#so maybe thats why i have no memory of him from when i was that young?
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theartofwoompwoomp · 3 days ago
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I never knew we could coexist together 
Shadow x reader
Summary : shadow is surprised to learns that humans understand grief. And he learns it from the human that’s the most tolerable and happiest in his life. 
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“Do you really think you could ever understand.” 
His voice ragged and tight from the anger. There’s no way anyone could understand what he lost. Especially not you…
You have everything. A happy family, friends, a place in this world. 
 he had nothing…
Sure others may have accepted him, yet it has never been the same and it hasn’t ever taken the pain.
Someone as happy as you wouldn’t and shouldn’t ever understand his pain. 
His grip getting tighter in his hand, he can feel himself shaking a bit as he lowers his eyes to the ground.
He feels bad for snapping at you. He wasn’t expecting to have all his pent up anger explode on you. Finally the shame starts crawling it’s way and he was getting ready to leave. He didn’t want to see your face.
Not right now, when he feels so angry with you even though you’re the only one thats stuck around. 
All his emotions are spinning all over his head just waiting for another opportunity to explode, and he does not want you to be at the end of it.
Without saying anything else, he keeps his head down as he turns to leave. 
But just as he’s a few steps away his are is pulled back quite forcefully towards you again.
“What do you think you’re doing—“
You hugged him.
Holding tight making sure you won’t let go of him. He tenses a bit not fully processing what you’re doing. 
Why are still trying? Why do you still care even if he hurt you? He doesn’t deserve you.
Before he realizes it, he’s holding you close as well. 
Nothing is said between either of you, he’s simply shaking a bit in your arms as you rub his back a bit.
Memories come back to him. Those of maria, his actions, and of you.
Small tears roll down his cheeks but he could care less at the moment. “It hurts.” His voice broken and tired from all the pain that never goes away.
You hugged him a bit tighter as you whisper a bit into his ears, “I know shads, i know.” Not daring to let go or abandon him in this moment, you wait it out. Feeling your own tears slowly dropping as well as his cries intensify.
He feels like he just got ran over, but at least you’re still there, holding him. Both of you more calmed down from the whole ordeal. 
He finally decides to let go from your embrace and you let him. 
He sits on the ground and you follow along and sit next to him. Just waiting to see who’ll be the first to speak.
Surprisingly after a few minutes shadow softly starts speaking, “i don’t want to talk about it.” His brows furrow a bit, “i appreciate your kindness, but I don’t like speaking about my pain.” 
He feels you caress his hand. “That’s okay,” holding it firmly when turns it offering you to continue your action of affection, “i understand that pain can be hard to share.”
He turns to see you, eyes glazing over you face wondering what ever could have caused you pain to make that expression.
“You might be surprised but humans suffer from many things. Some of us are just a little better at pretending nothing’s wrong.” 
“Doesn’t it hurt to do that?”
You look over, seeing his worry through his eyes. “Of course it does. Suffering is always painful.” Your eyes and hands never leaving one another. Sharing more emotions this way than any words could describe.
You lean a bit onto him, “but you know,” he reciprocates as you continue, “i think that’s a reason why there’s so many of us in the first place. Maybe so we could  help each other through the pain… it’s too bad many seem forget the value of this”
He shifts a bit as he feels you move again. This time you’re kneeling a bit in front of him. 
“That’s why I’m so glad that I at least have you in my life.”
His heart twinges a bit, feeling guilty for trying to ever push you away. And you notice it before he even says anything.
“Please don’t shut me out,” you’re hugging him again.
And he hugs you back, holding you softly as he feels your breath on his shoulder. Your actions and words melting all the doubt and numbing the pain. He’s comforted knowing that you’re not going nowhere, staying right there with him.
“Im glad that it’s you, and not anyone else at my side.” 
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masterlist
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atomicpirateperson · 8 months ago
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so I realized that around this time of the year is already past my 1 year anniversary of being hyperfixated on Rob?? time flies
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this is the timeline of how it happened according to some vague memories:
1. i happen to see some random video of The Rerun on like, YouTube I think
2. me: hmm i think that one eyed guy is giving some real gender envy– wait. oh no. its happening. he's the new Chosen One, isn't he
3. im not hyperfixated im not hyperfixated im not–
4. I AM SO FUCKING HYPERFIXATED I LOVE ROB FROM TAWOG HE MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!!!!
5. rob is a major part of my life and my headspace now. i couldn't stop if I tried, because some part of my brain views him as an actual close friend, and therefore abandoning this hyperfixation would feel extremely cruel. i would never do that to him and therefore he will be my imaginary bestie/adoptive son forever. i will never grow out of it. i am perfectly okay with that
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toxooz · 9 months ago
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ever since that one ask i keep thinking abt Jakkans timeline with the whole 'Ollie's demonic genetics cause him to age super slowly and outlive everyone else' so hes like 1000 years old but only looks like he's in his mid 40s but hes also like a half cyborg at this point
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batcavescolony · 1 year ago
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I'm back talking about Harry Potter and Snape's worst memory because while I hate the author y'all bug me.
Snape worst memory isn't James bulling him or string him up in front of the school, (that was bad I'm not saying it wasn't) it was Lily ending her friendship with him because he called her a Mudblood. With evidence.
To prove my point we have to go read the Deathly Hallows when Snape gave Harry his memories! We get to see the scene again but this time the thing that sticks out the most is Snape calling Lily a Mudblood. Now if that's not enough proof the next memory goes like this.
*Outside Gryffindor Tower*
Snape: I'm sorry
Lily: I'm not interested
S: I'm sorry!
L: save your breath... I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.
S: I was. I would have done. I never ment to call you a Mudblood it just-
L: Slipped out? It's too late. I've made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends- you see, you don't even deny it! You don't even deny that's what you're all aiming to be! You can't wait to join You-Know-Who, can you? I can't pretend anymore. You've chosen your way, I've chosen mine.
S: No-listen, I didn't mean-
L:-to call me a Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?
*Lily leaves. Memory ends*
The next memory is Snape becoming a turn coat for Dumbledore so he could keep Lily safe because Voldemort wouldn't spare her.
Snape has had worse experiences then a teenage James Potter being a bully (even if it was shitty). so we look at the rest of the memory and lo and behold what do we see? The actual worst moment of Snape life, the moment he lost Lily forever.
#I just saw someone say they hated Lily because he's was too hard on Severus all he did was call her a Mudblood.#Yeah just called her a slur...And found it funny when dark magic was used on someone. And joined a hate group that would kill her.#And would've let her child and husband die if it ment she lived. bffr 🙄 lets put this in real world terms!#you're a minority (pick one) and you go to a school but their are some people who hate you for existing. but its ok you've got your bff!#now years go by and bff is still your bff but theyve changed. they're hanging out with those aforementioned people who hate you for existin#and yeah you dont like it but they're your bff since for ever so you make excuses. but then bff starts calling people like you slurs...#now bff hasn't called you slurs so maybe its just peer pressure you let it slide its your bff. now you find out that not only are there#people who hate you for existing there is his hate group and they want you and people like you dead. obviously you dont like his. now bffs#friends they want to join this hate group... and bff doesn't deny it. ok thats not great. bffs friends who wanna join the hate group have#now moved passed just calling people like you slurs. they've went and beat the shit out of a person like you that you considered a friend.#and bff.... they say that it was just a joke. but are again not denying wanting to join the hate group that wants you dead. you love bff so#you just keep your mouth shut. now the day comes! bff has now called you a slur. and you cant make excuses anymore. they're just like their#friends and you cut your losses because again bff and their friends want to join a hate group that wants to kill you!!!#its not poor litte Severus its poor Lily. she thought she had a friend and HE betrayed HER! but but but why didnt she stop him from joining#she was a child! she was in a new world with no idea! she was in a whole nother house! and its not her fucking job to fix him! he joined th#hate group HE KNEW HATED HER! if he truly loved her he wouldn't have joined. but but but its not that- ADROMADA TONKS could be a Slytherin#and not be a Death Eater and her family was pure blood. she could do it! so could Snape.#severus snape#lily potter#snapes worst memory#the marauders#harry potter#the deathly hallows#lily evans#put some more respected on her name.#fuck jkr#james potter#slytherin#how can you be a snape stan and not like lily that 80% of his personality.#snape
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jvzebel-x · 1 year ago
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🦋
#i still havent been able to get the pic of my entire family celebrating the holidays together out of my head.#my parents ruined every christmas they could. every holiday. every birthday. everything. there could be nothing special#w/o my dad calling my mother a fat pig or my mom interrupting his dinner prayer to call him a lying hypocrite.#w/o police getting involved&having to explain why my dad had my mom in a headlock or my mom had punched him in the face.#we could have nothing bc their need for misery outweighed their desire to give their children any fucking joy#every fucking time.#but i have to sit here&wonder if im in the wrong bc im being gaslit into missing a family+memories we all know damn well#never fucking happened. i blacked out half my fucking childhood&still know thats true.#i have to wonder if maybe-- just maybe-- they would actually apologize for everything they did if i ever called or wrote.#if maybe they would welcome me back w/o expecting an apology From Me.#but then i remember how the first thing my mother said when getting in touch w me after two years was how disappointed she was in me#for not thinking to tell anyone in the family that i was homeless. how selfish i was for it.#how she only contacted me after getting my email address-- the same one ive had since high school-- from family#bc shed been crying to our entire extended family about how worried she was about me so they managed to find my gofundme#&not a single person in my family donated to it-- but they all had a lot to say about it. didnt they.#&somehow i know that theres nothing for me w any of them. nothing at all but more disappointment.#&photos of all of them smiling that i have to remind myself are definitely not real.#bc how many of those exact photos had i been in? no matter what the answer is i dont remember a single one being real.
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borom1r · 1 year ago
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finally knocked The Monster Project off my watchlist and that was… disappointing?
#idk I feel like it just could’ve been done better. the whole haunted house-esque thing is fun enough but it has DEF been done better#like if I want that vibe I’ll just watch Hell House#OR UH. the one with the fuckin hole in the ground. that creatures come out of#GOD WHAT WAS THAT MOVIE ACTUALLY#DIGGING UP THE MARROW!!!!#that one rules actually#like idk the whole monster interview found footage film IS genuinely a cool idea but the satanist bit was boring and not set up very well#at all. so it just feels tacked on? bc why wouldn’t you have a satanist cult ig?#and I kept thinking Brian was gonna be a monster. THAT felt like it could’ve gone somewhere#he got out of rehab and its established he’s an addict but nothing else. two of the three monsters directly compare themselves to him.#like idk when you’ve got two of your main baddies going ‘ooo were so similar Brian’ AND he keeps splitting off from the rest of the group#like ‘let ME handle this’ idk maybe just have him be a GOOD monster. have it turn out he was in ‘rehab’ to better control his monster side#and the tattoos of initials on his leg were in memorial of friends he killed AS a monster#also the whole drug addict = same as monster thing is fucking overplayed bullshit#it’s one thing if you handle it well like ginger snaps 2 and you could’ve done sth like that here. multiple angles#the vampire gave in completely to her addiction (blood) vs Brian controlling it and finding a middle ground for himself#I like brian tho. I’m picking him up and plunking him in a better story bc he’s an interesting character he could’ve been really cool#ALSO IT FUCKING SUCKS HIW APPROPRIATIVE IT IS. THATS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING THING#anyways 3.5/10 better movies have been made I like one character so I’m keeping him
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hauntingblue · 9 months ago
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And WHERE is the gyojin island road poneglyph
#oh the girls are fighting!!!!#three days and nights??? rookie numbers for ace and jinbe..... the son surpassed the father as always....#teech not sleeping?? lmao yeah he must be a monster shanks... TAKE CARE OF HIM THEN!!!#WHY DIES ROGER SAY FOUR IF THEY SAID THERE ARE THREE. WHAT IS GOING ON#they ARE passing oden arround like a blunt ajdhsksjsjsj edward us not happy about it.... not his oden chan...#oh the breakup.... he is maaaad#WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES HAVING KIDS ON BOARD????WHERE IS SHAKKY#shanks and buggy feeling like middle children now ajdhskd#oden left the person that loved him for hus person and now roger only wants him bc of his knowledge... so sad....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 966#maybe hot take but sanke no binks has annoyed me every time it played since thriller bark bc they played it A LOT in there.....#shanks has hidden the fourth road poneglyph i am sure of it... why do they think there are only three... and roger knows where it is...#ICEBURG!!! FRANKY!!! my theory about his parents may be dead now or maybe not maybe they left him with tom and left#roger is not a real one.... he passed right by tequila wolf and just left.... luffy would never do that...#roger AND oden can hear the beasts???? they are empaths like luffy too....#the king will have a baby.... SEE HOW HE GOT MPREGGERS!!!! I WAS RIGHT!!!#there was one road poneglyph on gyojin island???? WHERE IS IT?? THIS IS THE ONE THATS MISSING????!!!#episode 967#baby hiyori reaching for kappa..... omg....#kinemon already liking momo.... thats his father fr....#roger and oden watching the sunset on wano from the boat.... they fucked after this....#genghis baan 💀💀#omg pedro...... saying he will help roger when he comes... well yes..#roger is so ill... also WHERE IS ROUGE#buggy got sick ajdhajsjj and shanks stayed to take care of him omg.....#JOYBOY LEFT THE TREASURE???? laughtale..... roger wanting to have lived in the same era as joyboy.... well your son did... there is that....#also i still wonder why shirohige didnt get to laughtale.... like he had the means (oden lmao)??? something sinister happened there...#episode 968
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asthedeathoflight · 6 months ago
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I think an underrated angle on 2x05 is something that either Jacob or Assad said in some interview somewhere, which is that in that episode Louis is addicted to heroin. Thats why he has that whole stash of drugs that he gives to Daniel, that's why he gives Daniel the drugs even though he's already got him alone. He didn't just use those 128 boys for sex he was using them to get high. Bring them home, get them to shoot up, and then drain them to get that secondhand high.
It clarifies something that's always confused me about that scene, which is why Armand saves Daniel the first time. He wouldn't save Daniel as a person, he clearly knows Daniel needs to die, but he's not seeing Daniel as a person there. Daniel is just a substance. He rips him away from Louis to stop him from using.
And i think that adds a whole other layer to the fight he and Armand have to think that this is Louis on a bender, with Armand cleaning up after him because he's not stable enough to. Louis in the bed for a week isn't just healing from the burns, he's going through withdrawal. Him at the table with Daniel giving him the "bright young reporter" speech is probably the first time he's been sober in months.
It adds another layer to Armand's desperation, that Louis has been running from both Armand and himself in this way, and of course Armand wants to erase that memory. Of course he wants to pretend that that fight never happened. Not just to protect himself but in a way to protect Louis from having said those things. When he describes the fight to Louis afterwards, he says "you said the worst things you've ever said to me." And he doesn't really know how to forgive Louis for that so he just wants to bury this rock-bottom moment and move on like it never happened. After all, Louis was high, he didn't really mean it, but if he remembers then maybe he might think that he had a point. Better to wipe the whole experience away.
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pnutbutter-n-j-elyy · 6 months ago
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When They Call You Clingy So You Distance Yourself| Maknaeline Pt1
Warnings: Cursing, Mentioning of Blood
Pt2 Pt3 Hyungline  (xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
JISUNG|
There was nothing you loved more than Jisung's singing. Well maybe Jisung himself.
But from the moment you heard him sing you knew that it was game over for you. You didn't know what you had done to have God bless you with the off chance of running into the chubby cheeked boy on the street during a last-minute girls' trip - the result of a horrible breakup.
And you sure as hell didn't know what you did to have him become smitten with you at first glance, softly asking for your number - even though it was obvious you weren't going to stay long.
But after a week of non-stop texting and meme exchanging it was obvious the feeling was mutual so long distance was something you were willing to try.
And it was the best decision you had ever made. Two and a half years strong.
The last year you had spent in South Korea had been filled with wonderful memories too, and you quickly found yourself getting used to living life with Hanji.
"Sungie!" You burst into the studio and Jisung jumped in fear. "I brought you something!"
He turned around with wide eyes and his mouth opened slightly. "What is it?"
You handed him a couple of his favorite snacks and an energy drink. "I figured you were tired since the guys told me you didn't come back to the dorms..." You wrapped your arms around him and peeked over his shoulder at to what he was scribbling in his favorite, beat up notebook. "What are you writ-"
Jisung quickly closed his notebook. "N-nothing."
"Lemme see!" You giggle reaching for it again. He quickly pulled away. "Jiji you always show me your songs!" You said, not noticing his growing irritation.
"Y/N stop I don't want you to see this one." He said grabbing his notebook.
"Why not?" You whined, trying one last time to grab it. "Thats are thing you show me your songs even before you show the guys!"
Your hands folded around the broken metal spine and part of the papers themselves and Jisung pulled away with an extreme amount of force.
The small part of metal that had no home in the small holes of the spiral bound book hooked its way into your hand. And with Han's forceful pull, ripped open your skin as well in a thing but deep wound.
You hissed in pain slightly from a small paper cut on your middle finger, which was ironic considering the much deeper gash in the palm of your dominant hand.
"Dammit Y/N!" He snapped looking at his ripped pages.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." You said quietly.
"Well you did!" He mumbled turning his back on you looking for tape on Chan's cluttered desk.
"I'm sorry."
"Its whatever." Han mumbled, his back still turned to you.
You hold your wrist, you hand bloodied. "Jiji-"
"Y/N I want to be alone right now." His voice was firm, and you could tell he was trying to hide his growing anger. You wanted to respect his wishes but your injury seemed to throb even more by the second, even more blood spilling out.
You nodded but opened your mouth to speak again trying to ask him for help with your gushing hand. "I know but-"
"FUCK Y/N!" Jisung screamed slamming his hands on the table. "Just leave me alone! Stop being clingy for two seconds and give a moment to breathe! You just ruined something extremely important just because you don't know when to stop messing around."
You bit your cheek, trying to stop the tears that were pricking your eyes from falling.
You knew that Jisung was only calling you clingy to to get you to go away. To hurt you enough so you'd want to leave. He had done it before.
And even though it was a bad habit, it was proving really hard for him to break.
You quickly made your way out after watching your boyfriend for a few more seconds as he started tearing small pieces of tape from the dispenser.
And even still you couldn't help but have your heart flutter at his concentration as he bent down to carefully place pieces of tape on the ripped pages.
Dammit. Why do I always have to go and ruin things... You think to yourself as you head out to your car. Grabbing an extreme amount of paper towels to soak up the red liquid streaming from your hand.
You go to wipe your tears, but only smearing blood on your face causing even more tears of frustration, sadness and disappointment to fall from your eyes.
Fuck. I'm gonna need stitches.
You drove to the hospital, continously blinking to keep your vision clear through your emotional state. You were so focused on the road and replaying the whole situation that had just occurred in your head you didn't realize your phone was ringing.
Once you computed the ringning you frantically reached for your phone, so you could talk to Jisung - apologize, just talk things through - not remembering the state your hand was in and feeling it rip open even more, causing your phone to slip and a strangled cry of pain escape your lips.
Incoming call from - Jiji *heart emoji. angel emoji. squirrel emoji.*
Your phone had fallen in between the crack of your seat and you tried grabbing it while keeping your eyes on the road.
Incoming call from - Jiji *heart emoji. angel emoji. squirrel emoji.*
"Holy shit can't I-"
You heard the blaring of a horn and by instinct you turned opposite of the direction you heard it coming from, only to have the noise covered by metal crunching on metal.
Missed Call from - Jiji *heart emoji. angel emoji. squirrel emoji.*
Beeeep.
You have one new voicemail.
"Jagiya - I saw blood on my paper. Were you bleeding? Look, I know you probably don't feel like talking to me and that's valid. I say a lot of mean things to get space- and I know how wrong that is of me. Just...call me back okay? Let me know you're okay...there was...a lot...of blood. A lot...I'm worried. You can be mad but please just let me know, okay? I feel bad. I had a reason for hiding the lyrics; but it just seems stupid now. Because you got hurt because of me...I know I'm ranting but I'm worried sick. So please just...text or something. At least tell me you have the cut bandaged or something. Because baby if I would have realized sooner you were bleeding that much...God I feel like an idiot. Just call me, okay? Or you know what text if you don't feel like talking...just let me know your safe...the guys are worried too...you left a trail...God I feel so bad. Maybe I'm exaggerating but it looked like so much...I love you. Okay? I love you."
Click.
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FELIX|
You heard your front door unlock and looked behind you to see Felix walking in.
He slipped his shoes off and immediately headed towards the game room you had set up from an old study when you and him had frist started dating.
Your desk was still in the corner, but you had set up all of Felix's extra gaming things throughout the rest of the room. Stringing up LED lights and making it as aesthetically pleasing as possible since had taken a liking to filming some of his lives in that room once your relationship had gone public.
You got up from the couch and followed Felix into the room. He didn't seem like his usual cheery self. And his determined steps into the game room differed from his usually excited steps and leaned more towards annoyance.
"Lix is everything okay?" You asked, coming to stand by him. You placing the energy drink you were sipping on by him as you reach out to give him an embrace.
"I'm fine Y/N." He mumbled, trying to shake his PC awake. Then trying to turn on the LED's and lamp next to him. When they didn't turn on he tried plugging his phone in to the extra charger that he always kept plugged in at your home, groaning when that too didn't work.
"You seem upset love, you know I'm here for you."
"I said I'm fine." He snapped as he got up and started looking at the different wires connecting the lights and other various things in the room. "This damned thing."
You got up and looked at the wires yourself. "Let me see-"
"I got it, Y/N." Felix said sternly as he moved his makeshift desk back carefully from the wall enough to squeeze back there and look at the outlets.
At the same time you notice the extension cord didn't look like it was fully plugged in. You let out a small noise of acknowledgement and crawled under table to plug it in.
It was too bad Felix didn't notice your other hand resting on the ground for balance, as he stepped on it while trying to get a better look.
You yelped in pure shock, your head coming up to bang against the underside of the table- and Felix jumping back in surprise - and reaching out to balance himself but instead knocking over your drink onto his extremely expensive keyboard.
You had never heard so many profanities string from his mouth at once.
"I'll go get towels-"
"Are you fucking slow Y/N?!" His voice was harsh. Nothing like the gentle tone he always used with you. "Maybe you are. Would explain why you'd think a fucking corrosive drink could be easily cleaned from a keyboard. GOD." He groaned slamming his fist down.
"Felix I didn't-"
"I didn't know! I didn't know!" Felix mocked. "Well no shit you didn't know. Who in their right mind puts an open drink next to a set up that probably costs more than your monthly wages."
You felt your chin start to tremble and you tried to take a breath.
"You know maybe if you weren't clinging to me 24/7 this wouldn't have happened. Now thanks to you I have to find replacements." He grumbled pushing past you.
You turned to follow him like a lost puppy.
"Dammit did you not get the hint?!" He shouted turning back towards you. "You really are slow holy shit." He spat out.
You watched him make his way towards the door grabbing his keys and just walking out in his house slippers that's how angry you had made him.
"I can fix it..." You whimpered, trying to wipe your tears as you collected an arrangement of towels both dry and cloth. "I-I can f-fix itttt..." You whine as you hold the towels with shaky hands trying to mop up the mess.
"I-I'll fix-fix it-" You keep repeating to yourself until your vision is so blurred by tears the they flow over into the crevices of his precious keyboard. You try to soak up the mousepad he had customized, and the fabric of his chair.
"I'll...fix it..."
Soon enough those three words didn't sound like words you had said them so much.
Your hands were red and raw from scrubbing down the table so much. And you could barely even breath through your desperate cries.
His words kept ringing in your head.
He sounded so angry. You had never seen him like that. And it scared you. It scared you so much.
So much it had you considering if his accessories were the only thing he'd ever consider replacing.
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SEUNGMIN|
You sat in the dressing room, waiting for Seungmin to come back stage.
Tonight was the kickoff concert for their mini tour. Just ten destinations. A mix of normal venues, mini music festivals and things of such.
Ever since you and Seungmin had become a thing a little over three years ago, you had made it your mission to attend all of his concerts. While at first you flew under the radar of attendance- you soon became the "Where's Waldo" of sort when your relationship became public- stays doing everything they could to spot you in the crowd.
Tonight was no different other than the fact that everything went abswolutely horrible.
Malfunction after malfunction. Although most of the Stays were too preoccupied with the the visuals and the improv to really care about the mistakes on the crew end of thing.
And you had come backstage to tell Seungmin the same thing that all the Stays in the crowd had been thinking.
You did great.
Most of the time on Seungmin's shorter trips you stayed out of his way. Calling him and just infroming him of the different places you were visting in the cities, and asking if he would like any specific souvenirs. Thats the way you balanced out most. Thats the way things had worked and you figured they would continue to work...
Until Seungmin came in,.
"What are you doing here?" He asked throwing his jacket on the closest chair, and immediately going to strip off his shirt.
"I just wanted to come in and see how you were doing." You said quietly- gently.
"Appreciate it but you're not exactly helping my situation. I come into the dressing room for a breather - some space but your in here." He sighs grabbing a towel and trying to soak up his sweat.
You frown and look at him, his puppy eyes clouded with frustration.
"I just wanted to tell you that you did good...none of that was your fault. I just wanted to make sure you were aware of that..."
"Y/N. You're getting overwhelming. Seeing you home, at the studio in the audience- I can't catch a fucking break. Its like you're acting as my fucking shadow- clinging on to me wherever I go. Normal couples don't do that." He said as he stepped behind a portable stall to change completley.
You opened your mouth but closed it quickly, not wanting to start something you knew Seungmin was more than likely to finish.
"Like everytime I see you it's such a burden really..." Seungmin came out drying his sweaty hair with a smaller towel. "Like don't you ever get sick of seeing me all the time?" He gives out a smile and a laugh, but his eyes don't crinkle the same way they usually do.
You bite your cheek. "No...why would I get sick of seeing you? Why...would I ever see you as a burden?"
Your boyfriend looks at you in the reflection of the mirror, and turns to see the pain in your eyes.
"I came back here to comfort you Min...but instead you want to find ways to tear me down? So effortlessly at that?" Your voice is growing in pitch by the second but getting quieter and quiter. "I've spent three years supporting you in everything that you do. I've spent money to surprise you on trips Seungmin! When you know I don't have the money to do that!" Seungmin flinches when you use his full name. It had been so long since he heard anything other than a nickname fall from your lips when talking to him. "I always put you before me...am I really that much of a burden to you Seungmin?"
The quiet boy just looked at you.
"Dammit say something!" You exclaimed.
"I...don't know what you want me to say Y/N...I appreciate you coming to my concerts. I do...but don't you have another life outside of me?"
You clenched your jaw. "You're geniunely asking me that? When we've spent over three years together?"
Seungmin sighed. "You know I don't mean it like that..."
"Then how do you mean it?"
He fidgeted and opened his mouth to say something but bit his tongue and thought for a second more.
"You know what...maybe you're right Seungmin." You grab your purse and coat.
"Where are you going?" He asked, a bit of panic creeping into his voice.
"Away." You mumbled. "You're right Seungmin. I don't have a life outside of you. And maybe that's why this doesn't feel so right anymore."
You reach for the door and you feel both his hands wrap around your arm.
"B-Baby...y...you don't mean that...you don't." He pleaded softly. You watched as his brown eyes searched your face for any bluff. "We're right...we feel right-we we fit right..." His voice took a little pitiful whine to it and you felt as if you just kicked a puppy.
Right now he looked like a kicked puppy.
You had to turn your face away so he couldn't see your walls built in anger break.
Because no matter how petty you could be you wouldn't do that to Seungmin.
Would you?
"Seungmin...you think you can just go and say those things...the things that effortlessly hurt me?" You took a deep breath. "It's like you put no thought into how you crack my heart."
Not break. He couldn't break it...
"Jagiya...please...please stay?"
Couldn't my ass. He damn well could. And two could play that game.
"I'm leaving." You said pulling your arm from him roughly, knowing that you ripping yourself from the embrace you relied on so much would hurt him the most.
"You don't mean it...we're both frustrated...Jagiya..."
You decided not to look back as you walked out the door.
Knowing just how quickly your resolve you fold if you saw just how easily Seungmin's heartbreak was painted on to him.
You knew you'd fold the second you saw how his heartbreak mirrored your own.
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
JEONGIN|
Please leave a message after the tone.
You groan as you guide yourself to the counter, holding onto it trying to find unwavering land in the battle of dizziness you were fighting.
Please leave a message after the tone.
"Pick up..." You groan as you try to hit the call button for Jeongin, your vision was clouded and you mistakenly pressed your second most recent call.
"Y/N? What's up?"
"Ji...Jisung...grab Jeongin for me?"
"Y/N...he's a little...irked right now. We were poking fun at him when you called but I think we went a bit too far... I don't think its the best idea..."
"Jisung, please?"
You heard Jisung shuffle around, and you heard the crunching of leaves as he made his way towards the sound of loud laughter.
"Innie! Your girlfriend is one the phone!"
You think you're hearing things when you hear Jeongin's distinct groan- but you don't have time to think about it before you hear all of his elder group members "ooh" and "ahh" at the youngest member.
"What is it?" The annoyance in his voice is evident.
"Innie...I don't feel good." You say steadying yourself on the counter. Your hands are slick with sweat, just like the rest of your body.
"Y/N I don't know what you want me to do about that." He says, covering the mic to yell something at the members- who are making kissing noises and mimicking romantic music in the background. "I'm hours away and I'm not gonna be back until Monday."
You whimper as you lower yourself onto the ground, your head swimming with dizziness - all while feeling as if someone tigthened a rubber band around your noggin.
"Stop being so dramatic and take medicine if its that bad." He finally says. "It's embarassing to have you blow up my phone while I'm on a guys trip - and even more embarassing for you to blow up my friends phones as well."
Something about the way he says my makes your heart sting slightly. As if you hadn't cultivated friendships with the guys as well.
"Maybe if you had answere-"
"Just stop Y/N! I'm not a baby! And having you cling to me...its making the guys think that. I mean don't you see how annoying that looks? Childish? Being clingy is downright childish."
You can't really focus on Jeongin's angry rant because you vision is getting blurry, and your head is throbbing so horribly, and your body is getting so clammy you can't focus on anything other than how shitty you feel.
"I think I'm gonna pass out-"
You hear Jeongin's exasperated huff. "You always have to make it about you don't you?! I'm trying to tell you how I want you sto stop blowing up my phone so damn much while I'm with the guys and you're here being dramtic. We're adults Y/N. We don't have to rely on each other for everything! So just lay down if your feeling that bad. I don;t cal you for everything."
You groan into the phone. "Jeongin-"
"Holy shit Y/N, can't you take a hint? For fuck's sake...I'll talk to you Monday." He said before hanging up, his tone exuding the aura of a typical "too-cool-for-anyone" teen boy or more specifically a hormonal attitude filled PMS monster.
You take a second to breathe, the nausea that was hitting you in waves only coming in faster and stronger.
You scrolled through your contacts and just clicked on one. Your fingers were trembling and you could barely press the speaker button before dropping your phone to the ground in a moment of weakness.
I'm gonna pass out...just...a minute longer...wait until someone answers...
You decided to not delay the inevitable and just lay on the cool ground that you'd end up on anyway. Might as well save yourself from an uneccassary bump.
"Hello?"
"I think I'm gonna faint..." You groan.
"The fuck? Y/N? What? I'm on my way I'm at the studio I'll be there in a minute..."
You give a small hmm and lean more into the floor if that was possible.
It brought you back to when you were a child, and would decide to randomly nap on the ground.
Maybe I am childish...
Maybe he was right...
You're mine clears as your mind goes static then black as if a switch turned on.
"Y/N? Y/N!"
When you open your eyes your blinded by lights and instantly annoyed by the beeping of mulitple machines.
"Y/N-ie!" You see the smiling faces of Chaeryeong and Yeji. Then Ryujin, Lia and Yuna's faces pop around you too.
"The doctor said your blood sugar was extremley low." Yeji said grabbing your hands. "He said that they're gonna run a few more tests on you too see what the cause of it was."
"We were worried sick when you called Chaer so we all came!" Lia exclaims.
You smiled gratefully, your head still throbbing slightly.
"Thank you." You said quietly.
"I called Changbin." Chaeryeong commented. "I thought it was best that one of the Kids relay the message to your boyfriend."
You pop up in bed, the sudden movement dizzying you. "What? What did you say?"
"I just told him we found you past out in your kitchen. At that point we didn't know what caused it...so all I said is we were bringing you to the hospital."
"Your boyfriend has been calling your phone for the last hour and a half." Yuna says nodding towards your phone.
26 missed calls.
"Hah...so he calls me clingy and childish then proceeds to call my phone 26 times?" You groan as you throw yourself back onto the hospital bed.
The ITZY girls look at you with sympathetic looks, Yeji squeezing your hands gently as well.
"Fuck it." You mumble, a fit of anger bubbling inside you as you swiped away all the call notifications, an insurge of pettiness filling you. "Clingy and childish my ass. I'll show him what that actually looks like."
(xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx)
@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha @iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric @panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee @shuporanporang
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its-avalon-08 · 22 days ago
Note
I don't know if you're taking requests, but can you do something where the reader and Lando broke up after they had a stupid fight about where readerfeels they haven't spent any time together so lando tells her to leave in a fit of rage. (One Lando regrets and is very sad. Sad boy.) And a few weeks later reader gets into a accident and the hospital calls him because he's next of kin when they were dating and when he gets there he's freaked and the doctors surprises him by saying the baby's fine, but reader tells lando that he has to be there for them both thats why she didn't tell him because she didn't want her baby to feel second best. Happy ending, though, please. I'm sorry if that's long.
never enough (ln4)
✦ pairing - lando norris x female!reader
✦ genre - angst, tears, comfort, break up
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The tension in the room was suffocating, every word between them cutting deeper than the last. Y/N stood near the dining table, her arms crossed, her face a mixture of frustration and heartbreak. Lando sat on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, running his hands through his hair.
“You don’t even try anymore, Lando!” Y/N’s voice cracked as she spoke, but her words were sharp. “I can’t remember the last time you actually looked at me like I mattered to you. Do you even care?”
His head snapped up, his eyes blazing. “Don’t you dare say that, Y/N. Don’t you dare act like I don’t care. I’m doing my best here!”
“Your best?” she scoffed, her tone bitter. “Your best is spending every waking moment either at the track, with the team, or in your own world. You’re never here. Not really.”
Lando stood abruptly, the movement startling. “I’m sorry that I have a career that demands everything from me! What do you want me to do? Quit? Give it all up just to sit here and hold your hand?”
“That’s not what I’m asking for, and you know it!” Y/N fired back, her voice trembling with barely contained anger. “I’m asking for you to make time for me. For us. But I’m always the one waiting, always the one begging for scraps of your attention. I can’t keep doing this, Lando. I feel like I’m not even a priority anymore!”
His fists clenched at his sides, his voice rising as frustration overtook him. “And I feel like no matter what I do, it’s never enough for you! I’m stretched thin, Y/N! I don’t know what else you want from me!”
“I want you to act like you actually love me!” she shouted, tears now streaming down her face. “Like I’m more than just someone waiting for you at home!”
“Fine!” he yelled, his voice thunderous in the quiet room. “If I’m so terrible—if being with me is such a burden—then maybe you should just leave!”
The words hung in the air like a death sentence, and Y/N froze, staring at him as if he had just struck her. “What?” she whispered, her voice barely audible.
“Leave,” Lando said again, though his voice was quieter now, the anger giving way to something more hollow. “If this isn’t enough for you, then just...go.”
Her breath hitched, the weight of his words crashing down on her. She shook her head, her voice trembling. “You don’t mean that.”
“Maybe I do,” he muttered, though his eyes betrayed the regret already forming in his chest.
Y/N’s hands trembled as she grabbed her bag from the chair, slinging it over her shoulder. “You’ll regret this,” she said quietly, her voice breaking on the last word.
He didn’t respond, his silence cutting deeper than any argument could have.
And when the door slammed shut behind her, the emptiness it left behind was deafening.
-- time skip --
It had been weeks since Y/N left, and the emptiness in Lando’s flat mirrored the hollow ache in his chest. The regret weighed heavily on him, an unrelenting reminder of what he had lost. He tried to focus on racing, to bury himself in work, but it only made the silence louder.
Every room held memories of her—the scent of her perfume lingering in the air, the mug she always used sitting untouched on the kitchen counter. He stared at it now, running his thumb over the rim, a pang of guilt twisting his stomach.
"I’m sorry," he whispered to the empty room, though he knew it was far too late.
His phone buzzed on the counter, jolting him from his thoughts. The screen lit up with an unknown number. Frowning, he picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Is this Mr. Norris?" a calm but urgent voice asked.
"Yes, this is Lando Norris," he replied, his chest tightening with unease.
"This is St. Thomas’ Hospital. You’re listed as the emergency contact for Y/N Y/L/N. She’s been in an accident."
The world seemed to tilt on its axis. "What? An accident? Is she okay?" His voice cracked as panic surged through him.
"She’s stable, but you need to come down to the hospital immediately."
Lando didn’t think twice. Grabbing his keys, he bolted out the door, his heart pounding in his chest. The drive to the hospital felt like an eternity, every possible worst-case scenario playing in his mind.
At the Hospital
He burst through the hospital doors, scanning for the reception desk. "Y/N Y/L/N," he said breathlessly. "She was in an accident. Where is she?"
The nurse directed him to a room, and he practically sprinted down the hall. When he reached her room, he froze in the doorway.
Y/N was lying in the hospital bed, her face pale and a bandage on her forehead. But she was awake, her eyes widening when they landed on him.
"Lando?" she asked, her voice faint.
"I’m here," he said, stepping inside. His voice trembled as he approached her. "God, Y/N, are you okay? They told me about the accident—"
"I’m fine," she interrupted gently, though her voice was tired. "Just a few bruises and stitches."
Before he could respond, a doctor walked in, holding a clipboard.
"Ah, Mr. Norris, I’m glad you’re here," the doctor said with a kind smile.
"Is she okay? What happened?" Lando asked, his panic bubbling to the surface again.
"She’s stable, and the baby is fine as well," the doctor replied casually.
Lando blinked, the words not registering at first. "The baby?"
Y/N closed her eyes, exhaling deeply.
The doctor, sensing the tension, quickly excused herself.
Lando stared at Y/N, his mind racing. "You’re pregnant?"
"Yes," she said quietly, her gaze fixed on the blanket covering her legs.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" he asked, his voice breaking.
She finally looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "Because I couldn’t do this alone with you half in and half out of our lives, Lando. I needed to know you’d be there. Not just physically, but really there. For me and for this baby. I didn’t want my child to feel like a second choice."
"Second choice?" he repeated, his voice filled with anguish. "Y/N, I’ve made so many mistakes, but loving you was never one of them. I was stupid, I was selfish, and I pushed you away because I didn’t know how to balance everything. But this? This is everything. You and our baby are everything."
Tears slipped down her cheeks as she listened to his words. "Lando, I can’t do this if I’m going to be fighting for your attention. Our child deserves better than that."
He moved closer, kneeling by her bed and taking her hand in his. "You won’t have to fight anymore, Y/N. I promise. I’ll be there for you and for our baby. I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. Just—just don’t shut me out."
Her lip trembled as she stared into his eyes, seeing the sincerity in them. "I need you to mean that, Lando. Not just for me, but for them."
"I do," he said firmly, his voice steady despite the tears pooling in his eyes. "I’ll be there for both of you, every step of the way."
After a long pause, she nodded, her grip on his hand tightening slightly. "Okay. But you get one chance, Lando. Don’t waste it."
"I won’t," he vowed, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.
For the first time in weeks, a sense of hope filled the room. It wasn’t going to be easy, but together, they could make it work.
time skip
Months later, Lando stood in a nursery he had painted himself, his hand resting on Y/N’s bump as they admired the crib he’d built.
"You really went all out, didn’t you?" she teased, smiling up at him.
"Nothing but the best for our baby," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
Y/N smiled softly, her heart full as she rested her head against his shoulder. Maybe they had started rocky, but in this moment, she knew they were exactly where they were meant to be.
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reidmania · 5 months ago
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THIS IS WHAT THE DRUGS ARE FOR | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series masterlist
summary; when no one else helps spencer’s addiction after being kidnapped — you do, and you offer him help as a recovering addict yourself
warnings; mentions of kidnapping, early seasons reid, around the time of his addiction to dilauded, mentions of suicide, mentions of being shot (pass tense during a case) mentions relapsing, addiction to opioids mentions of being addicted to oxycodone, drug use, overdoses, hurt x comfort, angst, not a lot of romance but its sweet, fem reader, normal criminal minds stuff. mentions of the team completely ignoring spencers addiction bc that was messed up.
an; honestly this was difficult to write as a recovering oxycodone addict, a little bit self indulgent.. whoopsies!! but in honour of 5 years sober 🤗🤗 (i am too open with my issues on social media) this is probably horrible
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‘This is what the drugs are for. Turn the lights off on the comedown I still get emotional, when I think about your old house. Hopefully, the high, works to change my mind’
You noticed quicker than you wanted to admit. It wasn’t like you could pinpoint a certain point, maybe it was when he turned back at you after standing up from the dead body of his kidnapper and you saw the way his pupils blew, something guilty behind them — maybe thats when your concern started.
You knew for certain when his focus was in and out daily. You knew everyone on the team had their suspicions, had the gut feeling that there was something more to the tiredness in Spencer’s eyes. You knew more than you wanted to admit.
Your hands twirled the pen on your fingers as your eyes stayed fixated on the male sitting in front of you, you watched as his hands came up to scratch the inside of his elbow. You knew the motion all too well, like muscle memory.
Your eyebrows furrowed as you heard Hotch ask a question to which only Spencer reid would know the answer to. You shifted your gaze slightly as you leant back in your chair, at his lack of response and focus.
It took Hotch saying his name a second time for his gaze to pull and a small apology to leave his lips. Hotch repeated the question and you watched as it took a minute too long for Spencer Reid’s all to long ramble to start about the detail.
Normally, someone would make a teasing comment about how Spencer had to think about it, but the tension stayed among the group as they all noticed the same thing — yet no one did anything about it.
You knew the feeling well, and it made your skin itch in anger.
Rossi handed out jobs, inviting you to stay back with Spencer to help with case work. You looked at Spencer noticed his eyes dropping, it made your chest ache.
Everyone else had left leaving you and Spencer in the conference room. Your gaze stayed fixated on him as his mind fell in and out of focus. You had to admit if you didn’t know Spencer Reid as well as you did, he hid it well.
“How long?” You muttered out, as your eyes pulled away from his to skim the case. You could feel his gaze on yours and you could practically feel the heavy breath that left his mouth.
His words came out snappy, but you knew he didn’t mean it. “What?”
You looked up at him again, seeing his gaze on yours, his pupils constricted and you could practically see the way his hand was twitching not to claw at the inside of his elbow.
You knew he knew what you meant, you knew he was playing dumb. You pulled the same thing for years. If he wanted to play the game you’d play, and you would outplay him every time. “How long have you been using?”
His face twisted up, he could’ve been an actor.
“Im not.” He pushed out. His voice betrayed his face, as it went an octave higher. For someone so smart you’d think he would know how to lie — but he didn’t, not well. Not to you. He could tell you didn’t believe him from the way your eyebrow quipped. “I don’t know why you’d think that.” He added, trying to sound convincing.
You hummed, “Your pupils are constricted for one. You aren’t focusing, you are all depressed. Oh and you’re slurring.. By the way” You pointed out with your pen in your hand directed towards him. You watched as his face fell for a split second. If you weren’t paying as much attention as you were you might’ve missed it.
But you were paying attention.
“Im just tired— and I have allergies ” He lied. It made you want to laugh at the familiarity of all his lies, the same ones you remember thinking you were so smart for thinking of in the moment so many years ago.
You let out an unconvinced ‘mhm’ as you nodded your head. You watched as it dawned in his eyes that he had been called out. You wondered if maybe he enjoyed the fact that no one pointed it out, until now, until you.
“I had allergies too, for a long time” You stated out simply, playing his game, outplaying him. Your goal here wasn’t to make him feel ashamed, in any way. It was purely to let him know that he wasn’t alone.
You remembered feeling so alone.
He spluttered slightly, his eyes widened the slightest bit. “What?” He breathed out, confused because he never would’ve guessed. You knew that. You knew the person you were now was nothing like the person you were a few years prior. You hid your addiction well but you were changed as a person, and you weren’t nearly the same person you were before the addiction.
You offered him a small smile, “I know an addict when I see one Reid, I know the addiction. I know your skin feels like it’s crawling right now and your head is probably spinning because you are going through withdrawals. I know all the lies, I used them all before” You said softly as you lean your forearms against the table; your eyes softened as your gaze stayed fixated on his.
You watched the words slowly process through his head. Slowly but surely he seemed to understand. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “How- How long have you known?” He asked, his voice small, evident how confronting this conversation was for him — but he needed it. He needed to know he had someone in his corner.
“I had my suspicions for a while. I wanted to be sure before I said anything..” You muttered out as you reached across the table to take his hand in yours comfortingly, “I was waiting— hoping someone else said something, I know I’m not your first choice of a person to help you through this — but I am here” You said softly.
You weren’t not close to Spencer. You were, close in age, had similar interests and you two got along well. The childish crush you had on him remained buried in between your ribcage — that was the thing about being an addict, it made you a good actor. You could act your way through any feeling.
He almost coughed at your words, his hand tightening around yours as you gave him a supportive squeeze. “Im- Thank you. I-“ His words seemed heavy on his tongue as his head shook. “I’m glad it’s you.” He said honestly.
You offered him a soft smile. You could almost see a question weighing on his mind, “What is it spence? What do you want to ask?” You prompted him, knowing his mind was properly almost complete fog at this point, overtaken by cravings.
“What- What were you addicted to? When?” He asked, eyebrows pushed upwards as if he was trying to figure out the timeline of your addiction, it caused an uncomfortable bubble in your chest.
“I was an oxy’s girl” You said, you knew it wasn’t funny but it seemed as joking was the only way to get through talking about this no matter the unsettling feeling it left in your stomach.
You exhaled heavily, “I started taking them in college after a surgery.. and well- I got addicted, obviously.” You ran your free hand through your hair as the memory dwindled in the back of your mind. Spencer’s hand squeezed your hand softly, making a half hearted tight lipped smile line your lips.
“I was clean when I first started here.” You said, fingers fidgeting. He listened with as much focus as he could with your words — you didn’t take offence to his half out of it mind. You couldn’t. “I relapsed after I got shot and they put me on them — no one knew about my addiction and I was too embarrassed to admit it to the doctors in front of the team, I relapsed once I got out of hospital.” You stated honestly.
You remembered it clear as day, after four years sober, the day you relapsed still stayed engraved into the walls of your mind freshly. You had been shot in the shoulder on a case, you were rushed to hospital and put on oxycodone and other pain medications immediately while unconscious. When you woke up and asked what they had given you, the team was standing around your bed so all you could do was nod, the relapse happened after that.
Spencer’s hand tightened on yours as his face pulled with guilt when he realised he didn’t notice. He opened his mouth to apologise but you cut him off, already knowing what he was going to say. “It’s okay.” You said, tightening your grasp on his hand mirroring his grasp on yours. “I mastered my lies by then, after years and years of lying to everyone around me.. I knew what worked and what did it.. I did it to myself” You spoke honestly.
He chewed on his lip as his gaze adverted to the table. You held his hand tightly as you felt it twitch slightly. You knew he wanted to scratch his elbow and you knew why. Your face softened all over again.
“It’s not worth it Spence. Trust me.” You said, voice heavy with honesty and you meant it more than words could explain. “You get mean, really mean, you lose yourself more and more everyday. Its not worth losing everyone around you, its not worth losing yourself” You gaze stayed on his face even when his eyes avoided yours.
You heard the shaky breath leave his lips, and then his hand left yours as his pinched his eyelids, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes as he squeezed them shut. It made your stomach ache.
“It- Its so hard” He said quietly. You didn’t think you had ever experienced heartbreak like hearing his voice break. Any sort of pain you felt in your life didn’t quite compare to seeing him fall apart from your words.
“I know- I know” You instantly stood up from your seat as you walked around the table towards him, he stood up as well and before you could do anything his hands were around your waist, pressing his body against yours and his head into the crevice of your neck. You arms wrapped around him without a second thought.
You could feel his tears against the skin of your neck, they were hot and thick. Your hand ran across his back gently. You always thought you’d know exactly what to do if this moment ever came to be — but you didn’t.
Words died in the back of your throat as all you could do was hold the boy in your arms as he let out the quietest soft sobs that made a gut wrenching feeling settle in your bones as goosebumps ran over your skin.
“I- I want to stop — I want to- How did you stop?” He said, wiping his face as he stood up straight, arms pulled back by his side. Your heart ached and your skin burned.
You shook your head, “Do you remember when I had to take emergency leave for family emergency?” You asked, eyes looking up into his that gleamed wet and dreary. It pulled on your heart strings and uncomfortable amount,
He nodded briefly, after he took a long moment to try to recall. You nodded back, a sigh leaving your lips. “I- Um.. I overdosed.” You stated, trying to speak stronger than your voice allowed you to. “I was in hospital for two weeks, connected to machines and wires — forced to speak to someone everyday until they deemed me healthy. I didn’t tell anyone- no one knows” You continued to shake your head.
“Do not let it get to that point Spencer — Shaking on the floor and literally frothing at the mouth, feeling so cold but not even functioning enough to know what being cold is, is not want you want. I know it feels good now — but you are going to kill yourself whether you want to or not if you keep taking it.” You spoke clearly, wanting your point to be perfectly clear. It was not worth it.
He held guilt behind fogged eyes, guilt that he didn’t notice, guilt that he almost lost you — literally and he had no idea. That you were alone during the lowest point of your life and he had no idea. He allowed your words to cloud his mind for a moment as they worked to overpower the cravings that were working to controlling his system.
“i- I don’t- Im sorry.” He stuttered over his words as he failed to think of anything better to say. Your face fell briefly as you wrapped your arms around him again.
“Im here? Okay. We will do this together day by day. I am here and I’m always going to be here Spence.” You comforted non the less.
He needed it and you needed him
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feline-insolitum · 1 year ago
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i was gonna put this on a reblog to this post but i decided it needed to be its own post so here we go
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LOOK AT HIM!!!
most other trainers will be super badass or cool whenever theyre terastallizing their pokemon. but kieran just kinda stands there devoid of life. he looks like hes not even there. almost like he's just... dissociating through the whole thing
you can also see eyebags that his teal mask model didn't have. he's been working himself to the absolute bone to get stronger. another character (i forget who) even says hes been sacrificing sleep just to get stronger. its very obviously been taking a toll on him
but looking back on the battle as a whole, this wasnt even the only time where he looked dull and lifeless. for the entire battle, when hes not being dramatic on purpose, he just looks so out of it
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you cant look at these pictures and tell me hes mentally present. the left picture isnt even timed to make him look like that. his expression is like that the entire time hes giving that line of dialogue.
and again, you can see visible eyebags!!!
i think part of it is that hes imagined the battle against the protagonist so many times since getting back from kitakami that it's feels like it's already happened to him, and he's just reliving a memory.
maybe another part is since hes gotten back, hes just been battling non stop when he has the chance. to him its just another battle. initiate, defeat, get stronger. rinse and repeat. its so repetitive that half the time he doesnt even know who hes battling. i feel like thats the case here, maybe sometimes he forgets hes even battling the person that he became this strong to defeat in the first place
i think why he did this to himself is because of more than "just getting stronger". after everything that happened in kitakami: gaining a friend, only for them to lie to and betray him about the thing he loves most, then for them to get closer with his sister, who would consistently shut him down, then on top of it all, ogerpon chose us, and even in trying to battle us for her, we beat him.
that is a lot to have happen to you in just a couple days, so i think part of the non stop training is him trying to cope. in trying to make up for "being too weak", hes also trying to escape reality and forget that those things even happened. he looks so out of it for the entire battle because he is. thats why he has such a reaction when we use ogerpon against him in battle. because by doing that, were reminding him
this is all part of why he freaks out so hard when we beat him. aside from his whole complex of getting stronger specifically to beat us, its because hes already imagined beating us so many times that to him, it already kinda happened in his sleep deprived mind. its because hes won battle after battle since getting back from kitakami, so after being in this rinse and repeat cycle of battling and winning, us losing causes him to finally snap out of it.
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after the protag wins, hes genuinely confused that he lost. but he knew how strong the protag was going into this. i think its because, for the majority of the battle, due to not being mentally present, he forgot he was battling us.
this, as well as how often he wouldve imagined him beating us, explains very well how surprised and shocked and panicked he is that he lost. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because it was just another battle, and he wins battles. "this wasnt supposed to happen" because he already imagined him beating us so many times that it had to have been real, right?
and because this monotonous cycle he was in that was actively draining him of energy was broken by us beating him, everything that he hadnt had the energy to process since training is hitting him like a truck now. ogerpon, the betrayal, how he kept losing to us, how he just lost to us right this moment, its all too much and he cant handle it. and so he crumples to the ground and has a mental breakdown
i didnt mean to turn this into a whole character analysis on kieran but i have a LOT of thoughts on his character and how hes written
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i-cant-sing · 6 months ago
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i was just minding my business like scrolling to find new fics to read since i was so so bored and while i was finding some delicious fics (ahem ahem: yandere big brother bakugou x little sister reader) ur post suddenly idk the word (lumitaw (its a filo word)) and i was screaming and immediately dropped what i was supposed to read to read yours 😭😭😭
i got the worst memory ever to exist because i keep forgetting their names but i think i'll grasp them once the next chapter is out (hopefully) but yeaaah!!! baris reminds me of abbas in a way but ig he's a bit more.. brute yk what im talking about????? ig he's ok..
OH! and i have a theory about the painting, y/n's face getting smudged maybe because baldwin or SALAUDDIN decided to smudged it to forget how they look due to heartbroken (prob not baldwin,, but i feel like salauddin would do that ??) i guess im getting married again 😔😔 i feel like im betraying my pookie salauddin 💔💔💔🙏🙏 BUT ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE SNOW!!!! AMAZING AS ALWAYS!! can't wait for the next one already!! 😭😭😭 i think i'll send more of my thoughts if something crosses over my mind (prob when im in the shower)
ooohh i like your theory(portrait pictures at the end). i like it a lot. expanding on it:
Baldwin would probably cause the painting to be smudged because he's kissing it, kissing your lips, drunk off his mind, tears streaming down his cheek as he spends hours sitting in front of it, talking to the painting as if u still exist, begging u to come back from heaven, even apologising for all he's done, just please- come back, angel...
Meanwhile Salauddin would probably be staring at your portrait angrily. He understands why you had to leave but.... you couldnt have told him where you were goinh? Do you not think he couldve protected you? He wouldve used his whole army, gathered Muslims from all around the world to protect you. Did you... did you not have the least bit faith in him? deep down, he knows u did this to prevent a war between him and baldwin but.... Salauddin wouldve gone to war for you. Happily. This wasnt your decision to make alone. Now, he stands in front of your portrait, he has it in his palace now, and he doesnt say voice it out like baldwin, but he has complaints. HE keeps them inside, mentally talking to you, telling you just how stupid you were for sacrificing yourself, for jumping off that stupid cliff. How u shouldve just- just asked him for help ONCE, and he wouldve fought until his last breath if it meant keeping u safe. In his mind, u sacrificed yourself to protect Baldwin from murdering innocent muslims or anyone else u wouldve seeked help from.
And now? All Salauddin can do is pray for you. He wakes up late into the night and sits on the prayer mat, making dua for you for hours, reading Quran for you, has animals slaughtered on eid on your behalf, even doing charity and hajj (pilgrimage) on your behalf, just so that you can have more good deeds in your name. He still has the chess board u gifted him, but he's stopped playing chess. He never played the game again, it was only a painful reminder of you. The one person who he could never beat.
As for your painting, why it was smudged? Salauddin didnt want anyone to see your beauty, thats why he kept the portrait hidden in his room, but then he feared that one day when he's not around anymore, someone will see you. So, he used a rag soaked in turpentine to smudge your face, but couldnt do more than just the bottom half of your face. He thought that was fine, after all, thats how u did often appear when you were around, wearing a niqaab, a veil that covered your face.
Now that he looks at your eyes, he realises his mistake. He heard the wise tell him-
"Eyes are the windows to the soul."
He now knows it to be true.
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This is what I think the portraits look like:
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Notice that this is the earrings Salauddin gifted Y/n when she was in the market with him:
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How Baldwin's been:
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mattsfavouritewhore · 2 months ago
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Just Go - Chris Sturniolo
A/N: I heard you guys and i'm working on a part 2 for why her!! Thank you so so much for the support and i'll do the best i can! If you have any suggestions whatsoever don't be afraid to send them through x
Warnings: Stalking, Forceful actions (not from chris), angst, flirting, mentions of sex
Summary: When Chris saving you from a perv turns into you spending the night with him.
You regretted wearing a tiny red dress. What you thought would be a night of fun, flirting and potentially going home with a hot guy turned into you trying to push this man away from you. He'd been following you all night, and once you left your friends to go to the bathroom he trapped you between the wall and tried to force himself on you. Moving your head, pushing him away and telling him to fuck off did nothing but push his need for you even further.
Scanning the hallway, no one was around.. Your hearts drumming in your ears, praying for someone to just walk around the corner and sees your struggling. "I don't want to fuck you dude! go away!" One last push and yet all he did was smirk at you, "thats why i want you." He was obviously under the influence but that didn't excuse his actions. "Hey!" Your head shoots to the direction to the voice... one you recognised very well. "She said fuck off didn't she?!" Chris. Thank Fuck.
The guy scoffs, "This your girl? she was begging for it." Chris walks closer "Yeah it doesn't sound like it. Get off her." He was furious, something you'd never seen before.. almost protective? or maybe he was jealous, you couldn't tell. The guy backs off as he watches Chris clench his fists "My bad man, she just looks so edible in that dress" You physically cringe at his comment before watching him walk off. "I think it's time for you to go home." Chris was still mad but not at you. "Thank you so much, you really did just save me."
His hand wraps around your waist possessively "You're not leaving my site." All you can do is nod.. not expecting him to do something like that. Your friendship with Chris has always been friendly, although you've always wanted more from him you never thought he'd feel that way about you. As you guys make your way back to your friends, his hand doesn't leave your waist... it was lowkey turning you on. "Chris i want to stay for a little bit longer." You didn't think he'd allow that.. and deep down you were praying he'd just take you home "Fine, but only for a little bit and you're sitting with me." You nod and sit next to him.
I think it was obvious when you were ready to go home because Chris's hand slowly shuffled to your thigh caressing it a bit, you'd never seen such a soft side from him before and you loved it, you moved your head to his shoulder to which he quickly turned around "It's time to go."
You and Chris waited out the front for an Uber (because he can't drive.) "Thanks for getting me an Uber" "Getting you an Uber? You're coming home with me." You didn't expect Chris to say that. "Why? Why would I come home with you?" He rolls his eyes obviously still a bit upset about the earlier interaction, "I said I wasn't leaving you out of my site."
You get to the triplets house. The car ride was quiet, all you could think about was Chris's protectiveness over you, trying not to overthink it as something more than him being a good friend. "Go take a shower and I'll leave some clothes out" He was now a bit more calm and sincere towards you. All you did was nod, the memories of the night flooding through you as you step in to the shower, You were almost stolen of a hidden innocence, no one knew you were still a virgin but that could've all changed tonight and the thought of that made you shake.
Calming yourself down you step out of the shower, Chris had left clothes on the counter and you put them on slowly walking out, Chris looks up and sees you in all sorts of shock and worry. "Hey." He quickly walks up to you. "You're here with me now, it's okay, he'll never touch you again." Tears swell your eyes as he pulls you in for a hug. "You're staying with me tonight. I need to know you're safe."
He moves you to his bed as he cuddles against you, "Chris.. can i tell you something?" He moves strands of hair out of your face before caressing you cheek for a moment before pulling away, "Of course, you can tell me anything." You sigh. "I'm still a virgin." He smiled softly at you "That's cute. Word of advice, lose it when you're ready. Don't push it with a person you don't like." You smiled back "Yeah i kinda already have someone in mind" His smile falters for a second but you pretend you didn't see it. Maybe his cheeks just hurt from smiling so much.. "Who?" him. "Just someone from work."
He nods, "We should go to sleep now, its late" You didn't realise how tired you were until he said that "okay" You cuddled a bit closer to him, not realising how close you guys really were.
It's quiet for a while but right before you drift off to sleep he says something. "I wish you want me the way i want you."
A/N: Okay depending on how you guys like this one i might have to make multiple parts. I need to start writing short reads other wise i'm gonna lose track but lmk what you guys think!!
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mintiicinnamonii · 5 months ago
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Hi, I have a request, how about an (Amnesia rules) one-shot with Macaque and his female S/O?
Like macaque somehow winds up with amnesia (memories going back to the time of the brother hood maybe?) and once he catches sight of his wife he’s immediately smitten and starts flirting and trying to court her the entire time as everyone tries to figure out how to fix him? Please and thank you 🙏🏻
notes: this is my first oneshot, apologies! i went for a more clingy macaque approach, since he was way shyer during the brotherhood era. also, since the brotherhood era was before macaque was betrayed and started to develop his abandonment issues, he was probably way more affectionate, thus this. so now yall get clingy cat macaque and his wife
Amnesia Rules Macaque
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“What do you mean, ‘he’s looking for me???’” You asked through the phone, tapping your foot on the floor, eyebrows furrowed. MK was on the other end, hastily explaining. “I MEAN that we woke him up while he was mystic monkey meditating and now he doesn’t remember us, hates the Monkey King-“ You sighed. “Doesn’t he already hate him??” Silence. “Thats besides the point! He’s been looking for you for AGES, We had to tie him up so he wouldn’t escape!”
You groaned. “I’ll be right there.”
When you walked into Pigsy’s Noodles, out of all the things you thought could happen, you did not expect this. Macaque was clinging onto you like a koala, hissing at anyone who went 50 feet close to you. “So you’re telling me, that Macaque lost his memories??” You asked, crossing your legs as Macaque nuzzled your neck. “Yeah, basically..” MK groaned. Wukong, who was hiding behind the counter as to not get mauled to his impossible death by Macaque, peeked his head out. “Geez, I forgot how annoying Macaque was back then-“ He shut himself up as Macaque growled at him. “Hey, no growling.” You scolded, petting Macaque’s head. The monkey purred, leaning into your touch. “You’re great with your hands~” He chuckled as you went bright red. “So.. how do we get him back to normal??” Sandy raised a brow, looking at the smitten monkey. Everyone in the room looked directly at Tang, who was eating his noodles without a care. “What? Why are you all looking at me?” Tang crossed his arms as Pigsy facepalmed himself. “Tang, you KNOW WHY! We need to get Macaque back to normal!” 
Wukong nodded from his hiding spot. “Yeah! Can we go back to grumpy Macaque and not have a Macaque thats trying to maul me 24/7, Jangles? PLEASE???” You shrugged. “I dunno.. I like cuddly Macaque. Can we keep him like this?” You kissed Macaque’s forehead as he purred, hugging you tighter. Your heart melted; it was if you were watching a little cat. A cat so adorable you couldn’t help but take a picture. For blackmail. Totally not because you thought it was cute. 
Tang hummed. “I mean.. if this works the same way it did when Monkey King lost his memories.. we just gotta crush him with a rock.”
Your eyes widened as you choked on your spit. “CRUSH HIM WITH A ROCK?! THE HELL YOU MEAN ‘CRUSH HIM WITH A ROCK?!” Macaque noticed your anger, looking up at you. “Starlight? Everything okay?” You snapped out of your rage instantly, glancing at Macaque. “I’m fine Mac. No need to worry.” You squeezed his hand and kissed his cheek, causing a bit of pink to creep up his face. Macaque, in an attempt to hide this, buried his face in your chest. 
“Any blunt force will do, cause we aren’t exactly in a place where giant rocks are right now..” Tang said, fixing his glasses. “So what do we do then? Keep him like this?!” Pigsy asked, crossing his arms. “Please do.” You chimed in. Suddenly, Mei gasped. “I have a great idea.”
“WHY DID I HAVE TO BE THE BAIT???” Wukong screamed as he ran through Flower Fruit Mountain. Sandy, Tang, Pigsy, MK, Mei, and you watched as Macaque chased a screaming Wukong down. “DON’T WORRY MONKEY KING! YOU GOT THIS!” MK yelled, giving him a thumbs up. “Okay.. almost there..” Mei watched carefully. As Macaque chased Wukong, he got closer and closer to the cliff where they all were. “NOW!” 
Sandy quickly pushed a beige boulder off the cliff, crushing Macaque with it. You were just standing there, flabbergasted as your best friends casually crushed your husband with a boulder like it was nothing. Sandy pat your shoulder in consolation as you stood there. Wukong sighed in relief. “Thank god its over-“ As Macaque stirred, Wukong yelped, summoning his cloud and flying away instantly. You on the other hand, ran right up to him. “Hun?? Macaque??” You asked frantically. Macaque got up, groaning as he rubbed his head. He looked over at you with those gorgeous amber eyes. “Hey, gem..” He smiled. Suddenly, you hugged him tightly, peppering his face in kisses. “Oh thank GOD you’re back-“ Macaque blinked, confused til he looked up to see the others on the cliff, peering down and awwing at the sight. “Ah. I see..” He sighed, looking back down at you and your worried face. He chuckled. “Don’t worry, plum..” He kissed your forehead. “Nothing can make me forget my love for you.”
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axeoverblade · 1 year ago
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THIS WITH MILES AND RIO OMG
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8e2jNJ6/
Can she come over?
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Miles(s) Morales x fem! Reader
Synopsis! After seeing a Tiktok on your for you page, you persuaded your boyfriend to do it with you.
MASTERLIST
Genre: Fluff, pre established relationship, slight age up so it makes sense that they’re in a car
Warnings: none!
Word count: .8k
Authors comment: This was so cute and fun to write, hopefully this was what you were asking. Didn’t know which Miles you wanted so suprise it’s both! Small blurbs. Enjoy <3
Do not copy! All rights reserved to ©axeoverblade
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EARTH 1610!MILES
“Baby no I’m not doing that!” Miles whined. “Cmon!! It’s just a little jokey-joke!” You lightly pushed his shoulder, trying to persuade him for the umpteenth time. He looked at you and sighed, finally caving in, “you're so lucky I love you”. Giggling, you urged him to call his mom quicker, setting up your camera on the dashboard of the car to record.
“I’m blaming this on you” he said, phone ringing as he looked at you. “I’m willing to accept the consequences” you smiled.
“Yes hijo?” His mother said, you smiled wider, covering your mouth with your hand. “Hola mami” “Do u need something? Oh! Can you tell y/n she left her pajamas so I washed em’ for her.” “oh uh,” he looked at you, “I’m not with her, when I see her I’ll say something. What are you doing right now?” “Mmm nothing worth talking about, por que? Is something wrong?” She asked, becoming more concerned towards the end of her sentence. “Nah nothin’s wrong” Miles paused, “can I bring a girl over?” He winced, trying to stop his voice from cracking. “Que? I thought you said you weren’t with y/n? You don’t have to ask to bring her over anymore-” “uh actually it’s not her”
The phone went silent, “….eh?”, you stifled a laugh, looking at miles who was holding in a laugh himself. “It’s not her mami, ‘s another girl.” “So, what I’m hearing is,” she paused, taking a moment to process, “you want some random girl over that’s not y/n? Why?” “Oh well you know, I’m hanging out with her right now and she wants to come over” “does y/n know about this?” “Uhm nah, this girl is kinda..” Miles trailed off, insinuating he was hiding her from you. “Miles te lo juro que te asesinaré con mis propias manos.” you couldn’t hold it in anymore, throwing your head back as you cackled. Miles' eyes widened at your break of character as he laughed too, quickly muting himself, “You think this is funny Miles? Was that her laughing?” Rio yelled quickly, had you not been used to her voice you wouldn’t have understood what she said with how fast the words left her mouth. Miles unmuted himself, knowing if he didn’t stop the prank now he would get in serious trouble. “Cálmate mami, we’re kidding it’s a joke!”
“Hi Mrs.Morales!” You choked out through a laugh. “Ay-Y/n is that you?” “Yes ma’am” you giggled. Rio mumbled something under her breath, “you two play too much. I’ll see you both for dinner, don't be late.” With that she hung up. You looked at Miles who was shaking his head at you, “mi princesa, you’re gonna get me killed.” You giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, grabbing your phone off the dashboard and stopping the recording, “maybe thats my goal.”.
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EARTH 42!MILES
“Baby Im not doing it, do you know how pissed she’s gonna be?” He looked at you skeptically. You set up your camera on the dashboard, pressing record. “Cmon querido it’s for memories” he sighed looking at your pleading expression. He rolled his eyes, “you owe me” you smiled wide, happy he finally agreed after a hefty amount of convincing. He dialed his mother, staring at you while it rang.
“Yes Hijo?” Ríos voice spoke through the phone speaker. “Hola mama, whatchu’ doin��?” “Uhm I’m on a five minutó break at the hospital, por que?” “Uhh nothin much, so I’m wit’ a girl n’ she wants to come over to the house, I was just letting you know-” “eh? Where's y/n? Is she already there or something?” You smiled. “Uh nah, just me n’ the girl.” “…Dónde está y/n?” “Uh” he looked at you for a split second, “I don’t know.” “Does she know this girl is coming over?” “Nah and I’m keeping it that way” Miles said, hinting something was going on with this mystery girl. “Miles, tu traes esa nena a casa y te lo juro.", you covered your mouth holding in a laugh, looking at Miles. He shook his head, “well I mean she’s kinda already with me,” “Is her name y/n” “que? no i just said it’s not y/n-” “then she can’t come over. I see you with another girl near our property and it’s not ending well for either of you, comprende?” You couldn’t hold it in any longer, letting out the laugh you had been keeping.
“Ella se acaba de reír de? Miles Morales-" “Mama we kid’, y/n is wit’ me. it’s a joke” he quickly cut her off before she could begin her rant. “Sorry Mrs.Morales” you said through a fit of giggles. “Cariño don’t do that, you had me worried.” She spoke to you through the phone.“Sorry mama” you replied using the nickname developed for Rio throughout your relationship with Miles. She clicked her teeth, “I’m gonna tell your ma on you little girl, eres malo.”. You let out a small laugh and apologized, saying your goodbyes so she could get back to work. You grabbed your phone off the dashboard stopping the recording, giving Miles a quick kiss on the cheek. “So about what you owe me” he said looking at you suggestively. You laughed, “you’re gross”
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©axeoverblade
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