#so maybe those same people who are always asking me...you should hold off until i answer the ones that are wasting away in my box and draft

[dayseternal-blog]

Hi Days! Hope you're doing well. I asked this to bornonthebreakofdawn too, but which NH fic writers do you really like and what do you like about their fics? (I'm not asking for fic recs, I just mean, like what do you appreciate about their writing styles, like characterization, plot, humor, angst, etc.). Thanks and I hope this finds you well!

Hello :)

Thank you for being sensitive to my request when you sent this! I didn't answer right away because to me, recommending fics or recommending authors is the same thing. If I'm recommending a fic, I'm basically trying to get people to check everything out that the writer has written. I'm not thinking about the fic so much as I am thinking about the writer behind the fic. I am a fan of fandom more than I am of the characters at this point... I am a fan of storytelling and using fandom for expression and connection, and NaruHina is our common choice of medium, if that makes sense. That's why it's important to me that I'm recommending authors, not just fics. Anyway, with all that said, I think I'm ready to try to get back into this.

I've answered an ask like this before, but I do want to answer this again!! Here we go.

Nevermind, I'm going to cry.

No, I'll be fine.

Characterization

My favorite Hinata characterizations are -

Szajnie AO3 Here. Szajnie's Hinata stands out because it feels the closest to canon to me. Szajnie's Hinata is strong, vulnerable, and determined. Inner strength is not easy to write. I think a lot of people write strong!Hinata as someone who always wins. Someone who is "badass" and can fight or can be sexy and that's all fine! That's fine. I think Szajnie goes a step further, creating a depth of character that I don't often see.

@peppercornpress AO3 Here. Peppercorn's Hinata stands out to me because it feels the closest to the epitome of Japanese femininity. Within canon, the Hyuuga demonstrate the most classy Japanese culture. Their house, the way they dress, the way they speak to each other. Hinata is that girl. She is the old-fashioned Japanese It Girl, all while never being egocentric. She has hobbies like flower-pressing, knitting, and cooking. Fandom calls her a princess not just because she's the Byakugan Princess but because I think even us cultural outsiders can tell that Hinata has been raised to be different from the rabble. Peppercorn is able to capture that Japanese elegance in Hinata that is missing in most fanfics.

My favorite Naruto characterizations are -

Katarinahime AO3 Here. I've said it before and I'll say it again. No one writes a sexier Naruto than Katarinahime. Try. Just try. Look around. Read as many fics as I have and try to build a case against my opinion. Katarina's Naruto is strong. He's funny. He's flawed. He matures. It's all written words, so how exactly does she manage to make him sound like a dream guy? Katarina's Naruto has a character development I wish I could write.

Peppercornpress. Peppercorn's Naruto also feels the closest to canon to me. He's just the silliest. Headstrong and kind of weird, like no one actually knows what's going on in his rationale, and that unpredictability, that spontaneity is not easy to write in terms of being truly, convincingly character-driven. Peppercorn's Naruto has a temperament I don't even know how to approach? And I have tried, re: In Between Drinks NH. Notice that I didn't give Naruto hardly any original lines in my version of the fic because I was afraid I would stray off of Pep's characterization.

My favorite character studies -

@bunny-hoodlum / Missachua AO3 Here. It's no secret to anyone who's been following my blog and stories for awhile that I am bunny's self-proclaimed Biggest Fan. You think you're a bigger fan than me? We will fight to the death. Bunny writes such complex, deeply-flawed characters. That takes bravery. I can list very few writers who have their characters just literally screw themselves over CONVINCINGLY. Anyone can write angst. But to write angst so that it makes complete sense for the characters to make the mistakes they did? That takes skill. I have never felt like Bunny forces a situation to happen. She takes the necessary time to create the background, the world that has formed her Naruto and Hinata. Bunny draws out aspects of their characters and amplifies them under a magnifying glass. Yes, they are still Kishimoto's characters. But now they are also Bunny's. Her approach to characterization is liberating.

Story Structure

Katarinahime. If anyone actually reads everything I write, well, you knew this already. At this point, I've said this so many times. I have based my story structuring off of Katarina's writing. Her deep approach to Limited 3rd Person Point of View makes a huge difference in reader immersion and setting up some serious angst. The unreliability of one character's pov keeps the reader in suspense because you never know the whole story. Second, her use of present tense instead of the traditional past tense in storytelling makes the story feel much more immediate, much more urgent and present, perfect for angst. Third, her scene transitions are the smoothest I have ever seen. Katarina makes everyone else using line breaks to change scenes (me) look inept. It is so hard. My first long-fic "It's No Secret" uses none of Katarina's techniques, but after reading her "Serenity Prayer," my fic "Nightdreams" uses all of these techniques. You can compare "It's No Secret" and "Nightdreams" and notice quite easily my technical growth.

BunnyHoodlum. Bunny uses flashbacks strategically. Not just to explain what happened in the past, but to draw parallels and symbolism to the present and to fortify character development. I used flashbacks in my fic "White Lilies" to strengthen Naruto's and Hinata's relationship, and honestly, without Bunny's technique, "White Lilies" would not be nearly as effective of a fic since the first half is basically them avoiding each other lol.

@sessakag AO3 Here. Sentence breaks. Fragments. Using sentence structure to create emphasis and rhythm. To speed a scene up or to slow a scene down. Sessakag has fantastic use of sentence structuring to create urgency when she wants, which is a technique I picked up from her while studying her fics. A non-native English speaker commented on one of my fics that this strategy of having shorter lines also makes it much easier for them to read and engage in the fic.

Language / Voice

Sessakag. I've mentioned this before, too, but I learned how to write by focusing on smut, and one of those writers who basically taught me how to write is Sessakag. Sessakag has an emphasis on descriptive, physical sensation that takes smut from basic "insert body part into other body part" into a Whole Body, Whole Mind, Immersive Experience. The smut is not about the doing. It's about the feeling. Phew. Hot stuff. Her technique of using physical description in response to emotions can be applied to all parts of the story, making an angst scene especially charged or a fluff scene especially heartwarming. Her language immerses the reader's body into the story. You'll see me using Sessakag's voice in practically any smut I've written since "Nightdreams," and in emotionally-charged scenes in "White Lilies" and "Friend of Mine."

BunnyHoodlum. Did I mention I'm Bunny's biggest fan? She uses imagery to create a sense of awe that the characters have for each other. It's difficult for me to explain...I think her imagery is sometimes metaphorical and sometimes it's just this sense of once-in-a-lifetime. You'll see me trying to channel Bunny's descriptive voice most obviously in my fic "That was the plan."

@utsus AO3 Here. Utsu is the GOAL. Folks, I am striving for utsu's level. Utsu's use of language is so high tier, I privately dubbed her the Queen of Capturing the Moment. Every description has a magnetic pull. The reader feels just as observant as Hinata, as though we were all given the Byakugan and can see beyond appearances. When I first starting writing fanfiction, I have to admit that out of all the writers I admired, I couldn't study utsus as an example because her voice is way too natural to try to imitate. Grab some tea, bundle up in a blanket, and sink into the vibrancy of utsu's world.

Worlds / Plots

There are so many writers who have written amazing fics, and I can think of many that had me reading nonstop. But there are just certain writers who wrote THE FIC for me. A fic that I would reread again and again or wrote the fic that would inspire me to write my own. Including the writers I already talked about above, the following writers gave me this sense of this is why I love fandom, this is why I love fanfiction.

@magmawrites AO3 Here. Magmawrites's stories are so imaginative and daring. Have you read a NaruHina zombie au before? Or a NaruHina dystopian scientific experiments on children au before? And they're...still romance? What always gets me about Magmawrites's stories is just the simple fact that I could never write fics like that. Never. Nope. And Magmawrites did not just write one or two original, interesting fics, but that nearly every fic has some crazy plotline of drama, action, or suspense. Like, how did Magmawrites manage to think up all of that? Oh, you know the real kicker? They're all ✨complete✨.

@chloelapomme AO3 Here. Chloe has the closest energy I have seen to magmawrites in terms of writing a ton of imaginative, unique AUs. Let's never forget her Bourne AU and Akatsuki!Naruto AU. But Chloe's energy is a bit more 😳🙈 hehe there is no one else out there who writes as wide a variety of tropes as Chloe. Sunshine family fluff to Soulmate au to Age difference and Threesomes??? I'm just wondering if there's any trope that Chloe wouldn't write.

@badluckbrebis / Imanga AO3 Here. Imanga consistently allows her fics to have a personal shine. What I love about fanfiction is the platform to tell stories that only you can tell and no one else. Imanga writes fics that are culturally personal or contain niche background knowledge from her own life. Things that she has seen or personally experienced, and that real-life stamp makes her fics so much more special to me. I would totally love it if more writers set NaruHina in their home country/city or just with a different heritage, which Chloelapomme also does! Let NaruHina be multicultural!!!!!!!!

@mmmbuttery / emmykay AO3 Here. Emmykay's NaruHina fics are....NarutoDays's origin story lol. I was absolutely blown away by emmykay's fics, like "Lady Usagi" and "Tsutsudori," and especially "Torch Song." You mean NaruHina can look and sound exactly like...my family, like me? "Torch Song" changed the game, turned fanfiction on its head, made me realize that I am my most important audience, that fanfiction can be made for me, and that such a story is worth telling and sharing even if I think no one else will read it, understand it, or care about it. Fanfiction can be minority representation, fanfiction can be historical yet written entirely for entertainment, fanfiction can be educational yet imagined, fanfiction can be all these things and anything else I want it to be, I just have to write it.

agitosgirl FFN Here. Another fic writer who inspired me to write my own fics is agitosgirl. Newer writers recently have been very daring like her, but back in 2017, agitosgirl was one of the few I saw writing just several very taboo tropes and with zero self-consciousness. She wrote fics and started new fics like changing clothes, following wherever the inspiration took her, and what I got out from her style is a strong sense of fun, as if she was never taking anything too seriously. Fanfiction is fun. And it's absolutely best when the writer is having fun. Agitosgirl's world is simply very fun.

BunnyHoodlum also inspired me to write my own fics because of her commitment to making Naruto and Hinata distinctly and convincingly Japanese, literally set in Japan, which back then, no one seemed to be doing...well. I'm serious. Read fics from just 5-10+ years ago, and it's BunnyHoodlum, Peppercorn, and Emmykay holding down the fort of "culturally Japanese NaruHina" without sounding...uh...weird... This was important to me because my heritage is Japanese.

Katarina, Szajnie, and Sessakag seem to approach fanfiction at times with a goal beyond entertainment, perhaps a stance on educating readers, or at least for the reader to come out of the fic with a new understanding of people's differences. That's how it is for me. When I read their fics, I feel like I matured or learned something new.

There are several other writers who I love!!!! SEVERAL. I could seriously go on and on about every single writer in this fandom that I have read and tell you exactly what I love about their writing. Send me another ask, and maybe I'll make a part II 🌺. It's just that these folks listed here were either formative to my own "voice" or have qualities in their writing that I particularly admire and prioritize.

[storiesforallfandoms]

one of the guys ~ jimmy smith jr;8 mile

word count: 3481

request?: no

description: she’s always been viewed as just “one of the guys” despite having feelings for one of her friends, and now it’s looking likely that she’s going to lose him to the wannabe model

pairing: jimmy smith jr. x female!reader

warnings: swearing, pining

masterlist (one, two, three)

I had known Jimmy and Future since we were a bunch of snot nosed kids causing trouble on the playground in elementary school. Cheddar Bob was next, having followed us around like a lost puppy until we finally adopted him. Iz and Sol joined our little group in high school, and then we were complete.

For as long as I had known the guys, they considered me to be...well, one of the guys. Even after I went through puberty and actually started looking like a girl, I was still just one of the guys. It didn’t bother me for the most part. When you’re a kid, it doesn’t really matter if you’re a boy or a girl. We all played the same, caused trouble the same. But when we hit puberty, I found myself not liking being considered “one of the guys” anymore.

Especially when I realized I had feelings for Jimmy.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved being a part of the friend group and I couldn’t ask for a better set of friends. What I definitely could ask for, though, was for those friends to recognize I was a woman and treat me as such. Namely, I wished Jimmy would realize that.

One Friday evening, just like every Friday evening, I had just pulled into my driveway and was walking up to my front door when I heard another car pulling up behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know it was Future.

“Get your ass changed, we’re going out!” he called.

“Future, I just got home,” I said.

“So?”

“So maybe I don’t want to go out with you chuckle fucks after I just worked an eight hour shift.”

“We both know that’s not the truth.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t stop the smile on my face. He was right, I did want to go out. We went out every Friday night. It was a group tradition at this point. If I was seriously turning it down, there’d have to be something wrong with me.

“Give me 10 minutes,” I told Future before slipping into my house to change.

I was in and out in less time than I told him. I just changed out of my work clothes and into jeans and a t-shirt, and was ready to go again. I got into the passenger seat of Future’s car and he didn’t even wait for me to buckle myself in before he was backing out of my driveway and driving off to get the others.

“I fear for my life every time I get in the car with you,” I joked as I managed to buckle my seatbelt.

“Well, lucky for you, Jimmy agreed to drive tonight. His car can hold more people anyways.”

“Who else is going with us?”

“Just the usual.”

I looked over at Future in confusion. His tone definitely made me think there was someone else coming along for the night, but it seemed he wasn’t going to tell me. I couldn’t figure out who could possibly be joining us that Future wouldn’t want to tell me about beforehand.

We pulled into the trailer park and parked next to Jimmy’s car. Jimmy was exiting his trailer before we were even out of the car, as usual. Jimmy was usually waiting for us to show up and would be itching to leave his mom’s place as soon as he could. Jimmy gave Future one of their high five hugs, and patted me on the shoulder. It was just a step up from me also getting a high five hug, but not by much.

We got into Jimmy’s car, all three of us in the front. We started for Iz and Sol first, then Cheddar Bob. Once the car was full it was nothing but noise as each of the guys was talking over one another with Jimmy’s radio blaring as extra noise.

“How was work, by the way?” Jimmy asked me over the current argument between Future and Sol.

“Same bullshit as always,” I responded.

“I guess we should be lucky you even agreed to come out with us after working all day, meanwhile all we do is sit on our asses like a bunch of bums.”

I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Hey, you work, too.”

“I wouldn’t consider the Stamping work.”

I chuckled. I noticed then that we weren’t headed for the club. “Where are we going?”

“To pick up Alex.”

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. I looked over at Future. I couldn’t tell if he was actually deep in conversation with Iz or if he was just ignoring me. So this was who was joining us that he didn’t want to tell me about.

Alex.

She was a girl Jimmy had met at his work. She was a model apparently, or was trying to be one. Jimmy didn’t talk about her much, but the other guys didn’t waste a single moment in teasing him about her. It didn’t take a genius to realize he liked her.

Alex was waiting as Jimmy pulled up. She was wearing her usual mini skirt so short that you could basically see everything whenever she moved. It made me feel very self conscious about my choice in jeans.

Future opened the door and got out.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I asked. I already knew the answer and hoped he’d see the look of begging on my face.

“I’ll get in the back with the idiots,” he said. “I’d assume Alex will be more comfortable pressed up against you instead of Sol.”

“Yo, fuck you!” Sol snapped.

I hoped my clenched jaw would go unnoticed as Alex slid into the seat next to me. Her eyes immediately went to Jimmy and they shared a smile that made me wish I could throw myself from the moving car.

We got to the club and piled into our usual table while Future got the first round of shots. Cheddar Bob and Iz were sat on one end, I was in the middle, Jimmy and Alex were sat next to me, and Sol had pulled up a chair. When Future returned, he slid in next to Cheddar Bob. The table chorused with cheers as we held up our shots then shot them back.

I tried to play it cool, but having to sit next to Alex and Jimmy while they were flirting up a storm was making me more tense by the minute. When Sol offered to get the next round of drinks, I jumped to give him the money to buy me two of the strongest drinks he could for me. I downed the first one quickly, but took my time with the second. It didn’t take long for the shot and the first drink to kick in. My head was spinning and I felt care free and light as air.

At some point, when the drinks had hit me hard enough, I shoved against Iz’s shoulder and said (or rather slurred), “Hey, can you guys move? I gotta pee.”

“Yo, go the other way,” Future said. “There’s three of us here and only two on your other side.”

“You’re gonna break the dam this early in the night?” Sol asked. “You may as well sit on the end when you come out. You’ll be back and forth for the next few hours.”

“Look, I don’t care who moves and I don’t care where I sit when I come back, I just have to pee now.”

“Here, we’ll move,” Jimmy said.

He and Alex moved out of the booth and allowed me to get out. When I stood, I realized just how drunk I already was as I almost immediately lost my balance. I felt someone grab hold of me as the rest of the table chorused in laughter at my drunkenness. When I looked up, it was Jimmy that had taken hold of me. I smiled at him and he smiled back.

“I’m getting you water when you come back,” he said. “And you gotta pace yourself.”

“You’re always looking out for me,” I said. “You’re such a good friend.”

I put emphasis on the friend for my own benefit, but there was also some level of petty in the word. A reminder for both of us that that was the only way he saw me: as a friend. One of the guys that he went out drinking with every weekend, that he smoked with in the basement of someone’s house, that he ran around Detroit with causing mayhem since we were tykes.

I saw a look flash across his face that I couldn’t quite decipher, but I assumed I was just seeing things in my drunken haze.

I managed to make it to the bathroom on my own without incident. Once I was safely inside of a stall, I was able to sit down again. I almost didn’t want to get up and go back out to the table. Sitting was safe. The world didn’t spin when I was sat down. But I also couldn’t be sat on the toilet in a club bathroom all night either. I knew Sol was right about me going back and forth to the bathroom now that I had broken the dam, but if I put enough time between this bathroom visit and the next, maybe the spinning wouldn’t be as bad by then.

When I stepped out of the stall to wash my hands, I jumped to see that someone was waiting there.

Alex.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

I waved away her apology. “It’s fine. I just didn’t hear anyone else come in.”

I stepped around her to wash my hands. She turned to face me as I did. “Listen, I need to talk to you about something.”

I looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. “Okay?”

“Is there anything going on between you and Jimmy?”

The question took me by surprise. Why would she think there was anything between us? In all the time that Jimmy had known Alex, I had only met her once before after the lot of us had run into her at a house party. I remembered Jimmy only having eyes for her that night, too. There was no reason I could even fathom that she would believe Jimmy and I had a thing going on when he was so clearly into her.

“No,” I said. “He’s my best friend. Has been since we were kids.”

“And that’s it? Just friendship?”

“Yeah. What’s this about?”

She sighed. “I really like Jimmy, and I thought he liked me, too. But he’s never really asked me out or anything yet. I didn’t know if maybe you two had a thing going on and I read the whole situation wrong. I’ve known far too many guys who claim to be just friends with a girl and turns out they’re actually fucking around.”

Trust me, I wish that’s what was going on here.

Against my better judgement, I put my hands on Alex’s shoulders and said, “If you really like Jimmy and you want things to be more serious, maybe you should make the first move.”

She looked as though she had never even considered that option. “You think so? That won’t seem too...direct?”

“Who gives a shit? Why do men always have to be the ones to make the first move? Most of them are fucking idiots anyways and wouldn’t know if a girl liked them even if she was telling him to his face.” Alex chuckled. “If you want him, go get him.”

She nodded. I was taken by surprise when she suddenly pulled me into a hug. I reluctantly patted her on the back and tried to put the best smile I could muster on my face.

“You’re the best,” she said. “I think we’re going to be great friends.”

I bit my tongue as she hurried out the bathroom door.

That interaction was enough to sober me up more than I wanted. I could feel myself tearing up, but tried to fight it back. I turned to lean against the sink and looked up at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t help but notice everything that Alex had that I didn’t: gorgeous face, sexy voice, body of a model. I couldn’t even dream of leaving the house in a skirt as short as hers without feeling completely embarrassed and exposed. Of course Jimmy would like her, and of course he was going to say yes when she asked him to go out with her.

I hung my head as the tears slipped from my eyes and ran down my face into the sink. I prayed no one would come into the bathroom and find me here crying, and luckily someone was looking out for me because no one did. Once I felt like I had cried myself dry, I quickly splashed my face with cold water and tried to pretend everything was alright. I figured everyone was going to question where I had been for so long, but I didn’t feel like coming up with a fake answer to tell them. If I told them to fuck off, they wouldn’t pry.

My steps faltered a little when I exited the bathroom and saw that Alex and Jimmy were missing from the table. I was tempted to go right to the bar and get another drink, but I pushed through and went back to my group of friends.

“Hey, you good?” Future asked as I sat down in the booth.

“Yeah, just sobered up a little,” I responded. “Where did Jimmy and Alex go?”

“Alex asked to talk to him in private,” Cheddar Bob responded. “But that was a while ago, so who knows where they are now.”

I noticed both Future and Iz elbow him, causing him to spill some of his drink on himself. I didn’t care to imagine where Jimmy had taken Alex after she asked him out. I didn’t need to have that image burned in my mind for the rest of the night.

Everyone went back to their conversations, but I found myself not paying any attention to them. I kept glancing around the club, expecting to see Jimmy and Alex tucked away in a private corner, sucking face as if they were trying to blend into one person. Or maybe they’d be on the dance floor, practically dry humping in front of everyone. I didn’t think Jimmy was one to dance, but Alex had enough allure that she could’ve probably convinced him. But I didn’t see them, and that almost made it all worse.

Eventually I stood from the table suddenly, bringing everyone’s attention to me. “I need some air.”

“Do you want one of us to come with you?” Cheddar Bob asked.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. I turned and quickly made for the exit.

Once I was outside, I breathed in the cool night air. It filled my lungs, but it didn’t seem to help soothe me at all.

“You alright?”

“Jesus!” I hissed as I turned towards the voice. It was Jimmy, leaning up against the club. “What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Free country,” he said with a shrug. “Are you good?”

“Just needed air. It felt very stuffy inside.”

I walked over to stand next to him. The rough brick wall dug into my back through my t-shirt. It was cool out, but not enough to make me feel like I needed a jacket or anything. I was standing so close to Jimmy that I could feel the heat coming from his body anyways.

“Where’s Alex?” I asked. “The guys said you two went off to talk in private.”

“She left,” he responded.

I looked at him in shock. “What? And went where?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Home, I guess?”

“Don’t you think you should’ve driven her? It’s not exactly the safest for her to be walking alone at night.”

“I offered, but she turned it down. Said she didn’t wanna see me ever again.”

I’ve definitely missed a lot of things here. “What happened?”

Jimmy sighed. “Well, she got up and went to the bathroom after you, said something about wanting to make sure you were okay where you were so drunk. Then when she came back she asked me if we could talk in private. She brought me outside and told me how she had been waiting for me to ask her out properly since we first met and she was tired of waiting, so she made the first move to ask me if I wanted to go on an official date with her.”

“And you said...”

He looked at me for a second before responding, “No. Obviously.”

Well, yeah, it was obvious that he said no. But what wasn’t obvious was why he had said no.

“I thought you were into her,” I said.

He laughed. “Who told you that?”

I shrugged. “The guys seemed convinced you were.”

“The guys don’t know shit about shit. They just like talking a big game and making fun of each other.” I just looked at him, waiting to see if there was any more he had to say. He looked at me then away again. “No, I’m not into her. She’s beautiful, yes, but I don’t see her that way.”

“Wait, so if you don’t see her like that, then why did you invite her tonight?”

“I didn’t. She was at the Stamping today and asked if she could come along. I guess this was her plan.”

Well, it wasn’t her plan until I told her to go after Jimmy, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

I felt like everything had just been flipped upside down. I was so sure that Jimmy had been reciprocating Alex’s feelings. It seemed like that anyways. Or maybe it seemed like that because I was making it seem that way. I was projecting something onto the two of them that wasn’t really there, I guess because of my jealousy?

“Sucks that she didn’t handle the rejection well,” I said.

“It wasn’t the rejection, it was the reason I rejected her.”

My brows furrowed together. “The reason being...you didn’t like her like that?”

“No. Well...yes. Kind of.”

“You know, for a man who can freestyle, you’re god awful with your words right now.”

He laughed and lightly nudged me with his shoulder. “It was the reason I said I don’t have feelings for her. I told her that I don’t like her because I like someone else and she didn’t handle that very well.”

I could feel my stomach turning to knots again. “Oh? Didn’t like the competition?”

“No, she said something along the lines of she should’ve trusted her gut, and that all guys who hang out with girls end up fucking them in the end.”

It took a second for what he said to register in my brain. When it did, I thought back to Alex talking to me in the bathroom and asking me if there was anything going on between Jimmy and I because she knew of too many guys who were friends with girls who they were actually fucking. Then, I put the pieces together in my head.

When I turned to look at Jimmy again, he was already watching me, waiting for me to come to the conclusion. “Me?!”

“Jesus, that took you long enough.”

“What do you mean that took me long enough?! Why the fuck haven’t you told me?!”

“Because you’re my best friend! We’ve known each other since kindergarten. If I told you I liked you and you didn’t like me back, that would fuck everything up between us and within the friend group. I would rather feel this way in silence than risk losing you as a friend.”

“If you had told me I would’ve told your dumbass that I like you, too, and I have since high school.”

“Wait...for real?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for real!”

We both stood in silence. We shared a look, and then a smile broke out on Jimmy’s face. I couldn’t help but mirror it, and soon we were both laughing. With the absurdity of the situation, we couldn’t not laugh.

“We’re both dumbasses,” I said between fits of laughter.

“I guess so,” Jimmy agreed. “That brings up the question, though, of where do we go from here?”

“Well, I think we try a date, just the two of us and not those other idiots in there, and we see how things progress from there.”

He smiled. “Okay, I like that idea.”

“And we promise that if things don’t work out, we stay friends.”

“And we don’t tell the guys about any of this.”

I laughed. “Okay deal.”

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

AWFULLY out of character but comforting Nikto maybe, idk i just want the man to be somewhat happy

Shhh shhh shh don't even apologize pookie bear. I rolled my eyes back at this. I mean what.

Nikto who gets overwhelmed during public events that he didn't even want to go to. Already pissy because his teammates forced him there and even more so because people keep looking at him. Making the man both self conscious and exhausted that he had to keep up with random strangers.

Nikto who gets home and the first thing he does is try to rip off the overly fancy suit that he was forced to wear. Finding irritability the second that it catches on something and he's forced to wear it a second longee than he needs to. Fabric ripping at the seams until you grab his hands. Stopping him from clawing at his own wrists and face in his haze.

Some blood already dripping down the side of his cheek the moment he removed the mask a while ago. The metal slicing his skin from haste, something that he didn't care about through all his madness yet acknowledgd. Oh but it was visible, bright red against pale skin.

Those ice blue eyes staring widely at you as you grabbed his face. The blacks of his blue eyes unnaturally small. Almost immediately outwardly calming down at the feeling of your cold hands against his warm cheeks. Its like trying to calm down a scared animal. It was something familiar to him. The cold. No more suffocating air inside a cramped room.

Having to ground him back to earth as you hold his hands, already covered in his own blood. Skin itchy from how others stare at him yet under your gaze. He was just him. Because he knew you knew him. He knew you.

"Apologies i- we were...oh", something in him finally coming back to you in the brief moment of peace. Realizing how he tore through a still soft scar on his cheek, making himself even more mangled. Something in him that should feel shame for it yet nothing but exhaustion and acceptance reeks from his form.

"Let me take care of you hm?", you whisper softly, trying to coax him back to reality as he feels your hand wipe away the blood. Soft fingertips against open flesh. The texture of skin making him wince from the pain as he reaches up to cup your hand. Stalling your touch on him and an instinct to pause pain all at the same.

"It doesn't hurt", he lies through his teeth, even as much as it wrongs him to lie to you. Finding it useless to care for a wound so small and yet. It would most likely leave another scar on his skin. Was he just making himself worse for you? Always looking and acting like a fucked up animal. He didn't want to and yet he was.

"Let me take care of it, Nikto", a simple call of his 'name' and he's sat. Letting you disinfect the wound through the awfully sterile alcohol. Barely even flinching as the disinfectant stings his cheek and wrists. Sure they weren't bleeding but small scratches could still cause infection.

"Raise your hands", a simple order. One he would heed to easily. Raising his arms for you to wrap with some gauze while he complains that it isn't even necessary, he doesn't even wear long sleeves shirts outside of deployment.

"Tilt your head for me?", and he follows. Because why wouldn't he when you ask so softly? Taking care of him like he deserved it. Trying to ignore the way blood rushes to his cheek and pours out even more.

"Darling, I can see you blushing, do you like getting pampered?", he would never admit it if it was anyone other than you. A visibly red hue on his usually pale skin.

"Da", and he doesn't care. Or at least that's what he says. His blush only deepening when you pinch his chin in your hands tilting his head to the side while he mentally tries so hard to avoid your gaze. Pupils drifting off to the side like a sad dog. Grimacing until you tell him to stop because you can't get the bandage on.

"Tired hm? Wanna talk about it?", you offer up once he's gained that blur in his eyes. No longer a prey trying to avoid being hunted. Just a bunny in its natural habitat. His pupils back to their natural size and more as he stares back up at you.

A unintelligible grunt exits through his throat, barely even moving. Finding himself slouched a few minutes ago in his panic. Hands absentmindedly trailing your sides as he sits you down on his lap on his insistence. And he's calm at least. Falling asleep once you take off the tight fitting jacket. Slumbering softly on the sofa and just pulling you closer with every hour. Lying down to make sure you didn't wake up with back problems.

[whalesforhands]

what’s yours is mine (5/?)

previous masterlist next

pairing: geto suguru x reader x gojo satoru

You don’t know a lot of things, and you readily admit that. What you do know, is that the friends you’ve made aren’t something you will ever regret. Until your physical body weakens and becomes nothing, you’re more than happy to give your all until you wither away.

What’s yours can be theirs, too. They’re your friends, after-all. (Omegaverse AU)

Oh. That’s bad. That’s really, really bad. You don’t need even Mama to tell you that, don’t need her to say anything more when all your nose can pick up on was the overwhelming stench of sour milk and rotting fruit.

Yet, you ask anyway. Just to confirm. Just to see, to test the waters. You know lying is bad, but you’re not exactly averse to actually doing it.

Maybe you just aren’t that good of a kid.

“Does that mean that it’s bad?”

She snaps out of it, eyes losing their glossed over fear and realization dawning on her face as she immediately slaps a hand over her mouth, a look of evident shock and restrained worry making you stare on.

You haven’t seen her so… Panicked. Not that you remember any moments that she had been, anyway.

(Do you not watch her enough?)

“Sorry… I’m sorry…” Her hand shifts up, trailing her face until she was holding her forehead and releasing the breath that she was holding, voice trembling on a note so deep-seated in terror that you just can’t ignore it. You see her shoulders slumping and her eyes darting towards the new carpet on the floor, to the creaky old table as her body shook with just that tiniest uncertainty all along— Before her pretty, shifty eyes finally landed on you.

You can hear a sigh of relief.

“I-It’s not bad at all. No. Not at all. It’s just what some people say.” It was like she was assuring the both of you with staggered sentences that struggled to complete themselves.

Like she was jumbling, voicing words together just as they form in her head. Like she was just saying whatever was racing through her head as you catch the glimmer of sweat on her skin.

You’re pretty sure it wasn’t that hot in here… You helped her adjust the heater just now.

“You shouldn’t listen to them. Never,” She has to steady her shaking words, steady her stumbling, clumsy way of speech as the tension in the space finally lifts when she scrunches her eyes close, able to breathe easy again as she whispers those words to you. “Never listen to anyone who speaks that way.”

You blink.

“Not even you, Mama?” A tilt of your head as you’ve long gotten off of your chair, Pokemon printed socks padding towards her until your fingers lightly tapping her lap as a way to signal that you wanted to get on.

You think she really needs a hug. It always helped when you were on the verge of tears yourself.

“No…” She finally lifts her head, her hands reaching down and patting your hair as your eyes follow the trembling pen she still clutched so desperately. “Not even me, darling.”

You can see her twitch, watch as that same pen she had been clasping onto all this time finally fall out of her hands and tumble onto the recently bought, recently cleaned— And much softer carpet.

You were waiting for that to happen.

So you chase after it, crouching down to be able to pick it up, before running back into her arms under her watchful gaze and crawling onto her lap the next.

“Thank you.” A kiss to your hair and a pat of your head as you wrap your arms around her waist, face falling into contentment at the feel of being able to bury your face into your Mama’s softness. You can feel the way her sweatshirt feels warm and fluffy against your cheek, a fuzziness in your chest making you yearn for more pats and to hear her soft voice lull you into a sweeter comfort.

Though, your curiosity never sates.

“So is it not nice to be an omega?” You’re not exactly careful, not exactly getting the memo that it wasn’t something you should pry too much on even after that reaction. “Mama, do you hate being one?”

You’re just a kid, after all.

“It’s fine to be one,” A stroke of your head as her tone finally returns to that soft, gentle coo that you liked hearing so much. Albeit just that tiniest bit shaky. “Omegas are rare. You won’t see many around.”

“So…” Your eyes blink up at her, a small bit of an excited smile playing on your face when you realise your Mama was— Is special. “You’re like finding a Gold Machinedramon in a pack of Digimon cards?”

Now she is the one blinking at you, eyebrows furrowing momentarily with brief, apparent confusion as her hand stopped stroking your hair.

“Yes… Exactly like that, sweetie.”

You knew it. Satoru showed off his to you recently, your eyes glimmering at the way he had held that precious card up to the shining sun as Suguru could only sigh in the background.

“But being an Omega isn’t all that good.” You can feel her lean a cheek against your head, tenderly hugging her arms around you tighter as she speaks. “And some people might… Only love someone else just because they are an Omega.” She clears her throat.

“Or an Alpha.”

“Mn…?” What does that even mean? How can you love someone simply based on just that? But to be fair, you’ve seen cartoon characters get married because they kissed a frog.

“You shouldn’t befriend people like that— Or let them love you, okay?”

Huh? You don’t exactly get it, but it does sound like she’s right.

You feel her chest vibrate with a chuckle. “You’ll know a lot more when you’re older.” You can feel her pinch your cheek as you pout. “You should be worrying about what you want to eat for dinner later.”

When you’re an adult, huh? You don’t really like being told that, not even by your pretty Mama. Yet her last sentence still tugs a little too hard on your thoughts, pulling you into a state of worry and reassurance.

Because Mama doesn’t need to be anything more than your Mama for you to love her.

“I’ll love you even if you’re not an Omega, Mama.” It’s real, and your promise to her as you take another breath in at her scent, still wafting with the remnant aftermath of soured milk, yet slowly calming into waves of the sweet honey you love.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Her fingers comb through your hair as you hum contentedly. Afternoons after school might become your second favourite part of the day after walking to school with Suguru in the morning.

“So which one should I be, Mama?” It’s your final, whispered question. You don’t know if she heard it, don’t know if it was even audible from how muffled you were as your face is pressed directly into her chest.

Her mindless, aimless petting of your head stops as you feel her lean back to be staring down at you. It’s hard to discern, hard to tell what emotion was in her eyes. Yet, it was evident, despite how small it was, or how insignificant it would be to another person.

Her eyes were definitely wet.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ll love you no matter which one you end up being.”

(“Oh, and I want cheese hamburg for dinner today!”

A soft giggle.

“Alright.”)

You’re still stuck on it, though. Even as your eyes are narrowed at the ground and Suguru’s scarf is wrapped tight around your neck... All whilst you’re poking at the concrete walkway with a stick you picked up from the ground, as cold as it might be.

Ambiguity. Maybe you should make that your new enemy. Your sworn foe who you can vow to defeat in the final battle. It fits all the marks needed to be one too, right? A cool name, hard to spell… And the fact that you don’t quite like it for terrorizing you right now with the unfamiliar and the uncertain.

Even the cold spring air isn’t enough to make you forget. This season was ambiguous too, you think. The moments right after winter when the trees are still bare and there just wasn’t enough flowers blooming to call it spring just yet.

You can’t even call it winter either. There’s no snow, the air isn’t as cold, your breath can’t be seen— You don’t like ambiguity. Not one bit. So you hope that either Satoru or Suguru are already waiting at the—

“Gah, goddamn midget fuckin’ sized playgrou—“

That’s not a child. Or even anyone you recognize as a matter of fact. A stranger. A stranger had made his way into the playground that Satoru claimed nobody else was allowed into.

(Though to be fair, you did also trespass.)

He’s big. That’s probably the second thing you notice about him when your smaller feet are trotting up towards him. Maybe he’s too big for both your and the playground’s liking, that’s why his butt won’t fit comfortably on the seat.

You will speak for the things that don’t have the will to speak for themselves! That’s… What the magical girl said on that anime yesterday. You think.

“…it’s cause you’re too big, mister.” Mama would scold you for approaching a stranger like this. But you’re more intrigued by the fact someone had actually defied everything Satoru had told you about this sacred space, had dared to bully your beloved play area!

(With the power invested in you, you will…! Probably try to get him to stop kicking the slide with his dirty shoe.)

He broke all the rules. You’re sure most adults can read, right? Did he not see the big sign and really, really long letter of notice that you can’t quite read well yet?

Maybe he has trouble reading too. It is pretty hard.

You hope that’s not insulting to say, though. You’ll apologize later… But first you wanna know why this stranger’s all bruised and patched up with seemingly hundreds of bandaids as he grunts and scowls at inanimate playground infrastructure before locking his eyes onto you.

His hair is really dark.

“The hell? The fuck you doing in ‘ere—“

“You say a lot of bad words too.” You’re blinking up at him with a blank look as you continue, curiosity whirling through your head. Is this an adult too? “Your Mama would be sad if she heard you say that.”

Your eyes catch a glimpse of the small little tag on the leather bag so casually hanging off of his too big arm. You can’t exactly catch his name, but you recognize that it definitely… Probably was from this area? You’re not really sure. Nor have you walked anywhere past the playground, the market with your Mama… Or school.

But you do know that he looks pretty old. Mama did mention once that there’s a lot more older kids here than ones your age. He’s definitely one of those.

So… He’s an older kid that looks like an adult? How ambiguous, now that you think about it. An ambiguous ‘adult that’s not really an adult’ who looked like he doesn’t know how to react to you as his eyebrows furrow and his nose twitches, eyes glaring down at you before it suddenly clicks in his head at the way you had so fearlessly stepped inside.

“Tell ya what,” He doesn’t lean down, doesn’t squat to be at your height as he crosses the bruised skin of his slightly roughed up arms. He’s quite scary, if you think about it. “I won’t tell that Gojo kid you let me trespass if ya don’t tell anybody ‘bout me. Especially if you see some piss ugly punks who look like they got beaten up real bad ‘round here.”

You blink. Did you just get… Scammed? Is this really your fault? Were you at fault for not chasing him out? But to be fair he has a point. You don’t exactly know what Satoru would do if he did find out this very big man stepped more than ‘one of his dirty toes!’ into his playground.

And honestly? You don’t think neither you nor Suguru would be able to talk your stubborn friend out of demanding capital punishment for this stranger. You would definitely need more than the 13 cookies you watched him gobble up only a couple days ago.

Take the deal. It’s for the greater good, you think. Whatever that means. Heroes say it all the time, no?

“Okay.”

(You’re a hero now.)

And that’s how you ended up sitting on the swing seat next to him. Don’t get yourself wrong, he’s definitely scary, definitely looks like he could throw you around with one pinky finger.

And kind of reminds you of those delinquent characters you saw in the movie at Suguru’s house when his Papa had left it on accidentally.

Maybe you can ask if he’s a villain? Or if he’s a gangster. Would he have cool tattoos like in that movie? Maybe he’s got a metal bat stored away in that old bag of his.

“Mister, are you an Omega?” Yet, that’s all that you end of asking, all that passes your thoughts once more. The talk of these types of things within your home, within your school, on newspapers and on TV… It’s the best question that would best cure you of the knowledge itch.

Cause older kids like him should know more than you, right?

“This what kids talk ‘bout these days?” He sounds… So monotonously unfazed. “Don’tcha got better things to rattle on about?”

Honestly? You do. But your horoscope said that today was a day that you shouldn’t leave things unanswered, for they could bring about ‘unfortunate circuses’ or something like that.

So you ask anyway. You don’t know if you’ll really like a circus. Especially if it’s a bad one.

“No.” Your sandals kick up the sand below you, outsole making trenches on ground. “Don’t you have better things to do than get injured?”

Silence. A crow caws in the background as he narrows his eyes at you.

“Annoying brat, ain’t cha?” A huff out his nose as his words become as dry as the air, his head leaning back to look up at the darkening sky. Maybe it’s just you, but you also don’t like how the orange glow disappears all too quickly when you’re too wrapped up in your head to appreciate it.

At least it makes the shadow you casted on the ground longer and longer— Yet not quite as big compared to his.

“I’m an Alpha.”

Woahhhh. You don’t think you know any other Alphas past Geto-mama. Maybe that’s why he was so big. Geto-mama was definitely really tall. Though, you don’t think you’ve ever even seen an Alpha go to a playground for children.

“Is it fun?” It sure doesn’t look like it for him. You thought he’d be happy to be what was seemingly the strongest willed one. The one Mama talked about first.

(He could definitely find a Gold Machinedramon way faster than you, right?)

“Heh. Ain’t no way, kid.” The scar on his lip looks kind of cool, you think. He leans back, those scruffy bangs of his finally moving out of the way enough for you to be able to catch the shimmering green of his eyes.

He really did have a big shadow.

“Alphas are some of the biggest losers out there.” The way he speaks has too much spite, as if he sounded defeated as you watch his hand pat his thigh as if in search of something— All for naught.

“Ah, fuck. I’m out.”

A softer swear under his breath that you would have caught had it not been for how distraught you were at his words.

“But when I get bigger—“

“You won’t like most of ‘em when ya get bigger either, kid. They’re assholes. Every single last one of them rat bastards.”

Oh.

That’s quite the revelation. But at the same time, you feel something akin to a lump in your chest, an unsteadiness to your heart. You know it’s not tears that were threatening to spill, know it’s not panic-stricken fear that will leave you shaking like a leaf. In fact, you recognize it the best nowadays.

Uncertainty. A knowing doubt. Ambiguity. Your worst enemy.

“That’s not true, mister.” Your feet lift off the ground as you start to lightly swing again. “Alphas can be nice people too.”

You would know. Geto-mama was different, was not anything like he had just described. You like her— Love her, actually. She’s been nothing but good to you in the few years you’ve met her.

A kind lady. Your Mama says it’s hard to get Geto-mama to stop talking sometimes, though.

(You should ask for her astrology sign later. Just in case the news says she’s gonna have a bad day. It’s good to have someone warn you if they’re unlucky that day.)

“That so, huh?” He’s looking at you now, letting his lips stretch out into another smug grin with an uncharacteristic softness in his eye. “Then I hope to see how that shitty mindset of yours holds up when ya get older, kid.”

He’s kinda cool. He would probably make a really good drawing for someone. But—

“You said another bad word.”

“…you been keepin’ track?”

“Mhm.”

The sunlight finally fades when he sighs, the heels of his beaten loafers digging into the sand below as the metal of the chains squeak, finally free of his added weight. He stretches, arms behind his head as he yawns at the fading orange of the night.

“Remember our deal, kid.” His back faces you, only to turn his head only slightly, letting you see the scarred lip that you admired so much upon a grin. "And don't stay out too late out 'ere."

He wasn’t a bad Alpha either, you decide.

——

“Tch! That old man down the street’s a scammer!” Gojo Satoru is pouting, chubby cheeks puffed up with narrowed eyes and stained lips as he pokes at the supposed, promised ‘strawberry’ flavoured ice. “There’s no difference in this one either!”

“He only made them different colours. The melon one tastes the same too.” Geto Suguru is pulling away once he’s had a bite of all three, a hand dabbing away at the remnant sweetness on his lips.

“Was he too lazy to make more because it’s still cold? Mmm... Maybe we should've asked Kimiko-san to bring your shaved ice machine instead."

“No way! She would’ve said that I couldn’t eat it with any syruppppp!”

“That’s cause y’er meant to be on a sweets ban, Satoru. Didya manage to even get it lifted even a little bit?”

“Hmph!”

“So you didn’t.”

“Hmph!”

And there you were, sat upon the playground’s deck, hidden from the sunlight and protected by the shade as you poked at the supposed ‘blue hawaii’ flavoured shaved ice treat.

It doesn’t really taste ‘blue’ or very ‘hawaii’. Not that you know what either of those taste like. Though, you’re not quite bothered by the fact that it tastes oddly similar to Suguru’s green coloured ‘melon’ one as Satoru pokes your mouth with a spoonful of his own ‘strawberry’.

“Heyyyyyyyy! Pay attention to us! Ya can’t daze off when we’re discussing important stuff!”

You’re still bothered by it. Even as your mouth parts to allow the spoon to be shoved not so gently into your mouth, even as you chew in thought as a head lays upon your shoulder and Suguru wiping your mouth with a handkerchief already pretty stained in blue, green and red.

“I’ll love you no matter which one you end up being.”

Ah, your old enemy. Ambiguity. You find it quite troublesome to be you right now, your eyes closed in focused thought and a hand on your chin to sell the look. You can’t just suddenly be okay with any one of them just because Mama said she didn’t have a preference.

It’s not because you think one is superior to another, not because you dislike all of them. Or worse; prefer one over another.

You just need to at least pick one to work towards being.

"Which one would you guys wanna be?" It’s sudden, very out of topic from the Digimon debate your friends were having as they practically hung off of you, tossing your hair about or lying on your shoulder… But you think they understand regardless. They always did, no matter how strange or irrelevant the situation may be.

(You’re starting to think they’re mind readers.)

“…is this because of what Tachibana said?” Ah. You’ve been seen through in a blink of an eye. Were you that obvious? Or was it just because Suguru had always been the type to notice this type of thing?

“You shouldn’t care too much about what someone like him says, (name)-chan.”

Satoru pouts beside you, a hand lightly smacking your shoulder as retribution as you feel him grab your face, pinching lightly at your cheeks as you finally look at him.

“Why’re ya even thinkin’ about other kids?” He squeezes your face for good measure. “We’re here, aren’t we?”

You blink, feeling mushed and very much squished. “Sorry.” You should’ve known they wouldn’t have liked this type of thing either. Maybe you should’ve read the air better.

“There ya go apologizin’ and not telling us what you think again.” A cross of fingers and a sudden flick to your forehead as you recoil back slightly, the only support being Suguru’s hands pushing you back up as your hands go up to be rubbing your reddening cheeks instead. “Don’tcha get tired?”

It’s an honest question on his part, his snappy way of talking and his huffy mumbling about how you need to stop that annoying habit of yours.

But you’re trying, you really are.

“I’ll give ya ice later if it still hurts.” That’s how he is. Geto Suguru who was kind and soft and always tried to soften the blows Satoru lands upon you.

Though, your black haired friend still tuts at him. “You shouldn’t hit her, Satoru.” He stops to really think about it for a moment, slow realisation in his words. “Save ‘em for others who deserve it.”

Their conversation is lost on you once again, your eyes only the slightest bit teary when you open them, blinking up at the both of them before you’re practically smooshed once again by the way they’ve decided to close their faces in on you, their own cheeks pressed against each other from how closely squished all three of you were.

“You cryin’?”

“Did Satoru squeeze you too hard?” Suguru’s brows are scrunched in worry, knitted together in anxiousness as he elbows the white-haired counterpart.

“O-Oi! I didn’t use that much strength—!”

It’s nice to have people worry about you, you think. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside as you feel them tap lightly against your face, pressing the cups of the chilly shaved ice against your cheeks as you simply… Slump forward and let it happen.

Friends are nice to have.

——

You’re finally 7 when you’re using a leg to push open the creaky metal gate, dragging a rather large basket of food behind you and grunting with each step. Mama did pack an uncharacteristically huge amount of food for all of you upon your mention of the mini picnic at the playground.

(But to be fair, you think all three of you do eat quite a bit combined.)

You’re excited. Not just for the food, but for how fun it would be, especially in spring amongst the pretty flowers that just started to bloom. A slight breeze passes by you, flowers blooming and scattering onto the crown of your head as petals fluttered down from the bright pink of cherry blossom blooms.

It’s pretty. So pretty. They blot and cover the plainness of the grey concrete beneath you, creating a path of blushing rosiness with every step you took.

You noticed that even the sunlight was gentle as it spots down from in between those bunched up leaves, so careful as they shine onto the ground. It makes your trek all the more delightful as you hum the tune to the morning news channel.

Ito Saya was quite the pretty news anchor… Even if she only mostly did the weather reports.

Though, you’re hoping that you won’t be too late, considering the fact that you’re the one lugging the rather large basket of treats there. Ah, whatever.

You just hope you don’t miss anything important.

And your eyes don’t deceive you when you witness the chill of spring become tangible in the form of a cute peck to the sakura petal stuck upon the winter child’s cheek.

You watch how the petals fall, how you think you’re forgetting to breathe properly as it hitches in your throat. Were you even blinking anymore? Your feet seemed rooted to the dirt beneath to admire them all the more.

“Is that enough yet?” Geto Suguru is grimacing at his friend, blushing just as pink as the flowers that had flittered onto his hair, petals dancing as they descend onto the hastily smoothed out picnic blanket.

“Mmm…” He had his eyes closed, arms crossed across his chest as the smugness doesn’t cease to stop. “One more would do!”

“Aren’t you being too greedy now?!”

“You’re the one who hit me! So ya have to kiss my boo boos!”

Ah. The pretty moment is ruined, so you can’t help but giggle as you watch from afar. Your friends are the sweetest.

“(nameeeeeee)!” Your snowy-haired Satoru is immediately on his feet, his sandals long kicked off to the side as he waves an arm at you. “Suguru kicked my face!!!!!”

It comes out as a whine, a complaint. Even if he had made the poor boy make up to him and console his pain.

“I didn’t even kick that hard!”

“Ya you did! Gimme all your cake if you really wanna say sorry!”

Your friends are truly the sweetest, you think. When Suguru is the first one dragging Satoru over to help you with your basket, when you’re watching as the blue-eyed boy pouts about the sting on his face, and even when you’re giving Suguru his hug in greeting first, letting him smile into your shoulder as you hold him tight.

“(nameeeeee)! Gimme mine next!”

Your friends are truly sweet— Especially when you mimic the shy kiss Suguru had given to the apple-cheeked boy that had shied away the moment you smiled so brightly at him.

You couldn’t ask for more.

“I’d wanna be a beta with you, you know?” Suguru’s talking through a mouthful of sandwich, cheeks stuffed to the capacity as he tries to push even more in.

Manners are mostly forgotten when not in the vicinity of an adult. And even more so if it was to answer a question you had asked a week ago.

“But… I think Beta would be good, right? It’s in between and has the most balance.” Balance in the sense that— You haven’t heard anything negative about it yet.

“Maybe I should settle on that?”

“Ya both think too little!” There’s a shift, bare feet stepping against the plush softness of the rather well made blanket when Gojo Satoru stand up tall on his own two feet, the shine of his eyes behind fluttering white lashes making you stare a little too hard.

He’s so cute.

“I’m gonna be an Alpha and make both of you my servants!” He has a triumphant huff to his tone, an all too confident posture in his stance as he points a demanding finger at the both of you.

“He’s got some imagination.”

“Mama says it’s cute when we act like babies.”

“Hey! Are ya both listenin’ to me?!”

But their replies have you stopping to think for a bit. How would you know what you would end up as anyway? Is there a way to tell? Would astrology have anything to do with it?

Maybe you need to watch the news a bit more.

“Huh? (name)-chan. It’s smell, isn’t it? That's how you tell.” Suguru’s tilting his head to the side as he watches your eyes blink back into focus, waving a hand in front of your face in efforts to bring you back.

They’re really good at reading minds.

“No, ya dummy. Y’er talkin’ out loud.”

It’s better to believe in magic. The mystical is definitely more fun, and you definitely wanna be a fairy someday. It’s gonna be—

“Satoru.” Your nose twitches when he leans over you to reach for the cream puffs he had Kimiko-san prepare. “You smell like sunlight.”

Maybe different people had different smells.

“Is there anything?” You’re sat on your knees with your arms stretched out to the sides in front of them, barely audible but just enough so for the wind to whisper your voice into their ears, watching as Suguru’s bangs sway with the branches of that familiar tree you were all sat under.

"Can't really make out anything on you, actually." Suguru's face is pressed into your hair from behind, his nose taking decisive whiffs to help answer your question. "All I can smell is that shampoo you and your mama use... Satoru, any luck?"

“Mmm…” His nose is nudging against the side of your neck, taking a deep whiff of the skin before he pulls back. “S’ not that there’s anything actually—“ He dives in for another, his soft face against your own as you hold his shoulder to steady him.

You can feel how the strands of Suguru's hair was brushing against your nape, his palm now resting on your shoulder as his free hand brushes through your hair.

You see crystal blue peek up at you, before leaning back to hold his chin to scrutinize a bit more.

“Hmm… Water, maybe?” His eyes are closed in stark thought as white hair is caressed by another swirl of spring wind. “Can’t really get anything past that, though.”

Oh. You had no smell then. Nothing.

"It's okay. It's enough that you smell nice to us."

You hear him— Suguru say that pretty often, actually. Words that keep affirming you that it’s enough because it’s them, that you don’t need to go any further than that.

“Isn’t it enough that it’s for us?” He taps against the neatly wrapped plastic that held the cookies that Mama had helped you to bake in advance in attempts to make new friends within the classroom.

“Why’d you need it for the other kids?”

You want to have people who like you at the very least, even if you can’t make friends with them. That’s why.

“Hmm… Don’t you think Satoru would be mad?”

Maybe Geto Suguru was just that type of friend. Almost as clingy as your Satoru— Yet not quite letting you see what he truly was thinking. He’s always been quite polite; with you and the others around him.

Yet, you can’t help but feel like there’s something else behind his words, his actions— And his demeanour. You just can’t quite place an ascertain finger on it even when he smiles at you and blows a petal off of your hair.

So gentle. So pretty. He kind of reminds you of your Mama, if you think about it.

"Okay.”

And he looks content with your reply, his arms hugging around you briefly before they pulled away.

He’s really warm.

“Well? Ya have your answers now?” Satoru’s tilting his head at you before he drinks directly from the bottle of juice Suguru had brought, downing the apple juice and completely disregarding the cups Kimiko-san had so graciously prepared.

Maybe? Probably. You don’t really know for sure when you’re curling your fingers into a fist and back into a splayed hand.

It’s enough for now.

previous masterlist next

[fluentmoviequoter]

Always and Never Our Time

Requested Here!

Pairing: David 'Deacon' Kay x fem!SWAT!reader

Summary: You love Deacon and Deacon loves you, but you keep missing one another because the time is never right. Until your time, imperfect and late at night, finally comes along.

Warnings: angst to fluff, insecurities and misunderstandings, canon divergent, comfort at the end

Word Count: 4.3k+ words

Masterlist Directory | Deacon Kay Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

It’s tiring watching the man you dream about from a distance. Though you’re standing inches from him, working side-by-side with your life in his hands daily, there’s a distance between you and Deacon Kay that you’re desperate but unable to close. You love Deacon - have loved him for years - but you missed your chance. The brief moment where you simply knew Deacon, where you could have made your dream come true had you just told him how you felt, came crashing down when it ended.

The weight of your unspoken feelings grows more suffocating each day that passes. But the timing isn’t right, so you’ll stay by his side and support him in everything. If, or when, your time finally comes, you’ll be ready.

“How’s Annie?” Luca asks as you exit Black Betty.

Once upon a time, Deacon offered a hand to help you. Today, as he talks about his girlfriend, you thank Hondo for his assistance as you place your palm over his and jump onto the asphalt.

“She’s great,” Deacon answers, sending an invisible glance your way. “She pointed out again that we could have been married by now if I’d asked her out sooner.”

“Good things come to those who wait, that’s what you always say, right, Deac?” Tan interjects.

You barely conceal your amused snort at that; if all you had to do to get good things was be patient, a lot of people would stop fighting for the things they love, content to sit in silence on the sidelines or bide their time with something else until what they wanted was ready. Not completely dissimilar to what you’re doing, you realize.

“Right,” Deacon agrees, furrowing his brow as he watches you. “But we’ve known each other for a long time, so there’s bound to be some questions in this period of moving from friends to being in a relationship.”

“What about you?” Hondo asks quietly. “Anything new in your life?”

“I heard a new joke,” you answer. “Two, if you count my thoughts about my own life.”

“Hey,” Hondo says, pulling you to a stop as everyone enters HQ. He waits until you face him to add, “I get it. Even if you don’t want me to see it, I know you’re not the same as you were before Deac and Annie started dating. And I know you don’t want to hear this, but don’t put your life on hold for one relationship that may never happen.”

“You want me to start dating someone else to get my mind off him? Hondo, this isn’t a romcom.”

Hondo laughs, but you can tell he genuinely cares about you in this. “Trust me, there’s nothing funny about this. I just don’t want to see you get hurt any more than you have to. If he’s moving on… maybe you should consider doing the same, even if it’s just taking the next stop by yourself and doing something for you.”

You hum, surprised by Hondo’s good advice. “Thanks. In that case, join me for spa night?”

“I know you’re kidding, but I could use it. Convince Luca to gift you the package and I’ll come with.”

You roll your eyes as you walk into HQ with Hondo. When you walk behind Deacon and hear him mention his incredibly thoughtful date night plan for Annie, you feel another piece of your heart tug loose, tied to a dream that passed while you were still asleep.

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Morning, Smiley,” Rocker greets you as you enter the station. “You’re taking the news well.”

“What news?” you ask.

Rocker shakes his head and points at your team. Save for Deacon, they’re all gathered in a small circle and talking quickly with small gestures.

“What happened?” you inquire as you stop between Luca and Tan.

“Deac and Annie broke up,” Hondo tells you, watching your reaction closely.

“Oh, sorry to hear that. Is he okay?”

“He will be,” Tan tells you. “From what little bit he shared, it sounded like it was his choice. They were growing apart, she wanted something else, I guess.”

You nod before they brainstorm a boys’ night to cheer him up. As you walk toward the locker room, your phone buzzes.

              I had a great time last night. See you Friday.

“Hey,” Deacon greets, drawing your attention from your date’s text.

“Hi,” you reply, turning off the phone without answering. “Hondo told me about you and Annie. I’m really sorry, Deacon.”

He shrugs before he raises his foot to the bench to tie his boot. It’s been several weeks since you talked, and your relationship has been strained since he first started dating Annie. Back then, you wanted to wait for him. Then you convince yourself he may never be ready, so you let yourself move on, grow in yourself, and feed other relationships.

As Deacon looks at you now, he wonders why he even started dating Annie. Something inside him convinced him that you’d never go out with him, that you were too good, too young, too close, just too far out of his reach. So, he let the idea go and tried to find the feeling he thought you’d provide in someone more like him. However, now that his relationship with Annie is over, he realizes he just used more valuable time that he can never find again. If he could find the words now, maybe he could change everything.

“How are you? Didn’t you go on a date a few weeks ago?” he asks instead.

“Yes,” you answer, looking in your locker rather than at him. “We’ve been on a few more dates, went out last night, actually. He’s an attorney. Really sweet, a good guy.”

“That’s good,” Deacon responds softly.

You look at Deacon, unsurprised to see he looks the same as he sounded, like he's missing something, lost an important piece of himself that he can’t replace. Part of you begs to be let out, to tell him that you waited for him, but a louder piece of Deacon makes him speak first.

“I hope it works out,” he says. “See you out there.”

Watching Deacon leave, you wonder why time has to be so cruel.

SIX MONTHS LATER

“Hey,” Street, the newest member of your team, calls, “if I ever get sued-“

“What did you do?” you ask.

“Nothing! I swear. But if I ever do, could your boyfriend help me out? Represent me in court and turn it around on the other guy. I would be innocent, of course… mostly innocent.”

“I’m sure he’d help you, but, uh… we’re not together anymore.”

“I’m so sorry,” Street apologizes, his eyes widening. “No one told me.”

“It just happened,” you explain with a shrug. “Literally, five minutes ago in the parking lot.”

“Are you okay? Wait, don’t answer that, don’t move.”

Street turns and runs down the hall, sliding as he takes the corner too sharply. A moment later, he returns, steering Luca and Hondo toward you.

“I want to be on this team, but I wasn’t trained for this,” he tells them before he leaves again.

“What happened?” Hondo inquires.

You pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you debate your answer. “I didn’t think I cared about this relationship,” you begin. Tears build in your eyes despite your long-withstanding feelings for Deacon, feelings stronger than anything you felt for your now ex. “But hearing him list my insecurities and treat my feelings like a closing argument wasn’t exactly enjoyable.”

Luca pulls you into his arms, wrapping you tightly in a protective hug. You grip his shirt and cry against his chest.

“Him dumping me isn’t even what hurt,” you say as you step back. “It was him calling me out for having a crush on Deacon that will never go anywhere.”

“Whoa, hey,” Hondo interrupts, placing his hand on your shoulder. “He was just mad because he thought you had feelings for someone that wasn’t him. Even if you do have those feelings, that was no reason for him to go off on you like that.”

“He was right,” you argue. “I didn’t start dating him as a distraction, but I compared everything he did to what I think someone else would do. Even though I know it’s hopeless, I’m holding on to the idea of something that will never happen!”

“Hey, are you okay?” Deacon asks as he enters the station, dropping his backpack at the sight of Luca and Hondo comforting you and the tears streaming down your face.

You wipe your cheeks with your hands and nod. “I’m okay, Deac. Thanks.”

Stepping around Luca, you rush away from the man you want but will never have. Everything you want in life, a relationship, and your future is inside Deacon. Yet you can’t talk to him right now without falling apart and telling him everything.

After you leave, Deacon sighs and rubs his hand against his jaw.

“You’ve been waiting for a chance since you left Annie,” Luca points out.

“Now’s that chance, my man,” Hondo finishes.

“I’m not going to go after her while she’s heartbroken,” Deacon replies. “She’s dealing with enough without me pushing my feelings onto her.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“Hondo, we work together, we put our lives on the lines daily, and adding feelings to that won’t make anything better.”

“That doesn’t mean burying them won’t make it worse,” Hicks says.

Deacon turns quickly, surprised by the Commander’s intrusion. Hicks shrugs and lifts his mug, stirring creamer into his coffee.

“You’re talking in a public area, gentlemen, can’t expect privacy. Look, Deacon, the way I see it is that you’re angry you wasted so much time, so you’re looking for a way to prevent more time from slipping between your fingers. Yet, you’re so convinced by an insecurity or some perceived unspoken rule that you’re doing just that. Heartbreak doesn’t mean a heart isn’t ready to be given away again.”

“When did you get so wise?” Luca inquires.

“I’m the only one in this room that’s ever been married,” Hicks brags. “Figure it out or drop it, but the grip you’re holding now will give out and hurt more than just you in the fallout, Sergeant Kay.”

Deacon sighs, he knows that, and he’s known it since the very beginning. Every time he tries to let go, to move on, he sees you or catches a glimpse of the life you could have together and claws his way back to the idea, digging into it firmer and deeper than before.

“So?” Luca asks.

“Time to let it go,” Deacon announces.

As he leaves, Luca and Hondo shake their heads. It won’t be long before he’s back where he started. You will continue to dance around one another until you find the courage to say all those unspoken things or the music ends, and one of you is left to regret the time spent in silence and solitude.

TWO MONTHS LATER

“I love you,” Deacon tells you.

You smile as he pulls you close, letting his lips brush over your cheekbones before you reply, “I love you more.”

“Impossible.”

As you laugh, Deacon’s grip on your waist loosens. He looks down at you, and something akin to doubt flashes in his eyes.

“If you loved me you wouldn’t have waited so long.”

You wake quickly, inhaling raggedly as you clutch a pillow against your chest. It’s time, you decide. Time to tell Deacon everything. You can explain that you’ve had feelings for him since before he started dating Annie, beg him to forgive you for wasting so much time with your ex, for letting the fear of doing the wrong thing and driving him away dictate you for so long.

Your alarm rings, and you cancel it immediately. As you prepare for the day, you rehearse what you could say in your head, but after you park at SWAT HQ, you decide that this needs to come from your heart, not your mind.

“Hondo!” you call as you jog into the station. “Where’s Deac?”

“Finishing a training session with 60 Squad,” he answers.

“I need to talk to him.”

“It might be a while. He’s meeting with Hicks and the Commissioner today; he wants to be considered for the next open leadership position in SWAT,” Luca tells you. “He’s dedicated, it’s been a while since I’ve seen him so committed to something.”

Your smile falls, and you suddenly feel like you’re full of lead, a stark contrast to the excited, bouncy feeling you entered with.

“Oh,” you murmur. “That’s great. What do you think his chances are?”

“Pretty great,” Hondo answers, watching Deacon lead the other on-duty SWAT team back into the training area. “He already got robbed of one promotion, but he’s proven that he can do it. I see no reason they’d pass him over.”

You nod, and this time, it’s Street who notices the longing look you wear as you watch Deacon give advice to the newer SWAT members. He pats your back and sends you a sad nod.

There’s nothing you can do; it’s never your time. Whenever you’re ready, Deacon isn’t. The few times he’s been single or acted remotely interested in more, you’ve been in a position that won’t allow it. You give Deacon another piece of your heart each time you miss one another. You’ll be completely heartless before time gives you another chance at this rate. The worst part is that you’re so blinded by your disappointment, so caught up in how you feel compared to what you can’t say or do, that you don’t notice Deacon is exchanging pieces of his heart for yours.

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Deac, we’re going to dinner then Jimbo’s,” Hondo says across the locker room. “You in?”

“Not tonight,” Deacon replies. “Thanks, but I’ll catch you next time?”

“That’s what you said the last four times!” Luca complains. “Are you sure?”

Deacon nods, and Hondo makes him promise before closing his locker and leading Luca, Tan, and Street out into the hallway to drive to dinner. You wave and tell them you’ll meet them there, but don’t move away from Deacon.

“What’s the new job?” you inquire.

Deacon looks surprised that you know about his second job but recovers quickly and says, “Private security.”

Nodding, you resist the urge to reach out to him. Over the last few days, it has taken every bit of your self-control to distance yourself from Deacon. You need more, and the craving becomes a monstrous pit inside you, a chasm threatening to pull you under until it’s all you know. All because you want Deacon, wholly and selfishly.

“Do you like it?” you ask, shifting to hold your hands behind your back.

“It’s fine,” he admits. “Maybe I’d like it more if I didn’t have to do it.”

“I didn’t think of that. No more overtime, no more OT pay.”

“Right. I was barely holding everything together before, but when that went into effect…” Deacon trails off and laughs humourlessly as he closes his locker. “At least it’s temporary.”

Unlike your feelings. “Listen, Deac, if you need anything-“

“We’re friends, I can’t ask you to do that,” he interrupts.

His words feel like a knife to your heart. You are friends, it’s true, but the recent strengthening of your feelings, the urge to walk into Deacon’s arms and never leave, gives his words an edge like a sword. It cuts through you, directly to the part of you that continues to love Deacon despite fearing that you’ll never know what it’s like to be loved by him.

“It wouldn’t change anything,” you assure him quietly. “Goodnight, Deacon.”

He watches you leave, wondering how different life would be now if he’d told you everything when he had the chance.

THREE MONTHS LATER

Your desperation for Deacon has eased since the night in the locker room. You can look at him, carry a conversation, and accept his hand as you stand from the locker room bench with little more than a pang in your heart. Plus, overtime has been reinstated, Deacon’s money issues have become a thing of the past, and your team is stronger and closer than ever. Combined with other things, Deacon allows these good things to be a kind of omen, an encouragement that things are getting better, that the times you’re in now are better than those you came from. So, he stands between Hicks’ office and the locker room to wait for your return from a raid with 50-David Squad. You enter first, smiling as you remove your helmet and pick up your pace to greet Deacon.

The words are ready on his tongue, a proposition, a question that will change everything. Will you go out with me? Will you forgive me for all the nights I wasted, all the tears and unshared feelings, and give me a chance to show you that the wait only made me surer of you and what we could be?

But before he can ask, Hicks steps out of his office and calls your name. “Rocklin PD requested your temporary transfer to train and lead their new SWAT team. Talk it over with your team and let me know by the end of the day,” he explains.

Your eyes widen in shock, but you answer, “Yes, sir.” After shaking your head to clear it, you look at Deacon to ask, “What did you want to talk about it?”

“Nothing important,” Deacon lies, spurred by the opportunity you’re facing. He refuses to get in the way of your career and dreams – painfully unaware that your dreams consist almost exclusively of him. “Rocklin, that’s an honour.”

“Rocklin itself isn’t, but, yeah, that’s a great position,” you agree. “I don’t know, though.”

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving us,” Street laments as the rest of your team approaches. “You’re the only one that understands me.”

“That’s not a compliment,” Tan taunts.

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” you admit. “It’s an amazing offer, but I don’t have training experience.”

“Street’s better off because of you,” Tan points out.

“I agree,” Street says. “They’d be lucky to have you, but we’ll hate them forever for taking you from us.”

“You should go,” Deacon encourages.

You turn to face him, a crease between your brows that shows your combination of shock and disappointment. If Deacon had asked you to stay, you would have, without hesitation, but his encouragement to go, to live hundreds of miles from him for an unknown length of time rattles you. Maybe you misread everything, and he was going to tell you something you didn’t want to hear when you came in, and this is the perfect excuse for him to not have to tell you.

“We’ll support you no matter what,” Luca promises, but your eyes remain locked on Deacon’s.

“Thanks,” you murmur. “I’ll think it over and let you know. I’m going to change.”

You push between Street and Hondo, distracted and deaf to Hondo asking Deacon what he was thinking by pushing you away. You also fail to hear Deacon’s broken reply, “Because it’s better than anything I could have offered.”

SIX MONTHS LATER

When you walk into LAPD SWAT HQ for the first time in half a year with a new haircut and a noticeable glow, you draw attention. Street sees you first and abandons his sparring match with Rocker to jump out of the ring and greet you with a warm hug. Luca and Hondo follow soon after, and then you’re hidden beneath four teammates as they rock you back and forth and welcome you back.

“Did you knock those Rocklin officers into shape?” Hicks asks, smiling as he wraps his arm over your shoulders in half a hug.

“I did my best,” you answer. “They got lucky with a good set of recruits.”

“About your position on 20 Squad…”

Your smile drops as you look over at Hondo. He manages to hold his composure for about five seconds before he laughs, bending over because of amusement at the devastated look on your face.

“It’s still yours,” Hicks promises, tapping your shoulder. “We’ve been waiting for you to get back since the day you left, we can’t replace you!”

You place your hand over your heart and exhale, shaking your head as your smile returns. They’re still the team you know and love, except for…

“Where’s Deacon?” you ask.

Hondo looks at Hicks, who looks at Luca, who looks down at his shoes.

“He’s at lunch with Annie,” Tan tells you softly. “They’ve been trying to work things out for a few weeks.”

You nod. “I was worried he’d abandoned you guys without me here to keep some semblance of sanity.”

Hondo smiles, relieved you’re not too upset by hearing the news. Inside, you’re unsure where you stand, but there’s also a glimmer of hope in this. You’re back where you started: Deacon is with Annie, and you’re working on yourself. Maybe this full circle moment is exactly what you need to move on and stop letting Deacon control your every thought.

“What are you doing tonight, Street?” you ask.

“What I was born to do, ballin’ and shot callin’,” he jokes. “You want to join? My buddy Kel will be there, I think you’d like him.”

You feel Hondo’s eyes on you, but you ignore his questioning look as you agree, “I’d love to.”

Several hours later, a car parks against the curb before your house. It idles for about a minute, then the headlights turn off before the ignition silences. Deacon exits the driver’s seat and tosses his keys back and forth between his hands as he approaches your door. He hasn’t seen you since you left for Rocklin. After a meeting with Annie in which they decided that their relationship was hopeless and they were better off as friends, he knew he had to see you and explain his feelings.

Deacon knocks on your door, but there are no lights on inside. He texts you, but there’s no reply to that either. Torn between calling you or taking this as a sign and leaving, Deacon leans against your door and thinks. The last six months without you have been made up of some of the hardest days of his life. He misses you and has come to understand just how much he needs you, and now that he has a chance to see you again, you’re not home. Just like always. Every chance he has seems to end like this, and Deacon isn’t sure how much more time he can give it before he’ll have to walk away from you. He’s been hurt, and he’s seen you hurt, so he doesn’t want to put himself or you through any more than he has to.

You enjoy the company at dinner with Street and his friends, but your mind drifts back to Deacon every moment you get.

“Why don’t you just tell him?” Street’s friend Kel asks.

“There’s too much at stake,” you answer, shrugging.

“It’s all at stake if you don’t tell him, too.”

“Don’t be so smart, you’re supposed to be Street’s friend,” you joke. “I’ve been thinking about that, but… I guess I’m just scared about what might happen.”

“But you’re terrified by what might not.”

You smile and set your drink down. “At that, I’m calling it a night.”

“No!” Street exclaims.

“I haven’t slept in my own bed in six months and now all I can think about is Deacon. Which actually isn’t that much different than usual. I’ll see you at work, but thanks for tonight.”

The following day, you’re running off pure adrenaline. You tossed and turned all night, your mind swimming with thoughts of Deacon and everything you want, and it all seems reachable now. Then, when you arrived at work, you were met with an unhinged crime spree that had you bouncing between SWAT teams, in and out of HQ all day. Altogether, it left you even more tired and willing to tell Deacon everything.

That’s why running into him in the parking lot after sundown makes you stop. Your barriers are gone, your walls have been obliterated, and you don’t think about any consequences as you ask, “What took so long?”

Undeterred by your blunt question, Deacon responds, “It was never our time. Because it had to be perfect, but it never was.”

“And it never can be.”

“I don’t believe that. Do you?”

“No!” you answer, tossing your arms up. “So why have we been dancing around each other for years?”

“We were scared, waiting for the perfect moment in a world of imperfect opportunities.”

“And now?” you ask with a sad chuckle.

“Now feels pretty perfect,” Deacon says, his smile growing as he moves toward you.

“You can forgive me for missing you so often?” you ask as you lay your hands on his shoulder while his hands find your waist.

“If you can forgive me for doing the same.”

You nod and meet Deacon in the middle, falling into a kiss that brings your worlds together in a beautiful collision. Your lives connect, finally meeting after years of running parallel to one another and getting close enough to imagine what this would feel like. It’s the perfect product of every moment, every missed opportunity, and fear as you prove to one another that there’s love, admiration, and joy in your relationship. And this is only the beginning.

“Why’d you come to my house last night?” you ask as you pull back.

“How’d you know about that?” Deacon counters, raising his brows.

“Street took my phone, told me about the text during the Hollywood call this morning. I’m sorry I missed you.”

“It was the end of an era.”

You roll your eyes and kiss Deacon before he can make another comment about how it was somehow always but never your time until you took the leap and accepted the imperfect.

The door behind you opens then closes, and Hondo yells for the rest of your team when he sees you kissing Deacon. Finally.

[munsonsprincess11111]

My girls perfect

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: you and Eddie are dating have been for a while. Your a cheerleader he's well... Eddie. So when thr jocks make a comment to try make you feel insecure to piss eddie off, Eddie doesn't let it slide easy.

During the school week you and Eddie sit together ever day but Friday. Whether it's just you two or with hellfire. However Friday was normally basketball day so you was needed being a cheerleader. Friday was also hellfire day which meant Eddie was obviously needed.

He would sit with hellfire. You'd sit with the jocks. It was like you didn't exist to eachother on Friday between 11 am to 8 pm. Neither of you minded ofcourse. You had your own things and lucky they fell on the same day. It had been that way for 2 years.

However something was different about this Friday. Eddie was sat at the hellfire table laughing and messing around. Well and annoying the jocks. But after his usual stand on thr table thing on Friday he always looms to you to se you smirk and give him a sarcastic eye roll. But you looked out of it. Like you didn't want to be there.

You starred at your tray didn't turn to look at Eddie. It's like you wasn't there. Eddie sat back down in his chair frowning and kept glancing over at you. Until you pushed your tray away from you got your bag and walked out of the cafeteria some of the boys saying "oh y/n Common."

Eddie glanced at his friend's who was also starring at the table you was once sat at as was other people in the canteen shocked by you leaving. "Be back." Eddie said standing up walking off. He walked to the table you was sat at and stood at the end of it.

"What do you want freak?" Andy said. Eddie rolled his eyes looking at Andy and Tommy sat next to Jason then to Jason.

"What the fuck did you say to her." Eddie said bluntly starring at the three boys blankly.

"Just said she should be more like Chrissy and carol and focus in her appearance more." Tommy said smirking leaning back in his chair folding his arms over his chest. Eddie nodded and walked back over to hellfire.

"Dude tour just gonna let him say that your way to calm." Gareth said looming at Eddie in disbelief.

"Doug can I borrow your milkshake ill buy you another on Monday or before hellfire." He ignored Gareth asking doug. He nodded and handed it to Eddie who bit thr inside of his mouth thanking him before walking off. He walked around thr table of jocks and cheerleaders as if he was going to walk out of the door.

As Eddie got to the head of the table he threw the milkshake so it went over the three boys not stopping walking. "Maybe you should worry about yours I suppose you've gotta have a big ego to make up for thr rumours about your small cock." Eddie said ruffling Tommy's hair as he walked past him wiping his milkshake covered hand on Jason's back.

"Fucking freak." Tommy said standing up. Eddie took that as he had to run. So he did. He ran down the halls with the three boys following him. He went left and as he went down the hall he saw you walking. He slowed down as he approached you.

"Hey baby." Eddie said as he stopped next to you. You smiled up at him. "Here lemme take those." HE said taking the two books you was holding and your bag. He put thr books inside and slung it over his shoulder holding you into his side. "Don't listen to em ok? There is nothing and I mean nothing wrong with you. Babe some of them girls look like they haven't eaten for days cause they listen to them dicks. Your healthy. You got a beautiful face, amazing personality and a banging body." Eddie said holding you closer.

"Banging... Jesus Eddie." You laugh slightly.

"I'm serious want me to prove your perfect the way you are and there's nothing wrong with your weight or body?" Eddie askes stopping you both. You nod skeptically. Eddie wraps his arms around your waist picks you up and spins with you.

He puts you down after a moment and your both laughing. That's what he wanted to see. He wrapped his arms around you hugging you and you did the same. "See I can even touch my other arm don't listen to em." Eddie smirking kissing your cheek.

"I love you so much you fucking weirdo." You giggled kissing Eddie.

"I love you so much to you fucking freak." Eddie smirked back.

"Love how you went from saying how perfect I am to calling me a freak babe." You laughed pushing Eddie shoulder.

"Please we've been over this there is nothing wrong with being a lil freaky sweets." HE sid pulling you back into him.

Before you could answer you heard Tommy, and and jason at the end of the hall shouting Eddie name.

"What are they covered in?" You ask.

"Milkshake." Eddie smirks.

"What why?"

"CAUSE no one fucks with my girl and gets away with it... yeah we may need to run." Eddie says grabbing your hand and running down the hall with you.

Moments later you reach the van which luckily Eddie never locks he swings the passenger door open for you then runs around to the drivers side getting. You get in yourself and slam the door pushing the lock down Eddie doing the same the starting the van up and driving out of thr school faster then anyone should.

You look in thr mirror to see the three boys stood looking pissed. Then over to Eddie who's lighting a cigarette. "I'm not going to cheer tonight they'll be fine without me." You say leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah? Come watch hellfire could be fun babe." Eddie says exhaling the smoke. You nod smiling at him.

"Besides the boys think it's funny when your there cause apparently you make me go all stupid n they think it's funny when you tell me to stop being mean to them." Eddie smirks. You laugh and kiss his neck.

"I love you so much." You say kissing the spot again.

"I love you so much too... you know you could always leave a little mark there I mean I for sure wouldn't mind it. Just saying." Eddie said pretending to be serious. As he drives you leave him two hickeys inna heart shape and he smiles.

-

At hellfire that evening the boys notice it and every time Eddie runs a hand over his neck or through his hair the boys have plenty of comments.

"Woah who's the real master ed?"

"Maybe Eddie's curls arent real after all."

Then they notice you have one to you didn't know about.

"I do not have one!" You protest to the boys at the table.

"Yes you do I fucking put it there." Eddie chims in. You shake your head and Eddie kisses under your ear. "Relax there just jealous cause your more perfect then them so you get one." Eddie says kissing you sweetly. You smile and Eddie turns to go back to his campaign but doug then has a memory.

"You still owe me a milkshake!" HE points at Eddie and you laugh taking Eddie's hand in yours.

"What seeing Jason, Andy and Tommy look like they were covered in shit wasn't good enough for you?" Eddie says leaning back in his chair.

"Was for me made me feel better." You laugh

"Look Eddie you may have been getting your revenge for your fantastic girlfriend-"

"Which was totally a lie what they said by the way babe they inly said it cause you date the person they hate most and are hottest on the team." Eddie cuts off doug looking at you earning a smile a squeeze of Eddie's hand.

"Yeah big lie. But. I TAKE MY LUNCH VERH SERIOUSLY!" Doug shouts pointing at Eddie making the others laugh.

"Fuck off doug ill get it to ya Monday." Eddie says kissing you.

-

After the campaign your helping Eddie tidy up when he speaks. "If he ever makes you feel like shit again tell me. Either me or one of thr others will tone em down. N it would only be the others cause I'm running to your rescue." HE says stretching.

"Really bothered you huh babe?" You say walking over to him.

"Well yeah, I get them being mean to me bit they don't need to drag you into it nd try make you feel insecure. Your gorgeous and they just jealous." Eddie says putting his arms around you.

"Thank you." You says nuzzling into his neck.

"Don't thank me for looking after you against them dicks I'll do it everyday I love you."

"Mm yeh. I also meant for letting me wear your hellfire top when I got cold in the campaign n you sitting there with no top on under your jackets but ok." You giggle kissing him.

"Did I look hot." HE laughs.

"SO hot honestly babe would've jumped your bones right then if you wasn't in the middle of a campaign." You say kissing him.

"Guess I'll have to keep thr jackets on when we get back to the trailer." HE wiggles his eyebrows.

"Your so weird."

"You love me."

"Mmm I do.... let go of my ass."

"Never." HE laughs squeezing it before letting go.

"I knew that conversation was a bit to serious." You say picking up his notebook.

He nods kissing you sweetly.

No matter what anyone said you knew deep down there was nothing wrong with you and of it took you a moment to remember you'd always have Eddie to remind you. As he held you and kissed you you both pulled away resting your foreheads together.

"You still owe doug his milkshake."

"OH fuck off." Eddie laughs kissing you again.

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 50)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (45) & Jordan Nobbs x Leah Williamson Mini (7)

Masterlist (other parts here)

YFN was very aware of Jordan’s feelings after the bombshell admission the night before. She’d been extra quiet, deep in thought and she couldn’t blame her. She’d be doing the exact same.

Lucy was also extra-sensitive to Jordan, however that didn’t stop her from wolfing down the equivalent food for a small family.

YFN reached over and wiped some sauce off her chin with her thumb. “Slow down, Luce, the food’s not running away.”

Lucy was excited to eat, her stomach had been rumbling since that morning as they waited for Jordan to wake.

She nodded a response through a mouthful and knew she was right. It was never good to eat so quickly.

“Are you thinking a late night drive Sunday for your dinner, or will you stay in town?” YFN asked.

“I was just thinking that, actually. I’m thinking staying in London will be best.”

“My place is always free…” Lucy suggested.

“Oh, right. Thanks, Lucy. I just don’t want to be alone...”

“I agree,” YFN jumped in quickly. “So either I can stay or maybe a night with Katie and Caitlin will be a good idea?”

“Oh that’d be brilliant actually. I was also thinking of bringing Blu down.”

“Just let Carla know and drive down after training,” YFN suggested. “That’s stupid she’s making you drive all the way back for a few hours of practice.”

Jordan scoffed. “Yeah and she probably won’t even play me until late anyways.” Jordan shook her head and messaged the girls in the group chat. “Anything fun planned for Barca? You’d be racking up those air miles now!”

YFN laughed. “Oh yeah, I’m collecting those points. Um, I think the team will be celebrating after El Clasico…” she looked to Lucy who nodded, unsurprisingly mouth full. “And also it’s Ridley’s birthday so I was going to show my face there.”

“It’s Ridley’s birthday?!” Lucy asked, surprised.

“Sunday night, yeah.”

“Is she doing anything for it?”

“Oh, it’s Ridley. She’ll have Javier’s place absolutely packed to the brim with people. All the bells and whistles and celebrating.”

Lucy gave an impressed look and then a shrug. “We can stop by.”

“Just for a hello,” YFN reassured and kissed her on the cheek.

“I should warn Alexia…”

“To avoid Javier’s?”

“Or to go…her choice.”

“Isn’t she going to be at the El Clasico celebrations?”

“Probably but not for long, she’s still injured from the last game so won’t be playing. I doubt she’ll want to celebrate too long. What time is Ridley’s party?”

“Oh her parties are always 24 hours long minimum…” Lucy’s eyes widened and Jordan’s mouth dropped open. “It’s a thing,” she shrugged. She was used to it.

“Okay…well Barca celebrations won’t be until later that night. Alexia will be coming over to mine to get dressed.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…I think she was hoping to talk to you a bit more about Ridley…”

“She is complicated…” YFN admitted.

“And you’re the only one who understands her.”

“Fair. Okay well I’m covering the Villa, Hammers game so I’m hoping to catch that 7:00pm flight but it’ll be close.”

“Need a lift?” Jordan asked.

“Yes, please. Mind driving me to the game also so I can leave Miles at Lucy’s?”

“Of course, mate!”

“So are you staying here or Katie and Caitlin’s tonight?”

“Um… I was thinking here tonight with you and theirs tomorrow…” she checked her phone. “Yeah, they’re happy for me to stay. I’ll leave Blu here and pick him up after the game.”

“How long since Leah’s seen Blu?”

Jordan paused. YFN knew Leah was close to him too. She wondered how long it had been since she’d seen him. “A while,” Jordan sighed. “I think I should cancel the dinner.”

“Not ready to talk?”

“I don’t think so. I just want a hug.”

YFN understood better than anyone.

Jordan sighed. “It’s stupid.”

“It’s not,” Lucy said before YFN could. “I’d fly across the world just to hug YFN.”

YFN softened and reached over to squeeze Lucy’s thigh, resting her hand here. She wouldn’t even attempt to hold her hand, they were too full of food.

“Really?”

Lucy nodded. “100%.”

“Would you like me to talk to her?” YFN asked. She didn’t mind being an intermediary if it meant they had time together to heal.

“Please…”

YFN messaged Leah and put her phone down to take a sip of her apple juice. Her phone buzzed. Jeez, she was quick.

Leah: That’s perfectly fine, we can still have dinner. I won’t talk, I know she’s not ready for that. Will she come over to mine for dinner?

YFN relayed the message and watched Jordan relax when she realised Leah was happy just to have her around.

“She’s not the best cook… she hates it.”

YFN: Jordan is confused as you’re quote “not the best cook.”

Leah: I hate it, but I want us to have our space away from people and I want to try for her. I’ve been learning.

YFN’s heart softened more as she told Jordan. Jordan hesitated, her lower lip trembling. “Can I bring Blu?”

YFN smiled, knowing her suggestion was taken on board. She asked Leah.

Leah: Yes, of course! I miss him. Tell her I’ll be ready anytime from 6pm onwards. The door will be unlocked. Thanks for this, YFN. I really appreciate it.

YFN: You’re welcome, Leah. You both just need the opportunity to heal and I want to help with that. I know you know this already but please step carefully. She’s fragile at the moment and doesn’t know what to think. All she knows is that she wants to be around you.

Leah: I’ll respect her space, I promise. The last thing I want to do is scare her away.

YFN replied with a heart and put her phone back on the table.

“She’ll be ready from 6pm onwards and the door’s going to be unlocked. She’s going to give you your space, Dory,” she gave her a reassuring look and felt Lucy squeeze her hand on her thigh supportively.

Jordan nodded and took a nervous sip of her coffee just as her alarm went off. “Time to go!”

She gave the pair hugs and a good luck for El Clasico, Lucy returning the well wishes. They watched her drive off, and YFN would have been more worried if she didn’t know she’d be seeing her that night.

YFN took Lucy into the new office and showed her around, the footballer being immediately swamped as they arrived. Most tried to be polite and give space, but they were all football fanatics after all. She showed her the conference rooms, main office space and her little desk. She had an office but the idea of using it still felt pretentious. She wanted to feel like she’d earnt it, which she hadn’t just yet. Lucy tried to convince her otherwise.

“You’ve done so much…and you are the boss.”

“I haven’t done enough, not yet.”

“Are you feeling guilty because you’re in Spain so much with me?”

She bit her lip. Lucy understood. That was one of her main reasons of feeling like she hadn’t earnt it. “I’ll move in there when we expand next…”

Lucy put a hand on her waist, still aware they were surrounded by most of the staff. “How about you make it a reward for covering your first round of International women’s games?”

YFN smiled, impressed. She hadn’t thought of that. She put her hand out and Lucy took it, shaking. “Agreed.”

Lucy wandered around talking to people and also spent time watching as YFN worked for a few hours. She loved watching her gather everyone and use them so efficiently and to the best of their abilities. She boosted the morale of her team and made sure they were all completely confident about their roles and what was required of them. Only when she was happy with the progress did they say their goodbyes. On the way out, YFN stopped her.

“Oh…Luce…could you sign the wall?”

Lucy tilted her head in question.

“It’s a new thing I want to start. I’ve had this wall painted our brand of purple and I was thinking it would be a cool idea if we had footballers sign it. I’m hoping to have the wall completely covered… I think it’ll be great motivation for the team to look at.”

Lucy nodded slowly, unable to stop her heart loving her even more. “It’s a great idea, little one.”

YFN smiled and handed her a yellow marker. “Anywhere you want… just leave room for other people.”

Lucy looked at the massive purple wall in front of her and laughed. “I think I can manage.”

“Oh and write your name next to it also, please.”

YFN watched as Lucy did a neat signature with her number 2 for England in it. She wrote her name under it and stepped back, grinning. She was the first, just as YFN had wanted her to be. Lucy loved being first.

Their drive to the airport was full of banter and flirting, both planning another facetime with YFN’s nan and brother, and another catch up with Lucy’s family during the next international break in two weeks’ time. It was all so… natural. The worst part was that they kept having to say goodbye to each other. It was the exact reason that her main goal to aim for was to have Lumos running seamlessly so she could move abroad to Spain to be with Lucy and zoom most of the meetings she needed to. She’d need to build up supervisors and the company first, of course, and she talked to Lucy about that. Lucy was honest about not knowing where she’d end up, and if she was going to stay at Barca. Regardless of where she went, though, YFN’s goal wouldn’t change. It would give her more freedom to work abroad and spend more time with Lucy.

They parked up at the airport and checked Lucy’s bag in. They were running on time; her flight wasn’t for another hour but she needed to get through security.

YFN looked up at Lucy, not able to stop the melancholy look on her face. Lucy stroked her fingers down her cheek, brushing over one of her dimples.

“My plane lands at 10:30pm your time,” YFN reminded her.

“I’ll be there.”

“Promise?”

Lucy nodded. “That’s dinner time in Barca, little one. Alexia and I will still be at mine getting ready.”

“Okay,” she whispered and reached up on her toes to plant the softest of kisses on Lucy’s lips as a thank you. She stepped back and saw Lucy’s eyes start to darken. She bit her lip which caught all of her girlfriend’s attention as she freed it with her thumb. Out of the blue, Lucy grabbed her arm and dragged her towards a single bathroom.

“Luce..?”

“I need you.”

YFN didn’t argue. She needed her just as bad. She let herself be tugged along, her body tingling with excitement.

“This is what you get for bringing up babies,” Lucy said as she locked the bathroom door behind them and guided her backwards, both heaving breathing as Lucy dropped her backpack.

“L…Luce?”

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ll be quick,” Lucy said as she pressed her against the wall, her mouth coming down hot and needily. YFN’s hands fisted Lucy’s hair, essentially ruining that perfect low bun of hers. At first Lucy used her hands to tilt YFN’s head where she wanted it for their mouths desperately crashing against one another; Lucy’s tongue finding YFN’s quickly and teasing it. Then, her hands moved down to her pants. Without their mouths breaking apart, Lucy slipped her thumbs under her pants and underwear hanging from her hips and shoved them down just far enough to slip her hand down and feel her. God, she was desperate just to feel her. She looked so sexy in her dress at the awards. All mad at Mark. All protective of her friends and working to help them resolve their issues. Lucy had to cling to all of the strength she had just to not drag her into the bathrooms at the awards and fuck her there. People may have heard but for the first time in her life, she didn’t care. She wanted everyone to know she was hers.

“Fuck, how are you so wet?” She moaned into her mouth as she felt the patch in her underwear against her knuckles and the wet warmth of her little Australian on her fingertips as she teased her clit.

YFN pulled away from Lucy’s mouth. “Maybe it has something to do with our shower this morning.. or the breakfast we had.. or watching you get fan-girled over by my staff in our office. Or maybe it’s because it’s just you, and I love you.” She slipped a hand down Lucy’s pants and found her also in a similar state. She gave a victorious grin.

Lucy didn’t like losing. She pushed two fingers into her little Australian and watched as her body jerked, her mouth opening and eyes shutting as she whimpered. She pulled YFN’s hand out of her pants. “Not me, just you.”

Her fingers began moving, YFN unable to stop her hips rocking into Lucy’s hand as she fingered her. Her fingers gripped tighter in her hair and she pulled Lucy’s head as close as she could get her, until it was buried in her neck. She brought her lips to Lucy’s ear and let her pleasure be heard there; if Lucy wasn’t going to touch her, then YFN was sure as hell going to make sure she heard her. She wanted her own body wet and needy for the plane ride home as a reminder of her.

“F…fuck.. argh fuck Luce you’re so good to me,” she whimpered in her ear. A shiver ran up Lucy’s spine, YFN able to feel it. The footballer used her spare hand to push her pants and underwear down further until they’d slipped to the floor so she was fully naked from the waist down. YFN stepped one foot out to widen Lucy’s access, Lucy going a step further and bending to grab behind her knee and hoist it up over her hip. The wet sound of her fingers pumping in and out of her became louder that way and YFN whined as she became even more worked up, her body needing Lucy the more she had of her.

“I bet you taste so good,” Lucy growled into her neck.

YFN couldn’t help but be turned on at the sight of Lucy’s bicep flexing as she fucked her fingers in and out of her, and she grabbed it, holding onto that large muscle like a lifeline. Her nipples were hard and rubbing up against Lucy’s chest, her breathing ragged as she came close.

“You just had to look fucking gorgeous last night in that dress, didn’t you?”

YFN only responded in moans and whimpers at the feel of Lucy’s fingers curling up into that sensitive spot inside her.

“I didn’t like people staring at you,” she growled again as she nipped her ear.

“I…didn’t like people staring at you, Luce…” she admitted in between whines.

“You want my babies, huh?” Lucy asked dominantly.

YFN shivered as she remembered their conversation that morning in the shower. “L…Luce.. too soon.. ah fuck yes… too soon to be talking a….bout babies.”

Lucy scoffed against her jaw. “We both know how this ends, little one. With you and me. So let’s just start our future now, yeah?” She bit her jaw.

It was YFN’s turn to shiver at those words. Lucy was right, they were both old enough and had been through enough heartbreak and relationships to know that this is how they would end. Together.

“Y…yes…!”

Lucy was unsure whether she was whimpering at the feeling or at what she said. “Yes what?”

“Yes I w..want to have your babies, Luce… argh fuck yes please don’t stop….argh…of course I do…”

Lucy groaned into her neck at that admission. “Come, little one, I want to feel you come around my fingers.”

She sped up and at those words it didn’t take long for YFN’s body to find its release, clenching up around Lucy’s fingers so tight that the footballer moaned at the feeling that she’d just fucked into her. Her breaths stopped as she came, her fingernails digging into Lucy’s skin as that bliss overwhelmed her into state of peace.

She slumped again Lucy with a heavy exhale, a little whimper escaping her lips as she removed her fingers and brought them to her mouth, sucking them clean.

“Yeah... you taste good,” she confirmed proudly.

YFN scoffed as she did what she always did; repay kindness with kindness. She kissed Lucy’s face wherever she could reach her, little butterfly kisses to show her love and gratitude for her little desperate orgasm. Lucy hummed happily, eyes closed and accepted, manoeuvring her face so she could reach more spots. Lucy broke her gesture by kissing her on the lips. YFN leaned into the kiss for a second until she pulled back, Lucy noticing a blushing creeping up her cheeks.

“Um… I’m kind of half-naked Luce and… it’s getting cold..”

Lucy chuckled. “The sexiest Winnie the Pooh I’ve ever seen.”

That made YFN blush harder but actually laugh at the similarity as Lucy squatted down to guide her foot back into her pants and underwear and pull them up.

YFN stopped her before they were up all of the way.

“Little one?”

“I need to pee..”

Lucy chucked. “You should always pee after sex. So go.”

YFN bit her lip.

“Oh come on, I’ve had my tongue inside of you before. Pee. Now.”

YFN shuffled over to pee and clean her excited self up while Lucy washed her hands in the sink and fixed her hair.

“Feel better?”

“Much,” she admitted and washed her hands before wrapping her arms around Lucy and sighing into her collarbone. She didn’t want her to go. She never did. “Are you sure I can’t make you feel good too?”

“No, little one, that will hold me over until tomorrow night.”

“Oh, planning on getting lucky tomorrow, are you?”

“After we win El Clasico? Of course.”

YFN slapped her back lightly. “Cocky.”

“You love me cocky,” she whispered and kissed her.

They said their goodbyes just before the security screening, the pair far too used to airport goodbyes. Luckily it wasn’t for long. She watched Lucy walk away, her black backpack hitched on her muscular shoulders, her thick clear framed glasses hidden beneath her cap and hoody. She tilted her head and couldn’t help staring at Lucy’s ass in those track pants she had on so she’d be comfy for the flight. As if she knew, Lucy turned as she walked, smiling when she realised her hunch was right and giving her a wink. YFN had to squeeze her fists tight to stop her from running and wrapping herself around her. One day. Fuck. How had they ever lasted longer?

[hiem3]

The ceo ;)

Summary~ you are Jeonghan’s assistant and his grandfather wants him to get married so every Friday he goes on a date with a potential wife. He always rejects them and doesn’t plan on settling down until he asks you the big question.

warning 18+~ F1ng3ring, degrading, a little slapping the ass.

——————————————————————————-

Jeonghan is the ceo of a big tech company and he is also your boss. He’s known for being quite the playboy and turns down every engagement proposals.

Every friday he’ll go on a date to meet another women who he’ll reject because he doesn’t want to be tied down yet.

as his assistant you know everything about him so on friday night he said “darling i’ll be out again on a..meeting” you sigh with disappointment “Mr. Yoon can’t you meet a nice girl and please your grandfather? also stop calling me darling, it won’t help you getting a wife anytime soon” he grins and says “what if i married you?”

he does this every time he’ll say something sly to cover up his issue. usually you’ll brush it off but instead you played into his game “hmm maybe you should and then you’ll stop going on those horrible dates” you reply back handing him his brief case. there was an awkward pause for a bit like as if he was actually think about your proposal. “anyways you should leave, you shouldn’t make a girl wait” you say shooing him out the door and into his car.

you’re still back at the office working on some of the files Jeonghan asked you to over look. it’s tiring looking after him but he does have a soft side to him many other people doesn’t see expect you, which makes you love him.

you look at the clock waiting for him to come back. Jeonghan comes into the office fully drenched in water, his long hair is slightly messy, you can see his abs through his wet button up, and he looks mad but in a hot way. “oh my- wha-“ you say before you can make out a sentence he said “zip it. listen as soon as i rejected her she spilled water all over my clothes and then i had to wait for the chauffeur in the rain” he said frustrated. you quickly grab a towel and start drying him off “well that’s what you get for rejecting a girl flat out on the 1st date” jeonghan snaps “what? do you actually want me to get married” you pause “if that’s what you want sure” he grabs you wrists and looks you dead in the eyes. “you’re telling me that you never had feelings for me?” you couldn’t look him straight in the eyes and lie to him. “stop playing games with me Mr. Yoon”. he lets go of your wrist and looked disappointed. “you can leave it’s getting late and it’s pouring rain outside” he says. you say thank you and grab your things quickly. as your making your way out of the door he says “i expect an answer from you, by next Friday” you scoff and walk away. he’s always been teasing you but this time it felt different.

Next Thursday your sitting on your disk filling paper work for Jeonghan. Lately you guys have been weirdly normal even though you guys did have some sexual tension between each other. “Oh y/n there you are” Jeonghan says coming into your cubicle. “do you need anything Mr. Yoon?” you ask “actually yes, can you clear this friday off? i’m planning to have that 2nd date with the girl last friday”.

you accidentally choke on your coffee “you mean the same girl who spilled water all over you?” “well..yes i’ve given it some thought and you were right i should settle down”. you were furious, angry didn’t describe how you felt in that moment. you acted oblivious as if you didn’t care but deep inside you did care. it wasn’t like he was going on another date with a different girl, no! it was the same girl from last time. “hm- okay i’ll do that for you Mr. Yoon” you say putting on your best smile. “great”.

Friday roles around and you’re praying that Jeonghan doesn’t go through with the date. “Y/n which tie looks better? the blue or purple” he asks holding up 2 ties and comparing them. “hm..i think the purple one, it suits you” you reply back not really paying attention. Jeonghan catches on “y/n this is important which tie? be honest” you sigh and grab one of the ties. you start tying the blue one on him “on 2nd thought this one suits you” he says “thank you y/n do you think that she would like it?” you accidentally tie the tie too tight which causes him to choke a little. “sure she will love it” you say giving him a half ass grin.

Jeonghan leans over you and says “are you jealous?” you guys make direct eye contact. it feels like even if you lie he’ll see right through you. you can feel his breath on your skin, his eyes softly looking at you begging for a yes, his hands on your waist. you gulp “no- i mean yes i-“ before you can make out a sentence he kisses you.

his tongue against your tongue and his grip became even tighter on your waist. you pull your head back for air but he grabs you on the back of the head with his hand to kiss him again. you guys make your way to his office table. You can feel his cock against your cunt through his pants. “Mr. Yoon we- shouldn’t” you say breathlessly.

Jeonghan starts kissing you on your neck to your thighs. sliding your panties to the sides and inserting his 2 fingers into your wet cunt “that’s not what your eyes are telling me” he says. that bastard how sly can he be. “oh yeah? you think your so great?” you say boldly. “hm..i would say so..plus your insides are telling me you think so as well” jeonghan says into your ear. jeonghan is hitting every spot making you like putty in his hands. he starts swirling his thumb on your clit. “Hm- Mr. Yoo..n uh right there!” you moan. as Jeonghan is playing with your cunt he’s also kissing your boobs and fondling them. “darling you’re gonna make a mess on the table” you moan “please put it in Mr. Yoon i’m so cl-ose” a sudden rush of pleasure fills your body and tears drip down your face. “it’s Jeonghan and your right, you don’t deserve to cum yet” he pulls out his fingers as soon as you were gonna finish. Jeonghan lifts one of your legs and you start unbuckling his pants. “oh this slut is hungry hm?” you reply “yes only for you”. Jeonghan smirks and inserts his tip. Even with the tip he was too big for you. he brushes through your hair comforting you that you can take him.

he completely bottoms you out and he starts moving. He’s going in deep and fast, slapping you ass around. “you like that don’t you? hm? my little slut” he says while pumping you with his cock and sucking your tittie. “hmMm” you try to reply back but you can’t. the pleasure was too good that you couldn’t form a complete sentence. “you don’t need to say anything”. Jeonghan turns you around and starts hitting from the back. your whole chest is on the table and your ass up in the air. “put your ass up even more” Jeonghan commands slapping you ass a little bit. you groan “Jeonghan i’m close!” “that’s okay just cum my darling” Jeonghan starts fondling with you tits and pumping you even faster. He’s going in so deep that you can feel his cock inside your stomach. Jeonghan grabs your too arms to go even deeper. “uh-uh right there!“ you moan “just cum darling, i can only make you feel this way” Jeonghan says. your legs were shaking from all the pleasure, your eyes rolling back, and you cried out his name while you came. “i’m gonna make sure you won’t be able to walk tomorrow” Jeonghan says smiling at you while your whole makeup and mascara was dripping down your face.

[thefuseoftemptation]

"BUT YOU'RE NOT."

'could I request where Eddie says something mean to the reader.' Not sure where the request went but this is what I got from it. If it wasn't what you thought it'd be, lmk. NOT PROOFREAD.

EDDIE MUNSON X GN!READER

WARNING(S): cussing, angst.

—

Eddie looked over, watching as his Uncle’s chest lifted up and then went back down with every breath he took, eyes shut as he slept.

He never once left Wayne’s side. His uncle, who was currently lying in the bed, had a little stroke just hours before. And sure he was said to be just fine, it still never stopped Eddie from feeling unsettled. Until he got his Uncle out of there was when he’d finally take the time to release a sigh, but for now, he'd be nothing but that. 

—

They had kept him for another day or so just to be sure, to look over him.

Eddie hadn’t slept, muchless left the room unless he was told or it was to use the restroom, and even then he tried to hold it as long as he could. But when you got to go, you got to go.

It was just hours of him bent over, elbows on his knees, as he looked after the one who had been there for him ever since he was little.

You had been by to see Wayne, checking to see how he was doing, while also keeping an eye out for your friend who you hadn’t really spoken to since Wayne was brought in. When you tried to, it never seemed like Eddie was really listening.

Usually what you’d get was a talkative guy who never shut up, though when all you got was short answers to your questions, and him not really even acknowledging that you were there, you thought that maybe he was still hung up on everything that went on. Who wouldn’t be.

It was so sudden, something that none of you were expecting, but nonetheless it happened and here you were.

—

It was just like before, you stopping by to see them. From what you knew of, Wayne was being let go that day. Something you knew he was looking forward to as all he’d been uttering about was how he couldn’t wait to get out.

Eddie was waiting by the door when you got there, rubbing his hands over his pants. 

“How’ve you been?” You asked taking small steps towards him.

“Wayne’s getting out today, s’what I’ve been waiting for.” He shrugged, eyes staring into the window, never once leaving it.

While you were relieved his Uncle was being released, someone you looked up to for the years you’ve known the other, you weren’t necessarily asking about him. You were asking about your friend, who seemed to be nudging you off in his own way.

“And you? What’s been going through that head of yours, huh? Talk to me.” You stood beside him, watching as people happened all around you but also kept your ear there for your friend to talk off. If only he would.

Eddie hadn’t spoken, he stayed quiet, looking like he was thinking over it all and trying to find the words to tell you exactly what he was feeling. What he'd been thinking.

“I thought he wasn’t going to make it.” He sighs, taking a breath before going on. “I know it’s too soon and not even the case but when I heard, that’s all I could think of….that it was just going to be me again. By myself with no one there.”

You tried not to show any sort of sign that you were taken back by his words.

It wasn’t about you after all and thinking that while he was telling you this made you feel guilty. But you couldn’t stop it from pulling at your chest; because he wouldn’t be by himself. He’d have you.

“He’s always been there for me and with what happened, it really got to me- made me see that it may not always be the case. Whether I’m ready for it or not.”

“I understand, it-”

“M’not sure you could.” Your head turned to Eddie as soon as they were murmured. And the look on your face only furthered when he went on. “You couldn’t know how it felt. He’s all I got– the only family there is for me.”

“I’m here for you Eddie. I could be your family if you let-”

“But you’re not.” He spoke, voice rising as he turned to stare at you.

Those words should never be used in the same sentence, especially during a time like this. And it seemed no matter how short they were, their length had you pulling back the hand that you were extending out to Eddie. It fell to your sides the second you heard him.

You knew Eddie was struggling, you knew he was just trying to get through everything that had happened in the last few days but so were you. And it didn’t mean he could just overlook how you must’ve felt too as if you weren’t at all hurting. 

It must’ve slipped too or maybe he was so caught up in everything that he said, whatever was on his mind, but you knew how it was. What it felt like. To not have anybody left, that’s what it was like before Eddie.

It was unknown at the time that soon after that, Wayne would be there for you too.

With the seconds that passed, you took his words for what they were. Shaking your head as you looked to your feet.

You were hurt, but you weren’t going to let him know. You weren’t going to show him, and you were going to leave here with your head up even though you were on the verge of crying, literally breaking with every breath.

Maybe it was much, maybe you should’ve let him be for a while until he was ready, but you also knew that maybe he should’ve understood where it was you were coming from. You were just trying to be there for him after all, and for him to say that to you- to your face without wavering- told you a lot.

It seemed in those few seconds too, Eddie had heard what he said. Seen what the words had done to you. He’d known you all too well, knew when you were holding something in.

He couldn’t take it back, but he could at least try to talk it out with you. But before he could speak, you were already.

“Let Wayne know I stopped by. Tell him I’ll see him” you gulped, suppressing the feeling that was pushing up your throat and pulling at your chest. Not even knowing when it is you’ll see him, not sure if you ever will again.

 “I-I’ll see him some other time, whenever that is…” And with that you turned and left, shrugging off the hand Eddie tried stopping you with.

His thoughts from before now have him rethink, it could never ever be just him if something ever happened to Wayne. It would never.

He wasn’t sure why he even said that. Why he even thought it to begin with. He was too busy thinking about what could be rather than what is and always will be.

Because he had you too. Well, he used to. 

Eddie watched as you got further away from him, and thinking how the fuck he was going to get you to ever talk to him again.

—

PT. II HERE

A/N: feedback and reblogs are appreciated.

[american-horror-whore]

life update (tw assumed almost kidnapping, possible stalking, etc)

I should really be forcing myself to go on temporary hiatus but this is really my only safe space. i’ve been treated very roughly recently, and what happened yesterday just added. don’t worry about me leaving you all, i’m not taking a temporary hiatus

so i’m honestly just gonna start off with a message. Men, women, minors, anyone: please be vigilant of your surroundings. No matter where you are, densely populated places or scarcely populated places, day or night, be vigilant.

My car is currently in a different state, being lent to a family member (which has been going on for about a month), meaning i have to take public transport to and from college since i’m not doing dorms. Where the bus stops is just a short walk from my house, probably only 5 or 6 houses down, 5 to 10 minute walk.

Just for anyone who’ll have questions about why I wasn’t able to defend myself, Massachusetts colleges prohibits carrying firearms or concealed weapons, meaning i’m not able to take my pocket knife or any form of defense i have. The only exception is for law enforcement officers who are authorized to carry weapons. There is also no way in hell i’m leaving any sort of defense on public transport until I come back at the end of the day.

A few weeks back, I had seen an inferno orange-reddish toyota truck slowing down near me. driving it, was an older man. I didn’t think much of it at the time, chalking up to pure coincidence or misunderstanding. maybe i was someone he thought he knew? maybe he had to take a turn? i live in a scarcely populated area, only about 4,000 people live here. probably someone one of my parents knew.

Earlier yesterday, my final class ended around 2. I got off the public transport at 2:30-2:40 and started walking. I had one airpod in my ear, still semi-vigilant of my surroundings. everything was fine. Until i saw this truck again. Okay, it was slowing down, same as last time. Except the man was staring me down this time. And pulled over on the opposite side of the road. I stop, turn around to face the truck to let him know i was aware of what was happening. Shakily, i pull out my phone, pretending to take a video. The man sits in his car for a bit as i walk backward, still holding my phone out. I was too scared to even take a real video or a photo of the plates. He half-pulled out onto the road, looking like he was going to turn onto my side. Instead, he pulled away, most likely when he saw I had a phone. I had called my boyfriend when he had slowed down, just to have someone on the phone.

With all that being said, when the man drove away, I ran up the hill, back to my house. Out of fear, and not wanting to call anyone else, I call my stepfather, anything i was saying was barely audible. He told me to calm down, asked me if i was okay, and asked what happened. I told him what had happened, to which he had asked if I had the plates. I told him no. He said that was okay, talked to me a bit more, and told me to call the police. I called my local station, talked to someone, and I could tell they weren’t just brushing it off as a woman being crazy or attention seeking. They told me they understood I was afraid, but there wasn’t much they could do without the plates. I told them that was okay, and if i saw it again, i’d take photos.

I’ve been extremely shaken all night and this morning. My stepfather put in to get out of work early for the next however long to come pick me up from the stop, which I am so grateful for. But it got me thinking, what would’ve happened if the guy got ballsy enough to get out of his truck? what would’ve happened if he took me? And I have nothing to defend myself with except punches, kicks and bites, which of a 5’3, 98lbs college girl, there’s not much force behind those.

I always want to keep you guys updated in my life, because I feel transparency is important with people you care about. I apologize for how long winded this was, and if you made it this far, thank you.

tags to those know i know will care about something like this:

@fear-is-truth , @newwavesylviaplath

@taintandviolent @marchsfreakshow @cxndiedvi0lets

[writtenjewels]

Survivor

Kaidan hadn't seen Shepard since the commander came back from the mission on Ontarom. He wasn't chosen to go, so all he knew about it was it involved an Alliance soldier who was picked up by Hackett's people. It seemed fairly standard, so why couldn't Kaidan stop worrying about Shepard? He checked the shuttle bay and engineering, but no one there had seen the commander. Pressly didn't see him go to his captain's quarters, either.

Kaidan was running out of places to look. Until he thought to check the sleeping pods. They weren't in use, which meant no one usually came back here. In the very back, tucked behind the last pod, sat Shepard.

“Hey,” Kaidan greeted him. “There you are.”

“Hey,” the commander returned. He had his legs pulled up to his chest. “Was someone looking for me?”

“Technically, no. I just hadn't seen you around the ship and wondered where you were.”

“Well... I'm here.” Shepard's voice sounded strained, like he was making an effort to keep it steady and calm. It was a little worrying.

“Is it the Cipher?” Kaidan asked him gently. Everyone could tell that receiving it had unsettled the commander. He had seemed mostly adjusted, but maybe he was just pretending for team morale. “You can tell me,” Kaidan continued when Shepard remained silent. “I'm the last person who would judge you for it.”

“I know,” Shepard assured him, “but it's not that. It's...” He took in a slow breath, brushing his fingers over his buzzed hair. It had been growing out with the natural dark brown sneaking through, but it looked like he got it freshly buzzed and dyed recently. “I'm not the only one,” Shepard said at last. “I'm not the only one of my team who survived Akuze.”

The words made Kaidan drop to the ground across from Shepard. Everyone knew this story. Shepard and his team were called to a mission on Akuze. They were attacked by thresher maws with Shepard being the only one to make it out alive. The burden of that weighed on him, but now he was saying someone else from his team survived.

“That's a good thing,” Kaidan told him.

“I'm not so sure.” Shepard was looking Kaidan's way, but his eyes were distant. “Toombs... He says they tortured him. He said...” Shepard's breath hitched. “He said the thresher maw was released on purpose. That my unit was a part of some twisted experiment.”

Kaidan gave this some thought. He really wished he was on the last mission, now. He couldn't imagine how world-shattering it must have been for Shepard to discover he wasn't the sole survivor of that massacre. It wasn't the whole team, but it was still one less body on his conscience. But then to be told all those other deaths were orchestrated? That had to be a hard blow.

“What do you think?” Kaidan finally asked.

“I think...” Shepard rubbed his face with a sigh. “I think it's easier to find someone to blame. A thresher maw is a creature—an incredibly big and nasty creature so tough it takes a Mako to kill one of them, but a creature all the same. It runs on instinct; it didn't want to hurt us, it just did because that was its nature. But a person... they have reason, intention.”

Kaidan listened to the commander talk without interruption. Shepard was always giving him that courtesy when Kaidan rambled about his philosophical thoughts.

“I don't know if what Toombs said is true,” Shepard continued, “but damn do I want it to be. I want my guys to have died for a reason. Is that wrong?”

“Of course not.” Kaidan shifted so he was sitting beside the commander. He leaned in enough for their shoulders to touch, giving Shepard the comfort of contact.

They sat like that in silence for a few minutes, listening to the hum of the ship. Shepard was the first to get to his feet. He held out a hand to help Kaidan up, too.

“Thanks, Kaidan. I needed that.”

“You're always there when I need to talk,” Kaidan reasoned. “I was just returning the favor.”

“That's not, ah...” Shepard trailed off. He released his hold on Kaidan's hand. “I should go,” Shepard said abruptly.

Kaidan watched him walk off. It was only then he realized that Shepard used his first name.

[jumexju]

REQ !! : Can you write a denji drabble/fic where denji sees readers SH scars and comforts them? if this makes you uncomfortable please ignore!!

COLUMBA

Pairing !! : Denji / Reader

Fic Type !! : One-Shot, Comfort, Fluff

CW !! : Mentions of self harm scars & depression.

Summary !! : Denji comforts you after seeing your scars.

Note !! : Depression/Self Harm scars shouldn't make anyone uncomfortable, we should accept people with their scars and not despite them. This blog will always be a safe space for my fellow depressed and anxious ppl.. ❤︎

✦ MASTERLIST

“_____?” 

You turned to look at Denji who was sitting at the edge of your bed, his eyes looking at you with curiosity. “Yeah?” 

“What are those?” the blond asked, getting up from the bed and walking towards you. You were in the middle of fixing your hair, wondering what he was talking about. 

“What d’you mean?” You looked around wondering what he could’ve been talking about. You were still looking until he softly took your arm in his warm hands and ran his fingers along the prominent lines on your skin. 

“These.” His honey eyes inspected the healed wounds, wondering how it is that you’d acquired them. 

It was then that you were reminded of your past. The moments in which you felt completely swallowed by the dark shadow of emptiness and solitude. “Oh.” You hadn’t meant for him to see them yet. It was hot so you had absentmindedly took off your sweater, completely forgetting about your scars. How could you explain it to him? 

Would he think they were ugly? 

What would he think of you now if he knew your past? 

“They’re scars,” You sighed, allowing him to see them instead of pulling your arm away from him. 

A look of curiosity flared upon his face, “Where’d you get ‘em? In a fight?” He seemed to think they were cool.. If only he knew. 

“They’re self-harm scars, I..” You looked away from his eyes and down at your arm. You couldn’t bear to see the look on his face when he realized. “I did them.” 

Denji’s brows knit together, “You cut.. Yourself?” He tilted his head a little, struggling to understand. “How come?” 

“I was in a bad place, mentally. I felt like that was the only thing I could do..” You tried to explain it to him but you wondered whether he would understand. “I still feel the urge sometimes, but I don’t do it anymore though-” 

“You can come to me if you ever feel like that y’know? I don’t mind.” Denji’s amber eyes met yours, his hands holding yours while he assured you of this. You smiled a little and pulled him into a hug. Honestly, Denji felt bad that you had gone through all that, growing up the way that he did — he could empathize with you. Many times he wondered if he’d ever get out of the slums, but now that he had, he knew that there was hope. 

He only hoped that you had found the same hope now. “If you ever feel like doin’ it again jus’ come t’me, okay?”  You nodded and pulled apart from him before gazing into his eyes. 

“You really don’t think they’re.. Ugly?” 

A look of confusion washed across his face, “Ugly? Hell nah..! I actually think they’re kinda cool,” He smiled when he heard your chuckle in response to his words. 

“Cool? How?” 

“Well, they’re kinda like battle scars if y’think about it,” he smiled, his pointy shark teeth shining at you. He wasn’t always this optimistic but you could tell he wanted to make you feel better about your scars. 

“You don’t think they’re a little.. Off putting?” 

He shook his head, “They’re part of you n’ I care about all of ya, I ain’t gonna hate them jus’ cuz you were goin’ through a hard time!’ His warm words reassured you. Truly, Denji was being genuine. You could feel it through his words and the things he said. 

You could feel it through this moment. 

Denji hoped that his words were enough. That you could feel what he was saying and receive it well. He could never hate you for things that you couldn’t control. Maybe he was a little stupid at times, but he always knew the right things to say to you. 

He could always comfort you when you needed it.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Give it to Me

Summary: In which Jonathan doesn't feel right taking the camera. Giving it back stirs something in Jonathan.

A/N: It could be a a one shot but if you guys wanted to leapfrog what you might think happens next in the reblogs, I wouldn't mind. Leapfrog: in which a person writes a little something off someone's story in a reblog for someone else to write a little something. I don't know if leapfrogging is a thing, but I would love it if it was. Would it be leapfrogging or leapreblogging?

Jonathan stared at the camera in Will's hand. He should feel happy that he was given a new one after Steve broke his other one. Steve had gone too far, hadn't he? He hadn't actually cared about Nancy or how she felt. All he wanted to do was to make Jonathan look and feel bad. He wanted to show everyone who was in charge. Jonathan shook his head. Maybe that's what he wanted to tell himself to make him feel better about what he did. It had been clear as day that Steve had been concerned about how Nancy would react, and he had gotten angry for her because she had been in shock. . .too stunned for words. It should have been Nancy to break his camera, and Nancy should have slapped him. No, Jonathan didn't deserve this camera. Not only did he betray Nancy in such an utterly fowl way, but he also betrayed his skills as a photographer.

"Jonathan?" Will asked.

"I need to go back in," Jonathan said and took the camera from Will. "Take this back. Come on."

"I can stay in the car for a few minutes, Jonathan," Will sighed.

"Will, please," Jonathan said softly.

"Fine," Will rolled his eyes.

He got out of the car with Jonathan and followed him back into the house. Jonathan could see Ted and Karen in the kitchen with Holly. Ted was holding her, and Karen was trying to get something out of her mouth. Holly was cackling. Apparently, she had eaten something she wasn't supposed to again. Will watched from the hallway, amused by the scene. While his brother was distracted, Jonathan slipped into the living room. Nancy was cuddled up next to Steve. Jonathan pushed away the jealous pang in his chest and stood in front of them.

"Oh, hey, Jonathan, did you forget something?" Nancy asked.

"Here," Jonathan said and handed her the camera.

"That's a gift," Nancy said in surprise.

"It's something I don't deserve," Jonathan said. "What I did. . .it was messed up, and I crossed a huge line. What's even worse is that I made up so many excuses and placed the blame on other people. . .but the truth is that I had plenty of time to stop and not do what I did. All I could see was you guys having fun when my brother was lost. . .It made me a little angry at first. . .then I realized that I was just jealous. . . I never had any friends or did anything like that. I suppose it was my fault because I pushed people away, and I used my camera to do it. I shouldn't have done it, and I want to earn it back. All of it," Jonathan said. "I'm apologizing to both of you, because you both deserve it."

Jonathan caught their eyes. Both of their looked at him softly and full of meaning. Nancy's eyes were a wide, beautiful blue that threw him off so much sometimes that he had to look anywhere else. He never noticed how beautiful Steve’s were until now. He always assumed that they were just brown but no. . .they were actually mostly a dark forest green with brown surrounding the iris. It reminded Jonathan strongly of the woods. Steve was looking at a curious realization as if he had just had a thought, and he wasn't sure why he did. Jonathan realized then that he wasn't that much different than Steve, and he wondered if Steve was thinking the same thing he was.

They both had fucked up. Steve, with his actions, or lack thereof, and words at the Hawk. He knew then why Steve had said those things. He had acted out of jealousy, out of hurt. . . Much like Jonathan did in the woods with Nancy. . . Jonathan had fucked up by taking those pictures, and he waited outside of Steve’s house for Nancy to come to her senses but there had been a part of him that wanted to follow her up the stairs. . . To watch or maybe, they'd let him be a part of whatever it was they were doing. When Nancy had told him that it wasn't okay what he had done, he wanted to continue to not take accountability for the photos because then it would mean something else. Instead, he yelled at Nancy and accused her of being like all the other girls Steve had dated. He had spent so long behind the camera that he had forgotten that people weren't just photographs. There's more to them than he had ever thought.

"I forgive you, Jonathan," Nancy said and pushed the camera back towards him. "You more than made up for it."

"I just - I haven't forgiven myself yet," Jonathan said and placed it on her lap.

Steve stood up, smiling at him. He held out his hand at Jonathan. He wanted to shake his hand. Jonathan stared at his hand longer than he should have. Steve cleared his throat, and Jonathan tentatively took his hand.

"Thank you, you saved my life. . .in more ways than one. I don't think I ever would have realized that there were more important things if it hadn't been for you and Nancy," Steve said. "And I forgive you, too."

"You give us too much credit," Jonathan blushed. "You made the choice to walk away from those assholes."

"It's not a big deal," Steve shrugged.

"Okay, now you're just fishing for a compliment," Jonathan said and Nancy laughed.

"Well," Steve said. "You know, you're welcome to hang out with us any time. . .could definitely use a friend like you."

Jonathan realized they were still shaking hands. . .well, they were holding hands. Steve had started rubbing circles into his skin with his thumb, and he made his eyes bigger, pleading with Jonathan.

"Why? So, I can sit around and watch you two makeout?" Jonathan asked.

"Well, if you're into that," Steve smirked. "You might want to ask Nancy if she'd be up for that."

"I am," Nancy smiled.

"Are you sure you don't want to take the camera?" Steve asked.

"Give it to me when I'm ready," Jonathan said.

"Give it to you when you're ready?" Steve asked, laughing.

"Yeah, what did I say that was so funny?" He asked as Nancy giggled. "Yes, give it to me when I'm ready."

"You're not hearing it, are you?" Steve laughed again.

"What's so funny about you giving it to me?" Jonathan asked.

Nancy bent over, laughing. Steve’s eyes twinkled with mirth as he gazed affectionately at him. He released Jonathan's hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek, much to Jonathan's surprise.

"Well, it looked fun when Nancy did it," Steve said. "And it was."

"I still don't get it," Jonathan muttered.

Suddenly, they heard a loud sound from the kitchen, Holly cackling, and Will bursting into laughter.

"HOLLY! THIS FIGURINE IS NOT SOMETHING YOU EAT!" Mike screamed. "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO PAINT THIS?!"

"You should be more worried that your sister almost choked on it!" Ted yelled.

"Michael!" Karen scolded.

"If she wasn't so cute, I'd - !" Mike start to yell.

"Do nothing!" They heard Holly taunt.

"I think that's my que to leave," Jonathan said. "Will!"

Will came back into the living room, laughing.

"Mike had freaked out because he couldn't find his d&d figurine, and it turns out Holly was hiding it in her mouth," Will said.

"Wasn't gonna eat it, Mommy!" They heard Holly yell. "Just hide it!"

"Why?!" Mike asked.

"You are a meaniehead!" Holly said.

"Yeah, time to go," Jonathan said. "Good luck with that."

"Thanks," Nancy said laughing.

"Bye Steve, bye Nancy!" Will exclaimed.

Jonathan walked out of the living room towards the front door. Smiling, he could still feel Steve’s lips against his skin, as though it had left an imprint there. . .burning its way deep inside of him. He touched his cheek as though he was trying to touch Steve’s lips with his fingertips. Yeah, he and Steve weren't so different. They both strived to do better, not just for Nancy, but for each other as well. They both knew what it was like to be alone and to feel lonely all at the same time. In some ways, Steve kept people at arms length in the same way that Jonathan had done, except instead of a camera, it had been Tommy and Carol. Fuck. Goddamnit. Not only was he hopelessly in love with Nancy, but now it seemed like falling for Steve Harrington, too. Shit, maybe that had always been the case. . .maybe that's why he had been so deadset on admiting that Nancy actually wanted to sleep with Steve because he didn't want to be honest with himself about wanting to sleep with him too.

"Jonathan?" Will asked.

"Oh my god!" Jonathan exclaimed. "I just got it! Steve! Seriously?!"

He heard Steve and Nancy laughing loudly as he finally left the Wheelers. Assholes. He laughed all the way to his car.

[modern-day-bard]

Other Duties As Assigned: A Joel Miller AU Fanfiction

Content Warning: 18+ Minors, do not interact. This story includes mature themes such as drinking, stalking, violence, and explicit smut.

a/n: Hello! Thank you to anyone who has made it this far 💖 I had planned to upload two chapters each time I update the story, but life is getting away from me currently, and I want to make sure I spend enough time editing each chapter before it's posted. Depending on how crazy things get, I might have to start uploading them on separate days. The chapters are always uploaded on ao3 first (it takes less time), and I will get them over here as soon as possible. Thank you again for reading!

Chapter 9: Dodge

Word count: 2.5k

Gwen

I glance at the door to the studio for the third time in under a minute. What possessed me to agree to combat training? Self-defense, Joel had called it. But honestly, unless I’m plucked out of New York and placed on a battlefield, I’m struggling to see when I would need to use the steps Joel is walking me through right now.

“When I said we could do this in the morning, I didn’t think I’d be watching you attack fake opponents at eight a.m.”

Joel stops mid-slowmo punch. “I let you sleep in.”

“Oh, you let me? Thanks, gracious drill sergeant.”

For a moment, I think he smirks, but it vanishes as quickly as it arrived. Dystopian Warzone Training is far too important to waste time on humor.

“Did you absorb everything I just said?”

“Sure.” I don’t even try to make it sound convincing.

I wasn’t lying about what I said last night. The last time I did anything remotely similar to self-defense, I cried until I became such a disturbance to the other students that my mom carried me out. I’m not sure how much of your personality is fully formed at seven-years-old, but this part certainly stuck. Something about the fighting, even if it was rehearsed, really stresses me out. And the majority of what Joel has done so far is just talk while miming a few moves. Talking about what to do if someone approaches me from behind just makes me want to bolt. My mom and I got ice cream when we left, and I keep wanting to leave and do the same thing now, twenty years later. Or maybe I’d start with a croissant instead.

“Miss Russell?” Joel lifts a brow, and I realize that I was off in dream-land.

“What?”

“I was asking what’s one thing you remember from what I’ve told you?”

“Um…trust your instincts…element of surprise…and remember to SING.”

Joel’s brow furrows together. “I never said anything about singing.”

“No, the acronym. Solar plexus, instep, nose, groin.” I put my hands on my hips, hoping he’ll move on.

“You got that from a movie.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. It’s a good movie, but I didn’t say it.”

“Ah, he watches movies. Romcoms, even. Maybe you’re more human than I thought.”

“How am I not—you know what, no. Miss Russell, let’s run through the basics again, okay?”

I give him a non-committal nod. “Fine.”

“Trusting your instincts and using the element of surprise are correct. Just keep in mind your attacker might use those two things on you as well. Someone of your status is likely to be surprised because whoever would be near you would most likely be in an area that you already deem to be safe.”

Geez. Thanks, Joel. Now my palms are sweaty.

“I can teach you how to punch, as I demonstrated before, but maybe we should start with something else. There are maneuvers that catch people a little more off-guard. A punch is effective when administered correctly, but it’s easy to see coming. Plus, someone of your stature–”

“My stature?”

Joel holds up his palms like a white flag. “What I mean is, imagine the person approaching you is my size. It’s a lot for you to defend against. Simply using brute force to take me down won’t be possible. You’ll need to be quick and effective in your attacks.”

Unfortunately, he’s right. I’ve been trying not to look at Joel because I can’t do so without thinking of my friends’ stupid reactions to him the other night. It’s these gym clothes of his. They’re made to mold to men in a way that makes them irritatingly attractive. It’s not the fact that it’s Joel, it can’t be. It’s just a good looking guy being knowledgeable while wearing another dark compression top. It looks…slutty on him. I never understood when people got crushes on their professors, but if they were teaching me something physical…well, anyway, now I get it. Regardless, he’s almost a foot taller than me, and true to bodyguard form, he is built like a method of protection. Sculpted to shield.

Distractingly attractive, and with the combination of how legitimately nervous I am thinking of potential attackers…my system can’t seem to figure out if I’m supposed to be scared or turned on. The thought of that alone sends a pulse of panic down my arms. This man is a nuisance, regardless of how enticing the packaging might be.

“Hitting with an open hand,” Joel flexes his palm, “Reduces the risk of injury. And you can easily attack from a non-confrontational stance, like the one I have now.”

I look at the beast across from me, standing wide-legged, palms up in front of him. “You don’t look non-confrontational.”

“Well, that’s because I’m with you.”

I huff out one, short laugh. “Was that a joke?”

“No,” His tone betrays him. It was totally an attempt at a joke. “Palms up.”

I roll my eyes, mirroring his stance.

“Excellent. From here you can do a heel-palm strike,” Joel slowly brings his hand toward my nose, and I resist pulling away, “An eye strike,” he brings his other hand toward me with his fingers outstretched, “Or a knee strike.” He places his hands on my shoulders, and I jump.

“I’m sorry.” He pulls back immediately.

“It’s fine. I was just expecting your knee. That’s all.”

“I should have warned you that it’s common to use your opponent as leverage to make a strike like that. Why don’t you try those three on me?”

He stands perfectly still.

I toss my braid behind my back, squaring my shoulders, feeling like an idiot. But to give him credit, Joel’s expression is earnest and patient. I feel mean, bringing my heel up to his nose, but I do it anyway.

“Good,” he says, moving out of the way to avoid my mediocre attack. “Now, eye strike.”

I move a little faster this time, and again he moves out of the way, nodding.

Finally, I bring my hands up his shoulders, embarrassed that I have to go on my tippy toes to reach them.

“So, that might not help you with your leverage,” Joel grabs my hands, startling me just a little. He slows his movements, noticing my surprise. “Try putting them here instead,” He places my palms on his chest, and I can feel his steady heart underneath the wall of muscle. “It’s okay to push back a little while you bring your knee up, just keep the majority of the weight on your back leg so you don’t lose your balance.”

He gives me an encouraging nod, and I bring my knee up sharply.

“Hey,” He pulls back, “Close one.” I swear there is a hint of a proud smile on his face now, but it could be from embarrassment. He moves on quickly. “If you’re able, you can also use my arms as leverage,” He moves my hands, much slower this time, to wrap around his forearms. I shift my weight again, trying to ignore how his arms feel against my hands, how strong…

I hike my knee up as fast as I can.

Joel barely gets out of the way in time.

“I’m going to chock that up to you practicing the element of surprise, instead of a very literal attempt to hurt me. Well done.”

“Sorry,” I shake my head, stepping back.

“Let’s move on,” he says, rubbing one set of knuckles with the other hand. “Those are effective if your attacker is coming at you from the front. If they’re trying to surprise you, they may come at you from behind.”

Suddenly I’m thinking of my bed. If I’m facing the windows, my back is toward the door. Some masked figure could creep in at night, and attack before I would even see them. Or if I’m at dinner, and suddenly there’s something threatening pressed against my back, telling me to get up and walk out with them.

A small part of me remembers this from childhood. Some vague memory about the discussion of fighting, or attacking, or opponents, and it makes my heart rate quicken just as it did back then. At least at the time it was acceptable to just sit down on the mat and cry. I can’t remember the last time I cried in front of anyone. And I could never cry in front of Miller. Especially now that I’m irritated with him for…for…I don’t know.

“I’m going to demonstrate coming up behind you, and I’ll show you how to escape. Okay?”

“Okay,” My voice sounds clipped and hollow.

Joel moves to stand behind me and I feel all the muscles in my back tense up. I take a deep breath, trying to loosen up.

It’s just training, Gwen. You’re fine.

“You ready?”

I just nod.

Thankfully, because of the mat, I can hear Joel move the couple of steps it takes to reach me. His warm hands move slowly to cross in front of me, caging me in. This time, it doesn’t startle me. In fact, his warmth is oddly…comforting. Maybe it’s just the fact that I can’t see his distracting face with his too-sincere-eyes. That, and the fact that we’re not currently talking about all these potential threats I’m now facing. Though I suppose the threat has always been here, I just didn’t realize that anyone had taken action toward making good on that threat.

“In this position, you can’t use your arms to defend yourself.” Joel wraps his arms a little tighter around me. His words tickle my ear, and I feel a shiver run down my spine. A sensation I desperately hope goes unnoticed.

“You can headbutt your opponent, though with your height, it might be difficult. I would recommend that you drive your fist into your attacker's groin. But we’ll practice how to hit on a punching bag later.”

I nod again, actually keyed into what he’s saying now.

He releases me, but keeps his hands on my shoulders, indicating not to turn around yet. “The next one I’m going to show you is the chokehold. I won’t apply pressure, I just want to show you how to go through the motions. Is that okay?”

“Mhm,” I wonder if the small circles his thumb is drawing on my right shoulder are on purpose, or just subconscious. I wish I could close my eyes and focus only on how good it feels. In the split second as my eyes flutter shut, I’m overwhelmed by how good he smells. I’m not even sure if he showered this morning. Can a man smell that good naturally?

“Okay so anyone experienced will have one hand on your head,” He places his palm on the top of my hair, “And the other arm will wrap around you here,” He moves his right arm so that my neck rests in the crook of it. As Joel settles in, his wrapped around hand resting on my opposite shoulder, I feel like I should be doing something. Not fighting him off but… turning toward him. Or reaching behind me, grabbing his waist, pulling him closer.

“From here,” his gruff voice sounds even huskier in this stance, “You need to put space between us, so wrap your hands around my arm near your neck and pull. You’ll need less space than you think to get air through.”

I place one hand on his bicep, and one on his forearm, and pull. I don’t want to be noticing the heaviness in my chest, struggling to rise and fall with his arm resting at the top. Or how my breath catches, though he hasn’t applied any pressure, just as he said. All I know is that I’m not thinking of someone breaking into my bedroom anymore. But I’m not picturing myself alone in there, either.

“I’ll tighten just a little so you can use your weight to get away. I promise you’ll still be able to breathe. Alright?”

“Okay,” I sound short-winded, and I’ve barely even moved.

It wasn’t Joel tightening his grip on me that did it, or the feel of his arms, or the gentle way his hand rests on my head despite our position. It was this damn, low, almost inaudible grunt he let out when he pulled me closer. My back being pressed against him by his force alone, the peace it brought me where moments before a spiral had been taking over. I feel myself start to arch my back—

“No,” I say, tapping his arm rapidly with my hand. He releases me instantly, taking several steps back as I whip around to face him, even though I don’t dare look at him directly.

“I’m sorry, Miss Russell. Was it too much?” His voice is apologetic, riddled with concern.

It actually wasn’t enough.

“We don’t have to do the demonstrations if—”

“I’m hungry.” I blurt out.

Joel pauses. “If I made you uncomfortable—”

“Please, I’m not uncomfortable. I forgot to eat.” I laugh a little, hoping he’ll buy it. “I’m gonna go—” I was going to say I’m going to get bagels, but he would be required to come with me. And I need to keep him and his stupid, chiseled chest as far away from me as possible. “I’m gonna go shower.”

“Don’t you need to eat?” He doesn’t look like he’s trying to tease me, even though I know he can tell I’m lying. His big brown eyes are still full of worry.

“Yeah I’ll grab a granola bar or something,” I say as I stride toward the door of the studio, yanking it open. I don’t check to see if he follows me, and even though I assume he will, I make it all the way back on to the elevator and into my foyer without hearing his footsteps. Once inside, I lightly slap my face.

“What are you thinking, Gwen. You can’t stand him.” I whisper, shuddering on my way to the bathroom.

But I know what I was thinking. I was thinking of those concerned eyes, and that natural, musky smell. And how I found myself wishing that Ryan-Brian the other night had hair like Joel’s so I could pull the ends of his waves as we kissed. I was thinking about those broad, broad shoulders. And how, despite other people in my life who claimed to care about my well-being, he had been the only one to tell me the truth about the break-in.

You don’t know his motivations. You don’t know why he’s really here.

The cynic is clawing at the hormonal part of my brain, imploring me to stick to the plan. Get him out of here.

But as that thought floats through my mind, it’s not determination that latches on to it, but fear.

I don’t want him to leave.

Rationally, it must be because of any legitimate threat that could come my way. It’s not because it’s him. I’m just unsatisfied right now. And I know just who to call to remedy that situation and refocus.

So, before I can hear Joel walk through the elevator doors, I turn on the water, and proceed to take the coldest shower I’ve ever had.

Next Chapter

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Masterlist

[osleeplessflowero]

// i love merfolk, so i figured..why not write a skeleton oneshot with a merman blue? 💙 As always, gender neutral Reader. Their soul is up for interpretation! 💜 Ao3 link will be provided once it's posted there! (I am so sorry for my fic readers that get a bunch of oneshots instead of updates..) 💛 bonus points if somebody gets the barbie reference in here

🫧 Into The Sea 🌊

The ocean waves sway beneath you, the sound all too familiar. Your hair blows gently in the breeze, that salty ocean air filling your senses. You smile, comforted by the atmosphere.

In truth, you hadn't expected to come out here to begin with. But since your friend had an extra ticket for a popular cruise line in the area..how could you refuse? Plus, it's a great opportunity to see the sea life you're normally not that close to.

Speaking of said friend, they walk over to you and lean their arms on the rail beside you.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" They ask, grinning. "I'm glad I could ask you to come with me. Sights like these just wouldn't be the same alone." "Thanks for asking me to. Beats staying at home by myself, right?" "Couldn't have said it better. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll see some of the Mer." "Mer? As in merfolk? I thought those were myths?" You turn to them, a brow raised. "Oh no, they're very real. I've asked a few people around and they said they've caught glimpses of tails moving through the water out here at night. They must be looking for food or something." They shrug. "Huh..how unusual. I wonder what they look like.." You look back to the water, a bunch of ideas flowing through your head as you wonder about these unfamiliar creatures you'd only heard about in tales. "Me too. Maybe we'll spot one."

If there were merfolk out here, would they even approach? Surely they would be curious about this large structure during the water. But then again, they may have experience with these sort of things and wish to stay away. Which, of course, you'd completely understand should you be in their situation. Who knows how many hunters have gone out here to try and catch them for fame?

"It'd definitely be a sight." You lean on them, trying to spot any unusual colors in the water. For a moment you perk up at the sight of a tail, but it just turns out to be a dolphin.. you still say hello to it, though.

Things are peaceful for a bit, before you look up to notice that there are dark grey clouds forming in the sky; a storm's coming. Better get inside before something happens.

"Let's go in. I don't want to get caught in this rain." You suggest, pointing at the nearest door leading into the ship. Your friend agrees, walking inside with you and grouping up with several other passengers on board. An announcement is said over the intercom:

"Attention to all of our passengers, please remain calm. A storm is currently approaching us and should be moving out of this area shortly. Please remain indoors at all times and near a safe space until the coast is clear. Thank you."

"I wonder how bad of a storm it'll be?" You ask no one in particular, looking outside at the increasingly growing darker sky and the waves. Your friend perks up, having been focused on something else. "Hopefully not bad enough to end our trip early. It's been so fun here!" They comment, holding up their phone to check the weather and showing you.

It seems a big thunderstorm is arriving, lightning along with it. The winds will be moving like crazy.. You silently hope it doesn't knock out the ship's power somehow. Your friend rests their hand on your shoulder, a reassuring gesture but also to get your attention as you're snapped out of your thoughts.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get us some drinks. You gonna be alright on your own? I can stay or you can go with me if not." They offer, gesturing to a room nearby that leads to the dining area.

You nod. "Yeah, I'll be fine. You go on ahead, I'll wait here."

"Okay! Be back in a sec!" They run off, quickly dodging anybody that walks too close to them. You feel around in your pocket for your phone so you can watch something to pass the time, but..it isn't there. You were sure you placed it there earlier!

..That's right. You brought it outside with you. It must still be out there, you hope it hasn't already gotten wet!

You contemplate leaving your friend before deciding you'll just walk right back in, so you rush outside out of anyone's view to go and retrieve your phone. The wind harshly blows your hair behind you as well as your clothes, the rain gently hitting you from above and falling from the sky like thousands of tears.

Sure enough, your phone's exactly where you left it, beside the chair you'd been sitting in while getting some sun earlier. You carefully walk over to it, dodging the wind as you move as best you can to grab it. Once you finally have it in your hands, you're relieved that somehow it remained untouched.

Your friend rushes out, presumably having looked out the window and saw you, running over and almost slipping.

"Hey! Be careful out here, the wind's insane! What are you even doing?" They shout, holding onto the railing beside the two of you.

"I was just getting my phone, I left it out here and really did not want to lose it."

"Okay, well, just give it to me for now. I don't want you to lose it again and throw yourself into more danger." They hold out their hand, and you place it in their hand before the two of you begin walking back to the door you came out here from.

The wind picks up, much stronger than before. The ship slightly tilts due to the power of it, causing you to fall right onto the rail.

Your friend calls out your name as you reach out to them, before you're abruptly shoved back again, falling over the rail. They try their hardest to pull you back up, but in the end you ultimately fall into the water.

"Someone help! My friend just fell overboard!" You can hear them shout as they rush back inside. You hit the water abruptly, struggling to swim back up.

You fight, swimming as hard as you can, trying to reach the surface without running out of breath. Yet it seems the water keeps somehow pulling you back down.. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you continue to try, before you eventually fall unconscious from the lack of air..

A brief flash of bright blue fills your vision before your eyes shut. You sink slowly down into the sea..

Someone swims up to you. You can't see him, because you're out cold. He's beautiful; a mer-skeleton that had seen you fighting before you fainted, wanting to help you. His bright blue tail glistens beneath the water, his arms having tattoo-like blue markings along them as well as his ribcage. His bright blue eyelights dart over you in a worried manner as he finally reaches your sleeping form. He looks up to the surface before realizing you need air, holding you in his big strong arms as he swims up to the surface.

He pops his head out of the water before pulling you out with him. There's no response from you..

His eyelights dart around before he spots a set of rocks, swimming over and lying you down before pressing down on your chest. He repeats this process a few times, before saying distressed words in a language you probably wouldn't understand, were you awake to hear.

He apologizes, closing your nose and lifting your chin before pressing his teeth to your lips and blowing air in.. somehow, leaning up to take a breath before doing it one more time.. the moment he raises his head again, you spit out water, coughing as your eyes slowly blink open, filled with tears. You take deep breaths as you sit up, the skeleton resting his hand on your back as he supports you.

You look over your savior..a beautiful skeleton merman, who's greeting you with a warm smile. He seems to be relieved that you're okay. So they really do exist.. that's..crazy. And to think one just saved your life..

"Thank you." You say, hoping that somehow he'll understand if there's a language barrier. He pauses for a second, before letting out a quiet gasp and nodding, seeming to have understood.

You turn your head towards the ship, pointing to it. "Can you take me back? My friend is waiting."

He tilts his head a little, so out of curiosity, you try signing the words out to him. His eyelights widen a little bit, and he signs back.

'You Can Sign?' 'Yeah, learned how.' 'That's Great! I Should Take You Back Now Before Your Ship Leaves.' 'Thank you!'

He picks you up in a bridal carry of sorts, motioning for you to hold on before quickly swimming up to the boat. A ladder is quickly dropped down by some staff members for you to climb. You grab onto it, turning to the stranger.

'Thank you again. What's your name?' 'Blue! And You're Welcome, Human!'

You smile at him, pressing a small kiss to his cheek, causing his face to flush a bright shade of blue.

'I hope I'll see you again!' You climb up, hugging your friend who makes sure you're okay.

He gives you a wave, before disappearing into the sea.

"You have to tell me EVERYTHING." Your friend states, wrapping a towel around your shoulders as you walk inside.

"Yeah..let me get some time to think, first."

[pomplalamoose]

If you are ever down I would love your take on a Luke with a ND partner, maybe one who isn't expressive or picks up on social cues. says what ever comes to mind. Takes things a little too literally, is blunt in conversations. Like someone who struggles with their tone so people think they're bored or mean when they really have constantly racing thoughts and new ideas and are always open to new relationships.

I'm pretty sure it has never taken me this long to answer an ask before, but I wanted to make sure I'd put the same time and effort into yours as I did with every other one so far. Sadly I never seemed to get the free time to do so until now, so I REALLY want to thank you for your patience, anon, and hope you're happy with the result🩵

Please note though that for requests like these I'm only able to draw from my own experiences which possibly differ from those of others.

Accordingly nothing I said about "you" is meant to impose any kind of insinuations about behavioral patterns on those reading this, nor is it my intention to criticize or sound harsh in any way.

It goes without saying that Luke, as a friend as well as a partner, couldn't be any more wonderful to be around and I believe that especially for someone on the neurodivergent spectrum it's basically a dream come true to date him.

(Apart from that he's definitely that one friend who listens to you when you think nobody else does and waits for you when you need to stop to tie your shoe laces.)

He's empathetic and sensitive to the emotions of those surrounding him and thus would never make you feel like you don't belong, are weird for acting a certain way, or like you'd be better off pretending to be something you're not to "fit in".

And while Luke's connection to the Force certainly adds a lot to the fact that he has no trouble reading you, he would manage to just as well without it.

Still there's no denying how useful his abilities could prove themselves to be in a relationship, especially should his partner struggle with expressing themselves.

I won't go into much more detail though, because many of the things I already talked about in my other posts regarding his understanding and supportive character can be applied here as well.

(e.g. Master Luke Skywalker headcanons, Luke with a partner on their period, Luke x a reader with mental health issues, breaking down in front of Luke)

However I think it'd be really interesting to take a look at his initial reaction to getting to know a neurodivergent person with the behavioral features you described since I believe they differ depending on which Luke era we're talking about.

• ANH Luke wouldn't even bat an eye

• on Tatooine everyone has to put up a rough exterior in order to protect oneself

• it's not a place of friendly conversations and common niceties; people know they're better off minding their business and staying on their own

• you're very blunt and speak your mind?

• you seem unfazed, even bored during most encounters?

• good for you, it's not easy to navigate this corner of the galaxy and much safer to hold others at a distance

• growing up Luke came across a wild array of all kinds of beings too, one more interesting (and really scary) than the other

• he's not put off, instead even used to supposed unfriendliness

• also he doesn't know anything about where you're from and your people, maybe that's just the way they are and how you were raised?

• he probably thinks you're very cool too

• because surely you have seen a lot? Been on great adventures across the galaxy?

• he really wants to do the same

• if you come across as mean without meaning to it's not a big deal, it only makes him want to spend even more time with you

• ("if mean, then why friend-shaped??")

• most importantly ANH Luke judges a person more by their actions than their words, so there is absolutely no need to worry about how he may perceive you

• it's safe to say you're not getting rid of him as it's nearly impossible to shake him off once he decides he wants to be someone's friend

• he's more than delighted once you get to know each other better and it turns out his intuition was right!

• ESB Luke, on the other hand, may be a bit slower to come around

• not necessarily because he dislikes you but because he doesn't have the time nor the patience to put effort into really getting to know you

• people talk and so he probably heard a thing or two that has him eyeing you curiously

• most likely he won't pay you much mind as he's gone most of the time anyways

• generally speaking though, I think you'd get along pretty well, Luke is a friendly and open minded person after all and would surely grow fond of your quirks before even knowing about their source

• still there's a possibility of the two of you butting heads should it come to an actual meeting

• nothing really severe, of course, but still I can see Luke growing easily frustrated at, for example, your lack of expression, or at your questions when you don't quite get something and want to make sure you understood everything correctly

• and while he's not going to show it or tell you outright that he thinks you're a bit annoying, he's not that good at surpressing dramatic sighs or a roll of his eyes

• HOWEVER if you catch him off guard with blunt words said in a tone that could come across as mean it could definitely get a rise out of him

• after all we get to see that he has developed a certain attitude; he's snippy, quick to talk and slightly judgemental

• (mainly towards Han and Yoda but I can see him acting this way quite often because of all that he's being put through)

• I'm sure that under different circumstances Luke wouldn't react as strongly but with how things are during ESB he might hurt your feelings without meaning to

• once the dust settles and he has a quiet moment to himself he'll feel awful though and most likely seek you out to make amends

• naturally RotJ Luke is a different story altogether

• (the character development this man went trough is absolutely crazy, and I'm amazed every time I do comparisons like these)

• before even taking to you for the first time he'd regard you with a warmth and patience you seldom get to experience

• he quietly smiles to himself when he overhears you having a conversation in that special way of yours or when he senses something sparking an idea

• he appreciates your bluntness

• maybe at first you'd think he's laughing at you but don't worry, he just thinks you're cute

• he feels you in the Force, senses your excitement, your curiosity

• it draws him in

• he is able to see you as a whole, not just what you present on the outside, and so isn't deterred by what others would view as a potential attack or criticism

• (take notes ESB Luke)

• once you've grown closer he's always there to point out social clues you might have missed and/or walks you through certain situations to explain how your behavior might have looked to others when it's something you're worried about

• often he knows what you're going to say before you do and, if that's what you want, gives you a sign you agreed upon, letting you know if maybe it'd bet better for you to be silent instead

• (he absolutely explains dumb sexual jokes to you when you don't get them and I don't care how self indulgent this is, I could really use someone to do that for me, thank you very much)