#so slow and so unrewarding

[gittetj]

I'm soooo looking forward to when I can move on to finishing the next 5 End of the World chapters. I'm doing my very best to demolish the status quo.

Have some doodles that took way too long to draw because I haven't drawn anything in ages.

[lostinlovingrevery]

Entangle

Old Man Logan X F! Reader

Part 2 of Unraveling

He can't let you go without returning the favor

A/N: Lol idk why that glory hole fic has been haunting me. anyway here's part 2. may or may not be thinking of a part 3 already.... also this is fairly tame compared to my other smut but my smut feels rusty lately so !!!!!

Warnings: SMUT, unprotected piv, a little bit of a size kink im ngl, car sex, RIDING DICK!!!!!! logan likes to chat during sex lol, a tad breast play but not really, smoking, almost-creampie, maybe a tad of logan being a little obsessed with reader?

No good deed goes unpunished

Actually, no good deed goes unrewarded.

Logan just couldn’t let you go, not after that. Maybe he was an old pervert but his first taste of you and he was addicted. He had no qualms of admitting to you that it was him on the other side of the wall- but by the look of your face, you already knew. It remained unspoken, but there was tension in the air.  

“You’ve been begging me for a ride for a while now.” He says in a low voice, a small smirk growing on his face at the implication of his words. He placed a hand against the wall behind you, towering over you and observing you like prey. 

Your mouth fell open, and you stammered, your pretty eyes were blinking quickly- as if you couldn’t believe what you were seeing. He watched you glance down, and he could only imagine what you were picturing. 

He knew you enjoyed what you did to him in there- the way your tongue and lips wrapped around him. The hazy, unfocused look in your eyes that told him you were still pent up- the sweet, sweet scent of you was flooding his nose and making him more and more irritable that he wasn’t currently buried balls deep inside you at that moment. Your precious little heart was beating out of your chest.

He could give you so much more.

“I have…to see if I can get off.” You barely whispered, your voice caught in your throat. You couldn’t speak the way he was looking at you. 

“I’ll wait.” He raised a brow, staring down at you. You could barely hear him due to the chatter and music of the bar. A whole world was happening around you, but you could only focus on Logan.

The older man you have developed a crush on since he became a regular- not that you would admit it, or tell anyone. You liked his stoic, grumpy demeanor. His cute little glasses, and the small smiles that seemed reserved only for you. It gave you butterflies when you could draw it out of him. A warm compliment and a gentle touch of his hand and you’d see his ears flush red and just a hint of a smirk on his lips. 

You wondered, did he use that naughty thing in the bathrooms regularly- and by chance you were the lucky one to get a taste of the mysterious man?

Or did he go in, knowing that you were about to try it for the first time?

His hand came down from the wall, his index finger tucking under your chin and lifting it up, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. 

“I’ll be in the car.” He says, removing his hand and turning away from you. 

You could barely watch him walk away, dropping your head as your eyes stared at his back. He entered the bar, and from the hall, you could see him pull out his wallet and pay his tab. 

When he disappeared from your view, that’s when you went to look for your boss. An excuse on your lips of not feeling well. Apparently, you weren’t good at hiding your feelings. Your boss noticed you did seem off, a certain fluster about your demeanor- better go home, get some rest.

“Slow now, darling.”

He cooed at you, hands holding onto your hips as you lowered down onto his cock. A small whine escaped, 

“I know, you can take it baby-” He leaned forward, pressing kisses into your neck and collarbone, his hand moved to rub your back soothingly. “You did such a good job earlier- Couldn’t let you get away without returning the favor.”

You thought he was big before- but now was a whole different story. He stretched you open in the most pleasurable way, a stinging feeling that slowly melted into something more. Making you feel fuller than you ever felt. It had been awhile for you after all. 

You joined him in the back of the limo, which he fortunately had parked in the far corner of the parking lot, where no light, and no other cars sat. You just hoped no nosy drunks or cops would show up, knocking on windows or shining lights inside and catching you and Logan in the act. You already never done this before, hooking up, hooking up with an older man, an older man that had been your customer for the last 4 months.

He was all ready for you. Sitting in the backseat, his legs spread and his cock stood erect. He was slowly stroking it and fuck even though you had been drooling all over it just 20 minutes ago, you wanted more. 

He had other ideas in mind. 

Made you completely undress, pulling you into his lap where his cock rested heavy against your belly. His hand went to the back of your neck, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss, all spit and tongue that made you moan and sent shivers down your spine. He would nip at your bottom lip, and then your jaw, and down to your neck, before going even lower and sucking on your nipples, his thumb rubbing circles into the one that his lips neglected. 

Once you were whining, grinding over his cock and soaking it with your arousal, his hands grabbed your hips, lifting you up and carefully brought you down over him. 

He watched with delight of your every expression as you came undone on his cock. Lowering yourself inch by inch, small gasps, quivering lips, your eyes squeezed shut. His hands soothed over your thighs. 

“You know what a pretty girl you are darling?” He purrs gently, “Whatchu doing out here with an old man like me?” 

Your hands tightened around his shoulders. You could barely think, as you nearly bottomed out on top of him. You opened your eyes, small pants escaping you. “I…I like you.” You managed. 

For the first time, Logan was the talker between you two. Normally, the nights he comes in- you’re filling the quiet between you with conversation. Anything and everything you could think of, whatever it is that would make him grunt in response, occasionally say his own opinion, or a funny remark about the topic that would make you laugh- louder than you probably should, the remark probably not being quite that funny, but you couldn’t help it. Anytime he was around and you felt like a teenage girl with her first crush, pulling out all the cheesy, stupid ways of flirting. Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, playfully shoving his arm, 

Something worked though, now that you’re dumb on his cock. 

A small laugh escapes him. “Yeah, you like me, sweetheart?” 

A small nod, and his smile grew wider. A small thrust of his hips, and you were filled to the hilt with him. Your mouth fell open, and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, leaning in closer. You could smell a mix of his cologne and natural musk- and it made you even more dizzy. 

“What do you like about me, hm?” 

You started to raise your hips, your weight falling on your knees as you circle over his tip, and you brought yourself back down, filling yourself with him again.

“Damn-” He hissed. His hands came to grip your ass, supporting you as you continue to raise your hips up and down. 

You wanted to answer his question- tell him everything you thought about him. How handsome you thought he is, how endearing his quiet nature and subtle self was. However, his cock was just the only thing you could think about. 

“Cocks got you all dumb huh?” His tone was filled with amusement. You lolled your head around, pressing your forehead against his shoulder. 

“You….You’re nice…” You murmured. 

“Nice?” 

A warm, deep chuckle sent a shock down your spine.  

“I’m not a very nice man, love. If I was, I wouldn’t be fucking you.”

The stretch melted into something more- warmth flooding through your body, down into your limbs, fingers and toes, and sent you spiraling. Your head fell onto his shoulder, searching for more warmth- more comfort that seemed an endless feeling being so close to him. Your hips began moving of their own accord, your body seeking for the pleasure- while your mind became static, mouth hanging open- drool slowly escaping down your lip. 

“Fuck you feel so good darling-” He hummed. He began thrusting up into you, letting you set the pace. “So damn warm, and wet. Been eager for this, haven’t you?”

“Mhm…” You barely responded. “You feel so good Logan…” 

A soft gasp escaped him, a small scoff of disbelief. He couldn’t tell you how long it been for him, since he had something so sweet- and you, fuck you were something else. He called you his favorite girl for your pretty smiles and nice compliments and the fact that you served him as much whiskey as he wanted. Now though, as he gets a taste of burying himself deep in your cunt, watching you become limp against him because his cock just felt that good. You were more than just his favorite. 

You were going to be his obsession. 

His hands firmly gripped your ass, as he pushed his hips down to the edge of the seat, leaning back onto the leather cusion of the limo seat he began mercilessly thrusting up into you. 

A chorus of whines and moans filled his ears. He could feel your heavy pants on his neck- your nails dug so deep into his shirt that he could feel the divots you were pressing into his back. Each thrust, your cunt got tighter around him, squeezing him so hard as if you were trying to keep him from pulling out. With the way you were whimpering in his ear, you probably were. 

Thank god you sucked him off earlier. He’s not sure he would’ve been able to last this long. 

Each thrust, as he drilled into your pussy sent you in another world. You felt that warmth in your belly, rising higher and higher as he angled himself into you, listening to your moans grow louder and making sure to hit that spot that seemed to make you happiest. 

Says he isn’t nice, but look how he’s taking care of me

That’s what you thought to yourself, closing your mouth as you realized you have drooled onto his shirt. You never felt this good, so comfortable, and warm. When you were talking to Angela earlier about “living a little”, you didn’t expect the night to turn out like this.

At least you can go brag about it later.

“C’mon darling-” He turns his head, lips pressed against your ear. “I wanna feel that pretty pussy cum all over this cock.” 

“Oh, Logan!” You cried out, his words hit the final nail- sending you off into fireworks. Your hands scratched at his shirt, nearly ripping the fabric apart, you buried your face into his neck. Sobs wracked your body as wave after wave of pleasure rolled over you- Logan ceaseless as he continued fucking you through it. Your limbs were frozen, taking every single thrust without complaint as he slams into you. 

A loud grunt, “where d’ya want it baby?” He groans. You could barely respond, hanging onto him with what little energy you had left. He moaned, just barely pulling out in time for ropes of cum to shoot out, some spilling over his cock, and some painting over your weeping pussy. 

You could hear him panting- practically gasping for air as he tried to catch his breath. Your hand stroked soothingly over his chest, an attempt to give him some comfort- wondering if he pushed himself too hard. It’s not like you don’t notice his limp, or hear the fits of coughing he goes into some nights. 

However, for an older gentleman like him, he sure knew how to fuck.

The breathing of both of you eased. You sat on his lap, wrapped in his arms surrounded by the darkness of the limo, only the occasional headlights of a car driving by that shown into the limo, highlighting you and Logan’s embrace. 

“Need a ride home?” He finally breaks the silence. 

It was a quiet drive. Logan helped you get dressed, cleaned you up with napkins he kept in the front. 

Once you were in the passenger seat, and buckled up. He lit up a cigar, smoking it the entire drive. It was a comfortable silence, similar to the times when the bar was nearly empty- just you, Logan, and the cook who was finishing up in the kitchen. Sometimes you didn’t feel the need to force conversation, just sat with him while you sorted the silverware and took inventory of drinks. Logan was just good company, even if he didn’t seem to think so. 

He however, wondered what the ever living fuck was wrong with him. Why did he let his dick do all the thinking for the last hour? Ruin something nice. Maybe he liked you, maybe he’s fucked his fist to the thought of you nearly every night since he met you. That didn’t give him the right to do this. 

When he turned onto your street, is when you spoke up again.

“This was really nice, Logan.” 

Your voice drew him out of his self-hatred. He looked at you, not saying anything at first as he took a puff on his cigar. 

“I mean, I don’t know about you but…I enjoyed everything.” You say softly. “I don’t do this much, or really at all. I’m glad it was with you.” 

He rolled to a stop in front of your house. You turned to look at it, then back at him. “Well I’ll…see you around?”

“Yeah, sweetheart.” He responds, flicking the rest of the cigar out the window. He opens his door- confusing you as he steps out and walks around the front, now opening your door for you. You smiled, grabbing your bag as you stepped out. 

“Thank you.” 

You leaned forward, kissing his cheek. Turning to your house you began to walk up the sidewalk, before stopping halfway up the walkway- feeling his stare on your back. You turned around, fiddling with your bag as you tilted your head. Logan was leaning against the Chrysler, and your eyes met. 

There was no reason for the night to be over yet. 

“Logan…Do you want to come in?”

[baddiewiththebook]

Over the Years | e.m x reader | Prologue

-> The origin story of Eddie Munson, and how he fell in love with the worst person he possibly could - his best friend.

-> eddie munson x you (she/her)

-> friends to lovers, slow burn, angst

-> warnings - strong language, suggestive themes, smut [18+]

-> a/n I hope you're ready for a long series. This will cover the life of Eddie Munson, growing up in a trailer park and perhaps falling in love with you. Of course, there's a few complications on the way (perhaps his friend steals his girl - or maybe he becomes a rockstar and moves away) and the series includes so many tropes that I've chosen to keep them hidden away, so you don't get spoiled for later chapters. Muahaha! This will include smut, so PLEASE for the love of God, if you're under 18 - go away! Longer chapters await my friends. xo

-> <-

August 1970

This chair is uncomfortable.

Well, it’s for sure plastic. The static is making Eddie’s shirt sit uncomfortably on his body like a magnet that tethers him by an invisible line of Velcro. It’s not even his shirt. It’s his father’s old beaten shirt from a few years ago when he went to a car show.

It’s been forever. Eddie cranes his neck to stare at the big clock on the wall that he cannot read. The big hand is on the two and the little one is at the top on the twelve. It’s terribly late for him to be up, but that’s also what he thought when his father shook him awake and shoved him in the backseat of their car.

Letting his feet swing below him, Eddie wrestles in the plastic seat. Not a lot is going on around him.

It isn’t like how he sees on the televisions through the video store windows where the bad guy gets taken down by the cop. Although, his dad sure did put up a fight trying to get away from the cop. That doesn’t mean his dad is a bad guy though, right?

There’s only one cop sitting at his desk with papers stacked around him. He’s darker in skin tone with a fair amount of hair missing on top of his head. Wrinkles press the crown of his head. Scribbling something on the official looking sheet of paper, the cop mutters under his breath when the phone blares out an obnoxious ringing.

“Hello?” His southern draw laces into the phone call. “Yeah, send him in.”

The telephone is set back down onto the base, and the officer tilts his head at the young child occupying the seat next to his desk.

Edward Munson is the unforgettable boy. The wild child has a father made of criminal infamy in Hawkins, Indiana. It would appear that this time the old bastard has really gotten himself stuck for the long haul. Prison time. Long sheets of paperwork include one particular document that lists Wayne Munson, the uncle, as the child’s dependent as of right now.

Wayne bursts through the door with the secretary from the front desk. Eyes scorching from an exhausting drive after a terribly unrewarding shift at the factory, Wayne lays his gaze upon his disheveled nephew. Eddie doesn’t even have a proper shirt draped over his body. There’s not a doubt in Wayne’s mind that Al, his brother and the boy’s father, refused to pay a dime for clothes to cover his child.

It’s been a terrible struggle to encourage Al Munson to step up and become a father to his son. After his wife, Elizabeth, died, Al latched onto slots to fill the hole inside of his chest. Slowly, sleepovers at Uncle Wayne’s became a lot more routine and a lot longer stay for little Eddie.

That’s not to suggest that Eddie minds. Uncle Wayne has some pretty cool toys at his trailer. And, Wayne has a bed for him - unlike his dad, who lets him have the backseat of the car.

Al Munson gambled away all of his savings, and the house was foreclosed by the bank. He’s been avoiding his debts by living in his car with five-year old Eddie. That only worked for so long. Eventually, the police caught up to him.

Tonight Al was arrested for possession of illegal substances and a warrant from some time ago, and he is awaiting a trial that will most likely keep him locked away for a while.

“Hey, Eddie,” uncle Wayne approaches the small boy by dropping into a squat that’s closer to Eddie’s height. “Are you alright?”

Eddie bobs his head up and down.

“Sir,” the officer calls his attention. “I just need you to sign a few things and then we can release him to you.”

The secretary does the same as his uncle had done, and squats to his height. She’s very pretty. Pinned hair sits atop her head in a bun that’s shaped like an egg. Eddie giggles at this, his baby cheeks turning pink.

“Hi, Eddie,” she says sweetly. “Would you like a candy bar? You’ve been doing such an amazing job waiting for your Uncle.”

Her teeth are as white as diamonds. Dimples press her fleshy cheeks up, as she holds out a small chocolate bar in her hand. Well, Eddie has been spoiled tonight. Not only is he up past his bedtime, the officer that brought him here stopped to get him a hamburger first. And, now?

Eddie does take the chocolate bar kicking his feet with glee. The secretary helps open up the bar of chocolate for him, and he gobbles it down fast before his Uncle Wayne could see. Wayne thinks sugar keeps Eddie up at night.

Eddie keeps Eddie up all night.

It’s mere moments when his uncle returns to him, and the secretary waltzes back to her duties at her desk. Uncle Wayne gives his nephew the tightest hug, while hiding his tears in Eddie's shirt. It’s never ideal to have a brother, who refuses to take care of his child. The least Wayne could do is keep Eddie safe and out of harms way.

Holding a copy of the terminated parental rights of Alan Munson with one hand, Wayne scoops the boy up with his other and keeps him holstered onto his hip.

“Hold on,” Wayne directs.

Eddie clings to the plaid fabric of his uncle’s shirt collar. Too soon, will Eddie be grown up to where Wayne can’t coddle him anymore.

The walk out of the precinct is short. Eddie waves goodbye to the officers and the secretary, who took care of him for the hour that Wayne prepared his home and drove out here to get his nephew.

Wayne drives extra slow that evening, even though the roads are clear. Feeling heavy for the loss of a father, Eddie must learn life skills from his uncle. Not being a father himself, Wayne is apprehensive at best. There’s not a thing he wouldn’t do for this boy. When Eddie came into the world, Wayne became the third person to ever hold him. That comes after his mother, and his father.

There is so much hope in a newborn baby. No one has broken them yet. There’s still so many firsts to explore the big wide world.

Slowing at a stop, Wayne cranes his head into his overhead mirror. Eddie is lopped over the seat bucket with a pile of drool coming from between his lips. His eyes flash underneath his eyelids.

What Wayne doesn’t know, is that Eddie hasn’t had a real sleep in days. Ever since they lost the house, Eddie has kept one eye open in the backseat of his father’s car. Sleeping outside isn’t exactly peaceful. Horns honking. Babies crying. Someone’s always yelling. Not to mention his dad snores. Loud.

Wayne decides not to wake the sleeping boy when he does eventually pull in to his humble trailer. Killing the engine, Wayne quiets for a moment. The soft snore from his lips eventually turns into a groan, and the young boy kicks his legs out. Sitting upright and sleeping cannot possibly be comfortable.

The thought of raising a child has never crossed Wayne's mind. After Eddie had been born, Wayne swore children were too much for him to handle. They cry all the time, then you have to feed them and you have to make sure they're clean and not to mention that when they keep crying for no reason - you can't kill 'em. 'Suppose in a way Wayne has gotten the parenting thing down because of Eddie anyway. Being an uncle to Eddie is the best thing that's ever happened to him.

Eddie took his first steps right on that front porch in front of his house. Elizabeth, Eddie's mom, was leaving Eddie for a couple of hours for work, and Eddie grabbed onto one of the couches before wobbling after her.

Oh, how Wayne misses her. She was a saint of a woman. When she got sick, Wayne saw a different person in Al. He's not too harsh on his brother. It can't be easy missing the love of your life like that. But, the boy - Eddie stretches out when Wayne opens the back passenger door - Eddie should have been enough of a reason for Al to keep going.

Wayne unbuckles the boy, who slumps forward. Catching his head, Wayne slides his other hand underneath the young boy's knees. Eddie stirs. Wayne holds in his breath and he freezes. Eddie tilts his head, eyes batting sleepily, then leans forward into his uncle's heavily beating chest.

"Alright," Wayne whispers into his curls, "Come on."

Carrying him up the steps, Wayne tries a few times to open the front door. Getting the key in the lock is one trick, but now to actually open the door? It would probably have worked best if he had done this before carrying a hefty sleeping five year old. Noted.

Eventually, he twists the knob and pulls. He pulls enough, so that he can wedge his foot in the door. Grunting, Wayne twists around and scoots into the home.

Eddie begins to slide from his grasp, and Wayne juggles him a bit before he can fall. Eddie’s quite long for a five year old. Or, so he assumes. His limbs splay out like a praying mantis.

There’s an extra bedroom in the back of the trailer. Little robots and figurines take up most of the space where Wayne’s collection of books once were. A rickety wood desk that’s peeling apart is home to a number of old train car toys that Eddie really liked out of Wayne’s collection.

Tucking Eddie in to the old twin bed he bought at the thrift store with nearly half his paycheck, the young child is surrounded by a plush layer of blankets and pillows. But, Eddie still clung to his uncle. Finally, someone who cares about him enough. Doubt scrambles Eddie’s mind and he wonders sleeplessly if his uncle would be there when he woke up.

It doesn’t take Wayne much convincing to slip into the tiny twin bed along side his nephew. Tiny mewls escape Eddie’s tired lips. Since he’s so scrawny and lengthy, Wayne has no trouble taking up the empty space in bed with him.

“You’re safe,” Wayne whispers into that wild mane of hair. “I’ve got you, now.”

-> <-

[June 1972]

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do I portray two people falling in love slowly when neither of them really understands love or has ever truly been in love/loved by anyone? Like, they're both slowly learning what love is and how to love with each other.

Learning What Love Is via Falling in Love

Every person and situation is different, and it also depends on what kind of love we're talking about here. If you just mean that they haven't experienced romantic love, that's a different situation than someone who also didn't grow up in a loving household.

Didn't Grow Up in a Loving Household - Sadly, some people reach adulthood without having experienced consistent and unconditional love from the people who raised them. This can lead to a constant fear of abandonment in adult relationships (including friendships, work partnerships, familial relationships, and romantic relationships), which can result in putting up emotional barriers ("putting up walls") to avoid being vulnerable and giving someone the opportunity to hurt them by giving love and then taking it away. It can also lead the person to pursue unloving /unrewarding relationships, intentionally or not. So, a person in this situation has truly not experienced love, or if someone did genuinely love them, they wouldn't have believed it.

What's important to remember about someone like this is there's a difference between never having experienced love--or not believing it was real when it was being experienced--and not knowing or understanding what real love is. Unless your character lives under a rock, odds are they have been exposed to healthy loving relationships of all kinds over the years. They have associated with people (be they friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, or characters in media) who love and are loved by others... they've spent time with married friends who truly love each other, they've witnessed their neighbors' love for their children, they've read books or watched movies with romantic plots or subplots... So they can recognize love, they just fear that they are undeserving of love themselves (because it was never given to them consistently and/or without conditions) or they're too afraid to trust that love is real.

Some things to consider when portraying this situation:

1 - Awareness of childhood emotional wounds/impact on relationships matters. Many people tend to be aware of their childhood emotional wounds and have some understanding of how they impact their relationships, even if they feel somewhat helpless to change things. Many people seek to heel from these emotional wounds either on their own or via therapy, and that would certainly impact how a person moves through a healthy romantic relationship.

2 - What's different in this case? You'll need to figure out (and portray) what makes this relationship different. A good bet is that these characters feel a kinship due to sharing similar emotional wounds from childhood and having had similar impacts. That doesn't necessarily mean they won't still build walls, be free from fears of abandonment, or will believe the love is real right off the bat, but that recognized kinship creates a bit of traction for the healthy relationship to build and also creates a bit of a mutual safety net... "they won't hurt me because they don't want to be hurt by me."

3 - The subtle signs of love will be the same but probably more reserved, hesitant, and slower. This will be a real "slow burn," and there will probably be some setbacks relating specifically to fears of abandonment and issues of self-worth and trust. The Subtle Signs of Romantic Interest and Love Guide: Writing a Slow Burn Romance Guide: Characters Falling in Love Guide: Creating Romantic Chemistry

Grew Up in a Loving Household But Hasn't Experienced Real Romantic Love - Even when people do grow up consistently and unconditionally loved by those who raised them, people can still get off on the wrong foot with romantic relationships. This can especially be the case when a first romantic relationship isn't loving, because it can lead someone to be in a string of loveless relationships. In this case, the emotional trauma will probably be more subtle... they may not even be aware of it unless a wise family member, friend, or therapist has pointed it out to them. The person won't feel unlovable, they'll feel like they're just not worthy of romantic love. They also probably won't have the same trust and abandonment issues, but rather a disbelief that any show of romantic love must be insincere--like the person must have ulterior motives or something.

In this case, too, it's not that they don't know what romantic love is or looks like. It's not that they don't understand it. It's just that they don't feel like they're deserving of it because no one has ever given it to them before (even if someone did and they simply didn't believe it was real). So the obstacle here will be for the character/s to learn to trust one another, and again--if they have that kinship of having emotional wounds related to love (you could even have one character have an unloved childhood and one character never in a loving romance if you wanted) is still what gives it traction. The links above still apply, again you're just doing things a little slower and navigating the obstacles related to the resulting issues.

I hope that helps!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

♦ Questions that violate my ask policies will be deleted! ♦ Please see my master list of top posts before asking ♦ Learn more about WQA here

[pedulum-chronometry]

After seeing so many people, my dad included, say that Severence is ‘slow to start’ or ‘tedious’ or ‘unrewarding to watch’ I have a theory.

People who are entrenched in corporate hierarchy or have to deal with it enough that they develop a tolerance for it, do not watch Severance the same way the rest of us do.

For people living with the corporate bullshit daily, Severance is just a weird office show with a funky premise. They absolutely do not clock anything as too terribly out of place until way too late.

I saw someone say that the S1 waffle party was such a weird out-of-left field thing for the show to do and they felt it was unnecessary. They got that far in thinking it was like a sci-fi office mystery or something and the cult elements inherent in corporate power structure and control just didn’t land with them at all.

It’s like people not being able to smell themselves because they’re too used to their own baseline scent. They are nose blind.

My current theory is this: How far you get into Severence before you actively clock something is wrong is approximately how much corporate culture poising you have. I’ve decided to call it the Severance bias. Thank you for your time.

[rosalinesurvived]

Suehiro “For just five minutes I will place Jouno above justice” Tecchou coming to the slow creeping dawning clinging horrifying realisation that everyone in his group has just been brutally killed off by his captain–who brought them all together for the sake of stopping a war that never even existed, and also everyone in his group-including him-were nothing more than children dragged through the mud for the sake of being ‘slaves to society’.

Suehiro “There is evil that goes unpunished and good that goes unrewarded” Tecchou coming to the very, very, very slow realisation that his friends who fought for years on the side of supposed justice are dead, he is alone, and they never were or will be rewarded because it was their captain who cut them down, who himself turned them from street children and child soldiers into government experiments, lab rats, almost taking away their humanity, has been manipulated for decades, realising that the line between good and evil is so blurred that he can hardly even see it anymore.

The world no longer makes sense to him.

[secondclarinet]

fundamentals work feels so frustrating and unrewarding I know that fixing my hand position will help me down the line but right now it just feels infuriatingly slow

[try-not-to-die-comics]

With the new Runaways comic dropping this week, all I have to say is that I hope this isn't two issues of stories stretched into five. Rainbow Rowell's previous series was painfully slow, and unrewarding for monthly followers. Especially in the later half. My opinion on that has not changed on rereads.

Runaways is one of the few non-creator owned comics I'm willing to follow more or less regardless of quality. That's a personal flaw. But I definitely appreciate a good comic.

Elena Casagrande's art is fantastic, so I'm not concerned in regards to the construction of the series. Just the narrative foundation.

[kedreeva]

hi Ked! congratulations on your word count milestone! that is amazing, especially with a full time job.

I was wondering if you had any thoughts or advice on writing regularly when you're tired from work. I'm a slow writer myself, and it's very frustrating to finish a work day and realize that I gave the best of myself and my energy to my employer.

Thank you!

I can't really say what will work for you, but for me, it helped to designate a time and space for writing. Human brains LOVE a good pattern, and setting up a time and space instigates pattern recognition. It's why you're not supposed to, like, do other stuff than sleeping in your bed space, because if the only thing you do in your bed space is sleeping, then when you enter bed space at bed time, your brain goes Ah ha, it is time for sleep, PREPARE and it becomes easier to fall asleep (typically, obviously).

Designating a time and space ALSO means you are specifically making time for writing (rather than just "I'll do it at some point") and that it has a start time and a stop time. LOTS of brains don't work well without a deadline, and "I'm gonna sit down to write" doesn't push the same button as "I will sit here for 15 minutes and write, then writing time is over." It's why racing others is so effective most of the time- because there's a time limit. Often a brain can rally easier if the task has an endpoint to look forward to or "beat" so to speak.

If you don't have friends to race with (you can join my writing discord and do races there), then there's always sites or programs like written? Kitten! or 4thewords or Fighter's Block or Write Or Die. Personally I prefer WOD2, I purchased the app and it's a good way push solo. You set an amount of time, you set a word count you want to reach, and you set a stimulus you do not want to receive for stopping writing. For mine, the screen begins turning red and if I stop writing long enough, the program starts eating my words. So the task goes from "write" to "play game called keep WOD from eating my words."

The thing about the above stuff is that the ACT of writing can feel very unrewarding when you're just writing and not getting anything- it's part of why we share fanfic and stuff online, because then we're getting the reward of comments or discussion. Before you post or publish or otherwise share, you're just.... doing a task. and not getting anything from it, except getting it out of your system or getting to read what you wrote and sometimes the latter feels more like a chore than the writing did. But writing socially (finding a writer's group, finding friends to share with, finding a fandom to talk about your work with etc) or making writing a game or at the very least getting little treats for accomplishing words can alleviate some of that, and make it easier to do.

So, sometimes i do races, sometimes I play games, sometimes I give myself little pictures of kittens or puppies, sometimes I set out a row of small candies (like jellybeans or m&ms or something) and I get to eat one for every sentence I write. Sometimes I frame writing as the reward; "okay, me, we are gonna put away clean dishes, and load the dishwasher, and then we can write for 10 minutes!"

[silentsialia]

Singapore GP 2023 Reflection

Singapore is now my favorite race of the season. I liked it even more than Monza and Silverstone. The race started off slow but those last 15 laps were everything

Charles going from P3 to P4 doesn't look too bad on paper. But considering they asked him to create a 5 second gap to Carlos and a 5.7 s pitstop, I wouldn't be surprised if he started cussing everyone out. Not to mention Max closed the gap to him in like 20 s.

Carlos is a well-rounded driver. Good at tire management, good strategist, and he's been like the best qualifier this whole season. If you told me that he would be the one to end RedBull's streak at the beginning of the year, I wouldn't have believed you. He was scoring points but he wasn't really on the podium. I would have thought Fernando would have been the one to do it

Speaking of Carlos, we saw him keeping Lando within DRS to fight off other cars like we did in Austria. Something about Carlando teaming up despite being on different teams is so special to me. Idk a better friendship on the grid

Esteban putting in all that work & overtaking just to DNF because of reliability issues suuuuucks. Especially on his birthday 😭

Saw Pierre for like 2 seconds and what we did see was pretty cool. Good for him for scoring points.

Fernando having a disasterclass was not on my bingo card. I need Aston Martin to bounce back and go back to how they were at the beginning of the season.

Checo not getting investigated for taking Yuki out is part of my conspiracy on how RedBull is paying off the stewards. Idgaf if I sound crazy but something is up and you can't tell me otherwise. At least he's getting investigated for the incident with Alex

Lewis was the fastest car out of the top 4 in the final laps. What I wanted to happen was for him to overtake George on lap 60 and for him to cook. I wanted him on the podium by overtaking, not because George took himself out. But he's now 3rd in the driver's standings so it's all cool

George you had everything within your grasp like what happened 😭 I know he's going to be beating himself up a lot about this and I feel pretty bad. I'm sure he will bounce back at Suzuka.

Congrats to Liam on scoring points! You deserve that AlphaTauri seat more than Daniel does 🥳

If Yuki was actually able to race, I definitely think he would have scored points. Fastest RedBull in quali and it went unrewarded. And the worst part is that I think nobody on his team will defend him. I just want him to have a seat on the grid next year. There's a voice in the back on my head saying that he's gonna be replaced next year and I really hope that's not true. Please let him finish a race again 😭😭😭

[jadagul]

Finished Final Fantasy XIII tonight. (Might go back and do some of the hunts etc. postgame, but I'm Officially Done.)

I liked it but was kind of disappointed. I'd rank it above XII and also I think above X-2, but definitely below 5,6,7, 9, 10. (I hated VIII, unfortunately.)

Interestingly, my core complaint is the exact opposite of my complaints about FFXII. The core story was quite good! There were six characters, they all made sense as characters, the main story was tight and compelling and all the beats basically landed. (Except I have a specific complaint about the ending below the cut.)

But there was essentially no side content, at all. They imagined this big world but you never get to see any of it. Presumably because developing all that out would be extremely expensive, but Watsonianly because you're all fugitives on the run and so need to hide from people.

But it makes all the environments feel incredibly artificial. All of them are straight-line paths that never take you past anything you could interact with. There's less side questing than any game since at least four, and I think fewer side conversations with NPCs since the Famicom and possibly since ever. Everything feels so thin.

Compare this with, say, FFX, which my girlfriend is playing through right now. There's so much thought put into how the environments would work. Obviously they're somewhat artificial, but all the temples have side rooms whose only real purpose is to look like the sort of rooms that the temple would have to have. Lots of characters you can chat with who say the sorts of things people in the world would say. The story in FFX is just as linear as the story in XIII, and the dungeons are honestly about as linear too. But the world feels real because you can poke around and talk to people.

And the combat system in XIII is moderately cool but at some point started just feeling long. I did mostly the same thing in every battle but they all took like two minutes, which made stuff toward the end feel like a slog. There was a window in like Chapter 11 where everything felt great, but then it slowed down again. Combined with the shit-to-nonexistent fast travel system, it makes messing around feel really unrewarding.

Specific spoilery ending complaint below the cut:

One thing I didn't like about this story is that it falls really, really hard for a classic JRPG problem: you spend the entire story advancing the villain's plot.

I commented before that I appreciated some of the lampshade they hung on this. But they never really moved past it: you're just following Barthandelus's plan the entire time, until literally partway through the final boss.

And that means that none of your fights are actually accomplishing anything, and that makes everything feel empty. This happens every time you face Barthandelus. The first two times, you fight him (in fairly challenging fights), then when you beat him he monologues at you, gives you a thing, and fucks off. Literally nothing in the story would change if you just skipped the fight sequence entirely—it's not even a "Ah, I see you are stronger than I thought, but I will return". The narrative doesn't acknowledge the fight at all!

And this builds up to the ending. You fight a two-phase boss fight, and in the second phase I spent the entire time going "wait, wasn't the whole point to avoid killing the dude we are currently killing?" And then you win, and you get an extended cutscene full of good character beats. But (1) you have no agency in these beats, and (2) they're basically unrelated to the fights you just had.

And then you get a third phase boss fight, and when you win you get a shorter cutscene with a couple more good character beats. But again, these beats are unrelated to your ability to win any fights. The story would be exactly the same if the fights just didn't happen at all.

And like, the story is still good! But it is the story for a game and it makes the game part feel super anticlimactic, with none of your actual gameplay events mattering. Was just kind of a letdown!

[andmaybegayer]

it's hack week at work so I'm writing a Language Server for one of our build tooling files, and I forgot how much fun programming can be when you have a clear and measurable goal which can be achieved in a relatively predictable timespan.

Problems that arise here are like "Figure out how to send debug messages to the editor" and "Find out why only five matches are appearing" or "decide on how to structure the docstrings for faster access."

My normal day job problems are like "Hey. You know the entire Linux kernel multidisk subsystem. Well the customer says they're getting these three error messages. They cannot under any circumstances test code on their system, which is set up in a massive high availability cluster that you can't replicate, and no one on earth has ever hit this exact problem before. Actually one of those error messages is known to be a lie that just hasn't been fixed in that kernel version. So. Do you know what's up?"

It's not hard, really, the hard stuff is handled by system developers who know their shit, it's just slow and unrewarding and intractable.

[cyberphuck]

If you're still doing tarot readings do me pleaaaaase 🥺

Oh, it’s been slow going, and everyone is fucking pissing you off because they are not doing their jobs and because of them, you are being held back. Maybe it’s time to get away.

I’m going to talk about the knight of pentacles first, because he is a Taurus and I know you are too. This guy is a workhorse, not the fastest or the most talented, but he’s putting one foot in front of the other and making slow, incremental progress and not letting anything distract him from it.

Meanwhile, the three little shits in the three of pentacles reversed seem like they’re never paying enough attention to their work and when they do decide to get something done they give the absolute most C minus effort they can. I think this card is telling me that you are part of a team, but like every school project there’s one person who does all the work while quietly hoping that they can ask the teacher to be graded by themselves so they don’t get pulled down by these guys.

The first card, the six of swords, is one that’s puzzling me, and hopefully you will find more meaning in it than I can. The six of swords shows a man in a boat, taking himself and (in the Rider-Waite version) a few other passengers across water. The card indicates that sometime soon would be a good time to get away, maybe even deciding to move to an entirely different place. Whether it’s just a transfer or an extended vacation or an apartment swap, the six of swords says that the very last day of January or the first week of February is going to be a good time to travel. Combined with the rest of the spread, I’m wondering if you’re thinking of moving to greener pastures to get away from a very frustrating and unrewarding work life.

[christmasintheloonybin]

trying to begin the painful and entirely unrewarding journey towards going back to school. I feel motivated today and I hope this can continue into tomorrow.

my brain can really only deal with a few things at a time, it's stupid. I mean if i have one major task i can do it completely and enjoy myself most of the time doing it. if I have three major tasks, or even one major tasks and two side quests i can't do anything and I'm just sitting here miserable watching life pass me by. so I'm trying to think of ways to cope with it, I think the most effective is to say "do SOMETHING" the worst comes when you do nothing. anything is better than doing nothing. one phone call is better than zero phone calls.

what kills me about pretty much everything in the world is how slow the going is. how difficult it is to improve your life even marginally. I'll work myself up like I'm going to war and then fill out paperwork and they'll say "okay wait three months and then fill out more paperwork." what kills me is waiting. beaurocracy smothers all life. when, if you want to live life and do something fast, it's so easy to destroy your life, I mean tomorrow I could start smoking crack and live under the bridge. but if I want to go to college it is months and months of waiting. and by the time you achieve a victory it doesn't feel like a victory at all. it is so difficult just to stay motivated. I've never been one to "trust the process." I want to do things on my own terms.

[drdemonprince]

Student worker anon- my job is currently tied to my housing so quitting isn’t an option

Oh, are you an RA? If so I am not surprised about the invasiveness then. It's a cop job and they also act like cops to you. I hope you can find something less...oppressively institutional in the next year! In the meantime, I would consider complaining up the chain about the invasiveness of your boss. Students feeling surveiled and violated by a supervisor is often enough for a university to do something about. You are both a customer and an employee, so if you can find ways to complain to people within the university who see you more as a customer, you'll be listened to more. But it is hard and perilous if youre on a lot of need based aid and they know that about you. Good luck, I hope you find someone to take this complaint seriously! In the meantime, grey rock technique (google it) this boss as much as possible. Make yourself boring, flat, affectless, slow, unrewarding to bully.

[sopranoentravesti]

Constantly fighting against deconditioning and trying to slow the osteopenia/ prevent osteoporosis is so frustrating and unrewarding when no matter what I do to build strength and endurance it’s like “walk 100 feet —> need to sit from being winded walk another 50 feet—> need to sit because winded” ad nauseum (literally).

Like I’m sure it would be worse if I stopped, and like, I’m doing better than I was before I got crutches/ my Rollator but my endurance is eroding and I just wish I could build myself up and see results from exercise / set and meet sustainable goals.