's really legislation that makes a difference and he is specifically forbidden from that. He rules from the bench, and hopes that if he's consistent and fair, and if nothing disastrous results from his rulings, (and if he doesn't get reversed too often, idk if that's a thing in Faerûn but it's a thing in America) then maybe he could eventually influence those who do legislate, but like, that's not his job. And it's going to take a long time because most of it's quite tedious and people don't pay attention unless it's someone they care about standing before him. Nobody cares about the vast majority of these people. His job is to stare at "troublemakers" who have supposedly broken the law, hear witnesses and confessions and denials and lies and decide what the truth is, and decide what's fair.

And it's emotionally heavy work. A lot of people describe being a magistrate as a political position, and that's not incorrect, but there's a valley of difference between Astarion's very hands on job, and what Gortash/Duke Ravenguard do. You are beholden to powerful politicians (like actual politicians) with a lot more influence who figured all this out long before they made the mistake of having ideals or believing in anything, or taking a job in which they would have to a) actually work with people to probable burnout and b) inevitably make a lot of people very angry regardless of what they did.

But, Astarion is still young, he's still got energy, he's not lost himself yet, he thinks he can handle this responsibility and he's wrong.

One day, someone is brought before him. This person is Gur and has supposedly broken the law. Other Gur are upset about the way Astarion ruled. He was way too harsh, or maybe he wasn't.

Quick sidebar: in court, I have watched people literally receive the death sentence and have zero reaction. Same with life w/o parole and other life ruining sentences. In my experience, what triggers an emotional reaction and anger targeted at a judge isn't the severity of the sentence, it's how the severity of the sentence stacks up against their expectations. The defendants (or their families, with proxy outrage) who get really angry, who try to attack the judge, or the ones who are so disruptive that we have to call it and go wait in the hallway while the baliffs calm things down, all have one thing in common: they legitimately thought they were going to just be sent home. They didn't think they were going to be held at all. For that reason, I actually saw a lot more rage from people who had committed minor offenses, because they didn't think what they had done was that big a deal, showed no remorse, ignored their atty, made no effort to express any respect for the law, or any victims, and then when the judge just decides to go with whatever the statute says, in light if zero mitigating factors, the defendant hears "60 days" for the very first time and assumes that the judge just made that up and hates them.

And like, I know it's fiction, and I'm speaking on a very niche experience that most people can't relate to. It's unlikely the writers had anything (let alone realism) in mind at all when they decided to be as vague as possible in the details about a character who embodies "loss" as a concept. I think they were vague because of the theme of loss. I think they were vague because of the theme of loss. I think they were vague because of the theme of loss. I think they were vague because of the theme of loss. I think they were vague because of the theme of loss.

But this sidebar is just to explain why whenever someone says "well he got beat to death for it so his ruling must've been racist and harsh" my knee jerk response is "not necessarily."

And sidebar within the sidebar: if I was going to fully novelize the story, I would actually go in the direction of having the ruling in question be uncommonly fair. I might hint at some racism though—nobody really talks about it below the surface level obvious stuff that's in the game, and part of that is because information about the Gur as a people isn't super accessible. But there is information, and synthesized: racism against the Gur seems pretty standard, especially for an elf who has had it up to here with human bullshit generally. Especially during that time period. He probably didn't have a good opinion of the Gur in life.

But, I have to assume that his animosity towards the Gur that we see in the game was at least affected by the fact that they beat him to death, and then, he spent two centuries as an undead being that they kill on sight with absolutely no justification needed. Like. I don't think it's wild to suggest that. I'm actually very confused by how much people push back on the idea that this could be responsible for his attitude, in part. And that's as far as I have combed through all this so far. Idk how much of it will end up in fic, but it's my personal headcanon now.

I love horror movies. I have watched so many of them it's embarrassing. My letterboxd is embarrassing. I do love several horror movies that feature asshole victims, but as I look at my very favorites, I'm noticing a pattern. I like to feel hurt. I like it when a movie doesn't shy away from dealing out universal, apathetic and disproportionate punishment to everyone. I can't think of anything quite so sad as seeing a perfectly normal, maybe even morally progressive person with their whole life ahead of them, and choosing to unmake them and twist them into a broken puppet in your own image. Sparing/saving no one and nothing in the process. Just make them lose everything, including their entire sense of who they are.

So, I'm going to hurt my own feelings with my Astarion headcanon.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion ancunin #baldur's gate 3 astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion #bg3 fanfiction #legend of drizzt #tw torture #tw horror #tw racsim

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