#so store bought biscuits it is

[leaving-fragments]

writing my thesis has made my biscuit addiction 100000 times worse... nowadays non-chocolate biscuits don't even cut it anymore

[mojimallow]

i love cooking so much and the fact that none of my friends live close enough for me to cook for them is. 😐

[scoutswritingcorner]

Careful, Baby On Board

Cursed Cat Alastor

TW: The Vee’s, biting, Cursed Cat Alastor being a menace

A/N: I had an idea of Cursed Cat Alastor being in a babybjorn carrier

The day had started out fine, you had to do a few errands around the hotel for Charlie and Vaggie. You were currently finishing eating your snack, Catastor (You originally named it Cat Alastor but that was too long) in your other arm as you ate. It was purring loudly, slowly blinking as if it was about to fall asleep in your arm. It’s paws carefully making air biscuits as it looked around the room ignoring you as you ate your snack.

Sadly every moment of peace is broken in the ever busy Hazbin Hotel as Charlie walks into the kitchen looking guilty as she wrung her fingers together smiling at you. You looked up at her, “Yes Charlie?” You asked as you took another bite of the very very off brand granola bar you had found whilst digging around in the pantry of the kitchen without Alastor finding out but Catastor did find out easily. “So…I have another errand for you cause Sir Pentious accidentally broke one of the bar taps and the part we need is more in town and you’re the only other one who can go..Alastor won’t go near the Vee’s tower..” She explained before smiling at you, opening her mouth about to say something else but stopped when you shrugged, “Okay.”

“..okay? That’s all?” She asked, disbelieving that you would answer so quickly, “Yeah..I’ll head out in a second.” You hummed, throwing your trash away as Catastor made a little growling noise in response. “Hush grumpy boy, we are going on an adventure.” You whispered out to him giving him a gentle kiss to his head which made him start purring more. Silly cat behaves much like your darling deer man.

~~~

After looking at what broke and taking a picture of it to make sure you could find the right things you had headed into town. The only store that was close was sadly in the Vee’s distract of Pentagram City which was dangerous for most of the hotel- Angel because Valentino and Alastor won’t go anywhere near modern technology and barely anyone in the hotel goes this far into pentagram city. So it was up to you, which you didn’t really care much for as you usually tuned everything out and stayed in huge crowds to avoid Vox finding you. The fucking creep trying to either flirt with you and get you to leave Alastor or he just watches you.

Straightening out your jacket to keep Catastor from growling at the amount of modern technology around and calm in the babybjorn carrier you had bought and specifically custom made for him so you could carry him around with you easier. While he was practically light as a feather, your arm would get all tingly after a while, he also tended to pick a fight with anyone who dared venture too close for his comfort. Sadly lady luck was not on your side on this fine hellish evening, first when you got into the store they were completely out of the part you needed and it wouldn’t be shipped in until a week later, so you had to call Charlie and get her decision on what to do, then Catastor didn’t like how the store manager was looking at you and decided to have an early lunch which resulted in you getting kicked out after you had negotiated a reasonable way for them to deliver the item to the Hotel and finally when you thought your day couldn’t get worse. Vox had to show his face to you as you finally got Catastor calmed down enough to get back into the carrier.

You fixed your jacket and gave Catastor a little kiss on his head before turning around to immediately run into Vox’s chest. “What the fuck.” You hissed out angrily glaring up at the tall tv headed demon, who only smirked at you. “What the fuck indeed, I didn’t expect you to be out and about this part of pentagram city!” He said loudly causing you to flinch, you already felt a migraine building behind your eyes. The low static that emitted from Catastor started to become louder and louder by the passing seconds as Vox went on and on about something you couldn’t care about.

“What…what the fuck is that noise?” He hissed out his screen glitching in anger, “My baby.” you replied quickly making the overlord stop in his tracks, “You have a kid?” He asked, watching you nod and open your jacket to show the bright red and black fluff ball that was currently hissing and jerking its head in anger. Bright red dialed eyes glaring Vox down, as it easily escaped the carrier it was in, saliva and foam escaping its fangs. “This is my baby boy and bodyguard while my darling Husband is off doing his own thing.” You replied looking at your nails, nonchalantly. 

Vox opened his mouth to say something but as his hand reached over to touch you that’s when Catastor pounced, claws digging into the Overlord’s chest and screen as he bit down anywhere he could. It was over in a flash as Vox had disappeared using his electricity and Catastor was standing where Vox laid before snarling and growling out wires in his mouth. You smiled picking him up, praising him as you took the red and blue wires out of his mouth. “Don’t need my bodyguard to get a stomach ache later.” You hummed walking back to the hotel.

Alastor is going to have a field day when he hears what happened with Vox. Maybe rub it in the overlord’s face at the next meeting.

[waughymommy]

MOMMY KNOWS BEST

Chapter 5

            They pulled into a McDonalds and Rebecca opened Brian’s door. He had successfully finished his second juice of the morning. She smiled as she unbuckled him. She unclipped his pacifier and stuffed it into her purse. “I will give you a break since we are out in public,” Rebecca whispered. “But remember, if you have to go potty, you tell mommy.” She grabbed his hand and led him inside. At the counter, Brian started to make his order, but Rebecca stopped him before he could get two words out. She shot him a look that let him know mommy was in charge. “Good morning. He will have a sausage biscuit and an apple juice. I’ll have a bacon, egg and cheese with a large black coffee. Thank you,” Rebecca said confidently, knowing that the cashier was giving the couple strange looks.

            Rebecca grabbed their tray and they made their way to a table. Brian started to complain, “Why can’t I have a coffee?”

            Without missing a beat, Rebecca answered, “Coffee isn’t for babies.” Disappointed, Brian went to grab his breakfast, but she slapped his hand, “Let mommy do that.” She opened the rapper and began cutting the sandwich into bite size pieces. She opened his juice, but reminded him to be super careful since she left his sippy cup in the car. “Now eat up sweetheart.”

            Brian kept his head down, certain that every person in the restaurant was staring at him, but the truth was every went about their own business. The two ate in relative quiet. He finished his juice. “My baby must have liked his food, you finished it so fast. Mommy is almost done.” Brian cringed and his eyes scanned the restaurant, praying that no one could hear her. “Alright sweetie. Before we leave, do you need to go potty?”

            Brian was mortified, “NO. Can we just go please?”

            “Relax cutie,” Rebecca was thoroughly enjoying his discomfort.

They walked to the car and once again she buckled him in. She pulled his pacifier back out, “Be good for me and suck on your binky. We will be at the store in just a few minutes.”

            They arrived at a department store, “Mommy wants to buy some clothes. If baby is on his best behavior, maybe you will get a treat.” As they walked inside, Brian realized that he still had is pacifier in his mouth and quickly shoved it into his pocket. Rebecca pretended to not notice, but it just reinforced that Brian was never going to let himself be little on his own. The two walked inside and found the women’s clothing section. Brian had always been a patient husband and bought whatever her heart desired. He had endured countless shopping trips, but this was different. With every step he took, he could feel the material of his pullup. He felt paranoid that everyone in the store knew his secret. He just stood behind his mommy as she perused the racks. She made sure to take her precious time.

            She picked item after item to try on. Brian squirmed knowing that this was going to take awhile. Every minute felt like an eternity. He just stood outside the stall as she tried on different outfits. He was unsettled and bored all at the same time. He just wanted to get out of there. But then he noticed an ache in his bladder. No way in hell was he going to ask her to take him to the bathroom. He would just wait till they got home where he would hopefully be able to slip away and use the bathroom on his own. With every passing moment, his need for the bathroom grew more and more intense. Rebecca opened up the stall to model a new outfit, “What do you think sweetheart?” She immediately recognized the look on his face. “Brian, baby, do you need to go pee-pee. Mommy can take you. All you need to do is tell me.”

            “No, Im fine,” Brian responded hoping that she believed him.

            “Ok baby. I’ve got a few more things to try on,” as she walked back into the stall. Brian took a deep breath, desperately trying to will away his need to pee. He crossed his legs hoping to relieve some pressure.

            “Are you almost done,” Brian asked in a whiney tone.

            “Not quite sweetheart, be patient for mommy just a little bit longer,” Rebecca said from behind the stall door.

            Brian tried to take his mind off of his predicament. He tried looking through the racks, but his mind kept racing back to the fact that his wife of nearly ten years was turning him into a baby. He had always fantasized about it, but it was always just that: a dream. This was real life and it terrified him. How could he give up control? He needed to be the provider so that his wife didn’t have to be. She had always been so sweet and supportive of him. The least he could do was work hard so she didn’t have to. He could still remember the day he saw her. He was absolutely smitten. He saw her in a coffee shop on his way to work. Her wavy brown hair flowed over her shoulders. Although she sported a hoodie and jeans, he could tell she was curvaceous. Something about her drew him in like a moth to a flame. Brian was never one to openly flirt with women. He was always a bit shy and reserved. But with her, he had to try. He plucked up his courage and walked up to her table, “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you. My name is Brian and I couldn’t help but notice you. I don’t normally do this, but would you grab coffee with sometime.”

            Rebecca looked up at the dapper man standing before her. She flashed him a smile. She could sense the shyness of him which conveyed a genuineness about him. He was tall and fairly fit. Why not, he seems harmless.

            “I would love to. How about tomorrow at noon?”, she asked. He was thrilled, over the moon happy. That moment of bliss Brian daydreamed about was soon shattered by a sound that jerked him back. It sounded as if someone was peeing. He was confused, until the warmth spread across his crotch. The daydream had broken his concentration and he was flooding his pullup.

            “Ok, I am all done baby boy…Brian are you ok?” Rebecca asked as she exited the stall. She saw the look of total panic on his face and a growing wet patch on his pants. His pullup couldn’t handle it and pee dribbled down his legs. Brian burst into tears. In that moment all he wanted was mommy. Rebecca flung into mommy mode. She set aside her clothing and went to comfort her baby boy. “Why didn’t you tell mommy you needed to pee-pee? I guess you aren’t ready for pull ups? Where is your paci baby?” she asked.

            Brian could only point to his pocket. She reached into his pocket and then nestled it between his lips. “Come on baby, lets get you home.” Rebecca grabbed his hand and led him out into the parking lot. Every patron in the store just witnessed a grown man with a pacifier and wet pants, be led like an overgrown toddler out of the store. But Brian was too upset to notice. They reached the car. “Brian before you get in, we need to take those pants off,” Rebecca said.

            Brian fearfully scanned the parking lot to see if other people were watching, “But but people might see me.”

            “Brian I can’t put you in the car with soaking wet pants,” she said forcefully. She unbuttoned his pants and starting pulling his pants down to his ankles. “I need you to step out baby. Mommy packed another pullup, but she didn’t bring any pants.” She ripped open the sides of the pullup, leaving his bare bottom exposed. He closed his eyes and just prayed no one could see him. He felt the cold touch of baby wipes around his crotch. “Ok baby step into this pullup. There, nice and dry. Hop in the car for me sweetheart.” She leaned in and buckled him up. She then kissed the top of his head, “Everything is ok sweetheart. You were so brave while mommy changed you. I promise, mommy will never get upset at you for having accidents. Lets get you home.”

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

Haunting Heroes DPxDC. December 22: Baking

Right before Christmas movie night, the power went out at the Manor. Dick was hysterical. Yeah, Tim's laptop still had enough charge for at least one movie. The real problem was that the Traditional Xmas Bat Cookies weren't ready. And Nightwing wasn't going to accept that they would have to spend that evening eating store-bought ones. Dan adjusts his Santa cap and indignantly hurries the birds and bats. "Leave the poor dough alone. Bruce will soon sort out the breakdown anyway. Go watch the Grinch or I'll turn on Saw and drain your laptop's battery so you'll just be staring at the wall for the rest of the night." Jason, with the confidence of a man who has come up with a brilliant idea, grabs a strand of Phantom’s hair that has escaped from under the red cap and pulls. "You! You are a solution to the problem."

~~~~~ Dan: Auch, I prefer to be part of the problem, thanks. Jason: Come on, take off your sweater and give us some warmth. Dan: First take me on at least one date, brat. Danny: Actually, that's a great idea. You can warm up your core to the desired temperature, right? Just lie there with a sheet of biscuits on your chest for about twenty minutes and Dick will leave you alone. Dan: I refuse to act as an oven! ~~~~~ Also Bruce, who an hour later comes into the kitchen and sees the children sitting in a circle near lying on the floor Dan like a sect: “..You all know that we have a backup energy source, right?” Tim, who is tired of trying to persuade Dan to warm up another cup of coffee: Mother of f..

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Chapter 0

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there. Some dialogue's taken directly from the English version's prologue.

This world, it’s full of despair.

It comes in different forms, both big and small.

Even so, it wears down on the mind all the same, and can even take lives.

(I’ve been searching for a way to fight against it)

--

Ellis: Thanks for queueing with me, Roger.

This morning, Ellis had asked me out of the blue to go with with him to a cafe that looked like something out of a picture book as a “favor”.

In a space that was full of women, Ellis and I drew curious glances.

Roger: So, what the hell is that “thing” making people queue up so early in the morning?

The cafe recently went through some renovations and the first 30 customers would get some kind of gift.

Ellis: A tin of biscuits. It’s something Harry wanted but since he’s on a mission, I came in his place.

Roger: Haha, so that’s it. Then I’ll give him my share too ‘cause having two will make him “happier” than having one.

The man sitting in front of me’s been busy making people happy today.

Ellis: By the way, I had some business at the pub yesterday and a woman asked me where Roger was. I gave her some excuse because I know you don’t like dealing with that kind of trouble.

I’m someone that doesn’t believe in romantic love.

It’s something that’s not scientifically proven. If “romantic love” does exist in this world, then…

(It’s a dysfunction of the brain or a misunderstanding caused by sexual desire)

Seems like Ellis knew me well.

Roger: You’re too good for Jude, you know. I’ll buy you drinks as thanks.

Ellis: Yippee. Ah, I think I’ll get something for Jude. I’m going to take a look around, okay?

Roger: Do what you want. Pick what would make Jude “happy”. 

As I watched Ellis make his way into the store with nimble steps—

(...Hm?)

I heard a voice cutting into this peaceful morning coming from the flower shop across the street

Flower shop owner: The delivery was delayed due to construction? Ha, how typical for a female postal workers.

I couldn’t see the face of the postwoman that was getting yelled at from here.

However, with my ears that let me pick up sounds 100 yards away, I could hear her heartbeat.

It was unsteady, probably because she was scared.

(“How typical for a female.” …What a bastard)

(If it escalates, I’ll step in—)

In the moment, her dignified voice rang out.

Kate: My sincerest apologies! I will be more careful in the future. For now, will you please accept this?

The man who was yelling is taken aback, likely feeling guilty after her apology.

Flower shop owner: Y-yeah… As long as you understand. Just be careful from now on.

I heard her let out a deep breath.

(So that postwoman’s someone that tries to be strong… Not bad)

Ellis: I’m back, Roger….Is something wrong?

Roger: No? Wow, you bought a lot?

Ellis: I wanted to get something for everyone. I’ll ask Victor to make tea and we can all have them together. Oh yeah, speaking of Victor…He said he has a mission for all of Crown.

Roger: Oh? Having us all together’s pretty rare. Could be an annoying one so let’s try not to get hurt.

--

Having said that, it ended without a single injury or incident.

—At least it was supposed to until an uninvited guest wandered in.

The woman standing there covered in blood, looking pale, was neither cursed nor a target. Just unlucky.

Jude: Tch…That’s why I toldja to lock the damn door!

Roger: Haha, well I didn’t think we’d have a trespasser! She’s a naughty lil’ thing, isn’t she?

My ears picked up an irregular heartbeat.

(...This sound. …No way)

—But that hunch soon came true.

The lil’ lady called Kate who stumbled upon Crown was presented to the palace’s grim reaper like a main dish.

(Now that she knows some classified info, she can’t leave without consequences)

(Worst case scenario, what waits for her is—)

Then, the lil’ lady in her hopeless situation spoke up with a dignified voice.

Kate: I swear I’ll never tell anyone about anything I just heard!

Victor: Hmm…Hm? What’s this?

Kate: I swear to protect your secret. I-I’m a letter carrier, and we’ve been trained to…maintain strict confidentiality!

Victor and William: …

Kate: If you think you can’t trust me, then go ahead and keep me under watch until you believe you can! I promise I’ll prove it.

A brave and logical proposal.

However, despite her demeanor, her heartbeat continued pounding in my ears.

The sound that didn’t match the attitude—it had me convinced.

(Ah…so she’s the postwoman from that time)

Her loud heartbeat gave away her true feelings.

(“Please don’t kill me”)

Among the anxiety was the strong desire to live and fight against despair.

(...Nice. This lil’ lady could be interesting)

I didn’t feel any sort of love or affection, but I felt this strange exhilaration in my heart.

So I thought—It'd be a shame to kill her.

(Come to think of it, at that time…)

I did “hear” her footsteps and heartbeat when she wandered in.

I could’ve made her avoid Crown.

(But I didn’t)

(Deep down, I was waiting for “something”...which is probably why I invited this heartbeat in)

I could imagine how angry this lil’ lady would be if she knew…

Victor: Well, well, what a good idea! I think we can actually make use of you. Accepted!

Kate: …Really?

Victor: Let’s see…All right, from today forward, you shall be Crown’s own personal…Fairytale Keeper!

Under the command of Victor, the Queen’s aide who controls Crown, enigmatic position of “Fairytale Keeper” was filled by Kate, saving her life.

Roger: Let’s try to get along this month, yeah?

Kate: Of course, Roger.

--

Ellis: Hey, Roger. Earlier, why did you look like you were having fun?

Roger: Earlier?

Ellis: When we were discussing whether or not to kill Kate.

(...This guy can really read people)

Roger: Well…I guess it’s ‘cause it’s been a while since I saw something interesting.

Ellis: Hehe, I see. Then… Would Kate being here overthrow your theory…and make you happier?

Basically he was asking if I’d fall in love with Kate and be happy.

Roger: Ellis, you’re aware of my curse…right?

Ellis: The double-crossing hunter from Snow White.

Roger: Right…The queen had ordered the hunter to bring her the heart of the detestable Snow White. But the hunter betrayed the queen by letting the girl go in the forest and instead, brought the queen a heart of an animal. After that, Snow White met a prince after her life was saved…And now here’s a question. Why do you think Snow White chose the prince instead of the hunter who saved her life?

Ellis: Huh?...I don’t know.

Roger: Because that’s just how it’s supposed to be. Because there’s supposed to be a happy ending.

Not to mention the fact that this is reality, not a fairy tale.

A man who doesn’t believe in love and a little robin who’ll leave after the month’s up—the relationship won’t develop into love or affection.

(...That’s what I think)

(But then why does my heart beat weirdly when I look at the lil’ lady?)

[lixzey]

professor, professor

September 1, 1993

Your heels clicked against the stone floor as you walked inside the Defense classroom late at night. Your eyes scanned the room as you reminisced about the days you spent inside the classroom as a student.

Professor Dumbledore had hired you at the last minute as an assistant for the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. At first, you were skeptical—why would the defense against the dark arts professor need an assistant? All the defense professors you had when you were a student never had assistants, so this was a first. The headmaster didn’t elaborate much; all you knew was that it was needed. 

You agreed, of course, since you terribly needed the extra income. The job you had barely paid for rent and utilities, let alone food. You had been living in the muggle world since that fateful Halloween night in 1981. You spent the last twelve years blending in with muggles, though it isn't much of a problem since you were a half-blood, but you lost everything you had ever known. You lost your family in the most tragic way possible; they weren’t related to you by blood, but they were family—the only family you’ve ever known.

August 31, 1993

You sat in the living room of your one bedroom flat with a tin of biscuits in your lap that you bought along with a few groceries with the last of the money you had, hoping it would ease your hunger and last a few more days until you could get another job. 

For the last twelve years, you’ve been in and out of jobs—not one lasting more than a year. You had been a waitress, a bartender, a street sweeper, and a cashier at a grocery store and café; hell, you even tried to become a stripper out of desperation. 

You sighed deeply, rubbing your temples. You were thirty-three yet you still haven’t figured out your life. It wasn’t supposed to be like this; it never was. Voldemort took everything, leaving you miserable and alone. 

While you were reading and eating the biscuits you had just opened, you suddenly heard a knock on the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You weren’t expecting anybody—you haven’t expected anyone for the last twelve years. You took a deep breath, placing your book and the tin of biscuits down on the coffee table in front of you before getting up to open the door. When you opened the door, your eyes widened. Albus Dumbledore was on your doorstep. 

“P-Professor Dumbledore?” 

“Good evening, Miss L/N.” Dumbedore’s blue eyes twinkling. “May I come in?” 

You nodded, dumbfounded, stepping aside to let your old professor inside. The Headmaster made his way to your living room, sitting comfortably on your worn-out couch. 

“This is an unexpected surprise, Professor. Is there anything I can help you with?” You asked as you grabbed a chair from under the coffee table. “I don’t usually have visitors, but I have tea; if you’d like, I can start the kettle.”

“There’s no need, Y/n,” Dumbledore answered with a smile that almost looked like pity. “I won’t be staying too long, my dear.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Then why are you here, Professor? How did you even find me?” You asked, confused as to why he was here; it certainly wasn’t a visit to his old student.

“I hear you’re looking for a job.” Dumbledore said thoughtfully. 

“How’d you know that? I haven’t stepped inside the Wizarding World in almost thirteen years.”

“I have my ways, Miss L/N.”

You rolled your eyes at your old professor. “Yes, I’m looking for a job. Hell, I’d take any job.” 

“How would you like a job at Hogwarts?”

Your heart skipped a beat at his offer. A job at Hogwarts? The place you once called home. It seemed too good to be true. “What kind of job?” You asked, still skeptical about the offer.

“I need an assistant for the new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor,” Dumbledore explained. “I believe you are well-suited for the position as you are one of the brightest students in your year. The pay isn't quite as much as I'd like to offer, though,” Dumbledore continued. “But there is room and board, of course, and full meals and such.”

It was as if the air had been sucked out of your lungs. A real job, a consistent job. A job at Hogwarts, the place that had been a second home to you for the important years of your life. The place where you met your friends and formed bonds that were stronger than any other.

“I'll take it.” You said without hesitation.

“I thought you might,” Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with satisfaction and moved to stand. “I'll see you tomorrow at the start of term, Miss L/N.” 

“Thank you, Professor.” 

“You’re welcome, my dear girl.” Dumbledore smiled. “Oh, I nearly forgot. Have you read the Daily Prophet recently?”

You shook your head, your brows furrowing. “I haven’t looked at anything from the Wizarding World since James and Lily died.” 

“I suggest you take time to invest in a copy of the Daily Prophet, Miss L/n.” Dumbledore smiled again, though his eyes were telling otherwise. Before you could utter another word, he apparated out of your flat with a loud pop. 

You hadn’t gotten a chance to get a copy that night since the next day was the start of term and you were already in a hurry to pack your trunk. You still have no idea what your old professor was implying, though you didn’t let it bother you too much. 

As you continued to look around the classroom, memories of your Hogwarts days came flooding back. 

The way you and your friends—James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus—would always sit together in every class Always plotting pranks for the Slytherins—mainly Severus Snape and other unsuspecting students. 

There was Lily, who always told you not to encourage the boys, but she also had a mischievous side you loved. 

Then there were Mary and Marlene, who loved to chatter and talk, always sharing all the gossip with you and Lily. 

And finally, though he was a part of the Marauders with you, Remus. You loved him more than words could ever describe. You and Remus had dated at the start of your fifth year. He was the calm to your storm, the voice of reason when you and James were off planning another ridiculous prank. Remus was kind and caring, always making sure that you were okay and safe. He was your best friend, your confidant, and the love of your life. There was something about Remus that made your heart flutter every time he smiled, or how his eyes sparkled when he talked about something he was passionate about. You were drawn to his intelligence, his kindness, and his unwavering loyalty. 

They were your family, the family built on love.

You felt a pang in your chest at the thought of Remus. It had been years since you had last seen him—years since he pushed you away after James, Lily, and Peter's deaths and Sirius’ betrayal. You couldn’t blame him, but you were hurting too at that time. It wasn’t fair that he broke your heart because he couldn’t take the pain of losing your friends. You have resented him for breaking your heart ever since. 

You sighed, brushing the painful memories aside. Maybe this was the fresh start you'd been waiting for. A chance to leave your past behind and embrace the future. With a new job at Hogwarts, life was looking up.

Lost in your thoughts, you didn't realise that someone had entered the room until you heard a deep, familiar voice behind you. “Who are you? What are you doing in this classroom?” 

You quickly whipped your head around to see the person you weren't expecting to see in a long while—Remus Lupin was standing in the doorway, looking confused and shocked at the sight of you. The two of you locked eyes for what felt like an eternity, silence painfully enveloping the two of you. 

“Y/n,” Remus finally managed to say. “H-How have you been?”

All the pain and hurt came flooding back with a vengeance. You felt your heart loudly thumping in your chest as anger coursed through your veins. “Cut the crap, Remus,” you spat. “What the bloody hell are you doing here?”

Remus’ eyes widened, clearly not expecting hostility from you. “I-I’m the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.” You scoffed, your eyes narrowing at him. 

“I wish I wasn’t.” Remus shrugged. 

“Oh hell no, I am not working with you.” 

Remus raised a brow. “What do you mean?” 

Before you could reply, Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall entered the classroom.

“Ah, I see you two have been reacquainted," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. 

“You didn’t tell me he was going to be the new professor,” You snapped, glaring at Dumbledore. “I would have refused the job if I had known.” 

“I understand your reluctance, Miss L/N,” Dumbledore said calmly. “But I assure you, Professor Lupin will be an asset to Hogwarts. You will be assisting Professor Lupin in his classes. I believe the two of you working together will be beneficial for both of you.”

Remus scowled. “What do I need an assistant for? I’m perfectly capable of teaching; thank you very much.” 

“I assume you're aware of Professor Lupin's condition, Miss L/N?” Dumbledore asked, making Remus scoff.

“Yes, but I-”

“That settles it, you would be substituting for Professor Lupin once a month, until he is healed and deemed fit to work by Madam Pomfrey.”

“With all due respect, sir, I can’t work with him,” you protested, crossing your arms over your chest, glaring at Remus. “I don’t care how dire the situation is; I refuse to be around him.” 

“Now, now, Miss L/N,” Professor McGonagall chimed in. “You two will have to learn to work together. You both are highly capable, having been the top students when the two of you graduated. The students will benefit from your expertise in defense against the dark arts,” Professor McGonagall gave you and Remus a soft smile. “You both will need to set aside your differences and work together for the sake of the students and the school. It’s time to put the past behind and focus on the present.”

You clenched your jaw, feeling a mix of anger, resentment, and frustration. The last thing you wanted was to work with Remus after everything that had happened between the two of you. But seeing the determined and hopeful looks on the faces of Dumbledore and McGonagall, you knew you had no choice.

You let out a heavy sigh, turning to Remus with a stern look. “Fine, I’ll do it. But I better get a raise.”

Dumbledore chuckled. “Of course, Miss L/N.” 

Remus nodded, his expression unreadable. “I understand. I’ll do my best to make this work.”

Dumbledore nodded at Remus. “I have faith in both of you. I trust that you will be able to put your personal feelings aside and work together for the betterment of Hogwarts and the students.” 

You rolled your eyes, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over you. The past was haunting you at every turn, and you hated it. But you had no choice; you terribly needed this job, and you weren’t going to let it go just because of him. 

“One more thing, Miss L/N, Mister Lupin,” Dumbledore started, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “The two of you will be sharing living quarters for the whole semester.”

“What?” You and Remus both said in unison, disbelief written all over your faces. 

“Consider it team bonding,” Dumbledore said with an amused smile. “I’m sure the two of you will find a way to make it work.” 

You pressed your lips into a thin line, feeling dread settling in the pit of your stomach. Sharing living quarters with Remus—a man who had broken your heart and pushed you away after everything that had happened—was not something you were looking forward to.

You gritted your teeth, forcing a smile as you nodded. You didn't have a choice but to go along with it, despite the knots of discomfort and resentment that twisted in your stomach. It seemed that working at Hogwarts was going to be even more complicated than you had initially thought.

“At least tell me we have separate rooms.” 

“Of course, Miss L/N,” Dumbledore nodded. “You will each have your own separate rooms, fear not.”  You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding, feeling a bit of relief at the mention of separate rooms. At least you wouldn't have to spend the whole semester sharing a room with Remus, a thought that made your skin crawl.  

“Well then, we shall leave you two to make the necessary arrangements,” Dumbledore said, giving you and Remus a reassuring smile before leaving the room with Professor McGonagall.  

You and Remus stood in awkward silence for a moment, both of you avoiding eye contact. The tension between the two of you was palpable, and it was suffocating. You sighed and finally turned to Remus with a cold stare. “Don't get too comfortable, Lupin,” you warned. “This doesn't mean we're suddenly best friends again.”

Remus flinched when you called him by his last name, but nonetheless he nodded, understanding your apprehension. “I don't expect us to be best friends again, Y/n,” he said quietly. “But for the sake of the students and the school, we could at least try to get along.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, still not convinced. “We'll see,” you replied with a dismissive tone. 

Remus met your cold gaze with a resigned expression. “I understand,” he replied evenly. “I don't expect us to be friends again. I don't expect us to be anything other than colleagues.”

You scoffed, feeling the weight of your past grudges and hurts. “Colleagues. That's all we'll ever be.”

Remus nodded. “I know.”

The two of you stood there in uncomfortable silence, knowing that once again, your lives had become even more complicated. You both needed this job and living at Hogwarts, and you wouldn't let your personal differences get in the way of it, no matter how difficult it might be. 

But one thing’s for certain: it was going to be an interesting year at Hogwarts.

@helens3amstuff @gatoenlaciudad @thebetawolfgirl @lovemelikecrazyiloveyoucrazy @tchalamss @ashlynnmalfoy @crazycat-ladys-blog @michakune @mxltifxnd0m @spencerr3idd @dangelnleif @sthkate @ferrjulie @imnotoverlyobsessive @mel-vaz @elsagreeer @lovely-maryj @meowmeowmau @bobthe-turmpetman29 @saintcosette @ashisabitgay @ladyladybuggg @nyrasunderwrld @lizzxoxo @remussbitch @jadahxx @starrystormwritings @ell0ra-br3kk3r @dreary-salem @drewsandsebastianswife @greenapplegrass @lilianelena39 @danni-phant0m @haybellewrites @cloudlst @si4a @ev3ningrain @ttulipwritezz @bambikitten @bullets-from-another-dimension @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @reg-arcturus-black @abruuinlove @marina468 @3stelar @timhalamet @st4rf00k3r @idli-dosa @jimins15thhair @blacksgarden

[officialabortive]

wolf hybrid!Bakugou x reader

You'd just finished running errands, grocery bags in hand as you approached the door to your apartment. You breathed a sigh of exasperation as you inserted a bronze key into the lock, knowing your (not so) little wolf hybrid was going to be in a mood.

He was expecting to tag along on your short outing, but to his annoyance you'd told him to stay behind. You gave him the excuse of 'needing him to guard the house' but the truth was you would be passing a certain convenience store that had a shop cat. Whenever bakugou laid eyes on the cat sitting on the checkout counter from through the window, he would try to fight the poor thing. You always had to pull the growling blond away from the window by his collar, the commotion causing the spooked tabby to scamper away down the snack aisle. All this under the guise of "the fucker needed to be knocked down a peg."

You kick the door back closed from behind. The muffled audio of the tv could be heard ringing throughout the house. Katsuki only watched cooking shows or the nature channel. When it came to the latter, he would occasionally lower himself into a hunting position. As if he was about to strike on the group of bouncing gazelles on screen. It really was quite endearing to watch.

You noticed how Katsuki didn't acknowledge your presence when you walked by. He's pouting, giving you the cold shoulder, all because you didn't take him out with you. He's such a big puppy.

After placing the groceries on the countertop, you rummage around in the bags untill you pulled out a box. Grabbing a couple of its contents to set on the counter, you placed the box and other items in the cobbord before wandering into the livingroom.

Katsuki still refused to look at you, not even spairing a glance. Bright red eyes remaining glued to the pixilated rabbits on the wide screen. But his ears still turned toward you, always listening.

"I'm sorry I couldn't take you outside with me"

It was hard not to crack a grin at his huff

"I promise I'll take you on a walk tomorrow" plopping yourself onto the cushion next to him

He rumbled a low growl, lip curled to reveal a couple teeth to show he was less than satisfied with your answers.

"Here, I got you something"

He finally turned his head to see your hand held out, a cookie rested on your palm. Katsuki quirked a brow at you.

You know he's not really into sweet shit. So the hell is this?

Nevertheless he leaned down to sniff it. It smells... good? Grabbing with his teeth, he takes it into his mouth and it's gone with one chomp.

His tail immediately comes to life, repeatedly colliding with the throw pillows. The thumping of his tail louder than the tv. His gaze is back on you to see your already holding out another. This time he takes it with such haste that he nearly bites your fingers.

Patting him on the head and rubbing his fuzzy ears you get up "I'll go grab some more"

You smile to yourself, not daring to laugh because he would surely hear you, while opening the cabinet. Pulling out the box that reads:

25 pack

Doggy Biscuits

Bacon flavor

You bought these as a joke. Who knew your big bad wolf, Katsuki bakugou, would like dog treats

MASTERLIST

[wolken-himmel]

In which Sam steals (Y/n) away after Crewel and Crowley get into fight on who gets to spend time with the prefect.

So Sam decides to take matters into his own hands.

Request by anon.

"I will take (Y/n) to the amusement park!"

"And why is that?"

"I already planned everything and even bought the tickets. And they weren't cheap! This is just another example of my generosity!"

"But I wanted to take the pup to a fashion show!"

Your two professors have been yelling at each other for the past hour already. You had tried your best to remain patient, but that patience was now slowly running thin — especially since no solution seemed to be in sight.

"Can you... please stop fighting?" you asked weakly.

Grim, whose ears were much more sensitive than yours, let out an aggressive growl. His attempt of blocking out their voices with his paws seemed futile when he removed them from his ears. "Great, they're so busy fighting that they can't hear you..." he grumbled and crossed his arms in disappointment. "And I was so looking forward to doinf something special today!"

"Me too..." A drawn-out sigh escaped your lips when two adults began circling each other, as if this was a brawl. The sight prompted you to pinch yourself, just to make sure that you were still grounded in reality. "But we won't get anywhere at this pace," you concluded sadly after your pinch-test.

"Psh... over here," a scrawny voice whispered.

Your head snapped into the voice's direction — it came from near the bushes and trees that decorated the front of Sam's store. Carefully, you nudged Grim's side and pointed to the flat and black creature on the ground. "Did that... shadow over there just talk?" you asked in confusion.

"Nah, must have been the wind." Grim rolled his eyes in frustration before returning his attention to the bickering professors.

"Over here. Over here..." It was that voice again.

This time, curiosity got the better of you. Your hand grabbed the cat by his arm and dragged him over to the bushes. "I really think the shadow wants something from us, Grim..." you muttered under your breath while narrowing your eyes at the mysterious black patch.

"Shadows don't talk..." Grim clicked his tongue. "You stupid henchhuman."

When your feet came to a halt in front of the shrubbery, you let your gaze wander in search for whoever had called out to you.

You almost screamed when Sam jumped out of the bush next to you. "What's up, little imps," he asked cheerfully.

With your hand resting on your rapidly rising and falling chest, you gazed at him in utter shock. Yet, after a few seconds and with the support of your equally as surprised cat friend, you managed to calm down again. A sheepish smile appeared on your lips as you asked, "Oh, Sam... So that shadow was your trick?" You eyed him curiously.

"You got it! I got curious about all the yelling in front of my store and went to check it out." A few leaves and branches clung to his clothes, which he now removed with ease. Yet, when he raised his gaze and found your eyes sunken with sadness, he let out a concerned gasp. "Are you alright, little imp?"

You lowered your gaze. "Crowley and Crewel are just fighting again..."

His magenta eyes softened in pity after he had quickly assessed the situation — from where you stood, the two professors could still be heard arguing loud and clear. The store owner shook his head in disbelief. "Poor you..." His one hand resting on your shoulder, the other gestured to the small building next to you. "You know what? Why don't you come into the store. I'll make you a nice cup of tea."

You tried your best at a smile, although it turned out a little bit wonky around the edges. "Thanks, Sam..."

"I even have some tuna-flavoured biscuits for you, kitty," the store owner announced, chuckling.

At that, Grim leapt into the air gleefully. "You're the best, Sam!"

Without wasting another second — and without Crowley and Crewel noticing your absence — Sam led you inside his store. The door creaked comfortingly under his touch and barely produced any sound when it fell it into the hinges behind you. A certain warmth came wafting your way, somehow vanquishing the chill from your bones. Without the shouting from the professors, you felt much more at ease by now.

And there were all sorts of interesting things to distract you.

"Try not to touch any of the glowing stuff. Might be dangerous," Sam warned when he found you staring at a crystal ball. "Oh and also— don't put anything in your mouth. Yes, Grim... I'm looking at you."

The cat in question gasped, offended. "Me? I would never!"

Sam and you laughed at the pout on the cat's face. Quicker than you had realised, the three of you arrived in the backroom to the store, accessible through the door behind the cash register. You could barely see a thing since candles were the only source of light. But, the small amount of light allowed you to notice strange forms and masses of complete blackness seated at the table. All of them possessed a pair of glowing eyes.

These looked just like the shadow that had lured you over to Sam a few minutes earlier.

"Here, take a seat," the store owner announced and gently nudged you to the free chairs. "Everyone, these are (Y/n) and Grim."

Your cat friend looked hesitant when one of the shadows began grinning at him. "That one has sharp teeth, (Y/n)..." he muttered and pressed himself into your side.

Sam began laughing upon noticing his fear. "Don't worry, Grim. None of them bite," he trailed off innocently. "They might nibble a little bit, though."

"That's not funny!"

Despite the protests, Grim and you soon found yourselves seated at the table, sandwiched in-between his friends from the shadow realm, as Sam had explained. In front of you, all sorts of biscuits and tea cups decorated the table — but you found yourself too intimidated by the shadows to help yourself to some of the food.

A shadow next to you seemed to have sensed your hesitancy. "May I offer you some beignets?" she asked you and held the plate with the pastries out to you.

"Oh, thank you..." You flashed her a nervous smile and quickly snatched one of the puffy treats for yourself.

"Would you like some tea?" another shadow chimed in and picked up the kettle.

"Yes please," you said, slowly but surely easing up by now.

The other shadows watched you in amusements, none of them seeming to hold any ill intentions. The shadow to your left seemed especially fond of you. "Oh my! Such a well-behaved human!" she chimed and let out a few squeals. "And so pretty, too. You look so... lively."

The joke sent you drowning in laughter.

"That wasn't even all that funny." Grim watched you sceptically as you laughed your soul out.

"Your cat's humour is dead~" another shadow exclaimed.

That remark caused your laughter to increase tenfold. Luckily, you had managed to set down your tea cup just in time before the laughter had overwhelmed you — lest you spilled any boiling tea on yourself.

Sam eyed you in satisfaction. "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, impling. That's some interesting humour you have going on for yourself," he mumbled proudly. A few of his shadow friends even extended their arms to give him a high-five.

"Thanks for cheering me up, Sam," you said through your wheezing. "Though I do wonder what Crowley and Crewel are doing right now..."

°

°

°

Bonus:

"I hate roller coasters and you, Crowley... So why am I here right now?"

The wind whipped past the two grown men as they sat in the middle wagon, surrounded by small children to their front and back. Whenever they rolled through a looping, Crowley began cheering and screaming with joy — perhaps a little twinge of fear, too. Crewel, on the other hand, sat next next him with an unaffected visage and crossed arms.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Crowley yelled over to his colleague. "Besides, I couldn't let those two tickets go to waste! I already paid for the full price for them, and there is a rule that says no refunds..."

Crewel exhaled in dread when he saw another looping approaching. "Where did I go wrong in life..."

[vxiphoid]

RAINY REVERIE

❨ summary ❩ obey me › things they would do to cheer you up. hearts and minds have a tendency to break when there are too many thoughts in your head at once, how would they help?

tags ✧ nb!reader, established relationship, reader is going through it😞, slightly suggestive in lucifer’s part?, IM SORRY IF YOU HAVE A CAT ALLERGY (mammon), idol slander, bathing together, itty bitty angst in belphie’s.

amanuensis’ message ⊹ i tried to make the reader a bit different for each brother because people deal with being upset differently… but hello?? theres like 130 of you now, tysm for all of the support, i love you all sm sm :(<33

⌜ 2.5+ ⌟

obey me masterlist

LUCIFER

♫ wishful thinking - benee

╰ he understands more than anyone how stressful school or work can be. doesn’t help that rad piles more shit on as you advance. he’s offered to give you a message, pressing small kisses in his wake before smearing oil onto your skin.

“you did so well today.” lucifer praises gently against your skin, thumbing the junction between your shoulder blades. you sigh contentedly as he massages into your muscles with ease, his fingers brushing your skin in gentle strokes to help ease out the knots and tension that have accumulated over the day. you inhale sharply at the contact, and a small smile quirks up the corners of your mouth when you hear him hum happily at your reaction. “your hands feel good, not that i don’t like the feeling of your gloves, your hands just feel better. i like your hands on me.” you murmur, leaning further back into his touch, basking in his affectionate caress. there was a stutter in lucifer’s movements as he stiffened momentarily before relaxing once more, but it didn’t deter his hand from its progress. “well, i know that… i figured i take my gloves off a lot in your company since you like the feeling of them so much.” he murmurs, sounding slightly embarrassed by his own statement as he continues to massage at your shoulders. he makes sure his thumbs are positioned correctly on either side of your spine, his touch feather light. “i thought this was pure?” you ask teasingly, peering over your shoulder. lucifer gives you an unamused look, pushing harder into the small of your back which elicits another soft sigh from you. “this is pure. you’re tainting it.”

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MAMMON

♫ (your cat) don’t stand a chance - mustard service

╰ last thing he wants is you going to bed angry or upset in any way. even if it isn’t his fault he still feels like he needs to spoil you to make it better? so, he gets you something. in a box, a big box. yk nothing bad, just something he prolly shouldn’t have bought…

“heeey, pretty… so i know you’re having a really bad day ‘n shit but how would you feel if i brought you a cat?” mammon asked, stiffly pushing open his bedroom door with his shoulder, a light looking box in his arms. you eye him, hard. “what’s in the box, mammon.” the mewls of protest from within spoke for itself. when you bursted into his room clearly pissed off, mammon was already on his way out, kissing you and promising he’d be right back he just needed to grab some stuff. by stuff you didn’t think he’d be at the pet store buying a kitten, especially this breed. maine cats are expensive, he even went out of his way to buy toys and the necessities. you thought you would have been mad about it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to be as the little baby ran around trying to catch a feather you swung around. the kitten finds rest in mammon’s mess of hair, likes to be carried around in hoodie pockets, and makes biscuits with it’s beans on your back. you couldn’t be mad at all, both the small fur ball and your boyfriend cleared all the stress you had. mammon lied down beside you in the floor, watching you jerk around the stick for the kitten to tail, he rests his head your shoulder. “you feelin’ better?” you nod with a natural smile and he kisses your shoulder. “good.” you say nothing, instead you pull him close and cuddle together on the floor, the kitten pawing mammon’s head before curling up for a nap. you smile, holding out your pinky. “don’t tell satan?” mammon takes your finger, pressing your thumb with his. “‘course not.”

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LEVIATHAN

♫ honey - red hearse

╰ levi was already dressed for a midnight walk when you came in, he figured you needed one too just to clear your mind. helps you put on your shoes and jacket while you rant about how horrible your day was, kisses your cheek while you two leave the house.

your boyfriend treats this like any other day, not in an ignoring way, no. he figures he’d rather listen to your rant then try to see the other person’s (asshole) side. in plus, if you get it all out of your system, you won’t be so pent up. he buys you your regular drink and holds it for you while you express your anger with your hands, bringing the straw to your mouth when you need a pause. “—and it wasn’t even my shift!” you huff, sipping your drink when levi brings it to you. “thank you, i love you. anyways, this bitch—“ you could go on and on for hours and he wouldn’t get tired of hearing your voice. eventually he’d tug you into one of those 24 hour cafes and request an outdoor seating area, preferably where there isn’t people. when your rant seemingly comes to a close, your forehead meets with levi’s shoulder with a heavy sigh. he kisses your crown, “d’you want anything off the menu? they still serve breakfast if you want any.” he smiles when you nod. “thank you for listening, i know that was a lot. ‘just been stressed.” his hand slips into yours, kissing the back of it. “i’m here for you whenever.” and he means it. you know that levi would give you literally anything in the world, he’d do anything for you and the little things only add to how precious he is.

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SATAN

♫ structure - odd sweetheart

╰ satan is a ticking time bomb when he’s mad, he may look okay but one minor inconvenience will send him over the edge. the plus side is that he knows most of the methods that could calm anyone down. those methods are watching really bad shows and their cringy acting.

the click of the spacebar signaled that you paused the show for the ninth time tonight, the silence loud between you and satan as you both stared at the blinding screen. his expression mirrored yours; slightly gaped mouth, squinted eyes, and meeting a glance before they returned to the frozen show. “she didn’t just kiss her husband to be’s brother after having a one night stand with their father…” he said quietly in disbelief. “on her wedding day.” you mumbled, forking around your takeout noodles in its cup. satan opened his mouth and you fed him some, treating yourself quickly afterwards. “y’all would watch anything at this point, kill your producer!” you and satan have been bingeing this horrible romance show for so long you completely forgot what time you even started watching it. its so ridiculous, not worse than idol, but still horrible. satan, on the other hand, was just glad you were enjoying yourself after a soiled day. you catch his eye and grin slightly, “what?” he shrugs with his mouth, turning back to the show. “nothing.” “mm, you want something, what is it?” you prodded again, leaning forward and giving him an inquisitive stare. you were sure you weren’t getting an answer by the way he was twirling his fork, so you leaned into him, brushing his hair away to press a kiss to his jaw, that caught his attention. “thank you, satan. for cheering me up.” you whispered to him sweetly. his lips curled up at the edges. “anything for you, love.” your eyes dart back to the screen after what you thought you saw actually happened. “she’s making out with their dad now?! go back, go back!!”

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ASMODEUS

♫ bad behavior - austin mills & remi wolf

╰ he knew that as soon as you walked into his room silent something was wrong. he just got out of the shower and you hugged him. you hugged him tighter than you usually do, and he noticed. he’s never seen you so deflated, tears filling your lash line. fortunately, asmo knows the perfect way to calm you down.

“okay baby, do you want hot pink or pink?” your eyes flick between the two headbands from your spot on the bathroom counter. you know they’re basically the same color, but it doesn't stop you from trying to guess which one is cuter. “hot pink.” you say finally, nodding in the direction of the headband in asmo’s right hand. “correct answer, you weren’t allowed to choose anything else.” asmo slips on your fuzzy headband and you snort as he carefully adjusted it on your head. “why’d you ask then?” you tease. asmo shrugs, leaning in closer to press a quick kiss under your eye. “so we can match!” after your emotional feeling day, your boyfriend suggested you join him in his skincare to take your mind off of everything for a bit. you agreed immediately, happy at the opportunity. you’ve been so stressed lately, working part time at a small coffee shop near campus while attending classes full time, and not having time to spend quality time with your boyfriend made you feel like you had let him down. you were grateful he was offering to help you out though. asmo’s finger hooked under your chin, using a silicone spatula to smear on a cool peel off mask onto your other cheek. you instinctively wrap your legs around his waist and he grins, pecking your lips before getting back to work on your mask. little whisps of champagne hair escaped from his headband, his tongue sticking from the side of his mouth while the mask between his brows crinkled in concentration. asmo always did this whenever he focused particularly hard, so you didn’t interrupt him even if he did start to ramble about something or another. you couldn’t get enough of watching him make himself so at peace with his surroundings. your lips meet his palm gently, and he quickly got the paragraph hidden behind such a small act. “you’re welcome, baby.”

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BEELZEBUB

♫ grey luh - berhana

╰ beel knows that even himself needs a bit of time alone before he’s ready for any interaction so he let’s you have you’re time. while he waits, beel prepares a bath of pure relaxation. scented candles, various different bath bombs, and even one of those bath tables.

you groan exasperatedly as beel lifts you from the warm embrace of your duvets, “i know, i know, i’m sorry. you can go back to bed in a minute…” he assures you, his voice soft and droopy. you’re about to protest but he shushes you by kissing you softly on the lips. “i know you need this.” with that you stop your whining and hum quietly, accepting a loving defeat. you were already starting to nod off against beel’s chest til your nose caught whiff of vanilla and the cold tiles of the bathroom under your feet as he set you down. the bath was filled with crystal clear water, a blue tint shimmering over the liquid due to the relaxing lighting. there were candles and various oils and body washes littering the shelves of the bathtub with a scent that was both sweet and refreshing at the same time. it was almost overwhelming in its complexity but it was also perfect because beel always made sure everything had an effect that would make you happy, calm, relax. “your week has been stressful so i wanted to make you something even it it isn’t a lot.” you smile brightly up at him, eyes shining with love for him despite still having bags underneath them, which he brushes away with another tender kiss. you already began to strip, your bones were aching for warm bubbling water on your skin. “just relax, okay? i’ll take care of you and we can go back to bed after dinner.” you pause just as you dip your leg into the water, “you’re not joining me?” beel blinks at you owlishly, mouth opening and closing a few times as if trying to find words, “you wanted me to join?” you blink back at him, confused until he finally says something intelligible again, “yes? why wouldn’t i want you to join me?” he smiles at you, a small and gentle curve of his lips that you couldn’t help smiling back at him. he wastes no time settling down behind you, your body immediately melting into his, the heat radiating out of him and warming you up like never before. “better?” he questions, hand rubbing your back soothingly, his other arm wrapped snugly around your waist. your head rested on his shoulder, arms loosely wrapping around his own torso. “absolutely. thank you.”

┏━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━ ─ ╴⋯ ⟢

BELPHEGOR

♫ valentina - dreamer isioma

╰ usually naps off his anger or sadness, basically letting it build up silently, naps do help him but he knows that naps won’t erase anybody’s pain in, like, two hours. belphie makes you a little care package; essential oils, sugar scrub, candles, sweets, blanket, plushies, melatonin gummies for the sleepless nights, headphones, etc… it was a rare sight seeing belphie out of bed and productive, instead your roles being swapped.

the attic’s stairs creaked as belphie ascended to where you were curled up on his bed. he approaches slowly, stretching his neck out a bit to check if you were sleeping. fortunately, you were not. “hey, babe? i got you something…” belphie muttered. you turned your head slightly, the glow from your d.d.d illuminating your face. belphie sat down next to you, laying out what was clearly a care package on a bedside table. the colors were subtle, a nice slightly desaturated blue with white accents for bows on the bag, few constellations littered the design. “you didn’t need to waste your money on me, belph.” you sigh, holding his face in your hand, belphie leans into your touch. “it wasn’t a waste. you’ve worked so hard.” he smiles as he kisses your palm. “plus, nothing’s a waste if its for you.” there was some static in the room, it made the atmosphere even more intimate. belphie rests his head against yours, taking a deep breath in. you smelled nice, and belphie felt immensely calm. “do you want anything else, hun? i could cook dinner…” belphie trails off, rubbing circles onto your arm. he feels you shake your head, “you’re more than enough. i’ll open the gift in a second, promise, just need you.” belphie kisses the top of your head, resting his cheek on top of it. there was static again, the feeling only growing more prominent as he pressed a kiss to your temple, “i love you.” you turn slightly to face belphie, placing your lips against his, they were soft, sweet, and tasted like honey and vanilla. you felt the tension plaguing your body ebb away, you relaxed into your lover. belphie pulls back, pressing another chaste kiss on your forehead, “i love you the most.”

[harrysmimi]

Kids In The Kitchen

Synopsis: One where Harry walks in on his girls jamming to Taylor Swift songs whilst making cookies. Later he has a nice chat with his daughter with loads of snuggles.

More of my work

Harry never knew how big of a Swiftie his wife was up until their wedding preparations started.

She didn't had to convince him much to make a playlist of just her songs to be played at their reception. Well, to feed into her obsession he invited Taylor to their wedding and YN had lost it that day. Their wedding night was also the night they both found out they're gonna have a baby.

Yeah, he dated Ms. Swift but his missus could careless. She's in fact jealous of him, her words.

It was inevitable that their children are going to be big Swifties as well. Even her cats seem to be smitten, who are named August and Archer.

Moon, their daughter has been listening to Taylor's music since she was still in womb. Harry knew it was going to happen.

He'd just returned home from gym to find The Man playing on a blast. Little Moon was jumping and dancing with her mother, which is nice. She's fallen sick last night, high fever and cold had made her all drowsy and sleepy. She wasn't herself all day. Both of the girls were dressed in their sweats and matching Lover hoodies.

Harry still doesn't know where YN found that tiny hoodie.

"If I was a man, the I'd me the man!" Moon sang the last lines. Surprisingly hitting right notes.

Why wouldn't she, her mum is a music teacher and her dad is a singer. Music runs in her blood. But for a two year old (soon Three!), her vocabulary is very developed, so is her pronounciation.

"Mummy!" She gasped when Love Story came on jumping and clapping her tiny hands together. "We were both when I first saw you..." And he sang along.

"Jesus, you know all the words?" Harry was surprised.

"Papa!" She ran towards him and hugged his legs excited. "Mummy and I making biscuits!"

"That sounds so delicious!" Harry gasped in amusement as he picked up his princess and walked back in kitchen, he greeted his wife a kiss.

"'cause you were Romeo an' I was scarlet let'er and my daddy sai' stay away f'om Juliet..." Moon sang looking at her Mummy who joined her and they sang the entire song together she clung onto her dad.

"Yeah, daddy is going to ask them to stay away from Juliet. You're too young for a Romeo." Harry squinted his eyes.

"Silly Papa!" Moon chuckled as she cuddled his side.

"You feeling any better now princess." He placed a kiss on her cheek and checked for her temprature with the back of his hand. She was still a little warm.

"Lil." She shared.

"Alright, Papa needs to shower." He placed her back on her feet carefully, but she was quick to climb back on her little step stool to help her mum. And eat the rest of chocolate chips.

Harry glanced at YN once before, she looked very tired. Fair enough, she's had a long week at work and Moon kept both of them last night. Whilst he got to get in some sleep she couldn't because Moon wanted her last night. He was going to force her to take a nap right after he's showered.

"Mummy I do it?" She looked up at her mum wanting to pour in the melted butter.

......................................................................

The chocolate chip biscuits were being put into oven Harry came back out. Moon stood afar. She's a very obedient baby, she knows the real oven is dangerous for her to use just yet. She can still play with the pretend kitchen her dad bought for her as she was throwing a tantrum at the toy store.

She absolutely loves it!

Harry's sure she's going to be a Chef when she grows up as she's always after him or her mum during meal prep. It is always a nice sensory play for her, playing with the food of different textures, eat some too, and wear most of it.

But yesterday she wanted to be a Superhero and help people out when she's grown up. So who knows!

Now even Moon looks tired and drowsy with her medications making her all sleepy. She could use a nap too.

"Baby, do you want to go take a nap?" He asked hi wife, "you look very tired."

"Oh yeah!" YN agreed. Harry was proud of her for saying that.

It has taken her a long time to adjust and take time for herself. Coming from a very conservative family (Moon being born just six months after their wedding stirred up some family drama from her side) and growing up with her mum around most of time, all she knew was it was her sols job to be there for Moon.

Harry had done everything possible to tell her he's there by her side, and she doesn't have to feel guilty about asking for help. So seeing her agree for taking a nap in a heartbeat, melted his heart.

"Moo-moo do you want to take a nap as well?" He asked.

"Ummm..." She put a thought to it, her chubby pointer finger on her chin, "No!" She announced, "I wan'o watch Miss Amewicana Papa?" She made a puppy face at him.

She knows she's not allowed screen time more than a few minutes, she's also learnt that her puppy face works on her father. He of course agreed.

"Okay, let's go lay on the sofa, yeah?" He suggested, "Mummy can rest in her room and we can have a lot of fun!"

"Yay!" She squealed. "Mummy, go sleep!"

"Okay, your highness." YN chuckled, "you sure you can be alone?"

"Of course." He assured her.

"Okay, please take out the biscuits when the alarm goes off on my phone. I'm going to leave it out." She shared.

"I will baby," he nodded. She walked over to him and gave him a quick kiss on the mouth.

Harry and Moon got all cosy on the sofa. Her dad spooning her as she was buried under her Blankie.

Yeah, she's got a Blankie now!

They were halfway through the he documentary, he remembered to take out the cookies. Harry never in his wildest dreams ever saw watching a Music documentary of his long time Ex with his daughter. But here he was. Moon looked up at him, "Papa is that real?"

"What is real princess?" He was confused, watched her point her finger to the TV.

"That." She said, "Is she real?"

He chuckled, "of course baby." He answered.

"Mummy and I love her swongs!" She smiled, "she's very cute too. I have hair like her!"

She talked half sleepy, realising she's got blonde hair too which were slowly starting to get darker. She takes up a lot after Harry in that aspect, she's bis copy print, except few of her attributes and habits like her mummy.

Moon is perfect mixture of both of parents!

"You do, don't you?" He hummed, "you know when Papa was your age, he had same hair at yours."

"You were small?" She looked surprised.

"Yes!" He nodded, "everyone is small and they grow up. You're going to grow up too."

"I want to be like Papa when I grow up then!" She grinned, showing off her tiny teeth, "I want to be this tall." She raised her hand as far as she could to show how tall she wants to be, "just like Papa!"

"Yeah?" He was amused and smitten by the little girl, "you can be whoever you want to be. Papa will love you no matter what!"

"I love you!" She reciprocated and got back to watching her favourite documentary.

"You know Papa does that too?" He asked. She's yet to be at any of his shows.

Harry wants to keep her out of media and lime light. She can always get a private concert from her dad, he could play all her favourite Cocomelon and Taylor Swift songs at home.

It wasn't expected, but Harry has grown too protective of his little baby. When she's old enough, she can decide for herself. He'd take her everywhere she asks him to. Because no matter how hard they try to keep her away from cameras, there are those slight chances of all their efforts failing.

People hate on his wife enough already. He doesn't want that for his daughter who really did not chose to be born to a famous parent.

"Yeah! Mummy said you go an' play your music for your fwends." She nodded, "you have a lot of fwends?"

"Yeah, a lot of friends." He agreed.

"Does Taylor do that too?" Her questions kept coming.

"Mhmm!"

"Can we go?" She gasped.

"You want to go see Taylor Swift concert?" He was surprised what for he didn't know.

"Mhmm, is it somewhere we can go?" She asked, because the other day she wanted to go where Dragons from Dragon Tales live. She was left disappointed as it is not a real place.

"Yeah it is somewhere we can go, darling." He assured her, "you want to go?"

"Mhmm!"

"Papa will see what he can do then," he wasn't going to let his little princess down.

The Princess gets what princess wants!

"Can Mummy go too?"

"You know she will go with us baby." He shared. No way YN is going to be skipping a Taylor Swift concert!

"When can we go?"

"Umm... I'll let you know a month before, so you and mummy can plan your little outfits, yeah?" He suggested.

"You can dress up?"

"Of course you can." He chuckled at her amusement, "you can do whatever you want to."

Moon's questions kept coming as they talked. She got distracted many times during her favourite songs playing in the background.

She talks a lot. She's also very curious about every little thing he sees. The talking alot, she gets from her dad. Harry sometimes doesn't know how to answer her questions the way her two year old brain would understand. And he honestly doesn't know how his wife and people around him bare with him as well.

He never knew a lot of talking can be frustrating sometimes. But he isn't complaining, he loves hearing Moon talk. Her little babbles sometimes make no sense but she's adorable so she can have a pass on it.

She finally fell asleep after and hour of talking and singing along to the documentory. So did Harry.

With a thought of how he's going to take his little baby to see her favourite person perform live. He's going to have to put a lot of effort into getting the VIP tickets. Which he's willing to do.

......................................................................

N O T E :

This is in honour of The Eras Tour starting. Ik I'm late. But it's a good time for us Swifties. *Cries ferociously in India*

......................................................................

Tag list:

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[idontknowreallywhy]

Another instalment of dinky Scott at School - I think there are (as yet unwritten) scenes in between these but I figured I’d get the key ones down then have a look and decide if it’s actually a story to flesh out or just a series of snapshots to leave as is.

Apologies to any actual teachers who may notice I am playing fast and loose with how such things might work in real life.

Disclaimer: Teeny Scooter does not actually appear in this bit, but is much discussed…

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THE Jeff Tracy.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t spent most of the night revising the 6 bullet points she wanted to cover in that one 12-minute parent-teacher conference. She’d quietly ensured the slot immediately afterwards was unbookable just in case things… overran.

None of the other teachers had met him, only the mother, who by all accounts was very pleasant. She hadn’t expected him to come, assuming he was probably on the moon or something equally intrepid. But the little box next to the number 2 had been ticked on the form so unless it was a grandparent or something…

The fancier biscuits she’d picked up from the store had just been a whim… sometimes she wanted to bring a bit of luxury into proceedings, that’s all it was…

Oh heck she’d bought fancy biscuits. Just like the hopeless fangirl she was. As if he’d notice anyway?

The first parent had noticed and seemed to enjoy their chocolate dipped Viennese finger biscuit. So it was worth it.

The second set of parents hadn’t turned up at all which left her with an agonising 18 minute wait.

It was fine. Just another PTC with some totally normal parents hoping to hear what a delight their precious offspring was. And she intended to thoroughly emphasise that part right at the outset because he really was.

The other notes she had would also be fine because she had considered every possible way of delivering them and had figured out the most persuasive.

All. Fine.

She needed another word for fine.

A gentle tap-de-tap and the door cracked open to reveal a waterfall of red hair and a very friendly face. Behind, even taller than he looked on tv, towered the man from the all those documentaries she’d binge-watched as a student.

Definitely just a normal PTC.

Felicity Miles, teacher, champion of tiny people, competent human, took a breath and greeted the couple with professional confidence and a welcoming smile.

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In the last five years she’d broken similar news to four other sets of parents, and observed her mentor do similar in her training year. Not a big enough sample to be conclusive but the fact the reaction had been the same each time had lulled her into a complacency about what to expect.

It went something like - shocked faces, initial denial, possibly a little anger, guilt that they hadn’t known, 3 of the mothers and 2 of the fathers had cried. Then, usually, she could see a little relief creeping in…. The hope that it hadn’t been something they’d got Wrong after all.

And then a brief conversation about what could happen next and arrangement of a meeting to discuss further when they’d had time to think. She’d hand them the department of education-approved info leaflets and smile and promise it would all be alright.

This one wasn’t going the way it should.

To start with there was zero surprise. Not even a flicker. In fact they’d looked at each other and smiled, before patiently listening to the rest of her little monologue. Right up until she started outlining the stages in the school’s neurodiversity support pathway at which point Mr Tracy had lifted a hand and cut in:

“There’ll be no need for anything formal. He’ll learn to manage his difficulties and he’ll overcome them.”

Felicity did her best to ignore the calm tone in his voice that simultaneously commanded she agree with him, advised it was a done deal not worth fighting against and reassured her that he was obviously right and it was all for the best. She pictured the desperate little human curled up in the Octopus House and tapped into the protective rage it generated:

“I don’t think you understand, Mr Tracy. A diagnosis would mean he could get that little bit of extra support he needs, perhaps a Teaching Assistant to keep him on track and help with refocussing when he gets distracted. He could have occasional time out on special programs to develop his interests, as I said he really does excel at maths and…”

“Ms Miles, please stop there a moment.”

She did so.

A few seconds later she remembered to close her mouth.

“Are you aware of what Scott wants more than anything in the world?”

She clenched her jaw in an effort not to snark back “a glimmer of self-esteem?” and thought about what seemed to make her zoomy little friend the happiest. The answer left her mouth before she was aware she knew it:

“He wants to fly.”

It was his mother who sighed and spoke next, the slight unevenness of her voice probably undetectable to someone who hadn’t spoken to a LOT of exhausted parents:

“He does. He always has from the moment he realised he couldn’t. Even before he really understood what airplanes were, he’s been fascinated by them and has been determined to reach the sky to join them. He seems to view gravity as a personal insult…” she chuckled then added “Being a parent to Scott Tracy is 90% catching him as he leaps from places he shouldn’t according to all the laws of physics be able to reach.”

Her husband reached over and squeezed her hand with an affectionate smile and added in a much softer tone:

“In his pram he watched the birds, it was the only thing that settled him. You won’t be surprised to learn that all of his bedroom decorations are aircraft-related. He’s not even remotely interested in space travel or what his mother and I do other than that we both flew planes first.”

Felicity could see it all but felt the conversation had gone off on a tangent. She took charge again and tried a different tack:

“But to achieve his goal he is going to need to have decent grades at the end of his education and the foundation of that starts here. He has so much potential and… look, I couldn’t give a damn about the class interruptions, please don’t think that is what this is about. I can handle all that, it’s what’s going on in his head, how he sees himself and I think we need to have something in place so that he and all his future teachers understand that… I hate to say it but for some, a formal diagnosis is the only way to persuade people that a child isn’t deliberately…”

“Ms Miles.”

The sigh escaped this time.

“Yes, Mr Tracy?”

“Do you happen to know the criteria one must fulfil to train as either a commercial airline or a military pilot?”

“Offhand? Not, precisely, no.”

“There is also an exclusionary list. Certain conditions, diagnoses, other events on a medical record that may prove to be a barrier to acceptance. Many people in the field don’t agree with everything on the list, but at the moment it exists. You’re clearly a smart woman, Ms Miles, and I can tell you’ve already worked out one of the conditions noted on that list.”

He wasn’t wrong. She hadn’t released her breath since the word ‘exclusionary’. But it forced its way out now in a quiet groan and then a whisper:

“ADHD.”

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[teaboot]

Things that I am convinced are broke family culture:

Main dinner food is "filler" like rice or potato, then a lil meat or veggie.

One bowl or smthn is the designated puke bucket.

Fighting over the one couch cushion that isn't deflated/stained/torn open/got a spring sticking in it

"A door is a privilege not a right" cause there's nothing else they can take away

Clothes and shoes are bought a couple sizes too big so you "have room to grow"

Thrift store thrift store thrift store thrift store

Fighting your siblings for "the good blanket" (soft but lumpy, stuffing wadded up inside) or "the good pillow" (belonged to one of your parents before you were born)

Sneaking naps on your parents bed cause their mattress hits different

"You're not going to school today cause your younger sibling is sick and I gotta go to work"

Making cash under the table doing work for the neighbors at age 9

Biscuit tin full of sewing supplies

The 3 types of sandwich: PB&J, Ham and butter, cheese and mayo.

Watering down the juice to make it last longer

Watering down the soap to make it last longer

Stashing your Halloween candy like it's hard drugs and rationing it till fucking Easter

Your parents clothes are your clothes now

[elisela]

you’re my only hope sterek, 1k, thanksgiving fluff

--

“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”

“Derek!” Stiles says, looking frantically around the kitchen, phone shoved between his ear and shoulder. “I know that usually you’re supposed to thaw the turkey for days but last night I was nominated as the place to go for everyone who didn’t have a place to go and all the store had was a fifteen pound frozen solid turkey and I’ve left it out since I bought it but the damn thing is still frozen solid and I’m supposed to serve it in four hours. What the hell am I supposed to do?”

The wooden spoon he’d been looking for is balanced on the open refrigerator door. He snatches it up and spins to stir the gravy, the only thing he could think to make ahead of time that Lydia won’t kill him for nuking in the microwave right before dinner.

“You can cook it from frozen. It’ll take longer, about five hours, but serve some drinks and your friends will be fine waiting.”

Stiles looks at the compound butter he’d gotten—he can read recipes, thank you, he��s just in a panic—and frowns. “What am I supposed to do about, you know, seasoning?”

“Pull it after two hours and season it then. You’ll have to baste it, but you’ll be okay.”

“Great,” Stiles says, then curses when he realizes he’d laid his dish towel too close to the burner and it’s smoking. “Thanks!”

-----

“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”

“This isn’t a turkey question, is that okay?”

The voice that comes through the line sounds almost amused. “We’re here to answer all of your Thanksgiving dinner related questions.”

Stiles taps the pie pan on the counter. He’s unsure if it’s necessary, but he’s seen people do it to regular cakes on YouTube, so why not? “Dangerous,” he says, “because I have a lot of questions. Like—why? How is this the thing you want to spend your time doing on your holiday? What are your qualifications, anyway? Because for all I know you could be making shit up, but I have to admit the turkey is no longer frozen solid under your possibly-sound advice. Which leads me to: can I bake a cheesecake at the same time as a turkey? The oven’s at 375 if that makes a difference.”

“If that—you shouldn’t be cooking your turkey at 375!”

Derek sounds affronted, and Stiles would find that cute—at least he finds his semi-outraged voice cute because for God’s sake, it’s a turkey—but he doesn’t have the time. “The cheesecake, Derek. Can I do the cheesecake at the same time?”

“Not unless you’re good with soggy turkey skin. The steam from the water bath will affect it too much.”

Stiles frowns. “Yeah, the … water bath,” he says, and hopes it doesn’t sound like he has no idea what he’s doing. “What if I don’t mind soggy turkey skin?”

“You mind soggy turkey skin,” Derek says firmly, and Stiles laughs.

----

“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”

“Seriously, you’ve been at this for three hours,” Stiles says, because he had fully expected to get someone else on the line. Unless Derek is the sole employee—volunteer? He has no clue—he should have gotten someone else by now.

“Try eight,” Derek says. “Please tell me you turned the turkey down.”

“I’d feel bad lying to you,” Stiles says, grinning. “So it turns out I forgot the rolls, and I have a box of pancake mix but it says I need eggs, which I don’t have because I used them all in the cheesecake. Help me, Obi Wan, you’re my only hope.”

There’s a pause, and Stiles has a moment to hope he hasn’t broken Derek’s brain before he finally replied. “Oh, you’re thinking about making biscuits.”

“That’s what I said,” Stiles says, poking at the cheese sauce for his hopefully tolerable mac and cheese.

“You did not, but you don’t need eggs. Or pancake mix. Google a recipe for drop biscuits and so help me do not bake them at the same time as the turkey.”

“Aww, you know me so well, boo,” Stiles coos, and flips off the burner. “Why do you do this, anyway?”

“So people like you don’t give your friends and family food poisoning,” Derek says. “You’re safe, by the way, if you keep roasting the turkey at 375. It’ll be charred.”

“Drama queen,” Stiles mutters, and then puts his foot in his mouth by asking, “you’re not too busy cooking your own dinner?”

“My family’s across the country,” Derek says after just a moment. “My sister usually made dinner for us and her friends, but she just got married so she’s with his family.”

“Sucks, dude,” Stiles says, cursing when the doorbell rings. “Gotta go. Hopefully Scotty brought the alcohol or I’m gonna have a riot when they learn the food’s not ready. Thanks again.”

He hangs up, pauses, and calls right back.

“Turkey hotline, this is Derek.”

“Derek,” Stiles says, “you should come over here. We’ve got plenty of food. Some of it even edible, thanks to you.” He gives him his address before he loses his nerve, adds in a few key landmarks he’s near just in case, and hangs up before Derek can respond.

---

Lydia looks at him suspiciously when the bell rings, glancing around the room like she’s mentally counting the people in it and wondering who the hell else Stiles knows that’s not currently in the room, which, rude, but he’ll deal with that later.

Or not. He probably won’t bring it up at all, because she would have been right if he hadn’t been calling the turkey helpline all day, and he doesn’t want to get into it.

For now he sidesteps Scott, who had been helpfully on his way to the door, straightens his shirt, and flings it open.

Holy good Jesus.

He probably gapes—not his most attractive look, but he can’t be blamed when the man standing on his front porch is the literal definition of perfection. “Hi,” he manages to say, “Derek?”

It’s probably not Derek. It’s probably Jackson’s new boyfriend checking up on him, or a neighbor ready to yell at him for taking up so many parking spaces with his guest’s cars, or—

“I never caught your name,” the man says, and it’s Derek’s voice, it’s Derek, and Stiles is still standing like an idiot half-hanging out the door.

“Stiles,” he says, and waves a hand automatically to brush off the inevitable question. “I’m glad you came. Come in, come in.”

Derek’s shrugging out of his leather jacket, and if Stiles wasn’t already formulating ideas to make Derek fall in love with him, he certainly is the moment it comes off and reveals a soft looking maroon sweater underneath it. “Well, you said I was your only hope. Come on, Skywalker, show me your kitchen.”

[dullgecko]

Favorite Desserts; Bad Kids Edition

With a side of family memories ^^

----

Adaine: Earl Grey Cheesecake

While she didn't enjoy the stuffy atmosphere of the Abernant residence (no mementos around the house except in the bedrooms, rarely any blankets or pillows because her parents didn't see any need for them since they trance, etc.), afternoon tea was always served with tiny square pieces of Earl Grey Cheesecake along with other pastries. Adaine found them delicious, and even after leaving her family, she scoured the town for a pastry shop that could replicate it, but soon gave up. When she moved into Morded Manor, Jawbone overheard her gushing about it to Kristin and Fig. He jumped at the challenge, and one day after school Adaine came home to find a beautifully decorated slice of it on the counter with a note saying "Adaine ♡" beside the plate. It was the best cheesecake she'd ever eaten.

----

Gorgug: Bread and Apple Pudding

Every Moonar Yulenear Digby and Wilma will make a bread pudding and serve it with cinnamon apples and a scoop of ice-cream. When he was five, he asked how it was made. Wilma told him that the secret ingredient was love. Corny as it was, Gorgug was completely convinced that all it took to make the dessert was put some bread and apples down on the counter and "I love you," and it'd turn into pudding. When he was nine, Wilma and Digby let him join in on making the pudding. It became apparent that his previous theory was not the case. However, right at the end, Digby gave his wife a kiss and hugged Gorgug's leg, and that's when he realized what Wilma meant. He makes it every year with them, and sometimes without them. (He prefers with.)

----

Fig: Fried Ice-Cream

When Fig was seven, Gilear took her out to a small, family-run diner near the edge of town for lunch. She had empanadas and her father had a kinda pathetic looking ham sandwich, and afterwards they shared a fried ice-cream. Fig got the cherry-on-top (and Gilear got a brain freeze). They sat at the park til the sun began to set, and then they headed home. (Sandra-Lynn made muffins, but Gilear kept the thousand-calorie secret to himself.) It was Fig's best memories. A week before Freshman Year, she walked back to the same place and ordered a fried ice-cream. The waitress who served her mentioned in passing that a sad looking elf came by only a few hours prior and requested the same thing. He left the cherry-on-top.

----

Fabian: Oatmeal Biscuits

Fabian doesn't remember how old he was when he baked his first batch. Cathilda dropped by his room one evening, while his father was out on Leviathan and his mother was taking a nap, and asked him if he'd like to make a dessert with her. The halfling had always been his confidant, and he'd been feeling lonely, so he jumped at the offer. They made their way downstairs and Cathilda announced that they'd be making a pastry that had been passed down from her parents, and she'd decided that he was family enough she'd teach it to him. The recipe was simple; a package of oatmeal, cinnamon, butter, etc. Fabian dropped the first bowl of batter on the floor and freaked out, expecting Cathilda to shoo him back to his room, but she just cleaned it up and they started a new batch. Halfway through a food fight broke out with the old batter, but it was cleaned up before Hillariel came downstairs for another drink.

----

Kristin: Peanut Brittle

Kristin's family doesn't eat much sugar. Sure- they'll make a nice little pie for the Sol holidays, but they're also the kind of family who will base all their meals off of the calorie count. However, during some family vacation to visit relatives in the middle of nowhere, they dropped by a small country store and, at the request (hysterical begging) of her brothers, the Applebees' caved and bought a package of peanut brittle. Kristin tried on of the four peices (she offered one half to her parents, but they declined) and immediately fell in love with it. She tried to remake a few weeks later but the Applebees' refused to buy the ingredients. She didn't attempt it again until moving into Mordred. It was Tracker who suggested she make it, one day while they were at a candy shop. Kristin bought the ingredients, set up in Mordred, and baked a large sheet of it that was almost immediately devoured by her and the Bad Kids.

----

Riz: Flourless Chocolate Cake

Riz isn't one for sweet treats. He likes sugar, but he's also the person who orders a soda in a vintage bottle when the rest of his friends have ice cream. However, his father made a flourless chocolate cake during one of his and Sklonda's anniversaries, and Riz was invited to taste test to ensure that Pok's beautiful wife would get top-notch dessert by the end if it. They served it with raspberries during breakfast. Sklonda enjoyed it immensely. Riz, of course, got all the credit for being "Dad's little sous-chef". Some days, after Pok died, he would make it again, and he and Sklonda would bring it and some lunch out to the cemetery to have a family picnic. Fabian saw him making one once, and asked Cathilda to help him create it for Riz's birthday.

----

Holy- thats- that's a lot. I am SO sorry XD

These are all amazing and awesome. No notes A+

Never apologise for sending me long ones lol (I love reading them on my breaks)

I just have a harder time adding things to them.

[immoralimmortals]

we hop-skip-jump back with more akatsuki questions! we hope your days have been grand and your songs sweet, tak(?)

if the akatsuki were exposed to the cuisines of our modern, international world, what would each of them gravitate to? would hidan be lured by the cooking of the southern american states, creole, the sausages and cuts and grinds of europe, the whole beasts of the pacific? would itachi look at italian cuisine and feel a deep pang of nostalgia of how sasuke would like this fare? what would these tongues make of our world's bounty?

Hello again! Yes, I'm Tak uvu Some more cusine headcanons for you, dear!:

Honestly I think you nailed Hidan right off the bat. I think he's a connoisseur of meat in specific, if given the time and lack of killing people (so only a world with no Jashin. Probably). I can imagine him, Deidara, and sometimes Kisame having a hot sauce drinking contest. Kakuzu would show up and blow them out of the water once and never participate again. I think Hidan would like beef jerky and pork rinds.

My dad is obsessed with the Red Lobster food chain and now I'm thinking about how Kisame would genuinely enjoy himself while everyone else is only there for cheddar bay biscuits.

My dad just bought at least 100$ worth of Red Lobster gift cards once finding out they're going out of business HE KEEPS ASKING ME OUT TO RED LOBSTER SOMEONE FUCKING HELP M

I've already said in a prior post that Deidara would be OBSESSED with pop rocks. Wouldn't be surprised if he seeks out other kinds of food that give specific sensations, hence the hot sauce bit just now. He'd love carbonated drinks, too. He can bullshit his way into convincing you that yes, Monster Energy Drink *does* require a sophisticated flavor palate! He'd try anything if it had a novelty factor, at least one he can take seriously.

Perhaps obviously I can see Itachi especially enjoying the vast variety of teas that one can acquire in the modern world. My personal favorites tend to be rooibos blends, so I'd like to give him a cup. God, he'd be a great cafe owner. Literal coffee shop AU type of man. I want him to tell me about the floral notes in this morning blend of green tea from the Himalayas. I wanna own a combination tea shop and bakery with him, that'd be the dream.

Kakuzu strikes me as a hardy, heavy food kind of guy. Stews and meats and breads. He'd probably like corned beef and cabbage and potatoes. ...Sorry my Irish in me is coming out. Gravitates to comfort food that keeps you full and warm.

Nagato and Konan are...interesting ones to consider, because whenever I think about them and food I just can't stop thinking about how formative starvation must have been for them. I think they can get overwhelmed by seasonings really fast, anything especially salty or sugary or what have you is in small portions. I don't think they'd deal well with the fact that the most available foods in some societies are saturated with flavor that's overcompensating for shitty processed food. I think if you gave Nagato a bottle of Sunny D it might actually kill him.

Sasori can't taste shit, I think, but if he did he's one of those assholes with PIN POINT PRECISION. Wine connoisseur. Chocolate connoisseur. Will intellectually wreck your shit if you tell him you're making spaghetti and serve him angel hair.

I think Obito would get really disappointed if you told him you were going to get mochi and you came back with the kind you get from the grocery store.

Zetsu still eats people, I can only presume. He might be interested in foods related to "stranger" body parts, brain cheese and haggis, that sort of thing.

Side note: several years ago when I first entered my never-ending Akatsuki phase, I read a really, really cute self insert or reader insert fic where the Akatsuki came to the "real world" and they watched Spongebob and Kisame made what the story described as an adorable face as he was shown how a soda can works. I've been looking for it and my heart yearns to reread. If you happen to find it, please let me know!