#so many new teas to try in 2022

[arjudy224]

The Intern: Small Talk with a Dead Man

After a dramatic realization during Christmas break, Y/N has been peacefully trying to live her life without the influence of the Batfamily. One night after classes, she is visited by an old friend...

*Fluff*

Prequel: Death of a family

The Intern: Day one

The Intern: The Laughing Fish

The Intern: Busy Work

The Intern: Outreach Gala

The Intern: Teachers Pet

The Intern: Visiting an old friend

The Intern: Chemical Valley

The Intern Small Talk with a Dead Man

The Intern: Billionaire Boys Club

I shouldn't have been surprised. TV broadcasts. Google Alerts. The radio guy who complained about Gotham's newest Crime lord during my morning commute. A few local news stations dared to ask, "Is Red Hood more dangerous than the Black Mask?"

Despite all those warning signs, my heart stops when I see him again. A flash of lightning illuminates the man across from me. The signature Red Helmet drips rainwater on my ratty tan carpet. The towering man is far from the mischievous teenager I once knew. Judging by the watercolors across his knuckles, he must have driven from patrol.

From the corner of my bedroom, my phone vibrates on the nightstand. Dick's grinning face covers the screen. I hurriedly decline the call. Tim's face makes an appearance. The screen goes black. I drag my gaze back to the dead.

"Hatchling?" Jason observes motioning to Tim's contact name, "What's Damien's? Infant?"

I pause to think about it. What did I make Damien's?

"Sassy pants... with several angry emojis." I elaborate showing him the contact.

"Ahh... fitting for a child raised by assassins."

The room feels too small. Stuffy even. After years of dreaming of what I'd want to say to him, I blank. The helmet drops to the floor with a thud. His voice breaks.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

That breaks me out of my stupor. Crossing the room, I shush him.

"Take this jacket off before you track any more water in. My landlord is terrified of mold."

Reluctantly, he lets me peel the wet leather away from his goosebumped riddled skin. The hulking man slumps towards my touch. In the darkness, I can almost forget how long it has been.

How many nights did we do this? Bruce starting a fight. Jason sneaking in through my childhood window with a devilish grin.

"I figured I've already disappointed one father figure. Why not disappoint them both?"

The image of his charred corpse flashes in my mind. Some memories don't age well.

A well-timed thunderclap shakes me back to the present. My Jason had blue eyes.

"Go sit in the living room," I command throwing a towel in his direction, "Do you want tea?"

"Yes please." He agrees following my heels, "Do you have-"

"The usual? " I interrupt with a sly backward glance, "Who do you think I am?"

I almost blush at the look he gives me. Good God. My back turns to face him while I turn the kettle on.

Which mug do you give a dead man?

I correct myself.

Which mug do you give a crime lord?

I look past the cluster of random holiday cups to my shining star. A brand new Superman mug complete with a washable cape napkin. Water. Green Tea and chamomile bags. A little bit of honey.

While I set everything up, Jason studies the collage of photos on my wall. Some from Gotham. A mix from school. His eyes fall upon a selfie of Dick, Alfred, Barbara, and I. Encrested on the frame, it reads, "Jason Todd Memorial 2022". My throat gets tight. It seems so meaningless now. Leaning against the kitchen counter, I analyze the man. The new uniform is much more outwardly utilitarian than his Robin costume. No more shorts. The guns are new. He had set a few in a cluster on the coffee table. Jason takes a postcard from the collage in his hands.

"George Clooney?" He muses turning over the card, "Dick always had a flair for the dramatics."

"It runs in the family," I retort setting down his mug on the table.

As I draw near, he smiles at the choice of mug.

"I didn't realize that you picked sides."

"Alfred sent it to me as a peace offering," I shrug.

I motion to the brown patched-up couch. Jason eagerly reclines. His body stiffens at the strange lumps towards the center.

"Courtesy of Ma Kent," I joke, "I'm convinced she lined it with kryptonite, so Clark wouldn't jump on it."

Rubbing his sore shoulders, Jason grimaces sitting up.

"Well, I'm sure this is the only couch that could cause the Man of Steel back pain."

Sitting next to the sweaty young man, I sip on my own tea. The bitterness of the green tea grounds me to the present.

"Do you want to talk about what happened in Gotham tonight?" I question glancing at the freshly bandaged cuts on his arms.

He shakes his head grimacing at the memory. New City. New topics.

Grabbing the remote, I start, "What are you feeling tonight? I've been aching to rewatch "You're Next" for a while."

He eyes me with playful suspicion. Jason folds his arms behind his head.

"What? I've always found scary movies comforting after a long day."

"Like the way you find Ma Kent's Couch to be comfortable?" He teases fidgeting with the coarse fabric of the homemade pillow.

The random stains make him raise an eyebrow. Thunder shakes my apartment.

"It's an acquired taste." I reply pulling the pillow flush against my chest, "Besides, horror is the only genre where your anxiety is always right, but the horror never stays for too long. It’s nice to see the Protagonists survive to the end of their story."

For a moment, he looks like my Jason again. The slight bruising around his left eye causes him to squint ever so slightly, but he flashes me an amused smirk. His fixed gaze never leaves my face. I start to sweat. What if he thinks of me differently? Five years is a long time. We've both changed.

"You watch too many movies." He remarks offering me half of the blanket.

I snuggle close allowing myself to enjoy this moment. A flash of lightning illuminates the small TV screen.

"That is probably true." I reply lying my head on his shoulder.

The exhaustion of the day compounds until the opening credits fade into black.

Taglist: @nosyrobin,@jjsmeowthie.@epicy0n,@gaychaosgremlin,@rory-cakes,@luna-zendra-star,@b4tm4nn,@anuttellaa,@chibiduck

[sweetbillwriting]

Way Out of Line

FIVE

Beneath my perfume and make-up I'm just a baby in disguise. And though I know that it's wrong to be alone with him that "come on look" is in my eyes.

Character: Keith Toshko from Barbarian (2022) played by Bill Skarsgård.

Warnings: 18+, NSFW, heavy themes.

Notes: Thank you to all of you who read this. It's really encouraging to see likes ticking in. Feel free to leave a comment too. 🩷

“You know they would throw you out if they knew you're sleeping with a married man. Or, is he using you? Is that it? It all sounds so uncharacteristic of you.”

Claire and I sat in a lonely corner of the campus cafe. She was a member of the same sorority as I and knew as well as I about their strict rules. For some reason, I had joined a religious sorority when I didn't get a spot in the other ones, and now I had strict rules to follow about alcohol, abstinence, and activities. The closest I came to being religious was my mom's background being Catholic, but now I was a part of a Puritan sorority and pretended to love Jesus more than my parents. I did it because it looked good on the résumé and to get friends because I had struggled with that in the beginning of college. Claire was one of my friends from the sorority. She was much more liberal than the others, even if she was a virgin and waited for a man to marry her before she would spread her legs.

“No! He doesn't force me. Keith is… Really kind. A gentleman.”

“If he was, he wouldn't encourage you to have sex.”

I didn't say anything because I felt a weird feeling when she said that. I felt both promiscuous and also irritated. She made it sound like me and Keith just had sex when we hadn't even had sex, really.

Just when the silence started to get uncomfortable, my phone rang where it lay on the table next to my takeaway mug of tea. I gave it a look and saw the phone number that ended with 78. Keith. I hadn't put his number in because I didn't want my parents to accidentally see who was calling me. During a two-week’ period, we had started something new, him picking me up in his car so we could make out in a secluded place. It was awfully exciting, and I felt wild doing it.

“Hey bunny,” he said with his most charming voice and made me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

“Hey…” I hadn't yet come up with a good pet name for him, even if I tried every night.

“Are you ready? I can be there in ten minutes.”

I gave Claire a fast look; she looked at me bored. I had left her earlier that week for him. She knew we just made out because I didn't feel comfortable doing anything more in his car, even though he tried the first time. He had taken it as a gentleman and hadn't tried again after that. Claire was just worried for me, and I knew she would have been supportive if it was another guy, but this was an older, married man. She sighed when I giggled and said he could pick me up at the regular place.

“I'm sorry, but we don't have so much time—”

“Because your parents would never accept that you two were dating?”

I groaned, irritated, and collected my things.

“No, because he will go away for work for three weeks.”

She nodded a bit regretfully and took a sip of her tea.

“What kind of work?”

“Well, he's a musician, but, like, jazz musicians like to jam with many different people to challenge their sound—”

“Jam?” She said it teasingly because it was obviously not my word.

“That's what he says! Anyway, they're like a collective, but he also does much of the administrative things, so he will try to find cheap places for them to stay so they don't need to put out so much money for hotels and so on.”

Claire nodded with big eyes. Something told me she was surprised I knew much about his work. He and I had actually talked about such things. It wasn't just sex like she believed.

Knew you were perfect after the first kiss. Took a deep breath like, "Ooh" Feels like forever, baby, I never thought that it would be you…

After had said goodbye to Claire, I rushed away to the parking lot where Keith usually would wait. His Volvo stood anonymous among all the other cars. I wished a bit that he had a cooler car; that would add to the experience of having a secret relationship. He started the engine when I approached, causing me to quicken my steps, which made him open the door and peek out.

“You don't have to run; we're not in a hurry.”

I smiled playfully at him and ran to the passenger door so I could jump in next to him. He sat down again, and both of us slammed our respective doors closed. He looked at me with a smirk, and I fixed my hair as a nervous tic.

“You don't need to run, but I should be honest and say that I like seeing that little skirt lift with every step.”

He smirked and pulled lightly on my pink, pleated skirt. I had thought it was too short to wear, but his words made me decide I would wear it more often. I blushed, my cheeks almost as pink as the skirt’s fabric, and he didn't make it better by taking my hand and kissing the back of it after he started the car.

He never kissed me among people, but in his car he could be a little more daring and take my hand or caress my thigh. Now he took one more step and kissed my hand. I looked at him with starry eyes while he was driving, so at first I didn't even hear his question.

“Hm? Did you get back the assignment?” He asked. I had an assignment a week before that he had helped me with. He asked about the assignment now like it was his work.

“Nothing yet, but I have another assignment you can help me with.”

I smirked a little when I saw him get disappointed, but then he smiled a little.

“You can always get help from me. Always.”

I giggled a little which made him grin, but I could see he didn't understand why I giggled really.

He drove us to a park where there was a parking spot hidden behind the trees. We had been there before, and there we could make out in the backseat without being seen. We did the same today and shifted between talking about school and his work. For me, it felt like we were in a relationship, and between relaxed talk and heated kisses, I gave him intimate hugs. While I sat straddled his lap and hugged him around his neck, his hands had snuck under my tights and hugged my ass cheeks.

“I have an idea…” He mumbled strained, like my hug suffocated him a bit. I let him go a bit so I could watch his face. “I'm going away Sunday night—”

I looked down in sadness, but Keith reacted at once. “Aw honey… It's not a long time…” He put my hair behind my ears and smiled comfortingly towards me. “I'll be home before you know it.”

“Promise?” I could hear I sounded like I did when my parents left me in school when I was little, but the feeling was almost the same. Keith nodded with a smirk and continued to play with my hair.

“But on Saturday… I have booked a room at a hotel, so our last night could be amazing and… I really want your first time to be special, baby.”

He gave me a pointed but soft look and pushed out his crotch a bit. I gave him a blushing smile because the thought of making love to him made me all flustered. It felt like I was a virgin, but I wasn't, but Keith called it my first time anyway. I wondered if he had forgotten that I had had sex with my high school boyfriend or if he really meant our first time. Either way, I just smiled because it didn't feel important; he wanted to make it nice for me, and that was sweet.

“Can you afford that? I know divorce lawyers are expensive and—"

“I will make myself afford it. I want that moment with you.”

His fingers dragged through my hair, then over my thin, cable-knit sweater. My nipples had already hardened just by the thought of being alone with him in a hotel room, and he couldn't stop himself from dragging his thumbs over them. I giggled a little, with excitement and nerves, but leaned forward so I could kiss him. He laughed softly when I giggled into the kiss, and out of nowhere he smacked my ass, causing me to jump in his lap.

×××

Baby, I'd give up anything to travel inside your mind. Baby, I fall in love again come every summertime. My daddy taught me to choose 'em wisely, but you don't have to try 'cause, baby, I fall in love every summertime…

I bit my lip when he came into the living room where I sat. Keith was just dressed in a pair of black sweatpants and showed off his trim physique. With a gray towel, he dried his hair with one hand. When he saw my lustful gaze, he flexed his stomach so his abs became more defined, and it made me gaze down at my laptop with a heavy blush. I could hear him laugh softly, then he sat down next to me. I was working on the assignment I had mentioned to him before but I had gotten stuck and mostly reread my words over and over. My dad had tried to help me but wasn't much help, and if I were honest, I had known at once it wasn't his help I needed but Keith's. My dad and mom were intellectual but didn't have that analytic gift Keith had. He could just turn words around that made me think in a different way or ask a simple question. He always had a new angle and a pedagogical way that made me think. It was also really sexy to listen to him, and sometimes I lost my attention because I started to drift away in filthy thoughts. Now he sat next to me, shirtless, smelling of warm vanilla, rosemary and oak and quickly corrected my text. Just shifting words in some places or fixing the grammar. I breathed in the heavenly scent and looked at his profile. I had looked at his features closely so many times but always found something new to look at; this time it was the two small scars on his cheek. He had a bigger one on his other cheek, but these were smaller and not as deep.

“Hey?” Far away, I could hear my dad's voice. It sounded like he was standing on the other side of a railway, but he really stood in the doorway, looking at us confused. I hadn't even thought about our behavior being weird; for me, it felt like this must be normal behavior for a girl and her dad's friend just because our real behavior was so much more scandalous. I looked at my dad and smiled innocently while Keith sat up better, showing off his naked chest and stomach for my dad.

“What are you doing?” My dad tried to smile and sat down awkwardly on the armrest of an armchair.

“Keith is helping me with the assignment.”

Keith smiled at my dad and put his hands behind his head. I gave him a fast look with red cheeks and hoped my dad didn't notice.

“You know how good I am at those sorts of things. I was the one helping you in college, I think?” Keith teased my dad, who still had the same awkward smile on his lips. He took some deep breaths and then looked at me. I wore just a strappy top, like I often did at home, and a pair of baby pink velour pants.

“Honey, I think you should put something more on…” He said it strictly to me, and just that tone made me swallow hard and nod. Even if my dad hadn't said anything mean and never had done, his words made me feel cheap so I put away the laptop so I could run up to my bedroom. In that moment I forgot he actually had a point, that Keith had given me the wrong sort of attention; I was just ashamed my dad had even had the possibility to see me as a sexual being. I wanted him to see me as his little girl forever.

I stayed in my room and watched an old 2000s series until I thought it must be time for dinner. I had put on a white oversized sweater and walked down doubtfully, afraid to disappoint my dad again. I could hear loud laughter from the dining room, and even if I felt awkward, I entered to see what was happening. My dad and Keith sat and played cards while drinking whiskey. Keith was also dressed now and wore a plaid flannel shirt that was looking ragged after years of use. He looked up at me with a smile, and so did my dad, who opened his mouth to say something, but Keith managed to interrupt him.

“Do you know how to play?” He asked with a smile. I giggled, because I always did when he smiled that playful smile towards me, and then I shook my head. Once again I had a hard time knowing what was okay behavior for us to have, so when he pulled me down to sit over one of his thick thighs, I let him. He held me close to his chest while he explained the game and showed me his cards. I looked up at him dreamily and laid my hand over his when he hugged my waist. He looked me deep in the eyes while explaining and smirked when I licked my lips. We were totally gone in our own world and didn't even notice that my dad had tried to interrupt us several times.

“Keith!” Exclaimed my dad, upset after he tried to interrupt us in a calm way without succeeding. I looked up at him, and Keith let me go slowly; both he and I knew what my dad wanted to say, and we swallowed hard. I moved away, sitting down on a chair far from them while Keith fixed his clothes and hair nervously.

“Can I talk to you?” My dad sounded like he tried to control his anger when he stood up, trying to look threatening, but it lost its impact when Keith stood up in all his 6 '4 glory, with broad shoulders and thick arms. My dad probably felt the same thing because his anger seemed to wash away, and instead he gave Keith a nervous smile. I watched them go away to the kitchen and sharpened my ears so I could hear their conversation.

“Keith… I get that you don't mean it like that, but… She's my daughter. You can't let her sit in your lap.”

“I'm sorry, man. It was stupid. She just looked so sad, and I wanted… Yeah, I think your words earlier really hurt her, you know?”

My dad was silent a bit longer than you should be in a conversation, and I understood he didn't like what Keith said. “I care for her. She's such a sweet, sweet girl, and I want her best,” continued Keith with his soft voice. I felt my own nerves itch under my skin, but he didn't sound nervous at all, laying for my dad like that.

“I'm happy you care for her. That's great, and you can probably help—”

“Can we just forget this now? And maybe you can chill a bit? I don't mean it like that. I just want her best.”

I didn't hear them say anything more after that, and I imagined that my dad had given him more of a silent agreement. The argument was embarrassing, but I had liked hearing Keith say several times that he cared for me. It was also a relief to hear how my dad believed him. He didn't need to know everything. For now, it was mine and Keith's love, just ours.

×××

The lilac bra was in a balconette style with white lace and without straps. I had a matching pair of thongs that had the same big satin bow in the back as the bra had between the cups. The set was adorable. I also had a black set. A black lace triangle bra with high-cut panties. Both of them were see-through. In a panic, I had borrowed my dad's credit card that Saturday so I could shop with Farah before my hotel stay with Keith. I couldn't come to him in my cotton panties; I needed sexy lingerie. Farah also helped me with some other clothes. She was used to men more than I was and helped me buy things that Keith would think were sexy. Even if Keith didn't seem to be bothered by my lack of experience, I wanted him to think I was sexy, not just a stupid girl. My parents thought I would sleep over at Farah's and that Keith would already go to Detroit to work. They didn't react when I jumped into his car, laying my suitcase next to his, because they believed he would just give me a ride to Farah’s. In reality, we would go to the closest city and check into a hotel so he could, for the first time, penetrate me. It was an awful lie, but still I liked it, and when we had left my neighborhood, both Keith and I laughed in euphoria.

The room wasn't a room but a suite, decorated in fluffy beige fabrics and with gold details. It was much more lavish than I was prepared for; he had really spent some money on me. He had found the white grand piano and played a tune lazily while still standing up. He wore an emerald knitted sweater and the same black jeans I was used to seeing him in. He looked like such a man, and I had seen how the receptionist smiled a bit too big while he was checking in. I stood further away with the suitcases, so I couldn't hear them, but I could see how she laughed at something he said. I played with the edge of my short brown gingham dress while looking in the room, the same nervous tics I had when looking at him and the receptionist. I felt misplaced but smiled when he looked up at me from the piano and then walked playfully towards me with his hands in his front pockets.

“Baby girl… Is it something?” He smiled softly and took a hold of my chin and steered it towards his face. He did it more forcefully and pulled me up on my toes with the grip. He looked down on my feet but smiled like he just thought it was cute how I was standing on my tippy toes like the perfect Barbie doll.

“I'm really happy to be here with you…” I just said and dragged my hands over his hips.

“Should we bring up a bottle of champagne?”

I cleared my throat awkwardly, and Keith released me with a smirk when he understood what I meant.

“Oh right, you don't drink. Ehm… A Coke?”

×××

It didn't take him long to get me to sit in his lap on the edge of the bed and share deep kisses. On the bedside table stood his champagne bottle, open, with a used champagne glass and my small bottle of Coke still half full. He had pulled up my skater dress around my waist and kneaded my nylon covered ass cheeks in his hands.

"Jacqueline, this is all your fault, you know…” he said playfully and steered me so I laid my belly over his other thigh. I lay down more comfortably without a thought, so pleased with him having power over me.

“What's my fault?” I said with a giggle. Keith pulled down my tights to my knees but continued when he realized I couldn't move with them there. Once again he corrected my position, so I lay over his lap with my ass in the air. The nerves had started to wake up again, but I trusted him, so I let his long fingers knead my flesh while he breathed deeply.

“That we’re here. You know, you seduced me… Since Christmas Day, you have strutted around, just teasing me.”

I giggled a little in my hands, quite pleased I had been able to seduce a grown man, but when I felt a hard spank on my left cheek, the giggle got caught in my throat. Keith was quiet; he maybe waited for me to say something about his action, but when I didn't say anything, he did it again. I made a pained noise, and once again he waited in silence to see if I would say something. I couldn't decide what I felt about it at first, but when he talked at the same time as he spanked me the third time, I knew that I liked it.

“My little baby girl… I just spank you because I want your best.” I moaned, and that made Keith play with the thin band of my lavender thongs. He followed the thread down between my cheeks and then laid two fingers over the lilac fabric over my pussy. Smoothly he dragged them up and down, making the blood dance around between my legs. When I made a small moan again, he smacked my right cheek hard.

“Now you have me; you got what you wanted, baby girl. Now I want some things too.” I looked back at him with some struggle. Keith must have seen it was hard for me to look at him in that angle, so he pulled me up and straddled over his legs again, but the change of position also seemed to have changed his need and with dominant hands; he opened the zipper in the back of my dress and then pulled it off. I thought he would maybe want to admire me in my lingerie set, but instead he demanded that I take it all off. I stood between his legs when I pulled off both the bra and the panties. I felt embarrassed and small when I stood, once again, fully naked in front of him while he was still dressed. Keith smiled and dragged me down in bed, this time letting me lie on my back while he sat next to me, looking down on me. Without saying anything, he pushed my knee down on the mattress so he could see me fully exposed. I let him do anything he wanted just to see his eyes glitter. He dragged his big hand on the inside of my thigh and then licked his lips.

“You're my sweet girl, right?” He looked at me with a soft smile while continuing to pat the inside of my thigh.

“Yes.” I nodded eagerly, and I spread my thighs even more.

“My baby girl, Bunny, and no one else's?”

I nodded and looked down at his hands that he had raised to be able to drag two fingers lazily over my slit. “Say it, say that you're my baby girl, only mine.” His fingertips started to do slow circles on the inside of my pussy, and when I opened my mouth to talk, his long index finger pushed into me. I said my answer with a moan: 

“I'm only your baby girl…”

Keith leaned down and kissed me while his thumb had found my clit to roll in circles. I looked at him with heavy eyes when he kept his face close to mine. 

“And I'm your daddy.” With a fast hand movement, he made it feel like both my clit and my insides vibrated, and I moaned loudly, but when he didn't get an answer, he stopped and looked at me again. I looked at him almost hurt, but I knew what he wanted to hear at that moment; there was just one right answer. 

“Yes, daddy.” 

“Your only daddy.” 

“My only daddy.”

Keith smirked and then gave me a kiss. 

“Do you want your first time to be with daddy?” 

He stood up on his knees, pulling off his sweater. I looked at him, still lying on my back. He was so big and beautiful. My sex was still pounding, and I was deep in that little world he had created for us. 

“I want Daddy to be my first.”

Keith stood up, looking pleased but also powerful. I could understand why, because I was just lying there, wet and needy, just waiting for his cock. Slowly he pulled off his jeans and boxers so I could see him in full naked glory. His cock was hard in anticipation of what would happen. He looked so big when he crawled down between my legs, his hands holding my thighs, pushing them back against my belly. He was just sharp edges and lean muscles. I moaned when he dragged his cock through my juices and when he spanked my clit lightly with the head of his cock. I was so far gone by my pleasure, but when I felt him push against my opening, the nerves made themselves known again, and I lifted my hips so he couldn't penetrate me.

“What is it, sweetie?” Asked Keith softly and dragged his hands over my thighs. I looked at his kind eyes for a few seconds, and he gave me a crooked smile, like he knew what I wanted to say. 

“Tell Daddy.”

“Will it hurt?” 

“Maybe a little.”

“It's so big.” 

“I know, honey… Daddy's cock is big.” 

I nodded a little, my cheeks heating because of our conversation's nature.

“Say that Daddy's cock is big…” 

He whispered and leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him at once after that and looked into his green eyes. 

“Daddy's cock is so biihii-” 

He hadn't let me say the whole sentence until he had penetrated me. I could feel it wasn't fully, and when he moved to look down, I could see he was far from completely penetrating me. Keith breathed heavily, like he had a job to do, and sat up a little so he could force himself further into me. I made a pained sound, but seeing him lost in the world we had created together, I knew I wanted everything he could give me, even if it hurt. He took a hold of my thighs and pulled me closer to him so he could just make one deep thrust until he was fully in me. I could feel tears in my eyes because it did hurt, and Keith looked at me with kind but heavy eyes. 

“It feels so good, baby; you will feel it soon too… You're so tight and small and fucking Christ...” 

He pulled out slowly so he could push in just as deeply again, and now I could finally feel pleasure, and I moaned freely. He pushed me back a bit more, and he stood up fully on his knees so I could see his deep thrusts. Both of us flushed pink, and his cock’s veins were so prominent it looked like they could burst. I couldn't understand how something so big had been able to push into me, but maybe it was because of our shared juices. I had never seen myself so wet, but I had never heard myself doing those sorts of sounds either. It hurt so good. 

“Daddy…” I whined, now fully immersed in the fantasy, and it made Keith laugh and pound me faster. Once again I called him the name, and it made him give it to me harder. When I started to feel like I was done, like I didn't have energy for more, he flipped me around. He forced me up on my knees so he could stand on his knees and penetrate me from behind. When he once again started to thrust so hard I was just mush under him, he spanked me but also dragged his thumb over my asshole. I didn't think about it then, that he maybe had a fixation, but when he pulled out to come, he pushed his cock against my second hole and smeared me in his sticky mess. 

I'm a good girl gone bad.

Get in that car, drive fast.

Get on the road.

Take off my clothes…

×

[cosmereplay]

Kaladin Didn’t Invent Therapy (And Why That’s Actually Great)

“...You need someone to talk to, Noril, when the darkness is strong. Someone to remind you the world hasn’t always been this way; that it won’t always be this way.” “How do you … know this?” Noril asked. “I’ve felt it,” Kaladin said. “Feel it most days.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

I’m writing as someone with a background in psychotherapy and peer support, and I'm bursting with excitement about one of my favourite topics. You can imagine why I love Kaladin’s arc in Rhythm of War so much! I actually yelled out loud when I read some of these parts the first time.

I’ve seen people online saying and making jokes that Kaladin invents therapy, and while that could eventually be true, what Kaladin actually invented in RoW is mental health peer support. Psychotherapy as most people would understand it simply doesn’t exist yet on Roshar. However, peer support is a legitimate modality for healing on its own merits. Even more importantly for the story, peer support is something Kaladin would personally really benefit from, and it fits his narrative arc way better than therapy would.

1. Therapy as we know it won’t exist for a while yet.

“We need to study their responses, use an empirical approach to treatment instead of just assuming someone who has suffered mental trauma is permanently broken.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy “Someone needs to talk to them, try different treatments, see what they think works. What actually helps.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

Obviously, Kaladin has not been educated in battle shock or melancholia or any other diagnosis. In Alethkar there's hardly any knowledge to be had on the subject. Even now in real life, research into effective interventions for various diagnoses is still ongoing, over 100 years after modern therapy was founded.

Building an empirical knowledge base* will take time, not to mention the years it will take to train new therapists across Roshar in how to provide interventions specific to various issues. Therapy as we know it today generally includes time in mentorship with another therapist, so in a way, the first therapist isn't a therapist. 😅 In the meantime, there are people who need help today, including Kaladin.

Peer support can fill that gap because its knowledge base is different. Peers bring their expertise, which is their years of trial and error, successes and failures - their lived experience. Peer facilitators need to know the basics of managing a group, and they have to be willing to share their own experiences and learn from the group. Thus, training peer leaders is relatively quick, and incredibly scalable and adaptable across cultures and many issues/diagnoses.

2. Peer Support is a distinct path to recovery that doesn’t require an expert in therapy.

Kaladin located six men in the sanitarium with similar symptoms. He released them and got them working to support each other. He developed a plan, and showed them how to share in ways that would help...Today they sat in seats on the balcony outside his clinic. Warmed by mugs of tea, they talked. About their lives. The people they’d lost. The darkness. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding “While you can’t force it, having someone to talk to usually helps. You should be letting him meet with others who feel like he does.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25, Devotary of Mercy

Kaladin is already positioning himself to align with the values of peer support. Some of these values overlap with therapy, such as dignity, respect, inclusion, hope, and trust. What makes peer support different is a particular emphasis on equal relationships, self-determination, and personal growth (Peer Support Canada, 2022).

In peer support, the group facilitator is not considered an authority like a therapist would be. A peer leader may be further on the road to recovery, but they may not be. They are expected to listen and grow just like any other group member.

Because the leader of the group is also a learner, peer support groups tend to be more collaborative and open-ended. Everyone in the group has something they can take out of it and something to give. Everyone in the group is responsible for managing their own self care, and everyone in the group is responsible for the direction of their own growth. This is different from most therapy groups, which often have a specific focus or goal that the therapist is responsible for implementing. And speaking of responsibility...

3. Peer Support Fits Kaladin’s Narrative Arc Better than Therapy

At his father’s recommendation—then insistence—Kaladin took it slowly, confining his initial efforts to men who shared similar symptoms. Battle fatigue, nightmares, persistent melancholy, suicidal tendencies. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding …he’d learned—these last few months—that his battle shock could take many forms. He was getting to where he could confront it. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 39 Invasion

I think everyone can agree that Kaladin needs to participate in therapy just as much as the other battle-shocked men he finds in the Devotary of Mercy.

However, in therapy, the focus is solely on the needs of the clients. A therapist should not be distracted by their own issues (when this happens, it’s called countertransference). Further, therapy is generally framed such that the therapist is the only expert in the room, which means therapists have a higher level of responsibility for how the clients are doing (which varies depending on the issue, the therapy modality, and the circumstances).

In his own recovery, Kaladin is working on trying to take less responsibility for others, so setting him up as a therapeutic authority could be harmful for him. In a position of authority, he might be tempted to replicate the hierarchical structure he was in before (which would impede his own growth), or try to save everyone (which could impede everyone's growth). He simply doesn’t have the mentorship or knowledge base he'd need to work through those issues before leading as an expert.

In contrast, the point of peer support is the mutual sharing of lived experience. The group facilitator is expected to share their own struggles (as a model of recovery), and allow others to support them. In the context of a more balanced power dynamic, Kaladin can give the other group members the space they need to grow, and he can pursue his own recovery without feeling like he’s letting others down. Also, he will be able to leave the group during KOWT without worrying that the group won't be able to run without him. Everyone in the group carries some responsibility for each other, so group members can come and go with less stress than a change in therapist would cause in group therapy.

This is the beauty of peer support. It can happen anywhere people with similar experiences get together. No formal education is required. What is required is a willingness to know yourself as well as you can; to share your experiences; to listen to others tell their stories; to question your own assumptions as you learn how others handle things differently; to look out for each other's safety; to care.

Peer support creates a place of belonging and a community repository of shared wisdom. Kaladin almost had it on Bridge Four, but his position of authority wouldn’t allow him to grow the way he needed. Peer support is what Kaladin needs - he needs a place where he can take off his armour among people who get it because they're struggling with similar issues, and without having a position of responsibility over them. When he (eventually**) attends the groups, they help him grow!

Anyway, that's why Kaladin didn’t invent therapy, and why I think that's great.

For the men chatting together softly, the change was in being shown sunlight again. In being reminded that the darkness did pass. But perhaps most important, the change was in not merely knowing that you weren’t alone—but in feeling it. Realizing that no matter how isolated you thought you were, no matter how often your brain told you terrible things, there were others who understood. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding

---

*Funny enough, empirical research could lead Rosharan researchers right back to peer support. Empirical research on Earth has shown that modern therapy and peer support have similar levels of effectiveness (for example, for depression and PTSD).

**Look who’s resisting attending the groups he founded…KALADIN!! (shakes fist in the general direction of the sky) (This is the most relatable passage for me in this whole book, by the way, helper types unite lmao):

Kaladin looked down at the table. Had it? Had talking to Noril helped? “He’s been avoiding joining in,” Teft said. “I haven’t,” Kaladin snapped. “I’ve been busy.” Teft gave him a flat stare. Storming sergeants. They always heard the things you weren’t saying. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 38 Rhythm of the Terrors

Peer Support Canada. (2022). Peer Support Core Values. Accessed from https://peersupportcanada.ca/ Jun 27, 2022.

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

CYOA C57 Sneak Peak

Since I took a not-so-brief break from writing and it still might be another few days before I can post the next chapter, have a sneak peak of the beginning of the chapter below the cut.

Private WhatsApp Chat Resumed: Wednesday 16th March, 2022, 01:37 Members: Lily Evans, James Potter

================================

Lily Evans: <image attachment> You're hopefully asleep but look at what I've got!

...

Private WhatsApp Chat Resumed: Wednesday 16th March, 2022, 07:11 Members: Lily Evans, James Potter

================================

James Potter: omg it's my face mug

Lily Evans: Yep! Plus my tea, which really got me through the morning since I came in an hour early to get a site report finished. I employed cunning stealth tactics to manoeuvre it out of Pip's desk drawer yesterday.

James Potter: what did you do?

Lily Evans: I said, "Pip, can I have James's face mug?" and that worked.

James Potter: truly you are machiavellian in your endeavours also are you wearing bright pink in that photo?

Lily Evans: I am. Felt slightly daunted about it this morning because of the stupid old adage about redheads, but I mean, I BOUGHT the outfit on Monday because I loved how it looked on, so chickening out would have been a waste of my money.

James Potter: what's the old adage about redheads?

Lily Evans: There are MANY and they're all equally ridiculous because being redheaded is great actually, but this one in particular dictates that we "shouldn't wear pink," presumably because it looks terrible on us.

James Potter: that IS stupid you look so pretty

Lily Evans: Thank you! <image attachment> This is the full fit. I love Sirius's selfie mirror. What d'you think?

James Potter: christ you really do have phenomenal legs warn me next time, would you? i'm trying to drink my morning coffee in peace here, and you spring this on me

Lily Evans: Lollll you saw my legs on my Instagram yesterday.

James Potter: yesterday you had big tall boots on today you do not

Lily Evans: Forget about my legs for a second.

James Potter: i physically CAN'T

Lily Evans: The jacket is a CAPE, James. I own a CAPE. I am MAKING MY OWN DREAM (of owning a cape) COME TRUE. Do you have any idea how many crop tops I bought on Monday? LOADS. And I've been scared of crop tops my whole life. I still kind of am scared, but I'm going to be brave and wear them anyway, Bea says that if I carry myself with confidence on purpose I'll eventually start to carry myself with confidence because that's genuinely how I feel, and you know what she's right because I've had more compliments from other women in the office over the last day and a half than I've had in the year since I started working here. If you can't tell, I'm very excited about my new clothes.

James Potter: i can tell

Lily Evans: It's probably a very boring topic so I'll stop.

James Potter: no you don't have to stop i think it's brilliant and not just because i get to see more of your legs, which is a huge win for me

Lily Evans: Lolllllllll

James Potter: a week ago you were calling yourself a frump, so it makes me happy to see you talking like this instead if new clothes make you feel good about yourself then i want to hear about them

Lily Evans: I do feel more like ME in them, if that makes any sense at all. And there's no going back now because I've bagged up a load of my old clothes and Bea and Remus are going to help me lug them to the charity shop before we all head off to the train station on Saturday. I bought A LOT of new things. Like, so much I felt a bit obscene every time it came to pay. But I couldn't have done that if you hadn't spared me from paying rent for the next few months, so thank you so much for being a bottomless well of kindness, even though I should be saving that money for a deposit on a new flat and have had no common sense in my approach to this.

James Potter: don't worry about it, you deserve bottomless wells of kindness and of every good thing in life are you going to leicester with remus and beatrice this weekend?

Lily Evans: No, although I'm going the Saturday after for a pre-Mother's Day lunch with my mum and Petunia. I'm heading to Stockport to spend the night at Emily's, it just so happens that Bea and I both need to leave from Euston. Actually, first I'm getting my hair done, then I'm donating my clothes, THEN I'm going to Stockport to see Em. Then I'm going wall climbing with her and her mum and sister.

James Potter: oh cool! i love climbing, have you ever done it before?

Lily Evans: I went to a climbing centre once for a friend's birthday party years ago, I was twelve and I got my first period while I was actively on the wall, so I spent quite a lot of the day running into the toilet to check that nobody could see it even though I was wearing black shorts and Carina's mum had given me a pad. So the short answer is: not really, but I'm not worried, none of them are expecting me to be any good at it even though they're all basically professionals. Em and her sister also go cycling every Sunday morning so I have been informed that a loaner bike and safety gear is available if I want to join them.

James Potter: do you think you will go?

Lily Evans: Yeah! I haven't cycled in a few years but I do cardio every day so I reckon I can manage the exercise even if I wind up extremely saddle-sore afterwards. Plus this all means I get to bring and wear some of my new workout clothes, and honestly I'll take any excuse.

James Potter: if you put some chamois cream on before you cycle you'll save yourself a lot of discomfort little tip from my mum that i flagrantly ignored in my youth

Lily Evans: Why did you ignore it?

James Potter: because i was A MAN who didn't NEED to smear cream on my groin to train for a triathlon except it turns out i did also i was only about sixteen, who the fuck did i think i was, cat noir?

Lily Evans: I'm going to skim past the fact that you know who Cat Noir is because then I'll need to explain why I know who he is and it's probably the same reason.

James Potter: it's definitely the same reason

Lily Evans: God, we're both such dweebs. I mean, you're much cooler than I am, but still.

James Potter: not true at all, i'm a massive dork, i just happen to play a lot of sports, so people who don't know me well don't spot it straight away

Lily Evans: And you're stupidly attractive, which isn't often expected of massive dorks because we live in a society that unfairly pigeonholes people into boxes based upon their perceived attractiveness. This I say as I shop for makeup online. I know I'm part of the problem.

James Potter: what does "stupidly" attractive mean? i'd love a definition

Lily Evans: You already defined it yourself. Weeks ago, actually.

James Potter: what??? when?

Lily Evans: "And now," gasped Theo, in a ruggedly handsome but also charmingly boyish but also sexy but also dorky way that seems really impossible for a real human man to accomplish, "I will kiss you at last!" See? Defined. As per you. Also important to note: this kind of attractiveness makes people who fancy you act and feel like blushing, giggling idiots. Hence, "stupidly" attractive.

James Potter: well

Lily Evans: Your brother, on the other hand, is NOT stupidly attractive. He's inaccessibly attractive. Which is very different. Science.

James Potter: noooo don't talk about sirius! talk about me again!

Lily Evans: I just did. At length.

James Potter: talk about me more who am i making blush and giggle?

Lily Evans: How quickly you forget that I still field emails from Jessalyn et al.

James Potter: oh it's JESSALYN, is it?

Lily Evans: Et al.

James Potter: i think you should elaborate on et al

Lily Evans: I'd love to but I have to jump into a meeting.

James Potter: no you don't!

Lily Evans: Yes I do!

James Potter: a meeting with who?

Lily Evans: With Agnes from Julia Murphy.

James Potter: who is agnes from julia murphy

Lily Evans: Julia Murphy is a skincare company, one of our brand partners, and it's in my calendar, see?? <image attachment> I'm not trying to get out of telling you I think you're cute.

James Potter: two minutes ago i was ruggedly handsome and charmingly boyish and sexy now i'm merely cute?

Lily Evans: And dorky. Don't forget dorky.

James Potter: i haven't forgotten anything, thank you very much

Lily Evans: James, you are ruggedly handsome and charmingly boyish and sexy. Are you happy now?

James Potter: that reply will do, but only because you're busy you're off the hook for now but i expect you to revisit this subject later

Lily Evans: God, who even are you, my owner?

James Potter: that's an interesting choice of words, lil

Lily Evans: DON'T YOU DARE ANSWER THAT QUESTION

[creations-by-chaosfay]

I'm working on painting again, and will be painting during my, now very necessary, breaks. My new goal is to aquire more colors, but you have the option if purchasing the paint directly. All shop purchases are donations will be going towards bills and then paints.

I will be rotating between sewing and painting, but only after I start se2ing again. Making new quilts won't happen until probably mid-February. I made quilts virtually nonstop from Februry to October 2024 because we were so desperate for money. Especially when Cacoa (RIP), my service animal, kept falling ill. She passed away at age 18 years (spent entirely as my constant companion) in November 2024.

Making so many quilts with no more than two week breaks when my left wrist and hand hurt resulted in tendonitis from my hand to my shoulder. Recovery started in November 2024, and made more complicated by my having hEDS. I'm restricted to painting and playing video games until the tendonitis is healed. I will also be restricted to no more than 10 hours each week for quilt making. Thankfully, I now have the means to machine quilt. After practice pieces, I'll be able to make quilts in a fraction of the time I used take, and thus less stress on my joints and more quilts in the shop.

Thank you for your help, and for your patience, as I recover.

After I have the paints, I'll post a new goal. Here's the list, and you can purchase these from my Throne list, with the option of anonymously.

Stationary bike

Non-slip stickers for my rulers

New rulers

Filing cabinet - not listed

Printer

Quilt storage bags

Rotary blades

Tea

Sewing machine foot collection

Stationary mixer

Shelving for my sewing room - not listed, for vertical storage because the room is so small.

Paints for my dining room - not listed

Shelving for the living room - not listed

Shelving for the dining room - not listed

A second and possibly third pair of shoes - I own a single pair of shoes because trying on shoes is a sensory nightmare. I would like to get a pair of boots for gardening as well.

Shelving for my husband's "man-cave" - not listed

New switch/power board thing to replace the overworked one that came with the house - not listed

Replace our plumbing - not listed, we may receive financial aid for this due to my being Disabled; there's a program in my area for this.

Repair the wall heating units - one just blows air, not heat.

Commissions of both my cats - Jasper (age 14) passed away in November 2022, Cacoa (age 18) precisely two years later, on the same day.

[the-habitat-ring]

The (Real) Stardew Valley Farm Update 2024

I’m wrapping up my third year trying to grow everything from Stardew Valley in our yard, with substitutions as needed, preferably with Midwest USA native plants.

I’m continuing to battle the invasive plants (why won’t the honeysuckle and thistles stop?????), beg for truckloads of woodchips (Google decided our address isn’t real anymore), and deal with a body and brain that makes going outside impossible sometimes (the past two years have been rough medically). But despite all of that I still managed to make a ton of progress!

Here’s how things stand as of now. If you’re looking back at previous posts you might notice some differences, but that’s mainly because things I planted died (drought + medical crises don’t bode well for newly established plants). I’ve also added the additional crops from the new update.

2021

Amaranth - Native white amaranth

Grape - Native riverbank grapes (so many grapes). I’m hopefully going to successfully propagate some cuttings from the neighbor’s green cultivated variety

Dandelion - Obviously

Maple Tree - Native silver, red, and sugar maples

Pine Tree - Douglas fir

Apple Tree - Three old apple trees of different varieties in very rough shape. I’ve been working to prune them up and two are looking a lot better. I’d love an Enterprise apple tree at some point

Coffee Bean - Chicory (a naturalized plant commonly used as a coffee substitute)

Salmonberry - Native black raspberries since salmonberries aren’t from around here, although I really want to add raspberries of various colors in the future

Starfruit - Native wood sorrel

Cave Carrot - Queen Ann’s Lace, AKA wild carrot

2022

Kale

Rhubarb

Strawberry - Both cultivated and native

Tulip

Radish

Tomato

Eggplant

Fairy Rose - Native prairie rose

Cranberries - Native cranberry viburnum

Orange Tree -Native persimmons, which produce orange fruit

Daffodil

Spring Onion - Native nodding onions

Spice Berry - Native spicebushes

Wild Plum - Native plums

Crocus

Cherry Tree - Native black cherries and nonnative bush cherries

Banana Tree - Native pawpaws, which are also known as Indiana bananas

Sweet Gem Berry - Native Juneberry (Downy Serviceberry)

2023

Garlic - Native wild garlic

Blueberries - I planted three varieties and only one survived. Don’t shortcut your bed preparation, friends

Wild Horseradish - Not wild, but contained with my mint

Hops - Teamaker hops which is good for tea since we’re not alcohol fans

2024

Blue Jazz - Native Ozark Bluestar

Beets

Apricot Tree - Native passionflower vine, also known as wild apricot

Sunflower - Both native and non-native sunflowers

Pumpkin

Cactus Fruit - Native prickly pear cactus

Melon - Cantaloupe

Oak Tree - Native dwarf chinquapin oak, which took me forever to get

Hot Pepper

Palm Tree/coconut - Native palm sedge

Poppy - Native purple poppy mallow, after other native poppies failed. I still want to grow bread seed poppies, though

Corn - Tried some gorgeous colored corn and popcorn that didn’t grow great but they did grow!

Green bean

Hazelnut - They’re supposed to be easy to grow but they do not like me. Third time’s the charm, right?

Carrot

Summer squash

Powder melon - I decided to do honeydew melon because it’s kinda powdery and I don’t really have any other ideas

Planned for 2025 and beyond

Potato

Pineapple - White strawberries (pineberries)

Winter Root - Hopniss, a native root vegetable

Red Cabbage

Artichoke - Native Jerusalem artichokes

Yam

Bok Choy

Leek

Fiddlehead Fern - Ferns do not like me

Blackberry

Crystal Fruit - Probably honey berries, which produce fruit earlier than anything else

Ancient Fruit - Native Aronia berries. They’re blue(ish) and have lots of antioxidants so you live to be ancient

Tea Leaves - Native New Jersey Tea bush. The previous ones were murdered by rabbits

Mango Tree - I thought one of our pawpaws was a variety called mango but I was wrong

Ginger - I want to try growing native wild ginger again

Rice - Native rough-leaved rice grass

Wheat - I have some gorgeous ornamental blue wheat seeds

Summer Spangle - Possibly native prairie lily? I was unsuccessful growing it from seed this year but maybe in the future

Parsnip - I can’t get them to germinate to save my life but one day I will be successful

Sweat pea

Holly - Native winterberry holly

Mushrooms - I'm just gonna ignore varieties and try some plugs or similar

Peach - Vine peach. It’s a melon, and more doable than a tree

Mahogany Tree - I think I’ll resort to mahogany nasturtiums

Broccoli

Pomegranate Tree - I could try Russian pomegranates?

Taro Root - I would have to plant it in pots

Snow Yam - Not actually a yam but maybe native sweet potato vine?

Qi Fruit - Very creepy, not sure what to do with this

Over halfway there! If anyone has suggestions for plants please let me know because I’m still stuck on a few and very open to alternatives.

In other news, I’m making Stardew Valley Fair displays with cross stitch patches for each of the items I’ve added that year. I’ll have to post pics of those at some point.

[black-arcana]

LZZY HALE: New HALESTORM Music 'Will Be Worth The Wait'

During an appearance on the May 23 episode of SiriusXM's "Trunk Nation With Eddie Trunk", HALESTORM frontwoman Lzzy Hale spoke about the progress of the writing and recording sessions for the band's follow-up to 2022's "Back From The Dead" album. She said (as transcribed by BLABBERMOUTH.NET): It's a strange year because instead of us taking three months off to do a record, or 'hey, now we're only focusing on touring' or 'we're only focusing on other avenues,' we're kind of doing everything all at once. So we've had a couple just kind of three-week sessions in the studio, and we're finishing up new music, which has been so exciting. We've been recording with [producer] Dave Cobb, of all people, and he's just amazing and, I think, exactly what the doctor ordered for where we're at in our life. And so we're really excited about new music. But then we're touring all over the States this year because we spent so much time in Europe last year. So, yeah, we kick it off with I PREVAIL in July. And then in the fall, we're going out with EVANESCENCE to Canada, for all the people up there. It's how we live. This is life. We just keep the train rolling down the hill. So it's all very exciting. And I can't wait for you to hear the music, and I can't wait to see everybody this summer at all the festivals. And yeah, we just have a a great year coming up."

Asked how fan along she and the rest of HALESTORM are on the new music, Lzzy said: "This has been an amazing experience because Dave Cobb, he's like half wise old oak and then half A.D.D. five-year-old in the sandbox, which works very well with our little camp in HALESTORM, because we're all perpetually 15 years old anyway. And so it's been a beautiful process.

"We've been doing all the things," she explained. "So I've been writing during our off time, but then also we're writing and recording in the studio, but kind of all at once. So as it's being created, we're getting the final takes. So, half of the record is done, and then there are some things that we have one more session to kind of go in, after our next tour, to kind of just kind of finish everything up, put the icing on the cake, if you will, and make sure we have everything there and then it should be kind of sewn up. But it's been really beautiful because we've been recording, actually, out in Savannah, Georgia. Dave Cobb has a house [there]. And if you can imagine, it's just the four of us staying in one house. No distractions, 'cause it's Savannah, Georgia — they love their tea and they love their food and that's about it. And unsupervised, so there's no managers, there's no crew, no tour and nothing going on. So, in a lot of ways, this record feels like our beginning, when we were all just kind of living with each other in the same apartment and every day is something new, everything is ready to record, ready to go. So whatever you do, as long as you're chasing what gets you excited, it's going to get down on tape. So, it's just been a great experience. And I'm looking forward to the finished product and being able to tease everybody with dates as to when we're gonna unleash it."

Speaking about Cobb's somewhat unorthodox recording approach, Lzzy said: "There've been a couple of songs where we'll have forgotten to put on the click track as a guide, and then that ends up being the take because we were all playing with each other and there was a different energy. Or [Dave] really understands the line between when you're excited about something and it's happening, and then that post, after that line when you're trying too hard to rock, or you're trying too hard to be a singer, or you've memorized it too many times. There's a fine line with performance and getting magic on tape, whereas a lot of people are… I mean, we all do it, but you shoot for perfection. But somewhere, if you're shooting too hard for that perfection, the human element gets lost. And then the magic is lost, or it just sounds like you're reading it, or it sounds like you've played it a million times and you're tired, or you're thinking about something else. So, for a band like us, it's really worked. And it was actually nerve-racking in the beginning because we went in, and you always have your bank of songs you've written or riffs for days and, like, 'Okay, what do we start with? And Dave was very adamant about not having a plan, which was nerve-racking. I'm, like, 'Wait. No, we have to have a plan or it's just gonna be chaos. What's happening? I don't know how to work like this.' And then, after a couple of days, I'm, like, this is actually really nice because every day we just get in the sandbox and we play, and, 'Oh, I brought a LEGO set, you brought a rocket. Let's see what we can do with this.' And so it's been really beautiful to see these things develop and almost the music telling you what to do, not the other way around. I'm so used to going into a studio where it's, 'Okay, we have our 15 songs that we know we want on the record, and we're just gonna do a song a day and get them all done and recorded.' This is completely different because he doesn't want to lose — again — that intangible magic that comes with the excitement of when things are new and you're creating. You don't have time to think; you've just gotta get it done. And so it's been beautiful to kind of. see all of that come together."

Asked if she thinks HALESTORM will release some new music this year or fans will have to wait until 2025 to get something fresh from the band, Lzzy said: "You know what? I've learned this — I can make all the promises in the world. I would love to do that. I'm hoping that we will at least have something to show before the end of the year, but I know how this goes — I end up promising dates, and then something happens and some recall from mastering or something doesn't work out with numbers or with whatever it is. So I'm not making promises, but I will tell you it'll be worth the wait."

HALESTORM is working with Cobb after making three records with Nick Raskulinecz.

Cobb has shared in nine Grammy wins, including four for "Best Americana Album" and three for "Best Country Album". He's also been named "Producer Of The Year" by the Country Music Awards, the Americana Music Association (twice) and the Music Row Awards, and has been a Grammy nominee in the category.

Lzzy and her brother Arejay (drums) formed HALESTORM in 1998 while in middle school. Guitarist Joe Hottinger joined the group in 2003, followed by bassist Josh Smith in 2004.

In May 2023, HALESTORM teamed up with country singer Ashley McBryde for a reimagined version of the band's song "Terrible Things", which was originally featured on HALESTORM's latest album, the aforementioned "Back From The Dead".

[remypat]

In 2016, I heard many of my friends talk about a new anime centered around figure skating. I was eighteen years old, closeted, and I had never given figure skating a second thought. It just didn’t seem appealing to me. Well, after a couple weeks of having my tumblr page be flooded with clips from Yuri on Ice, I caved in and watched it. After all, you can only see butt-naked Victor so many times before finally saying “You know what? I guess I’ll give it a try”

And Oh My God. My life was never the same. 

First off, the story that is woven in this anime is so beautifully hilarious. Like, you’re telling me, that this 27 year old living legend got swept off his feet by a drunk Japanese man and he dropped everything to go be his coach? At eighteen, it seemed ridiculous but now as an openly queer 26 year old, all I can say is: I GET IT. I would have been in Japan yesterday. I’m a writer that loves campy humor and this was not just my cup of tea, it was like ambrosia sent from the gods of olympus. I love it.

I also fell in love with figure skating. I’ve watched Worlds, the Grand Prix, Nationals, and both the 2018 and 2022 Winter Olympics through my TV screen. I was so into figure skating, I still remember when Nathan Chen said that it was really hard for him (a straight man) to compete a gay-dominated sport. (Yeah, no one wants to bring that up since he won his gold medal.) But my point is, Yuri on Ice means a lot to me. It always will. Thanks to YOI, I fell in love with figure skating and it’s thanks to that love that I have created my own little story centered around figure skating. 

My story is called Why Lie Now?

Yes, it is a queer romance and yes, it is about figure skating, but it’s not Yuri on Ice. I cannot possibly ask you all to fill the void in your hearts with my story, but I implore you, that if you like queer romances, and you like figure skating, you just might really like this story too. 

I am updating in parts but for the meantime, please check it out!

[milkyfederation]

A friend just reminded me of an old concept of mine I still like a lot, my take on urban fantasy. (01/2022)

In the modern age, paranormal menaces are starting to adapt to the new technologies.

What are the new generations going to do when they receive threatening dms from a creepy pasta, their console gets possessed by a vengeful spirit, or a tricky ghost hides the last draft of their thesis?

Why, call "Nati and Tina, Paranormal IT", of course!

Martina is a sheltered and smart 18 yo who loves computers more than anything. She comes from a family of eccentric ghost hunters, but doesn't want to follow in on their footsteps.

Natalia is a messy and extroverted 23 yo with an interest in witchcraft and the paranormal. IT is her third try at superior studies after dipping her toes at marketing and business.

Together they form a Paranormal IT side hustle combining their strenghts. Nati needs the money, and Martina is enchanted by the cool girl who wants to hang out with her, even if she wanted to distance herself from ghost stuff.

The E-Cronomicon, Nati's E-Book. It's so full of occult lore pdfs from the dark web it's become cursed. - Using necromancy to get back the soul of an accidentaly deleted thesis project.

At the library researching a case, Nati with boba tea, Martina with way too many energy trinks. - They live in the city (either Barcelona or a made up one inspired by it), so their company ride is the bus. Here they're securing a cursed TV.

So yeah, haven't thought about this in a while but I like the concept a lot. I barely have broad strokes and ideas of what the history and structure would be.

Nati's design needs a bit of a retouch, I think I want her to be cool and fashionable, but I am incapable of drawing something I have no idea about. Martina's is perfect, one of my favourite designs I've done.

[balanchine-ballet-master]

The Story of the Original "Tea" Dancer

There was a delightful story in the Times on February 4th about George Lee, on whom Balanchine created the Tea variation in The Nutcracker. Here it is.

From Ballet to Blackjack, a Dance Pioneer’s Amazing Odyssey

George Lee was the original Tea in “George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker.” A documentary filmmaker found him and a lost part of ballet history in Las Vegas.

By Siobhan Burke Feb. 4, 2024

Among the blaring lights and all-hours amusements of downtown Las Vegas, in a sea of slot machines at the Four Queens Hotel and Casino, George Lee sits quietly at a blackjack table, dealing cards eight hours a day, five days a week, a job he’s been doing for more than 40 years.

Lee, 88, was likely in his usual spot when the filmmaker Jennifer Lin was sifting through old photos at the New York Public Library for the Performing Arts in 2022, wondering what had become of a dancer with a notable place in ballet history. Pictured in a publicity shot for the original production of “George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker,” in the role known as Tea, was a young Asian dancer identified as George Li.

For Lin, a veteran newspaper reporter turned documentarian, the picture raised intriguing questions. In 1954, when the photo was taken, it was rare to see dancers of color on the stage of New York City Ballet, the company Balanchine co-founded. Who was this young man, this breaker of racial barriers, this pioneer? Was he still alive? And if so, what was he up to? “I became absolutely obsessed with trying to find out what happened to George Li,” Lin said in a video interview.

In just over a year, that obsession has blossomed into a short film, “Ten Times Better,” that chronicles the unexpected story of Lee’s life: from his childhood in 1940s Shanghai, where his performing career began; to a refugee camp in the Philippines, where he fled with his mother, a Polish ballet dancer, in 1949; to New York City and the School of American Ballet, where Balanchine cast him in “The Nutcracker” to “Flower Drum Song” on Broadway, his first of many musical theater gigs; and ultimately, to Las Vegas, where he left dance for blackjack dealing in 1980. (He changed the spelling of his last name in 1959, when he became a United States citizen.)

The film will have its premiere on Feb. 10 as part of the Dance on Camera Festival at Film at Lincoln Center. Lee, who last visited New York in 1993, will be in town for the occasion, an opportunity for long-overdue recognition.

“So many years I haven’t done ballet,” Lee said over coffee at the Four Queens on a recent Sunday, after his shift. “And then suddenly Jennifer comes and tries to bring everything up. To me, it was like a shock.”

George Lee today. He has been a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas for more than 40 years. Photo: Saeed Rahbaran for The New York Times

But Lin’s interest has been welcome. “Jennifer is so perfect, she knows exactly everything,” he said. “She knows my background more than I do.”

Lin was not the only one who had been searching for Lee. In 2017, while organizing an exhibition on “The Nutcracker,” Arlene Yu, who worked for the New York Public Library at the time and is now Lincoln Center’s head archivist, was puzzled by the relatively few traces of him in the library’s vast dance collection.

“I think I’d tracked him down to 1961, but after that, it was really hard to find anything,” she said. “Whereas if you look at some of his peers in ‘The Nutcracker’ in 1954, they went on to careers where there was a lot more documentation.”

Lin’s fascination with Lee emerged through her work on another film, about Phil Chan and Georgina Pazcoguin, the founders of Final Bow for Yellowface, an initiative focused on ending offensive depictions of Asians in ballet. The role of Tea, a divertissement historically rife with such stereotypes—in Balanchine’s canonical version of “The Nutcracker” and others—has been a flashpoint in those efforts. Chan, too, had been struck by the 1954 images of “The Nutcracker,” which he came across during a library fellowship in 2020.

“I’m like, wait, there’s actually a Chinese guy,” he said — as opposed to a non-Chinese dancer with the saffron makeup or heavily painted eyes or even the artificial buck teeth worn in some old productions. “Who is this guy? And why do I not know about him?”

The "Tea" variation in The Nutcracker at City Ballet in 2015. The dancers are Ralph Ippolito, Claire Von Enck, and Baily Jones. Photo: Andrea Mohin for The New York Times

Lee, in his heyday, was a dancer to know. At just 12, he was already winning public praise. In a preview of a recital of the King-Yanover School in Shanghai, the North China Daily News called him an “extremely promising young Chinese boy, whose technique is of a very high standard.” A reviewer wrote that he “already may be said to be the best Chinese interpreter of Western ballet.” (Lee saved these newspaper clippings and shared them with Lin when they eventually met.)

Born in Hong Kong in 1935, Lee moved to Shanghai with his mother in 1941, when Shanghai was under Japanese occupation. During World War II, his father, a Chinese acrobat, was in Kunming in western China; he died in an accident on his way to visit Lee in 1945.

Lee’s mother, Stanislawa Lee, who had danced with the Warsaw Opera, was his first ballet teacher; as a child, he would follow along with her daily barre exercises. Shanghai had a significant Russian population, and with that a robust ballet scene. To earn money, Stanislawa arranged for her son to perform in nightclubs—“like a polka dance, or Russian dance, or sailor dance,” Lee said. The clubs would pay them in rice.

Little George Li in his Shanghai days. Photo: George Lee private collection via the NY Times

Fearing the Chinese Communist Party’s takeover in 1949, the two evacuated to the Philippines. An expected four months as refugees turned into two years. In 1951, an American friend of Lee’s father sponsored them to come to New York, where he introduced Lee to the School of American Ballet, City Ballet’s affiliated school.

As Lee narrates these twists and turns in the film, one memory anchors his recollections. Before they immigrated, his mother issued a warning. “You are going to America, it’s all white people, and you better be 10 times better,” he recalls her saying. “Remember that: 10 times better!”

The footage of Lee in his 20s suggests he took that advice to heart. In television appearances — with the company of the ballet star André Eglevsky, and in a number from “Flower Drum Song” on the Ed Sullivan Show — his power and precision dazzle.

“He was good; he was really good,” Chan said. “Clean fifth, high jump, polished turns, stick the landing—the training is all there. He’s already 10 times better than everybody else.”

In a 1979 interview heard in the film, the former City Ballet soloist Richard Thomas, who took over the role of Tea, raves about Lee’s peerless acrobatic jumps: “He was wonderful! Balanchine choreographed a variation for him that none of us have ever been able to equal.”

As Lee remembers it, Balanchine spent 15 minutes with him in the studio. “He said, ‘What can you do good? Show me what you can do good,’ so I show him something,” Lee said. “I did things like splits and double turns, down and up, turn again like a ball, and that’s it. He picked up some things and put them together.”

George Li as a student at the School of American Ballet. Photo: George Lee private collection via the NY Times

He recalled that during a “Nutcracker” dress rehearsal, the City Ballet makeup artist put him in full yellowface, and Balanchine insisted he take off the makeup. “He is Asian enough! Why do you make him more?” he remembers Balanchine saying. Lee was costumed in the Fu Manchu mustache, queue ponytail and rice paddy hat often associated with the role, now widely critiqued as racist caricatures. But he said he didn’t take offense. “Dancing is dancing,” he said.

Lee performed in “The Nutcracker” as a student; he was never invited to join City Ballet. But he clearly excelled in his classes and onstage. For that, he credits his strong foundation of Russian training in China — and his mother’s exacting standards. He can still see her standing in the studio doorway at the School of American Ballet, observing closely.

“She was watching the class and then would go home and tell me, ‘You did this wrong or that wrong, you got to do it this way,’” he said. “So I really worked hard, and I was good.” (His favorite teacher at the school was the demanding Anatole Oboukhoff: “He always wanted more, and that’s why I liked him very much.”)

To make a living Lee turned to musical theater, performing in shows like “Baker Street” on Broadway and the cabaret “Carol Channing with her 10 Stout-Hearted Men,” which opened in London. He pieced together jobs for more than 20 years, often unsure of what would come next.

Lee in flight in a production of “Flower Drum Song” in Las Vegas in the early 1960s. Photo: George Lee personal collection via the NY Times

He was dancing in a Vegas revue, “Alcazar de Paris,” now in his 40s, when a blackjack dealer friend suggested he go to dealer school. “I can’t dance all my life,” he remembers thinking. He decided to give dealing a try and soon landed a job at the Four Queens. Aside from four years at another casino, he has worked there ever since.

In December 2022, he got a voice mail message from Lin. With her reporting skills and some crucial assists from Yu, she had determined that he lived in Las Vegas. Of the five phone numbers she found for George Lees, four led nowhere; his was the last she tried.

When they finally connected, she put her other project on hold to focus on his story; she and her small creative team had a final cut by November. “George is 88, and I wanted him to be able to enjoy this moment, where people recognize him for his dancing,” she said.

As he prepares to return to New York, Lee said he felt gratified, most of all, for his mother.

“I’m proud for her that I didn’t let her down,” he said. “It makes me feel better to look up at her and say: ‘Look, mother, now you see what’s happening, what you did for me. You gave me all the good foundation, everything. Through you, I’m here now.’”

George Lee today. Photo: Saeed Rahbaran for The New York Times

[mariacallous]

Understanding other countries requires more than studying them from afar. This fundamental fact is hardly news. In the 18th and 19th centuries, young people conducted a grand tour of other countries to get to know them better (and, by extension, their own countries). Over the past few decades, all manner of universities have launched semester-abroad programs that make such learning extremely easy.

But increasingly, young Americans with foreign-policy and national-security ambitions are eschewing interaction with foreign countries and even foreign individuals. They want security clearances, and they know that any foreign exposure will complicate matters. This intellectual isolationism risks severely harming U.S. foreign and security policy—just when an acceleratingly unstable world needs able U.S. officials.

Understanding other countries is a daunting and sometimes humbling experience. For the most part, the first step involves attempting to communicate in a foreign language. One can improve one’s abilities by watching movies and television from the countries in question, or by reading newspapers or listening to the radio.

As a teenager, I improved my German by reading Bild-Zeitung whenever I got access to it (Bild was easier reading than Der Spiegel and Die Zeit, to which I later graduated). Later on, I worked on my Italian by watching Italian movies without subtitles. To this day, I regularly listen to RAI (Italian radio), both to keep myself informed and to improve my linguistic abilities.

But even if one does speak the desired foreign language well, one can only understand the country in which it’s spoken by living there for an extended period of time. It involves learning that country’s culture and cultural references, and preferably understanding its society and politics. “I don’t drink coffee, I take tea, my dear,” Sting sang in Alien in New York. But when in Rome, do as the Romans do. Or try, at least.

As an expat, one will always be in the minority. Frequently, one won’t get cultural references, or one will misunderstand them. That has happened to me countless times ever since I moved abroad in my first year of university (I’ve remained abroad ever since). It’s frequently humiliating and exasperating, though it is, of course, often enormously educational. And learning a bit of humility is not a bad side benefit of getting to know another country.

Starting in the late 1600s, young Europeans of means considered the grand tour a must in their civic education, and subsequent generations have also appreciated the value of interacting with other countries. The United States’ Gen Z appreciates it too. Indeed, many of the best and brightest among America’s Gen Z want to make a career out of foreign affairs and international security. They want it so much that they map out their next steps at an early stage. Those steps include applying to the finest U.S. graduate programs in foreign affairs and national security.

Once they’ve arrived in these fine institutions of higher learning, the world is their oyster, right? Not so much. In recent months, I’ve been hearing more and more from professors of international affairs that their students are so focused on getting security clearances for their hoped-for government jobs that they’re forgoing foreign contacts. They’re opting out of study-abroad opportunities and avoiding friendships with foreign students.

Princeton undergraduates’ choices of what field to major in give a good indication of ambitious college students’ thinking. In 2022, the university’s six regional concentrations—which include German, French and Italian, and East Asian Studies—were among the school’s 10 least popular concentrations, the Daily Princetonian reported.

For the third year running, the most popular concentrations were computer science, the School of Public and International Affairs, economics, and operations research and financial engineering. Last academic year (the most recent available), meanwhile, Princeton had a total of one Master’s student in German, two in Slavic languages, four in French and Italian, and six in East Asian Studies. It had no Master’s students in Spanish and Portuguese.

Last fall, George Washington University’s Elliott School of International Affairs, which produces “leading experts in business, security, diplomacy, public service, development, conflict resolution, public health, and other fields,” ended its Master’s in European and Eurasian Studies.

During the Cold War, Washington took knowledge of other countries extremely seriously. Universities offered area studies, in which students specialized in, yes, a specific area of the world—and that included learning not just the relevant languages, but the culture and politics, too, not to mention spending time there. Because the government valued such expertise, area experts could look forward to a good career. American students often spent half a year or a year in East Germany, in the Soviet Union, in Poland.

Today, few such programs remain, and even when they’re offered, students—with careers and security clearances in mind—steer clear of them. “My cursor hovered lovingly over ‘East Asian Studies’ (EAS) for a few seconds; then, with a firm finality, I scrolled down and clicked on ‘School of Public and International Affairs’ (SPIA). One last click, ‘submit form,’ and the deed was done,” a Princeton student named Vincent Jiang wrote in the Daily Princetonian last spring.

Today’s ambitious young men and women in top graduate programs will no doubt get their security clearances, and they’re certain to land good jobs in foreign and security policy, too. But what knowledge will they bring? The United States’ many Iranian Americans and Chinese Americans, meanwhile, would be ideal recruits to the CIA or the NSA. They, though, have a reduced chance of getting security clearances to begin with.

With limited exposure to friendly and unfriendly countries, the next generation of diplomats and intelligence officials unlikely have the kind of knowledge Washington needs. That’s a great pity. During the height of globalization, when many a country gave the impression of moving in a Westerly direction, the United States might have been able to get away with insufficient understanding of its fellow nations. But with the geopolitical standoff between Western countries and a China-led grouping intensifying, with the Middle East on the brink of escalating conflict, and with Russia menacing its neighbors, Washington needs such knowledge.

Meanwhile, traffic in the other direction is proceeding briskly—indeed, it’s exploding. In the 2021-22 academic year (the latest year available), British universities had 680,000 foreign students compared to 2.18 million students from the U.K. The former included 152,000 from China and 17,630 from Hong Kong. Nearly 127,000 Indians were studying in Britain, too, as were 9,000 Saudis and even 15 North Koreans. By contrast, a mere 23,000 Americans were studying in Britain. (Already in 2017-2018, the total number of foreign students in the U.K. was extremely high, at 470,000.) At U.S. universities, the percentage of foreign students has grown by 149 percent since 1976—but by only 47 percent since 2010.

Many of the foreigners enroll at Western universities through programs funded by their governments. Indeed, this month a British investigation into concerns that foreigners were exploiting higher education as a way of getting work in the country found that the vast majority of them were, in fact, bona fide students.

Expertise gained from books and television is fine, but woefully inadequate for people who make decisions about foreign and security policy. Yes, well-trained U.S. diplomats and intelligence officers send good information back to Washington. Even they, though, suffer from the same cultural myopia as their graduate-student brethren, often serving in foreign countries whose languages they don’t speak.

Indeed, many a diplomat seems to prefer life inside the embassy compound than out in the field. And even the most insightful diplomatic dispatches are of little use if the recipients back home possess a Washington-centric view of the world. There are many people in recent U.S. administrations who would have benefited massively from living in other countries.

Granted, new espionage legislation in Russia and China makes living there daunting for Americans and other Westerners. But it’s still possible. And there are countless other countries future U.S. officials ought to know from more than reading and remote viewing.

“Make area studies cool again,” as the Daily Princetonian headline urged. Amen to that—and to real knowledge about other countries. Not because such knowledge needs a “cool” label, but because it’s indispensable.

[natimiles]

I was checking my AO3 statistics just for fun. So fetch some tea and have a seat, darling. I'm gonna ramble a lot!

2020 I was already playing Ikevamp, Ikesen, Ikerev, and Obey Me, but didn't write anything for them. Well, except for that one Obey Me fanfic. I was in the BNHA fandom and wrote lots of fanfics for it. However, most of them were reposts because I had to delete my account from another site. They banned my friend, and they were targeting Kacchako writers, so I saved everything I've ever written and reposted it on AO3 and Wattpad (which meand some of these fanfics aren't from 2020 but from 2018 and 2019). At that time, I was involved in a writing project for Kacchako and one for Ochako, so it helped me to write more.

2021 I didn't post anything on AO3 because I didn't get many views there. Since everything I wrote was in portuguese, and the BNHA fandom that writes and reads in portuguese wasn't really active there. However, I posted 3 fanfics on Wattpad (if you wanna check it out, just know I'm not active there anymore). Three fanfics for a whole year. Ouch.

2022 I wrote... 3 fanfics. Again. I didn't post anything on another site; I just didn't write anything else. I stopped playing Ikevamp after they released Sebastian's route and barely opened Obey Me. So I didn't write anything, even though I read a lot and had some good ideas. It was a weird year for me... I didn't accomplish anything. I could've spent the whole year sleeping, and it would have the same result: nothing. Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound sad! It's just how I feel now that I look back and think about it.

2023 Sometimes I just write like a robot, and when I realize it, there's a whole fanfic ready to be posted. But other times, I struggle, and I spend a whole week writing a small scenario because the words just fly away from my brain, HASIHEUASIEHA. English is not my first language, and I had COVID twice, so my memory is fucked up. It was never good, but it got worse, HASIUEHAS.

These statistics aren't even for the whole year; I started writing again in October! I already had this blog in 2020, but I only reblogged. When I spent the whole year away from everything, I didn't even read here anymore. So I'm really happy and proud of everything I did in 2023! Being active here brought me some good friends (yes, all my mutuals are already my besties, and you can't run away from me! I'll chase you all if you try!) and I'm really glad to be back.

And for 2024, I hope everything gets even better! I wanna try opening requests too, but it's still an idea. I'm not sure if I should and if I'll be able to handle it HASIUHEUSAIHEA. I plan to write more (I have lots of WIPs, HELP AHSEUHSA) and to play the games I liked again (I'm already back at Ikesen!).

Hopefully, we'll all be together this new year too, simping and crying for fictional men 🤍🤍

[dearunreliablenarrator]

Writeblr Interview Tag

thank you, thank you to @sableglass for the tag, you can catch their original post here!

Short stories, novels, or poems?

Novels! Sometimes, I think the ideas i have are too large to stay as short stories or that i couldn't capture what's needed for poems.

What genre do you prefer reading?

I've found myself dabbling a bit more into psycho thrillers now a days, otherwise the toes are buried in sci-fi, romance and the occasional philosophy book.

Are you a planner or a write as I go kind of person?

Girls/Guys/Theys', I couldn't plan a thing and stick to it if my life depended on it. I try to do both, just for consistency sake, but I often go off line anyways, but the most important scenes are always written first.

It does make editing a bitch though.

What music do you listen to while writing?

I honestly write in silence (scary i know). Otherwise, Kitchen Nightmares or Hell's Kitchen reruns are on in the back. And unless, I've already curated a playlist for what's being written, there's nothing in these ears but air.

I guess the easy answer is it depends!

Favorite books/movies?

The Menu (2022)/Bottoms (2023)/EEAAO (2022)

Song of Achilles/ A Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires/ Act Your Age, Eve Brown.

Any current WIPs?

Cherries Under the Sun! A new branch of writing for me, I always kinda felt like I had to stick to romance and burnt myself out. So here, we have a exploration of relationships with God and life (in both destructive and favorable manners) and the horrors of which one would go to achieve what they believe to be a righteous way of living.

I don't know...religion makes people do some weird shit in the name of their god and that something I want to explore. Did I mention there are vampires?!

If someone were to make a cartoon out of you what would your standard outfit be?

wide legged pants or leggings, oversized t-shirt and pair of crocs. although, a lot of the time; i'm winnie the poohin' it.

Create a character description of yourself: 

a fluorescent beige girl with copper sister locs, tortie glasses and a slew of patchwork tattoos with facial piercings. of average height, and my clothes probably have a layer of cat hair on them. i'm probably lifting weights or somethings.

Do you like incorporating actual people you know into your writing?

Lol yes, but half of the time its not even on purpose. kid you not, in the first chapter of Where the River Bends, i've actually had a man say that to me; and that was after I wrote it. (might be a soothsayer yall) Quite the experience!

Are you kill happy with your characters?

I have yet to kill anyone, but its in the plans. ugh, its gonna be an old lady. i'm sorry in advance; but yall might not even like her so *shrugs*

Coffee or Tea while writing?

don't shoot me! but i think dr.pepper is the ultimate answer. someone should make a dr.pepper tea. 

it might be too country of me to ask for it to be cold with lots of crushed ice.

Slow or fast writer?

I'd say i have my spurts of fast writing, but i think the slower i write; the more I get out.

Where/who/what do you draw inspiration from?

Real life, i think is the most agreeable answer at the moment. I like people watching or taking my own life experience and stories I've heard over the years and not replicating them but retelling them from my lense on life; which is very...dramatic and mystical to say the least.

If you were in a fantasy world, what would you be?

Oh, theres so many options for this...but a cook/pub/tavern owner would be the first thing. I love feeding people and making sure they have a place to get warm food, and it'd be pretty cheap too! Or, house staff to some hoity-toity family, maybe get their son or daughter to fall in love with me so I can get some inheritance...but daddy, i love them kind moment

Most fav book cliche:

nerdy girl gets the jock

Least favorite cliche:

misunderstandings/miscommunication; oh god shoot me now! or the "she's hotter without her glasses" move (9x/10 the glasses are what makes them hot!)

Favorite scene to write?

Lore dumping scenes! They may be long and a little tedious to get through but they give so much insight into the smaller behaviors that characters have.

why does character A pick their nose comfortably in public? cause once upon a time; their grammy said it was okay and it's better than having it hang in there all day with people noticing!

I think my favorite so far though, is Warren and Sabryna's talk after a disastrous dinner. It was something in that moment, that they both really needed. Tough conversations equals great rewards in this case.

Reason for writing?

Cause I can! I mean; I'd really come to hate myself if i didn't let these ideas meet the paper or the keyboard in this matter. I think its very freeing to create something of your own, just getting past what others may think is the hard part.

and yall i cant draw for shit besides doodles so i guess writing is it for me.

no pressure tags below! sorry if you were double tagged! @rumeysawrites @inadequatecowboy @lady-grace-pens @tito-sober @shepardsherd @dyrewrites @goldfinchwrites @caninecomplex

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 15 (Final)

Last one, everyone! After this, I finally get to play Spiritfarer which I got on . . . Christmas 2022.

NARRATION

Last chapter. Finally. Killing so many people in this route is really awful. Especially since you just . . . don't in the other two.

I think the last chapter will take place at the monastery.

Oh, great, does this mean I have to protect Bernie's dad in this route? I hope Rhea kills him, like gets this badass cut scene where she cuts him down for perverting her faith by using it as a propaganda tool.

So TWSITD showed up and is attacking Rhea and the Empire.

They're mostly after the "beasts" (aka Nabateans? Or humans?)

I wish this meant that we teamed up with Rhea, but we know Edelgard would team up with TWSITD first.

Catherine and Rhea got a cool moment together though.

Yep, we have to protect Count Varley, gross.

MAP

No side battles! This final chapter will be super quick, which is nice.

I'm VERY curious what the Golden Deer students say after Claude's moment last chapter lamo.

And if any Lions mention Sylvain :((((

OMG, Ignatz is savage. He only cares about painting the battle. No mention of Claude.

Yuri wishes he could kill Varley instead of save him. Good for him. He really feels more suited for AG/AM/SS/VW than SB/CF/GW.

Well, at least Mercedes mentioned Sylvain. And Ingrid and Annette. Saying they died for what they believed in and admires them for it, since she could never.

Poor Ashe is having a crisis. Still had no idea wtf he's doing in the Empire's war camp. Honestly, this game made him so much more interesting.

Linhardt also has no fucking clue why he's here. I swear he does nothing but complain every map (in a funny way) and wish he was doing literally anything else.

Lorenz is more concerned about his future bc of Claude than worried about him. Man, guy really has no one loyal to him lol.

DOROTHEA & CASPAR C

I swear I did a much better job getting supports in GW and AG.

Caspar has a bunch of books, and Dorothea's horrified by the idea that he'll use them in training.

Caspar plans to read them. Dorothea teases him. Apparently Lin made similar comments.

Dorothea makes him promise not to hurt the books. A woman after my own heart.

Caspar's like, did you know my dad reads! Dorothea's like, yeah . . . how do you think he got his role if he didn't.

Dorothea tells a story about an unlearned commander who studied strategy in books and improved to become legendary.

The only stupid part of this is thinking you can read and understand complicated books in 5 days and become an expect in 5 days. For once, Caspar was the smart one being like, uh, I need more time.

MERCEDES & LYSITHEA B

This support is SB locked, but neither characters are Eagles. It may be the only support like that in the game. But, hey, new Mercie content, I'll take it!

Mercedes comes across Lysithea in the kitchen, trying and failing to cook.

The fruits she wanted to use are moldy though. Lysithea has an idea to use something else for the fruit - a sugar syrup.

Lysithea has dedicated her time to learning how to cook because of how good Mercedes' cooking was, so she credits Mercie for the sugar syrup, which she learned because of that.

Baking also helped Lysithea learn the importance of taking breaks.

Mercie calls her a wizened old grandma, lol.

They arrange a tea party.

SHEZ & LINHARDT A

It starts with Linhardt saying they haven't learned anything about Shez's powers. I wonder how funny this sounds if you get it after the special chapters.

Linhardt says it's find because the war is almost over, so there's less need and chance for the powers to go out of control.

Shez pretty consistently wants to continue working as a mercenary after the battle.

He also seems to have no desire to stay in Enbarr lol.

Linhardt wants Shez as a personal bodyguard. Honestly, not a bad choice.

Then Linhardt says something like "spending the rest of my life with some random bodyguard" and then makes an excuse to leave. so he wants to stick with Shez for life. It's kind of sweet.

EDELGARD & PETRA A

Their only support

Edelgard comes across Petra praying to Bigid gods. In Brigid they pray in nature rather than in churches in Fodlan.

Edelgard asks Petra why she's risking her life in the war because it's bad for Brigid.

So Brigid will only be freed if Petra remains alive.

To be fair, it's because she doesn't know the new leader. Still feels a bit icky for Petra.

Edelgard warns about "tricks" the enemy will use. She really has a beef with anyone using tactics.

Petra just says she's happy to fight and can't run while everyone else remains and fights.

Edelgard says she can't back out, which true, but she could've just not started one. But that's in the past I guess.

Overall, came across better than the Houses one where Petra didn't seem like an equal.

EDELGARD/LYSITHEA/HAPI PARALOGUE

My plan is to have Edelgard and Shez make the other two adjuncts and see if I can't beat the paralogue that way.

It's about TWSITD, which isn't surprising given that character list.

God, I've made SB Shez so fucking stupid. Never understanding anything. It's so funny.

So is this about Cornelia? They found one of her old hideouts.

I had Shez shrug about joining. Hapi got offended.

They're talking about Hubert. I wish he was here. He's my best unit.

I wish Cornelia showed up. She's so fun, but sadly she did not.

They didn't find anything. Hapi was mostly chill about it. Edelgard and Lysithea were more bothered.

Shez could show concern or change the subject. Obviously I made him change the subject since SB!Shez is not intelligent.

CASPAR/LINHARDT PARALOGUE

Like the last time, I just plan to adjunct Caspar and let Shez and Linhardt do all the work.

They're arguing if Caspar saw a ghost or not. Linhardt remains unconvinced.

Lamo, their dads showed up and Linhardt's dad called him a "fountain of positivity" when he brought up their could die any day.

Linhardt is also upset that he has to help.

We're hunting down Empire people who've turned against Edelgard.

I had Shez not want to go lol.

The main battle changed to defeating their dads. I don't think I'm supposed to take this paralogue seriously.

Linhardt had no fun.

Bergliez gave Caspar some gaunlets, and I could either be happy for him or jealous. I obviously picked jealous since it's fun to pick the dick answer lol.

FINAL BATTLE

Why is the S rank reward Edelgard's axe? This is the last battle, right? Is there some post game stuff? Because I'm so ready for this to be done (I don't think I'll do it).

Funny, Edelgard is the one defending the monastery this time, and Varley. Imagine your final battle being about protecting Varley. Ugh.

Only 40 points for the final battle?

Just killed Catherine :(

Cyril just showed up. Rhea's so concerned. Not looking forward to killing a child :((( He died too. This is by far the bloodiest route. I swear no one even dies in AG, and in GW it's only Sylvain's dad.

This can't be it, right? That was too easy. And Cyril as the final boss makes no sense. I'm betting it's a Thales and Rhea fight.

Rhea turned into a dragon. Badass. Glad she was the final boss poper and not Thales.

Spoke too soon. I think they're both here now.

Think I beat it. We're at a cut scene now. Thales is doing magic shit. Rhea attacked him and just ignored Edelgard and Shez like they weren't worth her notice lol.

Wait, that's it?

Rhea pushes Thales off a cliff? So RHEA's the hero??

There's no way they could've survived that - Edelgard. My girl, Rhea is a fucking dragon and Thales can warp. I have bad news from you. Also, Byleth survived a fall too so . . .

What happened to Dimitri? I don't think I killed Claude either?

Is that really it? The war just keeps going. The war just keeps on with no end in sight. Hahahaha. You mean I played how many hours for THAT? I'm going to laugh my ass off if all 3 routes end like this. What a cheap way to avoid killing any of the lords.

OMG. What a stupid ending.

Except for Rhea. She got the big hero moment lol.

I kept waiting for another battle. Esp since there's an S rank reward that's Edelgard's axe, so Idk what's going on.

OMG, this is going to take FOREVER. They're showing the MVP of every single side battle and not just the main ones. I'm only at ch 6.

There was a lot more variety in MVP than I thought. I thought it would be the Hubert show, but it's pretty varied.

Ok, so around ch 10 turns into the Hubert show. I like seeing battle data though, so I sat through it.

Ok, so you get a letter from the person you get a whistle from. Aww, I eventually won Hubert's trust, and he admits he and the army needs us. Glad I picked him.

Wait, no paired endings? That blows. I hope this isn't a new trend since Engage didn't do that either (I love paired endings)

Ok, so it looks like some stuff would carry over to another playthrough on this file. So, in the future, I'd replay AG over my GW or SB playthrough to at least get 2 on the same one. I can't see myself replaying SB or GW. It's not like the story would matter since I could just skip it, but the gameplay is pretty much the same, so why not play the route with my favorites and the most unit choices on top of that?

So you can carry over supports and even unit level. So I could play Dimitri as the absurd level he's at in level one if I saved over my AG file? Because that would be funny. Probably boring. But funny.

Still feels good. One down. Two to go.

xxxx

[celestialsister0918]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Thanks for tagging me, @gammacousin!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either. (Copied and pasted)

Words and Fics

Word Count:

142,081

Fic Count:

6 started. 5 completed

Most Productive Month: February by far, thanks to Kinkuary!

Top Five by Hits

The One He Needs Right Now: Jim Gordon's Kinkuary: 5941

What I'm Thinking About (Sirius x Ginny): 3600

A Window Not Missed (Bruce x Nat): 2107

A Window Closed (Bruce x Nat): 1101

In the Sepulcher by the Sea (Sirius x Severus): 684

Top Five by Kudos

A Window Not Missed (Bruce x Nat): 96

What I'm Thinking About (Sirius x Ginny): 61

A Window Closed (Bruce x Nat): 47

In the Sepulcher by the Sea (Sirius x Severus): 32

The One He Needs Right Now: Jim Gordon's Kinkuary: 24

Fandom events:

Two @trulymadlydeeplyfest fests! 1 in February and 1 in October. Both Harry Potter. I'm so bad at knowing where all the fests are so those are my only two.

Upcoming Plans:

To Complete:

Finish "A Window Closed" (Bruce x Nat)

Start "A Window Opened" (Bruce x Nat)

Start "A Special Election" (Jim Gordon x NEW OC) - I have one chapter written and some dialogue prompts for chapter 2. I'm soooo excited for this one.

Other Ideas:

Continue one-off Sirius and other Gary Oldman character one-shots on Tumblr.

Write a Jackson Lamb piece

Maybe write a Kate Bishop x Yelena Belova one-shot if the mood strikes

Write another Gary Oldman RPF (many dialogue prompts already written). Here's my first Gary RPF if interested... it was set during the Dracula filming. The new one will be set after his divorce from Alex but before Gisele.

Reflection

I took a couple long breaks from writing this year. After finishing "Submissioner Gordon" in December of 2022, I was at a pretty bad low from lack of interaction with that fic. My heart has NEVER been in something as much as it was that fic, so to have so many hits and so little interaction made me think everyone hated it. Yet I continued the story with the Kinkuary prompts, where I wrote a short fic every day for 28 days. Again, I feel like it bombed.

At the same time, I made what I thought would be my last hurrah in the Harry Potter fandom, and it didn't do so great either. I was in a BAD spot comparing myself to other writers, so I took a long hiatus.

During that break, I started watching the entire MCU with my son, start to finish. My brain grabbed onto Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff and would NOT let go. So in May, I began publishing the "Never Say Never" series, where I try to fix their story.

The feedback from the Marvel fandom and Brutasha readers/writers really warmed my heart and got me back in the groove. I am forever thankful to them, because it truly restored my confidence in writing.

I will always be thankful for my Wizarding World series and the Submissioner Gordon/Daddy Issues universe, and my brain loves to revisit those stories and characters. It's just bittersweet because it never really found its audience. However the feedback I got from my foray into the MCU fandom has built my confidence enough that I am able to write in HP and Dark Knight without really worrying what others think. I am just doing it for me and my love for the characters. I know my writing isn't bad--- it's just not a lot of people's cup of tea.

I also want to give a shoutout to the small but steadfast Gary Oldman fandom I have found on Tumblr and Instagram. They've become very dear to my heart, and I love that we can share random thirst posts together when so many others just don't get it.

If anyone is reading this, please share your 2023 stats and reflections as well! I love writers supporting writers. Happy 2024 to you all!

[lurkdragonstuff]

It is 2022, and there is time for Potion Permit.

Maybe not, like. A lot of time. But enough.

In this twist on the farming sim genre, you are a chemist (read: alchemist) from the capital of a vaguely steampunk country, sent to the remote island of Moonbury as an olive branch to the community. Many years ago, chemists wreaked havoc on the island's flora, and the bad blood still lingers.

As the new local chemist, you spend your days gathering ingredients from the local flora and fauna for your potions so you can treat the townsfolk when they fall ill. The townspeople are pretty standard vaguely-steampunk folks, though out in the boonies and so more reliant on traditional trades than it's implied the big city folk are. Like any good farming sim, there's a dating sim element, too: some of the townsfolk are romancable.

It's all very cozy and reminiscent of the early days of a Stardew Valley game, where gathering wild resources provides a supplement to your farm as you get your feet under you.

Except...

Well, that really is all the game is built around. To explain, it's a very shallow experience compared to your Stardew Valley or your Harvest Moon/Story of Seasons. In particular, it really suffers from the lack of any real in-game calendar.

One of the big draws of these kinds of games - farming sims and close relatives - is the wish fulfillment of getting out into nature and feeling its rhythms. And on the nuts-and-bolts gameplay side of things, these kinds of games rely on the feeling of time passing and natural cycles to break up the monotony of the gameplay loop. For example: sure you might still be farming the same nine squares you tilled in spring, but it's autumn now and the harvest festival is around the corner, and after that will be winter so if you don't have a greenhouse you'd better be ready for mining.

Potion Permit does have an in-game week and the characters have schedules based on it, but there's no real sense of time passing. It doesn't have to be a four-seasons temperate climate or anything (the development team is the Indonesian MassHive Media, so a wet/dry season system would've been pretty cool) but without it, the game becomes an unending samey drone after a while. There are no festivals or birthdays to look forward to. Potion ingredients don't cycle. Hell, diseases don't cycle: characters just come down with random ailments that usually don't have anything to do with each other.

As for the townsfolk themselves, eh, they're fine. There were, I think, a few baffling decisions about who's romancable and who isn't (whyyyy is the farmer not romancable, his mother is even trying to get him hooked up with somebody), and I sense some amount of 'swing and a miss' with their handling of sensitive topics and mental health concerns. Still, it's a small indie team, and for me at least I can forgive it as a sincere effort with some rough edges.

That said, the relationship system is pared down compared to other games in the genre. No one has any favourites: everyone gets the same gift of the local tea, which you earn for treating patients and for completing relationship quests. The romances never advance past dating, either. And the event flags for the main quest and for relationships are completely decoupled: I dated my former rival and got his relationship to that point before doing a few endgame things, and this wasn't acknowledged At All. It does let you romance whoever you want regardless of gender, at least, and perhaps because of the shallow system you can date multiple characters without issue.

Speaking of the endgame, the game just kind of... peters out, storywise. Oh, there's a party when you Become The Local Hero, but it doesn't take any ingame time and you don't even rest after it. There isn't even a credits roll. You're just booted out of the party cutscene to outside of the tavern with the same ingame time as when you started.

For all my misgivings, though, I enjoyed most of my time with Potion Permit. I don't think I'll be buying it (I borrowed it from the library for my Switch), but it occupied the time and felt nice while it lasted. Not really recommended, but not really not recommended, either.