#so many more but i love these ones specifically | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mariasont · 1 day ago

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maria's fic recs

i have realized how most of these are smut & idk what that says about me but alas this are some super super amazing talented people who write crazy cool stories!!!! check them out!!!!! make sure to follow, reblog & comment on these fics if you like them!!! these incredible fic writers deserve it! i will also probably be adding more as i read follow my fic rec page for more @mariasficrecs if anyone mentioned in this post wants to be removed let me know <3

spencer reid

cedar - @parfaitblogs summary: in which compatible bodies does not always mean compatible minds, but spencer reid is all too kind when you're like this, so perhaps you're allowed to forget that for a night.

this is the fic for the girlies who have loved someone more than they should, more than they loved you back and more than was every healthy. this is the kind of fic that makes you reread certain lines just to punch yourself in the chest a second time. masterpiece in pining, delusion, and tragic devotion. the most gorgeous piece of writing truthfully

in my dream im fixing your crutch - @notlongtolove summary: most nights, spencer wakes to the sound of your sniffles—unlike most nights, he doesn’t have to ask why. the reason is visceral, tangible—staining the sheets when the wound dressing wasn’t tight enough, seeping and pooling right between the both of you where an ocean of your guilt already lies.

this and everythingggg p writes is so incredibly SHATTERING in the best way possible. i truly need everyone to follow rn! and reader everything written by them! but this one specifically wasn't just a fic it was an experience. it's so painful and beautiful and so unfairly written. the duality of intimacy and violence is insaneeeeee like shakespearean level.

into the rose garden; for evermore - @notlongtolove summary: months of hope, weeks of ache. you’ve stayed. you’ve waited. you’ve stayed in the waiting. more pathetic than poetic if you’re being honest. but now, with him standing here with his heart in his hands, it doesn’t feel simple.

might be my favorite fic ive ever read if im being honest. everything about it had me sobbing like a baby. it's not even angst at this point it's a biblical reckoning. p has made heartbreak into a single character, personified pain and i felt every freaking piece of it actually! every single line was freaking perfection & you get to choose your ending!!!!!!! because user notlongtolove is so cool and so creative.

i can do a lot with fifteen minutes - @reidrum summary: in which you and spencer don't make it out the door on date night

i love a sabrina reference (clearly) and this was just the perfect smut fic literally like poetry disguised as desire. i have read a lot of smut (u got me). but nothing compares to a good intimate zipper scene. i will eat it up everytime!!!!!!! and a mirror scene!!!!! double whammy. fantastic 10000/10

hypothalamus - @reidrum summary: in which spencer gets creative on helping you study for your exam

godddddds to have spencer reid talk nerdy to me in bed. so in character. essentially the anatomy lesson of the gods actually. so amazing

sobriquet - @siriuslylantsov summary: spencer reacts to you calling him a nickname for the first time.

so sweet, so fluffy, a love letter to everything good in the world, essentially love seeping into mundane which is my favorite genre!!!! waking up with spencer!! being in love!! angel!!!! i love spencer calling the reader angel girl!!!!! <3

sweeter - @siriuslylantsov summary: in which, you and spencer try out foodplay, through use of whipped cream.

whipped cream!!!!!!!!! i dont have many words other than that! must read

white noise - @brattyspence summary: spencer x reader -- a situationship defined by white noise; a metaphor for how we pacify ourselves and make stupid decisions to experience comfort, even when it hurts

visceral, soul-shattering, gut wrenching agony. that's about it. slow burn destruction that will have you crying. no doubt. this fic literally lulls you into a false sense of security and then u realize that spencer is white noise and that you'd rather have whatever this is than nothing at all. LOL! definitely did not almost kill me while reading. most accurate portrayal of a situationship

chateau lobby #4 - @burymagdalene summary: Whilst trying to navigate romantic relationships after prison, Spencer finds himself in love and caught in an all-too-serious non-relationship with reader. Wanting to break this streak, he asks to spend Valentine's Day properly with a real date. Afterward, they find themselves desperate with trying to express their love for each other.

so as you might be able to tell i have a pattern of reading situationship spence! call me a masochist! but this one had a happy ending okay!!!!!!!! and a reference to father john misty? yes. immediately. i also just love post prison reid because he's so complicated and different but still him and he doesnt think he deserves soft things and soft love and it's so devastating. reading the date literally felt like falling in love in real time. so good.

a closed mouth doesn't get fed - @burymagdalene summary: When reader notices Spencers dark circles and glossy eyes, they store away their pressing need for him in bed. This desire locked away forms into a wet dream that escalates their prior expectations substantially.

one of the best portrayals of sleep-deprived, love-drunk, desperate sex. that's it. that's the tweet. also when he switches the reader's straw like why was that so sweet to me im crying

xoxo - @pathologicalreid summary: in which your daughter goes to the BAU to hand out her extra Valentines

peak domesticity. i love girl dad spence so much it's not even funny. it's everything he deserves. like i can only hope in some alternate au this is the ending reid got <3

to talk is to bare - @esote-rika summary: three times you've never felt enough for Spencer Reid—and the three times he rectified it immediately

one of the most painfully real depiction of navigating self worth in a relationship with spencer. like exactly what i feel like it would be like to be with someone so brilliant and like so unattainable-seeming, while feeling ordinary and yet spencer makes the reader feel so special ugh

in infinite universes - @nereidprinc3ss summary: in which spencer reid picks up uni!reader from a party. you're drunk, and he's in love with you

there is not a single thing (cannot emphasize this enough) that i won't read from nereidprinc3ss okay? everything she writes is actually literary gold. but this one was so beautiful it almost hurts to reid because it's literally a love letter to inevitability!!!!! and the dialogue is so funny and flirty and so spencer and ugh it's so raw and real.

spencer reid & aaron hotchner

unknown territory - @minswriting Spencer walks in on Aaron going down on you. So he watches the two of you have sex.

had to take multiple breathers after reading this! everyone knows i love hotch and reid and even more so i loveeeee a why choose. also everything min writes is so hot, 10/10 recommend checking out her account. "reid, if you're going to stand there and watch, you can at least come in and close the door" hello????????? immediately yes.

aaron hotchner

crazy - @kimstills summary: after one heated and spontaneous night together, aaron can’t seem to get his pretty subordinate (or her pussy) out of his head.

i did in fact read this bad boy like three times because it's that good. it perfectly mirrors hotch's mental state which i love love love. and i just love a smutty fic that has the best escalation of tension, like it builds until hotch physically cannot take it anymore and shewwwww so hot. exactly what i want in a hotch smut fic

savor - @kimstills summary: after being compromised to working a case the next day, aaron decides on savoring your current moment together for when he’s gone.

maddie is just always going to make the hottest aaron hotchner smut. the fact that this idea comes to aaron mid fuck is wild and i love it LOL.

morphine - @luveline summary: you get a good dose, confess your affections, and leave poor, oblivious hotch to fix things up neatly.

so if you follow my fic rec blog you know i literally reblog absolutely everything jade writes because it is just that fantastic. and this one is just soooo tender and so perfectly in character with hotch. if you are looking for truly amazing characterizations of hotch and reid !!!!! right here besties !!!!

filthy flat-pack thoughts - @alinathinkstoomuch summary: you had taken the day off to get yourself settled into your new apartment, not expecting hotch to show up at your door and offer a hand.

hey so firstly im just obsessed with the title, idk why it scratches something in my brain. and i feel like this fic should be illegal because it's not just smut-adjacent, it's foreplay with no touching, sexual frustration in furniture assembly and poor decisions lolol and again everyone who knows me knows i eat upppppp sexual tension and this fic was just that. there is literally no kisses no sex nothing and it's still one of the hottest fics i've ever read (there is also a smutty part two so go check that out as well)

can't lose when i'm with you - @aureatelys summary: You work as a beverage cart girl at your local country club and your dad ropes you in to make him look good during a business meeting with his new best friend.

dbf hotch is my weakness. the slow burn!!!!!! possessive hotch!!! daddy hotch!!!! this is the gold standard for dbf hotch truly. felt like i needed a cigarette after and i don't even smoke

red light kiss - @aureatelys summary: You haven't had sex in a week, you're stuck in the car with your new boyfriend/boss, and he's wearing that damn Kevlar vest. How could you resist?

hey yeah so i was positively feral after reading this actually. that damn kevlar vest is right. idk how you managed to make a blowjob in a government vehicle feel romantic but you did so bravo

tyrant - @solardrop summary: Hotch lets you take some anger out on him after he disrespects you on a case.

my favorite genre !!!!!!! making hotch shut up by sitting on his face! mhm mhm mhm. absolutely amazing use of free will was you writing this because i've read it at least 5 times minimum. i was forever changed after this

salt & pepper - @dudeitiskarev summary: dad bod and insecure Hotch. That’s it.

everything cat writes is just so crazy good but everyone knows i have such a weakness for dad bod hotch & this is the absolute perfect fic for it.

we can't be friends (wait for your love) - @cerisereids summary: down on your luck after a huge betrayal, you return to live at your father's house with your tail between your legs. you're humiliated, thoroughly convinced nothing good could come from returning home. then you meet aaron hotchner.

there are three parts to this masterpiece and i need everyone to read them all okay? because it's just so good. hotch flustered is my roman empire and grrrrrr this man was literally on his knees for the reader internally through out the whole thing & once again dbf!hotch!!!!! arghhh obsessed

#aaron hotchner x reader #spencer reid x reader

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lackadaisycats · 1 day ago

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Hello Tracy, I've been a fan of Lackadaisy since the webcomic days and want to ask a quick question regarding Patreon. I'm also an indie creative myself and currently trying to raise funds for a show I'm working on. What are the best ways to market myself online, and what are some ways to obtain money for the production of merchandise that doesn't involve crowdfunding?

Any specific advice I could give about marketing oneself online at this point would be pretty outdated. I started making Lackadaisy years back, when the internet had a rather different geography and culture. DeviantArt was where all the art kids were. That is, of course, no longer the case.

My generalized advice, though, would be to start working on your project, start sharing it in some form, even if it's just concept art or experiments at this phase, and start building an audience. Nothing speaks to the quality and appeal of whatever it is you're making like the thing itself does. Pick your poisons, as far as social media goes, but probably don't focus solely on one. Platforms don't remain useful or pleasant places to be forever. Set up an avenue for viewers to support you (Patreon, Ko-fi, or something like it), but don't expect supporters to come flooding in all at once. The internet is awash with so many creators and shows and influencers and distractions, it's hard to make waves. Tenacity will be your ally, though. You are likely going to be pursuing your project on the side and possibly working at a loss for a while as you build. Keep things small scale, especially if you're working solo, or with a small team of people. Audience growth and support may eventually start allowing you to expand your ambitions. It's important to do the thing you're doing out of love for the art, for the project itself, for the experience of doing it, and not because you're expecting rounds of applause, accolades, and money to come rushing at you. There's no guarantee that last part will happen...so at least make sure you're having fun doing whatever you're doing.

----------------

About merchandise --

You can incur the upfront cost of producing, say, a small run of enamel pins. Sell them on your own shop storefront or offer them to supporters at certain tier levels and see how long it takes to earn back the production cost such that you start earning a little bit of profit. Get a feel for how well you can handle packaging and shipping things yourself. Test the waters before making any large merch orders, and don't order vast amounts of something that you don't have room to 'warehouse' in your own home.

You can go the print on demand route. It's got its drawbacks - like slim returns - but it allows you to offer an assortment of merch items without the huge risk of paying big manufacturing fees upfront. It can also do the fulfillment/shipping part for you. I did pretty okay selling prints this way for a time. (Research and be selective about what services you use here, though. Some have gotten markedly worse over the years.)

I know Patreon offers a subscription level for creators that includes some merch production and fulfillment. I haven't personally used it, though, so I'd ask around to see what other creators' experiences have been like with it.

One thing I would suggest relying more heavily on, especially at first, is digital/downloadable rewards, like PDF ebooks or digital sketchbooks - things like that. Shipping supplies and postage costs are ever-increasing and can easily end up putting you in the red. Also, if you have an international audience, it may be difficult to reach them with tangible merch items.

You might also check out some nearby conventions to see if they'd be a good fit for you and your project. Apply for artist alley space at one of them if that's appropriate, or investigate whether or not it'd be worth it to get a dealer table. You might even find someone willing to share dealer space with you for a trial-run.

At some point, when you have enough of an audience to warrant it, seek out a merch partner. Or, they might come scouting for you if they think you have something going that'd be soundly marketable.

#lackadaisy #lackadaisycats #q&a #merch #marketing #advice

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orphee-aux-enfers · 2 days ago

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@miggyluv your post is singlehandedly helping combat the last 510 and a bit days.

Non obligatory ramble under the cut but in short form: thank you so much for giving me a little bit of faith back in humanity.

My spouse is a UK citizen. I have lived about half of my life here via various set-ups. I l love the UK and thought it was my favourite place I'd ever lived, though I've yet to actually meet residency requirements due to visa types/tiers.

My current visa started 01 October 2023. Due to the holidays, we delayed our return from visiting family back to the UK, after a few months, away until 13 October 2023. Then 7 October happened. We were afraid to fly but needed to return or I'd forfeit my visa.

Arriving in the country was tragic in many ways. It was my spouse and I, and a bunch of shell-shocked, visibly Jewish people swamping Heathrow. We all looked so downtrodden, even the children who were the only people to smile at my spouse and I (other than a very excited border control agent who had never personally seen my current visa). Adults were trying to pretend that if we all just ignored each other we'd be less noticeable. I think it just made us all more miserable.

But, we arrived back in a place we'd called home for a While, sad, grieving, but we at first saw a lot of support for both sides initially -- and then it shifted. And since late October 2023, has ramped up, including our synagogue being regularly vandalised and protested. We no longer attend due to risk.

We lost most friends in January 2024 when we finally broached the subject with them and received that we were "far right" for supporting both an Israeli and a Palestinian state (aka a two state solution, historically something considered moderate). We've moved to a new town now, to escape the weekly to daily protests which could become at times quite hostile and now have escalated to full Holocaust inversion on a daily basis.

In our new flat, we've switched to DVDs and officially do not pay for a licence which funds the BBC, because of the most recent issues. I personally am bereft about this as the BBC was how I was taught to read the news, as a reliable global news source to compare back to. I don't trust them for anything, not now. So hearing it from you, too, not just other Jews? Revolutionary to my world view. I'm so sorry it comes with what Jews face for questioning the BBC for you as well. It isn't easy, and especially when it's your family, it's especially difficult. I think for me this makes your post all the more meaningful.

I was genuinely beginning to think no one would grow positively, only negatively, on this issue. I've experienced even British Jews refuse to engage with us because we are Mizrahi to them (though we're a mix due to a mix of heritage), and Mizrahi means Israeli to specifically young British Jews, and this is, to a small amount of them, apparently the most heinous evil.

Your attitude seems rare, or is rare in my life, and it is so, so meaningful to see. So, this is all to say, genuinely thank you for giving me this little bit of faith back. I had lost it, and I have needed it desperately, especially in the last few days.

I stopped wearing my Star of David. You've inspired me to try again in our new town. Thank you for that, too.

The moment for thinking “what would I have done in Germany before and during Hitler’s reign” is over. Look back over the past two years. What did you do? What did you think and feel?

Did your opinion about Jews change?

If you went from supporting all Jews to thinking that a least some Jews, (namely “Zionists” or “Israelis”) deserve suffering, exile, and/or death, then you fell for modern antisemitic propaganda, and you would’ve fallen for it in Nazi Germany, too.

Maybe you would blink if the police today started rounding up the Jews in your neighborhood, or smashing synagogues, or arresting Jews off the streets. But would you feel better about it if they call them Zionists or Israelis? They’re not arresting “good Jews”, they’re arresting Zionists, to make them pay for their crimes.

It’s not too late to fix that, though. You can come back from being sucked into antisemitism. You can do better going forward.

#genuinely just. thank you.#long post #uk

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ryebread0605 · 2 days ago

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Hii! Hope you're doing great.

Can you do dorm leaders of twisted wonderland with a mute or blind reader? ( male reader)

It's okay if not and thanks! (✿❛◡❛)

This is a very fun one to do cuz I love to see disability rep in fanfics (especially as a disabled person!) I hope you don’t mind that I did deaf and blind!

Riddle:

he just thinks you’re ignoring him at first when he yells at you to go to specific areas you don’t know, which leads to many instances of the collar being put on you

He gets curious when he sees deuce leading you around everywhere

Started to get suspicious when he found out you do all your essays and readings through the computer

Yeah he’s not the type to figure out you are blind on his own

Finally comes to a head as you’re painting the roses, he comes behind you and goes “NO THOSE ARE BLUE NOT RED! WHAT, ARE YOU BLIND OR SOMETHING?”

Awkward silence begins and it finally clicks

Poor boy is apologetic beyond belief and will do anything in his power to make up for it

Goes out of his way to make sure every single corner in the heartslabyul form has a cushion against it so you won’t hurt yourself

“I’m so sorry (name) I promise I didn’t know. Please, if there’s any way we can accommodate you more, let myself or Trey know!”

Leona:

at first, he sees you as weak, an easy target

Until he tries to sneak up on you and get an elbow straight to the gut

He can tell right away that you don’t let being blind hold you back and DAMN does he respect it

Jack is given the duty of being your eyes, seeing as you have numeral classes together and are both freshmen

He adds a detail to spelldrive so you can play, making it so the disc beeps when it’s close to you so you can catch it

He will never admit that his instincts are telling him to take the small weak cub under his wing

“Look, in this dorm it’s survival of the fittest. If you’ve spent this long at NRC without being taken out by a dumbass, you got what it takes to be part of the dorm”

Azul:

because of the Sea Witch stories, it became mandatory for all merfolk to learn some version of sign language

He can easily spot you are deaf and tries to strike up a deal first, only he mixes it up in his mind and signs ‘date’ instead

Both of you are blushing messes but why not?

You help to properly teach him and the tweels proper sign language and in return you now have 3 powerful and influential men there to protect you at any time

“I must ask, do you think it would be a fruitful venture to hold a paid for sign language class? Of course the proceeds would go to a charity! That charity being getting you those hearing aids you’ve been wanting”

Kalim:

Is very confused as you don’t seem to hear him at all, making him practically yell

Jamil has to be the one to tell him that you could just be deaf

This mans is FLUENT in sign and will have the best gossip to tell you that only you two can hear

Jamil is happy cuz it keeps him out of trouble and keeps the dorm quiet

Until Kalim realizes he can raise the music so you can feel the bass

“Isn’t this awesome! I knew you’d love this song! Everyone deserves the chance to party in Scarabia!”

Vil:

he has worked with plenty of people so it’s no surprise he knows how to sign

During the SDC, he makes sure you have a seat closest to the speakers so you can feel the vibrations the best

Offers several times to make you a hearing potion but accepts that it is a part of you that you wish to keep

ASL is now mandatory to learn in the Pomefiore dorm (with permission from Crowley who sees this as an opportunity to show how inclusive his school is)

“(Name) how does this seat work for you? Is it close enough to the speaker? Or would you rather have an interpreter? Just let me know potato”

Idia:

it makes him feel so relaxed to know you can’t see him

You enjoy video games AND you can’t clock his looks? Hell yes

He’s ringing up STYX right away to sent a Cerberus unit as a guide dog for you

If you are up to it, he would love to make cyber eyes for you to give you sight back

Gets super excited hanging out with you and lets himself be himself because in his eyes you can’t see him so you don’t judge him

“-and yeah! He should be all set up for your fingerprint id! If any problems happen, like normies trying to get in your way, he has an op defense mode”

Malleus:

by FAR the most protective of you

Since you can’t see, he worries others will take advantage of that and he is NOT having that

He is your person guard dragon and will follow you around everywhere

Has set up his nest in Diasomnia (because I like the idea that he keeps dragon instincts like nesting and hoarding) to include a tactile pathway to both the bathroom and door so you have more sense of freedom

If he can’t guard you, Lilia will. Lilia is a lot more ferocious in his guarding as he had blind soldiers when he was a general

“Child of man, if you need anything, money is no problem. I could get you set up with working eyes if you would like. But if you prefer how you are, that’s alright too”

#disney twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x male reader #twisted wonderland x fem reader #leona kingscholar #malleus draconia #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #riddle rosehearts #twst fluff

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iamespecter · 3 days ago

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My phone's battery keeps dying (I think something's wrong with it) but I cooked a little bit more on this Doctor!Caine and Patient!Pomni idea.... and this may or may not become bigger than The Amazing Digital Roadtrip.....

My mental illness cannot be contained!!!!!!!!!!!! Also these designs are subject to change because yes ✌️

Things I've come up with last afternoon while going crazy from the lack of dopamine are:

- Abstraction is currently determined to be a terminal illness

- It's contagious via skin-on-skin contact, and can be inherited through genes

- it can even bloom late in life, but that doesn't mean everyone that the patient has touched before is immediately affected

- The physical symptoms are inky black "cracks" forming along the skin, physical degradation, loss of saturation and many more

- Depending on a lot of factors, this illness can be aggressive, or at most be dormant.

- Once it reaches the patient's brain, it is too late

- But the progress of abstraction can also be delayed through amputation, depending on where the "source" is

- It only really affects "organic" stuff

- Which means AI robots are immune, and can touch the patient as much as they want without risk of infecting themselves

- Kinger is the CEO/Founder of the AI Association that focuses on the research about Abstraction, and how to cure it

- He is also, strangely enough, kinda immune? idek he seems fine except he's a bit cuckoo

- Because of it's contagiousness, people who suffer from the abstraction illness are GREATLY FEARED by others

- People who have the illness have to wear a lot of protection (such as gloves, face mask, etc.) in order to even interact with the outside world

- They also need to have their AI Doctor/Nurse with them AT ALL TIMES.

About the main pairing:

- Pomni is the only daughter of Kinger and the late Queenie

- She used to be more upbeat early in her life, until Queenie passed. She then became depressed, and it only got worse as her illness began to show and she became cynical as a result, believing she'll die early, and alone

- Caine was named and created based off of the image of Pomni's imaginary friend during her childhood, in order to ease her into accepting Caine as her personal doctor

- This did NOT, in fact, ease her into accepting Caine as her personal doctor because what the fuck.

- Pomni hates AIs for being unable to save Queenie.

- She also thinks that her new doctor won’t be able to save her, and that her dad’s efforts to delay her situation are fruitless.

- Part of her still clings onto hope. However, said part is also dying.

- Caine is a test prototype of a model that’s supposed to handle (and even possibly cure) the symptoms of abstraction, so there’s defo a lotta pressure on his shoulders

- Especially when he gets assigned to SPECIFICALLY THE DAUGHTER OF THE CEO WHO OWNS HIM

- He’s also one of the first AIs to not only be psuedo-sentient, but also self-evolving; in order to be able to adjust to patient needs and wants.

- He can “manifest” anything physical as long as it’s within the size limit of his own physical manifestation. For example, if Pomni is hyperventilating; he can manifest a pair of artificial lungs that pump oxygen in order to give her breathing space. (You know what that means)

- Not only is he able to float, he is also able to carry Pomni like she weighs like a couple of grapes because this is not me being self-indulgent and thinking he should carry her bridal style all the time (lie), this is me saying “it’s for emergencies when Pomni is too weak to even stand or walk”

- Pomni hated Caine A LOT at first because she hated having to be co-dependent on this walking life support so yes this is an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers kinda story (except it was one-sided "enemies")

- As the story progresses, Pomni clings onto the hope of not just surviving, but also living again; as Caine learns what it means to be not just existing, but alive!!! because me and my homies love stories about positivity and hope amongst shitty situations!!!!

- And then they fuck. Oh yes, they fuck eventually. And they fuck a lot after that

I don’t care this is MY story, MY AU, I will do whatever the fuck I want!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAA

I have no idea if I want some of the gang to be AI Doctors/Nurses too but erm. we'll see

#ziku's insane rambles #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc au #pomni #caine #caine x pomni #pomni x caine #showtime shipping #showtime ship #showtime #The Preposterous Digital Lifeline AU #Lifeline AU #Lifeline Pomni #Lifeline Caine #Yes I'm nicknaming this AU “Lifeline” because FUCK IT WE BALLLLLLLLL #some suggestive stuff #so ummmmm #yeah

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mylovesstuffs · 2 days ago

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OT13 reacting to their pregnant s/o asking them to shave your, "down there"

Request: hi pookie!! i love love LOVE your content and I wanted to ask if please could do "seventeen reacting to you (their pregnant wife) asking them to shave you downstairs" if you know what I mean😔 many women say they have a problem with getting there bc their belly is in the way so if you could do that or something similar that would be amazing!!! thank you so much already!!

Immediately Says Yes, No Hesitation — Seungcheol, Joshua, Wonwoo, Dokyeom, Mingyu, Dino

Drops whatever they’re doing. “Oh, you need help? Say no more.”

Zero embarrassment. Zero teasing. They treat this like it’s the most normal thing in the world because you are their wife and this is their baby you’re carrying.

Mingyu & Dokyeom: Concentrating like it’s brain surgery. Expect encouraging words. “You’re doing great, babe. Just stay still.”

Seungcheol & Wonwoo: Silent, focused, in deep concentration. Wonwoo might even say, “This is a privilege,” lol.

Joshua & Dino: Surprisingly calm. They will ask for specific instructions and double-check before doing anything. "Like this? Okay. Tell me if I need to slow down."

10/10 best husbands, they don’t make it weird at all.

A Little Flustered But Still Does It Wel l— Jeonghan, Hoshi, Woozi, Vernon

Jeonghan: Smirks immediately. “Oh? You want me to do it?” Acts like he’s about to tease you but then gets serious and does it perfectly.

Hoshi: SCREAMS FIRST, THEN HELPS. “YOU WANT ME TO—” GASPS But then suddenly he’s like, “Wait, I’m actually kind of good at this??”

Woozi: Almost chokes on air. “YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT—” Blushing SO hard. But he’s so so careful and treats you so delicately.

Vernon: Blink. Blink. “Huh…I’ve never done this before.” Extremely focused, takes his time. Might make casual conversation while doing it cause it’s no big deal.

They’ll be shy for five minutes, but then they’re surprisingly good at it.

Acts Like They’re Suffering But Secretly Loves Helping You (Being dramatic but is actually a sweetheart) — Seungkwan, Jun, Minghao

Seungkwan: Fake gasps. “WHAT? ME?? SHAVE—” dramatically puts a hand on his forehead. Acts like he’s being sent to war.

Jun: “Ohhh…” Acts cocky but is so gentle while doing it.

Minghao: Squints at you like you just asked him for his kidney. “You really trust me with this?” (He’s honored but hiding it.)

They’re going to tease you, but they’re also going to do it perfectly.

Extra

Every single one of them will be SO SOFT about this. They know it must have been awkward to ask, so they go out of their way to make you comfortable.

Expect massages, kisses, and “I love you”s afterward. They genuinely don’t mind doing this for you at all.

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sometimesanalice · 5 hours ago

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Morgannn!! 💖 oh I’m so, so happy you liked this! Fluffy, fun, and flirty vibes for days!

I’m so happy that it was something that made you smile! 🥰🥰

More for you!!

Oh, this was absolutely delightful and fun and exactly what I needed after this week! I broke into giggles and a smile more times than I could count! I love everything you write, but sometimes you pop off with the best little details and phrasings and it's such a joy to read your writing!—🥹🥹🥹

And while the sure to be terrible, no good, horribly bad idea hadn’t been yours, you weren’t entirely sure what you were thinking when you’d even agreed to it in the first place.

Quite literally the vibe for modern dating, and especially with how many men always forget Feb 14th is a holiday!!!!!— I just imagined her being like “are you sure??” like five times and this guy being like “it’s a Wednesday like yeah”. But truly, the amount of me not utilizing the notifications on their built in calendar is a CRIME. But especially on international hearts day!

And well, if your date didn’t appreciate it, then that was a him problem.

Men don't appreciate good fashion. That's why we dress for the group chat and ourselves!— the girlies(gn) just want to look and feel cute! But also, you know that group chat was popping off with the🔥 emoji, lol

But chances are if your date is here then he has already seen you. A bright beacon of pink amongst varying shades of brown and woodgrain.

This visual this gave me! A beacon of pink! Get her a drink!— goodness knows miss ma’am needs one! She was just trying to go with the flow and have fun! But I loved trying to find ways to highlight just how out of place she was there, not only like with how she felt but also the setting!

“You look like you’re in need of a date,” a warm, raspy voice offers.

STOP, THIS GOT ME!— I MEAN CAN YOU IMAGINEEEEE

An amused laugh escapes you. “Are we ranking mustaches now? Because if that’s the case, I’m sorry to say that I’d have to give it to Selleck.”

Snaps for Selleck mention.— the OG mustache man!

Oh.

AN ITALICIZED OH, SO YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD!!!— ITALICIZED OH SUPREMACY!! (Also I’m so endlessly tickled by the amount of support the italicized oh has gotten 😂 I know I posted about it specifically, but I love how much love we all have for those two little letters!)

You watch stunned as he saunters away, admiring the way the light wash jeans he’s wearing form to his long legs, before taking a moment to send a string of words punctuated with more than a few exclamation points to the group chat.

This was entirely too relatable. Those jeans are too slutty and the group chat must know! (nothing wrong with taking a lil pic either 🤫) — I was so obsessed with the idea of her being like “you guys won’t believe what happened” and her phone just blowing up the other night of her best babes wanting allll the tea! You know the brunch talk is going to be popping! (But the slutty beans and that cock walks are a lethal combo!!)

The two are pretty well matched in skill, you observe with keen eyes, as the balls skate across the Top Gun insignia, against the rails, and into pockets.

This whole pool scene was so fun! You captured Jake and Bradley's game with so much descriptive detail, it made me want to watch the movie again! Jake would absolutely get hustled, that man has too much ego to not get played.— ahhhh!! This is the best thing you could have said because Morgan I know nothing about pool lmaooooo 😂 I was reading as much as I could and snooping on r/billiards to figure out what was going on hahaha! All the while cursing myself for deciding her ace needed to be her sneaky pool shark skills. He would SO get played, he wouldn’t be able to help himself!

In that moment you are Midas touched, the blood thrumming through your veins feels like liquid gold.

This is quite literally one of my favourite ways a kiss has been described. So visual, yet you can feel it. It's going to be rolling through my brain for a bit, I love it!— stopppp!!!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 there’s always so much pressure to try and get a first kiss right, so that makes me so happy that it landed well with you!! 🫶🏻

For the Plot

Summary: Things aren't looking too good for you, sitting alone at the Hard Deck waiting for a man who might not show. Until Bradley Bradshaw sits down across from you and turns your entire night upside down.

Pairing: Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x Reader

Length: 7.7k

Warnings: fluff, so much flirting, and an italicized oh

Going on a first date on Valentine’s Day is unarguably the worst possible idea that anyone has ever had.And while the sure to be terrible, no good, horribly bad idea hadn’t been yours, you weren’t entirely sure what you were thinking when you’d even agreed to it in the first place.

The guy you were planning to meet tonight was cute enough, even if you were still undecided about the mustache. And while the chats between the two of you had been pretty good as far as it goes getting to know a literal stranger, you were hopeful that it could be even better in person. The fact he was in the Navy was still a bit of a consideration for you, but not a deal breaker.

In retrospect, the name of the bar should have been your first clue and the location paired with the causal beachy exterior covered in planes should have been the second.

You had been expecting to see more than one girl all done up in pinks and reds tonight, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. And you swear to god, somewhere you hear a record scratch as you step into the Hard Deck, because you are surrounded by nothing but a sea of olive green and khaki and denim.

And you have never been so clearly out of place in your entire life.

There was nothing about your ensemble that was even remotely fitting for the literal Navy bar you’d found yourself in.

The ice pink mini slip dress you’d dug out of your closet was admittedly a little much for a first date, but since it was Valentine’s Day you figured why not lean into it a bit. And well, if your date didn’t appreciate it, then that was a him problem.

Or so you’d thought at the time, because now it was a decidedly you problem.

The silhouette was simple enough, with the gentle drape of the cowl neck and the barely-there spaghetti straps, but the shiny sheen of the fabric made a statement of its own. It wasn’t something you got to wear very often for as much as you loved it.

But then you’d gone ahead and paired it with the tallest, most ostentation heels you had. The effort had been worth it though because the pearl encrusted block heels made your legs look like they went on for days. Even if it had been a feat trying to get the dainty buckle done with the way you’d been rushing out of the house with your beaded bag in tow.

The whole look was something you’d sure would come with Cher Horowitz’s seal of approval. However, the patrons of the Hard Deck you were less sure about. And even though there were civilians- like yourself- scattered about the bar, none were anywhere near as dressed up as you.

There are more than a few pairs of eyes on you as you stand there with your feet glued to the uneven wooden floors, as the door with its porthole-shaped window slowly closes behind you with a squeaky creak. The twinkle lights above your head felt more like a spotlight, illuminating how out of place you are in this moment.

Your hand is still clutched on the handle unsure whether you’re going to make a run for it or not. You are more than a little tempted to hightail it back to the parking lot and text your date to claim a bout of food poisoning from the safety of the driver’s seat in your car.

But chances are if your date is here then he has already seen you. A bright beacon of pink amongst varying shades of brown and woodgrain.

“Oh my god,” you mutter under your breath, trying not to panic. Officially a victim of your own bad decision making.

You take a quick scan of the room, trying to decide what your next move should be. There’s a woman behind the bar with kind but clearly inquisitive eyes. A blonde with a wolfish smile eyes you from where he stands next to a man with broad shoulders bent over what must be the pool table, hidden behind the paneled half wall. By a dart board, there are a couple men with their heads turned towards you, the game seemingly forgotten as they discuss the spectacle that is you.

There are hundreds of planes dangling over the bar, patches and plaques littering the walls and rafters, rounders suspended from the ceiling laden with too many ceramic mugs to count. It was all done with a heavy-handed, maximalistic approach that you’d take a moment to appreciate under any other given circumstances.

When you spot an open table tucked away in the corner of the room it feels like life raft to the iceberg of a situation you’ve put yourself in. Mindful of the scuffed, uneven floors- because the last thing you need is to eat shit or twist an ankle in front of room full of curious onlookers- you hustle over to the spot in hopes of having a moment to regroup.

Once you’re situated- shrugging off the ivory cardigan you’d topped your outfit, trying to keep the nervous sweat that wanted to break out over your body at bay- you pull out your phone and check the time only to realize you’re devastatingly on time. Five minutes early, to be specific.

So you wait.

And check your phone again and the notifications in the dating app, just in case you missed something.

And wait.

You try to play it cool, skimming posts on Instagram and replying to some overdue texts. Finding anything you can to keep yourself occupied to ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach the longer you sit there. Alone.

Now you’re not just simply embarrassed, you’re mortified.

You can still feel the eyes, the energy steadily shifting from curiosity to sympathy over the last thirty minutes you’ve been waiting all alone in the corner of a Navy bar you had no business being in for a man who clearly wasn’t going to show.

So much for doing it for the plot, you think to yourself with a shake of your head.

Another minute ticks by with no message and you decide you’re more than ready to hightail it out of there. Fully aware that you’re about to become a topic of conversation that won’t have to be restricted to only covert glances and muffled whispers. But hopefully, they’ll at least wait until the door closes behind you before the chatter starts up for real.

With a sigh, you reach for your beaded bag, just as a large body slips into the chair across from you, with an ease that is in contrast to the bulk of muscles you catch in your peripheral vision.

“You look like you’re in need of a date,” a warm, raspy voice offers.

It’s the smile that you catch first. Not quite a grin, but something familiar and friendly and charming in the way it crookedly pulled to the left. Followed closely by the rich chocolate brown eyes that were squarely trained on you with a look that was just as earnest as it was playful. But what surprised you the most was the way he was sitting in the stool across from you just as comfortably as if he was supposed to be there all along.

There was no way you could have prepared yourself for the sheer level of attractiveness of this man.

He was in a league of his own with those curls and wide shoulders. The white and olive green stripped crochet shirt he was wearing didn’t hurt either, especially the way the top buttons were undone giving you glimpse of a chain around his neck and the chest underneath it. He didn’t need to be in uniform- or even in a Navy bar- for you to tell he was a military man. Not with the confident way he held himself.

Even if the mustache he was sporting made it feel like the universe was playing tricks on you, but he more than wore it well.

You huff out a self-deprecating laugh. “What gave it away?” you ask. “The way I’ve been watching the door? Or just the general look of regret and embarrassment?”

“Embarrassed? What do you have to be embarrassed about?” His eyebrows pull together, perplexed. He shakes his head like he disagrees with even the suggestion of it. “I think the only person who should be embarrassed is the guy who is missing out on sitting across from you right now.”

You give him a soft smile of your own in return for the cinnamon sweet words. There’s a genuineness in his tone that makes some of the tightness that had settled in your shoulders from the moment you’d walked in release.

“That’s kind of you, but I think I’m going to head out,” you say, nodding to the door you never should have stepped through in the first place.

He gives you a teasing tsk. “And let a dress like that go to waste? Now that would be a shame.”

The appreciative look in his gaze that sets off a swarm of butterflies in your stomach. And then his eyebrow ticks up, just a little. Part invitation, part dare. And you can’t say you’re not intrigued.

There’s a decision to make.

You could leave now and cut your losses. There was a reason you had a back-up pizza in the fridge and had left you well-loved copy of You’ve Got Mail sitting out on your coffee table.

Or you could stick around and see what happens next.

You tilt your head at him, just as teasing. “Would it now?”

“It would,” he states, sincerely.

Before you can reply, your phone lights up with a new notification, pulling you out of the whisky haze you’d found yourself in.

His eyes dip down to your illuminated screen. “Is that him?”

“It is,” you confirm, almost regretfully. You open the app and skim the message. And then read it again.

There’s no sorry, no apology for cancelling a half an hour after the time for the date that had been his idea in the first place. And then he’d even had the audacity to tack on a cavalier maybe another time at the end.

Unbelievable.

He lets out a low whistle. “That bad, huh?”

“Apparently, I should have been the one to remind him that the fourteenth of February is a calendar holiday and a fan favorite day of the greeting card companies.” It’s so ridiculous you’d laugh if you weren’t so annoyed by the lack of consideration and the not-so-subtle blame he’d tried to shift on you. “Even though I did double check if he was sure about meeting up today, I guess I didn’t realize I actually needed to spell out ‘Valentine’s Day’ for him.”

The man across from you doesn’t bother holding back the less than impressed look on his face. And you decide you like that about him, that he wears his thoughts so openly. It’s refreshing.

“Do you mind if I take a look at his profile?”

You shrug and pass your phone over. You were planning on blocking West the second you had a moment anyways. You see him roll his eyes and guess it has something to do with the amount of shirtless gym selfies.

He snorts as he scrolls, “Please, his mustache has nothing on mine.”

An amused laugh escapes you. “Are we ranking mustaches now? Because if that’s the case, I’m sorry to say that I’d have to give it to Selleck.”

“Fair enough,” he concedes good-naturedly, as he hands you back your phone. “But am I at least a close second?” There’s no mistaking the flirtatious tone in his voice.

You hum and take full advantage of the opportunity to look at him unabashedly, mapping the contours of his face because you can.

To simply call him handsome would be an understatement.

The way the golden light of the sunset is hitting him you catch some sunkissed strands in those soft looking waves of his hair. There’s the beginning of some crinkles around the edges of his eyes. You notice the scars on his face, some that look long healed and others that are still a light pink- like the one on the side of his neck and beneath is ear. And that mustache on him worked for you, one hundred percent.

There’s a playful glint in his eyes as he lets you assess him that leaves no question as to whether or not he’s been flirting with you. You like the way he’s looking at you and the way he’s easily made you forget about being overdressed and how uncomfortable you were even just five minutes ago. You’re having fun. And while you still haven’t answered his question from earlier, you have no doubt that he’d show you a good time if you let him.

“Maybe not a close second, but yours is certainly up there,” you tease.

He grins. “I can work with that.” There’s something about the way he adds on for now that has a spark dancing up along your spine. And then he sticks out his hand, “I’m Bradley.”

It’s a good name. It suits him. It’s one you think you’ll enjoy the way your tongue will curl around the letters of it in your mouth.

When you give him yours in return, he sits up straighter in his seat, like he’s won a small victory.

You don’t doubt that he’s the chivalrous type, the fact that he’s gone out of his way to come over to try and turn this evening around for you says more about him than any dating profile with nonsense questions and overthought answers ever could. But with a man like him, one who’d swoop in to save the night of a stranger because she looks like a damsel in distress, there’s an answer to a question you need to hear first.

“Bradley, this isn’t a pity thing, is it?” You were right, you like the way saying his name feels. You drop your hands into your lap, as you search his eyes. “Because if it is, that’ll make me feel worse than being stood up did.”

The way the words were sitting out and open on the table between the two of you made you feel vulnerable in a way you didn’t like. But you’d rather know now before anything goes further. Doing it for the plot or not, your ego could only take so much bruising in one evening.

He pins you with a look so serious that you feel it down to your toes. “Trust me, this is furthest thing from a ‘pity thing’, as you put it,” Bradley says, his tone slipping down a few gravelly notes. “Because if I’m being honest, if that asshole had actually shown up, I don’t know if I would have played fair.”

Oh.

A thrilling rush of warmth courses through you as your cheeks heat up.

You nod, trying to not look as affected as you feel. “Ok, I believe you.”

“Good,” he smirks, his gaze dropping down and lingering on your lips. You didn’t realize you’d trapped your lower lip between your teeth, you release it immediately. “Because you should know, I would have come over sooner- the second I saw you, actually- if I’d known. That’s some dress, sweetheart,” Bradley continues, “Plus, you’d be doing me a favor.”

You couldn’t help but be curious, so you lean in closer. “Oh, how so?”

Bradley mirrors you, crossing his thick forearms over each other and leans in that much closer. “I haven’t had a Valentine in years,” he says it like he’s letting you in on a secret.

For the first time all night, you don’t regret wearing the dress. You don’t regret the ostentatious shoes or the glimmering beaded bag. You don’t regret walking through that creaky door. You don’t regret showing up tonight.

How could you when you’ve just been served the best plot twist you’ve possibly ever experienced? A meetcute you never could have seen coming.

You realize just how close your faces have gotten and lean back in your seat, from fear of thinking you might do something stupid, like kiss him. “Will you stop with the big cow eyes, if I agree?”

Those crinkles around his eyes deepen, “Good to know they still work, I wasn’t sure if I still had it.”

You press your lips together trying to hide your smile, all too thoroughly charmed, but the corners of your mouth curl up all the same.

“Trust me, you have plenty.”

And Bradley’s own smile gets even wider.

Anyone in the bar can see how pleased with himself he is at your words. It rolls off of him in steady waves and swirls around your shins and ankles.

He makes a show of settling further into his seat, now that it is officially his seat. “What’re we thinking? One milkshake, two straws?”

You play along and pretend to ponder the offer for a moment. “That seems more like a second date type of activity, does it not?”

“You’re right, something to look forward to for next time,” he responds, not missing a beat. “So, can I buy you a drink?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

There wasn’t a menu or anything on the table when you sat down, so you aren’t sure what all is offered here. You thought you might have caught a glimpse of a laminated stack near register when you’d first walked in, but you hadn’t wanted to draw any more attention to yourself at the time by getting up again and wandering around and reminding people just how out of place you’d been.

You look around and see a mix of ceramic steins, pint glasses, beer bottles, and a few stems of wine on tabletops and in the hands of the other patrons.

The noise of the bar had become a faint white noise in your ears as the two of you talked, but it comes back in full force now.

“If they have rosé, I’d take a glass of that.” It isn’t hard to miss the hesitation in your voice, feeling a little silly defaulting to your usual go-to. You don’t imagine they go through a ton of pink wine here. “But, uhm, anything on tap would be fine too, if they don’t.”

Bradley’s lips twitch up. Not in a smirk, but something caught between amused and something else you can’t quite describe.

You try not to fidget under his warm gaze, “What?”

He slides out of his stool and rounds the table, setting a big hand on the armrest near your elbow, “There’s something you should know about me, sweetheart.”

“And what’s that?” you ask, more than a little breathlessly. Feeling a little high off of the smell of his leather and vanilla cologne, and something underneath that that reminds you of kerosene in a way that makes you want to breathe him in even more.

Bradley dips down close, his lips just a whisper from your ear, and murmurs, “Pink is my favorite color.”

Your head tips back on its own as you laugh. Its unabashedly loud and bright and delighted thing that fills the nooks and crannies of the corner you’d tucked yourself away into. And if a few heads turn your way because of it, that’s alright with you.

You don’t believe him, not one little bit. But that’s part of the fun. The back and forth, the flirting, the banter, the teasing. He’s so quickly turned this night around for you, you already know your cheeks are going to hurt by the end of it.

The sound of Bradley’s own laughter chases after yours. It’s warm and raspy and boyish, and you like the sound of it. You like him.

“One rosé, coming up,” he says, giving your shoulder a light squeeze before he steps out of your space. “There’s nothing I like more than a girl who commits to a theme.”

You catch his wrist, his skin warm under your palm. “Wait, what’s it really?”

“Red,” Bradley says, then gives you a slow once over, making your pulse spark in your veins. “But you’ve got me second guessing myself now.” He gives you a wink and then heads towards the bar.

When he comes back, only a few minutes later, he has glass of familiar pink wine in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other. And oddly enough, a straw tucked into the pocket on his shirt.

“It’s almost a perfect match,” he notes, when he sets it in front of you.

“At least I won’t have to worry about staining if I end up spilling on myself.”

Bradley chuckles and moves his stool in closer to yours, sitting back down with more smooth grace than a man with his build has any right to move. He tips the neck of his beer towards you, and you lightly tap your wine glass against it.

You take a sweet sip. “So.”

“So,” he repeats, with a teasing lift of his eyebrow.

“What’s your move?” you ask, running a glossy tipped finger around the rim of your wineglass.

“My move?” And there’s that grin again, one he doesn’t try to hide as he takes a sip of his own. “‘m pretty sure I’ve been showing you my moves since I sat down. I’ve never been good at being subtle.”

Bradley pulls the straw from his pocket and taps it a few times against the shellacked woodgrain table top. He takes the flimsy wrapper carefully starts twisting it, a little furrow of concentration forms between his brows, spiraling it until it’s pulled taut against itself.

You set an elbow on the edge, resting your chin on your hand as you study him. “But what’s the big move? I know you have one,” you press further.

His hands are big, calloused and rough, but capable. You want to know the story behind the scar that’s near the base of his thumb. You note that he wears his watch on the right instead of the left, and you pocket that new discovery for yourself the way a kid enthusiastically collects rocks in a park.

Bradley takes that piece of paper and folds it in half before twisting it again.

You watch in fascination as that pleased grin transforms into a confident smirk, like he’s enjoying even just the thought of showing you his big move. He looks like good trouble.

Bradley’s eyes slowly lift to yours, his hands pausing whatever he’s doing with that wrapper. He shoots a thumb to the left towards the end of the oval shaped bar. “You see that piano over there?”

“Mhm.” It’s an almost purr.

“That’s my big move.”

You feel your eyebrows lift in surprise. Bradley gave off such hometown golden boy vibes, you’d never have expected that he’d be the musical type too. The idea of seeing those hands fly over a set of black and white piano keys made your stomach tighten deliciously in anticipation.

“Am I going to get to see it?”

His gaze is steady on you when he replies, “Yeah, sweetheart, I’ll show you my move.”

A grin stretches across your face and you feel downright giddy, as you wiggle your shoulders in triumph.

Bradley shakes his head amused, and then refocuses his efforts on the task he’d started with the straw wrapper. He struggles only for a moment- those large fingers getting in the way- as he tries to open the end just enough to slip the tail though. He gives it one more final twist, securing the loop, before inspecting his handiwork.

“Now, since we’re valentines and all, it seemed only fitting that I get you- well, make you- a little something.” Bradley gives you a soft, boyish smile as he holds out his palm towards you, and in the center of it is a perfectly crafted paper ring. “Sorry, I couldn’t find you a Ring Pop on short notice.”

The words escape you for a moment at the sheer sweetness of the gesture.

Gently, you take it from his outstretched hand, and slip it onto the pointer finger of your right hand, adjusting it with care until you have it situated just right.

“I usually wouldn’t be able to accept something so grand on a first date. But for you, I’ll make an exception,” you say, liltingly. “Thank you, Bradley.”

You look down to appreciate it again, more than a little tempted to take it off and tuck it securely into your purse for safekeeping. For as much as you liked your dress and bag and your shoes, that little paper ring was now your favorite piece of the outfit you were wearing.

When you glance back up at him, his cheeks have the faintest pink hue to them. The little nonchalant shrug he tries to give you does nothing to hide how pleased he looks. “I make a mean daisy chain too. We might have to wait a couple months for Spring, but I’m good for it.”

Your mind flashes with an image of you and him in a park with a picnic basket sat between the two of you, and those large hands of his threading celery green stems together. It’s a pretty picture.

“Well, aren’t you just a regular modern day Renaissance man.”

“I’m a man of many talents,” he rasps, silky smooth. It makes goosebumps raise along your arms. “Now, I’ve told you mine. Can’t say I’m not dying to know what your big move is. Am I going to get to see it, sweetheart?”

“Maybe,” you muse, lifting your glass to take another sip, “If you’re good.”

Bradley hooks a foot under you stool and tugs you just a few inches closer. “Just out of curiosity, what’s your position on kissing on a first date?”

You bend forward towards him and think you hear his breath hitch, you smile. “I’ll keep you posted.”

You’re still looking at his lips when a shout from across the bar startles you both.

“Bradshaw!”

Bradley mutters a string of curses and then blows out a breath, giving you a smoldering look that tells you that the conversation is far from over. You’re more than willing to let him try and change your mind about where he lands in the mustache rankings.

You look over your shoulder to see the with the sharp smile from earlier waving your date over to the pool table. “I take it you know, Malibu Ken?”

“Unfortunately.” A mischievous look coasts over his face. “But I’ll get you all the Ring Pops you could ever want if you say that to his face.”

You laugh. “I’m holding out for that daisy chain.”

Another holler rings out from across the room, the same Southern drawl as before.

“Seems like he wants your attention. Is he a Leo?”

He snorts. “You know what, he just might be. But more like he’s been waiting for the right moment to annoy me since I ditched him to come talk to a pretty girl instead.”

You try not to preen at the compliment.

“The relentless type, huh?”

“You don’t know the half of it. I think I’m about thirty seconds from him queuing up “You Make Me Feel So Young” on repeat just to fuck with me,” Bradley explains. There’s a story there and you want to know more. “I know I still owe you the big move, but is it alright if I try to show off a little for you now? Just to get off my back for the rest of the night, then I’m all yours.”

You feel like you’ve just pulled an ace from your pocket.

“What are the stakes?” you ask, intrigued.

“Two hundred dollars and a whiskey,” Bradley replies.

You let out a low whistle, trying to school the catlike grin that wants to overtake your face. “That’s a lot of Ring Pops.”

The corners of his mouth curl up. “I was thinking dinner for our third date,” he says. “I’m buying for our second, of course. But it’s only right that we split the spoils of war.”

The sound of a brass band rings out over the staticky speakers and Bradley hangs his head down and lets out a long-suffering groan. You playfully pat his shoulder in faux commiseration.

You pretend to consider it for a moment, but you already know your answer. “Okay,” you agree, “Just as long as you’re okay with a little respectful ogling. You like my dress, and I like those jeans you’re wearing.”

He laughs, it’s a throaty rich sound. “I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

You gather for you purse and sweater as Bradley stands. His hands come to your waist, helping you off the chair, your bodies closer than close. It’s a forward move- he knows it, you know it- but with him, you don’t mind at all.

Bradley offers you his hand and you take it in yours; his fingers slip between yours easily like the two of you have already done this before.

The two of you only make it a few steps before you tug on his hand, waiting until he looks at you from over his shoulder before asking, with a lifted brow, “Bradley Bradshaw?”

He huffs out a not-so-exasperated sigh, “I blame it on the 80’s.”

“Whatever you say, Brad-Brad.” It’s the one and only time you’re ever going to say it, you decide. You like saying his name too much to shorten it. And his back may be turned to you now, but that now familiar chuckle still makes its way to your ears.

Bradley leads you to the bar first, where he buys another glass of rosé and a beer for himself. When you try to pass your credit card to the woman behind the counter, he takes it, and rasps into your ear, “Let me.”

He tucks it right back into your purse as the sound of brass instruments starts up yet again.

“Like a dog with a goddamn bone,” you hear him mumble. And you press your lips together to keep from laughing. Sure, you’d rather be seeing his big move, but you can’t claim not to be amused by all of this.

He nods to a group of people in the corner near the popcorn machine when the two of you enter the alcove with pool table. Some of his other friends of his you assume.

You send them a little wave, one that they return in greeting. You can tell they’re curious, but you’re grateful when they resume their conversation instead of making you feel like your date with Bradley had become a spectator sport for their viewing entertainment.

The first thing Bradley does is introduce you to his friend. It’s a little thing, but he does it without prompt or awkwardly leaving you to take the initiative yourself. You appreciate the way he is still prioritizing your comfort the way he’s been doing it since he first sat down across from you.

The second thing he does is pull out a chair for you. Not with a fanfare, not with a flourish. But like it’s something that’s innately ingrained in him. You get the sense that the gentleman thing isn’t an act with him, it’s who he is.

Jake rests a hip against the table. “Sorry to interrupt your date, but Bradshaw and I had some unfinished business.”

You wave him off, it’s not a big deal. Not when you’ll have the rest of the night with Bradley. Plus, you’re eager to watch this play out between them, curious about their gameplay.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get this over with,” Bradley rumbles, as he arranges the balls in the rack. And you wonder if he lost the lag before he’d made his way over to your table for one.

He comes back over to you, and leans on the ledge next to you as he chalks his cue. You’d thought about slipping your sweater back on, with the outside chill pressing against the line of glass windows at your back, but Bradley had more than enough warmth radiating off of him that you didn’t need to.

“You that eager to be out a couple hundred, Bradshaw?” Jake grins, as he leans over the side of the table. He turns his gaze to you and sends you a wink right before he breaks, sending the cue ball barreling into the others with a resounding clack, scattering them across the table.

And then they’re off.

It’s a rapid fire of back-and-forth banter between the men as they take their shots. Mostly good natured, but undeniably competitive. Smirking when they land their shots, and snarking over fouls. Clear that neither of them wants to lose.

Jake is all confident posturing, playing low over the cue with a lightly too tight grip. It’s the only thing that gives him away that he’s not the easygoing player as he wants people to think he is. Choosing higher risk shots that would highlight his ability versus some of the more straightforward options laid out for him, and skilled enough that it pays off most of the time. But after a couple rounds you note he’s too quick to stand up after taking his shot, not enough follow through because he’s too eager to see if his gamble pays off.

Bradley is all loose-limbed ease, clearly comfortable in both his skin and at the table. You can tell he’s probably playing quicker than he normally does, clearly trying to hurry up the game for your sake, even though he doesn’t need to. Although he does take his time as he positions himself around the table, only adjusting his bridge every now and then. Always with a 1-2 shot, a warm-up stroke followed by a steady hit. Watching him you catch his tendency to throw out his elbow of the follow through.

The two are pretty well matched in skill, you observe with keen eyes, as the balls skate across the Top Gun insignia, against the rails, and into pockets.

When Bradley’s not up to play, he’s by your side, right at your elbow. And when he is, it’s your eyes he’s looking into the moment he stands back up, seeking out your reaction. But more than once you feel his eyes on you as you watch them play.

True to your word, you to admire him in those snug fitting jeans. And when he catches your appreciative gaze, he sends you a wink before lining up his next shot.

Jake sinks another solid into the pocket he’d called only moments ago, and turns his dimpled smile at you, “You still sure about your date with the old man, chickadee? I bet I could show him up in that department too.”

The way he says it, you know he’s just teasing, probably just to rile you date up and get a reaction from him.

“Unfortunately for you, I think I have a thing for mustaches now,” you toss back, unbothered. And Bradley smiles into his drink.

You watch as Jake lines up his next shot and hits the white with a compact stroke.

“Double hit,” you declare.

“Dammit,” Jake curses.

You look over to see Bradley looking at you with a focused look on his face. Like there’s a theory clicking into place, one he needs the answer to. Wordlessly, he hands you the cue.

“You sure?” you ask.

“Two hundred dollars sure,” he states.

You take it from him with a sly grin.

Bradley’s thighs brush against the front of your knees, you know if you parted them even a couple inches, that he’d fit just right between them. His hands landing on your waist again as he assists you off the stool you’ve been perched on. And you’re starting to think he just likes an excuse to touch you, not that he needs one because you already more than like the feel of his hands on your body.

You walk the pool table, running a finger around the rails as you do. Evaluating the balls on the table like they’re chess pieces. The slow clip of your heels on the floor like the tick of a clock as you take your time deciding your approach.

“You’re the stripes,” Jake offers helpfully. “Don’t worry, I’ll even let you have a free shot.”

And you can’t help but laugh because this is going to be fun.

“Bradley?” you ask, leisurely chalking your cue.

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Do you mind?” You gesture to the spot behind you, and he catches on quick with a not-so-subtle glance at the short hem of your skirt.

He sets his beer down and comes to stand behind you, there’s just enough space between the two of you that you don’t have to worry about hitting him with the cue, his broad from proving you the coverage you needed to bend over the table. While you don’t think you’d mind Bradley seeing the silk thong you had on underneath your dress, you weren’t exactly up for flashing the whole bar.

You haven’t played in a while, but it’s a muscle memory at this point, as you map out your moves. Seeing the lines and angles and arcs in your mind’s eye before anchoring your bridge.

You look at Bradley from over your shoulder, only to see his eyes are trained on the ceiling with his tongue pressed against his cheek. A gentleman, albeit not an unaffected one. A tendril of smokey gratification curls its way along your spine. You turn your head back to the pool table looking between the cue, target, cue ball, target.

It’s a smooth stroke with a satisfying crack. A clean three-rail shot that lands the striped five into the pock you’d intended for it.

“Damn” is all Jake says. His eyes you up, clearly impressed.

“You sure about that free shot, Jake?” You stand up and smooth out your dress, just for the show of it. “Or do you want to make it double or nothing instead, Malibu Ken?” You hear Bradley snort from behind you.

And just like you thought, he wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, “Deal.” Jake turns to Bradley. “I just let your girl hustle me, didn’t I?”

“You sure did,” Bradley says with a grin, but his eyes are on you.

Neither are surprised when you sink your next shot too. The six sailing into the left corner pocket.

On your next shot, you may or may not deliberately foul. A tactical choice that sets Jake up with a less than ideal position on the table, knowing it’ll be a difficult shot for him to make.

“Now you’re just toying with me, aren’t you?” Jake grouses.

You just smile and take a sip of the rosé that Bradley hands you, neither confirming or denying.

Surprisingly, he banks it. But his good luck only lasting through that one play. Because on his next, the ball glances off the side rail at too acute an angle to reach the intended pocket and he groans.

Not quite ready to be done, you ease off a little. Enough that they both know you’re going easy on him to extend the game longer, just so that he can catch up to you.

But soon enough, soon there’s only your eight ball left on the table.

“Looks like you’re about to be out four hundred dollars, Jake,” you say with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Just put me out of my misery already.”

You turn to Bradley, who has been carefully positioning himself behind you the whole time. You hold out the cue to him and ask, “Do you want the honors?”

He shakes his head. “Go on, finish him off, sweetheart. I’m enjoying the show.”

And when your final ball tips into the side pocket, Jakes resounding groan is drown out by the whistle Bradley lets loose between his thumb and pointer finger, as you turn towards him beaming.

“The atm’s by the restroom.” Bradley sounds only too happy to remind Jake as he closes the gap between the two of you.

You look over his wide shoulder, “As for the whiskey, something expensive please, Malibu Ken.”

Jake huffs a grumble but nods all the same as he goes to round up your winnings.

“Scored four hundred dollars and a valentine, that’s not too shabby, if I do say so myself,” you preen to Bradley.

“Think that might have been the best thing I’ve seen all year,” Bradley announces. “The hottest too, if I’m being honest.” You feel your cheeks heat under his gaze. His finger slips under the thin strap of your dress that had fallen off your shoulder somewhere along the way. He slides it back up and into place, treating it like some delicate thing the same way he did that paper wrapper. “Where’d you learn to play like that?”

Normally, this is when you’d rerack, but you’ve never had a Bradley Bradshaw looking at you before.

“I took a class in college over the summer as an elective credit, and it turns out I had a knack for it,” you explain with a playful little shrug.

“I’ll say.” He takes another step closer. “Did you just show me your move, sweetheart?”

“One of them,” you grin.

You don’t have to press up to his height, not with your pearly heels.

You wrap your arms around his neck and bring his lips to yours for a kiss. A sound of surprise escapes from his throat. You feel the curve of a smile before his hands slide around your waist to pull you closer.

The scrape of his mustache against your upper lip sends electricity racing along every nerve ending in your body. In that moment you are Midas touched, the blood thrumming through your veins feels like liquid gold. It’s unhurried, like he’s been waiting to savor the feel of your mouth against his. Exciting and new as you learn the taste and touch of him. You knew it was going to be good, but even so, it’s better than you could have expected.

“Think you just snagged that number one spot of my list of favorite mustached men,” you say against his lips.

“Suck it, Selleck,” he rasps.

You inhale the amusement of his light chuckle, letting it go to your head like champagne bubbles, before he slips a hand around the base of your neck and pulling you in close once again.

A couple hours later, you find yourself at home on the couch. Your cheeks a little sore from how much smiling you’d done tonight, as Tom and Meg trade words over a plate of caviar on screen.

It was only much later that night you’d gotten to see Bradley’s big move.

He’d surprised you with his voice and the talented way his fingers glided over the white and black keys. An expensive glass of amber colored liquor sitting atop the old piano as he played, and four hundred dollars tucked safely away in your purse.

You’d given him your number when he’d walked you to your car, only distracting you for a few extra minutes with his mouth, before you’d left for the night, hoping that you’d hear from him soon.

A notification lights up your phone, and a ribbon of thrill unspools through you.

You sigh when you see that it’s a notification from your dating app. You’re wary to open it, not wanting anything to color your night, but you figure now is as good of time as any to block the guy who had nothing on the one you’d spent your evening with.

When you see the name of the person who’d sent you a message, you click into his profile with lightning-fast fingers, skimming all the details to things you hadn’t had a chance to learn yet.

𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐰

𝐀𝐠𝐞: 𝟑𝟓

𝐉𝐨𝐛 𝐓𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: 𝐏𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭

𝐒𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐥: 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐚

𝐏𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬: 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

𝐙𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐜 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧: 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫

There is a picture of him in uniform, grinning to someone out of the frame. And another one of him shirtless on the beach, surrounded by some of the faces you’d seen tonight at the Hard Deck.

But it’s the answers to the prompts that he’d picked, that set your heart fluttering.

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭: 𝐈 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲. (𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐡𝐞𝐫.)

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬: 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭��𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬.

𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭: 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐩𝐨𝐨𝐥 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐬.

That one makes you laugh.

You open the message from him, one that had been sent with a rose.

𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐰: 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞? 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨, 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧? 𝐈 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐈 𝐨𝐰𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐨𝐩.

You don’t even have to think.

𝐘𝐨𝐮: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐤𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝?

And you can’t help but grin to yourself as look at that paper ring still on your finger. Because you know, this app won’t be on your phone for much longer.

Not now that you’ve met him.

Happy Hearts Day, friends! Thank you for reading!

And a big thank you to Jordan ( @gretagerwigsmuse) for all the support and encouragement and general woogirling over Bradley Bradshaw!

You can read my other stories here!

Taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @ofstoriesandstardust @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

#thank you for reading and reblogging!#I’m just so happy you liked it!! 🫶🏻#the babe with the big move

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tbaluver · 3 hours ago

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S/O With ADHD- The Love And DeepSpace Men

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader, Caleb x Reader requested: by a couple anonnies ♥︎ a/n: hihi my lovelies! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ i just want to mention a disclaimer about this. while i do have adhd, everybody experiences things differently so what might be common for me, can be completely different to another person! these symptoms presented here are only what i’ve experienced and what my friends have experienced and what people have requested! do not refer to this to diagnose yourself. if you suspect you might have adhd, please refer to a professional! there will be a part two to this because theres more to add but anyways enjoy reading ! (∩˃o˂∩)♡ any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

He didn’t fully grasp the idea when you tried to explain your adhd to him, your thoughts would jump from one thing to another and he tried to keep up. He would do his own research to understand better what you were going through. He would notice the little things, the way you would say you 're going to do something but never actually start or how tasks seem to take you forever to finish.

No worries about being late or rushing to go on dates or hangouts with him, there’s no set start time. Often times the dates and hangouts are flexible. He’ll wait until you’re ready as long as he gets to spend time with you and eat yummy food together, he’s happy

Indulges and learns your hyper fixations and your current obsessions. He’ll learn more about them on his own time so he can talk more about them with you

If you’re okay with it, he’ll join you whenever you need to rest and watch your comfort shows whenever you’re feeling drained or overstimulated. He’ll make the atmosphere in the room feel more cozy either by giving you space, adjusting the lighting and closing the curtains, tucking you in your blankets, so you can recharge

Praises your smallest victories even if it was just cleaning your room or finishing a simple task in under an hour without thinking or worrying about it. He knows that even the simplest tasks can feel overwhelming so when you manage to do something without thinking or bed rotting before doing something, he’s genuinely proud of you.

Zayne:

He would truly listen when you go off on a tangent of your hyperfixations, letting you ramble about them without interrupting you. Even if you branch off too many topics that you swear relates to the main topic, eventually forgetting what the point was, he patiently brings you back to the main point.

“..wait what was I talking about?”

“you were talking about how ___ and __”

He’s very organized, constantly tidying and rearranging things for you without needing to be asked. He doesn’t mind it at all. He organizes in a way that he knows would help you but if you ever forget where something is, he’s quick to help you. lost your keys? by the dining room table. your jacket? in the laundry basket. your phone? you’re holding it

Tries to keep his explanations short and easier to understand. He’ll give you just enough without getting lost in any unnecessary details

When he’s not around, he helps you by texting you on specific times to check up on you or to help shift your focus

Separate calm activities alone but together with him. You could be doing your own thing while he reads his book(s) or finishes up any medical reports

Calculates how long it usually takes you to get ready, so he’ll plan dates with reservation an hour or two ahead of time, sometimes maybe even more depending on the date, just to avoid overwhelming you. He’s always patient and understanding, sometimes he’ll help you get ready to take the weight off your shoulders

Rafayel:

In the beginning, he’ll notice you can run late to things but once you explain that it’s because of your adhd, he’ll be more understanding. Still, he can’t help but tease you just a little but he means well. He’ll just plan more hangouts that don’t require any set start time, just as long as you two are together at the end

Yap sessions with him take up an ungodly amount of hours. You both branch off to different topics, each one you both swear is just as important as the last, so the conversation goes in different directions. It takes forever to circle back to the original point.

He loves hearing about your hyper fixations. You can tell him everything, every little fact and he’ll ask you a million questions, indulging in your passion for it as well.

Loves to spend time with you but he is mindful and lets you have the space to unwind whenever you might feel overstimulated or just need to recharge

Shows so much encouragement whenever you show your creative and passionate side. He’ll recognize and appreciate the things you’re good at, even if you’re not able to see it in yourself

It’s canon that he sends you separate messages instead of big blocks of texts but its not because that’s how he feels more comfortable texting but also because he knows that long paragraphs can feel overwhelming. He doesn’t want you to miss anything or feel pressured to read through a lot at once

Sylus:

Lets you hold his hand whenever you want, no need to ask. He knows how much you fidget and he loves how you rub circles on the back of his hand, melting under your touch. If it helps you feel better, then go ahead. He’d even buy you rings to fidget with, ones that maybe match and also just so you can have something to twist and twirl when he’s not around

He adores listening to your obsessions and your hyper fixations, letting you ramble your latest interests or the new trinkets you’ve added to your collection. He’ll even surprise you with little trinkets he remembers from past conversations, knowing they would make you smile

Enjoys spending time with you even if you were focused on your own thing, whether it was hobby related or just unwinding in your own way while he’s also doing his own thing.

When you need help focusing and he’s not around, he’ll reach out at a certain time to check in and help refocus your attention

Doesn’t really send you paragraph lengths of text messages but sends you shorter messages so it doesn’t feel as overwhelming. He’ll mostly send voice messages that are short and the right length so it doesn’t let your mind drift away

Online shopping with him can help so you can control yourself from impulse buying so many things. He doesn’t mind you buying the entire world with his card but sometimes he has to stop you from buying things you absolutely don’t need

Caleb:

It’s easy for tasks to slip through or become overwhelming. You might start one thing but your mind jumps to something else and it takes a while before you can get back to what you were originally doing. Caleb would help by breaking down your chores one at a time or with more manageable steps or most of the time he’ll step in and take care of things for you so you don’t feel burdened.

If anything important was coming up the day after, he’ll leave little sticky notes for you all over the house, each one with a tiny apple doodles. They’ll be on your mirror, bedroom door, anywhere else he knows you’ll see them

Ever since you were a kid, he’ll still help you go over any of your works or anything you were unsure about when you feel like you missed any details. He’ll make sure you don’t miss anything

Never judgemental at all if you cut him off mid-sentence. He understands that you need to get your thoughts out quickly before they slip away so he lets you speak freely without worry

Sometimes you might forget to reply to a message or forget to come back to the conversation, so he’ll send a follow up message like, “whaddya think pipsqueak? :o” or he’ll send you a post to bring you back to the convo

If you’re struggling to focus on something, instead of pushing you to keep going, he’ll encourage you to take a break. He’ll help you ease back into it whether it’s breaking things down further or offering some encouragement

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tarotbydelilah444 · 1 day ago

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PAC • what is manifesting for you

pile one

angel numbers

111

888

444

777

222

what’s manifesting…

Abundance in all forms is coming your way. You have unexpected windfalls of money that is coming in. I intuitively heard, “Fuck Up Some Commas” by Future. This could be a tax return, refund check, settlement, inheritance, return on investments, or a loan being repaid. Whatever it is, you have definitely been waiting on this for a while. Make sure you spend it wisely!

Starting your influencer journey. You may start an influencer/lifestyle channel. Do it! You will receive so many followers and views.

Gaining happy weight. Your body is filling out and going in all the right places. You will definitely appreciate and love the appearance of your body. Realizing that you're "that girl".

Starting your own garden. Growing fruits, vegetables, and herbs.

Becoming a plant mom or spending more time in nature.

• Trying new products for your hair and skin and seeing amazing results.

The months of May and September are of significance. Autumn is also of significance.

• If you’ve been thinking about changing your appearance, go for it! This applies to you if you want to dye your hair, specifically red, or even straighten your hair for the first time. A silk press or perming your hair is of significance.

• Someone that you blocked or in a no-contact situation with could be lurking on your social media. You know exactly who this person is. They still have feelings for you, or they still in their feelings about you blocking or ignoring them.

MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY. Your confidence will be improving. “And to me, you are the star of the show still”. You are officially God’s favorite and the universe will be showering you with nothing, but blessings on top of blessings. Be open to receive and give thanks to the most high for these blessings. This is your time to shine and thrive because everyone is watching you, yes, even your HATERS. Everything about you is so magnetic and contagious right now, so be mindful of who you are letting in your space at this time because you definitely got some people trying to block your shine, trying to talk shit, and even sending you the evil eye to block your blessings, but know that you are protected and no harm shall touch you.

Changing your eating habits. This could be dieting, fasting, or even being more mindful of what you are consuming. Working on that summer body!

• Learning new cooking recipes rather than eating out all the time. You could find new recipes on TikTok that you've been wanting to try out. Nara Smith could be of significance.

• If you are single, new love is coming in. This could be a soulmate connection, especially, if you've been trying to manifest in your soulmate. The wait is over and there is no need to look any further because this person is coming in sooner than you think. This person may be an Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, or Taurus, or could have these placements in their big three. They are very attractive, confident, friendly, creative, passionate, nurturing, and fun-loving. They could be younger than you or they could be a bit immature. Your advice is to allow yourself to be open to receiving this love and give this person a chance. Do not allow past experiences to rob you of this beautiful opportunity. "Love Like This," by Faith Evans is what I intuitively heard. For others, you got options, babyyy! You have so many people who are attracted to you and ready to shoot their shot and risk it all. "I'm here for a good time, not a long time" is your mantra. Right now, you are perfectly content with just exploring your options and having some fun. Take if it resonates, but some of you are discovering yourself, as it pertains to your sexuality, and others are becoming more comfortable in how you express your sensuality. Overall, you have good sex coming your way, so make sure you take precautions. I am sensing heavy fertility energy in your reading.

If you recently applied for an internship or scholarship, you will hear good news regarding this within the next few days or three to six months from now. Nursing could be of significance.

Receiving an invitation. This could be an invitation to a birthday party, baby shower, graduation, concert, trip, or some type of event/celebration. It will be fun and I see you enjoying yourself, if you decide to go. This definitely applies if you are an introvert, you are being encouraged to get out more and say “yes” to new opportunities and experiences that are heading your way. Time to get out of your comfort zone!

• Making birthday plans, especially, if you are a Pisces, Aries, Taurus, or Gemini.

• Tapping into your creative energy. If you have been thinking about starting a business or working on a new or old project, it’s time to START RIGHT NOW! I intuitively channeled that clip of Kim K, saying "Get Your Fucking Ass Up and Work". This may be a passion project or even you discovering a new hobby that has piqued your interest. Whatever it is, nurture it and watch out for how abundant and prosperous, it can become. It's time for you to share this idea, business, or project with the world because it will receive so much recognition, praise, and attention, especially if it's related to beauty or fashion.

keywords: glow up, Obsessed by Mariah Carey, abundance mindset, "patience, young grasshopper", Sum 2 Prove by Lil Baby, the world is yours, Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper, "My vibe right now is just living life", How Stella Got Her Groove Back, Blessings by Big Sean ft Drake, All Eyez on Me by 2Pac, having my way, YOLO, Valentine's Day, Congratulations by Post Malone ft Quavo, new character development, going viral, five-star b*tch, All I Do is Win by DJ Khaled ft T-Pain, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, monitoring spirits, Cocky Af by Megan Thee Stallion, destiny swapping, Pretty Girl Rock by Keri Hilson, soft girl life, Work Bitch by Britney Spears, high maintenance, Get It Sexyy by Sexyy Red, losing your virginity, I Am Woman by Emmy Meli, Korean skincare, life feeling like a movie, pilates princess, Git Up, Git Our by OutKast, "baby, you summertime fine", gang-stalking, Look At Me Now by Chris Brown ft Busta Rhymes & Lil Wayne, brand deals, "young, hot, and turnt, TGFI by Glorilla, Shining by Dj Khaled ft Jay-Z & Beyonce, romantizing my life, Stay Schemin by Rick Ross ft Drake & French Montana, buying a rose vibrator, Excuse Me Miss by Jay-Z ft Pharrell, Brokey by Latto, “let me give her a new style, a new hair-do, a new cut, a new color”

affirmations to affirm

"I am intelligent"

"Life is beautiful"

"I am beautiful"

pile two

angel numbers

333 666 888 444 111

what's manifesting...

You may have gone through a rough time or felt like it's you against the world for some time. You've learned harsh, yet valuable lessons and managed to overcome each obstacle and challenge that has come your way. "Everything happens for a reason". The Universe is so proud of you and is ready to reward you for your resilience, bravery, patience, and perseverance during this time. Things will begin to make sense and finally shift in your favor very soon. The storm is finally over!

A solo trip. I channeled Paris, Mexico, or Italy. If it's not these specific places, it will definitely be somewhere overseas. You want to get away to clear your mind. I intuitively heard, "reset button".

Learning how to detach and move away from things that no longer serve you. You no longer want to entertain and engage in/with low-vibrational things, people, and situations that subtract from you rather than add to you. "It ain't nothing to cut that b*tch off" is what I channeled. LOL, you guys are truly over the bullshit and are choosing to protect your peace by removing yourself from unnecessary stress and drama. It hasn't been easy, but these changes are necessary, for new things to come towards you.

Wanting to change your number. "New number, who dis". You are being more selective of who you allow access to you. You could be de-cluttering your phone by deleting old numbers and texts.

A passed-on loved one watches over you and constantly sends you signs from Heaven. They actively try to communicate with you through synchronicities and send you messages in your dreams to get your attention. They act as a guardian angel, always guiding you and protecting you from harm, both physical and spiritual.

The months of February, May, and August are of significance.

A new job or job offer is coming in, especially, if you've been applying non-stop or waiting for a response about a position. Make sure to stay vigilant and check your emails, junk mail, and messages, and answer phone calls because they may come in unexpectedly. This can also apply if you applied for an internship.

Tapping more into spirituality and leaning more into your spiritual abilities. You will find it easier to trust your intuition as a guide as well as see and trust in the signs and synchronicities that the Divine sends to you to assist you on your journey, especially when you are feeling confused or lost. Lots of praying, meditating, connecting with the elements, practicing gratitude, shadow work, and visualization. You may even find it much easier to manifest.

Finding or changing your style or aesthetic. "A new era of me".

If you recently went no-contact or blocked communication with someone, this person has been thinking about you a lot. You and this person share a karmic connection. They may have Gemini, Aquarius, or Pisces placements in their big three. Further characteristics: hazel eyes, average height, Asian, brown or darker complexion.

If you struggle with any health issues, you will make a speedy recovery, as long as you remain consistent with your health regime. You are learning how to prioritize yourself rather than choosing to ignore them for a change, through radical self-care and mindfulness. Replacing bad habits with good habits. Taking responsibility for your health, no more victim mentality.

Working and improving your credit score. You are becoming more frugal or mindful of where you are spending your money. Learning how to budget and how to invest in stocks. Paying off your debts.

Becoming more organized and being able to accomplish and deal with things with ease. Moving with intention.

Setting boundaries and being comfortable with saying "no". You guys are finally putting yourself first, for the first time in a long time. You are no longer interested in being a "people pleaser" and are focusing on only pleasing and accepting yourself. I channeled, "Don't save her, she don't wanna be saved". Not playing "captain- save-a-hoe anymore". The solar plexus chakra is very strong in your messages.

Shifting your mindset and learning how to be mindful of what you are thinking. Learning how to observe your thoughts rather than attaching meaning to them. Gaining control over your mind and thoughts.

keywords: protecting my peace, law of attraction, the art of detachment, I Wish You Roses by Kali Uchis, DND mode, Joy & Pain by Maze ft Franke Beverely, "It's above me Now", The Pressure by Jhene Aiko, actions speak louder than words, Free by 6lack, entering my villain era, Access Denied by Lucky Daye ft Ari Lennox, divinely protected, Female Energy by Willow "it's in me, not on me", spring cleaning, Bounce Back by Big Sean, me vs me, "I am the master of my fate", self-improvement books, epiphanies & realizations, Level Up by Ciara, herbalism, "I got to put me first", Do Not Disturb by Drake, in my healing era, medicine woman, "I forgive, but I don't forget", Not My Problem by Laila!, the path of self-discovery, phoenix rising from the ashes, Ambience by Nia Sultana, finding your voice, After the Storm by Kali Uchis ft Tyler the Creator, out of sight, out of mind, M.I.A, year of the snake, "no mean no", enlightenment, expand your consciousness, Surrender by Jhene Aiko ft Dr. Chill, too much static, return to sender, Fuck the World (Summer in London) by Brent Faiyaz, being tested, Silent Hill by Kendrick Lamar ft Kodak Black, the five clairs, sink or swim, Spider-Man Superman by Drake ft PartyNextDoor, "come correct or don't come at all", fuck around and find out, mental clarity, thrift shopping, standards going up, G.O.M.D by J.Cole, None of Your Concern by Jhene Aiko ft Big Sean, 0 to 100 by Drake, "didn't tell I was a savage", I Don't Fuck With You by Big Sean ft E-40, rebirth, Prada Process Guapdad 4000 ft 6LACK

affirmations to affirm

"I have a beautiful life"

"I am in control of my destiny"

I know my value and I add tax"

pile three

Disclaimer: Tumblr has a limit on the amount of songs you can add, so the rest of the channeled songs will be typed out.

Never Be Yours - Kali Uchis Burning - Tems Lucky Girl - Carlina

angel numbers

555 222 888 1010 111 /1111

what's manifesting...

Receiving recognition or having a viral moment. I channeled "overnight success/sensation". You or something is finally receiving its flowers after a long time of going unnoticed.

Wanting or getting a piercing.

Adopting a new pet.

Reconnecting with your inner child by following your passions and childhood dreams. Enjoying activities that you enjoyed in your childhood.

Volunteering. You could be working with children.

If you are experiencing family issues, there will be some type of resolution or mediation. "Waiving the white flag" is what I heard. For others, you could spend more time with your grandparents, especially since they are getting older.

Experiencing shifts in your friendship circle. The snakes in the grass are revealing themselves. Using your intuition to help guide you on who needs to be removed. " Not everyone can come along with you on this next phase of your journey". Don't worry though because you are meeting new people that are in alignment with you and your path.

People from your past will be resurfacing. This could be old friends or an old love interest. However, I strongly sense that this is the energy of an old love interest. This person could be Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn, or Cancer. This person is missing you real bad. They constantly replay the last encounter with you in their head like a broken record. They cannot get off their mind, no matter how much they've tried to, everything reminds them of you, especially if this a no-contact situation. I am intuitively hearing, "Missing You" by John Waite. This person looks at your photos a lot at night. They definitely relieve themselves to your photos and have flashbacks of the "intimate" moments that you two shared together. I received the "twin flame" card twice in the reading, so this is confirmation if were looking for a sign. This person wants to communicate with you and tell you how they truly feel about you. Apply if it resonates, but they are tired of running away from this connection and are realizing that they still love you or have fallen in love with you, and are hoping that you will grant them a second chance when the time is right. For some, they may even ask you out on a date. Further confirmations: Hispanic / Latino / Latina, curly or wavy textured hair, hazel eyes, and piercings.

Receiving calls or messages from unknown numbers.

If you are doubting if you are on the right path, 222 is confirmation that you are on the right path and that you are right where you are supposed to be.

Maturing. You are growing out of certain things that no longer resonate with you. Some of you may have experienced or are currently experiencing a spiritual awakening. Everything is shifting for your highest purpose, so don't panic or resist! You are no longer interested in repeating the same cycles.

The months of March, June, July, August, and October are of significance relating to your manifestations.

Good news about an interview or a deal. This can apply if you have aspirations of becoming a singer or pursuing a career in the creative field.

A new car. For some, this could be your first car, and for others, you could be passing your driver's test, getting your driver's license or your driving skills improving.

Going out on more dates. This could either be solo dates or allowing yourself to be wined and dined by others.

A mentor.

Enrolling in school to further your education or to earn a certification/license. If you are currently enrolled in school, your grades will improve and you will pass your courses. For others, yes, you will graduate, just stay focused and continue to study and work hard. This applies if you are studying for exams or a standardized test as well, you will get the results that you are seeking. An acceptance letter.

You will be more confident in sharing your talent with the world. You are beginning to believe in yourself and you are ready to share your talents with the world. You were meant to stand out and inspire others, you have so many people that look up or will look up to you as inspiration. "Allow me to reintroduce myself" is what I heard.

The ability to speak your manifestations into existence is becoming more powerful and potent. Remember that there is power in the tongue, so make sure, you are using it wisely. I also channeled that some of you are listening to subliminals to help you attract and manifest your "dream life", and receive your desired results.

keywords: What About Your Friends by TLC, having flashbacks, Can't Get Over You by Maze ft Frankie Beverly, true colors, "I want that old thing back", butterfly cycle, follow your dreams, "You complete me" (Jerry Maguire), close mouth don't get feed, Express Yourself by Charles Wright, Sparkle (movie), No Frauds by Nicki Minaj ft Drake & Lil Wayne, look how far you come (looking through old photos), Break My Soul by Beyonce, facing and overcoming your fears, Same Ol' Mistakes by Rihanna, the world is your oyster, Empire State of Mind by Jay-Z ft Alicia Keys, Lakshmi, it was all a dream, God's Plan by Drake, focus on the vision, Dedication by Nipsey Hussle, power of the mind, Glamorous by Fergie ft Ludacris, out with old, in with the new, 7 rings by Ariana Grande, the people's princess, New Level by A$AP Ferg, investing in yourself, honor roll, valedictorian, Roar by Katy Perry, runner & chaser dynamic, Live Your Life by T.I. ft Rihanna, trash taking itself out, Make Me Proud by Drake ft Nicki Minaj, "with great power comes with great responsibility", listening to subliminals, Motivation (Cardi B clip), "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade", Complicated by Nivea

affirmations to affirm

"I am proud of all my accomplishments"

"I am high frequency"

"I am standing in my power"

#Spotify #tarotbydelilah444 #tarotblr #tarot reading #pac reading #channeled messages #channeled songs #manifestation #affirmations

118 notes · View notes

jadeshifting · 3 days ago

Text

— TRENDSETTING IN MY BTS DR.

my style has evolved and changed countless times over the years ( some cute… some that make me curl up into a ball. ) the one thing that stays consistent is public support !! here are some of my favorite style choices that people loved enough to make a trend :^)

❤︎ ₊ ⊹ CAT-EYE MANICURES.

crisp, jellylike nails that reflect the light from every angle, that shimmer with an effervescent effect that makes you blink a couple times, like you’re looking at an optical illusion. to me, they’re addicting—apparently the fans agree when cat-eye and jelly manicures skyrocket in popularity

❤︎ ₊ ⊹ CRYSTAL-STUDDED EARS // INDUSTRIAL.

though my ears are riddled with countless holes and piercings ( i barely feel them anymore !! ) the centerpoint to me is my industrial. i fill it with the most extravagant bar piercings, keys and angel wings and jewels. suddenly, piercers start noticing many more requests for this specific cartilage piercing

❤︎ ₊ ⊹ ELECTRIC BLUE OUTFITS.

the color is one of my biggest trademarks—not pastel or royal blue, my favorite is electric, the kind that hurts your eyes a bit if you look at it for too long

❤︎ ₊ ⊹ FURS ( FAUX. )

buying secondhand furs is sustainable, and faux is just as good as real !! that’s the most important thing to remember, with the trend not only causing fans to don luxurious fluff, but also to rail again the production of real fur ( we love a noble cause coming from it !! )

❤︎ ₊ ⊹ OCEANIC JEWELS.

the moment i see a piece of jewelry that reminds me of the ocean ( or heaven, really ) i snatch it up. moonstone, aquamarine, pearls and silver are among my favorites, with those stones becoming extremely popular in jewelry, and the trend even spreading to other accessories

( i can’t remember who the first person who did this was , if u remember pls lmk so i can credit them !! )

97 notes · View notes

aesethewitch · 3 days ago

Text

Advertisement Adversaries #2: "Gender Swap Spell"

Hello, and welcome to the second installment of Advertisement Adversaries! This series aims to dissect unethical, unfair, deceptive, and just plain Not Good sales strategies found in the witchcraft community. We also cover legitimate sellers to highlight good marketing, listings, and business practices! The goal is to improve the legit witches' businesses and educate folks on scams, grifts, and marketing manipulations.

You can read more about this project here (Tumblr) or here (my website). You can also read this post on Ko-Fi or a better-formatted version on my website. (Note: Some images just wouldn't upload to Ko-Fi for some reason, so I strongly recommend using the website!)

Each entry covers one listing from a seller's catalogue. I score the listing on a scale of one to five in six categories: Clarity, Transparency, Presence, Genuineness, Verifiability, and Morality. Legitimate sellers get an extra category of Attractiveness/Advice for Improvement.

Please Note: I had so many screenshots for this listing, I've had to cut out a handful because of Tumblr's image limit. To see ALL of the images I captured, please pop over to my website for the full experience.

Now, let's have a look at today's entry into this series:

Advertisement Details

Who is the advertiser -- or who do they claim to be? Who is their apparent primary audience? What are they selling? What's their tone? What's the vibe? What are the first impressions?

Spell scams on Etsy are a dime a dozen. This one I've chosen has just about everything a scam boogeyman like me could possibly want. But let's start right from the top, shall we?

Now, this is a total scam, so we're naming and shaming, but I have another reason for naming this one. (Note that all other names, such as reviewer names, have been redacted from screenshots or otherwise omitted for their privacy.)

This listing comes from an Etsy shop called "MariahSpells." They last updated their shop announcements on September 6, 2024. The listing we're focusing on is one for a "Gender Swap Spell." Yeah, that's right, I'm fucking going there.

A lot of Etsy spells targeting trans people look like this. Many of them make it seem like it's a spell for a physical transformation, but really, you're getting an ~emotional transformation~ to help you along your ~spiritual journey~ and make you ~feel things~. But again, they market like it's a physical change and then pull this to prevent complaints or required refunds.

Not so with MariahSpells! No, no! This spell is going to change you physically. No HRT required. You want a dick? Envision it. Write it out. They're gonna make that happen for you. Let's fucking go.

God, I wish it worked that way.

No frills, no bullshit, and a 100% success guarantee. This Ancient and Powerful Spell is going to Fix You. No refunds.

Normally, I have to make an educated assumption about who these scams are targeting. But MariahSpells is doing my work for me:

Specifically and deliberately targeting vulnerable trans people who are desperate for a change. Nice. Note also the emphasis on "opposite sex" throughout this listing. We love erasing intersex and non-binary people, don't we?

But I can really see a depressed, desperate trans person buying this spell. And someone did.

Fucking tragic. This review was put up after I decided to cover this listing but before I started working on this. Someone bought this, perhaps because they can't access HRT safely where they are or because they want quicker results from their transition. I don't know for sure, but that's the kind of person this listing (and listings like this one) are targeting.

This shop, according to the main page, has received over 2,000 sales since it opened. Two thousand sales. Most of the other services in this shop aren't as exorbitantly priced as this one, but many of them are. One is, I shit you not, seven hundred dollars. ON SALE. To become a vampire -- yes, a real one, immortal and all. (But don't worry, that listing says you won't incur bad karma for it. Yippee!)

And that's all just on the surface. Let's do a smidge of digging.

Based on the shop name, you'd think that the seller's name is Mariah. But in their listing, all the way at the bottom in the "waxing poetic about themselves" section, we see this:

Why would your shop be MariahSpells if your name is Sayran? Now, I thought this was odd until I found a particular review with a link to a different Etsy shop that appears to have been forcibly shut down -- with the same qualifications listed in the description.

So, this isn't this person's name, and they've reopened a shop despite being shut down on another... which also wasn't their actual name. It makes me wonder how many times this person has done this, and whether they have other shopfronts they're running at the same time. Classic scam behavior: Change shop names after being reported/marked as a scam/taken down and keep on selling the same empty promises.

Admittedly, I'm not super familiar with Syriac magic or its traditions, so I'm staying away from commenting on that. If anyone reading this knows anything about it and is willing to dig into it, please let me know in the replies/reblogs or tag me in a separate post - if you've got the details, I want to read them! I did a little reading, but I had to put it down to focus on the rest of this review.

However, even without knowing about Syriac magic, I can't confirm anything about this person's practice or even their existence, because they have no social media. There are no links on the shop page, in the about section, or elsewhere. Even a wider search (using the current shop name, the prior shop name, and both listed seller names) brings up nothing. This seller doesn't exist outside this shop. Red fucking flag.

The overall tone of this listing is superior. It takes swipes at "fake wizards" and "everyone presenting themselves as a witch" in order to make this particular seller appear more legitimate.

The seller also takes time to shit on other listings that rely on the buyer's "positive thinking" to make their magic work -- or, really, to blame the buyer for spells not working.

I agree with them that it's scummy to blame the buyer and use their "negativity" as a scapegoat. Hilarious to see it on such a blatant scam.

Now, let's take a second to talk about the price and this sale that's going on. I took almost all of these screenshots on February 18, 2025 (others had to be redone due to formatting issues or because I forgot to grab a couple). I'm doing a first draft on the 19th, and as of literally right now as I'm typing this, the sale has about an hour and fifteen minutes left. I'm keeping an eye on it.

This is an exorbitant price for a service where your only verification is a photo which can easily be fabricated. You can't verify the services via reviews, either, because all of the reviews for spell services are premature ones giving five stars before any results are even given. (And for another reason, which I'll talk about later!)

This is now me, a couple hours later, returning to the listing. Lo and behold:

The sale is still on. It's still 50% off. But hey, it still has that "biggest markdown" banner on it. That's strange... a glitch, maybe?

Nope. Check the prices. The seller knocked a couple cents off the original price to make the sale price the "new lowest in 60 days." They're artificially forcing that message to keep up the sale hype. It's why the price is such a strange amount; they've been doing this since at least October 2024, maybe longer.

This isn't something you'd notice unless you were obsessively checking on it... like me. Gotcha, bitch.

Overall, the impression is fuckin' bad. Obviously. Between the bootleg Sims AI generated listing picture, the putting-down of other sellers, the product description, and the "sale" rug-pull, this listing is an incredible, pristine example of an Etsy Spell Scam.

Let's talk nitty-gritty.

Clarity

How clear is the language? Does it use a bunch of obscure terms or talk in circles? Is it obvious what the buyer will receive based on this listing alone?

I mean, it's pretty obvious what you're getting on the surface. It's a spell that's going to cause a physical transformation to you based on your specifications vis a vis gender transition.

But here's the thing: You don't actually know what's happening. What kind of spell is this? What ritual is being done? What concern is there for the buyer? It says this spell is permanent, but what does that mean? Does that mean it can't be undone at all? And if that's the case, how is this spell being bound to the buyer?

The seller says they're a Syriac magician, but that's a pretty niche tradition. The average person isn't going to know anything about it. You'd think they would take the opportunity to play up the exotic, exclusive nature of their magic by explaining a little more about the spell or ritual... but that would require there to be an actual spell happening, wouldn't it?

This listing is constantly talking in circles about how great the spell is and how powerful the magic is and how the effects are worth the price. But note that it doesn't detail what effects you're going to see. Note, again, that it's just repeating the same shit over and over and over again: "it's gonna work, I'm gonna do the spell for you, it's super powerful, you want this spell, it's gonna work..."

The only proof you're going to get of this spell happening is a photo, and only if you demand one. Based on reviews, buyers apparently get a short blurb stating that the spell has been done and the picture. Immediately after purchase, you get a JPG thank you message to download. You get the rest later.

My issue with "photo proof" of spells is that they can easily be faked. They can be stolen from the internet. They can be a set of photos that are being reused over and over again for different buyers. They can be real... but the setup may not be a true spell. It would be pretty easy to light some candles and draw a circle and take a picture to claim it's a spell when it's just... candles and a doodle. You know? Clarity for this listing gets a 1/5. It gets a singular point for saying what the spell is for and generally what it's intended to do, but most of the listing is sucking their own Very Ancient And Powerful dick instead of giving actual details about the spell.

Transparency

Is the seller honest about their refund/returns policy? Is it obvious where materials are being sourced? Is the seller being honest and clear about their credentials and/or qualifications?

On the surface, this seller is upfront about their refunds policy. As in, they don't do refunds. Their policy and other disclaimers are clearly stated at the bottom of the listing.

Standard stuff overall. We love to see a 100% guarantee followed up by "but I'm not responsible if it doesn't work." It's required, yes, but it's still funny. Also incredible to have a disclaimer about not providing medical advice on a listing about, y'know, a medical thing. (They also have a weight loss spell. Take that as you will.) The swap to "we" in the disclaimers is a little strange. It strikes me as something they've copied from another seller's listings or a different source and then edited to their liking.

As for materials, I have no idea where they're getting their stuff. They say that they use only the highest quality materials, but who knows?

We don't know what materials are being used in this spell, so there's no way to fact check this. This is on purpose.

And, once again, there's absolutely no way to verify this person's credentials. I can't even verify that they're a real person who practices magic! So, I can't say one way or the other if they're telling the truth.

It really seems like their refunds policy and general disclaimers are the only verifiably transparent things here, huh? That's worth a point, probably...

Except it isn't. I took a couple hours to read through every single review this shop has ever received, because I was curious. I found a couple strange things that I'll talk about further along in this review, but right now, I want to focus on this:

(For more examples, please see the version of this post on my website.)

Well, well, well. If it isn't my favorite grifter behavior, the old-fashioned bribe for better reviews. What this seller has done is offer refunds, exchanges, or other services in order to convince low-star reviewers to change their ratings. And it seems that at least a handful of people have taken them up on this offer. These folks have said that this is what happened, as you can see. I can't help but wonder how many of these other five-star reviews are fake, now, too.

Peeking at the listings those reviews are from, their prices are significantly lower than this listing we're focusing on. But you can imagine the draw of getting a $200 refund when you realize you've been scammed, right? Wouldn't you update your review to get that much money back? I would be tempted, I'm not gonna lie.

Then again, I'd probably update it again once I had my money back to be as close to zero stars as possible. Because fuck this behavior.

Transparency gets a solid fuck-you 0/5. They're actively lying about not providing refunds to cover their ass and bribe unsatisfied customers while hiding their identity and details of the spell.

Presence

Is the seller present anywhere other than their shop? Do they share anything about their process, method, or practice anywhere? Are they actually part of a community, or are they just selling something?

As mentioned way up above, I did a lot of digging. This seller has no social media that I can find. My guess is, because this is a scam shopfront using an alias, that I'm not meant to be able to find them anywhere else. Because they don't exist. This is a scam attempting to get as much money from you as possible before Etsy finds them again and shuts it down. They're not part of any community.

Also, interestingly, while I was trying to find anything about this shop, I found a couple Reddit threads that had been deleted talking about the shop. I couldn't recover any of the contents of those threads, unfortunately. Shame. It is interesting, though, that all of them were scrubbed. No idea if there's something bigger going on there or if it's just a coincidence. But it's interesting.

I found something else really interesting while combing through all of those reviews. There's a period from roughly February 2024 to August 2024 where this seller received a ton of one-star reviews in a row. All of them say that they never heard from the seller and never received their services.

The most recent of these one-star reviews is this one, followed by the reply left by the seller:

I can neither confirm nor deny the tragedy of this, because again, they have no other presence, and no lasting messages available other than the complaint reviews on the shop. And yet, I'm inclined to believe that this is at least somewhat true. Something happened in this seller's life that caused them to abandon this shop for several months. They'd been making steady sales before this with really positive reviews.

But Etsy has a vacation mode. Sellers can temporarily suspend their shops in the event of vacation, emergency, illness, or whatever else. Why didn't this person use this feature? It could be because of the "star seller" thing, since that's assessed on a three month cycle, and if a shop isn't active at all during the grading period, it'll lose star status. But neglecting the shop for seven months does the same thing! What the hell??

I'm uncertain if these people got refunds. According to the seller's review reply shown above, they apparently reached out to everyone who ordered from them. One person came back to amend their review to be five stars, stating that they spoke to the shop owner and giving their condolences.

One thing I'm certain of, though, is that this sale thing is surely a result of that low period. The shop's seemingly genuine and astroturf-like reviews resume around September/October 2024, and I know that these sales were going on then because of a review talking about "taking your $30 elsewhere." That's the approximate price of the service they bought.

So, either this "sale" tactic has been happening for a long time, or it's a newer scheme to boost the shop back up to where it was previously. I imagine the seller was desperate to get back to their five-star status after all those nasty reviews. No wonder they're bribing for stars and burying those negative reviews under mountains of premature and potentially false praise. Even if it's because of a genuine tragedy, this is gross behavior.

Presence gets an obvious 0/5. Even off-site reviews are non-existent.

Genuineness

Are listing photos genuine? Are any images AI, or is any copy written by an AI? Is this a real person selling something, or is this a bot account?

So, this listing has a bunch of images attached to it. The first one, the one you see in the Etsy search, is AI generated. Take a close look at it and note the blur on the earrings and the frames of the glasses melding into the eye/eyebrow shapes on the right.

Two of the images provided are collages of five-star reviews. I'm ignoring these, because I think it's gauche to do this when you're a legit seller. Doing it when you're a full-blown scammer is just ridiculous.

The rest of the images in this listing seem real, though! They're real pictures. What a refreshing and reassuring thing that is. (Very heavy sarcasm.)

I have three problems with these images, listed here in order from least to most bothersome.

First, these images don't really... match the spell at all. A couple seem like spells to bind two people together, like the ones with the figurine candles and the two poppets tied together. The others are generic spell circles.

My second issue is that every single spell listing in this shop has the same exact images. It quickly becomes obvious why they don't match the spell in question -- they're being reused again and again because they're eye-catching! The average consumer isn't going to be combing through every single listing, they're using the search bar to find specific spells and clicking the one(s) that catch their eye.

The third issue is that every single one of these images is stolen. Several are images that have been commonly reposted for the past decade (like the voodoo doll one). But a couple of these are kind of strange. Take this one, for example:

This image, as far as I can tell, comes from this article, which is about Syriac magic. It is, if Firefox's translate feature is to be trusted, a beginner-level article about Syriac magic. The image in the listing is the same one found on this article, just zoomed in and with a weird lightning filter overtop. This makes me wonder if this seller searched "syriac magic ritual picture" or something similar to get this image. I tried a couple ways, but this is a niche website in Turkish, so I'm not surprised I couldn't get it to populate in my search results.

Let's see this one also, since it's similarly stolen:

This one seems like it might be from this website, which is a French psychic's personal website advertising various spell services. I'm not 100% certain about this image's origins, but this one made the most sense out of the options.

A common thread between all of these images is that they were, at one point or another, reposted to Facebook. All of them, even the obscure one from the Turkish website. Not sure what exactly that means, but it is a pattern.

Well, with that reveal out of the way, let's go ahead and give Genuineness a score of 0/5. Not a single thing here is legitimate or genuine.

Verifiability

Is it obvious how a buyer will know their service is completed? Is it possible for the buyer to know? Are there any reviews verifying the quality/existence of the products or services? Are there negative reviews available?

All of the spells being provided, this one included, are "service only." That means you don't get a physical item, which means there's no tangible proof of service. You get a photo, as previously mentioned, and a reportedly brief summary of the spell's completion. I've already stated my issues with this, since there's no way to be certain that the service was done with just a short summary and an easily-faked photo.

Almost all of the reviews in this shop, and the one review on this particular listing, are positive. There are a sprinkling of negative reviews from 2024 complaining about not receiving what they paid for, a lack of detail in communication, and lack of results. The majority of reviews mention quick, attentive communication and fast turnaround for service completion.

And most of the reviews are premature. Nearly every single one of these reviews was left before the customer could see results, and most of them admit it.

I have two big problems with this. The first is that scammers like this will ask for positive reviews immediately, even when the supposed results might take months to manifest. The second is that a lot of these reviews come from the same person, all saying roughly the same thing about different services, all on the same day. It is possible that these are genuine, but it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility to call this astroturfing. Plus, with the proof of the seller bribing reviewers for refunds/other services, this reeks of falsified reviews.

So you can't trust the images, you can't trust the positive reviews, and you can't even tell if the seller is a real person. To me, that's textbook scam material. This seller gets 0/5 for Verifiability.

Morality

Are they offering services related to health, mental health, legal services, or other dubious subjects? Are they knowingly targeting a vulnerable audience using buzzwords and inflammatory language? Is the listing sharing misinformation or encouraging belief in conspiracy theories? Does the listing contain debunkable information? Does the listing participate in bigotry, cultural appropriation, bioessentialism, or anything of that nature?

I would like to fistfight this seller behind a Walmart.

Targeting vulnerable populations with impossible magical results and charging hundreds of dollars for empty promises is deplorable. It's disgusting. The intense "BUY NOW!!!" language coupled with sales that go on seemingly forever while being teased as "limited time" just compounds the scummy nature of this listing.

Not to mention the blatant erasure of intersex people and non-binary identities! "Opposite sex," my fucking foot. Obvious scam aside, if you don't know enough about trans people and the biology of gender to realize that it's more complex than one or the other, you're not qualified to cast spells like this.

This is a scam, plain and simple. It's designed to catch the eye of someone desperate enough to take a chance on wasting over a hundred dollars on the body of their dreams. They are continually adjusting the prices and renewing the sale to keep the urgency of "this BIGGEST SALE EVER is going to end soon!!!" going as long as possible. It's a scam.

Fuck you, Sayran/MariahSpells/whoever the hell you are. Morality is an extremely obvious 0/5.

Average Score & Summary

The average of all six scores comes to a whopping 0.2/5 (rounded up). I'm not surprised. With five zeroes and a single one on the board, this scam really does have everything.

I went into this review knowing that this was going to be a bad one. I wanted to cover this one specifically because it has all the hallmarks of an obvious scam. Because we can look at this and go, "Well, who the hell would fall for this? It's so obvious that this is bullshit, isn't it?"

But people do fall for it. People fall for it all the time. I went to the listing to copy some text for alt text descriptions on February 25, 2025, and saw this:

Another sale and another review, so the listing must be gone now, right? Only one left, and all that. Nope.

Of course not, because this is a scam. This asshole is going to keep doing this as long as they can, because it's making them a shitload of money.

Knowledgeable, considerate, genuine people buy this shit, because they want to believe. They're desperate for something they can't otherwise attain easily or safely.These scams are deliberately curated to fool the unwary, the hopeful, the desperate, the naive.

You are not immune to scams.

Let's summarize, quickly, the big warning signs found in this shop that mark it as a scam:

No social media, website, or other presence outside the shop

Big promises without explanation of how they're possible or how they're going to be fulfilled; minimal proof of completion promised

High prices slashed with sales throughout the shop

Sales that don't end to create an extreme and fabricated sense of urgency

Negative reviews with five stars, reviews edited in exchange for refunds, reviews edited by other coercion

Multiple positive, samey reviews from the same person on multiple products all on the same day

A listing that is mostly bragging about power and prestige rather than explaining the product/service in any kind of detail

Mismatch between the tradition/practice of the person and the services being offered and/or the language being used (being of an "ancient tradition" and yet using very modern New Age terminology)

Stolen listing photos, AI-generated images

It's a lot, but like I said, I picked this one because it has pretty much everything.

I believe that magic can help a trans person along their transition journey. Absolutely. Sure. Make your meds work faster, prevent misgendering, protect you from harm, smooth coming out conversations, etc. I've done all of these things successfully myself.

Magic cannot force an impossible change. If something isn't physically possible, magic isn't going to make it happen for you. A spell won't change your chromosomes. In my paradigm, this is explained by knots of Fate and Being that can't be untied.

This spell would not do anything. Even if the seller was genuine, this spell wouldn't do anything for you. Maybe if it was a spell intended to help your HRT act quicker or more effectively, or help you find a surgeon more easily, or something else like that, I could believe it. But a magic spell from Etsy isn't a replacement for medicine.

It can be fun to perform these spells, though. Spells to transform yourself into a fucking dragon rule. They're fun experiments. The day one of these spells works, you'll never hear from me again, because I'll be a jellyfish floating in the deep depths of the ocean forever and ever.

Have fun with magic. Just don't spend $150 on an Etsy scam for a scrap of false hope.

And, just as a final note, fuck Etsy for letting this kind of thing go. Fuck Etsy for giving scammers like this one (and many others) "Star Seller" status. You'd think they wouldn't just award that to anyone. You'd think that kind of recognition would come with some oversight for quality assurance, but no. Etsy lets scams like this thrive because they make a huge profit. Etsy's quality has been dropping across the board for years now, and I would genuinely encourage legitimate sellers looking for a place to hawk their wares to go elsewhere.

Know that I've reported this shop to Etsy. We'll see if that goes anywhere. I'll update if it does.

Final Notes

Many sellers in this series anonymous for a reason. Please do not go find these people. Even if I'm exposing a blatant scam to warn people about it, do not harass anyone. Harassment of any kind will not be tolerated. When appropriate, I attempt to contact the seller(s) to discuss their ads and listings or report them where possible. Again, do not attempt to contact or bother the sellers, even if my coverage of them is negative.

If you spot an ad or a product listing in the wild that you want me to see or cover, send me a link, a screenshot, or the name of the shop. You can send it via ask or DM on Tumblr or to [email protected]. Or, if you're a legitimate seller and want me to take a look at your listings (anonymous or not), shoot me a message or an email to chat about it! Examples of what to do are just as important as examples of what not to do, after all.

And, if you enjoy this series or my other work, please consider dropping a couple dollars in my tip jar! Writing is my full-time gig, and contributions help keep this boat afloat.

Thanks for reading!

#aese speaks #advertisement adversaries #ADversary 2 #witchcraft #witchblr #witch community #image ids in alt text #the scam boogeyman returns

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