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#so sorry for how much i've rambled & that this is a mess!
sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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butterflieswhisper · 5 months
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hhelp wait this is so funny. didnt you follow me forever ago after a scott themed october song analysis . sorry if you dont remember that and this ask doesnt make sense but this is still funny to me
hi!!!! yeah. it was the cherri crane lives art i think and also where you made your flower husbands tag! I have never really interacted with fh outside of you (and like, seeing pretty fanart) but i am nonetheless deeply invested in your interpretation specifically!!! I honestly haven't watched jimmy outside of rats and the beginning of empires2 either i genuinely have no clue what they get up to you just seem to have a lot of fun with it
#asks#<-omg i can make that a tag now#i also am a year behind on the life series. i think the most recent one i've seen is double#like from any pov. i am a year behind. however that goes for everything on youtube#my poor watch later playlist hit the 5000 video limit forever ago and so did the second one i made to replace it. i am on my third#but seriously i don't know what goes on in fh canon but i like their blue/yellow thing they have going on. idk if that's like? intentional?#but like scott blue and canary yellow are really pretty colors together#and they are also SO close to being complimentary colors and yet. they aren't. just a little bit off#they don't quite fit quite how they should. i made that up on the spot i mostly think yellow and blue are nice colors#i think my biggest exposure to scott before you was literally the deal with destiny song in empires1#and i don't even think i acknowledged him as like a real guy ykwim.#like oh yeah. scott smajor. he's like. in that song lizzie made or something. he can sing alright i guess (plays it on loop)(plays it on lo#whisp whispers#seeing u post about Discourse(tm) is always really funny to me because i didn't realize for a while that u did not have like#the 'normal' interpretation? like i didn't realize you had a different view than other people#i was like oh yeah the relationship held in the death games is toxic. that makes sense yeah and is not surprising#and then suddenly there would be a post where you mention discourse and i went. Ohhhhh wait they're supposed to be HAPPY!!!#but i feel like this is infinitely more enjoyable i love Flawed Characters#and especially now after watching his rats. i get it. i get it i get it i see what you are saying#he doesn't interact much with jimmy hes mostly with owen and. i mean#'i've never heard someone apologize so much while putting the blame on the other person'???? i see exactly what you mean#r!scott accidentally hurting r!owen and then apologizing profusely while insisting it's because owen stood in his way. and then immediately#isolating himself in a room for like 20 minutes and refusing to interact with anyone feels like. idk#it reminds me of ur rambles and i understand them more now i think. kind of#to be clear by 'with' i mean like. in proximity of. those rats are AROMANTIC!!!!! (to me)#i'm so sorry these tags are a mess. but alas#i also think it's really funny to follow Flower Husbands guy and know nothing abt them. invested by proxy. whenever i hear abt scott giving#jimmy a flower i get excited not because like i know what's going on but because omg! that's like that thing bree talks about sometimes!!#i hope that like. any of this makes sense shdbfjk
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luvaera · 1 month
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hi friends ( yes, if you’re reading this, we are friends now ) !! i’m nervous yet suuuuuper excited to be here ! it’s been so long since i’ve been here on tumblr, so do forgive me for any mistakes. oh — i’m ree ( she/they ), by the way !! beating life levels 21 ‘n up & find me casually swimming over here in the east coast ( i would drown, i can’t swim … but it’s raining as i’m typing this so i had to ).
below the cut are some quick tidbits about my pretty, in her own right, it girl sour patch kid — chloé !! ♡
quick links: dossier & kprofile & plots & pinterest ! ( everything is a wip, you'll know more about her below the cut, really )
⸺ welcome to infinite entertainment ! it's KIM AERA ( CHLOÉ ), who is the MAIN DANCER of BRAVEHEART. i’ve heard whispers that the TWENTY-FIVE year old is pretty ECCENTRIC but lowkey UNPREDICTABLE. also, doesn’t she remind you of HUH YUNJIN ?
people either love or hate her — there often isn’t an in-between. well, unless they’re the few who are so envious that they want to be her. aera assumes that comes with being a popular idol, right ?
originally born with a silver spoon in gangnam, south korea ( cheongdam-dong district, to be exact ) to a family of old money chaebols. the middle child.
with parents that were too focused on themselves and their careers ( mother climbing the ladder in the entertainment world and later becoming a cj enm director and shareholder && father becoming the executive director of asan medical center / hospital ), aera was pawned off, akin to the same fashion as her older brother, at the age of two to be raised by her dotty, outgoing uncle in manhattan.
a child that struggled with healthily expressing her emotions, yet had an abundance of energy — so, after multiple failed methods, aera was put into dance lessons. that was how aera learned to release her emotions instead of letting them accumulate. by now, she has learned to use her words. there are times when she struggles !
found her place with contemporary and hip-hop dance. became inspired by popular pop artists such as britney spears, lady gaga, and beyoncé ( to name a few ), as well as early kpop idols such as lee hyori and boa. it was boa that inspired her the most to pursue wanting to be more than a dancer in a dance group after school.
moving back to korea years later felt jarring, but with the "support" of her parents ( enrolling her in more dance lessons, along with vocal lessons ) when they felt settled enough to parent their children, aera once again found her footing.
it is rumored that her parents sponsored her to eventually debut in braveheart, taking the spot of another deserving trainee. neither she nor the label has ever addressed the circulating rumor, causing netizens to form their own opinions.
known for giving people whiplash with her personality and behavior. one minute she's lively, bubbly, full of herself and the next she's speaking without a filter, being rebellious, or randomly getting up to something she shouldn’t be doing. a sour candy.
silently struggles with the insecurity that she doesn't live up to the same level as the other members, but fake it until you make it ... right ?
will say that she's definitely got an ego that started in her high school years and escalated as fame hit the group. which can have her unintentionally coming off as pretentious.
really wants to get a pet of her own, but settles for the tamagotchi on her phone, that she proudly talks about in lives.
doesn’t mind going by aera or chloé !! whichever the person prefers.
a big reader ! leans towards romance, fantasy, thriller, occasional horror. loves webtoons and manga, but doesn't read them as frequently like her books. always has her ipad with her for reading ( and occasional games ).
a fan of anime and movies. enjoys her fair share of dramas too. sometimes has her wanting to try a hand at acting.
if she can't sleep, aera is probably in the practice room learning choreography for other idols or making up her own.
has a soft spot for memories. never far without her camera to capture the moment. or using her phone. shares some moments on her second instagram account.
random aesthetics: late night adventures, early mornings. imposter syndrome. luxury brands. unread text messages. a spring baby with a winter loving heart. vibey facetime calls, phone calls that are hours long. black lace, freshly manicured nails. leaving before the other wakes up. leaving little notes around to make others smile. never taking no for an answer. highlighted passages in a book. dreaming of something bigger and making it happen. the smell of dark cherries, vanilla, and roses. headphones always over ears with music or podcasts playing. sipping lattes. bringing a camera everywhere you go. talking too much, yet not enough. faint strums of a guitar. the wrong key pressed on a piano out of frustration. shoes squeaking against hardwood flooring, mirrored reflection looking back. a sweet disaster. going missing when you take your eyes off her. penned lyrics but never shown. words from privileged lipgloss coated lips. sentimental photo albums. tear stained pillows. might be a sinner might be a saint.
possible connections: best friends. rivals / someone she has beef with. frienemies. ride or die. exes. secret friends. secret lovers / fwb / situationship. platonic soulmate. squad / friend group. summer romance. childhood friends. former best friends. dance partner. role model. drinking or late night adventure buddies. mutual crushes. on and off again something. you know what ? just give me anything and everything ! i want it all !!
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spaceratprodigy · 5 months
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was thinking about somethin somethin nicky "breaking up" with iris while slow dancing with her
#extra salt in the wound if it's the night ellie and trav surprise them with a makeshift date night#breaking up in quotations bc at this point they wouldn't really be established but It Would Be Obvious ya'know#idk I've been messing around with parts of iris's story again for funsies and wanted some change of scenery#so playing around with ideas#such as nick even if he does have real feelings for her beyond not necessarily wanting their partnership to end#he's incredibly aware he is never capable of being the partner she needs in the ways she'd really want#he doesn't doubt how much she loves him. he knows she does#he also knows how quickly and easily she would sacrifice herself desperately hoping that love would last#and he doesn't want to see her unhappy clinging to something. to him. when she deserves more. someone who can give her the life she wants#thinking about him. her in his arms. the shotgun blast to the heart. saying the first I love you while pushing her away at the same time#also really really really have been thinking up the chain of events that would lead up to her dropping everything and going back on the road#alone again for the first time in a long while#needed a catalyst for her just kinda ✨disappearing✨ for a long while and no one not even deeks can find her#travis trying desperately to contact her at her home base. but she's not there to answer the radio#and he starts trying to talk to her through dcr because he knows she's listening#his lil stumbly voice telling her how sorry he is for what happened. that he wants her to come home. that he's worried. that he misses her#rambling#miss ma'am iris is that you
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multishipper-baby · 6 months
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Lately I've been ruminating about my Eak headcanons some more and I'm trying to like... Manage the level of angst I want to work with.
#because I've been thinking some more about that one line he has. about losing two people#and what that could possibly mean for him#if we consider that the other person he's referring to is cami then that probably means she's in as much danger as towntrap#which is interesting considering the fact that eak doesn't seem all that worried about himself#does he think owynn couldn't or wouldn't hurt him but would hurt the other two?#or does he put his own safety below the safety of his friends? because that's some spicy characterization#however the fact that towntrap is confused and generally doesn't seem to understand how dangerous owynn is#leads me to believe that towntrap is in fact not fully aware of the gravity of the situation#is it just because he's stupid or did eak not inform him? is that why he cut himself off?#lots of potential theorization about just how much eak knows in comparison to everyone else- about the plan and about owynn#but also. if cami is not the other person he lost and he's referring another matter that happened before#that opens a HUGE number of possibilities to explore#I remember when I first entered the fandom I made a whole plot up about eak having an older brother that worked for owynn's boss#so that brother gave him some crumbs of insider information which is how he knows more than the others#except at some point his brother fully cut contact with him and his whole family so eak is like#kind of freaked out to find out later that cami is ropped into that sort of thing too#and trying to untangle this whole mess without ending up dead#I don't remember right now why I abandoned the idea of giving him an older brother but I might being it back#anyway. sorry for the 1AM incoherent eak ramble#fnafhs
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strangefable · 2 years
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Today I accomplished some important life things. Feeling exhausted but proud of myself. Recovery is a long road, but for today, at least, I feel like I'm finally making real progress.
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astrxealis · 2 years
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sometimes i think of scenarios in my head with my ocs and then sometimes for happy brain i kinda crossover them with my favorite medias atm and also insert myself in bcs i like being self-indulgent and yeah my brain is so fucked up that i just keep repeating the same first bits and can't get far in thinking and i end up just having my s/i ramble my thoughts and it's hard to explain but yeah but anyways it's interesting thinking about who or what my ocs would like in video games or colors or whatever because all my ocs seem to reflect a certain part of me and i can get into the psychology of that but also its hard to explain my thoughts but also anyways yeah i find it interesting thinking about who my ocs would kin
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#feel free to just ignore me oopsies i am just rambling but yeah i love my ocs so much#sorry besties you are all subject once more to my brainrots and rambles and random thoughts now that i am on tumblr rn#my brain is very interesting to me and the way i think but also i can't properly think in such a way and i find it really hard to explain#and i'm such a mess but also man i don't know and i'm going off-track and god i love vgm so much and i don't want to do homework#but anyways back to the goddamn point !!! so my oc merle. i have little crossover thoughts in my head right and i realize#he's similar with akira and then it makes sense as to why i like characters like akira and it's a little woa fr bcs#the way i imagine merle is really similar to akira actually but with a more purple color scheme (but still dark) and he doesn't wear#glasses (at least. wait. actually. i don't really know anymore) GOD my mind never stops but yeah uhm yeah#i think humans are so unbelievably interesting and it's all just so fascinating and and and#also i've awakened to the fact i really like sharks i think they're very cute! i still prefer dolphins though#people who hurt animals make me really angry and sad... i think about it and already want to cry#i have never had a pet but my grandparents had lots and it's funny how memory works. i forgot they once had a pet turtle#until something in a school group project involved my group involving a pet turtle in our storyline for something#and then i remember that past. my past. once again. and clearly even! and... yeah#but yeah... i know i will never abandon my pet if ever i do get a pet. or pets. i would never do that and i really know this is a fact with#all my heart but what's stopping me from getting a pet is that i need to take better care of myself first and learn how to take care of#pets! i think where i live there's actually an opportunity for me to do so. i'll try to see more about that. and hmm... this is a really#busy year for school. and then the next. and then tbh everything onwards from 2023 so... i don't want to put time to something#i'm not even sure if i can really make time for. but. i think i really do want a pet! a dog esp. but also a cat. but a dog esp#bcs i've always wanted one !! i know when it comes to something i really want i am very dedicated and passionate#like how i already calculated xiv expenses months before actually got the game? and planned how me and lune would do things too#and then because i want to handle money better and take note of all that i yeah and yeah and yeah im tired of typing now BYE#will now disappear again after rambling quite a lot ^__^ maybe? maybe not? who knows!#my thoughts are so. whack. wack? idk. but uhm yeah it went from ocs to sharks to pets to money and idk huh#man w some things i'm really shy about being perceived or asked about. like my ocs. egbhebgjhbjehs ;;;;;#and people being nice to me T__T sorry i rlly appreciate it but i can't really comprehend it and my coping mechanism is avoidance
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huexuri · 4 months
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!! keep talking ⋆ — k.th
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NSFW, MDNI!!!
summary: smut w little plot, taehyun likes ur voice like a bit too much
warnings: fem!reader, switch!reader, switch!tyun, lots of dirty talk, pillow humping, masturbating, video call mutual masturbating
wc: 1.9k
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taehyun misses your voice. a lot.
the both of you used to live in the same apartment to accommodate transportation to your designated campuses. until, taehyun had found a more convenient place to stay for a while before he would come back to live with you.
it was supposed to be just a few months, but those few months felt like years to taehyun. he missed the way you would come home and talk to him about things that happened that day, ramble to him about useless things. he never really paid attention to your silly stories; he only ever really enjoyed listening to the tone of your voice, the way the words roll off your tongue like butter. it's like music to his ears, the way your voice sounds like silk to him. he'd listen to you ramble on forever if he could.
especially when you sing your favorite songs over and over again, bustling around in the kitchen for any snacks, taehyun always thought of you as a smart girl with a pretty face and the voice of an angel.
he never expected he'd miss your voice so much.
so much so, he'd simply grow hard listening to your voicemails — feeling as if he's deprived of your voice, he's replaying them over and over again, wishing it was whatever you said whispered in his ear, even better if that voice of yours is put to use, moaning in his ear and calling out his name as you grind down on him; making sure all that rings in his puny head for the rest of his life are your moans.
my god, your voice. it's dizzying to him, hypnotizing even. he doesn't know what it is in your voice that he loves so much. like some type of drug. he loves everything about you as his best friend — but your voice,, it's everything to him.
so, imagine the guilt that washes over him when you ask if you could video call with him and play games. he's going to hear your voice for the first time in forever. shouldn't he be ecstatic?
no, because he knows he's going to fucking bust the moment you start to speak.
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“taehyun? why isn't your camera on?” you spoke through the phone, half your face in frame.
“no, nothing. if i turn on my camera it'll be very laggy.” taehyun chuckled, a tinge of fluster behind his words.
“okay then! you should join me now, i'm already in game. i sent you the code earlier.” you said before putting your phone down so your camera faces the ceiling.
“o-okay.”
you guys played for a few rounds before talking again, and taehyun doesn't know how he survived listening to you yap for the entire time the both of you were playing. not in a bad way, but in a way where he's surprised and relieved he didn't make a mess of his shorts.
"anyways, finals are killing me. i feel like i've been living in the library," you complained like you usually would.
"ugh, tell me about it!” taehyun scoffed as he waited for you to continue the conversation.
"organic chem is so hard. it's like a bunch of nonsense i'm looking at.” you continued.
"at least you're not doing what i'm doing. it's like a different language. i keep questioning my life choices every time i open the textbook," taehyun said, his voice slightly shaky, but you thought nothing of it.
you nod at the camera. “uh huh, i get you. these days i think i've been okay though? i hung out with sumin and yeeun at karaoke recently. you know, we sang till our throats were hoarse. and also—”
your words go in one of taehyun's ears and come out the other. no, to him that's not important, not as important as the sound of you talking. all he can think of is how he's filled with guilt as he slips a fist beneath his boxers, grabbing onto his already leaking erection and jerking off… to your voice.
i'm really sorry, the thought rings in his head over and over again as his cock springs out of his boxers the more he pulls his waistband down to his thighs, leaning back against his gaming chair.
the tip of his cock glossy and starting to become a pinkish hue, he pleasures himself, free hand clutching his headphones to listen to your voice clearer, increasing the volume of the call.
he bites his lips as he closes his eyes as he starts to near his high.
“—she literally bumped into me and didn't say anything! she looked at me up and down with a dirty look, like i swear i would've—” you go silent. “taehyun?” you suddenly ask.
taehyun jolts from his seat, letting go of his cock as he readjusts his position.
“y-yeah? what?” he responds, throat dry as his adam's apple bobs up and down.
“are you even listening?” you frown at him through the camera.
“yeah,, uh, of course i am.” taehyun clears his throat.
you sigh. “okay, because you're awfully quiet. anyways, so she hit me—”
fuck, that was close. he thinks. his hand slowly picks up it's pace and he's stroking his cock again, back arching against the backrest of the chair as he throws his head back, mouth slightly agape and huffing.
“i don't even know what's her problem! right, tae??” you ask for his approval.
“r-right, ss—aah, keep talking, ‘m so close,” he whispers, his voice cracking. he doesn't register why you went quiet for an awkward 10 seconds before it finally clicks and he clasps a hand over his mouth.
“taehyun.. are you touching yourself ...?” you realize why his camera is off and why he seemed like he wasn't listening. then, silence. “taehyu—”
“i'm so sorry, y/n!!” taehyun blurts out desperately, with nothing else to say, he goes quiet again. guilt travels all over his body in the form of goosebumps as he thinks of what kind of stupid pervert he is, when all you wanted to do with him was chat.
“fuck, dude. if you just wanted to jerk off to my voice you should've told me.”
“huh? wait what?” taehyun's eyes soften.
“it’s kinda hot.” you mumbled as you shifted your camera down to your chest, touching it and rubbing the plushness. “come on, turn on your camera. don't be shy.” you said in a more demanding tone, testing the waters on what he liked the most.
“fuck, y/n, don't do this to me. your voice is…” taehyun sighed as he turned on his camera, showing his fucked out face, hazy eyes and swollen pink lips, glossy with drool all over them.
“you have a thing for my voice?” you asked as you smiled, positioning your camera slightly far away from your chair so he could see you fully.
“i've loved your voice since the beginning of time, i just… i-i don't know. ever since i moved out i realized i collapsed at the sound of your voice just so much more easily..” taehyun also adjusts his camera perfectly so that the frame cuts at his lower abdomen. you can see his shirt ride up above his pecs and his abs slightly moist with sweat.
“tell me what you want me to say then, this is your chance.” you fondle with your clothed breasts in front of the camera, nipples perking up and visible on the cloth, and taehyun slightly flinches at the sight.
“sssshit, i can't focus when you look and sound like that, stop doing that.” taehyun trembles under his breath as he fists his cock again. you can see his hand moving but you can't see his cock out. for some reason, the excitement turned you on way more.
“it's okay, take your time.” you said gently as your hands traveled under your shirt.
“fuck, need you to moan so badly. just whatever, fucking need you to use that voice of yours. please.” taehyun begged, his voice raspy and out of it.
“really?” you grabbed a pillow nearby and placed it beneath you. wearing nothing but a pair of dolphin shorts, you held on to the chair as you rocked your hips back and forth, arching your back to find the angle, starting slow and throwing your head back.
“p-please watch me, tae. i'd grind on your cock like this if you were—aah, mmfh~” you found your pace, looking at your phone screen with dazed eyes. you see taehyun running his fingers through his disheveled hair, holding on to the headphones as he bites his lips and fists his cock at unimaginable speeds.
“talk,” he breathily orders as his hips jitter in his hands.
“show me you're jerking off first,” you said, and taehyun sits slightly further away from the camera, showing an angle of him fisting himself.
“yeah, stroking that cock because my voice turns you on that bad, huh?” you chuckle as you increase your pace, your cunt rubbing onto the surface of the silk pillowcase. “f-fuuuck, tyunnie. a-aah—feels so goddamn good, just wish you were here so badly—!”
“yeah? i'll fuck your ability to walk out of you if i were there right now, holy shit.” taehyun pants and groans as he spits onto his cockhead. “does it feel good? does my cock rubbing against your cunt feel good?” taehyun fists his shaft to simulate the pillow you're humping.
“yeah, oh fuck, fuckfuck—” your mouth is wide open and your head is thrown back as you ride the pillow at incomprehensible speeds, your pussy throbbing and pulsing against the fabric as your slick begins to stain the cover. “you'd feel even better inside me, mmh~”
“keep talking like that and i'll actually go insane, spewing nothing but filth out of that pretty mouth of yours.” taehyun's hips thrust upwards into his fist as he watches you reach your high.
“isn't that what you wanted, taehyun? got off of my voice because you wanted me to moan and whimper in your ear?” you continued to hump the pillow as you felt yourself go dizzy. “gonna cum, a-aah–!”
“you're gonna make me— holy shit,” taehyun's moans became irregular and gradually louder. eventually after you came back from seeing stars, you could see his load splattered all over his fist and abs.
you stared at the screen blankly, mind barely able to function as the both of you pant heavily.
“i'm coming back tomorrow, i don't care.” taehyun remarks as he puts his pants back on and wipes the stripes of cum off of his abdomen.
“isn't it inconvenie—”
“i don't care about conveniency as long as i get to fuck you immediately after i see you again.” taehyun firmly said with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his fucked out face.
“promise?” you said, smiling at the camera.
“promise.”
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later that night, you're shocked to see taehyun standing at your door with a bunch of huge ass bags and a pair of his favorite sneakers.
“you're still holding on to what you said?” you asked him as you let him in with a giggle. “come, i'll help you put these things down first.”
“i don't make promises i can't keep, love. i missed that voice of yours so fucking much, you have no idea… over the phone was clearly not enough.”
you cleared your throat. “i think i do have an idea, after what happened this afternoon..”
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thewintersoldatt · 6 months
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SORRY, NOT SORRY -RAFE CAMERON
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x fem!listener
Summary: Rafe can be a “good” boyfriend when he wants to be… with a sprinkle of manipulation of course.
Warnings: Naughty language, Fluff low-key from our toxic daddy, ft. JJ being a chaotic mess.
notes: This audio is set during 1x05. Instead of it being midsummer's, it's the listeners birthday! I've been working on this all week and I'm tired of listening to it on repeat, so if something doesn't add up, it's because I got lazy. And I wish Rafe told me he loved me. 😭
word count: Its audio, my panties are wet and so are yours.
Scene one
JJ: Ah, would you look at this! It's our birthday girl!
You: What are you doing here?
Our cutie patootie rambles on then walks off with the security guard.
During this pause count to about 6 or 7.
You: What the hell did you guys do to his face?
Rafe: We didn't do anything… his face was like that when he…showed up.
You: Well, why did you guys corner him in here?
Rafe: We were just making sure... he knew his place. And that he's not allowed here. If anything, we were doing you and your parents a favor, I mean, god knows what he already took.
You: You promised me you wouldn’t start anything tonight, Rafe.
Rafe: Can you give us a minute? I'd like to talk to my girlfriend... alone, so get out. Alright, um, can I speak first since you wanna do this right now?
You: Go ahead.
Rafe: How long have you lived here?
You: I was born here.
Rafe: Yes you were born here, but where - where did you grow up?
You: Figure 8.
Rafe: Yes, you grew up on Figure 8. And where did... our pal JJ grow up?
You: The cut.
Rafe: The Cut. and that's exactly my point, baby. We're kooks. And... what is JJ again?
You: Jesus, Rafe don't start-
Rafe: Come on, you wanna talk, let’s talk. What about communication? Isn’t that what we're supposed to be working on?
Count to 3 during this pause.
You: He’s a pouge.
Rafe: See that wasn't so hard, now was it? Now, let me make something clear, and stop me if you get a little confused - you and me. We’re practically royalty on this island. We’re together for a reason. And before you saying, yes I do love you. I always have and I always will. You’re mine. You’re it for me, sweetheart. And… you’re a kook. So, start acting like one before I do something about it, mkay?
You: God, you’re a dick you know that? How about you leave too.
Rafe: Ugh, look I’m sorry, alright? It’s just… it’s just when I saw him on the patio talking to Sarah I lost it. This is supposed to be your day and I didn’t want him ruining it. Kind of like when… uh… we switched out the coke with flour and gave it to Top because he ate your cupcakes.
You: And how is that relevant to this?
Rafe: It’s sorta the same thing. You - you worked hard on those. Uh, he ate them. I was pissed because they were for me. And you were upset because I wanted to punch him in the throat. Tomato, tomahto. Blah, blah, blah. See you’re smiling, I love it when you smile.
You: You’re such a sap.
Rafe: I love you.
You: I love you too.
Rafe: And again, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause a scene, I just didn’t know how else to get him to leave. You know how JJ and his friends are. All of them are drawn to us like a moth to a flame. Now, uh, can we put this behind us and get back to the party?
You: Thats the smartest thing that’s come out of your fat mouth all night, baby.
Rafe: By the way, I really do think he took something from your bedroom.
You: What?
Rafe: I saw him come down from the hallway, unless he took something from your dad’s office?
You: You’re serious?
Rafe: As a heart attack.
You: But… I’ve never done anything to him.
Rafe: That’s what they do though. You should know this by now. They butter you up, just to take whatever they can right from under our noses. It’s sick, if I’m being honest.
You: So much for trying to be civil.
Rafe: I know, yeah, I’ll talk to your dad, and um, see what we can do. But for now, let’s go celebrate. It’s not everyday someone turns 17.
@rafesapologist @rvfecamerons @sadfury @rafesthroatbaby @rafesaddiction @hockeybabe87 @rafeinterlude @starkeyisthelastname @secretly-tumb1r @kingkylie444 @stayonmars @maybankswhore @barbiiecams @princessmisery666 @ilovebarrykeoghan
If you would like to be tagged, I gotchu sis.
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r0se1111 · 10 days
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Can't stop thinking about being Ford's assistant and you're there when Stan shows up and the portal mess happens... you just lost your best friend, and sure his brother might be a bit weird but dammit you are not leaving this weird little town until Ford is back! So you and Stan work together and live together trying to get him back... you eventually agree with his whole "Mystery Shack" business and fall into a sort of strange but comfortable domesticity.
You teach him about interdimensional physics and quantum engineering, and he teaches you how to be a better liar and how to mark up prices just enough that people don't complain. The two of you get greasy meals at midnight in grimy 24/7 diners after hours of trying to decipher Ford's journals... you take long car rides listening to the fuzzy radio... you watch shitty TV together and who really minds if his arm finds its way around your shoulder, or if his hand wanders a little too close to your thigh to be considered platonic. It's really not a big deal you tell yourself, if you find his over-the-top 'Mr. Mystery' act more endearing than annoying, and if the wall between your two rooms seems a bit too thick some nights.
And well, it's just natural that you two get married a few years down the line because "Mr. Mystery needs a Mrs. Mystery... just think of all the merchandise we could sell!" and if Stan blushes when he sees you in your thrifted white dress on the way to the local courthouse- well he's never seen me dressed up, that's all- and if the rings you exchange are definitely more than you two can really afford but no less meaningful, you don't blink an eye.
It's not until 30 years later and the twins have come into your life, between Mabel's puppies-and-rainbows attitude towards love, more specifically the love she swears to see between you and Stan, as well as watching the man bond in an almost fatherly way to Dipper (who reminds you so much of Ford it hurts sometimes) that you begin to reevaluate your guys' relationship. The little touches, the playful flirting, the hours spent in each other's company. What once was a marriage of convenience, a relationship which you could swear was just two good friends, now is subject to your critical review as you shakily realize. Shit. I'm in love.
Before you can figure out how to tell your husband of 30 years you're in love with him, ta-da Ford is back! He's shocked to find that his brash brother and quiet assistant are now married, and after watching your interactions for a few days assumes it is a marriage of love. It's not until you ramble to him in a panic that you "have feelings for Stan and probably have since you'd first met him but we only got married for practicality and he probably doesn't see me like that and we just flirt for fun and he's your brother what do I do??"that Ford sighs heavily and in true annoying brother fashion, forces the two of you to confront each other.
I bet you didn't see this coming reader, but ofc Stan returns your feelings with a sort of blinking awe. He's torn between a sort of excited "I've still got it" and a sheepish "It took us 30 years of MARRIAGE to realize we like-like each other Jesus Christ..." But your relationship had already been so couple-y that the two of you adjust easily.
ALSO also... since Stan faked his death and took Ford's identity technically you're married to Ford... he very graciously divorces you (sorry Ford girlies... it's just for this imagine </3) and you and Stan have an Actual Wedding where you two are Officially In Love. Same little courthouse, same too-expensive rings, but different because now you are surrounded by family and friends as you happily enter officially married life. Sigh... idiots in love <3
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reiderwriter · 1 year
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♦️There Are No Words Left to Speak ♦️
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Chapter 5 of That's What You Get
Prev Chap || Next Chap
Pairing: Spencer Reid X Fem Reader
Summary: In a panic, you spill your guts to Penelope and receive some much needed advice before your "date" with Reid.
Warnings: None!!
A/N: This one is 4k words long because I absolutely could not help myself 😭 I've has a lot of messages and asks about this series lately, and it's been really encouraging to see! If you like this chapter, please comment or reblog and let me know or come chat with me in my inbox! Happy Reading!!
You can find my masterlist here and the series masterlist here.
"Penelope, I fucked up and I need your advice," you screamed into the room as soon as the door slammed open, startling the other woman as she threw her phone up in surprise. 
"Jesus, Y/N, you're lucky I didn't reach for the all too full can of pepper spray I store in here, oh my god."
"I'm sorry, Pen, I'm just, I'm kinda freaking out, and I need your help."
"Are we going to need wine, or are we going to need ice cream and a chick flick? What kind of problem are we talking here?" she asked from her place at the desk. 
"I married Spencer in Vegas." You said and then clamped your hand over your mouth as you finally let the pressure of the weekends mess seep out of you now that you'd shared your secret. 
"Oh my god, both, we'll do both. We need both, let's go, let's go now."
–X– 
Penelope drove the two of you home, immediately moving into a mothering role as soon as the words left your mouth, and she could see your impending implosion. You were grateful that she didn’t ask you any further questions as you made your way back to her apartment, just turning on the radio to a channel playing 90s pop hits and simply letting you calm down through the fun music. 
When you finally got through her door, she let you get comfortable and then immediately came back with all the things she promised. 
“Okay, I know you’re more a rose girl, but all I have is this really nice white that Derek got me for my last birthday and half a bottle of tequila, and I think it’s better for the both of us if we don’t open the tequila. Also, I have chocolate, cookie dough ice cream, and tissues, and When Harry Met Sally on DVD, I'm ready to be plugged in and played as soon as you say the word.” 
“Penelope, we do not tell you how brilliant you are as often as we should.” 
“While that is true, I’m trying my best not to immediately cave and ask you to spill, so can we please sing my praises after you explain what you mean by saying you married Spencer.” 
“God, Penelope, I don’t know what happened,” you let your head hang in your hands and she immediately moved to sit closer to you, rubbing a hand over your back and getting the tissues ready. 
“We went out drinking, and my mom got in my head earlier in that call I took, and I don’t remember anything and then I woke up and we were in bed together and-” you rambled out, lifting your head up as you tried to explain, but she cut you off quickly there.
“You were in bed together? Did you… you know, bump uglies with Spencer? Do the old in n’ out? Sorry, I’m making this worse, I’ll shut up now,” she said, but you laughed at her enthusiasm, and you felt more of the weekend’s tension leave your body. You knew that you had made the right decision coming to Penelope with this. She always knew how to make you feel better. 
“I don’t know, but it looks like it. TMI but-”
“Hold on, I don’t think I want to know what the Good Doctor is like in bed.” She visibly shuddered, and you let out another shaky laugh. 
“Well considering I remember none of it, you’d be hard pressed to get those details from me. I did wake up handcuffed to the bed, though.” 
“Shut the front door, no you did not!” Penelope’s jaw dropped. “Oh god, I’m almost morbidly curious, but I don’t want to open that can of worms. Sorry, please continue.” 
You took a swig of the wine she poured you and relaxed a bit further into her couch, pulling your legs up under you to find a more comfortable position as you told the rest of your story to Penelope, gaining more confidence with each of her reactions to what you told her. 
“So, now we just need to track down our two witnesses and get the marriage quietly annulled, and we can forget it ever happened.” You could hear the frown in your voice before you realised you were making that kind of expression, and from Penelope’s reaction, you could see that she’d noticed too. 
“Oh.. oh, I know that look. You don’t want the annulment, do you?” 
“Yes! I mean, no! Look, I really don’t know how to answer that right now, it’s just…” you trailed off, and Penelope silently filled your wine glass again, not saying anything and letting you come around at your own pace. 
“Earlier today, after we told Rossi, and before I came running to you, he… he kissed my forehead, and he called me Mrs. Reid, and I really liked it. And I didn’t think about it before, but Reid is nice, and he is good, and he is obviously really smart, and, god  he’d be a great dad, and he took care of me yesterday and today… Penelope, I think I have a crush on my husband.” You gasped out, feeling the weight of your revelation as it hit you straight in the gut. 
“But we talked about it and we’re getting an annulment and now it’s like I fucked up before I really got the chance to let it go anywhere, and what if it’s a mistake? What if I made the world’s greatest fuck up and married a great man in Vegas and then threw it all away a week later?” you raked your hand through your hair quickly, trying to ignore the tears forming quickly in your eyes. 
“Oh my god, sweetie, it’s going to be okay… You’re going to have to trust me when I tell you that it’s going to be okay…” she patted you on the back and you let the tears fall down a bit, quickly dabbing them away with the now balled up tissue in your hand. 
“I don’t know if I can, Pen…” you tried to smile up at her, but you could feel your lips wobbling and you let your head hang again before you could let out a choked sob. 
“No, nonononoonono, listen to me… Okay, promise you won’t hate me after I say this?” She said, squishing your cheeks between her hands as she made you look up into her eyes. 
“I pwomise,” you sniffed out, voice muffled by her strong grip. She let you go then, content that she had your attention. 
“I know for a fact that the boy is as infatuated with you as you are with him because… because I saw you two.” She stopped there to watch your reaction, but you froze, so she continued.
“You… you called me from wherever you guys were out in Vegas, mumbled some words over the phone and then sent me a picture of a brochure with an address on it, and then when I turned up it was a wedding chapel and you were getting married.” She winced out those last words, and you gasped at the confession. 
“You were one of the witnesses! Penelope!” You pointed an accusatory finger at her, but it was half-hearted. You knew that you were stubborn enough while sober. You certainly wouldn’t have been persuaded out of something you obviously wanted while blackout drunk. 
“I know, I know, I’m sorry, but you guys were just too cute! He was giving you all these small kisses on your forehead and on your cheeks, and you looked like innocent kids giddy and high on love, and I didn’t want to bring you back down to earth. You looked so happy, and I do not make it a habit to get in the way of my friends’ happiness.” 
“Penelope, why didn’t you say anything?” You groan out, sounding a bit like a petulant teenager who has just discovered her mom threw out a shirt she hadn’t worn in years. 
“I wanted to, but I was told not to…” she winced away. “And before you ask, I won’t tell you who else was there! Just know it was someone else who also loves both of you and would’ve pulled you two out of there. No questions asked if they thought you were making a stupid decision!” 
You let the revelations sink in, one by one. Penelope was there. Reid couldn’t keep his lips off of you. The other witness thought you two were good together. It almost didn’t surprise you when you started giggling, finding humour in the situation at least. 
“Oh my god, Penelope, I got married in Vegas to my coworker. And I think I’m in love with him now.” You were in a fit of giggles now, and Penelope hesitantly joined in at first. 
“Yeah, I suppose it is funny when you put it that way.” 
“God, what am I going to do? How am I going to face him from now on?” You pulled yourself together again and faced Penelope again, hoping that she would have actual answers for your very rhetorical question. 
“Well, at least we have a couple of days off now. You don’t have to see him again until we go to work.” 
“No, we have a date tomorrow,” you said matter-of-factly. “Appointment, really, he’s reading some books on alcohol induced memory loss tonight, and then I’m going over to his place to see if any of it can help us fill in the blanks.” 
“Oh god, you’re going to talk books with Reid. That’s practically as romantic as it gets for him. No wonder he wifed you up.” You playfully kicked her leg, and she laughed again. “Okay, so no avoidance, okay. Maybe you could put the moves on him? Try to recreate that scene with the handcuffs. Who knows what might happen.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you then, and you did your best not to once again be overcome by a fit of giggles.
“Okay, enough of my romantic problems. I was promised When Harry Met Sally and that ice cream has probably melted, so let’s get to it.” 
–X–
You braced yourself at the apartment door as you psyched yourself up to knock. As promised, you’d been greeted in the morning by a text from Spencer with his address and a proposed time to meet. He’d suggested 5pm, and you’d agreed, but here you were 20 minutes early, probably looking overdressed and over eager to spend time with your coworker/ husband/ soon to be former husband, maybe. 
You’d left Penelope’s apartment that morning, having had an impromptu sleepover, happy that you’d at least confirmed your own feelings. You’d taken a taxi to collect your car, then spent the rest of your time at home overthinking and overpreparing. 
You’d put on a dress and some make-up, and you were almost regretting the decision now you were on his doorstep, wondering what he’d think. You worked one of the toughest jobs in the world together, and you knew that he’d seen you completely black and blue after going blow for blow with unsubs in the past. Would he think this sudden effort was weird? You tried not to pace, knowing that your footsteps in the hall would alert him to your presence, but you couldn’t bring yourself to knock just yet. 
You checked your phone again. 4:45. You couldn’t spend another fifteen minutes out here overthinking, so you finally just pushed ahead and knocked. Almost as if he had been waiting on the other side of the door this entire time, Reid answered immediately, not even letting you get a third rap in before he was there standing in front of you. 
“Hi,” you said, standing there awkwardly with your hand still up, ready to knock again. 
“Hey,” he replied, smiling at you. 
You felt his eyes trail down your body, taking in your appearance. The dress you’d chosen wasn’t particularly special, just a mid-length tiered dress with bow straps. The weather was getting chillier so you’d layered it over a plain turtleneck, enjoying the added bonus of not having to conceal down your neck to mask the love bites he’d lavished upon you only a few nights prior. 
You looked at him as well, and you were pleasantly surprised by his casual wear. He was more dressed down than he was in the office, but not by much. He was still wearing slacks, and a button down shirt as well, but he’d thrown a beaten up CalTech sweater over the top of them, and he looked so cosy you wanted to bury your head in his chest. He was wearing his glasses, and you were so thankful for that, as you forgot how well they suited him, fitting him perfectly. 
“You’re early.” He said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you, drawing you out of the trance he’d kept you in while you took in the sight of him. 
“Yeah, I guess I just overestimated how long it was going to take to get here. Is that okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah, it’s great, totally fine. Come in.” He moved his body to the side slightly so you could enter the door, but kept his outer arm pressed against the door so you had to duck under it, brushing past him as you went. The small contact made your entire body buzz, your heartrate picking up as you willed yourself to act natural. 
“The food should be here any minute.” He smiled as he followed you back into his apartment. “I wanted it to arrive before you got here so I could surprise you.” You turned around to face him, and you could hear the bashfulness in his voice as he made the admission. 
“Sorry for ruining the surprise,” you smiled up at him. “What did you order?” 
“I remembered you mentioned that Korean streetfood place a while back that does those spicy rice cakes and kimbap rolls, so I got us some of that. Is that okay?” 
“Sounds perfect.” You were touched that he even remembered the conversation when you yourself couldn’t even think of when it might have happened. He turned and walked further into the apartment, and you followed him this time, finally looking around and taking it all in. 
The walls were obviously lined with bookshelves, and there were books laying around in piles everywhere. The walls were painted a dark colour, which made the space feel calming, almost more intimate, and sunlight was streaming in from the open window on the back wall. 
“Sorry, it’s not much. Take a seat wherever, and I’ll grab those books I was talking about.” 
You took a seat on the couch and watched him trail around the room, picking up books from several shelves and stacks. 
“Okay, this is all of them. So the main takeaway is that it usually takes two weeks to fully recover memories from alcohol induced blackouts.” He explained, bringing you a stack at least eight books high. 
“Spencer, did you read all of these last night?” You asked. 
“Yeah, I said I would, I thought it would help.” 
“Spencer,” you took his hand into yours as he set the books on the floor and flopped down to the couch beside you. “I really appreciate you putting in all this effort to help us, but you could’ve just come home and relaxed, you know. Our case was long and tough, and now all of this, you deserve a break.” You stroked your thumb over the back of his hand, trying to make the gesture calm and reassuring. 
“I know, I wanted to do this. I want to remember what happened between us,” he whispered the words softly, not needing to fill the space with much sound as you’d crept closer and closer together since he’d returned. 
“So, uh, two weeks then, is that it, we just have to wait for the memories to return?” you asked quietly, letting go of the small moment you’d shared to get back to the task at hand. 
“It seemed so, but there are some other more general tips we could implement that could help us piece together what happened. We might at least be able to figure out who our witnesses were.” 
You felt almost guilty then, but you kept your mouth shut. You’d decided the night before that you wouldn’t tell Reid about Penelope. At least not yet. You wanted the time first to see if he could possibly feel the same way about you before you worked up the courage to let him in on what you had learnt. 
“Yeah, I’m open to try anything. Within reason, that is.” 
“Great! I was thinking at first that maybe we could do a cognitive interview, but as we only have each other to work with, I thought that might make some of our answers more biased and not garner effective results. But we could still try to jog our memories by working out some of the same emotions, doing some things we could have done that night, and seeing if any of it rings a bell?” 
“Some of the things we did that night?” 
“Yeah,” he repled. 
“Like… like make out or get handcuffed to a bed?” You enjoyed watching the flush creep up his neck, and his eyes go wide as he struggled to backtrack on that one. 
“No, no! I mean, unless you want to, or you think it would help?” It was your turn to be left speechless, your mouth suddenly not complying with your brain as you begged yourself to respond somehow. All you could muster was a glance down at his lips that lingered a bit too long, your body slowly creeping forward. 
He noticed and moved closer towards you as well, letting his hand grasp your waist as you got caught in his atmosphere. 
“It’s worth a try, right? To regain our memories.” He supplied you with the words, letting you stay silent as your lips grew closer and closer together, seconds away from taking your breath away forever. 
A loud rap at the door and a shout of “delivery” had the two of you suddenly bouncing away from each other, Reid scrambling to the door to collect the food, while you stood up awkwardly and tried to pretend there was something really interesting on his bookshelf that had caught your attention all of a sudden. 
For the Nth time in so many days, you found yourself trying to convince your heart to beat a little quieter, and you managed to get yourself under control as he returned with the food.
“I’m sorry, I lost track of time…” he trailed off as you nodded, joining him back at the couch as he began unpacking the food. 
“It’s totally fine, we should eat anyways, trust me when I say this stuff doesn’t taste even half as good cold.” You smiled at him, but it didn’t go quite to your eyes. You really wanted to kiss him, and you were really doing your best to control your disappointment, not wanting to show off how desperate for him you were. 
“Well, you’re in luck, because you now get to witness one of my only flaws,” he said, fishing out two sets of chopsticks from the delivery bag. “I am absolutely terrible with chopsticks.” 
You giggled at him and grabbed the pair he offered you, letting out a dramatic fake gasp. “And you only tell me after we get married? That’s it, I want a divorce,” you laugh, and the two of you settle down into a comfortable silence as you begin your meal. 
–X– 
Two hours later, and you’re still no closer to locking lips with the man than you were earlier. You’d had a nice time talking with him over the food, both of you sitting like kids on the floor as you ate over his coffee table. He’d told you about a Korean film festival he’d attended a few years back, one of many international film festivals he’d been to, and you sat and listened, in awe of the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something that excited him. You hoped that one day, he’d talk about you in that same way. 
You helped him clean up and settled back onto the couch, where he’d mentioned having a copy of one of the films that had since been subtitled, and you ended up in another movie marathon.
The movie was good, but his presence next to you was even better. He’d stretched out his arms on the couch behind you, letting you snuggle up into his side as you pulled your legs up and under you, screwing yourself up in a comfortable little ball, burrowing into him for warmth. He was a fire beside you, and you wished you were bold enough to push further into him, to drag your hands across his skin and feel even more of him, continuing the exploration from earlier. But you weren’t, and, honestly, you were tired, so you let yourself sit peacefully beside him, touching but not much, as you were lulled to sleep by the sounds of the TV. 
It was pitch black outside when you finally cracked your eyes open again, but he was still there next to you on the couch. The movie had been turned off, and so had the TV, and there was a blanket now wrapped around your legs, so he had obviously moved, but he had also come back to you. You shifted your head up to look at him and smiled. He’d picked up another book from who knows what shelf and was reading slowly so as not to wake you with the movements of his hand as he traced down the page. Your head had moved from his chest to his lap, and he held the book off to the side in one hand, his other resting protectively over your waist. He was so engrossed by his book that he hadn’t even realised you’d moved and that you were awake until you spoke to him. 
“Spencer? What time is it?” you asked, your voice thick with sleep. 
“It’s 11:30. You fell asleep during the movie and you looked like you could use the sleep.” 
“Wow, what a way to tell a girl she doesn’t look so good,” you laughed at him as he pouted down at you. 
“I didn’t mean that. Y/N, you look beautiful today. You look beautiful everyday.” 
You lifted yourself up from his lap, one hand braced on either side of his legs on the couch as you bought yourself eye-to-eye with him, your chests close enough to touch if you took a big breath in. Instead, yours were shallow as you looked up at him through heavy eyes. 
“Thank you, Spencer.” You whispered, silently begging him to close the space between the two of you. But he didn’t, instead, clearing his throat and putting his book down, breaking your eye contact. 
“I should be getting home now. It’s pretty late.” You said, standing up from the couch. He followed you up and around as you started collecting your things and organising the space you’d occupied. 
“Y/N it’s late, and you’re tired. I can’t let you drive home like that. An estimated 30% of road accidents occur due to sleep deficiency, you know.” 
“It’s fine, I don’t want to get a taxi and just leave my car here and then have to come back in the morning. I’ll be fine driving,” you said, but he softly took the keys out of your hands as you grabbed them from your bag. 
“Stay here tonight.” He said, less of a suggestion than an already established fact. You looked up at him and knew there was no changing his mind, but he continued anyway. 
“I have a spare toothbrush and some old clothes you can probably use as pajamas, and it’s not like we haven’t shared a bed before. Maybe…maybe waking up next to each other again will help jog our memories, too. We only have until the end of the week, right?” 
He looked at you expectantly, and you let out a little sigh and nodded your head, letting him guide you away to the bedroom and back into sleeping in his arms. 
--×--
🏷 @w-windy @multifandom-on-the-side @reidandhotchsgirl @babybluecakes @hugyourlungs @prentissesredtanktop @reidscaffeine @bethanyhaas01 @average-sunflower @academiareid @sailortongue @daddy-dotcom @anniewhalelover @abbyshmaby @isabel-ffl-xoxo @sujan39 @frxcless @bluestuesday @busy-buzzing @breadbrobin @maxinehufflepuffprincess @l0v3cam @booksandwonderlands @myescapefromthislife @ferrjulie @scoobydoopoo @aelinismyqueen @littlesingingbean @jamiemuscatosslut @xohoneybun @anchovy89freya @dysphoricsanity @ghostheartbeat @rebloggiest-reblogger @wishyoudaskme @imawhoreforu @academiacoffeelover @softservepunk @andiebeaword @r-3dlips @wakaladjarin @ratbastardchild @mcira @danika1994 @stargurl99 @whovianwholikesgirls @its-not-too-late-for-coffee @doriantomybasil @shqwqrma @shits8gigs
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mrabubu · 3 months
Note
How do you think the turtles from ROTMNT would deal with their feelings if they were in love with someone (be it human, mutant, Yokai, etc.)?
Oh man... Hmmm...
I really hope that wouldn't be a problem if I mostly ramble about Leo (I'M SORRY GUYS THE BLUE TURTLE LIVES IN MY MIND RENT FREE), and maybe a couple of words about the rest. I'll also be talking about both young and adult Leos, so, here we go.
I'll give short opinions on other turtles before Leo:
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Donnie: Would be neglecting his feelings and emotions at first. Even though, in my opinion, he was established as the one prone to romance, I think when he'd actually feel anything towards anyone, he'd be really conflicted, because it's one thing to see this stuff on the TV and all, and another when it's in real life. But once he'll deal with all this mess in his head, he's a real gentleman.
With Raph and Mikey I'm going to refer to @souperwrites words, I hope they don't mind xd
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"Mikey is confident and lovey dovey." And I totally agree with it. I feel like he would be the one who'd have the least problems with his feelings.
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"Raph is shy but very genuine in his affection but also super nervous because of his size and the potential harm he could cause without meaning to." But honestly, I think my friend @daysofmoron could also give their opinion, since they love the red turtle. xd OKAY, NOW MY BOY LEO.
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If start with young Leo, in the show he was always all "EWW!" whenever any sign of romantic love is shown, be it Big Mama and Splinter or Warren and Hypno (at least I remember them being all cuddly, and Leo's was just barfing at them on the background), but I imagine once his own heart goes "doki-doki" for Y/N (let it be Y/N or "you" for now), he's a total mess at first. Remember that episode when they met Jupiter Jim actor, and Leo couldn't even put the syllables together? Yeah, that's him at the start, especially if Y/N doesn't know about his feelings towards them. He'll be trying to impress Y/N but since his emotions are all over the place, he messes up more than usual, maybe even ending up hurting himself (like, he'd try to impress you with his skateboarding skills, but ends up eating concrete because he's too distracted).
And here I'm going to add a bit of my own ideas, because I've been thinking of some scenarios, like, if taking that previous idea with skateboarding, or, more easily, let's take the episode "The Longest Fight" when he fell, I imagine if on the contrary from others you'd actually show any genuine concern about if he's hurt, he'd be like "Oh..." and blushing, because usually his brothers would make fun if him, and here comes in you who doesn't laugh at his failure and worries if he needs help. I think after a moment like this he could begin to feel something.
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And with Future Leo HO OHO I have an entire game reference on how I imagine him handling a romance.
First of all, I think as an adult he would be more confident with his feelings if he ever feels anything towards anyone, because, well, he's an adult now, and because when you at war you kinda already went through a lot to be all this blushing mess over feeling butterflies in your stomach.
So, as a reference, whenever I thought of him in a relationship, I though of a romance with Garrus from Mass Effect. I imagine Leo being kinda awkward, trying to make jokes at first that are much more sloppy than usual. Especially if talking about Garrus, I always think of that scene from Mass Effect 2, when he comes into Shepard's room before the final mission, trying to lighten up the mood, flirt and all, but ends up just being an awkward (but adorable) mess, and saying: "I've seen so many things have gone wrong... I want something to go right. Just once. Just..."
And it's just really easy for me to imagine Leo say that. And instead of touching scars you touch his prosthetic.
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And also that dialogue with Liara after "The Lair of the Shadow Broker" DLC, when she asks if you fight for giving Garrus some peace, and you say that he's been hurt and deserves something better.
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But once Leo's over all the awkwardness and let himself relax, he's just enjoying this new experience with you, having fun.
This scene with Garrus and Shepard trying the "first date" thing which ends up them dancing tango together. With all the teasing and all, I can easily imagine Leo would do something like that.
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Honestly, I think that's it? There are more scenes in Mass Effect with Garrus and Shepard where I could easily imagine Leo would do something like that, but it's a lot. If you know, you know, If don't, well, I hope I was able to gave you an idea.
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jewish-vents · 5 months
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I was adopted by Jewish people and converted to Judaism when I was a teenager. The morality Judaism offers has guided me through navigating my personality disorder, my severe alexithymia, my impaired judgment and my bouts of irrational paranoia. My original family lost custody of me because they beat me senseless, starved me, burned me, broke my bones and actually killed my sister by beating her to death. My girlfriend, a goy, texted me images of alleged victims of the IDF that a single reverse Google image search would have showed her are victims of US military intervention in Syria. And she honestly said, "Sometimes I think it would be better if you hadn't been adopted so you weren't technically sort of part of Israel."
I've never been to Israel but I have been up all night and now, as the dawn breaks, I've come to the conclusion I need to cut her out of my life. My whole life I've struggled with outbursts of anger, it's a part of most Cluster B personality disorders. When she said that I wasn't angry. I felt hollowed out. It feels like she ripped the personhood out of me. Because if you care about a person's well-being, you would never, EVER look at them and go, "I think it would be better if you had stayed with literal child murderers rather than be Jewish, which I am going to conflate not just with Israel but with the image of the IDF spread online". I can't be angry because it's so cruel I can't wrap my mind around it. It seems unreal. I kept checking for hours, convinced I must be having a break from reality because of the stress. I kept thinking it must be a visual hallucination. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a very strange dream.
I know breaking up with her is going to hurt her very badly no matter how nicely I do it. We've been dating a very long time. But I want to have kids someday and I can't do it with a woman who would rather I be dead than be Jewish. I'm not a guy who does the whole "my partner's beliefs have to match mine" thing but I can't raise Jewish children with her. I can't even trust her to see me clearly.
It's taking everything in my power not to say anything to her until I can calm down enough to approach this from a stable place. In my entire life, I don't think a single thing someone has said has ever messed me up so profoundly in my life.
I'm sorry I'm rambling. I can feel that I'm all over the place. Feel free not to publish this if it's too long. I can't imagine how much stress running this blog is. You probably get a bunch of hate and garbage on top of the already hard job of reading everyone's pain. I hope you're taking care of yourself. Thank you for running this blog.
I'm so sorry for all of that. I think you're making the right decision to cut her out. It's very reasonable to worry about how she might treat any children you have in the future, but that was also an indefensibly cruel thing to say to you.
Breaking up might hurt her, but that isn't your fault. You need to take care of yourself. -🐞
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kakujis · 1 year
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what do i call you?;
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summary: oliver thinks you'll be easy, just like the other girls he's slept with. but things are different when you don't cave in like he wants. pt 1 | 2
warnings: college!au, afab!fem reader, fratboy!oliver, wildcard!kunigami, this one is a bit angsty, oliver is actually a big softie, situationships, implied fwb with kunigami + karasu, one sided pining (oliver), oral f!receiving, praise, pet names, p*ssyjob, swearing, mentions of drinking, reader is confused on her feelings, if i missed anything lmk, around 7.1k
an: this took me literal months... send help. well, it's finally here! after months of sitting in my drafts half written, i was able to finish it. if the smut is bad, i'm sorry idk how i did it before LMFAO. thanks to zen for letting me ramble about this in their dms for months. tbh i think this is the longest fic i've written so far and ofc it's about this guy LOL. also, i may or may not have a mini playlist for this so lmk if u any of u would like the link :>. resident of: @enchantedforest-network
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the first time you “meet” oliver aiku, it’s the morning after you were a drunken mess on your best friend’s back. it’s not that he’s surprised to see someone that isn’t sendou shuto in his kitchen, it’s the fact that you’re not walking out yet. instead, you fix yourself a bowl of cereal, barely paying any mind to the brunette watching you. before he can speak you leave, padding back to sendou’s room. 
the second time happens when he catches a glimpse of you in the library with karasu tabito. your arms hanging around his shoulders in a back hug, as you peer down at his laptop. he notes the proximity and nonchalant demeanor of karasu, typing away while he talks to you about his latest class, even with your cheek pressed against his. maybe you’re his girlfriend, he thinks, before shrugging and moving on. 
the third time happens when you stumble down a hallway at a party, bumping into him as you giggle out a quick, “sorry!” but kunigami rensuke isn’t far behind, grabbing your hand and scolding you before he offers an half assed apology as well. he doesn’t think much of it, preoccupied by his own date, until he sees kunigami pick you up as you babble in his ear about something. 
the official meeting is when you’re having a movie night with sendou at his dorm again. your head lays in the red head’s lap, texting your friends as you give distracted “mhm”s to whatever sendou’s saying. 
“are you even paying attention?” sendou asks, eyes flickering between you and the screen. before shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth. 
“sen, i really don’t care about whichever gravure idol you’re into right now.” you reply, before your lips curve up into a smile at whatever text you’re reading. 
for once, he’s unsure what this feeling is inside him. is it jealousy? awe? he can’t pinpoint the reason why his dual toned eyes always trail to you, taking in your pretty form. but he’s oliver aiku, he could probably get into your pants if he tried hard enough. 
he slides down onto the couch, slinging an arm over sendou. “whatcha watchin’?” he’s not really paying attention to what’s on the tv, their voices muffled as he notes your form through his peripheral. 
the red-head shrugs, “some romcom that she picked out and isn’t even watching.” he pokes your head, “at least introduce yourself.” 
“mm?” you hum, moving your phone away to peek up at oliver. from the way you’re positioned you’re viewing him upside down. you readjust, twisting and pushing yourself up onto your knees, leaning over with one outstretched hand. “hi, i’m y/n.” 
“you’re blocking the screen!” sendou exclaims, but you don’t move, eyes locked on the brunette across from you. 
oliver tries his best not to leer, really, but he drinks you up with his eyes. it’s hard not to since you’re wearing a shirt that’s clearly too big with the way it falls off one shoulder. he thinks you’d look pretty underneath him and wonders if you make even prettier sounds.
he reaches over to shake your hand, to sendou’s dismay, and maybe it’s cliche but he swears he feels a spark for the very first time. it’s something that gets his heart racing, something new and exciting. 
“i’m oliver, nice to officially meet you.” 
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the upcoming months blur and melt into each other, there’s not much to be noted. beyond you coming over every so often to hang out with sendou, what is there beyond soccer practice, classes half paid attention to, and meaningless hookups? frat parties? sure, you both attend them. with each other? not necessarily. 
no, you continue to evade oliver aiku’s grasp. 
“i can’t,” the text reads, “i promised to go with kunigami.” 
he frowns, before typing back: “maybe next time then?” 
“maybe.” 
it’s fine, he thinks, fixing himself another cup of alcohol. he’ll find another girl, it’s easy. but even the ones he’s been with before, the ones who always answer his texts for a quick fuck are starting to bore him. 
it doesn’t help that when you arrive you look so good or that you excitedly greet everyone with a smile and a hug. his hands always linger on the small of your back until you pull away, scampering back over to your date. 
it’s confusing, you swear up and down that you aren’t dating kunigami, but anyone would think you’re with him. especially when your arms are always laced around him, body pressed against his as the two of you talk. he’s always wondered what you could possibly be talking about, kunigami isn’t much for words let alone full blown conversations. but maybe he’s like oliver, fallen deep for how easy it is to talk to you. 
seconds tick into minutes, which turn to hours and before either of you knows it, you’re tipsy, lips curled into a smile as you giggle and shout while your friends play beer bong. he leans against the wall with sendou, trying his best to not stare. 
“you could try talking to her more.” his friend says, breaking the silence between the two. “or are you just gonna stare at her forever?” 
“is she with kunigami or not?” he asks, ignoring the question, “every time i ask her out i get turned down.” 
“yeah, i dunno either, she doesn’t really answer that.” sendou replies, taking another sip of his beer. “i think she’s just messing around, if that helps.” 
if that helps - oliver is pretty sure it doesn’t, but he knows sendou isn’t going to tell him everything. still, the vague response pisses him off. 
there’s also the fact that the two of you have similar friend groups and that you’re a clingy drunk that throws him off. when he finds you in kunigami’s arms again, dozing away in the crook of his neck, the grip intensifies on his cup, indenting the red plastic. his close friends notice it too, the weight of his stare is heavy as if there’s on a spotlight right where you’re sitting. 
but he puts the facade back on when another girl approaches, a welcoming distraction. she’s cute and he recognizes her as being part of his fraternity’s sister sorority. unfortunately, he just can’t focus on her and what she’s saying. his eyes continue to flicker back to you, hot jealousy continuing to bubble in his stomach when he sees kunigami’s hand rub circles on your inner thigh. 
the girl is still talking and he’s doing his best to at least nod when she finishes a sentence. but the final straw is when you sleepily smile at kunigami, as he reads your lips, ‘that tickles!’. 
“hey,” he interrupts, grabbing the closest friend to him, “could you excuse me for a second? by the way, this is sendou.” 
it was brief but for a moment, sendou felt it. the too tight grip on his shoulder and the nails digging into his skin through this cotton tee indicated one thing: jealousy. but before he can speak, oliver’s maneuvering his way through the crowd with a one track mind. 
when he makes it over to you, your grip on kunigami’s shirt is so tight as his hand continues snaking it’s way under the hem of your skirt. you’re not sure if the heat is coming from desire or the alcohol swimming through your veins. your gaze is something oliver’s seen before with countless other girls, it’s sweet, but laced with want. 
“hey, pretty girl.” he says, voice cutting through the air like a knife. 
you tear away from kunigami’s gaze, smiling cutely when you see who it is. “oliver~ hii,” you sing, twisting a little out of the ginger’s grasp to reach your arms out towards him. “come, come.” 
his heart thumps against his chest and he moves closer to bend down and give you a side hug. “what’s up?” 
“mm, nothin’,” you chime, tilting your head to the side, “just hangin’ out, right rennie?” 
rensuke nods, but his eyes are locked on oliver, clearly annoyed at the interruption. his arm finds it’s way around your waist, pulling you closer. 
as fast as you make oliver’s heart race, you’re just as quick to make it drop. it’s a nickname and nothing more, right? so why does it feel like he’s going to throw up? something that sounds sweet on your tongue feels sour on his. 
there’s something beyond the disdain that he hides behind his forced smile and if oliver's one thing, it’s petty. 
“aren’t you a little too drunk, y/n?” he asks, grabbing your arm before pulling you up, maybe it’s the irritation but he almost yanks you out of the ginger’s grip. 
it catches rensuke off guard as you stumble up and out of his lap. you’re shaky on your feet, but oliver’s there to replace not only kunigami but any thought inside your pretty head. 
if you weren’t so drunk you’d probably notice the hammering of his heart as you wrap your arms around his neck for stability. 
“carry me?” you slur and he nods, chest swelling with pride because tonight he won. 
“of course, wouldn’t want anyone takin’ advantage of you.” he smirks, leveling his gaze with kunigami. 
if he was being honest, he would probably lose if he got into a fight with him. yet, the sweet satisfaction that he can hold onto in this moment overtakes that thought. with your head on his shoulder, you start to doze off, missing the way kunigami stands with balled fists. 
“what do you think you’re doing, aiku?” he starts, before moving forward, but oliver steps back.   
“making sure y/n’s alright,” he says, “besides you were pretty touchy just now.” 
“cause she’s my date.” he states, starting to get irritated with how every step he takes forward oliver takes another back. 
“and she’s had too much to drink, right y/n?” you mumble something incoherent and oliver nods. “see?”
the air is tense. not only is oliver edging kunigami on but the group playing beer pong has noticed and quieted down. before things continue to escalate, karasu swings by, wrapping an arm around the wildcard’s shoulders. 
“oi, rensuke we need someone to fill in fer otoya.” he says, eyeing oliver as well. if only he could laugh at the irony. 
if it isn’t number one and number two. he thinks, recalling the amount of time he’s seen you, arms linked with karasu’s as you wander the halls to your next class. but three is the luckiest number, or so he’ll hope. and besides, hierarchies can always change.
rensuke’s quick to shrug the crow off, the scowl on his face ever present, but tabito doesn’t seem to mind. he’s too focused on the sleeping girl in oliver’s arms. 
“well, i don’t really feel like fighting today,” oliver continues, “so we’ll be on our way.” he walks off before the other two can get a word out, nodding to sendou who seems pleased to talk to someone about himself. 
there’s only the sound of the shoes on pavement as oliver walks you home. nestled in his arms, you sometimes perk up to mumble something incoherent or make a noise in his ear. he doesn’t mind, the campus is nice and quiet at night. 
“oliverr,” you slur out, “where are we goin?” 
“home, princess.” he answers, making sure to call you all the nicknames he wants. 
“your dorm?” you ask and he swears the red tips of his ears are from the cold. but it’s not cold at all, it’s the middle spring semester. 
“if you want?” he jokes, before quickly adding, “nah, yours.” he’s told himself before that if he waits it out, he’ll get to you. but it’s been a few months of this back and forth, where you feel so close yet so far. 
“we can’t go to my place!” you whine, “i forgot my key.” 
“and where’s your roommate?” he asks, stopping, because he’s realized another thing. he doesn’t even know where your dorm is. 
“at the party,” you pout, before pulling away and looking at him. “you’re cute, oliver. you should date her.” 
he gives a dry laugh, heart only semi-crushed. you think he’s cute. he’ll take it, especially when it’s beat accelerates further when you push his bangs back. 
“sweaty.” you note, before wiping at his brow. 
“hey,” he says, knowing that a blush has crept onto his cheeks, “stay on track here. where am i taking you tonight?” 
“your place.” you furrow your brow. “how many times do i have to say that?” 
“sorry! just making sure.” he says, shrugging before resuming the walk. it’s not too far off course, if there ever was a course to begin with. 
you settle back into place, head on his shoulder, and humming to yourself. oliver appreciates the music. 
“not gonna take my offer, eh?” you ask, breath tickling his neck. “she’s pretty, funny, but not as funny as me, remember that.” 
“i don’t think i’ve met her before, have i?” he asks, scanning his mind of recent memory. truth be told, he can’t recall you showing up with anyone that wasn’t a guy on the soccer team. 
“hm? you know everyone.” you counter. 
feigning innocence, he asks,“do i?” 
“maybe its because you’ve met soo many girls, you don’t remember her.” you retort and he winces inwardly at the disdain clear in your voice. 
“c’mon now,” he says, “i really don’t know that many.” 
you hum, “mm, i bet if i didn’t show up as often you wouldn’t remember me-” 
he’s quick to cut you off, “not true.” it’s too early to say he loves you, maybe infatuated is a better word. 
“if you say so,” you sigh, mind still buzzed and muddied. “are we there yet? i’m sleepy.” 
“just up the stairs,” he mutters, “feel free to fall asleep.” 
when the two of you arrive at the dorm, you’re fast asleep. he tries to move you onto the couch but you continue to cling, grumpy moans coming from you as he tries to pry you off. 
“you’ll kill me if you wake up in my bed,” he mutters, so he carries you off to sendou’s room. “here, it’s sen’s bed.” 
“don’t go, i need to cuddle with someone,” you mumble, words still slightly slurred, “til sen comes back at least.” 
he stills, knee sinking into the mattress, one hand on your back the other on the bed to steady himself. “you’re gonna kill me when you wake up.” he murmurs, but suddenly the perfume you’ve wearing smells really good. so does your hair and even the skin sticky with sweat is appealing. he wants to stay. 
“noo, i won’t,” you whisper, the scent of alcohol still heavy in your breath. “promise.” 
“…you want me to stay that badly?” he jokes, inwardly cursing at how easy you make him crumble. 
he swears his heart nearly stops when you giggle out a “yeah.” 
he settles in, maneuvering the two of you so that you’re laying on his chest. you fall back asleep quickly, nuzzling into him while your arm is splayed across him. 
it’s comfortable, he thinks, different from the other girls who get up and leave him after sex. not that he ever asks them to stay, actually preferring it when they leave. but he didn’t realize that someone could actually feel this good in his arms. 
“i think i’m actually falling in love,” he scoffs in disbelief, before throwing a palm up to his forehead, a grin plastered on his face. “goodnight, princess.” 
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he’s not surprised that you left before he woke up that morning. what’s actually surprising is how you seem to avoid him more lately afterwards. at least before you’d throw a few snarky remarks his way and listen to him talk for a bit before you’d inevitably wander back to your phone. 
it’s been about two weeks since that night and oliver’s got the message enough to leave you alone for most of the time you’re over. even when you come over for a movie night, he’ll try to keep his talks to you at a minimum. sometimes inviting over another teammate to fill up the awkward silences. 
even before the incident, he thought that maybe there’s a reason for it. a reason that he contemplates more one day as he watches you from the corner of his eye. there’s a reason why you’ll lay in sendou’s lap and not his, why you’ll hold hands with your other friends and not him, why they get meals while he gets scraps. 
he’s got it half right. there’s been too many texts from sendou asking how to get a crying girl out of his dorm, too often have there been “and that’s another one out the dorm,” calls. 
there’s a reason you keep him at arms length, why the most affection you’ll do is give him a quick hug. but he feels that you’re chipping down ever so slightly with each hang out, each party, and each “goodnight.” 
is that why tonight you don’t follow sendou to his room when he says goodnight? why you awkwardly fiddle with your hands, something he’s noticed you do when you’re nervous. he misses you and he feels a little more ambitious or perhaps insane for thinking that you might miss him too. 
he clears his throat, prompting you to peek at him from his side of the couch. “you goin’ to bed?” 
to his relief, you shake your head answering, “not yet, you?” 
“depends. you want company?” he asks, sliding over to where you’re sitting.
you giggle, something he hasn’t heard from his end in weeks, giving in to his little game. besides, no one else will text you back this late at night, “i don’t know, do i?” 
he grins, “i think so.” emboldened, he glides his hand underneath your blanket, before he presses his hand against your thigh. he waits a second to see if you’ll stop him, but you don’t.
his hand trails up until it’s dipping past the waistband of your shorts. he smirks when he feels the wet patch on your undies, “and here i thought you didn’t like me.” 
your breath hitches slightly, “what do you mean? i’m always nice to you.” 
“thats debatable.” he mumbles, slipping your panties aside to ghost his fingers up and down your slit. “especially lately, you don’t even wanna look at me.”as he’s about to sink a finger in, you jolt forward, grabbing his wrist. 
“wait!” you gasp, chest heaving. he stops, just like you ask, never having seen you so flustered before. 
“waiting.” he says, doing his best to not have his mind too muddied by the heaviness in his pants. 
“i don’t want to.. um, i don’t think we should fuck.” you stumble over your words, unable to take your eyes off his hand. 
he blinks, “okay.” he won’t push it. retreating, he tries to sit back, but you don’t remove the grip on his wrist. “uh, are you gonna-“ 
“we could… do other things though.” you mumble, but you release his hand and push it away anyway. “actually, nevermind.” 
he grins, finally getting it. “so you want me to finger you, is that it?” 
“do you have to put it that way?” you groan, laying back and covering your face with your hands. 
“finger fucking?” he jokes, but he’s slinking back forward, his hand traveling back to it’s rightful spot. 
you groan again, but not without spreading your legs for him and he smiles. 
“not gonna talk to me?” he continues, one thumb slowly stroking your cunt through the fabric of your panties. 
“do you want me to change my mind?” you answer, muffled by the sleeves of your hoodie. 
“please don’t,” he laughs, before tugging at your clothing. “can i?” 
you nod again and he’s quick to pull them off. it’s his turn to lose his breath, lost in how pretty your folds glisten for him. 
change of plans, he thinks as he levels himself down onto the bed. 
“oliver?” you call, peeking through your fingers again. 
“as long as we don’t fuck right?” he asks, licking his lips and you can read the anticipation clear on his face. but he’ll wait for you to say yes, like a dog on a leash.
you nod again, the both of your hearts hammering as you do and he dives in. he starts slow to savor it, his tongue moving with long languid strokes between your folds. 
he knew you’d taste good, but not this good. even better are the noises you make, well the ones you’re trying to hide. he glances up at you, your face contorted as you bite down on the sleeve of your jacket. a heavy blush creeps onto his face, you’re so pretty. 
you arch your back as he slides his tongue over your clit, bringing his fingers up to prod at your opening. he continues to work his tongue over your already swollen clit, suckling out mewls from your lips. when he sinks his fingers in, your jaw drops as you gasp out a “fuck!” 
covering your mouth again, you whimper as he picks up the pace. he wants to hear that pretty voice again, so he curls his digits up inside your gummy walls and to his delight, you sob out again. 
by now he’s realizing he actually has shit self control. pushing your clothing up, he pulls off your already swollen clit, readjusting himself as he starts to leave sloppy kisses up the expanse of your belly. 
“i wanna hear you, i wanna see you,” he mumbles, latching onto your neck and sucking in a mark. “besides, sendou’s asleep.” he actually has no clue if his best friend’s asleep, he’s just so high on you that he doesn’t care. 
“take me to your room then,” you whimper, conceding, breathless and squirming. he smiles against the crook of your neck before removing his fingers from your cunt. he picks you up fast, scooping you up as you tremble in his embrace. 
he practically sprints to his room, slamming the door shut before throwing you into his bed. you scramble to take the rest of your clothes off. he wanted to see, remember? 
you tug on his shirt, it’s only fair if you take your clothes off that he does too. “hey… take this off.” 
“i thought we weren’t fucking?” he laughs, but you raise a brow. 
“do we need to fuck if we’re naked?” you scoff, but in reality, you feel a bit too exposed. 
he grins, shrugging, “nah.” then he’s quick to take off his own before pushing you down. “let me finish eating, yeah?” 
you settle back, sighing out a breathless, “yeah.” 
with your legs spread so nicely, it’s easy for him to get back to work. he spreads your eager folds with his thumbs, admiring your pretty pussy before spitting down a lob of saliva. you jolt at the feeling, but he uses an arm to keep you still. he has work to do. his tongue begins lapping back at your folds before diving into your cunt, slurping at the arousal leaking onto his sheets. 
oliver’s not typically a giver, maybe having only given a couple times in all of hookups. but this was different, he could probably eat you out for hours if you could stay a twitching, mewling mess underneath. perhaps he was starving, growling as he pulls you in even closer and you find your hands in his hair. 
as his name leaves your lips like a chant, he continues to tongue fuck you, your slick trailing down his chin. your core burns as you grind onto him, chasing after your release, his stubble lightly scratching across your skin. 
he switches, latching back onto your clit with nimble fingers working their way inside you. “cum for me, baby.” he murmurs, curling his fingers up again just how you like it. “you’re so fucking good for me, you know that?” 
“s-shut up,” you sob, but the praise hits in all the right places as you arch your back. another indication that you like it is the harsher pull on his strands, a string of obscenities leaving your mouth.
“aw, i’m just tryna make you feel good,” he muses as he hears your first frustrated noise from pulling away. “close huh?” 
“oliver, please.” you whimper, brow furrowed as you gaze down at him. you’re so close, but just his fingers scissoring you isn’t enough. 
he tilts his head, “please what?” he asks, and you wonder when he got so fucking bold. “use your words.” maybe it’s the blood rushing straight to his head that’s got him out of sorts, but for the first time he’s got you where he wants you. he may be the one caged between your thighs, but you're the one that’s stuck in his web, begging for release. 
his fingers continuously moving in and out of you makes your eyelids flutter, especially when he picks up the pace. “i wanna cum, please,” you beg, “please, please, please.” 
he laughs out an “that wasn’t so hard right?”, before he’s back onto your bundle of nerves. he seeks out the friction of the bed for his own pleasure, his cock hard and heavy as he grinds out against the sheets.
right now though, the focus is on you. the focus is the way your thighs clench closer together, boxing him in, letting him know when what he does is good. it’s the way you greedily grind up into his face, tumbling his name off your lips like it’s the only thing you know how to say. 
you finally burst when oliver murmurs, “so fucking good for me,” his breath hot on your clit. he finger fucks you through your orgasm, continuously praising you, “good job, beautiful, that’s it.”
you pant, pushing at his hand when you’ve started to get overstimulated. he slips out, but pushes you back when you start to reach for his cock. you watch with doe eyes as he smears your slick across his cock, stroking himself. 
“keep your legs open.” he says, eyes lidded. “i won’t fuck you, don’t worry.” he reassures when he sees your eyes widen more. 
you comply, still slightly twitching from your orgasm, when he settles himself between your folds again. he’s not far off, not when he’s been drunk off the sound and taste of you. but the wetness between your folds has his head spinning. he slips so easily between them, he wishes he could just slide into you, but he’s good at keeping his promises.
he uses one hand to keep his cockhead pressed firmly against you. you think it’s messy, his hand covered in arousal, precum, and saliva but you’re both a little mesmerized by the scene. the two of you make eye contact and he breathes out, “you’re so beautiful.” 
“stop complimenting me,” you pout, before you’re pulling him down to rest his forehead against yours. “or else i’ll kill you.” 
“i thought you were gonna say you’d fall in love with me,” he muses, lips barely ghosting over yours as he continues to rut in between your folds. 
“in your dreams, oliver.” you murmur, but you tilt up and kiss him anyway. you taste yourself on him but can’t seem to care, as his tongue slips in to intertwine with yours. 
that’s enough to set him off, shuddering as he comes undone on your belly. white hot ropes paint your skin and you pull away, lips swollen. you fall back on the bed, the only sound the two of you panting. 
oliver lays down next to you, staring at the ceiling. he brings his hand up, staring at his sticky fingers covered in fluid. 
“gross,” you cringe and he peeks over at you. “clean me up?” 
“sure.” he’s quick to get up, grabbing a box of tissues by his bed. 
“all men are the same.” you groan, but there’s a smile dancing on your face. 
“yeah, this is the brand sendou and i prefer.” he jokes and you smack him playfully. he uses the tissues to clean his hand first before moving onto you, scooping up the remnants of what just happened. he pauses when he moves lower, looking at you. 
are we… anything? he wants to ask, but he bites his tongue when he notices you staring back. he cleans up the rest, before asking, “so, what now?” 
“i’m gonna shower, that’s what.” you say, pushing yourself up and grabbing your clothes. you don’t put them on, there’s no point since both the guys in this dorm have seen all of you. 
as you turn the knob to leave, he asks, “can i join you?”
you scoff, shooting him a look. “absolutely not.” 
he figured you’d say that. 
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it’s only 8pm on a saturday when sendou’s phone blows up. 
“sorry,” he says, reading the letters of your name across the screen. “i gotta take this.” 
it’s a rare night in, oliver’s own phone buzzing with “where are you?” texts from his friends. he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about you, the way you squirmed and moaned for him was enough to set him over. falling further into the sticky web of your hold. 
when sendou walks back in, the expression on his face is mixed with concern and confusion. 
“something happen?” oliver asks, pausing the movie. 
“uhh.. yeah i think so.” sendou answers, scratching the back of his neck. “i think y/n’s coming over.” 
there’s confusion washed over the brunette’s features. he’s not sure why this visit is so concerning, you’ve changed your mind before. saying no to movie night yet coming over unannounced anyway. 
sendou sighs, “don’t freak out when she gets here.” he’s not an idiot. he’s seen basically every spare glance that oliver’s thrown your way, the schedule modifications to come home more often to see you, the way his smile lingers on you when you do almost anything. he sees the way oliver deflates when you’re with someone else, it’s quick when it happens, almost uncatchable. 
“and why would i do that?” he’s joking, but the knot in his stomach is turning. what is it? you’re coming over to tell them all about your great fuckin’ date with rensuke? even after almost sleeping together, you still ran right back to kunigami when he called for you. 
sendou rolls his eyes, before repeating himself, “seriously. don’t.” 
oliver throws his arms up in surrender, “okay, okay.” 
when do you barge in you’re in the same hoodie you wore the night you came undone under oliver’s mouth. the nervous smile on his face falls when he hears you sniffling. when the two of you make eye contact, your puffy red-lines eyes looking into his, he feels something break. 
you blink, and then you blink again, as you try to fight back the tears that eagerly wish to spill. instinctively, you tug at the sleeves of your sweater trying to self-soothe yourself. you try to speak multiple times, only to stop and let out little huffs of air. it hurts too much. 
sendou speaks first, gently rubbing your back as he guides you over to the couch. “hey… take some deep breaths.” you shake your head, balling your hands into fists as you continue to cry. 
“want me to leave?” oliver asks, as much as he doesn’t want to, he knows you’re more comfortable when he’s not around. to both his and sendou’s surprise, you shake your head again, reaching out to him with trembling hands. 
he sits closer and you lean down to lay in his lap, “l-let me cry here.” you mumble, grabbing his hand and placing it on the top of your head. “rub my head.” 
oliver can’t help but laugh a little bit, “sure.” he nods over to sendou, whose eyes could possibly launch from their sockets. “hey, you heard her, rub her back.” 
“pretty sure she said ‘head’” he retorts, but starts doing it anyway. while sendou’s eyes wander the room, sometimes glancing at the remote wondering if he should start the movie back up; oliver’s are glued on you. 
he cards through your hair, eyes soft on your hiccuping form. he thinks you feel like his girlfriend, maybe if someone else saw, you’d look like it too. maybe he’ll ask sendou later. it’s a few more moments of your sniffling before you finally speak. 
“do you guys think i’m stupid?” you ask, reaching out for the remote and turning whatever movie they had playing on. 
“sometimes, yeah,” sendou answers and both you and oliver are quick to smack him. “ow! i thought you wanted the truth? and why the hell are you hitting me?!” he exclaims, one finger pointed towards the brunette. 
oliver shrugs, “because you said something stupid?” 
“i agree,” you sniffle, but there’s the smallest hint of a smile on your face. “you’re supposed to lie, idiot.” 
“if i lie will you tell us what happened?” he asks, leaning back against the armrest. 
“don’t even have to lie, i’ll just tell you.” you sigh, lowering the volume down on the tv. you start to tap on oliver’s knee since you’re nervous, but he continues to play with your hair. 
“so you know how rensuke and i were… thinking of being something?” you start. you feel oliver’s hand pause when you say that, but he starts back up again. “anyway, he called it off today. he gave me an ultimatum that i didn’t wanna take.” 
“which was?” sen asks, brow raised. 
“i couldn’t see you two anymore.” you answer, “like i wouldn’t choose my best friends?” 
“since when is oliver your best friend?” sendou asks, perplexed. 
since she came on my face in my bedroom, he muses, but you answer with a “since i decided.” 
“are you guys doing shit behind my back?” the redhead asks and the two of you look at each other. 
“no,” you say, face heating up as you stare into pretty dual tone eyes, “we don’t do anything.” 
not only is the blush on his face clearly visible, but so is the smirk. “not a thing,” he agrees. “if anything, we just… chill.” 
you mouth out an “oliver!” but he shrugs, before using his thumb to wipe at the remnants of tears on your cheek. if you weren’t trying to hide from the current accusations, you’d probably just keen up into his touch. 
“i don’t wanna know.” sendou groans, breaking the two of you out of trance. he gets up, turning the tv off and flickering his gaze towards you. “sleeping in my room tonight?” 
you swallow, before nodding again, finally tearing your gaze away from oliver. “yeah, i’ll be there in a sec.” 
you sit up as sendou leaves, the click of his door indicating when the two of you are alone. you feel vulnerable. you pull your knees up, hugging them, before you start to talk. 
“i really liked him, y’know?” you mumble, “but i never really got the same vibe back.” 
oliver’s silent, arms crossed and head thrown back as he stares up at the ceiling. he doesn’t particularly care to hear just how much you liked rensuke, but he’s not about to leave now. 
you continue, “i think he wanted someone to blow off steam with, which isn’t bad, but… i wanted him to actually like me. like-like me, not just to be thrown away later on. i thought he could be my first real boyfriend.” 
“why are you telling me this?” he asks, trying to keep his tone neutral. “wouldn’t you rather tell sen?” 
you shake your head, looking back at him slightly. “no, i like talking to you more. about this stuff anyway, you seem to actually listen to me. sen’s not bad, but i dunno, he doesn’t really give me sound advice.” 
“what’d he tell you to do last time?” he asks, semi-agreeing already that sendou really isn’t the best advice giver.
“sleep with karasu.” you deadpan, inwardly cringing at how awkward that interaction was. 
“and did you?” he asks, voice a little ptiched. 
“no! everyone thinks so, but no.” you failed, thankfully, unable to actually go through with it. but you made a friend with tabito, one that listens to your ramblings when you visit. 
oliver sits up a little and you snap your head back forward, embarrassment eating at you. “did you two… do anything?” he’s started to realize something. 
you shake your head again, hoping he doesn’t notice how feeble you feel. but he can’t notice that because he feels like he’s on cloud nine. “have you slept with anyone?” he asks, heart pounding. 
what comes up must always come down and to his dismay, you nod, mumbling out a name that leaves him slaw jacked. “sendou. like, twice…. why am i sharing this information with you?”
“seriously? sendou?” he’s not sure whether this means that his friendship has ended, but it does maybe make some sense that you’re so comfortable around him. beyond best friends, anyway. 
you spin around, “listen! it was when we had just graduated high school. we’d never slept with anyone before .. so, seriously, why am i telling you this?!” 
he won’t lie, the panicked look on your face is cute, so much so that he’s a little less pissed off. “okay, okay. i get it,” he says, placing a hand on your shoulder. “you don’t have to tell me anything else.” 
sometimes, you don’t understand how oliver can be so sweet, but you sure are grateful for it. you smile at him and his heart melts a little. it’s so much better when you aren’t crying. 
he pats your head before getting up. 
“oliver?” you call, but he smiles at you and it’s your turn to feel your heart flutter. 
“you should get some sleep,” he says, “it’s late. you want water before you go though?” padding over to the kitchen to fix you a glass of water. 
you nod, “mhm.” before getting up yourself and following after him. he hands you the glass and he thinks it’s strange. the first time you stood in this kitchen, you didn’t even look his way. but now, you look at him clearly. sure, it’s not the ideal situation and you are leaving to go sleep in another guy’s bed, but it’s enough. 
one step closer to you is worth it. it shouldn’t be long now, he thinks, you’ll be his in due time. but he doesn’t notice the confusion on your face when you grab the glass. the moment your fingers touch you feel it too, that all familiar pull, the one you were trying (and failing) to avoid. you duck away when you move towards sendou’s room, hoping he can’t hear the way your heart pounds within your chest.
it can’t be him.
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“that fucking stings!” oliver hisses, instinctively pulling away from you. 
you frown, “i don’t know why you went to me and not like, the campus nurse or a hospital.” you recenter his face, gripping his chin between your index finger and thumb. 
“why would i go there when i’ve got my guardian angel here?” he teases before wincing again as you press the cloth to his busted lip. 
“i’ve got to stop the bleeding,” you mumble, ignoring his comment. oliver thinks you look so cute when concern paints your face, he’d kiss you if you let him, despite his lip. “i still can’t believe you did that.” 
“did what?” he asks.
“get your ass beat,” you snort, removing the pressure from his lip before handing him an ice pack. “here.” 
“he made you cry, like i wasn’t gonna beat his ass?” he counters, correcting you and if he could pout, he would. 
“oliver. that was weeks ago, no one asked you to do something so stupid,” you sigh, swiveling around to look for bandages. “there was no point.”
“no one asked you to date stupid guys,” he retorts, but man does it hurt. more than his lip or his bruised cheek, the fact that no matter what you won’t look at him the same way you do others. 
“i just don’t get why you’d do something so dumb.” you say, closing the medicine cabinet while holding a box of band aids. you’re so nonchalant about it it’s infuriating. why don’t you get it? 
he blinks, before scoffing, “what am i to you?” 
“you’re… oliver.” you say, tensing, suddenly not liking the direction this conversation is going. 
“that’s it?” he almost can’t believe it, that after everything, he’s just still oliver. 
“what do you want me to say?” you sigh, voice coming out a little irritated. you’ve never done well with confrontation, especially not when it comes to feelings like this. 
he sets the ice pack down before continuing, “that i’m important to you, more than just some dude you string along for fun.” 
“what are you even talking about?” you exasperate, because really, what does he want? he knows you two aren’t anything, nothing more than friends and yet he tries so hard. so hard it makes your head spin, so hard it makes you sometimes doubt your own judgment on him. but you refuse, you’ll continue to listen to that little voice that tells you: no. not him. 
“for fucks sake, can’t you pick me just one time?!” he yells, slamming his hand on the counter and you jump back, “not karasu, not sendou, not fucking kunigami. don’t run to them. run to me. can’t it be me?” 
“y-you’re crying,” you deflect, trying to look anywhere but him because if you look at him, you’ll want to hold him. you’ll want to give him, tell him that maybe you two could try to be something. you don’t even argue that kunigami isn’t an option anymore. 
“i don’t fucking care.” 
“and i don’t know what to say.” you answer, eyes glued on the box in your hands. 
“just say the word and i’ll be yours. fully and wholly, i’ll give you everything.” he says firmly. 
but you stay quiet, awkwardly fidgeting with the box in your hands. 
“…please?” it comes out soft, whispery, and most of all desperate. a plea that comes from deep within because at the end of it all, he loves you. 
but there’s nothing from you, it’s radio silence. it’s the quietness after midnight on a tuesday when the rest of campus is deep asleep. it’s nothing. and for a brief moment, he’ll accept it, because it’s harder for him to sit in this continued rejection. he’ll accept that right now, you don’t want him. 
he gets up, pushing past you not even bothering to wipe the tears that trail down his cheeks. and he thinks, maybe even a small bit of him prays, that you’ll stop him. 
but you don’t, staring at the tiled floor as he leaves, and oliver feels his heart shatter into tiny glass pieces. should he still hold onto “maybe”? maybe someday you’ll want him too? maybe someday you’ll be his exclusively? or should he give up, call it a day, and speed dial one of the girls in his phone?
he doesn’t know.
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sinsmockingbird · 7 months
Note
Aight, dis the (F!)MC family with (Yandere!)Yukong request (more like a ramble I guess which you can feel free to adapt to a request/fic as you want) :3
What do you think their children would look like? They'd probably have floofy hairs/tails like Yukong (Foxian/Kitsune genetics I've always thought are probs very strong), and they'd probably grow up very spoiled, by Qingni, who'd I'd imagine would be a great older sister, and by the Astral Express whenever they visit.
I can't help but feel like there'd be some friction there between Yukong and the crew, since the crew might feel something is off about Yukong being overly protective, alongside with Stelle's sudden decision to stay on the Luofu, and Yukong is afraid they might try to take Stelle with them.
I also wonder how Qingni would react to the whole situation in the first place. While she'd probably be very happy to see her mother happy, and to have younger siblings, she might also find Stelle's sudden decision to stay a bit weird (not that'd she'd comment on it).
If Stelle and Qingni grow close during Stelle's stay on the Luofu, I could totally see Yukong using that to further try to convince Stelle to stay, pointing out how they make such a lovely family the three of them together. Something along the lines of, It'd be a shame to throw it all away to go explore, and maybe never get to come back to see them. Who knows, maybe we could give Qingni some younger siblings? She did always want some as a child. Surely it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if you somehow ended up pregnant, right?
Sorry for the mess of ideas that this was oeidfvgjherhfgu I had a lot of thoughts after the fic that you made (which I may or may not have read lots of times already). Please feel free to only adapt parts of it/segment it, I can always send other requests in the future with the other sections if they don't mesh well together/get too long if you don't mind.
"PROTECTING" PT.2 | Yukong
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PAIRING: Yukong x Afab!Reader
WARNINGS: Fluff, SFW, Slight NSFW, Yandere!Yukong, Manipulation, Alludes to smut & breeding.
AUTHORS NOTE: I love these little rambles and ideas. I tried to include as many of these as possible, and I'd love to hear any more ideas you have!
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WHEN YOUR daughter was first born, she was a perfect mix of you and Yukong, with a fluffy tail and ears being the prominent foxian genes in her. She was immediately spoiled and loved by not only you two but the Astral Express as well. She was quickly welcomed into the family, dotted on by someone almost 24/7.
Welt was quickly deemed her Godfather, and was seen as her grandpa considering the fatherly relationship he had with you. Himeko was her Godmother, and she honestly almost cried when you asked her if she'd like to.
Dan Heng was surprisingly protective over her, despite not really knowing... how to treat her, yet he wouldn't dare let someone harm her, like a protective older brother. March 7th was, as expected, absolutely in love with her, declaring her the cool aunt who buys her so much toys, stuffies, clothes- you name it, March will get it.
Qingni was... interesting. She absolutely loved her little sister when she was born, always quick to care and play with her when she got the chance. She'd do anything for her, spoiling her with all sorts of things just like March.
Yet, despite being happy to have a little sister, Qingni couldn't help the weird feeling she had in her chest. Your sudden decision to stay on the Luofu was certainly... sudden, to say the least, and especially how quickly your relationship with her mother grew. While she was happy for Yukong to have found someone to love, she just found it all weird, but she didn't comment on anything, rather just enjoying the fact she has a younger sibling.
Plus, Qingni found herself getting close to you as well. She was really beginning to see you as another mother, despite not calling you mom yet. Which you didn't mind, you were simply happy to have a good relationship with her.
"You and Qingni seem to be getting along fine." Yukong mused as she moved to hug you from behind, nuzzling her face into your neck.
You laugh softly at her affectionate actions, watching as Qingni entertained her baby sister. "I'd like to think so."
"Trust me, she likes you." Yukong reassured, pressing a gentle kiss against your temple before laying her head on your shoulder. "We make quite a lovely family, don't we? Us four."
You thought for a moment, watching as Qingni stopped her sister from chewing on her tail. "Yeah... yeah we do."
Yukong lifted her head, eyeing you for a moment, seeing the way your eyebrows were furrowed together, sensing that something wasn't right. "Is there something wrong, my love?"
"Hm?" You look at her, before quickly shaking your head, then pausing as you thought for a moment. "Nothings wrong, perse... sorry, I'm just having thoughts about missing the Astral Express."
That made worry strike Yukong like a strike of lightning hitting a tree. It wasn't uncommon for you to find yourself having thoughts of the Astral Express crew as well as missing that adventure with them. It scared the old foxian like no other, because she's tried everything to get you to stay here on the Xianzhou with her.
Her ears pulled back against her head, tail swishing back and forth more behind her. She held a hard look on her face when you looked back to gaze at your daughter and Qingni, and Yukong realized what she had to do again to ensure you would stay here with her.
You let out a sudden gasp as you felt Yukong press her front flush against your back, pressing you against the counter you were both standing behind. You quickly gripped the edge of it, eyes widening and face flushing as you felt her press her face into your neck, inhaling your scent while kissing and nipping at your skin.
"Y-Yukong, the girls!" You quickly whispered it with panic, eyes wide as you watched your guys daughters, praying they didn't look over to see one of their mothers pressed so intimately against the other.
"We're fine, they're too distracted by one another," Yukong reassured, her voice low and sultry as she kissed your neck more.
You whimpered softly, before biting your lip to hold back your sounds, not wanting to alert Qingni. You bowed your head slightly, breathing heavy as you felt Yukong grinding her hips against you from behind, letting you feel her growing bulge under her clothes. Her sudden need for you caught you off guard, but you definitely weren't complaining.
"My love, let's go to our room. The girls will be alright by themselves for an hour or so," Yukong murmured, moving to suck on your ear lobe, nibbling on it and making your face flush more.
"J-Just an hour..?" You ask, tilting your head slightly back towards her.
"Just an hour," Yukong repeated, but she had other plans. She was going to keep you locked in your room for however long she wanted, thoroughly breeding you again.
Because there's no way you'd leave the Xianzhou, leave her, if you have a second, maybe third or forth child, right? You wouldn't dare do that to her.
She was going to make sure you'd never leaver.
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ENDING NOTES: Sorry this is short! I wanted to keep this part mostly SFW. But I'll maybe do a part 3 if it's asked for.
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truly-sincerely · 2 months
Text
IS GORTASH ENTHRALLED?
(tl;dr: yes)
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In this essay I will…
Okay, but seriously I did write an essay.
I got here after chasing a very different rabbit down its hole. I'd noticed that Gortash seems to have been throwing out a lot of his stuff (read: mostly employees).
Waldemar Prinski, a loyal banite, sold to a devil for a corn chip
Dark Breaker Antiope, sahuagin wrangler, A Negotiation
The Steel Watch Foundry, Orders to Black Gauntlet Rives
Scribe Yanthus, my beloved, sent on a wild bhaal chase
Vance Farnol, journalist, tho you could argue he had it coming
Goblin Worg handler at Flymm Cargo, plus the Worgs when they run out of Goblin to eat
And, of course, everyone at his Coronation
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Was killing all of the patriars and their staff a grim necessity, Enver? Was it?
(Also, he's installed a giant portrait of Bane and a bust of Bane in the penthouse, but he doesn't have a single picture of himself, or any mirrors, for that matter. Food for thought.)
My initial diagnosis was macabre, but obviously I’ve moved away from that line of thinking. He's just way too happy to brag about how much danger he's put himself, us, and the entire world in. It freaked me out the first time I met him (as a Tav). Like I see him glancing at the ground and smiling coyly while saying, "If we're lucky, we'll become slaves," on the back of my eyelids when I go to bed at night.
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For the love of all that is holy, could you please turn it down a notch?
I've been obsessed with The Ultimate State since I first read it. It's absolutely absurd nonsense. The item description says it's, "the philosophical ramblings of Enver Gortash." and I feel like it's worth noting that he doesn't write his own propaganda; he has the banites do it for him. But I mean, it really does read like he's twisting himself in knots to connect "unity" and "progress" together, but babe, those jigsaw pieces do not go together like that. Anyway, while thinking about this subject it dawned on me:
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They're the same picture.
You know what other line of thinking these two have in common?
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They both look so sad when they say this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I abandoned you.
I know we all love to joke about Durge or Gortash feeding the Brain the "Handsome, Younger Man" line, but what if that was just a smokescreen and it's been the other way around this whole time?
Netherbrain: You think you know why you are here. You think you can atone for giving me my power, child of Bhaal, by destroying me with the Netherstones. You are wrong. The Emperor: It’s messing with your mind. Don’t listen to it. Use the stones. Netherbrain: By eliminating Ketheric and Orin, you have simply unbound me. Exactly as I intended. The Crown is now mine to command - mine alone. The Emperor: Don’t listen to it! Focus on the Crown! Netherbrain: You placed the Crown upon me in the depths of Moonrise Towers, and there I was born. The Crown is not my weakness - it is what made me what I am. Gortash: You are delusional - the Crown is how we controlled you! Netherbrain: I respected Bhaal’s child once, but not you, Gortash. I allowed you to control me as long as it suited my purposes. You have played your part. The next order to be given is mine and it is this - die. Gortash: (crumples like a piece of parchment) Netherbrain: When the parasite entered your ruined mind - you became a pawn in my design. Who do you think told the Chosen about the Astral Prism? Who do you think planted the knowledge of Orpheus’ power, and the fear of what it could do? When the Chosen sent my thralls to retrieve the Prism - who do you think let the ‘Emperor’ slip its leash, knowing it would be the one to bring you to me? The Emperor: We were part of its plan… Netherbrain: I only needed one Netherstone loosened from the Chosen’s grasp to guarantee my freedom. You brought all three back to me. In doing so, you have liberated me. This was your role - and it is complete. Now you will witness the Grand Design.
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The face of a man who has 20 INT and 16 WIS and is definitely not the brainwashed pawn of a giant brain that's been manipulating him in his sleep.
You think his puny +7 WIS save is gonna beat the Netherbrain when it's been working on his ass every time he goes to sleep for the last nine months? I say thee nay.
Also, and this is probably oversharing, but my dad, who I used to think of as a really smart guy is now a huge Trump supporter. He's an atheist but he'll parrot conservative christian talking points that I've seen clipped from Nazi talking heads. The words that come out of his mouth and the way he smiles when he says completely insane things is haunting.
What all of this means at the end of the day isn't much in the grand scheme of things, but it's kind of sad, and it definitely says something about his characterization. This man is floundering in a soup of his own making. A tragic puppet. A poor little meow meow.
There's an interesting line of demarcation between the various writings that he dictated to Scribe Yanthus, the things he wrote himself, and the things he says to us in the game.
Elder Brain Domination (from Ketheric, but about Gortash)
Suspended Ceremorphosis
The Grand Design
Studies of the Elder Brains
Accelerated Grand Design
Memoir Notes With Recent Addenda
Journal of Enver Gortash
He's so much more motivated and insightful early on, epitomized in Ketheric's entry, "Gortash fears that, energised by the dark energies of the Crown, the brain we now call the Absolute will eventually metamorphose into something new and more difficult to control." And he was right! But that guy's nowhere to be found by the time we meet him.
This one makes me particularly sad, "No weakness but the unexpected. It seems I shall need unexpected allies," because, again, he's right, and we could've saved him if the game had given us the opportunity to say, "No, there is another way. Let's not walk into this obvious trap." He wrote us a roadmap; left a trail of breadcrumbs; and we weren't given the option to follow them.
But I guess that's what fixfics are for.
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TAVtalk!
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