#so now that’s what I’m doing for all 3 dark souls games
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Sweet Delusion🌙
Lucifer x fem!reader
Tw: Gore, burning alive, angst, Violence
God's Game
Chapter 2 < Chapter 3 > Chapter 4
Story begin under the cut
Guilt consumed him, an unrelenting storm within.
The hatred he bore for himself was blinding, a corrosive force eating at his core.
You reminded him so much of her. Her voice, her defiance, her fragility. Yet you were a Sinner. That much was undeniable. There was a reason you were here, in Hell. You had taken his gift—perverted it—used it to cause harm.
His hatred for Sinners, compounded by the agonizing loss of his wife, had overtaken him. It had twisted him so deeply that he had nearly killed you.
But in his darkest moments, one truth clawed at the edges of his mind: he was no better than any soul condemned to Hell.
Lucifer’s crimson eyes shifted to your unconscious body. Guilt seared his throat, sharp and relentless. Swallowing felt like choking on fire, his very existence trembling beneath the weight of his shame. The image of you sprawled on the floor, engulfed in flames—his flames—was burned into his memory.
He’d almost killed you.
For God’s sake, he’d nearly wiped you out of existence. The hatred he’d felt was gone now, eclipsed by something far more unbearable. When he looked at you, all he saw was her. The ghost of her face haunted yours, but there was a difference that tore at him.
You tried.
You had tried to reach him, to understand the rift between you. You hadn’t run, hadn’t abandoned him like the others. And what had he done? He’d unleashed his wrath upon you. He clawed at his own hair in anguish, the memories creeping back like venom through his veins.
He was the Devil, after all. The King of Hell.
The door creaked open, revealing Belphegor, her purple eyes shadowed with grim purpose. Behind her were Angel and Charlie, their faces pale and silent. Lucifer’s gaze met his daughter’s, but she refused to look at him.
“We have a problem,” Belphegor said, her voice like broken glass in the silence. The air grew heavy as everyone waited for her to continue.
She pointed toward you, still and fragile, wrapped in bloodstained bandages. “Y/n’s body is fighting for survival. Something in her has triggered... something dark. She’s using her own ability to destroy herself.”
Lucifer stiffened. What?
The room collectively held its breath. Charlie, the beacon of hope, crumpled beside your bed, her hands trembling. “There must be a way to save her!” she pleaded, her voice cracking with desperation.
Belphegor laughed bitterly, her grin devoid of humor. “There is. But it’s not simple. We need to understand why she’s doing this—why she wants to end herself so badly.”
Charlie’s face brightened with a fragile flicker of hope. “How? How do we figure that out?”
Belphegor’s eyes darkened into endless voids as she turned sharply toward Lucifer. “There’s only one who can do it. Him. He’s the only one who can enter Y/n’s mind and uncover the truth.”
The room erupted. Angel stepped forward, his fury palpable. “No! I won’t let that monster near her again! Not in her mind!”
Belphegor’s voice dropped, her tone chilling. “Would you rather let her die?”
Angel faltered, his protest caught in his throat.
“Then shut up,” she hissed. “Lucifer is the only one capable. He’ll do it. Or she’s gone forever.”
After a long, tension-filled silence, Lucifer sat heavily beside your bed. His hands trembled as he placed them on your fragile frame. “I’m sorry, Y/n,” he whispered. A soft glow enveloped you both as Lucifer’s eyes darkened, pulling him into the abyss of your mind.
_____
It was dark.
You were terrified.
The endless void stretched around you as you fell, powerless and weightless, for what felt like hours. Was this death? Was this the final punishment?
Your body ached as though you were splintering apart from the inside. Memories flashed before your eyes—fire licking at your skin, the unbearable agony of being burned alive. The screams ripped from your throat until you thought your voice was gone forever.
Your hand lifted weakly, and you saw it: flames dancing across your skin, devouring you. A voice echoed in your mind, venomous and cruel: “You’re a disgrace. Who would ever love you?”
The words hurt more than the fire, searing through your soul. You hadn’t wanted to hurt anyone. You’d tried to be good, but you had failed, hadn’t you? You were poison.
The pain surged, and you closed your eyes, wishing for it to end.
Then a blinding light erupted before you.
“Kitty!” The voice was familiar—Lucifer’s. His tone held a desperation that made you hesitate.
You reached toward the light but froze. Was he here to hurt you again? To finish what he started?
The light condensed into a silhouette, and Lucifer appeared, his wings outstretched as he caught you in an instant. His hands, cool and steady, dispelled the fire on your skin, though the pain lingered deep inside.
“I took the flames away,” he said, his voice breaking. “Why are you still hurting?”
Your laughter was bitter, a broken sound. “Because I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere.”
Lucifer’s scarlet eyes widened, anguish etched into his face. “Don’t say that. Charlie needs you. I need you.”
Your grip tightened on his collar, pulling him close. “You don’t get it. I destroy everything I touch. And you—” Your voice cracked as tears burned down your cheeks. “You proved it to me.”
“No,” he pleaded, his voice raw. “Let me help you. Please. This is all my fault.”
“I’m done pretending,” you whispered, your words sharp and final. “I won’t survive for someone else’s sake again.”
Lucifer reached out as you slipped from his grasp, your body falling back into the void. His wings flared, desperate to catch you, but you didn’t fight it anymore. This time, you wouldn’t let anyone else decide your fate.
“NO!” Lucifer’s scream tore through the darkness as he dove after you. He reached for you, fingers inches away.
And then, impact.
Your body shattered against the ground below, blood pooling like shadows. Lucifer collapsed beside you, his hands trembling as he cradled your broken form. “No,” he choked. “Kitty... don’t leave me. Please.”
His powers surged, golden and furious, as he forced them into your lifeless body. The void erupted in violent light and shadow, a chaotic struggle of life and death.
“I’ll save you,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “Even if it means losing myself.”
Painful seconds stretched into eternity before your body jerked violently, golden markings flaring across your skin. You screamed, the sound echoing in the endless void.
Lucifer’s wings spread wide, casting shadows over the glowing thorns around you. His power consumed everything, binding you to him, forcing life back into you.
The void fell silent.
And then…
“Who are you?” you asked, your voice quiet and unfamiliar.
Lucifer turned, his eyes wide. “Kitty?”
You tilted your head, a serene smile curving your lips. You looked towards an unfamiliar Man. A chill ran through Lucifer as another voice spoke, soft but chilling. “My name is Sharen. Nice to meet you, Y/n.”
Lucifer’s eyes snapped toward the source of the voice, his chest tightening. The figure who called himself Sharen wore a disarmingly pleasant expression, but something about him was deeply, profoundly wrong.
The air around him seemed to warp, oppressive and stifling, as if it carried the weight of something unspeakable.
Lucifer’s skin prickled. He could feel it—a predator hidden beneath the mask of civility, its intentions coiled and waiting. Sharen’s smile stretched just a fraction too wide, his gaze holding a glint of malice that flickered like a shadow in candlelight.
“Who... are you, Sharen?” Lucifer’s voice was low, strained, the edges sharp with suspicion. His hands itched to summon his power, to defend himself against whatever this was.
Sharen tilted his head, the motion unnatural, a marionette moved by invisible strings. When he spoke, his tone was soft, almost mocking, each word curling through Lucifer’s mind like smoke.
“Does it matter?” Sharen asked, his grin widening. “After all, I’m not the first version of myself you’ve met.”
Lucifer stiffened, his breath catching as his surroundings began to shift. The void around him twisted, peeling back like scorched paper. He was no longer standing in nothingness but in a hazy, distorted memory—one that wasn’t his own.
There you were. On your knees, flames licking at your skin as you screamed, your voice fractured with despair. And standing above you was him—Lucifer. Not the man he thought himself to be, but a monstrous version, his expression cold, merciless.
Sharen’s voice echoed behind him, a venomous whisper:
“Recognize yourself yet, my King?”
When you think this is the worst it can get.
Just wait.
Spoiler next chapter:
“I just... I just wanted him back,” you whimpered to no one, your voice raw and trembling. “The real Sharen. The caring Sharen. The man who loved me…” Your words dissolved into a guttural sob as you looked at your hands—shaking, bloodied, foreign.
💫
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#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#y/n#lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer x reader#shapard#hazbin hotel lucifer#hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar x reader#Angst
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I’ve been replaying through the dark souls games (I finished one and am almost done with 2) and man. Casting dex builds are a lot easier for me than pure strength
#I’ve played through 1 and 3 and about 3/4 of 2 before#I bought them all in a bundle so I kinda played them out of order#I did 1 first and missed a lot of optional stuff (including the dlc which I got mad at and quit)#then I played 3 and did pretty much everything there was to do including getting most of the way through ng+#and then I olayed 2 last and kinda got burnt out right after the mirror knight and never beat the game or did the dlc#which is the main reason I wanted to replay Through the games#any way on all 3 I did a str build with just enough int to use the moonlight greatsword#and I though that’s what I was gonna do for elden ring but I ended up going for a dex int build and having way more fun with it#so now that’s what I’m doing for all 3 dark souls games#well sort of I went pretty hard into pyromancy as well as sorcery in my ds1 playthrough#then in 2 I’m doing a hex build specifically#and I’ll probably do dark sorcery/pyromancy again in 3#any way I’ll probably write a longer post about dark souls once I finish all 3 games#dark souls
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never forget—
synopsis: where sebastian is actually worried about MC and regrets casting crucio on them caaaause that moment in the game was not enough for me pfft!
tags: 18(+), lil angst, mostly fluff, sebastian(18) x reader, i didn’t know how to end this oops, one-shot, 2k words.
“Crucio!”
The pain that followed that one little word was excruciating.
Yet the spell casted upon you was of your own doing. You, Ominis, and Sebastian had become good friends since your first day at Hogwarts. Always together, always the 3 of you somehow in trouble. Well, mostly you and Sebastian. Somehow Ominis always managed to get out of the trouble the two of you dragged him into. You were Slytherin after all, it was most likely in your blood.
When you first met Sebastian, he had such an eager to learn that his demeanor was contagious. So much so you couldn’t help but also want to gain more knowledge with him over the years. It was all thanks to Ominis from keeping you two from ending up expelled. Your savior in a sense. But ever since the three of you had become good friends, Sebastian never let up about Salazar Slytherin. He was set on finding his Scriptorium, begging Ominis for so long to show him the way. Seeing as he believed finding it would help cure his sister’s, Anne, curse.
When Ominis had finally given into you both and led the way, the three of you worked wonderfully together. Traversing dark and wary caves. Fending off giant spiders, solving puzzles all that good stuff. Until finally you reach a room with a single note, bones buried in dirt, no way out, the word CRUCIO etched into the stone before your feet, and what looked to be a screaming apparition burned onto a mirror.
You sadly read the note aloud for all to hear. Detailing a grim last few words from Ominis’s aunt. Who unfortunately had gone looking for the Scriptorium, alone, and met an untimely fate. You reach out to gently touch Ominis’s shoulder and he stills beneath your touch.
“I’m so sorry about your aunt, Omni.” You mourn. He nods in acceptance. Nothing they did now could’ve changed what had happened to his aunt. He would at least find some peace in knowing what happened to her.
Sebastian is at your side then. Concerned look on his own freckled face. “Ominis…I know it’s hard. But the letter details using Crucio. You’re the best suited for this—“
“No! I won’t do it. To use Crucio you have to mean it. I will not cast that spell ever again…especially on you two.” Ominis steps away from your reach. Closing off from the activity entirely. You didn’t blame him.
You turn to face Sebastian then who looks..almost disappointed with Ominis's rejection. He gestures for you to follow him closer to the wailing mirror. Hauntingly beautiful, even in its twisted state.
“Well, two options. You cast Crucio on me, or I…cast it on you. It’s the only way we’re getting out of here. We can’t die here and now because of—of morals.” Sebastian whispers to you. The thought of dying in that suffocating tomb alone makes your skin crawl.
Ominis had always been vocal about how horrible any of the killing curses were, especially this spell. Seeing as he was forced to cast it when he was younger. The nightmares still haunt the blonde from what you could tell. His sleepless nights. The flinch at loud noises. It was obvious, whatever you decided, that this would forever weigh heavy on your soul. Yet the spell…could come in handy when facing Ranrok. He was your enemy after all.
You hoped it would never come down to using it though.
“Fine. Teach me the spell but you…you cast it on me. I won’t hurt you Seb.” You mumble. And at first, he’s hesitant. His wand slightly swayed before he reluctantly nods. His hands slightly shake as he teaches you the wave of the wand. He had never performed the dark arts before and this could go very wrong or just really wrong. Either way was going to hurt. But you trusted him.
That’s how you ended up in the here and now. Agonizing pain ripped through your flesh like lightning. Flames behind your eyeballs that force them to shut tight. Hoping to ease the pain away. Your teeth gnash against your lip to hold back screams of pain. It does nothing. Dark magic moves under your skin like writhing red and green tentacles. You gasp between almost suffocating screams.
Breathe in, scream, breathe out.
Your back is against the stone, arched, burning hot. Even as Ominis, or maybe it was Sebastian’s, or both of their hands are grabbing at your arms. Cool fingers press into your hot flesh as the boy’s try to lift you from the floor.
They try to comfort you during one of the worst moments of your life. It doesn’t help. They both fumble as they move you into the room that opened up behind the wailing mirror. The pain is nauseating. Every fumble, correction, and movement makes your stomach churn. Threatening to spill out your lunch. Your consciousness is slowly fading at this point. Stars blinking behind your eyelids as you grasp for whatever you can to stay awake.
Through the pulsing pain in your head and ears, you barely hear the two boys arguing. More or less Ominis yelling about how he was right. How this was a stupid idea as he struggles to help carry you. Ominis can’t see where he steps yet he’s trying so hard to save you now.
“You—you’re both idiots!” Ominis snarls. Struggling with words through his rage and panic. “How could you do something like this!”
“I understand, Ominis! Just—just, Merlin, help me! Help me get to the infirmary!” Sebastian spits back as they continue to fumble around, looking for an exit.
The last thing you hear is Sebastian calling for desperate help before the pain becomes too much and finally takes you under. Passing out from the curse spell later than you would’ve liked.
When concussions come back to you, it’s almost unbearable. Your eyes flutter open but fall closed once again. Maybe you could just stay like that for forever. Lying on a cloud, nice and warm, with your eyes closed. Eh, sounds a little too much like death for your liking.
Thankfully, your second attempt at waking up is far more fruitful. Candlelight flickers rapidly at the edge of your feet as your eyes slowly come into focus. You make out the white sheets laying across your body. Feel the firm mattress against your back. Connecting the dots, slowly but surely, that you were in the infirmary.
Your head moves slightly to continue looking around. Hoping a nurse was close by so you could ask for some water or medicine or anything to make the dull ache in your body stop. Instead your eyes find Sebastian.
His unruly brown hair is somehow even messier than usual. He slumps against the side of your bed and from what you can tell, he might be asleep. Seeing as it was sometime during the night. If you had to guess he probably snuck into the infirmary to be at your side.
Suddenly memories of what happened in the Scriptorium come back to you. Sending a harsh chill down your entire body. The cast of Crucio echoes in the back of your mind. You’ll never forget the feeling. Or the look on Seb’s face as he waved the spell and casted it upon you.
‘Crucio can only be cast if you mean it.’ You remember Ominis’s haunting words. Sebastian must’ve meant it. But you try your best to not blame him. He was just trying to get you all out of that stone grave.
“Seb…” You try to speak. Your throat burns as you attempt to rouse the sleeping man at your side. Voice hoarse, borderline gone, from what you can only assume is from the screaming you barely remember doing. “Sebastian.” You barely manage his full name.
His body shifts at the sound of his name but he doesn’t rise. So you make your way to sit up. Although the moment you prepare to sit up, weight shifting ever so slightly, Sebastian shoots up instantly. His pretty green eyes meet your gaze in a wild look. As if he can’t believe you’re awake. Dried drool sticks to the edge of his lips. You can’t help but laugh. Or what you assume is a laugh. To Seb it probably sounds like you’re coughing.
“I—we—are you okay?” Seb stumbles over his words. Knowing Sebastian, he most likely had something planned to say the moment you woke up. Yet now he was almost speechless. For the first time ever.
“I’m o-okay just…w-water.” You manage to mumble. Now he’s quick to react. A glass of water is held out with lightning speed to you and you take it graciously.
After a moment of what felt like an eternity of being parched, you chug the water given to you, before you hand the glass off and sit fully upright. Your fingers lay in your lap, picking at the cotton of the blanket.
Silence falling between the two of you was so uncommon. It almost felt worse than writhing in pain. Not really but the wall built up was hard to ignore. You needed that wall to come down.
“How long was I asleep?” You ask softly. Breaking the silence as your throat is finally feeling better after some water.
“Three days,” Sebastian replies. He doesn’t look at you. You don’t blame him, not really. The guilt must weigh heavy on his shoulders.
Three days. The fact that it had been days since you had passed out in the scriptorium made your gut twist. You can’t even imagine what rumors must have spread among the school. Or the amount of questions the headmaster will be asking you. Oh you were definitely in for some trouble.
“I’m so sorry.”
Apologies were not something Sebastian was known for. The fact that he was apologizing at all was almost shocking. You didn’t have to guess that he didn’t really mean it when he casted Crucio. It was all just a matter of choices, for you all to survive.
“It’s okay,” Your voice is soft as you speak. “I don’t want you to blame yourself. I agreed to it Sebastian,” You remind him. It only makes Seb angrier with himself.
“Of course I blame myself! I could’ve killed you!” Sebastian says in a strained voice. He wants to scream and yell. He wants you to scream and yell at him. For letting him do something so stupid. For not listening to Ominis in the first place. For being too eager.
“It was a matter of life or death Seb you know that—“ You began to say but he cuts you off as he quickly stands from his chair.
“But what if there was another way!? What if I didn’t have to…didn’t want to—I could’ve changed something!” He angrily hisses as he turns his head away from you.
Silences befalls between the two of you again. Stretched longer than previously as you can’t think of something to say. He had three days to beat himself up for dragging all three of you to that scriptorium. You couldn’t imagine how many scenarios he himself had imagined over and over again while in your slumber.
“What if I had lost you?”
The soft words are barely loud enough to hear. Just a whisper under his breath you almost can’t manage to make out. But you do. The somber confession comes at you like a heavy rainstorm. Unexpected, welcoming, lovely, and a little noisy from his previous minor outburst. Building from a small drop to a straight downpour and you’re caught in the middle of it with no umbrella.
Even in the candlelight you see the tips of ears, beat red as he refuses to look at you. Shoulders tense as he tries to will himself to calm down. It was late, you weren’t supposed to be awake, and he wasn’t supposed to be there. It was not the time for this conversation.
Yet it makes you smile anyway. Butterflies jump around under your skin, in your heart, stomach following suit in doing somersaults. You reach with a gentle hand and grab hold of his shirt sleeve, giving it a tug. For a moment he stands completely still. Debating whether or not it was the right moment to hash all of this out. It wasn’t. Yet a second tug on his sleeve has him turning to finally look at you.
This time when you meet his green eyes, his wild look is gone. He looks at you like you’re the cure to whatever alignment he’s currently experiencing. It’s a saddened, sleepless, relieved look. Feeling every emotion he’s ever felt in his life all in the span of a few short seconds.
You smile fondly at Sebastian, praying he could see it in the soft light of the infirmary. “But you didn’t,” You remind him. Almost gesturing to you, him, and your surroundings. “I’m still here, Seb.”
Sebastian simply nods. Not having the courage to speak for it may bring him to tears. Now that would truly be the end of the world if that happened.
You reach for his hand. Reassuring and gentle as your fingers intertwine with his. He’s stiff as a board at your touch. He has always yearned for it but never had the faith to act upon his feelings.
“Plus, it’ll take more than that to get rid of me.” You say hoping to ease the young man’s feelings. At least for tonight.
A squeeze to your hand is the only response you receive as he returns to his seat. He rests your connected hands on the bed before his head follows suit. Instead of returning to the side of your bed he makes himself comfy on your thigh. You smile at the puzzling picture before you.
The great Sebastian Sallow, a man who rarely asks for any help, unless it involves trekking in some dark cave somewhere, was vulnerably sprawled out on top of you.
You stifle a giggle, fearing if he heard you laugh he would assume the worst and pull away. Instead your free hand pushes through his hair. Pushing away dark curly hair from his freckled face.
“You should return to the dorms before the nurse finds you.” You hum as your eyes scan his own closed eyes. Gazing at the lengths of his eyelashes. Every freckle you could see, thinking how fun it could be to count them one day.
“‘Ts fine,” Sebastian shrugs it off. You hear the softness of his breathing, slowly becoming shallow as he falls asleep. Fast asleep in your thigh with his hand tightly wound to yours. You wish you could have a painting done of this moment. Hoping by every ounce of magic in your veins that you never forget this feeling or the sight. And by Merlin does the sight make your heart ache and pound in equal parts.
You just hoped to never go through something like this ever again. Hopefully Sebastian would see how powerful and dangerous the dark arts could be and look for another solution to healing Anne’s curse. Maybe the ancient magic you wield could help next time instead of turning to the unforgiving curses.
#hogwarts legacy#x reader#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x reader#sebastian sallow x slytherin!reader#fluff#fluffy zevrra#angst with a happy ending#one shot#i did not proofread this#i am so sorry#enjoy!!!
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This post is uh, extremely normal I swear
So hello yes I am absolutely On My Bullshit regarding my new favourite game.
That’s right, it’s the cannibal incest game, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley. And I’m here to shove five thousand words of pretentious analysis down your throat because, and I do not exaggerate, I think it is one of, if not the best written game I have ever played. And I have played a lot of games, including Baldur’s Gate 3, Final Fantasy XIV and Undertale, to name a few narrative luminaries to come to mind.
That wordcount is not an exaggeration. My brainworms are extremely powerful and now you can share them with me as I walk you through my insane skyscraper of inference-driven analysis.
Or you can click away. I really wouldn’t blame you, it’s quite a lot.
Content Warnings: …Yes?
(To drop the bit for a moment, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley covers extremely disturbing material and challenges you to examine aspects of living in this world that many have taken for granted all their life, it is not a comfortable game, this will cover similar topics and will often echo the game’s unremitting scepticism on basic principles of society and humanity and you should look after yourself first. My Content Warning is framed as a joke, but it’s also quite real in that the game is designed to make you uncomfortable and there’s no shame in that not being for you.)
This was originally posted on and formatted for Sufficient Velocity, and you can probably more easily read and discuss it with me here.
With that said, let’s dig in. I have had to split this into multiple posts because tumblr will only allow so many images. There will be spoilers for all endings.
She’s excited, are you?
It’s All About Ashley
It really is, isn’t it? I mean, for approximately eighty percent of the total game as currently released and the entirety of Episode 1, you’re in control of Ashley, just as she’s in control of her and Andrew’s relationship for 80% of the game, up until the various ending sequences where it begins to slip. The only other characters who really matter at all in and of themselves are Andrew and her mother — and the former is under her thumb, and she eats the latter. It’s all about Ashley. Even her obsession with Andrew is, ultimately, about Ashley.
But who is Ashley? What is Ashley? Why is Ashley, even? Let’s take a look.
Ashley as presented to us in Episode 1 is very straightforward, so let’s list off the traits we’re given — she is malicious, she is fearless, she lacks empathy, she doesn’t have anything resembling a conscience, she demands Andrew belong to her and her alone, she has him at her beck and call.
In Episode 2, we’re ostensibly shown how she has him at her beck and call— she leverages the threat of reporting Nina’s death over him and had him swear to be with her forever. We’re shown that even as a child she was “just, like that” — but as a child, she hadn’t learnt to live with it yet, to laugh at the farce of it all.
Yeah, exactly like that!
And she does this throughout Episode 1 — The Coffin of Andy and Leyley is a remarkably silly game much of the time, finding moments of absurdity and levity against a backdrop blacker than pitch — and most of the time, your internal narration is coming from Ashley and the jokes will not-infrequently come at her own expense.
She will later get negged by her human sacrifice for her poor ritual circle drawing
Her reaction to being told that her soul is as dark and viscous as tar is “You guess you already knew that” — it’s confirmation to her, not new information. Ashley knows who she is. But who taught her this? There’s layers to this, nothing in this game is as simple and straightforward as it appears at first sight, which is why I’ve been obsessing over it for days.
While it’s common in fiction, the truth of the matter is, most ‘bad people’ really do think they’re good people. But Ashley has never once thought of herself as a good person — or perhaps better put as a person worthy of love — as we learn across Episodes 1 & 2, with our flashbacks to Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!!
I really wish I had space in this essay to talk about this, but I’d like to touch on these being traits usually more easily forgiven in young boys than young girls at some point.
If she removes all other options, only then can she expect him to like her.
This is something that is echoed in the modern day — her seeming self-assurance is easily shaken and she reaches out to the world — usually Andrew — to affirm and validate her, soothing her insecurities, using any tool she deems necessary. Even when her life is on the line when Andrew has her by the throat at the climax of Episode 1, the only ‘compelling reason’ she can give Andrew to not kill her is her ability to soothe his nightmares. When he tells her there are sleeping pills for that…
Most people would have a bit more to argue for their existence.
While she, unlike Andrew, acknowledges having had friends before the quarantine… you know she’s got a point that they didn’t even bother to answer her calls, that was clearly not something the state was interfering with given Andrew’s calls with his mother and his girlfriend, and given her general demeanour it’s not hard to imagine that… they weren’t ever very close. When we see her and Nina talk in the infamous ‘box scene’, it’s clear that Nina doesn’t like her very much, despite Andrew’s assessment of Nina as being one of Ashley’s friends.
We see further support for her general lack of companionship in her dream sequence in the Burial route — Leyley and Leyley Alone. No matter what you do, you can’t place the pink plushy at the family table, the flowers won’t bloom if you give the Julia and Nina plushies her own as a companion instead of Andrew’s — and if you’re bold enough to go for the ‘incest route’, in the ‘Love’ room you see that no one ever looks happy to be with her in the childlike depictions of her history, nor is she happy in turn, save for when she’s with Andrew. In a bit of heavy-handed metaphor, the player then overwrites all of these tense, upset, hard moments with Andrew, having him fill in for everyone else in life — and happy with her.
Once Upon A Lousy Life…
THE END
And that’s why she needs him to affirm her, because no one else ever has and no one else ever will. It’s even included in their comic beats — when the siblings are getting along well, they’ll often play a game where Andrew dramatically overpraises Ashley while she demands more; it’s a comedic bit but I mean — it really does matter to her!
For the record, she opened a door. She gets a little heart in a speech bubble after this exchange.
We have a great example of this dynamic, that of insecurity and affirmation, in Episode 1, after Andrew has killed for her, butchered for her, his girlfriend broke up with her, he’s seemingly thrown his entire life away for her… she’s still insecure over her relationship with him, she’s uncertain of her control and she needs him to reaffirm it for her.
This is her victory, surely?
Andrew affirms her once, with his usual dead-eyed look.
But she's still not so sure.
He actively reaches out to affirm her again with cheer.
Look how happy she is!
While it’s most obvious and clear cut here, it’s hardly the only case. Let’s look back to the aftermath of Andy and Leyley and the VERY VERY QUIET!!! (I’m not using the other name). Leyley is, after similarly extreme acts — he murdered a girl and hid her body for her — convinced Andy doesn’t like her and she needs this leverage to keep him around, to meet her basic needs for survival. Because that’s what this is — she receives no care of affection elsewhere, so she forces it out of the only source she sees available through the means she sees as necessary.
I really hope we see some of their earlier childhood in Episode 3
What exactly made her like this? Was it just neglect, or something more specific…
She needs this to be the case because otherwise she doesn’t believe he’d stay.
This pattern repeats throughout — Ashley’s insecurities are hit on and she reaches out to Andy to affirm that she is not alone, and she will use any and every tool to exploit her ostensible control over him and force him to be what she needs him to be — and as long as she has that, as long as she is everything to him and it’s not possible for him to leave, she’s happy. As long as she thinks he loves her in her very particular, very peculiar view of love, she’s content, come what may. As long as Andy and Leyley are together, they can take on the world.
Let’s talk about that view of love, because there’s always more layers to unpack here I’m only scratching the surface with this essay — Ashley consistently refers to anyone else Andrew may have befriended or spent time with as a whore, a slut, a bitch — highly gendered insults that bring to mind the idea that he’s cheating in some way. But it’s not even about sex — when Andrew mentions that their parents had friends, she accuses them of cheating on each other in the same way!
There’s a lot to unpack about Ashley’s view of femininity and the role the patriarchy plays in their relationship.
Any kind of emotional engagement, any kind of commitment, any kind of life outside of your significant other is, to Ashley, cheating. Because that’s what she needs from Andrew, a seeming complete and total commitment, secure in her place as the only thing in his life, because she cannot understand anyone picking her if they have a choice.
This insecurity she has in her relationship is what drives her to empower the trinket — he can’t leave her as long as she can protect him with prophetic dreams, after all. She needs every kind of leverage she can get because until she succeeds in being everything to him, in devouring him so completely she has him in her thrall mind, body and soul she can’t be sure of herself — hell, her dream sequence in Burial has you placing Andrew’s signature green plushy, ‘the best thing in the world’ in a cage far away from anything else.
Ultimately, it really is all about Ashley — even her seeming obsession with Andrew ultimately comes back to her own insecurities. If she is everything to ‘the best thing in the world’, some of that ‘best’ must surely reflect on her!
But that’s enough about the more normal, straightforward and understandable sibling.
That was not a joke.
Andrew’s Rank 100 Deception
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he did not exist.
Let me explain.
You might have noticed that in the previous section I often use language such as ‘ostensibly’ or ‘seemingly’ to describe Andy and Leyley’s relationship, and there’s a good reason for that. From the beginning of the game through to its end, Andrew is lying to you, the player, without ever falsely representing or misinforming you about events that occurred.
The common, or obvious ‘initial take’ on Andrew as presented in Episode 1 is fairly straightforward. The game primes you to think this way, it frames things and strings reveals just right so as to make it very easy to overlook the incongruities it introduces in Episode 2. He’s a victim. Plain and simple, Ashley is his abuser and he is her victim and would be fine, a normal albeit kinda depressed guy without her.
It really is not a difficult conclusion to draw
You can go all the way through the game, have him try to accept his mother’s olive branch and enter the Decay route as a method for him to finally actualise his desire to get out from Ashley’s thumb and it makes sense, it’s a reasonable way for the story to go, given his character.
You see him this way because the game primes you in Episode 1 to view their relationship like Andrew does — he’s lying. He’s lying to himself, he’s lying to Ashley and he’s so good at it — Deception Rank 100 — he even lies to you. Without misrepresenting a single event or otherwise misleading you directly, the game gets you to buy into his preferred self-perception. Nina? Ashley. Julia? Ashley. The murders they commit in the course of the game? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley, it’s not his fault he’s not to blame he’s just a doormat at the beck and call of his demonic sister.
But he wants to be there. From the very outset, the very first puzzle, that’s made clear. Does anyone else remember this exchange, from right at the beginning of the game?
Ashley wants to investigate the music!
Andrew disapproves…
…Or does he?!
Like. Listen. Okay. You do not frown when saying ‘Nope’ and then smile when saying that you’ll instead tag along if they do it if your heart is at all in the no. That’s not an objection, that’s using Ashley as his excuse. Especially if you immediately throw her the balcony key that she could not possibly have gotten from you by force (more on Andrew’s ability to use force later).
This is the very first time you control both characters together with Andrew following Ashley instead of off on his own, the first adventure, the first puzzle!
But put a pin in that for now, let’s talk about his initial framing in Episode 2 first. Episode 1 has set us up to, generally speaking, believe the superficial framing of the siblings as portrayed in its promotional art:
The question that we then ask, right at the heart of it is… why is he a doormat? We explore this in his dream sequence in Episode 2, which does make it clear that the boy’s not okay but— it’s real easy, given the priming from Episode 1 to make you think that he’s the one with the originally functional moral compass, to think that that him being fucked up is damage done to him by Nina’s death and being bound to Ashley for his entire life. She corrupted him.
But, well, is that the case?
You're primed to ignore this as manipulation (which it is) but the best manipulation has some truth to it.
Precisely two things spur Andrew to action in the entire game, consistently — they are the fear of consequences and Ashley. And the first incident of that fear, the very first time we’re shown his seeming moral compass as a kid — the first time it’s really hammered home that it’s a fear of consequences rather than any true moral qualms is after Nina’s death. And why does he fear consequences here?
……
The ‘natural’ read that many take away from this sequence, particularly those who have only played Decay, is that Ashley browbeat him into doing this against his will, using emotional blackmail to overwhelm his objections, and then used the event itself to bind him to her forever as her personal doormat.
In a strict sense, this is true. But this doesn’t match up with the details, something the game uses shock to encourage you to overlook. That outburst is before any kind of threat has been made, and absolutely nothing either of them say anything about it being morally bad until Ashley weaponises ‘you’re a bad person’ against Andrew — morality didn’t seem to enter his mind or the equation at all until Ashley brought it up. More than that, his greatest fear and driving motivation even prior to that is, as shown above, being taken away from Ashley.
She, of course, recognises this and uses it against him. But she never needed to, it didn’t change anything about Andrew’s attachment to her, it was there to address her own insecurities.
Just like to touch on how a lot of his affirmations are preceded by him confirming her insecurities.
I adore this phrasing
There’s a second prong to this as well, to the question of ‘who really calls the shots here’ because — Andrew can, at any stage, apply an ‘ultimate veto’ of physical violence. The game is very clear to the player that that is on the table — even when they were children, when Andy swears their blood oath, he briefly considers killing her — and take note of how he ultimately got a ‘winning’ condition out of her by not specifying there wouldn’t be others and she is forced to accept that, there. Even outside of their most serious confrontations, Ashley is portrayed as having to convince, manipulate or otherwise coerce Andrew into going along with her schemes — she really can’t make him do anything, she doesn’t have the supremacy in violence and, to a lesser extent, capability that would allow her to.
Andrew, you are like ten years old.
The truth of the matter is, Ashley can only make Andrew do anything because he lets her. I don’t mean in the sense that I’m saying abuse victims let their abusers emotionally abuse them, I mean in the sense that he is clearly considering his options on the table and choosing to discard those that could stop her, or bring an end to any of this. He needs her.
But it’s true that he hates her, too. He has to hate her, because if he doesn’t hate her, if he isn’t forced to have done this, that means… he’s responsible. And nothing, at the start of the story, is as important to Andrew as avoiding the consequences of his own actions, not even Ashley. By the midpoint, he loves her, he hates her, he can’t live without her, he wants to kill her — by the end… well, that depends if you’re on Decay or Burial, but more on that in a bit.
A great scene to study for this dynamic is the climax of Episode 1, when Andrew grabs Ashley by the throat and considers strangling her to death. She’s pushed him too far with hurtful words and assault, and he’s seemingly had enough.
It’s still framed as a question of risk, of consequences happening to him.
Like, this is not the usual behaviour of someone who’s been pushed past their breaking point.
He tells Ashley that he wants to kill her, because she’s just going to throw another fit and that’s a risk to him. She is… not framed as being able to fight back (she does have a gun here, and more on that in a later essay, maybe). He’s so calculated in how he approaches his use of violence here, which isn’t at all what you’d expect of someone about to commit a crime of passion… but it’s very easy to overlook because of the abuser/victim narrative that the player fits his behaviour into the narrative that the game primes them to accept, brushing incongruities under the carpet.
At the start of Episode 2, we get to control Andrew for the first time, and the first obvious holes in his cover start to show. Some of this is optional — you only learn that he’s been faking having nightmares in order to share a bed with Ashley if you choose to go back into the motel room and check the bed, for example — but not all of it.
----(See reblogs for the second half)
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The Bonds That Break Us (Rhysand x Female! Reader) Part 1
Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Final Part
Request: "Would you do a Rhysand x fem!reader series? Maybe fem!reader is Rhysand's mate and Tamlin's sister? So secret love?"
AN: I just got this request and I absolutely LOVE it. I have no idea how many parts it will be because it's really parking my imagination. Please feel free to leave a comment! Hearing your guy's feedback is what motivates me to write!
Summary: It was almost as if the cauldron liked to play games, as if it had sensed years of boredom and predictability and begged to be entertained. Its method of absolving its melancholy? Mate the High Lord of the Night Court to the younger sister of the High Lord of Spring.
Warnings (so far): SA
Word count: 2765
(all photos are from pinterest)
It was like being born, even though I was the ripe age of 435. Well, ripe in the years of fae. It felt like being born, in the sense that I can’t really remember what came before that passing shade of violet. The way his eyes bore into me, and in that moment I knew he felt the tug too.
Mates.
I reeled for days, the peonies of spring my only console, my brother had always been so absent minded and utterly consumed with being High Lord. How could the cauldron be so cruel? To mate me to the High Lord of the Night. I spent the next week thinking it had to be a mistake, that my bored mind was playing tricks on me. Yet when the council met the week following, his eyes found me immediately, and I think in that moment I saw him for the very first time.
I didn’t dare approach him, far too shy and afraid to approach the Lord of Night. Not just because of what he was, but because of what my brother would say. By basic necessity Tamilin was a good brother, he doted upon me, kept me safe, gave me free roam of the palace. But there was a darkness about him I couldn’t place. It started when he disappeared with our father one night only to come back with two sets of Illyrian wings. I knew whatever happened was wrong, but as a woman in the spring court, I knew better than to open my mouth. Needless to say, Tamlin became High Lord of Spring shortly after, and from the wings mounted on our family walls I knew we had but one enemy, the night court.
It wasn’t until the third council meeting (the third I was allowed to attend, after I begged my brother to let me go) that the High Lord of Night finally sought me out.
My brother was busying himself with the politics of Day and Summer, talking the heads off of Helion and Tarquin. I kept to the shadows naturally, avoiding any untoward advances from other High Lords. I tried to stay hidden in my pocket of introvertedness, but then I felt him, and my skin buzzed, like it needed to be touched, to be held.
“You felt it too right?” he purred into the shell of my ear causing the buzzing of my skin to become electric.
“I did,” I admit pathetically.
“And you feel it now too,” he whispers as I finally turn to face him. The violet of his eyes pierce my soul and I’m left speechless and unable to move from their gaze. He’s otherworldly, he’s everything, and he’s also completely forbidden.
“Do you?” I ask, hoping that whatever answer he gives can validate the fire in my bones.
“I do,” he muses like he loves the game. “Your brother killed my family. He is my sworn enemy and I should hate you.” he breathes. I can feel his resolve slipping along with mine, for every statement he makes I can make an opposing one, “but all I want to do is kiss you right now.” he finishes.
Fire runs through my veins as a sharp breath passes my lips. I feel my brother's presence and I evade myself from the High Lord of Night’s cage. My brother whisks me off to the Spring Court once more, but not before I glance back one last time to see that shade of violet I had already learned to look for in a crowd.
That was a week ago.
I stand in the foyer of the castle with my brother and Lucien as we prepare to join the council once again this week.
“You look ravishing as always,” Lucien muses, eyes wandering me like they’re hungry.
“It’s not often my brother lets me out of the house, I have to make a good impression somehow,” I say backhandedly. All I get in return is a sideways glance from Tamiln as we are taken to court. Today the meeting resides in Tarquins’s court. It changes once a week to allow all High Lord’s to have the upper hand. The sea salted mist hits my face and the warm rays of the sun tan my skin as we walk into the council.
When we arrive he’s already there. He stands out amongst the rest, not just because he’s dressed in black, but because he’s the most beautiful male I’ve ever seen. The definition of a forbidden fruit. As if to tempt me, Tamilin unknowingly sits directly across from the High Lord of Night making it so I can’t lift my head without meeting the violet of his eyes. If you had asked me to recall the events the council discussed, I couldn’t, the only word left on my tongue was Night. Talk of tithes and power checks drifted over my head. The only thing to rouse me from my trance was the scraping of wooden chairs across marble floors, signaling that the council meeting had adjourned and that the more foundational political talks of High Lords would begin.
I took it as my queue to step out onto one of the many terraces of the Summer Court. The room where the council was held was stifling. I thought that the breeze of the ocean might cool my skin, but no matter where I went that deafening heat followed.
“I was hoping I would see you again,” purred a voice from behind me.
I turned to find that piercing violet once more. “Of course why wouldn’t I be at the council meetings?” I ask, trying to act like I won’t be replaying this conversation in my mind when I return to bed tonight.
“You’ve only been to four council meetings now, and your brother has a habit of keeping you locked up in the Spring Court.” he trails, drawing closer to the railing of which I’m leaning upon.
“Well I intend to be at all of them from here on out,” I state.
“Any particular reason why?” he asks with a playful tone in his voice and I know what he’s insinuating.
“Because I wish to be a part of the governing of my court, even though I am just a woman,” I say, evading his innuendo.
“That’s a shame if you were part of my court you wouldn’t have such phrases like ‘just a woman’” he states almost as if he’s upset with the phrase.
“I highly doubt that, women aren’t equals in any court,” I scoff.
“What about Kallias and Viviane?” he asks.
“What about them?”
“Kallias sees Viviane as his equal, she is his mate and his High Lady,” he explains, stepping even closer to me, close enough that my skin starts to buzz again.
“Viviane is special, everyone knows that,” I justify.
“And you’re not?” he muses and my skin goes from buzzing to electrifying in three words. I feel his fingertips grazing my hand as if asking for permission.
“My Lord we can’t do this,” I breathe out.
“Call me Rhysand,” he says, stepping even closer.
I step to the side, avoiding his advances, “My Lord, I won’t do this, I can’t do this.” I affirm.
I see him bristle from my reluctance to call him by his name, “You’ll give into the idea of us. When you’re lying in that cold bed high up in the spring court thinking of all the ways I could warm it for you. When you’ve spent the week with nothing but this conversation on your mind,” he leans down to whisper in my ear. “This time next week you will beg for me to touch you, and I’ll happily oblige, mate.”
I’m so taken aback by his words that I can’t even form a quick witted response, I simply slid away and tried my best not to look back at him as I felt his gaze pierce my back. I nearly slam into Viviane and Kallias.
“Y/n are you alright?” Viviane asks.
“Yes, just feeling the heat of the summer court,” I lie, fanning my face.
“Then you should come home with us today, it’s been so long since we had a girls night. I wish for your company." She smiles while taking my hand.
“Shall we go home sister?” Tamilin appears, Lucien in tow.
“Actually I think I’ll spend the night in the winter court with Viviane, she’s right,” I look at her and smile. “We haven’t had a girls night in quite a long time.”
“Very well, I won’t get in the way of your sinful gossiping,” Tamilin smiles and leads Lucien away with him.
If the summer court is sea salt and sun, then the winter court is pine and fresh fallen snow. Though they are opposites in every way, they are stunning in their own right, like all courts are. I’ve been here many times before to sit and talk with Viviane, she’s one of the only other ladies of nobility my age and a fierce friend. It’s not uncommon for me to spend a couple days here in the winter court, with Viviane and Kallias.
I sit among a bed of furs near a warm fire adjacent to Viviane as Kallias pours both me and his mate a glass of red wine.
“Thank you dear,” she smiles, kissing him on the cheek before he leaves us to gossip.
“You and Kallias really are a perfect match,” I beam and Vivianane knows me well enough to know that there's a sadness there.
“You’ll find it too someday, your mate. I know you will,” she assures me. “Now tell me, what of Lucien?”
I roll my eyes taking a sip of my wine, “He’s still insufferable. The other day he backed me into a wall and if one of my ladies maids hadn’t walked in I swore he would’ve had his way with me.”
She lets out an airy laugh, “I still can’t believe Tamiln allows him to play with you like that. He’s so fiercely protective of you with everyone else.” she says, taking a sip of her own wine.
“Lucien is his best friend, he wouldn’t deny him anything, even his little sister.” I point out.
“I suppose you’re right,” she smirks. The night is filled with goblets of wine and laughter as we continue to talk about the high lords of Prythian. We even go as far as to talk about her and Kallais’ sex lives, to which Kallias promptly came in laughing taking his wife to bed.
I trudge down the hall to the bedroom the High Lord and Lady had set aside just for me a few years ago. I fall into the plush mattress, the world slightly spinning around me. The second I am left alone with my thoughts I recall the feeling of Rhysand’s breath on my neck and I shiver.
The room spins and I feel my skin grow hot with need, my heart beats faster and my head is drunk with that shade of violet. My hand subconsciously drifts down my body.
You’re drunk? A voice cuts through my head.
I sit up right and look around the room. The only thing I find is the flickering of the fireplace against the walls.
The same voice chuckles and speaks again, No I am not in the room with you my mate.
“How are you doing this?” I ask in my head.
The daemati gift, and of course, I am your mate. The High Lord croons.
“Get out of my head” I grumble.
But you called for me, I can feel your… excitement.
“Then you're mistaken,” I hiss.
We both know that’s not true darling.
“Goodnight,” I groan, rolling over to go to bed.
Goodnight, darling
The following days are long. Despite my better wishes there is a part of me that yearns to see the High Lord of Night again. I waltz through the spring court, picking flowers for the dinner table and evading Lucien’s advances. At night I find myself obsessively reading the romance novels I keep beside my bed. On one night in particular a certain scene in my book makes my toes curl and my thighs clench. My fingers skim the pages and the roughness of them is almost heightened.
My my my, what a dirty book. That voice croons into my mind.
“Get out of my head,” I gripe.
I can’t help myself when I feel your body react as it does. He purrs.
“How on earth can you ‘feel’ my body?” I roll my eyes.
Like this.
A tug reverberates through my body. Like there’s a string in the pit of my stomach that he just pulled. The sensation causes me to lose a breath as further arousal goes to my legs. He lets out a dark chuckle.
“Don’t ever do that again,” I order him
But you loved it so much, He purrs and I can practically feel him smirking in my head.
“You’re an insufferable bastard High Lord,” I growl at his persistence.
Call me Rhysand.
“I see no reason to drop informalities, my lord.” I quip back.
My name will fall from your lips one day, and when it does I’ll be sure to swallow it with my own. Until then, I’ll leave you with this. Goodnight darling.
I feel another tug at the bond reverberating through me and I nearly let out a moan at the feeling. I snuggle into my sheets that suddenly feel as if they are constricting around my body. I toss and turn and try to push all thoughts from my mind, but I can’t stop the idea of the High Lord's lips on mine. His night black hair in my hands, the way his moans might fall from those lips.
The next morning I take my breakfast in one of the lounge areas, still reeling from last night. My thoughts still wander to the image of his face, and how his eyes light me on fire. The door opens and a head of auburn hair pokes in.
“Forgive me, I didn’t know you were in here,” Lucien says like he has regret, yet he sits down across from me.
“No worries, I'm almost finished eating,” I reply, placing my tea down and getting ready to get up..
“And I secretly hoped to spend some time with you,” he sighs, sinking into the couch.
“Perhaps later, I wanted to read in the garden,” I stand and make my way towards the door.
“Perhaps now,” he growls. I feel a cold hand grasp my arm hauling me into the wall.
“Lucien,” I hiss as my back is pressed into the wall, his frame looming over mine.
“You are such a tease,” he smirks before kissing my neck hungrilly. His hands roam my body pulling me impossibly close.
“I’ve never once given you any inclination that I wanted you,” I gripe at him.
“That’s what makes you so desirable my dear,” he practically moans into my neck.
I gather my strength and push him off of me, “I’ll remind you that I am Tamlin’s little sister and while he favors you his favor only goes so far. One word from me and he’ll send you back to the Autumn Court.” I growl at him, and it seems to be enough as he backs away and leaves me to reel from what just happened in silence.
I sit down on the couch and take deep breaths to ground myself.
What’s going on? Are you alright? That voice like glorious night cuts through my mind and I almost feel thankful for how it brings me back to reality.
“Yes I’m fine,” I say back.
What happened? I felt your fear through the bond.
“It’s nothing, just Lucien.” I dismiss him.
Did he touch you?
I almost swore I heard anger laced in his voice. “Well I am his favorite plaything,” I roll my eyes.
And Tamlin allows him to touch you like this?
“As long as my virtue isn’t completely compromised so that I am still of value when he inevitably marries me off, yes. He doesn’t care.” I divulge, and quite stupidly I realize.
As if I needed another reason to hate him.
“He is still my brother, my Lord,” I remind him, though I secretly feel the same.
Don’t you mean, Rhysand?
“No I don’t, my Lord,” I say, drawing out the last words.
I’ll see you tomorrow my darling, I relish the idea of seeing you in the golden light of the day court.
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midnight reign II Ana Maria Crnogorčević x Reader
masterlist I word count: 976
a/n: thank you anon for sending this request we hope you all enjoy it.<3
warnings: 18+ smut
The rain has padded down rhythmically on the rooftop of your new home in Seattle.
You still needed to adjust to your new life in the US, but when your fiancée got the chance to play here you couldn’t not support it especially not when the Euros next year would be in her home country Switzerland.
The outside noise helped to calm your unruly soul and focus on the book in your hands until you heard the front door open.
“Amor, I’m home, where are you?”, Ana Maria announced cheerfully.
“In the living room.”, you replied smiling. After all the years together it still excited you when she returned from a football game. There was a happiness in the footballer’s voice now which you had missed in Madrid.
“Hi.”, she greeted you still a little breathless, her blonde hair slightly wet and curly from the rain, the Swiss woman looked beautiful against the warm glow of the lamps.
“Hey, great debut.”, you told her warmly but didn’t look up from your read much to the frustration of your fiancée.
“Thanks. It was really fun. I only wish I would have scored but the ball just never came right to me.”, Ana Maria admitted as she let herself fall right next to you on the dark green sofa.
“You’ll score in time you always do.”, you tried to encourage her, as your free hand absent mindedly stroke through her hair while your eyes were set on your currently reading.
“Yes, I’m sure. I just can’t wait to finally score for the reigns.”, the blonde confessed moving her head to rest it on your chest.
“I understand that.”, you whispered empathetically. With an amused twinkle in your fiancée’s eyes, she took the book away from you.
“Hey, I was reading that!”, you protested laughing trying to get it back.
“You’re not even listening to me.”, Ana Maria shook her head firmly.
“I’m listening to you, but the romance was just getting spicy!”, you defended yourself.
“Spicy, huh?”, the footballer smirked.
“And very dramatic as well.”, you added with a wink.
“How about I’ll show you spicy?”, she asked you in a conspiratorial tone.
“You mean spicy in a non-fiction kind of way.”, you returned her question innocently.
“Exactly that.”, the older woman nodded in satisfaction. Finally, Ana Maria had your whole attention, which was what she graved all evening. The adrenaline of the first few minutes back on the pitch was still pulsing through her veins.
“I’m coming.”, you declared.
“Good because I hate waiting almost as much as being ignored.”
“I know I was in Madrid when both things happened to you.”, you remembered with a pinch of sadness.
The spicy romance book slipped away from the forwards hands and landed softly on the floor.
“Okay, time to shut you up.”, she decided determined.
Her gaze was trained on you, almost predatory. This was enough to make the throbbing between your legs start.
“Glad to see you’re back.“, you teased.
“Now come here.“, Ana whispered, her voice raspy as she moved closer to you.
You back pressed against the armrest of the sofa. You grinned at her: “Is that the moment where you’re stopping me from talking any further?”
The impatience took over, you finally wanted to feel Anas lips on yours, her hands on your body.
Ana nodded slowly: “Absolutely.“
And suddenly you got what you wanted. She pressed her lips on your mouth, hard and hungry.
You slightly parted your lips, making space for her tongue.
Simultaneously, you wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling her in until she was almost on top of you. You could feel the heat your girlfriends body radiated through your clothes. If your tongue wasn’t so busy, you would make a joke about her hotness.
Ana started to press her thigh between your legs, grinding and moving against you. You moaned into the kiss. You could feel yourself getting wet from her rhythmic movement but it wasn’t enough. It left you longing for more.
Your girlfriend could apparently feel your desperation. She stopped and moved off of you.
Licking her lips, she pushed your shirt upwards. Her hands lingered on your naked skin, her thumbs rubbing across the smooth surface of your waist, sending a shiver down your spine.
Finally, she pulled down your pants. Her head disappeared between your thighs as she provided some sweet relief with her tongue.
The thumb of one hand continued to rub small circles against your clitoris, the other laid on your thing, her gold rings digging into your skin.
You closed your eyes, letting the wave of arousal and excitement wash over you. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer and closer. Until you finally reached the climax.
A moan of relief escaped your lips as endorphins started to flood your body and you melted right in to Anas arms. You tried to train your eyes on her through the blissful haze.
Ana flashed you a victorious smile and admired her work. You loved everything about it, from the way strands of hair clung to her forehead to her now slightly puffy pink lips. Just looking at her, you immediately wanted to return the favour.
You removed the last of your clothes and got up from the sofa. Your girlfriend watched you with curious eyes and a smirk, she knew what would be coming next.
You stood in front of her, fully undressed, and leaned down to kiss her while she was still seated on the sofa.
Her hands ran down the natural curves of your body, blue eyes looking up at you with desire.
With one swift movement, you took her hands in yours and pulled her up before directing her towards the bedroom.
Your book laid forgotten on the floor. Who needed fiction when your girlfriend was right there?
#ana maria crnogorcevic imagine#ana maria crnogorcevic x reader#ana maria crnogorcevic#woso x reader#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso#woso community#woso fanfic#woso blurbs#swiss wnt#seattle reign#woso smut#woso oneshot
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Number One Fan - Teaser
Pairing: Writer Y/N x Yandere Jungkook
Genre: Yandere/Horror Fic
Warnings: This is gonna be a pretty dark one, so I’m going to put content warnings and disclaimers each chapter. There aren’t any in this one :)
Word count: 1.5k
Synopsis - After a serious car crash, novelist Y/N is rescued by former nurse Jeon Jungkook, who claims to be her biggest fan. Jungkook brings her to his remote cabin to recover, where his obsession takes a dark turn when he discovers Y/N is killing off his favourite character from her novels. As Y/N devises plans for escape, Jungkook grows increasingly controlling.
- Ryeon <3
Teaser
Your feet were aching. The torn-up flesh on the souls of your bare feet pound on the mossy patches of the forest floor. The foul mixture of half melted snow and mud seeped into your wounds. It hurts. But you don’t care.
Your lungs feel as though they would shrivel up at any moment. Each inhale feels like fie and acid pooling in your chest. Your poor heart is doing all that it can to keep going. As are you.
Your skin was damp with sweat. The once warm perspiration that seeped out of you now clung to your clothes, making you cold. You felt as though you had been running for hours.
But you couldn’t stop. You mustn’t stop running. You had to get away from him.
You only had one chance to escape and this was it.
You knew that if he caught you, that would be the end of the game. And you will have lost.
A game.
That’s what this was.
That’s what everything in your life was and always had been.
And you’d always lost. Cause you never paid attention.
Even now, as your life is in peril, you couldn’t help but think back to a moment in your past. Where distraction had gotten you in trouble.
You couldn’t have been any older than thirteen.
You must have been. Because your teacher was Mr. Kim. The teacher whose breath smelled like coffee and Newport cigarettes. A vile combination.
You remembered so distinctly because in this particular instance, this breath blew into your face as his was about 10 centimeters away from yours.
He was scolding you, pretty severely, because you had been caught jotting down stories while in his math class.
You were always doing that. Always doing the wrong thing at the wrong times. Always going left when everyone else was going right. And it almost always got you in trouble, but this time was different. This time was worse.
Mr. Kim was adamant that you had done this one too many times. You remember he had said:
“Y/N get your nose out of your book. Writing these silly little stories is going to get you nowhere. You need to learn to pay attention, young lady. Since you aren’t taking my warnings seriously, it may be time to escalate the matter”.
Your palms began to clam up, as you knew what this meant.
“I’ll need to contact your mother”
At that moment everything seemed to move in slow motion. Panic began to set in as you knew a phone call to mother would be a step beyond a death sentence.
“Take this note to the principal’s office, I shall be in shortly so we can organize a discussion with your mother”
Your mother was not a nice woman. Not nice at all.
Nothing good would come of this and you knew what fate awaited you in the grim future.
So, you did the only thing you knew how to do. You ran. You ran as fast as your little legs could carry you.
Mr. Kim handed you the note and as soon as the door closed, you were off.
You ran to the only place you knew solace. A woodland area behind your school.
Your school was built in 1898. The old girl had seen some things. Horrific things.
Back in the 1900s these woods were used as a hunting grounds. The older students would come out here and hunt deer and rabbits. Now, it was just a place where the older girls would come out here and smoke cigarettes at lunchtimes. The ones that were brave enough, that is.
There was something dark about these woods. There was nothing about the woodlands that looked outwardly abnormal, there was just too much of it. Like a smile with too many teeth. Not to you though, to you it was freedom. Solace. Peace.
Maybe you were just drawn to dark things.
You ran deep into the coppices. Past the brook and beyond the abandoned mill. You perched yourself under the large oak tree. Inhaling and exhaling hard as the running mixed with the panic had your heartrate going a million miles per hour. But now you could rest at lease for a while.
It’s funny really. Even when your life was in danger your mind wondered away. You guess Mr. Kim had every right to be concerned.
“Y/N! Why Are you running, baby?!”
Fuck. His voice sounded so close. Too close.
His footsteps hammering on the same crushed, now blood-soaked, snow, leaves and moss-covered ground.
“You know I’m going to catch up with you. Why are you doing this?! I thought you were happy with me!”
Christ. Why was he doing this?
“Look Y/N. I’m sorry if you weren’t comfortable, we can make changes baby just please come back.”
Through the trees you can make out a light ahead of you. Not much further to go.
“Baby, we don’t have to tie you to the bed anymore! Please, Y/N, you’re still injured! It’s not safe for you to be running when your feet haven’t healed properly”
‘Because of you, you sick fuck’ you screamed inside your head. You wanted to scream at him but all your focus needed to be on running.
“Just stop now and your punishment won’t be too bad”
Oh god. He sounded just like her.
The earth and muck beneath your feet had changed to concrete. A road! You’ve don’t it, you reached the road.
You try to take another step onto the cold wet asphalt but your feet fail you. True to his word, your feet hadn’t heeled yet and the adrenaline keeping your pain at bay had worn off.
You collapsed on the floor, the dull pain in your ankles paralyzing you.
You hear his footsteps and his heavy panting behind. In horror, you drag yourself further onto the road. You can’t give up; this can’t be the end.
“I will say Y/N, I admire your spirit” his slightly exasperated voice still sounded sickly sweet.
“I’ve always admired that about you. You never give up on anything. But yet you gave up on us. I don’t think that’s very fair, do you, my love?” he walks towards you, at a petrifyingly slow pace.
This is it. You’ve lost. Certain this was your last moments; you close your eyes. A tear, you hadn’t released had been at bay rolled down your cheek.
You listed to the birds in the distance and the soft patter of rain and you couldn’t help but think back again. You couldn’t help but think back to how you got here. How it came to be that you would die like this.
At the hands of Jeon Jungkook. Your number one fan.
This is gonna be a wild ride! Im so happy to be back writing again~ Hope you all enjoy!
This fic is loosely based on one of my favourite movies: ‘Misery’
Let me know if you want to be added to a tag list 🤍
#jeon jungkook#jeongguk#jungkook#bts fanfic#jeon jungguk#jeon jeongguk fic#jungkook x reader#bts fic#bts x reader#jungkook yandere#yandere jungkook au#bts jungkook yandere#jungkook yandere au#yandere jungkook#yandere!jungkook#yandere#jeongguk x reader#jeon jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#jungkook angst#bts jeongkook#jeon jeongguk#jungkook fic recs
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animal crossing and alien noises <3
request: hi! i hope ur doing well, i love ur acc and i wanted to ask if you can do some shota x reader fluff,,, maybe he sneaks into ur room to cuddle and talk :)) 💗
p1harmony shota haku (soul) x gn!reader
wc: 705
summary: Shota comes home late to find you comfy and he can't resist melting into the warm bed with you, a bubble of love blocking off the outside world.
a/n: hii anon!! thank you so much for this request, it was super soft annd i really enjoyed writing it, so i hope you enjoy it lots <3
Shifting around in bed as you bury yourself into the blankets, the switch sitting in your hand lights up. Soft music chimes out as your island comes into view, Animal Crossing displayed. It was just past 11pm, only a few minutes after Soul had sent you a text.
‘Are you still awake? 〵(•́ ꞈ •̀)〴’
‘Yeah m’ just in bed now, do you have yer key? ♡’
‘Yesss!! cya 15 mins ʚ(*´꒳`*)ɞ’
Knowing he probably freshened up at the company you got comfortable checking through your island to pass time. Quiet chimes of the music fills the space as the side lamp gives a warm glow to the room and before you knew it, the telltale sound of keys jingling could be heard.
Footsteps down the hall as your eyes follow a dark spot in the water, trying to get close enough to trigger a fishing event without scaring it off. The sound of footsteps and water splashing rise and suddenly stop as the screen reads out ‘I caught a sea bass- no, wait! This is at least a C+’ making you scrunch your nose.
As you glare down at the sea bass with terrible puns, Shota stands leaned against the doorframe admiring you. The cute face you're making at the screen, how comfy you look curled up in bed, the light illuminates you so perfectly, gently kissing your skin Shota bites back a wide smile. When you finally look up, locking eyes with him as he moves towards you.
“Hi baby, welcome home.” You whispered out as he settled into bed, allowing himself to get tangled within the blankets and you, throwing an arm over your belly to pull you flush against him. “How was practice? Are the boys doing well?” Shota gave quiet recounts of his day, not wanting to ruin the calming environment you’d had created. He’d talk about funny stories of recording with Theo and Keeho, how Jiung and Intak kept teasing each other during practice, and the new moves he created with Jongseob. You nodded along as you continued your little tasks in the game, Shota watching intently.
It was only after you finished showing off your latest creation of a heart shaped pond did you notice that he had stopped talking and was watching you instead of the game, making your face heat up at the sudden attention.
Shutting it down and putting it aside you turn back to him,“What’s up Sho?” Mumbling out as you slide further into the bed, shifting around until you're laid on his chest, leg thrown over his, peering up through your lashes until it’s his turn to shyly avert his eyes away from your stare.
Nudging your chin into his chest to bring his attention back to you, you ask again, “What’s on your mind baby?”. It seemed so intimate, the way you whisper it, soft eyes looking up at him as he wraps his arms to press you almost impossibly closer to him. “I love you so much.” He says barely above a whisper as he locked eyes with you, a toothy smile spreading.
A wave of warmth hits you as you bury your face in his chest, caught off guard by the confession. “You can’t just say that all of a sudden…” The words are muffled by his shirt but still causes an airy laugh to escape him. “You asked, didn't you?” Shota said, still amused by your reaction, “I’m just really grateful to come home to you, Y/n.” You could feel his heartbeat under your fingertips, the warm feeling infectious as he pressed a kiss to your temple. “I love you too, my alien.” Huffing out one of his signature noises, you’d smile attempting to echo it back to him.
A home filled to the brim with warmth and love. Shota runs his hand up and down your back, sometimes stopping to draw patterns on your skin as your palm smooths against his cheek brushing his hair. Eventually your eyelids start to get heavier, as your breathing steadily falls into deep sleep, Shota holds you close whispering out “I’ll love you forever.” before shutting off the lights, joining you in dreamland.
i hope you enjoyed, please like/comment/reblog as any interactions is greatly appreciated and motivating! ©mini-mews
#ryu scribbles#p1harmony#haku shota#soul#piwon#p1h#p1harmony x reader#soul x reader#shota x reader#piwon x reader#soul fluff#shota fluff#piwon fluff#p1h fluff#p1h x reader#soul haku#p1harmony fluff#p1harmony x you#p1h soul#piwon soul#piwon imagines#piwon x you
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The One with the Scary Game
Word Count: 546
Rating: General with fluffy scenes. SFW!
Summary: MJ encourages you to play FNaF. What could possibly go wrong?
Dom!Natasha Romanoff, Dom!Wanda Maximoff, Dom!Carol Danvers x Sub!Reader
(I swear I got an ask for this, but can I find it? No. I remember it being along the lines of Natasha hearing Baby shouting: "Mommy!" and coming rushing to her aid. It's not the best thing I've written but I hope you all enjoy nonetheless)
xoxo
You really should stop listening to MJ.
It’s becoming a serious problem.
Especially for your heart.
Even if you do want to murder her.
“It’s not that scary,” You mimic MJ’s voice, pulling a face. “You’ll be fine, they’re only cuddly animatronics. What’s the worst that could happen?”
You’re standing on the sofa, nervously bouncing as you re-check the cameras, begging Chica and Bonnie to stay away.
“C’mon 6am. C’mon 6am…”
Someone slams the fridge door and it startles you.
“Can you not!” You glance quickly back at Carol who’s smirking.
“Sorry, little one. Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Sure you didn’t.”
You get laugh as a response as Carol leaves you to your game.
“C’mon 6am…c’mon…”
Your hands are so clammy it’s no joke.
“5am! How is it still 5am?”
You check the cameras again, letting out a whimper when you spot Freddie on the move too.
“NO! C’mon now!”
You exhale shakily.
“Mommy…mommy…mommy…” It comes out in a quiet chant. “Mooommmyyyy.”
You frantically check the doors, letting out an incoherent string of words when you stop Bonnie in time.
“I can do this…I can do this…”
You really think you are.
Convinced you’re about the beat the third night, when you hear a laugh.
Your body freezes up and you’re about to ask yourself what that was, when Freddie pops out of nowhere, scaring the soul right out of your body.
You scream at the top of your lungs.
Shouting: “MOMMY!” as your controller is launched into the air; toppling off the sofa in a tangle of limbs.
You lie there.
Mortified.
Envisioning the different ways you can murder MJ for telling you to play this game.
The main light is switched on as Natasha comes sprinting into the room, blinding you momentarily.
“Who died?!”
A sad noise leaves you.
And you point to the screen that says GAME OVER.
“I did...”
“Oh detka…” Natasha walks over to where you’re lying on the floor and offers her hand down to you. “I warned you not to play it in the dark.”
“Yeah, I know.” You allow her to help you up and quickly wrap your arms around her.
“Do I want to know why you shouted my title at the top of your lungs?” She asks, looking at you. “Got a secret kink you need to share with us?”
You bark out a laugh and playfully shove the red head away.
“Nerd. I do not have a - no - I just, shut up.”
Natasha just laughs at you and pulls you in for another cuddle.
“My brave girl, hmm?”
It takes you a second to reply.
“...yes.”
“How ‘bout we leave the scary game for today? Wanna have a bubble bath with mommy?”
Your eyes light up.
“With candles?”
“Anything my sweet baby wants. Wanna race?”
“You’re on!”
Natasha smiles lovingly, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Wanna do the count down or shall I do it?”
“You can this time.” You reply.
“Ready?” You nod in reply. “3…2...1…Go!”
Natasha darts off as you attempt to leap over the sofa.
Your giggles fill the quiet apartment as you dart up the stairs, just behind Natasha.
“Get back here, Romanoff!”
“Gotta be quicker than that, baby girl! I’m gonna win!”
You let her win.
Totally.
#natasha romanoff#sugar mommies#reader insert#spiderbites#sugar mommies!asks#smu#little liv writes!#sugar mommies drabble#smu universe
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The Baby Project Chapter 3
Izuku Midoriya x reader
chapter one, chapter two
Summary: Izuku declares, “I’m right here.” Like it’s the most natural thing to him. tw: Dead beats, pee, angst and fluff, idk what else. Izuku and mc will be fast paced but it's alright.
You jolt awake by a baby’s scream. You gasp and look around for the source of the vicious noise in the dark. You pat around for your phone, totally believing it’s some demonic alarm clock. A sniffle in the dark knocks that theory out. Immediately, you take your eye mask off and go to his bassinet. “What’s wrong, little ma-”
He’s bigger and busting out of his onesie. You unbuckle it and take it off as carefully as you can. “It’s okay, it’s okay.”
He has red marks on his legs and arms from the tightness of the clothing. You rub them in an attempt to soothe him then fit him into a new diaper. It’s good luck that you accidentally got the wrong size that one time. “Poor baby,”
You kiss his head, talking low and calmly. “I know, it’s rough growing up. It’s even tougher when you don’t understand it.”
He starts to calm down and is able to no longer have his head totally supported. It raises a little then settles back down as he is close to your chest. “Are you okay, now? You only got a diapy on!” You say in a light tone, making him huff. You pepper him with kisses and set him back down. Since he’s bigger, you check him and see that it still says four months.
“You ate your Wheaties or something?” Something isn’t right. He’s bigger than the average four month old yet shows nothing in his age. He can even hold his head up completely.
You kiss his forehead and see him look up at him with what you could swear is love. His face is still chubby and his eyes still sparkle. If it weren’t for the school insisting on it, you’d swear there is a soul behind those eyes. You go to your desk and flip the flower lamp on. Underneath it is the paper part of the project. It asks questions of each month, the costs, and experiences. How far did the age jump and when. That part’s redundant since Hatsume is tracking the exact time and ages. Then again, this entire project is dumb so why wouldn’t there be dumb questions?
“I better write all of this down.” So, you do. You finally start to do that part of the assignment. Write your experience on the paper and his milestones. It’s early in the morning now and Noa is quick to rest again, funnily enough. You decide to leave out Kaibara’s lack of involvement since they already know that. You still can’t believe you told the teachers. You can’t believe he got aggressive with you because he didn’t like pink on his son. Now, it’s like a waiting game to see Kaibara’s next move. It’s the suspense and the end result. Facing him head on is of course nerve wracking, but the ending is scary.
The fluffy pen grazes across the paper effortlessly as you reminisce. This project started just recently, and you’ve already learned so much about babies and life. You just wish you didn’t have to learn it this way. You wish the heroes would actually care about anyone but themselves. Then again, they have let too many people slip through the cracks to erase that possibility.
You fall asleep at your desk. Drool slides out your mouth and onto the surface and part of the paper. Noa is quiet, resting peacefully in Yona’s gifted bed. You had a dreamless sleep once again. The birds tweet as the sun pokes through your curtains. You turn your head and sigh. The door knocks hurriedly, waking you up fully. You wipe the drool from your mouth and walk to the door with shaky legs. “What?” Your voice is thick with sleep and sand in your eyes.
“Where were you?” Riko stands in front of you. You blink a couple of times to register it. “You’re back!”
“Yeah, and you weren’t. Where were you?”
You notice her uniform. “What? What time is it?”
“Noon! Snipe is looking for you and wanted me to get you.” Your alarm didn’t go off. Noa would have let you know with a wail if something woke him up. “M-my alarm-” you rush to your bedside and see the device blank.
It was set, you’re sure of it. Your eyes look around and see some things have moved. Did you really have a dreamless sleep? You look at Noa and wonder if quirks can affect them since they’re so life like.
“Oh shit…okay, I’ll get ready. Tell him I’m coming.” You look around dazed then grab your bathing items. When you go to grab Noa, Riko stops you. “Can I do it?”
You’d prefer her to handle Snipe but you’re not going to argue. “Sure. I’ll just be a moment, I promise.” You wondered why she would want to given what happened. After your extremely fast shower, you brush your teeth and switch rooms with Riko. Noa babbles and blows bubbles at you. He seems to be a friendly baby. First, he’s fond of Izuku then Riko.
You do the bare minimum with your appearance which bothers the shit out of you, but you are way out of time. “Can’t believe it. I can’t believe I missed school like this.”
“There are plenty more classes to go, miss drama.” She looks confused at the stash of diapers. “What’s this?”
“Special Hatsume diapers. He’s allergic to normal ones,” She raises a brow. You nod. “I know, right? So far, it’s been a pain in the ass to afford.”
She holds up different shirts to him. “Which one, eh? Blue or black?” She pokes his toes, making him laugh. “Black? You sure?”
Putting the finishing touches on yourself, you watch her and Noa. She's a natural and seems to be having fun with him. “You sure you don’t want to do this? I know what that thing did but…I’m sure Snipe will understand.” You don’t blame her for quitting at all. Whatever the grape bastard did, it was enough to traumatize Riko and deserve his fate with the school. Not to mention his hero career.
“No. He completely ruined it for me. I’ll wait for the real thing.” She lifts Noa up and shows you her work. You smile at them. “Dazzling, simply dazzling.”
“I know, I know.” Noa reaches for her turquoise hair. “You sure? You’re great at this, Riko. I don’t think it’s too late.”
She shakes her head. “No. I’ll wait,” Noa finally reaches his goal of pulling her hair. “The things he was doing were too much. I’ll settle for being an aunt right now.”
“I understand. And,” You walk up to her. “I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs sooner.” At the time, the assignment had just started. In a short span, the grape had hurt her. During class she was quiet when her phone went off. There were times she would suck in her lips and look straight ahead. You thought it was because she was afraid of getting in trouble. Now that this all came out, it was clear that she was trying not to cry. That alone makes you want to beat the shit out of the grape, his friends, and his teacher. He should have been gone a long time ago. Why did they wait until it was at the expense of Riko?
You pack Noa’s things in the diaper bag and head out the door after Riko. “It’s no problem, peach. Thanks for not asking for details.” You pause and look back at her. Suddenly, a pretty face comes to mind.
“Ema?”
“Of course, the little demon.” You let out a short laugh. “You love her anyway.”
As the two of you make your way to class, you walk slower and ask, “I don’t need to know the details but…if you need counseli-”
“Counseling?”
“Yes, counseling. Mental health is extremely important. Even if you think it’s nothing or that your pain isn’t serious, take the time and care for yourself. If you need a professional, it’s no one’s business but your own.”
She sucks in her lips. “I’ll think about it.”
Inside the school, you pass students to head to your floor. On the way, Riko is lighthearted, happy and has a pep to her step while holding Noa. Now that he's more developed, he has more expressions. Not a single one has been sad except for the Kaibara incident.
The minute you walk in class with Noa in Riko’s arms still, Snipe tries to calm your classmates down. You move your hands to get them to settle down. “I know, I know. Leave your offerings on the table.”
Benio smirks. “I'm liable to kiss you, puppy.” You sigh. “After class, Benny. When I can get handsy.”
Snipe growls for you to be quiet and points to your seat. The air is lighter in the class. The stress and frustration are obviously still here, but the load is lifting now that you spoke up about their partners’ behavior.
You didn’t expect this. You can see some of your classmates without their babies. The heroes must have them to prove something. All except for Kirishima who has been great from the start.
Benio still has his baby girl. She sits on the side of him, content. She mainly looks like him already, only having Yaoyorzoru's eyes. You smile at how she's looking at him. Starry eyes and all. For a robotic baby, they sure are life-like. If she were real, she’d definitely be a daddy’s girl.
Looking around and seeing how much the babies have grown makes you proud. A lot of them are doing it on their own and they've gotten pretty far.
There's a knock on the door. It opens and Kirishima steps in, quietly asking for Ema. He whispers, “We have training right now and it's not safe. I also have my internship later.”
“It's okay. Talk to you later?” Kirishima nods and apologizes for the interruption. He kisses the baby goodbye and waves at everyone. Everyone says goodbye in unison.
“Why couldn't I have that? Instead, I got stuck with Kaminari.” Jule puts his hand on his hips. You can't help but laugh yet at the same time, remember how much it hurts him that he doesn't have that.
________________________
“So, U.A. stepped up and told the hero students about themselves?” Riko asks then shoves some food in her mouth. You swallow some of your water. “Yep. Apparently, there were some that were very involved, so they didn’t get docked points. Everyone else got punished.”
“Yeah, thankfully they’re stepping up!” Ema gives a slight bounce. Kirishima has been a great partner and was even commended for such.
Benio scoffs. “Whatever.” He hasn't touched his food, and that plate is looking real tempting. You stretch out your fork to grab some of the beef from his lunch. He smacks your hand. You grumble. “Probably cold and nasty anyway…just like you.”
And here you were having dirty thoughts about him. You side eye your friend and what could have been. You shake your head. "We could've had it all." Riding into the sunset on a tropical island or something. With pina coladas...getting caught in the rain, we're not much into health food, we are into champagne-
"Will you stop?" They don't appreciate you in any way, shape or hum of a 70s song. One day they'll miss you.
He goes silent and takes a deep breath. “She only has her for like two seconds to show her off then hands her back to me even if she's not doing anything!”
The table remains silent, intent on listening. “It’s just frustrating. Whenever we have to do that report-”
“Report?” You perk up and a heavy worry starts to settle in. It can’t be that report. There’s no way that your progress report needs to be turned in. You thought it would be like a journal, something to turn in at the end. “Our progress papers are supposed to be turned in.”
“Son of a bit-”
Ema sighs. “He was talking! I’ll help you after, (Y/n). Jeez. Continue Benio.”
“Whenever we do the report, she comes up, looks at my notes, corrects my grammar and turns it in. She’s literally copying my homework.”
You wince. Hearing his story, it makes you even more nervous. You’ve written some of the progress down but not everything and haven’t turned anything in. Not only that, but it is a partnered report.
“Her attitude changed a little but I’m still mad about it. All this time and it took for her to get points deducted for her to notice how wrong she is? Even now, where is she?”
His frustration isn’t unwarranted. Look at how they’ve been acting. And it is irritating that it took this to have them wake up.
Riko finishes her plate. “I'll help out. Sometimes, though.”
Benio looks up at her with a smile on his face. He nods and mutters a thanks. Noa starts to get fussy again. “Baby boy, speak in a language I can understand, please.”
You fed him with what formula you had left, changed him, all of it. Speaking of formula…
“I'm out of milk and I need more. I'll talk to you guys later! And Benny,” You kiss his cheek, much to his shock. “If you want, I’ll beat her ass.”
“Ha, yeah. While you’re at it, get a gummy from Recovery Girl after she floors you.”
Up the stairs you feel a familiar presence. Izuku walks behind you with his books in his hand. He's looking down at the steps, not realizing you're there until he is two steps behind you.
He calls your name surprised. “Is that Noa? He's gotten so big!” He strolls up to you and coos at Noa. “May I?”
You hand Noa over to him and trade for his books. “You don't have to. I can do it.”
“You're carrying my grade. I'm not risking it.” The two of you walk to the support course. You suck on your teeth and head inside, hoping Mei Hatsume doesn't get on your fucking nerves. She's not a bad person, she's just a little much.
“Mei? Mei!” You call out. She rounds the corner with a big grin. “Midoriya!”
“Oh hell no, Mei. Me first. Don't touch him.” She whines and groans. “Why not! I haven't seen him in forever!”
“No. You haven't tested on him in forever. I need help first. Touch him later.”
“Do I get a say?” Izuku’s voice is quiet. “No.” You and Mei say in unison. She asks what you need, already working on another one of her “babies”.
“Formula, please.”
“Oh, that reminds me!” She goes to a small desk with a desktop computer. There are only papers next to it, no doohickeys or thingamabobs. It's unusual for her and her chaotic nature.
“I need to speed you up.”
“For what?” Mei continues to click the mouse then types on the keyboard. She answers, “Yeah, the care levels are looking good so we're moving it along.”
He's at four months already. Suddenly, in Izuku’s arms, Noa grows again. Izuku’s face is bright. “This is-!”
“My beautifully amazing baby!” Mei practically jumps. You stare in shock at how he's grown. “Did he grow in age, yet?”
“How do I check?” Izuku looks all around Noa. His large hand cradles his head gently as he searches.
“Izuku, I don't think you have to support his head anymore.” Izuku slightly lifts Noa up as if he wanted you to give him another look. “You sure? I mean, he’s so small.” Izuku tilts his head and his eyebrows drawn.
“Check his tummy!” Mei calls out as she starts to speed walk away. You turn to her and yell, “Wait! I still need some!”
She tosses the items to you. Izuku catches it right before it hits your face. Hatsume hasn’t charged you yet.
“Um, Mei? The total?” You dig in your bag and stop when Mei says, "On me this time.”
“W-why?”
She’s quiet this time. Not whispering or anything, but calmer.
“It was brave to stand up to Kaibara and the staff. So, I’ll take this one.” She turns to leave. Noa babbles and claws Izuku’s face. His delicate fingers pull on his freckled cheek. Izuku doesn’t seem to mind at all. You give a breathy laugh and scratch your head.
“Um, check his belly. It’ll say how old he is.”
He looks to you. “Can you hold him for a second while I take my jacket off?” You raise a brow but do it nonetheless. Izuku folds his jacket and places it on the desk. “Alright, I’m ready.”
You suck in your lips and try not to smile. He’s so gentle with Noa. Izuku finally sees his belly. “Four months.”
Disappointment and confusion settle in. What did she mean by speeding it up if the screen still says four months?
“But he’s grown…” Izuku shrugs and buttons him up. “That’s no worry! The fact he’s gotten a little bigger shows that it’ll happen soon.”
------
“Are you sure you don't want me to walk you?” His voice is shy. Borderline nervous. “Yeah, Izuku. It's alright. Thank you for holding him.”
He stares at you with a shine in his eyes. A smile is on his lips then he shakes his head and says, “It's no problem! I can help anytime!” There is a flush to his freckle cheek. Is this a medical condition? “Thanks,” You stare into his emerald eyes. “Sad that you're here more than Kaibara.”
His name is bitter on your tongue. Izuku raises a brow. “Is he still mad?”
You haven't talked to him since this started. Him and the rest of the course are bitter beyond belief. What did you expect? Of course he'd be mad. You were (are) mad but it's all real. You're scared, tired, and frustrated. Everything you said needed to be told. It isn’t your fault that the rest of the hero partners got in trouble for their own failures. Now, Kaibara is ignoring you all together.
“Do you have his number by chance?” You hold onto Izuku’s jacket and hold the door open for him as the two of you leave the support course’s lab.
“No, sorry. I only have a few from class B.”
Shit. You lick your lips slowly. You want to talk to him, to let him know about the report and for him to see Noa, to at least hold him. “I need to go to class.”
You set his books and jacket down on the floor to adjust your wrap that's been hanging loosely behind you. “Do you think he's old enough to be carried on my back?”
Izuku freezes. “I-is that safe?” He hangs onto Noa, rubbing his back. You chuckle at how he seems like a nervous new mother.
“Okay, I'll just do the front then.”
“Oh, thank God.” Noa babbles some more. Noa is more vocal and that'll increase as time goes on. You have to remember to practice with him.
Noa messes with Izuku’s hair again. You study him as he moves his focus from Izuku's hair to his face. Noa tugs on the hero's cheek. Izuku is close to you, and you don’t know what to do. You can feel his body heat and one step closer his heartbeat. He doesn't notice in the slightest or just doesn't care.
“You know, even if he is one of Mei’s babies, he’s adorable.” Izuku pokes Noa’s chubby cheek.
--------------
The day went by fast and the next is no better. By now, you’re walking into the cafeteria after catching Snipe after class.
You walk into the cafeteria after your short talk with Snipe. You didn't know to turn in your progress report, so you said that you’d give it to him at the end of the day. Unfortunately, it’s a partnered thing. So, given what happened with Kaibara, you thought he’d give you some leniency. Nope. Mr. Snipe is clearly pissed at how you talked to him when this whole thing came out. Finally, after a few seconds of scolding, you ducked out the door and rolled your eyes. You have had enough of heroes. And to be honest, you're mad at Snipe. When this assignment is done, you won't look at him or any of the other teachers the same.
You spot your friends at their usual table and notice that Yaomomo is heading over there, and she is actually holding Kobeni. Your jaw drops. Right when you walk over, Ema calls your name.
“Sit with us!” You find her with Kirishima and his crew, including Izuku who is animatedly talking to Kirishima. “I'm good.”
“Please!” You roll your eyes and say, “Fine. But I got to talk to you know who.”
“Oh…”
You search around and finally find him talking with Kendo who waved him goodbye. You head over to Kaibara and bite your lips nervously. This is the first time you’ve talked to him since you snitched. His eyes flicker to you and his face settles into a quick frown then changes his expression. It's amazing how fast he can do that.
“Kaibara, can we talk?” You want your voice to sound a lot stronger than what came out.
“Sure.” He guides you out of the large, student filled room. You notice the glances and maybe even venomous looks given. Whether it’s to you or Kaibara, they’re there. You wouldn’t be surprised if it is you that they hate. However, a lot of them aren’t hero students. So, why would anyone from the other courses have a grudge against you?
The two of you go out of the door and turn down the short hallway. At the end is another glass door that leads to the courtyard of the school, with luscious green grass and not a speck of litter in sight. He doesn’t hold the door open for you and Noa and you don’t expect him to. It’s quiet for a moment until he opens his mouth. “Are you having fun?”
“What?” There’s a heavy ball in your gut. He cocks his head to the right. “You must be. Everyone’s patting your back while my reputation gets shit on. I mean, you have to be pretty proud of yourself.”
You shake your head. “No, I’m not proud-”
“Yet you did it anyway? Did you forget that actions have consequences?”
You’re trying to hold your anger in since Noa is present. “Getting scolded was yours. What you did was deplorable, and you know it.”
He starts to laugh. You look around for a mirror to see if he's watching how much of a clown he is because this isn't funny.
“What’s so funny?”
“Ha, ha! Nothing, I just didn't expect a waitress to know that word." Your mouth drops. “First of all, customer service workers deserve respect, including me. So, let’s put that down. Second, now I know why you are so triflingly ugly. This fucking attitude. Third, the reason your reputation is getting shit on is because you deserve it.”
He rubs his face. “This is based on real life, right? Our future? My future?”
“Duh.”
“Then, you would ruin a future because of a disagreement?”
“Futu- disagreement? What the hell are you talking about? Explain.” God, if Noa was not in your arms...
“Everyone’s been giving me shit because of you. Including my mentor. By the way, he’s reconsidering my internship, so thanks for that. Because of your dramatics-”
“Un-explain.” He stops his rant to look at you. “You jeopardized our grade and are still doing it with you not participating! This is on you, not me.”
“You act like he’s real. Like he’s an actual human being who has to be watched all of the time. I left him alone and he was fine.”
Your nose flares as your anger begins to boil over. Suddenly, you stop when his words set in. “When you took care of him? He was alone?”
He claps his hands slowly. “Amazing how you remember that now but not when you were ruining m-”
“You left him alone?” You yell. Noa hasn't made a sound.
Kaibara steps closer. “He isn’t real. This is just a grade, and you decided it was best to ruin my future for a grade. And it isn’t even a major one.”
He left him alone. Is that why he’s stuck at four months old? Did Kaibara do something? He stops and gives a fake sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry I hurt you and scared Noa, truly. But what you did was worse. How is that fair?”
And he's calling you dramatic?
You take a deep breath and try to get your mind back to the original topic, so you don’t really go off. “Now who’s being dramatic? You got in trouble. Your license hasn’t been taken away, dumbass.”
You stop tapping your foot when Noa caresses your face. “We have those reports due at the end of every month. I have the majority of mine written down, so I’d like for us to get together and do them but in order for that to happen, we need to work together.”
He doesn’t say anything for a second. Finally, he gives you that smile again. “I want what’s best for Noa.”
“Me too. So, you with me?” You’re stiff when your gut instinct senses something's wrong. He’s hiding something. Even though you are dealing with him, you think of the original cause. All this is because of Endeavor and his family. Now here you are dealing with this jackass and his fake smile. Because of the Todoroki's you now have to look at this illegal circus in front of you.
You want to finish this project and get a good grade, not have to deal with this delinquent.
“If it’s going to clean my reputation, that’s just a bonus. My kid matters, you know? How about this weekend?”
“I can’t this weekend. How about Monday after school? We can hang out and work on this.” You’re biting the inside of your cheek, hoping he won’t realize that you work this weekend. Yeah, you can move stuff around for him. But you don’t want to deal with him right now.
“Sure. Monday.”
You promised Snipe you'd hand it in today, but he'll just have to settle for it to be on Monday. That's bothersome but right now, you want to take fifty showers.
Looking at Sen's passive face, you notice that there is a small hopeful wish inside you. A little flame that goes way back. Now, you think you might be giving it to your son with this one question that was asked once years ago.
“Do you want to hold him?”
Kaibara rolls his eyes. “I’ll see him Monday, won’t I?”
You leave and head back into the cafeteria without an appetite.
-----
Inside, you sit quietly while the others talk. Ema was curious about your behavior but didn't question it. She will most likely bombard you with questions later. Right now, you sit in silence as the friends talk over each other about God knows what. The noise is almost enough to snap you out of your daze.
That encounter with Kaibara just doesn’t sit right with you. There’s something lurking underneath that you can’t put your finger on exactly. It’s definitely shady, though. Suddenly, a shrill cry snaps you out of your daze.
“Why are you crying, cherub?” You prop him up. “Support his head!” Izuku brings his hand to the back of Noa’s head. You almost forgot that Izuku was sitting next to you. “He’s fine. I’m telling you, Mei just messed up. He has to be more than four months old, he doesn’t need his head propped up. Besides, he’s done it before.”
“Still, you need to-wait, you let him do that? ”
“He’s fine-” His eye twitches before you can get your full answer out.
“No, give ‘im. You’re making me worry!” Izuku literally grabs Noa and before he can support your baby’s head, you tease, “See, you aren’t even holding it.”
“Ah!”
Izuku scrambles to hold him. Noa laughs and kicks his feet. Kirishima and the rest of the table follow. It’s a blessing that he’s a happy baby. There are dolls that have colic or are just plain onery. Also known as, Mira, Sakura and Bakugou's baby girl.
“Midoriya, please. He’s fine. A lot of babies around that age can hold them up.”
“You sure? He’s so small…” Izuku makes faces at the baby who sticks his tongue out, mimicking Izuku. Ema looks at you with a grin you can’t place. “You look good with Noa, doesn’t he?”
Kirishima looks at her for a second. “Yeah! Midoriya, aren’t you having fun with (Y/n), sorry, I meant Noa.”
“I am!” Izuku focuses back on Noa. Then, Noa begins to cry in Izuku’s hold. You pick up Izuku’s chopsticks and gather some rice from his katsudon. “He’s too young!”
“Let’s just try it.” You place a little rice in Noa’s mouth. Since he is getting bigger, it doesn't hurt to try solids, right?
Izuku’s about to scold you again until Noa chirps happily. He kicks his little legs and giggles. Izuku’s thick finger presses against Noa’s chin to encourage Noa to open his mouth. "Chew, Noa!"
"Izuku, I swear he's fine." You give Noa a little bit of the egg in the katsudon. Flavorful dishes like this aren't generally recommended at his age, but a little won't hurt a robot baby, right? Noa opens his mouth wide for more food much to your amazement. Izuku decides to join in on the fun and hand feed him some more white rice. "I guess I should be feeding you both now, huh?"
"Slowly, and not all the time-"
"Izuku, I know!" You groan. He chuckles nervously, slightly embarrassed. You quickly take out a notepad and write this down. "For the report." You say when you notice Izuku's eyes on you. "Do you want help?"
"You're doing enough, that's fine." Izuku cautiously lifts his hand away from Noa's neck. You roll your eyes and huff. He's acting more like a first time mom than you are! Izuku then grabs his phone and keeps it on Noa. "Maybe a recording will help? This is a milestone, right?"
You stop writing and laugh. Going along with Izuku's weird and probably useless plan, you feed Noa and abandon your note taking. Ema's chin is on her hands. "Aw..."
Noa sees the plate of rice next to him and grabs a handful. It's cute how his chubby hands grab the rice, turning it into mush. He squeals in delight at the flavor. Izuku captures every second of Noa's newest milestone. Suddenly, ruining the adorable scene, a horrendous smell interrupts it. "Oh my God!"
You and Kirishima start to gag. Izuku curses and lifts Noa away from him. Ema coughs. "(Y/n), do something!"
“He’s full. I’ll be right back.” You grab him from Izuku. Ema rolls her watery eyes. "What tipped you off?"
"(Y/n), what the hell is wrong with Noa's ass?!" Kirishima fans in front of his nose. You huff and back away from the table, slightly offended despite the stench. Izuku shyly follows you.
“You sure you don’t need me?”
“I can change his diaper, hon.” You're not sure about this one, though.
“Ooh!” Ema starts clapping her hands with glee. You point to her and have pleading eyes for her to shut up. “Shut it, Ema. Don’t start.”
Ema remained unfazed. She waved at the two of you. “We’ll see you guys later! And Midoriya,” Izuku turns around. “Uh, Eijirō and I have to cancel the weekend.”
“We do?” Kirishima stops kissing Hana’s cheek. She has his eyes. Nose and up are him and below is definitely Ema. It’s amazing how these babies' faces are changing.
Ema elbows him. “I-I mean, yeah! We do! Ema and I have to work on our report and then we have Hana-you know, we’re absolutely swamped, ha, ha.” Kirishima's smile is as fake as Kaibara's heroics.
Izuku pauses then sucks on his lips. His round eyes get bigger. “R-right! Right! I’ll see you later.”
You bid them goodbye. To your side is Izuku who keeps up with your speed. “You know you don’t need to do this, right? I’m capable.”
“I know you are! You-you're amazing with Noa.” You bite your lips and look towards the ground. That has been something heavy on your heart from the start. Being a parent is one thing but being a good one is another. You struggle with this and see how everyone is better than you are. It's like all of them have more and do more. To have someone you just met say that you’re doing amazing despite your inadequacy has you feeling warm in a good way.
“Thank you, Izuku.”
In the general studies commons, you lay Noa down on the coffee table, not thinking to put a blanket or something underneath him. You had placed his diaper bag at the side of the couch where Izuku sits.
“Hand me-no, that one-the one right there!” Izuku searches the bag. He pulls out the diaper. “This?”
“Yes, thank you.” You roll your eyes and take the diaper. When you take his bottoms off, Noa gains this strange look on his face. Brushing it off, you ask Izuku, “Wanna learn?”
“Uh, sure. What side does it-” Izuku gestures to the diaper. Smiling, you begin, “Like this-”
Suddenly, right as you open Noa’s used diaper, the unthinkable happens. You scream bloody murder, as warmth hits your chest and shoulders. Izuku gasps then scrambles away. You jerk back away from the baby.
Noa, your own doll son, is peeing on you. You, his mother.
“Oh my God!” Izuku laughs and holds his phone out, recording your horror as you distance yourself from the stream by pressing yourself impossibly close to the couch. “Are-are you recording me?”
Seeing this, you grab Noa and hold him up to Izuku. The little bastard stops peeing. Izuku has tears in his eyes. You glare at Noa. “Are you kidding me?!”
Noa laughs, matching Izuku’s. “I can’t believe this disrespect!” You stomp your foot then make a disgusted noise when it begins to cool. “It’s cold!”
Izuku reaches for Noa, who stops laughing. “You go get cleaned up-”
“Noa, no!” Izuku shouts as Noa gives him the equal treatment. Noa stops and looks triumphant. “Ha!” You point.
Noa’s shirt is raised a little and on his tummy is eight months. Who knew that all he needed to do to grow up was pee on you?
_____________________________
Izuku’s a little wet from the shower. He rubs the top of his curls, causing them to shake and small droplets to fall. After Noa's pee parade, both of you decided to take showers. Thankfully, the baby was very calm when you decided to bathe with him, not once screaming when the water touched him. Maybe Noa's growth will stop the tears a little.
“I have to get him bigger sizes. Look at him!” Your poor chunky baby is busting out of his clothes. His diaper barely fits, and you just got this size. Shit, shit, shit. "I have to go to Hatsume first then-"
“I’ll go to Hatsume, you go find something to put Noa in for the time being. Afterwards, we'll go to that little store around the corner." You bite your cheek for a second. "If you want to come with me then know that you'll be doing some heavy lifting."
He perks up. “It’d be great for training.” Before he goes you reach for your bag. "Here, if I remember right the diapers should cost the same no matter the size-" You turn to find him gone. You should be happy, grateful, maybe even flattered. Yet here you sit with this terrible feeling of embarrassment.
You put Noa on your hip and smack your cheek. Now is not the time for self-pity or whatever. Now is the time to get the little man into something presentable. In your room, you search around. His stash of clothing is so small compared to him now. You sigh and go through your own clothes. He'll just have to settle for one of your tops. He squeals and reaches for you after you put it on him.
"You excited, mini man?" You ask as you are in the elevator. Noa claps and tries to talk the entire time, having a full-blown conversation. The door opens and you see Izuku waiting for you in your dorm's commons. In his hands are several packs of Hatsume's diapers. The doors threaten to close on you since you haven't moved.
Izuku comes up to you and stops the elevator doors from closing. "Are you okay?" He puts his hand against your forehead. "Your temperature's fine-"
"I-I'm fine," You blink several times. "Positive. Let's roll." He looks at you skeptically. You grab a diaper from him and walk past, not wanting him to question it further.
Izuku has a bit more pep in his step as the two of you walk through the campus side by side. You pass people who are heading towards the main building. Every person around stares at him in awe. The many eyes are nerve wracking and overall annoying. Rather than bringing it to his attention, you let it slide and walk faster.
The two of you walk into the same shop you went to with Kaibara. The employee immediately recognizes you. Apparently, she recognizes Izuku just as well. In an instant, she trips over to introduce herself. “Thank you for everyth-”
When she grabs his arm, you feel something tingly, something that would be bitter if you could taste it. “That’s enough. Izuku, come with me.” You grab his hand and lead him away. It’s, um, not subtle. Worst of all, you don’t know why this is. Why did you become jealous? You’re not so naive to be ignorant to what jealousy is. Not when you’re so familiar with it.
You pull out a list of things the little turd needs. “Shirts, pants, shoes, literally everything.” Izuku takes him out of your wrap. Smiling, he says, “And a carrier. This can’t be good for you to wear all the time.”
Before you can defend it, he adds, “We'll get bigger sizes so he can grow into them.” He bounces the baby. You are about to tell him he doesn’t like to be bounced when you realize that Noa isn’t crying. That he has only cried with Izuku once.
Your eyes twitch and nostrils flare. “You’re right.”
You’ll handle that later. Then, you see it. He isn’t a full-fledged hero yet. He’s still interning and is just now getting back on his feet. Yet this is an opportunity that you can't pass up. “How about this?”
You hold up a green jacket with long stems at the hood, resembling bunny ears. It’s Deku merchandise. Along with it are other ones, too. A Uravity helmet, gloves that look like Dynamight’s with grenade print at the wrists, there are Ingenium’s shoes. All over are merchandise for kids in honor of heroes that fought in the wars. There are scarves that resemble Aizawa and that one tired kid's ropes and a Lemillion blanket that matches his red cape with his symbol in the corner.
His breath hitches. You place the jacket in the cart. “It’d be cute-are you okay?”
His eyes are watery as he looks at the cloth. He leans in and excitedly declares, “We’ll get everyone’s! I’ll pay for it myself!” Your eyes are wide at how passionate he is about this. “Um…okay?”
Now, Noa is in his Deku jacket and Ingenium shoes that are a little bigger than what he can actually wear right now. Izuku’s eyes are down to the sidewalk. Noa rests in his arms, not yet in the carrier, and points to everything that catches his attention. Izuku’s behavior changed once he saw the merchandise. He paid for them like he said he would. Is that the reason for the difference? After dealing with Kaibara, the correct thing to do is ask.
“Are you bothered about paying?” Blunt and to the point. Izuku blinks then asks, “No, why?”
“You’re acting weird so I just thought…” You shrug and let the sentence trail off. “I’m happy to do it. I’m happy for everyone and can’t wait to show them. It’s more of my things that I feel off about.”
Before you can ask why, he changes the topic. “He does look cute, right?” Noa smiles and pulls on Izuku’s hair. “Yeah, yeah, cute as can be.”
You adjust the bags and continue to walk. “Let me.” He takes the bags from you. “W-hold on you got Noa.”
Somehow, he takes the numerous bags from you and hands you Noa with ease. It’s probably the training he does or something because you are clumsy compared to him.
You sigh and shake your head. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”
“I want to! I really like y-uh, Noa! He’s adorable. He’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.” Your face begins to warm not only because he thinks Noa is cute, but that Noa looks like you. A fact pops in your head cooling you down. “He’s not really a baby, though.”
“Still a cutie.” He takes a better look at Noa. “Looks just like you. I don’t see Kaibara at all.”
“Really? I see it in the nose a little bit.”
“Mm, nah. See,” He delicately traces his finger along the little mound. Noa sneezes anyway and smiles. “That right there is you. You both have a cute nose.”
Your nose is something you never thought was cute. But the weird unintentional comment makes you feel…flattered? Amazing? Pretty? It’s such a weird feeling that you've never felt before or at least haven't in a while. You feel like shrieking for some reason. Why? You've just met this guy and only know him through a friend of a friend. Nevertheless, his adoration of Noa and your nose makes you feel good.
You hold the door open for him to enter inside your dorms. You can't help but feel that you forgot something now that you're inside the campus.
“Ah, do you have anything to do this weekend?” You turn to Izuku who looks absolutely in pain. “Um, yeah? But only for a bit.”
“O-oh. Never-never mind then!” He retreats and puts the bags gently on the floor. Even from his side profile you can see the disappointment hidden behind those bright eyes of his. “I can make room, of course. Why’d you ask?”
“Well, um, I would like to spend some time with you, if that’s alright. But if you’re with Kaibara , then I don’t want to intrude.” He rubs the back of his neck and doesn’t make eye contact with you. You hear him mutter something about plans and how you don’t have to feel obligated. That’s all you catch with his muttering.
“S-sorry! I know that freaks-”
“I don’t mind, I like it. I think it’s endearing.” He gives a little gasp with a widening smile. “I-In that case, um, thanks. You’re the first one.”
You can’t help but smile. “What do you have in mind, anyway?”
“Ha, well, there's this restaurant I’ve been wanting to try-you don't have to by the way! I just know they also have some food that I think Noa’ll like!”
“Sure.”
“You probably have so much going on, this was dumb I’m-wait, what?” Izuku sputters, shocked that you agreed.
“I’ll go. But it’ll have to be before ten.”
“Of course, the curfew is at nine!”
“I mean, I have to be asleep by then.” He plays with Noa’s peach fuzz for hair. “Is it Noa’s schedule?”
“No, my own. I trained myself that way because of my quirk."
He perks up and gets close, sitting on the couch next to you. You move the many bags out of his way. “What’s your quirk? How does it wor-” Ah, you heard from Ema a while back that he was not only a hero fanatic, but a quirk nerd. He has notebooks dedicated to them.
“Uh, it has to do with dreams. It isn't the best.”
His real quirk has to be something with conjuring because this notepad came out of nowhere. Where the hell did he keep it? How deep are his pockets? He opens it and finds a page deep in the middle. “Tell me more, please? I’d love-”
Noa is on the floor next to you, bringing out his favorite toys from his diaper bag on his own. Izuku continues his rapid fire of questions. You decide to go with the first one. “I don't remember the name because I never cared to do anything with it. It has to do with dreams."
He writes fast. “How?” This is like an interview. You pray you're not sweating too bad. “I don't know if I could actually bring, like, a dream of Bikini Bottom-"
“What?”
“I couldn't think of anything!” You're failing this interview. You could have said anything else. Maybe if you weren't such a dumbass and actually paid attention to it, you could explain it better.
“Sorry, sorry. Continue, please. It’s been so long since someone's let me do this.”
You nod and say, "I never tested it to see how far it can go. What I do know is that I can't change one."
Noa hits your foot with his block. You put it on top of his head. "I know for a fact that I won't be able to save you from a nightmare, but I can hold your hand, type of thing." You wave your hand dismissively, not really caring about quirks in the first place. Since no one is allowed to use them, then why are they important?
“I think it'd be harder for me to do anything to another person than for me to use my own, though. So, if I dreamed of Bikini Bottom," You scratch your cheek. "Then I can show you? Maybe I could bring you there or something."
“So, controlling dreams?”
“No. I can't control dreams; I don't know if I can even create them. I honestly never looked into it. Quirks have never been a big part of my life." Izuku stops and stares at you. “Don’t worry, though! I never let my quirk get out of control. I take medicine at night to stop it.”
He looks at you with a curious and what you could swear is cautious, face. There’s a clawing feeling that reaches from your stomach to your throat. You shake your head, not wanting him to feel that you would violate him by entering his dreams or something. “It’s not the best-”
“I think it’s wonderful. I bet it’s beautiful," No one has ever said that. Then again, you've never really talked about it either. “Have you tried training it?”
You give a small 'no'. Izuku smiles a little and plays with one of his curls. “Since the Sports Festival is coming up and I’ll be busy with it, would you like to trai-”
The bell rings cutting him off. That's what you forgot. You've been here so long with him, you totally forgot about school. In fact, school is over. The two of you missed half of the school day. You jump up and go to grab Noa who has decided that he must defeat another milestone.
“Go baby, go!” You cheer Noa on as he crawls towards your sneakers. “Oh, oh, oh, hold on! Hold-” Izuku fumbles with his phone to record it.
______________________________________
Early Saturday, you called your boss for a change of schedule so you could be with Izuku. You even promised to work all day and night on Sunday. She said no. And when you told her the reason, she looked like the Grinch.
“Um, I know you wanted to go to that restaurant but how about another? I know a place with somewhat good food and good prices.”
“Yeah?” He puts Noa in the carrier and picks it up along with the diaper bag with All Might on it. When the first one you bought broke, Izuku insisted on getting one for you. Of course, it had to be one with All Might's face on it.
“I gotta warn you, the food is subpar at best, and the floors are sticky, and the service is horrendous.” He tries not to laugh. “If you like it, then it must be something.” Despite him having his hands full, he opens the door for you.
The devil stands at the register. “Oh hello, there! Such a beautiful couple. And who is this cutie?” You are literally shaking. Izuku messes with his curls and doesn’t correct her. “This is Noa. Say hi, bud.” Noa looks up at her and reaches for the devil who just happens to be your boss.
“Sorry, we’re still working on him talking.”
She looks at him and gives a kind smile. One that isn’t devious or fake. It’s just kind. You still don’t trust it though. “I bet you’re doing great,” Like you predicted, it turns into a smirk.
“Hey, what word are you trying to get him to say?” Before Izuku can answer, you say, “Retirement home.”
She freezes. Her kids and you have an ongoing joke about admitting her when she gets old and even more senile. Ken has even joined in on the fun.
Izuku raises a brow. “I was thinking mama…”
Yona recovers. “Oh, come on, with a man like you by her side? I bet he says dada first!”
“I’m still voting for retirement home. It has such a nice ring to it. When I hear it, I think of that little government funded one. It doesn’t have a shuffleboard or filet mignon, but at least there are beds. I bet he could also say funeral home.”
She stops then and gives a glare. “Let’s find you a table.”
Izuku leans into your ear. “Do you know each other?”
Shit. “Ah, yeah. I come here quite a bit.” He nods at your explanation. The two of you are seated right in the middle, no doubt a deliberate seating since it is in perfect line with her and Ken’s nosy asses.
“I’ll leave these to you.” She sets menus down. Noa is sitting in his highchair, wiping it with his hand. This is not the first time he’s been here, clearly. Yona cocks her head as she studies Noa. “He’s got a good shaped head.”
“What?” Izuku takes a drink of the water Yona poured in his green class. You don't blame him for being confused. It's a random ass thing to bring up. “I’m just saying. You two did good at shaping his head.”
You rub your face. “Thank you, ma’am. I already know wha-”
“I bet he gets it from you hon. What’s your name, again?” She places her hand on the back of Izuku’s chair. “Izuku Midoriya.”
“That name sounds familiar. Anyway, he must’ve got your head because hers is annoying looking.”
Bitch. Your head is perfect. It is the best shaped head in the universe and how dare she question that. Besides, shaping Noa's was a chore since he felt the need to lay on one side. Thankfully, it isn’t misshapen like Hana’s.
“You know what? He actually looks like-”
“I know what I want, ma’am!” You will haunt her dreams. Yona huffs and asks the bewildered Izuku what he’d like. He watches the two of you. “I’ll have the same as her.”
“Ah, and the cook would-”
“Tell him, block 5 for me please.” Ken will get the hint of his prison stunt. Yona purses her lips and walks away. Izuku leans in. “Are you sure you don’t know them?”
“Positive. I just come here a lot.” Izuku takes in his surroundings. “It is quite homey. Like a mom and pop’s shop.”
“Hopefully the awful food doesn’t chase you away.” Noa cries and tugs his ear. You hope he’s just sleepy and it’s not an ear infection that’s been going around. If so, you’re in trouble. For some reason, Hatsume decided that viruses and crap should be added to the project. Well, it was either her or the heroes. “Here, let me.”
Izuku cradles him and gives him kisses. Noa wails and messes with his ears. “(Y/n), he isn’t sleepy, what-”
“Ear infection is my guess. Mei should have something for it,” You call out, “Yona, we need it to go! I’m gonna take Noa back.”
“Shouldn’t we pay?” Izuku gets up, bouncing Noa in an attempt to calm him. “Nah, it’s fine.” You don’t notice the suspicious look on his face.
__________________________
It’s June now, and Noa is still eight months old. Compared to his newborn phase, this is a little easier. Not by much since he is a curious little beastie who likes crawling and getting into things. And of course, you forgot that babies teethe. The dreaded shrill screams that he has every once in a while, makes you want to reach for the bottle of alcohol for yourself rather than put it on his gums. To stop that, fucking Deku made sure to get Noa Mei's cream for it.
“You’ve grown so much, little one.” Noa babbles in response. Lately, he has been vocal and clearly trying to speak. “Yeah?”
He responds in his usual way. “What’s your first word gonna be? Mama? Eh? Ma-ma.”
He ‘blahs’ in response. “Close, I guess.” You pop a boh-boh back in his mouth and set him down on the floor. He immediately crawls around and gets into your bag. “Hey, hey!”
You take a pencil away from him, causing him to huff in protest. His disappointment doesn’t last long as he speedily crawls away towards your shoes. Lately, Noa is deciding that your shoes are priceless entertainment.
The Sports Festival is coming up and the hero course is busier than ever and bursting with excitement. This is the first one since the wars. They canceled last year for obvious reasons and there was a debate if they should continue them at all. The majority vote went to the tradition continuing.
Izuku has been tough to get a hold of which sucks because Noa does not like that. He needs his buddy, apparently. You decide to text him.
“Does this seem okay? ‘Hi, Izuku. I would like to hang out with you again sometime soon. It’s okay if you don’t want to.’”
Noa just looks up at you. “Yeah, sounds very,” You struggle to come up with a word. Noa seems to get it quicker than you do with his, “Ba.”
“Stiff. Yep, that’s the word.” You type some more with Noa crawling onto your lap looking down at the screen. “How about this? ‘Do you want to hang out sometime?’ ”
Noa hums then blows a bubble. “You’re right, that’s fine.” You hit send with your face warm. You whisper, “I just asked out a boy. Oh my God.”
Izuku has been around you a lot but you’ve never asked him out. No, you still didn’t! This isn’t a romantic thing. It’s about Noa and his attachment to him! It’s not like it’s a date. When he took you out to eat at the restaurant it wasn’t a date either since Noa got an ear infection, so it was cut short.
You smack your forehead repeatedly. “Stupid teenage hormones!” That has to be it.
Your phone vibrates in your hand. Noa touches the phone, his drool getting on the screen. You wipe it off and read what Izuku sent you.
I’d love to! How about Friday?
Stupid teenage hormones. The phone vibrates again.
Will you cheer me on during the festival?
You answer, Noa and I both will.
You didn’t originally want to go but now you’re a little excited to watch. Stupid teenage hormones.
_______
Izuku invites you to watch him train instead of going out to what was not a romantic outing. You go, not really knowing what to expect. Him doing pushups or something? That’s wiped out when you open the heavy metal door and enter the large room.
You didn't realize when he said train, he meant train. The students of Class A soar through the air. Flames and rocks fly around as debris crushes buildings. Suddenly, you spot familiar green hair in the air with his leg ready. He isn't wearing his suit yet still displays great power. You don't know the name of who is coming at him but one kick from Izuku sends the guy down after hearing a crunch from his body.
Of course, your doll son is entertained and kicks his own legs. He reaches his hands out and squeals when Izuku comes down to land on the cliff, making it crack underneath him. You don't know how he's able to do it, thick thighs or not. He turns his head when he hears a baby’s laugh. “(Y/n)-ah, Noa!” He jumps down and runs to you.
Noa’s back is against your chest and your arm underneath his legs. Izuku sees this. “Uh, here, like this.”
He readjusts to set him on your hip. You glare at him. “He was fine.”
After sighing at his picking, you say, “You were pretty amazing.” From what you saw, at least. “It’s unfortunate you hang out with trash, though.”
“(Y/n).” He says with a pointed stare. Noa reaches for him with a big smile on his face. Izuku grabs and holds him. Izuku gives Noa a big kiss. “I missed you! Didn’t think you’d remember me, honestly.”
“You talked to him all the time.”
“Not as much as I should, though. Sorry about that, Noa.” Noa presses his face against Izuku’s chest. It’s a sweet scene. There’s no way Kaibara would do this. He barely participated with the report, and he didn’t even look at Noa.
Izuku gasps, knocking you out of your thoughts. He cheers and even congratulates your doll son for growing in length. And if you were crazy, you’d swear his eyes got a little rounder and his face shape, although still adorned with chubby cheeks, doesn’t match you or Kaibara’s. They’re Izuku’s. Noa has your eye color and nose, what may be your lips and Izuku’s chin. Does he see it or are you crazy?
Before he can say anything, the electric guy comes up. “I didn't know you were doing it! He’s so cute!” The blond pokes Noa’s cheek. Looking at him you are reminded of Jule. He’s doing alright now but he still struggles. When this first started, you remember he had thrown up because of the stress. His partner, the electric guy, wasn't and isn't helping. Your tongue is loose on its own accord. “You know who else is cute?”
He raises a brow and tries, keyword tries, to act suave. “Certainly you. My name is Denki Kaminari-”
“Your child. You’d know that if any of you actually did something. Do you even know the name? How about your partner’s?”
The class became quiet. Kaminari’s eyes waver a bit. A person stops their quirk in the middle of using it. You can't stand them. Them breathing the same air as you makes you sick. “Wanting to be a hero yet can’t take responsibility after pushing your grade us-no, hey!” Izuku tries to usher you out. You continue your rant about Kaminari's lack of effort in the project.
"Your partner's name is-stop it! Hey!"
Izuku carries Noa in one hand and you in the other. He doesn't say anything. Aizawa follows and calls Snipe who is groaning. Izuku manages to take you out of the training room and into a hall around the corner. His silence and tension bother you.
Are you going to apologize? Hell no.
Snipe comes at you at a fast pace. Izuku has yet to let you go. “(Y/n) (L/n), in here. Now.”
You snatch Noa and go inside the empty room right behind you. Snipe points his finger at you. “This is it. I have had it with your disrespectful, insubordinate, attitude. Look, I understand you’re angry. Everyone has been there. (Y/n), you can’t take your wrath out on everyone else.”
“Then who? Who can I take it out on? This is all unfair. So tell me, when and how can I be angry while they can sleep at night with no remorse? With no burden?”
“They have them. They’re just more mature than you.”
“They’re old. You have put this on young people. They, you, have been disrespectful. Everyone kisses your ass while the people whose hearts you swore to protect get crushed constantly. Tell me,” Your voice shakes. “How does this project help us? Not them. But us? Because they're out there living their best life while we are the ones to suffer for what seems like nothing.”
Snipe says nothing. “All I did was bring it up. Why is that so wrong?”
He takes off his mask for the first time. “It’s teaching both of you. They’ve grown up in a way you didn't, and will not, have to. You have faced the effects of war which you shouldn’t have in ways they never faced. Now it is time to raise you both in a way that prevents that. An opportunity to bond and grow together.”
You rub your eyes. “Answer me! How can I take out my anger then while they get off of everything ? We apparently have a test today-”
“Which you are missing!”
“So bent on them. Damn, man! When are you going to start being a hero?”
“I am-”
“Being our hero? I’m tired, Snipe. I’m sick of getting in trouble for nothing and I didn’t even get to study for this dumb test. Did any of us? Bet they did!” You point to the door. You immediately left and pushed Aizawa away from you since he was in the way.
You’re sitting on the bench outside of the school with your head in your hands. The breeze slightly cools your face.
Desperately, you want to excel. In this project, life, and this school. You want to be a good student and person. You’re so tired. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Everything is so heavy. Noa’s sleeping better, just not enough. He’s easier to handle to an extent. Not to the point where you can go to class and do your work. Yeah, you skipped. What’s the point of going, though? Snipe yells at you when he’s too loud and everyone glares at you when it starts a chain reaction.
You can’t focus. You can’t sleep. You try to work hard in school and work harder at the restaurant. How can you get rest when you don't have time to?
The scholarship covers the tuition, the dorm, and Recovery Girl's and Lunch Rush services. And with Lunch Rush you have a limited amount, just like a public school. If you go over, you have to pay. And what about everything else you need? Add all of that with Noa's expenses, you're drained. Plus, if anything happens to him, no doubt would that come out of your pocket.
Caring for Noa is exhausting. He's a good kid, totally! You also have experience with children. You've babysat before. However, taking care of a child on your own is very different, especially when the father disregards you and hurts you. The hero students don’t have to worry about this. Seeing them living and laughing just makes you so angry.
Your body feels so heavy. The salty water slides down your face and onto the sidewalk. Your nose runs embarrassingly as you sway from the weight. Noa coughs and sniffles. It snaps you up and grab him. “Hey, little man.”
You try to rub your face. He doesn’t understand, he’s a doll which causes an ache in your chest. This has gone on too long. He feels so real. And you are crying too much, feeling way too much. Seeing the future heroes happy and content just hurt you so, so, much. Snipe, your teacher, is hurting you too. It's stupid, right? You know what to expect from heroes by now.
Feeling the chill again, you decide to get up to bring him inside. Can he catch a cold? Suddenly, a hand touches your back. You jump and face them. Izuku stands there without an expression. You’re so tired. You don’t have the energy to say something snappy if need be.
Instead of going for it, he hugs you, being careful with Noa. The doll baby snuggles up to him. Izuku places his hand on the back of your head holding you close. You don’t know him well enough to be like this. You let it happen anyway. He’s warm and smells good despite his training about an hour ago.
“It’s going to be okay, (Y/n).” Your lips wobble. You're sick of that. “I know we don't know each other very well but I thought you’d need it.”
He speaks again. “Snipe said you made a point and are letting all of you redo the test. I guess not everyone got to study,”
Is that supposed to make you feel better? It took for you to run out here and cry for him to notice he is doing all of you wrong? It’s humiliating and dramatic, isn’t it? There are literally people dying and here you are crying and making your teacher feel bad.
“So, I’ll help you, okay? Tonight, we can have dinner in the commons and do it together.” He rubs your back. This is so embarrassing. You want to scream at him, kick him, anything. You want to burn this school down with the heroes in it. Maybe even the dolls, too.
Izuku declares, “I’m right here.” Like it’s the most natural thing to him. Right then, Noa's tummy dings to show he is one years old. You hate how his first year is seeing you cry.
---
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#bnha#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#my hero academia#mha#izuku midoriya#q#deku x reader#boku no hero academia fanfic#boku no hero academia#midoriya izuku#deku#this is probably so messy but forgive it#midoriya x reader#bnha deku#bnha izuku midoriya#Is that how u do a tag list?#bnha fanfic#izuku x reader#mha fanfic#midoriya izuku x you
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TTRPGs for people with dyscalculia?
THEME : Dyscalculia Friendly.
Hello friend, I’m going to first point you to the Math-Lite Chaotic Murder Hobos recommendation post I wrote up a year or two ago.
What I understand about dyscalculia is that in can affect the ability to do mental math, but I'm not sure how much it affects number recognition. I have a few games here that ask you to read the faces on a die, but I don't think any of them expect you to do any addition. I hope you find something fun on this list!
Cats of Catthulu, by Joel Sparks.
CATS OF CATTHULHU is the beloved rules-light roleplaying game in which the players take the part of ordinary cats, secretly defending human civilization from the Chaos Cults of the other animals. All the players have to do is act like cats, while the Cat Herder arranges exciting challenges for them—anything from snacky time to daringly interrupting dire rituals.
In Cats of Catthulhu, the way the story will go is always a mystery. You and your friends play to find out what happens. One person, the Cat Herder, arranges the secrets and situations, and sets the scene, but even they don’t know where the night will end. The players take the role of individual, ordinary cats. All you really need to do is act like a cat.
It might be a bit difficult to get your hands on them, but the original dice for Cats of Catthulhu don’t have any numbers on them; instead, they have sad cats and happy cats. Whenever a cat does something, they roll 2 of these dice. Rolling a Happy Cat is a success; rolling a Sad Cat is a failure. The reasoning behind these dice is: cats can’t do math!
If you can’t get your hands on cat dice, you can use any old d6, and regard 1-2 as Sad Cats and 3-6 as Happy Cats. You’ll also want to get some kind of physical token to use as Treats, which are player currency used to allow free re-rolls. Cats of Catthulhu is great for groups who are mostly getting together to just have a fun time, ready to act silly and get into all kinds of shenanigans.
DUSK, by Gila RPGs.
Equipped with the latest suntech, you are tasked with venturing out into the Dusk, and helping bring a new dawn to humanity. The Dusk does not want you there.
Good luck.
In DUSK, you play as Shards, survivors on the planet Obron after the devastating nova-event that saw your world destroyed. Now you wield powerful technology fueled by pieces of your dead sun, in hopes of surviving another day. DUSK uses the LUMEN 2.0 system, and is a diceless RPG focused on resource management rather than luck or chance.
As a diceless game, DUSK feels a lot different from a number of other diceless games, and I think that’s because of the style of game it’s working off of. LUMEN games are more about strategy than they are about narrative, and in DUSK that’s carried forward in the form of Suntech, items that require energy to power and provide specific advantages.
DUSK is still a relatively new game, but the designer is prolific in the amount of quality work he’s released in the past - and so when he says that there’s more to come, you best believe there’s more to come. If you’d still like to roll dice but you like the idea of the setting in this game, you might want to check out NOVA, which also uses the LUMEN system but gives you dice to roll or LUNA, a game about cultists trying to destroy the moon. Both of these games use pools of d6’s and ask you to look for the highest number, so I don’t think there’s that much math involved.
CASE & SOUL, by Briar Sovereign.
CASE&SOUL is a lightweight tabletop game for telling action-packed stories in the mecha genre. CASE&SOUL is designed for one-shots and short to mid length campaigns. Speed through a lightweight downtime; hire freelancers to pad out your Crew’s skills on missions. Customize your playbooks with SOUL moves, and enjoy a cut-down FITD gameplay with just the essentials for fast and flexible sessions.
Forged in the Dark games use a dice pool, rather than abilities with modifiers. You add dice from various places on your worksheet, and try to roll at least one 4 or higher. Rolling a 4 or 5 is usually a mixed success, and rolling a 6 is a complete success. Personally, I’m a big fan of games that use dice pools, as I’m also not a fan of trying to add up all of those numbers, and having to just look for the single highest dice helps speed up action resolution.
At the same time, Forged in the Dark games can have a lot of moving pieces at once, especially if the GM wants to track a large number of factions, or players want to plan multiple-stage missions. CASE & SOUL advertises itself as a slimmed-down version of these kinds of games, but I can’t tell whether or not that is the case when I look at the character sheets. What intrigues me is the CASE and SOUL tracks; I think your CASE is your Mech, and it receives Harm differently than your SOUL, which is an interesting way to measure how much your mech is (or is not) part of you.
Keyforge: Secrets of the Crucible, by Edge Studio.
In the center of the universe hangs the Crucible, a gigantic artificial world created by the enigmatic Architects and home to countless beings and cultures. Here, impossibly advanced technologies mix with arcane powers to make for a setting unlike any other! Uncovering the secrets of this mysterious world will take all your skills—but the potential rewards are boundless…
Explore this world of boundless opportunity in Secrets of the Crucible, a new sourcebook for the Genesys Roleplaying System set in the KeyForge universe!
You’ll need the Genesys Rulebook for this one, because the main reason I’m recommending Secrets of the Crucible is because of the dice system. Genesys dice don’t use numbers; they use symbols that represent success and failure - and they also have symbols that deepen the nuance of each roll. You can roll advantages or disadvantages that calibrate exactly how much you succeed, as well as triumphs or despairs that give you the same kind of highs and lows as a Nat 20 or a Nat 1 in D&D. This means that each roll tells you so much more about what’s going on around you than just whether you open a door or sweet-talk a guard.
As for the setting, Keyforge is originally a card game published by Fantasy Flight games, about a world called the Crucible, full of secrets that various factions are competing to unlock. It reminds me of the worlds of Magic: the Gathering or League of Legends, with various settings that look very distinct from each-other, and represent different styles of play.
SHIVER, by Parable Games.
WHAT IS SHIVER?
SHIVER is a tabletop roleplaying game that lets players bring their favourite scary movies, spooky tv shows, and horror stories to life. Ever wanted to play through the plot of your favourite film on the tabletop? Or wanted to make sequels, prequels and original stories in the worlds of pop culture you love? SHIVER lets you play that!
SHIVER is setting neutral allowing you to play any story, anytime, and as anyone. Want to play a game of teens in survival mode against a zombie horde? Kids on Bikes who dread exploring a haunted house on Halloween night? Or perhaps a medieval monster hunter looking for a werewolf, vampire or mage? SHIVER can deliver stories and characters for anything from cult pulp classic to Cthulhu fuelled eldritch mystery.
The designer of SHIVER set out with the goal of making games easier for his friends, who had similar struggles with games that had too much math involved. Players roll six-sided and eight-sided dice with various symbols on them, looking for the symbol that represents their character's strengths. The more difficult the task is, the more of the required symbol you need. The game itself is recognized as a class-act horror game, good for everything from pulp-action to gothic fiction to slasher horror. If you don't have the special dice, you can substitute with d6's & d8's, or you can use the free Dice Roller designed for this game.
Tournament Arc, by Biscuit Fund Games.
Are you looking to experience the triumphs and defeats of Space Hyper-Basketball? Need to feel the epic highs and dizzying lows of card games in the post-apocalypse? Want to face the trials and tribulations of the cheese-rolling World Circuit?
Tournament Arc is your very own collaborative sports anime experience, made in the diceless Belonging Outside Belonging engine popularized by games like Dream Askew and Wanderhome. In every thrilling episode, you’ll play the part of the Team as they negotiate the complexities of their daily lives, explore a collaboratively created world, and, most importantly, play the Game.
Tournament Arc is both diceless and GM-less, and is designed to tell stories about teambuilding and competitive sports, although the setting appears to be pretty flexible. The Belonging Outside Belonging game system provides each character type with prompts, and sorts those prompts into different categories. Usually there will be some things you can always do that generate tokens as well as narrative obstacles, and then other things that you can only do when you spend tokens - and as a result, also help characters confront those narrative obstacles. If you have players that like having something tactile to keep in their hands as they play, you might like Tournament Arc.
Warehouse Bitches, by Darling Demon Games.
The Time Worm arrived as it was prophesied just as the crown fell upon his head, and all potentials collapsed into a single haunted citadel, which you call Hex City. You are transgender punks and goths from earth, and in this place your powerful hearts make you witches, daemons, beast-people and arcane architects. We bide our time, smoking and drinking, playing video games and eyeing the crumbling walls of our enemy, The Lord of Olympus.
In Warehouse Bitches, you play as one of the titular warehouse-dwelling trans folk in the hellish Hex City. In this GMless Belonging Outside Belonging game with a unique coin-flip mechanic, you'll wield magic, build allies across the city and fight back against the bastards in subtle ways.
I’ve already explained a bit about how Belonging Outside Belonging works, but Warehouse Bitches adds another layer by using coins as tokens. Using coins, your options are different depending on whether or not the coin is on Heads or Tails. The moves on your character sheet are not just differentiated between Strong and Vulnerable, they’re also differentiated between Heads or Tails, and you must have matching sides of the coins showing in order to be able to use those moves. Characters also have Magic moves, which require the player to flip every coin they currently hold, and reassign those coins based on whatever side they land on.
Warehouse Bitches has only 4 playbooks as it stands now, so a group of 4 players is probably the largest group that can play the book as it stands now. The game is GM-less, but looking at the rules, I think it would be possible to have someone pick up the GM role in order to introduce complications and narrate the actions of various other factions in town. Similar to other BoB games, there are zones that have various elements and details that need to be decided as you play, which will also help provide events and interesting features that keep the game fresh and exciting.
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Reborn in Baldur's Gate 3: Chapter 1
Plot: You’ve been reincarnated. It’s the realization you come to when the tiefling offering you a health potion introduces himself as Tav. You died and your soul revived in Baldur's Gate 3, at the beginning of the game no less. But you only have the memories of your past life on Earth, and none of your current one.
Tav invites you to join him on his journey, despite your lack of abilities or maybe because of it. You might as well go along with it; where else would you go with no memory of who you currently are, or knowledge of anything that lies outside of the narrative?
There is much to discover about your life in Baldur's Gate, and what transpires relies on the tiefling leading your group as Tav.
Word Count: 2.5K
A/N: This is very self-indulgent so there will by a lot of Gale and Astarion.
-------------------
“I’m Tav.”
He’s a tiefling, you recall. Tall and bulky with curled horns. The dark gray skin tells you he’s descended from Mephistopheles, and his simple leather gear tells you he’s a barbarian. Huh. Yeah, that makes sense, he’s Tav, the hero of the game! Or…the villain? Your head pounds as memories flood back to you—tieflings, bards, goblins, vampires—you, sitting at a computer debating which choice would garner you the most favour with your companions in…
“Baldur’s Gate,” you mumble. You slap a hand over your mouth, staying on your knees as you blink at the tiefling. At Tav. He arches his brows and kneels beside you, offering you a small vial of red liquid.
“You’re from Baldur’s Gate, too?” he asks. “Drink this, it’ll make you feel better.”
Without much thought you take the already opened vial from him and swallow it down in one small gulp. With a deep breath the pounding in your head subsides and you can think a little clearer. Maybe not clear enough to fully comprehend that you’re currently in a video game, or that there’s a small wriggling behind your left eye which means…
More images come to you, a mind flayer holding a worm with too many teeth to your eye, a githyanki—Lae’zel—pointing a sword at you, and then falling from the ship. The nautiloid. Tav’s memories of the ship.
Tav winces as the visions fade. “Guess you got one of those, too.”
A chill runs down your spine, through each and every bone of your body until the squirming thing behind your eye stops movement all together.
“I uh…” You look around at the crash area, taking in the rocks and splotches of fire dotting the land on one side and water on your left, until you meet the gaze of a raven-haired half-elf.
“This one doesn’t seem to be all there,” she says. Her voice is as smooth and condescending as you remember, and you find it endearing despite the insult.
“Give them a moment,” Tav responds over his shoulder. “It’s a lot to take in.”
Yes, especially because this is most definitely a dream. A very vivid, painful, exciting, insane dream.
“What’s your name?”
You fear all you can do is blink. You tell them your name, voice as shaky as your body. There’s a tremble in your hands that you can’t control, even with a hard grip on the now empty vial. “And thank you…for the potion.”
Tav lifts, holding a large sharp-nailed hand out to you. “Can you stand?”
You nod, taking his hand and letting him lift you to your feet. You let your hand drop to dust off your clothes, nothing that you remember wearing. The last thing you recall was going to bed in a tank top and shorts but you’re now wearing a dark blue overcoat atop loose fitting pants and a fitted shirt. The borders of the coat are stitched with gold swirls, and based on the softness of everything you wear it has to be expensive. Somehow, after everything (whatever the Hells that involved) you are quite clean. Not to mention the bag that hangs at your hip beneath your coat is quite heavy, and another bag that wraps around your waist and sits at your back has the contents clinking together when you move.
You look like a caster of some kind, but you can’t tell which. You can’t feel anything that would indicate your abilities, but some cold sensation at the back of your mind tells you you can do something. Like another limb sits in your mind, waiting to be moved.
“We don’t have time for stragglers,” Shadowheart says.
“Yet I helped you,” Tav counters. There’s a playfulness to his tone that doesn’t match his furrowed brow.
Shadowheart concedes. “Fair enough. You’re welcome to join us in our search for a healer.”
You nod. Yes, a healer! They’ll be able to—pain strikes your temples as another memory clouds your mind.
A truck careening at you, horn blaring—a sharp hit of adrenaline and then…here.
“Oh my God I’ve been isekaied.” Your revelation earns you quizzical looks from Tav and Shadowheart. Reincarnated. Just like those cheesy but addicting books about a girl being reincarnated as a villainess in some cheesy addicting romance novel. You press your hands to your face, feeling familiar features but still wary. “Quick, what do I look like?”
“A lunatic,” Shadowheart answers.
Tav hesitates, but describes you. You. Not some other face, not a character you recall from the game but you. Regular human you. You sigh, relief flooding over you.
“As…interesting as this conversation is, we should get moving,” Tav says.
“Agreed.” Shadowheart doesn’t move until Tav heads to the only direction you can go, near part of the crashed ship.
“We need to find Lae’zel,” Tav adds.
“Less agreeable,” Shadowheart says. “She’s probably long gone by now, if not dead.”
“Well we should still keep an eye out.”
You follow the two into the still burning wreckage where they suddenly stop and draw their weapons—Tav a large axe, and Shadowheart her mace and shield.
“Intellect devourers,” you conclude. Three sit at the far end of the ship, scurrying towards you at a frightening speed. With one slash of his axe Tav takes out two of them before they can get close to you, and Shadowheart smacks the other one down. All defeated in what? Three seconds?
The three brains bleed out and flop to their sides, clawed limbs twitching.
“Vile creatures,” Tav says, holstering his axe. You expect the two to keep moving and check the nearby bodies for gold and supplies, just as you do in the game, but they don’t. They walk right past the dead man without rifling through his pockets and as you step by you feel your stomach lurch. To see a bloody disfigured body in reality felt very different from the game. The vacant eyes staring upward, pieces of flesh torn from his stomach…It isn’t until a hand covers your eyes and directs you forward do you realize you’d stopped.
“Just keep moving,” Tav says, keeping his hand by the side of your head so you can’t see the body. When his hand falls you keep your eyes on his swinging tail, and follow after him as he turns and moves into the sun.
Barrels and a broken down cart let you know what’s coming next—who’s coming next.
Your excitement strikes you then, still shaky and confused but awake. You’re in Baldur’s Gate 3, with Tav and Shadowheart, and hopefully all the others.
Your eyes scan the water nearby, debris scattered everywhere until you spot a dagger on the dock. Tav and Shadowheart watch you dart over and pick it up.
“I thought you would be one to attack with words, not knives,” Shadowheart says coolly.
You stash the dagger in a boot, smiling at Shadowheart. Gods. She was pretty as pixels but seeing her in the flesh, she was something else. “Well, words aren’t always the best weapons.”
“Can I get some help?”
You recognize the voice without needing to see the speaker. Astarion is just up the hill waiting to ambush Tav and…kill him depending on how he answers.
Based on how Tav darted ahead at the sound of someone in trouble (albeit fake trouble) you figured it wouldn’t turn out too terribly. So they had skipped over robbing the dead, and didn’t explore every corner of the map looking for treasure chests…that didn’t mean things would be different with each companion intro, right? There’s a plot here, and it has to be followed to a certain degree…right? There were no screen pop ups to decide dialogue and you all appeared to have free will, which was good.
Right?
Your thoughts did little to comfort you as you climbed the hill to find Astarion already pointing his blade at Tav who was apparently perceptive enough to dodge rolling around in the ground with the vampire. You stopped next to Shadowheart, at ease just watching the situation unfold.
Both men twitch and writhe as their parasites connect. When their visions fade Astarion questions it, and Tav answers honestly about being in the mind flayer ship and what the worms can do.
You study Astarion’s face as he realizes that he’s somewhat free, but there’s a time limit to the incubation period. Tav offers for him to join your trio, and just like you remember, he agrees.
“Splendid,” Astarion says. “Lead on.”
At that the vampire meets your eyes. Icicles dance up your spine until they pierce the back of your head, making you wince and hold a hand against the spot.
You grunt at the sudden pain, the sound quiet but drawing attention all the same. You wave the eyes away from you with your free hand. “Sorry. Head still hurts a bit from…having a tadpole put inside it.”
Nobody questions that, though you know it was something else. Every time your eyes even flit in Astarion’s direction you can feel a push at the back of your head, that phantom limb clenching as if trying to stretch and release itself. You wish you could say it was the tadpole, but it feels nothing like when you connected with Tav.
“Well let’s just try to keep our worms separate,” Astarion says, seemingly at you. “I don’t need to see what’s in your head anymore than you do mine.”
His eyes linger a moment on Tav. You nod your agreement though he isn’t looking at you now.
“I saw some footprints along another path,” Tav announces. “There could be other survivors.”
There doesn’t seem to be any question as to who is in charge. Shadowheart insists on searching for a healer but with a quick convincing from Tav you’re all headed towards a strange looking purple sigil.
“Looks unstable,” Shadowheart says.
“Best left alone,” Tav agrees. It was just like a friend's first play through that thought the sigil would kill them, so they never had Gale join their party. It wasn’t a totally unfounded theory—swirling, sparking voids did seem like something that shouldn’t be touched but everything in this world had a purpose. Anything out of place or, well, glowing, was important to the story.
But then the group is walking toward the bodies of three goblins discussing supplies.
They’ll steal from goblins but not humans? Seems odd but maybe you’re the weird one being so willing to pillage the dead, no matter their race. You frown, looking back at the sigil and knowing who is inside. “You sure you don’t want to see why it’s like that?”
Astarion is observing his nails while Tav loots the goblin bodies. Shadowheart kicks one of the bodies out of her way once fully plundered and looks back at you. “Be my guest. But if you get sucked in don’t expect me to come looking for you.”
“I’ll come look for you,” Tav states with a cheeky grin, hands inside a dead goblins pockets. It makes you smile back, so…kind and disarming. You recall barbarians didn’t have high charisma, but Tav seemed to have it in spades. Or perhaps your recent head injury was clouding your judgement—after all your reaction to being reincarnated, to being dead, was quite tame.
“Ah, a true hero.” Astarion looks between you and Tav, eyes narrowing as if trying to solve a puzzle.
You turn your attention back to the sigil, taking a small step towards it when an arm pops out.
“A hand?” a voice calls. “Anybody?”
You slap the waxing hand immediately without a thought.
“Perhaps I should have been more specific,” Gale says. “A helping hand please?”
“Oh, right!” You quickly take his hand in yours and tug to no avail.
“Keep trying!”
You pull harder, wondering if you were going to end up holding a severed arm in your hand as the sigil sparks brighter and buzzes with energy. You choose to ignore those thoughts and keep trying to free the wizard.
With one final pull the person connected to the arm comes tumbling out of the sigil. If it had been Tav to pull Gale free you’re certain it would have been a smooth experience, and he would have stepped back and dodged getting shoved to the ground by the sudden lack of resistance. But it wasn’t Tav, it was you, and instead of dodging the wizard your feet tangled with each other and you both went down.
The wind is knocked from your lungs with Gale atop you, his forehead connecting with your sternum and leaving you gasping for air. Strands of his hair fall onto your lips, soft and smelling of something spicy while his left arm is wrapped around your middle, the other braced against the ground. You realize he’d been trying to protect you on the way down, but wasn’t quick enough to cover the back of your head, which now throbs from the fresh battering.
“Ouch,” you croak, voice barely making it out of your throat. Footsteps approach until Tav, Shadowheart, and Astarion are hovering over you, each with a small smile. Well…Astarion’s is more of a smirk…
Gale pushes himself off of you and before he can say anything Tav has his hands beneath your underarms and is pulling you up. His hands slide to your back until you’re steady enough to stand on your own and thank him, rubbing at the back of your head again.
Throbbing is better than stabbing, you suppose.
“Apologies,” Gale says as he smooths his hair back, “I’m usually much better at this.”
You continue to rub the back of your head as he and Tav exchange dialogue, much of it going in one ear and out the other as you focus on the pain radiating in your skull. You squeeze your eyes shut and let your hands fall to your sides, giving in to the fact you can’t rub away whatever sensation is there.
“And you my friend.” Gale is in front of you, drawing your gaze to meet his. “I am truly sorry for landing on you, but extremely grateful for the help.”
You can’t stop your smile at him anymore than you could with Tav. “Happy to help.”
His eyes stay on you a moment longer than appropriate, but when they drape down your body you think he’s almost sizing you up. For a fight, or romance, or maybe to steal your coat you aren’t sure.
You look to Tav for direction, waiting for the leader to…well, lead. Lae’zel should be next, but that’s when you notice you have an extra member. With you there it makes five travellers, but nobody has been sent to camp yet. Wherever that is. While you’d like a moment to sit and organize your thoughts, the idea of heading somewhere on your own was terrifying.
“I hear voices over that ridge,” Astarion announces. Everyone turns towards where he’s looking, just a few feet ahead where the path winds up and you know you’ll find two tieflings looking at Lae’zel. But you can’t hear them yet.
“Let’s check it out.” Tav is already moving before anyone can object. And like ducklings you follow him with Astarion, Gale, and Shadowheart.
Taglist:
@half-poison-and-half-hope
#reborn in baldur's gate 3 with no memory and plenty of gold#x reader#baldur's gate 3 fanfic#bg3#bg3 fanfic#bg3 fanfiction#gale dekarios x reader#astarion x reader
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PAWNS IN THE COSMOS
ㅤ↬┊synopsis ... namjoon was in love with you since the first day he saw you, but letting your magic paralize him, he never had the courage to admit it to you – that is, until he found out that you were his soulmate.
ㅤ⚘.fandom ... bts. ㅤㅤಇ.ft. ... namjoon x gn!reader. ㅤ⚘.genre ... long-shot. ㅤㅤಇ.content ... soulmate!au, college!au, fluff, angst, using of they/them prns for reader at the start. ㅤㅤಇ.word count ... 5.1k. ㅤ⚘.cole's note ... i originally wrote this for bts but posted for jjk but i regretted it so heres the original post <3 i hope u like it ♡
How is a person defined?
Of course we can delve into personality tangents and unique character traits that only each of us possesses in a perfect combination of stars and magic. However, this alone is not enough. A person is created by more than mere looks and personality; there are dreams, each person’s own ways, unique hearts that shine with specific colors conceived by each thought, each action, each desire.
A single personality is not enough to define a person – all the gods knew this. And, as such, a new system was created.
Numbers.
What more to define a person than the infinity of numbers that made up the universe?
All human beings were born marked with simple numbers that dictated their souls; from zero to infinity, passing through the infinities of decimals that each one had, the numbers managed to acquire a body in that new world.
Stuck on the back of their necks, hidden by occasional hair and various clothes, the numbers became something sacred in that society; not only was it something that defined a person, that made them unique, but they were also the main factor in relationships and connections. The thing is, bored with the eternity of cosmic lives, the gods liked to create small games that helped them in the static passage of time – and what more exciting than guiding the various lost souls to their better half?
A soulmate was something primordial.
Created long before the first star was born, soulmates roamed the world hand in hand, their stardust unique to each pair created by the various gods. They were essences without bodies, united only by cosmic dust that insisted on cradling them in the eternities of time and space in the universe. However, just star and cosmic dust was something monotonous, without any substance of its own, without a body of its own that made everything much easier to see, to be marveled at.
Thus, the first humans were created.
A connection that was only felt by the universe, beautified by the stars and constellations that they made their homes, was now something tangible, something that could be seen, something that could be admired. And, since then, relationships began to blossom in the world according to the seasons, making all the love that was felt to be the cause of all the misfortunes and happiness in the world.
Every year, small letters with a specific number and initials appeared on the bedside tables of thousands of people, a hint to eternal happiness appearing in black tones on a white background.
For years, humans followed their cards, creating happy and fulfilled lives for centuries, never once contesting the appearance of neither their cards nor their veracity – the gods commanded, the humans followed.
“Eighty-three million, two hundred and twenty thousand, six hundred and seventy-four point one hundred and ninety-three.”
“What?”
Hoseok placed his apple juice on the table and looked at his friend, intrigued by the numbers he recited so naturally.
“It’s their number.”
“Their?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow and let out a small pretentious smile, knowing perfectly well who Namjoon was talking about.
“Their. I saw it yesterday when they got off the bus. It was very brief, but I’m sure that was the number.”
“And what do you intend to do with this life-changing information?”
Namjoon looked at Hoseok for the first time since they sat at the bar table. A smile played on the brunette’s lips, his dark eyes shining with the possibilities that danced in his mind.
He leaned forward, his chest almost touching the plate with his sandwich and, in a whisper too low for such a noisy space, Namjoon spoke in a soft and quite convinced voice.
“Write down this number and compare it to the one on my card.”
“Did you receive your card?”
Hoseok’s question came out automatically, a trace of nervousness clinging to the various syllables, his dark eyes widening behind his sunglasses.
“Not yet,” Namjoon sighed and resumed his starting position, playing with some loose crumbs from his sandwich. “But I believe it’s coming soon. I don’t know how to explain it, but every time I look at them…”
The words that were going to come out of Namjoon died in his mouth without having a chance to see the light of day. Taken by a mystical force, a chance written by the cosmos, Namjoon raised his face at the exact moment you entered the bar.
You looked beautiful that day.
Favored by the beauty of that day, the sun’s rays painted your smile golden; your eyes shone with the light of new experiences, your words sounding as delicate as the breeze of that day.
You entered the bar without any worries, your laugh filling the space with the delicacy of its sound. You were with your group of friends, looking for a free table in that crowded bar for you to have lunch before your afternoon class. Your eyes scanned the compartment with some hope, a smile lingering on your lips after a joke from your best friend.
And then you noticed. In all that confusion, oblivious to your friends’ conversations, too focused on finding a place to sit, you saw Namjoon looking at you. Static, without any thought beyond his eyes, without any reaction when you approached him, your smile expanding with each step you took.
“Hello,” you stopped behind Hoseok, one of your hands resting on his chair as your eyes jumped from Namjoon to Hoseok. “Ready for the test?”
Hoseok put his hands on his head, ruffling some of his silky hair as he let out a small growl, which made you laugh. And what a laugh. What a melody sung by your lips that seemed to fill the entire bar, drowning out every sound that appeared there.
“I spent the night studying, but I couldn’t memorize anything,” Hoseok’s outburst was accompanied by a tired sigh, his body leaning back against the chair, making you let go of it. “I don’t think even a miracle could save me.”
“Think of it like this,” you walked to the side of the table, Namjoon and Hoseok on your sides, your group of friends in front of you waiting for you. “It’s about the Bible. Jesus will be with you.”
Hoseok gave you a small frown and picked up his apple juice again, giving Namjoon a little kick under the table.
“And you? Are you ready?” Namjoon spoke finally, holding his sandwich and taking a small bite as he waited for your response.
“What helps me is being able to take the Bible with me,” you confessed between smiles and winks. “But I’m confident. Our presentation actually went well.”
“The teacher liked it,” Namjoon set down his sandwich and looked at you. “I think we even make a good team.”
“And I wouldn’t give anything for you two,” you smiled as you gently ruffled Hoseok’s hair. “Well, I’m going now. See you later.”
Namjoon followed you with his gaze out of the bar, the way your body walked excitedly towards your friends, the way your smile didn’t leave your lips for a single second.
“Eighty-three million, two hundred and twenty thousand, six hundred and seventy-four point one hundred and ninety-three.”
Namjoon repeated the number again under his breath, his eyes still fixed on the bar door.
“I can’t believe the teacher gave us more work,” Namjoon grunted, storming into his room. “Where do you want to start?”
He placed his Bible on the desk, throwing his backpack onto the bed. Hoseok followed in his footsteps, throwing the book on the bed and placing the backpack on the floor, opening it immediately with a sigh.
“We can start with the document the teacher gave us…” Hoseok’s voice was full of doubts and uncertainties, his hands frantically searching his backpack for a notebook. “We can read it and go from there.”
Namjoon didn’t say anything.
Sitting down at the desk, he turned on his computer and waited a few moments until his desktop began to glow in shades of blue and silver. “You start with the document and I’ll look for which books we need to study.”
Hoseok nodded and, after making himself comfortable on his best friend’s bed, he began to dive into the waves of knowledge in the document, reading and rereading concepts and terms, looking for something in the various lines of ink that could help him in his new work.
Namjoon, in turn, opened the web page, typing a few words before spending minutes opening and closing tabs, desperately looking for help. Beside him, the Bible was open, several sheets of papers and memory aids reminding Namjoon which books he needed to highlight and look deeper into.
Shrouded in stories and theories, the two friends didn’t notice as the hours passed. Too focused on their work, taking some notes and highlighting the most important thing, Namjoon and Hoseok disconnected from the outside world, believing that, the sooner they finished that work, the sooner they would free themselves from the academic responsibilities that gave them so many headaches.
The sun was slowly setting.
From Namjoon’s bedroom window, the various street lamps began to shine with the certainty that a long night was approaching; cars and people retired to their homes at the end of a long day of work, and, in the sky, between the soft clouds and the vast dark blue, several stars made their way to the earth, telling in their death endless stories of past memories and lives lived.
Namjoon stretched out in his chair. Putting down the computer mouse for a moment and looking away from the screen for the first time since he got home, Namjoon felt tired, totally devastated by a complicated day in his life: the Classical Texts exam had gone wrong – no matter how many prayers were in the Bible, he knew that his grade would go down; the teacher, at the end of the exam, gave his students one last assignment in a week full of exams and presentations; and, to end the last ray of hope in Namjoon, that day had been another day in which he was unable to do anything other than admire you.
It had been almost two years, but Namjoon had simply withdrawn into a bubble of shyness that prevented him from functioning decently in front of you. He didn’t understand why, but you had a power over him, like a spell, an enchantment that prevented him from functioning normally in your presence. It all happened so fast, he didn’t even remember the first time he succumbed to your charms, but, once consumed by your unique, cosmic essence, he found himself trapped in a web of emotions that prevented him from leaving.
But now was not the time to dwell on you. Now Namjoon had an obligation to fulfill and, as much as he wanted to ignore it, he knew that his responsibility as a student had to be pleased.
“Do you want to order some food?”
Hoseok straightened up in bed, putting his pencil behind his ear, adjusting the sunglasses on his head. “I’m not very hungry…”
“But we need to eat,” Namjoon stood up with a small grunt, walking away from the desk and grabbing his cell phone. “I’m going to order some food and I’ll take the opportunity to call Jin and ask for his notes for tomorrow.”
Hoseok didn’t answer him.
With tired eyes and a yawn trapped in his mouth, Hoseok saw his best friend leaving the room, making the room plunge into serene silence.
Tired of studying, feeling a strong pain in his back, Hoseok fell onto the bed, taking out his cell phone and starting to explore the digital world while waiting for Namjoon to return.
Hoseok was freely lost among images and videos, reading loose sentences without any context, finding a bit of tranquillity in the chaos of others. Hoseok’s slender fingers moved across the screen with ease, clicking on images and links, allowing him to sink into a little peace before returning to work.
But no matter how involved he was in the digital world, that didn’t stop Hoseok from listening.
It was a faint, low sound, like the turning of a page. It was brief, lasting only a second, something too small to be noticed – but Hoseok noticed, Hoseok realized that something had happened, and when he sat back down on the bed and looked at Namjoon’s desk, he saw it.
A small, white card rested gently on the wooden surface. It was thin, almost invisible from Hoseok’s point of view, but those dark letters, that black that adorned the card left no room for doubt: Namjoon had just received his card.
Hoseok leaned forward, looking closely at the initials and numbers written on the card.
There was silence.
A dark silence took over Namjoon’s room, leaning into every corner, refusing to leave through the door that Namjoon had left open. The shadows in the room seemed thicker at that moment, gaining a bit of dimension when seen from the corner of Hoseok’s eye; it seemed like they were watching him, trying to keep Hoseok’s actions in their dark corners, silently judging everything Hoseok did, everything he thought.
But Hoseok continued to look at the card, memorizing the initials and numbers, repeating them in his mind over and over again. Until he heard Namjoon’s voice approaching the room and he let the shadows keep the secret he had just done.
Namjoon was at the bus stop patiently waiting. Letting the sun warm him through the bus stop window, Namjoon faced the road with a smile on his lips.
Seeing students and teachers walking up and down the street, hearing the happy birdsong and feeling the cool breeze of the day on his face, Namjoon couldn’t be happier at that moment. That day seemed as if the whole world had gained a new color, a new meaning, as if all the stars that made up the universe had arranged themselves especially to draw Namjoon’s path.
He was certain that in that day nothing would destroy his enthusiasm. Not when he held tightly to a small white card and waited patiently for a bus to arrive, for you to arrive.
It had been mere minutes since Namjoon arrived at the stop to see your bus arriving punctually at your building. Keeping all the enthusiasm he was feeling in a small box inside his heart, Namjoon approached you when you got off the platform, ready for another day of classes.
“Good morning!”
“Oh, good morning, Namjoon,” your smile painted constellations, illuminating the entire universe with a simple curve of affection and delicacy. “Were you waiting for me?”
“Eighty-three million, two hundred and twenty thousand, six hundred and seventy-four point one hundred and ninety-three.”
You stopped walking and looked seriously at your classmate.
Confused by why those numbers were recited so passionately, you waited for Namjoon to continue his reasoning. Looking closely at Namjoon, you couldn’t help but let out a small smile; there was something about his childish enthusiasm, his cosmic joy that made you feel the slightest bit comfortable.
“It’s your number, isn’t it?”
“And how do you know my number?” your smile had taken on a playful tone, not realizing where that conversation would lead you, or why he was having it with you at that moment. As such, and as always, you just waited.
“Because they gave me that number yesterday.”
Namjoon handed you the small card he kept in his hand. Curious about his words, you looked at that white piece of paper, seeing your number and initials in dark tones.
ㅤㅤY.N. 83220674,193
You remained silent for a moment while you assimilated all that information.
In reality, you hadn’t received your card yet, but you didn’t care. In so many years of life, you never had the need to get together with someone, to let the gods guide your destiny with a mere card – that didn’t mean you weren’t expecting it. You were never a romantic by nature, avoiding cliché films and closing the books when the couple began to express their eternal love for each other – that didn’t mean you didn’t want that magic for yourself.
The reality is that throughout your life you have had to worry about something more than the triviality that was love. From friendships to school, your entire life was made up of obstacles that prevented you from delving into the complex webs of romantic relationships that could have been.
But there it was. A card. Your number. Your initials. There was no denying it – Namjoon’s soulmate was you.
Still trapped in those complex numbers and the beautiful initials carved into the white of the card, your mind began to wander to a future that could exist, leaving you speechless, completely surrendered to the surprise of the event.
“You seem excited about that idea,” not knowing how to respond, not knowing how to act after that revelation, you tried to focus your attention on Namjoon, starting to walk into the building with your colleague always by your side.
“Just happy for the confirmation.”
“Confirmation?” You looked at Namjoon confused and he just smiled before opening the door to the building for you.
“I always knew it was you.”
You gave a small laugh that gently echoed through the interior of the building. “What made you so sure?”
“That’s what I felt.” Namjoon let a sigh escape him, his lips expanding more and more into the victorious smile he wore. “Since the first day I saw you.”
You looked curiously at Namjoon as you climbed the stairs to the second floor.
“I can’t explain it to you, but from the first day I saw you, I felt something inside me changed. It’s hard to explain, but it’s as if the forces of the universe were pulling me towards you. Many times, without meaning to, I was already looking at you and wondering how I could talk to you.”
Namjoon’s words traveled seamlessly to your ears, collecting all the celestial magic they could grab along the way. Namjoon’s confession appeared wrapped in the stardust of the sky that sheltered you, leaving you to smile shyly at your colleague’s frankness.
Could it be true? All the words Namjoon said seemed too whimsical to be real, his honesty appearing like a small butterfly on warmer days, flapping its wings and simplicity with the lightness of someone who didn’t care about what he said.
“Very well,” you said finally, opening the door to the classroom and giving Namjoon space to enter. “And what do you intend to do with this new information?”
“For starters,” smiled Namjoon, leaning against one of the desks, the one where you always sat, and putting his hands in his pants pockets, “I’m going to ask you out on a date.”
“What if I say no?”
You sat in your seat, placing your backpack on the table and looking at Namjoon with amusement. “I will invite you until you say yes.”
You wouldn’t go as far as to say you were in love, but the truth was you felt something.
You would never think that agreeing to go out with Namjoon would bring you the avalanche of feelings that you started to feel. There was something about him. Something that moved you, that managed to reach your core and comfort your heart as if it were a blanket. You couldn’t explain what it was, you couldn’t explain what it was like, you just felt it. And it was something so unique and unusual that it consumed you every time you were with Namjoon.
Since the day you agreed to go out with him, your whole world seemed to have changed.
“Explain something to me,” Namjoon stretched as he sat in the chair. Leaning forward and resting his chin on his hand, he stared at you, eyes so bright and passionate that he made you feel important.
“What?”
“What do I need to do so I can be yours?”
You choked on the water. The words that Namjoon said hadn’t crossed your mind, taking you by surprise.
You coughed once, twice, three times, placed the glass of water on the table and looked at Namjoon, your eyes still shining with the tears that had formed seconds ago.
“What?”
“I just want to know,” his smile was infectious. Whenever Namjoon looked at you, he smiled, a smile that spread across his face and made him more beautiful, more brilliant, as if that curve of his lips were the only detail about him. “We have already gone on several dates. We already know each other well. What is missing?"
You stared at Namjoon.
In fact, you felt something every time you were with Namjoon, your heart growing warmer with each moment shared with him. But that something was indescribable, you couldn’t understand the nature of that something. What was it? Where did it come from? Why did it torment you so much every time you were with Namjoon?
Yes. You could ignore it. You should just let yourself lay in the comfort of that feeling, and allow yourself to enjoy a little of the tranquility that that feeling offered you. But there was something about that feeling, there was something that made you feel nervous. Maybe it was because you were happy and it had been years since you last felt so carefree and light; maybe it was because you couldn’t explain what you felt, the lack of words and descriptions leaving you delirious. You didn’t know exactly what it was. You just knew you weren’t ready.
“I’m waiting,” you let out a small smile, looking at the water in the glass and thinking deeply about that something attacking your heart. What was that?
“For a formal request?” Namjoon let out a small laugh, so beautiful and melodious that it made the authenticity of your smile change tones, the small line becoming more real with that laugh. “I can kneel here right now and ask you to be yours.”
“No,” now it was you who laughed, holding Namjoon’s hands when he made a move to get up. “Don’t be silly!”
“So what do you want? Tell me and I’ll give you anything.”
“My card.”
You whispered your confession a little nervously, letting your voice get lost in the university bar.
Namjoon looked at you, the smile that beautified him so much gently fading as he thought and repeated your words in his mind. Your card. Your card? Why were you waiting for something you already knew? What did you want to find in your white piece? Why was confirming a number so important to you? Didn’t you feel your connection? Didn’t you feel how your souls were interconnected for generations and eras, your essence existing on the same star before inhabiting the human bodies that held you back from expressing your true love?
“Why?”
Namjoon’s voice had changed tone. Before playful, sprinkled with passion and affection, it was now serious, monotonous, without any feeling attached to the intonation of the syllables.
“Just…” you continued to stare at the glass of water, too embarrassed by your whim, thinking that your request was a betrayal for Namjoon. “I just want to be sure.”
Namjoon looked at you without showing any emotion. His bright eyes were now opaque, focused on your figure, studying your posture; his lips were in a straight line, too tense from the conversation to be able to express a mere smile.
Finally, he took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and putting his hands in his coat pockets.
“If that’s what you want, I’ll wait.”
Namjoon’s words gently lifted your chin, finally looking at him, seeing a small, shy smile on his lips, filled with a small sadness wrapped in understanding.
“Tell me your number.”
“Sixty-nine point zero, one, six, zero.”
“…six, zero,” Namjoon’s number was now saved on your cell phone. You were smiling, believing that that exchange of numbers could be the last drop to fill the glass of your doubts – it had to be him, you felt it.
Namjoon got up from his chair, smiling and offering you his hand.
You put your cell phone away and held Namjoon’s hand, feeling his warm, thin fingers intertwine with yours, gently pulling you out of the bar and taking you through the city’s flowery paths to your house.
Saying goodbye with a kiss on your forehead, Namjoon watched you enter your house, the smile he still wore being painted with love and complete devotion – oh, how he loved you.
You sighed when you entered the house. You were tired. Classes were becoming increasingly demanding and, with the semester almost over, the pressure only increased.
You placed your hands on your shoulders and pressed down hard as you walked to your room. Your back was burning, a fog of anxiety was clouding your mind, your feet were asking for a moment of rest.
You threw yourself onto the bed, leaving your backpack at the bedroom door. You were exhausted, you couldn’t even open your eyes. Ready to get some sleep before studying, you took your cell phone out of your pants pocket and placed it on the bedside table next to the white card.
A white card.
As if pinching you with electricity, the card woke you up to reality.
You quickly sat down on the bed, holding that piece of paper in your hands.
Finally the confirmation, finally the key to your happiness.
You abruptly pulled Hoseok into an empty room. After closing the door with some force, you faced your friend who looked at you confused and a little worried.
“Wha–”
“You should have told me.”
You cut Hoseok’s words without any difficulty, throwing your card at Hoseok, he fumbling to catch the lightness of the paper.
You were upset, completely furious. Your heart pounded with the knowledge of that betrayal, forcing you to look at Hoseok with angry eyes and trembling lips.
“What happe–”
“Look at the card,” you didn’t want to shout at Hoseok, it wasn’t in your nature to speak loudly to other people, but at that moment, totally consumed by all the emotions that arose in your heart, you couldn’t control your tone of voice, your words coming out louder than intended. “Look at the card and explain to me why you didn’t tell me!”
Hoseok’s dark eyes looked at you nervously, the glow that embellished them giving them a fear that was completely unknown to him. It took a while. He was still assimilating your words, repeating them in his head, trying to understand what you specifically meant. But, when all the dots connected, when your anger became justifiable and the card essential, Hoseok quickly looked at the card, letting out a small curse when he saw the initials and numbers that adorned the white piece of paper.
ㅤ J.H. 2430.1872
“I can explai–”
“I can’t believe it. It is really you! You switched the cards!”
You let out a fake laugh, turning your body to face the door in an attempt to calm down. After taking a deep breath once, twice, three times, you looked back at Hoseok, who now had a look of determination that didn’t match your conversation.
“He loves you.”
“He’s not my soulmate,” you couldn’t explain, but your eyes started to water. Anger? Despair? Betrayal? What emotion did you seek from the turbulent sea that shook your heart to make you want to cry?
“That doesn’t invalidate the fact that he loves you.”
You shook your head, your lips forming a fake, angry smile, painted with the turmoil that existed in your heart. “You know perfectly well it does.”
“Listen,” Hoseok approached you, the card held in one of his hands. “You like him. It’s noticeable! The way you look at him. The way you shine when you’re with him! Yo–”
“No!” you shouted without realizing it, snatching the card from Hoseok’s hand and waving it in front of his eyes. “You are my soulmate. It’s you I have to stay with. You are the one I have to love.”
“No. No! No!” now Hoseok was also shouting, desperate to make himself heard, wanting to explain himself at all costs. “You don’t have to keep your–”
“You know perfectly well what happens to those who don’t stay with their soulmate.” Sadness. Hurt. Suffering. Grief. Years of pure despair. Years of nothing but anguish. “Do you really want him to be like that? Consumed by the negativity of the universe?”
“How,” Hoseok laughed, a little insane with your argument, taking his hands to his head and pulling lightly his hair. “How is he going to be unhappy if he has loved you since the first day you met?”
“Feelings come and go,” your tone returned to normal, your gaze now trapping Hoseok in a box with no escape, your conversation turning from despair to frustration. “He wouldn’t be happy with me.”
Hoseok looked at you furious with your deaf ears. You looked at Hoseok irritated by his empty words.
The door opened.
Namjoon entered.
“I heard screams… Is everything okay?”
Namjoon’s eyes jumped from you to Hoseok.
He was confused, he didn’t understand why you were alone in an empty room screaming. On the other side of the door, Namjoon hadn’t been able to understand the nature of your argument, but now looking at you, he knew it was something serious.
“Tell him.”
Your eyes finally got tired, the first tear sliding easily down your face, taking with it a bit of the sadness of reality. “Tell him, Hoseok.”
“Tell me what?”
Now Namjoon started to get nervous.
What had happened between the two of you to create such a tense atmosphere? How did the two of you, the ones who were always joking with each other, the ones who knew nothing more than laughter and smiles – how did the two of you end up screaming and crying?
“Tell him how I will never be happy with him because I am destined to love you.”
ㅤㅤ♡ feedback is appreciated ♡
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𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐆𝐎
↳ a foul-mouthed, aggressive, pro-soccer player on the verge of being disqualified from the biggest game of his life, is tossed into a fake relationship with a spoiled heiress to salvage their bad public reputation. what exactly could go wrong?
𖨆♡𖨆 itoshi rin x fem!reader
cw. fake dating, mentions of alcohol, language, explicit smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, reader wears makeup and a dress, slight choking, submissive!reader, manhandling
masterlist | playlist
#3: OUT THE BOTTLE
The drive back to your father’s home was silent and terse, filled with pockets of ruminating thoughts where you wondered just what the fuck was Itoshi Rin’s problem.
You had tried your best to be nice to him. Sure, you could be a little over-friendly, but all he had to do was tell you to quit it and you would step back with an apology presented on a silver platter. But, no—he had dug up such an immense past wound, it made you nauseous just thinking about how casually he threw it into your face.
It’s like he can’t even communicate like a normal person.
The most he could do was stop antagonising you. Your head started to hurt and you wished you were anywhere but here; sitting in a bar and nursing a drink then fighting back tears of frustration beading on your lash line. You sniffed, and dashed at your brimming eyes.
Fuck Itoshi Rin. Fuck him and his stupid, rude ass.
You were done with this agreement.
Before you could drive down the road into your father’s house, Junni called you up. Her voice filled the interior of your Coupe, and she sounded excited.
“Y/N? Are you home?”
Hoping your thick voice would not break, you murmured, “No, I’m not. Why?”
“I heard about you and Rin,” she bubbled, and the edge of a whine was hard to miss from her saccharine tone. “Why didn’t you tell me? Were you embarrassed of me finding out?” You barely had time to reply to her when Junni’s next question came shooting in your direction, reeking of a thinly-veiled attempt at digging out more gossip. “I’m in Onmoya right now having a drink. Come and join me.”
Something dark and thrilling tingled in the recesses of your soul; begging for a chance to be released. For reckless abandonment to take you by the throat and lead you down a path of self-destruction. The wise inner voice you tried to cultivate during your short time appeasing Rin reared up, but you shushed her. Told her to fuck off and let you have this night.
Despite the low tones of afternoon shades, Onmoya was a bar where many could spend hours in. The friendly staff, good food and general ambiance once pulled you in to stay past two in the morning—and you had only gone there for lunch.
So, you drove to Onmoya. You changed out of your hoodie and shorts into a tight, red dress you kept in your Coupe’s boot.
You ordered a set of Jagerbombs and Junni listened to you as you started to slur about how much you hated soccer. She tried to get your loose tongue to impart more insight into your relationship with Rin, but you came up blank everytime she pressed forward with a question. What could you say? You barely knew the guy in the first place.
A part of you—the one which still held a shred of lucidity—admired how he had found a loophole for that stupid rule (you couldn’t remember its name now).
Maybe Itoshi Rin was too distant because he wanted to keep his feelings in an airtight container of separation; so they would never touch his waking world. You snorted miserably and your head bumped forward, almost sagging onto the table.
“Y/N,” Junni’s alarm voice filled your hazy mind. “H-hey. Do you want me to call Rin to pick you up?”
You barely responded, and she started to panic. The young heiress snapped your phone off the table and punched in your passcode, opening your contact list and dialling Rin’s number. If you had an iota of soberness, you would be mortified that someone had discovered that your fake boyfriend’s number was in your emergency contacts; terrified that he would find out and judge you for such a rash presumption on this relationship.
There was nothing you could do to stop Junni from calling him and as much as you whined and pleaded for her to send you home, she concocted an excuse that she had to be in downtown Tokyo by tonight.
Liar.
She just didn’t want you puking in her Audi.
The lights of the bar suffused across your vision like a hazy glow, and you weren’t aware of a tall figure making his way through the crowd, his teal eyes set on your hunched figure.
“—Rin, right?”
Someone grunted, low and masculine, and you were hoisted up from your slump on the table, into a sturdy circle of arms.
“Thanks,” you heard a familiar voice murmur. “I’ll handle her from here.”
The moment your head thumped onto firm muscle and the smell of musk hit your nose, you knew it was him. The thought of Rin seeing you this vulnerable injected a small dose of sobriety into you, and you struggled to escape his embrace.
“M’fine! I can walk.”
He clicked his tongue. “You can’t. Now shut up and let me carry you back to the car.”
You protested, but Rin was a good head taller than you and much more athletic; he would always have the upper hand in terms of strength. Surprisingly, your drunken murmurings for him to let you go were met with resistance and grunts.
One arm wrapped around his shoulder and another firmly around his waist, Rin let you lean on him, patiently matching every wobbly step you took with a short stride. He didn’t rush you or make fun of you when you almost knocked your head on his car roof. He didn’t throw any rude remarks when you groaned and slumped against his window, trying in vain to hold onto your last shred of self-control not to spill your guts in his car.
When you reached home, he took the liberty to carry you in his arms, ignoring your squeaks of protest. Every jarring step he took made the alcohol slosh in your belly and you were almost to the door when you whined and smacked his chest.
“R-Rin, I-I need to puke…”
The door barely fell open and the moment your feet touched the ground, you drunkenly dashed to the closest bathroom and spewed your guts down the porcelain bowl. You dry-heaved until you couldn’t anymore; until your empty stomach ached and your throat hurt. With the cold seeping into your cheek and tears glueing your lashes shut, you were a sight for sore eyes that you almost didn’t blame him for locking himself in the bedroom and washing his hands clean off the responsibility to sober you up.
But, you were also wrong this time.
Rin braved the storm of your sickness and helped to hold your hair back, kneeling next to you as you struggled to catch your breath. A glass of water was pressed into your hand, and you shamefully chugged it down, bleary eyes locking on his disapproving expression.
“You’re a menace, you know that.”
The first pulsing of a migraine was starting behind your eyes and you groaned, dropping your forehead to the toilet bowl rim and bracing yourself for his reproach.
“So irresponsible—”
“Not tonight, Rin.” You were dazed at how hoarse you sounded. “I don’t wanna fight tonight.”
Wisely, he snapped his mouth shut. Rin helped you stand so you could wash up and gargle your mouth. Once or twice he caught you in his arms when your balance faltered on the way to the shower, and he was completely distracted from trying to keep you from giving yourself a concussion, that what you were doing clicked in a second too late when you started to tug your dress over your head.
“Ow!” you cried when the neckline caught on your earring. “Ow, ow, ow…”
Your whines diminished when you felt sturdy hands helping you untangle the caught jewellery from your silk dress. His expression remained impassive when you stood before him in your thong and bra, swaying on your own two feet. If soberness had reached you fast enough, you might’ve even noticed the reddened tint on his cheeks.
“Come on,” he mumbled, tugging you by the hand towards the glass shower. “You need to clean up.”
Suddenly, you broke free from his grasp, spurred on by the respite of warm water flowing down your aching muscles, and pushed the door open.
“Hey—!”
Rin barely had time to stop you from flicking the shower button, his stare of consternation burning into your back when you shrieked with delight, water cascading down your entire form. Soaking your delicate lingerie and ruining your makeup.
“Oi, idiot. You’re still in your underwear—”
You giggled and flicked your hair to the side, catching his eye from over your shoulder. “I know, but it feels good. C’mon. Haven’t you ever showered with your clothes on?”
Rin’s expression withered in pain, as if the thought itself was distressful. You didn’t expect him to roll his eyes and huff, stripping off his shirt and then his shorts. Your widening gaze trained right to the bulge hidden by the thin material of his underwear, your entire body frozen in shock. He didn’t give you time to wrap your head around his sudden change of mind, pushing open the shower door and nudging you closer to the wall so he could stand under the fall of water; the residual steam soaking into his skin, the tips of his dark hair sticking to his face.
Your mouth had gone dry, and you stared up at him, suddenly—painfully—aware of your nudity. How there was nothing separating you from his darkening gaze.
He took a step closer, and you shrank against the wall, your back flush on the cold marble.
“Turn around.” Despite his proximity, Rin did not try to scare you. Instead, he was gentle when he pushed your hair aside and manoeuvred your closer towards his chest. He didn’t hesitate to unclip your bra and toss it onto the floor; nor wait for you to give your consent when he hooked his thumbs into your panties and drew them down your legs.
Even with your blatant nakedness right in front of him, Rin did not take advantage of your vulnerable position.
He got down onto his knee, unlooping your panties from your ankles and tossing it aside to join your sodden bra. With nothing keeping you hidden, you started to panic, heart doubling in speed at what he would do next.
Sex was nothing new to you, but in the throes of it all, you barely remembered the minute details. It was always a quick fuck, some spooning and you were out of their apartments before the sun could break over the horizon. However, this was different. Completely foreign.
You were alert and absorbing every little change of Rin’s expression when he straightened up to his full height again—his flustered reaction evident from the twitch of his lips and the furrow in his brow. You memorised the curve of his palm and the roughness of his skin when he started to lather soap onto your back, gently bathing you. You closed your eyes when he rubbed your back, and shivered when his fingers grazed your cheeks, forcing your face up to his so he could remove your makeup.
Those beautiful teal eyes were focused on his handiwork; trying to get every trace of makeup off your skin with a warm wash rag.
You couldn’t help yourself and steadied your palms against his defined chest; quietly surprised when he did not push you away. He didn’t even react when you twined your arms around his neck or when you threaded your fingers in his hair. Rin only paused his ministrations when you started to shift closer, your body pressed against his.
One second, he had set the cloth down, and the next, his lips were on yours.
You kissed him like he was water and you were parched for his presence for days on end. Rin indulged you by not pulling away; surprising you when he started to tighten his grip around your waist.
For an asshole, Itoshi Rin was a good kisser, leaving you breathless for more when his hips pressed flush to your own. You could feel something half-hard poking your lower belly, and you barely had time to gasp before he had slid to his knees again. This time, Rin’s eyes were two molten teal pools, and you had little doubt of his next intention. He skimmed his lips down your thighs, tracing the ridges of your hip to map out your body under his touch.
Your mind spun, threatening to fall off its axis. The fog of your thoughts from the alcohol was starting to lift, giving you some semblance of clarity back again. Just in time for you to feel his mouth right above your soaking slit.
Rin glanced up at you through hooded, subdued eyes, and you held your breath at the sight of his pink tongue peeking out to glide between your folds. Whether you were sensitive from the alcohol or buzzing from the sudden elation of his touch, you let out a loud moan, and slapped a hand over your mouth, warming with embarrassment.
He didn’t comment on your sudden slip of composure, content to spread your folds and trace his tongue over the swell of your clit. Your fingers found purchase in his hair again, and for a split second, something tangible washed over you. It buoyed you with lightness, giving your fragile hope wings.
For no matter how thick the fog of deception covers the visible, glimmers of truth would still shine in the periphery like a promise.
You saw it in his teal eyes, felt it in the sturdy grip around your waist. Rin’s mouth left your twitching clit with a soft ‘pop’ and he stood straight again. This time, there was no hesitation between you both when he reached out for you and you met him in the middle.
Your thighs were wrapped around his waist, and the steam seemed to cling lovingly around the both of you, enveloping you in tandem with lust. Rin grunted when his cock sheathed into your tight heat and you groaned, head falling back when he started to move.
Words could not compare to the whisper of damp skin on skin; the press of his lips on yours.
Through those fleeting kisses, you tasted yourself and his resignation; his first offer of peace. And in yours, he drank in your ardour and quick, bubbling passion.
Rin paced you through your first orgasm when it crashed around you, placing soft kisses and murmurs of praise on the delicate column of your neck. He steadily held you to his chest, almost cradling you with no sign of fatigue despite how long he had held you up to fuck you against the shower wall.
“Such a dirty, desperate girl,” he murmured, and you swore your vision tunnelled; your mind spinning from his sudden filthy statement.
Rin didn’t give you a chance to wrap your head around his words, easing out of the shower with mincing steps and sitting you on the wide bathroom counter, sweeping aside your makeup and skincare to make space for his large palms to press flush on the cool marble. He tugged your chin up to face him, and you held his gaze when he pushed inside of you again, a low groan of fuck falling from his intumescent lips.
“Look at me.”
The natural dominance dripping from his tone and the stretch of his cock settling right into your tight heat made you whimper. As if it wasn’t enough, Rin wrapped a hand around your throat, fingers digging lightly into your pulse point as he choked you softly while you struggled to take his length.
“I said—look at me.” Your whines were growing incoherent, the rush of alcohol spiking down south made your entire pussy sensitive to his length touching every tender spot. He felt his dick twitch harder when your lachrymose eyes latched into his steely, wild, teal ones, slowly succumbing to his perverted desires. “Hmm. Looks like you can follow orders after all.”
Rin pried your mouth apart with his thumb, his large palm wide enough to cover half of your neck. His long fingers tightened around the column of your throat, forcing you to stay put so he could shove his thumb roughly down your throat, making you gag lightly.
“Take it,” he murmured. “Show me how good you can be.”
You tried—you wanted to prove you were the best. Softly, you suckled on his calloused thumb, swirling your tongue over his rough skin and peering up at him through glossy eyes.
Your pussy gave a little shudder around his length and Rin inhaled sharply, brows furrowed and a low groan vibrating from his chest.
“You like this, huh? Being treated so lewdly. You’re practically melting around my cock.” His heated words were shaded in soft murmurs that contrasted heavily with his firm thrusts. You wished you could come up with something witty, but his thumb pinning your tongue down barely gave you the space to throw back your words into his face.
Itoshi Rin had effectively rendered you mute and bending to his whims.
“Be good for me,” the dark-haired striker whispered as he removed his thumb from the heat of your mouth, swiping your spit off by smearing it over one heaving tit. “And maybe I will show you some mercy and make you feel good.”
Your choked moan and teary, desperate eyes, ignited something feral and primal in him, and Rin hitched your thighs higher around his defined waist, starting to chase both your pleasures down with pure determination and lust.
The sensation of this position was thrilling; it was far more intimate and open than when he had taken you against the wall. You could hear his heavy breathing, feel his thighs tensing around yours. His kiss was clumsier this time, sloppily enveloping your entire mouth. Rin kissed you like how you imagined he dominated the other players on the field; with determination and a flair for possession.
He pressed you against the cool mirror, and you whimpered at how deep he was in you—almost kissing your cervix, his hazy eyes latched onto your fucked out expressions.
There was something utterly gorgeous about how he was unravelling from your walls clinging around his cock.
His cheeks were dusted with pink, mouth parted slightly and a bit of drool chasing down his chin; pretty teal eyes hazy and unfocused. Pussydrunk. Itoshi Rin was getting pussydrunk on you.
You swiped the trail of spit down his chin with your tongue, earning a low groan which rumbled underneath your splayed palms on his chest; culminating with your tongue deep in his mouth. Rin was grabbing your ass hard enough to leave marks on it, and you were desperate to feel his control snap. To feel him fill you up good.
“Cum for me,” you panted softly against his mouth. “Let me feel you, Rin. Please… Cum in me.”
His hips stuttered, and the hot, twitching heat behind your navel tightened with another knot. Ready to snap.
“Fuck,” he gritted, forehead falling heavily onto yours. “Fuck. G’na—I’m gonna…”
You started to grind down on his length, the sloshing sounds and wet smacks of both your sexes meeting loud and obscene in this bathroom.
Rin groaned when he felt you squeezing down on him, and his breathing picked up a notch; his heart throwing erratic beats under your palm. He groaned, low and deep, and without warning, strings of warmth filled you up.
It triggered something in you—got you gasping and whining when he started to pump his seed deep into you; his stamina still going strong.
“R-Rin,” you cried, and he took the chance to seal his lips over yours again, long lashes tickling your cheekbones. This kiss was messier, painted in huffs of desperation and your pussy started to quiver around him again.
Using his thumb, he rubbed your clit until you squeaked and started to flinch away from the overstimulation. But, he didn’t give you room to escape, growling under his breath and tightening his hold around your waist as he traced messy circles on your throbbing bud.
“R-Rin!” your scream shattered through the peace, and you were sure you looked unhinged; desperately chasing your second high. It was almost painful—this excruciating pleasure he elicited in you.
Acutely now, you were aware of your body reaching its final tether to composure, and you choked out his name, vision whitening as the high crashed into you with the force of a thousand bricks. Smothering your senses with pure ecstasy.
The walls of the bathroom shimmered; your wails trembled through the muggy steam from the heated ardour you and Rin created. Your nose burned with the scent of musk and sweat, and you were barely lucid to the sensation of more cum filling you up.
Sapped of his energy, Rin leaned his full weight against you, smushing you against the mirror. His breath dragged against your shoulder, and you held on tightly to him, as if he would disappear after one blink.
You regained some semblance of motion after a few blank minutes, and tried to stand. But, Rin had recovered faster and was lifting you into his arms again. You didn’t protest when he brought you to the sofa, your clammy skin sliding uncomfortably against the leather surface. Neither did you make a sound when he laid next to you, pulling you into his sticky embrace.
The exhaustion from the events of tonight crashed into you, and within seconds, you were out like a light.
… Rin fell asleep a few minutes after you did, tracing your features with his bloodshot, teal eyes.
Menace. He tucked you underneath his arm, too tired to give into his self-inflicted exasperation. I should kill her when I wake up… his eyes slid close, a drowsy stupor smothering the tail end of his thoughts; his vitriol defeated by the tender embrace of sleep and your steady breathing pulling him deeper into unconsciousness.
The sunlight grazed your bare face, coaxing you awake.
Someone’s chest was rising and falling underneath your cheek, but you were too comfortable to see who it was. Must be some dude from the bar, you consoled yourself, feeling your consciousness dip back into sleep. Five more minutes. Then, you would leave his apartment to go back to yours.
He shifted underneath you, and wrapped one strong arm around your waist. Whoever he was, he smelled good. Like musk and rain. The image of a soccer field, fresh from a drizzle, popped into your mind and you sighed happily, thinking how nice it was that your fling for the night smelled like petrichor.
“Hey, quit drooling on me.”
Your mind shattered into reality when you fully comprehended the cadence of that tone.
Shooting up, you shrieked when you were faced with one impassively irritated Itoshi Rin. Your eyes fell on his broad, naked chest, and you quickly looked down at your own body, surprised to find it as bare as his.
Slapping your hands over your breasts, you squeaked in fear, backing away from him and the tangle of his arms, the couch quilt haphazardly thrown onto your naked body slipping down your shoulders.
“What are you doing here?!”
“I live here.”
The memories of last night came flooding back, your expression betraying your every thought. His muscular build flush with yours. Your tongue tracing a shiny path from his chin to his lips. The faint recollection of his cock stretching you out.
Shit.
You backed away, uncaring that you were naked before him, eyes wide and brimming with disbelief.
“Did we…?”
He arched one perfect brow, seemingly unperturbed. You could not read his unfathomable expression, struggling to find the words to continue on with your daft observation.
“Obviously.”
The ache between your thighs seconded his gruff reply, and you groaned, covering your face with your hands.
“Great. I have to take a morning after pill now. Thanks, asshole.”
He scoffed. “Huh. I clearly remember it was you who seduced me into getting in the shower with you.” Rin grumbled under his breath like a little boy. “I wouldn’t even think of fucking you if you didn’t start to strip like a chea—”
You slapped a cushion onto his face, halting his demeaning words. “Shut up! None of this would’ve happened if you just agreed to be my friend!”
He ripped the pillow from your hands with a snarl so fierce on his impassive face, you faltered and went tumbling back into the wide sofa. Rin was on top of you in a second, and your legs automatically wrapped around his waist to steady yourself from toppling off the tall seat.
The next few minutes were a blur.
Sloppy, bruising kisses were shared. His tongue was back in your mouth and you suckled on the pink muscle desperately, grinding your aching clit on his half-hard cock. Your hands tangled in his hair and he was painting your neck, chest and tits with more hot kisses. He sucked on your nipples and tongued them till they were swollen and sensitive, and you cried out, tilting your hips upwards. Making it easy enough for his cock to slip into your soaked hole.
“Fuck,” Rin choked when you started to bite down on his shoulder to muffle your wails. “E-easy there, you menace. You’ll leave a mark.”
You didn’t listen, moving your mouth to his neck and starting to decorate his pale skin with red bites. He groaned when you sucked on his pulse point, thrusts growing sloppier and more desperate.
“Fuck, fuck,” he cursed, droplets of sweat chasing down his temples. You whined when his wide eyes latched onto yours, the pretty teal of his irises completely swallowed by his dark pupils. Rin turned you around onto your hands and knees, using this new position to take you from the back.
Your thighs and arms trembled trying to hold yourself up, exhausted from the night before when he had worn you down. This new position had you seeing white, despite the fatigue in your limbs, and you gasped when he reached forward to twist and milk your nipples.
The rough pad of his index finger moved down your body to rub quick circles around your bundle of nerves, and you muffled your shriek by pushing your face into the pillows, completely submissive to his will. In this position, you weren’t privy to his bright eyed, frenzied gaze, or his mouth fell slack when you started to mewl his name so prettily.
Rin was solely focused on making you cum, his thrusts erratic and deep. It thrilled him to no end to see you losing your composure on his cock, whining and gasping his name; fuelling his ego and his desire to watch you crumble for him.
The curve of your spine arching upward and your lips parting in gasps made his heart expand. The sun rays weaved in your hair and on your skin, highlighting the natural command of your beauty. He had never noticed how attractive your side profile was until it was silhouetted by the gentle morning light.
“Fuck—Rin!” your whimpers slammed him back to reality and he broke free of his spellbound fugue. “I’m gonna—”
“Cum.” His command coupled with the harsh circles he rubbed onto your clit, had you seeing stars for the third time in 24 hours. I’m so close.
The silence was broken by the sloppy sounds of your pussy taking his cock, exacerbated by your teeth grinding together, your dissolution close enough to taste.
Rin never stopped rubbing your clit, and with one final, loud cry, your control gave out and your body snapped in its natural crescendo of mounting pleasure, the passion consuming you whole.
Your scream of his name rebounded across the penthouse, second to his loud grunts for you to cum for him. The exhaustion slammed into you the minute your walls stopped squeezing down on him, and before you could slump forward, Rin caught you in his embrace. The sensation of your walls milking his cock for what it was worth had his body tightening and his lips at your ear, mumbling your name in between filthy, low groans.
Hot ropes of his cum filling you up would never cease to take you by surprise, and you moaned, breathy and edged with pleasure, at how full you felt from his single load.
Rin’s strength finally faltered and he slumped onto his side, bringing you along so your back was pressed to his chest, caging you to his body heat.
The world stopped spinning for a split second, long enough for you to catch your breath.
Whatever you wanted to say to him, any lingering irritated jab, dissipated into thin air. It was a novel experience to linger in his presence without defaulting to hostility, and you had an inkling Rin was as disconcerted as you were at this arresting development.
“So,” you started in a light tone, not wanting to piss him off just when you two were starting to warm up to each other.
The heat from his much bigger body seeped into your skin, comforting you with the scent of petrichor and musk, reminding you that you were both way past the ‘warming up to each other’ phase.
Rin hummed. At least he wasn’t asking you to shut up.
You continued. “Do you think we should tell Ego about this?”
His arms reflexively tightened around you, and butterflies swarmed your belly from the involuntary movement.
Finally, Rin spoke after a few minutes of stewing in silence, shocking you from the lull.
“No,” he murmured in finality. “Let’s just take this one day at a time, yeah?”
Fine by you. Smothering your grin, your eyes slipped close and your shoulders relaxed. Unwittingly melting into his embrace.
The morning slipped past peacefully.
© all works belong to lalunanymph. do not copy, repost or claim as your own.
#itoshi rin smut#rin itoshi x reader#rin itoshi x you#blue lock rin itoshi#itoshi rin#blue lock x reader#blue lock angst#blue lock smut#bllk smut#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#bllk x reader#series: between love & ego#🦢 writes
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The Goat is a Scapegoat
Since I’m writing this before the update, so still don’t know WHAT THE HECK IS GOaT’S DEAL LIKE WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? I’m just analyzing the symbolism.
I think the Goat (I like to call them Billie) is not a goat for no reason. Obviously, goats are very heavily associated with demons and the occult, which is kinda this game’s whole thing.
But, I don’t think the Goat is just some generic sabbatic goat, I think the Goat is specifically meant to be a scapegoat.
The Lamb is literally a sacrificial lamb (which is a metaphor of someone that is sacrificed for a greater good, e.g. Jesus “Lamb of God” Christ. And our player character’s story in the game is based on that. Lamb’s first death was for the “greater good” of the Old Faith, and every death after that was again for the sake of someone else [Narinder]. You only later get to take fate back into your own hands by refusing to be sacrificed again.).
So, it’d make sense if player 2 the Goat is also inspired by existing religious/occultic symbolism and metaphor. Out of all the associations goats have, scapegoat makes the most sense to me. A scapegoat is someone who is sacrificed to absolve another of sin. It’s similar enough to the concept of the sacrificial lamb to work as a foil while still being interestingly distinct.
(Which, by the way, I’ve seen some people imagining what players 3 and 4 might look like, but it’s always just another caprinae? An antelope? I feel like the fact goats and sheep are related is coincidental, Massive Monster is going for the sacrificial animals/satanic symbolism here. Player 3 and 4 would be a bull {Moloch} and a snake.)
In my head cannon, the Goat wasn’t sacrificed by the bishops to prevent a prophecy, their death was not meant to avert some wrath from an avenging death god. But they sure as heck were hunted.
In Goat’s universe, Narinder (who is a doggy, of course) is never imprisoned, so there was no prophecy. Even so, the Bishops are still cursed by their sin, guilty of acts so profane and unnatural they are unforgivable except by death. They committed a horrible crime against Shamura, the most innocent, who cared for and raised each of them as if they were their own spiderlings, Shamura is the one they love most of all.
So intense is the Bishops’ guilt and regret, so pure their sin, it’s begun to eat away at them and physically deform them, blinding, muting, deafening, maddening, paralyzing. And it corrupts their divine domains, where there were once benevolent gods of Peace, Plenty, Healing, Knowledge, and Death, there are now bitter gods of Chaos, Famine, Plague, a-and Death still —but, like, even scarier death!
Since the only way to be absolved of such a crime is to die, and they don’t wanna do that, they must find a surrogate to die in their stead. So they blame it on some random vulnerable minority. The goats! So they genocide all the goats until there was only one left, “the Goat”, who now both metaphorically and literally holds all the gods’ sins. With their death, the bishops' atonement shall finally be complete.
Yeah, except that Shamura, corrupted into the fell mad god of war, has not forgiven them, so makes the Goat their undying Vessel and sends them to deliver just punishments and executions to the four bishops.
As to why the Goat is helping the Lamb? While Lamb is a messianic figure, Goat is a sin-eater. The Goat can never escape their nature of being a perpetual scapegoat, always taking on the guilt and responsibility of others, whether they want to or not. Forced to swallow the sin of four dark gods, burdened by it since the very moment they were born, certainly can’t have any positive effects on the soul, metaphysically and psychologically. Even though they’ve cleansed themself of sins in a baptism of divine ichor, that cavernous void it left in their heart will just refill again.
Why could I not save the goats? Why did I sacrifice so many of my own followers?
No matter what choices the Goat makes, they will always feel guilty about something, because they have never gotten to know what it’s like to be allowed to be innocent.
Perhaps, by walking their path a second time, by atoning twice, by helping another in a similar position to themself, by dying repeatedly in their stead on the field of battle, Goat will finally be free.
Goat never kills Shamura since that would not redeem them, it would not allow them to stop being a scapegoat like how it allowed Lamb to stop being a sacrificial lamb. That would only be possible through enlightenment, by finally internalizing that it was never their fault.
Then again, maybe Goat is just a heckin’ weirdo who really likes fighting and mogging sheep. They are the chosen vessel of war, after all.
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Wanda and Nat are both such sweet and gentle souls with R, so I'm wondering how a fight would go down. All 3 of them during an argument and the aftermath of it all
˚⋆。°౨ৎ wandanat and dove don’t fight often, they’re usually really good with communication and patience, but they do get into it like any other couple. most times it’s dove that's stuck in the middle as the two avengers go toe to toe, but sometimes, she finds herself in the center of the problem. their spats are usually resolved pretty quickly though, they’re too soft to stay mad for long. ౨ৎ °。⋆˚
warning(s) — alludes to elements of ageplay/discussion of headspace although brief and non-descriptive, mentions of pietros death and canon events, primarily fluff tbh (i got carried away)
The air was thick as you stood red-faced in the doorway of Wanda’s office, flustered and overwhelmed as she trailed behind you, arms crossed over her chest, not willing to drop the topic despite your pleas. Poor Natasha was caught in the crossfire of your argument, looking between the both of you with a pitied understanding. Tension had been rising for days, all three of you had felt it, but the coil had finally snapped when Wanda made a passive aggressive comment about your recent comings and goings.
“Wanda!” You pulled at your hair, eyes brimming with tears that were both angry and hurt. You’d seen her like this a few times, but her anger had never been directed toward you. Now, her venomous words sunk into your skin as she seethed and ranted on and on about your absence and ill-mood. You couldn’t help the long hours you spent held up in the library. You couldn’t help that when you finally did return home, you were drained and too exhausted to maintain a proper conversation, just wanting to sleep. Your dissertation was due in only a matter of weeks, and you’d spent months slacking off in favor of spending time with her and Natasha. That wasn’t their fault, you’d never blame them for the choices you made, but there wasn’t any more time for games as your deadline approached, but she hadn’t seen it that way. “I’m here now!” You nearly stamped your foot, words caught in your throat as you tried to disarm your loaded girlfriend. Your limbs felt like jelly at your sides, nerves filled with static energy as you attempted to break through to her.
“Wands,” Natasha tried to interject for the second time, worry etched across her features as she watched you spiral further down into yourself as the argument dragged on, only a shell of the woman she loved. Confrontation was not your thing, both of them knew that, but Wanda had become so blinded by her own trauma, she didn’t realize what she was saying, or who she was saying it too. All she felt was that same twinge of abandonment she’d experienced on Sokovia when Pietro drew his last breath. All she recognized was that once again, somebody she loved was pulling away.
“Don’t.” Wanda flinched away from Natasha’s touch, her eyes slitted into daggers. She wasn’t seeing you, not really anyways. She was seeing red, and when she got to this point, so caught up in her head that all she saw was tendrils of chaos magic and flashes of red, it was best to just let her calm down on her own terms. “Don’t touch me.” She put distance between herself and Natasha’s soft body with a raised palm, shuddering violently as her emotions worked on her patience and outer reserve. You never liked seeing her like this, but you especially didn’t like being the cause.
On the few occasions that you’d witnessed this side of her, it was usually some moron at work that wound her up to this point, but now it was you, and you felt sick to your stomach watching her break. Standing in the doorframe of her office, your laptop still open on her desk and illuminating the otherwise dark room, you watched helplessly as she walked away, muttering beneath her breath that she was going to bed. Your heart sank to your feet as you watched the guest bedroom door swing close, flinching into yourself when the harsh slam ricocheted off the walls and bounced off of your skin.
“I just-” You looked at Natasha helplessly, not knowing what words to say to get her to understand. You didn’t have to say anything though, Natasha knew. Sadly, she closed the space between your lonely bodies, letting you fall into her chest when she was in arms distance. Your sobs broke her heart, but there was only so much she could do to ease the pain you were feeling. It was Wanda that you needed, Wanda that you wanted, but the other half of your heart was locked away and isolated all because you failed to better prioritize your work.
“I know, milaya devushka.” One hand held your waist while the other cradled the back of your head as she let you weep into her shoulder and dampen her tank top. “She just needs some time.”
A crestfallen wail rattles your chest, pleading eyes searching Natasha’s face for any indication that this isn’t real. You’ve never fought like this before, and you didn’t like the way it felt in your belly as you thought about the empty space that would take up your bed tonight. “She’s mad at me.”
“She’s not mad.” Natasha shook her head, letting go of your head so that she could grasp your chin in her calloused hand, keeping your eyes locked on hers instead of letting you hide away again. “She’s scared. You’ve spent the last few months attached to her hip, dorogoy. I know that you’ve been putting off your assignment, she knows that you’ve been putting off your assignments, but right now, I think she’s confusing your absence with abandonment. She’s not used to you being gone, just like you weren’t used to her having to work long hours in the office. She just needs to adjust, she’ll realize eventually.”
“She was mean.” You admit, tears soaking your cheeks as you rest against Natasha’s palm. She hates seeing you so beat up over this, hates knowing your delicate heart has been through the ringer at the expense of someone you love the most, but all she can do is be there for you and hope that everything falls back into place. Couples fight, especially ones in your situation, but she also knows that Wanda’s more than just a girlfriend at the end of the day. She’s the one you confide in first, the one you seek out when you want someone to understand you without having to explain anything, she’s your Mommy, and the balance of your relationship will never be as simple as just romantic lovers with a history of traumatic events.
“I know she was mean, baby. You just have to give her some grace right now.” You nod weakly, letting Natasha led you into the dark bedroom that lacks Wanda’s presence, sinking into the mattress with limbs as heavy as your heart, hoping that tomorrow is a better day.
˚₊‧ ౨ৎ ‧₊˚
Morning came before your body was willing to accept the kiss of sunlight against exposed skin, but truthfully it wasn’t the approaching dawn that woke you, it was the sensation of a body sinking into bed. With your head on Natasha’s chest, you knew it wasn’t the assassin that slipped in next to you, so it must’ve been Wanda. Her side of the bed had been left untouched, cold and empty as you occupied as little space as was physically possible. Her absence weighed on your heart even in your dreams, but the warmth of an additional arm slinking over your waist lightened that pain the slightest bit.
“I know you’re awake.” She whispered, her voice hoarse and gravely like it was every morning. Despite the hurt that gnawed at your belly for hours until sleep eventually took over, you sank into her embrace without hesitance, twisting around beneath the heavy blankets until your head was resting on the satin pillowcase and your eyes were locked with hers. She tried to smile, but all she managed was a weak grimace that broke your heart. She hadn’t slept a wink, bloodshot eyes and sunken in features all the evidence you needed to make that conclusion. “I’m sorry.” She admitted into the quiet of your bedroom, sniffling when the onset of tears made it difficult to keep her words even.
“I know I’ve been gone a lot recently, and I know I haven’t prioritized a lot of time for us to Wanda and Y/N, but I didn’t realize it would hurt you this much.” You whispered back, not giving her the chance to dwell on the mistakes of last night. Nothing could change what had happened, but you were willing to move on from it if she was. You missed her, you had missed her before she chose to sleep alone, but now that longing had been amplified.
“You’ve been fighting your headspace. I didn’t realize how much I would miss those little moments until you took them away, and I let myself think the worst. I’m so proud of your work, moya lyubov, I just miss us.” She leaned in to kiss your nose, laying her forehead against yours as your legs tangled together beneath the thick comforter, weeks of separation finally coming to an end.
“I miss us too.” You sighed, more than content with this simple moment, even if it lacked Natasha’s sarcastic wit. The widow was awake, both you and Wanda knew that, but you were thankful she chose to keep her mouth shut as you finally confronted each other with feelings you’d been pushing away. “Promise we’ll never do that again? I hated it.”
“Never again.” Wanda promised, “That was the worst nights sleep of my life.”
A groan interrupted your sweet moment, the redhead on your otherside finally having enough of her chosen silence. “You guys are cute, but some of us are trying to sleep.”
A giggle tumbled past your lips when Wanda rolled her eyes, red tendrils of chaos magic ambushing Natasha square in the face like the sensation of a fluffy pillow. Your laughter only amplified when the fit redhead twisted her body on top of yours, slim fingers digging into your ribcage as you wriggled and squirmed beneath her.
milaya devushka — sweet girl / moya lyubov — my love
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