#so maybe at that point he just accepted she's ~different~ and learned to embrace it

[werelosingdaylight]

That’s my girl

Shuntaro Chishiya x Suguru!Reader

Suguru Niragi x Sister!Reader

REQUESTED? Yes • [No]

WORD COUNT: 1330

SUMMARY| Being Niragis sister and Dating Chishiya was bound to cause conflict between you and Your brother, but when Niragi crosses a line by threatening Chishiya in front of you. You decide it’s time for him to get a reminder from when you were kids, and a little warning that if he kept coming after Chishiya, he wouldn’t be able to do it again.

WARNINGS: Violence from Reader to Niragi.

Adm note: Last post for the night! Also, I know that in reality you would never do this to your sibling, or maybe you wouldn’t be able to take down Niragi but it is a fanfiction! I love you all, be sure to let me know what you think!

You loved your brother, truly you did, but he had turned into a completely different person. He was no longer the sweet boy who would help you with homework, or the boy that needed you to scare away his bullies. He became the bully.

You had both been pulled into this game and were separated from each other, when you reunited you didn't even recognize your own blood. After finding out Niragi was your brother, Chishiya asked you out; originally it was just for his plan because he assumed you were just like Niragi. Like brother Like sister, right?

Until he actually ended up falling for you that is, because while you mirrored your brother in certain aspects you also had some of the complete opposite traits. Niragi was a shoot first and ask questions later type of person, where as you went through every possible option and only resorted to killing when there was no other choice.

Your brother was upfront with what he wanted and would take it with no remorse, You would keep what you wanted to yourself and manipulate others into giving it to you but let them think they wanted to give it to you. You were two halves of the same coin.

After falling for your complex mind and you holding his heart in your hands until you crafted its rhythms to only beat for you, he told you about his plan and how originally he was only using you. Of course you had been hurt but after realizing you could die at any moment, and you would rather die in the warmth of his embrace than by yourself just to be another name and face lost in the game of death, you accepted him and his plan.

Everyone in the beach knew who you were, who wouldn't when Niragi shot someone because they accidentally pushed you into the pool, and one thing they noted was that while Niragi was protective of those he loved; you were worse.

While Niragi was quick to kill a threat to the people he loved, you would mentally torture them or beat them so bad that they would start shaking from being in the same room as you. You enjoyed the fear that came from people, and they had quickly learned not to cross you, not because of your brother but because of you.

So, the news of you dating Chishiya had spread faster than a wildfire in a drought, Niragi was not happy with the news and had been threatening Chishiya into breaking up with you. It was only recently that Chishiya decided to confide in you about it, but he also told you not to do anything you would regret.

After that you kept a closer eye on your boyfriend, and you're glad you did because the scene in front of you had your blood boiling. Niragi was in Chishiyas face, his gun pointed to your boyfriends temple but despite the gun to his head Chishiya kept his calm composure

When Niragi was seemingly done he walked away like he had won a big prize. You sent Kuina, without a doubt your closest friend at the beach, who had been standing beside you watching the scene, over to make sure Chishiya was okay; you knew he would say he was fine but you needed to disappear without her stopping you.

Once she had her sights set on Chishiya, you sunk back into the crowd, disappearing from their line of sight as you blended into the sweat covered bodies of the partiers. Your sight was firmly set on your brothers disappearing form, hurrying through the crowd; being careful not to let your two piece untie, you followed after him.

Mentally you cursed his longer legs, both of you had been blessed with legs that made you faster than others; his being long but you had what your mother called 'Athlete Legs'

"Niragi!" You called after your brother once you had escaped other people vision, you were in some alleyway, normally where they disposed of traitors and threw them into the dumpster.

"Hey, little sis. What made you want to pay me a visit?" He asked but his voice was teasing, the way he addressed you had also changed, back in the real world he would affectionately call you 'little monkey' because you enjoyed climbing trees when you were younger, and to be honest you still did, but never got to because you're now an adult and for some reason it's looked down upon for adults to have fun.

Without saying anything you kneed him in the balls, causing him to lurch forward, where you took the opportunity to grab the gun off his shoulders and hit him on the back with it. His head smacked into the concrete with such force that you heard a crack followed by him groaning; you broke his nose.

"I warned you to leave Chishiya alone, this is your second warning. Keep bothering him? I'll make sure you stay down, as of now; you are dead to me. You are not my brother, and if you keep coming after my boyfriend you won't be breathing anymore. Am I understood?" Your voice was cold to the point where a chill went down to Niragis bones, he knew you meant every word you said.

He nodded, blood pouring from his nose as flashbacks faintly played in his head of Highschool; he was no longer in the borderlands but back in the deserted area with his bullies, only now it was you who was squatting beside him without a care for if he was okay.

He felt something cold press against the back of his head as you moved to put the pressure of your knee into his spine, causing pain to course through every atom of his body. "I said; Am I Understood?" Your voice rang out again, somehow even colder than before from not receiving a verbal response.

"Yes. I understand." His words came out weak and scared, for once in the borderlands Niragi was terrified, and it was at the hands of his own sister.

"Good." You threw the gun down the alleyway, knowing by the time he grabbed it you would be gone and even if you weren't he wouldn't have the heart to kill his little sister. Getting off of his back, you made sure to stomp the heel of your foot into his right hand, the same hand he shoots his gun with, until you heard another crack. He wouldn't be shooting the gun for a while.

Making your way out of the alley, while your brother unsteadily got up from the ground, you walked back to the front of the beach. Going to where Kuina stood with Chishiya at her side. "Where did you run off too? I turned around and you were gone." Kuina had asked because Chishiya didn't need too, he knew what you had done and it made his heart warm with a feeling of reassurance; you wouldn't leave him.

"I just had something to take care of." You shrugged off her question like it was nothing, because to you it wasn't. Everyone's attention turning to Niragi who was limping into the main area with a bloodily nose and cradling his broken hand, you didn't miss the glare he shot your way, but underneath that you could see the hurt hidden away in the shadows of his eyes.

"Did you..?" Kuina was cut off by you raising an eyebrow at her and responding as you grabbed Chishias hand that rested in his jacket pocket.

“No one gets to mess with my boyfriend except for me, not even my brother.” Kuina looked taken aback by your response, not even hiding the fact that you had injured Niragi, nor were you worried about the fact that he might come after you.

Meanwhile, Chishiya felt nothing but pride bubble in his chest as he thought ‘That’s my girl.’

[deathdxnces]

it's this one + her thinking "That felt like a hundred years ago. Her father had been wrong. There had been no boys to bring her flowers, [...]" and "I’m not sure I have a heart to give any more, Papa."

that part in six of crows where ine.j remembers her dad talking about her mom and how in love they were and he has a whole speech about how it doesn't matter if a boy can give her things only that he takes the time to learn the things she likes and why (plus i.nej's follow up thinking about not having a heart to give anymore and being gifted knives instead of flowers)

i can't find the specific quotes on mobile i just think it's vibes for irelia and her dad

[tua-five]

Season 2 Episode 6

Another random list of things! With a bunch of gifs because I could find some today!

To start off, I wonder if Allison ever explained to the people in the salon or Raymond or anyone really why she couldn't speak for a year. How her throat ended up getting slit. Or maybe they just accepted it because of the year it was and the discrimination. Assuming it was a white boy.

Also, Allison went from not wanting to use her powers at all (other than using them to save her husband) to abusing it out in public to prove a point. This woman's got issues.

Random, but, "Unarm my weiner"

Also, every season, Klaus finds something new regarding his powers. In s1, he was able to summon Ben, and just in today's episode, Ben (even though it was just a moment), possessed Klaus. And another thing in s3, but just in case some people haven't seen it yet, I'll leave that till we get there next week or 2.

I believe that Klaus is extremely underappreciated and overlooked. His powers are, for lack of a better word, very powerful. If he had grown up differently, taught to embrace his power and abilities rather than be thrown into the deep end, maybe he could've learned it all earlier and come to terms with it.

Okay, we can all agree that the entirety of the umbrellas meeting their was hilarious, right? The conch shell, Reggie saying "O for 2 young man," Five having to be in charge once again, stop Deigo from attacking Reginald, and give a run down on everyone's powers, Allison making Diego punch himself in the face (we can also all agree that that was just another demonstration that despite everything, they're still siblings, right?), everyone saying that [Viktor] should in fact NOT use [his] powers, doing it anyway and blowing up the pineapple, saying Oops. It was all great.

What wasn't great was Reginald going down on the insults with Diego. That was a bit too far and hurtful. And Luther ripping open his shirt was uncomfortable for everyone.

Also. Reginald wanted to talk to Five because he was the most sensible. What doesn't make sense to me is how easily Reggie accepted that Five was older than him. How easily he accepted they time traveled. He was the most calm with Five. He literally said, "No skin off my teeth, old man." Both accepting that Five—who looks younger than him by a lot—is older than him, and also accepting the "apology".

(⚠️⚠️ S3 Spoilers!!! ⚠️⚠️)

Based on this, it doesn't make complete sense for Reginald to not adopt Five in the future. He knows that he failed with this group of powered children, so he goes out of his way to not adopt them. But with Five, he seems to maybe like him a little bit. And the knowledge that he failed, he can use and try different things. Maybe just adopting Five and not the others. He seemed genuinely interested in Five's powers.

Here are gifs from today's episode! Aka some of my favorite moments:

(Do you like jazz, Five?)

[demodraws0606]

I don't know how much of a hot take this is but Rui is probably the most childish WxS character.

Okay that's not exactly it but in my opinion his character arc surrounds him embracing his inner child, his own emotions and "selfishness" which contrasts with Emu.

Emu in a way struggles similarly to Rui, she struggles with her emotions and feels insecure at not being mature enough however their trajectory in my opinion is different.

Emu learns to grow up in her own way, knowing she can't detach herself from her "childish self" she's learned to understand how valuable it is.

Rui in some ways can be seen as the opposite of Emu at first in term of attitude, he's incredibly "mature". He speaks formally both in tone of voice and just way of speaking. Under the surface he seems like he has his emotions under control.

However it couldn't be further from who Rui actually is

He has so so many feelings, he often just doesn't either realize or he ends up repressing it due to a fear of what would happen if he let it out.

Because he always lived repressing what he truly wanted, living as a shell of himself for so long cause he didn't allow himself to feel.

Him getting angry in smile of a dreamer, his feelings of love for wxs or obviously the disbandement arc.

The disbandement arc was the first step in him maybe finally accepting his feelings but...I don't think it was enough. He still thinks of himself as greedy and selfish though he's not berating himself as much anymore that thought is still in his head. Even with the support of Miku in WL he only weakly agrees with her.

In the end, he still hasn't told WxS about Asahi. Nene told him that it was okay, that he could speak about it when he finally felt comfortable and we see he still hasn't reached that point yet.

(Also this is pjsk so I don't think Rui repressing his feelings is gonna stop anytime soon)

[darkonekrisrewrite]

AFO and Toga

Reactions to Learned "Love" and real Love

It's also really interesting (like some already pointed out)in how AFO compares and then contrasts to the other members of the league in terms of Love, what they believe is love and what could be considered real love for others.

Toga and AFO are similar in many ways.

Both having a Quirk that lets them take on aspects of other people, also adopting personas for personal reasons.

Due to her Quirk and upbringing full of rejection, toga initially believes that bloodshed is an expression of love, her quirk tying into that through a mental compulsion to consume blood.

Not so unlike AFO, the only true and positive experiences they find when they're young, is taking something from someone else.

Both are compared to Demons, willingly and unwillingly, with AFO embracing the title and Toga being branded with it.

And both eventually becoming villains and smiling, after everything they've been through and currently are, trying to live and make the best of things the only way they can.

But how they react to real Love (and/or compassion) is where the similarities end.

Once ochako reaches out to Toga and attempts to willingly connect with her, offering her blood for life, something that ochako knows would be considered love according to toga, things change.

Even though toga thinks ochako still intends to lock her away and knows (because ochako said so herself) that ochako won't overlook everything (probably talking about the killing, I guess?)-

-Toga isn't willing to kill ochako or let her die, even willing to risk her own life, to save someone who is still very much an enemy that she herself wounded.

Just because ochako showed Toga the acceptance (a form of love) that she never had before.

But AFO already had a form of real love in his brother, despite their circumstances, and his reaction to his brother no longer being on his side is the exact opposite.

AFO can't accept his brother's autonomy in any way.

First when he locks his brother in a vault for refusing to follow the villainous way of doing things and then when he tries to escape to "the other side" - AFO straight up kills him.

(at least heavily implied, maybe he didn't die right away or maybe after the transfer of OFA?)

That difference between them is what makes Toga capable of being more than the persona she has while AFO can only be a linear standard "demon lord".

[novemberhope]

Summary: After the tragic events in Marineford, Niara pays Ace one last visit. Spoilers: Yes! Marineford and Portgas D Ace Spoilers under the cut! Notes: After a long time, I finally wrote something again!! Yay!! (not very long though) Word Count: 881

Standing in front of the grave made it real. That's why Niara had avoided coming here for as long as she could. But there was no getting around it. If she really was to take Luffy up on his offer to join him and his crew in Sabaody, she knew what she had to do. She had to accept that Ace was gone and move on. But the tears would not stop falling. She had managed not to cry in a while, but now, standing in front of his grave, it was overwhelming. It was a good thing no one else was there.

She looked over at Whitebeard's grave. She'd never met him in person but Ace had been obsessed with taking him down. If he hadn't, and if he hadn't joined Whitebeard's crew at some point, maybe the Spade Pirates would still be together and none of this would have happened.

But Niara also knew she couldn't blame it on Whitebeard. Many things had happened in the world since the Spade Pirates left Niara on that little island where she'd met her grandparents for the first time. She was not sorry she had stayed behind to get to know them. She'd always planned on catching up with the others at some point but apparently that had never been meant to happen - after hearing that Ace had joined Whitebeard's crew and the others had moved on to do their own thing, Niara hadn't been in any hurry to catch up with her old crew. There had been nothing to catch up with now anyway. But maybe - maybe if she had…

No, she told herself, trying to wipe the tears away that still kept coming. This was just a lot of what ifs and might have beens. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her fingers gently trailing the edges of the gravestone. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I couldn't save you." If only she had taken things more seriously, if only she had taken the time to train, to get stronger, to handle her devil fruit better, to learn Haki… maybe her rushing to Marineford to save Ace would have made a difference. Instead, she hadn't even come close before she'd been knocked out and if Luffy's companions hadn't saved her… The only good thing that had come out of this was that he had seen her. He'd known she had come to try and save him. If anything, that made her feel better.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered again.

For a moment, she felt the heat of the afternoon sun on her back and she pretended it was fire embracing her for the very last time.

"I've decided to take your little brother up on his offer," she said. She wanted Ace to know that she was going to be fine. And that his brother was going to be fine too. "I'm going to train hard and then I'll join his crew when they all meet up again in Sabaody. I promise I won't ever let anything happen to him."

Truth be told, Luffy was a lot stronger than Niara ever would be, but she still felt like she needed to make that promise.

"And… maybe you want to know that Ginny's okay too." Ginny, who was everything but Niara's favorite person. She had sold the Spade Pirates out back in the day and joined the marines, putting a huge target on their back. But Ace had cared about Ginny and Ginny seemed to be on the right path now, so it felt right to let him know that. "I don't know what happened to her afterwards, but she fought on our side in Marineford. Which means that she's probably no longer a Marine."

Not that Niara cared all that much. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to forgive Ginny. Still, it looked like she did the right thing in the end so that was good.

"I own so much of where I am now and who I’ve become to you… and I just… I just really wish you would be here to share the rest of my journey as well," she cried, wiping her eyes again. They hadn't seen each other in forever, there was so much they had to tell each other… and now they would never have the chance to do so.

“I’ll come back and tell you all about my adventures with the Strawhats,” she promised.

Slowly reaching out with her outstretched hand, her fingertips barely reaching the soft grass covering the earth. Suddenly, colorful flowers appeared, finding their way all around the gravesite.

Carefully, Niara extended her hand to the gravestone itself and a beautiful fire poppy grew right in her hand. Slowly, she put the flower on the gravestone.

“Goodbye, Ace,” she whispered. “I’ll make you proud, I promise you.”

Again the tears wouldn’t stop falling and she quickly had to turn around and walk away. Once more, the afternoon sun was blazing down on her, but it felt strangely comforting again.

And now… now she was completely on her own. She would return to Amazon Lily to accept the offer to train there and in two years time, she would find Luffy and his crew and hopefully set sail with them.

[sapphim]

so there are two things I find interesting about the responses to that twinception poll (there are many things I find interesting about the responses to that twinception poll actually but these are two of them)

the first is that there will be people saying "carver needs to get away from his family to grow into his own person" and then some of those same people will also say "but bethany should be there too" and I think that's! an interesting exception to carve out. like sure we can all agree he thrives away from his eldest sibling and mother and uncle and the memory of his father. and maybe it Is Different with bethany, Do Not Separate Them. but it reminds me that we never actually learn how it is that bethany and carver actually feel about Living With Each Other!! all we know is how they feel about Missing Each Other. and that's different! that's a different thing! it's just interesting to me how the twins' absence haunts the narrative.

the second thing is that there is a strong common consensus that there is a right choice for carver and it's to become a warden. joining the templars isn't isn't Good For Carver, it's Good For Drama. but there's no strong consensus on beth and people seem to fall into two camps on this.

one says that bethany expresses that she is more content in the circle, that she may not love the circle but she loves the opportunities for learning and the sense of community it affords her. that whatever the many, many negatives, she's not alone anymore, and she's not on the run anymore. if beth had to choose, she'd choose the circle. she basically says as much.

but the other point of view is that, while beth as a warden is more bitter, more angry, more worn down, more openly dissatisfied with her lot in life.. that actually feeling and embracing the negative emotions that she usually tries to tamp down and internalize and repress is Necessary For Growth. and I! think that is an interesting take that is not without merit. the subject kind of reminds me of a legacy banter between fenris and beth

Fenris: You must hate the darkspawn, after what they did to your home.

[Circle Mage Beth]

Bethany: They are mindless. What is there to blame?

Bethany: May as well swear at a force of nature. I don’t see the point.

Fenris: That's… an interesting perspective.

Bethany, Act 2: Oh good. I almost choked on it a little there. A work in progress.

Bethany, Act 3: It's… taken a long time to reach it. Thank you.

[Warden Beth]

Bethany: I have a lot of hate, but it’s not so focused. It's… deeper for a Warden.

Bethany, friendly: It’s been a struggle to let that go.

Fenris: But you have?

Bethany, friendly: Let’s call it a work in progress.

Bethany, rival: Some days you just have to work with what you have.

Fenris: Does that help? Accepting it like that?

Bethany, rival: I’ll let you know when I know.

[n7punk]

"Lightbeam" Fic Notes

Pretend I posted this *checks watch* two days ago when I finished Lightbeam. I got busy lol and I was playing Stardew Valley.

Epilogue Life:

:) You’ll have to wait

Chapter 1:

⦁ This fic was originally written back in February after Embrace the Blame in preparation for the Bang. TLDR is we needed to have the fics ready early so the artists could then illustrate them, so I just wanted to write the whole thing at once because that’s how my projects work. I actually finished Embrace the Blame a few days before I posted the final chapter(s) because I had been posting it on a schedule and I could just continue using that as I worked on this to make the gap in my posting overall smaller. I think it actually took me like two weeks to write this, which is why there was a week and a half between the end of EtB and start of MMaM (and of course I had to write MMaM some too, but I already wrote the first few chapters ages ago). It’s also why there was almost two weeks between Start Your Engine finishing and Our Love Is God starting. I wrote the entire rough draft in February, and during that break I edited and finalized the fic for posting in May. I also just had a lot going on then, but yeah this fic has been slotted in between my others over the last few months.

⦁ Adora’s father’s information was left blank because she was an immaculate conception. More on this will be explored in the sequel fic <3

⦁ Norwyn is officially unnamed in the reboot I think but he’s one of the higher-ups at Mystacor. In the OG he was Shadow Weaver’s mentor.

⦁ Adora’s weather powers come up a lot in the first few scenes and I wish I had more “diversity” in magical incidents, but the problem is, as outlined later in the fic, Adora has no idea the stuff she’s doing (see: her coffee) and the weather stuff is pretty much the only consistent thing she has identified as maybe her fault. There was initially also mention of a drowning incident she miraculously survived when learning how to swim that even she knew was weird, but it ended up cut for flow.

⦁ In general, magic is normal, inevitable, and accepted, but there are still some “normie” communities that pop up in small pockets and want nothing to do with, say, a lesbian drowning the upper east side by accident on a Wednesday afternoon because she’s sad. Legally they can’t do anything to “discriminate”, but it’s a culture thing. Catra faced constant bullying and Adora was only safe because she didn’t even know if she had magic. Weaver moved there after getting cursed from her own incompetence because they easily believed the story that someone else cursed her and welcomed her in as a victim with open arms. Her understanding along with rejection of magic made her the perfect person to point to justify their ignorance (see, even a once-sorceress can be turned on and reject magic when she realizes the dangers. Etc). The main reason she moved there was just because there was less magic in the area, though (part of the reason a normie community popped up there), so it made it easier to manage her curse because it was weakened.

⦁ Oh boy, the Whispering Woods section. So first, I should say the version in the fic is pretty much what I originally outlined. The only big difference was Adora was supposed to find out about Razz from her research and went seeking her out rather than going there following her “mom.” I couldn’t figure out what that research would look like, though, so I went with the mom thing because that aligned with her backstory. My big problem was that I got a new idea once I got to writing the woods and the new idea was bad but it felt like reversing progress to go back to the original thing. The new idea was that Mara was an ancient She-ra who fell in love with Light Hope and, in her grief when Light Hope died, accidentally transformed her soul into a guardian spirit who would watch over future She-ras and “keep them safe” so they don’t get in a position where they, yknow, accidentally warp time and space and the laws of physics again. Light Hope was the one who actually sent the lightning, sent Catra, and protected Adora when she was drowning when she was seven. Adora would find the hut, would talk in circles with Razz, spot Catra who immediately fled, and get so frustrated and sad it started pouring rain, which forced Catra to flee back in through the window and into Adora’s arms for safety from Razz but she refused to change back because she was mad at her. While waiting out the storm, Adora eventually had the idea to google guardian spirits, found different methods for getting in contact with them, and tried meditation. This is around when I realized this whole set-up was bust, but the idea was going to be that she got in contact with Light Hope, had her powers she wasn’t in touch with explained to her, and told Light Hope to stop the wrath of god shit. Light Hope’s existence kind of wiped out everything I had planned for what was supposed to be the actual fic with her learning her powers. This new backstory changed everything and ruined what I actually wanted to write about, so I went back to my original outline. It’s way better for it and it meant I actually got to do the slow discovering and mastering of her powers I had planned, but boy can it be a struggle to dig yourself out of a hole and lose “progress”.

⦁ Catra eating the pie was actually a joke from before I started working on the fic. The original joke was that she was legitimately visiting the woods just to “steal” food from Razz and this was a thing she did on the weekends sometimes because they all lived nearby. Razz was fine with sharing with her cat “guest” in this version and seemed oblivious to the fact she was a person. This got changed because 1) Even if I changed it so they were all living near the woods and there weren’t barriers to Catra and Adora spending time together early on when she’s reluctant, that then posed the question of why the hell Adora hadn’t tried visiting her mom’s place already if it was easily accessible, 2) while I think Catra taking the pie once she knows about it is in character, her ever wandering through the woods enough to even find Razz to steal from wasn’t, so the basic set up didn’t really work, 3) the final version, with Adora’s powers going haywire and bringing her there, is way more impactful and in line with the fic’s story. It gives Catra a motivation to keep in contact with Adora after this point and illustrates definitively just how powerful Adora’s powers can be when she’s still in denial about the “warping the fabric of reality” thing.

⦁ Agatha Trunchbull was the basically demonic head mistress in Matilda, which, from my understanding, had a fucking torture closet she would lock kids into, in addition to regularly assaulting them like when she clobbered a massive serving tray over a kids head. I haven’t actually read the book, I just knew someone who liked it growing up and I went to the wikipedia to be sure when I went for the reference.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Adora’s spiraling and exaggerating, but empaths do need to actually hold the hand of someone and open their heart to feel their energy, so Adora isn’t likely to ever cause an accidental concussion as long as she’s careful about who she holds hands with.

⦁ “Catra sends her a condescending look that makes Adora blush for some reason.” It’s because you like belittling, idiot.

⦁ Catra’s kitten form is partially a result of trauma and partially natural self-defense. Having such a small form allowed her to hide and slip away when she needed safety from Weaver/bullies/etc. The trauma getting a little better is why she was able to “grow up” a little but she was right that it’s permanent in the sense she will never be able to have an adult form.

⦁ The meditation was actually a lot more helpful than Adora gave it credit for, but again, lack of self-awareness.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Adora’s whole thing about “oh, I’ve never actually experienced this thing I’ve heard talked about” is definitely a realization I’ve had a few times in my life, usually in some medical context though, like when I found out I’d never had an actual runny nose because I’d never breathed through my nose before.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Catra is being especially cuddly as a cat because it’s an “acceptable” way to get snuggled up close so she can then transform and properly cuddle Adora.

⦁ Catra showing up at her door as a cat was literally just because I wanted an excuse to write more kitten!Catra I was ready to be done with her yet lol.

⦁ I’m planning to write a sequel fic set a few years down the line once Catra and Adora are married, but as you know if you’ve been following my Tumblr, I have like three active WIPs demanding attention, so that’s going to have to wait.

⦁ This isn’t related to the fic so much, but this was my first time ever doing a fandom event! There’s definitely zines and stuff I would have wanted to participate in before but I only ever learn about these things after they’re already over lol. I loved being part of this Bang and oh my god do I love the illustrations so much Karo did an INCREDIBLE job. I knew I wanted to participate in the Bang the second I heard about it, but picking a fic was hard. I really wanted to write something in canon but didn’t think any of my current OotW ideas would be long enough for the word count requirement. At that time, I had a canon divergent AU ready to go, but it was Make Me A Monster and I wanted to do something happy so… yeah that was a no go lol even if someone might have wanted to draw the cybernetics. Lightbeam ended up being the perfect option because it was 1) fairly short for an AU but long enough to meet the requirement and post over the week, 2) light-hearted, 3) had plenty of scenes I thought someone might want to illustrate between Adora’s powers and kitten!Catra, 4) I’ll be honest, it kind of felt full circle, because…

⦁ At the start of this year I posted freak occurrence: confluence as a celebration of over three years of posting Catradora fics and finally getting to my fics being 1% of the entire Catradora tag on AO3 (next goal is 1% of the SPOP tag — JOKE THIS IS A JOKE THAT’S NEVER HAPPENING). It featured tons of my Catradora couples from various AUs — including one AU that hadn’t been posted yet. I’d had the freak occurrence fic idea for three years, so whenever I came up with a new AU I’d picture its Catradora in that scenario, which meant I’d already thought about what Lightbeam’s couple would do in that scenario even though I hadn’t written it yet. Getting to post it as part of the Bang was so exciting and I hope it lived up to expectations! The version that was featured in that fic was a few years older, when Adora had a better grip on her magic, but you’ll see a bit of that in the sequel fic.

Meta:

Playlist

Upcoming:

I have a one shot I’m probably going to post in the next couple days and then I’m aiming for Slipstream (my hacker AU) but uh….. Something is coalescing that may also demand attention. Stay tuned ig lol

[thegreatyin]

💀 for the scoundrel, 🃏 for caeru, 🐀 for both

putting this under a cut bc it got surprisingly long (blame the cardsru question)

💀 What's their relationship with the Boatman like?

Ever since she finished Evolution and picked the Naturalist's fate? Not exactly swell. He's not exactly pleased about her choice, and she hasn't exactly gotten any better at chess. And she has a bad habit of dying. A lot. Usually in really stupid ways (such as trying to fight two dozen tigers, to name a completely absurd and definitely totally absolutely not recent hypothetical)

To keep a long story short: They don't get along. Most of their boat visits these days are spent in silence. Or vague small talk. Or awkwardly trading weasels back and forth. The Scoundrel tries to avoid him... mostly. Emphasis on the "tries" part of that sentence.

-

🃏 What would be/will be their name and domain as a Master?

I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED BECAUSE MASTER!CAERU IS SO BASED AND ALSO HAS BEEN HAUNTING ME.

Aaanyway, despite myself, as unequivocally funny as the nickname "Cardsru" might be, I don't think it'd end up being his domain in quite the same way it is for the Scoundrel*.

Instead, I could see him being a way more general hoarder of knowledge, if that makes any sense? Facts, histories, lore both mundane and eldritch in nature, everything he could get his grubby little batty hands on. He'd trade in secrets and clues, acting as an information broker for anyone able to pay the price for his services. The price in question, of course, being a trade in mysteries of equal or greater worth to what he's giving up- street gossip for street gossip, arcane secrets for arcane secrets, maybe even the results of an especially chainbreaking experiment for a few dozen notes on tests of his own making.

He wouldn't be kind. And he wouldn't accept lies or forgery. But he'd always be fair, and he'd always look the other way when it mattered most. And if rumor on the street claims he's the most revolutionary of the Masters, the most destructive of their own ranks and ties, the council's man on the inside, the one who heralds the Liberation and welcomes its embrace with open claws-

Well. You'd need to trade a particularly enticing bit of information to learn the truth, wouldn't you?

His name is trickier to imagine. Mr Arcana sounds cool. Or maybe Mr Memoirs. Mr Enigma? Whatever he is, he'd be Mr Pages' worst nightmare, and he'd absolutely revel in it.

*and the scoundrel would actually have an entirely different spacebat special interest if they Actually Got A Say In Things! unfortunately they very much do not.

-

🐀 Are they friends with any rats?

At this point? Considering how many actions I've spent grinding fourth city echoes at LB Industries? There's no way the Scientist doesn't have a whole rat social network going. He probably gets along great with the little buggers. Inventor for inventor behavior. I haven't played Dream of a Thousand Tails yet, but he'd probably be best friends with the Piebald Dreamer if/when they ever meet.

Overall though, he's just a weird ratty guy! He respects rats!! Even if he tries to eat them sometimes. Unaccountably peckish, and all that. You know how it is.

The Scoundrel, by comparison, tends to see rats as vague annoyances at best. They tolerate their existence, but it's pretty much just that- toleration.

They'll be buddy-buddy with rats for as long as it suits their own interests. And as soon as those interests diverge from the rat's own?

...it's probably best to get the heck out of dodge before they get caught in the inevitable crossfire of whatever hairbrained scheme the Scoundrel happens to be pursuing at that particular moment.

[sweeteastart]

💫KHOCWEEK 2023💫

Day 3 - Lover/Friends

@khoc-week

Bunny and Anis

Suprise ! Here's not only Bunny and Anis but also their families ! When I saw the lover prompt/friend prompt I thought of this piece right away.

A bit about it : Bunny and Ephemer aren't in Scala And Caelum. Why ? Well, even after founding the infamous town along side Ephemer, Bunny remained hellbent on one day finding her brother. She couldn't picture her life continuing without him by her side. In her desperate quest to found him, she managed to built a machine ressembling the one in Daybreak town. However, upon activating it, the machine malfunctioned and both Bunny and Ephemer were sucked into a portal.

Both of them ended up in a small costal town on an unknown world. Thought the goal of finding Anis went nowhere, Bunny started to strongly believe it wasn't a coincidence and that one day they would be reunited.

For Anis, he went the being reborn route and was born in Scala ad Caelum two generation before Xehanort was born. He also longed to find his sister again but no effort of his manage to draw him closer to her. His hopes were crushed further when he learned of the founder of the world (aka Ephemer and Bunny) and he decided to continue to live his life.

Both twins, even if they grew and had their own family, felt the eternal emptiness of not being together. This feeling making a good news and important events all the more bittersweet.

I may be cruel to them but do not fear, after some more time travel shenanigans they find each other again. Well they both are in their early fourty by this point but better late than never !

Mikana

A soft breeze kissed her cheeks softly. Salt and rain floated in the rain. The usual on a costal town like her's. It brewed and grew like the tides. A usual tradition of pulling and letting go that belonged to this place. Her home.

The teen opened her eyes after a moment. The waves greeted her gaze as soon as she did. Late rays of the setting sun floated above the sea, embracing it's soft and unpredictable whims.

She felt truly at peace, sitting still on the high above rocks that dominated this showcase of nature. The young Keyblade wielder didn't mind waiting if she could appreciate the spectacle. Truly, she knew it by heart at this point. It was her's to witness everyday since she born. Yet she never found it boring. Nothing rivaled with it. Well nothing except one.. or two things.

As she formulated this thought, she turned towards the entrance of the bay. The sun may have been low in the sky, her heart could recognize those two from miles away. Two sides of coin : one a blinding light, the other a deep void. Ventus was the first to wave at her, Vanitas acknowledging Mikana with all but a small hand movement.

Once two sides of a heart, now two diametrally different individuals. So very different yet equally charming. Her myosotis gaze softened, her lips stretching into a small smile. She couldn't quite describe what she was feeling. A liking ? A need to protect ? Just affection ? Not a clue.

Being able to be in their lives just felt ... Right. It felt safe, it felt calming to be with them. A warm feeling was the only way she could accurately describe it. And maybe that was enough. Maybe, for now, she could take all the time she needed to sort out the knotted ball of feeling. However for now, it didn't matter.

It could wait. Wait for her to accept whatever had started to grow in her chest. Once it would have flowered however, she wouldn't be able to ignore it.

And that's it for today ! I have to say, I'm having a blast both drawing and writing for this week ! I know my writings are a bit short but ahah I'm a bit out of time so it will do !

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e6 our little world (w. robert berens)

crowley is stronger than amara? okie doke. so does cas's janky wing situation mean he still can't zap around? (presumably to add tension or whatever not being able to teleport over to save the day etc). anyway.

always interesting when they choose to have someone be traumatized by the traumatic things they've done/had done to them. this surely isn't the first time cas has beaten dean up, or killed a bunch of people/angels.

remember the days when i grumped about them not even acknowledging the mystery spot trauma for sam? well, i still grump about it. but now that's like a drop in the flood of traumatic experiences that get passed over.

anyway. we'll see how they do this ptsd/agorophobia situation.

too many plotlines/characters ugh. rowena in the wind, metatron popping up, cas doing whatever, crowley trying to control amara, amara out there partially eating people. a good chunk of why 11x04 was good for me was there wasn't all this bullshit going on :p

at least sam and dean know about amara and crowley now.

SAM No, no, no. Dean, wait. We can exorcise him. DEAN What? SAM Save his meat suit.

look at that, they remembered! :p also feels like the perennial excuse for not having to exorcise people is demons are all running around in dead bodies they're keeping alive. they're all dead anyway, huzzah, stab away

SAM Wouldn't it be smarter to keep her in Hell? DEAN Yeah, but then he'd have to spend more time there, and he hates that place. SAM Oh, right. I keep forgetting about you and Crowley's summer of love.

lol it needed to be said! bring that bitchy energy, sam. i'd seen gifs of that, definitely requires one to capture the vibe

unfortunate hair styling choices. 90s prom? beauty pageant? weird.

SAM No, that's not what I meant. We're going in to kill Amara. Are you ready for that? DEAN Why wouldn't I be? SAM Because we don't know the first thing about her, Dean. We don't know her powers. We don't know how to take her down. Hell, you know what? We don't even know if she can be killed. DEAN I know. But she's too big of a threat to wait. I say we go in there and we hit her with everything we got.

maybe i'm a doofus but i didn't consider until now that dean is trying to get to amara for other reasons? blugh. cat'll be out of the bag though if sam's around when they find her though surely. i'm tiiiired

haha take that credit, bro (honestly i can't even remember)

he has a fine actor but i am *so tired* of metatron. i hope he gets taken out of the equation sooner rather than later. i guess the opportunity to beat the shit out of him fixed cas's mental health situation. tada.

remind us of demon!dean days so we'll remember the context of the voicemail :p cute nonetheless. oh i bet that's in the recap too. i dunno why netflix doesn't have the beginning of the episode recaps anymore, started in s10. scrimp on music licensing?

OF COURSE they have to split up and just dean is going to amara.

CROWLEY Do you know how disturbing it was to realize that I couldn't bring myself to kill you? I've had tons of chances over the years, some you don't even know about, but, still... I made my peace with it, embraced my softer side, learned to accept that there was just too much going on between you and I–bromance.

not sure why dean looks surprised by that but ok

CROWLEY But you know what? I think I am gonna kill you today. I feel different somehow, ready. What can I say? Fatherhood changes a man.

feel like that was just a setup so amara could show her ~bond~ to dean (oh actually this is dredging up vague memories of a fic i read a long time ago, hmmm ok. chance to pick sam over amara). anyway point i was thinking about was wondering if they'd ever have crowley seriously try to kill dean at any point going forward

right, sammy's gotta save these rando demon guards meatsuits, hope they're not just walking corpses

think you need to be lookin the other direction, sam

for whatever it's worth, jackles did a good job looking vulnerable with amara being creepy

CASTIEL You said you were close. Dean, how'd she get away? DEAN I'm sorry, what part of "God's freaking sister" did you not understand? She overpowered me -- end of story.

i'm just so tired of it because it's happened so many times. we just did this last season. and before that and before that. i'm exhausted. you make the brothers and their relationship the lynchpin of the show, and then you have them do this over and over and over. like, so tired and frustrated it made me cry a little bit. just like. COME FUCKING ON. not like we're lacking for conflict or plot. i can't appreciate if it's better executed this time (compared to i dunno, stabbing jewel staite) because i'm so FUCKING sick of this. maybe if this went down several seasons ago, i could appreciate it more.

i appreciate they made the cage aesthetic here like the little tiny glimpse we got of dean in hell. again wondering if sam didn't remember the cage after he got his hallucifer stuff fixed. i assumed he did. sure makes a different in characterization if he's not toting around x amount of years of torture like dean.

abrupt segue into girl you'll be a woman soon. can't really hear that song without thinking of pulp fiction. this is me just realizing it wasn't the neil diamond version in the movie?? it's urge overkill lol (also the version used in the episode). wild

and update on what the baby episode did to my brain, i was listening to the guitar man and getting weepy and thinking how that totally could be a j2 edit/fic/something song lolsob ridiculous

[just-two-blokes]

The Thomas Barrow Storyline in season five

Disclaimer: These are just my personal thoughts and ideas. I really liked the storyline in the fifth season but I do think that it is kinda overlooked and I just want to put some of my thoughts out here.

CW: Discussion about Thomas' suicide attempt and conversion therapy

I know that everyone is constantly talking about Thomas' storyline in the sixth season, because it is his toughest season and his suicide attempt is truly heartbreaking. But I do think people tend to forget about his storyline in the fifth season.

The two main problems (in my eyes) why this season is so often overlooked are the following:

Thomas trying to kill himself in the sixth season is such a sad, tragic and shocking turn of events that it instantly comes to mind as soon as you think of the character. And since the whole sixth season was a very sad season for Thomas, it is often seen as his "darkest" season. It completely overshadows the fifth season.

The second reason is that it is never clearly stated what really happened in season five. I have seen a lot of people on the internet who didn't even understand what Thomas was doing to himself in these episodes.

I think its important to know that Thomas was not just trying to play some fun little game with these injections. He was actively participating in a so called "conversion therapy" in order to "fix" his sexuality. Why? Because he thought he couldn't be happy the way he was. This probably happened because Jimmy (and therefore his only friend) left DA and everyone else around him was kinda coupled up or had at least a lot of friends in DA.

As a queer person myself who has struggled a long time until I managed to accept my sexuality, this storyline just hits different. My heart breaks evertime at this one line from Thomas.

'To change me. To make me more like other people. Other men'

I do live in a country where conversion therapy still legal (A lot of people would consider my country as a very modern country but believe me... there is some stuff that really needs to be resolved) and I tremble at the mere thought of all the people who went or are still going through this hell. And my country is certainly not the only one thats still going on with this.

Therefore, I wanted to shout out to this storyline. It isn't a useless or boring story. It is the story of Thomas Barrow trying to change who he is in order to live a happier life. But in the end, he seems to realize (and maybe also accept) that there is no drug or electric shock that achieves what he wants. And I do believe that in the end of the season, he is much more contempt and perhaps also a bit "confident" about who he is.

The storyline of this season isn't a boring or useless storyline. It shapes Thomas character and shows him, that he cannot change who he is.

'There is no drug or electric shock that achieves what you want'

Thomas has to come to terms that he cannot change his sexuality and he learns to embrace and perhaps also accept it up to some point. And I do think that his conversation with Phyllis helps him in this way.

'It shows that you are a very brave person'

Phyllis is not judging him or is making fun of him. She comforts him when he needs it and is not disgusted of it. I also believe that this is the storyline that draws Thomas closer to Phyllis and let their bond get stronger. It builds a great foundation for their storyline in the next season.

I don't believe that him being gay was one of the reasons why Thomas attempted suicide a season later. The sixth season was terrible to Thomas.

His colleagues kept him from Andy because they thought he would try something "indecent".

Andy himself was harsh and unkind to Thomas because everyone warned him about Thomas.

Thomas just wanted a friend and really tried hard helping Andy how to read. And how was he rewarded? Well.. you know for yourself.

Carson pressured Thomas into finding a new position even though the times were already a disaster for people in service.

These were all factors that led Thomas to do what he did. But I don't believe that it was his sexuality itself that made him try to commit suicide. Because he kinda lerned to accept it one season before.

Okay, I'm done. I just wanted to write down my thoughts on this story because it kinda haunts me and because the writing itself in this season is so subtle that it can easily be overlooked. I just wanted to give some credit to the fifth season because the storyline is one of my favourites.

Addition: I just checked google and apparently some people submitted a so called "Initiative" to ban conversion therapies in my country. So if we're lucky, we will be able to vote for it and I hope that at least the majority of my people got enough brain to vote 'yes' (to ban it ofc).

[walkeddeath]

cont. from here for @walkedfire

  　　there's something about the incomplete stillness of nights in the after that makes gen wish she had appreciated the quiet more. embraced it, hadn't broken it with mindless talking and too loud music as much, learned to deal with the silence on her own. they had tried, countless times, but it always felt too threatening. it's almost laughable now, to them, that silence had been their biggest fear at one point. gen would give anything to go back to that time, would trade the future for it. she's tired of thinking about what's coming, wants to live in what's passed, what can't be changed by some freak accident.

　　she remembers a conversation they had once about time travel and she wishes the scientists would hurry up and figure it out. they're too busy trying to figure out how to stop death now, in more ways than one, how to stop the future. gen's seen the theories, the charts, the formulas and none of it makes any sense. no matter how hard they try and get her to embrace the idea, she's too wrapped up in how it could have been prevented. what she'd need to change to do so, if she could go back. she wants so horribly to go back. would trade the freedom she doesn't even have to be able to.

　　it isn't that she resents buck for dying. he didn't know it would happen, or maybe he did and just hadn't cared, she remembers his panic from that split second. they remember the panic and the empty that followed, all three minutes, and they can't stop thinking about how maybe it could be different. if they could just go back, fix it, tell him what was going to be and what to do. tell him to stay in place, not move, that she'd be fine. there's no way he'd listen and she can't blame him. if the roles had been reversed, she'd have done the same for him. it's why she can't hate him for the situation they're in now.

　　out of everyone, from the doctors to the scientists to him and even the fucking kaiju, she hates herself the most. she'd been late to their meeting spot, just by four minutes, but still late. she'd forgotten a box in her locker, had almost been at the door when she'd realized, and hadn't thought about the time. just ran, trying to be quick, trying to outrun a ticking that had embedded into her head at some point. if she had been faster getting back, hadn't paused at the door, had just thrown it open and never stopped running, she's sure they'd have made it out. 

　　so no, she doesn't blame him, and she knows he does blame himself, it's not something he can hide from her, even if they're not in the drift. it's evident in how he avoids her, how he looks at her, and she's tired. the nightmares have been raging, dragging her back into a void drift, keeping her stuck in a place where death screams and she can't find a light to scare it away and keep it away from him. 

　　it isn't like she'll have to worry about it for much longer. they'd fucked up again, had another fight with a higher up, hadn't kept her mouth shut and silent. hadn't just accepted orders and given them what they wanted. there had been thrown punches again, she doesn't know how to handle that part, doesn't remember ever being this angry. but, not at him. 

　　she's pulled out of her thoughts briefly when he touches her hair and the softness of the gesture pulls her back to the present, out of the past, and it's crushing. gen doesn't push it away, it's soothing and she's determined to commit it to memory, it won't be hard to, there's nothing about him that she thinks she'll ever forget. he's too burned into her heart for her brain to let him fade. at least, they hope. 

　　their thoughts do start to wander again, but more in relation to his question. no, haven't been able to in weeks, it's fine. she doesn't say it, trying to not be mean or short, and they try to commit his face to memory, another impossible thing to forget but she's just so scared she will. they already almost lost being able to see it. they got it back, he's alive, that should be enough. knowing that they fucked up and that he got hurt and she's about to hurt him even harder makes looking at him ––– hurt. 

　　gen almost looks away, but she can't, just reaches for his face and pulls him close, resting her forehead against his. she closes her eyes and shakes her head and, after letting a beat of silence rest, she speaks.

　　"i had a meeting today. i'm out. too broken, too angry, keep fighting them. i leave in three days. alone." 

　　they feel like a kid again, out of control and under too much pressure. unsure of what's going on and why she just can't stop fighting. why she insists on being too much , too loud, too explosive, too many questions, not enough respect, no control. tears start falling, burning in her eyes so she keeps them closed, and she speaks quietly, half to him half to herself. "i'm scared."

[joanielspeak]

As a fellow gardener/discovery writer, the only advice I would suggest is exactly what I suggest to anyone in an artistic rut. Your well of inspiration is probably bone dry, so you might just need a good refilling.

One of the greatest recommendations to me as an artist was to follow a couple of Julia Cameron's suggestions in her book The Artist's Way. They include:

#1. spending a few minutes in the morning physically filling a physical notebook page or two with all the shit that builds up in your head (Cameron calls them "morning pages” and I really stress doing this by hand so you slow down.) 

The idea is to write out all the garbage in your brain that is probably distracting you from your art. For example, my morning pages include a lot of reminders to buy stupid groceries for my stupid family who needs to stupidly eat all the stupid time, or it might be a stream of nasty comments about things I don't want to (but need to) do in the coming week like this: make dentist appointment ffs, buy silicone caulk, google “how to caulk a sink”, also google “why do they call it caulk?”, maybe follow the Trans Handy Ma’am ASAP. 

I might write out an embarrassing anecdote or berate the concept of writing morning pages at all (because they fucking SUCK at first). The point is to get those thought on paper because it is – scientifically proven to be – mentally relieving. It really does clear out the chaff so you can focus on what you want to do: create Beautiful Stuff. 

And #2. taking yourself on an "artist's date" once a week. 

Cameron calls these dates “opportunities to refill your creative well” and find fresh inspiration which is critically important for a gardener/discovery writer. The dates are really just ways to get your brain out into the world to see new sights, feel different/uncomfortable, watch new people, and soak up inspiration. Nay-sayers think Cameron insists that these dates be things that cost money, but she doesn’t. They really don't have to cost anything. I don't spend anything on my dates. I go on walks at different times of the year, browse shops I thought I was too afraid to enter, visit greenhouses, drive out of my way through new towns, go to free gallery or store openings, find free (sometimes shitty) music events, join an online book club for a genre you’ve never read, go to a new library (or any library if you don’t frequent one often), or just do the same thing you always do in a new way. Listen to a free poetry audiobook while taking a shower in pitch blackness. My mom sat outside at twilight with earbuds in and just watched fireflies while listening to an episode of Old Gods of Appalachia for a date once. Eat your next dinner at a picnic table, but don’t take traditional picnic fare. Actually pack up a difficult-to-transport hot meal with plates, cups, cutlery, napkins, and, depending on where you live, throw on a parka and eat outside while your nose runs and your food gets instantly cold and you feel like a freak because you are doing this weird thing BY YOURSELF and there’s a dude walking by with a fishing pole who probably thinks you are totally nuts for attempting to eat pad thai with a spoon in November at a picnic table near the highway. Trust me, he’s not thinking about your pad thai. He’s hoping you aren’t judging him for not knowing how to actually fish yet. We’re all learning something.

These dates will jog you out of your rut and the words will eventually flow. Just remember to go on them alone. If you go with someone, you risk focusing your energy on them and not your creative well. We don’t cringe anymore. We accept humans for what they are. Embrace your humanity and do The Thing because life is way to short to cringe over all the little stuff sitting in the way of your greatness.

If you want to read the entire book I’m referring to, feel free, but as a fair warning, stay open-minded and toss the things that don’t suit you without trashing everything that’s potentially super useful. I find morning pages and artists dates to be essential when I’m creatively drained. Good luck to everyone clawing their way out of ruts! It’s unpleasant but you’ll get there!

Idk if this is too broad of a scope for this blog, but if you could answer this, it'd be great.

I've been in a writing rut since I started getting serious about writing, and I've identified the issue in the past month or so: I slant heavily on the gardener end of the writing spectrum and all the advice on writing I've ever seen was for architect-style writing. Not once in the eight years I've been serious about writing did I find any guides on gardener-style writing (and if it says it's gardener-style, it'sreally just architect-style with gardner aspects), and my experience has just been more or less jamming a square peg into a circle hole, getting nothing written and feeling bad about it.

Now I'm unlearning all the architect-style habits that are destructive to me as a writer, but I can't find any resources for gardeners aside from Stephen King's On Writing. If you or any of your followers know how to help a gardener's writing, that would be great. I have so many fic ideas I want to write, but can't since I'm learning to write all over again.

For those who don't know what gardener and architect refer to when it comes to writers, a gardener is a writer who starts with the seed of an idea and lets it grow in whatever direction the light shines. They prune it and weed it as they go but otherwise let the idea lead the way. An architect, on the other hand, plans their stories out first and then writes them. They have a structure and the details all mapped out first and then the writing is just executing on that vision.

As a gardener myself, my biggest piece of advice is to avoid writing advice. Like you've said, the majority of it is aimed at people who do things like plan and plot and worldbuild ahead of time. Because of the structure that that writing style enjoys, providing "one size fits most" writing advice works well for it.

I tend to find a lot of that advice to be counter to what I need to do. Planning a story out ahead just makes me feel like it's already written. Building out the world before I start writing it feels like a hollow exercise - more like writing an encyclopedia than developing a land and culture for my characters to inhabit.

What I find useful is taking an episodic approach to writing. The entire story will be like a season of a television show and each chapter is like one episode. I always have my eventual "season finale" end goal in mind, but any particular chapter can meander closer to or further from that goal. It's alright to take a circuitous route, as long as I get to my destination in the end.

It's also alright if my destination changes as I'm writing. Sometimes those meandering paths take me in a more interesting direction than I was originally going down, and that shifts the story. As long as you're vaguely following a three-act structure (or 5 act or 7 act), the flow of it will feel familiar to your readers and they probably won't really notice it happening.

This advice I'm giving might not ring true to you either. You didn't have a specific problem to address, so I've been wandering a bit in my reply. Really what it comes down to is paying attention to yourself and your needs. Figure out what it is that keeps you writing and what it is that makes you stop. Do more of the former and less of the latter - and don't worry if what you're doing is "weird" to someone else.

I write directly into the AO3 window (which AO3 specifically tells you NOT to do, btw) because drafting first in google docs or something takes the fun out of it for me. I post my chapters without previewing them first. I write in 800 to 1500 word sprints, and I focus on dialogue, and I almost always try to end on a joke or a pun or a cliffhanger. These are all things that make writing an activity that I want to do.

I can't really say anything much more specific given your ask, but I hope something in here was helpful. Let's see if any gardeners out there have some resources or advice that might work for you.

[tuiyla]

So I’m currently having some feels about Santana’s lyrics in “At the Ballet” and can’t decide whether to accept this as canon or not in terms of what her relationship with her Dad was like. On the one hand, beautiful angst. Love that for me. On the other hand, not every glee song lyric was meant to be taken literally in relation to the character singing it, so obviously context is key. Buuuuut the context of that song is that ballet was an escape for them all, so… maybe that is what her Dad was like??

Anyway, I’m stuck in a loop and thought you might have an opinion on that particular performance as it relates to Santana’s family life? Maybe you don’t, but if you do I’d be interested in hearing it!

Oh same, always. And I always have opinions on everything Santana says, does and sings 😌

I'm always on the fence about Mr/Dr Lopez and the general Lopez family dynamic myself. Like yeah, we never see him and Lights Out has a few hints at a more strained relationship, but do I think Glee was just lazy and didn't bother casting him and that's why he wasn't at the wedding for example? Yeah. And even things like him being a doctor were mentioned exactly once, and who knows is the writers even remembered that half as well as the fandom does. I doubt they did. So most of what we have is At the Ballet. Gorgeous beautiful performance btw and deserves more credit. The vocals, the dress, the Pezberry long note? Exquisite.

I'm with you because I'd love the angst and it is the most we have to go on, but I also kinda don't want the lyrics to be entirely representative, to be literal? Like yeah I love angst, but do I want her dad to be like that? :/ My personal interpretation is to not take the words Santana's singing literally but to keep in mind, like, the general vibe of it. Like you say, the context is about ballet being an escape and Santana remembering a time, the first time, when performing was a happy place. So stands to reason it'd be a happy place and escape from something, right?

The way I like to think about At the Ballet and negotiate it with Santana's family life is to take the general feeling it conveys. I also like to think it might be a case of the unreliable narrator? With good reason, because Santana is expressing childhood memories where how she felt might not have 100% reflected reality but was valid nonetheless because that's just how she felt. So what I mean is that maybe Dr Lopez never cheated on Maribel and wasn't as cold and generally a shitty dad as the song would imply. But maybe he was a bit distant. Maybe he didn't know how to best express to Santana, or Maribel for that matter, that he cared about them. Maybe he studied/worked a lot and maybe he wasn't too emotionally open and vulnerable. No surprise, if Alma was indeed Santana's paternal grandmother. That would fit with how I headcanon him anyway.

So I think it's possible for the lyrics not to be taken literally but, simultaneously, for the general feelings to be taken seriously. Maybe he cared more than came across to Santana and I think that matters in the long run because they could have a better relationship once she's an adult. But it also doesn't change the fact that, growing up, Santana didn't exactly feel close to him and that “I was such a tomboy and it really pissed my dad off” comment doesn’t bode well. I’d like to imagine Dr Lopez as someone who wanted to but didn’t know how to even try with his daughter. I think there’s a theme of noncomformity with the Lopez family - how could there not be, what with Santana’s story being a fundamentally queer one.

It’s apparent in the way Alma rejects Santana, not even for being a lesbian as such but for not repressing it. The sin is in the scandal. So I’m side-tracking a bit but I think Dr Lopez didn’t want his daughter to be all that different, to be the Other, as a misguided attempt to protect her from the world and it resulted in a distance between the two. Maybe even in Santana feeling like she couldn’t be herself at home. And then there’s an interesting tension there because it also resulted in ballet and dancing, which Santana says made her feel “not different”. So it reinforces that conformity her family wanted for her, but it’s also an early creative outlet that made her feel safe and like she was a part of something. And that very thing is what later makes Glee special and leads her to become more herself, more open and vulnerable.

But going back to the Lopez family, maybe the parts of the song about her parents’ relationship could also express that Maribel embraced Santana’s nonconformity more from the beginning, as it’s implied during the Breadstix Goodbye scene. And I could see convos about that between the parents coming off to a child in a way that’s expressed in the song. Like her dad thought he was above her mom, stuff like that. It’s not necessarily what happened but kids overhear arguments and misinterpret them all the time, or internalize them in ways that don’t reflect reality. All of this is pure speculation based on the song and what I think of the Lopez family dynamic, of course. Just trying to fit into the non-existent Glee canon. But the bottom line is that I wouldn’t take At the Ballett literally but do think there’s an emotional truth to it. Even if Dr Lopez wasn’t actually like that, it’s how he came across to his daughter and that stuff matters, no matter his intentions.

Glee's non-diegetic songs will always haunt me haha. Because at least when it's a choir room performance or something we can be like, sure, the lyrics are to be interpreted loosely. But when it's in the characters' heads it should feel more like a representation of how they're feeling. I think that works in a non-literal way with At the Ballet but it's also why Every Breath You Take will continue to haunt us both because?? What was the reason there??

[thecameronchronicles]

Revelations

TW: Smut. Language. 

SUMMARY: Topper learns of the true nature of your relationship with John B while your ‘husband’ makes it a point to prove how devoted to you that he truly is, learning something about you in the process…

WORD COUNT: 1600

*Requested*

xtom-darling-x17 asked:

Hey, can I please request John B x Reader, where the scene where Topper comes on his boat with Sara but instead.. it’s you but you never disappeared, staying with them on the dock in the morning. Topper comes by being his jealous self and You blurt out that John B is your husband.. I really need to see Toppers Reaction! Thank you so much.. later that day, John B finds out that a man has never ate you out, you two had sex before but not oral.. John B blows your mind with his tongue.. if you want you can include that  they had sex too!! Thank you so much, I love your writing.. 🥰

Revelations

“Save some of him for the rest of us…” JJ teased as you had kept John B wrapped in your desperate embrace after he’d returned to you after being imprisoned. Not a moment spent apart in which your loyalty waivered, but it was not enough to keep Topper from trying to intervene to someone he believed he was still entitled to. The sight of his boat visible as Pope would comment something beneath his breath before pointing to the dock.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay…” Topper ignored John B’s presence entirely, even if he was glared at by the recently renounced criminal. 

“I’m…”

“Problem?” He asked when looking at John B. 

“I mean, you COULD keep your hands to yourself…” He warned as you stood before both of them, the bravado sweltering as they towered over you, the tension enough to make you anxious as you cast a look to the other pogues as if silently asking for help, their feet at the ready to intervene if things got out of hand as Topper was without his usual brigade of fellow kooks, including your brother. 

“Didn’t realize she had a leash-”

“Just keeping her away from trash-”

“Oh really? And what makes you better? Huh? I just came here to check on my friend-” John B scoffed at the title. 

“Stop it…both of you…” You turned to Topper. 

“Really, I’m fine…Thanks for checking, but you could just call next time, you know…” You reminded him as you attempted to diffuse the situation, but the tension that had been created with or without your presence was too thick for words to penetrate. 

“I just worry about you…You’ve been through so much…” You understood why Topper cared about you. It was a relationship that may not have been lengthy, but it did mean something, even if it wasn’t true love, it was admiration and respect to a certain point. But it still paled in comparison to the life you had with John B. The way his arm around your waist or look from across the room held more chemistry than any intimate moment between you and your ex. 

But still, neither one of them could accept that one was your past and one was your future. Where Topper believed he was protecting you, John B believed he was speaking on your behalf, maybe even more of his own. But it built such an argument that JJ kept John be held back and Kiara and you held your hands to Topper’s chest. 

“One day she’s gonna see that all you are is a mistake! I’m not saying she’ll end up with ME, but she’ll definitely find someone better than you!”

“Oh really?!”

“Yeah, really! You’re nothing to her, and she’s smart enough that she’ll get bored and-”

“Topper!”

“No, look, I’m just looking out of your and he’s just dragging you down…and I just need you to know that I’ll be there for you…You’re nothing to her! Just a guy she’s-”

“He’s…” You looked between the two men, who couldn’t be any more different, and yet held your romantic interest at different times within your life, one more intense than the other. But because of this, the words left your lips before you could stop them. 

“We’re married!” Everyone stood completely stunned, JJ having made some remark about the lack of a bachelor party and Pope and Kie sharing a look of disbelief, while Topper stood dumbfounded. 

“You-You’re what?”

“We got married.” John B now pulled you to his side, a weak smile across your face as Topper would just continue to stare, trying to find how your words made sense. He knew the words, they were in English, yet they couldn't have been true. It was as if any small fraction of a chance he had to have a life with you was now impossible.

“How?” He finally asked. 

“Beneath the stars…on the ocean…” You relived the moment as John B and you shared a loving gaze that only frustrated Topper further. 

“So it’s not legal then.”

“It doesn’t matter-”

“I’d say it does considering-”

“Please, Top, just…just go…I appreciate you wanting to be there for me…but-”

“You’re gonna regret it…all of this…You don’t belong with them…”

“Yeah, I do…” You corrected as he would shake his head, return to his boat, and disappear on the horizon while John B held his arm proudly around your shoulders. 

After the details of your matrimony were offered to the pogues and you were finally allowed a moment alone, John B was desperate to prove his affection to you. Having been apart for a multitude of reasons, mostly his imprisonment, you were both eager to share an actual moment of privacy. And he was quick to take you to him as the door closed behind you both. With fingers wrapped in your hair, you felt his tongue glide against your bottom lip as he’d pull apart to speak, only to return with an even deeper kiss. 

“I love you…So goddamn much…and I love that HE knows…I love that they all do…that you’re mine…that I’m yours.”

“John B…” Your hand came to his chest as he paused for a moment to assess you as your fingers played with the buttons of his already mostly parted shirt. 

“There WILL be questions about it and judgment-”

“Let them. It doesn’t matter. But just know…” You were pushed playfully onto the bed, his body hovering over you as he teased your lips. “I do intend to make it legal…” His brow flexed as he kissed you until you were flat against the bed, his hands gluttonous for you until you were left in only your lingerie. 

“God, I missed this…” He smiled as you nodded, biting your bottom lip, as he moved over you for another kiss, hand to your cheek, before a final peck, would bring him to his knees between you. 

“Wait…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I um…I don’t know how…”

“All you’ve gotta do is lay there, baby…Let me show you JUST how much I love you-”

“No…” You spoke quickly, taking hold of his thick tresses before pulling yourself towards him, close enough to feel his scoff.

“Nobody’s uhm-” His brows raised as he looked between your legs before scoffing once more. 

“HE never did? I mean…I know we talked about you never-But he didn’t…” You pulled your arms across your chest in embarrassment. 

“Do you want me to?” You slowly nodded as he pulled your arms apart and laid you back flat. 

“Then let me…” He kissed your lips, moving down between your breasts, his hands firm yet cautious, as he played with your nipples to such a degree that your hips were now moving against his chest. 

“I love knowing I’m the first one to make you come like this…” He lowered between your legs, pulling one over each shoulder until his breath teased your exposed heat, dripping with anticipation, “And the last…wife…” His brow cocked before his tongue made his way against you. Your back arched immediately as he flattened you with a forearm across your hips. Your body was eager and reactive, grinding and twisting in desperation as he nodded and moaned against you. 

“Fuck, you’re so sweet…” He pulled apart to make this very remark, before you led your hands through his hair. 

“John B!”

“I love when you scream my name…” But you were quick to cover your mouth at the thought of the other pogues possibly in earshot of your coming orgasm. 

“I think we’ve earned it, sweetheart…they know what we’re doing…so let them know I’m making it worth it…” You groaned, his fingers twisting your nipples as his other hand set around your thigh, pulling your legs wider for him, as he devoured you completely. The tremors of your orgasm crashed quickly as he nodded, endorsing you with nothing more than the loving circles made of his thumbs and the enthusiasm of his quick tongue. 

“Was that-”

“Fuck me…Please, John B-” He scoffed, cockin ghi shead as he removed his shorts, pulling them clean off of hsi hips as you guided him inside of you. 

“I love you, baby…” He spoke against your lips as you arched your back to the familiar fullness of his cock, only a handful of instances you were able to recollect due to the larger than life events that kept you unable to enjoy one another as you could in this moment, but basking in him irregardless. 

“Til death do us part-” He nodded to your words before bowing his head into you, your fingers running through his hair in that loving hold to your chest, as he shuddered through his own release, a final kiss of pure love sent to your lips before you were wrapped in one another, never to be separated again. At least, if you could help it…

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