#so maybe those same people who are always asking me...you should hold off until i answer the ones that are wasting away in my box and draft
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imagining riding vi’s bicep after she comes home from the gym!
warnings ˙⋆✮ honestly you’re both kind of submissive and pathetic, AFAB, masturbation, praise, swearing, reader has a huge fixation on these muscles, and well..riding vi’s bicep messily!
wc ˙⋆✮ 2.8k
vi was a women who enjoyed going to the gym, purely for her own benefits. she wasn’t some sort of gym rat asshole most people assumed she was—just a woman there to have a good time and feel good about herself. and maybe slightly to impress you, she could be quite a show-off.
you were very fond of your girlfriend’s biceps, when you clung onto them or touched them it felt and looked right. like a puzzle in your life you didn’t know you needed the piece to. you liked to squeeze the muscle softly, give her gentle massages, really any excuse you could come up with just to touch them. asking would probably be simpler—but where’s the fun in that!
besides her unfairly sexy face and personality—they were a huge reason why you were attracted to her. they felt right when you’d muffled your moans into them during sex, when you’d kiss them or just hold them while cuddling—they were perfect.
one time in particular, you asked vi if you could ride her bicep. you were both drunk out of your minds, curled up on the couch with the smell of alcohol and something sweet wafting throughout the room. perhaps that was convincing, because you followed through. it was a heated moment. messy, hot, frantic, wet—all of it. but it was so perfect, and vi seemed to get off on it a lot.
after that first time, it became routine. you were both obsessed with it.
usually you’d do it after she got home from the gym, that way her muscles were more prominent—you needed something perfect to grind and get off on! there was also a pain aspect she liked. she’d work out until her biceps felt tender, your added weight was painful but so pleasurable.
this day was no different, vi raced home. the traffic laws were just suggestions!
you were sitting in your shared bedroom on the plush mattress, watching some romance movie you probably had memorized. you were wearing that sweet perfume she liked, the one that practically magnified her to her body. it was a lure you knew always work, and it got you wanted.
that’s because you know what you wanted—you knew she wanted the same thing too. more so when she walked into the house, tossed her gym bag on the ground, and made a b-line straight to you.
you barely had time to look up because she was already on you. she laid you back, burying her face in your neck and panting. you could hear the sheer neediness in her voice, the way her lips trembled against your pulse and soaked up your heart beat in a way that made hers double in speed.
“god, vi. you could at least get yourself a glass of water or something.” you suggested, knowing you’d be ignored the moment you felt her lips on your neck. you could feel her smile against it, nose piercing cold but lovely feeling against your flesh.
vi pulled away for a brief moment, looking at you with those eyes that you always found yourself lost in. so full of meaning and so soulful. “oh, are you worried about me, baby? you should worry about getting that cute ass up and onto my arm.”
you laughed again, “don’t i deserve some love first? you abandoned me for hours.” you complained, legs wrapping around her waist.
vi had a grin on her face, the scar on her lip making it even more special. with gentle care, she placed one hand on your cheek, rubbing it affectionately. she leaned down, peppering small, loving kisses onto your neck. she worked her way up to your ear, breathing heavy in it in a way that made you shiver. “abandoned? oh please, i was gone for a few hours.” she teased, huffing out a laugh into your ear. a small kiss was planted on your cheek softly, her lips staying there for a moment. “but i do love you, dollface.”
there wasn’t much time to respond, not when vi captured your lips in a deep, passionate kiss. you sighed into the gesture, something between relief and an expression of the arousal sparking south. you wrapped your arms around her neck, deepening the kiss as if you could get any closer. it was a messy kiss, teeth clicking, tongues flicking and swirling around each other—everything you liked and everything she usually delivered.
vi bit your bottom lip, using the fact you gasped to her advantage. she slipped her tongue into your mouth, massaging her tongue against yours. you moaned softly, letting her tongue roll over yours. you felt dizzy, all of your emotions were pouncing on you at once and yet you were stuck in a messy, tongue tying kiss that you didn’t want out of. it didn’t get any neater, you two were practically devouring each other’s lips in a way that just screamed desperate. you wished her tongue was in outer places too.
you felt as she turned her head a bit, her body shuffling above you. she pressed her knee against your clothed cunt firmly, loving the way you moaned into her mouth and tried to grind against it.
eventually, vi pulled away, her lips barely hovering over yours. you could feel her breath on it, the two of you panting after sharing such an intense kiss. she lifted her head up a bit to look you in the eyes, her thumb coming down to wipe a small dribble of saliva off your face. she admired you. god, you were so perfect.
vi pulled away, crawling off you slightly so she was lower down your body. “god, you’re so pretty. my pretty girl.” she said breathlessly, it was clear she was desperate for this. she slid her hands down your body, one finger finding its way towards the waistband of your pajama shorts. she quickly slid them down, eyes immediately locked on your panties. a moan escaped her lips upon seeing how soaked you were, the patch on the cotton made your panties slightly translucent. “so wet. someone’s excited.”
“don’t worry, baby. its all yours, i’m all yours”
she then kissed the patch. kissed it—then just took it off as if it was nothing. you were panting now, face flushed and eyes blown wide.
“i know you look forward to this, i do too.” she murmured, two fingers coming down to trace lazy circles on your clit to stimulate you. but it ended quick, her eyes were just darting between yours and your sopping, wet cunt. she leaned back, scooting you to the side to lay beside you. “come on, baby. put it on me. i know you want it.”
you moaned and nodded in response, looking at her with sultry eyes. you waited hours for this, all day you had been thinking about finally getting to ride her bicep. you sat up, crawling a bit to hover over her arm. you scooted up, one knee pressing against her side and the other near her face. she often liked to kiss the knee that was by her head. you slid the sleeve of her t-shirt up a bit. after all, you wanted to ride her bare skin, nothing could get in the way of something so intimate.
vi couldn’t wait anymore, her eyes were trained on you and slightly widened, pupils dilated in a way that made you feel flattered. she was panting, almost moaning even though nothing was happening yet. the sheer thought and anticipation was what got her going. as well as the sight of your needy face. “i know you need it, baby, you’re a needy girl. you’re gonna start dripping on me so just sit.” she said, her free hand holding your hip and shoving you down onto her waiting muscle.
you immediately pulsed against her bicep, a weak moan leaving your lips from the sudden friction. you both panted there for a minute, vi watching you intently with an enamored expression. a breathy groan left her, her hand rubbing your hip softly. “that’s it, that’s a good girl. god..you look so pretty like that.” vi patted your hip softly “move for me, sweetheart.”
you mindlessly complied, dragging your wet cunt over her toned bicep. you immediately sighed, starting to soak her skin with a humiliating amount of arousal. it was soaking her, a wet clicking and squelching sound resulting from every move of your hips. the layer of slick helped you move your hips faster. “vi..god i love these fucking muscles. a-all for me..” you moaned, adjusting a bit so you could plant your hands down. “did you work hard for me? i-i can tell..”
vi was moaning too, as if she could feel it. your weight on her sore muscles brought her so much pleasure—she didn’t know why. it was the kind of dull, stiff ache that she just wanted to feel loosen. “i know you do, baby. i know. i worked so hard just for you. feel it, just feel it.” she responded huskily, pulling her hand away from your hip and shoving them down her gym shorts instead. her fingers started circling her clit, using the same pace you were using on her arm to get yourself off —as if you were rubbing that wet, pretty pussy on her own. “god, i can’t control myself when you’re looking at me like that. keep those eyes on me, sweetheart—please.”
your hips sped up, mouth falling open to let out pathetic, pornographic whimpers. it wasn’t just the friction, it was the sheer idea of this act. it was so absurd that it made it sexy, but so genius in your eyes. “look at you fuckin’ soaking me. you’re being such a good girl. use my arm, baby. use it.” she groaned, her fingers speeding up with your hips. she looked at the expression on your face and moaned again, softer sounds leaving her at the sheer sight of you.
her fingers slid down her wet cunt, maybe she was almost as wet as you were. two of her digits found themselves prodding at her neglected, waiting hole, barely pushing in. slowly, she thrusted her fingers inside herself and curled them. she moaned out and twitched, the arm you were riding was lifted up a bit and pressed against you further.
that elicited a louder whimper from you, “vi..fuck!” you whined, your hips bucking desperately against the plump muscle like a fucking dog. you watched with weak, mesmerized eyes as she touched herself. all because you were riding her bicep like that, coating it in slick and sliding your aching pussy up and down. you were panting and moaning uncontrollably, both from exhaustion and pleasure. “it feels so good, baby..s-so good..” you said between pants.
vi looked at you, making eye contact as her fingers pumped in and out of her cunt quickly. the combined sound of her squelching pussy and yours was downright sinful. she bit her lip softly, trying to control herself from just worshipping you. “yeah? can you tell me more, please?” she asked, knowing she’d get off on your pathetic, strained voice. not only because it sounded like that, but because you were getting off on her. you were riding her arm and blessing her with your sweet moans and wet slick. “tell me how good it is, tell me your mine—wanna hear it from that sweet voice of yours.”
you moaned in response, nodding mindlessly and trying to hold eye contact. “i love doin’ this..s’just so good.” you gasped, nails digging into the sheets below you. “i don’t ever wanna stop..don’t ever make me stop. please.” you pleaded, knowing you couldn’t hold off an orgasm forever. but you wished it was that way, and you knew she’d stay in that moment forever if she could. “i’m yours, i’m yours! f-fuck..me!”
vi drank up your words like wine, the affect on her was unfair. she pumped her fingers more aggressively, her own moans hard to control and manage. “holy shit..fuck. keep talking baby, come on. keep riding it just like that.” she husked, shivering at the wet slick that kept sloshing between her bicep and your pretty pussy. “god, i love this pussy. i fucking love it. i wish my tongue was inside you—fuck..w-wasting so much on my arm instead of my tongue.”
you whimpered from her words, the sounds a never ending stream of pleasure and messiness. though, you kept talking. “you can clean me up after, baby..i-i can’t stop, s’too good..” you were running out of stamina, but your sheer need to continue kept you going. “never leave me when i’m that needy again..i just wanted to cum on your bicep all day.”
the feeling of her toned muscle against your cunt was absolutely heavenly. the way it seemed to naturally mold for your pussy perfectly needed to be studied. your clit rubbed against her bicep deliciously, every rut of your hips having you weak. your slick was starting to drip down the sides a bit, the reeking made her shiver and groan. “i know, baby. you’re doing so good, promise i’ll take care if you before i go next time. my needy girl.”
unfortunately, vi’s brutal pace on herself was difficult to withstand, she couldn’t push down her orgasm building up and she sure as hell couldn’t slow down. you were in a similar state, the tightening in your abdomen almost made your hips stutter. you were both moaning and panting filthy words to each other, most of which weren’t coherent enough to understand.
“vi, vi..i’m gonna cum!” you cried out, eyes bobbling in place as an attempt to stay locked on hers. your hips were moving frantically against her bicep, desperately needing to feel that release you had been waiting all day for. sure, you took care of yourself through the day—but it just wasn’t the same as this. it wasn’t the same as your pussy on her skin, the closeness you felt was what made it so special. you needed that—you both did.
vi absolutely loved the way you looked, so soft and so desperate. she husked out a deep breath, an embarrassing whimper leaving her at the repeated curl of her fingers. “me too—fuck!” she gasped, the feeling building up to something almost unbearable. “cum on my arm, baby. do it, please just give it to me. i need it, i need it please..”
she was hardly done with her sentence before you finished. “vi, vi, vi!” you chanted as you threw your head back, back arching almost impossibly as you came undone on her bicep. your pussy pulsed against the muscle, clamping around nothing but not needing to. a weak string of whines and whimpers fell from your lips, most in which you’d definitely be embarrassed about later.
vi wasn’t far behind, halfway between one of your whines she came. she pushed her head back against the plush of the mattress, eyes rolling back almost painfully. her whole body reacted, the arm you were riding lifted up again. you were overstimulated, whining and squirming at the feeling.
“t-too much, vi! please i can’t!” you whimpered, tears threatening to well up in your eyes. “i can’t take it, i-i can’t take it!” she didn’t notice at first, only stopping as she felt that relaxed feeling wash over her while you squealed and panted.
vi let her arm rest firmly on the bed, no longer pressing into you. she looked over at you with half lidded eyes, lips parted in a pant that you both seemed to participate in. “sorry, sweetheart. i didn’t mean it.” she husked out between gasps and pants. she broke eye contact with you to look at the aftermath. her bicep was absolutely soaked, juices dripping down the sides and the layer of slick bubbling and webbing against your tired, overwhelmed pussy.
you weakly lifted yourself off her bicep, the sticky webbing never more obvious. it was embarrassing to you, but vi loved it. you laid back, legs slightly spread to avoid absolutely everything getting sticky.
vi looked at her slick bicep against, leaning to the side and licking a long strip up it—cleaning all the slick and wetness you left there for her. her tongue lapped at it desperately, groaning at the feeling of your arousal on her tongue.
you watched in awe—she hadn’t done that before. but..you loved it. “fuck, baby..” you watched with slight embarrassment and astonishment, eyes trained on the way she lapped at her bicep to drink up anything she could get.
after a bit, she stopped. she panted, licking her lips and wiping her mouth. vi looked over at you and smiled tenderly, the eye contact could only be described as thoughtful.
“spread your legs a little bit, i’ll actually clean you up.”
credits to my wife for the bicep photo
tags!! <333 @valeisaslut @eriiwaiii2 @usuck @haithone @yunaversalluv @smaugayra @andiemiaswife @mayfldss @elliesfavtoy @sewithinsouls @pariiissssssss @aliselune @myla-wyla @nattakasuperlesbian @xiletay @sawaagyapong @ellies-real-wife @lostdecisions @liddyflyer @talyaisvalslutsoldier @dustandpearls @vicluvsu @urmomssideh0e
#vi arcane#vi smut#vi x reader#vi imagines#wlw#lesbian#wlw love#arcane#arcane imagine#vi x fem reader#vi x you#vi smut arcane#sapphic#sapphic fiction
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tiny heels and future plans

warnings: 18+ only!, smut, soft!rafe, dad!rafe, toddler daughter, p in v sex, unprotected sex, talk of pregnancy, wedding (not readers)
words: 1.5k
“you always look gorgeous.” rafe says, a slight grin on his face giving away that he's not fully conveying his true feelings.
“but…”
“but that dress is ridiculous.” rafe lets his laughter out, watching you frown at first before joining him in chuckling as you look in the mirror.
“it really is horrible, huh.”
“well, it's your aunt's taste so…” rafe shrugs. you twirl back towards rafe.
“tacky.” you both say at the same time.
“i hope her idea for the flower girl dress is better than this.” rafe looks to the door, knowing jada will be getting up from her nap soon.
“actually, i told her that we would take care of it.” you watch as rafe smile grows, realizing your daughter wouldn’t be stuck in a neon yellow dress covered in ruffles like her mama is.
“thank god.” rafe sighs. “and about you changing after the ceremony?”
“i was not able to convince her of that… yet.” you tsk. when your aunt invited you to be a part of her wedding, you didn’t even assume for a second it would be understated simply because its her fourth. she’s never been one to shy away from a big event, but being the richest woman in the outer banks means she gets away with her taste being pastels and colorful patterns.
“maybe you could tell her you still breastfeed jada sometimes and need a dress with a better top for it.” rafe shrugs. he doesn’t care what you wear, but he knows you would prefer not to be stuck in that so called dress for the entire evening.
“that’s actually not a terrible idea.” you admit before turning around, rafes hands coming to unlace the corset back as you let the dress fall to the floor. no point in trying to avoid wrinkles when there’s a million layers of ruffles.
“mmm, now that’s much better.” rafe smirks, eyes moving up and down your body, now only covered in your undergarments
you both move with a measured quickness, predicting each others next movements with fluidity until you both end up on the bed, lips attached together.
rafe is just about to reach behind your back to unclip your bra when you hear little footsteps coming down the hallway.
“the one time i need her to stay napping for longer…” rafe groans, rolling off the bed to intercept your toddler so you can get dressed in peace.
“this is what you get for always wanting her to get up earlier because you miss her.” you laugh as rafe sends a look to you before closing the door.
--
“i saw you shed a tear.” you say, causing rafe to whip around.
“jesus, how could i not.” he shakes his head, taking jada from your arms now that pictures with the wedding party were finished.
“are you hungry baby girl?” rafe asks.
“yes!” jada’s eyes light up. “wedding cake!”
you made the mistake of telling jada there would be cake at the wedding when going over what the day would look like, but you have been able to use it to your advantage, like promising her a whole slice if she walks straight down the aisle without stopping or crying.
“we have to wait for auntie tilly to cut the cake first, then we can eat.” you explain. jada looks to rafe with big eyes, her bottom lip pouting out.
“jada, don’t look at me like that.” rafe groans. jada has learned that she can get her way anytime she pouts to her dad.
“i think theres french fries inside, why don’t we have those first, hm?” you offer jada, who is happy enough to accept the compromise for now.
“so, yellow bridesmaid dress all night?” rafe asks as you head into the venue, your aunt continuing to take pictures with her new husband, only 30 some odd years her junior.
“yes, rafe.” you sigh. “i have not been able to convince her since you last asked me half an hour ago.” “well, you look pretty either way.” rafe turns jada in his arms so he can look at her, holding her close to his chest as a group of people walk by. “doesn’t mommy look pretty?”
you both know you should let her walk more, but she’s just so little you’re afraid of her getting trampled by wedding guests, and the fact that she’s not stable in her little heels doesn’t help your anxiety. “yes!” jada squeals her answer before cuddling into rafes neck.
--
“poor sleepy girl.” you laugh, one hand rubbing up and down rafes back while the other strokes jadas.
“i told her this was the last song we were dancing to.” rafe doesn’t bother to whisper, no amount of noise could keep jadas droopy eyes from closing. the party would still be going on for a few more hours, but as the final note of the song plays, you make your way quickly out of the venue.
“im gonna sit in back with her.” you tell rafe as you load jada into the carseat, knowing that if she happens to wake up on the ride home she won’t be happy about leaving the wedding.
“sounds like a plan.” rafe agrees, rounding the car to go to the drivers seat, wanting to get both of you home as quickly as possible.
after you’ve gotten back and unloaded the car (or at least most of it, some can always wait for morning), rafe takes jada to change her into her pajamas while you manage to get yourself out of the mess of ruffles.
“ah, my timing is perfect yet again.” rafe smirks as he walks into the room, just having taken off your bra.
“and definitely no baby to interrupt us this time.” you smile as you flop back onto the bed. with as big of a day as jada had, it’s even likely that she sleeps in tomorrow.
rafe sets the baby monitor down on the night table anyways, always a little more cautious than you.
“can i say something corny?” you ask as rafe lays down next to you, his eyes moving from your exposed breasts up to your eyes.
“of course.”
“im so glad that when we got married i knew it would just be us. like- i just mean watching my aunt marry and divorce, marry and divorce. knowing that we would just be together.”
“i completely know what you mean.” rafe agrees. when he first told you he loved you, he also admitted you were the first person he's ever loved, that he had to do years of work on himself to get to the point where he even could.
you know about his past only through what he's told you and the little bit of gossip you've heard around the island, having not lived in the outer banks before moving in with your aunt in your early 20s.
“and now look at us.” you smile. “we have jada, this house, and a beautiful family.”
“a beautiful family that…” rafe bats his eyelashes at you, and that's how you know this is something he really wants. “i would love to expand.”
“i-” you can't help but laugh, a big smile stretching over your cheeks. “i already stopped taking my birth control. i was going to talk to you about it tonight.”
rafe can't help but surge forward and kiss you. he should have known that you were already feeling the same, already together in your future plans.
you pull rafe so he's hovering over top of you, your arms moving up and down his toned shoulders and biceps.
“let's get started right now.” you smile up at him.
--
“please.” you whine out, back arching off the bed. “please, rafe, i need it.”
his thumb circles teasingly around your clit again, never hitting it quite right to send you over the edge.
“mmm, i guess you should cum first.” rafe pumps his hips again, knowing he's not too far from spilling into you himself.
“considering you work so hard growing out little ones.” its funny that rafe has already started to refer to your multiple children, despite jadas sibling being just a thought for now.
“yeah.” you nod. “let me cum.”
rafe finally relents, thumb not just touching your clit but rubbing into you, pulling and pushing on your flesh as your nerves light up, feeling the sensation throughout your whole body as your back aches and you let out a cry, wishing you could keep your eyes open to watch as rafe jaw falls open as he cums into you, but they squeeze shut, stars showing on your eyelids.
“fuck, fuck- y/n.” rafe grunts before whimpering your name, collapsing onto the bed but not before taking you with him, keeping your hips flushed together so you're now laying on top of his, softening cock still inside of you.
“can't pull out yet.” rafe just says, squeezing your ass as you nuzzle into his chest, knowing his mission from now until you're showing is to make sure there's another addition to your family soon.
#real ones remember the other story i wrote that takes place at readers aunts wedding#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x oc#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe imagine#rafe blurb#rafe one shot#rafe drabble#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron drabble
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many more (forever) - hong jisoo
wc: 1.1k
summary: jisoo said he wanted to spend the rest of his birthdays with you, so when midnight comes, he makes sure of it ♡
warnings: proposals, kissing, the rest of the sebongs r mentioned, but only jeonghan has actual dialogue !!! lots of cuteness !!! might be a little rushed and low quality
an: happy new year everyone !!! i guess im on a real joshua kick because i wrote this all today !!! i feel like such a loser posting this when i should be partying but like i said i’m the black cat so i chose to hide in my corner and post this instead :DD
(p.s. can you tell that the first paragraph or two was just me ranting ab my love for svt)
** this is a part two to joshua’s birthday fic many more !!! you don’t have to but i recommend you read it first !! **
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
it’s new year’s eve, and you’re welcoming the new year with the same thirteen boys who have kept you alive since your adolescence. many friends have come and gone, along with so much drama. you’ve experienced your fair share of trauma and all the things to help season your personality, and it’s always been them who were by your side. maybe it’s the alcohol that had been shoved in your face but it brings you to tears knowing that you’re going into yet another year with those you love.
like, seriously. they’re all your biggest priority, and their friendship and affection is something you wouldn’t trade for the world. at this point, it’s not even friendship. you’re all family. looking at all of them around you, laughing and playing games together, a few sharing drunken affections, it gives you a feeling of warmth.
you’re sitting with jeonghan on the couch, observing the others as they continue playing games and partying. he’ll occasionally comment or say something to throw one of them off, and your cheeks warm, giggling as you fit into the atmosphere. he turns to you, an eyebrow raised.
“you’re awfully quiet,” he starts, taking a large sip of his drink before pouring the rest of it into your cup. “join the fun, why don’t you?” he teases.
“i would be having fun if you all would quit stealing my boyfriend from me every time i try talking to him..” you say back with a little too much bite, drinking from your newly refilled cup. you wince at the flavor, but it’s good enough to let you loosen up.
jeonghan checks the time on his phone, and the screen lights up: five minutes until midnight. with that he smirks, getting up and holding his hand out to you. “well, let’s find him then.”
you let jeonghan lead you through the house, exchanging small words with some of your friends before finally finding joshua. funnily enough, he’s being crowded by seungcheol and seokmin. they all seem to be in deep conversation, and jeonghan turns to you, putting a finger up, signalling “one moment” before joining in. joshua’s blushing throughout their entire conversation, and funnily enough it reminds you of the conversation he was having before he asked you out. same people and everything. they start to conclude their chat, seungcheol patting him on the back before he can finally make his way towards you.
putting his cup down on the nearest surface, he finally meets you and brings you into a hug. “hey, baby. sorry i’ve been so caught up.” he gives you a kiss, one full of warmth before pulling away with his signature eye smile. maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the excitement of going into the new year but you can feel his heart racing against your cheek.
“are you okay? what are they teasing you about over there?” you raise an eyebrow.
someone’s turned the countdown on the tv, and there’s about two minutes. he turns to you, kissing your head. “you’ll find out soon enough.”
you stay right where you are, engaging in conversation with the others while you wait. there’s many strange looks you catch some of the boys giving him, and he pauses every couple sentences to hide his face in your neck. yet, every time you ask him what it’s about, he dismisses you.
finally, it’s down to the last twenty seconds, and everyone huddles together on the same couch (both the back of it and the arms are being sat on as well, and you and a few others had to sit on people’s laps to all fit). just as it hits the last ten seconds everyone begins pushing you and joshua to stand up on the floor. with a dramatic groan, he helps you up and stands beside you, an arm around your shoulder.
five… four… three… two… one!!!
the group erupts into cheer, confetti poppers and noise makers blowing everywhere. a few (all) of the members are kissing each other and everyone’s cups clink together and sticky drinks splatter everywhere but you pay no mind because as soon as the fireworks started bursting your lips met joshua’s in the sweetest kiss, welcoming in the new year. his touch is so gentle, hand shaking slightly against the back of your head as he holds you, giving you the best of his love to start your year the right way. when you pulled away you were going to question why it was a little frantic but everyone’s shouting of “go! go! do it!” overpowered your words, and you turn to them to see what they’re talking about. they immediately gesture for you to turn back, and when you do your world stops.
joshua’s gotten down on one knee. you immediately feel almost lightheaded, your heart rate quickening and your body heating up. he looks up at you, and his smile is anxious yet golden as he reaches in his pocket. he’s about to start his ment, but first turns to the boys and gives them a look to shut them up. once they do, he gives them a sweet smile before returning to you.
“darling.. oh, wow, i’m nervous, sorry. anyway, i don’t know if you were conscious enough to hear me when i said this last night..” his expression is teasing. “but i said that i wanted to spend many more of my birthdays with you. my time with you is something extremely dear to me, and i’d do anything to make sure i can have it for the rest of my life. of course, that’s my wishful thinking, and i’ll take whatever time with you that you’ll give me, but i figured that we could come to a mutual agreement with something like this, so..” with a deep breath, your name falls from his lips. “will you please do me the honor of spending the rest of our birthdays and new years as my wife?” he finally takes the velvet box out of his pocket, revealing the most beautiful ring you’ve ever seen. it’s exactly your style, and with tears in your eyes you vigorously nod your head yes.
it’s quite unconventional but you fall to your knees, wrapping your arms around him in the tightest hug of your life. “yes, please, josh, oh my god, yes!” you cry, laughing when he pulls you off him to slide the ring on your finger. it fits perfectly, and in the seven thousand camera flashes of everyone around it shines beautifully. when you look back up at him, he’s crying too, and he pulls you in for your second kiss of the new year, and the first as your fiancée. hopefully, like his plan was cut out, it’s the first of many.
───── ⋆⋅ ⊹ ⁺ 𐔌 ᩧ ຼ ͡ ৯ ♡໒⁀ ᩧຼ ꒱ིྀ ⁺ ⊹ ⋅⋆ ─────
#mejaemin#seventeen#svt#svt x reader#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#svt fluff#hong jisoo#hong jisoo x reader#joshua hong#joshua hong x reader#hong joshua#hong joshua x reader#joshua hong fluff#hong jisoo fluff#joshua fluff
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Always and Never Our Time
Requested Here!
Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!SWAT!reader
Summary: You love Deacon and Deacon loves you, but you keep missing one another because the time is never right. Until your time, imperfect and late at night, finally comes along.
Warnings: angst to fluff, insecurities and misunderstandings, canon divergent, comfort at the end
Word Count: 4.3k+ words
Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List
It’s tiring watching the man you dream about from a distance. Though you’re standing inches from him, working side-by-side with your life in his hands daily, there’s a distance between you and Deacon Kay that you’re desperate but unable to close. You love Deacon - have loved him for years - but you missed your chance. The brief moment where you simply knew Deacon, where you could have made your dream come true had you just told him how you felt, came crashing down when it ended.
The weight of your unspoken feelings grows more suffocating each day that passes. But the timing isn’t right, so you’ll stay by his side and support him in everything. If, or when, your time finally comes, you’ll be ready.
“How’s Annie?” Luca asks as you exit Black Betty.
Once upon a time, Deacon offered a hand to help you. Today, as he talks about his girlfriend, you thank Hondo for his assistance as you place your palm over his and jump onto the asphalt.
“She’s great,” Deacon answers, sending an invisible glance your way. “She pointed out again that we could have been married by now if I’d asked her out sooner.”
“Good things come to those who wait, that’s what you always say, right, Deac?” Tan interjects.
You barely conceal your amused snort at that; if all you had to do to get good things was be patient, a lot of people would stop fighting for the things they love, content to sit in silence on the sidelines or bide their time with something else until what they wanted was ready. Not completely dissimilar to what you’re doing, you realize.
“Right,” Deacon agrees, furrowing his brow as he watches you. “But we’ve known each other for a long time, so there’s bound to be some questions in this period of moving from friends to being in a relationship.”
“What about you?” Hondo asks quietly. “Anything new in your life?”
“I heard a new joke,” you answer. “Two, if you count my thoughts about my own life.”
“Hey,” Hondo says, pulling you to a stop as everyone enters HQ. He waits until you face him to add, “I get it. Even if you don’t want me to see it, I know you’re not the same as you were before Deac and Annie started dating. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but don’t put your life on hold for one relationship that may never happen.”
“You want me to start dating someone else to get my mind off him? Hondo, this isn’t a romcom.”
Hondo laughs, but you can tell he genuinely cares about you in this. “Trust me, there’s nothing funny about this. I just don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you have to. If he’s moving on… maybe you should consider doing the same, even if it’s just taking the next stop by yourself and doing something for you.”
You hum, surprised by Hondo’s good advice. “Thanks. In that case, join me for spa night?”
“I know you’re kidding, but I could use it. Convince Luca to gift you the package and I’ll come with.”
You roll your eyes as you walk into HQ with Hondo. When you walk behind Deacon and hear him mention his incredibly thoughtful date night plan for Annie, you feel another piece of your heart tug loose, tied to a dream that passed while you were still asleep.
TWO MONTHS LATER
“Morning, Smiley,” Rocker greets you as you enter the station. “You’re taking the news well.”
“What news?” you ask.
Rocker shakes his head and points at your team. Save for Deacon, they’re all gathered in a small circle and talking quickly with small gestures.
“What happened?” you inquire as you stop between Luca and Tan.
“Deac and Annie broke up,” Hondo tells you, watching your reaction closely.
“Oh, sorry to hear that. Is he okay?”
“He will be,” Tan tells you. “From what little bit he shared, it sounded like it was his choice. They were growing apart, she wanted something else, I guess.”
You nod before they brainstorm a boys’ night to cheer him up. As you walk toward the locker room, your phone buzzes.
I had a great time last night. See you Friday.
“Hey,” Deacon greets, drawing your attention from your date’s text.
“Hi,” you reply, turning off the phone without answering. “Hondo told me about you and Annie. I’m really sorry, Deacon.”
He shrugs before he raises his foot to the bench to tie his boot. It’s been several weeks since you talked, and your relationship has been strained since he first started dating Annie. Back then, you wanted to wait for him. Then you convince yourself he may never be ready, so you let yourself move on, grow in yourself, and feed other relationships.
As Deacon looks at you now, he wonders why he even started dating Annie. Something inside him convinced him that you’d never go out with him, that you were too good, too young, too close, just too far out of his reach. So, he let the idea go and tried to find the feeling he thought you’d provide in someone more like him. However, now that his relationship with Annie is over, he realizes he just used more valuable time that he can never find again. If he could find the words now, maybe he could change everything.
“How are you? Didn’t you go on a date a few weeks ago?” he asks instead.
“Yes,” you answer, looking in your locker rather than at him. “We’ve been on a few more dates, went out last night, actually. He’s an attorney. Really sweet, a good guy.”
“That’s good,” Deacon responds softly.
You look at Deacon, unsurprised to see he looks the same as he sounded, like he's missing something, lost an important piece of himself that he can’t replace. Part of you begs to be let out, to tell him that you waited for him, but a louder piece of Deacon makes him speak first.
“I hope it works out,” he says. “See you out there.”
Watching Deacon leave, you wonder why time has to be so cruel.
SIX MONTHS LATER
“Hey,” Street, the newest member of your team, calls, “if I ever get sued-“
“What did you do?” you ask.
“Nothing! I swear. But if I ever do, could your boyfriend help me out? Represent me in court and turn it around on the other guy. I would be innocent, of course… mostly innocent.”
“I’m sure he’d help you, but, uh… we’re not together anymore.”
“I’m so sorry,” Street apologizes, his eyes widening. “No one told me.”
“It just happened,” you explain with a shrug. “Literally, five minutes ago in the parking lot.”
“Are you okay? Wait, don’t answer that, don’t move.”
Street turns and runs down the hall, sliding as he takes the corner too sharply. A moment later, he returns, steering Luca and Hondo toward you.
“I want to be on this team, but I wasn’t trained for this,” he tells them before he leaves again.
“What happened?” Hondo inquires.
You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you debate your answer. “I didn’t think I cared about this relationship,” you begin. Tears build in your eyes despite your long-withstanding feelings for Deacon, feelings stronger than anything you felt for your now ex. “But hearing him list my insecurities and treat my feelings like a closing argument wasn’t exactly enjoyable.”
Luca pulls you into his arms, wrapping you tightly in a protective hug. You grip his shirt and cry against his chest.
“Him dumping me isn’t even what hurt,” you say as you step back. “It was him calling me out for having a crush on Deacon that will never go anywhere.”
“Whoa, hey,” Hondo interrupts, placing his hand on your shoulder. “He was just mad because he thought you had feelings for someone that wasn’t him. Even if you do have those feelings, that was no reason for him to go off on you like that.”
“He was right,” you argue. “I didn’t start dating him as a distraction, but I compared everything he did to what I think someone else would do. Even though I know it’s hopeless, I’m holding on to the idea of something that will never happen!”
“Hey, are you okay?” Deacon asks as he enters the station, dropping his backpack at the sight of Luca and Hondo comforting you and the tears streaming down your face.
You wipe your cheeks with your hands and nod. “I’m okay, Deac. Thanks.”
Stepping around Luca, you rush away from the man you want but will never have. Everything you want in life, a relationship, and your future is inside Deacon. Yet you can’t talk to him right now without falling apart and telling him everything.
After you leave, Deacon sighs and rubs his hand against his jaw.
“You’ve been waiting for a chance since you left Annie,” Luca points out.
“Now’s that chance, my man,” Hondo finishes.
“I’m not going to go after her while she’s heartbroken,” Deacon replies. “She’s dealing with enough without me pushing my feelings onto her.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Hondo, we work together, we put our lives on the lines daily, and adding feelings to that won’t make anything better.”
“That doesn’t mean burying them won’t make it worse,” Hicks says.
Deacon turns quickly, surprised by the Commander’s intrusion. Hicks shrugs and lifts his mug, stirring creamer into his coffee.
“You’re talking in a public area, gentlemen, can’t expect privacy. Look, Deacon, the way I see it is that you’re angry you wasted so much time, so you’re looking for a way to prevent more time from slipping between your fingers. Yet, you’re so convinced by an insecurity or some perceived unspoken rule that you’re doing just that. Heartbreak doesn’t mean a heart isn’t ready to be given away again.”
“When did you get so wise?” Luca inquires.
“I’m the only one in this room that’s ever been married,” Hicks brags. “Figure it out or drop it, but the grip you’re holding now will give out and hurt more than just you in the fallout, Sergeant Kay.”
Deacon sighs, he knows that, and he’s known it since the very beginning. Every time he tries to let go, to move on, he sees you or catches a glimpse of the life you could have together and claws his way back to the idea, digging into it firmer and deeper than before.
“So?” Luca asks.
“Time to let it go,” Deacon announces.
As he leaves, Luca and Hondo shake their heads. It won’t be long before he’s back where he started. You will continue to dance around one another until you find the courage to say all those unspoken things or the music ends, and one of you is left to regret the time spent in silence and solitude.
TWO MONTHS LATER
“I love you,” Deacon tells you.
You smile as he pulls you close, letting his lips brush over your cheekbones before you reply, “I love you more.”
“Impossible.”
As you laugh, Deacon’s grip on your waist loosens. He looks down at you, and something akin to doubt flashes in his eyes.
“If you loved me you wouldn’t have waited so long.”
You wake quickly, inhaling raggedly as you clutch a pillow against your chest. It’s time, you decide. Time to tell Deacon everything. You can explain that you’ve had feelings for him since before he started dating Annie, beg him to forgive you for wasting so much time with your ex, for letting the fear of doing the wrong thing and driving him away dictate you for so long.
Your alarm rings, and you cancel it immediately. As you prepare for the day, you rehearse what you could say in your head, but after you park at SWAT HQ, you decide that this needs to come from your heart, not your mind.
“Hondo!” you call as you jog into the station. “Where’s Deac?”
“Finishing a training session with 60 Squad,” he answers.
“I need to talk to him.”
“It might be a while. He’s meeting with Hicks and the Commissioner today; he wants to be considered for the next open leadership position in SWAT,” Luca tells you. “He’s dedicated, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him so committed to something.”
Your smile falls, and you suddenly feel like you’re full of lead, a stark contrast to the excited, bouncy feeling you entered with.
“Oh,” you murmur. “That’s great. What do you think his chances are?”
“Pretty great,” Hondo answers, watching Deacon lead the other on-duty SWAT team back into the training area. “He already got robbed of one promotion, but he’s proven that he can do it. I see no reason they’d pass him over.”
You nod, and this time, it’s Street who notices the longing look you wear as you watch Deacon give advice to the newer SWAT members. He pats your back and sends you a sad nod.
There’s nothing you can do; it’s never your time. Whenever you’re ready, Deacon isn’t. The few times he’s been single or acted remotely interested in more, you’ve been in a position that won’t allow it. You give Deacon another piece of your heart each time you miss one another. You’ll be completely heartless before time gives you another chance at this rate. The worst part is that you’re so blinded by your disappointment, so caught up in how you feel compared to what you can’t say or do, that you don’t notice Deacon is exchanging pieces of his heart for yours.
THREE MONTHS LATER
“Deac, we’re going to dinner then Jimbo’s,” Hondo says across the locker room. “You in?”
“Not tonight,” Deacon replies. “Thanks, but I’ll catch you next time?”
“That’s what you said the last four times!” Luca complains. “Are you sure?”
Deacon nods, and Hondo makes him promise before closing his locker and leading Luca, Tan, and Street out into the hallway to drive to dinner. You wave and tell them you’ll meet them there, but don’t move away from Deacon.
“What’s the new job?” you inquire.
Deacon looks surprised that you know about his second job but recovers quickly and says, “Private security.”
Nodding, you resist the urge to reach out to him. Over the last few days, it has taken every bit of your self-control to distance yourself from Deacon. You need more, and the craving becomes a monstrous pit inside you, a chasm threatening to pull you under until it’s all you know. All because you want Deacon, wholly and selfishly.
“Do you like it?” you ask, shifting to hold your hands behind your back.
“It’s fine,” he admits. “Maybe I’d like it more if I didn’t have to do it.”
“I didn’t think of that. No more overtime, no more OT pay.”
“Right. I was barely holding everything together before, but when that went into effect…” Deacon trails off and laughs humourlessly as he closes his locker. “At least it’s temporary.”
Unlike your feelings. “Listen, Deac, if you need anything-“
“We’re friends, I can’t ask you to do that,” he interrupts.
His words feel like a knife to your heart. You are friends, it’s true, but the recent strengthening of your feelings, the urge to walk into Deacon’s arms and never leave, gives his words an edge like a sword. It cuts through you, directly to the part of you that continues to love Deacon despite fearing that you’ll never know what it’s like to be loved by him.
“It wouldn’t change anything,” you assure him quietly. “Goodnight, Deacon.”
He watches you leave, wondering how different life would be now if he’d told you everything when he had the chance.
THREE MONTHS LATER
Your desperation for Deacon has eased since the night in the locker room. You can look at him, carry a conversation, and accept his hand as you stand from the locker room bench with little more than a pang in your heart. Plus, overtime has been reinstated, Deacon’s money issues have become a thing of the past, and your team is stronger and closer than ever. Combined with other things, Deacon allows these good things to be a kind of omen, an encouragement that things are getting better, that the times you’re in now are better than those you came from. So, he stands between Hicks’ office and the locker room to wait for your return from a raid with 50-David Squad. You enter first, smiling as you remove your helmet and pick up your pace to greet Deacon.
The words are ready on his tongue, a proposition, a question that will change everything. Will you go out with me? Will you forgive me for all the nights I wasted, all the tears and unshared feelings, and give me a chance to show you that the wait only made me surer of you and what we could be?
But before he can ask, Hicks steps out of his office and calls your name. “Rocklin PD requested your temporary transfer to train and lead their new SWAT team. Talk it over with your team and let me know by the end of the day,” he explains.
Your eyes widen in shock, but you answer, “Yes, sir.” After shaking your head to clear it, you look at Deacon to ask, “What did you want to talk about it?”
“Nothing important,” Deacon lies, spurred by the opportunity you’re facing. He refuses to get in the way of your career and dreams – painfully unaware that your dreams consist almost exclusively of him. “Rocklin, that’s an honour.”
“Rocklin itself isn’t, but, yeah, that’s a great position,” you agree. “I don’t know, though.”
“Don’t tell me you’re leaving us,” Street laments as the rest of your team approaches. “You’re the only one that understands me.”
“That’s not a compliment,” Tan taunts.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you admit. “It’s an amazing offer, but I don’t have training experience.”
“Street’s better off because of you,” Tan points out.
“I agree,” Street says. “They’d be lucky to have you, but we’ll hate them forever for taking you from us.”
“You should go,” Deacon encourages.
You turn to face him, a crease between your brows that shows your combination of shock and disappointment. If Deacon had asked you to stay, you would have, without hesitation, but his encouragement to go, to live hundreds of miles from him for an unknown length of time rattles you. Maybe you misread everything, and he was going to tell you something you didn’t want to hear when you came in, and this is the perfect excuse for him to not have to tell you.
“We’ll support you no matter what,” Luca promises, but your eyes remain locked on Deacon’s.
“Thanks,” you murmur. “I’ll think it over and let you know. I’m going to change.”
You push between Street and Hondo, distracted and deaf to Hondo asking Deacon what he was thinking by pushing you away. You also fail to hear Deacon’s broken reply, “Because it’s better than anything I could have offered.”
SIX MONTHS LATER
When you walk into LAPD SWAT HQ for the first time in half a year with a new haircut and a noticeable glow, you draw attention. Street sees you first and abandons his sparring match with Rocker to jump out of the ring and greet you with a warm hug. Luca and Hondo follow soon after, and then you’re hidden beneath four teammates as they rock you back and forth and welcome you back.
“Did you knock those Rocklin officers into shape?” Hicks asks, smiling as he wraps his arm over your shoulders in half a hug.
“I did my best,” you answer. “They got lucky with a good set of recruits.”
“About your position on 20 Squad…”
Your smile drops as you look over at Hondo. He manages to hold his composure for about five seconds before he laughs, bending over because of amusement at the devastated look on your face.
“It’s still yours,” Hicks promises, tapping your shoulder. “We’ve been waiting for you to get back since the day you left, we can’t replace you!”
You place your hand over your heart and exhale, shaking your head as your smile returns. They’re still the team you know and love, except for…
“Where’s Deacon?” you ask.
Hondo looks at Hicks, who looks at Luca, who looks down at his shoes.
“He’s at lunch with Annie,” Tan tells you softly. “They’ve been trying to work things out for a few weeks.”
You nod. “I was worried he’d abandoned you guys without me here to keep some semblance of sanity.”
Hondo smiles, relieved you’re not too upset by hearing the news. Inside, you’re unsure where you stand, but there’s also a glimmer of hope in this. You’re back where you started: Deacon is with Annie, and you’re working on yourself. Maybe this full circle moment is exactly what you need to move on and stop letting Deacon control your every thought.
“What are you doing tonight, Street?” you ask.
“What I was born to do, ballin’ and shot callin’,” he jokes. “You want to join? My buddy Kel will be there, I think you’d like him.”
You feel Hondo’s eyes on you, but you ignore his questioning look as you agree, “I’d love to.”
Several hours later, a car parks against the curb before your house. It idles for about a minute, then the headlights turn off before the ignition silences. Deacon exits the driver’s seat and tosses his keys back and forth between his hands as he approaches your door. He hasn’t seen you since you left for Rocklin. After a meeting with Annie in which they decided that their relationship was hopeless and they were better off as friends, he knew he had to see you and explain his feelings.
Deacon knocks on your door, but there are no lights on inside. He texts you, but there’s no reply to that either. Torn between calling you or taking this as a sign and leaving, Deacon leans against your door and thinks. The last six months without you have been made up of some of the hardest days of his life. He misses you and has come to understand just how much he needs you, and now that he has a chance to see you again, you’re not home. Just like always. Every chance he has seems to end like this, and Deacon isn’t sure how much more time he can give it before he’ll have to walk away from you. He’s been hurt, and he’s seen you hurt, so he doesn’t want to put himself or you through any more than he has to.
You enjoy the company at dinner with Street and his friends, but your mind drifts back to Deacon every moment you get.
“Why don’t you just tell him?” Street’s friend Kel asks.
“There’s too much at stake,” you answer, shrugging.
“It’s all at stake if you don’t tell him, too.”
“Don’t be so smart, you’re supposed to be Street’s friend,” you joke. “I’ve been thinking about that, but… I guess I’m just scared about what might happen.”
“But you’re terrified by what might not.”
You smile and set your drink down. “At that, I’m calling it a night.”
“No!” Street exclaims.
“I haven’t slept in my own bed in six months and now all I can think about is Deacon. Which actually isn’t that much different than usual. I’ll see you at work, but thanks for tonight.”
The following day, you’re running off pure adrenaline. You tossed and turned all night, your mind swimming with thoughts of Deacon and everything you want, and it all seems reachable now. Then, when you arrived at work, you were met with an unhinged crime spree that had you bouncing between SWAT teams, in and out of HQ all day. Altogether, it left you even more tired and willing to tell Deacon everything.
That’s why running into him in the parking lot after sundown makes you stop. Your barriers are gone, your walls have been obliterated, and you don’t think about any consequences as you ask, “What took so long?”
Undeterred by your blunt question, Deacon responds, “It was never our time. Because it had to be perfect, but it never was.”
“And it never can be.”
“I don’t believe that. Do you?”
“No!” you answer, tossing your arms up. “So why have we been dancing around each other for years?”
“We were scared, waiting for the perfect moment in a world of imperfect opportunities.”
“And now?” you ask with a sad chuckle.
“Now feels pretty perfect,” Deacon says, his smile growing as he moves toward you.
“You can forgive me for missing you so often?” you ask as you lay your hands on his shoulder while his hands find your waist.
“If you can forgive me for doing the same.”
You nod and meet Deacon in the middle, falling into a kiss that brings your worlds together in a beautiful collision. Your lives connect, finally meeting after years of running parallel to one another and getting close enough to imagine what this would feel like. It’s the perfect product of every moment, every missed opportunity, and fear as you prove to one another that there’s love, admiration, and joy in your relationship. And this is only the beginning.
“Why’d you come to my house last night?” you ask as you pull back.
“How’d you know about that?” Deacon counters, raising his brows.
“Street took my phone, told me about the text during the Hollywood call this morning. I’m sorry I missed you.”
“It was the end of an era.”
You roll your eyes and kiss Deacon before he can make another comment about how it was somehow always but never your time until you took the leap and accepted the imperfect.
The door behind you opens then closes, and Hondo yells for the rest of your team when he sees you kissing Deacon. Finally.
#david deacon kay x reader#david kay x reader#david deacon kay#deacon kay fluff#deacon kay x reader#deacon kay#swat cbs#swat x reader#fem!reader#requests#hanna writes✯
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one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr;8 mile
word count: 3481
request?: no
description: she’s always been viewed as just “one of the guys” despite having feelings for one of her friends, and now it’s looking likely that she’s going to lose him to the wannabe model
pairing: jimmy smith jr. x female!reader
warnings: swearing, pining
masterlist (one, two, three)
I had known Jimmy and Future since we were a bunch of snot nosed kids causing trouble on the playground in elementary school. Cheddar Bob was next, having followed us around like a lost puppy until we finally adopted him. Iz and Sol joined our little group in high school, and then we were complete.
For as long as I had known the guys, they considered me to be...well, one of the guys. Even after I went through puberty and actually started looking like a girl, I was still just one of the guys. It didn’t bother me for the most part. When you’re a kid, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a boy or a girl. We all played the same, caused trouble the same. But when we hit puberty, I found myself not liking being considered “one of the guys” anymore.
Especially when I realized I had feelings for Jimmy.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a part of the friend group and I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. What I definitely could ask for, though, was for those friends to recognize I was a woman and treat me as such. Namely, I wished Jimmy would realize that.
One Friday evening, just like every Friday evening, I had just pulled into my driveway and was walking up to my front door when I heard another car pulling up behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Future.
“Get your ass changed, we’re going out!” he called.
“Future, I just got home,” I said.
“So?”
“So maybe I don’t want to go out with you chuckle fucks after I just worked an eight hour shift.”
“We both know that’s not the truth.”
I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He was right, I did want to go out. We went out every Friday night. It was a group tradition at this point. If I was seriously turning it down, there’d have to be something wrong with me.
“Give me 10 minutes,” I told Future before slipping into my house to change.
I was in and out in less time than I told him. I just changed out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt, and was ready to go again. I got into the passenger seat of Future’s car and he didn’t even wait for me to buckle myself in before he was backing out of my driveway and driving off to get the others.
“I fear for my life every time I get in the car with you,” I joked as I managed to buckle my seatbelt.
“Well, lucky for you, Jimmy agreed to drive tonight. His car can hold more people anyways.”
“Who else is going with us?”
“Just the usual.”
I looked over at Future in confusion. His tone definitely made me think there was someone else coming along for the night, but it seemed he wasn’t going to tell me. I couldn’t figure out who could possibly be joining us that Future wouldn’t want to tell me about beforehand.
We pulled into the trailer park and parked next to Jimmy’s car. Jimmy was exiting his trailer before we were even out of the car, as usual. Jimmy was usually waiting for us to show up and would be itching to leave his mom’s place as soon as he could. Jimmy gave Future one of their high five hugs, and patted me on the shoulder. It was just a step up from me also getting a high five hug, but not by much.
We got into Jimmy’s car, all three of us in the front. We started for Iz and Sol first, then Cheddar Bob. Once the car was full it was nothing but noise as each of the guys was talking over one another with Jimmy’s radio blaring as extra noise.
“How was work, by the way?” Jimmy asked me over the current argument between Future and Sol.
“Same bullshit as always,” I responded.
“I guess we should be lucky you even agreed to come out with us after working all day, meanwhile all we do is sit on our asses like a bunch of bums.”
I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Hey, you work, too.”
“I wouldn’t consider the Stamping work.”
I chuckled. I noticed then that we weren’t headed for the club. “Where are we going?”
“To pick up Alex.”
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I looked over at Future. I couldn’t tell if he was actually deep in conversation with Iz or if he was just ignoring me. So this was who was joining us that he didn’t want to tell me about.
Alex.
She was a girl Jimmy had met at his work. She was a model apparently, or was trying to be one. Jimmy didn’t talk about her much, but the other guys didn’t waste a single moment in teasing him about her. It didn’t take a genius to realize he liked her.
Alex was waiting as Jimmy pulled up. She was wearing her usual mini skirt so short that you could basically see everything whenever she moved. It made me feel very self conscious about my choice in jeans.
Future opened the door and got out.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. I already knew the answer and hoped he’d see the look of begging on my face.
“I’ll get in the back with the idiots,” he said. “I’d assume Alex will be more comfortable pressed up against you instead of Sol.”
“Yo, fuck you!” Sol snapped.
I hoped my clenched jaw would go unnoticed as Alex slid into the seat next to me. Her eyes immediately went to Jimmy and they shared a smile that made me wish I could throw myself from the moving car.
We got to the club and piled into our usual table while Future got the first round of shots. Cheddar Bob and Iz were sat on one end, I was in the middle, Jimmy and Alex were sat next to me, and Sol had pulled up a chair. When Future returned, he slid in next to Cheddar Bob. The table chorused with cheers as we held up our shots then shot them back.
I tried to play it cool, but having to sit next to Alex and Jimmy while they were flirting up a storm was making me more tense by the minute. When Sol offered to get the next round of drinks, I jumped to give him the money to buy me two of the strongest drinks he could for me. I downed the first one quickly, but took my time with the second. It didn’t take long for the shot and the first drink to kick in. My head was spinning and I felt care free and light as air.
At some point, when the drinks had hit me hard enough, I shoved against Iz’s shoulder and said (or rather slurred), “Hey, can you guys move? I gotta pee.”
“Yo, go the other way,” Future said. “There’s three of us here and only two on your other side.”
“You’re gonna break the dam this early in the night?” Sol asked. “You may as well sit on the end when you come out. You’ll be back and forth for the next few hours.”
“Look, I don’t care who moves and I don’t care where I sit when I come back, I just have to pee now.”
“Here, we’ll move,” Jimmy said.
He and Alex moved out of the booth and allowed me to get out. When I stood, I realized just how drunk I already was as I almost immediately lost my balance. I felt someone grab hold of me as the rest of the table chorused in laughter at my drunkenness. When I looked up, it was Jimmy that had taken hold of me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.
“I’m getting you water when you come back,” he said. “And you gotta pace yourself.”
“You’re always looking out for me,” I said. “You’re such a good friend.”
I put emphasis on the friend for my own benefit, but there was also some level of petty in the word. A reminder for both of us that that was the only way he saw me: as a friend. One of the guys that he went out drinking with every weekend, that he smoked with in the basement of someone’s house, that he ran around Detroit with causing mayhem since we were tykes.
I saw a look flash across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher, but I assumed I was just seeing things in my drunken haze.
I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own without incident. Once I was safely inside of a stall, I was able to sit down again. I almost didn’t want to get up and go back out to the table. Sitting was safe. The world didn’t spin when I was sat down. But I also couldn’t be sat on the toilet in a club bathroom all night either. I knew Sol was right about me going back and forth to the bathroom now that I had broken the dam, but if I put enough time between this bathroom visit and the next, maybe the spinning wouldn’t be as bad by then.
When I stepped out of the stall to wash my hands, I jumped to see that someone was waiting there.
Alex.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.
I waved away her apology. “It’s fine. I just didn’t hear anyone else come in.”
I stepped around her to wash my hands. She turned to face me as I did. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”
I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”
“Is there anything going on between you and Jimmy?”
The question took me by surprise. Why would she think there was anything between us? In all the time that Jimmy had known Alex, I had only met her once before after the lot of us had run into her at a house party. I remembered Jimmy only having eyes for her that night, too. There was no reason I could even fathom that she would believe Jimmy and I had a thing going on when he was so clearly into her.
“No,” I said. “He’s my best friend. Has been since we were kids.”
“And that’s it? Just friendship?”
“Yeah. What’s this about?”
She sighed. “I really like Jimmy, and I thought he liked me, too. But he’s never really asked me out or anything yet. I didn’t know if maybe you two had a thing going on and I read the whole situation wrong. I’ve known far too many guys who claim to be just friends with a girl and turns out they’re actually fucking around.”
Trust me, I wish that’s what was going on here.
Against my better judgement, I put my hands on Alex’s shoulders and said, “If you really like Jimmy and you want things to be more serious, maybe you should make the first move.”
She looked as though she had never even considered that option. “You think so? That won’t seem too...direct?”
“Who gives a shit? Why do men always have to be the ones to make the first move? Most of them are fucking idiots anyways and wouldn’t know if a girl liked them even if she was telling him to his face.” Alex chuckled. “If you want him, go get him.”
She nodded. I was taken by surprise when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly patted her on the back and tried to put the best smile I could muster on my face.
“You’re the best,” she said. “I think we’re going to be great friends.”
I bit my tongue as she hurried out the bathroom door.
That interaction was enough to sober me up more than I wanted. I could feel myself tearing up, but tried to fight it back. I turned to lean against the sink and looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice everything that Alex had that I didn’t: gorgeous face, sexy voice, body of a model. I couldn’t even dream of leaving the house in a skirt as short as hers without feeling completely embarrassed and exposed. Of course Jimmy would like her, and of course he was going to say yes when she asked him to go out with her.
I hung my head as the tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my face into the sink. I prayed no one would come into the bathroom and find me here crying, and luckily someone was looking out for me because no one did. Once I felt like I had cried myself dry, I quickly splashed my face with cold water and tried to pretend everything was alright. I figured everyone was going to question where I had been for so long, but I didn’t feel like coming up with a fake answer to tell them. If I told them to fuck off, they wouldn’t pry.
My steps faltered a little when I exited the bathroom and saw that Alex and Jimmy were missing from the table. I was tempted to go right to the bar and get another drink, but I pushed through and went back to my group of friends.
“Hey, you good?” Future asked as I sat down in the booth.
“Yeah, just sobered up a little,” I responded. “Where did Jimmy and Alex go?”
“Alex asked to talk to him in private,” Cheddar Bob responded. “But that was a while ago, so who knows where they are now.”
I noticed both Future and Iz elbow him, causing him to spill some of his drink on himself. I didn’t care to imagine where Jimmy had taken Alex after she asked him out. I didn’t need to have that image burned in my mind for the rest of the night.
Everyone went back to their conversations, but I found myself not paying any attention to them. I kept glancing around the club, expecting to see Jimmy and Alex tucked away in a private corner, sucking face as if they were trying to blend into one person. Or maybe they’d be on the dance floor, practically dry humping in front of everyone. I didn’t think Jimmy was one to dance, but Alex had enough allure that she could’ve probably convinced him. But I didn’t see them, and that almost made it all worse.
Eventually I stood from the table suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to me. “I need some air.”
“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Cheddar Bob asked.
“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. I turned and quickly made for the exit.
Once I was outside, I breathed in the cool night air. It filled my lungs, but it didn’t seem to help soothe me at all.
“You alright?”
“Jesus!” I hissed as I turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, leaning up against the club. “What the hell are you doing out here?”
“Free country,” he said with a shrug. “Are you good?”
“Just needed air. It felt very stuffy inside.”
I walked over to stand next to him. The rough brick wall dug into my back through my t-shirt. It was cool out, but not enough to make me feel like I needed a jacket or anything. I was standing so close to Jimmy that I could feel the heat coming from his body anyways.
“Where’s Alex?” I asked. “The guys said you two went off to talk in private.”
“She left,” he responded.
I looked at him in shock. “What? And went where?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Home, I guess?”
“Don’t you think you should’ve driven her? It’s not exactly the safest for her to be walking alone at night.”
“I offered, but she turned it down. Said she didn’t wanna see me ever again.”
I’ve definitely missed a lot of things here. “What happened?”
Jimmy sighed. “Well, she got up and went to the bathroom after you, said something about wanting to make sure you were okay where you were so drunk. Then when she came back she asked me if we could talk in private. She brought me outside and told me how she had been waiting for me to ask her out properly since we first met and she was tired of waiting, so she made the first move to ask me if I wanted to go on an official date with her.”
“And you said...”
He looked at me for a second before responding, “No. Obviously.”
Well, yeah, it was obvious that he said no. But what wasn’t obvious was why he had said no.
“I thought you were into her,” I said.
He laughed. “Who told you that?”
I shrugged. “The guys seemed convinced you were.”
“The guys don’t know shit about shit. They just like talking a big game and making fun of each other.” I just looked at him, waiting to see if there was any more he had to say. He looked at me then away again. “No, I’m not into her. She’s beautiful, yes, but I don’t see her that way.”
“Wait, so if you don’t see her like that, then why did you invite her tonight?”
“I didn’t. She was at the Stamping today and asked if she could come along. I guess this was her plan.”
Well, it wasn’t her plan until I told her to go after Jimmy, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.
I felt like everything had just been flipped upside down. I was so sure that Jimmy had been reciprocating Alex’s feelings. It seemed like that anyways. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was making it seem that way. I was projecting something onto the two of them that wasn’t really there, I guess because of my jealousy?
“Sucks that she didn’t handle the rejection well,” I said.
“It wasn’t the rejection, it was the reason I rejected her.”
My brows furrowed together. “The reason being...you didn’t like her like that?”
“No. Well...yes. Kind of.”
“You know, for a man who can freestyle, you’re god awful with your words right now.”
He laughed and lightly nudged me with his shoulder. “It was the reason I said I don’t have feelings for her. I told her that I don’t like her because I like someone else and she didn’t handle that very well.”
I could feel my stomach turning to knots again. “Oh? Didn’t like the competition?”
“No, she said something along the lines of she should’ve trusted her gut, and that all guys who hang out with girls end up fucking them in the end.”
It took a second for what he said to register in my brain. When it did, I thought back to Alex talking to me in the bathroom and asking me if there was anything going on between Jimmy and I because she knew of too many guys who were friends with girls who they were actually fucking. Then, I put the pieces together in my head.
When I turned to look at Jimmy again, he was already watching me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion. “Me?!”
“Jesus, that took you long enough.”
“What do you mean that took me long enough?! Why the fuck haven’t you told me?!”
“Because you’re my best friend! We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If I told you I liked you and you didn’t like me back, that would fuck everything up between us and within the friend group. I would rather feel this way in silence than risk losing you as a friend.”
“If you had told me I would’ve told your dumbass that I like you, too, and I have since high school.”
“Wait...for real?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for real!”
We both stood in silence. We shared a look, and then a smile broke out on Jimmy’s face. I couldn’t help but mirror it, and soon we were both laughing. With the absurdity of the situation, we couldn’t not laugh.
“We’re both dumbasses,” I said between fits of laughter.
“I guess so,” Jimmy agreed. “That brings up the question, though, of where do we go from here?”
“Well, I think we try a date, just the two of us and not those other idiots in there, and we see how things progress from there.”
He smiled. “Okay, I like that idea.”
“And we promise that if things don’t work out, we stay friends.”
“And we don’t tell the guys about any of this.”
I laughed. “Okay deal.”
#jimmy smith jr#jimmy smith jr imagine#jimmy smith jr x reader#eminem#eminem imagine#eminem x reader#marshall mathers#marshall mathers imagine#marshall mathers x reader#8 mile#one shot#imagine#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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what’s yours is mine (5/?)
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pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru
You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.
What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse AU)
Oh. That’s bad. That’s really, really bad. You don’t need even Mama to tell you that, don’t need her to say anything more when all your nose can pick up on was the overwhelming stench of sour milk and rotting fruit.
Yet, you ask anyway. Just to confirm. Just to see, to test the waters. You know lying is bad, but you’re not exactly averse to actually doing it.
Maybe you just aren’t that good of a kid.
“Does that mean that it’s bad?”
She snaps out of it, eyes losing their glossed over fear and realization dawning on her face as she immediately slaps a hand over her mouth, a look of evident shock and restrained worry making you stare on.
You haven’t seen her so… Panicked. Not that you remember any moments that she had been, anyway.
(Do you not watch her enough?)
“Sorry… I’m sorry…” Her hand shifts up, trailing her face until she was holding her forehead and releasing the breath that she was holding, voice trembling on a note so deep-seated in terror that you just can’t ignore it. You see her shoulders slumping and her eyes darting towards the new carpet on the floor, to the creaky old table as her body shook with just that tiniest uncertainty all along— Before her pretty, shifty eyes finally landed on you.
You can hear a sigh of relief.
“I-It’s not bad at all. No. Not at all. It’s just what some people say.” It was like she was assuring the both of you with staggered sentences that struggled to complete themselves.
Like she was jumbling, voicing words together just as they form in her head. Like she was just saying whatever was racing through her head as you catch the glimmer of sweat on her skin.
You’re pretty sure it wasn’t that hot in here… You helped her adjust the heater just now.
“You shouldn’t listen to them. Never,” She has to steady her shaking words, steady her stumbling, clumsy way of speech as the tension in the space finally lifts when she scrunches her eyes close, able to breathe easy again as she whispers those words to you. “Never listen to anyone who speaks that way.”
You blink.
“Not even you, Mama?” A tilt of your head as you’ve long gotten off of your chair, Pokemon printed socks padding towards her until your fingers lightly tapping her lap as a way to signal that you wanted to get on.
You think she really needs a hug. It always helped when you were on the verge of tears yourself.
“No…” She finally lifts her head, her hands reaching down and patting your hair as your eyes follow the trembling pen she still clutched so desperately. “Not even me, darling.”
You can see her twitch, watch as that same pen she had been clasping onto all this time finally fall out of her hands and tumble onto the recently bought, recently cleaned— And much softer carpet.
You were waiting for that to happen.
So you chase after it, crouching down to be able to pick it up, before running back into her arms under her watchful gaze and crawling onto her lap the next.
“Thank you.” A kiss to your hair and a pat of your head as you wrap your arms around her waist, face falling into contentment at the feel of being able to bury your face into your Mama’s softness. You can feel the way her sweatshirt feels warm and fluffy against your cheek, a fuzziness in your chest making you yearn for more pats and to hear her soft voice lull you into a sweeter comfort.
Though, your curiosity never sates.
“So is it not nice to be an omega?” You’re not exactly careful, not exactly getting the memo that it wasn’t something you should pry too much on even after that reaction. “Mama, do you hate being one?”
You’re just a kid, after all.
“It’s fine to be one,” A stroke of your head as her tone finally returns to that soft, gentle coo that you liked hearing so much. Albeit just that tiniest bit shaky. “Omegas are rare. You won’t see many around.”
“So…” Your eyes blink up at her, a small bit of an excited smile playing on your face when you realise your Mama was— Is special. “You’re like finding a Gold Machinedramon in a pack of Digimon cards?”
Now she is the one blinking at you, eyebrows furrowing momentarily with brief, apparent confusion as her hand stopped stroking your hair.
“Yes… Exactly like that, sweetie.”
You knew it. Satoru showed off his to you recently, your eyes glimmering at the way he had held that precious card up to the shining sun as Suguru could only sigh in the background.
“But being an Omega isn’t all that good.” You can feel her lean a cheek against your head, tenderly hugging her arms around you tighter as she speaks. “And some people might… Only love someone else just because they are an Omega.” She clears her throat.
“Or an Alpha.”
“Mn…?” What does that even mean? How can you love someone simply based on just that? But to be fair, you’ve seen cartoon characters get married because they kissed a frog.
“You shouldn’t befriend people like that— Or let them love you, okay?”
Huh? You don’t exactly get it, but it does sound like she’s right.
You feel her chest vibrate with a chuckle. “You’ll know a lot more when you’re older.” You can feel her pinch your cheek as you pout. “You should be worrying about what you want to eat for dinner later.”
When you’re an adult, huh? You don’t really like being told that, not even by your pretty Mama. Yet her last sentence still tugs a little too hard on your thoughts, pulling you into a state of worry and reassurance.
Because Mama doesn’t need to be anything more than your Mama for you to love her.
“I’ll love you even if you’re not an Omega, Mama.” It’s real, and your promise to her as you take another breath in at her scent, still wafting with the remnant aftermath of soured milk, yet slowly calming into waves of the sweet honey you love.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Her fingers comb through your hair as you hum contentedly. Afternoons after school might become your second favourite part of the day after walking to school with Suguru in the morning.
“So which one should I be, Mama?” It’s your final, whispered question. You don’t know if she heard it, don’t know if it was even audible from how muffled you were as your face is pressed directly into her chest.
Her mindless, aimless petting of your head stops as you feel her lean back to be staring down at you. It’s hard to discern, hard to tell what emotion was in her eyes. Yet, it was evident, despite how small it was, or how insignificant it would be to another person.
Her eyes were definitely wet.
“It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you no matter which one you end up being.”
(“Oh, and I want cheese hamburg for dinner today!”
A soft giggle.
“Alright.”)
You’re still stuck on it, though. Even as your eyes are narrowed at the ground and Suguru’s scarf is wrapped tight around your neck... All whilst you’re poking at the concrete walkway with a stick you picked up from the ground, as cold as it might be.
Ambiguity. Maybe you should make that your new enemy. Your sworn foe who you can vow to defeat in the final battle. It fits all the marks needed to be one too, right? A cool name, hard to spell… And the fact that you don’t quite like it for terrorizing you right now with the unfamiliar and the uncertain.
Even the cold spring air isn’t enough to make you forget. This season was ambiguous too, you think. The moments right after winter when the trees are still bare and there just wasn’t enough flowers blooming to call it spring just yet.
You can’t even call it winter either. There’s no snow, the air isn’t as cold, your breath can’t be seen— You don’t like ambiguity. Not one bit. So you hope that either Satoru or Suguru are already waiting at the—
“Gah, goddamn midget fuckin’ sized playgrou—“
That’s not a child. Or even anyone you recognize as a matter of fact. A stranger. A stranger had made his way into the playground that Satoru claimed nobody else was allowed into.
(Though to be fair, you did also trespass.)
He’s big. That’s probably the second thing you notice about him when your smaller feet are trotting up towards him. Maybe he’s too big for both your and the playground’s liking, that’s why his butt won’t fit comfortably on the seat.
You will speak for the things that don’t have the will to speak for themselves! That’s… What the magical girl said on that anime yesterday. You think.
“…it’s cause you’re too big, mister.” Mama would scold you for approaching a stranger like this. But you’re more intrigued by the fact someone had actually defied everything Satoru had told you about this sacred space, had dared to bully your beloved play area!
(With the power invested in you, you will…! Probably try to get him to stop kicking the slide with his dirty shoe.)
He broke all the rules. You’re sure most adults can read, right? Did he not see the big sign and really, really long letter of notice that you can’t quite read well yet?
Maybe he has trouble reading too. It is pretty hard.
You hope that’s not insulting to say, though. You’ll apologize later… But first you wanna know why this stranger’s all bruised and patched up with seemingly hundreds of bandaids as he grunts and scowls at inanimate playground infrastructure before locking his eyes onto you.
His hair is really dark.
“The hell? The fuck you doing in ‘ere—“
“You say a lot of bad words too.” You’re blinking up at him with a blank look as you continue, curiosity whirling through your head. Is this an adult too? “Your Mama would be sad if she heard you say that.”
Your eyes catch a glimpse of the small little tag on the leather bag so casually hanging off of his too big arm. You can’t exactly catch his name, but you recognize that it definitely… Probably was from this area? You’re not really sure. Nor have you walked anywhere past the playground, the market with your Mama… Or school.
But you do know that he looks pretty old. Mama did mention once that there’s a lot more older kids here than ones your age. He’s definitely one of those.
So… He’s an older kid that looks like an adult? How ambiguous, now that you think about it. An ambiguous ‘adult that’s not really an adult’ who looked like he doesn’t know how to react to you as his eyebrows furrow and his nose twitches, eyes glaring down at you before it suddenly clicks in his head at the way you had so fearlessly stepped inside.
“Tell ya what,” He doesn’t lean down, doesn’t squat to be at your height as he crosses the bruised skin of his slightly roughed up arms. He’s quite scary, if you think about it. “I won’t tell that Gojo kid you let me trespass if ya don’t tell anybody ‘bout me. Especially if you see some piss ugly punks who look like they got beaten up real bad ‘round here.”
You blink. Did you just get… Scammed? Is this really your fault? Were you at fault for not chasing him out? But to be fair he has a point. You don’t exactly know what Satoru would do if he did find out this very big man stepped more than ‘one of his dirty toes!’ into his playground.
And honestly? You don’t think neither you nor Suguru would be able to talk your stubborn friend out of demanding capital punishment for this stranger. You would definitely need more than the 13 cookies you watched him gobble up only a couple days ago.
Take the deal. It’s for the greater good, you think. Whatever that means. Heroes say it all the time, no?
“Okay.”
(You’re a hero now.)
And that’s how you ended up sitting on the swing seat next to him. Don’t get yourself wrong, he’s definitely scary, definitely looks like he could throw you around with one pinky finger.
And kind of reminds you of those delinquent characters you saw in the movie at Suguru’s house when his Papa had left it on accidentally.
Maybe you can ask if he’s a villain? Or if he’s a gangster. Would he have cool tattoos like in that movie? Maybe he’s got a metal bat stored away in that old bag of his.
“Mister, are you an Omega?” Yet, that’s all that you end of asking, all that passes your thoughts once more. The talk of these types of things within your home, within your school, on newspapers and on TV… It’s the best question that would best cure you of the knowledge itch.
Cause older kids like him should know more than you, right?
“This what kids talk ‘bout these days?” He sounds… So monotonously unfazed. “Don’tcha got better things to rattle on about?”
Honestly? You do. But your horoscope said that today was a day that you shouldn’t leave things unanswered, for they could bring about ‘unfortunate circuses’ or something like that.
So you ask anyway. You don’t know if you’ll really like a circus. Especially if it’s a bad one.
“No.” Your sandals kick up the sand below you, outsole making trenches on ground. “Don’t you have better things to do than get injured?”
Silence. A crow caws in the background as he narrows his eyes at you.
“Annoying brat, ain’t cha?” A huff out his nose as his words become as dry as the air, his head leaning back to look up at the darkening sky. Maybe it’s just you, but you also don’t like how the orange glow disappears all too quickly when you’re too wrapped up in your head to appreciate it.
At least it makes the shadow you casted on the ground longer and longer— Yet not quite as big compared to his.
“I’m an Alpha.”
Woahhhh. You don’t think you know any other Alphas past Geto-mama. Maybe that’s why he was so big. Geto-mama was definitely really tall. Though, you don’t think you’ve ever even seen an Alpha go to a playground for children.
“Is it fun?” It sure doesn’t look like it for him. You thought he’d be happy to be what was seemingly the strongest willed one. The one Mama talked about first.
(He could definitely find a Gold Machinedramon way faster than you, right?)
“Heh. Ain’t no way, kid.” The scar on his lip looks kind of cool, you think. He leans back, those scruffy bangs of his finally moving out of the way enough for you to be able to catch the shimmering green of his eyes.
He really did have a big shadow.
“Alphas are some of the biggest losers out there.” The way he speaks has too much spite, as if he sounded defeated as you watch his hand pat his thigh as if in search of something— All for naught.
“Ah, fuck. I’m out.”
A softer swear under his breath that you would have caught had it not been for how distraught you were at his words.
“But when I get bigger—“
“You won’t like most of ‘em when ya get bigger either, kid. They’re assholes. Every single last one of them rat bastards.”
Oh.
That’s quite the revelation. But at the same time, you feel something akin to a lump in your chest, an unsteadiness to your heart. You know it’s not tears that were threatening to spill, know it’s not panic-stricken fear that will leave you shaking like a leaf. In fact, you recognize it the best nowadays.
Uncertainty. A knowing doubt. Ambiguity. Your worst enemy.
“That’s not true, mister.” Your feet lift off the ground as you start to lightly swing again. “Alphas can be nice people too.”
You would know. Geto-mama was different, was not anything like he had just described. You like her— Love her, actually. She’s been nothing but good to you in the few years you’ve met her.
A kind lady. Your Mama says it’s hard to get Geto-mama to stop talking sometimes, though.
(You should ask for her astrology sign later. Just in case the news says she’s gonna have a bad day. It’s good to have someone warn you if they’re unlucky that day.)
“That so, huh?” He’s looking at you now, letting his lips stretch out into another smug grin with an uncharacteristic softness in his eye. “Then I hope to see how that shitty mindset of yours holds up when ya get older, kid.”
He’s kinda cool. He would probably make a really good drawing for someone. But—
“You said another bad word.”
“…you been keepin’ track?”
“Mhm.”
The sunlight finally fades when he sighs, the heels of his beaten loafers digging into the sand below as the metal of the chains squeak, finally free of his added weight. He stretches, arms behind his head as he yawns at the fading orange of the night.
“Remember our deal, kid.” His back faces you, only to turn his head only slightly, letting you see the scarred lip that you admired so much upon a grin. "And don't stay out too late out 'ere."
He wasn’t a bad Alpha either, you decide.
——
“Tch! That old man down the street’s a scammer!” Gojo Satoru is pouting, chubby cheeks puffed up with narrowed eyes and stained lips as he pokes at the supposed, promised ‘strawberry’ flavoured ice. “There’s no difference in this one either!”
“He only made them different colours. The melon one tastes the same too.” Geto Suguru is pulling away once he’s had a bite of all three, a hand dabbing away at the remnant sweetness on his lips.
“Was he too lazy to make more because it’s still cold? Mmm... Maybe we should've asked Kimiko-san to bring your shaved ice machine instead."
“No way! She would’ve said that I couldn’t eat it with any syruppppp!”
“That’s cause y’er meant to be on a sweets ban, Satoru. Didya manage to even get it lifted even a little bit?”
“Hmph!”
“So you didn’t.”
“Hmph!”
And there you were, sat upon the playground’s deck, hidden from the sunlight and protected by the shade as you poked at the supposed ‘blue hawaii’ flavoured shaved ice treat.
It doesn’t really taste ‘blue’ or very ‘hawaii’. Not that you know what either of those taste like. Though, you’re not quite bothered by the fact that it tastes oddly similar to Suguru’s green coloured ‘melon’ one as Satoru pokes your mouth with a spoonful of his own ‘strawberry’.
“Heyyyyyyyy! Pay attention to us! Ya can’t daze off when we’re discussing important stuff!”
You’re still bothered by it. Even as your mouth parts to allow the spoon to be shoved not so gently into your mouth, even as you chew in thought as a head lays upon your shoulder and Suguru wiping your mouth with a handkerchief already pretty stained in blue, green and red.
“I’ll love you no matter which one you end up being.”
Ah, your old enemy. Ambiguity. You find it quite troublesome to be you right now, your eyes closed in focused thought and a hand on your chin to sell the look. You can’t just suddenly be okay with any one of them just because Mama said she didn’t have a preference.
It’s not because you think one is superior to another, not because you dislike all of them. Or worse; prefer one over another.
You just need to at least pick one to work towards being.
"Which one would you guys wanna be?" It’s sudden, very out of topic from the Digimon debate your friends were having as they practically hung off of you, tossing your hair about or lying on your shoulder… But you think they understand regardless. They always did, no matter how strange or irrelevant the situation may be.
(You’re starting to think they’re mind readers.)
“…is this because of what Tachibana said?” Ah. You’ve been seen through in a blink of an eye. Were you that obvious? Or was it just because Suguru had always been the type to notice this type of thing?
“You shouldn’t care too much about what someone like him says, (name)-chan.”
Satoru pouts beside you, a hand lightly smacking your shoulder as retribution as you feel him grab your face, pinching lightly at your cheeks as you finally look at him.
“Why’re ya even thinkin’ about other kids?” He squeezes your face for good measure. “We’re here, aren’t we?”
You blink, feeling mushed and very much squished. “Sorry.” You should’ve known they wouldn’t have liked this type of thing either. Maybe you should’ve read the air better.
“There ya go apologizin’ and not telling us what you think again.” A cross of fingers and a sudden flick to your forehead as you recoil back slightly, the only support being Suguru’s hands pushing you back up as your hands go up to be rubbing your reddening cheeks instead. “Don’tcha get tired?”
It’s an honest question on his part, his snappy way of talking and his huffy mumbling about how you need to stop that annoying habit of yours.
But you’re trying, you really are.
“I’ll give ya ice later if it still hurts.” That’s how he is. Geto Suguru who was kind and soft and always tried to soften the blows Satoru lands upon you.
Though, your black haired friend still tuts at him. “You shouldn’t hit her, Satoru.” He stops to really think about it for a moment, slow realisation in his words. “Save ‘em for others who deserve it.”
Their conversation is lost on you once again, your eyes only the slightest bit teary when you open them, blinking up at the both of them before you’re practically smooshed once again by the way they’ve decided to close their faces in on you, their own cheeks pressed against each other from how closely squished all three of you were.
“You cryin’?”
“Did Satoru squeeze you too hard?” Suguru’s brows are scrunched in worry, knitted together in anxiousness as he elbows the white-haired counterpart.
“O-Oi! I didn’t use that much strength—!”
It’s nice to have people worry about you, you think. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside as you feel them tap lightly against your face, pressing the cups of the chilly shaved ice against your cheeks as you simply… Slump forward and let it happen.
Friends are nice to have.
——
You’re finally 7 when you’re using a leg to push open the creaky metal gate, dragging a rather large basket of food behind you and grunting with each step. Mama did pack an uncharacteristically huge amount of food for all of you upon your mention of the mini picnic at the playground.
(But to be fair, you think all three of you do eat quite a bit combined.)
You’re excited. Not just for the food, but for how fun it would be, especially in spring amongst the pretty flowers that just started to bloom. A slight breeze passes by you, flowers blooming and scattering onto the crown of your head as petals fluttered down from the bright pink of cherry blossom blooms.
It’s pretty. So pretty. They blot and cover the plainness of the grey concrete beneath you, creating a path of blushing rosiness with every step you took.
You noticed that even the sunlight was gentle as it spots down from in between those bunched up leaves, so careful as they shine onto the ground. It makes your trek all the more delightful as you hum the tune to the morning news channel.
Ito Saya was quite the pretty news anchor… Even if she only mostly did the weather reports.
Though, you’re hoping that you won’t be too late, considering the fact that you’re the one lugging the rather large basket of treats there. Ah, whatever.
You just hope you don’t miss anything important.
And your eyes don’t deceive you when you witness the chill of spring become tangible in the form of a cute peck to the sakura petal stuck upon the winter child’s cheek.
You watch how the petals fall, how you think you’re forgetting to breathe properly as it hitches in your throat. Were you even blinking anymore? Your feet seemed rooted to the dirt beneath to admire them all the more.
“Is that enough yet?” Geto Suguru is grimacing at his friend, blushing just as pink as the flowers that had flittered onto his hair, petals dancing as they descend onto the hastily smoothed out picnic blanket.
“Mmm…” He had his eyes closed, arms crossed across his chest as the smugness doesn’t cease to stop. “One more would do!”
“Aren’t you being too greedy now?!”
“You’re the one who hit me! So ya have to kiss my boo boos!”
Ah. The pretty moment is ruined, so you can’t help but giggle as you watch from afar. Your friends are the sweetest.
“(nameeeeeee)!” Your snowy-haired Satoru is immediately on his feet, his sandals long kicked off to the side as he waves an arm at you. “Suguru kicked my face!!!!!”
It comes out as a whine, a complaint. Even if he had made the poor boy make up to him and console his pain.
“I didn’t even kick that hard!”
“Ya you did! Gimme all your cake if you really wanna say sorry!”
Your friends are truly the sweetest, you think. When Suguru is the first one dragging Satoru over to help you with your basket, when you’re watching as the blue-eyed boy pouts about the sting on his face, and even when you’re giving Suguru his hug in greeting first, letting him smile into your shoulder as you hold him tight.
“(nameeeeee)! Gimme mine next!”
Your friends are truly sweet— Especially when you mimic the shy kiss Suguru had given to the apple-cheeked boy that had shied away the moment you smiled so brightly at him.
You couldn’t ask for more.
“I’d wanna be a beta with you, you know?” Suguru’s talking through a mouthful of sandwich, cheeks stuffed to the capacity as he tries to push even more in.
Manners are mostly forgotten when not in the vicinity of an adult. And even more so if it was to answer a question you had asked a week ago.
“But… I think Beta would be good, right? It’s in between and has the most balance.” Balance in the sense that— You haven’t heard anything negative about it yet.
“Maybe I should settle on that?”
“Ya both think too little!” There’s a shift, bare feet stepping against the plush softness of the rather well made blanket when Gojo Satoru stand up tall on his own two feet, the shine of his eyes behind fluttering white lashes making you stare a little too hard.
He’s so cute.
“I’m gonna be an Alpha and make both of you my servants!” He has a triumphant huff to his tone, an all too confident posture in his stance as he points a demanding finger at the both of you.
“He’s got some imagination.”
“Mama says it’s cute when we act like babies.”
“Hey! Are ya both listenin’ to me?!”
But their replies have you stopping to think for a bit. How would you know what you would end up as anyway? Is there a way to tell? Would astrology have anything to do with it?
Maybe you need to watch the news a bit more.
“Huh? (name)-chan. It’s smell, isn’t it? That's how you tell.” Suguru’s tilting his head to the side as he watches your eyes blink back into focus, waving a hand in front of your face in efforts to bring you back.
They’re really good at reading minds.
“No, ya dummy. Y’er talkin’ out loud.”
It’s better to believe in magic. The mystical is definitely more fun, and you definitely wanna be a fairy someday. It’s gonna be—
“Satoru.” Your nose twitches when he leans over you to reach for the cream puffs he had Kimiko-san prepare. “You smell like sunlight.”
Maybe different people had different smells.
“Is there anything?” You’re sat on your knees with your arms stretched out to the sides in front of them, barely audible but just enough so for the wind to whisper your voice into their ears, watching as Suguru’s bangs sway with the branches of that familiar tree you were all sat under.
"Can't really make out anything on you, actually." Suguru's face is pressed into your hair from behind, his nose taking decisive whiffs to help answer your question. "All I can smell is that shampoo you and your mama use... Satoru, any luck?"
“Mmm…” His nose is nudging against the side of your neck, taking a deep whiff of the skin before he pulls back. “S’ not that there’s anything actually—“ He dives in for another, his soft face against your own as you hold his shoulder to steady him.
You can feel how the strands of Suguru's hair was brushing against your nape, his palm now resting on your shoulder as his free hand brushes through your hair.
You see crystal blue peek up at you, before leaning back to hold his chin to scrutinize a bit more.
“Hmm… Water, maybe?” His eyes are closed in stark thought as white hair is caressed by another swirl of spring wind. “Can’t really get anything past that, though.”
Oh. You had no smell then. Nothing.
"It's okay. It's enough that you smell nice to us."
You hear him— Suguru say that pretty often, actually. Words that keep affirming you that it’s enough because it’s them, that you don’t need to go any further than that.
“Isn’t it enough that it’s for us?” He taps against the neatly wrapped plastic that held the cookies that Mama had helped you to bake in advance in attempts to make new friends within the classroom.
“Why’d you need it for the other kids?”
You want to have people who like you at the very least, even if you can’t make friends with them. That’s why.
“Hmm… Don’t you think Satoru would be mad?”
Maybe Geto Suguru was just that type of friend. Almost as clingy as your Satoru— Yet not quite letting you see what he truly was thinking. He’s always been quite polite; with you and the others around him.
Yet, you can’t help but feel like there’s something else behind his words, his actions— And his demeanour. You just can’t quite place an ascertain finger on it even when he smiles at you and blows a petal off of your hair.
So gentle. So pretty. He kind of reminds you of your Mama, if you think about it.
"Okay.”
And he looks content with your reply, his arms hugging around you briefly before they pulled away.
He’s really warm.
“Well? Ya have your answers now?” Satoru’s tilting his head at you before he drinks directly from the bottle of juice Suguru had brought, downing the apple juice and completely disregarding the cups Kimiko-san had so graciously prepared.
Maybe? Probably. You don’t really know for sure when you’re curling your fingers into a fist and back into a splayed hand.
It’s enough for now.
previous masterlist next
#jjk x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#satosugu x reader
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My girls perfect
Eddie munson x reader
Summary: you and Eddie are dating have been for a while. Your a cheerleader he's well... Eddie. So when thr jocks make a comment to try make you feel insecure to piss eddie off, Eddie doesn't let it slide easy.
During the school week you and Eddie sit together ever day but Friday. Whether it's just you two or with hellfire. However Friday was normally basketball day so you was needed being a cheerleader. Friday was also hellfire day which meant Eddie was obviously needed.
He would sit with hellfire. You'd sit with the jocks. It was like you didn't exist to eachother on Friday between 11 am to 8 pm. Neither of you minded ofcourse. You had your own things and lucky they fell on the same day. It had been that way for 2 years.
However something was different about this Friday. Eddie was sat at the hellfire table laughing and messing around. Well and annoying the jocks. But after his usual stand on thr table thing on Friday he always looms to you to se you smirk and give him a sarcastic eye roll. But you looked out of it. Like you didn't want to be there.
You starred at your tray didn't turn to look at Eddie. It's like you wasn't there. Eddie sat back down in his chair frowning and kept glancing over at you. Until you pushed your tray away from you got your bag and walked out of the cafeteria some of the boys saying "oh y/n Common."
Eddie glanced at his friend's who was also starring at the table you was once sat at as was other people in the canteen shocked by you leaving. "Be back." Eddie said standing up walking off. He walked to the table you was sat at and stood at the end of it.
"What do you want freak?" Andy said. Eddie rolled his eyes looking at Andy and Tommy sat next to Jason then to Jason.
"What the fuck did you say to her." Eddie said bluntly starring at the three boys blankly.
"Just said she should be more like Chrissy and carol and focus in her appearance more." Tommy said smirking leaning back in his chair folding his arms over his chest. Eddie nodded and walked back over to hellfire.
"Dude tour just gonna let him say that your way to calm." Gareth said looming at Eddie in disbelief.
"Doug can I borrow your milkshake ill buy you another on Monday or before hellfire." He ignored Gareth asking doug. He nodded and handed it to Eddie who bit thr inside of his mouth thanking him before walking off. He walked around thr table of jocks and cheerleaders as if he was going to walk out of the door.
As Eddie got to the head of the table he threw the milkshake so it went over the three boys not stopping walking. "Maybe you should worry about yours I suppose you've gotta have a big ego to make up for thr rumours about your small cock." Eddie said ruffling Tommy's hair as he walked past him wiping his milkshake covered hand on Jason's back.
"Fucking freak." Tommy said standing up. Eddie took that as he had to run. So he did. He ran down the halls with the three boys following him. He went left and as he went down the hall he saw you walking. He slowed down as he approached you.
"Hey baby." Eddie said as he stopped next to you. You smiled up at him. "Here lemme take those." HE said taking the two books you was holding and your bag. He put thr books inside and slung it over his shoulder holding you into his side. "Don't listen to em ok? There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with you. Babe some of them girls look like they haven't eaten for days cause they listen to them dicks. Your healthy. You got a beautiful face, amazing personality and a banging body." Eddie said holding you closer.
"Banging... Jesus Eddie." You laugh slightly.
"I'm serious want me to prove your perfect the way you are and there's nothing wrong with your weight or body?" Eddie askes stopping you both. You nod skeptically. Eddie wraps his arms around your waist picks you up and spins with you.
He puts you down after a moment and your both laughing. That's what he wanted to see. He wrapped his arms around you hugging you and you did the same. "See I can even touch my other arm don't listen to em." Eddie smirking kissing your cheek.
"I love you so much you fucking weirdo." You giggled kissing Eddie.
"I love you so much to you fucking freak." Eddie smirked back.
"Love how you went from saying how perfect I am to calling me a freak babe." You laughed pushing Eddie shoulder.
"Please we've been over this there is nothing wrong with being a lil freaky sweets." HE sid pulling you back into him.
Before you could answer you heard Tommy, and and jason at the end of the hall shouting Eddie name.
"What are they covered in?" You ask.
"Milkshake." Eddie smirks.
"What why?"
"CAUSE no one fucks with my girl and gets away with it... yeah we may need to run." Eddie says grabbing your hand and running down the hall with you.
Moments later you reach the van which luckily Eddie never locks he swings the passenger door open for you then runs around to the drivers side getting. You get in yourself and slam the door pushing the lock down Eddie doing the same the starting the van up and driving out of thr school faster then anyone should.
You look in thr mirror to see the three boys stood looking pissed. Then over to Eddie who's lighting a cigarette. "I'm not going to cheer tonight they'll be fine without me." You say leaning back in the chair.
"Yeah? Come watch hellfire could be fun babe." Eddie says exhaling the smoke. You nod smiling at him.
"Besides the boys think it's funny when your there cause apparently you make me go all stupid n they think it's funny when you tell me to stop being mean to them." Eddie smirks. You laugh and kiss his neck.
"I love you so much." You say kissing the spot again.
"I love you so much too... you know you could always leave a little mark there I mean I for sure wouldn't mind it. Just saying." Eddie said pretending to be serious. As he drives you leave him two hickeys inna heart shape and he smiles.
-
At hellfire that evening the boys notice it and every time Eddie runs a hand over his neck or through his hair the boys have plenty of comments.
"Woah who's the real master ed?"
"Maybe Eddie's curls arent real after all."
Then they notice you have one to you didn't know about.
"I do not have one!" You protest to the boys at the table.
"Yes you do I fucking put it there." Eddie chims in. You shake your head and Eddie kisses under your ear. "Relax there just jealous cause your more perfect then them so you get one." Eddie says kissing you sweetly. You smile and Eddie turns to go back to his campaign but doug then has a memory.
"You still owe me a milkshake!" HE points at Eddie and you laugh taking Eddie's hand in yours.
"What seeing Jason, Andy and Tommy look like they were covered in shit wasn't good enough for you?" Eddie says leaning back in his chair.
"Was for me made me feel better." You laugh
"Look Eddie you may have been getting your revenge for your fantastic girlfriend-"
"Which was totally a lie what they said by the way babe they inly said it cause you date the person they hate most and are hottest on the team." Eddie cuts off doug looking at you earning a smile a squeeze of Eddie's hand.
"Yeah big lie. But. I TAKE MY LUNCH VERH SERIOUSLY!" Doug shouts pointing at Eddie making the others laugh.
"Fuck off doug ill get it to ya Monday." Eddie says kissing you.
-
After the campaign your helping Eddie tidy up when he speaks. "If he ever makes you feel like shit again tell me. Either me or one of thr others will tone em down. N it would only be the others cause I'm running to your rescue." HE says stretching.
"Really bothered you huh babe?" You say walking over to him.
"Well yeah, I get them being mean to me bit they don't need to drag you into it nd try make you feel insecure. Your gorgeous and they just jealous." Eddie says putting his arms around you.
"Thank you." You says nuzzling into his neck.
"Don't thank me for looking after you against them dicks I'll do it everyday I love you."
"Mm yeh. I also meant for letting me wear your hellfire top when I got cold in the campaign n you sitting there with no top on under your jackets but ok." You giggle kissing him.
"Did I look hot." HE laughs.
"SO hot honestly babe would've jumped your bones right then if you wasn't in the middle of a campaign." You say kissing him.
"Guess I'll have to keep thr jackets on when we get back to the trailer." HE wiggles his eyebrows.
"Your so weird."
"You love me."
"Mmm I do.... let go of my ass."
"Never." HE laughs squeezing it before letting go.
"I knew that conversation was a bit to serious." You say picking up his notebook.
He nods kissing you sweetly.
No matter what anyone said you knew deep down there was nothing wrong with you and of it took you a moment to remember you'd always have Eddie to remind you. As he held you and kissed you you both pulled away resting your foreheads together.
"You still owe doug his milkshake."
"OH fuck off." Eddie laughs kissing you again.
#eddie munson x reader#eddie m#eddie munson thoughts#eddie munson x yn#eddie smut#eddie x reader#eddie x you#rockstar eddie munson#eddie my beloved#eddie stranger things
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Broken Pieces
・˚˖𓍢ִ໋⋆‧₊˚ ࣪⋆ Growing up, you know how it feels to have daddy issues. So when you notice the same glazed look of abandonment and acceptance in Toji’s son, Megumi, you decide to try to fix that broken piece of soul as much as you can.
・˚˖𓍢ִ໋⋆‧₊˚ ࣪⋆Authors Note: this is going to contains some themes that may be triggering to some so please be aware this is kinda sad(??) contains themes such as… daddy issues, hint at y/n sleeping around as a coping mechanism, age gap between toji and y/n
—
Growing up, you used to dream of what it would be like to have a dad who actually cared. Someone who’d tuck me in at night, tell me you’re doing okay, give me a hug just because.
Growing up with an absent father doesn’t just hurt, it full on warps you. It makes you question your worth before you even understand what worth is. It teaches you that love is something you have to earn, something you have to fight for, and even then, it’s never guaranteed. Wanna know the worst part? You don’t even know what you’re fighting for anymore, just that you want to be acknowledged, to be seen.
You grew up with the constant quiet sting of rejection, like you were never good enough to deserve the simplest things. Things like a smile, a hug, his attention. You became a woman who learned to fill that empty space with whatever distractions you could find. Constant nights with men who wouldn’t even remember you. Constant nights of wobbling down the streets with an empty look on your face, a wrinkled dress and sore ankles. And when those distractions didn’t work, you learned how to ignore the ache inside, how to pretend it didn’t matter. How to act like you wasn’t craving something more.
And then came Toji.
Toji Fushiguro… your boyfriend. Your bad decision making skills took over again, you suppose. You don’t think you ever truly knew what you were getting into when you got involved with him. He just looked like you. Empty and cold. “Maybe we could fix each other?” You thought when you first met. Toji wasn’t just emotionally unavailable, it was his entirety. His presence in your life felt like a storm, wild, unpredictable, and often destructive. He was a man who was always on the move, always cold, always keeping people at arm’s length, always pushing me away when you needed him most. Yet pulling you close when he needed you most.
But you didn’t know how to be with someone who wasn’t like that, couldn’t remember a time you were ever with a good guy. Your whole life had been defined by the absence of affection, so why would you expect Toji to give it to you? You didn’t even know how to ask for it. You didn’t know how to say, “Hey, I need you. I need to feel like I matter.” Toji was your reflection, someone who kept his heart buried so deep that you couldn’t even see it. His heart as black as his hair and scarred as the scars that glittered his body. And you mirrored him, closing yourself off until you were just as broken and distant as he was.
“I don’t need you to stay,” Toji said as he tossed your clothes at you your first night with him. His words as cold as his hands on your skin. “I just needed you. Don’t get attached.”
And you didn’t know how to respond, because you’d already heard it so many times before. His voice echoed in my mind, just like the absence of your father’s. Your own worth reduced to something disposable, to something he could discard once when he got his fill. You should have realized this relationship would go nowhere but perhaps it was the look in his eyes that made you stay for as long as you have. A look of hurt and avoidance.
After a few months of us dating, he let you meet his son. Megumi.
You saw him, and you saw yourself.. that same emptiness in his eyes, the same weight on his shoulders from a father who was never there. The same loneliness, the same quiet acceptance of it. But at his age when you’d already drowned in it, Megumi… he was still holding on. He was still looking for something. You don’t know when it hit me, but you realized, you don’t want him to go down the same path you did.
So, you decided to try to help him.
You were a woman with daddy issues, looking for validation in the wrong places. It was like you didn’t know how to not hurt yourself. It was like you thought the pain was the only thing that made you feel alive but you knew you had to try for Megumi.
“Would you like some help with your homework, Megumi?" You asked one day, as he sat at the kitchen table, scribbling over a sheet of paper. I could tell he was frustrated, his brows furrowed and his fist clenched as if the words on the page were just as unreachable as the affection he wanted.
Megumi looked up, eyes wary and defensive but also tired. "I don’t need your help." He said staring me down.
You sigh softly. “I know you don’t need it. But I’m offering,” You said softly, pulling out the chair next to him. "I'm not trying to do it for you. Just… want to make it easier."
He hesitated, but after a beat, he slid the paper towards me. "Fine.."
Your eyes widen slightly and you smile softly before explaining the problems step by step to him. It was simple stuff, but it wasn’t the homework that mattered. It was just being there, like a presence that didn’t leave when it was inconvenient, like something stable in the chaos that followed us. You could see him relax a little, his shoulders dropping as I guided him through it. Maybe it wasn’t a miracle, but it was something. Something better than silence, better than emptiness.
The truth was, you’d become so accustomed to people leaving me that you didn’t know how to make them stay. But Megumi? He needed someone to stay. He needed someone who wouldn’t just disappear when things got hard. So, you did your best to be that person for him.
And even with Toji, you found myself silently craving a fraction of the attention you could never get from him. He had a way of looking at me, like you were just another distraction in his life, a passing moment and sometimes he saw you, truly saw you.
"You look like you need something," Toji said one night, glancing at me from across the room, his tone flat as ever. He was always like this.. distant, detached.
"Hm? It’s nothing." you muttered back, a bitter laugh escaping you, "Just thinking.”
Toji didn’t reply, his eyes flicking away, uninterested. And you felt that hollow ache again, the familiar sting of being unseen.
But then, there was Megumi. He might not say much, but he looked at me sometimes with those soft, hesitant eyes, like he knew something about me. Like he knew that you understood what it meant to be left behind.
And you couldn’t leave him behind like you’d been left.
So you kept showing up. You kept offering help, even when it felt like you were drowning in your own loneliness. Because, in the end, you had to believe it meant something to give that care to someone else. To make sure Megumi didn’t feel the same weight you did. You just needed to try and fix it before it was far too late.
Because, in the end, we all deserve to be seen. Even if the people who should have seen us never did.
#daddy issues#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#megumi fushiguro#modern au#angst#jjk x yn#toji x reader#toji x y/n#mother figure#age g4p
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Im baaaaack 😈 he he he
....sorry. anyway I've decided to be mysterious. But I need your help. I've narrowed my decision down to 🌈 or 🐶 or ✨ but I can't choose. Which one should I go for?
Also who do you think Artricks gay awakenings were?
heyyyy welcome back lol 🥰
oooh i do love a good mystery! those are all cute but for some reason i'm really feeling the 🐶 for you! (which is good cuz i'm pretty sure i saw that you've already picked it 😊).
now, call me crazy for this one, but i don't think patrick was art's gay awakening.
and i need y'all to hear me out on this. i think he had his gay awakening the summer before he started his first year at the academy. he was just so young, he didn't realize what it was at the time.
it was probably with a close but temporary friend of his, maybe a boy a grade or two above him who decided art was worth his time for the summer months (and it definitely wasn't because he lived hours away from his school friends and was out of other options).
anyway, because art was smaller and younger and more innocent than him, he was very easy to mess with, which this particular friend took advantage of at every opportunity.
he would tease art nonstop, calling him names and pushing him around, and art would come crawling back for more every single day as soon as his 'best friend' rolled out of bed at one pm.
some days they'd go swimming, and this boy would hold art underwater until he came back up coughing and sputtering with tears in his eyes. other days they'd go out to a field close by, and art never saw it coming when he got pushed down the big hill, even though it happened every time without fail.
but no matter what they did, every day art followed him all the way back home, battered and bruised from the hours of torment, and he blushed as he asked shyly if they could have another sleepover.
sometimes the boy said yes. usually he said no, but art tried not to take it personally. after all, every time he asked if they were still best friends, the boy's answer was always the same:
"yeah, sure, man. hey, can you grab me another soda from downstairs? my legs hurt from swimming all day."
art had always been a bit of a lonely child, so when this person wandered into his life, he'd assumed their relationship was typical for two new best friends.
he followed this boy everywhere, watching him run and swim with pure reverence and devotion, and he never complained when the kicks started to hurt too bad, because he figured he was lucky to even be hanging out with him at all.
and the blushing and the stuttering and the giggling and the daydreaming were all perfectly normal things that perfectly normal people did when they finally found their best friend.
that was why when art went off to the academy and quickly became best friends with patrick, nothing seemed out of the ordinary about their relationship in the slightest.
well, except that patrick smiled more and hit him less and brought them both snacks when he came back from the dining hall, but those things were a good kind of strange. needless to say, art was happier with patrick as his best friend, and thoughts of patrick took up so much of his mind, he never even considered seeing that other boy ever again.
now, for patrick, i think his gay awakening happened a little later in life for him. and by that i mean when he was like 14-15.
also, yes, it was absolutely art.
i don't really think there was much to it for him. i genuinely just think art (being the late bloomer that he is) came back to school one year after a long, eventful summer with messy curls and toned muscles and a better ass than most of the girls in their grade.
and patrick took one look at art in his suddenly-too-small tennis shorts running over to hug him with the same ridiculously adorable grin, and thought,
". . . oh, fuck."
and that was that.
patrick for sure had a 'poof! you're gay,' moment.
then he just had to spend the next several years acting like it never happened and that everything was still exactly the same.
oh, the agony of being hopelessly in love with your oblivious best friend.
XOXO 💕🐶
#artrick#challengers#art donaldson#patrick zweig#art donaldson x patrick zweig#challengers fic#art x patrick#challengers 2024
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Sunsets and footballers (Part 50)
Lucy Bronze x Reader (45) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson Mini (7)
Masterlist (other parts here)
YFN was very aware of Jordan’s feelings after the bombshell admission the night before. She’d been extra quiet, deep in thought and she couldn’t blame her. She’d be doing the exact same.
Lucy was also extra-sensitive to Jordan, however that didn’t stop her from wolfing down the equivalent food for a small family.
YFN reached over and wiped some sauce off her chin with her thumb. “Slow down, Luce, the food’s not running away.”
Lucy was excited to eat, her stomach had been rumbling since that morning as they waited for Jordan to wake.
She nodded a response through a mouthful and knew she was right. It was never good to eat so quickly.
“Are you thinking a late night drive Sunday for your dinner, or will you stay in town?” YFN asked.
“I was just thinking that, actually. I’m thinking staying in London will be best.”
“My place is always free…” Lucy suggested.
“Oh, right. Thanks, Lucy. I just don’t want to be alone...”
“I agree,” YFN jumped in quickly. “So either I can stay or maybe a night with Katie and Caitlin will be a good idea?”
“Oh that’d be brilliant actually. I was also thinking of bringing Blu down.”
“Just let Carla know and drive down after training,” YFN suggested. “That’s stupid she’s making you drive all the way back for a few hours of practice.”
Jordan scoffed. “Yeah and she probably won’t even play me until late anyways.” Jordan shook her head and messaged the girls in the group chat. “Anything fun planned for Barca? You’d be racking up those air miles now!”
YFN laughed. “Oh yeah, I’m collecting those points. Um, I think the team will be celebrating after El Clasico…” she looked to Lucy who nodded, unsurprisingly mouth full. “And also it’s Ridley’s birthday so I was going to show my face there.”
“It’s Ridley’s birthday?!” Lucy asked, surprised.
“Sunday night, yeah.”
“Is she doing anything for it?”
“Oh, it’s Ridley. She’ll have Javier’s place absolutely packed to the brim with people. All the bells and whistles and celebrating.”
Lucy gave an impressed look and then a shrug. “We can stop by.”
“Just for a hello,” YFN reassured and kissed her on the cheek.
“I should warn Alexia…”
“To avoid Javier’s?”
“Or to go…her choice.”
“Isn’t she going to be at the El Clasico celebrations?”
“Probably but not for long, she’s still injured from the last game so won’t be playing. I doubt she’ll want to celebrate too long. What time is Ridley’s party?”
“Oh her parties are always 24 hours long minimum…” Lucy’s eyes widened and Jordan’s mouth dropped open. “It’s a thing,” she shrugged. She was used to it.
“Okay…well Barca celebrations won’t be until later that night. Alexia will be coming over to mine to get dressed.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah…I think she was hoping to talk to you a bit more about Ridley…”
“She is complicated…” YFN admitted.
“And you’re the only one who understands her.”
“Fair. Okay well I’m covering the Villa, Hammers game so I’m hoping to catch that 7:00pm flight but it’ll be close.”
“Need a lift?” Jordan asked.
“Yes, please. Mind driving me to the game also so I can leave Miles at Lucy’s?”
“Of course, mate!”
“So are you staying here or Katie and Caitlin’s tonight?”
“Um… I was thinking here tonight with you and theirs tomorrow…” she checked her phone. “Yeah, they’re happy for me to stay. I’ll leave Blu here and pick him up after the game.”
“How long since Leah’s seen Blu?”
Jordan paused. YFN knew Leah was close to him too. She wondered how long it had been since she’d seen him. “A while,” Jordan sighed. “I think I should cancel the dinner.”
“Not ready to talk?”
“I don’t think so. I just want a hug.”
YFN understood better than anyone.
Jordan sighed. “It’s stupid.”
“It’s not,” Lucy said before YFN could. “I’d fly across the world just to hug YFN.”
YFN softened and reached over to squeeze Lucy’s thigh, resting her hand here. She wouldn’t even attempt to hold her hand, they were too full of food.
“Really?”
Lucy nodded. “100%.”
“Would you like me to talk to her?” YFN asked. She didn’t mind being an intermediary if it meant they had time together to heal.
“Please…”
YFN messaged Leah and put her phone down to take a sip of her apple juice. Her phone buzzed. Jeez, she was quick.
Leah: That’s perfectly fine, we can still have dinner. I won’t talk, I know she’s not ready for that. Will she come over to mine for dinner?
YFN relayed the message and watched Jordan relax when she realised Leah was happy just to have her around.
“She’s not the best cook… she hates it.”
YFN: Jordan is confused as you’re quote “not the best cook.”
Leah: I hate it, but I want us to have our space away from people and I want to try for her. I’ve been learning.
YFN’s heart softened more as she told Jordan. Jordan hesitated, her lower lip trembling. “Can I bring Blu?”
YFN smiled, knowing her suggestion was taken on board. She asked Leah.
Leah: Yes, of course! I miss him. Tell her I’ll be ready anytime from 6pm onwards. The door will be unlocked. Thanks for this, YFN. I really appreciate it.
YFN: You’re welcome, Leah. You both just need the opportunity to heal and I want to help with that. I know you know this already but please step carefully. She’s fragile at the moment and doesn’t know what to think. All she knows is that she wants to be around you.
Leah: I’ll respect her space, I promise. The last thing I want to do is scare her away.
YFN replied with a heart and put her phone back on the table.
“She’ll be ready from 6pm onwards and the door’s going to be unlocked. She’s going to give you your space, Dory,” she gave her a reassuring look and felt Lucy squeeze her hand on her thigh supportively.
Jordan nodded and took a nervous sip of her coffee just as her alarm went off. “Time to go!”
She gave the pair hugs and a good luck for El Clasico, Lucy returning the well wishes. They watched her drive off, and YFN would have been more worried if she didn’t know she’d be seeing her that night.
YFN took Lucy into the new office and showed her around, the footballer being immediately swamped as they arrived. Most tried to be polite and give space, but they were all football fanatics after all. She showed her the conference rooms, main office space and her little desk. She had an office but the idea of using it still felt pretentious. She wanted to feel like she’d earnt it, which she hadn’t just yet. Lucy tried to convince her otherwise.
“You’ve done so much…and you are the boss.”
“I haven’t done enough, not yet.”
“Are you feeling guilty because you’re in Spain so much with me?”
She bit her lip. Lucy understood. That was one of her main reasons of feeling like she hadn’t earnt it. “I’ll move in there when we expand next…”
Lucy put a hand on her waist, still aware they were surrounded by most of the staff. “How about you make it a reward for covering your first round of International women’s games?”
YFN smiled, impressed. She hadn’t thought of that. She put her hand out and Lucy took it, shaking. “Agreed.”
Lucy wandered around talking to people and also spent time watching as YFN worked for a few hours. She loved watching her gather everyone and use them so efficiently and to the best of their abilities. She boosted the morale of her team and made sure they were all completely confident about their roles and what was required of them. Only when she was happy with the progress did they say their goodbyes. On the way out, YFN stopped her.
“Oh…Luce…could you sign the wall?”
Lucy tilted her head in question.
“It’s a new thing I want to start. I’ve had this wall painted our brand of purple and I was thinking it would be a cool idea if we had footballers sign it. I’m hoping to have the wall completely covered… I think it’ll be great motivation for the team to look at.”
Lucy nodded slowly, unable to stop her heart loving her even more. “It’s a great idea, little one.”
YFN smiled and handed her a yellow marker. “Anywhere you want… just leave room for other people.”
Lucy looked at the massive purple wall in front of her and laughed. “I think I can manage.”
“Oh and write your name next to it also, please.”
YFN watched as Lucy did a neat signature with her number 2 for England in it. She wrote her name under it and stepped back, grinning. She was the first, just as YFN had wanted her to be. Lucy loved being first.
Their drive to the airport was full of banter and flirting, both planning another facetime with YFN’s nan and brother, and another catch up with Lucy’s family during the next international break in two weeks’ time. It was all so… natural. The worst part was that they kept having to say goodbye to each other. It was the exact reason that her main goal to aim for was to have Lumos running seamlessly so she could move abroad to Spain to be with Lucy and zoom most of the meetings she needed to. She’d need to build up supervisors and the company first, of course, and she talked to Lucy about that. Lucy was honest about not knowing where she’d end up, and if she was going to stay at Barca. Regardless of where she went, though, YFN’s goal wouldn’t change. It would give her more freedom to work abroad and spend more time with Lucy.
They parked up at the airport and checked Lucy’s bag in. They were running on time; her flight wasn’t for another hour but she needed to get through security.
YFN looked up at Lucy, not able to stop the melancholy look on her face. Lucy stroked her fingers down her cheek, brushing over one of her dimples.
“My plane lands at 10:30pm your time,” YFN reminded her.
“I’ll be there.”
“Promise?”
Lucy nodded. “That’s dinner time in Barca, little one. Alexia and I will still be at mine getting ready.”
“Okay,” she whispered and reached up on her toes to plant the softest of kisses on Lucy’s lips as a thank you. She stepped back and saw Lucy’s eyes start to darken. She bit her lip which caught all of her girlfriend’s attention as she freed it with her thumb. Out of the blue, Lucy grabbed her arm and dragged her towards a single bathroom.
“Luce..?”
“I need you.”
YFN didn’t argue. She needed her just as bad. She let herself be tugged along, her body tingling with excitement.
“This is what you get for bringing up babies,” Lucy said as she locked the bathroom door behind them and guided her backwards, both heaving breathing as Lucy dropped her backpack.
“L…Luce?”
“Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ll be quick,” Lucy said as she pressed her against the wall, her mouth coming down hot and needily. YFN’s hands fisted Lucy’s hair, essentially ruining that perfect low bun of hers. At first Lucy used her hands to tilt YFN’s head where she wanted it for their mouths desperately crashing against one another; Lucy’s tongue finding YFN’s quickly and teasing it. Then, her hands moved down to her pants. Without their mouths breaking apart, Lucy slipped her thumbs under her pants and underwear hanging from her hips and shoved them down just far enough to slip her hand down and feel her. God, she was desperate just to feel her. She looked so sexy in her dress at the awards. All mad at Mark. All protective of her friends and working to help them resolve their issues. Lucy had to cling to all of the strength she had just to not drag her into the bathrooms at the awards and fuck her there. People may have heard but for the first time in her life, she didn’t care. She wanted everyone to know she was hers.
“Fuck, how are you so wet?” She moaned into her mouth as she felt the patch in her underwear against her knuckles and the wet warmth of her little Australian on her fingertips as she teased her clit.
YFN pulled away from Lucy’s mouth. “Maybe it has something to do with our shower this morning.. or the breakfast we had.. or watching you get fan-girled over by my staff in our office. Or maybe it’s because it’s just you, and I love you.” She slipped a hand down Lucy’s pants and found her also in a similar state. She gave a victorious grin.
Lucy didn’t like losing. She pushed two fingers into her little Australian and watched as her body jerked, her mouth opening and eyes shutting as she whimpered. She pulled YFN’s hand out of her pants. “Not me, just you.”
Her fingers began moving, YFN unable to stop her hips rocking into Lucy’s hand as she fingered her. Her fingers gripped tighter in her hair and she pulled Lucy’s head as close as she could get her, until it was buried in her neck. She brought her lips to Lucy’s ear and let her pleasure be heard there; if Lucy wasn’t going to touch her, then YFN was sure as hell going to make sure she heard her. She wanted her own body wet and needy for the plane ride home as a reminder of her.
“F…fuck.. argh fuck Luce you’re so good to me,” she whimpered in her ear. A shiver ran up Lucy’s spine, YFN able to feel it. The footballer used her spare hand to push her pants and underwear down further until they’d slipped to the floor so she was fully naked from the waist down. YFN stepped one foot out to widen Lucy’s access, Lucy going a step further and bending to grab behind her knee and hoist it up over her hip. The wet sound of her fingers pumping in and out of her became louder that way and YFN whined as she became even more worked up, her body needing Lucy the more she had of her.
“I bet you taste so good,” Lucy growled into her neck.
YFN couldn’t help but be turned on at the sight of Lucy’s bicep flexing as she fucked her fingers in and out of her, and she grabbed it, holding onto that large muscle like a lifeline. Her nipples were hard and rubbing up against Lucy’s chest, her breathing ragged as she came close.
“You just had to look fucking gorgeous last night in that dress, didn’t you?”
YFN only responded in moans and whimpers at the feel of Lucy’s fingers curling up into that sensitive spot inside her.
“I didn’t like people staring at you,” she growled again as she nipped her ear.
“I…didn’t like people staring at you, Luce…” she admitted in between whines.
“You want my babies, huh?” Lucy asked dominantly.
YFN shivered as she remembered their conversation that morning in the shower. “L…Luce.. too soon.. ah fuck yes… too soon to be talking a….bout babies.”
Lucy scoffed against her jaw. “We both know how this ends, little one. With you and me. So let’s just start our future now, yeah?” She bit her jaw.
It was YFN’s turn to shiver at those words. Lucy was right, they were both old enough and had been through enough heartbreak and relationships to know that this is how they would end. Together.
“Y…yes…!”
Lucy was unsure whether she was whimpering at the feeling or at what she said. “Yes what?”
“Yes I w..want to have your babies, Luce… argh fuck yes please don’t stop….argh…of course I do…”
Lucy groaned into her neck at that admission. “Come, little one, I want to feel you come around my fingers.”
She sped up and at those words it didn’t take long for YFN’s body to find its release, clenching up around Lucy’s fingers so tight that the footballer moaned at the feeling that she’d just fucked into her. Her breaths stopped as she came, her fingernails digging into Lucy’s skin as that bliss overwhelmed her into state of peace.
She slumped again Lucy with a heavy exhale, a little whimper escaping her lips as she removed her fingers and brought them to her mouth, sucking them clean.
“Yeah... you taste good,” she confirmed proudly.
YFN scoffed as she did what she always did; repay kindness with kindness. She kissed Lucy’s face wherever she could reach her, little butterfly kisses to show her love and gratitude for her little desperate orgasm. Lucy hummed happily, eyes closed and accepted, manoeuvring her face so she could reach more spots. Lucy broke her gesture by kissing her on the lips. YFN leaned into the kiss for a second until she pulled back, Lucy noticing a blushing creeping up her cheeks.
“Um… I’m kind of half-naked Luce and… it’s getting cold..”
Lucy chuckled. “The sexiest Winnie the Pooh I’ve ever seen.”
That made YFN blush harder but actually laugh at the similarity as Lucy squatted down to guide her foot back into her pants and underwear and pull them up.
YFN stopped her before they were up all of the way.
“Little one?”
“I need to pee..”
Lucy chucked. “You should always pee after sex. So go.”
YFN bit her lip.
“Oh come on, I’ve had my tongue inside of you before. Pee. Now.”
YFN shuffled over to pee and clean her excited self up while Lucy washed her hands in the sink and fixed her hair.
“Feel better?”
“Much,” she admitted and washed her hands before wrapping her arms around Lucy and sighing into her collarbone. She didn’t want her to go. She never did. “Are you sure I can’t make you feel good too?”
“No, little one, that will hold me over until tomorrow night.”
“Oh, planning on getting lucky tomorrow, are you?”
“After we win El Clasico? Of course.”
YFN slapped her back lightly. “Cocky.”
“You love me cocky,” she whispered and kissed her.
They said their goodbyes just before the security screening, the pair far too used to airport goodbyes. Luckily it wasn’t for long. She watched Lucy walk away, her black backpack hitched on her muscular shoulders, her thick clear framed glasses hidden beneath her cap and hoody. She tilted her head and couldn’t help staring at Lucy’s ass in those track pants she had on so she’d be comfy for the flight. As if she knew, Lucy turned as she walked, smiling when she realised her hunch was right and giving her a wink. YFN had to squeeze her fists tight to stop her from running and wrapping herself around her. One day. Fuck. How had they ever lasted longer?
#woso#womens football#woso community#woso fanfics#woso imagine#woso soccer#engwnt#jordan nobbs#lionesses#lucy bronze#woso x reader#lucy bronze imagine#lucy bronze x reader#leah williamson#aston villa women#arsenal women#barca femeni#barcelona femeni#fc barcelona#barca
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title: looking on tempests, never shaken (ao3) pairing: togame jo/sakura haruka summary: All his life, people he was supposed to rely on have abandoned him. He’s been left behind so many times that he started to learn how to leave before anybody else got the chance to do the same to him. But… But Togame is nothing like them. Am I…going to be abandoned again?
"I can't deal with you right now, Sakura."
Sakura was no stranger to conflict. For years he had faced countless confrontations, settling matters with his own fists. Just recently, he had been learning to resolve issues in his class with the minimal use of physical force. But no matter how many thugs he had beaten up, or how many discourse Nirei and Suo helped him mediate, nobody could have prepared him for this specific argument with his own boyfriend.
Sure, they've had small disagreements before, but Togame's always been the first one to give way. Ever since knowing Togame, Sakura discovered just how one's patience could be so magnanimous. He must have thought it would stretch out until the ends of eternity, but as Togame closes the apartment's door with the barest of thuds — he never slams things, not even when he's angry — Sakura thinks it's at the brink of breaking.
Still, the sharp snap of the latch itches at a long-buried memory, and Sakura's clenched fist loosens, his fingers trembling. Pride keeps him frozen in place, though, even when half of him is just about ready to run after Togame's retreating footsteps. Only when he couldn’t hear a trace of those wooden geta that Sakura releases the breath he didn’t realize he has been holding.
When it comes to them, there’s very little that gets on Togame’s nerves. He had adapted to Sakura’s habits and settled into Sakura’s life, as naturally as the gentle laps of the morning sea roll onto the shore. Whenever an issue comes up, Togame would let him say his piece, calmly explain his own perspective, and not let the night pass without the two of them meeting at a compromise. Whenever possible, it’s Togame who yields, assuring Sakura that it doesn’t matter that much to be argued upon.
But there’s one thing Togame feels very strongly about: Sakura undervaluing himself.
Yes, he’s confident in his own abilities, he has a clear goal he wants to achieve, but most times he still does not feel worthy of everything good that is surrounding him. Especially Togame. It’s something Sakura has been trying to unlearn for a while now, and in all his patience, Togame’s helping him with it, too.
But a recent gathering put him back in that tight spot, where it felt like he was drowning again, being pulled away from Togame. He should’ve learned his lesson by now, but the scars—both old and new—still lingered. Togame has been nothing but faithful, and he never gave Sakura any reason to be jealous of anybody. But there are periods of Togame’s life where Sakura hasn’t made a mark, yet other people had. Not that he’s trying to claim Togame all for his own, but when he sees those people (one, in fact) connecting with Togame in a way he himself can’t, sharing a laugh over a memory where Sakura had not existed yet, knowing each other’s thoughts without words, Sakura’s brain starts making him think of the worst.
Togame doesn’t need me at all.
Togame’s better off with him.
Maybe someone else deserves you better, Togame, not me.
That last bit he had said out loud just tonight, which resulted to this situation.
Togame’s been pissed before, but he had never said he couldn’t deal with Sakura anymore.
What should I do? What should I do? What should I—
His hands frantically fished out the phone in his pocket, thumbs swiftly opening his group chat with Nirei and Suo and typing out a call for help. If there’s anyone else who could know how to solve his problems, it should be his closest friends, right? They said I can always lean on them. Friends ask for advice, right? His thumb hovered over the send button.
But doubt crept in. It’s my fault. Why should I drag them into this? This wasn’t a town crisis. This was his relationship, his mess.
I can’t deal with you right now. The words echoed in his head, hauntingly clear, but this time, it wasn’t only Togame’s voice but a cacophony of people he’d rather not recall — people who never cared in the first place, who judged him without even knowing him, who spoke his name like it was a curse. They can all scram to hell.
This shouldn’t be new. All his life, people he was supposed to rely on have abandoned him. He’s been left behind so many times that he started to learn how to leave before anybody else got the chance to do the same to him. But…
But Togame is nothing like them.
Am I…going to be abandoned again?
Togame’s not just anybody. Sakura doesn’t want to lose him, and he does not want Togame to leave him behind. Even if Togame does deserve better, he wants to keep this man by his side and find a way to deserve him.
Not so long ago, Togame told him with a wry smile, You’re really selfish, you know that?
Damn right, he’s selfish.
So, what the hell is he giving up his man to others for? What is he still doing here? With a sudden bout of clarity, Sakura sprints outside and chases after Togame.
Sakura finally finds Togame at the park not far from the apartment, sitting hunched under one of the handful of streetlamps surrounding the area, an empty ramune bottle in his hand.
He hasn’t left yet. Relief floods Sakura, I can still fix this.
Togame raises his head then, seemingly sensing his presence, and their gazes meet in the cold evening air. With a deep breath, Sakura takes the first step to close the distance between them.
Not so long ago, he had said that even if facing someone whom he owes his life to, he will never bend his will. But at that time, he knew he was in the right. Should he still think the same when he’s the one who was in the wrong this time?
Just as Togame always does, he stands up from his spot — the clink of the dropped ramune bottle rolling away fills the silence in the air along with their footsteps — and meets Sakura halfway,
“Sakura—”
“Wait, let me talk first.”
Sakura avoids his gaze, keeping his eyes on the ground at the space between Togame’s feet. He’d been rehearsing the words in his mind since he left the apartment, he should be able to spit it out. It’s just that, he didn’t account for the edges of his eyes feeling hot. Out of habit, his hand reaches out and grabs the hem of Togame’s samue.
“I’m sorry. I’m stubborn…I’m hard-headed…And even when everybody tells me…even when you tell me that I’m more than enough, I can’t help but think that…that you will be better off without me.” Sakura feels his voice faltering at this point. He clutches the hem of Togame’s samue even tighter, as if anchoring himself. “I…I don’t know if I can promise that it won’t happen again… but I swear, I’m learning. With you, I’m learning. So, Togame,…can you not leave?”
He finally finds it in him to look up and meet Togame’s astonished green eyes, remaining to be a pool of depth and calmness for his troubled mind. For some reason, Sakura already knows how the night would end. Still, he needs to hear it from Togame’s own lips.
“Even if I say something stupid again, just punch some sense to me. But don’t leave me. Please.”
“Sakura, I’m not—”
Togame doesn’t finish the sentence, because he’s already gathering Sakura in his arms, knocking the wind out of Sakura’s lungs, holding tight as if the other boy would float away otherwise. Returning the hug comes automatically, and Sakura is just about to fall on his knees if it isn’t for Togame’s arms holding him up.
“I’m sorry, Sakura. I just needed to cool my head off, but I said the wrong words back there, haven’t I?”
Sakura shakes his head against Togame’s chest, not trusting himself to speak anymore. His throat felt choked up, he might actually let out a sob if he says even just one word. Togame keeps holding him, rubbing circles on his back. He must have known that Sakura’s at the brink of crying, too.
“No, I really was wrong. We’re supposed to deal with things together. I shouldn’t have left like that, Sakura. I guess I just…felt frustrated over my shortcomings. If I was also doing enough, you wouldn’t have had to feel that way. Hah...both of us, we still have lots to work on together, don’t we?”
Togame’s familiar scent and warmth calms Sakura down, and finally, the tension in his body subsides. Sakura allows himself to look up at Togame from this distance. He is greeted with Togame’s gentle eyes and warm smile, as if to say, You can fuck up so many times, I’ll always be here waiting.
“You know you’ve saved me since our first fight, yeah? And you’ve been saving me every day since.” Togame’s hand comes up to brush away strands of hair that got plastered on Sakura’s forehead. “If anything, I’m the one who should be asking if I’m deserving of someone like you, Sakura.”
“Don’t say that,” Sakura mutters, heat rising up from his neck to his cheeks. Leave it to Togame to say something so romantic that it turns Sakura’s just-anxious brain completely haywire.
“It’s true. So, there’s no way I’m leaving you, Sakura. I can promise that. Not even if you make me.”
“Really?”
“Mhm.”
“Next time you leave in a middle of an argument, I’m beating your ass.”
“Sounds fair enough.”
“And when I say something stupid again like what I said tonight, you can beat me up.”
Togame laughs softly, weaving their fingers together. With such a firm grip, no words are needed to assure Sakura that he will not be left behind. Not when it’s Togame. A smile grows on his own lips as he meets Togame’s gaze.
“Right, I’ll deal with you properly then, Sakura.”
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i would love some tunnel fic AND (/or) ⛏️💕⛏️
ok i'm holding off on posting more about tunnel fic until i actually write more words. but because you asked so nicely, you're getting some background of geology fic AND a snippet.
this fic came about because annie sent me some bts shot of lou where he's wearing a fishing vest and i was like this is geology professor core. and then i simply couldn't stop thinking about it. back in my wayward youth i was a geology major and i've always thought that a field study would make for a great character study template, so the fic is laid out like a report:
the OTHER major player in this fic is that concept a few people were kicking around several months ago when that interview dropped about buck and tommy learning more about each other as their relationship developed (LOL LMAO!) that maybe tommy had a past partner who had died. and annie and i were sitting there in the sandbox, and we were like: what if his partner who died was older than him. what if his partner who died had been in a position of authority over him. what if his partner who died had been not only his professor and academic mentor, but also his gay mentor. and now, what if buck, a young spritely 20-something, recently self-actualized, with the hots for his older professor, was pushing up against all of that history of tommy's. all set against the background of my second-favorite thing to think about: rocks!
anyway, here's a snippet:
The room is dark, but the door's unlocked. Buck takes a chance and pushes it open. It doesn't look like there's anyone else in there, but there is a weird lump in the front corner behind the desk, and he can't quite make out what it is until he flips the light switch on and the lump startles and jumps and–it's a guy.
Not just a guy, but the guy.
Even with the memory of the jacket he was sleeping on imprinted deep into his face, Buck can tell he’s good looking. He has eyes, after all. And speaking of eyes, this guy—and it has to be the same one whose papers Buck has been reading all week—well, his eyes are piercingly dark blue. He blinks rapidly, sits up, and stares Buck down with those eyes.
"Uh, hi," Buck says, as the guy shoves his jacket off the desk and slaps his own face a couple of times and gets to his feet. "Are you Dr. Kinard?"
"Shit," the guy says, his voice cracking a little with sleep. He clears his throat. "Was I supposed to have a TA this semester? Sorry–"
"Oh, no, no, I'm, uh. I'm just a student," Buck says with a chuckle. He doesn't mean to, but he bobs his head like he's shy. He's not shy! He's just clearly in the right place at the wrong time. Maybe he should let the guy snooze, come back in half an hour.
The guy–Dr. Kinard–frowns, and wow, the picture of him on the UC-Pasadena Geology Department website does not do him justice. He's really earned that spicy pepper, Buck thinks, and then mentally kicks himself for it. "Huh," Dr. Kinard says, then: "Christ. Did I sleep through class?"
"No! No, you're good, I'm just–I'm super early, first day on campus, all my classes were remote last year, and because I'm, you know, 'non-traditional', not fresh out of high school, I didn't go through the, uh, standard orientation."
Real smooth, he thinks. He's rambling. He needs to stop rambling. At least the hot professor standing in front of him is starting to grin instead of rolling his eyes.
"Anyway, I'm a Bio major but I picked this class because, well–"
"Easy credit?"
Buck stares in shock, but Dr. Kinard isn't even looking at him; instead he's shuffling back toward his desk, hand reaching for the stack of papers that he was just using as a pillow.
"What? No way," Buck says, and it comes out a little more forceful than he intends. "No, I read your dissertation. It was really interesting. The, uh, the section about the volcanism in the Quaternary era? Am I saying that right? At first I was just like, woah, this is cool, I didn't know about any of this but then I was looking at the timelines and realizing that the earliest humans were literally walking around getting all, you know, homo-erectus-y while that volcano was spewing! And now people walk around Yellowstone and we just have no idea!"
Dr. Kinard's hand hasn't moved since Buck started talking. He's just… still, leaning over his desk. "You. Hold on. You read my dissertation?"
"Yeah," Buck says. "It was good!"
#this could be my most interesting fic yet if only i would FINISH THE DAMN THING#field study of the stratigraphy of the pasadena geologist
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life update (tw assumed almost kidnapping, possible stalking, etc)
I should really be forcing myself to go on temporary hiatus but this is really my only safe space. i’ve been treated very roughly recently, and what happened yesterday just added. don’t worry about me leaving you all, i’m not taking a temporary hiatus
so i’m honestly just gonna start off with a message. Men, women, minors, anyone: please be vigilant of your surroundings. No matter where you are, densely populated places or scarcely populated places, day or night, be vigilant.
My car is currently in a different state, being lent to a family member (which has been going on for about a month), meaning i have to take public transport to and from college since i’m not doing dorms. Where the bus stops is just a short walk from my house, probably only 5 or 6 houses down, 5 to 10 minute walk.
Just for anyone who’ll have questions about why I wasn’t able to defend myself, Massachusetts colleges prohibits carrying firearms or concealed weapons, meaning i’m not able to take my pocket knife or any form of defense i have. The only exception is for law enforcement officers who are authorized to carry weapons. There is also no way in hell i’m leaving any sort of defense on public transport until I come back at the end of the day.
A few weeks back, I had seen an inferno orange-reddish toyota truck slowing down near me. driving it, was an older man. I didn’t think much of it at the time, chalking up to pure coincidence or misunderstanding. maybe i was someone he thought he knew? maybe he had to take a turn? i live in a scarcely populated area, only about 4,000 people live here. probably someone one of my parents knew.
Earlier yesterday, my final class ended around 2. I got off the public transport at 2:30-2:40 and started walking. I had one airpod in my ear, still semi-vigilant of my surroundings. everything was fine. Until i saw this truck again. Okay, it was slowing down, same as last time. Except the man was staring me down this time. And pulled over on the opposite side of the road. I stop, turn around to face the truck to let him know i was aware of what was happening. Shakily, i pull out my phone, pretending to take a video. The man sits in his car for a bit as i walk backward, still holding my phone out. I was too scared to even take a real video or a photo of the plates. He half-pulled out onto the road, looking like he was going to turn onto my side. Instead, he pulled away, most likely when he saw I had a phone. I had called my boyfriend when he had slowed down, just to have someone on the phone.
With all that being said, when the man drove away, I ran up the hill, back to my house. Out of fear, and not wanting to call anyone else, I call my stepfather, anything i was saying was barely audible. He told me to calm down, asked me if i was okay, and asked what happened. I told him what had happened, to which he had asked if I had the plates. I told him no. He said that was okay, talked to me a bit more, and told me to call the police. I called my local station, talked to someone, and I could tell they weren’t just brushing it off as a woman being crazy or attention seeking. They told me they understood I was afraid, but there wasn’t much they could do without the plates. I told them that was okay, and if i saw it again, i’d take photos.
I’ve been extremely shaken all night and this morning. My stepfather put in to get out of work early for the next however long to come pick me up from the stop, which I am so grateful for. But it got me thinking, what would’ve happened if the guy got ballsy enough to get out of his truck? what would’ve happened if he took me? And I have nothing to defend myself with except punches, kicks and bites, which of a 5’3, 98lbs college girl, there’s not much force behind those.
I always want to keep you guys updated in my life, because I feel transparency is important with people you care about. I apologize for how long winded this was, and if you made it this far, thank you.
tags to those know i know will care about something like this:
@fear-is-truth , @newwavesylviaplath
@taintandviolent @marchsfreakshow @cxndiedvi0lets
#sincerely faye ྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀིྀི#that’s what being a woman’s like i guess#i don’t even know what else to tag this.
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I used to think we should lower the voting age. Young people seemed more politically aware than they were given credit for. But I now realize I was in a bubble, surrounded by engaged, educated, left-leaning people. Y'know, like... people on tumblr.
In reality, most people don't feel the real impact of political policies until their mid-to-late 20s, unless they're already politically active and, frankly, radicalized.
So here's a hot-chili-pepper-ass-take: Maybe we should raise the voting age. Note - this is a point of conjecture, not an actual proposition.
Not because young people don't deserve a voice, but because we've failed so badly at political education that most voters, young and old, don't understand the stakes until it's too late. Maybe they never will.
Someone who was 16 when a party took power might not start paying real attention to politics until they're 25 or older. Say that party got two terms. By then, that 25 year old is hungry for change. But will they grasp that different doesn't always mean better? Sometimes, it means worse. Much worse. A fresh face may promise change, but it's always important to ask what they want to build, what they stand for, and especially, what they plan to dismantle.
Since I started voting, Canada has had three main parties: the Conservatives (right), the Liberals (centre-right), and the NDP (ostensibly centre-left). Over time, each of these parties has drifted further to the right, loudly or quietly.
There is now no serious left-leaning alternative.
The outcome of last night's election saw what I'd call a "progressive conservative" at the head of the Liberals, narrowly beat an increasingly regressive and socially conservative opposition. The NDP, meanwhile, alienated their base and lost official party status. The gap for the left is now even wider. The Conservatives were already eating the NDP's lunch with populist pandering to blue collar workers. Now there is no left-leaning party to actually represent those people.
The great lie of Western politics is that the right represents common people and common sense. In reality, it has long served the accumulation of wealth and power at the expense of workers. They sell the lie by convincing those same workers that tax cuts for the rich will trickle down, and that pouring money into police will somehow stop demonstrably non-existent crime waves.
And what is especially offensive to me is that the Liberals are not much better. They represent a dwindling "middle class." So, when we lefties hold our noses and vote for the lesser of two evils, we know we aren't getting what we need. But we have no leverage to prove that the Conservatives would be worse, because letting them win would actually be worse. They would do as they always do: find ways to extract wealth from us at the expense of our health and well-being. We have to prop up the status quo that these voters hate because they can't see that they are not actually represented by the party they support.
For them, and for me, there is no alternative. The NDP made several mistakes - not the least of which is simply drifting right. They abandoned sex workers. They sought market solutions to social problems. They cater to the dwindling middle class instead of the working class. They failed to take a stance on the conflict in the Middle East and punished those who did.
Key to the Conservative platform is tax breaks. This resonates strongly with that blue-collar base. But it preys on their confusion. There is a consistent resentment toward taxation that gets worse when you can't see where your money is going. If you're freelance, on contract, or a retiree you pay in one lump sum instead of little by little, and it can feel like theft. White-collar employees don't feel it the same way, as it comes off their paycheques regularly. Reduced taxes seem like putting money back into your pocket, but if there's any still going toward funding cops, military, and corporate subsidies, then how much is going into healthcare, transit, and affordable housing - the things you use?
For every necessary service like healthcare that gets privatized, out-of-pocket costs shoot up, and the taxes you are paying get spent on things you'll never use. Like F-31 jets.
Anyway. I wish political education was better. It's bad out here.
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body language is such a tell IMO that even with the countless insert headlines of “affectionate lovey dovey” and also random tumblr and LSA fonts waxing poetic tales…
Just look at the R1 NYC premiere footage arrival:
They get out of the same car and he comes out first and lets the other guy help her out,
Then she runs over to his publicist and he follows after. He walks up to her and stands there until she turns and looks at him and then puts her arm out to him so he reciprocates.
That little motion is very telling. All the claims of so comfortable and affectionate yet when in public he literally waits for her to either lean in or up for some type of affection and then he sort of returns it and it’s always a variation of chicken peck or arm around back barely touching or awkward side hug.
I guess some people think he’s worried about the optics or maybe he knows the comments he’s been called because of her and he’s self conscious but let me ask you, if you are self conscious in public due to optics then you should ask yourself why you are unable to just let it go and be happy? Something must be off because when you really care about someone you just don’t care what others think. You think about your and your person’s happiness first and everyone else comes after. That’s why you hear so many stories of people who defy family and judgment of public to be with their person and then just proudly flaunt it. Obviously they are married and they have let people know it, he is no longer hiding this. But yet he still has to hide affection to bare minimum and for what? But maybe it’s just projecting who knows.
To me, CE doesn’t feel comfortable being affectionate with his wife the way he would with anyone else or how he was with ex partners. Even if they were posed for the paps pics, he showed enthusiasm and levels of intimacy that showed there was attraction. Kissing, hip and waist holding and butt touching or soft looks at the other person. He is self conscious and therefore holds back and does the bare minimum because it looks less “weird” for the optics and less inappropriate but in the same vein he can be affectionate and even touchy with female friends and costars where people think maybe there’s something going on? RE: Elizabeth Olsen and the Ellen scare video, Haley atwell, to name a few. And obviously Jenny costar turned gf.
Perhaps those instances the optics looked better so he didn’t mind being open but like..once again, if you love this person and you want to shut down the comments of this is PR and this is fake then why would you continue to look like you don’t want people to think you’re into that person so you stand next to them without touching or when you touch it’s like one level above Mormon?
I just know that if I’m not physically into someone or something I’ll subconsciously try and let people know by keeping my hands to myself or keeping my distance. It’s not about being appropriate it’s about I don’t want people to think I’m into this person because I am not and I feel turned off by the idea.
Again, thats just me. But three years later it hasn’t appeared to get much better. So you have to wonder, is he just being polite and gentlemanly or is he literally afraid of showing affection or doesn’t want to because he is not into it?
Ahh. Body language. Those little weak kisses and hand holding isn't fooling me lol. The whole thing of him withholding affection because he's aware of the optics is absurd and will always be absurd. So you can marry her and be all over the place but can't even kiss her normally? Is that what we are saying? 🤣🤣🤣
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Give it to Me
Summary: In which Jonathan doesn't feel right taking the camera. Giving it back stirs something in Jonathan.
A/N: It could be a a one shot but if you guys wanted to leapfrog what you might think happens next in the reblogs, I wouldn't mind. Leapfrog: in which a person writes a little something off someone's story in a reblog for someone else to write a little something. I don't know if leapfrogging is a thing, but I would love it if it was. Would it be leapfrogging or leapreblogging?
Jonathan stared at the camera in Will's hand. He should feel happy that he was given a new one after Steve broke his other one. Steve had gone too far, hadn't he? He hadn't actually cared about Nancy or how she felt. All he wanted to do was to make Jonathan look and feel bad. He wanted to show everyone who was in charge. Jonathan shook his head. Maybe that's what he wanted to tell himself to make him feel better about what he did. It had been clear as day that Steve had been concerned about how Nancy would react, and he had gotten angry for her because she had been in shock. . .too stunned for words. It should have been Nancy to break his camera, and Nancy should have slapped him. No, Jonathan didn't deserve this camera. Not only did he betray Nancy in such an utterly fowl way, but he also betrayed his skills as a photographer.
"Jonathan?" Will asked.
"I need to go back in," Jonathan said and took the camera from Will. "Take this back. Come on."
"I can stay in the car for a few minutes, Jonathan," Will sighed.
"Will, please," Jonathan said softly.
"Fine," Will rolled his eyes.
He got out of the car with Jonathan and followed him back into the house. Jonathan could see Ted and Karen in the kitchen with Holly. Ted was holding her, and Karen was trying to get something out of her mouth. Holly was cackling. Apparently, she had eaten something she wasn't supposed to again. Will watched from the hallway, amused by the scene. While his brother was distracted, Jonathan slipped into the living room. Nancy was cuddled up next to Steve. Jonathan pushed away the jealous pang in his chest and stood in front of them.
"Oh, hey, Jonathan, did you forget something?" Nancy asked.
"Here," Jonathan said and handed her the camera.
"That's a gift," Nancy said in surprise.
"It's something I don't deserve," Jonathan said. "What I did. . .it was messed up, and I crossed a huge line. What's even worse is that I made up so many excuses and placed the blame on other people. . .but the truth is that I had plenty of time to stop and not do what I did. All I could see was you guys having fun when my brother was lost. . .It made me a little angry at first. . .then I realized that I was just jealous. . . I never had any friends or did anything like that. I suppose it was my fault because I pushed people away, and I used my camera to do it. I shouldn't have done it, and I want to earn it back. All of it," Jonathan said. "I'm apologizing to both of you, because you both deserve it."
Jonathan caught their eyes. Both of their looked at him softly and full of meaning. Nancy's eyes were a wide, beautiful blue that threw him off so much sometimes that he had to look anywhere else. He never noticed how beautiful Steve’s were until now. He always assumed that they were just brown but no. . .they were actually mostly a dark forest green with brown surrounding the iris. It reminded Jonathan strongly of the woods. Steve was looking at a curious realization as if he had just had a thought, and he wasn't sure why he did. Jonathan realized then that he wasn't that much different than Steve, and he wondered if Steve was thinking the same thing he was.
They both had fucked up. Steve, with his actions, or lack thereof, and words at the Hawk. He knew then why Steve had said those things. He had acted out of jealousy, out of hurt. . . Much like Jonathan did in the woods with Nancy. . . Jonathan had fucked up by taking those pictures, and he waited outside of Steve’s house for Nancy to come to her senses but there had been a part of him that wanted to follow her up the stairs. . . To watch or maybe, they'd let him be a part of whatever it was they were doing. When Nancy had told him that it wasn't okay what he had done, he wanted to continue to not take accountability for the photos because then it would mean something else. Instead, he yelled at Nancy and accused her of being like all the other girls Steve had dated. He had spent so long behind the camera that he had forgotten that people weren't just photographs. There's more to them than he had ever thought.
"I forgive you, Jonathan," Nancy said and pushed the camera back towards him. "You more than made up for it."
"I just - I haven't forgiven myself yet," Jonathan said and placed it on her lap.
Steve stood up, smiling at him. He held out his hand at Jonathan. He wanted to shake his hand. Jonathan stared at his hand longer than he should have. Steve cleared his throat, and Jonathan tentatively took his hand.
"Thank you, you saved my life. . .in more ways than one. I don't think I ever would have realized that there were more important things if it hadn't been for you and Nancy," Steve said. "And I forgive you, too."
"You give us too much credit," Jonathan blushed. "You made the choice to walk away from those assholes."
"It's not a big deal," Steve shrugged.
"Okay, now you're just fishing for a compliment," Jonathan said and Nancy laughed.
"Well," Steve said. "You know, you're welcome to hang out with us any time. . .could definitely use a friend like you."
Jonathan realized they were still shaking hands. . .well, they were holding hands. Steve had started rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb, and he made his eyes bigger, pleading with Jonathan.
"Why? So, I can sit around and watch you two makeout?" Jonathan asked.
"Well, if you're into that," Steve smirked. "You might want to ask Nancy if she'd be up for that."
"I am," Nancy smiled.
"Are you sure you don't want to take the camera?" Steve asked.
"Give it to me when I'm ready," Jonathan said.
"Give it to you when you're ready?" Steve asked, laughing.
"Yeah, what did I say that was so funny?" He asked as Nancy giggled. "Yes, give it to me when I'm ready."
"You're not hearing it, are you?" Steve laughed again.
"What's so funny about you giving it to me?" Jonathan asked.
Nancy bent over, laughing. Steve’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he gazed affectionately at him. He released Jonathan's hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek, much to Jonathan's surprise.
"Well, it looked fun when Nancy did it," Steve said. "And it was."
"I still don't get it," Jonathan muttered.
Suddenly, they heard a loud sound from the kitchen, Holly cackling, and Will bursting into laughter.
"HOLLY! THIS FIGURINE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU EAT!" Mike screamed. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO PAINT THIS?!"
"You should be more worried that your sister almost choked on it!" Ted yelled.
"Michael!" Karen scolded.
"If she wasn't so cute, I'd - !" Mike start to yell.
"Do nothing!" They heard Holly taunt.
"I think that's my que to leave," Jonathan said. "Will!"
Will came back into the living room, laughing.
"Mike had freaked out because he couldn't find his d&d figurine, and it turns out Holly was hiding it in her mouth," Will said.
"Wasn't gonna eat it, Mommy!" They heard Holly yell. "Just hide it!"
"Why?!" Mike asked.
"You are a meaniehead!" Holly said.
"Yeah, time to go," Jonathan said. "Good luck with that."
"Thanks," Nancy said laughing.
"Bye Steve, bye Nancy!" Will exclaimed.
Jonathan walked out of the living room towards the front door. Smiling, he could still feel Steve’s lips against his skin, as though it had left an imprint there. . .burning its way deep inside of him. He touched his cheek as though he was trying to touch Steve’s lips with his fingertips. Yeah, he and Steve weren't so different. They both strived to do better, not just for Nancy, but for each other as well. They both knew what it was like to be alone and to feel lonely all at the same time. In some ways, Steve kept people at arms length in the same way that Jonathan had done, except instead of a camera, it had been Tommy and Carol. Fuck. Goddamnit. Not only was he hopelessly in love with Nancy, but now it seemed like falling for Steve Harrington, too. Shit, maybe that had always been the case. . .maybe that's why he had been so deadset on admiting that Nancy actually wanted to sleep with Steve because he didn't want to be honest with himself about wanting to sleep with him too.
"Jonathan?" Will asked.
"Oh my god!" Jonathan exclaimed. "I just got it! Steve! Seriously?!"
He heard Steve and Nancy laughing loudly as he finally left the Wheelers. Assholes. He laughed all the way to his car.
#stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#jonathan byers#nancy wheeler x jonathan byers#jancy#steve harrington x jonathan byers#stonathan#nancy wheeler x steve harrington x jonathan byers#stoncy#bisexual steve harrington#bisexual jonathan byers#pansexual nancy wheeler#stoncy fanfiction#stranger things s1 au#rueleigh's thoughts#rueleigh writes
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