#so that I can retain somewhat of an interest in this subject

[eternal-moss]

I’m like a girl but if a girl was agonising over the inherent tragedy of fossilised dinosaur nests. Ones that hadn’t even had the chance to set their eyes upon the open sun, only felt the warmth through their shells before the world was covered in dust. Those who had hatched earlier than their siblings, but were too small, young, and weak to leave the confines of the nest pits yet, excited to one day explore the world, before their futures were cruelly cut short. To the parents that lay down by their offspring, accepting of something that they might have been able to grasp in part but not in totality. In shell fragments and mineralised bones laying side by side beneath the layers of earth.

[thefaithfulnightwriter]

𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐊 ~ Chapter One

Summary - 𝙄𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 Azriel's mate is banished to another world by Amarantha. To a world she never knew existed. To a different world called Zenithara. She finds herself being stuck in Zenithara for many years. And as more time passes it leads her to giving up hope to ever get back to her family, her mate. It changes her living in such a world. She never once felt safe in Zenithara. But one day when she is given a mask. She finds herself feeling safe and concealed from the world. It gave her a sense of strength and power. Which leads her to persevere in the new world she was in.

But what will happen when she finds herself being sent back to her old world Prythian, to her home in Velaris? What will happen when she is finally reunited with her family… her mate?

Pairing - Azriel x Female!Oc

Universe - A Court of Thorns and Roses

Warnings -  Characters may be a bit OOC, Mature Themes, Gore, Death, Semi Smut, Violence, Language, Weapons, Mention of Past Abuse, Mention of War, Things Will Be Changed, Fluff, Angst, Some Sensitive Subjects, Mating Bonds, Scars, Experimentation, More Will Be Added If Needed.

Disclaimer - I do not own the series ACOTAR. I do own certain characters, and I own my mc. I do own somethings that are made up. I also got some inspiration from some movies and tv shows. So if you see anything familiar.  But i own my writing and whatnot you get where im going and what i am saying lol.

Author's Note - i really hope you like this fic. i gotta say this fic is very challenging for me because of the world building around it and what not. but i do love it. i hope you guys do too. that is all i can think to say lol.

─── Zenithara ───

─── Sky City ───

Gleaming lights were now in the night sky. A plethora of luminous lights is what Annamarie's gaze was on. She was watching the world outside of the large window beside her. Lights of all kinds down below and surrounding her. 

She could also see vast ships and smaller ships flying around in the night sky. In the sky of Zenithara around the 1st Sector also known as the Sky City. 

Sky City being located in the sky on a vast floating island. Anna never understood how the Sky City came to be. She was never good at retaining Zenithara's history. It never interested her or grabbed her attention. And ultimately she never cared for it.

Right now though she was watching the lights shimmer and the ships fly. Lights of different colors flashing and glowing. The ships of all sorts transporting goods and people to locations. 

She couldn't deny it was a beautiful sight. But it could be a bit overwhelming at times. As time passed though and the longer she stayed in Sky City she had gotten used to it. It has been a few years since Anna has been in Sky City now. And it was an amazing city but it wasn't her favorite Sector.  

Middle Ground, the 2nd Sector was her favorite. It was where her favorite home was. Well one of the three homes that she made in Zenithara, in the 3 Sectors. The homes that were just buildings she stayed in. It would never be her true home. Zenithara would never be Anna's true home. Her home is and always would be her old world. 

A place called Pyrthian, in Velaris. Where everyone she loved was, her true family… and her mate. They were somewhere she couldn't reach. No matter what Anna did she couldn't reach them. It seemed like they were worlds away. Well they were worlds away from Anna’s knowledge. Or more like Anna was worlds away being banished from Prythian.

Anna still remembers somewhat. She remembers bits and pieces of the days, weeks, and months that led up to her banishment. 

She was in Pyrthian. In a place called Under the Mountain. A place ruled by a cruel female named Amarantha. There was a masquerade ball that Anna had attended as emissary of the Night Court. Her being a part of the Night Court's inner circle. 

Being she was the emissary and it was an event to gain relations. Anna had to go. At the time she was attending the ball with her High Lord Rhysand. More so best friend or brother in her eyes. The event was pleasant… until it wasn't.

Amarantha the host had used the ball to her advantage. To execute her plan. A plan that was successful. A plan to steal a part of all seven of the High Lords powers. To get all seven High Lords of Prythian to submit to her. 

Which Amarantha had achieved. She was able to take part of the High Lords powers and keep them submitted to her. And she soon became the new ruler of Prythian. With her ruling it caused a darkness to wash over Prythian. Amarantha truly was a cruel ruler. She killed and torture innocent people. She abused people for fun. She took advantage of many and abused her power without care. 

Amarantha also liked to play with people and use them as puppets.The ones who she used most as her puppets were Anna and Rhysand. She seemed to get the most satisfaction with playing with the two of them. 

But Amarantha liked treating Anna cruelly the most. It was because of how close she was with Rhysand. All the Courts knew how much Rhysand cared for Anna. She was like a sister to him. Everyone knew because they had witnessed their brotherly sisterly bond at meetings and events. Being the two were High Lord and emissary to the Night Court they had to attend such events together.

So many saw their interaction, and saw how much they cared for each other. Even when they hid their true selves from everyone. They couldn't hide the care they had for one another though. They were truly best friends.

Having heard such information, Amarantha used that knowledge and their bond to her benefit. To control Rhysand, which worked on more than one occasion. She would beat Anna black and blue. She would make Anna work as her servant. She would torture her with magic and much more. Anna took such treatment with her head held high. She stayed strong for her Court, her home, her family, for Rhysand, and her mate. 

Even after a year Anna was still strong... mentally. Physically though Anna was weak. Her body and magic were weak. But she kept her head high. Anna knew she had to be and stay strong. Because if she didn't... Anna knew that the first time she'd let her head fall she would go into a downward spiral. She would break. 

Anna wasn't going to let that happen. She wasn’t going to let Amarantha get that satisfaction. And she wasn't going to leave Rhysand on his own. She wasn't going to let him shoulder all the weight by himself. Because she knew he had a lot of weight on his shoulders. 

But while they were Under the Mountain he didn’t tell Anna what he did or what happened to him. But Anna was always there for him and would let him lean on her. Much like he would let her lean on him. The two never really talked about what they did or what happened to them while Under the Mountain. But they did hold each other. 

They would whisper stories and reminisce on memories together. Speaking of their family and trying to keep their memories alive in their mind. So they wouldn't forget them. Rhysand more than once used the little power he had as a daemati to show Anna memories in her mind of their family, and her mate.

Even though a year had passed and they were still Under the Mountain. It felt like eternity for the two. Which they had voiced to each other and agreed it felt like such a long time had passed. But really only one agonising long year had passed. And it was one of those many mornings that they were leaning on one another that they laughed. But it soon was different. 

It was after a moment they laughed and during the early morning hours that Rhysand finally leaned fully on Anna. It was the first time he cried. And not being able to handle the weight, he told Anna everything. Everything that Amarantha had him do, and what she has done to him. Anna held him the whole time as he cried in her arms. 

But when it was time they had to separate and go back to their reality. Anna still couldn't believe what Rhysand had been put through. She couldn't understand why she was being put through such things as well. It caused Anna to be stuck in her head the whole day. Going over what was told to her by Rhysand. Going over everything she has been put through. 

That night was the night Anna burst. It was during a gathering and Anna couldn't take her glaring eyes off of Amarantha. Who sat on her throne with a smug look. Anna was furious. And most of all she was done. She couldn't take it anymore. The treatment. The torture. Everything. She couldn't do it anymore, sit back, watch, and be treated in such a way. And watch her best friend, or brother be treated like he was.

It was when Amarantha tilted her head back and laughed. As she ran her fingers down Rhysand's arm. Anna could now notice him tense. She could tell it was taking everything in him not to grimace at her touch. At that moment she was remembering everything he had told her, and all her own memories. 

It was that moment and that night that everything changed. 

Anna could feel her magic buzzing under her skin. And without realizing what she was doing she was taking steps closer to Amarantha's throne. Her glare never leaving Amarantha’s form. As she stepped closer her anger and adrenaline grew. So did her magic. As she stepped closer many around her could feel her magic and stepped away. Making a part in the crowd.  

Anna could only remember very few words that were said... she remembered seeing Rhysand's face. He had a look of fear. She remembered his muffled yelling. Seeming to be pleading with her to calm down. But it was too late. She had let out a powerful burst of magic aimed at Amarantha. Wanting to kill her.

But after letting her powers free Anna had fallen to the floor. The glasses she wore fell from her face. Her light brown skin was pale, more pale than usual. She and Rhysand having lost the glow in their skin since being Under the Mountain. Her whole body was exhausted and she could barely move. Her vision was more blurry as usual without her glasses. But what made her fearful was she began seeing black dots. 

Blinking, she tried clearing her vision quickly. Soon she was able to reach and find her glasses. Reaching for her glasses as she hunched over she was trying to get up. She was almost able to sit up when she felt a hand wrap around her throat. Then nails digging into her skin. She knew instantly who it was, Amarantha. 

Looking at her Anna could see her with a snarl upon her face. She had cuts on her face, her hair was disheveled, and her dress now had tears in it. What scared Anna the most was the rage that was in Amarantha's eyes. Not being able to see such rage she looked away.

As she did Anna was met with the room in shambles. What caught her attention instantly was Rhysand. He looked to be unscathed but he was now being held back by many guards. He had tears in his eyes and he seemed to be yelling. Looking in his violet eyes with her dark brown eyes Anna sent him a small reassuring but meaningful smile. As she saw him struggle more. Because Rhysand and her knew that this was it for her. 

Thinking of her demise, tears fell from her eyes. Because the first person to come to mind instantly was her mate… Azriel. The one she missed so much. The one she kept fighting for. The one she wished she could be in the arms of every night and every day. But she knew now it was never going to happen. It filled her with regret. She knew she shouldn’t have exploded but she just couldn’t help it. But now she was sad and angry at herself. But she was quick to shake the feelings away. 

Quickly for the first time in a year she found herself opening that golden tether that connected their souls fully. An accepted mating bond between them. A bond that they cherished and held close to their hearts. As she opened the bond, the first emotions she felt were confusion, love, and urgency. It was all Azriel's emotions. She then felt a tug on the golden tether. A tug she knew was his way to tell her to tug back so he could follow it. So the bond could lead him to her. 

"I love you so much," she whispered to him. She remembered saying in her head at that moment. She knew he wouldn’t be able to hear her. So she then sent all the love she could to him. Sending every bit she could. So much that she knew it may have overwhelmed him. 

Which it did, it brought him to his knees when he felt her love. The love he knew she had for him. The love he knew she held back from him. So she didn’t overwhelm him. It was a feeling that felt like a fierce wind had crashed into him. But after a moment of gaining control he felt like he was soaring up to the clouds close to the night sky above. Close to the stars that shined so bright. It was a feeling he gained while flying and he loved it. He had never felt it in such a way. And he wanted more. It made him want to go to his mate and have her in his arms even more.

Though Anna knew she may have overwhelmed him she didn't care; she wanted him to feel all her love that she felt for him. She wanted him to know at least one more time. And at that moment she was grabbed hard by the hair by Amarantha. Making Anna look at her. Anna was quick to steel herself. Not showing any fear. Not saying a single word. It was then that she heard the last Amarantha said. 

"Hm, killing you would be too easy. I'm going to do something much worse. I know how much you love Pyrthian, your family. So I'm going to send you far far away. Say goodbye to Pyrthian. Say goodbye to Rhysand. Say goodbye to everything you've ever known. Enjoy your banishment Annamarie Emissary of Night Court," Amarantha smirked at her. 

Hearing her words struck fear in Anna as her eyes widened. 

The last she saw was Amarantha's smirk upon her face, then she waved her hand. The last thing Anna remembered hearing was Rhysand screaming her name. As he tried to fight to get to her. A scream that haunts her till this day. Then the loud noise that sounded like the snapping of a whip and thunder behind her. 

She was then being pushed back by Amarantha. And then she saw a bright white light, and soon darkness engulfed her vision. She remembers falling harshly on the ground, then fainting after that. When Anna opened her eyes she was in another unknown world. A world she knew nothing about. A world she didn’t know even existed. The world of Zenithara.

"Hey Auntie Goldie, we got a mission to stop a load from reaching the Abyss, the Arena. You up for it?" 

Anna heard a deep male voice question her. A few steps from the side of the table she sat at in her room at headquarters. She knew that voice. It belonged to Evan. Turning she was met with a handsome well built, tan skinned man, with dark short wavy hair, and crystal blue eyes.  

Evan was a leader. But Evan also was Anna's nephew. They weren't related but she earned the respect and title. Having been in his family for years now. Evan was one of the few she has gone on many missions with in the past couple years. While she worked with G.H.O.S.T. meaning Guardian Heroes of Sector Three. 

A group of people who work with the justice system of Zenithara to clean up Sector Three, the Abyss. And sometimes Sector One and Two. But mainly the Abyss being it was the worst Sector of Zenithara. The worst of them all. The Abyss, the worst Sector, was located in the center of the planet of Zenithara. And the home of many criminals and horrible people. 

It was also where a place called the Arena was located. The Arena was a notorious horrendous place. It was a prison of sorts for all the Sectors. Filled with many horrid people. People who have committed horrible crimes. 

The Arena was a dark complicated place. It was never ending and had different levels to it. There were the holding areas where people are placed in holding cells. Then the judging area, where people were judged. People were then subjected to being experimented on. The worse the crime the longer the person is put through such treatment. Some people even end up dead from the experiments. 

But there were some who ended up with abilities. The abilities ranged from little things like enhanced hearing, enhanced sight, intelligence. Then there were some with dangerous abilities. Such as being able to control fire, the air, or enhanced strength. There were many powers and abilities that were given to people.  

But after such people survived the experiments, they soon had a collar placed around their neck. That would locate, read their body signatures, and electrocute them if need be. The collar being controlled by the Overseers. Overseers being the ones who controlled the Arena and observed everything that happened in it.   

Many groups of people were then placed in a very huge vast dark run down Arena with a dome. Ten people in each group and five groups were placed in different parts of the Arena. And soon the Killer games commenced. It was kill or be killed in the Arena. Every day these people have to fight for their lives while being watched by the Overseers. 

Once you were in the Arena there was now way out... unless you were the last one standing in the Arena. Once you win the Killer games you are taken out. Then placed in a living area for about a year then you had to go back to the Arena. 

Nobody knew these things about the Arena. Only hearing little rumors. The only one to know the most was Anna. She was the only living person to ever fully leave the Arena. After being in the Arena many times. 

The first many years of Anna's life in Zenithara was spent in the Arena. Being that the portal Amarantha pushed her through led her to land in the Arena. And it wasn't pretty those first years had changed Anna. She thought being Under the Mountain was horrible. The Arena was a true nightmare for her. 

But the last years were bearable once she met a certain blonde Overseer named Katrina. The Overseer was the one to change Anna's life. Along with another contestant. It took her years to escape the Arena completely with their help. The Overseer having been killed while saving Anna and the contestant's lives while they escaped. Which Anna was and would be grateful for. Never forgetting her. 

The contestant’s name who escaped with Anna was Evangelina, Eva for short. While in the Arena Eva and Anna stuck together. Helping each other. Eva helped with her high intelligence she got from experimentation. While Anna was the fighter. Anna having her fae magic enhanced after experiments were done on her amongst other things. 

The two grew close as sisters and were unstoppable. The two grew even closer when Anna found out that Eva was in the Arena because she was framed for a crime she didn’t commit. Anna believed her. She could tell Eva was innocent. And Anna wanted Eva to keep that innocence. Which was why Anna protected Eva and did most of the killing while in the Arena. While Eva did more of the thinking.

But when Anna and Eva were able to escape with the help of Katrina, they brought all their knowledge to the justice system. But there was only so much the justice system could do. Which led Anna and Eva wanting to help clean up Sector Three and take things into their own hands. They were soon telling the people in charge of the justice system. And in doing so the justice system gave them permission to create G.H.O.S.T. Which was very successful, and still running strong after many years. 

That is where Evan the II came in. He was Eva's grandson who took over G.H.O.S.T. after his father. Anna still helped the organization but slowed down over the past years. Having been in a state of grief after the passing of Eva. It took a toll on Anna losing Eva. Watching her grow old while she stayed the same. But Anna stayed by Eva until her last breath. Taking care of her and her family. 

Some time after the loss of Eva, and Anna having nothing better to do, but get stuck in her mind. Thinking about all she has lost. Pythain, her family, her mate, Katrina, then Eva. As an immortal Anna thought she better do something with her life. So she started helping Evan more and more over the years. Which he greatly appreciated her help. 

But looking at him now it reminded her of Eva. Which caused a wave of sadness to wash over her. Yes, he had blue eyes he got from his mother. But he had Eva's features, he then had her hair, and tan skin. Much like his father Eva's son. Who looked exactly like Eva, his mother. He was hard to look at at times. Bringing memories of Eva to her mind. But Anna pulled through like she always did. But right now a soft sad sigh escaped Anna's lips as she looked at him. 

Evan was quick to send her a smile as he sat next to her. Which caused Anna to turn to the window. Before he spoke again after receiving a nod to his question. Which was Anna agreeing to go on the mission with him and his team.          

"I got some entail that says that the load is leaving on a ship some time before dawn. When the lights dim. They'll be using passage A tryin' to get to the Arena from above," Evan explained to her. Taking in the information Anna pushed her glasses over her scared nose.

Part of three thick lined scars taking over her face. Starting from her temple on the side going across her face, and ending at the other side of her jaw. A scar from her years in the Arena by a person able to shift into a creature.

"Okay," Anna whispered with a nod to Evan. Her voice was soft and never above a soft whisper. Being that she never really talked anymore. Her voice left her more and more over the years. Because she didn't feel the need to talk much. The only ones she talked to were Evan and his father. Having nobody else who would listen and never wanting to talk to anyone else.

"Alright wanna relax for a lil then gear up together when it's close to time for the mission?" Evan asked Anna with a smile. Looking away from the window again and turning her gaze to Evan she smiled with a nod. She enjoyed spending time with Evan. He always knew how to get her mind off things. And from the little memories she could remember Evan reminded her a lot of Cassian with his antics. 

"Awesome! Come on then Auntie Gold," Evan chuckled playfully with a wide smile. Before slowly reaching a hand to Anna for her to take. A soft giggle left Anna's lips as she took his hand. Letting him help her up. 

A smile washed over her. She was happy to spend time with her nephew. Who was now rambling on about his day. Which she caused her to laugh softly when he made big hand gestures, speaking with his hands. She was happy to have Evan in her life and also his father. They helped with the loneliness and lost feeling she felt while being in Zenithara. 

But little did Anna something was going to happen on this mission. Something that was going to change everything for her.

[fandomhype]

Plagiarism Somerton

I obviously didn't watch the new James Somerton apology video ON his channel because I did not want to give that man the views and you shouldn't either! It has been re-uploaded and summarised elsewhere so that he doesn't benefit if anyone wants to see it.

The original hbomberguy video was wild to me because of all the stealing, I found it highly entertaining, loved all the Memes and it honestly did my imposter syndrome wonders! but then I watched the Todd in the shadows video and it really upset me.

He didn't just steal from other LGBT creators he lied to his mostly young LGBT audiance who were looking to an elder gay for guidance and to learn about their history.

Todd's video starts with a clip of James lies being spread by another person on a podcast, there's clips of people discussing his made up gay nazi fanfic he has presented as hard facts. He actively harmed his own community for cash! There are young gay men bringing that subject up in conversation being laughed at for falling for it and that leaves a really bad taste in my mouth.

Now I'm not a part of that community but a lot of people I love are so that angered me a lot.

...and then he comes back with another apology video, conveniently within the three months he would have had to post something on his channel to retain his monetisation status weirdly?! In which he blames both a head injury and his ADHD for his theft - at no point does he address the lying in either apology video or any of the apology posts he made that I could find.

I have combined ADHD, when I was first diagnosed the NHS referred to it as ADD with Hyperactivity element but everyone seems to have gone back to calling it ADHD and that is the term used most commonly online so that is what I refer to it is as.

I am medicated but there has been a world wide shortage of my medication and I was without it for some time over winter, which was HELL! I got nothing done.

I am in no way a big creator, Youtube for me is a fun wee hobby that will hopefully grow and allow me to collaborate with other people with similar interests but ADHD is for sure a large part of my journey as a creator.

I've published like 7 videos and currently have around 10 being worked on because, you know... ADHD! *siren noises*

I know that I am forgetful sometimes, just for the record I also had several head injuries and concussions as a child because Lil undiagnosed at the time me truly had no fear of climbing or other dangerous activities so I have my script (because free talking a subject with this brain would be nearly impossible) open in one google doc and my research open in another. It's not hard.

That's the way it was at school, college and Uni too. James claims he went to Uni to do business. Every university uses anti-plagerism software for essays and has done since like the mid 2000's? so he knows not to copy pasta. He's straight up lying there.

Another thing he's lying about is his ADHD making him forget he copied things. Now if you tell me a joke that I like it'll stick in my head and I will straight up tell it as my own later, I've been called out for this many times! But entire articles? whole sections of other peoples videos? (he also flipped a fan Vid he had ripped off of another YouTube to avoid detection and tried to pass it off as his own) No that's not something you can accidentally do even with a swiss cheese brain like mine.

Weirdly all the the paragraphs James claims he accidentally copied were also edited to remove aspects of the Trans, Bi and Ace experiences that James markedly does not believe exist. Strange considering he accidentally copied them and assumed they were his own words? Imagine going back through a paragraph you think you wrote yesterday in the edit the next day and finding swarths of things you don't agree with there?!

Why am I telling you all this? Well because I wanted to put my two cents in as a creator with this condition, partly because I felt it was somewhat of an attack on us!? He's put it out there that ADHD creators are liable to steal from others and that's not ok by me. Also I just really like the sound of my own typing!

TL;DR : James Sommerton is a suck ass liar and he doesn't get to use his disability as an excuse for what he did! and...

****** ADHD DOES NOT MAKE YOU STEAL SHIT!!! ******

Also watch Todd's Vid, everyone saw the Hbomberguy one but this one goes deeper:

[s3l3n3-volturi666]

In The Club

Based on this :⬇

Contents : smut , fluff , Angst (small) , Spencer being protective , FBI/CM Jargon.

I didn't feel comfy doing a Strip Club so did an ordinary club sorry. Hope you still like it!

When Estelle Jackson and the Team are told that to catch the Unsub for this case two people have to go undercover , nerves rise and Spencer tenses up.

Estelle POV:

"Who are the two people undercover?" I ask and Hotch sighs. "You and JJ." He says and Spencer storms out of the Room. "Spencer!" I run after him. I find him sat in a somewhat lit office , overthinking. "Spence. I'm going to be okay , I promise." I kiss his temple and he looks close to tears. "Cry and I end up in tears." I remind him. "I can't lose you. You're my everything , Stella!" He cries out and I hug him to my chest. "I will wear the dress and shoes love me to wear. Will that make up for the stress you'll put yourself through?" I ask and he nods. "Hey , Elle? We need to go get ready for the Undercover Job." JJ peeks her head into the office. "Be right there!" I shout and kiss Spencer briefly on the cheek. "Can we stop by my Apartment? I need my outfit from there." I ask JJ who nods.

(Estelle's outfit :

Not my images you can pick JJ's.)

"You look stunning , Elle." JJ smiles as we head into the club. We head to the Bar and she shows our ID'S. "Rekordelig Strawberry and Lime Cider and an alcoholic Elderflower spritz please , Jacob." I tell the Bartender. He nods and I smile. "3 little birds to my left. " I whisper into the hidden Mic , looking like I was talking to JJ with my head on my wrist. Out of the corner of my eye on our 7th night undercover I spot the Unsub moving in to sit by me. "Hello , sexy lady." He flirts and I chuckle. Unamused. "Hi. What's your name , sir?" I ask and internally vomit. He is SO not my type. "Jason Roberts. What's you and your friends names , Gorgeous?" He asks and I smile falsely. "Persephone Bureau and Aphrodite Bureau." I shrug and he nods , falling for it. I hum softly and sip my drink. "So , Persephone. What do you study at the University?" He asks and I chuckle darkly. "Psychology , Hospitality and Catering , Criminal Minds 101 and Profiling 101. " I list off the subjects that I did and he nods. "Hades and Ares , our Boyfriends of 5 years are over there. Don't worry about them though. We're interested in YOU." JJ says and Spencer glares at Jason who's hand retreats from my personal space. We chat for about half an hour or more and I retain all of the intel."Well then. How about we drink to this acquaintance?" He suggests and I nod as I notice Spencer walking over. "Petal. Let's go to a back room? I want you , baby. " He goes along with the lie and I follow him eagerly. He locks the door and pulls me onto his lap. I grind on him as I tell him all we learnt from our chat with Jason Roberts and he moves my hips faster , I can feel him twitching in his pants as he runs his hands over my body whilst I rock my hips harder than I was. "We should head back out there. We can continue at the Hotel." I promise him and he groans softly , adjusting himself so that his boner isn't visible. We get out there and I notice what Jason did to JJ's drink and mine so I down them both , JJ 's jaw drops and I cuff Jason. "Jason Roberts you are under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of innocent Catering Students. Anything you say or do CAN and WILL be used against you in Court." I feel fuzzy but shrug it off and drag him out to Hotch. I shut the door and feel myself falling to the floor as I begin to feel like a Helium Balloon. "STELLA! ESTELLE! Stay with me! Please! I can't lose you as well! " I hear Spencer sobbing onto my chest as I black out.

Spencer POV:

Jacob walks out and he gasps softly , shocked. "I will testify that Jason drugged both drinks. I'm pretty sure that he made the drugs. He puts the drug in their drinks when they're distracted and kidnaps them once unconscious." Jacob says and I nod , JJ is sobbing into Derek's chest. "She used Bureau as their last names. A clue to me that if anything happened to you or herself and the two gents didn't see to signal to them." Jacob adds and I realise that he's good and trustworthy. "Call an Ambulance!" Derek says but Jacob sighs. "No phone service. Radio to the Aorta Med Centre on the University Campus. Ask for the drug antidote. Jason Roberts was friends with the one who made said antidote. Her name is Talia Black." Jacob walks back inside.

-3 Days Later @ The Med Centre -

She coughs as she shoots upright. I hug her tightly , sobbing into her shoulder. "Don't cry , my sexy Genius." She whispers and I nod. "Doc! Can you send in our team." I ask and JJ gently 'tackles' Stella in a hug and sobs. "Don't cry , Dove. You'll smudge your make-up." She shushes JJ'S sobs and Hotch swats Stella's head. "Don't nearly die on us again. Hopefully Spencer will Shower and Eat now." He says and I shrink down as she raises an eyebrow. "I'll be out in two hours. Go Shower and eat a protein bar in my Hotel Room. Be in my Room when I return. " She says and I scramble out of the Room.

Penelope POV:

"Even Hotch can't get him to obey orders that quickly?! How?!" JJ gasps and Estelle smiles smugly. "He does as I say because he knows that I will punish him if he doesn't." She smirks and JJ's eyes widen as Derek laughs softly , amused. "Punish? How?" He asks and she smirks at him. "With clothing and him not allowed to touch me for a week." She says as she gets out of Bed and I smile at her. "You make him happy , Ellie. Don't hurt him in any way , please." I tell her and she nods. "Now out so I can change into my clothes please." She demands. Joy sparkling in her eyes.

We all return to the Hotel and Spencer is in the Restaurant. Eating. We did get back earlier than we said but oh well. "Hey , Pretty Boy." Ellie walks over to him , smiling softly. "Not going to punish you as you are taking care of yourself." I hear her reassure Spencer. "Stay here whilst we get food. Do you want Coffee , Spence?" JJ asks and he nods , his body language saying that he is uncomfortable about something. "Hey! Are you with him?" A waiter asks and Ellie raises an eyebrow at him. "Yes. Why? What happened to my Boyfriend?" She drops her warm and kind attitude for her cold and calculated attitude. "A woman yelled at him. He seems Overstimulated." He says and Spencer whines , fidgeting with his shirt. "I'll be right back. I am just getting food." Ellie walks off and returns with a trolley filled with our plates and drinks.(They all had image ⬇)

Long Story Short : Estelle Jackson is alive and will nearly die for her Team mates / Family.

Spencer loves Estelle Jackson.

Will we see more of Estelle Jackson and Spencer Reid? Maybe. Maybe not.

[fr-economics]

Hi, I wanted to let you know that I looked over what you and saltminerising have said. Thank you, genuinely, for discussing that. It is the single most refreshing and sound-minded thing I have read in a LONG, long time on any social media platform. My online experiences in that regard are somewhat similar to yours and I agree with there needing to be more compassion and empathy overall, as well as firm healthy boundaries being placed when things go awry. Thank you SO SO MUCH for saying what needs to be said, it was genuinely healing for me to read. The world needs more empathy and less shame, we are only feeding into the cycle of hurt otherwise.

I REALLY appreciate you taking the time to send in this message because I'm really glad my words reached you like this. I often feel very alone for thinking this way.

It's a subject I feel extremely strongly about because I think it's one of the main reasons "the left" has failed, is failing, and will continue to fail. It's socially acceptable, even encouraged, to engage in and promote patterns of behavior that literally lead to trauma in people you're ostensibly trying to help. The fact that most people don't understand this, or even reject this notion, makes it very difficult for me to retain any shreds of optimism for the future.

Fortunately, I have come to a place in my life where I've made peace with my experiences. Unfortunately I don't have better advice than to avoid social justice spaces and people who treat being into social justice/identity politics as a replacement for developing a personality. I lowkey feel like a right winger trying to avoid the "woke mob" or whatever, but my mental health has SIGNIFICANTLY improved since I started doing this. I'm still doing my part to make the world a better place, but it no longer involves walking on eggshells around people who supposedly care about my emotional well being, and I am no longer interested in justifying myself to random people who don't know me or my life.

What has helped me make decisions is thinking about the kind of community I want to help build, and then aligning myself with people who share the same vision. If you talk a big talk about validating emotions and making people feel seen and then go on to treat actual people in your community, including very privileged people, like shit, you are probably not someone I feel safe around.

I could talk forever about this! My DMs are always open if you want to talk further because as I'm sure you also know, having these thoughts can be isolating. FWIW I have talked to many other people who are in this exact same boat as well.

[cogentranting]

TTPD and Tortured Poets

The Tortured Poets Department applies that title to its subject matter in a variety of ways that I would like to sort into four categories:

Tortured Poet used in it's most typical understanding as an artist/performer of some sort who is tortured by their own fears, heartbreaks, demons etc.

Tortured Poet as a tongue in cheek description of someone who views themselves as an Artist in the vein of category 1, and as a result is dramatic and somewhat pretentious

Tortured Poet as a criticism. A variation on 2, but instead of just poking fun at that attitude it looks at the harm it causes.

Tortured Poets taken to mean an artist who is being tortured, not by their own demons as the phrase typically means, but actively by someone else (the public, the Industry, the nature of fame itself).

Category 2 is best seen in "The Tortured Poets Department" the song. There we have the contrast of self-image and reality which is called out in the chorus, but in a affectionate, sort of tender way. The speaker and the subject are both included in this ironic self-description.

Category 1 is essentially the baseline for the album. By naming the album after track 2 there is an acknowledgement of sorts that perhaps the whole thing leans a bit into the melodramatic, but naming the album with just a bit of irony allows most of the tracks to completely commit to just being earnest, unselfconscious, full-throated expressions of whatever emotions they're trying to convey. "The Black Dog," "loml," "So Long, London," "I Hate it Here," "The Prophecy," and "The Albatross" all demonstrate this approach pretty clearly.

Category 3 takes the song's subject and says essentially, "you see yourself as a tortured poet, and here's how that broke us." "The Tortured Poets Department" has elements of this with lines like "But you're in self-sabotage mode/ Throwing spikes down on the road" and "But you awaken with dread/Pounding nails in your head"-- though it ultimately comes to a less critical conclusion because the speaker is willing to embrace that because she sees herself in the same way: "Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be/ 'Cause we're crazy." However, songs like "My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys" "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" and especially "The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived" exist more fully in that critical mode.

Category 4 is summed up by what Taylor said about "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" in her Apple Music commentary: "I felt bitter about just all the things we do to our artists as a society and as a culture. There’s a lot about this particular concept on 'The Tortured Poets Department'". The poets are being tortured, but this time it's not by themselves, or even by their fellow tortured poets (as in the Category 3 songs) and other people in their personal lives; this time it's right up on stage and in public. "Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?" "I Can Do it With a Broken Heart" "Cassandra" and "Clara Bow" are most strongly about this, but it's also present to varying extents in "But Daddy I Love Him," "The Albatross," "I Hate it Here," "How Did It End," and "thanK you aIMee."

And then there's the secret fifth category. Category 5 is for the non tortured-poets. "Robin" is about protecting a child from that side of the world. The speaker in this song is still a tortured poet, but she's viewing the subject (Robin) who may or may not be a poet, but certainly is not tortured, and the speaker is reflecting on that innocence. "The Alchemy" also retains a Tortured Poet presence-- the verses present the speaker in that way-- but the love interest has no such characterization. Instead, he's the opposite. He's not a poet, so he gets sports imagery, and he's not tortured, so he's joking and celebrating, and his arrival brings this sudden sense of lightness and triumph into the album with him. This is taken even further with "So High School" which has no trace of any tortured poets anywhere (with "I know Aristotle" we might get a glimpse of poet, but at this point she's not tortured). The whole song is the antithesis of the idea of the Tortured Poets Department. And following all the turmoil that the speaker has experienced in the rest of the album both by being a tortured poet and by dating them, this song comes as a much-needed release. It's ease and relaxation and a sort of joyful simplicity in stark contrast to "cyclone" of the Tortured Poets Department.

[subtile-jagden]

Oswald Boelcke - Part 1

Oswald Boelcke – the father of German war aviation. Mentor to many successful fighter pilots, most notable Manfred von Richthofen. But who was Boelcke as a person? “Tenacious strength and firm will, cheerful mind and a sunny disposition” that´s how his brother described him. After researching a lot, going through many reports about Boelcke by different people who knew him, I can only agree.

This article gives an overview of his too-short life and tries to look beyond the war hero fighter pilot he is known for.

Childhood and school years until entering the army (1891 - 1911)

Oswald Boelcke was born on the 19th Mai 1891 in Halle, Saxony-Anhalt, German Empire as the forth child of the Boelcke family. He had four brothers and a sister. Shortly before he was born, his parents had returned from Argentina where his father had worked as a school principal. When Oswald was five years old the familiy moved to the citiy of Dessau, Saxony-Anhalt (nowadays famous for the Bauhaus). Dessau is considered Boelckes true home, where he spent most of his childhood and teenage years until he joined the army. He successfully finished school with the Abitur while not being a model student. He was primarily interested in science subjects and physical education. He was a member of the local swimming team and won several competitions. The Boelcke family were passionate alpinists; several times a year they did weeklong tours through the mountains. Especially Oswald loved climbing, always looking for a new challenge. In his sporting ambitions, he was somewhat restricted by mild asthma, which he had retained as a result of a severe whooping cough infection. But he didn't let that stop him neither on the ground nor later in the sky.

Because of his early-developed leadership skills and enthusiasm for sports, it was clear for him to join the army and become an officer. Still in school he got interested in military history and aviation, giving presentations about Graf Zeppelin and his airships. His ambition to join the military was so great he even wrote to the Kaiser himself, asking him for his support to join the cadet corps. And surprisingly, it worked: the commander of the cadet corps informed his parents that, on the Kaisers's recommendation, Oswald was allowed to send in the necessary paperwork for joining (Now, of course Kaiser Wilhelm II. probably never saw Boelckes letter, but some secretary forwarded it to the cadet commander).

In spring 1911 Boelcke graduated school and joined the Telegraphen-Bataillon Nr.3 as a Fahnenjunker (cadet) in Koblenz.

Military education (1911 – 1914)

Oswald Boelcke maintained a very close relationship with his parents, so that during his absence at home he kept them up to date with detailed letters. In the beginning of his military career, Boelcke, like everyone, started at the bottom. He and his new comrades were drilled from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m, doing a lot of cleaning and fetching things for those higher up in the hierachy. But he did not mind this: he loved the shooting, riding and gymnastics lessons and the technical instruction. He enjoyed his time in Western Germany, being invited to the families of fellow cadets and exploring the area in his limited spare time. For further military education he got send to the war school in Metz . It was in there where Boelcke deepened his interest in aviation. He spend a lot of time at a nearby field where daily the first models of aeroplanes flew their rounds. “I can't get enough of them and always look at them with longing. That must be a wonderful sport - even nicer than on horseback”.

In August 1912 he successfully graduated from war school and returned to Koblenz as an officer. Now he spent most of his time training new recruits.

In 1913 he was transferred to Darmstadt. In his private time he was very involved in several functions: he was part of different clubs, such as a reading club, a dance club and a hiking club. He socialized with other officers but also civilians including women. “So you see, I'm not afraid of either women or civilians”, he wrote humorously to his parents.

Boelcke was an animal lover and decided to get a dog while visiting his parents over Christmas 1913. He acquired an Airdale Terrier puppy who he named Ibi. “I ended up happily back home with my "son". He lay in the baggage net and felt very comfortable. I have a childlike delight in the animal”, he reported after returning to Darmstadt. Ibi stayed with his parents in Dessau when the war broke out. Fun fact: he was unfortunately killed later on by a bullet while hunting. He was taxidermied and "guarded" the parental front door.

During this time he had already made the decision to change his career path a little bit. He wanted to stay in the army but instead of the infantry he wanted to become a pilot. He applied to the flight training school in Halberstadt and got accepted. In June 1914 Oswald Boelckes destiny changed forever.

Boelcke – the pilot: Flight training and early war experiences (June  1914 – May 1915)

In Halberstadt Boelcke learned the basics of aviation from a technical perspective as well as in practice. One of his comrades in flight school was Rudolf Berthold who early on recognized Boelckes talent. He successfully completed the necessary exams to become a pilot. Just in time – one day after his second test, the mobilization was ordered. Boelcke was not part of the first wave who got sent to the front, althought he was eager to join: “The whole garrison is gone and I poor thing must stay here. Everyone I know here, especially the ladies, spoils me - but what's the use of that if the war is over before I get out!”. On the 30th August his waiting was done; he was ordered to report to Trier. There he quickly made sure to be moved to his brothers unit. Boelckes first flights over the front were together with his brother Wilhelm as observer. (The role of a pilot in the early stages of the war was nothing more than that of a better chauffeur. The important person was the observer, who was supposed to scout out enemy positions and troop movements. Air combat was still a long way off.) The front changes quickly with German troops advancing far into France. Boelckes unit was moved several times to stay close. Already in 1914 movement stilled in large sections of the front. The opposing troops began to dig in; the beginning of the trench warfare. For the rest of 1914 Boelcke stayed in north-eastern France in the area around Reims. Often the weather was too bad to fly. “If only the terrible boredom weren't there. I haven't been above the enemy for 10 days. The weather is very unfavorable and now that the war has frozen, there is hardly anything to explore”.

In November 1914 Lt. Parschau, an acquaintance from Darmstadt, visited Boelcke with his Fokker-Eindecker aeroplane. The Fokker was smaller, faster and climbed better. Boelcke decided he needed one of those for himself and soon got his wish fulfilled.

In early 1915 Boelcke got the Eiserne Kreuz First Class for his contribution on the reconnaissance flights. He also got a new dog: “Who is Wolf? I´ll tell you, but please don't tell Ibi so he doesn't get jealous. Wolf is a big beautiful German Shepherd. When I visited you on my last leave, I had every intention of taking Ibi with me; but when I saw how mother had grown fond of the dog, I couldn't bring myself to take him away from you.”

In April 1915 Boelcke was ordered back to Germany. He was to join the Flieger-Abteilung 62, that was being set-up in Döberitz.

[buffyspeak]

From Katniss' POV, we know that every district has specialization about their main product or industry, such as District 3 (technology), D4 (fishing), D12 (coal) etc.

What kind of economic system do you think Panem have?

If we can draw parallel with real world right now, which country is the most similar with Panem?

What's your opinion about this situation on Panem and its system?

Thank you 😊

@curiousnonny

hi there!! i saw this a while back and forgot to answer until now, so i appreciate your patience because this is definitely a real interesting subject. i'm probably not the best person to ask, tbh, as i'm not well-researched in my understanding of modern economics and find it all a little fake and strange (as in, money only has value insofar as we assign, value to it), but regardless here are my thoughts!

i don't have any specific quotes to pull, but i'm confident i remember references made to coins and possibly bills as well, so panem clearly has some form of finacial currency comparable to what we have now. it seems unlikely it's the same kind, as i actually believe that these are the kinds of things that would've retained their names if passed down so many generations later, but who knows?

it also seems, however, that the majority of district 12, at least, which is the district we are most familiar with, does not have reliable access to such currency. it's possible that the merchants do - though i find it unlikely they have it in abundance, as we see the baker regularly accepts hunting spoils as currency. the only people who probably regularly pay them in currency are peacekeepers - but in general, it seems that district 12's economy functions primarily - and could not function without - an illegal and somewhat rudimentary bartering system. we learn of a whole illegal black market center known as The Hob very early on. this actually seems to be where MOST of the day-to-day trading activities go on. it's notable because - unless i'm not remembering correctly? - even some of the merchants are known to frequent it, with katniss noting they always waited until the baker's wife left before engaging him in a trade. i could be wrong - it's possible she meant at the bakery. regardless, it's worthwhile to note that while the merchants are obviously materially better-off than those from the seam, they still live in the poorest district and it doesn't seem like even they could function without partaking in some of the bartering system that defines the district. (understanding the culture here is also signifcant in terms of understanding katniss' relationship to being indebted to others.

interesting, too, is the value we learn specific items may hold. for instance: at the start of thg, gale trades the baker a squirrel for a loaf of bread. this is implied (or maybe outright stated? i don't have my copy handy) to be a very good trade, and it's also said that the baker was likely feeling generous that day. a squirrel may be a more life-sustaining product in that it provides more protein in a meal, but A) it is an illicit product, since hunting is illegal, and therefore there is less room on gale's part for negotiation and B) fine bakery like what the mellarks make is a luxury item, with a lot of demand for it but few outside of the peacekeepers who can actually afford it. mr. mellark seems like someone who probably tries to trade fairly, but there is more value assigned to his bread than there is to gale's squirrel.

i'm also very fascinated by both katniss and peeta's changing relationship with currency at the beginning of catching fire, as we learn that, as victors, they earn (what i believe is) a monthly capitol-sponsored income that is substantial enough that they will never need to work again and are not expected to finish school. i have no doubt that this is the first time in katniss' life she has had any signifcant contact with this kind of currency, and i believe it is more unfamiliar to peeta, too, than one might expect. this puts both of them in a new kind of class inside there district (one that only haymitch had entered before them), alienating them from their loved ones in some very interesting ways. what i'm particularly interested in is understanding that this newfound wealth is framed by the capitol as a reward but is fundamentally just another means of control. while the insidiousness of this is not delved into as clearly as other aspects of the capitol's control over the victors, i think one could make a strong parallel between this and more real-world exampels of financial abuse. (i also think this is why i find it a bit harsh when people get down on gale for not accepting when katniss offers him some of her newfound wealth as a victor. i won't act like pride has nothing to do with it - though even that i can understand - but one of gale's strengths is that he really does understand the tactics the capitol uses for manipulation and control. he can't always regulate his feelings about them, but i think he implicitly understands in this situation that accepting this offer would just be one more way he was putting his life in the hands of the capitol. it's also worth noting that his and katniss relationship has always been one based in transaction. they came to care about each other in real and profound ways, but it's hard to shake that original dynamic of "i give you this, you give me that, i teach you this, you teach me that, i protect you, you protect me." only now, in this scenario, gale has nothing comparable in value to exchange for what katniss is offering him. and while katniss doesn't care about that, he obviously does. and i can understand that.)

we obviously know a lot less about every other district, and i'm not well-versed enough in economics that i feel confident in extrapolating beyond some very basic assumptions. (mainly that i assume outside the capitol, there is some sort of underground/black market trade system in most districts, likely based on their specialized industry. for example, i imagine resale of scraps of technology has a significant market in district 3. i imagine currency as we think of it is still less common than in the capitol in most districts, though i think it's likely more common in say, district 2 in exchange for the weaponry industry than it is in somewhere like district 7.)

we know a little bit more about the capitol than we do most other districts, though ofc, district 12 remains the one we know most about, as the story is told through katniss' eyes. but interestingly, even in the capitol - where most citizens are perceived as very well-off by katniss - it only seems that only those who are either in government or heavily involved in the games (which, in a way, do seem to function like a department of governement) are the ultra-wealthy. many of the citizens of the capitol certainly have this appearance - and can engage in luxuries that those in district 12 couldn't dream of - but we find it out in mockingjay that many of them are in debt, implying that there is some sort of credit system, and that those who cannot pay off their debts might eventually be forced into becoming peackeepers. in tbosas, we also learn that the war took a financial toll on some families and lifted up others, with sejanus' family rising in both wealth and social status and coriolanus' family losing his wealth and having to keep up a facade of maintaining his class and social status. while snow's family was obviously significantly impaired, i doubt he was an outlier in being financially affected by the war, and since the events of the original trilogy are really only a few generations later, it's likely that the family's acutely affected directly proceeding the war are those most susceptible to debt years later.

i don't think we can assign a single economic system to panem because the two places we have the clearest pictures of have such opposing systems, but it's clear it's complex around the board.

as for what country panem is supposed to represent - i mean, i'm obviously coming at this with narrow, western, us-based goggles, and would love to hear other perspectives! but yeah, my answer is... it's complicated? geographically, most of panem is canonically what used to be more north america. but socially, america - and the us in particular - is closer to the capitol than any of the districts. notably, though, i think most of us are far closer to the capitol citizens (who perform wealth and have access to many luxuries but are also exceedingly susceptible to debt) than the wealthy of the capitol, but all the same, i do think the story asks us citizens in particular to take a look at our lives and fill our blind spots. one could argue that it's only the government and ultra wealthy in our country who are meant to represent the capitol and that there are impoverished areas in the us that are just as comparable to the districts as other countries - which i think is fair! the point, in general, is that the book asks us to do that self-reflection, not that it gives us the answers.

[madamegemknight]

WHO is your favorite muppet. tell me. if you can't decide then top 3?

AUGH this is so difficult. thank you for the top 3 option but even then this was like the greatest challenge of my career there are so many good muppets...this list is definitely subject to change in the future

uhhh one of them definitely has to be Kermit! I know Kermit is kind of the default answer, but he's the default answer for a reason - he's such a versatile character while still retaining such a clear personality, and you can really put Kermit into any situation and it'll work! He's such an interesting character to look at evolution-wise, too, considering he's one of the earliest muppets; Sam and Friends-era Kermit is still recognizable as Kermit, but he's so distinct at the same time. Also this is going to be so cheesy but Kermit is genuinely such a comforting figure to me, that frog is my dad for real <3 sometimes if I'm having a rough day I'll put on a playlist of Kermit Sesame Street moments and just watch him talk to kids or draw the letter J in the air lol

Another is Red Fraggle! Red is SUCH a good character oh my gosh, the Fraggle Rock writers struck gold with her. Fraggle Rock does such a good job at making its characters flawed, if that makes sense, and Red is no exception; she's mean, she's self-obsessed, she refuses to admit when she's wrong, and I LOVE her for it ^-^ but at the same time too she isn't JUST the mean self-obsessed one! She's also the silly one, and the one who Gets Cotterpin when nobody else does and starts a massive domino chain that leads to harmony between the Doozers and the Fraggles, and a great singer, and the star athlete, and Mokey's Totally Platonic Gal Pal, and UGHH I could gush about Red all day she's so well-rounded. It certainly helps that Karen Prell (her puppeteer) is tied for my Favorite Muppet Performer alongside Richard Hunt :)

SPEAKING OF RICHARD HUNT I LOVE FORGETFUL JONES SO MUCH!! probably not the most well-known character, but I was suffering with some memory issues in late 2023 (which thankfully seem to be gone), and as silly as it sounds Forgetful made it somewhat tolerable :) he definitely started out as a joke character, but Richard Hunt was SUCH a good puppeteer and really elevated him to a whole other level. He's so caring and kind and the fact that canonically the two things he'll always remember are his girlfriend's name (Clementine) and that he loves her is just 🥺 oughhh I love Forgetful and Clementine so much, I wish they had appeared more often (and I wish I could actually find the episodes where they do CURSE YOU HBO MAX FOR GETTING RID OF ALL OF YOUR SESAME STREET STUFF)

augh there are still so many muppets I wanna mention. uhhh honorable mentions to: gobo fraggle. boober fraggle. mokey fraggle. wembley fraggle. zondra jim henson hour. digit jim henson hour. cotterpin doozer. emmet otter. alice otter. every single dude from the inner tube pilot. TAMINELLA GRINDERFALL WITCHIEST WITCH OF THEM ALL. melora is not a muppet but she was in a muppet production so I'm counting her. yorick sam and friends. bernice sam and friends. sprocket. miss piggy obviously I love her and her dubiously canon traumatic past. scooter and skeeter. jojo jim henson hour. rowlf. robin. denise muppets 2015 who was done so dirty. sidebottom fraggle. LIMBO HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN LIMBO. uhhh okay cutting it off here because if I don't this honorable mention will just be me listing off every muppet ever. actually wait tug boo and molly. there now I'm done. thank you for this ask I very much appreciated it :D

[fmpmelissa]

Week 08: Wednesday: Production and Reflection

Production:

At the start of this week, I continued working on the remaining animations planned for this character, specifically the idle and bite animations as outlined in the storyboard. While working on the run animations, I created a new file with the animation but removed all leg movements to retain the breathing and body shake. I also shortened the animation and created a clean loop. To add more life to the idle animation, I introduced a head shake or turn. This approach is similar to how Igor developed his "creep" idle animation, where the body sways back and forth, adding a subtle layer of realism. To stay organized, I saved each animation separately in its own file, allowing for easy access and edits if needed.

With the idle animation completed, I moved on to the bite animation, starting with the anticipation phase by crouching the legs and then overextending the body, allowing players to gauge the power of its jump. This took up the first few frames, which were initially keyed but later adjusted to correct any misaligned bones. Next, I focused on turning the body to face the player's camera at arm level, ensuring that the legs followed naturally to create a more lifelike movement. This was designed so that in the cinematic, players would clearly see the creature’s mouth and understand that it’s about to bite them. That’s all for today; I plan to seek feedback on these new animations, as I’m not entirely confident that the bite animation is going in the right direction.

Research:

Subject 1) 

To continue studying the latest work, I specifically searched for animation inspiration, and I found a piece by Igor Rykov (2023) titled Creep - Animations. I found these animations, particularly interesting because they were designed in mind for a first-person perspective, which offers valuable insights for my own project on how to exaggerate the animation for maximum impact. One standout animation shows the camera being grabbed by the creature, creating an intense close-up with panicked swaying, which, while not part of the creature's animation itself, demonstrates how effectively camera work can enhance the quality of animation.

I also appreciated the jiggle of the creature’s body when it screams and runs, adding a sense of life to the character. However, I found the scream animation somewhat underwhelming—it doesn’t seem like the creature is actually screaming, but rather just staring menacingly. If the creature opened its mouth wide, as if attempting to devour the player, and incorporated more aggressive arm movements, like displaying its claws, it would better convey rage and danger. Additionally, the second pair of arms could have been utilized more effectively instead of merely mimicking the movements of the main arms. These secondary arms could have reached out as if trying to grab the player or hovered protectively over its vulnerable stomach. Overall, Igor Rykov's (2023) design and execution of the animation were strong, providing great inspiration for my own project.

Subject 2)

The next art piece I wanted to study is by Kamil S. (2023), titled Golemsancer's Spider. This project features a highly detailed video showcasing multiple animations and physics for a spider, making it an excellent resource for researching how to animate my own spider. I was particularly drawn to how the attack animations were done, as they provided inspiration for my own work. The project includes various styles of attacks, with the spider using its legs, fangs, or both. I especially liked the buildup to the attack, where the spider often rears back onto its hind legs before leaning forward, curling its legs to hold on, and then delivering a bite.

Each leg was animated independently, even down to the movement of the fangs, which gave the spider a lifelike and natural motion that I aimed to replicate. However, I found the bite itself somewhat underwhelming, likely due to the model lacking a detailed mouth, making it unclear that the spider is actually biting. If there were more exaggeration in the fangs opening up, with the head leaning back before a quick biting motion, it would be more impactful. The spider could also wriggle slightly to emphasize the bite, with its legs digging in deeper to hold on, clearly showing the player that it's biting. Despite this, the animation set is excellent, and I will likely refer back to these animations for future projects as well.

References:

Igor Rykov, 2023. Creep - Animations [Labyrnthine]. [Online] Available at: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/xDreAO [Accessed 25 July 2024].

Kamil S., 2023. Golemancer's Spider. [Online] Available at: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/Ny3kag [Accessed 25 July 2024].

Gantt Chart

Light Red highlights marks the day

This is in place to keep me on track what has been or needs to be done this day of the week.

[one-boring-person]

Could I request a first kiss scenerio with Austin/t-000

I hope you like this!😊💛

I Now Understand Why.

Austin/T-1000 x reader

Warnings: mention of sex, sexual themes implied

Masterlist

Nights like this don't come often in this particular household. Nights where the house itself is quiet and calm, very little activity taking place, the only inhabitants for the night simply enjoying this peace together for once.  It's relaxing, being able to sit in the living room without Sarah or John coming in to tell me they need help with something, or without Bob and Austin having one of their near-hostile conversations about subjects the humans of the house will never hope to understand, the idle nature of this time prompting a lazy smile to play across my features as I sit back on the sofa and gaze at the television.

A James Bond movie plays on the screen, the action flick being the only thing vaguely watchable for the night, in my opinion, anyway - Austin had no real input, by his own choice. The terminator had simply told me he wanted to partake in what his files tell him is a normal "human activity", and so had let me choose what we watch. His eyes remain locked on the screen, body rigid, posture not quite natural, his figure looking for all intents and purposes as if he's in shock, his perpetual scowl not helping his case. 

John, Sarah and Bob had all rushed out a few hours ago, leaving Austin and I together for a few days, none of them feeling the need to tell is why they had to leave, though it means little to me; I'd much rather stay at home and relax than chase some lead on a possible branch of Cyberdyne. Naturally, Sarah and John still don't trust the T-1000, and so left him in my care, much to my chagrin, knowing that my relationship with the terminator has become closer than I would like. Even now, as he remains seated across from me, I can't help my eyes wandering over him every now and then, finding the lithe build of his body, as well as the sharp cast of his features attractive after so long of being stuck with him. He and I have grown close, finding solace in each other's preference for quiet study and relaxation, the terminator speaking more openly to me than the others.

"Is something wrong?" The smooth voice suddenly interrupts my train of thought, snapping me back to reality with a jolt.

Blinking, I blush and look away, not sure when he noticed my gaze but embarrassed as hell that did, despite the inevitability of it. Thankfully, another thing I'd noticed about his programming is his slight naivety concerning romance and human emotion in that sense, meaning I'm able to explain myself much more easily.

"Huh? Oh, no, nothing's wrong. Why?" I stammer, scratching lightly at my arm, a nervous habit I picked up somewhere along the way.

"You have made visual contact with me exactly four times in the elapsed five minutes since I first noticed. Generally, this indicates that there is a problem." He informs me, blue eyes fixed on me as I internally cringe, flushing deeper.

"Have I? I hadn't noticed." I laugh off, a little shakily, "Nothing is wrong."

Austin doesn't reply, regarding me for a further minute or so, before he looks back at the television, right in time for the usual sex scene to come on. My cheeks go hot as I watch with him, my thoughts swiftly turning inappropriate, much to my dismay, somehow unable to stop myself from thinking things I shouldn't. Unconsciously, I clench my jaw, adjusting myself in my seat.

"What is the reason for that action?" Austin suddenly speaks up again, pointing at Bond and whichever girl he's with this time as they kiss, the camera panning in for a close-up.

"What, kissing?" I frown, glancing over at him - I know his files are limited concerning romantic actions, but surely he knows what kissing is?!

"The name of this activity is unknown to me. I am referring to their lips joining. Like that." He points again, eyes fixed on the two characters making out.

"Er, yeah, that's called kissing." I chuckle, watching him closely, "People do it when they love each other, or if they want to show their affection for someone. Most people do it in a romantic relationship, though it can also be used to show a romantic interest if they are not already together."

The terminator nods, taking in all the information I give him, a ripple going over him as he processes the data in whatever database he has, his eyes flicking over to meet with mine. After a moment, he cocks his head, apparently following a thread of data.

Suddenly, he stands and sits closer to me on the sofa, body twisted awkwardly to face me, despite the fact he could easily morph himself to fit more comfortably. Confused, I lift an eyebrow and watch him, unsure of where this is going.

"I require a demonstration to properly retain the information." He states, though he doesn't sound sure of himself, as if that isn't the only reason he's requesting this.

I'm too shocked to process it properly, my eyes widening, my mouth falling open as my pulse jumps, a sharp spark of excitement flaring up in me.

"A...demonstration?" Is all I can manage, my hand moving back to scratch my arm again.

"Affirmative. I request your consent for this." 

Austin continues to stare at me, observing my reaction as I struggle to formulate an appropriate response. My body is screaming at me to agree, but my mind is telling me I shouldn't, because I'll just get too attached. It takes me a moment, but eventually I just give in, unable to resist the slight terminator.

"You have it." I reply, somewhat unsure of what's going to happen until he nods and lifts a hand to cup my face.

His skin is somewhat cool against mine, his fingers splaying over my cheek as he uses his tactile sensors to collect what I can only assume is positive input from the touch as he leans in, eyes remaining fixed on mine. Mimicking my breathing pattern (unnecessarily), he leans in further, lips inches from mine, brushing against me with each gentle movement, until he carefully closes the gap.

I have to fight the urge to groan in satisfaction, relaxing as he kisses me, our lips moving tentatively at first, trying to find a suitable rhythm as my hands move to clutch at the slightly unnatural-feeling cloth of his shirt, pulling him close. In response, the terminator moves both hands to my hips, pulling me into him as my eyes fall closed, my body relaxing into his curious touch. Moving in sync now, we continue to kiss, his tongue lightly flicking over my lip as he pushes a hand up the back of my shirt, pressing for more sensory input. 

I can only give in to him, moaning as his tongue slips into my mouth, exploring everywhere it can reach, his grip on me tightening slightly, pulling me tighter against his hard body. For a moment longer, we remain there, Austin caressing every inch of my mouth with his tongue whilst his hands roam any available skin until I feel my air finally run out, at which point I go to pull away. 

He pulls back, looking at me curiously, until he seemingly remembers that I have to breathe. Waiting for me, he soothingly runs his hands up my back, regarding me closely as I lean into his touch, enjoying this far too much for my own good. 

"I understand why humans kiss now." He states, a smile pushing at the corner of his lips.

"Y-Yeah?" I pant, a little breathless.

"Affirmative." He confirms, before he leans back in, holding me tightly against him.

[fanficcrossoverprompts]

Encanto Wands Part 2

Edit: I actually put down the wrong wand for Bruno. That was the wand I got when I took the Quiz for myself.

Julieta Madrigal

Hornbeam wood with a dragon heartstring core, 11 ¼ and pliant flexibility

Hornbeam

My own wand is made of hornbeam, and so it is with all due modesty that I state that hornbeam selects for its life mate the talented witch or wizard with a single, pure passion, which some might call obsession (though I prefer the term ‘vision’), which will almost always be realised. Hornbeam wands adapt more quickly than almost any other to their owner’s style of magic, and will become so personalised, so quickly, that other people will find them extremely difficult to use even for the most simple of spells. Hornbeam wands likewise absorb their owner’s code of honour, whatever that might be, and will refuse to perform acts – whether for good or ill – that do not tally with their master’s principles. A particularly fine-tuned and sentient wand.

Dragon

As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner.

The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

Bruno Madrigal

Yew wood with a unicorn hair core, 10 and slightly springy flexibility

Yew

Yew wands are among the rarer kinds, and their ideal matches are likewise unusual, and occasionally notorious. The wand of yew is reputed to endow its possessor with the power of life and death, which might, of course, be said of all wands; and yet yew retains a particularly dark and fearsome reputation in the spheres of duelling and all curses. However, it is untrue to say (as those unlearned in wandlore often do) that those who use yew wands are more likely to be attracted to the Dark Arts than another. The witch or wizard best suited to a yew wand might equally prove a fierce protector of others. Wands hewn from these most long-lived trees have been found in the possession of heroes quite as often as of villains. Where wizards have been buried with wands of yew, the wand generally sprouts into a tree guarding the dead owner’s grave. What is certain, in my experience, is that the yew wand never chooses either a mediocre or a timid owner.

Unicorn

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard.

Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.

Pepa Madrigal

Dogwood wood with a phoenix feather core, 13 and supple flexibility

Dogwood

Dogwood is one of my own personal favourites, and I have found that matching a dogwood wand with its ideal owner is always entertaining. Dogwood wands are quirky and mischievous; they have playful natures and insist upon partners who can provide them with scope for excitement and fun. It would be quite wrong, however, to deduce from this that dogwood wands are not capable of serious magic when called upon to do so; they have been known to perform outstanding spells under difficult conditions, and when paired with a suitably clever and ingenious witch or wizard, can produce dazzling enchantments. An interesting foible of many dogwood wands is that they refuse to perform non-verbal spells and they are often rather noisy.

Phoenix

This is the rarest core type. Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike.

Phoenix feather wands are always the pickiest when it comes to potential owners, for the creature from which they are taken is one of the most independent and detached in the world. These wands are the hardest to tame and to personalise, and their allegiance is usually hard won.

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4

[zephycluster]

Precolonial HWS SEA Rant Post, feel free to ignore

If you're still reading, then you're probably looking for evidence or some juicy tidbits to throw back at me or to try and find dirt to cancel me, like typical Tumblr/Twitter. Go ahead, I don't really care.

First off, let me just say that If you like Precolonial South-East Asia AUs, feel free to keep enjoying them. I will respectfully support your passions from afar. This post is just to explain why I don't like it, especially the way they keep insisting/portraying PH in it.

Still here? Then let me begin.

Since the recent confirmation that the ASEAN Six Majors (Can't really say ASEAN 10 atm since it's still missing some people) Were completed and the Ma-Phil-Indo Trio was included, there has been a large surge in 'Precolonial' fanarts and portrayals of South East Asians, those three especially.

Even long, long before, circa 2010's ish, a rather well-known fan universe known as 'Maaf' dealt with their story and how their Author thought their intertwined histories went. Written by (my best guesstimate) an Indonesian writer who wants to explore the old, SEA bond.

When I first stumbled across Maaf (I was in Highschool at the time, around age 16-ish), I took a casual interest in it and tried to read it through. But, I will wholeheartedly admit that at the time, Pre-Colonial cultures of South-East Asia in general, let alone Philippine, did not really interest me that much. The focus (I think) was mostly on Indonesia, a country I didn't really know back then, and the liberal use of 'ancient' names and artwork just made it feel like an entirely Original Work (that needed a degree in History to really appreciate) and not something from Hetalia. I also completely disagreed with what I could gather was the story's portrayal of PH but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Do I hate 'Maaf'? No, I don't hate it. Do I wish I never came across it or that it didn't exist? Of course not. Just because I didn't enjoy it or appreciate it that well doesn't mean I wish any ill toward it, its fans, or its creator.

Fast forward to April 2021, the long awaited inclusion of South East Asia to the canon Hetalia verse. I was happy, the other fans were happy, all was good.

Then started the questionable fanarts, fan theories and fan pairings.

Especially the expansion of Precolonial! PH.

Let's go back to Maaf for one moment. From what I understood of Maaf, PH there was a character who once was like all the other South East Asian cultures, trading with them, all around being a nice family.

But all that changed when the Spaniards attacked, so cry the precolonial buffs. They destroyed everything, ransacked and marginalized the tribes, erased everything that PH was!

Did that happen? ABSOLUTELY. The Spaniards had this vision in mind that they must spread Christianity to all of the 'savage, unchristian heathens' of their realm. :V /s

But back up a second, back to PH's portrayal in Maaf. The way she (yeah, she) was portrayed there was that she was slowly losing her memories of being a 'true' South East Asian and grew more and more westernized in the process, like some sort of Culture-specific Alzheimer's or something.

Firstly, that is seriously depressing, and secondly, I just really don't see that happening.

Here's why.

Point 1: Even before Colonial Masters, Filipinos as a people cannot agree on anything.

I'll just begin this segment with a Philippine proverb that outlines what Filipinos call 'Crab Mentality' or 'Crab Bucket Mentality'.

"You don't need a lid for a container when you're keeping multiple crabs. If you keep at least two crabs together, they will just pull each other down instead of helping each other up."

I don't know how it goes with Indonesian or Malaysian history class, but what I know of my homeland, both pre- and post-colonial history, we were never really 'united' or 'together' in the sense that Indonesia and Malaysia were (from what I assume).

Let me pull up a somewhat related question on r/AskHistorians.

The reason I brought this up as it shows the reasons why, in my opinion, a single entity that is 'Precolonial Philippines-tan' is an impossibility.

The answers are long and would extend this already long post to stupid proportions, so I'll just quote relevant sentences. The link is here for those that wanna deep-dive into the answer.

"All this to say that there wasn't a name used for the entire Philippine islands before the Philippines that people now would agree to. An interesting comparison would be the Holy Roman Empire, which might also be characterized as disparate politico-geographic groups of relatively small size that had a history of relations between each other, but one thing they had that the Philippines did not was a common language, or at least a family of mostly mutually intelligible languages, so that the name Deutschland or Germany isn't terribly offensive to anyone. If you called the Philippines the 'Lupang-Tagalog' or even 'Lupang-Tao' the other ethnic groups would protest."

For those in need of translation, 'Lupang Tagalog' means 'Land of the Tagalogs' and 'Lupang Tao' means 'Land of People', specifically. The first one is already exclusive and offensive, as the Tagalog peoples are but one of many ethnicities here.

And for the 'Lupang Tagalog' suggestion specifically, it's even more offensive as they are the majority ethnicity (not by much, just around 28%) From this chart from Geography Now! It would basically be alienating everyone else in the 72% remainder that isn't 'Tagalog'.

And even 'Lupang Tao', the most generic name in a local language you can think of, would be met with contempt because the name itself is in the Tagalog language.

Just travelling between two individual island groups today would sometimes require a translator because the words can change very rapidly and very drastically. Here's a sample of some differences coming from a friend living in Visayas (in Red) vs. the words I know living in Luzon (In blue).

Ate vs. Manang = Older Sister

Ibon vs. Pispis = Bird

Tumawa vs. Kadlaw = To laugh

Takot vs. Hadlok = Fear

Kain vs. Kaon = To eat

Ngayon vs. Subong = Now, at this point in time

Iyak vs. Hibi/Gibi = to cry

Talampakan vs. Tiil = Foot (in Tagalog, the word retains its 'body part AND unit of measurement' meaning)

Tulog vs. Tuyo = to sleep (Tuyo in Tagalog is either a dried salted fish or 'to dry')

The kicker is that just like Tagalog is just one of many languages here, so too is the language my friend speaks. Ask an entirely new person, like someone from Mindanao, they'll probably have an entirely new set of words.

It's not just Luzon vs. Visayas vs. Mindanao, either. Here's a map listing some of the ethnic groups here.

Even the way they're written differs from location to location.

While we're on the subject of Island divisions, a casual skim across Twitter and Tumblr has shown that their Precolonial PH has been one of the following ancient civilizations: Tondo, Butuan, Sugbu, Namayan. There may have been others but that was what I have found.

Notice how even today, the posters of Precolonial PH can't seem to agree on what he's supposed to be? With Indonesia it's either Majapahit or Srivijaya and Malaysia it's usually Malacca iirc.

What is the big deal? Well, let's go back to the Ask Historians post. "Why didn't the Philippines ever change its name to remove the colonial mark that being named after a Spanish King has?" The answer: "If you suggested something dating to precolonial times, the other ethnic groups would protest."

Since we're on a roll with maps, let me bring this up.

As you can see, the precolonial PH posts have a reason to not be able to agree on one thing, as there is a LOT of options. Do you also see how THAT list is also split up?

It's split up into those aligned with China (Sinified), aligned with India (Indianized), aligned with the Middle East (Islamicized), and no alignment (Animist). Now, let's go back to the main suggestions for which Kingdom/Polity/Civilization/whatever Modern Philippines used to be.

If the Filipino peoples' couldn't agree on something as simple as WHAT TO CALL THE LAND THEY'RE LIVING ON, what more a living, breathing, walking, talking entity that is supposed to be a beacon of all of their 'unified' culture? ESPECIALLY if that entity used to be a currently existing Kingdom/Polity/Rajahnate/Sultanate/whatever.

Tondo? "Of course, always the damn Tagalogs. Tagalog this, Tagalog that. First the capital city, then the language,* THE REST OF US EXIST, YOU KNOW! What about us in Visayas? Mindanao?"

*The national language known as 'Filipino' is just standardized Tagalog*

Butuan? "Wait, you want Butuan to represent us? They're they only Indian-aligned city in the Islam-majority Mindanao! They're not even that many of them! I'm not gonna change my religion!"

Sugbu, the other name for the Rajahnate of Cebu on the map? Lemme bring back my Visayan friend again. According to her, she hails from the Hiligaynon part of Visayas.

"Sure :v and the other islands are what?

Chopped liver?

Not to mention the language and writing barrier helloooo"

And Namayan? Well. I'll let this pic speak for itself.

To summarize, no matter who you pick as Modern PH's previous identity, it will not end well nor be accepted by the other Kingdoms at the time.

"So where does that leave Modern PH, he had to have been ONE of them, right?"

Well, not really. He doesn't HAVE to be one of the Ancient Kingdoms that lasted till the modern day. I mean, predecessor representatives exist in Hetalia canon, after all. Like Modern Greece is a different character from Ancient Greece, Ancient Egypt and Modern Egypt, heck even England and his brothers have a canon mother that was the rep before them.

Or you could even use the same logic that Germany does, in that each specific region has/had its own representative and that Modern!PH is just the 'mediator' between them (cause gawd does PH need one). There could be a Tondo, a Namayan, a Butuan, and a Sugbu, all arguing and this Proto-PH is just trying to make headway in making them all satisfied.

But, even after all this, there is another reason why I personally don't subscribe to the 'Precolonial PH' idea, and by tangential extension, the Indo x Phil pairing.

Point 2: Even without intending to, Precolonial Indo x Phil just comes off as patronizing

This second point is just ENTIRELY personal preference and barely has any facts to back it up.

Again, if you like the pairing and disagree with me, You do you. I will respectfully support you and your passions from a distance.

But for me, Indo being Phil's seme/bae/boyfriend and consistently bringing up precolonial times just comes off as patronizing.

Just one more time, I'd like to point out that I am NOT bashing Indonesia, its people or the subscribers of Indo x Phil. This is just how the pairing feels to ME specifically.

The way I see it, Indo x Phil as a pairing, especially if it extends back into precolonial times, reads the same way as a long-since married couple where the husband/wife CONSTANTLY brings up that ONE outing you had together, or that ONE prom night where you kissed while dancing, even it happened like 30 some-odd years ago and so much more happened since then.

Even in a platonic sense, It reads like two besties where one ALWAYS mentions stuff like 'Yeah but you looked so much cooler back in High School' or 'Back in Grade School you would've known that', or 'Remember back in Pre-school we did X? How could you forget that?'

How does one respond to the notion that no matter what you do now, it will never compare to a past you've already forgotten or barely remember? That the best version of 'you' is already long gone?

"That's because the westerners made you forget your culture! You gotta take it back!"

While it is true, yes, as a collective we barely remember the Kingdom that commissioned the Laguna Copperplate, or created the Banaue Rice Terraces, or created the millennia old bonds that we still share with Indonesia and Malaysia.

But to keep pushing the precolonial identity would be to neglect and cast aside the one REAL binding belief and culture that spans the entirety of these islands we call the Philippines.

We take on all the bad stuff that happens to us, conquer it, and make it our own. Be it natural disasters, foreign powers, or negative stereotypical mentalities.

Yes, we've forgotten the ancient kingdoms of old and are just now digging through the closet for those remnants of the past. Yes, the colonizers imposed that on us, and made us forget. But in the process we've also taken everything that they left behind, everything that they threw at us, and created something that can only come from us.

The lanterns that the Spaniards used to light the way to the morning masses they made us attend became our globally known symbol of Christmas. The junked vehicles that the Americans left behind in World War 2 are now rolling works of art that announce themselves loud and proud on the streets (for better or for worse). The iced dessert recipe that the Japanese forced us to learn while they were occupying the country is now so distinct and famous it is synonymous with us, and is so delicious even Italy has taken notice.

Even after all this? Even after all the 425-ish years total we have been under a foreign power, with all the progress we've made as a country, a people, and a nation, you would still imply our fragmented, jigsaw puzzle state of being in the past was better just because it was pure 'South East Asian' like everyone else?

We might not be as well put-together as Indonesia or Malaysia, but we made this melting pot of angry, leg-pulling, dogpiling, Native, Mestizo, Chinoy, and Fil-Am crabs OURS, damnit!

It's now 4:30 AM and I have work in 5 or so hours. I'll be going to sleep now.

[hemo-nobin]

General Headcanons ; Hemo's Favorites

//First post! I wanted to start this off by plotting exactly how I’ll write these characters. Am I breaking my ‘three per headcanon’ rule? Yes, but I’m kind of on a writing kick at the moment and I feel like taking on a bit more. Anyways, have my personal favorites from the bunch! This may get a little ramble-y, I’m writing this from a place of massive hyperfixation,  but I’ll try to keep that to a minimum!

//Also! There’s a few more that I’m surprisingly unable to come up with too many ideas for at the moment. I’ll add them later if they don’t get requested before then!

Characters featured : Eyeless Jack, Jane, Hoodie/Brian, BEN Drowned

[Eyeless Jack]

Okay!! Honestly EJ’s been one of my favorites for a long while. There’s a few variations of his backstory that I’ve seen, but I’ll leave that up to your imagination. What I will say, though, is that I don’t picture him as human. 

Going off of the depiction I have from a plot I’m doing with someone else, he’s closer to a demon than anything. 

Jack’s a little stand-offish, not a total recluse but he’s wary of most new people that come into his life. He isn’t fearful, no, but there’s a slight difference between how he interacts with people he’s more comfortable around versus those he’s not quite used to yet. It’s the human part of him

Though, he can be a little smug sometimes. Isn’t afraid to flaunt his strengths - whether it’s his physical strength or vast knowledge on a few different topics. It’s mainly medical stuff, though he’s also familiar with a handful of other subjects

Jack tends to keep a stockpile of his ‘food’ in case something happens to prevent him from going out for more. It’s not a good thing if he goes hungry for too long…

The way he goes about getting his food supply varies depending on the circumstances. Generally he tries to keep the impact low, often drugging the victim to make sure they remain unconscious, taking what he needs, and stitching them back up before leaving. Sometimes, though, things stray a little more on the gory side…

[Jane]

This is going off of the story released by BanningK (Youtube link here! https://youtu.be/5lBNmRtPJr8). I listened to it while writing part of this and ended up really liking this variation of her backstory. 

So Jane-

Honestly the whole vigilante(?) thing she’s got going is super cool imo! 

She’s generally a cold, somewhat distant woman with a much warmer personality behind those icy walls.

Yet another one who has difficulty letting others in, though it’s for a different reason. She’d lost everyone she’d ever cared about, lost the life that she’d known. It’s not easy to just let someone else in after that. 

Survivor’s guilt? Survivor’s guilt. 

She still retains her interest in the darker things - true crime, the occult, things like that. Even if she’s still a little touchy on certain topics, her interests and curiosity propels her to push through. 

More calculated than you might think. She’s smart, meticulous, and sometimes a little over-prepared but after all she’s experienced? You can’t really blame her. 

I could also see her enjoying things like crochet? It’s more the aspect that keeps her hands busy and allows her to have something nice at the end of it, so anything like that falls into the same category. 

Likely takes walks whenever she’s feeling stressed or past trauma resurfaces. Prefers to do it while it’s light out considering she’d be going alone most times, though will occasionally go at night if someone else comes with her. Sure, she’s much more capable and could handle an assailant easily, but being attacked in the woods still kind of sticks with her. 

[Hoodie | Brian Thomas]

Okay so I love and adore all of the proxies BUT

I’m writing this coming off a full analysis of the Marble Hornets series and holy fuck.

Even if the ‘canon’ for Creepypasta doesn’t exactly mesh with MH I don’t c a r e

Onto the actual headcanons! You likely won’t see much of Brian anymore, not after everything that’s led him to this point.

Quiet as hell. I don’t mean this in the sense that he doesn’t talk much (which is also true), he’s the type to sneak up on people without even meaning to. Has likely scared the others on a few occasions by just popping up out of nowhere.

Fairly chill outside of missions. Even if he’s not present too often he’s definitely more on the relaxed side (especially compared to some of the others). 

If one does manage to get on his good side, expect to have a very loyal friend. Things might be a little finicky at the very beginning, but his paranoia will die down pretty fast after that point. 

Will sometimes just...disappear for a couple days. No one really knows where he goes, but he always ends up coming back sooner or later. The others learned to stop asking pretty quick, there's no getting answers out of him.

[BEN Drowned]

One word - s h i t h e a d

A fucking menace.

I’m not sure if I think of him as more of a demon or a malevolent spirit, but it’s somewhere around there. 

There’s two sides to him - most times he’s pretty mellow, has a tendency to mess with the others but he’s pretty cool with the others. Other times? It’s scary how he gets when going after a victim. 

It’s not much of a secret, but Ben isn’t the type to take his work quickly. He’s meticulous in the way he works. Even if it’s more time consuming than he likes, it’s undeniably effective. Without getting into the gory details, let’s just say the end result is never a pretty sight. 

Also has a tendency to people watch! Not by normal means of course, it’s more like he picks someone (most times at random, though if someone catches his interest he might come back) and just watches them from behind the screen. 

Will stay in his room for days at a time if he’s really invested in something. Even if he doesn’t exactly need to eat or drink he has a mini fridge stocked to hold him over. 

All in all, he’s a fucking degenerate. 

[joachimnapoleon]

I'm reading a preview of Charles-Eloi Vial's "Histoire des Cent-Jours" on Amazon, in which the author mentions that when Napoleon was on Elba, he reconciled with Murat. Do you know anything about this matter?

The subject of the reconciliation between Napoleon and Murat is one of those things about which I still have as many questions as answers.

Correspondence between the two during Napoleon’s exile on Elba is borderline nonexistent; I haven’t come across any letters from Murat to Napoleon from this time, so unless there’s something locked away in the private Archives Murat in the French National Archives, it probably no longer exists.

But, there was certainly some correspondence between them. There’s really no way to know how much, but Napoleon’s Correspondance Générale contains letters to Murat during the Elban exile and also references to other letters between them made by Napoleon to Bertrand. I was surprised to learn recently--thanks to @josefavomjaaga for sending it to me from her volume of the Correspondance--that Napoleon actually wrote to both Murat and Caroline shortly after his arrival on Elba. Both letters are dated 11 May 1814; Napoleon informs both of them of his having just arrived on Elba. He tells them both of Pauline’s impending arrival and asks for Caroline to send him news through someone she trusts.

Pauline arrives on Elba, and then leaves for Naples almost immediately after; I don’t think she’s on Elba for more than a couple days before she departs for Naples. She remains in Naples for months before her return to Elba, and it’s generally believed that she served as the go-between to effect the “reconciliation” between Murat and Napoleon. It’s assumed she was sending letters back and forth between the two. How many letters? What were the contents? There’s really no way to know. Napoleon references one specific letter from Murat, in September 1814, while writing to Bertrand on 9 September:

I have received a very tender letter from the king of Naples; he claims to have written to me several times but I doubt it, it seems that the affairs of France and Italy set his head straight and make him affectionate.

There’s nothing else until the eve of Napoleon’s departure from Elba. He fires off two letters to Murat on 17 February 1815 to let him know he’s sending him a man by the name of Colonna “in order to communicate to you some important and urgent matters,” no doubt about Napoleon’s upcoming return to France. Colonna, he tells Murat, “is authorized to sign every convention Your Majesty may desire with regards to our affairs…. Your Majesty must in particular trust in everything he tells you about my attachment and the high consideration with which I remain.” The second letter from the same day thanks Murat “for what you have done for the countess Walewska,” reiterates that Colonna is coming and “will tell you some big and important things. I’m counting on you and most importantly on utmost speed. Time is pressing. My love to the queen and to your children.” An undated, ciphered letter from Portoferraio, believed to be written between 22-26 February, tells Murat that he’s just waiting for favorable conditions to make his escape: “The winds have been increasing for the last three days and have forced the English warship to move somewhat away from our shores. But it can return any moment and my brick is not capable of competing with it. If I had one of your vessels, I would leave in broad daylight and I would sink anything that stood in my way.” Murat actually does end up sending a vessel, but by the time it gets to Elba, Napoleon has already left.

So, there probably was more correspondence between them, either written or verbal--but there’s just no record of it.

It’s important to point out that Murat’s “allies” (particularly the British) were looking for any excuse they could find during this period to justify turning on and dethroning him. Proof of a correspondence with Napoleon would’ve given them all the ammunition they needed. This is where it gets interesting. Napoleon will claim later on Saint Helena that the allies “doctored” Murat’s papers (to prove there was a correspondence between the two during the Elban exile). And there is an interesting excerpt from the memoirs of Dedem, who claims that the Congress of Vienna received, via the French Bourbons, copies of letters between Murat and Napoleon, left by a careless person close to Murat. I’m assuming that this individual (whom Dedem leaves unnamed save his first initial) is M. de Baudus, former tutor of the Murat children, sent by Napoleon to Toulon as an intermediary after Murat’s defeat at Tolentino; Baudus was to inform Murat that Napoleon would not receive him in Paris, that he was to stay put for the time being under a sort of house arrest while events played themselves out (Napoleon was on the way to Waterloo), and that Napoleon blamed Murat for having “ruined” France in 1814 and having “compromised her and ruined himself” in 1815. Anyway, here is the excerpt from Dedem:

The Tuileries cabinet had sent copies of his correspondence with Napoleon, and it was on these certified copies that Joachim was tried and condemned. Well, thanks to the thoughtlessness of the Count de B… who forgot (in following the King to Ghent) all his correspondence in an armoire at the chateau, we now know that all these letters had been truncated. Napoleon found the originals with the minutes of the copies drawn up in a way which served to lose Joachim; all the copies were in the hand of M. de B… attached by pins to the letters of the King of Naples.

Dedem includes the following footnote at the end of this paragraph:

It is from a man very worthy of trust, whom Napoleon had recalled to him in his cabinet during the Hundred Days and who neither loved nor complained of Joachim, that I have these details. He assured me that he had seen and re-read the letters several times.

So the Bourbons either found enough damning correspondence between Murat and Napoleon--or altered it enough to make it look damning--and sent it on to the Congress of Vienna so they could justify removing Murat from his throne once and for all.

Now, as to the matter of how sincere the “reconciliation” between Murat and Napoleon was… that’s another story. Louise Murat’s take is that the reconciliation was more sincere on her father’s part than on Napoleon’s:

So it was not long before the reconciliation took place and, if we can affirm that, for his part, it was as complete as possible, I do not know if… we will be able to affirm likewise that all traces of the past were also erased from the Emperor’s mind.

This subject bears some remarking on the relationship between the two men in general. There was a lot of bad blood between them by the time of Napoleon’s first exile, going back years before Murat’s treaty with Austria in 1814. Murat had felt ill-used and mistreated by Napoleon since at least 1809, things had gotten downright ugly between them in 1811, and in the aftermath of the 1812 campaign Murat was increasingly resentful of Napoleon’s treatment of him. Napoleon, for his part, had been incapable of trusting Murat since being informed, in 1809, of a scheme between Fouché and Talleyrand to have Murat succeed him in the event that Napoleon died without a legitimate male heir; much of his conduct towards Murat from that time forward comes across as deliberately spiteful and intentionally humiliating. Murat was vain and proud and it took him a long time to get over these kinds of slights and embarrassments. But, he was also capable of forgiving people he believed had wronged him--for example, Murat had restored Lavauguyon to his service years later after having suspected him of having an affair with Caroline in 1811. And I personally believe he retained a certain amount of affection for Napoleon even in spite of their nearly constant quarrels, and kept hoping to find some way to regain Napoleon’s affections, which he felt he had lost without ever quite understanding why; he concludes a letter to Napoleon in 1810 with “Love me as in Poland, as in Prussia, and I will love life again.” He didn’t enter into his decision to leave Napoleon in 1814 easily, and from everything I’ve seen it seems to have been extremely agonizing for him, and the news that the Allies had driven Napoleon from his throne and into exile in 1814 devastated both Murat and Caroline.

All of that being said, there was still some amount of self-interest in Murat’s attempting to aid Napoleon in 1815, and also in his striking out against the Austrians shortly after Napoleon reached France. Caroline believed that Napoleon would eventually drive them from the throne of Naples if he managed to keep his own, and Murat himself very likely saw the reason in this, and hoped he might safeguard himself by claiming all of Italy.

For Napoleon’s part, I tend to think Louise Murat was probably right; I think he saw Murat, being the only member of his family still on a throne, as a useful tool for his own eventual restoration. There’s a footnote in Bertrand’s Saint Helena cahiers basically saying that Napoleon never gave any indication of having genuinely forgiven Murat for 1814, and I personally think that’s probably the case. In mid-April of 1815--not even a week after sending Murat a letter from Paris, assuring Murat “You can count on my attachment,” Napoleon sends a note to his Minister of Foreign Affairs ordering a report on Murat’s conduct in 1814. My guess is, if Napoleon had triumphed at Waterloo and secured his throne, Murat still would’ve found himself in a world of hurt eventually. Murat seems to have anticipated this himself; in June 1815--actually the day after Waterloo, about which he was still oblivious--he is writing once more to Napoleon--the last letter he will ever write him--basically offering himself up on a silver platter:

I have nothing more to ask of Your Majesty, he can pronounce my fate unsparingly; your wishes, whatever they may be, will be carried out. Glad to be lost for you, no complaints will be heard from my mouth, but you can dispense with sending me in the future what they want to call consolations by people named as my friends; may your ministers make positively known to me the place of my exile; I will go there without a murmur.

[spaceorphanssecondbreakfastclub]

SO’s US Book Tour : Alabama

Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café

By Fannie Flagg

When I decided to start reading my way through the United States, it seemed obvious (and perhaps boringly so) that I’d just go through the list alphabetically.  And when I started researching which book I’d like to begin with, there seemed to be a lot of good choices -- specifically, the most famous (possibly) of Alabama fiction - To Kill a Mockingbird - which I, and everyone who's been through a US high school English class has probably read.  A lot of the books I came across felt a bit heavy, and I wanted to start this journey out on a somewhat lighter note.  

The reason I kept coming back to this one was that every blurb seemed to mention that it was about fun and friendship and sometimes murder, and I’ll be honest, that last bit paired with the praise of comedy did pique my interest.  The murder ends up not being so funny, but the book ends up being far more fascinating than I originally thought it would.  I didn’t know much about it when I started -- only that I had heard of the film but being too young for it when it came out -- and no one in my life ever talking about it, I hadn’t sought any information out about it.  

The book splits its time between time periods, which sort of reminds me of Forrest Gump (another Alabama based book), with an old lady sitting on a bench telling her life story, and the story of a small town close enough to Birmingham Alabama to eventually be swallowed up by the urban sprawl; mixed with a bit of that pro-women narrative of something like a League of Their Own.  But unlike Forrest Gump, whose narrative is mostly built on nostalgia for a time long gone, Fried Green Tomatoes still has themes that can resonate today.  

Set in the present day of 1987, Evelyn Couch is a middle-aged woman who doesn’t know what to do with her life.  She’s lived her life entirely by the book, and according to how women should act and be.  But one day she goes to visit her mother-in-law at a home when she meets Mrs. Threadgoode (Ninny) who begins to tell her long tale of the town of Whistle Stop and all of its residents -- most notably the Threadgoode and Peavey families -- those closest to running the cafe.  I really loved Evelyn’s arc in the novel.  She starts out being this really sad sack of a woman who is lost and lonely.  And Ninny provides her with an actual friendship, something she’s lacking completely, and helps her turn her life around.  

It’s fascinating looking back at the late 80s, where Evelyn is slowly starting to come into her own as a woman in her late 40s, but still somewhat confined by the fact that the 80s still had their own slew of issues regarding women.  Evelyn begins to push back on all of it -- and while clearly, now in the 2020s, women are still fighting, but we’ve come a long way since 1987.  

Still, it’s nice to see Evelyn grow as a person and a woman, and the fact that a friendship - and specifically a friendship with another, older woman - is nice to see.  Too often women are portrayed as young and competing, and the fact that this novel seems to celebrate the friendship of women, especially at different ages, and especially between older women, seems like such a thing of value.  Going with the theme of age -- I also like that it portrays women over 40 having interests and hobbies, and explores the idea that women’s lives don’t end if they get married and/or have children.  

The main crux of the story, however, revolves around the Threadgoode family -- most notably Ninny’s sister-in-law Idgie, a young woman who has tomboy-ish characteristics and could give Huck Finn a run for his money.  The thing about Idgie, however, and something that I was not expecting -- at ALL -- was her relationship with Ruth Jamison.  They’re lesbians, Howard.  The relationship is not explicit in any way, but it’s not subtle either.  Idgie and Ruth both declare their love for each other in romantic terms, and end up spending their lives together running the cafe.  I was not at all expecting a story about a couple of lesbians in a book about small town Alabama in the 30s, and yet, here I am, pleasantly surprised to see it as one of the threads.  I do wish there had been more defining mentions of it in the book, but for 1987, I think it’s rather bold to have it at all be the main love story in the novel.  

For what it’s worth, doing some research, I found that Fannie Flagg is a lesbian, so it’s nice that her voice of experience was able to help create such vivid characters.  The fact that Idgie and Ruth have a lesbian relationship is somewhat known by others, but never really commented on.  The book idealizes it a little -- but it can be passed off as a great friendship well enough that it retains believability.  If anything, my one nitpick would be that it falls into the narrative of ‘kill the gays’ with death of Ruth cutting her life short, but since her death isn’t the end (it’s hinted at early on), nor does it prop up anyone else’s emotional story -- but is another part of the ‘spanning a lifetime’ part of this epic tale, I’m letting it slide a bit.  

The book does go in-depth on the whole Threadgoode family, and what life was like during The Great Depression in small town Alabama, and how small town life changes as the years tumble into the 50s, 60s, and even 70s.  People come into your life, and people leave it, and the world around you changes as you begin to romanticize the time of your youth.  

A bit of the book is also dedicated to talking about the Peavey family -- a black family who works for Idgie at the cafe.  I wasn’t sure how the race angle was going to play out, the term ‘colored’ and the n-word are used judiciously -- but used in the context of the time period.  While there were times when I could tell it was definitely a book written by a white woman, the book never shied away from the difficulties black families had (and still have) in the south.  The nice thing is that the black characters were just as complex, just as fleshed out, and just as interesting as any of the white characters.  They weren’t caricatures or stereotypes -- they were people just trying to make it through life the same way white people were, only with a lot more difficulty.  

While the book kind of acts like a slice-of-life character examination -- it does have a major set piece in the murder of Ruth’s husband Frank, and who did it.  The mystery is not anywhere near the focus of the book, but all the threads of the book seem to tie around that one incident.  This is where I really enjoy Flagg’s storytelling.  At first the book bounces around from one piece of narrative to another, but the unfolding of why and how and what of this murder mystery buried within the character study is really a thing of beauty.  

Before I forget, the heart of this book is a celebration of southern (Alabamian) culture -- and one of my favorite aspects of this book is the fact that there are over a dozen recipes for good ole fashioned southern cooking in the back.  Food is another theme throughout the novel, and it just makes me smile that like any good southern household -- they can’t let you leave still feeling hungry.  

I really enjoyed this book -- much more than I thought I would when I picked it up.  There’s a lot packed into the 250-ish page book, and handles the themes it presents rather well.  It’s an easy read, and while light in tone, doesn’t shy away from its heavier subject material.  I would very much recommend it!