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bestworstcase · 7 months ago

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You ain't wrong about fndm's lady/dude crit imbalance. I've noticed so much whataboutism & overlapping insistence that Oz/Qrow/Tai did their absolute best given [magic special forces duties], [hell world full of hell beasts] and/or [Salem/Raven's Selfish Dippage/Supermom's Loss], often with a side of 'you're just being blinkered stans who can't accept when ur waifu mains have flaws that need a-fixin' or should Get Over Themselves & Stick With The Program'. I mean, no denying the STRQ guys would be leagues less dysfunctional were it not for their situation's unique pressures and the immortals' contributions thereof (ditto for Ozlem thanks to the Bros), but I still don't think that causality chain fully corroborates this 'naught but vindicated put-upon sensei figures, the Bad Moms Doing Badness exonerate everything, it's Just How This World Works, we've been over this, STFU already' perspective nursed by long-haul fanposters and tons of general watchers.

truly. although i will say i Don’t think it’s fair to judge qrow as a parent because he wasn’t one, in either the biological sense (uncle) or legal (did not have custody) or familial (not a member of the household). so while certainly there are things he could have done better (gotten sober) (quit taking missions from oz for the sake of being around more to help out) (confronted tai about the wagon incident—tho we don’t know he didn’t do that tbf) short of either moving in to take over parenting or like flat out getting whatever passes for child services involved to force tai to get help or foster the girls himself for a while qrow didn’t really have a lot of material power in this situation. & both options he did have posed real risks (misfortune + the compounding trauma of a messy custody fight while everyone was still grieving summer). so

but yeah what gets me is "they really did try their best" and "their best was in fact inadequate and caused lasting harm" are not incompatible statements. Sometimes Your Best Sucks. that’s life. & sometimes when you’re deep in the throes of a traumatic situation or a depressive episode or alcoholism or what the fuck ever You Will Hurt People because you Don’t have the capacity to support others or practice empathy; you can’t draw from an empty well. that’s life!

it’s just also where the "intentions don’t negate consequences" principle applies; qrow trying to Be There for his nieces whilst struggling with alcoholism doesn’t make the harm done by his alcoholic behavior not have happened, tai’s depression doesn’t make neglect not neglectful, salem… existing at all doesn’t justify the choice to rely almost solely on child soldiers to defend his relics. etc

this is also the most compelling thing to me abt tai (potentially) staying near vale because of summer, at the expense of his kids; as soon as you bring "summer is alive and well and chose to leave him" into this equation you bring the implicit blame to the surface: is this woman responsible for his actions because she chose to end their relationship?

consider that the one thing we know with 100% certainty about these two is that summer did not trust him with her real self; her reaction to hearing him down the stairs is.

this, followed by slipping on a mask and lying through her teeth with practiced ease. (in comparison, when ruby is feeling acutely distressed she shuts down and gets quiet, which has the effect of making her distress visible but also small and easy to ignore or easily shunted aside by louder more apparently urgent problems. ruby tries to put on a happy face most of the time, but when she’s Feeling Bad the best she can do is small, strained smiles. summer turns around with a relaxed grin and makes a casual joke at ozpin’s expense.)

so—yang remembers "supermom" and ruby thinks her dad "misses adventuring with [summer]" and for eight volumes there isn’t anything to contradict this impression the girls have that their parents were deeply in love and happy with each other… and then our introduction to the Real Summer Rose is:

reading bedtime stories to her girls

the lies come out of her so easily!

she planned her rogue mission in secret with raven, who also left tai for hitherto unknown reasons that are now strongly implied to be that she felt like a failure as a wife and mother.

leaving aside the question of why summer chose to join salem (and why she faked her own death to do it)… this does not imply a happy or functional relationship. if nothing else whatever problem summer had that drove her to plan this suicide mission with raven was something that she, for whatever reason, did not feel like she could bring to her spouse/partner—and that in itself speaks to a fundamental absence of trust, but taken in conjunction with a) this Extremely well-practiced emotional disappearing act and b) how tai handles emotional vulnerability in v4 (NOT WELL!) it’s kinda…

well. the blacksmith shows this to ruby then remarks "maybe you’re not the only one who has felt the weight of others’ expectations. like alyx, like your mother," and the only character summer performs for in this flashback is. tai.

and—while the silver eyed warrior paragon-hero fairytale cult nonsense was undoubtedly the greater burden—i think the narrative is inviting the question here of to what extent perfect mother/perfect wife was one of those expectations, to what extent Raven Leaving was a shadow cast over summer’s relationship with taiyang, and how she might feel about all this with fourteen years of hindsight.

wrapping back around to the point about tai and culpability, you have on the one hand this implicit blame put on summer for tai having neglected the children after she left him and on the other this nascent question rising to the surface of: was summer even happy in this relationship, if she felt like she had to perform happiness often enough for it to be this easy? there’s the asterisk of course that what we see in this flashback was outside of the ordinary but the ease and confidence with which she slips on that mask bespeaks habit.

so tai fourteen years later is still pining for this partnership in which summer may or may not have felt an expectation to Be Happy (perfect huntress, perfect mother, perfect wife) and in which she certainly did not feel like she could bring her Desperate Suicide Mission Problems to her partner… and his parental neglect is all rooted directly in the intensity of his anguish after she left him… and she’s spent those fourteen years with salem and if they’ve not already crossed paths offscreen they’re certain to do so now that tai is like alone on patch with salem / summer / cinder for neighbors.

there’s an interesting reckoning being set up here, i think, with the unspoken implication that summer was the load-bearing pillar in this family and by removing herself from it she Made tai into a neglectful father—that’s the family narrative, dad shut down after mom left (died), but the narrative arc is beginning to culminate with "okay, why did mom leave?" and it seems to me that the natural trajectory from there is to really interrogate that question of blame.

#i am rly curious to see how summer feels abt tai these days #because it doesn’t… feel like… there’s a trajectory here toward (romantic) reconciliation. and that’s rly interesting #the fandom will of course be ridiculous about it but what else is new.

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sweetmariihs2 · 1 month ago

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Autistic struggles vent:

Today I went to part 2 of a Brazilian national test called "Enem". Almost ever high schooler does it. Part 1 is focused on language, history etc and part two is focused on math etc. I hate it. My mother registered me for the test and chose the neurotypical option, even though she knew I was autistic, yay! I don't know if it changed much, after all I didn't take the neurodivergent version of the test anyway. When I was preparing for the test, some really big names in the field of studies were saying that it was okay to write things on the packaging of the food you bring, since it doesn't break any rules of the test. One example they used was "Bis", a brand of chocolate waffle here in Brazil that comes inside a thin cardboard box and wrapped in small pieces of paper, in case you want to make notes, you know?

I bought one, more for the waffle than for the paper itself. When we got to the test room, we had to stay there for 30 minutes without cell phones, without talking loudly, and without the test, for some reason. I was really anxious and had the idea of drawing a picture. I took my Bis box and used the paper box to draw a picture of Cedric holding my OC Aurora's hands and comforting her about taking a test to be a royal sorceress herself. It was a little parallel to me, since he's my comfort character. When I finished the drawing, I put the paper in my food bag and waited, but the test time never came. That Cedric was really nice and I thought "I'm going to save it to put in my sketchbook, and cut out some parts to make some modifications". Out of anxiety, I took the drawing again and tried to open the paper material in two, so I had two sheets, like I was peeling off a sticker, you know?

The woman who was supervising the class simply took it from my hand and said "I'm going to throw this away", crumpled it into a ball and threw it in the trash can. It was so fast she didn't even looked at it. I didn't even had time to react, I just mumbled "but this is my drawing..." and after that I know I had an immediate shutdown. My chest tightened, my stomach went cold, my limbs went stiff and I couldn't move anymore. This always happens every time I'm called out on something, especially for example at school, when teachers ask me to pay attention when I'm drawing (I'm already paying attention, I have ears!). It's probably a traumatic response? Maybe.

I just know that they gave me the test right after and I was just completely tense. I couldn't look at anyone's faces, I could barely read the test, I couldn't think of anything at all, I just felt stress, nervousness, constant feeling of shame. I tried to read the test but I couldn't understand it or concentrate. I didn't eat the snacks I brought because all desire to eat simply disappeared, I couldn't even move properly, let alone unwrap the waffle, chew and swallow. After a few minutes I continued trying to focus on the test, and then I started reading and marking... but with each question I thought "at the end of the test I'll get the courage and ask for it back, politely, and explain that it didn't break the rules"

The minimum time for the test, to avoid being eliminated, if I'm not mistaken, is from 1:30 to 3:30 in the afternoon, and I stayed there the whole time, like that. I tried to do my best on the test, I managed to do it in parts, but what happened at the beginning caused me a lot of stress. On the last test, part 1, I left the room at 5:30 pm! This time I was killing time to stay until the minimum time to pass. I drew some Undertale characters on the test very poorly simply because I was very anxious and tense, I wanted to leave. I kept thinking and gathering courage for myself, because looking back, I was very anxious and in shutdown, speaking was difficult, and I had to prepare myself a lot to get the courage to ask the woman about the drawing I wanted back. When the minimum time arrived, several people handed in their tests and she went to each one's desk to get the tests. I was so tense that I didn't raise my hand. I kept raising my hand a little and lowering it out of nervousness for about 5 minutes. When I was ready, I called her and handed over the test.

When she approached me I asked: "Can I have my Bis box back?" and for some reason she acted nice and friendly and answered "yes, of course," and that I couldn't before during the test and a few other things. I didn't really understand if she was saying that she wasn't going to give it to me anymore, but then she said that I could have it, for some reason. I was too nervous to remember everything she said. I know she allowed it and the other girl who was with her took it out of the trash and smoothed it out for me. I gathered my materials and thanked her, picked it up and left.

My friend came with me to take the test so we promised to wait for each other if the other finished first. I'm here waiting for her in front of the gate. What a strange situation. Please be kind to autistic people, shutdowns are shit.

I can't tell this to my parents because they will be against me anyway. They will say it's my fault and that I should knew better than drawing during that very important test, and now I lost points because I take stupid things more seriously then studies. They don't give a damn about the shutdown or that I had an emotional breakdown due to my autism, only that I was drawing 🫶

#sofia the first #cedric the sorcerer #sofia the fandom #cedric the great #cedric the sensational #canon x oc #oc x canon #aurora the sorceress #my art #autism #autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergence

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 2 years ago

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have you ever had any of your fanfics copied without permission, what do you do in this case, lots of authors struggle with this, is there any solution

Yes, though not as flagrantly as some people's have been and it's never been personally targeted.

My stuff's been picked up by fanfiction scrapers (generally sites dedicated to backing up fanfiction archives, still traumatized by the great collapse of LiveJournal).

So, I suppose let's break this down with what you can do.

The General Scraping Sites

Depends which one, obviously, but usually the people running these are really just traumatized by the LiveJournal collapse. They're not looking for your fic specifically, probably never even read it, and are usually willing to take things down if you contact them and note that it was taken without your permission.

Look for a contact information and tell them that you didn't give permission for the story to be uploaded there and give the stories specifically.

Sometimes this isn't the case, in that whoever's running it doesn't give a fuck what you think, and in that case read on a bit for things you can do to mitigate the problem.

Some Jackass Copied Your Fic to Wattpad/Ao3/Wherever

Here the rules are generally the same.

Contact the admins/help and note that the story was uploaded without your permission to this alternate site. They'll generally take it down (especially in that you have the proof that your original version is clearly older).

Obviously depends on the platform (Ao3's very responsive, I don't know much about Wattpad so can't say, Fanfiction is uh dying. I would expect 0 response from Fanfiction.net)

Someone Plagiarized Your Work

They changed the title, maybe even the OTP, but it is word for word your story. Here, I think you're out of luck unless you're on Ao3. Ao3 allows the reporting of plagiarism and will put someone on the case.

You're going to have to deal with a lot of bullshit drama from the person that stole your work and is claiming it's totally different because your fic is about Steve Rogers and theirs is about Tony Stark, but you'll probably see some movement.

If not some fandom bitterness depending how big each respective fic was.

Some Other Things You Can Do

Most scrapers target fanfiction.net as there's no means of blocking the fic behind a login screen. If you get off ffnet and put your fics behind the "login users only" you'll cut down on 90% of bots scraping your fic (they still can, of course, but it's generally not worth the scripter's effort and the more altruistic ones will take it as a sign that you don't want it copied to another site).

This is the easiest solution to most of these things.

The other is, if you find out about it, and you don't get any traction through the above methods, make a fuss. Leave a comment noting that hey, this is actually X fic that I wrote months before this existed. The wrath of Thor will come down upon you, depending how rabid their fanbase you will be slandered left and right, but it will make a ridiculous commotion, an internal fandom war, and will draw attention to the plagiarist in a way they probably do not want (being called out as a plagiarist who actually didn't come up with any of their material).

In the event that that doesn't work...

The atomic bomb/pyrrhic victory is you hold your fics hostage. No updates until the plagiarized fic is taken down. Now, they're in a very tough situation where they have to come up with new material themselves (and they know it's going to not be any good). Their own readers will probably call them out on the lapse in quality, it will make things very very uncomfortable, and may be enough to prompt them to take it down.

However, they may just stop updating as you stop updating and then there's no updates for anybody.

Though it takes a truly trollish person to have gotten to this point already and most people are not that skeezy.

#writing #advice #fanfiction

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amazing-spiderling · 10 months ago

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for the fandom ask game: 5 6 11 16 23 24

something you see in fics a lot and love

I really love seeing Foggy sort of leap-frogging over his panic and anger and confusion in moments of crisis to get right to the part where he works on being helpful. That, "We are going to fight about this later, but right now I need to stop that bleeding" sort of thing. Foggy is absolutely allowed to have emotions and fall apart in a crisis, but he has a good head on his shoulders and certainly after a certain point he's had to learn to compartmentalize just to survive being in Matt's life. I think it's comforting to imagine having a friend or partner like that- I guess it speaks to the idea of there always being an undercurrent of love. No matter what else is going on in the moment, no matter how furious or scared or worried the events taking place right now make them, they do not supplant the love that is at the basis of the relationship. I just think that's neat.

something you see in art a lot and love

When artists really have fun with the clothing, paying attention to details and making things really specific. When someone really pays attention to drawing a certain kind of shoe- I'm just... yeah, that's the good stuff. :)

if you’re a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

Well, I'm a little bit of both- but I guess a fic sprang to mind first so I'll answer for that. (tw for fictional CSA mention btw) So, as I've not-so-casually mentioned, one of my first big/long term fandoms was Metal Gear Solid. And I know that some of the memes from that series have escaped containment, and to the outsiders it might look like "Call of Duty but with the occasional zany moment" but it does have a lot of story (too much, some might say XD) and intricate character relationships and lore and, ugh it's just SUCH fertile ground for art and fic and all the things that make fandom great. But, it *does* also very much appeal to gamer dudes of the usual type. And normally this is fine, the transformative fans and the archival fans largely keep to their own fandom spaces- but sometimes there is crossover that rubs one group or the other the wrong way.

One such case is that there is a character who has an "affair" with his step-mother, but I put that in quotes because when the dust settles, it turns out this happened when the character in question was 16. There is TERRIBLE fallout from the event (family trauma, suicide, estrangement) and the game plays it all straight- this is something that broke the already fragile family to pieces. BUT for a long time, the joke was "haha character banged his stepmom". Which. Ew.

Anyways, I always really wanted to write a story that sort of expanded on those events, not the actual relationship/abuse/fallout, but more the events that precluded it, mostly what made the character an easy target. (Isolation, otherness, a lack of confidence in who they were as an individual). Basically, I wanted to really tell a story that treated the matter with the needed level of seriousness, if only to say, "hey, this isn't a punchline, this is a traumatic experience".

I ended up watching, "The Graduate" a few times as sort of... research? Partially for tone, partially because the themes and characterization in that movie matched the vibe I was trying to go for in my own story. (I can't help but think that Kojima, known for referencing movies in his games- might have had it in mind due to some shared imagery.) This was maybe the first time I did something like that, watching a movie to pick it apart for nuance in tone, as opposed to looking at it for canon events, timelines etc.

So that story ended up being, "Surface Tension", which first appeared in the "Metal Gear Solid: Lost Years" zine, and then eventually got posted to AO3. It's not my best reviewed fic by a long shot (understandably, it's a difficult subject material and not shippy or anything), but it's one that I can say I am proud of.

a tiny detail in canon that you want more people to appreciate

Wow, this one is tricky for me- I feel like a lot of fans are way more detail oriented than I am when it comes to canon. I'm always the one in awe when people are like, "Oh in episode seven, this one song is playing in a car as it drives by, and that's significant because it came out in 2013 and that was the year that..." and i'm just like "you guys know the names of songs?"

I guess to that end- I always liked the line in, I think it's season 1 where Matt says it's a "90's Top 40" kind of guy. I think it's really funny because people characterize him as having... well, let's just say "better" musical taste, but like, no. That dude would bop his head if you played the Spin Doctors.

the fandom you’re curious about because of a mutual

I have no idea what's going on in the Trolls fandom, and at this point I'm afraid to ask. But they all look like they're having a great time.

how has fandom positively impacted your life?

I've made so many friends, and as someone who doesn't get out as much as I'd like (especially as an immunocompromised person in the middle of a pandemic), my fandom friends are so, so important to me. I love the feeling of having a group of people who love the thing I love and being able to waltz into a space and say, "Hey, who wants to do this crazy thing with me?" and have even a few people say "Yeah, let's fucking GOOOO". ^^

I also think I wouldn't write nearly as much if it wasn't for fandom, and writing has certainly gone a long way towards helping me become better at unraveling the balls of yarn in my brain and making them into sweaters and scarves, as it were. I think a lot of the time when you write, you're practicing empathy- because you're forcing yourself to see the world from someone else's perspective. Maybe the character you're writing about had something in common with you, maybe that's what drew you to them in the first place, but identifying that also helps you understand more about yourself *and* how you relate to others. So I like to think that writing has helped me relate better to other people, even the ones I disagree with, and made me more able to slow down and ask, "well, why does this person feel/think that way?" Storytelling is so important for a lot of reasons, but that's a big one for me.

#thank you for the ask #i got wordy oops

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3milesup · 2 years ago

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FANFICTION AND I

(aka just me being mushy, i'm annoyingly prone to sentimental rants, feel free to scroll past^^)

The other day i was reminiscing on my journey to writing other than original stories. You see, i barely knew what internet was, let alone the term fanfiction, not because i am that ancient but simply because it wasn't in my lifestyle to navigate the net, no smartphones and i was either outdoor or buried in the books. And just so it happened that i wrote an additional chapter along the lines of Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies for a novel which ending i was upset about. I still have it and i still love it, because it was so in line with the narrator's style, not to brag or anything just that having nailed the tone has left me with such an oddly satisfying feeling which i have been treasuring for half of my life by now.

Fast forward, let's leave out the very traumatic event of actually discovering fanfiction online and wanting to burn the computer in a cleansing ritual, incense and candles and stuff, then limiting myself to avoiding straying far from game websites and youtube, then somehow discovering AO3, i swear i don't recall what fandom had me so invested that i willingly went in search of fanfic for it, but i have no regrets... And then starting reading more of it and writing more of it and eventually deciding to try and share it with the world...

(Now, think of all this as stretched over quite a few years.)

And then, at the uni, this weird professor who did one thing right and it was giving us this homework, made us write a scene for a film we watched in the class. It was a film i had seen before and i loved it a lot, so i had a bunch of feelings about it and when he gave us this sheet with the last line of the movie script printed on top of the page for us to take it from there, i had to keep myself from jumping with joy. The professor liked my homework and i don't know where it's ended up but it must be amongst my uni papers and i keep telling myself that one day i will go through them all and find it, because it is another one of those works that felt just right, like something fell into place. Like an ornament in the corner of a mirror, that no one misses if it's not there, but it can make it nicer.

They were both simple gen slices of life, so to speak, characters reuniting and/or contemplating their lives and the times they were living in, little stories that no-one except me (and my professor in the second case) has read and yet they have left an indelible imprint on my heart, because that is where they came from.

And i believe that is what has me going as a fanfic writer. Those moments of the "missing puzzle piece" feeling, the spark of joy when i find the right tone, choose the right pace, manage to compliment the awesome source material and profess my love and appreciation for it, draw a little flowery ornament in the corner instead of shattering the mirror because i don't like what i'm seeing... i still write my original stories, of course, and they are extremely dear to me, but the extension of a preexisting canon is a whole different challenge and a one i hope i will never stop chasing and listening to and following through with, because there is already and will always be so much wonderful art to delve into, have fun with and pay homage to...

Good time of day to anyone who made it till here, my brain is melted so i hope to make sense.

3milesup out^^ <3

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sepublic · 2 years ago

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This is another drawing of an Escapee that, while made years ago, I think has aged pretty well! Meet Cardinsto, and it’s hard to talk about him without bringing up my previous post on Stone Cold…

Cardinsto is a towering giant made of plantlife; Wreathed in leaves and vines, he has tree trunks for legs, with spiked branches acting as fingers. His beard is made of brambles, his hair of leaves; His eyes are nuts, with their lids being the shells that cover them. Thorns are his teeth, and roots his feet. Like most trees he’s pretty big, with his legs as tall as the average adult.

For those familiar with Stone Cold, Cardinsto is an adaptation of the villain of the same name that Wu battles; A human wizard who can control plantlife. Note that I said human... Back when the GEverse was a Ninjago fanfic, I went with the idea that after Cardinsto got whisked away by the Skulkin for trying to rat out Garmadon, they just utterly obliterated him, left nothing of his body to kill the poor dude as punishment.

But Cardinsto, somehow, clung to life; His own soul refused to die, and bound to that soul was the elemental power that gave him control over plantlife. If he didn’t have a body, that’s fine! Because his soul would just create a new one, from scratch; His power was already over living things, so may as well extend that to himself!

From basically nothing, Cardinsto made a body of plantlife, fashioned after his original form. Despite having survived, it was nevertheless a traumatic experience, and this is just after being transplanted to the modern day via the Tower of Tears, everything around him permanently changing. Now his body has changed beyond recognition too? It looked, moved, and felt very different from one made of flesh…

It wasn’t as unfeeling as a suit of armor, as I said this body was made of living material; But it was an unwanted transformation to rival Theseus’ ship. If Cardinsto didn’t already have a grudge, it may as well have tripled, and all because he was slaughtered for speaking under duress, after being made to fight and serve one of his captors! It’s no wonder this man was so incensed that he joined Midas’ group, hoping to take their revenge on the whole family… Even if that meant killing Lloyd, whom Cardinsto reasoned would eventually be trouble for him anyhow, when he grew up.

That was Cardinsto’s original backstory, but as I said; I’ve expanded and changed up his character in a lot of ways so much that he’s basically an OC at this point, and the drastically different appearance, while still hearkening to the original design from Jolyon Yates, moves Cardinsto away from the source material and more into the realm of my own design. I’ll obviously change the name, but since it’s included right next to this drawing, I’ll go by Cardinsto for now…

Mind you, this wasn’t all there was to the backstory I created for Cardinsto! But lately, I’ve been considering something else… Having become older and more worldly, I realize now how Cardinsto’s original backstory (how he ended up in the Tower of Tears, which I have yet to explain) hasn’t aged well. So I’m revising it a bit, and possibly the circumstances behind his plant body.

Cardinsto may no longer be an Elemental Master, just a witch with an affinity for plantlife. And his transformation from human to plant monster may have occurred before being imprisoned in the Tower of Tears, rather than after his initial escape. Likewise, it might’ve been a gradual thing, because one thing about his character that has remained consistent is that he’s a warlord, a general, a commander.

It’s fairly simple, and I hope to give it more depth later on, but Cardinsto was once a human witch who created armies of plant monsters, hoping to build a kingdom of his own, invading other places, etc. His ability to create any plant in existence, so long as he encountered and was familiar with it, as well as growing his own little hybrids and creations, made Cardinsto ideal for feeding his citizens. His own troops normally relied on soil, water, and sunlight, but in that absence, Cardinsto could provide his own magical energy that created them from scratch.

He waged wars, winning battles thanks to his own strategic prowess, as well as the hardiness of his troops and their ability to shrug off most damage, recover, not need much for maintenance, and in general being stronger and more diverse than your human soldier. Cardinsto wasn’t just a good leader for his tactics, but for his understanding of logistics; He knew you had to keep an army well-fed and well-supplied. Not only were his human subjects in line thanks to all of the crops he grew them, but his personal troops were totally obedient to his will as well!

Still, this was in the Ancient Past; A time where magic and other supernatural forces operated more openly and abundantly in the Shining Void, than they do today. Cardinsto met many who could match him blow for blow, and while he typically came out the victor, it wasn’t without scars; Which brings me back to my original point, about his transformation from human, into a towering plant creature not unlike his own troops. It may have been a gradual thing; Replacing lost limbs and body parts with symbiotic plantlife, until all that was flesh was replaced, even the brain and heart!

Maybe it was an instantaneous thing, like the original version of Cardinsto’s backstory. Maybe he grew the plantlife from his own body, or ingested a special seed that took root in flesh, feeding upon and replacing the host’s form until only plantlife remained; But thanks to his own power and control, Cardinsto maintained his sense of self and agency. And that’s assuming the seed doesn’t already work mutualistically with the host, preserving their self-control!

Cardinsto might’ve recruited a few humans into his ranks, using his powers and these symbiotic seeds to gradually transform people into fully sapient plant monsters; And maybe some plant monsters he grew from scratch were capable of sapience too, if he cultivated it! There’s a very nasty image I have of Cardinsto implanting seeds into the bodies of enemies, even when they’re still alive; Letting the seeds fester and grow within enemy troops as they retreat to their own bases, acting as a sleeper agent waiting for the right moment to sprout and strike.

As you can imagine, this sort of behavior was an ethical no-no to the Wayvrens, who decided to put a stop to Cardinsto’s conquest. The story ends the same way it always does; Cardinsto is beaten and imprisoned in the Tower of Tears, doomed to endless nightmares. Cardinsto probably dreamed of defeats, of his entire kingdom falling apart without him, mourned the loss of his original body, even if the transformation had been willing; The PTSD of war and his time as a regular soldier, before he rose through the ranks and discovered magic, haunted the man.

Perhaps he dedicated his services, even learned his plant magic, in service of some other ruler or nation, only to realize he could just as easily take command for himself, especially when Cardinsto’s own superior was clearly lacking and relying on the achievements of his subordinates. As someone who had to experience the front lines before earning his title and medals, Cardinsto was less than impressed with those who immediately received authority on the basis of connections. A commander out of touch with the needs of his troops disgusted him; Cardinsto still made sure to cultivate his army of plant monsters, and it takes a nurturing touch to maintain them, with or without magic.

In some ways, Cardinsto is a gentle giant, which Midas’ group discovered after one of the Wayvrens destroyed the Tower of Tears, freeing Cardinsto. He sided with Midas, feeling a deep desire for vengeance, humiliated by his defeat and by the nightmares that constantly reminded him of the fact. I can see Cardinsto low key being the Mom Friend of the group; As a leader, he’s well-attuned to the mood of his troops, and is always making sure to keep track of everyone, ensure all are in good health, spirits, that sort of thing.

Because he can grow any plantlife he’s come into contact with, Cardinsto is always ready to supply whatever fruits, herbs, and vegetables you may desire, though admittedly, only some of his teammates actually have the capacity/need to eat by this point. The offerings are appreciated by those who can consume them, naturally; For example, Barracudox loves a good cucumber, anything with a high water content! She’s primarily a carnivore, but can enjoy some produce every now and then.

As I’ve said, Cardinsto is a giant made of plantlife through and through; He can grow any plant he’s experienced with from his body, growing giant spikes, massive thorny vines from his hands, etc. All over his body are a type of explosive berry, native to Berrywood; They’re a fairly recent addition to Cardinsto’s arsenal, and act like grenades he can pluck to hurl. Cardinsto can even grow a giant combustion berry in his throat, opening his mouth to release the fiery explosion; Lloyd has dubbed this move the ‘combustion burp’, to Cardinsto’s chagrin.

Cardinsto can control all plantlife within a certain vicinity, and this applies to objects made of wood, too. He does need to make physical contact with carved, dead wood to spread his magic and control throughout it, but when he does reanimate it… Well, Cardinsto can literally bring the house down on a person. Or transform it into an actual carnivorous plant, the inside filling with acids that will digest victims.

Cardinsto can form giant spiked spheres out of his fists and throw them at people, growing a new hand to replace them. He can cultivate plantlife from the most barren soil, or even his own body. He possesses great strength and durability, and because his own body is plantlife, Cardinsto has powerful regenerative abilities. He can grow medicinal herbs to help heal those who aren’t made of plantlife, and to kill him is a difficult matter; The bark he is made up of is sturdy and less flammable than most trees, thanks to a particular forest Cardinsto once came across.

He is plantlife, through and through; You could obliterate Cardinsto’s upper half, and he’d regenerate from it. He doesn’t have a particular ‘organ’ where his soul is anchored, so any part of him that’s left, it can act as a clipping to cultivate a new body. Cardinsto can even transfer his soul to surrounding plantlife, leaving behind his main body to act as a decoy that gets destroyed, tricking enemies before he grows another form. Being a highly strategic and clever man, Cardinsto will sometimes grow decoy versions of himself to control and trick others with, even multiple at a time, though this is taxing of course.

Still, there’s only one body that Cardinsto’s soul inhabits, but his very nature allows him to blur the distinction between his own body, and the surrounding plantlife he controls… If one were to definitively kill Cardinsto, they would have to isolate him in a totally barren environment, and they destroy everything of him, not leaving a single twig alive. I’m not sure if Cardinsto could survive through something as small as that, but better safe than sorry…!

…That’s Cardinsto! I’m mighty chuffed over his design, how he’s got the giant shoulder pads like some old-fashioned generals with their coats, made of leaves instead of the usual stuff. He’s an interesting case in which the design I’ve made for him is both original, yet not; I still have to change his name and maybe his face to be less reminiscent of the source material, but who knows? Would Lego and/or Papercutz, whoever owns the rights to his character, even care what I do with such an obscure one-off character, from a graphic novel that isn’t even canon? Cardinsto is pretty much wholly original in the context of his source material, not tied to any specific factions or sets.

Cardinsto is a much more grounded, serious, and stern individual, concerned with pragmatic logistics and whatnot; Something to complement other Escapees on his team, who are more outlandish and eccentric by comparison. I guess that fits, considering his whole power; Plants are rooted with a solid foundation, so likewise Cardinsto is a pretty stoic and coolheaded general who remains calm and calculating under pressure.

He’s a natural leader, so Midas often works with Cardinsto, or even looks to him, to help rally everyone together and focus on their mission, decide a game plan, etc. Midas may have the vision, but Cardinsto is often the one figuring out how to make it work. But unlike past leaders he’s served, Cardinsto respects Midas, and appreciates his leadership as an invaluable thing; The fact that the feeling is mutual cements his loyalty even further. Midas is a man who’s fought alongside his teammates, and he wouldn’t send someone out to do something that he wouldn’t. Midas and Cardinsto both care, though they may not quite realize how much, nor admit very openly.

Separated from an unconscious Cardinsto for so long, I imagine his original army of plant monsters lost direction, eventually settling down to root themselves in one place, and die out over time. Now that he’s back, Cardinsto can cultivate a new generation, and he likes to breed hybrids in his spare time. He’s an educated person, an excellent botanist, and familiar with classic literature; Cardinsto’s got plenty more books to catch up on after his imprisonment. There’s a sophisticated discipline that he brings to the group, and his tactical mind will make him invaluable for another type of army that Midas will gain as an asset… More on those guys, later. Still, Cardinsto can be a dingus in his own way, all of the Escapees are, really.

#Cadaztro #oc #ocs #my ocs #the escapees #GEverse #tower of tears #my art #drawing #sketch

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trashcatsnark · 4 months ago

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I mean, I think first and foremost- FC5 is just a villain fucker fandom. The Seeds for all their flaws and lord knows they're numerous are of course attractive which helps but also they're the game. They're the entire point of the story, they're the characters everything revolves around, who get the most lore as choppy as it can be, most additionally materials (books, comics, dlc) also center on them. So, they're gonna draw the most focus.

John in particular, and granted I love John but would consider him my fave of the Seeds, I think it does help that he's probably the most conventionally attractive of the family (Faith is beautiful as well, but Fandoms latch more heavily onto male characters)

I think he also tends to get humanized a bit more because A) he's often seen as the least competent herald, B) he's more emotional than the others, C) honestly I think the fact he seems to believe in Joseph the most also earns him extra sympathy

Going into each point in more detail - I think the fact he gets taken the least seriously makes him more prone to being "silly guy'ed" in the Fandom, like yes, he is brutal, he tortures people, carves off their skin, and he also does really cheesy lame infomercials, he builds a Hollywood sign of his favorite word, he threatens to huff and puff and blow down houses, he has a jacket with little planes on it- compared to Jacob, Faith, and of course Joseph, he's just a bit harder to take seriously.

Compare their broadcasts even. John's is the full scale infomercial- a stage, lights, flowers, a chanting audience. It's cartoony and over the top- even managing to somehow beam it straight into our skull at the top of a radio tower.

Meanwhile Faith's is just her in a dark little room, standing behind Burke, whispering in his ear as he stutter each one out in response in a bliss stupor. No frills,not theatrics, just proof of what she can do.

Jacob just puts a camera in the room, tells you and Pratt exactly what's going to happen to him.

Yet, despite his more theatrical silly sort of image, his actual approach to what he does is so much more brutal, physical, and in a lot of ways more realistic but also less terrifying in others.

On one hand, I can totally see and of course empathize that what John does is more akin to actual experiences of abuse, because he's not creating entire dreamscapes from drugs or conditioning people into murder soldiers- he's just hurting people, bloody fucked up torture.

And at the same time, that also feels less intimidating in some ways. John will hurt you. Jacob and Faith will change who you are. This isn't to undermine any form of trauma or abuse, just to say John's victims tend to walk away still feeling like themselves. Mary May, Jerome, Nick, and Joey all still feel like themselves at the end. Traumatized and survivors but unlike Pratt or Burke, they don't fundamentally feel like different people. John tortures people until they say Yes just to make the pain stop, he doesn't really care if they actually believe it (because this isnt about them) and other than already devoted peggies- no one else really does.

He just doesn't have the same impact as the other Seeds

Similarly, he's a lot more emotional and reactive. A lot of the things he does, feel like reactive temper tantrums. Drowning the deputy, flipping tables, etc. Faith is very placid and calculated until she really starts to feel the loss of control. Jacob is pretty calm until the end. Joseph only really gives into showing his emotions when grieving his siblings than a full scale tantrum when you resist

John leads with the tantrum. He's not a calculated man. He's angry, he hurts you. Which again is simultaneously, very realistic in a way, but also makes him feel so much less intimidating and in some ways easier to empathize. For some people, not everyone, it's easier to empathize with someone who doesn't seem in control of themselves or their emotions. In a weird way, I think John for a lot of way feels more genuinely unstable versus calculatedly cruel.

Of course, he does have control, he does have autonomy, he does have control- he could stop taking peoples skin at anytime, but also he's been given an almost free pass to skin people for God, so.... he's probably gonna keep doing it.

Which I think goes into the last thing I mentioned, John of the heralds... seems to believe in Joseph the most. Both Jacob and Faith express some level of doubt in Joseph. Jacob admits he's not certain if Joseph hears God, but he believes the world is ending someway somehow. Once Faith realizes she's losing, she fully flips the script- Joseph is the ultimate villain, no longer the loving Father she swore he was before but an abuser, he plied her with drugs, she was just a kid.

But John never really has that moment. Not a casual admission of doubt or a desperate switch in everything he's been saying. Up until his last breath, he believes in Joseph, the project, everything.

Which on one hand, one could argue makes him the least likely for redemption due to him genuinely being convinced of these things but I also think that honestly makes him more empathetic.

Jacob and Faith both have more skepticism in the beliefs they're spewing. A certain level of awareness in that what's happening here isn't actually helping anyone. And yet they still do it. Jacob doesn't know if for sure if Joseph talks to God, still kidnapping people, starving them, brainwashing them, culling the herd, and stands by it all because they'll need soldier to survive what's coming, whatever that is. Faith knows on some level that Joseph isn't the hero here, that she wasn't the first Faith and if she fails, she may not he the last, still she whispers in your ear how sweet and loving her family is. She drowns people in bliss, shaves their heads, and calls them angels- maybe because she's scared, maybe because a part of her likes the power, maybe both.

John however does buy into it all, maybe because it allows him to act some of his worst most violent impulses while still being mostly "good", still being a part of something, still having a promised paradise after the collapse- regardless of why, he does. He becomes fixated on getting the player to convert because he's told it's his only way to get to New Eden, seems genuinely excited at naming their sin, them saying yes. And yet, despite being the most bought into it- he's the one getting admonished the most by Joseph. Every interaction between them feels like he's a child being scolded, because even though he believes in this the most, even though he's atoned, he's still reactive, he's still impulsive, he's still fucking up- even in a family, a belief system that allows some of his most depraved impulses- he's still not good enough for a fucking "good job, atta boy, john"

Like, they're all committing atrocities, but Faith and Jacob don't even fully believe in the reason they're committed the atrocities, yet here they are arguably committing worse atrocities and doing a better job at it...

And of course, this is just my thoughts and speculation and feelings, I personally am not big on the redeem the Seeds train, I love them because I kinda just love fucked up little guys. But I do see why John gets that treatment the most beyond just his face- he's this incredibly odd mix of pathetic, brutal, sad, abusive, reactive, desperate, broken, violent, childidh, campy, clingy, weirdass man. That can inspire "oh I can fix him," "he can make me worse," and instant Cain instinct activation at any given moment.

And I can appreciate how that can feel frustrating to the treatment of Hudson, though I also think that's more a game issue than a fandom issue. Because while Fandom wise, i do think its worth saying that female characters just don't get as much love which sucks, I mean Faith gets absolutely the least amount of attention of the Seeds. The female gfh(Jess, Grace, and Adelaide) get little love as well. But I think for Joey it massively does not help that of our kidnapped allies, she doesn't get to interact with us as much. Pratt, having been completely broken by Jacob, talks to us in in nearly if not every one of Jacob's cutscenes, if only to prove how broken he is. Burke is in everyone of Faith's, even has a whole boat ride with us to try to convince us how good the bliss is.

Joey doesn't get that, every time she's in one of John's scenes, she's got tape over her mouth. Because John may have gotten a yes out of her once, but he knows, we know, she knows that without that tape she's not about to start telling us to say yes, confess our sins, or preaching peggie shit. John breaks skin, not spirits.

And I do think people empathize with her, I'm a Seedfucker to the day I die but when I first heard the tape of John torturing her, I wanted to cry and fucking blew up every stereo truck blasting it. But I do think just between how much the villains are the main characters in fc5 and how Hudson is really not allowed a lot of space to be a character until John is dead, it does mean a lot of the audience just isn't going to feel connected to her beyond that sort of empathy for her pain,

John Seed is a comfort character for some people. Folks like to ship him with their deputies or craft redemption arcs for him.

There's nothing wrong with that, obviously.

But I just can't wrap my head around it.

There's nothing comforting about the way John Seed treated Joey Hudson. I don't understand why the ordeal she went through doesn't seem to matter to fans of his.

She was bait for the rookie deputy and nothing more, because she wasn't going to give in and join the cult.

He terrorized Joey and the rest of Fall's End, stooping to the lowest, most inhumane levels to get his way. Some even theorize that he hurt the "sinners" in his care just because he wanted to, for malicious, sadistic reasons that didn't have anything to do with the cult. At worst, some people go as far as to speculate that he raped Joey.

It's easy to see why someone might come to that conclusion. The way he acts is deplorable and he makes everything feel extremely personal, sometimes in ways that can be interpreted as sexually charged. He'll do anything in order to get his way because "no" is antithetical to him. He regularly flies off the handle, so much so that Joseph is threatening to cast him out. All the touching and getting right up in the player's face is so uncomfortable and obsessive (which is the point, but I digress).

So why does he get to be redeemed and venerated by fans? Don't his actions warrant consequences?

Are people willing to let him off the hook because he's attractive? Because he had a horrible, abusive childhood? Obviously he's got a lot more lore than most of the cast. Is that something people are interested in exploring for him over other characters?

I'm not trying to come after anyone personally. There's nothing wrong with liking villains and Jacob, Faith, and Joseph have also done terrible things to innocent people.

Which is like, fine. It's a video game.

And I know that John, like Joey, is a victim of Ubisoft's choppy, inconsistent writing and storytelling. Things got changed and swapped and cut during development that got us to where we are, with the story we have. Flaws and all, not like it was ever going to be perfect.

But in my opinion, I feel like the adoration for John does a huge disservice to Joey. People make thirsty edits of him while she's literally tied up behind him. It's tasteless and makes the optics of her situation look even creepier.

Her pain has largely been ignored for as long as the game has existed. I can't for the life of me figure out why.

#apologies for the dissertation #again just my two cents thats probably largely incoherent because im typing on a tablet and sleppy #but yee largely in think there are a lot of reasons people feel connected or empathize with villains #and while i can really see why that feels like disservice to their victims i think its partially due to villains in many mediums tend to be #the main focus and therefore invite more lore more emotions more connection and is more sometimes more a fault of the piece of media not #guving that same attention to the victims in terms of making a connection #but also of course sometimes certain characters just scratch the brain right

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knowlesian · 2 years ago

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god i love the thematic weight carried by stede’s plant

because there are two things that are true here:

- under stede’s care and on his ship, that plant thrived. it was in better condition when we see it in e9 as evidence of stede’s Very Real Pirate status

- he stole that plant from poor fishermen and not some rich(er) fuck, which is punching down and admittedly sketchy when you think about it for long

even better: the first being true does not negate the second, and the second being true does not negate the first.

with the first lens, the plant is sort of a metaphor for how stede’s ship is a place that allows the crew to become themselves and be a crew (a family, even) versus a loose assemblage of people, technically sharing a common cause but more often finding themselves at cross purposes and working their own angles.

with the second, it reminds us that stede only bought that ship and provided that space by abandoning his family without warning and selling off some of the stolen land mary brought into the marriage. not to mention, that stede was only viable husband material because he brought his family’s equally ill-gotten cash along with him.

(they’re both white and upper class, but she’s got the land and he’s got the possibly new money; a capitalist love story as old as capitalism itself. gotta keep ‘em separated while you keep the money where it’s already fucking at, etc.)

stede’s s1 journey is complicated; in order to appreciate him as a whole person, we have to acknowledge that the reason stede was born into money and wields social power as a matter of course— even while he is also marginalized and traumatized by that very same society— is a legacy of horrors so comprehensive they run the gamut from a to z on every horrible thing one human being can do to another.

it’s not stede’s fault; it is his reality. and that’s part of why i’m so fucking excited for s2. because the plant is definitely a good representation of his s1 arc of moving from believing the shadows on the wall are real and not just flickering representations, but he's only just woken up to the real world and is ready to find his place in it. he’s rejected the money and the status, faked his own death in a way that implies he won’t be going back to his old self ever again, and now he can figure himself out on his own terms, not society’s.

which means the plant is a symbol of growth, but also of privilege and stede’s own blindness to how that privilege changes the world he experiences and in some ways, makes it easier to move through than the world the people around him are also experiencing at the very same time.

(as a canon example of how that works, just because i was discussing it recently and it’s top of mind: that french captain could have said plenty of things to remind stede he is not a man in the way the world wants him to be. he could have insulted stede, made him feel shitty or like less of a proper man; he could not call upon a history and experience of the world that means a lot of people think stede is closer to being an animal than he is, simply because of the color of his skin.

real world example to help explain the canon example, since i know this isn’t always instinctive: here in the united states we had two presidents, one after another, that people liked to draw in political cartoons as monkeys. the first was george w bush, who is a white man with big ears; the second was obviously obama. and no matter intent, or what anybody said about why they decided to present a black man as a monkey or the size of obama’s own ears, that use of imagery called upon a long and ugly history of racism in a way that could never be used against dubya. even a lack of intent or having no personal knowledge of the particulars can't defeat that history.)

so anyway, s1 stede is the plant: growing stronger, healthier, but in circumstances that become complicated and hard to ignore when you consider how and why they came about.

s2 stede, i’m assuming, is taking cues from the orange (as it is his favorite thing, now) because the orange was a gift freely given, obtained because all the things great and not so great that combine to make stede the complicated, lovely but also sometimes Just... So Much person that he is meant that jim got their family back and the reassurance of knowing that nana sees and accepts them for who they are/was more upset about how many bodies were not dropped than pronouns changed.

he’s gonna do so many gay crimes and learn who he is and reunite with ed so that ed can learn who he is in tandem, because that’s love. even when someone's A Lot, they’re family, and you give them the room to grow alongside you already assuming they might need it.

#stede bonnet you fascinate me i can't wait to see you grow #man is gonna be UNHINGED in the best way #i want to see a stede bonnet secure in his general desires in life applying that breakneck BUT WHAT IF DIFFERENT???#to everything!!!! EVERYTHING #i was doing something else now back to that this just sort of wouldn't stop yelling in my brain

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jaqobis · 2 years ago

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okay, it’s time to talk about some issues i had with the gathering storm and handling of trauma

i’d say these issues persist into all three of sanderson’s books, but it was just really blatant in TGS and therefore set the tone. we all know by now, i think, that i was really not a fan of the whole darth rand/dragonmount epiphany storyline because the implications of this moralization around rand’s trauma and physical disability are really fucking troubling.

the thing is, it’s not just done with rand. that’s the thing that makes it worse: this is clearly the narrative’s opinion. what i’m talking about is the discussion of traumatic events from three different povs in TGS: faile, egwene, and rand.

now, egwene’s storyline had already mostly been written and imo it showed with rj’s deft, subtle writing. the captive amyrlin arc was always about the ways egwene found agency in her circumstances and undermined elaida by the dignity of her composure. i’ve read sanderson talk about how the first attending elaida at dinner scene was rj’s and the second was his, and i think that’s quite clear: rj’s scene is about how hard egwene has to fight to keep her self-control under the circumstances, and how much it sucks, and how hard it is to win these little victories no one else knows you’ve had. sanderson’s scene is egwene reaming out elaida in front of a bunch of people and then, uh, unflinchingly taking a lot of pain from elaida? it’s a very dramatic moment and visual, but ties back into sanderson’s existing notions about pain (how semirhage isn’t able to get to rand that way because, checks notes, he’s been tortured before and has chronic pain issues.)

to be completely clear: when i critique egwene’s arc in the context of this post, i mean the sanderson addition(s) and those alone. i’m talking about a greater trend he sets up, weaving in this (mostly) preexisting material.

because when faile thinks about malden, when perrin asks her how she’s doing, and she has a few paragraphs of introspection about her experiences as sevanna’s captive: she thinks about how it made her stronger. she thinks about how it taught her nobility. she thinks about how it made her more of a lady. faile is empowered by her pain and trauma, with little attention paid to any negative effects someone might have, realistically, gotten from the experience. it’s noteworthy because of course rj never moralized about trauma or pain, never made them into Strengthening experiences because frankly: they’re not. trauma is trauma. pain is pain. but people have already written really thoughtful pieces about rj’s handling of trauma.

so we have egwene’s arc of empowerment within the tower, we have faile thinking about how she’s stronger and nobler for her suffering. and then we have rand, who is miserable and in this book — loudly miserable — and he is darth rand. he refuses to contextualize his suffering as positive, he points out his loss of agency for what it is, and we are meant to understand that he is a horrible person for that.

this isn’t even subtext that i’m drawing out: when rand descends from dragonmount in towers of midnight and talks to cadsuane, she admonishes him for letting his [checks notes] 12 books’ of suffering get to him, and he corrects her that, wait for it: he was forged by the experience into the chosen one who has accepted death that he is today.

one might point out that rand’s discussed trauma as forging experiences before, in the rj books, and that is true. he’s spoken thus about the box and far madding. but i think the narrative in those instances is very clear that he’s fighting to contextualize terrible experiences in a way that gives him agency over his feelings. the narrative is definitely never agreeing with him. the people around him typically express consternation at the idea that he came out of either experience Stronger. the lasting effects of trauma from those experiences make his life harder, not easier.

but in towers of midnight, of course, he’s zen rand now. he’s the rand who’s accepted death. he’s never really wrong anymore. we literally see how he’s Put His Pain Behind Him And Become Better for it; so i think it’s perfectly reasonable to state that we’re meant to agree with him this time around.

and all of this builds to a troubling takeaway: that trauma is an experience that is affirming and makes you stronger if you choose to take it that way. if you refuse to take it that way, well, you’re darth rand.

#wot book spoilers #sanderson critical #the gathering storm #and some towers of midnight spoilers #words #forgive any typos i usually read these over #but not today

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paramar · 3 years ago

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okay, so here’s my Gamer Theory *youtuber voice*: so i’m firmly a believer that ralsei is 100% related to kris, more specifically kris’s anxieties of being the only human in their family and wanting to fit in as a monster. other people have theorized that ralsei may be the green crayon, or the red headband. i personally think the last one is more likely, but ultimately may be a redherring, (i can easily see the headband appearing later on, “disproving” the theory). but imo both elements are connected: i think ralsei is a drawing.

first the crayon labels that "have long faded" and the "old papers" in the supply closet may be connected. i'm mostly shooting in the dark here, because, you know, two chapters out of seven, but the buildings of castle town seems a bit paper-like to me, my impression is that these papers are from the time kris was a small kid. ralsei being kris’ old OC monstersona where they projected their desire to be just like the other members of their family.

color-wise: the reason the green crayon is missing is because kris used all of it to color ralsei's clothes. the reason that ralsei has pink horns unlike the "red headband", has eyes with the same pink unlike kris' red eyes, and has a "red scarf" despite being another shade of pink may have been simply artistic liberty or there just wasn't a red crayon available for some reason. how many times as a kid one had to do with just the materials available? something like that

the long-theorized anagram name: so in another post i not-so-seriously-maybe said that when noelle "recognized" ralsei in the dark world she didn't recognize asriel or toriel or asgore but rather, ralsei the monster oc that kris used to draw as a kid. with the over-present running gag of the dreemurs being bad at naming stuff, how does kris come up with the name? by mixing up their brother's name on one of ice-e junior jumbles.

some random miscellaneous thoughts that i don't know how to expand but i think are worth mentioning: - this could "explain" kris supposed ambivalence towards ralsei in the game: if they at some point accepted that they never could be a monster/they would never fit with their family in the way they wished, looking at him may not bring the best memories, especially if ralsei is from a pre-certain traumatic incident.

- but why do ralsei and kris uses different pronouns? this is when an already off-the-rails theory goes off-the-rails and if i may speculate, maybe all of this was done before kris figured out their gender. i don't know if mr toby fox has any plans of exploring kris' transness furthermore in the story, but the transgenderizer blue dress already made an appearance in deltarune alongside ralsei, so anything is possible.

- even if the dark world version of ralsei's change at the end of chapter 1 can be explained with his magic hat or so, that difference can also be explained in the light world version: what does a kid do to a drawing if they are angry at the results, didn't like it, etc? they scribble all over it. hence chapter 1 ralsei.

- similarly, what is under all the robes and scarf in ralsei's defeated sprite? maybe eraser dust

- a lot of people draw college asriel wearing these round nerd glasses, probably with the assumption that ralsei represents their brother but based on the aforementioned theory that he is instead an idealized version of younger kris: i think "wears embarrassing glasses and ditches them once they become a teen" fits kris' attitude much more.

- ralsei's manual shows various drawings that he made of himself, presumably. just thought that was funny.

- is not a secret that UT and DR borrow heavily from the MOTHER series and so far i believe the dark worlds are inspired by magicant from the first two games. in the first game magicant being a little escapist paradise that the party can travel and end up being a fabricated world in someone else's memories, and in the second game being a fabricated reality in ness' inner mind. on this one, there's a little bit where a younger ness meets his older counterpart and seems a bit disappointed by how more serious he seems, and that he doesn't have any time to play anymore. the theme of "more cheerful idealized version of the protagonist meets an older counterpart who seems a bit more jaded than before" can be at play here.

-you know how kris knows to play the piano, and "my castle town" seems a more piano-based song than the rest of the ost? yeah

- the last thing and if all this rambling turns out to be true, that could mean that the whole dark fountains adventure started with a drawing, so. thematically, that may resonate with how (if we go by the prequel interpretation) the last remnant of the deltarune universe as seen in sans undertale lab is a poorly drawn picture, but this time of three smiling people, instead of just one kid who just wants to fit in.

#deltarune #corrected a typo lol

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petite-madame · 3 years ago

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Dear Mr. Madame, Hi, I am a High School student and I am inspired by your artwork! My art teacher is having us reach out to a current artist to ask questions about developing our art! If you have time, I have a couple of questions for you. 1- What inspires you to take different Marvel characters and put them into different settings, timelines, and costumes? 2- When you do create art, what materials do you use? Is all your art digital or do you use markers, paint, pencils, etc...? Thank you!

Hi, I am a High School student

Hi, High School Student 😁

I am inspired by your artwork!

Thank you so much for seeing me as an inspiration and for choosing me for asking your questions. 💖

Dear Mr. Madame

It's "Mrs Madame" (not that it's important but as what you are asking me is part of a school work, it's better being precise 😳). Also, I'm French, English is not my native language, so feel free to fix any grammar/spelling mistake in my answers if you need to, no problem. I know how my "Frenglish" can be traumatizing sometimes 🙃

1- What inspires you to take different Marvel characters and put them into different settings, timelines, and costumes?

This is quite a difficult question even if it seems simple. 😶 I would say that I love taking the characters I love and make them "jump" out of their usual environment ( = from canon) in order to re-imagine their story to my tastes. It's a bit like in the show What if: what if the Avengers where characters from an Heroic Fantasy story ? What if the Avengers had a restaurant and were in charge of the menu ? What if the Avengers pose for Couture brands ? I find the process of reinterpreting canon very interesting.

If you talk more precisely about one my latest series, The Order of the Avengers, I could add that being French played a part somehow: it's in my culture, it's what is surrounding me, so it's normal I'm going to be sensitive to European medieval environments. For instance, I live about 30-40 minutes from the Cluny Museum - National Museum of the Middle Ages (Musée de Cluny - Musée national du Moyen Âge), the place where you can find The Lady and The Unicorn tapestries.

Anyway, reinterpreting characters, blending universes that should never have collided (The Avengers and European Medieval/Heroic Fantasy lore, The Avengers and baseball, etc...) is not only interesting, it's also a lot of fun and it also makes you, as an illustrator, push your limits and go out of your comfort zone. It stimulates your creativity and it gives you the possibility to mix several of your passions in one projects: the Avengers and food, the Avengers and Heroic fantasy, the Avengers and...whatever will inspire you this month. 😁Not to mention that drawing the Iron Man suit, Bucky's arm or Captain America's shield is already complicated but when you work on alternative universes, it makes you study so many different things/items/textures that's it's very rewarding in the end.

2- When you do create art, what materials do you use? Is all your art digital or do you use markers, paint, pencils, etc...?

What I draw is 95% digital art. I'm saying "95%" because sometimes, rarely, I go back to traditional art as you can see it here and here. I use digital art much more because, for me, it's more convenient: I can bring my iPad everywhere, I don't have to bring a sketchbook and my pencil in my bag, I don't have stacks of papers with sketches all over the house like 5-6 years ago. When I need to sketch, I just open Procreate and that's it.

To answer your question more precisely, I use Photoshop CS6 and a Xp-pen 15.6” tablet. I work on a computer running on Windows 10. I also have an iPad Pro (the one on which I use Procreate). When it comes to my old artworks, I also used Painter 12 but I don’t have the app on my new computer anymore and Procreate does the job very well so I really don’t need Painter 12 anymore.

As far as traditional artworks are concerned, I use mainly Copic markers and Prismacolor pencils as you can see it here.

I hope I answered your questions and that you'll have a good mark. Good luck to you!

#pmasks

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poisonedapples · 3 years ago

Text

Patton’s Home for Traumatized Kids - Chapter Three

New School and Friendships

Chapter Summary: Roman has his first day in a new district while some bonds are strengthened.

First Chapter Previous Chapter Story Masterlist

Warnings: Past abuse mentions, mentions of hidden cameras, anxiety, some bullying, crying, and food mentions

Chapter Word Count: 5,860

Taglist: @shade-romeo, @grayson-22, @pixelated-pineapple, @acrobaticcatfeline, @astrozei, @edupunkn00b, @princey-7258

“Hey, dad?”

“Yeah?” Roman’s dad turned to face him. Roman felt his whole body start to shake.

“You know how you said that…I could ask for anything from you? Since, uh- since you didn’t know what present to get me last time?”

His dad smiled in a way so normal it was disturbing. “Got an idea?”

“Yeah, uh…I want a canopy bed.”

His dad’s face dropped, and Roman could feel the anxiety and regret bloom through his chest. “You know why I can’t do that, Roman.”

“Please? I know it’s probably a bit much to replace my whole bed frame, but I could make my own canopy for cheaper! I’ve already looked at a bunch of ways online how, I just need you to buy the materials-”

“It’s a no.” Roman’s dad looked angry, and Roman would’ve done anything to run the other direction at that moment. To burst out the door and never come back. “Nice try, Roman, but I’m not stupid. Come back when you have a better idea.”

Roman blinked to fight back the tears. “…I’m sorry.”

“Go back to your room.”

Roman ran up the stairs as fast as he could, wishing more than anything that there was a lock on his door. Instead, Roman took his desk chair and propped it against the knob for some kind of security, curling into the corner of his room as he shook and tugged at his hair.

He tried to block out the knowledge of the security camera on his shelf, hidden well but not well enough, pointed right at his bed.

***

Several fast knocks came onto Roman’s bedroom door, waking him up with a jerk. He groggily pushed open the curtain in front of his head to grab his phone and look at the time. Six o’clock on the dot, it read. Ugh.

The knocking on the door didn’t stop, and Roman whined. “What?” He called out.

“Get dressed, we need to leave the house by 6:30.” He heard Logan call back.

“Fine, fine.” Roman pushed the curtains out of the way and practically rolled out of bed, grabbing the clothes he’d organized for himself the night before. He put on a pair of jeans with a white and red t-shirt, nothing fancy but fancy enough for a first day surrounded by strangers. He grabbed his backpack and put his phone and some earbuds in his pocket before heading downstairs to the kitchen.

“Morning, kiddo!” Patton chirped as he made breakfast, “Didja sleep well?”

“Yes, I did.” That was a lie. He had some strange dream where his dad was also there, and he only managed to calm down and fall back asleep an hour ago. He still couldn’t stop thinking about it, even if the dream was hazy now.

“Good to hear! Be ready by 6:30 so I can drive all of you to the school. Then once you get there, you can ask about your schedule at the office.” Patton laid down a plate of bagels with cream cheese and strawberries in front of Roman, so Roman began to eat.

Once he finished his breakfast, Roman rushed back upstairs to style his hair and brush his teeth before they had to leave. As he brushed his teeth, he stared at the shower to the left of him and sighed. He touched his hair, feeling the grease slick onto his fingers.

He really needed to shower. He hadn’t showered since he got here, and with how thick his hair was it was really starting to gross him out. He hated feeling greasy and grimy, but Roman hadn’t checked the bathroom for cameras yet and he refused to shower until he did. Though, he knew that was also just an excuse. Roman also felt too tired to take care of himself.

Just brush your teeth, he thought, they told you that if you can’t shower, at least brush your teeth. Greasy hair can be fixed, cavities are expensive.

He spit out the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed out his mouth. He grabbed some face wash and decided to use it as quickly as he could to hold back the gross feeling he felt. It would help him feel a little cleaner, at least. A little more presentable for the first day.

A loud bang came onto the door. “Roman, hurry up!” Virgil called out, “Some of us need to piss!”

“Just a second!” Roman vigorously splashed water on his face and quickly dried it with a towel, rushing out of the bathroom so that Virgil could run in. He sighed again, walking downstairs to wait on the couch until it was time to go.

“Alrighty, everyone got everything?” Patton eventually asked, making Roman crack open the eyes he didn’t even realize he closed. Patton smiled and clapped his hands together when his response was tired hums of agreement. “Perfect! To the car!”

All three kids bunched themselves together in the back of Patton’s car, Roman and Virgil at the window seats while poor Logan was squished in the middle. Roman squeezed his legs together so he could fit his backpack between Logan and himself, acting as a barrier so Logan couldn’t touch him. It was uncomfortable, but it was what Roman had to do.

“So, Roman, are you excited?” Patton asked, making Roman open his eyes again to look at Patton through the rearview mirror. Roman leaned his head against the window.

“More nervous. I’ve never been to a new school before.”

“Well, hopefully you can make lots of friends here! The school is pretty big, so there are certainly lots of options!” Patton laughed at himself and Roman closed his eyes again.

We’ll see about that.

Eventually, after a failed attempt of getting in some extra minutes of sleep before school, Roman felt the car come to a stop. He opened his eyes and looked out the window to see the front of the large school building, kids with smiling faces talking to each other as they walked inside while others looked tired yet excited. Roman wasn’t feeling it.

“Alright, kiddos, have fun!” Patton exclaimed, “Remember to check in with the office for your schedule, Roman!”

All the kids started to pile out of the car, grabbing their bags off the floor to rush inside. Once they were all out, Patton’s car drove away to head for work.

Roman looked at the building as Logan and Virgil walked inside. It seemed huge compared to his old school, where the county was much more rural than here. They still had twenty minutes until school started and kids were already swarming in from multiple entrances, both from the main entrance and other doors connected around the building. Roman walked inside and held his arms close to himself, desperate not to be shoved around by the other students.

The office was fairly easy to find, considering there was a giant sign over the door in bold, white letters reading Office. Roman opened the door and stepped inside to get in line, feeling a little bit better that he wasn’t the only student having first day issues. The line shrank very quickly until it was Roman’s turn to ask questions, being faced with an old lady who could either be very sweet or the rudest person in the building. Roman could never tell.

“Uh, I’m a new kid at this school, and my guardian told me to come here to get my schedule?” Roman asked.

“Name.” Okay, well, rude it was, then.

“Roman Goldsberry.”

The desk worker didn’t respond, only typed something on her computer and didn’t make eye contact. “Next door to your left of that entrance is the counselor’s office. Your counselor is Mrs. Walters and she’ll call for you shortly.”

“Okay, thank you.” Roman had never scurried out of an office so quickly in his life. So much for a great first impression.

In the other office, Roman sat on a waiting chair and awkwardly glanced at all the college items they had hung up on the walls, waiting until his name would be called. The school day hasn’t even started yet, what’s taking them so long?

Roman drummed his fingers on the armrest of his chair and waited. There was a lot of college stuff in this room. Granted, high school’s whole thing was trying to take you to college, his old school was the exact same. And he should really start thinking about that stuff since he’s a sophomore now. He only had two more years left after this, but it’s not like he could go anyway. He wasn’t even supposed to graduate high school, let alone college.

Besides, his dream was stupid anyway, so it didn’t matter.

“Roman Goldsberry?” A voice called out, taking Roman out of his thoughts. Roman stood up to follow the counselor into her office.

“I’m Mrs. Walters, and it’s nice to meet you Roman!” She said cheerily as she sat at her desk with Roman sitting right in front of her. “Your schedule was a bit last minute to pull together, but I tried my hardest based on your last school’s transcript and your test scores from last standardized testing. All I need is to schedule some extra electives for you. You have advanced English 12, advanced geometry, advanced biology, and world history. You can also choose Spanish 3 here if you wish to continue that. You also still need your gym credit, so you can take regular PE or strength training. I also have a list of other electives here if you want to look at that.”

“Yeah, I can look.” The counselor handed Roman a paper of all the electives organized by their subject. Well, Roman definitely wanted to continue Spanish, so that choice was easy. Strength training sounded like a fun way to do gym class with less dodgeballs to the face, but it was only a semester long, so he’d need to pick another semester class for the second half of the year. And he could join another painting or drawing class as his last elective, but he’d already taken those at his old school…

Roman gazed at the arts section of the packet, trying to find something he might like. His eyes lit up as he noticed the names of two classes: set design, which was a semester long and sounded magical, and something called sculpture. “What does the sculpture class teach?” Roman asked.

“It’s an art class that teaches you how to sculpt with different things. Like clay, wood, things like that. It’s a very hands-on class if you’re interested.”

Roman smiled. “I want that one then.”

The counselor typed something into her computer. “Have you chosen your other classes?”

“Yes, Spanish 3, set design, and strength training.”

“I’ll put you in strength training for this semester, but next semester you can join the set design class. I’ll email your elective teachers to inform them you’ll be joining their classes, but for now…” The counselor printed off a piece of paper and handed it to Roman. “This is your new schedule. Your first class is English with Ms. Fritz, and her class should be up on the third floor at room 316. Do you think you can make it there?”

“I can, thank you.”

The counselor smiled. “Have a nice first day.”

Roman walked off to head toward his first class, going up two flights of stairs and wandering across half the floor before he finally found his classroom. Thankfully, the halls were full of students desperately trying to locate their classrooms, so Roman didn’t feel as weird. He eventually stumbled upon the correct room number after checking multiple hallways and trying to follow their scattered number system. He looked at the door with a paper rabbit and a book with a phrase reading hop into a good book, and could guess immediately what type of teacher this would be.

Roman pushed open the half-cracked door and stepped inside.

The dozen kids who were already sitting stared at him when he walked in, but quickly resumed their conversations shortly after. Roman glanced at an empty seat off in the middle row near the other end of the class and moved to sit down in it. He looked around at the other kids off in their own worlds, with no one to get excited to see him and strike up a conversation. He was sitting alone in a class where it seemed like no one else was.

Roman got bored quickly with no one to talk to, drumming his fingers on the table and starting to daydream instead.

The long lost princess with the power to see into the future is forced to hide in protected wilderness, Roman thought, picking up from an old story idea he’s had for a while. Can’t have a teen novel without an orphan, so she lives with a guardian healer instead. Then, she needs a trusty companion to not only start her adventures, but to assist her alongside them. Perhaps he could be a peasant boy born with more magic power than the normal peasant has? It sure would be interesting. Or maybe, he’s not a trustworthy companion at all! What if he’s using the princess to promote his own selfish ideals? But as the story goes on, they actually become close friends and he has an intense internal conflict as he turns into the antagonist! Then maybe-

“Alright class, I think it’s been late enough for us to start!” Roman tried not to be aggravated at the teacher for interrupting him. The teacher stood at the front of the class with a wide smile. “I’m Ms. Fritz, but of course I’m sure a lot of you already know that since you had me last year. I teach all grade levels for advanced English, so if you keep down this path you might stick with me until graduation! Now normally, teachers will start their first day with class expectations, maybe a rubric or a supplies list, but I have a better idea! How about we travel across the class and try to get to know each other better? I can pass around a ball, and if you catch the ball, you have to share three fun facts about you!”

A sense of dread filled into Roman after hearing that. He usually didn’t mind games like this since it was a mindless way to pass the time, but he didn’t have any friends to pass him the ball anymore. Was he just going to sit there until the end? Sounded awkward, no thank you.

“I think,” Ms. Fritz said with her hand gripping her chin in thought, “I’m going to start with the new kid.”

Roman perked his head up as all the other kids turned to him. Well, that was unexpected.

Ms. Fritz tossed Roman the ball, and thankfully he caught it without making a fool of himself. The teacher smiled at him encouragingly as he stood up, looking around at all the kids waiting for him to talk. What should I even say?

“Can you say your name first?” Ms. Fritz asked.

“Well…I’m Roman. Uh, I like to paint, I’m half french, and…” Roman tried to think. What else was interesting about him? Something that shared a lot about him as a person?

Quickly, it dawned on him. One idea that I could possibly share, he thought. Well, it’s a bit invasive, but they’re all looking at me. So whatever.

He took a deep breath in. “…I’m a foster kid.”

When Roman admitted that, all the kids seemed to be more interested in him, leaning closer as their eyes widened. It was the first time Roman ever said it aloud, and it was so strange to hear coming from his mouth. He was a foster kid. That was an important part of his identity now.

He didn’t know how he felt about it.

“You’re half french?” Ms. Fritz pulled Roman out of his thoughts with that question. “Do you know any french?”

“I’m fluent.”

“That’s so cool! Can you say something in French for us?”

Roman seemed to think about it. “Quelque chose.”

Ms. Fritz blinked. “Well, I hope it was appropriate to say in a classroom. When did you move here, Roman?”

“Like…four days ago. Very recently.”

“You only got added to my roster last night, so I believe you! How about you pass the ball to another kid now?”

Roman looked around the room awkwardly before making eye contact with a random girl and tossing her the ball. He sat back down and only paid half his attention to what the other kids were saying. Well, at least he didn’t have to wait awkwardly anymore.

The rest of the class went like that. It seemed like a lot of these kids were students that Ms. Fritz had in the past, as well as being students that were also close friends with each other. They talked a lot and made lots of jokes with the teacher, and they seemed really close, which Roman understood since he was the same with his old group of advanced kids. The extra conversation dragged the game out longer than it probably should have been, but Roman didn’t mind. He didn’t want to actually work or anything anyway.

Eventually, the game ended, and the last kid tossed the ball to Ms. Fritz. “Alright,” she said, “That game dragged out longer than I thought it would, but that’s fine! The bells are shorter the first few days anyway. We only have a couple minutes left, so talk amongst yourself if you want, I don’t care. The assembly should be after your fourth bell for the sophomores, so don’t let your teachers forget!”

All the students turned around to talk to the kids around them. Roman simply watched their conversations with no one to talk to himself, realizing how all the new kids at his old school must have felt. It was like looking in from the outside, where no one else could see you. Roman was just…there.

“Hey,” the kid in front of him turned around to face Roman. Roman almost jumped at the sudden attention. “What’s your name again?”

“Oh, Roman. Roman Goldsberry.” Roman turned to sit properly in his seat and leaned in closer. This was a good start! He seems nice, maybe I can make a friend!

“Roman Goldsberry!” He mocked, turning to his other friends to laugh. “That’s such a pretentious name. And very American sounding, by the way. I thought you were French?”

Roman’s shoulders sagged. Nevermind. Eight in the morning on my first day, and apparently I’ve made an enemy before a friend. “I’m half french, not fully french.”

The kid turned to his friends and made a face at them before they all laughed. Roman felt his blood boil.

“So your dad is the American?” The kid asked.

“Yes.” Roman hoped his sharp tone would help them realize not to mess with him.

“Are you close with your dad?”

Roman froze, and the group of kids turned to each other to make faces at each other again. He really didn’t see what was so funny. Who asks a complete stranger a question like that out of the blue?

Before Roman could snap and tell the kid to mind his own damn business, another kid from the other side of the room scoffed. “Mitchell.”

“What? I’m just asking!”

The other kid opened their mouth to retaliate, but a loud and obnoxious bell went off before they could. Kids started to get up to rush to their next class, and Roman joined them. The sooner he got away from Mitchell (who had no right to bully Roman for his name when he was called Mitchell), the better.

Roman rushed out into the hall and hyper focused on the schedule in his hands. World history, room 203. The next floor down.

Roman was so occupied in trying to find a flight of stairs, he didn’t notice the kid trying to catch up to him.

***

The rest of Roman’s day wasn’t half as eventful as his first bell. History class had a chill teacher, which was nice, then next was his strength training class. His teacher was a little confused when he showed up but was happy to have Roman on board. He seemed very strict with his class rules though, and Roman hated that considering one of his rules was they had to change into gym clothes. Which meant Roman had to wear gym shorts.

…Well, guess he’d have to get used to wearing multiple pairs of boxers again.

Besides that, he also got lost on his way to sculpture, so he showed up ten minutes late telling this random teacher he was her student now. At least she didn’t seem bothered. After that, they all went to the sophomore assembly where they were told the school rules and updates, which Roman’s pretty sure he was the only kid who actually listened. Then, after the assembly, Roman went to the cafeteria to eat a lunch that Patton packed him. He hadn’t actually brought a packed lunch to school in years, so the sentiment was…strange.

Not that Roman would complain about an edible lunch, though.

Roman looked around the cafeteria for a place to sit. The place was starting to become crowded as more students got out of line for buying lunch, so Roman needed to find a spot fast. It’d be easier if he made a friend to sit with, but after the morning Mitchell incident, Roman hadn’t cared to try again in his other classes.

That’s when Roman spotted him. A kid with thick glasses eating a fruit cup as he worked on some papers next to him, completely ignoring the world to finish some homework. Roman wasn’t exactly close with his foster brothers, but hey, maybe Logan could prove himself a little useful. He had to be lonely too, right?

Roman took his chance and sat across from Logan. Logan didn’t look up from his papers. “Hey there, nerd!”

Logan glanced an eye toward Roman. He focused back on his work. “Hello.”

“How’s your first day of high school going?”

It took Logan a solid minute before he responded. “It’s going alright. I got unlucky with a teacher of mine, who already gave us a homework packet for the week, so I’m trying to get a head start on it.”

“Really? What teacher?”

“Mr. Owens, he’s the more strict teacher of the two that teach medical technology.”

Roman’s eyes widened. “Medical technology? That’s a class here?”

“Yes. I had to do a lot of things last year to get into it, however. It’s part of the intensive medical learning path. However, the extra work is necessary.”

“…Right. What other classes are you in?”

“Advanced biology, advanced geometry, advanced English, medical tech as I just mentioned, German 2, health, and painting.”

Roman tilted his head to the side. “Wait, I thought most of those were sophomore classes?”

“And I took freshman classes my eighth grade year. Your point?”

Roman blinked. “…Fair enough.”

Roman brought out his own sandwich and ate it in awkward silence. Logan seemed so focused on his paper that he wasn’t saying a word, and trying to spark conversation with him when he was like this was next to impossible. He felt like he was intruding by sitting next to Logan, the air feeling thick for a reason Roman couldn’t quite place. Once he finished his sandwich, Roman had enough.

“I think…” Roman said, “I’m going to sit…somewhere else.”

Logan didn’t react. “Alright.”

Roman stood up and awkwardly shuffled to an empty spot at a table on the other side of the cafeteria, placing down his lunch box and trying again. Well, he thought as he opened up a cheese stick wrapper, better get used to being alone, then.

“Hey, excuse me?”

Roman looked up at the voice while he was mid-bite. It was the same kid who scolded Mitchell back in his English class, tired circles under their eyes and a gray sweater on despite it being August. Though, Roman had been freezing in most of his classes today, so maybe this person had the right idea.

“Oh- I’m sorry, were you sitting here?” Roman asked.

“No, you’re fine, I just…” The kid looked side to side anxiously. “…Mind if I sit with you?”

“…Oh! No, I don’t mind at all.”

The kid smiled and set their lunchtray across from Roman. “Thanks. I’m Elliott by the way, they/them pronouns.”

Roman’s brain took a minute to process what they meant. “Uh, hello! I’m Roman…he/him?”

Elliott seemed to get happier when he said that. “Nice to meet you. How’s your first day been so far? Besides for you-know-who this morning.”

Roman laughed. “Well, aside from that uncalled for mess, it’s been quite normal. I got lost a few times, but that’s not new for me. My teachers seem quite alright so far.”

“That’s good to hear. We have a lot of good teachers, I think, unless they teach calculus, then they have some serious issues. But so long as you don’t act like an idiot it’s easy to get past those teachers.”

“I’ll keep that in mind! Hopefully I stay on this hot streak, though.” Roman took out a water bottle from his lunch and started to drink it. “But it’s the students I’m more worried about. They all seem so off on their own. Or just outright rude like that guy this morning.”

Elliott groaned, leaning his head on his hand and slouching. “I’m really sorry about him. He can be a huge jerk for no reason. I think he’s just itching for a fight.”

“You seem to know him quite well. Old friend or something?” Roman asked.

Elliott groaned again. “…He’s my ex.”

“…No offense to your type or anything, but…ew.”

“Oh no, yeah, dating him was definitely an ew,” Elliot sighed. “We broke up like, four times in the span of a year and a half. It was a mess. Eventually, over the summer I broke up with him for good. I think he’s still upset about that and taking it out on the first easy target he finds. That, and he’s a jerk.”

“Well, he’ll soon learn I’m not one to be described as an easy target.” Roman gave a cocky smile and posed.

The bell sounded off again, and all the students stood up from their tables and started to swarm the trash cans and cafeteria exits. Roman and Elliott gave each other a look as they also stood up.

“So…what class do you have next?” Elliott asked nervously.

“Let’s see…” Roman pulled out the schedule from his pocket and looked at it. “Advanced biology with Mr. Weber.”

Elliott’s eyes lit up. “Me too! Uh…wanna walk together then? I can show you where it is.”

Roman smiled. “Of course!”

The two kids headed down the stairs, talking more and laughing long after they sat down in the class and the bell rang. Roman continued to whisper to Elliott during class until the teacher gave them both a warning glance, shutting their mouths but smiling at each other.

Even as Roman tried to pay attention, he felt a weight lift from his chest.

He’d obtained a friend after all!

***

The entire bus drive home, Roman spent it texting Elliott’s number that they’d given him right after biology ended. He talked about his last two classes and listened to Elliott ramble about his bad luck with classmates this year, grinning to himself with his eyes glued to his screen until his stop came. Virgil banged his fist on Roman’s seat to get his attention, making him jump and stand up to get off with Virgil and Logan.

During the walk home, no one said anything. Roman was off in his own world and Virgil just looked tired, with Logan staring intently at his own shoes as he walked. Virgil unlocked the door for them all to come inside, and they all branched off into their different directions. Virgil got a snack from the kitchen while Roman and Logan ran up to their rooms.

Roman spent a lot of his time in his room now that he’d gotten the curtains around his bed. Lying there was a lot softer than hiding on the bathroom floor with his legs propped up, and Roman was still confused as to how he managed to get away with installing this. He’d have to make sure Patton never entered his room again in case he planned to rip the curtains off their hooks.

He’d have to make a plan to effectively keep him out.

But for now, Roman actually needed to talk to Patton as soon as possible. He needed to ask for gym clothes, since that was the only thing Roman still needed to get for class, and he wanted to get it over with so Roman wouldn’t need to keep worrying about it. He was almost certain Patton had come home half an hour ago, but Roman just ignored him and stayed in his room. But he had to take advantage of the fact that he was remembering to ask for the clothes, so there was no time like the present to go find him.

Roman hopped out of bed and exited his room, making his way downstairs to the living room. He figured Patton would be either watching TV or doing something in the kitchen, but when Roman looked around, he didn’t see him anywhere. Virgil was sprawled across the couch on his phone, but no one else was around. Roman put his hands on his hips.

“Where’s Patton?” He asked Virgil.

Virgil didn’t look up. “Upstairs. In his room I think.”

Roman groaned and stomped back upstairs. He hated going into an adult’s room, so he instead opened the door and poked his head in so he wouldn’t have to step inside. But before he could get a word out to Patton, Roman stopped himself.

Patton was sitting on his bed with the lights dimmed, his back resting in the headboard, but what shocked Roman was that Logan was there also. He had his face hidden in Patton’s neck as Patton rubbed his back and played with his hair, holding him tight to his chest while Logan sniffled. Roman had never seen Logan emote before, so watching him cry was…disturbing. Roman wanted to run over and rip Logan from Patton to protect him.

Patton looked at Roman in the doorway and smiled. “You gotta remember to knock before entering, kiddo. What do you need?”

Roman forgot the main reason he came here. “Is Logan okay?”

Patton looked down at Logan and whispered something in his ear. Whatever Patton said, Logan agreed with a quiet nod of his head. Patton rubbed at Logan’s neck in a way that made Roman’s skin crawl as Patton began to speak. “He’ll be okay, kiddo. He’s just a little overwhelmed from school today. Do you need anything?”

Roman took a step inside Patton’s bedroom. It made his whole body shift into fight or flight, but he couldn’t leave Logan alone with him in good conscience. “I just wanted to say I need to buy gym clothes by next Wednesday. I’m in a strength training class this semester.”

Patton smiled. “That’s fine, we can go shopping this weekend.”

Roman looked down at the floor. “Well…I was more thinking, like…I go into the store while you wait in the car.”

Patton raised an eyebrow at him. “I need to buy the clothes, kiddo.”

“You can just give me the money. I’ll stay within the budget and give you any left over, so…please?”

Patton’s face dropped a little, but he didn’t get angry, so Roman considered that a win. “Sure, kiddo. We’ll do that Sunday.”

Even after the conversation seemed to end, Roman still stood near the door, shifting on his feet awkwardly. Patton shifted his eyes between Logan and Roman as if he was analyzing both of their mental states, but Roman’s throat felt stuck as he tried to bring out the words he wanted to say. He was so scared, but he couldn’t force himself to ask the question he knew he needed to ask now. Yet his feet refused to make a run for it out the door despite his fear.

“Do you need something else, kiddo?” Patton lightly prompted. Roman attempted to swallow the rock he felt in his throat.

“Can I…Can I stay with you and Logan?” He hated it, but he had to do it. He didn’t know what Patton would try when Logan was vulnerable.

Patton looked down at Logan, and Logan nodded. Patton turned to smile again. “You can if you want, Logan doesn’t mind.”

Roman carefully walked to the other side of the bed, sitting as far as possible from Patton but keeping his eyes glued to Logan. He knew he wasn’t helping much, not saying a word and not even being close, but it was something Roman had to do. Just because him and Logan weren’t close didn’t mean he’d leave him in danger. Even if Roman felt stuck in his head and couldn’t find the power to move his arms.

Roman sat there for a while, watching Logan’s chest rise as Patton rubbed his back. It felt like ages before Logan’s chest slowed and he fell asleep on top of Patton, somehow not caring at all about being asleep in Patton’s presence. Roman’s heart ached for him. He was too trusting and innocent for his own good.

“I gotta do some chores,” Patton whispered, “So I’m gonna tuck him in and let him nap. Do you still wanna stay with him?”

Roman nodded, not being able to get the words out himself. He felt stuck as Patton lifted Logan up gently, petting his hair to soothe him when he stirred. Roman helped by tugging the covers back from his end of the bed so that Patton could tuck him in and let go of him sooner, his hand on the back of Logan’s leg making Roman anxious. Patton tucked Logan under the covers and watched his reaction. After a few seconds, Patton grabbed a squishy stuffed frog from his bedside table, handing it to Logan who curled around it in his sleep. It’d be cute if Roman wasn’t so worried.

“Tell me if anything happens, okay kiddo?” Patton said right as he was halfway out the bedroom door. Roman nodded, only finally relaxing after Patton left and slowly closed the door.

Roman immediately ran over to lock it. He didn’t have his security bar, but this would be good enough. Hopefully Patton wouldn’t test anything when he knew Roman would be by Logan’s side.

Despite all of Roman’s worries, Logan slept peacefully on the bed. He didn’t shift or seem distressed at all, just snuggling closer to Patton’s stuffed frog and resting. Logan was calm.

Roman sat on the floor to block the door and watched to make sure no one took that away from him.

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crowberri · 3 years ago

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ocs…? 👀 dnd….?? 👀👀 wizard bebes…??? 👀👀👀 yes hello I would love to know more

😳 thank you for being interested,,, I will gladly tell you about my wizard bebes,,, Its going to be a very long ramble I hope you’re up for it- (putting it under a :readmore: bc i dont wanna flood ppl’s dashboards hh)

Ive uploaded some of these drawings already but im using them again— SO This is the character I play, her name is Liana and she’s a little socially anxious :)) Her hat of disguise is very important to her, being a gift from her step father and the thing that keeps her from having an anxiety attack in the middle of the street bc she’s very scared of showing her true self as a tiefling (ahaha traumatic experiences go brrr)

(I drew her with short hair here but her hair is long and usually braided) Liana is stubborn enough to run away from the comforts of the Rheinhurst Academy (big important wizard academy, currently trying to become independent from the kingdom it’s located in) to find her supposedly dead mother (haha thing tied to traumatic experience tm).

Her upbringing isn’t exactly noble or anything, so the only reason she could attend at all is because her father is a wizard and an archeologist who was competent enough to be hired as a professor there, and this idiot decides to abandon her education, her father and little brother and risk her life to find someone who she isn’t even sure lives at all.

Despite being a wizard, she’s proficient in short swords bc her step dad trained her during her free time. Good for self defense bc my DM likes to have enemies who run up to our faces and it makes sense lore wise so my DM allowed it - it’s not like she’s going to use it much lmao d6 hit dice isn’t great for melee combat :’)))

Her subclass is Order of the Scribes, so her casting focus is her spellbook and she draws her spells with her quill :D (you can see the Witch Hat Atelier inspo so clear lmao—). Her spells look very similar to her fathers (which i will explain a bit later), but i do plan on her branching out from that, depending on where the campaign goes and how she develops as a character.

This is my second wizard bebe- He’s Liana’s step father, and his name is Ellios. He met Liana’s mother during his travels after he was exiled from his noble family, but it wasn’t until a few years after Liana was born they had a romantic relationship (it’s complicated hhhh). Most people who ever interact with him would think that he’s your usual arrogant shithead high elf but truth is he’s just very depressed and emotionally damaged :’)) ((he used to be such a sweet person before things happened aha ha-.

The neck bands hides something that brings back memories he’d rather not experience again - although sometimes they still pop up in during his trans and it’s not pleasant haha—

Ellios used to and still researches the Hollow (our version of the Feywild— we changed stuff from DnD canon. It’s an extremely under explored place, anyone who goes in there is never seen again. Random portals form from holes in unpopulated places (like tree holes and doorways) and with that plants and creatures come to the material plane from the hollow. Ellios studies whatever comes out of it.).

He’s always been working for Rheinhurts Academy on and off since his exile, only after his wife was executed by a kingdom with policies against tieflings (their army took over the town they lived in) he started working there full time, bringing his children with him as the academy offers work, education and safety.

His subclass is bladesinger, and his weapon of choice is a rapier (i drew a short sword here bc backhanding a rapier is lowkey stupid lmao) His rapier is enchanted, given to him by his family during his adulthood ceremony (shortly before he was exiled hh).

Being a bladesinger means his magic revolves around a lot of teleporting (hit and run basically, once again d6 hit die sucks :’)), but other than that his magic leans towards ice attacks, though he does have other elements of damage so he isn’t completely fucked against ice resistant / immune creatures. The appearance of his magic is inspired by the wild yet beautiful patterns you find in nature. However recently his spells became more and more plain as he stopped putting in the extra effort into it.

(He’s more of a workaholic than an alcoholic but sometimes he’s just too tired to work so booze it is-)

And so after Liana decided to dip, his mental health declined so much that one time he decided to just work for 50+ hrs straight to distract himself from the anxiety, to the point where he just passed out when talking to the principle (they’re friends, he made sure this 192cm tall man didn’t hit his head when falling). Ellios couldn’t leave to find his daughter bc he has a 7 year old to take care of (they do have a hired maid but he can’t just a ba n don him-).

There are investigators sent out trying to find Liana, but she recognizes their clothing and spell style from a mile away + she has a hat of disguise so investigation has been unsuccessful.

#this is only a fraction of everything i have but i dont think it’s appropriate to dump an entire essay of lore into one post fhsdjkf #and also i hit image limit :’)) i have so much more art of them just piled up in my gallery fjisdfk #I wrote more lore for Ellios than Liana and i dont even play him #tbf he is ~160 and Liana is like 16 #I have a whole ass mind map documenting Ellios’ lore and it is fucking huge #it’s not even done o(-(#zhenni.png #zhenni.txt #oc #dnd #lore dump

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fandomoverdrive · 4 years ago

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Okay I just need to go on a rant about Whirl because I love him he might just be the most tragic character in the entirety of MTMTE and considering the candidates that’s a pretty hard position to cinch. Some of this is gonna have mentions re: self harm, suicidal tendencies/ideation, overall bad coping mechanisms etc so if that’s not your cuppa please scroll on.

This gets long so here’s the obligatory read more.

Let’s write “tragic” in flickering neon letters with the fact that Whirl’s first appearance in MTMTE, dropping the titular “how to say goodbye and mean it,” is a personal soliloquy delivered as he’s in the midst of constructing his own funeral pyre. Whirl is lost, directionless, trapped and unwilling to be such in a postwar environment. But how did we get here?

Whirl is without a doubt a driven character. In the prewar functionist society, he had no qualms switching careers, risks be damned. Whether he’s always had a knack for disobeying authority or was simply driven by passion or both isn’t elaborated on, but he’s got a hell of a hardheaded streak that’s impossible to ignore. When destroying his business wasn’t enough to deter him from further rebellion, the Senate was happy to turn him into an empuratee and destroy not only the opportunity but the capability of continuing to rebel by pursuing his passion. This is what I’d personally consider the big ‘whump’ moment, less so the use and abuse as a pawn that followed but the point of trauma at which we begin to see Whirl’s psyche begin to twist.

From this point forward we see Whirl in and out of prison, let loose when he can be useful to someone else’s ploy and otherwise incarcerated for a buffet of offenses. No longer able to be constructive and having little if any control of his life, Whirl becomes aggressively destructive. In response to having everything he aspired toward ripped away from him, permanently, he builds a mental defense of bitterness and anger and paves over his black hole of self worth with a veneer of outright assholery. It’s here that he bares his metaphorical fangs and pushes - with gusto - anyone who might even suggest they’re trying to appeal to reason or get close to him as an individual.

It’s hard to imagine, given even subtly different circumstances, that Whirl would not side with the decepticons for the war. While he’s single-handedly responsible for radicalizing Megatron towards violence, the ‘con intent at the start of revolution - that movement in society should be possible and a caste system based on alt mode is unethical - aligns quite nicely with what he’d already aspired to do with his life. His conscription to the side of the autobots is just another instance in which his autonomy is cast aside.

Whirl is a tool. Whirl had a passion for watchmaking, but now he can’t, so his new passion is violence. Whirl is a gun and someone else has always told him where to point and all he’s ever been given for his cooperation is the blame of pulling the trigger. Whirl is an asshole, Whirl is unpredictable, Whirl isn’t a mech anybody would ever think twice about saving - the answer would always be no. Whirl wants to die. Whirl only wants to die on his own terms and he’ll be damned if he’s going to keel over under the orders of someone he doesn’t respect, for a cause he doesn’t believe in.

A few years of this sort of treatment would be enough to drive anyone insane, let alone the millennia of warfare he suffered through. Worse yet is the one time he found a group, a team that was known for the unorthodox and taking on the big messy challenges, the Wreckers kicked him out. Whirl was too much for the mechs that were too much and there’s no way in hell that doesn’t still sting.

That’s how we get here:

Whirl defends himself through isolation from others. He can’t be hurt by others if he never lets them close enough to be hurt by. In a hypersocial society, he has no close long-term friends, he is one of the few with no roommate aboard the Lost Light. He made himself as unpalatable as possible. He’s crass, he’s volatile, he makes it clear with every word and action that Whirl is first, you don’t mean anything, I’d leave you for dead in an instant..... But that’s not true, is it?

Whirl is shown being completely, dramatically, self-destructively caring throughout the series. Between risking his life for the scraplet colony disguised as a protoform, participating in an untested spark jumpstart to save a life, coming up with a plan to rejuvenate Tailgate’s spark, and performing a spark transplant surgery on Megatron - without whom the world would never have been even a fraction as cruel to Whirl as it had been - Whirl is far from the most selfish character in the series. It’s in his nature, however, to deny such, to the point where he more than likely believes his own narrative that he’s irredeemable, self-absorbed, invincible, degenerate, and neither capable nor deserving of close interpersonal relationships.

It’s also how we get here:

Whirl is one of the characters that we more frequently see in a state of disrepair. He fights passionately and recklessly, with no regard whatsoever to whether or not he makes it out of a scrum with all his limbs intact. Injuries like these, and those that he experiences elsewhere in the series, would put other mechs out of commission through pain alone, but as long as Whirl is conscious he doesn’t stop until the fight is over.

As depressing as it is to think that Whirl is simply at this point accustomed to extraordinary pain, it’s even moreso to think about the more likely concept that he wants to be hurt. Whirl doesn’t have control of a lot that happens to him, but do you know what he does have control of? Who he chooses to shit-talk. More often than not we see Whirl being blatantly disrespectful of his superiors, and some of the more dangerous mechs aboard the LL. While obviously his intent when insulting Ultra Magnus isn’t to start a fight, harping on Drift (and subsequently getting cold clocked) or Cyclonus is a little more self-destructive in nature.

While Whirl has been in therapy, we see during the encounter with Fort Max that he’d shared very little of what he actually considered traumatic with Rung. With no material to work with, Rung wouldn’t have been able to give Whirl instructions or advice as far as a healthy coping mechanism, and so I’m firmly of the belief that Whirl goes out of his way to get himself hurt as a way to have a vague sense of control.

On his actions and guilt:

Whirl is immensely guilty. When he’s overcharged, he admits that everything feels like his fault - and unfortunately a lot is. Whirl believes he’s the bad guy, and he’s willing to take the fall for actions that others might find immoral. There’s a lot Whirl has done that he’ll likely never forgive himself for, even if he garnered the ability to start forgiving himself for the small things, but the character he’s created for himself has been part of him for so long that it’s near impossible to tell where to draw the line between caricature and his genuine self.

At this point in time, Whirl is not capable of improving himself without external assistance.

He has accepted (however wrongfully) that he is not cared about, trusted, wanted, or respected.

His assumptions become self-fulfilling prophecy as he - consciously or not - works to perpetuate his image. Whirl is a dick, he’s unfazed by anything anyone says about him, if someone is insulting him they’re probably right, why bother arguing unless it’s with the intent to get in a fight? He doesn’t pay attention to others, he doesn’t pay attention to himself, nothing that anybody could say could possibly make a difference.

Right? Right?

Wrong. Part of what makes Whirl so heart-wrenchingly tragic is that it is so incredibly clear that nobody has ever told him he mattered. Rodimus throws out what could be interpreted as a snide remark, “even the crazy bastard makes a difference,” and that aside sticks with him. Millions of years of warfare, of being a tool to use, an expendable soldier, a rabid dog to throw at their enemies, and not once did someone turn around and say he was anything good. He’s been thanked for saving lives, for contributions, for individual acts, but his reaction to Rodimus really cements in my mind that nobody has ever said that he, that Whirl, was important.

Whirl is a broken character. He’s subsumed by his own self-hatred that he perpetuates and justifies with a mask of cruel indifference and aggressively abrasive snark. He’s alone, by what he thinks is his own choice but is really a horribly misguided attempt to keep himself safe. He’s got no potential for growth unless someone wants to force their way through his defenses in order to help him find the line between who he is and who he pretends to be in order to keep from being hurt. Whirl is terrified of abandonment, and guarantees that nobody will ever be able to leave him by never letting them come close to begin with. He’s not a good person, he’s violent and callous and has little regard for the consequences of his actions, but he is that way because of the life he was forced to lead. He falls into consistent patterns because he craves control, even if those patterns are self destructive. It’s proof of the little growth he was allowed during the course of MTMTE/LL that after their quest was over, he didn’t attempt suicide again but instead got into the revolving door of incarceration for petty offenses.

All in all, Whirl is one of the saddest characters in any media I’ve consumed and please someone get this despicable bastard helicopter a new therapist and a stiff drink

#maccadam #whirl #mtmte whirl #character analysis #transformers

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