#so many characters jfc

[pendragonsgallery]

@roszabell asked me to post this and I delivered

Hetalia Characters as things said by my college friend group:

America: “Just because I haven’t had sex doesn’t mean I don’t know the basic components of it! I wasn’t in the Revolutionary War but I still know what happened. I know how it started- I know the foreplay, and the aftercare is just the Constitution. It’s not that complicated of an issue.

Canada: “Yeah I could take down a moose. If I can dive quick and tap it in the nuts it’ll go down guys, trust me. I’m a moose expert.”

England: “You look like a guy in the 1940s being drafted for war. Why are you mad, at least I didn’t call you British. I held back just for you.”

France: “What if I want to be a rich bitch? Is that respectable?”

Spain: “If my parents had told me they were having another kid, I would just say no. I’m the princess here bitch.”

Romano: “vapes are so gross. If you’re going to be addicted to nicotine, at least smoke a cigarette like a real man.”

Germany: “How did I, as a twenty year old man become the mother figure. And why am I doing it so well?”

Prussia: “Just Dance? Bet. If I’m making money, I’ll twerk like there’s no tomorrow.”

Italy: *very confidently* “Some people like hard liquor and I like fruits in my yogurt! I see no difference.”

China: “I know how to tell if there is inflation. It’s determined by dip in dots prices”

Japan: “I’m just staring at the goldfish crackers… and they’re staring… back at me.”

Russia: “anything is possible if you believe in yourself and that if that includes you deepthroating your ice cream… then who am I to judge I guess.”

Austria: “I can assure you that people twerked and got down hard to Ode to Joy and absolutely should continue to do so. Shit slaps.”

Hungary: “I’m gonna beat you with my shoe out of love.”

Denmark: “Well you know what else bitch??? You’re mom- I mean my mom- your mom- my-your- fuck I-”

Lithuania: “I drink black coffee cause I need ✨validation✨.”

[momento-di-fratellanza]

'I was briefly a runway model.' Yeah, no doubt. This mf is gorgeous.

[fras-redacted-shapes]

Alright let's go - Ramblings regarding Saga, in comparison to Jesse and "The World"

if anyone feels like expanding on any point please do, I'm gonna leave this text as it is because otherwise it's gonna torment me for weeks

I don't recall in which interview, a couple writers said Casey was developed because Saga needed someone to bounce ideas off of and/or because she needed something to externalize her personality without relying on awkward exposition (or something along those lines).

And that's kind of noticeable if you compare Saga's and Jesse's treatment from a writing/presentation stand point:

Jesse as a character is far more obscure and details about her inner life are limited, while Saga is established and very detailed without relying on exposition.

Jesse, from a technical standpoint, suffers the "new character introducing an audience to a new IP" syndrome if you will.

Jesse's past is presented in vague details and a general sense of direction: finding Dylan who is a stranger to the audience. Her inner monologue is to Polaris and it works as exposition but by Polaris' nature there's no back and forth.

When Jesse talks to a character it is always a one-to-one conversation, and an important portion those are about the history of the FBC, asking questions that require exposition. Not to mention there's no interaction between the main cast other than with Jesse.

Some information can be inferred from Jesse's "epilogue" lines after the end of the game. But that's about it regarding the main text.

And that goes in line with the thematic difference I feel between Control and Alan Wake games - the former (heh) is about The World, the later, about the people in it.

Overall it can feel quite isolated and lonely, or well, mechanical. You have to fill in a lot of info yourself. And I believe the writers identified this and tried to change where they could with Foundation and AWE - with the way Jesse and Emily are far more comfortable with each other as they joke and tease during their dialogue, and getting a deeper look into my beloved Langston's personality (which is quite self-aware because lmao, finally it's Jesse who's at the end of a one-way "conversation").

But Saga's has an already established and rich life before the story and details bleed all through the text.

A partner and friend she's known for years and their history is spoken and written, there's no need to infer and fill in details yourself that much.

Their relationship is detailed enough in "side tidbits" (all of her Mind Place stuffs) and in actual conversations, which often enough involve a third party.

Casey works as exposition for Saga's character but, by virtue of Casey being character apart from Saga, the information is introduced far more organically (and arguably, in a more detailed way).

Remedy also gave Saga a huge advantage Jesse didn't have: The Collectible and Missions menus are hers.

So not only we get to hear Saga's thoughts on the current situation, we also get a sneak peek into her mind and inner life.

Some people in Saga's life also have a detailed enough history that they stand on their own rather than solely working as Saga's motivation because the story requires them to be at stakes.

Dylan is, technically, a stranger to Jesse, she's clinging to the past idea of him: we are motivated to find Dylan because we're told to care about him. While Logan and Casey are present in Saga's life and we get more details upfront to care for them.

Saga got curious, shit started to go down and we want them to be safe because otherwise it'd be painful for Saga.

Unlike the ghosts that Trench and Darling were to Jesse, Saga gets to actually talk to Tor and Odin. And well, the entire plot of the game is her undoing and confronting Alan's work on her life, rather than cleaning the mess done by the previous administration that are now gone and cannot be held accountable for.

And I suppose that's another improvement in the writing: the Hiss as the antagonist force is basic (and if you've played Mass Effect they're nothing new, and to me they're the least interesting part of the wolrdbuilding). There's not much room to maneuver, so Jesse's got one way to fight them (so far).

Saga could've gone several ways in dealing with Wake, and we see her struggle when she's about to give the Clicker to Alan/Scratch, she didn't mince her words in that confrontation and she had all the right to go even further. And yet she kept it together, unwilling to fully give herself to despair.

AND!

She chose compassion in the end!

And, honestly? Their final conversation is such a good and rich detail.

Saga's motherhood could've remained as basic reminders to the player that she has a daughter who's the victim and that's your motivation girl! As well as her silly jokes because parents do that sometimes teehee.

Saga's compassion is informed by her motherhood but not limited to it. As a mother she knows that everyone needs someone who believes in them unconditionally, as a daughter she knows how good a reminder of your good qualities can be, and as a detective she knows how to gather, read and act on information.

So when she reminds Alan that he had defeated the Dark Presence before and that he can do it again, she's not saying it because she's desperate, and she's not being patronizing due to Alan's loneliness and isolation.

She's saying because it's true.

And she doesn't rub his missteps and mistakes on his face. She knows how to get the point across without being mean.

She needed very little guidance: information to fill in the blanks of her life from Tor and Odin, short and vague phone calls from Alice, and a portal to the Writer's Room from Ahti. (Rose's lunchboxes were technically not necessary but she gets a honorable mention.) I don't know if there's enough information to conclude whether the reminders that helped her find a way out of the Mind Place were sent by someone else or came solely from her own resilience, and either would be neat, but I would like to think there's someone who's been looking out for her the same way she's been looking out for other characters.

And she's not flawless, but in working her flaws I believe the writers treated her with well deserved respect. She's not a caricature and the story has enough characters being tortured, any more and it'd feel cruel and it'd be permission granted by the horror genre anyways (although, to be honest, I believe Cynthia's treatment was a tiny bit too cruel and that's mostly due the last stage of her boss fight).

I love her first conversation with Norman because she's being a bit patronizing (I believe that's the correct word?), but he's like, nope! No dementia here! Not cool you brought it up :]

Her Nightmare Mind Place is as explicit as it gets. And the few times she loses it are not unearned. I love it when she gets frustrated with Rose and her "Oh fuck this", as well as her pained "My daughter is dead because of you. What is wrong with you?" to Alan in the holding cells.

Her biggest flaw is being a fed.

She's an extremely well put together person and integral, rich character. Her pain and suffering are palpable and the developers did an excellent job in showing it without being cruel (or well, knowing where to place the cruelty *cough* the white man *cough*).

And that's, in general, where I'd call attention to the leaps in improvement to Remedy's writing, right alongside the development and treatment Alice got, and the departure that is from Marshall in Control (the one character of color of any sort of relevance to the story, who got the least dialogue or details about her life and involvement despite being part of the old guard, and that gets killed in the end).

-

I have the same criticism (affectionate) with Control and Quantum Break: the world, its history and other characters are more interesting (to me) than their protagonists.

I wanted to get far deeper into the inner lives of Beth Wilder, Paul Serene, William Joyce and Martin Hatch than Jack's. William's and Beth's specifically, the one who ruined everything and the one who's struggling with the fact it can't be fixed, respectively. Sure I got my fix from the novel, but that is not part of the main text, so my comment still stands.

Ahti and Polaris/Hedron's goals, The Oldest House and all the places and events and phenomenon it connects to is what makes my mind wander. Jesse's involvement with all of them and her relationships with other characters remain only as possibilities at the end of the game.

I would feel far less affection or attachment to either Jesse and Jack if it weren't because of the sibling element. That's my huge bias/weakness there I'll admit.

But with Saga, I do care about her entire world, everything and everyone that surround her. She likes weird, morbid stuffs and romance stories, she's extremely curious which got her in trouble but was responsible enough to go deal with it.

As a new protagonist character that stands right next to a well established one as Alan Wake, I think there's very little Remedy could've done to make her better.

She's just amazing, Remedy and Melanie Liburd deserve so much praise for her.

-

The only gripe I have about her treatment is extremely petty and it's the same I've had in previous games, which is technical - she could've had more animations that showed her body language given she didn't have as many live action scenes (and also watching some of previous Melanie's work, she's got an incredible voice range for certain emotions that weren't explored in the game). But that's a matter of presentation and technical development.

AND

Remedy flexed the leaps in improvement they've gone through already! I mean, Saga's animation of picking up things anyone???.

So here's hoping they got more plans for her and they include more live action.

[panikkar]

thinking about how the three of the biggest relationships in bucks life are pretty significantly tied to helicopters/helicopter crashes,,, (partially inspired by this post by @maygrcnt)

taylor kelly: met her when her news helicopter crash. not the first person he seriously dated but definitely is the most serious romantic relationship he had yknow. can’t forget the whole couch metaphor arc.

eddie: i mean it’s pretty self explanatory but eddie’s helicopter crash when he was in the army caused him to be discharged and forced to be reliant on his family again, which is what made him move to la, where, of course, he met buck. they’re literally thee most important person in each others lives. they’re besties. coparents (when the only help eddie’s had as a coparent is shannon, who left (no hate to her it’s complicated shit and she did die but still she did), and his parents, who were controlling and not what either of them needed and also just generally really shitty to eddie at the time (ESPECIALLY re his parenting). and then buck comes along and like within a year he’s like i trust you with my life and my son and my sons life! after everything!! and puts buck as chris’ legal guardian in his will—) n e ways yeah that but also eddie’s ptsd related to the whole helicopter crash incident was super significant later in their relationship too bc eddie was at his lowest point (a place he’d been before but back then, his wife left him and his parents actively made everything worse instead of helping) and buck just like. steps in WITH eddie and gives him what he needs and like takes care of eddie and chris in they way they both need instead of forcing them into what he thinks they need like eddie’s parents did. yeah. and eddie actually did some healing then unlike the last time. so eddie is easily the most important and serious and intimate (like platonically but also Not) relationship buck has ever had, more so than any of bucks gfs.

and then tommy comes around!!! a fuckin helicopter pilot. he and buck first meet not necessarily in a helicopter crash but in a helicopter. in an emergency situation. and they draw SO MANY parallels between tommy and eddie and taylor (he and eddie have a lot in common like with the whole army and martial arts stuff and they get really close really fast and then BUCK HIMSELF drawing the taylor parallels. literally biting at my enclosure.) and wow! look at that! they kiss (and soon start a relationship) and tommy is literally not only the first man buck has ever kissed, but also the catalyst for buck realizing he’s bi. (or, at least, that those feelings bucks had for men in the past (cough cough eddie) are like mushy romantic/sexual/Very Not Platonic things.) literally even if they just kissed that once and had no relationship past that it’s still a massively impactful (non)relationship for buck!!!

and somehow. somehow the most important relationships in bucks life are all connected to helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they’re only characters who have such big connections to said helicopter crashes/emergencies. and they all have relationships that are incredibly important and impactful to buck. this is literally canon.

[raetreaderarts]

“𝑺𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖, 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔."

Tried to do some perspective shit, idk if it worked. Like it always starts out looking fine but then the further along in the process I go it just vanishes, y’know what I mean? Anyways yeah I’m thinking about DE with her hair down, based off that one concept art from the crk art book where she’s got her bad 4 outfit on. I’d love to know how y’all think it would look in its natural state though, like I’m genuinely curious

[fairyroses]

She was the only thing I was living for. I’m sorry for your loss, sir, but right now we need to get you airborne. Police will be here any minute. I’m well aware of that. I’m turning myself in.

— SMALLVILLE, “Bizarro” (7.01)

[asgardian--angels]

rewatching eccleston's run in doctor who and MAN do those old episodes hit hard

there was something so human about RTD's stories that have been lost from the last few years of the show. I loved 11, and I adored 12, but admittedly there was a fundamental shift when Moffat came along where the story became about the Doctor more than the companions, and the companions became special people instead of the ordinary human the Doctor needed to keep him from tipping over the edge. RTD's stories were corny at times but they were viscerally human, and focused more on the regular people than the Doctor. And of course Eccleston was so phenomenal in the role, his profound sorrow, his fresh wounds, his darkness. Some of these early episodes absolutely gutted me, like who gave them the right to make Father's Day. I don't have a fraction of the emotional response to anything post-Amy & Rory. I really do miss the heart that the older seasons had, as well as their ability to invoke real fear and real anguish, true loneliness, and pure hope.

Not to mention the fact that I will never forgive them for retconning the outcome of the Time War. So much of the Doctor's character, his grief, his pain, his fury, is tied up in that, and it's what makes the emotions surrounding him so potent. I want him to have to live with it. Taking back the genocide of the Time Lords is the worst writing decision - decisions, because they've messed with it so many times now - that the show ever made in its later seasons. I love the lore of Gallifrey, the imagery they built, its signature leitmotif. Heck, my favorite episode is still The End of Time. I hate that they ruined that and took that away from the earlier doctors.

[turbo-tsundere]

“It's not a butterfly yet, so why is it blamed for not being able to fly?”

[jtownraindancer]

Ace's TURИ for Burn Rewatch: Eternity How Long

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

An Emerald Crown

Come suffer with me

Pairings: Creativitwins, platonic DLAMPR (background), gen

Trigger/Content Warning: intrusive thoughts, abandonment issues, suicidal thoughts & ideation, suicidal Remus, panic attacks, dissociation, suicide attempt (kind of?), touch-starvation

Description: On bad days, Remus wants nothing more than to be taken care of. The Imagination obliges when no one else will.

Extra: Hey look, it's "The Imagination is some entity of its own and is overly protective of the twins" hours. It's angst time, folks. Come suffer with me!

[Masterlist] | ao3 link

[Read under the cut]

The Imagination doesn't just answer to Creativity's call, but it tends to have a mind of its own, as well. 

So, when one of the twins is a little too lost and distressed? It will not hesitate to take care of them. Sometimes, that means leading them to a calm, warm place to let them rest in. Sometimes, that means closing itself off from everyone but the twins and not letting anyone near them until they're okay again.

Sometimes... sometimes that means stopping them from doing very harmful things before they end up Faded. 

~~~

Ya know, sometimes it just hurts too much to be alive. 

Okay, not alive, per se. Just existing. Sometimes existing is overwhelming and people say things, and then your f*cking thoughts are roaring at you- and all you want to do is tear off your skin and bury yourself ten feet underground. Let your corpse rot away and fertilize the soil. Let your lungs and organs decay and molt and feed the damn maggots wiggling in your stupid f*cking bones. How'd they get there? They'd have to bite into your skin and eat their way through veins and muscle to get to your bones. God, and now they won't stop wiggling inside of you and it's just so awful. 

Remus' bad days are a lot worse than the Others could ever imagine. 

Have you seen the sh*t he deals with on a good day? He isn't just the crude humour and uncomfortable commentary parts of Intrusive Thoughts. He's all of it. He tends to the Nightmare realm when he sleeps- which is dumb that he has to work when he sleeps- and that entails whatever wacky sh*t that the Others have going on inside their heads. He sees things and hears voices and knows the little shadow monsters that everyone has. It's not all bad. Virgil's monster loves to snap and bite at Roman's, and it's really f*cking funny when they start to brawl. It distracts them from spilling lies into those two's heads, at least. He can hear when the Others have those slimey, icky thoughts. When Logan thinks his value is equal to what he produces, when Janus is stuck in his own threads of lies and overcorrects everything, when Patton feels grey and numb and so lost because he's not sure what's helpful anymore. And when that happens, he always helps because f*ck that. They don't deserve to be tormented like that, and he loves them. He cares. He cares, and he won't let any sh*t even touch them if he can help it. So yes, he f*cking helps them out when those dumbass thoughts get overwhelming. 

Now see, Remus thrives on chaos. That much is clear, considering he's him and he's a little trash kraken. He loves throwing people off. It's really funny when they try to chase after him for exploding the kitchen again, even though they never quite catch him as he cackles down the halls. 

But as much fun it is to f*ck with the Others, he isn't exactly... excluded from being f*cked with. He has his own sh*t, his own intrusive thoughts. I mean, of course he does. He is Intrusive Thoughts, it wouldn't be more fitting for him to suffer alongside everyone else. And he's learned to manage them! They're not all that bad. Houses on fire and knocked out brothers? Not that bad. 

It's just when they get louder do they get more graphic. 

Sometimes the more graphic things are fine. Really, they are! Who doesn't like messy dissections of frogs and Lovecraftian horrors stitched together like a kid poorly made a f*cked up plushie for their friend? It's fine. Those are tolerable. It's fine. 

Then, there are the times when... when they aren't very manageable. 

When they start to whisper old lies from past arguments, how bad memories could become real again, why would they ever care about you? Worthless and irritating, it's a surprise that they even tolerate you. They'd leave you if Thomas let them. They'd leave you without a second thought if given the choice. Oh, why would they ever love you? Stupid child. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You're so worthless.

Remus has bad days, and today is one of those days. 

~~~

He's not sure if it starts with waking up, but it starts somewhere. 

As per usual of the Others, debates and arguments are being flung around like monkeys throwing their own literal sh*t at a f*cking wall. Or like viscera splattering on the ceiling. Something happened with Thomas that made the resident emo freak out, and Logan is too busy trying to calm him down to deal with whatever the f*ck Janus and Patton are arguing about. Probably some dumb moral crap that he couldn't care less about. Or maybe some weird parenting differences when it comes to Virgil. Out of everything that's happened, no one expected them to become co-parents- but hey, might as well. At least they aren't throwing hands. Actually, no. That'd be more interesting and fun to watch than this sh*t. 

And Roman is trying to butt in with actual good advice for once, but hey, no one's listening and Remus is this f*cking close to hitting them all with his morningstar. God, do they ever shut up? He's literally right there. Roman's hard to miss. But yep- oh, Virgil's freak out is leaking to the Parents(tm) and now they're all joined into a mismatched argument. Great. 

So yeah, a normal f*cking day. 

Thomas already agreed to relax and take it easy, what the f*ck are they even arguing about?

Maybe you should leave.

He ignores his brain. That one's nothing new.

Leave them alone. They don't need you.

That one's also nothing new. 

"Virgil, there's nothing we can do right now. Please, just try to calm-"

"Don't tell me to f*cking calm down!" 

"Language."

"Yes, because his swearing habit is definitely the thing we should be focusing on."

"Virgil, please just listen-"

"No. No, Logan, you need to listen! It's f*cked and we f*cked up and I-" 

Virgil gasps and chokes, unable to breathe properly. It's like his lungs are bound and tied by horrible rope, and he can't stop shaking.

"Whoa, kiddo-"

"Oh, sweetie-"

Virgil nearly staggers, but Patton catches him as terrified tears fall down his face. He's stuttering gasps and breathing sharply, and- oh, sh*t. Sh*t.

"Hey, hey. We've got you, sweetheart. Just breathe with us, okay?"

"Can't-"

"You can, sweetie. It's alright. Shh, just breathe."

Virgil whines, and then Logan is holding his hand and rubbing soft circles on his knuckles. Virgil's Tempest Tongue still bleeds through his voice like watery tar. 

It takes a while before anyone speaks again. Luckily, this specific attack appears to be a short one.

"There we are, little one," Logan speaks gently as his friend tries to get a hold of breathing again. 

The encouragement urges him to keep trying. Eventually, his panic lets him have his lungs back and he's trembling less. He slumps in Patton's hold, now exhausted, and gets passed off to Janus as the other two mutter about arranging something. A pair of hands hold him tight, the warmth of another person filling his chest with safe, safe, safe. Another hand is carding through his hair, and a fourth one is thumbing away any stray tears. Virgil nearly closes his eyes. 

Roman joins Patton and Logan, summoning the fluffiest blankets he can think of and asking where they want them. The Others are making a soft little nest of comfort on the couch. Janus is holding on to a now-clingy lump of spiderling, and said spiderling is refusing to let go. As everything is set up, they all move to the nest and Virgil is cuddled relentlessly by the Others. His head is in Janus' lap, laying across Logan's and Patton's legs, and Roman is making sure everyone's comfily snuggled up together. Janus still cards a hand through the emo's hair. Logan is tracing patterns on his arm. Patton holds his ankles loosely and hums a calming lullaby. Virgil feels warm and safe, and exhausted. His eyes close as someone suggests a distracting and quiet movie, so he can just rest. His breathing evens out as he hears Janus mutter something about yes, sweetie. you can sleep, it's alright. 

All while this happens, Remus stands there, frozen and distant. 

All he can hear is his own blood roaring in his ears, and the dumb little words his brain likes to tell him. 

You can't do anything right, can you? Why are you just standing there? He needs help, and you do nothing. What the f*ck is wrong with you, not helping your older brother?

It's like someone blocked out every other sound. Ya know his ability, the one where he can muffle out everyone else and then his 'target' can only hear him? Remember when he used that on Thomas, in his introductory video? Yeah, that was fun.

But now it feels like someone else is mimicking his ability and doing it to him, and he hates it. He hears his thoughts and his blood and nothing else. What, did his ears decide to be picky? Why would they do that? Stupid f*cking ears. That's not how they're supposed to work. He's supposed to hear things. Hear the Others, hear whatever the f*ck they're talking about. How else is he supposed to do his job? Motherf*cker.

And his limbs and joints are frozen, stuck like they need oil or something. He's a stood-still tree, a demented statue. He's still standing in his spot in front of the TV, staring distantly, and omg- limbs, please move. 

No one's paying attention. I need to move, why can't I move?

Why would they pay attention to you? They need to look after Virgil. He's more important. You're just a little worthless pest.

Stupid, hopeless pest.

He wants to scream at his brain to shut up, but his throat is thick with ash and dust. It's dry and cracking like a crumbling cliff into the sea below. Maybe he's the cliff, crumbling down. Drowning aimlessly into a sea. He can't move, so maybe he is really drowning. 

And he wants to help Virgil. He f*cking knows how to help him. For Devil's sake, he lived with him for years, of course he knows how to help. Virgil was there when he was a newly-separated Side, lost and confused in the dark. He and Janus took him in. Virgil was like his older brother. He always took care of him, even when he felt scared or uneasy around him. He cared. He still cares. He needs to help his older brother. 

Let me move! I want to help him, let me help!

Why would he want you? You can't even do anything. Do you not care anymore? Is that really how you should treat a brother?

He doesn't notice when he starts trembling. All he knows is he can't move and can't help, and he feels so useless. Seeing Virgil hurt and panicking scares him. He wants his friend to be okay. He wants him to be safe. 

But he can't do anything.

It'd be better if you weren't there at all. Then, you wouldn't be hurting him by being so useless. Leave, leave and never hurt anyone ever again.

"...Re?"

Remus doesn't hear whoever calls for him, sinking out as soon as he can move again. 

~~~

Remus' crown is silver and cracked, adorned with shiny emeralds. 

It's a pretty sight. Something broken still being something important and beautiful. It's supposed to be symbolic for how Remus is, or at least just a cool accessory for him to wear around his own kingdom. His kingdom is a bit more chaotic and messy than Roman's, perfectly reflecting who Remus is. His 'half'. Well, not so much as his 'half' as it's simply his domain and section of the Imagination. 

Back when the twins were still getting used to being two instead of One, they figured out a system for creating in the Imagination. I mean, the Imagination itself might've helped a little, but the twins were pretty proud of themselves for coming to an agreement. They would have their own spaces to create whatever they wanted, Roman's fanciful kingdom and Remus' nonsensical nightmare-land. But, though having separate spaces, they also made a space for them to share. To create things together, just like being One again. Sometimes, when one or both of the brothers needs to seek refuge, they go to their shared space to just exist there. 

Maybe it's all the messy nostalgia of being closer as kids, or the faintest feeling of being whole, but it's Remus' favourite place to go when days get bad. All the creations they made as kids still stand tall and mighty, unwavered by time and conflict. It's the one space the twins wouldn't ever dare to ruin or touch. It holds too many memories, too many safe nights under the stars. 

There's a small tower there. It's protected by a lava-and-eldritch-horror moat to keep those inside safe and warm. Remus had made the moat; Roman made the tower. It has nothing but comfort inside. A bed of the fluffiest blankets and softest pillows, weighted plushies to hug to you until you snooze away, a fireplace that can be adjusted to your heart's content. Colours of mixed gold and silver, red and green. It's the safest place there. 

And maybe that's why, as Remus sinks out from that damn living room, he yearns to go there. 

Since he is Creativity, just like Roman, Remus can sink into the Imagination without having to use one of the doors in the Mindscape that leads there. And just like Roman, he doesn't even need to think about it. Just a feeling, maybe a yearning, and he's there. 

And that's where he falls to. He sinks inside that safe tower, plopping himself straight- ha, 'straight'- onto the warmest bed he's ever laid on. He's still in his average Duke outfit, but a quick snap of his fingers fixes that. Now in soft things, he buries himself under a large weighted kraken. He wraps the tentacles around himself, reminding him of his own. Hiding his face in the plushie, his own green tentacles sprout from his back and cling onto the weight on him. It's like being hugged and hugging back- which is something he doesn't remember too well. When was the last time anyone gave him a proper hug? 

...not for a while, it seems. 

Suffocate in it. Why would they ever touch you, creep? You always damage whatever you touch.

That's a relatively normal thought for him, but with all the everything from today? It just adds to the mound of f*ck-you his brain is throwing at him. And the reason it hurts is because it isn't wrong. He knows not to listen to icky greenish thoughts, but he's made of those. So... it just- f*ck. Just f*cking God.

Virgil is still semi-scared of him. Patton freaks out, disturbed by anything he says or does. Logan just seems so bored with him, just like he's a little pest and Logan is the Bug Exterminator meant to squash him into bug bits. Janus is used to him, but in such a way that he just... he knows how to tune him out and ignore him. How to distract his attention. He shouldn't be enticed by some of things he contributes, but it's not all like that. He's not just Intrusive Thoughts. He's also Creativity, and Janus knows that. He knows that, but he never seems to act like it. He just... pushes everything aside. Janus wasn't always like that, but when Virgil left? After Virgil left for the Lights, things just continued downhill. Remus should be used to it by now. It's been happening for a long while. 

And Roman? Well...

We've all heard how he feels, haven't we?

All that being said, who the hell would ever touch him? Hug him, hold him? Dry his tears? Yeah. Yeah, that's... yeah.

Remus' crown is small- so is Roman's, technically, for being a prince- and it sits heavy on his head. Like now. He can feel the weight of Duke on his head. He shakes his head, and it won't fall off. Right. When the twins were still young, they'd made it so their crowns wouldn't ever fall. They dualled a lot- god, how long ago was it when we last did that?- and with all that exercise and moving around, enchanting the crowns was common sense. Sometimes, Remus forgets how close they once were. Certainly nothing like now, that's for sure. 

He tries again. The crown stays stubborn atop his head. He wishes it would just let go. 

But when does he ever get what he wants? 

He huffs, giving up. The crown feels heavier, especially since he just tried to refuse it. Now it's not the weight of Duke that hurts, but the weight of brother and Creativity that makes his heart ache. He hugs the kraken tighter, wishing it would just crush him into the little pest that he believes himself to be. 

Pest? Oh please, you're far worse than a pest. An annoying little brat, a useless little Duke. You don't deserve that crown, now do you?

...do I?

Do you?

Does he? Does he deserve a crown atop his head, pretty and shining? Does he? Does he? 

Maybe he did once, when he was young and still learning the things he could do as Creativity. But does he now? Now, does he? He isn't sure. Has he ever been sure? Perhaps not. If he doesn't deserve a crown, then what does he f*cking deserve?

Nothing.

Nothing?

You deserve nothing, nothing at all.

Nothing at all. I deserve nothing.

A question, an option, a decision- it settles in his gut, twisting his intestines like the wrong kind of moth. 

If I deserve nothing, then... shall I stay? Is it worth staying?

His mind goes quiet, finally, for the first time that day. 

Oh, I see.

He decides, chooses, answers the question. The silence of his mind is deafening. The silence is the answer, and it feels resigned. As if there was never any use in fighting in the first place. 

I understand now.

But he doesn't. No, he doesn't understand. But he isn't one to back out once a decision is made. 

It's so easy and simple. Why haven't I done this before? It's so easy.

Easy, yes, but that's the problem. Why is it so easy for him to come to this conclusion? And it's not like he hasn't thought of this before. Maybe that's why it comes so quick to his mind. Maybe that's why, but that still doesn't make it okay. He deserves to be okay; why can't he see that? Is he really that far in his head, trapped in unwanted thoughts?

Yes, it appears he is. 

He wonders if a note is worth leaving, just a simple goodbye, but decides against it. 

Who would ever f*cking care if I was gone?

The Imagination shudders as Remus thinks such a thought.

~~~

The Imagination is a lot more sentient than the Others realize. It's also very observant. 

It sees a lot of things. It sees the little Duke sink out into the safety of the tower. It sees him cry and try to hide behind a weighted kraken. It sees how he is lost in thoughts, most of them intrusive. It feels the sad, the upset, the confusion. It feels the resignation as a final decision settles in the little Duke's mind, determination following. It sees how he tried to refuse his crown and how he seems so upset that it won't let go. It feels how tired he is. It sees, it feels, and it is horrified as its precious Creativity decides a note isn't worth it. It's horrified not because of a lack of a note, but because of what that means. It realizes what he intends to do, and it shudders. It realizes, and it's horrified for its little Duke. 

The Imagination is furious. 

Not at Remus- no, never at Remus, it adores him- but at whoever let him suffer like this. How long did they let him feel so low? It knows he struggles, and it's seen him on bad days, yes. But... but they've never gotten this bad. Are his thoughts always this hostile? Has it just never noticed? Who the f*ck hurt its baby like this?

The Imagination sees its little Duke, its baby, sitting up on the bed. His tentacles are put away. He's moved the kraken off of him, sitting at the edge as he plots. He thinks. He's thinking of ways to- oh, poor child. Please, please do not leave. 

It hears his thought rise up again. Who would miss me? he thinks. 

I would, my precious Duke. Both of us, your brother would miss you. He loves you, can't you see? I love you, my child, I do. I do.

There's a window on the tower. It's big enough to be an entrance on its own, but it's designed to be a big and open window. The Imagination blows a breeze to the little Duke, ruffling his hair. It sees the tears still silently falling down his face. It sends a stronger wind, not too strong, and ruffles his hair again. He sighs shakily, closing his eyes for a moment. He knows it's the Imagination. Of course it is, who else would notice? It always notices, always.

He lets the Imagination ruffle his hair a third time before he opens his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," is all he can say, sounding ages older and so tired.

Oh, the poor thing. The poor, tired little Duke. The Imagination wants to tell him no, you have nothing to be sorry for. It's not your fault, little Duke. It's okay. Stay, please stay with me. But it cannot speak, not exactly. Sometimes, it wishes it could. It would be so much easier to comfort its babies. 

It still finds ways to comfort and keep them safe, though. 

When the little Duke stands up, probably decided on a how to what he plans to do, the Imagination immediately blows a forceful gust of wind that makes the Duke fall back onto the bed. No, it insists stubbornly, stay. Stay. The little kraken huffs as he stands again, only for the Imagination to repeat itself. Stay, precious child, it says. Please, just rest and stay here. He starts to get frustrated as the Imagination won't stop insisting. It's pleading. 

"Just let me go. I wanna go, just let me go," he begs the Imagination. 

It hurts, it f*cking burns to see its baby like this. How to get him to stay, what would make him stay? Who would- oh. Oh, yes. It can do that.

It whispers, it calls, it tugs. It tugs, and a familiar Prince is summoned right next to the bed. The little Prince is dazed for a moment, but he shakes it away. He wears his usual outfit, red sash and white collared shirt. He looks around, curious as to why the Imagination brought him here, before realizing where he was. And who was sitting on the edge of the bed, in soft things, staring wide-eyed at him. As soon as he sees the tear streaks on his brother's face, he snaps himself into his own soft things.

"Remus? Is this where you've been? I was looking- hey. Oh, hey." 

He must've started crying again because the little Prince has this soft, caring look on his face. The Duke pales and f*cking shakes as his twin comes closer. He flinches away when he reaches out to touch him, and the Prince makes a comforting noise. 

What the f*ck, what the f*ck. No, he can't be here. Please, not like this. Please, please, please-

"Oh, Re. Hey, it's okay. I'm here, you're okay." 

No, no, no, no, no-

"Re, Remus. I need you to breathe, okay? Can you breathe with me?" 

He shakes his head violently, trying to inch away from his brother. 

"You can, it's okay. I believe in you. You can do it, come on."

The Imagination watches as its little Prince tries to coax his poor brother into breathing. It waits. It watches. 

Roman grabs Remus' hand- gently- and Remus flinches. He whimpers. 

Warm, warm, too warm. Too warm, it's too much-

"What- oh. Oh, Re, come 'ere." 

Roman manages to carefully scoop up his brother in his arms. Remus can't move, let alone breathe, and all he does is shake and cry and whimper. Roman knows not to overwhelm him, so he resists the urge to hug him tight. He simply sits him in his lap, rubbing a firm hand on his back. Remus gasps at the touch, subconsciously leaning into it. 

Warm, warm, warm, so warm, too warm, not warm enough, warm, warm.

"There you go, it's okay. I've got you, Re. Yes- there you go. I've got you, you're okay."

Remus can't bite back a sob as Roman coaxes him to lean on him. He leans against his chest, his head hidden under Roman's chin. He can feel Roman's chest and throat rumble as he holds him. A hand brings his own to feel a heartbeat in his chest. He feels Roman's heartbeat, steady and unwavering, beneath his palm. His lungs shudder as he tries breathing in. 

"Come on, Re. Try again, it's okay. Breathe." 

Remus tries again, and again and again and again. He tries as Roman holds him steady, holds him firm and still. It takes a while, but eventually he can breathe again. His eyes droop as his brother's hand moves from rubbing his back to carding through his hair. He melts, so tired and exhausted from today. The burning slows recedes into simple warmth as he stays in Roman's arms. He breathes. Roman breathes. He wraps his arm around Remus and holds him tighter, and all Remus can think is warm, warm, warm.

"That was a lot, huh? You got it all out, Rem?"

Remus hums sleepily. Roman chuckles. 

"...do you wanna talk about it?"

Remus stills, and Roman immediately wishes he never asked. 

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to if you don't wanna. It's okay, Re. You're safe, you're okay."

Remus lets himself relax again, and Roman sighs in relief. There're a few moments of quiet that makes the Prince think his brother fell asleep. That is, until he speaks in the smallest voice Roman's ever heard. 

"'ant to go."

"'Go'? Go where, Rem?"

Remus avoids looking at him, instead just burying himself into Roman's chest. Where would he want to go that would cause such distress? Where? Is it somewhere in the Imagination? Is it somewhere he doesn't know about? What could- 

It clicks. 

Oh. Oh, God.

His mouth is dry and feels like sandpaper as he realizes what Remus means. Go. 

No, no no. Oh Re, no. I don't want you to go. 

He tightens his hold on his twin, planting a kiss on his head of hair. He misses the cracked crown by an inch. He always thought it was unfair that Remus got the broken one. He never understood why. He still doesn't. 

Not the point. Focus on Remus.

"Re- Rem. What- why? Why do you want to go?" Roman's voice cracks mid-sentence. 

Remus feels something wet on his head, promptly realizing that Roman's crying. Oh, Roman is crying. He made him cry.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. This is why you need to go. Be gone, go. Go!

He stays silent for too long, apparently, because Roman is hugging him tighter and kissing his head again.

"Re, what's wrong? I promise you're safe with me, okay? Anything, no matter what. I don't want you to go, talk to me. Talk to me."

Remus snuggles more into his very worried brother, letting out a sigh. He didn't mean to make him cry. He hates it when his twin is upset, and it's even worse when it's his fault.

"I just... 'm sorry I made you cry. I don' wanna hurt you," mumbles slip out from the little kraken. 

"Rem, no- Rem, I'm crying because you want to- to... to go, and I don't want you to go. You didn't hurt me. I'm worried, not... I'm upset because I'm worried." 

"...why?"

Roman pauses for a moment, closing his eyes to process everything. Oh, Remus. Have we really let it get this far?

He opens his eyes, "Why I'm- Remus, I'm worried and upset because you're my brother. Because you don't want to be here and I love you, and... and I love you." 

Remus huffs, disbelief heavy in the air. 

"Rem, I do love you. You know that, right?"

"...'s not important."

"Yes, it is. It's important because you're important. You deserve to know how loved you are."

"Mhm, sure."

"Hey, Rem- Re, I love you. I love you. You're my twin and brother, I'll always love you."

God, Remus wants to believe him. He wants to believe him so bad, but it doesn't make sense. If Roman loved him, how hasn't he noticed certain things? Is Remus really not worth noticing? 

When he voices that, however, Roman is ready to f*cking punch himself because he has had some part in it. In this. And that hurts, it burns, it burns because Remus is his f*cking brother and how could he have let his brother suffer like this? He hates that he let anything go unnoticed for so long. 

"Because I'm a f*cking dumbass, and I let it go this far. I should've looked and saw and paid attention, and I didn't, and I- I'm so sorry, Rem."

Remus immediately looks up at him at that, confusion bare on his face. 

"What?"

Roman looks down at him, tears still silently gliding down his face. Remus makes a concerned noise, reaching up and wiping his tears away. He hates seeing his brother cry. 

"I'm sorry. I let sh*t go on for far too long. And- and I'm gonna make it up to you somehow. I'mma start by paying attention like I should've."

Remus' confusion worsens as he takes his hand away from Roman's face. 

"But- but it's jus' a bad day. It's fine."

"Oh, Re... bro-bro, if this was just a bad day, would you really be feeling this low?"

"Yes! It's- I'm always... I..."

Isn't this how it always is? Isn't that just how bad days are? It's not... I'll be fine. I'm- I'll be...

But I'm so tired.

Remus' eyes widen as a realization hits him like a morningstar to the head. 

When did this even start?

Roman holds his brother firmly as his thoughts fly across his head like ping pong balls. 

(ha, balls.)

(Shut the f*ck up.)

...has it ever really ended?

Remus exhales sharply, tears springing back to his eyes. 

Oh.

"Rem, bro-bro, it's okay. I've got you. You're gonna be okay."

Remus buries his head back into his brother's chest, too tired to shed his tears anyway. He feels Roman kiss his temple, clinging to his brother in response. 

It's another while before someone speaks again. 

"...what happened today? Did something just, like, set it off, Re?" 

"Mm." 

Roman rubs his back, and he melts into his brother's embrace. 

"Do- you don't have to, but... talking might help?"

Remus slightly nods. 

"'s just, um, I couldn't... 'member when Vi had a panic attack earlier?"

"Yeah?"

"I couldn't... I was frozen an' I couldn't help-"

Roman keeps his twin steady as he lets it out, knowing he just needed to speak. He holds, he cares. He cares, so much, and he holds him. 

"I 'anted to help. He's... he's my brother an' I couldn't do anything. He 'as there when you couldn't be, he raised me, he cares-"

Remus takes a stuttering breath. 

"He cares, and I know how to- to help 'cause I used to all the time, but... but I got stuck an' it was awful."

His cracking crown feels heavier on his head.

"He hurt an' I couldn't help."

"Oh, Rem..."

He huffs, everything pouring out. Once the floodgate is open, it cannot be closed until everything is out. And his floodgate of blood and acid and what the f*ck is wrong with me? is wide open. 

And it hurts.

"Sometimes, m' thoughts get loud and then Vi was hurt and I- I jus'..."

"It got to be too much?" Roman finishes for him. 

The little kraken nods, tired tears sluggishly gliding down his face. He sniffles. 

"It didn't feel worth staying anymore."

Roman's breath gets caught in his throat at that. He cards a hand through Remus' hair, noting how exhausted his brother is. How tired and how oh-so heavy his words felt. 

"It is, I promise. You're worth staying, okay, Re? It's worth it." 

"It- it jus'... it was a lot and I just 'anted it to f*cking stop." 

"I know, Re. I know."

"Hurts."

"I've got you, it's okay. You're not useless or bad. My brother, Re. You're my brother."

Roman wipes away stray tears as Remus finally slumps in his arms. He continues carding a hand through hair as his other one rubs firmly on his twin's arm. Up and down, up and down. A calming reminder of I'm here, you're okay, you're okay. 

"I love you, and I want you to stay."

Remus believes him this time, even for a few moments. 

"I love ya too, dork."

Roman snorts, kissing his brother's head again. Remus' crown doesn't feel quite as heavy anymore. 

"And I... I'll stay. I'll stay here."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Good, Re. My bro-bro. No one gets to hurt you. No nasty thoughts can take you from me."

Remus' tentacles sprout from his back, wrapping around Roman and hugging him back. A way of saying I'm staying, I'm right here and I'm staying. The twins hug each other for a while, up in the safety of the tower, curled up on the bed in soft things. Crowns are forgotten about as they no longer feel so heavy. One cracked, one whole. One silver, one gold. One adorned with emeralds, the other with rubies. 

Both little Creativities hold each other, watched over by the Imagination. 

~~~

The Imagination blows a gentle breeze to ruffle their hair, just before either one can fall asleep. The little Duke groans, huffing a purposefully dramatic sigh. The little Prince snickers at his brother. 

"It's like our f*cking mom."

"It is, isn't it?"

"God, you have no f*cking idea."

"Is that a challenge?"

The twins eye each other.

"...maybe later."

"Alright."

Brief silence. Its babies breathe for a moment, soaking up each other's warmth. 

"It wouldn't let me leave before you came over."

The little Prince holds onto his brother tighter, if that's even possible at this point. 

"Kept blowing breezes an' stuff. Didn't want me to leave."

"...neither do I, Rem. You've got the both of us."

"I know that. I just... hard to remember, sometimes."

"We'll just have to remind you, then, won't we?"

"Mm."

The Imagination warms the fire brighter in the fireplace, all that warmth settling into the little Creativities. The little Duke's eyes droop closed as he basks in all the care and love his family provides. Maybe it's just his brother and his mom, right now, but it's enough. It's enough for today, for tonight, for right now. A soft tune drifts through the tower, lulling the little Prince to sleep as well. A lullaby, something that once drifted throughout the entire Imagination when they were all younger. A gift of song for its children, its precious little royals. It watches over them as they drift deeper into slumber. 

It's not all gone for Remus, the feeling of needing to go. It doesn't just end as fast as that. There'll be other times, more times of insecurity. More times of feeling overwhelmed. Of needing something to stop.

No, he'll still struggle through it. But now, as he sleeps soundly and safe, he has people to help with it. The Imagination, in all its maternal care. His brother, in all his protectiveness and love. 

And the bad day ends as a good one, surrounded by those who love him. 

[pleuvoire]

(sorry i make a post like this every few months) man 2020 tumblr mdzs fandom was really just a minefield of scrupulosity havers taking it out on each other like how i had a friend for years who would constantly take out their scrupulosity on me and constantly lecture me about some kind of discourse faux pas i was committing and it made my own scrupulosity ntm my overall self-esteem so much worse. except like, a whole fandom full of people like that

[jade-of-mourning]

as far as i interpret canon, kaminari denki radiates "abandonment issues"* and "as a child i killed a man once (accidentally)"**

*citing the entirety of TUM 35 and every time he runs after kiribaku and his willingness to do literally anything for his friends

**citing every incident where he's concerned about hurting his friends in the crossfire and oh wait that's basically his entire hero growth arc that exists far in the background

[snorfbin]

.

[baejax-the-great]

I definitely was the cliche kid with the marine biologist phase, but on god I am still in my xenobiologist phase it is the dream it is the dREAM I want it so bad

[ultimatetrashgoblin]

Last night I made the decision to watch The Kissing Booth 2 because of Taylor Zakhar Perez

Aside from being miserable basically the whole time he wasn’t on screen, I couldn’t help but notice that in every role he plays he is just constantly radiating ACD energy

My man was born to play Alex

[goldstarhoochie]

cutie haters need to understand that sometimes, in relationships, people will fuck up. they won't do it with the intention of hurting their significant other, but because of a trauma response they have yet to realize. that is literally what is happening with cutie and geordi. if cutie was entering geordi's mind with the intention of hurting him, they would not have confessed to going into his mind in the break-up audio, geordi wouldn't have told them to go get help, and neither would he have implied that something might have happened to them in their past. the hatred of this character just shows me that far too many people don't know how trauma responses work and how they can impact relationships, both platonic and romantic. none of what i'm saying is me excusing the negative and the hurt that cutie has done. none of what i'm saying is justifying shitty behavior. what i am saying though, is that cutie is not a bad person. cutie is not a cartoon supervillain, like dr. doofenshmirtz or fucking zurg from toy story. they're a character with humanity and who i implied to be struggling with past issues that they're unaware are hurting them AND they're relationship. a lot of you are extremely emotionally immature people who know nothing about how relationships actually work, or are just pissy that the listener character in your fav piece of media did something shitty. some of you can see yourselves in cutie and it clearly bothers you and far too many of you act like self-righteous little shits and it's fucking annoying. fucking stop. you aren't cute, just plain annoying and fucking stupid. jfc.