#so many new theories

[witherfide]

2 years since security breach already ??

[gallifreyanhotfive]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

*tries to organize my thoughts*

*remembers i'm not in school and therefore beholden to neither heaven nor hell nor any man's grading system*

*joyously shredding & tossing all my carefully arranged 3x5 mental notecards into the air like so much beige confetti. raising my arms in victory, cheering raucously until i accidentally inhale bits of homemade confetti*

(*coughing up itty bits of paper like a cat evicting a hairball with a firm understanding of tenants' rights*) wait wat happens next

[bunnieswithknives]

hey in ur peri animatic: (https://youtu.be/OCqlRuDaXYU?si=K52WDu_vw9rg7chz) that I have been permanently obsessed over since today and have watched about 20 times by now so much that I have drawn & posted stuff based on it what was that partial bug form peri had?

I haven’t watched either of the show btw so if it’s explained in the show please tell me plsssss

OK, SO the bug thing is not technically canon to the series. It's based on my own headcanons for fairy biology, but i do have justifications for it!! Fairies have very strong shape-shifting abilities, so it would make sense that the form they show to humans isn't necessarily their true form(not to mention extreme that mimicry is very common in insects). And you want to know the visible traits almost every fairy has in common? Being very small with Insect-like wings.

The fact that their humanoid form isn't their true form in actually confirmed in the show! Cosmo and Wanda are revealed to look like biblically accurate pseudo-angels in the museum episode. (I say pseudo angels because the Flaming Sword of Eden is only debatably sentient and I don't think is considered an angel. Ophanim are also debatably not angels because they don't have wings (sorry for the angel tangent I like angels))

So wouldn't their true forms be angelic then? Well, yes. But I like bugs so. Also I have more headcanons to justify myself. I like to think that they have both a true-true form (incomprehensible to the human brain, probably exists mostly in a dimension invisible to us, that looks how we imagine biblically accurate angels), and a fairy form (which is visible to humans but is naturally very insect like and tends to scare people). So, in order to interact with humans, they have to learn to shapeshift into a humanoid form but will occasionally slip if they get too relaxed/aren't careful, hence the mandibles coming out when he yawns!

The reason they struggle so much more with human forms than the animals or objects they typically turn into is that, well, they aren't trying to convince those animals or objects. The more human they try to look, the harder it is to keep up convincingly. If you turn into a really uncanny squirrel, only other squirrels will notice. If you turn into a really uncanny human, they form a lynch mob and burn you at the stake.

[a-very-tired-jew]

So I've seen a few of my mutuals clutching their pearls over the UHC shooter being praised, others cheering him on, and some cheering him on reluctantly. While nobody asked for it, I'm going to give my input as a forensic specialist and consultant.

We have a multi tiered judicial system that splits things into "price points". If you're in certain tax brackets you get tried a certain way. If you're a corporation, CEO of a big corporation, or a board member / officer then you also get special treatment as well.

(In fact, one of the best recent representations of this is the trial scene from the new season of Helluva Boss where Solas is not executed when taking responsibility for the crime Blitz is accused of when Blitz was going to be executed for it.)

We then split all of this into what we call "blue collar" and "white collar" crime. White collar crime does more damage to people than what we classify as blue collar crime.

The latter is what we make television shows and podcasts out of, the former is maybe touched upon in a legal or financial drama.

The latter involves people who fall in the realm of Ed Gein who maybe kill into the double digits, the former involves people who make decisions that harm and/or kill into the hundreds if not thousands.

The latter involves robberies and assaults, the latter involves people going into debt because of a corporate decision and maybe committing suicide because they can't pay it off.

The latter involves vandalism of a building, the former involves a company being slapped with a fine because they polluted an entire area and now the residents have to deal with life altering and damaging health issues.

In my time as a forensic consultant I have worked cases that would fit into Hannibal very easily. So have my colleagues. It's not uncommon for us to encounter something at a crime scene that we would call ontologically evil because it is absolutely horrific to witness. I've been on a few cases where I would definitely classify the perpetrator of the crime as such.

But considering all of that... I would still say the worst crimes are committed by corporations and their leadership because they do so much more damage. They harm so many more people and our legal system is not set up for that.

It's set up to handle the murder, the robbery, and so on. It's set up so that people can receive justice for very immediate and visceral crimes. It's punitive and handles the individual.

It was barely set up to handle something like Love Canal.

It's definitely not set up to measure and act upon the scale of harm that corporations and their leadership impart upon the average citizen through exploiting loopholes in regulations, committing actual criminal behavior, and other unethical acts that simply result in a fine. It doesn't know how to prosecute a company and its leadership for causing lifelong harm to people.

We are still using criminological theory from the 18th century as the basis for a lot of our criminal justice system. So you can understand why it's not set up to handle white collar crime that would impact whole populations.

I personally can't recall any conversation with a colleague where we discussed a CEO or board members actually being charged with something that encapsulated the harm they did to people. It's always some form of fraud or embezzlement, because money matters more.

That's the issue. Those charges usually result in a fine which can easily be paid off and then they're back to it. Maybe they get fired, maybe the company is dissolved, but rarely do we get a Bernie Madoff like ending. Even then, the charge against Madoff was for the ponzi scheme he was running. A financial crime.

And that's the crux of it all. We are all witness to the privileges given to certain tax brackets here in the USA. The blatant corruption, bending of ethics and morals, and exploitation of legal and regulatory loopholes with no real recourse. I'm not surprised something like this happened. I'm shocked that it didn't happen sooner to be honest. Yes, we can change the system in some instances. But in others? You're naive. Completely and utterly. Remember my post about the ghost gun and how the NRA controls firearm research in this country and threatens careers? That's been since the 90s. That's 30ish years. You sound just like the grad student who comes in with big ideas who thinks they can change the system and we all look at you and go "good luck kid, but here's all our attempts, our continuing attempts, and the threats we've gotten." It's a been there, done that situation that only changes when the powers that be actually feel that they're no longer untouchable and under threat. It's the way it has always been (I even have some examples in entomology like this I can throw out there as well).

Now, I'm not saying we should go full Robespierre and drag every CEO out to the guillotine. I'm not an accelerationist or maximalist by any account. But I'm not crying over this at all, nor am I shaming anyone who is cheerfully celebrating. Hell, many of us recently celebrated the death of leaders whose crimes would fall into the blue collar category (and you should be able to understand the impact of both and how bad both things are).

But our legal system needs a complete and utter overhaul to handle white collar crime that happens in the modern era and address the very real harm that these companies and leadership do. I would love to see actual legal repercussions for these companies and have them held accountable for the harm they've done. But I realistically don't think that will happen in my life time, and neither do a lot of others. Hence why something like this did happen, and will likely happen again.

[s0fter-sin]

one of my favourite aspects of supernatural that you very rarely see in paranormal shows is that sam and dean are already versed in the world they live in. there’s no sudden discovery of ghosts and demons and now they have to learn about them along with the audience; they are born into it and already know all about it. it allows the audience to follow their personal story instead of also trying to figure out this new world and its rules

the first season is full of knowledge we never see them learn; “w*ndigoes are in the minnesota woods or- or northern michigan. i’ve never even heard of one this far west.” […] “great. well then this [his gun] is useless.” (1x02), “you don’t break a curse. you get the hell out of its way.” (1x08), d: “it’s a god. a pagan god, anyway.” […] “the annual cycle of its killings? and the fact that the victims are always a man and a woman. like some kind of fertility right.” […] s: “the last meal. given to sacrificial victims. d: “yeah, i’m thinking a ritual sacrifice to appease some pagan god.” (1x11)

almost every episode in the first season is a monster they’ve faced before that they then explain to the audience in a way that should feel patronising; like it’s the same speech given over and over again but instead, the audience almost feels included in the knowledge. it’s stated with such an innate confidence and comfort in said knowledge that it feels like we already knew it too; “spirits and demons don't have to unlock doors. if they want inside, they just go through the walls.” […] “the claws, the speed that it moves; could be a skinwalker, maybe a black dog.” (1x02), “it's biblical numerology. you know noah's ark, it rained for forty days. the number means death.” (1x04), “no no no, not the reaper, a reaper. there's reaper lore in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names.” […] “you said it yourself that the clock stopped, right? reapers stop time. and you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why i could see it and you couldn't.” (1x12)

they already know and, at least in the first season, already have what they need to kill whatever they’re hunting; already know to salt and burn bones for spirits, fire for a w*ndigo, exorcisms for demons, a silver bullet to the heart for shapeshifters. there’s only three times in the entire first season that they run into something new to them; 1x14 when sam gets his first vision that leads him to another psychic, 1x16 when dean calls caleb for help on the sigil he put together and he tells him about daevas, and 1x20 when they find out vampires are real- and they only don’t know that bc john thought they were hunted to extinction and not worth mentioning

(there’s also technically two half instances if you count one of them knowing something the other doesn’t - sam figuring out the tulpa in 1x17 and dean already knowing about the shtriga in 1x18 - but those still rely on sam and dean having prior knowledge)

even when they’re uncertain about facing something, it’s not bc they don’t know what it is; it’s precisely bc they know what it is and acknowledge that it’ll be a difficult hunt (“i don't know, man. this isn't our normal gig. i mean, demons, they don't want anything, just death and destruction for its own sake. this is big. and i wish dad was here.” 1x04)

so much of the tension in paranormal shows typically comes from the main character(s) not knowing what is happening to them/the people around them and having to find out how to resolve it. supernatural is unique in that it operates more like a police procedural. the tension comes from solving the clues and identifying patterns to figure out who (what) the killer is and intercepting before they can take another victim

it’s such a different tone to go for when compared to other shows that came both before, during, and after its run. it sets sam and dean on even footing with each other since they both have the same knowledge going in, and it puts them in a place of authority usually reserved for an outside character

the shows i compare spn to most is charmed, buffy and teen wolf; every main character in those shows are brought into the paranormal world knowing nothing, putting them on the same level as the audience, and they have their mc interact with others already knowledgeable about that world in order to overcome their problem/monster of the week. the audience organically learns about this new world as the characters learn about it. it’s a sound writing strategy that prevents “as we already know”-style exposition but something that complicates it is if your world building isn’t unique or intriguing enough, this slow introduction can become boring

we’ve seen shows like these before; sitting through the same tropes of characters learning to use their powers, struggling with no longer feeling normal/relating to the regular world around them, and not knowing how much they can trust the people already involved in this new world gets repetitive. all three shows eventually reach the same level of comfort with their new world that spn starts with but if the characters aren’t enough to draw you in, you can end up dropping it before they reach that point (and often, before the overarching plot can really kick in and evolve the show beyond the villain of the week format)

it’s the superhero origin movie in tv format; dragged out and overplayed. dropping the audience into an established world of course comes with its own problems but you also have the benefit of pre-existing established character dynamics that let the audience slot in like they’ve always been there instead of just getting to know all the characters while the characters also get to know each other

sam and dean already knowing about the supernatural lets the audience immediately get to the core of the story; the conflict between sam and dean, the search for their father, and the mystery of what killed their mother

[saltedcaramelchaos]

new dimension of Riptide Theories unlocked:

We don't know if anyone else has made a deal with Niklaus

[r0semultiverse]

Okay; so, this was an Ice Prince Finn scarecrow!

[ganondoodle]

(while i am crumbling into pieces from cramp pain)

back when they announced the totk masterworks book i said i wasnt happy about it bc it would either

prove they thought all this was good from the start and everything went as planned

show us that they had unbelievable better ideas and plans but for some unknow reason scrapped it all

as it stands now with the concepts i have seen ... they somehow did both, some things seemed to have been planned fro mthe start (the whole focus on sonau/zonai stuff for example, which i personally just dont like bc i liked them better as an unkown mystery you never get to meet) and other stuff (like ganondorfs concepts, or the infinitely cooler castle in the sky esque concepts for the sky islands, instead of some nonsensical, meaningless little stone crumbs) was much, much more interesting initially (together with the interviews that said they initially planned to have the battery be a magic meter and make the sonau more magic than tech- but then decided to build their stuff around modern electrical devices just so players would immediately know what it was an what it would do -why????? thats so boring?? and unecessary ?? and they still give you tutorials for it anyway, multiple times??!!- for some ungodly reason)

it makes me more and more sure that this game, that took 6 years to make with most assets already being there (the same time that botw took to make?????????), went through a similar development hell as that one final fantasy game did where the director decided to make it an entirely different game every few weeks bc he saw something cool in another game-

its the only thing that makes sense to me, why else would it be so weirdly ... unfinished, its full of grand ideas badly executed, or like i said in a previous post, like an alpha build (weird! did someone in charge also see cool stuff every few months and decide they wanted it in there too no matter what so everyone had to scramble to try and put it in making the whole jenga tower fall over and over??), just to test how far you can push things, with placeholders everywhere, the same cutscene pasted in where another should be and a placeholder reason to get players to go soemwhere (fake zelda) and rough ideas for puzzles etc, that was never finished, jsut highly polished (in looks, sounds and presentation) in hopes of it being 'good enough' or players not noticing (like, take the underground for example, the idea itself is fantastic and cool as fuck, but its feels like an idea that was never finished and just barely fileld with some things to try and cover up the fact that it was never done, like a statue that wasnt done being carved but ran out of time so they painted it anyway- take the base map and invert it, put some easily accessible points of jumping down into it in random spots to test if the game can handle it- no time left to actually get that idea anywhere more specific and well thought out/put together, so its left like that, put the same texture everywhere, barely modified copies of the same enemies, and some little reward spots that make no sense, modelling three types of trees and an enemy camp is way quicker to do than actually making an entire new map (they didnt have to make it the same size btw, just make it big but unique caves, put the gravity effect down there in enclosed spaces! makes it less weird to have randomly happen in the sky! etc) but its there!! its in the game and if they are lucky most players wont go down there enough to notice how meaningless and unfinished it all is)

knowing they would most likely never admit to it though, probably bc of their reputation, is just addign to the frustrations i have with it :I

(i just hate to not know the reason for things, if the devs, who are usually the ones being worked to the bone for things they know arent good, where put through that bc some executive big shot threw their tables around every so often or neglected their project bc they wanted to focus on something else first ... id like to know, i dont enjoy making up these conspiracy (?) theories .......... but i cant shake this feeling, its jsut makes no sense)

[supernaturallyliterate]

I noticed something big about TTPD. I think that it connects to Taylor’s plans for The Eras Tour, the Yellow Brick Road / possible coming out journey, and the New Romantics / Mass Coming Out theory.

If you’re not interested in that type of content, please keep scrolling. But if you’re down to clown and theorize, come on a little adventure with me. 😉

I noticed it first with the song “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus”, so that’s where I’ll start in this analysis.

I think that this song is Taylor telling both Swifties / Hetlors and Gaylors that she is tired of all the expectations and obsession with her sexuality and love life (again). She’s been walking a fine line, Easter egging for both Hetlors and Gaylors for so long. She frames it as a lose-lose situation.

DEEP DIVE ON THE LYRICS:

Your hologram stumbled into my apartment

Hands in the hair of somebody in darkness named Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

And I just watched it happen

I haven’t quite figured out the first few lines. Hologram suggests that the person who arrives isn’t real, or isn’t really there. This could be a reference to “Is that your key in the door?” from Hits Different.

First, it’s been noted before, but the switching between female and gender neutral and male names. This suggests not only multiple muses, but also multiple interpretations. And, of course the queerness of the speaker, which is assumed to be Taylor Swift.

As the decade would play us for fools

It’s been ten years since kissgate. I think when Kaylor first got together and schemed about this coming out plan, they never thought it would take ten years to come to fruition.

And you saw my bones out with somebody new

Who seemed like he would've bullied you in school

And you just watched it happen

First, “my bones” is referring to her body. For her body (pun intended) to be bones, she would have to be dead, and been dead a long time. The death of Taylor Swift. This could be referring to how she was dying inside from the closeting. Her true self was unfulfilled. It could also be referring to the beginning of the death of Taylor the Brand.

“Somebody” is still gender neutral, keeping with the ambiguity of the muse’s gender.

Yet the next line has he/him pronouns. Bearding. Taylor is bearding with a football player. We’ve seen football players bully a gay boy in the Taylorverse before.

If you want to break my cold, cold heart

Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'

If you want to tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

I think the first two lines are for the Hetlors. This would be their reaction to her coming out— “I loved you [your music, etc] when you were straight.” This has Cold as You implications. To the Hetlors, she would be “cold-hearted” snake who was deceiving them by pretending to be straight when she was queer the whole time.

The second two lines are for the Gaylors. I interpret “always wondered” to be about wondering and speculating about Taylor’s sexuality, with possible ties to “Wonderland”. And the first part about breaking her world—that’s what would happen if she came out as queer. Not only would her brand and public world be broken, i.e. never the same, fractured, skewed, etc. The public “betrayal” and all that toxic shit. But also, her private world would be broken and shattered. The lavender haze she and her love created, their secret moments (even if in a crowded room), their coded language, etc would all be revealed. They wouldn’t be able to hide in their own little world anymore. (Also thinking about this in terms of “escaping to a planet where they could all understand it.”)

You said some things that I can't unabsorb

You turned me into an idea of sorts

You needed me but you needed drugs more

The media, the fans, etc have said things about Taylor that stay with her. That impact her deeply. We (and yes, I’m including myself in that) have turned Taylor the person into Taylor the Brand and Taylor the Anti-Hero, etc. All these different versions of her that aren’t truly representative of her true self.

I interpret the “you needed me” as “you needed me the person” and “you needed drugs more” as the addictiveness of Easter eggs, theories, fandom, media consumption, the need for “MORE” from Taylor. (Yes that’s a callback to ICDIWABH.)

And I couldn't watch it happen

And she couldn’t do it anymore. She needed it to end. But how do you break something so carefully crafted? By carefully deconstructing it like a mastermind chess playing badass and then smashing it with a hammer and setting the whole thing on fire.

I changed into goddesses, villains and fools

Changed plans and lovers and outfits and rules

This section reminds me of Mirrorball—she changed herself into different eras and personalities. She’s been a saint and a sinner. The villain reference is very reputation coded.

She changed plans after the Masters Heist and failed coming out during Lover.

Changing lovers refers to “switching out these Kens”, her PR boyfriends.

It also reminds me of Mastermind the game, how she constantly changed her outfits and the rules for her outfits to keep people on their toes.

All to outrun my desertion of you

And you just watched it

She literally said. I’m leaving you. But I don’t want to leave you, so I’ve been dragging it out as long as I can. But I can’t run from it.

And oh, by the way, you just watched it. You just witnessed it unfold. The duplicate meanings of this line!! “You just watched it.” the heartbreak of “you saw it happening and you didn’t do anything to stop it.” And “just” as a way to tell time—you just watched it, recently. And we’ve all been watching The Eras Tour for two years (well, 1 year 8 months, as she pointed out in her speech). And it just finished.

If the glint in my eye traced the depths of your sigh

Down that passage in time

Back to the moment I crashed into you

Like so many wrecks do

Too impaired by my youth

To know what to do

So if I sell my apartment

And you have some kids with an internet starlet

Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon

like it never happened

This section is so Karlie coded. They met when they were super young, in 2008. And Taylor was too young to know what to do, how to navigate being a famous person and wanting to have this queer relationship. She had to figure out if she wanted to come out or stay closeted. And she didn’t know how it would go, how it could impact their relationship.

I won’t go too in depth but the having kids line refers to her marriage and family. And Maroon the song is 100000% a Kaylor song, so she’s drawing that direct parallel here.

Could it be enough to just float in your orbit

Could it be enough to stay in this lavender haze? Could it be enough to stay in our own little world, circling each other and not caring about the rest of the universe?

Can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses

Ghosts of their past selves, when Kaylor was more open publicly? Like kissgate. But also I think about wild horses as beautiful, but easily spooked. If they know you’re watching, they’re going to run away. “I Know Places” and running from the hunters, the media, etc. So as soon as people started to notice and call attention to her queerness, she got spooked. She got scared, and she returned to the safety of the closet.

Cooler in theory but not if you force it

To be, it just didn't happen

I think these lines are her acknowledging that it is a nice to theorize about all these grand coming out plans, but it cannot and should not be forced on her and her lover by anyone—the public, the fans (hetlors and Gaylors), etc. “It just didnt happen” refers to the times she didn’t publicly come out. It could also be a reference to a Kaylor split (real or perceived) and Karlie’s wedding (which was referenced a few lines above).

And we get a repeat of the chorus, a reemphasizing of the impossible and unrealistic expectations on Taylor, and a transition to the end of the song, where she asks us a question.

If you want to break my cold, cold heart

Just say, 'I loved you the way that you were'

If you want to tear my world apart

Just say you've always wondered

Cause I wonder

Will I always

Will I always wonder?

Will I always be in the closet? Will I always wonder about what it would be like to come out? To be free?

[astrolotte]

Since I saw someone post a similar question -

[1000sunnygo]

I'm only learning today that (1) Dr. Kureha was likely married (2) Her ring is an important character detail noted by Oda to not to forget to include in her design (x).

Who was her spouse? Who is Kureha? Does she have any connection to Trafalgar family? By any chance - was her husband a Trafalgar?

She kinda has some tribal style tattoos too.

Kureha was the first person to mention the will of D, which means she knew someone who has the middle name and/or someone who knew the significance of the name. She's also the oldest living human (barring Imu and Gorosei - who might not be humans at all) who knows a "secret of youth" that she wants to share, contrasting Law who posseses the power to give eternal life in cost of his own. A peculiar detail I liked is that she likes pickled plums, which Law apparently hates. This reminds of Rosinante who is widely regarded as Law's guardian.

I think Oda originally wanted her to be a former pirate in Roger's ship but changed his mind later. I'm probably reaching with my speculations but there's no doubt that Kureha's background will have a lot to unpack.

[iffasart]

So bad news regarding dinostar week

Lost my drawing pen and wont be able to draw anything until i find it again 😭

This is all i had (plus some parts of day 1)

[somethingforsenro]

splatoon without the splatoon

(the splatoon franchise without the new squidbeak splatoon)

so, i was scrolling through amino, the world's worst social media platform, when i found a very interesting question:

What would happen if the Squidbeak Splatoon disbanded after taking down Octavio during the events of Splatoon 1? Would that change anything down the road?

well, i looked at the comments and saw people basically all agreeing that it would be a complete and utter apocalypse. the world would end, like, three times over.

but if there's one thing i know about the internet, it's that people are stubborn little buggers who'll find their way around just about anything. so, i don't think that's right. i think life would find a way.

here's why.

‎‎

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🐙~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

first of all, octo expansion wouldn't happen bc agent 3 wouldn't be there to fight eight before the dlc's start. in fact, eight might not be freed at all, because we know that only happened AFTER callie was brainwashed (just look at callie's mem cake in oe) and therefore happened during splatoon 2. i say ‘might not’ for a good reason, which i'll get to in a minute.

anyway, no 10008 means that tartar wouldn't find the perfect subject (at least, not with eight) and his plan would be delayed for the foreseeable future. that means octo expansion wouldn't happen, or at least wouldn't happen so soon; if it did eventually happen nonetheless, it's possible that the oe-equivalent protagonist of that timeline would find another way to stop tartar's plans, so i would hesitate to say that inkopolis is doomed in this scenario. i'll talk about that more in a minute, but first, let's get back to that ‘might not’ from earlier and have a chat about hero mode 2.

okay, hot take: even without squidbeak, i think callie would STILL be rescued either way, and the squid sisters would still perform the spicy calamari inkantation. squidbeak or no squidbeak, it's not like marie's just going to stand back and LET her cousin be kidnapped, and she still would have all the same information she does in the normal timeline. (we know that no one was around to help her when callie got kidnapped, so she figured it all out on her own.) she would still recruit agent four to help her (although she wouldn't give them that title or the agent uniform), and they would still rescue callie, so that happens more or less the same way.

however, cap'n cuttlefish and three still wouldn't be out there to fight octarians, so i still don't think oe would happen either way. that also means eight never loses their memories, never becomes a test subject, and never meets pearl or marina. even if you subscribe to the "agent eight is a clone/lab engineered" theory, then they would just wake up alone in the metro, be inducted as 10008, and then… (imho) not be special at all, because eight is only so successful through the help of pearl, marina, and cap'n cuttlefish, and pearl+marina only contact eight through the cap'n's phone. so, eight would still be a test subject, but probably wouldn't be exceptional.

but let's say you disagree. let's say they still WERE exceptional. well, then – they would just get blended and added to the ooze, at which point tartar would presumably create the perfect lifeforms as he planned. but since there's no eight escaping to the surface, he wouldn't have to resort to taking all the ooze he worked for 12,000 years to create and immediately blasting it out of the cannon. i theorize that he would invade inkopolis with the "Perfected Sanitized Army" first, and only use the mega death cannon as a last resort/when he's about to win, at which point pearl and marina would probably have figured out what was going on and take action on their own, eight or no eight.

so, all told, i don't think the world ends in splatoon 2. splatoon 3? well… let's have a look.

no cuttlefish means new 3 never checks out the manhole. there's no heroes looking for the great zapfish. so, the world is totally screwed, right? WRONG.

y'see, there is at least ONE person who exists independently of squidbeak, who also is an enemy of grizz from the start. ONE person who has ALSO lost something dear to them because of the bear's schemes, and who knew to go to the Crater and investigate more deeply. that person is none other than DJ fucking Octavio.

grizz stole his army, so he went to the crater – so CLEARLY he knew WHERE his troops went, he just didn't know who took them. in our timeline, he thought squidbeak did it, but here, because squidbeak doesn't exist, he knows there's something else afoot. he would take the refurbished octobot king out there, and because new 3 isn't clearing out the stages, he would see his fuzzified troops in full force crawling all over the crater. and octavio would be PISSED as HELL.

so, i theorize that octavio would be the protagonist of this alternate return of the mammalians. he would fight to free his people, fall/break into alterna, and beat up deep cut. he might humor them and give them the "treasure", he might not – if he didn't, they wouldn't show up to help him later on, but… that doesn't really matter.

either way, he'd eventually make it to the rocket, and just like in the original timeline, he'd go to space to fight grizz for the sake of his army and the entire world as he knew it. it would be a lot more drawn-out, but i think octavio COULD have taken grizz on his own, especially with the added motivation and anger he has in this timeline. so i say octavio beats grizz to a pulp, and the world is saved.

now, all that leaves is side order, so…

side order spoilers ahead. proceed with caution.

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side order might still happen, because it's focused on pearl and marina, who aren't affected by the whole squidbeak thing. EDIT: however, as comments are reminding me, the memverse was made to cure sanitization. no oe means no experience with sanitization, no memverse, and no side order. if you think some variant of oe would still happen in the 6.5 years between s2 and side order, and pearl+marina would still be involved, then adapt accordingly.

but EVEN IF side order happened, because agent eight doesn't exist (or never met them, at least), there would be no side order protagonist. but – and this is gonna sound familiar at this point – that doesn't NECESSARILY mean order prevails, just that the fight is closer and takes a lot longer.

acht was fighting on their own before eight and pearl came. in OUR timeline, pearl spent a while trying to wake eight up while acht fought and got injured in the spire. but here, she doesn't have anyone to wait on, so she goes straight to the spire of order. it's possible, i think, for her to catch acht BEFORE their injury, and to give them the dualies and her support (after a confused argument, at least). i think acht could then beat the spire with pearl's help, freeing marina, and the rest would go on basically just like the dlc.

however, that one is DEFINITELY the most situational. there's no guarantee that pearl would be fast enough, and if acht WAS injured regardless, there wouldn't be anything to stop order. in that case, it would probably stay in control of marina for a lot longer, at least until acht healed (which could take weeks or even months).

even in THAT situation, acht would still eventually get back into fighting shape. but would they be too late to save marina? it's definitely possible. however, we DO know that greyscaling is reversible – eight managed it. so, it's POSSIBLE  that they could free marina, even in THIS timeline.

and even if they COULDN'T free marina, they could still free (almost) everyone else. marina would be gone, but they would most likely be able to take down order EVENTUALLY, if much slower.

the only real killstate there is if order managed to greyscale acht and pearl. and if you ask me, the two of them seemed pretty fine and dandy the whole time, especially pearl – i mean, this is MARINA'S simulation, after all, so she WOULD give the people she cared about some level of protection or even enhanced access. (acht might even be able to hack into the simulation a little, although they wouldn't be nearly as cracked at it as marina is.)

so, i don't think order would succeed either way – although it might permanently greyscale a considerable number of people, including marina and possibly four. (remember, marie still recruits four's help, even if she doesn't technically call them agent four. they wouldn't be called agent four, but they still exist.)

so, that's definitely a bit more dire than in the main timeline, at least – but far from apocalyptic, i'd say.

…except for pearl. pearl would be pretty fucked up.

[doctorvondooms]

Friends, it has been an honor and a pleasure sexualizing that old man and going gaga over Sofia Falcone Gigante together. May we all meet again once the Batman Part II comes out

[the-way-astray]

more evidence against the elwin is sophie's bio dad theory: sophie's hair is straight, and oralie's is canonically curly (ringlets). now, maybe it isn't natural, but the point is that sophie clearly didn't inherit her hair texture from oralie. so her biological father probably has her same straight hair. elwin's hair is also canonically curly. so if it was him, where did she get her straight hair from