#so now i'm happier with him
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I know, I know, I haven't even finished archiving my first Ross run here, and I'm already like 👀 new Ross run babe? What can I say, I love me some mods, I needed to see bg3!Ross modded, and also I guess Rosstarion quickly became a comfort thing so I'm excited to replay them. Caleb who. I mean. Well. Caleb's there too. I mean, Fakeleb.
#nika plays bg3#bg3!ross is supposed to be in his 30s. about 34 i think#but ross also canonically looks way younger than that#if you remember lilith nicknamed ts4!ross eternally babyfaced and he was like ok i'll grow a mustache. still babyfaced but w facial hair no#anyway all the vanilla bg3 faces were either not him enough or too mature#so now i'm happier with him#and just his face alone being more accurate makes me wanna take him for another run#mostly the first ross run was perfect and almost everything turned out how i wanted it (except gale's ending. didn't want him like that heh#but i might replay it just for comfort like i said#also i wanna try multiclassing him#i've been multiclassing a lot in my current run and it's so awesome
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495 days until jimin is back ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ bts monuments: beyond the star episode 7
cr. moreloveforhobi
#bts#btsgif#btsedit#btsdaily#park jimin#jimin#jungkook#jeon jungkook#jiminedit#mine#jmcountdown#userkelli#userpat#useremmeline#rjshope#annietrack#raplineuser#userdimple#usersky#i'm so glad he's in a happier mental place now and that he has friends looking out for him :'))
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Friendly reminder that in the Demigod Diaries (which is canon I believe not that it matters at this point), Leo Valdez genuinely refers to Jason Grace as "surfer-dude handsome"
#before talking about how much happier his girlfriend is#now that she's dating him#i know i could've just said Piper#but like#for Emphasis#jason grace#heroes of olympus#leo valdez#valgrace#you can read this however you like honestly#but Leo be out here going#“oh yes that is my super handsome Friend who brings happiness to all that i appreciate so much”#about Jason#and then all Piper gets that same moment is#“she was also really happy about dating my super handsome friend”#like bro#i'm exaggerating a little bit here#but honestly not much#piper mclean
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Todoroki on the first anniversary art vs the latest art
Look at him. He's changed so much, he's improved so much, he's HEALED SO MUCH
#AAhh#he looks so happy#I love him I'm so happy for him#I know he's not int the best position in the manga right now#but still he's so much happier now#BNHA manga spoilers#mha#my hero acadeia#MHA manga spoilers#bnha shoto#shoto todoroki#mha thoughts
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Melotober - Day 11 - Dream
Chosen Earthmates
#Melotober#Welcome to Margot's yearly attempt to draw both of these two in the same image and maybe like it still the next day#Rune Factory#Rune Factory Frontier#RF#RF Frontier#RFF#RF1#Rune Factory Raguna#RF Raguna#Rune Factory Ivan#RF Ivan#Rune Factory Whale Island#RF Whale Island#Rune Factory Terrable#RF Terrable#If Whale Island can talk through dreams then so can Terrable so says I because rf1 didn't say 'no'#but yEAH game 1 just drops that Ivan talks to Terrable but never says how before his ascension so it's free headcanon real estate#I loved those dream things in Frontier- it gave a wonderful extra level of a supernatural/magic feel to the protag#and any excuse I get to sloppily paint Whale Island and/or Terrable will be taken#could've had this done yesterday and queued but... funny story... it took me forever to start on it because of#a horse named Ivan that's boarded where I work. He caused some tension between his human caretakers yesterday#(just Upper Management vs Non Management spats when there are no actual real problems)#and I just. Did NOT want to even think of an Ivan. Was so grouchy. Until I got over it and sketched anyway FFFFF#Ivan the horsey. Lucky I absolutely adore him. Still mad at him for yesterday. But I'm much happier now#anyway time to submit#Margot's RF Art#I KEEP FORGETTING MY ART TAG
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One must imagine Sisyphus happy
#Ultrakill#Sisyphus Prime#Sisyphus Ultrakill#Minos Ultrakill#King Sisyphus#I almost tagged Minos Prime but he's not actually in this one oops#Cw:#Body horror#Blood#ANYWAY I PROMISED I WOULD DRAW HIM AFTER ARTFIGHT! I'VE DELIVERED!! OLD MAN YAOI* IS REAL!!!!!!!!!#*This isn't actually ship art. I mean it can be why not but I'm not explicitly tagging it as ship#I had so much trouble drawing Sisyphus Prime's head before I realized I can just stylize him however I want and that made it so much easier#Much happier with this one than the last one I drew; that's for sure#Human Sisyphus was also super fun to draw he's so silly (says this about a guy who has killed hundreds and will do it again)#Anyway shoutout to the people who followed for rain world and are now getting buff shirtless men on their dash. It will happen again#Hrokkall Art
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It's called ✨growth✨
BAD BUDDY EP 9 OUR SKYY 2 BAD BUDDY EP 4
#he is my baby#and i am very very proud of him#they're all in a much happier place now#every single one of them#bad buddy#bad buddy brain rot#bad buddy series#our skyy 2#our skyy bad buddy#parallels my beloved#kk.gifs#pdribs#uservid#vi i'm making your set soon!!#lighting for these was a pain#so this is what you get. sorry
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my experience with maxing out the twins' friendship is just-
Hawke: So, Carver, my dear baby brother who I love and adore, I only need +10 more points to max out your friendship. I've done the grind; through gritted teeth I've kissed templar ass so that we don't raise suspicion. I've supported and defended you and let you take the lead whenever I could. You're my favorite warrior. I took you to the Deep Roads with me because you desperately wanted to go and then made you a warden and you found a place, a purpose. I've practically written my own guide on how to earn as much friendship with you because I love you and it's totally worth it so can I please please have the last +10...? Carver: Hawke: Carver please I'm begging you Carver: Carver: +5 Friendship Hawke: AAUUGGGHHLKSAJDLKAJSDLK-
Hawke: So, Bethany, my dear sis- Bethany: +50 Friendship Hawke: Bethany: :)
#dragon age#dragon age 2#da2#bethany hawke#carver hawke#i love them both they're my favorites#but oh my god the grind of maxing out carver's friendship because it's absolutely worth it and then playing another run with bethany#where i blinked and suddenly her friendship was maxed out was a wild experience sksksk#and it's interesting to think about how carver is 'difficult' when it comes to getting friendship whereas bethany already starts with +50#so it's easier to max her out just by being kind to her and doing her quests early#but after act 1 carver becomes so much softer when your friendship is high with him BUT bethany? i'm leaning more toward making her a warde#and i know she's going to be so resentful of me for it despite having maxed friendship like that's so fascinating??#how the twins start off on such opposite ends with different attitudes toward hawke?? and how after act 1 they switch??#well for the warden routes anyway... i refuse to let carver join the templars and i really REALLY don't want bethany to go to the circle#she won't be happier there no one can convince me she's happier as a circle mage... 'accepting your place' isn't the same as being happy#carver can find a place he's content with whereas bethany is screwed over either way since her magic isn't something she can just let go of#like yes both twins are bitter that they didn't survive the deep roads but carver's always worn his bitterness on his sleeve#whereas bethany felt she had to hide hers because she felt she had to be grateful for the sacrifices her family made for her#and now they are both trapped and free at the same time... carver just happens to thrive but bethany feels she traded one cage for another#ugh the hawke twins THE HAWKE TWINS Y'ALL#I just want them to be happy and loved and alive... why is that too much to ask for??
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Ask prompt fill for @astreamofstars for this ask meme: Questioning Sentences, Vol. 33 Jaheira/Khalid (and others) - “Are you getting my wife into trouble?” Two fills for the price of one cos I couldn't decide if I liked this idea or the other one better for this prompt so I did both. XD Set during Siege of Dragonspear, but doesn't include any spoilers.
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“All right.” Caden sways blearily on his feet, gesturing with the tankard in his hand. “Are you ready… for the master plan?”
“Minsc is ready,” Minsc agrees eagerly. “For a plan which Caden makes is masterful indeed!’
They make a rather comical tableau, gathered together in the shadows at the edge of the coalition camp. Caden is pacing unsteady circles, occasionally stopping to lean on one of the nearby trees. Nearby, Minsc and Rasaad sit side by side; Minsc has drained his mug completely and his eyes are wide with inebriated enthusiasm, while Rasaad is holding himself to ramrod stillness, the alcohol only evident in the slightly unfocused look in his eyes and the amused smile playing around his lips.
And there’s the cat, of course, which is prowling through the grass around Caden’s feet. Unlike Caden and the others, though, the cat almost melds into invisibility with the shadows. Its fluffy coat is dark gray except for a stripe of white along the tail, leaving the glint of its eyes the only obvious sign of its presence.
“Steady, Caden,” Rasaad says with a low chuckle, watching his friend take another gulp of ale. “If you are not careful, I believe you might pitch over.”
He takes a sip from his own mug and glances over her shoulder back towards the center of the camp. No one seems to have noticed them sneaking off; most of the army has gone to sleep and the fires are burning low. The guards on watch are attentive to threats from the outside, and they have little interest to spare for the erstwhile Hero of Baldur’s Gate and his friends lurking drunkenly outside Torsin de Lancie’s tent.
“Nonsense,” Caden says gravely. “My balance is perfect and my ideas better still. Now--” He points at the cat, who is watching him with a glassy-eyed attentiveness, its tail lashing back and forth. “The key to it all.” He swings his hand in a wide arc and points dramatically into the darkness. “...A hole.”
Minsc turns his head to peer in the direction Caden is pointing and the wall of dark green canvas that sits there. “A tent,” he corrects Caden earnestly.
Caden blinks, then releases a very uncharacteristic giggle and downs another mouthful of his drink. “Nooooo,” he says, over-enunciating. “There’s a hole in the tent.” He points again at the cat. “And you can fit through it.”
The cat mrowls thoughtfully, then flops over onto its side and rolls so it is looking at Caden upside down.
“Exactly,” Caden says, nodding several times vigorously. “And then - havoc. Shred de Lancie’s shirts. Steal his sword. Whatever you can think of.”
“It would certainly serve him right,” Rasaad agrees. He smirks over the rim of his mug as he takes another sip. “We would send Caden himself, but we have all seen his attempts at subtlety.”
“Shuuuush…” Caden whines, laughing, and punches Rasaad gently in the shoulder. This does, in fact, overbalance him and he sits down hard in the grass next to the tent’s front peg. “Oof. Well?” He grins goofily at the cat. “What d’you think?”
The cat climbs slowly and methodically up Caden’s arm until it is balanced on his shoulder, and begins to knead its claws vigorously into his shirt.
“Ow.” He grunts. Reaching up, he picks the cat up and sets it back on the ground, climbing unsteadily back to his feet. “I’ll take that as a yes. C’mon, Rasaad and Minsc and I will keep guard, and you can--”
He stops abruptly as, turning, he bumps into a man standing in his way who seems to have materialized out of the shadows. “Oh. Hello, Khalid,” he says, blinking rapidly like a child caught raiding the pantry.
Out of armor, Khalid looks about an inch shorter and considerably less broad than he usually does; his mop of dark hair is mussed from his helmet and he’s dressed for bed in a loose, dark tunic and a pair of Calishite-style trousers. “G-good evening, Caden,” he says cheerfully; his weariness from the day’s travel is evident in the thickness of his stammer, but he grins good-naturedly. “Are you g-g-getting my wife into trouble?”
Caden cocks his head at the older man innocently, an effect marred a little as he sways back on his heels. “Dunno what you’re talking about,” he says.
“Mmhm.” Khalid peers past him at the cat who has begun to groom itself, its fluffy tail curled up over its back. “S-she is not in b-bed, and that c-c-c-cat looks familiar. Are you quite sure?”
Caden follows his gaze and shakes his head. “It’s just a cat,” he says, very seriously.
Khalid laughs. “There is n-n-no fooling me, C-Caden, I’m afraid,” he says.
At the sound of his voice, the cat’s head suddenly shoots up. Darting past Caden, it hurls itself at Khalid’s legs and begins circling him, rubbing up against his shins and purring ecstatically.
Khalid’s grin softens. “Y-you see?” he murmurs. Crouching down, he runs a hand slowly along the cat’s silky fur from head to tail-tip, and the purring rises in volume like the rumble of a distant thunderstorm. “I would kn-know her in every shape,” he murmurs. “Though… the s-s-s-stripe on her tail is a d-d-dead giveaway.”
The cat nips at his hand, and he chuckles. “Am I g-g-giving away your secrets, my love? I’m s-s-sorry.” He raises an eyebrow at Caden. “N-now - out with it. Are you g-g-getting my wife into trouble?”
There’s a low hissing sound, and the wildshape melts away, leaving Jaheira, curled awkwardly on the ground, pressed against his thigh. She looks up at him with a bleary smile and pokes him in the side. “How dare you?” she says reprovingly; the words, though carefully pronounced, have a distinct tipsy slur. “I do not need the boy’s help to get myself into trouble.”
“Ahhhhh, I s-see.” Khalid’s eyes widen and he juts out his jaw, mock-appalled. “A d-d-drunken band, the l-lot of you.”
“I believe you have mispronounced ‘criminal masterminds,’ Khalid,” Rasaad says with a sage nod.
“Well, t-t-tell me, then,” Khalid says. His lips twitch with amusement. “What c-c-conspiracy can you be m-m-masterminding at this t-time of night?”
Caden downs the rest of his mug. “Messing with Torsin de Lancie’s tent,” he says matter-of-factly.
Khalid tilts his head slowly to one side. His eyes flick over the tent, to the hole in the fabric at its rear, then to Caden, then to Jaheira. Then he starts to laugh. “Ahhhh, I see,” he says, shaking his head ruefully. “Well… why d-d-didn’t you say so in the f-f-first place? C-carry on.”
#ask meme#astreamofstars#caden of candlekeep#jaheira#khalid#rasaad yn bashir#minsc#jaheira x khalid#khalid x jaheira#this is so silly lmao but i had fun writing it#set during siege of dragonspear but no spoilers really#except that torsin de lancie is a dick#which isn't really a spoiler just a fact#to be honest in spite of the seriousness of the situation i think SoD is one of Caden's happier times on the road#imoen isn't there which sucks but the crisis at hand isn't directly related to him in the way that it is in bg1 and bg2#and he has nice times in camp with his four other closest friends#well five but dynaheir is too smart to get caught up in this nonsense so she's happily asleep right now XD#(i'm actually mad cos i initially wrote this whole thing with imoen in it forgetting that she's not present in Siege)#(and it had a fun joke that i had to remove bc Imoen would have said it but Minsc/Rasaad wouldn't)#ty for the prompt as always friend <3 hope you enjoy!
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something something foils moving in opposite directions Goku's always happy to seek and fight stronger opponents because he spent most of his life being the strongest guy in the room and Vegeta wants to be the strongest/is always exhausted to find stronger opponents because he spent most of his life having to navigate his survival around the whims of the strongest guy in the universe room and so Goku has a foundation of safety and stability and so spends his time craving challenge and adventure and Vegeta has a foundation of challenge and adventure and spends his time craving safety and stability and the overlaid section of their venn diagram is that the only way they know how acquire and maintain those things is through battle
#thank you this has been the laziest media analysis post of my career#dbtag#media analysis#something something a game to goku is a threat to vegeta etc#there's a pinned thought here about how Vegeta also didn't learn about the dragon balls until he was ?? 30?? and so all loss is permanent#and goku has been familiar since he was ~12 and hasn't faced a permanent consequence since he was 10 years old and even then he got closure#sometimes I think about how Vegeta saw Trunks die and how Krillin was mad at him for reacting since they could fix it with the dragon balls#but Vegeta has very limited experience with the dragon so to him in that moment that was permanent and Trunks was Dead. Forever.#And we talked before in a 2am post about Vegeta having never experienced grief born of love and I stand by it because his feelings then wer#still very new and very odd and not something he'd accepted until that moment so it was raw power but not as powerful as it could've been#all this to say in my heart of hearts I think Vegeta deserves to retire at the end of super (if super continues) -- not as a warrior#but as an infantryman. he's a prince and now he's got his domain and his family and his planet to look after and I think he deserves#to go home and stay home and help piccolo bully gohan into training more often when goku inevitably leaves to hop the multiverse#geets wanted to take a sabbatical when Bulla was born but didn't get the chance because Freeza coming back freaked him out too much#but whether freeza gets a redemption arc or gets defeated -- Granolah's arc seemed to shift his perspective on being the strongest#and I just grips fist I just think it would be a really nice full circle for Vegeta to inherit his throne in a way he never expected and#finally get his kingdom to look after and protect in the way that he was looking forward to being king of his own planet all those years ag#Goku's got Broly and Jiren and Hit and all the others to keep him busy and happy now -- and if Freeza gets a redemption arc he'll probably#continue playing slap-ass with Goku for the rest of his life -- and Vegeta's got Gohan and Piccolo and Goten and Trunks#I just think them getting a nice bittersweet 'This is where we part ways' would be really nice for both of them because !!#They couldn't have done this without each other. They couldn't have known this kind of life was possible without each other.#So they swap lots and live happier than they ever imagined they could be#especially since Vegeta has proved to himself that he can close any gap Goku creates in progress that's not a concern anymore#And obvs the door's always open!! There's no point closing it Vegeta's tried the locks they don't work on Goku#anyway here's me putting the whole essay in the tags again#this isn't an essay as much as it is stream of consciousness tag blogging#anyway i'm too lazy to write fic or draw comics so we get ramblings instead
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I have been thinking about two things all day.
That post I saw this morning very confidently believing that a $130k salary is "comfortably middle class" in Los Angeles, which made me laugh, then have a mild existential crisis.
Sam Shepard absolutely slaying it at karaoke to "Walking On Broken Glass."
So. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#adventures with swaps#'shoot it again sam' shepard#the burnout in basically every facet of life is real right now#so i'm latching onto a happier sam to find some seratonin#i will never make pop culture references in my sci-fi stories#it's a weird pet peeve of mine#but let it be known that if i did#sam shepard would be a 90s guy to his core#and you can pry this secret headcanon out of my cold dead hands#i need this#just as badly as i need him doing a mean duet with aslany to wannabe
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Laptop, now available for 500 pet-tickets (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#W. D. Ghoster#It's a fair exchange don't worry about the arcade ticket-counter jacked up prices just go right ahead and buy now pay later#More of this because it's cute lol#I had a few more that were more general thoughts and trying to expand without getting So huge that they were unworkable lol#Striking that balance ✨ Reasonable attainable goals! Probably! Lol#He's just fun to play around with hehe ♪#I also felt like I was finally starting to fall into a comfortable pattern of drawing him here haha - still no studies but getting happier#Dot eyes are quite cute hehe#He's made up of a lot of elements I've forgotten over time! Smooth round head and no nose bridge exactly - no ears lol#Takes a bit to fall back into the groove but him being cute helps#I do really like the little two-set of him shooing the player's hand away from petting haha#And then being so sassy about remaining unbothered haha - he has a new toy! Stop distracting him!#Yes I spelled gratitude wrong it's fine lol#I'm also quite partial to trying to talk about ukagakas with him and him stubbornly refusing to engage haha#Just a quick fourth wall break that he blatantly ignores hehe#And the final stage - acceptance#Haha ♪
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Under the cut are mostly self-insert doodles of decreasing quality. Again, not much directly tied to Team Fortress 2. Might as well toss these out while I have no access to my puter. Much yapping under the cut and in the tags incoming.
Another self-insert, this time less of a "here's me as a tenth class" and more of a "here's my game experiences translated into the class I would take the place of". The Cleaner. Although I guess they could still be wearing either suit. It doesn't matter that much.
That one Convict's Case taunt with Backup would be extremely funny, because the man would be on the verge of a breakdown (he does not want to go to jail so bad you have no idea). The second image- I owe no explanation. You know what I am. You see the pattern with my favourites.
The duality of the man. Resting face versus "just heard you express interest in religion/Russian folklore" face. He's not that hard to make friends with, when you pull him away from all the explosions.
Some doodles of trying to figure his face out. Unfortunately, the more I stare at him, the more I worry that he looks like A Certain Guy With The Last Name "Kazarin", and the fear of never being original in my life caught up to me.
Don't look at me, don't perceive me, I refuse to explain any of my actions to you.
#team fortress 2#tf2#that's it that's the only tags i am putting this in. maybe someday i will have the balls to do more but for now that's about it#while i have the chance - and since posts with more of my yapping in the tags don't pop in people's feeds much - i might as well ramble-#-about these guys here. self-inserts or not i'm projecting only half of my bullshit on each one of them. creativity 👍#backup is tall and pale and has sharp canines and more of a dull brown hair colour with tired grey eyes. no amount of babyface or soft-#-hands can really help a motherfucker when he's grimacing so much because he just Hates being around half the people on the team.#cleaner meanwhile is on the shorter side and has constantly flushed skin and brighter colours and whatnot. you can't see it because of the-#-mask most of the time but they do smile a lot more and have a more cheery disposition towards life and see the whole team as their friends!#backup transitioned fully (albeit not very legally lmao) and is scared shitless of not being seen as a man although the last time that ever-#-came up was years ago. he holds onto his last name as part of the heritage he loves and loathes at the same time - attached to his culture-#-and religion and bloodline while also resentful of his family and the regime he knows someone else on the team suffered under.#cleaner just kinda binds and calls it a day. he only does it to confuse the team because while he doesn't identify with being a girl he-#-loves the confused looks his epic gender reveal moment gets. they do not remember their family name or where they grew up or what even got-#-them to this kind of mental state. and he's chill with it he values the here and now way more than some dark edgy backstory.#backup despite trying to be an honest man is afraid of vulnerability as well. he stubbornly refuses to express love towards certain people-#-lest they feel disgusted and turn away. he's afraid of consequences afraid of losing the people he loves afraid of his ''interests'' being-#-what drives them away. it doesn't by the way and he just wasted time being a cold indecisive loser for several months lmao#cleaner wears a suit that hides all of them yes but they pretty much never lie. he is always his truest self and he can always just burn-#-people who don't like him enough to make it a problem. they are a lot more comfortable indulging in their interests - be they innocent-#-and juvenile or violent and dangerous. he is quite open with his affection and his fascinations that backup would rather keep secret.#i want to establish that these two can only exist in separate universes because they both have feelings towards the funny assistant lady-#-and the funny inventor guy (selfshipping for the winnn) and would fight over those two. cleaner would win by the way#it's also a really funny point of comparison. cleaner is objectively more fucked up than backup and still managed to be more normal about-#-their feelings and live as a healthier and happier person than that guy. comedic gold honestly#OKAY I'M DONE if you read up to here you get uhhh a cookie :-)
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Happy Pride month to these two
#Norman Osborn#Green Goblin#Doctor Otto Octavius#Doctor Octopus#Doc Ock#Octogoblin#I finally got NWH Otto!#found him at a booth at the strawberry festival of all places#I'm even happier that I got to go there now#I wish they'd make a Rosie one so Otto can have his wife too but I don't think that's ever gonna happen :(#maybe I'll acquire the materials and skills to make one of her some day#shut up Blapis#This Post Gots Notes? (The Accidental Hall of Fame)
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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a truly terrible idea has latched hold of my gremlin brain which is, buck and tommy do break up so that buck can pursue eddie because either tommy thinks buck is in love with eddie or buck feels like he should be with eddie because everyone else keeps suggesting there's something more there BUT buck/eddie getting together changes their dynamic so much that neither of them are enjoying themselves (and they're worrying about losing what made their friendship so special because of all the changes to the dynamic) AND buck and tommy keep hooking up [air quotes] platonically (with tommy stumbling into inconvenient feelings and pining pathetically for buck while fucking him) while buck struggles to sort out intense feelings toward eddie (which obviously have to be romantic of course) vs. his calm, more settled feelings toward tommy (they're not as intense as his feelings about eddie so they can't possibly be romantic) blah blah long story slightly less long but buck realizes he's been in love with tommy the whole time and was having trouble separating strong but platonic feelings for eddie from his romantic feelings toward tommy and then tommy's like "newsflash asshole i've been in love with you the whole goddamn time"
i'll never write it because it's irredeemably stupid and i value my peace but it IS sitting in my hindbrain tormenting me right now
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#i'm not tagging this bc i don't want it showing up in any show or ship tags but...............................#terrible evil plotbunny free to a good home#nobody ever writes about the friends who get together bc 'why not everyone else already thinks we're dating' and then it doesn't work out#because the dynamic changes SO MUCH that you're not sure if it was such a good idea in the first place#now add a third person to the mix that you like but aren't sure how you feel about them#not sure if eddie would be aware it's casual and non exclusive or if there'd be miscommunication leading to angst#honestly this is just me venting my frustrations with those breakup fics masqueraring as b*cktommy that have tommy#graciously sacrificing himself on the altar of b*ddie's true love and stepping aside magnanimously#that's not interesting to me to read even as a b*ddie shipper#if buck and tommy have to break up let it be real and messy because real people are real and messy#let tommy fight for buck even if it doesn't end up working out#let buck and eddie feel guilty because buck did genuinely care about tommy and eddie does like him as a friend#let tommy cut both of them off because even though he likes both of them he still has feelings and it hurts seeing them together#let tommy be petty about showing off a new love interest or fwb and how much happier he is with this guy than he was with buck#let buck wonder if he made the right choice or not bc he didn't ever want to hurt tommy#he only convinced himself tommy would be completely fine with the breakup because he needed him to be fine so that he could do it guilt fre#let eddie wonder if they made the right choice or not bc while he finally has what he's wanted for years it did hurt someone he really like#maybe it'll all work out in the end for buck and eddie AND tommy but i just want it to feel real and not overly polished and sanitized#and no one is hurt or upset or petty or flawed#anyway#i like mess#don't @ me#i might have to write this now but i don't want to be chased off with pitchforks and torches#text#shut up giallos
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