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sleep-drunk-kitten · 1 year ago

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pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff, established relationship

content warnings: emotional neglect, some swearing, hoon is kinda a workaholic ig?, I don't think there's anything that really needs warnings other than this is sad but lmk if I miss anything!

summary: your boyfriend comes home late after promising to be home on time for once, only to find that you're nowhere in sight...

notes: this is another one that I'm not sure how to feel about ;-; but I hope you guys enjoy it TwT fun fact, the whole thing was inspired by an rp that I did with an ai where the robot somehow managed to call me by another person's name while cuddling XD

I'm making a general taglist for my fics so if anyone would like to be added please either send an ask or a DM ^w^

Everything below the cut is NOT proofread

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The white noise of your favorite movie buzzes through your living room, conversation and dialogue that you’d learned by heart filling the cold space with a false sense of familiarity. You sit cross-legged with your back pressed into the arm of the L-shaped couch in front of the tv, resting your chin on a plushie held close to your chest, looking not at the flickering screen to your right, but at the clock hanging in your kitchen–the only room in the house with the lights on.

9:17 pm, it reads. Roughly three hours and seventeen minutes since your boyfriend would typically get home from work.

Three hours and seventeen minutes since you’d been waiting on a barstool by the kitchen island where you both usually took your meals.

A tiramisu cake and a bouquet of flowers laid out in front of you.

Waiting.

So much waiting.

After an hour or so, you’d gently slid the cake back into its box, distracting yourself with the task of putting the flowers into a vase before they could wilt.

‘He’s late again,’ you think sleepily, eyes struggling to stay focused on the clock, ’he promised he wouldn’t be tonight.’

Your vision blurs as the long hand hits 12, eyelids too heavy to keep open, mind wandering to the conversation you’d shared with Sunghoon that morning.

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“What time will you be home from work today?” you asked sleepily, sitting up in your nest of blankets, having woken up to find that he was already in the process of pulling his socks on, careful not to wake you.

“I don’t know, Love, you know how crazy things have been with this update, I might be late again,” he said absently, looking around for his glasses. “Where the fuck did I put them?”

He runs a hand through his hair frustratedly, leg bouncing in agitation. It made your heart ache slightly in your chest, disappointment, guilt, and worry mixing confusedly in your stomach.

You loved Sunghoon, more than almost anything else in your life, he was the man you’d chosen as your partner, who you’d decided to stand by through thick and thin. But ever since the game company he worked for had started work on a new update, you’d been seeing less and less of him. Always coming home late, tired and stressed, mind wandering and absent even when he was sitting right in front of you. You understood, you really did. Between the two of you he was the one with the bigger income, the burden of taking care of you, of making sure that the two of you could build a future together, was on his shoulders. And it was a responsibility that he did not take lightly.

But still.

In moments like that, where you slid off your bed to fetch his glasses off the nightstand–blanket wrapped securely round your shoulders to fend off the cold that permeated your apartment since the heating had started to malfunction–moving round the bed to stand in front of him… you couldn’t help but feel like he was breaking your heart. Just a little.

It was in the way he only met your eyes briefly when he took them from you before standing and gathering the rest of his things, sighing in what could’ve been frustration or relief, it was hard to tell.

It was the way he didn’t stop the flow of movement steadily taking him away from you and towards the office till you called his name twice, stopping in his tracks and fixing you with a look that, though probably unintentional, made you want to bury yourself under your mountain of plushies and hide.

“I’m going to be late, (y/n), what is it?”

You winced. You couldn’t help it. Unaccustomed to hearing him say your name with so little emotion. “Just… could you come back on time tonight?” your voice is barely more than a whisper, tapering off into silence the longer you force your eyes to meet his. “Unless you can’t of course! I’m not saying you have to do anything, I understand that you’re busy and you can’t really dictate when or how things get done but just that it would be nice if you could be home on time tonight since-”

“Okay.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll make it home on time tonight.”

His voice was softer than it had been a moment ago, giving you the courage you needed to meet his eyes. They were still heavy with worry, brows drawn together to dig a permanent crease into the middle of his forehead, but they weren’t quite as cold or distant. He was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time in what felt like forever.

It wasn’t much, you knew that. But it was still enough to ease the knot building in your throat. Enough to bring a small smile to your face as you nodded. “Mnm! Okay, I’ll see you tonight then.”

“Mnm, alright,” he said, a small, slightly strained smile coming to rest on his own lips.

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The apartment was almost completely dark when the lock to the front door chimed, alerting the darkness that someone had arrived. The figure that stepped through was slumped over, backpack sliding off one shoulder with his jacket, shoes abandoned haphazardly.

It took a moment for Sunghoon’s mind to catch up to his body, for it to fully sink into his bones that he was home. That he was home and it was nearly 11 pm. Home and the tv and kitchen light were both on, white letters onscreen asking the room if anyone was still watching Netflix.

Something in the kitchen caught his eye, a handmade vase his sister had given you for your birthday set out on the kitchen island, filled to the brim with pink, white, and purple flowers he did not recognise.

’Oh’

It was his birthday.

That’s why you’d asked him to come home on time.

Sunghoon groaned, face twisting with what could only be described as pain as he quickly set his bag down by the front door and made his way to your shared bedroom. You were usually asleep by this time, unable to pull all-nighters the way you used to back when you were in high school, always out like a light by no later than 10:30 every night.

’But she still stays up every night waiting for you,’ a voice in his head hisses.

’I know… fuck I know she does,’ his own voice replies, panic setting in when he finds your room empty, the bed neatly made, not even a dent to show that you’d been laying in it while working on your laptop during the day.

’She’s not here… are you surprised? How long did you expect her to wait?’ the voice whispers, a chill cascading down his spine.

The panic sets in with more vigor, wrapping round his throat and sending his tired mind into overdrive as he checks the bathroom, your home office, and finally the dark living room. Fear telling him that this was it.

He’d really gone and done it now.

He wasn’t a complete fool. He knew the moment you stood in the middle of your bedroom floor instead of closing the distance between you and wrapping your arms around his waist, choosing instead to clutch your favorite duvet like a lifeline, wincing when you heard his voice, all because you wanted to ask him to come home… he knew right then that he’d been an absolute idiot.

He’d meant to come home early, to be there to make it up to you, to apologise properly, tell you that he’d take some time off as soon as the update was done and dusted.

But he didn’t. He let work sweep him up again. Drowning in error messages and buggy code till the sky outside his office windows was filled with the flickering lights of the city at night.

And now… now you weren’t there.

He’d left you alone.

He’d left you alone too long and you were gone.

You were gone.

You were gone and-

’Oh.’

There you were.

The relief when Sunghoon sees you–curled up on the couch, partially hidden by a small pile of blankets and stuffed animals–is immediate.

He doesn’t really register the way he sighs your name, shoulders relaxing, body melting into the floor the moment he’s in front of you, hand brushing a few messy strands of hair out of your face. The need to feel the warmth of your skin, to confirm that you really are there in front of him more an instinct than a conscious decision.

You mumble something in your sleep, tilting your face away from his cold fingertips, eyes fluttering open. “Hoon… hi baby… welcome home,” you say tiredly, shifting under your blankets in an attempt to pull yourself up.

Sunghoon feels his heart crack in his chest. Why were you smiling at him? You should've been angry. You should've pushed him away, demanded to know why he was back so late, why he'd been neglecting you in the first place.

“Baby? My love… why are you crying?” you ask, reaching for him through the haze of sleep still clinging to your limbs.

Choking back a sob, he leans closer, tucking his head under your chin and doing his best to wrap an arm around you from his place on the carpeted floor. “Nothing,” he says, shaking his head, though the tears soaking into your sternum say otherwise, “just missed you…”

Your vision blurs at his words, a thread of steadily building tension and worry that had been constricting your heart for the past few weeks snapping. “Oh…” your voice shakes slightly, lungs shuddering as your breaths begin to feel lighter, “I’m right here you goose, what’re you crying for?”

“Who says I’m crying,” he says, hoarse with tears.

“Right right,” you laugh despite the dampness now soaking through your own cheeks, “because my baby never cries, huh?”

“Never,” he sniffles, nuzzling closer.

You stay like that for a while, eventually urging him to sit more comfortably on the couch, allowing you to settle yourself on his lap, his arms still wrapped firmly round your waist, hands occasionally kneading whatever part of you he was in contact with as if he needed to assure himself that you were there, solid and real.

He waits until he feels your heartbeat slow to a steady rhythm, trying his best to calm down so his own can match yours, beat for beat. The way it–in his opinion–should.

But it wouldn’t, there were words lodged in his throat, and every time he tried to get them out he felt that same panic wash over him, sending his heart into a frenzy.

You could feel like beating against your cheek, could sense that there was something he wasn’t saying from the way his grip on you would tighten almost imperceptibly, stiffening as if he was bracing himself for something. A part of you wanted to push him, prompt him and ask what was going through his head, why you’d woken up to the sight of him crying in the dim light of your living room. And you would’ve if he hadn’t beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, (y/n).”

“What do you mean? For being late? I know you can’t help it, Hoon, it’s not some-”

“No! I mean yes, I’m sorry for being late tonight but… I mean… I mean for everything… for not being… here, with you, like this… as often as I should be, I’m sorry,” he says, the hands at your sides nervously fidgeting with the fabric at your hips, nervously looking between your face and the static tv screen behind you.

Sunghoon had never been good with words. You’d learned early on in your relationship that he preferred to show how he felt through his actions. Yet here he was, fumbling through an apology because… because…

“My love… did you think I’d left?” you ask, gently cupping his face with one hand, urging him to look at you.

Puffy red eyes still wet with tears, messy unkempt hair from running his hands through it all day, tired and probably as emotionally spent as you’d ever seen him and still… still he was the most beautiful person in the world to you. He nodded, hiding his face in your chest again, hands stilling.

“Well,” you sigh, resting your chin on top of his head and running a hand through the hair at the back of his head, combing through it in a way he swears only you can, “at least you know you’ve got things you need to make up for…”

“I know… I forgot for a while… but I know…”

“That’s okay then,” you breathe, leaning back to kiss his forehead. “But Sunghoon… baby… darling… the love of my life… my little pookie bear… “ you both giggle a little at the pet names, “You know I’d never leave you over something like this right? I was sad, and hurt, and I still expect you to make it up to me by never doing this again but… I still love you, it only hurts because I love you… I’m not going anywhere.”

Sunghoon pauses for a moment, letting your words sink in. You think that when he looks up, lips slightly parted, it’s to say something in response, but you really should’ve known better.

Slowly, giving you enough time to pull away should you choose to, his breath mingling with yours before he steals it away with a soft, lingering kiss. Neither of you is in any rush to take things further.

It feels like a small eternity before he pulls away, like time stills for you both, but then he’s pressing his lips to your jaw, butterfly kisses tickling you down to your pulse point, making you giggle so you almost miss it when he says, “I love you too… so much…”

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It isn’t until the next day when you’re shuffling into your home office dressed in one of his oversized jerseys, complaining about a meeting that he remembers the flowers he’d seen on the kitchen island.

Pulling out his phone, he makes good use of his detective skills (and google lens), remembering all the times you’d spoken to him about the language of flowers, and the meanings behind certain blooms.

He wasn’t quite sure whether to laugh or cry once he’d figured it out, opting to dig through the cabinets for a pack of waffle mix to fix you some breakfast instead. He had a lot of apologies to make…

Baby’s Breath: pure everlasting love

Pink Camellias: longing for you

Forget-me-nots: true love memories, do not forget me

#kiki writes things ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡#sunghoon #park sunghoon #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen #enhypen x reader #sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon x you #fluff #enhypen fluff #angst #enhypen angst #cw: swearing #cw: neglect

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pranabefall · 2 months ago

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⠀⠀THE BIRD HUNTER'S SONG.⠀jing yuan.

⠀masterlist ( ongoing , jy x reader ) mature.

synopsis. you've always been hungry for a gentler touch ; the kind of hunger that fetters into you with an insatiable grasp. jing yuan knows this well and holds you close in his hand ( a bird in his palm ).

tags. MINORS DNI. slight yandere elements + smut, hybrids au, lion hybrid jing yuan x bird hybrid reader, reader has female parts but is referred to neutrally for the most part, reader is very scrappy and has a history of biting, dehumanization and past mistreatment of hybrids ( for both yuan and the reader ), jing yuan is slightly pushy and manipulative to say the least, forced preening and grooming, some allusions to intimate cannibalism ( i have been around a certain group of friends too long ), slight self destructing coping strategies, unprotected sex, tail grabbing ( reader receiving ), cunnilingus all the good stuff lol.

notes. brainrot started with @/rabbbitseason's lion jing yuan art here. hi bitti if you read this yes it's me here's the promised fic istg XD. this work was suppossed to be a oneshot but then the intro part veered into 10k and i realized i need to split this fic up so uh...tada XD. huge shoutout and thanks to @sleepynoons and @silentmoths for being my lovely beta readers!!! the name and chapter titles of this fic are taken from the poem 'the bird hunter's song' by kazi nazrul islam.

main masterlist ノ archive of our own ノ series tag.

⚠︎ . chapters marked with a !! contain mature content. please note that each chapter will contain it's set of warnings. reader's are advised to read the tags provided and click away if certain topics present are potentially upsetting to read. while this fic is not my darkest work, you are still responsible for your own consumption.

CHAPTER ONE , is it in fear. you move into a new house, a new place, a new home. but the old occupant and his sleepy eyed hunger, rattles you more than you'd care to admit.

word count. 11k pub. 20/05/25

CHAPTER TWO , is it in diffidence. jing yuan takes you out with him. there's a whole world out there, most of it shut away behind fleeting glimpses when you were young ( and you think it's rotten work ). !!

word count. in progress pub. tbd

CHAPTER THREE , is it in tenderness. there's no place in a house for broken things. you piece yourself back together and try to blend in. jing yuan, perhaps, is the kindest thing that's happened to you. !!

word count. in progress pub. tbd

#📼 — entries.#jing yuan x reader #jing yuan #x reader #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail #star rail #jingyuan #hsr #tw. dubcon #tw. yandere #tw. m/dni #📌 . verse ; the bird hunter's song.

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dragonsoulage · 9 months ago

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The sweetest treat of all...you

feat. L Lawliet

What better way could exist then to get himself focused again, then to have the sweetest treat of all to himself? His sweet maid that was devine in every way.

Hello together, in this short story you are a maid from L. And well idk for some reason I just really craved something like this xD so I hope you enjoy, this is btw my first kinda smutty thing I wrote so here we are ☠️ and I suck in proof reading lol.

MDNI

Warnings: It's smut, oral sex (f recieving), squirting, fingering

Wordcount: 2,2k

You never thought you would end up right here now when you were employed as a personal maid to the one and only L. You were indeed absolutely fitting, a good maid, kept everything clean, and you were just seen when necessary. You worked quickly and efficiently. Even when you weren't a part of the task force—that way, everyone adored you. It was nearly like you knew what everyone needed. Always doing your work with such determination and devotion. You always put up with L's quirks. Like serving everything he needed, you learned how he liked it. Leanred how he functioned. You never knew why, though, but you did what would help him to solve the case. Serving tea at the perfect temperature. Bringing the cake, he probably would like the most right in this moment. Although you sometimes even worried a little since he worked nonstop.

But oh little did you know a way to unwind would be him nose deep inside your cute pussy.

You were on the couch, his slender fingers grabbing your thighs, spread out for him. After all, you were his personal maid; you were there to fulfill his every need, right? You were already squirming, and your hands tugged gently on his fluffy raven hair as he shamelessly wiped his tongue over your pussy. "So sweet..." You heard him mumble before he drove right back in. And this went on...for like forever. You already had like your 3rd orgasm. But the detective had other plans. For some reason, he developed a liking for you. Indeed, he was really aware of that and tried to observe what was happening to him when he saw you. Or simply, when he got a whiff of your perfume because you stood next to him, he always turned his head to look at your adorable face.

Although it was so not for him to just get attached to someone, he got attached to you. You have done your job for a while now. Always so good and responsible. He never complained about you. He felt urges. He usually never felt at all. Like the feeling he wanted to taste you. Since men in his surroundings spoke about eating out pussy and how sweet it would taste. L liked sweet treats; they helped him to concentrate.

And you, for sure, were adorable. So right the moment when you had served some cake, L turned around to you. "I would like to have another treat. Something that would help stimulate my brain a little more." He said to you in his monotone voice, looking at you with his dark eyes crouched in his chair. You smiled before you went through the options—what would be the best now, but he interrupted you.

L wasn't the social butterfly, so instead of beating around the bush, he was straight forward. "No cake indeed, and no candy. I would like to have you." His thumb was on his lower lip as always when he was thinking. He tilted his head slightly, watching your reaction. You were frozen for a second and then simply blinked at him. "W-what do you mean?" You asked, and your cheeks flushed with that cute pink shade. He fell for you even when L was so composed. The detecitve cleared his throat then. You had been a lot on his mind lately, and he couldn't afford distractions—the only way to not be distracted would be when he finally would satisfy a certain craving. "Please tell me when this is uncomfortable. I am simply not used to ask for things like that. And I will be perfectly fine when you say no. So don't hesitate or be afraid...to even say no." It was cute in his little weird way. Wanting to have you comfortable even when he did not know at all how he should ask about the fact he wanted his tongue deep inside your pussy.

"I... am listening, so please go on." You said you wiped your hands on your apron. You tried to gain back composure. "When you let me, I would like to taste your pussy." He finally said to you.

And then... God, you didn't even remember how you ended up shaking on the couch. You agreed yes, but he already got 3 orgasms out of you; you were only able to remember your own name. Your cute maid dress was raised up to your waist. Panties pulled down somewhere on the ground. His tongue lapping at your hot slit. Savoring every drop and taste that he could get from your pussy. And you, well, you were the best sweet treat he ever had. Better than any chocolate cake could be. He crouched in front of you on the floor. Just holding your thighs open, that sometimes tried to close because you were so overstimulated. And these cute little noises—he loved to simply listen to you.

"L...I can't take more." You whined your eyes shut close when you felt his tongue flicking over your poor clit. Your pussy is just so responsive to his touches; all his attention is now laid on you. A rare thing for the detective. "But I barley got a taste...besides that." The pale man between your legs spoke muffled against your soaping wet folds. Before his dark eyes looked up, trying to see your expression. "You look gorgeous when you cum. When I wouldn't be needed in other things, I probably would eat you out all day." He told you, and you got him hooked. Your pussy is sweeter than honey; his own personal meal only he could enjoy. His sweet maid being spread out for him, with that heaven between your legs. When he knew pussy eating would be such a thing for him, he would have done that sooner. Your back arched off again when he nibbled on your clit, your hands tugging on his hair, and he groaned when you pulled his head closer—so much to the fact you said you couldn't take any more. Your juices were running down his chin, and his tongue was plunging deep, wiggling its way inside. God, every time you tried to close your thighs as if you wanted to crush his head between your legs. Although he wouldn't mind that at all. But he kept your thighs wide open for better acces.

"Fuck, going to cum again when you don't stop...L...I am shaking." You moaned, barley, able to breathe properly. Before he simply pulled you closer on your hips, sucking your clit between his now glossy lips. "So damn devine..." He murmured while watching how your lips shaped in a pretty 'oh' because of his ministrations. And then you came again, hard and shaking, but not quiet the result he wanted. He wanted you to let go, to simply gush out on his face, and to cum. Just so he could slurp up your sweet juices. His face slowly faded away from your folds, looking at them and how damn sloppy he ate you out.

Before he lifted his head and L's thumb, smearing the combined juices along your cunt, you shuddered. "You can give me more, right?" He asked, his voice laced with a desire you never thought you would hear. You were so overstimulated that you shook your head, although secretly you wanted him to keep going. He lifted an eyebrow, and his lips formed a smirk before he wiped your juices off with his sleeve. "No? But I read about the fact that women can be brought to multiple orgasms until they simply burst. Kinda want to put that theory to the test, pretty maid." Usually, L wasn't one for nicknames, but after seeing how it affected you in moaning louder, he knew what he needed to say.

Curiously, he looked down at your bare cunt again. "Are you really going to try to make me squirt?" You asked just looking at him with these cum drunken doe eyes. So pretty. Alone every time you quivered, when his thumb circled your clit in slow circles, it made you clench around nothing. You squirmed nearly as if you wanted to run away. His arm held you still. "When this means I get a good taste of you again, then yes, I want to make you squirt." L meant before his slender fingers touched along your slit. His fingers are kind of long; probably they would reach that point that would make you a sobbing, sweet mess. All this just to satisfy his cravings. "I never did that before; probably it isn't going to work either." You wanted to explain, in your little shy and cute way, why you couldn't. But your pussy was already pulsating and dripping with need. But then two fingers interrupted you when they entered. Your pretty pussy clenching around them.

He worked his tongue on you. Two digits stretched you deliciously. His long and slender fingers had you gasping. And He watched closley how you reacted. So eager and so focused to make you squirt just so he could get all the candied nectar for himself. "So about that special spot, sweet girl." He started giving your swollen clit a short kiss before his lips were replaced with his thumb, which drew out some pressure on your bud. "I still need to locate it; make you all the more sensetive." L told you, and he tilted his wrist a little, and then, oh, he crooked his fingers. Your eyes widen with shock and bliss, your jaw hanging open before you wanted to throw back your head. "Think I found it." You could listen to the satisfied hum in his voice. And it had you moaning even louder, your chest heaving. Your pussy is so sloppy and wet. Squelching all around his fingers. "Fuck...oh God, fuck." Was all you could say. You looked away simply because you were so shy and literally were cumming on the hand and mouth from the world's best detective.

Until you felt another hand on your face, your chin, he gently grabbed as he averted to him. Besides the fact that L was aroused himself; he wanted you to come undone; it would be turning him on more than he said out loud. L wanted your eyes on him because it was just so cute how shy your face flushed. "Eyes on me, little maid. It increases the level of arousal by about 90 percent." He told you, his own erection straining against his pants. Your droopy eyes tried to look at him; oh, you struggled so adorable. While his fingers were pumping inside you, stroking that gummy part of you that made you see stars as you whimpered.

L found himself quiet fond of the way your striking eyes looked at him, your cheeks flushed and your chest heaving. Your plump lips parted. Before he lowered his head again, his tongue lapping out to flick over your poor swollen bud. His eyes still looking through his messy black hair watching you squirm and buck up your hips. You were so close, he could tell it. His movements with his fingers are simply growing to be more precise. So much so that you tried to take his hand from you, but he kept his fingers hooked inside your pussy. "It feels weird; I... am not going to last." You breathed out thighs shaking already, but he then sucked on your clit. "It's normal you feel that way. It is said that female orgasm can be quite powerful when stimulated in the right way. Just so much, you have the feeling you would burst." The usual so composed detective explains while still being busy with your pussy. "Come on, sweet maid, give me what I crave." L urged you, and oh, as on command, your orgasm rolled over you. Legs shaking and breath hitching. Your back arched off the couch. Your sweet juices gushing out slightly onto his face as he slurped up the syrupy juices from your cunt, indeed lapping up in every corner. You were devine, a treat he never would want to pass. His fingers allowed the pace to slow down before he slid them out. "Such a sweet girl." L murmured while he still kissed your spent pussy, still getting every last drop of you; nothing would go to waste. Finally, he had what he craved—the taste he yearned for so badly—this distraction was gone.

But as you watched him between your thighs, you weren't unaware of this immense bulge. Now L had another problem that would need to be satisfied by his cute maid. "Well, now it's your turn." You said and tilted your head. L caught a little off guard, as he was feeling the pulsing need in his loins. He sat there and analyzed you. But before he could say anything clever, you were a little faster. Maneuvered you two so you were now straddling his lap, grabbing his hands to lay them on your hips, when you started to ground slowly and sensually over his boner, still tugged away in his pants. "I heard that it increases the level of arousal by about 95 percent." You chuckled watching how he simply looked up at you, and there...a small whimper left his lips. "And 100 percent when I take your dick inside me." You were always a shy one, but right now, after you saw how greedy L was for your pussy, you got a moment of confidence. Wanting to make the analytical boy panting...

#anime #fanfiction #fanfic #anime and manga #new blog #anime x reader #death note #death note x reader #l lawliet #l lawliet x reader #l x reader #l lawliet x you #l lawlight #l lawliet fanfiction #anime imagines #death note fanfiction #l lawliet fluff #anime fluff #death note fluff

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imaginehappyhavoc · 10 months ago

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EuImagine the boys' reaction when you (female reader) have dark humor for jokes XD.

F I would really like all the boys, especially Chihiro!

Pairing: thh boys x reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: Dark humor and everything that comes with it (Death, violence, self deprecation, etc.)

Makoto Naegi:

♡ Honestly just. So startled.

♡ The first time you made a joke like that, he jolted in his seat, and turned to look at you with the widest eyes.

♡ It catches him so off guard every time. He has no idea what to do.

♡ Does he laugh? Did he think it was funny? He has no clue.

♡ He usually just ends up freezing, which only makes you laugh harder. The look on his face is priceless.

Byakuya Togami (platonic):

♡ He’ll never admit it, but he thinks you’re hilarious.

♡ Every time you make a joke about a tragic event in history, you can see him purse his lips as he tries so hard not to laugh.

♡ This inevitably leads to teasing on your end. “C’mon, you’re smiling! You think it’s funny!”

♡ He just rolls his eyes and keeps reading whatever lame ass book he’s got this time.

♡ Later though, when he’s alone in his dorm, he’ll think back to your jokes, and let himself have a laugh.

Yasuhiro Hagakure:

♡ His jaw drops. Doesn’t matter how many times you do it, he’s shocked at your audacity.

♡ He thinks your jokes are funny, but it takes him a solid fifteen seconds to get over the surprise before he laughs.

♡ You two just stare at each other, his eyes wide as you wait eagerly for his response.

♡ Eventually, he gives a little “snrk” and starts giggling.

♡ His reaction is every bit worth the wait, in your opinion.

Leon Kuwata:

♡ This man is wheezing; he thinks you’re so funny.

♡ The most fun is when he’s eating or drinking, cause he’ll choke up and start laughing in the middle of it every time.

♡ He’ll always say something along the lines of “Baby, you can’t just say stuff like that!”

♡ But he’ll be the first to admit the joke was funny.

Chihiro Fujisaki:

♡ Oh they hate it. Especially if you like to make self deprecating jokes.

♡ They’ll whip around to look at you. Then, very slowly, their eyes start misting up with tears.

♡ They’re chronically compassionate. They just can’t stand it when you talk about yourself like that!

♡ They’ll say, in the most pitiful voice imaginable: “Please don’t… don’t sa-say that…”

♡ This turns into you giving them the righted hug, and reassuring them that you didn’t mean it.

Mondo Owada:

♡ He loves dark humor! He makes jokes like that all the time.

♡ Needless to say, he thinks you’re the funniest girl on the planet.

♡ His friends will tease him about laughing at every joke you make, but he doesn’t care. A funny joke is a funny joke.

♡ All this hinges on whether or not you’re talking about yourself or not.

♡ God forbid you make a joke about harming yourself. He’ll turn around and give you the biggest earful of your life.

Kiyotaka Ishimaru:

♡ He thinks it’s hilarious, and he hates it.

♡ Every time you make a dark joke, he’ll give a single, barking laugh before slapping his hand over his mouth.

♡ He knows he shouldn’t think it’s funny, but give him a break! He’s been through a lot.

♡ It takes him a little bit to laugh openly at your jokes. He doesn’t quite understand the whole “coping with humor” thing.

♡ He’ll get there eventually. Be patient.

Hifumi Yamada (platonic):

♡ Hifumi, surprisingly, doesn’t even bat an eye before he starts laughing.

♡ He knows his audience well, and sometimes includes humor akin to yours in his stories.

♡ Sometimes, to be funny, he’ll pretend to clutch his pearls in horror.

♡ After he’s got most of the giggles out, he’ll say something like “You know, if you keep saying things like that, you’re going to get punched one day.”

♡ He knows that doesn’t bother you a bit. It would be so worth it.

143 notes · View notes

magic-shop-stories · 2 months ago

Note

You are amazing, I just love your writing so much, especially BTS Dad scenarios. I am addicted! So I wanted to ask if you could write some headcanons or short imagine of the BTS members having a child, their gender is up to you, that wants to race. Like they love F1 and racing in general and want to do it as well. I cannot get this out of my head and would die to read something like this. Preferably with Yoongi of Jungkook, but I leave that up to you. I hope that's not to weird, if so just ignore me but thanks in advance.

💌 Reply:

OH MY GOD THIS REQUEST MADE ME SQUEAL LIKE A 10-YEAR-OLD AT THEIR FIRST F1 RACE!!!! 🏎️ (Which, fun fact, was me. I had a Vettel poster on my wall and everything...) THANK YOU FOR THIS MASTERPIECE OF A PROMPT!!! I loved writing these headcanons and may have fallen into a 3-hour rabbit hole about Asian F4 teams? ADHD isn't a joke xD If you want a full imagine, my DMs are WIDE OPEN. 🏁 I hope it's what you wanted, if not - let me know. – c – 💜 ohh and THANK YOU P.S. tumblr decided to crumble every time I tried to add pics, and my migraine is currently killing me, so please forgive me for the missing pics...

BTS as Racing Dads Headcanons

Pairings: OT7 x Child!Reader (Parent/Child Dynamics) Rating: PG (K+) Genre: family fluff, sports drama, hurt/comfort Warnings: none

KIM NAMJOON (RM)

CHILD

Name: Soo-Yeon (she/her)

Team: Prema Racing (F4 → F3 → F2), Possible Future: Red Bull Junior Team (Engineering-Focused Development Route)

[note: she’ll probably be the only driver who sends Prema engineers correction emails with footnotes]

Personality:

cerebral introvert

quiet obsession for motorsport engineering

not drawn to the glamour of racing but to the physics of it

= fluid dynamics, tire compounds, energy recovery systems

bedroom walls plastered with diagrams of F1 aerodynamics

scribbles differential equations on her homework

HOW IT BEGINS

at age 12

she stumbles upon a documentary about Adrian Newey

becomes fixated

builds miniature wind tunnels out of cardboard and obsessively testing toy car designs

Namjoon finds her at 2 a.m.

= adjusting the angle of a paper rear wing with surgical precision

First Conversation

“Appa, did you know downforce is just controlled air resistance? It’s… math in motion.”

he blinks

coffee forgotten

“You… built this?”

kneels beside her

studying her makeshift lab

“Explain it to me. Slowly.”

NAMJOON’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Pride

“She’s a genius. A literal genius.”

Worry

“Racing is dangerous. What if she gets hurt? What if the world exploits her mind?”

Guilt

“Did I push her into overthinking? Is this my fault?”

What He Says

Day 1:

“Let’s start with the basics. What’s your favorite part? The engineering or the speed?”

Week 2:

“I found a junior karting team with a good engineer. Interested?”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

education first

enrolls her in STEM camps

tho lets her skip lectures to shadow a Hyundai N mechanic

“Experience is the best teacher.”

karting phase

buys a used kart

insists she designs the modifications herself

“You want to race? Build it first.”

they spend nights in the garage

her hands greasy, his glasses smudged

safety obsession

researches FIA safety protocols

gifts her a custom HANS device for her 15th birthday (Head and Neck Support device)

“Your brain is your greatest asset. Protect it.”

CONFLICTS

First Crash

she flips her kart during a test run

he sprints to the track

panic clawing his throat

finds her already out, scribbling notes on a clipboard

“The roll cage held! My calculations were right!”

His Response

Outward Calm

“Good. Now let’s improve the chassis.”

Inward Meltdown

calls Yoongi at 3 a.m

“Hyung, what if I’m failing her, what if she gets hurt?”

LEAP TO F4

at 15/16

recruited by a Formula 4 team

he negotiates her contract

adding clauses for academic continuity

“You’ll finish school. And change the game.”

Proudest Moment

watching her explain energy recovery systems to engineers twice her age

“That’s my kid...”

Quote to Her

“You’re not just a driver. You’re a visionary. Make them see it too.”

KIM SEOKJIN (JIN)

CHILD

Name: Ha-Eun (she/her)

Team: Kart Republic → Iron Dames (F4/F3), Possible Future: Ferrari Driver Academy (if she pushes herself hard)

Personality

bubbly, competitive extrovert

lives for the thrill of the race and the cheers of the crowd

she’s less about the mechanics

more about the drama

customizing her kart with glitter sticker

naming it “Pink Lightning”

trash-talking Jin (and the rest of Bangtan) during backyard races

her dream?

= be the first (female) F1 driver with a themed victory dance

HOW IT BEGINS

during a family outing at an amusement park

she drags Jin to the go-kart track

overtakes him on the final lap

“BYE, APPA!”

staff hands her a plastic trophy

“I’m gonna be a racing queen.”

First Conversation

Ha-Eun: “Appa, I’m faster than your dad jokes!” Jin: “Yah! That’s Worldwide Handsome’s kart you’re insulting!”

fake-pouts, then grins

“But fine. Let’s see if you can handle real competition.”

JIN’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Pride

“She’s a star. A sparkly, chaotic star.”

Panic

“What if she flips the kart? What if someone breathes on her wrong?”

Excitement

“Finally, a worthy rival for my Singin’ in the Rain karaoke crown.”

What He Says

Day 1:

“Okay, champ. Rule #1: Always let your Appa win. Rule #2: Never follow Rule #1.”

Week 2:

“I booked us matching racing suits. Yours has glitter. Mine has my face.”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

themed training

turns practice into “Jin/ Ha-Eun Grand Prix” events

cones become “dinosaur obstacles”

pit stops involve juice boxes and dad-joke riddles

“What’s a race car’s favorite snack? Vroom-sticks!”

safety first (but make it fashion)

buys her a neon pink helmet with “PRINCESS OF SPEED” on the side

“Safety’s boring unless it’s fabulous.”

secretly researches the safest tracks

social media hype

posts slow-mo videos of her wins set to “I’m the Best” by 2NE1

caption: “Future F1 CEO. (P.S. I taught her everything.)”

CONFLICTS

First Loss

she loses a local race by 0.5 seconds

throws her gloves

yelling

“I HATE KARTING!”

Jin’s Response

outward calm

“Okay, let’s hate together. Dramatic sigh I hate… broccoli. And slow Wi-Fi.”

inward angst

texts Yoongi

“How do I fix a broken heart? Asking for a tiny dictator.”

solution

hosts a “Losers’ Party” with pizza, disco lights, and a dance-off

“Win the next race, and we’ll crash a real F1 party. Deal?”

LEAP TO COMPETITIVE KARTING

at 11

she joins a regional league

he becomes her hype man

waving a custom banners

“HA-EUN: FASTEST & PRETTIEST.”

Proudest Moment

watching her podium speech

“Thanks to my Appa, who’s almost as cool as my kart.”

he fake-sobs into the mic

“She’s lying! I’m cooler!”

Quote to Her

“Remember: If you’re not first, you’re… still my favorite. But always try to be first.”

note: definiteley plays EA F1 with her, or the sim but NEVER wins

MIN YOONGI (SUGA)

CHILD

Name: Yumi (she/her)

Team: Hitech GP or ART Grand Prix, Possible Future: Alpine Academy (quiet prodigy path)

[note: pit engineers start whispering, “She sees lines we don’t” after analyzing her onboard footage]

Personality

fierce, stubborn introvert with a gasoline-and-metal soul

she’s tactical

calculating lap times in her head during dinner

thrives under pressure

her idea of small talk?

“Appa, do you think Verstappen’s tire strategy in Singapore ’23 was reckless?”

HOW IT BEGINS

at 10 (after years of building Carrera tracks, and decorating her walls with team posters)

she discovers an old racing sim in Yoongi’s studio

he’d bought it years ago (probably for a one time try)

she sneaks in

cracks the top 10 global leaderboard under the username “SHADOWSPEED”

Yoongi finds her asleep at the rig

hands still gripping the controller

First Conversation

“…You did this?”

gestures to the screen where her lap record glows

Yumi: “It’s not hard. Just physics.” Yoongi: “Wear these. The engine sounds are better.”

silently hands her his noise-canceling headphones

YOONGI’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Pride

“She’s a goddamn prodigy.”

Terror

flashbacks of his own accident

= rain-slick roads, injured shoulder, the smell of burnt rubber

“What if she…?”

Resolve

“If she’s gonna do this, I’ll make sure she’s safe. Even if it kills me.”

What He Says

Day 1:

“You want to race? Fine. But you learn to fix the engine first.”

Week 2

slaps a fireproof racing suit on the kitchen table

“Try it on. Before you argue.”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

karting phase

buys a secondhand kart

spends months reinforcing the chassis himself (with her)

“Safety isn’t optional. Ever.”

F4 debut

pulls all strings to get her a spot on a team

insists on meeting every engineer

“The car’s data system is shit. Upgrade it or I walk.”

rainy day ritual

texts her a single emoji before wet races: 🌧️

code for “Don’t be a hero. Just come home.”

CONFLICTS

Crash

she spins out during a monsoon-like F3 qualifier

Yoongi watches from the pit wall

jaw clenched so tight he almost cracks a molar

when she limps back, he barks

“You’re done.”

Her Rebellion

Yumi: “You don’t get it! This is my life!” Yoongi: “I do get it. I’ve..”

slams his fist on the table

voice shaking

rolls up his sleeve

shows the surgery scar on hie shoulder

“This is what ‘life’ looks like when it goes wrong.”

Resolution

they don’t speak for days

Yoongi appears at her door with a helmet

modified with extra impact padding

“Race smart. Or I’ll sell the sim.”

SUZUKA GIFT

her 14th birthday

he tosses her an envelope

inside, two VIP passes to the Japanese Grand Prix

“Pack your bags. And… bring a notebook. Take notes on the real pros.”

At Suzuka

she vibrates with excitement

scribbling notes on tire temps and apex speeds

Yoongi is silent

grips her hand during the start

“If you ever…”

he stops

clears his throat

“Just watch, yeah?”

that night, he admits it over ramen

“I hate this. But I'd hate seeing you not do it more.”

ONGOING SUPPORT

custom safety gear

commissions a fireproof suit

her name stitched inside

“For luck. Don’t tell the team.”

post-race ritual

plays her a lullaby-like piano track he composed

“Checkered Flag Lullaby”

it calms her adrenaline

legacy

secretly funds a junior racing scholarship in her name

“So the next kid doesn’t need a scared shitless dad to make it.”

JUNG HOSEOK (J-HOPE)

CHILD

Name: Min-Jae (he/him)

Team: Williams Racing Young Design Talent → Karting Support Team Livery Artist → Mercedes Junior Creative Division, Possible Future: Lead Livery Director for Mercedes or independent design phenom running his own F1 visual branding agency

Personality

bubbly, hyper-creative whirlwind with a neon imagination

hands are perpetually stained with marker ink

tarted sketching liveries at 5

he talks a mile a minute about "making cars dance with colors!"

he names his designs things like “Rainbow Rocket” and “Glitter Shark”

HOW IT BEGINS

at 5

Min-Jae scribbles a chaotic, crayon masterpiece on the living room wall

= a race car with rainbow flames and polka-dot wheels

J-Hope, mid-dance practice, freezes

“Yah! Is that… a car?”

he beams

“Appa, it’s faster than your moves!”

First Conversation

“Explain this. Now.”

trying to sound stern but failing miserably

Min-Jae: “The polka dots are speed bubbles! And the rainbow is for when it flies!” J-Hope: “…You’re a genius. But never draw on walls again. Here, use this.”

hands him a F1 sketchbook

J-HOPE’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Pride

“My kid’s a creative monster! Look at those colors!”

Panic

“How do I nurture this without our house turning into a graffiti warzone?”

Excitement

“We’re gonna collab. Father-son design duo. Let’s go!”

What He Says

Day 1:

“Min-Jae-ya, let’s make a rule: Paper only. Unless it’s Appa’s dance shoes... those need glitter.”

Week 2:

“... gonna teach you about balance. No, not math... color balance! It’s like choreography for your eyes!”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

art studio overhaul

converts the guest room into “Min-Jae’s Mad Lab”

= walls covered in whiteboard paint

shelves stocked with every art supply known to humankind

J-Hope hangs a sign: “Caution: Genius at Work.”

field trips

takes him to the Seoul Auto Show

letting him interrogate designers

“Why is that car boring? It needs fangs!”

J-Hope translates

“He’s asking about… aerodynamic expression!”

matching kits

designs father-son overalls with “Team Hope-Jae” logos

Min-Jae adds doodles to J-Hope’s pair

= a tiny ARMY bomb with wings

CONFLICTS

Meltdown

Min-Jae throws a marker at a failed design

“It’s ugly! I hate it!”

J-Hope swoops in

spinning him in a chair

His Response

tough love

“Yah! Markers are for art, not tantrums.”

encouragement

“Remember when Appa fell during ‘Dope’? I ate the stage! You gotta own the mess!”

collaboration

they “trash” the design together

splattering paint everywhere

the result?

livery titled “Chaos Victory”

LEAP TO KARTING

at 9/10

local karting team asks Min-Jae to design their livery

J-Hope films the entire process for VLOG content

crying behind the camera

“That’s my son! Look at him glow!”

Proudest Moment

watching Min-Jae present his design

= a tiger-striped kart with holographic accents

team owner whispers

“He’s… ten?”

J-Hope grins

“Nine next week. Discount rate.”

Quote to Him

“You’re not just an artist. You’re joy on wheels. Make the world dance with you!”

PARK JIMIN

CHILD/TWINS

Names: Min-Jae (son) & Hae-Won (daughter)

Personalities

Min-Jae

Team: Red Bull Racing - Young Driver Programme, Possible Future: Red Bull Racing (F1) or AlphaTauri as his launchpad

[note: already has a penalty record in karting]

hot-headed

bold

fiercely competitive

drives for Red Bull Racing - Young Driver Programme

idolizes Max Verstappen’s aggression

wore his racing gloves during dinner when he was younger

Hae-Won

Team: McLaren - Young Driver Programme, Possible Future: McLaren F1 Team or Aston Martin (Talent-Precision Hybrid Route)

analytical

ice-cool under pressure

races for McLaren - Young Driver Programme

worships Lando Norris

keeps a race logbook titled “Emotion is Drag."

Dynamic

sibling rivalry on steroids

they debate tire strategies over breakfast

bet allowance money on lap times

refuse to carpool to the track

HOW IT BEGINS

at 4

they’re given toy karts for Christmas (Jungkooks gift)

Jimin films them racing around the living room

giggling as they crash into the couch

by 12, they’re dominating local karting leagues

Min-Jae wins by sheer grit

Hae-Won by calculating apex speeds

First Rivalry Flashpoint

during a regional final

Hae-Won blocks Min-Jae on the last lap

he retaliates, spinning her out

Jimin, watching in horror, sprints to the track

Jimin’s Reaction

outward:

forces them to shake hands

“You’re teammates first. Always.”

inward:

cries in the bathroom

texting Namjoon

“Hyung, what if I’m ruining them?”

JIMIN’S DAD MODE

Support System

dual team gear

wears a Red Bull cap and McLaren jacket to races

“I’m Switzerland. Neutral but fabulous.”

pre-race rituals

braids Hae-Won’s hair

for “aerodynamics”

tightens Min-Jae’s helmet strap

“Breathe. Think. Don’t murder each other.”

slips handwritten notes into their cars

“Proud of you. Love, Appa.”

Conflict Mediator

post-race debriefs

hosts “Family Meetings” with a whiteboard

“Min-Jae, stop dive-bombing. Hae-Won,stop smirking when he does.”

therapy sessions

drags them to family counseling

therapist quits after three sessions

“They’re… ´too passionate.”

JIMIN’S FEARS

safety

stares at crash compilations at 3 a.m.

“What if I lose them both in one day?”

sibling estrangement

finds Hae-Won crying after Min-Jae calls her a “robot”

Jimin tucks her into his side

“He doesn’t mean it. He’s just… bad at feelings.”

burnout

cancels a tour date to attend their first F3/2 race

“They’ll only be kids once. Priorities.”

BREAKTHROUGH

Monaco F2 Incident

Min-Jae and Hae-Won qualify P2 and P3

on lap 15, they battle through the hairpin

tires screeching, inches apart

Jimin clutches one of the members arms so hard he leaves bruises (they all came to watch)

Post-Race

they podium together

Hae-Won 1st, Min-Jae 3rd

instead of fighting, Min-Jae hugs her

“Don’t get used to it...”

Jimin sobs into a custom Red Bull-McLaren flag

Jimin’s Proudest Moment

overhearing Hae-Won defend Min-Jae to a reporter

“He’s the only driver I’d trust to race wheel-to-wheel with.”

KIM TAEHYUNG (V)

CHILD

Name: Min-Jae (he/him)

nicknamed "MJ" by the press

"Jae-Jae" by Taehyung

Team: Ferrari Driver Academy (F4 → F3 → F2)

Personality

firecracker with a Senna poster taped to his bedroom ceiling

brash, fearless

allergic to caution

MJ thrives on the edge

overtakes on the inside

revs engines like they’re percussion instruments

wears a permanent smirk under his helmet

media dubs him “The Little Phoenix” after he flips his kart in qualifiers only to podium the next day

Obsessions

Ayrton Senna’s 1988 Monaco GP

“He drove like it was jazz!”

customizing his gloves with paint splatters

“For luck. And style.”

collecting vintage racing helmets/suits

Tae turned his bedroom into a “museum” with display cases

HOW IT BEGINS

at 10

MJ finds Tae’s old Rush DVD

watches it 17 times in a week

then drags Tae to a go-kart track

he watches MJ lap seasoned adults while humming “Boy With Luv.”

First Conversation

MJ: “Appa, I wanna fly like Senna.” Taehyung: “…In a car? Or literally?”

TAEHYUNG’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Awe

“He’s a painting in motion. A… Pollock with a steering wheel.”

Terror

“He’s going to die. I’m going to watch my child die.”

Pride

texts the group chat

“MY SON’S A GOD. SUCK IT, KOOK.” (ofc banter)

What He Says

Day 1:

“You’re not allowed to die. Ever. It’s in the dad contract.”

Week 2:

“Let’s make your kart art. Pink flames? Gold tires? Yes.”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

aesthetic overhaul

designs MJ’s kart livery

= neon splatter paint inspired by Basquiat

“If you’re gonna be fast, be iconic.”

mental health checks

hires a therapist who races

“Dr. Nara does donuts and CBT. Multitasking queen.”

Senna pilgrimage

takes MJ to São Paulo (his favourite track)

films him crying at Senna’s grave

posts it with “Legends recognize legends”

MJ threatens to leak his unfinishes tracks

CONFLICTS

MJ attempts a Senna-style “no-look overtake” in the rain

kart hydroplanes into a barrier

Tae, mid-photoshoot in Milan, flies home on a private jet

still wearing Gucci loafers in the ICU

His Response

outward:

“You’re grounded. To… the kart track. After you heal.”

inward:

paints a mural titled “Phoenix Rising” on MJ’s cast

“Scars are just proof you outran death.”

LEAP TO F4

at 14/15

MJ joins Formula 4

Tae negotiates a sponsorship deal

the car?

= a rolling canvas

abstract designs that shift under UV lights

Proudest Moment

MJ wins his first race

dedicates it to “Appa, who taught me crashes are just plot twists.”

Quote to Him

“You’re not just a driver. You’re a performance artist. The track’s your stage... burn it down.”

JEON JUNGKOOK

CHILD

Name: Haneul (Sky) (she/her)

Team: ART (Asia Racing Team) (F4 → F3 → F2)

Personality

spitfire with a lead foot and a chip on her shoulder

Haneul inherited Jungkook’s competitive strea

battles a storm of self-doubt in a male-dominated sport

she’s all grit behind the wheel

= aggressive overtakes, daring late brakes

off-track, she folds her race suits meticulously

as if perfection could armor her against the world’s whispers

“They don’t see a driver. They see a girl driver.”

HOW IT BEGINS

at 6

Haneul begs to ride shotgun in a Porsche GT3 during a track day

he lets her “steer” on a straightaway

her tiny hands gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline

“Faster! Faster!”

she shrieks, and Jungkook grins

First Race

he buys her a junior kart for her 8th birthday

they paint it purple and gold

“Team Jeon colors”

he kneels in the gravel

teaching her heel-toe braking

“Smooth, Haneul-ah. Like dancing.”

JUNGKOOK’S REACTION

Initial Thoughts

Pride

“She’s a natural. Look at her lines...cleaner than mine at her age.”

Fear

“What if she gets hurt? What if they break her spirit?”

Protective Fury

“I’ll crash anyone who touches her.”

What He Says

After Her First Win (Age 10)

“You’re a monster out there. Proud of you, champ.”

When She Asks for F4 (Age 15)

“You sure? It’s not just speed. It’s war.”

SUPPORT & SACRIFICES

training regimen

wakes her at 5 a.m. for endurance runs

then cooks galbi at midnight after sim sessions

“Champions don’t sleep. Naps.”

public persona

uses his fame to shield her

brings her on live, arm around her shoulders

“Meet my co-pilot. She’s better than me.”

tattoo

after her F4 debut

he inks her car number (#07) and chassis outline on his ribs

shows her post-race

“Now you’re always with me.”

CONFLICTS

First Slur

rival team owner mutters “Go back to makeup tutorials” during qualifying

Haneul pretends not to hear

Jungkook slams his fist into a garage locker

denting the metal

His Response

outward

storms into the stewards’ office

demands the man’s ban

“Apologize to my daughter. Or I’ll park my car in your pit lane.”

inward:

cries alone

“I should’ve protected her better.”

Haneul’s Breaking Point

she quits mid-season after online trolls photoshop her into a doll

Jungkook finds her dismantling her helmet in the garage

Dialogue

Haneul: “I’m not strong like you. I can’t just… ignore it.” Jungkook: “You think I don’t see the comments? ‘Washed-up idol. Failed racer.’”

COMEBACK

Training Redemption

Jungkook hires a female ex-F1 test driver as her coach (Jessica Hawkins)

“Learn from the best. Better than me.”

Proudest Moment

Haneul podium��s in F4

dedicating the win to “the Appa who taught me to never lift.”

Jungkook, wearing her #07 cap, sobs into his headset

Quote to Her

“You’re not ‘Jungkook’s kid.’ I’m Haneul’s dad. Remember that.”

38 notes · View notes

sleepy-the-loz-enthusiast · 2 months ago

Text

For the wonderful people who liked my post about having a Legend-ary dream (I'm not funny), I wrote it into a fic !!! This is the first modern au fic I have posted in maybe a year I'm so sorry

Warning for heavy projection (if you can't deal with your problems just give them to your comfort character XD), and please let me know if I need to add anything else my brain is soup rn

I'm sorry if this isn't very coherent- but I hope you enjoy !!! Fic under the cut :]

Buzzing under his cheek startled Legend out of the deep sleep he'd fallen into. Pushing up onto his forearms, he fumbled with the device until the insistent buzzing stopped. Right, yeah, time to take the meds that Legend apparently needed because his stupid body couldn't do what he needed-

He muffled a groan into his pillow. Then sluggishly shifted onto his side to blindly grope for his water bottle and the pills he had to take for the day. Distantly, he thanked hylia for his therapist's suggestion to measure out everything he had to take for the day ahead of time. And thanked himself for actually listening.

Once the meds had been taken with a generous swig of water from his dented metal bottle, Legend flopped back down onto his stomach. He gently stroked the soft fur of the old rabbit plushie squished under his stomach and his bleary eyes slipped shut. Resting them for a few minutes couldn't hurt.

...

Legend was abruptly woken by his door slamming open and a voice he should recognise yelling at him.

"You getting up today or what?" An older, male, voice yelled from the doorway.

Legend jumped, shoving himself upright and hiding the rabbit in his mess of blankets. "Working on it, asshole!" He snapped.

"Good, mum says you can't laze around all day in bed! She can't always care for your sorry ass!" The man- technically his foster brother, the eldest bio child of these parents- hissed, and slammed the door shut on his way out.

Though futile, Legend flipped him off once he heard those heavy footsteps disappear. If doing the bare minimum to prevent him from keeling over was considered caring, then that asshole must be royalty. Legend groaned as he fell back down onto his side, onto something distinctly hard. Ow. At least his phone wasn't damaged, from what he could see at least.

Half open eyes glanced over the collection of notifications that'd formed while he slept, swiping past notifications from youtube and tumblr without paying much attention to what they said. He foggily skimmed through the backlog of messages on the hylia knows how many groupchats he's in, and swiped them away. Finally, the discord messages from the person Legend could trust the most. Hyrule.

These were the notifications he actually bothered opening.

As discord loaded, Legend sought out his rabbit plushie, Bunny, and held her close once more, curling into a loose ball. He also pulled a blanket back over himself, for good measure. It was childish. It was dumb. Legend didn't care. It was comforting.

Discord loaded. Rulie hadn't sent him much, just a few funny cat videos and memes. But they were online, and began typing as soon as Legend had looked through everything.

Faerule:

hey

youre alive

sky and time are really worried about you

you okay?

Legend paused, reading over the messages until they made sense in his jumbled brain. Eventually his fingers typed out a reply.

Why?

Faerule:

dude

we havent seen you in days

Wait, it'd been days? He could swear he'd seen them just....

Days???

Faerule:

yea

i figured you were tired but sky said hes worried

time just left

were at the cafe btw

do you wanna join us?

Legend stared at the message. And stared. Did he want to go out? He should, but...

But.... why? What is the 'but'? What was he missing in the fog of his brain?

Sure

Be there soon

Legend didn't wait for a response before switching off his phone and sluggishly dragging himself upright. And immediately doubled over his stomach as it erupted into white hot agony.

Fuck his life. The SECOND he gets a break, his period starts???

It doesn't matter that it's a sign his body is 'out of survival mode' or whatever. He doesn't care if it's something to be glad about because it means he can rest after weeks of exam stress and non-stop studying. Why? Because it FUCKING HURTS.

Whatever.

At least his secret stash of painkillers was undisturbed. And he'd had the foresight to wear a pad. Even if they were uncomfortable.

Legend glanced around before taking two tablets dry. He hid the rest with practiced, silent movements, but still searched for anyone watching. Some may call it paranoia, but Legend calls it staying safe.

Like how he pushes through the discomfort to quietly pry open the loose floorboard under his bed. He pulls out the bag he keeps under there that holds his heart. He silently bundled up Bunny and hid her in her special place in the bag, but not before placing a gentle kiss on her little forehead.

Somehow, Legend picked out an acceptable outfit. His favourite oversized red hoodie (that Hyrule joked it hid the bloodstains of his enemies) ensured that he didn't need to do deal with the sensory nightmare of wearing a binder. The soft, worn but sturdy fabric was a comforting bonus. It did, also, hide bloodstains well. The pin encrusted beanie he pulled on also hid his shame in the greasy mop that his hair had become. Baby blue bands wrapped around his fingers were his proof that, despite what his body wanted, Legend was a man. Sometimes.

By the time Legend had slung his bag over his shoulders and texted this mother (fuck what's her name-?) and left the house, his head was spinning. But whatever. He was always a shaky mess on his period. It was fine. The cafe wasn't far, anyway. And he needed to get outside. It was fine.

Even if Legend needed to spend a few minutes doubled over on a bench. And nearly threw up onto the field halfway between this house and the cafe. He was fine. It was fine.

The prickles of cold sweat on the back of his neck and weakness weighing down his knees didn't dissuade Legend from smiling when he caught sight of two friends in the homely cafe.

At first, the group- Legend, Hyrule, Ravio, Wild, and Four- had started hanging out there after school, since Hyrule's cousin worked full-time there. But it soon became a regular spot for them when Hyrule had a meltdown after a bad day, and instead of kicking them out, their cousin just took them and Legend to a quiet, sensory friendly room to calm down. Since then, it held a welcome place in Legend's heart, and become a safe haven throughout high school.

But what happens now high school's over-

"Hey Lege!" Sky greeted, snapping Legend out of his thoughts. He offered a small wave and a warm smile.

"Wow you look like shit, come sit down!" Hyrule greeted him less warmly, but the care and concern shone through when they shifted to make room for Legend to sit beside them.

"What happened to 'hi how are you'?" Legend snarked with a small smile. Though it quickly faded alongside the colour in his face while he worked to lower himself down beside Hyrule without collapsing.

"'Hi how are you's are for dumbasses who don't vanish for days," Hyrule chuckled. They pushed a plate towards Legend, and on it sat a generous slice of carrot cake and Legend's favourite drink.

Legend didn't honour that with a response. Not because he's an ass, but because the small giggle that bubbled in his soul was just enough to trigger the most agonising, soul crushing cramp.

If hell existed, Legend would prefer it over this bullshit. Fucking OW.

...

No matter how many times Hyrule had told themself to expect the unexpected with Legend, they didn't expect Legend to suddenly go white and smack his head on the table. Legend not talking to people for days wasn't unheard of, and Hyrule knew he'd been stressed, so hadn't worried too hard.

But this? This was pretty damn worrying.

The worst thing was the small, pathetic noise that slipped out of Legend's mouth as he clutched at his stomach with shaking hands.

Distantly, Hyrule heard Sky swear and rush to kneel beside their friend. They heard him rummage through his bag and talk in a soft voice to the trembling boy. They saw how Legend's shoulders visibly tensed the longer Sky rubbed his back or tried to force a small pack into his hands.

"Sky, back off," Hyrule said, soft as to not overwhelm their friend, but firm enough to make Sky pause.

"But- I've seen this happen with Sun, and I want to help-" Sky defended. He did remove his hands, though.

"Yeah and that's kind, but you're overwhelming him," Hyrule explained, keeping his tone even and soft. Legend groaned his agreement.

"No, he needs-" Sky paused, "... shit, no, you're right. Sorry, Lege. Do you need to go somewhere else?"

Legend kept his eyes squeezed shut against the wooden table for a moment longer, before he lifted his head to give him a little nod. Sky gave him an unreadable look, before making eye contact with Hyrule (who held it for maybe a second before looking away because who just stares into people's eyes?) and handing them the small pack thingy he'd tried giving to Legend. He then just left?? To go talk to Hyrule's cousin. Ah.

Hyrule looked back to find Legend staring at them with his classic "I am but a poor victorian child, I have nothing to offer, but may I have love in this cruel, harsh world?" eyes.

...maybe not sending that message. More like "I am going to kill everyone here and then myself", which Hyrule knew was Legend code for "give me a hug or I will cry". So Hyrule tentatively placed his hand on Legend's back, looking closely for any of those silent signs that he doesn't want the touch.

Legend instead relaxes, letting go of the tension between his shoulder blades with a sigh and his eyes slip shut again. Hyrule gives him a smile, soft in a way that would've earned them an eyeroll if he'd seen it.

Sky returned to the table. "We're good to let him chill in the room until Proxi's on her break and can take you guys back to yours."

"...'him' is RIGHT here." Legend's head lifted off the table to give Sky stink eye. Sky, the cheeky bastard he is, merely poked his tongue out.

Hyrule blinked. "Wait, are we allowed to take our drinks in there?"

"Mhm!" Sky affirmed.

If he was being completely honest, Legend wasn't entirely sure what the fuck was going on. He wasn't high, but his brain drifted in a foggy bubble while his forehead pressed against the edge of a table.

Rulie was nearby; their hand and aroma of wildflowers anchored Legend to his body. Sky was also there, his presence warm and playful but too much right now.

Demise is tap dancing in his uterus wearing stilettos and on fire, which probably explains why he's doubled over.

Somehow, Sky and Rulie get him on his feet? Though the ground tilts and churns beneath his feet, and Legend's face flushes though chills rain on his back like a flood of frozen nails. When a flood of black spots speckle his vision and his knees nearly buckle, Legend grabs ahold of the taller man beside him. He faintly hears a small, surprised 'oh!', but otherwise he's allowed to cling onto the pillowy fabric of Sky's hoodie sleeve as the man leads the way.

Legend knows when they get to the room because the lights in here are warmer and dimmer and Hyrule's smell of wildflowers draws closer. They stop and Legend's vision clears a little to reveal their little safe haven. Complete with a ridiculously soft red throw blanket that Hyrule was carefully rearranging over the massive beanbags in the corner. The plate of carrot cake and Legend's incredibly specific coffee order were securely sat on the short table beside the beanbags.

Then Hyrule gently eases Legend's bag from his back, making sure that Legend can see what he's doing, and carefully placed it beside the beanbags. Meanwhile Sky pried Legend's shaking fingers off his sleeve, but soon replaced it with his own hand.

He tries to ignore how Sky's larger, warmer hand and sturdy presence dredges up memories of another man who used to hold Legend's bony hands. Who raised Legend with warmth and laughter. Warmth and laughter that died that night in that alley, leaving behind the shivering mess of a boy that Legend has become.

The worst part is that Sky's so damn patient. He doesn't complain when Legend's rings surely cut into his palm. He doesn't complain when he has to wrap an arm around Legend's back just to keep him upright. He doesn't complain when it takes both him and Hyrule to get Legend situated on a beanbag because Legend's so, so tired.

Legend should find this humiliating.

Legend should be able to decipher what the voices swimming above his head are saying. He should be stronger than the shivering ball he's curled himself into. He should be able to at least open his eyes.

When something warm presses against his stomach, the awful pain melts into a puddle. Alongside the ice cage keeping Legend's tears at bay.

He blindly reaches out until his broken body is wrapped in the soft embrace of wildflowers and safety. Not even the sobs wracking his soul can dislodge the warm, soft arms that hold him.

Hyrule never shushes him, never whispers kind lies. Hyrule sees his broken body and soul and cradles the shards regardless. Their heart beating beneath Legend's ear never stops, never pauses its song of love and hope.

Hyrule still holds him when the tears slow to a trickle and the fog in his head gives way to the gentle confines of sleepiness. They press a kiss into the unkempt mess of his hair with a promise.

"It's alright, you can rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

#sleepy ACTUALLY posts a fic instead of talking about them????#unbelievable #I'm dealing with feeling bad by giving it to Legend and just changing a few things to fit his story and character #anywaysssss #tloz #legend of zelda #linked universe #lu #lu legend #lu sky #lu hyrule #lu fanfiction #linked universe fanfic #zelda fanfiction #modern au #lu modern au #sleepy writes???#i may post this onto ao3 later but idk what to put in the tags

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educatedsimps · 1 year ago

Text

— you are my sunshine, sakusa kiyoomi

≪ back to fics masterlist

sakusa kiyoomi x anorexic!reader

**TRIGGER WARNINGS: EATING DISORDER (anorexia), slight nsfw (light petting with no penetration, NC16 at most?), swearing PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU MAY BE TRIGGERED BY THE ABOVE TOPICS. please exercise some self-care and enjoy some of our other fics instead! we'll see you in our next post <3

a/n: i really NEEDED TO do this. doing this for my sanity 😭😭😭 - yves

content under the cut!

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," you sang as you drove along the expressway.

"You make me happy, when skies are grey," Sakusa, comfortably seated in the passenger seat, sang in response. He gently squeezed your thigh.

You let out a breath with a smile on your face. That day was an exciting day for the two of you. It was the match between the MSBY Black Jackels and Schweiden Adlers, and Kiyoomi had been a ball of nerves for the past week. So to show your support, you decided to drive your dear passenger princess, Sakusa Kiyoomi, to the Kamei Arena Sendai Gymnasium.

You had spent half a day at the office and the other half dolling yourself up for the match that evening. Kiyoomi frowned at the sheer effort you had put into looking good for him at the match. He grunted out something along the lines of "getting distracted by how pretty Y/n is" and how "You have to be less pretty or I'll have to learn how to fight with my bare fists". You laughed at the thought of your husband trying to smash someone's jaws with his fists when he hated any physical contact with strangers.

After kissing him goodbye at the back gates leading to the MSBY locker rooms, you went to the Ladies and touched up your lipgloss infront of the mirror. As you looked at your reflection, you thought to yourself, maybe I do look good.

Ding!

From: MSBY girlies + Keiji <3

Miyu (Atsumu's GF) [6.43pm] Y/n pookiee~ Are you here yet?

Keiji (Bokuto's fiance) [6.44pm] We're at the VIP section, Row 1. The security guard knows who you are so he'll show you the way in later. You sure you don't want us to come find you?

Kira (Meian's wife) [6.44pm] ahhh can't wait to see you, Y/n! XD

You smiled as you read their messages.

You [6.45pm] I'll be alright, thanks! I'm heading up right now Excited to see you guys too :>

They had been planning to sit together since the start of the new season, after Kiyoomi had formally introduced you to the rest of the team.

As you reached the VIP area, you immediately regretted agreeing to sit with them. Your self-esteem shattered the moment you saw them.

They were drop-dead gorgeous, with their perfect makeup, in their perfect outfits that hugged them in all the right places. They looked straight out of a fashion magazine. It was something about how feminine they looked, and the way they all smiled sweetly when they saw you. So inviting and loving. They were the boys' partners after all.

But they've got to have flaws, right? That's only human.

Their smiles felt genuine, and you could see glimpses of their partners in them. Some were rowdy, hugging you when they saw you and treating you like one of them. They asked you questions about yourself, even getting drinks and snacks for you and including you in the post-game party at Bokuto's place. For a moment, you felt like one of them.

But how can a whole group of people be so damn perfect?

God, how you hated how inferior you felt. The differences between you and them became even more apparent when you saw the post-game pictures that had posted on Instagram. You had only gotten their Insta handles just a day before and were already on the verge of unfollowing.

It was insane how out of place you felt as they sat there so pretty in just their partners' jerseys. Somehow, they still managed to look so good. Unlike you.

Eventually, your brain churned out only one reason - it all came down to how small and delicate they looked compared to you.

How they looked worthy to be the lovers of the MSBY players. How they were pretty enough to be their partners.

It was crazy enough that you were comparing yourself to the Akaashi Keiji. How alluring he was, even just sitting in the same area as you. He was even more beautiful up close, there was something deep within his psyche that was so magnetic. It was evident that he took care of himself, with how his dress shirt clung to his thin waist. You can't help but admire him, and you wondered if your own clothes would ever do you the same favour.

If only you had a waist as small as his.

It scared you how the need to fit in with them became so acute. The hopes of not being the laughing stock of the group fueled the waves of self-hatred that you hadn't felt since high school. You were bullied for being chubbier than average. Teenagers were brutal, especially to anything they perceived to be different.

Obese. Katsudon. Pork planet. They were corny, sure, yet shivers ran down your spine at the memory of those names. Not long after, you started having nightmares of that darned high school. The same bullies, the same by-stander classmates, and the new addition of Kiyoomi in his high school uniform with disgust in his eyes, telling you to break up with him. His back faced you whenever you asked for the reason.

It's because of how fat you are. He'd still love me no matter what right? Right?

And every time you woke up from one of those nightmares, you would wake up sobbing.

Yet every time, Kiyoomi still seemed to be blissfully asleep. You knew he'd always have trouble sleeping before an upcoming match and with him looking so at peace, you never had the heart to wake him up.

He doesn't need to know about this. I'll tell him when morning comes.

But you never came round to telling him about the nightmares. The seeds of doubt from those recurring nightmares started to sprout inside you.

You stopped finishing your meals. You started running with Kiyoomi in the mornings to "spend more time with him". Lunch breaks at work were replaced with attending the pilates class across the street. The cans of Celcius in the fridge were depleting faster than ever. Your daily coffee order changed to an Iced Americanos with 4 shots of espresso.

And when the number on the scale dropped, the grin on your face was evidence enough of how light your heart felt. Nights were long when you spent the first hour waiting for Kiyoomi to fall sleep before you shimmied yourself out of his warm embrace to count the flaws of your body with your reflection in the full length bathroom mirror. With how your waist measurements dipped along with Sakusa's compliments of how much healthier you had become lately, your were giddy with happiness.

But God, did it hurt when you realised you had seemed 'unhealthy' to him in the first place. He could have just called you fat, it's not like you would've crumbled, right?

Hit with the sickening realisation that the voice in your head was right all along, that it was even how Kiyoomi saw you, your tears mixed into the shower water one day after a pilates class. You were glad that your husband was busy at practice and wouldn't come in to take an impromptu shower with you and see you in this wretched state.

Please, please, please, don't prove I'm right.

⊹₊⋆☁︎⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆☁︎⋆₊ ⊹

"You'll never know, Dear. How much I love you~,"

Your husband sang from the kitchen as you hugged him from behind. With his beefy back against your face and him cooking breakfast, it felt like a blessing so surreal. You wished you'd never have to leave this position.

It's a late Saturday morning and you and Kiyoomi had agreed to have your usual stay-at-home date.

"Eggs?" He looked over his shoulder to you hugging him like an oversized stuffed toy.

"Maybe just egg whites today. I wanna try a new brand of yogurt I got yesterday with the granola I made this week," You replied, stifling a yawn

He nodded in acknowledgement and fetched the carton of egg whites from the fridge as you detached yourself from him and took the cutleries and dishes out of the dishwasher.

"How have you and the girls been? And how's the uh, pilates class you said was kicking your ass?" Kiyoomi asked as he plated his scrambled eggs.

You took the low fat, high protein yogurt out of the fridge as you replied, "It's fun, but I definitely understand why Pilates was made for prisoners."

His eyes were obviously judging you as he laughed to himself. "It can't be that bad. Definitely not as bad as our training when Meian-san is in a bad mood."

You could only sigh with a roll of your eyes. You retorted with an elbow jab to his side, "Why don't you come for class one day and we'll see about that, Mr. I'm-So-Strong."

He squirmed with the frying pan in his hand and a spatula in the other, swatting you away like a fly. You stepped away to giggle at the sight of him using his spatula like a sword in Barbie and the Three Musketeers.

When all was done, the both of you sat down at the small, 4-seater dining area in your home and continued chatting about how the week had gone.

"Itadakimasu!"

And the first thing that Kiyoomi dug into was your yogurt. You stared at him, offended. He ate it as if he was the one who had bought groceries that week.

The moment the yogurt touched his tongue, his face turned as sour as the yogurt he ate. With his face all scrunched up like that, you couldn’t help but let out a small giggle as you took the second spoon of yogurt from the same bowl.

“Y/n, I have no clue what’s so nice about this- this bowl of cold, white... glue," he looked at you in pure astonishment.

“That’s because you're supposed to eat it with fruits and granola, Omi-Omi," You stated simply.

You didn’t have the guts to tell him that you were more worried about exceeding your 600 calorie count for the day than how shitty the yogurt tasted.

"Atsumu's rubbing off on you..." he grumbled, making you giggle at the way his face scrunched up at the sound of Atsumu's nickname for him.

After breakfast, the two of you moved over to the sofa to browse Netflix for a show to watch. As usual, Kiyoomi had the remote control in his hand and the other on your thigh. Catching a glimpse of the wide smile on your face, he noticed that your thigh seemed a lot smaller and more toned than before. He glanced down at it, though his face didn't betray his shock.

Since when did your thigh get so small?

"Y/n, you like the size difference between my hand and your leg? Is that why you're smiling so much?" he teased, smiling as you blushed crimson.

"Didn't realise you had a size kink," he whistled, grinning as you slapped his bicep playfully. He tightened his warm grip on your thigh, making you gasp. Your hand reached for his shoulder as you swung yourself from the sofa and onto his lap for a peck on his lips. You could feel him smiling into the kiss before you pulled away.

"Seducing me this early in the morning, babe?" he said, poking your nose lightly with his finger.

You smirked teasingly at him as you moved your hips against his, making him groan softly into your ear.

"Maybe," you drawled, tracing his jawline with your finger before going in for another kiss. This time his lips trapped your tongue, sucking on it greedily. Dopamine rushed to your head as your innocent kiss became a steamy tug of war. His hands ghosted your abdomen and you suddenly became hyperaware of it.

Fuck, he can feel how fat I am.

You instinctively flexed your abs, in an attempt to stop him from feeling the folds of ugly fat around your stomach. His hands held your waist firmly as his thumb traced your abdomen, before coming to gradual stop.

Kiyoomi broke apart from the kiss, leaving your swollen lips to chase after his, but his forehead leaned against yours to signal a stop.

"Babe, what was that?"

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest, and you weren't sure if it was from the make-out session or his realisation that...

"What was what?" you returned, looking at him with your best attempt at puppy eyes.

You were cold sweating by then, but you hoped he wouldn't notice.

"Are those… abs?" His eyes flew wide, his attention all on you. His eyes were filled with curiosity and oh, how they glimmered so beautifully.

You wished upon the stars you'd never have to lie to those eyes ever again.

"Of course, I just thought maybe you'd like to see a different side of me... a little sexier," you averted his gaze, guiding his hand towards the hem of your oversized shirt.

He lifted your shirt and you saw how his cheeks turned an embarrassing shade of red. Burying his face in your chest, he tilted his head up to meet your eyes. "God, I have no clue what to do with you, Y/n."

It was quite evident what he wanted when you felt his shaft become more prominent through his home shorts.

And the rest became a memory you keep with joy.

Please, please, please, don't bring me to tears when I just did my make up so nice.

But all that joy didn't last when you woke up the next morning, scrutinising your body in front of the mirror.

How could you let him see this? This slob of a body?

Shame clawed at your throat as your fingers tugged at the fat of your stomach. You placed your palm over your collarbones, and they felt sharper than they used to. You knew you'd definitely lost the weight, but the greed to look more dainty than ever had you in a chokehold.

These thighs look so fat. Your arms are so flabby. Gosh, even your armpits are fat. It's hideous.

You're hideous.

And nothing but regret and guilt kept gnawing at your insides like a feral beast. The only solution you came up with was to grab the biggest shirt in the house - his MSBY jersey - and the sweatpants that covered your legs entirely.

In the following days, when Kiyoomi tried to remove any article of clothing from your body, you grabbed his hand to stop him with the excuse that you were tired. But truthfully, your new routine had been wearing you out more than you had anticipated.

His next match was with EJP Raijin on another Saturday night, with crowds roaring from both sides of the arena. You let yourself loose the moment the girls called your name across the hall, running over to hug you.

Your defenses go down as you shared a laugh with the others. When they offered a pack of chips from the snack table, you hesitated. But your inner voice reminded you that you had been fasting since the previous day, so you take the bag of chips with a smile. You felt lightheaded and giddy when a couple of the girls compliment your figure - it was the happiest you'd felt in the past two months.

The hunger pains were worth every bit of this happiness.

During the match break, you found yourself talking to the EJP players' partners as well. When Atsumu's girlfriend introduces you to the other girls and guys, your attention went directly to Suna's fiancée. It's obvious that she was a much smaller build than the other girls but the way her dress hung off of her made you gulp nervously. Your brain was strangely and subconsciously wired to recognise her as competition. She was quiet and elegant, small but eloquent. She was everything you wanted to be.

"Oh, mineral water's fine with me," she said with a smile when you offered her a bottle of Coke Zero.

GUILT GUILT GUILT

It made you choke back tears when you realised how fat you were behaving. Or how bloated you looked right then, with all that carbonation and salt.

And those thoughts immediately got rid of any joy of that day. When you headed home, you tried your best to look happy after Kiyoomi had served the winning goal, but your mind was plagued with the nagging thought of how you had let yourself slip.

Later that night, after snuggling in with your husband and making sure he was fast asleep, you snuck out of his warm embrace. His biceps were so warm, and being sandwiched between his chest and his arm made it hard to leave when it was the best place to be.

You left to burn off the calories from the snacks you had binged on earlier that evening. As you left the bedroom with a yoga mat in arm, you were determined to complete the new routine you had promised yourself in the shower. You wished you could do it without any problems but recently, you had been seeing black spots and felt lightheaded every time you did any physical activity. It was a bitch to have to stop for awhile before continuing your exercises.

The moment you stepped into the shower, sweaty and tired, you didn't notice your husband stirring awake as the warm water hit your body.

Kiyoomi was confused when he woke up to his arm cold and the absence of your body pressed against his. He had been itching with nerves those few months when he realised your behaviour had started changing around him. And that same anxiety only heightened when he heard your sniffles coming from the shower. It was the first time you became so reclused from him. At first, he was worried that you were wringing yourself dry from the amount of work you had, but he later spiralled into thinking that it was because you were falling out of love with him.

When he heard the bedroom door click open, he hurriedly pretended to be asleep.

Beep. Silence. Beep.

Your sigh made him itching to hug you and ask what happened. But the sigh following the beep of the weighing scale made it clear to him that the number on the weighing scale had somehow upset you one way or another. You approached the full-length mirror and peeked again to make sure your husband was still fast asleep.

You lifted the jersey above your chest, throwing it off to the side of the bed where you slept.

Kiyoomi honestly thought you were about to climb into bed topless (don't ask, he was not in his working mind). But when you stood still in front of the mirror, scrutinising your body like a piece of meat at the market, he could tell that you weren't heading to bed anytime soon.

You pinched at every corner of skin you could find. You looked at the woman in the reflection, and all you could see was the poor girl in high school. Fat and ugly, unlikeable and pitiful.

You then turned to your side, hoping to find comfort in seeing a flatter stomach.

In the dim lights, Kiyoomi could see the outline of your emaciated figure and the faint outline of your ribcage was enough to make him open his eyes fully in shock. The bruises along your spine made him wonder if he had been too rough with you all those times you were intimate. The way your hipbones jutted out were enough to throw him into a pool of anxious thoughts.

Maybe he should talk to you about it tomorrow.

But the last straw was when you muttered under your breath about how fat you still were.

No, he had to talk to you about it ASAP.

The bed creaked as you crawled back into his arms and he wrapped his arms around your waist. He never remembered your waist being so small before.

"Can't sleep?" you asked, turning your head towards him. His eyes opened to see your face in front of him.

He was sure the moonlight was playing tricks on him. Your face had harsh lines that he had never noticed, your nose sharper than ever and eyes bigger than before. Your collarbones peeped out of his jersey, more prominent than he had ever seen.

Fuck, how did it get so bad?

He knew you were trying to get fitter but he never realised you were developing something beyond just healthy habits. Kiyoomi could only blame himself for being so absorbed by his recent matches. For not noticing you were harming yourself.

He nodded and you snuggled into his chest, your arms wrapping around his waist comfortably. His thumb ran down your back in an effort to calm you both. Chills ran down his spine when he felt every ridge and bump of your vertebrate. It made him question how he had never noticed everything come crashing down.

"Babe, you okay? Aren't you be happy? Your team won today's match," you looked up into his eyes which were filled with concern. His eyebrows were furrowed in deep thought.

"How... how did you get so small?" he breathed.

You gulped. Things could only go south from here.

He continued. "I didn't realise it but when Atsumu mentioned it last week, I couldn't help but notice how much weight you've actually lost. Is it even safe to lose this much?"

He held you like you'd slip through his fingers at any moment, like water in a broken plastic cup.

You tried to avoid the topic, tried to look away but he wouldn't let you.

"...Atsumu? What did he say, specifically?" your eyes turned cold the second he mentioned his teammate.

What did he have anything to do with this?

Kiyoomi sat up against the bed frame before sighing deeply. "He was just asking if you were okay, 'cause you didn't seem as energetic as usual. And you can't argue with me, you have lost quite a bit of weight."

You knew that it was taking a lot out of him to talk about this, especially since he was never a confrontational person. It had to mean a lot to him, for him to face a situation like this head on.

"I'm-"

"No, Y/n. You're not fine. Have you been eating well? No, scratch that- have you been eating at all?"

You could feel the waterworks about to start, you felt the back of your eyes warming. Your fingernails dug into your palm, as if you could physically stop the tears from falling.

"I... I ate just now. With the girls," you whispered.

"A Proper Meal, babe. Not one of those 'girl dinner' crap you used to pull in college," he gritted out.

You let out a breath.

"2 days ago. Dinner," your voice cracked, and the waterworks had officially begun. Shame erupted in your chest.

"Fuck," Kiyoomi cursed under his breath.

He couldn't believe this was the same Y/n that would drag him out to enjoy their favourite foods together after a tiring day of practice and work. The same Y/n that enjoyed cooking together with him. The same Y/n that had monthly competitions with him to see who could finish more sushi plates at the conveyor belt sushi restaurant down the street.

It was the same Y/N that deprived herself of any food for days because she saw nothing but ugly, unwanted fat on her emaciated body.

Kiyoomi was speechless. He blinked several times, willing the tears welling up in his eyes not to fall but it was useless. You saw the way his tears rolled down his face along with his sharp intake of breath. He had never thought his wife would do something like this.

The guilt of not noticing what was happening to you was eating him alive.

He managed to calm himself down slightly before doing the only thing he could think of in the moment. He pulled you in and held you tight.

"Please," he whispered. Hugging you close, he begged, "Please don't take my sunshine away."

#educated.simps #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#yves.writes #lyssa.edits #sakusa kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa angst #sakusa fluff #hq sakusa

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yourheart-inmyhands · 2 years ago

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Ok a weird request 😭

Imagine yan!Zhongli, abyss!Aether and Neuvillette with a darling that loves them back (they don't care they're a yandere (and no it's not Stockholm Syndrome)) but just asks their brother to be with them (bc they imprisoned her) and if they accept, they see that the supposed "brother" is a dog- like- darling considers her dog her own brother.

The reason is that I myself consider the dog my mom has my brother- Please I am normal I swear 😭

- Weird anon ✨ (idk if you do this honestly 😭)

so i actaully don't write for aether anymore (i'm so sorry about that ;v;), but i hope you still like the other two! and don't worry about being weird lol, my cat is my literal son, like i'm 99% sure i gave birth to him and just forgot (it's scary how alike we are) XD

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including obsessive behavior, implied being held against will, that's about it this one is pretty tame, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Yandere!Zhongli allows it, but that doesn’t mean he entirely understands it. Please don’t expect him to grasp the entire thing right away. He’ll ask if your ‘brother’ sits at the table for dinner and if Zhongli needs to prepare additional servings for him, etc. Despite having lived for many, many years and having seen many strange things, Zhongli still struggles to fully understand the situation. He allows it though, anything to make his beloved happy.

“Does he… does your brother sit at the table with us for dinner?” Zhongli looked at the dog sat by your feet, one eyebrow raised in confusion as he anxiously awaited your response. A dog at the dinner table wasn’t exactly good for sanitary eating but he supposed he could allow it to slide for your sake. You had been compliant with his wishes thus far, who would he be to deny you the one thing you had asked for. He at first thought that your ‘brother’ had once been human and turned animal, but when you explained the situation to him, he seemed to feel even more at odds. Regardless, you are his beloved, and he’d comply to your wishes so long as it was in reason. Not only did he want your love, but he wanted you to be happy, and if this silly wish of yours was what it meant, he’d gladly give in.

Yandere!Neuvillette is perturbed to say the least. He had known already that your family had a dog, but he didn’t think you’d be this attached to it. Nevertheless he does retrieve your ‘brother’ and makes accommodations inside the manor for him. He doesn’t much interact with him though, Neuvillette isn’t really a dog-person, he’s not really an animal person at all. This was your one ask thus far though and you’d been accepting of his love so he wouldn’t argue. The dog will not be allowed to eat dinner with you though, he will eat his food in a separate room, as proper etiquette calls for.

Neuvillette didn’t understand the attachment that humans developed with animals, but he also never really cared for animals. The melusines were different, they behaved much like humans and could converse with Neuvillette, animals could not. When you requested that you be allowed your brother, Neuvillette was skeptical at first. When you then explained that your ‘brother’ was a dog, he relented, retrieving the pet for you. While he makes a room for the dog and even prepares meals for him, do not expect him to love the dog. Neuvillette doesn’t much care for bonds with animals like that, he’ll greatly outlive them and simply isn’t fond of the type of companionship they provide, so your brother is all yours. Of course if you asked, he’d walk him or bathe him or do any other such task, but only if asked will he do it. His rule is that you asked for him to brought here and that he is now your responsibility.

#genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #yandere genshin x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x male reader #yandere zhongli x male reader #yandere zhongli x reader #neuvillette x reader #neuvillette x male reader #yandere neuvillette x reader #yandere neuvillette x male reader #yandere genshin #yandere zhongli #yandere neuvillette

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lostinwildflowers · 3 months ago

Text

Summary: When you and Six are asked to go undercover for a high-stakes mission, you aren't quite sure what you are getting yourself into. All you know is that people are disappearing, and you need to find and kill the mafia boss responsible. Oh, and you are supposed to be Six's undercover girlfriend.

Series Word Count: 62.1K

Series Warnings: Fake dating AU, the mafia, black market, mentions/descriptions of sex trafficking, guns/weaponry/bioweapons/drugs/alcohol, depictions of violence/blood/gore, pre-canon setting, intense/passionate scenes but not NSFW, some sexual innuendos/jokes, slight pervy behavior from OCs, swearing/some harsh language, angst, idiots to lovers(my beloved), mutual pining, reader is very slightly a crybaby but just is overwhelmed a lot of the time, reader has hair long enough to put in an up-do of sorts, Six is a little shit, lots of fluff mixed in

A/N: This series contains some dark content, which I typically don't write on this blog. I ask that if you interact with this series, you are 18+. There is no "smut", but there are potentially dark/triggering topics for some, as well as some suggestive content. Please refer to each individual part for more tailored warnings.

Also, this series is based on one of my all-time favorite songs - "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton. I highly recommend you listen to it before you read this series! I pulled inspiration from both this song and The Princess Bride, so please enjoy! I would absolutely love to hear feedback!!!

Series

Part I - 15.9K - Fitzroy assigns you and Six your next mission - one that has you on the edge of your seat for more than one reason.

Part II - 16.7K - The mission is starting to ramp up, but your mind starts to get muddled when Six has to actually start acting like your boyfriend.

Part III - 24.4K - A twist is thrown into the mission just as you think you are finally settling in, and Six? Well, he's acting like your boyfriend more than you can handle.

Epilogue - 5.0K - The mission is over, and the target is dead. You don't know how things stand between you and Six - but there's only one way to find out.

Moodboards

Part I

Part II

Part III

Epilogue

Dedicated Meme Page - ...yeah this is a thing XD

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b4mpyre-k1zz3s · 6 months ago

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omg omg cute little fic about ville meeting stunt girl on the jackass set and both of them just become blubbering messes infront of each other!! But they’re trying to play it so cool infront of all the guys :3 LOVE UR WRITING!!

Diametric Bonds

Ville’s in town on tour and decides to make a visit to the set his friend’s filming in, only to meet a woman who absloutely captivates him.

Ville Valo X Fem!Reader

(Fluff)

1.8k Words

Warnings: Suggestive content, crude language, teasing, tension, flirting, nervousness, anal

An: Thank you so much for the request! I find I write best for stuntgirl!Y/N by think of how I would react in these scenarios XD I was inspired by one of my friends mention that she thought Ville was friends with Bam because he was so different from him, and that led to the whole opposites attract aspect of this fic! Anyways, thank you for reading, and please keep sending requests!

“It’s rather…bondage-y, no?” Ville ran his thumbs up and down the shoulder straps of the shiny new torture device Bam was fitted with after that nollie frontside 180 landed him in the hospital last week. He groaned, slumping the best the harness would allow him to, “Dude- this shit is so lame ass. They got me in this, like- grandpa back brace, and I can’t even skate for two weeks! This is such bullshit…” A thin smile spread across his lips in response to the whining. Despite his bitchiness, Bam was a fun guy to be around, and Ville enjoyed the excitement. You, on the other hand, had grown close to Bam because you had common interests. Since you could half competently stand on a board, you were called in to do some of the skating stunts while he healed up. Over that time, you’d gotten pretty close, which explains why you barged into his trailer.

“Hey, Bam! D’ya wanna- woah…” The stranger standing in his trailer was pretty- too pretty. Covered in grime from whatever you’d just gotten back from filming. you only wanted to grab Bam’s Vicodin for him before Steve-O nabbed it. That is when you stumbled upon the Interview With a Vampire looking piece of chiseled marble that was Ville. “Oh shit- hey!” Still shirtless, Bam threw an arm around you and introduced you the way a proud parent would show off their honor roll kid, “Ville, this here’s Y/N! She’s the raddest chick I've ever met.” Grinning, Bam ruffled your hair, “Taught this little hessian everything she knows!” Rolling your eyes, you scoffed at the sheer quantity of undue credit he was giving himself, but besides the extent of his bullshittng, you kept your mouth shut like a nice friend. Clearly Bam wanted to make himself look good in front of this guy…

Ville extended a pale hand out to you, which you shook. The words fell out of your mouth, “You’ve got soft hands.” He was all gentle touches, nothing like the high fives and pats on the back from the roughed up palms of your crew mates you were used to. That didn’t make it sound any less weird. Lips curling into a confused smile, he replied, “Oh, thank you, my dear…” Feeling the nagging need for clarity, you hurriedly added, “In a good way. I like ‘em!” Bam gaped like a stunned trout at your social bungling.

Politely excusing himself, Bam wadded up a handful of your tank top and yanked you outside the trailer, fumbling with the door. “What the fuck was that?!” Speaking through his teeth, he turned around and exaggeratedly gestured in the air, “‘You’ve got soft hands’- Who says that?” Stammering, you instinctively mirrored his flailing, “I don’t know! How the fuck should I know- I just said it!” You would’ve thought you had dropped your pants in front of the guy and told him to take you now with how Bam was reacting. “You don’t- that’s Ville fucking Valo!” “Who the hell is Ville Valo?”

Squawking the way a pair of old crones might, the two of you were too distracted to notice that the door never managed to get closed- in fact, the thing was wide open when Ville leaned out, listening with wry interest.

You would come to find out that he was on set because his band was touring, and apparently Ville is that cool, Finnish rockstar friend of Bam’s. This was a surprise, as you always assumed he was George Glassing you with that…He just sort of hung around idly, never really engaging. Standing off to one side, Ville would have looked more at home in some gothic Victorian courtyard with purple roses or some shit. Not sitting on a cheap lawn chair next to a cooler, moreso considering the fact that, mere feet away, Steve was showing off this new, inventive way to drink a beer.

“When I stopped by, I didn’t really expect so much, well-“ Cutting him off, Bam interjected, “Butt stuff?” Taking a sip of his beer, Ville shrugged, “Well, I assumed Americans would be more…averse to that sort of thing.” “Nah- nah, they like it. It’s funny!” A cool breeze blew across the hotel rooftop the cast was filming on. Even though you snook a few glances towards him, your attention was pretty squarely on the main event. Most women would be grossed out by this magnitude of anal fascination, but you weren't. However, the fact that you could stand on two feet was only for the fact that you were distracted by the obvious.

Leaning over, he kept his voice quiet as he covertly gestured to you, “That one. Tell me about her.” Taking a frothy swig, Bam didn’t spend too much time on the subject as he didn’t feel any obligation to be your wingman, “I dunno- she’s just…she’s Y/N. Always did her own thing, I guess. She doesn’t get caught up in shit like most chicks do.” Ville had an eye for art, and he found something oddly baroque about that scene in front of him. You were at the center of that landscape. “So,” changing the topic quickly, Bam fiddled with the label on the bottle in his grip, “y’wanna go grab drinks later?” Taking a drag of his cigarette, Ville briefly replied, “Bring your friend.”

It was as if Ville was Bam’s dad and this evening was his plot to introduce him to his new stepmom- at least, that’s how it looked from Bam’s end of the bar. He wasn’t totally third wheeling, but he felt that his rightfully earned attention was being stolen by you, the stuntgirl.

Smiling slyly, there was this understated grace to Ville’s every movement as he took a seat, even as he glanced you up and down, “I enjoy the cheetah print. Very striking.” Smiling, you pretended that you didn’t buy that dress from a secondhand store for tonight, as you didn’t own any nice, going-out clothes. “Aww, thanks! You look good too.” Believe it or not, that awkward compliment was your most bold social acquisition.

The thing that drew you in and pushed you away was that Ville was a civilized human being that didn’t urinate on his buddys’ legs at the bar and smelled like rosewood and Marlboro Lights instead of sweat and weed stink. You didn’t know how to talk to someone who would know sophistication if it hit them over their head. “So…I’ve heard you make music?” Bam cringed at having to witness this but, disarming as always, Ville humored your attempts at conversation.

Later in the evening, he excused himself to have a word with the band in between sets, slipping off to a dark corner of the bar and leaving you and Bam to chat amongst yourselves. “I can’t watch this…” feigning offense, you spat back, “Hey! If you care so much, why don’t you flirt with him instead?” You only said that because you knew it would get under Bam’s skin. Batting your eyelashes, you made kissy noises and mocked him in a high pitched falsetto, “Oh, Ville! Let’s run away to Finland together and suck eachother’s-“

Something caught your ear: this low, velvety murmur. Apparently, since the lead of the band knew who Ville was, they invited him to join them for a song or two. His voice rasped deliciously up your spine, and there was something in the way his eyes never seemed to leave yours that drew you in with this smoldering intensity. Rendered speechless, you smiled to yourself and murmured to nobody in particular, “I know you said he was a good singer, but damn…” Assuming Ville was singing to him, Bam sputtered as he was shaken out of his trance, “‘Pretty good’- this guy’s the best thing to happen to music!”

Whenever you were in proximity to Ville, you felt as if you were some bumbling teenage girl with her totally out of her league crush, unbeknownst to the fact he actually felt the same way with you. Yes you, the one with the cargo shorts, and the blotchy purple knees from too many falls, and the messy head of hair that’s missing a few chunks from when you got caught by the clipper cam. He liked you for the same reasons he liked Bam- you’re excitable and wild and everything Ville was not. As much as you harbored feelings for him, he held the same if not more; the only difference was the obvious gap of ability to conceal them.

He played it cool, but no matter where you were filming, Ville managed to drift over to whatever little corner of the set you were at. Presently, that corner was the medic tent. Somehow, as you sat on that deli paper covered table, caked in sweat and dirt, he found you even more beautiful than he did the previous evening when you were all dressed up. Glancing up from where you were icing a sprained wrist, you caught Ville's gaze just in time to make him stumble over his words. “I, uh- Bam told me you had a ‘gnarly’ injury.” Shaken by the idea he would visit you in the first place, you fought off a grin at how obvious his attempts at using your jargon were.

Clearing his throat, he sounded much more comfortable as he continued, “I stopped by to see if you were alright.” Your sore wrist was at the very background of your mind now; you were more concerned with how close he was to your slumped over body and how the elevation of where you sat forced you to meet his gaze. “Oh, uh- thanks! That’s really sweet…” Surprising only to you, the truth of this dynamic became apparent in the awkward silence that hung between you, either party too timid to say anything. However, there was an odd sort of satisfaction and maybe even comfort in seeing that he was equally as nervous as you.

“Well, if you’re not busy tonight,” breaking the silence, he quickly fished around in his pocket, retrieving two slips of paper, “I’ve got a show in the area. Perhaps Bam would like to come as well?” Chuckling to yourself at the notion that Ville was trying to use your friendship with him to get in your good graces, you responded with unfounded quickness, “Well…I think Bam’s busy. But I’m free…”

#him #jackass #ville valo #bam margera #him fanfic #him fanfiction #fluff #ville valo x reader

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sharp-silver4795 · 11 months ago

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Hello!! So I’m pretty sure you haven’t answered a question like this,, (I haven’t read that much of thine content .I’m sorry😔) so I’m just gonna ask

The goggle boys (Cody & Toby)(& yes I’d rather pull my own hair out than type ‘bois’ just seeing the word fills me with a kind of rage ) have more in common than their name; they both have incredibly, vastly different to each individual person, although it is much more common to see for Toby..😅

So uhh could you share with us their personalities in your au/headcanon please

🙏

Toby + Cody Personality HCs

Omg! Ofc! I haven’t gotten a lot of asks, and I don’t have many actual posts- most of them are reblogs XD

And uhhh sorry to break this to you, but I say “boi(s)” all the time 😅

I don’t think I need any warnings here-

Sorry if this isn’t great lol I suck at personalities

Cody

A cocky little shit, but not in a completely bad way-

He more just likes to humble people.

He’s a field proxy and tends to go out in more missions than the high proxy himself (Toby).

He has enough experience to make people look stupid, and he loves doing it just to have those embarrassing and awkward moments (for them).

If you’re on his good side, he’s a big goof.

His sense of humor doesn’t make any sense and that’s why it’s funny

He isn’t too short-fused, but if you push him too much get ready for the biggest verbal beat down of your life.

He’s really smart, ofc.

He is good at manipulating people. Whether he uses it for good or evil is up to him. He really doesn’t do it often tbh

He got the name X Virus from the first concoction he made that he called “Virus X.” It would late be called “the changing death” due to how it changes based on how people react to it and how it is administered.

He thinks he’s slick, but he never is- he’s clumsy as hell.

He’s really easy to get along with, but not in a boring way.

He’s an ok listener… he’s a little scatterbrained at times, but if you catch him on a good day or really drill to him that it’s serious he will give you his undivided attention.

Bud is a gentleman. Whether the other person is a man, woman, or anything in between he drinks all the respect juice.

Despite his charm and humor, he is socially awkward. He can’t talk to new people without making himself look like a whole entire fool.

Man likes to try to be an edge lord but will cry if he actually offends you

He is secretly a sweet summer child…

Toby

He is the happy medium between knowing what he’s capable of and humble at the same time.

Toby is surprisingly serious. His humor is either really fucking hilarious or just dry as hell.

He just isn’t good at making jokes verbally.

But he is good at making jokes when it requires action.

For example, he was practicing accuracy and precision with Kat (Kat uses a gun and he uses an axe- duh). Kat got full bullseye. Toby’s response was to hit the tip of the axe blade in the exact place that the bullet hit. He then comically bowed to him.

It was a good laugh for everyone. No one’s feelings were hurt.

He can’t read the room very well, so he has friends do it for him (namely Jeff and Clockwork) and explain it in simple words.

Before I say anything else, I do this IRL with my friends bc I can’t read the room. I don’t see this as calling Toby stupid or infantilizing him at all. This is something that I feel he would do just cuz… head cannons 🤷

Ok, back to head cannons-

He is chronically sleep deprived.

He’s a great listener. If you need to vent, he’s the perfect person to go to. (This is the main reason him and Cody are so close)

He takes shit from no one

While he’s on the job, he seems very cold and rude at times, but he just takes his job kinda seriously.

He is the kind of person that starts something, leaves it on the desk or smthn, and never comes back to finish it and then randomly in the day with just be like: “OH SHIT-”

Sorry if it’s not great, when ppl ask me for personality shit I’m always confused as to what to fucking say. Anyway-

Hope this was ok!!! Have a good day/night/whatever the fuck it is for you! 💜

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lovelyjasmari · 1 year ago

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Pomefiore Endnote - Perfectionism, Apathy and the True Tragedy of Book 5

Warning: Long post and pic heavy.

So…this is something of a continuation of my last twst reaction post, where I analyzed the Absolutely Beautiful dance video. I ended the post by saying that the true tragedy was not that NRC Tribe lost but that Vil could be convinced he was an inferior performer compared to Neige. Now I’m going to expand on that…in excruciating detail. XD

In all seriousness, though, I'm not really sure if I'd call this an analysis in the traditional sense. Maybe more like a long-winded rant based on canon observations. But all the same, I’ve been grappling with this for the last year and a half since when Book 6 first dropped in EN. I’ve wanted to share my thoughts for a long time but decided against it because I acknowledge how contentious this topic is in the fandom and I prefer to keep my online space as drama-free as possible. I also didn’t want anyone to get the idea I’m attacking others when at most, I’m just being critical.

But with the new story update imminent and it looking like it will be Pomefiore-centric, I’ve come to the realization that if I don’t share this soon, I never will. My timing is admittedly ass but I think it would be worse if I share this AFTER the update and you’re about to understand why.

So before we dive in, disclaimer. This is going to cover the end of Book 5 and the first few chapters of Book 6 and my in-depth opinions on both. There will be mentions of trauma/mental illness and some very blunt (but honest) Rook criticism. But please keep in mind, that while I have my own interpretation of the twst characters and their respective arcs, I am not Yana and ultimately, my opinions are just that. Opinions. Everything I say is subjective at best but a lot of what’s coming up is based on a blend of canon observations as well as my own specific, personal experiences as someone with very similar life experiences as Vil and has been dancing for most of her life.

Still, these are just opinions and I have no intention to offend anyone. But if you don’t like reading negative things about Rook or take issue with this general way of thinking, I HIGHLY advise you to ignore this and respectfully (or quietly) agree that we disagree.

When I wrote the greater bulk of this, it was around when Book 6 dropped in EN. A year has passed since then and I’ve had time to think more about my opinions here and, to a greater extent, how I feel about Book 5. This may sound strange but I feel that Book 5 is both the best and worst part of twst’s main story to date. I really like how it touched upon something that isn’t really isn’t talked about much; how we as a society both admire beauty but also vilify it. Vil’s primary dilemma is how he is wrongfully villainized for his beauty, wealth, and harsh personality, despite subverting expectations of cruelty at every turn. Ironically, when the fandom mischaracterizes him as vain, cruel, classist, racist and the like, they are falling into that same literary trap. Proving the point of his arc.

And as much as I hated the ending from an emotional point of view, I actually love it as well, ironically for reasons that might not have been intentional. What I hated, mostly, was the fandom’s response. There was a great opportunity here for some deep discussion regarding society’s views on beauty, how constant trauma causes us to internalize false perceptions of ourselves, and the rather fascinating/dangerous dynamic Vil has with his vice dorm leader. Instead, any interesting discourse has been lost in all the misinterpretations of Vil. To the point I wonder if we all actually read the same story. I’m disappointed in the fandom, but somehow not surprised either.

But regardless, Rook’s actions were extremely disquieting but not for the reasons you might think. There was nothing wrong with his decision but the way he went about it and how he (and Vil) tried to justify it really left such a nasty taste in my mouth and I gotta talk about it to get it out.

First I just want to commend Vil for his level of maturity and rationality regarding his overblot. Even when it was happening, not once has he tried to justify his actions and in fact it was his own guilt at his potential wrongdoing that ultimately caused it. His fear that in a brief, desperate attempt to be seen as not a monster, he became exactly that. Throughout Book 5, it is implied that Vil already sees himself as a villainous person and internalizes that image of himself almost with pride. But despite this false perception, his actions have always proven the opposite and it’s clear that Vil has always valued being altruistic, determined and just. And his guilt when he failed to meet his own standards was beyond compare.

I feel that this guilt sets Vil apart from the other overblots thus far. Most importantly, he apologized of his own volition and wasn’t forced to. That alone makes him stand out among the overblot characters and, to my mind, makes him the most compelling of them all. If I’m being completely honest, out of all those who have overblotted thus far, Vil has been the LEAST problematic even before his overblot. And the one instance where Vil displayed any “cruelty” beforehand is EXTREMELY subjective. (his treatment of Epel) But the fact that Vil has been the least problematic overblot student so far also makes him the most tragic. And makes what’s about to happen next all the more disturbing.

Interestingly enough, Jamil is correct about this but for the wrong reason and here comes the first point. There was no indication that the audience was anything but enthralled with NRC Tribe. And if Vil or any of the others made significant mistakes, because of Vil’s fame, I’m certain they would have been pointed out by magicam netizens. With the recent release of the Absolutely Beautiful mv over on twst jp, we now also have a visual to go off from.

I talk about this more in a previous post but basically, yes, NRC Tribe’s performance wasn’t perfect, but based on what I saw, I would have expected A LOT worse considering the circumstances. The fact is all evidence points to the NRC boys giving a wonderful performance made all the more remarkable by the fact they were still able to perform after dealing with Vil’s OB not too long before. And the audience clearly thought so too if they were only one vote away from victory.

To add to this point, when the other characters comment on the NRC Tribe’s performance, they make no mention of any noticeable errors. And when Crowley laments their defeat later, again, there’s no mention of any errors. Considering that Ambrose was pretty pretentious about RSA winning, I'm sure he’d mention that, too.

Even further, one thing you learn from being on stage is that your audience rarely notices mistakes unless they are extremely obvious. You, as the performer, might notice, but you quickly learn not to draw attention to your errors and keep it moving. Now of course, the NRC characters could be biased because they want to defeat RSA. But considering the nature of a lot of them, I doubt they would lie so flagrantly. Especially Jack who is pretty no-nonsense even with the people he likes. And Malleus who seems pretty difficult to impress. So if their commentaries are to be believed, this shows that any errors made by the NRC Tribe were not noticeable.

That Vil would think otherwise speaks to something far deeper and far more insidious. Stick a pin in that; we’ll come back to it soon enough.

Vil then goes on to explain to the boys that Neige and his friends worked just as hard and had their own struggles. That Neige grew up in an improvised environment and had to juggle acting obligations with household chores and helping out the dwarves. Again, it is extremely commendable that Vil is able to acknowledge this about this rival. It shows that his contempt for Neige was never as simple as “boo hoo people think he’s more beautiful than me” and he at least respects Neige’s efforts even if this explanation once again falls flat.

Firstly, narratively speaking it doesn’t make sense that Vil is just finding out about Neige’s backstory now (likely from Rook) because I feel like he should already be aware. In fact, all through Book 5, I thought that he did know but didn’t care. Honestly, Neige’s backstory shouldn’t matter to Vil anyway and surprisingly, it’s Ace of all people who explains why.

Neige’s struggles might matter to his fans but at the end of the day if Neige cannot perform better than Vil, then that’s his own fault. There are many artists out there who have to deal with similar struggles but come out as phenomenal performers and yet Neige’s “best” basically consists of the twst equivalent of this meme. Precious, but cannot compare to all the sweat and tears Vil and his team were put through.

There’s actually an interesting analysis floating around this hellsite about how Neige’s childish performance was actually an incredibly manipulative tactic and could have been intentional if he were a different character. I’m not gonna link it cause I don’t want to bring any heat to the op. But I will say that while I don’t think Neige intended to manipulate the audience with his cuteness, in the end, it did indeed work in his favor. And the fact that Vil thought to train Epel to weaponize his cuteness to defeat Neige indicates that he’s already no stranger to seeing such underhanded tactics in the industry he works in. In his beansday vignette, Vil mentions an actor he initially admired destroying one of his stage outfits. If Neige weren’t presented as so naive and twisted from a traditionally “good” character, his choice regarding his performance could be regarded as deliberate. Which is why Vil lamented that he and his team had been “outplayed”.

Back on topic, what I took away from this was that, once again, Vil’s hard work and determination count for nothing because of things he cannot control. Because he was born to wealth, because he didn’t have the same hardships, he doesn’t deserve the same consideration or sympathy as Neige. And his wealth and beauty once again put him in the position of villain to Neige’s hero. It’s a textbook case very common in media, like Sharpay opposing Gabriella in High School Musical. But what’s worse is that from all that we’ve seen of Vil, he could coast on his wealth, beauty and father's fame if he wanted to.

Instead, he chooses to work hard and have his accomplishments come from his own merit. When anyone else in his situation could easily choose the opposite. And just from a personal standpoint, if I practiced day and night for a dance competition and ended up losing to someone under my level simply because they were cute and disenfranchised, I would feel extremely insulted. At the end of the day, Ace is correct and whatever struggles Neige and his team had, they were still inferior performers.

And to add to this point, I believe that at some point Vil KNEW this even AFTER his OB. Despite his earlier anguish at never being able to perform innocent cuteness like his rival, once his mind was clearer, he was able to see that NRC Tribe’s performance was still technically better. He was able to see how the audience responded to Neige and still believed in himself as a better performer. I say this based on another scene earlier in book 5.

Vil was undoubtedly in a very emotionally vulnerable place right after his overblot. He went to great lengths to conceal the aftereffects before going on stage to the point he collapsed as soon as he was alone. After going so long trying to hide them, his darkest, ugliest emotions were laid bare to his teammates and to himself. Manifesting in the worst way possible. And as a professional performer, if any errors were made, he would have been painfully aware of them.

And yet, despite having just dealt with the darkest moment of his life, Vil was still able to stand upon the stage until the very end and give the best performance he could. Against all odds, before a world that has wrongfully perceived him as evil and hideous for most of his life.

And despite knowing that Neige possesses all that he never can, it is strongly implied that Vil still chooses to vote for his own team. Meaning he saw the appeal in Neige’s performance and STILL knew that he did better. And I’d like to believe that even if Vil was aware of Neige’s backstory, he would have still made the same decision. It’s easy to be beautiful when everything is right and perfect in your world. But being able to smile even when you’re struggling and your heart is breaking is even more beautiful still.

Sadly, Vil isn’t likely to realize this anytime soon and will continue to see his own mental struggles as not as valid or “ugly.” Now back to that original pin of thought, Vil will likely continue to believe that he didn’t deserve to win the VDC despite all evidence to the contrary. He’s likely to continue internalizing the false villainous image of himself as well. And for that we now must get to the crux of this matter.

At first glance, this statement doesn’t seem like much but when you look deeper, and look back at some of Rook’s own actions, this comes off as incredibly hypocritical and cruel. As we have seen from Vil’s backstory, he has dealt with untold hardships as well. But Vil’s anguish is more internalized than Neige’s and it’s very unlikely that he has ever really been open about how dehumanizing and hurtful his treatment has been.

And from an outsider’s perspective, his problems aren’t as dire anyway. It’s just like Vil said, his life has been quite different from Neige’s. But mental trauma doesn’t know demographics and can affect anyone. The fact is what Vil has gone through is extremely traumatizing and comes from nothing beyond people wrongfully vilifying him for his beauty. Projecting their insecurities onto him from a very young age. It’s clear that what Vil has dealt with has fundamentally altered how he sees himself.

But at the same time, what do you think would happen if Vil WAS more open about his frustrations? The dehumanizing effect and the bullying? The typecasting and prejudice thrown his way? And the feeling that nothing he does will ever be enough to break free from his villainous mold? What would happen if Vil were to be open about ANY of that? He would be mocked and shamed and perceived as shallow, petty and crying about nothing. Lowkey how many in the fandom already see Vil anyway. We as a society sadly don’t take mental illness as seriously as we should but when celebrities deal with it? It quickly becomes meme fodder and nowhere is this more obvious than on stan twitter. We are all guilty of feeding into it, whether we’re honest about it or not.

Ironically, Vil’s mental struggles is one of the things that would make him more “relatable.” But the truth is that people would never accept that because society has a long history of trivializing the mental issues of celebrities because they seem so far removed from normal people. And then being surprised pikachu faced when they do something drastic to themselves. So Vil internalizes all of it because he knows he can’t be open about it.

A person like him simply can’t be open about his hardships but HERE is the kicker: neither can Neige. He also has an image of perfection to uphold so it is likely he is also internalizing mental struggles of his own. Living and caring for seven others can’t be easy in addition to trying to grow his career. And if his deeper origins are anything like his Disney counterpart, how he came to live with the dwarves must have been traumatic as well.

But here’s the difference: from Rook’s perspective, he is “better” at internalizing those ugly emotions than Vil is. After all, Neige is able to overcome all his struggles and still smile and not give hints to them, but when Vil finally buckled under all of his own trauma, we see what happened.

There’s also the fact that since Rook and Neige attend different schools, Rook doesn’t have as close a seat to any of Neige’s more personal troubles. So it’s likely easier for Rook to project his own ideas of beauty onto Neige because from his perspective, he is perfect. He is beautiful. He is pure. Like the legendary singing princess Rook so reveres. He isn’t plagued with any of the ugly emotions that caused Vil to overblot. And if Neige DOES have ugly feelings or ugly trauma responses, Rook isn’t privy to them, so they clearly must not exist.

I genuinely believe that THIS is what Rook meant when he stated Vil’s performance wasn’t as beautiful as Neige’s. I know he mentions another reason at the end of book 5 but in my mind, they are both one and the same. Whatever technical difficulties NRC Tribe had, they were still polished enough to garner enough votes that it was only Rook’s flawed ideology that sealed their fate. And throughout book 5, Rook is hinted at being aware of Vil’s internal struggles and yet still chose to stay silent. He frequently saw that Vil was struggling but tried to justify his silence by saying it wasn’t his place to interfere.

But that is also untrue because we’ve seen time and again Rook is more than willing to stick his nose in Vil’s businesses. His labwear vignette is the most obvious example but there are plenty of others. In Book 6 Rook admits that his decision to go to the Isle of Woe was fully a selfish one. Leaving Pomefiore without leadership and potentially falling into chaos (the only dorm to have no clear leadership at all during the crisis) simply because he wanted to give Vil skin products that he really didn’t need. A few days without them wouldn’t do that much harm and Rook essentially placed Epel, Yuu and himself in great danger for a reason far more shallow than anything Vil has done in the name of beauty.

He also admits that he would have been willing to drink the poisoned juice Vil gave to Neige for again, a pretty shallow (and extremely twisted) reason. If he’s willing to do that, he is more than capable of intervening in other matters on Vil’s behalf. And later in book 6, it’s revealed that Rook was originally a Savannaclaw student but made the very unprecedented decision to transfer to Pomefiore in part due to his fascination with Vil and desire to further study beauty under him. So Rook had EVERY opportunity to step in regarding his overblot. Even if Rook couldn’t be his “savior”, the fact that Vil would see that he at least had support could have gone a long way.

But Rook’s silence is rather in keeping with his character and his own ideas about beauty. I find this quote very ironic based on how he and Vil are frequently misconstrued. The Pomefiore dorm leaders' views on beauty appear to be the opposite of each other.

Vil can be extremely strict, harsh and can come off as critical at times, but he is never harder on someone than he is himself. He has shown time and again that he sees beautiful potential in anyone. And Vil is more than willing to share the spotlight with his NRC Tribe; build them up from scratch and give each of them the chance to show off their potential. Likely because he knows all too well what it means to be in the shadow of someone else.

Even further, when we look at the dichotomy of a villain versus a hero, the main difference is how they respond to their personal pain. A villain takes their pain and says “the world hurt me so I’m gonna hurt the world”. While a hero says “the world hurt me and I’m not going to let it hurt others”. Up until his overblot, Vil has been the latter of these examples. He wants the best for those around them and while his methods might be difficult to understand, they always bear results. Vil can honestly see beauty in anything, even if he has to coax it out in his own way.

Rook’s views on beauty however, all seem to be based upon the superficial and the evidence can be found in his Halloween vignette. There, he explains further how he grew to adore Neige and based on what he said, it sounded more like obsession than actual reverence. There’s also hints to this in his most recent birthday vignette as well. His ideas seem to be very fantastical, far removed from reality and so obsessive to the point that it actually affects his ability to be a good person. Such an obsession can sometimes make people oblivious to the world and in Rook’s case, often cause him to act out in ways that border on problematic.

In his fixation, he stalks Leona and Jade, says some weirdly otherist shit to Malleus, harasses and assaults Ruggie, and places ridiculously high standards on both Vil AND Neige that rob them of their humanity. Rook saw firsthand how deeply Vil’s insecurities ran. He heard Vil cry and scream out how ugly he felt. He saw Vil’s anguish and despair firsthand and seeing all that, still chose to punish him because Vil’s lack of confidence made him unable to respond to his trauma in a beautiful way. Or at least in a way he could deem as beautiful based on his vapid description of the word.

Rook will likely never be privy to any ugliness Neige has displayed so for him, the fantasy remains intact. And in chasing that fantasy, he betrays not just Vil, but his other teammates as well. Then has the audacity to try to justify it with bullshit ideology and sadly, because of Vil’s low opinion of himself, Rook succeeds. Vil holds Rook’s opinion so highly that he is able to take advantage of that and compel him (and the others) to see his point of view. And believe it or not, in chasing that fantasy, the NRC Tribe members were not the only ones Rook hurt.

Neige might have been happy to have won but he was essentially rewarded for an inferior performance and robbed of an important lesson. One far more valuable than any “lesson” Vil had to learn. As mentioned before, even with all of his hardships, if what we saw in book 5 was the best Neige could do, that still means he is not as good a performer as Vil. If cuteness, nostalgia and warm fuzzy feels are the only thing Neige can offer, he could easily find himself struggling to remain in the entertainment industry as he ages. Not unlike many other former child stars in real life.

Losing the VDC could have been a major wake-up call to Neige that if he wants to continue acting, he has to do better. People might not take him seriously when he’s still doing the cutesy bullshit ten years from now. But because he won, this will likely never cross his mind. Neige will learn nothing.

Now before anyone begins writing up their comments about how Vil verbally stated that Rook was right, I’d like to bring up one final point: Vil agreeing with Rook was another trauma response. Internalizing Rook’s response because it is so in keeping with all he has been made to believe about himself, about Neige, and how it has all now been “confirmed” by his overblot. From his point of view, Rook has no reason to lie to him.

But just because Vil states that Rook was correct, does not mean that it’s true. Despite being one of the more positive characters in the game and being twisted from a “good” character, Rook is just as morally grey as everyone else in the twst cast and just as capable of dubiousness. And this would not be the first time something like this has occurred between Vil and Rook. Once again, I bring up Vil’s labwear vignette. Particularly this exchange here:

Okay, so beyond the general tactlessness of telling Vil he’s gaining weight in spite of knowing how such a statement would affect him, what Rook is basically suggesting to him is that he cannot trust anyone but him. Not even his own senses. That for all of his perceptiveness, Vil is incapable of seeing himself accurately. Though he initially does not believe it, Vil eventually does accept Rook’s statement despite knowing it was bullshit twenty seconds before.

Later on, Vil mentions to Trey that Rook’s only crime is being too blunt and perceptive. It’s true that having another point of view is important at times, but the level of trust Vil has in Rook’s opinion can also be dangerous if he can convince Vil to doubt himself so easily. Theirs is an interesting dynamic but it also has potential to be extremely toxic and detrimental to Vil. At best, Rook gives him useful insight and pushes him to be the best he can be. But at worst, Rook contributes to Vil’s insecurities, enables his more toxic tendencies and his fawning of Neige feeds into his obsession to be the fairest one of all in the worst way possible. Rook can’t be completely oblivious to this. It would be such an easy thing for him to take advantage of Vil’s doubt in himself and value/dependency on his opinion.

Which is exactly what Rook does. As much flack Vil gets in this fandom for being critical and harsh to others, he never criticizes someone harder than he will criticize himself. This is a person who has grown up in the spotlight and has had to maintain an image of perfection for most of his life. A person who gave up one of his favorite condiments because of the damage it caused to his skin. A person who has so deeply internalized the villainous image people have projected on him that he wears it almost as a badge of honor. And because he holds himself to such a high standard and already internalizes a lot of toxic beliefs about himself, it makes perfect sense that Vil would agree with Rook. In his current way of thinking, Vil has no reason to disagree with Rook because from his point of view, Rook has always been honest to him and his overblot already proved he was unworthy of victory anyway.

Of course Vil must be gaining weight. How could he possibly be objective regarding himself? How vain he must be. And how could Vil possibly be objective regarding his VDC performance and still vote for himself after such an ugly trauma response? He can’t trust his judgment, he can’t even trust his own senses. How arrogant and pathetic Vil must be if he can still vote for himself in good conscience after witnessing the pure wholesomeness of Neige Leblanche. Someone who would never overblot. Thankfully, he has Rook to humble that arrogance and tell him what he needs to know. Even if he’s tactless about it.

I mean, Vil literally ran looking for a scale immediately after Rook’s comments on his weight. He probably added an extra hour to his daily workout routine the morning after eating the cake Trey gave him. I don’t believe that Rook is completely oblivious of Vil’s darker feelings, just as Vil has stated, he keeps too close an eye on him not to be oblivious. And he was astute enough to keep his infatuation with Neige a secret from Vil for nearly two years. This had to have been intentional. It honestly makes me wonder what Rook thinks of Vil on a more personal level.

But regardless, the fact is, Rook was always going to vote for Neige and his explanation at the end of Book 5 was always going to be his reasoning. Vil’s overblot just gave him a more “legitimate” reason to do so. For whatever reverence he holds for Vil, it was never going to trump his reverence for Neige. The fact he brought all of his Neige photos with him to the training camp further implies that he was never going to be objective in this situation. And seeing Vil almost poison Neige probably further convinced him that Vil was undeserving of victory.

That may make Rook seem duplicitous considering how positive and sincere he seems to be, but he’s still human. And truthfully, him voting for his bias is not an inherently bad thing. What makes him inconsiderate in this situation is openly telling Vil he prefers the catalyst for all his insecurities and overblot, while Vil was still grieving and in a very vulnerable place. Then justifying his decision as the correct one based on his own personal preferences, weaponizing that vulnerability to avoid being called out. Knowing that Vil wasn’t likely going to object.

Even if NRC Tribe did win, it’s very likely Rook would have still brought up his vote to Vil and still convinced him it was undeserved. I would even go so far as to argue that Rook’s remarks about Neige early on in book 5 as well as Vil’s labwear vignette foreshadow the ending of book 5/start of book 6 far more than the fact that the huntsman betrayed the evil queen in the original Snow White.

That coupled with a perfectionist like Vil looking back at their less-than-perfect performance is what compelled him to agree with Rook. If we take into account the idea that Vil still chose to vote for his own team afterwards, Rook’s actions and words probably further pushed him into believing in the idea of his inherent villainy and inferiority to Neige. After all, surely Neige Leblanche would never be reduced to such a hideous state. His heart is too pure, the fairest one of all and as different from Vil as night and day.

If left to his own devices without Rook to influence him, Vil might not be so hard on himself in this case and would resent his defeat more. As he has every right to. But instead, Vil agreed with what was easiest and what made most sense based on everything that has happened in his life and all that he has been made to believe about himself. Why should he continue protesting when no one else will?

Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen of Vil’s tenacity, excellence and kindness. Why should he believe that he is the most beautiful one of all when Mira frequently tells him the opposite? Why should he believe in his own noble spirit when people openly say it’s not enough and that he’s not relatable enough to be a hero? Why shouldn’t he believe he is hideous when the entire world says it’s so? When even a large majority of this very fucking fandom mischaracterize him as such and agree with Rook anyway?

Why should Vil question any of this?

And Vil will sadly continue to be second to Neige and will likely never question it. He will continue to internalize the toxic dichotomy between him and Neige and again, why shouldn’t he? After all, Vil is the evil queen to Neige’s Snow White, the Sharpay to his Gabriella, the Odile to his Odette. And Neige is the Madonna to Vil’s whore. Vil is not supposed to be the hero in this story and not even his trusted vice dorm leader has faith in him.

In discourse regarding the end of book 5, I’ve often heard it said that this was a “lesson” Vil had to learn in order to become a better person. I believe there was indeed a lesson to be learned from this, but not the one that many think. Since Vil knew from the beginning that trying to poison Neige was wrong, he didn’t need to learn how to play fair like Leona.

Despite being a harsh leader, Vil was generally always fair with his teammates and again, as a former dancer, the way Vil instructed the NRC Tribe members seemed tame compared to some of the dance teachers I’ve had in the past. So learning to be less tyrannical wasn’t the lesson to learn either, like with Riddle. And part of what led to his overblot was realizing that NRC Tribe had been “outplayed” by Neige’s cuteness. But he still had enough faith in his ability to vote for his own team, so learning not to be manipulative wasn’t really needed either, like with Azul.

No, the lesson for Vil here is that hard work is rarely ever rewarded fairly. And that his trauma is not valid because he was blessed in a way that Neige was not. He must always take second place to him because of his blessings while simultaneously ALWAYS being perfect. And because of his blessings, he can never express ugly emotions, he can never express anguish, and he must always, ALWAYS, take his mistreatment in stride. And God forbid if Vil DOES respond to his trauma in an ugly manner, he WILL be punished for it. He will ALWAYS be punished for it and by those closest to him no less.

If Vil doesn’t like how they’ve treated him in his darkest hour, tough titties. It’s all his fault for not hiding his trauma to begin with. And he doesn’t even have the right to a moment to himself to cry.

But that is where my analysis ends. Honestly this was kind of painful to write because it has made me fully realize just how much I’ve grown to disdain Rook after adoring him for so long. You all have no idea how hard I was hoping he would have some scrap of redemption in book 6. It’s really upsetting that so many people in this fandom look down on Vil or mischaracterize him but somehow don’t notice the glaring red flags in his dynamic with his vice dorm leader.

Honestly, when I think about it, the ending of Book 5 is actually kind of brilliant, even if it’s also emotionally sadistic and lacking in other aspects. I'm not sure if that was Yana’s intention, but the fact that so many in the fandom tend to see Rook as the kinder one compared to Vil is very telling.

Now I’m not saying that Vil is absolutely without flaws, Heaven knows he has many. As does every person in the twst cast. Vil is impulsive, domineering, harsh, difficult to please, overwhelming at times and extremely complex. But he is also helpful, perceptive, intelligent, genuinely kind and wants the best for those around him. Not for his own glory but for their own happiness and well-being. He is also clearly a deeply misunderstood and insecure young man, so I guess because of Vil’s faults, it’s “easier” to mischaracterize him.

As for me, I find Vil’s character all the more compelling in spite of his harshness because I can see in him a true understanding of beauty that is both profound and attainable by anyone. If we are brave enough to behold it.

#twisted wonderland #jas reads twst #long post #twst book 5 #twst book 6 #twst vil #vil schoenheit #pomefiore #shut up jas

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sinvulkt · 6 months ago

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Fanfic writer interview

tagged by: @purple-iris

Thank you for the tag, i love those!!

what fandoms do you write in? So many! Star Wars, Dr. Strange, Dream SMP, Avatar the last airbender... and this year I wrote several one shot for the movie The Count Of Montecristo 2024 (it's currently in US theaters and an amazing movie, go see it!!) and the tv serie Nautilus (misadvantures of a crew of misfit led by Captain Nemo. Yes the jules verne one. It's like a gathering of whump and angst trope, I advise it!!)

how many words have you published in 2024?Wow that's hard to calculate! Since I have some WIPs over several years, i can’t use AO3 function xd. Plus I translated a lot of my work this year, which artificially double the written amount. AO3 says 230k words, I'm honestly too lazy to count the true number, but I'd say it's between 50k and 100k.

what is your greatest achievement this year? I finished my first longfic, Dreamt of a Never Ending Sky!! It's 56k word and I began it three years ago. This was the end of a long road but it feel so satisfying to have reached it's closing point. 🎶

what are your top three fics you've written this year? Hard choice. Mhhh...

🪽 The Caucasian Eagles serie - bcs adding wings to the montecristo universe and brainstorming around it with fandom friends was an amazing experience.

🪽 Do Sea Monsters Dream of Pink Shellfishes? — I honestly love all the nautilus fanfic i wrote bcs this serie has so many fic whump and angst potential to play with. But i was particularly fond of that one because "becoming a monster" trope, plus I got attached to eel!Nemo I can't help it xd.

🪽 Unhinged Vaderkin Prompt Collection — it's more a snippet-prompt collection for all the ideas roaming in my head, but there are so many that it feel very satisfying to share them. And it does make me write a short snippet for each universe which is a fun exercice.

what was your biggest pit of despair moment? I have been in a writing hiatus for two months now, and haven't written much compared to last year >.> But I guess it's a necessary rest.

what have you learned? Unrelatedly, instead of writing I drew quite a bit. So i learnt that I actually can draw! With the help of a tablet xd. (I did make good use of that break time to read delicious stories :3.) Please check my drawing account @sinvulkt-art , it needs some love :3.

did you beta any fics? any faves you want to shout out? I beta-ed lot of fics! This year, mostly the ones of my co-writers for The Caucasian Eagles and in the Nautilus fandom.

what three fics have you read this year that you love? That choice is so hard because there are so many great fics out there. Can't I make it five? XD.

Nemesis by MorallyGrey ( @silverinkgoldenquill )

I try to live in the now… Where the ghosts of old wrongs do not abide." Nemo turned his back on the past for a long time, perhaps for too long. Now, snatched from his own ship, he has little choice but to work for a man whom he long thought, and wished to be dead. His only hope is the League, but that means uncovering dark secrets. Secrets that, some would say, should have remained unearthed… (A Sequel to the LXG 2003 Movie)- Minor edits 2024. 180k words.

From the Ashes by renegade_of_theworld ( @renegadeoftheworld )

The story took a different turn after the Siege of the North when Zuko was captured by the Water Tribe.

A lot of prisoner trope, found families, and not-adoptions... And Zuko having to deal with more trauma than in the canon. 480k words.

Body in Abyss, Heart in Abyss by Emerald_sealin

WARNING: Heavy Book 4 and 5 SPOILERS.

For 800 years Xie Lian fought for what he believed was right. He endured centuries of unearned torment, shouldered responsibilities bigger than he was, no matter what was thrown at him Xie Lian took it, Xie Lian bore it, Xie Lian soldiered on.

Until the final battle on Mount Tonglu, when Xie Lian looses for the last time.

And forgives....for the last time.

Finally, the god of Xianle will have his REVENGE! 59k words.

Not a fic, but I really wanna shout out to the webnovel & novel Omniscient Reader which I discovered one month ago and obsolutely broke my heart. I love it so much. It begin as such an ordinary story, but reaching its end sure make you think a lot and destroy you. Then the side story exist to crush whatever remain of your heart.

(I want to punch the narrator so much. Me wanting to punch the mc generally is a very good thing. It means they are an idiotTM. A very infuriating, smirking, wrong decision-maker, punchable idiot. It's amazing)

what ideas are percolating for next year? Advancing on my other WIPs and finishing as many of them as I can (namely finishing The Monster and the Child, advancing On the Edge of Twilight and What If Dr Strange Lost His Humanity)! And translating more one shot in french to boost a bit french fanfics I think.

who do you want to thank? Another hard question there XD. All my fandom buddies I think bcs stories are much more entertaining with people to engage with, all my mutuals, and all the people I keep tagging (harassing? XD) on tumblr for such games (hopefully you find them fun as well :3). Can't really quote everyone here, but @sarcasticfirefighter for welcoming me in the dr strange world a few years ago, @firejay112 bcs i had my best time in star wars as her beta, @tocacot who patiently support all my wild blabbering about omniscient reader... I was also overjoyed to collaborate with @ash--00 , @azzzryel and Enepfopi this year. I never really forgot my collaboration with @purpleopossum either. I am seriously impressed by @fanfictasia going through the wildly long list of prompt I gave them years ago (i know i'm super late to comment on them but you're doing great 💜). Additionally I want to thank @pat-the-togorian , @asteral-feileacan and the other taaoej gals for being great friends (and rpg buddies) :3.

Finally, let's say thanking the world for being alive XD and bcs i'm a very lucky person who got a phd I love.

More importantly, I wanna thank all the creators for creating, wether it be inside fandom or for original content. Never stop bringing new things into this world!! Even if you think everyone will hate it. We never know who will come to love and live thanks to our story~

tagging: all the people mentioned before who want to join (yes, even if you were randomly mentioned as a fic writer or as thanks), anyone who see this and want to join, as well as: @kuraiarcoiris @udekai @aimportantdragoncollector @threebea @beguilewritesstuff @numerousbees1106 @trickstress333 @exomal @thehappybaker @wendingways @cinderfeather @bluntblade @tramp-fiction @starmahgalaxies @tonhalszendvics @retciwrites @vandervoiz @insertmeaningfulusername @pebblish @linzerj @doctorgeekery @dreaminghour @silvereddaye @chickadeechickadoo @25centsoda @silvercaptain24 @insecateur @allen-kunekune @dragonnan @charlottevader @makaronik @wyvunn @in-company-of-misery @starr234 @lialox @attackfish @chrisis-averted @gasmeros

#random people i tagged you may not remember me but if i tagged you it means #that i've read your fics and loved it #and wouldn’t mind knowing you more :3 #(or just having random fun on tumblr like this xd)#well this was a very long interview XD #now your turn!!#longpost #tumblr game #tumblr games #tag games #fanfic writer interview #tag game

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