#so maybe just like... 15 more minutes
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Wgen did that happen...
#I should probably go to bed soon!#ahh but being up this late is the only time I get any peace recently..#so maybe just like... 15 more minutes#yappin'
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I know for a fact I've talked about the golden records, but I don't care because here is a sample of some of my favourite greetings on those discs
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There is something so vulnerable, precious, and human about sending up pieces of our hearts into space. Even when we know that there may not be anybody out there to hear us, we are still whispering to whomever might listen how much we love them, how much we want to connect. No matter how small the chance is, we're taking it to say that love is real, that we are real.
How is that not something to be in awe over?
#positivity#golden record#though it's been forty-seven years since launch both voyagers have just barely left our solar system#they are between 12-15 BILLION miles away from us#that's 20-24 BILLION kilometers away#i cant go to the club i need to cry uncontrollably about this#love is real#this is why i can never seriously consider apathy to be a poignant commentary about human nature#we never HAD to include this stuff - evidence of our love to completely inconceivable peoples#in fact if we learned anything from scifi maybe it would have been better for us not to say anything at all - to lead other life RIGHT TO US#but we couldn't shut up for five minutes to not say how much we love them and our planet and how enthusiastic we were that we MIGHT be found#we couldn't stop our hand from putting in *so much* effort for the 0.000000001% chance there's Something out there...#...for the chance that that 'something' will even be ABLE to retrieve AND understand our message of love#we absolutely need more golden records <3#to love something without even knowing anything about it .... there's nothing like that in the world#because i love whatever's out there. i think about them so often. i'll unironically pray for their health and safety#do they eat enough? do they look at the stars with wonder too? what's it like to breathe their air? do they know they're loved?
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gabe doodle
#ultrakill#rev's stuff#eye strain#maybe? just in case. seems possible.#still fuckin around with bright colors as you can see#decided to mess around with a more limited range of colors for this one. primarily yellow/orange with tiny bits of green/blue as highlights#why isn’t he wearing armor? i didn’t feel like drawing it. why is he blushing? i think he's cute.#i like how the gold came out. i thought i would have trouble making it look metallic but it was actually not too bad.#gabriel ultrakill#i did this in like 15 minutes. but i like how it looks so i'm posting it anyway#100
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Another little sketch of this politely-speaking robot that is not up to anything malicious. It's very likely his usual formalities, but Juno was also talking to a higher-ranking Unit than him that he ends up apologizing twice. It makes me wonder what the relations, however much there was, between him and Trigger could've been like.
. . . And also, I was focused on Juno's sweet little face and mouth shape again. When Juno is not smiling, his mouth still appears very soft in a way that makes me want to gently press a finger to it.
#yes I know at some point I will have gone through every single little frame of juno's existence#but that's how it is when he is alive for less than 15 minutes and opens his eyes for only 3 seconds#but as always I shall work with what is present and cherish it#so I'm trying to put these thought doodles out incrementally so as not to make my brain explode from thinking too hard#I've said all this before (in tags) but I'm still thinking very much about it: a particular softness in an otherwise hard-n-cold body#this on top of the marriage-like motif I spoke of previously seems to go together too (...'no'? oh well to me it does)#I'd give juno a bouquet too if his hands could hold them but it would probably just die#doodle-daas#megaman legends#rockman dash#megaman juno#rockman juno#. . . oh yeah my other point.#in nxc juno also referred to volnutt (fan-translated) as 'lord' a few times which I believe they meant to translate '-sama'?#for clarification I have not checked the JP scripts for that game or legends so I don't know if juno uses this by default#(and he's also literally only talked to (1) person in legends so--)#if my presumptions are true#this could be how juno-- being a 3rd class unit and all-- treats volnutt or rather trigger#he knows of trigger's status and skill level along with his proximity in the chain of command to sera so it'd make sense#and hence why I chose to use 'master' in my comics instead#could I be wrong? maybe. who knows.#but it does make my brain think very hard which is fun :)#because I have even more layers to dig through that aren't just volnutt's (how fun! *my room continues to fill with burning smoke*)
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deranged post-canon farleigh speculation
so. archie madekwe said something that makes me question a lot of the other post-canon speculation (often quickstart dynamic post-canon fics, speculation, etc.). Basically, he was talking about how tired Farleigh was getting, in the point in time that the movie is set. This is depicted through his confrontation with Felix, which Archie confirmed was the first conversation Farleigh has had with the cattons about the issue of bias.
a review by hilton als briefly touched on farleigh's possible future, as well. it was a very negative and... honestly understandable idea of what farleigh would grow up to become. aka, someone who exploited and tokenized their race for "brownie points," pun not intended. i see a lot of people crafting stories of farleigh finding different ways to rejoin the ultra-rich class. and i kinda wanna say that i... don't like that. here's an anecdote: my cousin and i had a conversation about his experience moving from a white-dominated, suburban environment. he argues that although racism is still prevalent where he now lives, the racism he experienced in his hometown was so painfully, covertly delivered. it's this sort of "could you just call me a slur or something" mentality.
although farleigh is terrified of change, although farleigh is terrified of losing what he believes is an accommodation for his marginalization (it isn't; you can't buy your way out of racism), although farleigh learned to be materialistic through the ways in which he was raised, although farleigh is constantly running away from something--i think he was reaching a point of genuine hatred for the ways in which racism is delivered to him in this environment. i would also go insane. so freakishly insane. i think his conversation with felix made him understand that maybe the cattons will never even try to change. that the cattons couldn't even acknowledge the problem in the first place. that you can't really win, with people like the cattons. it's always a game of when, and never if. when will they finally, politely discard me?
this leaves a couple options. the first, farleigh learns to be financially independent and very much successful. he would never rely on other people again, especially not white people. this leaves room for hilton als' interpretation, but the fact that farleigh was cognizant of and willing to mention racial bias to felix is evidence for me to assume that farleigh is beyond belittling himself like that. farleigh already experienced so much shame from catering towards the cattons and their whiteness... i don't think he'd keep going with that. not with the way it ended. not after he had the horrible wake-up call that was both his cousins dying. so, maybe farleigh does find his way back to wealth. maybe through fashion, through modeling like his mother, through another form of art, through business, whatever.
the other option is that farleigh just... doesn't acquire that level or even close to that level of wealth again. i kinda like this idea. i kinda like imagining farleigh in a city flat or smaller suburban house, finding a significant other and probably never ever having kids. that, of course, still leaves room for farleigh to go and brutalize oliver out of saltburn. but i'd like to think he wouldn't take saltburn back. as i've said before, farleigh was never greedy. he never wanted to replace or succeed the cattons, nor did he want any form of dominance over them. to be their equal, yes. to be seen and heard and given attention, yes. but never did he play his games to knock felix or venetia down. i feel like farleigh would be the "eat the rich" that saltburn didn't have. not in the corny way, because farleigh is no robin hood, nor is he an innocent and selfless person.
my ideal "sequel" type situation would be farleigh returning to saltburn after living comfortably and humbly for the last 20 years. he's not here out of moral obligation. he's not here to steal back the catton wealth. he's here selfishly, and out of burning hatred. he's here because oliver stole any sense of closure farleigh could've ever had. he's here because oliver never gave farleigh the opportunity to forgive his family, nor to mourn them, nor to visit those memories, nor to make new ones. farleigh is here to wreck oliver's shit. it's not healthy, it's not pretty, it's not clean. i'd imagine 40-year-old farleigh, having matured, returning to saltburn and regressing to the same games he always used to play. lying, people pleasing, pretending, sex, drugs, sass, etc. ahhh. my ideal sequel. a man who found peace without closure and finds closure through a significant lack of peace. and, also, oliver dead as hell.
#farleigh start#i have class in 6 hours and i need sleep#saltburn#i threw this down in 15 minutes#it's not good and is in fact deranged#do u guys get me tho#i'm sure if emerald fennell were to write this sequel then maybe the quickstarters would b right#but i kinda hope she would maybe like#she does talk about quickstart as like a#idek#i love emerald#but i have Thoughts on this movie#and this character.#and these fans.#and arghgdjflds#i just want oliver to be CRUSHED#LIKE A WORM#i wouldn't care if emerald added in the hate sex that you freaks so DESPERATELY crave#like I KNOW I KNOW THEY'RE HOT??#whateverrrr i care more about angst#guys angst mmmmmmmmmm#being asexual is so funny sometimes#i feel like i'm watching penguins in their little enclosure#deprived of freedom#sliding around and feral and slapping each other because they're in an enclosure#i'm so tired help me#i just mean that#you guys are funny like i cannot imagine living life with this craving that u guys r being crushed by#“cmon guys where is the farleigh x reader fanfiction cmon guys” like hello? hello hi?#i'm flipping the script actually
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Who needs drugs when you have graphics programming
#i was almost late to work cuz i squeezed in like 15 minutes this morning#but i was like#just five more minutes#i dont know why its so exciting because its arguably less interesting than regular game dev#maybe its cuz ive been doing game dev for so long#the only other new technology ive learned is web dev and i dislike web dev#oh well im hooked#triangles got me by the balls#codeblr#progblr#gamedev#programming
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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🧍♀️ the karaoke event I've been excited about all week is from 8-11 and we're supposed to have a severe snowstorm from 6pm-9am
#im going to keep an eye on the weather i think#i wanna go but I also don't want to be an idiot#we're supposed to get 10 inches which is way more than the previous snow we've had#anddddd the event is like a half hour away from my apartment#BUT only 15 minutes away from my parents house so i guess if i go and the roads get awful i could just stay with them maybe#i can't tell if im being a weenie and self sabotaging by considering canceling over the weather#or if its a justified safety concern#things to note: i am good at driving in the snow#my car has awd#and the route to this place is all main roads so they'll be heavily salted#but also ill have to park on the street and if it snows enough that they have to plow that will for sure be an issue#ALSO i have a book club meeting tomorrow planned with the same people i have plans to go to karaoke with soooo#im overthinking this. as you can probably tell#julia speaks
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They should've had Vi and J/nx at least try to register where Ekk/o was at in all that mess.
#'there was no time!!' well#that's a netf/x probleM; it only made since for them to try and take care of each other; ekko was in that place BECAUSE he was trying to#sense*** (i swear i know how to spell lmao)#help jnx; one thing that irks me about the writing is how one sided they can be with relationships sometimes....#well it's is a netf/ix and writers problem probably#but idk man; he did a lot for those two sisters and i feel like we just needed a Glimpse of it beinf returned#'it was implied!!' idC; i want to see it even if it is just a few seconds 😤#tbh i haven't watched in a minute so maybe they did and i just didn't see it idk#I'm just saying like 1 more ep or even like 15 more minutes to the finale would've done wonders
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patron saint of dirt and climbing trees!!
i would be honored to be a patron of the dirt
#last spring i climbed a tree and got stuck in it for like 10-15 minutes. maybe 20#i couldn’t figure out how to get down without falling#(this was a stupid thing to do in the first place but i will do more things like this)#and a friend was like. waiting on me to get out of the tree like at one point we were discussing like. how breakable my legs are#which was so embarrassing but i was finding it funny in a way i think was annoying (jester-like) of me#and i just leapt down and he ground running#*hit#after getting myself as low as possible as i could confidently get#and then got a crazy adrenaline high from the whole thing#and then was real squirrelly#for the next 15 minutes
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What if you could exist as nonbinary in the world
#like i know i can but#i cant be out at work thats just making my social life 10x harder for almost no benefit#i cant go to school anymore i hate it there#and i couldnt really even be out at school because i hate telling people my pronouns#i have a masc name and i like my name but it means people dont assume im nb#and i hate hate hate telling people otherwise#i know there are coworkers i could come out to but#i feel alone#and i need to wake up at some point#which is a whole other thing that i cant put into words but is a thing i need to do#thats what my whole album is about#and ive been working on that thing since march and its driving me crazy#i felt so relieved to think about kirbtober and not that and now its back#i feel like I've found all the pieces and put them together only to not slot in the last one#and then just walk away and let people take whats left#maybe I'm depressed idk#i dont think so#i feel like im dreaming#like i have occasional moments of lucidity separated by days of feleing jaded#making music every day might not help?#but i want to do this#its less so a workload thing#i can make a daily song in 15 minutes to an hour#and be fine with it#but i want it to be good#starflung's comments on the song i made for her keep me going#and ant texting me in the middle of the night (or their day idk) that my music is good#feeling terrible that i want more and more attention#but like#oh okay im out of tags vent post over i guess
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okay honestly. and i promise i will stop thinking about the deeply mediocre film argylle after this. but people have been talking about how confusing and how meta it is. but it isn't even that weird or meta????? like grow up! watch weirder movies
#like it's a movie where the plot deeply doesn't matter and you forget instantly upon leaving the theater which makes it kind of hard to des#cribe but that's not because it's overly complicated or meta or 4th wall breaking? like. and sorry to spoil argylle. lol.#woman is spy and steals incriminating information. woman is conflicted and plays both sides of conflict. woman hides information and then#gets captured. woman gets brainwashed into forgetting she's a spy and thinking she's a spy novelist. woman writes novels with memories of h#her past life which the spy agency hopes will reveal where she (spy) hid the info. action movie shenanigans happen. henry cavill is there.#like. there was a lot of eye contact with the camera in the first 15 minutes of the movie so i thought maybe they were going to directly#address the audience at some point but that never happened. and it never broke the 4th wall or really got meta at all??#henry cavill shows up at the end which maybe implies that there is also a guy in the world who is also agent argylle (and is not just her r#repressed memories but could also just be a fun easter egg to end the movie. and there's a midcredits scene (ben daniels) that ties it into#the kingsmen universe. but that's it!#you people would hurl if you saw the meta shit i was into#anyways again. this is the anyone has ever thought about the movie argylle. a movie i think i liked more than most people but is deeply mid#isabel.txt#sorry i saw the shakespeare fourth wall post and started thinking about this again.
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about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)
for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge
#anon PLEASE i am the nosiest person in the world i understand i want to know everything. ever. however#because i have no evidence and don’t want to spread unfounded rumors i will state for the jury i am not a gossip blog#& anything i say should be taken with a grain of salt. or a vsco deep dive & also maybe a dig into the flyers media archives. wrt UNfounded#but i will gossip in your dms because it’s a vital method of communication and important for community building.#also i’m like 95% sure i just osmosed the fact that morgan and his girlfriend broke up sometime earlier in the hockey season from someone#else (probably flyerskay) and accepted it at face value like absolutely i’d trust kay with my life. she would never lie to me and therefore#i can’t be lying to you. i can’t remember morgan’s gf’s name tho but i can like. vividly remember her artsy possessive vsco photos 😭 help#that man posts more about tom petty than he does anyone else in his life besides joel so really how would we know if hes posted her less#the answer is we wouldn’t and i want to say her name is katie SO bad but i know that’s tyson’s gf it’s like. victoria or stacie or somethin#& i want to see if SHE deleted all her vsco pictures of him bc that’s how we’d know they broke up. frosty stop following so many girls#i want to try and find her and see (she’s a model and she was public and had her vsco linked so all of this is public info btw.)#ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA OANDJRIWNDHOWHDB IT IS 1:38 AM AND I HAVE JUST MANAGED. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD ANON HOLD ON#BUCKLE YOURSELF THE FUCK IN FOR AN ANSWER YOU DID NOT ASK FOR BECAUSE THIS IS A R I D E AND I NEED TO YELL ABOUT IT I CAN’T MY GOD I CANNOT#B R E A T H E i’m about to start crying again but the backstory is that. i have had a fic that i have been working on for literal years.#my version history says March 15 2021 and it started in my notes app about 3000 words before that and it’s based off of a tweet i thought#calla had quoted and just said ‘Joel’ about but in my notes i never#saved the actual tweet and many times throughout the years i have gone back and advanced searched every version of joel and joelle and bee#and behavior on calla’s blog that i could possibly think of and just assumed like. it must’ve gotten deleted or the account suspended and i#could never remember the wording well enough to just google it but believe me i tried and put in every variation. never found it in 4 years#i try periodically. fast forward to about twenty minutes ago i am looking through kay’s twitter and searching vsco because i SWEAR she has#the picture of frosty’s gf’s fingernail marks in the back of frosty’s shoulders i am talking about / I can’t find her vsco linked anywhere#but i’m like ok. search up a couple other things and think about who might have it and on a WHIM look up vsco in ash notthequiettype’s acct#no results okay whatever i think about what else could maybe pull it up for me so I have SOMETHING for you. I search frosty. I scroll. GUES#WHAT I FUCKING FIND FROM NOVEMBER 13TH 2020 it is THE FANTASTIC TWEET THAT SPAWNED 16K OF NOTES & FIC & A SPREADSHEET OF JOEL’S CLASSES#AND I NEVER WOULD’VE FOUND IT AGAIN IF NOT FOR THIS!!! LOSING IT!!! by it I mean my mind and my sleep schedule!!! it’s 2AM now good night!!#liv in the replies#morgan frost#philadephia flyers
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okay im definitely going to be away from home when sxs gens comes out i need to figure out how im going to deal with this
#its not the end of the world if i cant play it immediately i guess (though it will be painful)#im mostly concerned about pre order bonuses and how exactly i should pre order the game that sort of thing#doesnt help that im torn between physical and digital. like im probably gonna pick physical#because i hate spending more than like 15 dollars on a digital game. unless its digital only.#but theres pros and cons to both wwhich makes me worry about making the wrong choice ..#like having to miss out on stuff like an entire stage just because i dont wanna buy digital deluxe really sucks....#well digital players getting to play early isnt something i have to take into account at least since i wont be able to play anyway#switch players are excluded from playing early for some reason and im not gonna have access to my xbox because im gonna be gone#and getting it on my laptop is just out of the question entirely i dont think itd be able to handle a game like that#so . doesnt matter.#but i still have to think about the pre order bonuses . and how im gonna get the game exactly. because i really want geralds journal </3#if i go physical i can get a friend to pick it up i guess???#or maybe on my trip i can pre order it at the last minute at a store thats in the area and then go pick it up when i have the time#idkkk i have a few months to figure this out still so i dont have to rush into coming up wiht a plan but im still thinking about it
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thinking about this guy that would spam us with pictures of him pissing on his phone camera, saying that he's "pissing on us pissing on us pissing on us". after the first encounter i wouldn't even bat an eye closing his tickets. like was i supposed to be fazed by that? he's pissing on his phone
#this post makes more sense if i let you know that i just spent 15 minutes pacing around#my apartment writing an imaginary tumblr post about how i feel kinda bad when i start sounding like an ass talking to support#cause i also work in tech support#but also i consider us to be a pretty good support team#so when i go to other websites' tech support and can clearly tell from their answers#that they're just kicking dicks and not even reading the messages/emails#i just get annoyed#to be clear i also have coworkers like that and i get annoyed with them as well#maybe i'm just a person who gets annoyed#anyway i kept thinking about how people being asses to us don't even worry me that much#most of the time#and that's how i remembered about this guy#a funny fella#made some of our days#chattering
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had the second worst great clips visit of my life today but thank fucking gd my hair turned out Okay despite the other horrors
#there are 2 in relatively close proximity to me & the one I like more had like 90 minute wait times#as opposed to 15 at the other place#and I knew it would be awkward & bad bc it always is at that location no matter who the stylist is#And Then It Was#stylist repeatedly misgendered me to her coworker who was giving some other guy almost an identical haircut to mine#said coworker did too despite me checking With My Name Which Is Marcus#& then she accidentally nicked my ear w the clippers#& I think she was worried abt doing it to the other ear so I had to trim around it a little when I got home#very stilted conversation which was mostly my fault and isn’t a crime#but she kept telling me I should try a specific style after she’d already started#& I was just like oh haha maybe next time. like three times over the course of 20 minutes or w/e it was#and ALSO sometimes the great clips employees do not really help you get cleaned off#I was spoiled last time the stylist gave me a dry washcloth to get all the little Bits off my face#but todays stylist just sent me out into the world after using the blow dryer for about 10 seconds#got out to my car. hair all over my face. itchy. nothing to wipe it off with.#anyway. worst time was when someone gave me an extremely incorrect haircut bc of a language barrier & I wasn’t really mad about it#but I did cry in my car after bc I felt So ugly & dysphoric#also last complaint abt this poor person#she seemed to have Very little confidence in her choice of tool and changed the guard on her clippers and what clippers she was holding#like 3x more than was necessary & I know this because I get basically the same haircut every time w very little variation#& it just made me anxious that it was going to look bad bc her behavior was#making me feel like she wasn’t very experienced w the kind of haircut I was asking for#marc.txt#last last complaint for real not abt her#her coworker who was also misgendering me cut my hair last time I was there 😔
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