#so sorry for that initialism. truly
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also occasionally i’ll write a line in one of my fics that i think is just so good but i don’t wanna be an insufferable prick about it and talk about my own work like i’m such hot shit lol
#sasha speaks#'piety or pity or something like that' from dvacipm comes to mind. i liked that one.#so sorry for that initialism. truly#oh oh also 'the girl's fifteen she knows what a bloodstain looks like.' from skeleton in the closet. i REALLY like that line.#i love writing a line with Implications.#also i really like a lot of my wording in starbucks soliloquy but in fairness i was trying to emulate a very different style from my own#and like. what am i supposeed to do? read moby dick and NOT write something as eloquent as possible? c'mon now
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🌟Tanooki! 🍂
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I was inspired by Noelle's recent tanooki drawings (@whenthelightisrunninglow) to redraw my Super Leaf redesign for Mario qwq.
Tanooki Mario is already one of my favorite powerup designs but I wanted to make him look more like a tanooki specifically and I am in love with the darker arms and legs. Not to mention I love the bandanas from the Statue Leaf so much that I think they should just be a staple for regular Super Leaf outfits qwq.
#smb#mario#tanooki mario#mimi doodles#me when rosalina is the only outfit that references the fact that tanooki's have darker fur on their arms and legs wth#THAT is truly why Rosalina's is so visually appealing to me i think#this drawing is so brown dsghnkjfdnhdgjh#debating making this a short series of powerup redraws we'll see#NOELLE I AM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO PROPERLY TAG YOU INITIALLY SDIGJKFDH
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Opens my eyes again. I can’t believe there r people that genuinely hate rook hunt for voting for rsa specifically. I mean ppl can and will interpret media differently and have their own thoughts and opinions so I can’t be fussy and say they’re wrong for thinking differently than i do. But I can say that I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!!!! And I don’t want to. I support rook hunt rights and wrongs but tbh I do not think that one was a wrong!!!!! He voted with his heart!!!!! Leave my beloved weirdo son alone…………..
#book 5 I love u…………..#and listen I’m not a hater of jokes#like the rook/vil divorce memes post book 5 could be p funny lol#HOWEVER!!! however. I feel. in my humble opinion#perhaps some ppl maybe misread the vibe a little#idk may e I’m remembering shit wrong lol but like#ya there was that initial shock and betrayal moment from vil bdbfbfntbgg#wasn’t it right after like ‘vil I’m sorry I caused u pain plz know it’s not bias voting I-‘#and vil was like ‘HUSH I’m well aware you wouldn’t be like that’ or something#I hope I’m not grossly off base LOL but like rook and vil man they know each other so well#rook still surprises vil clearly but vil was still like#ya I know rook and I know that if he voted this way it’s bc he truly believed it#rook is so earnest and emotional and passionate about his feelings FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i love u rook they could never make me hate u rook#like normally I don’t see anything wild but sometimes I catch notes in a passing post#and I’m like dear god why are ppl so intense about character hatred jddjcnfngngngh#personally I love every character in the game. they’re FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!#looks at the clock oh god i got lost in the sauce talking about rook I need to be asleep#sobs wails cries I love my weird freak of a son !!!
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i'd rather be friendless than to constantly have my boundaries disrespected
#i am so frustrated and annoyed rn#at the beginning of this year my ex best friend reached out to me and i cautiously let her back into my life#things were going great but now she turned a harmless topic into a full blown discussion even though i told her multiple times that i no..#.. longer want to discuss this matter but she kept going & then accusing me of continuing the discussion as well#and tbh i really should've stopped engaging with her messages much sooner but it's so annoying when someone sends you lots of messages with#their opinion although i mentioned several times that i want to drop the topic & then i'm just expected to shut up lol#she didn't respect my wish to move and made a huge fuss about nothing#i stopped replying to her since yesterday bc i really had enough & i should've just left her on read much sooner#but her messages were truly annoying me#her last message now says that we often have different opinions & she thinks she's more optimistic than me & that makes it hard for her to..#talk to me..... i was so dumbfounded when i read that this morning#our initial conversation was about whether a song is more pop or rnb....... & she twisted that into me being negative lmao#she was so obsessed with being right that she couldn't drop the topic even though i told her how exhausting the convo was for me#and like it's such an irrelevant topic... imagine being that obsessed with always being right 😭#idc anymore i'd rather be a negative bitch than someone who disrespects others' boundaries <3#i thought she changed for the better but she's so self-righteous opinionated & stubborn it's awful#i calmly told her that her behavior is bothering me & we easily could've just moved on but she kept going on and on#and she herself admitted that it's one of her flaws that she always has to be right & she's being petty & yet she didn't stop 🤡#even writing all this down feels so silly to me bc the initial topic was sooooo trivial#am i supposed to feel sorry for thinking a song was rnb rather than pop???? like go touch some grass please#she even sent me a screenshot of the wikipedia page of the song to prove that it's rnb & it literally said synth pop & rnb lol#but i wasn't even mad about that her not respecting my wish to drop the topic & move on even though i said it multiple times really pissed..#me off though.... like girl just let it go it's not that deep!!!#but apparently i'm negative & pessimistic for having a different opinion than her 🤷🏼♀️#like imagine starting a fight over smth SO IRRELEVANT but i'm the negative one sure lmao#okay i just needed to get this off my chest bc i don't have anyone to talk to about this & it's just ridiculous to me#☁️
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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I'm so exhausted I don't really know where or how to begin my one-day weekend, have spent the day just kind of collapsed into executive dysfunctional confusion when what I WANT to do is post on tumblr about gay tv
#i wanna talk about 23.5 because the latest ep made me feral but for like side couples#i LOVE the main couples but nidabambam and mawinton make me insane#i was rooting for aro ton but now i want mawinton so badly#there's something that happens with the ships that aren't the advertised pairs so whether they happen or not isn't prescribed#i know mawintinh is what everyone on tumblr wants and it's not like i would be unhappy with that ok#but mawinton both obsessed with other people and relationships and oblivious to how they already have a boyf -#thats my shit.#tinh just seems so uninterested in mawin rn too whereas ton is laser focused#and to put a character like charoen into a yuri like come on how many of us who DIDN'T 'just know' we were not into boys#picked a dude to crush on from afar and then went EUGH STOP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING if/when he actually spoke to us#that is way too familiar a narrative to put in a GL and then resolve with her getting with a guy i'm sorry#but her and ton becoming besties who love shipping OTHER people together. hell yes lmfao#that's what i'm talking about! two people who think they like each other but actually just enjoy doing fandom together <3#buddhism fandom and friend fiction fandom#anyway i can't believe i spent that many words on them but i'm truly invested now. FLOWERS AND KNEE TOUCHES FOR MAWINTON#and i don't even know where to begin with nidabambam??????????????????#i thought this would be us projecting headcanon onto some women who had some nice scenes together#i didn't dare hope for ?????? lucky/unlucky protective/clumsy glorious t4t grown woman love story#what the heck i felt like my brain was unravelling as i watched them#they really stumbled(/carefully protected the other from stumbling) their way into a STARGAZE DATE#what the heck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i think something magical just happens when you hit a certain point in a story and you've LET the main couples grow and evolve#so they're more or less together and it's hilarious and adorable (oh my god ongsa and aylin taking initiative oh my god)#but they also leave narrative space for MORE LOVE STORIES IN THE BEAUTIFUL ENSEMBLE#and that's where i start to lose control apparently#23.5#23point5#dear diary
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also in general i am extremely analytical of myself lately because i have been such! a! huge! asshole! for such a large part of my life. and i still have people on some social media platforms from that era, or their phone numbers in my phone, and it all feels like ghosts of my cuntiness to serve as a reminder of bridges i have lit on fire and watched burn behind me.
and in order to not be a huge obnoxious asshole filled with anger issues i have done a lot of self confronting and unpacking things lately & i do notice (thank god) that in the past years i have really mellowed out and found my place in the world and my goals, but i still have so much work to do as a person to actually become a decent one. i am just one big ol' work in progress.
#text#sorry i am rambling now#also the main thing i struggle with right now is that i am just.... a bad friend when it comes to initiating contact?#i love so many people but i appreciate being alone so much that i never ask people to hang out#and i am also trying to get better at that but i am truly Awful at it#and just want to be less cunty#and i want to apply the rational that i can apply to others more to myself#i am so good at giving advice but so bad at listening to my own
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i am so angry about being alive it's not even funny anymore
#what's the point in any of this 😐 i will literally never be okay. i never have been okay. I've had debilitating anxiety since birth#it's not going to go away it's literally getting worse as i grow older and so is my depression#hate to hear ppl say it gets better when I've been gradually getting worse since i was like 13#which is extremely funny. bc when i was 13 is when most of my suicide attempts took place#at least i was active and took initiative back then 🙄 i only became too tired to keep trying since#i don't want to kill myself i just want to be dead. I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm always feeling awful. nothing is worth it#even when i feel good it's like 1% of how bad i always feel. and it's not like there's much good to go around anyway#i don't understand now people don't constantly feel like losing their mind over how shit life is truly#there's this line in nlh actually. where yozo asks how come ppl don't constantly want to kill themselves. and yeah felt#i can barely distract myself anymore bc nothing is stimulating enough esp when I'm alone#and i don't. care enough. about anything. to want to stay alive. like i said nothing is worth it. idc if ppl would be sad sorry#i don't even know what I'm saying anymore man. idk why I'm doing so bad rn. it's been a tough week ig.#nothing actually happened but everything is just. less than average. a little worse than neutral. just enough to be grating#i don't want to kill myself but i wish i could#wish i wasn't a coward wish i didn't fear permanent damage or hospitals or even just pain i have no control over#nothing happened but everything sucks. existence is disappointing. i would like to stop#vent#suicide //#negative //#ask to tag#i genuinely don't know what to do now. i can't distract myself. i probably shouldn't fall asleep when I'm like that#(at least if i don't want to have nightmares like i did all week and for tomorrow to be even worse)#tbh i doubt i even COULD fall asleep like that lol my brain's working too fast as usual 😐#sigh. sorry for the vent. trying to clear some of the dirt off my psyche
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A 20th Century Marxist Is Reincarnated Into The Noble Villainess Within A Fantasy Romance Bourgeousie?
#i’m sorry i’m so done with the casual classism and racism in korean manwha#manhwa*#i want someone who gets truly angry at the upper class to be inserted into the setting#and try at first to do what every other mc does and realises her efforts and futile in the grand scheme#and she can’t fix the system#so instead she just tears it down completely#the romance and fantasy romance manhwa tropes try to distract her from it#but she completely forsakes any romance/bond she’s built with the meme era of the upper class that are painted by the authors as good guys#member*** not meme era what the hell#in order to initiate a class war where she is the ‘class traitor’ against the bourgeoisie she was born in#isekai#anyways
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aughghghghh... tiny detail i just noticed on rewatching SDT again... Meghan & Allison's matching yin/yang necklaces...
#feeling insane again sorry. i wasn't rewatching the WHOLE movie but. scenes while making gifs. anyways.#meghan plays such a small role in the movie like out of the named characters but she compels me so. her dead girl charm#like truly she just wanted to vibe. hosting her bestie's birthday party. offering up a page from the bible to roll a joint. made her own#sound effects while playing around with the sword & called it 'fucking rad'. she was JUST trying to have a good time#but also something something zach & josh's friendship deteriorating because of actions that while accidental still were Of Their Own Doing#but allison & meghan's friendship—and meghan's life—being casualties. collateral damage in that fallout. something something the way that#guilt and grief can extend so far beyond the people initially impacted if left unchecked/improperly addressed#grandpa max is god? i go to church now
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more kate and jessica jones content pls
#arguably a very strong and important dynamic for kate that was cut short :l#kate learning how to become a better pi from her but also#taking initiative and having good ideas and thinking on her feet#they truly are such a duo like i'm sorry i love them so bad#i need more of them.........#here tomorrow!!! i lied when i said kate resurgence tn.. oops.. sawry#gimme crossovers tho i beg.. xmen.. spiderverse.. RN!
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@reignthem liked for a problem!
"ms. arias." no small amount of intention is put into the offer of her hand, the grip firm while her expression above remains open, inviting. practice is no longer required, the combination is not second nature, but first. she's comfortable. the shake does not last any longer than necessary, and when she withdraws, claire gestures toward the seat nearest to her, a questioning brow raised.
"thank you, for making the time. may i?"
#reignthem#i truly do not go here i have been flying by the seat of my pants w everything to do w supergirl i am so sorry#claire was ceo of a company called clean water initiative at one point that does like outreach in the us and abroad#access to clean water n that sort of thing#i figure we might could do some pre presidency businessy shenanigans#IDK IM MAKING SHIT UP :)#thank you for liking hehe. i am excited
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About half the reblogs are about 73 yards and I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't really like 73 yards that much..
No hate to the episode I thought it was cool as an idea but wasn't really well done in my opinion
Firm believer that doctor who should get fucked up and unnerving on the regular
#absolutely not calling it bad. it has some killer moments and i absolutely loved the entire welsh pub segment#but as a whole although unnerving it kinda fell flat#it felt vague for the sake of being vague and not for any actual reason#i dont mind being left in the dark as too what truly happened but giving literally ZERO idea of what the fuck that was kinda sucked#like the doctor just going “idk fukin fairy circle” was a really lame ass ending#i liked ruby taking initiative and really showing off what she can do tho#ngl i know the whole jab in the pub was that everyone thinks wales is all witchy but i kinda wish it was actually some curse#idk i thought that would be sick#also the whole 73 yards thing relating to the tardis' perception filter was weird. like was it the tardis or was it not the fuckin tardis???#okay midway through writing this it clicked the plot is likely the tardis activating some emergency paradox thing and looping ruby#i think atleast? but then what about the fairy circle? where the fuck did the doctor go????#again i like a confusing story and i love the horror of the unknown but when im never given ANY answer at all in the end i feel annoyed#idk fucked with the vibe and set up but the plot lost me#if you think its amazing all the power too you because it is a pretty sick concept#but when i talk about getting weird and fucked up i mean 73 yards but borderline straight up horror film#also about that whole thing of people being scared of ruby what the fuck???#i originally thought it was going to relate to the one who waits but it never pays off at all???#theres so many ideas happening that i just feel dont blend well and it makes me confused and nauseous#maybe im just stupid but that's my feelings on it#sorry for ranting so long. again ZERO hate to this episode i just wish it was more coherent in its themes and storytelling#doctor who#dw
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comes out all beaten up and coughing up blood : hi guys im just done with my 2 hours paperwork moment (living in france experience)
#doing a dossier to send to a court of justice ONLY TO CHANGE THE F TO AN M ON MY BIRTH CERTIFICATE+REST OF MY PAPERWORK#IS INSAAAAAAAANE#because i'm miss adam rn at the eyes of the law and it does slay and i wish i could be a dragqueen cos i could be miss m'adam#anyway#and im lucky to be french and have the nationality because i haven't yet been facing too much paperwork#the people i help out at work who doesn't have the nationality have it so much worse here#i was going to say paperwork wise but like. in life in general. france is hell please someone help us#why do we love paperwork soooo mcuh#almost every people from any country i talk with goes “you guys sure love papers huh” while going through all the papers they accumulated#when they try to find one of the many things the administrations keep asking over and over again#im sorry im going insane helping out ppl with their paperwork so when i have to do some for me at home im. im just truly over it#pro to do this social work : i know some stuff and how to do them#con : i know perfectly well that the gov websites NEEDED. MANDATORY. ONLY WAY TO DO ANYTHING. half of it is shite/doesn't work.#im soooo done with this. it truly doesn't help us make ppl gain confidence in working with a computer#cos' my job initially is that ppl will gain autonomy with digital tools so that they can do their paperwork on their pwn#*own. BUT NOTHING WORKS. SO OBVIOUSLY IT STAYS SCARY AND UNINTELLIGIBLE FOR THEM. ANWYAY SORRY#I LOVE MY JOB I TRULY DO. I WISH THINGS WEREN'T SHIT AND THAT I COULD HELP OUT PPL MORE THAT'S ALL.
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Starfire teen titans my best friend Starfire id burn alive for you
#the klock keeps ticking#cant remember shit about the show like the story arcs and shit#cuz i watched this show when i was like 16 and had trouble paying attention to anything at all#but decided i was gonna watch a few episodes for shits and i watched the apprentice episodes#hnnnghh it fucking ruled this show is awesome#like i truly cannot remember anything about slade like what his deal was what his motives are but god hes so good in this episode#hes creepy as fuck and like its just really satisfying how competent he is for a kids show villain#like he planted the evil torture devices in the gangs blood and he doesnt hesitate at all to push that button#i was expecting it to be like robin simply never fucked up bad enough to trigger the torture shit#or maybe like its revealed that it was all a lie to mess with him#but nah straight up robin hesitates to fucking shoot his friends and slade just instantly pushes the button and makes robin watch#AND THEN BLAMES HIM SAYING HOW THIS ALL HAPPENED CUZ HE DIDNT OBEY#and then the fucking part where slade is like ‘i was monitoring your endorphin levels i could tell you got excited when you stole’#DUUUUUDE#thats everything to me#and i like how the episode ends its very nice but initially i thought the blood torture devices were like bombs and that pushing the button#would mean instant death for the gang and like. okay imagine what i was cooking here#a controller for that would obviously have some sorta fail safe measure where if its destroyed the bombs go off so like you cant destroy it#and lets just say they didnt have a plot convenient way to remove the torture devices from the blood cuz that sounds kinda impossible tbh#what if like. the conclusion was robin obtains the controller so that he can take away slades power and leave him#but now hes just got the controller and he has this constant anxiety like what if he doesnt watch it and it goes off#what if the controller gets stolen or worse like. robin is in this position where he holds his friends lives in his hands#just like slade did. an evil reminder that he really is no different from slade what if he cant stop himself from pushing the button?#the episode ends with everything back to normal but then we see robin alone unsure with the controller locked away#and its just this looming presence for like the rest of the show or at least until slade is defeated and like robin has severe anxiety#over it he has nightmares of himself pushing the button he constantly double checks to make sure the controller is still there untouched#IMAGINE IMAGINE GUYS godddd i like need this fic now#sorry i got so caught up gushing about robin and this episode that i didnt even mention starfire aldkks i thinks shes adorable and autistic#and i would do anything for her and she and Robin are so cute i love them so much
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If your vision for the deradicalization of right-wing men begins and ends with "other men telling them that that's gross and to stop it" then I'm sorry, you do not understand how masculinity works.
"Men who hold patriarchal status" and "men who are feminists" are two groups who overlap less than you want them to. I'm sorry. That's not solely because men are so happy with patriarchal status that they don't want to risk it by policing misogyny/queerphobia/racism, It's because being misogynistic, queerphobic, and racist, end expressing other forms of toxic masculinity(and often abusively so) are part of how people establish and maintain patriarchal status. The men who have the ability to stop this via nothing but peer pressure are the very people who are doing it. That's by design. And engaging in feminist intervention is, in and of itself, usually the abrupt end of that status and its associated power to persuade misogynistic men.
Like, I have worked in blue collar jobs as a notably queer person. It was pretty much a constant deluge of verbal abuse. In my experience, most blue collar work environments are exploitative, abusive, and bigoted, and very gleefully so. On the occasions I have spoken up about someone saying something that was super fucking out of line (asking me which of the girls walking by was hottest. We were installing a portable classroom at a middle school), believe it or not, they completely failed to be shamed! Because nobody else on the crew gave a fuck. *I* was the weird one. They ghosted me. A full blown company ghosted me. I suddenly didn't have a job anymore because they just straightforwardly stopped telling me where the next job site was.
Like, this doesn't mean that it's your job to do it, but this vision you have of these big groups of men where everyone is on the fence and there is precisely one shit stirrer who can be shut down by a brave feminist man who can single handedly set the example for all these other guys...you are high. You are describing an "everybody clapped" level absurd scenario. Most of these truly virulent misogynistic guys either have zero friends, because, you know, our society is atomized to fuck, or they are in a group where the feminist guy is actually the weirdo who can be shut down and ostracized much, much easier than the misogynists, because there is no such thing as a man misogynists respect who stands up for women.
You might be saying "well, we're talking about longstanding personal relationships, actually. Like, they need to have to want to spend time with you and then, as a side effect, you can mind control them out of being a threat to us."
Problem with that being:
1: Many feminist men also have no friends, see the atomized society above.
2: Feminist men already stopped hanging out with men who make rape jokes because why the fuck would we want to spend time with them.
3: That isn't just because we respect women so hard. We are in many cases talking about men who are also deeply queerphobic, heirarchical, violent and abusive to other men. What initially drew me to feminism and women was a lack of heirarchical squabbling and constant bullying, and the ability to be openly queer. A lot of men who came to feminism did so because they knew that the patriarchy was not a place they would find success or acceptance. These are not the men who are gonna be able to change right wing minds.
4. Men do not view themselves as a monolith. There is no universal brotherhood of men. The actual meaning of the term "Fragile masculinity" is that men are constantly expected to prove that they are deserving of the status of being a member of their own gender. There are large swathes of men--including most of the men who you'd look to as examples of good, feminist men who you want to undertake this project--who are considered failed men, sissies, f****ts, soyboys, ect. They are. Not. Going. To. Convince. These. Men. Of. Jack. Shit. Much less successfully *shame* them. Jesus.
I know all of this sucks. I know it would be cool to be able to just point at a group and have them be responsible for the work. But nah. It's gonna have to be a societal project, one that will probably outlast all of us. Sorry. The thing you want these men to do is, absolutely, the morally correct thing to do. But presuming that it would be effective is, and once again I am so sorry about this, just ignorance of how these social groups function.
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