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study-coffee-chicago · 4 years ago

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Seasons of Med: Season 2 and Seasons of PD: Season 4: Necessities, Love, & Care (A Halstead Brothers + Halstead Sister! Imagine)

Your age: 15

Jay's age: 29

Will's age: 31

You were currently sitting at the library, trying to figure out how you'd get food for dinner. It was January and you had run out of your Christmas money two weeks ago and you had burned through your money from helping with kettle corn at the beginning of December. Right now you were SOL: Shit outta luck.

Your mind wandered back to the last day you had helped working the kettle corn stand when it was a dreary late October day.

"We have kettle corn, caramel corn, cheddar, Chicago style, and a few other flavors," you explained to a customer. She picked up a medium bag of caramel corn. "That one?"

"Yes, dear. Me and my husband love this stuff," the old lady said.

"I'm sure. It's really good! It'll be six dollars." She pulled out a five and two ones. "I'll be right back with your change."

"Oh, no, keep the change, dear. Thank you for the popcorn."

"You're welcome. Have a nice day."

"Y/N," Emma said to you. "Can you grab me a lemonade from the cooler?"

"Just one?"

"Yup, just one."

You grabbed it from the cooler and were about to pass it to her when you saw who her customers were: Jay and Erin.

"Y/N?" Jay asked. "What are you doing here?"

"Working," you answered quickly. "Little bit of extra money never hurt anybody. The real question is, what are you doing here? I know Erin hates being outside when the weather is crappy."

"It's because he's annoying when he whines and begs to do something, so I figured it was just best to give in," Erin answered.

Jay rolled his eyes. "God, I can't win with either of you. Why do you always gang up on me?"

"Because, Halstead, us girls gotta stick together," Erin laughed.

"Okay, okay, fine. Y/N, what popcorn should I get?"

"First of all, it's kettle corn," you corrected. "And, I suggest the cheddar. Or, if you want a combination of both salty and sweet, then get the Chicago style. It's cheddar and caramel."

"Me and Erin like sweet, but I know you. You like cheddar. And you'll pick out the cheddar pieces when you're at my apartment, so I'll get the Chicago style."

"Or," Erin started as she picked up a large bag of caramel and a large bag of cheddar, "We could get this big bag of caramel, and then you could have this bag at your apartment for Y/N. That way the flavors aren't touching."

"Erin Lindsay and not liking her food touching. Fine, we'll take what Erin suggested and one lemonade."

"One or two straw holes?" Emma asked, picking up the lid-punching tool.

"One's fine," Jay answered.

"They swap enough spit as it is," you whispered to Emma, causing her to laugh.

"What'd she say?" Jay asked.

"I can't tell you. It's a secret."

He huffed. "Fine. Keeping secrets from your big brother? That's cold Y/N, that's cold."

"So you're saying you never kept secrets from Will?" Erin asked.

"I have the right to remain silent."

"Exactly," Erin said. "How much does he owe you?"

"Excuse me? I didn't know I'd be the one paying for all of this."

"You were the one who dragged me outside, so yes, you are paying, Halstead. Now, get your card ready."

Jay rolled his eyes and pulled out his wallet. "How much?"

You did the math in your head. "$23."

"Emma, can you check her math?" Jay asked and you rolled your eyes in his lack of faith in you.

"$10 for the cheddar and $8 for the caramel makes $18...plus $5 for the lemonade...yup $23."

You handed him the card reader. "And now it's just going to ask you a few questions," you told him after his card went through.

Without allowing him to read it all the way through, Erin hit the tip and no receipt buttons. "Hey!" Jay exclaimed.

"Don't blame me! You were the one who wanted me to come out here!" She turned to you and took the bag of kettle corn as Jay picked up the 32 oz lemonade. "Thanks, Y/N!"

"No problem! Just make sure he doesn't buy any more paintings of motorcycles!"

Man, how you wished you could work that job right now because it was only for a few hours on the weekends. But, it was winter now, so there were no street fairs, farmers markets, or festivals going on. Because of this, your money had run out. You'd have to do what you'd have to get yourself some food, even if it would leave you with a guilty conscience.

With that in mind, you got up and left the library.

***

"Pop's been complaining of chest pain and refuses to go to the hospital," Jay told his older brother as he walked through the front door and into the living room.

"Of course he did," Will grumbled. Then, he turned to his father. "This won't take long. Unless it's bad. Then you'll have to come with me and actually go to the hospital this time."

"You can't force me to do anything," he argued as he watched his oldest son open up his medical bag.

"Just let him do his job. He knows what he's doing," Jay agreed with Will. Then, he remembered something. "Where's Y/N?"

"At school."

"At school? At 5 pm?" Jay asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sometimes she stays after school and does homework. She's always home before it gets too late so I don't ask."

It's not like Jay and Will could have known this, though. Yes, you would talk and they're obviously there for you because they're your brothers, but your dad's parenting skills--or lack thereof--hadn't ever come up. You'd get together with your brothers once a week, but it was usually at one of your brothers' places. They rarely came inside your and your dad's place.

"All units, we have reports of a robbery at 3020 East Main Street. Assistance requested," Jay's radio stated.

Jay looked to Will, silently asking if it was okay for him to take it. "I've got it from here."

"Thanks, man," Jay said, clapping Will on the back and leaving the house.

He drove to the small corner market that had made the call. It was only a block away from where you and your dad lived, but despite it usually being somewhat slow, today it was even slower. There was only one car parked in the lot, so Jay was confused as to who would even rob this place.

He put on his vest and walked into the store. "Got a call about a robbery," he said to the store manager as he entered.

"Yes, right over here."

He led Jay over to where a girl was sitting on a stool, tears rolling down her face. She held a box of pasta, a loaf of bread, and a small jar of peanut butter. Her coat was unzipped, revealing the tampons and pads she had stuffed inside her coat after she had ripped open the box.

"Y/N?" Jay asked in disbelief. "What are you doing? What were you even thinking?"

"I- I'm sorry," you sniffled.

Then he turned to the store manager. "You called the cops on a fifteen-year-old girl for grabbing what looks to me like necessities?"

"I've let her go the past two times when she needed things, but today she didn't have the money, so I couldn't let it slide."

Jay threw $30 in the man's hand. "There. Now it's all paid for." He turned to you and took the loaf of bread. "C'mon."

You followed him out of the store, waiting to be yelled at as you entered his truck, but it didn't come. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he handed you the bread. "Why? Why did you do this?"

"There- There's barely any food in the house. I was just hungry."

Jay looked you up and down. He hadn't been really looking for changes in weight like he told Natalie he would do six months ago. He kept it up for a few months and then winter came around and it was hard to tell because of bulky jackets and sweaters. But, now that he actually looked at your face and hands in an investigative manner, it was clear as day: You had lost even more weight.

"And the other stuff?" he asked.

"Dad won't buy them for me. Says that they're too expensive and to just use something else. He said that if he had had a son he wouldn't have to worry about it, like it's my fault. Usually, I take some from school, but I ran out and I needed them."

"And the food?" Jay asked as he started driving back to his childhood home.

"I get breakfast and lunch at school, but I have to eat dinner at home. And on weekends I just skip meals and eat breakfast and dinner."

"What? What about Dad?"

"He gets takeout or he goes to the bar and isn't home until late."

Jay sighed as he pulled into the driveway. "Go pack a bag, kid. You're staying at my place until further notice."

"Really? I thought you guys forgot about me?"

"We could never forget about you. It's just, work has been busy for both of us. So, sorry if these last few times we've all been together for dinner have seemed a little rushed. Now, go inside and grab your stuff while I have a chat with Will and Dad."

"Dad, Will," Jay said after you had run upstairs and they were sitting on the couch. "I need to talk to you. In the kitchen."

"Really, Jay. Why can't it be here?" your dad grumbled. "First he--" He pointed to Will. "Wants to take me to the hospital because he said I have a valve issue and now I can't even have a conversation with my sons while sitting down?"

"Just get up, dammit!"

The three entered the kitchen and sat down, but Jay stayed standing. "Jay, what's going on?" Will asked.

Instead of answering his older brother, Jay just opened the fridge. There was a half drank gallon of milk, a jar of grape jelly, and a can of pasta sauce, along with other condiments, and a lone egg sat on a shelf. "This? This is what you expect your daughter to eat? I caught her stealing from a store just so she could get food and tampons!"

"Well, I'm not gonna pay for it."

"Excuse you?" Will exclaimed, eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean you're not paying for it? She's your daughter, isn't she? Then you have a legal responsibility to feed her, make sure she has shelter, clothes, and goes to school!"

"She can go get a job."

"She is fucking fifteen!" Jay yelled. "She doesn't need to be worrying about where her next meal is coming from! She's supposed to be worrying about getting a good grade on a math test or if that boy likes her or not, but not that!"

"She needs to learn to grow up someday. And she won't if you boys baby her like you always do whenever you see her."

"Baby her?" Will yelled, disgusted. "She's a kid. She needs to be babied sometimes. She needs fucking food and a nice home to come home to, not whatever the hell you think this is."

"It hasn't been a home since your mother died."

"Yeah, we gathered that," Jay scoffed. "But you don't have to take it out on her."

"Jay," your small voice said from the doorway into the kitchen. All three men looked over to you, your backpack on your back, a duffle bag slung over your shoulder, and your favorite blanket wadded up in your hands so that you could carry it without it dragging on the ground.

"Ready to go?" Jay asked, his voice immediately softening.

"Uh, yeah," you answered, unsure of how your dad would react.

"What do you mean ready to go?" Pat Halstead asked, standing up from where he had been previously sitting at the table. "She's not going anywhere!"

Will rushed over to you, placing a hand on your shoulder while Jay stalked over to be face to face with your dad. "She is coming with me until further notice. You're lucky I don't arrest your ass for child neglect!"

"You wouldn't do that to your own father!"

Jay pulled the cuffs out of his back pocket. "Oh yeah? Try me."

He sat back down and Jay turned to you. "Here, let me take that." You handed him your duffle bag and followed him and Will outside.

"Jay, I gotta go. I gotta get Dad to Med to get the valve fixed. And, I said one hour out of the hospital tops and it's been two."

Jay closed the truck door once you were safely inside with all your stuff. "Good luck trying to get Dad to go the hospital," he scoffed. "Get going. Don't give Goodwin another reason to fire your stupid ass."

"I'll call an ambulance if I have to." Then, Will smacked Jay upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"You know what it was for. And, I'm your older brother, it's my job."

"I'm your older brother, it's my job," Jay mocked. "But, in all seriousness, do me a favor and make sure Y/N's all caught up on her immune- immune--"

"Immunizations?" Will laughed.

"Yeah, those."

"I'll do that. And if she's not, I'll give them to her tonight when I come over to your place after my shift is done...which will be in like two hours...depending on how much of a pain in the ass he is to get in the hospital."

Jay nodded, and then got in the truck, both of you making your way to his place.

"I'm gonna go take a shower," Jay said after you had put your stuff down by the couch. "You have homework?"

"Yeah," you looked down, not wanting to even try and struggle through your homework...or have Jay sign the slip that said that you failed your last test.

Jay smiled. "I'll help you with it when I'm out of the shower, okay, kid?"

"How'd you know--"

"That is the universal facial expression of I need help, but I don't know how to ask for it. I'll be ten minutes tops."

And so, you tried to struggle through your homework for ten minutes. But, you ended up working and reworking the stupid algebra problem. Why did math need letters anyway?

"Okay, I'm back," Jay said as he pulled a chair out to sit next to you. "What are you workin' on?"

"Can you sign this first?" you asked, sliding the yellow paper over to him along with the pen. You hoped he'd just sign it blind, but as you saw his eyes skimming the page, you knew that wouldn't happen.

"Did you try your best?" he asked as he slid the piece of paper back to you after signing it.

"What? Yeah, of course, I did."

"Okay, then we'll figure something out. Now, how about we eat some dinner? I've got pizza in the freezer. That okay?"

"That's great," you answered.

Jay got the pizza in the oven while you went and changed into your pajamas. You decided it was in your best interest to have Will help you with your math homework.

***

"Ah! The man of the hour!" Jay exclaimed as he pulled out the pizza and Will entered the house.

You immediately noticed the red bag he was carrying over his shoulder and the two king-sized Twix bars.

"Why do you have your medical bag?" you asked.

"How did you know this was my medical bag?"

"I'm not stupid, Will."

"Okay, so you're all caught up on your shots, but I need to do a blood draw because I need to see if you're deficient in any vitamins and minerals. Have you been eating enough fruits and veggies?" he asked.

"Probably not as much as I should," you admitted. "They're too expensive unless I get the canned kind and I don't like those unless it's canned peaches. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Short Stack. None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. I just need to take the blood and then get it sent to the lab to see if you need to get any specific pills to get your vitamin and mineral levels up."

"Okay. Does it hurt?" you asked. You knew what a shot felt like, but you'd never had your blood drawn before, so you didn't know what it felt like to have a needle in your arm for a long time, taking blood. You knew what it felt like to have an IV in from when you passed out at the movie theater, but you didn't know if this needle would be the same size or bigger.

"You just feel a slight pinch at the beginning."

"Like getting a shot?"

"Like getting a shot," he confirmed.

"Hey, I was thinking," Jay started as he reappeared from the kitchen area, "what if we have celery and carrots with ranch for dinner, too? You know, like when we eat chicken wings at restaurants and they bring you some veggies, except we'll have ours with pizza."

"Okay," you agreed. "I like ranch."

"So does everyone in the midwest," Will joked.

"What's the medical bag for?" Jay asked. "She needs shots? And, what's with the Twix bars?"

"No, I'm drawing her blood to see if she's deficient in anything. And, there's one Twix bar for her and one for you because we all know how you feel about needles, Jay."

Jay rolled his eyes. "We doing this before we eat?"

"Yes. And, I need you to answer some questions for me, Y/N. These are strictly doctor protocol questions, okay? You don't need to be embarrassed about any of the answers."

You nodded.

"Okay," Will started, "When did you last eat? Just need to write it down for fasting glucose levels."

"Um, lunch at school, so around noon."

"So, six-hour fast," Will scribbled down on a piece of paper. "Next one, are you sexually active?"

"Will!"

"It's just standard protocol, just in case I need to test for STDs."

"No, I am not. Next question."

"Okay, last one: When was your last period?"

"You've got to be kidding me. I'm not pregnant, I haven't had sex!"

Will chuckled. "It's not for that. Sometimes when people are deficient in vitamins and minerals, they can lose their period for months at a time, signaling that their body isn't healthy. The medical term is amenorrhea." But, what he wanted to say was that when girls are underweight, this can also happen. And, from seeing how baggy your sweatshirt and jeans were on you, he assumed that you'd lost ten pounds since last going to the doctor when you passed out in the movie theater parking lot, making your weight loss a grand total of 25 pounds, which would qualify you as being underweight.

"Oh. I started today."

"Okay, good to know. Any changes in length or heaviness of menstruation?"

"I swear, I'd rather have Natalie or April be asking me these questions," you grumbled. "But, yes, it's a lot lighter and it went from me having my periods for five days to two days. Can we please stop talking about this now?"

"Yeah, we're all done. Sorry about that, but it's protocol."

"Says the guy who's drawing my blood at Jay's apartment instead of in a hospital, where it should be done."

"Hey, I've worked in much worse conditions than this in Sudan. How much water did you drink today?"

"A lot."

"Okay, good." Will started to unzip his medical bag. He passed a Twix bar to Jay. "Here, eat this and focus on it so you don't focus on the needles and then freak out."

Jay rolled his eyes, but took the candy bar and unwrapped it.

"Do I get one?" you asked.

"Once I draw your blood, yes, the other one is for you. Now, right or left arm?"

You held out your left arm and Will moved to the other side of you so he had a better angle. He sanitized his hands and then snapped on a pair of gloves.

"So, what do you do?" you asked. "I've never had my blood drawn before."

"I just tie off your arm so that I can get the veins to show a bit better, wipe down the spot with an antiseptic wipe, stick the needle in, and then wait for the vial to fill up."

"That's it?"

"That's it. Can you make a fist with your left hand for me?"

You did as Will told you and then he tied a band around your bicep and started touching the inside of your elbow, trying to get some veins to show. He furrowed his eyebrows and moved down your arm, rubbing your forearm and then going back up to the crook of your elbow and gently pressing there.

"What's wrong?" you asked.

"You just have really small veins is all. I could take the blood from the big vein in your forearm, but I don't really want to do that one since it's so big. Can you squeeze your fist tighter for me?" You did as he said while he kept pressing on the crook of your elbow. "There we go. Got one. Now, turn and look at Jay while I get the needle ready."

You looked at Jay and tried not to laugh. "You okay?"

"Me? I should be asking you that," he replied. "You're the one who's about to get stabbed with a needle."

"It's just that you got some sweat on your forehead. You look nervous."

"They're needles. They're tiny little sharp metal objects and if one breaks off--"

"Jay, respectfully," Will started, cutting off his brother, "shut the hell up, so you don't scare my patient. You might just want to look away instead of watching me. Then you might feel fine." Then, he turned back to you. "Okay, Y/N, keep looking at Jay. Close your eyes if you want to. You're going to feel a small pinch."

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Then, you squeezed your eyes shut tightly and grit your teeth, trying not to yell out as the needle pierced your skin.

"Hard part's done," Will said. You nodded, still keeping your eyes closed.

"That was not a small pinch," you retorted about a minute later.

"Sorry."

You opened your eyes and watched as the blood flowed from your vein into the small tube that was hooked up to the needle.

"I thought you hated blood," Jay pointed out. "And here you are, watching the entire process."

"I'm fine when it's my blood if it's not a huge, deep cut," you explained. "It's other people's blood I don't like."

"Well, that takes any job in the medical field off your career choices," Will said.

You sat there for a few more minutes, waiting for the vial to fill up. Will pressed on your arm, close to the needle, to see if more would come out. "This vein is really small," he said.

You watched as the blood coming into the tube started becoming slower and slower, in what looked to be bubbles.

"Just a little more," Will muttered.

You started taking deeper breaths as you felt sweat start to bead on your forehead.

"Okay, let's see how much this gave me." He pressed his thumb above where the needle was and you turned back to Jay as he removed the needle.

Then, he got the blood into the vial. "Bad news," he started, "I might need to take more. Let's see how much extra there is." He put the extra into another, smaller vial. "Yeah, this one clotted too, so bad news, we need more."

You nodded and closed your eyes, feeling your face get hot and starting to feel lightheaded. You pinched the bridge of your nose, willing this uncomfortable feeling to go away.

"You doing okay?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you answered.

"Okay, I'm gonna do your right arm this time." You held your right arm out to him. "Make a fist for me." You did as he told you and he tied the blue band around your bicep.

But, you were getting even dizzier. "Actually, can I get some water? I feel dizzy."

"Course," Will said. "Jay, can you get her some water and juice if you have any?"

"Apple juice good?"

"That's fine," you answered.

Will untied the band from your bicep. "We're just going to wait a few minutes until you feel less dizzy before I take more blood, okay?"

You nodded and took the water from Jay when he came back.

"Let's have the juice after I finish," Will suggested after a few minutes had passed and you finished the water. "Feeling better, Short Stack?"

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Your forehead was still a bit sweaty, but you were a lot less dizzy.

Will repeated the same process as the last arm and it went a lot faster. Turns out he picked a bit bigger vein in the crook of your elbow of this arm than he did the other one.

"And, we're done," Will said as he capped the vial.

He handed you the juice. "Thanks," you said. "That was not fun."

"I bet. At least you didn't pass out. I've had a few patients do that when I went through my clinicals. That's why normally when someone gets their blood drawn, they sit in this chair where something is flipped down in front of them so they don't fall out of the chair just in case they pass out."

"Jay, do you pass out?" you asked.

He scoffed. "No. I don't even get dizzy. My body doesn't react like that."

"He just breaks out into a sweat whenever he sees needles," Will whispered, loud enough for Jay to hear.

"Hey! I heard that! Take one more jab at me and you won't be getting any pizza, Will. I mean it!"

Will held his hands up in a mock surrender while you finished up your juice. Then, Will started to pack up his medical stuff and Jay brought the pizza and veggies and ranch out, along with plates of course.

You ate your pizza while Will helped you with your math homework. Once you finished two slices of pizza and some celery and ranch, you said that you were done.

"You sure?" Jay asked. "You can have as much as you want."

"I'm good. Gotta save some for tomorrow." Your eyes widened as you realized what you had just said. "I'm gonna go take a shower. It's been a long day."

"Okay, clean towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom where they always are," Jay said, trying not to react to what you had just said even though he knew exactly what you were doing.

You were rationing food.

"Fuck," Jay said as he put his head in his hands when he knew you were in the bathroom and out of earshot.

"What? What did she mean by gotta save some for tomorrow?" Will asked.

"She's rationing it. I used to do it in Afghanistan. Save some of my MRE and put it in my pack to eat the next day if I was on a long trek and we knew we wouldn't get back to base. It would be cold and usually disgusting, but I'd choke it down because it was calories and I needed fuel to be sharp in case we came in contact with combatants."

"Poor kid. At least we had Mom."

Jay nodded. "What happened with Dad at the hospital?"

"Had to have a mitral valve replacement because his wasn't working properly. Told him over and over to get his checked regularly, but he didn't because he's stubborn. He went for the non-surgical option first, but then there were complications, so Rhodes performed surgery. He's fine."

"That's good... I guess." Jay glanced around and he saw your duffle bag sitting outside the bathroom door. You had grabbed your clothes to bring them into the bathroom and left your open duffle bag by the door.

Jay stood up and started walking towards it.

"What are you doing?" Will hissed.

"I need to see if she's got anything else in there that will help prove neglect. I'm assuming it needs to be proved...I only know criminal court cases, don't know much about family court cases."

"What do you mean family court? You're going to fight Dad to be able to take care of her?"

"Yeah, I'll fight to be her legal guardian. Unless you want to do it. My loan went through for a new apartment, which has two bedrooms, so I figured I might be better suited."

"Go ahead. You'd probably have a better chance anyway because you were around more when I was in New York."

Jay nodded and started to dig around your duffle bag. He chuckled and pulled out your Build-A-Bear. "She still sleeps with Beary," he said as he held up the stuffed bear. "Probably doesn't change his clothes anymore because she's too old for that, but he's in pajamas."

"Remember that military uniform you got for her bear? Mom said she barely took Beary out of that because she missed you so much."

"Yeah, and if she wouldn't have dropped him at the airport, I might not have met Mouse."

The two fell into a comfortable silence as he continued to dig through your bag. He got to a big zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric that were stained light reds and browns.

"Will, c'mere," Jay said, waving him over. Will squatted down next to Jay. "You know what this is?"

Will sighed. "Unfortunately, yes. I saw a lot of this when I worked in Sudan."

"Well, what is it?"

"So, when girls don't have access or money to buy feminine hygiene products, they'll use scraps of fabric and wash them. Looks to me like she cut up some, um, she cut up some underwear and then used them as make-shift pads. If they aren't taken care of properly, she could end up with an infection. And, if she tried to use them as tampons instead of pads, it could lead to TSS, which stands for Toxic Shock Syndrome."

"We're gonna have to talk to her about this now, aren't we?"

"Unfortunately, yeah. She's not gonna be happy you dug through her stuff, so I'll let you explain why you were going through it. And, if she used them as tampons, I want her to get a pelvic exam, just to make sure she didn't get any infections. Much more likely to get an infection from tampons than pads."

Jay nodded. He hated having the current conversation and knew he was going to hate the next one even more, but he knew he had to do these things if he wanted to petition the court for legal guardianship.

Jay picked up your duffle bag and brought it to the living room and he set the zip-lock bag full of pieces of fabric on top.

"I can't believe we missed this," Will said. "I mean, we're both trained in how to spot abuse and we couldn't even spot it in our little sister."

"There weren't outright signs," Jay said. "No bruising, limping, cuts, burns, nothing like that. And, it's winter, it's easy to hide the weight loss. But, I still agree with you. If we would've spotted it earlier, we could've gotten her out of there."

"I'm pretty sure she's officially underweight now."

Jay ran a hand through his hair and then stood back up. "I'm gonna go put clean sheets on my bed. I'll let Y/N take it tonight so that we can keep talking out here when she goes to sleep."

"Good idea."

A few minutes later, Jay was back on the couch next to Will and you walked out of the bathroom, wearing a baggy t-shirt and some sweatpants that you had to keep pulling up because they were too big on you now, and a pair of fuzzy socks. You were cold all the time now and wanted your hoodie out of your duffle and wanted to put your dirty clothes in there, but when you looked down to the spot where you thought you had put it, it wasn't there.

"Guys?" you asked. "Have you seen my bag?"

You walked over to the kitchen table where your blanket was sitting on the chairs and wrapped that around yourself instead.

You furrowed your eyebrows as you saw your brothers on the couch, your duffle bag in front of them on the floor, and on top, your bag of ripped-up, old underwear that you used as pads when you didn't have any.

"You went through my stuff?" you asked, starting to become angry.

"Y/N," Jay started, "I know you're mad and it was me who went through it and not Will, so don't be mad at him, be mad at me. But, I went through it to see if anything was in there that could help me get you out of dad's house. Permanently."

"You- You want to have custody of me?" you asked.

A small smile appeared on Jay's lips and he nodded. "It wouldn't be considered custody because I'm not your biological parent, it would be considered guardianship, but yes, I want you to stay with me. And, my loan went through for a new apartment, so you'd have your own room and everything."

"Okay."

Jay looked at Will, not wanting to be the one to start this conversation. And, he figured Will would be the best one to start it because he was a doctor.

"Y/N, we need to ask you about these." Will motioned to the zip-lock bag on top of your stuff.

You sat in the loveseat across from them and looked down at your feet.

"It's okay, you're not in trouble," Will continued. "We just want to know how you used them in case you need to get a pelvic exam to check for infections in that area."

Your lip began to tremble as tears started to roll down your cheeks. "I used them as pads," you said quietly. "Dad wouldn't buy me any and I stopped getting them from school because I thought they'd suspect something was wrong if I- if I kept taking them."

"One more question," Will said softly. "I just need to know in case we need to take you in for this. I know you said you used them as pads, but did you ever try and use them as tampons?"

"No. I only used them as pads," you whispered. "I was scared to use them as tampons." You looked up at your brothers, who both had tears in their eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," you rushed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner I was just--" You let out a wail and Jay got up and knelt in front of you.

"Hey, hey, none of this is your fault. Do you hear me? Absolutely none of this is on you. It's all on Dad. Every single bit of it. You are not the one to blame."

You launched yourself into his arms, crying out every emotion you had felt these past few months: anger, frustration, fear, sadness, it was all coming out now.

And, Jay just held you and let you cry it out because that was what your guys' mom used to do for him. And, he knew it worked.

Twenty minutes later, your wails were just quiet whimpers and you pushed yourself back up onto the loveseat, where Will had moved to the spot next to you. He wrapped an arm around you and you leaned into him, craving the comfort that had been denied to you for so long.

"You still have that Twix bar?" you asked.

"All that crying made you hungry, didn't it, Short Stack?" Will asked as Jay got up to retrieve the candy bar from the table.

You nodded.

"Thank you," you said when Jay handed you the Twix bar. You unwrapped it and broke it into the two sticks. "You guys want any?" They both shook their heads: they knew you needed to get as many calories in you as possible.

Jay sighed, he might as well get this hard conversation over with you tonight as well. "Y/N, you can eat as much as you want. I won't say anything about you eating too much, okay?"

You looked up from your candy bar. "You won't call me a burden because I'm eating your food? Like Dad did?"

"He said that?" Will asked, giving Jay a look that read when I see him next, I can't be held accountable for my actions.

"Yeah. One time there were some leftovers he had gotten from a bar and I was so hungry and it was the middle of the night, so I took them out and heated them up. The microwave timer must've woken him up because he came out just as I was about to start eating and then he yelled at me for eating his food and called me a burden."

"Well, we don't think that. Neither Will nor me think that," Jay told you. "And you can eat as much as you want."

You yawned as you crumpled up your Twix wrapper.

"Tired?" Will asked.

"Yeah," you mumbled.

"It's been a long day," Jay said. "You can take my bed."

"Jay, it's your apartment, I can't--"

"Y/N, this isn't up for discussion. I already put clean sheets on the bed for you."

"Is- Is there a fan in your room? I can't sleep without white noise."

"There is. You want me and Will to tuck you in?"

"I'm too old for that." You stood up and Will did, too. "Jay, can you hand me Beary? He should be in my duffle."

"Here you go, kid."

You took your bear and held him loosely in your arm. Then, you enveloped Jay in a hug and did the same for Will.

"I love you guys."

"We love you, too," Will said.

"Now get to sleep. You've still got school in the morning. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Dad sometimes wouldn't be home when I woke up for school. He'd be at a friend's house sleeping off a hangover from the night before or just sleeping."

Jay furrowed his eyebrows. "Doesn't he have to work?"

"He does work, but only a few days a week. The other days, he stays out really late and then comes home either drunk or hungover."

"I see," Jay stated. "Well I won't be doing that, I can promise you that."

"I know. You aren't like Dad. Neither of you are." You yawned again. "I'm going to bed, goodnight."

A few minutes later, you were out like a light and Will was still at Jay's apartment.

"So, Abby called me the other day," Will started. "She's looking for you. Says she's in town for a few days and wants to meet up."

"Oh yeah? She say why?" Jay asked, wondering why his ex-wife--who was the result of a blackout drunk wedding in Vegas, a thing that lasted only 24 hours tops--was in Chicago and was looking for him of all people.

"She said you two are still married."

Jay threw his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. "You have got to be fucking kidding me."

***

"Morning," Jay said as he stood at the stove flipping some eggs. "Sleep good?"

"I slept really good. Didn't even hear you wake up."

"Fan did the trick then?"

You nodded and grabbed a mug from the cupboard and went to start pouring yourself a cup of coffee.

"Nuh-uh," Jay chirped, putting his hand on the handle of the coffee pot as well.

"Why not? I drank it at Dad's."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "You drank coffee at Dad's?"

"Yeah, on the weekends sometimes that would be my breakfast because it curbs my appetite and there wasn't a lot to eat."

Jay sighed. "Well, you'll have enough to eat here, I can promise you that. And, coffee stunts your growth."

"Jay," you groaned. "I haven't grown since sixth grade."

"Okay, well, then you don't want to become dependent on it at such an early age, then. Come talk to me when you're a legal adult or in college."

"Fine." You let go of the coffee pot and put the mug back in the cupboard.

"You can have juice though." The toast in the toaster popped up and Jay placed the toast on a plate and then put a slice of cheese on each piece and then an egg on top. He also put a small bowl of strawberries next to it. "I'm gonna go get dressed while you eat. And then, once you're ready, I'll take you to school."

"Okay, thanks, Jay."

"You're welcome, kiddo."

You rolled your eyes at the nickname and then went to the fridge to get the apple juice. When you opened the fridge, you saw a brown paper bag with your name on it. Curiosity got the best of you, so you took it out and looked at the contents while you ate your breakfast.

Inside was a ham and Colby jack cheese sandwich with lettuce, pickles, mustard, and mayonnaise, an apple, a coconut-flavored Greek yogurt, celery with peanut butter, and a chocolate chip granola bar. There were also two dollars at the bottom of the bag paperclipped together with a sticky note stuck to the top.

For chocolate milk. ~Jay was what the note read.

Tears sprung to your eyes as you continued to eat your breakfast. You don't remember the last time you brought a lunch to school; you'd always get your lunch for free at school. When you got the paper from school about the free/reduced lunch because teachers noticed you didn't have much to eat, you waited until your dad was hungover and it was early in the morning, and handed him a pen and he signed the paper blindly. And, that's how you got lunch and breakfast at school without any cost to you or your dad.

"Hey, I can just brush my teeth at the kitchen sink if you want the bathroom--" He cut himself off when he saw the tears in your eyes. "What's wrong?"

"You- You made me lunch?" you asked as you turned to face him.

He smiled. "Of course I did. I know how bad cafeteria food can be. And, if it tastes good, it's usually not very good for you."

"Thank you," you said as you wiped a tear away that had rolled down your cheek.

"Aww, hey, don't cry, don't cry. It's okay. You're safe now. You don't need to worry about where your next meal will come from. And, I'm going to petition a judge for legal guardianship in a few days. I just have to have a few conversations with some lawyers."

"Does this mean you have to move? I don't want to kick you out of your apartment."

Jay dismissed that with a wave. "I already put in a loan application for a new apartment. Two bedrooms. Really nice."

"Can you tell me about it? While I finish eating my strawberries."

Jay nodded and sat down in the chair across from you. "It's a two-bedroom, washer, dryer. But, I know you don't care about those things. There's underground parking. It's got a gym, a whole club level, with like a coffee lounge, and all this other stuff."

"That sounds really nice."

"Yeah, it is a pretty nice building. Coffee lounge would be perfect for you to get your homework done if you don't feel like staying in the apartment."

"I thought you said I couldn't drink coffee?" you asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I meant the caffeine in the coffee. Decaf coffee and lattes and tea lattes, that's a different story. I'm sure they have pastries there, too."

"Never pegged you for a coffee snob," you joked.

"You learn a lot about coffee and about a person when you have to get your entire unit coffee. I'll let you in on a little secret: Ruzek's coffee order is the most complicated."

"Really?"

"Really. Now, go finish getting ready. Don't want you being late for school."

***

"Hey, Er, can you meet me at the diner we usually go to?" Jay asked his girlfriend over the phone after he had dropped you off at school.

"Yeah, no problem. Give me fifteen minutes. We haven't caught a case yet, but we should keep our radios on just in case. Everything okay?"

"It's a long story. I'll explain everything in person, okay?"

"Okay," Erin answered skeptically. "I'll see you in a few."

Fifteen minutes later on the dot, Erin walked into the little diner and spotted Jay sitting in the corner booth.

"Alright, what's going on?" she asked after she had ordered her food and some coffee. "You sounded really stressed on the phone."

Jay sighed. "I'm going to fight for legal guardianship of Y/N."

"What? Why? What happened?" Erin asked as she widened her eyes.

"Our dad, he uh, he hasn't really been the greatest. Not keeping food in the house, calling her a burden when she tries to eat some of his food, not buying her products for you know...girl stuff. She's probably lost like 25 pounds since the end of last school year. And, I know that doesn't sound like a lot with the amount of time that's passed, but she's underweight. Will drew some of her blood last night to see if she's deficient in some vitamins or minerals."

"My God."

"Yeah, so, I know we were going to move into your place together, but I need another bedroom and my loan went through at that place I told you about, so I'm going to put an offer in there. You could always move in with me if you want, but I don't know if it would be a good idea for that to happen right away. I just want to get Y/N healthy again. I'm sorry."

"Jay, I get it. She's family. Do you know how you're going to go about this? Did you talk to Voight about taking any time off to sort this out?"

"Not yet. But, I think I'm going to call Antonio and see if he can help me out with getting a meeting with ASA Stone. I know he works criminal cases, but he's gotta know some stuff about family court cases. So, I figured he might be able to help me with this whole process."

"Good idea. If you need any help, just say the word and I'll be there."

Jay smiled. "Thanks, Er." He didn't want to have the conversation he was about to have, but he knew he had to tell her. "There's uh, there's one more thing I need to tell you."

"Okay, what is it?"

"About eight years ago, I was married."

"Excuse me, what? You were married and you didn't tell me?"

Jay knew this was a bad idea...which was why he hadn't wanted to tell Erin, but now that he wasn't officially divorced for whatever reason, he knew needed to tell her. "Just let me explain."

"Yes, please do," Erin sneered.

"Her name's Abby. She ran Cultural Support during my last tour in Kandahar. About a year after I came home, I saw her at a funeral in Vegas. Was... was a guy in our unit, he had redeployed, and, um, he didn't... Um, I was, like, blacking out most nights, and we were both pretty shook up. And, um, we got married." He chuckled at the thought of his twenty-one-year-old self thinking that marriage was a good idea. "It was, like, a 24-hour thing, it was a total joke, and it is long over."

Erin just stared at him, as he waited to be chewed out by her. "Jay, you married this girl. And you never told me, and you were never gonna tell me," was all she said.

"I know. And, I'm sorry. But, I'm meeting up with her in a few days to sign the documents that I thought I'd signed because she's getting married and we need to make the divorce official...even though, in my mind, it's been official for eight years.

"Er, please don't hate me, but with everything going on, with me trying to get guardianship of Y/N and me finding out that I'm somehow still married--"

"You want us to take a break?" Erin asked, finishing his sentence for him.

Jay nodded. "I'm sorry. I just don't think I can juggle a relationship with all this other stuff. And, it's not fair to you."

Erin swallowed. "Well, just tell me if you need any help with Y/N. I'll always be there for you. Relationship or partnership, I'll always have your six."

"And I'll always have yours."

Erin's phone buzzed on the table and she picked it up. "It's Voight. We caught a case."

Jay laid some bills on the table. "Then let's go."

***

"Got the results of Y/N's bloodwork back," Will told Jay over the phone while he had a quick break for lunch...even though it was four o'clock in the afternoon. But, that's the thing about the medical field: breaks are never regular.

"And? Any deficiencies?" Jay asked, walking into his bedroom as you were at the table doing homework and he didn't want to distract you.

"Yes, two actually. Iron and riboflavin. The low iron explains why her periods have become shorter and lighter, but that can also be attributed to how small she is now."

"How do we go about this then?"

"I'll send you a list of foods that have levels high iron and riboflavin. Oh, riboflavin's found in vitamin B by the way."

"Okay, care to tell me what iron and riboflavin do? I know iron helps with hemoglobin and red blood cells, but I have no idea what riboflavin does."

"You're right about iron. I'm shocked. Or, what do the kids say these days? I'm shook."

"I swear to God, please never use that phrase again. And, I know what iron does because I paid attention in high school nutrition class, thank you very much."

"If I remember correctly, I helped you with most of the homework in that class."

"Whatever, you helped me. Now, tell me about riboflavin."

"So, riboflavin just helps convert food into energy and is needed for healthy skin, hair, blood, and a healthy brain." Jay could hear a beeping in the background on Will's end. "Gotta go. I'll send you that list of foods right now, though."

"Thanks, man."

You looked up as Jay came back into the kitchen. "Everything okay?" you asked.

Jay pulled out a chair and sat across from you. "So, I just got off the phone with Will. He got the results from your bloodwork back."

"Is it bad? Am I dying?" You set your pencil down, bracing yourself for bad news.

"No," Jay chuckled, "you're not dying. You just don't have enough iron and riboflavin, which is a specific B vitamin. Will sent me a list of foods that have high levels of those in them. You up for some grocery shopping? We can also grab some multivitamins that have those in them, too, just to help your levels stabilize faster."

"Okay, we can go now. I'm due for a break."

***

"So, some foods that contain riboflavin include milk, eggs, cheese, yogurt, meats, green leafy vegetables, and riboflavin enriched grains and cereals," Jay read off his phone.

"I've had a lot of those today already," you pointed out. "Eggs and cheese with breakfast. I had that yogurt for a snack at school, and I had meat and cheese on my sandwich and I had chocolate milk with my lunch at school."

That was just standard, Jay thought. He wondered what you ate when you were at your Dad's. And, he knew that if he wanted to obtain guardianship of you, he'd need to know these things.

"What did you eat at Dad's?" Jay probed.

"I mean, I barely made it to school on time most mornings because I was trying to be quiet so I didn't wake Dad, which made me move slower when getting ready. So, I'd usually just grab a small thing of dry cereal when I got to school and eat it in my first class. I never checked to see if it was one of the enriched ones. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. There's no way you could've known. Now, what did you usually have for lunch at school?"

"I always tried to get veggies with my lunch, but most of the veggies were the gross canned ones, like canned corn or green beans. I don't like those. Sometimes, they'd have little salads as a side and I'd get those. Sometimes they'd have yogurt parfaits and I'd get those. But, I'd usually go for the pre-made subs, because at least those would have veggies on them...even if it was just lettuce and pickles. I'd usually try to get an apple or banana as my side, too." You paused. "If I was getting meat and cheese from the sub and milk from my chocolate milk, then how am I deficient in this?"

"It's probably because the meat and cheese schools use is so heavily processed that there are little to no vitamins left in it," Jay answered.

"And you know this how?"

"As you get older, you acquire a lot of knowledge and one of those things is that the more processed a food is, the fewer vitamins and minerals are preserved...and I watch a lot of The Food that Built America on the History channel."

"Oh, okay. What foods are on that show?"

"Usually it's about fast food. One episode I watched last week was about ice cream and popsicles and how they came to be in America. Pretty interesting."

"Can we watch an episode tonight? That show sounds good."

"Of course." He paused in front of the fresh produce. "Take your pick. But, just make sure you get some leafy greens for the riboflavin and some fruit and other green veggies for iron."

You picked up a few things such as more apples, a bag of Clementines, bananas, spinach, carrots, and celery, and then, you shocked your brother as you picked up a bag of kale.

"Kale?" he asked. "Didn't know you liked it."

You shrugged. "I heard it tastes kind of like spinach. And, I saw a recipe on Pinterest for a salad that has kale, lemon juice, and dates. Is it okay if we try that?"

"You know, I think that would be the perfect side for dinner tonight. I'll add lemon juice and dates to the list."

"I didn't grab too many fruits and veggies, right?" you asked, not wanting to waste food or your brother's hard-earned money. "I- I can put some back if you want me to."

"Nope, it's all good. We can always freeze the bananas if they go bad for smoothies or banana bread. And, we can always turn the apples into apple sauce. Spinach and kale freeze well, too and you can't even taste them if we put them in smoothies."

"How do you know this stuff?" you asked.

"I used to watch Mom cook a lot when I was little. And, when I moved out on my own, she gave me a copy of a cookbook she always used. Said the recipes at the beginning of the book were simple enough that I wouldn't burn my apartment down."

You laughed at the thought of your mom scolding Jay if his apartment got ruined from his cooking. "Do you still have it?" you asked. "The cookbook, I mean."

"I do."

"Can we make something out of it tonight?"

"You know, I think that's a great idea." He pursed his lips. "How about Mom's chicken pot pie? I think I have some frozen peas and corn in the freezer and we can use the carrots we just grabbed in it, too."

"That sounds really good. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me." Jay paused. He figured now would be as good a time as any to tell you. "Uh, do you remember the day that we got ice cream and went and played soccer with Ben when you were little? The night that Mom went into the hospital?"

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat at the memory of that day.

"Well, she told me to take care of you. There's no way I would break a promise to Mom."

"She said that?"

"Mhmm."

"It's like she knew something was going to happen."

"Mom was a smart lady. Will had to have gotten it from somewhere and he sure didn't get it from Dad."

You laughed. "Hey, you're smart, too. Just not sciency smart. You're more puzzle smart because you put the pieces together of who committed a crime." Jay laughed at your description of his job. "Oh, is the recipe for Mom's garlic mashed potatoes in that cookbook?"

"It is. Want those as a side along with the salad you mentioned?"

"Yes, please...if it's not a problem."

"They're super simple and quick to make." He scribbled on a piece of notebook paper that he had written down a few groceries on, like the salad ingredients you had mentioned. "Alright, potatoes, a rotisserie chicken, and pastry dough have all been added to the list."

***

"I'll be back later tonight, no later than midnight," Jay told you two days later on Sunday night. "I know it's not ideal because you have school in the morning, but try and get some sleep while I'm gone, okay?"

"I'm used to being home alone at night, Jay." You shrugged. "I'll be fine."

"I know, it's just that not something I want you to get used to. Feel free to eat anything you want, cook anything you want. As long as you don't burn down the house, I don't care what you make. Oh, and remember to take your multivitamin before bed."

You rolled your eyes. "I'm fifteen, not five. Now, get going. Don't want you to be late to meet that lawyer."

"Love you. I'll be back by midnight. Lock the door behind me."

"I will. Love you, too."

With that, Jay left his apartment to go meet with ASA Stone and you locked the door behind him as he told you.

***

"So, Antonio told me you have some custody questions," Peter Stone said once he closed the door of his office.

"That's right," Jay replied as he took a seat in front of Stone's desk and turned his phone completely off and Stone took a seat in his chair behind his desk.

"Didn't know you had a kid, Halstead."

"No, I don't actually," Jay chuckled. "I have a kid sister. Name's Y/N and she's fifteen."

"Okay, and why do you want guardianship then?"

"When me and Will, my older brother, were kids, our dad kinda checked out on parenting us when we hit our mid-teens. But, we had our mom around, so it was okay. I went over there the other day because my dad was having some heart issues and I called Will. When I was there, I got a call of a robbery and it was Y/N. She was stealing food from a corner store because our dad wasn't feeding her," Jay explained.

"I see. So, other than her word and her stealing food, do you have any proof of this?"

"I know I should've called DCFS before letting her stay with me, but I couldn't let her stay there a minute longer, Peter. She's lost like 25 pounds in the past six months and she's deficient in both iron and vitamin B."

"Okay, what we have to do is petition for guardianship in front of a judge. I can help you with the documents and I can even represent you at the hearing if you want."

"Wow, yeah, that'd be great. Thank you."

"Anything else you want to tell me about your dad? Any physical or emotional abuse?"

"Not technically, but there is something else." And then Jay launched into all the information you had told him two days ago.

"Okay. And, you know your dad could theoretically press kidnapping charges against you because you took his kid without his permission?"

"I do. But he was basically starving her. No jury would find me guilty."

"I'm not going to argue with you about that one because I agree with you."

"So, do you think I have a chance of getting guardianship over Y/N?"

"In theory, yes. But, most judges like to keep the child with their biological parents. But, seeing as Y/N's fifteen, she does get some say in who she stays with," Stone explained. "When we have a custody or guardianship battle, we use the child's best interest standard. This means that you must prove that you are capable of providing food, clothing, housing, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N. There will be one or two home visits before appearing before a judge, just to let you know."

"I'm aware of that. And, I just put an offer in on a new apartment with two bedrooms this morning and they're pretty quick in responding, so I should know in the next few days whether or not I got it."

"That's a good start. And you are financially stable to raise her until she turns eighteen, so three more years?"

"I am."

"Alright, let's start on those documents then. Unless you have any more questions for me?"

"I do actually. I, uh, I just found out that I'm technically still married. Something about me not signing the divorce papers even though I specifically remember signing them? And, before you ask, me and this girl served together, we were both twenty-one, going through rough patches and it was a Vegas wedding eight years ago. Lasted no more than twenty-four hours."

"It's really good that you told me this because any good lawyer would find that out when you file for guardianship. It's possible that she didn't co-sign the divorce papers. If that's the reason, I can help you draw up new divorce papers right now."

"Really? You'd help me with that?"

"Of course. A friend of Antonio's is a friend of mine," Stone said as he started typing on his computer. "So, what you can do is you can file for a no-fault divorce."

"You're gonna have to be specific, Stone. I know a bit of criminal law because I've had to testify in criminal cases, but like I said, I don't know family or civil law," Jay said.

"What a no-fault divorce is, Jay, is that you don't have to prove that either of you did anything wrong to get a divorce. All you have to do is state that your marriage is unsalvageable and continue filing for divorce."

"That's it? What if she doesn't sign it?"

"The divorce papers will be served to, uh...what's this girl's name again?" Stone asked.

"Abby."

"Abby. The divorce papers will be served to Abby and she has twenty days to file her response with the court. If she doesn't, then the court rules it as an uncontested divorce and then you're officially divorced."

"Me and Abby are meeting up to talk about all this tonight. But, can we just fill out paperwork for this no-fault divorce just in case things don't go as planned? I just really need to get guardianship of Y/N. The least amount of problems, the better."

"Of course. And if everything goes well with her tonight, then just give me a call and I'll shred the documents."

"Alright, just tell me where to sign."

***

"Wilson is running through the showers wearing nothing but a Kevlar vest, right?" Jay reminisced on the good parts of his Ranger days with Abby at a bar around 8:30 that night after his meeting with Peter Stone.

"Well, the lieutenant said, all outdoor activities to be conducted in body armor." Jay laughed at Abby's rendition of their lieutenant's voice. "Do you remember, he had his girlfriend's name tattooed on his ass?"

Jay set his empty drink down on the bar. "Did he tell you that was his girlfriend? That was his dog's name," Jay laughed.

"That actually makes more sense," Abby said. "I could go for another one of these."

"I, um, I shouldn't."

"Gotta get back to the barracks?"

"No, I uh gotta get back to my little sister, actually. I'm looking after her at the moment. It's a long story. Do you have the papers?"

"I, uh, I don't have them."

"Abby."

"It's just, I never told you. Even that crazy day we got married, I never told you that I loved you, Jay. It didn't feel right. But, I loved you, Jay. I do love you."

Jay sighed. "Abby, you deserve everything good. I'm just not the guy that's gonna give that to you." He brushed her hair to the side and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

After putting some money on the bar to pay for the drinks and tip the bartender, he left the bar. Guess he was going to need these no-fault divorce documents, anyway.

He was almost to his car when he heard someone calling his name. And, it was a voice he knew all too well.

"Erin?" he shouted as she came closer. "What are you doing here?"

"Would it kill you to turn on your phone? You need to get to the district. Now."

"What? Why? What's wrong?"

She got in his passenger seat. "Just drive. I'll explain on the way."

***

You were sitting on Jay's bed reading a book when you heard a knock on the door.

Slowly, you got off his bed and made your way out of his room. You took a knife out of the knife block, but you hoped you wouldn't need to use it. Jay would've told you if someone was planning on stopping over. And, if it was Will, he would've given you a heads-up.

The knocking got louder and more aggressive. "Jayson! Open this door! I have the right to see my daughter!"

Dad.

With the knife still in hand, you backed up and then, once on the carpet, ran back into Jay's room and quietly shut the door and locked it. You pulled out your phone and tried Jay. It went straight to voicemail. The pounding was getting louder. You tried Will. It went straight to voicemail because he was on shift. You thought you heard your dad starting to kick the door now instead of just pounding on it with his fists. You tried the last person you thought could help.

"Y/N?" Erin asked as she answered her phone and paused the tv show she was watching.

"Erin," you whispered. "I'm scared. I need help."

"You need help? Can you tell me why?"

"My dad, he's- he's here. He's looking for me." You heard a crash.

"Jay? Y/N? I know one of you is in here!"

"I- I think he just broke down the apartment door. Please help."

"Okay, okay, here's what you're going to do. I want you to hide somewhere and I'm going to call a patrol car over there right now. You're going to turn your phone on silent and I'm going to call you right back," she told you.

"Okay," you whispered as quietly as you could.

"I'll call you back in one minute tops."

You moved as quietly as you could with the knife and your phone still in your hands and opened Jay's closet door. You buried yourself behind the two garment bags that contained Jay's police blues and his military dress uniform, hoping against hope that your dad wouldn't find you.

Your phone lit up and it was Erin. You answered.

"Y/N, the officers will be there soon. I don't want you to talk. Just know that I'm on the phone with you."

At the same time, as she was talking to you over speakerphone, she was texting the team. She assumed you couldn't reach Jay or Will since you had called her. She told them what was happening and that a few of them needed to get to the district because they needed to find Jay's location. She also told Voight to get ahold of Sharon Goodwin so she could notify Will of what was currently happening.

"Chicago PD! Put your hands where we can see them!" you heard from your hiding place.

"See?" Erin said. "I told you that you'd be okay. I told them that you were hiding, so if someone opens the door, it's just an officer."

Just after she said that the closet door opened.

You squeaked.

"It's okay. You're safe," the officer said. "We're just going to take you down to the district. You're safe."

You peeked out from your hiding place and you saw the blues of the officers. You slowly made your way out and followed the officer out to the patrol car, the one that didn't house your dad for a breaking and entering charge at the moment.

***

"Where is she?" Jay yelled as he entered the district.

Platt just pointed to the bench next to one of the offices where you were sitting, staring at the floor, with a police jacket draped over your shoulders.

He sunk to his knees in front of you. "Are you hurt? Did Dad hurt you? Did he put his hands on you in any way?"

You shook your head.

"Oh thank God."

"I was so scared," you whispered. "When you and Will didn't answer, I thought he was gonna get me."

"I'm sorry. I turned off my phone when I talked to ASA Stone, and I forgot to turn it back on. I'm so sorry. C'mere."

You all but fell off the bench and into Jay's arms. "Is he going to jail? I don't want him going to jail."

"He was drunk out of his mind. I can ask not to press charges, though."

"Please. He needs help."

Although Jay didn't say it, he knew you were right. Jails and prisons didn't rehabilitate, they just taught criminals how to be better criminals. He knew that his dad needed rehab, a twelve-step program, anything.

"Okay, I won't press charges. But, I think we're gonna need to stay with Will for the night because our door's broken. What do you say we run home and grab some clothes to bring to Will's? And, since Dad will be here for a little longer, we can run to his house and get more of your stuff. Sound like a plan?"

"Can we get Dairy Queen on the way to Will's?"

"We sure can."

***

"I- I don't think any of these dresses will fit me anymore. They look way too big," you said to Jay as the two of you unpacked a bunch of your stuff in the guest room of Jay's new apartment. You wanted to think of it as the guest room for now instead of calling it your room just in case Jay wasn't awarded guardianship. You didn't want to get too attached.

Jay sighed. He figured you were right. He would see if Erin could take you, but their relationship was on the backburner right now. And, Erin had some stuff with Bunny she had to work out after she had brought her that pearl bracelet and said that she might be leaving Chicago. So, now wasn't really the right time for him to be bugging Erin about going shopping with you. And, he couldn't ask Kim because she was taking some furlough after finding her sister brutally sodomized after a night out.

He thought about asking Will if Nina could come, but he didn't think that those two were too happy with each other at the moment since Will hadn't told Nina about their dad being in the hospital and she had to find out from Natalie. Not Will's greatest moment.

He racked his brain for more women he knew.

Then it hit him: Gabby.

Yes, they had briefly dated, but that was five years ago. She was married now and his feelings for her were completely gone. They were civil with each other when they saw each other in the field and would chat when Gabby showed up at the district to pick up Eva or Diego.

"How about you try a few on after we finish unpacking, and then if none of them really fit, I can give Gabby a call and see if she'll take you shopping while I work on unpacking the rest of the house," Jay suggested.

"Okay. Will's gonna be over after his shift to help though, right?" you asked.

"He better be. He said he would. If he doesn't come, he better have a really good excuse."

"You can't unpack the kitchen without me," you told him.

"Why not?"

"I can't have you putting the glasses and other stuff on high shelves because I wanna reach them without having to climb on the counter."

"Okay, fine. I'll keep your short little height in mind while I unpack." He paused. "Do you want to get those fancy word stickers for your room for one of the walls?"

"Decals? And, it's not my room yet."

"Listen, after that stunt Dad pulled at my old apartment, Stone is 99.9% positive that I'll be granted guardianship. We just have to jump through all the hoops first."

"Like the home checks?"

"Like the home checks," he confirmed.

"What do I say in court?" you asked a few minutes later as you were putting the pillows on your freshly made bed.

"You just tell the truth," he answered.

"Will you be in there with me?"

"No, I won't. Stone said that usually in these cases you talk to the judge by yourself so that you can't be intimidated by either of the people who are fighting for custody or guardianship."

"So you won't be there? Will won't be there?"

"Will will be out in the hall and I will be in a different room. I'll be in like a witness room, where they make witnesses of a crime wait so that their testimony isn't swayed by what the other people are saying on the stand. But, me and Dad will be in the courtroom at the same time, just so I can see what he'll be saying."

"And, I'll be in there then, too?"

"Yes."

"What kind of questions do they ask me?"

"Stone said that since you're older, you get a say in who you stay with, so they'll ask you questions like who've you known the longest, who you feel safest with, who you want to live with, etc."

"Will they ask me questions about Dad? Like how he didn't give me food and how he broke into your apartment?" you asked.

"They will," Jay confirmed. "But, Stone will be in there for those questions just in case he needs to object to something."

"So the only time I'll be alone with the judge is when they're asking me the first few questions? Like who I feel safest with?"

"Exactly. Now, do you need help putting these books on the top shelf of your bookshelf?"

***

"Hey, how was your day?" Jay asked as he came home from work that afternoon. It was a shock that he was home by 5 pm, but you had a big day tomorrow. Not only was tomorrow Friday, it was the day you and Jay had to go to court to see if he would be awarded guardianship of you.

"We've got a problem," you stated.

"Um, I can try to help you with it, but let me go put my gun away first."

While he was doing that, you pulled out the slip of paper and the note that Gretchen Cunningham had written, saying that she wouldn't allow you to make up the test you would be missing because you had to go to court.

"Alright, what's the problem?" Jay asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Cunningham. She's the problem...as always."

You handed him the papers and he read them over. "Yeah, this isn't going to fly. She doesn't need a judge's signature to allow you to take the test. I'll talk to the school tomorrow morning when I call to tell them you'll be absent."

"I hate her," you groaned. "She's so mean. And, I know what you're gonna say. You have to deal with people you don't like. But, she lost one of my assignments and told me I didn't turn it in and couldn't re-do it!"

"Well did you?" Jay asked. "Turn it in, I mean."

"Jay!"

He put his hands up in a sign of surrender. "I'm just saying, could be your fault."

"Yes, I turned in the stupid assignment. And, she paired me up with the stupidest kid in the class and told me to do well on this assignment because he needed a good grade to pass. It's not my fault he's failing! Don't put his grade on me, lady!"

"And she wouldn't let you re-do it?"

"Nope. But it's fine. I'm still getting an A. That might change if she doesn't let me take this test, though."

"It's like deja-vu from my freshman year all over again. Why doesn't she retire already? She's like 100."

"Or they could fire her," you quipped. "Or I could switch classes."

"I'll see what I can do. Who's the other history teacher?"

"Um, Miss Hedge."

"Hedge? As in Jayne Hedge?"

"Yeah, it's actually her. Why? Do you know her?"

"Yes he does," Will said as he entered Jay's apartment. "In fact, they went to freshman snowcoming together."

"How did you even get in here?" Jay asked, turning around to look at his older brother.

"For a cop, you're not that smart. You didn't lock the door behind you."

"I don't lock my door when I'm still awake. And, seriously? You just had to tell Y/N that, didn't you?"

"You guys can't just leave me hanging now. Tell me the story!"

"Fine," Jay grumbled and Will just laughed and sat down at the table, too. "I met her at school, obviously. She was on the freshman basketball team and I had winter weight training for the soccer team. I thought she was pretty and she was really smart, too. And, I knew that a bunch of the girls went to get Taco Bell after practice, so me and some of my friends decided to go, too."

"There used to be a Taco Bell close to school?" you asked. If there was, you'd never seen it before.

"It got torn down just after I graduated," Jay answered. "Anyway, we went to Taco Bell and I started talking to her and we talked a lot after practice. I'd walk her home sometimes. Then, I asked her to snowcoming and she said yes."

"So, why'd you guys break up? I know you dated Allie in high school."

"We realized we were better off as friends." Jay shrugged.

"And he realized he liked Allie more," Will added.

"Yeah, that too."

Will set a big bag of takeout on the table.

"Seriously?" Jay asked. "I thought we weren't going to do this that much anymore so we can get Y/N's vitamin and mineral levels stabilized."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate the break from your mundane meals," Will said. "And, I got us all side salads to go with the burgers instead of fries, so calm down." Jay gave him a look. "Fine, I got the side salads along with the fries. But, they're made out of potatoes, so they're technically a vegetable."

"For a doctor, you don't know much about nutrition, do you? And, my meals are not mundane."

"Dude, you'd have chicken, spaghetti, or grilled cheese every night."

"Not every night, just a lot of nights when I'd get home from the district late. I'll have you know me and Y/N have been making really good diners lately. Wanna tell Will what we made last night for dinner, Short Stack?"

"We made this really good pasta. We used Orzo, which looks like rice, but it's pasta. And we made a sauce out of tomatoes, onions, and orange juice. It was supposed to be lemon juice, but Jay didn't have any. We put chicken sausage in it for protein...and spices of course," you told Will.

"That actually sounds really good. Wow, Jay cooking every night, not something I expected."

"I like it," you said. "And, he lets me play whatever music I want when we cook."

Will rolled his eyes. You had Jay so wrapped around your finger that he'd do almost anything for you. Will didn't think he himself was that bad, but deep down, he knew he'd do anything for you, too...despite not being in Chicago as long as Jay had been.

***

"So I got a call from Stone this morning," Jay said around 11:30 that night when he and Will were sitting on the couch, each nursing a beer.

Will set his beer down on the coffee table in front of him. "And?"

"And, as of yesterday at midnight, I am officially divorced from Abby. Turns out, they served her the papers and, since she didn't sign them and it had been twenty days, it turned into an uncontested, no-fault divorce."

"Congrats, man. Might've been eight years too late, but you're a free man now."

"Amen to that. And it came at just the right time."

"Yeah," Will agreed. "You nervous for tomorrow?"

"Not really. More nervous for Y/N than anything. I've testified in criminal cases, so I kinda know how this goes, but she hasn't. And, before me and Dad go in to plead our cases, she has to talk to the judge all by herself. I just wish one of us could be in there with her."

Will nodded. "Know what they're going to ask you?"

"I know what Stone's going to ask me because we prepped, but I have no idea what Dad's lawyer is going to ask me. Pretty sure he's got just a public defender, though. Hopefully, that works in my favor."

"Not always, man," Will disagreed. "The public defenders who do these cases only do these cases. They've had a lot of practice."

"You really know how to make me feel better, thanks," Jay replied sarcastically.

"Rather have you hear it from me before the case than someone else after. Are you going to get cross-examined?"

"Probably. Don't know what they're going to ask me though because it's a cross. Stone set up some sample questions for me to answer with him to practice, but I'm going in blind. I'm used to it though because I've testified before. But, this feels like my biggest case."

"Because it probably is."

"Are you talking about tomorrow?" you asked as you quietly padded across the floor towards the living room.

"Y/N? What are you doing up? It's almost midnight," Jay pointed out.

"I- I know. But I couldn't sleep. I'm scared. What if I have to go back to Dad's? What if they find neither of you fit and I have to go into foster care?"

Jay patted the empty spot on the couch next to him and you sat down. "We just have to trust the system. That's all we can do."

"I know, but I can't sleep. And I'm so tired."

"I have an idea," Jay started and stood up, "stay here."

"I'm gonna go look for some melatonin," Will said after a few minutes of you two just sitting in silence. "I think Jay still has some for nights that he can't sleep."

Will was still rummaging around Jay's cabinets when Jay came back with a big black box with some cords and a cardboard box balanced against his hip.

"The hell is that?" You quickly covered your mouth when you realized you had sworn. "Sorry."

"It's okay. And, to answer your question, this is VCR. And, I have a bunch of videotapes in this box." He turned from you to face the kitchen, where Will was still opening and closing cabinets. "Will? What are you doing?"

"Looking for melatonin for Y/N. You got any?"

"First of all, it's so late that if you give it to her now, she'll sleep through her alarm and we can't be late for court tomorrow. And, second of all, I keep it in the medicine cabinet in my bathroom."

Will closed the cabinet and made his way back to the couch to sit next to you as Jay started to hook up the VCR to the tv. "Uh, Jay," Will began, "you know it's a little late for a movie right? And, I should get going in like half an hour?"

"We're not watching a movie. I recorded a bunch of the Blackhawks playoff games on one of these and I thought Y/N'd like to watch the 2010 Stanely Cup final series against the Flyers. Or, we could watch the final series against the Bruins when they won the cup last year."

"Let's watch the 2010 one," you said. "I don't think I watched it because I wasn't into watching hockey as much as I am now."

"And you have Jay to thank for that," Will pointed out.

"You can record things on there? Like an old-school DVR?" you asked.

"God, now I feel old," Will groaned. "Wait until she learns about floppy disks."

"Floppy what now?"

"Nevermind. Only 80s-90s kids would get it."

"We get it. You guys are millennials."

"Got it!" Jay exclaimed as he popped the videotape into the VCR and it started playing. "Now, shut up so we can relive this, Will."

You fell asleep before you even reached the end of the first period.

***

You rubbed your eyes and then looked around you to notice that you were still on the couch. You craned your neck to see the time on the oven on the other side of the open concept kitchen and living room and saw that it was 5:45 am. Jay was at the gym now. And, you knew you wouldn't be able to fall back asleep because you were already starting to worry about the rest of the day. You had to be in court at 8:30 and had to be talking to a judge at 9:00, the judge that would determine who you would be living with, which would inevitably determine your future.

God, you were thinking just like the teachers talked about the SATs, how if you didn't get a good grade on that standardized test that your future would be ruined.

You stood up and stretched and then went back to your room to grab the book you were currently reading. Then, you turned on a few lamps and grabbed a yogurt and fruit from the fridge, along with a glass of orange juice. After wrapping yourself in a blanket, you started to eat and read, hoping that that would keep your mind from wandering and worrying at least until Jay got back from the gym.

Half an hour later, Jay unlocked the apartment door and walked inside, confused as to why you were awake. It was only 6:15 and he had told you just to be up by 6:45.

"What are you doing awake, Short Stack?" he asked as he grabbed a banana from the bowl on the counter.

"I woke up at about 5:45 and I couldn't fall asleep. I'm sorry."

"Nothing to worry about. I just want you as well-rested for today as possible. You have your dress all ready? Know what shoes you're going to wear?"

"Jay," you whined. "I picked all of that out last night because you told me to."

"Just didn't want you to have to rush. I can turn the game back on for you so you can watch it until you have to start getting ready?"

You nodded and Jay came over and fiddled with the tv and the remote, going back to the middle of the first period where he thought you had fallen asleep.

"Okay, I'm gonna take a shower. Will said he'll be here around 7:45. Oh, and you can take that history test when you get back on Monday, in Miss Hedge's class."

You smiled. "Okay." Then, you turned your attention back to the hockey game.

***

You widened your eyes as you stood in the second bathroom getting ready. You had gotten dressed (into a navy blue, lacey dress that ended just above the knee that you had bought with Gabby a few days ago), washed your face, brushed your teeth, did your makeup, but now you were cursing yourself for being so stupid. You had no way of doing your hair. You didn't have a straightener here. And, your typical ponytail or bun wasn't going to cut it for court.

"Jay!" you yelled as you exited the bathroom and knocked on his bedroom door.

He opened it as he was tying his tie. "Yeah? Everything okay?"

"I don't have a straightener! I can't do my hair and if I wear my hair like I usually do then it will look bad on you and--"

"Hey, hey, calm down. We've still got over 45 minutes before we have to leave. I'll give Gabby a call and see if she's not on shift and can let you borrow hers."

You sighed the biggest sigh of relief. "Thank you."

Five minutes later, Jay knocked on the bathroom door as you were brushing your hair. "Gabby will be here in ten."

"Oh thank God."

***

"Thank you!" you exclaimed ten minutes later as you opened the door, revealing Gabby with her hair straightener. And, behind her, was Casey.

"No problem. Just tell me if you're not used to it and need help."

You took it from her. "No, I should be good. Thanks, though. C'mon in. I'm pretty sure Jay's around here somewhere."

They came into the apartment while you ran off to find Jay.

You knocked on his bedroom once more and he opened it, this time completely ready for the day. "Gabby and Casey are here," you told him.

"Casey's here?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah. I think he just came with Gabby."

"Okay. Go fix your hair. I'll go talk to them."

Twenty minutes later, you were finished and slipping your shoes on when you heard a knock on the apartment door. "I got it, Y/N!" Jay yelled.

Well, I hoped you would because you're closer to the door than me, you thought to yourself.

Jay opened the door, and since it was exactly 7:45, he was expecting to just see Will. But, what he saw both shocked him and made him want to cry from appreciation at the same time.

Standing next to Will was Natalie and behind them was all of Intelligence and Trudy Platt and Mouch, all of Squad 3 and Truck 81 (minus Casey because he was inside), Sylvie Brett, Chief Boden, April, Maggie, Dr. Rhodes, Dr. Charles, Reese, and Noah.

"You're all here for the court case?" Jay asked, stunned.

"Well, Natalie has to testify about Y/N's deficiencies and weight loss, but yeah. It's better if the court sees that the person trying to get guardianship has a ton of support. So, I figured I'd call in reinforcements...even though I'm pretty sure my big personality is enough."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Your big ego maybe." He paused, not knowing how he was going to fit everyone in his apartment even if it was bigger than his last one. "However many of you guys can fit inside, can come in. Um, some of you might just need to meet us at the courthouse--"

"Jay, they just came now so you could see how many people were behind you. They're just gonna meet you there. Except for me. I'm driving you two." Jay furrowed his eyebrows. They didn't talk about this. "I'll explain later."

"Gabby," you said as you walked out of the bathroom. "Can you--" you stopped as you saw everyone outside Jay's apartment.

"They're all here for you and Jay," Gabby explained as she stood up. "And, you can't cry because it'll smear your makeup, so hold back the tears."

You nodded as you held them back. "Can you, uh, check the back of my hair to make sure I got it all straight?" you asked.

"Two spots are still a bit wavy. Let's go fix it so you can get going."

A few minutes later, Gabby had fixed your hair and everyone besides Will and Jay had left and were on their way to the courthouse. You slipped on a pair of black ballet flats and your coat.

Will had explained that the reason he was driving was that if Jay didn't get guardianship, he didn't want him driving in such a distressed state. Will had worked on so many patients who were in car accidents due to their emotional state and he didn't want Jay to be one of them.

"Ready?" Jay asked you.

"As ready as I'll ever be," you said as you wiped your sweaty palms on your dress.

"All you have to do is tell the truth."

***

You thought you'd be comfortable inside a courtroom because of the crime dramas you'd seen. But, standing inside one was very different from watching a fictional tv show.

No one but you, the judge, the court reporter, Peter Stone, and your dad's lawyer could be in the room for this next part, so everyone was either in a witness room or waiting outside in the hallway for the go-ahead to be let in. You would be allowed to be in the courtroom while they were talking to Jay and your dad, but they wouldn't be able to be in the room when you talked to the judge...for obvious reasons, such as influencing what you would say.

"All rise."

You stood up next to Stone as the judge, who you now knew as Judge Callahan, entered the room.

Once you sat down, you were called to the stand. "Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" you were asked as you placed your hand on the Bible.

"I do," you answered.

"Alright, please allow Miss Halstead on the witness stand," Judge Callahan said. "Now, I'm just going to ask you a few questions. All you have to do is answer them. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Okay, first question: Has your father, Pat Halstead, ever hit you or physically abused you in any way?"

"No," you answered.

"Has he ever neglected to give you necessities, such as food, water, clothing, or shelter?"

"Yes."

"Can you please elaborate?"

You did. You explained how your dad never had food in the house and would yell at you and call you a burden if you tried to eat his leftovers.

"Is it true that your father tried to break into your brother's house to get you?" Judge Callahan asked.

"Yes."

"Who do you feel safest with?"

"My brother, Jay Halstead."

"Who would you prefer to live with?"

"Jay Halstead."

***

Jay sat on the witness stand. He had answered all of Stone's questions, including all of the questions about him finding you stealing, what you had been using for pads, and what he had been told that you had been eating at your dad's house. Natalie had testified about your physical well-being, weight loss, and iron and riboflavin deficiencies. But now, it was time for Jay's cross-examination. And, he sure as hell didn't expect this next question to be asked.

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer began, "you previously said, and I quote, that your dad clocked out on parenting you and your older brother, Will, when you were in your teens, around when you started high school. Can you elaborate on that?"

"Objection!" Stone yelled. "Relevance?"

"Speaks to a pattern."

"I'll allow it," Judge Callahan said. "Please answer the question, Mr. Halstead."

Jay nodded. "He clocked out on parenting me and Will because he said that were essentially grown men at this point in our lives, we didn't need him cheering us on or him helping us. He didn't come to a single one of my soccer games in high school. And, if by some miracle we went out for ice cream or something just me, my brother, and my dad, he wouldn't pay for ours. Said we were old enough to pay for ourselves.

"But, we had our mom. She came to all our games and school events. She made us breakfast, lunch, and dinner. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would've happened to me and Will. My dad didn't even want me to go into the military and didn't want Will to go to medical school. He said a real man went right to work. The only time I felt loved by him in all my teenage years was when I left for the military. It was like because he knew I might die over there that he figured he'd say he loved me one last time."

"Redirect, your honor," Stone said. Judge Callahan nodded at Stone. "You said that your mom made you and your brother lunch. Are you doing that for Y/N?"

"Objection! Relevance?"

"Speaks to Mr. Halstead's abilities as a parent."

"I'll allow it. Please answer the question."

"I actually do," Jay answered. "I make her a packed lunch to bring to school every day and I'm sure to add foods high in iron and riboflavin to help those levels stabilize quicker. The first time I packed her a lunch, she actually cried because she hadn't gotten a lunch from home in so long."

"Thank you."

"Mr. Halstead," your dad's lawyer started, "you were previously deployed overseas in Afghanistan for two tours of duty. While I thank you for your service, is it possible that you could have PTSD and hurt Y/N in the middle of the night?"

"I would never hurt her!"

"While you are fully conscious, maybe. But, while you are in a sleep-addled state, isn't it possible that you might think that the person waking you up is an enemy soldier and not your little sister?"

Jay sighed. No one knew this about him, not you, not Will, not his dad. No one. And now all of his family and closest friends were going to know since they were in the courtroom watching this entire thing unfold.

"I am on Prazosin for nightmares caused by my PTSD," Jay answered.

"And how long have you been on this medication?"

"For about two years."

"And this has helped you manage your nightmares?"

"Yes, very much so."

"No further questions."

***

"Jesus, Jay," Will said after you had watched your dad's testimony on why he should get to keep you. It was the usual: how he was your father, so, therefore, he deserved to keep taking care of you and it's what your mother would've wanted...despite her telling Jay to keep you safe before she died. They already had the responding officers testify about the break-in, so he couldn't deny that and he was under oath, so if anyone found out he lied, then your dad would be held in contempt.

"I'm sorry I never told you, man," Jay said. "I just, I thought of it as weak that I couldn't deal with my own shit." He grimaced when he realized he had sworn around you. "Sorry, Y/N."

"It's okay. I hear that stuff at school."

"I'm just upset you didn't tell me they were getting that bad, Jay," Will lamented. "I know I wasn't there for you a lot after Mom died, but I'm here now."

Jay nodded, and Will knew he didn't want to talk about the topic anymore. You looked through the little window into the courtroom and saw that the judge was coming back from her chambers.

"Guys, I think she's made a decision," you said nervously.

"Whatever happens, me and Jay will be there for you," Will promised.

All you could do at this point was nod, as a lump was forming in your throat from all your nerves.

Jay led you back into the courtroom and you sat at the front, between Jay and Will. You wiped your sweaty palms on your dress and Jay gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

Judge Callahan stood up.

"By using the child's best interest standard of who can provide food, clothing, housing, education, medical care, and a stable home life for Y/N Halstead, I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead."

You could've sworn that you stopped breathing the second she said Jay's first name. You were so overwhelmed that you just turned to him and started crying as he wrapped an arm around you while he listened to the judge state your dad's visitation rights.

But, you didn't hear any of that. The only phrase that kept repeating in your head was I declare Mr. Jay Halstead the legal guardian of Y/N Halstead over and over again.

Now, you knew that you'd always have the necessities when you lived with Jay. You wouldn't have to worry about where your next meal was going to come from or if your dad would be out until 3 am drinking. You wouldn't have to worry about having access to tampons or pads and not be embarrassed anymore to ask for some from school if you forgot to put any in your backpack that day. But most of all, you knew that you would be loved and cared for.

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Did I make anyone cry with this one??? The blood draw scenario was actually based on when I had to go and get my blood drawn the other day and thought I was going to pass out, which is why that scene was so long. Anyway, thank you again for reading, and please reblog/like and comment and tell me what you think! As always, if you want to be added to my taglist, just tell me and I’ll add you!

taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @onechicago18 @iamasimpingh0e

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fanfics-for-the-hockey-fan · 5 years ago

Text

Surprising Turns - Matthew Tkachuk

Notes: So this is probably one of the longest single shot stories I have ever written! Lately I have been sleeping like trash, normally waking up between 3 and 4 in the morning. And this is what I have been working on during that time for the last couple of weeks. The idea just popped in my head one morning. I hope you enjoy!

Even after close to 2 years dating Matt long road trips were still the worst. He was always good about calling at least once a day, filling each day with random texts and snapchats when he had the time. It made the time we were separated a little less lonely, made me feel like he was still a part of my day to day life. Needless to say I was excited for him to get home today. I knew he would be home by the time I got off work, leaving the office around 6:30 and heading to our shared apartment. I peaked my head in my boss’s office, “I’m gonna head out if you don’t need anything.”

“No, have a good night and tell Matt he did a good job on the road trip.” I nodded before saying goodbye, making sure my desk was okay before leaving. I loved my job as an executive assistant, it was actually the reason I met Matt. The architecture firm I work at donated a prize to a fundraising gala the Flames were holding and I was tasked with dropping off the basket. I ran straight into Matt and landed flat on my ass, he apologized and convinced me to get coffee with him. That was the beginning of us and it was one of the best things that happened to me. Stepping into the apartment I pulled off my coat and kicked off my heels before moving further in the apartment. I was surprised to not hear the tv or Matt yelling into a headset as he played video games with his teammates, the only time Matt was quiet was when he was sleeping.

“Matt, are you home?" Walking further into the apartment I found Matt sitting on the couch, staring at the black screen of the TV. "Matt, did you not hear me call your name?" Seeing how he was blankly staring had me worried, sitting down next to him I tried to get his attention. "What's wrong?"

He didn't turn to look at me, still staring straight ahead as he spoke. "I don't think we should see each other anymore Rachel." If I wasn’t sitting I would have fallen onto the couch as my knees gave out.

“I don’t understand. You went on a week and a half road trip and at some point decided that you don't want to date anymore.” Matt finally looked at me, sadness and regret in his eyes and I nodded. “It’s not that you don’t want to date, it’s that you don’t want to date me.” When he didn’t argue I stood up and moved down to the bedroom without another word. I quickly grabbed out my two large suitcases and started pulling my clothes out of the closet, not bothering to fold them as I tossed them into the suitcase on the bed. Matt walked into the room after a few minutes, finding a small spot on the bed to sit.

“What are you doing?”

“Packing up my stuff.”

“Why?”

“Matt! You just broke up with me, if you think I am staying here tonight you must have been hit in the head with multiple pucks during your road trip.” I didn’t even look up from what I was doing after that, as I packed up all of my important things I made a point of not touching anything Matt had gifted to me in our two years. Once both suitcases were filled and closed I packed up a backpack with a few more important things all while Matt just sat there watching me.

I got the suitcases off the bed and that finally got Mat moving. “Where are you going to stay tonight? I can sleep in the guest room tonight.”

“I don’t know. I’ll be back for the rest of my stuff at some point.” Matt looked like he wanted to say something but I didn’t give him a chance as I walked away. Pulling the suitcases I walked out of the apartment that I called my home for over a year now, I waited outside of the apartment for a few minutes, hoping that Matt would come running out. When he didn’t I knew it was really over, tears starting to flow as I went down to my car, using my phone to find a hotel for the night and sending an email that I would be taking a day off work. My heart had shattered as I left the apartment but I didn't have time for that now, I needed to figure out my life.

That night I spent crying in a hotel room, eating ice cream straight from the container and figuring out what kind of apartment I could afford. The next day I found a long term business hotel that would work. When I stepped into my new living space I started crying again, being here was just the final nail in the coffin of my relationship with Matt. Sinking down on the floor I only had a few minutes to cry my eyes out again before my phone was ringing. I stupidly answered without looking to see who it was and I regretted it immediately. “Hello.”

“Any idea why Matt was in such a bad mood today at practice?” Hearing Johnny’s voice made my heart ache, it just hit me that I was losing a whole lot more than Matt, I was losing all of his teammates and their significant others. “Hello? Rachel? Did I lose you?”

“Matt broke up with me last night.”

“What? What happened?”

“I don’t know, I came home from work and he was just sitting on the couch staring at the wall. He said that he didn’t think we should see each other anymore, no further explanation.”

“Where are you now?”

“A corporate, long term hotel. I couldn’t find anything else last minute.”

“Shit. Do you need anything?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you Johnny.”

“Rachel, you know you can call if you need anything. Just because Matt has his head stuck up his ass doesn’t mean that you lose all of us.”

“I have to get going, thank you for calling.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Hanging up I tried to hold the sobs back but they broke through as I made my way to the bed.

The next few days were hard; all I did was go to work and try not to cry and then cry at my new place of living. Matt’s teammates and their girls called all the time but I just ignored them all. I needed to separate myself from the life I used to have. Luckily work as a secretary kept me busy and by the time I went home everyday I barely had the energy to eat dinner and clean up before I was climbing in bed. And I kept that routine going for a while until Mark and Lauren Giardano were knocking on my door on a Saturday about a month after the breakup.

"I - how did you guys find me?"

"Johnny still has your UberEats login information. He looked up to see where food had been delivered lately."

“Um, do you want to come in? I don’t have a lot of sitting room…”

“How about we go down to the coffee shop in the lobby?” Lauren offers, seeing my discomfort. I nod, sliding on the flip flops I had next to the door and grabbing my phone and key card before walking out of the room. We were all quiet until we sat at a table in the back of the coffee shop. “How are you doing?”

“I’m keeping my head above water.”

“Really? Because, and don't take this the wrong way, you look horrible." Mark said and I let out a soft chuckle.

"Is there a right way to take that?"

"Probably not, but you look exhausted." Which I was, while I felt like all I did in the room was sleep it was never a restful, refreshing sleep. "Why don't you move in with us until you can find a real place to live, not this grey box you are in now."

"We have the guest suite all set up in the basement. Have a real homemade meal, not the peanut butter and jelly and take out you are living on now."

"I-. Thank you for the offer but really I'm fine. I'm actually going to see a few apartments in a little bit."

"Then we can come with you, the kids are all at friends' today. We have to make sure you pick a good place." Lauren said and I was about to argue when I saw Mark's captainly stern face. I quietly agreed, saying I needed to go get ready but would be down in 30 minutes and we could head out towards the first apartment. Nausea hit me like a wave in the elevator and barely made it into my room and bathroom before I was hunched over the toilet.

I desperately want to tell Lauren and Mike that I was sick and wasn't up for apartment hunting but I knew that would just lead to them pushing me to move in with them. Splashing some cold water on my face and quickly brushing my teeth I pulled on a sweater dress and some leggings that made it look like I put in effort when all I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and cry all day. I switched my flop flops for a pair of low heeled boots before fixing my ponytail. Not bothering with makeup I grabbed my bag and headed back downstairs to get this day over with.

The three of us spent the afternoon looking at different apartments, I kept my opinions to myself while listening to Mark and Lauren hint at the fact they wanted me to move in with them. My unexpected day with them extended further into the evening when they insisted I come over for dinner. I sat at their kitchen island as the two of them worked together to make dinner.

All day I could tell they wanted to ask about Matt and finally I was done with the questioning looks. "Just ask your questions already."

"What happened between the two of you?" Lauren asked as she offered me some wine, I shook my head no. The nausea from before had come back and I was barely able to push it down.

"I don't know. When he left he told me he loved me and when he got back we would have a date night out somewhere. He kept bringing it up whenever we would talk. Then I got home from work on the day you guys got back and he said he didn't think we should see each other anymore."

"Oh Rachel, I'm so sorry."

"I just don't know what happened between us in such a short time. And I just don't know how I'm supposed to move on from it, it feels like my heart was ripped out and nothing is going to fill the hole.”

“He's an idiot." I looked up to see Mark with a plate of grilled chicken and an angry look on his face. Before I could say anything else another wave of nausea hit me and I hopped off the stool and made it to the bathroom just in time to lose the content of my stomach for a second time that day. When I was finally able to lift my head away from the toilet I saw Mark and Lauren standing in the doorway of their powder room. "I’m sorry, I think with everything going on I caught a stomach bug that has been going around the office. I think I’m just gonna head home and change into sweats and sleep.”

“We’ll drive you back.” I just nod, grabbing my coat and following Lauren and Mark out to their car. It was a quiet and peaceful ride back to my current address and when the car stopped in front of the building I hesitated before getting out.

"Thanks for coming to check on me and thank you for looking at those apartments with me."

"Of course. Just because Matt is a fucking idiot doesn't mean that we have to stop being friends. We will always be there for you." I give a quick nod and a weak smile before opening the car door. "Rachel, think about our offer." Another quick nod and then I hurried out the door and into the building.

The tears started to flow as soon as I was in the elevator, the knowledge hitting me that if I had any chance of moving on from this heartbreak and getting over Matt I needed to cut every part of that relationship out of my life. And that meant losing all the friends I had on the team, friends that were basically my only family. I knew that if I still spent time with them I would see Matt and I didn’t think my heart could handle it. So that night as tears would spill intermittently, I found another apartment to look at the next day.

By the time the sun rose the next morning I had a plan. I knew where the guys and their families spent their time, I would avoid all of those places which was easy enough. I changed the password on my UberEats account so I wouldn’t have another ambush from any of his teammates. In all honesty I really wanted to just pack up and move somewhere else and start over, but my grandfather was still here and I wanted to be close to him, he was the only family I had left. Once it was a more normal hour I went to see the new apartment, determining that it would work and signing the contract before I left.

Even after being at the long term hotel a month I had barely unpacked so checking out only took an hour before I was driving to my new apartment. Luckily the apartment came fully furnished so I just had to run to Target for some basics like plates, silverware, cookware, towels, and sheets. I also got some groceries for the week, happy to finally have a kitchen again so I could stop having PB&J or takeout for every meal.

By the time I fell into bed that night I was content, it wasn't home but it was as close as I could get right now. I was almost asleep when my phone started buzzing on the nightstand, I took one look at the screen seeing the caller ID as 🏒🚫 and swiping to ignore the call.

I wasn't sure who it was, any person in my phone that was associated with Matt got that combination of emojis as a replacement for their name. I knew if I just deleted the contacts I would answer the unknown phone number, this way I knew it was someone hockey related and to not answer. Once the screen went black, I rolled over and willed myself to sleep.

***

After a few weeks of my new normal I had a new issue in my life, I was still feeling sick and after throwing up at work one of the other assistants came into the bathroom to check on me. “Rachel, is there any possibility you are pregnant?” I wanted to immediately refute the question, but then it made me stop and think. It was a possibility and it terrified me. “Let’s go for a quick walk to a pharmacy and get a test, okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Taking the test in the pharmacy bathroom was nerve wracking. When the test was looking back at me with the bold words, ‘PREGNANT��, I had a million emotions run through me. Jenn grabbed my hand when she saw the results.

“I am here, however you need me.”

“Thank you, I don’t have a lot of friends now.” Jenn just nodded before grabbing a few things and paying for them, nodding at the door of the store.

“These should help with your morning sickness, my sister in law swore on these when she was pregnant. I can also call her to ask who her OBGYN was, she loved her.” She handed me a pack of ginger candies, giving me a soft smile as I nodded.

“Thank you, I have no clue what I need to do.”

***

I was leaving my 28 week doctor appointment and craving a soft pretzel. Getting in my car I decided to stop at the grocery store to get some frozen soft pretzels that I could make when I got home. While I was looking at other things I might want from the frozen section, I heard a voice I never expected to hear again. “Rachel?”

I dropped my shopping basket, causing a loud crash in the store as I turned around to see Matt standing behind me with his hands shoved in the pockets of his shorts and a Flames baseball cap covering some of his curly hair. I watched as a variety of emotions ran across his face, before his eyes stayed on my not so small baby bump. “Hi Matt.”

“Um…”

“Just ask the question already Matt, I don’t want to stand in the frozen aisle all day.” I knew I was bitchy when I said it, but I didn’t care. My feet and back hurt, and this conversation was putting more time between me and my soft pretzel.

“Is it mine?”

“Unless you can get pregnant eating Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, then yes he's yours.” Matt just stood there, not saying anything or doing anything so I just grabbed my basket and went to leave the aisle when I heard his footsteps follow me. “Rachel, please.”

“My frozen stuff is defrosting.” Just seeing him hurt, seven months didn’t make me love him any less. I was doing my best to keep a wall up but all I wanted to do was hug him and never let go. “I have to go Matt.”

“Can we just talk? Please, I have so much to say to you.” I knew I was going to regret it but I heard myself speaking before I could stop myself.

“Okay.”

“Come over to my new house? You can put your stuff in the freezer while we talk.” I wanted to make up any excuse possible that I couldn't do it today, so I could run away and never look back. But I found myself nodding before he took the basket from my hands and led me towards the check out. I followed him in my car, surprised as we drove into a new development of houses. Pulling into a driveway I was in awe of the craftsman style house I was looking at. Matt was opening my car door before I even unbuckled, too in awe of the house in front of me to move.

"Your house is beautiful."

"Thanks, they finally finished construction at the end of July, only 3 months behind schedule." That statement confused me, as I was thinking about that, Matt helped me out of the car before grabbing my groceries and guiding me inside the beautiful front door. The inside was just as gorgeous as the outside and I smiled when I spotted a framed picture of him and his family.

"How is your family?"

"Good. Mom is already trying to plan a trip to visit, I think it's mainly to make sure I haven't ruined the hard work she did with decorating the inside of the house. Taryn is still pissed at me for breaking up with you, she barely spoke to me for 4 months." Matt let out a nervous chuckle before rubbing his neck and leading me further into his house. He showed me to what I'm guessing is the living room before murmuring that he would be right back. I slowly sat on the loveseat, looking around the room and tucking my feet under my body.

Every single part of my mind was screaming at me to forget the groceries and run. Run away before my heart broke the rest of the way. But running wasn't really an option right now, it all just felt like waddling at this point. While I was debating with myself I didn't notice Matt was back until he stood in front of me, offering a glass of water. "Thank you."

He nodded before sitting down on the couch, turning to face me. "How far along are you?"

"28 weeks. About 7 months."

“Fuck. Were you ever going to tell me?”

“So you could be a yearly visit and a card on every birthday and holiday?”

“And what makes you think I would be that? That I wouldn’t want to be a part of my kid’s life?!”

“Because you pushed me out of your life after a road trip! The day you were coming home you told me in the morning that you were planning a date for us and by the time I got home from work you were telling me you didn’t want to date me anymore. No reason, no explanation. Your teammates reached out and you didn’t!”

“Do they know about the baby?”

“No, I cut them off two months after we broke up. A week later a coworker asked me if I was pregnant. The rest is history.” Matt didn’t say anything for a few minutes, just sitting with his head in his hands. It took me back to the night my life fell apart. I couldn’t do it again so I got up to leave, I made it to the front door before I heard his voice.

“I should have never broken up with you.”

“Then why did you?!” I turned around, seeing Matt walk towards me and guiding me back to the couch. He knelt in front of me, lifting my chin so I was looking into his eyes.

“Because I was scared! I had just signed the contract on this place while we were on the road, I was planning on bringing you out here once I got back. I was going to show you the progress on the house and I had this whole plan but then I just kept thinking about how we only had one game at home before we were leaving again for another three game road trip. On the plane ride home I just kept thinking about how you deserved better than me being gone all the time.”

“So instead of you being gone sometimes, you decided I would be better off with you in my life none of the time.”

“No one ever said I was smart.”

“No argument here.” Matt chuckled, smiling at me before standing up.

“Is there any way you can forgive me? I want to be a part of your life and our baby’s life.”

“I-”

“I was going to propose to you. My plan was to show you the house and ask for you to spend the rest of our lives together. But I’m a piece of shit and got scared because of a little voice in my head that told me I would never be enough.” An alarm went off on my phone then, I quickly silenced it before looking at Matt.

“I have to go, I have a real estate appointment in 30 minutes.”

“Move in with me. I can move out of the master bedroom, you can move in there. The room across the hall can be a nursery.”

“I can’t do that to you.”

“I’m offering. Please. Just let me do this. I want to be a part of your life, a part of the baby’s life.”

“Okay, but I’m not kicking you out of your room. I’m sure there are enough rooms that I can move into one of them.”

“Deal.”

“Let me call my real estate agent and then we can talk about how this is going to work.”

“I guess I should tell my parents they are going to be grandparents.” As we both made our phone calls I couldn’t stop watching Matt, I was happy to have him back in my life in any way.

***

“Matt. Matt, wake up.” I poked his shoulder again, trying to keep calm. Finally he woke up, rolling over to look at me sitting up in bed. A bed I had just moved into a few weeks before.

“What’s wrong?”

“I am pretty sure I am in labor.” That got him moving, jumping out of bed and pulling on clothes as he started speaking.

“Okay, stay calm. We have a plan. We have a bag ready to go. We can call my parents on the road. Do you need anything?” I shook my head, getting out of bed and grabbing shoes before we headed out. As Matt drove us to the hospital and called his family to share the news I thought about the last two months.

Things were awkward between us at first but Matt was persistent and we started dating again once I was settled into his house. His teammates and their girls welcomed me back with open arms, everyone excited about the pregnancy. Having my support system back was amazing, I had my family again.

Matt pulled me out of my mind when his hand landed gently on my knee. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just glad that I craved a soft pretzel two months ago."

"Me too." Matt had pulled into the hospital parking structure before rushing around to help me out of the car. "Ready to meet Matt Jr?"

"We are not naming our child that." That got a laugh out of Matt just as another contraction hit, making us stop in the middle of a parking lot. Matt easily scooped me up in his arms to continue our trek into the building.

"Don’t even try to say you are too heavy for me to be doing this. I lift more than this at least once a week." I quickly shut my mouth because I was going to argue. Matt just gave me a satisfied smirk before kissing my cheek. A nurse spotted us as we got closer to the entrance, hurrying over with a wheelchair for me.

We were quickly hurried inside and into a room, my doctor coming in a few minutes after we finished the registration paperwork. “Are we ready to meet your son?”

“More than ready.”

***

I was holding my beautiful son when I spotted some of Matt’s teammates on the other side of the door. “Congrats mama.” Johnny says as he strolls into the room with a teddy bear and a vase with flowers with Sean right behind him. Both of them placed their gifts on the dresser filled with stuff before coming over to kiss my cheek before looking down at my baby boy. “Where’s Matt?”

“He went to grab some food for both of us. He should be back in a minute.” Just as I finished saying it, Matt stepped into the room with a tray of food. “He just fell asleep, can you put him down for me?” Matt quickly nodded, putting him down in his temporary bed before handing me a yogurt parfait.

“So what’s his name?”

“Benjamin Harrison Tkachuk.”

“Congrats, both of you. I’m glad that Matty got his head out of his ass because he is much better with you in his life.” Sean says as the two of them get ready to leave.

“Yeah, lets just hope the only thing he gets from Matt is his hockey skills. It would just be cruel for him to get his looks.” Johnny said before running out of the room, with Matt throwing a pillow at him.

I laughed at their hijinks, glad to have it all back in my life. “I love you.”

“I love both of you.”

Request are open!!!

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storiesbymads · 5 years ago

Text

EIGHTEEN ( joe liebgott . )

Y/N met Joe a few days after she graduated from high school. loosely based off the one direction song.

warnings: none but it gets kinda sad @ the end ig

wc: 4.3k

Graduation was days away and Y/N could feel the air escaping her lungs just thinking about it. She had been dreaming about this day for the past twelve years and it was actually happening. Although, now that it was here, the moment felt bittersweet. She was about to leave all the childhood friends she’d made for a junior college across the country in San Francisco. It was almost too surreal for her to handle. A week from now, she’d be somewhat situated in an apartment she’d only seen once without her parents or really anyone that she knew. She would be starting her life.

The last few days of senior year could not have gone by any slower. Final exams had been the week prior so the classes she was attending were really just excuses for all of her classmates and teachers to get emotional about the time they’d spent together. Y/N counted down the minutes until she could finally get out of there. While some of the girls she’d come to know as her best friends were allowing themselves to shed a tear or two and give close to a million hugs to people they’d shared maybe a conversation with in their time there, Y/N kept finding herself in her daydreams about what her new life was going to be like.

“I cannot believe it’s our last day of high school,” her friend Annabelle said. There were about twelve girls all scrunched up at one lunchroom table in an already overcrowded lunchroom. Thankfully, the number had dwindled slightly over the years and now Y/N at least had enough room to put her elbows on the table when she was eating.

“I know! I’m gonna miss you girls so much,” another girl named Cecile said. Y/N swore she saw the slightest hint of a tear in her eye as she said it. Y/N took a bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich without another word.

The amount of nerves surrounding her as she stood on the small auditorium stage astounded her. She attended a small school with her graduating class maxing out around 200 and yet the room felt like it was about to explode. All of the classmates around her were decked out in the signature royal blue of their highschool with bright smiles and hazy eyes from the brightly flashing cameras. Y/N fidgeted with the tassel on her cap as she waited for the ceremony to begin. A few of her friends were sitting a few feet away from her. The deafening heartbeat in her ears stopped her from being able to hear what they were talking about. It wasn’t until one of them nudged her ribs that she realized the lights had dimmed slightly and everything was starting.

The announcer’s speech, thankfully, hadn’t lasted longer than a few minutes and the graduates had started making their way across the stage. Before Y/N knew it, she was walking across the stage and shaking hands with the principal and various other administrators she’d come to know over the years. Her legs were numb and she was surprised--and very grateful--that she made it across the stage without so much as tripping. She even silently thanked her mother beforehand for discouraging her from wearing the three-inch pair of heels in her closet.

“The Class of 1936! Congratulations!” her principal announced as a wave of blue filled the air. There were graduation caps everywhere across the auditorium. It was going to be extremely difficult to tell whose was whose at the end of the day but that didn’t stop a single student from completing the tradition. One student’s cap even managed to land in the rafters for a few seconds before coming down.

It was difficult to locate her parents in the crowd in the moments after. Everything seemed to be simultaneously happening in slow motion and hyper speed since her first step across the stage. She spotted the top of her mother’s head across the room and rushed over to meet them. Both of her parents had been leaning up against the wall near the exit speaking to another couple until they noticed her semi-running towards them. Her father pulled her into a tight hug and made a comment about an eyelash messing with his eye the entire ceremony. She gave her mother a soft smile when he finally let her go. Her parents gave a small goodbye to the couple next to them and joined hands with their daughter on the way out of the highschool for seemingly the last time in their lives.

The sound of her alarm clock buzzing at 6:30 in the morning caused a loud groan to fall from Y/N’s lips as she begrudgingly pulled herself from the warmth of her duvet and into her adjoining bathroom to start her day. It was moving day. Well, technically. Most of her furniture had been shipped out to her apartment a few days prior but today was the official moving date. She had to be at the train station by 8:00 with the last of her belongings. Judging by the fact that Y/N was brushing her teeth with her eyes still very much closed, it was evident that she was very much regretting choosing the earliest departure time to San Francisco available.

Her two suitcases were packed and stacked next to the front door of her parents’ home and she kept glancing at them during the entire duration of breakfast. In her mind, she was going over every item that she needed to bring and checking the mental checklist she’d gone over about twenty times over the past two days. She knew it was overly redundant but she couldn’t bear the thought of forgetting something and not being able to retrieve it until the next major holiday. It was unlikely, though, that she would forget something as her childhood bedroom was practically barren save for the twin bed and the wire coat hangers in her closet.

“Honey, if you look at those suitcases one more time,” her mother lightly scolded. She was glad her daughter was so excited for something but she was still slightly bitter to the thought of her daughter leaving home so soon after graduation.

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it,” she sighed. The plate of eggs and bacon had barely been eaten--mostly just moved around with a fork--and was growing colder by the minute. Y/N knew she wouldn’t be able to eat with the amount of nerves building up in her stomach. She spared a final glance at the luggage

“Your mother’s right,” her father sighed and blew the steam off of his cup of coffee. Y/N was surprised to see the newspaper usually tightly clutched within her father’s fingers nowhere in sight.

“So, what’re your plans for the day?” Y/N asked after a few moments of silence. She had completely given up on her plate of food and had pushed it further towards the center of the table.

“Oh, you know. Mope around the house wishing our baby were still here with us,” her mother said dramatically, pretending to wipe a tear from her face.

“Very funny.”

“She’s not joking,” her father chuckled into his mug. It was odd to see him this way. Both of his hands were tightly wrapped around the white porcelain and he still had his reading glasses on rather than the contacts she was so accustomed to seeing. Come to think of it, her mother looked quite strange, too. She was still in her evening robe and had made no effort to remove the curlers from her hair.

“Are you not accompanying me to the train station?” Y/N asked. She watched her parents share knowing glances before they each turned towards her.

“Your father thinks it’s best if we say our goodbyes here. He knows I’ll cry like a banshee if we do it in public and he wants to spare you the embarrassment,” her mother said.

“Oh,” Y/N mumbled and glanced down at her fingers fiddling with the hem of the tablecloth. “Thanks, Dad.”

“Oh Honey-”

“We can come with you if you want!”

“No, no. Dad’s right. Plus, if you start crying I’m sure to start crying and then where would we be,” Y/N allowed an airy laugh to brush past her lips at the thought of her and her parents all crying and smushed together in a dysfunctional group hug.

Due to the fact that Y/N had taken probably the longest nap in her life on the train, her legs felt as stiff as the concrete beneath her feet as she tried (and failed) to make her way out of the station in a normal looking way. Every step looked more like a waddle combined with the luggage that felt ten times heavier getting off than getting on settled on either one of her shoulders.

“Need some help with that, doll?” One of the various taxi-cab drivers asked. It took her a second to locate which one was addressing her but it was easy enough to identify him when she noticed him quickly approaching her with a hand out.

“Uh,” she mumbled. “Yeah-Yes. That’d be great, thank you.”

“Just doing my job,” he sent her a wink as he helped her load the luggage into the trunk of the bright yellow vehicle. Y/N allowed herself to take in the appearance of the man as she got into the backseat and told him her destination. He was quite skinny but that didn’t take away from the overall build of him. In fact, it seemed to make her more attracted to him. His lips seemed to be plastered in a permanent smirk and his hair was way too perfect for him to just have thrown some gel in it and called it a day. It was good enough to land him a hair modeling gig, in her opinion.

“How long will you be staying?” the driver asked and made eye contact with her through the rear-view. His eyes had a mischievous glint to them.

“I don’t look like a regular to you?” she asked with mock offense.

“With that accent? Not a chance, dollface,” he said. They retained eye contact for a few more seconds before his sight flickered back to the road in front of him. Y/N was thankful for the added background noise of the radio at that point.

“You’re actually taking me to my new place,” Y/N said after a few moments of awkwards silence. She found herself fiddling with a slightly ripped piece of leather on the seat beneath her. She felt his eyes on her but by the time she looked back up at the mirror his eyes were focused on the road once more.

“How do you know I’m not a creepy stalker? Now I know where you live,” he joked as he reached a red light. She was able to get a good look at his eyes in the mirror now. The sunlight coming in from the windshield allowed her to notice the swirl of chocolate in his irises. Multiple car honks behind them startled the driver into pressing on the gas a little too quickly, startling Y/N and almost causing her to faceplant into the back of the seat.

“Sorry about that, doll,” he muttered and adjusted how he was sitting ever so slightly and allowed one of his hands to rest on the center console rather than the wheel.

“So, are you?” she asked.

“What?” his eyebrows scrunched together and his grip on the wheel tightened.

“Are you a stalker?” Y/N allowed herself to relax into the seats more. She didn’t really care if he was a stalker. She just never wanted him to stop talking.

“You’ll be glad to know that I am not, Miss…” he voice trailed off, obviously asking for her name.

“Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Joe Liebgott. Nice to make your acquaintance, dollface,” he sent her another wink through the mirror. Y/N felt her heart sink slightly when she noticed her apartment building only a few feet away.

By the time Joe had found a parking spot in front of the building, Y/N could feel her heart all the way in the souls of her feet. She had no idea why she was reacting this way. She had only known this man for, what, twenty minutes? And their one striking conversation had been about whether or not he was a stalker. She had no right to get this attached to him.

“You know,” he started. “I could give you a tour of the city if you’d like. You know, since you’re new and all.” He flashed her a million-dollar smile as he handed her the two pieces of luggage from the trunk.

“I think I would really enjoy that, Joe.” Her heart was beating so fast it could have jumped right out of her chest and made it back to her parents’ house before she was able to get inside her new apartment.

“Great,” he said. He opened up the passenger side of the cab so that he could reach into the glove box. He pulled a pen out of his shirt pocket and began scribbling on the blank side of the receipt he had just pulled out of the compartment before handing the small piece of paper to her. In very messy handwriting, she noticed he had written Joe (not a stalker, he promises) followed by a phone number and a smiley face below all of it.

“I’ll make sure to call you, Not-a-stalker-Joe.” Y/N’s face had heated up an extreme amount and she hoped that Joe wouldn’t think anything of it.

A few days passed before Y/N worked up the courage to actually call Joe. Maybe it was the fact that it was eleven o’clock at night. She always had been braver when she was tired. Maybe it was the fact that she hadn’t been able to get the cab driver out of her mind since he dropped her off at her place. Especially at night when she was alone with her thoughts. He got her head spinning and her heart racing without even being in the same room as her. She could only imagine what it would be like when she took him up on that tour offer.

“Hi, is this Joe?” she asked as politely as she could. She regretted calling the second he picked up.

“Depends…” his voice was raspier than it had been a few days ago. There was a possibility that Y/N had woken him up. “Who is this?”

“Y/N,” she said. Her nerves were skyrocketing at this point. The past week or so had not been easy on her heart.

“Who’s the stalker now?” he chuckled lightly into the phone. She heard rustling from the other side and assumed he was moving around on his bed. Having the phone by the bed seemed like a smart idea to her and she wondered why she hadn’t thought of moving hers there.

“You gave me your number, you know,” she said, twirling the cord around her finger.

“For a tour of the city. Not a late night rendezvous,” he said.

“I’m sorry. I can call again in the morning.” Her face was burning with embarrassment; the pressure managed to trail all the way down her spine, it seemed.

“No, doll, don’t worry about it. It had been a pretty boring night anyway,” Joe sighed. Y/N could imagine him running his hand through his hair. Then the image of running her hands through his hair popped into her mind.

“So, about that tour?” she asked. She really hoped she wasn’t being too forward. He was the one that offered.

“You up for it? Tomorrow’s my off day so you called just in time,” he said.

Y/N was barely able to sleep an hour that night. She didn’t know if it was the nerves (it was) or if it was the seemingly endless downpour of rain outside. After her fifth wake up, she decided trying to sleep was a lost cause. She slipped out of bed and out of her bedroom into the open concept of the rest of her apartment. The clock on the wall beside her stove let her know that it was edging on 4:15. Somehow, she managed to turn on her coffee pot and actually make herself some in her zombie-like state. She felt the liquid warm her right down to the tips of her toes.

Around 7am Y/N was beginning to regret skipping out on anymore sleep. Her eyes were droopy and she could barely keep them open long enough to read more than a paragraph on the morning paper. She figured this would be as good a time as any to start getting ready. She probably should’ve worked out a better plan with Joe before hanging up last night; she had zero percent of a clue as to when he would be picking her up that morning.

Y/N’s shower lasted longer than usual due to her starting the whole ordeal by just standing under the hot water with her eyes closed for about ten minutes. She’d even let her mind wander to thinking about Joe being in said shower with her but quickly shook the thought away as she began applying her coconut scented body wash. By the time she was finished, the originally scalding water was beginning to grow cold and Y/N was practically shivering trying to push the hot-water knob past its limit.

She decided to fix herself a third cup of coffee after getting dressed to aid her in doing her makeup in a way that wouldn’t make her look like a raccoon. A few years ago she had tried to do a Smokey eye after about three hours of sleep and she was not going for a recreation of that this morning.

9am was beginning to roll around when she heard a knock on her door.

“Morning, doll,” Joe said when she opened the door. He had his hair slicked back and a collared shirt left unbuttoned about three buttons.

“How’d you know which apartment was mine?” She chuckled lightly. She could have sworn he hadn’t followed her up to her door the previous day but she could’ve been wrong.

“I watched from my car to make sure you got in okay. I was really hoping I remembered which door it was and didn’t go knocking on some old lady’s door,” he said and ran one of his hands through the gelled hair. Y/n glanced over the balcony of the complex to see the bright yellow taxi parked in the exact spot it was in yesterday.

“That was very sweet of you, Joe,” both of them had a slight red tint to their faces as they made their way down the stairs and to the taxi. He opened the door for her before jogging around the front of the car to get in himself.

“The best tour of your life begins now,” he said before starting the car up.

“So how old did you say you were?” Joe asked after about twenty minutes of awkward silence.

“18. You?” Y/N said. She really hoped he wasn’t 37 or something or this whole ordeal would have gotten really awkward really fast.

“21,” he said and turned down the radio knob ever so slightly. She couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how nice his fingers looked. “Now our first stop…”

It had been months since Y/N had first met Joe but she swore it felt like the pair had known each other forever. She felt more comfortable around him than anyone else she had ever met. They went on one or two more dates after their tour before Joe asked her to be his girlfriend. Everything between them was moving incredibly fast for Y/N’s usual tastes but she couldn’t be happier at the given moment. Joe made her feel alive. Her fingertips burned with every touch and her insides were practically doing backflips any time he complimented her or so much as held eye contact with her.

“Good morning doll face,” Joe said with his raspy morning voice that Y/N adored more than anything. She groaned with displeasure at being roused from her sleep but she gave him a soft smile when she finally opened her eyes. Joe was running his fingertips lightly across Y/N’s bare back as the thin sheets of his bed covered their lower halves. Her hand moved from being placed at the top of his abdomen to gently stroking his jaw. There was the faintest of stubble growing in and she would never tell him how much she really loved it.

“Morning, handsome,” she mumbled into his chest. She began trailing kisses from his chest up to his collarbone and back down again. Joe used his free hand to stop her antics and pull her face up to kiss his lips this time. In a few short moments, Joe was able to flip the pair of them to where he was resting over Y/N with one of his hands beside Y/N’s shoulder to support his weight and the other securely positioned on her jaw.

“That was a very good way to wake up,” she said and ran her thumb across his slightly swollen lips. He let out a soft laugh before poking her in the side and laying down on the bed beside her.

“I think I’m going to go get a shower. Care to join me?” He asked with a smirk. They had showered together before but it had never ended with them cleaner than when they entered.

“Not today, baby,” she said, which earned a very over exaggerated groan from Joe as he forced himself out of bed and into the connected bathroom.

She, too, pulled herself out of the bed and grabbed Joe’s button up off of the floor and buttoned it up just enough to cover all the necessities. She heard the creak of the hot water knob as she exited the bedroom to make herself some much needed coffee. Neither had gotten the recommended 8 hours of sleep and she was wondering how Joe was able to be so animated about everything already.

Their one-year anniversary came around faster than anything that Y/N had ever experienced. One day she was living in her parents home desperate to graduate from high school and now she was living in her boyfriend’s apartment (unbeknownst to her parents) and celebrating a whole year of dating. And it had been the most magical year of Y/N’s life.

“More wine?” Joe asked her as he pulled himself off of the couch. Y/N whined slightly as her side was hit with a gust of cold wind.

“Yes, please,” she said and handed up her empty wine glass.

“You got it, doll,” he sent her a wink and went into the kitchen to fill both their glasses. Y/N couldn’t help but watch him the whole time. She never thought that she’d be this head over heels for a man— especially this far along in a relationship. Before Joe, the longest she’d had a boyfriend had been about two months and they barely even talked during that time.

Joe glanced over at her from the kitchen just barely making eye contact with her before Y/N shifted her gaze to the record player in the corner of the room near the small television. It had been playing static for about an hour now but the both of them were too comfortable to care enough about flipping it.

“I love you, Joe,” Y/N said after a few more moments of silence. There was a loud crash in the kitchen that caused her to surge up from her seat and rush over. Before she was able to bend down to clean up any of the broken glass, though, Joe pulled her in by the hips to smash his lips against hers.

“Say it again,” he said when he pulled away with the biggest grin Y/N had ever seen.

“I love you, Joe.”

“I love you, Y/N/N. So much,” he pulled her in for another kiss, sidestepping around the broken wine glass to set her on the kitchen counter and placing himself between her thighs. His hands trailed from her hips to rest on the sides of her knees.

Almost four years had passed since then. Joe was set to leave for boot camp this afternoon and Y/N was barely functioning at this point. He had become such an integral part of her life since she arrived in San Francisco. She had no idea what she would do if he didn’t come back to her. Hell, she barely had a clue what she would do if he did come back to her. She knew nothing would be the same after all of this.

“I’ll write to you whenever I get the chance, baby doll. I promise,” he mumbled into her hair. Y/N had not left his side once in the past week and she didn’t plan on leaving it until he was on that train.

“I’m going to miss you so much, Joey,” she said.

“I know. I’m gonna miss you too.”

“I’ve loved you since I was 18 years old, Joe. I’m 22 now and somehow I love you more and more each day. Promise me you’ll come home to me,” she said. There were tears beginning to leak out of the corners of her eyes. He wiped one away with the pad of his thumb.

“I promise to try as hard as I can to come home to you, baby doll,” he said and pressed another kiss to her hair.

#joe liebgott #joseph liebgott #joe liebgott imagine #joe liebgott x reader #joseph liebgott imagine #joseph liebgott x reader #band of brothers #band of brothers imagine #band of brothers x reader #bob #hbowar #hbowar imagine #hbowar x reader

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sadaboutniall · 5 years ago

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something about you;

introduction | masterlist | tag | wattpad

One. September, 2000.

The first time Niall falls in love, he’s 7 years old.

His mam keeps telling him it’s a big day—she called twice, last night, to say she’s sorry she couldn’t be there to take him to his first day of First Class—but Niall doesn’t feel excited, or different, or special, like he thinks he’s supposed to on his very first day of Big Kid School.

Instead, he feels a knot in his tummy, the way he feels sometimes when he knows he’s done something wrong and is going to have to face his da or Greg later. Like that time he kicked his football through the back window of the house and glass went everywhere, or the time he threw a rock at Greg for a laugh and his nose started bleeding.

He doesn’t like to talk about that knotty feeling—he’s never heard anyone else say they feel that way, and sometimes, when it’s dark out and he can’t fall asleep and untangle what’s happening in his belly, Niall feels like there might be something wrong with him, or his stomach, or the rest of his body. Because sometimes, like right now, he gets that knotty feeling everywhere: his tummy, but also in his throat, his chest, his brain, and his legs feel like he can’t stop moving them, either.

He thinks he might feel better if Mully was in his class with him—in Junior and Senior Infants he and Mully were in the same class, and Niall didn’t feel all knotty then. But this is a new school and Mully’s classroom is down the corridor and around the corner to the left—85 steps away, Niall counted—and Niall won’t be able to see him until the day is over.

His teacher is named Mrs. O’Callahagn and Niall thinks she’s nice. She has hair like his mam’s, which makes him feel better, and she put his seat at the same table as Colm McAnderson, who Niall plays football with sometimes. Colm is funny and really good at maths, and Niall feels a lot less knotty by the middle of the day.

When Mrs. O’Callahagn says they can eat lunch on the picnic tables by the pitch, Colm takes off running faster than Niall has ever seen him. It’s still a little warm out for September and Colm shouts from his cubby that he’s going to beat everyone else there and save them a table in the sun. By the time Niall makes it to his own cubby to fish out his lunch, Colm is already waving from his sun-soaked spot by the tables, calling out for Niall to hurry up.

And he tries to, he really does. But Niall’s got too much to carry—Da forgot to buy brown paper bags and Niall hadn’t had anything to pack his lunch in this morning so he’s cradling it all in his arms: a sandwich, a packet of crisps, an apple, a bottle of Snapple. It’s awkward to carry and the ground is a little mushy from the rain this morning and Niall is rushing so it shouldn’t surprise him, really, when he trips and falls and lands on his knees in the mud, his lunch scattered all around him, the knees of his brand new uniform trousers soaked through with muck and soggy ground.

For a moment Niall stills, expecting the laughter to come. But no one’s looking—they’re all too distracted by the sunny day and the freedom of being outdoors after what felt like a million years of working out maths equations. Instead, Niall’s alone with the mess he’s made and the sting in his palms from hitting the ground and all he can think about is how he knows these trousers were so expensive, and how angry Da is going to be about having to clean them.

He takes his time standing back up. His knee hurts a little and he feels kind of shaky from how hard he hit the ground. He’s taking a few deep breaths, trying to get himself together, when he hears a soft voice behind him. She sounds a little worried.

‘Are you alright?’

Despite his initial fear that everyone would laugh at him for falling over, something in this voice makes Niall feel less scared. He turns around slowly, gentle on his knee, and there’s a girl there.

She’s wearing a bright blue jacket over her school uniform even though it’s not that cold out, and one of her over the knee socks has slouched down a little, so it only comes up to the middle of her shin. It takes him a second to realize that she’s in his class: she sits on the other side of the room but he recognizes her voice now. She’d known the capital city of Poland, and her name is Isla Boyne.

‘I’m okay,’ Niall says, and it’s only half a lie. He brushes his hands over his thighs, ignoring the sting. ‘Just slipped.’

‘Your lunch,’ says Isla, looking down at his apple, coated in mud. ‘You can’t eat that.’

Niall shrugs. He hadn’t gotten there yet, was too busy worrying about how Da would afford to buy him a new pair of trousers.

Without ceremony, Isla reaches into her lunch bag and pulls out her sandwich. It’s cut in half and she pulls one of those halves out of the plastic bag, holding it out toward Niall. ‘Here, have that. You’re not allergic to peanut butter, are you?’

‘No,’ Niall reaches his hand out, ‘but you don’t have to give me your sandwich.’

‘S’alright,’ she shrugs. ‘Sharing is the nice thing to do, that’s what my mammy always tells me. Anyway, I don’t really like peanut butter but my mammy always makes it because she says it’s healthier than a ham sandwich, which is my favorite. I get ham on Fridays, but I won’t share that with you, so don’t fall again.’

‘I—’ Niall stumbles a little over his words. His tummy is doing something weird now: not knotty like earlier, but bouncy, floaty, a little tickly. He’s smiling, and Isla is walking away and he can smell her hair as she walks past him, like strawberries and coconut and peanut butter from the sandwich and he just barely manages to get out a ‘Thank you!’ before she runs off to her friends, only looking back over her shoulder to wave gently.

When Niall gets to the table and Colm asks where his lunch is, Niall says he finished it on his walk over. Colm offers him a few crisps and he takes them gratefully, the taste of peanut butter still lingering in his mouth.

#one direction #1dff #one direction fan fiction #niall horan #niall horan fic #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan imagine #niall #something about you #okay!!#chapter one!!#I hope people like it aaaaaah wow

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moonydaydreams · 5 years ago

Text

𝐣𝐮𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮

Fandom: It Lives In the Woods

Pairing: MC x Noah, MC x Connor (past)

Words: 7.363 (holy cow)

Summary: Lightning never strikes the same place twice, but a second chance does. Even for someone like Noah Marshall.

Warnings: SMUT SMUT SMUT, angst 101 and swearing for dummies

Author’s note: This is my first Choices story and, holy cannoli, this is longer than I intended to be. But nonetheless, this an AU of what could have been had neither Noah or MC sacrificed themselves to take Jane’s place (THIS IS, IN ANOTHER WORD, A FORM OF DENIAL, Y'ALL. CAUSE THAT ENDING WRECKED ME) and Noah fled from Westchester. I’m sorry if the characters seem OOC or the story feels meh. So if you’re digging it or simply detest it, let me know, yeah? thanks!

———————————————————————————–

In a city where the subway stations smell like after-shave and peanut butter and jelly breath smelling college students at nine in the morning, and half of the street names that he still can’t recall to this day, a young man in a beanie, who couldn’t have been more than twenty or twenty-one enters a small 24/7 convenience store with his hands thrust deep inside his coat pockets.

A burly, beer-swilling, 6 feet of a man behind the cashier, elbow-deep in the football magazine in his last season’s Real Madrid jersey, glances up from his reading upon his arrival. His eyebrows narrow.

“Never seen you visiting this late,” Romero comments dryly over the trip-hop music that is playing over the speakers and flicked his eyes back to the magazine. “Did you accidentally shoot your dealer or some shit?“

Romero’s attempt on making small talks with him, albeit as condescending as it sounds, does not fall on deaf ears. But it’s cold outside and he’s hungry and broke, he simply doesn’t have the will to entertain him.

“Shut up. I’m hungry,” replies the young man, stopping by the instant food section. His eyes finding the many varieties of flavors and brands and feels his stomach sick at the amount of artificial food he’s been consuming over the years. It’s like being eight all over again.

“Well, knock yourself out. We just stocked up those crazy spicy Korean ramen you kids can’t seem to stop feeding.” Romero’s face breaks into a mocking grin. “Can’t wait to see you all die from cancer.”

“Instant noodles don’t directly cause cancer on its own, actually.”

Romero burst into laughter. “And how the fuck does a two-bit junkie like you know that, Malcolm?”

The boy’s face involuntarily twitches.

And it isn’t because of how alien the sound when someone addresses him with his fake name or how Romero somehow thinks he has his character all figured out. The thing about living in incognito for years, he’s already become accustomed to those; to prejudices and living up to the persona that people design for him just to inflate their egos and ward them off of his tail in the process. No one wants to affiliate themselves with “the junkie” or “the hot-headed mechanic with suicidal tendencies” and he is more than fine with his solitary.

No. It is the nature of the question that throws him off guard and how his mind all too soon, against his better wishes, refers to her.

Suddenly, he is Noah again. Thirteen years ago at the age of eight, looking out of the window with Jane as they watched a girl about their age in a short tutu dress and combat boots climbing up the oak tree in their backyard to save a distressed kitten.

Their parents saw this, did a double-take, went hysterical and called her parents. He later learned her name was Liz and that she’d just moved into the neighborhood a week ago.

Then he sees Liz again, now a few months after their first encounter, running off to the forest with Jane’s arm linked with hers. He remembers her messy braided hair and freckles multiplied by the sun as they led Noah and the rest of their friends to abandoned ruins they’d somehow stumbled on a week ago.

His memory of her somehow jumps forward. Now, he sees her in a different light, a different vignette. It is from three years ago this time and she was no longer the Liz all knees, elbows and mud on her shoes young girl from his childhood. She was Liz, on the edge of seventeen, her hair nine shades lighter than when she was a kid (she also had bangs now) with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other, but still the same dark-eyed sprite that made his cold, dead heart skip a beat whenever she looked at his way and smiled that smile of hers; the kind that radiated her cheeks and lit up her eyes.

The same light that he watched slowly waning from her eyes when she discovered his ulterior plan.

His heart feels like shattering into smithereens all over again. He doesn’t realize he’s been squeezing on the noodle packet too tight until he hears the contents shatter in his hand.

“A friend told me,” Noah finds himself saying even before his brain can halt it. Staring blankly at the packet, his mouth dropping into a frown.

He can feel Romero’s gaze on him, curious and confused. Shifting between the packet in his hand and his glazed-over expression. Noah, realizing he’s just projected his emotion right out in the open, huffs and throws the squeezed noodle packet into his shopping basket.

Romero clears his throat. “Sounds like quite a friend.”

Noah pretends as if the jig isn’t exactly up and decides to actively ignore the older man. He gets the rest of his needs, holding the last of his composure against slipping and brings his groceries to the cashier, looking down at his feet whenever Romero glances at him in genuine concern.

“Catch ya later, Malcolm,” Romero says as he hands Noah the change. “And, uh… stay safe, you hear me?”

Noah, in return, only nods his thanks, probably a little too curt according to the polite society and leaves.

Outside, thunder begins to roll overhead. Noah eyes the sky nervously. It’s going to rain soon. And hard judging from the way the clouds are moving across the black midnight sky.

Noah rifles for his cigarette pack from his pockets, lights one and begins making his way back to his hellhole of an apartment. Treading slowly through the deserted streets, steering clear from alley-ways and suspicious characters until he can see the window of his apartment.

Then, Noah’s feet skid to a hard stop.

His jaw drops, his cigarette falling unheeded to the ground.

Sitting on the front steps of his apartment building is Liz, swathed in an oversized overcoat, her head leaning onto the railings, she seems to be sleeping.

What in the sweet fuck?

For a good minute, Noah stands stock-still. He simply gazes at his former best friend, nonplussed and borderline panicking. A migraine begins to form in his head. He gazes over his shoulder, watching and waiting for anyone to jump at him from the alley or anything, because there is no way in hell this is not a trap. This can’t be.

He waits and waits, but no one comes out. Confused, Noah looks at her again, his expression inscrutable. If this is not a trap, then this must be a cruel dream the universe pulls on him for all the wrongdoings he has committed in his life. That, or Noah must have tragically died on his way back home and ascended to heaven.

But then, if this is heaven, why is he here?

Eventually, Noah kneels before her. He reaches his hand out to her, hesitating mid-move and touches her shoulder.

“Liz?” he gives her shoulder a gentle shake. “Liz, wake up.”

She does. Slowly, her eyes flutter open, bleary and brown, and meets his gaze for the first time in three years. Noah feels like his breath stuck in his throat.

“Noah?” Liz blinks sleepily, twice, then yawns into the back of her hand. “What time is it?”

He glances at his phone. “A quarter past two.”

Liz’s brows furrow. “Huh. What were you doing out so late?”

“Had to do a supply run.” Noah gestures to the shopping bag in his hand. Then, “Liz, what are you doing here?” he asks, his voice a broken whisper.

Liz doesn’t answer his question, merely wraps her arms around herself, attempting to keep warm and sighs tiredly.

“Noah, can we go inside?” she pleas, instead. Desperation fuelling her voice. “I’m tired and cold and I…” she trails off.

Consideration flashes in Noah’s eyes for a moment. The logical part of his head insists for him to take her to the nearest train station and send her off back to Westchester. It’s the right thing to do. Considering that he’s been laying low for years now, the last thing he needs to add to his ongoing headache is for the police to suspect that she’s an accomplice.

But he’s never been the wiser one.

So, he takes her gloved hand and helps her to stand and, after giving one last look at their surroundings, of course, ushers her inside the apartment building.

Neither says anything as they make their way to the staircase, as they venture through the grimy hallway where the dim and shadowed lights overhead following their every step like vultures and past the occupied doors where a loud, sexual moan comes from behind one of them.

She doesn’t make any comment about the awful state of the place he lives in, while he simply doesn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed because everything happens so sudden, Noah himself is still second-guessing if any of this is real.

Finally, they stop by his door. Noah produces the key from his wallet when he hesitates, remembering the state of the room the last time he left it.

“A bit of warning, though…” He rubs his neck, embarrassed. “it’s pretty messy inside.”

“It’s fine.”

Noah turns the key and eases the door open.

The rain has started to pour. Noah turns the side lamp on and takes off his coat, his groceries on top of the kitchen counter. He watches as Liz, as if in a daze, tosses her coat and gloves to his bed and walks towards the direction of the window. A hand against the windowpane, the flare of the street lamp outside illuminating her features in the dimness, she silently watches as the rain falls on the pavement. Lost somewhere in the tangled cobwebs of her thoughts.

And it occurs to Noah that she is no longer Liz, on the edge of seventeen with a barbed wire bat in her left hand, and a fire axe in the other. She is Liz, older, with circles under her eyes, the world on her shoulders and a few pounds lighter than he remembers, but still the same dark-eyed sprite and with the pale shades of haired girl that he yearns to wrap his arms around and tells her how sorry he is for all those years ago, for leaving without saying a proper goodbye and how all these years it is her that keeps him going through every day and drives him insane at the same time.

But he can only remain in his place and forces to quell his desire to do the aforementioned. Because Noah’s pretty sure that privilege is long gone the moment his betrayal came to light. Even to be standing in the very room with her is a crime, yet here they are.

Here she is.

“Liz?“

“Yeah?”

“Have you, uh,” his gaze finds the ramen packets, suddenly feeling inspired. “Have you eaten anything?”

She is silent for a while. “No.”

“I’m making ramen, you want some?”

“Okay.”

With that, Noah rolls up his sleeves, takes two eggs and a few vegetables from the fridge and begins to work. He ditches the salty packet of MSG and makes his own broth while at the same time, mincing the garlic and green onion and grating the ginger. By the time he sautées the aromatics, Liz makes a beeline from the window and hops onto the counter, watching him distractedly as he continues cooking.

She stays silent and so does he. Despite the lack of words, everything feels strangely… domestic? Under different circumstances, Noah can easily get used to this; him cooking for her, with her becoming his taste tester whenever he’s experimenting with new recipes he finds on the internet and simply impresses her on a daily basis. Yeah, he can definitely get used to that.

Ten minutes passed, Noah then moves the ‘upgraded ramen’ to the bowls and serves one to her. The taste will probably pale in comparison to the one that her mom used to make, yet it earns him her first smile of the night, albeit small and closed-mouthed, it’s still a smile nonetheless.

He grabs two cans of beer from the fridge and moves onto the couch with her. They finish their meal within minutes, still in silence. For a moment, the only sound that encompasses the room is the rain and his next-door neighbor who has the TV going in full-blast. That asshole.

Noah reaches out for a cigarette pack from the coffee table, dexterously flicks his wrist so a single one pops halfway out of the carton. He casts her a sidelong glance.

“Do you mind if I…?” he trails off, gesturing to the cigarette.

Liz’s stare zeroes on the cancer stick, scowling, as if she doesn’t approve of this vice of his, but shrugs nonetheless.

“So, how, uh…” Noah clears his throat, gathering his courage. How does he do this? How do you break the ice with your former best friend who you happen to have a crush on for more than a decade and almost murdered because your dead twin sister compelled you to do so without being awkward?

“How are you, by the way?“ he manages to ask behind a plume of smoke.

“I’m doing okay,” she says but in a tone when someone is obviously not okay.

“Just okay?”

“I…” she hesitates. “Yeah, just okay.” Liz lies and manages a weak smile. Noah decides not to press for more information. “Though I’ve been busy these days. I’m trying to finish my dissertation sometime around next year.”

"Already?” And she nods. Noah whistles, obviously impressed. "I’m guessing you did take the English major?”

Liz’s eyes widened slightly. “You remember."

"Yeah.” Noah looks down. Of course he remembers, not when it’s impossible to forget the very idea of Liz Mortimer. “And your old man doesn’t try to fight you for this?”

“Nope. After Ja–” she clamps her mouth shut. “I graduated, let’s just say he had a hard time saying no to me.” She chuckles, but just for a good three seconds and Noah doesn’t have to ask why to know the reason behind her father’s sudden change of heart.

“How about you?” she asks, then shakes her head. “I mean, how are you?” She amends.

Heaven knows I’m always miserable, Liz. But he doesn’t say that. “I’m okay, too, I guess."

"Just okay?” Liz parrots his own words at him and he smiles, the left side of his mouth higher than the right. They may still be painfully awkward to one another, but it feels so good to be talking with her again.

“Nothing new under the sun for me, but I’m thriving. And, um, how’s the others?” a.k.a the bunch of group of friends I hurt.

“They’re alright. Lily started her own video game called Pixie Moon, which I have no doubt will take the world by storm the way Candy Crush did; Ava is writing a book about witch trials; Stace is studying journalism and basically kicking ass; Dan is pursuing psychology; His majesty King Kang himself is playing for the Bighorns; and Lucas, as you can expect, is off to save our earth.”

Noah swallows the information one by one. His face an inscrutable blank. All of his friends somehow have found a place on this earth, they all have moved on except for him, again, who’s still scratching around in the same old hole; his future derived, his past an endless pitfall.

“And Connor?” he asks quietly, when in truth he doesn’t give two-shits about the man. But he knows she does, and Noah loves her too much to let his jealousy dictate his behavior.

Suddenly, her face falls. Teeth chewing nervously on her lower lip. “He's… fine. He’s probably at home now as we speak.“

“And now you’re a long way from home.”

“So are you.”

Noah shakes his head. “Westchester stopped being my home the moment I turned eight.” He sighs forlornly, looks the other way, hands fidgeting. Force of habit. “Liz, as much as I’m glad to see you, but why did you come here?”

“How long have you been staying here?” Liz evades his question as if he never asked it in the first place.

Noah raises an eyebrow, exhales, but decides to play along. “Since August. So that’s two months. Probably, the longest I have ever stayed in one place.”

“Where have you been all this time?”

“Well, there was Utah and Kansas. Then Minnesota for a couple of weeks, but I couldn’t stand the cold and the rest is history,” he keeps his answer as vague as possible, not when he still has no idea the nature of her visit. “Look, why are you here?”

But still, the girl dodges his question. “Why do you–”

Until his patience can’t simply take it anymore.

Noah is all but scoots over to her position until their knees are touching, the cigarette forgotten on the ashtray, and grips her arms firmly. His eyebrows knitted as he takes in her stunned face.

“Liz.” There is a twinge of anger, confusion and desperation in the way he says her name this time. “Why are you here? You know you can’t be here. Goddamn it! If the fucking cops find out that you’re here…” Once he realizes what he is doing, he withdraws his hands as if she’s fire and now he’s burning.

“They won’t. I can assure you that."

"You don’t know that.”

“I know what I’m doing, Noah. Trust me, I wouldn’t have come here if I knew it’s not safe,” Liz replies, her tone doesn’t leave any room for doubts and he knows there is no way to talk his way around it. Not to mention, he trusts her, if there is anyone who can sneak behind authority and get away with it, it has to be her.

Noah shrugs, agreeable, but he isn’t going to let her off so easily.

“How did you find me, anyway?” he questions, reaching for his cigarette and takes a deep, long drag just to spite his throat. He has a feeling he might be smoking his misery away all night by the time she’s left.

The blonde-haired girl shrugs and absentmindedly leans her back against the couch, one arm wraps around her midsection. “It wasn’t easy, actually. But I made some new friends in Pine Springs and one of them is acquainted with the newly-minted Police Chief. Pulled a few strings and here we are.”

“Pine Springs? What the heck were you doing there?”

“It's… a long story. But there were people there needing my help, and in exchange, they helped me track you down. An eye for an eye.”

Lightning suddenly jags across the night sky, briefly illuminating the room, pulling him out of his musings. She jumps at the sound, startled, and instinctively reaches for his hand. Noah freezes at the contact, forgetting how her skin feels like on his or a decent human contact in general. It’s been so long. And somehow he loses the ability to speak, to think.

He definitely doesn’t think when Noah moves his hand under hers, intertwining their fingers together.

Noah feels her head moving, her eyes darting from their joined hands and to his face that turns into a parade of expressions– misery, regret and melancholy. The holy trinity of feelings he’s been bearing for the past three years– for the past thirteen years of his life, actually– and feels her hand squeezing back his.

“Christ, I can’t believe you went all through that shit just to find me,” he croaks, all but on the verge of tears. “And I left you just like that even without saying sorry.”

“Noah…”

“No, let me say it, Liz. I need to say it.” His hands are trembling, his composure this close from crumbling. “What I did was unforgivable. And I know there is nothing in this world that could help me undo the damage I’ve done to you and how I’ll spend the rest of my day regretting it, but regardless, I’m sorry,” he sobs, his whole body is shaking by now.

“I’m so sorry for the nightmare I put you through. I was so blinded by my own volition and revenge for Jane’s death that I hurt you, all of you in the process without giving a single rat’s ass about it.” Noah pauses, wipes his tears with the back of his hand. “I’m a monster, Liz. A selfish, heartless, miserable monster. God, I should have died that night.”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” She plucks the cigarette from his other hand, discards it on her empty bowl and places her other hand on his shoulder. “Noah, look at me,” she says again, her voice like a caress. He looks up. “Don’t say that. You are not a monster. You’re just a byproduct of the pain from losing your sister, loneliness and bad parenting. That doesn’t make you a monster. That makes you human.”

“A normal human being wouldn’t lure his friends into abandoned ruins in the middle of a fucking forest where his sister died and put their lives hang in the balance.”

“No, they wouldn’t, but if there is anything Dan taught me is that people react to loss in different ways.”

Noah groans and pushing himself to his feet. “No, don’t try to find a way to justify this. Didn’t you forget, I could have killed you that night. You! The- the only one who gives a fuck whether I’m breathing or not.” The only one who matters. “If you hadn’t stopped her… God, I don’t even want to go there.“

She gets up from the couch as well. “I’m not justifying anything. Yes, what you did to us was… It was harrowing, it was despicable but I also knew the extent of your agony that drove you to do it. I understand… and like what I said that night in the cave; it’s not your fault. Not exclusively, at least. And I forgive you for it.”

“Liz–”

“No, listen to me, we all made mistake–”

He snorts. “Not on a grand scale like this, I bet.”

“Maybe not. But the fact that you give a shit and beat yourself up for years for what you did, that already speaks a lot,” she says. “You’ve tormented yourself enough. It’s not going to do you anything good. It’s not going to erase anything. What you need to do now is to close that book. Get a new one, write a new story, move on. I have forgiven you, I’m sure the others have forgotten about what happened until someone mentions it, it’s your turn now.”

Her words hit him like a piledriver and for the first time in probably like forever, he does feel slightly better. Even if only an infinitesimal amount and even he may won’t be forgiving himself anytime soon, but still, hearing those words coming from her mouth mean the whole world to him.

“Why did you really come here, Liz?” The question is a tad out of place, but it feels like their previous conversations were made entirely to build up for this.

Her frown melts away, replaced with somewhere between doubt and conflict. He holds her gaze for a minute, undeterred, then she turns her back on him to face the window once more. The suspense gnaws at him, yet still, he bides his time.

“I have something to tell you,” she finally says, keeping her voice low.

“What is it?” He replies rather impatiently. When she seems to be hesitating, he adds, “And don’t beat around the bush, Liz.”

A deep breath, foot taps, a hand clutching at the hem of a buttoned-up dress and another deep breath.

“Connor proposed to me.”

A beat. Then,

“Oh,” and it’s barely audible. And Noah feels like his heart has been torn from his chest, thrown into the ground, drags it through the mud then stomps on it for good measure. And that he feels worse and emptier than he was before she came here. “Congratulations.”

The words that come out of his mouth could have been his, because he can barely hear his own voice in this white noise. He always knew Connor and her were smitten with each other the moment she stepped into the hardware store for the first time, but Noah doesn’t expect it all would extend to marriage.

She looks over her shoulder, half-turned, one eye on him. “I wasn’t finished.”

Noah blinks at her, momentarily confused. “What?”

“I…” her voice wavers. When she turns to face him again, she is pinching the bridge of her nose. Her eyes scrunched up. “Ah, fuck this is never going to be easy. Long story short, I freaked out, made a scene at a restaurant, ended our three-year on-and-off relationship and went here.”

“Wait, what?”

Liz shrugs, guiltily, all Atlas-and-the-weight-of-the-world.

“Yeah,” she, much to his surprise (and concern), chokes a laughter, manic and loud. “Yeah, I did it. I fucked up the longest relationship I’ve ever had and broke my best friend’s brother’s heart because I wasn’t ready, because I’m an idiot.” When she does look at him, her eyes are bright. “Because I’m in love with someone else.”

For a brief, candid moment, Noah’s brows furrow as his mind goes to one of his former friends. Is it Dan? Ava? Or could it be Lucas? Because the last time he saw them together, they were pretty inseparable– although their relationship is strictly platonic as far as he’s concerned. Has that dynamic changed after he left?

Then Noah realizes her eyes are still on him– and quite expectantly, that is, and that’s not… no, that can’t be right, can it?

His demeanor shifts drastically as he stands there, stunned silence. Disarmed by her confession.

He tries to speak, but his jaw won’t shut back to its place; his brains short-circuiting.

“Yes, I have loved you ever since I’ve known you, Noah Marshall,” Liz mutters when he remains silent. He can tell this is something she’s been holding in for a long time. “Even though we hadn’t spoken to each other for years after Jane, there hadn’t been a day that I didn’t think of you. When we finally reconnected three years ago, I wanted to say all these things to you, but..” she smiles wistfully. “Well, shit happened.”

“Why?” Of all the people you could have fallen in love with, why me? What he means to ask.

“Because you understand me like no one else; because you climbed up to my window to bring me your homemade grilled cheese sandwich when I was grounded when we were 8; because you actually listened and showed me that my vulnerability doesn’t always have to be my weakness; because I love the way you wear your beanie like 24/7 and the way you shake my hair whenever I say something stupidly amusing to you. Because it’s you!”

“No.” It’s a denial, it’s an attempt to ward her off from someone like him. It’s a lie. “No, no, no, no, no, Liz, you can’t fall in love with someone who’s-who’s mentally unstable or tried to kill you in the past, that’s like…” he gesticulates wildly. “Crazy! You are crazy!”

“I’m sorry, are you any better?”

“Of course not! But to forgive me is one thing, Liz, to love me, that’s a whole different level of insanity.” Noah begins to pace agitatedly around the room back and forth. “Fuck. I can’t hear this. Not from you.”

“Why not?” He sees the hurt expression on her face. Then interrupts just as soon as he opens his mouth. “Noah, I’m not asking for your answer this instance–heck, I’m not even asking you to reciprocate my feelings, but please don’t invalidate my emotions. Not when I waited for years to say it to you.”

“But this fucking complicates everything!” Noah points out.

“Maybe. Maybe not, but you don’t know that,” she says resolutely, echoing his words from before.

Noah doesn’t say anything in return.

She steps closer and slowly raises her palm to cup his cheek, an attempt to calm the storm within him. His hand grasps her wrist before she can make contact.

“Noah–"

His breathing quickens. Noah swallows and shakes his head.

“Liz, we can’t do this. No matter…” he sighs, his eyes boring into hers. Here he is, again, dangling on the edge of damnation, of what’s right and wrong. It’s wrong, yet he knows that she knows, from the heat and electricity that dance between them, from the pressure of his fingers that tell different stories, that he, too, wants the same thing.

“No matter what, Noah?” She murmurs, staring up at him with hopeful eyes. She really wants him to say it, does she?

He extricates her hand from him, taking steps back, putting as much distance he can from her. “Forget it.”

“Look, Noah, if you feel what I think you’re feeling, then what is it that you’re afraid of?"

Noah whirls around to face her again. "Everything! Can’t you see that if we do this, the world will turn against us?"

“Since when do you care about other people’s opinions?”

“I wasn’t worrying about me.”

"Well, I don’t give a fuck what others or this thrice-damned world thinks!” she exclaims mulishly. “After all we’ve been through, is it so wrong to be selfish, to follow your own heart just once– just once? Is it– don’t you care about what you want?”

“I want-” Noah stops. His hands tugging at his red beanie cap. “Never mind what I want.”

Her voice is quieter now. “What do you want, Noah?”

For an interminable moment, heavy with the promise of both release and regret, he only stares at her. Contemplating his options.

Perhaps loving her shouldn’t be the sin he thought it was, especially when she wants the same thing in return. Although he’s more than aware that he’s the last person in this world who deserves her affection, but deep down, Noah knows that he’ll never forgive himself if he didn’t run the risk now and spent the rest of his life wondering what it felt like instead.

“You.” Always you.

She holds his gaze. “Then have me.”

And as if an unknown force was taking over his body, Noah crosses the distance between them, his free hands cradling her face, drawing her close and kisses her.

It’s like a dam breaking, everything floods out. They do not kiss gently, desperation orchestrating their every move that the world around him grows distant and dim. Twelve years of pining for each other, of secretive glances, of murder attempt and mutual misery and it all leads them to this. His thumb skimming the curve of her throat and feels her pulse leaps. He stops. Worrying if he’s crossed the line.

But Liz grabs the front of his clothes, pulling him even closer– as if they aren’t close enough– and kisses him back with a matching fervor. Her body pressed against his, warm and unfamiliarly familiar, and Noah swears his heart skips when she emits a quiet desperate noise that he happily swallows.

Suddenly, Noah pulls back. “Liz, I’m sorr–” he says breathlessly.

“No, don’t you dare apologize,” she says firmly, her lips still tinged pink from their kiss. “I… I started this.” Her tongue darted out over her lips. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I want this.” Noah’s hands dropped to her waist, his cheeks burned. He’s inexperienced, yes, and it shows, yes, but this is Liz. The last thing she does is to laugh at his face about it. “You?”

“You have no idea.”

His cheeks grow redder. “I’m, uh… now what?"

"I think,” she leans in, tiptoeing, her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and playfully says, “I want you to kiss me again.”

Noah grins, more relaxed now knowing he has her consent. “I think I can provide that.”

He let her set the pace this time. Kissing him softly and sweetly, but as equally mind-blowing as the first time before the next thing he knows, they are kissing senselessly once more; the next thing he knows, she swipes her tongue on his lower lip. Drawing a surprised groan from him. His lips instinctively open up to her ministrations and he is rendered weak when Noah feels her warm tongue delves into his mouth. He tries to follow her example, but can hardly navigate through his own mind every time.

He can feel her fingers toying and tugging his beanie off, her nails grazing his scalp and his desire rocketed. And this time, Noah isn’t afraid to act, as his hands on her waist slowly glide upward; from her hips to her ribs, stopping just under her breasts which results in Liz’s breath to hitch in his mouth. His mouth travels down her jaw, the length of her neck, her collarbone.

When he finds himself on the bed, on his back, and Noah has absolutely zero clue how or when he got that way.

He sits up. Without thinking, grabs her hips to pull her onto his lap, hands rough, settling her against him as he tips her head upward and continues his onslaught on her neck. Her hands on his shoulders, coming up to the strands of his hair. Encouraging him, guiding him lower and lower until his mouth reaches her clothed breast.

“Oh my god.” Liz’s eyes closed in pure bliss, caught up in the sensation, and ground her hips against him and, fucking hell, the friction feels so good and erotic and sets his entire being alight that Noah isn’t fast enough to stop the low, rumbling moan that comes from his mouth.

“Fuck,” Noah swears and rolls his hips in response. At this rate, even if he wants to, he can’t hide the evidence of his physical desire, growing hard against her, making her produce these small high-pitched gasps every time his bulge brushes her just right, her pupils blown to hell and fucking fuck.

He is dry humping Liz. Liz. His sister’s best friend. His Achilles’ fricking heel. Good fuck, if Jane was still alive, what would she say about this?

“Noah?” She whispers.

He doesn’t realize he’s been lost in his own thoughts. “Sorry.” Noah mentally clears his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to space out on you back there.”

She stares at him, seemingly unconvinced. “Did I go too far?"

"What? No, no, you are incredible. Don’t worry.” To prove his point, he gives her thigh a distracting squeeze. “Liz, what if I say I want more? What if I say that I want you?”

Liz is quiet for a while. “Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I know the last time we met I said I wasn’t ready for dating and stuff, but it’s you. And if you’re up for it, I’m game, but if you–” Liz chuckles at his stammering. Whispering “You’re fucking adorable” as Noah groans and hides his face on the crook of her neck. “Liz, you’re fucking driving me out of my mind here.”

“Well, I’m game.” Liz leans in and kisses his temple. Noah can practically hear her smile from here. “You know, for someone who seemed adamant on pushing me away, you’re awfully eager.”

He grins, running his finger down her spine until every hair in her body stood up. “Keep teasing me, and you’ll regret it, Mortimer.”

“Bite me, Marshall.”

Noah does bite, literally, on that delicious spot under her ear before flipping her onto her back on the bed, making her giggle like a drunken schoolgirl; making her dress hike up to her thigh, just enough for him to see her underwear. He settles himself atop her, right between her legs. His hips and an unmistakable hardness press firmly against her soft thighs.

This is it, then. The wheels are in motion now and Noah can scarcely believe this is happening.

She props up on her elbows and begins undoing the buttons of her dress with great speed, eyes never leaving his until she pulls him for another searing kiss. Then Liz raises her legs, wrapping them around his waist and rolls her hips once more.

She moans softly, as Noah’s mouth trails wet kisses down her throat, nipping and sucking as he goes, until it finds its way to her nipple. He bucks up into her, growling, as he takes her other nipple in his mouth. His shaky hand makes to drop her legs away from his waist, yanks the hem of her dress upward and dips between her legs, slipping past the waistband of her underwear to touch her that she jolts, gasping and moaning loudly altogether.

Liz writhes, her hands clutching onto his sweatshirt like a lifeline, head tilted back as her hips involuntarily move against his hand, desperate for relief. Noah inserts two fingers, watching with heated gaze for her reaction as he pumps in and out, long and slow, short and fast. Pushes deeper, crooks his fingers a little. The rough pad of his thumb rubbing her clit in fast circles until her moan grows increasingly loud and she comes hard, shattering into Noah’s fingers.

When it’s over, Liz is a panting, limp noodle. She lays there, properly spent, smiling contently at the ceiling with heavy, bedroom eyes. Noah hovers above her, kissing her nose with a newfound satisfaction as he watches her trying to even her erratic breaths.

“Whoa.” She breathes out. “I guess I should have known those hands weren’t made only for kitchen knives.” And lazily wraps her arms around his neck. “Jesus, I’m wasted.”

His teeth gently nibbling her earlobe, his hand teasing her nipple again. “I’m nowhere near done with you.” Fingers trailing down to her warm, still over-sensitive slit again that Liz shudders like a flower. “Not even close.”

“I can’t–” And Noah freezes, thinking if he’s gone too far. “No more foreplay. Fuck me, Noah. Now. Please, I want you.”

In an uncontrolled frenzy, Noah pulls away from her, removes his sweatshirt while Liz assists with the buttons of his shirt. He works on his belt, freeing his member from the tight confines of his jeans and pulls her panties over her knees. Not bothering with the rest of her dress.

They kiss again as he repositions himself above her. Liz’s hand reaches down to grab him, guides the head toward her entrance, her legs once again settling around his waist.

In his head, Noah mentally prepares himself, counts to five, then slides his girth into her. The two groan in unison at the joining.

“Jesus fuck.” Noah’s head flops forward, jaw clenching. He is inside her, and it feels a dizzying kind of spectacular. “Fuck, Liz, you feel so good.”

Below him, a crackling gasp escapes her lips, her mouth drops into a perfect circle as her head falls back to the bed and looking oh so beautiful. Noah begins to rock his hips into her, the strands of his brown hair brushing against her damp forehead, the parts of his brain that enable him to think slowly shut down. His hand wanders to touch every part of her body.

Everything is on fire. Everything feels so fucking good.

“Look at me.” She does, through lidded eyes, lashes heavy with arousal. “Say my name.” Noah never really thought he would be this vocal in bed, but there’s just something about Liz that brings this side of him. “Say it, Liz.”

“Noah,” Liz moans his name, clinging to him like mad, nails raking his back. “Noah, shit. Faster.”

Noah wordlessly obliges, liking the way she thrashes underneath him. Her breaths coming faster, higher so he moves even faster, pounding into her with reckless abandon just to show her how much strength he has. He finds himself growling rather animalistic against her skin, biting her shoulder. Feeling himself drawing closer and closer to the edge. He isn’t going to last any longer.

He puts a hand between them to rub her clit and Liz’s eyes roll back.

“Ooohh, god. N-noah!” she cries out, her words quickly morphed into a desperate wail. "Don’t stop, don’t stop, oh, please!”

Liz is a blubbering mess, screaming against the pillow. It is too much. The combination of his cock fucking her mercilessly and the friction his fingers provided on her sensitive spot is enough to make the girl convulse pathetically on the bed.

When she comes, he follows not long after. Going rigid and groaning gutturally in her ear, emptying himself inside her.

When the ripples have passed, Noah collapses on top of her. Both panting and sweating from… whatever is it that just happened between them. Liz cradles him against her breasts, peppering tired kisses to his hair that is now sticking out wildly in every direction, locking him in her embrace, their left hands intertwining.

They stay like that for a few minutes, in a very much comfortable silence since she first set her foot here before Noah rolls to the side on the bed.

“Holy shit, we just had sex,” he says when he’s regained the power to speak again.

Liz chuckles and turns to face his side, sticking one of her legs between his while he pulls the covers over their forms. “Yep. Though, honestly, I never would have thought we’d end up having sex when I came here tonight.”

“Liz, I didn’t even know you’d be coming over. I can safely say tonight has been one hell of a surprise after another.”

She doesn’t say anything. At least not for a while.

“I hope you know I meant every word that I say to you,” she says kindly. “You’re not the villain in the story, but neither you are the hero. You are human, with your flaws and all, and I love you despite all of it.”

“Except you. You are an angel, Liz.”

“Noah, I basically turned down Connor’s marriage proposal, broke up with him and went straight into your arms in a matter of days.” She sighs guiltily. “No, we all just wear our demons differently.”

“Maybe. But you said it yourself, we are all just humans with our flaws and all. But you,” Noah turns and cups her cheeks in his hands. “you will always be an angel in my book. You saved me, Liz. When the whole world raised their torches and forks on me, you freaking saved me where you could have fed me to the mob. You’re the reason why I’m still here today and I love you for it, you hear me?” He pulls her into his arms when a tear starts to fall from her eye.

“I’m so in love with you, Elizabeth Mortimer. Always have and always will.” He kisses her cheek. “You’re the kindest, most beautiful, the brightest human being I’ve ever known. I’m the luckiest person to have you be in love with me and if you’re up for it, I want to build a world around you.” He adds, “Instant noodles included.”

Liz laughs, still teary-eyed, shoves him playfully on the shoulder, feigning a glare. “You jerk. Always have the flair to ruin a moment.”

Noah chuckles. “Technically, you love instant noodles, so it’s only right, don’t you think?” She shoves him again. “And I’m your jerk now.”

“My jerk.” Yet she says it the same way someone says ‘my love’. “I love you too, Noah Marshall. And I want to build that world together with you.”

Noah smiles. Because he loves her and because for the first time in forever, his life makes fucking sense.

Yes, he doesn’t know whether their relationship will last or will it crash and burn in the future, but at this exact moment, he’s happy and it seems that she does too. And that is all that matters now.

And if there is one thing that he’s sure of is that he knows that he doesn’t ever want to let this go. Not in a million years.

#playchoices #it lives in the woods #it lives anthology #it lives choices #noah marshall #noah x mc #choices #choices stories you play #choices fanfiction #choices it lives in the woods #ilitw #ilitw mc #pixelberry #choices ilitw #my writing ye #mine

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littlemissnellie · 5 years ago

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and finally for the residents of sulani we have a household of my own creation, which i very creatively named: sulani friends.

sulani may be considered paradise by most, but noelani and naia know that it’s not exempt from tragedies of its own. losing their parents was not something they had expected to have to cope with at such a young age, but at least they both knew that they still had each other. the pair grew incredibly close as they grieved and realised that they were now completely alone in the big wide world - but noelani felt the blow even harder when she came to terms with how much she needed to grow up now that her little sister was depending on her. it was really hard at first, and they still have their bad days every now and then, but they eventually learned to muddle through. noelani picked up odd jobs at every opportunity possible to bring in a little more money for them and naia learnt to help out more around the house with washing dishes and folding the laundry. and then ori stumbled into their lives to mess with their routine. noelani mostly just considers him a pain in the ass, but naia sees the way that she looks at him, the way they look at each other, and knows that she likes him really. ori’s incredibly fond of the girls, he loves joking around with naia and although noelani can be a little defensive sometimes, he’s always understanding and gets her to open up eventually. they’re not a perfect family, but with ori’s overwhelming loyalty and remarkable willingness to drop everything he’s doing to help them out, they know that they’ll be okay. well, that is until noelani slips up and ori finds out who she really is...

as always, if you’d like to have these guys in your game then check out the download link below, and if not, then i hope that you enjoy finding out a little more about them in their fact files!

download: simfileshare

ori mako:

found noelani and naia when he was running home from the beach - his shift at the surf shop had ended but the heavens had opened and the ensuing tropical storm that he got caught in was not one he wanted to hang around in - but his run home got sidetracked when he spotted the pair struggling home with their groceries since their paper bags had disintegrated in the rain - he didn’t know them, but he didn’t have the heart to leave them out there, so he scooped up all the food he could manage and gave naia his sports bag to shelter under until they made it back to their house - after that they couldn’t get rid of him, he just kept showing up on their doorstep like a lost puppy and the rest, as they say, is history

such a big dork - he’s ridiculously clumsy for someone who’s so agile on a surfboard and is constantly tripping over his words, especially around noelani, but he has that right amount of charm to play it off - he’s always goofing around with naia too; she’s basically the little sister he never had, and although noelani acts like it annoys her, he knows she likes his dorky humour really

makes no secret of the fact that he’s got a crush on noelani - in fact, he’s asked her out several times, only to be shot down with excuse after excuse, but he doesn’t let it get to him and it certainly hasn’t deterred him - he knows that they work together and he trusts that fate will works its magic eventually - it’s a good job he’s so patient...

noelani kelekoli:

always feels guilty about how tense she is - she puts so much pressure on herself that the littlest of things can make her lash out and it’s usually poor naia and ori that have to deal with the consequences - luckily for her, she’s got quite the knack for apologising; her double chocolate peanut butter cookies and puppy dog eyes are the perfect tools for smoothing things over after one of her volcanic eruptions

she spends most days dodging disasters and praying she’ll make it to the end of the day unscathed, but once a week she lets herself relax for a couple of hours in what has become one of their rag-tag group’s favourite traditions: saturday movie night - she strings an old sheet up on their deck and sets out all the pillows and blankets they have in the house, she pops a bowl of popcorn, drags the projector out of the coat closet in the hall and the trio set out to watch as many films as they can manage before the desire to sleep outweighs the need to sleep

she’s much more reluctant to admit her crush on ori, but she knows that she’s not very good at hiding it, especially with naia making kissy faces at her every time he turns his back - she wishes she could tell him how she really feels, but she’s scared to open up to him in case he finds out her big secret and runs for the hills - she cares about him too much to lose him, so as long as she avoids water at all costs (especially those surfing lessons he keeps offering her) then she should be fine...

naia kelekoli:

doesn’t really fit in at school - she has her best friend, tane, but most of the other kids tease her rotten for being a little on the quirky side or for not having all the cool new clothes - sure, she has to borrow tane’s pencils sometimes because her sister forgot to pick up a new pack at the store and yeah, her wardrobe’s almost entirely made up of noelani’s hand-me-downs, but if those kids are mean enough to pick on her for those kinds of things then she doesn’t want them to like her anyway

absolutely obsessed with ori - he can make her laugh until she snorts her milk out of her nose, he’s the perfect sandcastle building buddy because he knows just the right sand:water ratio and he’s the only person that’s been able to make her big sister genuinely smile since they lost their parents - she can’t wrap her head around why noelani hasn’t gone on a date with him yet, especially after she picked up all those babysitting service business cards from the board at the supermarket and hide them around the house, but she’s going to do everything she can to play cupid until ori lands one of his leaps of faith

she’s a really picky eater - but her fussiness doesn’t stop at refusing to eat a good 80% of the things at the grocery store; she hates bugs and is forever calling out for ori or her sister to get rid of them from her room; she’s got a huge phobia of vomit too, which was not fun to deal with when noelani was trying to get her to try more food; and if there’s any hair left in the shower and she steps on it then it’s game over, which is a problem since noelani makes her shower every morning - she’s always hovering by the bathroom door too when she comes out, like she’s been waiting for her, but naia just brushes it off as her being overprotective or as another one of her weird ‘i need to act like a parent’ kicks, like when she was obsessed with taking her down to the beach and teaching her about the ocean so that she was still ‘learning things outside the classroom’...

#i spent far too long on this and it's embarrassing #like am i ever going to play with these sims? probably not #is anyone ever going to play with these sims or think about them again after they've skim-read this post? absolutely not #but did i spend nearly 3 hours writing this huge spiel for them anyway? yes. yes i did #also they're HEAVILY influenced by lilo & stitch but i think that's pretty obvious haha #sims 4 #ts4 gameplay #sulani residents #ori mako #noelani kelekoli #naia kelekoli #littlemissnellie #townie makeover

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baby-army-ff · 4 years ago

Text

feelings -- J-Hope x Emma

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Emma trailed behind Monte as the proud girl flung the doors open to Big Hit Studios. The foyer was bright and the epitome of professionalism—tile floors that looked polished and shined that morning, not a dust bunny in any corner, and a large desk that looked fresh from IKEA decorated the entire entryway. Behind it sat an unsuspecting, tiny Asian girl dressed in a pencil skirt and loose blouse.

“Good afternoon, Yuri!” Monte shouted, echoing off every wall in the foyer. The girl shook and dropped the pen that she had been writing with. Even Emma jumped at the reverb. Monte continued her stroll, seemingly unphased.

“How are you today? I’m stupendous.” Monte rolled without missing a beat. And without letting Yuri get a word in. “Emma and myself were just stopping by to drop off sandwiches to the boys. I mean, no offense to Big Hit, but they are always waayy too excited for food. So, we thought, we might as well give them the full American experience with none other than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

Did Yuri understand a word Monte was saying, Emma wasn’t sure.

“I’m not sure they’ve ever had this exact entrée before. At least, not by two of the best PB&J artists in the United States. I think it’ll blow them away. What do you think, Emma?”

Monte hadn’t given her a script for this scene.

“Yes?” She responded more as a question.

“Perfect! Thanks for your understanding, Yuri. We’ll be out in no time! And also, if you could not tell Bang PD or Sejin about this, that’d be awesome. Thanks!” Monte pulled Emma past the security guards before she finished the last sentence.

When they made into the other room, Monte plopped the cardboard box filled with paper bags down on the couch in the waiting room.

“The security guards let us right past them.” It seemed to easy to Emma.

“Oh,” Monte snickered. “We are well acquainted, trust me. I think Yoongi would kill them if they laid a finger on me again. Anyways, we have a lot of ground to cover. Yoongi, of course, will be in his studio, so I’ll take that one.”

“I can take J-Hope’s. I’m pretty sure I know where the dance studio is.”

“Perfect! I don’t want you to get lost, so let’s just meet back here after that and we’ll figure out where to go from there.”

Emma nodded, grabbing a bag from the box and heading out into the hallway. The first time she had been here, the large building seemed like a maze. Given, she had only visited two other times since, but somehow the directions to the studio were committed to memory. Maybe because Monte and J-Hope had made it into an annoying song when they were trying to teach Emma the layout.

God, J-Hope and Monte were absolutely insane together. How did Yoongi deal with them alone before Emma came on as their fourth wheel? Emma refused to call it double dating, especially now that she had been on a few dates with Jimin. The only reason J-Hope and Emma were as close as they were was because they were always helping Monte and Yoongi sort through their issues. It came with being their best friends.

Emma slid through the dance studio door as she pushed it open. J-Hope sat on the wood floor, legs sprawled out in front of him as he leaned against the mirror-filled wall.

“Hey, good time. I finished practice.” He spoke clearly. He obviously had been practicing his English since she first met him months ago.

“Monte and I made sandwiches for everyone, so I thought I’d bring you yours.” She held the bag out to him as he pulled himself up and came over to her.

“That’s sweet. Thank you.” He tossed the bag onto the ground where he was previously sitting.

The boys did usually eat like they were starving, but J-Hope’s body alone was built and toned, muscles twitched down his arms with every move. It wasn’t a surprise—he danced several hours throughout the day, Emma knew that. The sweat that coated his forehead was proof enough of his work ethic.

Emma turned towards the door, her mission complete.

“You’re leaving?” The pout on his face made him look like a hurt puppy.

“I have other sandwiches to deliver, you know.” She chuckled.

“Dance one song with me.” He walked over to where his phone was plugged into the speaker.

“J-Hope, I don’t dance. I’d look stupid next to you.” There was no way. Nope. This is where she put her foot down. No matter how comfortable she got with J-Hope, there was no way she was dancing next to a professional, even if he was one of her best friends.

“Take off your shoes.” He hit play, quieting her protests.

“Why?” She shook her head laughing, kicking her tennis shoes off.

He copied her, kicking off his shoes near hers. “You need to..” He flung his arms in the air, modeling what she needed to do.

She laughed. “Let loose?”

“Let loose!” He mimicked her English words, tugging her hands towards him and swinging them to loosen up her arms.

“You’re crazy.” She followed nonetheless, letting him pull her towards the middle of the room.

Dropping her hands, he spun in circles around her, socks allowing him to glide across the floor. “You don’t have to dance.” He ran halfway across the room, jumping to slide the rest of the way to the wall.

Emma laughed as he nearly rammed into the wall. “You want to slide across the floor?”

“Slide! Yeah!” His eyes lit up at the new word.

He was too excited for her to say no and crush his dreams, so she ran to join him against the wall. They got in position to sprint and slide across the room as the beat dropped.

Right on the beat, J-Hope dashed to the center of the room, hopping onto both feet to glide the rest of the way.

In between laughs, Emma followed him, trying to gain speed before she skidded across the dance floor. The two bust out in more laughter as she collided against him.

He led the way for most of the song. Every once in awhile, she’d dash off in front of him, getting a head start. They even got fancy and began to slide in circles around each other.

Emma couldn’t remember the last time she laughed until she couldn’t breath. Could too much laughing give one abs? If so, she would definitely have some by the time she was done hanging out with J-Hope. He had to have a full six-pack already by how much he laughed, and danced. Probably both.

J-Hope grabbed one of her hands, pulling her along to catch her up to his speed as the song was coming to an end. As they hopped into their last coasting across the dance floor, J-Hope slipped on his own feet and fell with a thud, their hands broke apart.

Emma held in the laughter until she noticed he was laughing at his own mistake. Shaking her head, she held her hand out to help him up. “I thought you were the professional dancer! How did you fall before me?”

“I’m not perfect!” He smiled up at her before taking her hand.

When he stood up, she didn’t realize how close they’d be. How she could see every detail of his eyes. His bright smile. The sharpness of his nose and jawline. It wasn’t a question, he was perfect.

He squeezed her hand as they stood facing each other, smiles turning into gazes. Her heart beat out of her chest, and she worried the moment would be gone with her next breath. So she held it in.

How could anyone ever say that he was ugly? Yeah, she’d read those comments on their social media posts. They were blind, or had an awful taste in men. His duality was the most astonishing. A second ago, they were like children sliding across the dance floor. Now, her stomach was flipping under his stare, and there was a warmth growing in her body that she had never felt before.

Should she be feeling this way on her dates with Jimin?

He pulled his bottom lip in, chewing on it.

Emma entertained the thoughts of what if. What if she leaned in, went for it? Whatever it was. Would they kiss? Would he pull her in, bringing her body flush up against his? Could she push the sweat-drenched hair out of his eyes and run her fingers down his jaw bone, down his chest, down—

“Hey!”

She sprung away from J-Hope like he was on fire and she was the gasoline.

“Hey, Jimin.” J-Hope nodded towards the boy sauntering through the studio door.

She smiled the best she could, greeting Jimin.

“What are you doing here, Emma?” Jimin asked, throwing an arm around her to give her a side hug.

“She was just dropping off a sandwich for you.” J-Hope gestured towards the paper bag.

“Awwww, thank you so much!” A smile spread across his face as he squeezed his arm around her tighter.

Jimin and her were nothing serious, but the few dates they had gone on were enjoyable. He seemed to really like her, constantly feeding her compliments and asking her what she thought of different things. Compared to him, she had been majorly slacking in that department. He hadn’t even crossed her mind when she thought of whose sandwich to deliver.

With Jimin’s back turned to grab the sandwich, Emma’s eyes met J-Hope’s one last time. For the first time since they met, he looked sad, his mouth turned down in a frown.

“I should probably go grab another sandwich for you.” She headed over to the mirror to grab her shoes. It broke her heart to see J-Hope with that look.

“Yeah.. whenever.”

One of them said, but she barely caught it as she rushed out the door. Leaning against the wall outside the studio, she tucked her shoes back on. Monte’s words from a few nights ago rang in her head. How so many girls would die to be in my position, going on casual dates with Park Jimin. It was their dream.

She didn’t deserve him. He deserved one of those girls. One of the ones who dreamed about him. Not the one who ogled over his roommate. God, she really was becoming an awful person.

#bts #bts fic #bts army #bts fanfic #bts yoongi #bts smut #bts jhope #BTS jimin #bts hoseok #bts fanfiction #jhope fanfic #fanfic #hoseok fanfic #bts imagines #jhope imagines #jhope #jhope x reader #hoseok #hoseok x reader

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artificialqueens · 6 years ago

Text

How Far I'll Go - Part 2 (Nina West/Monet X Change) - Meggie, Mia Ugly

A/N: We have reworked Chapter One to reflect the events of the S11 reunion, so you may want to give it a reread. Can we FIX IT? Yes we can.

(TW: REUNION SPOILERS)

Nina is in Columbus on the day he gets the call.

It’s his last show before Drag Con. He’s already going through dog-withdrawal. His boys will be fine of course but he fucking hates leaving them; as soon as he starts packing a suitcase they know something’s up and it breaks his heart.

Anyway. He’s glad to spend his last night at home in one of his favourite places in the world, surrounded by the people he loves. It’s only been a few days since the finale and reunion, and Nina’s feeling a bit raw about everything. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t looked at Monet’s number in his phone several dozen times, contemplated what he could say to make his behaviour the morning after acceptable. The only things that come to his mind are lies (family emergency! food poisoning! traumatic brain injury after falling in the shower!) and Nina doesn’t do that. Much.

So.

It’s either own up and confess how he was feeling, or - pretend that number in his phone doesn’t exist. Maybe stare at it from time to time, sighing (before reminding himself that it was just one night and didn’t mean anything anyway). And then sigh some more and distract himself with peanut butter straight from the jar. You know - whatever results in the least amount of dignity possible.

Anyway.

The reunion is going to air tomorrow night, but Nina’s going to be on a plane as it happens. That’s fine, he knows how it all went down, and he doesn’t really need to see Brooke and Vanjie’s shy little love story unfold (and ultimately self-destruct) once again. He saw it all already, and firsthand. Picked up the pieces of Brooke’s shattered heart and whip-stitched them back together as best he could while the other chain-smoked and wallowed in denial and blame.

Nina’s sitting in the dressing room, paint mostly on but not in his dress (he’s doing “Let It Go” from Frozen with a full-on ice queen reveal because it’s been that kind of a month. Maybe he’s coming for Brooke’s gig, but maybe not.), and scrolling through Instagram when an unfamiliar number flashes white on the screen.

He’s used to this. The charity work means somehow a lot of people get his number - it’s not ideal, but it makes the work he’s doing worth it so he deals. He’ll deal.

He slides his thumb across the screen, plasters on his best smile (it’s easier to be nice to people when you’re smiling), greets them with a cheery, “Hello!”

“Nina, this is Maya with World of Wonder. How are you this evening?”

His heart leaps to his throat. What could they want with him now? There are still two episodes of the show left to air, but publicity is almost all died down. And calling him instead of his manager?

“Good. Great!” he chokes out. “I’m… How are you?”

“Fine, thank you. I’m calling because I’d like to formally invite you to participate in season five of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.”

The world? Stops. His heart? Pounds. His brain? Freezes.

All Stars . Another chance. Redemption.

“Yes!” he says immediately, too quickly, too enthusiastically, as soon as he can make his mouth work again. “Yes! When?”

On the other end of the line, Maya laughs, high and clear.

“Yay, that was an easy sell. We’re excited to have you back! We’ll be filming in late July, and you’ll receive further instructions by email. But please do remember that the terms of your verbal contract start now, so no one other than your emergency contact will be allowed to know you are participating. Reach out if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay. Thank you!”

“Looking forward to seeing you again, Nina. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

And with a click, she’s gone. But Nina’s entire world has shifted on its axis. He just stands there in front of the mirror, unable to move, unable to think.

All Stars.

When they’d first asked him about it, way back in January when the Season 11 girls had first started doing promos, he’d given them a tentative yes. He knew how big the platform was and wanted to make the most of it. But he’d also… not wanted to count his chickens, or something. You never know how America (or the world) will react to you (just ask Silky). Maybe it’s vain, but Nina had wanted to see if they liked him, really liked him - like he’d hoped they would.

He couldn’t have imagined AOC going live to protest his elimination. Or Leslie Jones being so angry (he really does hope someone sent her a box of cookies) or Rihanna (Rihanna!) coming to his defense after that controversial lip-sync. Then his Miss Congeniality win. It was almost too much all at once.

He’d also figured they meant an All Stars far, far away. Like. Season eight. Or nine. Maybe even ten (if he’s still able to stomp around in heels without a walker at that point). Right after his own season? A pipe dream.

But it’s here, and it’s happening, and he’d be foolish not to take the opportunity that was presented to him. It’s the ultimate redemption story, and look at how beloved the All Stars winners are.

He ticks through them in his head: Chad, Alaska, Trixie, Trinity, Monet…

There, he falters. He usually just tries not to think about Monet, glowing golden and dripping in sequins and body silky smooth against his own. Best not to dwell when there isn’t any peanut butter in sight.

But who needs peanut butter when you’re an All Star?

He giggles, straight up lets a gleeful laugh reverberate through his chest and up through his nose and spread like honey, coating every surface in the small dressing room. Just once though, before he falls silent again. Studies his reflection in the mirror.

He might be in shock.

“Nina, you okay?” The evening’s MC (Luz, lovely person, really involved in the trans youth movement) is looking at him curiously from the doorway of the dressing room.

Nina blinks. The phone is still in his hand. He knew this was a possibility, of course. Just - you don’t know until you know - you know? Part of the reason he’s gotten this far (he always tells himself) is that he never assumes anything is a certainty. He always counts on having to fight his way those last few feet to the finish line.

“Nina?”

“I’m in All Stars,” Nina says.

“What?” Luz squeaks, and Nina stumbles forward, grabbing her arm.

“I’m in All Stars.”

The other queens in the greenroom turn their heads in unison at the statement.

“I’m in All Stars,” Nina says again.

The queens stalk over to him with their hands on their hips, heels clicking in synchronized stomps on the linoleum floor.

And then Nina can hear music. (When did he put on his gown?) A brass band, a string section. And the queens start singing:

“Nina West you’re going places

Always knew you’d make it far

Nina West you got that phone call

You are our All Star!”

“I am!” Nina gasps as he’s lifted up by the queens and carried out into the middle of the club. The dance floor is crowded but somehow the patrons are making a circle around him, moving in perfect rhythm.

“Nina West, sent home too early

Still e-lev-en-gendary.

Time to show the world you’re more than

Miss Congeniality!”

A group of drag kings by the pool table start spinning their cues over their heads like batons (so much talent in this community!)

“Brought camp to the masses, ” they sing in baritone.

Brought pride to our town,

We can’t wait to see you

Wearing that All Stars crown!”

“Thank you!” Nina is set down on the stage. Glitter starts falling from the ceiling, catching in his wig and eyelashes.

“Love you all,” he sings alone to the enraptured crowd, “you are my family,

I’ll make you proud and do my best.

We can change the world together

Go big, be kind, go West!”

“Go West!” the crowd sings back.

“Go Wessssssst!” Nina hits a perfect falsetto high note, throwing his arms open -

“Nina.”

Nina waves at the cheering crowd -

“Nina!”

Glitter keeps falling like snowflakes, ice cold and shimmering -

“Nina. You okay?” Luz, the evening’s MC, is staring at him in the doorway of the greenroom.

Nina looks at her. There is no glitter in his eyelashes. There is no music playing in the background. Over his shoulder, a couple of bored local queens are penciling on their eyebrows. He’s wearing an old t-shirt and a pair of khaki shorts and not the shimmering blue Elsa gown.

He’s still holding his cellphone in his hand.

“Um,” Nina says. “Yep.”

*****

Nina talks to Brooke a lot.

It makes sense; they’ve been friends for a long time, they really bonded during their season, Nina helped Brooke through his breakup with Vanjie (although Brooke insisted at the time he was fine. Still does, actually. Nina has his own theories about that, but he isn’t pushing).

So yeah. They chat. A lot.

And all Nina wants to do is tell Brooke about his All Stars call, but he can’t because of the damn NDA.

It’s frustrating.

They meet for breakfast early on the first day of Drag Con, Brooke in his customary black and white, Nina in a navy blue button up spotted with pink flamingos (it felt right).

They’ve no sooner settled into the booth and given their orders than Nina’s knee starts bouncing. Nerves. Anxiety. (Yes - both.)

“What’s with you?” Brooke asks while he sips his coffee. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this worked up.”

Nina shrugs. “Nervous about the Con, I guess.”

“And?” Brooke’s eyes narrow.

“ And?”

“And what else?” He stirs another packet of sugar into the cup. “I know you. It’s not like you to be nervous about a networking opportunity.”

Nina scoffs. “Drag Con is way more than just a networking opportunity and I -”

“You’re a bad fucking liar. Takes one to know one.” Brooke leans his elbows on the table, cool as a Canadian autumn, presses his fingertips together, stares Nina down. “What’s going on?”

Nina sighs. “I wish I could tell you, trust me, it’s not that I don’t want to; it’s that I literally can’t.” He widens his eyes, hoping maybe Brooke will get the point.

Apparently it works, because after a few moments, recognition blooms across Brooke’s face and he laughs. “Really? Like. Officially really?”

Nina nods. This is okay, right? He’s not technically breaking the contract. It’s not like he told Brooke anything verbally.

“Nina! That’s - oh my god!” Then Brooke is busily tapping away at his phone and a sense of dread overcomes Nina.

“You can’t tell anybody - “

Brooke waves him off. “I’m just telling Vanjie.”

Okay, that’s - something to come back to certainly, but - more pressing matters first. “Brooke, seriously. You can’t tell anybody. I’m not supposed to tell anybody.”

“You didn’t.” Brooke shrugs. Good to know at least they share the same sentiment about verbal contracts. That might come in handy during litigation. “I figure the House of West has a lot of prove, and you’ve never backed down from a challenge. So I know you’ll bring it and… I just kind of wanted to give the competition a heads up.” He bites his lip and waits for Nina to process.

And - look, it takes him a minute. Because it’s really a lot of information at one time.

Item 1: Brooke and Vanjie are still close. He knew that. Everybody with Twitter and Instagram knew. (Hell, for a little while, even Nina wasn’t 100% sure they weren’t still together.) Close enough for Vanessa to tell Brooke about an All Stars call when legally sworn to utmost secrecy?

Yeah, actually, that tracks. Vanjie’s shit at keeping secrets, and he’s still indescribably in love with Brooke, only an idiot (like Brooke) wouldn’t see that. So. Do the math.

Item 2: Vanjie is back back back on Drag Race. For the third season in a row. And the bitch can turn it. Nina doubts very much there will be 47 swimsuits, pasties, panties, and bras this time around. He’s a little intimidated, if he’s being quite honest.

Okay, so it’s really only two points of information, but it’s two very large points that have a big, pointy impact on his life. Which leads to:

Item 1: Nina had been relieved and happy when Brooke and Vanessa were able to start talking again after the breakup. They’d been using him as a middle man - a mediator, he preferred (far less tacky) - and although he loved them both, it was exhausting. And he could only say, “I think you should just talk to him and not me,” so many times before he got frustrated. But he had persevered and eventually, Brooke had texted Vanjie and they’d started to repair their friendship.

Go figure that. Nina’s inner saboteur is back, has been back since the night of the finale taping, the night he spent with Monet. He hates it. Wishes he could cut into himself and carve it out like a cancer. Adults talking through their issues and handling shit. Who knew it was possible?

So he should have texted Monet. Fine - it’s fine. Water under the… thing.

Item 2: Who else is on All Stars? If Nina’s being really honest, he’s been on cloud nine about the whole thing, and hasn’t given much thought to who else could be competing. He has his dream cast, of course, and a long list of Ru girls he’d love to work with. But the thought of competing against the Very Best of the Very Best is… Well, he’s shook. To say the least.

His face must convey it because Brooke reaches across the table and takes his hand. “Hey. You deserve this, Nina.”

He nods, tears hot in his eyes, and wills himself not to cry. “I bet you told Vanjie the same thing,” he says, voice catching a bit in his throat.

“I did.” Brooke laughs, unashamed of his affection, even when it’s blinding. “I also told him he was crazy for doing three seasons in a row but…” He holds out his hands, shrugs, as if to say it isn’t his responsibility anymore. Nina knows he’s probably right, but deep down he suspects that Brooke and Vanjie are far more entangled than they like to think, and Brooke’s opinion means more to Vanessa than either one of them will care to admit.

Relationships are messy.

Anyway.

“Do you think I should have said no?” Nina asks, afraid for the answer. “Taken a break? Focused on the charity? Ridden the first-year wave a little longer?”

“Hell no!” Brooke responds immediately. “Take the opportunity. People fucking adore you, Nina. Plus, look at Monet! She won right after her season so. It can be done.”

Nina considers, briefly, telling Brooke about the whole tangled Monet thing. Decides, instead, to deflect. “So, um. That guy you took back to your room after the finale… the beardo… character. How is… that going?”

Brooke raises an eyebrow at him. “This is really what you want to talk about right now?”

“It’s just good to see you moving on.” (Is it though? Is it really?)

Brooke rolls his eyes and smiles into his coffee. “What about you? Any romance on the horizon for Nina West?”

“No.” Nina snorts. “It’s been…” Three days, eight hours, and - he glances at his watch - one minute. Approximately. Not that he’s counting. “A while. Let’s just say a while.”

Brooke’s mouth quirks to the side and his left eye twitches the tiniest bit. “Well.” He places his mug on the table and smiles at Nina. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities on tour. We’ll get you on Tinder and Grindr! Trade in every city, Nina.”

Actually, Nina usually prefers to go back to his room and shower for about 45 minutes before collapsing into bed and sleeping until his alarm goes off the next morning. Finding someone to sleep with and then actually fucking them? That seems exhausting. Better to let Brooke take that one on himself (seems like that’s his preferred coping strategy).

And Nina is in no place to judge coping strategies, so despite any - concerns he might feel (the lines beneath Brooke’s eyes, the nicotine stains on his hands, that thing he does with his face that makes Nina want to hug him) he keeps his mouth shut.

He’s getting awfully good at the whole not-speaking-up thing. It’s not his best look. Not at all.

*****

On the air-conditioned floors of Drag Con, Nina gets to shake hands and hug people from all across the country, children to teenagers to tiny old grannies with walkers. It’s a completely surreal and humbling experience; he can’t get over the way it feels to have people know his name, people thank him for doing something that he loves.

And he gets to meet up again with so many of the queens he’s crazy about, queens he never thought would give a shit about him. It’s so nice seeing Adore again, she’s exactly the kind of person he wishes he had the guts to be when he was her age. And Peppermint is everything and Miss Fame is like an actual goddess in person as well as on television and then there’s James St. James - it’s a lot.

It almost feels like a trip to Disneyland but gayer (a bit) and with more neuroses.

There’s a weird moment with Miz Cracker, which is unexpected –Nina’s been a stan since Season 10, watches her recaps religiously. He didn’t think they were going to be best friends or anything (all right, maybe he thought they’d get there eventually) but when he introduces himself she basically stares right through him, says nothing, and starts to walk away. Luckily Vanjie is with her, so Nina embraces him to dissipate the awkward tension. He and Vanjie have a mini-meltdown over how in love they are with each other, and after Cracker is well out of earshot, Vanjie gives Nina a look.

“She feeling some type of way about you, hey? You steal her man or something?”

“Absolutely not.” Nina’s a bit hurt – he was legitimately excited about meeting Cracker – but she’s entitled to an off day. Or to just plain not like him (though who doesn’t like him? He’s bloody endearing, like a Labrador puppy).

Anyway, not to overdo the animal comparisons, but water off a duck’s back.

He doesn’t see Monet at the Con. Which is - probably for the best. Nina doesn’t avoid him but - he doesn’t go looking for him either. And really, he barely gets a moment to sneak away from his booth, so it isn’t like he’s a total garbage person. He doesn’t throw himself to the ground or anything at the sight of Monet coming toward him, his life hasn’t yet reached the level of pure farce.

It’s barely been a week anyway; Nina’s still figuring out how to appropriately apologize (appropriately apologize without coming across like a pathetic sad-sack who has maybe thought about that night a bit more than could be considered ‘casual’).

So. Space. Time. Possibly a time machine. All or any of them will work.

The Con ends on a high note and Nina basically goes on tour immediately after, doing a lot of PR for the season and his albums. In New York he finally meets Leslie Jones and loses his mind. He kind of floats through the next two months, lets himself be buoyed up by the love and support of his community, lets it erase the insecurities that wound like thorns around his heart after Season 11.

He travels, he makes people laugh. It’s what he’s good at. It’s how he’s survived.

When he’s not working, he’s practicing his sewing and designing and bribing his witchy seamstress friends into helping him put some new looks together. Somehow the days tick by too quickly. Spring ends, and summer breaks scalding over Ohio. Nina’s packing up his bags and hugging people goodbye and crying ( not really, but just don’t look at him for a minute) over his dogs.

And getting on a plane to L.A.

Being on set is familiar but also kind of panic inducing. Nina didn’t realize how differently he carried himself when he was getting ready to be filmed until his spine straightened helplessly and he suddenly realized he had arms. His body remembers how intense this experience was (is) even if his brain doesn’t.

He’s dressed in a (non-copyright infringing) version of Woody from Toy Story, sequined and cinched and proportionized, just like Michelle would want. Maya the P.A. hugs him, introduces him to the sound guy who hooks up his microphone, taping it just under Nina’s neckline (“At least buy me dinner first!” Nina says with a shrill, nervous laugh, and the sound guy doesn’t even flinch, clearly having heard it before. Nina may actually have said the same thing last season. It - might also have been the same sound guy).

“You ready?”

Nina is ready. He adjusts her cowboy hat, shifts her fringed leather belt and the sequined holsters for her bubble guns.

Then the lights are on him, and the cameras are rolling, and Nina pulls down the shutters on his insecurity (make ‘em laugh, it’s what he does).

“Hey y’all. I’m here to show you how the West was Won.”

Nina West struts into the werkroom, bubble guns at the ready, and the rest is herstory.

#rpdr fanfiction #nina west #monet x change #ninex #eventual branjie #eventual trixya #smut #angst #fix-it #canon compliant #musical #how far ill go #hfig #mia ugly #on set fic #concrit welcome #submission #meggie

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sidehowriting · 6 years ago

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Princesses and Secret Admirers

Masterlist in bio!

A/N: I was really hoping @loki-the-fox would do a Valentine’s Day Challenge because I had an idea going and look! It’s a Valentine’s Day Challenge! This is the 4th installment of the Princesses series (?) but can function as a stand alone. I’m not going to link the previous parts here because I get more traffic without links. But they can all be found in my masterlist.

Prompt: Who’s it from? Your secret admirer?

Pairings: Dad!Thor x Daughter

Summary: Someone has a crush on Thor’s daughter

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Just cute fluff, over protective Thor and other Avengers

Coming home was always Thor’s favorite part of missions. He missed his wife, his kids, his simple domestic life. Getting home early always a treat. And this time was no exception.

It was just past three-thirty in the afternoon when he got home, a full eight hours ahead of schedule. He crept in as quietly as he could, finding his family gathered in the kitchen.

A chorus of cheers and yelling greeted his ears as his family rushed towards him. He smiled broadly, easily encompassing his wife, son, and daughter into his arms. “I missed you all so much!” He said, giving each family member a kiss. “I’m so happy to be back!”

“I missed you too, Dad!” His daughter said, clinging to his middle.

“We’re so glad you’re back.” His wife placed a sweet kiss to his cheek as she spoke.

His tiny two-year-old son simply jumped up and down at his legs yelling, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

When he had his fill of their family hug, he released them. “I was just making some after school snacks,” his wife said. “I have some cut up apples with peanut butter if that’s alright. Or I can make you whatever you please. Sometime more filling.”

“This is fine, my queen.” He placed his hand on her waist and kissed her cheek again. “Stark fed us well.”

“I’ll slice up another one then,” she said, smiling. “Can you go through Lina’s backpack with her?”

“Of course!” Thor bellowed and joined his daughter at the kitchen table. The backpack in question was already sitting in the middle of the table. Lina was seated, pulling school books out of the pack. Thor sat down next to her. “What do we have?”

He took the stuff she handed him. “I have a worksheet to do for history. And I have two pages of math to do. Will you help me?” She looked up at him, pleadingly. He never did have the willpower to deny her. Her sweet blue eyes always melted his heart.

“Of course, my princess.” He started to sort the books while little Arik started to pull at his leg. Thor lifted his son up, placing him on his lap. “We’ll both help, right, little prince?” Smiling, Thor opened Lina’s folder, flipping through the papers to find her worksheet. “What’s this?” He pulled out a torn piece of paper, intricate creases showing that it was once folded in many ways. In the center of the paper was a note: I liked your hair ribbon. Pink is a good color.

His wife placed a plate of apples and peanut butter on the table next to them. Arik wasted no time in grabbing and apple and munching on it. “Oh, is that a note?” She asked, ruffling the little boy’s hair. “Who’s it from? Your secret admirer?”

“Yeah!” Lina said proudly, grabbing the letter from Thor. “Look at this one!”

Thor watched as Lina passed the note to her mother, utterly confused. “What? What secret admirer?”

“Olina’s been getting notes just about everyday this week. Someone in her class has a crush on her.”

“What?” Thor’s eyes were wide as disks, looking from his daughter to his wife. “No, absolutely not.”

Lina sighed, “It’s okay, Dad. Valentine’s Day is next week.”

“That doesn’t make it better!” Panic was starting to settle in. No, no way. Olina was only seven. There was no way in the nine realms that she had a secret admirer. She was far too young for crushes.

“I hope they’re from Tommy,” Lina said, grabbing an apple and coating it in peanut butter. “He’s the cutest.”

Thor clutched his chest, feeling like he might pass out. “It’s okay,” came his wife’s soothing voice. She placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “No need to worry. It’s just a school yard crush.”

No matter what his wife said, Thor couldn’t get past that his daughter had a secret admirer. The thought was in the back of his mind as he helped Lina with her homework, helped make dinner, and helped get the kids to bed. He didn’t say anything until he and his wife were preparing for their own slumber.

“I don’t like this,” he said, brushing his golden hair. “She’s far too young.”

“She’s seven, Thor.” His wife sounded tired and borderline annoyed. “That may be young for an Asgardian, but for a human that’s a perfectly normal age to have a crush.”

“She’s half Asgardian!” He countered.

His wife started laughing. “She’s also half human. So far, her aging is on par with humans. If that changes then I will fully support your opinion that she’s too little. Until she slows down, she’s allowed to think some boy in her class is cute.”

Thor continued to grumble and complain about it. Not pleased with how fast his little girl was growing up. Wasn’t it just yesterday she was swaddled tightly, nothing but a tiny face poking out of a blanket as he rocked her to sleep? He did not like this one bit.

“Now,” his wife came to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. His large frame prevented her hands from meeting. “You’ve been away for eight days. I’ve missed you. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be with you.”

Putting the brush down, he smirked. He twisted around and easily lifted her off her feet. She squealed and giggled, grabbing onto his shoulders. He kissed her deeply yet quickly, just giving her a taste of what was to come. “Let me remind you, then.”

Thor volunteered to stay at home the next morning with Arik while his wife took Olina to school. He was formulating a plan on how to deal with this secret admirer and wanted his lovely wife out of the house to do so. Was it a bit sneaky? Sure, but he was just doing his duty as a father.

While Arik was content watching cartoons, Thor pulled out his phone and sent a group text:

Thor: We have a situation

Tony: Something wrong?

Clint: Is everything ok?

Steve: Is your family alright?

Bucky: I can be there in 20 minutes

Thor: Everyones fine. I just found out theres someone at school who was been sneaking Lina love notes.

Sam: Love notes??????

Tony: This is an emergency

Bucky: I’ll be there in 10

Steve: Whos the punk?

Thor: I dont know. Shes been coming home with secret notes everyday from someone. She doesnt know who its from

Tony: Give me the note. I’ll have the handwriting analyzed

Thor: That will take too long. I have another idea

Thor pushed open the door into the house after getting Lina from school. “Mom!” Lina yelled, “we’re back!”

“Remember what I said,” Thor whispered to her before her mother appeared. “Mummy doesn’t need to know.”

“Hello!” His wife walked in with a smile on her face. “How as school?”

“It was great! I got a hundred on the history worksheet Dad helped me with yesterday!” Lina said so proudly, making Thor feel great.

“That’s so wonderful!” Lina’s mother kissed the top of the little girl’s head. Something about her tone and behavior was off and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Why don’t you go wash up and play with Arik for a little bit before snack and homework?”

With no other prompting, Lina raced out of the room, leaving him alone with his wife. Instantly, her posture changed. Her eyes hardened and her hands went right to hips like they do when she scolds the children.

“So, do you want to tell me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, his eyes skirting everywhere to avoid her harsh gaze. He clasped his hands behind his back. “Nope. No idea.” He swayed from foot to foot gently, trying to act natural.

“Really?” She whipped out her cell phone. “This is the text I got from Lina’s teacher. ‘I see Thor is back. He showed up to pick Lina up. He had the whole Avenger’s crew with him, all ready for battle. It seemed a bit odd but he had Lina’s pick up pass so we let her go. It was strange so I wanted to send you a text just to let you know.’”

He mentally cursed himself. He thought as long as he had the pass saying he was there to pick up Olina that everything would go smoothly.

“Not to mention,” his wife continued, her voice starting to rise. “The texts I was getting from some of the other parents. So, I’m going to ask again. Why were you, Anthony, Clinton, Steven, James, and Samuel all picking Olina up from school? All wearing your battle gear?”

She was addressing everyone by their full names. She was not happy.

“I can explain,” he started, trying to think of something that wouldn’t make his wife explode at him.

“If you’re about to tell me that you did that to try and intimidate whatever poor little boy that likes Lina you are sleeping on the couch for the next week.”

“Well-“

“Thor Odinson! I cannot believe you!” He was in deep trouble now. “She’s a child, Thor! It’s just a little crush! And then to get practically the whole team involved in this?”

“My darling,” he pleaded, rushing to her side. “The others…well they should know what’s going on in Olina’s life, right? They just wanted to help.”

“Uh, huh.” She walked away from him. “Is there a reason Natasha and Bruce weren’t there as well? Could it be because they’re the only rational ones out of the group? They would have told you just how stupid you were being?”

That was exactly why they were not part of his group chat, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her. “My queen. My beautiful beautiful queen. I just wanted to-“

“What? Intimidate a child?” When she said it like that, it did sound rather extreme. “Thor...” Her voice finally dropped. She just sounded tired now.

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing her palm. “I didn’t mean to make you so upset, my queen.” He kissed her palm again and she started to relax and melt. “Truly.” He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. “Just the thought of Olina growing up so quickly… I miss her being small.”

She responded by wrapping her own arms around his neck, kissing his cheek tenderly. “I know. I do too. I miss those days so much. But she’s growing up and we can’t stop that. She’s going to grow up and there’s going to be lots of boys and girls that have crushes on her. Same with Arik. That’s how life works.”

She had a point that he was reluctant to admit. Instead, he just rested his cheek against the top of her head. He loved his wife so much. He was so thankful to have her. She made him a better man, husband, father. “I don’t know what I would do without you, my queen,” he whispered to her. “You are right as always. I acted irrationally and I am sorry. But Lina did like being picked up by all of us. She was very happy and surprised.”

“Be that as it may, you still caused a scene. The whole lot of you did.” She pulled away to meet his eyes. “I know you all love her and are protective of her, but this is not the way to go about it. Promise me that if you’re concerned about something, you’ll come talk to me about it first before you assemble the Avengers?”

“I promise,” he said and kissed her. He enjoyed this soft, simple moment with her. Holding her hips and kissing her with all the love he could muster. What he wouldn’t do for her and his family.

She was the one to slowly pull away, her lips a bit rosy. She smiled, and gently traced her fingers around his cheek. “I love you. And you’re still sleeping on the couch.”

Tags: @lancsnerd @xxloki81xx @dsakita

#riversdayoflove #dad!thor #dad!thor x daughter #thor fluff #thorsdottir #thor x reader

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rockabunny-blog2 · 5 years ago

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Crowley x Reader •You look like you've been through hell•

[WARNING: This story contains abuse and violence]

A door slammed loudly and woke you up, angry footsteps followed and something was thrown to the ground, shattering on the wooden floor. You flinched and looked at your alarm clock on your nightstand with sleepy eyes: 2 o'clock in the morning... The door to the bedroom was slammed open and you already knew what was going to happen. Scared you hid under your blanket, acting as if you would sleep. But your boyfriend didn't care about it. He grabbed you by your shoulder and pushed you out of the bed: "Make me something to eat!", he ordered as you whined because you had hit the nightstand with your shoulder. Without a word you stood up and went downstairs in the kitchen, making a Peanut-butter-jelly sandwich and placing it on the table. You heard your boyfriend stomping down the stairs and mentally prepared for whatever he might get angry with you again. "Are you fucking kidding me?!", he yelled, pointing at the sandwich and threw the plate to the ground. "A sandwich?! I'm hungry and you dare to make me a sandwich?!" With every word he walked nearer to you and was now standing right before you. You could smell the alcohol he had been drinking like every night and didn't dare to look him in the eyes. Angry he pushed you and you fell backward, hitting the oven behind you once again. "Go and get me a pizza." With tears in your eyes, you rushed into the bathroom. Your reflection in the mirror showed a pale girl with deep eye rings, bruises all over your body and a skeleton like build. Tears swell up again as you saw yourself in such a bad state. As tears rolled down your cheeks you asked yourself how it had come to this. When it had started that he hit you. When the good times had stopped. You sobbed and buried your face in your hands. "(Y/N)!", you could hear him yelling out of the living room. "Go, now!" Sniffing you pulled yourself together, wiping the tears away, put some makeup on and tied your hair into a messy bun before you walked out of the bathroom again. Your boyfriend was sitting on the couch, watching some sort of porn and had another bottle of beer in his hand. You opened the front door and the cool air hit you, immediately crawling under your t-shirt and sweatpants. Shivering you walked through the empty streets, passing closed stores and full bars. In front of one bar, you suddenly felt the urge to stop. You knew it wasn't a good idea to go drinking now since your boyfriend would beat the crap out of you when you come back in the morning but you didn't care right now. Determined you opened the door and walked straight to the counter, you sat down on one of the stools and studied the small menu, not sure what you wanted to order to drink yourself away. "Two Whiskeys, please.", a deep voice next to you ordered and the next second you had one in front of you. Wondering you turned around to get a look at the man next to you. He looked handsome with his black suit and his bristly beard, on his lips played a charming smile and he looked at you with mysterious eyes. "Hello, darling", he greeted you and sipped at his Whiskey. Suddenly you recognized the man. It had been years since you met him and you had nearly forgotten him but now he was sitting in front of you: Crowley, the King of the Crossroads. "May I ask your name?", he asked politely, it seemed like he didn't recognize you yet, no wonder because of the way you looked now. " It's (Y/N).", you smiled weakly. This name rang a bell in his head, he narrowed his eyes and stared at you for a second [like on the gif ;)] before he finally recognized you: "(Y/N)?? My god, what happened to you?" "Ironically for the king of the crossroad to talk about god", you chuckled, trying to change the subject. " It's King of hell now.", he corrected you with a haughty look and crooked smile. "Oh,", you answered in surprise. "So you moved up the ladder, huh?", you swayed the Whiskey in your glass, watching the liquid swirl. "Now tell me what had happened to you. You look like you've gone through hell, and I must know it." Sighting you took a long drink from your Whiskey before you cleared your throat: "My boyfriend became a pisshead and found fun in beating me up." That was all you had to say about it, it explained everything and you rather stayed short about your problems since you didn't want any pity. You gulped the rest of the whiskey down and felt the familiar burning in your throat. Crowley passed you his glass and you took it thankfully. His face got serious: "Why haven't you left him?" "I couldn't.", you replied between sips. " He is the only one left in my life. I would have nowhere to go and if I go who knows what he might do to me." He looked at you as if someone had hurt his puppy: "Do you still love him?" You needed to think for a moment, it wasn't easy to answer this question. You still loved the man he had been, when you looked at old pictures you felt butterflies in your stomach but then you looked at him now and it felt like somebody was stabbing those butterflies, leaving nothing but an empty feeling and sadness. "No..", you answered Crowley's question with a shaking voice and attempted to gulp the rest of the Whiskey down again but Crowley stopped you, taking the glass out of your hand and putting it back on the counter: " Don't waste the good stuff, darling." You sighed again, running your fingers over your face and through your hair. "You know, I could help you.", he stated and you huffed amused: " I'm still not gonna make a deal, Crowley." "How sad...But I already doubt it.", he said and stood up. A feeling of disappointment grew inside you as you heard him walk away. Maybe you should have made a deal. Crowley's hell couldn't be worse than your hell on earth. You flinched as suddenly someone placed his hand on your hip and a hot breath brushed your right ear: " I'm still going to help you, love.", Crowley behind you whispered. Your body tingled at his touch and his low voice like it hasn't done in years. It felt so much better than the burning of whiskey in your throat. "And how do you wanna do that?", you finally asked as the wave of desire had finally stopped rushing over you. "Let's say...", he lightly kissed your neck. "He fell down the stairs and broke his spine..." Crowley knew exactly damn well which buttons he needed to push to get the reaction out of you he wanted. You bit your lip and inhaled sharply. "Why would you do that for me? What are you hoping to get in return?" He chuckled: "Oh, I already did it." And with that, his hand left your hip and he was gone, leaving you uncertain about if he had said the truth.

Back at home, you found your boyfriend lying on the floor, unconscious but still breathing. You called an ambulance and they first wanted to take you with them to take a look at your bruises and wounds but you were able to shrug them off. Now you were sitting on the couch, staring into the black tv screen and didn't know what to do.

Meanwhile, Crowley visited your boyfriend in the hospital, he appeared in his room with a cocky grin on the face and his hands in the pockets of his black suit. "Hello, Zac." [Let's just call him Zac], Crowley greeted and Zac jumped in surprise, letting out a quiet scream. "What the hell?!", he yelled and threw a glass after Crowley, but he easily eschewed it. " That's where I come from, I'm impressed you noticed it so fast.", Crowley chuckled and Zac looked at him with terror as Crowley's eyes switched to red and back. "I heard you will never be able to walk again. Must be worse for a football player." Zac stared at him with furious eyes, not really getting where this was going. Crowley calmly walked towards the bed, Zac was sitting on. "I could give you your legs back. You would be able to walk again and play football", Crowley's smirk grew as he saw how Zac was thinking about it. "What do you think?" "What do you want in return?" "Your soul." Zac eyes narrowed in disbelief: "H-how?" "Oh, you don't have to do anything for it. I'm just gonna claim it someday.", Crowley licked his lips, already knowing that Zac was about to say yes. "Okay, deal.", he finally said and Crowley grinned once again. "I still can't feel my legs. Isn't the deal sealed yet?" "It's sealed with a kiss." "No way!", Zac shouted and Crowley sighted: "Normally our girl demons do the boys but there was no one available today, sorry." With a disgusted expression, Zac pressed his lips onto Crowley's and pulled away fast. "It was a pleasure to make a deal with you.", Crowley said and disappeared again.

At home you still sat on the couch, staring blankly at the tv screen. Suddenly you heard a rustle behind you and turned around, only to see Crowly standing in the kitchen. He had lifted his right foot and looked at it grossed out: " I knew it wouldn't be neat and tidy here because I haven't announced that I would come over but I wouldn't have expected that.", he said and pointed at the pb&j sandwich which was now sticking under his shoe. A giggle escaped your mouth and he smiled softly at you before he whipped the sandwich away. "We don't have much time, darling. Zac will be here in at least one hour so we need to hurry.", he said and grabbed your coat from the closet next to the door. " What, how? The doctors told me that he wouldn't be able to walk again.", you asked puzzled and stood up. "I made a deal with him, he can walk again. Now get your favorite belongings so that we can go.", he explained to you and you looked at him in disbelief. " So you only 'helped' me to make a deal with him?", you asked angrily. Crowley walked over to you and looked you deep in the eyes as he spoke: "No, the other way around, love. I made a deal with him to help you. He only got three days until I'll claim what is mine." You bit your lip and quickly turned away, walking upstairs to pack a bag with your clothes. '(Y/N), don't even think about it!', you thought to yourself. 'He's the King of Hell and only playing with you!' A bit grumpy about yourself you threw your clothes in your bag, hurried in the bathroom to get all your stuff and then rushed down the stairs. Crowley noticed the grumpy look on your face: "Everything okay, darling?" "S-sure,", you stuttered. " We can go." He narrowed his brows, questioning himself what might be up with you, then he showed you a piece of paper: "I wrote him a goodbye letter from you. Maybe this will stop him from searching for you." Surprised you took and read it: "Dear Zac, I'm sorry but I can't live like this anymore. I wish you the best. Love, (Y/N)." "Did I hit your tone?", he asked and you just nodded, placing the paper on the kitchen table. Your eyes rested on an old picture from you and Zac. He had an arm around your shoulders and kissed you on the cheek. It felt wrong for you to go now, to just leave him since you always hoped he would get better again. But deep inside you knew that you had lost him. Crowley laid his hands on your shoulder and turned you around: "We need to go now. He doesn't deserve this look on your face.", he said caring and before you knew it he had teleported you with him. A bit dizzy you looked around in the new room. It smelled and looked like a hotel room, there was one small bed beside a window, a little nightstand next to it and another door on the opposite, you guessed that there would be a bathroom behind. "This was the best I could get in this short time, I hope it's okay, my queen.", Crowley said as he scratched his head. You walked over to the bed, acting like you overheard his nickname for you and placed your bag on it. "It's fine, don't worry.", you answered and failed to hide a smile. The way he cared for you was so sweet and made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "Are you going to stay with me the next days?", you asked with a bit of hope in your voice. " No, I have some business to do. I'm sorry, darling", he answered and you sighted in disappointment. "But I'm going to leave two of my men here. They will watch after you and protect you from Zac." He snapped his fingers and two men appeared in the room, next to the door. Crowley walked over to you, bend forward and whispered in your ear: "Don't go outside alone and don't do something stupid. I know you. Be a good girl, for me, okay?" Shivers ran down your body at his words and the way his breath hit your ear: "Okay..." Your gaze rested on his lips as he returned to his upright position, suddenly feeling the burning desire to kiss him. Little did you know that he felt the same way, but he turned around and grinned to himself. "Watch after her and don't leave her alone.", he ordered his minions and they nodded. Then he turned back to you: " I have to go now. Goodbye, darling.", he bowed slightly and disappeared. Sighting you threw yourself on to the bed, exhausted and looked at the clock: 6 o'clock in the morning, no wonder that you were tired. As you tried to recall everything that had happened in the last hours, your eyes closed and you drifted off into a restless sleep.

A loud crash woke you up, someone groaned in pain and something fell to the ground. It took you some seconds to realize that you weren't at home anymore and that this probably wasn't just a drunk Zac, but also a really angry one. You jumped out of the bed, ready to defend yourself, sick of always letting him beat you up. In the light of the lantern which shined through the window, you could see two bodies lying on the floor, they didn't move or made any sounds. Fear crawled under your skin as you realized that your bodyguards were dead. You didn't know if Zac actually killed the demons or if they just left in fear. "Hello, (Y/N).", he said and your muscles tensioned by his cold voice. "Why have you left me? Don't you love me anymore?" With every step he made towards you, you took one back until you hit the wall behind you: "Leave... Leave me alone!", you stuttered, feeling your pulse rising as he stood so near to you. His hand grabbed you by your throat and pushed you against the wall, making it difficult for you to breath. " You think you can just walk away from me? Just write a goodbye letter and be gone?", the pressure on your throat increased. "Oh, how wrong you were. I'm not gonna let you go, my princess." Tears swell up in your eyes, hearing him using your old nickname. Formerly, when he called you this you could hear his love for you in his voice, but now you could only here obsession. "Please don't hurt me...", you whispered between short breaths and sobbing. "I'm sorry, but you're the one who made this ugly.", he answered and the next second his first hit your stomach, knocking all the air out of your lungs before he pushed you to the ground. Coughing you tried to get your breath back, the room around you was blurry and you couldn't straighten your upper body since your stomach hurt so much. You heard him unbuckle his belt and flinched as he snapped the leather against each other. He kneeled down in front of you and grabbed your face, squeezing your cheeks: "Are you going to come back with me now?" You thought about every option, but everyone was even worse than the one before. 'Crowley!', you screamed his name in your head, hoping that he would somehow hear you. Zac shouted something but you didn't hear it, you tried to shut everything out, cried Crowley's name over and over again in your head and became numb of the pain as Zac hit you with his belt. Suddenly the hitting stopped and everything was silent, scared you dared to look up. Zac stood there with his arm raised, the belt in his hand. Crowley stood behind him, holding his arm in place. It was like the time had frozen at this moment. You didn't dare to speak. Zac, who had turned his head towards Crowley didn't dare to speak. And Crowley, whose eyes were red, didn't need to speak. "I could kill you.", he broke the silence. "I just need to snap my fingers and you would be dead." Scared and angry Zac freed himself from Crowley's grip, letting the belt fall to the ground. "Please don't, Crowley...", you begged with a shaky voice and stood up. Both of you looked at each other, he felt your pain and it took him all he had to hold himself back. "You know him?!", Zac suddenly yelled and you flinched. " Did I fell down the stairs because of you?! You made a deal with him, didn't you?" Crowley answered for you before you even knew what to say: "No, she didn't. She wasn't as bloody stupid as you to make a deal with me. But you are right in one point, I'm responsible for your fall. And I hope it had hurt." All the anger and hatred Crowley had for Zac swang in his voice as he spoke the last sentence. "By the way, I just decided to claim your soul today.", Crowley started in an ice-cold voice and smiled evilly after he saw the fear crawling into Zac as he heard a loud growl from behind him. "I would recommend you to run. My little hellhound is fast." Juliet [In case you didn't know, Crowley named his hellhound Juliet] growled again, dangerously and Zac ran off, as fast as he could, slamming the door after him which Juliet tore down seconds after as she jumped through it. It was silent again. You stared at the door in shock. Not sure if you were happy or sad about what just happened. Suddenly all the pain rushed over you, mentally and physically and the tears, which you were holding back for so long streamed down your cheeks. Loud sobbing you collapsed to the ground. Crowley caught you, embracing you as you both sat on the ground now. "It's okay, I'm here, no one can hurt you know.", he whispered calming as he held you in his arms. Crying you pressed yourself against his chest, sobbing and sniffing and realizing that it wasn't just because of the pain, but also because of relief. It was over. You wouldn't come home to an angry boyfriend anymore who yelled at you every day and hit you. You wouldn't come home in fear anymore. You could finally live again.

......................................................................

"Thank you...", you mumbled into his shirt as the tears stopped rolling down your face. Crowley cupped your face between his hands as he lifted your chin to make you look at him. Your cheeks were red and your eyes puffy, probably making you look like a fish but his eyes got softer and a small smile appeared on his lips. Gently he placed a warm kiss on your forehead and then pulled you back into a tight embrace. This time it was you who smiled. Sometimes actions do say more than words...❤

......................................................................

Sooo, this was it! I hope you enjoyed this one-shot, and yes I know, it's pretty long (I really didn't mean to write so much!) The ending is separated by the way because I first wanted to finish it with the sentence "You could finally live again", but I thought some fluff at the end wouldn't be bad ;)

#supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #crowley #king of hell #crowley x reader #supernatural crowley #x reader fanfiction #x reader #fanfiction

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maknaes-and-hyungs · 6 years ago

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Study Hard(Crack Version)

Pairing: Namjoon X Reader

Group: BTS

Genre: angst, fluff, Crack au

Description:Y/N needed help getting her grade up, so she kidnaps biggest boyband leader Kim Namjoon??? Hilarity ensues 🤪 (Renfox)

**Warning: Kidnapping is contained in this**

Note: A normal version will be coming when idk and im sorry that after 3 months this is what i’m posting. It’s not my usual style or thing but um i guess enjoy~Rin

“Oh shit ya girl got a 69!!!!!!!!”You walked into the common room of your dorm and dabbed aggressively as your roommates all silently prayed for your health. One of them, your best friend, slapped you in the back of the head and you fell face first into the floor.

“Dumbass. If you fail this class you’ll be behind on credits which means no more soccer even if it’s just pick up and you won’t be able to be keeper.”

“I’m already a keeper,uwu!” You did a peace sign over your eye and avoided the pillows thrown at you as you went into your room. As much as you joked you knew she was right and you had to do something. Of course it wouldn’t be studying more that hadn’t worked so far. If you’re roommates weren’t as dumb as you maybe you could get help, but alas you guys were the dumb ass squad.

You put your phone on the charger and started playing BTS from your computer. Namjoon’s solo reflection came on and you instantly knew what to do. He was supposed to be smart right, why not just kidnap him? There was a fansign today only one block away where you worked and you could probably get in easily.

“Alright well what bad can come of this?”You quickly changed into uniform and made sure to cover up with a long coat. It was normal for you to show up on your days off cause you always forgot one thing or another so your co-worker watching the door, to keep out waiting fans, let you in without question.

Whenever talent was doing a fansign or whatever they always stayed in the backroom before heading out. Before going in there you ditched your coat in the staff room and put on a serious, what you would describe as a work like look and strode in. All 7 members looked up to you and you had to catch yourself from accidentally saying fuck me.

“Hello. Your manager says he needs to talk with um...Namjoon I think it was?”You scratched the back of your head as if you were embarrassed to not who they were. The leader looked surprised but set down his phone, thank god, agreed to follow you. However you told him his manager had went out back to get more privacy and you led him to the rear exterior door.

You didn’t know what you were thinking when you had rushed into this whole thing without a plan more defined then just kidnap. You sure as hell weren’t strong enough to knock him out and you hadn’t even grabbed anything heavy to do that with. So you did the next worst thing, you stepped out with him letting the door shut behind you and blurted out the stupidest shit ever.

“I PEED MYSELF!”Namjoon slowly turned to you with a look that could only be described as what the fuck.

“I-I’m sorry?”

“It happened after we left the backroom. I haven’t had a break all day and thought I was gonna be okay. I was gonna take you to your manager but I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.” Your hands flew to your crotch as you covered up the lack of a wet patch and he looked before realizing what you were doing and his eyes snapped back to yours.

“I’d give you my jacket, but its back in the room. Just let me get it and-”He tugged on the door handle but it just clanged loudly without budging, it had locked.”Do you have keys?”

“Only managers have keys and I’m just a regular old employee.” Thank god those thugs had been hanging out back here again. The manager had decided to lock the back doors to make sure they wouldn’t try getting in that way.

“Okay well we can just go around front-”

“The fans are out there and I don’t know if you realize but I can’t be your bodyguard. I live a block away if you’ll escort me I can get changed and give you a disguise to get back in.”

“Why don’t I just call one of the guys to come get us? Except your problem and...okay lets go lead the way.”Thank god he was such a considerate human being or else you were about to be fucked to kingdom come. Thankfully you had about five minutes to figure out how you were gonna keep him at your dorm long enough to help you get smart.

Just as you were coming upon your door an epiphany hit you. Last october your friend had went as a sexy cop and she had borrowed her dads real handcuffs. Of course she lost them and got in big trouble, but what no one knew was that you had found them stuffed inside your peanut butter jar in your room. Since they had already been written off and it wouldn’t help her out you kept them cause why not.

“I have roommates who are big bts fans so we need to be quiet.”Not to mention this is technically a kidnapping so wouldn’t want to wake him up.You laughed to yourself at the terrible joke and opened your front door slowly. The coast seemed clear so the both of you crept in.

Your room was the first on to the left, but you had to access it thorough the lounge which was the hub. Sadly the lounge never seemed to be empty unless it was 3 am and it was currently around 11 am. Thankfully it was your roommate you all called bitty. She was the laziest out of all of you and wouldn’t move even if the whole building was burning. Unless there were hot wings, then nothing could stop the ravenous monster she turned into.

“OMG IS THAT MY HOT WINGS!!!”Bitty jumped up on the couch and turned around and got into a pounce ready stance. In your panic all you could do was rip Namjoons glasses of his face and through them into the open bathroom door. You heard a plop, oh well shit happens.

“Hey biterino.”

“Never call me that again. Also who is that?”Like you said, dumbass squad,”Oh this is just scott.”

“I thought he looked familiar but I guess not,” Dumbass.Squad. With that over you thought you were safe until another roommate of yours,charlie, walked in from the kitchen. This time you were in front of your door and you shoved Namjoon inside not caring for his safety.

“Y/N tell Bitty to share the couch.”

“Just pee on her and assert your dominance. We have talked about this so many times why don’t you just do it.” The death glare you received let you know you weren’t wanted and you were finally able to escape into your room. Namjoon stood in the center awkwardly looking around at everything.

“You can sit over here.” As Namjoon followed you to the chair you reached in your drawer and pulled out the handcuffs. Within a second you had his arm connected to the chair and he wasn’t going anywhere.

“What the hell? You’re a saseng aren’t you? You don’t even have a stain on your pants. Please don’t hurt me-”

“No I’m just stupid when it comes to computer sciences and your smart so I thought if I kidnapped you that you could tutor me.”

“I DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT CODING!!!!!!!” You rolled your eyes and grabbed an extra chair near your dresser along with your back pack.

“So? You’re smart and can teach me how to be productive. Also I gotta week before my exam and I need to raise my grade to a C. I gotta 69�� You wiggled your eyebrows at him not reading the situation at all. You had just kidnapped a man who was a celebrity and was always being threatened by crazy fans. Still 69 was a sex number and you were legally obligated to make a joke or a face whenever it was said.

“If I help you can you let me go? All I can do is give you study strategies I hope that’s enough.”

“I don’t know where the key to these are but I have a blowtorch in my underwear drawer so I guess I can let you go.” A few moments went by where you blankly stared at Namjoon and he looked like he was about to hemorrhage from sheer confusion,” Oh why do I have one of those? Well I needed to cook grilled cheese and I was using my pan as a trap in the cleaning supply closet. And well no one besides me ever cleans so it took a while for it to be set off.”

“You hit one of your roommates with a pan?”

“No. I forgot I put it there and I needed to clean up a spill in the kitchen. I was in the hospital for a couple of days, but now I am up one blowtorch so you tell me who really lost here.”

“Y-you?”

“Anyways lets get back to the matter at hand. Me getting a good grade in computer sciences. I’m usually smart and get A’s but I we took a quick break and I found this site where a killer whale follows your mouse,”Namjoon nodded slowly really not following where the story was going,”so I’ve spent the entire semester trying to get it to dance various kpop dances and rating them based on viability. I have a whole spreadsheet with various graphs, points of data, a code that predicts success rate and a comprehensive-”

“You did that all for a stupid whale but you cant get a passing grade.” You nodded and he groaned loudly wishing he could be anywhere but here, “Okay I am gonna show you how to study and maybe apply this whale thing to your class since you can’t seem to get past it.” You went for a celebratory fist bump and he reluctantly did it before getting started.

You actually started to get somewhere and could see why he was so smart. Hours passed and you both forgot that he had even been kidnapped. It took so long that you went to get snacks and found the key in the silverware drawer so you released Namjoon when you got back. He didn’t leave though instead continuing to tutor you.

“Okay so if you keep your colors limited and leave spaces for later you can test yourself later.”

“Why would I test myself when I already am tested in class.”

“I want to strangle you.”

“Go ahead daddy.”You smirked at him and he let his head drop onto the desk with a thud that told you it had hurt,”Damn can you hit me like that?”

Namjoon started to raise his head to, presumably, murder you when another one of your roommates threw open the door,”This bitch empty yeet.” and proceeded to throw herself down on your bed. In the background you heard someone haw and no investigation was needed to figure out who that was.

“How do you live here and get grades higher than 5 like-”

“Wait isn’t that...does Tabbs know that namjoon is in your room.”Harmony stared eerily quiet as you said nothing for a few seconds.

“Um...This is scott. He has aids and really has to go.” You pulled namjoon up and pushed him out of your dorm and down the stairs. Hopefully he wouldn’t call the police.(im sorry i rushed this ik its bad)

For: @sableaura @harmony991721 @hopeless-reckless-but-so-lovable @charlie-hatsune @kawaii-ing

#namjoon #kim namjoon #bts crack #namjoon crack #terrible #please dont read

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unlimitedskyeproductions · 6 years ago

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100 Random Things About Blake Riley

(I got bored at 4 am so I wrote down some stuff about my OCs This is not the only 100 Random Things sheet that I have so that should warn you of what's to come) 1: his full name is Blake Riley Bates but he always goes by first and middle names rather than first and last 2: 25 years old 3: birthday is February 15th 4: born on a Saturday at 4:37 AM 5: blood type is O-Negative 6: he was involved in a public bombing by terrorists which left nore than 75% of his body completely mangled and destroyed so he had to be fixed up with robotic prosthetics and as a result he's super self-conscious about the fact that he's "not a complete human" 7: favorite color is, obviously, red 8: GAY AS FUCK but super subtle about it despite being way too flamboyant to be legal 9: LOVES FASHION 10: also loves shopping because like ;;;;; pretty clothes are awesome 11: loves roses and if you give him one he'll love you forever 12: he's generally pretty chill about shit but if you mess with someone he cares about then be prepared to get punched with a robot arm 13: he pretends he doesn't believe in supernatural stuff like ghosts but if he hears a weird noise in the middle of the night he'll probably want to move out the next morning 14: hates coffee but ironically loves coffee cake 15: always a little cold??? for some reason??? 16: he likes to poke people and make them shiver 17: likes being cuddled 18: LOVES spooning when he cuddles someone and he really doesn't care whether he's the big spoon or the little spoon as long as he's cuddling 19: really flirtatious and totally not shy about it like at all 20: he loves spoiling the people he loves and making them feel happy 21: he'll flirt with you all day if you let him but as soon as YOU start flirting with HIM he just becomes this dorky little blushing mess and it's adorable 22: WILL. FUCKING. NOT. stand for people insulting his physical appearance 23: loves peanut butter but not peanuts 24: he can't really swim all that well but he's very good at floating 25: like he can swim properly without drowning but just not all that gracefully (he looks like a fish out of water when he's in the water) 26: has a really weird obsession with snow globes??? he collects them and owns over 50 and they're all alphabetized 27: possibly a bit autistic but Nobody Really Knows For Sure 28: he's a fucking genius (seriously his IQ is fucking insane) 29: it's easy to turn him on but it's really hard to make him calm down afterwards 30: you could literally bump into him at a weird angle and there's a 50/50 chance he'll just randomly get a boner from that alone 31: when he gets going he'll kinda whine and try to flirt with you until you give in but in reality he'd never force you into something you don't feel like doing 32: if he happens to get riled up but has nobody who'll do anything about it (or just doesn't feel like it) he'll end up reading smutty novels all night 33: an incredibly passionate lover 34: he doesn't know the meaning of personal space and he'll just come up behind you for no reason and invade your space with hugs 35: he owns 23 pairs of shoes in total and 18 pairs of them have high heels 36: he's not really a blanket hog but if he goes to bed before you do you're sure as fuck not getting that blanket 37: loves spending time with kids (he really wants to be a daddy) 38: loves pickles for some reason 39: he will literally eat an entire jar of pickles all in one go and then drink the juice when he's done 40: he's really weird about people invading his personal space when he doesn't want them to 41:dO nOT tOUCH hIS hAIR wITHOUT cONSENT oR hE wILL sLAP yOU 42: always sings really shitty pop songs in the shower 43: he rarely watches anime ever at all but he fucking LOVES Sailor Moon 44: he went to a costume party one year before the "incident" and he literally dressed up like Sailor Mars 45: full miniskirt and everything and he looked fucking gorgeous???? but why wouldn't he honestly 46: his weakness is caramel and caramel chocolate and basically anything with caramel in it 47: he's not super clingy but he'll insist on really long hugs before leaving to go home or like do thngs (and I'm talking about super close full-body pressing against each other bear hugs for five minutes -minimum-) 48: he often has recurring nightmares about the "incident" and it's actually not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night crying 49: this happens anywhere between twice in four months to six nights per week for nearly a year 50: when this happens he requires lots of gentle cuddles and sweet words of reassurance that he's okay 51: he acts super flamboyant and sassy but in reality he's the most sensitive man you'll ever meet 52: it's super easy to hurt his feelings so please watch your tongue when you're around this sweet little redhead 53: it's totally not uncommon for him to just randomly start blasting Britney Spears on the stereo with the volume all the way up 54: loves wearing sexy lingerie and just feeling pretty 55: there's rarely a time when his nails aren't painted (never any color but red) 56: he's an expert at beer pong for some reason 57: also a master at bottle flipping and mario kart 58: has three sisters named Tanya, Sharon and Abigaile 59: he acts all pure and classy when in reality he owns a hardcover copy of 50 shades of grey and he's read it at least 30 times by this point 60: never goes anywhere without checking himself out in the mirror 5 times first 61: he has a really bad issue with never shutting up during movies 62: if he thinks of something funny to say he'll lean over and whisper it to whoever he's watching the movie with and this will happen every few minutes during the entre movie 63: he's a virgin but like????? he sure as fuck doesn't want to be at this age 64: SUPER fucking ticklish 65: worst spots are his sides and his stomach 66: he has a really sweet and pretty laugh, almost like music 67: he gets really smarmy whenever he starts tickling someone (sort of like he gets a rush outta teasing them) 68: he doesn't often start tickle fights but holy shit he'll fucking end them 69: generally always an uke rather than a seme 70: he's that one friend who'll come over to your house at 3 am because he made ramen noodles and wants to know if you want some 71: can play the violin and the piano beautifully 72: it's super easy to make him cry but he'll never actually cry in front of anyone, he'll just politely excuse himself from the room when he gets upset and go into a random room and sob his heart out until he feels better (quietly, of course) 73: has the mindset of "if you like me I'll let you bother me, but if I don’t like you then fuck off in a fire" 74: despite that he's super nice to everyone unless provoked 75: bacon is honestly his muse 76: he'll eat an entire pack of that shit for breakfast and he'd honestly eat more than a single pack if you let him 77: if you don't watch him carefully he'll wander off and go missing for the whole damn day, and when he comes back it's with an entire car full of shopping bags because guess what he went on aNOTHER fucking shopping spree 78: he's super high maintenance but at the same time he isn't??? 79: like he's just as excited with a super expensive jewelry gift as he is with a bag of burgers from McDonald's 80: he's weird like that 81: he'll pretty much eat anything he can get his hands on and his metabolism is scarily high so he never gains any extra weight despite the fact that if he didn't have that high metabolism he'd honestly be like 400 pounds at this point because he loves food and can't control himself 82: loves cute things 83: also loves soft and fluffy things 84: always wants to dress up his friends in cute clothes and do their hair (and their makeup if they're girls) 85: his parents have no idea he's gay but his sisters do and they're very supportive of him 86: his dad is a super strict military man so like????? He's Fucking Terrified To Tell Him 87: there's honestly never a time where he doesn’t want to go shopping 88: you could call him at 6 am and be like "hey there's an awesome new shoe store that just opened" and he'd be pounding on your door not even fifteen minutes later like "BITCH GET YOUR COAT WE'RE GOING SHOE SHOPPING" 89: despite everything he's actually really super shy and it's really hard for him to talk to people and make friends 90: but once he trusts you he relaxes and he's able to act like himself 91: loves flowers 92: he's absolutely insufferable when he gets sick but at the same time he also apologizes profusely for being so snappish 93: once spent an entire night chained to a radiator 94: he never talks about it but he's made it very clear that he was NOT kidnapped 95: he may or may not own a whip and a tazer 96: for practical use only, of course 97: loves sweets and candy 98: when he gets excited he acts like he has ADHD and can't focus on anything 99: probably knows the lyrics to every Lady Gaga song by heart 100: in general he's a great guy and a loyal friend

#unlimitedskyeproductions #blake riley #oc info #i did this instead of sleeping

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adotblog · 7 years ago

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Onesies

Pairing: LMM x Reader

Warnings: Slightly NSFW (boobs!), Alcohol.

Notes: A dear friend told me onesies were sexy. I disputed this fact and then tried to write about it and dammit she was right and I was wrong. If you like it, please leave a note or reblog, it means so much.

Words: Oh, far too many.

***************************************************************

Jasmine: Tomorrow night, my place, movie night. Bring your onesie and sleep over.

Daveed: Onesies? Sleepover? Jazzy we’re grownups you know

Jasmine: SO THE HOT CHOCOLATE WILL HAVE BRANDY IN IT.

You think for all of three seconds.

Y/N: IN

Lin: And I!

Pippa: I have spare onesies if anyone needs one?

Y/N: Can I just wear my pjs? Onesies are always about a foot too long for me lol

Jasmine: Of course. All you regular-sized people have to wear one though.

Y/N: Rude. I’ll bring brownies.

Oak: I heard brownies. In.

Daveed: I’ll bring the brandy.

******************************

“Jazzy, It’s Y/N...I gotta tell you about last night...”

“Last one here?”, Lin asked as you pulled your coat around you at the back door. “Oh, yeah I had argument with one of the pulleys”, you grumble. Lin laughs “Did you win?”, he asks as he opens the door and holds it for you. “Yeah but it made for a damn long day with no breaks”, you say as you emerge into the crisp night air. He stops on the top step “Oh no! You didn’t get any dinner?”, he asks, looking genuinely concerned. You shrug in response. “Alright I’m going to get you some kind of food, right now. Pizza!”, he decides. “Lin, you don’t need to buy me dinner.”, you smile. “What if I already wanted to and this is just a convenient turn of events?” he says, face suddenly serious and soft.

Shocked, it takes you a second to respond. “Well, then I’m glad I argued with the pulley”, you respond. He grins and holds out a hand to help you down the steps. You take it, and he doesn’t let go once you’re on the sidewalk. He pulls you to the crosswalk “Come on, I know a place”.

****************************************

An hour later you leave the pizza place, having long outstayed your welcome. Lin takes your hand again as you giggle about the staff all staring you down til you left. He insists on walking you to your subway.

“Here I am”, you say, indicating your station. Lin stops just short of the entrance and says “This was fun, do you think I could take you out properly, maybe Monday? Maybe at a more reasonable hour for the serving staff involved?”, he grins. This whole thing has been so surreal-was Lin Miranda really asking you out?

“You‘re asking me on a date?”, you can’t keep a grin from your face. “Yeah...I like you”, Lin says. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. Be. Cool. “I think I like you too.”, you say and move a little closer to him, one hand on his coat. He reaches for you, his hands coming to rest on your hips. You feel your stomach do some kind of somersault when his gaze flits to your lips.

You raise up on your toes to press your lips to his. It’s quick, chaste, full of uncertainty. You look at him, wonder if that was a huge mistake. He gives the tiniest smile before he dips his head to kiss you. Really kiss you. Your hand goes to his neck as his tongue runs against your bottom lip and you open your mouth to him. My god he’s an excellent kisser. Why is it so late, why are you stuck at a subway entrance? Why aren’t you somewhere warm and cosy that you can just do this for...oh, hours.

But, you’re not. And someone jostles you and tuts as they push past to get to the stairs. It’s a rude end to a beautiful kiss but it makes you both laugh. “Text me when you’re home?”, Lin says with a smile, arms still around you. You nod and he kisses your forehead. “G’night, Lin”.

*****************************************

A sleepover. What a ridiculous idea. What a brilliant idea. You’ve planned getting to Jasmine’s early so you can properly catch her up on yesterday and so you can change into your pjs before anybody else gets there. You place the last of the brownies into boxes and pack them into your bag. You check the time and head off for the subway.

You’re the first to arrive and Jas is already looking glorious in a unicorn onesie. “Jas, how the hell do you make that look sexy?”, you ask. She shrugs as she dances around the kitchen. “Brownies?”, she asks over her shoulder. You pull out the boxes and open them up. “These are plain, these are peanut butter cup”, you gesture. “Peanut butter cup? What the fuck. That sounds delicious!”, she says as she starts to arrange them on plates.

You follow Jasmine’s instructions for making the base batch of hot chocolate and then help her set up the fixings on the counter- marshmallows, sprinkles, whipped cream, fudge and caramel sauces-all while you get her up to date on Lin.

Just as you finish Pippa buzzes at the door. When she comes in she’s laden down with bags. “I brought a lot of onesies!”, she laughs as she hugs Jasmine. “Y/N I think I have one that will fit you...”, she says playfully. “Is it a child’s?”, you deadpan, causing both girls to laugh. She hands you one and you head off to Jasmine’s bedroom to try it on.

When you pull it out it’s a cat, kind of. It has pointy ears and a face on the hood but no tail. You roll your eyes but strip off your outfit to try it anyway. It is a little long in the leg but it has cuffs so you’re not going to trip over it. It’s a little close fitting but still comfortable. You fasten the last popper and head out to show the girls.

“Hey,” you call as you come through the door, looking down at your new feline outfit “are you supposed to just wear your underwear under one of these things or what? Cos I feel kinda nake...”. You stop dead in your tracks, verbally and physically as the first face you see is Lin’s. He must have arrived while you were in there.

You blush a ridiculous shade of pink and mutter “Oh god.” as Jas and Pippa double over with laughter. Lin comes to your rescue “All I know is”, he looks you up and down “you’re wearing it right.”. He offers you a grin and a wink and you feel slightly less mortified.

“You’re...a ninja turtle, ha!”, you observe. “I mean technically they’re pjs but I have the matching hat so...”, he says as he strikes a pose.

It’s at that moment that everyone else seems to arrive in one noisy bundle of nightwear. Oak, Daveed and Anthony all have their onesies on already and strut their stuff through Jasmine’s living room like it’s a catwalk. “Daveed, is that a llama?”, you ask, head cocked to one side to try and figure it out. Daveed sighs and you sense this isn’t the first time he’s had to explain: “It is a SHEEP.”. His tone is so indignant that you all have to stifle laughs. “And you are wearing... a cat?”, he questions. You pull up your hood and answer, “I think so-hood suggests yes, but”, you turn around and point to your butt “no tail!”. Daveed smirks a little and says quietly “Looks just fine to me”, as he brushes past you to place a bottle of brandy next to the hot chocolate. You blush and busy yourself with sorting out some cups.

Jasmine appears at your side and whispers “Lin’s face when Daveed said that...”. You whip your head around but by now he’s talking to Pippa. Jasmine offers round mugs and tells everyone to come and get their fixings. Daveed places himself in charge of brandy and Pippa grabs the whipped cream as Anthony and Jasmine fight over sprinkles. Daveed approaches and offers you the brandy so you hold out your mug Lin walks up as Daveed begins to pour a generous measure and says “Woah! You trying to get our girl drunk, Diggs?” as he places an arm around your shoulder. Daveed looks from you, to Lin and the arm on your shoulder and does the requisite maths. “Nah man, nah. You want some?” he asks. Lin declines and you thank Daveed as he moves on. When he’s out of earshot you turn to Lin and whisper “Were you jealous?!”, amused and disbelieving. Lin scrunches his face as he removes his hat. “Eh, maybe?”, he groans. You shake your head with a smile and squeeze his hand.

Jasmine hollers for everyone to pick the first movie and you move to join everyone in front of the tv. Except there’s only one chair left. “We can squish.”, says Lin and leads you over to the group by your hand. You notice Oak notice the handholding, and everyone notices when lin sits in the chair and motions for you to sit on his lap or squish in beside him. You perch on the arm of the chair, feet in his lap and curled against the wall and the back of the chair. You sip your boozy hot chocolate while everyone else argues about which movie to pick.

They settle on a horror movie. Normally you’d not be especially keen but you’re far too distracted to even pay much attention. Firstly, you’re having to watch the position of your feet carefully since they’re dangerously close to Lin’s crotch. You’re also aware that Pippa is trying to subtly check you two out, looking for signs of romance presumably. You’re careful to stay perched in your corner but as the movie starts and Jasmine turns out the lights, Lin’s hand moves up to rest on your thigh.

When the big jump scares come, you grab his hand and he squeezes it, looking up at you to make sure you’re ok. Daveed and Oak keep a commentary going, calling out the unrealistic effects and corny dialogue. Jasmine shushes them each time. Pippa just quietly watches, eyes flitting around the room each time it gets scary, checking everyone is ok.

When the movie ends there are mixed reviews-Oak thinks it was passable, the girls liked it, Anthony and Lin thought it was only ok. Jasmine offers round drinks and brings out your brownies (“Damn, I’ve been looking forward to these all day!”, declares Oak). The peanut butter cup ones are demolished even before the next movie is picked-Daveed has two, one after the other and declares you a “goddamn culinary ARTIST”. Lin concurs and Pippa can’t talk because her mouth is full.

It’s decided that the next movie needs to be a little lighter since it’s getting closer to bedtime and Jasmine says she doesn’t want everyone having nightmares. A mild comedy is chosen and everyone settles in-Daveed is stretched out on his side across Jasmine’s rug, Anthony and Jasmine are cuddled on one sofa and Oak and Pippa are at opposite ends of the other small sofa, Pippa’s feet tucked under her.

It’s literally only about ten minutes before Oak’s head has lolled back and he’s gently snoring. You giggle quietly as Pippa mimes poking him and you wave at her to leave him alone. Daveed is next, you notice his head slowly descend into his arm and you signal to Jasmine, who leans over and confirms with a grin and a nod that he’s gone. It’s at this point Lin wraps his arms around you and gently pulls you down from the chair arm to sit on his lap. You’re a tiny bit embarrassed at the public affection but Jasmine is already aware of your kiss and that means Anthony is too, and Pippa has been assessing the situation all night, so you relax into Lin’s body. He’s warm and comforting and you wonder if you might be next to succumb to sleep. Then you hear Pippa snoring softly. Jasmine rolls her eyes and gets up to get a throw from the back of your chair. She unfolds it over Pippa and tenderly moves her hair away from her face. Then she returns to you and whispers “Watch to the end if you like, we’re turning in. You guys can take the guest room at the end of the hall-there are extra blankets in the closet”. She kisses your cheek and whispers goodnight to Lin, then leads Anthony to her room. You honestly hadn’t thought about sleeping arrangements being anything other than everybody camping out on the floor-and now you’re presented with the option of trying to sleep in an armchair or sharing a bed with Lin. It’s a little weird.

You turn around slightly to face Lin. “You wanna watch the end of this?”, you ask-kind of hoping he says no. He shakes his head so you stand and, picking your way around Daveed, find the remote and turn the tv off. Then you beckon to Lin to follow you, since you’ve stayed at Jasmine’s place before and you’re guessing he hasn’t.

You walk out of the living room and to the far end of the hallway. You feel your way to the lamp at the side of the bed and switch it on-it’s dim but at least neither of you will trip over. Lin closes the door and stands beside you kind of awkwardly, looking at the bed. “Uhh, I didn’t know what the sleeping arrangements were...”, you clarify. “No, no-me neither”, he says.

He turns towards you. “I could go back to the chair”, he offers, gesturing back towards the door. You shake your head no. Then you sit on the bed and hold a hand out for him to join you. As soon as he’s beside you his lips are on yours. It’s worth having had to wait all day for it. His mouth moves softly against yours and as you bring your hand up to tangle in his hair you open your mouth and press your tongue against his. He’s honestly an incredible kisser, he seems to know just what you need, just when to change the pace. The butterflies in your tummy leap and you know you need more from him this time.

You lean back, pulling him with you so that you’re lying side by side on the bed. He pulls your body slightly closer, his eyes searching yours for a second. “You’ll tell me if something’s not ok?”, he asks. “Lin, I’m a grown woman-believe me, I’ll tell you what I want”, you say as you grab his shirt to pull him back to you.

Lin groans in surprise as you kiss him again, harder now, more demanding. His hands roam down your back and you raise one of your legs to hook over his. He takes the invitation to run a hand over your ass and down your thigh and in return your hands find his waist and slip under the tank top he’s wearing to brush the smooth skin underneath.

He moans into your mouth a little as your hands move over him and that just makes you want to touch and taste more of him. You break the kiss to move your mouth down to his neck, which earns you a gasp, Lin’s grip on your thigh tightening. He instinctively grabs your ass to pull your groin into his, which makes you pull back from his neck-he mistakenly reads this as reluctance and releases his hold on you. “I’m sorry, I just-you’ve had me worked up since I got here and you were talking about whether you were wearing anything under that onesie...”, he half-laughs. “I wasn’t gonna ask you to stop”, you say as you take his hand and bring it up to the front of the onesie. “Find out what’s underneath.”, you say. “Fuck”, he says breathily and stares at you a second before he gently pushes your shoulder so you roll onto your back on the mattress. He leans over you slightly and pops the first two snaps. He kisses the skin at the top of your chest that is now exposed, then kissing your neck, he moves to the next snap. Pop. Pop.

Now two more are undone and when he pushes the fabric aside, you are exposed right down to your waist. He leans back to look at you, he takes in the teal lace of your bra and places a hand across your stomach. He kisses you hungrily now, his desire for you evident. He moves his hand slowly up your body to cup your breast. He strokes his thumb across the lace over your nipple and it hardens in response as you arch your back with pleasure. He moves over you, slipping both hands under the onesie and around your naked waist. His lips follow where his hands have been as he kisses his way across your breasts. He laves his tongue over your lace-covered nipple then

CRASH.

Just outside the door there’s a thud. You both jump away from each other and hear Jasmine emerging from her room. “Oak, are you Ok?”. Oak curses, presumably having tripped, and apologises for waking her. As you and Lin remain completely still and quiet, they laugh and chat for a minute then say goodnight again.

By the time the scene has played out, your moment with Lin has gone. You look at each other and laugh as he rolls to his side of the bed and you pop your onesie back together again. You turn towards him and he holds out his arm for you to cuddle into him. You press a kiss to his lips and say goodnight before you tuck your head against his chest, smiling to yourself. Lin waits until you are asleep before he lets himself start to drift off. He kisses the top of your head and sleepily whispers”Sweet Dreams”.

*****************************************

#lin manuel x reader #lin manuel imagine #lmm x reader #rpf #hamilcast rpf #hamilcast x reader #hamilcast imagine #hamilton fanfic

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tea-and-toblerones · 7 years ago

Text

The One Where Ed Gets Creative With Some Frosting | A One Shot

Happy Christmas Eve everybody! Let’s celebrate with some sexy times with Teddy.

Rated M for Smuts

It had been a week since you and Ed had went drunken caroling and you two hadn’t even touched the decorations since then. You spent the next day re-cooperating, taking care of each other. You both had different hangover cures so the two of you shuffled around the kitchen gathering the things the two of you needed to feel better. Ed swore on a ginger beer first thing then pancakes. You always went for sprite or 7 up with a bowl of ramen, loaded with hot sauce. After your breakfast you both laid on the couch, passing a ice bag between the two of you. You had smeared Vicks under yours and Ed’s nose to curb the nausea.

It wasn’t until Ed brought home two gingerbread house kits did you even think about decorating. When you asked why he got two, he shrugged saying that you guys could make a deluxe house.

“I don’t think that’s how that works, but we can try it.”

You were looking over the kits, seeing what was all inside. Seemed fairly standard. You heard the paper of a second bag crinkle as he had started pulling extra supplies out of another shopping bag.

“I thought maybe we could make little cookie men to live in the cookie house. Not gingerbread men though. That would be weird.”

He had bought a variety of candies. Gumdrops, Mike and Ike’s, candy buttons, gummy worms, miniature and regular candy canes and sixlets. There was also a bunch of different frosting colors, extra food coloring to make different colors and piping bags. He even purchased cookie cutters. Not only was there the men ones, he had Dino ones, a bunch of different types of animals and shapes. Not to mention about every type of sprinkle you could think of. You wondered if the boy had bought out the entire baking aisle.

You had pulled down your battered recipe book and picked out a simple, yet delicious sugar cookie recipe. You had planned on only making one batch, yet here you were, surrounded by one batch of plain sugar cookies, one batch divided out into different colors, one batch of peanut butter and one batch of mint chocolate peanut butter. Ed being the eager student watched everything you did intently, handing you the next ingredient, reading off the directions for you in his smoothest, sexier voice he could muster. He had to repeat himself several times because you were whisked away in his silky dulcet tones.

You tossed the dough in the fridge to chill, doing a quick clean up of the kitchen before Ed drags you out to the living room to start trimming the tree. He had been sitting on floor, untangling the mess of lights. He had them plugged in so he was aglow with the multi colored lights. His face pulled in one of concentration as his fingers worked out the sad excuse of a wrap job. You had tried to keep them neat, wrapping them in an ‘o’ but much like any other type of wire they magically seemed to do the chaos cha cha in the box. You couldn’t help but snap a picture of him, planning on making a sort of scrapbook of your first Christmas together.

He had climbed onto a step ladder to wrap the lights at the top of the tree with ease. You ended up wrapping them a bit on an angle to make up for the two bare patches. The ornaments you owned were all various sizes and shades of blues, white and silver. You had forgone the garland for wispy white and teal ribbons. You had went a purchased glass icicle and snowflake ornaments to really make the tree pop. You both stood back to admire your colorful tree. The bright lights mixed with the cool blues and whites reminded you strongly of Ed’s rainbow-hued body.

“All that’s left is the star on top!” You exclaim, bringing your hands together, proud of your tree.

“Are you sure? I think we missed one.” His voice was airy, almost playing with you. He was fighting the smile that was trying to come across his face.

“You slip something in the box when I wasn’t looking?” Knowing Ed it could be a variety of things. He tried to keep his face expressionless, but the boy’s poker face could definitely use some work. He tried his best to shrug nonchalantly, but he couldn’t keep that grin off his face if his life depended on it.

You look in to see a small, flat box, wrapped in a pretty gold bow. You pick it up and look over to him. “Well what is?”

He just shrugged again. “I dunno, why don’t you open it and find out.”

You pull the ribbon loose, careful not to tear it. When you lifted the lid off you saw an ornament with the picture of the two of you posing in front of giant inflatable gingerbread man. You were laughing, your arm wrapped around him as he was beaming, his santa hat perched jaunty on his head. On the back it read Our first Christmas, with many more to come.

“Oh, Teddy, it’s perfect!” You throw your arms around him, planting your lips on his. After a couple seconds you broke away, your head spinning.

“I’m glad you like it, love. Where does it go?”

“Front and center obviously.” You point to the desired spot and he hangs it where you instructed, cramming the star on the top before climbing back down.

You take several pictures of the tree, some selfies of the two of you with the tree and one with Ed pointing out the ornament, a thumbs up and a huge smile on his face.

You had taken a break halfway through to cut the dough into shapes and start baking them off. You were checking to see if they had cooled off enough to start icing. You placed them on a plate and went to set them on the table to start decorating. When you turned around you saw Ed sitting at the table, waiting patiently to begin. He had stripped his shirt off and used the peel and stick Christmas bows as pasties. You had packed the gift wrapping stuff with the ornaments and Ed had obviously found it. He wore a cheeky grin, waiting for you to comment, but instead you acted like this was completely normal, which for Ed it was.

“Okay, we have the not gingerbread men, some trees, some snowmen, some wreaths and some plain round ones to decorate however.”

You had sat side by side, picking a not gingerbread man to start with. Ed had grabbed a round one and began. You were concentrating hard, placing little dots of frosting to use as glue for the candy buttons when you hear Ed whisper your name, so he wouldn’t startle you. When you look up to see what he had decorated, snorting because you had somehow forgotten about the holographic bow pasties he was still wearing. He motioned to the four cookies he had decorated. Four EXTREMELY dirty cookies. He had drew a pair of tits on the first one, followed by a cookie with a very crude pussy, a smile with its tongue out followed and ending with a dick, going the extra step of adding the white sticky fluid coating the head and dripping off.

“You like the sound of that baby girl?” You could hear the lust dripping off of every word. “You like the sound of my tongue on your clit? My fingers in you, working you up? My cock filling you like no other?”

You were still gripping the piping bag and had unknowingly squeezed it, causing the white frosting to shoot out and splatter all over him, sticking to his light chest hair.

You don’t miss a beat, your tongue quick to lick it off. You hear a soft moan as you move from his chest to his neck. You take your time, the little whimpers and moans were just adding fuel to your already raging fire.

“I’m going to lay you down, and the first thing I’m going to do is admire every inch of you.” His feathery tone sending shivers up your spine. “Then I’m going to tease you with my tongue. Starting with your mouth and making my way down to those gorgeous fucking tits of yours.”

Your mouth never stops moving, as you tug the fleece pajama bottoms and boxers down. You feel his muscle clench as his skin comes in contact with the wood of the chair, but otherwise there’s no indication of what you were doing.

“Once I felt like I have teased them enough, I’ll make my way down your stomach and slide my finger past your already drenched entrance making sure to just casually brush against your clit before I begin to thoroughly savor that pretty little sweet tasting cunt of yours that drives me absolutely mad.”

As he was talking you had grabbed the piping bag again, laying a line down his already erect shaft, finishing it off with a ring around the head. You hear a hitch in his voice the moment you press your tongue flat against his warm velvety skin, your hands resting on his thick muscular thighs. You look up at him from under your eyelashes as you wrap your lips around his pink head. His eyes never leave your face, his pupil dilated with arousal as you begin your slow descent down his thick cock.

“I’m going to- nnnngg- tongue and finger- oOooO- fuck you until you- Oh fuuuuck- come completely undone underneath me- Jesus fuck your mouth feels so FUCKING good, baby.”

He had given up on the dirty talk, his hand resting on the back of your head as you bobbed along. His hips thrusting up to meet you. Your eyes still locked on to his as the swears fell steadily from those gorgeous lips of his.

“Your fucking mouth works MIRACLES but it’s nothing compared to that tight pussy that’s going to be wrapped around me. Shit, how you work me up, it’s fucking intoxicating!” His hand went from resting to wound in your hair. His hips had lost what rhythm they had as he was reaching his climax. “Fuck, I’m close, I’m so fucking close…” You could feel his grip tighten right before his release hit the back of your throat. The bows had been dislodged at some point and were laying discarded on the floor along with the rest of his clothing.

You didn’t even bother leaving the kitchen. As soon as you broke away from him, he was out of the chair and pulling off your t shirt as he eased you down on the tiled floor. You tense at the coolness of the tile against your hot skin but Ed mouth quickly made you forget as he made straight for one of your pink buds. He had straddled you as he worked, you could feel the heat radiating of his bright torso as he worked. He broke away sooner than you thought, reaching up on the table, grabbing the piping bag and whichever candy he could reach without getting up, which happened to be the gumdrops. He didn’t squeeze it directly on your body, like you had did, he applied it to his finger and drug it across you torso. He added a fair amount on each one of your breasts and smeared a wide line slowly down your torso. He topped it off by placing gumdrops down the center of the line.

Just as he said, he was in no hurry. He did admire the effect of the frosting covering you. His tongue gliding over his lips as he took you in. You knew he was picturing another sticky white substance covering you. It was a kink of his, but one he hardly ever indulged in. His tongue had in fact explored every inch of your mouth before moving to your neck, leaving a trail of nips and kisses down your neck, causing you to moan.

His tongue pressed against your breast, licking off the frosting off slowly, working in a circular motion towards your nipple. Instead of taking it into his mouth like you had thought, he moved over to your other one, doing the exact same slow, clockwise movement. His mouth hovered over, his warm balmy breath causing you to shiver. You had been prepared for him to pull it up into his mouth but all he did was lightly run his tongue over the pebbled flesh before moving on to the gumdrops. His mouth came down completely over each one, his teeth just grazing your flesh as he collected each one. Every time his teeth made contact you’d shudder. You had raised your head to watch him work. Everytime he collected a piece of candy, his eyes would find yours, his state holding you captive due to the sheer amount of sex appeal it held. It was almost like he was the predator and you were his prey. The way the corners of his lips curled up was reminiscent of something playing with its meal before going in for the kill.

You could feel your need of him growing as he teased you. The candy was gone but there was still traces of frosting left behind. You could see where some had clung to his chest hair as he had made his way down your body. When his tongue did two long drags across your stomach to collect the remaining frosting you let out a shuddering moan. His finger had glided up your thigh, making its way to your wet center. When his middle finger slipped inside a moan escaped your lips,,causing him to smirk.

“Just imagine how it’s gonna feel when my cock is buried deep inside that tight little cunt of yours.” he had spoken with a seductive growl, his mouth trailing down you. His tongue pressing over your wet slit.

“I can never get enough of your delicious cunt. And you’re always drenched and dripping, just waiting for me to lick every bit of you.” everything that came out of his mouth was said slow, seductive voice.

And that’s exactly what he did. His tongue flicking across your sensitive bundle of nerves. He had been rubbing you with his thumb as he spoke, making it hard to focus on his words. You had watched his mouth as he spoke, his tongue coming over his lips, his teeth dragging across his bottom lip in anticipation.

His beard provided enough friction to drive you wild as his mouth sucked at you. His nose brushing against you as he worked in that tantalizing speed. The gentle hums he let out as he worked just added to the sensations. His fingers working you into a frenzy, your hips rocking, burying his face into you more. You loved to watch him work. Those gorgeous copper curls between your legs, just begging for you to sink your hands in. Which you do, enjoying the feel of his silky locks between your fingers. You could feel yourself teetering on the edge as he coaxed you along.

“That’s right, love. Let go for me. I can tell you want to, be a good girl for me, please?” He knew exactly what words to use, matched with the gentle yet demanding voice.

That’s all it took, your body reacting to his commands. The waves of pleasure crashing over you, your grip on him tighten as you rode out your orgasm. Constant praise coming from him as he stroked your hair. His mouth had came on yours, soft but urgent. You could feel his need for you growing with every kiss he pulled from you lips.

“Need to feel you around me baby. Can I? Please?” He gasped out as broke away from your kiss swollen lips. You nod, wanting to feel his cock buried in you, crashing relentlessly against your back wall. Your muscles clenching around him.

You could feel his thick head rubbing over you, coating himself with your fluid before positioning himself at your entrance. You gasped as his head pushed into you, your fingers digging into his shoulders as he begins driving himself into you. Little moans dropping from his mouth as he thrusts himself into you.

“Fucking shit you fit me like a goddamn glove. So fucking tight.” His voice in your ear, his hot breath on your neck causing goosebumps to come across your flesh.

His mouth was working on your neck, massaging it with his teeth, little bursts of air accompanied by a little grunt coming out every time he collided with you. His name coming out of your mouth in a moan that was steadily growing in volume. You could feel the muscles in his arms working as his thrusts became rougher. You wrapped your legs around his torso so he could reach even deeper within you. Your heels digging into the top of his ass, spurring him along as you clung to him. Your legs sliding over his sweat slick skin, making you dig your heels in even more. The sweat on his forehead gleaming under the kitchen light, causing his curls to stick to his forehead. His eyebrows drawn together as he worked, his breath coming out in ragged bursts, punctured by ‘fucks’ and ‘shits’ and ‘god damns’. Little beads of sweat clung to his chest hair along with bits of frosting that had remained behind.

You could feel the warmth beginning to gather again as he continued to drive himself into you. You had been matching his rhythm, but had fallen out of sync as his pace quickened. You could tell he was close, so you brought your hand down to your clit, rubbing frantic circles to speed up your release. Your body tingling, every nerve on in, the tension building almost like the pressure you feel before a storm. Your muscles beginning to tense up, your release imminent.

“Fuck, I’m so close baby. So close.” He managed to sputter out between his grunts.

That paired with the frantic pace you had been working at, you felt your release hit you like lightning, setting every nerve on fire as you felt like yourself tighten around him. That paired with the cry that came from you was enough to send him over the edge. His shaky cry mingling with your own as he filled you. You could feel his fluids running out as he pulled away, laying beside you, his chest heaving as he drew air deep in his lungs. He still pulled you close to him, place a kiss on the side of your head.

As much as you wanted to lay there enjoying his presence, now that your lust had been saitied, the floor was growing more uncomfortable by the second. Once you both had caught your breath you moved from the kitchen floor to the shower to wash off the sweat and frosting that was left behind.

Once you were clean, you finished up the cookies, both of you eating the ones he had decorated. The both of you finished the cookies, decorating one to look like Ed, complete with a crude guitar and flannel. He has decorated one to look like you so cookie Teddy wouldn’t be lonely in the gingerbread house. The gingerbread house of hell. Ed had insisted on placing every type of candy on it to create a child’s dream house. He grinned looking at his handiwork. You had started yours to look like a proper house but gave into his pleas of more candy. You place the cookie versions of yourselves with the house, putting it on display.

By the end of the day you had finished all the decorating, the house fully ready for Christmas. You both settled on the couch, mugs of cocoa in hand as you watched yet another Christmas movie. Your eyes going over to the tree, most importantly the ornament he had gotten. The words ‘the first of many’ playing on a loop, causing a smile to come to your face.

“Everything alright, love?” His voice pulling you out of your reverie.

“Everything’s perfect Teddy. Everything’s perfect.”

#ed sheeran #teddy sheeran #code ginger #ed sheeran fanfic #ed sheeran fanfiction #ed sheeran fan fiction #celebrity fanfiction

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raybansandcoffee · 7 years ago

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A New Life in New York: Adventure of a Lifetime (Coldplay)

If you missed the very first installment of this series you can find all three parts HERE. I hope you enjoy this!! It’s a BIT longer than I expect this to turn out. Oops.

This is still set during the first week that Janie and Harry know each other. Their origin stories are fun for me.

January 10th, 2020

“Finn, it’s time to go!” I yelled. I was cutting it close. I needed to get out the door and get Finn to preschool. We were still stuck in winter break mode. “FINN!”

“I’m coming Mom,” he replied as he came bounding down the stairs. Not to far behind him came his two sisters. Elizabeth had been staying with us the last two nights. She had Grey bundled up in her jacket and stocking cap.

“Are you two girls coming with us to take Finny to school?”

“We thought it might be fun. We could stop and grab some breakfast on the way back,” Elizabeth suggested.

“Sounds perfect,” I said. I took Grey from her arms and started to get her put in her stroller. Elizabeth’s suggestion that we get breakfast made me happy that I’d decided to get up and put makeup on this morning. After Elizabeth and Finn had their coats on we were in the elevator and headed to take Finn to school. He was good and held his big sister’s hand the entire walk there. After checking him in, getting his coat hung up and giving goodbye kisses we were headed to breakfast. “Thank you for helping get her ready this morning.”

“It’s been fun. I like helping out with the kids.” I opened the door to the coffee shop and we were headed in. I got the girls settled in at a table before going up to the counter to order breakfast and coffee. Noelle told me not to wait at the counter today that she’d bring the food over to me.

“So I assume that you have a motive to asking me to breakfast that isn’t just free food,” I said.

“I do,” she answered.

“Spill it.” I got the milk ready for Grey to drink as I watched her older sister take a deep breath. I could tell she was nervous about what she was going to tell me. “I mean as long as you aren’t pregnant don’t be nervous. And really I wouldn’t yell at you for being pregnant I’d just tell you I’m too young to be a grandma so we need a cooler name for me.” She started to laugh and I watched her nerves start to melt away.

“I’ve been thinking about your offer. I had a long talk with Mom yesterday afternoon when the kids were napping and you were working.” I had noticed that she’s snuck out of the apartment for a little while, she came back with a coffee for me so I assumed she’d just decided that I made shit coffee and went to get some. “She knows I hate my apartment because my roommates and I don’t get along. I struggled last semester to get all of my work done in my apartment and was basically living in study rooms and the library. She is supportive of me moving in with you and the kids.”

“If it’s what you want to do we will start to convert that room into really being yours. If I have to buy you out of your lease or cover your rent until we can find someone to sublease I will. Last semester was hard on you and I want to do whatever I can to help. Your brother, sister, and I would love to have you live with us if it is what you want. I don’t want you to feel like you’re doing this for me.”

“I’m not. This is for me. You have done so much for me, Becks and Jamie since Dad died. The fact that you’re opening up your doors and letting me move in is just another example of how amazing you are.”

“Your Dad would want me to, but beyond that, I want to. You may not be my kid, but you’re my kid. You could’ve decided you hated me when your Dad brought me to dinner the first time. Instead you decided to welcome me into your family.”

“Dad loved you so much, seeing him as happy as he was with you made it easy to welcome you. And I know you say that I’m not allowed to be a live in babysitter, but I hope you know that I don’t feel like a babysitter, I just feel like a big sister who gets the chance to hang out with her little brother and sister.”

“I still won’t allow you to babysit them constantly. I can afford a nanny to help and I know I need to do that if I intend on teaching more classes when Finny starts kindergarten in fall.”

“You will need to. But for now, if you want to go out with friends or Aunt Nellie or maybe on a date that I can watch them.”

“Ha. Funny. Nel is clearly wearing off on you with the ‘dating’ thing. I’m fine.”

“I know you are. But you don’t have to be alone forever. Dad would want you to be happy.”

“I am happy. I have my two babies and the three best bonus kids the world could provide. I don’t need a boyfriend.”

“I know you don’t.” It wasn’t long before Noelle brought our breakfast over and I tried to manage eating mine and helping Grey.

“Hey you.” There it was again. The British accent. There standing behind Elizabeth was Harry with Harper in his arms.

“Hi there. Hi, Harper.” She tucked her head into her Dad’s chest shyly.

“Can you say hi to Janie, Harper?”

“Hi Janie,” she said quietly. The table next to us was empty, it was a small coffee shop with only a couple feet between each table. Harry rested the bag he had for Harper in the chair that was beside Elizabeth and came to sit next to me in the long booth with Harper in between us.

“Harry, this is Elizabeth, my oldest stepdaughter. Elizabeth, this is my stalker, Harry Styles and his daughter Harper.”

“I am not stalking her and it’s nice to meet you,” he said sticking his hand out to shake hers.

“Four times since Monday? Sounds like you’re stalking her,” Elizabeth answered. God I loved her sass. “It’s nice to meet you both.”

“And this gorgeous girl must be Grey.” Harry smiled at Grey who perked up the second her name was said. She smiled a giant syrupy smile thanks to the pancakes she was eating.

“Hi,” Grey said. Noelle came over with Harry’s coffee, milk for Harper, a green smoothie and yogurt and granola.

“Thank you, Noelle.” He must be a regular around here. He started to try and feed Harper the yogurt and granola but she was eyeing Grey’s pancakes and wanted nothing to do with the yogurt. After her refusing to eat the yogurt he tried the smoothie. “Come on Harper. You need to try it.”

“She absolutely does not,” I interjected laughing. “She’s not even 2. I’m 29 and wouldn’t want you to feed me the smoothie. Harper, do you want to share Grey’s pancakes?” She nodded excitedly. Harry glared at me as his daughter climbed up into my lap and started to share the pancakes with my daughter.

“Do you do this with every random child you meet on the streets of New York?” he asked.

“Nope, only the kids of the people who stalk me.”

“That’s gotta be full of sugar. She’s never going to take her nap and my Mom just left to catch a flight to London to see my sister for a week. You hate me, don’t you?”

“Don’t hate you. Not full of sugar. It’s sugar-free syrup or something and it’s their protein pancakes or some healthy thing that I can trick Grey with.” Harry started to laugh.

“You’re lying to your child?”

“At least I’m not feeding her a what, kale and spinach smoothie?”

“There’s banana, pineapple and peanut butter in it.” I made a gagging face and heard Elizabeth start to laugh.

“She’s lying again. She normally drinks that but she’s already on her third coffee today and I told her she needed real food.”

“And to think I thought I could trust you,” Harry exclaimed in an overly dramatic way. I rolled my eyes.

“Harper, your Dad is silly isn’t he?”

“He’s really silly.”

“So what are you three girls up to this morning?” he asked, clearly trying to change the conversation from his daughter and I mocking him.

“We took Finn to school and I’m treating my girls to breakfast.”

“I was laying the news on her that I’m moving home,” Elizabeth said. “And if she’ll let me I’m going to pack up my apartment and get out of there this weekend.”

“I’m not helping you move. Use your credit card and pay for movers.”

“Movers are expensive. She’s a college student. If you need help I’d be happy to pitch in,” Harry said as he rolled his eyes at me.

“She pays my credit card bill.” I smiled evilly at him.

“See. Not mean, just not interested in moving her shit. Though you don’t have furniture do you?” I asked Elizabeth.

“Nope, it’s a furnished apartment. It’s furnished with junk but it’s furnished. It’s just clothes and books.”

“Pay a mover.” Harry started to laugh. “She’s a nerd who loves to shop.” I glanced back at Elizabeth. “Convince your brother to come help you Saturday and tell him I’ll bribe him. I know he wants some new gadget or something. You can use the car. If he wants to stay I’ll let Finny sleep in my room and he can have that room.”

“You know Finn will convince him to stay in there with him. He’s still mad at you that you didn’t put bunk beds in his room so Jamie could have slumber parties with him.” I had to laugh. Finn worshipped his big brother, Jamie was good to him and often times it was this 18 year old kid and his 4 year old brother asleep in a Finn’s full-sized bed, which I’d only gotten that big because of the occasional times that Jamie stayed with us.

“Come on, Mom. You didn’t get the boys bunk beds? You’re no fun.”

“Just wait until you get to know my kid.” I laughed as I looked at Harry. “He thinks he can fly by jumping off his bed. I can picture it now. ‘Mommy I can fly really high now’, jumps from top bunk, breaks neck and is paralyzed. No bunk beds.” Harry started to laugh harder.

“She’s a bit dramatic sometimes,” Elizabeth said. “You’ll figure that out soon enough, I’m sure.” I glared at her. She winked at me as she smiled and I knew she as going to be hell to deal with after we parted ways with Harry. The rest of breakfast was actually fun. The girls were enjoying having another tiny human their size around and Harper took to me pretty quickly as she stayed sitting in my lap until we went to leave and wasn’t quite sure she wanted to go back to her Dad when we stood up.

“Are you headed home?” I asked Harry as we walked out onto the street and got the girls settled into their strollers.

“Yeah, I need to figure out how to get a workout in today without Mom home. I probably should’ve thought this stuff out before hand.”

“I can watch the girls,” Elizabeth chimed in. “They are clearly having fun and this one has been whining about how she hasn’t been able to get away from the apartment to work out in a week. Take her to the gym.”

“Are you sure?” Harry asked.

“Positive. I was going to try and kick her out to go work out so she’d stop annoying me. I’ll entertain the girls. You two can go have some gym time and hang out.”

“You in?” He looked at me and I started nodding without even realizing what I was doing. It was like I’d gotten hypnotized by his damn eyes. He was excitedly talking about having some time in the gym for the majority of the walk and filling in Elizabeth on things for Harper. “I’ll go get changed, get a couple things for Harp and then we’ll be up.”

“Okay,” I said softly as we walked into the building. Once the door to the elevator that went to our unit closed I turned to look at Elizabeth. “You are lucky I love you or I’d kill you right now.”

“You’ve got a gym date. You’ll have to tell me if he looks hotter all sweaty.”

“If there weren’t two year old ears in this elevator you’d get to hear the string of expletives going through my mind right now.” The doors opened and we were in the apartment. Elizabeth immediately started getting Grey out of her stroller and I sprinted upstairs to change clothes. I changed between different pants, shorts, and tops what felt like 10,000 times before I heard Harry and Elizabeth talking downstairs. I finally threw on my shoes and practically sprinted down the stairs.

“You ready?” he asked as I opened the refrigerator to grab a water.

“Yup. Lilibet, text if you need anything.” I gave Grey a kiss on the top of her head before Harry and I were out the door. It was just us in the elevator. We’d not been alone until this moment. It was Friday and we’d seen each other four times this week, all completely on accident, but each time we had other people with us. Sure, he’d texted me a bit Wednesday night and then again yesterday to tell me he’d had fun the night before, but this was different. This was just us alone in an elevator for what felt like way too much time because I was focusing on the way his cologne mixed with the scent of the soap he must’ve used in the shower.

“So what sort of workouts do you do?” he asked.

“Run, bike, swim, I’ll do weight training occasionally but I hate it. My sister has had to write about nearly every sort of work out trend and she usually drags me along with her so I can take a picture of her doing whatever it is for her articles. Oh, and I’ve tried yoga but I don’t think I’m meant to be good at it.”

“Why is that?”

“I’m not very well disciplined and I constantly get kicked out of classes for talking. And my talking is usually mocking other people in the room.” He laughed a little. “I’m a bitch, I know.”

“I don’t think you’re a bitch. But I think you could learn to enjoy yoga. I’ve practiced for a number of years. Maybe I can teach you. That way if you need to be a bit snarky you can be. I won’t be offended by you talking if it’s just us.”

“I mean okay, but can I just run and like beat the shit out of a heavy bag today?”

“Sure. You box too?” I nodded as the elevator door opened.

“It was the first sort of workout I did post-pregnancy. The bitter widow found a boxing club in Brooklyn and beat the shit out of some stuff for a while. It’s good stress relief.”

“Yes, it is. I spent a lot of time with my boxing gloves right before Harper was born.” It made me want to ask about the situation with Harper and her Mom but it wasn’t my place. He’d been decent enough to not ask about the whole widow thing so I didn’t want to force him to answer questions.

“Yeah, I would’ve done it when I was pregnant but that was frowned upon.” He laughed a bit as he threw put his towel and water bottle on a treadmill before he started to stretch. I did the same figuring that I’d just start with a run and then maybe not act like I was following him around the gym. “So, your Mom is going back to London for a week?” I asked as we both started out on the treadmill slowly, he nodded. “Why didn’t you go with?”

“Harper isn’t really the best flyer so considering she’s still on her antibiotics from last weekend I didn’t want to make her fly. It’s probably good for my Mom and sister to have some girl time too. I don’t always need to go home when she does and it gives her a bit of time away from Harper and I, which I’m sure she appreciates.”

“I get what you mean about that. When I was still living in Brooklyn I lived about two blocks from my parents and with my sister. They all wanted rid of me and I equally wanted rid of them. I actually wonder sometimes why Nellie still lives with me.”

“Well she’s your sister, she loves you and the kids. She probably enjoys it more than you realize.”

“She might, she might also just like living rent free in a huge penthouse in Tribeca. I mean I wouldn’t blame her for that. It hasn’t always been easy living with me, and she has to put up with two kids too.“

“Your kids both seem pretty great.”

“Thanks. I think Harper and I became best friends during breakfast.”

“You fed her pancakes, so of course she loves you.”

"A kid should be able to eat pancakes sometimes.”

“I know. I think I worry too much about stuff like that because I truly have no idea what I’m doing most days.”

“She’s lived this long, you’re doing great. And honestly, I raised Finn for two years with his father and when I had Grey I still had no idea what I was doing. So as long as you don’t break her, you’re good.”

“It’s fucking tough.”

“It is but occasionally you just have to go with your gut and hope it works out.” Having someone to work out with was actually nice for a change. Most of the time I snuck down here in the middle of the night when the kids were asleep and Nellie was home. I did end up sort of mindlessly following him around the gym and doing whatever he did for workouts, trading off who was spotting for each other.

“You’re doing great,” he said as he was spotting me while I was on the weight bench. As I went to finish and put the bar back his hands brushed mine. The bar slipped out of my hands and fell, loudly, onto it’s rest. “You okay?”

“Uh, yeah fine. My hands were sweaty.” They weren’t. But I couldn’t tell him that simply being touched by a man was shocking, but him touching me was almost too much. I couldn’t tell him that because I had NO IDEA why it effected me enough that I nearly dropped a barbell on my head. When we were done we basically fell into the elevator and headed to my apartment. The door opened to the sound of the TV in the great room. I saw Elizabeth laying down on the couch and the kids nowhere in site. “Where are the girls?” I asked.

“They are both passed out in Grey’s room. They played really hard for a while and then got tired. I’ve honestly never seen Grey pass out like that.”

“We will go check on them,” I said. I gestured for Harry to follow me up the stairs, which he did. When we got to Grey’s room I slowly opened the door and there they were surrounded by 10 billion stuffed animals asleep in her bed.

“She looks so tiny on that giant bed,” he said quietly. “She still sleeps in a crib. My little girl looks grown up in that bed.”

“Grey has only been out of hers for a few weeks. It was her Christmas present. Tucking my baby into that bed the first night was so heart breaking. She’s my last little baby.”

“I hate waking her up when she’s passed out like that.”

“Don’t. Go home, shower and then come back up here. They will be fine sleeping for a while. You said your Mom was out of town right?”

“Yeah, she left early this morning for London.”

“Well, we were planning on ordering in pizza for dinner. I know it’s not a kale smoothie or anything but kids love pizza.”

“I hate you.”

“Nah, you’d stop stalking me if you hated me. Go shower, let her sleep for a while and then we can all do dinner up here. The kids can hang out for the rest of the afternoon if you want.”

“When do you have to get Finn?”

“I’m gonna jump in the shower and then go get him.”

“Well, if Elizabeth is okay watching the girls I’ll walk with you to get him.”

“That would be nice. Meet back here in 30 minutes?”

“Sounds great.” He placed a soft kiss on Harper’s forehead and we walked out of the room. He got back into the elevator and headed down to his apartment while I jumped in the shower. I really wasn’t completely interested in getting dressed in cute clothes for school pick up, it was cold out, I just got done with a killer workout thanks to my stalker and knew that I’d have a rambunctious four year old on my hands. I pulled on a pair of black leggings, an oversized white sweater and an olive green jacket after drying my hair and putting on a little bit of makeup. I threw on a pair of black tennis shoes and a scarf as I heard the elevator ding.

I walked towards the doorway of the master and leaned against the doorframe as I watched the door open to Harry standing there, glancing down at his phone with his hair hanging in his face. He looked up from the phone as the door stopped moving and smiled at me. He has such a great smile. I can see why Nellie and Elizabeth spent time obsessing over the fact that I knew him, he is extremely attractive.

“Hi, there,” he said.

“Hey,” I replied. “The girls are still asleep.”

“That’s great. Harper hasn’t napped all that well this week.”

“Well they played hard this morning.”

“You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” I grabbed my purse off of the table that was inside the master bedroom where it usually sat and stepped into the elevator with Harry. “Thanks for kicking my ass today.”

“You did great. It’s not like you needed me to kick your ass in the gym. I think you know your way around it pretty well. We should do it again though. Sometimes it’s nice to have a buddy in the gym. I got pretty used to it back in the day when I was on the road. There was always someone around to go to the gym with.”

“I bet. Thanks for going with me to get Finn.”

“The walk will be nice and it also means I won’t sit in your apartment waiting for Harper to wake up. It’s also nice to know that Harper is making a friend.”

“Yeah, Grey is used to her brother and cousins. Most of my friends don’t have kids yet. Which I know seems surprising considering my age.”

“You’re not old,” he said laughing.

“I know. But a lot of the people I was casual friends with in college have kids. My close friends are all still engulfed in journalism and life on the road isn’t conducive to children.”

“Is that why you changed up what you were writing?”

“Yeah, sort of. I got the opportunity shortly after I met my husband to take a new position in my writing. One that allowed me to have a position.” I started to laugh. “So often in journalism, unless you’re a columnist, you have to be Switzerland and be neutral. Just report the facts, no opinion on the facts. I wasn’t really interested in doing the investigative journalism that my older sister does. I mean she’s taking on stories that require her to go undercover to get information. The threats she receives and the threats I received are different.”

“You get threats about what you write?” he asked as we reached the lobby.

“I don’t know many journalists who don’t. I’m critical of a lot of people in power. Their base hates me. I get threats all of the time but most of them aren’t spelled correctly so I don’t worry. My sister has actually had to go into hiding or have a security guard for a while. It’s crazy. My threats are mainly that they are going to block me or tell everyone not to read me because I’m fake news.” Harry started to laugh. He had a good laugh.

“I mean I get that. I get threats because there are people who think I’m preventing my old band from getting back together. There’s a lot of conspiracy theories about me out there so I just avoid social media for the most part.”

“I’m sure. You basically use it now just to stalk me.”

“I hate you,” he replied.

“No, you don’t.” I shoved him a bit with my shoulder because we were walking close enough.

“You’re right. I don’t hate you.” He put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a side hug as we were stopped at a crosswalk. The light changed and allowed for us to walk causing his arm to drop from my shoulders. We went back to talking about the gym as we walked, it was an easy conversation topic for us. I knew that I could be a little socially awkward when it came to men, especially attractive ones. I wasn’t sure if he was sort of awkward too. It was weird to try and think about the opposite sex and how to handle them when you were constantly trying to think about if you had enough diapers at home and if the spot on your shirt was from the coffee you spilled or something produced from a baby. My go to subjects with people that weren’t kid related were food, music, fitness, and politics. During our walk he decided he was taking me to the gym he goes to that isn’t in the building to box and that we need to catch a spin class at Soul Cycle this week.

We finally made it to Finn’s school and I directed us through the building to Finn’s classroom. When I opened the door and walked in he jumped up out of his chair and ran towards me. He gave me a hug before glancing next to me at Harry.

“Did you have a good day, Finny?”

“I did.”

“Do you remember Harry from the doctor’s office on Monday?” I asked as I grabbed Finn’s coat from the hook and started to put it on him.

“Yup,” Finn replied. “Hi Harry.”

“Hi Finn,” Harry said. “How was school today, buddy?”

“Good. We got to paint today.” The teacher came over to us with what I assumed was Finn’s painting.

“Hi Janie,” Ms. Rockwell said. “Here is Finn’s painting from today. He did great! I love his imagination.” I glanced down at the painting to see it was of a dog. He wanted a dog really badly and was constantly asking if we could get one. My parents and my older sister had dogs. In addition to that a few weeks ago, while she was babysitting Elizabeth had taken him with to stop at her Mom’s house and they have several dogs.

“Finny, are you imaging puppy dogs again.”

“Puppy dogs aren’t imaginary, Mom.” All three of the adults in this conversation started to laugh.

“Puppy dogs aren’t imaginary at all,” Harry said. “They are pretty awesome actually.”

“I know. We are going to get one,” Finn added.

“Finn, don’t start with me.”

“I’m not starting with you. I want a dog.” I couldn’t help but laugh. He was determined to get a puppy.

“Maybe someday.”

“Remember Monday is a full day for him,” Ms. Rockwell said. “We are going to take them to the fire station for a tour. You signed him up for that.”

“I did. I signed up to chaperone too didn’t I?”

“You did. Remember that it’s okay to bring Grey with you that day.”

“The fire station? That sounds awesome. I’m jealous you get to go, Finn,” Harry chimed in. He was clearly trying to win my son over as payback for feeding his daughter pancakes, I could feel it.

“You can come too.” Finn was cute, inviting strangers on his school field trip. I needed to talk to him about how inviting strangers places was not a good idea.

“I’m sure that Harry has something else going on and that Ms. Rockwell doesn’t need any other chaperones.”

“Actually,” she said. “Rowan’s Dad was supposed to go but got called away to China for work last minute. I was going to send an email this afternoon out to parents to see if they could fill in. If you don’t mind you’re welcome to join us.” I could tell the look on her face. She was hypnotized by his eyes too.

“I could do that. Do you mind if I bring my daughter?” he asked. “She and Grey are friends.”

“Absolutely,” Ms. Rockwell replied, almost too quickly. “The more the merrier.”

“We will all see you Monday morning then,” Harry said. I grabbed Finn’s bag and was out the door.

“You really don’t have to come with on Monday.” I had Finn’s hand in mine and he was walking in between Harry and I. “I can ask Elizabeth to help chaperone, she’s not back in classes yet.

“No, it’s okay. Taking Harper to a fire station might be fun. Plus I said I’d help. I’m a man of my word. We will have fun together. It’ll be a chance to get to know each other better with the kids.”

“Stalker.”

“You are the worst.”

“I know.” Once back at the apartment Finn started in with his toys that were okay to play with and let his sister play with. Watching Finn play with Grey and Harper was cute. He loved being a big brother so having two little girls follow him around was like a dream.

“You should give me a tour,” Harry said. “I’ve not been in any of the penthouses in this place.”

“What you and Justin Timberlake don’t hang out together? There’s not a Boy Band Survivors Club in this building?” He laughed and flipped me off after checking that the kids weren’t watching. “Fine, I’ll give you a tour.” We stood up off of the couch as I watched Elizabeth giggle a bit. I led him through the house showing him my office that was in the library on the first floor, the area of the house that was occupied by my sister, the kids’ rooms and playroom, Elizabeth’s room, the master and then the rooftop terrace and entertainment center. We stood in the indoor living area upstairs looking out at the city.

“Your place is gorgeous.”

“Thanks.”

“The terrace has to be nice with the kids.”

“It’s a lifesaver. They love the pool and it’s nice to let them run around up here and burn energy. We’ll have to do some playdates this summer.”

“That would be nice.”

“Our kids all appear to be getting along well.”

“Yeah, it’s nice. Harper doesn’t spend a lot of time with other kids, I’ve got friends with kids but not a ton of them in New York. So thank you for inviting us to hang out tonight, I appreciate it a lot. It’s nice to give her some kids to hang out with and it’s nice to have grown up conversations with someone that isn’t just my Mum or completely centered around music.”

“Fridays are always pizza night around here. You’re welcome anytime.”

“I might take you up on that.”

“Most people have date night on Fridays. I have family date night.”

“Date night? What’s that?” He had to be lying. He was too cute to not know what dates were anymore. “It’s been a while since I went on a decent date.”

“Same.”

“Dating as a single parent is tough. Yours has to be harder,” he said.

“Yeah and I’m maybe not equipped to always be nice. Like I feel a little bad about what I said to Ed at the bar when he asked about Elizabeth but it’s also something I get asked a lot and judged about.”

“You get judged about your husband dying?”

“Yeah, you’d be shocked. I’ve had a lot of men look at me from the other side of the table during appetizers and drinks with sad puppy eyes. I usually then say that I got a text from a nanny and I have to go home.”

“A lot of women think the single dad thing is hot.”

“It is,” I said before even realizing what I’d said. “I mean, men with babies is an attractive thing. Umm…I…fuck. I don’t know.”

“Single Moms are…” “Crazy?”

“That’s not what I was going to say. I was going to say are often times intense but also refreshing.”

“How so?”

“It’s been nice to spend time with you today. I meet a lot of women who only pretend to be interested in what goes on with Harper because they want to get into bed with me. You appear to be interested in Harper and not my bed.”

“I mean…” We both awkwardly laughed. We’d been standing up here mindlessly looking out the window for a while.

“What?” he asked.

“You have a cute kid.”

“Thanks.”

“She has your eyes.”

“Finn has yours,” I said as I turned to look up at him as he spoke. “They are beautiful. A beautiful, soft green.” I watched as he licked his lips and pulled the lower one through his thumb and index finger after he spoke. “They are the prettiest green I’ve ever seen.” His hand came to my cheek, brushing a bit of hair out of my face before cupping my cheek and his thumb rubbing back and forth gently.

My mind started going a million miles a minute. He was literally touching my face. I didn’t know why. And the worst part. I couldn’t really focus on anything except the incredible way his eyes looked as he stared into mine and the feeling of his hands. They were soft despite being slightly callused from playing guitar. He slowly bent down towards me and placed his lips against mine as his hand slipped to the back of my neck to cup the base of my head. His lips were soft and full, like two pillows against mine. I felt my stomach do a backflip, the hair on my arms stand up and my heart rate increase all at once. I sensed that he wanted to deepen the kiss and was hesitating.

“MOM!” came the scream of my son as I heard his feet come bounding up the stairs. Harry and I backed away from each other so quickly we banged our foreheads against each other. I started to laugh a little nervously.

“Yes Finny?” I yelled back.

“Come downstairs and play with us. Lilibet is getting out markers and crayons. I want you to color with us.”

“Okay Finny. We will be down in a second,” I replied.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Harry said quietly.

“You’re okay.”

“No, it was wrong of me to do that without asking.”

“No, it wasn’t. You’re fine. We are fine. Fine, yeah…fine.”

“You promise?”

“Yeah, let’s go downstairs and color.” We went downstairs and the kids forced us onto the bench on onside of the dining room table. We were sitting close enough that every time he moved I felt his skin brush against mine. I was like a robot sitting there and coloring. I had no idea what had just happened.

It had been two years since a man kissed me and I felt anything. Sure, there’d been some awkward and terrible kisses from maybe two or three of the men my sisters forced me to go on dates with, but none of them made me feel anything. That kiss made me feel like an electric current was running through my body, even still despite the kiss having ended 10 pages of a coloring book ago.

“I colored this for you,” Harper said as she handed me the picture she’d been coloring. It was full of scribbles that my Mom senses told me were hearts and flowers.

“Thank you, Harper. It’s absolutely beautiful. I am gonna go put this on the fridge with Grey and Finny’s pictures. Is that okay?”

“Yeah!” she excitedly answered. I stood from the bench and went into the kitchen. I sensed that Harry was following me.

“You promise you’re okay?” he whispered.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was a kiss. It was nothing.” Except it wasn’t. But I didn’t know what it was.

“Okay.” It wasn’t much longer when we finally ordered pizza. Harry and I both had a few beers with dinner. It was a nice way to relax from the whole confusing kiss thing.

We put on movies and I grabbed the sleeping bags that the kids used when we declared it movie night. Harry sat next to me on the sofa. It was close enough we could quietly talk during the cartoon the kids had picked but far enough away that Elizabeth wasn’t going to suddenly figure out that we knew what the other person’s lips felt like. His hand was close to mine on the cushion, I felt his pinky rub against mine and I glanced over at him to see him smirking at me. I just shook my head and turned back to the movie.

When the movie ended and we turned the lights up I realized that all three kids had fallen asleep in the sleeping bags. It was becoming difficult for me to carry Finn up to bed. I sighed deeply knowing I’d need to do that tonight.

“Let me get him,” Harry said.

“You sure?” I asked.

“Yeah. Elizabeth can you stay with Harper while we take the kids up to bed?”

“Of course.” Harry bent down to lift Finn as I lifted up Grey. He followed up the stairs parting in the play room to put Finn into his room while I went and tucked Grey into bed. I shut her door just as he did.

“Thank you. I would’ve died doing that after the workout you put me through.”

“I could put you through another workout, this one might be more…fun?” Well fuck.

“I bet you could.” Hey beer I drank earlier, shut up!

“Maybe sometime.” He raised an eyebrow at me and it took everything not to roll my eyes at him. Instead I laughed as we headed back downstairs. He picked Harper up off of the ground and in her sleep she snuggled into her Dad, her head rested in the bend of his neck. I walked with them to the elevator as Elizabeth picked up the sleeping bags. “Thanks again for tonight,” he said as we waited for the elevator.

“I had fun. We will have to do it again.”

“We will. Elizabeth said she’d watch the kids in the morning. We are going to the gym again.”

“I hate you.”

“Nah, you’d want me to stop stalking you if you hated me.” The door opened and he stepped in with Harper and I stood in front of the door to keep it open. “I’ll pick you up at 8:00.”

“Fine.”

“Goodnight,” he said as I stepped away from the door and it closed.

“Thank you for watching all of the kids today.”

“It was fun. Harper is a sweet kid.”

“Yeah, she is.”

“Her Dad is pretty great too.”

“Yeah, he is.” “He asked me to watch the kids tomorrow so he could drag you back to the gym.”

“I hear that.”

“I thought he might ask if he could take you out to dinner.”

“Nah, we are just friends.”

“Uh huh, sure.”

“What?” I asked. “Friends don’t sit as close on the couch as you two were tonight. Your couch could fit 15 people. He was close enough I’m pretty sure you could tell me what cologne he was wearing.”

“Actually I’ve been struggling to figure out what cologne he wears. Whatever it is it’s fucking amazing. Fuck. Why did I say that outloud?” My phone vibrated on the island of the kitchen. I saw Elizabeth glance down at it and a smile spread across her face as she grabbed it. “Give me my phone.”

“Nope,” she said.

“Give me my phone or you have to stay at your apartment.”

“You don’t scare me.”

“What does it say?”

“Thanks for tonight. The dinner, movie and kiss were all pretty great.”

“Dammit.”

“You kissed?”

“You know what? This is really an awkward conversation to have with your stepdaughter.” Just at that moment I heard the elevator open in the foyer.

“GET IN HERE, NELLIE!” Elizabeth yelled.

“What?” Nellie asked. I could tell she’d been out having drinks with her co-workers and she seemed a bit tipsy.

“Janie and Harry kissed today.”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” she replied.

“I am so not talking about this. This is not something appropriate to talk to my stepdaughter about.”

“Then talk to me about it.”

“Not happening.”

“You realize that I don’t care if you talk about this,” Elizabeth said. “I told you today. I want you to be happy. Dad would want you to be happy. Dating is ok.”

“This wasn’t dating.”

“No it was better than dating. It was a kiss.” My sister was such a smartass. “I mean if it was a good kiss.” I could feel the blush creeping into my cheeks. “Okay NOW you’re telling us what happened.”

“I gave him a tour of the apartment. We were upstairs looking at the view of the city from the rooftop terrace. We started talking about how great the kids were. Then there was conversation about how Harper has his eyes and Finn has mine. Our eyes locked he kissed me. Then Finn yelled for us to come down and color.”

“Was it a good kiss?” Nellie pushed.

“I mean it wasn’t much of a kiss. It was just soft and sweet.”

“Soft and sweet can be good,” Elizabeth added. I sighed deeply.

“It was like in the same instant my heart jumped into my chest, my skin covered in goosebumps and my heart started racing.”

“YES!” both of the girls yelled.

“Shut up there’s two sleeping kids in this house.”

“They have a gym date in the morning,” Elizabeth said.

“Why not a real date?” Nellie inquired.

“He only asked me to watch the kids so they could go to the gym, not on a date.”

“Because we are only friends.” The phone buzzed again.

“Not just friends.” Elizabeth’s face lit up. “This one reads: That workout could’ve been a fun end to tonight. Still could be.”

“What kind of workout?” Nellie was not going to let me not answer this.

“He carried Finny up to bed. I thanked him for that because after the workout he had me do in the gym today I wouldn’t have been able to carry him up the stairs. He told me he could put me through another workout and it might be more fun.”

“He’s trying to sext you!” Nellie was yelling again and this time both Elizabeth and I shushed her. “If you want to go get that workout we will watch the kids.”

“Give me my phone I’m going to bed.” Elizabeth finally handed the phone over and I went upstairs to go to bed. I was laying in bed staring at the ceiling when the phone went off for a third time.

That was out of line, right? Well, considering Elizabeth had my phone in her hands when you sent it… Fuck. Yup. I’m sorry. Is she upset? Umm…in a way. How so? She’s upset (and so is Nellie) that I crawled into my own bed instead of replying to you. HAHA! That’s great. She’s a great girl. Yes she is. Well was, until tonight. I want to kill them both. They almost woke the kids up. How so? They were excitedly screaming about you evidently sexting me. It was a failed attempt at sexting because I’m alone in bed. You are the worst. Nah, I’m the best. You just don’t know it yet. DAMN. Someone has an ego. Yup. So are you ready to get your butt kicked again in the morning? Yes. Nice segue in the conversation by the way. I’m good. And I wasn’t completely changing the subject. Think you can get a sitter for all three of the kids tomorrow night? Maybe why? Ed wants to go out. His missus just landed today which was why we weren’t recording today. Since his lady is coming and I don’t want to be the third wheel I thought you could join me. Could be fun. Oh, I can make sure its…fun. Bold statement, Styles. Bold statement. I think that I can find a sitter for all three kids. Elizabeth and one of her girlfriends had been talking about having a girls night. I’ll convince them to do it at home instead of out. I’m good at bribing them to do things. I’m intrigued now. Well get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight. Dream of me. Oh shut up.

Well, well, well. A first kiss interrupted by a tiny human. Nothing seems more appropriate for these two. The flirting that went from subtle to blatant. And Harry with the “failed” attempt at sexting.

I mean Harry is being bold with Janie and frankly I love it. Writing them is fun. Their banter. Her sarcastic, smartassed nature. The world has sort of left Janie without a fully functioning filter. I mean she fed his kid pancakes! I love the idea of Janie sitting with both of their girls feeding them pancakes. And the mental image of Harry and Janie coloring with their three kids sort of melts my heart. They are both incredible parents who have done nothing but put their kids first.

They have the building blocks of a great friendship in place. Shared interest. Kids that get along. Proximity, haha. I am excited for them to get to know each other and wonder just how long each of them can go without talking about the two GIANT elephants in the room: Harper’s Mom and Greyson’s death. Eventually they will have to have those conversations and they both appear to be avoiding them because they don’t want it to feel like they are prying. As their friendship grows that will be something they have no choice but to talk about. Any speculations on either situation?

I love writing the three women in this story. Janie, Nellie and Elizabeth are great characters and I can’t wait to provide more information about Nellie and Elizabeth. Janie has quite the tribe of people ready, willing and able to help her raise these two kids alone. Elizabeth being a daily fixture in Janie and the kids’ lives is going to be fun. And I am pretty sure she will always keep Janie on her toes.

I can’t wait to hear what you think!! This was really only supposed to be like 3,500 words and ended up at 7,644. What do you want to hear next? I am excited to tell different parts of their growing relationship and jump around a bit. So please, please, PLEASE tell me what you’d like to hear. I’d love to have a spark of an idea come from someone else.

Also thank you to my fellow Coldplay addict, @death–by–dimples for the title. I’ve been staring at my iTunes for a half hour and she in an instant had a title without even reading the chapter!

xx AM.

PS I apologize about the grammar and spelling. It’s almost 1:30. I’m tired and don’t want to spell check. #lazywriter

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