#so many people joined. and we had a fair bit of drama in there
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katzenklavierr · 1 year ago
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do you have any queer anime recs :) ?
Fair warning my recs are BL or BL-adjacent bc that's what I'm interested in. They're also not very obscure titles.
As far as explicitly queer stuff, I've (semi-)recently watched and enjoyed:
Sasaki to Miyano, which is about a fudanshi and his classmate bonding over a shared interest in BL and realizing their attraction to each other in the process. Very cute and funny, especially if you're familiar with BL fandom.
Given, which primarily focuses on a guy teaching his classmate how to play guitar, and convincing him to join his band. A bit heavier in tone than Sasa to Miya, but it's not super dark. I cared a lot about the characters.
Doukyuusei, an OVA and another music-focused one that really leans into the opposites attract dynamic. IIRC the manga extends past the events of the OVA and into their college years, but I haven't read it yet.
For something that's not an explicit romance but has heavy queer subtext, I really liked Shouwa Genroku Rakugo Shinjuu. Very heavy themes in that one; it's a period drama first and foremost.
And if you're looking for manga, I recently read Our Dreams At Dusk, which also isn't a romance but is centered on a cast of queer people. Main character is a gay teen struggling with his identity and the fallout of being outted, but other characters have a range of ages and identities. Heavy themes in this one, too.
Oh, and, of course, Go For It, Nakamura-kun! is a quick but good read about a boy who has a crush on his classmate and tries to work up the courage to ask him out. Pretty lighthearted, and the source of the "I'm up (and a closeted homosexual)" meme.
I wish I had more manga recs but I haven't read read a ton of, shall we say, plot-focused BL since my late teens, so I don't have many strong recs for it.
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whereismymindnow · 23 days ago
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Angel of My Dreams 2
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Madelyn continued prattling on with Mike behind her as the makeup artist added touches of concealer to her face. The talk of how the song was perfect for tonight, how it would reach millions as they tuned into Vought TV.
“You do realise that the song isn’t exactly a love story, correct?” Harper interjected as Madelyn said how much Homelander had enjoyed listening to the song this morning. Apparently he had the last word of what would be performed tonight, but Harper knew that Miss Madelyn was the one that really pulled the reins.
“We don’t need a love story. We need drama.
“We need passion.
“We need fire. It’s perfect for Homelander, and with your voice, its gold dust.”
I know it’s a brilliant song, that’s why I wrote it. Harper bit her tongue and turned back to her reflection. This collaboration was already beginning to bore her. Vought had so many rules and regulations… quite frankly it was tedious. There were songs she could no longer sing and subjects that should be avoided. She was a grown woman that enjoyed singing about simple pleasures, but this would be too much for the religious groups that supported Vought so it was no longer an option.
It was humbling enough that she had to pretend that the little prick Mike was her boss, but now she had Vought to contend with… if she didn’t enjoy her ability to blend in the shadows and hunt as The Siren, then she’d reveal herself on camera and show them exactly who she was. Humanity was so dull.
A hurried knock echoed around the room and redhead poked her head around the door. “You’re on in 5, Harper.”
“Ah, you guys killed it as always!” Homelander clapped along with the audience, his signature toothy grin on show as he bowed to the cheers and praise. He fucking loved his birthday performance. It was all about him. The only name on everyone’s lips was his and all of the sycophants bowed down to him and threw money at Vought. What wasn’t to love?
“Now, I have a special someone here tonight that I’d like to introduce to you all. Her voice is world renowned and her talents are endless. It is my pleasure to welcome on to the stage, Harper!” He backed off, joining in with the applause, and stood back behind the curtains. His smile dropped and his glare pierced into the girl that stood in the darkness on the stage. This better be the performance of a lifetime.
A single light flickered on in the background to reveal Harper stood by herself, looking down at her feet that peaked out from under the dress. She wore a flowy white gown with makeup designed to look like glittering tears down her cheeks. Her gaze slowly rose to face the centre camera as she raised the microphone.  
Angel of my dreams I will always love you and hate you, it's not fair It's so bittersweet I will always want you and need you, you don't care You don't-
As she finished the first verse, some more dim lights turned on and followed her form. She almost looked ethereal as she stepped forward to the centre of the stage and held her hand to her chest.
Care that I'm mad, care that I'm sad It's so bad, it's funny Care if I cry, care if I die You only care about money (money) Sellin' my soul to a psycho They say I'm so lucky Better act like you're lucky, honey
Harper gave a sneer as she sang the last line. All of her thoughts going to Vought and the ridiculous management company that thought they controlled her. Oh, she’d show them who the lucky one was. They were all lucky that she let them continue to breathe in her presence.
But it feels nice In the spotlight When the camera flashy, I act so happy I'm in heaven when you're lookin' at me
She allowed a smile to grace her face as the music altered tempo and noted that people sat forward in their chairs. They were eager to have even an ounce of her attention and she adored it. She was a star, after all. The Siren was a performer of the arts and enjoyed nothing more than her audience showing her just how desperate and starving they all were. The whispers of the The Siren made her sound like she was the one that hungered, but she wasn’t. How could she be hungry when people gave themselves to her at every instant. They gave their awe, their focus, their dedication. Each droplet was carefully savoured by her.
Angel of my dreams I will always love you and hate you, it's not fair It's so bittersweet I will always want you and need you, you don't care Love when you call me a star You let me down in the dark Want you and need you, you don't care It's not fair
Homelander sucked in a breath as the emotion of the song gave her voice a more gravelly quality. She danced forward, arms moving with the music as she span around the stage. The minimal lighting of the performance added further atmosphere as the single female took the attention of everybody in front of her. He felt his heart pound as he absorbed every fibre of her being. His fists clenched as he fought the urge to pull her into his arms and taste every inch of her. He had been so close the other evening to acting out on his desires but he stopped himself. He was certain her eyes had been glowing when he hovered outside of her room. If Madelyn hadn’t been talking to him and he had been earlier, then he was certain he would have seen her true face. There was something about her. She wasn’t like the humans around her. Her body let out an energy and a scent that he hadn’t experienced before. It wasn’t human, that much he was certain, but he hadn’t managed to catch it yet. Was she a supe? He felt like she was, there was something chemical about her, but he needed more than a hunch. He needed evidence. He would get evidence.
Fair that I try, fair that I grind Fair that I buy you sushi Got you a car, got you a house Got you a suit, it's Gucci If I don't win, I'm in the bin You say you never knew me But when I pop off you sue me, so sue me
She winked into the camera, knowing that Mike was watching with Madelyn backstage. Let them watch. Let them see exactly who the fuck she was. She had more power than they realised, even when showing herself as just a little human. This was her show. This was her game. This was her meal.
But it feels nice (it feels nice) In the spotlight (in the spotlight) When the camera flashy, I act so happy
I’m in heaven
I’m in heaven I'm in heaven when you're lookin' at me
Harper felt her disgust bubbling within her veins as she belted out at the last words. Her anger and upset over her current treatment flowed through as she sang. She wasn’t some piece of furniture to bartered over. She was The fucking Siren. She ate people for a fucking living and made the rest fall in love with her. Fuck Homelander. Fuck Vought!
Angel of my dreams I will always love you and hate you, it's not fair It's so bittersweet I will always want you and need you, you don't care Love when you call me a star You let me down in the dark Want you and need you, you don't care It's not fair
Homelander felt his trunks tighten as the girl stormed across the stage and her voice echoed throughout the arena. She didn’t even need the microphone; her voice hit the eardrums of each and every person within the immediate area. The camera kept focused on her face, zooming in on her eyes as she completely let herself loose within the music. He saw the truth in her eyes. The anger, the hatred. The tears dropped down her face as part of the act but he could taste the salty liquid as though they poured down his own throat. He wanted to drink them like he was a man lost in the desert and they were his only water. He wanted to consume her fully.
Angel of my dreams I will always love you and hate you, it's not fair It's so bittersweet I will always want you and need you, you don't care
I'll always love you
Harper ended the performance on her knees with an arm outstretched to the camera that zoomed in on her face. She forced tears out of her eyes and exhaled a deep breath as the audience immediately stood and applauded her. Her face remained with the heartbroken expression for a few moments before she broke character and grinned. The energy around her sunk into her paws and she bit her lip as it sank into her pores and made her blood sing. Oh, how she longed to tear them apart with her teeth. Perhaps one day she’d have her moment to engorge herself, but for now, the energy that came off them would be enough.
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snowbanshee · 1 year ago
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From many hints I'm just going to assume this is about smth I wrote. It's okay to tag me, it's easy to miss things with all the Genesis drama going on again and it can almost feel like talking about my post behind my back.
It's a shame there's so much strawmanning here because it drowns a lot of good points and accurate observations. However once again I have to ask not to put words into my mouth.
I'm not going to adress the entire acting like I said Zack is to blame for Sephiroth's problems and Sephiroth is blameless or many other straw man falacities in this or subsequent posts.
"For starters, Sephiroth is technically dumping all his responsibilities onto Zack". No, Sephiroth has so so so many responsibilities and he's keeping those to himself. He refused one mission. One. Zack kept complaining he gets a lot of training and no assignments, so Lazard gave him one assignment, which made him lash out at Sephiroth. He didn't get any other of Sephiroth's many duties.
And for all the points like "Sephiroth is not the only victim" - no one ever said that.
And for all the points like "Zack has to deal with trauma" - yup. He has. People know.
"I love Sephiroth, you all know that. But part of loving the character is accepting the very real truth that he is STILL a villain and that he is NOT the center of suffering. His pain does NOT invalidate the pain of others." That sounded a bit patronising. Those are very simple concepts and I'm sure we're all adults here and don't need such explanations.
But Crisis Core is a game about Zack Fair. Everything I know about Zack Fair is from Crisis Core. And I like to analyse relationship between Zack Fair and Sephiroth from what I was shown in Crisis Core. And Zack Fair was not shown being kind once to Sephiroth while Sephiroth was shown being kind multiple times to Zack.
I wish CC shown Zack being kind to Sephiroth once. Just once.
It doesn't make me a moron who only blames everyone else for Sephiroth's mistakes. He believed in ShinRa when Genesis, Angeal and Lazard didn't. He believed in ShinRa when Glenn warned him about it. He's a silly man who doesn't handle reality very well.
And Zack joined military at such a young age and faced one trauma after another.
Still not gonna stop saying I wish CC bothered to portray Zack being kind to Sephiroth. And I wish CC bothered to portray Genesis being kind to Sephiroth. I would like to see that very much and I know many people would. There's a very big chance they were amazing friends, kind, caring, sweet and empathetic, but when it comes to pure canon, we don't see that, which is a shame. We had CC remake, OG remake and entire new games EC and OO and we still don't see that. We do see Sephiroth being kind to Genesis and Zack. OO shows how caring Angeal is. And I would actually pay money to be shown Genesis and Zack being amazing friends in canon.
I respect your insights and headcanons, Alto. I admire how much story you can squeeze out of tiny hints in the games. But CC can be a bit more descriptive when it comes to Genesis, Angeal and Zack
Okay. I feel like I have to say this because I saw this argument earlier. Zack and Sephiroth WERE friends. They were friends caught up in a strained, stressful situation beyond their control. With this said, there's some understandable tension between them during the game. But Zack is NOT cruel to Sephiroth during CC, nor is he at any point responsible for Sephiroth's trauma or actions. When Zack gets annoyed at Sephiroth during the story, there are VALID reasons for him feeling this way. And, moreover, Sephiroth is not the ONLY victim of CC compared to the OCEAN OF TRAUMA Zack experiences.
For starters, Sephiroth is technically dumping all his responsibilities onto Zack, causing him to bear the emotional burden. Sephiroth is also aloof and not always communicative. Zack was mad at him in Junon because Sephiroth was not returning his calls. Zack being pissed at Sephiroth because of Nibelheim? He just murdered a ton of civilians there's realistically no way you can be nice and gentle with someone after that. Zack not checking in on Sephiroth? Well he actually MIGHT have been. How else does he know what Sephiroth is doing in there? How does Cloud have memories of Sephiroth telling him to go away? Zack likely DID express concern for Sephiroth's wellbeing and WAS rebuffed. Zack even expresses concern at the Nibelheim reactor by trying to physically comfort Sephiroth, only for SEPHIROTH to push him away. Zack was also the one telling Genesis to shut the hell up because he could see that Sephiroth was getting upset. Zack DOES care and DOES emphasize with Sephiroth. The game just isn't dwelling on it.
Sephiroth is not the only person in pain during CC. I think Zack had to deal with the MOST shit since he's the one who had to kill Angeal. He got to watch Genesis seemingly die in front of him. I think Zack has MORE THAN A FEW valid reasons for being occasionally upset and angry at Sephiroth. But even AFTER what Sephiroth did in Nibelheim, Zack still chooses to honor him at the end. Sephiroth is shown in Zack's memories of people he loves during his last stand. AND Zack stands in Sephiroth's place when he fulfills Genesis' wish to share the apples. In Opera Omnia, Zack is very clearly upset with what happened with Sephiroth, and doesn't seem to be able to truly hate him. And Sephiroth killed innocent people and tried to destroy the world. I think if Zack can still pity Sephiroth afterwards, it wasn't just an unempathetic relationship.
Also, and this is something that the game tries to convey but doesn't do a good enough job, Sephiroth and Zack spend pretty much 2 years in each other's company. The DMW cutscenes explore this idea as it shows them training together. What you are seeing are only a handful of moments in what is otherwise a period of them actually befriending each other and forming enough of a bond for Sephiroth to have grown some level of fondness for him. Nomura himself has said that Sephiroth really trusts Zack, and appreciates that Zack treats him like a human being and not a hero. He LIKES that Zack calls him out, likes that Zack challenges him. He is THANKFUL for that.
Crisis Core is a flawed game. But Sephiroth is not the only victim or the only one suffering throughout. Genesis and Angeal suffered. And god, Zack MORE than suffered. And no one was nice to HIM throughout. No one cares about HIS mental health. No one gives HIM special treatment. He has to kill his friends and deal with it. And then he dies. I love Sephiroth, you all know that. But part of loving the character is accepting the very real truth that he is STILL a villain and that he is NOT the center of suffering. His pain does NOT invalidate the pain of others.
Anyway, Zack and Sephiroth were still friends despite all this. They weren't as close as they could have been, but they were. It was a relationship with occasional bitterness, drama, and heartache, but they were still good enough friends for it to count. But we need to take into account that Zack is NOT to blame for anything related to Sephiroth's pain and actions. If anything, he is completely blameless.
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emmet-appreciation · 3 years ago
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Pokepreciation/Pokeganda Overview
Hullo all! Mun Donut here. 
There’s been a recent influx of people joining the Pokemon apprecation/Pokemon propaganda community and uhm. First of all as someone who was active at the height of this small subcommunity I’d like to say that seeing it starting to come back up again is AWESOME (I currently follow quite a few, but I’ve only seen a handful of propaganda blogs post semi-regularly)
I hope this doesn’t come across as pretentious or anything, but I think it would be nice to inform people of the origins of the subcommunity (at least, to my knowledge. I stay away from drama so there’s probably a few things I don’t know about)
Where did it come from?
Awhile back, a twitter user created an account that that went along the lines of a pokemon name + “propaganda”. They dedicated the account to anything and everything about the pokemon- basically spreading love for it (not unlike what we do today). I’m keeping the name private for reasons you’ll see later. 
Eventually, this trend spread to tumblr and a small community formed, with users making accounts dedicated to loving their own pokemon.
The trend later began to encompass poketrainers as well, which is where I come in. Trainerganda blogs generally followed the same vein as Pokeganda blogs, though roleplaying wasn’t uncommon among these blogs (some preferred to simply curate content of their favourite characters, though. It just boiled down to how an individual wanted to run their blog)
What do you do as an Appreciation/Propaganda account?
Anything you want, really! The only thing you need to become one is to add appreciation/propaganda to the end of your url. 
Along with reblogging relevant content, I’ve seen people form something similar to an ask blog and roleplay with these accounts (I do all three!). Though, for those people new in the community there really isn’t a “wrong” way to run a pokeprecation/pokeganda blog. Just do whatever suits you best 😊.
Why is it PokePreciation or PokeGanda?
Hooh boy. I’ll keep this one short since it involves some controversy. 
Back in 2020, the creator of the trend came under fire for saying some pretty racist things. As a result, some members of the community decided to switch their URLs from “propaganda” to “appreciation” to detach themselves from the original creator. Some people kept the propaganda url, but that doesn’t mean they don’t agree with the beliefs of the original. And honestly, I do still think the propaganda url is kinda cool.
I was one of the people who changed my url back then, though, which is why I’m named the way I am today! 
-
And um, yeah! That’s all I have haha. Donut out :>
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blessednereid · 3 years ago
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August
WC: <4100
Mentions: Sexual innuendos, cursing, slut-shaming, Affairs/Adultery, Lying, Deceit
A/N: It’s an AU, basically where James and Lily don’t end up together, and the War ends before they graduate. Snape and Peter don’t become death eaters IG but that doesn’t really matter later on. Unedited, but it’s the last day of August so I gotta get it in NOW.
Pairings: James Potter x Reader, James Potter x Lily Evans, (future) Lily Evans x Reader
~~~
Y/N
*
Salt air
*
You and your boyfriend of two months are sitting on the shoreline of the shared beach near your houses. You’ve lived in the same neighbourhood for as long as you can remember, but never really noticed each other until your formative years. And the chemistry was undeniable, which is what led you to that precise moment.
“Hey, James… What do you think is going to happen when we go away for school?” you ask meekly.
Being a Beauxbaton student is as luxurious as it sounds. You never have to put up with brutish and grotesque boys in pissing contests, and while there may be catty classmates, there’s no fighting over boys. No heartbreak. No major drama.
That being said, that didn’t mean that none of you had boyfriends. You all had your fair share of suitors from Durmstrang or Hogwarts or some other school in the country. And yours was James Potter.
He is the epitome of a perfect boyfriend. He remembers small dates, like the exact day your cat died, and knows exactly what you need.
You don’t think you’ve loved anyone as much as you’ve loved him.
And that’s precisely why you’re so afraid to lose him.
You knew that the long distance between you would be difficult. What started as a summer fling quickly became something more, and James changed from a friend who could make you laugh your guts out to the boy that makes your heart sing.
He has his arms wrapped around you like a comforting blanket, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. The distance isn’t going to change my love for you.
But he doesn’t realize that it’ll change the amount he can express. And that’s going to be frustrating. You’ve only been together for a little while. So how would this even work?
“We just have to trust each other, darling. I love you, and you love me. That’s all that matters.”
“But James-”
“No buts,” he states stoically. “Nothing is going to change this. You just need to trust me, trust that this is going to work.”
James
*
And the rust on your door
*
He had told you exactly what he meant. That he loved you, and that you could trust him. He knew that he loved you, and that love had taken root in the deepest part of his heart. So when he opened the door to Sirius, Remus, and Peter’s room, since he would not be staying here this year, he not only felt excitement for the new year but sheer happiness at the fact that he had found someone who loved him as unconditionally as he loved her. He did feel some remorse that he wouldn’t be staying with his gaggle of mates though.
“Mate, what’s that grin on your face for? Haven’t gotten in any trouble without us, have you?”
Apparently, James’ inner monologue reflected on his face because all his friends were made aware of the grin on his face.
“No, I just…”
He’d managed to keep the relationship a secret from Sirius that summer because you didn’t want the already confusing relationship to be found out by the Wizarding World. For reporters to make it more convoluted and twisted than it actually was.
“I’m just glad to be back,” he says, deciding he needs to discuss with you if he could tell his friends about your relationship just yet.
*
I never needed anything more
*
When he saw Lily in classes the next day, a pang swam through his chest. He didn’t see her yesterday on the train. He wasn’t focusing on that. But now he was. He noticed that her red hair had been cut short to her shoulders and that she appeared much more confident. Her school blouse had the first two buttons popped, showing just the slightest bit of rosy cleavage.
No.
He had promised you that you could trust him, and you could. He knew you could. He was going to be the man that you deserved. Lily was in the past. Lily was a speed bump on his path to finding true love with you.
But why did the way he felt about Lily now feel as strongly as it did before?
And it didn’t help any when she waltzed up to his desk and straightened her arms right in front of his face, pushing out her chest, and making his lust and sexual drive soar. He was sure it was evident. That he’d broken out in a sweat, but he attempted to play it off as cool as an Autumn day.
“Hello James,” she greeted. “How was your summer?”
He gulped. In front of his eyes was a woman, the woman that he had wanted so desperately. He didn’t know her intentions, but he knew his thoughts. And if you could see his thoughts, could hear them… he knew you wouldn’t be pleased. He knew you’d realize that you’d been right in not trusting him. “Summer was fine, Lily-flower. And you? Hang around with Snivelly, any?”
“No, we haven’t talked since the end of last year. But I’m thinking that this is more room for opportunity, to make new friends, see the light, you know?” she grinned and it lit up his heart.
“So, I was talking to Remus, and he told me that I should give you a chance to be one of those new friends,” but the way she said friends implied something more. “And at first, I objected, and then I realized, I never really gave you much light in my eyes. Do you think you could change that, Jamesie?”
And fuck, if that didn’t make his heart race a little.
Lily
*
Whispers of "Are you sure?"
*
Lily and James were kissing passionately and furiously as they stumbled into her bedroom. Since becoming head girl, she had gotten her own dorm room. James had also gotten one, but Lily didn’t want to see how messy that room was.
She moved her hands from in between their two bodies and picked up her wand to cast several different nonverbal charms.
When she was done, she pushed James down onto the bed and began tearing off her clothes. And then his. When she was done and they were lying beside each other he muttered a final “are you sure?” to her, and she nodded. He kissed her with ferocious passion until the kiss became something more.
This happened again, again, again.
*
"Never have I ever before"
*
When James left Lily’s room for the fourth time that month, she pressed two fingers to her lips in reaction to his goodbye kiss.
“I’ve never felt this way about James. About anyone,” she thought.
He made her feel alive, he made her grin, he made her giggle, and he made her heart flutter when he was around her. Of course, she knew this when she approached him. She just didn’t think it would escalate to this level so soon.
She wants to shout to the world the way she feels about him, the way he makes her feel. How he can take her breath away and make her feel like the most important and most special girl on the planet.
Like she was made just and entirely for him, and that the same applied for him to her.
She couldn’t stop her wild dreams, the ones of vivid love and passion, the ones where he would kiss her, take her hand, and profess his love in grand displays. Where he’d fight for her and never leave her.
Fantasy and delusion never left her mind when it came to him.
*
Your back beneath the sun
*
He and she both lie underneath the sun, soaking up its rays, sharing its warmth, staring at the clouds trying to make out certain shapes.
It was a sunny December day, which was rare, so they were getting as much out of it as they could.
“James, we should study,” she lightly approached the devastating topic. “It’s not like I really want to, but what kind of example are we setting as head boy and girl?”
“Well, If we go back up to our dorms, nobody will know if we’re studying or doing something else,” he said with a wriggle of eyebrows.
“No, James!” she laughs, and he joins her. His pearly teeth both ensnaring her mind and rendering her unable to focus on anything but him.
“When’s the next Hogsmeade trip?” he asked casually while he laid back down with his head facing the sky.
“Most likely before the holidays.”
She saw his face contort when she mentioned the Christmas break.
“James, what’s wrong?”
“It’s nothing, I’m just thinking about… the war.” His face was pale, and his face sour.
“I’m thinking of joining the order after I graduate, but it’s still scary, you know. I’m worried about my mum and dad.”
“Your parents are going to be fine, James,” she assured him, but she knew he would be fully relieved until the war was over and all death eaters were locked up.
*
Wishin' I could write my name on it
*
She was sitting with Remus in the library when he brought up James. Let the record show that he brought up James, not her.
“So, how is everything going with James?”
She sighed lightly. “It’s magic, Remus. Pun intended.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you feel that way, Lily. Really, he’s a good guy once you get past that facade he puts on. I knew you’d like him.”
“Yes,” she says faintly. Doubts flood her head about his own feelings.
“What’s wrong, Lily?”
Her eyes turn down to her paper before reaching up again to meet his. “It’s silly, but… sometimes I wonder if he truly feels the same. I mean, most people don’t harbour feelings for one person for this long. What if all along it was just lust, and he’ll cast me away now that he’s satisfied that urge.”
“Lily, I promise you, James has had eyes for no one but you for many years. I highly doubt that it was lust, James isn’t like that.”
“You know,” she smiled. “You’re right. I just wish this didn’t have to be kept so hush-hush. The amount of girls I see fawning over him is grotesque.”
“So then ask him,” he pushed.
She took that as a challenge. “Alright. I will!”
*
The next time Lily saw James, they immediately rolled into bed and did what lovers do. But after that is when she posed the question.
“James, would we- will we ever be able to make this public?” she asked in a stern voice.
She saw thoughts swimming in his head for a moment.
“Lily,” he rolled onto his side. “We- I… This needs to be a secret for now. I mean, we are waist-deep into this war, and with my plans to go into the order, I can’t risk anyone coming after you.”
His logic made sense to her, and the wizarding world would get too caught up with the son of a prestigious wizard family being with a muggle-born in the middle of all of this.
He was right, she just had to swallow her jealousy for now.
*
Will you call when you’re back at school
*
The next week, there was a Hogsmeade trip, and despite them staying near the Marauders, really, it was a date for James and Lily. Or at least that’s what it felt like. An unofficial date.
They bought each other gifts to open over the holidays, kissed discreetly under mistletoes, and held hands while walking through the village.
When they went to get butterbeer for the rest of the group, there was a long but comfortable silence for a while.
“So what are you doing for the holidays?”
“Just going back home, maybe making some treats with my mum,” he said casually. “What about you?”
“Same as you, I guess. I’ll miss you, though.”
“I’ll miss you too.”
She tapped her foot absentmindedly as they waited. “What if I came with you?”
“What?” Panic flooded his face. “No, you couldn’t come with me, I’m afraid. My house is an Order safe place. If a death eater found it, you could be in danger.”
“You’re in danger just being there.”
“And you’re in danger by just breathing, Lily! That would be a double danger. I’m not risking that.”
She cringed at her sudden need to be close to him. “Right, sorry. It was a silly idea. A mindless thought.”
His face softened when he saw her embarrassment. “I’d love to bring you home, Lily, but it’s not safe.” But by now she could tell that he was lying, there was something more.
*
I remember thinkin' I had you
*
On the train back from London going to Hogwarts, Lily sat with Marlene and Dorcas, she hadn't seen them quite as much as she would’ve wanted since the school year started, and now was the perfect opportunity.
Lily felt remorse and guilt for not telling her friends about such a crucial part of her life, her relationship with James Potter, and truly she wanted to, but what if they judged her? And Marlene has had a reputation for having a loudmouth. What if she said something and word got out?
They conversed in idle gossip before an interesting topic was brought up. One that left Lily infuriated, and ready to murder a smug bastard.
“Have you heard about Potter and that Beauxbaton girl?”
Her eyes raised in curiosity and scorn. “What Beauxbaton girl?”
Dorcas revealed as much as she knew about you to Lily, your name, family, status in the Wizarding World. By the time she was done, Lily was struck with disbelief.
“And you’re sure they were kissing?” she said in response to Marlene’s information about the article in the Daily Prophet with a picture of them kissing.
“Yes!” she exclaimed.
“I have the article right here,” Dorcas mentioned.
“Way to bury the lead.”
“Oh shush,” she said and handed Lily the newspaper out of her bag.
She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. The man she had been with for the past four months was kissing another woman. With Tongue.
“Well, that’s fantastic for him,” she said sourly. “He must feel so proud to have gotten a pretty girlfriend after pining after me for so long. I wonder how long it’ll be before he tries pining after me again,”
“Who knows, maybe it is serious,” Dorcas proposed.
Lily growled. “I don’t think it’s that serious if he’s sleeping with another woman.”
Marlene’s eyes widened. “You don’t mean-”
“Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” she said before exiting the cabin of the train and heading to find James Potter.
“So,” she said when she reached his compartment. “How long have you been seeing her?”
James looked shocked to see her. “Lily, I can explain.”
“Can you? Please explain then. Is this why I couldn’t come with you? Why you had to keep us a secret James? For Godric’s sake, how long have you been seeing her?”
He gulped. “Since the summer.” Even Sirius looked shocked.
“I lived in your house, and you didn’t tell me, mate?”
“Not the time,” Peter chastised.
“Are you serious James? You spouted all of that you love me bullshit when you were with someone else?” Her eyes radiated anger. It was like staring into the mouth of an actively-fire-breathing dragon. “Does she know about me?”
“No, she doesn’t,” he admitted.
Lily said one more sentence before stalking away. “Well, you better tell her, or I will.”
*
But I can see us lost in the memory
*
Lily had no intention of telling you anything. She didn’t even know you. How would she send an owl to a total stranger and tell them that their boyfriend has been cheating on them with herself?
Lily never set out to be a homewrecker. But she didn’t even know she was wrecking a home, to begin with.
This was James’ fault, and he was going to own up to it.
Besides, It deserved to come from him. Lily knew how she felt about being told that she was the other woman from some outside source, and she didn’t want to do that to anyone at all.
But not even the sting of betrayal could mask the ever-flowing sadness that emanated from Lily. She truly believed he was in love. And maybe he was. Just not with her. And that was okay, but she didn’t deserve what she was put through.
Still, that doesn’t stop the fact that she, herself, was in love with him, and how is she supposed to ever get over that betrayal.
*
August slipped away into a moment in time- 'Cause it was never mine
*
Within the next few months, Lily had fallen into a rut. Her grades began slipping, her mood and cheeriness faltered. Even though the Wizarding World War had recently been won, with death-eaters being locked away, that didn’t change her mood, because she wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, to begin with. Her friends noticed her down-in-the-dumps aura, and despite knowing the cause, and how it wasn’t their fault, they couldn’t help but want to help her, to fix her.
But no one could repair the damage that James Potter caused to Lily but Lily herself. And that started with making amends.
“I have to send a follow-up letter to that girl. So I’ll ask you. Have you told her yet?” She cornered James in the library because, despite Head Boy and Head Girl duties, they didn’t see each other much. After all, he was avoiding her as much as she was avoiding him.
He gulped, “I haven’t. Lily, I can’t tell her. It would kill her, she was so worried about the distance and when she saw me at Christmas break, she was so happy. I don’t want to ruin that.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you started an affair with me, James. An affair I didn’t agree to. I didn’t want to be anybody's mistress. And she deserves to know, and I am going to send her a letter. Today! So if you don’t tell her, she will find out from me. I’ve given you months.”
“Lily, don’t do this. Please. I can’t tell her over an owl. It has to be in person.”
She faltered. He was right. His heart may have been in the wrong place, but his head is in the right one. Doing that, telling you over an owl could have devastating consequences. It was a discussion that had to be had in person.
“Easter Break. That is your chance, James Potter. After that, If you don’t I will.”
She turned on her heel and was about to leave the library when he grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
“Lily, you have to understand, I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “I have fancied you for so long, and when you finally reciprocated this year, I didn’t want to pass up that chance. I was wrong. You are so amazing, and I shouldn’t have done what I did, but please believe this. You deserve so much, and I couldn’t and could never give that to you, but when I did this, I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn’t think it would go this far.”
She scoffed. “Well, it did, James. You hurt me. You betrayed me, and you betrayed her. Neither of us deserved that, no matter what.”
*
And I can see us twisted in bedsheets
*
Guilt twisted in her stomach every time she thought of you. Jealousy was surely a stage at first, everything about you had her enchanted, your hair, your eyes, your glowing skin. She was enthralled, and she could see why James was too.
And then she remembered his nights in her dorm, on her bed. Tossing and turning with her, his lips on her mouth, and she didn’t feel envy. She felt regret and culpability. If she had pressed James harder about whether his feelings really were the same as before, if he’d really wanted to do this, maybe he wouldn’t have done it.
And then she wouldn’t be in this position, and you wouldn’t be about to come crash-landing on impact with this heavy, and taboo truth.
But this wasn’t about her, Lily realized. This was about you. And how you were going to feel once James told you what happened when the train meets the station, and that is all Lily can think of as she sits on her bed, staring out of her window. When her owl knocks on the window to deliver her mail, the headline of the Daily Prophet is what catches her eye. “The Prodigal son in an affair with a Muggleborn witch!” It goes on and on about how a secret inside source heard an argument between the two of them in the Hogwarts library.
There is no doubt that you have seen this, and James didn’t get to tell you. Lily didn’t get to apologize to you. This just got a whole lot worse, and Lily didn’t know how she was going to deal with the sudden turn of events.
James is the villain here, she reminded herself. James is in the wrong, but she knew that she was still an unwitting accomplice. And her gut wrenched as she pondered on that very true fact.
*
August slipped away like a bottle of wine
*
Lily had to get away from the wizarding world, so although she didn’t plan on going home for the Easter holiday, she had to now.
She was being shamed for her insidious relationship with James, by certain people, mostly Snape and his friends, that bastard. Most everyone was supportive, they realized she had no idea about your relationship, but she was still worried about what you’d say to James, but more about what’d you’d say about her.
Had James told you that she didn’t know? That he lied to both of you. Would you be mad at her either way?
Shame pulsed through her body, and she couldn’t imagine what her mother would say when she told her if she ever did.
Though when she got home, her mother instantly noticed that something was wrong.
Knowing she couldn’t take her mothers knowing stares and hard gaze, she instantly confessed to everything that happened over the semester. Her mother didn’t judge her for having premarital sex as Lily thought she would, but rather comforted her daughter and reassured her. “If James is a half-decent person, he will tell her that you did nothing wrong, and she won’t be mad at you, Lily dear.”
Her mother's reassurance helped, but her rose bush of worry wouldn’t be clear of its thorns until she spoke with you.
*
'Cause you were never mine
*
When the break was over, and Lily was about to board the train station to the red engine that is the Hogwarts Express, someone was waiting for her at the door to the train.
“My train doesn’t arrive until later,” you say plainly. “I wanted to get here earlier though, to speak with you.”
Lily feels like she’s breaking out in hives under your eyes, and it’s not a good feeling.
“James told me about how you didn’t know about me, how you wanted him to tell me sooner, didn’t want me to find out from tabloids like you did.” You smiled at her.
“It really hurt me when I found out. I didn’t want you to feel that way, but you still deserved to know. I’m just sorry you found out like that anyway.”
“James already boarded the train, but I wanted to let you know we’re no longer together if you still wanted to be with him,” you said meekly.
Lily’s eyes grew to the size of saucers. “Godric, no! He’s a git.”
You laughed.
“I know we may not be able to be friends, but maybe it’ll be better if we work through all of this together, all three of us,” Lily proposed.
“Yes, individually, dually, all together, doesn’t matter, it needs to be resolved.”
Lily sighed a breath of relief. “Somehow, I feel lighter.”
“Me too.”
As Lily was about to board the train, you called out to her. “Lily!”
She whipped her head to face you. “We can be friends if you’d like, you know.”
That made Lily smile, and honestly, it made her heart bloom with a vague, but familiar feeling.
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n0bamak1s · 3 years ago
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mutual - mai zenin x reader
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request: “Could you write mai x non-binary s/o, where mai is realizing that she has a crush on s/o, it'd be funny to see her reaction when the s/o get asked by todo before they spar, abt the kind of woman s/o like, and s/o just shrug and answer 'mai, i guess'.” - @814519
summary: reader seems to take a liking to mai, who refuses to acknowledge her schoolgirl crush on them, and todo somehow manages to be the one to get them to stop dancing around their feelings for each other. (genre: fluff, mutual pining, slice of life-y)
warnings: swearing, mentions of fighting, mostly just fluff
word count: 2.7k
a/n: i’m sorry to take a long ass hiatus again but i have some fics i’m working on rn!! thank you all sm for being so patient with how slow i can be T_T btw this one includes some very mild miwa x reader as well just as a heads up lol!
when you first transferred schools in order to master your cursed technique, your first instinct was to raise an eyebrow at your classmates. the lineup of students in your school consisted of a boy who might as well be a bodybuilder, a blonde girl whose hair seemed to defy gravity, an awkward looking stoic boy clad in traditional clothing, a girl with a gun holster on the side of her baggy pants who wore a bored expression as her gaze met yours, and a normal looking blue haired girl standing next to some rusty looking robot. with all their strange hairstyles and odd clothing choices, combined with how nonchalant they were about their mechanical companion, they might as well be the cast of some forgotten sitcom from the 80s.
after introducing yourself to your stiff new classmates, you were whisked away to be led to your dorm by the blue haired girl (would you call her a “bluenette”?) who you learned was called miwa. as you walked, you asked her questions about her cursed technique, to which she sheepishly smiled and explained how she was the most “useless” of the students.
in response to her shameless self deprecation, you simply scoffed and sent an easy smile her way. “you really shouldn’t beat yourself up like that miwa, if you do it’ll be much easier for your opponents to.” despite the teasing nature of your words, you really did hope you’d managed to encourage her a bit.
miwa turned to you with bright eyes and a sincere smile. “that means a lot, really! it’ll be so nice to have an upperclassman here who isn’t so intimidating. i’m always so nervous to ask mai for help with stuff, so it’s nice to know you believe in me!”
her smile was infectious as you mirrored your junior’s facial expression. “there’s no need to be scared of them you know, believe me, just because they’re older doesn’t mean they have any idea what they’re doing.”
she shrugged in response. “i guess you might be right, this morning mai was practically shaking in her boots about getting to meet you, so maybe it’s all just a tough facade!”
you thought back to the girl who had introduced herself as mai.
what first caught your eye was the way she carried herself. while next to her other classmates as she introduced herself to you, arms crossed over her chest and back straight, as if it was an attempt to look high and mighty. rather than a proper introduction, she simply told you her name, before looking away boredly. the both of you chose to ignore the way todo teased her, before turning to introduce himself with a smug smile. he opened his mouth to seemingly ask you something, but was quickly cut off by mai stomping on his foot, sending him a harsh look. she glanced back at you with a slightly softer expression and a monotone apology for “his idiocy.”
you chuckled quietly at the idea of the girl who presented herself as so blunt and cold getting all nervous at the idea of your arrival.
breaking you out of your reminiscence, miwa waved her hands in front of her nervously as she turned to you. “just please don’t tell her i said that!” her guilty expression rivaled that of a kid who’d been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
before she could continue in her nervous exclamation about how intimidated she was by her senior, you grabbed her hands that had been motioning wildly to match her words. “don’t worry miwa, i’d never sell you out like that.” you let out a small chuckle as you examined the genuine worry on her face, to which she just sheepishly smiled. it was funny to you how scared she seemed of her seniors, but it couldn’t help you from getting an odd urge to want to protect the small girl.
“besides,” your smile turned sly “, if what you say is true, i bet mai would be too shy to even talk to me!” a loud laugh escaped your lips as you continued your way down the dorm halls with long strides. behind you, miwa sped up when remembering she was supposed to be the one escorting you to your dorm.
“come on, that’s not fair to hang it over my head like that!” she whined as she managed to match your pace.
as miwa trailed ever so slightly behind you, you caught sight of a newly familiar head of dark hair (under the fluorescent lighting you couldn’t entirely tell whether it was green or black.)
“mai!” you called out to the girl you’d been newly acquainted with, raising one hand in greeting and slinging the other around your very embarrassed looking juniors shoulders.
the girl you’d shouted to turned to you with heavy lidded eyes that gave her face a bored, almost annoyed, expression. her turning your way was quickly followed by todo, who you guessed had been standing next to her, glancing over the hallway corner to meet your gaze. those two made an odd pair, from what you could tell. in contrast to mai’s impassive greeting, todo had introduced himself with booming confidence, before going on to complain to utahime that he’d have to leave in order to make it back to his dorm to score tickets for a concert featuring takeda. in the moment, you had to stifle a laugh at the memory of such an intimidating looking dude having a huge crush on an idol with absolutely no shame about it.
mai opened her mouth to say something, but was quickly cut off by todos roaring voice. “hey new kid!” his demeanor had been as confident as you remember, despite the fact that you were pretty sure he’d forgotten your name in the short time from when you had left to see your dorm. you gave him a smile and a lopsided wave in response.
“did you snag those tickets you were worried about earlier todo?”
“easily.” he bragged as if you cared about getting a pair of tickets for yourself. “however, earlier i meant to ask you a question, but SHE,” he pointed a thumb annoyedly at his companion, “very rudely interrupted me by stepping on my foot.”
“todo…” mai’s tone seemed warning as her eyes flickered between you and him.
“as much as i would LOVE to hear what your question is todo, i really do have to go unpack” you smiled abashedly, pulling miwa to your side, who nodded with wide eyes at how unphased you were.
“it might be better to ask when we spar later.” he shrugged. “that way i can really hear your impulse answer.” he crossed his arms, clearly to look intimidating.
“works for me! i’ll see you then too, mai.” you winked at her as you tugged miwa along behind you. mai huffed at your embarrassing show of flirtatiousness, but you didn’t miss the slight flush of her cheeks as she turned from you while rounding the corner.
even as you were close to the door of your dorm at the end of the hall, you could still hear mai berating todo for how embarrassing he was.
“i think she likes me.” a cat like grin overtook your face as you stopped in front of your dorm.
“utahime said your uniform would be folded on your bed, once you’re changed you can join us for sparring.” miwa smiled bashful smile. she’d probably chosen to ignore your previous statement in hopes of not being dragged into any drama.
“thanks miwa!” you grinned and gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, to which she simply looked away timidly.
“it’s no problem, really.” she waved off your appreciation. “but between the two of us, i think you may be right about mai liking you.”
she bowed before running off, probably to get ready for sparring, leaving you grinning like an idiot in response to her revelation.
maybe the feeling was kinda mutual.
you were quick to change into your all black uniform pants and jacket, then breaking into a stride to the yard where sparring took place. that was, until you realized you were wandering rather aimlessly considering, you know, you didn’t really know where the yard was yet. peering around the hallway, your eye caught on an oh so familiar girl adorned in baggy black pants.
“hey mai!” you almost had it in you to feel bad for approaching her yet again.
almost.
“i’m kinda lost, d’you think i could walk with you?”
she nodded a yes in response, motioning with a hand for you to follow her.
after a one too many moments of awkward silence, you decided you’d have to be the one to bite the bullet and break it. “you know that thing todo was saying earlier about having a question he needed to ask me?” she looked up in a way that made her seem as if she’d just been brought out of being lost in her thoughts.
“what of it?”
“do you happen to know what it was? he seemed pretty serious about it.” well, as serious as todo could get.
to your surprise, mai attempted to stifle a chuckle, before a laugh managed to slip past her.
“it’s this totally dumb thing he likes to do.” she tilted her head slightly back so she looked at the ceiling as she talked. “to size people up, he likes to ask them what their type in women is.”
you let out a snort as you laughed, though you couldn’t say you were surprised.
“he seems like such a hopeless romantic, it’s hilarious.”
“yeah.” a soft smile painted her face. “but you’d better get an answer ready, if he thinks you’re too boring he’ll beat your ass.”
“really now?” you raised an eyebrow, to which she nodded in confirmation. “what does he classify as ‘boring’?”
she shrugged. “depends. whenever someone prefers personality he either beats the shit out of them or starts crying.” it was clear in her tone how exasperated her friend made her.
“what did you say? when he asked you?” you turned to face her fully, which made her realize how close together your faces were. for just a beat, she paused to examine your expression. despite your earlier teasing, you seemed sincere in your question. either you were oblivious to the blush spreading across her face, or you chose not to tease her for it.
before an answer could leave her parted open lips, she was interrupted by a voice calling both of your names.
“hey toshinori!” you smiled at the stone faced boy in front of you as you used mai’s shoulder as an armrest.
“it’s noritoshi.” the monotony in his voice made you stifle a laugh. “and you guys are running late for sparring, what were you even doing?”
her eyes glowered in his direction, clearly not in the mood to play hall monitor with him. “i was just being welcoming to our new classmate.”
he ignored her passive aggressive response and turned to you. “todo keeps asking where you are, so you might wanna hurry up.” with a swift turn, he began walking down the hallway with long strides.
once he seemed out of earshot, you burst into laughter, and from your arm you could feel mai’s shoulders shake from repressing a giggle.
“he walks like a goddamn penguin!” you referred to how his arms were wide at his sides and his stiff steps.
“him and mechamaru walk the exact same way, i’m starting to think he might just be a more advanced robot.” her dry tone was combatted by the way the corners of her mouth turned up in a lopsided grin.
“though, we should probably get going, even if i get a pass for being new here, i’m not sure how utahime would react to you being late.”
you didn’t notice how her eyes softened at your concern for her as you beckoned for her to lead the way.
“i don’t think she’d mind, after all utahime loves me for my pep and bubbly spirit.” her voice oozed with sarcasm while you smiled to yourself about how you’d managed to get her to loosen up.
the walk to the sparring field was quick, and it made you wonder how much time you two had taken just talking at the end of the hallway. you were greeted by the sight of your strangely styled classmates (plus the literal robot) beginning to split into pairs. before you could turn to mai with the question of partnering up, you were greeted by a todo with a firm hand on your shoulder.
“we’re partnering up, new kid!” it was more of a declaration than an offer. you smiled awkwardly as his shadow enveloped your figure, seeing mai be whisked away by momo out of the corner of your eye. if you’d looked close enough, you’d have been able to see the annoyed look mai sent at todo and the smug smile momo flashed at mai and her obvious display of jealousy.
you planted your feet on the ground that was caked in dust and prepared yourself into a fighting stance, with fists raised and legs steady. though it seemed you’d gotten prepared to defend from an attack that wasn’t coming. instead, todo marched over to you confidently. mai glanced over from her sparring, knowing exactly what was coming.
he called your name in his usual booming voice, which you were surprised he actually knew.
“what is your type in women?” he towered over you, his expression dead serious despite his absolutely ridiculous question.
feeling mai’s eyes trailing you, you glanced over to her. she mouthed something to you about not saying personality. you failed to hold back a chuckle, which seemed to snap todo out of his intimidating glower.
his gaze followed yours, which was still focused on mai for the briefest of moments.
“ohhhh i get it…you’ve got a thing for mai, huh?” he sounded like a child about to blackmail their sibling.
a furious blush overtook mai’s face practically instantly, while momo covered her mouth with a hand to suppress a laugh. you glanced between a boastful looking todo and a tomato looking mai.
“yeah i guess you could say she’s my type.” you shrugged nonchalantly, to which you could hear mai sputtering something about how you were just trying to embarrass her. miwa had a sheepish look on her face as she walked over to check on mai, though it only seemed to make her more flustered when miwa asked if she wanted to go to the nurse.
while witnessing the admittedly charming trainwreck happening in front of you, there was a moment for you to look back at todo.
“are you CRYING?”
“i have no shame in it. it’s like mai is my daughter and i’m walking her down the aisle at her wedding.”
“it’s absolutely nothing like that, todo.”
he ignored your blatant confusion at his reaction. “young love is so beautiful. you have my full blessing to date mai.” he sniffles and wiped his nose, then held it out for you to shake, to which you scrunched your nose in disgust.
“thanks for the ‘blessing’ and all, but now that we’re done with that, i think i should go spar with lover girl over there.” you threw your thumb over your shoulder to point to mai.
“you guys should join me and takeda for a double date! we can arrange a date once she finally answers my calls.” todo had a large grin, shameless about his tear stained cheeks.
“how about it?” you raised an eyebrow at mai, who had become significantly more composed in the time you hadn’t been looking in her direction.
“absolutely not.” she deadpanned, though her impassive look didn’t last very long as she leaned over to whisper in your ear, cracking a small smile reserved for you. “i’d rather we just hang out without that oaf, you know it’s embarrassing for them to see how you get me acting like a schoolgirl with her first crush.”
the moment paused for a split second for her to glance at todo, who was staring you down like a disapproving father.
“plus lord knows takeda isn’t answering him anytime soon.”
“I HEARD THAT!”
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doberbutts · 4 months ago
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Idk if you are open to looking so immediately but Fenris and I go to Fearless in New Jersey and there's a Fernando Dosta seminar starting today and rolling into Monday or Tuesday. I'm heading there after work today to have him work Fenris tomorrow thru Sunday, so if you want to audit then you can come and watch and hang out and see if the vibe works for you. And meet the curly boy too. I find Fearless to be very friendly to the marginalized among us- the whole club is built on inclusion, and we have a grand time supporting each other. There's some playful ribbing between members (like for instance another queer member and I were teasing each other about our carabiner of keys hooked to our belts, or me teasing a black member about being ashy when he asked me for lotion and him teasing me back bc I did in fact have lotion on me) but it is in friendship and in jest, no deliberate cruelty is allowed.
Many clubs do require you to be sponsored to join, but unless stated otherwise most will allow auditors to come and watch and even some outsiders to come play and see if they like it. So don't be put off by the sponsorship thing unless you are actively looking to join rather than just get a taste.
There's Big Apple in NY, West Penn in PA, and Genesis in CT as well- I have not been to any of them and part of that is because of some things I have heard regarding the work they do with off breeds. Although dobes are a protection breed, they are considered an off breed in mondio and I am a bit unwilling to put my dog on a decoy rumored to dislike the breed. Mondio is pretty expensive, so I don't want to spend the money on training that will set us back instead of progressing us forward. Some of these clubs also didn't get back to me when I reached out two years ago, so instead of going to clubs much more local, I drive the 4+ hours to Southern NJ. I also happen to know the president as a friend, so I already sort of had an in.
I'm curious what club had poor behavior. But I understand if you don't want the drama in sharing. I know that at my club, sometimes heavy topics do come up, but even those across the political spectrum tend to agree where it counts as far as the golden rules of "don't be a jerk to other people" and "everyone deserves a fair shake". I had a really long discussion about race politics with a visiting black self-labelled conservative this spring and he was more in agreement of liberal politics than not (I find this typical of the more sensible black conservatives- most are center-right instead of far-right and willing to toe into center-left based on the policy), many are gun owners but support common sense gun laws and want action taken to prevent mass shootings, all of the men are vocally pro-choice, etc.
Disability specifically hasn't come up in a meaningful way but the training director and the secretary both work for Seeing Eye and a few other members have pretty serious mental illness they've occasionally brought up in conversation and everyone's been pretty chill about it. I mentioned that I have a heart problem and needed to sit bc I was starting to feel faint in the heat and was immediately offered a chair. And when I mentioned that whenever I do manage to get surgery I won't be able to hold Fenris' leash for two months, several members immediately offered to hold the leash for me so that I could continue to train during my recovery. So I wouldn't have reason to think it wouldn't be a good fit with disability.
I'm sure this has been talked about but I cannot remember who talked about it to go looking for it. So anyone who has or does participate in bite sports, this question is for you.
What things do you look for in assessing if a club is a good fit for you? I am looking into Mondio clubs for a potential/future puppy. (And for anyone wondering, no I do not plan to introduce this sport to Forte.)
I visited one relatively close (less than two hours away) to me last summer and liked the head trainer/decoy. I found them to be very knowledgeable, personable, and they work with some folks who have dogs from Forte's breeder. Unfortunately I did not enjoy the vibe from the group who was there that day. I am both disabled and queer and those topics came up, unprompted by me, and I wasn't thrilled with the direction said conversations took.
There is another club that is about two to three hours away that I really like based on their website and am heavily considering asking to hang out and watch for a day. But also I'm nervous asking because they talk about being sponsored by a current member and I don't know anyone.
And of course, I am second guessing myself on whether or not I'm being too sensitive and should give the first club another try. Since there seems to be less of a barrier to entry.
So yeah, words from those with first hand experience on how they chose their club would be super helpful.
I am open to clubs in NJ, NY, PA, or even MD. If folks are familiar with clubs in those areas that they personally recommend, that would be awesome too.
Thoughts welcome on this post or via private message. Much thanks y'all.
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danniburgh · 4 years ago
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Give you what you want (Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo)
Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader x Horacio Carrillo
Summary: You’ve been crushing hard on Javier - and Colonel Carrillo. And when they both find out about it, they can’t help but indulge you.
Word count: +11.1k
Chapter warnings: mild angst, mentions of violence, divorce talk, discussion of polyamorous relationship. OT3 SMUT, oral (m and f receiving), fingering, double penetration, alcohol, a lot of cum lol
A/N: this is a collab between me, @maharani-radha-writes​ and @queenofthefaceless, okay, yes this is a repost (basically the blog in which this os was posted blocked me). originally posted on april 6th 2021
ao3 // Masterlist // ko-fi
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Carrillo slammed his face on the steering wheel of his car with a groan. He had just spent all day in court finalizing his divorce—which had been going on for months—and just as he had gotten home, he realized that he had forgotten his service pistol at the office. Something he was not allowed to bring in the courtroom.
Fuckers.
He had separation anxiety from it, so even though he had multiple spares in the house, he had one trusty weapon, and he wouldn’t be caught dead without it. He glanced at the clock, and saw that it was only eight o’clock, so it wasn’t too late for him to swing back to base and grab it. Shaking his head, he turned the ignition of his car back on and reversed out of his driveway to head back to the station.
When he got there, he used his keys to enter through the back doorway, not really wanting to have to greet the guards at the front. He was just… way too done with people that day. Although he and his by then ex-wife had separated amicably (or as amicably as it could get), the divorce had taken a huge toll on him. He and Juliana had separated about five months before, and he had spent that time sitting in lawyers’ conference rooms, arguing over this and that. He was ready to just give her everything and anything she wanted if it meant he could get that painful process over with.
Truth be told, Carrillo was lonely. He had been for a long time, even while he was still married to Juliana. They had been less of a married couple and more like roommates for the past year at least, and it was getting to them both. His job was tough and dangerous–Juliana didn’t understand a lot of it. To be fair, he kept most of it from her, but that got exhausting after a while. He longed to just...let go, and he couldn’t do that with her. And after a while, she had decided that staying married to him (and his job) was more trouble than it was worth. He couldn’t blame her, not one bit.
It didn’t matter any more. He had firmly closed that chapter of his life, and was ready to move on. He didn’t know what the future looked like for him, but the only thing that he was sure of was that Pablo Escobar would be dead. He would make sure of it–even if he died trying.
After finding his service pistol, which had been stuffed in a holster under his desk, Carrillo closed the door to his office, and proceeded to walk down the hallway to the back exit. But he stopped when he heard voices coming from the bullpen.
Odd.
He hadn’t seen anyone when he had come in. He turned slightly and strained his ears to try to see if he could discern who it was. Then he heard the distinct Southern American drawl of none other than Steve Murphy. The man had been pulling late nights in the office ever since his wife got up and left him.
“All right, kiddo, care to tell me what the fuck your problem is?”
Who–? Was “kiddo”? It certainly couldn’t be Peña. It was a Friday night, surely Peña was off….doing something (or someone) else.
“What’s my problem? What’s your problem, Murph?”
Oh, it was you. The lone female agent of the DEA. Carrillo had been quite wary of you when you had joined the team about a year before. He really wasn’t sure what, if anything, you would be bringing to the table. And he thought that having two DEA agents was two too many already. But over time, you had proven to be a strong, capable, and intelligent partner, and his respect for you had grown.
Bringing you to Colombia had been a good decision, on the part of your superiors.
Now that he had identified the two people still stuck in the base, he should have been satisfied and been on his way. But something about Steve’s tone of voice kept him rooted to the spot. He really, really shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, especially since he was sure that it was a conversation he was not meant to hear.
“You’re on edge. A lot more than usual,” Steve said, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing, Steve. Just drop it,” you grumbled.
“Oh, so there is something?” Steve snarked, “Look, I normally would back off and leave you alone, but you’ve been highly distracted lately. And it’s affecting your work. I need to know what’s up or at least confirm that you’re going to get this resolved soon because we need your head in the game.”
Now that Steve mentioned it, Carrillo had noticed that you were...not yourself. And you hadn’t been for a while. But Carrillo was too caught up in his own drama to give it much of a thought.
“I’m sorry,” you sighed, “I’ll try not to be so scatterbrained. I’ll fix it, I promise.”
“Is this what I think it is? The thing you told Connie that I’m not supposed to know about?” Steve asked.
Carrillo knew he absolutely needed to leave. That was not a conversation he should be listening to. But he just could not help it.
“You’re going to have to be more specific, Steve. I’ve told Connie a lot of things,” you chuckled, nervously.
“I mean about–” there was a pause, presumably Steve looking around to check that nobody was there, “–your feelings. For, uh, ya know, Peña?”
Oh. That was news.
“And–uh–Carrillo I think?” Steve continued.
Wait...what?
Carrillo whipped his head around so fast that he winced as his neck twinged in protest. Since when...since when did you have feelings? For him? And Peña? What was happening? Someone needed to shoot him because that could not be real.
“Must you say it aloud?” you hissed.
“I’m sorry, kiddo, I don’t mean to embarrass you,” Steve apologized, “And normally I would mind my own fucking business, but this is getting out of hand. You really don’t think I notice the cows’ eyes you make at Peña when he’s not looking?”
“I don’t do that!” you denied, indignantly.
“Okay fine, maybe that’s a bit dramatic,” Steve conceded, “But the point still stands. You definitely need to get this fixed. Have you thought, oh I don’t know, telling Peña? Or even Carrillo?”
“Are you crazy?” you stammered, “Do you have any idea what that would do to my career? Not to mention that Carrillo is...fucking married?”
“Well, he’s divorced now,” Steve clarified, “And nobody has to know. It’s nobody else’s business but yours. I’m just saying, think about it ok? You deserve an outlet, just like everyone else.”
Carrillo decided that it was best to not stay and hear what you had to say to that. Instead, he hightailed it out of the base, as quickly as he could, trying to keep his footsteps light so as not to alert you and Steve to his presence. Once he was finally in the safety of his car, he put his head back onto the seat and let out a long breath, trying to figure out what he was going to do with that information. He couldn’t deny that the idea of you having feelings for him was incredibly flattering. You were a very guarded individual and quite hard to read sometimes–not so dissimilar to him. He would have never, in a million years, guessed that you would be interested in him, and that was mostly due to your closed off persona.
But to find out that you had feelings for both him and Peña? That was an interesting development. Carrillo didn’t know how to feel about that. But he can’t deny that it intrigued him...more than it should have. His mother would be completely mortified if she found out that he was entertaining this--whatever it was.
But his mother was not here. His wife was gone, and had taken the kids with her. It was just him, and his large house. And now, apparently, you and possibly Peña. Carrillo tilted his head contemplatively and started the ignition of his car.
Maybe...just maybe, there was something to this whole charade.
**Scene Break 1**
Steve was tired. Scratch that, he was exhausted. Not physically, but mentally.
Javier had been looking at you for far too long, and Steve could taste the yearning and the tension that lingered around the office when Peña looked at you. It was maddening, and Steve had no idea how Peña had managed this long without jumping you. After all, he never seemed to have a problem getting a woman’s attention and keeping it. So, why were you so different?
And the worst part of this whole circus is that you were so blissfully unaware of it. It made Steve’s mouth foam with rage.
When he told Connie over the phone, the previous night, what you had said to him and how you had confessed to being attracted to both men, she actually convinced him to talk to Javi on your behalf. Because Connie knew you, and she knew you would just shut up about it, guard it as if you were a dragon with a treasure, never say a thing, and suffer in silence until your feelings went away. And if they didn’t. Too bad. Steve hadn’t wanted to get involved. After all, you were an adult, and Javier was an adult. You should be able to sort these things out yourself. But alas, that had not happened. And if Steve didn’t do something about it, it was going to get out of hand, quickly.
So when you got up from your desk and got out of the office, Steve walked to Javier and slammed his hand on a pile of files that Javier was almost hiding behind.
“Yes, Murphy, how can I help you?” Peña drawled, trying to keep his voice as even and unaffected as possible.
“Don’t give me that innocent bullshit, Peña,” Steve growled, “I’m so sick of you.”
“What could I have possibly done now?” Javier huffed, pulling a cigarette out of his pack and lighting it. He figured that if he played dumb, Steve would go away.
Alas.
“You, and her,” Steve said, emphasizing his point by jabbing his finger in the direction of the door you had just walked out of, “There’s something between the two of you. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
Javier decided not to answer that. Instead he just took a puff of his cigarette and stared at Steve, daring him to continue.
“I’m serious Peña, stop playing coy. This is starting to affect your working relationship, and I’m getting sick of it,” Steve grumbled, “Do something about it. Now.”
It took a few moments of silence, but Javier finally decided to concede to Steve. Truth was, Javier’s head was full of thoughts. Full of you. Truth be told, getting infatuated with you was just a matter of time.
You were just… frustratingly attractive, incredibly strong and so damn smart. A dangerous combination, you were almost perfect. And that, scared the shit out of him. It had been a long time since Javier felt like that; he didn’t like the vulnerability of it all, he didn’t like how it was way too apparent that whatever you did, for small that it was, affected him in some way. He didn’t like the fact that he wanted to be with you all the time, see you all the time, talk to you all the time. He wanted to protect you all the time even when he knew you could perfectly protect yourself. And he had been feeling like that for months.
Javier interpreted that as karma, getting so madly, deeply into you and getting absolutely nothing in return. Until Steve chimed in, nosy as ever, to speak about something that was clear as a water drop but he just kept denying from himself.
He replayed what Steve had told him while he puffed from his cigarette and for a split second, and let himself smile at the words of his partner.
Steve was right. He was aware of how much he had been missing and how affected his job seemed to be because of how much time he spent thinking about you. It was so unlike him, and it was very unprofessional. But he just couldn’t help it.
You and your strikingly beautiful being. You letting him hold you close. You, with your hands on him. You and how sweet your lips must taste. You and how your naked body must look in the dimmed lights of his bedroom. Fuck.
So he decided, after his partner all but scolded him about being too dumb to realize, that he was going to face you and just… make things happen.
Steve smiled to himself while looking down at a file when Javier stood up from his own desk and walked out of the office.
“Attaboy,” he mumbled to himself.
**Scene Break 2**
You weren’t sure what it was, but suddenly the air in that bullpen had become oppressive, and you just needed to get out. Well, frankly...you weren’t stupid. You knew what was causing you to feel this way. It was stupid Steve and his stupid way of being right all the time, how the fuck did he do that? At some point, you were going to have to tell Javier (and possibly Carrillo, as well) how you felt, but if you could put it off for longer, you were absolutely going to do so.
You sat on the concrete wall bordering the police base, observing quietly as the citizens of Medellín went about their day, getting lunch and catching up with their colleagues. There was a man selling arepas just a few feet from you, and the smell was amazing. But no matter how tantalizing the scent was, you just couldn’t bring yourself to eat. All you needed was some air. Yeah, that’s what you needed. You’d be fine after a few moments.
Unfortunately, your peace wasn’t to last long, and as you were soon to discover, your observational skills would need a check up because Colonel Horacio Carrillo himself had just plopped himself next to you, and you hadn’t even noticed. Carrillo, for his part, waited a few moments before clearing his throat, startling you from your thoughts, and successfully getting your attention.
Ah shit.
One of the exact men that you didn’t want to deal with right now was sitting right next to you.
Joy.
“Those arepas look fantastic,” he remarked in that lovely accent you really liked, “Do you want one?”
You shook your head.
“No thank you,” you mumbled, “I’m fine.”
Carrillo hummed.
“I’m sure we could find something else if you would prefer. There’s all kinds of food in Medellín,” he replied. But you refused again.
“No, really, I’m fine. I don’t want any food,” you said.
Carrillo tilted his head and clasped his hands together, leaning forward slightly. He gave a small, almost imperceptible smirk, and if you didn’t know him so well, you would have missed it.
“I see,” he observed, amusedly, “So, then, Agent. What do you want?”
You frowned, and furrowed your eyebrows. What...what was he doing?
“I–I don’t want anything,” you replied, completely flabbergasted.
“Hmmm,” Carrillo began, “I don’t believe you. I think you want something.”
You raised your eyebrows at that. You’d never known the Colonel to be so bold.
“I want Escobar dead,” you quipped, “Same as you, I suppose.”
“Ah yes, I certainly want that,” Carrillo agreed, “But I want something else. Something that I imagine might be the same as you.”
You scratched the back of your neck, nervously, not sure where this was going.
“All right, Colonel, I’ll bite. What is it that you want?” you questioned.
Carrillo adjusted his position on the wall, turning so that he was facing you squarely. He looked you straight in the eyes before taking a deep breath, as if he was working up the courage to say something.
“You.”
You felt the air leave your lungs, Carrillo’s face was a puzzle laid before you but before you could say something else, you heard a deep, timbered voice calling your name.
You reluctantly turned around and saw Peña walking up to the both of you, you felt Carrillo shift beside you and let out a sigh, as if he knew something like that would happen.
“I was looking for you,” Javier mumbled, almost as if he didn’t want anyone else to hear but you.
“So, you found me,” your voice was shaky after the Colonel’s admission, and you tried to control it “What?”
“Can we–uh–talk?” he said, and you looked back at Carrillo.
“Can it wait?” you pleaded.
“No,” Javier declared.
“I think I know what this is about,” Carrillo announced, and you frowned at him, asking with your eyes for him to elaborate. But he just stayed quiet, looking between you and Peña.
“What do you mean?” Javier huffed, “This is a private conversation that I need to have with her.”
“I think we all need to have this conversation,” Carrillo mumbled, looking at the ground for half a second before returning his gaze to you and Javier.
“What are you two on?” you asked, frantically, “I am so confused.”
Javier glanced at the Colonel, at the way he was all but shifting around like a nervous kid. He realized Carrillo moved like he was hiding something, like he had a secret he so wanted to confess.
“Do you know something?” Javier questioned him, furrowing his brow. The Colonel turned to study him and there was a small moment in which they said nothing, and their eyes just locked.
And there, Javier saw him, as he was. Colonel Horacio Carrillo was an honorable man, everyone knew that, but as he was honorable he was dark, and Javier had a small suspicion of what he knew and was badly hiding.
Javier felt himself smirk at the man and Carrillo smirked back, and Javi knew it. Because he never misses things like that. For him is like having a sixth sense, somehow enhanced by his career and his experience. He just knows. Javier had never been indifferent to men. After all, being honest with himself, he had a little crush on Steve before he saw the wedding band. And Carrillo was… just his type. He never thought he would have the chance to even get closer to the Colonel like that. In the end, the time was not right and he was quite sure Carrillo wasn’t like that.
Clearly, he had been mistaken.
“Okay you two, I’ve had enough,” you grumbled, “What is going on? I’m sick of these games.”
“This is not a game,” Carrillo said, finally looking at you, you felt your frown get deeper.
“Then what is it?” you demanded.
Javier shrugged and took one last look at Carrillo, as if to confirm his consent, and replied.
“An arrangement,” he deadpanned, “With both of us.”
“If you want it,” Carrillo added, quickly.
You shot up from the wall you were sitting on and turned to glare at both of them. Javier put his hands on his waist and leaned on a leg, and Carrillo stood up as well, clasped hands in front of him, just waiting for you to say something. Anything.
Javier glanced nervously at Carrillo from the corner of his eye, searching his face for any sign of hesitation. I hope this is gonna go how you were planning, Carrillo, he thought, Because if it doesn’t and she refuses to speak to me again after this...I swear to god–
“Where did you get this idea?” you blabbered, feeling the sting of nervousness and insecurity settling into your stomach. Along with something else in your lower belly you refused to acknowledge at all.
Javier sighed, and shook his head.
“Steve Murphy has a big mouth,” he murmured.
“Dios mío,” you exclaimed, “He told you both?”
“Well, he told me,” Javier said, running a hand through his hair, “I don’t know about our Colonel over here.”
Now it was Carrillo’s turn to look sheepish.
“No, he didn’t say anything to me,” Carrillo admitted, “I overheard the two of you talking the other day.”
“You eavesdropped on me?” you gasped, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. Is nothing I say private?”
Carrillo at least had the grace to look ashamed.
“It was an accident,” he tried to assure you, “But–I don’t regret listening in. I haven’t stopped thinking about it. About you.”
You scrubbed your face with your hands, trying to figure out what you were going to do. It wasn’t that you were–unhappy–more so embarrassed. You’d been carrying this secret for a long time now, and to have it so out in the open made you feel more exposed than ever. And you hated the feeling.
“I’m gonna need a minute,” you said, “Can we talk about this later? I need some space.”
Without waiting for a response, you briskly walked away from the police base and in the direction of the city. You weren’t sure where you were going or when you were going to be back. All that you knew was that your privacy had been massively violated, and you needed some space to collect yourself. Alone. And perhaps when you had calmed down, you could think about Carrillo and Peña’s proposal, like a functioning adult. But right now, you were too embarrassed (and aroused, let’s be real), to think straight.
Javier turned aside to look at Carrillo when your figure had disappeared into the city.
“So,” Javier broke the not-so-awkward silence, “Are you okay with this?”
Carrillo huffed at the question and glanced at the agent, noticing in him things he hadn't noticed before.
“Are you?”
Javier felt his stomach drop at the Colonel’s question… interesting.
“I’m all in,” he replied, smirking at Carrillo.
“Yo también.”
**Scene Break 3**
It was later in the afternoon by the time you had calmed down enough to return to work. You couldn’t believe what had happened today. You absolutely wanted to smack Steve. What you had told him was in confidence, and he had broken that trust. But you couldn’t deny that you were happy with the result. The idea of having even just one of those two men was enough to get you going, but both?
Men like them?
The pool of arousal was already forming in between your legs.
You could not deny how much you had wanted this, and how much you had been dreaming about it. And for a very long time. For god’s sake, you had lost sleep over this shit. It made you feel dirty, filthy, unprofessional. But you just couldn’t help it. You’d done a decent enough job of keeping your feelings in check, but now the cat was out of the bag.
And not only did these two men know how you felt. Apparently, they felt the same way. And for some godforsaken reason, they wanted you.
Were you really going to say no to an opportunity like that? Were you truly that stupid? No matter how much you were angry with Steve.
Connie would lose her shit when you'd call her to tell her about her husband’s work.
You walked into the bullpen and saw the office door opened, the first thing you saw was Javier’s face buried inside a file, his posture rigid and his hands grasping at the folder as if it were a lifeline.
He looked up and his eyes went wide when he saw you walk in.
But then you saw Murphy, sitting like nothing had happened and you saw red. You rushed at him and without a word your hand flew and you smacked him on the back of the head.
“What the fuck?” he yelled, and you heard Javier laughing behind you.
“You asshole,” you hissed, “Exactly what made you think it was a good idea to tell him? I trusted you to keep your mouth shut.”
“Excuse me,” Steve groaned, rubbing the back of his head, “I did you a fucking favor. I got tired of hanging around with you two idiots, just looking at each other and not saying shit.”
“You should not have done that,” you growled, fixing him with what you hoped was your most intimidating glare.
“Perhaps not,” Steve shrugged, “But I don’t regret it.”
“Can I–say something?” Javier asked behind you.
“No. Shut up.” you hissed without looking back at him.
“You do something like this again, and I’ll kill you,” you threatened Steve before storming out of the base, and into the parking lot. You sat in the driver’s seat of your car and banged your head against the steering wheel. You had had every intention of finding Peña and Carrillo and taking them up on their offer, but now all feelings of boldness had been once again replaced by shame and embarrassment. No doubt you were the talk of the police base, what with your massive crush on two of your colleagues.
Although you knew it was irrational, you couldn’t help but feel as though Carrillo and Peña were making fun of you. You knew it was stupid. Both of them were grown-ass men. They wouldn’t be so immature. If they didn’t like you at all, they would have just left you alone. But you just couldn’t help the raging insecurity you were feeling. Perhaps if you had actually told both of them, directly, how you felt, rather than let Steve Murphy do the hard work, then maybe you wouldn’t be feeling this way.
But that was all water under the bridge now, you supposed.
Later that night, you were heating up a pitiful TV-dinner in your apartment, not feeling up to eating, but you needed something, when your phone rang. You froze with the fork halfway to your mouth. There were only a handful of people who had your landline number, and even then, only a few of those people would have the guts to actually call it. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation.
Sighing, you trudged over to the phone and lifted the receiver to your ear.
“¿Sí?” you asked, quietly, and you heard the low voice of Colonel Carrillo on the other end.
“It’s me,” he said softly, “You left work rather abruptly. I called to see if you were fine.”
“As fine as I can be, given the circumstances,” you grumbled.
“I’m sorry that things transpired the way they did, truly,” Carrillo mumbled, sounding genuinely apologetic, “But I meant it when I said I don’t regret finding out.”
“Of course you wouldn’t,” you snarked, “You’re not the one whose colleague breached her trust.”
There was a pause before Carrillo spoke again.
“Do you regret it?”
Now it was your turn to pause, contemplating your words and how you would respond. You didn’t want to hurt him, but at the same time, you wanted to make it clear that you weren’t pleased with the means---even if the end was fantastic.
“I regret how this started,” you replied, slowly, not trusting yourself to say anything further.
Carrillo hummed over the line, contemplating your words.
“I can’t blame you for that,” he said, “But forget about Steve for a moment, please. Have you thought about it?”
You inhaled and held your breath for ten counts, trying to calm down your racing heart. You couldn’t deny that just the mere thought of being in the same room with these two men, especially in a non-platonic setting, was difficult for you.
“I think you know the answer to that, Colonel. You aren’t stupid,” you quipped, “Have you discussed this with Peña? I must admit, I am surprised at you both. This doesn’t seem like something either of you would be interested in.”
“We’ve discussed this, absolutely,” Carrillo said, recalling the deeper conversation he had with Peña earlier that day after you had slapped Steve, “I think we’ve both surprised ourselves, if I’m being honest. But if the attraction is there, it’s there. But I want you to know, there is no pressure. This only goes as far as you want it to go.”
You frowned at that.
“What do you mean?” you pressed.
“Querida,” he sighed, “What happens between the three of us–well–Peña and I know where we stand–it’s up to you now. If you don’t want this, then just say the word. We’ll pretend this conversation never happened.”
You took a shuddering breath and tried to respond as best as you can.
“I–”
“You don’t have to give me an answer now,” Carrillo interrupted gently, “Think about it. Make sure it’s what you want. Then you can let us know.”
“I–ok,” you stuttered, for lack of a better response.
“I should leave you to your evening. But think about it, and let me know what you decide ,” Carrillo said, “Have a good night, querida.”
“Sure, good night, Colonel,” you mumbled, hearing the click on the other end, indicating that Carrillo had hung up.
You passed the rest of the evening in relative silence, going about your mundane business with an extra air of heaviness. Slowly you could feel the embarrassment from the day give way to desire. As you lay by yourself in your bed, clutching at your pillow, you couldn’t help the acute sense of loneliness that you felt. After all, you hadn’t really had anyone before you came to Colombia, and your job here certainly killed whatever chance of having a relationship you might have had. It was why you had so easily fallen for both of your colleagues.
You were lonely. And they were lonely too. But it wasn’t just out of loneliness. You’d seen what Peña was like when he just wanted to have a warm body next to him. Just as it had taken courage for you to confess how you felt to Steve, it must have taken just as much strength for Carrillo and Peña to admit the same to you. This wasn’t going to be a one time thing–born out of isolation and tragedy–it would be something much more meaningful than that. You could feel it.
You glanced at the clock, seeing that it was just past midnight. Although you knew that Carrillo usually stayed up late, you didn’t want to bother him, so you dialed the number of the only other person who you knew would be up this late.
“Hello?” Javier Peña gruffed on the other end, clearly annoyed at having been woken up.
“Javier, it’s me,” you said, by way of greeting. You heard some rustling of bedsheets, no doubt Javier was fully awake now.
“Are you all right?” he asked, concern coloring his tone.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” you assured him, “I just–I’ve thought about your offer. Yours and Carrillo’s.”
You heard a sharp intake of breath over the phone.
“And what do you say, cariño?” he questioned, hope ringing in his voice.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.
“Yes. I’m saying yes.”
**Scene Break 4**
You sat inside Javier’s car, silently, as he drove the two of you through the streets of Medellín towards Carrillo’s address. It was a Friday–exactly a week from when Carrillo had overheard you talking to Steve, and you were completely floored at how your life had changed that fast. You didn’t regret anything though, not one bit.
You were nervous though. Having one of these men was enough to make you swoon, but both? You weren’t sure what was going to happen. All you knew is that it would be a fantastic night. You just hoped that you could keep up.
A hand on your knee brought you back to the present, and you glanced over to see that Javier was eyeing you out of the corner of his eye as he drove.
“Relax, cariño,” he ordered, “It’s just us.”
You laughed.
“I know, that’s what I’m worried about,” you said, jokingly. But Javier wasn’t having it.
“Why would that make you nervous?” he asked, turning to face you when you had stopped for a red light.
“You two are my friends and colleagues,” you stated, “I don’t–want to disappoint you. Especially since we will have to go back to work after the weekend.”
Javier shook his head and pressed down harder on the accelerator, hoping that if he got you to Carrillo’s place faster, you’d stop your fatalistic thoughts.
“None of that,” he grumbled, shutting down your line of thinking as quickly as he could, “What happens between us tonight stays between us. That’s it. No pressure or expectations. Just enjoy yourself, okay?”
You nodded, not quite trusting yourself to speak. And thankfully, you didn’t have to say anything because you and Javier finally pulled up in front of Carrillo’s house. It was a much larger property than you had expected, with a beautifully-kept lawn and a mango tree just at the front of the house. It was a stunning place to live, and the thought that Carrillo had been staying there alone, with nobody to share it with, for the past several months just left you heartbroken.
Well. That was likely about to change tonight.
“You’re still sure, cariño?” Javier asked, taking your hand in his and staring at your knuckles, “If you’ve changed your mind, I can drive you back now. No questions asked.”
You shook your head.
“I’m completely sure, Javi. Don’t worry,” you assured him, and Javier nodded.
“Bueno,” he mumbled, “Let’s go.” And with that, the two of you walked up the path to Carrillo’s front door and rang the bell. Carrillo answered almost immediately, face relaxing at the sight of you.
“I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding the place,” he greeted, stepping back to allow the two of you to enter his house.
“I have some wine if you would like,” Carrillo suggested, leading you and Javier into the kitchen after the two of you had kicked off your shoes.
Carrillo walked straight to the fridge and took out what appeared to be a pretty expensive brand of wine, but neither you nor Javier said anything in regards to it. Instead, you both sat down and exchanged a series of fugitive glances at each other.
You thought you needed the wine, the bitter, strong taste of alcohol to run through your veins in order to be able to process the moment in its entirety. But suddenly, as you glared at both Javier and Carrillo, there was no need for anything else. No liquid distraction to be drunk beforehand, no ridiculous and meaningless pleasantries or comfort words. You knew those men. You trusted them with your life every day when you went out there on the streets, and you trusted them just as much now. Their mere presence was sufficient to relax you and ease the tension, although you thought they would both agree that the tension was thicker than you could’ve imagined.
“I trust you both, and I care about you both, so damn much.”
It came out of the blue; you weren’t even sure you thought about it in your mind, and yet you said it nonetheless, standing up. Both of them seemed a little surprised by your impromptu confession, but patiently waited for your continuation, if there was any to begin with.
“What I mean is… why make this harder on ourselves? Why bother with small talk and awkward conversations when we can just… do it, enjoy the night?”
Javier was the first one who smirked. And of course he would, he was probably used to a lot of those moments, or similar ones, and had almost no issue baring it all, you thought. You swore, for a brief, almost too rushed moment, that you saw Carrillo hesitate with saying something and averting his eyes from both you and Javier, but you brushed it off. Instead, he looked tall and mighty at you, as his official position required, and smiled gallantly at you.
“You are the one in charge tonight,” he told you.
Simple, yet effective.
From the moment you heard that sentence, it did something to your ego. It gave you an unexpected boost of confidence, it sparked a desire, a flame so bright and hot you wouldn’t have believed it to be true in any other situation.
You took a few steps closer to Carrillo, all the while having Javier watch the scene unfold from the kitchen entrance. He stood up when you did, out of some long-forgotten courtesy that he didn’t used to care about anymore, and he just knew where it was all headed. He recognized the look in your eyes, the longing on your face. He knew what it meant, how much it must’ve consumed you, and he felt oddly enticed and captivated by it.
Just as swiftly as the night began, Carrillo’s hands rested on your waist while he kissed you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he only brought you closer to him; his lips tasted surprisingly sweet, with just a faint tint of nicotine. Your chest was pressed against his, warm clothed skin found yours and you shivered against him. His hands gripped your waist as if saying farewell to them and he slid them up your body. You could feel Peña’s eyes fixed in your bodies, staring at the scene, and when the Colonel broke the kiss to nibble at your neck, you opened your eyes to see him next to you; half-lidded brown deep eyes, an opened bottle of wine in one hand and his lower lip in the other. Your skin was burning, and you had barely been touched.
You smiled at him when Carrillo took your jacket off, Peña smirked and took a sip of wine directly from the bottle, careless about any pleasantries.
Carrillo’s wet tongue latched softly at your pulse point and ripped a low moan out of you, you closed your eyes again when his hands gripped your ass over the fabric of your jeans.
“Colonel, please,” you muttered, sighing as you felt his large hands had fun with your flesh and grip it after hearing the way you called him.
“Words, querida” he just replied, putting some distance between your wet skin and his lips.
“More,” you bit your lip, Carrillo smirked at you and you noticed the way his eyes darkened with desire in front of you. He turned to look at Javier, who was still standing at the kitchen entrance, palming his erection over his jeans.
“Bring that,” Carrillo said, pointing at the bottle, then slid his hand from your ass to the small of your back and guided you towards the staircase.
Between your hazed eyes and the cloud of lust that had begun to invade your mind you looked around Carrillo’s space and wondered how a man like him could live in a place that big. You smiled to yourself when he put his hand on the small of your back and soon enough Peña caught up to you, you felt his ever so imposing presence behind you.
Carrillo opened the door to the bedroom and pushed you softly inside.
You didn’t even have time to take your surroundings in when you felt a pair of warm hands find your hips and a set of lips grazing at your earlobe. Your eyes closed by themselves and the sweet, strong smell of Javier’s cologne invaded your nostrils as he pulled your back flush against his chest.
“Sh–shit,” you let out, half a whisper, half a moan, when you felt Carrillo’s hands roam around your waist.
You were losing yourself between the touch of the two of them, you shivered when Carrillo cupped your breast as Javier nibbled at the skin of your neck, from behind, you tilted your head to the side to give him more room to do whatever–the–fuck he pleased with your neck.
“Mírate, chiquita,” Carrillo whispered, you felt his breath on your lips and when you re-opened your eyes you saw him inches away from your face “you’re already wrecked.”
You felt Javier chuckling against your flushed skin, and you bit your lower lip, bringing a hand to the Colonel’s nape to pull him closer and kiss him again.
One of Javier’s hands found itself under your shirt, his mouth was moving and his other hand pulled softly at your shirt over your shoulder to find more skin to lick and kiss. Carrillo found the hem of your shirt and broke the kiss to look at you, as if asking for permission and reassurance that you wanted what he wanted. Javier watched the silent exchange and smirked against the skin of your shoulder, he gave it a last brush of his mustache and a last kiss before you nodded to the Colonel and he helped you out of the garment.
Carrillo smiled to himself when he saw what you’ve been hiding under it, a black, only-lace bra that showed the shade of your nipples, you bit your lip again when you took in his disheveled figure, his notorious erection under his military green pants that made the pool between your legs grow.
“How are you this fucking beautiful?” Javier muttered behind you, his mouth leaving a trail of kisses behind your ear to your nape.
Your breath hitched when Carrillo kneeled in front of you and you felt your chest heaving with desire when his large fingers dextrely unbuttoned your jeans and his thumbs hooked on the hem. He looked at you again and you nodded for a second time. Javier looked over your shoulder at the Colonel slowly sliding your jeans off your hips then your legs and he left his hands roam around the now naked skin of your torso. Your hands landed on the back of his head, and he took the hint, attacking the skin of your neck once again.
Carrillo threw your jeans away once he helped you out of them and you moaned loudly when his lips grazed against your knee. One of your hands dropped to grab Carrillo’s head as his trail of kisses moved up, up, up until he reached the soft skin where your thigh and your hip joined. You were sure he could smell your arousal, you were sure he could feel it at that point and you didn’t care, for once you let yourself only feel and let all thought out of your mind while you felt two mouths, two men, take care of you.
There was no hesitation from Javier’s side as his fingers gently grazed up your spine, expertly unclasping your bra, taking in the image of the straps loosening on your smooth skin. He was damn near panting at the mere sight, but he had to remind himself that that was only the tip of the iceberg. The moans you were letting escape your mouth as Carrillo pressed gentle kisses on your inner thighs aided him in no way. He felt himself get harder and harder and fought off raging instincts to turn that moment into another one of his one-night stands.
Javier made sure he tasted your skin while he took the straps from both sides between his fingers and slid them off your shoulders, he felt you shivering under his hands and over Horacio’s mouth and you could feel the smirk on your skin, once the bra came off, Javier took your chin and moved your head to face him, he pressed his mouth on yours, his tongue hungry for your scent, invading your cavities and feeling your warmth rush through his body with the speed of light. Everything about your scent was intoxicating and consuming, and ever so addicting that he could barely find it in himself to stop.
But then his calloused hands found your breasts and oh–oh, shit.
That first squeeze, tantalizingly slow and powerful, took you out completely. You gasped, and you weren’t sure if it was Horacio’s warm breath in between your legs or Javier fondling your breasts, but you embraced the overwhelming effect both had on you. Javier squeezed again, and moved around to locate the sweet torture of his mouth onto your nipples, taking one in his mouth whilst his thumb moved over the other one, twisting it in between his fingers as he nibbled at your skin. His tongue left a glistening trail as he peppered kisses in between your breasts, moving up your sternum, collarbones and neck and focusing on one particular spot that seemed to drive you wild. So much so that you reached behind your back to grab a handful of his hair, pull him in closer however you could.
“Lay her down, Peña,” Carrillo cooed, and the man followed suit.
You saw the Colonel untuck his shirt and take it off while Javier kneeled on the bed and helped you lay down on it, the softness of the sheets embraced you and the coldness made you whimper softly.
It was a premiere for him to witness Javier Peña, of all people, being so submissive and attentive, but he had other matters to focus on at the moment. His mouth left your already glistening and plump lips to grab the bottle of wine, your eyes followed him as you felt Carrillo’s hands spread your legs open and kiss the inside of your legs again, Javier came back to the bed and kneeled next to you, his hand gripping the bottle and the other cupping your face, he smiled softly at you and took a sip from the bottle; you moaned when Carrillo’s hands worked to get you out of your lace panties and Javier leaned down to you, the hand that cupped your face moved to your chin and he opened your mouth with his thumb, letting the wine pour from his mouth to yours, the wine was warm and it tasted sweet, when you closed your mouth and swallowed, Javier’s thumb grazed your lips and you heard a hard pant next to you, you turned to see Carrillo’s lusted face, you gave him a soft smile and he all but threw himself to you, kissing your mound, you moaned again and Javier leaned back, bringing the chilled bottle closer to your body, letting the tip of it graze against your warm skin, between the cold sensation and Carrillo’s lips tasting you, you were about to scream, Javier looked at you, smirked and pour some of the wine all over your breasts and abdomen, immediately reaching down on your again to lick the liquid off. A bit of the wine had traveled down your abdomen to your lower belly and found its way into Carrillos mouth, the feeling of the cold wine and their tongues made you growl. You had two pairs of equally sinful and skilled lips teasing and licking deliciously well over your exposed skin, and you had half of mind to grab either one of them and get to business. You couldn’t recall the last time you felt so aroused, but it was all a masterful torture and all for a good time. If anyone else was allowed to have their downtime, why shouldn’t you?
It was somewhat futile to even attempt to please either one of the men in return; their own pleasure seemed to be revolving around yours and they were both doing such an incredible job out of it that you had a hard time trying to keep track of where did the waves of pleasure come from anymore. It was all one big tsunami of feelings, from overstimulation to lust and appreciation and love in some form.
Carrillo continued his ministrations while Javier licked the remains of the wine from your body, his tongue traveled to your sternum and he took a nipple on his mouth ever so briefly, then he stood up and quickly undressed, not bothering to be cool about it, he just threw his clothes to the floor while he looked at Horacio have the time of his life between your legs, you let out soft moans and whispers and while Javier took off his jeans he saw your hand grip Carrillo’s hair as your hips hatched against the Colonel’s face. You felt his tongue flicking your clit and he pushed a thick finger inside you, curling it around, building you up and throwing you off the cliff with the same force he had put you there. You came on his mouth with his name on yours.
As you laid on the bed, legs spread for Carrillo as he helped you ride off your orgasm, Javier kneeled back on the bed next to your face, his hand snaked its way around your neck, gently grabbing both sides and helping you take his erection in your mouth, which you were more than happy to do. You could tell he was somewhat tensed: he was doing his absolute best to control his motions and to keep it at a normal rhythm, but the more you involuntarily groaned as Carrillo began to glide his tongue across your slit once again, building up your second climax, the more Javier was slowly losing bits and pieces of himself. Within seconds, you could just tell you weren’t gonna last long, but neither would Javier as he picked up the face and jerked his hips forward more and more, thus obliging you to take more of him in. You couldn’t explain it, nor find any logic behind the action itself, but you swore you felt his release in Javier’s impatient thrusts and, sure enough, mere seconds later, he finally came, grunting as ropes of his seed dripped down your jaw.
Your moans returned when Carrillo added two fingers to his mouthy torture over your clit, and you felt like you could explode. Not long after that all-too familiar gut feeling, that almost persistent desire to burn, you came for a second time, eager to jerk your hips forward and meet as much as you could of Carrillo’s tongue, but this time, the man’s grip over your thighs was impossible to break. He held you in place ever so expertly and ate you out like you were his favorite five course meal, soaking up every ounce of juice that you provided him with.
You temporarily lost feeling in your arms as you tried to raise them to make at least Javier pay attention, but words also failed to leave your abused mouth.
“Que buena chica,” Carrillo said from somewhere down below. (What a good girl.)
Your brain didn’t register what he said properly. All you could feel was a fire so intense, so vivid, you nearly saw stars. And something told you that was only the beginning.
And you were proven right.
In the momentary lack of physical touch, you thought about the moment itself, having two of the strongest, most desirable men eager to please you–simultaneously, might you add–and the more you thought about it, the more it threw you off completely. Why? You weren’t really sure. Perhaps it was the idea in the back of your mind that you wouldn’t have thought yourself capable of that. Or them, really. The activity hadn’t been exactly on your to-do list over the past few years and yet now, you couldn’t have thought of a better way to figure out your feelings for them, and to spare time.
The freshly acquired ecstasy was not only enthralling, but efficient as well.
After your second orgasm at Horacio’s ministrations you saw him between your lusted, narrowed eyes, undress completely, Javier was next to you, trailing his fingers up and down your wet torso–wet with wine and his saliva, what a fucking thought– while the both of you saw Carrillo take the remains of his clothes off and took in his lean figure, Javier smirked when he saw him whole and thought to himself the things he would do to the man if he had the time.
Javier wrapped his arms around your waist and helped you roll over to the side to face him, licking his bottom lip in the process and made sure you watched as he did so. He had been eyeing you up and down the entire day, whether clothed or not, and every glance he threw you, ever so dark and desirable, filled with subtext and desire, made you weaker and weaker, just like Carrillo’s touches were.
You reached his face and took his lips in yours, his tongue slid inside your mouth and as he explored the insides and his hand grabbed fistfuls of your ass, you felt the bed shifting behind you, and another hand snaked from behind and found your breast, you were being pressed against and between two bodies and the wam of them was driving you insane, when Carrillo’s fingers played with your nipple you bucked your hips forward and you felt Javier’s erection graze at your lower belly. Javier moved his hand from your ass to your thigh and then he let it slide to your pussy, you bucked your hips backwards and you felt Carrillo’s erection graze at your ass.
“How are you still this wet, bonita?” Javier asked, while his fingers found themselves between your lips.
“Don’t you know the answer by now, Javi?” you muttered, feeling the way Carrillo’s mouth found your shoulders.
You glanced at him and Carrillo the same way Javier looked at you and you understood in an instant why he always preferred to be that way. It was enticing, addicting and sinful, just the way he was.
And by the looks of it, Colonel Horacio Carrillo was no saint either.
“How do you want this to go, chiquita?” Horacio asked behind you as you moved your leg up to allow Javier’s fingers to find a way inside you.
You sighed. Why was he asking you that question when you weren’t even sure something like this would happen? For a brief, brief second you wanted to hide, just grab your clothes and hide. But you found yourself sandwiched between the men that you most desired and you just couldn’t waste this opportunity for the life of you.
So you rummaged around your deepest, filthiest fantasies you’ve had when everything had just been a sinful dream, a product of your lascive thoughts giving into what you catalogued as your darkest secrets and desires and you found one you couldn’t stop think about after it had given you a stars–behind–the–eyes orgasm.
“I want both,” you muttered, feeling the way both men groaned at your sides, “both inside me, please.”
“You sure?” Javier asked, pulling out his fingers from your cunt and looking at the way they glistened, you nodded.
“Words, chiquita,” Horacio said and you turned to see him, he leaned down and stole a short, deep kiss.
“I’m a hundred percent sure,” you murmured against the Colonel’s lips.
“Let’s get you ready, then,” Javier whispered on your neck and you sighed when his fingers slid back into your slit, you closed your eyes when Horacio played your nipples around his fingers and then his hand roamed down your body, finding their way to your pussy.
“Déjame entrar,” Horacio said under his breath, Javier stopped moving his fingers inside you and you squeezed your eyes tighter when Carrillo slid two more fingers inside your cunt.
“Fu–fuck, fuck,” you gasped, Javier let open mouthed kisses around your face and the skin of your neck within reach while your walls tightened around their thick fingers.
“You okay?” Javier asked and you nodded a few times before your body relaxed and got used to the intrusion.
“Mo–move,” you pleaded, feeling Horacio’s mouth nibbling at your shoulder and your neck.
Javier and Horacio moved their fingers at the same time inside you, looking at each other as if marking a dancing pace. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as they moved in and out and curled their fingers in all directions inside you, making you moan and whimper and open up more for them as they somehow found an identical pace to torture you with.
“Eso, eso nena, lo estás haciendo muy bien,” Carrillo praised behind you, feeling the way your walls were giving into the attention and dilating around their fingers (That’s it baby, you’re doing great)
“Más,” you pleaded, rolling your hips against their hands “Más, más,”
They grinned at each other, Javier’s eyes landed on your face and took in the way your features quirked in pure pleasure. Their fingers moving at the same time, pacing in and out faster. Javier’s mouth landed on your shoulder and Carrillo only took in the lewd noise his and Javier’s fingers were making as they pulled in and out at a murdering pace.
“Oh, sh–shit,” you bit your lip and tried to hide your face inside the crook of Javier’s neck but Horacio pulled you away with his other hand.
“We wanna hear you, querida.” he whispered behind your ear, you shivered again at the feeling of his warm breath and then it became too much, their fingers were covered in your arousal as you spread your legs impossibly wider as your throat began growling and your hands landed on both of them, digging your nails on their flesh. Javier hissed against your shoulder and Carrillo bit the skin of your mouth, both of them throwing you together from the cliff and your body spasmed between them.
“Oh my god, oh shit, fuck!” you screamed between their bodies and they slowed their pace to help you ride down your climax “please, please, fuck me, please,” you let out, almost desperately, eager to feel the same with them inside you. They slid their fingers out of you and you shivered again.
Your body was already a mess, after three powerful orgasms you were panting for air, the only thing you wanted was them inside you, you wanted to feel every ridge and every vein of them, you wanted; you needed to cum around them both.
“What is taking you so long?” you opened your eyes, quite frustrated at the lack of attention to your bodies, but the sight that you took in was otherworldly.
Carrillo had his fingers, his covered–in–your–arousal fingers inside Javier’s mouth.
“Fuck,” you let out, dropping your head on the mattress, looking at the way Javier grabbed Horacio’s wrist to keep his hand on his mouth and lick them clean of you while Horacio’s deep gaze took Javier in with a smirk adorning his face.
Horacio pulled his fingers out with a soft pop and they both looked at you, panting and brushing a nipple with your fingers.
“Next time you’ll have to put on a show for me,” you teased.
“You’re ready?” Javier asked, leaning down to kiss your temple, you looked at Carrillo and smiled at him as he licked his fingers.
“Very,” you replied, softly, your voice was already hoarse because of the moaning and screaming they had pulled out of you, they got comfortable on each of your side and you took a deep breath when Horacio lifted your leg and hooked it on his hip.
Javier was the first one to tease your entrance with the dripping head of his cock, when you felt it sliding up and down your slit you gasped and as he pushed himself inside you you grabbed his arm and licked any part of his skin available for you.
“Oh my god,” you cried out softly.
Javier was having a hard time staying still when your walls were warm and wet around him, his hands roamed around your body as Carrillo lined himself with you and him as well and then he pushed.
“Holy fucking shit,” you had close your eyes at the feeling of Horacio making his way inside of you, you breathed and panted and tried so hard to relaxe but they were thicker than their fingers and your pussy was clenching already around them. Javier took your hand and you squeezed his as both of them bottomed up inside you.
Horacio put his hands over the entanglement of yours and Javi’s and the three of you gasped and panted until your body stopped squirming between them and your walls stopped closing themselves at the feeling of two thick cocks making their way inside.
Javier had to close his eyes as well when he felt how your cunt clenched him tight closer to Horacio and he felt himself throb inside you, when he opened his eyes he saw you, open mouthed gasps leaving your body as it got used to being that full, and then his eyes traveled to Horacio, that buried himself in the crook of your neck, he supposed he was feeling the same way as him, trapped in a oh–so–tight hole with him.
“Move, move, move,” you all but begged, the initial sting of being filled like that disappearing and being replaced with the darkest, deepest, hottest desire you had ever felt, “fu–fucking move already!”
Horacio smirked against the skin of your neck at your demand and moved slightly to look at Javier, who nodded once and then, murdering pleasure; Javier pulled out and as he was thrusting slowly back in, Horacio pulled out and moved in as Javier moved out and you gasped and the air in your lungs left you for the time being as your cunt was filled with the two men you wanted the most.
It was pleasure delivered in a delicious swing of two hips rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth into you, making you impossibly wetter, incredibly hornier, and way too lost in the haze to even care about anything else.
The way that they were fucking you was shameless, the noises were lewd and your moans invaded the room as soon as they picked up the pace and kept driving into you at the same pace but in different directions.
Four hands caressed your body, two sets of lips nibbled at your skin, two tongues tasted the salty sheet of sweat that had covered your body, two thick cocks used your body at their will, making you want to explode; it was an eager combination of feelings and sensations pulled out of the most sensual, lechery, degenerated dreams you could ever had.
“Harder, please, pleasepleaseplease,” you panted out, gripping any skin and limb your hands could find. Your hips started rolling and rolling and rolling with them as they thrusted and pounded inside you.
“Mierda,” Horacio gasped behind you, biting at your skin, making you whimper.
“You’re so fucking tight, so fu–fucking good, baby,” Javier cried out as your pussy clenched around them and you absentmindedly rolled your hips harder.
It was an entanglement of limbs and wet skin, mouths clashing against skin, hands gripping and grabbing available flesh, a swing of bodies and a symphony of licks, kisses, hums, gasps, pants, begs and praises.
“Shit, sh–shit,” you panted harder and clawed at Javier’s arm when you felt the well-familiar tug on your belly of an incoming orgasm, you hummed and moaned and you felt lips in your ear, licking and nibbling at your earlobe, “I’m so close, más,”
Javier gritted his teeth when you demanded more and angled his hips to pound inside harder, Horacio followed his lead, dropping his hand on Javier’s shoulder for leverage. Carrillo’s touch burned in Javier’s skin and he felt his body stiffen with the feeling of his second release.
“Por dios, querida, me estás matando.” Horacio cried out behind you, feeling as well his body falling from the cliff. (My god, you’re killing me)
Javier’s free hand slid through your wet, glistening skin and his finger circled your clit slowly, you screamed his name, your legs buckled and your entire body squirmed with the sea of sensations your body was feeling and flooding with.
“Cum inside me, please, please,” you panted again, feeling the way your legs started to shake as both of their thrust became erratic and Javier’s finger kept circling around your bundle of nerves you exploded around them, gushing out and soaking them as your orgasm made you scream both their names.
“Mierda, querida, mírate,” Horacio grunted before he gave into the lustfulness of it all and came inside you and around Javier.
Once Javi felt the warmness of Carrillo’s release and the way you soaked both of them and his hand, he locked his hips with yours and spilled himself inside as well, gasping out your name.
“Ohmyfuckinggod,” you let out as a sigh, feeling your legs tremble with the strength of your climax.
The three of you stayed like that, joined, for a while. As your bodies relaxed you finally opened your eyes and saw the way Horacio’s hand was resting on Javier’s shoulder, wrapping you as well between them. Both of them breathing heavily, eyes closed, recovering from whatever the hell you had done was called. You sighed and smiled to yourself. If it weren’t for the four orgasms you had and the way your cunt was throbbing after the abuse and dripping with their seed, you wouldn’t believe it was real at all.
“How was that, cariño?” Javier asked, grazing a hand up and down your arm.
“That was–magnificent,” you gushed, not sure how else to describe that positively euphoric experience, “I think–you two have worn me out.”
Horacio chuckled and moved your head to press a kiss to your forehead, and shifted to allow all three of you to lie somewhat comfortably under the covers. You whined when they pulled out of you, solely because at the loss of them, you felt empty.
“Rest now, querida, we’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered into your hair, and that was all the permission you needed.
“We should–” you brought a hand to your mouth to cover a massive yawn, “–do this again sometime.”
After that, it didn’t take long before you had succumbed to the tempting pull of sleep. Horacio sighed and glanced over your shoulder at Javier, who looked rather worn out himself. Tenderly, Horacio reached over and brushed aside a small strand of hair that had fallen in Javi’s face.
“So, same time next week, then?” Horacio asked, giving Javier a lazy smirk, which was returned in kind.
“Yeah,” Javier mumbled, turning over to drape his arm around your way and bury his face in your neck.
“Absolutely.”
let me know if you wanna be removed :)
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aerequets · 3 years ago
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can you give me some webtoon recommendations? name some of your favorites! :)
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i am here to answer folks 😎
all of these webtoons can be found on webtoons.com! I'm not sure about the whole daily pass thing they've got going on (which sucks tbh) but like,,, you could probably find it online illegally. NOT THAT I CONDONE ILLEGAL ACTIVITY HAHAHAHA ᵖˢˢᵗ ⁱᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ˡᵒᵒᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ
I'll split these up between completed and in progress :) most are still in progress though
COMPLETED
1) Gourmet Hound (166 chapters)
this is like, my all time favorite webtoon. it follows Lucy and her quest to find all the chefs that left her favorite restaurant, Dimanche! it’s a really heartfelt story and the food illustrations make you really hungry, so make sure you have a snack before you sit down to read it. each character’s name is also food-related, so that’s pretty cool too! and the diversity in this webtoon is AMAZING. it’s the only webtoon i’ve ever read that has a hijabi character in the main cast. the development is done really well and it explores themes of loving and letting go. all in all, it has a bit of everything. i personally love food-related things, and this centers around it, so i was set LOL
(also a bonus is that this webtoon has NOT succumbed to daily pass hell, so you can binge read the whole thing. legally.)
2) Hooky (200 chapters)
if you like stories of witches, this is the one! the summary and beginning chapters are deceptively lighthearted. DO NOT BE FOOLED! the story really develops further on and explores numerous conflicts, a big one being (if i remember correctly) witch vs. nonwitch. if you like to see struggles between two sides, not a good-and-evil but just people-who-want-the-best-for-themselves-and-their-loved-ones type of thing, this is good for that. also, sibling love! the two main characters are Dani and Dorian, and while there is someee romance, i like how this story centers around the siblings first and foremost. ALSO THE ART??? I LOVE HOW THE AUTHOR DRAWS SETTINGS SO MUCH and am unabashedly jealous because i am completely incapable of doing so   just like,,,, even if the story doesn’t pull you in, you can at least stare at each panel for long stretches of time.
(unfortunately succumbed to daily pass, but you can read it on mangaowl or manganelo!)
3) Spirit Fingers (167 chapters)
aww, this one is cute. Amy is 18 and lacking in self confidence (her family definitely doesn’t help). but HEY she joins a wacky art club!! without her parents knowing!! HECK YEAH!! unfortunately it takes more than joining an art club for her to learn to love herself (it is a long journey after all!). i love this webtoon because it explores the problems of multiple people, not just amy: her high achieving brothers, her mother who had to give up her dream, the different members in the art club, Amy’s girl friends. the art is unique and has a cool watercolor-y texture! and the main couple is just adorable, too. if you’re an artist especially, i recommend this because that’s a big theme and you get to see these characters expand their art styles! which is very cool!
(you can read this one fully on 1stkissmanga)
now here’s where the majority of my recs are:
IN PROGRESS (all can be read on webtoon.com)
1) The Makeup Remover (currently 71 chapters)
i look forward to this every tuesday and friday because oh man!!!!!!!!! idk about you guys, but i am thinking about beauty standards A Large Amount of the time, especially when i consume media. and this webtoon is all about beauty standards (specifically in Korea, but still applicable like. everywhere). Main character Yeseul ends up having to partake in this beauty competition and, with her experiences through it, she begins seeing makeup and beauty standards for the huge role they play in society. i said it already but i LOVE LOVE LOVE this webtoon because it really challenges you as a reader to think about your own perspectives. why do we find the things/people beautiful that we do? what shapes our perception? how much of it is marketing, and how much of it shows in our daily lives? what assumptions do you make about people based on how they look? AGHH im sounding like an essay prompt instead of a reviewer but man. if you like webtoons that examine society through a critical lens (gosh i sound like an english teacher), this is the one. 
2) Odd Girl out (currently 261 chapters; on season 2) 
okay, first and foremost: if you’re NOT into long winded drama, this probably isn’t it for you. i will admit im not a fan of long problems that get dragged out, especially in a school setting, but i did keep reading this webtoon and i am glad that i did! the character development here is amazing and ONE CRUCIAL THING is that the whole first season (which is many, many chapters. at least over 100) focuses on the friendship between our main 4 girls. if you don’t wanna wait for a romance storyline (which comes in season 2), then you’ve gotta have the patience of a saint. i loved this though because lots of romance webtoons cast friendships aside or use them to further the romantic plot. platonic relationships are great to read about and this one does it masterfully! main character nari is resilient and emotionally strong, and it’s great to see her ruin her enemies
3) Cursed Princess Club (currently 110 chapters; on break before the final season)
this is another one about beauty and societal expectations, but in a fantasy setting! it’s really funny and the cast of characters is heartwarming. Gwen is a princess, but she doesn’t look like the typical princess. she accidentally stumbles upon the Cursed Princess Club, which is exactly what it sounds like: a club for princesses that have been cursed and are trying to find their self worth despite not being conventional princesses! now that i think about it, this is like a lighthearted mixture of Makeup Remover and Spirit Fingers. although while i do say “lighthearted”, this webtoon has its fair share of mysteries and exploration of deeper topics. but its funny throughout
4) Brass & Sass (currently 83 chapters)
ahh this one is really cute and the art is cute, too! i also like how this has a diverse cast. high schooler Camilla kinda sucks at band, but dangit if she’s not passionate. Victor is some type of musical prodigy but he’s a brass-hole (hahaha get it. no that’s not original i ripped it from the summary). now i KNOW I KNOW, the whole “perky girl and asshole guy” is so overplayed BUT DON’T FRET! this isn’t the type of story where the girl “fixes” the guy, or where the guy is an asshole to everyone except the girl. believe me, the character development and relationship development in this story is SPLENDID. there’s no real antagonist. it’s just a bunch of high schoolers trying their best to make themselves and everyone else happy, and that’s hard! the story is carried more by the characters than by the plot, but it works well in this case since the characters are strong and each one has a presence. 
5) Surviving Romance (currently 10 chapters)
this one is relatively new compared to my other recs but it’s by the author of the Makeup Remover so yaknow i had to hop on it. BUT IT IS VERY DIFFERENT! first off, it’s a horror, so keep that in mind. the best way i can describe it is a mixture of the standard “girl falls into a story” genre, Groundhog Day, and zombies. Yeah. Bascially, Chaerin is our main girl and she’s in a romance story that’s she’s read a bajillion times, so she knows the day has come for her male lead to confess his love! except he doesn’t! because he becomes a zombie instead! hahaha well that sucks! it’s only got 10 chapters but i am very into it, and it seems to be taking an emphasis on platonic relationships, so i am very closely watching 👁👁
6) The Witch and the Bull (currently 60 chapters) 
another witch story! and the art is GORGEOUS. more witch + nonwitch conflict, too! our main dude, Tan, is the royal advisor and he’s hella bigoted against witches. our main girl, Aro, happens to be a witch. and Tan needs her help to make him into a human again (because he got turned into a bull. that is worth mentioning). this is a very barebones summary and there’s a lot more that goes on, but that’s the general gist of the beginning!
ANYWAYS. this got very long, predictably, and i rambled for each title, predictably. i’ve got more that i’m reading, but i really like these 9! i also made comments on the art for a lot of them, which might not matter to some people, but i feel like my art was very impacted by each webtoon i read. if you’re an artist i recommend finding a webtoon you like and studying the art; try implementing parts you like into your own style! 
anyways, i am FINALLY done talking. bye yall 
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r6shippingdelivery · 2 years ago
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I'll admit I thought the Nighthaven stuff was interesting when it was Kali and Wamai, but with the all the new story stuff I find them so... boring. They're the generic "private mercs who are cocky and glory seeking and don't follow the chain of command because they're mercenaries and they only want money" and with just two I thought it was some decent spice to the formal and ridgid structure Rainbow had going on, but now with an over saturation of them along side the whole "people are leaving Rainbow to join them" in my personal opinion is a boring plot line that doesn't make sense in the grand scheme of things when you sit down and actually look at the technology/structure Nighthaven has vs Rainbow.
Anyways that's my mini-rant over. Sorry for leaping into your ask box and dropping this all on you but that previous Anon about Osa was right and you are 1000% right about your assessment of Kali.
Don't apologize for the rant, it was very interesting to see your take on it, and in fact I agree with quite a bit of it!
The introduction of NH was kinda polemic in the fandom back in the day, and I admit I was on the camp of "having PMCs be part of Rainbow seems like a bad idea" since day one 😅 It's very curious how many of the common complaints and possible problems we foresaw ended up being confirmed by the lore later on, lmao. And to be totally fair, we were bashing Harry's supposed decision as much as NH itself. However, with just Kali and Wamai, it was tolerable, yeah.
She is a massive jerk and I used to joke maybe now Ash and Mira would find common ground against her (lo and behold), and Wamai has so much potential to be hilarious, or to explore how he interacts with people... which we've never seen. Because of NH Ubi only seems to care about Kali, Ace, and maybe Osa if you stretch it.
I stopped trying to make sense of Siege's "plot" when they took up the whole SI competition thing, my god that was boring and pointless and non-sensical as all hell 😂 The whole NH drama seemed like a waste of time, but if it really helped propel the plot into something more meaningful than just "glorified paintball tournaments", then okay, I'll go with the flow. Doesn't mean I agree with it or the cheap melodrama of it, tho. And I'm sick to hell of having Kali and her sychophants being front center stage so much of the time during cinematics and stuff while more than half of Rainbow's roster hasn't got a shred of attention since forever.
And thank you for the thumbs up regarding my hot take about Osa and Kali, I wasn't too sure of how it would be received!
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eartht137 · 3 years ago
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FOR THE BETTER pt II
Hey curvies, glad you liked the first part of my story yay. I now bestow upon you part 2. I went a bit out of the way with this chapter, but I hope you like it. The singing part is something I did in class once on a whim, it didn't work as good as I described in the story, I still had to submit my work LOL. Enjoy my little curvies MMMMWWWahHHH!
Dark Clark Kent x (Black)!Plus Size Reader SUMMARY: Mr. Kent said friends til the end of the week right? Think again. Y/n, still getting used to having Mr. Kent as a friend, is trying to be a bit more bold. She's trying to adjust to change and even though sometimes he may seem a bit pushy, she doesn't mind, its all friendship right? He'll back off after awhile right?
You walked in class, no paper in hand and you refused to meet Clarks disappointed gaze. You weren't the only one without a paper but you were really nervous about the presentation you had up your sleeve. You just hoped it made sense. "Alright, looks like we're getting speeches today. Who wants to go first? Hmm?" He said with his hands on his hips. No one volunteered. "Am I going to have to voluntell somebody?" he gave you "the look" over his glasses. Your heart pounded in your chest, but you shakily stood as first volunteer. "Alright Miss Y/l/n, lets hear it." You could hear disappointment dripping in his voice, but you wanted to do this. You took a deep breath, and started to sing. 'Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk with you again, because a vision softly creeping left its seed while I was sleeping, and the vision that was planted in my brain, still remains. Within the sound!!!!!!!!! Of silence.' you ended making everyone freeze and stare. "My voice is pretty much the best thing I like about me. I-I didn't think a paper could put in words what my voice could. Th-that's my speech." You said awkwardly sitting down. You'd never sang in front of anyone like that before, you hadn't even joined the choir, so singing in front of everyone was a huge step for you. Just as you'd finished processing what you'd done, the classroom erupted in cheers and applause. You were shaking at how many people liked what you'd done. You really began to shake when you saw Clark clapping for you too. "That's my wife!" One of your classmates yelled across the room smiling at you. "Alright, alright. Miss Y/l/n," Clark started. "That's Mrs. Bankston to you." the same classmate yelled out making everyone laugh. Your face heated up a bit. "Miss Y/l/n thank you for the speech. It'll suffice this time, next time I want a paper. Okay, Bankston, you're up next." "Aw Mr. Kent for reals? Like how am I supposed to follow up an act like that? Besides we're duo. Like ebony and ivory..." He serenaded holding his hand out toward you, making you giggle. "Mr. Bankston Miss Y/l/n has fantastic gpa in comparison, so seeing as your such a duo I would've expected a lot better." Clark shaded calmly, "So unless you want it to suffer any further, I suggest you cut the crap and give your speech." Clark said a bit irritated. The rest of class was filled with boring speeches from classmates who weren't even prepared to do their work. When class was dismissed, you tried easing out of the room without being noticed. "Uh, Miss Y/l/n, my office please?" He said looking over his glasses at you. You inwardly groaned and went back to his office. "So, what excuse do you have for not doing your paper?" "I honestly couldn't come up with the words to describe how it felt to use my voice. I tried I really did, but honestly, I really just couldn't find the words to describe what I like about me when-I just couldn't find the words." "Y/n, you do not give yourself enough credit. You're a very good writer and obviously an incredible singer. You can be whatever-" "Clark, do I look like a singer to you? No I don't, that's why I write, I know my words have more impact behind the scenes." You said with strength. You didn't have to be seen to be heard. "You can be whatever you want to be and you'll have my support every step of the way. That's what friends, real friends do." "Clark we are not still friends, we said til the end of the week." you shook your head at him with a smile. He smiled and stuffed his hands in his pocket. "Sorry, I'm not going away." "Figures." You laughed a bit. "What are you doing tonight? We could have a movie night." "Will Lois be there?" You asked excited. "I can ask her if you want me to." "I guess it'd be cool, but for like 30 minutes though." "Y/n no movie lasts 30 minutes. Nice try though." he laughed. "We'll be over at 8." "'Kay bye!" You said rushing out of his office off to your next class. That night at 8 on dot a knock came to your door, you answered expecting to see the couple standing there but was a bit shocked to
just see Clark. "Hey, Lois coming by later?" You asked, the last you wanted was to cause drama. "No she's following a lead on a story for the front page. She says she's sorry and she'll catch up next time." He said walking past with bags of groceries. "Oh, well let me help you." You said motioning at the bags in his hands. "I've got it, its pretty heavy." "I swear I honestly thought you'd be bringing a pizza." you chuckled. "Where's your table?" "Table?" You asked head tilted to the side. "Where you eat, the dining table?" he asked sitting the groceries on your counter. "Haha, you have a table for guests. I never have anyone over, so I just sit in front of the tv." you said pointing at your couch. He rolled his eyes at you and huffed. "Oh come on don't look at me crazy, I warned you that I was anti." "That's no excuse." he mumbled as he opened your refrigerator. "Y/n, you don't have any food in here." He fussed. "I do, its in the freezer and the pantry." you defended. "Two chimichangas, a pint of ice cream, Nutella, animal crackers, soda, and ramen. That's not food." He fussed even harder. "Okay dude chill, I'm a working grown college student. I don't eat here much anyway I eat at work, and Nutella is sustainable to my everyday existence." You said yanking the hazelnut spread away before he threw it away. He shook his head as he put the food away. "How long has it been since you've had a hot home cooked meal?" "Last week at your mom's." you shrugged. "I'm glad I brought real food to cook." he fussed on. "Clark, we could've just ordered pizza." you said starting to feel a bit bad for not adulting enough. "We could've, but I wanted to cook for you." He turned and looked at you pleading. "Please tell me you have pots and pans." "God Clark I'm hopeless not an idiot." You joked laughing obnoxiously making him roll his eyes at you. You showed him where everything was and he started cooking. You offered to help, be wanted to cook for you. You sat up the snacks an pulled up Netflix so you could choose a movie. He made his way over to you with a glass of wine. You took a sip and dramatically fell to the ground, pretending to die by poisoned wine. He got down on the floor with you and you looked at the height difference of his head by your feet and your head at the middle of his thighs and started laughing making him laugh like you'd never heard. After you both calmed down you laid there staring at the ceiling like there were stars hovering. "You really do have an amazing voice." Clark said cutting the peaceful silence. You couldn't help but smile. "Thanks....friend." You said nudging him in his thigh with your elbow. You both stayed silent until you gasped making him almost jump out of his skin. "What?" he said worried. "Can I sing at you and Lois' wedding?" You asked catching him off guard. "Oh come on, you love her, I can see it, " You said sitting up and smiling down at him. "and you both look so beautiful together." You stood tall and put your hands on your hips in "Superman" fashion. "Since I'm your friend I give her the golden stamp of, put a ring on it!" You said holding out your thumb. "Okay, I'm picking gonna pick the movie." You said marching to the couch. "That's not fair, I'm cooking I should get to pick the movie." He standing to check on his food. "We could've ordered pizza." You rebutted. "I'm your guest." he shot back with a shit eating grin. "Shit! Fine, you get to pick the movie." "Well I'll pick it after we eat." "Aww what? The tv's right there." You pointed. He looked over his glasses at you. "I don't even have a table." you argued. "You've got an argument for everything don't you?" He said chuckling. "You've got a coffee table, we'll make it work. Do you have a candle?" He said looking around before looking at you. You were there with your hands on your hips, looking at him like-'you know damn well.' He shook his head at your for the millionth time making you giggle a bit. He set the table and poured you another glass of wine. "You know this stuff gets better the more you
drink it." You said gulping the glass down and holding it out for more. "Mm-hmm." He agreed taking a sip of his own while pouring you more. You took a bite of you food, you immediately stood and clapped. "You were right, this is way better than pizza, although pizza is still good, this is amazing. "So what genre do you like most?" He asked. "Horror, I don't know why I watch it though, I always spook myself afterwards." "Okay so no horror." "No, wait please? I won't get scared tonight I promise. I mean unless you want to watch cartoons?" "We'll watch something scary." "Yaaaaay!!!!" you cheered and went to reach for the remote to your tv. "Ah, after we finish dinner and clean up." "Deal!" You said a bit excited. Once dinner was done and you'd both cleaned, even though you told him you'd do all the cleaning, he still helped. Afterwards you both sat and watched a scary movie that had you stress eating and jumping every two seconds. After that movie ended, Clark suggested another movie to help you not feel so spooked. You'd lost count of how many glasses of wine you'd had and you were feeling tipsy and tired. "Hey friend?" You hummed. "Hm?" "I fuckin hate to admit this, but I'm drunk. I'm glad we're friends. You better be glad too." you fussed at him. "I am glad," he laughed, "I really am." He said staring at you. "Good, cause you're the only person I can tolerate. Oh, and Lois....oh and that your mom, I really like your mom....oh and that cute guy from class." you giggled making Clark roll his eyes in disgust. "Y/n please." "What? He's cute, he's an idiot, that doesn't change that he's cute." You said looking at your phone. Your eyes grew big as you saw the time. "Dude its past midnight. Don't you need get home and rest for lecture?" He stared at you for a moment and you could tell he didn't want to go home, but you both knew he had to. "Yeah I'm sure I could use some rest." He said getting up to leave. You tried to get him to take the rest of the food he'd bought with him, but he refused. "Well thanks for dinner's meals and be safe. Do you need me to walk you out?" "Absolutely not, how about I see you off to bed?" "I look five to you? Don't even answer that." You sassed. He laughed and gave you a long hug, telling you how proud of you he was for using your voice and for letting him be your friend. You squirmed out of his arms pretending it was burning you. He ruffled your fro' and you gave him a playful nudge out the door. That night as you laid in bed trying to fall asleep, you kept thinking about Clark and no matter how hard you tried to shake it you couldn't help but fawn over him and how close you both had gotten so fast. 'Girl puh-lease, he's got Lois, she's beautiful and thin. He's happy with her and there's no way he'd even bat an eye at you like that. Don't even get it twisted.' you scolded yourself internally. You couldn't allow yourself to catch feelings for him that way because you knew you'd only end up with hurt feelings. You also didn't want to break up a happy relationship. 'How'd he know I needed groceries though?' you thought to yourself, 'Maybe just a hunch.' you dismissed. Soon with your mind going in 50 different directions, you were tired enough to fall asleep. "Goodnight little bird." Clark said as he watched you finally drift off to sleep. He wondered what thoughts plagued your brain that kept you awake. He hoped you'd thought of him. After making sure every inch of you apartment was safe inside and out he felt satisfied enough to go home and get a bit of rest. 'No harm in making sure she's safe' he thought as he finally took off. 'I'll always make sure she's safe.'
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scriibble-fics · 4 years ago
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Magic
Excerpt from a new Jily seventh-year one-shot that has ballooned dramatically, to the surprise of no one. There's more to come!
As January slips by, days pass without a kiss at minimum, although they’re few and far between. On the other hand, they don’t waste a single day without some form of verbal interaction—laughter in between classes, or banter at mealtimes, or bickering at prefect meetings that almost always serves as a precursor to snogging. Increasingly, new activities join these pastimes that have somehow become cherished. Lily grows closer to his friends, and James makes quick inroads with hers, although sometimes her mates look a little too flattered by his attention for her liking. He requests her help in Potions, and they spend long hours together in the dungeons accomplishing more than just snogging, although that comes with the territory as well. In turn, he insists on aiding her in Transfiguration after Sirius offers continued help, and the way Sirius winks at her when James turns his back has her convinced that he’s pleased for reasons beyond escaping the extra work of tutoring her. Truly, Sirius surprises her more and more as the days melt by, because he easily detaches himself from James’ side to allow for the quiet, private conversations that begin to happen organically between them in the common room, and he even distracts her friends so it can happen. None of her friends complain about this new arrangement that secures Sirius’ attention, but Marlene seems perhaps the happiest of all.
She and James have talked before these conversations, of course. They’ve been housemates for years, after all, and he’s never shied away from paying her attention that she typically hasn’t wanted. Yet most of that attention has erred on the side of either endless banter or endless bickering, and the quiet, fireside chats that happen with more and more regularity feel worlds apart from either of those things. Sure, they still laugh and they still argue, although the laughs are quieter, and more smiles than harsh words accompany the arguments. He watches her plait her hair or rub her neck while they talk, his eyes soft as they discuss their respective career aspirations, and trade gossip about fellow students, and whisper secrets about their friends, and recount memories of the past and hopes for the future. He tells her about his brilliant potioneer father and brilliant herbologist mother, and she can almost picture them as he talks, his father’s spectacles and messy hair and his mother’s rigid posture and kind face. In turn, he asks probing questions about her own family, until she reveals bit by bit about her jolly, constantly-teasing dad and loving caretaker of a mum. Eventually, she even tells him about Petunia too, although it comes even more difficultly than any mention of her parents.
“I didn’t even know you had a sister,” he says one particularly chilly night as wind whips past the common room windows. She feels her shoulders shift outside of her control, and he catches the subtle change. He always does. “What?”
She’s trying, just like she’d promised Marlene, and it doesn’t come easily. “I’m sure her friends have said that to her about me.”
He takes that in for a moment. “Maybe,” he says eventually. “She’d be stupid not to claim you, though. Besides—” It sounds like he’s carefully counting each word. “Family isn’t about blood. It’s a choice. I mean, look at Sirius.”
He means it metaphorically, not literally, but they both look towards where Sirius lounges nearby, laughing with his friends and hers. It’s late, and particularly late for a weekday, so Sirius’ laughter sounds especially loud in the near-empty common room. Watching him throw his head back in amusement, it’s nearly impossible not to smile with him, and James does.
She doesn’t. If anything, Sirius’ laughter triggers something even sadder inside her, and for reasons she doesn’t fully understand, not at first. “It’s not fair,” she says quietly, words spoken without thought, and it all clicks together abruptly, like a radio station suddenly in tune. Her throat burns, and she clears it as she looks towards the fire. “Sorry. Sorry, I—” Her explanation falters and then dies in her mouth. There are probably words express it all—the sudden clarity in Sirius’ constant gregarious nature that he uses to win people over like his life depends upon it, her own people-pleasing ways, the ease of their bond that she’s never understood before—but trying to find them hurts too much to even contemplate past a couple of painful seconds.
James reaches for her hand, which has clenched into a fist atop her lap. Somehow, the slow stroke of his fingers eases the tension that has turned her knuckles white. Her hand opens, and his thumb caresses each of her knuckles as color returns. “Save your apologies for the next time you piss me off,” he says, and he turns her hand over in her lap.
She watches as he presses their palms together, his fingers dwarfing hers, and her mouth smiles before she catches herself at it. “It seems like I’ve been pissing you off less lately.”
He returns her smile, his fingers lacing through hers in a brief, warm squeeze. “It’s hard to get mad at you when you’re getting me off all the time.” Something shifts in his voice, something that squeezes her insides.
“Same, but don’t take that as a challenge to piss me off.”
He chuckles softly. “You know me too well. Well, I’m glad we finally figured out how to get you to tolerate me.”
His hand remains locked in hers, his thumb once again slowly brushing over her knuckles. She’s not sure which is more difficult to look at: their hands, fitted so neatly together, or his face, which radiates more warmth than even moments before. “Tolerate,” she repeats, skeptical. That hardly sums up the things he does to her body—and to her mind, and, increasingly, to her heart—on a regular basis. “The same goes for you.”
“Evans.” Her name comes out chidingly, and he waits until she looks at him before he goes on. “I don’t just tolerate you. And I’d—” He takes in a deep breath, eyes flickering back and forth between each of hers. “Your sister is stupid,” he says again, but it sounds entirely different somehow. “Anyone would be lucky to claim you. I told you—you’re magic.”
It’s not the first time he’s declared as much to her since the train, but it’s the first time that it sounds like something other than heated talk spoken against her mouth or skin. For the first time, she catches a glimmer of what he means—or a glimmer of what it means to her, at least, since she has no way of knowing if he feels the same. Something stretches between them, a moment that’s brief but heavy and undeniable, and she wants to look away, but she can’t. She’s suspended in time, held entirely in place on the other side of his gaze.
It’s magic, what holds her there, a magic unlike any she’s ever discovered.
“Thank you.” Her voice comes out soft and a little small. She sounds nothing like herself.
He doesn’t call her on it. He moves closer to her, shifting towards the edge of his armchair until their knees touch, and his other hand joins where he’s still holding hers atop her lap. “I’m rather good at palm reading, you know,” he says, and the magic between them snaps as the fireplace crackles, and so abruptly that she jumps a little. Before she can blink, things settle back into familiar patterns, from the lazy smile on his face to the teasing in his tone to her own immediate banter in return.
“Don’t insult my intelligence. You dropped out of Divination fourth year. I haven’t forgotten.”
“Flattered you remember my movements so closely.” He releases her hand so he can pull it into his own lap, and he traces a fingertip along her palm, drama exuding from every pore. “If you’re too scared to know your future—worried who might be in it, maybe—”
“Go on, then.”
The future—as told by James—holds things she expects and things that she doesn’t.
She expects him to predict a long life. She expects him to predict a continued close relationship with her friends. She expects him to predict a prosperous career in brewing, because she’s confided those dreams in him. He tells her all of those things as he tickles her palm with twisting caresses.
Yet she doesn’t expect his long description of her handsome future husband, a man who will allegedly propose many times before she’ll finally accept. She also doesn’t expect his recounting of all the children she’ll have, enough for an entire Quidditch team.
She’s laughing by the end, and he’s laughing with her. “That’s too many kids,” she says. “I’m not doing that to my body, and I can’t imagine that this wonderful husband of mine—”
“He’s handsome too, don’t forget.”
“Right. I can’t imagine that this wonderful, handsome husband of mine will expect it of me.” She wiggles her fingers. “Look again, will you?”
He obliges with all the seriousness of a seer, and his hair falls in front of his face as he bends in concentration. “Maybe not quite that many, but at least two, maybe three. It’s a lonely existence, being an only child. Your husband, he’ll feel pretty strongly about that.”
Thank god he’s looking at her hand. Thank god he’s looking at her hand and not her face, because—
All banter and faux predictions aside, she’s tempted to start practicing for those babies with him right then and there.
Accidentally or on purpose, she’s falling in love with him, and it’s all his fault.
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livinginncity · 4 years ago
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if we were human
♚: lee rang x reader
❡: fluff??(angst, pure angst)
ⱳƈ: 2.5k
⚠︎: besides it being really bad? none really. like, literally a couple swears. it was fluff, and then it became angst, so...sorry, but not really because if i’m crying, so are you.
children could be heard all around the park. some screaming and laughing as they run behind, others crying after they tripped, only to soon be comforted by the gentle holds and hushed assurances of their mothers and fathers. a bit further away was a small dog park, from which came all kinds of barks and growl, as well as cooing of the passerby. and there at a bench, located slightly closer to the swings and slides attracting the younger humans, sat a man that looked less than pleased to be where he was.
“Guess who.” a female’s voice rang out as a soft hand covered his eyes. he merely rolled his eyes beneath their new coverings and proceeded to drag the small wrist away from his face. “y/n.”
the young woman sneered and scoffed before yanking her hand out of his grasp to walk around and join him on the bench. “I don’t like you.”
“I don’t like you either.” a smack to the back of the man’s head could be felt soon after the words left his mouth. “Yah!”
“What are you doing here anyway? I never took you for the people watching type.”
“That's because I'm not. As if they deserve that much attention.” a hand lazily lifted in the direction of a familiar little boy, the action bringing a smile to the woman’s face.
“Ahhhh. But that one’s the exception? I thought you didn’t like little kids with runny noses, something I heard you have in common with your brother actually. Is that a gumiho thing or a family thing?” the man she addressed turned his head to look at her with an unimpressed look.
“Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much? Or that you ask too many questions?”
“Well considering that was one of the first things you said to me when we met, I’ll just assume you know the answer to that already.”
she turned to look where the man’s gaze had previously been fixed and he followed suit. their eyes moved as they followed the movements of the young boy whose energy seemed to rival that of a puppy’s. ‘how fitting’ was the thought that came to the pair. minutes passed before they changed positions—the girl moving to settle her head on her company’s shoulder. said company shook her off before she repeated the action, leaving her be the second time. and he stayed in place even after she dragged his head to rest upon her own.
“Rang-ah.” the man simply grunted in response, urging her to continue. “I hate this.”
his eyebrows furrowed slightly at the sudden proclamation. “The kids? The families? Parks? I don’t really like them either. The first are messy and demanding, the second is an extremely unrealistic dynamic, and the last are way too loud and crowded.”
“No.” she took in her surroundings before speaking again. “This. I love all of this. I want it all. The kids are adorable and it feels so rewarding to be someone they rely on and look up to. I’ve had my fair share of family drama, but I’ve always wanted my own that I could cherish—pointless fights and all. And parks are probably one of my favorite places because it gives me everything I need to imagine what it’d be like if I had the first two.”
“What?” at her words he lifted his head to look down at her.
“I hate all of this shit that’s going on right now. It was one thing when you were just this occasional menace to your brother, but now the Imugi is involved and Lee Yeon refuses to let Ji Ah go again. It’s caused so many problems and with them, questions to be asked. Things could be so much simpler. Don’t you ever think about what life would be like if we were all human? This would all just be some petty high school drama. Like, Lee Yeon got class president in school and now, years later, both he and Imugi are CEOs competing in the nightclub industry or something like that.”
“You’re starting to sound like Lee Yeon. I guess you’re just as lame as him. Or maybe even lamer because really? That’s the best you can do with this fake drama?”
“Did I ever tell you that I ran into Soo Ho before you got the Tiger’s Brow back from him?” she ignored the questions, but her own annoyed him slightly. before he could respond. “I asked him if I could try them on and walked to the nearest window I could see myself in.”
“So, what’d you see? What were you? A Snake? A rat? Pufferfish?” her only response to his teasing was a pinch to the side. she shook her head before continuing.
“I saw a child.” her face changed to a solemn one. “All I saw was a snot-nosed little kid that the world seemed to have it out for. I didn’t even live long enough to have many firsts. And no one was ever there for the few I did. Well, there was one. Towards the end, I think my final year, I met an old lady. She lived alone, but she took me in the moment we crossed paths. She gave me my own room, let me help her cook, as much as a child could help, and she would always tell me these stories of her husband who had passed about a decade before. In just a few months, that woman gave me what felt like a lifetime of love. All while I was slowly dying, she made me forget the hardships, the neglect, the hatred, and by some cruel fate, she died first. But before she went, she said to me “treat my death as not another result of this terrible world, but take it as a sign that even when we know that our end is inescapable, we are able to cherish the temporary moments in which we are truly happy should we allow ourselves that much.” And so,”
the woman finally lifted her head from the gumiho’s shoulder to look into his eyes. “I think, if I could be reincarnated as a human again, I would. But since it’s probably never gonna happen I want to live like one. Get married, have a family, get mad when someone doesn’t show up for the holidays. I don’t know if I’d make it as a human with everything I know now, and I honestly don’t want to be human right-right now because I probably wouldn’t get to be around you. And I also just can’t imagine how you’d get by without seeing me every day.”
“Don’t act like you’re anything special.” he scoffed and looked back at the playground.
“You don’t have to admit it.” she stood up from the bench, looked over to the young boy he had taken in, and turned back. the woman grabbed his face and, after looking at the man for a few seconds, leaned in. “I know you love me.” and then she ran. “Soo Ho-ah! Let me play with you, that old fox is being mean again!”
“Yah!” he didn’t get up to chase her. she was right no matter how much he thought about it. somehow that weird girl wormed her way into the list of people he more than tolerated. and as he sat alone with his thoughts, he watched her play with the reincarnated boy, the latter seemingly winning their current sword fight.
does he ever wanna be human? no, it seems way too boring. does he like kids? he likes one, so that’s good enough. will he get married at some point? well, it’s just some rings and paper. and it’s not like he isn’t in love with that girl in the park.
bonus;
“Hey, y/n. If you’re watching this then...you know. I figured a couple good deeds might do me well in the afterlife, so what better way than finally letting my brother be with the girl he’s waited hundreds of years for.”
“You crazy bastard.” those were the only words that she could force her mouth to speak as she looked down at the small screen.
“I know you’re probably cursing me right now, thinking ‘this crazy bastard.’” somehow they both managed to let out a chuckle. “You know I don’t like vulgar words, but I’m not there, so i told Soo-Ho to pinch you for me every time one leaves your mouth.”
“Of course you did. It’s already a habit of his now.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye. Especially to you, Yu Ri, and Soo-Ho. I didn’t get to say thank you, either. You’ve all helped me more than I’d ever care to admit, but I really am grateful to have shared part of my life with you. I got to help Yu Ri like Lee Yeon helped me, got to meet Blacky again, and I got to experience so many things with you.”
the tears in her eyes were already brimming and it was clear they wouldn’t stay there long. “y/n.” she looked back to the screen as he called her name.
“go to the nightstand on the right of my bed and open the drawer.” the girl got up from her place at the edge of the bed and walked over to the wooden table. with her phone in her left, she used her right to open the drawer, and she could feel her heartbeat stutter as she laid her sights on the black velvet box that sat in it. she reached a shaky hand to pick it up, and when she flipped it open she couldn’t help dropping the phone as she brought the other to her mouth with a choked sob. all she could do was shake her head and let the tears subject themselves to gravity.
“Do you remember that day in the park?” despite not being able to actually see through the endlessly flowing tears, she managed to scramble around and find the device that had slipped from her grasp. “You were talking about all this stuff like marriage, family, kids—what it’d be like to be human because things would be so much simpler. And while I don’t think anyone could ever convince me that being human would be fun, I figured we could at least do some of those human things. We were kind of halfway there, you know? You practically live in my apartment, and Soo-Ho took over the living room with his toys, so it was only a matter of time for him to get his own room so I could stop stepping on legos—maybe get a door with a lock from the outside so I don’t have to worry about waking up covered in stickers.”
she laughed as she recalled the memory, his interactions with the little boy, and their goofy smiles when things were calm for once. “You dorks were made to follow each other into every life.”
“I was gonna propose to you after this whole thing was over. Once I knew Lee Yeon was safe and not being targeted by a wannabe dragon. I’m sorry I couldn’t give that to you or...our own kid, though I think the one we have now is pretty great. And I’m also really sorry that I’m finally telling you this once it’s too late, but you were right. About what you said that day.” her breath hitched as she saw the tears glisten while they slid down his face. “I love you.
as if it were clockwork, a sob made its way from her throat and the tears began again.
“Yah, stop crying already. Please. I’d be upset if I was the cause of it.” and she tried, she really did, but it wasn’t as easy as he made it sound. “And, I know this is probably asking a lot for all that I’ve put you through, but can you wear it? At least for a little bit. Just think of it as a way of honoring my memory—the better parts obviously. You can keep my apartment if you want, too. Soo-Ho might be a job better-fit for Sin-Ju and Yu Ri, but if he says he wants to stay with you, you better let him.”
another laugh emitted from between the sobs as she listened to his final message.
“I really do love you, y/n. And if there is ever a chance of us finding each other again, I’ll tell you every chance I get. Anyway, I think it’s time for me to go now. I only have a couple more minutes and I don’t think the others are gonna make it in time. I’m scared if I’m being honest, y/n. I’m afraid of being alone, but you helped me not feel like that all the way up to the end—I finally had a family. So thank you. Love you.” and he smiled his big, child-like smile before adding on, “And don’t tell Lee Yeon I said sorry, or thank you, or I love you that much in under ten minutes.”
and just like that, it was over. no more, dumb family feuds, no more naengmyeon with no eggs because someone would always steal it, no more Lee Rang. she stared at the paused screen for what felt like hours before setting it to the side on the bed, to do as he had asked. carefully,  she took the ring out from the safety of its cushions and slid it onto her left hand. she let out a shaky breath as she stared at her ring finger and she said it back, hoping that somehow, someway, he would hear it. “I love you too, Lee Rang-ah.”
it was a while before she moved from that spot—getting on her feet only to answer the door that had just rung. opening it, she could have seen the man who had taken the place of Lee Rang’s in the living world, but all she saw at that moment was an older brother who had also lost someone he loved.
“Lee Yeon-ah.” it was then that the male finally took in her appearance. she wore jeans, one of his brother’s sweaters, and her hair was in a bun that had clearly seen better days. but what really caught his attention as his eyes traveled, was the black box in her right hand, and shining silver band on her left. then he lifted his eyes back to hers to see just how tired she was. “Lee Yeon-ah. I miss him.”
the man simply brought her into his chest as she sobbed. and she cried, and she cried, and all the while he stood there with her in his embrace. it was all he could do, he couldn’t offer her words of comfort just yet because, even now she may be much stronger than he is. because she’s strong enough to live without the promise of his reincarnation. she knows she may never see him again, but won’t risk exchanging her life just so he won’t go through the same thing.
“I miss him so much.” her voice cracked as the words came out, and he ran his hand over her hair.
“I know, I know. I miss him, too.”
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kim-ruzek · 3 years ago
Text
Girl Crush
Summary: This time, Sylvie does not laugh at the bluntness of Kim’s words, instead blushing a fierce shade of pink. She was only half looking at Kim when she said those words, but now Sylvie looks at the other woman more directly. She is greeted by Kim looking at her—although, maybe staring would be more accurate. It’s an intense look, a look her friend has never given her before, a look that says that maybe Kim doesn’t want to be just her friend tonight.
Or; at the end of 3x23, Sylvie doesn't go home with Roman-- but instead with Kim. And gets the fucking she deserves.
Warnings: Smut, smut, smut. This is just my excuse to give Sylvie the orgasm she deserves and the one she clearly did not get with Ratman. And so there's also Roman bashing bc Roman is trash.
Word Count: 4.5k
Read on AO3
Notes: For @gilbxrt-blythe bc Abby started™ something in my mind on Sunday, thus leading me to writing this all yesterday bc,,, our girls deserve so much better than Sean Roman and this fandom needs more wlw content. Let's save our darling girls!!
Someone’s hooking up tonight.
Chili’s words go around in Sylvie’s head all night. Largely, she ignores them—or rather, tries to—just focusing on the beer she’s sipping faster than usual and the joyous atmosphere in the bar but there’s those moments it creeps into her thoughts.
Her PIC is right about one thing, the thing she said about volcanoes. The firehouse has been so tense of late and she can tell that a weight has been lifted off them, and Sylvie thinks that’s quite like a volcano. But she—perhaps, stubbornly—refuses to admit Chili might be right about the hooking up part.
If anyone was to know Sylvie’s thoughts, know that she’s trying, more vehemently that she should, to deny that, they question why. To which Sylvie would just claim that it’s because she hates gossiping about her co-workers, people who are her friends are family, and that she doesn’t like speculating on their sex lives.
Sylvie even tried to insist this to herself, not that it works. How can it when she can feel her toes curl slightly at the thought of just... Throwing everything to the wind and just enjoying some pure, unadulterated primal ecstasy. That she finds herself subconsciously looking around the bar, as if she’s trying to find a suitable candidate.
She has always felt the weight of her friends’ turmoil so heavily. Empathetic to the core, her father said, when he grinned at her becoming a paramedic, telling her it’s what she was born to do. She likes it, she does. She likes caring about those important to her, to care about anyone who’s a decent human—and even those who aren’t—but it gets tiring, feeling the weight of their unhappiness on her shoulders.
It’s not even like she was directly wrapped up in the drama going around in the house, but it was so intense—a volcano getting ready to burst. And something tells her that she won’t be able to shake it off with just getting drunk amongst her friends.
“Hey, Brett,” Sylvie looks to her left, seeing Sean Roman slip into the seat beside her. The paramedic smiles at him, ever polite, turning so she’s more face on to him. He was close to her before she shifted, and she thought that would be annoying, if he wanted to converse.
Only, Sylvie quickly gets that he doesn’t have talking on mind.
The patrol officer is quick to close the space between them again, shifting himself and resting a hand on the back edge of her seat. She could get away if she wanted, but it gives off a certain trapped vibe, a vibe that shows exactly the kind of intentions Roman has.
There’s a twist of uncomfortableness in her stomach. Roman is sort of attractive, she guesses, although she doesn’t know if she’d fully trust her taste in men yet; there being too many wrongly stacked choices compared to the right. But even if he was the hottest specimen she had ever seen, there’s something off putting about his approach, leaving her with the impression he doesn’t want her to move away from him.
But there’s that volcano inside her, wanting to explode, and the alcohol is already coursing through her veins, so despite the sober parts of her brain metaphorically screwing up its nose at the officer, Sylvie doesn’t attempt to move again, instead leaning on her arm, interested in whatever he has to say.
“I’ve got a few more interesting stories like that, if you want to hear more?” Roman smiles hungrily at her, his eyes making her feel like a piece of meat. He had just finished telling her an amusing story from patrol and she gets the impression that’s his hook, and that now he’s trying to reel her in.
“The bar’s a bit loud, though. So we should go back to mine,” There it is, the beginning of the reel. He’s looking hopeful at her, and there’s an attempt to look appealing, sexy. It doesn’t work, but Sylvie finds herself shrugging, thinking that she could do a lot worse that Sean Roman.
“Hey, Sylvie. Roman.” Before she can agree, Kim appears, seemingly out of nowhere.
The brunette is on the other side of her, her arm lightly touching her as she greets them. In a way, Kim is affectively penning Sylvie in like her partner did, but it doesn’t make her stomach twist in that same uncomfortable way. There’s some meaning to that, she knows, but she doesn’t bother to reflect on what.
“Hey, Burgess.” Roman seems irked. He’s looking at her rather rudely, and Sylvie doesn’t like that. She cares about her friends and Kim is one of her first Chicago friends who doesn’t work with her. So she grins at her a little wider then she already would, wrapping her arms around the other officer.
“Hey, Kim!” If Roman picks up on the pointedness in Sylvie’s tone, he doesn’t let on.
“Hi,” Kim smiles at her again, repeating a greeting before continuing and Sylvie must be a little more tipsy than she thought because her mind is immediately drawn to how pretty Kim looks when she smiles. “Chili had to leave early and asked me if I could drive you home instead. She said sorry, but there was a cute guy who she needed to know a bit better,”
Sylvie knows instantly that Kim is lying. Chili asked no such thing, considering she wanted to get absolutely wasted tonight and had no intention of driving herself home, let alone Sylvie. This lie is an anchor, a get out of jail card, a bailout. For who, she doesn’t know—doesn’t think that she’s too drunk to need it, but she takes it anyway.
“Oh, she promised she wouldn’t!” Sylvie goes along with the lie Kim has spun. “I’m sorry for inconveniencing you,”
“Eh. It’s no problem.” Kim shrugs her off with a wave of a hand.
“I was actually about to leave myself. I can take Brett, you can just relax. That way I can continue telling her some patrol stories,” Roman inserts himself back in the conversation but Kim has no patience for him.
“We’re partners, I can tell her the stories. C’mon, Sylvie, let’s go.” Kim gently encourages Sylvie up. There’s a disappointment at not being able to expend all this tension away, but girl code is more important, and girl code is telling her to go with Kim.
“We have to walk around the block—I don’t actually have my car, so we’ll have to call a taxi.” Kim tells her when they leave Molly’s, arms linked. Neither of them are anything more than tipsy, but Sylvie finds herself giggling at her words.
“Then why did you drag me out? Was a guy bothering you?” She asks.
“Oh, trust me, I did that for you. You’d regret that so much tomorrow. The guy’s my partner and all, but he... I was on patrol with his ex. Going there—that wouldn’t give you any sort of satisfaction.” Kim explains, and Sylvie widens her eyes, giggling again.
“Really?” The irony of Sylvie spending the evening denying that she cares about gossip saying this, leaning in with intrigue, is not lost on her.
“Jenn didn’t say anything outright but... I asked why she got engaged so quickly and she expressed that he—her fiancé—is very talented with his tongue, if you get what I mean. I inferred the rest. A man who won’t eat out his girl is not a man worth your time.” Kim says very manner of fact, and Sylvie laughs at it, the brunette joining in shortly after.
“It’s the truth!” Kim insists through her laughter. They’ve walked around the corner, now, Kim quickly dialling for a taxi through her laughs.
“My ex fiancé never did.” Sylvie confesses when their laughter died down. Kim lifts an eyebrow.
“Never?”
“Never. He said it was disgusting. Didn’t stop him wanting me to suck him, though.” Sylvie can’t help the bitter edge to her words, thinking about Harrison and thinking about how she could waste her time on him. Kim, evidently, thinks the same.
“Life is too short for those kinds of men.” Kim says. Her words are assured, confident, just a statement and Sylvie just hums in response, thinking that Kim probably never wasted years like she did.
“Hey, Sylvie. I don’t mean that like... You deserve so much better.” Kim picks up on her sudden drop of mood. “I don’t know why we lower ourselves for arses like that, but you deserve so much better. Better than people like Harrison and Roman.”
“So do you—if your exes never..?” Sylvie quickly adds on and Kim lets out a snort.
“Oh yeah. I’ve dated my fair share of arseholes.” She nods. “I don’t know why they’re like this. You’re so pretty, I don’t know how anyone could want to fuck you and not completely worship you.”
This time, Sylvie does not laugh at the bluntness of Kim’s words, instead blushing a fierce shade of pink. She was only half looking at Kim when she said those words, but now Sylvie looks at the other woman more directly. She is greeted by Kim looking at her—although, maybe staring would be more accurate. It’s an intense look, a look her friend has never given her before, a look that says that maybe Kim doesn’t want to be just her friend tonight.
It deepens Sylvie’s blush.
The air between them immediately shifts, and it feels almost so natural, Sylvie finds herself questioning whether the air always felt this thick and charged. The air is heavy, and there’s this certain kind of electricity between them; an electric energy of sorts that reminds her of when she was eighteen and her friends and her caught a ride into the nearest big town and snuck into the club—and of Sylvie waiting outside for her friends after and sharing her first—and only—kiss with a girl.
“That’s cos we’re women, though? We know what we want.” Sylvie tries to push all those thoughts aside.
Tries to ignore what she feels building in the air—because surely, it’s just in her mind? Just because she was thinking about throwing caution to the wind and having a night of passionate, explosive sex—and tries to not focus on how pretty Kim looks, how she looks like she’s the best and worst decision she could ever make wrapped up in one.
On how Kim is looking at her with such intense eyes, almost hungry eyes, eyes that says she wants to be one of those men.
“That’s not just why. I wouldn’t just eat you out until you come screaming because I’m a woman, I’d do it because I want to make you come undone at my doing—like you deserve.” Kim’s words sends pulsating throbs through her body, and she can feel herself getting turned on, her body feeling like Kim has just found the secret code to her with just her words. Sylvie stares at Kim, with shock.
“You... I... What?” Sylvie splutters, unsure of what exactly Kim is saying.
“I’m just saying. You’re hot, Brett. I can see why Roman tried.” There’s a pause. “I’m not trying to ruin our friendship. Tell me if I’m wrong, that I’m not picking up on some things and I’ll shut up and just get you home. But if I’m right, I’ll fuck you right.”
“I...” Sylvie is facing Kim dead on, now, the space between them feeling like too much, electric and heavy. It’s dark, the only light being the street lamp. But it catches the side of Kim’s face, lighting it up in such a pretty way and it stirs something deep and primal inside her.
The dark, positively hungry eyes Kim is looking at her with doesn’t help, either. It’s not like earlier, with Roman, it doesn’t make her feel like a piece of meat. It makes her feel like she’s the world’s most precious delicacy and that Kim would give her left arm just to get a taste.
“You’re right.” The words are barely out of her mouth when Kim is closing the space between them. One of her arms slips around the blonde’s waist, pulling her flush to her, the other gently resting on the bend of Sylvie’s neck as she kisses her.
Kim’s lips are soft, her touch gentle. The kiss starts off slow, although Sylvie wouldn’t have thought it with the way her body immediately responds, aching and her heart beating. But then Kim deepens the kiss, encouraging her mouth to open wider, slipping in her tongue. Sylvie responds eagerly, her arms wrapping around Kim, practically grabbing hold of her so she can return the kiss more fiercely.
If this was a preview into the abilities of Kim’s tongue, Sylvie doesn’t think that she’ll have to work her long before—to use Kim’s words—Sylvie’s coming undone at her doing.
When the taxi arrives, honking it’s horn on the two, busy kissing each other like they’re the only people in the world, the alcohol running through their veins and their and respective tiring days edging them on, making them so filled with want for this, they pull apart, out of breath, chest heaving.
They share smiles, little light-hearted giggles as they pull apart, climbing into the taxi. Kim opens the door, grabbing at Sylvie’s hand as she does so before moving swiftly out the way so she can climb in first.
They don’t make out in the taxi. They’re not even jammed up too close together, their bodies just turned towards each other. They are close enough for them to still have their hands interlocked, although it’s more like their arms at places and for their feet to lightly tap at the other’s, playing a footsy kind of game but they’re friends, they shared a taxi before, they’ve even had this ease of physical contact before.
Sylvie would almost wouldn’t be able to tell that the line between friends and lovers had been blurred for tonight, if it wasn’t for the electric energy between them, from how Sylvie’s just waiting until they can get back to hers, and how whenever Kim moves her fingers up and down her arm, gently running against her skin, it feels like little shocks.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been to yours,” Kim says as Sylvie leads her up the stairs. They’re deviating between holding hands and not, joking around as they make their way. Sometimes Kim’s spinning ahead of her, their hands dropping from their grip, and sometimes Sylvie is.
“We have only known each other a year and we have busy jobs.” Sylvie points out. Kim sticks out her tongue playfully and Sylvie has to stop herself from capturing it, and kissing Kim again. “This is me.”
Sylvie goes in first, opening her front door and placing her keys in her pot. Kim follows, and Sylvie watches as the brunette kicks off her shoes immediately, shrugging off her coat. For someone who’s never been here before, Kim fills the air with a confidence and it only fuels Sylvie’s need, her own confidence as the volcano erupts.
With a swift kick, Sylvie shuts her door and then her hands are on Kim, pulling her close. She grabs her hand, stopping her from moving further away from her, pulling her to her and capturing her lips in a kiss.
“Hm,” Kim moans against her, kissing her with a casual, yet urgent force. The melodic hum is tinted in amusement, and she pulls away briefly, to Sylvie’s disappointment. “So, we’re going straight to this? Aren’t even going to ask if I want a beer?”
Her words are said in an amused tone, but Sylvie still finds herself blushing, cursing herself slightly.
“Oh. Right. Sorry. Do you—” She’s interrupted by Kim kissing her.
“You’re so easy to tease. Don’t worry, I don’t want anything to drink. Eat, maybe.” Sylvie goes to panic again but then she sees the glint sparkling away in her eye and she blushes, getting the play on words.
“Hm, well there’s only one thing on the menu if you’re,” she pauses, “Hungry,”
Sylvie could swear that Kim licks her lips but then the brunette is kissing her again and all thoughts go out of her head, the only thing on her mind being the taste of Kim and getting her to her bedroom as soon as she can.
Neither of them are determined to disconnect from one another for long, not even in the interest in getting to her bed unscathed from injuries. Kim hits into the sofa and Sylvie nearly trips over something she left on the floor, but the two stay touching, kissing each other hungrily and needily.
Sylvie would love to say that she savoured the moment Kim took off her top, but any clothes removed is done hastily, urgently, the clothes feeling too much, too intrusive. All Sylvie can do is give Kim a quick, appreciative look over after she tosses off her top.
Although, she thinks, that could do more with that Kim then helps her get her top off, and rewards her with her lips on her neck immediately after.
“There,” Sylvie manages to gasp out, pointing at which door is her bedroom’s, as Kim pushes her up against her wall, attacking her neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh. She’s going to have a mark there tomorrow, but tonight, tonight she doesn’t care, just tilting her head aside for her to have more access, her hands just grabbing at Kim as she does so.
Despite the urgency to get this far into her apartment, Kim has apparently decided they don’t need to finish the stretch right now, focusing on kissing along her collarbone, back up along her neck and jawline, stealing kisses from her lips before heading back down. She doesn’t go too far down with her kisses, but it’s enough to send Sylvie’s mind haywire, especially when she brushes along with her teeth.
All Sylvie can do is grab at Kim’s hair, the other hand resting on her waist, running up and down her back with her nails and moan at the kisses, grasping at her. One of Sylvie’s legs loops around Kim’s in a kind of way, pulling her lower body closer to her own, in the perfect place for Sylvie to grind against, needing to alleviate some tension.
It’s only when Kim’s hand snakes away from it’s current position and runs along the waistband of her jeans, deftly undoing her button and slipping inside does Sylvie gasp, pushing at Kim slightly. Kim’s hand is still cold from the cool Chicago night air, and Sylvie can feel the cold as Kim runs her hand against the cotton of her panties, lightly brushing over her throbbing clit.
“Bedroom. Kim, bedroom,” Sylvie gasps.
“Hm. Impatient, are we?” Kim grins at her, and Sylvie can’t help comparing it to a wolf looking at it’s prey. The brunette is so sweet and kind, Sylvie never would’ve guessed that she was like this—so confident and devious—in the bedroom. Or, rather, the hallway. But Sylvie wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kim steps away from Sylvie then, and she immediately misses the warmth of her body, and her hand's presence from where it was so close to where she wants—no, needs—her. She’s going into Sylvie’s bedroom, beckoning the blonde to follow.
Sylvie is starting to rather feel like putty in Kim’s hands, and she’s never been a passive participant in her sex life—well, except when she lets men (Harrison) rule how she should be—and she’s not about to start.
She follows Kim on through, and she already has an advantage knowing the layout of her bedroom. Sylvie’s hands are on Kim again, and she’s leading, practically pushing, Kim to her bed, the brunette having no choice but to lie down on it, Sylvie immediately straddling her.
“Not a very good cop, are you?” Sylvie teases her, and when Kim goes to protest, she grinds down slightly, knowing exactly where it’ll cause friction. It has the desired effect, Kim moaning, her eyes fluttering shut slightly. Her hands are resting of Sylvie’s hips, and they go up then, stroking at the soft skin of her stomach.
“Bra, off. Now,” Kim says, running a hand along the edge of the bra. Sylvie grins wickedly at her, wondering why Kim ever thought she still had the upper hand, to doll out an order.
“Yes. That’s a good idea.” Sylvie shifts down Kim slightly, resting more weight on her own kneeled legs, allowing for Kim to sit up. The brunette clearly thinks it’s so she can help Sylvie with the bra, but Sylvie catches her hands, stopping her, and instead undoes Kim’s bra.
Sylvie’s never been intimate with a woman like this. There’s been those dreams—day dreams and actual dreams—that she spent a while trying to ignore, and thinking she’ll never act upon. But she’s never, physically, been with one and whereas her confidence has gotten her this far, she falters as Kim takes off her bra.
There’s that hesitation, that hesitation that she wants Kim—needs Kim—that this is exactly how she wants to explode tonight, but there’s that knowledge that she’s inexperienced in this, hitting her as she’s confronted with Kim’s naked chest.
“Is this too much?” Kim picks up straight away that Sylvie is having a moment, her eyebrows furrowing, turning concerned. “We can stop or just make out. Whatever you want—consent still applies with two women, y’know, and I won’t mind.”
Sylvie looks at her, Kim’s voice so gentle and caring, her big, brown eyes only filled with concerned, and something inside her throbs and Sylvie’s hesitation wears off as she realises that there’s nothing to be intimidated by, and Kim won’t mind if she has to guide her a little.
“Nah, I’m just taking your beauty in.” Sylvie jokes, before adding more seriously, “This is exactly what I want, Kim.”
“Good.” Kim smiles. “Because I’m feeling that we should even things here.”
Sylvie should’ve know that Kim would take off her bra as soon as she could, the brunette raking her eyes greedily over her body. She grabs at Sylvie’s thighs, positioning her in a way that she can sit on her and they can kiss with ease.
Kim doesn’t spend long kissing her lips before she’s travelling again, her fingers gently tracing patterns on her back as she kisses down her neck, collarbone, going between kisses and nips. Sylvie tries to adjust herself so that she can kiss the dip of Kim’s shoulder as she does so, but Kim tries her hardest to stop any attempts, not wanting to be restricted in her own explorations.
When Kim’s mouth gets to her chest, she pauses. Sylvie has barely any time to wonder what will happen next when Kim’s hand is palming one breast, making her gasp in surprise. The brunette lifts her mouth from her body, instead taking advantage of her agape mouth, kissing her deep. And then she’s moving them, laying Sylvie down, shifting who’s winning this lustful game of cat and mouse they’re playing.
Kim doesn’t straddle her like Sylvie did earlier, just making them vertical, Kim between her legs. She’s squeezing her breast again, and then her mouth is around the other’s nipple, rolling her tongue around it, and Sylvie lets out a loud moan she’d almost be embarrassed about if it didn’t feel so good. Kim works her like this for god knows how long before switching.
And then Kim is once again pulling away and Sylvie pouts, to Kim’s amusement.
“Don’t worry, baby,” Kim coos at her. “I’m just taking off your jeans so I can fuck you with my mouth.”
Sylvie never knew hearing Kim swear could sound so hot.
“Your jeans too. I was you as naked as I am,” She doesn’t know how she still has brain power to compose thoughts, focused so much on the needy ache in her body.
Kim steps off the bed so that she can shimmy off her jeans. Her panties match the bra she was wearing and Sylvie couldn’t even describe how much that made her desire spike. She wonders if Kim was working today and if she changed before going to Molly’s—curious to know if Kim wore such lacy stuff to work.
Surely not? Sylvie sure as hell doesn’t, let alone wearing a matching set.
“Like what you see?” Kim flirts before climbing back onto the bed, immediately getting to work on helping Sylvie get off her own jeans. There’s a moment when they’re off that Sylvie gets momentarily self conscious of her near-naked body, but then Kim’s running a finger along her panties again, pressing down on her clit through the fabric.
The sound it elicits from her is a mix between a gasp, moan and whine.
“Kim,” Sylvie practically begs as she releases the pressure, resuming to gentle barely there strokes as she returns her mouth to her breasts, collarbone and neck. Kim seems to get the message because then she’s—with skill that makes Sylvie wonder just how many times Kim has done this—hooking her fingers around her panties and taking them off.
She doesn’t hesitate to resume her actions, now without the fabric in the way. Kim dips a finger inside her, her thumb brushing against her clit with differentiating levels of pressure and Sylvie can’t help but shut her eyes and moan at the sensation, Kim working her with her talented fingers.
“You’re so wet,” Kim whispers into her ear, nibbling against her jawline before adding another finger. She laughs hotly against her as Sylvie tightens, squeezing Kim’s fingers. She’s just about used to the feeling, and the motions, a pressure inside her building, but then Kim’s pulling them out and she’s whining.
And then Kim’s pulling away from her, and Sylvie just about opens her eyes, lifting up her head, in time to see down her body, looking devilishly. And then Kim’s licking her and it’s everything she’s wanted, needed, and her head is falling back down. Kim works her with her mouth, and all Sylvie can think is about how indeed, Kim is mightily skilled with her tongue.
The tension in Sylvie builds quickly, fast approaching her orgasm, Kim lapping at her and using her fingers to add that extra sensation, rubbing and pinching, alternating between making she’s in place and fondling her breasts and Sylvie’s gripping at her covers, gasping and whining as she writhes, overwhelmed at the sensations.
All thoughts have left her mind, and all Sylvie can focus on is the quick approaching climax, not caring about how lost in it she must be—not caring how loud she’s being, how unfiltered and uncontrolled she is, just focused on how good Kim is making her feel.
And then she reaches her climax, Kim is taking her over and she gets her wish—it’s everything Sylvie has needed, and she screams, full of ecstasy, her body overcome with sensation, toes curling as she comes around Kim’s tongue, the brunette continuing to lap at her, guiding her through her orgasm.
“That...” Sylvie pants as soon as she can. “That—exactly what I needed.”
It’s not perfect grammar, but she thinks Kim gets it, if how she smiles and moves so she’s cuddling against Sylvie, is any indication.
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egcdeath · 4 years ago
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wrong place, wrong time
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summary: a drunken mishap leads you to reconcile with someone from your past. (based off this prompt)
pairing: andy barber x reader 
word count: 2.1k
author’s note: this fic has been sitting in my drafts, half finished, for like months. i hope you enjoy!
warnings: extremely brief mention of cheating
“I just think things would be better if we… you know, saw other people,” Oliver explained through the phone. 
You sighed dejectedly into the microphone, before deciding to hang up, and aggressively tossing your phone onto the leather seat next to you. You’d already had a shit day at work, and you really didn’t think that you could handle all of this today. Especially considering that you were almost certain that there was the hint of a feminine giggle in the background of that call.
You’d been expecting this for a while, your relationship with Oliver had been falling apart- slowly but surely- for a few months now, and he was ‘working late’ way too many nights for you not to be the slightest bit suspicious. But it still hurt, you were now single, and you’d essentially wasted a precious year of your life with a douchebag who ended up leaving you anyway.
You pressed your foot on the gas, and began your drive back home, before telling yourself fuck it, and deciding to turn onto a side road so you could head to your local pub. 
-----
Several drinks later, you were extremely drunk. From that point on, everything was a bit of a blur.
You stumbled out of the bar (against your own will? You vaguely remember someone telling you that you needed to leave), sat in the back of an Uber (how much did you tell them? Probably too much), arrived at your home (but why weren’t your keys working?).
Things were a bit less blurry here. You can remember yourself repeatedly stabbing your keys into the door, and when that didn’t seem to work, deciding to hoist yourself over your fence, and get in through the back.
During this whole ordeal, you tripped over a seat on the patio, losing a shoe in doing so, and nearly fell into a pool, since when did my house have a pool? You ignored that thought, then opened the back door, getting in with no resistance. 
You hobbled inside, closed the door behind you, then stumbled up the stairs, before finally finding your (?) bedroom. You flopped down in bed before realizing that you really needed to pee, and as you went to go find your bathroom, everything seemed to go black. 
----
You woke up extremely disoriented in a vaguely familiar bathtub. It faintly smelled of pine, and possibly a hint of vanilla. The tub had a modern and sleek look, yet appeared to be as sterile as a hospital room. This was absolutely not your home. But it possibly belonged to someone you knew. The tiles lining the wall did seem to ring a bell somewhere deep in the foggy abyss of your hungover brain. 
As you sat up, you groaned due to the consistent pulsing in your head. This had to be one of the worst hangovers you’d had in a while, and you were lucky that you didn’t lean over and empty the contents of your stomach right that instant.
“Stupid fucking Y/N,” you whispered to yourself. “You’re lucky all of your organs are still intact.” After stating this, you glanced down at your torso just to make sure. But a larger question still remained, where were you? Did you hook up with someone? Did you just randomly break into someone’s home? That’s a little ridiculous. Who would do something like that?
Apparently, drunk you would. In the process of exiting the tub, you concluded that you absolutely were in someone elses' gargantuan of a home, and that that person was undoubtedly down the hall, taking a phone call. Also, you were definitely missing a shoe.
You glared at yourself in the mirror, smeared makeup on your face, hair that looked so frizzy that you may as well have been struck by lightning, and of course the overwhelming scent of dry liquor that seemed to be seeping out of your skin. You turned on the sink and splashed your face, trying to completely wake up, and to partially figure out if this was real life, or just a horrible dream. 
“Fuck!” you exclaimed out loud to yourself. How would you even get out of this situation alive? Perhaps you could find a window to jump out of. No, too dangerous. Hide in the bathroom until the man leaves? Well, everyone has to go to the bathroom at some point. Leave without being spotted? Mhm, very likely. Go talk to the homeowner? It doesn’t seem like you have any other option right now. You internally screamed at yourself for being so reckless, especially having gone through all of this drama for a guy who didn’t deserve one ounce of your attention.
You slipped off your remaining shoe, then slowly made your way out of the bathroom, peeking behind the doorway to see if the coast was clear, and trying to plan your explanation in the process. As you peered around, searching for the quickest and easiest exit, you realized just how familiar the home was. But what really did it for you was a painting on the wall. 
This was Andy Barber’s home. The same man you hooked up with a few times before ghosting. You sighed exasperatedly at your own poor decision making for what felt like the millionth time that morning.
You had to get the hell out of here. Fast. Lost shoe be damned.
You somewhat remembered the floor plan, so managing to get out unnoticed began to seem just a tad bit more possible. You began to jog it down the hall, trying not to be too heavy footed as you went, in the event that Andy was standing in the eyeline of one of the open doors. Unfortunately for you, in the midst of your beeline down the hall, you were spotted. 
“What the..? You know what Lynn, I’ll call you back in a bit.”
“I can explain! Don’t like… kill me or something. I promise you that this is just a big misunderstanding,” you were speaking without really processing anything that you were saying. You turned to face the man, and couldn’t help but to smirk a bit at the sight of him. You forgot just how attractive he was, with a full beard, fluffy hair, and soft blue eyes that seemed to be boring straight into your soul from across the room. Not to mention his sculpted body, which you swore you could make out beneath his sweatpants, and worn white shirt. Really, Y/N? First you ghost a man, break into his home a year later, and now you’re objectifying him? 
You moved towards the door and began to speak again, your words flowing out at a million miles per minute, “Uhm, so long story short, I basically got really drunk last night, and I thought your house was mine, so I kinda broke in. But I’ll be seeing myself out now,” You gave a curt smile, and looked towards the stairs. “Before I go, any chance that you’ve seen my left shoe somewhere around here?”
It was clear that Andy was very confused, but as you read his face, you could see that he was far more intrigued than angry. “Hey, not so fast.” He approached you quickly, his eyebrows lifting in surprise, and his mouth gaping open slightly. “No fuckin’ way. Y/N?”
You scratched the back of your head awkwardly and nodded, “yeah.” 
“You’re not getting off the hook that easily. Lucky for you, I was about to make breakfast, aaaand I’m not totally opposed to being joined,” he gave you a genuine smile, and a playful little shrug. 
“That’s fine with me but- this sounds kinda strange- can I use your shower first?”
“Go right ahead. Mi casa su casa, right? I mean, kinda sounds like that’s what you were thinking last night,” Andy peered at you inquisitively at this, “I’m just kidding. Feel free to use anything you need.”
You couldn’t even blame Andy for his passive aggression, but that didn’t stop you from sulking the whole way back into the bathroom.
----
“I forgot how good your water pressure is,” you announced while coming down the stairs, clad in a college hoodie that you’d found in the depths of Andy’s closet, and shorts that were just a tad too large for you.
“Thanks, I guess?” Andy flipped a pancake, then turned to get a good look at you. 
“You’re welcome. It smells so good down here,” you slipped into a barstool at his granite island, and observed him while he cooked, “so... you still live here alone?” You asked while you were passed a mug of coffee.
“Well, yeah. I mean that’s kind of what happens after your wife and son die.”
“Uhm.. sorry. For bringing that up again,” you glanced down awkwardly at your dark drink. 
“It’s okay, they’ve been gone for a while,” he sat down at his seat, setting down a plate of food for you and himself. “What’ve you been up to? Apart from breaking and entering, of course.”
“Ha ha, very funny,” you began, cutting into a syrup-soaked pancake. “You’re no saint either. I can’t think of anyone in their right mind who would gladly break bread with someone who drunkenly broke into their home.”
“That’s fair,” Andy stated, almost dismissively. “But it's not like we’re total strangers. We have history.”
You scoffed at this, “like hell we do,” you muttered. “Anyway, things with me have been pretty boring. Same job. I had a boyfriend, but he just dumped me like, 12 hour ago. I’m pretty sure that he’s been cheating on me for like, the past four months.”
“That sucks,” Andy commented, shoveling a piece of pancake into his mouth. 
“Yeah, it does. How about you?”
“You know, same old. Still an ADA, still getting messages from random people about that trial, and of course, still perpetually lonely.”
“By no means do I mean to impede, but maybe you’d be a little less lonely if you let people in,” you suggested, looking up from your food to Andy, whose face gave away the offense he was feeling, “I said maybe.”
“What do you mean?” He questioned, brows furrowing.
“Come on, Andrew. You know exactly what I mean. Like with us, I thought everything was going perfectly well, until I was half asleep and you were telling me that you weren’t ready to commit. Literally moments after you were balls-deep in me.”
“Don’t call me that, Y/N,” Andy squinted at you in agitation. “Is that why you stopped picking up my calls?”
“What do you think?”
He sighed softly, “If it’s any consolation, I’ve been trying to do better. I talk to a… counselor… every now and then. Everything’s just been different ever since they passed, you know? It’s hard to form connections after your most intimate ones disappear in the blink of an eye.”
You frowned a bit at the man, and set down your fork. “I get it. I’m sorry.”
“Do you, though? Get it?”
“Not really. I was just trying to be supportive,” you turned a bit in your seat to get a better view of Andy. “I just wonder if we had this conversation a year ago if you and I would be in a better position now. I really liked you a lot.”
Andy was silent for a moment, and observed you pensively. “Let’s try again, then. It seems like you and I both are ready for something new.”
“Oh Andy,” you rubbed the back of your neck anxiously. “I just got out of a relationship less than a day ago.”
“Then we can take this, whatever it might end up being, slow. It would be nice to have a friend around who doesn’t just want to talk about work, and tell me that they’re sorry for my loss.”
You nodded, “I’ll probably need a shoulder to cry on at some point sooner than later.”
“So... friends?”
“Friends,” you agreed with a smile and a lift of your shoulders. 
Part of you hoped that maybe, just maybe, this could be the start of something great.
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beyondd-dazedd · 3 years ago
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bren’s thoughts from this past episode because i’ve seen it so many times now and i’ve got a lot of thoughts so here’s season 2 episode 7 of hsmtmts (a rant):
portwell morning announcements?? ICONIC whether you’re vibing with a romantic or platonic endgame the fondness and their chemistry is amazing. (sofia wylie and matt cornett better be sending their hospital bill to disney because they are literally carrying season 2 on their backs and i said what i said.)
the rini drama?? feels bad. like the way they built up the end of season 1 with them to have it come crashing down feels like drama just for the sake of drama and honestly it’s a little boring to me which is unfortunate because i really did like them season 1.
ricky my sweet baby ricky. you need therapy. but also he was right about the rose song and i stand by that. it doesn’t fit the show and i think he has a right to try to explain his feelings without nini shutting him down. i am all for nini focusing on her own music and thriving through that but don’t shut him down sis that ain’t it
the costume reveal scene was so funny from the DEH thing to carlos popping off on kourt to seb mediating to EJ and kourt’s convo about the costume i thought it was all really funny. also carlos totally had the right to snap at kourt because wtf kourt. HOWEVER i loved seeing her all giggly and excited. it’s a side of her character we haven’t really seen yet and i think dara completely embodied that high school first real relationship giddiness. also loved miss jenn saying don’t dance with the enemy and all of them IMMEDIATELY ignoring her and going to north high followed by her also ignoring her own advice and going as well.
all of them joining together to sneaky steal the mask back?? iconic. peak friendship vibes. carlos being the leader of the group in a sense this season is something i’m LIVING for. also Gina 1.0 to 2.0 is a spiritual journey and i’m so proud of her. Ash dressing up for the mission?? that’s so her (she’s undercover let her live wildcats). the disappointment in carlos’s face when they all finished the wildcat cheer?? that got me. frankie does so well with carlos’s facial acting and i love it.
also gina baby you got all these boys vying for your attention why are you wasting your time on ricky?? ricky baby i love you but you’re being an asshat about that whole thing. the way ricky hasn’t really taken into consideration gina’s feelings is not it. he really is just kind of trapped in his own world and refuses to see anything from someone else’s perspective. i saw someone talk about how ricky is the beast in this season. like yes he’s playing the beast but he’s also metaphorically taken on that role. he’s lashing out at people who don’t deserve it, he feels misunderstood, he’s struggling, etc.
ANYWAYS that’s my thoughts of rina right now so back to the episode. EJ coming in to help get gina out of the situation with the guy was fake dating excellence truly. there’s no way he heard what was being said since you can’t see him in the background at all so either he’s picked up on gina’s reactions so well that he could tell she was uncomfortable or he had a lil jealous moment. either way i’m here for it. and again whether you like them platonically together or romantically together that portwell scene was adorable as hell. the teasing ?? the fondness?? both sofia and matt’s acting is incredible. also a GREAT parallel to the homecoming episode to show just how far their relationship has come.
the rini drama plus kourt being giddy again. portwell standing next to each other?? antoine’s use of the word fugly really shows how unhinged this show is. lily proposing a dance off and everyone being like ??? no that’s fucking weird was hilarious. gina standing up for her sister ashlynn like that was gold.
man you may hate her (i do too) but lily is damn good at stirring the pot. i almost admire her complete understanding of the drama going on in everyone’s lives. she knows exactly what she’s doing when she says particular things.
the scene with antoine and ashlynn was so hilarious. joshua bassett seriously does not get a break from this damn show comparing him to people that are way more famous than him lol. also red hitting himself in the face was adorable and no i won’t take criticisms on that. also antoine is BOLD bold.
EJ cheering while everyone is upset that it was the mob song?? big golden retriever energy. i love him.
i don’t know if this is an unpopular opinion but i actually really liked this version of the mob song. they really leaned into the whole stupidity of the dance off idea and i think it actually works out well. plus there’s a ton of talented people on that track which makes it so much better. (also thought east high should have won on vocals alone. no their dancing wasn’t better but they had that really nice blend on their vocals and they all seemed a lot less frantic than north did.) also if they had let sofia just be sofia and dance. east high wouldve won on that alone.
i liked the song with miss jenn and zack. the choreo was beautiful but god i hate zacky roy. and that’s all i’ll say on that. (miss jenn i know that’s derek hough but you got two other very nice gentlemen who want you. don’t go for the low hanging fruit sis)
what was the point of lily telling them they would be disqualified if they used the rose song?? the only thing i can think of is she wants it to be a fair fight. which is noble i guess?? i don’t have time to psychoanalyze lily and no one wants that.
EJ’s face when they all turned to him for the sports metaphor had me sCREAMING and all of them being disappointed and talking over one another was very funny.
nini joining up with the group at the last minute seems to be her thing lately huh? i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again ricky was right about the song.
the couples walking out together. ft. nini and ricky fighting (again). PORTWELL EXCELLENCE (and huge dorks. i love them). red and ashlynn getting a bit rocky which at first i was like why is red jealous but then i remembered its high school. seb, carlos and kourt is an iconic trio. seb and carlos running off to avoid the drama is the gay agenda but also being in on the drama is the gay agenda. you feel??
HOWIE?!! why am i gasping i knew that? the fact that some of y’all really thought they would cast roman banks on this show and let howie go free without any drama?? nah man he had to be the beast for north fOR THE DRAMA. my baby kourt looked so hurt im so sorry beautiful. howie looking so guilty and upset?? heart breaking.
all in all i really loved this episode. i thought it was well done and set up a lot of plot lines. i don’t love how much some of the stuff feels like drama for the sake of drama but we’ll see. i’m sorta over rini this season as of this point. rina is in shambles because wtf ricky. portwell is alive and thriving as they should. seblos is beautiful and wonderful as always (i think the sassy verging on mean and the literal ball of sunshine is always a great pairing) redlynn is a little rocky but they’re both so empathetic and sweet that i think it’ll work out alright. kourt and howie (kowie?? hourtney??) is not doing too hot but i LOVE them together so they better gets their shit together.
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