#so sorry for the text in the middle but its for context

[rycusfunnies]

It can't stay in my files forever as a inside joke only posted to Discord yknow

No cap it was genuinely funny how she's mad at me now only for Greacer/Grem X Acer like good, weep. Cry about it.

i need a shirt that’s like “i survived the pixar cars harassment 2023” like those fuckin i survive books

[1982grapejuiceblues]

Change Of Plans

Official Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Stranger Lanes Part 1

Summary: Y/N just got dumped. By text. Her boyfriend left her for Claire—her coworker, her friend, and the girl who helped plan their summer group trip. Now Claire and Ben are sharing a car to the lake house. Y/N? She’s stuck riding with Harry—Claire’s freshly dumped, emotionally unavailable ex. They’ve barely spoken. They don’t even like each other. And they’re about to spend twelve hours trapped in a car together. It wasn’t supposed to go like this. But then again… nothing ever does.

A/N: I just came up with this (in my opinion) very cute story idea because its finally SPRING (although it feels so much more like summer) and I was really feeling those end of school, summer vibes. So here is my second story, Stranger Lanes! I'll be alternating between posting for this story and The Wrong Pitch (my other series) each day. I hope you guys love teacher!Harry because thats who we're getting today. He's grumpy, quiet, broody, and everything we could ever dream of. Hope you guys love him as much as I do!

Warnings: Off-page infidelity / betrayal (Y/N’s partner cheats with a friend) | Breakup fallout and emotional processing | Anxiety, emotional withdrawal, and dissociation | References to emotional repression (in others and self) | Passive-aggressive group dynamics | Alcohol use (coping, casual context) | One (1) sarcastic mention of wanting to “die in Indiana” | Dry humor layered over grief

Word Count: 1.7K

₊˚ ✧ ━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━ ✧ ₊˚

It started with a text.

Not a fight.

Not a conversation.

Not even a slowly decaying vibe.

Just a text. Dry. Colorless. Utterly insufficient.

Hey. I think it’s only fair I’m honest with you. Claire and I are seeing each other. We didn’t plan it.

Y/N read it once. Then again. Then a third time, more slowly—like it might morph into something less ridiculous if she squinted hard enough.

It didn’t.

She stood in the middle of her kitchen, one hand gripping the fridge door like it was holding her upright. The glow of the fridge light spilled across her feet and the tile in soft gold, humming like it was trying to fill the silence. It didn’t.

She hadn’t even taken her shoes off yet.

Ben.

Ben had sent that.

Ben, her boyfriend of three years.

Ben, who alphabetized their spice rack.

Ben, who had built her a bookshelf for her birthday and painted it teal because it “felt like a happy color.”

Ben, who had Claire saved in his phone as “Claire 🌱” because, apparently, she was “good with plants.”

Y/N closed the fridge door slowly and let her phone slide facedown onto the counter.

She didn’t scream. She didn’t throw anything.

She didn’t cry. That would’ve made sense.

Instead, she opened the freezer, took out the pint of overpriced salted caramel gelato she’d been saving for “a bad day,” and stared at it like it had betrayed her too.

Claire.

She leaned against the counter. Crossed her arms. Uncrossed them.

Claire.

As in Harry’s girlfriend Claire.

As in district golden girl, perennial staff lounge contributor, fake-humble about her sourdough starter Claire.

Claire who had cried on Y/N’s shoulder at the end-of-year cookout two weeks ago because Harry was “distant” and “always reading alone when she just wanted to connect.”

Claire who had helped plan the lake trip. Who made the group spreadsheets. Who told Y/N—literally, word for word—that she “was lucky to have someone like Ben. He’s so emotionally available.”

Y/N laughed. Once. Short and dry, like a cough in a church pew.

She put the gelato back in the freezer.

-

She didn’t text back. She didn’t call.

She sat on the edge of her bed, in the tank top she’d taught summer school in, and stared at her laundry pile like it might have answers.

Her phone buzzed again.

I’m sorry

That was it. No period. No elaboration. Just two words that sounded more like a receipt than a confession.

She powered her phone off. Not because she was angry. But because she couldn’t bear to watch the read receipts play chicken with her rage.

-

The next morning, she packed a bag.

Not dramatically. Not even thoughtfully. She just started folding things—loose sleep shorts, that one bra that still held its shape, the tank top with the bleach stain she usually saved for movie nights—and shoved them into a weekender tote like she was running from a hurricane. Which, in a way, she was.

She left Ben’s keys on the counter. Took her spare set. Didn’t lock the door behind her.

-

Her sister opened the door in a charcoal gray face mask and one of those oversized sweatshirts that read PROPERTY OF NO ONE across the chest.

“Oh,” she said, blinking. “It happened?”

Y/N nodded.

“Claire?” Her sister had heard about Claire. Or more specifically, “Claire 🌱”.

Y/N nodded again.

Her sister stepped aside like a bouncer. “Come in. Do you want wine or revenge?”

Y/N dropped her bag in the hallway. “What kind of wine?”

-

She stayed for three nights. Then five. Then seven.

She didn’t go back to their apartment—not once. Ben texted a few times, but the messages were all logistical. Do you want the basil plant? Are the insurance papers in the drawer? Should I grab your blender too?

She didn’t answer. He Venmo’d her $300 without a note. She transferred it to savings and blocked his number.

Her sister didn’t ask questions. She made breakfast-for-dinner three times and gave her the better half of the couch, and only once did she gently ask if Y/N wanted to talk about it.

“I think I will,” Y/N said. “Later.”

It wasn’t a lie. It just wasn’t soon.

-

She spent most of her days scrolling—TikTok, Pinterest, Zillow like she could manifest a life somewhere coastal. She read three chapters of a novel before putting it down and flipping to something trashier. She started a letter to Ben and then deleted it. She started a letter to Claire and imagined reading it aloud into a hairbrush like she was Nikki Minaj mic’d at the VMAs.

None of it helped. But it filled the time.

-

The summer trip loomed.

The group chat still pinged daily—mostly Claire, ironically. She sent weather updates and playlists and matching merch links (“Isn’t this cute for a group pic??”) like she hadn’t detonated the entire social dynamic of the group with her soft little garden-gloved hands.

Y/N didn’t mute the chat. She just watched.

Every so often, someone—usually Ali—would DM her privately and say something like “you’re still coming, right?” or “we can totally make it chill, like totally separate spaces, no drama.”

She didn’t respond. Not because she was ghosting. Just because there wasn’t an answer that didn’t sound like she was lying to herself.

-

On day nine, her sister brought in the mail and tossed a catalog onto the couch.

It landed next to Y/N with a heavy thwap. A furniture store ad. The front read:

CHANGE STARTS HERE.

Y/N stared at it for a full minute.

Then she said, “Ali’s gonna call, isn’t she?”

-

It happened at 9:17 p.m., which already felt like a hostile time for unsolicited optimism.

Y/N was on the couch again, wearing the same sweatshirt she’d claimed from her sister’s closet five days ago and scrolling through Instagram like she was watching someone else’s life. Weddings. Beach trips. Dogs on paddle boards.

Her legs were half-asleep under a blanket she didn’t remember pulling over herself. Her phone was warm in her palm. She had just watched an entire video of someone organizing a pantry with acrylic bins and was about to rewatch it when her screen lit up with a name she both loved and feared:

Ali 🌙

Y/N stared at it.

Her thumb hovered.

Then she accepted the call and held the phone to her ear with the energy of someone walking into a trap.

“Please tell me you’re not calling to ask if I’ve forgiven them.”

“No,” Ali said immediately. “God, no. I’m not insane.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes. “Then what.”

“I have an idea.”

“Ali.”

“A solution.”

“Ali.”

“You have to hear it.”

“I truly do not.”

“You do,” she insisted. “Because it’s genius. It’s fate. It’s actually so perfect, I think the universe is throwing you a bone.”

“Is it a bone or is it a grenade?”

“Okay, so—”

Y/N groaned and dropped her head back against the couch. “Start over. From the top. Slowly.”

Ali exhaled dramatically. “Fine. You know how you were supposed to drive up to the lake house with Ben.”

Y/N stayed silent.

“And now you are, obviously, not doing that because Ben is… dead to us.”

Still silent.

“Well, Harry was supposed to drive up with Claire.”

Ah. There it was.

“And now he’s not. Because Claire is, you know, Ben’s rebound wife.”

“I’m going to vomit,” Y/N muttered.

Ali ignored her. “So now Harry has a car. You need a ride. He needs a co-pilot. You don’t want to drive alone. See where I’m going with this?”

Y/N was silent for a long time.

Then: “I’ve spoken to him twice.”

“Three times.”

“Ali.”

“I think he said you had a nice voice once.”

“He asked if I had a pen.”

Ali was undeterred. “He’s quiet. But he’s not mean. And he said he’s still going.”

“You already asked him?”

“Maybe.”

“Ali.”

“I mean. Yes.”

“Oh my god.”

“I swear he didn’t even sound annoyed! He was just like, ‘sure, whatever.’ That’s practically a love letter from Harry.”

Y/N groaned again and pulled the blanket over her face.

“Just—think about it,” Ali added. “It’s a long drive. You can listen to audiobooks. Or just put in your headphones and ignore him. It doesn’t have to be bonding. It can be… logistical.”

“Like co-parenting a twelve-hour road trip.”

“Exactly.”

Y/N peeked out from under the blanket. “He said yes?”

“Yes. Kind of. I think. I texted and he replied ‘fine.’”

“Wow. I feel so cherished.”

Ali snorted. “He’s just… not a words guy.”

“What is he then?”

“A scowl guy. A hoodie guy. A tragic poetry guy.”

“Oh god.”

“You’re gonna have a great time.”

“I’m going to die in Indiana.”

Ali paused. “Okay but if you do, at least make it look like an accident. Don’t ruin the vibe of the trip.”

-

The worst part wasn’t that she was considering it. The worst part was that it made sense.

She didn’t want to rent a car. She didn’t want to fly and pretend she wasn’t terrified of turbulence. She didn’t want to miss the trip entirely, because Claire and Ben didn’t get to take that from her too.

And Harry, despite being barely more than a moody silhouette in the hallway during staff meetings, wasn’t a serial killer. As far as she knew.

She pulled up his contact in her phone. She’d never texted him before. His name was just Harry Styles, no emoji, no notes. A blank profile image. He was, in every way, a placeholder.

She stared at the screen for a long moment.

Then typed:

Ali says you’re okay with driving together. Is that real or was she hallucinating from heat exhaustion?

The dots appeared almost immediately.

It’s real.

Y/N squinted at the screen.

I can pick you up Saturday at 7?

Seven. In the morning. On a Saturday. Before she had coffee.

Was he trying to make her hate him?

Seven AM???

It’s a twelve-hour drive.

I’m aware of the concept of distance, Harry.

Good. I’ll bring coffee.

She paused.

That was… civil. Almost human.

What kind of coffee?

Black.

Are you trying to make this as miserable as possible?

Do you take yours with glitter and oat milk?

Y/N smirked.

I take it with hope and joy, actually.

Cool. I’ll bring despair and an aux cord.

She let out a sound that surprised her—a laugh, small and sharp, like she hadn’t remembered what it felt like to make one.

Then she replied:

Fine. But no true crime podcasts unless I pick them.

Deal.

[hoiststowline]

radio silence [w/ ultra magnus, ratchet, & sunstreaker]

ultra magnus isn't the fondest of communication via technology, but respects its resourcefulness in moments when he cannot speak with you physically. there are often times when he's knee deep in paperwork or too far distance-wise, and opts to check in with you at intervals when he knows school or work would not be an obstacle. he has your schedule committed to memory, and expects and even anticipates changes or unplanned events so when you do go radio silent, so he can justify it. you don't need to tell him where you are at all times, he isn't in charge of you, but appreciates your messages to say you'll have your phone off for an hour to study, or are heading to work.

however, most messages he sends are typically answered immediately by you, because of how few and far between they are. just checking up on you if he's been away from you for a prolonged stretch of time, when he has a moment to himself. now, he's decided to send you a text that he has returned to base and his mission has concluded, updating you accordingly. but you don't reply, leaving him to question if perhaps you've been caught up at class, or decided to pick up an extra shift at work.

he allows a two hour-grace period. magnus doesn't worry within these cycles, because things happen and he could never fault you for circumstances beyond your control. however, he'd had a long talk with you about the dangers of what lurks and associating with him, romantic or not, and if he doesn't know you're okay after those two hours, he's searching for you. about halfway to your house, you call him, some drowsy slurring to your tone. "you're not almost here, are you? I fell asleep, and I just woke up-" as long as he knows you're okay, but now he must account for unprecedented so-called 'naps', as it is finals week, so you kindly told him. "not a problem," he rumbles, relief flooding his words. "I'd still like to see you, if that is alright."

ratchet is less forgiving to radio silence, as most of his time is spent in front of a computer and is often flooded with your messages. you sometimes send him things that make no sense, swept up by exhaustion as you text him well into the night and into the early morning, until he threatens to block you so you can get some rest. he loves this way of communicating with you throughout the day, it's easiest to check up on you whilst at work or class, and you can respond whenever you have the chance to. he likes this form of communication, though nothing actually tops getting to speak to you in person.

he vaguely has an idea of your work/school schedule, though he trusts you are doing something productive when you aren't spamming his inbox. it's not out of disinterest, he understands better than anybody the importance of not hovering over his s/o, though with what he's kindred with, it leaves room for worry. some unwarranted radio silence is enough to escalate his concern regarding your health, and when your replies are either negligible or sparse, sorry not sorry, he's on his way to your place. ratchet will try calling you once, and that's your only chance to fess up and tell him just what is going on and why you were suddenly not answering his messages.

there is a short, but impatient grace period with ratchet. he knows you like the back of his hand and realizes when you aren't quite acting like yourself, whether that be lively, withdrawn, or somewhere in the middle. he convinces himself that something must be amiss or you are in some sort of trouble, and leaves no room for disagreement or input from others. he's taking matters into his own hands and coming to look for you, come hell or high water. though he doesn't vocally portray it in most cases, he is very protective over you and couldn't live with himself if something happened to you and he neglected the signs. he respects your boundaries but knows your character, and can gather context clues when something isn't quite right.

you sent sunstreaker your work/class schedule once, and he scoffed at it. he couldn't understand why you would assume he would ever need such thing, displaying disinterest by your offering. after you'd left that day, he saved the timetable to a data-pad and stored it in his subspace, never telling anybody about it because it was simply none of their business. especially you, you don't need to know that he secretly worries about your well-being now that you're tangled up with the autobots.

messaging with him isn't as frequent as it is with ratchet, but it's not as sparse as with magnus. you often have to initiate the conversation, [he has, but his typical messages are usually to ask what you're doing and if you wanted to go for a drive] but he will carry a rapport with you, never wanting you to feel as if he wasn't there for you. sunstreaker won't say it out loud, of course, so it must be conveyed through message in a cryptic method and just prays that you sympathize with his emotional constipation. in full agreement, he prefers to speak with you face-to-face, but he will take what he can get and he's totally fine with that. not really. if it was up to him, he'd be hanging around you all day long, but his schedule and yours prohibits that.

there is no grace period with sunstreaker. don't bother, if you've gone radio silence on him after a pretty steady conversation, he's already on the highway, headed straight for your house. he'll grumble about it and complain if nothing really is wrong, but he's the one who couldn't stop thinking about the fact that you must be injured or unwell to have stopped so suddenly. he understands that you get caught up in things, as he does frequently, but he'd promised to be transparent as long as you would be in return. messages like 'i'll be away for a bit' or 'talk to you asap' are very common between you two.

if the silence has gone on for a prolonged time, perchance he didn't get to check his inbox right away due to responsibilities and was replying to you late. but it isn't at an odd hour so, to him, there is no grounds for you to not answer within a reasonable time frame, a million to one scenarios are running through his processor. "why didn't you answer my message?" when you finally get the chance to call him, after getting hung up at work, he picks up on the first ring. following explaining why, he ex-vents but stifles his exasperation to ask about your day. as long as you were safe and sound, that's all that mattered.

[bimkayd]

chapter 2: the closed door | QUEEN SIZED MATTRESS – YU JIMIN.

a closed door, a door locked shut, another door; slightly ajar.

𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 — following the events of where do you sleep, y/n and karina find themselves at the center of a dating scandal. with the reputations of the pair at stake, their once private life crumbling apart under the weight of their companies–how will they get through this? no contact, a line that echoes through the both of their heads constantly. no contact, no missed calls, no good morning texts, no short glances at events, no freedom.

⚠️DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY TAKES PLACE AFTER THE STORY OF WHERE DO YOU SLEEP. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. ⚠️

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 — angst. genuinely I need to start writing more than just angst smut! smut! we all chant even though I don't know how to write smut

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀 — 2,336

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 — Y'ALL I HAVE CLASS IN LIKE 50 MINUTES THIS IS WHY YOU DONT PROCRASTINATE YOUR CHAPTERS IM SO SORRY ANYWAYS. umm hey!!! i obviously love my fans and put tons of time and care into each and every story (#notproofread) (#illfixitlater) (#dontwaittillthelastminute)

the time gaps are a little disorienting because I lined up korea time zones with la time zones so umm... if it looks a little weird thats why

I PROMISE ILL START MAKING CHAPTERS LONGER ITS JUST AGHH. yall I talk too much, i also snuck in a lesserafim quote at the bottom but the delivery was kinda eh

shout out to @bytemee for being the building blocks for me to plagiarize inspiration/original writer of where do you sleep!!!

taglist (open) — @runawaymazola @prologue-ae @bytemee @yuyuy90 @zindoriyo

wdys masterlist. qsm masterlist. previous. next.

she stared at the text bubble on her screen long after it had already been sent.

“delivered.”

that’s all it said. no read receipts, no typing dots, no reply.

the second it sent, her thumb hovered, almost reflexively over the message, as if she could pull it back in time. take it back, edit it . add context. add something–anything–to make it sound less… pathetic?

but it was already gone. floating in a digital purgatory, waiting to be seen. or worse, ignored.

her stomach churned

she’d spent the last hour drifting around the dorm like a ghost. the silence was starting to get to her. her team had given her the day off–pr called it a “cooling period.” more executives telling her to lay low. stylists cancelled fittings, and her group chat with the girls had gone quiet, except for ning’s half-hearted meme from last night that no one responded to.

it wasn’t that they didn’t care about her. it was that they knew, and even they didn’t know what to say.

neither did she

she had hovered over y/n’s contact for minutes by now, her thumb trembling with the weight of the immense guilt, the whispers, the headlines, the weight of the guilt pulling her thumb down across the keyboard–she typed so many versions of that message.

“i’m sorry i missed your birthday.” “i didn’t know what to say.” “i wanted to call but i couldn’t” “i messed up.” “i love you.” every version felt like a lie or a little too late.

so she’d sent the only truth that had survived the night. “i’m sorry. i don’t know what to do.”

and that was the truth, wasn’t it? she didn’t know.

not how to fix it. not how to undo what was already unraveled. she didn’t know how to be karina, the idol, and jimin, the girl who was head over heels for y/n, all at once anymore.

so she stood there. in the middle of the dorm’s living room. curtains still drawn. phone still warm in her hand.

the room had felt too still, as if it had been paused..

everything about her life felt like it’d been paused except time.

she sat back down on the couch, legs curled under her, hoodie bunched up to her chin, fingers clenched around her phone.

y/n wasn’t going to respond. she knew it.

the rational parts of her brain told her it was because y/n’s phone was off. the insecure part told her that it was because she didn’t deserve to get a response.

she was the one who disappeared. the one who let the company speak for her. the one who hid behind the quiet of her company because it was just so much easier than facing the fire.

and maybe that’s what hurt the most. that she had let y/n burn alone.

time passed in slow motion. the kind of time that drips instead of ticks. each second felt like a drop of guilt that soaked into her skin and refused to dry

so when the screen lit up again–

she almost dropped the phone.

6:53 pm y/n: then tell me what you want

her chest collapsed

not from panic. not from anger. but from the sheer weight of its ache.

those six words. they felt sharper than any headline. heavier than any silence

they weren’t accusatory. they weren’t kind, either. they were just… bare. raw. honest.

tell me what you want.

she reread that message maybe five, ten, twenty times, until it was all that occupied her mind.

what did she want? she wanted y/n she wanted to turn back the clock she wanted to walk out of that damn restaurant and say, “no you’re right y/n, we can enjoy the night in your apartment too.” she wanted to show up with flowers and cake and maybe that stupid hat y/n always teased her about.

she wanted to not be afraid.

she brought her knees to her chest, forehead resting against them as her hands trembled.

she typed slowly, carefully, and deleted twice.

then finally:

6:59 am jimin: i want you. i want to do this the right way this time. i don’t care about the contracts. i don’t care about the backlash. just tell me i didn’t lose you for good.

she hit send.

and this time, she didn’t look away.

y/n – 3:00 pm

the vibration startled her. she almost didn’t check.

her phone had been a graveyard all day–outside from the occasional buzzes from instagram, emails that were slowly piling up, and one unread message from… karina. jimin. y/n had stopped thinking of her as karina from the moment that everything fell apart.

now, it was jimin again. like the girl she met in the hallways of the sm building by accident, not the face on a billboard. and that made her so much harder to forget.

she stared at the new notification. jimin: i want you. i want to do this the right way this time. i don’t care about the contracts. i don’t care about the backlash. just tell me i didn’t lose you for good.

her thumb hovered, heart a skipping stone caught midair. there it was.

the thing she had begged for countless times in her head. the confession, the promise. the promise that she needed to hear long ago.

y/n laid her head back against her headboard, her knees curled, her mind spiraling out of control.

she didn’t know how to feel. not really. not when the girl she loved was finally saying all the things she should’ve said before it shattered.

her response should’ve felt like relief should’ve given y/n the closure that she needed. yet it didn’t. it felt like pressure. like the moment before the waves crash–right when your lungs fill with salt and you have no idea if this is the moment you’ll drown, or be carried to shore.

she exhaled sharply. her fingers dragged across the sheets, restless. closure wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.

where had this been weeks ago? when she was at the dinner table with her family, holding back tears and blowing out a candle. when every headline twisted her into some lovesick maniac; maybe she was. when jimin’s silence spoke louder than words ever could: “i can’t choose you”

because now, the last thing she wanted was an apology. she wanted proof.

proof that she meant every word of what she said, proof that the jimin she’d fallen in love with came to her senses, proof that she’d choose y/n over her career.

and yet she wasn’t sure if she was ready to believe her again. not yet. but still– she typed. backspace. typed again deleted everything. started over.

3:06 pm y/n: you’re saying the right things, the things that i wanted to hear now. but i needed you when it was quiet. when no one was watching. i needed you to choose me then.

she hit send no humor, no emojis just the truth.

and this time, she didn’t cry

not yet.

the silence that followed was restless it pressed around her like a tide–thick, heavy, and still.

she set her phone face-down back onto her nightstand. the soft click of the glass on wood echoed too loud in her ears.

it was too quiet now. too still.

and suddenly, she was back there. not physically–but in the way memories sneak up on you when you least expect them. when your heart is cracked just wide enough for them to sneak in unnoticed.

the smell of citrus and champagne. the low thump of bass through the floor. glitter all over the walls, and something in her chest.

y/n’s pov

it had been one of those nights–loud, glittering, and suffocating.

the afterparty was held in a penthouse that looked like it was designed to be photographed more than lived in. seoul’s skyline poured in through the glass walls, city lights flickering like paparazzi. everything smelled like champagne, stress, and expensive cologne. everyone smiled with perfect teeth and said things they didn’t mean.

y/n hadn’t even wanted to be there but jimin was.

and that was more than enough of a reason.

she’d arrived late, dressed down compared to the squined crowd, her anxiety masked by her choreographed expressions. y/n wasn’t part of this world. not really. but she’d carved out a corner of her world where jimin could find her–if she ever wanted to.

but jimin hadn’t even glanced in her direction when she walked in.

from the moment she stepped in, she was surrounded by people–stylists, managers, a few idols y/n vaguely recognized. her laughter was polite. her smile didn’t reach her eyes. and her gaze never drifted to where y/n stood, clutching a drink she wasn’t sipping, pretending that she didn’t notice.

it had been weeks since that night during the mama awards and jimin was pretending like nothing had happened.

that was the moment y/n realized she might be the only one still pretending that there was something left

she caught her in the hallway, between conversations, between pretending.

“can we talk?” y/n asked, her voice low, yet desperate.

jimin blinked, caught off guard. “now?”

“when else?” her tone wasn’t sharp, but it wasn’t soft either. just tired. just human

they stepped into a corridor away from the main lunge-still within the ears-distance of the crowd, yet at the same time, miles away from it. the low punch of music and laughter carried throughout the building like white noise.

jimin crossed her arms, glancing over her shoulder before looking back at her. “this really isn’t the place y/n.”

“it never is,” y/n muttered.

and that's maybe what did it. maybe that was the moment she realized that she was clinging to scraps that were long expired.

the way her voice cracked a little too close to the surface. the way she didn’t mask her disappointment anymore. the way jimin looked at her, like she wanted to say something but couldn’t risk the wrong person hearing.

“you don’t get to disappear and then play it safe in front of people,” y/n whispered. “i’m not asking for a grand gesture from you. i’m just–just asking for you to see me.”

“i do see you,” jimin replied, frustration threading into her whisper, “but there are people everywhere, y/n. do you know what happens if the wrong person hears–?”

“then let them,” y/n interrupted, “i’m tired of being your secret.”

that was the first time the silence between them had felt permanent.

not a pause. not a breath permanent.

jimin looked at her with a kind of helplessness that y/n didn’t know what to do within. it was like she wanted to reach out and couldn’t. like the air between them had turned electric, heavy, and untouchable.

then someone from the party called jimin’s name.

she flinched, “i have to go.”

of course she did.

y/n stepped back, chewing on the insides of her cheek as she gave a small, bitter nod. “yeah. you always do.”

and that was it.

the last time she’d seen her in person.

the moment that memory faded, she was back in her apartment, in the now, the silence still ringing in her ears.

her phone buzzed. she glanced down.

7:12 am karina’s pov

she sat still, fingers curled around the phone like it might break if she held it any tighter.

the text sat there on her screen, unblinking. unapologetic “i needed you to choose me then.”

and as she always did, karina didn’t know what to say to that. not because she thought it was a lie. but because she really didn’t.

because she remembered the afterparty she remember the way y/n looked at her–like maybe she still hoped, and how karina looked away first.

she thought that the silence would protect both of them. but now she knew: silence had done the damage.

karina reread y/n’s message again,

“you’re saying the right things, the things that i wanted to hear now. but i needed you when it was quiet. when no one was watching. i needed you to choose me then.”

each word landed like a jab, the weight of the truth bruising into her sides.

her mind spun back to that hallway, the echoes of the bass vibrating along the walls, and y/n standing there–eyes wide and heartbroken. jimin could still clearly picture the way her lips trembled when she whispered, “i’m tired of being your secret,” the way her pupils dilated, holding back her tears, the way her breath hitched like the truth had broken its way into her lungs. her lashes were wet, but not a single tear dared to fall–as if letting one escape would be admitting that it hurt.

and karina had crushed it with a look, a pause, and a step backward.

now, she sat with the thoughts of every unsaid thing choking her. her phone buzzed again in her hand–not a message this time, just a low battery warning. fitting, she thought; she felt drained too.

there was a time she would’ve ran straight to the airport, ran straight to y/n’s apartment in the middle of the night with a bouquet of flowers and a messy, yet emotional apology. the difference now was: she wasn’t sure if that door would still be open.

still, she typed. not impulsively, not with desperation–but with a stillness that comes only after you’ve finally started telling the truth.

7:19 am jimin:

i didn’t choose you then. not because i didn’t want to. but because i was scared. of what people would say. of what i’d lose but i lost you anyway and that’s on me

so this time, i won’t say anything else. not until i can show you. if there’s still a chance–i’ll prove it. i’ll show up. in the quiet. even if no one’s watching.

even if the door that we once shared is closed; locked shut. i’ll find that backdoor, the door that’s just slightly ajar. and open them all.

[ipso-faculty]

Is saying "intersex and/or mesosex" the same way of saying "trans and/or nonbinary"? Sorry I'm trying to (un)learn, I don't want to be seen as insensitive

No, mesosex should be thought of as a subset of intersex. I'd just say intersex. 👍️

I'm gonna give you a wall of text of context so upfront a TLDR: 😅

TLDR: positioning mesosex as in between perisex and intersex is like positioning bisexual as in between queer and not-queer. Intersex people are organizing for inclusive views of intersex and trying to create a middle ground between intersex & perisex plays into conservative efforts to divide and conquer us. 🧑‍🏫

So a big difference between being intersex and being trans/nonbinary comes from the role of medicine being far, far more powerful in its control and oppression of intersex people. In a lot of ways intersex is more like disability than like other queer identities. So much of intersex identity is gatekept by doctors. Intersex people are often told they're intersex by a doctor in a context of telling them they are disordered and broken. Fostering community amongst intersex people is hard because so many of us have been conditioned by doctors to think of themselves as rare freaks.

Right now we in the intersex community are fighting a kind of desperate battle for people to understand that it is intersex people who decide who is and isn't intersex, as opposed to it being up to doctors. And the intersex community consistently says that people with PCOS, Poland Syndrome, or even no diagnosis, who feel that their experiences line up with being intersex are intersex.

Meanwhile TERFs and other conservatives are pushing real hard to keep the definition of intersex as narrow as possible. They don't want intersex people to be common or for us to find community. They're invested in a narrative that intersex people are rare, and are disorderd men/women.

Right now, the track record of treating mesosex as not intersex has unfortunately been that it reinforces those conservative narratives. It's gotten used to imply that people with PCOS aren't really intersex, that they are mesosex instead. Same for undiagnosed intersex people. 😭

Even though this is not what I intended for the term, seeing what's happened with it in the wild it's been honestly scary and upsetting seeing this term get weaponized against an inclusive view of what intersex means. (And more experienced intersex folks raised concern about this well in advance 😨.)

Intersex being an umbrella category I think there is value in having microlabels within the umbrella category, which is why I updated my definition of mesosex rather than abandon the term altogether.

But yeah I would definitely steer far away from treating mesosex as though it's in between intersex and perisex - it's really not at all analogous to being nonbinary. I'd say a better analogy is that treating mesosex as if it is between intersex and perisex is like treating bisexual as being in between queer and non-queer.

The stakes are political inclusion and organizing - politically speaking, any effort to create a group between queer and non-queer generally serves to weaken the collective organizing of queer people. Same deal with intersex. Hope that clarifies things. 💜

[amalthea-13]

What Made Me Defend Stolas so Staunchly?

Introduction

After several days discussing Octavia and Stella, I am beyond happy to be back to my job on Stolas Defense!

Hello all, it is I, Amalthea, The Ultimate Stolas Kinnie and Stan! Today I thought it'd be interesting to talk about why I defend Stolas so staunchly.

For many who may not know me, I used to actually be in the middle when it came to the issues within Stolitz. I used to defend both Stolas and Blitz because in my head they were both at fault for a lot (I still believe this partly).

I never really doubted any of this purely because it made sense. I mean they're both in the relationship and therefore they both are bound to make mistakes.

However, the fundamental moment that changed my mind was Mastermind.

To many this may be weird bc 99.9% of the fandom has a neutral take on this. Everyone else is usually defensive of Blitz due to his position in society and usually we all agree to somewhat be fair to Stolas purely by giving him only partial blame.

I tried so hard to not get frustrated with Blitz. I really do try to give him so much empathy and love because I love that lil guy. That's my boy right there. . . however my boy was PISSING ME OFF.

Let's get into reasoning because despite The Blitz Post , he is still my third favorite in the entire series. (Sorry Blitz, Vassago ties with Stolas for number 1 and I think Yogirt took second place.) The Timeline

Recently, I rewatched the videos I made in response to Mastermind on my Tiktok. The very first initial reaction I had was a video I released November 29th, the day which Mastermind released and its a singular image of Stolas with the text:

"The fact Blitz cannot humanize Stolas ever until he has lost absolutely everything pisses me off. Stolas isn't perfect but the one time he does treat him well and like a person is when he's at his lowest just like Blitz."

A very . . . emotionally charged response to a character I also kin and was a staunch defender of before this point. I mean I loved Blitz, but what happened in Mastermind, that sudden tonal shift in their relationship sent me over the edge.

The next slide goes into further detail of my grievances;

"Stolas gave up everything and only NOW he is being treated with some semblance of kindness. It took him giving up his actual life for Blitz to actually see him as a person and not some "ditzy blueblood" he made up in his head".

These sentiments are echoed in The Blitz Post when it was made in February and I still stand by the context of the Blitz post to this day. November 30th I worked on an edit of Stolas to a Last Unicorn audio due to him being stripped of his magic, this was an emotional thing I couldn't get over, also echoed in my Stolas Headcanons post where someone asked me about his magic.

The same day I made a speedpaint redrawing Stolas and started just going off about my frustrations that I don't want to believe Blitz is a bad person or a semblance of a "bad guy", but the fact he could only humanize Stolas in that moment had "sickened me". I also mentioned my concerns for Octavia due to the fact I had been that "scared little girl" at some point in my life. I also note that;

"Truly, it hurt to watch Stolas throw himself in harms way, knowing Blitz would never give half of that to Stolas. He'd never sacrifice for Stolas like that."

All very... emotional responses and I can say this was the moment I fundamentally latched onto Stolas much tighter than I did previously. December 1st and 12th I made videos or slideshows defending Stolas regarding the punishment he got and that baby talking at Blitz or calling him "impish little plaything" isn't crime enough to justify what happened to him.

The 19th making another post defending Stolas due to his words being miscontextualized which inspired the Stolas, Miscontextualing his Words, and Boundaries post. The 22nd I documented my feelings about Via rejecting Stolas and that I couldn't agree with her at all and that echoed its way into The Octavia Dilemma. Christmas day at like 3am I made a post defending Stolas against people accusing him of being "fake" for using medication to handle his depression. Then January 1st was when I voiced I believed Blitz was the most at fault during the Full Moon argument.

Then January 30th I make a video detailing why I believe Blitz was at fault. I go into explicit detail outlining why Blitz was wrong, how he was wrong, and this was when I came up with the concept for the projection argument (Seen in First Ask: Has Stolas Truly Grown? Section 2) I utilize when talking about the Full Moon argument. I go to the point of saying Blitz isn't emotionally mature enough to be with Stolas. (Daaammnnnn past me, let the guy stand back up!!!)

How is it from November 29th-January30th my view changed so much? As I said I used to be the type of person that blamed both sides. What happened?

The Fundamental Moment My View Changed

Tonal Shift

Usually when I believe in something I don't let it go. If I believe in something with my entire heart it will take something huge happening to change my perspective.

However, during Mastermind it felt almost... gross and sickening to watch Blitz fawn over and help Stolas while simultaneously enjoying the tender moments we had waited so long for.

I felt so- guilty. Like I was watching my best friend get back with a man I knew was bad for them.

It felt hard to enjoy the positivity as I knew what impending doom was coming. I mean I felt awful for enjoying my comfort ship while Stolas lost everything.

The tonal shift in Mastermind changed a lot and reframed so many episodes as you see such a radical shift in the span of a month or two. As much as I appreciated Blitz's efforts, in my mind it was all "too little, too late". It was everything I wanted from the series but too late.

So that guilt and anger manifested into a several month long rant and frustration of me bordering on turning into a Blitz Anti. Hell, I designed an OC just to spite Blitz and ship Stolas with my OC. (Theyre the best couple btw I love them sm their ship name is Hot Messes.) However, what made me fall right back in love with Blitz was that damn kind heart and the fact he can make Stolas laugh. As angry as I remain to be and as staunchly I stay defending Stolas, I still love Blitz, but again Mastermind provided a lot of reframing of past episodes I could not get over. It was like the floodgates opened and I couldn't close them.

Stolas Antis and Blitz Dickriders

I also want to acknowledge that it was Stolas Antis specifically that made me start despising Blitz as a character.

While I no longer feel this way and have separated the Antis from our sweet Lizard King. At the time I was angry that people were coming down hard as hell on Stolas for things they gave passes to Blitz for.

I've noted this in many posts, but I call it the "trauma pass" and for some reason Blitz is the ONLY character in all of Helluva Boss who has this card. My anger brewed from there, watching Stolas be beat down for minor offenses and Blitz getting the trauma pass purely because people like him, but if Stolas did the same thing he'd be burnt at the stake.

Now besides the fact I am an October Libra with a strong sense of justice, I'm also an ADHD bitch who can argue for 5 days on end over the same thing and not stop defending my argument. I can get physically ill or tired but I am as stubborn as a damn mule.

Therefore further interactions with Blitz antis and defenders sent me into what I now call the "Stolas Defense". Pretty much a litany of arguments, pieces of evidence, and information that I utilize to make a strong barrier that no Blitz Defender can get past.

While I didn't get much interaction on my Tiktok account, those videos are what built this lovely blog and is the reason my defense remains so strong. Purely based on memory recall those videos fundamentally shifted how I see Blitz.

They also are why my defense remains the way it is. Sure, I repeat the same points over and over, but there is a purpose and reasoning to how the Stolas Defense functions. It's about appealing to every area of argument along with substantiative evidence to make a strong ass defense.

Despite Blitz Antis leaving me alone and now finding solace in my Stolas Kinnie Family. I still think about how it took one episode for me to change my entire perspective on ONE character.

Mastermind As an Episode

Everything in Mastermind was done so well. it was meant to make you question and think. A complex narrative that truly left the fandom in shambles after it's release.

However, why was it this narrative that changed my mind? As an audience, many people believed this episode was necessary for Stolitz to thrive as a couple.

At that time I actually told someone I felt it was "unnecessary" for Stolas to give up everything for Blitz. (I was reaaalllyyyyy angry ya'll. Blitz hun I am soooooo sorry)

Mastermind as an episode had the fandom splitting off into sides and caused very real division which from a writer standpoint is beyond impressive.

The episode took me, a neutral viewer, and turned me into a staunch Stolas Defender. Talk about phenomenal writing.

Conclusion

Despite this episode rehashing many of my older points, I hope you all get a better view from this post as to why I am the way I am. I ain't saying it'll make you all agree with me or anything, but this is the direct timeline of all my thoughts and how it all went down since November 30th.

Toodles! Amalthea Out!

[wordsmithic]

hello ! I have seen your post about greek mythology and its mischaracterization by westerners and i had some questions (im really sorry if it sounds offensive or ignorant i come in good faith). But why would a modern day greek be useful for writing about ancient greece and its culture ? Wouldnt the modern and ancient culture of greece change a lot because of the 2 millenia gap, christianization and ottoman domination ?

First of all, as Greeks and the living descendants and members of the Greek culture, we have the right to define how our heritage is presented and to have our voices heard in Greek cultural matters.

Secondly, Greeks are in very close contact with our heritage and ancient culture because we have been actively preserving it for more than 2 millennia.

We are still speaking the same language - with reasonable alterations but clearly still Greek with the same words, roots and logic. We can comfortably read and understand texts from 1000 and 2000 years ago - Koine Greek. Our customs, music, and ideas of respect for elders, heroes, important deities and heroes hold from the ancient years.

Christianity changed our religion, not our customs. Not even the structure of our temples. In fact, the anthropocentric Greek philosophy was and is part of our religion, Greek Orthodoxy.

The Ottomans made us second-class citizens and tried to wipe us out but we persisted, opening schools with our own money and surviving cultural and literal genocide.

We have a very strong archaeological sector, a ton of scholars and students who study our antiquity, and an archaeological museum in every town.

Additionally, we get educated since elementary school on the intended meaning of the myths. Since middle school (Gymnasio) we read and analyze our ancient Epics and ancient plays with graduates from classical and Greek literature studies as teachers. We also learn a version of ancient Greek, of course, from the first class of Gymnasio, when we are 12-13.

In addition, we know what happened in the years between polytheist antiquity and modern times. For most foreigners, this is a black box and they have no idea what happened to Greek culture. But we are taking exams on it.

(We study each period of our history three times during school. One in elementary, one in middle school, and one in high school). Kids who choose the Theoritiki domain learn even more and sharpen their skills enough so they compete for university entry at 17-18 years old by translating an ancient text they've never encountered before in class. (You can imagine how much study this needs, and how much consumption of ancient texts so one can prepare)

It is totally unreasonable to expect a culture to remain unchanged throughout the centuries. Not a single culture is like this. Evolution and change happens to every culture, and yet it remains a specific culture. It wouldn't be fair to deny all the ancient nations around the world the right to cultural continuation. It's just that some people cannot fathom generation after generation passing out their culture to others, but it is true in the case of the Greeks.

For someone like me who has a Greek heritage, there is an unbroken chain of Greeks all the way back to antiquity, who got passed down the Greek culture from someone else. (blood doesn't matter, just culture) The wishes, ideas, needs, and philosophy of that culture got passed from person to person, got evolved or changed based on what other Greeks wanted, or based on whatever influences were around at the time, and then got passed down to the next Greek.

In short, Greeks have this constant exposure to the wishes of the Greek people and the wisdom of our scholars early on, and the very nature of our continuous culture allows us to understand the context for many things. There are no dead Greeks you can speak to, so you can speak to the closest ancestor: a living Greek.

Scholars are also fine, of course, but when they are foreign they can have their biases or blind spots. I remember a post about Emily Wilson who translated the phrase "he is precious like my head" without taking into account how we use such phrases in Greek. To a Greek it's very obvious how this phrase is used and the context supports it. But Wilson didn't know this, so she guessed a few meanings based on a guess, guided by her own culture. I don't think Wilson's guess is better than the guess of a Greek scholar or a Greek person. Personally, I'd take more into account the opinion of the person from the native culture just because of the linguistic and cultural proximity.

Finally, in all nations, some Greeks don't care too much about their culture, but on the flipside there are many Greeks who care about it and are very knowledgeable. Both types of Greeks cringe heavily every time they see an American movie on Greek mythology, though 😂

Westerners have proven since the Middle Ages that they are viewing us under specific lends. They like to give us identities based on what they feel comfortable with, never asking our opinion or POV. So much so that when they encounter actual Greek culture they have no idea what it is. They have a separate idea in their heads and, based on that, they insist that they are the inheritors of our past. They've been calling us all sorts of names since the time of Charlamagne, viewed us through orientalist lens, sent people to loot our ancient sites again and again, called us too brown, called us too white, called us ignorant and uneducated, unable to care for our heritage, and - of course - "not real Greeks". The misconception, exoticization and sense of ownership of the Greek culture in the West have extremely deep roots.

This is a grave generalization and not directed to each individual. I'm just saying that there's history and literature just too large to ignore. No, I am not going to trust Westerners the same degree as I trust Greeks for the same reason an Indian would prefer to showcase their culture through another Indian text or person, and not by a Brit, or the same way a Native American would not trust the descendant of Spanish, German and Welsh people to showcase Native culture.

[1025flora]

skz as your best friend who is (not so) secretly in love with you

genre fluff , humor pairing ot8 skz x !femreader warnings not proofread

chan

"oh yeah yn is my best friend actually"

literally obsessed.

tries to hide the delulu (not good at it)

tells you about every single project he's working on

honestly just get married already???

most people think you're actually dating...

became your friend because he thought you were pretty, but stayed your friend because of a thousand other reasons

definitely takes notes for you when you're out

lots of dimple smiles when you do literally anything???

minho

quiet in public, but the world time yapping champion when its just you two

will say the most cruel and slanderous thing while looking at you with the most loving eyes

texts random bad selfies with no context

gags and scoffs when people suggest you two as an item, but on the inside he's eeking

"send me that pic of you from earlier"

you may or may not be the only person on his private story

attends every single event you're involved in, no matter how inconvenient it would be for him

soonie, doongie, and dori adore you

changbin

buddy (romantic)

thinks about you every second of his day

"hey look what i made!!"

needs everybody to know that you are his best friend

"she even asked me for the time..." *fist pump*

doesn't pressure you to go to the gym with him but he reeeaaaallyyyyyy wants you to

"do u hate me" texts in the middle of the night

swings his legs when you guys call

waits for you outside your classes so you can walk in between periods together

wants to be nonchalant and cool and mysterious about you SO BAD but he fails

hyunjin

ouh this man is delulu!!!

has your future lives planned out in a pinterest board

sketches you in class

"hey babe" when you are BOTH single

late night grocery store runs for no reason... he just likes how you look at night

"i forgot my wallet🥺" typa man

fully convinced you do not and will not love him romantically

a textbook hopeless romantic

will wait for you outside in any weather. coldfront, heatwave, rain, shine, that man is THERE

all the nicknames... like definitely calls you "blondie" if you're blonde

jisung

so nervous around you even though you two are best friends???

writes songs for you all the time, terrified to show you

one day wishes to sing every single one to you

"good morning!" "how was your day pook?!" "good night <3" every. single. day. never misses

prefers to just stay in and talk with you, about anything

"bbama misses youuuu" whenever you aren't at his house

you do make him flustered most of the time

a couple playlists made just for you tucked in his spotify library

wants to call you all the couple names but afraid you'll hate it

talks about you with the guys (they are SICK of it)

his thoughts towards you are just the lyrics of gorgeous by taylor swift

felix

tells you absolutely EVERYTHING

5 paragraph essay about his day every night

and yes expects the exact same from you...

you text on discord (sorry)

makes treats just for you in secret

in any setting that you aren't in, he calls you his

makes video memos for you when you're gone and secretly hopes you'll do the same

his sisters tease him daily about how he talks about you, but he doesn't care

wants everybody but you to know he loves you

his second favorite color is your favorite color

seungmin

all of the confidence and sly in his attitude vanishes as soon as you walk into the room

your personal butler

holds your hand just 'cause

"this would look so good on you"

you two share headphones everywhere

head on your shoulder, chin on your shoulder, oh and definitely elbow on your shoulder

matches his jewelry to yours

at karaoke, he points and sings at you for the love songs, but you usually think he's joking

will love you unconditionally forever, even if you never feel the same

jeongin

"but you looked hot...? why are you changing"

weirdly confident around you, like his attitude changes when you walk into the room

loves to do your makeup, and vice versa

he jokes so much that you think he's sarcastically in love, little do you know it's all from the heart

brings you coffee every morning at school/work

"this song reminded me of you"

makes sure your outfits coordinate

pays for EVERYTHING

you are his princess!!!!! in every sense of the word!!!

a/n omg first post here..... hope u guys like it 🙏 reblog or like if you read puhlease

[the-sol-eater]

CH2-14 Thoughts

So! CH2-14, huh? This episode has been our longest in the series yet, and it has used that time incredibly efficiently, especially given it is the penultimate episode before our culprit reveal. I don't think there's much to start with, really. Let's jump right into it :D

SWEAR STATISTICS (ch2-13)

BINGO CARD

Nico

DT-Dev needs to stop drawing Nico so handsome when they're in the middle of killing someone. this has happened twice now, I am very concerned.

Nico is probably the character I have the least to say about overall, but I still think it's fair to start with them. For one, we finally got the reveal of Nico's true murder plan! I...still personally do not understand why they didn't just garrote the man from the beginning, but it's nice to finally have some answers. Nico confessing to not trusting anyone in the killing game as well as their whole speech later on is honestly very based, if I was in their shoes I'd probably not see the point in pretending to be guilty either, and I really do think it was the most mature way to respond to this situation as a whole. Nico is probably one of the more logically-driven in the cast (when Ace isn't up their ass, anyway), so it makes a lot of sense to me that this is the conclusion they'd come to.

(x) Nico: I… I just can't stand being treated like that. My teachers, my classmates, my father… I don't ever want to relive what they did to me.

Furthermore, we also learned that their father was also in on the abuse and transphobia they received, and this combined with how Levi talked about his father in the previous episode, it's just daddy issues across the board huh? Guess DT-Dev had to make up for J's mom angst somehow lmao. But in all seriousness, the fact that Nico more than likely had no one be there for them during those times is probably part of why they drifted more towards animals, besides the fact that there's no social rules with animals. (...has anyone put alien blues by vundabar on a nico playlist? I'm getting sidetracked.)

There is also a lot I could say about Nico's predominant male figure subjecting them to such treatment and how that relates to their relationship with Ace and Ace in general, but I'll leave that for a future post. All I'll say for right now is to look up VeryWellMind's page on toxic masculinity and observe how many points relate back to Ace :3

(x) Nico: I don't expect you to forgive me. Very few people ever do. So I don't see the point in acting sorry.

The last thing I really want to mention when it comes to Nico is this line, specifically the bolded text, because... am I wrong to think this is a very strange thing to say in the context of talking about your attempted murder? I've seen people say that this could be in reference to Nico's blunt way of speaking, but I feel like that doesn't fit in with this context, and the wording itself feels too dramatic for that to be the case. I feel like Nico has resorted to violence against their bullies before. I don't think it ever got as severe as the situation with Ace, but if only a few days of abuse caused Nico to choose violence, I think its almost a guarantee that they resorted to violence a few times during the years they were abused by their peers. Would certainly explain those weird ass bandages around their upper arms. anyway Nico, I adore you very much despite your bullshit murder plan. can't wait to see where you go :) (also is it fair to say that the theories of literally anyone else committing Ace's attempted murder are de-confirmed now? Like I don't think you could get a greater confirmation than the first thirteen minutes of this episode lmao)

Hu

...Oh yikes. So I have defended Hu on a few occasions, talking about how she is just defending Nico and that her behavior towards them is completely normal. And I think I must take advantage of my minimal gag reflex and gulp down that L because lord have fucking mercy.

First and foremost

(x) Hu: You’re trying to paint them as the villain just because they lost their temper at Ace once!

(x) Hu: If Arei died of a stab wound, it would be wrong for me to say you did it.

Both of these lines were fucking crazy of her lmao. Absolutely nonsensical, she is so annoying /affectionate

Second and secondmost, Hu so clearly projecting her own emotions and feelings onto Nico so that they can look weak and small and thus have to rely on her and clinging onto that perception when it continues to falter is so fucking delicious. The way I worded that makes it seem like I think Hu is being malicious, I do not, but also that is literally what she is doing, and furthermore it is not working. This episode alone brought Hu in my mind to a high-c tier, to a high b-tier because there is nothing I love more in this world than fictional women being awful. And now that I have that all typed out, I can't help but realize that this sounds very familiar...

Oh! That's right!

...Man Hu, I get that it's across the color wheel, but you really like to foil with people in red. Yeah, I think that Acevi and Huco are meant to be parallels of each other relationship wise. Both of them feature someone (Ace and Hu) projecting a certain identity onto a stranger (Levi and Nico) to satisfy their own emotional needs and their reactions when those fantasies crumble beneath them. The dynamic between Ace and Hu is so delicious to me and I think should be explored more in the fandom. Not just because they somehow manage to give divorced spouses vibes despite one of the two being gay, but because I think the way that they foil, how they are different in contrast with how they're similar in typical DRDT fashion, adds so much to both of their characters and their relationships with the others. And I'm also glad that I at least have two more, count-em two, more parallels between Nico and Levi. I will keep spreading my Levco agenda until the day I die.

Okay but, though I've kind of been taking the piss out of Hu during this section, I do actually feel very bad for her. Especially if Eden is the culprit, because Hu and Eden have shown to be close on multiple occasions, and I could not imagine witnessing the gruesome execution of someone you love after pretty much dealing with two betrayals back-to-back. And I guess since we're here I should clarify that I do not think Hu, or anyone else except the two suspects we land on in this episode, are responsible for Arei's murder. Third Party Theory seems to hinge entirely on the idea that someone other than Nico attempted to kill Ace, and as I've said before I don't think that's the case. And given the fact that we have at least 40 minutes left of the overall case, I can't really see a way from a writer's perspective to throw in such a major final twist with an entirely different character without it feeling rushed. I'm sure DT-Dev could pull it off, but just on concept, not sure how it could work and also if Eden really is the culprit, Hu is 1000% going to try and take her place as the optimistic mood-lifter, and I need to see that outside of my imagination

There isn't much else for me to add, really, part from the fact that I am very excited to see how Hu's character progresses and how her relationships with the cast progress. ... ...hey can we count Hu and Nico as toxic yur--

Ace

Funny thing, I originally was not going to give Ace his own section in this post. But I decided I would anyhow for two reasons 1. Ace is a very fun character to analyze And 2. I get to once again talk about how much of a fucking liar this man is lmao

(x) Ace: Who’s gonna stick up for me, huh? No one. Because I have a spine and I don’t need other people to lie to me constantly to keep me happy.

[Pictured: Doesn't need other people to lie to him constantly to keep him happy]

(x) Nico: What else should I say? Ace: W— "What else should I say"?? Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

I love this jockey the best when he is gaslighting himself. We obviously know that Ace does, in fact, need people to lie to him to keep him happy. And I don't just mean that in the context of Levi and Nico. Ace has a very antagonized view of everyone in the cast

(x) Ace: -but now they apparently also have a fucking defense brigade to shield them from even having to think about the fact that they're a murderer.

the only person defending them was Hu

And that view of his classmates, to me anyway, is very intentionally cultivated by Ace himself. He is very aware that how he's behaving is wrong, and he is clearly not happy about it

(x) Ace: You think I act like this for fun, and then I go to bed and sleep soundly at night, you dumb piece of shit?

Ace doesn't like the fact that he is being rude to otherwise innocent people, but at the same time, he knows that any of these innocent people could stab him in the back without a second thought, like Levi. So Ace demonizes the cast in his head so that he can emotionally distance himself from them, and as such, will feel less bad about treating them like shit. As a certain indie game that had its nine year anniversary once said: The more you distance yourself, the less you will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.

Ace does need people to lie to him to keep him happy. Which brings me to his role in this whole scene with Nico which just- I love. So much.

It is so, so funny to me that Ace is putting this pressure on Nico to give an apology. And why is that? Ace treats both Nico and Levi in pretty much the same way, incredibly volatile even more so than the rest of the cast. And that makes a lot of sense given his relationship with both characters and how both of them have threatened his safety. But there is one key difference between his interactions with both of these people

(x) Levi: Ace, I already said— Ace: "Sorry" won't cut it. You know that's just a word you say, right? You think that saying two syllables is going to make me forget how you acted yesterday at that trial?

(x) Ace: You tried to murder me. You fucking tried to murder me! And after all's said and done, you can't even say something as simple as "sorry"?!

With Levi, he repeatedly denies and mocks his apologies. With Nico, it's almost like Ace wants them to apologize to him. But why is that? Ace certainly cares less about what Nico thinks compared to Levi, so why does he necessarily care whether or not Nico apologizes to him? You could say it's because the severity of what both of these people did to Ace, but to me personally? I think Ace just wants this all to end. Nico's murder attempt on him, the scar it left him, it was the perfect kick in the ribs to everything Ace had become since the events of Chapter 1. It confirmed to him that not only was his fear that everyone is out to get him, that he's going to be next after Xander and Min, completely justified to have. But also that his efforts to appear tough and threatening to prevent that fear from becoming reality were not only null, but thrown right back in his face.

(x) Ace: You know… Heh. I've always wondered which is worse, dying young or living a long shitty life of suffering. But it turns out neither of those options are as bad as this.

He is currently at his lowest possible point. At this point, the least that he wants is for Nico to provide him with some form of closure, so that he can put that moment where his guts were spilled on the floor to rest. But Nico isn't providing him that closure, they refuse to. And with Ace now being suspected for Arei's murder, regardless of if he survives this chapter or dies with it, I think he is finally going to break down. That hidden quote of his is fast approaching. I already know.

Rose

Rose is a character that, though I love dearly and believe she is one of the most strongly written of Despair Time's cast which is saying a lot, always somehow manages to fade into the background for me. But this episode bringing her to the forefront and giving us some extra character development from her is something I loved a lot.

For one, her clear and open betrayal towards Nico's actions was very upsetting to me, especially when you take into account that Nico asking Rose to teach them how to paint was probably the first time Rose has ever been asked to paint something for someone without a contract involved. I can imagine the idea of it must've been a breath of fresh air for her, and for it to only result in another red string in Nico's murder plan had to have been crushing.

But what's possibly even more crushing is her monologue after David gets frustrated with her, because...

(x) Rose: I know I'm supposed to remember everything. I know I'm supposed to be smart. I know I'm supposed to be helpful. Rose: Yet I'm not. Rose: I… I'm sorry for being useless. Maybe if I tried harder, if I just got over myself—

Wow this woman really does see herself as a commodity that only exists to be used by other people, doesn't she?

Something I've always appreciated about Rose's character is how it commentates on the subject of big corporations seeing art as content instead of something that was the product of someone pouring their heart and soul into a canvas. And how that mindset kills the desire for artists to create. And it is so fascinating seeing how that mindset reflects how Rose sees herself as a person.

She's one of the few characters in the cast that I can never really get a read on when it comes to where her character arc could be going, but I am very excited to see where DT-Dev takes her, even more-so with this development.

Teruko

I am like, 9999% sure this sprite is the first time she has smiled throughout this entire chapter. I am so happy for her.

Teruko, as always, stays being Best Girl™, and I absolutely adore the development given to her as well. Her realizing that her attempts to over-correct by isolating herself and not receiving help from anyone not only resulted in her getting hurt, but those around her getting hurt as well. And the fact that that's what leads her to coming to this conclusion really goes to show that, despite everything, she cares about these dumbfucks so much. And this is only taken further by her decision to trust Eden despite (HOW I INTERPRET IT) already knowing that Eden is a more likely culprit than Ace. She is choosing to trust her, regardless of if she'll regret it. And I honestly think that, regardless if Eden is the culprit or not, regardless if Teruko backslides, I think the fact that she got the courage to trust Eden at all is going to stick with her. I don't really have much else to say, really. Uhh... Teruko and Rose were kinda fruity this episode, I dunno.

David

[Sighs] This man provides us with a new headache every single episode and I love/hate him so much for it. So like...basically everyone else who watched this episode, I was confused as fuck watching whatever the hell David was pulling for the last 18 minutes of the episode. But now that I have time to think about it, I think I have a pretty stable idea. So, let's get into it.

Firstly

(x) David: Because I'm actually the first person to see the body.

Now, most people are immediately brushing this off as David lying to fuck things up again. But I think that a lot of people are forgetting two things 1. David is not a compulsive liar. He doesn't just tell lies for no/little reason behind them. The lies that he tells all have reasoning and inner logic to support them. 2. There really isn't any evidence suggesting that he couldn't had seen Arei's corpse before everyone else.

So though this point is mostly speculation, I think that David is telling the truth (sorry if this seems like an asspull, there is literally five more hours until the next episode comes out I need to speed things up)

But that's not really what I want to talk about in this section anyway, it's everything that comes after this that I want to talk about.

(x) David: All I want is for Teruko to distrust others.

...So. I think David is lying off his ass when he says that this is why he is doing this. And my reasoning for why I think that is pretty simple... Why would he care?

Like, yeah given the fact that David more than likely has Teruko's secret, he has every right to suspect that she might be affiliated with the death game, and also probably wants her dead. But...what does that have to do with Teruko's distrust in others? Not much. I think this sentence is David lying about why he is doing this to keep his true intentions underwraps. But what are those true intentions?

I can answer that pretty easily as well. David's whole argument in this part of the episode is the idea that Eden is not exempt from being the culprit. He suspects that she is the one behind Arei's murder, and I don't think that's helped by the seed planted in his head by Arei that even Eden must be responsible for the harm of someone. And well...I think we know how exactly David feels about the culprit behind Arei's murder

(x) David: Ahaha. It's just so foolish. David: For someone to take advantage of Arei like that… David: It's absolutely unforgivable. All she wanted was to change. David: What a reprehensible person this killer is. I look forward to seeing their painful execution.

And that leads me to what I think David is truly trying to do here: I think he is trying to get Eden voted for.

That is why he wants Teruko to believe him, and is using her trust issues against her to do so. He's seen the first trial, he saw how Teruko was able to convict Min as the culprit and convince the others to vote for her too. He wants her to do the same thing again, but for Eden. Really, it's a win-win for him. If Eden is the culprit like he suspects, then he gets to witness the unforgivable culprit get their just deserts. If Eden isn't the culprit, then everyone ends up getting executed. Which is, y'know, that other thing he really wants.

That's my personal theory on what David was trying to do here. It's not perfect, but it'll do for now. I love you, Mr. David Chiem. Please keep being confusing.

Eden

...So yeah, if you've been paying any attention to this post, I do still think Eden is the culprit. I also think during the scene with her and Teruko she is very desperate and wants to live and as a result, may have sipped a small tiny bit of the manipulation juice. But I will get to that in a bit First of all though, I absolutely loved the scene with Teruko and Eden. There is something about all of their scenes that just resonates with me in a way I can't describe, and this one is no different. The way it is shot, with the half-and-half and then the closeup on both of their expressions, and the fucking HUG CG? Luucarii and Zel both did an amazing job bringing the scene to life with their voices, and the choice to use the same OST as the kitchen scene in CH2-3 was fucking evil, especially because of what I'm about to say. All around, a fantastically orchestrated and emotional scene, I would expect no less from DT-Dev and their team.

But now it's time to talk Eden!Culprit. This is not something I should have to clarify if you aren't stupid, but I think before I really go into it I should say that I do not think Eden is an inherently malicious character, and I think she feels horrible for what she has possibly done. I also think she wants to live, like every bundle of pixels masquerading as a human. She can feel guilt for her actions and also indulge in a bit of gaslight gatekeep girlbossing. Min already proved that those two things can be simultaneous. With that out of the way... I do think that Eden is slightly manipulating Teruko here. And there is a very big reason why I think that is because of something @thebadjoe pointed out in their theory post

(x) Eden: Teruko, relationships aren't transactional. It's not that I did something good for you that you should do something good for me.

[11 episodes later]

(x) Eden: Please, Teruko… You’re my friend, aren’t you? Eden: Friends help each other…. So please, help me…

...Eden? Darling? I thought you said that relationships weren't transactional. You can't simply change your principles because they're getting closer to the truth. Putting the fact that Teruko never even considered her a friend to begin with on the shelf for right now, these two lines from Eden directly go against each other. Saying that relationships aren't transactional, and then saying that Teruko should help her because she's her friend. I think Eden knows that she is basically backed into a corner. There is no evidence suggesting that she couldn't had done it, and David is turning the tide in a way that is leading others to begin suspecting her. And just as Arei said...

(x) Arei: -you're pathetic and weak, and you always need to rely on others to get by.

Eden's is too overcome with emotion to defend herself properly, so she comes to Teruko to defend her for her. And when Teruko initially refuses, she becomes desperate. Using their relationship so that Teruko will believe her and trust her.

I don't think Eden wants to do this, but I don't think she knows what else to do, and is terrified and just wants this trial to be over. Even if it means treating her and Teruko's relationship like it's transactional. And Teruko, ultimately, gives into this idea.

(x) Teruko: Don’t… get me wrong. This isn’t out of kindness or pity or anything else. This is only because you helped me in the last trial.

(teruko is most likely simplifying her thought-process, I think she does genuinely care for eden and wants to trust her. But the idea of relationships as transactions isn't one inherently new to her, so I do think this is partially the truth.)

And I think the fact that Teruko does agree to help Eden is why Eden goes in for the hug. This is where we take that point of "Teruko never agreed to be friends with Eden" off the shelf

Eden knows that Teruko is choosing to not be her friend, despite considering Teruko as a friend. But I think in this moment, Eden thinks that Teruko finally considers her as a friend, someone she is willing to extend her hand to. And even if this day is her final one, I think Eden will appreciate forever.

Extra Thoughts !! - TERUKO SAID IT!! SHE SAID THE WORD!! THE T WORD!! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THAT FROM HER!! another one to cross off the bingo card babyyyy - that aside, as always the voice work for this episode was fucking phenomenal. I already mentioned Luucarii and Zel's performances, but Swords and Arakachi did amazingly too. Such an amazing frosting on top of the already great storytelling.

(x) Eden: Arei is… She could have been my friend! Why would I kill her??

- maybe I'm reading too deep into it, but I honestly think this is the closest we've gotten to direct confirmation that Eden thought Arei was full of shit when she said she wanted to change. Like...she literally corrects herself. Why the fuck did she correct herself. - this isn't something I usually compliment, but the music-choice in this episode was amazing as well. Every song chosen suited the situation and the rising tension, and all of them were fucking bops. - I also adored the new sprites, as I always do. Especially Nico's

Predictions for CH2-15 - I'll be honest and say I have none. At least other than the obvious, that being that there's 100% gonna be an Ace VS Eden scrum debate.

Conclusion

This episode was a fantastic way to lead into what will probably be the last episode of the trial. I cannot wait to see what's cooking come CH2-15, which is in... [looks at my conveniently placed watch] THREE HOURS?! WHAT THE FU-

UPDATED SWEAR STATISTICS CH2-14

UPDATED BINGO CARD

[olivsie]

Something I like about epic the musical is that it Gives it's changes to the original text an actual Purpose

( The first couple paragraphs are basically a rant regarding retellings. If you only want to hear about epic Skip to paragraph 4)

1. I am a bit annoyed by the lack of. Understanding as to why RETELLINGS aren't the most historicaly accurate things in the world. Sorry to break this to you, but that's both just how they work and I would guess how they reach success. Ancient Greece is a much different culture than our own, And most of us would be terrified to actually live back then. When you are Trying to create content That is based on ancient Greece And you want it to be successful/ At least reach a wide, and notably, MODERN audience. You're likely going to have to take some creative liberty And change a few things. Don't get me wrong, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIKE RETELLINGS KNOWING THAT FACT ( Me personally, I'm not the biggest fan of Miller's novels Even though I do like epic) BUT IT IS SOMETHING TO BE AWARE OF. And because of that I don't think I would ever expect a retelling to be perfectly accurate And I don't. I had interest in mythology LONG before epic the musical But I didn't actually read the Odyssey until getting into epic. I did not expect it To be just like the musical, I knew Odysseus was going to be much more of an asshole, along with other characters. The odyssey and epic are different pieces of media to me And I am not less of a mythology nerd for liking epic ( Though I will admit that sometimes I take tiny little fun facts of mythology And like to think of them in the context of epic, but that's just for fun.)

2. The Only time being a fan of retellings is wrong as if you genuinely believe they are perfectly accurate And refuse to listen to anything else ( Which has definitely happened, And mythology nerds have the right to be annoyed at that)

3. Some people only like to consume real mythology media, Others like both real mythology and retellings, Others only like to engage with retellings (I would hope they have the self-awareness to know It's not real mythology, From what I've seen some do and some don't, Unfortunately)

4. Ok. now on to what the title of this long ass rant says

I like that epic the musical Retells the story, Not only to both cater to modern audience But Also with its OWN purpose of man versus monster.

Obviously, this is not the point of the original text. Mythos Odysseus does not give a single fuck About the stuff that epic odysseus does. I don't know why the creator Decided to rewrite it this way, (If he's ever said why let me know) But I would assume he wanted to make something about the oddessy And this was simply a very creative way to Translate that for modern audience.

I like this because, yes, holy damn. It does have changes from the original text. But it's not JUST changing it. It's changing it with a purpose

It feels reminiscent of some kind of Dramatic play. the way that epic characterizes.

Polites' kind nature is Representative of the Concept of being merciful Represented in his lines such as " This life is amazing when you greet it with open arms" /"There is so much guilt inside your heart, So why not replace it?"

While in contrast you have eurylochus with more ruthlessness and cautious nature, this is Found in some of his lines such as "You rely on wit, and people die on it" /"we don't know what's ahead" / "I say we strike first. We don't have time to waste so lets raid the place-" /"Let's just cut our losses, You and I and let's run"

And then you have Odysseus, the man/monster. The first act of this Musical is his internal struggle With what He should be On that scale. And the other characters Represent this struggle in the song monster

" Is the cyclops struck with gilt when he kills, is he up in the middle of the night? Or does he end my men to avenge his friend and then Sleep knowing he has done him right?

When the witch turns men to pigs to protect her nymphs, is she going insane? Or did she learn to be colder when she got older and now she saves them the pain?

When a God comes down and makes a Fleet drown Is he scared that he's doing something wrong? Or does he keep us in check So we must respect him and now no one dares to piss him off"

He then Applies this to himself

" Does a soldier use a wooden horse to kill sleeping trojans cause he is vile? Or does he throw away his remorse and save more lives with guile?"

And this marks his turning point of deciding that Ruthlessness It's ultimately worth it if it means Getting home, as aeolus says "The end Always justifies the means"

It's in my opinion, a very creative way to go about retelling a myth. Is it accurate? Absolutely not. For example, circe (From what we know) is not protecting When she turns men into pigs, For all we know, she could just do it because Shits and giggles.

Her character and most others in epic is changed from the original. But it's not ONLY changing for the sake of apeling to the modern Western audience and being successful like Many other retellings. It is also and mainly changing for the sake of influencing the plot that Jorge Rivera herrans crafted For the sake of Retelling epic. It is creative and I enjoy it despite knowing it's not accurate.

[elliebean714]

Can we meet?

Sam Giddings x F!Reader (Platonic)

(+a little bit of Platonic Big Brother Figure Josh at the end)

The first step towards reconciliation

NRG (pt1)

Angst w/Comfort

An~NRG is my absolute favourite thing I've ever written, and I think I'm going to write more in the series bc it's so fucking good man, I'm sorry. There is a brief recap of NRG in this, but I highly recommend you read that first so you have the full context of everything💙

Post-Game

The ambient chatter of the coffee shop surrounds you, your leg jitters, you take a sip of your drink to give your hands something to do. Your eyes dart around the room, lingering on the door. She'll come, she will.

When she texted you, shock overcame you for a couple minutes, it had you questioning if it was real, if she was serious, what she wanted to say. Eight months ago you betrayed her, you thought the friendship was over, you accepted that it was, a random text in the middle of the day stopped your heart for a second.

It'd been a lonely eight months, Josh was in a mental institution, Sam needed a long time away from you, Beth was still up on the mountain, maybe Hannah's spirit joined her after the monster she became died? That was a somewhat comforting thought... somewhat.

The future of your relationship with Sam was in her hands, whatever she wanted, she'd get it. She wanted space, you gave it, she wanted to meet? You're waiting in her favourite coffee shop, you even got there early just to be 100% sure you wouldn't miss her.

Your heart jumps into your throat when Sam walks in. She looks around briefly until her eyes meet yours and she walks towards you, "Hi." She places her bag on the chair opposite you then pulls out her wallet "I'm going to grab some tea, give me a minute."

She's here, she came... you take a deep breath to steady yourself. You sip more of your drink so you're not staring at her, fuck, stop being weird! When you raise your head, she's walking back to your table "Hey, Sam"

"Hi..." She throws her bag on the floor and takes her seat "Uh, how've you been?"

"Fine? I've been fine, I guess. You?"

"Uh, I'm getting better. It's been a rough couple of months."

You nod in agreement "Two years of hell."

"Psh, yeah..." Sam sighs, there's a moment of silence before she speaks again "Tell me what happened that night."

"Long or short version?"

"Tell me everything about you and Josh."

You exhale, preparing yourself. "Okay... After you left to take your bath, Josh, Ashley, Chris and I did the spirit board thing, and-" you pause, she won't believe you about Beth. Noone will. And decide to leave that information out. "Josh was faking it to freak them out, he faked being super mad at them and dragged me away so he could tell me his plan. I read his notebook while he got into the psycho getup. I objected, but- but he explained it, it was revenge for what happened to B-Beth, and Hannah. I thought i wanted it. I was so upset, and I thought it would feel better to-" you shake your head "and I wanted his approval. Its embarrassing, but I was so lonely, and it felt really good to be needed. Especially by him, I mean- I'd take any possible way of staying at least a little close to Beth. We needed each other, we were hurting, and this was supposed to heal us. It was meant to be harmless. I swear."

"Did you know what he wanted to do to me when you read the notebook?"

"I didn't read it that thoroughly, I wasn't very focused on the details, but I know he didn't intend for you to be in that towel. It was just a horrible coincidence you decided to take a bath. I'm not defending him, and I'm absolutely not blaming you, but it wasn't either of our intentions to have you in that position."

Sam leans back in her chair, taking in your words. She nods slowly exhaling "what happened after you agreed to help him?"

"Uh, he left to go deal with Chris and Ashley, she told you what happened to them, and I left to go trash the cable car station in case someone went back there, Matt and Emily did, obviously. After that, I went back to the lodge and he let me know what the plan for you was..." your shameful eyes meet hers "I tried to fight him on it, I really did, but he was so steadfast in his plan, nothing could stop him. I turned on the projector and the audio thing when you got into the theatre, and ran away. I- I let him do that to you- to you, Sam- I felt sick the whole time. Then- he caught you, and wanted me to hold his stuff while he carried you to the hotel, but i didn't let him. I carried you, I just wanted to protect you however I could, even after what I did- the thought of letting him touch you in that state made me want to vomit. I tied you up once we got there and made sure there was a change of clothes waiting for you. Next I met him in his workshop, I was pretty upset at him, but then I saw a picture of Beth and-" you blink away tears "I needed someone, and he was there. All that anger just went away- all I knew was that he was warm, and comforting, and that there was so much love and grief between us, just hugging him made it feel like everything was going to be okay. I was desperate, i-"

She puts her hand up, stopping your explanation "Okay, yeah. I get it. Im glad you had each other, and..." She sighs "I'm glad you took care of me the best you could. You knew you fucked up, but did your best to keep it from getting worse. And, I'm glad it was you. If anybody."

Your heart melts at her words "Oh, Sam," you have to stop yourself from taking her hand "always. I made the worst mistake of my life, but I'd still do anything to protect you, as minimal as it may be."

"Yeah, thanks, Y/N. So, what did you guys do after dealing with me?

"We mostly just watched the surveillance cameras and talked. And hugged. God, I forgot how desperate for affection I was" You laugh sadly, "Uh, eventually Chris and Ash came down and Josh knocked them out. I lifted Ashley and tied her to the chair, he did the same with Chris, then we left so I could patch up his shoulder- oh, Ashley stabbed him, by the way. I don't know if you remember that, but yeah, so I was helping him with that, and then they woke up, started freaking out, and Josh tied me to the pipe and gave me an alibi so I wouldn't have gotten in trouble for anything. You could've... you could've told the police- you should've, why didn't you?"

Sam sighs and shakes her head "I didn't want you to be punished for it. I know it was mostly Josh, I know you were just being manipulated. And I didn't want you to have to deal with all your trauma alone. You deserved to do it at home, where you felt safe, I just- I didn't want to lose you too. Even though i needed space, and I wanted you out of my life, the thought of you being in prison, or whatever, just doesn't feel right. I needed the option to see you whenever I was ready."

"Sam-"

"I still cared so much- I was betrayed, I was confused, I was angry, but I still lov- cared about you. And I could never rat you out."

You look down into your room temperature drink, don't cry- don't cry- dont- "thank you. Thank you, Sammy."

There's a silence between the two of you, after a short while, you spot movement in the corner of your eye, Sam's hand on yours "of course. We protect each other. No matter what." Another pause "Y/N?"

She gives your hand a short squeeze, a small, almost imperceivable smile on her lips, before being replaced by a shaky sigh "I want to try to forgive you. It will take a while, you did break my trust, but I want to try"

You lift your head to meet her eyes, still so many emotions swirl in them "Yeah?"

"Are you still talking to Josh?"

"Yes..." you exhale slowly. "I know what he did, but I still need him. He's like... he's like my big brother."

"I understand. I just want us to be clear, I'm glad you have each other, I'm glad you have that support, but if we're ever going to have any sort of relationship in the future, I need you to keep us separate. I just cannot look at him without wanting to vomit."

You nod "of course. Of course, absolutely, that's completely fair."

A shaky breath of surprise and gratitude escapes your lips "Sam... are you sure?" You ask hesitantly, not wanting her to feel pressured at all

"I am. I understand your reasons. Josh took advantage of your desperation for connection. You needed him. I understand, Y/N. But I was hurt, and you did let it happen, even if you took care of me afterwards, I was still traumatised by what he did. It will take a long, long time for me to trust you again, but I really fucking miss you." Her grip on your hand tightens a little "And I want to give it a try."

"I- thank you, Sam. I completely accept that, take as long as you need. Please never feel pressured, too. I swear, your comfort and happiness are all that matter to me."

"I know, honey. I know"

~~

Later, you finish your drinks over a lighthearted chat with the lingering tension dissipating slowly. By the end, it's like nothing has changed. You're laughing at her stories, she's fascinated by your newest interest. You've got your best friend back. For a few hours, at least.

Sometime after, you walk her out of the café, "it was amazing to see you"

"It really was. I missed you so much" Sam pulls you into a hug "I'll text you later, okay?"

You nod "sure, whenever you're ready."

She smiles, then heads down the street, out of view. You turn the other way, towards your apartment. The September chill nips at your nose, its weird to remember there was once a time a chill like that was warm, it was loving, it was heaven, for one night, it was Beth.

Now, its just freezing. No chill can hold you, no chill can speak. Tell you it loves you and that you can never return to it. Ever since you left the mountain you'd been frantically trying to figure out what the hell was going on, to no avail. Just crazy people on the Internet. Not that you're any better.

Hey, Beth? There's no response, there hasn't been for 8 months. I talked to Sam today. She said she wants to try to forgive me. I need to prove I'm worthy of it, if I even am. All I want is for her to be happy, ill do whatever it takes, whatever she wants.

I hope you're doing okay up there. I still think about what could've happened if I stayed with you. Sometimes I wish I did, I'm so lonely. It might be worse now that I know your spirit is still here and I just can't have you. I'm trying to exist, I'm trying to be normal, I'm trying to be happy for those good parts of you, of me, of... whatever the hell it is connecting us. But I'm struggling, Beth.

I miss you so much. I love you so much.

You're rolling your eyes, I know. I'm serious though! I'm trying to deal with college applications, and visiting Josh, and grieving you and work, and- you laugh wryly, I'm just so stressed all the time.

You unlock your apartment door and step inside, removing your coat and shoes. Once you're comfortable on your couch, you get a call from the hospital. You pick up hastily, excited to hear Josh's voice.

"Hey, loser." You can hear his smile through the phone.

"Hey, nerd." You squirm enthusiastically "what's up?"

"Nothing new. How's the college search going?"

"Amazing! None of them have gotten back to me, and I'm stressed the fuck out! Crazemazing!!"

"Wow. I'm so jealous of you"

"Oh, you should be, I get up at 6 am everyday, get yelled at for 10 hours for $10 an hour, get home at 5 pm if I'm lucky, and my apartment is the size of a storage closet! This is being an adult! I love it!"

"You know it's bad when the guy in the mental hospital feels bad for you."

"Oof, that does hurt, yeah." You lie down on the couch "are the new meds working?"

He seems a bit take aback by the sudden change in tone, but answers truthfully "mhm. I think they are. I haven't had any hallucinations in a while."

"Took forever. But I'm glad you're finally getting better,"

"Feels good to be able to trust my own head again."

You guys chat for a few more minutes until his time is up. Before he hangs up, you ask "so, when can I see you again?"

"Uh... when are you free?"

"Any day. I'll skip work for you, no problem."

"Uhm... maybe Tuesday then?"

"Sure. I'll be there."

After the call cuts off, you place the phone on your chest and smile warmly. Things are hard, you've been alone for so long... but now? Josh is getting better, and Sam wants you back in her life. Maybe things wont be so bad anymore... maybe you'll make it through.

But I'll be okay. I promise. I'll be okay, Beth. We'll all be okay.

♡☆♡☆♡☆♡☆

~Elliebean714🦋

Send Requests NEOWWW!!

(If you want🥺 👉👈)

[wordsmithwhumpsandfluff]

Word I think you know my request before I'm even done typing it. Ofc its Aiden! I'm thinking, since Aiden and Spirit both like horror movies, they do a little spooky movie night where they get to binge on sweets and its all fine and what not, until the last (more gross) movie, that cause Aiden to be sick in the now empty candy bowl and Spirit is being v teasing saying he got sick bc of the movie, but nope, its because his silly ass ate ALL the candy

Anon: Hi can you have one of your ocs eating too much halloween candy? It can be any reason other context just to much candy.

Two requests for my sweet boi overstuffed on sweets!! Ask and you shall receive!!!!

(P.S. Surprise ending👀👀👀👀👀???????!!!)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re going where?!”

“Hallo-scream at Bush Gardens, because your dad is a fully-grown 2-year-old,” Aiden’s mom said, and Aiden could almost hear her eye roll.

“So, you’re going all the way to Florida? Tonight?!” Aiden began to pace on the sidewalk outside of the college’s entrance.

“Yeah. And we were thinking about visiting your auntie there for a while, so we’ll be gone for the Trunk-or-treat this weekend.”

Aiden couldn’t help but pout. He loved Halloween, and so did his parents. Every year, they bought two giant boxes of candy: one for Halloween night, and one for the local Trunk-or-treat event in his hometown. And he was gonna drive home that very weekend for Trunk-or-treat.

“And you’re taking dad’s truck to the airport,” Aiden sighed, disappointed. “So, I can’t even do it on my own.”

“I’m sorry, Aiden,” his mom apologized. “I’ll tell you what though. We have this giant box of candy, and the airport we’re going to is near where you live, so I’ll bring you a grocery bag full of candy on our way there. You can share it with friends or something. Okay? I promise, we’ll be home for Halloween night.”

Aiden sighed, smiling a bit at the fact that his mom was clearly trying. “Yeah, it’s perfectly fine, mom. I’ll see you when you’re on your way. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Aiden hung up. He knew he should be happier for his parents. Especially his dad since the guy could barely ever go out to enjoy himself anymore while paralyzed from the waist down. If his dad wanted to have fun, he shouldn’t stop the guy. And if he didn’t have school still, he honestly might’ve asked to go with them.

Suddenly, as if a lightbulb turned on in his head, Aiden grabbed his phone and sent a quick text to Spirit. He knew she wouldn’t see it till she got out of class for the day, but still. He sent a message saying ‘On a scale of yes to YESSSS, how much do you like candy??🍬🍭🍫‘, and then he made his way to class.

— — —

Aiden was in the middle of getting ready for his security shift at the mall when his phone started ringing with a call from his mom.

Putting on a smile, he made his way out of his apartment and downstairs to the parking lot where his dad’s truck was, window open, his mom driving and his dad smiling in the passenger seat. “Special delivery,” the smiling man said. “Did someone order a bag of candy and two parents he’s ashamed of?”

Aiden rolled his eyes, smiling as well as he made his way over to his mom’s open window. “Hey,” he said. “Excited for Florida?”

“For Bush Gardens?” his dad said. “Yes. For seeing my sister?” he pretended to shudder, and his wife rolled her eyes at him. “Rachel isn’t that bad.”

“Try being related to her, honey.”

Aiden chuckled. “When are you two coming back?” he asked.

“Two days before Halloween,” his mom stated, turning in her seat to reach for something in the backseat. When she turned around, she had a grocery bag full of candy.

“You’ll be pleased to know that your mother removed all the Tootsie rolls for you.”

Aiden smiled a bit wider. “Thanks,” he said, taking the bag as his mom handed it to him. “Shoot me a text as soon as you land, okay?”

“We will,” his mom assured him. “Love you, sweetie.”

“Love you, mom.” He looked at his dad. “Love you, dad.”

“Love ya too, kiddo. Enjoy the diabetic goodie bag— hEY!” he exclaimed as his wife slapped his arm. “Okay okay, love ya, Aiden. Bye.”

Aiden grinned as his mom shut the window, and he waved as his parents drove off.

With the bag of candy in one hand, he took out his phone with the other and checked his messages. Spirit had texted back, ‘On that scale, maybe a 8.5 out of “YESSS”, as you so eloquently put it. Why do you ask?’.

— — —

Spirit was a fucking sight.

Of course, she always was in Aiden’s eyes, but something about her outfit when he opened his door for her made his heart and stomach simultaneously leap.

Baggy black jeans with rips that sat a bit low on her hips, and he could see fishnets through the rips. The fishnets peeked out past the top of her pants, and stopped at her midriff, which was exposed because she was wearing a cropped green-and-black-stripped sweater. She has a few chains on her belt loops, a spiked choker, and her streaks had been touched up and were bright red again. Her hair was loose, and almost down to her waist.

Aiden had no idea he was staring, till Spirit gave him an embarrassed smile, wrapping her arms around her waist to hide her exposed stomach. “I don’t dress like this usually,” she said. “I get a bit carried away with outfits in October.”

Her cheeks were reddish with embarrassment, and Aiden sighed and smiled, leaning forward to plant a kiss on her forehead. “You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he told her, his own cheeks red from the sight of her.

Spirit’s cheeks only reddened more, but her smile became happier.

Spirit came inside and saw a notebook on the coffee table in the living room, as well as a humongous bowl filled with candy.

“Damn,” she chuckled. “Your parents gave you all of that?!”

“Yup.” Aiden grinned as he and Spirit sat on the couch together. “And this,” he picked up the notebook, “is our movie itinerary. You said you don’t have classes or work tomorrow, right? Cuz this will take us well into the hours of morning.”

Spirit shook her head, still smiling. “Free all day tomorrow,” she stated. “So, what movie’s first?”

“Well, I have a system,” Aiden said, sitting up straighter as he showed the list on the notebook. She almost laughed at how messy the page was, with bullet points, pros and cons, crossed out words, and even little doodles.

“How this works is that we start with a very non-scary movie, and slowly work our way to scarier and scarier movies until we get to the scariest movie I could find that wasn’t ‘The Exorcist’ since I know you’ve watched that five times. It’s called ‘Terrifier.’.

“Okay then,” Spirit grinned, looking at the list. Her smile faltered slightly at the forth movie. “Um, can we skip ‘The Reef’?”

“Oh,” Aiden said, grabbing a pen that was also on the coffee table. “Sure. Have you seen it? Is it bad?”

Spirit shook her head. “No, I’ve heard it’s a good movie. I just. . . I really hate shark movies. They’re terrifying in a not-fun way.”

Aiden did notice the way her voice deepened a little as she said that, but he chose not to say anything since he got the feeling Spirit wouldn’t want the mood to be ruined.

“Okay. I was debating between this one and ‘Unhinged’, so we can watch that instead.”

Aiden put on the first movie: ‘Hocus Pocus’. From the candy bowl, Spirit grabbed a blue FunDip and he grabbed a king-size Twix bar. He hadn’t had chocolate in a surprisingly long time, and was more than happy to enjoy it.

By the end of the first movie, Aiden had eaten two Twix bars and a bag of gummies. Spirit had her FunDip and a few caramel candies.

The next movie was ‘Gremlins’. Spirit had to pause the movie for ten minutes just to rant about the time Isaac had worn a Gizmo onesie for Halloween.

By the time they got to the third movie, ‘Coraline’, Aiden had a pile of empty wrappers by his side. Spirit, blissfully taking her time munching on a Caramello bar, was unaware of Aiden’s pile which was much larger than hers.

At around 1 in the morning is when they started ‘Unhinged’. It was the first movie that actually gave both of them some chills. He couldn’t help but wince and look away at some parts, and Spirit cringed at them but comforted Aiden by keeping her head on his shoulder.

“I never want to drive again,” Aiden said after that movie was over. “I’m now terrified of every idiot I’ve ever flipped off or honked at on the road.”

“Don’t be. Anything someone tries to do to you, I’ll do it unto them tenfold.” The way she said it so casually made Aiden feel that she literally would.

“Y’know, I’m both terrified and in awe of you.”

That made Spirit smirk. “As you should be. What’s next?”

The bowl was nearly empty by four in the morning, when they finally got to the last movie.

In all truth, Aiden had started feeling a little nauseous by the time they were halfway through ‘Unhinged’. Still, he ate habitually while watching movies—a habit—and he just couldn’t stop, ignoring the nausea as long as he could.

Spirit was only occasionally eating an M’n’M or two as their last movie began, whilst Aiden moved on to his seventh Twix bar of the night. He knew he should stop, but between his habit and the slight lingering disappointment about not getting to do Trunk-or-Treat, he just couldn’t stop.

Aiden reached into the bowl one last time, only to realize it was actually empty now. More than half that candy was in his stomach now, and without being able to distract himself by eating more, he could only feel the stuffed, sticky feeling in his body.

His mouth was flooding with saliva that he kept swallowing. Not to mention, watching TV so late was making his eyes and head hurt a bit.

He had no idea how Spirit looked just as awake and happy as she was when she got there. Witchcraft, he thought to himself jokingly.

But in all seriousness, he was actually feeling sick now, and the movie really wasn’t helping. It was gory and disturbing, and that was only making his nausea worse.

It was at a particularly horrific scene that Aiden felt his head spin and his stomach revolt. He sat up leaning forward slightly and forcing Spirit to sit up since she’d been leaning against his shoulder.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked as he just stared at the floor, swallowing the water filling his mouth.

He didn’t answer, and Spirit put a hand on his back. “Is it the movie? Too much?” There was a hint of amusement in her voice.

Aiden wanted to shake his head, but knew that doing so would only make him sicker.

“We can turn off the movie if you want to. If it’s too much, we can—”

Aiden interrupted her with a gag that came right after a loud jumpscare, and he fumbled for the empty candy bowl, barely managing to lean over it before disgustingly sweet puke poured into the bowl. He vomited harshly between gags, his stomach deciding to rid itself of all the sugar.

Spirit’s hand didn’t move from his back, and she cupped his forehead with her other hand to help him aim.

Aiden groaned, spit dangling from his lower lip. “S-srry,” he slurred. “T-too much—” he didn’t finish that sentence before gaging and puking again.

“It’s fine, I get it,” Spirit said, grabbing the remote and turning off the movie. “This really was a super intense horror movie. It’s fine if it’s too much for you.”

Aiden blushed. “N-not the movie,” he stated nauseously. “The c-candy made me sick. Too much candy.”

Spirit’s eyes widened, and she looked past Aiden and saw the pile of wrappers by his other side. “Oh, damn,” she sighed, the hand on his back reaching up to his nape, her fingers scratching the lower back of his head, making him let out a small, pleased groan.

He felt his stomach squeeze again, and he projectile vomited once again into the bowl, almost missing and trembling from the force. “This sucks,” he mumbled, spitting into the bowl. “I’m sorry I’m ruining the night.”

“It’s fine, honey,” she said without thinking, and Aiden’s eyes widened slightly, the nausea vanishing the moment he registered what he’d just been called.

He lifted his head from the bowl, looking at her. “‘Honey’?

Spirit must’ve not even noticed she’d called him that because she suddenly looked surprised, blushing furiously. “S-sorry. That just. . . came out for some reason.”

Aiden opened his mouth to say something, but Spirit interrupted him, asking, “Are you empty? Or still nauseous? Maybe you should lay down. I can clean up here.”

Aiden just looked at her and sighed with a small smile. “Still a little nauseous, but I think I’m empty. I feel way better. Less stuffed, y’know?” It wasn’t a lie at all. He really did feel better now that he wasn’t stuffed with sugar anymore.

“Okay,” Spirit said, taking the bowl from him. “I’ll clean up, and you should lay down. It’s really late anyway. Or, early, I guess.”

Aiden couldn’t say anything before she stood and walked away to the kitchen to clean out the bowl in the sink. With a heavy sigh, Aiden turned the TV off and stood making his way to his bedroom, first washing his face and brushing his teeth before crawling under his sheets, hugging his stomach since it was still churning a bit.

Spirit came to his room, hovering in the door. “You still feel sick at all?”

“Nah,” he said. He waited for her to come in, but she stayed where she was.

In the dark, he couldn’t see her blushing, but he could hear it in her voice as she said, “D-do you mind if I crash on your couch for the night? I just. . . I-I think it’s a bit late for me to be driving home, and—”

“Cuddle me,” he said, straight to the point.

He knew he must’ve caught Spirit off guard because she was speechless.

“You shouldn’t have to sleep on the couch while I’m in a bed,” he said. “You’re my girlfriend.” He paused for a second before sitting up slightly. “I-I mean, only if you’re comfortable with that,” he said quickly. “If you prefer the couch, then absolutely! I was just saying that if you want to cuddle and spend the night, then—”

Spirit came into the room and said, “Scoot.”

Aiden smiled widely, scooting over so she could climb in with him.

She didn’t touch him, and he didn’t touch her, both of them feeling hesitant.

Spirit took a deep breath. “W-want me to rub your stomach?”

Aiden let out a small sigh, smiling. “Yeah.” He turned onto his back, and Spirit moved closer. She pressed her forehead to his shoulder, and her hand rested on his stomach, over his shirt.

She started slowly rubbing, silent and still completely flushed.

“You called me ‘honey’.”

She almost combusted with embarrassment. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry if it was weird or—”

“I like it.”

Spirit froze, looking at his face that she could see better with her eyes adjusted to the dark. He was looking at her as well, smiling. “I mean, we’re a couple now. Couples are supposed to have nicknames, right?” He smirked. “Right, babe?”

Spirit felt her whole body burn, and she just stared silently at him. His smirk faltered at her silence. “Spirit? Are you—” he didn’t finish, silenced as Spirit suddenly leaned forward and kissed him, her hands coming up to cup his face.

Forehead kisses were one thing, but this. . .

When Spirit pulled away, Aiden’s eyes took a moment to flutter open again. He stared at her, wondering if that had really just happened.

Spirit’s face twisted slightly when he didn’t say anything and she sat up, feeling her throat constrict and her eyes burn a bit. “S-sorry,” she said, trying not to sound all choked up. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that.”

Aiden instantly came back to his senses and sat up as well. “Hey hey, it’s fine,” he said, but Spirit shook her head, curling up slightly.

“I-I should’ve asked. That was out of nowhere, and you probably weren’t ready for that, and I just—”

“Spirit, shhh,” he said, one arm circling her and his other cupping her cheek. “Don’t apologize. Really, it’s fine.”

“I just—”

“It’s fine.”

Spirit met his eyes, taking a deep breath. “You sure?”

He smiled, answering her question by kissing her this time. She kissed back, and Aiden felt his heart all but burst.

He loved this girl. And he wanted to make sure she would always remember that.

When they separated, Spirit hugged him, burying her face in his chest and sighing deeply. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “The only thing you have to thank me for is for brushing my teeth so I didn’t have puke breath for that kiss.”

Spirit laughed. “Yeah. Thanks for that, too.”

[kurishiri]

Hello! I hope you're doing well. You are truly doing the fandom a service with your translations🙏 As an impatient EN player, they help in so many ways. I also enjoy when you add footnotes that explain some nuances! Would it be okay to ask how you went about learning JP, how long it's been since you started, and if you have any tips for beginners? Reading your and judemoonsbeauty's translations was the final push I needed to start learning the language but aaa~ it's sometimes so overwhelming TT

Oh, and what is it like to play both the JP and EN version? Do you have a slightly more critical way of reading the EN version because you're comparing it to your translations or is that not on your mind?

ANYWAYS this is getting a bit long~ but really, thank a lot for what you're doing for the fandom🫶

helloo anon! wow your words flatter me, this means a lot to me to hear 😳🤍 i will tell ciele too! i’ll put my answers below a cut if its okie — it got pretty long for me too, heh. sorry in advance if anythings worded awkwardly!

how i learned japanese and when i started

its a mix of classroom setting and self teaching for me! jp wasnt offered as a language option at our school before undergrad, so from maybe middle school ish on? i taught myself hiragana and katakana with quizlet, some kanji as well.

i learned very basic grammar and vocabulary while being self-taught, but most of it was gained from the classroom setting during undergrad. i also worked as a japanese tutor. and i took classes solely in jp. everything — and i mean everything — but explanation of important projects and whatnot probably, was done in jp.

my prof from those classes basically trained all of us to read entire texts in jp in a relatively short amount of time and be able to understand what was going on. its the process of learning to not get caught up in every individual word you may not know and using context clues, and this does take time! but it would be no exaggeration to say this has helped me read ikevil jp. atp i think i can read a story in ikevil jp at a similar pace as i do in en (maybe a tad slower) without a translator, and understand what’s going on.

tips for beginners learning japanese

if you ask me, i would not try to read games or stories like ikevil in japanese right off the bat. i can guarantee you doing so is your one way stop to getting overwhelmed and potentially having the opposite effect. ik its tempting, but those are catered to native jp speakers and assume you have cultural knowledge as well, as is evident in some parts of roger, alfons, ellis’ routes. so if you dont at least have a solid foundation in japanese, its probably gonna be a struggle. well, the most obvious example would probably be jude and how he speaks in an entirely different dialect (but one still understandable if you know the tokyo one), known as the kansai dialect.

i would suggest once you at least have hiragana and katakana learned along with some basic sentence grammar (like learning basic functions of particles like は, が, に, で, etc) to use sites that are geared to people learning japanese. the one i recommend personally is nhk. they literally exist as a resource for you to help you learn the language. as you continue, i would use the weekly news in simple japanese feature they have. its a bit of a more boring read than ikevil maybe lmao but what i like abt this is that they have furigana for all the kanji, so they’ll tell you exactly how to read a kanji character, as long as you know the hiragana alphabet. you can also listen to an article be read aloud and also hide the furigana to test how well you can read the kanji.

other resources to learn grammar and whatnot that you may find helpful would be tae kim’s guide, maggie-sensei, and jlpt-sensei. they have these comprehensive guides for grammar structures and whatnot that you may commonly see in japanese. for learning vocabulary or kanji, i would suggest using mnemonics or “image stories” and also investing some time to learn the meanings of radicals, or [部首] (bushu) in japanese.

what its like to play both jp and en

honestly im not too critical of my own work and i dont consider my work worse or better than the official translators. in the end, translating is also an art; the same prompt can yield different results for each person. in the end, the official translations are just another interpretation of the same text, with an added layer of localization to cater to the western audience and perhaps some limitations due to it being a visual novel. so i dont think official tls should be considered more or less valid than any other tl out there. but i believe there are certain advantages to read fan-tls as well. for example, you can read the route in its most authentic form without much changes from the jp version. and fan translators can also use footnotes to explain certain nuances.

there are sometimes i read a story and can notice some things a bit lost in translation. this isnt a bad thing. its quite inevitable, in fact, seeing just how different english and japanese are as languages. but the official game doesnt have the luxury to really explain these. for example, here is one from alfons mad love end in his route.

i guess another thing is that another motivator for me is trying to make in-game feel even a bit more accessible especially content that may be behind a paywall or require grinding. i cant really afford everything and im only one person in the end, but i dont see a reason to not try and share these sorts of things if i can. ig its sorta my way of tryna contribute to the fans.

[maniculum]

Welcome to another Scorpion Sunday! We're almost through all the ones from the original post, but I've still got a couple that people have sent me sitting in my inbox. This'll get more sporadic once we're through the list though -- only one left, I believe.

This one is from the Breviari d'amor, a book by 13th-century French author Matfres Eymengau (and variant spellings). I can't tell you about this particular manuscript of the Breviari d'amor, because it's Harley MS 4940 at the British Library, and... yeah, cyberattack still ongoing, you know the drill. The text itself is a bit odd; a "breviary" is a type of prayer book, and... well, in the absence of being able to access the manuscript listing or being willing to trawl through the university library's holdings just to fill out a Tumblr post, I'm going to just tell you that Wikipedia says this book's "sole purpose is the reconciliation of love for God with the erotic amours of the troubadour lyric". I think there's a 50/50 shot of that being really interesting or incredibly tedious, so I might have to check it out later.

As for the actual illustration, it's a bit of kismet that this one was slated for today. I originally mocked this scorpion for having a head that, let's be real, looks like a butt. Ever since, I've been getting occasional notes on that post telling me this is actually a pretty realistic scorpion head in outline. And just earlier today, @bogleech reblogged that post with an actual photograph of a scorpion with this head shape:

Which really calls into question how this illustration came about. How did the illustrator nail such a weirdly specific detail but otherwise draw something that only looks like a scorpion in general silhouette? Bogleech suggested they might have seen a damaged specimen with pieces missing and filled in the blanks; I think it's also possible that someone drew a scorpion from personal experience, then someone else copied that drawing and messed up a couple details, then someone copied that drawing... &c. You know, Manuscript Telephone. Or maybe it's a bit of both and this can be traced back to a damaged manuscript. Or maybe this artist was working from a description that included "head like a butt" but not "pinchy claws" for some reason.

Anyway, moving on to the points:

Small Scuttling Beaſtie? ✓

Pincers? ✘

Exoskeleton or Shell? ... hm. I honestly think we have to consider this one. Given the context of what that head looks like on an actual scorpion, maybe this one does have a carapace of some kind over its head. And there's something going on with that spinal ridge thing. On the other hand, the rest of it is clearly furry. I think i'm going to split the difference and give it ½.

Visible Stinger? ✘

Limbs? 6

As for vibes... would I like to meet this thing more or less than I would like to meet a regular real-world scorpion? Honestly, I think it balances out. I'm a little concerned that what I'm looking at here is a furry alligator with a weird head, but i do also think it has a certain charm, and i feel like it all boils down to just how large this thing is. If it's alligator-sized, I don't want it around me; if it's scorpion-sized, I think i'm cool with it. Again I will split the difference and give it the middle-of-the-road "about the same as a real scorpion" score: 3/5.

That means the scorpion with the strange-but-accurate head gets:

5.1 / 10

i'm sorry, it really does look like a butt

[mysteryoftwilight]

What's the Deal with London in Kingdom Hearts?

I mean is that worldbuilding poorly explained or what? Bad jokes aside, I now need to steal people's eyeballs for a moment while I gesture wildly at inconsistencies in Kingdom Hearts, specifically KH1 but I'm sure the other games as well... which is completely strange and totally new for this fandom.

The main thrust of what I'm trying to get at is that both Edwardian London (if not all of England, which I'll get to in a second) and Victorian England (if not Alice's family's estate in Victorian England) are both worlds in the KH Universe with a second point that world travel is easier than the games try to present. I'm going to break this up into three main pieces of evidence, in order of importance, before moving into conclusions and fun things it means if I'm not misconstruing the evidence. Which is possible, I'm a fallible human being but I'm going to post this anyway.

{ the rest is under a read more because I'm not an asshole and this is roughly 3,500 words so it'd clog dash. You have been warned }

Main Argument: Edwardian London exists in Kingdom Hearts, and it is not connected to Neverland, and Victorian England exists in Kingdom Hearts and is not connected to Wonderland.

Okay kiddos, let's start with some important context and definitions. When I say 'Edwardian England', I specifically mean the era of English history from between 1901 to 1914. For setting the time periods of the worlds I'll be discussing here, I am going to assume that the Disney films roughly line up with the books they are based upon. This post primarily focuses on three worlds: Wonderland, Neverland, and Deep Jungle. As you'd guess from that selection, this is very much a KH1 oriented post and I'm sure we could probably dismiss them as being later retconned but I can't think of anything that directly contradicts them so...

Also I'm assuming that the Disney films aren't too far off from the original source material, so if they are uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, to my knowledge, does not specify a date in the text itself but considering the background of it being written for an actual real-world child, I will assume that the publication year, 1865, to be the in-text year and also the year the movie (and by extension, the year Alice herself comes from in Kingdom Hearts) takes place. This places her roughly in the middle of the Victorian era (I know I defined only the Edwardian era before but this will be important for something else later). Pinning down the year for Neverland is slightly more difficult, as its source material is from two linked sources: the original play, Peter Pan: or, The Boy Who Wouldn't Grow Up, and the novel Peter and Wendy. The play was first debuted in 1904, while the novel (which is similar yet different) was first sold in 1911. Both are well into the Edwardian period, and I again cannot seem to find any confirmation of the date in-text so we're going by publication date again. Deep Jungle's source, the novel Tarzan of the Apes, does actually give a rough enough in-text year: Tarzan's birth parents are marooned in 1888, and the main plot takes place when Tarzan himself is 21, making the year 1909.

That effectively means that, roughly speaking, the London we see in Kingdom Hearts I at the end of Neverland (which is confined to Big Ben but we see the whole city below) could very well be the same one that Jane and Clayton (and presumably Jane's father but we never see him so make of that what you will) left to get to Deep Jungle.

Now that the concept is established and definitions clairfied, let's move on to my evidence for this and other Weird Things™️ that occured to me.

Main Evidence 1: Deep Jungle, the Union Jack, and the Globe

So, I'll start with Deep Jungle because it provides the biggest puzzle piece I think. I know that Deep Jungle will probably not show up again in the series, but it did in 1 and so it gets to be here. Deep Jungle is the second largest wrench into the 'world order' shtick they brought up in Wonderland (and then never again), because it is pretty clear that Jane & Clayton are not from the jungle. They have a camp, for one, and for two they are the only humans (besides Tarzan) in the entire world. Jane asks Sora if he's 'also here to study the gorillas', which mean her and Clayton came to the jungle / island / whatever it is. They also have more technology than the rest of the world would imply, a physical map of Africa, and, most damning for this post: a Union Jack on the flag pole. This means that, in the Kingdom Hearts universe, Jane and Clayton are English folk from England, as they feel the need to fly their flag. Moreover, the map of Africa (on the far wall of the tent with Jane in it) means they are aware of other continents from Earth.

Also an important note is that they have a globe in the base camp. I'm going to take this as further evidence of them coming from a place that is scientifically advanced enough to know what the continents of the world roughly look like.

Here's where things get tricky, though: how did they get there? As far as I can tell (looking over the dialogue from a script someone uploaded to GameFAQs so take it as you will as well as just generally looking around what you have access to in the game), they don't have a vessel that would have gotten them there, much less get them back. Did they come in a ship that just let them off there for a while, like the movie? Possibly. Hook's ship is able to do that, after all. Which just further puts a hole in the world traveling mechanics the series presented: how were they able to get their ship from England to the other world of Deep Jungle without them getting eaten by Heartless? Was their ship a gummi ship? Is Hook's ship actually a gummi ship? (Unlikely, it's too smooth and he still had it in Birth By Sleep, during which Gummi Blocks weren't a thing iirc)

Or are there other, safer ways to traverse between worlds than gummi space or the Lanes Between? Can you use a sea faring vessel to sail the Ocean Between and get to those New Worlds? Also doubtful but probably the easiest answer.

(Also, just to note because I can't think of anywhere else to say it and I thought it was interesting: Clayton's rifle is a double barreled rifle and, more to the point, a common hunting implement for gentleman hunters back in the day. The fact Sora can tank shots designed to bring down elephants is pretty bonkers. Clayton is also one of two Kingdom Hearts characters (internationally) to use a gun, the other being Barbossa in his fight in Kingdom Hearts II. Fun facts that only two people pull out actual gun-guns in the whole series... unless you're playing the Japanese version of II, then one of the undead pirate mooks uses a flintlock rifle, which is why their crossbows in the international version makes a gun sound. )

Main Evidence 2: Neverland, Big Ben, and the Absence of Wendy

Okay, so Neverland has appeared in other games so it holds a bit more water than Deep Jungle. Now, in KH1, I don't know why they call it 'Neverland', because it's entirely Hook's ship and Big Ben... which is in London. And seeing as, to my knowledge and brief searches through the scripts of Days and Birth by Sleep, they never bring up Wendy or London, and there doesn't appear to be a hint that it is otherwise connected, I am led to believe this is another case of characters that shouldn't be able to easily traversing beyond their world easily traversing beyond their world. Wendy was kidnapped as far as we're told in KH1, and maybe Pan only really met her when she was kidnapped by Hook. The bigger issue comes during the outro of the world, where Peter Pan straight up says 'oh yeah, just bring Kairi to Neverland when you rescue her!', as if it's completely normal to travel there from somewhere else. Peter doesn't seem to have an issue traveling the Ocean Between, and neither does Hook for that matter, but he's a villain so we could possibly handwave that as 'he was given those powers by Maleficent', who herself is a whole can of worms but this post is long enough.

Wendy proceeds to never be brought up again throughout the DS version of Days. I'm not sure about the manga, but I'm mostly focusing on the games so if she does uh... sorry, but good on you for reading the manga it's good. The point here is that if it was as simple as Peter says to simply 'remember Neverland and you can see me again', she probably would be some level of presence. I'll bring it up again in the Wonderland section of this post, but I think this solidifies that it is, indeed, a separate world: the worlds separate after KH1 and travel between them should be more difficult.

Now, there is the slight hole of the world map icon in both KH1 and Days having Big Ben on display (despite not going there in Days, but it seems to just be the KH1 icon flipped). I'm choosing to view that as a gameplay concession and a reusing of assets that didn't need to be changed, because otherwise we're opening another can of worms of how is Neverland two worlds connected like that? Most worlds in Kingdom Hearts are fairly uniform and aesthetically consistent due to being based on individual movies, and while that explanation would make sense, it doesn't account for Wendy not going back to Neverland and Roxas not going to Big Ben in Days (though that second one can easily be handwaved as 'fighting at the clocktower would've been a pain in the ass using a DS d-pad'. The only world that gets is kinda an outlier that goes against that sentiment is Disney Town / Castle, which is connected to the old black & white animations in the distant past (which we visit as Timeless River) and then the Country of Musketeers in the less distant past, but there's handwavey explanations for those. Other than potentially Wonderland, this would be the only world like this.

Speaking of...

Main Evidence 3: Wonderland, Victorians, and Implications

Wonderland is keeping me up at night because of one missable interaction in KH1. If you speak to Alice while she's in the cage while you're looking for evidence, Sora and co. will introduce themselves to her and they'll have the following interaction:

Alice: Who are you? Sora: I’m Sora. Goofy: I’m Goofy, and that there’s Donald. Alice: Pleased to meet you, though I do wish it were under better circumstances. I’m sorry you got mixed up in this nonsense. Sora: Why are you on trial in the first place? Alice: I should like to know the very same thing! Apparently I was guilty from the moment I took the stand! Sora: That’s crazy! So, where are you from? Alice: Hmm, curious. I can’t quite remember. You see, I found this mysterious rabbit hole. When I tried to peek inside, I tumbled in head over heels… And I found myself here. Sora: So you’re from another world! Goofy: That’s funny. Maybe you don’t need a ship, then. Donald: I don’t get it. Alice: What do you mean “another world”?

This, if not outright confirms, heavily implies that Alice is not from Wonderland. Which... duh, that's just kinda the point of the story. But in the context of Kingdom Hearts is very important, and highlighted by Goofy: it's possible to get to other worlds without a ship. Which, again, we see later: Dark Corridors, star shards, wishing on one's heart, the Power of Waking... these are the proof in the puding, but we'll circle back to that third one because Beast also does something that makes some major implications if you don't believe in Word of God.

But why is Alice so central to this post? Because, unlike Jane, Clayton, and Wendy, she's not Edwardian. She's Victorian, and removed from the early 1900s by 44 years. Meaning (again, assuming that the above exchange is meant to imply she came from her 'real world' into Wonderland, with that 'real world' being Victorian England) that there isn't one England in the Ocean Between, but two: one Edwardian and one Victorian. Even if we say that her family's estate is simply connected to Wonderland through a rabbit hole and nothing else, that still leaves Edwardian London (and again, presumably more of England but we'll get to that) as a separate entity. And, no, Alice can't 'just be Edwardian', because of one very big thing: her dress. Alice dressed in a animated approximation of a Victorian child's dress (more of her legs are exposed, meant to allow her to run and play as she is a child and there is more of a structure to the skirt, giving it a bell jar-shape look), which would be seen as incredibly quaint in the Edwardian period (for comparison, Edwardian children's dresses had less of that structure, with the dress falling more flat against the body. This was also reflected by adults of the period, but we're focusing on children so shut up. Also I can't really draw a comparison with Wendy herself, seeing as she's in a nightgown so historical examples upon ye.)

Now, I'll admit her not knowing Wonderland is 'another world' could sink the ship... if Alice in Wonderland didn't build in an explanation: she legitimately doesn't think she's in another world, and the ending of the story has her waking up from a dream. While in Kingdom Hearts this is unlikely (as the Realm of Sleep exists, and Wonderland doesn't seem to be a Sleeping World but hey maybe KH4 will say it is and I'll firebomb Square), it's completely possible that her wish to go to a world of nonsense brought her there while she slept... or she did legitimately end up there, following a world traveler (more on them in a tangent section because I don't want to go down another rabbit hole) and was sent back to her original world after the events of Kingdom Hearts I as she also doesn't appear during the events of Days.

(I'm also sidestepping anything that happened in X or Dark Road because I don't know what happens in them that deeply, so I can't wait for that to blow a hole in my entire point here)

Tangent: Traversing the Ocean Between

Okay so these are moreso side things I wanted to point out because I made a point about the rules of world traversal making no sense and I wanted to further highlight that the World Order is, in fact, real fuckin' dumb. These are just rapid fire points tho I'm not going crazy over it.

1. Beast and the power of being a simp — Hollow Bastion has a lot of things that Break the Rules™️, but the relevant one here is that Beast survived the destruction of his world, somehow didn't get consumed by Heartless despite having a Heart full of Darkness, and just... wished real hard to get to where Belle was taken. Nomura later walked that back and said that Beast used a Corridor of Darkness, but that makes less sense because if you're not wearing the Anti-Darkness Drip™️, you get completely drained of vitality and probably become a Heartless. Either way, that seems like it shouldn't be something just anyone can do, but no one comments on it so I guess it's not overly weird.

2. Hook's Ship — I feel like we don't talk about how Hook's ship can just... sail the Ocean Between with seemingly no issue. It literally just rams Sora's ship and captures them right out of space. Again, it's not commented by anyone as an odd thing to happen, so is that just normal? If the Islands didn't get destroyed, would Sora, Riku, and Kairi be out in the Ocean Between? You evidently don't need to breathe out there, because you're on Hook's ship's deck and outside the Mysterious Tower just fine... Unless it's Spelljammer rules, actually. That could probably work, actually...

3. What does unlocking the paths do, actually? — I know it's just a gameplay mechanic to keep you more or less knowing where to go at any point in time, but in-universe it seems like you only need it if your preferred method of travel is a gummi ship or Keyblade Glider. I mean, Hell, the Guardians of Light have their own answer to corridors of darkness, as seen in Birth by Sleep and the mobile games.

4. No One Cares Your a Duck and Dog and that's also weird — No one ever points out that there's walking anthropomorphic animals with Sora. I'm willing to ignore it rarely coming up (the only instance that sticks out in my mind is Minister Frollo, who was desperately close to using a slur) that Sora has weird fashion, but I'm pretty sure Donald and Goofy would turn heads in like... a good number of the worlds we visit? Like. Are anthros a common sight? How are they getting around? Or do people just assume they're related to Moogles? What the actual fuck does your average denizen of Port Royale think of the humble Moogle? They're shopkeepers that operate through holograms and that's weird.

So we have established that the World Order is bullshit and discarded for good reason. Let's move back to my main point.

Final Evidence: Worlds are Bigger than Seen in Game

This is kinda a given and more than a little obvious, but I thought it worth highlighting. We can't land on the streets of London when we visit in KH1, we see more jungle in Deep Jungle but again, can't go that way. Twilight Town apparently has access to a beach that we straight up never see. We don't go through the Imperial City in the Land of Dragons to get to the Imperial Palace, despite it being visible from the mountains and checkpoint. Scala ad Caelum has a bunch of areas we don't get to explore, even in ReMind... you get the picture. I'm not using that to dig at the games; they're games at the end of the day, and a 1:1 recreation of a realistic setting or areas that don't have anything going on aren't fun to anyone but people like me who enjoy verisimilitude, but even I say that there's a point where it becomes completely redundant and not fun. I'll fill in the blanks myself because it's fun to me, but I don't expect a game not about simulation to do it.

I bring this up to highlight that it's impossible to say if the London we see at the Clocktower in Neverland is all there is to that world, or if it's more of England, or even the entire United Kingdom. Because the rules are so flimsily established and so quickly discarded within the games themselves, I'm left gesturing aggressively to an unsolvable mystery. While my personal headcanon is that each 'world' is roughly the size of a dwarf planet, I obviously don't have any evidence to back that up. It also falls apart because it doesn't answer how their suns work, because how do they have suns?

Hell, KH4 could introduce a world themed after Treasure Planet or even Star Wars, and then we're really fucked because they're in space. Do we make every world something like the Spelljammer Crystal Spheres, where each world has its own solar system but from an external viewpoint you only see the important location in that place? That'd probably be the cleanest solution, but it doesn't feel right.

Conclusion: There are no Rules, Put a Three Kingdoms Period China World in Your Fanfic so Sora can interact with Liu Bei or something

In review, it seems like there aren't any hard and fast rules for what can and can't be a world. Every major historical period for every culture under the sun and every story ever could be its own world, as evidenced by Alice's Victorian England being in the same universe as Wendy's Edwardian England. It also doesn't seem like there are as many hard boundaries between worlds if you know how to do it: Alice came to Wonderland by falling into a rabbit hole that connected the two, similar to Gates in something like old Forgotten Realms lore (or folklore but I've already leaned into old D&D lore I might as well go all the way), Beast either simped his way to Hollow Bastion or used a Corridor of Darkness, Hook's ship can just Do That with no given explanation. Hell, we don't even know how Cloud gets from Olympus to Hollow Bastion (presumably from wherever he ended up after fighting Sephy but I'm not even 100% if that's canon).

So, ignore what purists say, put anything as a world in your Kingdom Hearts fanfic and it'll fit if you handwave hard enough. It's the ultimate isekai, you don't even need to involve god-like beings. I myself have added a Sengoku Jidai world to my fanfic and no one's any the wiser /j

...I feel like a KH Musou game would fucking slap, though...

[territorialufo]

i give in can you tell me about that little iphone binch

YESS YES I CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THE LITTLE IPHONE BINCH !!!!!!!!! this is literally just rambling im so sorry. There's a lot of text blocks in the beginning but the end has more pics and silly stuff 

Also ii spoilers but its hard to talk abt mephone without getting into the recent stuff so whatever 

Under cut cause this got. Really long. whoops

Context/background of II/mephone 

“Inanimate Insanity” (ii) is a web animation originally released in 2011, considered the second “major” object show after BFDI. btw an object show is a genre of web series that features anthropomorphized inanimate objects competing for some kind of prize. I am NOT the right person to ask about object shows cause the only one ive ever been invested in to this extent is ii and theres SOO many other ones out there LMAO. Ok sorry i sounded like a bot for a second there JUST PROVIDING CONTEXT!! Inanimate Insanity’s structure is kind of interesting because it starts out as a silly comedy in s1 and most of s2 before descending into a really drama heavy storyline, with tension caused both by mephone’s past haunting him and conflict between the contestants themselves. Then suddenly s2 goes on a four year hiatus and animationepic (main youtube channel) launches s3 with new characters and artstyle, seemingly completely ditching the plot they had in s2??? IM NOT GONNA GET TOO INTO ALL THAT but it all works out timeline wise so its chill the tone switch was just rly funny at the time 😭😭😭 

ANYWAYYYY mephone. Mephone4. Mister phone. Four. The one and only four. MeFon! MePhone4 (parodying the IPhone4) is the de facto host of the in-universe reality show “Inanimate Insanity”!! As the host, he has speaking lines in nearly every episode which is super awesome and epic for mephone4 enjoyers (me). His initial vibe was inspired by Chris McClean from TDI, and was even voiced by Christian Potenza in the first episode before being switched to Mark Katz, who is the father of the creator of II, Adam Katz, which is also pretty cool i think. Since Mark Katz is a grown ass dude, mephone just has. The same voice for like the entire series SHDHF everyone else’s voices are changing and stuff as the creators got older but mephone just sounds like a middle aged man for all of it 😭I love it tho this isn’t a criticism!!! As the years go by it gets more and more expressive :) s1 is. rough. considering it was made by a bunch of kids, its very much a product of its time lol

Lore/character 

Ok lore time cause the thing w mephone is most of his backstory was kind of just hinted at (or implied with the existence of Apple irl). Like in s1 there was the introduction of mephone4s and 5, but otherwise, not much (as far as I can remember. I watched s1 when i was a kid so its been a while lmao). Then there was s2e8 where the contestants go to headquarters and we meet steve cobs (yes, like steve jobs), who’s his creator and dad?? Again some hints are dropped but nothing concrete about their relationship. And then BOOM. SEASON 2 EPISODE 13. “Mine Your Own Business” was my fave II ep for sooo long (idk what my fave is now tbh) cause THE MEPHONE LORE DROP??????? IT WAS CRAZY and also the ending of the episode with fan’s monologue and the soundtrack “shell of a fan” is my fave in the show ANYWAY ANYWAY so begins the remembering of the Horrors. 

He was “born” in Meeple Headquarters, and PLEASE KNOW THAT HE WAS BORN AN ADULT OH MY GOD there are some clowns who think hes literally 14 years old bc thats how old the iphone4 is USE YOUR BRAIN USE YOUR BRAIN AAAAA right so he basically knows nothing about the world, confined to headquarters until his eventual escape. Cobs and mephone have a pretty interesting dynamic, where cobs has most of the power. The way Cobs praises mephone but later shoots him down is so AUHGHGHGH. It’s an oppressive environment he's living in, only expected to do assigned tasks and shamed for any genuine interests, while having the pressure to impress his creator on his shoulders at the threat of being discarded. Mephone grows to hate and fear cobs, but at the same time, cobs is the only person whos known him since the beginning.

The way literally every problem mephone has can be traced back to his origin/how he was raised is so crazy. Like even before the s2e16 twist, it was extremely prevalent??? There are a bunch of analysis posts that explain it way better than I could but MANNNN for a show that the crew started when they were literally 13, they were able to tie things together pretty well, i think! 

It’s been pretty obvious since s2e13 that hosting Inanimate Insanity is just one big escapist fantasy for mephone, one where he is free to do as he pleases while ignoring all the trauma he sustained in “childhood”. Cause it’s implied he escaped Meeple, deleted his bad memories, and then started s1 right after. I mean, it makes sense, since outside of the cold, mechanical nature of Meeple, the only warmth he got was from his enjoyment of reality tv shows. If s1 is an amnesia mephone, and s2 is a spiraling mephone, then I’d describe s3 as “escapism but worse” mephone. It doesn’t ever get as gloomy as s2, but s3 has steady background reminders of “hey guys remember mephone is running away from all his problems right now!!” until it all comes to head in the finale. Some ppl dislike how mephone-centric the show’s gotten, but honestly idgaf more for me

I do want to say that he is very flawed, though. Esp near the beginning, he is really fucking rude and does not respect his contestants at all and frequently belittles them and puts them in mortal danger. he tends to view them and everything that happens to them through the lens of “its just part of the show!!!!”. He tends to brush off everyone’s problems, no matter how serious, even when he’s the one that caused them.

His reality show host personality is all a very big facade to cover up how he feels about the past (thus further submerging him in the fantasy of Inanimate Insanity). Like previous users have mentioned, this is likely due to the fact that he had no one to learn HOW to be empathetic/kind from besides reality television (which is known to be exaggerated for drama) and cobs (who is his abuser) But I famously do enjoy characters who are kind of dickheads, the confidence being a mask is like a tasty bonus to me.

The dichotomy between his arrogant host exterior and paranoid/anxious interior is really interesting and fun to watch. Compared to his relatively sweet/naive beginning personality, it’s wild to see just how much he’s changed since then because of everything that’s happened.  His relationships with the rest of the characters is also interesting, cause despite being their host, he isn’t very close with a lot of them. Other than maybe Bot, who I believe he feels kinship with since they're both robots who freed themselves from the expectations of others. Same with Mepad, since they’re both from Meeple. 

He’s a robot, but in an emotional/psychological sense, is basically a normal person/object (person is synonymous with object in this case). He feels like a person despite being an AI. which makes cobs a lot worse imo, he mistreats all his creations, but at least the other newer mephones are barely “feeling” at all, unlike 4.

Basically, 

Cobs: i have engineered a machine that is functionally a person

Everyone: you fucked up a perfectly good phone is what you did. Look at him. He’s got ptsd. 

Not to get too into ii16/17, but they basically recontextualized the entire series and made what we initially thought about mephone’s escapist tendencies and origins a million times worse. Bro was so tormented he subconsciously made his OCs come to life 😭😭😭all while projecting all his issues onto them??? Psychologically sound individual activities. Additionally, the way he was created is also. Terrible. Cobs basically invaded an alien planet, kidnapped an alien kid, and then presumably used its energy to create mephone4. Outer space colonization? In MY object show? yes!

Ok now im just gonna talk about random stuff i like about him  

His powers are so cool.,.,,. Esp as a foil to cobs/mephonex, who could represent destruction, he represents creation with his generation ability. Also something abt using his powers for non violent reasons when his creation was built upon violence uhh idk. And I think the screen turning green and the sound effect is very satisfying dlsjkfg. Oh and the fact that he canonically had to practice to get better at it? In the flashbacks he’s shown having trouble generating even a simple tree, and now he can make pretty much anything with minimal effort. 

Also MeLife, which allows him to bring contestants back from the dead, is an ability unique to him, which is super cool!!

He can create portals as well and this is never explained. He can just suddenly do it KDLJFGH this kind of renders Mepad’s teleportation ability useless but it's still fun. 

I like when he uses his face as an actual screen :)

Something something robot related stuff

He is not waterproof and will malfunction or even die when wet

His speaking function can be disabled by other people

Glitches while talking sometimes!! Delightful 

Something that gets overlooked often I think is the s1 finale, where mephone4S (mephone4's brother) basically killed himself to save mephone4 by downgrading his own OS. Technically, mephone isn’t even in his original body anymore, he’s inhabiting his brother’s. Fun!

this is unrelated but he got shot in the face with a gun once. there havent been any guns since unfortunately

Get yoinked idiot 

In conclusion, 

I heart him and im sad ii is gonna be ending soon thx for reading