#so much bad stuff has been overwhelming. let's note the good

[skypalacearchitect]

Republicans tried everything they could to derail the initiative. Voters approved it anyway.

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 2 - Adjustments

Summary: You're struggling a bit in your adjustment to your new life, and you're finding some of them are easier to get along with than others. Luckily you're not in it alone.

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, let's be real this is so unrealistic but it's a/b/o you're not here for accuracy.

Author's Note: I'm so just overwhelmed with the attention this fic has gotten, but not in a bad way I promise! I'm just surprised is all. Thank you everyone that has read and reblogged and commented. I love all of you and so, since I have no self control, here is Chapter 2. Lots more world building and dialogue in this part, but I promise good stuff is coming.

Also I promise Soap will get his time soon. He's just the hardest for me to write, and you'll see why in this chapter.

MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->

“She was lying.” 

Price doesn’t bother looking up as a dark figure leans against the wall next to him. He stares out at the empty space between the barracks and the mess hall, not much traffic between the buildings during this time of day. 

“About how she got to the institute.” 

“Or at least not telling the whole truth.” Price says, turning to look at Simon. “Something tells me she’d talk if we asked.” 

“She’s soft.” Simon says, letting his gaze drift off into the distance. 

“She’s a civilian.” Price counters. “The CIA did a little training, but she’ll need some work. We can’t leave her completely defenseless...” 

Simon turns to face him again. “There’s something else.” 

Price pushes himself off the wall, heading back inside. Simon follows, the two of them making their way down the hall to his office. “There’s hundreds of American military bases across the world, thousands of regiments they could have chosen from, and yet, they sent her to us.” 

Simon closes the door behind him as Price sinks into his desk chair. “You think it was deliberate?” 

Price pulls open one of the drawers, pulling out the file Kate had given him. “Laswell said the CIA has had eyes on her for years.” He slides it across his desk to Simon. “There’s a lot of why's in this situation, and a lot of how’s. Like, if what she’s saying is true, how did a Staff Sergeant get his daughter into FIOT practically overnight?” 

Simon glances up at him over the top of the file. “You think there’s something else going on with this Initiative.” 

Price nods. “I do. I think there’s more than one experiment being run, and we’re the guinea pigs.” 

You stare at your reflection in the mirror as you run a comb through your damp hair. You look tired, the dark circles that have plagued your face for the last few weeks looking even darker now. It’s been a long day, so long it’s hard to believe it’s only been a matter of hours since you boarded the helicopter in London. 

Your new pack had made themselves scarce after dinner, leaving you to your own devices. You had been left alone after lunch too, and you had spent that time laying in bed, resting after the overwhelming scenting. 

You’d played back the last few hours in your mind. Leaving London in the helicopter, meeting your new Pack Alpha, Laswell leaving, meeting your new pack, the scenting. You had plenty to think about, to stress over, and you had been surprised when the knock came at your door for dinner. You were equally surprised to see Gaz and Soap waiting for you. 

You’d been sandwiched between them again as you walked to the mess. It was busier for dinner, and the eyes weren’t quite so quick to look away with the alphas missing. You know they have to be curious, with an omega on base following around two members of a SpecOps team, smelling like them. You know what they were probably thinking of you, what they were thinking your presence means. 

You’ve begun to understand Price’s rules a bit more. 

Price and Ghost had joined you as Soap said they would, coming in late from whatever they had been busy doing. You had been seated next to Soap, Ghost taking his other side while Price sat next to Gaz. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to you how close Soap and Ghost sat, and you remembered the look in Ghost’s eyes when Soap had approached to scent you. How his defensive stare had turned icy, threatening even, when he’d gotten close to you as if you were capable of hurting Soap. It had been a silent warning. If you tried anything, you’d have him to contend with. 

Ghost is territorial, more so than most alphas. You had seen it just a bit in Price, but only because you had been watching for it. Ghost was silent in his claim, but his gaze spoke of his territorialism. As you sat at the table with them, you slowly felt the stares lessen, the curious alphas and betas around you slowly turning away from your table until you were left in peace. You knew it was all thanks to a well-pointed glare from the second alpha at the table. 

They’d escorted you back to the barracks before disappearing again, leaving you alone. You’d opted for a shower to try and clear your head, exhaustion weighing heavy in your limbs but your mind was racing too much to really get any rest. You haven’t been told what their normal schedules entail or even what they look like, but you expect an early morning tomorrow. Since Price had said at least one of them needed to escort you around base, that likely meant you were going to be constrained to their schedules. 

You know even when they’re not away, their days are probably full of training and briefings, much like yours had been for three months. They’re probably up early, earlier than you’d like to be, and then they go non-stop all day. 

You wonder if they ever get a break. 

Maybe this is a break for them. 

You sit on the edge of the bed after you finish your routine, eyeing the pillows and blankets stacked at the end. They’re military issue, not as soft or as plush as you might have preferred. This is your new normal, though. Comfort isn’t exactly going to be a high priority. 

Tears prick your eyes as you run your hand over the comforter. You know it’s the exhaustion, the stress of the day beginning to weigh on you. You’re worn out, and that’s causing a slip in the tight reins you keep on your mood. Omegas and alphas were both prone to being moody, and those who were unrestrained could lose control quickly. Alphas were quick to anger, while omegas could get depressed very easily. Exhaustion drives both to being grumpy, though alphas will descend into irritability and anger, while omegas will get whiny and weepy. 

You hate it, how easily you can be driven to cry. How easily you can lose control. It makes you feel weak and helpless, but that’s partially by design. It was supposed to be your pack’s job to fix that, to give you that support and take care of you. 

Except you don’t know your pack. 

What would they do if you approached them like this, all teary and needy? Would instinct take over and snap them into their roles? Or would they give you an awkward pat on the back and leave you to take care of yourself? Gaz would help you, you think. He had slipped into that role so easily during the scenting. Your fingers twitch on the bedspread, your mind telling you to seek him out, track him down, even if it’s only to catch a whiff of his scent again.  

Your phone screen lights up where it’s sitting on the nightstand, drawing your attention from the door. Kate had given you the phone just this morning before you left the hotel. It had her number on it, as well as your pack’s. You’d half expected to find messages already from them when you’d turned it on, but there had been none. They had kept that boundary of meeting in person first. 

You pick up the phone, checking the message. It’s from Price. 

Breakfast is at 0700. I’ll take you to see the Omega Specialist after. 

Seven o’clock. It’s not terribly early. You’d eaten around the same time at the institute. You’ll get to meet the Omega Specialist as well tomorrow. You’ve met plenty of them in your time as an omega, but something about the idea of having someone there who knows, who understands is comforting to you. 

You send a reply in acknowledgement for tomorrow’s plan before setting an alarm for tomorrow morning. There’s an uneasy feeling under your skin, a tickling in the back of your mind that you can’t seem to relax. Your eyes are drawn to the desk where the shirts still sit, and before you know it you’re moving to the desk, letting your fingers trail over each one. 

You grab Price’s shirt, taking it back to your bed. You curl up with your back facing the door, holding the shirt against your chest, letting the scent of tobacco smoke and whiskey fill your nose. Silent tears slide down your cheeks, your face pressing into the pillow to muffle your sobs. 

As you try to muffle your tears, you miss the sound of boots pausing in front of your door, the person on the other side standing there for a moment before continuing down the hall. 

You let out a groan as your alarm pulls you from sleep. You had drifted in and out for a few hours before finally managing to get a couple precious hours of sleep. You’d woken when the others got up. You knew they were trying to be quiet but you had heard them shuffling around, talking quietly amongst each other. You’re normally a fairly deep sleeper, but in a new place you always struggle. 

A new place surrounded by almost complete strangers. 

You turn off your alarm, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. They’re burning a bit, the exhaustion still weighing heavy on your shoulders. You pad to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face to try and make yourself at least look more alive than you feel. The last thing you need is them getting worried about you. That’s attention you’re not sure you want right now. 

You blink sleepily at your closet, trying to decide what to wear. Were you allowed to wear anything? You didn’t have much besides the basics, since the only thing you had been allowed to wear at the institute was its uniform and the clothes they provided. Then when you were with the CIA, they had provided clothes for you to wear as well. The things you have now had been bought by Kate before you left D.C. 

Everyone on base wore similar variants of the same uniform. You’re not military, though, so you don’t think those rules apply to you. No one had said anything about your state of dress yesterday. You opt for comfort, knowing you’d likely find out soon if you were going to be forced to dress differently too. 

You’re tying your shoes when the knock sounds on your door. You had heard the others moving around, footsteps in the hallway, opening and closing doors, quiet voices talking and Soap laughing at something. You know it’s one of them, yet the nervous tickle at the back of your head is back. 

Soap is leaning casually against your doorframe when you open the door. His face lights up in a smile as he sees you. “Morning, bonny. Sleep alright?” 

“Yeah.” You shrug. “Tossed and turned for a while.” 

“We didne keep ye up did we?” He asks, his smile faltering just a bit. 

You shake your head. “No, I never sleep well the first few nights in a new place.” 

“Well, our beds are always open if ye need something more comfortable.” He winks at you playfully. 

Your face warms at his words, the double meaning not lost on you. You were right, Soap was going to be the one to push your boundaries the most. 

Gaz elbows him in the ribs as he passes. “She’s been here a day, mate, don’t go scaring her off now.” He leans on the other side of your doorframe, giving you a smile. “Morning.” 

“Morning.” You say, your face still warm from Soap’s teasing. 

“You hungry?” Gaz asks. 

You nod. You do feel hungry this morning, likely a side effect from your emotional night last night. You step out of your room, the two betas stepping back to give you space as you close the door behind you. Ghost is leaning against the wall next to his door, his eyes watching with the typical cautious disinterest that seemed to be his default setting. 

Gaz and Soap sandwich you between them again, close enough their arms brush yours as you walk. It was almost as if they could sense your inner turmoil, the neediness still tugging at the back of your mind. If Ghost hadn’t been trailing the three of you, you might have been tempted to give in and grip their sleeves, or slip your hands into theirs. How would Ghost respond to such a bold move? The mental image of your body flying through the air as he punted you into next week almost makes you laugh. 

Price is already seated at a table frowning at his phone over a cup of coffee. Gaz and Soap load up your tray for you, something you’re getting used to rather quickly. It was expected from the alphas, or at least Price, to coddle you a bit, but it seemed the betas were more than happy to get in on it as well. 

The thought makes something flutter in your chest. 

You’re seated between Gaz and Price again once you reach the table, Price greeting you with a tired smile. “Morning. Sleep alright?” 

“Not really.” You say honestly. “New place and all. I’ll settle in eventually.” 

“Maybe the Omega Specialist can give you some ideas to help.” He glances at his watch before looking at you as you spoon a heaping spoonful of porridge into your mouth. “Take your time. We have until 8.” 

You listen to the conversation at the table as you eat, Gaz and Soap talking about a football game that’s on tonight. You feel eyes on you, your skin prickling a bit. You glance up, half expecting Ghost to be glowering at you again, but his gaze is focused on his eggs. You cast a quick glance around the mess, turning slightly to look behind you. 

Three tables over, you find the gaze of some soldier focused on you. You haven’t paid much attention to anyone else on the base, but then again you haven’t had much time or reason to yet. You can’t read the expression on his face as he stares at you, but you feel a shiver run down your spine as your eyes meet his. 

He stares at you for a few seconds before his gaze moves slightly past you, quickly dropping back to his plate. You turn around, finding Ghost staring just past your head. His eyes are narrowed, his scent coming off stronger than it had been. You can practically see his hackles raised, the warning clear in the air. You feel the urge to curl in on yourself, the threatening aura radiating from him makes you want to cower. 

It doesn't go unnoticed by those at the table either. 

“Easy, Ghost.” Price says calmly, Gaz turning to follow his line of sight. 

“Bloody wanker.” Ghost grumbles before rising from the table. 

You turn back around, but the soldier that had been staring at you is gone. 

You nervously pick at your sweatshirt sleeves as you sit in the plastic chair next to Price. You’re still on edge a bit from what happened at breakfast. It wasn’t so much being stared at that bothered you. After now three meals in the mess, you’ve almost come to expect it. It’s Ghost’s reaction that has your mind still reeling. 

“I’ve always hated the medical center.” Price says with a sigh as he leans his head back against the wall. “It smells too sterile. Makes my nose burn. Reminds me of too many close calls.” 

His words jar you a bit. You hadn’t even thought about that aspect of his job. He’s used to getting shot at, to getting into fights, running head first into danger that would send most running the other way. You wonder how many times he’s been the one with the close call, and how many others he’s had to watch have their own. 

You wonder how many times he’s had to make that trip to tell someone’s family. 

You’re pulled from your thoughts as the door across from you opens. Price pushes himself to his feet, and you follow as a kind looking woman steps out. You breathe a quiet sigh of relief. You don’t have anything against male Omega Specialists, but you were already surrounded by men. Sure you have Kate, but she’s half a world away. 

She’s tall, dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Despite being a doctor she’s dressed casually, no white coat or gloves to be seen. Her eyes are light green and crease in the corners when she smiles. 

“Hello, I’m Dr. Keller.” She introduces herself, shaking Price’s hand. 

American. You think, silently breathing another sigh of relief. Kate really had pulled some strings with this one. 

“Captain John Price.” He says. 

You introduce yourself when she turns to you, shaking your hand. Her voice is soft and gentle, the scent of beta coming off her in waves. 

“Come on in,” She says, leading you into the office. “Sit anywhere you like. Make yourselves comfortable.” 

Her office isn’t what you expected either. Instead of the harsh fluorescents, the lighting is softer, warmer. There’s paintings and posters all over the walls, along with several plants. There’s a desk covered in books and paperwork in one corner and a bookshelf with several books packed into it in the other. There’s a couch on one wall, and a couple plush looking chairs on the other. 

You move to one of the chairs, sinking down onto it. It envelops you in softness, and you feel as if you might sink into it and never be able to get out. After a day of hard plastic and stiff blankets, it nearly makes you weep. 

Price takes the chair next to you, Dr. Keller sitting on the couch across from you. The office smells good, a light, neutral scent in the air aside from the pure almondy scent of beta. 

“Alright,” She says, holding a tablet and a stack of files in her lap. “I always like to start by introducing myself and telling you a bit about me, then we’ll get into the important stuff.” 

She jumps into telling you about herself. Where she grew up: California. Where she studied: UC Berkeley. What institute she did her residency at: West Coast Training Academy. Where she worked last before Kate called her in: some poor inner city institute in LA. 

“Now, on to the more important stuff.” She says, turning on the tablet. “I got your medical records yesterday. You’re quite the healthy girl.” 

“Yes ma'am. I have good genes. That’s what my mom used to say.” You respond. 

Dr. Keller smiles. “Hardly even been sick. Your heats are all normal, too, correct?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” You say. “Except for a three month stretch two years ago.” 

“Yes, the heat sickness epidemic that hit America.” She says. 

You nod. “FIOT locked down completely and everyone was supposed to quarantine, but I heard a rumor that it was one of the beta food workers. She snuck out to see her alpha boyfriend and brought it in with her. We only think it was her because she disappeared not long after the first omega got sick.” 

Dr. Keller hums. “I know not everyone was so willing to take it seriously. You made a full recovery, though. No lasting side effects, I’m sure thanks to the state of the art medical facilities that FIOT keeps.” 

“Yes, ma’am. We were lucky it was just a mild case.” 

“That is lucky.” She flips through something on the tablet. “Your lab results all look phenomenal. I like to do checkups monthly, just to ensure everything is working as it should. I know the CIA gave you quite the cocktail of vaccines while you were with them.” She turns her gaze to Price. “Captain Price, I’ve sent in a request for your team’s vaccination records as well. I’m sure you’ve had everything under the sun, but I’d like to ensure there’s no risk of any accidental exposures.” 

“I don’t see a problem with that.” Price says. “If RAMC gives you any trouble, just let me know. I’ll get them for you myself.” 

“Thank you, Captain.” She says. “One last bit in this part and then we can move on. I see FIOT issued an implant before you left, as is standard practice.” 

You nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 

“Good. You’ve had more than enough time for it to take effect so we won’t have to worry about any accidental slip ups during your next heat.” 

Your cheeks warm at her words a bit. You’ve been trying to avoid thinking about that inevitable side of things. 

“And your next heat is roughly six weeks away.” She says, looking at the calendar. “Don't be surprised if it comes a little earlier now that you’re being exposed to alphas again.” 

Your stomach twists nervously at that thought. It was common for heats to be triggered early after exposure to alphas, especially after such a prolonged period without exposure to them. It wasn’t likely to start tomorrow, but you knew it could jump a week or two due to the natural pheromones alphas put off, and the instinctual call for the alpha/omega bond. 

“You’re planning for the claiming to take place during the heat?” Dr. Keller asks. 

“Yes, that’s the plan.” Price says. 

“That is the most natural time for it.” Dr. Keller says. “Of course, it is always up to omega preference in the end.” 

You don’t miss the way her eyes dart to you for a second. 

“Now that that’s over with,” She says, putting the tablet to the side. “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to do this next part with just the two of us.” 

A beat of silence passes before you realize she’s asking you. Her eyes are on you, and so are Price’s. She’s asking you. She’s asking you what you want. 

“I-I guess...yeah.” You stutter over your words, not quite sure how to answer. Is there a wrong answer? Would Price be upset if you said yes? Would Dr. Keller be upset if you said no? Your eyes turn to Price, trying to gauge his reaction. 

“It’s up to you.” He says softly. “We’re here for you.” 

You sit up a little straighter at his words, nodding your head. “Y-Yes. That’s okay.” 

Price pushes himself to stand up. “I’ll be right outside.” 

The air inside the room seems to lighten as he leaves, Dr. Keller reclining back on the couch as the door clicks shut. She pulls out a stack of papers and a pen before she looks at you. Your palms are sweating, and you’re starting to think you’d like the chair to swallow you whole. 

“This next part can feel a bit personal, but I just want you to know that everything you say in here is as confidential as you’d like it to be. Captain Price is right. I am an Omega Specialist, I’m here for you. I’m not just a doctor, I’m here to help you in all aspects of being an omega. I know FIOT teaches a lot, mainly obedience and compliance. I want to make it clear that you can be honest with me.” She holds up the stack of papers. “No one is going to see these papers but me, alright?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” You nod. 

“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” She smiles. “You can call me Dr. Keller, or Doc. You could even call me an evil bitch if you want, it won’t phase me any.” 

You can’t help the small smile that forms on your face. 

“I’ve got some questions I’d like to ask you. They’re a sort of tracker to measure how well you’re settling in and bonding with your new pack. I’d like to meet once a week until your next heat just to see how well you’re settling in. After that we can meet as often as you’d like. Sound good?” 

You nod in approval. It sounds like a lot, but you also know you’re going to have a lot of downtime, even with your pack on base. 

“Alright, let’s get started. How are you settling in? I know it’s barely been a day, but I want to know how you feel here.” 

Your heart begins to pound in your chest. How do you feel here? How do you feel after being pulled from the institute and taken to a training facility where you found out you’d be moving halfway across the world to be a military pack’s omega. 

This wasn’t what you had expected when you reached the age where you became an available omega. Most omegas at FIOT came from rich, powerful, important families and your purpose there was to be groomed into the perfect omega to return right back to that world. 

You thought you would be chosen quickly. You had expected it. With your scores and your high ratings and your status, you were what most alphas dreamed of. Yet, the years had passed and though there was some interest, nothing had ever come of it. You weren’t alone in it. There were others like you, those who excelled at being an omega, but then seemed to stall in the selection once they came of age. 

Of course, now that you look back on it, you can’t help but think it might have been done on purpose. The Omega Initiative was new, you had been told during your first briefing explaining why you were taken to a remote building somewhere outside of D.C. and greeted not by your new pack, but swathes of CIA agents. Military packs were nothing new, but they wanted to utilize the naturally formed packs and make them stronger and more stable by adding in omegas. 

Only highly skilled omegas were considered for the program, but of course you had no say in whether you were going to partake or not. They chose the omegas and they decided where you would end up. 

It wasn’t that dissimilar from being chosen from an Institute. At FIOT there was a screening process packs had to go through to be determined eligible to have access to omega files. Then the pack would have to send a neutral emissary, usually a beta, to meet the omegas in person and choose on behalf of the alpha. Most institutes don’t have that strenuous of a process, and some don’t have a process at all. In some, alphas themselves could walk in and choose an omega without even so much as a background check. 

Omegas never got a say. As soon as you were handed over to an institute, the ability to choose was taken from you. Whoever your caretakers were as a pup signed over their rights to you and the institute became your legal guardian. They dictated your life up until you joined a new pack. 

You had hoped it would be someone rich. If nothing else, you’d get to live a cushy life and you’d never have to worry about anything. When they told you what was really going to happen to you, you had almost cried. You did cry, late at night curled up in your bunk after hours of training and briefings. 

Kate picked you for this pack specifically because she knew them and she knew you could handle them and their world. 

Maybe if you had been worse at being an omega, things would have been better for you. 

Or maybe they would have been worse. 

“It’s...different.” You finally say, picking at your sleeves again. “But in a lot of ways, it’s similar to The Institute. It always takes me time to settle somewhere new.” 

“Me too.” Dr. Keller says, writing some things down. “And with the time change, it’s just so much harder. I feel like I should be in bed right now, but it’s 8 AM. Have you started nesting?” 

You shake your head. “No. I don’t even feel the urge to.” 

“That’s fine.” She says, writing something else down. “In truth, I’d be more concerned if you were.” 

Your eyebrows raise a bit. “Why?” 

“During an adjustment period for an omega, especially in a new pack, there can be something that happens called false instincts. The sudden urge to nest, a drive to bond with pack members too soon, false heats. It’s usually brought on by a sudden change in environment, like when omegas are taken from a place where they’ve spent sometimes years with no exposure to alphas and are suddenly thrown into a space with a lot of alphas. It’s more common in larger packs where you have alphas, betas, and other omegas.” 

“Could it happen in smaller packs?” You ask. 

“It’s possible, though rare. It can cause some serious issues down the line when those instincts are actually supposed to begin to show up, like adjustment sickness. I’d say if you’re starting to feel the urge to nest or bond before the first week is up, then come talk to me, alright?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” You nod. 

She smiles, turning the page. “How far have you gotten with the bonding process?” 

“Just the scenting yesterday.” You answer. 

“And how did that go?” 

You pick at the loose thread on your sweatshirt. “Fine. It was...overwhelming.” 

“They can be.” Dr. Keller says. “The new members of your pack, how are you getting along with them?” 

“Fine, I guess.” You shrug. “I like Soap and Gaz. Price, he’s...he’s nice, and Ghost...” You trail off, not sure how to answer. If she’d asked before breakfast you might have said he doesn't like you. He doesn’t want you to be part of his pack, but after what happened at breakfast...

You can’t be sure he did it for you. He could have thought that soldier was staring at Soap or Gaz or even Price. He could have thought the soldier was staring at him and was annoyed with it. He had scared off the stares at every meal you’d eaten together, but how often did they get stared at? You couldn’t know if that was a daily occurrence and he was just growing sick of it. 

He could be annoyed with you because you’re drawing in the stares. 

“I don’t know what to think about him yet.” You answer. 

She writes something else down, going through a few more questions with you. How is your appetite? How are you sleeping? Are you taking care of your needs? Do you have any concerns? 

Before you know it the hour has passed and you’re walking out the door into the fluorescent, sterile hallway of the medical center. 

“Remember, you have my number. If you need anything, I’m here for you.” Dr. Keller says as you part ways. 

You walk with Price out of the medical center, glad to be out in the fresh air. It’s not particularly warm, and the sun is hidden behind a layer of clouds, but it’s better than the medical center. 

“What do you think?” Price asks as you follow him back to the barracks. 

“I think it went well.” You say, mind still reeling from an eventful morning. You’re beginning to feel your restless night. 

“Do you like Dr. Keller?” He asks, probing a bit. 

You nod. “Yes, sir. She’s nice.” 

“Good.” He says, opening the door to the barracks for you. “I have to leave to oversee training for the next few hours.” He glances at his watch. “One of us will come get you for lunch.” 

You nod. Of course you’d find yourself alone again between meals. You’re beginning to notice a pattern. “Yes, sir.” 

His hand is warm as it settles on your shoulder, squeezing gently. You’re surprised by the touch, as small as it is. Were they too fighting the urge to get close to you, like you had this morning? 

You can still feel the warmth of his hand even after it’s disappeared and he’s gone. You head for the rec room, deciding to avoid the constricting feeling of being shut in your room for the time being. 

The TV is on when you enter, but the room is empty, playing some morning talk show. You move to the bookshelf against the wall, letting your eyes scan the titles. There's a surprising lack of military-based books shoved into the packed shelf. Of course there's a handful of old manuals and handbooks, nothing that you're particularly concerned about needing to read. You let out a sigh, standing on your toes to reach a Brandon Sanderson novel. 

You look around the room but the remote for the TV seems to be missing, and it’s too high on the wall for you to reach the power button, so you leave it on, curling up on one corner of the couch as you begin to read. 

You’re not sure how much time has passed when something moves in your peripheral. The sun has come out briefly, shining in through the windows. You look up from the book, suddenly feeling very small under Ghost’s gaze. His eyes are narrowed as he stares down at you, a thousand things flashing through your mind. Are you in his spot? Is this his book? Had he come to the rec room hoping to be alone and here you are infringing in his space? 

“Come on.” He says, his voice rougher than it had been this morning. “Lunch.” 

He’s already turned and heading out the door as you scramble up, leaving the book on the coffee table as you hurry to catch up to him. His steps are quick and wide, and you find yourself having to almost speedwalk to keep up with him. 

Your thoughts are jumbled as you follow him out of the barracks and off towards the mess. Why would they send him to get you? Was he the only one available? Yesterday they had time before lunch to return to the barracks, or had that only been because of you? Or were they perhaps hoping this might offer a chance for the two of you to bond a bit? 

Or were they entirely blind to Ghost’s disinterest in your existence? 

Perhaps they were used to it. After so long together, perhaps they just thought it was normal. If you were brave enough to bring it up, would you get a “oh that’s just how he is” in response? 

You can’t see the others as you enter the mess, Ghost leading you to the line. He stands behind you like a hulking shadow, his scent covered by the smell of gunpowder and sweat. You fill your own tray for the first time, grabbing things that look appetizing. You’ll have to get used to it eventually, even though the others insisted on doing it for the time being. When they’re not here, you’ll have to do it yourself. 

Ghost leads you to an empty table, and you opt to sit across from him. You begin to eat, taking big bites to avoid the need for conversation, not that you really thought Ghost would strike up a conversation with you. Your eyes flicker around the room nervously, glancing over the entrances time and time again, waiting for the others to arrive. 

“Stop twitching. They’re on their way.” 

The words cut straight through you and you snap your head around to face Ghost. He’s got his mask pulled up to his nose, your eyes immediately drawn to the exposed pale skin. There’s light stubble on his chin. You remember how that had felt on your own skin when he’d scented you. He’s blonde, you think, or at least has light hair judging by the color of the stubble. There’s a scar on his chin, almost hidden by the stubble. 

Your face warms as you realize you’ve been caught in your nervous fretting. Of course, you should have known he would take notice. There’s not a lot they don’t notice, you think. Though, when your survival depends on noticing even the smallest detail of anything or anyone...

You jump as a tray is set down next to yours, your eyes snapping up to see Gaz with a smile on his face. You turn back to look at Ghost, his mask pulled back down but you see a slight shake to his shoulders for a second.

Was he...laughing at you? 

Your attention is drawn from him as Gaz takes a seat next to you, sitting close enough his arm is almost brushing yours. Price and Soap taking their usual spots as well. You’re beginning to pick up on the patterns that existed around them, and their own patterns. Perhaps that will make it easier for you to fit yourself into their lives. You knew from the start they weren’t going to change to fit you into their lives. They couldn’t. You were going to have to find a way to fit into their lives. 

Gaz walks you back to the barracks after lunch, abnormally quiet as he watches you warily. He walks you to your door, leaning on the doorframe as you step inside. 

“You alright?” He asks, big brown eyes shining with worry as he looks you over. 

“Yeah.” You nod, shifting on your feet. “Just tired. I think I might take a nap.” 

He nods, and you’re sure he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn’t press any. “Alright. Happy napping.” 

You close the door as he leaves, sinking down onto the edge of the bed with a sigh. It’s been a long day and it’s only lunch. Between the probing questions from Dr. Keller and the few minutes you had spent alone with Ghost you feel exhausted. It was good to know you weren’t entirely broken in your lack of nesting instincts, and perhaps your turmoil with belonging in this place wasn’t quite as abnormal as you thought. 

What to do about Ghost.

He’s said more words to you today than he did in the entirety of the previous day. In fact, you think today might be the first time he’s spoken to you at all. You know he doesn’t approve of you, and you’d go so far as to say he doesn’t like you. You can imagine he fought the hardest against you being added to the pack. They were fine without you. It didn’t take a genius to see that. 

You’re an outsider. A civilian. A risk. 

An unneeded disruption to their lives. 

You pull your phone out of your pocket, staring at the dark screen. You know Ghost might never accept you. He won’t want to claim you, he won’t mate you, but...perhaps you might just get him to tolerate you. 

You unlock your phone, sending a quick text to Kate. 

“Can you get a book for me?”

You regret your decision momentarily as you step into the rec room. Gaz and Soap are lounged on the couch, beer bottles open on the coffee table. The TV is playing ads, their attention on each other. You almost feel as if you’re infringing upon a private moment as they laugh, half tempted to race back to your room and hide until your hunger draws you out or someone breaks down the door to get to you. 

“Hey!” Gaz’s face lights up when he sees you, Soap turning to look at you.

“Hey, bonny!” His face lights up with a smile. 

“Do you mind if I join you?” You ask, shifting nervously on your feet. 

“Not at all.” Gaz says, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. “You want a beer?” 

You shake your head. “No thank you. Never could get past the taste.” 

Soap throws his head back as he laughs, slapping Gaz’s shoulder. “I keep tellin’ ye!” 

“Yet you keep drinking it!” Gaz attempts to defend himself. 

“Cause it’s th’ only thing we got!” Soap argues, leaning around Gaz to stare at you. “So, ye a football fan, bonny?” 

“Well, I watched the World Cup a couple times as a kid.” You say. “My household was more of an American football and baseball household. Two of my older brothers played soccer, though they never were very serious about it. Mostly just did it to fulfill my dad’s physical activity extracurricular requirement.” 

“What did you do to fulfill that requirement?” Gaz asks as he takes a sip of his beer. 

“Softball. I was...not good at it.” You laugh. “I could catch and throw, but I don’t think I hit the ball a single time I was at bat.” 

Both of them chuckle, turning back to the TV as the ad ends. “Don’t worry, we’ll turn you into a proper football fan yet.” Gaz says. 

You watch the game with them, and it doesn’t take you long to realize they’re rooting for opposing teams. They explain things to you here and there in between yelling at the TV and each other. Despite how loud they are, you find yourself relaxing further and further, the tension from the last two days easing away, even as the two betas yell at each other over a soccer game. 

Gaz tenses for a second as he feels a sudden weight on his shoulder. He turns his head slightly, noticing you’ve fallen asleep, your head drooping onto his shoulder. His lips quirk up in a smile as he gently nudges Soap. 

“Wha?” Soap asks, turning to look at him. 

He jerks his head to the side, leaning back just slightly so Soap can see. A grin breaks out on the younger man’s face and he pulls out his phone. “Aww, look a’ that. Think we should wake ‘er and get ‘er tae bed?” 

“Nah.” Gaz says. “Let her sleep for now. She probably needs it.” 

You sleep soundly through overtime, Gaz not moving until the post game is over, letting you sleep as long as possible. He knows you have to be tired, after the last few days and the time difference. You looked tired today, with dark circles and droopy eyes. He hates to wake you, but he knows you can’t sleep on the couch. 

He nudges you gently, trying to rouse you. “Hey.” He nudges you again, your head finally lifting off his shoulder. 

You blink sleepily, rubbing at your eyes. You make a quiet sound in protest of being awake, eyes drooping closed again. 

“Come on, love.” He says, keeping you upright. “It’s time for bed.” 

You cover your yawn with your hand, blinking at him sleepily. “Bed?” You murmur sleepily, Gaz smiling softly at how adorable you are in this state. 

“Yeah, you’ll be more comfortable in bed.” He pushes himself to stand, hands on your arms to pull you up. 

You make another sound in protest, nearly falling against his chest when he gets you on your feet. He wraps an arm around you, letting you lean on him as he guides you back to bed, Soap cleaning up the mess they had made. 

You’re more awake once you get to your door, blinking up at him with bleary eyes. “‘S fun.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes. “Should do that more often.” 

“You’re always welcome to join us.” He says. “Get some rest. You’ve had a long week.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Night, love.” 

He waits until your door is closed before heading back down the hallway towards the rec room, a small smile on his face. 

NEXT ->

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[showf4lls]

ɞ ― make a home in you; chuckle sandwich

cw + info! fluff, headcanons / no CWs

includes! ted nivison + charlie slimecicle + jschlatt

dedication! @ivyinnit

notes! i’m currently trying to get over a breakup and am kind of struggling w yearning atmo so this request (while old) was kind of perfect thank you for dropping into my askbox, ivy!! little update: it’s been so long since i’ve received this request, i know. it should’ve been easy to get it out quickly, but school absolutely melted me this semester. i know that ivy’s deactivated now, but in the case that she comes across it, i hope you enjoy beloved <3

TED

⎼ y’all schedule out laundry days together. it’s cute as fuck okok

⎼ forehead and cheek kisses while you’re on your way out the door

⎼ if he wakes up before you, he makes your morning drink of choice just the way you like it! though, he prefers to sleep in with you

⎼ if you don’t have any important plans for the day and you’ve set alarms just for the sake of waking up at a certain time, he turns them all off before you wake up. he wants to give you an opportunity to rest as much as you need to; your body will wake up when it’s ready

⎼ brunch dates! while you guys prefer to sleep in together, you alternate between sleeping in and waking up at a reasonable hour depending on your plans. ted really likes taking you out to brunch and just walking around window shopping with you after

⎼ if either of you are going somewhere important, the other will help them get ready and run through a mental checklist with them before they go in order to make sure the person leaving has absolutely everything they need

⎼ y’all are constantly doing bits. it’s kind of confusing for your friends, but neither of you care much because you’re just having a great time

⎼ ted is an absolute gentleman always, not just in the honeymoon phase. constantly opening doors for you, helping you put your sweater on when you’re leaving the house, opening the car door for you. stuff like that

⎼ he rubber ducks for you a lot. just sits down near you and listens, letting you work out your issues by talking it out without feeling awkward about it

⎼ he’s just overall a great listener and very in-tune with your needs. only gives advice and input when you ask for it, but he always makes an effort to validate your feelings. holds you when you need him to and steps back when he senses that you need space. also really good at problem solving and helping out when you get overwhelmed or have sensory overload

– when you have bad days, he has a tendency to go above and beyond. he cooks dinner for you, makes sure your comfy clothes are all washed and clean, and generally just makes sure you have to do as little as possible so that you have the proper space to calm down

CHARLIE

– you guys have rapid fire joke contests together, usually late at night when you’re sitting on kitchen counters, snacking. you go back and forth until either the two of you are laughing so hard that it would be physically impossible to keep going, or someone can’t come up with a joke fast enough

– you try to stay on the sleep cycle but you both tend to get a little out of whack every once in a while, so you have these phases of going to sleep at a decent hour and then going to sleep when the sun is about to come up

– as such, you guys have these phases of making spontaneous runs to the grocery store or gas station to get snacks, usually cereal for some reason. you get whatever you want and charlie never lets you pay for any of it. on the later nights, you guys sometimes experiment with new flavors of things or weird snack combinations

– he has a thing about always making sure you’re warm enough. you’re a little chilly? he’s pulling his sweater off and pulling it over your head. once you’re all comfy and settled, he’s on his way to turn on the heater. your feet are cold? he’s running to get you a pair of fuzzy socks and a blanket in case your legs are cold too. even when you’re about to leave the house -- it’s colder than 50 outside? he’s scrambling around the house, gathering gloves and scarves and beanies for you to take with you in case you get cold, even if they don’t match. no other options but you’re still cold? mans is wrapping himself around you, trying to use his body heat to warm you up himself. he hates when you’re chilly and uncomfortable :[

– brings you home little presents all the time. literally anything that remind him of you. you have a collection of buttons and keychains that he’s seen while walking through shops. he also steals cool props from videos and projects to give to you. you have a little collection going

– loves pda all the time, but not always cuddling (which can sound confusing, but let me explain). he likes casual pda with you around the house, whether it be you resting your feet in his lap while you both lounge across the couch, sitting on the floor and leaning back on his legs while you watch a movie, him putting a hand on the small of your back while he moves around/behind you, holding onto your hand until you’ve walked out of reach, gently pressing his knuckles into your back while you’re laying on the other side of the bed and facing away from him. likes to be touching you when he can be but in little ways that aren’t super overwhelming (mostly because i feel like you’d both be too fidgety to just cuddle)

– some of your most domestic moments are spent in the kitchen, usually cooking dinner together. it’s light and warm and it feels so much like home that you sometimes find yourself questioning if it’s all real. he’s right there to tell you it is. but back to dinner. he loves cooking for you, and you love cooking for him. it’s all laughter and winding down from work days and gentle hugs and swaying together as he hums for you

SCHLATT

– it’s a little hard to find domestic moments with schlatt off the top of your head, but they’re there when you look for them. they’re quiet, but they’re ever present

– he sleeps a lot, meaning that you usually wake up before him. if he’s sleeping light enough to hear you get up, he’ll roll over, half asleep, wrap his arms around your middle, and pull you back into his chest, mumbling a groggy “ten more minutes, babe. i’ll be up then, jus’ ten more minutes.” it’s never just ten more minutes

– he picks you up and carries you around a lot. not in the typical way. if he thinks you’re working yourself too hard, he’ll grab you from your desk and throw you over his shoulder, dropping you onto the couch and forcing you to watch a movie with him. or you’ll be sleepily making yourself a snack in the kitchen and he’ll grab you from behind, just wrapping his arms around your middle and picking you up. he carries you, complaining and squirming, the whole way to your room and tells you it’s nap time

– you guys have a lot of nap dates. it’s an easy, sweet block of time for you guys to spend together, hazy and together while napping on and off. if one of you wakes up, you get to fondly watch the other nap until you fall asleep again. watch the easy rise and fall of their chest, run a hand through their hair, trace gentle patterns on their skin, play with their fingers, listen to the beating of your heart

– you do the dishes together. you wash and schlatt dries. sometimes you get into towel fights or start flicking water at each other with your fingers

– schlatt follows you out of bed when you get up in the middle of the night. he’d never admit it, but he has a hard time sleeping without you. he hates waking up to a cold bed. so when the clock blinks 3:17 and he feels around to find nothing beside him, even if your side of the bed is still warm, he huffs and gets up. pads through the house with puffy, tired eyes until he finds you. wraps his arms around you from behind and rests his chin on your head. “what are you doin’ outta bed?” he never waits for your response, just starts ushering you back to your room

– really likes seeing you in his clothes, again, not that he would ever admit it. he’ll purposely “forget” to do your laundry so that you have to start wearing his hoodies, tee shirts, sweats, etc. it just gives him the warm fuzzies, seeing you be so comfortable and cozy in his clothes

– hangs on you a lot on days when there’s nothing to do. he’s pretty idle about it, too, kind of like a character accessory. sometimes you just have to go around the house doing your stuff with this big man hanging off of you because you don’t have the heart to tell him to leave you alone for an hour or two to get your work done

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Can we have bestfriend headcanons for rollo please???? i need to be friends with this guy so bad you don't understand

***Warning: Glorious Masquerade spoilers in the final few headcanons!***

Curiouser and Curiouser...

The best way to sum up this relationship is that Rollo is the mom friend, and you are his child. (If you were to ask Rollo, he would say you're an idiot, but you're his idiot.)

From an outsider's perspective, it's hard to tell that you're friends at all. He always has that hard-to-read face on him, plus those grimaces he gets whenever the slightest annoyance or inconvenience makes itself known.

You've gotten used to his quirks though, so you can read his emotions a lot better than most. When the corners of his mouth twitch, that's him trying to smile! When he taps a finger against his arm? He's thinking hard about something.

He dislikes it when you call him "bestie" (so, of course, you make sure to do it often). Rollo corrects you with his name each and every time.

He finds physical affection just as repulsive. Rollo's constantly shying away from your touch, insisting that it's unhygienic and immodest to even so much as brush shoulders by accident.

There was an incident when you hugged him once and he got oddly quiet, then asked "... What is this?" to which you had casually responded, "Affection."

"Disgusting," Rollo had declared, handkerchief to his nose. "... Do it again."

He's one of those old-fashioned people who insists on keeping in contact via letters and cards instead of text messages, email, and/or social media. Rollo claims that stuff "rots your brain cells" and "promotes a vain, degenerate lifestyle".

You thought it silly and inefficient at first, but over time you've come to appreciate the time and thought that comes with each letter. Receiving a note from Rollo is the best part of your day--you love catching up with him and sending him back updates of your very own.

He's a busy guy and follows a strict schedule, so more often than not you're the one that's following him around as he does his various tasks. You lend him a hand too, though Rollo takes care to not burden you too much. These are his responsibilities, so he should take charge of them.

You occasionally climb up the bell tower with him (the view up there is amazing!) and all the gargoyles clamor to greet you. Rollo has to remind them not to overwhelm the guest.

When there is time, you sit down at a cafe and share a meal. Rollo introduces you to his favorite places and makes recommendations (though he usually gets the exact same thing). You try to push him to vary up his diet a bit more, tearing off pieces of your own lunch or offering him bites of whatever it is you're having (even though he insists he'll have none of that).

One day, you caught Rollo parading through the streets on horseback. He introduced his steed to you, instructing you on how to safely pat it and feed it an apple from your hand. The horse seemed to like you, so Rollo hoisted you up and let you ride it around the city for the rest of the day.

He's still not very good at expressing himself. When you sense that he's feeling down in the dumps, it takes quite a bit of coaxing to get him to talk about it with you (if at all). In his mind, he shouldn't be troubling others with his own matters.

Sometimes you're not successful at convincing him to open up, so you settle for giving a gentle reminder that you'll be there for him no matter what. You wouldn't want to push him to talk when he's not ready to!

... On the other hand, when Rollo wants to talk, he'll rant and rave for what seems like forever. You patiently nod your head and listen to everything he spews out, from his express hatred of a certain lizard to how the local goats almost ate his stationary set.

There are rare times, though, when Rollo shares his passions and ambitions with you. The relaxing gardening he has been doing as of late, how beautiful the Bell of Salvation is today, his plans for the future... It's in these moments that you can truly appreciate how solemn and thoughtful he can be.

Rollo often nags you for little things: there's a crease in your shirt, your room is slightly messy, there's a hair out of place, etc. But hey, it's fine. You know he does it lovingly, even if the comments come with a slight frown.

He also tends to lecture you about your own safety, often warning you to keep away from "suspicious individuals" (and, of course, mages). Rollo lets you know that if anyone gives you trouble, you should inform him right away and he'll come storming over to give them hell. Yes, he's the overprotective friend that will throw himself into the crossfires to defend your honor--

This man comes to hangouts with everything you could possibly need in case of an emergency. Got a scrape? Boom, first aid kit. (He even patches you up personally.) Hands dirty? Hand sanitizer and wet wipes for the rescue. You start calling him “dad” as a joke every time he produces exactly what you need.

Rollo has the tendency to (sternly) speak up for you, especially in cases when you're too meek to speak up for yourself. It has big "EXCUSE ME! They asked for no pickles" energy.

Once a year, you join Rollo for a very special trip. You always stop by the same florist's shop, always watch him select the same bouquet of white lilies, always walk quietly alongside him down to the local cemetery. You don't follow him to the grave, but you let him know he can take as long as he needs with the visit, that you'll wait for him at the gates.

You watch the clouds slowly pass by and the sky change colors from cornflower blue to the shades of sunset. Night has started to trickle in when you hear his approaching footsteps. The flower bouquet is gone, deposited as an offering to a boy that has become one with the stars.

Rollo emerges, and you pretend to not notice the wetness to his eyes, the silvery shine upon his cheeks. You know if you point it out, he'll only become defensive and deny it.

"Ready to go?" you ask every year.

"... Yes," he replies, just the same as always. (Rollo will then try to subtly wipe away at his tears.) "Thank you for accompanying me. I do apologize for imposing on your time."

"Don't," you tell him. "I've always got your back, just like you've always got mine. That's what friends are for, right?"

[tetsuskei]

‘too-too’ - kuroo tetsurō [fluff]

notes: repost. also inspired by work (yay capitalism) and self indulgent. wrote this for a piece of mind, if you will.

warnings: toxic work habits, etc, bad title names, not edited completely

word count: 1.4k

“is everything alright?”

your eyes snap up to your coworker, kuroo tetsurō. he leans against your cubicle. tall, muscular figure moving to look down at you with concern.

you blink, fingers pausing their movements over your keys. “what do you mean?”

kuroo is a strange individual. he’s funny, and nerdy, and a little clumsy sometimes (you’ve seen him burn his hand one too many times with hot coffee). but he has a good heart. one probably made of gold. he’s always genuine when it comes to his actions.

“i’ve just been noticing the boss has been piling a lot of work on you as of lately…i didn’t know if maybe you were overwhelmed.” he suggests, shrugging. he stuffs his hands in his pockets and peers over to the stack of files on your desk. “that all need to get done today?”

you sigh, running your hand through your hair, “no, but they will need to by the end of the week. i can handle it all though, with a couple of late nights. i appreciate your concern, kuroo.” you send him a weak smile.

at work you’re known as the one who can handle anything and everything with no complaints. your boss seems to hold you in high regards to it, coworkers are jealous of your ability, and your family has always been proud of how hardworking you are.

the only problem is, people take advantage of this. they ask for your help on minor things, interrupt you when you’re clearly busy, or assume you’ll have the time and tell your boss you’ll take care of it (without your notice).

kuroo is one of the only people who doesn’t do that. he genuinely comes up to you for conversation and asks about you. he’s taken you out to lunch (usually by force to drag you away from your work), brought you coffee, and always made sure you’re okay.

you don’t want to say his actions have caused a small crush to develop, but you’d be a horrible, horrible liar. after spending so much time with him, you begin to see just how handsome his features are. how sharp and angular his jawline and cheekbones are, how he laughs and has dimples appear, how his hazel eyes sparkle with mischief whenever he tells a (horrible) joke—

suddenly fingers are snapping in front of you and you’re brought back to the present.

“you sure you’re good?” kuroo looks down at you with concern and you feel your heart swell a bit. “you’re spacing out.”

“peachy!” you respond, and feel your cheeks get warm. you hope he doesn’t notice. “I couldn’t be any better!”

his perceptive eyes pensively train on you. “well, I’ll be on my way then. don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything.”

“sure.” you nod, smiling.

and just as stubborn as you are, kuroo is more stubborn.

for the next few days, the man is always lingering around when you’re working late.

“what a coincidence, i’m here late, too! need a buddy?” and he’s already invading his way into your space before you can say ‘no’.

you feel as if there’s something he isn’t telling you, but you don’t ask.

the two of you share ordered dinner, chatting and bantering. time goes a lot faster with him, and you think it’s because he’s made you more productive (despite his antics), but you also know it’s because it’s him.

“you know it’s okay to ask for help, right?” kuroo points out again one day. “you don’t have to take on everything by yourself.”

“well, what do you know?” you say spitefully.

he senses your offense, and he knows quickly explains, “i-i’m not saying you can’t handle things, but you shouldn’t work yourself to death. i mean, you’re amazing at what you do, and—“

“look, i’ve been in your shoes before, and i know the feeling all too well. i just know it doesn’t feel great.” he finishes.

“thank you, kuroo.” you smile, “and I’m sorry for snapping at you…maybe i’m just tired and need a break.”

he perks up at this, “then why don’t we go do something?”

you shake your head, “i can’t…i have to finish this.”

“don’t worry. it’s already done.” he assures.

your mouth falls open, “how…?”

he laughs nervously, “well, don’t hate me when I say this…”

you narrow your eyes teasingly. “can’t promise that. but how bad can it be?”

“i rallied up those coworkers you talked to and told them you weren’t available to help them because we’re going on a date.” he confesses, scratching the back of his head. “may have also threatened them to not take advantage of you again…”

you sputter, choking on your food, “a date? like…a romantic date?”

“if that’s what they assume, then yes. which by the way, did you know people think we’re dating?”

there’s another strike to your heart, “they do?! but…how? why?”

he hides his face in his hand, cheeks a light pink, “dunno, maybe it’s because i spend most of my time with you…”

you’re shocked at his words, feeling like you need someone to pinch you. “really?”

“really.” he nods, leaning in towards you. “i thought it was obvious but I guess not…” he laughs.

you shake your head. “i didn’t want to assume anything, so i just thought you were being nice.”

“i mean, yes and no. i always like helping people, but i’d really use any excuse to talk to you.” he admits with a goofy grin. “but i’m sorry if i’ve made you uncomfortable in anyway.”

“no…i just didn’t think you’d feel that way about me, too.”

“‘too’?” he parrots.

you’re quiet for a moment and then say, “well maybe i have feelings for you and wasn’t going to confess unless i knew you liked me back. you do, right?”

“yes! i like you too—too!” he exclaims, probably louder than he means to. “i mean—“

you giggle, “i like you too-too, tetsu.”

he relaxes, like a weight has come off his shoulders. “well, as your date, i say we leave here. one more file to look at and i’ll cut my own head off.” he says.

“agreed.” you nod, standing up alongside him.

you both pack your things up and soon make your way outside. you’re brutally reminded of the cold autumn air as you feel it hit you in the faces.

a shiver comes over you, and you shrink within your own coat, trying to retain any and all warmth.

“here,” kuroo quickly wraps his scarf around you and you quickly smell mint and some form of expensive cologne. you bury you face in it and feel more at ease.

“thank you.” you gush.

he hums, “no problem.”

the two of you quickly find yourselves in an arcade. you both play games and you quickly learn how 1. competitive, and 2. horrible kuroo is at games. to soften his sour mood, you do win him prizes on his behalf.

“i haven’t had fun like this in awhile!” you beam. the two of you leave the arcade, kuroo offering to walk you home.

“i can tell, you haven’t stopped smiling since we left.” he says, chuckling.

“thanks to you, i guess.” you joke.

“you’re welcome, i’ve been losing on purpose just for you.” he admits.

you blink, not convinced. “sure.”

kuroo pouts, “it’s true,” he gestures down to his bag full of toys, “worked out in my favor, too.”

“right, tetsu.” you snicker, smirking.

the ravenette feels his heart swell at your words. “heh. well, more important prize is you, though.” he says cheekily.

“corny, but I’m flattered.” and before he can say another (horrible) pun, you pull him to your height by his work tie before abruptly kissing him on the lips.

this definitely throws the man off as he stumbles a bit, gasping against your mouth in surprised. his lips are soft and a bit chapped, his mouth tasting like candy from the arcade.

when you pull away, you say, “thank you for treating me to an evening like this. i didn’t realize how much i needed it.”

he slips his hand into yours, his large palm enveloping your smaller one in comforting warmth.

“of course. i just think someone as pretty as you shouldn’t have to worry about things so much.” he says, a faint blush appearing across his cheeks. “you shouldn’t let them walk all over you. make sure you have boundaries.”

you lean onto his shoulder, squeezing his hand. “you’re absolutely right. but you know what?”

he looks at you, “what?

“the only boundary that was worth crossing, was the one involving you.” you confess.

and in kuroo’s honest opinion, you couldn’t have been more right.

[listofwhyyouloveher]

How the gang are when there first in love/ in a relationship

Summary: The Outsiders in the honeymoon phase. Warnings: bad relationships (only because they don't know what they're doing) Author's Note: not quite sure what this ask meant but i tried my best lol

PONYBOY CURTIS Being in a relationship with Ponyboy is like always being in the puppy love phase. Because you both are so young, you don't really understand how 'true relationships' work. He's taking you on dates and stuff but you two have never had any serious issue because its not a super serious relationship and you two never have much to fight about. When you first start dating he's always picking flowers for you, and although that slows over time the sentiment never fades and he always has the 'couple aesthetic' in mind, i.e. doing things that he would see other couples do just for the sake of looking like a couple and acting like one. JOHNNY CADE Being in a relationship with Johnny is hard, he's vunerable but also emotionally unavalible at the same time. But he tries his best to be a good boyfriend, especially at the beginning of the relationship. He doesn't take you on 'dates' per say, rather shows up at your house or where you're hanging out when he has free time, you two will just chat for a while or fall asleep. He doesn't want to introduce the gang to you, he feels as if its a part of him he doesn't want you to see yet, and your a part of him that he doesn't want the gang to see. SODAPOP CURTIS Soda has been in only a couple of relationships, despite his charm, and they were usually playground relationships, things that sparked in elementary because of silly reasons. He has a lot of trust issues, especially from Sandy, and he's always hesitant when starting a relationship and even taking the relationship up a notch. Because of that, he's a little more reserved when you're dating, but sometimes he can break out of his shell and be calm and relaxed around you. STEVE RANDLE Steve's been in plenty of relationships, mostly when he was in middle school and beginning of highschool and they never usually meant much.

He's always tried to put in a little effort, he's just not sure what he needs to do, especially because there aren't many good relationship models around him. He tries to bring you flowers once and a while, and get you gifts and small outings, but beyond that he doesn't understand. There's always a lack of communication and sometimes feelings are hurt. TWO BIT MATHEWS Two Bit is always looking for a girlfriend, he likes the idea of it. He has very high standards and expects you to know what he wants immedietly. He's always very open about things, especially his family life because he loves them a lot. You also get to meet his sister pretty early on in the relationship. Expect a lot of joke-making, that's his personality. He's got a whole load of jokes stacked up in his mind for the right time and place. P.S. please laugh or he will get sad. DARRY CURTIS Darry really tries hard to be the best he can in a relationship. But he's balancing a lot of things mentally and sometimes he gets overwhelmed. He never takes his anger out on you but he does drift away with out reason until you seek him out, which isn't a really healthy way to maintain a relationship. Regardless, you tell him that you'll give him space when he needs but he must tell you that he wants it or else both parties are going to be hurt. He understands and tries his best from then on. DALLAS WINSTON I love him, but he's going to be a shit boyfriend. Especially after all the things went down with Sylvia, he's got loads of trust issues too. Always making sure you don't talk to anyone that he doesn't fuck with. He get's very possessive and jealous, but he doesn't fight others like a lot of people think but instead takes it out on you. He gets really pissed a lot of the time and you guys take a lot of breaks early in the relationship. He'll only let you wear his St. Christopher once he trusts you enough, he says it's because you could run off with them or something. It's really hard to win his trust but with enough time you do it.

[rubyceleste]

I came here after ao3, not before leaving a comment there and I'm clearly not done.. so I wanted to ask, as you clearly did the perfect characterization of Carlos in ITSL, do you read others fics of "bottom Carlos" as well? Like it's been so long I'm into F1 fics but not one "not-cringe" bottom Carlos fic I've crossed over... Like not with Charlos nor Versainz ... I want this so bad....

So the achingly embarrassing question "do you have some reccs?" (Cuz Carlos is freaking bambi)

CarCar, Varsainz, Charlos I'm up for anything >^^<

thank you so much, that is a huge compliment ! i'm really happy you're connecting with itsl carlos (as i've mentioned in the past, he's very precious to me). your comment on ao3 was also wonderful to read, i'm really thankful you took the time to let me know, how you felt, it means a lot and encourages me to keep writing ❤️

i do read a bit of everything as long as the writing resonates with me, but i can recommend you some fics i've enjoyed which would fit your preference (or just kind of, i'm just recommending my favs really...)

the better half of a good time (by @antimonyandthyme) carcar

a fire you can't (won't) put out (by @antimonyandthyme) carcar

two works and an author i cannot recommend you enough (i highly recommend you also check their other stuff out, fantastic writing !). the second one is my kryptonite, i come back to it all the time just to feel something (it's rough out there)

a bad recompense for your love (by @steviethenarwhal) charlos

one of my favs ever, the content is not explicit but if you're looking for excellent writing, a compelling story and the need to rip your heart out in frustration one moment and overwhelming love the other, i really encourage you to read this one. the characterisation on both ends is extremely well-done.

crash landers (by @janinaduszejko) carcar

reckless attention (by @janinaduszejko) carcar

you've surely heard of the first one, the carcar scriptures in the flesh, it is a vers but please if you haven't done it yet, do give it a chance because it is a gorgeous, gorgeous work. the second one is also my beloved, one of my first carcar fics (if not the first ?).

cheek to cheek (so to speak) (by @testarossa) carcar

also one of my firsts, super tense and sensual, absolutely love this one.

breaking code of conduct (by @seasidefae) carcar

super sweet, fun and sexy, it is also a vers but please do give it a go!

game, set, match (by @wormeo-and-juliette) carcar

this one is so fun, i'm sure you'll enjoy it. super cute and absolutely hilarious, some lines are so clever and witty, pretty sure you'll love it.

there you go ! this is an exhaustive list of some of my favourites, i hope it'll satiate your story-appetite ❤️ sadly do not have any versainz or more charlos, but if anyone has recs, feel free to share

(on a side-note, i wouldn't call any work "cringe", we all have our preferences but writing should always be fun and self-indulgent ! know you didn't mean any harm though, and your comments, asks and love will always be appreciated, so thank you once more, and i loved answering this)

[kolyubov]

MR KRAAAAAABS I HAVE AN IDEAAA 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️😇😇😇 plspls may i request a part 2 of reader faking her emotions, that reader x nikolai one shot yk 🦍🦍 bit unfortunately we get the bad ending ☹️☹️ she just snaps one day, grabs a rope and 😭 (i have a cinematic trauma since most of my favorite characters hanged themselves) (ily sayori<3)

Feel completely free to ignore this 🙏 and if ur accepting it take your time 😇🙏

tw suicide attempt. please, do not keep reading if this kind of content triggers you.

Nikolai with a reader who archives his goals. (p2? bad ending lmao)

✧ pairing: Nikolai Gogol x Fem!Reader

✧ word count: 1.3k

✧ contents: sfw, angst?, obsessive and controlling Nikolai, slight manipulation, reader is referred to as "princess" once. (if I missed anything, please tell me)

✧ author's note: idk if this is as good as the first one :(( spoiler: I didn't write the reader dying, close, but no,,, hope u still enjoy it either way<3 btw, you mean sayori from dokidoki, right? I never played dokidoki, but I like Monika…….🧎‍♀️ sayori seems nice though! she's cute 🫶

Nikolai has been very clingy after what happened— He was always near you, touching you; holding your hand, having an arm around your waist, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck and rubbing circles on your skin, or hugging you from behind.

His hands needed to be on you, afraid that the second he's not watching, you'll disappear from his life.

When he's not physically there, your phone vibrates almost every five minutes with a message from him asking how are you doing, what class are in you right now, if you have eaten— Stuff like that.

There wasn't any second you could be alone, and it was becoming more and more overwhelming.

Of course, you understand that he's worried and that he doesn't want to lose you; but this is borderline obsessive, and as much as a part of you likes being taken care of, another part of you is afraid that this might get even worse.

He was trying to tie you with him; sinking you deeper into the darkness of the cage that was holding you back. The cage of your emotions.

You didn't know it, but he even has a location tracker that shows him on his phone exactly where you are— It eases his mind because what if, after knowing that there wasn’t a way out, you try to be free by other methods?

Nikolai knows you won't dare to kill him like he is was planning to do with Fyodor; There was no possible scenario in which you would stab him to death or poison his food. Plus, he could easily see through your intentions and it won't be easy to kill someone like him.

But you could hurt yourself.

If it wasn't him, then the only way to be free was by shutting down your whole system. By ending your life.

Of course, he was not going to let it happen. He's going to be watching your every move until he's sure you won't do something risky like that.

For now, he is taking good care of you.

“Whatcha doing? I'm about to go home. I want to make a quick stop to buy you snacks.”

You giggle on the other side of the phone and that's enough to make Nikolai excited. He wanted to be in your arms, smooching your face, feeling your warmth, hearing you laugh. God, his heart is beating too fast right now.

“I'm just… doing nothing.” You walk around the apartment as you speak with him, trying to sound excited.

“I miss you, baby. Can't wait to cuddle with you today…”

Ah, you hated how inevitably you felt warm and fuzzy inside.

“You love me, right, dove?”

Yes, you do. You love him so much that it's suffocating you. Nikolai is suffocating you. But you can't help but need more of him, his attention, his love, his touch. All of that awakens a bunch of emotions that you wish to get rid of so badly.

“Mhm… I do.” You whisper, and you can hear him giggle through the speaker.

“Wait for me, love.” He smooches the screen of his phone before ending the call, then, you throw your phone to the couch.

It seems like Nikolai didn't notice.

Suddenly, Tears rolled down your cheeks. You place your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs as the crying intensifies to the point where your chest hurts and your knees buckle, making you fall to the floor. You curse under your breath for being so fragile.

God. Why this fucking feelings don't stop even before your last breath? Why do they only get worse? Love, anger, sadness, disgust. It's all so overwhelming that you're starting to feel dizzy and nauseous.

Slowly, you stand up, still trembling and with small steps you walk to your room, finding the rope you placed on the bed a few minutes ago before Nikolai called. A small breathy chuckle leaves your lips, but it sounds more like a broken whimper.

You stand before the bed, grabbing the rope with trembling hands, caressing the material— The image of Nikolai's face after he comes home, opening the door of the room to meet with your lifeless body, is stuck in your mind.

How his eyes would widen, how he would desperately pull you out of the rope and hold you in his arms, close to his chest as he cries and curses himself for not being able to do something to stop you. His knuckles would caress your cheeks while his tears fell to your face.

The thought of it hurts your heart.

A part of you wants to stay, to keep enjoying your time with him, however, the pit in your stomach was becoming unbearable.

You felt pity for Nikolai.

But you'll finally enjoy that freedom you wished so much, you'll finally get rid of these emotions that consume your very soul, you—

“Think you can escape me, huh?”

A deep voice tickles your ear, and the second you turn around you find Nikolai smiling, as if the sight in front of him was amusing. You instinctively take a step back, letting out a yelp as you fall to the bed.

“Darling, you know that is not the way to cope with your temporary problems.”

How did he get here so quickly when a few minutes ago you were on a call with him?

Right. Nikolai has his coat. Probably he ended up noticing your fake excitement and decided to go home to check on you first instead of going to a supermarket and buying you snacks.

He crawls to the bed, taking the rope from your hands and throwing it away.

“I told you, didn't I? You won't leave me.”

Nikolai's voice gets deeper as he speaks. He seizes your jaw a bit too harshly. Glaring down at you with a serious expression only to lean down and kiss your lips, then the tip of your nose, and finally your forehead.

“It hurts me… that you want to leave me so badly…” He snorts, looking away from you and biting his lower lip, holding back from something that you weren't exactly sure.

You look away as well, feeling ashamed, among many other emotions that curse your body right now.

What if Nikolai hates you now?

That was even worse— If the only human being that cares about you hates you, you wouldn't bear the pain that'll come along with that.

As your brain keeps creating possible scenarios that might happen after this incident, tears spill from your eyes down your cheeks and you hide your face with your hands; palms muffling the small sobs that escape your lips like before.

Suddenly, you feel a weight on top of you.

You peek through the gap of your fingers and meet with Nikolai’s face nuzzling against your chest; his nose tickling your collarbone. Large and strong arms that had carried you like a princess before, are now wrapped tightly around your waist.

“Don't leave me… I love you so much, please…” He whines against your skin, almost as if he wants to sink inside you and be enveloped in your embrace. “Please, dove, pleasepleaseplease…”

Another sob leaves your mouth— Nikolai's fingers clutch around your ribs, nails almost digging desperately into you.

Slowly, you slide your hands to his back, rubbing it in small circles as you keep crying against the top of his head, his white locks feel soft against your cheek.

Instead of comforting you, he was the one being comforted.

“You're not going anywhere, are you?” He looks up at you. It didn’t sound like a threat, but you knew it actually was.

You shook your head; it's not like you have an alternative.

Nikolai sighs, nuzzling back against you and closing his eyes. After noticing you stopped caressing his back, he nudges your side as an indication to keep doing it.

“…Dove, you’re mine… If anything, I should be the one to take your life away from you…” He mumbles, giggling as your breath hitches at his words.

You can't escape him anymore.

© 2024 pinklacydovey

[kidrauhlschik]

4. Tangled Memories - Lee Know AU

Post Traumatic Amnesia (PTA) is a transient state of confusion, disorientation and memory loss that occurs immediately following a traumatic brain injury. PTA is sometimes also referred to as post traumatic confusional state and can occur from the moment of injury until the return of continuous memory.

The accident was a tragedy.

But it was the best tragedy to ever happen to you.

-

-

Final Part - See pt 1, 2, & 3 on the Masterlist linked above

Warnings: angst, f!reader, enemies to lovers, drunk driving, gaslighting, Fighting, yelling, cursing, angst, heartbreak, lies, angst, accidents, not proofread, minho is mean, lmk if I missed anything!!

Words: 2.2k

-

You find the note the next morning and immediately crumple it up and throw it in the trash. Since when has Minho been so sentimental and needy?

You can understand that he's over whatever rivalry he two of you used to have, but you're not. Up until the day before, you thought Minho was good, perfect even, but opening your eyes and remembering all of the awful things he's made you deal with made things so much different.

For starters, you can't believe that you trusted him. He's just as manipulative and sneaky as he's always been. He took advantage of your vulnerable state and made you depend on him. He would have been okay with you dying that day and all of the sudden he's not.

Yet, he also coaxed you down from your panic attacks, he made sure to always available for when you needed him, he stayed with you around the clock when you were injured. Thing is, you wouldn't have gotten injured if it wasn't for him.

The back and forth is overwhelming so instead of pondering on the fact you go to check your phone, which probably made things even worse.

Chris: He told me. Im so sorry. Its all my fault.

Innie: Wanna talk? I heard what happened.

Seungmin: I can't believe you didn't tell us you were remembering stuff.

Hyunjin: I'm sorry for keeping you in the dark. We need to talk.

Lix: Hey wanna come over? I can make us brownies and we can talk things out.

Changbin: Are you okay?

Jisung: Minho is really sorry. I am too. We all are. Can we talk it out?

Chris: Please?

Not wanting to deal with everything right now, you shut your phone off and begin your day. It's time to clean up and enroll in classes again. You should probably catch up with your other friends as well, you'd been very distant because you were always hanging out with Minho. It's best to keep busy and avoid thinking about that snake.

Tragically, as snakes would have it, Minho manages to slither his way inside your thoughts on a regular basis for the next month. As much as you hate it, you couldn't help seeing him in everything. He was in your sheets, in your kitchen, next to you on the couch, in the park, in the flowers, and in the sunset. Everything reminded you of him, every version of him, the bad and the good, and you're not sure which one you prefer.

Classes were to start in a week, through your circumstances, the school was able to let you enroll late to your classes, but you were now a year behind. There's so much to catch up on, yet your brain allows something to distract you from your studies, and that something is always Minho. He hasn't made an effort to make contact with you, which reassures you that whatever he had going on was all made up in his head. Maybe it was all a moment of hysteria.

The hysteria felt awfully real to you though. You can't help but doubt yourself and ask if the sleezy, ignorant, cold Lee Minho actually felt something for you, or if you felt something for him. That's why it's better to keep busy rather than to sit and ponder.

Chris: Wanna come over? It'll just be me and Jisung :)

You had forgiven the guys awfully quickly for your predicament. You could see why they'd put Minho in that situation in a moment of anger, they didn't even know that you were remembering your past, and although you wished they would have stepped up more to impede the shit show that happened with Minho, you can tell that they're sorry. They're your best friends after all, but you were still keeping them at an arms distance for the time being. Except for Hyunjin. He always encouraged you to chase after Minho and you couldn't help but too feel betrayed at that. No one else pushed you into his arms but Hyunjin did, and who knows? Maybe if he hadn't, you could've remained civil with Minho instead of playing house.

When you walk inside of Chan's dorm, the smell of warm pizza welcomes you like a warm hug.

"Hey! How are you?" Jisung asks from the couch beside Chan.

"I'm good, thank you." You offer a small smile in return as you take off your coat to lay it on the nearest clean, flat surface.

The place is a mess, there a cups everywhere, the trash is overflowing, and the entire floor had become a laundry basket. "I don't keep you guys in check for a year and all of the sudden your place becomes a pigs den?" You laugh while sprawling yourself on Chris' couch, throwing your legs over Jisung.

"Hey! It wasn't us, it was -" Jisung gets cut off by Chan discretely pinching his leg under the blanket. The younger winces but remains silent.

"Yeah, Jisung's been a mess lately." Chris smiles apologetically.

"Haha. Yeah, sorry." Jisung adds.

You couldn't help but feel as if they were hiding something, but before you could question them, the front door swings open.

"Jisung. What the hell do you want? I was in the middle of practice." The second Minho spots you, he freezes like he did before. Loss for words, he just stares at you as if he'd seen a ghost. He wants to walk out and get as far away from you as he can, but he also wants to run up to you and hold you in his arms. He wants to apologize over and over again, he wants to beg for your love, but he knows better than to think that you'd accept him.

You immediately hop off the couch, quickly on guard, wishing that he wasn't standing in front of you. Seeing him in your memories was very different than seeing him in real life. He looked thinner, tired, and restless. The Minho you had been seeing for the past year looked happy and healthy. Now he was drowning in his hoodie, his hair was messy, and his expression read exhaustion. You couldn't help the worry that seeped its way into your brain.

"What are you doing here?" You ask.

"I live here." Still staring at you in shock, unfortunately, it seemed that he'd gotten even better at hiding his emotions.

"What about your place?"

"I got kicked out for not maintaining the place while I lived with you."

Was he implying that this was your fault?

"You never had to live with me in the first place." An argument. Something you were both so used to, now caused an ache in both of your chests. Your words catch at the base of your throat, and Minho doesn't even have the energy to argue.

Minho finally takes his eyes off of you, scanning the area, looking at the mess he'd made at his friends dorm. The past month had been hell for him. He kept on beating himself up anytime he had a second alone with his thoughts. The only good thing he had done since he left your place was joining the school's dance team, hoping that doing something he enjoyed could take his mind off of you. He was wrong. Every time he showed up to practice, he remembered that you were the only reason he was doing this, not giving up on his dream. He was undereating and overworking himself to the bone, which was not the healthiest coping mechanism but the other option was to rot away in the couch.

He nods and makes a move to turn away, leaving the dorm again.

"Don't walk away Lee Minho!" He pauses his steps but doesn't turn around.

"You wanted me to leave."

"It's not that easy! I don't know what I want okay? I'm in shambles. I want you to leave, but I want you to come back right after. I want you to cry but it hurts to see you in pain. I trust you but I hate you. Worst of all I love you, but I don't even know what's real anymore." You throw your arms up in desperation, not even realizing that Jisung and Chris had left the area long ago. "I just want to know what's real."

Minho finally turns to look at you with an expression that can best be read as indignation. Or was it desperation?

"You want to know what's real? The real thing is that I want to know every part of you, every scar, every bruise, I want to trace the map of you! All of you and every thing about you. My fingers a compass, and your freckles the constellations that I will chart in my heart. That way, when I close my eyes I'll have you in my stars forever, because guess what? You're already in everything else! You're in the sun, in the air, and in my reflection. I'm drowning in the memory of you and the worst part is that I can't even see you!" Minho walks towards you but you stay frozen in place.

"It's never been the way you looked, it was always the way you were. You were like me, both broken and angry. It wasn't until I saw you behind the walls and I was able to see you bare. I would have fallen in love with you with my eyes closed, but I never could because we never allowed each other the chance. You told me that you didn't want to be the shell of who you are, so why can't you let yourself be happy?" He's face to face with you know, a mere couple of feet apart. He was no longer loud, but more so calm. His plea turning into a confession.

"From the moment I saw you making a fool of yourself in that park, I knew that you were worth the broken heart. Finish breaking my heart, and you'll find yourself inside. I'm sorry, but I'll never find the right words for you. You are my everything, always, and even that is not enough."

"Minho stop." Somewhere in the middle of his speech, your eyes decided to betray you and tears were now freely streaming down your face.

"I'm glad I found you, the real you, because before you, I never knew what to wish for. Want me to be honest?" He laughs and runs his fingers through his hair. "I'm terrified of letting you in. I'm scared to see myself more clearly through your eyes, wondering if I'm good enough. I already lost you, but the truth is that not having you scares me more than all the other truths of love. So please, look at me in the eyes and tell me that I'm not being real right now."

He's mere inches away from you, searching for an answer on your face.

So many thoughts but no clear answer runs through your mind, you're just overwhelmed by his confession, the situation, his mere presence, is not letting you think clearly whatsoever. So you break eye contact and make a bee line for the door. While holding the door knob, you stop and say your last words.

"Sorry Minnie."

Minnie.

The one term of endearment that Minho allows to give him hope.

-

Of course on the first day of class you'd be running late. You hated being late and the stress of studying is weighing heavy on your shoulders. How could the morning be any worse?

Luck is a funny thing though. Just when you think things couldn't get worse, they always do.

You bump into someone that simply continues walking, making you drop all of your notecards and papers on the floor. You immediately bend down to begin collecting everything, but there is so much going on around you. People playing around, others trying to find a seat, and more reuniting with their friends after the summer. So much people, so many noises, this is why you're never late to anything. The stress begins to build even more, to the point where your hands begin to shake, needing to move faster in order for you to find your own seat.

His hand comes out of nowhere. Body shoving away the people that were stepping on your stuff, rushing to pick everything up to help you. He hands everything he collected in a neat pile and you cautiously take it. He then turns to the nearest desk on his left, grabbing two coffees and handing you one.

"Hey, I'm Lee Minho. Looks like we're in the same class. Wanna sit together?"

Starting from where you left off was messy, but maybe starting from the beginning wouldn't be so bad. It will take time, but it might be worth it. If everything was real, it will definitely be worth it and more.

"I'm Y/N. I'm down, but I have to warn you, I can be a bit mean at times."

He laughs and hovers a hand on your lower back to guide you to the two empty seats next to each other.

"I wouldn't change that for the world." He gives you a small smile that could also be a smirk. He had the audacity to be cocky?

Despite that, you can't help the little ray of sunshine that warms you from the inside.

“I hope you mean that Lee Minho.”

“I always mean what I say.”

-

A/N: okay, i am not in love with the ending but honestly if it was up to me, i would've ended it on the last chapter. I'm trying something new w happy endings. Thank you so much for reading!!

TAGLIST: @stanstraykidsskz @weareapackofstrays @linos-kitten @cassidymb121

[lesuccube]

➚ 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 : ꜱᴛᴇᴠᴇɴ ɢʀᴀɴᴛ — ᴛᴀꜱᴛᴇ ᴏꜰ ꜱᴜɴꜱʜɪɴᴇ

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 — how's life like with the sweetest british man ever ?

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 — fluff infection , mild smut virus

𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 — not beta'd , constructive criticism is welcomed . reblogs and comments are appreciated .

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 — 1.6k

you and steven have been together for a good half a year and i picture steven as a more needy kind of boyfriend. the man lacked so much attention and affection before and now that he has you in his life, he never wants that to stop. he tries hard not to be needy or clingy but he can't help it.

he just wants you to look at him, love him and spend your time with him and only him. sometimes it's overwhelming but you always make sure to tell steven when it starts to get too much but those are extremely rare. you're always happy to indulge the man with some well deserved love and affection!

he's brought up the idea of you moving in with him when you hit the fifth month of being together actually.

you always end up staying over at his place whenever you two hang out (because he literally won't let you go home sometimes under the guise that it's too late for you to go back and he doesn't want anything to happen to you). i mean, he's already given you the spare copy of his keys with a matching koala keychain attached to the keyring.

you tell him that you'll consider it, not saying yes but not really saying no. he's hopeful though, would keep asking you about it after every week as both an inside joke and a serious offer.

after the whole ammit stuff that went down in cairo, steven actually reapplied at the museum! he managed to get word that donna was fired and someone else has replaced her spot . you convinced him to go back and do what he loves, reassuring steven that he'll do great.

it took a few days of convincing but in the end he did listen to you and applied for the tour guide position and he got the role with flying colors! the museum was thoroughly impressed by his knowledge of ancient egypt and gave him the job on the spot and he would be starting as a guide the following week.

you treated steven with home cooked vegetarian meals and wine that night and proceeded to end the night tangled between the sheets.

you definitely cook in the relationship. steven got a taste of you cooking stir fry once and he's begged you to keep cooking for him ever since.

he had shyly asked you to pack him lunch when he was about to start at his new role as a tour guide and you happily obliged! you make him cute vegetarian bentos daily and leave a small sticky note on his lunch box filled with words of encouragement.

you don't know this but he actually kept every single one of them in a tiny box and hid it within his shelves.

you own a car which makes steven your permanent designated passenger princess!

you think it's adorable the way he blushes profusely when you open the door for him and whines that he should be the one doing that for you, only for you to shush him and tell him that you enjoy doing it for him.

you 100% hold hands a lot especially during longer drives or if he's feeling cheeky, he'd sneak a hand on your thigh that would begin to travel higher and higher.

on those days you'd have to find a place to park and fast to sneak a quickie, edging poor steven until he's all whiny and submissive, begging for his release. but you do remind him he was being bad by distracting you while driving. he'd have to wait until later that day to be able to cum.

at times like that he's glad he wears loose and baggy clothings because it would have been embarrassing to walk around with a raging hard on outlining his jeans even though it's his fault in the first place that he has to deal with his boner while on a date with you.

you tried to build furniture together once. it was just a shelf actually, so that the book piled on the floor of his flat would have a better home. but you found out you both sucked at it, there were screws missing and the manual confused the hell out of you two even though the instructions were really easy and simple to follow.

you both gave up mid-work and the poor shelf ended up as a half finished product tucked away at one corner of his flat collecting dust.

i'm a firm believer that steven is a romanticist. he's pretty old-fashioned about it too.

he writes you handwritten letters every month celebrating the day you had agreed to be his girlfriend. if his shift at the museum ends earlier than your work, he'd pick you up at the lounge area of your work building with a fresh bouquet in hand. he plans your dates together!

he'd always make sure to ask you your free days and tries to align his own schedule with yours so you can go on a date next weekend for a trip at the farmer's market and then have some breakfast at a quaint café a little ways from the city. he's a romantic sap and you wouldn't have him any other way.

you buy gus the second new decorations in his aquarium. you never saw the original gus, all that you knew was that the first one really only had one fin.

when you asked about how the original gus was replaced he was hesitant at first, thinking you might be weirded out by his condition but marc was the one who dared him to try and tell you. so he let you know bits and pieces about his did, introduced you to marc after many heavy debates with his reflection (when you weren't around).

in conclusion, the chicagoan liked you for steven which in turn meant that he did too but that's a story for another time.

steven is a sub and you can't change my mind. bratty but a sub nonetheless. he likes that you take control and he's more than happy to give it to you with very little resistance. a little spanking sets him straight if he doesn't behave.

i also headcanon him being into bondage. he likes it when you tie him up, colorful ropes knotted and binding him in place, the anticipation of waiting for you to touch him turns him on even more.

he prefers things like silk ribbons rather than handcuffs and yes, you've definitely gagged him before when he starts to get too loud after receiving a complaint from your downstairs neighbor about your activities.

you once made an offhand comment about steven looking extremely peggable, it left him a blushy stuttering mess. but one day when you come home from work, steven is sitting on his bed looking nervous and squirmy, a big paper bag next to him.

"steven baby, what's wrong?" you ask as you set your bag on the floor next to him before kneeling in front of him, taking his hands in your own. "i um... do you remember love when you— you said i was... peggable?" he says the last word in a tiny whisper, a blush spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and down his neck. he lets go of your hand to give you the bag with shaky nervousness, looking away as you peer at the contents inside: a strap on and a big bottle of lube.

"d-do you think we could uh— would you like to try it love? i-i'm fine with it if you are." let's just say you and steven had a very fun time experimenting into his new kink.

i feel like sweet steven would propose to you after a year and a half into the relationship?

yes he knows he's moving too fast but to him, you're everything. you're it. (let's say marc and layla divorced after cairo okay? okay.) plus marc liked you too. he liked you a good amount (he loves you but marc's stubborn and insists he only likes you a healthy amount) he would front and spend some time with you too. to steven that's like the best thing he could ask for.

"we don't have to marry right away, love. we're busy with work with you getting ready for your promotion and i'm getting more and more tours and it's been hectic enough for us as it is but one day yeah? one day i would love to see you walk down the aisle where we'd both say our vows and by the end of it, i get to finally call you my wife." he rambles as he kneels in front of your crying figure, ring in hand.

i know we all think he'd be a blubbering mess when proposing but i personally don't see him doing that.

if that man proposes, it's because he's set his mind into it after thorough deliberation. if he proposes, it's with confidence and purpose.

he doesn't prepare a speech, just relays what his heart tells him and it's telling him that his love for you was more than life itself and that he wants nothing more than for you to give him the absolute honor of having him as your husband. you had to kiss him to shut up so you can finally tell him...

"it's a yes steven, it will always be a yes for me. i love you more with each day i get to be with you, and to spend the rest of my waking days with your last name as my own? if this was a dream steven grant, never wake me up because i would love to be your wife. i'm yours and only yours if you'll have me."

[maochira]

Hiii hope you’re having a great day :D

I wanted to request the blue lock boys(Chigiri, Bachira, Nagi, Shidou and Kaiser) comforting ADHD reader that is overstimulated during a match and can’t play properly

Don’t have to do it if u r not comfortable

-Clovers

Hi Clovers!! I'm neurodivergent but I don't have ADHD, so I'm not comfortable with writing an ADHD reader. I'll just write about sensory overload in general. Also, I changed the situation to it happening during practice because that's easier for me to write. I hope it's okay!

Masterlist and request rules

Tags/notes: gn!reader, comfort, sensory overload is written in the way I experience it, reader is implied to be neurodivergent, all of this is before Blue Lock starts, headcanons are meant to be platonic but you can see it with a romantic relationship as well

Chigiri notices there's something off with you at practice, so when he gets the chance to, he asks you what's wrong. At first, you tell him you're fine and continue playing, but Chigiri notices you're lying to him. He doesn't ask again, tho. But then you start being unresponsive to what is happening around you and your tone when speaking is getting more and more irritated, to a point where you're just torturing yourself by playing. You've gotten sensory overload a handful of times during practices already, so your coach knows about it and you can sit down on the side of the field if needed. When Chigiri sees you sitting down there, he sits down next to your and holds your hand in silence until you feel better.

Bachira can see how you're slowly getting overwhelmed with everything around you, but you keep pushing yourself to continue. As much as he admires how eager you are to push yourself, he doesn't like seeing you in pain either. He can see you trying to stim with your hands, but can't seem to get your mind clear again. Bachira makes sure you're okay with being touched at the moment before he gently holds your wrist, guiding you to a bench on the side of the field to sit down.

You've mentioned your sensory issues towards Nagi a handful times, but he's never seen you with sensory overload. Now during soccer practice, he doesn't pay that much attention to you. He's just waiting for practice to be over. But then he sees you're missing, which makes him a bit worried, so he asks one of your teammates where you are, who tells Nagi that you're not feeling well so you went to the locker room. Nagi goes there to check on you. When he sees you overstimulated and shaking a little, he sits down next to you and puts an arm around your shoulder. He doesn't know what to say, so he just stays silent until you're feeling better.

Note for Shidou: he didn't play in a team before Blue Lock, so I'm doing another scenario for him

Shidou invited you to play soccer with him after school, which you agreed to. The day has been pretty overwhelming and you thought soccer would take your mind off and let you release stress. But instead of that, it makes you feel even worse. Shidou is challenging you more than usual and jokes about how bad you're playing today, not knowing your day has been rather rough. That combined with the uncomfortableness of not wearing the right clothes to do sports in and the feeling of sweat making your shirt cling onto your skin just gets you so overstimulated, you stop playing and get ready to grab your stuff and leave. Shidou is confused and asks what's going on, to which you respond in a very irritated and stressed tone about how bad everything has been today and how he just made you feel even worse. It makes Shidou feel a little guilty, so he apologizes. He didn't mean to make you feel bad with his jokes. He knows he's not good at comforting, so he tells you he'll walk you home. He also gives you one of his earbuds and lets you choose music for you two to listen to while walking.

You don't want Kaiser to think you're weak, so throughout the entirety of practice, you try to hide how overstimulated you're feeling today. Soccer practice isn't the cause of it, but it's not making you feel better either, which is unusual because it usually helps you to release any build-up pressure inside of you. Kaiser doesn't notice there's something off about you until Ness points it out. When your team is taking a short break during practice, Kaiser approaches you to ask if you're alright. You tell him you're fine, but he knows it's not the truth, so he keeps asking until you give in and tell him what you're feeling. You expected he would think you're weak for feeling like this, but instead he tells Ness to get you some water and asks the coach if it would be okay if you can take a longer break than the rest of the team.

[soupsandwich64]

THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AND THEIR LOVE LANGUAGES.

Forgive me for any mistakes of lore, names or character traits etc.. I am bad at remembering things.

Not proof read.

ALSO NOTE THAT THIS DOESN'T MEAN "THESE ARE THE ONLY LANGUAGES THAT WORK ON THEM" IT MEANS "THESE ARE THE ONES THAT WORK BEST OUT OF ALL OF THEM"

And theres things like least favorite, too.

--------------------------------------------------------

ROCKET RACCOON

RECEIVING -

(What is most effective towards him)

GIFT GIVING.

(Particularly prosthetic limbs)

QUALITY TIME.

Think like co-playing. Both in the same room doing different things. Sometimes talking

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

This one is probably pretty intense for him, so he only lets it actually sink in if it's a short sentiment from someone he truly cares about. Like, a friend being like "wow you're so cool!" Would definitely make him feel good, and probably inflate his ego/self esteem, but wouldn't really set in. But if like, Peter or Mantis etc. said something like "I appreciate everything you do for this team, we love you" that might actually hit hard. That's what I mean when I put words of affirmation here

---

GIVING

(What he would give you or others)

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

QUALITY TIME.

These two are his most standard forms of affection. He also gives them like he receives them. So, if someone he's friends with is a silent type, comfortable silence in the same room. If they're talkative, some light chatting is ok, and so on. Words of affirmation from him would most likely just be surface level stuff like "Good job" "You're not as dumb as I thought" "that's a neat trick" etc. sort of a friendly bullying. How people respond to that bullying tells him a lot about someone, usually. Just like with himself, if he's particularly close to someone, he may let out the occasional genuine praise without a layer of sarcasm.

LEAST FAVORITE

Physical touch.

Yeah, ouch, I know.

Not only is he smaller than everyone, which might make physical touch overwhelming, but he also has the situation on his back. But deep down, I think he's a bit touch starved (Everyone in the dang MCU is at this point) and secretly enjoys it. You just can't be heavy handed, and he really has to trust you. And too much too frequently may make him feel like a pet. So be careful.

(theres no way he would admit though, If asked about it he would simply say "Cause I don't want you gross sweaty skin bags all over me", referring to most peoples lack of fur)

-------------

PETER QUILL

(Theres like only 4 gifs of him. Why does my boy not deserve tasty gifs)

RECEIVING

-----------

With Peter it heavily depends on where you are in his timeline. The "golden age" Peter, where Gamora is alive and in love, and its good times for everyone, is probably not focused on relationships outside of the team (which might be part of his issues that were addressed in Vol 3.) The "everyone I love is dead" peter is in an extreme depressive state and obviously isn't going to be making new friends or even be responsive to his current friends (for the most part). The post Vol3 "Reconciled with my dad and stopped hopping on lily pads" Peter is new man! But also the same, being like a rebuilt version of himself. He would now, in my opinion, value every relationship he has. Every opportunity he has to be with other people becomes valuable, and everything he does is to honor the people who loved him when no one else did (Mama Quill, Yondu, Gamora etc.) and serve the people who love him now and kept loving him even through hard times. (Rocket, Mantis, Drax, Groot etc.).

With that said,

ACTS OF SERVICE

GIFT GIVING

I see Peter feeling loved more through actions and physical items because of what he's been through, making him crave things that are solid and real. Also Yondu was a lil trinket collector so that may turn up in Peter too. But, I also think Peter may feel a little guilty when receiving gifts. Very grateful, though.

I will also add

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

QUALITY TIME

Because even despite what I just said, I think a solid "You're so strong, I look up to you" every now then would make him giggle and kick his feet a little internally.

And listening to music together or sharing music is also particularly special

At the end of the day, he's just happy to be around loved ones.

GIVING

Just as you may be doing right now, he would probably try and figure out what the specific person likes. So his giving just depends on the person.

LEAST FAVORITE.

He doesn't really have one. He just wants to be loved.

--------

DRAX

(The destroyer (and protector))

Drax is probably receptive to most forms of affection, but it has to be obvious and clearcut.

Like, doing subtle things in the background might not get his attention, but hugging him directly and saying something like "I appreciate you as a person and for everything you do for the team" would be a lot better, and mean a lot more to him, even though its a very bold/blunt move. Theres probably a balance between blunt and subtle, but it would be pretty easy to strike. You also don't want to leave room for interpretation if you're afraid of him misinterpreting the difference between platonic and romantic affection. Its a slippery slope, but as long as you avoid using the word 'love' without platonic clarification too many times, you'll be good.

Also Drax does does not make friends in the traditional sense, he simply decides who is and who is not his friend. Whether they know about it or not. Not even in a way thats like cold and calculated or something, he just thinks it in his own head and decides it, expecting the others to simply Know.

With that said,

RECEIVING

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

I say this is probably both receiving and giving, but he's probably less likely to give and more open to receive. I feel like he would just kinda stand there the first few times someone hugged him, but if it became a routine thing, he would become more reciprocal. That might sound like he doesn't like physical touch, but I think its rather the fact that along with his other social skills, physical affection just turns out.. different.. for him. Like when he pet Rocket. I think he's a physical person, it just comes out weird. I want to hug him. If you touch his muscles too much he may get weirded out, or think you like him.

GIVING GIFTS

If you give him something he likes, like zarg-nuts, oh boy. He will DEFINITELY like you. Thats all to be said.

GIVING

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Things like "You're ugly, but thats good because then you know who really loves you", y'know.

GIFT GIVING

Will offer you zarg-nuts. Thats a big deal.

LEAST FAVORITE

Probably Quality Time, but only if its boring. I think he actually sees things like fighting alongside the team as quality time, so it might just be different than how we would interpret quality time.

Again, he probably is just generally receptive to each language so you can't really go wrong, as long as you come across right.

-------------------

GAMORA (pre and post)

(There's also not a lot of gifs of her at all)

So, much like quill, she has three versions. During Thanos, Golden Age, and Multiverse. I'll do Golden Age and Multiverse because I don't think During Thanos is interesting, at least not for this specific post.

Also golden age and multiverse are technically two different people.

GOLDEN AGE GAMORA

Golden age Gamora is, in my opinion, a very deeply feeling woman. She can be stone cold when she needs to, but I feel like she is very emotionally intelligent especially as she gets closer with the team. She is also very loving, and is often 'the rock' of a friendship. Or just generally the level headed, down to earth one.

-----------------------

RECEIVING

QUALITY TIME

Definitely finds spending time together and talking valuable. Even listening to music together is special.

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

As long as the words are honest and not trying to just flatter her or try and get in good with her, she appreciates it. Honest praise goes a long way. Too much too often may make her embarrassed.

GIVING

Since she *is* rather emotionally intelligent, I imagine she would figure out what that person is most receptive to, and display that. But if it's someone she likes, like Peter, she may get bashful and have a hard time acting natural with it and would probably revert to her own preferred language.

LEAST FAVORITE

GIFT GIVING.

I imagine her upbringing caused her to not be a materialistic person. That said, gifts can be extremely special to her, but its just rare. So giving her flowers doesn't do anything but like if Peter gave her a mixtape, thats different.

////

MULTIVERSE GAMORA

A more hot headed, less sensitive version of golden age. Meaning she's probably more standoffish and less emotionally intelligent, but not by a lot, just sort of by the trimmings and details of her personality. Being with the ravagers probably does that to most anyone. Golden age has more motherly vibes, while multiverse has more protective older sister vibes.

--------

RECEIVING

PHYSICAL TOUCH.

In the form of rough housing and play fighting with her ravager friends. Not exactly in a tender way, although I do see sort of the "let me patch you up" angst. One of the differences between the two is that multiverse is more afraid to be vulnerable.

GIFT GIVING

Surprisingly. I think the ravager life style may make her a little more appreciative of having her own things. I imagine theres a lot of competitiveness for special food and special items, even if its playful. Even though something unnecessary like flowers may not excite her, things like a newer, stronger weapon could mean a lot. Golden Age may not feel the exact same only because it's probably more accessible. But lets say if its something Rocket made her, then it would be inherently valuable because its from her friend. With multiverse, things gain inherent value when they're useful.

LEAST FAVORITE

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

She doesn't need you to tell her she's doing a good job, she already knows. Compliments are only effective from people she respects above peer-level, which is rare. Joking around with her friends (loving insults, etc) is different though.

---------------------

GROOT (multiple ages)

(I couldn't find gifs of young adult groot, only many of baby groot and a few of groot senior. Sad)

Baby Groot, Teen Groot, Young Adult Groot, Adult Groot, Groot Senior. So many choices. I'll do them ALL. (Except adult groot cause we just saw him for a few minutes so like- yknow)

GROOT SENIOR

Since Groot sr. was treated "more as animal" than a person, I imagine he doesn't have a concept of love language at all. Therefor, I will say that anything he perceives as loving, caring and protective action is his love language both giving and receiving. R.I.P. legend you will not be forgotten 🪽🕊️🕊️ 🙏 💯

The original baby boy. I'm still sad.

-----

BABY GROOT

He's a baby, so in theme for babies, attention, physical affection, and quality time are pretty much his main priorities. He ain't got much going on. Older baby groot, like toddler groot, is more active and perceptive, so I'd say his main receiving language is words of affirmation, and his main giving language is acts of service.

TEEN GROOT

Teen groot is broody and angsty, and he's definitely not thinking about other's feelings. So I'm gonna say while it's rare, when he does show affection, it's act of service. Receiving is pretty much anything, he doesn't really care right now.

At least not about the specifics.

-

YOUNG ADULT GROOT

Now, groot is much more loving and affectionate. He is receptive to all love languages, and gives them all too. Except, theres not much use in words of affirmation for him unless he really loves the person.

-----

MANTIS

RECEIVING

Anything. As long as she can clearly tell it's love/affection, it's effective. Like Peter, she just wants to be loved.

GIVING

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION.

Being able to verbally explain how she feels to someone, and how she may appreciate that person, is the most confident option for her. She thinks that it's pretty effective, and is the safest option. She probably also never got a lot of affection at all before the Guardians, but I think she appreciates mental and social affection more than physical.

LEAST FAVORITE

Doesn't have one.

------------

NEBULA

(Last one I'm doing this post then I'll do a few more in a second post)

RECEIVING

QUALITY TIME.

Like board games and stuff, or at least thats what I think she wants, deep down. I feel like maybe she doesn't realize this is one of her love languages. Like it's subconscious.

GIFT GIVING.

With her upbringing, she only had things taken away. Giving her something of importance may mean a lot to her. Like her new arm in Vol3. Again since shes still a little emotionally constipated, she may not really realize this.

GIVING.

She doesn't really understand how to sort of actively pursue a friendship or how to read someones love language, so her giving language is probably just existing in the same space as someone without criticizing them. Because she doesn't quite know how to do more than that, or at least isn't comfortable right now. But she wants to and deep down she's trying.

------------

THANK YOU FOR READING!!!!!

I'll do like Adam Warlock and stuff next.

[jazzzzzzhands]

Ok FOR REAL Theory Time!!! Gonna be massive spoilers plus mention of bugs/fungus! So I'm calling this the Mold Theory And what is the Mold? It's the black stuff under Home! (Mold under a house is very suiting, right?) The Mold has contaminated Every single thing that the Restoration team has found! The team talks about the envelopes, the antiques, and the artwork found for Welcome Home and how it is alwasys Wet and covered in Grime. The stuff that is "Growing" all over the found items... Staff must wear gloves or they will get covered in it

You can see it all over the gloves, the Walls, and even the Website Itself! It's also been shown on the restored art prior to the update. But one unfortunate person seems to have touched it. and that is.. The Question Answerer! (The head person of the Restoration team is also most likely infected) Now what this Mold does is, It seems to have an effect of the person's mental state. Causing them to see and hear things, as well as having lucid nightmares and an overwhelming urge to draw spirals. From the very moment of contact, it seems to have effect "When I Unwrapped the first letter, I felt it. I heard it. Open Open Open. I want it out, I'm Going to get it Out" Instant Hallucinations and Obsession! Now I'm going to be Comparing this Mold to a Real fungus called Cordyceps, or the Zombie-Ant Fungus. It is a fungus that can control BUGS (familar themes right?) and take over their minds, forcing them to act unnaturally and wander far in order to spread itself! ~Similarily~ this Mold can take control of the Host's mind as well. The "Spores" that it is trying to spread are the drawings of the spirals/eyes. And the more eyes are Drawn, the more Wally can SEE. Wally has made it truly apparent that he can see us through any rendition of his eyes. "I've seen you every time you've looked into my eyes" "I have more eyes than I did before, you know how to draw eyes You draw mine, many times. I know it is thanks to you, Neighbor.. That I can see.. but it is still.. I can't see" He is giving us instructions.. "You have work to do" -Giving us instrustions on how to draw an eye... "Please Open, Let me In" Now I find this last instruction very funny He doesn't say "Let me Out" No... He says "Let me IN" Into What? What are we Opening? Our doors?Our EYES? our Mind? our Heart?? I think that could be exactly it!!! Letting him.... into You!!! (The collective You) Isn't that Funny? A Funny little thought?! The Puppet becoming the Puppeteer! ooh hee hee hoo hoo I think I'm very clever about that! But there are so many themes of Strings/Control/Scripts That I simply couldn't help myself! Now does that mean I think Wally is Evil? Absolutely NOT I LOVE Wally, and hey, what's a bit of mind control between Neighbors? <333 I'll borrow a cup of sugar and you can borrow my sanity! That's what Neighbors are for! <3 Jokes aside, No I Do NOT think Wally is Evil!! No, he might become a Puppeteer over the Real world... (and It might be for good reason, to save his friends and himself) but he is still very much a Puppet himself. Literally and Figuratively, And the Real Mastermind behind the strings is... Home!

Afterall? Isn't that where the Mold is coming from? From Down Below? Below Home?

This image gives me BIG TIME Obediance vibes Reporting/Worship/Subjugation I very much see Wally as the Lure of a very big Angler Fish.. The bait, the perfect little puppet that has captured our hearts and led us by the hand into Welcome Home. Isn't that very much how it has gone in real life? (Oh I KNOW I got the Mold BAD!!! ahahaha) (I can't stop drawing himmm!!! :3c ) But this is where my rambling stops, Until Next Time! I will just say that: The Relationship between Home and Wally (And by extension, YOU) Is a Strange one for sure! And I cant wait to see it further! And Just one more extra note on this whole Fungus thing.. Did you know that the BIGGEST Organism on the entire Earth.. Is a Mushroom? It is because they are connected through their Roots... (Down Below) and Houses kinda are shaped like musrooms... I will Leave it at That! Ahahahaha!

[hifirushimagines]

aaahhh! delighted to see this blog pop up! hi :D good luck on the blog! can we getttt,,, some general crushing hcs of The Band? thank you!! <3

⊱ ────────────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───────────── ⊰

The Band having a crush on someone

TW; Crushing, fluff

Notes; Thanks and have a great day

⊱ ────────────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───────────── ⊰

Chai

He is a mess when it comes to crushes Chai can't talk right, he'll fumble with everything he his on hand and he'll act all sorts of goofy, sometimes he gets lost staring at his crush as they focused on something until they turned their attention back to him as he finally realizes what he was doing

Chai will try to impress his crush by showing off his arm during training or fights, try to make them laugh by making 808 talk (with his own voice obviously) or play a song that he just finished on his guitar

Sometimes he'll buy things that reminds of his crush like their favorite food or drink, their favorite chapstick or their favorite band

Peppermint

When she first realizes that she has a crush on someone Peppermint freaks out a little because it's been a long time since she had a crush, let alone during her fight against Kale but overtime she accepts this new feeling

Most of the time during missions she keeps a close eye on them and helps them out when needed but sometimes will intervene when it's getting overwhelming

Blushes at every complement that she receives and gifts that they said that reminds them of her then in return Peppermint will buy/make something for them, small things like a key chain or an upgrade on their phone

Macaron

This big guy can't keep his mouth shut when he talks about his crush with Chai or Peppermint he can't talk about with CNMN for a lot of good reasons, Macaron will ask for advice from his friends mostly Korsica

Just like Chai he becomes very goofy and clumsy messing up a lot of his projects, spewing out gibberish when he talks with said crush and missing his targets during missions much to the demise of his friends

Sometimes he'll make their favorite snacks/drink at the base when everything has calmed down for the day, just talking with them about anything from today, what they're interested in or whatever comes to mind

CNMN

He outright tells them about his crush on them no doubt just outright tells them to their pretty face, he doesn't understand the concept of having a crush but they're understandable about and is willing to help him through this

Korsica

Denies the whole thing not because she doesn't want love but because she's scared of being rejected cause she put her whole life into her work at Vandelay, she's not sure how to talk with them so she asks Chai and Peppermint to help

She'll show her interests in them through actions since that's the best thing she can do via helping them carry their stuff, filling out half the reports that Vandelay needed today and checking up on them when she notices them getting stressed or having a bad day getting them anything they want

Most of the time she'll unknowingly flirt with her crush until she sees their red face then she'll profusely apologizes them hundred times, before running off to find herself a spot to cool down

[struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor]

Okay, I Am Still spoilers under the cut. Let's do this.

Oh boy, that was something.

Seeing Jungkook made me so happy and at peace. His bright smile makes me happy. I felt so much love for him, so real and deep that it's surreal I feel that way and that my love for him has grown so much throughout chapter 2 - and that I've loved him for 5 years now... When the first Golden performance was played, I really felt so serene and present. I wanted to close my eyes. My problems felt so far away and I was grateful to be alive and to be alive at the same time as Jungkook. I often think this, but as long as Jungkook is happy, then at least one person I really love is okay, and that makes living a little bit easier. So I often plead to myself for him to be happy and have a happy ever after (as much as possible in a world where sickness and death are guaranteed). So, thank you, Jungkook, for every bit of comfort and happiness you give me, and for filling my heart when I feel that it is so hollow. I'm so proud of you. I was so proud seeing your journey.

I was also so moved at the end of the movie... Magic Shop played, then the black screen thanking Army showed up (tears), followed by Jungkook shaving his hair for the military... His hairstylist cried... It was sweet and sad, I love how much everyone loves Jungkook. He hugged his hairstylist was sweetly and acted bravely. And then Jimin showed up and Jungkook acted silly for him... The doc ended. with Jungkook making a funny face... It felt very Jungkook. It left me feeling happy, sad, grateful, touched, and overwhelmed all at once.

I guess the documentary also made me feel bad for how critical I am of him. It's just my nature. I feel things very deeply or very shallowly...

Now, other thoughts and criticism:

Most of the doc was rather underwhelming. I paid too much to see something that could've been available for free on YT. It had about the same quality as LSRF's docs tbh. They could've hired a really good producer instead.

I get the story they were telling, but it left much to be desired. The timeline was all over the place, and they overall showed very little given the material they must have. They could've dug so much deeper and shown so much more of Jungkook - which is what I believe he probably wanted. They showed so much old footage, like some of his performances and interviews. It was all about showing his success, talent, and perseverance. That's great and all, but it doesn't make the doc insightful or new.

I wanted to really see the process of creating Golden. Not just him recording stuff and traveling the world, but discussing the songs, the MVs. Why did he release the explicit version of Seven - what was that discussion like? Why he decide on collabs? How did he choose the songs? Why did he decide to make an English album after 3D - was it an easy choice or was he unsure about it? Did he give his input on the MVs? The doc doesn't answer these questions or truly show the decision-making process behind Golden, behind Seven, 3D, and SNTY. So it's less about Golden, and more about Jungkook's growth. I guess Golden is only about Jungkook proving something, but they could've done more, dug deeper, showed more of Golden since the doc is marketed as a "making of" Golden.

Still, it did show candid and very Jungkook-like moments and how his confidence in himself grew. It showed what his goals were, and I really relate to what he said about not knowing what the end goal is but that at least he's learning. I also don't know what I want my career to be yet, but I'm learning stuff and hopefully I'll figure it out.

I just expected more substance. Showing him perform and being interviewed was unnecessary. We've already seen all of that. Some performances and interview moments are fine, but there were too many imo. I also didn't like the quotes from some of the producers. Tbh, Jungkook would've made a much better documentary than Hybe. I was still satisfied in the end though.

On another note, I witnessed the Taekook effect for the first time irl. Some fans started yelling when V showed up - they either love V or Taekook, or both. No one really reacted with Jimin or Jikook...

This was my first time seeing BTS on the big screen. I'd never done it previously because I don't want to give Hybe money and because it didn't feel worth it. I was also very afraid of watching it with other Armys. I expected fans to yell when JK appeared shirtless, which they did, and they laughed and cooed a bit too much, but overall fans were quiet. Thankfully. That had been my biggest concern... The Portuguese just can't be bothered with anything.

Speaking of Portuguese, I paid 11 Euros for a movie that was translated into Brazilian Portuguese? I never thought an official movie would be shown in Portuguese from Brazil in Portugal. It is not the same as Portuguese from Portugal. A lot of the translation sounded off.

Anyway... what did you guys think? I have to eat now before I pass out. I'm so weak my arms and legs are tingling. And I bit all my nails during the doc because I was hungry lmao.

Edit: Forgot to add that beginning the doc with baby pictures of Jungkook was too cute. Also, I loved all the moments of Jungkook Jungkooking. Cause of death: Jungkook and his big, pretty eyes, and cute mannerisms, and perfect heart.

[bihansthot]

Ghosted. Again. I cannot stress this enough, FUCK real men. I’m done. I’m so sick of all the emotional stress and drama, I’m going back to self shipping full time now. I don’t really know if I’ll share much of it since I’ve had so much hate in the past but I know Bi-Han will always be there for me, I’m still on the fence whether or not to include Syzoth because his dynamic with Bi-Han is so bad so I don’t know. As always I’ll tag my posts so you can blacklist the tags solarbear, solizardbear and/or bi han x sol, bi han x syzoth x sol if you don’t want to see it but like I said I don’t think I’m inclined to share much.

I’m also pretty sure I’m done writing, I’m very sorry if you sent a request and I didn��t get a chance to write it. I’m hesitant to delete or post any of them with an apology note in case I change my mind though, maybe I’m just in a really shit mood with how badly my love life has been? Maybe after a break I’ll feel in love with writing again and go back to it? Maybe I won’t. I don’t know.

I will try and stay active and reblog Bi-Han/Lin Kuei art and smut and stuff daily and still really want to make more friends and chat with you lovelies but I think I need to make tumblr a little less of a priority. I still want to be part of the MK Kommunity though, I just need a break from the creative side. My inbox is still open and you can always send me questions I just can’t write requests anymore. If that changes though I will be sure to let you know.

I want to get back in shape or at least back under a certain number so I need to prioritize physical activity and Denny time, he’s such a good baby and deserves more of my time and attention. I’ll still always been around on Discord and still have no problems adding anyone who wants to be friends on Discord and will still try and be active in my Mortal Kombat server if you need to find me. I just need to put me and my physical and mental health first, so I might not answer immediately or even consistently please know that is not on you at all, that is all me and I occasionally can’t interact because I’m exhausted or overwhelmed. I apologize in advance. My mental health is worlds better the last two years or so after getting medications that actually work but it’s not perfect and probably won’t ever be. I have so much trauma from my Mother growing up and my heart transplant that I don’t know that I’ll ever really be “good” I just know it’s “better”.

I guess I’ll wrap this post up now that I’m kind of rambling I just had to get some stuff off my chest.