#so quality drop teehee

[opioidbandit]

idk what to caption

[l-tora-l-archived]

HOYOFAIR : The engines are heated, and we have our racers, technicians, and a... poet!? 2 days left, stay tuned to HoYoFair2024!

[deva-arts]

Has Vincent ever truly broken down and admitted to having real feelings? Every facade's gotta crack at some point.

Vincent likes to pretend he's uncaring and unempathetic (especially regarding Sera,) but he's surprisingly protective of others, regardless of who they are.

...

...In his own way, of course.

Teehee so I wrote something about this um I never post any written oc stuff so enjoy

Sunlight wafts through the curtains where the couple lay peacefully atop the bed. Nathaniel was finally home from a long shift at the medbay, and Seraphina had decided to take a break from tuning her weapons to stay with him for the day. Birdsong filled the room, and they savored the soft, sleepy embrace they were in; life pried them apart far too much to be wasteful with quiet moments.

Nathaniel pulls her a bit closer, then freezes, mental gears whirring. Seraphina noted the pause right away.

She pries her eyes open to squint at him. “What’s wrong.”

He still has the face on- the face that says he is trying to understand something absurd yet concerning. “I-…” As if trying to prove himself wrong, he feels for her ribs again over her shirt, following the curve as his hands enveloped her torso. Oddly enough, he even motioned to count each one, only to halt in yet another worried pause, lips pressed into a thin line.

Seraphina quietly observed him, raising an eyebrow. “…Hugs exist, Nathaniel. No need to reinvent the wheel with whatever this is."

Nathaniel stops, nonplussed, then he breaks into laughter, forgetting his previous alarm. Success. "Hah... Ahah.. No, it isn’t that…” His face falls back into a placid smile, and he pulls his hands away to sit up beside her.

Blast it all.

“It’s just that… Something is-“ He makes a vague motion with his hands. “-Different with your bone structure, but I wouldn’t be able to tell just what without proper scans.”

She blinked, sitting up to meet his expression. Were they really going to talk about this now? “Ah. Well that was kind of obvious, wasn’t it? I wouldn’t be able to function if I were a normal human with wings slapped on me.” …Was that wrong? Did he have some odd hope dashed regarding her skeleton of all things? Was he weirdly fascinated about skeletons???

He gave her a concerned, humorless grin. “I know that… But… Ser…”

Seriously? He was weirdly fascinated about skeletons?

Seraphina was unimpressed. “I fail to see how this is important at the moment, Nathaniel.” And right when they got some quality time...

Nathaniel didn’t respond. He looked away, his expression unreadable while he softly wrung his hands in thought. …She never liked when he got quiet like this. It always tugged her heart wrong.

Well, whatever it was, it was certainly worrying him to this point. Might as well hear him out. Sera gave his shoulder a light squeeze in an effort to be consolatory. This usually helped, right?

“… I was being... Harsh. What’s wrong, Liebe?”

Nathaniel hugs an arm around her shoulders, keeping her close by. So it’s a hug that works in this situation. Duly noted. She hugs him back, sweeping a wing over his shoulders.

He hums. “I…I don’t think I could practice on you and your brother with the same confidence as before.” He pauses. “All this time, I’ve been working under the assumption that you were just atypicals... But… No common atypicals have genetic variations that run that deep. They usually follow similar ‘rules’, so to speak.”

He drops his gaze to look at her. “I don't know how I've missed this, but I found something entirely different with a cursory check. Which means that I was operating on you with no clue about your bodily composition. All this time.” …Oh. Nathaniel remains ever pensive, even a little guilty.

…That...

"It also means that you've got a more heavily manipulated variation. At least enough to alter things to this point while still retaining humanoid anatomy." 

“…I see.” She says, hugging him a little tighter. His face softened a bit, which Seraphina took as a win as she considered his words. This was certainly a cause for concern... But… She also knew Nathaniel had a tendency to bear his responsibilities on himself rather harshly. He was probably beating himself up about it even now.

"You couldn't have known, Nathaniel." She says, trying to keep her tone easy.

He exhales. "That's the point."

Sera rests her cheek against his shoulder. “…Well. Even then. We’re alive, aren’t we?” Something told her this wasn’t the best way to lift his spirits. And she was right- he frowned in record time.

“You’re alive, until the next time you two inevitably get yourselves hurt, that is.” Nathaniel muttered. “What would I do then? Improvise if I encountered a new organ? use my imagination?”

“I doubt it’s to the point that I have new-“

“You doubt, but you don’t know.” He looks at her again. "And I don’t either.”

Her face sours at that. Yet another odious thing prying them away from some rest. First it was Sonia's armor, then Amon's training, then the time they all got the flu...

“…Can we please take a few scans in my office?” Nathaniel asks, ever gentle.

"...You won't let up about this, will you?" She digs her fingers into his shirt in an attempt to coax him to stay and relax. He tragically doesn't cede to the gesture.

"It's kind of important, Ser. We can cuddle later."

Seraphina huffed and kicked away the covers, vaulting off the bed. “Never a dull moment…”

Nathaniel merrily followed suit. “Let's be honest, who’d want a dull life, anyhow?”

---

“You aren’t doing shit to her.” Vincent sneered.

Nathaniel sipped some of his tea. Wow. So much for asking him for reference. He decided to waste his breath a little more. “For the nth time Vincent, I’m trying to see how her anatomy works, and that info would be really useful so I-“

Vincent loudly interrupted him. “So you can what, you lanky fuck? see how different you are? Find excuses to— to break her down? Gut her like a fish?”

Sera walked into the room in some light sportswear. "Vincent, what are you talking about-“

“NO.” He snaps at her, then turns back to Nathaniel. "Fuck you, Sasquatch. You. Aren’t. Doing. Shit. To. Her. I’ll make sure of that. I'll kill you. I swear I will.” Nathaniel kept watching on as he continued the insults. Hum. Sasquatch was a pretty genius remark in hindsight.

Seraphina rolls her eyes. “While I appreciate your sudden and unneeded sense of protection, I’ll remind you that Nathaniel is my partner.” She said. “I don’t need your approval. Stop harassing him.”

Vincent rolled his eyes. “You don’t know— You don’t know this. You say it’s okay but then they—” Seraphina interrupts him."There is no they, Vincent. There’s only one person here that will be doing this, and you’ve known Nathaniel for years-“

“I knew them for my whole life.” Vincent balled his fists until his knuckles popped. “My whole life. They only got worse, their ‘questions' became worse, and they never stopped, even though they knew me. There was always a reason to… To…!” He looks down, making a strangling gesture with his snarled hands, eyes filled with emotions she's never seen him express. He snaps his sights back to Nathaniel, ever hateful. "To RUIN ME."

“So don’t blame me for seeing this as another obvious excuse. That’s what they all say- that— that they need answers, and then they wreck you.” Vincent’s usual rasp of a voice almost seemed shaky for a moment. 

Nathaniel sets his mug down. "I'm not doing any of those things, Vincent."

"YET."

This was new. It was odd to see any sort of empathy displayed by Vincent, especially towards her of all people. Sera didn’t know what to say. Where were his complaints about her? the out of pocket comments? the impromptu call to something she’s inferior for?

…Why did it almost seem like he cared?

---

“It should’ve been you." He says between bloodied coughs as she pulled off the last wire relays. He had no more energy to keep fighting, nor stimulants to keep him moving. He sucks in another ragged breath to speak, eyes brimming with pure hatred. "All this time… You got to have everything. Everything, when you should’ve been hacked apart with me. You should've been in hell with me. I wish you were. Then they would have realized you’re nothing special, 02. Nothing worth missing. You’ve always just been a cheap replacement.” 

---

...Right.

Seraphina scowled. There was no way in hell that this cockroach was going to act chummy with her of all things. That bridge was burned the day they met.

“Look, you—“ Sera started to respond, but was met with Nathaniel’s “cut it out” face. Bother. She crossed her arms and let him handle the rhetoric.

“Alright Vincent, are you really convinced that I’ll hurt your sister somehow?” Nathaniel asked, crossing his arms with an odd, almost knowing glint in his eyes. So he did have a plan... But what was it?

“…There’s always an opportunity. ” He said lowly. If looks could kill...

“Fine, how about you stay in the room, then? You’d be able to see firsthand that it’s nothing to worry about.” Nathaniel gave him a bright smile. It was almost enough to make her forget what he just offered. Seraphina glared at him. “What.”

Vincent eyed him, judging him under criteria she couldn’t guess if she tried. “Alright, Sasquatch.”

WHAT.

"If you do something funny I’m destroying your clinic. Then you.”

Nathaniel didn’t hesitate to reply. “Sounds good.”

Sera gripped her crossed arms while Vincent took a seat on the opposite side of the room. Nathaniel grinned at her, shooting her a goofy two-eyed wink.

“Relax, Ser. It’s only some scans, your privacy won’t be violated if he’s there. I'm also making sure my clinic doesn’t get destroyed.” She hated how casual he sounded about this.

“I’m starting to hate your improvisations.” She grumbled.

“You forget that he lives with us.”

—

Vincent was… Nonplussed, after everything was wrapped up. It was like being shocked— no, wrong word— surprised, but in a good way- he didn’t have the term for that feeling yet.

His idiot knockoff was perfectly fine. Sober. Painless. Not even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Possibly a little awkward since he was there, but he had to be there, otherwise-

…

Otherwise…

…Really, what would that beanpole have done?

Vincent really didn’t know what he was so upset about. He did know Nathaniel for a long while, but... He also didn’t know what separated their coats from his. He wouldn’t risk it either way. Ever since the first day he looked into Sasquatch’s eyes, he knew there was something fucked up underneath.

...It didn't sit right with him.

Hell, he didn’t even have a word for a check this boring. Nice words? Gentle handling? No shoving into scanner machines? no electrocution? No VAST tech? Not even the slightest threat or restraint? As Nathaniel promised, she was okay and unmoved as ever, staring at him with the sort of look that said “I told you so.” What she would never know is that he had no grounds to believe him before this. He’s never seen tests like these before.

It was eventually finished in around three hours time. Nathaniel had made a catalogue of important scans, cross-referencing whatever he found with some basic physical inspection that culminated in checking her range of motion, doing a modest external examination, and being overall professional. Vincent thought that being professional meant being extra good at heartlessness, like knowing how to keep working for hours to the tune of agonized screams. Or making deep, precise cuts to a writhing, tabled subject.

...

His chest aches.

...No. Everything does.

Vincent was certain that Nate was going to pull out earplugs at some point and was ready to wring his neck like a towel.

...

But he didn't.

He didn't do any of those things.

It was there that Vincent realized another thing. If this was all Sasquatch needed to piece together what was going on inside of her, then why did they do so many procedures to him under the pretense of doing the same? He expected force, vivisection, grueling trials, and humiliation. He expected to see suffering, gritted teeth, and uncaring faces. But none of that was supposed to happen. Only a light exam with happy words, full consent, and a sunlit room.

Vincent felt something overwhelming for a moment- the sort of emotion he would’ve immediately attributed to harrowing jealousy. Envy so destructive, so fierce that it eats him from within. But no, now he finally found the word for it. The word he never understood how to convey, since he felt it all the time and no one would listen.

Vincent felt hurt; unbelievably so.

Was he just dealt a shit hand at every turn in life? Why couldn’t he have nice things? Why was everything so fucked for him from day one?

Why could no one care?

He realized at that moment, that everything he was forced to learn was a mere casualty.

And now... He is left with... Nothing.

—

Seraphina stepped out of the scanner’s range and walked up to him. “See, Vincent? There was nothing you needed to break into histrionics about. I’m fi-“ “Shut up.” He cut her off and shoved a data-port into Nathaniel’s hand. “You’ll find a better use for this.”

Nathaniel briefly looked it over. “What is-“

“You two proved me wrong. Good. I’m out, now.”

Before Nathaniel could even call for him, Vincent was already out of the circular window and speeding between the clouds. A trail of mist was left in his wake until his silhouette was too far to be seen.

Seraphina took the port from Nathan’s hands and observed; on it was a familiar logo- Venus Inc.

The organization that had apparently made them both. Whose existence Vincent loathed acknowledging, even in passing. The ones that nearly got ahold of her too, had she not been taken into hero work.

“Nathaniel.”

Nathan looked back at her, still looking out the window. “Yes?”

“Your insistence on him being there… You knew there was substance to his fear, didn’t you?”

“…More than you would think.” There was something grim about the look in his eyes. She already knew it meant nothing good.

Sera held his gaze for a moment, then pocketed the port herself. She would have to look into this later. But for now…

She rubbed Nathaniel’s back a little, offering a small smile. “Tell me what you learned from these scans of yours.”

The wave of darkness lightened up a little, and he smiled back. “Well… It’s… I can’t say I know everything yet, but for one your arterial mapping is entirely different.”

Oh.

Oh no. She legitimately could not care less.

He was bursting at the seams to speak about it though. His eyes were twinkling about the wondrous joys of… Anatomical function…?

…Perhaps it would benefit from a tactical perspective…

“Arteries? Do tell.”

"See, when we were still getting to know each other, I patched you up under the assumption that you were an atypical or something of that nature-“ He starts, activating the hologram projector in the ceiling.

“Yes, you’ve said that.” She says, eyeing some of the scan results that come out.

...Hm. Maybe it was a little interesting.

Nathaniel smiles at something, and starts to gesture towards some of the stills. “But in truth-"

[lenaperseveranceoxton]

I've been less motivated to post here lately because I only seem to have negative things to say about the modern state of Overwatch. I know damn well how annoying that is. In the words of Chris Griffin: "Why are you so fucking negative all the time?"

Alas, Lena "Tracer" Oxton is my original character, and I will forever be upset about how the newer developers don't seem to understand them.

First, Black Cat Tracer still drives me up the wall because they would not wear that, but even in the matching spray and name card, they don't have any of their personality. Lena has always been more puppy-coded than kitty-coded, anyway. I get it, though. Let's appease the homophobic straight men who play this game-- and Tracer, in particular-- for a living because that's where the money's at.

Then, I played Overwatch Classic, and as much as it made me appreciate how far the game has come in the few matches where I played any other hero, it is undeniably a Tracer main's playground. Thus, I played fifteen matches of Tracer and Tracer only for the "Play 15 matches as an Offense hero in Overwatch Classic" challenge, but even in my first match, hearing the old Overwatch 1 voice lines was a breath of fresh air.

They used to sound so cool, calm, and collected. Still excited and enthusiastic, no doubt, but more gentle. The way I described it while ranting to my friends who don't play Overwatch is that Tracer's new lines mostly sound like hyperactive Marvel quips written by someone who only had an "incorrect quotes taken from Vines" grasp on their personality and completely Flanderized them in the process.

This is Overwatch 2 Tracer's writing to me:

Sure, they are a silly and clumsy character at heart, but way to overdo it! Also, I still think the person who wrote the "Caught you staring!" line should be flayed alive in front of their family.

Speaking of Overwatch 1 interactions, I also realized how similar many of Overwatch 2's are. I already ranted in a previous post about how Lena used to be angrier towards Talon members-- take going from "It wouldn't be a problem if you just disappeared forever" to "Whoopsie-daisy, I got locked out of my phone," for example. In the same post, I also ranted about how Lena's new interaction with Illari feels like a duplicate of the one with Ashe.

Now, imagine the disappointment I felt when I heard the interaction they used to have with Genji about their survivor's guilt over Mondatta while playing Overwatch Classic and went through Overwatch 2's interactions to confirm my suspicions that they never take a similar tone in the glorified update latter game. They talk about the Slipstream Incident with D.Va and Mercy in Overwatch 2's spawn room interactions, but both times, they only say "Teehee! I can't believe I got lost in time! My bad!"

I know these newer interactions tend to be written by interns in their early twenties, as said interns would always celebrate on Twitter whenever their work got added to the game. Still, as a fellow early-twenty-something-year-old, the drop in quality to hiring actual, experienced writers shows. The only time we get an idea of how Lena copes with their baffling amount of trauma is when Emily tells us, the audience, in the Story Missions that they often fixate on something for hours straight to distract themself.

Whatever, man. Every time Blizzard makes a joke out of Lena "Tracer" Oxton, I give them a new mental illness in my canon rewrite. There are always new ways to torture my homunculus.

[ambitions-of-an-eccedentesiast]

REMEMBER WHEN I MENTIONED DOODLES! yeah its time for those now

put bubble transcriptions in alt if its too blurry

some lore may have been changed and they do vary in quality due to a lot of the art being o l d

Authors note: the art is old and makes me wanna die but I wanna talk about lanyon and jekyll's relationship more considering I lover their arc and I never got to it. Lanyon and Jekyll were friends through college and this friendship eventually developed into something more. however when things got more sensual- lanyons internalized homophobia kicked in h a r d. so he told Jekyll that this cant continue anymore but they can still be friends...however the tension of that night layed heavy between the two and so they never really talked and quite frankly avoided each other. that is until grabriel. who befriended them both. was like "hey...these two have mutual interests. I'm sure they'd love to know each other" anddddddddddd hense the trio is born. Gabriel is the glue that holds it together we love him <3 to talk more on Hyde and lanyon: Hyde loves to tease and toy around with him leaving lanyon baffled at how he knows so much despite them being absolute strangers- and also confused because a lot of what Hyde says is told through metephors here and there because this bitch just lovesssss being all sneaky and mysterious and shit. eventually though he gets to the point where teasing isn't enough- he and Jekyll get into an argument about Jekyll and lanyons past relationship and so Hyde begins to be passive aggressive with lanyon until it breaks into a fight. Hyde taking lanyons blind eye why the blind eye when...not counting the hole- wouldn't really affect him too much? because Jekyll doesn't want to hurt him.and Hyde doesn't want to horribly scar him. they still love him it's just complicated. during the fight though is when Jekyll tries to take back control- leaving Hyde to begin to partially transform before he gets away lettinglanyon. accidently see bits and pieces of Jekyll in him. the eyes. a bit of hair color coming through- teehee. after that whole ordeal Hyde and lanyon talk it out. lanyon explains that he knows and Hyde explains what's going on.. and Hyde apologies for the outburst and lanyon promises to be better. and then the two while not perfect and certainly not off to a good start- begin to slowly get better together and it begins to reflect on lanyon and jekyll again as well..its sweet I love em guyssssssssssssssss if you have any questions about the lore or story feel free to drop them in the box considering its a wrap folks! but there's still a lore more I love and would love to yap about.

[hashtagloveloses]

is nobody else uncomfortable from the barbenheimer jokes? regardless of the actual content or quality of the oppenheimer movie itself, the constant jokes being like "teehee haha silly barbie movie vs explosions bomb movie" seem insane to me - at least jokes coming from americans. our country dropped NUKES on people TWICE, and we may not have been alive when it happened, but it's not funny to joke about.

1) this is not the first or last time a fun pop culture movie has come out the same weekend as a serious historical biopic, so the jokes aren’t even original. but on top of that, they were DEFINITELY either boosted or planted by mattel's INSANELY well managed and extensive marketing campaign. this happens all the time, i know, i work in the industry.

2) the jokes got old in the first 2 weeks and especially when they hit mainstream news headlines.

3) it feels insensitive and offensive reducing the subject of the literal a-bomb to "it’s the dark explosions movie" and “movie for men when barbie for girls” and “barbie with mushroom cloud fanart”, when it's about literal fucking war crimes that not only harmed those the US bombed, but US citizens whose families are still affected by the radiation TO THIS DAY.

i know im gonna be called some sort of wokescold or whatever posting this and you're not a bad person for making jokes but i've felt uncomfortable with it the ENTIRE time and i just needed to voice it.

it’s also made enjoying barbie far less comfortable for me in general. i’m just trying to have a normal fun time talking about the well made existential girlhood film for adult women and instead i’m witnessing Jefferson Miku Binder 2.0 on the DAILY. learn some tact, guys.

[6okuto]

NIA OMFG SO ABT THE DATING APP POST U MADE (replies could not handle the novel I am about to impose on you)

the way I am so in love with iwa but he’s the epitome of not my irl type 😭 gym bros and their bland responses to hinge prompts scare me and I feel that he would have the exact profile you were talking abt. his redeeming quality would be like. a dog.

SAME WITH ATSUMU AND IT PAINS ME. PHYSICALLY PAINS ME BC THAT IS MY HUSBAND.

Bokuto would be the exception to the gym bro thing bc he is also a himbo and it shows (in the best way possible) and no one can resist that.

half of hq would not be my type irl and the other half that would be?? I’d be too scared to try to match cause they’re. gorgeous??????? Hello???

HOWEVER Akashi’s profile would totally be like cafe date vibes, libraries and very just. CALMING AND NICE AND I’D DO THE SAME AS YOU. The only thing is I think his prompt responses (I’m on hinge so this is the only dating app format ik) wouldn’t really give you tooooo much to work with but it’s ok no one can be perfect.

I think kuroo’s would be like super bf material tho. Like the kind of profile that you’re certain gets a lot of interaction and makes you wonder if he’s even active on the app anymore LOL. also gives good responses, he’s just slightly dorky but it’s so endearing and it adds to the appeal of his profile.

I think suna’s would be super chill with like humorous undertones and I’d probably end up trying to match with him bc of that. he gives gooddddd responses that are genuinely fun and non repetitive. he’s also not dry if you end up matching.

yk what no I’m giving atsumu a chance here. his prompt responses are. interesting to say the least. dry. he comes across a bit cocky. but his pictures don’t if that makes sense??? like he comes off as a genuinely sweet guy in his photos and videos. maybe I’m just too soft for him and I’m projecting, this is embarrassing.

I wanna add something abt oikawa but I genuinely cannot think of anything other than his photos would be insanely aesthetic and pretty. responses need a bit of work and his opening lines come off a bit strong but. it’s okay. he’s perfect and can do no wrong imo 🤷🏻‍♀️

ANYWAY SORRY I JUST GOT EXCITED AND WANTED TO SHARE. YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO THE SMAU, I WOULD EAT THAT UP!!!!!

HAIII REV!! EXACTLY. exactly. i'm sorry but not even a dog is enough for me i'm like Omg little dog and then don't match I'm sorry hajime.. Bokuto... my cutie pie naoooo 😭😭 i'd like to hope he'd answer the prompts cutely/in a funny way but i still wouldn't think we'd match well and skip him... BUT!!!! I think if they replied to one of my prompts i'd reply...?! < girl who Never Ever matches first Ever. like there's a photo where their smile looks very cutesie and i'm like Why not!

Akaashi. 🙂teehee. my favoritism i'm sorry everybody. he doesn't really have photos of himself so he has to ask friends for some and there's like one photo that's dimly lit where he's smiling with fluffy hair that would make my jaw drop and tears form in my eyes i'd want him so bad. one of his prompt answers would be like. a joke about how tired he is with all the work he has. something kind of basic But i love him so it's ok. for me specifically i mention my dislike for HTTYD 3 and i think he'd reply and be like wait you're so right can u explain more or something like that and I would Start Crying tears Of Joy PLEAASELEAASE PLEAPSAPPSLEPLEPA

omg kuroo. i understand. i actually first had the idea he looks kind of dorky (/affectionate) but he has a couple good photos and a meme and it's like Oh he's so real for that. also he's totaallyyy somebody who does an audio prompt 😭 it's something fawking stupid /Affectionate and i'd show my irls and we'd be like wait he's kinda cute while we laugh BJSHFBJSD there's also a group photo somewhere on there ! and maybe a video where you can hear him cackling! silly guy...

suna would have a stupid ass block text meme somewhere on his profile LOLLL there's a photo where he's in his room in the dark but i can also imagine he has one with good lighting outside that's one of the few he has... he Would be funny! he's all lowercase until u say something that gets him to laugh and he goes LMFAOOOOO WAIT and it's like Yes I got a good grade in Hinge. BFJSHBJSB

ATSUMU! totally has a pic where he's showing off his muscles or spiking But also wait he looks kind of cute and dorky in this other photo and also his prompt responses are funny this is crazy? I UNDERSTAND!!! maybe it could be like... he's not someone you'd swipe on initially but he sees Your profile and tries to switch it up to cater to you before replying to one of your prompts LOL. and maybe there's a pic of him helping samu make onigiri or just... something kind of domestic that makes u go oh alright he's nice?!

HMM OIKAWA.... also a volleyball pic somewhere. maybe with a medal or trophy of his LOL. but he can take good selfies Unfortunately smhhh /j so you're like aw fuck... i think i'd be like oh you're out of my league or Not my type but if that kind of guy replies to one of your prompts...Would you not be a little curious to see how that convo goes. he's good looking enough that he could just like people's first pic and move on but You're special and Funny and he's Curious okay!!!

THANK U!!! HTANKYEWWW I LOVE THINKING AND TALKING AND SHARING AND HEARING IDEAS IT'S SO FUNSIES NEVER APOLOGIZE 2 ME! i have So many smau series ideas bouncing around in my head i've never tried but if i ever do this one...U will b the first 2 know.

[black-salt-cage]

Hey all. While I will still be allowing fans of the mandela catalogue to follow, for the time being it's being moved to the graylist. I have yet to decide if it will be moved to the blacklist or not. Yes, we certainly do take requests from media with problematic creators, this is becoming increasingly uncomfortable. and to be quite honest, I dropped the series quite some time ago because the quality tanked. So I have no real reason to keep it up other than as another option.

as said, it's undecided. but for now please do not request from this media, or anything else to do with alex kister. thank you

oh yes, with that said though I encourage anyone who continues to side with alex kister to unfollow. this isn't some shady "teehee I'm better than you" thing, it's just a matter of I will very openly talk shit about the series since beforehand his followers would eat you alive if you criticized it, and that will now include my opinions about him

[skyfcx]

     Was listening to What I'm Made Of from Sonic Heroes and that made me think about Super Tails. And despite my extreme penchant for talking about Chaos stuff, it's very rare that I talk about my thoughts on Super Tails! I think I've made a single in-character post about Tails talking about it way long in the infancy of this blog, so I thought it'd be a prime time to make a proper headcanon post about it.

    ��First of all, it is extremely rare that Tails gets to go super. Like, it has only happened once canonically. He's gone super alongside Sonic and Knuckles during the fight against Metal Overlord where every team of three had to come together to put an end to Neo Metal Sonic's growing power. (yes tails and knuckles went into their proper super forms, miss me with that weak ass super bubble trash).

     The infrequency of Tails' Super Form showing up isn't due to a lack of need, it's just really taxing on the kid. Due to his lack of sensitivity to Chaos Energy, it's quite a difficult thing to reach, and even harder to hold onto, leaving him feeling drained both physically and mentally after the fact. The only reason he transformed for this occasion was because it was absolutely required. Without all of Team Heroes (team sonic is a dumb and egotistical name and was canonically retconned in an idw sonic free comic book day story comic teehee) giving it their all, the fight surely would've been lost.

     Though, with the transformation, Tails' best qualities get turned up to one hundred. His intelligence grows into that of a supercomputer, giving him the ability to virtually predict the actions of those he's in combat against. He's out here literally doing the Jojo "Your next line is..." meme. Through the most minute tells, he can foresee the motions of his opponents before they've even processed what they're about to do next, allowing him to dodge and counterattack long before the enemy has even begun their action. He's ultra instinct dodging. grabs your face. the twelve-year-old is ultra instinct dodging.

     But speaking of attacking, what of his physical strength? A Super Form boosts the body, not just the mind. And, well... admittedly, his physical strength still leaves a lot to be desired. He's not going to be the person stopping a laser with his bare hands or swinging a sword a thousand times the size of himself. He is strengthened certainly, but it's his endurance that is heightened to its utmost limit.

     Chaos is power… Power enriched by the heart. Talls' overwhelming need to see the bad situation to its final conclusion is what gives him a titan's endurance. He may not be dishing out the most damage, but this fox will not fall. You can send him crashing through mountains, batter him against a cliff face, or attack him with an unending barrage of violence. Do what you will, he will not sink. And while Super Forms naturally grant invincibility, Tails' form has the capability of lasting far longer due to this indomitable trait.

     Imagine, if you will, the in-game ring counter. Once it reaches 1, it simply stays there, refusing to drop to zero. So long as his friends are up and fighting, he will be by their side doing everything in his power to assist them. Before, without this power, he was but a glass cannon. The chance to be the stark opposite is the opportunity his Super Form provides.

     Finally, to make up for his less-than-amazing attack strength, the consistency of Tails often needing help to do his best work remains true, even in this state. As yes, the Super Flickies he has around him in Sonic 3 & Knuckles are also here to help! With his expansive mind, he gains the ability to speak any and all languages in this state. He uses this to call upon flying creatures and imbue them with the smallest bit of his own energy so that they can attack alongside him. He's still not going to be hitting as hard as Sonic, Knuckles, Shadow, Silver, or... anyone who can transform... but something is better than nothing!

     At the end of the transformation, Tails will find himself overwhelmingly tired and with a splitting migraine. The capability to hold so much more space in his mind disperses, but the thoughts themselves do not. At least, not immediately. He's often out of commission the very second the form ends, which is why it's so hard to knock him out of said form. Though sapping the Chaos Energy from him à la Eggman to Super Sonic at the beginning of Sonic Unleashed would still work...

[crowtrobotx]

Today is Chrysalis's one year anniversary. It's also Lottie's canon birthday! (Yes, I did this on purpose - her birthday was chosen long before I got the balls to post the fic lol.) I am feeling some type of way about it. On the one hand I was hoping I'd be further along, and lately I've been honestly feeling a bit saddened watching commenters/readers drop off bit by bit. I am trying to remind myself it's more than likely just people losing interest in RE8 itself and not a reflection on me or my writing quality, but man it's weird sometimes. Especially given how popular Check Engine was, it's hard not to take it personally! I know it's got the double whammy of OC fic and child fic and for some people that's just intolerable but I don't think I'm wrong for feeling that way and I won't apologize for it! On the other, and more overwhelmingly, I am so proud of myself. I work full time. I volunteer. I am going to school. I have many non-fandom related hobbies I keep up with. Friends. Family. An insane dog. To have written as much as I have is really cool! And crazy! And something I was terrified to do for YEARS, well before the game gave me the inspiration to actually go through with it! I spent the first part of my life unapologetically being a weird little girl, and then when I grew up and went to college and got a big people job I tried to play a part, an acceptable "role" that I thought I had to fulfill in order to meet some nebulous definition of success. Slowly but surely over the last four years I've been reconnecting with the person I tried to smother, and it's been amazing, incredible and just.... I dunno. It's weird when things go so right for me.

Anyway. This story represents a whole lot more to me than just "teehee put the blorbo in situations." I mean, it's partly that lbr, but it's also a gift to myself. It's a way to soothe a lot of agonies I've carried, a way to laugh. I'm going to keep gifting it to myself until it's done, whether I'm the only one around still reading it or not.

[titaniasfairy]

dilf!price who’s kid you babysit for. you can’t help but get jealous when he finally goes on a date!

this isn’t finished and if y’all want it i’ll finish it (with smut teehee)

cw: femreader!

price was a sad man with a sad life. he’d never admit it, but it was the truth. a 40-something retired military man fresh out of a nasty divorce. he’d gotten his son, jj (john junior), and the house she left him in, along with the bad memories of screaming fights in nearly every room in the house but he didn’t really have anything else.

sure every friday night his old army buddies that were still active would invite him out for drinks at a dingy pub, but that wasn’t really a social life was it? when they were deployed he was out of luck talking to anyone.

except for you. his young and bright babysitter who still had hope. you’re a cute little student who attends the local university that finds some extra money watching his little tot.

you were funny, sweet, kind; all the qualities anyone would admire in a girl. it seems like babysitting jj was more of a fun opportunity than a job for you, and price adored you for it.

you didn’t complain about payment, or cancelling last minute, you didn’t even mind staying the night for certain days. price thinks you’re more of a mother to his son than his ex-wife ever could be.

he couldn’t help but stare at your ass or look down your shirt at times, you were just so attractive! it’s just instinct to find his child’s mother-figure adorable when you play with him or cuddle him to sleep. price even gets jealous of his own kid sometimes.

it had been about a year, and his buddies were nagging him about not have a lass on his hip by now. eventually a certain scottish someone set him up with a lady about john’s age, with some boring full time job. she was remotely attractive and price didn’t want to turn down the offer, so they set up a date.

7:30 saturday night, he’d told you. of course you dropped everything to be at his doorstep like the wonderful babysitter you are. you sat on his leather couch with jj in your lap, playing some kind of game on your phone.

price comes in trying to tie a tie, obviously struggling. god he looked so attractive in dress clothes, didn’t he? you weren’t used to the burly man wearing such sophisticated clothes. embarrassingly, it sent butterflies to your core. after about 5 seconds of price fumbling over his own fingers, you offered help.

“need some assistance there?” you smiled while playing with jj. john didn’t notice how ridiculous he looked until you said something. he cleared his throat before speaking.

“yeah, hadn’t done this in awhile.” you placed jj off your lap and gave him your phone to play with. “let me help you” you stood in front of him, tying his tie with a focused look on your face. he always thought you looked cute while you were working on something.

john tried, he really tried to not look right down your cleavage but it was right there. how could he resist it? you finished up and went to the refrigerator to grab a drink.

“so hot date tonight, eh?” you chuckled while you cracked open a soda. price let out a laugh, you’re so funny to him.

“is that what it is?” he grabs his sports coat and his keys while he talks. “i don’t look ridiculous right? i haven’t been on a date in awhile.” you think his nervousness is cute despite how handsome he looks.

“i think you look quite handsome mr. price.” the way you always address him so formally makes his cock twitch in his dress pants.

“for the millionth time sweetheart, you can just call me john. but thank you, i gotta look nice re-entering the dating scene.” he checks his beard in a nearby mirror.

“they don’t know what they’ve been missing.” you smile at your cheesy comment while sipping on your drink.

“well i’ll be back eventually, it depends on how it goes. i promise not to bring some random lady in the house later tonight.” he makes sure he has everything, his keys, his wallet.

“well good luck, im rooting for you- kind of.” if you’re being honest, you don’t want any woman near this man. in your mind he belongs to you.

“kind of? what’s that mean?” he leans into the conversation- what could you possibly mean?

you move over to jj and pick him up “kind of as in, i don’t someone taking my job. i’m attached to the little guy what can i say?”

john chuckles and bends down to talk to his son. “daddy will be back soon bud- i promise. gimme some” price holds out his fist for a fistbump with jj. after he gets it, he ruffles his hair and gives him a kiss on the head. meanwhile, you can’t stop thinking about price calling himself ‘daddy’

“don’t set the house on fire okay?” he gives you that toothy grin you’re so used to.

“i promise, john.”

[yourlocalartsonist]

Heyooo just another update

Hey yall :D I just felt like letting yall know I’m not dead, I’m still working on chapter 9 but like oh well. I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it by this month sadly but I’m getting closer every day. Currently I think it’s getting near 12K words? I know I passed 11K for sure

Uhhhhh nothing else to really say, just wanted to drop by and say hi ;w; The chapter quality is great, I’m really excited to have this one be viewed by the team. Also I’ll prolly post some art again starting tomorrow if my dumbass remembers to cuz it’s been stacking up again-

So yea teehee I hope y’all are enjoying your day/night/whatever <3 I will see everyone hopefully soon✨✨✨✨

[sol-starr]

Introducing: Jupiter

(Archived from @sol-nebula. Also I think some of the quality bit the dust on this reupload. RIP)

hey guys how is your night going mine is going okay- OH NO *drops fanbot art*

Meet Jupiter :) Look under the cut for more info and art I’ve been working on (hopefully I do this cut thing right lol)

Beholdeth. My fanbot. Jupiter. :) Jupiter uses they/them pronouns, and their instrument of choice is the theremin! It adds a nice ambient sound to songs. Jupiter was created a few months before the weekend war, they were one of the bots made in preparation for the war. However, Peter Walter I always did hope that after the war his bots could live a peaceful life pursing music… and after all the other wars SPG canonically served in, Jupiter was finally able to pick up the theremin. They had played around with it before, but their time with it was cut short due to the need to go to war. (this picture was drawn using a reference that was a real person so it looks a little funky)

These are Peter Walter I’s first sketches of Jupiter teehee (this is actually the first digital drawings of Jupiter I did. I took my sketches I made in class and brought them to digital. I thought it would be cool to make them look like they’re on some old paper PW1 drew on) You can see they have multicolored eyes & some neat goggles. They also wear gloves because their hands got a little messed up in the weekend war. Peter repaired them to the best of his ability. Their wig of choice is long blue with a ponytail. That red shirt they’re wearing is actually a vest, they wear a white button up undershirt that you can’t see due to their long coat.

Here is Jupiter doing one of their favorite things - reading while a thunderstorm goes on outside in Library 22 of the Walter manor. (I totally didn’t make it library 22 to commemorate that I made Jupiter in the year 2022 hahaha)

Bonus - a drawing I did in one of my classes while we were talking about Pokémon of Jupiter feeding a Piplub. Because Piplub is my favorite starter 💙

Feel free to ask me questions about Jupiter or what not. To be quite honest, I feel like as if I’m still forming some aspects of Jupiter’s personality and backstory myself, so maybe some questions can help me figure out what I want to do lol

[leafysharky]

vent post again. sorry giys! but it came with a scribble as per usual huehue

SRSLY WHY IS THIS SO BLURRY and why are my scribble’s quality dropping… smh!!!

rawr!!!! anyway did this in literally like thrirty seconds but idk if anyone will actually see so whatevs teehee! gona.

genuine kinda vent below! (cringe) like trigger warning for stufffshhebdhs! just ignore me im silly :p

srsly!!! this is cringe giys!!! don’t read it!!!! tw!!!!!

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living is really hard right now meow!!! i mean it’s been like this for what like five?? six??? years????? but ever day im closer and closerrr and clooooseerrrr to attempting again. i wish i was normal??? and like productive and worth something!! like i wana be useful but i always ruin everything??? always!!! and now im back 2 venting in the internet as if it’s gona help me!! i am actually just an attention loving maniac who just feels sorry for themself all the time. ugh. whatever that’s what im gonna do bc im an idiot and im not trying to change right now. i wish i was happy but i’ve been like this for so long ??? ik gheres others who feel the same. like im not special!! i wanna be tho ! lolz!! OMG STOPP U CRINGELORD NEVER SPEAK AGAIN 💀💀💀💀💀

[wiltking]

O TEEHEE.. U SAW MY FANART.. I wanted to send u an ask tomorrow since I thought I'd be asleep by now but I'm still awake crying about the books (3am) ssdfg I read it by your recommendation and it's one of the first books I've picked up since trying to get into reading again and several times it made me so scared for it to end bc what if no other series will come close to how it makes me feel sddfgh anyway thank u for recommending it im insane now 🙏

i saw it right before i went to bed and when i tell you my jaw dropped..... my heart stopped my tears popped!! i already love your work so much and seeing you draw the guys!!!! 😭 made my year :')

understandable fear to have btw. even if we set the quality aside what it actually does with its story is so unique theres really no other books i can compare it to. like yeah theres plenty of queer books that i love that are complex in their own ways but rodrigo is wholly in a category of its own u feel me. anyway youre welcome for inflicting this insanity upon ye, it never ends and the pain is eternal :) thank you for giving it a try!!!!

[slytherinsnekxvii]

let's talk about lily evans and the marauders, aka moony, wormtail, padfoot and prongs. given that i didn't use their actual names, i think you can figure out where this is going. it's also long as hell, so. canon vs fanon, marauder edition, except snek is sleep deprived.

now, before we begin, i don't dislike the marauders. or lily, tbh. if I'm being perfectly, genuinely honest, i still go back and forth sometimes but they've been growing on me for a while now. the canon versions, at least. fanon does them real dirty, and that's part of why i'm writing this, because i'm genuinely tired of it. it's an injustice.

you can at least make excuses for james and lily, who were so undeveloped that jkr practically dropped a fill-in-the-blank sheet of character information in our laps, but sirius, remus and peter were around long enough for y'all to get real acquainted with them.

in canon, sirius black is an unhinged mf. genuinely. this isn't to say he's a bad guy, in fact, we see that he's still capable of doing good things, still capable of love, still capable of all the things that prove he's actually not bad at heart, just,,, severely traumatised and very steeped in negativity from his time with the dementors. what i'm saying is that this man is absolutely, no questions asked, no holds barred demented, and how could he not be? the guy sat wrongfully imprisoned in azkaban for twelve years, a good portion of which he spent as a dog in order to protect himself from the dementors. he certainly wasn't completely insane, but you cannot tell me that he was all there. he got out of azkaban fuelled almost solely by the intent to get revenge on pettigrew, tried to commit murder in front of three witnesses who were also children—one of whom was his godson—ate rats and was also malnourished, which i'm certain did not help the situation any. this man is off his goddamn rocker, and you know what? you love to see it. good for him.

oh, but, snek, that's what he's like as an adult. what about when they were at school? before azkaban? my guy, the reaction he has to grimmauld place is not the reaction of someone without trauma. i don't believe that walburga and orion were the type to physically abuse their children, but whatever happened in that house helped to fuck him up enough that he skipped the joke of part of practical joke, and pranked snape by telling him how to meet a werewolf that he knew would be fully transformed and dangerous to humans. more than that, the werewolf was remus, whom he's friends with, and who—best case scenario—would be facing a trial if james hadn't stepped in. you can say that maybe he didn't think about or understand the gravitas of his actions, but at the end of it, that's not how properly sane people react to people they dislike, and that's not how they treat their friends. if anything, it reads like he was in the middle of a breakdown and absolutely losing his shit and he wasn't thinking at all.

my guy went through some serious shit, and was in no way completely mentally stable. we can see pretty clearly that he's got a serious dark side to him that probably would have gone unbridled had he not disagreed with his family, and yet, fanon took one look at him and went, "teehee, uwu bad boi go vroom."

fanon said padfoot is a pretty boy with nice hair who is tastefully traumatised from his horribly abusive household. sirius rides his motorcycle and plays jokes and flirts with anything that moves, but he can do no real wrong and always comes back to his soft, bookish, chocolate-loving boyfriend remus, who will laugh about his lycanthropy and quietly disapprove but secretly laugh at his friends' antics while hiding his smile in his cardigan.

respectfully, what in the absolute fuck.

i'd put that meme in here if i could, the one that's like, "well done, you've broken _______ down to its bare essentials," but no. i can't bc it doesn't even apply. this isn't a meme, it's theseus' fucking ship.

fanon broke it down, and replaced the pieces one by one until we got to this point, where we need to sit down and ask ourselves, "is this even the same character?"

the answer is no, by the way. it isn't. when people talk about woobifying characters—you know, taking away every flaw they have, romanticising everything they do and making them only capable of doing good, wonderful, lovely things?—this is what we mean.

and it'd be one thing if it was just the one character, but, no. fanon went all in and made them all squeaky clean and boring, especially peter, who draws the shortest of the straws.

remus got fucked, too. not just because fanon insists on sticking him into a relationship with sirius. which, we'll tackle wolfstar in a bit, but that's not even the worst of it. here, we have yet another example of blatant, rampant woobifying. again, is he a bad person? no. we know he's a good guy, we know he's generally kind and well-mannered, we know that he wants to fo the right thing but hey, fun fact. did you know that you can be nice and a coward? did you know that you can be benevolent and good and kindly and have the greatest of intentions and still be shady as fuck? no? ask dumbledore. the man played people like chess pieces when he needed to, and he was a twinkly grandpa. these are things that can coexist.

teenage remus is a coward who, understandably, does not stand up to his friends, likely for fear of being ostracised, and doesn't uphold his prefect duties as he should and takes part in their bullying of snape as a result. he lets them romp with him in werewolf form while they are in their animagus forms and then, he lets them continue to do so even after they have multiple close calls, which, again, had anything happened, would have resulted in a trial in the best case scenario.

grownup remus is still a coward, he tells no one that sirius can move about the school in his animagus form despite wholeheartedly believing that he's a mass murderer, he tries to run out on his wife and unborn kid. he isn't deliberately making attempts to harm anyone, but he's content to sit back and let things happen to him and around him so he doesn't rock the boat, although he is capable of action, which we see when he is more than willing to help sirius merk pettigrew in the shack. he can be careless, he runs out to the shack knowing he hasn't taken his wolfsbane and ends up transforming in front of the students he, as a teacher, is meant to be protecting. of course, this doesn't negate his good qualities, it just bears repeating that his flaws do exist, and they're pretty serious.

fanon moony is always pleasant and kind and soft-spoken and bookish, and he always has to have his chocolate. he knows when to tell off his friends, and he'll do it, even if he's secretly amused by everything they do and laughs about it with his best friend, lily evans, who coincidentally spends all her time with them so he and sirius can go on double dates with james and lily and no one has to remember peter exists.

why. theseus' ship 2.0. does the actual character still exist or is this something entirely different thing bearing the same name?

as for peter, who needs peter pettigrew, the actual, legitimate, fourth marauder when you have lily evans? canon pettigrew is opportunistic as fuck. he's latching himself to the biggest bad on the block and he's going all in. for teenage peter, that was james and sirius, and for adult peter, that's voldemort. canon peter is good enough at transfiguration to master the animagus transformation, just like his friends, and he's good enough at potions to brew the potion that gives voldemort a body. and honestly, you can't say he wasn't brave. he could've run off somewhere and died, or changed his identity or something after he faked his death and framed sirius, but, no. he goes and resurrects voldemort. that's fucked up, yeah, but it happened and honestly, i respect that it. he stuck to his guns.

fanon wormtail is lucky if he exists beyond being a spineless sycophant for james and sirius, or an evil conniving little rat who's looking to toss his entire friend group to the wolves at eleven.

of course, this isn't meant to negate his bad qualities, he still murdered people and framed sirius and sold out the potters to die, but his good characteristics do exist, and james, sirius and remus genuinely were his friends.

and now, we get to lily and james.

we have hardly any information on either of them. they're a pair of cardboard cutouts that we can paint and stick flyers to and colour outside the lines however we want. we can do whatever the fuck, as long lily is brave and smart and somewhat kind and james is brave and willing to die for his family. we were essentially handed a pair of ocs.

and yet.

what little bits of canon we have are thrown out of the window regardless.

james is privileged and rich, and he throws hexes for fun. he's willing to hex lily when she disagrees with him, and then, he goes behind her back to continue hexing snape after she believes that he's stopped doing so. and that's all we know about him until he dies for his family at twenty-one years old. once again, say it with me: this does not negate his good qualities. he definitely had them, he took sirius in when sirius ran away from home, he became an animagus to keep remus company as a wolf, and he saved snape in the shack, thereby saving remus and sirius by extension. him having flaws does not make him a bad person.

fanon prongs is a feminist. he fights for equal rights for women everywhere, and he constantly treats his girlfriend, lily, like an absolute queen. he's the hottest boy in school and everyone claps when he walks through the halls. mcgonagall and dumbledore are always patting him on the back and making jokes with him. he has a built-in dark detector that helps him sense when someone is a evil and needs to he punished.

give me a break. the dude's cool and all, but was the gary stu treatment necessary?

...oh, he needed to match fanon lily? right, right.

canon lily is a contradiction unto herself. she's supposedly a great friend, but since we see her at a point where they were already drifting apart, we see her putting little effort into keeping their friendship afloat. she victim blames based on rumours, she doesn't seem to care over much about what snape has to say about the people who have been tormenting him since day one. and she's justified, of course, she doesn't have to stick around. canon lily is a bit of hypocrite, she says that snape calls everyone of her birth mudblood, but then that begs the question why she still hangs around with him if that's the case. he calls her mudblood, she retaliates by calling him snivellus, and finishes up with a dig about his underwear, which, sure, it's kicking a man with a rusty spoon and pouring salt in the wound, but she's, again, justified. i get where she was coming from. and then, of course, she dies for her kid after marrying the guy who relentlessly bullied her quote-unquote best friend for their entire school careers. but, like i said, canon lily is, in many ways, a contradiction.

lily is basically a plot device. she pushes everyone's narrative but her own, and does little else.

of course, this trend would continue in fanon. fanon lily exists to be the perfect girl who gets really angry over the slightest injustice, and of course, she gets to be one half of one of the oldest enemies-to-lovers "it was just sexual tension" cliche pairings in the book. she's just,,, a mary sue. in so many fics, so many headcanons, she's just pettigrew's stand-in, a girl to form a gang with marlene, mary and dorcas—who happen to be more undeveloped ocs who also get the woobify mary sue treatment—to parallel the marauders. there is nothing compelling about her character when she's presented as a saint, and even less when she's supposedly the other moral compass for the marauders that doesn't actually work because she thinks that james is cute.

and this brings me to the next topic. jily. what, why, how. this was supposed to be a healthy, happy relationship that would have lasted in the long run? absolutely not. even for its time, i can't say that i see it lasting.

first of all, jkr presents james' crush on lily as just that: a crush. a mildly obsessive one, but a crush nonetheless, which she tries to liken to the pulling of pigtails. and then, we see that james' way of getting her to go out with him consists of blackmail, and when that doesn't work, he resorts to threatening her. this could have been set aside if he had actually, genuinely changed when they started spending more time together, but as we're told by sirius and remus, he didn't. he just got better at hiding what he was up to. and it has to be that he hid it, because if she knew, this further damages the character that she's set up to have and paints her out to be either unable to stand up to him or an enabler.

regardless, they get married. and while i have trouble believing that it was out of genuine love, there are scenarios that could make some semblance of sense. it's wartime, after all, and maybe lily is worried about her stability in the wizarding world, so why not marry into an established family whose son is already showing interest? or perhaps, she falls into the trap of every bad boy cliche ever, and she thinks to herself, well, i got him to be better then, maybe i can get him to do even better in the future. or maybe, she doesn't get into a relationship with him immediately and sees him on and off, until eventually, she accidentally gets pregnant and they scramble to have a shotgun wedding so as not to leave lily alone at nineteen with a baby. or maybe they marry each other because they're there and sure, neither of then is ready and they don't know what love even is but what else is there to do when there's a dark lord about? anyways, the point is, they get married.

and then what? if we count pottermore into canon, he goes on to further damage her relationship with petunia and vernon, to the point where she ends up crying. if we don't, she fades into the background enough that nobody has anything to say about her. she's harry's mum, she's james' wife, lily potter, she was kind and smart and brave and that's it. her agency is gone, anything else we have of her personality is gone.

jily just,,, wasn't built to last. and, yeah, this,,, this is a hill i'll die on.

same with wolfstar, honestly. there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work, but fanon has made it so fucking prevalent that it's literally everywhere no matter where you look.

first of all, i've said it before and i'll say it again. sirius is more likely to get with james that he is to ever end up in a relationship with remus. their chemistry is just,,, underdeveloped. net zero for a relationship.

secondly, sirius instigated the werewolf prank, and lupin would have paid the price for it. this could have been overlooked, but he doesn't seem the slightest bit guilty about any of it when it's brought up in poa. he could have been responsible for lupin losing the security of his place at hogwarts in the best case scenario, and in the worst case, his life. and he seems to look forward to full moons, even though they clearly aren't pleasant for remus, which,,, yeah, you're going to have fun, but like, maybe be concerned about the fact that your friend undergoes excruciating pain and it isn't a pleasant time for him? read the room, my g.

thirdly, they don't trust each other as much as fanon seems to think they do. they were both willing to believe each other the traitor before ever suspecting pettigrew. sirius thought remus gave away the potters, hell, he thought remus was a spy for voldemort, and remus was convinced that sirius was a mass murderer. neither of them needed to be convinced.

fourthly, maybe i'm reading too much into it, but like. sirius had money. remus had no money, since, yk, he was a werewolf and struggling for cash and still, sirius,,, did not leave him any money. i feel like if you had money to spare, you would give to your friend who is literally poor. but, again, maybe i'm reading too much into it and this isn't as valid a point as i think it is.

and ehh, the fifth reason is that it's,,, actually very much not the representation for the ltgbt community that fanon says it is but y'all aren't ready for that conversation.

anyways, just,,, even when you set the couple shit aside, the power dynamics between everyone here is fucked. like, james and sirius are clearly at the top of food chain calling the shots and egging each other on. then there's lily, who isn't even a marauder, but is always ever-so-slightly above remus but still not on their level, because, well. neither of them actually listen to her. remus is the novelty friend, the friend who's,,, alright, i guess, but you keep them around specifically because they're funny or they can dance or they have something that you can either show off to other people or keep as your little inside joke, your little secret, yk? and peter is just sort of there. like, yeah, he can do what we can but does that make him as good as we are? no. does he have a funny little something about him that we can exploit? nah. therefore he sits at the bottom. and like, yeah, james and sirius are on the same level, but james is yanking sirius' chain, not the other way around. anyways, like i said. power dynamic's fucked and it bothers me that we were given all of this, and fanon decided to take it all and throw it away so they could give us flamboyant!badboi!sirius black x softboi!motherhen!remus lupin going on double dates with feminist!trustfundbaby!james potter and saint!lily evans while ignoring peter pettiwho?

theseus' fucking ship, indeed.

anyways, this needed to be said. it might not make as much sense as i want it to, considering it's 4:12 in the morning as i'm posting this, after taking a break from writing to do some research and coming across way too much content about fanon marauders, but it's here and it still makes enough sense that you can read it and understand what i mean. and like, at the end of the day, you can go ahead and headcanon whatever you please, you can write fic and make art and do whatever you like, just,,, remember that they're exactly that. headcanons. stop presenting fanon as canon. please. i'm literally begging. we actually have evidence against it. just,,, acknowledge that they're headcanons and stop putting them forward as though they're able to fit into canon. please.