#so many horse refs i looked up lmao

[chestnutisland]

8; A centaur and his naga girlfriend to @heimkoheimkofan , sorry i accidentally deleted the draft so I lost your original ask post T_T.

This was the actual last one!

[radiansjort]

BEST PARTS OF 2024 OLYMPICS (as someone in the US)

all the buzz around the cardboard beds. idk why the whole idea is so funny 💀

lebron hoisting that flag like george washington crossing the delaware. him and coco were perfect picks for flag bearers fr

POMMEL HORSE GUY. mr clark kent who got picked for the men’s gymnastics team JUST FOR THAT ONE EVENT, showed up, served cunt, and ensured us their first men’s gym medal in 16 years. stephen nedoroscik you will forever be iconic. (the whole team really— i also love seeing fred richards’ parents reactions LMAO)

THE USA WOMENS RUGBY TEAM 🗣️ being down 5 with 7 seconds left to go COAST TO COAST TO SCORE AND WIN THE BRONZE FOR THE FIRST US WOMENS MEDAL IN RUGBY!!! also ilona maher you will forever be iconic. 

flavia saraiva falling in warmups and being like ok bet, slaps a band aid on her black eye and goes out to help brazil win their FIRST MEDAL IN WOMENS GYM OHHH YEAHHH

GUATEMALA EARNED THEIR SECOND MEDAL EVER 🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️GRACIAS JEAN PIERRE BROL CARDENAS 🗣️🗣️🇬🇹🇬🇹🇬🇹🥉LOS CHAPINES FTW ‼️(if it weren’t for the new bib number rule instead of a shootout we could’ve gotten higher but i digress 😔)

THE WOMENS GYMNASTICS TEAM EATS ONCE AGAIN. 🐐🐐🐐

kim yeji’s AURA???!??? she came out there and shot with her hand in her pocket like she graduated from the university of servington, which she did, all while holding her daughters toy elephant 🥹

suni lee’s, simone biles’, and brody malone’s comeback stories were all so heartwarming to see, especially rebeca andrade’s coming back after THREE ACL TEARS?!!?

henrik christiansen (aka muffin guy) is literally so funny 😭🙏 bro actually has SO. MANY. tiktoks about the olympics village chocolate muffins and i give all credit to him for the fact we have the recipe now 😋

GUATEMALA WINNING ITS FIRST GOLD 🥇🥇🥇 ADRIANA RUANO 🐐🐐 PRIMER BRONCE Y AHORA ORO 🥉🥇🇬🇹🇬🇹🇬🇹🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️🗣️🗣️🗣️

that turkish guy who just came out there in a t shirt and rawdogged the olympics 😭😭 imagine doing the shooting event with no eyewear, no ear covers, and just eyeballing it and winning SILVER??? bro is a hit man tryna not be suspicious by winning gold 🤨🤨

snoop dogg just chilling?? bro is participating in trials, trading pins, going to like every event and cheering, wearing FULL equestrian gear with martha stewart 😭? watching skateboarding finals w tony hawk? my guy is on the side quest of all side quests

katie ledecky my GOAT 🐐. i always love seeing her as the only swimmer on screen!! she lowkey has time to get out of the pool, do some interviews, get a snack, and come back to watch second place finish fr 

i do not usually watch cycling but i got so sad when remco evenepoel’s bike broke down BUT he had such a. huge lead he STILL MANAGED TO WIN GOLD!!! 🔥🔥

loving all the countries making history with their first medals!! julian alfred (st. lucia) and thea lafond (dominica) SHOWING UP FR!! also a lot of countries got their first medals in gymnastics specifically like kaylia neymour (algeria), carlos yulo (philippines), ángel barajas (colombia), etc. LIKE OKAYY THE GYMNASTS ARE NOT HERE TO PLAY

all the noah lyles haters been real quiet after he won gold in 100m 🤫🤫

the french pole vaulter who LOST because his peanits was too big. LIKE??!!?? sure you have a big wiener but at the cost of LOSING THE OLYMPCIS LMFAOOO

the women’s balance beam podium was so cute 😭😭 the two italians, alice d’amato and manila esposito, biting their medals together, and zhou yaqin from china looks over and does it too 🥹

armand duplantis hit the turkish hitman celly after breaking the pole vaulting wr AGAIN and winning gold 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 tuff. he actually built different cuz tell me why he’s broken the wr LIKE EIGHT TIMES IN A ROW???

YEAHH BRAZIL BEAT FRANCE AND SPAIN EVEN WHEN THE REFS WERE TRYING SOOO HARD TO MAKE EM LOSE ‼️ like they were NOT slick we could tell 🤨

bro the figure skaters from beijing 2022 FINALLY getting their medals like??? i really took two years for the IOC to investigate? okay. AT LEAST THEYRE FINALLY GETTING THE BAG H 🗣️🗣️

imane khelif getting a gold despite ALL THE SHIT BEING THROWN AT HER‼️ she faced all these brain dead critics yet came out to win it, and saying without her haters the win wouldn’t have been so satisfying??? QUEEN SHIT 👑👑

women’s soccer SLAYED SO HARD. like i’ve seen enough build the alyssa naeher statue. that shootout against sweden awakened that dawg in her and she LOCKED IN. 

men’s and women’s basketball wins over france 🔥 imagine being the host country and both ur basketball teams go to the gold medal match just TO LOSE TO THE SAME COUNTRY LLL

usa winning the most medals 🔥💪 they not like U.S. fr 

shoutout to that guy who tried to climb the eiffel tower without ropes at the closing ceremony 😔✊ arrested before he could achieve greatness 🕊️🕊️🕊️

[nugatorysheep]

Wip Title Game

Tagged by @novantinuum

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs

I am not tagging 50 million people so @extranuts @flaretheskywing @dragonuva @roseetube post some WIP titles cowards

I have several docs that are just meant to be informative that I'm not listing because there's not much to talk about with them, and a TON of unfinished art that is like pre 2022 that will def not get done ever so its been yeeted into my Untouchables folder and also isn't listed here lmao

For convenience, I've taken out any duplicate files that are the same thing but in a different format

As you can see I have three brands of naming conventions for my files: Objective, Boring Name that just Is What It Is, Song Title and/or Lyric, and Shit Post Cause I Was Tired

Lord help me I have SO many WIPS

(Non-Informational) Writing Wips:

Bad End FOM Fic Beguiler of Wills Burning despair does ache Chapter 9: What does it matter how my heart breaks Drabbles Druidbreak Ficlet FOM WIP Doc Glimpses of life denial WIP IDK what to call this but yeah IEOE stuff idk Intermission XXX: Separate Ways Intermission XXX - Last moments of pure recall Intermission XXX - Look in my eyes she still holds the power Intermission XXX - The way ahead feels lonely Intermission XXX - Loss of want back there Pit AU - Editing Prism R&C Soundtrack Breakdown Six Forty Seven Slug it out Tell Me Something Good

Art Wips (I have a million of these):

[shoves hand in abdomen for the symbolism or some shit].clip ask.psd Axel Sketches.clip baneful bunker.png beat up boys.clip Beyond Bliss Gems Lineup.clip Bliss rose stuff for later.clip break the bank.clip chompers.png Connverse dump.clip Cupid dump.clip Druid x Sven x Sonny.clip Dryad sketches.clip EINF Steven.clip evil boi.clip evil leo doodles.clip Eye contact.clip Fab fly floret.clip failure 01.clip Frame of Mind Sketchbook.clip Fusion Chart.clip gay as fuck to be a test subject. what are you testing, your capacity for homosexual desires.clip (this is one long ass title lol) goober.clip Haven't you noticed I'm a star.clip He can say it cause i said so.clip he yeeteth and yoinknth away.clip HEARTBREAK SPINEL REF.clip homie rolled a nat one on genetics fr.clip HONEY REF.clip i am so fucking hungry bro imma make noodles 1.png (there's 4 it's a comic) I have made a new boy.clip Illustration (2).clip Illustration (3).clip Illustration.clip Illustration2 (2).clip Illustration2.clip Inner Demons.clip it triggered his flight or fight response.clip Karma Sketchbook.clip lazer_eyes-3A4E6.clip Lemme tell you what it's like to be a Zero.clip Loss Dot Jaypeg.png me.clip Mermay HB.clip mermay.clip MINOTUAR MAN.clip mirror_gem_designs.clip ML Stevonnie.clip munchmunch.clip Nova Artfight 2.clip Now that it's raining more than ever.clip old man lizard.clip oops all pain lol.clip open arms.clip Pasture crew.clip rare dizzy art.clip Real.mdp Ref wips.clip Sarkhan's Dragonfire.clip Save a horse ride a cowboy.clip Say that again i dare you.clip Screenshot 2023-09-23 001021.png Senkywenky.clip SFW Sketchbook.clip ShatteredStar.clip Show off those guns.clip Slugman the second coming.clip Snaps and snarls.clip so what's the point of holding tight onto my feet.clip Soap.clip some mtg quote.clip Space faggot.clip spongebob window meme.clip Starnheim_Unleashed.psd STEVEN ON LION.clip SU AU Battle Cuts.clip SUDF page redraw.clip Suneater.clip SUTREK.clip Take A Breath.clip Talking to Myself Redraw 1.clip (there are several of these it's a comic) THE SUN IS GETTING LOW.clip THERE IS NO MANA IN THIS AIR.clip they love each other.clip this was supposed to be shoes idk what happened.png Throwing boys at the wall to see what sticks.clip Tourmaline.clip Tower of boys.clip Trolls bullshit.clip tumblr bait purple rabbit man but the lame version [springtrap did it better].clip uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit idk.clip Union of Love.clip wahho.clip Welcome to the grid user.clip Welcome to the grid user.png Will you be satified.clip wip 02.clip You're MINE.clip zoo doodles.clip ZOOLOGY GEMS REF TWO.clip

[jrueships]

they're trying to jersey swap so they can both get what they wanted

people will learn two men are rivals and take the worst photos imaginable of them

[behindthekitty]

Apple Juice Royalty au!

Some of you might have seen my posts about it but basically i have created an au in which Epel is a prince and Deuce is a knight. I will talk more about them with their chatacter sheets ♡♡

First up our new prince Epel! If you cant read my handwriting I'll type it all out here

☆ Generally pretty emo

☆ Hates the cape and crown, but secretly likes the rest of the outfit

☆ likes horses and swordfighting and sports

☆ Was a boy in the village doin alright then he became a prince overnight now hes gotta figure out how to do it right so much to learn and see up in the c-

Epel is new prince adopted by the king. Under what circumstances, I'm not sure. Its possible his parents died and he was left all alone before Vil scooped him up. Despite what hes been given he's really miserable having to stay in the castle and learn a totally new dialect and manners and study all the time. He hates it. He wants to leave, and so he does. Epel escapes his home often. Also he's basically a disney princess at this point lol

About the outfit: Its based off of epel's dorm uniform and i also used some references from pinterest and Halloween costumes lol

Next is King Vil!

☆ In his 20's or so

☆ sighs a lot

☆ Having ro lead a country + lowkey raising a teen + looking good all the time is stressful

☆ But he manages

☆ Help

Vil became king, most likely when his father died. He decided to adopt an heir early on to save himself the trouble, but it really caused more trouble than it prevented. Epel's a handful and also really angsty. Dealing with him is bothersome, especially when he somehow keeps escaping even when Vil posts more and more guards around the castle, he always gets out somehow. It used to make him angry but he decided it wasn't worth the stress after a little while. Now he just sends people to go look for him whenever he escapes.

About the outfit: I used the same combination of references as I did for Epel, but i was also able to take influence from the evil queen.

Knight Deuce Spade!

☆ Takes his job seriously!

☆ a little too seriously!

☆ Obviously in love with Epel but will deny it to hell.

☆ Can't tall to Epel without blushing and sputtering

☆ Has a weakness for pretty boys

Deuce is a new knight trying to do everything right and make his mother proud. His backstory is the same as it is in canon. Wanting to do right by everyone ends up with him taking his job a little too seriously but he's also terrible at the job he tries so hard at. He's not a good fighter and also dumb. But lucky for him, nothing truly dangerous ever happens in their country.

His conflict is wanting to do his job right and also being head over heels for epel and wanting to see him happy.

About the outfit: I didnt design it, i stole it from some kid. But it fits him doesnt it? source

Chief Riddle Rosehearts!!

☆ Bite-sized knight

☆ Will actually destroy you

☆ Also tired of Epel's BS

☆ I wanted to draw him holding a sword :(

Riddle is another who takes his job very seriously. And he has to. He's the Chief knight and is thus the leader. Everyone has to follow his lead, no ifs ands or buts about it. If you argue, he'll yell at you and thats never fun.

Riddle is the guy Vil calls on whenever Epel escapes. At this point whenever Riddle is called in, this is what he expects the reason is. Riddle puts his all into finding Epel everytime and honestly cares more about it than everyone else does.

I wanted to draw him holdinga sword but couldn't figure it out

About the outfit: I couldn't find many refs of the kind of armor i was going for but it was fine. I took a lot of inspiration from his overblot form. Ignore the fact that he's on a tilt.

Other less important characters!

Trey!

☆ follows Riddle around

☆ Help

Cater!

☆ literally only became a knight to get closer to Vil (simp)

☆ commissions many paintings of himself

Ace!

☆ Messes around, isn't taking this seriously

☆ bad influence

Rook!

☆ Royal advisor

☆ What does he do? Vil doesnt even know.

Everyone else in hearstlabyul is a knight and so please imagine them in the same outfit as Deuce but with their respective symbols.

A lil plot i guess

Epel started sneaking out not too long after he became a prince. As soon as he had settled in he got tired of it. So he'd just leave. These early escapades happened at night whenever Epel was feeling especially emo. He'd normally go to the horse stables and take a ride to clear his mind, or climb a tree and stargaze, something like that. Stuff princes shouldn't do. He'd never leave the castle grounds, though. His secret was only exposed when Deuce found him. He should have reported Epel but that weakness for pretty boys and the empathy he's known for prevented him. It was basically love at first sight when Deuce saw Epel up close for the first time, not that Epel could tell.

After that, Deuce and the other knights (besides riddle) who gradually found out began helping Epel truly escape, like out into the real world. With their help, He could be out for a few days, or weeks even. And as Epel and Deuce start spending more time together, they get closer and closer 👀

My other ships might be here too but I don't really want to design an outfit for Rook lol so mostly just TreyRid on the sidelines maybe.

I do want to make a comic but uhhghnbchg i always quit those lmao I get so unmotivated.

Anyway thank you 4 reading! If you have any suggestions for this au, lmk. If you're wondering, I probably won't add any more characters to this au, since i see no reason to. this is it 4 now

[glassedplanets]

ok i have some time so now i can finally fill out that full ask meme

1. Art programs you have but don’t use

paint tool sai and firealpaca -- i used sai for yeeeaaaars and years and years after starting out in photoshop

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

neither, honestly? i go through phases where one thing suddenly becomes dramatically more difficult than anything else but i don’t think that among left/right/forward any one of them is easier than the other two

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uhhhh man. idk. cats? i don’t remember what i drew when i was little tbh

4. Fav character/subject that’s a bitch to draw

i feel like each blorbo goes through a phase where they’re a bitch to draw but for subject... indoor settings are currently my big bitch to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

hmmmm. 90/10 post/keep, i think? i’m interpreting “post” generously to include just sharing w/ friends too

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn’t supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

oh man this is a really broad question but like. i think everything is a subconscious inspiration, you know? my friends’ art, that post i just saw, the way the sunset looked yesterday, anything. but more specifically than that... idk lol, i’m not particularly self-aware, i think, so someone would have to say something to me

7. A medium of art you don’t work in but appreciate

pixels!! pixel art is so cool but idk anything about it, and quilting too

8. What’s an old project idea that you’ve lost interest in

i’m preeeetty good about finishing things so i don’t generally abandon them out of lack of interest

9. What are your file name conventions

answered!

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

shirts generally (t-shirts and button-ups), but i’ve been enjoying pants recently too (jeans, slacks, leggings)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

literally anything from neil cicierega to video game osts to asmr

12. Easiest part of body to draw

golly! everything has the potential to be a challenge. i feel like the thing i struggle with least often (in the sense that i don’t need to use refs quite as often and/or it needs adjustment less often) is hands, i really enjoy drawing them

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn’t your thing

hmm. i feel like this is an easy one to be Mean about so i’ll just go with naming a style that isn’t my thing, which would be 90% of drawn and quarterly’s catalog, or, the litfic (derogatory) of graphic novels

14. Any favorite motifs

man. idk. do i have Motifs? people touching subtly. late afternoon.

15. *Where* do you draw (don’t drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

home! i don’t like drawing outside of home but i am also a massive homebody in general

16. Something you are good at but don’t really have fun doing

answered!

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

yes......... lmao whatever meal intersects with whenever i happen to draw is what i eat, and i hydrate like a pro

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you’ve broken

probably some when i was a child, but i take good care of my stuff! i’ve never broken anything as a teen/adult, unless it was something inevitable like charcoal breaking

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

nature! bob rossin’ it ALL day, i am fortunate to live in a very beautiful area and i’m very deeply inspired by everything i see as i’m out and about

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

i think hands qualify for this, idk if it’s still popular to hate on hands but i really enjoy drawing them

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

so many... i feel like i don’t follow a lot of artists with a style similar to mine? or maybe i do and i’m just unselfaware about it, idk

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

i’ve got a pinchy ulnar nerve so i have to do nerve glides for that sometimes, and if i’m very stiff then i do wrist stretches

23. Do you use different layer modes

absolutely the fuck i do

24. Do your references include stock images

yes! stock images, stuff i find by googling, pose books, awkward photos of myself, anything

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

i am genuinely not sure anyone’s ever compared my art to anyone or anything...? this is an invitation if anyone reading this has ever been just burning to tell me that my art looks like [thing]

26. What’s a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

i mean... i draw fanart. so usually it’s pretty clearly what it says on the tin.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

not really, i use my sketch layer as a warmup

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i’ve never participated in a zine but i would love to someday....... and i tabled at an artist alley one (1) time at a convention that where the AA was more focused on commissioning (traditional) art than selling merch

29. Media you love, but doesn’t inspire you artistically

uhhh wow. lots of stuff, i guess? even with very visual things there’s a lot of stuff i read/watch/play where i’m like, this is beautiful, but it’s not something that i want to be able to do

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

i’m gonna take this as a “plug something shamelessly” question and say this one

[shinygoku]

tumger, you silly goose! You can't enforce a 10 image per post limit and then assemble an 18 picture post on my behalf only to refuse to post it prop'ly!!

The post below is Edited to allow it to be seen by others, go to the source posts if ya like whatcha see lmao

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I posted 1,893 times in 2021

205 posts created (11%)

1688 posts reblogged (89%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 8.2 posts.

I added 286 tags in 2021

#writing ref - 76 posts

#art ref - 52 posts

#another aesthetic - 38 posts

#this is ttte - 21 posts

#ttte thomas - 19 posts

#thomas the tank engine - 17 posts

#ref - 17 posts

#laugh rule - 16 posts

#lovely art - 15 posts

#ttte - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#because i had more fun writing and more fun getting feedback with those and the larger project seemingly lost all momentum with me + readers

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

I was so inspired by this one picture of a Cat in the late 30′s - whose owner had lovingly written “Our [cat name]” in pen on the photo itself, that I just had to draw a version for a beloved Engine 💙🥺😊

I’m partially copying the expression the cat had, Thomas himself may be midblink or simply not expecting a camera when he looked ahead. I imagine he’d complain about the face he was pulling when he later gets to see the photograph, and yet someone’s kept it, written the captions and put it in a frame...! 😸💖🚂

Flat, colour ver and inspirational Cat below the cut! in original post please click the link!! lol 🐱

47 notes • Posted 2021-11-13 22:18:21 GMT

#4

Redward day!! Redward day with a bit of Fanart for Jobey’s lov-er-ly scene of the two lads~! 💞🚂😸

I had no idea what I wanted to draw for this day, but really didn’t wanna miss it... so while I’m glad I went with the idea, I do wanna revisit this in the future with features like ....rails! and shading and better perspective =w=; Two Engines at an unconventional angle is very tricky ^^;;

This version of their first meeting is yet to be topped and it will always live rent free in my head as the default canon 🥰✨💕

49 notes • Posted 2021-11-09 22:20:05 GMT

#3

Short Stumpy Boy....

My own spin on the world’s most famous Tank Engine! I’ve seen and enjoyed many, many other takes, and lots of those have really cute ideas. Seems to be a fairly even split between his wearing Work Clothes or Formal Attire, so with my take I tried to do something different, maybe a bit more modern and a lot more casual, but hopefully Trendy! ✨

I absolutely wanna do more down the line... I actually had the coloured sketch done as more a concept than Final Product, but I’ve no idea when I’ll be able to draw a neater version so here he is! Featuring a tiny selection of iconic lines and moments ;3c

49 notes • Posted 2021-06-30 21:01:11 GMT

#2

So, ya’ll know about the Isle of Man having a unique native Cat Breed, the Manx? I’m here to propose there’s a similar situation on Sodor, which I call the Small-Eared Sudrian (Suddies or Small-ees as an affectionate nickname)

A breed of Domestic Cat, Suddies are defined by the physical characteristics of small (but still upright and triangular!) ears and long, fluffy tails. Contrasted with the tailless Manx cat, these look much more like a ‘normal’ moggy, but the Suddies have a unique temperament that causes them to be highly tolerant, if not clearly preferring, the hustle and bustle and the steam and smoke of Sodor’s famous Locomotives.

It’s theorised they were brought in to Engine Sheds to keep mice populations in check, though the claims are disputed by those who swear up and down that the cats just appeared one day, drawn instead to the warmth of the Iron Horses.

The Sudrian cat breed favours noisy environments and high temperatures, hence they are more of a pest in the sheds than the actual mice! Indeed, the difficulty in removing a cat from a prime position draped across footplates and shooing them from a Tank Engine’s bunker has been cited as reason for minor delays.

Very hardy and unlikely to be spooked with wheeshing steam or piercing whistles, some Cat Fanciers have despaired at how their Pedigree Queen insists on getting covered in coal dust. It is advised owners comb the cat to help prevent them swallowing soot that settles in their fluffy tails. More recently, health concerns have lead to attempts to keep the cats more distant from the Engines, but the Cats consistently have other ideas.

The cats are generally placid and can often be heard purring. It appears most of the Engines themselves are interested in the Suddies and get moody if the cats are chased away by human workers. A tender engine who refused to be named was most displeased when a cat was wrenched off from curled around his lamp iron and there was a personnel change shortly afterwards. Engines at rest sometimes compete with each other to coax a cat to sit on them to see who can charm more. The record is rumoured to be anywhere from 7 to 13 (in which a mother cat brought her kittens inside a cab), though this is highly disputed among the NWR fleet.

Suddies do have the sense to stay off the tracks and only build up numbers in sheds and smaller stations. The closest any have brought to an incident was the aforementioned upset engine, and another event where a bunker stowaway was only spotted in between stations on the Ffarquhar line, so the cat was kept in the Guard’s Van for the rest of the journey. The Guard in question took the cat with him upon retirement.

53 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 18:37:54 GMT

#1

THIS is the Ultimate Himbo! SON GOKŪ!!

He’s Kind!

He’s Dumb!

And He IS

BEEFY!!

And he’s The Best~! ✨

82 notes • Posted 2021-06-26 16:32:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[irwinkitten]

champion | c.h

pairing: boxer!cal x plus sized oc notes: first off, thank u to my lovely @calpops​ for making this moodboard for me. (eve ur the best). secondly, this has been a work in progress for literally months. pretty sure i sent a first draft idea to @cakesunflower​ and it’s only spiralled since then. thank you to everyone who has had sneak peeks and supported me as i wrote this beastie of a fic. i was gonna have smut but then i decided i couldn’t be bothered to write it lmao but i hope you all enjoy this fic regardless. I lowkey fell in love writing Arienne and I hope you all love her too. word count: 14k (will i ever not write so much, the answer is probably no.) warnings: mentions of violence

---

Ari had never been one to leave her comfort zone when it came to trying something new.

She would do what she could and then either abandon whatever idea she’d had or ditch out first chance possible. The only problem was, she couldn’t ditch out tonight because the one person who said they’d stick around, abandoned her the first chance possible, finding himself the seats with a girl he barely knew. And she was surrounded by people who were loud, obnoxious and quite simply put, terrified her.

She found herself being shepherded to one of the closed off areas by the boxing ring and watched in awe as people didn’t bother to check her ticket or ask who she even was. 

“Ring side seats girlie, don’t worry ‘bout it.” One of the managers-she’d assumed-told her when she tried to explain that she wasn’t with anyone who was partaking in the match. So for once, she decided to not look a gift horse in the mouth and watched as the spectators started to get more amped up for the match. 

More than once, people side-eyed her, a few questions being yelled at her. 

“Hey big girl, who you with? Because we’re pretty sure you ain’t here with the boxers!” Ari felt her face flush in embarrassment as she tried her hardest to ignore those remarks. But it was difficult when it caused more than a few looks to be sent her way.

The-assumed-manager stepped up.

“She’s here as a guest with me, shut the fuck up before I take you for twelve rounds myself.” The sneer on his face seemed to do the trick as the comments died down then and he turned to Ari, a smile on his lips. “I hope you don’t mind, I think that way you have a credible reason being here. I’m Ashton by the way.” Ari couldn’t believe her luck.

“It’s not like they’re yelling things I haven’t already heard. But thank you. I’m Arianne. Ari for short.” Ashton slung his arms across her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

“Well they’re fuckin’ assholes. You here to cheer on my boy?” At his question, he watched as she seemed to take on a sheepish look.

“This is my first match I’ve ever seen. My friend, Paul, he got these tickets saying it was a birthday gift for me, but I know better. He ditched me the second some pretty little blonde wanted his attention.” She explained softly and Ashton frowned.

“I’ve barely known you five minutes doll, and I wouldn’t want to ditch you if I took you out for a treat on a day that’s meant to be your day.” Ari shrugged.

“Used to it.” The explanation had Ashton sigh before muttering under his breath.

“Well doll, looks like you’re about to get the best birthday treat. My fighter is Calum Hood, he’s against Darren Tarkston. And how about afterwards, since your so called friend ditched you for some little thing that ain’t gonna want him after she got what she wants, we take you out for a celebration?” 

And even with how he worded his request, Ari had a suspicion that he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. And he watched as she scanned the crowd, a hard look crossing her face before a sigh left her lips.

“Fuck it, yeah. Sounds like a better birthday than I’ve had in years.” And Ashton beamed at her a the ref stepped into the ring.

The first opponent was called out, the crowd yelling their approval as he stepped into the ring. Ari watched as he seemed to flex a bit too much, his eyes taking in the crowd that had been briefly lit up and a smirk on his lips.

“Show off.” She scoffed quietly. Ashton heard and didn’t bother to hide his laughter.

“He plays up for the crowd, but he’s sly. Cal is holding onto his title, but this kid could very well knock him down.” Ashton explained as the crowd died down once more.

The second that Calum’s name was called out, Ari cheered with the rest of the crowd, but the crowd was going absolutely nuts. And she could see why. 

He was handsome. Toned body that came with the job territory, tattoos and a smirk that made her own lips curve up as she yelled her support with Ashton. 

By round three, it was obvious to her at least, what Calum’s tactics were. Whilst Tarkston favoured over kill, trying to get as many punches in to cause a KO, Calum hit hard and fast, but sparsely. 

As they crept closer to the final round, Ashton went over to give words of encouragement to Calum, clearly saying something that caused Calum’s dark eyes to where Ari stood, a wide smile on her lips. His own twitched in response before muttering something in return to Ashton who beamed and she overheard ‘knock the fucker down!’ from Ashton before he returned to her side.

“He good?” The crowd was gearing up, getting louder in anticipation.

“Yeah, he’s looking forward to celebrating this win and your birthday. He loves a good reason for a party and a birthday celebration is always a favourite of his.” This had made Ari laugh as the bell rang and she watched as he seemed to gain a second wind.

She flinched away from the punch that he’d landed which she was sure broke Tarkston’s nose. But they kept going. For a second, it looked like Calum was going to hit the floor, but then he recklessly shot himself forward and Tarkston hit the floor. 

The bell rang again and the crowd erupted into screaming chaos, Ari joining in as Ashton wrapped his arms around her in joy.

“He fucking did it! Knew he could! C’mon, you’re with me till the place clears out.” And before Ari could argue, Ashton had taken her hand in his and was pulling her through the walkway towards the ring to collect Calum.

“I’m so fucking proud of you!” Ashton yelled as Calum descended the steps and seemed to throw his weight onto Ashton. “C’mon bud, we need you upright till we get to the back. I promise we’ll be going out.” The promise was enough to help Calum keep his body upright and momentum forward. 

He’d barely acknowledged Ari and she half smiled at the sight. She couldn’t blame him, twelve rounds with a fighter who clearly knew his stuff? Ari was impressed that he was still standing upright. 

As they reached the changing rooms, Ari slid to Calum’s other side, watching as his body sagged. He glanced at her, dark eyes frowning as she shifted his arm over her shoulders and then he remembered Ashton’s words before the knockout round.

“I bet you’d pack a punch on the wrong guy who tried to chat you up.” Were the first words that left his mouth and he wanted to hit himself. But she laughed softly as they finally got him to his area, setting him down on the bench as the rest of the team started to flood the room. A hand reached out, roughly grabbing Ari’s shoulder.

“You shouldn’t be back here ya cheap nasty.” The british accent threw Ari for a loop as she stumbled and Ashton’s hand seemed to shoot out from nowhere, steadying her from falling flat on her face.

“This is why you’re on your last warning Terry. You don’t fucking listen. I told you that Ari was with me, but no, that bit of information didn’t have big tits or a scrap of fabric covering her cunt.” He snapped and Ari watched as Terry flushed a dark red, his eyes dropping to a scowl.

“It’s not like I assumed she was a groupie. Too much of a fat fuck to be one of those.” The room went very quiet and Ari let out an exhale. 

“Cal, you know what you said earlier, as we were coming through?” Ari called over her shoulder, eyeing Terry carefully who didn’t seem to care as he stepped closer to her. 

“Hood is in no condition to come to any of your rescue.” Ari caught Ashton starting to move and she smiled at him, the smile disarming both him and Terry.

“That wasn’t what was asked of him.” 

“I remember what I said, doll.” At this, Ari’s smirk seemed to widen in amusement, the change in demeanour making Terry glance around. As he looked up from her eyes, over to Calum, her arm pulled back before snapping forward. There was a satisfying crunch followed by a variety of yells as Terry stumbled backward, shock on his face before he hit the floor.

“That attitude of yours won’t get you any kind of woman, big or small. Next time, ask me who I am fucking with before you decide to lay any kind of hand on me and be glad that I only broke your nose.” Ari stepped away, knowing that she was most likely about to get into trouble.

What she didn’t expect was a round of applause as Calum started laughing whilst he was being checked over. She could feel her heart racing in her chest as she looked up and found herself being met with a smug grin from Ashton, a beaming one from Calum and looks of awe from the rest of the team. 

“He’s had it coming to him for weeks. We had bets that Cal would be the one to knock him down, but you didn’t even hesitate.” One of the team members with ‘TRAINER’ printed on the sleeve of his t-shirt muttered. 

It took another minute before a noise escaped from him and Ashton had already sat Ari next to Calum, indicating to the medic that she needed to get her knuckles checked over ‘just in case’ he’d said. The medic didn’t argue, however as he finished up with Calum, a smirk on his lips as he moved to Ari’s giggling figure, he made sure to take his time, especially when Terry began making noise about not being seen yet.

“Ladies first, dirtbag. Also consider this your last match with Hood.” Ashton’s authoritative voice cut through the whining, Terry falling silent as he scowled at the floor.

“What, gonna hire the pity party?” Ari raised an eyebrow, snorting at the remark.

“Heard that one before, try again.” The few that had scowled at Terry for the comment, stared at Ari in shock. This girl who they’d barely met, and they already loved her.

“What about fat piece of job thieving shit?” Ashton opened his mouth to protest the comments, but Ari held her free hand that wasn’t being examined, up.

“If my weight is the only insult that you can come up with, maybe I knocked that second to last brain cell out, leaving you with one to try and think of a reasonable insult. I’ll kindly fucking remind you, I’m almost certain I gave you that broken nose. I will not hesitate to ruin this good medic’s work and give you a pair of black eyes to match.” 

Calum full on lost it, his arm wrapping over Ari’s shoulders as he laughed, half leaning on her as a hand gripped his bruised ribs. Ari immediately felt bad, knowing that he’d already taken a battering that night. She felt her phone buzz. She ignored it.

“Ashton, if you don’t hire her, god damn I’ll fuckin’ marry her.” The medic finished up with her hand, the light bandage wrapped around her knuckles. 

“No more bare knuckle punching, ma’am. If you want tips, talk to the guy who’s turning into a hyena.” This made Ari grin as Calum’s arm tightened a little bit more, his lips dangerously close to her ear.

“Don’t worry doll, I’ll teach you how to do a knockout punch.” 

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Hood. But you need to recover first.” He scoffed before taking in the almost stern look on her face and it was only a second of hesitation before he nodded his head. 

“Deal.” Ashton’s jaw dropped in shock.

“Ari, what magical power did you just use? Because Calum Hood always argues about needing to train, even when he’s battered up and in pain. But he didn’t fight you.” Calum flipped off Ashton as Ari raised an eyebrow, a few members of the team nodding at Ashton in agreement.

“It was the magical persuasion of deal making. He’ll get to teach me, but only if he recovers.”  

Calum beamed at her in return before his eyes turned to the medic helping Terry up to his feet. 

“I’ve done what I can, but you need to head to the hospital to get the nose set in place before it starts to heal wrong.” That was when the unintelligible complaining started and soon disappeared as another team member hustled him out of the changing room.

“So now that both myself and Ari have been patched up, how about that celebration? A birdie told me there was a birthday as well.” Calum’s eyes landed back on Ari who laughed. 

“Considering that birdie wasn’t even stealthy when he told me the plans before your knockout round, I’m fine with it. I—I don’t—I’m not really dressed for clubbing though.” Ari found herself growing a lot more warmer as Calum eyed her outfit, his eyes trailing from the dark wash skinny jeans that she wore, over her curves, taking in the loose top that wasn’t tight but it hinted at some shape to her waist. 

“We aren’t clubbing. We’re heading out to a restaurant first and then we’re heading to mine for a house party in celebration.” Ashton explained and it settled the decision for Ari almost instantly.

“C’mon, you can’t turn this down, not after knocking Terry out like that.” The trainer called out and Ari giggled.

“When you put it like that...” She trailed off, earning a collective cheer as the guys each introduced themselves as Calum disappeared to shower and change. They all peppered her with questions about her age, what she did for a living, if there were any boyfriends on the scene.

Her heart sank at the reminder.

“I thought there was one... He brought me here today and well, he told me he had feelings for me but---” She sighed. It wasn’t unusual for men to do this to her, she’d played that rodeo so many times, but it still caused the dull ache to appear in her chest, the wounds from childhood never truly healed.

“Well we’re going to make this the best damn birthday ever. And I think we’re going to have to keep you on the team, even if you knew nothing about boxing before stepping into the venue.” Ashton teased, making Ari giggle.

Calum was paused around the corner, his heart lifting at the sound of her giggle, his own mind escaping him. He’d always protected his heart from vultures, gold diggers and those that wanted the reputation of being the cause of his anger. 

His lifestyle wasn’t always the best, but since the consecutive hold on his title, things were looking up and he knew that the girls would come in their droves for a chance to sleep with him. But this girl, barely known to him for less than twelve hour and he knew that he was smitten with her.

She’d held his attention in ways those other girls wished they could. And despite what rumours circulated around him, the only other person to know his type was Ashton. And Ari fit his type perfectly. Her laughter broke through his mind once more and he made his way around the corner.

“What joke did I miss?” 

“Ashton’s look when I told him that I won’t tell him my wiley ways.” Calum smirked at that and Ari could feel her chest flutter. 

“He’s always been a drama queen, don’t mind him doll. However, I’m ready for some food and celebrating. We heading out?” 

The team had already swapped their clothes around whilst he’d been getting changed, and Ari found herself situated between Ashton and Calum, her eyes watching as they got slightly rowdy as they entered the nearly empty venue, only the last of security and cleaners were there now. 

As they exited, it seemed that people had decided not to linger in the cold.

“Ari!” The familiar voice made her heart sink as Paul sauntered over, a smirk on his lips with a visible hickey showing as well as the red lipstick stains.

The team had already moved ahead but paused when they’d heard the new person of their groups name get called out. Both Calum and Ashton eyed him warily, knowing that this was the person that she’d likely spoken about in the changing rooms.

“C’mon baby, we’ve gotta get back. I need to drop you off and then I’ve got Jazz coming around later.” She could feel the tears stinging her eyes. He claimed he had feelings for her, yet all these girls were throwing themselves at him and he wasn’t stopping them.

She’d had enough.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m actually being taken out for my birthday, y’know, the day you said would be special but turns out you tried to fucking ruin?” His eyes widened almost comically as he finally took note of the two people she stood between.

“You know they don’t want you around, it’s likely a pity party for your birthday. C’mon, I’ve got a spot on the way home saved just for you.” And she could feel her chest ache. How she liked him, she couldn’t understand.

“Pity party? Is that all I’ll ever be in your eyes? Someone to pity because no one will date the fat girl? Am I a pity fuck because no one else will touch me? I can’t believe I even admitted to having feelings for you.” The disgusted look finally seemed to comprehend in his mind and she watched as a flash of panic crossed his features.

“You know that ain’t true baby, I really do-”

“Don’t you dare say those words!” She hissed, tears burning in her eyes. God, she hated the fact that her anger made her cry. But she was hurt. 

“Fine then, want me to be honest? Yeah, I flirt with you because no one else would. I slept with you as a fuckin dare but you weren’t a bad lay. I kept you around because I knew that if I couldn’t get anyone, you’d be more than willing since no one—”

For the second time that night, Ari’s fist pulled back and snapped forward. 

For the second time that day a body hit the floor, his hands cradling his face as he yelled, watching her in awe and fear.

She stepped forwards but two sets of hands stopped her as she felt her chest rip in half.

“I’m the best goddamn thing the world has fucking seen and you threw that right to be my friend away. Don’t text me, don’t talk to me, don’t fucking show up to my home ever. You’re a piece of shit and I honest to fucking god wish I’d never met you.” She sneered out at him, her tears falling at an alarmingly fast rate.

Calum and Ashton were gently pulling her away, surprised at the little resistance they face considering she seemed ready to launch on the guy only moments before. 

The quiet conversations between the other team members helped bring her back to reality a Calum sat her in on the edge of the trunk of the medic-Carl’s car, his fingers taking the unbandaged hand and eyeing it carefully as the trainer-Todd, held up his phone flashlight so he could see properly in the dark.

Ari could feel her tears, but she was past the point of caring. 

“Fuck my win, we’re celebrating you tonight.” Calum finally hummed from his spot next to her. Her eyes snapped to him in shock and he grinned. “You not only knockout two guys, but you helped my manager fire the biggest pain in my ass and it’s your birthday. I’ve won enough matches to know it’s the same kind of celebration. Fuck that. I’m celebrating your birthday.” 

“It means people can’t fawn over him is all.” Ashton supplied playfully and Ari gave him a tearfilled smile in return.

“He has you guys to do that already.” Came the weak response and it triggered off a round of laughter, Calum’s pout at her only making it funnier, which had set off her own giggles as she used her free hand to wipe the tears from her face.

“Can I trust you not to go punching anymore people now?” Carl gave her a stern look and she flushed in the darkness. 

“Yeah. I didn’t mean to, but at least I didn’t punch him with the one already bandaged.” She pointed out and Carl shook his head at her in amusement as he packed away his kit.

“You can ride with me, doll.” Calum murmured softly when she realised they were all grouped around various cars.

“Sure.”

“Ash, you gonna ride with me?” 

“More like I’m driving the fucking car. Get in the backseat, dumbass.” Ari laughed as he pouted but handed over his car keys and slid into the backseat. Ari sat in the front with Ashton and soon they were driving through the city.

“I was going to call the restaurant to amend the booking, since we lost Terry, but we picked up our girl here so the numbers should be okay. I know that Kenny called ahead and warned them that it was a rowdy bunch celebrating a birthday.” Ashton’s eyes flickered to the windscreen mirror before looking over to Ari. “I hope that’s okay with you?” 

“Too late to ask me that, Ashton, since I’m already in the car coming out with you guys.” Ari half grinned and Calum snorted.

“I’m more than okay with it. I’d rather celebrate her birthday instead of the fact I knocked someone out.” His tone was excited and Ari turned her head to see the beaming grin on his lips. 

It was quiet conversations between the three of them as Ashton pulled up to the restaurant and Ari could feel her insides churn as she spotted photographers lurking in wait. Ashton followed her gaze and a sigh broke from his lips, drawing her attention from the paps to him.

“Cal, you’ve got two options, mate.” A groan escaped from the backseat. 

“What are they?” 

“Either we let Ari head in first, I know the guys are probably inside already.” Ari understood then what they were talking about. Was it worth getting spotted with an unknown girl, and the headlines that could potentially follow?

“Fuck it. Ari, stick close to me.” Calum finally muttered and Ari could feel her hands trembling as he slid to the door on her side and climbed out. She followed suit and immediately there were flashes and calls of his name.

“Hood, how was the fight?”

“Calum, who’s the piece on your arm tonight?”

“Hood is she a good lay?” 

“Fuckin’ vultures. Keep your head down low Ari and if they try to grab for you, don’t hit them.” 

Ari’s hands trembled and Calum wrapped his arm around her shoulders, lifting his middle finger up towards the cameras as they walked to the restaurant doors. Ashton was behind them, his own middle fingers up as they got to the doors of the restaurant and Ari pulled the door open, ducking inside fast.

Once both Calum and Ashton were in, she took in low deep breaths, both sets of eyes concerned as he pulled herself together.

“Just get me a drink and I’ll be fine.” She finally muttered and Calum smiled, pulling her into the main area of the restaurant. 

It wasn’t hard to miss the group they were with, the loud chatter coming from the large table. Once the three of them joined, there were yells of ‘happy birthday’ in Ari’s direction and she laughed as they settled down and orders for drinks were made.

“Okay, so tonight, yeah I kept my title. But I’ve got enough of those. Celebrating this beauty’s birthday though? Not enough titles in the world to hold a candle to this girl. She knocked two guys flat out and still coming out.” Calum hollered over the noise and Ari found herself flushing as the group laughed and toasted her with a cheer.

The conversations as they ate, ranged from any possibility of taking Calum’s title off him, to where she worked. They then started discussing the future matches with possible competitors as well as the upcoming title matches he had. 

Whilst there was a loud debate going on between Calum and the team, Ashton leaned his arm across the back of Ari’s chair, capturing her attention immediately.

“When I said about hiring you, even though you knew nothing about boxing, I wasn’t kidding. I need a girl who knows numbers. That was Terry’s job. He was an ass, but he was good.” His voice was loud enough for her to hear, but quiet enough that it didn’t break into the current debate.

“What numbers are we talking. Tax figures and payroll of betting?” And Ashton chuckled.

“Bit of both. We like to know if people are feeling the underdog or rooting for him. But it’s entirely up to you, doll.” 

“I’ll consider it. I’m good with numbers, don’t get me wrong. But you’ve gotta think of his reputation right now.” Ashton scoffed.

“Calum’s never cared for his reputation.”  Ari bit her bottom lip to stop the words she felt were too personal for someone she’d met less than twelve hours ago.

Ashton noticed this and sighed.

“Be honest, please.” 

“He might not, but I’ve barely known him for six hours and I already do. I can already see the headlines that are going to come from those photos with me, let alone the news flooding out that I’m now on the team. People won’t take me seriously because there will be assumptions that I slept with him for the job.” Her words were rushed and quiet and Ashton paused before nodding.

“If I find a temporary fix, say for the next season run, will you give me an answer by then?” Ari nodded.

“I can do that.” 

When the group reached Ashton’s place, the party seemed to be in full swing. People were still congratulating Calum on his win and he shrugged it off as he pulled Ari into the kitchen.

“C’mon doll. It’s nothing like college parties.” The tease had made her laugh a lot more than she’d intended, but he’d insisted on her drinking whilst they ate, since Ashton was driving. 

After pouring two shots out, clinking glasses and downing them quickly, chased by a swig of beer, he hooked his arm over her shoulders, keeping her tucked into his side as he began to make his rounds through the people. 

The second anyone asked “who’s the chick tonight then?” Calum would promptly thank them for coming to the party and move on to the next person. Ari felt confused by that behaviour until he actually introduced her to someone.

“Luke! This is Ari. She knocked down Terry and her, what was he, a fuck buddy?” He turned to her and felt a twinge in his gut when her face twisted at the label.

“I guess. Thought what we had was more, but it wasn’t.” She shrugged before shaking Luke’s hand.

“It’s her birthday, so we’re celebratin’ that too.” Calum called over the music and more yells of ‘happy birthday’ rang through the air from the people that had heard Calum’s words. Ari laughed as she drained the last of her beer.

“Nice to meet you birthday girl, you gonna stick around for breakfast in the morning?” Ari shrugged and Calum frowned at that.

“Don’t know. Don’t wanna gatecrash anything.” Luke snorted at that and Calum laughed.

“You knocked Terry out, I’m amazed Calum didn’t propose on the spot to you.” Calum flushed. “You’re part of the group now, Ari. You’re gonna be coming to breakfast with us.” Luke smirked, his eyes flickering to the grin that Calum wore once she nodded in acceptance.

Leaning closer, under the guise of pulling her in for a hug which she obliged with, he spoke loud enough for her to hear, but softly enough that Calum missed it completely.

“You might not understand it now, but don’t worry, we’ll have your back.” The confusion must have showed because Luke grinned when he pulled away.

“Like I said, don’t worry. Anyway, Cal you’ve still got rounds to do.” And with that, Calum had his arm hooked around Ari once more and he was pulling her with him as he greeted people.

Luke’s words made sense the following morning. Her face was plastered across online tabloids with headlines that ranged from curious to downright insulting. 

Her hangover wasn’t as bad as she’d suspected it to be, but when she pulled herself from the guest bedroom that Ashton told her to stay in, the world began to spin and she sucked in a deep breath to quell the nausea. 

“If you need to throw up, bathroom is the door to your right.” She shook her head before clamping her lips shut. 

Ari made a hasty getaway from Ashton as she stumbled into his bathroom, the contents of her stomach reappearing in the toilet bowl. 

A warm hand rubbed between her shoulder blades and she appreciated it as her stomach rolled. 

“Too much alcohol?” 

“Tabloids.” She finally whispered and Ashton made a noise from the back of his throat that was more disgusted than anything. 

“Fucking vultures.”

When she made it downstairs, pouring herself a glass of water, Luke and Calum were already up and sat in the kitchen.

“How are you feeling about what’s been said, Ari?” Calum questioned and she shrugged.

“It’s stuff I’ve heard before. But, seeing it plastered over various sites, it’s frightening.” Luke shot her a sympathetic look.

“Looks like you’re with our group now, regardless.” And the shy smile he received in return made him grin as they began to plan for breakfast.

—

From that first day, Ari found herself submerged into Calum’s life. He was quite protective of her especially, despite knowing that she could easily handle herself. 

But having her approval of his actions and words wasn’t something he sought out. But he knew she appreciated them. 

Whenever a new article popped up because they’d gone out for a night out, there would be seven more with quotes from him redirecting the conversation away before straight up telling them to stop prying into her life just because he was her friend.

The media nearly had a field day when he’d slipped up in an interview and talked about the night they met. It was a moment where he was so impressed that he was speechless. What she hadn’t expected was him being honest enough and admitting that he’d spoken the words “if you don’t hire her, I’ll marry her.” 

That had been a very bad month. 

Ari had switched off every notification for her social media, the influx of comments which disparaged her weight, her life. She felt like she was under a spotlight and it burned sometimes. 

Calum hadn’t realised how bad it actually was until he’d made the decision to visit her unannounced. 

Lifting his fist, he knocked harshly on the door, hoping that Ari would hear over the music that was blasting through her home. 

“C’mon Arienne, what are you playing at?” He muttered quietly as his fingers tried the handle. When he found the door locked, concern flooded him. 

Using his spare key, he got into her house and immediately tossed his keys onto the side cabinet and headed upstairs. That was where the music was the loudest and he’d bet against himself that she’d be there. 

The problem with betting against himself meant that there was no satisfaction at being right. 

Pushing open the door, he froze at the sight of glass scattered along the carpeted floor. Very carefully he stepped in and noticed that the full body length mirror had been shattered. 

Then he heard his name. 

“Cal!” His alarm spiked at the sight of Ari sat against the wall, an empty wine bottle next to her with shards of glass surrounding her. 

Then he noticed the blood on her hands and he had to stop himself from flipping out. Then he really studied her face. 

Tears were rolling down her cheek, her bottom lip wobbling as he approached her slowly. 

“Ari, sweetheart. What happened?” 

A fresh set of sobs escaped her lips and Calum found himself more alarmed as her head tilts back, hitting the wall with a bit of force.

“Fucking people. Sayin’ such shit and makin’ me feel like I’m a kid. Don’t they think I look in the mirror everyday and find everything about me that I hate?” Her words were slurred, barely put together, but Calum could get the gist of it. 

He knew that the media tabloids had been particularly brutal towards her, especially after they were photographed a couple of nights ago.

“And then it felt like all I could see was their words and I didn’t wanna see them any more, and I broke the mirror but it’s made a mess and it hurts to clean up.” Calum moved over, crouching next to Ari, and she looked up to him, her eyes rimmed red as tears continued to fall down her cheek. “I just wanted them to stop.” 

It took everything in Calum to not cry at her words. 

“C’mon sweetheart. Let’s get you cleaned up and I’m pretty sure there are some episodes of Good Omens on.” He helped her up, making sure not to touch where her hands were cut, instead grabbing her forearms and pulling her up.

Ari didn’t protest as he led her away, heading to the bathroom. He made her sit on the toilet seat, stopping her from wiping her face with her hands more than once.

“Trust me, you do not want blood all over your face sweetheart.” She stared at him, the tears still falling but she nodded anyway, allowing him to clean the cuts that the shards had caused before wrapping her hands up.

“I’m no Carl, but you don’t need stitches. I think that can do for now, don’t you?” His tease earned a weak smile from Ari and he didn’t even hesitate to take her hands, placing soft kisses against her bandaged palms.

It didn’t take long to get Ari downstairs and she doesn’t even protest when he forced her to sit on the couch while he cleaned up the glass.

That was when he found another two empty bottles of wine and he realised how drunk she had to be for this to happen. The Ari he knew would have protested far too much and argued that she was okay. 

Then her words hit him again and it felt like a gut punch when he realised that she didn’t see herself the way that he saw her. 

Thankfully the blood on the floor was minimal and it was easy for him to clean. Years of getting blood on his clothes had taught him how to get blood out of fabric.

By the time he’d returned downstairs, Ari had switched the TV show over and he could see there were more tears. So he settled next to her once the glass shards were in the bin and the cleaning products were away.

She didn’t fight his embrace as he pulled her into his side and she allowed herself to cry, every emotion just flooding past the barriers she always held up. 

“I’ve got you sweetheart. I promise.” Calum whispered into her hair.

He wasn’t too sure how much more time had passed, but Ari’s sobbing had slowed down to the point that it was just her breathing and he realised that she’d fallen asleep. Shifting her so that her head was resting on his lap, Calum couldn’t stop himself as his fingers traced small patterns on the back of her neck, fingers occasionally tracing her face before returning to her neck.

He was angry on her behalf, to see her so broken. It was a shock for him but it hurt him to see Ari so downtrodden.

His phone went off and he checked the messages, realising last second that the whole intention of coming around to see Ari was to bring her out to one of Ashton’s house parties.

Snapping a photo of her, he sent it to Ashton.

‘Not leaving her. She broke down in tears, so I’m staying with her. Have fun tonight though dude.’

Thankfully, Ashton understood and didn’t tease Calum too much. Calum knew he’d get more ribbing from Luke at one point, but he was content to just spend the night like this. 

Part of him knew that he was in deep with her, but by this point, he was beyond caring. He knew this woman inside out and it only made her more endearing in his eyes.

When Calum woke up next, he hadn’t realised he’d fallen asleep, but they’d shifted in the night.

Ari was pressed into the back of the couch, her arm around his waist. He knew that he was on the edge, but it was the most comfortable he’d felt in weeks. 

“Please tell me this is a drunken dream.” She finally whispered and Calum laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“‘Fraid not princess. But don’t worry, that was actually the best night of sleep I’ve had in weeks.” His voice was quiet, raspy. And she giggled before burying her face into his chest, a groan escaping her lips.

“I shouldn’t have drunk that much. You didn’t have to deal with that.” 

“Don’t care. You needed a friend. It’s a good job I dropped by when I did.” A sigh escaped her lips as she just held him close, and his own arm was thrown over her waist, fingers tracing her lower back gently.

“Thank you Cal.” She finally whispered and he smiled.

“Anytime, princess.” 

After that, Calum was definitely more affectionate with Ari. And she didn’t complain, but she often sent him confused looks when his head was turned. But she loved the attention that he gave her, because the way he looked at her, it made her feel invincible.

Before long, Ashton had convinced the two of them to come around for a quiet get together. It was only the team at Ashton’s, a couple of beers in the garden in the sunshine. 

“So Ari, anyone you got your eye on?” Luke teased, a smirk growing on his face as he watched her eyes dropped to her lap before she looked up once more, shaking her head.

“No chance Hemmings. You’re not getting that info from me.” And he snorted out a laugh in return.

“C’mon. If you wanted a piece of me, all you have to do is ask.” And he and Ashton exchanged grins as they watched her press her lips together, rolling her eyes at the two of them.

“You’re cute Luke. But you’re like a string bean. I feel like I’d snap you in half if I straddled you. But you do have the blond locks in your favour. So that’s something.” The group laughed as Calum returned, his brows furrowed for a moment before Ari threw him a questioning look. 

He met her gaze before grinning, shaking his head slightly, indicating he was fine before rejoining the conversation, ignoring the pointed looks from his best friends as the conversation turned away from potential crushes. That was a territory that they did not need to know about. 

—

Ari had never been by herself to the gym where Calum trained. It wasn’t a place where she was most comfortable, but Calum hadn’t come back to her place like he was supposed to, so she’d headed over to the gym, knowing he’d be there.

The gym looked empty when she arrived. Swiping the keycard for entry, after getting persuaded by Calum to join up, if only so they had a place to train, she made her way to the sound of a punching bag being repetitively hit.

As she entered the open hall, Ari leaned against the door, watching Calum as he continued his attack on the punching bag, muscles defined as he went through the routine.

“I can feel your eyes on me.” He called when he paused, his head resting on the punching bag. 

“You didn’t arrive when you said you would. So I decided to drag you back to mine, kicking and screaming.” She sauntered forwards and he finally turned. Her eyes didn’t waver from his face, despite the temptation to do so, and he could only chuckle.

“It was either gonna be you or Ash. Alright, let me shower and change, doll.” He closed the distance, leaning down to place a soft kiss to her cheek before he continued on to the changing rooms.

Ari let out a soft breath of air once he’d gone through and her hand raised to touch the skin his lips brushed.

She knew he liked her, but part of her consistently told her that it was a ruse, that he couldn’t like a big girl like her.

She waited by the door of the gym, smiling as he came out, a fresh tank and sweats.

“C’mon handsome. It’s movie night before we head out on the road trip tomorrow.” She grinned as he slung his arm across her shoulders once they were out of the gym and the dark cool air swept over both of them.

He couldn’t help but chuckle when he saw her car parked next to his.

“I’ll see you at yours then, gorgeous.” He squeezed her shoulders before heading into his own car. He waited until she had peeled out before following her.

There was a part of her mind that was telling her that he was just having her on, that he wasn’t interested in her. And it made Ari feel even worse than before because she knew that when it came to Calum, her heart would beat faster every time he showed her any kind of affection. 

As she peeled into her driveway, she made her way into the house just as Calum pulled up, so she left the door open for him.

Once the slam echoed to the kitchen to let her know that he was in the house, she held up a beer for him, making him laugh as he entered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

“That’s my girl.” The casual comment had Ari blushing as she shoved him from the kitchen in return. Silently, she prayed that she wouldn’t completely give herself away with her reactions.

Once the film was going, Calum had shifted so that instead of sprawling his feet across Ari’s lap like normal, he’d let his head rest on her thighs and she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. 

“Comfortable there, kind sir?” Her words were a tease, trying not to let herself freak out. 

“Comfiest thighs in all the realm.” He shot back with a cheeky grin and she rolled her eyes. 

As the film drew on, she found herself running her fingers through his hair, a noise of appreciation escaping Calum’s lips as his body seemed to mould to the sofa. 

“Love it when it’s just us.” Calum murmured softly. Ari couldn’t help but watch how his face relaxed as he turned so that he was looking up to her. 

The temptation to kiss him was overwhelming. She clocked as his eyes met hers before drifting down to her lips and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest. 

She hasn’t realised that she was leaning forward until he was centimeters away and she could count each eyelash if she wished to. 

“You’re so damn beautiful.” His words were a breath and Ari could feel the heat rush to her cheeks. 

Before she could utter the words, a soft ‘kiss me’ on the tip of her tongue, the doorbell went off and they jolted away. Calum’s head fell back into her lap before she hurriedly moved him so that she could answer the door. 

She missed him breathing out a soft “fuck” as she did so. 

Opening the door, Ashton and Luke were stood there with wide grins. And just in that second she wondered if they knew how close she’d been to kissing Calum. 

“Why are you at my house? We don’t leave till tomorrow.” 

And that was when she noticed their bags in their hands and she groaned. 

“We figured it’d be easier if we started off already here.” Ashton explained and Ari sighed before letting them in. 

She heard Luke exclaim Calum’s name and her eyes met Ashton’s. He cocked an eyebrow and despite the fierce blush that appeared on her cheeks, she shook her head and shut the door. 

The following morning, once the two cars had been packed, they waited for the others to show up. She knew that a handful of their friends would be making their own way later on, so once it hit eleven, the third car pulled up and she was greeted with the familiar faces of Carl and Richard, making her grin as their girlfriends exited the car and pulled her in for a hug before they could reach her.

“Not like we’ve known her longer.” Carl snarked making Ari giggle.

“I’m another female. We gotta stick together on this road trip so we don’t fall into any idiotic plans the shared braincell between the lot of you comes up with.” Ari retorted, earning playful scowls as they made sure they had everything packed.

She realised that her stuff had been placed in Calum’s Cadillac. She ignored the look that Ashton gave her as she got in, the shouts hollering around her as they pulled away making her laugh. 

The silence wasn’t so awkward between the two of them, at least, not until Ashton shouted at the two of them to behave and Ari’s cheeks went bright and Calum groaned. The noise sent her chest into a flutter, briefly wondering if he was embarrassed at Ashton trying to insinuate something. And her anxiety skyrocketed.

Calum noticed the way her hands nervously tapped her thighs, the rhythm completely different to the rhythm and at the next red light, he took a glance and could see her face and he could see the anxiety in her features.

“What’s going through your head, doll?” The question made her jump, and he frowned as she gave off a nervous laugh.

“It’s nothing. I’ll be fine.” The words were muttered too quickly and before he could contest her words and point out she wasn’t fine, she turned up the radio.

Ari knew she was being childish about it, but she knew that actually voicing her fears was going to make them very real.

An hour into the journey, Calum pulled off into a layby, motioning to the others to keep going. Ari could feel herself shrink at the hoots that came from the cars and Calum sighed.

He killed the engine, the stretch of road with fields either side quiet in the glorious sunshine. With the top down, Ari could feel the sun on the back of her neck, and she tilted her head back, trying to quell the anxiety in her stomach.

“Is this about last night?” Calum finally asked and Ari could feel his gaze on her as she let out a shuddering sigh. “Arienne, talk to me.” And she nearly begged him to say her name again, the sound of it sending a shiver through her spine.

“Yes.” She finally admitted, her head lifting from the seat and turning to face Calum. His face fell at her answer.

“I’m, I’m not sure I understand, Ari.” He finally admitted and her lips pulled up into a kind smile that was just her. 

“I don’t think you would understand, Cal.” 

“Then help me understand, dammit Arienne.” His voice remained level, and she turned on the seat to face him. He shifted himself closer and Ari wasn’t sure if she was glad of the joined seats or annoyed about them.

It took her a moment, jumbled up words unable to form as he stared at her, dark eyes holding her gaze before she blew out a sigh of air, fingers tapping her thigh gently.

“You never had the issue of people making fun of your weight Cal. You said so yourself, soccer star and boxing star, friends with everyone and could date anyone you wanted. I didn’t have that. I had kids make fun of me, tell me that I would never find someone who loved me.” Calum opened his mouth, but she placed her hand over his lips.

He gave her a disgruntled look in return.

“Let me finish.” She waited until he nodded before withdrawing her hand.

“They’d try to find out if I liked someone and embarrass me in front of them and their friends, They made it impossible for me to be honest with my feelings to anyone, especially when they teased me, saying how only desperate men would want me as a last resort.” She could feel the first tear falling and a bitter smile appeared on her lips. “They made me so insecure about my emotions that I just told myself no one would want me.” 

Calum’s fingers lifted, capturing the falling tear and she could feel her heart hammering in her chest.

“I so desperately wanted to kiss you last night. I know I told myself as I was growing up to not give anyone control of my emotions. But here I am.” 

Calum’s fingers curved around her face, his fingers holding her chin gently.

“You’re right, I don’t know how it feels. But I also know that I like you, and it’s not some kind of joke. You’ve known me long enough to know that when it comes to my feelings, I’m all or nothing. How many girls have you seen me with, since I met you? How many times have we drunkenly told each other of our worst heartbreaks, letting no one else see that side of us? Arienne, you have to believe me when I tell you that it’s you that I like, and no one else.”

“Calum, the look on your face every time Luke or Ashton would make a comment, it just reminded me of being in high school and being embarrassed by the other kids, because the person who I was crushing on didn’t return my affections. You literally groaned when Ashton teased us earlier as we left.” 

Calum sighed before shifting closer, his other hand reaching over to cradle her face.

“I groaned because he’s been teasing me for weeks. They’re fucking relentless sometimes. But I do genuinely like you Ari.” 

Ari could feel her heart rate pick up as he leaned closer, his eyes searching hers for any hesitancy. 

His phone rang and both of them closed their eyes in frustration, her head resting against his shoulder. But he wrapped his arms around her instead.

“Luke or Ashton?” He muttered and she laughed.

“Either way when they go on dates, we’re doing the same thing.” She grumbled into his shoulder, making him laugh as he answered the phone.

“Why are you bothering me, Irwin?” Cal switched the phone to speaker.

“Ooo, someone got lucky?” 

“No, someone was trying to talk to him. Where are you guys?” Ari responded and there were soft oo’s in the background. She rolled her eyes as she slid back to her side, only for Cal to have her slide closer to him, passing her his phone as he got the engine started.

“About fifty miles ahead. We’ve stopped for some gas and food so we’ll hang about for you guys and then hit the road again. We should make it before sunset still.” Calum drove from the layby, putting his foot down on the gas.

“See you in a bit then.” Ari cut the call and once he was cruising, Calum slung his arm across her shoulders, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Now that her words were out between them, it was definitely more relaxed, but she could also feel the charge between them. When the gas station came into their sights, Ari slid away from Cal, giving him a small smile at the hurt look that flashed across his face.

“I don’t want to give them ammunition, Cal.” Understanding flashed across his face as his fingers sought out hers and he lifted the back of her hand to his lips.

“I would say fuck what they think, but after how you’ve explained it I can see why you’d be so hesitant. And that’s fine.” He grinned and relief flooded her as he let their hands drop between them as he pulled into the gas station.

“You want me to get us some food whilst you fill the car?” Ari asked and he grinned at her in return. 

“It’s like you read my mind. Here, put it on my card.” He handed her the black card and she stopped herself from arguing that she could pay. 

Calum knew she could pay, her job paid her well enough. But he was never hesitant to cover the bill when he was with Ari and she learned that he would find ways of giving her the money she’d managed to slip into his wallet, back. So instead of arguing, she rolled her eyes playfully, earning a chuckle as they both got out of the car.

Flipping off Ashton before he could say anything as they shouted their greetings, making the group laugh, she went into the store, meandering through the aisles, picking up some snacks for her and Calum to have once they hit the road once more.

Once her arm was filled with two sandwiches, some snacks and a couple of drinks, she made her way to the register. 

“Pump six as well, please.” She glanced to the car to see Calum sat on the hood, talking to Luke as the others messed around, waiting for her to get out.

“$42 in total ma’am.” She handed the card over with ease, collecting the rest of the items in her arms. She took the card back and tucked it in her back pocket before stepping back, stepping right into someone.

“Shit, I’m sorry dude.” The apology was out of her mouth as she glanced up, noting how his eyes studied her for a second before scoffing.

“At least you didn’t break any bones in my foot. Then I’d have been real pissed off. Take a tip sweetheart,” she cringed at the way it sounded from the strangers mouth, “how about you leave half of that and then maybe you might get lucky with me.” 

His fingers had wrapped around her wrist and it took her a second too long to register before disgust and alarm crossed her features.

“Let go of me, asshole. I apologised, you didn’t have to say something about shit you know nothing about. Now. Let. Go.” The grip on her wrist tightened and she shot a frightened look to the cashier. 

“I don’t think so.” The grip was becoming painful at this point, so using her advantage, she jabbed her heel down onto his foot, earning a sharp yelp of pain from him.

“Let. Me. Go.” The stranger stood up, his height easily matching Calum’s. But he was a lot more slender whereas Calum had filled out. And she was beginning to feel more scared each moment passed by with the strength of his grip on her wrist. 

“I said I don’t think so.” He jerked her forward and she immediately tugged herself back, gritting her teeth as the cashier went to pick up the phone. She knew that her wrist was going to be bruised later.

The bell rang from the door and relief flooded her as Calum’s voice sounded around the shop.

“Let go of my girl, asshole.” Almost immediately the grip was gone from her wrist and she stumbled back into Calum’s arms, her gaze turning to the stranger who was beginning to look frightened. A glance to Calum and she could understand.

He looked murderous.

“Next time someone tells you to let them go, let them go, asshole.” Ari snapped and allowed Calum to pull her from the shop, anger and shame bubbling up. The anger she could understand but the shame she was confused about.

Then it hit her. 

She was so used to comments about her diet, what she should and shouldn’t do that she more often than not, ignored them. But for Calum to then call her his girl, there was a small part that wondered if he was being honest or if it was just to get her out.

‘Shut up, he’s already told you that he likes you.’ Her mind hissed as they got to the car.

Calum took the stuff from her arms, chucking it into the car before his fingers found hers, pulling her wrist up for inspection. She finally noticed that her hands were shaking and there was a red mark around her wrist from the strangers grip.

“I should knock him out for that.” Calum muttered as he rummaged in the glovebox, pulling out one of the travel ice packs, popping it before maneuvering it around her wrist. She could feel the cold slowly build and his body suddenly enveloped hers, his arms over her shoulders. Despite feeling self conscious of how she looked, Ari wrapped her arms around Calum’s middle and allowed herself the time to calm down.

The others could see that she was shaken up, but gave the two of them the space before Carl made his way over.

“Everything okay guys?” Ari pulled back, holding her hand out to Carl. He moved the ice pack and inspected the red marks before nodding.

“The ice will keep any potential swelling down. If it hurts at any point, I’ll wrap it up when we get to the campsite.” Ari shot him a look of thanks before he headed back and there was a call for everyone to hustle and move it.

Ari didn’t even attempt to move Calum’s arm when he threw it over her shoulder once they were back on the road the wind whipping around them. She simply settled her head against his shoulder, turning the music up as they carried on cruising.

The sun was beginning its descent when they finally pulled up to the campsite. It didn’t take much between the group to get the various tents set up. 

It was a lot of laughing and jabbing each other with the tent poles before the collective adults finally pointed out that the group needed to get a move on to get to the beach to use the fire pit.

So with that in mind, once the tents were up, with a lot of ribbing for everyone, they all got back into the different cars and headed the short drive to the beach.

Ari helped lug one of the coolers from Ashton’s car and found that the rest of the group that they were meeting up with had already started the fire. She greeted the people that she knew and introduced herself to the ones she didn’t.

“So how did you come to meet this rabble then, Ari?” The night had crept up on them by this point, the fire still going. Ari had taken a seat on one of the logs around the fire, and Calum had claimed the spot in front of her, taking advantage of her hunched over figure and draping her arms over his shoulders.

Ari didn’t fight this, resting her chin on the top of his head and she grinned at the question as Ashton laughed.

“Met them on my birthday. Ashton kept me ringside and introduced me to Calum. He made a fool of himself within seconds.” A whine escaped from him in response and Ashton laughed.

“What was it Ari? Oh ‘I bet you could knock someone out if they looked at you wrong’ or something like that, right?” Ashton teased and Calum turned his head, burying his face into her arm. She was glad for the glow of the fire that hid her red cheeks.

“Something along those lines. However, within the next ten minutes I knocked out one of their team members, Terry I think his name was?” 

“You were the one that took out Terry?” Sam gasped and she laughed, her face hidden in Carl’s shoulder. “He complained for months about that! I didn’t realise it was you.” 

Ari smirked.

“Knocked my fuck buddy out about thirty minutes after that.” This drew laughter from Luke and Michael and Calum’s body shook.

“She was ready to pulverise him. So Ash and I had to stop her from ending up in a jail cell.” Calum piped up from his spot and she giggled, shifting her head so that her face was buried into his neck as she quieted her giggles.

As the night continued, the group split up. A few headed back to the tents, whilst the others broke off into smaller groups. Someone switched on the stereo they’d brought with, and Calum shifted himself so that he was straddled over the log, facing Arienne. 

She copied his actions, so he took the chance to shift closer before taking her hands within his. They were on the other side of the fire, away from the group. A small bubble of their own and she was okay with that.

“You seem more relaxed now, how’s your wrist?” He asked, his fingers pulling her wrist closer for inspection. She grinned at him, pulling her wrist away from his sight.

“Fine. I’m with friends, even if some of them only met me tonight.” They shared soft giggles and when their eyes met, his lips curved up in a small smile.

“Seeing you so carefree, you’ve gotta know how beautiful you look. No worries, nothing holding you back.” He brought his hand up once more, the backs of his fingers trailing against her cheek. She was almost certain she could feel the heat in her cheeks as his other hand moved to rest on her thigh.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathed and her words were lost as she nodded softly. He inched closer before his lips pressed against hers and she could feel the butterflies explode in her chest as his hand curved under her chin, holding her in place as his hand that was resting on her thigh, moved to rest on her hip, ignoring her slight shift from his touch.

“About fucking time!” Both Luke and Ashton exclaimed, causing the two of them to pull away, their eyes meeting before turning to the pair sat across the fire.

That was when Ari remembered her audience and her cheeks grew hot. 

“Considering the previous times we nearly kissed, you two cockblocks ruined it.” Calum snarked back and they both laughed.

“Well now you two can stop pussyfooting around.” Ashton teased in return. Ari groaned and her face moved forward to rest against his shoulder. 

“Can we ditch these assholes?” She muttered and Calum chuckled softly.

“I reckon we can do that doll. C’mon.” He stood up, pulling Ari with him. This earned wolf whistles, which earned a scowl in return. Luke laughed as he blew Ari a kiss. She returned it with a middle finger as they said their goodnights and headed back to the campsite.

Ari didn’t bother with the pretense of sleeping in separate tents. She kept a hold of Calum’s hand and he laughed, pressing a soft kiss to her lips at the entrance of her tent.

“Pushing for more already, doll?” His tease made her blush and she shook her head, shoving his shoulder as she did so.

“Can a girl not want her cuddle buddy?” The pout on her lips was enough that he kissed her once more and her lips curved into a soft smile.

“You’ve always got your cuddle buddy, doll. I’ll get changed out here so you can change in the tent.” He murmured and she gave him a look of thanks before disappearing into the tent. 

He could hear her struggle around as he changed into sweatpants and a tank top. It was moments after he’d folded his own clothes up that she called him quietly and he pushed into the tent, zipping up the bug net but leaving the door open.

“More excuse to cuddle and stay warm.” He teased and she snorted as they settled into the sleeping bags. Calum was quick to zip the two together before they settled properly, his arms pulling her close and resting on her stomach as she pressed a gentle kiss to his collarbone.

“I know that Ash teases you about liking me, but, is he right? Do you like me or is he just being a dick?” And Calum realised then how deep the insecurity ran for Ari. 

Here she was, a big and beautiful girl who had a loud personality to match. She took no shit and put him in his place when he was being an ass. But to see her so timid over something he’d never given a second thought to, it made his chest ache. 

“Trust me doll, I like you. I’ve been crushing on you since the get go and honestly, getting to know you, just made it so much easier to let my feelings for you grow.” Her lips had curved into a shy smile and Calum took his hand within hers.

Moving their bodies slightly, he pressed her hand to his crotch and it took her a second before she realised what he was pointing out to her as his lips ghosted across her neck.

“I like every part of you, doll.” 

A soft ‘oh’ fell from her lips before his own captured hers and she moved her hands to a safer territory.

“I won’t pressure you till you’re ready sweet girl. I promise.” He murmured against her lips and she smiled into the kiss.

“This is why it’s difficult not to let myself fall for you, Hood.” He laughed before they settled for the evening, her body nestled against his.

When they woke up the following morning, Ari found her back pressed against Calum’s chest, his arm slung across her body, hand resting on her stomach. And most times she’d feel uncomfortable with someone touching her stomach, but Calum was nothing if not insistent and she’d gotten used to his touch at least.

She felt a part of her realise that she was the little spoon for once, his face pressed into the back of her neck.

Shifting slightly, a soft noise escaped Calum’s lips and she giggled.

“Morning.” She whispered and he simply tightened his arm around her. 

“M’having the best dream. Don’t wanna wake up.” He muttered and she snorted.

“If you think this is a dream Cal, you’re gonna have the shock of your life when you realise that we’re both in my tent and I admitted my feelings to you last night.” 

Ari felt his leg hook over her, and before she could protest, he’d shifted her so that she was on her back and he was straddling her. Immediately her cheeks flushed and he leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

“Morning sweetheart.” His lips were in a wide grin and Ari could feel her heart just melt as his eyes crinkled slightly.

Her lips met his once more and his hands found hers, pinning them next to her head.

“Morning.” She finally returned.

They traded soft and lazy kisses until they heard movements from the other tents and Calum was yet to move.

“Listen, if you two want to get nasty, zip the door up, not just the netting.” Ashton hollered at them, making Ari snort as Calum raised his middle finger.

“If you wanna try that again, I’m not afraid to give you a black eye, Ash.” Calum called back and Ashton laughed as he slid off Ari and they finally started to get up.

“Ashton, you’re a dick.” Ari called through and he laughed.

“Yeah but you love me.”

“Debatable.”

As they began to wake up and group up for potential plans, Ari allowed herself to settle next to Calum, her head resting on his shoulder as she tried to keep herself awake. 

“Cal keep you awake last night Ari?” Ashton’s suggestive comment earned him a middle finger as she went to move away from Calum, but his fingers reached for her hand, squeezing it gently in reassurance. 

So ignoring the anxiety, she left her head resting where it was as Calum pressed a kiss to the top of her head. 

“It’s too early for your bullshit Ash. Pack it in.” Ashton hesitated before shrugging his shoulders. 

“I’ll just save it all up for you.” Luke snorted as the rest of the group finally started talking about trips out to the beach and a possible rock climbing venture. 

Neither appealed to Ari but she knew that staying at the campsite was going to get odd looks. 

“Uh, beach I guess. I don’t fancy rock climbing in this weather.” She’d never heard herself sound so small, but Calum squeezed her hand.

“We can go look around the area if you want to. I know there are some local shops that we can raid before the barbeque later.” He murmured and her body relaxed in relief. 

“Just us?” 

“Just us. Maybe a moron or two if they don’t wanna be at the beach.” His voice grew slightly, earning annoyed protests from his friends.

Ari giggled as she lifted her head off his shoulders, placing a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re too good for me, Hood.”

Calum shrugged his shoulders as they moved to get read for the day, breakfast having been eaten between the group and plans finalised.

He wasn’t surprised at Luke and Ashton deciding to come with the two of them. The girls had grouped together for the beach and the rest of the guys were doing the rock climbing and joking about throwing Carl into the sea. 

“Touch my favourite medic and I’ll pull a Terry on you guys.” Ari teased as they all split between cars. This earned shouts of laughter as they headed off and Calum grinning as she settled into the front of his car, Luke and Ashton taking residence in the back.

“How come we get put to the backseat?” The complaint came from Luke as Calum drove into the town. Ashton snorted.

“You know that she gets front seat regardless. It’s become the unofficial rule of Calum’s car.” Ari could feel the embarrassment rise in her cheeks, but Calum took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“She’s a prettier sight than you two fuckers in my front seat, that’s for sure.” This earned loud laughter as he pulled into the parking lot, his hand slipping back into Ari’s once he was on her side of the car.

“Anywhere in particular or are we window shopping?” Ashton asked as they began to make their way through.

“Start from the other end of the town and work our way back to the car. And fuck window shopping, I want to see all the shops.” Ari grinned at the two and Calum laughed at the looks of mock horror the other two shared.

“You two asked for it by joining us.” Calum teased as they began to make their way up the town.

It was a relief to be able to walk around, his fingers wrapped around hers, without paparazzi lurking around the next corner. He could see that Ari was visibly relaxing, and both Luke and Ashton were helping that with their comments on some of the stuff they were passing.

The beauty of being in a small seaside town, away from tourists and busy lives, no one cared about the four of them walking down the road. No one was bothered about the fact a world championship boxer was in their midst. 

“Can you two morons go head for a sec? We’ll catch up to you.” Calum’s words pulled a confused frown from Ari, but she didn’t protest as he led her over to one of the benches that looked out over the sea. Luke and Ashton carried on ahead, their voices carrying over for a few seconds before falling quiet.

 “Everything okay, Cal?” His lips curled up into the half smile that sent her heart racing.

“S’perfect sweetheart. But, I wanted to talk about us. And what better place to do it than in front of a setting so beautiful?” And she could feel her heart race as her mind began to whir with so many possibilities.

That was, until his lips found hers and her mind short-circuited for a second.

 “It’s nothing bad, I promise.” He whispered against her lips, and for the first time in her life, she believed those words.

“What about us, then?” 

Her eyes met his as he pulled back, his hands lifting up to cradle her face. She knew in that second that her heart was his, regardless of her insecurities. 

“Would you consider giving us a go? Letting me take you out on dates, spoil you, lavish my love upon you?” His words made a giggle escape, their noses bumping together as his thumbs stroked her cheeks softly. Her heart was melting.

“I mean, you do that enough already, don’t you?” Her tease was loud and clear and Calum chuckled softly.

“No, we go out in groups and you don’t argue with me anymore when I buy you shit. However, lavishing my love upon you is up for discussion. I want to lavish my love upon all of you. I currently only lavish my love upon you in certain ways.” 

“Big bad boxer, showing his emotions. Reckon that would be a good title for the tabloids?” And he couldn’t help but stare at her for a second before grinning.

“They know better than to antagonise me like that. But what do you say?” 

“Is this you asking to take me on a date or date me, because you’re not being precise here, Cal.” And he could hear her nerves, the anxiety slipping between the words. 

“I’m asking you to be my girlfriend, Arienne. My sweet, beautiful Arienne.” And she melted, the anxieties simmering down as her lips grew into a small smile.

“I’d love to be your girlfriend. On the condition that you tell those nosy buggers, that have been snapping photos of us for some time, to fuck off.” Calum couldn’t help but laugh before his met hers in a sweet kiss that sent her toes curling and her heart racing.

“I’ll only tell them to fuck off if they haven’t gotten a good picture of us together.” 

Ari lifted her hand, the backs of her fingers trailing against his cheek lightly.

“Eh, you can just get them later. Can we stay here for a bit?” His hands dropped from her face, his lips met hers once more as his hand took hers. When their lips pulled apart, he helped her shift in a comfortable position to lean against his chest as they watched the sun creep higher into the sky, the sounds of the sea washing over the two of them.

“Best idea I think.” 

—

Coming back from their road trip, there was a definite shift between the relationship. And Ari could feel it. But at the same time, she knew that this shift would favour both of them in the long run, or at least, that was what she hoped.

Once they were home, it turned into nervous energy and eventually once everyone else had called their goodbyes and disappeared, Ari could feel the nerves and anxiety return full force.

Ari began to unpack her clothes, ignoring the elephant in the room and Calum wasn’t having any of it. But he allowed her the time to unpack her clothes and put them in the washing machine, so once she’d shut the door and turned on the machine, his hands rested on the counter either side of her.

“Calum.” Her words were shaky and he pressed a gentle kiss to her neck.

She turned in his arms as he crowded against her, his body pressed against hers.

“We need to talk about us, Ari.” His words were quiet and she nodded, tilting her head back to look at him.

“Do you know how frightened I am of letting you see all of me?” The questioned stunned Calum and he cocked an eyebrow. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Cal, you’ve only ever been with skinny girls. Or at least, what can be seen from the pictures. I might be able to sleep with guys with no ease but there’s no emotional attachment. I don’t care about them. You? Do you realise how gutting it would be for me if, if it got to that point and you just-“ His lips cut off her rambling, keeping her pressed against the counter. 

“Stop. I like you for you, sweetheart. What I wanted to talk about was how do you want this to be handled because you know the tabloids are going to be cruel.”

Ari lifted her head almost defiantly. Calum smirked. 

“They can say what they want. I might have my own insecurities but I’ll be fucked if I let them ruin us.” And he grinned. 

“That’s my girl. Will you let me in? Trust me with all of you?” As he spoke, he began to guide her from the room, heading upstairs to her bedroom. She barely noticed, her eyes on his.

She knew that if she said stop, he would, no questions asked. But as they slowly made their way up, his hand in hers, Ari found herself not wanting to stop. 

She was nervous, but she wanted this, wanted him. 

They got to her room, the door softly clicking shut, but it sounded like a gunshot with how quiet they were.

He was waiting. 

He was waiting for her say so. And she realised then that if she had to fall in love with someone, she was glad it was him. 

“Make me yours, Cal.” She finally whispered. 

His lips met hers, her body melting to his touch and Ari allowed him to take her to new heights. 

The way that he’d worshipped her body, made her cry out his name as her fingers raked through the cropped hair, only to grip his biceps, Arienne was feeling overwhelmed.

But as Calum pulled her closer, his lips finding her shoulder, she couldn’t find it within herself to care about the anxiety.

“Round two, or do you think we need to clean up a bit?” His voice was gravelly, teasing and she couldn’t stop herself from burying her face into his chest as he laughed.

“You’re the worst, Hood.” She finally peeled her head back, her eyes meeting his. His lips were curved up into such a cheeky grin, she could feel her heart melting a little bit more. 

“But you love me right?” 

“Undoubtedly.” Came her answer and his heart soared as he pulled her closer, lips peppering every inch of skin he could reach. Ari shrieked, a giggle following as she tried to pull away, laughing as he continued the welcomed attack on her skin before he gave in to her pleas for him to stop.

“How about we get some food? I know you don’t have any in the house and we need to pick Duke up.” 

She snorted before agreeing and soon the pair of them were re-dressed, his grin appearing as he spotted the very visible mark he’d left on her neck. His fingers reached out, brushing it gently and she hummed softly.

“You didn’t get away scott free, Hood.” Her own fingers reached up to the marks she’d made, visible over the collar of his shirt. He laughed.

“Wanna take bets on how long it will take before they’re spotted?” 

“Five minutes.” She teased as they headed out.

Picking up Duke was quick and easy. He didn’t protest being in Ari’s lap, content to let her stroke his fur as they headed to their favourite take out place.

Cal went in to do the ordering, and Ari spotted the paps easily, making her roll her eyes as she focused her attention on Duke. 

“Camera’s, three o’clock.” She called to him as he left the shop, bag swinging. Lifting his gaze, he spotted them easily and sighed as he slid into his car, starting the engine up and leaning over to kiss her.

“If it’s a headline they want, it’s a headline they can get.” He murmured with a smile, making her laugh. 

As they drove past the spot that the pap was lurking, both of them raised their middle fingers up, peals of laughter escaping them both as he switched on the music and Ari was taken back to the shared moments on the road, just the two of them.

When they got back to hers, she immediately got some food sorted for Duke, having cared for him enough times for Calum when he had to travel out of state for games she couldn’t go to. He set their own dinner on the countertops, getting plates for the two of them before dishing up the meals. 

She accepted the plate with a small chaste kiss which left her grinning as they settled at the dining table, his phone going off.

It was Ashton.

“Nice to see you two really taking care of Cal’s image.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about Ash.” Ari teased, knowing exactly what he was referring to. He let off an exasperated sigh in return.

“A photo of you two kissing, also someone has spectacularly zoomed in on the marks that someone left on my boxer.” The accusing tone made Ari laugh, Calum trying to hide his snort of amusement.

“Couldn’t be helped. It was skin begging to be-”

“Don’t wanna know thanks!” Ashton cut her off, the two of them breaking out into giggles. He sighed loudly before they calmed down, the giggles relaxing into amused smirks.

“Sorry Ash. I know you’d rather have us wait a few days, but I couldn’t see the point. Half the world knows I’m in love with her, so I might as well have confirmed it sooner or later.” Calum finally apologised and Ashton groaned.

“You two are ridiculous. I’ll send through the photos I got of you two on vacation, so you might as well use one of those to make it that ridiculous notion of being official. Cal, we still on for training after the weekend?” 

“Sure. Match booked I’m assuming?” 

“Yep. Also you have a rematch with Tarkston eventually. I’m working out a date with his management and then we can put together a regime. Which means no more takeouts.” The stern tone had the two of them grinning.

“Sure. Look, text me the details and we can start working on a basic routine on Monday. For now I don’t want to think about anything but spending time with my girl.” 

And there was the warm feeling that filled her heart, a beaming smile lifting at her lips as the call ended and his hand reached over to grasp hers.

And Ari felt that sense of warmth throughout her whole body, and she realised that he’d become her home. 

For the first time in years, she felt at peace.

-

tag list: @cals-babylons​​​​ , @glitterprincelu​​​​ , @calumspeachy​​​​ , @novacanecalum​​​ , @cosmocalum​​​​ , @monsteramongmikey​​​​ , @talkfastfletcher​​​​ , @hereforlukescruff​​​​ , @astroashtonio​​​​ , @catchinqcalum​​​​ , @5saucewho​​​​ , @dontstopisagoodsongchangemymind​​​​ , @therainydays4​​​​ , @asht0ns-world​​​​ , @silverchainbee​​​​ , @hidd3nfangirl​​​​ , @doodleasouarus​​​​ , @empathycth​​​​ , @mylovehes​​​​ , @songforhema​​​​ , @kinglyhood​​​​ , @youngblood199456​​​​ , @makecoffeenotwars​​​​ , @sunny-sos​​​​ , @softboycal​​​​ , @kinglycalum​​​​ , @you-of-ghost​​​​ , @meetyoutheremgc​​​​ , @lmao5sosimagines​​​​ , @lietoash​​​​ , @aw-hawkeye​​​ , @drummerboy794​​​​ , @itjustkindahappenedreally​​​​, @mycollectionofnuts​​​​, @abitloudforanaccousticset​​​​, @boytoynamedcalum​​​​ , @teampreator​​​​ , @dukehoods​​​​ , @dweebluke​​​​ , @calumculture​​​​ , @lashtoncurls​​​​ , @wildhearthood​​​​ , @gigglyirwin​​​​ , @blue-skies-are-alright​​​​ , @hearts-to-the-sky​​​​ , @tiddlerrr​​​​ , @all-i-want-is2b-loved-by-you​​​​ , @zooniah​​​​ , @cakeassx-blog​​​​ , @rotten-kandy​​​​ , @vipclifford​​​​ , @musiclover1263​​​​ , @rosecoloredash​​​​ , @jpgluke​​​​ , @cathartichaoss​​​​ , @5secondssofssummer​​​​ , @balsamichood​​​​ , @cliffordstxngue​​​​ , @lukesbellas , @myloverboyash​​​​ , @cxddlyash​​​​  , @gabiatthedisco​​​​ , @rosesfromcth​​​​ , @gorgeouslygrace​​​​ , @calumsssparkle​​​​ , @valentinelrh​​​​ , @meetashthere​​​​ , @softforcal​​​​ , @cakesunflower​​​​ , @sweetcherrymike​​ , @fangirlforever0704 , @caswinchester2000​​​​ , @long-termplanwithshort-termfixes , @josierosie​​​​ , @ashtoniwir​​​​ , @raabiac​​​​ , @burncrashbromance​​​​ , @killerlukesqueen​​​​ , @angelbabylu​​​​​ , @heartbreak-5sos​​​​ , @geeksareunique​​​​ , @singledadharrington​​​​ , @singt0mecalum​​​​ , @sugarcoated-pain​​​​​ , @sublimehood​​​​​ , @americanhorrorstudies​​​​ , @moonchildsblack​​​​ , @uncrownedqueeen​​​​ , @softforluke​​​​ , @lostincalum​​​​ , @colourfulcalum​​​​ , @calpops​​​​ , @rosecolouredash​​​ , @aftermidnightclifford​​​ , @nine-butterflies​​ , @dammitbands​ , @calpops​ , 

[jlf23tumble]

Agree so much with your post about the teams and fan engagement ! And love the way you articulated all of that. Although now I definitely am interested in knowing what your notes about the specificity of each team/artist cause I feel like they'd be fascinating to read. Hope you'll post them some day, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us ! 😊

Awwww, that’s very kind! It’s definitely head canon city, I litcherally have ZERO clue what goes on behind the scenes (and I can’t stress this enough, none of us do), so this’ll look hilariously dated when we find out that blah woof was true all along, lmao (me @ myself, thinking of some random Grimshaw interviews from last fall, oh, bless). Let’s dig in!!

For those of you who just stumbled upon this post, it’s related to the one I made last night about how I think the management teams of all these men (mid-20s means = you’re a man, not a boy) are not, in fact, sabotaging them. They negotiate a lot of tricky interconnected arrangements that none of us are privy, to, plus they’re at least trying to achieve the goals their clients are going for. And they’re doing it—the trick is these goals are highly individual and not 100% sensical (at least given our own view from the afternoon, Arctic Monkeys ref, holllllllah!!!).

In addition, these goals constantly shift, as does the music industry itself—I drive my own self loony when I lurk on blogs that are seemingly broadcasting from 2012, confused by why xx’s team is so “terrible” because they aren’t throwing good money after bad to get on a radio playlist, or why they haven’t announced yy “properly,” as if they’re being paid to worry about this level of shit (which fires me up on about five levels, deep breaths in, deep breaths out). I’m much nosier about the signals we’re getting when we hear them talk in their beautifully media-trained way about their musical interests, when we get some of that sweet, sweet fan service with a Gallagher or a Capaldi, when we get that heads up about who’s attending what concert, stuff like that. These signals don’t necessarily indicate future collaborations, but they DO indicate what kind of image these guys want to have, the kind of music they want the public to associate them with.

Anyway, I’m getting ahead of myself…their personalities and goals at the moment are all so vastly different, and I truly do love seeing how their teams are workin’ it accordingly. Again, please @ god, don’t @ me…opinions, massively unpopular opinions, dead ahead!

* Zayn. My read on Zayn is that he enjoys the creative process, loves writing and singing, digs collabing with people, but he doesn’t seem to give two shits about the biz side (and why should he? that’s called living the dream at this particular point in his career). His website recently added “tour,” which EYEBALL EYEBALL, but he doesn’t seem to be all that interested in putting himself back out on stage or into radio/print/etc. anytime soon, and again, why should he? His numbers are HUGE without pushing himself through the anxiety-provoking churn he endured for four years, so there’s no real drive for him to do any promo if he doesn’t want to (see: the netflix-like binge dump of Icarus Falls, which could be “sabotage,” or it could just be, “fineeeeeeee, here’s some stuff for you, enjoy”). What other artist gifts his fans with gorgeous covers of such a wide variety of songs that indicate he’s more interested in sharing them than selling them. Accordingly, his fan interactions seem fairly pure and not all that promo-y: he has a keen interest in fanart, he’s done some fan pop-ups/listening parties that are pretty low-key and *seemingly* fan-focused, and recently (with zero anything to really promote), he’s been posing for cute pics and chatting with randos on the streets of NYC. I recently read that his mgmt team is no longer with him, but that sort of folds into my feeling that he’s not pursuing anything biz-wise, hence no need to jump through those particular hoops (I think he’s also struggled with a lot of demons, so yeah, why add one more). Could he be adrift? Maybe, but the next guy is the posterman for lack of focus….

* Liam. Honestly, I worry about Liam most of all. His post-1D career seems very much adrift, and I like to joke that he’s giving me that tell-all about the D one sentence at a time, but goddamn, are people listening? The struggles with alcohol, the lack of focus on every level, the reliance on his dad’s career advice (which more clearly reflects his dad’s financial class, background, and history than it does Liam’s), and the overall confusion about look, sound, and direction also flow back directly into his team. I get the feeling that they aren’t sure what to do because LIAM isn’t sure what to do or what he wants, so they follow in his wake. He’s agreeable to a fault, so seeing him at a meet-and-greet at an HMV in Birmingham last week felt like a step back into 2010 for no real reason, just like hearing that he was more or less coerced into full nude photoshoots for an underwear ad (the decisions to say yes to both of those—who’s steering this ship? If it’s Liam, he needs to tell the team his overall goal, so they can plot a course he and his fans can follow; if it’s the team, ditto). Like Niall, Liam’s actually pretty good at the SM game: lots of selfies, snapchat filters, outfits, gym service, twitter interactions. But generally speaking, his promo is confusing, and that’s probably because there isn’t much *to* promote at this point, other than a mix of collabs, clothing endorsements, spon con, horse farms, and an album that’s always on the horizon. This might be tied to the general post-1D jolt they all went through, like a plane coming off autopilot and into the hands of someone who’s just learning how to fly it. Zayn debuted at number one, so his bump wasn’t as harsh, but the others are slowly, steadily finding their footing after taking some time to find themselves and their sound, releasing songs/albums, performing (or in Louis’s case, going through unspeakable tragedy). Liam’s still adrift…and somewhat admittedly, which is kind of telling in its own way. Just know that my nervousness on his behalf ratchets up every time he feels the urge to assure us all that he’s happy.

* Niall. Truly the one following the original 1D template, right down to working with most of the same people but with more of the overall control in his hands instead of a faceless management squad. Of any of them, he seems the most ambitious, the most scientific about the sound he’s after and how he’s gonna get there. His promo is a mix of new and traditional—radio shows, talk shows, podcasts, special events, twitter interactions with fans, twitter interactions with entertaining celebrities—and it’s all hustle hustle hustle, build build build, as if he were a new ingenue instead of coming up hard on solo album number two. He’s explicit in his goals, which is refreshing, but it means he walks a weird line with fans: on one hand, he’s done with their bullshit, get ready to get rekt if you start commenting on his boring food seasoning or home décor. But on the other hand, he fully recognizes how much he needs them, which is why we get so many peeks into his “normal” life (yet zero percent of his actual personal life). It’s also probably why the blatant tweets of the last two days seem so jarring to me (I might be alone on this one, but I’m not a fan of directives in general, and asking me to call radio stations on behalf of a rich white man to become even richer just rubs me the wrong way, same with asking me to stream stuff to get you to number one…you’ve been there, buddy, how about you calm down and build some character at number 51). And speaking of calming down, it does fascinate me that both Niall and Louis namecheck Taylor Swift as someone who gets the whole fandom push/pull thing right, so watching them try to reverse-engineer her secrets is fun. Louis nails it (that hotspot treasure hunt: chef’s kiss), but Niall’s heavy-handed easter egg dump in NTMY, she would never!! I think Niall’s team needs to watch “Calm Down” about five more times before they try that again.

* Louis. I think Louis honestly has an AMAZING team in place, and they’re all clearly on his side, which makes for a refreshing change. Like Niall, he has publicly praised Taylor Swift for how she engages with her fans, but I think he’s missing a key point: she doesn’t let her fans dictate strategy, and I HOPE that’s the case for Louis, too. His old team *was* shit, so yeah, encouraging people to do fan projects to get the word out was a good idea, but turning that spigot off to let a good (paid) team step in and take over has been, uh, challenging. He’s dealt with more than his fair share of personal tragedy, but every time he gets some momentum going, it feels like something bts pushes him back off track, and he tends to keep it private, which only makes his hardest-core fans scream “sabotage.” Rightly so, he’s focusing on his personal life, and rightly so, his team is giving him the space to do that, even when it costs cash money and throws a lot of shit seriously for a loop. It makes my heart soar to see the potential of what his team can do/is doing, how much space he’s being allowed to process what he needs to process. Weirdly, that’s an unpopular opinion, and a lot of people want to indulge in an angst wank fest where Louis’s the victim of a terrible team that won’t DO anything (nevermind the fact that he’s probably ASKED them not to do anything), so they undertake a tremendous amount of performative unpaid labor that ends up being counterproductive on just about every front. Even worse, most of them can’t seem to process the fact that losing your mum is a blow, losing your SISTER is a blow, juggling other siblings or close friends handling some serious demons of their own in the aftermath of all of *that* is a blow, let alone handling your own personal coping mechanisms, nope, they want Louis to release release release, perform perform perform, c’mon, what’s holding him back, he *said* he wanted to release an album this year, there’s “no reason” for a delay, gotta be his shitty team, free him. It drives me ‘round the bend because it’s the same talk from late last year, you know, when we later found out that at least one family member was losing a fight with drug addiction. Louis’s fan engagement/promo is therefore hella fraught: he has to balance LouisTM on twitter (Mr. Donny, he’s hard, mate), his werk IG posts, and his constant edging because nobody can remember or trust that he’s got this, that multiple things are in play. But he also knows his fanbase, knows that it’s resistant to any kind of change, so I hope he pushes through and stays true to what he wants to do. I was really encouraged with his last promo round because he seems to have narrowed in on a something solid, he’s got a plan, and it’s not, “hey mr dj, put my record on,” it’s getting his fans to trust that he and his team know what the fuck they’re doing, and spoiler alert, it ain’t radio, but go ahead and keep pissing off djs by sending angry tweets their way. (Related: why is it so bad to avoid the radio when all of us admit that radio music is garbage? Is it because it’s more about you than him? Much to think about.)

* Harry. My very favorite head canon is that Harry is Jeff’s nightmare client: what was perfection at first because the Azoffs are old-school promo all the way (no SM, baby, gimme that sweet, sweet paper), and that dovetailed nicely with post-1D Harry, but it quickly veered into mulish teeth pulling. Low profile can quickly spin into no profile, and that really doesn’t work too well when you’re trying to sell sell sell, even if your brand is Harry StylesTM. HS1 and Dunkirk in their own separate ways worked VERY hard to push past the still-persistent way the general public views Harry as boybander Harry Styles, or more accurately, former boybander Harry Styles who dated Taylor Swift (if you venture out and ask someone who’s not a fan), but what I love about Harry is that much like Zayn, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered by all that. Sure, he’s ambitious, he wants to challenge himself and do things, but he’s no Niall Horan. He’s put in his time! If he gets a number one, then cool, but he’s not gonna chase it. And this is where Harry’s team really reflects his goals and energy: sure, they want him to do some promo (that “Do” tweet, the entire bit about the fan in Australia and Harry Lambert’s follow, goddddd, I loved it, petty Harry, resigned Jeff), but they clearly aren’t forcing him. He drops a song that makes a HUGE splash, and the follow-up is…liking some tweets and going to a John Mayer concert (not a John Mayer fan, so that wouldn’t be my first choice, but I respond to the zero fucks given about the whole thing). The music industry has changed a LOT in just two years, so it’s kind of cool to see team Harry pivoting a bit, seeing more SM interaction, the kindness generator, etc., but that said, the team takes their cues from him, and he clearly doesn’t want to do a whole promo circuit beyond persons a, b, and c, and magazine R, F, and A. Does it make sense to have Rob Sheffield write a profile about Stevie Nicks-blessed shroom-eater Harry Styles when his new song sounds like the Zarry combo of my dreams? NOPE, but that’s okay, Harry wanted to talk to Rob, so that’s what happened. The new song is more streaming friendly, and thank CHRIST, a lot less crusty white dude stuck in the ‘70s, so I can only hope that the rest of the album is thus, but we shall see! We’ll also see if Harry’s fan engagement shifts any further into the active zone…so far, it’s been “I’m gonna follow some larries, like these fun generator posts, check out a few dads” and staged photo ops with the same familiar faces, but I think he’s dealing with his own major bts issues as well (album delayed at least twice; that entire stalking situation). I still contend the album’s coming in the next few weeks, so it’ll be interesting to see if/how any additional promo rolls out in this new world order post-gryles landscape, how many interviews he’ll do, but I like that there’s a strategy that seems less stodgy…kudos to the new SM team, at least!!

Oh man, that got really long! Hope you enjoyed, and YES, opinions opinions opinions, and they’ll be stupid in about three weeks’ time, thanks for coming to my already dated buzzfeed article

[spirit-shroud]

If you could wear a character's outfit, who would you choose?

me and my decision paralysis are going to pick a top 3 because it really like. depends on the day, y’feel me? i have many styles ranging from just how much effort i feel like putting in to where i’m headed

somedays its like. ‘i dont want anyone to be able to perceive my physical form and i want to be as inconvenient as possible’ so id go w alphonse elric armour

like. hell yeah. that’s what im talking about babey,,, 

other days its like ‘i need to be the most attractive and well-dressed person at the grocery store’ which makes me immediately think of THIS BITCH, this absolute monstrosity, this god awful menace of a character, Nui Harime from KLK (that anime was good once btw like just tossing that out there that it has absolutely zero rewatchability even by my standards lmao but when the characters were dressed, the style was rad as hell). like. look at her. the cute flower dress. gigantic bow. rad eyepatch. that’s like, everything i want. 

(legit tho i see cute dresses and its like. horse blinders are ON this is all im gonna think about today but like. the effort required. the pre-planning. the drama :/) 

n somedays its like ‘i have been personally victimized by god’ so its a good day for like. whatever this is. anyways this is allen walker from dgm and legitimately every time you see him he looks like a dork. his outfit in this episode was like. green bandana that we never saw again and then under his trench coat was just like. black pants, white shirt, red western bowtie. hes baby. he’s my son. his sense of style is the exact same as mine. it’s whack. 

also unrelated but i had to go take this screenshot myself instead of just stealing it from the wiki and let me tell u it was an Ordeal and the quality isnt even that good. there werent even any close up shots of the actual outfit ref i was looking for so like Why Even Bother

anyways yeah so my 3 fashion moods are p much ‘if you look at me i will Die’, ‘alarmingly effeminate’ and ‘very masc but like, in a gay way’ 

[kayfabejake]

WWF SummerSlam 1996 PPV Review

Here we are with my second PPV review in as many days! Hog Wild and SummerSlam were very very close together so I’ve been feasting on a cornucopia of 90s wrestling goodness...or, in the case of these two particular PPVs, okayness. Let’s get munching already!

WWF SummerSlam 1996

Date: August 18th, 1996 / Arena: Gund Arena - Cleveland, OH / Attendance: 17000 / Tagline: “Opposites Attack!”

Commentary Team Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Mr. Perfect

Owen Hart pins Savio Vega in (13:23)

Why does Owen Hart’s theme sound like the Girls Just Wanna Have Fun instrumental?

Why DQ Owen for using his cast? If he can’t use the cast for safety reasons, definitely don’t let him wrestle for safety reasons lmao

JR (I think) says “the finest of all the Hart wrestlers is Owen!” um, I doubt it.

Owen using the cast was directly in the ref’s line of sight because Vega didn’t bump him...smh c’mon guys

Solid fucking match right here tbh. Good psychology, entertaining wrestling, fun heel work by Hart

My Rating [3*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [2.5*]

Fatal Four-Way Elimination Tag Match for the WWF Tag Team Titles Billy Gunn & Bart Gunn “The Smoking Gunns” [c] def. Marty Janetty & Leif Cassidy “The New Rockers”, Henry Godwinn & Phineas Godwinn “The Godwinns”, and Skip & Zip “The Body Donnas” in (12:18)

This match’s rules make no sense and it’s so boring. 

Apparently like...you can tag in other teams? Somehow? So Billy Gunn is required to wrestle Bart Gunn at one point? The fuck?

I don’t really get the Body Donnas’ gimmick either, as their bodies are not in amazing shape

You know things are bad when you say the sentence ”the most talented wrestler out of the eight in the match was Marty Janetty”

Apparently Leif Cassidy is actually Al Snow! huh! doesn’t make this match any fucking better

Way better than this piece of shit match is the ad afterwards for Cleveland public transit where the Godwinns race the Gunns to the arena--except, the Godwinns take the bus and the Gunns take a horse and carriage. Sunny cutting a promo on the Godwinns for cheating by riding the bus is hilarious.

My Rating [0*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [DUD]

 Sycho Sid pins The British Bulldog in (6:24)

Sid has a fun insanity gimmick but quite frankly he’s just outshined by Mankind in that department. Sort of like a Walmart / Chanel situation there

A lot of movement and impressive slams

Sick vertical suplex from Bulldog

The commentators can’t stop putting over Cleveland. Why? You’re speaking to the PPV audience. The arena can’t hear you.

A shot of Cornette in the locker room with Vader. Dear god, I adore Jim Cornette so much. Such a lovable grump.

Distraction from Corny leads to a win for Sid!

Sid absolutely fucks up Bulldog on the final powerbomb without even looking strained

My Rating [2.75*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [1*]

Goldust w/ Marlena pins “The Wildman” Marc Mero w/ Sable in (11:01)

So apparently Goldust is thirsting after Sable, which leaves us with two possible conclusions: either Goldust is a bisexual icon or the sexual politics of mid-1990s WWF are murky and regressive. I wonder which one it could possibly be 🤔

A very creepy Goldust cosplayer is watching quietly in the front row

I love Goldust’s rope bounce--he gets lower than most wrestlers and sort of sinks into the ropes, leaning back a good bit. It gives the way he slings back more credibility

My Rating [2.75*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [2.25*]

Jerry “The King” Lawler pins Jake “The Snake” Roberts in (4:07)

Any justice that I feel seeing Jerry get caressed by the snake is cancelled out by how awful this whole storyline is. Vince creating this storyline, exploiting Jake’s alcoholism, and then acting on commentary like it’s awful how Jerry is acting really breaks my ability to buy into the kayfabe because it is so reprehensible

And Jake has to lose and be humiliated just so Mark Henry can show up in a storyline? This is fucking awful.

My Rating [.5*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [DUD]

Boiler Room Brawl Mankind def. The Undertaker in (26:40)

Love both these guys, and I love the Boiler Room Brawl stipulation. It’s just so weird and unnatural and savage. Incredibly entertaining.

It might run a litttttle bit too long though, to be honest

I do not like the lack of commentary either, i dunno why they just stopped talking

lmao you can hear the sound guys dialing the crowd noise back in specifically for the nutshot on Taker

Foley elbow drops onto the concrete floor we stan a bump king

Holy shit and the bump onto the tarp and ladders? Jesus

okay, it is WAY too long

the wrestlers cheering them on is so cute

HOT COFFEE SPOT HOLY SHIT

somebody screamed “he’s dead!” after mankind took the bump onto the concrete

NO PAUL DONT SCREW THE DEADMAN

Undertaker being taken out of the arena by druids is fucking amazing

My Rating [3.25*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [NONE]

Wow, Meltzer is a stern daddy. No fun, no fun.

World Wrestling Federation World Heavyweight Title Match Shawn Michaels [c] pins Vader in (28:59)

God, I love me some Jim Cornette!

things we know about Shawn Michaels going into this match

he thinks he’s cute

he knows he’s sexy

he’s got the looks that drive the girls wild

he’s got the moves that really move ‘em

he sends chills up and down their spines

god shawn michaels’ hurricanrana over the ropes and then backflipping back over the ropes...the man exudes big dick energy

Vader wins via countout, so no title

MEANING JIM CORNETTE MIC TIME HELL YES

Shawn Michaels is going another round okay!

And another one after another DQ finish!

More Cornette talking which is dope

Ugh fuck the McMahon commentary era, you CANNOT expect me to believe that a dude named Gorilla Monsoon was ever president of the WWF

SWEET CHIN MUSIC AND A KICKOUT!

Vader moonsaulting never fails to impress me. wow.

Shawn hits a moonsault and pins to retain!

My Rating [3.75*] / Daddy Meltzer’s Rating [4*]

Overall PPV Grade [C+]

A few dope ass matches, and a few real fucking bores and bummers. A great main event, fun spooky shit for my goth side in that Boiler Room Brawl, and a healthy dose of Cornette makes sure I have a soft spot for this PPV--but personal preference aside it’s nothing special and underwhelming for a SummerSlam, to be sure.

-11/14/18

[clumsyclifford]

hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU