#so now im re-doing everything ;-;
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Uhh retooling an older concept,, if you remember the piece this is based off no you don't ok?
This is like rambling in drawing form almost . I know it is incoherent lmaono
#this isn't much better at communicating the scene but like.#art wise i like it more#not the final version. if i ever finalize this idea.#call this...visdev...#im realizing now i probably shoulda re added the dialogue so this even slightly makes sense but um#type in krita is hard and inefficient. im not doing it#and nobody can read my handwriting lol#sorry#hlvrai#hlvrai au#hlvrai benry#hlvrai benrey#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai gordon feetman#frenrey#if you squint#frenrey if everything sucked and was bad#no reposting
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Brindleton Country Club & Spa
#i recently finished re-doing the gym!!#so now im re-doing everything ;-;#2nd up is this country club and spa#then a restaurant#thennnnn a cafe?#ts4#sims 4#the sims 4#ts4 brindleton bay#ts4 country club#ts4 spa#earth legacy
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for anyone wondering, what about Han Sungsoo? 🤔 it seems that he hasn't been the CEO of Pledis since early 2022, the role until now was filled by Lee Dahye, a former VP for Bighit. HSS has still remained in the company but was demoted to an internal director
if you're wondering how you missed this, don't worry, there was never an official announcement! 🙃 carats had to find this out more than a year after the fact by doing some digging
but now Lee Dahye is being replaced by Kim Yeon Soo, who's the original VP of Pledis before they were acquired. He's the one that appeared on SVT Club, and he has historically had a good relationship with Seventeen. the way I always thought of it is Nu'est was HSS's project group, where Kim Yeon Soo oversaw the creation of svt. after the acquisition, he was put in charge of Hybe Labels Japan. it seems now he will remain in that position while also taking over as Pledis CEO
personally, I don't know what to think of this yet. on one hand carats have always had a positive view of Kim Yeon Soo, and he's always seemed to have a close relationship with svt. and I would say I'd rather have him in charge than a hybe plant
but the timing of it is very convenient. this is pure speculation on my part but with Seungkwan's Instagram post recently and all the stuff going on with hybe, it wouldn't surprise me if hybe was bringing in Kim Yeon Soo to try and appease the members (and possibly other Pledis employees). it definitely feels like they're trying to appease /somebody/ with this move, and I can't see it being the fans since most carats didn't know about Lee Dahye being the CEO in the first place. so I can only assume it's people within Pledis they're trying to appease 🤷♀️
#i didnt post about lee dahye directly when i found out bc i still wasnt totally sure if it was true#even though the evidence seemed to be pointing that way#although im pretty sure i remember posting a vague rant about hybe when i found out lmao#its interesting bc even after the acquisition even though i hated hybe#i felt it was still better for the members to re-sign and stay in pledis#bc where else would they go that would still have the resources to support them? especially when they seemed to be doing okay under hybe#even if i didnt like the company#but now i really do hope they leave#idk where they go or if it means they cant promote for a while or if it means they cant use the svt trademark and branding anymore#but all my worst fears about hybe have been proven true and i wouldn't be upset at all if they just left#which is not something i ever thought id say#like my ideal is that pledis could break from hybe all together but i know thats unrealistic#and its so frustrating bc i know its just a company but pledis has had such a rich and unique history of not only artists#but creative directors producers and other employees#but its been changed almost to the point of unrecognizability now#even nana who was with the company for 15 years left which says a lot#even the people who were loyal to pledis despite everything have started to leave#what does that say??#anyway im home sick today so i had time to rant#might turn rb's off later but ill try leaving them on#melia.txt
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2021 re2 and re4 doodles i unearthed, 2020-2021 were the years of art block for me - i drew a lot, but not too many of my drawings felt quite right. anyways... sherry finally got that puppy (big puppy...) and parrot she always wanted! im a big fan of taking a single obscure piece of dialogue/game mechanic/inventory item etc and then drawing it
#resident evil#resident evil 2#resident evil 4#leon s kennedy#ashley graham#sherry birkin#my art#this was the time when re8 came out and it changed me it was so good#i rmb watching a let's play of re3 remake when it came out but re didn't click for me . until 8#albeit i have a soft spot for any of the games with leon. bc who doesn't#i think ive checked out all of the games besides 7 and the spinoffs. i wanted to watch 7 gameplay before i sleep as a bedtime story ^_^#(for reference re7 is arguably the scariest one)#ill continue looking in my folders for old art i dont mind sharing. probably gonna just keep these low effort/old doodles on tumblr only#i really liked doing lineless style and i like this era of my art#but i think for me. lineless suits me better to get out quick ideas on paper. and less suited for full illustrations#i think when i tried doing lineless everything back then it didnt work. and i now know when to juggle my different styles#depending on the needs of the drawing im working on. good thoughts moving forward!#also hm. this particular lineless approach with this particular brush doesn't really resonate with people it seems
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"wow you draw so clean!!" its a curse but thanks
#on one hand its a blessing on the other its a curse#me intentionally adding sketchiness to my work because its naturally really clean 😭 i like sketchiness!!!#doing more boarding has only made it “worse” im even cleaner and faster now#everything i draw is simultaneously a sketch and a finished illustration#making it really hard to figure out how i wanna make this new comm sheet 😭 whats a sketch whats an illustration#if i dont skip the sketch stage and go immediately to the full drawing i'll die#this is why my thumbs are literally little stick figures and blobs if i draw anything more solid than that itll be so clean that i hate it#anyway im in love with my art now btw :) just rendering out my sketches instead of re-lining them has been a game changer#it speaks
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every day i kick a rock and bash my head into the wall because i'll never get to go on a big space adventure and become tightly close-knit with my new found family up there <//3
#re lrb..........#i mean realistically if i was in the voltron/quintenary stars universe chances are i would probably NOT be one of the people#going on the space adventure.#i'd be roped into the plot when the aliens invade and earth almost gets destroyed. spoilers for arc 2 btw sorry#but man. child soldierism aside i wish that were me so so so bad#sadly kicks a rock when will EYE have a deep and mystical connection with a giant ancient cat :(#its not even that i want to interact with the main cast bc i dont really i just. wanna be in their position man#i think one of the reasons why voltron grabbed me so hard (among MANY) is how badly i wanted to do what the main characters did#i remember when i was first watching it while it was coming out i would CONSISTENTLY daydream about being launched into space#with a handful of other people and having to fight a war and grow up far away from home and all the suffocating stuff that came with it#and then coming back years later already solidly knowing who i am and being confident in that#so i'd actually be brave enough to be unapologetic about it. and i'd be found family with the people i went to space with also#that parts important#idk man just. i dont like saying i was abused when i was younger because i really dont think it was like that and it isnt even close to#what how people who have really been abused have had to go through#but sometimes i really do wonder. like now that im (mostly) out and able to review everything with an outside perspective#not even getting into the cult survivorism stuff this is JUST family dynamics im talking about here#bc that shit is a whole other can of worms#i think my parents were genuinely doing the best they could with the cards they were dealt but. jesus christ.#i would have given ANYTHING to be able to run away from all that. and throw magic cats into the equation? brother im GONE#anyway this tags ramble has derailed in a MAJOR way. tldr i wanted to be a paladin sooooo fuckign bad bro#like it actually makes me SICK how much i want a lion. red you are my forever girl even if only in my heart <///3#i still do want to do all that out of principle but its not as desperate now i just really love space and really want a big kitty friend#winter speaks
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something i never understood about dreamtale
how is dream SUPPOSED to win?? i mean, technically, (from what i know!) in canon, Nightmare has like 999 lives, teamed with Killer, and can only be harmed by dream himself.
Dream has 1 life, and teamed with Swap. (99.8% sure this is true)
Listen ok. I love Swap. but.. up against someone with an lv of 19 or more, im not quite sure theyre "equals" in the end?
not to mention, hes still got his own AU?? he has his own things to do???
i dont know, its just a thought. i've always seen so much about dream and nightmare fighting and whatnot right. it always seemed like there was a crazy power imbalance??
ESPECIALLY in the "fanon" versions i see with this literal 5v3 they got going 😭 (IM NO HATER!! love that one too)
#kat talks too loud#sorry if this is incoherent#im so tired right now#also sorry about the art i promised#still too tired right now 💀#someone explain to me how theyre equal#please enlighten me#PLEASE#or explain to me that its not xd#i really need to look back into re-reading dreamtale#i've basically forgotten everything#anyone wanna info dump undertale (au) information on me?#please do feel free#anyway. GOODNIGHT! im literally dead trying to stay awake Aokde
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If i don’t get an update soon on my god damn top surgery insurance negotiation im going to lose my fucking mind
#it’s been just. a fucking absurd amount of time#mostly not their fault in that my dad fucked everything up last year by dropping me from his insurance without prior notification#and i had to go through authorization + LOA negotiations all over again with my new plan once i FINALLY got said plan#and now im at that LOA part again which is almost entirely out of my hands (negotiation of coverage between the clinic and my insurance#cause the clinic is out of network and blah blah blah)#so I don’t really know what’s going on and I just have to wait indefinitely until they contact me. it’s been 3 weeks since I last messaged#them begging for an update. it’s been much longer than that since the LOA thing started#funny that this is Still preferable to if I went with the in-network location I was originally referred to. which I called in January 2024#just to be told the soonest CONSULTATION appointment would be in late January of 2026#again just for the consultation. god knows when the actual surgery would be#so. all things considered I think i chose the best option I could here but ghrgsggsgghh im still losing my mind#I hate having no timeline and no idea what’s going on and I just have to wait and pray#I can’t even start planning or anything re: money + booking a hotel + etc#beyond like. just generally saving money. which I certainly have been trying to (with moderate success)#actually pretty decent success if things keep going the way they currently are + I get my financial aid money throughout the year#does not help though that I have literally no decent point of reference for what my insurance might have me pay out of pocket#like taking a shot in the dark (+ some reddit posts that Might apply)….maybe 4-7K out of pocket?#but I don’t know man. I really do not know#im just hoping going through all this is worthwhile and I don’t waste all this time just to be given an estimate that’s not even that#different from the totally out of pocket cost#at least I have like three different ways of getting massive hotel discounts that’s a godsend#sigh#kibumblabs
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okay i give up i cant write this pjo fic percy loves sally too much
#which is good! love that he loves his mom i think that’s so realistic#maybe i just need to do a re-read but i dont ever remember him being angry/bitter about it which. i do not understand#like i don’t need to understand it i just need to be able to write it but like. okay.#in those situations there is a lot of manipulation involved from the mothers side esp when the men are introduced to the kids young#so that part was easy like gabe prob smacked percy and sally was like im sorry hon next time just try to be more careful ok#but i have no idea how this didn’t lead into him resenting sally as he got older#esp since i don’t think he knew gabe was hitting her too so it’s not like he was putting up w gabe to physically protect his mom#which would be another issue in itself bc he’s literally 12#anyway this is all being said to reiterate that i still do have so many sally jackson thoughts even though this fic crashed and burned#shoutout to sally jackson your efforts as an accomplice to your child’s abuse will forever be tossed around in my mind#also while i’m here talking about her i need to talk about that scene in the pjo show where she told him off#so many ppl were tryna “um actually 🥸☝️” the entire thing by saying book sally would do the same cos she’s fiery in canon#which is so true sally did stand up to gabe#and i have no doubt she would have told him off in the book to#o#but i also have no doubt that she would have gotten the shit beat out of her for it later#it’s a double edged sword people who get abused aren’t 100 percent meek or 100 percent strong willed all the time#its an ugly little mix of everything and depending on the day some of the traits present more strongly than the others#ok i’m done in a fr way now
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Fuck Sweden as a nation for turning the woobification of our history and culture into one of our greatest exports, pretending to be wholesome and peaceful while profiting from conflicts elsewhere. For never having the fucking spine to take any stance ever and acting high and mighty for being "neutral", all while frothing at the mouth to get a piece of that colonial cake from the cool kids table where the superpowers are seated. For recognizing Palestine's sovereignty only to then consider a withdrawal of said recognition in response to the current genocide. For allowing islamophobia to get to the point it is now and then pointing fingers at jews as a whole. For giving less of a flying fuck about swedish jews during WW2 and until now, yet patting ourselves on the back and taking credit for heroic deeds done primarily by individuals.
I wish nothing but absolute hell and misery for Ulf Kristersson, who is even more spineless about his inaction than I thought possible. Who had nothing to say about the burnings of the torah and quran, only to claim that he stands for fighting antisemitism. Who puffed up his chest and was acting so tough about the things he would do once he became prime minister, only to hold up on none of his lofty promises in true conservative fashion. Both he and his lackeys (as well as their fanclubs of raging screaming bigots) deserve nothing but hurt and hell for continuing to destroy the lives of all marginalized groups in Sweden, all while shamelessly increasing their own salaries blatantly in the open, to then have the sheer and utter gut to declare that actively supporting genocide is within our best interests.
This country's audacity is one that only became possible because we sacrificed our neighbours safety for the sake of maintaining our own, because when your most recent war was in 1809 it's apparently not possible to even try and comprehend the horrors of modern warfare. That is, besides producing the tools for it to happen elsewhere.
#the complete disdain for compassion and humanity is abhorrent#not to mention incomprehensable#im sorry im all over the place bedridden cause bad pain day which makes me even more angry#because i want to strangle everyone in riksdagen with my bare hands#and like im sorry not to be a state hater or anything (sike) but how#and i mean HOW. can one claim that we know democracy#when the people who supposedly represent the rest of us#can just go ahead and do these types of things willy nilly as they please#how can we claim to have free will when the burdens of having to earn the right to life#by working to death and being left to die if we cant adapt to the system#and being actively drained too dry to dare take risks standing up#how can that ever be freedom?#seeing everything coming out of gaza in video audio images all of it#and feeling hopeless? powerless to do anything?#how is that NOT suppression? to break people down to the point they cant find the spirit to fight?#to cast other regular people as villains so that all energy is spent falling into bigotry?#social media is hell but its also one of our greatest tools now#its like being able to zoom out and see the greater overview of the stranglehold capitalism and colonialism has on the world#im not coherent at all and my thumbs are dying now i just#but sooner or later somethings gotta give re: the way our society is built as a whole globally
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✨ someone ✨ broke their oath the other night
#this poor woman has had A Time. killed cazador got oathbreaker'd had her act 3 romance scene all in one day#i was kinda hoping it would happen b/c it fits how her story's been going#but i wasn't willing to ascend astarion to guarantee it#and i didnt want to fudge it by looking it up#but i figured freeing the spawn *might* do it since she's oath of ancients and i was Correct#and it's in character for her anyway. 'anyone sentient deserves a chance' is a *big* part of her moral beliefs#i want to see if aylin has any comments re: oathbreaking but i doubt it#i've got some half-baked ideas bouncing around my head for interactions b/wn them after loroakkan though#guess i dont have to worry about whether pretending to go along with mystic carrion will break her oath now lol#the 'gods dont give a shit about you' themes have been hitting her hard. and like. yeah#even growing up in a region not totally under lolth's thumb she was explicitly taught that the gods she knew were to be feared#and even following corellon the only choice she's been given is forget everything & literally become a different person#or (presumably) be in lolth's clutches after she dies#and seeing the clear manipulation from mystra & vlaakith & shar was doing a number on her#so something she viewed as the obvious correct choice breaking her oath was her last straw#im thinking about changing her epithet but idk what it would be so im keeping it as a tag for now#diodore#the star's shield#bg3#bg3 screenshots#bg3 spoilers#oathbreaker#bg3 oathbreaker#drow paladin#i love how they handle oathbreaker in bg3 btw. i've always thought it wasnt an inherently bad thing & i feel vindicated#image id in alt text#bg3 tav#my post#blood cw
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me entering a manic episode: man i feel better than i have in years but once this wears off im gonna feel like absolute shit
me weeks later: why do i feel like absolute shit
#YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME IM A STAR. PLEASE#im honestly so annoyed that ofmd is dropping NOW. like I WAITED FOR YOU. AND THEN AS#SOON AS I (RE)FIXATED ON GOMENS THEY START DROPPING PROMOS😭#whatever i hope my ofmd fixation rehits soon this transitional period feels rly bad.#pleeease i cant cope with everything rn without also being insane. let me INNNNN#im insane abt both of them rn but im kinda going back and forth it feels rly weird . i dunno. i hate mento illness#barking
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i’m not like other girls, my “Rest” stats are a heart rate of 110bpm and a HRV of 14 fucking milliseconds. :)
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent#vent post#cw vent#cw vent post#cw health#cw heart#i’m so stressed :) i am soooo fucking stressed and my body is Suffering because of it#i want to just lay here and stare at the ceiling but. maybe a little venting will help#sighhhh wish [N]MbD Sun were here to obsessively fret over me#he can be mean about it idc. at least i’d have someone acknowledging how bad things are for me#sometimes i wonder when the last time was that my body Wasn’t in fight or flight to some degree#have i Ever actually relaxed#hhhhhhh c-ptsd is a bitch#anyways there’s so much to vent about but i’m. doing my best to be vague. i need to be more vague about things#a lot of stuff i can’t vent about anyways. it’s too personal#so instead i’m gonna complain abt how i haven’t been able to play Genshin or Star Rail for nearly a month now#and about how slowly my back is recovering. it’s like every time i re-injure/have a flare up. it heals.. worse. slower and lesser#i dunno how it’s ever gonna get better. truly better. maybe i’ll live with this forever#if being fat is the problem which is definitely partly is. then yeah i’m fucked#all of my problems just make each other worse and i don’t know where the way out of it all is#every time i think i’ve found it i’m wrong and i just make it all worse#anyways as soon as i figure out how to strengthen my core without breaking my back. it’s over for u bitches#‘u bitches’ being uh. all of the shit that needs doing that i cannot physically fucking do right now#i miss being able to sit down. and i’m Regretting de-converting my standing desk back to sitting bc now. i cannot use my PC#which means i can’t fucking do a some of my work or play my silly little gacha games and i’m mad abt it#i’m mad abt a lot more serious things too but again. can’t talk abt it so i’m gonna focus on trivial shit instead#anyways. sorry as always to everyone i haven’t spoken with lately. and in general. i’m so drained from the Everything that i just. can’t.#it shouldn’t be this hard for me to stay in touch w ppl but. it is. guess i’ll add that onto my list of things to be stressed about#i’m so tired of everything man. and i hate being so negative and mean when im stressed & in pain. makes me feel like im becoming my father
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bro the post grad "what the hell do i do now" is so real
#like not about what to do with my life ive already had that crisis#literally just on a day to day level im like what do i do with myself??? LMAO#like i guess ill read?? i can read now?? guilt free?? my switch is charging for the first time in months??#i need to apply for jobs but i already have a lot of things going on in september in my personal life so im trying to breathe whilst i can#genuinely think im gonna get so much writing done just by virtue of wanting a routine#if my body will allow me#im sooooo fatigued omg#its weird bc i felt like i hadnt done a lot at all this last year#which i rejected anyway because i have been doing things i just. on a smaller level bc of everything#and now im like waittt i was GRIEVING#like im still grieving but it was only catching up w a friend today i realised how much lighter my head feels re the grief now#so its like besides finishing my degree everything is the same as it has been the last year but i feel like#idk i feel like i could function??#i mean we'll see.......but im optimistic#might be silly and do a tarot reading#(does not know how tarot readings work i just have my moms old decks)
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..
#re the bunny to hare meme i am now fully in Hare mode#campus parking is fuckin up today and leaving tickets on the cars of ppl with valid permits so now i get to send nasty grams#on top of everything else i have to do (handle travel bookings for ppl who refuse to do any fuckin leg work)#and bookings for ppl who've done all the prep#all while running on fumes and rage because im stuck back in the city i grew up in which im learning to love but not quick enough#and its miserable heat and suffocating haze and i feel like shit and i dont think ill be able to keep up at practice#which makes me not want to go since they'll be gearing up for the game on Saturday and ill be struggling the whole time#but if i dont go ill spend all night angry at home#im at home for lunch for a half hour to sit in the dark and try to calm down#so far no luck
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