#so so funny how batman and barry were in this movie and their respective superhero partners never interacted w them once

[danothan]

watching tlm after getting into dc was a rly bad idea actually, i got so happy it went right back to feeling bad. zoomies with no outlet. why was hal like that

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[that-shamrock-vibe]

TV Review: The Flash (Spoilers)

Season 5, Episode 9: Elseworlds - Part 1

Spoiler Warning: I am posting this review the day the episode becomes available to stream online so if you haven’t seen it yet or are waiting for the entire crossover to air before watching then don’t read on until you have done that.

Overview:

I cannot tell you how much I got a kick out of this episode. I have not done any TV reviews for a while because of my university commitments but I did partially review Crisis on Earth-X last year and wanted to review this crossover because of what is promised but also because it’s the big superhero event on the small screen. I love an elseworlds story in any genre and show/movie that I watch, I love it when they do parallel worlds and alternate realities, I love it when they have dream worlds and any situation or story where the characters we know and love are portrayed differently. This wasn’t exactly that, but it was still so good. I loved the comedy, the Easter Eggs, the callbacks to previous seasons and the change in dynamic, but also I LOVED the new additions to the Arrowverse and will be talking about them down below.

Freaky Sunday:

So I was going to call this a Freaky Friday before thinking it would be funnier to say Freaky Monday but then realized this episode would have aired yesterday so am calling it a Freaky Sunday. Anyway the movie I am parodying is referenced by Barry because of the situation that he and Oliver find themselves in at the start of this episode.

At the very start of this episode we have that same clip that played at the end of Supergirl, Arrow and The Flash last week, so this is now the fourth time I saw it, which shows John Wesley Shipp’s Flash who he portrayed nearly 30 years ago struggling over a warzone of Easter-Eggs, I mean dead heroes, and speeding away from a weird man with a destiny changing book. This man is called The Monitor and I will talk about him when he is focused on more.

Fortunately this isn’t all of the opening scene otherwise I would have been very annoyed and the rest is Oliver waking up in Barry’s bed with Barry’s wife Iris calling him for breakfast. Oliver is now Barry Allen and has his life including speed, wife, friends and most likely job. The interesting thing is even though this an obvious re-written reality, the same storylines that have been happening in all seasons are still going on. So Oliver has just got out of prison, joined the SCPD as a vigilante and now finds himself as Barry Allen the Scarlet Speedster of Central City. It was funny watching him grasp this realization and to be fair to Stephen Amell he does allow himself to have some much needed fun this episode after all the doom and gloom he has been through this season.

However, because he’s new to the speedster game, he almost screws up in thwarting a robbery attack on Ivo Laboratories. Whether or not this new reality created Ivo Laboratories in Central City or not isn’t confirmed but this is a place that has never been mentioned in previous episodes.

Regardless, despite giving the wrong vigilante line before stopping the bad guys, he does stop them with an impressive trick shot of his lightning throw. How he knew how to do that without guidance is a mystery but I digress. Also for any comic-book fan that knows Ivo is a reference to Professor Anthony Ivo, they’ll know the robot Oliver’s lightning bolt accidentally hits.

But then we arrive at S.T.A.R. Labs, which has not changed, and Oliver is scanned for abnormalities I’m presuming because his takedown of the bad guys was unlike Barry’s normal quality, yet to all the brilliant minds in that room, as well as Iris and Ralph, no one can deduce that Oliver is not Barry. Oliver and Barry are the only two on their Earth that seem to not have had their memories affected by this altered reality...so naturally Oliver goes to find Barry to try and make sense of the situation.

We then cut to Star City and Barry seems to have woken up in the middle of a sparring match with Diggle at ARGUS. I have to say, I am slightly confused about John’s position at ARGUS, I know Lyla is the director but does that make John the Deputy or Acting Director as Lyla never really seems to be there?

Anyway, Dig thinks Barry is Oliver and Barry knows he is Barry but when he discovers his body has been changed by this altered reality due to his tattoos, he too suspects something is up. However there isn’t time to contemplate this fully like Oliver did because he is told to suit up as Green Arrow is needed on an ARGUS mission...Green Arrow who was almost arrested last week for being an active vigilante before joining the police force as their agent is suddenly allowed to join ARGUS in a mission...logic!

As with Oliver, Barry takes to his new vigilante fighting skills rather well, possibly because the basis of vigilantism is training in fighting and coordination, but after subduing the threat he and Diggle are sped away by Oliver. Diggle throwing up after speeding is still funny but just seems like it is in there as a cheap Easter Egg.

Somehow ditching Diggle, Oliver and Barry go to the disused Arrowcave which made a return last week and while Oliver has his serious face on trying to understand their current predicament, Barry is weightlifting up that old bar pole that my sister used to get a kick out of every time Oliver used it...Barry has used that pole before and with super speed so has done it better than how he is doing it now so why he was so happy with it I don’t know.

I did like how Oliver was trying to get Barry to be serious because it is very telling of the tone the two shows have. Arrow has always been rather dark and like a Batman story whereas The Flash has always been more like a Marvel Movie or Superman pre-DCEU. However on this point I have to say I was on Oliver’s side because the situation is these two are currently not themselves and Oliver wants his life back, funnily enough after Oliver lets slip he woke up with Iris that morning Barry gets his serious face on.

This early mid-section of the episode is where I lose a lot of respect for Team Flash because they know of the multiverse, time travel and Flashpoint yet they don’t quite grasp the fact that maybe something happened to change reality so that Barry is now Oliver and Oliver is now Barry...none of them, you have a biochemist, a mechanical engineer, two detectives and a journalist yet no one has the perception to even conceive that what two people they know rather well is telling them is a possibility?

Also, when this is all over and fixed and Oliver is Oliver and Barry is Barry, Iris needs to sit down with Oliver and talk out their differences because I did not know Iris had this much dislike for Oliver. I can’t even call it dislike because she must like him on some level, I mean she openly admitted to fancying either him as Oliver or the Green Arrow during the Invasion! crossover but here, because of what has happened to Oliver recently, she cannot seem to get her head around loving Barry as Oliver because the Oliver she knows who in actual reality is at this point her Barry is a man of pain and vengeance. I do like how this is picked up with the two guys later but I’m getting ahead of myself. Iris needs to sort herself out.

Because of Iris distrusting this situation she drugs the man she supposedly loves while Ralph knocks out the man he believes is Oliver and they are locked in a cell in the Pipeline. I love the fact that because they’re not really catching Metahumans of the week anymore these crossovers are really the only time we see the inside of these cells.

I love how Barry and Oliver interact in this episode and the prison scene is one of my favourites because they have to play to each-other’s strengths due to the fact they have each-other’s abilities. Barry dislocating his thumb was hilarious not just because of how it looked but also because Oliver was so blahzay in telling him to do it just like it was a walk in the park. “Just break your thumb, your body has been conditioned by Anatoly in this reality so you can do it”. Also Oliver’s reaction to actually seeing a broken thumb was slightly bizarre because surely he would have seen his own thumb before. Oliver phasing through the door was slightly overkill because he hasn’t found the breaks on his speed yet, also why was everyone so confused by phasing in this episode? It’s a cool power to have, it can get you out of prison cells, or stop a plane from crashing into buildings. One thing I didn’t understand is Barry said the cell was designed to dampen powers so how was Oliver able to phase?

Anyway regardless of continuity errors they escape and plan to use the only interdimensional extrapolater they have left, despite Sherloque breaking it I’m guessing they fixed it, to go to Earth Thirty-Eight to get Kara’s help. Iris apparently predicts this and beats them to getting the extrapolater...incase anyone isn’t paying attention I don’t like Iris in this episode, I don’t know why but something about her just seems off.

Barry however finally manages to get through to his wife by recalling a memory only they would know and finishing it off by calling her his lightning rod, which he told Oliver to call her and he called stupid, and agree I agree with him. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for sentiment but I never understood the lightning rod metaphor. I guess it’s how lightning conducts to the rod as an analogy for how Barry would always return to Iris but it just never sat right with me. It does with Iris though and she gives Barry the extrapolater and they go to Earth-38.

I laughed with joy at this moment and this scene because entering Earth-38 the episode has Remy Zero’s “Save Me”, also known as the Smallville theme song playing over it. Anyone who keeps up to date with behind the scenes gossip knows they were using the Kent Farm from Smallville as the Kent Farm for Earth-38′s Smallville but with the theme song playing and I think even the tractor is the same. Although on Riverdale last week they also used the Kent Farm in another capacity so maybe the CW, which broadcasts all the DC shows and Riverdale like that set, I know I do. It’s such a feel-good nostalgia trip seeing it. Also that song, I just love it!

We are reacquanted with Tyler Hoechlin as Clark Kent and, despite not appearing in Season 3 of Supergirl he did easily slide back into the role. I mentioned in my first reaction to seeing Tyler Hoechlin as Superman that I was won over by the acting and look just the choices taken by costuming threw me. Here we see more of Clark Kent then we do Superman and for me it works. However my biggest issue right now is if they are trying to make out as if this Superman is the same one we saw the origin story for during Smallville played there by Tom Welling. With the theme song playing and the same farm being used it does seem that way. I would be very happy if ti wasn’t as that would obviously mean this Supergirl is the same that Laura Vandervoot portrayed and her Kara was more evolved as a superhero than this Kara.

Also, we meet this Earth’s Lois Lane, portrayed by Elizabeth Tulloch. I like her as Lois Lane, I think she has the same level of drive and bite as Erica Durance and Teri Hatcher did in the role and isn’t as wet and dull as Amy Adams. Interestingly enough when it comes to Superman mythos, the small screen seems to get right what the movies get wrong.

Kara is visiting her cousin after being fired from the D.E.O. and is debating whether or not she should have revealed her identity to Clark looking I guess for justification in her decision, Clark obviously tells her she did the right thing because secret identities are there to keep loved ones safe and that is obviously the right thing to do.

Barry and Oliver arrive giving Lois a fright but it seems whatever alternate reality was put in place only affected Earth-1 because Kara still knows them as themselves. Barry and Oliver are formally introduced to Superman at both are a little bit starstruck but handle it in different ways fitting their characters.

Then when it comes to Barry and Oliver training as each other, Barry has to target practice while Oliver runs at him being a moving target.

The only issue with this setup is while is it is done to make an excellent callback to when Oliver trained Barry, Oliver still thinks he is training Barry here and gets very offended when Barry doesn’t take playing him seriously.

Lois is great in this scene as the impartial spectator and calls it how she sees it calling Oliver a dick. Hilarious.

Barry and Oliver then have a heart-to-heart and discover that in order to be each-other they need to embody what makes each other work as vigilantes, Barry is very light-hearted and positive whereas Oliver is very grounded and serious. So for Barry to be the Green Arrow effectively he needs to be grounded and serious while Oliver being The Flash needs to be upbeat. As I said before I love the meta referencing of how the two shows and characters are so different from each other yet exist in the same space, then Kara comes along who is a bit of both, it’s the trinity right here. DC’s original Trinity of Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman has been made DOA thanks to the movies so the small-screen has a new trinity of Green Arrow, Flash and Supergirl.

Cisco arrives and tells the group that they need to come back to stop A.M.A.Z.O. and both Kara and Clark tag along for the ride, with Cisco finally meeting Superman.

Ambushing A.M.A.Z.O:

Back on Earth-1 and sure enough A.M.A.Z.O. makes his debut as these crossover events need badly CG’d robots in them. A.M.A.Z.O. as his comic-book counterpart does, is a robot who mimics powers so as he battles he just gets stronger. Here this is done through displaying symbols of each person mimicked on his chest...the only issue with this is while I understand Killer Frost’s symbol I do not get Vibe’s.

After having their asses handed to them, Cisco decides they need Oliver and Barry, but Iris says she let them go due to believing their story and Cisco goes along with it going to Earth-38 to get them. Whether or not the extrapolator knew where Kara was and so ported Oliver and Barry there is one thing but how did Cisco know where they were? I guess he vibed them but it is never shown.

After returning with Barry, Oliver, Kara and Clark what follows is an amazing battle and it’s only the first part of the crossover. Okay yes the CG on A.M.A.Z.O. is shoddy but so was the CG on Red Tornado and Metallo last year, here the focus is really on Barry and Oliver working as Green Arrow and Flash respectively.

They figure out a plan that includes the Super-Cousins as they are used essentially as battering rams to hold A.M.A.Z.O. in place, I am just thrilled to finally see at least 2 members of the original Justice League working side-by-side, I know Martian Manhunter is coming up most likely in the Supergirl part so I cannot wait for that.

Team Flash acquire a virus that would destroy A.M.A.Z.O. because turning him off manually has been made impossible. In order to install the virus, Barry had to shoot the virus at A.M.A.Z.O. but to make sure he couldn’t phase it through, Oliver had to counteract his phasing. So you had Barry waiting for the right shot while the other three held him in place. They succeed and, after a familiar line from the Green Arrow, A.M.A.Z.O. is no more.

Future Repercussions:

This part got me excited, this was Iris, coming round to the idea that Barry is actually Barry, and warning him not to turn into Oliver. Again the girl has some sort of issue with Oliver being dark and miserable all the time and while Barry is playing Green Arrow for the moment, doesn’t want him to become Oliver.

This got me thinking, what if the events of this crossover have a lasting effect on the future of the Arrowverse? What if by learning how to be each other’s vigilante personas, both Barry and Oliver are changed when they return to their respective personas? I would love this crossover to make that possible as I feel it would make both series’ more compelling going forward.

Preluding the Bat:

So at the end of the episode, Cisco mentions a scattered vibe he had earlier in the episode of this mysterious figure who we know as The Monitor. Again I won’t go into much detail here because we are not given much as is but the vibe shows him with this lecturer John Deagan who he gave this all powerful reality writing book to and caused the events of this crossover.

While no one else really knows who the men are, Oliver spotted a key fact as to where they are, a Wayne Enterprises building...tomorrow’s Part 2 episode will bring about Gotham City and more importantly Batwoman who is seen atop a rooftop from a far distance but it is definitely her. I cannot wait!

Easter-Eggs:

So many Easter-Eggs and this is only episode 1. We see a barrage of dead heroes in that opening scene, these include Captain Cold, either Jesse Quick or Speedy, Hawkman and Hawkgirl, The Ray and a Green Arrow who is in the Green Arrow suit used in Smallville.

Smallville is an Easter-Egg cache of itself here due to that cameo plus the theme song and the farm all being used, most likely just fan-service but I loved it.

I don’t really want to rate the separate parts of the crossover and will rate the whole thing at the end of the event but I think this is a great start to the crossover and I cannot wait for Part 2.

So that’s my review of Elseworlds - Part 1, what did you guys think? Post your comments and check out more DC TV Reviews and well as other TV Reviews and posts.

[blackgirlsuperherorants]

This may be a little stupid, idk. Personal thing.

But, I'm really starting to hate actors coming into superhero roles and saying they weren't familiar with the characters beforehand.

Like, okay, on the one hand, I get it. Not everyone read comics growing up, and some people are even from countries where DC and Marvel haven’t been very popular until recently with the influx of movies. Like, I know Sebastian Stan had no access to American comics in Romania, so of course he didn’t know who Bucky Barnes was. 

But on the other hand, sometimes it feels a little dismissive or disrespectful, or even out of touch. Like, I know I’m a superhero fan. I know I am probably more aware of obscure characters that the average person, even well versed in pop culture, may never have heard of. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if an actor said they’d never heard of Adam Warlock.

But, then you have the Teen Titans. And, you know, they’re not the MOST ICONIC DC characters, but they’ve had a popular cartoon on for at least 15 years (first Teen Titans, and now Teen Titans Go). I feel like if you’re between the ages of like 8 and 30 and grew up in the United States, you should at least, in passing, know who the Teen Titans are. Like, I remember when the original cartoon was coming on, and I heard a lot about it even before I started watching it. It was popular enough that teens and kids and adults were watching it. It was popular enough that I BELIEVE that’s why Cyborg is in the Justice League movie (because who would’ve thought to include Cyborg in that film until he got so popular through Teen Titans? If that movie came out in 2005 or something, it probably just would’ve been Green Lantern or something. Or even Martian Manhunter.) I digress. Let’s get back on track.

When I hear actors say in interviews that “I wasn’t familiar with the character before I got the role”, sometimes I wonder why they even went for the role. And, I’m an actor, too, so in some ways, I get it. You just want work. You want roles that are dynamic, interesting, fun. You want to make money and support yourself. You want roles that look good on your resume and make you desirable to cast in other work in the future. And right now, superheroes are hot and are star-making roles. You go from being “that guy in that thing” to “OMG THERE HE IS!” I get it. But also, like... there are thousands of actors registered in the Screen Actors Guild. Out of all of those actors, there have to be some who have actually heard of these characters. Why do we ALWAYS end up with actors who have never fucking heard of... the goddamn Teen Titans?

Like, I understand some of the more obscure characters not being heard of. Like, maybe Danai Gurrira never heard of Okoye before her audition, but also Okoye is obscure as hell, before the film. Even people who knew who Black Panther was didn’t necessarily know who Okoye was. Most people who thought of Black Panther thought of Storm, maybe Shuri, and maybe like Monica Lynne. Ayo, Okoye, Nakia... all of them are more obscure secondary characters in the Black Panther universe. 

I’ve been trying not to call out specific actors... but I’m going to say this, and let me tell you all and be clear, I still support her casting and am happy for her. But...

Starfire is too well known to have cast someone who didn’t already want to play her in the first place. Who didn’t already know the character, at least in passing. 

Sidenote, IDK where Miss Diop is from, so she might have grown up where they didn’t show the Teen Titans cartoon on TV. Which might be why she didn’t know who Starfire was. So, there’s that.

And, I know everyone can’t be Michael B. Jordan or Grant Gustin (superhero/comics fans long before they got their roles in their respective comicbook movies/shows.) 

But, it would be great if the studios and networks could start casting people who maybe had some idea who these characters were beforehand. Even if they aren’t fans. Like, even someone who is like “Yeah, I knew about this character and had seen them in cartoons/comics before I even read for the role.” It seems like the only time we get that is if it’s Supergirl, Wonder Woman, Batgirl/Batwoman, Catwoman... 

Y’all can’t find actors who have heard of Starfire? I’m an actor, and I’ve heard of Starfire. I’m an actor, and I’m black, and I’ve heard of Starfire. Like, I... don’t understand why so many actors, in my age range, have simply never heard of popular superhero characters unless they’re fucking Batman or Superman.

The hell y’all been? Even before I considered myself a true superhero/comics fan, when I was a child I watched superhero cartoons. Spider-Man and X-Men and Batman and Justice League and Avengers.... they came on regular TV, in blocks with other cartoons. Not even cable. Fox and WB(now CW). Even Teen Titans, it came on Cartoon Network, and was a popular series at the time (though I was already actively a self-professed superhero fan at that point.)

Like, would someone get cast as Sailor Moon and be like “I’d never heard of Sailor Moon before this audition”? I seriously doubt it.

And, I’m not saying the work suffers for it. Some of these actors do really good jobs and become iconic for their performance of the characters. Like, Sebastian Stan is probably the definitive Bucky Barnes and probably will remain that way.

And, again, I’m not talking about really obscure characters, like the Guardians of the Galaxy (and 90% of the characters from their movies: Ego, the Collector, Yondu, etc.). Most of the time, in those cases, their performances become so iconic they change the way the comics versions of their characters are portrayed. Like, Chloe Bennett with Quake. (Not saying all of those characters were the most obscure things ever. I think Collector, for instance, is pretty well known among Marvel readers. Just saying if you went to anyone on the street and said “Who is Iron Man” they’ll know what you’re talking about, but if you said “Who is Ego the Living Planet?” they might look at you crazy.)

Like, I don’t think it’s bad that someone playing Ego might have never heard of Ego.

Just, like... it get annoyed when someone is cast in some iconic thing, and we’re all excited about it, and then the interview with them is like “Lol, I never heard of this weird comics thing, but the fans are passionate, lol, don’t wanna piss them off! So, I read some comics!” Like... It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

I know I’ve talked like this about Elizabeth Olsen, but she actually became an expert in Wanda stories. (Her only problem, now, is acting like she’s above the whole thing in interviews.)

And I’m sure the actress that inspired this rant will do her best to make this character great, but honestly. I’m just really, really tired of hearing actors say they didn’t know anything about the thing before they were cast. 

There are a lot of us who are comics fans who knew about the thing since we were kids. It would be so easy to cast actors who at least have some context.  

I’m just saying, as long as we’re getting people playing characters that are well known and beloved, it would be great if they could have some prior knowledge. Even just a little. Like, I doubt Grant Gustin was a Flash superfan before he became Barry Allen. But I know he knew who the Flash fucking was. I know Chris Evans didn’t necessarily know everything about Captain America before he became Cap, but he knew who Cap fucking was. 

And, even if they didn’t and they had to be sent a stack of comics and read up to understand, I wish they would just... omit that part. Because saying it in interviews, to me, comes across as dismissive. Like, when actors in book movies say they didn’t read the book, I feel the same way. But it’s worse when it’s superheroes/comics, because it always comes across as looking down on the source material. Like “of course I wouldn’t know about this weird ass shit, but since it has weirdo fans who care too much...”

Like, their paychecks come from people who grew up with this stuff and love it. At least don’t treat us like freaks for caring about Starfire. Or any of our other characters.

Also, Teen Titans, specifically, seems to be really popular with people in my age range. Even people who I wouldn’t consider comicbook fans. My Facebook (which is full of people I went to high school and college with, not just superhero friends) is full of conversation about this Teen Titans series because so many of us grew up watching the original animated series. I have no curated my Facebook to be superhero rich or anything. In fact, I barely post there, because, like most people’s FB, it’s full of people I know/knew IRL and know/knew in different contexts. Actor friends. Mom’s friends from church. Family members. Classmates. People I barely know who just went to my High School. And still, I see people around my age talking about this series, because so many of us grew up with and love the Teen Titans. And so many of us have grievances with TTG. (I get why it’s the way it is, and I think it’s a perfectly funny cartoon, but I still have grievances with it.)

And, like, black folks I know have been defending Miss Diop from people who were just mad that she has brown skin. 

So, like... I just wish she wouldn’t be in interviews talking about how she knew nothing about the character. Just say you did a lot to prepare, and don’t make it weird. 

IDK. Again, it’s dumb, and it’s just me... I’m just really tired of hearing this from actors. I obviously watch a lot of superhero content, and I watch interviews with a lot of actors from this stuff, and a good percentage of them say they never heard of their character before they were cast, and a good chunk of that percentage of actors says it in a dismissive way as if the content is weird and they were ... “not a nerd” or are too high brow, an Actor! serious about their craft who would, of course, never have heard of Bizarro Superman, or whatever. (Like, I’m an actor, serious about my craft, with a degree in theatre, and studied the avant garde and have mostly only acted in avant garde pieces or serious dramatic plays, and you know what my cute ass does after curtain? I go to my cast dinner, then I go home and watch fucking Arrowverse shows or read Captain Marvel comics. None of those things are mutually exclusive, and it doesn’t make you a more serious actor to pretend liking comicbooks or superhero content is beneath you. Ask Michael B. Jordan and his many acclaimed performances.)

And, like, it’s such a privilege to even be an actor with the opportunity to be in a huge show or movie about DC or Marvel superheroes. Y’all don’t even understand. Acting is a HARD business, most of us will be lucky to even make a few hundred bucks a year acting, and have to supplement with other work. Getting steady work on a TV show is like winning the lottery. Getting steady work on a TV show that almost guarantees success, like a branded show about characters with a following already is like winning the Mega Millions lottery, and not just the couple hundred bucks scratch off. Marvel and DC are HEAVILY curated. They don’t just greenlight shows and movies. These concepts are worked on for years, from the idea, to the script, to the casting, to the filming... They don’t, for the most part, license out their characters to just anything. And, today, they pretty much have a hand on everything that is branded with their names. So, being an actor, seeing other actors get once in a lifetime opportunities to star in HEAVILY CURATED superhero content from the two biggest comics entities in the US, probably the world... and then treat it like it’s fucking stupid and beneath them? It really annoys me.

Like, trade with me, y’all. I’ll play Starfire, you come take my roles in my small, Important, Serious Theatre off off Broadway. Since you want to be an artiste, and superheroes are beneath you.

I guess that’s probably the main reason it annoys me, lol. These roles are a big deal. Nobody just randomly gets hired by DC. I can’t just waltz into an audition and suddenly I’m Nubia. They’re heavily curated projects. People sit down at tables and discuss which casting will work and why. These people won the fucking actor lottery, and they behave as if it’s nothing, and they’re better than it.

And, I respect them. Maybe they are better than it, in some ways. Maybe she dreams of holding that Oscar statuette, and this Starfire role is just to get her name more recognition. 

And also, maybe she, in particular, feels soured on it because of the racist douchebros being asswipes about the orange alien she plays being played by a black actress. (DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THAT BULLSHIT).

But.... I’m still over hearing actors talk about how much they didn’t know a thing about their characters before being cast. I mean, goddamn... What am I supposed to think about this? 

Anyway, fuck me up, if you need to. I’m being nitpicky. And, like I said, I still am happy for her and support her casting. Black women gotta work, and nothing makes me happier than seeing racist fanboys shit their pants when the character they fapped to is played by a black woman. Dunno why they thought Starfire’s alien ass was white, anyway. Aliens aren’t white, kids.

Superman ain’t white, nor is Kara. None of these aliens are white. Better not hear anything about the race of the actors cast as them... But ESPECIALLY Starfire, who is fucking ORANGE. At least Superman has skin similar to European humans in the comics. Starfire has ORANGE SKIN. 

Anyway, done. Still salty, but done.

[seriouslycromulent]

Justice League Review & Recap (Warning: Get comfortable)

Soooo, if you’ve ever visited my blog in the past, you know I’m a DC comics fan. I’m not anti-Marvel, mind you. But I love me some DC. With that in mind, it’s important to note that I’m not your average DC fan or DCEU fan or DCtv fan. I tend to like a lot of things others dislike, and dislike a lot of things others like. That’s not me being contrary. I’m pretty much that way about most issues in life – politics, music, travel, etc. 

I’m telling you this to prepare you for my fangirl rantings. You might agree with some of them. You might think I’m loony about others. But understand, I’m not trying to convince you to agree with me. I’m simply expressing my opinion. I say nothing out of malice or a desire to run down someone or something any person loves. That’s not my style. I’d rather spend my time gushing over the things that bring my life joy than dedicate a lot of time and energy to tearing down things that don’t. (Case in point: I started typing a review of Thor: Ragnarok 2 weeks ago after I saw it, but decided not to continue and didn’t post it.)

With that said, let’s jump right in:

Warning: Spoilers be below, so I’m using a cut tag out of courtesy. And seriously, you might want to grab a snack because I’m going all in. 😊

If you’re looking for a mild or hate-filled review of the Justice League, you might want to stop now. I loved the film, and I already plan to buy it when it comes out on digital release. I currently own 2 DCEU films: Man of Steel and Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. I’m attending the ACE Comic Con on Long Island in December, and I plan to see JL multiple times before then. I’ve already seen it twice. I’m a fan. So if you were hoping for an all-negative review or you’re not interested in the details of what I liked and didn’t like about the film, stop now.

Also, these points are not in chronological order of the film. Let’s do this:

What I Liked

Sassy Alfred is back! That dig about Bruce not dating was not missed, sir. Not missed at all. Alfred, never change.

Barry not knowing which direction was East = Me as a superhero! 🙄😏

When we came back from the theater, BvS: Dawn of Justice was on HBO. Both my mother and I said we didn’t even notice they put a photo of Pa Kent in the coffin with Clark at the end. So kudos to the continuity team for remembering to include it in Justice League. And shame on me for not noticing that before. Also, when the photo fell into the amniotic fluid during the resurrection scene, I can’t help but think that was meant to symbolize Clark losing a valuable part of himself in the process of coming back to life. (But hey! I was an English major. I see symbolism everywhere.)

I respect the fact that the DCEU acknowledges all the advancements in the digital world we live in today, but Commissioner Gordon is still sticking with the tried-and-true analog Bat Signal with the lever and the thick wires and the sparks every time he needs to beckon Batman to a rooftop. Jim, never change.

The line: “Yeah, something’s definitely bleeding.” - Batman (This was both funny and in character.)

I liked the subtle and not-so-subtle references to a world in a continual state of despair and upheaval littered throughout the film. We hear Alfred say, “I do not recognize this world.” And Ma Kent talks about having trouble even listening to the news anymore. I think someone else references the anger and bitterness that’s around us everywhere we go these days. I know most of these scenes were filmed before 2 years ago, but I swear that dialogue could easily fit in with many of the statements I hear every day in conversations with my family, friends and people online. Once again, Snyder dials into that realism that makes the DCEU feel rooted in the world we live in today. Plus, Arthur’s recognition of “people who don’t have anywhere else to go” is a much appreciated acknowledgment of the current refugee crisis, but its done in such a way that it won’t feel dated in the future.

Billy Crudup delivers more in his two short scenes than most actors do in entire films. He’s now one of the reasons I’m really looking forward to the Flash solo film.

While I’m handing out kudos for acting, I want to say I’m proud of Ray Fisher and the job he’s done on bringing gravitas to Victor/Cyborg. I saw some DCEU-hater videos a few months ago imply that he might tank the film because audiences didn’t know his work before JL, which is absurd. Most of us didn’t know Hugh Jackman’s work before X-Men, but we gave him a chance and now y’all crying over him leaving the role after Logan. Ray did a wonderful job conveying the struggle Victor’s going through without making us feel like we missed so much backstory we couldn’t follow his emotional journey. He was the right casting choice.

I appreciated the Amazon fight with Steppenwolf to keep him away from the Motherbox so much more on the second viewing. The details, the logistics, the combat strategy were so much easier to take in once I knew how the battle was going to end. If you were like me and didn’t quite grasp how well that was shot, please watch the movie again.

I really liked the end credit scene and the appearance of [REDACTED]! It was not the end credit scene I was expecting (the Trailer-bait scene with Alfred talking to someone off-screen was the one I wanted), but I’m not mad. [REDACTED] is no man’s poor substitute.

Me learning new things: I never knew Supes was as fast as Barry. I knew they would race each other all the time, but I never knew he could literally see him moving inside the speedforce. That’s news to me, and it made that scene feel even more awesome!

Commissioner Gordon’s comment about the amount of structural damage Batman caused at the Gotham Harbor made me chuckle. I appreciate them hanging a light on that constant complaint.

Now, I, too, kind of want to know if Superman has ever fought a hippo. I’m kind of mad Supes never answered that.

So glad I saw the film a second time because I completely missed the confirmation that the Lanterns helped defeat Steppenwolf the first time he attacked Earth. Diana said that nearby visitors from other planets helped them drive Steppenwolf into retreat, but I was too busy trying to take in all the details and I missed the oh-so-important green ring that falls off the guy’s finger. Lantern Corps confirmed!

I appreciated that Barry recognized that his attempt to get a fist bump from Victor could be considered racial charged. That’s why it’s nice when we see Victor finally giving Barry a fist bump at the end while the team looked out on the safe® nuclear power plant area.

I liked how they showed that Bruce does have bruises and gets hurt in his battles against the others. I know we didn’t get to see much of it, but those bruises were important to his story and his journey, just as his comments about knowing he can’t do this forever. 

What I Loved! 

Lois Lane is “the Big Guns.” You damn right she is!!

Aquaman/Aquamomoa really was wielding that quindent like it was an extension of himself. He flipped that thing around like it was nothing. And knowing Jason like I “do,�� he put a lot of work into making it look fluid as possible. It’s kind of hard to miss with all the action on the first viewing, but when he’s fighting Steppenwolf alongside Diana, you can really appreciate how well he works the weapon to give himself a fighting chance with an enemy twice his size.

Diana calling Resurrected!Clark Kal-El. Bruce calling Resurrected!Clark Clark. This was me each time:

Absolute favorite scene: Everyone fighting Resurrected!Superman. Not only because it’s well done, but because of this: It did a great job of showing how much of a threat Supes is going to be in the future. He had just woken up from a dirt nap, so he was in no way running on all cylinders and they still couldn’t really take him. Imagine how much of a threat Superman will be to the others when he’s at actual full power? Granted, Diana was holding back and Arthur was out of practice/rusty in the ass-kicking business, but even at their best, I think it’s clear they’re not going to be a true match for Supes when he is at his best. That was a clever “sneak peak” of a story to come.

Also, Superman catching Diana’s arms before she can clash her bracelets together, then headbutting her. Then her headbutting him. Then him holding her wrists, raising in the air, and headbutting her into the pavement. That was so awesome! It made me suddenly want to buy the video game and pit Wonder Woman against Superman over and over again.

Loved the head-nod to canon about Batman already thinking of contingency plans should they not be able to control Clark once he’s resurrected. 

I’m extremely happy with the inclusion of Victor as the linchpin to defeating Steppenwolf. I know a lot of people questioned his inclusion as a member of the Justice League, but he’s honestly a great addition. Not only because of the Motherbox technology, but because of his understanding and access to digital technology. In 2017, the Justice League needs to have someone on the team who can handle the digital aspects of a fight. Maybe it wasn’t as big of a component to fighting the good fight back in the 1980s, but it definitely is now. Cyborg is a perfect addition/update to the Justice League concept. It just works. Anyone still pushing back on this after seeing JL doesn’t really have a solid argument.

Favorite Aquaman moment: When Arthur finally joins the fight and helps the team under Gotham Harbor. When he came in and used his quindent to hold the water back long enough for the others to escape… I damn near jumped out of my seat with applause. You go boy! Talks to fish, my ass!

I love a good argument. That is, when writers create an argument between characters where it’s difficult to choose a side, I love that! That’s why I love how Bruce shuts Diana down about her trying to tell him to move on after Clark’s death. I understood her trepidation about using the Motherbox to resurrect Clark, but Bruce was 100% on the money when he said she’s the last person to tell anybody they need to move on after suffering a loss considering how she shut herself off for almost a century after losing Steve Trevor. Sure, Victor calls Bruce an asshole, and Barry said that they’d cover for Diana if she killed Bruce, but Bruce was still right.

This moment: Superman: “I knew you didn’t bring me back because you liked me.” Batman, awkwardly stammering: “I don’t … not …”

Everyone has a small character arc that doesn’t get ignored at the expense of the action or storyline. I love it when storytellers do that! By the time the credits roll, 1) Diana learns to come out of the shadows and own her role as a hero. 2) Barry learns confidence in battle, even if he isn’t as strong or as sure-footed as the others. It’s clear by the end, he understands that his skills will come in time. Plus, friends. 3) Victor begins to see his condition/situation as something other than a curse, and we can see his relationship with his father start to mend. 4) Arthur starts to find his way back to interacting with the world as someone up other than an outcast from both sides of his family. 5) And, well, Clark comes back from the dead, and after letting off some steam, decides to forgive … eventually. 6) Maybe Bruce doesn’t have much of an arc since he spends most of the film trying to right a wrong he made, but I think that’s enough on his plate for now.

The scene that tugs at my heartstrings the most: Bruce acknowledging to Alfred that the team needs Clark. And that it’s Clark’s humanity that makes him remarkable. Not his powers. Not his abilities. The fact that he was willing to only use those abilities to help others, but also try to live a normal life with a job, a girlfriend and a desire to make the world a better place even without those powers is what made him special. I swear that whole speech just made me want to hug the writers.

One word: Booyah!

What I Didn’t Like

No Perry. Not even a cameo. 😣

Where’s my Clark accepting Lois’s “Yes” for his proposal in absentia scene from the trailer?! Trailer-bait is mean, Snyder. Just mean. I don’t know if this is Whedon’s doing, but … yeah. Not happy.

Poor Barry tripping over his feet. 😟 I understand why it’s necessary to show him as a greenhorn, but it still makes me feel sad. 

I did feel as if the pacing in the beginning was a bit rushed. It was as if they were really quick to jump into introducing the team/convincing them to join. But I chocked that up to the studio over-editing Snyder’s work again. And I quickly put it out of my mind about 15 minutes into the film. Like any good DCEU fan, I figure the director’s cut will fix it, so I’m not too bothered.

I know the Russian family of four was just supposed to represent the host of families that have sought out the nuclear power plant area for refuge, but are now in danger of getting killed in Steppenwolf’s wake, but constantly going back to that one family made me feel like they were the only family in danger. I think it would’ve been more effective to include shots of a couple of other families bordering up their homes in fear of the parademons. It’s not like they didn’t have the budget.

When BvS came out, I said I think I would’ve preferred a clean-shaven Bruce Wayne/Batman. I was wrong. He looks better with the stubble. Much better.

Barry was at the beginning of his journey, so I understand the use of humor to cope with his new situation, but sometimes I felt like he was a little too much comic relief. Not that it was out of character for him. He was/is a guy desperate to make friends, so keeping it light even in serious moments does kind of fit him at this stage. But it did sometimes feel a bit much. I mean he is still struggling to get his father out of jail, and trying to get his life on track. His joviality felt a little too much at times. I love his geekiness, but I don’t want to see him not be taken seriously by the audience going forward. Hopefully, they will avoid that in future films.

The CGI for Victor looks brilliant, just like I said it would. I saw nothing wrong with it at all. It had weight and density. It appeared cutting edge without appearing unreasonably implausible. The complaints about it when the trailers came out were completely unfounded, just like I said. But … the CGI on Cavill’s face sometimes looked … no. Just no. That definitely could’ve been better. At times, he looked like his face was uneven in terms of depth. And others, he looked like his skin was too perfect. For a film with this budget and with their schedule, I expected better.

Unpopular opinion: I’m still unsure about Amber Heard’s casting. I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but based on the few films I’ve seen of hers in the past + the one scene she has in Justice League … I do not feel hopeful. I mean when I compare Billy Crudup’s big scene with Amber’s scene, I’m like, “How did she get cast in this franchise?” I’m on board with all the casting choices so far except hers. I’m going to try to give her more rope, but I’m not going to pretend to be a fan because other people are.

I still feel like people are going to walk out the cinema and go: “So what can Aquaman do?” It’s clear he’s strong, agile and fearless. And after bodysurfing a parademon through a building, it’s obvious he doesn’t bruise easily. But I still think people are going to go, “But what can he do?” We literally saw him use a quindent to hold back umpteen gallons of water, but folks are still going to talk trash. SMH. I wish the film did more to alleviate that prospect.

This, That & The Other

There was a lot more swearing than I expected. No judgment. It was just more realistic given the situations they were in, and since the general public seems to be bothered about the DCEU feeling realistic, it was more than I expected. I figured with all the clamoring to make things all light and bubbly as possible, swearing wouldn’t be as much of an option for the franchise anymore.

That joke Clark made about wishing he were dead after helping rip apart the Motherboxes: Too soon! It honestly made me feel uncomfortable. I’m still trying to unpack why, so I didn’t include it with the things I didn’t like in the list above. But honestly, it kind of deserves to be there.

Unpopular opinion: If they do bring in Green Lantern, I hope they choose John Stewart over Hal. If they go with Hal Jordan, everyone is going to compare him to Ryan Reynolds. Save us all from that unnecessary fandom war, and just go with John Stewart! Plus, you get to add another DC hero of color, and frankly, John was a better Green Lantern than Hal. Yeah, I said it!

I walked in to Justice League excited to see the upcoming origin films in this order: Aquaman, Flash, Cyborg. I walked out excited to see the origin films in this order: Flash, Cyborg, Aquaman. I still love Momoa, but I’m actually more interested in seeing Barry’s origin story more now than Arthur’s.

Why couldn’t Bruce just buy the farm back from the bank? Why did he have to buy the entire bank? Bruce is so extra.

To Sum Up/Overall:

I don’t want my overall review of the film to be a reactionary one. By that I mean, I’m not interested in arguing or refuting others’ rumors, reactions or feedback. I feel like it taints the genuine impression I walked out of the theater with after seeing the film (both times). So I’ll say this:

I thoroughly enjoyed Justice League. I’m not upset, aggravated or disappointed in any way more than I was after watching Batman v Superman. I don’t think the film was as strong as Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but it was a good solid film about a team coming together for the first time who were in very different headspaces to fight an enemy who is the precursor to the ultimate Big Bad we’ll see in Justice League 2. I thought the film did fine mixing heart, humor and story without sacrificing character development and purpose. It is not set up to deliver the same emotional impact as BvS, so I can’t genuinely complain if it does not do that.

I’m aware they had to, for lack of better phrasing, “dumb it down” because so many people felt lost while watching BvS. I didn’t feel lost watching BvS, but I respect the fact that not everyone is me, and I actually prefer films that don’t insult my intelligence. BvS was the first – and frankly, only – comic book movie that hasn’t insulted my intelligence. Justice League had to play to an audience that consists of more than just me so it’s structure is overly simple and easy to follow. Literally no one should feel like they didn’t understand what is happening in this film. 

There’s more humor, which is fine by me, but at times, it did feel out of place. That is not to say they aren’t allowed to be making jokes, but it felt out of place because you can tell when it’s not Snyder’s “voice.” And subsequently, it doesn’t feel like Superman’s “voice.” But again, I’m willing to overlook those moments because they were minor beats that didn’t detract from the film’s impression. It’s like having a few scratches or dings in the bumper of a vintage Shelby Mustang cobra. You wish the scratches weren’t there, but the car is still a work of art. 

Thankfully, I saw this film with my mother. My mother is a lifelong comic book fan. (My stepfather is also, but he had to work and couldn’t see it with us.) And I’m very lucky to have her perspective on these films because as a hardcore comic book nerd who has a ton of knowledge of the DC/Marvel universes, but doesn’t partake in any of the internet fandom infighting and overly dramatic social media scream fests, she allows me to see the film from the perspective of someone who just wants comic books to come to life on the big screen in an amazing way. She doesn’t dig for slights. She’s not interested in one-up-manship. She wants all the films to do well, whether they’re Blade, HellBoy, X-Men, Fantastic Four, Avengers or Justice League. And I think some of us you who spend a lot of time on the internet supporting your fandoms need to have someone in your lives who can do the same thing for you. Seriously, some of the reactions I’m seeing online are so tainted by this arbitrary competition and need to have everything “just so,” I really think you’re missing out on the joy these films are meant to bring you.

Yes, I’m excited to see the director’s cut of Justice League. Yes, I prefer my Superman having a more time-realistic coping process after having been dead for so long. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy watching a freshly resurrected Kal-El take down a not-quite-gelled team of superheroes without expending too much effort. Seriously, that entire sequence was fantastic and I will probably re-watch it multiple times. (Do I really just want to see other superheroes fight Superman? What does that say about me? Hmmm.)

Anyway, if I had to make a major gripe about the film is that it’s missing that “something.” That soul that Zack Snyder brings to this franchise. And by that I mean, Man of Steel feels like Zack’s movie. BvS feels like Zack’s movie. But Justice League, although primarily directed by Zack, doesn’t quite feel like Zack’s movie. And I miss that. It works fine since this is the first time the team has come together and their still finding their rhythm, especially Arthur, Victor and Barry. But my hope is that by the time JL2 comes around, the studio will let Zack do what he does and give the film its soul. 

The DCEU films work for me because they feel much more grounded in reality, which is the hallmark of DC comics (yes, even the Atom). And although there is some element of that in Justice League, it doesn’t come across as well as it did in Zack’s other films. I can only assume it’s because the studio had him change certain details and the editing job Whedon did kind of imbued the film with a style that didn’t quite gel with Zack’s. Don’t get me wrong. Whedon can do realism, but his realism isn’t the same as Zack’s, and I feel like Justice League should have Zack’s realism from start to finish (at least within the same film). He’s the one who got us here, and he’s the one who will make it feel like its ours. Not the studio’s, if that makes sense.

No, the film wasn’t perfect. But literally none of the comic book movies have been perfect, even the good Marvel ones. They all have flaws. But I don’t need a film to be perfect to be a delight that I want to see over and over again. This film didn’t need a lot of twist and turns. The most important takeaways are 1) bringing the team together, 2) resurrecting Superman, and 3) testing their mettle against an agent of Darkseid. And that’s exactly what it accomplished. Was Steppenwolf on the same level as Lex Luthor? Hell no! But he’s not supposed to be. Steppenwolf is a club. Lex Luthor is a scalpel. Each film should have a villain that suits the desired outcome for the film itself. 

No civilians were killed, which apparently is a thing people only care about in DC films, but conveniently forget about in Marvel films. The fight scenes were epic. There was no room for ambiguity. And we got to see a team go on their first full mission together and begin to recognize why they’re better together than apart. Superman might’ve been able to defeat Steppenwolf on his own, but he didn’t have the tech skills to do what they needed Cyborg to do with the Unified Motherboxes. We saw Batman save the Flash. We saw Wonder Woman save Aquaman. The Flash helped save civilians. Superman helped save civilians. We saw all of them handle themselves well, but not perfectly. And that to me is exactly what we were meant to see this time around.

I give the film a solid B+, but only because I suspect the director’s cut will be an A-.

That’s it. The end.

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2016

Mediocre. 

That’s probably how best to describe last year’s cinematic releases.

Whilst there were a few spectacular successes that captured the imagination of cinemagoers everywhere, many films failed to generate any interest at the box office and instead, were rewarded the ire of critics and audiences who’ve now grown tired of the sub-standard quality of productions Hollywood releases under the premise of ‘entertainment.’

So, who succeeded and who failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS

49. FREE STATE OF JONES

48. BLOOD FATHER

47. EDDIE THE EAGLE

46. ROOM

45. SAUSAGE PARTY

44. THE FOUNDER

43. THE MEDDLER

42. HAIL, CAESAR

41. DEADPOOL

40. EYE IN THE SKY

39. THE CONJURING 2

38. LIGHTS OUT

37. ANOMALISA

36. FINDING DORY

35. A BIGGER SPLASH

34. SHERPA

33. THE JUNGLE BOOK

32. FLORENCE FOSTER JENKINS

31. SWISS ARMY MAN

30. BONE TOMAHAWK

29. CAPTAIN FANTASTIC

28. TOO LATE

27. HACKSAW RIDGE

26. TICKLED

25. NOCTURNAL ANIMALS

24. THE BEATLES: EIGHT DAYS A WEEK

23. THE BIG SHORT

22. LA LA LAND

21. THE NICE GUYS

20. DOCTOR STRANGE

19. CAROL

18. STEVE JOBS

17. THE DAUGHTER

16. THE REVENANT

15. THE HATEFUL EIGHT

14. GOLDSTONE

13. THE ARRIVAL

12. GREEN ROOM

11. HELL OR HIGH WATER

10. THE NEON DEMON

Director Nicolas Winding Refn’s psychological horror film about an aspiring model in LA, whose beauty and youth generate intense fascination and jealousy within the industry, was audacious, seductive and a visual feast for lovers of esoteric imagery. It may have polarised its critics, but ‘The Neon Demon’ proved once again why Refn is regarded by many as a bold and visionary artist.

9. THE WITCH

The tale about a Puritan family’s decision to go it alone in the wilderness and encountering evil forces in the woods beyond their isolated farm, deservedly became a ‘must-see’ for lovers of the horror genre. Primal and challenging, ’The Witch’ was a modern classic of the genre, an exquisitely made film that immersed you in a gloomy and harsh existence whilst it slowly built towards its haunting conclusion. 

8. ROGUE ONE: A STAR WARS STORY

When reshoots were confirmed back in June of last year, fans of this famous film franchise were warranted to feel slightly apprehensive about the release of the very first ‘Star Wars’ stand alone film. They needn’t to have worried so - ‘Rogue One’ proved to be a favourite with both fans and critics alike. Set just before the events of ‘Episode IV: A New Hope,’ and focusing on the rebel spies who managed to steal the plans for the original Death Star, ‘Rogue One’ was a well-executed piece of ‘Star Wars’ lore.

7. SPOTLIGHT

Chronicling the events leading up to the ‘Boston Globe's trailblazing articles, published in 2002, about Boston priests abusing children, ‘Spotlight’ was a thought-provoking piece of modern storytelling. Featuring a strong script and a stellar cast of disciplined actors, ‘Spotlight’ made viewers think about how an unquestioning faith in institutions may not just be inadvisable, but devastating.

6. 45 YEARS

Whilst movies about marriage can be bitter and/or perceptive, ‘45 Years’ was that rare exception, where a film presents a situation as complicated as that of it’s two protagonists. Anchored by sensational performances from both Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay, and featuring a clever yet effective soundtrack, ‘45 Years’ was a small film of big insights, heavy on dialogue but light on speeches.

5. 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE

It would be wonderful to explain as to why director Dan Trachtenberg’s debut feature was squirm-and-jump-in-your-seat fun, but doing so would actually make it less fun by ruining the surprise. ‘10 Cloverfield Lane’ proved itself to be a masterclass in suspense, a heart-racing experience that refused to let up the level of intensity it instilled in audiences for even a minute.

4. ZOOTOPIA

Clever and heartwarming, Disney’s 55th animated feature was equal parts buddy-cop comedy, fish-out-of-water tale and whodunnit mystery. With its vibrant visuals and spot-on voice casting, ‘Zootopia’ also garnered praise for its tackling of themes about discrimination and social stereotypes.

3. HUNT FOR THE WILDERPEOPLE

Quirky and offbeat, this charming odd-couple adventure from New Zealand was a well-acted story of a down-and-out Maori kid and his grouchy foster parent. It could have devolved into the cliched, but managed to stay on the right side of endearing thanks to the chemistry between the film’s two leads. Proof also that Sam Neill is a national treasure, no matter what side of the Tasman you may reside.

2. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR

Note to DC Comics and Zack Snyder - this is how you make a superhero movie. With its death-defying action sequences, charismatic additional superheroes and emotional character development, this third ‘Captain America’ outing was both an intense and entertaining addition to the ever-expanding MCU.

1. DON’T BREATHE

Director Fede Alvarez’s ‘Don’t Breathe’ was an intense, gripping thriller set almost entirely in one house as a group of desperate thieves attempt to steal a fortune from an elderly blind man. The film was not only clever with its editing and sound design, but also succeeded in creating a bonding experience amongst its audience, where the entire cinema would scream in unison. A modern-day suspense classic, ‘Don’t Breathe’ was nerve wracking as hell, with the now infamous ‘turkey baster sequence’ joining the long canon of classic horror film moments. 

…AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. GHOSTBUSTERS

19. BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

18. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES

17. NOW YOU SEE ME 2

16. THE LEGEND OF TARZAN

15. WARCRAFT

14. INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE

13. SUICIDE SQUAD

12. GODS OF EGYPT

11. DIRTY GRANDPA

10. THE BOSS

As comedies go, Melissa McCarthy’s latest had very little to offer. The characters were underdeveloped and underwritten, a prison subplot that sounded promising went nowhere (and strangely unexplored comedy-wise) and there were so many holes in the remaining storyline that audiences wondered what happened in the process of filming.

9. ROCK THE KASBAH

The tale of a down-on-his-luck music manager discovering a teenage girl with an extraordinary voice while on a music tour in Afghanistan, wasn’t one of the ‘Murricane’s stronger efforts. Director Barry Levinson (’Rain Man,’ ‘Good Morning, Vietnam’) tried to be both funny and respectful to the material, but what resulted was a rather slapdash affair that failed to produce any laughs.

8. LONDON HAS FALLEN

The word ‘jingoism’ is defined in the Oxford Dictionary as ‘extreme patriotism, especially in the form of aggressive or warlike foreign policy.’ This definition could also be used to best describe the plot for this inane actioner. Anyone who was calling for a sequel to ‘Olympus Has Fallen,’ should’ve been careful what they wished for.

7. BASTILLE DAY

As an action film, ‘Bastille Day’ was sorely lacking and uninspired, relying solely on many of the overused cliches that come with the genre - mismatched heroes, reluctantly teamed up and constantly bickering, not to mention the sudden ‘surprise’ betrayal so clumsily telegraphed that it absolutely failed to surprise. And Mr Elba, please, no more rapping performances over the end credits of any future films in which you may appear.

6. ALICE THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

Whilst Disney may have have reaped both critical and box office gold with its Marvel films and ‘Rogue One,’ its fantastical follow up to the $1 billion grossing ‘Alice in Wonderland’ completely failed to charm both audiences and critics alike. Lacking virtually any form of narrative, ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’ was nothing more than a parade of gaudy CGI used to disguise the utter lack of interesting characters. Sadly, this was also Alan Rickman’s last role before his untimely death.

5. BEN-HUR

This fifth film adaptation of Lew Wallace’s revered 1880 novel was a real chariots of dire. The film’s poor performance at the box office was confirmation audiences have become increasingly tired of Tinseltown’s lacklustre efforts to improve upon what are already considered by many as cinematic classics.

4. CELL

This confusing thriller about a mysterious cell phone signal that turns people into murderous zombies, now has the dishonour of being arguably the worst movie ever made based on a Stephen King novel. Amateurish in execution and with a grand finale that’s less ambiguous than deeply confusing, ‘Cell’ was both a disappointment and an embarrassment for all those involved.

3. MASTERMINDS

With director Jared Hess (‘Napolean Dynamite’) at the helm, and a cast featuring some of the funniest US comedians currently out there, you’d be right in automatically thinking that ‘Masterminds’ would be brimming with comedic gold. Unfortunately, the end result was a non-stop avalanche of stale jokes that failed to even garner the slightest of titters from its audience.

2. MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES

“Hear ye, hear ye, let it be known to all moviegoers that the ‘gross-out-comedy-genre’ was officially (and thankfully) laid to rest in 2016...” ‘Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates’ was nothing more than a misfired series of puerile jokes that even the reigning kings of the genre, the Farrelly Brothers, would deem as a whole new level of terrible.

1. BAD SANTA 2

The first ‘Bad Santa’ was an unexpected treat, a cruelly hilarious film with a surprising amount of heart. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said about this truly repulsive sequel that so deservedly belongs in the number one position on this year’s cinematic naughty list. Given that five of this year’s ten worst films are comedies, it would appear that the Hollywood standard for the genre itself has reached an all-time new low. Perhaps the only silver lining regarding last year’s worst films is that none of them featured Adam Sandler.