#so not only is he not hiding behind that persona but he's also more vulnerable and open and therefore its not surprising he'd be more jumpy

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

once again thinking about trent startling easily

[khywren]

it's time for some more astarion analysis~

making this a separate post in case people wanted to reblog just the gifs on their own and don't care about the extra fluff. i'm certain this scene has been analyzed to the hells and back by this point, but when i was making this set something really stuck out to me and i wanted to throw my two cents in anyway.

this is the tail end of the mirror scene from act 1, where you catch astarion looking in the mirror and lamenting about not being able to see his reflection or knowing what he looks like anymore. and while that alone is sad enough, it gets SO MUCH WORSE.

if you express genuine interest in his predicament (i.e. asking him if he misses his reflection and what color his eyes were before he was turned), you get to see the mask slip. it's one of the first times in the game that he's not hiding behind his quick wit and silver tongue.

if you tell him you'll be his mirror, you can see the change in his demeanor immediately. his face softens, the cadence of his voice changes; you can literally hear the vulnerability in every word he says. huge props to neil and the rest of larian for making the distinction between these dialogue options, of course. it's the little details that really make moments like these shine.

but there was something else i noticed in the footage i recorded as well that i hadn't picked up on any of my other playthroughs. i've spent a lot of time staring at this man's face, especially while capturing idle animations for gifs and wallpapers, and most of the time it's what you'd expect, with minimal face movement, expressions changing, etc. most companions i record seem to behave the same way, with similar expressions/blinking/eye movement.

but just look at astarion's face here. this feels deliberately unique. he is SO anxious, so worried how you'll perceive him. the rapid blinking, the nervous darting of his eyes… it genuinely breaks my heart.

(tumblr will only let me upload one video per post, but just look at any other idle footage of him and you'll see the difference)

and the second you tell him what he thinks he wants to hear? that he's very attractive? he slips right back into his suave, flirtatious persona, and even praises you for complimenting his looks. even if you eventually ask him if all he wants is shallow praise, he still deflects and isn't completely honest with you.

note that if you choose to take the less compassionate route and simply tell them that he has a "very good face," he will still prompt you to tell him what you see when you look at him, and the delivery of the line is subtly but noticeably different and more guarded. similarly, if you poke a little too much fun at him by calling him old and draw too much attention to his mole, he gets very flustered and ends the conversation immediately. understandable, since he's relied on his appearance for so long, and hearing (even jokingly) that even that might not be something he can use anymore must be at least a little terrifying for him.

so naturally, you might think that by being truthful with him would perhaps net you a better result -- after all, you're telling him what he asked for, what you really see, that you see him as more than just someone to lust after -- but it doesn't. he actually seems a little upset if you choose those dialogue options. in that moment, he wants to know that you find him attractive, because he thinks that's all he's good for. because if you find him attractive, there's a chance that he could seduce you and use you for protection against cazador. i do think he also genuinely wants to know that there's so much more to him than just a pretty face, since that's a big theme of his entire story/romance arc, but that's not at the top of his priority list this early in the game. he's relying purely on instinct. he knows how to respond to people telling him he's attractive. accepting genuine compliments about the person beneath the mask? that's probably not something he's had much (if any) experience with in close to two centuries. he didn't have the luxury of being able to let anyone see who he really was.

all that to say that this interaction is really heartbreaking. he wants to be seen, wants to be understood and possibly loved, but at the same time he still thinks he needs to put on a front to ensure he can keep himself safe. watching him slowly start to unlearn those habits during the course of the game has been one of my favorite things about bg3 and a huge part of what's really endeared astarion to me as a character.

[anya-nya-nya]

Sub! Aventurine

It's not a fic or even hc but more like synopsis of my thoughts about him being submissive in bed.

NSFW themes but without detailed description of intimacy so GN! reader, mention of Aventurine’s past > mention of SA and slavery

Aventurine doesn't mind passing control to you during bed time, even if it's only the start of your relationship. In this case, his usual frolicsome behavior would turn him into a spoiled brat who demands more pampering and attention. So there couldn't be found any embarrassment in his responsive touches or moans: actually, Aventurine would prefer to unleash his voice and let you know loud and clear how much he enjoys your actions.

At this point it's more like a game of who will take the lead, as even in the bottom role he continues to be pretty active and lead you, if not command, on how to properly serve him: both with his disobedience and brash comments. So if you would decide to punish him or just be a little rough, he would take the spice and also enjoy this.

It's actually even surprising how open Aventurine is to try new experiences, but the answer to his nonchalant behavior is pretty simple: he doesn't just trust you enough.

One of the main Aventurine’s traits is to always attract attention to his persona and show off in front of a crowd both by his showy appearance and easygoing, smug maneuvers. The facade he built needs to attract more people, so no one would try and dig into his bosom. And yes, this rule would apply to you too, at least in the first few steps of your relationship, where Aventurine is still considering this like some game. And he's still musing about taking the risk and letting you actually step close enough to notice what hides in shadow behind his mask of dapper gambler.

When this stage would pass, you would be introduced to his real self - and I'm pretty sure that deep inside Aventurine’s heart he's still partly being Kakavasha. There probably would be a moment where he would regret doing this and play it off like some old story that doesn't disturb his sleep anymore, but if you manage to show enough patience with his attempts to toss away his traumas, his behavior would change drastically. The usual loudness of his voice would be softened up, as he tried to relax completely for the first time in a long while.

It probably would take a while: not because he doesn't want to, but because thought about being absolutely vulnerable and dependable in front of even one person is still responded with a cold knot in his stomach. Last time he was this weak was during his slave days, so there's more work that needs to be done for him to not be afraid of ACTUALLY passing control to you.

And now there is where all his timidity arises, the almost innocent embarrassment of a virgin,

as now you wouldn't be able to drag even a full sentence from Aventurine: all his remarks lost all the usual acuity. It's like he not only opened his soul, but also exposed a new body that is much more sensitive to any touches and praises - his lips would probably be swollen and red even without your kisses after his attempt to muffle every whimper.

Would prefer something slow and gentle, of course, with doubled praise kink as Aventurine NEEDS to hear how good and beautiful he is, and that you love him even in a defenseless state, so love bombing would also work. In reverse, cold or silent treatment would break his heart or even scare him off, reminiscent of what he usually got when his last owner wanted to use him in bed.

He needs to learn that there's a good and pleasing side in being under someone's power, so he hopes his bet on you being a good teacher will lead him in the right way.

P.S: Also thinking about him not undressing fully in the start, where he's playing the role of powerful bottom. Would let pull his pants to get the work done, but if you want to caress his body then only through some clothes, usually thin but strong fabric, not something transparent. (more detailed post)

And in the second part, where he's trusting you, he slowly would take more and more clothes off and show you the scars of his past. Would be insecure about them, considering every bruise as a mark of his weakness, so all lewd commentaries about this are prohibited. Double points if you would be gentle about it or even kiss a few of his scars during slow gentle sex.

[summerwasjuly]

— i know no one asked for this, but im gonna do it anyway,,LIKE i love-hate achilles. he's literally the perfect character, flawed in a seriously compelling way. i'm not a deep reader of greek mythology, especially the trojan war (i'm planning to be), and i've only read three or four books, i think. when i first read the song of achilles, i initially loved them both, but when i read the iliad, their characters were a great contrast. he was NOT what i expected. patroclus wasn't a trustworthy narrator, though that makes sense because achilles was narrated by his lover, so it would make sense for patroclus to see achilles' good qualities but not his flaws.now, back to achilles: i love-hate this character because...no way. he's literally hated by half – i mean, all – of the greek mythology enthusiasts. 😪👎 but from my perspective, he's supposed to be that way. i think they're just afraid to see a character depicted as a human being is, humans are vile, ruthless, and awful, but also capable of kindness and love. what i love about achilles is that he's depicted as a monster, a beast, death incarnate on the field, but the only human thing about him is patroclus. it shows perfectly how a human can be: no matter how terrible a person you are, there's always a weakness within you. now, back to patroclus and achilles' relationship: honestly, wow. they weren't perfect; their relationship was toxic but also romantic??? i vaguely remember book 18 or 19 of the iliad (not sure). achilles calls patroclus names, but there's a dialogue where he compares patroclus to a young girl in distress, crying for her mother, waiting to be cradled, when patroclus was just worried for him. then, two or three books later, he's literally weeping for patroclus, cradling his DEAD corpse???? achilles' rage at hector for patroclus' death wasn't simply fueled by love, though that certainly played a part. a deeper understanding reveals a potent sense of responsibility. patroclus was more than a lover; he was the one person who truly accepted achilles, flaws and all. this acceptance was crucial to achilles' self-worth, making patroclus' death a profound betrayal of that trust and a shattering of achilles' already fragile sense of self. the loss wasn't just romantic; it was the severing of the only genuine connection achilles had, leaving him vulnerable and alone. his rage, therefore, was a ferocious reaction to this profound loss and the realization of his own vulnerability, a vulnerability he fiercely guarded and desperately tried to hide behind his monstrous persona. achilles could live a thousand lives and never deserve that boy. seriously, i love them so much! it's not even funny i'm super fixated on them, especially neoptolemus, achilles' son. guys, i love them so much 😭😭🙁 also regarding on the neomachus fic im doing, I SWEAR IM STILL GONNA DO IT, its just that i am actually so busy on school right now, and we still have recognition (and i was kinda in it too because you know, honor thingy) but i think, yeah, im sure i can post the first chapter on maybe wednesday or tuesday.. i just dont where tho, cuz i havent got my account on ao3 yet, it is so damn long to wait..! AND i still dont know what to name the fic because i actually never written a fanfic story before, oneshots maybe but not a whole damn story.. hehe thank you chat 🦚🦚

[aspoonofsugar]

Hi! Where do you think Alastor's arc is going? Redemption or villainy?

Hi!

Thank you for the ask, I loved watching Hazbin Hotel and I am happy I can write for the series :)

As for now, I think Alastor will spiral and hurt Charlie very badly, but he will eventually redeem himself (probably in a key moment). That is because Alastor is framed as Charlie's Jungian shadow.

What is the Jungian Shadow?

According to Jung, the shadow is what a person represses, both positive and negative. So, it can be one's violent tendencies, but also one's potential and energy. It really depends on the person.

So, why does Alastor fit the Shadow Archetype? Well, first of all:

Alastor's powers make use of shadows. Not only that, but Alastor's own shadow is very expressive and shows the demon's repressed feelings. In other words:

On the one hand Alastor embodies the shadow, in the sense he represents what Charlie refuses to face

On the other hand Alastor himself represses his emotions behind a smiling face:

Alastor: Just because you see a smile, don't think you know what is going on underneath. A smile is a valuable tool, my dear. It inspires your friends, keeps your enemies guessing and ensures tha no matter what comes your way, you're the one in control.

This is a good characterization for a jungian shadow because the shadow grows stronger and more dangerous, when it's ignored. So, the most one refuses to face their feelings, the most these feelings fester and grow powerful and dangerous. This fits Alastor both when it comes to others and to his own character:

He takes advantage of an emotional unstable and vulnerable Charlie to strike an abimguous deal with her. Similarly, he uses Husk's gambling addiction to steal his soul. He uses people's weaknesses an unsolved problems to take over.

He suffocates his feelings, which symbolically manifest in his powerful shadow-tentacles. His design and abilities are representative of his psychological coping mechanism, which is nothing, but repression.

As written above, though, the Jungian Shadow can be both negative and positive depending on what one hides. This duality is shown in Alastor's two roles in Charlie's arc:

He is a demonic archetype (even moreso than Lucifer, the titular devil), as he waits in the shadows for a chance to manipulate Charlie

He is an evil mentor, as he genuinelly likes Charlie, sees her potential and wants to guide her towards greatness:

She's filled with potential that I could guide

This isn't a contradiction, but complexity. Alastor is chaotic and mixes negative traits and intentions with positive ones. Just like what people repress can be both bad and good, usually at the same time.

This is clear when it comes to the Princess of Hell:

Charlie to Alastor: What's that you said about smiles?

Charlie is similar to Alastor in how she represses herself behind her pollyanna persona and her smile. This doesn't mean she is faking her altruism and generosity, but that she is using these traits to hide something else:

Lute: The only reason you're still here is that Daddy gave you and your Hellborn-kind a pardon from an exorcist's blade. How does that feel? To know how little you matter.

Deep down, Charlie invests herself in the Hazbin Hotel project because she wants to matter. She feels powerless and unimportant, as a result of her parents' neglects and of Hell's difficult situation.

So, our protagonist has strong self-issues that she refuses to face:

Husk: Princess is a bleedy heart who wants to solve everybod else's problems, 'cept her own.

That said, this isn't the only thing Charlie represses. The Princess of Hell hides:

Every negative emotions she feels, like her self-hate or her anger at Vaggie for hiding her true identity:

Rosie: How does that make you feel? Charlie: Just... angry? Because we share everything! Because she always supported me, and my ideas, and now I don't know whether or not that was just more of the lies... Oh no, that's a horrible thing to think! Do I think that? Yes! No? Kinda?

Her most violent and aggressive side, which makes so she is unable to make full use of her powers:

Vaggie: Well, I mean... You're the princess of Hell, but you don't really use the power that comes with that. Mybe you can, I don't know? Command a little more... authority. Charlie: But that's so mean.

In short, by repressing her negative feelings, she also represses her potential. It is only by facing herself as a whole, that she can fully grow and bloom into her most powerful and complete self:

This is made clear in Charlie's quest in Cannibal Town. There, our girl is at her lowest, but she is pushing herself forward for the sake of her loved ones. She is trying to imitate Alastor by smiling, even if she is sour inside. However, things do not go well and it is only through her heart to heart chat with Rosie, that Charlie is able to pull herself together and inspire her people. Symbolically, she gets through them not with a 100% optimistic song like "Inside of every demon is a rainbow". Rather she opens her speech, by showing vulnerability and honesty:

It's a feeling like a rumbling in your gut That you could finally be faced with A billion needy faces I guess what I mean to say is For the first time in my life I might have to be ready for this Ready to be the one who's leading from the front Gotta come into my own Gotta come into my throne Gotta take charge and defend my only home And although I kinda feel unsteady Now I need to be ready for this

She affirms who she is and her willingness to grow into herself:

For the first time in my life Maybe I can be ready for this I can be the marshal leading the parade I can come into my own And I think I've always known My destiny could never be postponed When Adam brings the battle here I must appear like I'm ready for this

So, it is only by tapping into her own shadow that Charlie can be successfull. It is through expression and not repression that she can reach her goals.

What about Alastor?

He is the same, but so far he has been refusing to open up to others:

Angel: He's been here a while and he's still a big, creepy mystery.

That said, his time at the Hazbin Hotel has had an impact on him. He is forced to deal with others without killing them:

Vaggie: Pentious's eggs are all over the place. I need you to get rid of them. (...) Humanely!

He is shown cutting ties with a poisonous friend:

He openly admits he likes the people of the hotel:

Alastor: Ah, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed.

However, he still refuses to openly show vulnerability and ends up like this:

Let's highlight that Charlie and Alastor are foiled in The Show Must Go On song.

Both stand in the ruins of their homes/dreams.

The Hotel:

I took a hotel, and I destroyed it I know I could have done better Better, instead of letting you down

The Radio Station:

This place reeks of death There's a chill in the air And I barely escaped being killed by a hair

And both decide not to give up and to keep pursuing their objectives. However, Charlie is framed positively, while Alastor negatively. Why?

Charlie sings about her feelings openly and is supported by her father and found family:

Alastor sings about his pain privately and even then he barely shows his desperation before going back to his villanious mask:

Symbolically the moment Alastor reunites with the Hotel Crew, he sings:

And we're doing it with a smile!

He is back in control of himself, ready to hide everything behind his neverchanging smile.

So, Alastor is both Charlie's negative foil and Jungian Shadow. As her negative foil, he is bound to spiral. As her Jungian Shadow he is bound to be saved. Why is that so? Two reasons.

The Jungian Shadow can't be killed, but needs to be integrated with.

The main themes of the series are redemption and love, so it is improbable that Charlie won't help the person, who co-founded the hotel with her.

If anything, it seems that our princess is progressively asked to forgive, inspire and see the good in more and more complex cases.

It starts with Angel, who willingly stays at the Hotel. It goes on with Pentious, who infiltrates the Hotel, but makes no real damage. Then Lucifer, whom Charlie loves, but that has been absent from the majority of her life. Finally, Vaggie, who breaks Charlie's trust.

Each conflict Charlie has challenges her in a different way and helps her discover herself and grow. She is bound to meet new struggles when Lilith becomes a broken pedestal and finally when Alastor betrays or hurts her. Still, she is going to forgive and to understand them.

Charlie is going to see the good in Alastor and to better understand herself as a result. As a matter of fact Charlie's journey is one where she is slowly discovering a world, which isn't black and white:

If Hell is forever, then Heaven must be a lie If angels can do whatever, and remain in the sky The rules are shades of gray when you don't do as you say When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again

Just like people aren't black and white. Just like she herself isn't black and white. By saving Alastor, she is gonna save herself too. Together with the whole universe.

And what about Alastor? Well, he needs to work on himself, as well. He too must integrate with his shadow, who is embodied by a certain character:

Husk is a powerful overlord, who lost his soul to a demon. Just like Alastor:

Husk: Big talk for someone, who's also on a leash.

Alastor and Husk are both on a leash. Still, Husk admits it and starts working on his shortcoming:

Husk: You're a loser, just like me

Alastor instead affirms his willingness to be in control and to pull the strings:

Once I figure out how to unclip my wings Guess who will be pulling all the strings?

Alastor is a loser, just like Husk. Just like all the characters in hell. Sinners vs Winners. And yet, he refuses to admit it. This is why he makes no progress. Similarly, he wants freedom, but enslaves others. This isn't going to work out, which is why I am fairly certain he will eventually set Husk free. Probably by doing so, Alastor will make the first real step towards his own freedom. He will start integrating his own shadow.

Thank you for the ask!

[shall-we-die]

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{Mask}

Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻☂️༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Yandere behaviors}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0088}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Absolutely. Lucifer puts up a perfect, charming act around his brothers. A strong, calm and composed persona- the kind you’d expect from the head of the family. But once around you, he’s very different. In a way, he’s almost feral- letting his possessive, controlling and obsessive tendencies go completely unbridled. He loses all his calmness- unable to stop himself from being extremely forward and intimate with you.

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↬|Mammon|

Mammon’s public persona would be totally different from his true self. He would put on a friendly, carefree act in public, behaving like a friendly and somewhat goofy guy. But behind closed doors, he would be far different. His true colors would be aggressive, possessive, and very controlling. He would be quick to anger and quick to lash out if he didn’t get his way. He would use emotional and physical manipulation to get what he wanted, and would do anything to keep MC under his control.

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↬|Leviathan|

While Levi presents as a timid and shy otaku to others, as a yandere, his true colors would show a much more dark possessive side. he would still maintain some of his otaku mannerisms, but he would become much more manipulative, obsessive and controlling in his behavior towards MC. he would likely put on a facade of being a "kind and understanding" partner in public, but in private, he would show his true colors, treating MC with a mixture of affection, control, and even cruelty.

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↬|Satan|

Satan's true colors would be drastically different from the way he acts around everyone else. He would likely present a charming, friendly, and trustworthy facade to the outside world, while secretly having sinister intentions towards MC. He would be careful to hide his possessive and controlling nature, only revealing it to MC when they are alone and vulnerable. He may also use his social skills to manipulate and deceive others into thinking he is a good person, concealing his true nature and intentions.

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↬|Asmondeus|

Asmodeus is known for being charming, flirtatious, and friendly around other people, he can be quite the opposite behind closed doors. Around others, he keeps up a suave and playful demeanor, but in private, he can be much more possessive and controlling towards MC, showing his true, darker side. He doesn't want anyone else to know about his obsessive and yandere behavior towards MC, so he keeps it hidden from everyone else.

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↬|Beelzebub|

Beelzebub would likely have a significant difference in how he acts around MC compared to how he acts around everyone else. Around others, he might present a more charming and charismatic front, playing the role of a friendly and polite person, while inside he may be plotting and scheming, planning how to keep MC completely under his control. Around MC, he will likely drop the facade, revealing his possessive, jealous, and controlling tendencies.

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↬|Belphegor|

Yes, very different. When he's with everyone else, he's confident, cheeky, arrogant, with a smug smile nearly permanently on his face, and all he does is tease and annoy his brothers all the time. But in private? When he's alone with *you* and no one else is around? He'll be a whole other person. He'll be softer, more relaxed, more gentle, and more clingy. He'll become more possessive and dominating, especially when you're alone together.

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↬|Diavolo|

Diavolo's true colors would be drastically different from the way he acts around everyone else. He would appear charming and charismatic in public, effortlessly disguising his obsessive and possessive tendencies. But in private, especially with MC, he would switch to a much darker and more dangerous persona, revealing his true nature of being possessive, jealous, and controlling, to the point of stalking and even violence.

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↬|Barbatos|

Barbatos is generally known for his polite and calm demeanor. He is respected and well-liked by most due to his excellent service and loyal personality. However, when it comes to you, his true colors are drastically different. He becomes a possessive, manipulative, and controlling yandere who only cares about his own wants and desires.

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↬|Simeon|

In public or around other people, he may act charming, polite, and even friendly. He may even try to be helpful and supportive. But beneath that facade, his true nature as a yandere is dark, possessive, and manipulative. He secretly has a twisted obsession and desire to control mc at all costs.

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↬|Solomon|

Solomon's true colors would be drastically different from how he acts around everyone else. In public or when around others, he would likely act calm, confident, and charming, making friends easily and putting on a friendly facade. However, when alone with the object of his obsession (MC), he would likely drop this mask and reveal his true, darker personality. He would become obsessive, possessive, and potentially dangerous, with a one-track mind of having MC all to himself, no matter what the cost.

||[🄼istakes]||

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⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄻ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄽▷ㅤㅤ↻

[consoledacup]

There is a hell of a lot to say about mirrors. Aside from Colin and Penelope's perfect love story, I love how their romance is completely intertwined with identity.

Mirrors are everywhere this season. Penelope's staring at herself with Genevieve behind her, outwardly prioritizing her career over love. And her transformation is only skin deep and smartly subverted at the ball.

Varley is encouraging Penelope's new look, saying, "the looking glass does not lie." Such a sweet thing to say! But she says it during the Whistledown voice over. So the looking glass doesn't lie, but Penelope sure does. And at the end of the episode, after that captivating gossip scene at the Osterley Ball, Penelope simply reflects what the rest of the ton is saying in Whistledown.

Colin's brief reflection in the mirror behind Penelope at Stowell House highlights how he is never far from her thoughts.

Love the little moment Colin has with Violet where she comes to see him in the study, and he leans into the light when she brings up friendship and love, and you see his reflection behind her. The mirror play in the Fuller Library was so great. The thin persona Colin is projecting to the toxic lord squad is so not reflective of who is actually in his heart. And I really love Penelope's resigned little vanity mirror shot, readying herself for Debling's proposal and convincing herself she has no need for love.

The mirror intimacy scene is the sexiest, rawest, most revealing, most tender love scene I've ever seen. I personally think that the vulnerability of the mirror scene alone makes this season the most intimate it's ever been. I love that it starts with the mirror. I love that the mirror was all over in promos and was the third character in the teaser trailer. I love that the song that plays is "p.o.v."

And then we have the parallel of Genevieve behind Penelope in front of the mirror once more, this time with Penelope surrendering her career for love.

What makes the mirror intimacy scene so well-written and angsty is Colin believing that they were completely baring themselves to one another in that moment, mind, body, and soul. And while Penelope had found no other moment with him more special, she was still holding back parts of herself. And that is why it is so heartbreaking when Colin tells her the reason they'll still marry is because they were intimate. He's struggling to get the words out, as he reflects on their time together. He feels betrayed. He was honest with her inside and out, and she wasn't. And once again, Genevieve is an incredible support when she reminds Penelope that true love comes from loving each other, and themselves, fully.

When we see Colin battling with himself after admitting defeat to Penelope's team, there is a brief shot of him in the mirror as he openly lusts after his wife, frozen in conflict. And Penelope's reflection is shown as she's made the firm decision to unmask Whistledown, leading to the public reveal of her identity.

These characters are not just stepping into the light this season, but they're also forced to confront their own reflections. And as they examine all aspects of themselves, even the parts they used to hide from, they can't help but fall that much more deeply in love with each other. It really is such a beautiful message!

[anthemofgvf]

Groupie Love: Jake Kiszka x Reader Fanfiction

"you're in the bar, playing guitar, i'm trying not to let the crowd next to me. it's so hard sometimes with a star, when you have to share him with everybody." description: being jake’s groupie was heaven on earth, yet sinful in every desirable way. while the world reveled in his public, entrancing persona, you reveled in the boundaries of reality and fantasy intertwining in secrecy.

word count: 6.9k+

trope: groupie! reader x jake

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warnings after cut…

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

warnings: good amount of plot, mentions of drinking, alcohol, smut (18+ minors dni), swearing, unprotected sex, hardcore dom! jake, choking, spitting, praise/begging/degrading kink, rough sex, spanking, fingering, oral (male and fem! receiving), bit of fluff, some aftercare

disclaimer: this does not follow the real events of the starcatcher tour for the sake of the plot. thanks!

a/n: would also like to mention that yes, this IS based off of the Lana Del Rey song with the same title. As soon as I heard it, I immediately thought of Jake and writing a fic based off of it. If you haven't listened to the song, now is the perfect time to do so! hope you all enjoy :) <3

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

There was something so addictive about secrecy. To share such vulnerability with someone where no one's eyes could witness, but only you and another alone. To know each other by touch alone if every sense was stripped away, yet hiding the true reason why you could pick them apart in a crowd from that feeling. And while you two were friends with one another publicly, behind closed doors, you were both fucking like animals. There was no better way to describe your relationship with Jake. You were just one of his secrets, hidden in a closet, and you had accepted that.

You had met him after one of Greta Van Fleet's shows when their careers were just about to skyrocket and thank God you were able to catch him then. You hadn't really listened to their music before or even heard of them, but local concerts under 30 bucks as a fun night out with friends was always on the table. If it weren't for their small fanbase and lack of fame, you were positive you wouldn't have become Jake's personal groupie.

After hooking up with him in the venue's bathroom, twice, Jake simply couldn't have enough of you. And you, you were entranced by him and his sexual drive. You both also enjoyed each other's company in the short period of time you knew one another, so, you and he exchanged numbers and kept in contact. Whenever he was in town, you'd be next to him, and when he was gone, you were with someone else. More often than not, you two were spending time with one another purely for sex, but it was rare for you to leave immediately after. After all, Jake cared about you regardless of the label of your relationship with him, and you were enjoyable to be around.

There was no discussion of monogamy, so it was mutually decided that seeing other people was no issue. Sure, no one compared to the guitarist, but there was always someone to run down your time in the day when boredom struck, and you were unable to be at Jake's beckoning call. Even though Jake would always call you his, it was words that withheld no meaning. Only in moments where you and Jake were together alone did they obtain meaning, but you knew never to take him seriously.

Jealousy is a bitch, though, and it possessed you. It rotted you to your unchaste core. You could easily pretend it didn't bother you that other girls have had Jake the way you have or have even looked at him in that manner. Of course, you'd be lying to yourself if you said there wasn't a single sliver of selfishness towards him. How many girls Jake had been with next to you was a mysterious number, but you didn't choose to spend your time thinking about how many girls he's said the same things to as you. But, rather, feel empowered that there were fans in their crowds at shows that desperately wanted your place. Fans that screamed his name, made signs and t-shirts for him, dreamed of being more than just a fan in the crowd. That was something you had over them. That's what made you special. That's what gave you your title of a so-called 'groupie'.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

They had closed their most recent tour with a show in Nashville, and of course you were in attendance. Jake had even asked if you'd be there, knowing well enough that there was no way in hell you'd be skipping out on it, because you knew where the night would take you. Besides, you hadn't seen him in months. You hadn't been with him in months. You had grown a sense of longing for him after a short period of time away from the guitarist.

Before Greta Van Fleet had a larger fanbase, you were able to sit in the seats and get escorted backstage to Jake so you could watch as a fan. But, due to suspicious speculation amongst fans, and you and Jake wanting to continue the secrecy and keep the reputation of "just friends," you were granted a backstage pass and allowed to come into the arena or venue they'd be performing at before fans would arrive. Every place was different, so the execution of reaching him was always tweaked, but no matter what, you and him both knew you'd see one another after the show. You preferred to hang in the sound booth rather than backstage, anyways.

Rarely did you come early to be in attendance for soundcheck. Sure, there would be absolutely nothing wrong with it, but you always enjoyed watching him look for you amongst the fans, and his eyes light up in the slightest that had your heart stopping only for a second at the sign of recognition, feeling as though your breath had been taken from you and forcing your body to freeze. It never got old feeling his eyes latch onto you.

And you never got tired of watching him perform on stage. Now, with the new introduction of 'Mirador,' you got to watch him nearly twice as long. And, God, you never knew he could sing that well. That certainly was a turn on for you. Now your mind was wandering off to the thought of him singing in your ear.

You rarely tore your eyes from him while he was on stage, and he knew that he was hypnotic. He liked knowing that there were people who only cared to watch him and come to Greta Van Fleet's shows to be in his presence. Thrusting into his guitar as he spoke to himself and the crowd, hairs sticking to his cheeks with the accumulated sweat and still breathlessly giving his performance his all. You kept your eyes locked on his stomach and watched as the sweat beads dripped down his tender skin, and his hair whipping around and throwing his head back as he skillfully played on his instrument, exposing his Adam's apple to the fans that kept their eyes glued on his every move while he struck the next few chords of the song. You'd always convince yourself while swinging to the music that he was performing more theatrically for you, but you'd never been proven right nor wrong yet. He was entrancing to watch, and sometimes you found it unfathomable that you were a person in his life. A person who knew things that most didn't, a person who saw things most people didn't.

Your adrenaline always arose as soon as the four boys left the stage, and the lights illuminated the venue. Hearing different conversations from a multitude of fans that surrounded you, shuffling of feet and complaints of exhaustion. But there you were, hanging out in the sound booth waiting for security to come to your aid to escort you to backstage.

You wore a silver halter top that accentuated your chest, with a pair of velvet-blue flared leggings and converse. Thankfully, your shoes weren't shown due to the coverage of your pants, and it truly did not matter what clothes were on your body. They would be thrown on some floor in less than an hour, and that's all you cared about.

Eventually two men from Greta Van Fleet's team made their way to you once the venue was near empty from fans and began leading you backstage to the green room. You always loved that feeling in the pit of your stomach; it excitingly tumbled and twisted with each step closer you were to him. The awkward silence never faltered while the security guards guided you to backstage, but that gave you enough time to collect yourself before seeing Jake.

Your eyes were first met with Sam cracking open a beer, chatting with his girlfriend and keeping to themselves. When they saw you, they smiled without a word, and allowed you to keep moving. While you and Jake became "friends" the more you two saw each other, you had been brought around the band from time to time. More likely than not, it was for some sort of party, large gathering, or simply catching the boys after the show - uncommonly anything intimate. They knew what your purpose was, but they never questioned you. Either they simply didn't care, or they didn't want to ask questions they did not want answers to.

Danny was nowhere to be found, most likely in his dressing room, but the twins were walking into the green room, laughter erupting from Josh as he cracked his large, infamous smile that put his perfect teeth on display. His presence always soothed you when eyes seemed to be peering down your neck from your presence. Both were still in their stage attire, which was usual when you'd come so soon after the show had ended.

Josh had noticed you first, closing his mouth to a smirk that raised with the right corner of lips and pierced his cheek to reveal his dimple. Once Jake laid his eyes upon you, they were already following down your body, finally greeting you with a crack of a smile that told you his mind was already somewhere else.

"Y/n! It's so good to see you again," Josh greeted you with a tight hug, "nice seeing your face after so long." He patted your back and pulled away with a grin still plastered on his face.

"It has been long enough," you huffed a laugh. "Tour was good?" You flicked your eyes to Jake.

He gave you a slow, steady nod. "Was great. I'm sure you'd love to hear all about it, huh?"

"I wouldn't want anything else." You huffed a laugh, sticking your tongue in your cheek at his light sarcasm.

"I expect you'll be sticking around to celebrate the end of Starcatcher with us?" Josh said as he began to walk away. You followed his movements with your eyes as he walked over to a small fridge, turning to Jake who gave you a blank stare. Josh wasn't hinting at your intentions with Jake, but rather what would occur after-the-fact. He shrugged at you suggestively, but you couldn't depict what his choice was.

You chose to be safe. "We'll see, Josh," you directed your attention to him for a moment, "if I don't, I'll be sure to say goodbye to you before I head home."

He sauntered over to you with a beer in hand and patted your back with a soft smile. "Always a pleasure, y/n."

Leaving you and his twin alone, Jake ran his hand to your side and found the small of your back, pressing light enough to signal movement forward and follow him to his dressing room. You dared to look at him, to examine the light sheen of sweat that resided on his forehead that he forgot to wipe away once he exited the stage. And you knew he could feel your eyes lingering upon him, but he liked to be looked at. He liked the attention.

His dressing room door was already open, welcoming your entrance and waiting for your arrival. You eagerly stepped into the neatly decorated room and scanned the area for familiar artifacts of his scattered about: sunglasses, bracelets, necklaces, and his attire to be thrown on after his stage wear was stripped from his body.

He turned his back to you quickly and closed the door, locking it swiftly behind him. And once he turned around, he was wearing a softly cracked smile. It was always so intimidatingly perfect, how his eyes rested into a look that only told you that he was going to devour you.

"Barely said a word to me since I've arrived," you said innocently with your hands behind your back, "what's with the shyness, Jake?" You began to slip off your shoes as his eyes faltered from your own to do the same.

He took slow steps towards you to increase the intensity of your heartbeat in anticipation. He knew you craved the taste of his lips, the feeling of his hands on your figure. He always remembered what made your heart bang against your chest and your face flush into a pink hue.

His index finger cradled your jaw as he focused your eyes on him intently. "Was it so wrong of me to want a more private 'welcome home' from you?" His voice was coarse with the words slipping off his tongue smoothly like butter. Close to a whisper - the tone of intimacy.

You flicked your eyes to his coy smirk, then back to his dark brown eyes that peered at you so attentively. He was always so patient in these moments for an answer back.

"All this is, is private. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the gesture, though." You wrapped your arms around his neck after motioning your pointer finger back and forth between the two of you, and in return, he pulled you into his chest and squeezed you against his body tightly.

And there he was, breathing softly down the side of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent, and feeling the figure and warmth of your body in an embrace. You buried your face into the crook of his neck that you made room for with your arm to feel the skin that rested there to remember how it feels to be so close to Jake once again.

"You're a good singer, Jake," you said lowly into his ear, "better than I had expected."

You felt him chuckle against you, but his laughter came out in small breaths. He was amused by your playful banter and humbling words that he knew were harmless.

He unwrapped himself from you but kept the close proximity between the both of you. His tongue darted out and ran across the middle of his bottom lip, cracking a coy grin as he looked down at you with half-hooded eyes. He was effortlessly seductive.

"You're lucky I like you, y/n." His hand raised to the side of your face as he slowly began to caress it, watching the motions of his fingers as they began from your temple and journeyed to your jaw. "Because if I hadn't known better, I'd think you were disrespecting me." He gave you a playful, lazy glare.

You gave him a small smile, allowing your fingers to focus on toying with the silver jewelry that hung dangerously low on his exposed skin.

"Well, you and I both know that you love to play that game." You said softly to yourself. Loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough to showcase your lack of desire for a response.

You took the opportunity to run your hands onto his chest, letting them reach to the waistband of his trousers, and looking to him innocently with a smile. And he smiled back at you softly, waiting patiently for you to be finished reveling in his presence and this moment.

You placed your hands onto his neck, thumbing at the skin and looking at him for direction, for initiation. So, he cupped your jaw and placed a gentle, longing kiss onto your lips. You practically melted into his mouth and encouraged his tongue to begin roaming around the inside of your mouth as you began to dance your own in his. The kiss grew deeper quickly, and you both remembered the addictive taste of each other. The swift routine of throwing each other clothes began, where you're tugging down Jake's pants to leave him in his boxers, and he's tossing off his cropped, black jacket to land onto the ground.

Your hands traveled into his damp hair and tugged him deeper into your lips as his fingers played at the waistband of your leggings. The muscles at your stomach began to tense up at the sensation of the pads of his fingers toying at the idea of diving down into your underwear and satisfying you.

His mouth pulled from yours for a moment to throw off your top, which you assisted him in doing, and allowed it to fall wherever it landed. As soon as he got the sight of your bare breasts, he encapsulated his mouth onto yours, and massaged one in his hand, while the other hand held its place at your waist.

You snaked your hands in between your glued bodies and cupped his hard cock with a light squeeze, eliciting a deep, rumbling groan from his throat and into your mouth.

"God, how I've missed you." He said into your mouth, tugging at your bottom lip. His lips began to travel to your neck, pressing rough, sloppy kisses onto the skin. You contemplated telling him how much you missed him, but you knew that he knew you did - you were like putty under his touch.

Your head titled back to allow Jake more access to your neck. One of his hands ditched your body and tugged at your hair to gain dominance, keeping your neck bent back as far as possible so he could taste your skin. His other hand traveled to the small of your back to keep you on your feet, and you swore you would've fallen to your knees if it weren't for Jake holding you up. With your eyes shut, you tuned into the feeling of his wet tongue trailing its way up your neck and to your jaw, then suckling down to your collarbone. His mouth always felt like a beautiful curse against your skin, while compelling, still so unbelievably relieving.

Your hands stuck onto his hair, tugging and pulling as his lips trapped your right nipple in his mouth. His tongue swirled circles around it, with his index and thumb massaging the other with the movements. Soft moans escaped your mouth, but you were sure to monitor any sound out of you.

His eyes peered up at you as he removed his mouth from your body and grabbed your face with his hands clasped at your jaw.

"Pants off, now." He instructed lowly, and while you slipped off your underwear with your velvet flares, he was throwing off his boxers and revealing his throbbing cock. You could hardly focus on anything other than him inside of you at this moment, with your head dizzy at the thought of his length filling you up to the hilt.

He never got sick of the sight of you naked, running his hands down your waist and to your hips while a deep sigh escaped his mouth. You watched his eyes focus in on your clit, with his thumb dancing around the area and causing your knees to grow weaker and weaker. Your hips bucked forward, and your motion only caused a light snicker to come from his mouth.

"Get on your fucking knees." He demanded as he pushed you down by your shoulder, although you were quick to follow his instructions and obey.

His length rested onto your left check, and his hand reached down to lift your chin to look up to him. He loved how submissive you looked before him. The way your eyes lit up to the sight of him bare in front of you, along with his devilish grin that captivated you.

He held your eyes with his own. "Good to know you're still such a good girl for me." That sentence had sent a shiver down your spine, with how intimidatingly dominant Jake was. There was something about his small, cracked smile, and the light squint in his eyes that always had you feeling shy and overexposed. Yet, you were always so comfortable being vulnerable around him.

He tapped at your jaw, which signaled for your mouth to open, and you allowed his thumb to travel onto your tongue, sliding the finger out and dragging your bottom lip down with the motion. You slid your hands over his thighs, kissing the head of his cock and slicing your tongue onto it. He groaned at the sensation and landed his hand on the back of your head in preparation.

And you grabbed his length, wrapping your lips around it and beginning to bob your head up and down at a slow pace. You took all of him for a moment to elicit a harsh groan - a response you craved hearing from Jake and pulled off his cock to purse your lips and spit onto his tip with your hand aiding you in coating him.

You immediately resumed bobbing your head up and down, while your hand at the base of him began working slowly with a twist of your wrist. He deeply sighed, looking down at you to see his cock disappear into your mouth. You were irresistible to him with the way you took him into your mouth so effortlessly.

"Fuck, just like that, y/n." He winced lightly as your tongue swirled around his tip. His mouth was slightly hung open as he admired the view of you below him. Hearing your name had never sounded better coming from someone's mouth.

The unoccupied hand of his landed at the side of your face with his thumb caressing at your cheek. He was being gentler with you than usual, which could only mean he intended to be rougher with you later on. You didn't mind the lack of degrading, though. It was good to soothe into things after being away from him for so long.

His breathing was deep, and the muscles at his stomach were tensed up as you quickened the pace of your mouth and hand. Your other hand massaged his balls lightly, which evoked a deep sigh from him. Hushed slurs drew from his lips as you worked your way up and down him, spit dribbling down your chin. The back of your throat fought against taking his whole length, but as long as he felt good, you could care less about your own pleasure. You loved to feel as though you belonged to him and were the only one making him feel this good.

His head was thrown back, while the hand that tousled with your hair on the back of your head had a harsher grip. It was as if he was innocently guiding you, but really, it was to steady himself as he cautiously bucked his hips into your movements. Jake had his bottom lip tucked behind his teeth, fighting against his own release so quickly.

He grabbed your hair and held it back for you, tugging you off of his cock and raising you up to your knees by the pad of his index finger resting under your chin.

"Think you deserve something in return, huh?" He said as his hands relaxed from their places and found your waist. The rhetorical question had you pressing your thighs tightly together with a whine trapped behind your closed mouth.

He was slow with his hands, letting them fall down to your hips, then scooping you off of the ground whilst you wrapped your legs around his waist. He carried you over to the long table that sat before a mirror, setting you down and immediately forcing your legs open for him. He was quick to step in between your legs and place a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on your lips as his fingers traveled down your stomach and to your heat.

His right hand rested at the inner of your thigh, his thumb at your pubic bone and mere inches from your clit. He rested his forehead upon yours and listened intently to your unsteady, choked breaths, while he traced his index fingers and middle up and down your pussy agonizingly slow. Your back arched into him with a whine, closing your thighs together cautiously in hopes his fingers would caress you. But instead, he forced your thighs back open, and removed his forehead from yours with enough space to just barely see the entirety of your face.

"Don't. Fucking. Move. Be a good girl for me, yeah?" He glared at you, practically spitting in your face at your small movements in a silent plea to have him touch you. But you nodded vigorously. "If you want me to touch you, you're going to have to beg for it. Don't act like you have forgotten how this works."

The way he was looking at you was sending butterflies into the pit of your stomach, and it was nearly overwhelming to you how lust-filled his eyes were.

You threw your head back, sliding your right hand onto his bicep and sighing heavily with shut eyes. "Jake," you whined out, "please."

"Please what, y/n?" He urged you further. He loved playing this game.

You brought your head back up and looked at him in mere agony, desperately saying, "please touch me."

A devilish smirk twisted onto his lips as he flicked his eyes down to your pussy, leaning down and pursing his lips to allow spit to dribble from his mouth and onto your folds. As soon as the spit hit your pussy, he was gathering it onto middle and ring finger and locking his eyes onto yours. He captivated your attention just to mimic the way your mouth fell open as his fingers eased themselves into your entrance. He even repeated your deep exhales as his fingers curled inside of you and began to pump in and out of your entrance. You couldn't contain your moans and allowed them to fall out of your mouth while Jake admired your breathless state.

His calloused fingers added an extra layer of sensation to what you were feeling. He began kissing at your neck, humming onto the skin and trailing his mouth to your ear.

"Feel good, y/n?" He asked in a pitiful, mocking tone. He knew the answer, yet he wanted to hear you say it. Just another thing he did to control you and what you said.

"Yes, yes Jake." You moaned. "Please, don't stop."

He tugged at your earlobe and said, "so we do remember our manners, hm?" in a teasing tone.

Your hand reached for the back of his head as he continued to suck at your neck and travel down to your jugular. Your other hand was gripped tightly against the edge of the table to keep yourself upright while Jake meticulously drew every sound possible from you by his touch. His tongue flattened against the skin and slid its way up to your jaw. You never realized how deeply you missed Jake until you were finally with him.

You had your eyes shut with furrowed brows as you allowed your head to hang back. Every movement Jake made with his fingers, his mouth, his hand that found its way to your breast and massaged it - you were in euphoria. Only did he make you feel this good, and you made it known with your lack of words and preferred usage of pleasured sounds.

Then your eyes were shooting open and your fingers gripping harder at Jake's hair as you felt his tongue circle at your clit. You looked down at the sight, seeing him kneeled down before you as he devoured at your pussy. He hummed in satisfaction of the taste of you - sweet like honey, and your mouth hung open in an "O" shape, unable to utter a sound. Finally, an exaggerated groan rolled off of your tongue, and your head was able to be thrown back with your head fuzzy in ecstasy.

Your hand that rested at the back of his head landed back onto the table, clenching and unclenching, which Jake was quick to notice. His hand immediately found yours and folded his fingers into your own, giving you something to squeeze onto you. The small note of intimacy made you crack a small smile, but quickly allowing it to fade away as Jake grasped harshly onto your hip to keep you in place and reminding you where your focus should be.

He lapped at your folds as he kept a steady pace in and out of your pussy while your thighs squeezed tightly around his head. He switched between sucking at your clit and allowing his tongue to do all the work. You were grinding your hips to the motions of his tongue, and while normally you were ridiculed by him with a slap at your thigh, he allowed it after being away from one another so long.

You were clenching around his fingers, which elicited a pleased hum from him. He could tell you were close to your release, and that's exactly where he wanted you to be before stripping it away from you so suddenly. The tightened knot in the pit of your stomach completely dissolving, not unraveling, always had you whining in annoyance.

He flattened his tongue once more and dragged it up your pussy, then pushed himself up by slapping his hands on the tops of your thighs and levering himself that way.

You encapsulated your mouth onto his by bringing him with your hands harshly slapping against his face. He groaned into your lips with satisfaction, while you wrapped your hand around his length and began stroking it. At some points in moments like these, you felt like you just barely had some sort of dominance over Jake, and he was submitting to the pleasure you were granting him. He found it harder to kiss you back, resting his forehead against your own with eyes squeezed shut. As if anything you had asked him to do, he would without hesitation. And his face even showed how resistless he had become under your touch, contorting and softening with his eyebrows pulled in and mouth parted open.

You kept your eyes open to see the way his face shifted emotions, watching him grow restless with your position of being in charge. He wrapped his hand around your own and stopped your motions, looking down at his cock and focusing on lining himself up with your entrance. You quickly propped one of your legs up onto the table to allow easier access for him and impatiently waited. As spit dribbled down from his pursed lips and onto his cock, with a few more strokes, he was easing himself into you and resting his forehead onto your shoulder.

"Fuck, y/n," he drew out in a long breath as he was fully rested inside of you. He was slow pulling himself out, but quick to slam into you.

He raised his head off of your shoulder and met your eyes, seeing yours with the lids of them resting halfway, mouth opened in an 'O' shape with eyebrows softened. You made it known to him that you were all his - and always will be, but in this moment, you were whatever you needed him to be. Through your lust-filled brain you imprinted the memory of how perfect Jake feels inside of you, how he knows exactly where his fingers need to dance onto your skin, or where his hands should rest. He was wickedly talented at the art of pleasure, and he knew what made your body tick. He was in tune with your body, which he oh-so adored, and wasn't going to go anywhere until he felt satisfied enough.

You had one hand sprawled behind your back onto the table and the other on Jake's shoulder, throwing your head back as he slammed into you and rattled the items that lay astray on the tabletop. If anything were to fall, neither of you paid mind to it. What mattered was the sensations that ran throughout your entire being, your heartbeat increasing with every second, and your body accumulating a sweat that began at your hairline.

His breaths were heavy, daring to look at you while his pace increased. The corner of his lips curled into a malicious smirk, forcing your lips onto his by pushing your head towards him after landing the back of his hand in your damp hair. His other hand was placed beside your thigh to keep him up, but every once and a while, it would travel to the outer of your thigh and squeeze tightly.

Your kiss shared with him was a sloppy mess, with both of you breathing into each other's mouth and unable to contain your moans from sputtering out from your lips. His tongue danced alongst your own, toying with it before resting his back in his mouth and pulling from your lips to kiss your cheek. He reached your ear with his lips, tugging at your earlobe, and allowing you to hear his restless, guttural groans that tore at your core with pleasure.

"You're all mine, you know that?" He groaned to you. "Your pussy is for my pleasure only - no one else's. You understand?" He continued his fast-paced thrusts while borderline whispering these words to you.

You swallowed harshly, breathing out a small, "yes," as you were unable to utter anything else. It was already a battle enough to keep yourself quiet to minimize the noise anyone in the green room could hear, but yet, they all knew why you were with Jake. And frankly, Jake didn't care about the noise. In fact, he encouraged your cries of ecstasy. He demanded it from you.

He wrapped his hand around your neck tightly, forcing you to look at him as he withheld your breath.

"Say you understand, y/n. Say that you understand that no one else can have you but I." He breathed, lessening his tight grip around your neck to allow you to speak for him.

"I understand, Jake," you said as your eyes rolled back from the way Jake was thrusting into you, "I'm all yours."

You didn't have to refocus your eyes on him to know he was smirking - you could just hear his lips curl. Now he was quickly pulling himself out of you, and in a swift motion, lifting you off from the table and barely giving you time to land on your feet before turning you around and bending you over. You were face to face with yourself, seeing how your makeup had run, and your lips were swollen and darker tinted than normal.

But then you saw him, and how he looked from behind you. His eyes landed on your ass, and in a near second, you saw his hand raise and swat against the skin. You jumped with a light whimper trapping itself behind your lips as you bit down on your bottom lip. His eyes met yours, and there he was, giving you the smallest hint of a smile, and forcefully pushing himself all the way inside of you.

One of his hands rested at your hip with a harsh grip, and the other was at your shoulder while he watched the movement of your ass each time it hit against his stomach. He was entranced by the way your body moved, how good it felt to be inside of you, how perfect you looked fully exposed to him.

He whispered something near incoherent, but you were able to pick it up.

"Good, good fucking girl. That's it, baby." He said as he kept his eyes locked on your rear. You watched his lips drop open, his hair moving with his motions and his eyebrows softening and furrowing with each sensation that drove through his body. He grabbed at your ass once more, giving you another swat to make sure he would leave his mark on you as if the bruises caused by his mouth weren't already stained onto your body.

You moaned his name, begging him not to stop as he was hitting the spot you craved to be caressed the most. You dared to reach your fingers down to your clit to reach your orgasm, but as your hand began to make its way there, Jake immediately caught on, and grabbed ahold of your hair and tugged you far back enough to where your back arched away from his chest.

"Greedy now, are we?" His hand from your hair released itself to forcefully grasp your throat with his pointer finger and thumb harshly pressed at your jaw to look towards him. You didn't know what to respond with, other than to rest your hands onto the edge of the table and allowing your knuckles to turn white.

You dared to hold eye contact with him, and he squeezed your cheeks with the intent of forcing your mouth open and spitting onto your tongue. You swallowed the substance without thought, looking at him as you raised one hand to hold onto the side of his face. And the grip he had onto your face wasn't harsh enough, because you felt your head turn forward and lean back with a loud moan as your orgasm grew closer, and the pads of his fingers rubbed vigorous circles onto your clit.

"Greedy little whore." He whispered into your ear, looking at you through the mirror. He watched the way your breasts bounced, how your body twitched, how you were nearly unresponsive with the amount of pleasure you were receiving. You truly were all his.

"Jake, please," you begged quietly. There were more words you wanted to say, but they had fizzled and left your mind, and you could only focus on the way Jake was pumping in and out of you at a quickened pace.

Strands of his hair began to stick to his cheeks, and his silver necklaces that he had on left a cold sting onto your back as they would barely graze the skin. Every single sense in your body had become heightened and intensified, along with your entire body tensing up that had your entire body running hot. All you could do was chase your release, to tune into the intoxicating sensation of Jake delivering as much pleasure to you as possible.

"God, I'm gonna cum." He warned as his thrusts became inconsistent, yet perfectly paced to reach his high. "Gonna cum with me?"

There was only one answer to that question, and he knew that. But hearing you say it helped send him over the edge. It helped him feel more in control of your orgasm. Hell, you were surprised your release hadn't overtaken you yet.

"Yes, Jake, just please, don't stop." You moaned.

And as you felt the tight knot unravel in your stomach, you began to fall forward with your legs trembling, and Jake coming to your aid by bracing his arm across your chest as he fucked you through your orgasm.

“That’s it darling,” he soothed, “there you go.”

His head fell forward as he finished inside of you, draining himself fully and leaving himself with a heaving chest. His arm fell from your chest and landed his hand on top of yours on the edge of the table, with the other hand teasing at your sensitive clit once more just to feel you twitch a final time around him.

After you nearly grabbed his wrist to move it away from the overstimulation, he landed his hand onto your waist, and stayed inside of you for a moment. His eyes found yours in the mirror, and he pressed a soft, long kiss onto your cheek.

"You okay?" He said to you.

"Yes, yes I'm okay," you giggled, "more than okay."

He chuckled at your statement. "Just making sure." He said as he looked at you.

His lips traveled onto your neck with soft, relaxed kisses, reaching to the end of your shoulder and stopping there as he pulled himself from you. You tried to turn around to face him, but as he saw your legs nearly give out, he came to wrap his hands around your waist, and keep you on your feet. If it weren't for the warm liquid dripping down onto the insides of your thighs, you would have forgotten that Jake had finished inside of you.

After seeing that animalistic side of him, you had nearly forgotten how caring he was, and how important it was to him to tend to you after practically using your body. And while one hand stayed at the small at your back, the other raised to your cheek, and his thumb softly swiped against it in a back-and-forth motion.

You two allowed each other to catch your breaths, keeping your eyes locked onto his and smiling at him softly in your hazed state.

"Do you want to stay after for a bit before you head off?" He said to you, finally having his breathing under control.

"Don't want me to stay over for the night, or are you already sick of me?" You said to him with a knowing grin.

He chuckled at your response and placed a soft kiss onto your lips. "Go on and get dressed and we'll head back to mine when you're ready to, alright?"

You nodded at him and began to clean yourself up, which he helped with, then aiding him, and getting dressed to make yourself presentable to walk out of the dressing room and accept the stares from the rest of the band and any of their team members who witnessed the sounds that erupted from Jake's dressing room.

But they all knew why you were there. After all, you were Jake's personal groupie. And you enjoyed the lifestyle. You enjoyed Jake, and he enjoyed you.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

taglist:

@hollyco @songbirds-sweet @ageofhearingloss @sacredjake @mountain-in-springtime @ignite-my-fire @gvfsstardust @jakesguitarsolo @gold-mines-melting @digitalcalamity @demolitionndann @lipstickitty @bluee07 @lexii-nv-c @joopsworld @gvfgal @gvfpal @hellowgoodbye @writingcold @stardustcatcher @absolutely--mental @hippievanfleet @gretasfallingsky @dont-go-home-without-me @threadthatssacred @indigofallingsky @audgeppp @sinarainbows @brujamagik @bowievanfleet @laneygvf @idontlikelizards @josh-iamyour-mama @starshine-wagner @lyndz2names @jaketswine @jjwasneverhere @mulberrimouse @starcatcher-jake @lallisonl @jordie-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf

[itsclydebitches]

I've seen people mention that In-ho's excitement about willing the Six-Legs game seems genuine, but anyone else think his freak-out was too?

It occurred to me that including a group-focused game was already a big risk. If he moved at all during Red Light, Green Light the snipers simply wouldn't shoot him (and terrified players are unlikely to notice, or they'd assume they just didn't see things right). Or, as we saw with Mingle, he simply needs to hide out of sight for a moment and then pretend he wound up with another group. But Six Legs is trickier because he's relying on the rest of his team to get him through. If anyone falters and they don't make it in time, the soldiers either need to A) somehow pretend to kill in him in a way that looks convincing but doesn't actually harm him, B) spare him and kill all witnesses, or C) have him admit he's plant. I assume the plan was B and that's why Gi-hun's group went last - there's even a comment that they no longer have an audience - but still, In-ho plays "fair" according to his own warped sense of justice, which primarily means that he will follow the game rules as they're written. I don't think he'd want to kill others if they won "fairly," simply to preserve his identity, which means it was always a risk to participate in a group-focused game. Why then would he fuck up so badly and risk them not finishing? It's not that he'd be afraid of dying, but he'd be afraid of his ruse falling apart and, by extension, losing the secondary game he's playing with Gi-hun.

So I read his failure/freak-out as 100% real. What really sold it for me was his self-harm and the screaming that he's an idiot. Yeah, as a fellow shipper I love the idea that he's being deliberately dramatic so that Gi-hun will comfort him, but realistically this severely contradicts his calm, approachable, charming persona. In-ho doesn't mind beating up Thanos because that establishes him as a protective figure (and gets him into hero Gi-hun's good graces). However, he absolutely didn't want to kill that other player in front of Jung-bae, demonstrating how cold he actually is: "Get out." The fact that he kills him anyway just shows how far he's willing to go to perpetuate his ruse so again, why risk it in Six Legs and deliberately add in an extreme reaction that's likely to make the others wary of him? The only thing that makes sense to me is that he did fail at the spinning top, he did panic about it, and he did fall into a self-deprecating spiral.

Which makes complete sense, doesn't it? In-ho was a player. That doesn't absolve him of perpetuating the system, but Squid Games reminds us with equal weight that these men are not faceless, all-powerful monsters, but human beings. You cannot dehumanize evil lest you start to believe that you and your loved once are somehow an exception and could never become it. In-ho is a perfect example of that. He's a former victim who has a PTSD attack while reliving his worst trauma... and then slides right back into forcing others to experience that trauma once he remembers that he himself is safe. Reading that moment as purely an act just positions In-ho as some inhumanly perfect manipulator, which doesn't jive with other moments like accidentally using Gi-hun's name, and more importantly flies in the face of much that Squid Games is working to communicate. They're all just people and yes, if you back them into a corner, if you pit them against each other, if you let them hide behind masks... people can become monstrous. Those same people can also show great vulnerability, and communal joy, and genuine support for others. In-ho is compelling because of that complexity and it is the complexity itself that serves as the reminder: you and In-ho are just a few bad decisions - or bad moments of luck - away from being uncomfortably similar.

[danothan]

i am female manipulating you….tell me about your hyperfixations and special interests…..

!! well my biggest hypfix rn is arcane and my most pressing special interest is dc, so i’ve been trying to find as many similarities as i can between my respective faves (aka jayce talis and barry allen). no other reason than self-indulgent crossovers and categorizational satisfaction U__U

i’ve done this before, but now i’m also adding a visual component by comparing screenshots/panels! here’s a taste:

[s2e1 spoilers below cut]

i was thinking abt what i said abt their compartmentalizing tendencies, which led me to think abt the different ways jayce confides in his loved ones and how that plays into his inability to see the bigger picture. after his partner viktor nearly dies in the councilroom attack, jayce confides in mel (gf) for emotional support but tells caitlyn (family friend) what he’s actually thinking. when mel asks how viktor’s doing and jayce responds “he’s still breathing,” it feels defeated but leaves room for hope. when cait asks the same, he tells her “honestly, i don’t even know if he’s still in there,” like there’s less stakes to have to hide behind optimism

that’s not to say he isn’t vulnerable w mel ofc, he lies his head in her lap and allows her to comfort him thru his survivor’s guilt. however, this only reassures his emotional unease (sm to be said abt this x his argument style, but that’s for another day). with cait, he’s definitely not confiding for comfort lmao (i still think it’s funny and so very little sister of her to ask jayce how his dying partner is doing and then immediately start venting abt her own problems). instead, it’s more like jayce is trying to process, even if it’s just to be honest w himself

all of this to say, the ppl in jayce’s life have specific roles, which means he goes to them for specific things. this is a normal thing that pretty much everyone does, but in jayce’s case, his compartmentalizing feeds into his tunnel vision + influenceable disposition. having specific ppl for specific things is great for not burdening any one person w all of your problems, but it makes it harder for him to see the bigger picture outside of himself. there’s a reason why jayce is notorious for his recency bias; it’s easy to get lost in the details when you can only see what’s being reflected at you in a given moment

this tendency to compartmentalize is a trait jayce shares w barry “i try not to blur the lines” allen. if anyone is going to have specific ppl for specific things, it’s gonna be the guy that splits his life into two personas (that he refuses to overlap yet can’t exist without the other, but hey, who’s keeping track?). barry does it a little differently tho; whereas jayce is very external in his emotions, barry is internal, going so far as to use his powers to speedrun his grief alone so he can be there for other ppl instead

they’re both very intense in their emotions, but barry bottles his up until they reach a boiling point. if he confides in someone, there’s a calculated secrecy that jayce doesn’t have. for example, barry’s best friend hal (who knew him first as the flash) usually has to force barry to admit his feelings abt smth, while his gf/wife iris (who knew him first as barry) feels like she’s pulling teeth to get any information out of him. “flash is flash, barry is barry”; he tries not to blur the lines, and this extends to the ppl that know him

it’s not that barry wants to hide himself (in fact, his love language is to understand and to be understood), he just has a hard time letting any one person know all of him. he’s social and sensitive but selectively vulnerable. it’s like he scatters fragments of himself so that everyone can have a piece, but no one has the full picture. it’s no surprise he isn’t able to see the big picture himself

between their compartmentalization, their short-sightedness, and their audacious idea of protecting their loved ones, i think the jayce-to-barry pipeline was inevitable for me lol. but interestingly enough, i never realized how different they were in their similarities until i wrote it all out here! i hope this makes sense if you aren’t familiar w the characters, it’s definitely been enlightening for me ^__^

[dehydratedlemon]

i like that some of the counsellors werewolf transformations show more of the character’s personality, internalized issues and thoughts. +. general character traits i noticed

Jacob: VERY. VERY self loathing. honestly really sad, shows how much he cares what people think of him behind the brave, tough guy persona. during the beginning of the game alot of the counsellors teased him after the breakup, and he jokes with them and only seems slightly annoyed. but during his transformation he is literally like “no one likes you” alluding to self esteem issues.

Nick: shows his love for abi but in a more negative way. even though it’s not technically him, it’s showing his annoyance over the mutual pinning between him and abi. How he’s tired of there being a connection but no confessions or reciprocation from either of them. (there’s definitely more there but i don’t know the words to explain it)

Dylan: displays how he cares for people, warning kaitlyn to run before he turned. Generally during the game he showed how he is far more intelligent than he lets on, understanding more about the werewolves and tech stuff. under the quick witted personality is a person that is empathetic and cares about the way he is presented. Also his more joking personality l, especially during the darker moments of the game, show more of his coping mechanisms in uncomfortable situations.

Emma: in the storm shelter she was also very humorous and playful. similar to dylan in that they use jokes and overplay their personalities to fit in. during her transformation with abi, she says that it hurts and backs away from abi, showing more of a vulnerable side that she hides from the others. Also that she is less selfish than she lets on, trying to back away so she doesn’t hurt her friend.

Laura: Also kind of warns the people around her and tries to smack her head to delay the transformation. I don’t have much to say about her transformation, but she overall display a tough and intellectual personality, and unlike much of the others, doesn’t use any facades or overplayed traits. She is probably one of the most simplistic characters in terms of personality.

Max: Not much to go off of! (him also being relatively clear cut of a character as well does not help) But his transformation in the prison suggests he might find lauras persistence annoying, when he yelled at laura when she asked his symptoms. Even after he got cured there was nothing much other than him yelling at a tree.

Kaitlyn, Abi, and Ryan unfortunately never fully turn into werewolves and even when bit don’t show anything similar to the other counsellors. Ryan and Abi get almost immediately cured and Kaitlyn only get the cool face details. Missed opportunity honestly, would’ve loved a rylan scene and just seeing how they would react to the curse in general since everyone else reacted differently.

[herrenxenoberg]

Fandorm Showcase #24 - Enchanted

Yes, I have returned from the depths of my artist pit to bring you more creations of mine. Currently, Season 3 is in the middle of a major redesign, so I'll be posting the ones I have done thus far.

Introducing the dorm inspired by Enchanted...

Malefleur (Mal = French for evil; Fleur = French for flower)

Malefleur focuses on two different things entirely. One is regal charisma, flair for the dramatics and a sense of vanity, and the other is ambition, nobility and the capability to master complex magic and spells to be the greatest. This can be considered as Pomefiore and Diasomnia combined in terms of ideology and theme. They also specialize in both potionology and practical magic, specifically transformation magic, mastering disguises and shapeshifting.

"A dorm founded on the Sorceress Queen's spirit of dedication. Students in this dorm are taught to use wits and allure to achieve their desires while navigating complex social dynamics."

Requirements and Traits:

Resourceful and strategic

Mastery of both illusion magic and alchemy

Have natural charisma or reputation

Dorm Uniform:

FYI, I did use the Pomefiore and Diasomnia dorm uniform when designing the uniform sheet for this dorm, and I gotta say, it turned out absolutely gorgeous. I tried to make it a combination of the two, but also unique enough to be a dorm uniform in itself, as well as using the colour palette from Queen Narissa to make it fit. I was stuck at the magic item idea since on one hand, we get a book and the other, we get a spindle scepter, so I just decided to make a staff that magically produces apple-shaped glass containers and filled with potions that has various effects depending on the spell casted into the contents. Once the "apples" are used up, the wielder would have to wait for new apples to be produced using magic reserves, thus would leave him vulnerable to enemy attacks. (He's a bit of a defensive/support kind of mage)

Character Roster:

Grace the majestically beautiful and powerful royalty...

Niklaus Thebeau (Twisted off Queen Narissa)

Niklaus is the epitome of elegance, charm, and ambition, a junior housewarden whose beauty and magical prowess have captivated the hearts of many both online and off. He carries himself with an air of royal sophistication that hints at his noble origins. His graceful movements and melodious voice further reinforce his aura of refinement, making him a natural at commanding attention.

Hailing from a fantasy-focused kingdom steeped in tradition, Niklaus was raised with the expectation of perfection and excellence. However, upon moving to a more modern region of Twisted Wonderland, he found himself struggling to adapt to a world so different from his own. It wasn’t until he began showcasing his magical abilities and ethereal beauty on social media that he found a place to belong, quickly rising to fame as an internet celebrity. Now, he balances his royal upbringing with the fast-paced, image-driven modern world, using his charisma to maintain his carefully curated public persona.

While he often appears charming and approachable, Niklaus is incredibly calculating. He thrives on attention and admiration, using his influence to subtly manipulate situations to his advantage. He believes in the power of appearances and often hides his insecurities behind his poised demeanor. Beneath his polished exterior, Niklaus is fiercely determined to prove his worth, not just as a pretty face but as someone truly formidable in both power and intellect.

Notable Members:

Nicolas Thebeau (Junior) - Niklaus's second brother and a dragon-fae who only wanted to be the most powerful mage in the world, just like his idol, Malleus Draconia. He is also intense and straightforward, often forgoing pleasantries in favor of directness. (Twisted off Queen Narissa's Dragon Form)

Nicoll Thebeau (Junior) - Niklaus's third brother who is a a paradoxical figure, embodying both warmth and malice in a chilling duality. He presents himself as an affable, kind-hearted man who is always ready to lend a helping hand or offer a sympathetic ear, but lies a demented mind, calculating and ruthless in its pursuit of whatever he deems necessary to his schemes. (Twisted off Queen Narissa's Hag Form)

(So, I wanted to apologize in advance that starting from this one, there won't be a story synopsis included yet since I did not plan this far ahead, but rest assured, there will be story plots for these next few fandorms-)

Next Up: Who Framed Roger Rabbit

[onesidedradiostatic]

I feel like Alastor made that deal to save his life. That'd be so much more tragic and create so much more conflict if he was literally on the verge of death and someone told him either you do this or you die. In general as someone with thanatophobia I do headcanon Alastor as a person who's very, very afraid of death which just adds to the panic he had in the finale.

Something that I really see in Alastor's character over and over again is that sure, he craves power and control and he loves having that but also he wants to be seen; to mean something. He's an entertainer with his radio show. He's killed terrible people probably because of his moral code, yes, but I think also to give himself this grand purpose (think Light from Death Note) of bringing justice etc.

Alastor hates fading into the background, he hates being overshadowed (Lucifer), hates when people do not give a shit about him. He clearly cares about his reputation; wants the other overlords to wonder where he's been even though he has no intention of giving that information out whatsoever. A lot of people really do want him to be this powerful villain who seems untouchable but I really like the theory of Alastor being a fraud. A Wizard of Oz type character. With all of his power coming from his deal. I love the idea of "The Radio Demon" being this grand persona he carefully crafted for himself and now bases his identity around and hiding everything behind a smile when underneath it all; without the deal, without his reputation; he is just a very traumatized, slightly pathetic little man who fears nothing more than cracks in his facade and going back to being that little mixed kid in Louisiana whose dad hated him and who was treated like he was never going to make it as a radio star or like he doesn't matter. The whole taking charge of one's own fate quote really drives that theory home for me.

I've never seen Alastor as someone who wants control because he's a power hungry maniac, he wants control because he grew up without that; because even now every day in that deal is a reminder of how much his life depends on the forces around him. I see Alastor as someone with this delusional idea of freedom that if he just puts himself above everyone, if he's able to take on anything; he'll finally feel free when in reality the biggest problems are his unaddressed fears, his perspective and his mental illnesses. And the more he fails, the more this drives him insane.

I think deep inside he feels pathetic and more vulnerable than he actually is and it's why he lashes out at Husk and immediately gets into this dick measuring contest with Lucifer. Episode 5 really showcases how impulsive and meaninglessly destructive Alastor can be when he feels threatened. Like a hissy cat.

And what would be a worse fate for someone like that than to die in hell, bound to a contract, owned by someone; only to fade away into nothingness for all eternity and eventually be forgotten like he never meant anything? I think that's the worst possible scenario for him and the only thing that could get him to put himself into a deal no matter the terms. Because at least if he's alive, he still has a chance.

DAAAMN yeah this is pretty crazy, I mean I personally don't even have my own theory on what the deal could be so I just accept whatever people throw out there

the thing with the idea of all his power coming from his deal is that then we'd have to assume the deal was made very early on in his time in hell (since well. he does have a long reputation pre-absence), and in that case the making of his deal wouldn't have caused his 7-year absence, and if not then why did he disappear for 7 years? why does it coincide with lilith? was it still something related to his deal??

I don't really have any theory I agree or disagree with in particular, I'm just consuming all of them and will see if anyone's hit the nail on the head when it's revealed in the show proper

[localsharkcryptid]

you can make both always. I love the concepts of boths designs for cdream. One bc it's shocking seeing the guy that destroyed countries and scared everyone into thinking he's a monter, just being a human like everyone in all senses.

And the other bc it's actually cool to challenge the ideas we have and how it's easy to dehumanize things that look different from the standards qe have. And how people don't think someone can be vulnerable or hurt when does not look close to what we think as "vulnerable".

Cdream fits so well with either design it's hard to choose i get You struggled sm

You get it Anon, you get it

On the one hand, Dream being human - just a guy who has made himself larger than life and flaunts this persona of him being the villain and a threat, is so satisfying during the staged finale in particular. The person behind the mask is just a 20 something guy. He's young. He's human. He's human and is constantly treated as lesser. It's an excellent narrative for the story and adds a LOT to the guy who's POV we never get. I do love any Dream that is just a guy for that choice alone.

Though hybrid Dream, GOD, it writes a slightly different story that's just as compelling. Admittedly I almost always fall back into writing him as a hybrid, and it's without a doubt my favorite for the variety AND the reasons you listed as well as some of my own.

Cause usually, regardless of who it is, there's a decent amount of other hybrids on the server, it's established that they are at the least uncommon - but most likely society still follows a similar status quo to us on how they judge. There are unspoken rules of society for the hybrids that are 'dangerous', that you don't bear your natural weapons, you don't do anything to make others uncomfortable, you must conform to the comforts of others. It's all subtext and undertones, rules never spoken. Societal Conventions the loathed.

I'd like to think, with my Dream who's a chimera - based on the combination of a Florida Bobcat, General Ambiguous Serpent Creature & a Bongo/Forest Antelope (taking that last one from my buddy Charlie cause it's just so silly) - that he detests such things and has fought his whole life to ignore them, he wants to be accepted for ALL that he is, he doesn't want to bend to rules that paint him as dangerous and untrustworthy if he doesn't adhere to shit that people don't even talk about. This is without a doubt why the server in its early days is so important to him, cause he doesn't need to hide, his friends accept him and could care less about what he is. He's not a monster, he's a friend, he's a companion. They care about who he is - not what he is. Even if his reputation from the manhunt days proceeds him. The mask only becomes a courtesy when new people show up, to hide his face - not for their sake, but for his own anonymity that ties back to the Manhunt reputation, it is not to hide his fangs despite what others may think.

Then there's the thing of him being shoved into this box cause of what he is, and it makes it so easy for others to dehumanize him - to villainize - to justify. Yes, he's done bad things, he's done horrible acts and it's all too easy for people to say "it's in his nature" than to acknowledge HIS perspective and reasons, to even consider that maybe, just maybe he was simply pushed too far. A snake kicked one too many times. And unfortunately every single time he's forced to or tries to defend himself with the only language anyone understands, violence, it's just more 'justification' that he cannot change and is eternally a danger.

It also adds another layer of parallels between him and Sam - Who in my interpretation has done everything he can to fit in with society, to prove he's not a monster or anything of the like, he's a good guy. Unfortunately as we all know, that line of thinking goes to Sam's head in the end, and he becomes a monster for reasons that have nothing to do with him being a creeper hybrid. And that's not even TOUCHING Rivals Duo and how they mirror each other.

---

I could say SOOOO much more but I think you get the gist - I generally just have such a soft spot for characters who look different/have certain features and are shunned by society for it in one way or another + plus the whole motif of characters who struggle to change their ways cause it's the only thing that works - At the end of the day I'll be sticking with the hybrid take, for sure, I was just stuck in my own head thinking it over for a minute XD

[letthewhumpbegin]

My Demons - a Squid Game fanfiction

Fandom: Squid Game Characters: Thanos Prompt: this was written for day 2 of @febuwhump, prompt 'Holding back tears'. Word count: 915 Warnings: contains descriptions of anxiety / panic attack and depression. Slight mentions of drug use.

The nights were the hardest , they had always been. Even now, in a giant dormitory with well over 200 other people, Thanos knew what was coming for him.

The clock overhead counted down to the moment the lights would go out for the night. Everyone climbed into their bunk beds, and so, too, Thanos. He had purposefully chosen one of the lower bunks in a corner. Like this, he had the most privacy this place had to offer: neighbours only on one side and hidden from view from the bunks above him. 

Thanos lay down on his back, pulling the blanket up to his chin. His hands trembled, and he already felt his throat start to constrict with the impending surge of emotion he knew was coming. He had done this a million times before, and would probably be doing this a million times over, but that didn’t make him any less scared of what his own mind could do to him. 

The clock ticked down the last seconds, and the bright lights turned down to plunge the entire dormitory in darkness.  Thanos gasped quietly, because in the dark his demons came for him. During the day he could hide them, aided by his drugs, behind his cocky persona. But at night, in the dark, he was vulnerable to the woes of his own mind. All his troubles and worries suddenly pinned him down, suffocating him with their grip over his life. 

"L-- leave me alone." Thanos’ voice trembled. Tears burned behind his eyes, but he fought to hold them back. No one would ever see him cry, and especially not all these strangers here.  Thanos swallowed hard. His throat and chest hurt with the suppressed sobs as everything he was trying to keep in threatened to spill out anyway. 

Slowly sitting up in his bed, Thanos shivered all over. His mind had gone to its darkest corners, like it often did at night, and he had no way to stop it or get himself out of it. When he was alone, Thanos would give into it, but right now he would not allow himself to become the screaming and crying mess that it usually led him to be.  Thanos tightly grabbed his own hair, fingers twisting around the purple-dyed locks. He would give everything, anything, to feel better just for once and have a night of peaceful sleep, instead of having to face the anguish and horrors he saw once he closed his eyes.

The black hole of depression and anxiety that his mind already was, was now also fueled by images of the first game they had played here today. It had seemed a simple enough children’s game, until people were shot and killed for real. At the time, Thanos was high on his drugs and it had been fun, but now the realization of what it truly was, and what danger he was in, landed with him. 

The tremble of Thanos’ hands intensified at the thought of going out there and risking his life during any more of the games. But quitting and going back to his life outside of all of this was not an option either. Because, what kind of life was that? A disgraced rapper who couldn’t remember his own lyrics and was over a billion Won in debt? No, that was not even a choice. Only winning these games had a chance of fixing his broken life, and maybe fix him in some way. 

Thanos fought back another surge of tears. What if he was wrong? What if he was too broken to be fixed? Even a mended vase still showed cracks after all. And what if that was him?  Thanos gasped for breath to try and hide another sob, but the sound reverberated through the eerily quiet dormitory anyway. He knew many people wouldn’t be asleep after all that had happened today, so loads of people must have heard him. His only consolation was that at least they couldn’t see the big, famous Thanos breaking into a million pieces here in the dark. 

Thanos stared at the silhouettes of the other bunks and the faint glow of the illuminated money pig hanging from the ceiling high above all of them. What he wouldn’t give to have all that money. 

But you won’t have all that money, because you’re worthless, the voice in the back of his mind quipped.

Thanos hung his head. He was so tired. So tired of the struggle with his immense debt, the weight of his fame and the mistakes he had made in the past. But, most of all, he was tired of the struggle with his own mind. A mind that he only seemed to be able to temper with pills, and would burden him with anxiety and thoughts darker than anyone could ever imagine. 

Thanos’ hands trembled where they rested in his lap. Even though he was still fighting to keep his tears in, it was a losing battle. His demons would simply not rest until they had broken him down and torn him to shreds, like they did every night. 

Thanos whimpered softly under his breath when the first of the tears rolled down his cheek. The warm liquid drop fell onto the skin of his wrists, making the silent statement that his demons were winning once again. And that once again, no matter how hard Thanos fought against it, he would never be able to hold back his tears.

Writing masterlist | Request a fanfic

[thesoulforgeorder]

Hi bro salt, how are you doing? I hope your health has gotten better. thanks for sharing the theme song of will, mina, and nico. 💖

To be honest I was a bit surprised about two things, first about Will, I thought his music would be similar to vibe: heaven by Kane Brown. but instead I got something more serene, dark, vulnerable. after hearing love like ghost by lord huron. What exactly is Will trying to hide?! 😥😓

Secondly, my initial impression of Nico was rather negative, considering that I was once a victim of my acquaintance's ambition, where he harmed me because I was considered to be in the way of his path, to my surprise, among the three songs you gave me, I liked Nico's romance theme song the most. maybe I was too quick to judge and instead I was interested to know how Nico's romance story!

Mina's song reminds me of a song that has the lyrics: “he gonna tear your city down, oh lei, oh lai, oh lord...~” are they still in the same band?

I myself like almost all genres of music, but there are a few that I like when I'm writing, especially when I want to write something serious, vulnerable, or introspective.

I don't have spotify but only listen to it via youtube, I hope you don't mind, here is the list:

1. Spirit of the wild by BrunuhVille

2. The Willow Maid by Erutan

3. Winter Moon by Erutan

4. City of the dead by Eurielle

5. Pieces of broken heart by Joe Hisaishi

6. Forgotten Words by Mirai Kodai Orchestra

7. Dark souls III - Main theme Lyrics (Latin-English)

8. Sister Friede by Yuka Kitamura

9. Sis puela magica by Yuki Kajiura

10. Venari Strigas by Yuki Kajiura

11. Volibear: The Relentless Storm by Austin Wintory

12. Priscilla's by The Witcher 3

13. Man upon the hill by Stars and Rabbit

[if you're sad I recommend: Pieces of broken heart by Joe Hisaishi]

What do you think, is any of this list familiar to you, I'm curious what your favorite music is.

hello from tyorion! 🤗🌻

Hi Tyorion! I'm doing well, I'm almost back to 100% health, just a bit bruised up by my cuts and bending still sucks but I've been able to sit at my desk and write so I'm happy.

Will is definitely hiding a lot lol. There are a lot of secrets behind his charming smile and easy-going persona. He is not a RO for people who are impatient! You can sleep with him pretty early on but to actually enter into a relationship you will have to work for it.

As for Nico... he is ambitious and ready to sacrifice a lot but he is driven by a need to be acknowledged and loved. If he can find that outside his family, you find he starts to sway in his path. Right now everything he does is just to meet his Father's expectations.

I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences but don't worry, Nico can be swayed! Although you may find yourself poking an old bruise while encouraging him to stray.

Also yes!! Bitter Waters is also by The Oh Hellos which is the band you referenced by the lyrics. I love that song btw, great music taste.

A lot of the songs you listed are songs I listen to when I write as well! We have very similar taste. I tend to listen to a lot of DND playlists because I can choose them based on mood and a lot of those songs are in it. I especially get a lot of Witcher, Dark Souls and Dragon age songs in them.

I listen to a lot of Jpop (anime OSTs more specifically) and video game soundtracks when I'm writing but in my personal time I am a RnB, pop, Indie, Folk and Kpop girlie. But honestly I would listen to anything.

Thank you for the ask! I'll definitely keep dropping more songs for others since it seems like a few people enjoy them.