#so now im having period...2! with cramps and etc

[cvsette]

this week was so fucking long and i straight up feel like i dont have any executive functioning left and its making me feel insane. objectively everything is fine and nothing is actually wrong its just i dont have energy to work as hard as i have to on doing basic tasks of existence. which reminds me that i have to work really really hard at keeping up with the basic tasks of existence. which makes me want to crawl into a hole and never come out ever again.

[youweremyridehome]

once again in a murderous mood due to the menstrual agonies

[thoughtsforsoob]

hiii! if its okay w you, could u do txt giving u princess treatment pls ? written imagine or texts idc! whatever u are most comfortable with. thank you~ 🩷 feel free to disregard if u aren't up to writing this i understand! <3

Giving their s/o princess treatment - TXT

A/n: thank you so much for requesting! I hope you enjoy this and that it meets your standards! This is gonna stay sfw because there was no specification so I’ll just stay on the safe side. Thank you once again. As always, requests are open!

Soobin

•His form of princess treatment is holding you close all the time and making sure you’re feed/have enough food

•One way he does this is by keeping snacks in his bag and also sneaking snacks in your bag

•You’re out driving to get to an amusement park and suddenly you start with “binnie! Im hungry”

•He points to his bag and smiles, “I packed you a little baggies with goldfish and one with cereal.”

•He sees the heart’s in your eyes and feels your appreciation

•Another way he does this is by taking you to eat/cooking for you every single time you two see each other or go out on a date

•Having a casual home date? He’s making sure to buy your favorite ramyeon and toppings to cook it for you when you arrive.

•Went for a couple day get away in Japan? He’s making sure to feed you your 3 meals a day and getting you snacks at konbini at night! (Buys you onigiri and coolish if you’re still hungry at night :)

Yeonjun

•I would say yeonjun, at least in my opinion, is within the top 2 most romanic members of the group

•This guys would do anything for you

•When I say anything, I truly mean it

•There would be days that you tell you you’re sick or your period is causing you horrible cramps, he would drop everything at work and come over to your place

•I would say his designated ‘princess treatment’ act would be always asking you what you want or need and buying you those things

•He wishes he could care for you more in a financial way but you don’t let him (slayyyy girl! Independence is so sweet)

•So, he loves to surprise you with essentials you were running low on (shampoo, fruit, toothpaste, skin care, etc…) and with luxury gifts :|

•He comes home all the time with something in his hands

•That most outrageous things he’s done is come home casually with a Birkin hand bag for you

•He’s all giggly “here you go baby! I thought it would be perfect for our trip to jeju this weekend!”

•“WAIT! We’re going to jeju this weekend? WAIT WHY DID YOU GET THIS BAG? Omg yeonjun I love you”

Beomgyu

•His definition of princess treatment is doing anything to make you smile.

•He tells you bad jokes when he sees you frowning, sitting alone in your bed

•“Hey baby…what do you call two ducks and and a cow?”

•“What :(“

•“Quackers and Milk :D”

•Smiles once you start to giggle and he’s just happy you can feel better because of him

•Anything things he does is make a fool of himself in front of anyone

•One time, you two were taking a nice walk in the evening. He saw you just kind spaced out. He knew exactly how to snap you out of it.

•He pretends to trip, shrieks and falls on the ground dramatically…embarrassingly

•“BEOMGYU are you okay???” You kneel down to help him up and he smiles

•“Do I have you attention now, cutie pie?” Smack some sense him :| dummy

•His ultimate card…doing aegyo for you in front of his members

•They all start to practically piss themselves laughing when they see beomgyu making silly faces and baby talking.

•He’s never gonna live it down but he doesn’t care because it’s gonna help lift his girls mood

Taehyun

•His definition of princess treatment is protecting you in any way he can

•What else are his muscles for (lmao his muscles are sooooo secy :(((

•He does that thing where if you’re walking on the sidewalks, he makes sure you’re on the side thats away from the road

•He wants to keep you safe from the cars :(

•He also get’s defensive when guys start looking at you 

•For example: you two went to a club once and tyun had to go to the bathroom

•He whines about leaving you alone but you push him away so he doesn’t hurt himself holding it

•A guy shorted than taehyun comes up to you and starts trying to talk to you, asking you questions about yourself (homie rlly thoughts his was a razz master 🙄)

•you’re trying to let him off easy by being short and not saying much but this dude is DETERMINED to speak to you more

•“I have a boyfriend. He’s in the bathroom right now. You don’t wanna be here when he come’s back.”

•“Doll, no the guy is gonna scare me away from talking to you.”

•He’s trying to put his hands on his hips and taehyun comes back, grabs the back of his shirt and pulls him back

•“Try making any sort of contact with my wife again and I’ll kick your ass”

•That guy runs off, scared out of his mind

•“That guy’s shirt was so fake. The material was so horrible.”

•“Wife :((“

•“Yeah, my wife. Let’s go get new drinks. On me.”

Huening Kai

•This man practically worships the ground you walk on

•So so sweet and caring

•He loves taking care of you both physically and financially

•He gives you a nice massage every day and helps you take baths and stuff

•Buys you all the skincare items you want and buys lots of masks so you two can have self care nights

•Speaking of self care nights…he does this silly little act where he pretends to be a butler for you “yes miss, I will go get you a ‘yummy drink’. Whatever you want”

•Rushes around to get you whatever you need during your self care nights so you don’t have to get up until you’re ready.

•He also loves to buy you things, kind of like yeonjun

•Takes you on surprise vacations to different places around the world

•He takes you to different cities for the weekend

•He also buys you souvenirs everywhere you goes or everywhere goes on tour

•He loves taking you to the arcade so you two can play games

•He’s the type of boyfriend that will stay at the claw machine with the prize you like until he get’s that prize for you

•He love’s you so much and your little plushie family

•He also loves late night drives especially when the weather is nice

[youremyheaven]

I need some advice. I feel like I'm dying. Going through the worst period cramps ever (never had this in the past 11 years), it literally feels like someone is stabbing my cervix, uterine walls and the pathway walls (I feel a bit shy calling it what it is...like a normal woman). Its so bad, I've never had it like this before. Has to do with the fact I was having isues, doc put me on meds, as soon as the dosage was done: red sea spilleth over.

Know any home remedies to help? Or just any other advice to deal with this? Can't go to the doc rn, she'll suggest to hold off pain meds, I am taking over the counter anti-inflammatory stuff..yk the one for fevers and other pains. Its not working. Its been so debilitating...I can't sleep, sit, breathe, do anything...yk the type of pain that makes you bend and make your mouth water...idk if that happens to anyone else but yeah....

OMGGG 😩😨😨😓that sounds soooo rough, I hope you're feeling better now???

I have taken meftal spas for cramps since I was maybe 16-17 years old. Idk if that's available in other parts of the world??? but its widely available in India and its specifically for period cramp induced pain<333 I'm not a doctor so pls don't take any medication without exercising caution first!!! you may not react well to it or it may have adverse effects bc of the medication you're already taking ://// 😩😩

on that note, practicing yin yoga (which focuses on releasing stress from the hip area/psoas muscles) has greatly changed my reproductive system as a whole tbh, my sex drive changed, my relationship with my body changed (like even the way i walk changed bc my hips loosened up, which meant i walked more "freely" dont tell me its woowoo,, yk can just tell when someone's body is very "frozen" or "stiff" looking) and yesss my menstrual cycle was immensely affected by it.

i used to have HORRIBLE cramps, irregular cycles, HEAVY bleeding etc in my mid-late teens (this was because of trauma + eating disorder, in case u wanted to know) and now? my period is 3 days long, light bleeding, little to no pain and i attribute alllll of that to yoga<3

now i specifically like to do certain mudras and asanas (poses) which are supposed to help the female body specifically

and while this can help u when u are on your period, i suggest making it part of your lifestyle and living according to your monthly cycle's phases so that you can experience smoother periods. i dont think its realistic to do them if you're experiencing immense pain 😭

Legs-Up-The-Wall Pose (Viparita Karani)

This pose is known for increasing blood flow to the pelvic region which helps enhance the health of your reproductive organs.

2. Baddha konasana aka butterfly pose

helps the uterus<333

3. balasana or child's pose

tbh this might actually help even if ur ON your period, lying down like this is soooo soothing and comforting. ppl overcomplicate yoga, when the reality is that holding your body in certain poses can emotionally feel very comforting/freeing/nourishing etc but then again im only familiar with yin yoga/restorative yoga (there are manyyyy different types of yoga)

4. happy baby pose

as the name suggests this is how babies lay down and they seem happy for no reason,, i remember the first time i consciously did this pose and i was like???? this is yoga??? bc i would randomly do poses like these for no reason in bed (im sure we all do when we're bored) and if i intentionally do it?? its actually good for me??

again this pose helps with the hip muscles!!! the female body is always preparing for childbirth. regardless of whether or not you want to be a mom, taking care of your womb health and reproductive well being is CRUCIAL bc whether we like it or not we were designed this way and dont think of it as "preparing my body to bear children" just think of it as "preparing my body to be at its best" (the bearing kids is just a bonus) .. the state of your womb affects your whole being!!! its not a joke!!!

now here's some mudras:

yoni mudra

yoni means womb and as u can see, this pose imitates the 🫣🫣 its a highly beneficial mudra for women and helps with overall pelvic health. you can do it sitting cross legged. i like to chant mantras and do this pose,, it kicks in quicker or smthng idk 😳but it feels ✨

2. prana mudra

do this mudra on both hands btw!!

prana means life force

this mudra helps with overall immunity and pain management!!!

3. prithvi mudra

prithvi means earth and this mudra helps balance the earth element in your energetic system which means its gives you strength, resilience and physical energy (in case u feel tired, fatigued etc for no reason) as those are the qualities of the earth

now for some pranayamas

Bhramari/ honeybee buzzing

this is my fav bc its so simple and easy to do!! and who doesn't want to buzz like a bee??? 🥰😍

2. anulom vilom

this is also a very simple pranayam for beginners

the whole idea is to get your body into a state of relaxation so that you dont operate from a place of stress or anxiety. you can just feel peaceful all the time. imagine being that unbothered!!

sorry for going off on a tangent (me with every post lmao) these are some beginner friendly yoga asanas/mudras/pranayamas (all of which are diff components of yoga) that u can try when u feel comfortable!!

NOW about alleviating pain ASAP:

hot water bag

put that thing on ur stomach and lie down (after taking medicine) my mom used to do this all the time and it helped her a lot

2. roobois tea

i drink roobois tea almost everyday hehe but its said to help alleviate menstrual cramps 🤔and lower blood pressure,,

3. chamomile tea

is also said to help with period pain :o

4. look into your diet, sleep, overall lifestyle

you may not have had pain of this sort before but babe NOW UR A WOMAN ✨and u have to look at your lifestyle and ensure that its something that helps a woman's body feel rested and calm

being stressed all the time can take a physical toll on you and lead to all kinds of diseases later in life!! its in your best interest to RELAX

idk how much this helped 😭😭the most convenient thing to do would be to take medicine but u said u can't so :((( hot water bag + roobois tea???

ALSOOOO always wear socks during your period and keep your feet covered. i have sensitive feet so i wear socks at home often (this is uncommon in india, where we have a tropical climate lmao) BUT KEEP THOSE FEET COVERED,, there's some kind of science behind it but i dont remember it lmao,, all i know is that it makes me bleed less<333 and have more cozy periods and sleep better<33

ALSOOOO,, this could be an old wives tale but it worked for me (but im also delusional😍) eating dark chocolate and/or having a spoon of oil on day 1 of your period makes your period go smoothly?? 😭😭😭there's no harm in trying hehe

ALSOOO and ive never tried this but heating up like a tablespoon of oil and applying it to the bellybutton area 😳😳can help alleviate period pain 😳😳

lastly and most importantly, im just a girlblogger and NOT A MEDICAL EXPERT so pls dont put urself in an adverse position bc of something i said 😭😭😭

love always,

heaven ✨

[nozoroomie]

my ps4 controller has shat the bed. While I don't really play any games on my ps4 anymore, it's still great for watching movies.

But finding a new controller or even a refurbished controller for this thing has been so difficult. I try not to shop on Amazon unless I have to (c'mon, we all know why) but even the small gaming shops in my city don't really have anything.

Maybe it's just cheaper for me to buy a bluray and dvd player??

Anyway, more fun life updates under the cut!

We'll start with my health. It's been a while since I've posted about it. In that post I made in April, I made a joke about "probably have to wait until 200 days of bleeding until I actually see a specialist."

It literally did take that long. I was bleeding from late January (around the 19th-22nd area,I'd have to go check my calendar but im typing this in bed and lazy.) until August 9th. There were two very brief breaks of nothing in April and June, but the grand total of days I bled and bled heavily was roughly 180 days. Crazy right? and I met MANY people with uterus' in this time who have had it worse.

I got to go to a specialist on August 6th and then when they tried to do an examination, they couldn't. There's a number of reasons why what happened happened but to put a long story short- my hormones are insane and likely not distributed evenly around my junk, so insertion causes immense pain and they just couldn't do a thing without putting me under anesthesia. Which they did! on August 9th I had a procedure to give me a biopsy, a polypectomy, and then there was one other thing they did -I believe it may have been called a DNC but honestly, they told me everything that happened while I was still under the affects of anesthetic so I have no idea the exact term or how the process goes- but since August 9th, I haven't had heavy bleeding. There's been some minute bleeding that all my recovery paperwork says its normal, but god. The menstrual cramps. The polyps forming and bursting. It's been painful.

The exact diagnosis of my biopsy and examination happens next Wednesday, and there's a few ways it could go over all, but the thing is I KNOW they're going to push the IUD or some other form of Birth control on me because that's what they did the first time I met and had a consultation with them. and with the way my uterus is and the horror stories I've heard about the pain of them and how they're -at most- 5 years of period relief... I'm saying nope. If I have to do birth control temporarily, I'm going towards the arm implant if it's going to be as effective as an IUD. If not? I'm going down the partial hysterectomy route and I'll try to get referred to an OBGYN that will respect that. But things I also had to do for my health while I was just slowly bleeding out and becoming more anemic by the day:

two iron infusions. On the second one they had to send me to the hospital to get an IV put in and then I had to travel across the city to the clinic I got my iron infusions don't at. Most stressful 2 days I've had to be quite honest. They poked me with different needles 11 times until someone finally got the iv in properly.

One of my ribs shifted just slightly out of place and I had to go to a chiropractor. Now I take stretching way more seriously. Folks. if you're not active, still make sure you stretch and you're hydrated. It's fucked.

Chronic fatigue and uterus cramping. if I wasn't at work or doing necessary chores (litter box, walking the dog, showering, laundry, etc.) I was laying down and doing my best not to take too any pain killers.

24/7 bloating. full disclosure- I 'm Fat. before all of this, I was comfortably between 175 to 185 pounds (and I didn't mind! I was born fat, I've grown up fat, it's not something I've ever cared about.) Carry most of it in my stomach and chest. At 5"1 ish, it makes me look pretty chunky. Imagine blowing up around 20 pounds more. at my worst, I was around 215 pounds. My body HURT. I felt like I was a bubble that could pop. I bought work shorts that fit me perfectly at around 185 pounds and the bloating got so bad, the button for the shorts just popped off while I was at work. It was so embarrassing.

Anddd that's the mega long health update.Right now I'm still recovering from my procedure. I have about a week and a half until I get have a bubble bath again and I do see the OBGYN on Sept 4th to find out just what my options are. Some other misc things to tie the post up into a more positive update:

Blue's reactivity is getting better! We haven't met many new dogs but he's getting so much better at ignoring every dog we pass. We do still have to cross the street, but he's more inclined to look to me than to stare down the other dog so that's always great.

Menma turned 12 and she's still on that vet prescribed diet. It's great for her kidneys but bad for hairballs. We're working on trying to get her interested in some hairball relief stuff but the old lady is picky with her food and sometimes she'll touch it, most days she'll turn her nose to it. And work is. Work. But you know how that all is. Capitalism is a shitty thing and I hope we see something better sooner rather than later.

That's about it! Thanks for reading if you got this far. It's storming and I gotta get Blue out to at least try to pee but knowing him, he's gunna protest so we'll see how it works out.

[aeaeaexxzd]

I want to lower my T dose because I'm sick of having acne, it's not even that bad (also hairline paranoia even thought its not even bad yet and im 2 years in) and I use a face wash that's pretty good but I'm still just tired of it like I never got acne during my first puberty god bless so why do I have to have it now. Anyways I was at a 0.5 dose which is pretty regular and now I'm lowering very gradually and slowly at a 0.4 and later I will get to 0.3,5 etc. The thing is I can already feel cramps and I'm so scared my period might come back ugh that would suck. But I stopped having my period like 4months in once I started and at that time I was microdosing at 0.2,5 so like why would it come back just bc I'm lowering a tiny tiny bit. Anyways I'll see what happens and might go to the ftm subreddit to see if anyone has tips or knowledge

[mo0dy-succubus]

I'm still working on request so please bare with me, the fact that I have been getting alot of requests while working on other stories is wild I'm getting there pls I just need to focus before people send to much

Anyway to save my mental health from shattering from request and burning myself out I want to do something

Things abt me that literally Noone asked for:

1. I am short for my height like really really REALLY short(guess me height and you will get something from me idk I refuse to pay tho)

2. Eating gluten makes my stomach hurt I don't have celiac disease or wheat allergy, just gluten sensitive which is sad bc I love intalian food

3. I have 3 sisters and no brothers

4. One of them (besides me) likes kpop too

5. I won a math trophy, despite sucking ass at math,like VERY BADLY

6. I like cats

7. I have some very unpopular opinions on kpop that might get me canceled (anyone interested in hearing them???? 👀)

8. I like anime!

9. I cosplay and I have always been interested in the hobby (AAHHHH MY COSPLAY IS BAD AFFFF)(guess who I cosplay if you can ill drop hints if you want)

10. I'm a big flirt

11. Despite being one I catch feelings to fast

12. I also lose feelings too fast it's not you I swear it's me

13. Apparently I must have been so fruity that my mom and sister knew I was gay even before I came out (I came out as gay in 4th grade ik ik very young) look idk what gay ass things I did in my childhood for her to expect that 😭😭😭

14. I love stuffed animals.

15. I own 2 squishmallows but I want more.

16.❤🌌 I LOVE SPACE AND LEARNING ABT IT🌌❤

17. I watch educational videos for fun and entertainment

18. I also go to sleep with educational videos on(Ted ed, minuteearth,kurzgesagt etc)

19. I'm interested abt black holes

20. TMI, TMI,TMIIIII, when I was in middle school I was jealous of my sister who got her period before me (I'm the 2nd oldest)

21. I jinxed myself and got my first ever period when I was in 7th grade (funny story)

22. when I start my period the first day of it is utter HELL the cramps awesome shitty, but the 2nd day till I end I have nothing at all, I was blessed to not have period cramps😌😌😌

(Ok enough tmi...)

23. Did gymnastics

24. Since I did gymnastics I have very muscular arms and legs.

25. I'm losing it tho in my arms haha but my legs are thick compared to how I look and I feel like it looks weird

26. I'm a Capricorn I'm not into astrology bc idk much abt it lolllll

27. I had long hair before I cut it to my shoulders (my mom thinks I have long hair do to native Americans genes)

28. I love video games

29. I love legend of Zelda and animal crossing<3

30. I'm a little kid at heart if you can't tell

31. I like dancing!

32. Am I good at it? No absolutely not.

33. Dream pet is a hedgehog

34. Nobody knows how to say my middle name

35. For the longest time I never knew how to spell my middle name

36. I suck at holding pencils, my hand writing is crappy now bc my mom gave up on trying to teach me bc I apparently was THAT BAD

37. im single 🥲🥲🥲

28. SOME MEN, NOT ALL, scare me to death

39. I like to tell ppl my cousin is famous

40. (Last one for tonight!!!) I like graphic novels

This was fun I was wondering if I should do another soon 🤔🤔🤔

Well in the mean time I'm gonna try to finish these requests all at once wish me luck and pray I don't die 🤚😔

[gettingvetted]

I posted 1,814 times in 2021

69 posts created (4%)

1745 posts reblogged (96%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 25.3 posts.

I added 60 tags in 2021

#anonymous - 18 posts

#personal log - 8 posts

#horseback riding - 6 posts

#pet nutrition - 5 posts

#horse - 5 posts

#chestnut mare - 5 posts

#chestnut horse - 4 posts

#my pets - 3 posts

#my horse - 3 posts

#laugh rule - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 122 characters

#i've gone hiking in colorado in 95f and i'm out of shape so it was rough but i stayed really well hydrated and it was fine

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

What you’re saying is, it ain’t your first rodeo?

89 notes • Posted 2021-01-25 17:24:18 GMT

#4

In case y'all needed some more reasons to keep your cats indoors, in the past week I have treated:

1. A cat that was hit by a car and had to have its eye out because there was road rash on its literal cornea

2. A cat that was picked up and shaken by the neighbor's dog and now can't feel its rear legs and is spinning in circles in the cage meowing likely from head and spinal trauma

3. A 3 year old cat that now has trash kidneys because it got into some sort of renal toxin

4. A cat that has an absolutely shattered front leg due to a well-placed (poorly placed?) BB pellet

5. This is being posted all over the local groups where I went to vet school.

238 notes • Posted 2021-02-09 00:15:48 GMT

#3

Legit question: If we still have to wear masks and isolate from other humans what's the point of the vaccine? If I can still get/spread Covid it sounds pretty much useless considering the 98%+ survival rate. Not to mention there's no long term health testing data and multiple reports of severe aches/pains, 100+ degree fevers, blood clots, horrible period cramps, etc. I get the flu vax every year and I've NEVER had to take a day off of work because of pain so severe I couldn't move my body.

320 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 02:18:01 GMT

#2

i just came up with the best idea for a designer dog. i will mix a poodle... with a poodle. i shall call it the poodoodle (or doodlepoo?) and market it as the best family- and allergy-friendly dog and sell the puppies for $10,000 each. rate my amazing original idea out of 10

12/10 best idea

588 notes • Posted 2021-04-21 02:17:34 GMT

#1

Im in a bit of a pickle. My mom wants to switch our dogs from Hills to a homemade diet. Ive tried talking her out of it but that hasnt gone anywhere. I think ive at least convinced her to call our vets for advice. Are there any like pet nutritionists who could at least attempt to formulate a balanced diet so she doesnt screw it up.

Yes, there are board-certified veterinary nutritionists that can help with formulation of a home-cooked diet, often at your closest vet school, although some are offering telemedicine at the moment - ask your regular vet for a referral. balanceit.com is written by veterinary nutritionists and has recipes and supplements for home-cooked foods and is trusted by a lot of veterinarians with clients that want to home-cook pet diets.

I will say that home-cooking a diet is far more expensive and time-consuming than using kibble and there is a demonstrated STRONG tendency that only something like 10% of people who start out creating a balanced home-cooked diet with consultation from a veterinary nutritionist will continue to make that same diet over time. They either “drift”, which means that they select a substitute for an ingredient due to convenience or cost, or go back to using kibble. I’d have to look up the study for exact numbers. Home cooked diets are also implicated in the FDA’s investigation into diet-related heart failure. 

Best of luck!

703 notes • Posted 2021-05-24 14:38:35 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[barnesbabee]

Tips for people with periods

Before anything starts, I'd just like to say, yes, I do write many texts about women's bodies, and bodies overall, but a lot of times schools don't offer proper information and a lot of people aren't comfortable talking to their peers or parents about these kinds of things, and although I'm not a health professional, I've been having periods for 17 years so I feel like I'm qualified lol.

That being said

IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTION FEEL FREE TO SEND AN ANON ASK I WILL TRY MY BEST TO HELP YOU

Now onto the tips!

1. Find what suits you best, what everyone uses might not be what you feel most comfortable in. There are many choices for sanitary products nowadays, from pads, to period cups, to tampons, etc... Give it all a try and decide what's best for you, I like tampons but I have friends who feel uncomfortable with them. Try everything and only then decide what's more comfortable for you, you're not any less cooler than your friends for not feeling comfortable in tampons.

2. Buy period pants/shorts and period underwear. What are those? It's shit I just made up but it's VERY useful. I suggest you buy (or find around the house) a pair of cheap pants that are a little larger on you. During your period you get bloated and your whole lower area gets very sensitive, you don't want any tight pants or tight pajama waistbands tight around you. You also don't want your cute pajamas stained all the time, so I suggest you have a selected pair of pants for that time of the month! The underwear is basically the same thing, buy some large, cheap underwear to wear during your period, that way nothing will be tight and you wont have your pad suffocating your vagina due to tight underwear. You also wont ruin your cute friday night underwear if you have designated period panties :)

3. I hate pads, but absolutely, 100%, DO NOT WEAR TAMPONS TO SLEEP. Tampons are designed to be in your body only for a short amount of time, if you wear them to sleep it can cause you to have a TSS (toxic shock syndrome, if you don't know what it is I advise you research about it!!) because it absorbs the blood and then keeps it inside you and it's just overall yucky so don't do it

4. This is an obvious one, but always keep pads and tampons in your bag/backpack/fashionable fannypack because even if you're not on your period it can be useful to someone else

5. drink lots of water!!!

6. if you're having really bad cramps use a hot water bag or hot water bottle or whatever the fuck they're called, fill it with hot water and place it on the place you have cramps, in my experience, it helps A LOT

7. always carry pills in your bag to help with cramps. You never know when cramps might hit and you can't just lay down with a nice cup of tea during work or in the middle of a class, so carry those around so you have a backup plan if it hits you hard

8. if possible, take the pill. Inform yourself about the pill, cause in my country they give it for free, and of course, you have to go to the doctor so he tells you which one is more suitable for you, but not only does it help with cramps, it also stabilizes your period (so if it comes in random times of the month, if your period is very irregular it will help make him regular), it helps reduce the blood flow during your period, and it helps reduce the amount of days you have your period for, so consider it!

I hope any of this has been helpful and again, if anyone needs help, Im here!!

[kinkymagnus]

Ur VP here! So I just got my period and I am NOT coping so... What was Magnus & Alec's reaction the first time Magnus had his period whilst being with Alec? (Ik Magnus probably has some magical contraception he takes but maybe he has to have one every 3 months like the pill?? And Ik that T usually stops periods but DAMNIT I AM S A D & DISPHORIC)

literally same actually wow 

hm i always was kind of like “uhhh warlocks can’t have kids so magnus doesn’t have to worry about getting pregnant (unless i’m specifically writing an au about that but i usually go alpha/omega with that kind of thing oops i have no idea why)” but i mean, he could still easily be on T or some sort of magical contraceptive specifically to stop his period and stuff (i know someone who does that, actually, but there are long term health problems i think?) so

but it’s very possible he would still get his period, too, and since a lot of my trans magnus headcanons are Projecting(TM) let’s say that’s a thing

okay so i’ve actually thought about this before. not so much about alec’s first reaction, but about magnus during his period. (i actually briefly had a trans malec post in my drafts where both of them were trans and i stand by the mentioned headcanon that they’re tampon/pad user solidarity--specifically, magnus using tampons and alec pads. but also i scrapped that post for Reasons. but still.) 

but really. alec just being a supportive af boyfriend. he learns pretty quickly what magnus needs/wants (i have no idea if a massage would help or not because i’ve never gotten one but i’ve always FELT like that would help a lot and what the hell, alec would LOVE giving magnus massages anyway)

so he brings him like chocolate or whatever food he might be craving, often greasy kinda trash food he normally probably wouldn’t touch. he holds him when he wants to just sort of curl up and cry because the cramps hurt and yes he has a magical heat pad that alec is happy to press to his abdomen for him, yes he has painkillers and usually a potion--although it’s not always brewed, magnus is so busy sometimes he loses track and it sneaks up on him--but it still hurts damn it and he hates this and he feels kind of sick and gross but alec is right there for him when he needs him.

and like, sometimes he wakes up bleeding or begins bleeding at a bad time and he can conjure up what he needs (LUCKY) but alec’s still there to help him out, covering for him when he needs to suddenly rush off, or like--yeah, magnus can conjure up new clothes but alec is happy to offer his own if needed. because boyfriends sharing their clothes is cute.

dysphoria is a thing too, of course. it just reminds him of what he is and how wrong he feels, reminds him of how he feels trapped in the wrong body sometimes--and sure some people like to have sex on their periods but not magnus because 1. nothing is coming near this vagina let alone inside it except a tampon right now, 2. cramps don’t make sexy times, 3. most importantly... normally, his bottom dysphoria isn’t that strong. he can tell himself that his parts are his, they’re not wrong or lady parts or gross or whatever else he sometimes feels, they’re just a part of him and his body isn’t undesirable or wrong, it’s okay to feel good and enjoy his clit being touched and things inside him, it’s okay to like who he is and what’s between his legs. but times like this it just feels like pain and gross feelings, there’s all these gross feelings around pregnancy even though he knows it isn’t possible for him, which is a whole other tangle of complicated emotions, and like. femininity, how this is a “female” thing, and it makes him feel all disconnected and wrong. 

it just makes him so aware of all the things that feel wrong. like the achy chest, if he doesn’t have top surgery or something, and just. all of it.

not to mention any jokes involving “time of the month” and shit, and the mood swings make him feel worse, but he tries way too hard to not be cranky or touchy because he hates “time of the month” jokes and anything to distance himself from these stereotypes, even though he knows that’s kind of not great. so he overcompensates, gets if anything more accommodating and nice and smiling through the pain. like honestly he normally just doesn’t even act different, he just smiles through the pain even when it hurts really fucking badly.

so i imagine that magnus doesn’t even tell alec! and it doesn’t quite occur to him at first, but look. alec “best big brother ever” lightwood grew up with a sister and you can’t tell me he wouldn’t be perfectly willing to brush aside any awkwardness he might feel to ask her what she needs, get supplies, help her through it, etc. he’s the guy perfectly fine with going to the store to buy tampons and pads and shit by himself with no shame. he’s pretty aware of the nasty parts, you know?

and when he finds out magnus is trans and all implications thereof, it doesn’t take long for him to figure out that magnus probably has periods. so he asks about it, in that blunt way of his, and asks when it is and if magnus needs anything--because he’s always happy to spoil magnus--or if he’s got it covered and would prefer to deal with it alone, or if it’s just straight-up not a problem.

and magnus kind of. freezes. because honestly not that many partners--or at least, long term romantic partners--actually wanted to deal with the other sides of being trans. gross shit like periods. because yes, periods are gross as hell

but he smiles and waves it away, right, he’s just like, oh, it’s fine, alexander. but alec is like. hm. because he knows what magnus does with shit like this. but he waits. and magnus, sure enough, gets his period and feels really shitty but he smiles through it, tries to act normal, tries to act even more accommodating than usual because he can’t be a burden, it’s fine, it’s just cramps, every AFAB person in the world deals with this every month and keeps going to work and school and shit, he can deal with it too without inconveniencing his boyfriend.

but alec catches on, perhaps he finds blood somewhere (fgfgh or alternate idea, he finds blood on magnus’s sheets or clothes, and freaks out like “oh no are you hurt” and magnus has to be like it’s just my period it’s fine alexander! and alec is like “...oh. well can i help?”) or he just notices magnus acting differently. 

and eventually, probably gradually and slowly, alec gets magnus to come around? to let alec take care of him, to stop acting like he’s perfect and the pain is just nothing. and magnus is having a hard time just letting himself not be perfect, and the first time he snaps at alec because he’s feeling cranky and alec might be hovering just a little too much, he freaks out a little like, apologizing and being like im sorry im just cranky but that’s not an excuse i’m gonna go um shower and not be a burden bye :) and alec is like wait no

but like overall just??? alec taking care of magnus tbh and helping him? they communicate and magnus being like “i need space” or “i need comfort” and alec is always happy to get him food or supplies or whatever because he’s The Best Boyfriend. and an overall good dude.

also if we make it angsty as fuck. or even worse anyway. when magnus temporarily loses his magic it’s different because--he can’t just conjure up new clothes or supplies, he can’t make his potion or magic heat pad, he’s just got mundane shit and alec is always happy to help but he feels horrible, too, because he’s convinced it’s his fault magnus is in even more pain. but there’s this sort of sad happiness to it, too, because yes magnus is in a lot of fucking pain right now and he’s bleeding and he feels grosser and worse than usual and the dysphoria is eating him alive. it’s so much worse and suddenly he’s relying on alec even more and partly he loves it because it feels so good to have alec taking care of him and being supportive but mostly he kind of hates it just because he feels so helpless and vulnerable. and yes it’s nice to have alec taking care of him by bringing him medicine and heat pads, letting him wear his hoodie, etc. 

or alternatively, just magnus isn’t supposed to use his magic for a while so alec helps him out and it’s all fluffy, or even just a mundane au. stILL

[thewritingstar]

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE. 

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go. 

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic 

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27. 

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song 

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes 

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel 

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally 

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring. 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops. 

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console 

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot. 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others. 

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum 

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

[blackcoffeeandblankpagess]

Some life things

Haven’t checked in in depth in awhile so here ya have it

Today is my last day of work! Im so grateful for the opportunities that these last 10 weeks have presented and my experience has really opened my eyes to what I do and do not want in a career (re: I may go insane if I ever have to work in a cubicle for any extended period of time, I realize being able to say that is coming from a place of privilege and considering I’m still in school I don’t feel the pressure of NEEDING a job but I really firmly believe in trying my best to pursue something that lights me up every day and being stuffed inside in a cramped space does not seem very conducive to that)

I’m flying back home for 10 days on saturday and then classes start for the fall semester in less than 2 weeks (whaaaaat) where does the time go!

So stoked to see my family and close friends, have lots of little magical moments lined up for my time back home and just feeling so content about it

This year I’m living with my best friend at school and we have a NICE kitchen and open space and it’s going to be the best year yet I’ve decided

Yesterday as I was leaving the gym I had the thought that I should consider cancelling my membership for the school year and then I was like WOW progress- I’m a member at the Y since they have a pool which I like for cross training but the Y is expensive and now that I’m back to running I’m really only using the gym once a week (plus I haven’t been swimming because my ankle isn’t digging that) so really it doesn’t necessarily make a ton of sense from a financial perspective, I may cancel that and try to use that 1 day per week to experiment with different things like at home workouts or visiting my favorite yoga studio, etc. The point is that it’s encouraging for me to realize my brain can recognize the fact that, huh, while keeping my membership offers me that safety net of having a gym I can hit up whenever, it makes more sense logically to let that go at the moment...we shall see

Really, really, REALLY, really, working on trying to be less of an insane control freak and just accept things as they are and recognize that it will all work out in the end, I was saying to laura on our trail run last weekend that I like running on trails because it challenges that Type A need to have every aspect of an event dialed in- for instance we had planned on a 17 mile loop but spent 2.5 miles just trying to find the start of the trail (which is common when it comes to trail running because sh*t gets confusing real quick) but I felt totally fine with it...life is a whole heck of a lot easier when you can just go with the flow

^ALSO been thinking about how time (of day) is irrelevant which has helped me with that easy going approach a bit as well, for instance who fucking cares if I eat dinner at 5pm or 9pm it doesn’t matter! Life will go on! Listen to your body, see where the day takes you, there are bigger fish to fry!

Have been trying different foods lately and while that’s good in overcoming ED behaviors and thoughts I’m realizing I really do feel my best when I fuel up on mostly plants, whole foods, etc. and I love that my body genuinely craves that nourishment and it feels good

It’s really just crazy to see how different seasons of life play out. This spring I was legitimately in the darkest space (mentally) that I have ever been in my entire life and it was terrifying. The past few weeks, months, have brought about immense changes in mindset and happiness and I’m eternally grateful for that everyday feeling of contentment.

[werevulvi]

Time for a few updates, I think. The biggest news are: I just got my period back a few days ago! On the 28th of November. It's still ongoing. It's been a light flow all along, but for the first 3-4 days I had really bad cramps. Like they were REALLY bad. I mean double-folding and literally screaming, kind of bad. So I was popping painkillers pretty much constantly just to cope with it. Now those cramps are still happening but much milder, so don't need to take painkillers anymore.

I think the reason I got so bad cramps, which has never happened before, is because I likely still have high levels of testosterone and/or my reproductive system is still a bit roughed up by the testo and needs more time to come around. So I don’t worry about it. Just my body getting a rude awakening from its hibernation on testo.

I've not gotten my hormone levels checked again, but I'm pretty sure they're all over the fucking place since about a week before I got my period. I've been extra sad, upset, easily offended, hyper-sensitive, even more easily angered than usually. Physically I can't regulate my body temperature at all. I'm always either too cold or over-heating and it fluctuates between those two states constantly.

And I think this roller-coaster reaction is because my estrogen is storming within me due to the period thing, and fluctuating really a lot between high and low levels. I've not taken my local estrogen pills for my vaginal atrophy since I got my period back and it seems I may not need it anymore, but I'm unsure cause I still had atrophy issues up until getting my period.

I went back on the testo-blockers again. I got very dysphoric about my changes from the testo again. It actually got me to the brink of being suicidal even, so I thought going back on the blockers might be a good idea. I’ll try to not get into an on and off relationship with them.

I wouldn't say I'm truly suicidal, but damn I do wish I was dead, quite a lot. It's just sooo hard to go through with all this sadness,  pain, grief and medically induced dysphoria that it's just breaking me. And the hormonal mess most certainly isn't helping my mood. Past 2 days have been a little better, but just... holy shit, the pain of detransitioning is nearly killing me. I just feel so sad about my body, what I've done to it. I do love my body, and I want the very best for it. I never get any urges to self harm, but I struggle to comfort and care for myself and staying positive.

I feel a terrible disconnect and aversion to the changes. But it's just sadness and a calm frustration like just not knowing what to do, there's no hate or anger. Been trying to just play with the thought of possibly one day in any future get my beard lasered off, cause that thought still scares me. I'm terrified I'd regret it even though it makes me miserable to have and deal with it. So I'm definitely holding off on that and won't do anything drastic in that direction anytime soon. I know that how I feel about my facial hair has been fluctuating really a lot and that I need to give it lots more time to think about what I should do with it, so that I can come to a wise decision. I'll keep shaving in the meantime, but it doesn't feel like a long-term solution.

I've also been researching breast reconstruction a bit more as well. Looked into the two different methods (implants vs flap), gone through my concerns and questions a bit more in depth, looked at pictures, read some accounts from women who've been through that, etc. There's still a lot I can't possibly know before a consultation with a surgeon about it though, cause of my chest being it’s own unique case, kinda. And I think my biggest question in all of that is my nipples. Because they've been relocated and I've heard that means they can't be relocated again and if they might end up in a weird position after surgery due to their current location, I really don't know what could be done about that. But then having a little wonky looking nipples wouldn’t be the worst thing either.

But an idea hit me, that if it could be a viable option for me, I might actually just ditch my nipples for reconstructed ones. Because of the kinda bad state of my nipples, I think reconstructed ones would likely be better on all points. They got kinda butchered by my top surgery and the drawn-out healing process after it, and I don't really feel emotionally attached to them. They have almost no sensation, are permanently discoloured, are uneven in both size and shape, are very scarred, etc.

I dunno, I don't think they look really terrible or anything, and I mostly just shrug about them. So ultimately it doesn't really matter to me if I'd keep them or get new ones. I know this is something I can only find the answer/solution to by actually talking to a surgeon. I'm just speculating, researching, reflecting and fantasising until then as a way to mentally prepare myself for pretty much anything. So that I’ll know what decisions to make on that day. 

But damn, I'm really looking forward to having breasts again! That thought and mental picture just fills me with so much ease and awe. I don't care if they'd be scarred or a little weird-looking. That would just give them some character. What I can tell from pics I've seen, I'd be happy with a lot of very different results. I’m very far from a perfectionist, I’m a realist with a vivid imagination. I keep an open mind, and heart, to it. Then we’ll see what I’ll end up with. And in case I need to clarify: how I feel about my chest since detransition has not been fluctuating at all. If anything I just feel increasingly worse about its current state. And the more I look into those feelings and the surgery info available, the more certain I get that that's the right route for me. So I feel increasingly more confident about that, the more I learn and the better I come to understand it.

[appleatcha]

Personal health talk below lol

Husband says I need to see a doctor about my health concerns (well he's been saying it for years now). Since the great abdominal mystery of spring 2022 (lower left abdominal pain that became so intense i couldn't walk more than a few feet, pick up my son, etc that lasted about a month) it seems my hormones have been turned up to full blast.

Ovulating? Actual tears over not having another baby. PMS now begins 2 weeks before my period, and the symptoms are crazy intense. Before, my only pms symptoms were general grumpiness a few days before, bad cramping on my first day of period and typically a migraine. Now I'm fucking pissy, lower back pain from hell, boobs swelling 3 cup sizes bigger and fucking ACHE. My period is also heavier. My period ended yesterday and im still a sobbing pissy mess.

Every month since like may I swear I'm pregnant because the symptoms are that bad, but my period is still regular. And now this month the abdominal pain came back a bit while I was on my period. I've been sobbing every day for the past 2 weeks. I haven't been this pissy and sad and depressed since I was in the mental health crisis era of my life.

I know I should maybe see a doctor but yaknow my mom always said that 1) whatever problem I'm reporting isn't real or 2) if it IS, I'm extremely over-exaggerating the issue and I always second guess myself. I mean, the last time I went to the doctor I ended up in the hospital a la "hey this is your doctor calling from my personal cell phone because I'm not sure this bloodwork report i just got is right because if it is you're on death's door my friend. I've already called the hospital and they're saving an ER room for you as long as you get there in the next hour".

(I'm not joking, the ER held a room for me because my blood work was so bad I should've been dying. I was 100 lbs, high blood pressure, and had had 3 boughts of what I had thought was angina, though i never told the doc or hospital that lol. Potassium critically low. They ran more blood work at the hospital and potassium was now showing dangerously high, but not critical anymore so they just sent me home and when the doc office opened up again they ran my blood a third time and it was close to normal. Thank God for homeostasis!)

But maybe i AM just making it all up for attention? Or maybe I just love the suffering. Always a masochist at heart I suppose.

[nursabrinahassan]

after moooonnthsss...

HELLO TUMBLRINAS!

This gonna be a very super long post! Cus ive not been updating for so many months!

Its been so long. So so so long since last I updated my Tumblr!

Pardon me, I’ve been so busy in life and I couldn’t find a single second to update my blog!

So many things happened for that last few months! Wait.. my last proper update is in the February!

And that’s when Ozil is still 2 months old! But nowwwww….he’s 7 months old already! He’s half of a year now and how I wish I could stop him from growing! Tehee!😝🥰

Many things happened lately. No, I mean for the past few monthszzy….

On the March, while I was busy planning for Mama’s Fabulous 50th Birthday. I felt something wasn’t right with myself. Myself kept telling me to check a Pregancy Kit. It last for 2 weeks I felt that way, I have tried to brushed it off as it is impossible for me to be pregnant again when Ozil is only 3 months old during that time. So after 2 weeks of having that feeling. One night, while Ozil is sleeping and the husband was in the room playing PS4, I decided to take the balance of my pregnancy kit that I still had during Ozil’s time. So I went to the toilet, urined on it, waited and waited and tada! The result is out! It was a clear 2 lines!!

I was so shocked, super shocked to the point I check the packaging whether it’s a expire kit! Haha. But no… I paused for a second in the toilet. I open the toilet door, stand infront of the toilet door for 5 seconds, the husband turned at me and asked why im standing there stonely. With my voice, softly I told him “B, I pregnant lagi…” while showing him the kit from far. His face was shocked, he paused a second and then “Merepek lah b.” He thought I was playing around like how I always do to him haha. But no, this time serious sia! Haha. Dengan cepat, I went up to him, showed him the kit and he smiled…”Alhamdullilah b…” And I was like… “Serious uh?” HAHAHA. So I asked him “B nak check lagi tak? Impossible ni.” So he said yes and I took another 5 more kits to try! haha

After done urined on all the kits, yes all result is the same as the picture above!!! ITS A POSITIVE RESULT!!! Alhamdulillahhhh....

5 kits with 2 clear lines on it! I was shocked again! IT WAS SO UNBELIVEABLE!

I went out the toilet, went to husband and showed him all the kits! He smiled again and continue main game. Serious uh? Gitu je? Then I said… “B I have to go through the labour againnnn….” Hahaha. And that period of time, I couldn’t believe there’s a heartbeat in me! Ya Allah!

So I scheduled to meet my gynae few days after that. Did the scan etc, and was told , my pregnancy was already 2 months old! Another shocking part! So Ozil was 3 months during that time, and my 2nd baby is already 2 months old! Haha. Alhamdullilah, afterall, I’m truly blessed. Right after everything, I still kept this secret from mama! Thought of surprising her during her birthday party, but nope. She gonna be damn shock infront every single one! So I surprised her before her birthday party!

Mama's exact reaction after I told her! She was shocked, in a total shocked!😅 Papa kat sebelah dengan tangan cakap "Alhamdullilahhhhh.." hahaha

This is what i wrapped and gave her for present. Dengan gambar scan terus bagi mama!😅hehe

And then… here comes her birthday party on the 24 March.

Planned was successful! I managed to call everyone in mama’s families to join the fun! Alhamdullilah mama is in so much happiness!

And right after mama’s birthday celebration, Ozil got caught with diarrhea! Diarrhea for 2 weeks straight! It was super super tiring. Changing his diapers every 1 - 2 hours because he been pooping nonstop and it’s a watery poppy! After the 2 weeks straight, he got caught with high fever! And then the husb got caught with high fever. After the high fever, Ozil got caught with Flu & Cough. Non stop I tell you. Ozil been falling sick and sick and sick, and then husband pulak jangkit Ozil, and then my turn, and then back to Ozil. The cycle kept running. Honestly, my maternity leave ends on February and was supposed to start work middle of the March. But i’ve been coming and not coming from March till June! Yes, I just started my working days properly starting this week! Since March I’ve not been coming for the whole week, or either coming to work 2 or 3 days in the week.

I was really tired, and what’s more during Ozil having diarrhea, high fever etcetc, I was on my 1st trimester. And honestly, I wasn’t pay much attention with my pregnancy during that time. I put my full attention to Ozil. Alhamdullilah, everything’s getting better now.

And now.. I’m on my 2nd Trimester and will be ending soon next week. But I still had migraines, muscle cramps.

My 2nd pregnancy was super different to be compared during Ozil’s time.

When I was pregnant with Ozil. I was super super exhausted ONLY during the 1st trimester and that was normal lah eh. Then I entered 2nd trimester, I was super active. Super active that I can still travel from Johor-Singapore-Johor every single weekends when I had to work. I remembered how my husband followed me in the morning took train from Johor to Singapore, then he went home to sleep and then in the afternoon when I finished my work, we will meet up at Woodlands checkpoint and trained back to Johor. Every single weekends we will do that. Sampai dah tahu timing2 nak book train macam mana haha. Also I remember, when the trains is out, we had no choice but to take bus to Johor. The Q was super long and we stand nearly 2-3 hours at the JB custom. I can still happily doing it haha

And then during my last Trimester at 7+months, Alhamdullilah, we received our house key. And then during that period of time, we was super busy. Renovation etcetc. We went up and down for our housing renovation. We went to and fro Jurong-Bukit Batok-Jurong every single day with my yes, 8 months tummy haha. I was still strong to go through it everyday without feeling tired! Imagine how heavy it was carrying the 8-9 months tummy to and fro! Till the day I gave birth!

But my current pregnancy was super different. I’m only at 6 months now and I already felt so so heavy, felt super lazy. Ya Allah, part malas ni jangan cakap uh. Malas semalas malasnyaaaaa… Even my colleague Makcik Siti tegur me “Sabrina… Cik tengok kali ni Sabrina mengandung lain sikit. Cik tengok takde seri langsung. Masa Sabrina mengandung anak 1st, Sabrina selalu datang kerja hari2 pakai eyeshadow. Tapi kali ni, 1 makeup pun takde.” Haha. Seriously, I myself don’t believe im out without makeup! Not even a single face powder! Super bare face to work everyday. Im always out atleast ada eyeliner, but no, not a single eyeliner too! Yes, I assumed it’s the pregnancy homones! Confirm2 pregnancy hormones uh! Mana aku pernah keluar takde celak atau bedak pun! That was so not me eh takde makeup! Hahaha. So yes, this makcik was so so true! She even said “Masa 1st anak, badan Sabrina Nampak kosong. Kali ni punggung Sabrina naik.” Hmmmm…. What else should I say? Even mama told me I was super selekeh this pregnancy haha.

Please bear with me for awhile people! After this pregnancy, I will be back to myself ok! Hahahha

Well.. I was super blessed. Blessed with what Allah has gifted me nonstop. One after another of rezeki I received! But through it all, I know everything that happened ada hikmanya. Truthfully, this wasn’t a plan pregnancy. It was superb unplanned! So so unexpected! But that doesn’t mean unwanted or unloved, It just means Allah knew what I needed before even I did. Alhamdullilah for every single thing.

After I got to know I was pregnant, the first thing first I wanna know is whether it’s a single baby or a twins or triplets! Haha. Because me & my husband born with a family genes of twinny & triplets! So that was the very 1st thing I concern was! Kalau kembar ke triplets, ya allah, another blessing but another thing….pengsan kitaaaa hahaha. But still.. kalau Allah nak beri rezeki, siapa kita nak tolak kan? But alhamdullilah, there’s only 1 in me. AND! THE NEXT THING I WANNA KNOW IS! YES! THE GENDER! Gender is the main thing me, husband and my family wanna know! But still… it doesn’t matter if it was a girl or boy. Truthfully, I don’t mind if it was a boy again, because Ozil ada friend to play with! And if it was a girl, I ada friend to play makeup makeup with! Hahaha. So both is totally fine for me. Also husband is super supportive. Either boy or girl, both he is super fine. Yang penting…. Ive to go through 9 months again ehhhh! Haha.

Alhamdullilah… everything is getting better. Ozil is 7 months old now, and we as his parents already know how to manage in taking care of a baby haha. But still, there’s more for us to learn lah kan. Futhermore, now Ozil is 6 months where foods is starting to play apart. So besides milk, I have to be ready to feed him foods. I’m so excited to explore more in him! Can’t wait to see him walk especially! Haha.

As of now… I’m in the midst of planning for Ozil’s 1st year birthday! Kiasu gile kan! I know! Haha. But I wanna make a big birthday party for him! 5 more months to plan, and I already got sooo many ideas for his birthday! Definitely making a happening birthday party for him! And what’s more we will be having adik with us also during Ozil’s birthday! Hehe. Couldn’t believe Ozil and his adik is 11 months apart haha.

I guess that’s all for now.. Don’t know when will be my next post after this. Haha. Been super busy with life. But as usual, ive been updating my daily life through Ig stories.

But before I end this post…

I wanna congratulate my sissy who just got married last 2 months during Puasa month!

CONGRATULATIONS KAKAK & ABANG RA!❤

I was super happy seeing you finally married!

After all that you have been through over the past years, you definitely deserve this happiness! More and more happiness! Allah listened. So here it is.. He gave you the happiness you have been craving for, wanted for, wishing for and has been prayed for.

“Bercinta selepas bernikah..” That’s what you ever told me it would be beautiful if you ended up that way. And tada! Allah has make you ended up that way! See.. Allah plan is always the best. Always always the best. Cuma kita je yang tak nampak dan tak faham kenapa Allah uji kita. Allah uji kita sekarang, tapi pengakhirannya nanti akan jadi indah. Insya’Allah.

Aku doa semoga kau selalu diberikan kebahgiaan. Insya’Allah.😘🥰

That’s all for today’s post! 🌸

[nulfaga]

2-11 for Nene? (skipping 1 bc that ones always hard as fuck)

ghjgjhdkfjh this whole thing was hard as fuck but u right

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

probably lying to her mom about being an assassin... like she meets her mom again on a job when she’s in her 20s and her mom like genuinely apologizes for being so cold; “i thought the gods had given me an ill-omened child but you just functioned a little differently and i was always proud of your intelligence” like. you don’t really come back to that by saying “Actually Mom You Were Right I Kill People For A Living Now”

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

On the same job that took her to hammerfell to see her mother, her assassination target managed to basically slice open her abdomen and gut her. the pain itself could have been worse, it was like a nasty cramp if anything, but being as squeamish and afraid of death as nene is and seeing your fukn... u get the picture... it was like the worst thing, period.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

idk if this question is like, a bad nightmare that she’s had, or like a “nightmare scenario” type of thing... i think its the first one

on the whole nene is an extremely sound/deep sleeper and gets her 8 hours with no hassle or interruption, but when she does have nightmares theyre about her being powerless to act on the world and the things in it...but the worst ones are when the people she knows and (thinks she) loves are in them acting strangely and saying nonsensical things and doing the most vile shit to her and she has to wake up and unpack what the fuck that means lmao. she has those maybe twice a year?

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

surface: ruining her reputation, giving people the idea that she’s soft or inconsistent

repressed: really, really loving and knowing someone

deep: the fact that you can never ever see into other people’s minds and anyone could turn heel in a second no matter how much you love them or how much you think they love you (this one is 89% from her mother)

6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

blood & bodily fluids, pretty handy for an assassin right lol

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

not that she hates being short, but she hates that her brother towers over her. one thing she doesn’t miss is hearing “—or what, you’re going to come up here and fight me?”

also the scar on her belly from when she was attacked in hammerfell, not least because it left her infertile

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

im going to refer back to the blood thing fjgfgfhhfg but also she’s just easily overstimulated by light and sound in general. it’s why she tends to love the db sanctuaries; dim, quiet except for the comforting chatter of her d. siblings. & those lil skeleton dudes? iconic!

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

idk she’s kind of an all-rounder? i guess the scar since it still cramps up or twinges sometimes and if she got knifed there again it would probably kill her

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

oof. shes moody, manipulative, obsessive, cold, sarcastic, guarded, etc etc etc ad infinitum but the biggest way to Get her is to very subtly make her second-guess herself and the people around her cus she falls into doubt spirals at the drop of a pin. ofc the outside world would never know but

11. Do they have any vices?

she smokes and drinks but she has an iron will and rations it out...she doesnt go after like a high necessarily shes the type of person who drinks black coffee and water exclusively. its more like, 1) fits the image shes trying to cultivate and 2) can help put a target at ease. also 3) lighting her lovers cigarette by leaning in close with hers is something she finds really amusing for some reason. little safe gestures without any commitment behind them. she never touches skooma or sleeping tree sap or anything tho