#so take a pink-themed sad captain
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hootydoot · 2 years ago
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What's the point of all this? I mean, why?
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ineffablelunatic · 2 years ago
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The Great British Bakeoff but it's Ghosts
This is going to be a longer post but here goes: (if you're British like me you'll understand this, if not you'll probably be confused)
Signature:
Pat - does something simple but wonderful that links back to his Yorkshire roots. (I feel like he would be a good baker.) He gets the Paul Hollywood handshake and immediately befriends the comedian hosts.
Mary - burns it.
Captain - does something from the time of rationing. He makes a very small cake with minimal ingredients, but for what it is it's quite good.
Fanny - makes something old fashioned, such as fruit cake or figgy pudding. It doesn't taste of much and she gets very offended when the judges say so.
Thomas - pours his heart and soul into the cake. Starts crying halfway through and has to take a break. He probably makes something fancy with pineapples or other unusual ingredients, just because he can.
Julian - brandy. He puts lots of brandy in the cake. He must have luck on his side, because it turns out surprisingly well. Maybe he bribed the judges.
Kitty - does something cute and pink and heart shaped. It's not that tasty but the judges don't want to be mean to her, and so they say it's delicious.
Humphrey - fairly average. He makes a two tier cake, and the top tier keeps falling off. At one point he leaves his head in the freezer.
Robin - Doesn't really know how to make cake, but he tries his best. He gets excited about the oven and messes with it just enough that the cake comes out perfectly cooked.
Technical:
1st place: Captain. Unsurprising, given he's good at following (and giving) orders.
2nd place: Humphrey. A little more unusual, but he seems to have a knack for baking now that he's reattached his head.
3rd place: Julian. Bribery, probably.
Last place: Mary. She burnt it.
Showstopper:
Pat - makes a scouts themed cake with marshmallows and chocolate. It's very tasty.
Mary - crème brulée. It's quite good, possibly because it's actually supposed to be burned.
Captain - makes Havers's favourite cake. Gets sad but won't tell anyone why. At least he didn't bury any explosives in it.
Fanny - very extravagant tiered cake. It has a replica of Button House on top, and it looks a little like a wedding cake. One of the windows keeps falling off. Strange, given it's the one she was pushed out of.
Thomas - Red velvet cake. He writes his poetry on the sides in food dye. It's decorated with small chocolate beads that look surprisingly like musket balls.
Julian - adds more alcohol. In fact, he spends so much time adding alcohol (and drinking it) that he runs out of time and isn't able to ice the bottom half of the cake.
Kitty - it's heart shaped again, and it has tiny fondant dolls on top that she made. They depict her, Alison, all of the ghosts, her father, and her sister - herself and the people she loves (even if not all of them deserve it).
Humphrey - he makes a french cake. It's very nice and all, but the instructions that his wife used to use are in french, and once again the top layer keeps falling off. Couldn't think why.
Robin - blows everyone away with an incredible Moonah Ston cake. It's very accurate, and there's something almost... electrical about the flavour. It's also perfectly cooked thanks to his fiddling with the oven.
Star baker:
Robin! Despite having no prior experience, he really managed to wow everyone with his showstopper. To celebrate he blows all of the fuses in the tent.
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deadinandout · 4 months ago
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About me!
New post punk blog!
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* ACCOUNT CONTENTS:
Tw for blood, gore, violence and occasional sexual themes
Graphic content will be on this account. Minors beware
LGBTQ+ friendly
homophobes, racists, and transphobes not allowed shoo shoo
I’m Sophie! 21 unsure about gender. she/he if u want. I’ve been into post punk and post punk adjacent music for about the last 6 years. Thought I’d make a sideblog dedicated to this everlasting hyper fixation. Maybe make some fellow post punk friends while I develop a collection of my favorite shit on this blog.
So here’s a bit about me (sorry I’m thorough):
Favorite post punk artists
The Damned
Clan of Xymox
Depeche Mode
The Cure
Skinny Puppy
Thrill Kill Kult
OMD
Siouxsie and the banshees
Alien sex fiend
Joy division/new order
The Mission
The Chameleons
Ghost dance/anne-marie’s skeletal family
Early Peter Gabriel
Concrete blonde
Every Daniel Ash project lmao
I love throbbing gristle but don’t listen to them much. I appreciate their influence on industrial music a lot. I had researched them for a class project! know a lot about them, side projects, and coum transmissions they kinda became a fixation of mine lol.
Other musicians I like
Oingo Boingo, Duran Duran, Pet Shop Boys, Gary Numan, Kate Bush, Phil Collins, Pink Floyd, Chvrches, Mcr fob (emo to goth pipeline yall get it), The Used, Thursday, Linkin park, Mitski and laufey enjoyer
Twin tribes, harsh symmetry, boy harsher, nuovo testamento, soft kill, ADULT., spike hellis, Lebanon Hanover for current post punk/80s sounding artists
Other post punk and adjacent bands I would like to get into more: Lycia, corpus delicti, virgin prunes, nin, lowlife, interpol, for against, slowdive, fad gadget, specimen, coil, front line assembly, Gang of Four, lush, nitzer ebb, the sound, and more I’ll stop there.
Other interests
Horror films (80s and Japanese) faves include pulse, ringu, reanimator, they live, saw 1-3, lost boys, near dark, from beyond
Art and tattooing (art blog :p @soiscla )
Video games! Especially horror and story games. faves include resident evil, silent hill, until dawn, tlou, sallyface, life is strange, beyond two souls, and dreadout
Big trekkie
Hannibal tv show :)))
Bats
Vampires
Goth and 80s fashion
Record collector
Random facts
Username:
5’2 and almost always wear my 4 inch demonias to shows
Almost ate shit at a Danny Elfman show
I have a DM strangelove tattoo with their hands spelling ‘love’ :)))) first 80s band that meant a lot to me so I dedicated my first tattoo to my love for dm and music in general.
I almost met Dave Vanian in the Mandalay Bay casino in LV but I had a panic attack and chickened out. my biggest regret
Although @ same show Dave did talk to my dad from stage so that made me happy maybe I’ll share that video some time
I have a captain sensible pick 😎
Going on 70 concerts. The live show grind don’t stop can’t stop
Fave shows I’ve been to include mcr reunion show, dm, ministry, OMD, thrill kill kult w/ ADULT., skinny puppy, and randomly Halsey in 2022 she was fantastic
After my ministry show I saw bill leeb of FLA getting take out, again walking through a casino, I thought this was funny so Ill put it here
Cruel world fest enjoyer. Got to see Bauhaus, Siouxsie, ministry play with sympathy, love and rockets, and tones on tail. All dreams of mine to hear live
Saw morrissey for like 3 songs at CW and got bored and left early. Too bad so sad
Welcome to my brain rot :)
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ppravitas · 1 year ago
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TAGGED BY: @tacticalvalor TAGGING: you.
MUSE PLAYLIST
► MAIN: aim for the head / creature feature
↳ can i pose a question? / how do you kill what is dead? / i just shoot from the hip / and i aim for the head / he used to be your friend / that was another life / with a single bullet / we're gonna blow his mind [...] nail up all the windows / they've come to settle the score / make sure no chamber is bare / they're right outside the door / this is a test of your strength / and your will to survive / if you give up now, they're gonna eat you alive
► SILLY: nobody likes me / the northern boys
↳ brother, look / wank myself with a single finger, captain hook / then i go smoke my pipe with a random man in a dark and weary nook / bought a transgender man two pints / can i get lucky and fist him tonight? / constrict my cock with a pink hair tie / not too tight, no, i don't wanna die
► DETERMINATION: back and forth / dr steel
↳ i'd never lie to you / y'know i'd die for you / yeah, i love you too / just do what you do / consume and gobble it up, c'mon show me some love / or i'll be blowing you up / i'm lying through my teeth / to get everything that i need / i'll be what you want me to be / that's why i'm dancing back and forth [...] free me / i'll drag a burning smile across this nation
► BATTLE: a soul can't be cut / kit walters
↳ my ears are ringing with a sound / feel the vibrations, my heart starts to pound / give in to darkness, bodies melt / how do we play the cards we've been dealt? / beauty, it's humanity's greatest sin / beauty hiding the beast that lies within / for all our righteous crimes we compensate / but as for me, it's far too late
► SAD: lullaby bye / dr steel
↳ with no one around this robot fell down / and the crank, it broke off of his head / with the jog to his hard drive, he felt all alive / the old robot he used to be, dead there was rage in his brain, there was pain in his frame / there was love, there was hunger, and strife / he felt lonely, rejected, at times disconnected / no answer to the meaning of life / so he sang
► RELAXED: sickness unto foolish death / akira yamaoka
↳ no lyrics for this one :3 but it's about sin and despair. yay!
► CONTEMPLATIVE: childhood (don't) a go-go / dr steel
↳ and i'm constructing this fantasy / imagination is saving me from the world i despise / and what about loneliness? / what about friends? / what about winning and getting revenge? / and what about all of the things that they've done? / it's time for some payback / it's time for some fun
► HAPPY: homewrecker / marina
↳ i'm only happy when i'm on the run / i break a million hearts just for fun / i don't belong to anyone / i guess you could say that my life's a mess / but i'm still looking pretty in this dress / i'm the image of deception
► HARD WORK MONTAGE: kill everyone / hollywood undead
↳ oh no, here comes the riot / does everything have to resort to violence? / if you think you can hide, go and try it / now let's let the fucking gun break the silence / close your eyelids / another shot and then here come the sirens / i thought i told you to keep fucking quiet / somebody's dying, so come say goodbye kids
► LOVE THEME: e.v.o.l / marina
↳ candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker / every kiss you give me makes me sicker / a day in the dark, a day in a cloud of gloom / i look at you, you look at me / milk and roses, squeaky clean / well you're the best i've ever seen / and i'm your dying beauty queen / it only takes two lonely people / to fuck love up and make it evil / it only takes a drop of evil / to fuck up two beautiful people
► BREAKUP / HEARTBREAK: power & control / marina
↳ but love will always be a game / we give and take a little more / eternal game of tug and war / power and control / i'm gonna make you fall / i'm gonna make you fall / we give and take a little more / 'cause all my life i've been controlled / you can't have peace without a war / without a war, without a war
► FAILURE / DEFEAT: cirice / ghost
↳ a candle casting a faint glow / you and i see eye to eye / can you hear the thunder? / how can you hear the thunder that's breaking? / now there is nothing between us / from now our merge is eternal / can't you see that you're lost? / can't you see that you're lost without me?
► FINAL BATTLE: world burn / taylor louderman
↳ i wanna watch the world burn / i got the gasoline / i wanna watch the world burn / and everyone get mean / cady, time to watch your back / cady, time to turn and cough / because you took me down / but you didn't finish me off
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ererokii · 4 years ago
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Sooo... This request thing. You're aweosme 👉👈
Ooh boy it's a long one (changed it a bit)
-Erens so cute when he purrs and when you mention his curiosity and twitching ears ears and gentle touch, so as not to hurt the reader.
-when he kinda is paying attention to, analysing the reader or protecting them its SO cute
-It would maybe end as like cuddles and things and just... Talking. To him and him grunting or just nodding or thinking replies.
-Maybe be at night.
-Maybe it would start with... Eren In human form.
-Maybe he figures out that you don't think his titan form is so ugly but still a little new and scary and that maybe you like it
- Bam if you can somehow NSFW that... Uhmm?
So he... Turns into a titan and then. Some NSFW or just. Maybe he like. Scares or teases the reader on purpose for a reaction?
-And then NSFW somehow if you wanna put that in. Sorry for the way I type I'm kinda doing it as it all appears in my head lol
-I like your cute, and desperate eren, but also attentive and caring. I haven't seen you write a very cheeky or playful titan eren so maybe that would be nice.
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I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS ONE. Here you monsterfuckers, take your TITAN SMUT.
WARNINGS: MONSTERFUCKING. Oral (f receiving), mention of voyeurism, overstimulation, dumbification, multiple orgasms, edging, characters are 18+.
If these themes make you uncomfortable or you rather avoid, please block the tag “AOT SMUT” WC: 1.7K
Also thank you to the amazing @galair for this beautiful art🥺 everyone go check her out
Eren stays deep within his thoughts as he hums to himself, staring up at the starry sky. His loose strands tickle the shell of his ear, itching to scratch away at it but refuses. He can’t recall the conversation before the silence. It’s always been on his mind, but he’s been inquisitive as to what you saw him as, even if he knew the answer.
Am I a monster to you? Or am I just like you?
You knew Eren was quite insecure with himself when it came to his titan powers; no matter how many times he asked you that, you always gave him the same answer.
You were never a monster; you’re just a broken human like me. 
For some reason, that has never failed to put a smile on his face. Being able to categorize himself with humans made him feel complete, separate from the monster people used to call him when he discovered the powers. 
But know that he’s aware (once again) of how you feel, does he scare you?
Maybe he could ask you--, but he doesn’t want to ruin the mood at all. Now that he thinks of it, he can’t recollect a moment where you’ve seemed scared to be in his presence, unlike other comrades who look like they’ll leak themselves any moment. 
Without even thinking, he blurts out the question. His eyes widen slightly when he realizes the words slipped past his lips.
“Am I scared of your titan form?” you ask, glancing over at him as you sit up, staring down at him from your position. “I mean, it is always somewhat overwhelming to see something so much bigger than me, and when I sit in your hands but no, besides that, I'm not.”
“Do you think it’s ugly?”
“I don’t,” you say with a smile, legs crisscrossed. “I think it’s unique. You know, just for you. I think it’s quite cute and--” you trail off, glancing over to the side. “--somewhat hot,” you cough in between words, hoping he missed that.
“Hot?” he asks, a hint of smugness evident in his tone.” You think it’s hot?” he leans up on his elbows, a smirk curled at his lips. “Why is that?”
“W-Well, I’m not going to tell you that! That’s too personal.”
“What if I turned right now?”
“Y-You can’t! Captain Levi and Hanji would come to chew you out if you did!”
“Hanji gave me the go-ahead to transform whenever I wanted to, just not to cause destruction,” he gets up with a grunt, backing up a few feet back. By the time he was in position before you could speak, lightning struck the earth, the ground crumbling from the shock. 
You dug your fingers into the ground, lowering your head from the gusts of wind. In no time, it calmed down as you avert your gaze upward, emeralds stare down at you from high above, brown tresses swooshing in the air. 
“You did,” you breathed out, releasing your grip on the dirt. Your hands are unsteady, still trying to compose yourself from the sudden change.
He’s not moving, standing as still as a statue before he drops to his knees, the birds sound asleep in the trees now awake and flying away from the commotion. Your heart feels as if it could burst from the confinements of your chest. 
Your left eye peeks open, cowering within yourself. Your body freezes when you see how close he is. His body is lowered to the ground; knees pushed in like a Sphinx. His eyes glow in the darkness, a new feeling taking over your body. 
His heavy breathing fans over your face, his head cocked to the side as if he was examining your small figure. He finds humor in your expression, nudging your body with his nose.
From the small force added, it caused your body to get pushed back. His ears twitch, the tips sticking upward. He moves forward, doing it once more.
“Eren, quit it,” you huff, sticking your arms out to keep him from doing it again-- which he’ll end up doing too. There’s no doubt that in that nape, he’s having the time of his life. 
He wonders what else he can do like this. He thinks for a minute, noises emitting from his throat. He sticks one of his hands out, shakily raising a finger, and places his hands in between your legs. 
He catches your gaze, his tongue peeking as he leans forward, barely pressing the tip against the bare skin of your neck. The new sensation causes your breath to hitch in the back of your throat, eyeing the pink flesh before gulping lowly.
Eren pulls away, looking at your skirt that happened to ride up your legs. His eyes seem to darken as his mouth closes, teeth grinding against each other. 
“Eren?” you question him as he inches closer, his head lowering slightly to the ground. You’re about to call for him again, but his tongue makes an appearance also, pushing the material up more. Your eyes enlarge, fingers curling around the fabric of your shirt-- to which looks like fear in his eyes. 
A noise of somewhat sadness comes from him, his ears lowering. 
“N-No, it’s okay, Eren,” you stutter, face heating up from his motions. If you were honest, you could feel a small wetness pool in between your legs. 
Before you know it, the tip of his tongue is in between your legs, the muscle lapping over your clothed cunt. Your arms are shaky as you let out a little gasp that sounds so cute to his ears; he can’t help but circle it around your clit. 
A predatory look is in his eyes, looking down like you were his meal. The muscle goes sound, poking at your slicked entrance. Panting, you glance down at the position and pull your panties aside, shivering from the chilly wind and hot breathing in between your legs. 
His jaw slacked; he works wonders on your needy cunt. The texture and saliva are enough to make you sensitive on the spot. Your eyes roll back as you chant his name, his tongue licking stripes up and down your folds, squelching noises occurring from his rapid movement. 
Your legs are shaking from the overwhelming sensation. God, it’s becoming too much, but you can’t stop him, nor if you wanted to. You felt as if you would fall to the depths of the earth but yet stayed in reality. 
The tip flicks at your folds, an incoherent noise getting stuck in the back of your throat when he begins to move it side to side rather than up and down. 
You’re so needy for him at this point. You want him to stuff your tight cunt with his cock, to feel him stretch you out as he fucks you to no end. Having him do this to you was on another level of ecstasy, but you would accept it if this came up again. 
The pressure he puts on your fragile body is enough to send you backward, but the way your heels dig into the ground and his gentle touches prevent that from happening. The slick left in between your thighs trickle down to your ass; the feeling becomes uncomfortable but erotic. 
“Fuck baby,” you whisper, head falling back, staring up at the sky with lidded eyes. “Fuu..p-please don’t stop,” you slur, thoughts clouding with nothing but immense pleasure.
God, what if someone caught you? The adrenaline running through your body wouldn’t even let you care about that. But the thought of someone hearing you moan out pathetically as Eren licks away at your cunt, have you moaning out. 
You wouldn’t be surprised if someone overheard. Eren’s tongue was a gift that meant to be cherished, even if that meant having him do this every day for you to get used to the sticky yet warmth radiating from the muscle.
The inside of your legs trembles, your head spinning in circles, rubbing small lazy circles on your puffy clit, desperate to be touched by his tongue. Your hole was being circled, his tongue barely pressing before retracting; the little shit was teasing you. 
One of his fingers gently places over your leg to keep you from moving so much. His finger alone is enough to make you feel weighed down. 
Your lips are moving, but nothing is coming out; no noise, no words. You’re completely out of it. Your fingers are clenching and unclenching around nothing, barely holding onto whatever it was you were. If someone were to ask you what day it was, you wouldn’t be able to tell the time of day or where you were at. 
“ ‘M gonna cum,” your voice comes out soft yet needy, shifting your hips side to side, bucking your hips to the best of your ability. “I wanna cum on your tongue.”
His eyes flicker, a stripe licked up between your folds before resting on your clit-- a place that desperately needs attention. 
Your delicate body is on the brink of defeat; an orgasm after orgasm washes over your body, and he shows no signs of stopping. You’re practically gushing at this point, your juices running down his jaw. You’ve made many feeble attempts to push him away; a growl would emit from him when you tried to do so. 
Sweat trickles down your face into your clothes, causing the front of your shirt to stick onto your skin—short breaths of air, hiccups erupting from your throat. Your eyes roll back as your body finally gives out, falling backward onto his hand that was keeping you upright. 
As you fall, a purring sound reaches your ears as his tongue finally retracts from your mess cunt, his eyes glancing at your slick sticking to you. His finger rubs the inside of your thigh, gently wiping away the transparent substance. His ears flicker as he listens to your heavy breathing, trying your best to catch the air that was taken away from you. 
He lovingly nuzzles his nose against your patella, his dark tresses tickling your supple skin. After being pushed through multiple orgasms, you weren’t even sure if you could walk or get up from this position. 
But he finally got his answer as to why you thought he was hot. 
Taglist: @trafalgar-temptress @galair @shisoaya @eremiie @bakuhoesworld @sweetdanibear @blueelionn @grabakitcata @erenstellar @onyxoverride @vinishsama @cellarhapsodos @connieswifey @murmikaa (please message me to be added!!)
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diamond-coral · 3 years ago
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The Heist- Part Two
Steve x Reader Chapter Summary: Steve sees you working at a club. Now Steve wants you...and he’ll have you.
Series Warnings: dark, rape/non-con, kidnapping, stripper themes, swearing, crime
Chapter Warnings: male masturbation, swearing, stripper themes, kidnapping, crime, mild violence, threats of rape/non-con, creepy crazy stevo
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Steve had begrudgingly went to the strip club with Bucky and Sam because, as Sam said, ‘Modern women are somethin’ else compared to the 1940’s.’. Bucky was much more enthusiastic to see how much things had changed as a once been ladies’ man from the 40’s even if it meant having to go with Sam who bickered with him every five minutes. And while Bucky’s enthusiasm remained as they entered the club, the blaring music, flashing lights, and women in skimpy outfits had Steve remaining unimpressed.
Until he saw you.
You weren’t on the stage but rather talking to a coworker in the back of the room, a tray of drinks in one hand and a smile on your face that could light up a room. An honest, genuine smile that stood out in a room filled with nothing but empty sultry smiles given by dancers. Your coworker said something, and you threw your head back and let out a laugh that Steve could’ve sworn he had heard ringing all the way across the club over the blaring music.
You were perfect.
While you were still scantily clad in nothing but a light pink shimmery sheer top that showed your bra perfectly cupping your breasts, a pair of barely their black shorts, and black heels that had his eyes dragging up and down your legs, your demeanor and posture was more relaxed, and that’s what he loved. You weren’t sticking your tits out in front of you or pushing your ass back, but were rather slouched a little, eyes shimmering with excitement as you talked. What Steve saw of you was raw and authentic, and he loved it.
Sam’s voice interrupted Steve from his daydreaming, and Steve shot him a look of irritation causing Sam to raise his hands in defense.
“Woah there loverboy,” Sam chuckled. “I was just gonna suggest, you should ask for a dance from that girl you’re ogling over.”
“And before you go over and court her with your righteousness and whisk her away to waltz like prince charming, he means a lapdance, punk,” Bucky says while taking a sip of his drink.
“I- I was’t ogling,” Steve sputtered, but let out a sigh of defeat at Sam’s raised eyebrow. “I’m not gonna ask for a lapdance. Besides, she seems to be just waiting tables. I wouldn’t wanna interrupt-”
“You’re hopeless,” Sam teased as he brought his fingers to his mouth to let out a shrill cab whistle. You turned, and Sam caught your attention, beckoning you over with two fingers.
“Hiya fellas,” you said, and Steve frowned a little at the sultry voice you put on. “What can I help you with?”
“Just another round of drinks, sugar. Oh- and-” Sam leaned to whisper something in your ear and Steve noticed your eyes widening a little before your gaze snapped to him, a small smile on your painted lips.
“Of course,” you responded to Sam. “I’ll be back with your drinks shortly.”
As you turned to leave, Steve frowned at Sam. “What did you tell her,” he asked.
“Oh nothing much. Just mentioned that THE Captain America was looking for a little bit of fun tonight.”
Steve pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a groan. “Sam you dumbass.”
“Hey, he’s doing more about it than you,” Bucky interjected. “Sometimes it’s just sad watching you when you just sit and do - oh shit here she’s comes.”
“Alright, and I’ve got another round of drinks,” you said cheerfully while distributing the glasses. “And you, Mr. Rogers…” You sat on one of Steve’s thick thighs while placing your hands on the collar of his button up shirt and smoothing it down. “You’re friend told me you’re lookin’ for something… special tonight?”
Steve’s throat was dry and he was sure you could feel his heart practically beating out of his chest. “Oh well...I um-I.”
“What Mr. Womanizer would like to say is that he accepts your offer,” Sam offered, and Steve shot him what was probably the one-hundredth dirty look of the night.
“Well then.” You got off his lap and tugged on his arm. “I’d be happy to oblige.”
________________________________________________________________
Half an hour later, Steve returned a mess. The first few buttons of button up were undone, his hair was tousled, his cheeks flushed, and his heart hadn’t stopped racing.
“Good time?” Bucky inquired with a smirk.
Steve could barely form any words other than ‘where’s Sam’ to which Bucky pointed to the crowd of sweaty dancing bodies where Sam was shamelessly grinding on some woman.
“Oh God, I need a drink.” Steve fixed his hair with one hand while the other dipped into his pocket to retrieve a flask of Asgardian liquor Thor had given him.
“Was she that good?” 
“Well yes, but it wasn’t just the dance. It was her,”  Steve answered while burying his face in his hands. He felt like the scrawny kid from Brooklyn again. Completely flustered as he chased after a girl totally out of his league. “I don’t know Buck, she’s just-she’s just perfect.”
“Stevie, look around you. Every woman here is practically perfect. And they’re goddesses. That girl is just a girl.”
“No it’s just- you don’t understand. She’s just…” Steve let out an exasperated sigh and Bucky’s eyes softened.
“Wow you really like her don’t ya?” Steve just nodded in reply. “Well what if we came back again when she’s working?”
“No that wouldn’t work,” Steve said. “But...I think I have an idea.”
“And am I involved in this idea at all?”
“Maybe.” Steve laughed at his friend who groaned.
Steve then continued to explain his plan. He pointed out the coworker you had been friendly with when he first saw you, and asked Bucky to get some information out of her since he was the less recognizable out of the two. Steve needed to see you again. Not just that...he needed you. You were just so perfect for him, and Steve knew that the moment he laid eyes on you. The genuineness of your smile and laugh, just the way you were so authentic amidst your surroundings just showed you didn’t really belong in this environment or even this time period of imitation and phonies. But you belonged with him. And he’d preserve that authenticity. 
Bucky just simply nodded, and at first Steve was nervous that his best friend was going to call him crazy, but after a bit, Bucky got up and snatched Steve’s flask while flashing him a grin.
“Bout time we got you a girl, huh pal?”
Steve sighed in relief, and as Bucky trotted off, he went to find Sam.
Steve explained to Sam that he was gonna go home while Bucky worked some “wingman magic” and Sam started letting out fits of laughter at how THE Captain America was ‘down bad’. 
Finally, after Sam had finally calmed down, he wished him goodbye and headed home.
He had some things to take care of.
________________________________________________________________
As Steve guided his hand up and down his shaft, all he could think about was you.
Your tits, your ass that had ground on his crotch at the club, your red lips around he imagined on his cock. You’d probably use your skilled hands as well, not being able to fit his entire member into your mouth. 
Steve’s thoughts didn’t stop there.
He thought about how your hips moved while in the private dance room. He thought about how although you were undeniably sexy, you were also so kind to him, once in a while asking if everything was okay and if he wanted anything else from you. He thought about how you simply smiled and let out your angelic laugh as Steve fumbled and stuttered, simply putting your hands over his and telling him everything was okay and he could sit back and relax, not having to take charge after a long day of commanding people. The light pink color of your lingerie was so beautifully innocent as your body moved lewdly in contrast. And he loved it.
Steve came with a shout to the image ingrained in his mind.
________________________________________________________________
A few minutes after Steve had cleaned up and taken a much needed cold shower, he received a call from Bucky.
“You’re right,” Bucky’s voice spoke through the phone. “Two drops of that Asgardian shit and she was completely mentally clocked out. Told me everything about your girl.” 
As Bucky told Steve your name, Steve tried it out on his tongue for himself.
“Also told me a little bit of a little side job they got goin on. Your girl’s a bit of a criminal, Stevie. Sure you still want her?”
“I’m sure she has her reasons.”
“Well you’re right in that actually. According to...Bella-yeah I think that’s her name-,” Bucky recounted. “They steal from people to pay for rent and art school. And I just so happened to tell her about some skeevy old timer government worker who happened to be loaded from scamming low income taxpayers. Who also happens to live at your address.”
“Wait, you want her to rob me?!” Steve exclaimed.
“Will you just let me finish?” Bucky took Steve’s silence as an opportunity to continue. “I told Bella no one would be home while your girl does the job, but obviously you’ll be home so she can’t get away. She’s literally coming to you on a silver platter pal. Could it get any better than that?”
Steve took a moment to consider the situation before replying. “You’re right. Thanks pal. I really owe you one.”
Bucky chuckled. “Well I got one hell of a blow job so I’ll say we’re almost even. Anyway, she’ll be comin in a week, so that’ll give you plenty of time to prepare.”
_______________________________________________________________
You awoke slowly to sunlight streaming through your apartment window, your bed feeling more comfortable than usual, and a warm arm wrapped around your-
What the hell?
Your body thrashed as you jolted awake and flung yourself away from the body next to you in the bed that very much wasn’t yours in the apartment that was always not yours. Steve Rogers just sat up on his elbows and gave a groggy smile at your frazzled state.
“Mornin’ sweetheart.”
You recalled your memory, trying to see if this was some sort of drunken hookup, and it all came back to you. The heist, him coming home early.
“Didn’t mother ever tell you stealing is wrong?” were the words he had said before he had grabbed your hair in an iron grip and smashed your head on the near coffee table. Everything was black after that.
“Oh my God...you,” you began to back away from him.
“I what, sweetheart?” he mused. “Last time I checked, this is my apartment, and you were the one breaking and entering.”
You scrambled backwards off the bed, but just as you were about to reach the bedroom door, something cold and hard pulled against your ankle causing you to topple face first onto his carpet. Turning your head, you observed a metal cuff secured around your ankle with a chain leading back to the foot of the bed. 
Steve used the time you took panicking and hyperventilating to get out of bed and leisurely stretch his arms as if this was a normal occurrence. He approached you cautiously as if you were a wild animal and bent down to softly cup your face with a large hand.
“It’s okay, doll, I didn’t hurt you. Just let you sleep a bit before I caught you up to speed today.”
“Did- did you…,” you sniffled at the thought of what that man could’ve done to you while you slept.
“No. God no!” You nerves calmed a little bit as you were reassured that America’s hero was still the gentlemanly golden boy you met at the club. That was before he tilted your chin to meet his sinister gaze. “I wanted our first time to be while you were awake.”
Your heart dropped. This man was crazy.
You began to frantically yank at the chain on your ankle and your breathing became shorter.
“Hey. Hey! Stop it!” he urged before grabbing both of your hands and holding them in a steel grip. “Listen. I know this is all..new...but you need me. And I need you. When I saw you at the club, you were just so perfect. You’re not like those other women. You don’t belong there. You don’t belong in this life. I can take care of you. I will take care of you.” A tear slipped from your eye at his words but he just brushed it away with his thumb and continued. “You just don’t understand yet. When I saw you, I just knew you were meant for me. You’re perfect, doll.”
All you did was stare at him in disbelief and mutter, “You’re crazy.”
He went to soothe you again and brush a lock of hair away from your face, but you thrashed and said it louder.
“You’re crazy, you’re fucking crazy!”
“Doll, you don’t understand. I love you. And you’ll love me. I promise just give it some time and-”
“No you’re deranged. You’re FUCKING DELIRIOUS!!” you screech as your hand shot out and slapped him across the cheek.
The room went dead silent. You froze, and so did he. You had just slapped Steve Rogers across the face. You slapped the pure muscle mass six foot super soldier and called him delirious, and he looked hurt. His face was painted with a heartbroken look of regret, disbelief, and sorrow. But not from the slap. It’s like your words had hit him like a ten-ton truck, and for a second you saw doubt flicker across his eyes as if realizing that everything he imagined was in his head. And in that doubt was your hope. Your hope that this man would come to his senses and let you go.
“Steve...please, you have to realize this is wrong,” you said softly as he gave you a broken look. In that look you saw the scrawny kid from Brooklyn in the 1940s who only knew rejection, and your heart broke just a little bit. “What you’re feeling...it isn’t love.”
All of a sudden his demeanor changed. Any doubt in his eyes was wiped away in a nanosecond and replaced by a fierce look of determination. His face contorted into a snarl as he yanked you up with him by your hair and spun you around to press your front against the well.
“You dumb bitch,” he growled into your ear. “You think you don't need me when you’re a pathetic thief who whores herself out every night.”
You writhed in his hold but he just gripped your hair harder and let out a breathy laugh.
“You know...for someone like you to stoop so low as to work at that club...it makes me think. You wanna be treated like a whore?” he seethed. “Fine. I’ll treat you like a whore.”
a/n: don’t worry I don’t think working at a strip club is “low” at all. just some classic sexist bs from our good old 1940′s fav
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skyborn-reads · 3 years ago
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📜 Inspiration Is Here — an intuitive reading
For artists, writers, creative people who are searching for their Muse 💖 If you're feeling burned out, this reading is for you:
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Picture sources 1 ✦ 2 ✦ 3 ✦ 4
Sky 1 — Bubbles & Blasts
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Card drawn: Seven of Cups (reversed)
The main blockage you have right now is pressure; pressure you put on yourself to perform well, and pressure from people's expectations. A few of you are also pressured by a deadline. Step away from your project for a moment and take a breather. It's not easy to deliver what is expected of you, but soon you'll realise that most of what pressures you is fear and self doubt bringing you down. You have what it takes to do your best, you just have to believe in yourself more. Only then can you be in the best state to deliver the best results.
Inspirations for you: Loud jingles, beads, pearls, colourful stuff, loud happy stuff, popping sounds, things that remind you of childhood nostalgia, bubbles, children's laughter, candy balls, lights, the cup (on the card) that is filled with those pink purple and green balls
Sky 2 — Row, Row, Row Your Boat
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Card drawn: Six of Swords (reversed)
You've been feeling down for a while. You feel beaten down, depressed, feeling like you can never be happy again. I'm sorry that you've been feeling this way! You're very strong and are trying to move on from this phase of your life even though it is difficult. Don't worry, as I see that the sadness is coming to a close. Like the unicorn on the card you're rowing your boat to a safer, happier place and I'm proud of you that you didn't let life beat you down!
Inspiration for you: aquatic themes, sailing, multicolour cottonballs/candy, the other side, jungle-trekking, baking, soft sweetness, sugary French pastries, leaving behind whatever was in the past and getting onto the next stage of your life, not looking back, trust, build a stable foundation before you start something, make sure you're ready before committing yourself to something new
Sky 3 — London Bridge is Falling Down
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Card drawn: The Lovers (reversed)
First off what I notice is that you've stepped out of a period full of inspiration to a period where it's replaced with blocks and nothing else. Sometimes you go back and forth between these two modes. Very stark contrast. You're stuck between these two modes trying to push yourself forward but it's getting increasingly difficult. I have a feeling you are quite picky when it comes to your project and the direction you want it to go. It's like you want your project to go this way but when you're inspired to move another way you become stubborn and insist on it to be done the way you wanted. In a way this is good because you have a vivid vision of how you want the project to go but in another way this is also limiting you and might cause you to overlook certain potential. When it comes to creative things sometimes we have to be able to direct it well like a captain but also be free flow about it so it doesn't get too restrictive.
Inspirations for you: walking the path less trodden path, letting go of set standard for a while and just go freeform, look around you and see what items you could use that you've never noticed before, DIY, make something with your hands with usually overlooked material, lake, playing ball, reflection on the lake, fairies, nature, fresh cherries and tomatoes
Sky 4 — I Hear You Amidst The War
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Card drawn: Ten of Wands
There appears to be a lot of argumentative energy that causes this blockage. Perhaps you have just gotten out of a stressful argument with some coworkers or people within your community. You're trying to wrap it up and move on from this energy but deep down you know the damage has already been done. You can't just forget and move on no matter how much you wish to maintain the peace. What you can do though is to forgive yourself and any of your involvement that you feel regretful about. Have compassion for yourself and for those involved in the argument even if you don't see eye to eye with them. You're still learning, they're still learning and on this journey of bettering yourselves mistakes can happen. The fact that you're still trying to stay strong after this proves that you're stronger than what life throws at you. At the end of the day you have to lick your wounds and pick up where you left off, bravely, and with an unwavering smile. I wish you joy and a lot of success with what you're doing! 💕
Inspirations for you: the rear end, getting ready, warmups, catch your breath, it's okay to take a hiatus as long as you look after yourself, take time away, sugar candy, indulge in what you love, higher learning, more reading and more research, coming back with a head full of knowledge + new ideas, love all hate none, sometimes you need quick wit + a dash of creativity to solve problems, don't distant yourself from people you love, learn to detach but still see the situation objectively, heart full of love, crystals
Please follow & reblog for more readings! 💕
~ Skyborn
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insaneasgardian · 3 years ago
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Haircut Of Love - Sambucky
Summary: Confessions are made, and lives are changed the day Sam gives Bucky a haircut.
Genre: FLUFF
Warnings: Bucky being slightly sad while thinking of Steve, Bucky thinking that his feelings for Sam are unrequited (they're not), Idiots in love.
A/N: I have actually worked on this for longer than I should've XD A big thank you to @cassiecasyl and @aixabi for being such great friends and helping me out by proofreading, and making suggestions!
He knew he should've stopped Bucky tagging along, but the moment that infamous, "I'm coming with you!" so eagerly left the super soldier's lips, Sam knew it was pointless to persuade him to stay behind.
Not that he really minded, the mission he'd been assigned with was a tough one, and it would've been lonely if Bucky hadn't been so adamant about accompanying him.
Sam stared into the fireplace and focused on the embers as he let his thoughts wander. There were some terrible people to be stuck with in a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, but Bucky certainly wasn't one of them. He was an interesting character for sure, and Sam was sure he still didn't know a whole lot about him, but their relationship had developed all the way from 'a couple of guys' to 'almost best friends'.
"Hey", came the voice of the man Sam had so deeply been thinking of. He turned around with that signature smirk he reserved especially for Bucky, and watched with delight as the White Wolf turned a light pink color, and it wasn't because of the cold.
"I thought you might want to catch a shower, the water's nice and warm" the brunette said, and Sam nodded as he noticed his friend's damp hair from his own shower.
"Man, you need a haircut" Sam remarked, and much to his pleasure elicited a chuckle from Bucky.
"Do I?"
"It has gotten kind of longer..."
"Well, it's not easy to find a hairdresser in the forest"
"I could cut it for you"
The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop himself, and he didn't miss the way Bucky's widened ever so slightly. Sam internally scolded himself, feeling that he'd made things awkward somehow.
There was a slight pause in the atmosphere, but the ex Winter-Soldier eventually smiled. It was a weak smile, but genuine nonetheless.
"I'd like that," he told his friend, "would you mind?".
Sam shook his head, a bit too enthusiastically, and that made Bucky raise his eyebrows
“I can do it now if you want, so I don’t get your greasy ass hair all over me after I’ve gotten out of the shower”, Sam casually slipped in to look less ecstatic than he really was.
Bucky scoffed and crossed his arms at the statement, but his grin only grew wider.
“So… are you gonna give me something to cut your hair with?” his friend asked him, making a scissor snipping motion with his fingers.
The brunette’s lips tugged downwards into a frown and bit his lip as he often did when pondering. Sam couldn’t help but let his eyes wander to the bottom lip in between those pearly white teeth, but he forced himself to snap out of it.
After a brief moment, Bucky snapped the fingers on his vibranium arm and turned to walk towards the room he was staying in. “Wait there!”, he had instructed Sam, who had no intention of getting up from the comfortable position he was in anyway.
Promptly, Bucky had returned, clutching a pair of scissors that Sam immediately identified as a pair of Captain America themed kiddie scissors he had recently bought for his nephew, AJ. He burst out cackling.
“What’s so funny Samuel?” the White Wolf pouted, plopping next to his friend who was dying of laughter.
“You stole that from AJ didn’t you?” Sam pried, inwardly dancing at the thought that his secret crush would want something with his face on it.
“Psh, no… I permanently borrowed it, that’s all”, Bucky insisted, moving from the couch to sit on the floor in front of Sam’s legs so that the other man would be able to cut his hair with more ease.
“Mhm”, Sam hummed, already weaving a piece of Bucky’s hair between his fingers, and snipping it off, just like that. It seemed easy enough, so he kept on going, chopping bits of hair here and there, trimming the areas which really needed it, and taking care not to overdo the cut and end up making Bucky look bald in certain places. He was doing quite well considering that he was equipped with nothing but a pair of small, blunt kiddie scissors, which Sam was certain professional hairdressers did not use
A lovely period of pure silence fell in between the two men. The only sounds were the scissors delicately doing their job of cutting the brown locks, accompanied by the gentle crackle of the fireplace, creating a relaxing atmosphere.
“Steve used to cut my hair, you know… Used to do it all the time in the 40’s” Bucky said, breaking the silence. Sam froze in his movements, but only for a second. It was rare for this man, who had been through so much to talk about his past like this.
“We’d sit outside on the street in the summer, he’d be on a chair with his scissors and I’d sit down in front of him, punk gave a damn good haircut to be honest”, he continued, and Sam chuckled.
“People would give us dirty looks as they walked by, it wasn’t uncommon for people to think Steve and I were a couple, but it was frowned upon to be in a same-sex relationship back then… sometimes still is of course”, his tone was now sad, as if he wanted to admit something, but was refraining from doing so. Sam stopped what he was doing, and set down the scissors, obviously sensing the shift in the atmosphere.
“Still, Steve and I were just friends, that’s all he’d ever wanted to be anyway”, Bucky finally finished.
Sam got off the couch, and slipped down onto the floor next to the 107 year old. “And what about you? Did you ever want to be more than friends?”
Bucky ran a hand over his face, which donned a neutral expression, “It’s complicated Sam… I’d be into a girl one second and thinking about Steve the next”.
Sam gently nudged Bucky’s shoulder with his own, and gave him a small smile, “Bisexual then?”, he questioned.
The other man nodded, and looked at Sam with a grin now gracing his features, “Yea, but you know what? I forgot all about Steve…” he paused to dart his tongue out his mouth and wet his lips, “The day I met another guy I haven’t been able to stop thinking about”.
Sam’s world shattered the moment those words left Bucky’s lips. The thought that the man he had pined after for so long was yearning for another made him want to burst into tears right there. However, Sam Wilson was not the kind of man to be salty over the choices of others. So he kept on the smile he had been wearing the entire time his heart broke over and over again. Yet, he had been so absorbed in his own mind that he failed to notice the longing glances Bucky was shooting at him, the ones he had been giving Sam ever since he first met him.
“Happy you could get that sorted out for you man!” He said brightly, patting Bucky’s back and climbing back onto the couch to resume the haircut.
The ex winter soldier was dumbfounded. Had Sam not noticed how he felt? What if he had? What if he didn’t appreciate the advances?
There was stillness once more, but this time it was incredibly awkward. The two sat absorbed in the silence, no longer so focused on their own thoughts, but on every movement and action the other did.
“All done,” Sam finally said, and gestured towards the large wall mirror in the living room. Bucky looked into it, and nodded.
“You’ve done a nice job, thanks”, he mumbled.
“No problem” Sam told him, getting up from the couch. “I’m going to go take a shower now”, and with that, he rose and climbed the stairs to get to the bathroom. The footsteps faded away and when Bucky heard the bathroom lock click shut, he leaned his back against the couch with a sigh. He ran a tired hand over his face.
What had he done wrong? He’d watched all the movies, read all the books and listened to all the music Sam had suggested. He’d come to see Sam’s family as his own, he cherished Sarah, AJ and Cas with all his heart.
Hell, he’d even taken dating advice from Zemo…. Maybe that’s where he’d gone wrong.
Bucky wasn’t sure. He may have lost the charm he had back in the 40’s, but Sam had always accepted him for who he was. He never questioned Bucky’s past, or forced him to be more social and open. That’s the reason Bucky developed more than platonic feelings towards him. He was so easy to be around.
However, the white wolf figured that if Sam didn’t want anything to do with him romantically, the least he could do was to maintain the relationship status they had now. Not to mention, he had the perfect way to do that.
Mac and cheese. Sam’s favorite food.
A grin grew on his face as he scrambled to the kitchen. It was a tasty and easy thing to cook and would be done before Sam even got out of the shower. Bucky proceeded to locate all the necessary ingredients they had brought to the cabin, and got straight to work.
It wasn’t a difficult job at all. With his swift speed, and his mind set only on the task before him, he was done within minutes. He even managed to get two servings plated beautifully, and just in time too, because as he finished setting the table, Sam descended the stairs and made his way into the kitchen. A smile was drawn on his face at the smell of the meal, and all the previous tension seemed to have dissipated.
“Smells good in here!” he exclaimed, his eyes then landed on the beautifully presented plates of mac and cheese. He gasped and clapped his hands like an excited child, and Bucky couldn’t help but laugh. He thought it was adorable.
“Alright, alright, take a seat Sammy,” Bucky said, gesturing to the bar stools next to the kitchen island which the food rested on.
Both of them rushed to sit down and dig into their dinner. Bucky watched his friends expression as he took the first bite of his food.
Sam’s eyes closed in pure bliss, as his taste buds thanked him. “Buck, this is heaven in my mouth, tastes even better than what Sarah makes”.
Bucky blushed, but quickly tried to hide it with a chuckle, “Sarah’s my teacher, I owe it to her”.
Sam nodded at the statement, but commented no more on the topic. Instead, he took another bite and made eye contact with Bucky. “So… who’s this guy you’ve been crushing on?” he inquired.
Bucky was taken aback by the question, he blinked rapidly, “huh?” he mumbled, earning an eye roll from Sam.
“Listen man, I’ve never pressured you to tell me anything before, but we can’t pretend like that conversation didn’t happen” Sam said gently, setting his cutlery down, and reaching a hand over to place it on Bucky’s vibranium one.
The brunette gulped, closed his eyes, and took two deep breaths. He’d have to get it out. Or else it would slowly kill him to watch Sam find someone else. Even if his feelings were unrequited, the man had a right to know.
“It’s you” he said quietly before he could chicken out.
Sam slowly blinked, and shook his head, “Sorry, repeat that?”.
Bucky groaned and looked up from his plate which he’d been staring at the entire time. He gazed into Sam’s doe brown eyes with his own piercing blue ones, “It’s you! You’re the guy I’ve been crushing on!” he agitatedly replied.
Once more, there was that silence that seemed to be consuming the two of them so much lately. Bucky wanted to cry, to hide the humiliation. He was certain that Sam’s lack of words meant he didn’t feel the same, because Sam always had something to say.
“Forget it,” Bucky choked out, getting up from his seat, but Sam’s hand tightened its grip on his wrist, stopping him from getting away. The super soldier turned around slowly, trying not to make eye contact with Sam so that he wouldn’t see the tears in his eyes.
Then, all of a sudden, Sam rose from his seat and his lips met Bucky’s in what was a tender, loving kiss which shocked the latter, but he readily returned it. They stayed like that for a while, embracing each other as their arms snaked their way around each other's torsos. It was a moment neither of them wanted to break, but were forced to. Eventually, when they pulled apart gasping for air, they looked at each other in surprise, but merriment. Wide beams adorned both of their gorgeous faces, and their eyes glinted with excitement.
“So…” Bucky began, “you were desperate to get a piece of me, why, is it the new hair?” he said teasingly.
“The next time I give you a haircut, it’s gonna be turned into a mullet”, Sam threatened, making the other man raise his hands in surrender.
The mac and cheese was long forgotten as they clutched each other once again. Their hearts were bubbling and overflowing with love for one another, and it was not a love that was going to fizzle and die out. They fit perfectly in each other’s arms, like it’s where they belonged.
Two men, who had their own individual problems denying them a place to be truly content in the world, had finally found their refuge in each other.
Finit
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youarejesting · 3 years ago
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Wash Out.22
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[Master List]
Banners: @purpleskies1999 Pairings: Dolphintrainer!Taehyung x SharkDiver!Jin,  Mer!Jimin x Reader, Scientist!Namjoon x MerKing!Jungkook, Mer!Yoongi x Mer!Hoseok. Rating: 16+ Genre: Mystery, Romance, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, little bit of Action, Slice of life, Enemies2Lovers, Friends2lovers, Social media au, Fake Texts, Fake Subs.
Summary: Taehyung and his best friend Y/N are Dolphin trainers at Wash Out; Marine Wildlife and Theme Park. When the nerdy marine biologist and resident veterinarian Doctor Kim Namjoon goes missing; the two friends form a ragtag team with Taehyung’s rival Seokjin and a…. Fish?
[Prev] 
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There was no limit to which Taehyung could grieve. But there was a limit to his bank account. The new CEO Tom was a kind man, offering them a chance to mourn their losses and collect themselves before returning to work. There was a small funeral and memorial for Mr Schmidt within the theme park. 
Although the employee’s were respectful they remained impartial to the change of leadership. With new management came more appropriate wages. 
Waking beside Y/n reassured him things would be okay. You were the only reason he got out of bed and Taehyung suspected you felt the same. Uncanny how the two of you were sporting matching puffy eyes and pink tipped noses. Taehyung gave a soft smile, you had been supporting him while he broke down assuring him that Seokjin would return. 
It was time to show Y/n that she had someone to lean on. Knowing you had lost the first person you had developed such a strong bond with. There had been a few before Jimin and there may be more to come, but like magic the two of you had a special kind of love. The rare kind that happens only to few.
Taehyung wondered what you were thinking, if you were really okay, or just saying you were because that's what people wanted to hear. Dressing quietly he noticed you stir out the corner of his eyes. Begrudgingly pulling yourself out of bed and getting ready in the bathroom.
The playful banter on the way to work became silent pondering of thoughts. Hands reaching for one another if those thoughts turned dark. Taehyung was grateful for the company, grateful for the silence. He had no pressure to act like things were okay when they weren’t.
In saying that pulling into the employee parking lot Taehyung cut the engine. Pulling the visor down to look in the mirror, he tested a small smile. Almost foreign and unfamiliar to him, the muscles seemed to have weakened.
How many days had it been? Two and a half weeks later, as the days passed any hope of Seokjin or Namjoon’s return dwindled extensively. 
“Tae, we should go in,” Y/n smiled hand ready on the door handle braced for work like it was war. 
“Yeah, sorry.”
The security seemed awkward greeting them, rightfully so they had been accused of stealing money from the theme park. It wouldn’t surprise them if everyone kept their distance. Dolphins on the other hand seemed to understand their feelings better than humans. Bubbles, Captain, Dolly and her new pup Hopster came up to greet them, sensing their mood and trying to cheer them up with little jumps, squeals and splashes.
It pulled soft genuine smiles from you both, it was mid practice when a voice called from the bleachers behind the show tank. “You know Joonie, I have never seen a dolphin show, but it looks pretty lackluster, the dolphins are doing all the hard work. The instructors don’t really feel committed to the show.”
“I think they have been having a rough week, maybe they might have lost someone close to them.” Namjoon said softly. “You can never know what someone else is going through without asking.”
“Should I go ask them?” Seokjin said, standing and strolling over, the two looked clean and fresh like they had just come back from a vacation and not the bottom of the ocean.
Taehyung had broken down in the water, crying as the dolphins playfully bumped him with their noses trying to stop his tears. You pulled yourself out of the water and ran over, hugging Seokjin. His whines echoing around the small amphitheater.
After practically suffocating Seokjin in a firm hug you pulled Namjoon in as well, he was surprised by the action. Probably because the two of you were never really close but unlike Seokjin he didn’t complain about the wet patches left on his clothes.
Taehyung had practically crawled out of the dolphinarium show tank, the dolphins wiggling on their bellies beside him on the small raised surface. Seokjin walked towards him sorrowful and compassionate, opening his hands for the young dolphin trainer and groaning when he was pulled into the knee deep water. Letting Taehyung clutch him tightly, his complaints ceased when he felt the younger man shaking in his arms.
“It seems you must have been suffering with me gone.” He tried to coax Taehyung’s head from where it had buried into his neck, but it only encouraged him to grasp tighter and bury his face deeper into Seokjin’s chest. “Hey, you can’t be crying like this, you are going to make me sad.”
“I thought you had died,” Taehyung whimpered voice broken and small, his hands clutching the soft sweater fabric pulled tight over Seokjin’s shoulders. Taehyung looked up, eyes wet, puffy and red for yet another time this week. “I thought I lost you, before I had a chance to tell you properly.”
“Tae, I can barely understand what you are saying,” Seokjin wiped his sleeve under Taehyung's nose, “You have to speak clearly, don’t ruin my good pants for nothing.”
Taehyung pulled him forward kissing him passionately. Taehyung was thrilled to have Seokjin back in his arms. He was unable to stop himself from slowly walking backwards more and more until he reached the edge of the water. Seokjin was too distracted by the kiss to realise until it was too late.
Pulling the older man into the dolphinarium and giggling when they resurfaced. “Ya!” Seokjin shouted, “We were going to dinner after this, I was dressed up and everything.”
Taehyung was apologizing, his grin never faltering as he chased a soggy Seokjin back to the locker rooms. The three of you emerged from the change rooms spotting Namjoon standing awkwardly by the entrance.
“Are you ready to go?” Y/n asked, slapping his back playfully, “I hear Seokjin is paying for dinner tonight.” 
“What, you wanted me to come to dinner?” Namjoon said his words, stumbling unsure and confused.
“You don’t want to come to dinner, Namjoonie-Hyung?” Taehyung grinned up at him, before the two of you took Taehyung’s car following Jin’s from the parking lot to the restaurant. It was a small barbeque place, it was a secret treasure known to only a few.
The drinks started flowing. Namjoon seemed awkward at first but he was soon laughing with the rest. “I have never really done this before.” He admitted sheepishly.
“Drank?”
“No, I haven’t had dinner with friends before,” His ears were pink and your smile fell, Taehyung felt like the worst person to ever exist. “I know Jin and I tried but there were always things getting in the way.”
“Hey, we are your friends now, we were just rude idiots. We didn’t know about how cool you were until Seokjin told us how special you meant to him.” Y/n explained pouring him another drink.
“You weren’t rude, I just am really awkward and I know I talk about crabs a lot. It isn’t the most appealing conversation people want to have.” Namjoon waved his hands trying to calm the sad looks around the table, “I am just happy you think of me as your friend.”
Seokjin gasped, pulling a small cloth from his pocket, “Jimin asked me to give this to you.” He placed the cloth in your palm and you opened it slowly. “He got back safely and was definitely worried if you were okay,”
Opening the cloth to reveal a necklace, a cream shell spiraling in a cone shape and in the opening fitting perfectly secure was a gold Pearl. Taehyung leaned over, taking the necklace and helping you secure it around your neck.
~
You were called into work early one morning by Namjoon, he said something was wrong with Dolly and her pup and he needed help. Taehyung was outside and you sleepily let them drive you across town. You were being pushed into the old marine clinic, Taehyung threw you some swimmers and pushed you into the change room.
Moving quickly you followed Namjoon who was talking about the pups condition seriously, “This is our last chance, just go in first and check on how he looks and appearance and then we will begin the treatment, make sure you keep him calm and make him feel safe.”
You nodded, slipping slowly until you were treading water by the catwalk, about to ask a few questions when you were pulled under by the ankle. Confused and scared, you spotted Jimin in the water, his face showing how happy he was to see you. He swam at you grabbing your waist and resurfacing. You started crying and you wiped your eyes laughing and coughing from the water you had partially inhaled in shock.
“I am leaking,” Jimin touched his cheeks and you kissed him happily. 
“How did you get here?” You sniffed, “We have to get you back to the water.”
“Hey, it's all good I have something special with me this time, it allows me to walk on the ground just like you. Our king Jungkook gave it to me. He says I can visit whenever I want, because you are my promised.”
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[Prev] THIS IS THE END! YAY! I hope you enjoyed it.
Tags: @backinblack1967 @miriamxsworld @moccahobi​ @simplymemyself @a-gayish-unicorn @ella-mella @vjinfan23
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captainsimagines · 3 years ago
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To Topple A Giant || Chapter Nine
Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.
Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader
Part 9 of 10 ~ Mini-Series
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Warnings: This story contains mature themes and discussions such as extreme canon violence, strong language, emotional angst, mentions of Endgame deaths and recoveries, sexual situations, and emotional/physical abuse. This is purely fanfiction.
Warnings in this Chapter: strong language; use of a derogatory slur/racist language (not said by any main character); mentions of blood and injuries; angst!  
Word Count: 11,200+
A/N: One more chapter after this - I should really stop labeling this as a mini-series considering it’s already over 100,000 total words lmao. Thank you for staying with me this long! I love you guys soooo much!!!
~
Utah Merry Hotel, January 2025, 2:09pm
     “I’m being an ol’ sport, why can’t you?” You whine, stomping your feet as you trudged up the stairs to the hotel roof. “It’s our first serious stakeout in forever! I’m pretty sure Wanda shaved her legs for this.”
Steve shoots a flustered and unsettled look over his shoulder. He’s lugging the rifles and extra equipment on both his shoulders so you know he’s truly baffled because to even attempt a look over… well, that required real effort. He doesn’t answer, however; he continues upward. 
Bucky and Clint are following close behind. They’re tired, huffing every few steps and grunting while doing so. Finally, Bucky whines and throws himself against the wall dramatically. “Remind me why we couldn’t just get Wanda and Sam to lift us up there?”
Steve readjusts one of the rifle straps while he replies, “Buck, I told you not to skip leg day.”
“I skip ‘everything’ day. I’m just now employed as a superhero, thank you very much. The serum should be enough.”
“Are we even close?” Clint asks and passes Bucky on a few steps. Bucky takes that as a challenge though and hoists himself more steps before giving up again. 
You just watch in pure amusement. Makes you really proud that your thighs are stronger than theirs. “Just a few more flights.”
They both groan in unison. Steve has already rounded the next flight, no longer waiting on the three of you. It takes several more minutes until you kick open the roof door Steve had left slightly ajar. It’s cold outside, wind howling with icy droplets whipping through your hair. It’s only fifty stories up but it’s pretty high - you can see the tops of the trees, or branches really. It’s winter in Utah and most of the trees are naked and covered in snow. You hope Bucky and Clint, the dynamic duo no one saw coming, still have good aim in this wind after a year of vacation. 
“Alright. Buck - Clint, set up over there. Y/N, you’re over there.” 
“Aye Aye, Captain.”
You set up where Steve instructed. You’ve got a simple magnifier and some binoculars - you won’t have to do any shooting today, thank the Gods. Clint’s got his arrows and Bucky’s got his sniper. Steve’s waiting for a signal from Sam if need be - he won’t need to shoot today either. 
“Wanda and Sam will let us know when the cars pass the barrier. The tech cannot, under any circumstances, pass through the gate right over there.” Steve points to the giant, black coated metal gate. There’s no one on duty. You made sure to evacuate the area and any staff before. The tech these goons are bringing in is all stolen Stark Tech. And according to Happy, strict instructions are to ‘blow it to Hell’.  
“And if it does?” Bucky asks, grinning mischievously at Steve’s pointed look. 
“What’d I just say?”
Bucky laughs and puts his hands up in surrender. “Damn, Stevie. Calm thyne tits.” He goes back to fiddling with his rifle. “Blow the tires before they reach the gates but after they pass the barrier. Got it.”
“Peter, you in position?” Steve asks and adjusts his earpiece. 
You can hear Peter over your own mic. “Seatbelts look easy enough to break. I’m in position, I can easily pull them from the trucks.”
“Five minutes then.”
You all settle in. The cold has passed through the leather of your boots and your toes are paying the price. It makes you miss the rain of spring and the sprinkles of fall, when everything is drenched rather than frozen and your toes still have mobility. Your jacket is big enough but it scratches your neck every time you lean down to look through the magnifier. As the minutes tick by, you brave the cold and take it off. You’d rather conduct your part efficiently and without the constant distraction. 
“It’s almost forty degrees out,” Steve mumbles beside you. He’s looking over the roof balcony and into the trees. He’s squints and refuses your offer of binoculars. 
“So I get a sore throat.”
Steve rolls his eyes, “Tony put a heater in all our suits. You should have worn yours.”
“My suit is half nano. It’s excessive for a stakeout.”
He huffs but you ignore him, choosing to look through the rejected binoculars instead. He shuffles, and then there’s a warm weight enveloping your shoulders. It’s his sweater, cotton and baby blue, and he lifts the hood to cover your cheeks and ears. Your stomach flip-flops.
“Uh, thank you,” you say and zip it closed.
Steve shrugs lightly, “Don’t mention it.”
So you don’t. He doesn’t look cold besides or he’s just really good at masking it. It’s quiet now; you can’t really hear the quiet mutters of Clint and Bucky enough to join in and to not mention the jacket is eating at you. You opt for a casual conversation instead while you wait. 
“Soooo… how’d your date go last week?”
Steve clears his throat and turns to you, a forced grin on his face. “They, uh, they were sweet.”
“Sweet,” you repeat, nodding at nothing and cursing yourself for creating such an awkward moment. “Going on a second one?”
He sighs and his expression actually turns truthful. “No, don’t see that happening.”
For a second, you’re appalled. Who wouldn’t give Steve a second date? He’s an absolute catch and being a famous superhero wasn’t exactly a dealbreaker for many. Or maybe it was and Steve was blaming his alias once again for no fairytale ending. “Are you kidding? Who wouldn’t want you?”
The words leave your mouth too quickly to reel them back in. Steve’s cheeks turn pinker, both from your words and the chill, and he ducks his head low as he answers. “It’s my fault, really. They were sweet but I wasn’t paying much attention.”
“Mm, on your phone? Daydreaming? Were they a bore?”
Steve chuckles, “I pulled out my phone, like, once to answer a text but I was a proper gentleman!”
The tension is slowly melting and there’s a soft twinkle in his eye as he laughs. It’s been so long since he’s looked at you this way: on his own accord and not on order. “Bucky said they were, and I quote,” you lower your voice and look over at Bucky to make sure he’s distracted. “‘Cute as hell’.”
Steve gives Bucky a warm look. “Eh, it’s fine. Wasn’t the one.”
“The one,” you mock in a deep voice. “Who texted you that it was so important to ignore someone cute as hell?”
Steve hesitates and looks over the balcony as if wishing for an interruption. But the trucks aren’t near yet and Sam hasn’t given the signal. “Uh, it was Peter.”
“Oh, don’t tell him that. He’ll feel incredibly guilty if he ruined your chances at getting laid.”
Steve shoves your shoulder a bit harder than he intended and it makes you stumble back. He quickly catches you by the arm and holds you still, a sheepish smile painting his pink face. He mumbles a quick ‘sorry’, and goes back to lean over the railing. “It’s cool, he knew.”
You fake a surprised gasp, “Even worse!”
“He needed me to stop by the compound and I did. Really, it’s okay,” Steve assures and he’s speaking a little quicker. He fidgets with his thumbs and it looks like he wants to wrap up that portion of the conversation. But he looks over at you and sighs deeply, and he rolls his eyes as his upper lip tilts upward. “Ask.”
“What’d he want?” It makes your belly all warm to know he expects this enthusiasm from you.
“Wanted me around. Buck and Wanda were out getting dinner.”
“Yeah, but like, what for?”
He gives you a knowing smile, like you walked right into that trap. “You made dinner but Peter was too nice to say he didn’t enjoy it, so he texted me knowing I would like it. Knowing I had it before. He didn’t want there to be leftovers because then you’d be sad.”
You step back and shake your head like there’s a fly swarming around. It startles you. “You left your date… during dinner… to come to the compound to eat the dinner I made instead?”
“Don’t think too much about it.”
“How not?”
It’s five minutes when Sam calls it in. You groan in frustration and give Steve a look that says the conversation isn’t over. 
There are four armored vehicles and the magnifier illuminates three bodies per car. The targets will be hit starting from the last to keep the explosions out of each driver’s line of sight. 
“Target acquired,” Bucky mumbles and clicks off his safety. He closes one eye and settles comfortably as he awaits Steve’s signal.         
Clint tugs back an arrow, “Same here, Cap.”
“Wanda, you ready?” Steve’s voice is lower when he’s focused. He looks over at you, your hand up with an index finger raised, and waits. Wanda answers that she’s ready and Sam counts it down. The first truck crosses the barrier, then the next, next, and finally the fourth and you drop your hand in a fast swipe. 
“Fire! Go Parker!”
Bucky shoots the back tires of all four vehicles and Clint shoots his arrows to penetrate through the passenger doors. Peter works fast, webs slinging from side to side grabbing one passenger right after the other. Once the trucks are empty, Clint activates the arrows and you all prepare for the explosions. The fourth car catches flame first and Wanda contains the explosion perfectly, balling it up into a weak bundle of light and string. She does the same to the third and second, bundles extinguishing just as quickly as they burst. But the first car swings out of control on manual and the explosion is delayed.
“Clint?”
Clint leans over the balcony and squints, as if it would help. “I don’t know. It’s not going off.” He’s clicking the detonator repeatedly, holding it up for all of you to see. 
“Wanda, the truck! The truck! Sam!” You scream as the truck crashes through the gate and hurls closer to the hotel. The commotion is enough for Bucky to pop out from his cover and the four of you watch in horror as the truck still doesn’t stop. Clint has stopped clicking the button, but it’s no use. The truck finally explodes in an outbreak of debris and electricity. The Stark Tech reacts poorly to the strain, electric gusts of smoke fire left and right and rattle the building. It feels like an earthquake, shaking the already weak foundations and old brick. Wanda catches the bottom to better contain it and tries desperately to smother it. But the shaking doesn’t stop and the corners of the roof are collapsing. 
Steve leaps to grab and pull you away and just as quickly to catch Clint’s leg before he falls over the edge. Clint is thrown back rather harshly but Steve isn’t thinking about the abuse of strength right now - no, not while Bucky slips and hangs on to a rogue pipe. Steve crawls and latches onto his hand before the pipe gives way. He yells as he tugs Bucky up with only one arm, the other having to hold onto undisturbed brick. He won't let Bucky fall. Not again.
Bucky throws his leg up and over solid ground, and you go to help Steve pull him up. Bucky’s heavy and his metal hand pinches your skin bad but he’s safe. Wanda struggles to contain the electricity but she’s succeeding. The rumbling slows until nothing moves anymore. You collapse back in exhaustion.
“Well, that didn’t go as planned,” Bucky gasps as he rubs his face. 
“Is Wanda okay?” You mumble more to yourself and struggle to pull yourself back up. But the sudden weight of your body proves too much for the edge and in a horrible wave, you’re falling through. You practically file your nails as you try to latch onto falling brick.
“No!” You feel the scratch of someone’s fingers along your forearm and soon they’re digging into your skin, and it hurts but you figure it’s better than splitting your skull open. Pebbles of concrete are falling down onto your face and the smoke from the explosion is clogging your nostrils. You hang for a few seconds, like the person can’t believe they actually caught you. Then they begin pulling you up, lifting you to safety, and you claw the rest of the way only to tumble into Steve’s chest, shaking. 
He pulls you into his arms but they’re restless, roaming over your shoulders and through your knotted hair clumsily. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” His voice wavers and he’s on the verge of tears, it seems. His waterline is glossy and his lips are quivering. “Answer me.”
“I’m fine, hey. Steve? I’m good.”
He pulls away and his hands hover you like he doesn’t know what else to do with them. “I’m sorry. I should have kept you close. I-” His voice cracks and he swallows hard. “You sure you’re okay?”
Disregarding his words is difficult, especially when you feel a second meaning to them, but you force yourself to do so. It’s been such a long time since you’ve seen him like this. And each time you have, it was never because of anything good. “Y-yeah. I’m good, Rogers.”
Bucky and Clint look at each other, they look at Steve, to you, and back to each other. Finally, Clint breaks the silence and huffs a light chuckle. “Are we really THAT rusty?”
Present Day, 2025, 11:45pm
    The Montana skies are clear and free of passenger planes, allowing the Quinjet to swift easily on autopilot. You could never drive this thing and the building anxiety of that reality bubbles each time it makes an unsteady bounce. 
Steve’s laying in the makeshift medical wing and though it’s against protocol, he’s on a secure line with Dr. Cho. She takes her time, albeit working as fast as possible too, and her light voice is fairly calm. It settles you to hear her speak this way. 
‘I need you to use this disinfectant, Captain Rogers. Do not pour it on all at once… Good, now dig through gently and make sure the pliers are sanitized.’
Steve digs out the bullets himself and bites down on a clean towel. He’s biting down hard enough that his teeth make a squeaking sound against it. It takes every ounce of your willpower to not do it for him. The Montana skies are beautiful, at least. It’s a good distraction. 
Steve gives a rather painful yell as he finally plucks the second bullet, cursing as a stream of blood drips onto the table. He’s got such tough skin - miracle or serum - that the bullets didn’t pass all the way through. Dr. Cho moves on to how to properly bandage the wound but Steve begins to tune her out. 
Two years mucking through mud and bodies and getting patched up every other day has prepared him for whatever life may throw during this new century. Not much has changed, it seems. 
When the line disconnects, Steve can finally just relax. He focuses on the soft rumble of the engine and your steady breaths. 
     You hold your breath as you settle the Quinjet on the open field, only half of you actually trusting automatic tech. Steve coaches you the whole time too, the little shit, and promises you’ll never be doing that again. 
Steve stumbles and teeters and falls on the porch steps with a low groan. You let him fall because you know you’d only fall with him. He catches himself with the hand he’s been pressing over the bandage while the other still holds on to you. You fight the urge to crash down with him and bite your lip as you look up to the night sky. 
“C’mon, Rogers,” you swallow down the increasing worry, “We’re almost inside.”
Steve huffs a pained laugh and nods. He grabs your arm again and with his remaining strength, pulls himself up,
The inside of the cabin looks comfier than the outside. You help Steve to the couch closest to the unlit fireplace before going out back to turn on the power. There’s a thin layer of ice in the grass so just in case, you scope out the garage and make sure there are snow supplies. Not that you really know what the hell snow supplies actually look like, but there’s a shovel and you figure that’s as much as your brain is going to piece together. 
When you get back inside, Steve’s fumbling with the coffee maker and leaving tiny fingerprints of blood over every surface he touches. You don’t comment on them, just step back and discreetly wipe the counters each time he passes. 
“Figured you’d like a pot,” Steve says. 
It damn near breaks your heart how small his voice sounds. The fact he’s stumbling around the cabin making sure you’ve got your coffee fix while he’s nursing two bullet wounds damn near snaps it in two.
“Thank you,” you respond and go to lead him back to the couch. He moans quietly when he sits and again as you lay him down. “I hope you don’t think I’m sleeping here,” Steve laughs and tries to hide his wince due the uncomfortable rumble. 
You smile and touch your hand to his hot cheek. His body is working overtime fighting off infection and regenerating tissue. His cheeks are a lovely scarlet red and so is the beautiful bulb of his crooked nose. He’s a little shiny, like varnish over light paint strokes, and taking the fever like a champ. “I’ll help you to the bed in a little bit. Let’s get that fever down first.”
Steve sighs, defeated, but nods. He lays his head back on the pillow and once he shuts his eyes, you get to work. The bathroom is stocked with the simple necessities: aloe vera, vapor rub, heating and cold pads, dozens of towels, and painkillers. You pop two painkillers yourself before gathering everything and dropping it on a nearby table in the kitchen. The coffee is about done brewing so you fill up a mug with bottled water and set it in the microwave for two minutes. You dip a chamomile tea bag a few times once the water is heated. There’s no teapot - you’ll apologize to Steve later. 
Once Steve’s happily sipping his tea, you start on the medicine. You wet the small towels and lay them over his forehead and bare chest. You rub aloe vera on the other cuts he obtained from hand-to-hand and finally rub the vapor rub in the dip of his neck and just below his nose. Steve gives you this funny smile as you do so, scrunching his nose and wiggling it back and forth. 
“Vicks,” you say as you show him the small container. “Heal you right up.”
“I bet,” he laughs. “Stuff smells like what I think liquid morphine would taste.” A laugh bursts from your chest, your first real instance of calm during these last few hours. You ignore his protests and smother more across his chest. 
Steve settles deeper into the couch and returns to his tea. He’s got less sweat on his skin now but he’s still red. You go to pour yourself that coffee and return to his side. The nanotech is growing stiffer and scratching your skin but you refuse to get comfortable until Steve’s fever breaks. You’re still covered in Ernesto’s blood, the red now a hellish brown, and you try not to move your face much for risk of feeling the dry pull of it. 
“Steve,” you try, but Steve shakes his head and makes sure to meet your gaze before he speaks. 
“No. The less I know the better.”
It surprises you, makes you feel more guilty, but you understand. Not telling him the full truth would be beneficial in the long run. Still, your hands hug the mug closer to your chest. “Do you think I did something bad?”
His upper lip tugs upward, “Do you think you did something bad?”
You don’t think for long. There’s not much need to. “No.”
He nods, “But you care what I think?”
“Of course I do. You’re not just my Captain anymore - you’re my friend. I care even when I’m asking you if my eggs need more salt.”
“You trust me enough to correct your cooking?” He teases, but it’s a question disguised as another. 
“I trust you enough to tell me if I need more salt. You’re not correcting it.” He laughs and dips deeper into the couch. The bandage is bleeding through, only slightly, so you move to find the first-aid kit. 
“Hey, it’s okay. It’ll stop bleeding soon.”
You hum your disagreement. “I’m gonna keep it clean until you’re strong enough to shower.”
“You can always help me shower,” he mumbles into his tea. 
Rolling your eyes, you gently nudge his shoulder as you sit back down with the kit. “If you fall, I can’t catch you, you big lug. We’d have to tell everyone we screwed in there because you falling on top of me, injured, is somehow more embarrassing.”
He allows you to remove the soiled bandage and dab around the healing wounds. He’s bruising around the sides, multiple shades of green and yellow already, and the holes are stitched rather poorly. It makes you feel a little better about your own criss-cross work - even Steve sucks at it. 
“I’m sorry I had to go and get myself shot,” Steve apologizes and sucks in a deep breath when the towel drags a little too roughly. 
“Yeah, what the hell happened there?”
He almost mimics you in the way he shrugs his shoulders and lifts his arms in that ‘well, fuck if I know’ position, pursing his lips and expelling a chuckle. “Had my gun trained on Ernesto. Ernesto had his own on Ramirez. Then Seda came in and Ernesto ordered Ramirez to hand his over to Seda. Played right into Seda’s hands.”
You process the explanation slowly and dab his wound a few more times before unwrapping the clean bandage. “And the damn shield?”
Steve’s embarrassed by that small detail, he’ll admit it, because he truly was blindsided by Seda’s appearance. You were supposed to be holding him down after all. “In my defense! When it’s shrunk down and in your pocket rather than latched onto one’s arm, it’s easily forgettable.”
You clean around the wound softly before placing and taping the new bandage. The conversation settles and you’re both quiet for a long, long minute. He thanks you for cleaning him up by rubbing sweet circles into the knuckles of your right hand. Finally, you can’t take it anymore. It’s like a wave of irrefutable worry and rage, all bunched together with each emotion trying to outweigh the other. That goddamn riptide, sucking you in and keeping your head below water just for the hell of it. Breathing in harshly, you fail to keep yourself from stuttering over your words. “I’m sorry.”
Steve bites back a groan of pain as he leans over to take your cheeks in his palms. The brush of his fingertips lets you know that you’ve already started crying. You don’t much care about the facade anymore. “Doll, listen to me. Listen.”
“I never meant to leave you alone.”
“You never did.”
You bark out a wet laugh, sarcastic. “I should have run faster. I should have killed him all those years ago. I should have never brought you into this.”
“You did what you had to do,” he says, fiercely. He forgets his own strength for a second, only slightly diminished from the healing process, and loosens his tight grip against your cheeks. “You did what you had to do to survive.”
“I wanted to hate you,” you admit. Your bottom lip is trembling and your hands clench together over your thighs. “I wanted to hate you so much. If I did, then you getting hurt or killed on this mission wouldn’t hurt so bad. I hated you for what you did. Because it made me realize that I could never hate you at all.”
“Hey,” he tries, hands now lowering to clutch at your own. “Stop apologizing for having a heart. Stop thinking you’re not worthy of even having one.”
Your face crumbles and Steve realizes for the first time in a long time just how much you’ve been holding in. “Why didn’t you use the stones?”
Steve’s heart clenches at the sound of the crack in your voice. He hasn’t heard that crack since Clint fell to his knees without Natasha by his side. He holds onto you tighter and prepares himself for an admission he never thought he would ever have to give. “Because Peggy told me not to.”
Something confusing happens in the middle of your chest. It clenches with anger but understanding. The answer to your question was always this simple but it looks like it’s tearing Steve apart from the inside-out.
    She’s as beautiful as the day he went into the ice. All he has to do is whisper her name so sweetly, delicately, and she turns her head like she’s answering the prayer. First her knees buckle, eyes watering and blotching her vision, and she collapses on the soft grass of her backyard. Steve’s holding her the very next second, repeating that he’s real, he’s here. 
“Steve,” Peggy gasps, hands shaking as she brings them to his wet cheeks. She grips and pokes and does everything so comically that Steve laughs a wet laugh when she starts smacking him. “What is going on?”
And he tells her. Everything he can remember: the good, the bad, the wretched. He spills everything, and he spills the most delicate information of their time: he’s alive, just frozen; Bucky’s alive, just hurt; the world is saved, just broken. Whether she believes it or not Steve’s not sure, but he’s so goddamn happy to see her again that he chokes every other word. 
“And you? You’re happy?”
His eyebrows come together and he looks at Peggy like she’s speaking another language. She’s got the same red lipstick, same curl in her hair even if it’s longer now, and she’s filling out her dresses more. “Pegs, don’t ask me that.”
She detaches herself slowly from his arms, pausing their dance as she speaks. “Why not? You can’t expect me to accept that you stopped by to see me all willy-nilly after saving the universe.” Her lips twitch into a knowing smile and Steve melts. Her voice is sending him into a spiral, a world he never thought he would see again, and he realizes just how much he loves accents on women  - especially this woman. 
“I just,” he chokes out, and brushes his index finger down her cheek. “I had to see you again.”
“I get that,” Peggy says and pays no mind that the record player has stopped; she still sways gently with Steve. “But you’ve just mentioned a whole other world you’ve been a part of. You’ve got your best guy back, that Wilson fellow sounds like the life of the party, and this Agent Y/N certainly sounds like she’s been by your side through it all.”
Steve stutters in his step and holds her closer. Her stomach presses against his, and he stops abruptly. He looks down between them and runs his hand from her shoulder, down, to lay across her growing belly. “Pegs.”
She gives him the same wide and proud smile she gave him when he returned with the 107th. She lays her hand over his. “I know.” She laughs and tilts her head lovingly. “I’m happy, too.”
Steve bites his lip to keep from sobbing. He was so stupid for coming to this timeline, for ruining Peggy’s chance at happiness, for interrupting the life he already knew she created for herself. He inputted the wrong year, he suddenly realizes, and steps back arms-length from her. “I’m sorry, I was stupid to come here. I just wanted to see you and then I did, and I… I still love you, Pegs.”
“Oh,” Peggy gasps, bottom lip trembling. “Darling, do not mistake yourself, even for a second, into thinking that I do not love you too.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing for having a heart.”
He wants to argue, say he’s stupid a million more times, but he finds himself listening to her gentle words. It’s Peggy, Steve thinks. She’s always been right.
“In this world you live in, you have James?” He nods. She continues, “In this world you live in, you just lost two of your most loved friends?” He nods again. He wipes his face from forehead to chin. “In this world you live in, you have met a woman who has the same stubbornness as you; has the same self-sacrificing streak, who has your heart in such shambles that you dare call her one of your best friends?”
Steve thinks of you and how broken your smile was as you waved him goodbye, hand clenching Sam’s as Steve gathered the stones and Mjolnir. He thinks of the times you’d leap onto his back and demand a ride; the times he’s saved your ass in a firefight; how his sleep has definitely improved ever since he started calming you from nightmares - he hasn’t slept so well since before the war. He nods again.
Her eyes go soft. “Steve,” she starts and Steve knows. He doesn’t want to know. “Don’t abandon the world you’ve built for yourself. Surround yourself with the people you love. Do this for me.”
“There’s so much hate and blood waiting for me when I get back, Pegs. I don’t want to-”
“There is a difference between you not wanting to and you having to.” He drops his head and focuses on the floor. Peggy isn’t done grilling him, however, and he looks back up to grant her the respect. “You must not abandon the world you helped create. I’m not saying this to be mean. I’m saying this because I know you don’t want to.”
“Pegs.”
“I see right through you, Steve. We marched together through mud and blood before. We’ve got two years of fighting side by side under our belts. I’ve seen you at your worst, and you I. I know that face anywhere.”
“I missed you, Pegs,” Steve breathes. She cups his face with her hands and draws their foreheads together.
“The stars weren’t written in our favor. But to know that you’re alive, and that you make it, and that you actually get to live,” she bites back a sob. “I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
“It isn’t my world to begin with.”
“No, you’re a man out of time. But so is James. You won’t abandon him now, will you?”
He chuckles low and their noses touch. “Stop making me feel guilty for wanting to find you, Peggy.”
She presses a soft kiss to the side of his mouth and finally breaks away. “And you won’t abandon that sweet girl who has put up with your nonsense for the last five years, you say?”
Steve shakes his head and meets Peggy’s gaze. “I’m just tired.”
“They are too, I bet.” He turns to the door and to Peggy, and she figures it’s almost time for him to leave. “You have been the archer and the brave, Steve. I’m absolutely certain you’ve been more. You will be more.”
Steve says his final goodbyes and stops to remember the fine details of Peggy’s face. The fifties are treating her well. Steve expected nothing less. Bright lights flash around him and he’s back to the world he wanted to leave, to hide from, and he sees you - and your mouth parts in shock.
     “And you listened to her?” you ask. 
Steve smiles, although it’s hard for him to remember that conversation. “I came back. I didn’t listen to her when she said to surround myself with people who love me, and who I love in return.”
“No, you made damn sure of that.”
“Hey,” Steve chuckles. “Don’t take smacks at me when you’re down.”
You can’t help but laugh. “Sorry, it’s just too easy sometimes.” Laughing about the two years of missed chances and spoiled friendship was not on your bingo card for this week. 
“I don’t know how this is going to play out,” you admit. Steve looks so young with a somber expression: his eyebrow creases gently without wrinkling the rest of his forehead, the side of his mouth tilts downward, and his eyelashes kiss the pink of cheeks. “I decided in the moment. So I’m fuck all out of ideas on how to proceed.”
He nods in understanding. “Guess we just have to look over our shoulders three times instead of two now.”
“Simple like that?” You scrub a hand over your face and curse inwardly when you smudge your lipstick down to your chin. You ignore it. “I know we’re Avengers, but.”
“No buts,” Steve says and moves to sit up. You help him by pushing his shoulders and he accepts your help as you struggle to the bathroom. “You helped the guy and his daughter. I’m sure he’s going to be watching our backs from now on.”
You help Steve strip from his dress pants and shoes and finally remove your suit as well. The graze on your arm is covered in brown, dried blood but the wound isn’t deep. It’ll sting like a sunburn, you know that, but it’s better than being shot through. You watch Steve enter the shower and leave the curtain drawn. His bandage is soaked again but thankfully it’s from the water and not more blood. You grab a spare towel and soak it with water and soap, and rub it across your lips and chin. 
“Let me do that,” Steve calls. You strip bare and bring the towel with you into the shower. Steve takes it and scrubs over your face, gently but more rough as he gets to your eyes. It’s an innocent moment of ‘ouch, scrub softer!’ and ‘surprised I didn’t take all your lashes off’. He helps clean your wound as well and once you’re both clean, he bandages you up and you him. 
The master bedroom is the only room without electricity so you gather some candles. It’s like the two of you won’t admit you’re currently afraid of the dark or what may lie in it. They illuminate the room in a delicate orange and it’s such a peaceful color to briefly see before falling asleep, head tucked into Steve’s chest and his heartbeat thrumming gently with your breath. 
     It’s a wonder what a night’s sleep can do. Steve’s wounds are sealed and his fever is gone, but there’s a signature left behind. A pink and white patch of skin as tender as a newborn’s, a memory. Steve pours your coffee and his tea while you trace your fingers over it.
Two hours after eating a small breakfast and securing the perimeter, a soft ding startles you from the random book you’re reading. Steve’s phone shines with a message from Sam. It simply reads: ‘Clear’. Grabbing the phone and walking out onto the porch, you find Steve sitting on one of the steps he tripped over just yesterday. He’s sketching the sky and the trees, taking his time on the lines of the branches, the strokes of the leaves, and the frost over them. He looks up, studies his surroundings, and looks back down to add a detail he previously missed. He sniffs, rubs his nose, and finally notices you leaning against the doorframe. 
“Hey,” he says, soft. “Any news?”
You hold up his phone and nod. “Sam says we’re clear to fly in.”
Steve looks back to his drawing. You hesitate before speaking, knowing damn well an all clear means get your ass back as soon as possible. “Finish your drawing. I’ll pack whatever we need to.” Steve’s mouth parts but he shuts it just as quickly. Slowly, he nods. 
     There isn’t much to pack since you brought nothing but the clothes on your backs. Everything at the hotel was collected before the wedding and should have flown back with Scott and the others. It feels awkward stealing bottled water and processed foods to hoard on the quinjet, but it’s a necessity. Steve meets you at the quinjet doors, shows you his drawing, and volunteers to take the wheel. 
“You’re not volunteering. You’re ordering.”
Steve rolls his eyes, “No license, no drive.”
“What are you? A cop?”
“Don’t think for one second I won’t actually hand the wheels over and happily crash while screaming ‘I told you so’.” 
Steve steers for the duration of your flight. The next few hours are spent just enjoying each other’s company, speaking of all things and simply catching up. It’s amazing how much you two missed from one another’s lives those two years.
      The landing base is clear and it’s Sam who’s waiting for you as the Quinjet manually lands itself. He shoots you a gap-toothed smile and extends his arms, pulling the two of you in at the same time for a strong hug. He’s talking a mile a minute about how successful the mission was, how Fury is over the moon that it’s finally over, how the DEA is thinking of congratulating everyone one by one. It’s enough to distract Steve, who’s just happy to see his best friend again, but it isn’t enough for you. The large metal doors sealing the storage facility from the rest of the compound are thrown open. Bucky stumbles through and practically sprints over to the three of you. 
“Get back on the jet,” he orders, already pulling you by the arm. You all look at one another like he’s gone mad but that’s impossible. Bucky’s paranoia isn’t something to take lightly; he’s right nine out of ten times. 
“Buck, what-?”
“Rhodes couldn’t hold them. They have warrants, Steve.”
Steve hauls Sam onto the jet as well. “Warrants for who?”
“Get down from the jet without a fight and this will all go smoothly.”
There are about twenty uniformed officers surrounding the jet. They spread out in case anyone decides to run but it seems pointless to even try. Secretary Ross points his gun directly at you, proud and tall and looking just the same as you remember him. Last time you saw him was at Tony’s funeral. 
“What do you think you’re doing?” you bite, and raise your hands in cooperation. Ross shakes his head and his expression contorts into one of disgust. There are red beams coming from each gun but your friends are clean - the beams are only pointed at you.
“Agent Y/N Y/LN, you’re under arrest for multiple charges of drug smuggling, trafficking of illegal goods, the murder of Ernesto Vega and Daniel Seda, aiding and abetting drug-lord Omar Ramirez, and for conspiracy against the United States of America. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a federal court of law...”
You drone out half way through. Ross finishes up the speech but no one is listening. Sam is already yelling over your Miranda Rights and Bucky’s frozen in place. Steve’s fighting his way through to Ross, pushing through the muscle until he’s face to face with him. But Ross isn’t fazed. There’s nothing left to do but exit the jet. 
Immediately there are handcuffs slapped to your wrists. Two men drag you over to the containment car that’s enforced with so much indestructible material it’s almost insulting. You weren’t enhanced - they were doing this for fun.
“You’ve got it all wrong! Y/N! Y/N!”
You don’t fight. Conspiracy… you’re surprised they didn’t just shoot you dead. Steve’s still yelling, begging to be heard, but you try to block him out. It’s not your first time being arrested but it is your first time being charged with something you didn’t do. As funny as that sounds, it’s terrifying. 
“Steve,” you say, and Steve breaks through some more hired muscle so he’s within earshot. “It’s okay.”
His face pulls up in pain, “No, you didn’t do this! They’re not listening!”
One of the officers pushes your head down roughly and tries to shove you in the backseat. You’re still looking at Steve. And those eyes, wounded and vulnerable, haunt him even after the door shuts and the car drives away.
     There’s a privilege attached to the mantle of Captain America. Perhaps he was too blind to see it during the war or just too proud he was finally being heard and respected, but now he sees it for what it really is. It’s a mantle this country has never truly associated with the person but with the purpose. Steve was manufactured to help protect this country under government orders and when he defied that purpose, he disgraced the mantle. Seems like some people idolize the role a little too much. 
But he’s still Captain America. This reality has continued to clear his name from stunts he pulls and laws he breaks. And once Steve is able to walk away without so much as a scratch, he leaves bodies behind.
Sharon. Sam. Bucky. Wanda. And now you. All people who fought his fight and weren’t granted the quick privilege of that perceived pureness and holiness. He was always ready for combat, he was built for it, but he didn’t really want it. 
Did he?
Ripping that star off his chest was one thing. Accepting his new shield cemented his continual legacy as the Star-Spangled Man. He deserved to be in that cell with you. But if he learned anything about how the world works, it’s that cruelty doesn’t just win in the movies. All of his enemies started out friends and if he had to bet, he’d bet the reason they’re labeled as such is partially because of him. 
So he sits and listens to everyone’s ideas and plans, vetoing and dismissing one right after the other, his mind doing jumping jacks. He’s both there and not, drowning in the fact that he made it home and you didn’t. He doesn’t know how to sleep without the sound of your snoring anymore. 
He sits and listens. 
    The cell isn’t one you would expect for someone who has been charged for betraying her country. It’s modestly furnished: a black cot in the far right corner with a mini table beside it, a desk with some paper, and a door that leads to the private bathroom. All in all, the room’s size is that of a child’s bedroom; there’s no actual pens and pencils for risk of violent behavior and there’s a bulb camera that moves when you move. 
You’ve been trapped in worse. 
Countless detectives and investigators have visited already. They all ask the same questions: Why did you do it? Did Captain Rogers know? Who are you, really? 
You give the same answers: I didn’t do it. Of course, every single person knows. Who do you think I am?
Every time they leave more discouraged than the one before them, refusing to compare notes with one another in case they were in possession of gold. They all ignore you when you try to ask for Steve and his wellbeing. Their faces contort, they whisper to their partners, and they shake their heads in disappointment. One even goes as far as to threaten you, warning you to keep Captain Roger’s name out of your wetback mouth or else, until he’s escorted from the cell. Not that it really matters - the manipulated ideals of these people will always blur their search for the truth. And when the truth fails to satisfy such greedy manipulations, they choose to create their own.
There is one agent who peaks your interest. He offers you gum when he settles in the chair near the door. His name badge reads ‘Kavert’; it glares in the bright lights overhead and he makes no other attempt at small talk once he gets comfortable and opens his little notepad. 
That goddamn notepad, you think. Every single person before has prided themselves over it, scribbling little notes about your tone of voice, body movement, and vague answers. You never give much, Natasha had taught you better, so they always end up writing less than two bullet points before giving up. 
But Agent Kavert surprises you by opening up to a blank page, spitting his chewed gum in the middle, and then he shuts it closed. He offers you a real smile, one that doesn’t look practiced or forced. It lets you study him without being so guarded or uncomfortable. He seems young, not really a rookie but it’s obvious he’s spent more time behind a desk than out in the field. His dark hair is short, sprinkled grays near his temples, and his attire screams upper level. His build is lean, his gun is in the holster on his right hip, and a part of you knows he’d put up a hell of a fight if you tried to escape. 
“I was gonna comment on what lovely weather we’re having, but I don’t think you get out much.” 
You’re startled into a real laugh. Satisfaction washes over his face. 
“I think you’re wasting your time, Agent Kavert.”
He grins and moves to proudly pull at his jacket and present his badge. He sets the notebook to the side and leans forward to cup his hands together on his knees. 
You squint at him. There’s nothing interesting about you right now: back against the wall as you sit criss-crossed on the cot, sweatpants and an oversized t-shirt, hair brushed but a little greasy. Your last shower was two days ago and you figure they’ll let you have one tonight. 
“Yeah, you’re right. There’s no point in hoping you’ll tell me anything you haven’t shared yet.”
“Nope.”
He hums low in his throat and tilts his head to the left. Now, he squints at you. “I just don’t get it. How did you do it? Not show up on our radar, I mean?”
It doesn’t seem like he’s calling you guilty or innocent. Already he’s one-hundred percent different from the other agents. “I wasn’t exactly hiding.”
He sits up to lean back in the chair, “Different last name, government and Avenger protection, covering your tracks so carefully even the DEA missed you.”
“You’ve done your homework.”
“Yes, but,” he starts. He acts like he’s having a normal conversation on his front porch. “It still doesn’t make sense. How could Nick Fury miss this? Tony Stark? After the whole Obadiah situation, I expected him to-”
“It’s simple, really. Do you want to know or do you want to keep making assumptions?”
He’s watched the other agents leave by this point. Some couldn’t even make you talk. So he shuts up and waves his hand for you to continue. 
“Cool,” you breathe out. “First of all, I’m literally only telling you this because I’ve already been refused a lawyer or some crap like that and I highly doubt this is going to actual court. The publicity would be horrible.” 
He bites his lip but you catch the little smile forming. You continue, “And I have nothing to hide. I’m sure my Captain, my teammates, and Fury himself have given their sides. Am I right?”
Agent Kavert adjusts himself in the seat and nods in response. He doesn’t dare interrupt you now. 
“Good, then I’ll keep it sweet. They knew who I was. I was recruited to be an inside source, a double agent, and this wedding was the perfect chance to corner those men,” you declare, turning your hands palm up and shrugging your shoulders. “There, happy?”
“Double agent.” Agent Kavert chews over the words, rolling them around on his tongue a few more times. He’s squinting harder and you can see his brain working. The next sound to leave his lips is a heavy sigh and a feeling of immense irritation washes over you. It wasn’t enough.  “Are we going to be truthful yet, Agent?”
Chuckling lightly, you rest the back of your skull on the wall. It was wrong to assume he’d be any different from the others. “Of course you don’t believe me. You want more, they all do. I don’t suppose I have anything better to do.”
He claps his hands on his thighs and leans forward again, loud and restless. “Then let’s get started, really: Did you or did you not let Omar Ramirez, Mexican drug-lord involved with Ernesto Vega, your father... imagine that, run away from a crime scene, evade arrest, and possibly leave the country?”
“You expect me to follow all those questions?”
“It’s not the time to be funny.”
“You were enjoying it just a second ago,” you mumble. He raises his eyebrows, still waiting for an answer.  “Then let me put it simply: no, I did not.”
“Did you or did you not assassinate Ernesto Vega?”
“I would have remembered such a brilliant kill if it came from my gun.”
“So that’s a no… Daniel Seda?”
“His gun was pointed at my Captain. Yes.”
“Against orders, then?”
Confusion is written all over your face and you make sure the camera knows it too. There are only so many times you can repeat yourself. “Don’t you have Steve’s report? Scott’s?”
“We have to hear the story from you, Agent.”
“But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? You don’t believe me.”
He shrugs and quickly scans you up and down. Even if he doesn’t have the tangible notepad in his hands, he’s getting away with making mental notes. “The story just isn’t piecing together the way it should be. Why would Daniel Seda murder his greatest ally and friend?”
“Our mics have already transcribed that answer for you, sir. I’m sure of it. And I’ve got sources outside of the DEA and Avengers-”
“Like Maribel Rodrigo? Another smuggler who has operated inside the cartel, HYDRA, Madripoor…”
You cut him off, angry. “Not the full story.” 
Tone of voice: defensive.
“Then that leads me to my next question.”
“Oh, fun.”
Tone of voice: sarcastic.
He speaks with a tinge of astonishment hidden in every syllable. “Why didn’t you do it? Kill Ernesto, I mean.”
“I was disarmed at the time. The Captain and I both were,” you answer, growing more impatient by the second.
He uses his hands to speak now, finger pointing along an invisible timeline detailing the order of events. “So you admit you were going to kill him if you had your weapon.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth.”
Body movement: rigid.
“Or maybe you weren’t. Maybe my boss is right, maybe the FBI is right in thinking that you are a double agent leaning more towards your roots than our boys in blue.” He says this like its scripture; like it’s some holy conspiracy he’s just found evidence for. He wants you to plant words in your mouth and in this discussion so he can pluck the evidence from the ground and water it with fire.
You scoff hard, “I hardly ever wear blue when doing your job for you.”
“Was letting Omar Ramirez escape our job or just yours?”
Telling him the truth would mean losing all credibility, all titles, all trust in your work. You know what you’ve done and you don’t regret it. Ramirez was never the biggest fish and if you spun this right, then he was simply a fish who got his meal and promptly swam away. “You assume I let him go. What evidence tells you that?”
He ignores the question and instead asks another of his. “Why were your relations kept hidden from SHIELD and the FBI?”
“That’s a question for you know who.”
He shakes his head in disappointment. “You’re in a lot of trouble.”
“I bet I am. But this is not some precinct where you can get my team to turn on me so easily. And this is not a situation in which they’re lying for me. I trust that whatever the Captain has said is the answer to all your questions.”
“We’re gonna unravel this case. We’ll get to the bottom of it.”
You’re suddenly overcome with a wave of sleepiness. These past two weeks have been exhausting even if you haven’t moved more than five feet from wall to wall. Having to repeat yourself to people who have already written the story for themselves is tiring. “I don’t know why you guys can’t just believe the words of myself and everyone vouching for me. We got you all the evidence. We have given you more names and connections that you’ll ever know what to do with. You don’t need to unravel anything; it’s all there! But because we weren’t able to arrest the one person you wanted, that being Ernesto, you go after me. You have White but I guess he’s not talking. And you’ll believe what you want to believe.”
“I trust my gut.”
“As simple as that, huh?” You sigh deeply and cross your arms over your chest. “You know, there’s a saying the late Agent Carter used to tell all SHIELD agents when they first started out and when they came back from missions. When she retired, it was Fury who then eased our minds.” 
Agent Kavert has a harsh line creasing through the middle of his forehead and he looks deeply interested. 
“There are three sides to every story,” you recite. “Your side, my side, and the truth.” A gentle shrug of the shoulders feels like all you’re allowed to give him. “I’m not lying to you but I’m not telling you the full truth either. Just my side.”
Agent Kavert shuts his eyes and bounces his left leg. He looks conflicted and unable to formulate a response at all. He’s shaking like he’s at war with himself or with the suits on the other side of the door, but no one has come knocking yet. “Let’s say I believe you. Just for a second.”
You nod. 
“Daniel Seda murders Vega at his own daughter’s wedding. We managed to catch Marcus White and because of fault entirely, Omar Ramirez gets away. Because from what I heard, Ramirez was working with you.” He paints the picture rather mundane, but you shoot him a smile that tells him he’s on the right track. “And you and all the other Avengers were blindsided by Ramirez. You gathered all the evidence you were told to gather, worked together and played your cards right, infiltrated one of the most secure estates in the country, and fucked up so badly that you managed to let two of your biggest giants die?”
“I really think you got it spot on.”
He laughs dryly, “But it still doesn’t make sense. Once Vega was gone and Seda survived, where would you have fallen in this tree?”
He wants to retract his question the moment he sees your face fall with such a sincerity he wasn’t ready for. “That’s just it, Agent Kavert. I would have fallen.”
“And the other two? How would business work? Would Daniel Seda have been the head of it now?”
“Your answers are in the evidence we gathered. I know you guys aren’t touching it because you think I’m compromised.”
He stands from the chair and dusts off his jacket. “Your side, my side, and the truth,” he repeats. He goes to open the door but you speak quickly before he can leave. 
“They think I infiltrated SHIELD, the Avengers, and am in bed with HYDRA because they’ve been helping Ernesto’s vision all along.” Agent Kavert stops and turns back to you. “I am a double agent whose identity was kept secret to aid this country and not raise suspicions from your part. I have seen a lot of things, have done things I’m not proud of, but I’ve done it all for a reason.”
Agent Kavert looks almost ashamed. Tone of voice: sincere.
“Me and my Captain saved lives, our own as well, and we stopped three of the most notorious drug-lords who have been at large since the eighties. We got your giants for you. And the truth is, I have discovered: through all my pain and experience... that it’s excellent to have a giant’s strength; but it is tyrannous to use it like a giant.”
Agent Kavert doesn’t know if you’re talking about Ernesto, the U.S Government, yourself, or him. His eyebrows pinch together and he slowly moves to leave the room.
    It’s another week before you’re visited by someone who isn’t bringing you food or extra toilet paper. You’re picking at your cuticles when the vents above your cell begin rattling with the obvious weight of a human being. You sit dumbly on the bed, straining your ears and trying hard not to laugh as each rattle is returned with a muffled curse. The vent on the ceiling right outside your cell drops to the concrete floor. 
Ernesto’s men wouldn’t go through all that trouble to kill you James Bond style. They would have just bribed a guard. So it’s a treat when the door swings open quickly and in comes a staggering Clint, keys in one hand and his phone in the other. The screen is illuminated, showcasing what looks to be blueprints. He’s got a bandaid over his left eyebrow and dust all over his clothes.
Your upper lip twitches into a silly smile. “You’re ridiculous if you thought you wouldn’t be heard in those damn vents.”
Clint makes a noise that sounds like he’s saying ‘maaaf’ and he plops down beside you on the cot. It’s absolutely hilarious he traveled in the vents and that the team approved this when in reality, they could have just sent Scott. “Just had to get past the first line of security. Plus, the blueprints said they were wider... I figure we’ve got a good three minutes before they check the cameras.”
It’s not the first time you sit in a cell with a time crunch. 
     The Raft is nothing special. They have you all separated by rank, meaning you were in the same vicinity as Clint, Sam, and Scott. Wanda was moved to a more secure location and you haven’t seen her since they brought you in. 
There isn’t much to do in a place like this. You tried counting how many strands of hair you had but gave up once you counted two hundred; you tried seeing if the others could hear you when you yelled out to them but the cells were soundproof; you even tried filing your nails against the uneven paint on the wall. It’s like they made life in these cells purposefully horrible - like you didn’t save the world a couple times over, c’mon. 
The camera fidgets over your head where you’re laying down and after a few seconds, it stops. The red light slowly fades and turns a bright yellow. You move to stand on the bed and reach for it, but a voice startles you from doing so. 
“Don’t mess with my magic!”
You topple over the single pillow you were given and fall flat on the bed, scrambling to shield yourself from whoever intruded. “Jesus!”
“Oh, I met him. Strange lad, didn’t deserve what happened to him.”
There’s a moment where you think you must be dreaming. His hair is longer and hits his shoulders and he’s added some blue and yellow to his usual attire. But other than that, he’s alive. Truly, brilliantly, really alive. 
“Loki, what the fuck?”
“Right!” Loki claps his hands and extends them outwards, smiling.  “Ta-da!”
A few beats pass. You blink a few times just in case you’re hallucinating. Barely a week in containment… 
“I’m sorry… I’m still trying to process the fact that you’re still alive!”
He scoffs low and goes to sit at the edge of the bed. “A God never truly dies, darling.”
“Well in Greek mythology-”
“Greek mythology and I have this unsettled beef that’s been going on for about five hundred years. Do not mention Greek mythology to me.”
“Excuse me, right, I should have known that was a sensitive topic.”
Loki swipes his tongue over his bottom lip and expels a laugh. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
Your restraint is gone and you lunge forward to envelope him in the tightest hug you’ve ever given anyone. He returns it, sighing into your shoulder and holding you close. You pull away just to stare at him, watching his features as they move ever so slightly. It’s really him. 
“I-” Loki tries but stutters. He’s studying you too and he almost looks sad. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“Does Thor know?” Loki shakes his head at your question and winces when you smack his shoulder. “Loki, Thor has been grieving you for months!”
“I’m planning on it!” You don’t believe him. He goes to rub his shoulder. “Gods, I forgot you had excellent aim.”
You look back at the camera and find that the yellow light is still glowing, dim. Loki’s magic is blocking footage out or putting footage in, you really don’t know. But it’s allowing you a few moments with the man you thought you’d never see again. “Spontaneous reincarnation aside, what are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?”
“I’m on this planet for five-FIVE minutes, and the television has all these reports about you and everyone fighting each other?”
“Mm, right, right.”
Loki stares at you, amused. “... Care to explain?”
Your face contorts into a hundred different expressions until you finally settle on one of gentle guilt. “The person we were after was a friend of a friend. I made a judgement call and let him go.”
“You went against orders?”
“I went against the law.”
“Even better.”
With an eyebrow cocked, you give him a judging look. “Loki.”
His eyes crinkle from the intensity of his smile and you’ve missed him, you missed him so much. “That’s what I love about you. Barely starting out as an Avenger and you’re already realizing you can do more good in your own way.”
You groan quietly and rest your head on his shoulder. He wraps his arm around your waist and tugs you closer. “I mainly did it for Steve. Wasn’t like it was a big ‘fuck you’ to one-hundred and seventeen nations for the hell of it.”
“Do you regret it?”
“No.”
“Spoken like a true anti-hero.”
“You comparing me to yourself?”
Loki chuckles and runs his fingers through the strands of hair closest to your cheek. “Darling, I’m a God. No one comes close.” He sighs, serious again. “All I’m saying is that it’s refreshing to see the young break the rules.”
“I missed you,” you softly say. You can feel the nudge of his cheek turning upward against your head. 
“Always nice to hear.”
Rolling your eyes, you move to meet his gaze. “So, no reason why you came to visit me specifically?”
Loki takes one cautious look at the camera, to outside your cell, and back to you. “I too do things for your lovely Captain.” His smile grows wider. 
“What?”
He winks and tilts his head over to the giant metal doors that are starting to pry open. “See you in a minute.” 
The alarms begin blazing; there is fog filling the room, and Steve emerges from that fog with a winning smirk.
     You look over at Clint, half selfishly wishing he was Loki on another one of his midnight visits, and quickly do away with the thought. “So how’s life without me?”
“Oh, it’s great! The flowers are in bloom, the kitchen isn’t always a mess, and my bow and arrow aren’t misplaced because you wanted to have some fun with it,” he jokes, stretching far enough that his feet dig into your thigh like he’s trying to make more room for himself.  
“Not like it’s your only bow and arrow.”
He chuckles and sits up. He does a once over of the room and adjusts the frequency on his hearing aid. “They read you your rights at least?”
You wait to respond until he finishes fixing it. You speak and sign the words slowly,  “I don’t think any lawyer in America will want to take this case anyway.”
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s a career killer.”
Trying to refrain from smiling around Clint was nearly impossible. You look to the door quickly, “Two minutes?”
He shoots up straighter as he watches your hands, “Right! So we’re currently tracking down your sister-”
“My sister?”
“Steve thinks she’s our only hope at clearing your name.”
“Why is that? I told her to get as far away as possible.”
Clint sighs and scratches the skin just above the bandaid. “She stayed in Mexico all those years you were gone. By all accounts, Ernesto adored her. Because of that, her influence might clear your name.”
“But she stayed. All the more reason to believe she was involved as well,” you say, shaking your head.
“She’s barely out of her teens. Everything that happened, happened when she was a minor. She has a first hand account of the abuse Ernesto caused you. And Steve thinks that the Julian fellow might even come clean and admit to the arranged marriage. Shows a pattern of abuse by Ernesto to his own children. Could spin it to make it seem like you had no other choice but to follow his orders.”
You follow his hands slowly, some signs difficult to read but you latch onto the gist of his argument. You groan and lean your head back on the wall with a small thump. “They go against Ernesto and they have targets on their backs. Even my other siblings who are still involved with all of this won’t let it go.”
“Y/N… Ernesto’s dead. You know that.”
“His influence isn’t.”
There’s minimal commotion a few doors down. Clint realizes it’s time to leave. “It might never be. But we don’t get to live in the future.” He stands with another small groan and stretches as he prepares to lift himself back into the vent. “We’re living now, and it’s all any of us can do.”
“Clint?” You also stand and have to wave in his peripheral to get his attention. He turns and knows what you’re about to say even without the hand gestures. “They won’t answer me when I ask.”
His lips pull into a perceptive smile, “He’s okay. Doing what he does best - blaming himself.”
“Oh, okay, good.”
He’s had enough practice reading your lips to notice the sarcasm that drips from them. He hurries to lift himself up. “We’ve got about a million tricks up our sleeve. If Jackeline’s word or the evidence isn’t enough, we’ve always got Fury and his blackmail.”
“Yeah, half the guys who interviewed me look like they cheat on their wives, so.”
He genuinely laughs and jumps high, muttering more to himself than to you. “Up we go…”
     The team locates Jackeline just a few days after your run-in with Clint. The building saw a triple rise in security but even then it didn’t prevent undercover agents passing all the checkpoints and sliding notes with your meals. They’d leave the tray, tip their hats, and smile like they knew the cameras wouldn’t suspect a thing. 
The first note is from Bucky, with the simple message of ‘I watched a few episodes of The Crown without you… I’m sorry.’
The second comes on the same day at dinner time, this one from Wanda. ‘I think Peter is trying to flirt with your sister.’
The third isn’t slipped through with any meal, but rather through the tiny opening beneath the door. ‘Surprised we did this the legal way this time! See you soon! - Rhodey’
The final one is actually hand delivered when several guards come in to tell you you’re free to go. They’re mumbling amongst themselves, cursing the system and the privileges Avengers always get, when the smallest of the five turns to you and hands you the note. ‘I owe you one. You owe me one. Who’s counting anymore? - Joaquin’
Jackeline had been able to track down Maribel and the two of them, with such accuracy in their stories and their timelines, constructed your defense perfectly. They showed them phone records, all of the recordings from that week, had proof that you never signed a thing, and made several special deals. Jackeline promised to reveal where bodies were buried, where business was dealt with, who else was involved with Ernesto and Seda. Maribel managed to get a message to them from Ramirez, which basically cleared you from the crime they were trying to stick. Ramirez was a damn good liar, you’ll give him that, and it made you the tiniest bit sad that you’d probably never see him again. 
The tipping point was when Steve turned himself in. There was no evidence that you did anything, never signed anything, never conspired behind your teammates backs. Fury made sure not to keep a paper or electronic trail. But there was evidence that implicated Steve - the contract. No matter how badly the FBI and CIA tried to make it go away, to absolve Steve from it, he didn’t back down. It was like the story they originally wanted toppled in on itself and it was actually Steve who forced you into all of this - playing your connections and forcing your hand. The contract hadn’t been voided, still hasn’t, and they really couldn’t risk another SHIELD fiasco. So it was destroyed to protect the Stars and Stripes, and in return they promised to let you go if you didn’t tell a soul. The image you’d come to despise, that tacky red, white and blue, is starting to grow on you.
‘Let me think about that and get back to you,’ you had joked. You think they let you go sooner because they feared the truth in your joke. 
But there wasn’t anything to think about, ever, still isn’t. Steve pulled another sacrifice play and you wanted to get out as soon as possible to kick his ass. 
You leave the prison with the same clothes you had on when you entered. They smell washed and you’re thankful they allowed you to shower before you left. You ignore the looks guards and prisoners aim at you, each trying to somehow get their hits in without actually pulling their punches. This would be a media disaster either way, didn’t matter the outcome of a supposed trial, and PR was most likely struggling to prepare their defense. 
You resist the embarrassing urge to run into his arms. He’s standing right outside the gates, leaning back on the passenger side of his rusty old blue pickup, positively glowing underneath the blazing sun. You’re blinded by it, skin thanking the dangerous rays for its first touch in weeks, but it only takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. He still hasn’t shaved and his hair is getting longer, and instead of his usual tucked-in dress shirt, he’s wearing a brown leather jacket over a faded graphic tee that reads AC/DC. It was Tony’s.
You’ve only got the broken burner phone and a hair tie in your possession; it’s what was on you when you were arrested. You drop the burner in a nearby trashcan and head on over to the truck. Steve’s wide smile buckles your knees and it damn near breaks your heart. Even when the two of you weren’t on speaking terms, you still saw each other at least twice a week. Going two weeks without seeing him feels like a lifetime. 
Once you're a few feet away, you stop in front of him. There are no immediate words you know to say, so you simply shrug your shoulders and give him a look that asks ‘What now?’
“Home.”
~
TAGLIST: @dumb-ass-writer​ @justab-eautifulmess​ @supraveng​ @mycosmicparadise​ @missnighttigress​
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sazc94 · 4 years ago
Text
The Three Times James "Bucky" Barnes Broke your heart
This was inspired by @msmarvelwrites 2k Writing Challenge because I'm a sucker for Taylor Swift especially sad Taylor Vibes. I chose the all too well lyrics.
Apparently, I can't do anything small so it's in two parts.
Part 2 Here
Pairs Bucky x Reader and Pietro x Reader. (Not at the same time)
No smut but mentions of sex so 18+
Themes: highschool, cheating, college/uni. Friendship
Words 5659 its Suburban AU.
Winter 2018
You sat on the window seat, head resting on the cool glass a mug of hot chocolate between your hands. Winter in New York was something else, the way everything sparkled in the blanket of snow. This wasn’t your first December in the “Big Apple” but it was your first after moving here. Like the walking cliché you were you had moved here for a Fresh Start, after being offered a once in a lifetime opportunity of working for Tony Stark. You hadn’t planned on taking the job working as head of advertising for Stark Industries. The idea of moving from your small town in Michigan away from your family, everyone you knew and loved, and most importantly away from your best friend and your on-again-off-again boyfriend Bucky seemed ludicrous. You knew James or Bucky as he was to those who knew and loved him would never leave Michigan not if it meant leaving her.
James and you had been friends since, well as since long as you could remember. You had lived on the same street, gone to the same schools, played in the streets on your bikes when you were 8, played in the local park between the ages of 10 and 12. When you both hit 13 everyone assumed you would both either stop being friends or would fall romantically in love. Neither of those happened at least not right away. You two carried on hanging around each-others houses, playing video games and watching movies. Bucky had always been fiercely protective over you, his blue eyes narrowing at anyone who dared to pick on you when you were younger. His eyes would light up when you walked into the room, he loved Friday nights saved just for the pair of you to watch cheesy horror films, lounge around his sofa and stuff your faces with popcorn.
2008
Everything changed when you were 15, you and Bucky had always been inseparable, when no one asked you to combined Prom in your Freshman year, Bucky had surprised you. Showing up at your house dressed in a suit and tie with a white rose corsage, his long brown hair slicked back. You walked downstairs in your ballet slipper pink chiffon dress, your locks twisted into an intricate bun, this was the first time you’d worn heels and you nearly missed the bottom step when you saw Bucky in his Grey Suit stood in your living room. Bucky had tried out for the football team and obviously to no ones’ surprise had become the Star QB. As a result of that Bucky’s grey suit stretched across his muscular frame. Once you’d saved yourself from falling face-first down the last stair you walked over to Bucky grinning like a fool. “Bucky, what, what are you doing here? I thought you were going with Sam and Pietro and the rest of the football team” you said. “Well, I couldn’t leave my best girl flying solo at our first prom now, could I?” Bucky grinned down to you. “Besides the rest of the guys were meeting dates at the dance, so I told them I’d meet them there with you” you felt yourself blush at Bucky’s term of endearment. You and Bucky posed for photos for your Mum and Dad, your Dad trusted Bucky like his own son so there was no awkward father stare down there, you even had your curfew extended to 2 am.
The prom itself was magical, Bucky introduced you to his teammates and their dates. Sam was there with a cheerleader, Jane Foster she was friends with the cool alternative girl Wanda Maximoff who was Pietro’s twin sister they were Sophomores but made you feel welcome at their table. Complimenting your hair and shoes. Pulling you onto the dancefloor to dance with them and the rest of the cheerleaders and co to the pumped-up pop songs that blasted out. The way the gym had been transformed was nothing short of breath-taking, led fairy lights strung up in waves from the ceiling, silver stars hanging against the velvet blue backdrops made you believe you were spending the night under the stars. When the music changed to a slow song -Tim McGraw by an up-and-coming artist Taylor Swift. The Group of girls surrounding you soon dissipated to slow dance with their respective others. You started to make your way back to the table you’d been sat at, happy to finally take a breather when you felt someone tug on your wrist. You turned around fully prepared to slap whatever creep had felt it suitable to touch someone they didn’t know but your face softened to find the familiar blue-eyed, muscular brunette smirking at you. “Miss Y/N” may I have this dance?”, he asked. “Why certainly, MR James Buchanan Barnes” you replied chuckling to yourself. Bucky cocked an eyebrow at the use of his full name before pulling you tight towards him. He wrapped your arms around his neck before wrapping his around your waist. Your breath caught in the back of your throat, you and Bucky had never been this intimate, sure still hugged and had kissed each other on the cheek when you were like 5, but this felt different. The way Bucky enveloped you, the scent of his aftershave mixed with his mum’s washing powder he smelt like cherry blossom mixed with sandalwood. You rested your head on Bucky’s chest, closing your eyes deciding to take this all in. A small smile tugged on your lips as you felt Bucky stroke your hips. You didn’t know it, but he looked at you with such love and adoration and his heart squeezed watching you rest your head on his chest the smile on your pale pink lips. Bucky moved his right hand from your waist and brought it to your cheek, slightly stroking it before lifting your face to look him in the eyes. His eyes shone with affection; his eyes so blue like the ocean you felt like you were drowning in them. Then his lips were on yours crashing against your slightly chapped lips, you cursed yourself for not wearing Chapstick like the cheerleaders and Wanda did. However, as the kiss deepened, and you felt Bucky’s left-hand grip on you together and you melted into the kiss everything else faded away. Bucky drew back and looked at you. Your smile dazzling him as your eyes shone back at him. Neither of you said a word as he pulled you back to his chest whilst the DJ played another slow song.
2009 - 2010
Bucky and you dated from the end of your Freshman year right up until the summer before your senior year. Bucky and you had been inseparable for most of your High School life, he even convinced you to try out for the cheerleading squad in your Junior year, usually you sat on the Side-lines with Wanda and Carol Danvers, it wasn’t that you didn’t want to be a cheerleader it's just you were comfortable being “Bucky’s Girl” the one everyone knew without being in the spotlight, however after Wanda and Carol egged you on saying that you had the moves you went for it. You surprisingly made the squad. You couldn’t wait to tell Bucky, warmth spreading through your cheeks at the thought of how he’d be so proud. You decided to keep it quiet until you had your uniform. Jane and the girls had also promised to keep their mouths shut until you’d had the chance to surprise him. So, when homecoming rolled around, and you got your uniform for the first time you went along to the locker rooms where the football team would be heading off to change before the big pep rally. You stood against the wall one foot pressed against it, your knee bent whilst you waited. You heard Sam and Pietro before you saw them. They turned the corner roughhousing one another playfully. “Looking good Y/N” Sam shouted as he clocked you in your brand-new uniform. “looks like Bucky’s personal cheerleader now cheers for us all,” he said walking over to you and enveloping you in a hug. You giggled and at that moment Bucky Turned the corner with Peter Parker a freshman. He couldn’t see your uniform from the way that Sam’s body was covering yours, but he saw your face and started running down the hallway to you. As Sam and Pietro headed inside, he finally got to see the big reveal, he stopped in his tracks for a second. His eyes taking in every inch of your body, the skirt shorter than anything you owned, the top hugging your curves. He ran over to you picking you up and spinning you in the air as you squealed. “I knew you could do it Doll,” he said as he peppered kisses over your head, cheek, and lips. You blushed at his praise. Your Junior year with Bucky was a blur, between the football games, classes, parties’ dates with Bucky you felt like time was rushing past. You Even won Prom King and Queen at your Junior Prom. To no one’s surprise. However, that summer everything changed.
Summer 2010
You were on holiday with your family, visiting your grandparents in Miami. Every year you for as long as you could remember you and your family would spend the last 3 weeks of summer break at your grandparents. You had begged Bucky to come with you as he had in the past, however, due to football camp, he had been unable to swing it. “Hey, I’m sorry doll, it’s just coach said if I didn’t go he wouldn’t consider me for team captain,” he said hugging you from behind as you sat on your porch steps, his chin resting on your head. He had sworn to you that you would text every day and would skype at least once a week for the three weeks you were there. However, after the first week, Bucky’s texts had become less and less frequent. He’d only Skyped you once and you’d get texts from Various friends asking where you were as you weren’t at the latest party. On the final night of your holiday, as you walked along the beach by yourself taking in the last of the holiday feel your phone rang, you looked down it, confused when the caller Id said, Jane. “Hey, babe. Look I’m not sure how to say this” but uh we’re at a small party at Wanda and Pietro’s there’s about 15 of us, including this friend of mine Nat and uhm well, Bucky’s pretty wasted and well after I noticed I hadn’t seen him for a while I went looking for him”. Jane’s voice sounded stressed. You squeezed your eyes shut as tears tried to escape, not liking where this was going. “And uh, oh god I’m really sorry girl, but I, I kind of walked in on them fucking” Jane blurted it out, going for the band-aid approach as if saying it quicker would make it the cut sting any less. You didn’t say anything, you just stood there staring out the black ocean, the warm sand between your toes, feeling your heartbreak. You couldn’t believe it. Your sweet protective Bucky who had beaten up Miles Morales in 8th Grade for standing you up for an arcade date and breaking your heart. “I, I, I got to go my flights early tomorrow. My, my family will be wondering where I am” you stumbled over your words trying to get off the phone as quick as possible not wanting anyone to hear you cry.
Senior year was one of the most painful years, Bucky had met you at your house the day you got back, sitting on the wooden steps to your porch. He looked like he had barely slept, much like you. You were an only child, but your older cousin who was transferring to Michigan State University for his second year had come home with you. He took a look at Bucky and then back at you, you nodded telling him it was fine and that you had this. He walked inside but not before muttering punk under his breath. Bucky winced, he looked at you his blue eyes that once shone with nothing but love and adoration for you, now looked blank, empty, and almost unrecognisable. His brown hair which he had cut in his Sophomore year looked a mess. He started towards you, but you held your arm out.
“Don’t,” you said. He looked crestfallen and his heart shattered as you struggled to hold yourself together. “Doll, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, please, look at me, ill make it up to you, it will never happen again” he pleaded with you, his ocean blue eyes stared at your red brimmed eyes, cheeks puffy and streaked from all the crying over the last 16 hours. “Just don’t” You warned him. “Look, baby, it was a mistake, it meant nothing to me” he continued to plead despite your warning reaching out for your hand. His words hit you like a knife, you two hadn’t slept together yet and here he was claiming this meant nothing. You wrenched your hand free from him his touch burning you with his betrayal. “It meant nothing. It meant nothing!?! If it meant nothing you wouldn’t have slept with this Natasha James” you whispered. Bucky flinched at the use of his real name. Oh, how you wanted to shout, thrash scream at him and tell him you would forgive him, but you couldn’t. You had looked up the girls Instagram that night when you laid in bed crying and you couldn��t help but compare yourself to her the gorgeous read head with curves in all the right places. You started to walk towards your house. Unable to keep the tears back and not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing you cry, Bucky called out for you, pleading with you. “I thought you loved me James, but it clearly meant something to you, or else you wouldn’t have thrown away two years of dating and 12 years of dating for sex with someone that wasn’t me, we were meant to be each other’s firsts, but you decided you couldn’t wait to get your dick wet so you went and fucked this chick you’ve known for what 5 minutes?” you cried out in anger, Bucky flinched again as if you’d slapped him. “Actually, I met her last year at one of our away game parties” he mumbled, his feet kicking the dirt around his feet. “I think you should leave” you whispered, choking back a sob before you ran into your house slamming the door behind you.
You and Bucky barely spoke that entire final year of school, you had been voted cheer Captain at the end of the summer semester, much to Jane’s approval, and you loved being a cheerleader, so you threw yourself into that as well as the school’s production of Little Shop of Horrors. You cheered at the games putting on your show face and hyping up the crowds. You wowed in the role of Audrey in the show, avoided parties with the football team and buckled down focusing on your exams and audition for the performing arts programme at the University of Michigan. After Bucky had realised, he was never going to get you to forgive him he had ended up dating Natasha. The news hit you like a sucker punch to begin with but after meeting up with Wanda, Carol, and Jane during the spring break you made your peace with it. You even smiled at Bucky in the hallways when you saw each other. By the time Graduation rolled around you had healed.
November 2011
You ended up getting into the University of Michigan on a partial scholarship thanks to your cheerleading and you were enjoying the performing arts programme, the performing arts programme at the Uni had really blown up after the whole viral “A Very Potter Musical” back in 2009 and you were thrilled to be there. You had settled right in making friends with a young lad from your course Loki Laufeyson right away. He was attractive in an unconventional way, with long black hair, a tall skinny frame but he still had muscles. You two had been cast opposite each other in Romeo and Juliet during your first year and had become good friends. You even ran into Pietro frequently he had gotten a football scholarship and couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw you on the sidelines one November game. Pietro didn’t really “do” social media and hadn’t paid any attention to Wanda as you had told her, after Bucky’s betrayal you hadn’t spoken much with Sam or Pietro, after all, they were his friends and were now Uni students. “Well, well, well, if it isn’t Bucky’s girl,” he said grinning at you after the game, ruffling your hair like you were 5 again. You couldn’t help but wince at the old pet name, everyone in the group had called you it, Sam, Wanda, Carol even Jane but you hadn’t been Bucky’s girl for a year, well longer if you take into consideration the fact he’d been chatting with Natasha on and off for the entire year before they slept together. “It’s just Y/N” or you can call me cutie you said winking at Pietro, he chuckled. “How about I just call you tomorrow?” he retorted, you felt yourself blush. Pietro had always been a cocky confident guy, his silver-blonde hair covering his ice blue eyes, he had always been a hit with the ladies, but he seemed that bit more attractive, slightly leaner, still confident but not arrogant. You shrugged before pulling out a sharpie from your bag, you wrote down your number on his arm. He cocked his head puzzled. “I changed it last year after Bucky wouldn’t stop blowing it up with apology texts,” you said simply. Before Pietro could respond you ran off to join the rest of your squad and headed for the changing room.
True to his charm and word, Pietro called you the next day offering to be your personal guide and show you all the hidden beauty spots of the campus. You accepted; even though you had been here for two months already. You walked around the campus and had a great time, you felt yourself really relaxing and laughing at his corny jokes and the way he wiggled his silver eyebrows at you whenever he made a bad joke. You couldn’t remember the last time you laughed, and you meant really laughed, the kind of clutched over struggling to get air into your lung’s laughter that the Silver-haired, blue-eyed cutie gave you. By the time Pietro had finished his tour the sun was beginning to dip, he walked you back to your dorm ever the gentleman. However, this time when your hands brushed against each other he grabbed your hand and spun you around. His hand was cool and smooth, a stark difference to Bucky’s warm calloused hands. The pair of you walked back hand in hand in comfortable silence. When you got to your dorm you leant against your door, your eyes meeting Pietro’s ice blue eyes, the almost sparkled. Pietro positioned himself so that he had one hand above your head, the other to your side trapping you between the door and himself. He leant down and kissed you. It was soft and delicate, his cool lips sucking the air out of your lungs. He pulled away winking at you before he sauntered off to join his teammates at some frat party.
That was the beginning of a three-year relationship with Pietro, you two had been on multiple dates, some official, some were just bumping into each other at the same party and then spending the rest of the evening together all through November and early December of your first year. He even came to support you at your Cheerleading competitions. Neither of you had put a label on it, but he had changed his home screen to a picture of the pair of you, it was one captured by Peter Parker, funnily enough, he was visiting the Uni with his photography club and captured the moment Pietro had picked you up after the Wolverines won their 6th game. He spun you around before dropping you down and kissing your forehead. Pietro didn’t know that you had seen his home screen. However as you were both travelling home for the Holidays you had agreed to travel together, Pietro had offered to drive but you had refused. Telling him that it would be easier for you to drive as you would be running lines late and therefore you could swing by his apartment on the way out of town. It was only a short drive to Dearborn but with the extra holiday traffic, you estimated it would take at least an hour to get to your parents. You connected your iPod to the car via AUX and pulled up your playlist you had made for the drive. You avoided all Christmas songs, and you were sick of them they played everywhere you went. Instead, you opted for Taylor Swift, damn she had blown up since 2008.
After about 30 minutes of driving as you hit the peak of the holiday traffic, you leant over to turn down the volume of your music. Comfortable with the pace of the traffic, you turned your head to Pietro. “So,” you began. “What’s up Bunny?” Pietro asked snapping his eyes up from his phone. “Well, I just thought now might be a good time to talk, we’re obviously going to run into a lot of our old friends, and there’s no way Wanda won’t know something is going on here, and I, I saw your lock screen,” you said, you could feel yourself blush, there was something about Pietro, he made you feel like a high school sophomore all over again. “So you were wondering what we are?” the amusement in Pietro’s voice didn’t escape your notice, you could feel yourself getting embarrassed. Of course, he was a college Sophomore, you two had never had the exclusive talk, how could you be so silly. You stared straight ahead focusing on the slow-moving traffic. Oh god, you wanted to die. Pietro noticed the change in your demeanour and instantly felt bad, he grabbed your right hand from the steering wheel. “Hey Bunny, look at me,” he said softly, you turned your head to face him. “We are exclusive, we are a couple, I’m sorry you felt the need to ask, but I adore you, so we are a thing,” he said stroking circles on the back of your hand. You smiled and nodded to yourself.
Almost everyone had made it back for the Holidays, excluding a few people, Bucky, Carol, and Jane, they all had their reasons, but you couldn’t help but feel a little sad that Carol and Jane had been unable to make it back. Wanda was elated for you and Pietro, to your surprise she threatened Pietro and not you. Christmas break came and went all too quickly. Pietro even brought you a small gift even though he didn’t celebrate Christmas, what with being Jewish. He was also very touched at your gift a small, framed copy of the photo of his lock screen, only in black and white except for the ribbon in your hair, the number on his Jersey matching his number painted on your cheek. The next year also seemed to rush by, between keeping on top of your studies, your rehearsals for the play, football matches, nationals for your cheerleading competition. It felt like you had barely any time to breathe.
2012
The summer between your 1st year and 2nd year was a small respite, Pietro had decided to stay in his apartment for the summer, he had a summer job and you decided to stick around after trying out for a local theatres summer production of Grease, unsurprisingly you had been cast as Patty Simcox a cheerleader. “How ironic, my little cheerleader playing a cheerleader” Pietro joked. You just rolled your eyes at him, that night Pietro stayed in your dorm, you were going to have to move out for the summer, your roommate for the year had decided she was going to move into her Sorority House next year and was going home for the summer. You and Pietro were cuddled up on the sofa watching Grease, you had your legs over Pietro and the arm of the sofa. To your surprise, Pietro had confessed he’d never seen it and had asked you to watch it with him so he could see who you would be playing. You let out a sigh. “What’s up bunny?” he asked not taking his eyes of the movie, he was rubbing small circles on your legs. “Student housing emailed me today, they said since Sophie is moving out and going home for the summer. I can’t stay in my dorm this summer. I’m trying to figure out where to go as the apartment I want to rent isn’t available until August” you said, blowing your hair out of your face. “Move in with me for the summer,” Pietro said without skipping a beat. “We’re not going to be around much in the daytime, you’ve spent a lot of nights at mine recently and it’s just for the summer, theirs a spare bedroom where you can store your stuff, and Wanda will be visiting in 3 weeks, it’s no big deal,” he said as he continued rubbing circles on your legs. You stared at him for a moment, your mind racing. “Okay,” you said nervously biting your lip. “Okay, I’ll move in for the summer,” you said again this time sounding surer of yourself. You picked up the remote and pressed pause on the DVD. You and Pietro had been dating for most of the school year, and he had been nothing but a gentleman never pressuring you for more than you were comfortable with, he knew Bucky had hurt you and you still hadn’t had sex yet as a result of it. You stood up a peeled of your jumper, Pietro cocked his head with his cute, puzzled expression. You didn’t say anything, instead, you removed your athletic shorts leaving you in nothing but one of Pietro’s football jerseys and your panties. You walked to your bedroom. Pietro didn’t move. After a few moments of waiting for him to follow you walked to your door frame and coughed, Pietro looked at you. “Well, are you coming or not handsome?” you asked leaning against your frame, so his jersey rid up slightly exposing the skin of your stomach. Pietro chucked his phone on the sofa before throwing you over his shoulder. That night you and Pietro had sex for the first time.
December 2012
Summer came and went in a blur of a heatwave, and lots of sex. You moved into your apartment off-campus, you spent a lot of time hanging out with Loki between classes, throwing ideas back and forth for an original piece you had to work on for the spring showcase. Pietro and you would always ride to games together, with Pietro being in his third year, the team bus rides were no longer compulsory and as the college couldn’t afford for the squad to have a bus you had to make your own way to the away games anyway. You and Pietro had driven home for Winter break, your family had decided to head to Boston this year, that way your cousin could see his family, however as you and Pietro had a game two days after New Years it didn’t make sense for you to fly out for such a short period off time. This was your first Christmas in years where you wouldn’t be seeing your family, or even celebrating really. However, Wanda and her Mum had insisted Pietro bring you home with him for the winter break. So that was how you found yourself sat in Pietro and Wanda’s basement drinking beer and hanging out with the old gang along with some new faces. Carol had brought home her girlfriend Valkyrie, Jane and Sam were there, even Peter Parker who was now a senior was there he’d even brought his girlfriend Gwen with him. Wanda had brought home her Boyfriend James or Vision as he was affectionately known. Wanda was studying Fashion in NYC; Vision was studying IT and was a whiz with technology. You were cuddled up in the corner of the sofa with Pietro, he was playing some game with Sam and Peter and you were scrolling through your IG feed. Taylor Swift’s latest Album Red playing through the speakers. Pietro had groaned but with Sam being a secret Swifty he was quickly outvoted. You kissed Pietro’s cheek getting up to grab another bottle of beer each. You were technically underage for another few months, but Wanda’s mum had said if you were going to drink whilst you were here, she’d rather you did it under her roof in a safe controlled manner.
You heard him before you saw him. Being the gracious guest you are, you had noticed the beer was low in the fridge, so you were restocking it when you heard Bucky’s familiar laugh. You may have made peace with what Bucky had done but other than a quick congratulations and farewell at Graduation you hadn’t spoken since that summer back in 2010.
Bucky walked over to the fridge, you had changed your hair colour since you’d last seen him at Graduation in 2011, your usual hair was now a chocolate brown, you had your head in the fridge still when he coughed. “Hi I’m Bucky,” he said. You took a deep breath, grabbed three bottles of beer and pulled your head out of the fridge, turning around to face him. “I’m well aware who you are, Bucky,” you said handing him a beer. Bucky’s eyes widened as his ocean blue eyes reached yours. “Hey Buck,” you said softly. “Y/N. I didn’t recognise you” he grinned, moving to hug you. You let it happen, standing stiffly in his arms. “Yeah it's been a minute, how’s school, and Natasha, I heard you got into UDM?” you asked shooting him a smile before twisting the lid of your bottle. “Yeah, I did. Schools great kicking my ass a bit and Natasha and I broke up actually” he said avoiding eye contact with you. You and Bucky made polite conversation for a few minutes Pietro finished up his game with Sam and Peter, noticed you hadn’t returned so made his way over to you and Bucky. “Hey Bunny,” he said kissing the corner of your head before wrapping his arms around you. “Hey Buck, long time no see!” Pietro said. Bucky stood frozen for a few seconds processing what he had just witnessed. “Hey, Pietro Yeah. It's been a hot minute, so you two are a couple? You guys look cute congrats. Oh man, wow is that Peter over there? I barely recognise him I’m going to go say hey. Catch you guys later!” Bucky said practically running over to Peter. You turned around and kissed Pietro. “Come on Quicksilver, let’s see if I can beat you at Mario Kart,” you said pulling him over to the sofa.
December 2012 – August 2014
Winter break came and went. Your second year at Uni whizzed past. Pietro even joined you and your family for your annual summer vacation in Miami, your grandparents were getting on a bit so you decided to skip the summer production of Hairspray. By the time, your third year rolled around you and Pietro settled into a routine between school, studying, games and rehearsals you would steal kisses in the hallways, meet one another at classes with hot drinks, coffee for Pietro not that he needed a boost of energy and usually a hot chocolate for you. After football games, Pietro would drive you back to his apartment. If it were a rare free evening, you’d curl up with a movie at yours. Hanging onto the small moments of peace. You both knew Pietro was going to be moving to New York after he graduated. He’d been studying business and was going to start a fashion company with Wanda. You also both knew that long-distance wasn’t going to work, you’d been majoring in performing arts, but you had also been taking extra courses to help with a career in advertising as a backup. Saying your goodbyes to one another sucked ass. You and Pietro had left your annual Miami holiday a week early to spend a week in Florida visiting the Theme Parks, Wanda and Vision were also going to meet you there. Neither of you had grown up exceptionally wealthy, but Wanda and Pietro’s dad Max Eisenhardt had reached out to them a few years back and had insisted on paying for the four of you to have a group vacation. He had tried to convince Wanda and Pietro to book a holiday in Germany where he was living but they had refused. Pietro had already packed up his apartment and moved most of it back to his family home whilst you finished up school for the year. He had been staying with you for the summer before joining you on your vacation so when you headed to the airport it was time to say your goodbyes. “Be good Bunny, don’t cause too much mischief with Loki and stay in touch. I love you my little Bunny” he said wiping the tears from your eyes. You couldn’t say anything, so you just held him tight and cried.
Tagging the bestie @lannycleave because I have promised to write a sad Steve one as a way to punnish myself
Part 2
125 notes · View notes
alicanta77 · 4 years ago
Text
Run Away
pairing: y/n x Jaemin
themes: fluff, angst, non idol au
warnings: swearing, violence, fighting, drugs, drug use, overdose, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex, depression, suicide attempt, death, character death, anxiety, abusive family, alcohol abuse
words: 12k
Disclaimer: This contains very dark content. Please do NOT read if you are uncomfortable with or easily triggered by anything listed in the warnings.
——————————————————————————
Would you run away to me?
‘Run away!’ Your young voice rang out clearly. ‘Run away before Hook catches you!’
‘Captain Hook will never catch me.’ Jaemin declared, standing on a box to put himself higher than you. ‘Because I’m Peter Pan!’
Yours and Jaemin’s mothers watched the two of you play. Just two seven year olds who had nothing more to worry about than being saved from a giant make believe crocodile. 
You fell backwards pretending as though you had landed in water. You flailed your arms and legs around calling out for Jaemin to save you. 
Jaemin saw the “danger” you were in and leapt into action. He jumped off of his box, landing in a shaky forwards roll, before picking up into a run and speeding towards you. He paused on the way to grab a large stick from the floor to use as a sword as he pretended to battle the imaginary demon attacking you.
After the monster was defeated, he landed on his knees next to you. Pulling you close to check that you were okay.
‘Y/n? You’re safe now. Nothing can touch you when I’m here.’ He reassured you.
‘My hero.’ You giggled, sitting up properly.
Both your heads turned as your mother called the two of you in for a snack. You took Jaemin’s hand and pulled yourself up.
‘Race you to the table!’ You challenged, sprinting towards the open back door.
‘Cheat! You should have waited for me to be ready.’ Jaemin complained, already running after you. It didn’t matter how much of a head start you gave yourself, Jaemin would always let you win anyway.
You enjoyed playing make believe with Jaemin. The imaginary worlds you created were always so much better than reality. Places where the two of you could be heroes and save people, where you were safe as long as you had each other, where nothing and nobody could touch you.
Unfortunately, you always had to come back to reality.
You father stumbled through the door, throwing his keys in the general direction of the coffee table, and missing. He sent you and Jaemin a withering look before making his way upstairs. He left a strong scent of alcohol behind him, one that you were very used to.
Jaemin’s mother looked towards yours with a sympathetic smile, your mother simply shrugging helplessly back at her. You and Jaemin were too young to properly understand what was going on, but, even at that age, you could tell that it wasn’t good.
Jaemin had always been better at reading people than you were. He could tell from the slightest twitch in someone’s eyebrow as to whether they were angry, sad or confused. The only person you could read like a book was Jaemin. The two of you never bothered to hide anything from the other, knowing that it wouldn’t work even if you tried.
The two of you sat down at the table slowly, your actions speeding up when you noticed the plate of cookies on the table. The two of you smiled at each other, cheeks full of the sweet treat as your mothers looked endearingly at you. At your age you didn’t stay sad or scared for long, making it easier for them to distract and protect you from reality.
---
The afternoon sun was beating down outside, giving out the last of its rays before it descended and the moon took over. You and Jaemin sat together, happily watching as the sky morphed into a painting of pinks and oranges.
‘I like the sky like this.’ You said, resting your tiring head on Jaemin’s shoulder.
‘Why?’ He questioned, hugging his knees with his hands.
‘Because it looks like something out of a fairy tale. Somewhere there are happy ever afters, and everyone gets one.’ You explained as Jaemin nodded in agreement. The both of you were too young to fully understand the depths of the words you uttered.
‘I can’t wait for a happy ever after.’ Jaemin admitted, putting his head on yours.
‘Me neither.’ You murmured, enjoying being near your best friend.
‘Jaemin!’ Jaemin’s mother’s voice drew both your attention away from the sky in front of you. ‘It’s time to go! Say goodbye, you can see each other again tomorrow.’
Jaemin turned back to face you, pulling you in for a quick hug.
‘Bye y/n. I’ll see you tomorrow?’ He asked.
‘Of course.’ You replied, smiling at him.
Jaemin stood up off the porch steps the two of you were sitting on, and walked off with his mum. He turned back to send you one last wave before he crossed the street. You waved back, watching until he disappeared from your sight. 
You couldn’t wait for your happy ever after.
---
But happy ever after took time.
You sat in your bedroom, your hands covering your ears as you buried your head in your duvet. You were doing everything you could think of to block out the noises but it wasn’t working. Your father’s drunk screams were echoing up to your room and your mother’s retaliations were just as noisy.
You whimpered as the words got more violent and vicious, the threats becoming more and more severe. It was when you heard a smack and a yelp of pain that you finally burst into tears.
You had never felt more useless in your life. The hopelessness washed over you in tidal waves as you tried as hard as you could to stop the tears. Nothing was working. 
Your sobs got louder with each one that escaped you, eventually becoming almost as deafening as your parent’s harsh words to each other. Your young body was shaking, partially from fear and partially from the force of your crying. 
The noise from the floor below you quietened, making you still slightly, your sobs turning into quiet cries as you listened.
You heard footsteps climbing the stairs, loud uneven footsteps that you knew were your father’s. You felt your heart start to race again, this time you knew it was in pure fear. A second pair chased up after him, much lighter and faster. That was your mother. 
Your father threw open your door, a sadistic smile on his face as he looked at your vulnerable form.
‘How pathetic.’ He mused. ‘Crying because you can’t handle a bit of loud noise.’
You whimpered again, attempting to pull your duvet up over you, as if it was a shield that could protect you.
He stalked towards you.
‘Get up.’ He spat. ‘Now.’
You were to afraid to argue, pushing your duvet down and standing on shaking legs. You wrapped your arms around you to defend yourself from the sudden chill of leaving the warmth of your bed.
You father managed one more step towards you before your mother reached your room.
‘No.’ She commanded, her voice full of an unusual authority. ‘You don’t hurt her.’
Your father turned around, almost amused by your mother’s words.
‘Hurt her? How would I do that?’
Your mother was clearly afraid and not enjoying the teasing looking on your father’s face.
‘Ohhhh.’ He said, realisation taking over his features. ‘You mean like this?’
He moved so quickly that you didn’t have time to react. He whirled his body around and lashed out with a punch. It was so fast and so powerful that it knocked you off your feet.
You hit the floor with a thud, banging the top of your head as you did so. You blinked a couple of times, trying to get the floor to stop spinning. You vaguely registered your mother trowing herself at your father, but he easily threw her off.
You were too out of it to hear his dangerous whisper.
‘You come at me like that again, and I’ll hit that child twice as hard.’
All you noticed was your mother stopping in her tracks, immediately giving up on protecting you. You watched her figure move away, not sparing you another glance.
Your father watched her go, his back to you, and you took your opportunity. You pushed yourself up off the floor, careful not to make a sound and crept towards your window. As you opened it slightly, you heard their conversation ending, you couldn’t quite hearing what they were saying, but you knew that you were out of time.
You finally got your window fully open and had half of your body out of it when you father turned around. 
His face changed into pure rage at the sight of you getting away and he ran towards the open window, making a lunge for you. You threw yourself backwards, trying to catch yourself on the tree outside but just missing.
You arms scrambled for random branches and objects to slow your fall and you landed harshly in the buses by your front door. They managed to soften your fall to an extent, leaving you still able to get up and run.
So you did.
You ran to the one place you knew you would always be safe.
You ran to Jaemin.
You didn’t spare a look behind you, not knowing that if you did, you would find out that you weren’t being followed and instead your father was simply watching you disappear from your bedroom window. He was never going to chase you.
Your breath escaped you in desperate pants as you forced your short legs to move faster. For a seven year old, the distance between yours and Jaemin’s house felt like a marathon, each step feeling as though it was taking you further away from him, rather than closer towards.
After what felt like a lifetime, you reached Jaemin’s front door, banging frantically on it. You couldn’t hear anything over the loud beating of your heart, so you nearly jumped out of your skin when the door opened to reveal Jaemin’s mother.
‘Y/n? Sweetheart, what’s wrong?’ She asked, her soothing voice making the tears well up in your eyes again.
You stuttered out a few syllables pointing wildly behind you, not managing to explain anything. Jaemin’s mother shushed you, pulling you close for a gentle hug. You buried your head into her shoulder and cried. You began to sob, fully breaking down onto her as the fear finally escaped you.
‘Mum?’ You heard Jaemin’s voice from further inside the house. ‘Mum, who’s that?’
His mother turned around, allowing you to see Jaemin through the mess of your tears. Even at such a young age, Jaemin was fiercely protective of you, rushing forwards to hug you himself.
‘Come on Jaemin, bring her inside.’ His mother instructed, her tone so refreshing gentle that it made you look up at to check that it was real.
Jaemin kept his hand tight in yours as he pulled you into the safety of his house. The two of you sat at the table while his mother made you some hot chocolate. Jaemin kept one hand on you at all time, not wanting you to feel alone, and wanting you to know that he was there. 
You didn’t tell them what happened, not really knowing how to describe the past minutes of your life. You didn’t understand the full extent of the previous events, but somehow, you knew that your life would never be the same again.
---
You lay in Jaemin’s bed trying to get some sleep, while he lay on a mattress on the floor. You could tell that he was worried about you, he wanted to know what had gone wrong and how he could help. But, for the first time in his young life, Jaemin was completely helpless. All he could do was watch as you had to face a harsh reality.
You rolled onto your side, looking down at your friend who was lying on their back. Jaemin opened his eyes and looked over at you, waiting for you to speak first.
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ You whispered.
Jaemin’s heart sank. He knew that he couldn’t make you talk about anything that you didn’t want to, but he also wanted to know what he could do to make things better.
‘That’s ok.’ He settled on that for a reply, not really knowing what else he could say.
You let out a deep breath, letting yourself finally relax after the long and difficult night you had tackled. Your eyes slowly shut and you listened to Jaemin’s breathing, matching yours with him. You let yourself whisper one final sentence, something lost in the darkness, only ever to be heard by the boy lying on the floor next to you.
‘Jaemin... I think I need to grow up.’
---
You arrived back home, finding the door unlocked waiting for you. You shut it behind you, listening for the click. You had never thought to do that before. You trudged into the kitchen, looking around, expressionless, at the sight in front of you. There were smashed bottles, glasses and belongings everywhere. Paintings had been torn off the walls and trashed, the coffee table by the TV had been thrown over and even the cushions on the sofa had been thrown about.
You knew that this was simply an argument of your parents’ that had gotten out of control. You knew you should probably react more, but you didn’t. You were going to grow up and accept it. You turned your line of sight to the dining table, where your father sat. You held eye contact for a second, neither of you saying a word as he finished the last of whatever was left in the whiskey he was drinking.
‘Can’t get into the back of the lower cupboards to get another.’ He stared you down while saying that.
Your young face didn’t change, you kept the same expressionless reaction on it as you crouched down and crawled into a cupboard. You pulled out the first bottle you saw, another whiskey that was half full and placed it on the table in front of your father.
‘Good girl.’ He said, nodding at you.
You made no attempt to reply in any way. Instead you turned on you heel and headed up the stairs. You paused in front of your room, listening to your mother’s sobs echoing from the other side of her closed bedroom door. You stood there for five seconds before moving inside your room and shutting the door behind you. You ignored it, knowing that it was your reality and you had to grow up and face that.
Then, you got ready for school. 
In the end you got your wish to grow up. But you grew up too fast, the maturity forced on you by the struggles and difficulties you faced, and the trauma that came with them. You learnt very quickly that you either grew up and learnt how to survive, or you suffocated in the hellish mess you call reality.
So you chose to survive.
Would you run away for me?
‘Come on y/n! I’m getting tired of waiting for you. It doesn’t take that long.’ Jaemin whined up at your window.
‘Easy for you to say. You’re not the one climbing out of your window!’ You huffed, careful to make sure that your foot doesn’t slip.
‘Well I offered to climb up but you thought that would be a bit too ‘Romeo and Juliet’, so who’s fault is it really that we’re in this situation?’ He bit back, provoking a large eye roll out of you as you finally reached the ground.
‘Roll your eyes any harder why don’t you.’ Jaemin teased and you stared at him blankly for a second, before rolling your eyes so hard that it almost physically hurt. ‘Alright I stand corrected.’ Your friend grumbled as you laughed and began to skip away.
It was 11pm and both you and Jaemin were supposed to be asleep. But, being the rebellious 14 year olds you were, you decided to go for a walk. Luckily for the two of you, it was summer holidays and your streets were very well lit, meaning that you weren’t really in any danger.
Over the summer holidays, you had found yourself doing this more and more often with Jaemin. Your situation at home hadn’t gotten better over the past seven years, instead spiralling as your mother turned to the influence of alcohol in order to try and find the comfort her husband no longer provided.
Your family consisted of two alcoholic parents, one abusive and the other apparently unaware of your presence, whereas Jaemin’s household included his mother and a father that was attempting to buy his way back into their life after walking out on them ten years earlier.
Jaemin seemed to be the only place that actually felt like home for you, and you didn’t know it, but he felt the same way about you. It was such a blessing for the two of you to have your home as a person rather than a place, considering what state the places were in at the moment, it was probably lifesaving - you just didn’t realise it.
Jaemin jogged ahead of you, climbing up onto a small wall and walking along it.
‘When do you think we’ll get happy ever after?’ He asked, grinning down at you.
‘Get what?’ You laughed.
‘Happy ever after!’ He repeated, yet you still stared at him with one eyebrow raised. ‘What?’ He asked, jumping down and walking closer to you.
‘Jaemin... I don’t really think there is a happy ever after.’ You admitted and his face fell into confusion.
‘What are you talking about? That was the whole goal. We’re gonna grow up together, move away from here and finally get a happy ever after. That was the plan y/n!’ Jaemin insisted, confusion evident on his face.
‘I know it was, but I just think that that’s not really in the cards for me anymore.’ You shrugged, not really thinking it that big of a deal. Jaemin seemed to think otherwise.
‘What? Y/n, I don’t understand where is this coming from? Of course it’s in the cards for you! Do you not remember everything we talked about when we were kids? We used to love to play hero because at the end of it, we always got that happy ever after.’ Jaemin’s voice was turning sad, his face dropping.
‘Come on Jaemin.’ You laughed. ‘There was a reason that was all imaginary. We used to wish for when we could grow up but we had no idea what that really meant. It means letting go of those childish fantasies and facing reality. And reality is, happy ever after doesn’t come to everyone. I don’t want to spend my life chasing something that isn’t even real.’ You said the words casually, almost jokingly as you laughed through it, but they held much deeper meaning that Jaemin seemed to catch on to.
How could you believe in happy ever after when you’ve never seen it?
He nodded, sending you a smile that didn’t reach his eyes before grabbing you by the hand and pulling you into the park. 
‘Race you to the swings?’ He challenged.
‘You’re on!’
---
Anything. You really would do anything for Jaemin. When you said he meant the world to you, you were understating it. You only said that because it was the closest description to how you felt. So when the two of you walked into his home late next afternoon to find his father sitting at the table with an innocent smile, you were prepared to do anything Jaemin needed you to.
‘Evening son!’ His father greeted him happily.
‘Don’t call me that.’ Jaemin spat, his eyes hard. ‘How did you even get in?’
‘Your mother let me in, son.’ Jaemin’s father explained. ‘I-’
‘Don’t call me son.’ Jaemin interrupted, his voice threatening calm but his eyes were wild with fury.
His father took a breath before continuing. ‘I wanted to talk to you.’
‘Great, good talk. We’re going.’ Jaemin grabbed your hand again and heading towards the stairs.
‘We need to talk son.’ His father repeated.
Jaemin visibly tensed.
‘Don’t call me son...’ He spoke through gritted teeth, his voice not so calm anymore.
His father persisted. ‘Your mother and I have been having conversations and, with her new job, we both agreed that it is best that I move back here for the time being so that there’s someone to take care of you.’
Jaemin didn’t reply to that, his face a picture of rage, disbelief and desperation. You could tell that this was the absolute last thing he wanted to happen. His father’s choice to continue speaking did nothing to calm the storm that was brewing in his mind.
‘Now I know that this is going to take some getting used to, but son-’
‘Do not call me son!’ Jaemin whirled around on his father, the shout erupting from his throat. ‘You don’t get to call me son until you’ve acted like a father! You’re nothing but a coward and I want nothing to do with someone like you!’
With that he walked back towards the front door, opening it and walking out. His grip on you hand never loosened, effectively bringing you with him and you just managed to grab the door handle and pull it shut behind you.
You let Jaemin walk for a bit, just following him as he paced around the town. After a couple of minutes of tense silence, you found yourselves back in the park you were in last night. You opened your mouth to speak, but Jaemin got there first.
‘We should go.’ 
Your head whipped around, staring at the boy in front of you in confusion.
‘Go?’ You asked, watching as he turned back to you.
‘Yeah. We always talked about leaving, let’s do it. Now.’ You could see in his eyes that he was being 100% serious, and it honestly made you nervous.
‘Jaemin... we can’t just leave.’ You told him, keeping your voice soft.
‘Why not? We can make it. We just stay together, find somewhere where no one knows who we are or what’s happened to us. Everyone in this town known too damn much about each other. I want to be known as something more than just the boy who’s dad didn’t even want him.’ Jaemin insisted, the raw honestly in his sentences were making your eyes sting slightly. You loved him so much and wanted him to be happy and safe, but you knew that you couldn’t run away, not yet.
‘Jaem, I don’t... We can’t just leave. We just 14... How would we leave? Where would we go? How could we survive with just the two of us? I just don’t think that this is the right time for us to run away. But, trust me when I say, we will leave. We will get out of here, I promise.’
‘The same way you promised we would always get a happy ever after?’
Jaemin wasn’t looking at you anymore, instead he was looking at the gradually changing sky, the way he always did when he had a lot going on in his mind. You bit your lip, the words he spoke hitting you as hard as knives. You meant what you had said yesterday, but you wished you had stopped to think about how it would affect Jaemin if you had said it. 
‘Do you wanna stay at mine tonight?’ You asked him, moving your hand out of his and resting it on his bicep, doing the same with your other. He looked up at you before closing his eyes and nodding.
You smiled sadly at him before moving your arms further upwards and wrapping them around his neck. You pulled his into a tight hug, relieved when he began to hug you back. He held you as close as he could and buried his head into your neck. You could hear his soft sniffles and your heart clenched at the realisation that he was quietly crying.
‘I just wish... I just wish he would let us be happy without him. Mum was doing so well...’ His voice trailed off and you said nothing, just gently stroking his hair while allowing him to say as much or as littler as he wanted.
‘Can we go?’ He whispered and you nodded, gently pulling away.
You held you hand back out for him, which he gladly took, and began the short walk back to yours.
---
Jaemin had spent every night of the past week and a half at yours. His mum worked night shifts at her job so she wasn’t around to see that her son wasn’t at home either. You never minded as your parents took no notice of you so it was nice to finally have some company.
You were sat in the living room together, watching a film on the tv in front of you. Earlier that day you had gone to the shops to pick up snacks and the table in front of you was littered with food. There was a big bowl of popcorn, along with crisps and food and, not to mention, drinks.
You were laughing at a comment Jaemin had made about one of the characters when the front door burst open. You both jumped at the noise and Jaemin immediately paused what was on TV. You stayed quiet, wondering who was coming home at this hour. You knew your mum was also working a night shift and you assumed that you father was working late, but you were soon proved wrong.
You father stumbled through the door, almost slipping on the wall as he tried to steady himself. You shot to your feet, Jaemin following you. In the past few years you had gained the courage to tell Jaemin the truth about the bruises he kept finding on your body, and he knew that if your father was a drunk as he appeared, things were likely to get violent.
Instead your father broke out into a smile, turning around to look at something behind him and laughing. You and Jaemin shared a confused look before you moved closer to the open doorway, hoping to get a look at what he was laughing at. 
What you saw made your entire body tense up with anger.
Jaemin came around behind you and, when he saw the same sight the greeted you, immediately placed a comforting hand on your shoulder.
Your father was standing in the hall way, making out with a woman who was most definitely not your mother. You watched as he pulled away from her, accepting her hand to bring him upstairs. You watched them disappear at the top of the stairs, turning the corner towards the room that he shared with your mother every night, and heard the door shut.
You didn’t move, filled with so many different emotions that you didn’t know what to feel. Jaemin gently held you by the shoulders, guiding you to sit down on the couch. He sat on the coffee table in front of you, clearing a small space before looking at you. He kept his hands on either side of your face, pushing your hair out of your eyes and wanting you to look at him. The dazed, unfocused look on your face was beginning to worry him.
‘Y/n? Y/n it’s gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay, you’ve survived worse than this and I know that you’re going to be okay. Okay? Please just look at me?’ Jaemin begged you.
You focused your eyes on him, one emotion in particular drowning out all the others. Anger.
‘After everything he’s put my mum through, all the pain, all the trauma, and it’s still not enough for him.’ You breathed out, trying so hard to keep yourself calm. ‘Is there anything left for him to do? Any pain he hasn’t put her through?’
You turned and stared at Jaemin expectantly but he just looked back at you, completely at a loss of what to say.
‘I don’t know how much more of this she can take...’ Your voice dropped to a whisper, fear taking over your body.
‘Oh y/n...’ Jaemin moved so that he was sat next to you instead. He wrapped you up in his arms and whispered comforting words into you hair. But you didn’t hear any of them. You lay in his embrace, staring at the food on the table that made you feel sick from the sight of it. ‘Let’s go to mine yeah?’ He suggested, causing you to shoot up and shake your head.
‘No, Jaemin, that means staying in the same house as your dad.’ You objected, not wanting to go back on the only thing you could for him - provide a safe space.
‘Better than staying here.’ Jaemin reasoned.
You opened your mouth to argue but a small bang and squeak echoed through the floor boards above you and made your skin crawl. You scrunched up your face in displeasure and nodded at the boy next to you. He quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the door.
---
You crawled into the mattress on Jaemin’s floor that was set up for you, ready for this day to be over. Jaemin gently made his way around you to climb into his bed. He argued for about 25 minutes about you sleeping on the floor, but you insisted.
He switched off the light and you both lay in silence. You shut your eyes, hoping that would let sleep take over you, but your mind was far to awake to let your body rest.
You began to think about Jaemin’s offer to run away, and how sweet and simple it seemed. Just pack a bag, grab your best friend, and leave this god forsake town behind. Jaemin was right, everyone here knew too much about each other. The whispers on the streets about your father’s drinking, or the bruises on your arms haunted you as you attempted to live your life.
You thought about what it would be like one day. Just you and Jaemin, somewhere completely new, where you could have just him by your side, and always feel safe. Because Jaemin made you feel safe. A place where you wouldn’t have to worry about being afraid of your father. A place where Jaemin didn’t have to worry about his mother or be on his constant guard around his father. You didn’t know where you were going to go, but you knew two things about it. One, it would be a place of peace, where tranquility is in the air. And two, Jaemin would be there. Whenever you thought about your future, in any means, Jaemin was always there. You weren’t ever prepared to lose him.
You opened your eyes again, and spoke quietly.
‘Jaemin?’
‘Yeah?’ He replied, not moving from his current position.
‘I meant what I said last week you know?’ You said.
‘Huh?’ Jaemin opened his eyes, rolling onto his side so that he was looking at you.
‘About our happy ending.’ Jaemin raised an eyebrow at your statement. ‘We will leave here someday. And, wherever we go, we’re gonna be together. I promise you.’ You reassured him.
Jaemin didn’t reply, instead he simply moved over, opening the covers for you in a silent invitation. You immediately took it, climbing out of your covers and crawling into his embrace. He wrapped an arm tight around you and placed a gentle kiss to your forehead.
‘Promise me something else?’ He asked, his voice just above a whisper and shaking slightly.
‘Anything.’ You whispered back.
‘No matter what happens, you’ll always love me and... when the time comes, you’ll forgive me.’ Your heart clenched at his quiet words.
‘Forgive you? Jaemin what do you-’
‘Just promise me. Please.’ Jaemin cut you off, holding you tighter by the second, waiting for your reply.
‘I promise.’
---
Jaemin walked the route that had become scarily familiar to him in the past few weeks. In the times when he couldn’t see you, he found himself drifting here. He wasn’t sure what kept bringing him to this place, maybe it was the fact that it was only area where he really felt alone. To be honest, he felt alone every day, but at least up here, he really was alone, no one was around for miles.
He’d mentioned it to you in the past at some point, but he doubted you remembered.
Jaemin reached the same place he always did and turned towards the view. He climbed over the barrier and sat himself on the edge.
The bridge he was sitting on towered above a river, one that was twisting and turning with the harsh current that tore through it. Every time he came here, Jaemin told himself it was just for the view, but he knew that that wasn’t the reason he always climbed through the safety barrier and onto the shaky beams.
He knew that the view wasn’t the reason he always looked down at the river, finding it more and more inviting with every trip here he made.
Jaemin reached into the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing and pulled out his phone. He switched it on and was immediately greeted with a photo of the two of you. He smiled subconsciously at the sight of your smiling face.
God he was going to miss you.
But he had faith that you would be okay. You were the strongest person Jaemin knew, you could come back from anything. It wasn’t like he was much to miss anyway.
He opened his contacts and scrolled down until he found your name listed. He pressed on the number and lifted the phone to his cheek, taking a shaky breath to calm his nerves.
You picked up on the third ring.
‘Jaemin!’ he smiled at the sound of your cheerful voice, admiring how you could sound so happy when he knew how deeply you were hurting. ‘Where are we meeting today?’
‘Actually y/n-’ Jaemin cut himself off, having to take another breath to stop himself from breaking down entirely. ‘Actually y/n I think I’m gonna be a little late today.’
‘That’s okay. Why though? You’re not secretly making new friends are you?’ Your joking tone didn’t quite reach him this time.
‘Of course not, you know you’re my favourite.’ He admitted, the words truer than they had ever been before.
‘Good, because I’m not letting you pick someone else over me.’ God he loved hearing your voice, he needed this phone call but it was also making this so much harder.
‘Y/n, there’s a reason I’m going to be late today.’ Jaemin began, listening to how you hummed along to show that you were paying attention. ‘On the shelf at the top of your wardrobe there’s a box.’
‘Yeah I know.’ You cut in laughing. ‘It’s a box of our childhood memories, I made it Jaemin.’
‘I know.’ Jaemin whispered, the first tear making it’s way down his cheek. ‘But I put something else in there. Can you grab it for me.’
He heard you mutter out a response and waited patiently for your next reply.
‘Ok I found it! It’s a letter right.’ You asked, missing the pause from Jaemin that lasted just a second to long.
‘Yes. I need you to read it.’ Jaemin instructed.
‘Ok I’ll do that. By the way, how late do you think you’re going to be?’ You asked casually, not realising the importance and weight of the letter that you held in your hand.
‘I honestly don’t know y/n. I might not make it back home tonight at all.’ Jaemin heard your laughs stop slightly and your voice cut back through.
‘Not make it home? Jaemin where are you?’ He heard a chuckle in your voice but could tell that this one was far from genuine.
‘Just somewhere I come to think.’ He muttered. ‘Y/n do you remember the promise you made to me that night at my house a couple of weeks ago?’
‘Yeah.’ Your voice was small, fear starting to come through.
‘Good. I need you to keep that promise in mind when you read that letter okay?’ Jaemin’s voice was almost breaking, the tears falling down both cheeks.
‘Jaemin, what’s going on?’ Now he could really hear the panic in your voice. Jaemin knew that if he stayed on the call any longer, he would never be able to hang up.
‘Read the letter y/n. And never forget, I love you.’
---
You threw your phone at the wall in panic, your breath getting caught in your lungs as the letter stared at you from where it sat on your bed. You ran up to it, tearing it open and began to read as fast as you could, tears clouding your vision as you prayed that you had read the situation wrong.
My dearest y/n,
It’s strangely poetic isn’t it? The first letter I ever write to you is probably going to also be my last. I’ve always liked symbolism like that. But of course, you know that, you know everything about me.
I suppose I should start with the most difficult but also the most important part, the apology. Y/n, I’m so sorry that I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry that I’m leaving you alone. I’m so sorry that I’m not as strong as you are, but I’m just not, and I really can’t take this for much longer. It hurts. Everyday physically hurts and I don’t know how else to stop this pain.
I don’t want you to blame yourself. If you did I would never be able to forgive myself. You’re the reason that I’ve lived as long as I have and I can honestly say that, without you by my side, this would have happened a long time ago. You are the best thing that has ever and could ever have happened to me, and I am eternally grateful that I got to have you in my life.
This isn’t me dying, nor is it me giving up. This is me simply choosing a better life, a life that I can actually manage living and a life that feels worth living. I want you to know that I’m not scared so there’s no need to worry about me. Once I’m out of this place, I’ll be okay. My biggest regret, my only regret, is the fact that I have to leave you behind.
Please keep fighting for me. I know that one day you can make it out of this hellhole and escape the ghosts that haunt us both daily.
And I want you to get your happy every after. You deserve it.
All my heavenly love,
Yours forever,
Jaemin
You hugged the paper to your chest, the tears falling down your face unstoppably. You needed to find him, but the problem was, you had no idea where he was. You thought back to what he said. Somewhere he goes to think...
Your head shot up as you bolted out of your door. You only had one place in mind, and it was a long shot, but you would hate yourself forever if you didn’t at least try.
---
Jaemin stared at the phone in his hands, turning it over and over, contemplating the choices he’s made that led him to this position. He sighed and prepared himself for what’s to come. Instead of putting his phone back in his pocket, he placed it on the tarmac behind him before removing his necklace and gently laying it on top. After all of this, he wanted you to have a memory of him.
He stood up, watching the dark waves beneath him and whispered a few words lost in the winds.
‘Goodbye y/n.’
He ignored the sounds behind him and let go of the beam, preparing himself to fall towards to cold water below that was calling out to him like an icy abyss.
Until two hands grabbed his sweater by the shoulders and pulled him back.
He stumbled backwards, tripping on the safety rail as he was pulled back to the tarmac. He began to struggle, wresting his way out of the person’s grip and trying to make his way back to the edge. It took him a few seconds before the voice that was desperately screaming his name.
‘Jaemin!’ He whirled around and found himself staring into your teary eyes.
‘Y/n?’ He questioned, his voice breaking halfway through.
‘Oh thank god!’ You sobbed, throwing yourself onto him and wrapping him up in the tightest hug possible. ‘You’re alive, thank god you’re alive.’
Jaemin didn’t know how to react, his instincts kicked in and he held you by your waist but didn’t say a word, instead just listening to you cry into his shoulder.
You pulled away, only to whack him, hard, on the shoulder.
‘Ow!’ He yelped.
‘Fucking serves you right you dick!’ You shouted. ‘Why would you do that to me?’
‘How did you find me?’ Jaemin stuttered out.
‘I listen to you, that’s how. You told me that this is where you come to think, so I ran.’ You explained, the tears still pouring down your face.
Only then did Jaemin stop for a minute to take in your appearance. Your hair was disheveled, your cheeks red and your chest was heaving. You were clearly exhausted. He forced himself to look at your face, and when he did, he felt his heart break. Tears stained your cheeks, both fresh and dried and your eyes held more pain than Jaemin had ever seen before.
‘Why did you stop me?’ The broken whisper came out of the boy before he could stop it.
‘Because I can’t lose you, I can’t survive without you. If you were to die, I wouldn’t be able to come back from that.’ You admitted to him, moving close to him again.
Jaemin looked into your teary eyes as emotions of his own started to bubble up. He pulled you properly onto his lap, and held you close by your waist, burying his head into your shoulder as he began to cry. You wrapped yourself around him completely, hiding your face in his neck as well and stroking his hair.
‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’ Jaemin hiccuped through sobs, trying to hold you closer even though it wasn’t possible.
You just shook your head, tightening your own arms as you both sat there, two broken teenagers crying into each other on the side of a bridge.
‘Jaemin...’ You began, waiting for his reply before continuing.
‘Yeah?’ He whimpered.
‘I need you to promise me something.’ You said and felt him nod into your shoulder. ‘Anytime, and I mean anytime, you ever feel like doing something like this to yourself again, come to me. Please just come to me and I’ll sit with you and talk with you for as long as you want or need. I can’t stand the thought of losing you.’ Your voice began to break again at the end of your confession, causing Jaemin to pull his head out of your shoulder and look you directly in your eyes.
‘I promise.’ He uttered. And he meant it, he really would. After seeing how affected you were, he knew he could never do anything like this to you again.
You leaned forward, pressing your forehead to his as you whispered the sentence that became his motivation to survive.
‘Jaemin... there’s no happy ever after for me if you’re not there.’
Would you run away from me?
Jaemin stuck to his word, always coming to you anytime he felt feelings similar to the ones that drew him out to that bridge. You didn’t mind, you were often glad to wake up to a call from him at 2am because it meant that a situation like that wouldn’t happen again. You were sure you could survive it if it did.
Three years later and life wasn’t any better. The 14 year old kids who found shelter in a playground were gone and replace with 17 year old teenagers, who were looking for an escape anywhere they could find it. 
Last month, Jaemin’s mother passed away. It was quite possibly the worst thing that could have happened to the two of you, as Jaemin’s mother was pretty much the only figure in your lives who was even slightly paternal. She was the positivity that you both needed, and without her, the two of you were feeling very lost.
Jaemin was now stuck with his father who, now that his mother wasn’t around to make an impression on, had turned back into the cruel, careless man who ran out on the boy all those years ago. As for you, your mother had found out about your father’s cheating. And it turns out, it wasn’t the first time he had done that. He refused to give your mother the freedom she so desperately wanted, so she searched for it somewhere else. You had walked into your house one day, only to walk in on your mother doing Cocain off the kitchen table, trying to find the release that was now only available in drugs.
She had become an empty shell of herself and you often found her drugs lying around the house. Normally you just ignored them, but for some reason, when you found a small bag of Ecstasy in your bathroom, you kept it. You didn’t know why, but it was always there when you reached into your pocket.
You were getting ready to go out with Jaemin, the two of you heading to a party close by. You pulled on your jacket and headed towards your door. You turned back, doing a quick scan of the room to make sure you hadn’t forgotten anything and your eyes landed on the small bag of Ecstasy that was currently lying on your bedside table. After a short deliberation you walked back into your room, swiped it off the counter, and headed out to your party. What’s the worst that could happen?
---
You and Jaemin laughed as the music deafened you. You were drunk beyond the point of no return, and you knew that you wouldn’t be remembering any of this in the morning. The music turned from a heavy beat drop EDM track, to a slightly more sensual number and you, in your drunken state, had no control over your instincts. You pulled Jaemin closer by the neck and wrapped your arms around him. You registered the familiar feeling of his arms snaking their way around your waist and you sank into him more. He moved his head to your neck and nipped gently at the skin there.
You were too wrapped up in the music and being close to each other to notice anyone else around you. You lifted your head off his chest and looked at him. He followed your actions and soon you found yourself staring into Jaemin’s brown orbs, completely mesmerised by the colour in front of you. His hot breath was fanning your face and you found yourself subconsciously leaning in.
‘Yo!’ A random guy yelled, approaching the two of you. You leaned away from Jaemin and turned to the guy who appeared out of no where. ‘Don’t mean to interrupt bro, but do either of you want some Molly? We got masses spare and it’s going out for free to anyone here.’ He held out a bag with some pills in it.
You stared into it, licking you lips at the thought of being even more out of it than you already were.
‘Go on baby, you know you want to’ The unnamed guy in front of encouraged.
You were too far gone to comment on the pet name that, if you were sober would have made your skin crawl, and instead reached into the bag and pulled one out. You surveyed it in your fingers and made eye contact with Jaemin. He stared at you for a second before pulling out one of his own.
He reached forward, nodding at you and you opened your mouth, sticking out your tongue slightly. Jaemin placed his pill on his before repeating the actions himself, allowing you to give him your pill. You both swallowed and fell back into each other’s embrace.
You weren’t sure what you and Jaemin were anymore. He was still the one person you felt safe around, the one person that you wanted in your future, but he had also become so much more than your best friend. Nothing had ever gone further than a few drunk kisses and you never had the courage to ask him what they meant the next morning. All you knew, was that you thought of him as more and... the drug was really starting to take effect.
The surroundings faded into an almost blur, yet the colours became much more vibrant at the same time. The only thing that was fully in focus was Jaemin’s face in front of you, more importantly, his lips. You found it hard enough to stop yourself staring at them when you were sober, meaning it was twenty times harder when you were this far gone.
You didn’t waste any time, choosing to immediately move towards him, pressing your lips onto his. He quickly responded, kissing you back. The alcohol and cigarettes you had shared throughout the night were the only thing you could taste, yet, somehow, you could still taste Jaemin.
There was still so much of him in the kiss that you needed more and more of it. You could feel Jaemin thinking the same thing, his kisses getting more and more desperate, before he broke away and leaned down to your ear.
‘Shall we get out of here?’ He asked over the music.
Instead of straining your voice by replying, you nodded, a grin taking over your face. Jaemin slipped his hand into yours and began to pull you out of the warehouse. You made your way outside, stumbling slightly on the stairs before you were blinded by red and blue lights.
‘Shit.’ Jaemin murmured, pulling you out of sight of the police car heading towards the front entrance.
‘Seems like we got out just in time.’ You slurred slightly and Jaemin nodded in agreement. The two of you ran down a side passage before being greeted with the metal fence that would give you a short cut back home.
Jaemin climbed up first, offering a hand for you which you gladly took and helping you over. You landed safely on the other side and began to walk off, laughing at the close call. If you were more sober than you would have begun to feel bad for all those still stuck in the warehouse, most of them definitely being charged with drug possession, but right now you couldn’t bring yourself to focus on anything but you and Jaemin.
‘Y/n, I don’t think we should do anything when we get back.’ Jaemin blurted out of the blue.
‘Why not? It’s just fun isn’t it.’ You shrugged.
‘But if anything else happens between us, I’d prefer us to remember it.’ Jaemin said, his words serious but the drugs in his system forcing a laugh out of him.
‘I’m always gonna remember you...’ You whined, leaning in to him more.
‘Y/n we should have control over what we’re doing and saying. Sober consent is needed you know?’ Jaemin couldn’t stop himself from laughing now, causing you to start as well.
‘No, you’re right.’ You giggled, trying to calm yourself down. ‘It’s not a good idea. Don’t want to ruin our happy ever after.’ You nudged him.
Jaemin scoffed, rolling his eyes at that.
‘Happy ever after? Really? Come on y/n I thought we were beyond that.’ He looked down at you, suddenly making you feel very small.
The drugs and alcohol in your system were making your adrenaline pump, giving you a major confidence boost, something that you assume was also happening to Jaemin right now.
‘Now you don’t believe in it? Now it’s not okay to want that? What about when I didn’t want that? No, if one of us believes in it so does the other.’ You stood your ground, staring back at the boy in front of you.
‘Grow up.’ Jaemin spat, making you visibly flinch at the tone he used on you. ‘We’re not children anymore, happy ever after isn’t found in a town like this.’
‘God you don’t have to be a pessimist all the time, you used to be so positive.’ You muttered, venom lacing your words.
‘Positive? Neither of us have ever been positive or happy in our entire lives! Do you know why y/n? Because our lives suck. Maybe happy ever after doesn’t exist. Or at least, maybe it does for some, but for others, like us, maybe it’s just the thing that we read in stories, something for us to dream about. Something to distract us from the reality of what really happens. Where things just end. You don’t always get that moment, that final showdown, the big turning point where you realise how to fix everything and its all gonna be okay. Sometimes things can’t be fixed. Sometimes things aren’t going to be okay. Sometimes life just ends.’ Jaemin was full on yelling at you by the time he finished his speech.
His final words hit you like a ton of bricks, sobering you up quickly. You were still very drunk, but your mind was clear enough to read between the lines and realise that he was talking about his mum. You stepped forwards gently, placing a light hand on his shoulder.
‘Jaemin-’
‘Get off me!’ He bellow, throwing you hand off him with such force that you stumbled to the ground. Your body was still foggy, causing you to hit the floor with a much harder impact than you normally would have.
You lifted your head off and stared at Jaemin who was looking at you, an expression of pure horror on his face.
‘Y/n-’ He slurred but you scrambled away from him.
‘Stay away from me!’ You shouted, your voice cracking as the tears easily fell down your face. You felt like the same 7 year old girl who took her first hit from her father. ‘Don’t step any closer.’
Jaemin put his hands up in surrender, his face and voice pleading.
‘Y/n, please, I didn’t mean it, I would never hurt you. You have to believe me.’ He was begging you, almost on his knees.
You stared down at him, the boy you loved in more ways than one. The boy who had always made you feel safe. But right now, he didn’t make you feel any of those things. You felt as though you didn’t know him at all.
You turned on your hell and ran. You left Jaemin standing alone in the dark and ran the full way home. You burst in through your front door, ignoring the yell from your father about disrespecting his privacy and headed straight up to your room. You shut the door behind you and fell onto your bed.
You sat straight up again, the drugs taking over your system and pumping you with adrenaline. There was just one problem, it wasn’t enough. Your hands fumbled in your pocket and brought out the little clear bag with your mother’s pills in them. You popped some more in your mouth, relishing in the alien feeling of happiness that it brought to you.
You watched as the bag started to swirl around, the colours dancing in front of your eyes. Time seemed to fade out of existence and you felt yourself completely disassociate with the world around you.
You stood up, hoping to go to the bathroom but as you attempted to move you found your mind incredibly foggy. You shook your head, attempting to get rid of it, but it persisted. This wasn’t the same, slightly unaware fo your surroundings foggy that you had felt in the warehouse, but instead an, everything around you is fading out of existence kind of foggy, and it was staring to scare you. A sudden chill violent shook you, making you whole body tremble where you stood.
You felt yourself begin to sweat and you pulled at the top that you were wearing. The collar seemed to be getting tighter as the room and floor began to spin. You clawed at your chest as you reached the door to your bathroom, falling over in front of it.
You felt hands on your shoulders and you flinched away in fear, until your brain registered who they belonged to and you slumped into Jaemin. He kicked open the bathroom door and pulled you in after him, sitting you against the bathtub and getting you a glass of water. He pushed the cup to your lips but you flinched away, the thought of drinking any water making you feel physically ill, yet Jaemin didn’t let up.
He eventually got a small amount of water down your throat, and you realised just how parched you were. You grabbed the cup out of his hands and began to gulp at the cold liquid. You pulled at your top again, crying out in frustration when it didn’t tear off you. Jaemin noticed your struggle and grabbed the hem on it, gently pulling it over your head. He had only got it halfway off when your arms took over, aggressively ripping it off. You took heavy breaths as Jaemin fetched you another glass of water.
You sat on the cold floor of that bathroom for who knows how many hours, drinking water, crying and clawing at the aching parts of your body. By the time you eventually started coming back around, you could see Jaemin’s fingers uncontrollably tapping anywhere they could reach. He was still on the come down from his high, yet refused to leave your side.
You reached out a feeble hand to him, and he quickly pulled himself close, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and resting your head on his chest.
‘I’m so sorry.’ He whispered to you. ‘If I hadn’t overreacted then you wouldn’t be in this position.’ He placed a kiss on the top of your head, making any previous fears you had had about him evaporate. You knew that you had your old Jaemin back, the one who would do anything to protect you.
‘It was the drugs, not you.’ You croaked out. ‘But promise me something?’
‘Anything.’ Jaemin replied, his fingers finding their way into your hair to run through it soothingly.
‘Neither of us do drugs again.’ You let out a hoarse chuckle.
‘Deal.’ He said with absolute certainty in his voice. He leaned down again, giving you another kiss on the top of your head.
‘Jaemin?’ You whimpered.
‘Yeah?’ He responded.
‘I don’t know how to be happy, how am I ever going to get a happy ever after?’ You asked him, the question spilling out of your exhausted state before you passed out in his arms.
Jaemin was almost thankful that you had passed out immediately after asking that because, for the first time in his life, Jaemin didn’t know how to reply.
---
It had been three days since your encounter with drugs, and Jaemin hadn’t left your side. You were so thankful that he hadn’t however, as the constant drug use in your house done by your mother, was making it difficult for you to go about your everyday life without having flashbacks to that night. That was the worst you had felt, physically, in a very long time.
Jaemin had gone through your entire room and bathroom with you, gutting the areas of any alcohol and drugs. He also removed any substances or objects that can be used against yourself, making sure that he could protect you as best as possible. You knew that without him, you would never have had the strength to do any of this.
Even though he had seriously scared you on that night, every time you looked at him you saw the person he truly was, not who the drugs had made him become. You knew that that night you had seen the worst side of Jaemin, the side of him that he kept locked in a cage so tightly, he hoped he would never let it free. But when under the influence, he hadn’t had control and the anger inside him had reared it’s head.
He wasn’t perfect. He was far from perfect. He was sad and angry and, by every definition of the word, he was broken. But he was yours. He always had been yours. You had seen him through the absolute best and the complete and utter worst. And he had seen you through yours. You had seen him when his father walked back into his life without warning, the look of betrayal that took over his features as he stared at the man in front of him. He had seen you when your father first hit you, the fear in your eyes and the bruises on your body, you didn’t trust anyone else with them. You had seen him when he tried to end his life, the utter pain and heartbreak in his eyes when he told you he couldn’t handle it anymore. And he had seen you three days ago, shivering and crying on the floor while you tried desperately to hold onto yours.
It wasn’t romantic. Nothing about what the two of you had gone through screamed romance. It was hell, pure unedited hell, but somehow, somewhere along the way, you fell hard for your best friend.
He was safety, warmth, home and hope and rolled into one. If there was anything that you had learnt so far in life, it’s that as long as you had Jaemin, you could handle anything.
---
You walked towards the park, listening as the swings slightly creaked in the breeze.
‘You know if we’d come here a couple of hours later this would be a horror movie in the making.’ Jaemin’s sudden voice from behind you made you jump.
You turned around to look at him, a smile on your face.
‘So this isn’t you coming to murder me? God don’t get my hopes up.’ You joked, watching as you got a smile in return and he moved towards you. You both sat down on the swings next to each other, sitting in silence for a moment.
‘How are you feeling?’ Jaemin asked, concern clear on his face.
‘Better.’ You replied honestly, sending him a reassuring smile. ‘How are you doing? Your dad still being a pain?’
‘Yeah.’ Jaemin sighed. ‘He’s a nightmare, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.’
‘I’m proud of you.’ You told him, your voice quietening as if it was a confession.
‘I know.’ Jaemin smiled. ‘I’m proud of you too.’
‘I know.’ You whispered, blinking away the tears that were threatening to gather at this moment. You knew he was proud of you, but actually hearing someone say the words out loud reached your heart. ‘Jaemin, we’re still getting out of here right?’
‘Of course. Just me and you.’ Jaemin nodded.
‘Somewhere no one knows us.’ You found yourself say the same wishes that the two of you had been making consistently throughout the years.
‘Where we can start fresh.’ Jaemin murmured, watching the clouds pass.
‘Somewhere we can be more than this place allowed us to be.’ You closed your eyes wistfully, thinking of this paradise.
‘Somewhere we can be together.’ You opened your eyes at Jaemin’s words, only to find him already looking at you.
‘Somewhere we can be together.’ You repeated, your body taking over your mind as you began to stand.
Jaemin followed your actions, lifting himself off the swing he was perched on. He moved towards you, reaching out with an arm and you stepped closer to him. 
He pulled you in, one arm around your waist and the other cupping your face and he looked down at you. You fit so perfectly in his arms, as if you were made to be there. Jaemin’s eyes glanced down at your lips, and you nodded slightly, giving him permission.
Jaemin leant down, pausing for half a second before finally closing the gap. He pressed his lips to yours, kissing you with all the love he had in his body. You kissed him back, desperately hoping to convey your feelings for him through the kiss. You pressed your body into him, feeling Jaemin’s arm wrap further around your waist in response
You broke away slowly, keeping your faces close as you both gently caught your breath. Your eyes opened, looking up into the brown ones that had always brought you comfort. You found Jaemin looking down at you, with so much love on his face that it made you shy. 
You couldn’t stop the smile that broke out on your face, the feeling of happiness that you had been deprived of your entire life, finally taking over your being and filling you to the brim.
You leant back into Jaemin, wanting more of this feeling that only he could provide. He was more addicting than any drug you’d ever taken and more intoxicating than any alcohol you’d ever consumed. You were completely and utterly addicted to the feeling of being loved and being in love.
Would you run away with me?
Three years later, and the two of you have fulfilled your promise and said goodbye to the town you grew up in. You felt freer than you had ever felt before in your entire life, and you never wanted to lose that feeling. The ghosts that had haunted you everyday were now nowhere to be found, allowing both you and Jaemin to start a completely new chapter together.
A couple of months after the death of Jaemin’s mother, lawyers came knocking at his door. They claimed to have her last will and testimony, something that Jaemin’s father didn’t know existed. It turns out that all her assets were left to Jaemin, and since Jaemin was now an adult it meant that he got everything. He ended up having the house, the car and a couple of shares that his mother had stored away. This angered Jaemin’s father immensely, but at the end of the day there was nothing he could do.
It finally seemed as though Jaemin’s troubles had a solution. His father had never gained any legal rights to Jaemin after relinquishing them when he left, so there was nothing the man could do to try and stay in his life and gain any access to the assets.
He was gone by the next morning.
A much happier Jaemin appeared at your door, immediately pulling you in for a hug when he told you the news. You couldn’t believe it. For the first time, things started to actually go your way. Then, Jaemin told you of his plan, it was only thanks to this plan of his that you were ever able to actually get away.
He put the house up for sale and cashed in the shares. The money he would gain from both of these gave you the chance to find a place for the two of you to live. You decided that, as soon as the house sold, you would get in the car and go.
The two of you searched and searched for the area you would move to, wanting to find the right place and, after a while, you stumbled upon it. An apartment just on the edge of the city. Close enough that it would easy to get in for any job you managed to get, yet far enough out that you still felt the privacy of it just being the two of you.
You started looking for jobs in the city, managing to find an opening at a large company. You quickly interviewed for them and were waiting to hear back from them. Jaemin was overjoyed with this news, it looked as though nothing could go wrong.
Then your mother passed away.
It was ruled as an overdose, the copious amounts that she was taking eventually became too much for her. Your father was in charge of organising her funeral, but he did nothing. It ultimately fell to you, and with Jaemin’s help, there was a small ceremony to lay her to rest. You knew you should probably feel worse about it than you did, but over the past ten years you had drifted so far away from her, that it felt as though you were burying a stranger.
Arriving back home after the funeral felt strange. Even though you felt nothing for your mother, you were still glad that you went. However, instead of mourning her death like everyone else there, you mourned the woman who was lost in the haze of drugs and abuse. You mourned the woman who used to sing you to sleep or bake you cookies on a sunny afternoon. You mourned the woman who, sadly, died a long time before her body did.
Your father took this as an excuse to turn his rage onto you. The morning after the funeral, he raised his hand at you, swinging blindly. But the blow he landed on your side was nothing compared to the counter attack that Jaemin launched on him. Jaemin had only been coming around to pick you up and witnessed first hand what your father was capable of. He called the police and you both watched as the man was dragged away in cuffs.
His trial was short. Like Jaemin had said, everyone knew everything about everyone in this town, so your father’s tendency to lash out wasn’t unknown. You watched him with no remorse, wishing him to stay out of your sight, mind and heart for the rest of time.
Then it was only you and Jaemin. 
Like Jaemin, you gained ownership of your house and assets, allowing you to sell them as soon as possible. And, once the final offer on yours and Jaemin’s houses were accepted, you did as you’d decided to and climbed into his car together and took off, watching the town you grew up in shrink in the rear view mirror until it eventually disappeared.
You left everything behind, choosing to only bring with you a couple of prized possessions and each other. There wasn’t anything about that town that you would miss or regret leaving behind. Except, maybe that park.
There were whispers everywhere you went, reminding you of everything you had gone through and it was impossible to escape from anything when you were constantly surrounded by it. You couldn’t cross the bridge without thinking of Jaemin, you couldn’t pass the warehouse without having flashbacks of the night you both took Ecstasy and you couldn’t even walk around you own house without thinking of all the things you’d seen there.
So you ran away.
You often thought back to the days when you were children, playing Peter Pan in your garden and praying to grow up so that you could get your happy ever after.
Well, here you are, all grown up and still searching.
You’ve learnt that things take time to fall into place. Sometimes you have to wait a lot longer than you want to, a lot longer than you think you’re capable of, in order to find that perfect moment. You’ve learnt that you cannot be brave, without letting yourself be vulnerable. But you’ve also learnt, that when you’re vulnerable around the right person, it’s easy.
You don’t know what’s going to happen next. And, to be honest, you don’t want to. Life is an adventure for you now, and it’s one that you’re enjoying living. You know that you haven’t reached your happy ever after yet, and that’s simply because, your story isn’t over. But you didn’t mind, because you weren’t searching for it anymore. As long as you had Jaemin, happy ever after was always going to be right there.
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thatoneao3writer · 4 years ago
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I don't think there's been much headcannons about puffy and ant, so how about those two and their dynamic
(I don't really watch much of their interactions, but I do know a bit about thr two so I'll try my best! :D)
Captain Puffy
She was a space pirate before she crash landed on earth and decided to stay.
She also had a bit of amnesia after the crash for quite a while before she regained her memories.
She has small sheep horns and ears that are easily hidden by her captain's hat.
Her hair is like a mood ring. It turns blue when she's sad, red when she's mad, yellow when she's happy, pink when she's flustered, and full on rainbow when she's calm or stressed. You can see how it differs because when she's calm, the colors are soft and they almost blend together, but when she's stressed the colors would ho really really bright and sharp edged.
Her flying ship can compress into a hover board. But the ship itself isn't that big either to be hard to control. It's as big as a small private yacht, but more pirate-y than white metal.
She would usually plays harmless pranks on her friends, mainly BBH because seeing him get flustered of all the Skeppy themed shit she puts in his room is priceless. She wonders where the Skeppy body pillow went... and the Skeppy cardboard cut-out... and the Skeppy poster... She sure as hell didn't take those back and neither did she see them in the trash...
Antfrost
He doesn't have a civilian life, so he can't work on pet shelters like BBH. But he uses his popularity as a hero to push and openly support charities for animal shelters and preserves.
The Titans know not to mess with him because he has a lot of blackmail material of them from their pets. Yes, he can talk to animals.
As much as he wants to forget his past and move on, he can't help but wonder where his dad is now and if he hates him.
He doesn't like baths and rarely take them, but somehow, he never stinks.
He can get high on catnip and Ponk will not hesitate to take that to his advantage.
He has fangs and claws when he's not sshapeshifted into anything. He can also activate and deactivate having ears and a tail.
He likes messing with Sam, so he would scratch up the couch for no particular reason. You have no idea how much couches Sam had to buy till this day. And is going to buy in the future.
When Sam decided to fuck it and replace the couch with a metal mock of a couch, Ant went and scratched up his bed... and threatened to do it to the others' beds too.
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volleyball-dontknowher · 4 years ago
Text
Jealous Karasuno
A/N: I started this before I wrote the other one so Tsuki and Kageyama’s are both similar to the other one 
7.7 K words
It’s all under the cut. Enjoy!
Daichi:
 You were a power couple to say the least, Daichi was the boys volleyball captain, a smart classmate and a reliable friend to everyone. You were the dance team captain, also a genius and rumored to be the Hottest babe in school. The two of you on your own were strong, but together the two of you were damn near invincible. Whenever you would walk through the hallways together people would stare at the two of you and you would always smile at them or give them a friendly good morning. You both were super busy with your sports but when you weren’t being the best parents in the world the two of you spent a lot of time together. You would study together, go to dinner together, read together, nap together, everything together, and you wouldn’t have it any other way because you just loved him so much. The volleyball team knew you and the dance team knew him, it was perfect. 
It was a training camp weekend and that meant your favorite boy was gone for the whole weekend. Lucky for you the weekend was busy for you as well, you had practice until late on Friday, then you had early morning practice Saturday, followed by a team pool party. The practices went by super fast and it was now time for the party. You weren’t an aggressive swimmer so you opted for a pink flowery strapless top and black bottoms. 
You got there early to help set up the snack table and make sure that everyone knew where they were going. Once all of the girls got there you reminded them to put on sunscreen and told them they would still have to dance no matter how burnt. The party was so much fun, you guys took several cute pictures together and the team manager (who hates swimming) got a lot of super cute shots of you guys playing marco polo and chicken in the pool. At the end of the party you ate wayyy too much and had a blast with your girls. You helped clean up before parting ways with the girls you loved so much. 
After you got home you noticed that your phone was buzzing like crazy, it was your team manager sending all of the pictures she took today to everyone. You scroll through the pictures and save all of the ones that you liked. You decided you were going to post a couple of the pictures from today with a cheesy caption like Dance team? Who's that? This is the swim team or something cute like that. 
Hours away at the training camp the boys have just finished for the day and were all heading to shower and get changed. First Daichi responds to all of your texts from the day, Have a great day!Don't forget to drink enough water. I don’t want you to pass out, We should totally try this new recipe I found for churros when you get back. The whole time he’s answering he’s blushing because he can imagine you telling him all of these things with nothing but love in your eyes. He then sees the notification that you posted on instagram (yes he has your notifications on, he wants to be the fist person to comment on every post of yours) and when he opens up the post his mouth drops. You really just posted yourself in a bikini where everyone could see it. Sure you look hot but do you know how many people will see that post. He knows at least everyone on his team follows you, almost everyone at school follows you and there are tons of strangers that follow you too. He’s upset deep down but still manages to comment a little You’re stunning babe <3. He usually doesn’t put babe in comments because well your entire page is full of the two of you smiling together at all of your little dates around town, even though you are obviously taken that doesn’t stop people from trying to slide into your dm’s and confessing their love for you no matter how obvious it is that you aren’t interested. He sends you a quick goodnight,  I love you! text before putting his phone away and going to bed. 
When he wakes up he double checks to see if he was just making up the whole thing in his head or if you really did post that. You did. It had over 200 likes from people and tons of comments (most from your teammates telling you how pretty you were) but some of the comments were from complete strangers. He again, pushed his emotions aside and finished the day of training. 
Somehow Ukai drove extra fast and he ended up home a whole hour earlier than they thought. He texted you and asked if you wanted to go to dinner with him because he was starving and everyone else way wayyy too tired. You of course agreed and met him at your favorite little spot. He was exhausted and you could tell immediately that he was tired and needed to go to sleep and go to bed.
You two chatted about camp forever before he looked down at his food and didn’t meet your eyes, “Hey, I just wanted to let you know you looked gorgeous yesterday, I’m sad I missed it” 
“What’s wrong?” you’re scowling at him, “you don’t just tell a girl she’s pretty without looking at her. What is it?” 
He tries to think of any excuse but quickly realizes that you won’t fall for anything that he tells you so he decides to be honest “I don’t know, I just don’t like the idea of so many people getting to see you in a swimsuit and commenting things about how gorgeous you are. That’s my job. But I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t post any pictures because you are so pretty and I don’t know I just love you a lot.” 
You grin at him “Damn right that’s your job and that’s why your comment is the only one that matters, because you’re the only guy who matters to me. You’re the only one who can compliment me and make me blush, and the only boy who makes me always happy. I love you and only you.” He smiles, and you smile, that was all it took for any worry to be taken from his mind, you two are perfect for each other and that is just proof. 
(After they go to nationals you definitely post a picture of you hugging him with some super caption like Number one on the court AND number one in my heart) 
Suga:
 Sugawara is impossible to shop for, absolutely impossible. He would tell you he loved the dirty sock you stole from Hinata because it was from you. Therefore you had no idea what he would actually want and what would make him happy. You two went window shopping frequently and he never had anything that he was particularly fond of. You two agreed that for the first 11 months dating you wouldn’t get each other things and instead plan a great date for the two of you. You guys have been to nice restaurants, drive in movies, zoo’s, museums, theme parks, and picnics. But now your one year anniversary was coming up and the pressure was on. You had to do something and it had to be perfect. 
The first time he saw the two of you together Suga didn’t think too much about it. You and Daichi had been friends and he trusted the two of you with his whole heart. You both smiled when you saw him and he just joined in the conversation's easy peasy. The second time he caught the two of you together Suga wasn’t sure what you were doing. When he asked what was up you both stuttered “I don't know'' and that you were just talking. He had no idea what was happening but you both were acting a little weird. 
The third time you two were caught it was behind the gym talking privately. Daichi had brought you the goods and there was no way he could’ve given it to you in class or someone would have seen and told Suga right away. You two are walking back from the exchange and the goods were in your backpack.
“What are you two doing together again?  Why are y-”
“Koushi Sugawara stop that right this very second.” You walk up to him and grab his hand, “We aren’t up to anything, I promise you. He was simply doing me a favor, please don’t think it is anything more than that because it isn’t” 
He looks at you and then at Daichi and back at you and can’t help but feel bad, he really almost jumped to conclusions about his girlfriend and his best friend. Daichi pats him on the back as he walks by with one of those bro it’s okay looks. You give Suga a quick kiss on the cheek before sending him to practice, you have work to do. Daichi had given you a collection of pictures that him and all of the boys had taken of Suga throughout high school and you were going to make him two different scrapbooks. One of the scrapbooks was going to be of his time playing volleyball and all of the successes he’s had playing and the other was going to be memories of the two of you from the past year with pictures of all of your dates. 
It was the day of your one year anniversary and you guys were going to go to a nice dinner and you were going to give him your presents. You got to the restaurant and the two of you were super excited to have some time to yourself. Dinner went fantastically and he loved your present so much it made him so happy. He got you a blanket that had your favorite memories on them. It was an amazing date and you thought that nothing could go wrong. 
That was until a guy cat called you across the street “Hey sexy let me show you a good time!” 
The guy was watching you and Suga pulled you into a kiss and wrapped his arms around your neck and pulled you close to him. 
“SHE’S TAKEN THANKS THOUGH! THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER PEOPLE YOU CAN BOTHER SOMEWHERE ELSE!” You loved him so much and you couldn’t wait for the next year you got to spend with him. 
Asahi:
 You and Asahi together, perfection. You two make each other laugh and smile and cry all the time. The two of you are also style icons, you both have an amazing sense of style and when you walk in the room people are always impressed. If it’s the school uniform then you have on matching earrings and a little necklace, and he has a belt and a nice watch on. On the weekends you two like to coordinate your outfits together and you even take to doing his hair to be like yours. You two go out with half up half down, messy buns, neat buns and if you’re really lucky you get to dutch braid the top and put the extra hair into a messy bun and have the rest down. You loved doing this because it brought the two of you together and he loved that he didn’t have to worry about doing his hair or what anyone would think (because he wouldn’t care his girl did it for him and always told him he was cute). 
With such fast paced lives you both liked keeping things low key and avoiding accidentally adding more stress to your lives. Which was why when a new cat cafe opened up down town you two were quick to book a table. The two of you loved going to coffee shops together and you both loved cats so this was going to be perfect. 
When the day finally came you both took a little extra time to dress up. You were both looking stunning, both in dark blue tops with cute bottoms and the little half up half down braided hairstyles. You both head off to the cafe hand in hand arguing about who was THE cutest. It was so fun you both were so happy when you entered the cafe. LIttle did you know your table was directly in the center of the cafe and all of the cats were loving it. You were in the hotspot of the cat cafe and the two of you couldn’t have had a better time together. You got so many pictures of the two of you with the cats. Every cat in the cafe was up for adoption therefore every cat you got to pet you both wanted to adopt. Both you and Asahi had to keep reminding each other that neither of you needed a cat. 
“Excuse me, ma’am your soup” you were completely distracted by the big cat laying in your lap and when you looked up there was a young man smiling at you with your bowl of soup. “I see that you are petting Squishy, she’s a real sweetheart.”
“I can tell! She’s a sweetheart!” And with that he left. 
You both started eating and you both shared your food with each other because you were indecisive and so Asahi ordered the item that you couldn’t choose between. 
“Are you enjoying your food?” The waiter was back and making direct eye contact with you. 
“Yes, it’s delicious thank you!” You smile up at him and he nods and leaves. You turn back to the conversation you were having with Asahi. 
A cat jumped up onto the table and stuck his head into your drink. All you could do was laugh because he was so big and so fluffy. Before you knew it the waiter was at your table with a new drink claiming that you needed a new one right away. It was faster than it should have been and he wouldn’t have known unless he was watching you. Asahi was always reluctant to jump to conclusions because the guy was only doing his job, but he was only paying attention to his girlfriend and was even watching them eat. He thought it was obvious that the two of you were together and you were having such a great time that he didn’t want to ruin it by saying anything. That was true until the waiter set down the to go boxes and his number was written on top of yours. 
“She needs a new box. Now. Please.” The waiter looked shocked, “She is my girlfriend and you have been flirting with her this whole time. Don’t say anything just get us a new box so we can go,” he smiled up at the waiter. The manager heard the entire thing and brought the new box before the waiter had the chance to apologize. He offered to pay for your meals but neither of you could let that happen, and you still even tipped. It was not the restaurant's fault and you both were way too sweet for them to let anything like that happen. You did get a coupon for a free dessert because the manager wouldn’t let you leave without it. The moment you two left the little cafe Asahi pulled you into a big possessive kiss. He pulls you close to him before repeatedly apologizing for causing a scene but he couldn’t handle the waiter trying to thirst after his girl. 
Noya: 
It was a typical Saturday afternoon for you and Noya, you were both at his house and you two were watching a movie, well making fun of a movie. It was supposed to be the film of the year but neither of you could see how a 26 year old could even possibly pass for a 17 year old, it was just horrible. You cuddled together on the couch and had a good time laughing about the sarcastic remarks that were being made back and forth. Once the movie was over you two were starving, you decided you wanted to order takeout from somewhere. 
“Hey, Asahi mentioned that he liked this little shop downtown, maybe we could try it out?” 
“Yeah, sure Y/N, I hope it’s not that gross organic place he keeps talking about.” 
The two of you make your way downtown, walking the whole way holding hands and just telling your favorite stories from past week, he started with a story about how him and Tanaka had got in trouble for trying to go a whole practice ignoring Hinata and once Daichi found out they had to do drills only passing to Hinata for the rest of practice for being rude. 
It was your turn to share a  story from this week and you decided to share a story from practice that Noya misseed. You were a manager for Karasuno and you knew how to play some but you definitely were not good enough to play for the girls team. You were helping Asahi with his spikes and he had accidentally hit the ball way too hard and way too high and it ended up getting stuck on the back-board of the basketball hoop. The two of you tried jumping for it but neither of you could reach (you obviously couldn’t but it was still fun to try). So you had the great idea of using a broom to knock it loose, that was tall enough but it couldn’t hit the ball art the right angle. So the next step was to get on Asahi’s shoulders and knock the ball loose with the broom. It was a fun story and you made a lot of the whoosh and wap noises to go alone with it and Noya seemed to love it. But he was stuck thinking how this was the second time today you had mentioned something about Asahi and he has no right to be jealous of one of his best friends but he couldn’t help but wonder why you don’t talk about him like that. 
The two of you get to the restaurant and order your food without any wait. The service was fast and the food was amazing. 
“I’m gonna have to tell Asahi that this place really was as good as he said!” 
“Okay..” You didn’t have to ask, you knew he was jealous, when he’s jealous he gets sassy and he doesn’t want to sass you so he always keeps quiet when it’s something you’ve done. If it’s someone else though he is in their face and a little firecracker.There was one time a guy whistled at you from across the street and Noya was across the street and in the guy’s face before you even processed what had happened. He was so angry and so determined to put the guy in his place that his presence made him seem 7 feet tall. This however, was not that kind of jealousy, it was the insecure jealousy that came out whenever he felt like he wasn’t good enough, or tall enough, or pretty enough or whatever not good enough he had stuck in his head. 
“Yuu Nishinoya, what’s wrong?” You give him THE look and he knows you know he’s jealous. He glances to the floor and starts to fidget with his thumbs. He didn’t think he was being obvious about it (he was) and you read him like a book. 
“If this is about me talking about Asahi today you have to remember that I have known him since I was four. We’re neighbors, remember, our moms have book club together every Wednesday. He is the reason that the two of us met, after four years of throwing him balls in the backyard he suggested that I become a manager so that we could keep hanging out. Then when I started crushing on you he always found ways for the two of us to get to drills together so I would ‘have a chance to talk to him’ and encouraged me to actually flirt with you. Asahi is like an older brother to me, kinda annoying at times but sweet when it matters most. Besides could you ever EVER see me dating someone like that? He’s way too tall like I couldn’t even kiss him, then he isn’t goofy so I would be bored all the time and he doesn’t make me smile every time I look at him. The thought of even dating him is a big no so stop being jealous and kiss me you dork.”
He does, happily, “Sorry for being jealous, it’s just-”
“Stop right there, you’re the boy I love and that’s the end of the story okay?”
“Okay.”
Tanaka: 
It was no secret that you and Tanaka were dating, he was the type to wrap his arm around your shoulder and point at you as you two walked down the hall and be like “This is my babe, isn’t she smoking hot” and no matter how many times you told him it was embarrassing because they are your classmates he still did it. Tanaka loved you with his entire heart and would kiss the ground you walked on because you were there. It was no surprise that he loved everything about you and that the two of you could just sit and stare at each other for hours and call it a date. Well today you had planned the most amazing date for you and Ryuu to go on together and you were so excited that the day was finally here. 
You agreed to meet at your favorite place to get breakfast together. You were already there when he arrived and you two enjoyed a wonderful breakfast together laughing the whole time. When you were done and had paid you got up from the table and nearly killed Tanaka. You were wearing a black cropped tank top and a little black skirt that had shiny stars all over it. He was shocked, how was his babe wearing something as sexy as this out of the house. He is instantly behind you with both hands on your waist so that there is a 0% chance that anyone will see your butt out of the end of the skirt. He knows it’s long enough but if people are sitting and you are standing there’s definitely a chance. 
You two get outside the restaurant and all Tanaka can turn to you and say is, “babe, what are you wearing?” 
“Do you not like it?” You ask him with innocent eyes as you grab his hand and start leading him to the next part of your date. 
“I-I no, I love it just don’t you think that-”
“Think what?” 
“Nothing, nevermind” He drops it for now but he cannot help but keep looking over at your gorgeous body and just think about what he would do if anyone else approached his girl. When you finally got to the next place he was shocked. You two were going to play laser tag. He was thrilled, you two were going to try and be opposite teams to see who could shoot the other person the most times in the game. It was time for the game to begin and you were both thrilled when your vest lit up blue and his lit up red. And off the two of you went to go try and prove who the best. The game started just fine and the two of you were getting shots in with each other back and forth not caring much about the other people in the room. Then the next time you went to go shoot at Tanaka a guy jumped out in front of you and shot him first. The guy was wearing a blue vest, damn it he’s on your team. After he shot Tanaka he turned around and smiled at you. 
“What’s a pretty girl like you doing at a place like this alone, dressed like that. You look like some kind of cheap whore I can take home with me.” He’s eying you up and down with a devilish smirk on his face. You stand there in complete shock, no idea who this guy is or what gave him the right to speak to you in this way. Tanaka almost lost it then and there, he marches over to the guy, shoots him in the back and tells him to “Back away from my girlfriend before I beat the daylight out of you.” 
The guy doesn’t budge and instead turns to you and asks “Why would you be with a man like that? I can treat you better and give you more than he ever could” 
That was it, Tanaka had officially lost his cool, he was up in the guys face “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY ABOUT ME? YOU HAVE THREE SECONDS TO GET OUT OF OUR FACES AND LEAVE THIS PLACE BEFORE I BEAT YOU” you’d never seen him this mad before so you let him finish before you pull him in close to you. 
“Ryuu, calm down love, he’s just a jerk don’t let him ruin our fun” “But he called you a whore, no one gets to talk to my girl like that.” You rub his head and tell him that you love him so much and that you’re so thankful that he stood up for you before shooting him in the chest and running off, forcing him to follow with a big goofy grin. 
Tsukishima:
 It is no surprise to anyone that you are a heart throb and if it was socially acceptable for boys to fangirl over girls then you would have a fan club. I’m talking about a full fledged society of boys that praised every step you walked on, from third year middle schoolers all the way up to third year high schoolers, because you were just so cute and friendly. Every person you passed you would smile or wave at and you always made sure to tell people to have a great day. You were a little sunshine that also happened to have a gorgeous face. You and Tsuki were in the same class together and would playfully banter back and forth. When you told him you liked him and he was shocked. He had no idea how the prettiest girl he had ever seen liked him back. The two of you ended up going on a date, then another and another and now the two of you had been dating for almost a year now. You loved Tsukishima so much and you never tried to do anything that would hurt your feelings and he did the same for you. You made him soft like no one else ever had before, he felt giddy and excited every time he was around you even if he didn’t show it externally you both knew how he felt. You were his sunshine and you made him happier than anyone could have ever imagined. Everyday the two of you would walk to school together and you both would walk home together after your practices were done (you also play volleyball and that makes his heart melt because you understand that he’s extremely dedicated but doesn’t want to get hurt-anyway) you always found time for each other and it was something the two of you prided yourselves on.
It was the spring tournament and both the girls and the boys volleyball were happening at the same arena. You both had sent good morning texts and nothing else because you were both extremely focused on doing well today. You two didn’t have to talk a ton during the day but after you both had won your first round you agreed to meet up by the concession stand excited to share your victories with each other. You agreed on a place to meet up and you were teasing him about getting there before him, so you can imagine the shock when he rounded the corner.  
There you were standing in your spot, with another guys arm pressed up against the wall and he was leaning in close to talk to you, too close. This had crossed a line. His vision turned red as he continued to stroll over to the two of you. His headphones were now off and he was listening in to every word, he was like a predator going in for the kill, you were his, and he had no idea who you were or why you thought that you could talk to any girl like that, let alone his girl. Once he was close enough he could hear the guy “Well, your boyfriend isn’t here right now and I am so why not let me treat a hottie like you.” 
Tsukishima is right behind the guy practically towering over him “Who’s boyfriend isn’t here?” He mocks, and the guy turns his head slowly and turns as pale as a ghost. 
Then Tsuki grabs the guy's arm and leans in close to his ear “If I ever hear you speak to a girl like that I will not hesitate to slap the life out of you. And if you ever even think of getting anywhere near my girl again then you might as well consider yourself a dead man. Now leave.”
You didn’t have to tell the guy twice and he books it out of there faster than anyone had ever seen before. You practically pounce on Tsuki and start giving him little kisses everywhere before he stops you because even though he loves you he’s not about to have everyone he’s playing against staring at him. 
You do however, get to cling to his arm and tell him all about how he’s your “knight in shining armour, and you came and saved me just like a hero, thank you so much Kei you’re the best and I loveee you” and all he can do is look down and smile at you because you make him so happy. The two of you get food and rejoin your teams and eat together before you all have to go back into warm up. When he gets on the court he sees the guy from earlier is on the opposing team and let's just say that Tsuki has never had a better game. 
Hinata:
 Hinata prided himself on being the bestest boyfriend in the entire world (his words exactly) and the two of you were inseparable, you could tell each other everything, how you day was, when you’re showering, even when you have to poop. It was something the other Karasuno boys didn’t quite understand, how Hinata found a girl who was just as bizarre and goofy as he was. You told each other everything, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t have your own friends and time to yourself but you were just drawn to hanging out together and making plans with each other. 
One day you and Hinata were chilling at his house, he was playing video games with Kenma and you were watching and playing with his little sister while also playing on your phone. 
“Hey, Y/N whatcha doin” He’d just died in his game and is looking over to find you completely engrossed in your phone. You didn’t answer him and kept typing out a long text that you had to get sent. 
“Hellooooooooo Y/N what’s up? Who are you texting?” 
“Tsuki” You reply without thinking much about it and continue your long text to Tsuki. Little did you know that Hinata was watching you intently internally wondering Why doesn't she text me like that? What are they talking about? Does she like him more than she likes me? I mean he’s tall and mean but some girls really like that, right? I mean we’ve only been dating a while and I haven’t been giving her much attention so maybe this is revenge? But Tsukishima of all people? 
But externally all he can make himself say is “What are you two talking about?”
You finish your message and set your phone down to look at Hinata dead on, “Babe, Shoyo, what class am I in?” 
“Class 1-4” He says while looking at you confused. 
“Okay, now what class is Tuski in?”
“Class 1-4” his brain still hasn’t caught up to what you are about to say and he now thinks that you are going to tell him that he’s too dumb for you and you can’t stand it. He’s both upset and made at Tsuki for taking away his girlfriend's attention that belongs to him, not some grouchy jerk. 
“Hinata, babe, love, hey, hello? Earth to Hinata” you say snapping your fingers in front of his face trying to get his attention.
“I DON’T WANT YOU TO DATE TSUKISHIMA HE’S A JERK AND RUDE AND I REALLY DO LIKE YOU Y/N AND I’M SORRY I WASN’T PAYING ATTENTION TO YOU MORE PLEASE DON’T BREAK UP WITH ME.” He shouts in one of his zoned out super fast ways. He’s mad that Tsuki would text his girlfriend knowing that they were dating and he couldn’t believe that you would text him back so easily. He was about ready to find Tsukishima’s house and go punch him right now. 
You stand up and pull him into a giant hug which breaks his train of thought right there, “Hinata, were you not listening? I just told you that Tsukishima and I are partners on a big project and I forgot my laptop at home and was texting him my part of the project. I am not breaking up with you goofy, I like you not some tall jerk with glasses. We are just working on a project, I have no idea where you even got the idea of me breaking up with you for him came from but stop that right now. As punishment for your actions I would like cuddles.”
He’s embarrassed, super embarrassed on how he could possibly think that you, his awesome, perfect, amazing, gorgeous, funny, cute, happy, loving girlfriend would ever break up with him for someone as bland as Tsukishima. He gets one of those giant goofy grins on his face and realizes that he’s not hugging you back, so he wraps his arms around you as tight as he can and pulls you down onto the couch kissing you over and over again. 
“I’m sorry for ever thinking that you’d ever date a jerk like Tsuki.” 
Kageyama: 
No matter how long you and Kageyama have been dating, everything you do makes him both giddy and excited but also nervous and insecure. He loves you so much and absolutely loves when you come watch him play volleyball, it made his heart burst seeing you in the crowd cheering for him and him alone. Anytime you were there it made him want to be better, he wanted to win more than he already did-which he didn’t think was possible ((but he also didn’t think he could get a girlfriend so)) he loves it.  You liked going to watch him play but with how much he played you couldn’t possibly go to every game. You liked to try and go to the important ones though because he would talk about them for weeks after and you liked knowing you were there for some of his proudest moments, and that’s where you were today-watching volleyball matches. You had been sitting in the gym all day watching team after team writing down little notes that you think Kageyama would find helpful such as Number 7 doesn’t receive, and 5 &9 only pass to each other when 5 signals him by waving his left hand. Kageyama loved looking through your little notes with you and thought it was super cute that you would write all of these things down for him, he also was super impressed by how easily you picked up the other player’s weaknesses. 
It was time for Karasuno to play and you were stoked. You’d been watching the team progress and it was always exciting to see what new tricks they had up their sleeves. The team was warming up and you were keeping your eye on #9 when you feel a great big thud next to you. You look over and see the guy from earlier, you recognize him from an earlier match, he was #1 on the mint and white team and as your notes said Good serve, but does it in the same pattern, straight, curve straight straight every time, also has sloppy receives. 
Smiling at you he asks “What’s a pretty girl like you doing sitting on this side of the bleachers?” 
You can’t help but stare at him, while he is definitely pretty he isn’t your type at all and you have no desire to continue a conversation with him. “I’m watching my boyfriend play, thank you very much.” And with that you turn your head back to the game and keep your eyes on your prize. Oikawa isn’t used to being turned down like this and has no idea what to say to you next, he lets you watch the game in peace  until the end of the first set. Karasuno had taken the set 25-21 and had played amazingly. 
“Are you sure someone as pretty as you wants someone from such a lame school?” Tooru couldn’t understand who was actually good enough for a girl like you on that team. 
“Yep, I like him a lot, thanks though.” Another shut down. He the great Oikawa Toru was not used to having a girl give him no attention and by no means did he want to steal whoevers girl from him he just wanted to know who was lucky enough to get someone like you and maybe ask them for some pointers (because his luck is horrible and he just wants love). 
When the game is over (Karasuno won ofc) you go to congratulate the team and the first thing that anyone gets to say to you is when Kageyama pulls you into a big hug and whispers “Why was Oikawa talking with you?” He was jealous that you would even consider talking to Okikawa, but he was also worried that Oikawa would steal his girl from him. You squeeze him back in the embrace.
“Are you talking about the loudmouth sitting next to me? He was annoying me the whole time asking questions and making useless commentary about your game.” When he went to ask more questions you kissed him on the cheek and told him that he did so amazing and that you were proud of him and that he shouldn’t waste his energy worrying about someone that you don’t care about because all you care about was him. That alone was enough to make any worries in his head completely disappear because if there’s one thing he knows is that you hate loud mouths like that. (Little did you know that Oikawa was watching the whole thing and could NOT believe that it was Kageyama who got the babe) 
Yamaguchi: 
Yamaguchi doesn’t get jealous per sey, he trusts you so much and wouldn’t ever bat an eye if you were talking to another guy and you would do the same if you saw him talking to another girl. He also didn’t care what you wore because if you were comfortable and happy then he was comfortable and happy. It was other things that would force him to swallow his pride and admit that he was jealous. 
The two of you often went on walks together around the neighborhood and through parks, It was something that the two of you loved doing together, no date, lets just go for a walk. It was an easy answer that made both of you happy-well most of the time.
 Every single time the two of you would go out together for as long as either of you could remember whenever you pass a dog they always want to be petted by you and completely ignore Yamaguchi. He has to watch big dogs pull their owners over to you so that they could get your attention and some pets. He had no idea why but every single time he saw a dog and they wanted you it made him so jealous. All he wanted was to be loved by the dogs like they love you, it didn’t seem like too much to ask but the more that it happened he started to find himself getting more and more upset over it, he just didn’t understand why you got all of the dogs to pay attention to you and they wouldn’t even look at him. You never thought much about it because you were always just excited to pet a good dog but once you started noticing how Yamaguchi would just stand there and look at you and the dog you knew something was up, and it had to be fixed right away. You two left the park like usual that day and you pretended like you didn’t have the best surprise planned for your boyfriend, he would love it. You spent two weeks trying to get in contact with one specific woman, and today she finally answered and agreed to your crazy plan. 
After school you told Yamaguchi you had something fun you wanted to do with him and he didn’t think twice about it until you pulled him into a local animal shelter, walked up to the desk and told the lady that you were the one with the reservations. He had no idea what you meant by reservations, it was a shelter not a restaurant. The lady led the two of you to a back room, that just so happened to be filled with puppies. The moment Yamaguchi saw the puppies his heart melted, he was beyond excited for this. You both washed your hands and got to enter the room with 20 puppies. You both sat down facing each other as puppies crawled into both of your laps. Yamaguchi had probably 10 of the puppies in his lap alone. While your problem wasn’t fixed this at least reminded him that puppies do love him too. 
Ukai: 
Ukai was an attractive guy and girls made sure that he knew it. Every time the two of you were out people couldn’t help but comment on his looks.
“Wow, is she your sister?” “Hey, can I take you out?” “Can I buy you a drink?” “What’s your number?” Were all constants in your lives, girls swarmed him and you never seemed to mind. Maybe you would make sassy comments back afterwards but nothing overbearing. That should have put him at ease, but it didn’t. Why didn’t you care? He would care a hell of a lot if some guy was flirting with you. Why are you so easy going? He’s your boyfriend, how are you letting them get away with this? He’s not jealous that you aren’t jealous-or is he? Part of him wants you to stand up for him and to tell a girl to back off every once and awhile. He decides that the next time a girl flirts with him he’s going to flirt back just to see what you’d do. 
It’s date night tonight and the two of you have plans to go to a nice restaurant together. You’re wearing a skin tight dress with some sexy heels and he’s wearing a button down and a suit jacket. Ukai would never wear something like that on his own but when you asked him to dress up for dinner he couldn’t help but put in some extra effort for you. The two of you looked hot, like straight out of a magazine story about dressing to impress. If you both hadn’t been around the city with your jobs then people would have thought the two of you were celebrities. It was both impressive and scary that you could look so good together. You walked up to the restaurant with his hand around your waist and he pressed kisses onto the side of your head as you were waiting for your table. It was more than obvious that you two were together, his eyes were glued on you. 
But, some tramp (probably named Stacy) apparently is blind and deaf and decided to come up and flirt with your man, while you were in his arms. 
“Oh, hey there sexy-” 
“No, stop right there, he’s mine and you can turn your ass around and find someone else to bother. Even if he wasn’t already taken he wouldn’t like someone you. But he is taken so goodbye.” You interject before turning and kissing Ukai on the lips, hands on his face as you pull him into a jealous kiss. WHen you’re done kissing him she’s still standing there wide-mouthed. “I told you to stop looking at my man, now please go before I have security show you where the door is.” Ukai had never seen this side of you but now that he has he’s about 10000x more attracted to you. 
Dinner goes great and the two of you laugh and banter the entire time back and forth. After dinner you decide to go to your favorite little ice cream place for dessert. You wait your turn and as you’re ordering the cashier cannot stop making eye contact with your breasts and tells .“wow, you’re really pretty” It was Ukai’s turn to get jealous, he’d already puffed his chest and was about to take this man down for saying something as offensive as that but you start to laugh at , the guy. 
“I know I’m hot thanks for the compliment but I’m already taken, thanks though”  The guy is bright red and you are turning and leaving with Ukai. He had never been more turned on in his entire life, let's just say when you got back to his apartment you had a long night ahead of you.
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rockmiyabideusexmachina · 4 years ago
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2021 Megaman Valentine’s Day Contest Results
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Among the many things this past year or so has tested us with is delays, and I apologize that this year’s Valentine’s Day contest results are included in that. I certainly did not plan on this taking until March to get completed, and I am sincerely sorry to have kept you all waiting. But hopefully it is all worth the wait!!
Thanks once again to every single one of you who participated! I will be contacting the winners soon enough. Work will probably keep me from replying to everyone immediately, but I will send a message about prizes hopefully within 24 hours.
Also, my thanks to @subzeroiceskater​ for helping out with judging this year. Not to mention the promo pic above and other assorted bonuses that always bring me a big smile. I might say this seemingly every year, but you all made judging this VERY hard. It might have something to do with the themes as well, but I think both of us flipped and rearranged our rankings repeatedly, and even then, it was hard to decide on who would place. XD Each one of you did an amazing job!
After the break, you’ll see the winners for both categories, along with all of the entries. Raffle prize winners will be noted below by their alias, as well.
Category 1: Kiss From a Rosered (Talent)
For our talent category this year, the theme focused on your favorite Megaman characters giving roses to their special someone, along with incorporating the symbolism of specific rose colors within the piece. That rose color was also to be the predominant color within the piece, to the best of your ability.
A grand total of 9 entries were submitted for this category. You can see the full gallery of all entries at full-size [HERE]. Each entrant’s name will also link to their individual pieces at full-size.
1.) Sapphire: *$100 prize*
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Subzeroiceskater said:
Oooooh, this is so cute and pink! Piiink~ Ehem. I love the depth, angle, and color grading of these—notice how Roll’s black linework is at the forefront of the pic but colors mixes with the lights and colors from the sun further along the pic. There’s a lot to admire about how everything easy to read with so many competing elements like the similar hues and bright lighting.
Pink roses usually mean a gentler sort of love but did you know that different shades of pink could signify different things as well? A darker shade may mean gratitude; medium shade could be about a first love or congratulations while a light shade may mean admiration. Tron holding a singular pink rose with varying shades of pink while literally tripping over herself and a Servbot could only mean—that this is hilarious.
Miyabi said:
From a technical standpoint, I think your piece clearly felt the most polished, crisp and virtually professional of the bunch. But more than that, I felt it also best gave off the vibe of the rose color dominating the piece, but in very subtle, beautiful ways. Where as the pink sunset causes many of the normally white areas, like Roll’s collar/sleeves, parts of Gustaff, and more, to ooze that pink lighting. Even with her klutziness, you still also portrayed the feeling of sweetness, admiration and appreciation that a pink rose conveys. Just so pretty, calming, and joyful to look at!
2.) Forceway: *$75 prize*
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Subzeroiceskater said:
There is a sort of gentle irony with how Skull Man and Shade Man are both robots modeled after horror symbols—skulls and vampires—but are here surrounded by a soft sea of pink roses. The dark night is often depicted as a primal fear because it hides our deepest fears but here—illuminated by the bright shining moon—the night is transformed into a scene of love—perhaps devotion, with how Shade is gently cradling Skull, as well with the church bell in the background. This is a very tender piece mixing the shadows and the sweet.
Miyabi said:
I know most digital art programs have the brushes and shortcuts to make detailing things like roses a lot easier, but your bed of roses certainly look all done by hand on your own, and that alone impressed me a ton! Based off of the Ariga Megamix tale of Skull Man not feeling appreciated or having a family after Cossack stored him away, I felt the pink roses and Shade showing him that he is actually appreciated here was a fantastic conceptual choice. Purples in the sky and Shade’s body split the canvas and contrast with the pink well, including how you used the pink for some of the stars in the sky. Beautiful job!
3.) DigitallyFanged: *$50 prize*
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Subzeroiceskater said:
Yellow is a bright color, often evoking the sun, warmth, light, joy and hope. With roses, its positive connotations continue with possible meanings of friendship, care and remembrance. Tabby’s piece seems to evoke the last one the strongest—with Zero, broken and forgotten in a lab—but, not entirely, because of a bond that is stronger than apparent death lives on—even if in this moment, it’s only a memory. Even the roses are not real—just projections of what was once alive. This is fantastic use contrast with the dark, moody blues against the vivid, almost defiant yellows; and the repeated little motifs such as X crying and the water drops falling all over Zero. It stands out from the rest of happy entries with how sad it is but it still manages to be hopeful.
Miyabi said:
Zero’s blonde locks certainly are an iconic part of his design, so playing off of that and focusing on yellow as your rose color fit perfectly. You definitely made this a very emotive piece considering technically, neither of these two are even alive and moving here! As mentioned above, the little details like the water droplets balancing against Cyber Elf X’s tears, the digital lines to make it appear like X has created the cyber-roses for Zero, and Zero’s battle damage caught my eye immediately. You certainly captured the yellow rose symbolism of remembrance and friendly affection beautifully!!
And the rest of the wonderful entries, in alphabetical order by alias:
AbilityField: [Page 1] [Page 2] [Page 3] [Page 4]
*Raffle Prize Winner* Captain N Mega Man Cel
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Subzeroiceskater said:
It’s so poetic about how this contest theme is about how the language of flowers is used to communicate feelings beyond just using words; and so, the comic is completely silent, relying on actions to convey its meaning. Yellow roses could mean friendship, care and affection; and it’s shown wonderfully with how Iris and Lan are so thoughtful with one another. It’s so cute how Iris missed Lan only because he was already out buying roses for her. Given how hard comics are to make and how this is fully colored, I really wanted to give this first place—however I felt the color usage of yellow could have been stronger, especially with the last page, where it would have had the most impact. I had to squint and zoom out to even see if the lighting had changed. Still, it’s such a very warm and lovely work.
Miyabi said:
I always appreciate the effort people put into making multiple-page comics for these contests, and this is no exception! Even without dialogue, you did a great job at conveying your story through your art in each panel and it was easily understandable. Another utilizing the yellow rose, I certainly felt the friendship and warmth in your tale. As Subzero mentioned, the only thing keeping it from placing was that the yellow colors weren’t as dominant in other areas of the pic, besides the panel by Sal. Still, your coloring was very crisp and vibrant throughout each page, and it was an awesome submission!
aw-colorcat:
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Subzeroiceskater said:
With the red for Metal Man, orange for Cut Man and the explosion of yellow flowers, that’s the trifecta of warm colors. Yellow roses could mean delight and this pic is delightful in all ways. Cut looks so cute practically swimming in the sea of flowers and greenery, as does Metal’s adorable expression—which is a feat since he only shows his eyes. I also really like the juxtaposition and balance of this piece from: the rust-brown car against green-yellow nature running wild, and Metal holding a bouquet meanwhile Cut’s covered with plants. It makes me want to get some fresh air myself!
Miyabi said:
Cut Man looks grateful for being able to ride in that pickup bed of flowers, and I have a feeling the two of them had a wonderful time just snipping and sawing away at all the stems to gather them all. XD Love how the yellow and oranges play off of both character’s color schemes nicely. The subtlety of the yellow flowers in the foreground, along with the sun and tree in the background all play off each other well, too! Just an absolutely cute pic!
Dark-Dullahan: 
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Subzeroiceskater said: 
What a fantastic composition. Dark-Dullahan does away with most color, leaving the colors of the mixed-bouquet roses as the main focal point. Classic red for romance, a gentler pink for affection, mixed yellow roses to signify caring and probably so much more—seems like Nana can’t contain her feelings for Massimo. I love how the close up of the bouquet doesn’t just form a kind of heart at the top but serves as the divider between the two, like a diptych. With such a wonderful offering, Massimo would surely accept her feelings.
Miyabi said: 
As you brought to my attention, your mixed bouquet had a few different meanings, such as the dark pink representing thanks to Massimo for saving Nana from Silver Horn, and the red tips on the yellow roses to symbolize falling in love. Certainly got those vibes from her shy demeanor, as she sheepishly tries to hand them to him. Also agree with Subzero that the line from the bouquet nicely works as a way to separate them uniquely with the background. Sorry you weren’t able to complete it as fully as you had hoped, but the concept behind it certainly was strong!
Donnie:
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Donnie also sent in an alternate version made during the creative process, in a different artistic style, that I still feel needs to be shared, as well. Fun to see the contrast, yet still have the same feeling and mood to the piece. 
Subzeroiceskater said:
Oh, I adore this one. It reminds me of a movie poster with the tagline. I love the extra PINK flourishes of the letterings like with the Mega Man logo color change and cute pixelated font and heart. Both Rock and Roll’s expressions are so cute, too—with his more subdued smile contrasted with her exuberant grin. Much like how the pink rose could mean many things like thoughtfulness, cheer or as a show of appreciation, this piece is positively sparkling with affection, hearts and all. It’s clever how the sunset is giving the picture an overall pinkish-red hue while having the yellow light as an outline. A darling piece.
Miyabi said:
With pink roses again, I truly liked the additional hue adjustments where you can feel the warmth and see the lighter pink mixed into their skintone, or areas normally of white - from eyes to teeth to the Megaman logo - that have taken on the pink in it’s place. With the painterly watercolor style you used, it all blends in nicely. Even in your earlier version, I feel you brought a strong game with the hues, but toned down the red from that version to make it feel much stronger towards pink, with a tighter crop of your canvas. It was fun to see how it evolved, and strengthened your piece in doing so! Fabulous job!
DragonMarquise:
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Subzeroiceskater said:
No better way to show how madly in love you are than a bouquet of roses that run the gamut of—I can’t call these warm colors because these passions are running hot. Orange seems to be the dominant color here—which in roses could symbolize a love that’s passionate, fierce and deep. It’s also expressed nicely with the two lovers embracing, engaged in mid kiss, their bodies also forming a subtle heart shape, to emphasize the flurry of hearts around them. The bouquet is not just orange roses, however, but a mixed bouquet of the classic romantic red and the more affectionate pink—it’s a piece that’s bursting with all degrees of love.
Miyabi said:
You also certainly mastered the limited color pallette challenge as you tackled this piece! Orange, the color of passion, is certainly felt in their deep kiss and embrace. I too caught the heart shape their heads essentially form, which is then further enforced with the heart of hearts behind them. I thought that concept was pulled off very well. Perfect for the fiery intensity of Match, this turned out to be a very hot pic!
Mattasaurs:
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Subzeroiceskater said:
This one has a very clever framing (eh? EH?). The color white is often associated with purity, innocence and hope, and with white roses—weddings and marriage. Sonia dons the classic white wedding dress which has a très élégante design—and the little Lyra on her belt is very cute. The pink background is also very romantic and a nice way to tie in with her theme colors. I dig the lovey-dovey feel of Geo doing the classic bridal carry while clasping a single white rose...but seeing the thorns, I think he better watch his hand!
Miyabi said:
For a theme emphasizing color within the pic, I salute you for taking the biggest challenge in choosing white. In many ways, it could have been the hardest to keep as a predominant color, but still make the pic interesting and visually appealing. Choosing to have the petals all around the frame, with the bouquet nearby was a clever touch. With white often used for weddings and new beginnings, I think the concept of your piece worked just right, where it was subtle, but still incorporated enough other color to give the piece some life. 
Category 2: Kawaii-rimi (Humor)
For our humor category this year, the theme focused on your favorite Megaman character gifting the plush form of another Megaman character to their crush, instantly created by a ninja-like character, to play off of the Kawarimi concept from the EXE series. 
With just 3 entries in our humor category this time around, every entrant placed. You can see the full gallery of all entries at full-size [HERE].  Each entrant’s name will also link to their individual pieces at full-size.
1.) Mattasaurs: *$100 prize*
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Subzeroiceskater said: 
Y’know how blocks of wood are sometimes used by ninjas when they do that whole body switching thing? I think it’s clever how this pic has Sal—Woodman.exe’s operator—conjuring the doll. Everything about the pic is so fun and colorful: from Sal’s mischievous grin of accomplishment, Miyu being completely shocked by her chibi doppelganger (check out that body language!) and Masa’s confused expression.
Miyabi said:
Yes, while to some, Sal might not be the first one they think of when they think ninja in the Megaman Universe, but I certainly thought she still fits the bill in her design. Usually we don’t see this much emotion or shock out of Miyu, so seeing her torque her body, taken aback at a doll of herself, is amusing in it’s own right. Meanwhile, nothing fazes Masa. And a bit of randomness: oh man, seeing Masa’s head in profile, with his bandana...wow, I never realized how much his head shape with the bandana looks like a fish’s. I can’t unsee it now. Anyways, I also agree that the color, polish, and fun vibe made this a worthy winner!
2.) ColeManX: *$75 prize*
*Raffle Prize Winner* Captain N Cutsman Cel
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Subzeroiceskater said:
E-Eyes? What did you mean by that, Mr. RT-55J?  Although judging from the sparkle on those booblights… I understand, Cinnamon—if that happened to me, I’d be making asides to the camera, like I was in “The Office”, too. Cinnamon’s enthusiastic smile with this whole bizarre scene really sells it for me but shoutout to Marino’s smug satisfaction in the background.
Miyabi said:
🎵 I kind of liked it your way How you shyly placed your eyes on me Did you ever know That I had mine on you?🎵
RT says it only has eyes for Cinny right now, but it’s also known to be a little grabby hands, so I don’t know if I’d fully trust it...but good thing this is just a plush version. Time for the tables to be turned, and Cinnamon to get her claws and paws on it, instead. Very cute, although after the DiVE V-Day event, we all know this is a ruse and your pal boobeyes only belongs to the Ferham Fanclub. XD
3.) Ronin-Apprentice: *$50 prize*
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Subzeroiceskater said: 
This whole comic is so sweet and fluffy, nya!  ~(=^‥^)ノ☆ It’s adorable how Proto brings up his gift first and the surprise is how Shadow handmade his gift. The little cat-eared Blues design is so darling--almost as cute as him fussing how totally NOT a cat he is. “Did you steal my cat.” had me snorting. Now I’m wondering where Tango went off to…
Miyabi said:
FU-SION-HA! 
Aside from getting his own Super Adaptor, this is probably the closest we’ve got to seeing Tango and Blues merged as one. LOL I’m sure that plush would have a ton of fans wishing it actually existed. The panels where Blues embarrassingly hides behind his scarf and gets pet like a cat had me laughing! Very cute and adorable comic, that certainly had the most depth in terms of the theme of this category!
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sphinxsmuses-archived · 3 years ago
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ooc: Alt. Verses/AUs!
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Fire Emblem Three Houses Ai: Ai Malificia is a Golden Deer student. A little shy but friendly and kind to all, Ai mainly focuses on magic, studying Reason and Faith. She can be seen in the library or the courtyard but especially the greenhouse with all the flowers. Ai loves flowers, especially pink roses. She also has a twin sister who has run away from home that she hasn’t heard from in a long time. The two were dotted on by their overprotective parents as both had Crests.
They feared what could happen to the two and though Ai didn’t mind, her sister had enough and decided to run away. Ai was sad for days until she heard about the Monastery. It took some convincing for her parents to let her attend as a student but finally they let her go. Now on her own, Ai strives to do her best and learn to be a healer in order to help others.
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Goddess Ai: Ai is kind-hearted, gentle, soft-spoken, nature goddess who loves flowers as well as relaxing activities like painting or reading with tea. She is quite naive about the world though, only knowing little from books and hasn’t been outside much due to worrying that there is danger out there. Ai is sweet and could possibly never harm anyone no matter the danger she may end up in.
Fire Emblem Three Houses Diana:
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Diana’s mother is a noble knight of Faerghus, retired now after having a child, her father a Monk who used to be an adventurer. Diana would hear stories from both about serving the kingdom and seeing the world. Though adventuring around the world seemed fun, she decided to strive towards a path of being like her mother. At first she trained under her when young, then when old enough was accepted into the Academy under the Blue Lions house.
Knowing Dimitri is the heir to the throne, Diana tends to sway to training her hardest to impress him since she is aiming to be a knight of his someday once she graduates. Her hardworking and studious nature has some students frowning upon her, thinking her an overachiever, while others admire her.
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Tsareena Gijinka Iyumi (A Pokemon Gijinka version of Iyumi where she is a Tsareena. Prissy and can seem stuck up but is actually willing to help others. If you’re charming and caring, her personality flips and she becomes a lot more friendly and adoring.)
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Genshin Impact Iyumi: Iyumi is a Electro Fatui mage on the prowl for someone cute she can call hers. To most she acts vicious and snobby, ready to electrocute them should they get on her nerves. But should she find the someone she wants, she becomes more adoring and flirty, chasing after them until she can have them. Which can turn into an aggressive chase should the other not want her.
Iyumi is a talented Fatui mage from Snezhnaya, obeying the Tsaritsa though sometimes goes off on her own in search of someone to play with and be her lover should they catch her interest. However her aggressive behavior and the fact that she is a Fatui has scared multiple people off, making her a bit hot tempered and grumpy towards others.
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One Piece Xia: Xia started off on an island of rich folk and snobs. She was given  everything she could have asked for except one thing. Freedom. Her parents were terrified of the outside world, even of some of their own neighbors thinking they would try something drastic to get their fortune. She was kept inside for the most part, couldn’t make friends, could barely even set foot outside. It drove her crazy. She could take  care of herself! Nothing would harm her. She tried every way she could  to break free of the cage she was in. And then, she finally saw her  chance when a pirate crew came to her shores.
The crew fell for her charms and looks and made her captain, blinded by their lust for her. Though she had never been a pirate or captain, she led them on one mission, to simply go place to place and have the fun she could never have when she was held like a  captive bird back home. Knowing how easily her small crew succumbed to  her wishes made her decide to branch out and use it more against others. Obtained the Inu Inu no Mii: Fox Model fruit on her travels.
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One Piece Kyana: Kyatana or Kyana as she prefers to be called lived in a humble town. Days were peaceful, all thanks to the Marines. Or so she was told by her parents. She listened to stories of famous Marines and saw them as heroes, desiring strongly to be one. She read as many books about them as she could, trained herself to at least wield a sword, and anxiously waited for herself to be old enough to join. Along the way to getting recruited however, she had some hiccups. As a child, she found a strange fruit that bullies were hiding and she decided to take it for herself, thinking they didn’t deserve it. She ended up being chased and in the middle of it all, swallowed the fruit as fast as possible. At first nothing happened. Then a burst of flame came from her. Her parents weren’t the type to give up though and made things work out, even if they weren’t sure what to think about their daughter’s new abilities. But they knew everything had been an accident. They encouraged her to train her new abilities and keep aiming to join the Marines. That was nine years ago and now much older, Kyana was ready to be recruited, feeling like she had control over her flames. Has the fire fruit.
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Demon Iyumi: A demon AU for Iyumi where she is a demon princess wanting to find her king and become a queen! Though her stuck up, snobbish attitude tends to scare away others. However, if she has interest in you, her personality switches and she’ll be nice and adoring towards you, possibly even flirty. Though watch out, when she sets her eyes on someone she wants, she’ll do anything to get them. Also has a Disgaea verse where she is a wannabe Overlord!
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Goddess of Darkness Iyumi and Goddess of Light Miyuki: Twin goddesses with not only polar powers but polar personalities. Iyumi is a snob and a bit of a brat, seeing herself as above all others (especially mortals) though secretly wants to find someone to love (and dominate over) and has a secret soft side as well. Miyuki is sweet and kind and has a very sympathetic heart, willing to help any mortals she comes across that are in trouble. Though she is also quite gullible and naive. The two bicker at times but try to work with each other.
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Angel Miyuki: Miyuki or Miyu is a young angel of heaven. She watches over humans with great curiosity but also a sense of duty to protect them. She is quite interested in the mortal world and wishes to visit it one day. Though she is no warrior, she wishes to use her healing abilities to help anyone in need. Miyu cares a lot for all living things and sympathizes easily with others’ struggles, even demons and fallen angels. The innocent angel only wishes to help whoever in need in whatever way she can. Face claim: Nasse from Platinum End
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Fairy Miyuki/Miyu: Miyu is a friendly fairy that lives in the forest. Since people who come there sometimes get lost, if she finds anyone with such a case, she tries to help them in any way she can to find their way out and be happy. She feels sorry for them and also as someone who was born in the forest, finds it her duty to help those who don’t know the area well. Miyu is however naive and desires to help everyone even if they might have hidden intentions, and is rather innocent in nature. She could never hurt anyone even if they were to try and hurt her.
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Fate Series Emilia: Emilia is from a family that has some mages, but none of them have participated in the Holy Grail Wars. When she was born, they decided she would be the first to participate once she was sixteen. It sent her family into a feud, some saying that she was much too young to join the Holy Wars, others saying she would be old enough to handle it.
Her family is counting on her to summon a strong Servant like Saber and carry their wish on her shoulders, a wish to make their family famous with a name that will go down in history. But Emilia decided on another wish. Realizing how deadly the Holy War was, she decided on the wish to never have it happen again so no one else would be forced to participate like herself.
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Pokemon Sword/Shield Diana: Diana is a trainer from the Galar region, aiming to become champion and quite strong already. Because of her knight themed team, she’s been called Lady Paladin by random trainers. Her team consists of Aegislash, Sirfetch’d, Escavalier, Bisharp, Gallade, and Ninetails.
She is friendly but serious in battle and can seem stuck up. But she loves her Pokemon and is loyal to them and her friends, willing to throw herself in a fight to protect someone.
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Final Fantasy 15 Diana: Diana grew up wanting to become a knight like her mother, her father a black mage she met on her travels. She was granted her wish when she showed great prowess in sword fighting and magic and was determined to do anything to protect her country. When trouble was heard brewing from the kingdom of Insomnia, Diana decided to start her journey as a knight early despite not being officially recognized as one and is traveling with her family friend turned her guardian, a moogle named Vico. Now she helps whoever is suffering under the empire and hopes to meet the prince one day to help him as well.
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Club Singer/Information Broker Xia: Set in a time of gangsters like Al Capone, Xia is a infamous club singer, beautiful and willing to sell information she gathers from the patrons there for good amounts of money. She may be willing to pull other favors as well if there is something interesting for her to gain.
Villain Kyana: Kyana is a villain, her parents both villains but are rather comical about it. She is as well, coming up with catch phrases, monologues, and nicknames for the heroes who go against her. She never murders or kidnaps anyone, rather steals jewels or other cliche villain things.
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