#so that’s on growth ig
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on todays episode of: am i a huge c*nt or did my date last night rly fuck up?
#like it was actually such a nice date until he couldn’t take no for an answer#and two years ago i would’ve just fucked him bc it was easier#but i stuck to my guns and thankfully all he was was pushy not malicious#so that’s on growth ig#ugh it’s rough out here u guys#and ofc T texted me for valentine’s day when i purposefully didn’t text him#and he said ‘a rather nontraditional valentines to you mon cherie’ and then ‘you have a very special place in my heart’#you absolute bastard you are so beautiful and stupid and i love you please come kiss me :(#theoretically we’re ending it once and for all in march so OF COURSE he’s getting sentimental and of course so am i#and it’s my idea because i want and deserve real committed love#and i want it from him too badly to find it while im seeing him probably#but god i will be so sad#with nothing to show for it#not one christmas in my hometown or one i love you in the middle of the night or one romantic dinner or one fucking new years kiss#not one picture of the two of us (fully clothed)#it’s like we walked so far our feet hurt but the footprints are all on the shoreline#i am melancholy and prosaic now apologies
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obligatory butchtober post ig !!!
#yeah I’m wearing the same sweater in the second row shhh#star’s photos#butchtober#this is the first year I’ve ever felt okay enough to even take photos of myself lol#wild times#this many I mean#it was v rare that I did the past years#I used to take photos of my friends all the time and never of me#so#character growth ig? my Vain as Fuck Arc lol#butch
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Since I'm getting back into comics, ig this is where I admit that I didn't get the tim drake hype until I read jason's return arc and damian's intro to the family? As in, it wasn't his own content that caught my eye but instead the way he was treated when seen through someone else's pov. Because ppl were always talking abt how much he was asked to put up with and I didn't not believe it but I was like well yeah but that's being robin for ya. BUT THEN the guy literally has two people try to kill him??? Only for his own family to essentially expect him to get over it?? And the general fandom agreement is that he should??? AND THEN HE JUST DOES?? And then I read Red Robin(2009), where we find out that he still considers damian dangerous and isn't totally over the whole almost-being-assasinated thing...and the response from both canon and fandom is that he should have gotten over it harder??? That he should apologize for not doing so?????
Not to mention, dick and jason both lost their minds when they found out that robin had been picked up by someone else only for dick to give it away right in front of tim's face, while he was still using the title!!! And his reason was "tim will be fine" and was super shocked when he wasn't!!! Dick babe ilu but im ngl, I would be lacing ur shit with arsenic. In fact, if I almost died multiple times only for my own family to focus more on the emotional wellbeing of my would-be-murderer than me? I'm blowing the whole place up idgaf what the circumstances were (hi jason). But tim just. Doesn't? Like he's majorly understanding and that's treated as normal.
To top it all off, the entirety of damian's and jason's arcs gives tim like two sentences even though their early interactions with him were major stepping stones for the start of both of their arcs! Which, when you think about it, mirrors how his stint as robin both started and ended—like he was just some stepping stone until the "real" robin came around and picked it back up. And you can't expect me to not be facinated by a dude getting the "girl getting in the way of the canon couple" treatment.
The majorly gay and about one canon event from losing the plot thing was just the cherry on top.
TLDR tim drake is my girliepop and will have my full support whenever he decides to finally lose it
#tim drake#timothy drake#honestly I've always hated the narrative that ur owed a clean slate for trying hard and overcoming#so ig I always sympathize w the victims of that mentality#like the overcoming was for u benefit why does that have to mean other ppl have to treat u a certain way#like going thru growth does not negate the stabbing i think both things can be respected by the narrative but it never is#timothy drake wayne#robin#robin iii#red robin#teen titans#batman#dc comics#robin 1993
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i think it’s noteworthy that parker finds a way, multiple times, to pretend to be with hardison in a con. she kisses him in the first david job, she pretends she’s meeting him to have sex in the wedding job, they pretend they’re getting a marriage visa in the zanzibar marketplace job, and they act like they’ve been making out in the jailhouse job. and i can’t think of a time that she’s done that with any of the others?? tell me if im wrong but i don’t think she’s fake-made-out with anyone else, at least.
i mean, parker stabs or breaks the fingers of guys who flirt with her or touch her. yet in the first david job she kisses hardison. in season one, when she’s still so resistant to touch and her heart is so guarded. its just for the con, of course. but a fake kiss, something she can easily write off - that’s all she can do at that stage. she can’t offer her heart, she won’t let herself get attached, and really it takes until the long way down job (ie season 4) for her to start accepting that she is capable of loving and being loved. in season 1, when she was entirely closed off, a fake kiss is all she can do with her feelings for hardison pretzels. she keeps taking the opportunity to kiss him or be together, without the consequence of Having To Talk About It and all the problems she knows would come with that. her method of coping with Emotions is to let herself get into a bunch of mini fake dating AUs with him lol.
i think its worth bringing up because ive mentioned how sweet hardison is with her, and we all talk about how much he cares for her and shows patience and understanding, but its certainly not one-sided! parker’s enamoured with him since pretty early on. her way of showing it is just different and somehow both far less and way more direct lol. they both put effort into figuring each other out and learning to be in a relationship, not to mention that trying to be capable of a healthy relationship with hardison is one of the biggest driving forces behind parker’s character growth. he’s so important to her (and they’re so important to me <3).
#leverage#parker leverage#alec hardison#parker x hardison#leverage meta#leverageposting#parker#pretzels leverage#wren speaks#ultimately i still mean this in an ot3 way but just examining one piece of the whole relationship#it’s also hard to explain but ig like#it’s nice that it’s never the trope of Guy Pursues Girl Relentlessly Until She Gives In. like no she’s also obsessed w him. and also he is#so gentle with her and never pushes her. i really like how they play that.#and also it’s not just hardison giving everything and her being oblivious or selfishly taking it. she puts in so much effort. this is so new#for her and difficult to navigate.#but she loves him. so much. she’s doing everything she can.#and parker’s my fave but i more bring this up bc of hardison. like. it’s important that he’s so loved by her. that she puts so much effort#in FOR him. that he is so important to her that he’s probably the biggest motivation behind her character growth.#actually i will add that to the post#lvg
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thinking about my little meow meow
sol emeralds and sol energy fucking her up 😱
#sth#blaze the cat#au stuff#me n my friend have crafted lore for the sol emeralds#cuz there's literally nothing canonical lmao#they're like foils to the chaos emerald#and simultaneously reflecting blaze's personality vs sonic's#so they're like chaos vs order here#I luv the hc that chaos energy spurs the growth of plants and flowers#and it's important in this au#so the sol emeralds sorta do the opposite#cause destruction and wilt and kill any surrounding plantlife etc etc#sonic's beauty of chaos vs blaze's downfall via order#u feel me#and her powers are 'fueled' by sol energy ig#I'd need to dissect my brain to truly explain wtf I mean by all of this#but in essence the sol emeralds don't like anyone and barely tolerate blaze LMAO#must maintain the order and stability quite literally to a fault#so all that is fucking her up! caused scarring from using her powers!#so the bangles r to help regulate and disperse that energy so the scarring doesnt really go past the wrists#ok bye i'm talking too much here sry#luc arte
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In light of fine's event announcement, I would like to formally welcome Eichi to the "Event 5-Stars Going Through The Horrors™️ (2024)" squad.
#i wouldve put nagisa's absolute card here but he is smiling Despite the horrors lol#enstars#ensemble stars#enstars cards#im pretty scared for this story actually bc so far the “es idol colonization” plot has not been handled very well imo#(akatsuki kinda fucked over the local idols on accident in submarine ryuseitai could only do so much in stella maris... matrix😔...)#esp when you take into account that the ryukyuans are like. an actual marginalized group of people that have been colonized before#and project atlantis absolutely is an exploitation of them for es's (eichis) own gain. which is the point yes! but can they handle it well?#i do hope akiras (assuming he'll be writing) critical side comes through here and we get to see some backlash and tori + eichi growth#but yeah we'll see ig!#on a more positive note though this mv is fucking gorgeous. everything i imagined shukufuku no library couldve been and more#ponytail eichi is also one of the best design decisions ever made god hes so pretty
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my one really big gripe w sdv is how poorly alex is written for like 50% of his arc. i think the drastic difference in his demeanor based on the player’s gender is just. why. bisexual people exist and can figure out they’re bisexual while in a “straight” relationship. like imagine alex unpacking his misogynistic behavior and admitting it was a defense mechanism that resulted from his struggles with his sexuality (trust me when i say this poor sap does not have access to queer education and probably doesn’t know what bisexuality is until the farmer shows up). i want more discussions about the impact his dad had on him! him working through the loss of his mom! his relationship w his grandparents! theres so much depth to alex as a character and for most of the game he’s reduced to a washed up D1 athlete and that’s so fucking disappointing.
#sdv alex#stardew valley#alex stardew valley#is there a mod that makes alex. better#or like. more interesting#idk how to say it#more true to the setup of his story ig?#he’s way less one dimensional if u marry him tho#and also his 14 heart event is complete and utter bullshit i hate it#its so fucking stupid#and demonstrates exactly zero growth#uuuggghhhh
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if you verstappen fans had a shred of capacity for critical thinking. listening comprehension and self-awareness, this fandom would be a much better place.
did you read my post and also considered your bias in that conclusion im genuinely curious
im open to like conversations ab the topic but i kinda expect some kind of an argument against mine not just a personal attack
#guys im actually posting stuff this is crazzzy#that was my first serious take and i gotta say im proud of myself for like expressing my opinion cuz i usually dont have the balls to#tell it like i see it#so yk personal growth and such!!#f1#max verstappen#actually so happy to be able to participate in tumblr activities#such as answering hate mail ig but yk cant have it all
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I KNOW A 5TH GRADER TALLER THAN U😭😭😭
CAN U GUYS LAY OFF ABT MY HEIGHT😭😭 GO BULLY NAKAHARA CHUUYA OR SMTH
#that’s crazy tho wishing them well bc ik ppl get mocked for being tall#i was tall in fifth grade actually. elementary school#like the tallest kid in my class#but i stopped growing in like sixth so i just stayed that height#early growth spurt ig 💔#lotus’s asks
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it's been one day and im still pissed when will this end. season 4 had some neat assassination scenes but none of them shined as bright as the writers assassinating the characters like go off monarchs
#like dude#all of these characters have SO MUCH potential#and it's wasted time & time again#LUTHER MY SON why do they keep portraying him as himbo material#like sure he can be goofy and fun whatever who cares but???? it's like they keep using him for JOKES#klaus idk dude they just wanna torture him ig?#in every single season they put him in yet another traumatizing situation and for what lol#they don't even use it for character growth it's just?? angst for the sake of angst atp#ALSO STOPP LUTHER DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GR I EVE SLOANE#five...............#marvellous five writers have already talked about his character assassination and no one knows better than them ok#im just soooo tired#also LOL BENNNNN#im a ben blog AND HERE I AM SAYING NOTHING#BC WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT JENNIFER INCIDENT HUH#sparrow ben was a mistake there i said it i don't care#sparrow ben has no connection to the hargreeves !! fight me if u disagree#viktor wanting to save him and their little bonding scene where ben says 'im scared' is cute & all and was probably meant to parallel +#ben comforting viktor in s1 i if i remember correctly??#BUT THAT'S NOT EARNED u know why#bc ben <3 doesn't get <3 bonding moments <3 with <3 them <3#bc he IS right#they're not his family. his family was KILLED#they fumbled so hard with the jennifer incident im so pissed#really went & made his death so... idk how to explain#a plot device#that's all ben is#he IS a plot device#literally gets no growth whatsover#avril's ramblings
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I really like how exodus interacts with younger mutants. like definitely my favorite part of reading krakoa era xmen was the glimpses of him telling stories to the children and I think that the children would be what opens his eyes to different points of view
#bennet du paris#which is interesting because his introduction is him trying to kill pietros daughter for being human#so like growth ig
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Thank the FSM for Nelson because without him this show would have zero sense of time passing fr.
#he is such a helpful lad#in-universe and irl#very useful for hashing out a timeline of events#we have so few solid numbers in this damn show#it's like “okay Ray and Maya got kidnapped when Nya was 3” and that's about it#The Serpentine War was 40-ish years ago#Pixal says she's been working on the sea bounty for “years”#crystalized is one year after seabound#SoG is one year after HoT#what else....#idk Lloyd hits puberty sometime between s7 and 8 ig#Harumi's been following the Ninja behind the scenes for “years”#it's all very vague#but Nelson is here with his voice drop and his growth spurts and I appreciate him for it#ninjago#nelson#lil nelson
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I really feel like I should be better at artwork by now as a 23 year old
#im so fucking upset man#i guess depression and my disabilities stunt my art growth but like. tired of feeling so far behind from other ppl my age#i thought i wouldnt notice as much after leaving school but no i still feel leagues behind everyone in everything#curls up in a ball and fucking dies ig#vinny rambles
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messyass sketch for antares (under the cut cuz its , well, messy and also subject to change)
#hes such an....archtype#yknow ...the hakaider archtype / that one fucker that keeps beefing with metal heroes protags ........#[ out of circuits ]#also kinda heavily based on the augs from shin kr#he also does have a civvy form without all the carapace growth (coughcough un-henshined)#going with him being organic (aside from like tail and gear) to contrast with fivey being all mechanical#so ye the plating is like chitin ig idfk bro
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(slightly tmi i guess, talkin about bottom growth)
ok so i’m like 2 months on t and things have been pretty slow going. i know for a lot of people bottom growth is one of the first changes they notice, but i havent noticed anything so far. UNTIL. last night i woke up in the middle of the night like bitch WHYY am i so uncomfy. then i was like wait. is this the discomfort/itching i was warned ab with bottom growth. i was tired as fuck so i changed into some looser underwear and went back to sleep but today i was just showering and looked down and YEAHHH! THERE HE IS!!!!! bro i feel like there was NOTHING a day ago but now there is SOMETHING and it’s so cool. i wasn’t expecting this to feel so gender euphoric but i love it
#yall were right tdick fucking rocks#i’m on a pretty high dose of antidepressants so sex drive is still near zero but purely from gender euphoria#giggling kicking my feet thinking ab my dick. but in a nonsexual way ig#idk i’m just happy#trans#transmasc#testosterone#bottom growth
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transphobes attacking me on insta for taking HRT after i literally explain that T saved my life by stopping my near-constant menstrual linked-hormonal seizures that i've been having since i was abt 16ish.... they don't actually care if it literally is keeping you alive in a medical sense they want you dead because you don't hate that you're not cis regardless
#pre-T i was never sure if i wanted HRT but after starting T it literally fucking saved my life and i can't imagine going back#full on. my roommates used to have to sit with me for hours in case i choked and died while going in and out of sei#seizures#it was terrifying for me AND them. i would have no thought going through my head besides 'please dont let me die like this'#HRT literally saved my life. it has been the ONLY thing to stop such aggressive and regularly seizures#and while im still disabled im at least not worried ALL THE TIME i'll die suddenly from this struggle#cis people would literally rather me DEAD than being ok with facial hair growth in exchange for no seizures#im a little drinkie i apologize for ranting. im just genuinely so upset objectively#someone said im ABUSING hormones.....#i had an episode in late 2021 that i was in and out of a seizing state for 2 hours. TWO HOURS.#the longest episode i've had since starting T over a year ago was maybe 20 seconds#i feel sick at the idea that people want me to suffer so significantly because they don't like that i'm enjoying the gender euphoria too#fuck. anyway.#rant#ig.....#alcohol tw
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