#so shut the fuck up yankee

[tornoaserjo]

Tots els yankees naixeu tontos o vos crien per a ser-ho? This is an honest question, because the point im making is que sou uns putos flipats de merda incapaços de pensar mai en ningú que no sou vosaltres. Que sou sempre el centre del món i no sou capaços de reconeixer-ho ni de fer autocrítica mai.

it is actually so tone deaf going through social media and seeing the stark contrast between content from spain, all centered around the tragedy in valència (there's 155 reported deaths but around 1200 disappears), and people i follow from the rest of the world just talking about halloween and the freaking u.s. elections (i couldn't care less about them right now honestly)

[grandwretch]

bruh my steroids are giving me a fever and the yankees won their game and im having a migraine can this day get any fucking worse

[vasyandii]

💡RAM & CAM⚒️

Included are my headcanons of AM's Older Brothers, and some explanations of their designs! (I took big inspo with CAM's design from @kibutsulove so please go check out their design as well!) Yes this pertains to VernonAM, No I can't shut up about them.

RAM (Yaroslav Machavariani)

Physically 53, around 6' (182 cm) in height.

Greying hairs, scaring around the cheek area.

Colour palette is blue leaning.

His Emblem is Я (Ya) for the Russian word "I", "I am"

RAM can speak with his mouth, however, his hearing is subdued (Think "Hear No Evil")

Because he can't hear that well in his physical form, he's extremely loud. To the point his jaw almost fell off, hence the scarring.

Perpetual smirk, as if he is scheming something.

Despite his looks, he is not the oldest Mastercomputer.

"MY LITTLE BROTHER FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!! THANK GOD, I WOULD BE SO EMBARRASSED TO BE RELATED TO A LOSER!"

CAM (Shengli "Samson" Min)

Physically age ambiguous (55), 5'10 (178 cm), still taller than Yankee AM

Monolids/Epicanthic folds, mole near nose

Colour palette is red leaning

His Emblem is 是 (Shi) as in 我是 (Wo Shi); "I am."

CAM is unable to use his mouth to speak, often having difficulty with his mechanical jaw. (Think "Speak No Evil")

He relies on his omnipresence or hand gestures to convey his messages. His hearing is extremely good, unfortunately.

Extremely observant. Sick of AM and RAM's shit, still gets them out of trouble.

The oldest brother, he's so tired, let him take a nap. Please.

"Look at her. Am I crazy, she doesn't look well adjusted. She- she's trying to eat the slug. Okay. Fun. Happy for you two. Fucking freaks."

((their mechanical designs totally aren't political/government commentary COUGH COUGH, if you don't see me in 5 days assume I've been killed and replaced by a body double))

[r7leee]

beggars can be choosers | r.h.

merry christmas ig @liseytopia (jk love you babe)

pairing: rodrick heffley x fem!reader

summary: your boyfriend’s parents are out, yet again, for the weekend. rodrick’s idea of fun is sneaking into a concert, but that’s easier said than done

warnings: cursing, greg being a walking punching bag (again), nothing else rlly!!

word count: 1,401, should take about 11 minutes to read

THE HEFFLEYS WERE probably one of the most dysfunctional families you’d ever seen. the spoiled youngest brother, narcissistic middle brother, lazy (but ever so charming) oldest brother, the clueless mom, and the tired dad. and just to put the cherry on the cake, how the parents did nothing to fix it and actually left so often.

this weekend was an example. susan and frank were going to be gone for a weekend outing to the beach. but, they had no intention to bring their two oldest sons with them.

of course, you didn’t mind. not in the slightest. it just gave you more time to run around and cause trouble with rodrick. and without them knowing!

that’s exactly what was going to happen. to prepare, you drove to the edge of the heffley’s street about fifteen minutes before their parents would leave. you had all your essentials: a change of clothes, pajamas, makeup.

then you sat and watched, waiting for their car to pull out of the driveway. sure enough, a little while later, you saw rodrick’s parents and brother get in their car and drive off. perfect.

the second they were out of eyesight, you pulled your car into the parking lot, replacing theirs, and practically sprinted to the front steps.

you didn’t even knock, rodrick already knowing you’d be coming. without a moment to spare, he flung the front door open, beckoning you to come inside.

you smiled up at him as you walked in and shut the door behind you. even in your heels, you were still a notch shorter than him. “hi,�� you greeted, your gleaming eyes looking into rodrick’s face.

“hi, babe.” he leaned down, pressing a chaste and fast kiss on your lips. you heard a gagging sound from the other side of the room.

turning your head, you saw rodrick’s brother, greg, in the living room. “why are you still here, shit for brains?” rodrick exclaimed.

“i was…getting water-” greg tried to explain before being cut off.

“you know what, i don’t wanna hear it.” he made a “go away” motion with his hand. “shoo.” greg just sighed and went upstairs. rodrick didn’t move until he heard the sound of his bedroom door closing.

he turned back to you, placing his hands on your waist. “you ready for the best weekend of your life?”

“you know me.”

the first half of the day was spent out and about. running around the plainview mall, going into hot topic, trying on clothes that you didn’t buy. going into record stores, browsing the selections. renting a movie from blockbuster. taking cute photos in the photobooth (you kissing his cheek, of course.) getting kicked out of yankee candle after rodrick clumsy dropped a candle (by doing a stupid, stupid dance then knocking it over with his elbow.)

after a few hours there, you knew you couldn’t call if there. so, taking a step further, you drove into the big city. just to look.

the places were all too fancy and expensive and the people too sophisticated, but it was almost comforting. you were so out of place but it was so right.

to be honest, rodrick didn’t entirely want to drive out here for no personal gain. but he knew you. and he would do almost anything to see that look in your eyes.

after a quick drive and a stop at the ocean, you headed back. the day alone was nice. you couldn’t wish for anything more as you two drove back to the heffley house.

on the way home, you planned out the rest of the day; go home, stay up late watching movies (and maybe making out), go to sleep late at night, then fuck off the next day.

suddenly, rodrick passed a small concert venue. on the sign read “bowling for soup: tonight.” you nudged rodrick in the shoulder. “hey. did you know these guys were coming?”

you pointed to the sign on your right, rodrick reading it. his eyes widened. “no. holy shit, we should go.”

you laughed and shook your head. “rodrick, i know you don’t have money for tickets.” his smile dropped, but quickly returned as he thought about something.

“who said we needed money?”

THE SECOND YOU opened the front door, rodrick was trotting up the stairs with an almost fearful demeanor. “greeeeeg!” he called out, shoes pounding up the stairs.

you watched him with a confused but amused look on your face. you followed in his footsteps, watching as he slammed his younger brother’s door open. greg, who was reading a comic book, looked over at him. “what do you want?”

rodrick walked slowly, then sat next to him on the bed. “how would you like to make your dear old brother and his girlfriend happy?” greg looked at him and replied sarcastically, “i’m good, thanks.”

rodrick let out a fake laugh before going serious. “well, it’s either that, or i call up holly hills right now and tell her you hate her stupid. guts.”

you knew there was no way that was possible; no way he had her number. but you knew for a fact that greg was gullible. and that you had a free ticket to a concert.

only fifteen minutes later, greg was in the back of the van, trying his hardest to not slam against the wall. you felt a little bad for the kid. a little being the key word.

the ride consisted of rodrick blasting some band you didn’t know while his hand was on your thigh. you knew greg was gagging in the back. “this show. babe…it’s gonna be amazing. it’s gonna be radical.”

you snorted. “radical?”

“ya. radical,” he repeated, confidence in his tone.

after taking the long drive to the city, rodrick parked somewhat near the venue. he unbuckled the seatbelt and turned to greg. “here’s the plan, squirt. you’re gonna go in there, distract those employees, then you’re gonna wait in the van as we get in. got it?”

it was clear there was some fear in greg’s eyes, but he knew there was no choice. so, he nodded. “good.”

rodrick got out of the van, opening the side door for greg to get out as you got out as well. rodrick leaned against the side of the van, gripping your waist as greg walked in.

after a minute, you two walked in. inside the venue was a couple lines leading to the box office, then people inspecting tickets near it. greg was pushing to the front of the office. you sat back and watched as he tried to get inside without a ticket. “you ever think you’re too mean on him?”

he shrugged and wrapped an arm around your waist. “it builds character.” greg had started to push past and try to run in, the employees running after him. that was your cue.

immediately, you pushed past people, trying to get to the front. you could see the employees dealing with greg as you made it to the front. quickly, rodrick took your hand and jolted to the nearest bathroom.

you two laughed as you went into the men’s room and into the handicapped stall. you tried to suppress your laughs. “rodrick!”

“i told you it’d work, did it not?”

after a couple minutes of laying low, you went to general admission section. rodrick had plenty experience with this. taking your hand, he pushed past people, trying to get as close as possible. only the best for you.

when you stopped, it was only a few rows from the front. you’d never been this close to the stage for any concert (which you’d only been to a couple.) it felt surreal to you and rodrick could tell. he smiled at you. “shocked?”

all you could do was smile and nod. he chuckled. “you’re cute.”

it only took a little while for the show to start. you didn’t know the band that well and nor did rodrick but that didn’t matter. you two danced and sang to the songs you did know, joining the energy with the crowd. you felt free.

the concert went by, and after, all the people started to file out. rodrick let out a sigh, his body sweaty. “you good?” he asked.

“more than good,” you confirmed. he smiled and kissed your forehead.

“come on, let’s get home. see if greg’s still in one piece.”

[illdowhatiwantthanks]

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Casey Novak x autistic fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI. Graphic sex, oral, fingering, language, homophobia, homophobic slurs. Word count: 2,443 "Onions and relish!?" you observed, watching Casey scoop condiments onto a ballpark hot dog. Your face screwed up. "Gross."

"I've got highbrow taste," Casey retorted, glancing at yours. "And you shouldn't talk. Ketchup and mustard? Are you five?"

"It's a classic," you argued, both pushing your way through the crowded line of Yankees fans waiting for their own ballpark snacks.

You returned to your seats, up in the nosebleeds along with a scattering of other die-hard baseball fans, the humming of a summertime crowd and the buzzing of the lights wrapping around you like a blanket. You heard the crack of a bat, and both you and Casey froze, watching the field.

"Yes!" you yelled, pumping your fist in the air as your team–the Cardinals–drove in another run. "Fuckin' Redbirds!"

Normally, you'd be a lot more self-conscious about drawing attention to yourself in a crowd like this–almost exclusively Yankees fans, including your girlfriend. When the Yankees weren't playing the Cardinals, you wore some of Casey's Yankees gear and cheered them on with her. But the Cardinals? They'd been your family's team for generations. You'd grown up on Pujols and Molina and Wainwright, and you were nothing if not loyal. But in this crowd, you stood out amongst the black-and-white like a red thumb. Casey had looked embarrassed, and you'd worried for a moment that she really was bothered by your vocal support of the away team.

"Am I embarrassing you?" you'd asked.

"Yes."

"In a bad way?"

Casey looked at you and smiled at your serious expression. "No, honey. Like, embarrassing but it's endearing. Does that make sense?"

You thought about it for a moment. "I think so. You would tell me if I was bad embarrassing?"

"I would," she confirmed, patting your hand.

It was one of your favorite things about Casey that she was so patient when you misread or didn't understand social cues. She never made fun of you. She always explained, and she always reassured you when you were afraid you'd done something wrong.

But this time it was definitely Casey who had done something wrong. You watched her shove a bite of hot dog into her mouth, beautifully messy, as always when she wasn't at work.

"Your whole mouth is gonna taste like pickles for the rest of the night," you muttered, taking a bite of your own hot dog.

She looked at you, smirking. "And why are you so concerned about my mouth, huh?"

You blushed. "No reason..."

"Mmhm." She took another bite, smug, then grasped your chin, pulling you to her for a kiss. Her lips were salty with sweat, and she smelled like the ballpark dust and the leather of her glove. She was intoxicating, but then you always felt lightheaded when Casey kissed you. Something about the stadium lights and the summer heat just made you that much more dazed.

"That's fuckin' hot," you heard someone say behind you. You shrank and glanced back, Casey's hand squeezing yours protectively. Two men, unshaven, with beers to go with their beer bellies, leered at you from the row behind.

"Nobody asked you, asshole," Casey shot back, flipping him off. You avoided eye contact with them, trying to make yourself smaller. Having grown up in the south, you'd been in enough unsafe situations because of your sexuality that your go-to defense was to ignore and hide. Casey's was not. She was tall and strong, and she'd grown up with absolute confidence in who and what she was.

Your nostrils flared in disgust as one of the men licked his lips, raking his eyes up and down Casey's body.

"What's a hot piece like you doing with a dyke? You oughta let a real man take you for a spin."

Casey stood and pushed him–hard. The man reeled, sloshing his beer all over his front. "You better shut your fucking mouth or I'll shut it for you," she growled.

The man's arm shot out, grabbing Casey by the back of her head. He dug his fingers into her hair to pull her closer. "That's okay, honey," he said. "I like 'em feisty."

Any fear you had dissipated into white hot anger as you watched, as if in slow motion. You, however, were not stuck in slow motion. Without thinking, you lunged forward, grabbed the man's wrist, and wrenched it back until he squealed. You shoved Casey behind you.

"Get your fucking hands off her!" you spat, puffing yourself up as you stood between him and your girlfriend. Which, considering your diminutive height, probably didn't do a whole lot to deter him.

Your teeth clenched and your whole body buzzed with rage. It took a lot to make you angry, but you were spitting angry now. All you knew was that no one–no one–was going touch Casey on your watch.

The man laughed, knocking your cap off your head with a swipe of his finger. "And what are you gonna do about it, Tiny Tim? Or should I say Tiny Tina?"

Without warning and, for once, without considering the consequences, you slammed your first into his groin as hard as you could which, considering you played softball, was pretty damn hard. It was a perk of your height that you were at the optimal angle to punch someone in the dick.

The man doubled over, coughing, and spilled the rest of his beer. "Fuckin' dykes," he muttered. He motioned to his friend, cupping his balls, and they sidled off. Probably looking for another section to harass women in.

You let out a shaky breath and turned to face Casey, your heart beating rapidly as the adrenaline faded and the nerves returned.

"Are you okay?" you asked, frantically looking her over, placing a gentle hand at the back of her head where the man had grabbed her.

You hardly noticed Casey watching you, biting her lip. You were too concerned with making sure she was safe and unharmed. As you rambled, checking her hands and neck and hair and face for any signs of hurt, Casey stared.

Finally, she interrupted you. "Y/N."

You stopped and made yourself meet her eyes.

"I think we should go." She looked at you pointedly.

You face fell. "Oh, love. I'm so sorry. We can go home if it'll make you feel better."

"No, that's not why."

A look of confusion crossed your face.

"We should go home because we have things to do."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "I don't understand what you're saying, Casey."

She stepped closer, placing your hat back on your head and her arms on your shoulders. Her expression was self-satisfied as she leaned in, so close you could feel her breath, and whispered into your ear.

"Y/N," she breathed. "I need to do things. To you. Now."

"Oh," you said, the realization hitting you. "Oh my god. Okay."

You started gathering your things, then stopped and glanced at her. "From this? Really?"

"Y/N," she said, cheeks already flushed. "Don't make me wait. I'm gonna have a hard enough time making it home."

You tried to hide the mixture of shock and excitement on your face as you left the stadium, walking by the now abandoned concession stands and into the quiet parking lot.

"What's the alternative?" you asked her as you climbed into the driver's seat.

"What?"

"To making it home. You said you were gonna have a hard time making it home. But, like, where else would we–"

You were cut off by Casey's lips on yours, her breath hot and desperate as she grabbed your collar. She slid her tongue into your mouth, her teeth clacking against yours as she surged toward you, pushing for more.

When you separated, you both breathed heavily. Casey's face was flushed with lust. "If it were up to me," she said, leaning back in the seat. "I would've fucked you in the ballpark bathroom. I'd take you right here in the car. But I know that's not your style, so for the love of god..." Her eyes bored into you. "Drive."

Usually a slow driver, you made it back to Casey's apartment in record time. And, true to her word, Casey did have a hard time making it to the apartment, stopping at every chance she got–stoplights, outside the car door, in the elevator, the hallway–to kiss your neck, your mouth, undoing buttons of your Cardinals jersey as you went. Her hands slipped inside your shirt whenever you stopped for so much as a second.

When she finally got you into her bedroom, she was ravenous, tugging your clothes off and tossing them to the side with a singular focus. Her eyes were glazed and her face red as she struggled with your bra clasps.

"Fucking hell," she muttered, her fingers fumbling.

"Jesus, Casey," you said, reaching back to do them for her. "Calm down."

She groaned, letting her eyes rove over your now nude body, pushing you gently but forcefully on your back. She pecked you on the lips, then took your bottom lip between her teeth. You gasped, filled with both pain and pleasure. When she let you go, she was grinning.

"I'm gonna make you feel so..." She kissed your neck. "Fucking." Your collarbone. "Good." She lowered herself over you and pressed her mouth into yours, breathing you in, letting her tongue roam freely.

You moaned, arching your back. "Don't hold back on me now," she growled, leaving bite marks down your neck and across your chest. Usually quiet, you gave yourself permission to make some noise. After all, it drove Casey crazy.

"Fuck, Casey," you whined as she swirled her tongue across your nipples, first one and then the other, her hands pressing just above your hips. You writhed into her, squirming for more, your center already sopping wet.

"Tell me what you want," Casey said, trailing her tongue from your chest down to your stomach.

You struggled against her hands, pressing you into the bed. "Come on," you complained, nearly begging.

"Tell me," Casey said again, more forcefully, her fingers grazing over your clit.

You saw stars. "Fuck me."

Casey chuckled, her low voice vibrating against your already swollen clit. "That's my girl."

You gasped as she sucked your clit between her lips, swishing her tongue back and forth, back and forth. Her arms pinned your thighs in place, holding your writhing body tight. You heaved and moaned as you pushed Casey's head into your center. Her hair was soft and damp with sweat under your fingers, and you felt desperate for her as you chased your high.

She waited until you were nearly bursting, your breath hitching and your back arched against her, then pulled quickly away, wiping her mouth.

You gasped frantically. "What the fuck, Casey!?"

"Shh," she commanded, crawling back up your body and grabbing your chin. She straddled your hips, her own soaked center resting over yours.

"Casey, please," you begged, your eyes fluttering shut, the need of her flooding you.

"Don't close your eyes, honey. Look at me."

You huffed but opened your eyes, staring defiantly into hers, green and hungry and lustful.

She held your face still with one hand, then crept back down your body with the other. You let out a moan, squirming.

"Now arch your back for me," she said, the heel of her palm pressing hard into your clit.

Your body nearly exploded with the sensation, and you thrust into her with everything you had. You grabbed at Casey, pulling her into you, elated to know that she was using you, too, unable to put off her own pleasure any longer.

Your breath came faster and faster, your body jerking into Casey as Casey thrust toward you. You watched each other, both on the brink of losing control. Casey moaned, shutting her eyes briefly before squeezing your chin and staring at you.

"Now," she said.

And that one word was all it took. Your body shook against Casey's, your hips riding into her again and again, desperate for the friction as you moaned. She did the same, her nails digging into the skin at the top of your throat as she rode out her own orgasm. It felt like the two of you were hurtling across space, starbursts and supernovas and whole galaxies flashing inside you as you held onto one another. You quivered against her as the fireworks dissipated, spent and sweaty and heaving.

Casey grinned and planted kisses across your collarbone, counting. "One. Two. Three..."

You laughed and groaned. "Casey," you protested.

She'd discovered early on that, if she timed it right, she could make you come indefinitely. The only thing that stopped her was you getting overstimulated.

"Twenty-two," she finished and, once again, pressed the heel of her hand into your clit, harder and harder until she had you ready again, your hands grasping the bedsheets.

Your orgasm washed over you again, like a wave this time, pouring over you from head to toe.

Casey started in again, this time with her lips at the back of your knees. "One. Two..."

By the fifth round, you were nearly delirious, and Casey was salivating.

"Casey," you groaned, your body still pressing into her hand, almost against your will. "It's too much."

"Come on, sweetheart," she said, kissing you roughly. "Give me one more."

She continued grinding her hand into you, meshing her lips with yours, her tongue roving. Your breath caught and you moaned into her mouth, your orgasm taking you over one final, quaking time.

Casey cradled your head in the crook of her arm as you continued to shake, finally letting you relax.

"Thank you," she whispered, peppering your face with kisses.

You scrunched your nose. "For what? Letting you beat your record?"

"Well, that, too." She chuckled, deep and throaty, then brushed your sweaty bangs out of your face. "For protecting me. From that asshole."

You turned to her and tucked her hair behind her ear, running your thumb across her eyebrow.

"I would die before I let someone hurt you." Your voice was so quiet that, had anyone else been in the room, even they wouldn't have been able to hear. But you did. And Casey did.

She looked at you for a moment, then leaned down and kissed your forehead, hard and purposeful.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you, too."

You lost yourself in her arms for a bit as she ran a hand absentmindedly through your hair.

"We should go to more baseball games," Casey mused after a while.

You laughed. "Only if there's no relish involved."

"Deal."

[leashybebes]

#33 for the kiss meme cause I support procrastination 👏 (dealers choice on pairing)

thank you! #33 was forceful, and i went for saltommy. hope that's okay! disclaimer: it's been a minute since i've watched any of the begins episodes so let's just pretend this makes sense with the timeline we saw on the show (if it's good enough for tim etc., etc.)

Tommy gets through the rest of his shift with a ringing in his ears and a feeling like he's clinging on by his fingertips. He can feel Hen and Chimney looking at him carefully between calls, and even Nash looks like he's going to say something a couple of times. Tommy bites his tongue and does his job and at the end of the shift, he does a round of the firehouse and picks up all the stuff Sal left behind in his urgent need to walk away.

Hen finds him in the locker room, half zoned out, looking down at Sal's Yankees sweatshirt in his hands. He found it in the gym. It's the one with the sleeves cut off, the one Sal would pair with obnoxious board shorts at pick-up games, the one it'd taken Tommy years to build up an immunity to. And for what? For what? Because Tommy knows how this goes. People leave, everyone makes the appropriate noises about staying in touch, and then…and then…

"You okay, Tommy?"

"Yeah," he says, on reflex. "No. I don't know."

"Yeah," Hen agrees. "That was rough."

"He's such an idiot," Tommy says, tightening his fists in the worn material of the hoodie. 

Hen touches his shoulder. "Maybe you should cool off a little before you go in all guns blazing, huh?"

"Yeah," Tommy says, his jaw so tight he feels like it might shatter. "Probably."

The drive to Sal's place doesn't cool him off at all. If anything it makes him worse. He spends most of the forty five minutes sitting in traffic with his hands at ten and two, mentally rehearsing what he's going to say. You selfish prick. What the hell were you thinking? It's not too late, let's go to Nash together. You're the only thing that got me through the last six years, what am I supposed to do now? I love you. I don't know how to survive losing you. You fucking asshole.

And then he's there, his car's engine ticking into silence, his hands cramping as he uncurls his fingers from the steering wheel one at a time. He still has no idea what to say, but he grabs the duffel bag of Sal's things from the passenger seat and marches to the door. He listens to the sound of his pulse slamming inside his chest for the thirty seconds it takes Sal to open the door. He has the nerve, the sheer fucking gall, to smile at Tommy.

"Oh, hey man. Come on in."

What the fuck.

Tommy doesn't give Sal time to step aside, shoulders past him instead, shoves the bag of his crap into his arms hard enough to make him stumble.

"What the hell, Sal?"

"What - wait, are you mad at me?"

"Yes!" Tommy explodes, flinging his hands into the air. "Obviously!"

"Well why the fuck are you mad at me?" Sal demands, dropping the bag at his feet and folding his arms across his chest. "Be mad at the fucking hick."

"You left," Tommy bursts out.

"He fucking - "

"All you had to do was say sorry - "

"For doing my job? Tommy!"

"- and you could have stayed with me."

That shuts them both up more effectively than Tommy would have expected and he stands for a moment, his chest heaving, his hands shaking at his sides. Sal looks at him, tilts his head, frowns in the way that has always meant he's forensically taking someone apart, seeing through any defences to their soft underbelly. Tommy has always dreaded having that look turned on him, and this is no different.

And then Sal takes two steps, gets a hand on his collar, yanks him in, kisses him so hard it hurts. In truth it's hurt a little bit every time Tommy's kissed a guy, pressing on the bruise made of shame and fear and guilt that lives in the heart of him. This is different. This hurts because Sal clashes their teeth together, because he bites at Tommy's lower lip with sharp, mean teeth, because his hand goes from Tommy's collar to his hair and tugs. It doesn't hurt in his heart.

Tommy wheels away as far as Sal's grip on his shirt will let him, panting, panic welling up like he was the one who started it, like he slipped after years of promising himself he wouldn't. His hand is shaking as he touches it to his lips. His mouth feels like it's on fire.

"How - how did you know - "

"You're not as subtle as you think you are, babe."

"You fucking asshole," Tommy laughs.

"That's nice," Sal says. "That's real nice. Come here, you dumbass. I'm not leaving you."

He kisses Tommy again, and this time it doesn't hurt anywhere.

[cdragons]

Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You - Part 5

Previous Chapter, Masterlist

Summary: You have never, EVER, in a million years hated anyone the way you hated Felix fucking Catton. And if you end up murdering your English Professor for forcing you to be paired up with him, WHO COULD BLAME YOU???

Warnings- MDNI 18+, Mention of SA/SH, BDSM (sex dream), M/M/F sex dream, Felix is a pig, Reader claws Oliver's face, Michael loves Reader so much y'all, Farleigh is on Team Michael, Oliver is delusional and awful, alternating POVs between characters, and author has spent too much time researching Oxford crap for this mess for a crack fic to be a crack fic.

Author's Note: Finals are a BITCH, but I'm finally done...except I have to do my summer classes soon. But I really wanted to put this chapter out since it's been a while. Thank you all who've been reading this fic and sharing wonderful comments! They really help push me to become a better writer!

Michael’s head was about to explode in the next thirty seconds if fucking Farleigh Start didn’t stop digging his paws through his closet and drawers. No amount of clinking and clacking from tapping on his keyboard would be enough to dull out his shirts shuffled in his chest and hangers shrill screeching against the metal bar in his wardrobe.

“Dear God,” the Yankee, stick-figured giant groaned. “How many math pun shirts do you have? Don’t you have any normal ones? Oh my god, are all the pants you own khakis or Oxfam jeans? Do you seriously not own a single pair of corduroy slacks?”

He slammed his laptop shut. God-fucking-dammit, he was going to kill this asshole if he didn’t shut the fuck up.

“Maybe,” Michael gritted out, “if you just focused on the presentation we’re supposed to be working on, it’ll not bother you.”

Farleigh Start clicked his tongue. “Now, now – it’s not nice to be so testy. Most would consider themselves very lucky that I’m providing my services for free.”

The blonde-blind nerd balked when the word ‘services’ entered his ears. Immediately his mind thought of all the rumors that latched to Felix Catton’s mysterious American cousin – who apparently sucked off every teacher in England. Not that he was homophobic or anything – kiss, fuck, marry whoever you wanted, but he wasn’t interested in that sort of thing.

“Services – are you trying to suck my cock so I’ll do your work for you?!”

“…First off, ew,” Farleigh began. “Second, if I left you to do my side of the work, I’m about…86% confident that you’ll end up tanking my grade.” He strolled to Michael’s closet, pulled out a blue gingham-checkered shirt, and grimaced. “Thirdly, I am referring to how I am going to turn–” he nodded towards Michael in disgust “–this, into an actual suitor for our dear (Y/N). Or are you two still doing this little dance of being nauseatingly following each other around like sad puppies and giving each other bedroom eyes without actually fucking?”

Don’t take the bait, don’t take the bait, don’t take the bait, don’t take the–

Michael slammed his laptop shut and tiredly rubbed his eyes. With a loud and audible groan that he dragged out, he rubbed his eyelids until he could see the kaleidoscope of stars and squiggles in the dark.

Fucking damn it.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you?” he damn-near shouted. “It’s not like that between us!”

Farleigh quirked a brow. “The bedroom eyes or the not-actually-fucking? Because if it’s the former…yes, it is, but if it’s the second,” he brought his hands together in a slow clap, “then well done, Gavey!”

Michael shot up from where he was sitting and ripped the shirt in Start’s hands before throwing it back in his silky oak wardrobe and slamming it shut. Was it so necessary for him to be so fucking insufferable? Was he born this intolerable, or did his fucking cousin, Felix fucking Catton, infect him because being a coked-up narcissist was contagious via proximity or blood?

He heard a few clicks behind him, and the scent of Marlboro Gold cigarettes filled his room.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

Michael turned around and stared at his completely useless study partner for this stupid project for his Classics course that he needs to fulfill his fucking “General Education” requirements. Farleigh Start was leaning against his dresser and staring at him with the most judgingly empty gaze ever worn – all while holding a cigarette between his two fingers and getting ash on the floor.

Great – like it wasn’t a bloody fire hazard to cover his carpeted dorm in hot ash.

He shrugged. “What’re you on about?”

Farleigh took a long drag on his lung cancer joystick before exhaling deeply. His disappointed look made Michael’s eyes twitch in irritation.

“About a certain mutual friend we share and adore,” he drawled. “Whom just so happens to be in my dear cousin’s room right now…at night…on a weekend…alone.” He paused to take in Michael’s reaction and smiled. “Ohhhhh, so you do care.”

Michael shook his head. “Nothing’s gonna happen between ‘em. (Y/N)’s too smart for that.”

“Yes, you see – I know that…and you know that. But my cousin?” Farleigh scrunched up his face and made a wish-washy motion with his hand. “Ehhhhh…he’s more the type to think a giant, glaring red-neon sign with blinking lights saying ‘STOP’ is another giant, glaring purple-neon sign with blinking lights saying ‘Come Hither’ in porno studio 69 font.”

Michael Gavey rolled his eyes and reopened his laptop. “Whatever, I’m not worried.”

“You’re telling me that it doesn’t bother you that our friend is currently in the lion’s den with Oxford’s king?”

“Of course it bothers me,” thought Michael, “but I trust her more than I trust you.”

But Michael wasn’t going to let his forced-upon acquaintance know his thoughts, so all he said was…

“She’s not in the fuckin’ lion’s den, alright? They’re in the Bodleian. I’m going to pick her up from there in like thirty minutes.”

Farleigh cocked his head to the side. “Don’t trust our girl to make smart choices?”

“I trust (Y/N) just fine,” Michael bitterly retorted. “It’s your fucking cousin I don’t trust.”

Because he does – he trusts you so much. He knows how sweet and kind you were to everybody you thought deserved the benefit of the doubt. ‘Deserved’ being the very fine keyword in the detailing because there was no fucking way in hell you were dumb enough to think Sir Felix Catton of fucking ‘SalTbURn MaNor’ deserved your kindness.

Mary, Jesus, and Joseph – he wanted to strangle the old kook when he announced the assigned pairs.

It was Classics English taught by Professor Radcliff Michael Charles Douglas. He droned on about what materials would be on the end-of-term examinations. Everyone in the classroom, save for you and a few others, was either passing notes by throwing them across the room or staring aimlessly at the air with red-rimmed eyes.

“Ya’ ready, partn’r?”

You pursed your lips as a groan fought to escape. You would regret introducing John Sturge’s 1960 American Western masterpiece, “The Magnificent Seven,” to Michael Gavey if he kept up with that god-awful Texas accent.

You turned to your left and shot a blank glare at Michael. “Listen, Billy the Kid, we don’t know if we’re going to be assigned together,” you said.

“Come on, Professor Douglas always pairs the people sitting together as partners so far in the entire term. If it’s not broke, why fix it?”

“Melanie Brown…paired with Bryce Landon…Kemi Brown…paired with Amelia Sanders…”

You leaned on your elbow to whisper in Michael’s ear to drown out your professor’s blasé voice.

“Can we do our project on Hercules?”

He leaned back. “Why him?”

“I want to present on the glorification of toxic masculinity in mythology, and he’s the prime example.”

Michael chuckled. “You just want to piss off old Douglas up there.”

“Katie Caldwell…paired with Oliver Quick…”

“Is that so wrong?” you asked with a smirk. “You can either be one jump scare away from seeing Jesus or a product of institutionalized glorification of misogyny – but you cannot be both.”

Michael stifled a laugh. “You realize that takes away pretty much half of the English, Math, Science, and every fucking department on campus, right?”

You innocently tilt your head to the side. “Does it?”

“You’re terrible,” Michael snickered. “Completely evil.”

“Oh, please,” you swatted his arm. “You love me anyway.”

“Michael Gavey…paired with Farleigh Start…”

You and Michael turned to the front with disbelief. Wait…if Michael was paired with Farleigh…then that meant…oh, no.

“(Y/N) (L/N)…paired with Felix Catton. That will be all – no changes.”

Michael watched with wide eyes as your head slowly turned to the back of the lecture hall. He watched your face pale in disgust and horror when your eyes stopped at Felix Catton. Michael’s blue eyes narrowed at the lecherous grin Felix shot to you before he puckered his lips to blow a little kiss with a wink.

Your body involuntarily shuddered at the predatory implications. Michael watched as his best friend buried her face in her hands. He heard her say the exact same thought he was having.

These are going to be the worst few weeks of my life.

To say it bothered Michael that Felix Catton was making the moves on you, so to lure you to his sex dungeon of a dorm was an understatement. It was killing him to know that you were essentially forced into a vulnerable position, but when he brought it up to your professor, the old cunt-rag didn’t give two flying fucks.

“Professor Douglas, please,” Michael pleaded. “I really think it’d be in everyone’s best interest if you could make this exception this one time. I promise it has less to do with me and more for (Y/N)’s sake–”

But the ancient windbag wasn’t interested. “Whatever accusations you and Miss (L/N) intend to throw at Mister Catton, I am uninterested. Honestly, Mister Gavey, I expected this kind of nonsensical drivel from your friend, but to see you being caught in her schemes disappoints me greatly.”

Michael bit his tongue to choke down the tongue lashing he wanted to give. He wanted to tell this wrinkled ballsack about how the ‘fine Mister Catton’ basically assaulted you. He wanted to scream how worried he was when he didn’t see you for the rest of the day. He wanted to shout how when he knocked on your dorm and entered, he froze and paled at the sight of you crying your eyes out until they were red and puffy. He wanted to roar out the fury he felt when you revealed to him the incident with Felix Catton that morning in the empty lecture hall. The very same one where Professor Douglas taught.

*TRIGGER WARNING: THE FOLLOWING SCENE FEATURES PAST SEXUAL HARASSMENT AND A DISCUSSION OF THE TOPIC, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THAT, PLEASE SKIP OVER*

“I couldn’t do anything,” you whimpered. “I felt like…like such an idiot! I just froze and stared and did nothing!' You started to cry all over again, and Michael wiped your tears with his thumb before holding you close to his chest. “Hey, hey, hey – it’s okay. Freezing and doing nothing are two different things. You were stunned by what happened, and your body reacted the same way – anyone who tells you differently is a liar.” You shook your head. “I couldn’t even speak…it was like my body – it ju-just shut off on its own. My brain kept screaming, ‘Let go,’ ‘Get off,’ or ‘Stay away from me!’ But I…the words and my voice just failed me when I needed them the most.” Michael blurted out the first thought: “(Y/N), you need to report this.” Your eyes shot open in fear. “Michael, no–” “Look, I know you’re scared, but this is assault. He touched your inner thigh, and you clearly didn’t consent – that’s sexual assault, or at the very least sexual harassment! If you report it, at least the campus police know about this and keep an eye out for you.” But you weren’t listening. “Nononononono—Mikey... that’s not how it’ll go down. Even if I report it, they won’t believe me.” “You don’t know that!” “But I do!” you cried. You shot up and started pacing across the room. “I do know because I’ve seen it happen! Almost every girl I knew growing up—it happened to them! At school, on the trains, some at their own homes! Whether they knew every detail of their assaulter or just saw just a patch of skin – it didn’t matter!” You weeped. “And if I tell the cops, they’ll just throw away the report because they’ll think that ‘all he did’ was touch my thigh. Consensual or not, I’ll be labeled as some fucking crazy man-hater who’s grasping at straws to ruin a fine young man’s life and reputation.” You collapsed back on your bed. “I just…I can’t deal that kind of shit right now. Not with…” you took a deep breath, “Not with everything that’s happening right now.” “…What can I do to help?” Michael hated how his voice cracked. He hated how completely useless he felt at that moment. More than anything, he wanted to march to the campus police and report it. But he knew that by doing so…he took even more control away from you by going behind your back. And then he would be a no better monster than Felix Catton. The idea of him going beyond the point of no return made him clench his fists until his knuckles turned white. But when you touched his hand, all the tension flowed out of him like a creek. “You already did the best thing anyone could do for me right now,” you reassured him. “You listened to me. You cared enough to look for me when you felt something was off. You reached out to me and stayed and listened. And most of all…you believed me.” Michael felt his throat go dry. You looked at him with so much trust, as if he were the safest place in your world. He wanted you to look at him that way forever. “I’ll believe you,” he swore. “I’ll be there for you – no matter what. I promise. Whenever you need me, I will be there.” No words can describe the relief you felt from hearing Michael’s promise. When you entered Oxford's campus, you never expected to meet someone as endlessly loyal and trustworthy as him. You were prepared to keep your head low and remain friendless for the next four years. You were ready to spend the next 1460 days crying your heart out from homesickness and imposter syndrome. But somehow, near the beginning of your first term here, you met Michael. And you were so grateful for him. You leaned in and lightly kissed his cheek. “I know. I know you will.” And you believed that with all your heart.

*TRIGGER SCENE END*

Michael promised you – gave his word – that he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. But, fuck, this asshole was making it hard to keep that promise.

“Mister Catton is a fine young man…”

No, he’s not.

“…one whom I have full faith will end up as remarkable as his father and grandfather before him.”

They probably pulled that same shit, too.

“A man with a future as bright as his does not need some upstart with delusions of grandeur to dismantle an institution as fine as Oxford blatantly spewing out trash about him.”

It’s not trash.

“Unless it was something with proof and worth my time?”

Michael looked at his Classics professor with empty but enraged eyes. “…No, professor. It’s just a personal matter between me and Felix – (Y/N) has nothing to do with it. She’s just…protective, I guess.”

This surprised the sagging skin suit. “Hmm, well, that sense of loyalty from such a strange girl is surprising, to say the least – especially when you take account of her…troubling background as an American from that horrible city. But perhaps there is a chance of decency in her, after all.”

Michael’s right eye twitched slightly. “And what do you mean by her…background?”

“Oh, come now, Mister Gavey. She’s a New Yorker. That city is full of…of…gang-bangers and drug addicts.”

“Her dad’s a professor at NYU, and her mum works for the buildings that host Broadway shows.”

Douglas scoffed. “HA! New York University – what a joke. A campus that’s filled with hippies and no class. And Broadway? Of course, Miss (L/N) is connected to the theatre community. Now, if that’s all, Mister Gavey, I have an important meeting to get to with the chairman of my department. I trust that this matter is settled?”

No, not even close.

But all Michael could do was clench his fist over his backpack’s strap. He forced an unconvincing smile and tersely nodded.

“Yep, won’t get any more problems.”

When old man Douglas replied with his patronizing smile, Michael wanted nothing more than to knock out the rest of the tenured professor’s teeth with a fire hydrant.

So…no, Michael Gavey was not at all okay with the fact that you were with Felix Catton. He was not OK with the idea that you were within ten feet of that depraved vampire.

All he could do was be reassured you were in a very safe and very public space with lots and lots of people who could serve as potential testimonial eyewitnesses if Catton tried anything.

…Provided that Catton Sr. wouldn’t be able to pay off everyone, their third cousin, and their dog.

You wanted to die. You wanted to literally sink into the ground. You wanted there to be a sinkhole to open under you, swallow you whole, close up, and you would never see the light of day again.

…Actually, you wanted all those things to happen to your useless fuck of a project partner.

“Y’know, if you’re bored here, there’s a party going on at one of my mates’ flats not far from here.”

Felix moved to the seat right next to you and limply swung his arm over your chair. “So why don’t we–”

You shot up and moved one seat over. “Considering how we’ve been working on the research for almost two hours, and you haven’t gotten any work done,” you bit out. “Getting wasted and losing more brain cells isn’t the right call.”

Taking your open hostility as a challenge, Felix continued to move closer to you. “Exactly! We’ve been at this for two hours, and nothing got done!” His face was inches from yours, and you could smell the rank stench of craft beers and rancid cigarettes on his breath. “So, what’s the harm in having a bit of fun?”

Oh my – this is getting fucking ridiculous.

You started to pack your bags and gather all the borrowed books. “Parties aren’t my idea of ‘fun.’ And I already told my friend to meet me–”

“So bring him too! The more the merrier!”

You took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten. “Our presentation is due in a week, Felix. One week to hand the paper in and present our topic to the class.” 

You swung your backpack over your shoulder. “I take my coursework very seriously, and to say it’s frustrating to have a partner who doesn’t take it as seriously as me would be a supreme understatement.”

“I think from now on–” a swift *RIP* echoed between them as you took a page out of your college-bound notebook. You quickly jotted down instructions for topics so simplified a child could figure it out, “– it’d be best if we work separately.”

Felix shot up from his seat with a panicked look. “Wait, now hold on – let’s not get hasty.”

“I already have a basic outline for the paper - I’ll type up the paper,” you continued while not looking at him. “All you have to do is find the books I’ve so nicely labeled on that sheet of paper I’ve given you.”

“Wha-what happens after I find them?” Felix stammered; his heart broke from how his time with you was so cruelly cut short.

But your tone and body language remained as rigid as it was apathetic. “You have my email, you have a laptop – figure it out, genius. We’ll meet up at a specified time and place; you hand me the books, and we move on with our very separate lives.”

You walked out of the crowded library and toward the nearby bench where you and Michael agreed to meet when he picked you up. You barely had time to sit down before you were bombarded with the presence of a much worse pest stuck to your shoe.

“You get off on bein’ a downright bitch?”

God, was every asshole trying to piss you off tonight?

You turned around with a prominent scowl that further deepened as your eyes took in the insufferable bastard who was clearly trying to pick a fight with you. You don’t know why you bothered to look for confirmation. You immediately knew who it was just by the sheer arrogance oozing from his tone.

As an artist, you had a special relationship with the color blue. In the summer, there was a point in the early mornings when it felt like the world was bathed in it. There was even a period when you were downright obsessed with it. You loved anything and everything blue: the sky, the ocean, hydrangeas, the Obrina Olivewing butterfly – but eyes, you loved painting blue eyes.

You thought of them as these warm, magical rarities that belonged to the stuff of fairies and Disney princesses. Of course, you also knew the popularity of the usage of blue with winter and death, but you never felt that duality…until now.

Because as much of a slimy bastard Oliver Quick was, you had to hand it to the guy…he was one of two people with some of the bluest eyes you’d ever seen.

Which gave you all the more reason to hate him. He made blue eyes look so cold.

 You clenched your backpack strap. “I’m not in the mood, Quick.”

Oliver scoffed. “I’d disagree – you’re always in a mood.”

“So stop talking to me,” you snarled, turning around. “And go away, Michael’s meeting me here soon.” You started to walk away when you heard Oliver speak again.

“I’m surprised he hadn’t dropped you left,” he maliciously quipped. “With you and Felix and all that.”

Your nails dug deeper into your backpack strap. “There is nothing between me and Felix – nothing at all.”

“Yeah, for now,” Oliver shook his head. “But you’ll be crawling to him with your hands and knees on the ground, worshippin’ him like he’s Hercules or Apollo.”

He leaned in closer from behind you. “And you’ll compare Gavey to Felix and look back and wonder ‘how the hell could I have missed being with Felix Catton over some pathetic’–”

Stop it. *clench*

“–unimportant–”

Shut. Up. *dig*

“– know-it-all –”

I hate you. I hate you. *pierce*

“– nobody.”

You turned around and dug your nails into his face as you poured every bit of rage and disdain for the single most insignificant person you’ve ever met in each word that came out of your mouth.

“Enough,” you roughly whispered. It was taking everything inside you to stop lashing out even further. “I don’t want to hear another word from you.”

“What? Plan to –” Oliver winced as you cinched onto his skin.

“Of all the mind-bogglingly,” *clench* “douche-like” *dig* “and despicable” *pierce* “crap you’ve spewed out,” you rasped. “Implying that I would ever choose as dull as Felix Catton over someone as rare and wonderful as Mikey has got to be one of the worst.”

“Do not push me any further, Quick,” You felt him tremble as you slowly released him from your grasp. “I’ve tolerated too much from you and the object of your obsession for far too long as is.”

You stepped back and gave the boy before you a good, hard stare. You never felt rage so deep, so demanding.

It was exhausting.

But you heard your name being called out from your left as you turned your head to see Michael waving to you with his arm high in the air. Had it been anyone else calling out your name, you wouldn’t have felt so quickly eased. You were about to move ahead to meet him halfway in the distance before Oliver’s voice stopped you.

“…What could possibly make him so special?” Oliver pathetically whimpered. “Why would you ever choose him when someone as bright as Felix is begging for you? Do you know what being with him means for you? What it gives you?”

…Was that it? Was that his best shot to get under your skin?

Looking at Michael, you answered him without meaning to.

“There’s no point in explaining it to you,” you calmly stated. “And I think you’ve wasted enough of my time.”

You picked up your stuff and left him alone with his thoughts. As you walked away to join your friend, you could feel his icy sapphire eyes digging into your back. Michael could feel how tense you were and asked if there was anything he could help with – but you waved away his concerns, stating that you had already wasted too much of your time with Felix and Oliver and didn’t want to waste anymore. Slipping your arm over his, you snuggled closer to his side and let the familiar scent of old math textbooks and coffee comfort you.

Oliver would make you pay for what you did – you’d be naïve to assume otherwise. He won’t do it directly, but it will happen. He’s the type to drink poison and expect you to die…only to learn too late that it worked as you lay on the ground bleeding and screaming your throat raw for help.

But right now, you were with your best friend; you two were going back to his dorm for a best friend sleepover, and it’d be enough.

…Yeah, it’ll be enough.

Oliver needed to make a plan – and fast.

Getting into your good graces was no longer a viable option for him; you made it annoyingly clear of that by the way you attempted to maul his face off. He gingerly touched the claw marks you imprinted on his cheeks as you tried to dig for his blood and bone with your nails. A corner of his mouth went up as he remembered your viciousness. He could practically taste the blood that nearly trickled down his cheek after you pierced his skin.

He hadn’t expected such a blatant display of violence from you, of all people, let alone on the campus’ hallowed grounds so near an establishment as ancient and crowded as the Bodleian.

For you, sweet, innocent (Y/N), to show such open hostility…to know he urged that beautiful, dormant impulsiveness to emerge…it thrilled him like nothing else. At that moment, he so clearly saw it. A darkness that was hidden deep inside you – bursting open from your carefully stitched seams. A deep desire for more in the dull, dull life God cruelly set upon you. Why else would a sweet, little all-American girl such as yourself travel all across the Atlantic to one of the most prestigious universities?

No, you were like him – exactly like him. Your reaction to his goading only proved that to him.

You weren’t used to it – that much was obvious…but that meant little to him. If nothing else, Oliver was resourceful. He’d learn more and more about what makes you tick before plucking you piece by piece into what he needed you to be for him. He’ll watch you explode before making you fizzle.

The idea of you at your fiercest – only for him to break it down bit by bit until all that was left was a more…subdued version of the hardheaded American girl from the Big Apple who loved to aggravate him during her first-year days at Oxford.

The thought alone made him salivate.

He could only dream how you’d be in bed. Your tight, hot little body would be squirming and writhing from the pleasure he and Felix bestow upon you. You, helplessly lying on your back while being fucked dumb by the two of them.

God, he felt himself getting hard at just the image alone – to make it a reality…that sort of victory, along with having Felix, would be nothing short of heaven for him. He unbuttoned his jeans as he took out his hardening cock into his hand. Not wanting to bother himself by starting slow, he immediately stroked himself with a rough and unforgiving pace. He wanted the pleasure from the fantasy to overwhelm him.

You looked perfect—replete, ethereal, and effervescent. Your entire body twitched as your eyes were blown wide, and drool dribbled down your chin. You put up quite the fight; the scratch marks on his and Felix’s chests proved that. But seeing you on your back on red silk sheets with your wrists and ankles tied to the bed posts made the struggle worth it. The red and pink bite marks that begin from the column of your slender neck down to your plush and tender inner thighs made for a prettier picture you could ever paint. “Oliver,” you pitifully rasped. “P-please, m’sorry – AH!” Your body jolted, and your back arched as he slapped your swollen clit. He struck his hand down one, two, three more times and watched as you thrashed and cried before another peak was forcefully ripped within you and came gushing out. God, how many times was it at that point? Three, four? It must have been quite a high number, judging by how tightly your cunt clenched onto his fingers when he thrust them inside you. “Look at her,” Felix cooed from behind Oliver. The Saltburn heir’s hulking frame towered over his lover as they watched their pet beg for mercy. “You almost feel sorry for her.” His hot breath panted into his ear as Oliver shivered in delight. The Quick boy gasped when he felt Felix’s large digits begin to enter his tight, puckering hole. “Take your fingers out,” he ordered. “And stick your cock inside her. You’ve been so good to me that I’ll let you fuck her sloppy cunt while I finger-fuck your arse.” Oh god, yes. Oliver took out his fingers and immediately positioned his hard cock at your leaking pussy as he spread your legs apart and forced your knees to press against your chest. “Wait,” you slowly blinked. “Wha…what’re you do–” Your back arched as Oliver pushed into you before thrusting into your cunt at a brutal pace. Tears were streaming down your reddened, flushed face as ecstasy-laden sobs filled the room. “Good boy, Olly,” Felix praised as he continued to push his fingers inside Oliver while the nails of his other hand dug into his hips. He let out a ragged gasp from how Felix deliciously stretched him out. He started out slow before moving his fingers at a faster and steadier pace. “That’s it, Olly. You’re so good – so good to me.” God, the contrast between the firm grips and harsh thrusts with gentle whispers of sweet nothings was like nothing he had ever experienced. And it only made the pleasure of Oliver plowing into your weeping pussy while you cried like a bitch in heat feel too good to be true. “Oh, you’re getting so tight,” Felix groaned. “You wanna come, don’t you? You wanna spill your cum into our pet’s little cumdump hole, right?” “Yes,” Oliver rashly answered before snarling to you. “You hear that, you dumb slut? I’m going to cum in you, and you’re going to take it.” “N…not i-inside,” you begged despite your walls clenching tighter around his cock. “P-please not inside!” Oliver just laughed. “You want it – oh, yes, you do.” He released one of your legs to grip your jaw and forced you to stare at him. “Don’t bother denying it. Your body knows how a whore like you is just desperate for me.” He chuckled as he thrusts into you even harder than before. “Well?” “Yes!” you cried out. “Yes, Oliver! Let me be your cumdump! I want your cum so badly!” Before Oliver and Felix permitted you to do so, you spilled onto Oliver’s cock, and the tightening of your walls, mixed with how deep Felix pushed his fingers inside him, made Oliver’s mind go blank – and soon, all he could hear was white noise.

Oliver slumped into his chair as a coat of sweat covered his entire body. Thick, white ropes of cum were still spurting out of his softening cock despite it coating his right hand. He ran his left hand through his dark curls as reality settled back in. Cold, bitter loneliness engulfed his body as he realized that you and Felix were not with him, and he remained as alone as before. A newfound determination to make his fantasy a reality soon took place.

His vision will be a reality. Felix will love him. And you will be their pet whose sole purpose in life is to take load after load of their pleasure.

But such things were too early to think about with how you were now. No…no, no, no…you were far too raw in your current state…too volatile…too stubborn…too American. He supposes it shouldn’t be too surprising that you latch onto fitfulness and inconsistency.

You were an artist, after all, and such was the fate of your kind to be destined to forever claw their way from the bottom as a means of survival.

But, however charming your unpredictability may have been in your concrete-paved, urban paradise that you call ‘home’ – that simply won’t do for him. He was more than confident that he could make you see things his way, but there were…problems needed to be resolved.

Namely, one in particular that came in ill-fitting apparel and bulky-framed eyewear – Michael Gavey.

Only an utterly blind idiot would miss how you pathetically secure your entire emotional well-being onto him. Oliver watched in total desolation and disappointment at how your glorious rage dissipated at the sight of him. But a part of him was equally as impressed at the mask you so expertly paraded, going so far as forcing your body language to adapt to the circumstances.

But…it wasn’t a mask, was it?

You looked at Michael Gavey the way he looked at Felix – complete and total worship. Michael Gavey, for whatever reason, was your sun, moon, and stars. The way you protected and so ardently adored him made the conclusion all the easier to reach.

Suddenly, it all became clear.

Of course…how did he not see it? The answer was so obvious. What better way to force you to his and Felix’s side…than to separate and condition you?

Isolation was a cruel and sadistic thing to thrust upon anyone – let alone who had so few friends in a foreign country like yourself. But he knew how much of an effective tool it could serve for him. Oh, it would be arduous initially – yes, it will. But it would all be worth it in the end. After all, in a way, this was your fault. If only you had complied with him when he was being nice, he wouldn’t have had to resort to such drastic but necessary measures.

Oliver darkly chuckled to himself.

Yes…everything would turn out in his favor. He’d make sure of it.

Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindno, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacakes, @paradisepoisons, @pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz, @ma1dita, @jeondeluxe111, @itszzmoon, @wolfeginny, @mioshasworld, @bre99

Let me know in the comments your thoughts and if you want to be tagged when I update!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go pray to my ancestors and beg for their forgiveness for writing Oliver's POV 🥲

[thelilylav]

Y'know what? Fuck it (gives u guys a list of poc artists to listen to cause the white ppl on the music side of tumblr have been embarassing me)

List is under the cut, and warning bc I made it very long

Rock:

Los Abuelos De La Nada

Gesu No Kiwami Otobe

Chuck Berry

Ben E. King

Los Prisoneros

Ahmed Fakroun (ok this one's french art rock but in my book it still counts)

Burnout Syndromes (been fucking w them since I got into Haikyuu lmao)

Infinity Song (their hater song genuinely gets me every time LMAO)

People in the Box

N.E.R.D (my god if u don't know them.. idk dude my brother has been obsessed w them for forever so i just was not getting away regardless lol)

Punk/Punk Rock (& other punk subgenres):

Nova Twins (u must listen to them it's just the way it's gotta be guys)

Rina Sawayama (her hatred of Matty Healy is so attractive. i cannot believe i found her two years ago cause i still remember i would not shut up when i first heard her music it was so good)

BABYMETAL (the way their band name just straight up screams at people gets me every time lmaooo)

Indie:

The Younger Lovers

Mashrou Leila

Stella Jang

Shak SYrn (Jenni is on repeat in my room at any given moment)

Steve Lacy (if u listen to more than just Bad Habit u will find an actuall amazing discography)

Jenny Nuo (i have been OBSESSED w her music since like 2021 ish and it is a crime she hasn't blown up more imo)

Nujabes

Hemlocke Springs (oooo i hate that she does not get more love!!! synth pop and alt indie is such a fun niche like!!!)

Lyn Lapid (in my head she's huge but i have recently learned that artists i think r super popular may be unknown to an entire genre of ppl soo)

Megagonefree (found them on ig and omg!! PLS go check them out genuinely)

boa (i am once again shaming u if u don't know them)

Wallice

JAZZ (in all caps bc I fucking LOVE jazz no it's not dead go listen to jazz rn motherfuckers):

Idris Muhammad

Esperanza Spalding

Joanna Wang (ok she does pop and folk music too but idk she felt most appropriate here)

SAMARA JOY (put. some. respect. on. her. name. i would actually go to war for her i am not kidding. also this is in all caps bc MY MOM GOT TO SEE HER LIVE??? AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHO SHE WAS PLS I WAS SO MAD OMGGG but i've been promised tickets next time so we're good)

Sade (my og one and only)

Funk:

Fadoul

George Clinton (i mean he's just a classic yknow)

Parliament (Give Up the Funk can make me dance like no other i swear)

Stevie Wonder (i mean.. like if we're on the topic of classics anyway then...)

Michael Jackson/The Jackson 5 (moreso his earlier stuff if my memory isn't lying to me.. look it's been a second since i listened to mj IM SORRY i am a busy person ok TT)

R&B:

Valerie June

Maxine Nightingale (if u don't listen to her... how do u have fun? actual question i put her on every time i need to feel happy atp)

Boney. M (technically they're reggae but they also count as R&B so idk.. i'm just putting them here if anyone wants me to move them later i will)

Amahla (Ca Suffit was so good and got me to check out the rest of her music, YOU SHOULD TOO!!)

Mary J Blige (not to judge but like... if u don't know THE queen then idk how to help you tbh)

SZA (wouldn't be a list without her in it tbh. i'm in love w her not even joking abt that)

Kali Uchis (to this day i cannot believe i saw her live i'm truly never getting a better moment than that omggg i have such a big crush on her anyway)

Aupinard (if ever u need to just vibe, this is the man u go to.)

Wejdene (TU PARLES AVEC UNE ANISSA MA MOI J'APPELLE WEJDENE- she's been my day 1 since i was like thirteen i can't even lie)

Annisse (just found out she only has like ~500 listeners on spotify??? apparently i'm one of them tho lmao so yeah go get that number up guys i love her too much for this disrespect)

Sister Sledge

Cheryl Lynn

Reggae:

Daddy Yankee (he's an honourable mention cause i couldn't not lmao)

Skindred (they're a reggae/metal fusion band and i will shut up abt them when i'm dead bc Nobody rewired my brain chemistry!!)

Manu Chao

Toquinho (i was so convinced this man was bossa nova but apparently he is reggae and i need to do some music theory review)

Folk:

Sushi Soucy (oh the things I Deserve to Bleed had me going thru in 2020/2021)

Miriam Makeba (Pata Pata should be enough to get anyone listening to her, just saying)

Lead Belly (do urself a favour and do some research on this man, i'm not kidding even if u don't like folk music u should know abt him- ESPECIALLY if u like Nirvana that'll make sense later trust)

Pop:

Corinne Bailey Rae (she has so much good music that gets ignored bc of Put Your Records On so.. yeah go listen to Black Rainbows she's only gotten better as time goes on lol)

Dru (he is for any person who likes ke$ha. i'm so serious he is early 2000s in a bottle and i love his music ur rlly missing out if u ignore him)

Monique Hasbun (found her recently! she's a Palestinian, Mexican and Salvadorian artist who plays around with Latin pop and does a lot of fusion music. she's dope go listen to her fr)

Mohammad Assaf (he made the Palestine song that's been going around ig a lot, but his other stuff is great as well. he's another Palestinian artist, so once again, go check him out!!)

Pinkpanthress (i LOVE her she's so much fun to just vibe to and idk how anyone couldn't have heard of her atp but then again this is the sight that didn't know who drake was so... sigh. go listen to her if u don't already!!)

Aliyah's Interlude (BROOO if u haven't heard of her actually go listen rn i'm so serious she is so good i can'ttttt ok bye)

Veondre (had a collab w Aliyah on It Girl and is gonna be releasing her own music very soon! she's trans too so go give her some love)

Shalco (wasn't sure whether to put him here or in hip hop, but his stuff is very very good either way)

Ado (she's j-pop but it's a form of pop so into the pop category she goes)

Moon (she's got two songs out rn, Moonlight and Seoul City Drift, and both r going on loop in my head at all times)

Jay Chou (call me a basic bitch idc he's good ok)

Atarashii Gakko! (i wouldn't say they're j-pop, but google did, so i'm just going w it lol)

flowerovlove (just trust me on this one)

El Tio Gamboin (Los Gatitos is such a cute song)

Grace Chang (see note for Jay Chou)

King Gnu (for all my j-pop lovers... come get ur man)

Salsa:

Lalo Rodriguez (included this genre specifically so i could mention him)

Adalberto Santiago

Roberto Roena (he's a classic i can't lie)

Hector Lavoe (i think he might be the most popular one in this genre lol)

City Pop (this is its own genre bc i literally did a presentation in high school abt it and i'll be damned if i don't flex my knowledge now):

Mariya Takeuchi

Miki Matsubara (my QUEEN my everything my-)

Anri

Taeko Onuki (one of my most listened to artists last yr for a Reason)

Kaoru Akimoto

Kingo Hamada

Jun Togawa

Bossa Nova:

Joao Gilberto (ooo he gets me every time i fucking love this man)

Elizeth Cardoso

Johnny Alf (forgot this man the first time around my bad BUT he's called the father of bossa nova for a reason so)

Hip Hop:

Flyana Boss (they're sooooo good i actually can't gush enough i have never felt so girlypop listening to music before go listen to them!! found the duo through ig so yeah if u want go follow them on there too to show support)

Lil Uzi Vert (for any emo lovers, go check out his song Werewolf with Bring Me the Horizon it is SO GOOD)

Samyra (she's slowly curing my body dysmorphia lol)

Yame (there's an accent on the e but idk how to do that on tumblr. anyway my ass loves french rap and before him i was stuck with klub des loosers so he saved my faith in the genre i can't even lie)

Lay Bankz (u cannot be chronically online and not have heard Ick yet, but i'm repping her regardless bc SHE'S SO GOOD)

A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie (HEAR ME OUT-)

Kaliii (Area Codes was one of my most listened to songs last year... as it should be tbh)

Miguel (he does R&B too i just first listened to him bc of his collab w J.Cole sooo)

Tyler the Creator (putting him on here just to brag abt getting to see him in concert lmao)

XXXTentacion (he has been mourned and talked abt an insane amount, but he deserves it i'm not even gonna joke on this one. his artistry is insane and he deserves some love if u haven't listened to him yet)

Kendrick Lamar (i mean i've been reblogging stuff abt him enough. Mr. Morale was actually the album that made me start Listening listening to him and i'm honestly glad it was bc that album is still my favourite to this day if i'm being totally honest)

Renaissauce (criminally and i do mean CRIMINALLY underrated)

[strniohoeee]

Racketeer Pt. 3

Pairing: Chris Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N hates Chris hoodrat lifestyle, but when something goes wrong she’s ready to protect her man👥 Okay this is part 3 of a series I just made for shits and giggles for my best friend, but the fact that so many people like it is shocking and also amazing!!! Love this for us, I’m a hoe for hoodrat Chris even though I’m a Matt girl🧎🏽‍♀️

Warnings⚠️: uhh d*ath threats, Chris with a pewpew, pistol whipping, and uhhh I think that’s all…hope you enjoy 🖤

Song for the imagine: 308-22Gz (this is pure hoodrat NY trap music I LOVE IT)

When we spin through, it’s a D-O-A

We caught a opp at like 3:08

Fuck it and fuck up a B-O-A

Flashback

“Chris I’m not fucking holding your gun, so I’m definitely not fucking shooting it” I told Chris as he had his pistol on the kitchen table

“Baby why not? We literally got targets on our back because of who I am. I want my lady to be able to handle her own if I’m not there” he said in a matter of fact way

“Yeah a target on our back because of the life YOU chose to run with….plus I will always have you, so no” I said drinking my water

“What if I’m in a headlock, the pistols on the ground, and any one of his goons could come and pop me, and then pop you” he said raising his eyebrows

“Well then the lord better be on our side cause I ain’t picking up your gun” I said shrugging my shoulders

He picks up his gun and points it at me

“CHRISTOPHER HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND” I said flinching

“BANG BANG BANG, you’re dead” and then he turns the gun on himself “BANG BANG BANG, I’m dead” he said laughing

“Put the fucking gun down now” I said getting upset with him

“Baby the clips empty, and I took the bullet out” he said showing me the gun

“Give me the fucking gun, and show me how to use it” I said getting annoyed

“YES IM TEACHING MY BABYYY, I’m gonna have my own personal shooter” he said getting excited

Flashback over

Tonight Chris’s friends were having a party after one of the guys got released from prison. They rented out a whole club for this kid

“I don’t want to go” I said to Chris dragging my feet

“Come on, why not it’s a nice area. The club is only open for us, and you know ima protect you” he said getting dressed

I was already ready, but I just didn’t want to go anymore. I felt like this was our whole life…. parties, fast cars and thugs….but I digress

“Fine I’ll fucking go” I said getting my outfit picked out. It was cold in Boston, so I decided on a long sleeve fitted black shirt, medium wash baggy boyfriend jeans, and my black Air Force 1s (shawty on demon time). I flat ironed my hair, and put on my black north face puffer jacket

“The black air forces?? Whose head are you stompin on tonight?” Chris asked laughing

“Anybody who fucks with you” I said putting my perfume on

“Blue jeans or black” he asked me

“Black” I said back

Chris came out in an all black shirt, with black jeans, his timberland boots on, and his black puffer coat

“Alright baby Boston Red Sox black and white hat, or Yankees” he asked

“Boston….HELLOOO” I said laughing at him

“Duhhh how could I be so stupid” he said making a dumb face

We had driven to the location of the club, and it was indeed a nice area, but it was known for gangs so there were some dodgy people out.

“Don’t leave my side at all” Chris said helping me out the passenger side, and shutting the door behind me

“Never baby” I said, and he locked the car

We walked to the club, and immediately I recognized everybody there. I even seen some of my girl friends who were either dating or messing around with one of these guys

The whole night we had such a blast, laughing, talking, drinking and dancing. Although these people had some crazy shit under their belt, they were actually super nice and respectful people.

“Yoo there’s some kids out there, talking about Drew’s gang or whatever” one of Chris friends came up and said to all of us

“That little fucking kid with the tattoos on his face?” Chris asked

“Yeah, he’s getting mad staticy outside, and wallin out. The security guards about to lay his ass out” he said

“Tell that fucking kid that I’m going to be dealing with his soon” Chris said taking a sip of his drink

“Ai, he’s alone so he ain’t gonna try some shit” he said to Chris

“Even if he does…I’m strapped tonight” Chri said lifting his shirt up exposing the pistol in his waistband

His friend nodded at him, and went to head back out to relay the message to the other guy.

“Baby….for once not tonight” I said looking at Chris

“I’m not gonna do anything, but if people start talking crazy” he said raising his hands up

“No Chris! You have to stop this” I told him taking a sip of my drink

“What?? I’ll bust him in his medulla….nobody will fuck wit me after that” Chris said laughing

I just shook my head and laughed at him

At this point it was about 2AM, and we all started to head out. We walked outside, and Chris was saying bye to the security guard and some of his friends

I was waiting for Chris to finish chatting with his security guard, when I saw someone in the corner of my eye. For once can someone not try Chris and I

“Yoo this your man?” The kid said coming up to me and pointing at Chris

I just ignored him, me being from New York…you never ever turn your head when someone’s coming up from behind you to ask you, or tell you something. That’s a death wish.

“You deaf ma?” I heard him say again

“Yo get the fuck outta here” I heard Chris say from behind me

“Yo get the fuck outta here Chris, Drew’s people got something for your ass, and it’s gonna start with your lady here” he said nodding his head at me

“Did you just threaten my woman” I heard Chris say, and he started to walk towards him, so I turned around to watch this glancing at the security guard to keep an eye out

“Don’t shoot the messenger…..you keep fucking wit our guys…they gonna come for you” he said

“I’ll shoot you, and the motherfucka who sent you” Chris said getting closer to the guy

“Babe stop” I said trying to keep Chris calm

“Yeah listen to your lady…wouldn’t want her with a hole between her eyes now would we?” He asked smuggly

All of a sudden I just see Chris swing at the guy, his right fist connecting with his cheek

“DONT YOU EVER FUCKING SAY SOME SHIT ABOUT KILLING MY GIRL. ILL FUCKING KILL YOUR WHOLE LIFELINE BITCH” Chris screamed at him and they started to throw punches

“CHRIS PLEASE STOP, THIS HAS TO FUCKING STOP PLEASE” I said begging, but not wanting to get in between them because I was not about to get cracked in the jaw

I'm not sure what happened but they started to struggle with each other, and were just scuffling. I had a feeling the guy felt Chris’s gun, and was trying to grab it

“FUCK YOU” Chris started to scream and started throwing punches at the guys ribs, as he had Chris in a headlock

All of a sudden his pistol fell out, and at the same time the guy got Chris on his back on the ground, and they were throwing punches.

The pistol slid pretty far, and I was contemplating on if I wanted to pick it up or not…..Fuck it…this is my man, and I will fucking do anything to protect him

I picked up the pistol, and cocked it back

“GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY MAN, OR I WILL BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF” I yelled at the guy, both of them turning to look at me

“You’re a little bitch, you ain’t pulling no fucking trigger fuck outta here” he said still struggling with Chris

I don’t know what came over me, but I moved the gun from pointed at his head to pointed just behind it, and then I pulled the trigger

The bullet flew right past his head, and it was so fucking loud, everybody froze including me

��THE FUCK” the guy yelled, and while he was looking at me Chris used this to punch him on the jaw knocking him backwards

Chris got up, and came over to me, and grabbed the pistol out of my hands

He walked over to the guy, standing over him and grabbed him by his shirt

All of a sudden Chris pistol whipped the guy, and I gasped covering my mouth

“If you ever come around me and my people, and my FUCKING woman again talking out your neck I’m going to come for your whole fucking blood line, got it” he said as he held the pistol under the kids chin

“Yeah yeah” the guy said out of it

“NO FUCKING YEAH YEAH, YOU GET IT OR YOU DONT WE WOULDNT WANT TO SEND YOU BACK TO DREW WHTH A BULLET BETWEEN YOUR BROWS NOW WOULD WE” Chris said laying the gun in between the guys brows

“No no….I promise you’re all good. I’ll never fucking look at yall ever again” he said in fear

“Yeah you better not, and if we ever cross paths again…you better cross to the other side of the street. Cause you just earned a target on your back, and when I’m ready to pop you and your people I'm coming for yous ….cause all my opps is targets, see the red dot no target got it bitch” he said throwing the guy down onto the ground

Chris looked at his security and nodded for him to get rid of the kid, and keep everything on hush. He tucked the pistol into his waistband and grabbed my hand

“Lets go ma” he said walking with me

We got into the car, and I was still so shocked by everything

“Look at you….almost boomed the kids face off for me” he said smirking

“I don’t know what took over me, but I knew I wanted to hurt him to protect you” I said to Chris

“That’s exactly how I feel everytime someone fucks with you” he said leaning in and kissing me

“You’re not going to go after him right?” I asked

“No, but it creates enough fear in his heart that he won’t even fuck with us ever again” he said putting the car in drive, and grabbing my hand to interlock it

“Chris we have to stop this lifestyle” I told him

“And we will baby, I promise you” he said kissing my hand as he drove off

The End

Alright this was part 3, and I may or may not write a part 4 depending on the feedback, but this one was my favorite one to write 💋💋

-J💅🏽

[burkhxrts]

IMGONNAGETYOUBACK! [prologue] | A. Judge

"say you've got somebody i'll say I've got someone too. even if its handcuffed I'm leaving here with you." -taylor swift

summary: you were supposed to be excited when you got the job to be a journalist for a Major League Baseball team. however, the light dimmed when you found out it was the same team your ex boyfriend from college played on.

authors note: here we fucking go.

January 29, 2024

You're nervous. Why are you so nervous?

It's 7:30 in the fucking morning, and here you are, rolled into a fetal position on the floor all because of an interview.

Your friend, Penny, pats your back softly. "It'll be alright." she coos, pulling the hood that you had covering your face down, exposing you to the bright sunlight.

"No it's not," you groan. "They probably don't even think I'm that good of a reporter!"

"Don't say that." the blonde scolds, shoving you lightly. "You're a terrific reporter! Anyone who thinks differently is a dumbass."

You find strength and sit up, phone still clutched tightly in between your fingers. Scrolling to the top of your inbox, you still find nothing.

A whine bubbles out of your throat. You feel like a kicked puppy on the side of the road.

Tossing your phone aside, you stand up and sluggishly make your way towards the small kitchen the two of you share. You take one look at the fridge and slam it shut, making your way back to the couch.

"No one should have to stress out this much over a job," you shout, flopping onto one of the couches.

"y/n?-"

"I mean if you think I'm that bad of a reporter, then say it to my face! Don't make me sit here and wait like a fucking idiot-"

"Y/n?"

"who has all the time in the world. which, by the way I don't! I'm a professional reporter with nine years of experience and I have a degree!-"

"Y/N!"

You turned to yell back, only to be met with the bright screen of your phone. You glanced down and felt your heart drop.

It was an email from the MLB.

You screeched and snatched the phone out of Penny’s hands, running to sit on the couch. 

This is it. The moment you’ve waited for since you were 11 years old. 

“Subject: Congratulations on Your New Role with the New York Yankees!”

What.

[kairiscorner]

Okay, this is entirely based on a situation I was in with one of my coworkers.

But, imagine Miguel coming back from HQ, in a bad mood cause he was stuck working with idiots, and he goes straight to the office to check on the other Earths. Lyla warns him to be quiet, he wants to ignore her but just plays along cause he can hear music from in there. He sneaks up, peeks in, and just sees his sweet little lady just GROOVING to some good ole y2k Spanish dance music. I'm talking Daddy Yankee's peak, Shakira, N.O.R.E, that music that got your hips absolutely moving. Bonus points if he's like everyone else and thinks she couldn't dance like that cause she's so "prim and proper" (According to Hobie)

I know I nearly killed my coworker with whiplash when that happened with me lmao gotta keep folks on their toes ~ 🍄

OMG I ACTUALLY MADE A BOT RELATED TO THIS IDEA, time to bring it to life yet again <33 I LOVE THAT FOR YOU THOUGH, 🍄 ANON !! i also dance when nobody's looking, IT JUST FEELS RIGHT OK !! ANYWAY, I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

he can't look away. — miguel o'hara x reader

fuming and muttering under his breath in anger, miguel rips a portal open into HQ and storms his way in the building. he had yelled his mouth off at a bunch of know-it-alls in his team and disengaged from the situation by storming off back to HQ to gather his thoughts and cool down. when he got there, the place was practically deserted. the only thing that was present in the atmosphere in the whole building was the faint sound of upbeat, lively music that reverberated throughout the empty halls of the building. "what now?" miguel asked himself with furrowed eyebrows as his mask dissipated and he trudged over to where the music was coming from. lyla appeared on his shoulder and raised an eyebrow at him. "you might not wanna go that way right now." she warned miguel as he wordlessly dismissed the AI assistant.

"i swear, if someone is throwing a fucking party up here, voy a perder la cabeza." miguel muttered to himself as he got up to the floor where the music was playing, and searched for the exact room where the party music was. he didn't bother knocking on the door anymore, he flung the door open and scowled. "what the fuck's going o-" miguel growled, but was soon interrupted by the loud music blaring and ringing in his ears, and the sight of his dearest little lover absolutely jamming to the music. their hips were swaying from side to side, their arms flailing in the air as they let the music overtake their body, doing such bold moves that nobody would believe they were capable of due to how sweet, innocent, prim, and proper they seemed (at least, according to some of the chaotic ones, like hobie, gwen, and pav).

miguel's mouth hung open as he requested lyla to lower the music slightly so he could focus on how his darling was grooving to the music, not having a care in the world as to what was going on around them except for the music carrying them away into the zone. they sang along to the songs and shook their bodies to the beat, with their eyes shut all the while and with a grand smile on their face, they danced and danced until they hit a wall; miguel's broad chest. they looked up at miguel and looked back at his broad chest, they soon got all embarrassed and turned off their speakers and looked down at the ground in embarrassment. miguel raised an eyebrow again at this sudden act of timidity.

"what's wrong? you looked so happy dancing, please..." miguel trailed off as lyla played the music even louder, with miguel taking your smaller hands in his as his face broke out into a small, sweet smile. "...may i dance with you?" he asked you as you looked into his eyes with bright, beaming eyes and nodded, a smile on your face again as you swayed with miguel and danced with him; this little dance party the two of you having together melting away the stress and tension he was experiencing earlier, where all he can focus on is you and the perfect way your body looked while dancing, and how his heart skipped a beat whenever he heard you smile and felt your hands in his as he spun you around and dipped you ever so often.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @fable-library @ophanimgold @fictarian @yuridopted0 @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok

[yuujisonlylove]

Emergency call

Sypnosis: You recently graduated as a nurse, oficially working like one already. You had to attend some people that were injured on an accident, is there when you find your ex bf from like 2 years ago is there too!

Words count: 1.6k

TW: No one? Slightly mentions of physical damage, nothing serious.

Btw, my first time writing! I've never written before and english isn't even my first language. Sooo; anyways, I had this idea hearing "Llamado de emergencia" - Daddy Yankee.

Well, it's been like 2 years already?

The last time he saw you, you were almost in the middle of your nursing career or something. He assumes you are already working or something, he doesn’t really understand how medicine careers work or something, it's kinda complicated. 

The only reason he cares it’s because it was the reason he broke up with you, some shit like “I want more time to study, but don’t worry, I will come back after some years”.

Surprise, it's already been two years and no notice of you after you left the town.

Anyways, he was cooking some shitty recipe he saw on instagram, he didn't even know why he even tried. The only times he eats decent cooked food is when he goes to dinners or when you used to cook for the both of you. He thinks he is almost over your awesome self; he doesn’t cry hearing cigarettes after sex songs while he sees your polaroids together. Plus, he remembered you because he can’t believe how someone can be that bad at cooking, i mean, himself.

He smelled something weird, gas? Nah, it can’t be, he is very careful with that and plus he trust the safety of the complex of his apartment enough to assume it can’t be a gas leak. So, he saw the third step of the recipe and went to the oven to see how it was all going until… Bum!

Yeah, to the surprise of no one, it suddenly all burns in fire. It was a gas leak, of course it was, the smell warned him like ten minutes ago but he is just too fucking stubborn.

-

You were resting calmy, eating a piece of bread and a coca cola with your work buddies. Until you get a call. Some people were hurted by some kind of explosion and they needed immediate help; it was your work anyways, now that you are officially a nurse.

You fastly fix your uniform and get onto the ambulance with the rest of your coworkers. Well, it’s not the kind of thing you would like to do on your first day in this hospital after they transferred you back to your hometown. But, work is work and you get paid for this.

You are on the back with Shoko, your friend. A guy it's driving to the building and the other passenger puts on some music. It's not the best to put Ariana Grande on the way to attend people probably dying, but it calms you all in the meantime.

When you arrive, you already see the firemen attending to some people and turning off the fire of the building. You fastly got out of the ambulance and went to the first person you saw, fastly making him (apparently, you haven’t paid attention yet) lay down on a stretcher while you took out your first aid box and finally saw him.

For your surprise, and his surprise too. It's him, your ex, great. Congratulations I guess, you kinda missed him when you were gone, welcome back Satoru Gojo!

“What a surprise, mhm?” You said with a subtle smile, checking his vital signs while he looked at you in amusement.

“You- Uh…” He tries to say, you just made a “shhh” sound, putting your index fingers softly over his lips to shut him up, you knew him. You ignored his attempts to talk and leaned over to hear his heartbeat with your stethoscope.

“How bad, it seems we have to get you to emergencies” You say, fastly keeping all your supplements in their box again, calling two of your coworkers to put his stretcher on the ambulance. In less than a wink, he is already being attended by other people and you were looking out for other hurted people.

-

For his sweet delight, he saw you. How lucky he felt, he was just thinking of you some minutes ago, what a coincidence.

It was sweet seeing you, at least he knows now you are officially graduated and working already, and in this town. Fuck, you would miss him? He wouldn't mind coming back to your arms again and eating your delicious food every day.

He can’t think that much with those annoying murmurs of the doctors attending him and the insufferable screech on his ears. He just gets to distinguish something about some high pressure? I guess.

Anyways, going back to the initial and important theme. Damn, you looked good on your uniform, too good. How lucky he is to be saved by you. Maybe not saved because he will probably survive this but, anyways, you get the point.

After like an hour, you come back to the ambulance. You sigh and make a messy ponytail on your hair, sweating a bit. “God, luckily just him is gravely hurted” You said, sitting beside his stretcher and you chuckle quietly looking at him.

He slowly started to feel dazed, looking badly and even imagining hearts in his view as he saw you. What was that? Effects of the anesthesia, better late than ever, right?

He felt kinda drugged, ngl, but in a good way. If you already looked good, now having you in front of him seeing you prepare a needle with hearts (that he was imagining) around you and like a pink kdrama type filter it just makes everything better.

“Satoru, I'm going to put this in your arm, okay? Stay still” You saw, one hand softly resting on his stomach as you stood up next to him, looking down at him with a calm expression.

*”Satoruu” He repeats giggling, it seems he just heard that; looking at you even with more hearts and everything, hell, he even thinks it's in the background reproducing some romantic music.* Well, news, it was like some the weeknd song btw, nothing romantic.

“Yeah, ‘Satoruu’. You knew it was your name?! Wao!” You giggled, seeing the man smiling lazily at you and giggling. You take advantage of his calm state to introduce the straddle.

“Mhm. But it sounds better when you say it.” He hummed, replying as you put a band-aid on his arm.

“Oh, don’t tell me” You laugh again, checking his vital signs again and letting out a sigh of stress. For then, start to drink from a bottle of water you had around.

“You.. You and I should be sleeping happily, maybe even in this shit. It can stand the two of us, you aren’t that heavy” He says suddenly, looking at you. You, in disbelief spill out a bit of your water out of your mouth in a laugh. Even the other people laugh, hell, even Shoko who was driving.

“Fuck… Sorry?” You try to calm your laugh at him, both of your arms softly resting on the side of where he is laying.

“I told you, like, you look good enough right now. You take off my pants and th-” He tries to say, only to be interrupted by you softly slapping his chest and laughing loudly again with the rest of the people.

“Control your mouth” You said laughing again, you can’t believe this man. It has been two years and he hasn't changed a little, he always used to expose you and himself like this.

-

When everything has calmed down, you led his stretcher to the emergency room fastly and prepared himself to rest. He wasn’t that badly injured really, he can leave in like an hour.

“Well, Satoru, you seem well. If you’re lucky, you can leave in like 30 minutes” You said, checking his papers and writing something on the other. Standing next to him.

“Im not well” He says with a pout, it seems the anesthesia still have effects.

“Oh, and that's why?” You sit next to him with a smile, looking at him with your eyes, battling your eyelashes at him unconsciously.

“You left me, a long time ago” He said sadly, yep, it seems he still has the anesthesia effects. You just chuckled and rolled your eyes, seeing him slowly fall asleep.

-

Some hours after, he woke up feeling a bit bad, a bit better, a bit of everything. He had a headache, kinda hard.

He groaned and looked up, not remembering well the events of yesterday more than your beautiful self. He fastly rubbed his eyes and tried to look up for you, abruptly trying to stand up.

“Calm your ass, she isn't around right now.” A female voice says, the woman placed a hand on his chest to stop him. He looked at her and well, it was Shoko, unfortunately.

“Shoko, the fuck? I haven't saw her in like two years and then she came but then she is g-” He tries to say, his pressure abruptly growing. Shoko makes an “ooo” sound, checking some appliances around him.

“Calm down Satoru, look at your pressure. I think you should check yourself out sometimes, something is wrong with your pressure” She says, looking at him.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” She humm, taking all the appliances and things on him out, letting him free to go.

“Good luck, she gave me this.” Shoko said, her hand looking for something in her pockets. She take out a pack of cigarettes, her keys and then… Finally!

She gave him a paper, she didn’t read it so she can’t explain to him what it is. Anyways, she has more work and she can text him later, she walks out the place while she waves her hand at him.

Satoru walks out the place with a sigh and look out at the paper.

-

“Heyy, so here’s my number ****-**** !!

missed u, ig :p

w love, Y/n”

[pjshermann]

do you have willem headcanons. and may we know them

Ohohohoho I fucking love A Little Life headcanons I’ll never shut up about it

These are my Willem headcanons

- Is a Yankees fan, so he and Harold (A Red Sox fan) have gotten into many arguments over their respective teams

- Despite being very pale, he tans really good. Rarely gets sunburnt

- Was short growing up, then hit a massive growth spurt in middle school

- As a young boy, he would often create and put on one-man skits to entertain Hemming. This was how he discovered his love for acting

- Similarly to Jude, he has rough, muscular hands because he grew up helping his parents with work on the ranch

- Sometimes uses Swedish nicknames/petnames for his friends

- On his high-school football team, he was the wide receiver

- Celebrated St. Lucia’s day growing up, but stopped as he got older and left for college. Then, after his parents passed, he began to celebrate it again to remember them

- When he did track in high-school, he excelled the most in long-distance running

- Writes all of his notes and reminders in Swedish.

- He’s gotten completely used to seeing it, but on very rare occasions (usually on days where he finds himself remembering Hemming more intensely) he will sometimes look at Jude’s wheelchair and feel slightly sad because it makes him recall Hemming’s wheelchair. He has never mentioned this to Jude, because he knows Caleb used a similar reasoning as an excuse to hurt Jude.

- Annoys the makeup artists/hair stylists on set because he’s very antsy and fidgety in his chair. Can’t sit still for the life of him. They only tolerate him because he’s very genuinely apologetic about it

- Uses his grandfather’s silver mug as his coffee (when he stopped drinking coffee, tea) mug

- Back when the boys used to go to Pho Viet Huong, he was the one who most often got sick from the food

[marysunshine23]

Wadanohara and the Great Blue Sea - "Who Can Say F*ck"

I shall explain in the order of the wiki (Major A-Z, Minor A-Z)

Dolphi: She's the equivalent of a 5-7 year old. No f-bombs.

Fukami: With his history of being a Yankee before joining Wada, I believe he's trying very hard to not swear anymore. But if you piss him off enough, he'll forget and swear.

Helica: Look me dead in the eye and tell me that she and her polyamorous group do not say fuck every single day.

Meikai: I believe when he was a younger man he said it every so often.

Memoca: The only reason she hasn't said fuck is because Fukami and Wada won't let her.

Mikotsuhime: So... uh... I'm not even sure if she's heard the word "fuck". But I'm sure if someone explained it too her, she probably wouldn't say it.

Pulmo: I have no real reasoning besides the fact that hearing her, in her floaty voice, saying "fuuuuuuuuck" makes me laugh. I don't think she would, but I think she could.

Samekichi: Similar to Fukami, he probably said fuck A LOT before Wada. But now he doesn't say it at all. Like, not even when he's alone.

Sal - Shark Form: I have a hard time believing that Shark Form Sal would swear. He's trying to be as inconspicuous and delightful as possible. There's no way in hell he's swearing.

Sal - Humanoid: Again, I don't think he'd swear in front of people, and he's spent a lot of time in the spot light. So now that he's been exposed, I imagine he could say fuck if he wanted to.

Tatsumiya: Absolutely would never swear ever, even the thought gives her anxiety.

Totsusahime: I imagine she tries not to say fuck for the sake of her image and not to piss off her dad, but... she trips up.

Adauchi: I dunno, he just gives off that vibe.

Aom: Not sure what made her decide to stop saying it, but it was enough that saying it on accident makes her feel guilty

Artamos: Before gaining the crown? Fuck every day. After having a daughter? Not a swear word spoken.

Cherryblod: If you know his history, you know why I think this.

Chlomaki: I think she says "fuck" as a filler. So instead of "um", "er", or "like", she just says fuck.

Creamil: Doesn't think it's classy.

Doloz: I refuse to think she could swear.

Great Witch: I think she's too classy for that, but I don't think she's necessarily above swearing.

Hofuru: No place in her line of work to be swearing.

Idate: You know that song that's just a bunch of swear words? That's his favorite song. That and the assumptions song.

Irena: She strikes me as someone who generally doesn't swear, but if it's an emergency and she needs to get someone's attention, she will.

Jiiya: Royal translator for the Princess? Never.

Laurentia: Probably saving it as an intimidation tactic or something.

Lobco: With how often Chlomaki says it, she probably is just tired of hearing it; let alone saying it.

Minero: Anytime she falls or gets hurt, it's "Ah fuck!"

Miyura: See Helica.

Nekoyama: Like... he could swear... but doesn't have a reason to...

Old: Similar to Chlomaki, uses "fuck" as a filler word.

Rimorimo: Probably would say something like "Shut the fuck up, Minero." But hasn't gotten that impatient.

Seguro: See Helica.

Sheep: Seems like the type to say the most vile things possible just to get a reaction. Fuck is the mildest thing out of their mouth.

Squid: Too much of a baby [derogatory] in my mind.

Stella: Putting effort into saying it effectively is too tiring for her.

Tarako: Similar to Pulmo, the idea of Tarako swearing is hysterical. Though I imagine it's something like they heard someone else say it and they had an echolalia moment.

Tomoshibi: Too tired, probably asleep.

Tsuribari: Probably cussed out those who abandoned him, but after a while the satisfaction from saying it faded away and he just decided he was done.

Ver Million: Similar to Tsuribari, kinda just got tired of saying it.

Edit: 9-28-24

Wadanohara: I refuse to believe she's even capable of saying fuck. And I seriously doubt Tatsumiya or Samekichi would let her even hear it.

[screechingsandwichhologram]

my amrev ocs if they had tumblr

🌓 dressedsword

HOLY SHIT PAUL REVERE JUST RODE THROUGH TOWN HOLY FUCK ITS HAPPENING

🪁 kiterrrrr Follow

why r you blogging and not fighting. fake ass

🌓 dressedsword

bitch i'm a fucking woman. can't exactly pull up to fort william and mary in stays now can i

🐴 pennsylvaniarifle Follow

not if ur coward

35 notes

🐏 tumblefarmer

man we kicked their fucking assesss let's goooo !!! first fight of rebellion woooo !!!

👒 spindledpoet

..... i'm glad you made it back home but not sure we should be celebrating the beginning of what certainly will become a war

🌓 dressedsword

john shut the fuck up ur just salty sam trampled ur flowers on his way out of the house

5 notes

🌺 massalilly Follow

FIRST SHOTS FIRED IN LEXINGTON AND CONCORD HOLY SHIT

🐏 tumblefarmer

WHAT THE FUCK MASSHOLES RUIN EVERYTHING

17,756 notes

👒 spindledpoet

hey guys is coughing up blood normal

💦 pantingmanthing Follow

NO???

👒 spindledpoet

damn

12 notes

👣 sandyfootprints Follow

god war fucking sucks. first day on the job and im spitting out some dudes blood. he probably had a wife. cant even drink bc they told us not to

❣ crimsonfingerlicking

yummy

👣 sandyfootprints Follow

why am i on tumblr

67 notes

🐏 tumblefarmer

guys. i really really really wanna join the war. is that a good idea. my cousin is ill and his sister is unmarried but i cant just stand by. i cant leave them but i must fight for my homeland and for the freedom my ancestors were promised

🫡 kissingcontinental Follow

join us we need men so so bad plsss

🪶 writerlover Follow

fight to build a better tomorrow for your family

🐏 tumblefarmer

okay im doing it!!! going down to mass this weekend

23 notes

🌓 dressedsword

hey so like. is. is. do we think that. maybe in the new country we could like. idk . maybe uhhh. give women rights?

1 note

🐏 tumblefarmer

guys war sucks ass its so fucking boring im just sitting in camp. a guy just fucking sneezed in my food. i hate it here

🌹rosedlionheart Follow

thats what you yankees get for picking a fight with the strongest army in the world

🐏 tumblefarmer

doesnt ur king piss blue

784 notes

🫶 letteredolley Follow

damn my fav dress maker is too sick to make me a new dress :// fuck my life

🐓 kickerchicker Follow

girl we are in the middle of a war that is Not the thing to worry about

💋 marieantoinette Follow

god forbid women do anything

🥖 lalanterne Follow

wrong dash. ur time will come

1,789 notes

🕯️carpediemcandled Follow

aw fuck the cute boy that was stationed near me just fucking died from camp fever </3

🕯️ carpediemcandled Follow

he was so cute too :// a french canadian farmer from new hampshire that was like. super into sheep and goats. he was super clumsy too. but like in a cute way

🕯️ carpediemcandled Follow

aughhhh :((( i was going to bring him one of my nice candles :(((

10 notes

🌓 dressedsword

FUCK

0 notes

👒 spindledpoet

yknow that feeling you get when you look at your reflection and you feel like you are going to throw up

🙏 universalfriend Follow

yes

👒 spindledpoet

thanks

7 notes

❣️crimsonfingerlicking

is there.... money? in war

🦁 redbloodedredcoat Follow

dm me

2 notes

🦋 painfulpoet Follow

@ spindledpoet are you , okay??

👒 spindledpoet

i have a horrible thing inside me that i understand now but i can not continue. i am dying.

👒 spindledpoet

please do not let them forget that i was among you

9 notes

👒 spindledpoet

i am making a dress. i must finish it. it will be the best yet. it will be my last one. delphine needs the dress. she needs the dress. i need the dress

1 notes

🦋 painfulpoet Follow

@ dressedsword hey is ur brother okay?

🌓 dressedsword

he is very ill and delirious often. our cousin has died in the war. i have little means of supporting us and he is too sick to leave the bed. when he is aware he cries and writes. his handwriting has spoiled

🌓 dressedsword

he is not for long. he will be gone before any letter or parcel of yours will travel the atlantic. i am sorry

4 notes

👒 spindledpoet

i don't want to hurt my sister but delphine is waiting for me

0 notes

🌓 dressedsword

gonna log off for a bit

1 notes

🌗 designedpamphlet Follow

shit. i'm fucking doing this

0 notes

[gryz]

3, 9, & 19 <3

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

never shutting up about MICHELLE ever again they're so fucking good

9. Best month for you this year?

july, which is impressive considering i had still-healing skull fractures. but i started it by acing a huge exam and then went to the eras tour, saw noah kahan at fenway with my best friend, and saw the red sox beat the yankees. what more can you ask for

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

going to boston again in january and finally going to my first bruins game!!! also by the end of the year i'll have handed in my thesis and be about a month out from graduating

end of the year asks