#so like. literally When am i supposed to go đ
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after a looooot of googling and some asking on reddit, i discovered the thing that i broke on my microcontroller is something called a "schottky diode" (i love learning new things. you Cannot believe how hard it is googling "arduino diode" in 50 different iterations and finding no clarifications) and if you have a soldering iron then it is fixable. however. being that it is an itty bitty component. ordering the exact schottky diode i need would require me to purchase it in bulk.
#uhhhh me#i don't need 100 schottky diodes i just need ONE#do i have a tag for this project#emily's LED adventures#the thing is. the local store (which is 1 hour+ away) HAS schottky diodes#but they're all in different specs and none of them are what i need#i don't actually know what the specs stand for so i guess one day i'll have to go in and ask them straight up#but the store is open mon-fri from 9-5#aka my exact work hours#so like. literally When am i supposed to go đ
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someone over the age of 30 tell me itâs gonna be ok
#im turning thirty at the beginning of next year and trying not to have a meltdown about it đ#Iâve actually been having one continuous meltdown about it since I turned 25#WHY IS IT SO SCARY!! WHY AM I LIKE THIS!#being 30 is literally such a normal thing to be đ#and I keep thinking Iâve gotten over it (I have done a lot of mental preparation this year) but then I still get overcome by Panic!!!#and my birthday isnât even for months#helpđŻââïž sosđ#who in my fandoms is over 30 đ„șđ„ș guys hold my hand Iâm being a baby about being old#as usual#i was supposed to have my life figured out by now but I have even less figured out than I did when I was like 22 I think .#how did I go BACKWARDS#I want to be a good example for the 20-somethings and tell them itâs all fine but Iâm always freaking out so .#gonna need the 30-somethings to step in and be a good example for ME#I am soon to be one of you so if you would be so kind as to extend a gracious welcome and ignore my sobbing. thank u#wise beautiful powerful 30-somethings. thank you#mine
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#tw suicide#idk i feel like i am probably gonna kms after TIT#i would do it sooner but i asked one of my friends to come with me and it would suck if i made him go alone#and it is something to look forward to which is helping me hang on i guess#but ughhhh once uni starts again in september i know everything is gonna fall apart.#i already got an extension on my thesis due to being a useless shell of a person who can't motivate themselves to do anything atm#but i was supposed to get some work done over the summer and have so far done nothing#hence why i want to kms before i have to talk to my fucking supervisors again and admit yet again that i simply cannot do this đ#and it's not just this. my executive dysfunction has been so bad over the past couple of years and it's only getting worse#to the point where i can't imagine being able to work at all. and if i can't work i can't get out of my parents house#and then what the fuck is the point.#every time i see someone on here talking about bonding with their parents over dnp I'm like damn what's it like#to have parents who actually want to talk to you DSFGJJKL i know they let me live in their house at my big age#but that's only bc id literally be homeless otherwise and they're not like evil. they just don't love me#also went through a deeply embarrassing breakup recently#tl;dr ive been in love with this person for over a decade and i thought they were the dan to my phil or vice versa.#then after 10 years they left me and i'll spare the details but it has me wondering if they ever loved me#i thought it was a âlet's live together and get a cat one dayâ relationship#but now i feel like for them. it was just a âsex and video gamesâ type situation#i am trying soooo hard to at least be creative bc that makes me happy sometimes but it's hard to not be overly critical of myself#and now im getting to a point where i can barely even find any joy in this space any more. for a bunch of reasons#most of which revolve around me being extremely sensitive. and this is like my last bastion of dopamine so that fucking sucks#idk i don't see the point in my life any more. a social worker actually told me recently that i should consider euthanasia so.#it's just completely over for me i fear#this is not even mentioning all the damn migraines. and all the other ways in which my body simply doesn't work properly#sorry for this weird ass vent I'm not in therapy any more bc i couldn't find a therapist willing to treat me+all my diagnoses at this point#and im scared my friends will stop wanting to talk to me if i talk to them about this. several of them already have#the 2 friends i have left anyway. that's a whole other thing. when they said it's hard for autistic ppl to make friends i took that persona#so uh at this point it's vent here or develop a substance abuse problem. and im already halfway to having a substance abuse problem#anyway dan and phil for the love of god please fucking post something tonight. unfortunately you are my only hope
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Hey, a shy mutual here, I love reading your tags on stuff, they always make you sound like you're in the middle of a manic episode or some other psychotic state, and that's exactly the sort of shit I stay on tumblr for đđđ you're doing.the Lord's work
wdym âsound likeâ ? đđ
#asked#anonymous#queen itâs bc i AM !!!!! đđđđđ#iâve been twitching all day from either dehydration hunger or both & iâm still refusing to eat#like ok real stimulant users get it âŠ. u know when u been up like 30hrs & u havenât eaten at all & ur so tired & itâs like ur muscles in ur#neck are literally having spasms trying to keep ur head up bc ur body is so exhausted & starved#u can just dm btw like will i respond ? probably ! the same day ? week ? month ? we will find out â€ïž#i literally just talked to raid again yesterday since october 13 bc iâve been constantly panicking & too busy to respond at all#âtoo busyâ girl ur just being crazy & doing shit u SHOULDNT#also i think the jeeters i usually get have switched to spice i think their real weed money ran out ALSKALSKALKSLAKSAKSL#idk like a real thc oil isnât supposed to be running and viscous at room temperature itâs supposed to be slow & thick like glue or syrup &#shut shit is FLUIDDDDDDD#i think itâs just cut honestly w what lord knows but u can tell like they donât include the microusb or the little antishatter sponge in the#packs but itâs fine idc im still smokin it im high im happy im going to kill myself i swear to god anyway not the point#where was i going w this#i donât remember
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#dammit tinder dude is actually really pretty and nice and kind and he's tall!!!!!#but he has a cat đ and he loves his cat very very much (which is adorable)#and i know it sounds absolutely ridiculous but it's actually a really big problem for me gkskfs#not only am i allergic but i also do not like cats#(also he doesn't live in my city which isn't ideal but at least he works in my city and he has a car so i can ignore this for now)#but fuck what do i do#am i ready to pretend that i like cats when i meet him?#can i just ignore something that will be in his apartment 24/7?#that is literally the only thing that i don't like about him and i'm aware that i'm being stupid and unreasonable#but how is this supposed to work gkskf#i really like him#and this doesn't happen very often#so i feel like i should just go for it and see what happens#but also hELP
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I have not had a great day. I slept for like 15 hours total - got out of bed, ate breakfast, and immediately fell asleep on the couch (apparently that's normal for me now). woke up, ate dinner and watched TV for an hour. and then got the worst headache I've had in ages. so I had to spend nearly 4 hours lying in the dark and quiet just waiting for it to get better. now it's okay-ish, but still not good enough to actually do anything, so I'm just listening to an audiobook.
#I get so frustrated when I can't do anything#but. we did kind of a lot (for me) of work around the apartment this weekend so I guess I should've expected this#I still hate it though.#it's not fair that I can do so little already and then I ALSO can't even do things every day#đđđ#literally how am I supposed to have a life like this#genuinely like. when I have a doctor's appointment that's all I get done in a week. it exhausts me so much. but I'm supposed to find a#job and go to work at least a few days a week.... HOW? đđđ#feeling super stressed again so that's awesome#personal
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#Archie is so drugged up rn#its kind of scaring me lol#he literally takes about 3 minutes to react to something#and is literally just sitting and staring#he is TRIPPING#i put him on the couch with me and he seems so confused#they said he would go to sleep like immediately#but no he is not hes staying awake for the journey#i wish his ass would just go to bed đđ#i also dont know how im going to sleep#when im suppose to be very closely monitoring when he uses the litter box#maybe i can keep him in my room and just have a litter box for him???#but i also dont want to stress him out at all by keeping him in one room he hates that#anyway its 2am and i am fucking tired
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also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into 4. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the dlc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry
#ik not everyone can pirate i get it and its your money do what you want#but itis your choice to invest so much into like. a sinking ship DJRNFJFNG. idk....#i want 2 be optimistic and believe that somehow they WILL be able to fix every single issue with ts4#but i honestly believe thats require them to take an extended break from releasing new packs and shit#and i genuinely honestly dont think theyll do that. lol.#but like. i think itd be a good idea like. Cut down on new releases and focus on fixing the base game and then pack refreshes#bc itd be rly cool to have like. pack refreshes to make them more fleshed out#but also like. sigh. it rly does come down to the packs bc i judt genuinely find it kind of disgusting how little is in each pack#and how many of the packs could be consolidated#genuinely earnestly feel like growing together and parenthood shouldve been one pack. like. and honestly throw hsy in there...#hsy could do with a refresh Badd ik its fairly new but oh my god the school is so fucking buggy#and in general like. IDK. id rly love the packs to be refreshed and id love love love More fucking lots in the worlds oh my god. multiple#worlds have literally 4 lots. Thats fucking actually insane it makes me crazy#i get like. ooh bc you can travel between worlds the worlds can be smaller but i hate it đđđ#i think its just bc i grew up playing 3 perhaps but like. i rly loved like. idk when i choose to play in a sims world i want to play in tha#world. i dont want to have to like. i live in moonwood mills (5 lots .) and thej i have to go to like. san myshunonif i want to go to a bar#or whatever. is there a bar in san myshuno idr#IDKIDK. i feel like Innnn my opinion there should be like. at least 1 of the basegame lot types for every world maybe with some exceptions#and there should be enough empty slots ppl can fill it out more if they want...#but also like. idk. i suppose it wouldnt affect me much bc i usually stay on my home lot as much as possible#bc of the loading screens#it wouldnt be so bad if like. idk. i understand why they didnt wanna do open world like ts3#well i dont its fucking actually stupid. but i get that ts4 wasnt supposed to be what it is and it wasnt built to be a longrunning game.#hence why ts5 should happen instead as a Strong Foundation BUT WHATEVER but like. yk. and ik im not the only person in the world and other#ppl want different but i feel like maybe you could have options .. idk. im not a programmer#but itd be cool to have some sort of way to toggle between like. open world semi open world and closed world#where itd be like. ts3 style where the exteriors of everything r there but the interiors r loaded in when u visit (if that is how ts3 works#i may be a bit off) nd closed would be ts4 style Loading screen to go . next door#am i misremembering or are there even loading screens between like. the new apartments with forrent.... there were for the city living ones#skull Fuckk i ran out of space
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pop stars aren't born in the 70s anymore like they used to be. These days they're born in a year uncomfortably close to my own which makes me clutch my chest and cry out
#music#musicians#Nia Archives was on radio the other day going 'my album's the first jungle album to be nominated for the Mercury Prize in over 25 years#that's such an honour! The last one was Roni Size and I wasn't even born then' --hang on a minute#that album was like. 1997. 'I wasn't even born yet'?#Folks she is a year older than me đ(â€ïž but also personally đ)#Cat Burns' Mercury shortlisted album is called 'early twenties'. It is a term I am told I can no longer use for myself.#She says 'the album was a 4-year long process. I started writing it when I was 20.' Cat Burns is my age.#CMAT. Dublin's 'global superstar'. 1997. Literally she's such a classic popstar/country star I'd have expected to read like '1987' or somet#not in terms of saying she's old or anything; just that that seems appropriate for someone who's in control of their career#CMAT is like 2 years older than I am. It's so wild to me#especially this time! There have been a lot of debut albums you see#and I'm really proud of all these--I suppose at my age I'm allowed to say--kids; my peers? But it's also so strange to see#My peers are at the Mercuries. Declan McKenna is like a year older than me#That has been in my head ever since Brazil came out. He was 15. I was 14.#sigh it's a long road to either acceptance or such radical change that I 'catch up' with everyone; whatever that means#yes I'm well aware that comparison isn't a thing to do. I know it's not productive.#I try not to let it get me anxious; afterall what do I do about it?#It's not like I've got the ball rolling on anything significant to speak of. I'm just at ordinary work#idk also the industry I work in doesn't exist anymore hahahaaaa so yeah. No career. Only far away admirations! :)#We will have no infrastructure and we will be happy.#Don't read all this; just laugh at the meme about age and move on#growing up
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Going to work today
#I can barely walk it hurts so bad#and I already messaged my boss and coworker that I'll work from home bc well. what am I supposed to do when I literally can't WALK to work..#my father said it's too âriskyâ to stay at home bc I've only been working there for half a year and that they won't believe me (??)#so NOW his plan is that I basically crawl to work so that everyone can see I'm âactuallyâ sick and go home#like sure. and my coworker definitely won't think there's something wrong with me showing up after saying I'm staying home#they're all gonna think I'm fucking weird đ#the way you can also see that I've been crying the entire night and got like 3 hours of sleep#I hate this household I'd say I wanna run into incoming traffic but I can't even so that LOL#also also#if you're asking why I - as a 20 yo - can't decide what to do on my own.. good luck trying to argue with immigrant parents abt literally#anything#someone just take me out thank you
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have u read ntt?
i have read the like six issues or so of it where robin jason shows up, so kinda but not really at all no ^_^
#asks <3#ty for the ask!!#they started talking about like saving dick?? from brother blood?? idk i wasnt paying attention when jason wasnt on screen#this is the source of my beef with hawk btw that mother fucker is so mean to jason for no reason. literally bullying a child and for WHY#i would read ntt but i am so busy not reading all the other things i was supposed to read.#i still havent read more sandman like i said i was going to đ in my defense im busy with school#and also i tripped and fell ass first into a new fixation. some one help me budget my family is starving
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diversity loss! those ppl correctly gendering u assumed you're straight..
#well 'correctly gendering' they genuinely just saw me as Some Guy i think so automatically referred to me as he#anyway there are a group of usually four to five ppl at the train station nearest to me who stop u and talk to you about sj stuff and/or as#you to donate. so stuff like immigrant rights lgbtq+ rights the environment et cetera & they were eyeing me when i was approaching (to#potentially be stopped & talked to etc. i get stopped like. 80% of the time around there) but then turned back towards each other and said#something along the lines of 'oh this is so scary this is so hard he's so scary' and then didn't stop me to talk and literally as i walked#away (i was JUST past them some ppl rlly do not wait for someone to be out of earsight to tall abt them) one of them said 'his face looked#good (as in approachable & a potential Person To Converse With) but the rest of him....straight man. look at that blouse.'#the previous sentence loosely quoted but it was smth like that...........WTF DO U MEAN STRAIGHT MAN??? TAKE THAT BACK PLEASE I BEG đđ#<<<<<< also they meant cis straight man specifically i'm pretty sure...which is the absolute worst part of that whole assumption.#ALSO what's wrong with my blouse.........#thanks 4 the gender euphoria though. much obliged đ#double also i don't think i'm using this meme setup thingie in the way it is supposed to be used but it makes sense either way. to me.#TRIPLE ALSO we're just assuming that if someone is a straight man they immediately don't gaf about social justice stuff?? okay.....#i mean i get it but also big generalization. but also i get it. but also big generalization. anyway. in other news i found out my grandma#used to write my grandpa actual poems. like ACTUAL actual poems of the professional sort that she made up and wrote down herself to give#to him <3333#& more news though this one is not very surprising and in fact very predictable I AM SO SLEEPY TIRED. ZONK TOWN I'M COMING DON'T U WORRYââ#just need to read the newspaper (the mutuals' posts of 2day) and then i am going to bed IMMEDIATELY u best believe.
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istg one of these days.......
#ya know that post thats like texting lesbians: its throw bowling balls down the stairs day u better be game#one of my fave posts ever in the world#anyway my lesbian flatmate texts like the straight female friend part of that post and i love her but its killing me#its endearing but its so hard not to read it as flirty stoppitttt im already dedicating so much work to repressing this little crush đ#ALSO THAT POST THATS LIKE FLIRTING W GIRLS WILL HAVE U ADDING :3 TO UR TEXTS literally so true but I dont think she means it like that đđ#like she talks to everyone that way I remember when I first met her me + my ex spent ages trying to work out if she was gay#bc we were so sure she had a gay vibe but every text felt like it was pointing the other way..... the vindication when I found out she WAS#anyway my resolve weakens with every đ emoji like im already thinking abt it dont give me any more ideas !!!!#its not even embarrassing anymore like how am i supposed to exist near someone like her WITHOUT ever having a gay thought#so im not sorry if she sees this. i take rejection like a champ dont be shy#but genuinely tho i dont think shes interested shes just cute like that. and idw make things weird cuz we're still living together next yr#itd be suchh a pain if i made things awkward right when we need to find a place. and anyway my best case is our 3rd flatmates WORST#i wouldnt do that to him god forbid#buuuut...... nope ok enough of that im going back to bed its almost 1am#this is what HAPPENS when u have insomnia tuning into the crazy radio every night#need to get onto dating apps and find smth new to distract me before this gets out of hand....... buttttt i dont want to >:|#its ok my patience is infinite i like playing the long game. i was into my ex for 2 and a half years before i made any moves#i can wait this one out too either itll happen eventually or itll pass. we're good#ok thats GOODNIGHT from me if u read this far wow ur nosy arent u...... jk ily sleep well everyone#muah all round#.diaries
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is having a friend crush more embarrassing than having a real crush. maybe
#and like i say: brf slt#like oh i am so excited that we 'sat next to each other at lunch again and had yet another great conversation with my bff' AAAAAH#it's crazy because i'm normal kind of but can also feel myself being obnoxious. I'M JUST EXCITED#the only thing that's gonna get me to calm down is us becoming even better friends than we are now...and it's like idk we're friends#now but the way people call people i wouldn't use the word friend in relation to their friend in english. we're very casual friends. but we#did get a drink just me that person and my bff the other day so like we do hang out...anyway...#we went to the movies last week and we're going again next week and we're gonna get dinner together and everything sođ#and we've been planning a party like the three of us it's very funny at this point i'm convinced it's never gonna happen it was supposed to#at my bff's before break like in october. didn't happen. then last week we said like the three of us that next friday (the 22nd) was a good#day for all of us (all 3 of us) and then (we were literally 3 when we made the plans) that person was like hm actually i can'tâ€ïž and now#it's not supposed to be at my bff's place anymore it's supposed to be at this person's place and we said december 12th like a month from#nowđ it's funny because. it's a RACLETTE PARTY and i'm supposed to bring the machine that's why i said the 3 of us it was her idea and it's#my machine and just. anyway. i actually have faith this time it's a month from now i don't think people are gonna be busy a month from now#they'll be free!#anyway. friend crush AAAAAAH#i love saying my bff i'll always call her that she's my best new friend we've known each other for two months now she's ACTUALLY the only#person i would consider my actual friend. and the person i'm talking about is my second favorite person in the group of people we're#hanging out with like guyyyys. idk. second bff by the end of the year. school year i'm not that ambitious i can be patient#group of people we're hanging out with: 13 people it's just everyone getting this same degree i said this last time so like we get along#but obviously i don't have great conversations with everyone#anyway. i'm not attracted to this person btw like i've looked at them through that lens and i was like no i don't even really like the#face...not a nice thing to say about my future best friend but like. they're very cool and i'm not into them. which is nice!
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ok so i hit 30 tags pretty early so i wanted to add extra thoughts under here i am SOOO SORRY OMFG ITS SO MUCH đđ GOD
attempt 1 at reading - thoughts:
i love how you wrote the nervousness and hesitation of both reader and atsumu ): this relationship feels so genuine and realistic, like every thought is so real and complex and it all just plays out soooo vividly in my head. i can literally feel every single thing in MY SOUL. it got me holding my breath, my heart racing, my stomach churning
the kiss . the first kiss where mr suna interrupted . when i tell you i read it like this >//////< EXCEPT MY HAND WAS CLASPED SO TIGHTLY OVER MY MIUTH. oh my god the reaction i had. it really felt like a first kiss all over again, i was genuinely WARM and all blushy
attempt 2 at reading - thoughts:
i loved how u wrote out the tension again .. and your characterization for all of them ?? kita being all observant? osamu being all curious ?
the emotional rollercoaster i am on in this chapter is crazy. i took my first break after suna interrupted (the kiss killed me), and im taking my second break right after atsumu confesssd (i was killed a second time). i was irritated during the cafe bc WHY r u avoiding me, and then the next second iâm like squealing đ the way that u write yue !! the way that u write . i am such a mess right now give me another moment
attempt 3 at reading - thoughts:
holy shit this scene . the kissing ? THE AAY YOU DESCDIBED IT from the first kiss ?? this one made my stomach FLIP omfg .
oh god the neck kisses . the .. the everything . my left leg has goosebumps idk why itâs only my left leg am i okay yue ? am i okay whatâs wrong with me
i have a little ways to go iâm almost done but i need yet another break holy shit i have been reduced to a dizzy lil mess what have i become
attempt 4 at reading - thoughts:
oh my god ): oh my god ): what am i even supposed to say here. i love how u wrote the smut part ?? it feels like actual love ? he is so sweet pls
osamu interrupting had me jolting upright BECAUSE SUNA FIRST NOW OSAMU ? is kita the next victim ?? poor baby
AGHHH THE ENDING IS SO CUTE i fr feel like im in an anime ): i feel so pretty and so lovely THIS WAS SO LOVELYYY TYSMMM YUE FOR WRITING THIS
v. MISUNDERSTANDINGS
miya atsumu x f!reader
ââ next: vi. Epilogue: Sakura sweetness | series masterlist
synopsis: A drunken conversation with Atsumu leads to a cascade of events that has your mind practically exploding with endless questions, and with the way Atsumu has been acting, you want clear answers, and youâll get them one way or anotherâeven if it meant arguing in the twinsâ shared apartment on a late Thursday afternoon.
chapter content warning: college au, mentions of alcohol use, intoxicated characters, cockblocker suna (rip), angst, hurt/comfort, awkward tension, atsumu & reader are dumbasses, arguing, light smut (mdni; nothing too explicit), nsfw, implied unprotected s*x, fluff towards the end yay, kita graduates from uni!, mutual pining, slow burn, requited unrequited love, friends to lovers, not beta read.
word count: 6.1k
notes: AAACKKKK last chapter!! also happy 1 month to this series !! iâm surprised i got to finish this in less than 2 months lmao considering how slow i am w writing :< divider: cafekitsune.
Light. Everything felt lightâyour head, body, voice, heart.
It felt like all the weight of your shoulders had been lifted, and you could be as carefree as a bird soaring through cerulean skies to be one with the wind. Because right this very moment, nothing mattered at all, not even the fact that you stood before the person youâve been trying to avoid since the new year rolled around.
Tucked neatly at the back of your mind like a silent reminder, you knew you shouldnât trust your intoxicated self right nowâwhether it be your thoughts or feelings but the urge to stop wasnât there, and you felt extremely optimistic about thisâall thanks to the burning alcohol that clouded every bit of your judgement.
Everything felt right.
As you met his caramel gaze, your vision tunnelled, everyone, and everything that surrounded both of you slowly turned into nothing but a mix of hazy hues, upbeat music that spilled from the speakers fading into the distance as you, and Atsumu entered your own worldâeven the orange-haired male with the bright, doe eyes melted away from your view.
Just you, and Atsumu, exactly how it was supposed to be.
With a bated breath, Atsumu wordlessly nodded, and awaited your next move, as if shackled in a hazy trance. He was fully aware of the thundering heartbeat that rang in his ears, the way his slender fingers ever so slightly dug into the scarlet plastic cup in his hand, cheeks burning with unexplainable emotions.
âLetâs talk somewhere else.â
It took all the effort for Atsumu to ignore the feeling of your bare skin against his, the searing touch of your fingers around his wrist as you hurriedly whisked him away into the intimate space of their kitchen, as if to shield you both from everyone elseâs prying eyes. Despite a stained judgement, the blonde was sure no one gave a single damn if you were to talk it out in the living room, everyone was in their own buzz anyway.
Nonetheless, Atsumu let you take the lead, whatever you wanted, he obliged. As though he was floating on cloud nine, his body became lighter with each step taken, head lightly spinning, warmth that radiated from your palm seeped into his flushed skin, prickly, miniature kisses engulfing his body.
âIâm okay now.â Resting your lower back against the ivory granite countertops, you stare up at Atsumu through your lashes, not noticing your lingering fingers curled around his wrist. For a brief moment, your breath hitched, stomach churning at the sight before you. The lighting behind Atsumu made him look like absolute heaven, flaxen strands glowing like the first rays beneath the warm illuminant, casting an ethereal halo at the back of his head. It didnât help how he stared down as if your eyes held the cosmos in them, completely awestruck.
Whatever, you chalked it up to his intoxicated state. What else could it have been?
For a brief moment, Atsumu wracked his brain for context behind your words, and as the invisible lightbulb atop his head switched on, he was reminded of the situation at hand. It definitely pulled his consciousness into sobriety. Just a tad bit.
âA-are yâsure?â A breathless, almost dainty whisper slipped past his rosy lips. He took note of the way your gaze shifted ever so slightly downwards, eyes crudely lingering on the plush of his bottom lip as his tongue briefly swiped against it.
Atsumuâs Adamâs apple bobbed at your not-so-subtle stare, stomach churning with want. He knew this feeling all too wellâit visited him whenever he was alone in his room, mind wandering over to thoughts of you which filled every corner of his mind; sometimes the feeling was too strong, other times he could bear it. Tonight, though, Atsumu wasnât sure if he was immune to this feeling, let alone erase any impulsive thoughts from his intoxicated mind.
What pulled you into this decision was something youâd never figure out; maybe it was the fact that your yearning heart grew tired of the icy distance between the two of you or maybe youâve truly come to terms with his unreciprocated feelingsâyou didnât know. All you knew was that nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations, especially when it involved feelings. But this could be an exception, right?
âSo . . Does that mean we can be friends again?â
It was weird. Atsumuâs voice brimmed with a sense of hopeâas if heâs been waiting for this very moment for the past two weeksâbut the strange glint in his caramel eyes betrayed the blonde entirely.
Despite your better judgement, you chalked it up to the warm light that casted a soft shadow upon his features; maybe you were too dizzy to see things clearly, or maybe you were looking too deep into Atsumuâs expressionâhoping to find some sort of sadness upon hearing your decision to move on, and accept his rejection.
Atsumu watched as your eyes traced his features, closely observing them as if to find some kind of answer; as selfish as it seemed, the intensity in your eyes gave him a tinge of hope that perhaps you could let yourself pine over him just a little longer because he wasnât sure what heâd do with the knowledge that your heart would no longer yearn for him.
The situation was a double-edged sword, really.
You let out a puff of breath, âYeah, of course. Weâre friends again.â Friends. That word should have given you more relief than sorrow but could you really blame yourself? It felt like a bitter reminder of cold rejection which resembled salt pressed against an unhealed wound, a searing itch that left your skin feverish.
Even if it meant selling yourself short.
Avoiding his eye contact, you swiftly unwound your fingers from his wrist, mentally cursing yourself for not noticing any sooner. A cold embrace engulfed Atsumuâs wrist, where your fingers were mere seconds ago, he tried his best to ignore how his body yearned for your warmth. He gave a small smile, one that didnât quite reach his eyes.
For a moment, you stood in each otherâs silence like two predators sizing up one another, eagerly waiting for oneâs move before pouncing, the silent hum of the fridge making up for the lack of conversation between one another.
How strange, this agreement should have cleared the unsettled air between you, and Atsumu but why did it feel like the complete opposite? As if the air turned into something more uncertain. You both knew you could feel the uncanny tension rising up, up, up but not one dared to address it.
Swiftly burying it under the rug, Atsumu spoke, thinly slicing through your trance, âYouâll find someone better.â
God, he mustâve really matured this new year because he didnât know how he was able to say that straight to your face. Being one to wear his heart on his sleeve, this was completely foreign for Atsumuâor maybe he just got better at masking his true emotions.
You closed your eyes upon hearing his response, as if doing so would help you brave the weight of his words. It didnât. That was the last thing you wanted Atsumu to say to you, âsomeone betterâ, it was brazen of him to think so poorly of himself, as though he wasnât that certain someone. It was entirely unfair on your end because who was Atsumu to determine which person was for you?
Even just thinking about it had you fuming, rejection was one thing but completely disregarding the reason behind your feelings for him was another because in your eyes, Miya Atsumu was that âsomeone betterâ; he was the one who understood you the most, the one who always looked out for you, the one you fucking wanted.
And despite your mind telling you to nod along, and suck it up, the alcohol in your body was stronger; so, you opened your eyes, and furrowed your brows at him,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
âBut I donât want anyone better, Tsumu. I want you.â
Atsumuâs eyes widened, the desperation in your voice was something he hadn't heard before, it definitely pulled at his heart, guilt gnawing at his skin for being the sole reason for your drunken actions. He may be drunk but he wasnât stupid, Atsumu knew you shouldâve kept that one to yourself, he could practically see you brimming with temerity but heâd be lying to himself if he said his heart didnât skip a beat or two.
I want you, too. God, he wanted to say it back badly. The words were lodged in his throat, unable to slip past his lips despite the best efforts to do so.
It dawned on himâright then, and thereâthe severity of your feelings for him, the immense weight of it. Now, guilt really ate him away; he could only imagine how the past two weeks were for you. Did you cry while thinking about him?
That was the last thing Atsumu wanted.
Though, amidst the guilt, something else blossomed in his chest, it made him feel like he stood upon the highest pedestal. Atsumu didnât know whether it was pride or greed; as fucked up as it was, he couldnât bring himself to push the impulsiveness away as though youâve infected him with your own. His heart hammered at a thought that formed in his mind, even just thinking about it stirred his chest.
Despite Atsumuâs better judgement, he held onto the feeling with a tight grip, and opened his mouth, tongue nervously swiping at the bottom lip,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
âIs . . Is it bad that I really want to kiss you right now?â
You sucked in a breath, heart pounding at Atsumuâs sudden confession. If you were sober, youâd have a million thoughts racing through your mind right now, questioning the feelings he really had for you but unfortunately, only one thing was on your mindâhow badly you wanted to kiss Atsumu too.
Dragging yourself further down, down, down the void of uncertainty, you shook your head in a daze,
Nothing good ever came out of inebriated conversations.
âWhat if I say I want to kiss you, too?âÂ
Barely audible but Atsumu heard it just fine over the pounding of his heart, over the incoherent conversations beyond this kitchen, over the muted bass music because as long as it's you, heâd always listen, even if it meant drowning out the entire world.
Then, there was a heartbeat, a passing second, a dip of a finger to test undisturbed waters; the funny thing was that even a minute disturbance could cause a ripple effect for miles, and miles, awakening the dormant creatures that lay beyond the azure surface.
It was swift, as though Atsumu had been waiting for this very moment to happenâone second you were locked in a trance, the next his lips were pressed against your own, a shared warmth of intimacy searing both bodies in an eternal blaze like a blue flame that dangerously destroyed everything in its path.
Shy. Warm. Soft. Rosy. Like it was meant to be. The list could go on, and on but it was as though your thoughts came quickly before your mind could register them, leaving you in a white, empty haze. With the plastic cups long forgotten on the counter behind, you closed your eyes as Atsumuâs body eagerly pressed against yours, strong arms coming up to rest on the granite countertop behind you, fingers digging into the material to ground himself.
For a moment, everything was still, lips unmoving against each other, a time to bask in this newfound intimacyâthe foreignness of one anotherâs body. The earth felt like it spun on its axis way faster than usual, as if day, and night merged to become one; hues of late dusk, and early dawn intertwined like your bodies.
Bitterness from Atsumuâs rosy lips lingered on your own; you never liked the taste of beer but oddly enough, you didnât mind it at all.
Your hands cupped Atsumuâs jaw, fingers gently digging onto his soft skin, eager for more as your lips moulded together. Slowly moving his mouth against your own, you followed suit to match the sensual pace he had set, falling deeper, and deeper between the hazy boundaries of friendship, and something a little more. Low whimpers slipped past between each feverish kiss as a drunken greed gradually controlled your bodies.
The initial softness of the kiss dissipated as each second passed, slowly turning into something more carnal, and passionateâbreaths becoming heavier, and faces eagerly pressed against one another, angled in a way to grant more access.
Was this what cloud nine felt like? Exhilarating? Euphoric? As though there was no one elseâ
âOh!âHoly shit. Did I interrupt?â
A familiar voice violently pulled you, and Atsumu back into reality, swiftly jumping away from each otherâs hold, and looking over to the owner of the voice. Suna. The brunette stared at both of youâlooking like a deer caught in headlights, chests heavingâhis expression was unreadable, almost like a mix of shock, and amusement. You, and Atsumu kissing in the kitchen was absolutely not in his new year bingo card.
Well, this encounter certainly was enough to strip you into sobriety.
Your head spun a little, lungs severely deprived of oxygen. Shame, and realisation settled deep in your bonesâshame because Suna just caught you, and Atsumu almost sucking the soul out of each other, and realisation because everything about this whole situation was so wrong; a million questions formulated in your mind as each awkward second passed.
On the other hand, Atsumu was equally as horrified, albeit annoyed that he didnât have the chance to kiss you longer. The thrumming of his heart pounded in his ears, his mind trying to come up with anything to say just to stop the thoughts formulating in Sunaâs mindâoh, he knows that look on his friendâs face very well.
Your view became obstructed by the expanse of Atsumuâs back, a subtle attempt to block you from the brunetteâs gaze.
âW-what the hell, Suna?! Donât jusâ barge into the kitchen, ya scrub!â Atsumu tried his best to act tough but miserably failed with the shakiness in his voice betraying him.
As if to make matters worse, Suna didnât back down, a smug look painted on his flushed face as the blonde shamelessly blamed him,
âWell, how was I supposed to know that you two were sucking each otherâs faces in the kitchen?!â
Did he have to word it like that?
Atsumu opened, and closed his mouth, trying to think of ways to deny Sunaâs accusations but his mind went blank, even with just the brunette mentioning your kiss had him blushing like a mad man. Silence yet again occupied the kitchen, low bass music spilled from the speakers, and incoherent chatters from beyond the space making up for the lack of conversation.
Before the situation could get even more awkward, you spoke up, âI . . think Iâm just going to go . . â This gained both their attention, carefully watching as you navigated past Atsumu, and out the kitchen.
The blonde watched as you staggered past him, and Suna; he wanted to go after you, and talk about what just happened but the soles of his feet stayed rooted on the ground, too heavy to lift, even the words he wanted to say were lodged in his throat.
So, Atsumu decided it was best to let you go.
Monday.Â
Everyoneâs enemy but also a day to gather around the campus coffee shop with friends, and be productive for a while. The calming aroma of coffee engulfed your senses; low chatter from other customers, faint jazz music, and the occasional hum of the coffee machine filled the table from the lack of conversation. Despite the cafĂ©âs light ambience, it didnât do much to hide the growing tension that surrounded the group, specifically you, Atsumu, and Suna.
Kita was the first to notice the subtle shift of aura that emanated from you three, especially after catching a glimpse of Sunaâs narrow eyes trailing from you to Atsumu over his laptop screen; though, he had much more things to worry about than to indulge himself in whatever tomfoolery this was. Heâd ask questions later.
On the other hand, Osamu was more than curious, especially after his older twin started acting out of characterâAtsumu wasnât one to engulf himself in thoughts to the point where heâd be staring at an inanimate object, in a complete daze but lately, Osamu has seen him behave as such.
The latter could practically feel the weight of awkwardness pressing against his skin as he subtly watched the three of you. Of course, he did his best to pry off information from the blonde only to no avail; Osamu didnât know why Suna was even caught up in this but he suspected it was from the party a few days ago.
He remembered seeing you stumble out of the kitchen when he was on his way to grab more drinks from their fridge, the younger twin thought nothing of it until he was met with Suna, and Atsumu awkwardly standing in the kitchen. Normally, Osamu wouldâve asked questions that night but the alcohol in him couldnât care less about the situation.
Staring at the untouched document pulled up on your laptop, you ducked behind your screen to avoid Sunaâs wandering gaze, and Osamuâs not-so-subtle curiosity. This was hell. You didnât even know why you decided to turn up today after that shit show at the partyâmaybe because you thought you could shove down that memory especially after telling Atsumu that you were fine or maybe you craved the closeness you two once had, and now you were here to rebuild that.
As easy as it sounded, you feared it might not be so with the way Atsumu has been avoiding you like the plague. First, it started when you walked into the cafĂ© at the same time as the twins, Osamu greeted you at the door before heading inside leaving you, and Atsumu outside. Now, that wouldâve been fine if the latter didnât make a show of taking a couple of steps back to let you go first as though you carried some kind of incurable disease.
The second time was when Atsumu realised the only vacant seat was next to your own, thus, asking to swap with Osamu just so he could sit farthest away from you. And the third was when you had asked him if he was alright while waiting in line to order only to be met with a mindless nod before returning to his phone in his hand.
You tried your very best to ignore the blooming pain in your chest; sure, being sad about Atsumu possibly avoiding you was reasonable but then again, you were the one who told him you were okay nowâhow Atsumu decided to act after the party was beyond your control.
God but it pissed you off. Swallowing oneâs pride, and making effort to rekindle a cold friendship was not an easy feat when the other doesnât do the same. It shouldnât work you up this much but it did, and now you were second guessing yourself that maybe it was an irrational decision to abruptly tell Atsumu that youâve come to terms with moving on.
That night at the party, were you lying to yourself just so you could be around him again?
Whatever. It was too late to take it back anyway.
The days ahead were monotonous, and boring; you, and Atsumu remained orbiting around one another, careful not to get into each otherâs path of trajectory but it was tiring. Not only did it feel like navigating through eggshells while he was around but the constant questions from your friends tested your limits. Though, it wasnât their fault for simply being curious, and getting left in the dark about the whole situation but the prying felt like endless jabs of sharp needles along your skin.
From their point of view, you, and Atsumu were stubborn about the whole situation. None dared to speak up about it, acting as though everything was fine, so your friends were left with very little to work with.
It felt like a game of cat, and mouse where you were the feline chasing Atsumu around. The longer the days dragged on, the more thoughts formulated in your mind, and they all involved the blonde in some way or another. And just like everyone else, you had your limits too; you were tired of Atsumu acting like a stubborn idiot.
When you confessed to Atsumu, sure, you expected an awkward phase but this was even worse. There wasnât just distance between the two of you, it felt like you were strangers.
He was known for brashly saying the sharp truth, so why couldnât he be straightforward with you? Was he disgusted by the kiss, and deeply regretted it? Did he think you were weird? You didnât know, but you were bound to find out even if it meant knocking at the twinâs apartment door at 5:45 PM on a cold, rainy Thursday.
With the sun hidden behind the looming grey clouds, the late winter afternoon was even darker; the roads were packed with vehicles while the sidewalks occupied students, and company workers alike trying their best to shield themselves from the heavy downpour. Despite the streets being illuminated with a tinge of warm yellow from cars, and streetlights, it did nothing to brighten up the gloomy day.
Funny, it was as though the universe knew how you felt today.
âIf yer lookinâ for âSamu, he wonât be back until 8 PM.â Greeted with Atsumuâs shocked face as the ivory door to their apartment opened, you couldnât help but visibly roll your eyes at his stubbornness. Yeah, like youâd be here at their apartment looking for Osamuâyou knew each of their timetables like the back of your hand.
Flaxen strands that sat atop his head were unruly, a sign that he mustâve been taking a nap sometime ago. Atsumu donned a light blue hoodie paired with black sweats; you tried your best not to ogle the man, after all, you were here for a sensible talk.
âIâm here for you, Miya.â
Atsumu gripped the metal handle a little tighter, the coolness of it seeping into the warmth of his skin. He tried not to flinch at the sudden formality of the conversation. Nonetheless, the blonde pulled the door wider, a wordless invite to their humble space. Giving him a small smile before walking inside, you tried not to think about the last time you were here, and how you found yourself drunkenly kissing Atsumu in their kitchen.
The sound of the door closing shut behind Atsumu reverberated throughout the walls of their apartment, followed by a deafening silence. Met with his honeyed stare, you awkwardly coughed, and played with the hem of your jacket, âIâm not going to take up too much of your time . . but I do just have one question.â
There was a momentary silence as Atsumu waited for you to proceed; he had so many questions running through his mind right now, and it took all his willpower to hold them back, and let you speak instead. It was getting harder, and harder to focus as each second passed with the pounding of his heartâAtsumu didnât know what to expect.
âDid youâDid you regret that kiss . . ?â
Your skin burned as the question lingered in the air, a beat or two before Atsumu finally spoke up, â. . N-no, whyâd ya ask?â
Sighing, impatience prickled your feverish skin. âWhyâd you ask?â What the hell does he mean by why would I ask? We made out for fuck sake, thatâs something friends donât do! Why is he acting so casual about it?Â
âGod, this just made it a lot worse. I have so many fucking questions that my mind wants to explode right now,â Pinching the bridge of your nose, you slowly paced back, and forth, the floors beneath silently creaking with each step. So, Atsumu didnât regret the kiss but heâs acting like youâre strangersâfucking hell, why did he even kiss you in the first place?!
Your mind was a complete mess.
Trying to calm yourself down with slow, deep breaths, you decided to address the elephant in the room first, âThen why have you been avoiding me, Atsumu?âIâm sorry but Iâm the one who got rejected, I cannot think of any reason why you should be avoiding me like this.â Atsumu hated that look on your faceâthe desperation, the sadness, the frustration. He never thought that heâd be the one making you feel all these negative emotions, and it pained him as much as it pained you.
Atsumu let out a sigh, carefully formulating the right words into a coherent sentence, âIâm just . . trying to be careful, okay?â His stomach dropped as your face contorted with more confusion.
Did he say something wrong?
âCareful about what, Atsumu?! Youâugh! Itâs so hard to talk to you when youâre giving me all these stupidly vague answers! Iâve already told you I was fine. I donât care anymore that you donât like me back. I just want us to be back to normal again.â
Now, it was Atsumuâs turn to be upset. He couldnât bear the thought of you moving on so quickly, and thatâs why heâs been acting distant lately; it annoyed him how easy it was for you to talk to him like nothing happened but Atsumu knew he couldnât tell you the reasonâwhy couldnât you just try, and understand his situation? Rejecting wasnât an easy task to do, especially if it was the person he had been hopelessly pining for.
âWellâmaybe things arenât meant ta back ta normal!â
What?
You stared at him for a second, brows furrowed as you tried to comprehend his words that lingered in the cold air of their apartment. Silence engulfed the two of you, the distant sounds of HyĆgoâs late afternoon rain seeping through the slightly opened window.
âDo you feel uncomfortable around me after knowing the fact that I have feelings for you? Is that it?â âGod, noâI could never feel that way.â
It took all of Atsumuâs patience not to wrap his arms around youâhe wanted to hold you against him badly; that defeated look on your face broke his heart but he couldnât bring himself to do so. Maybe Atsumu was the coward after all.
âThen tell me whatâs wrong, âTsumu!â
âItâs hard fâme as well, yâknow?!â âWhat is?â
Atsumu closed his eyes, the words heâs been wanting to scream at the top of his lungs lodged in his throat, threatening to slip out. A wave of adrenaline rush coursed through his veins, heart pounding like crazy with this newfound high, it made him feel as though he was invincibleâas if he could say anything, and everything without a care for its consequences.
Fuck it.
âFuckâItâs because I like ya back, okay?! I always have! And rejectinâ ya was so goddamn hard fâme because Iâm still not over ya. God, I think about ya every single second, and it pains me so much because yer already movinâ on, and âm still stuck here.â
What?
Flabbergasted, you stared at Atsumu all wide-eyed, the thrumming of your heart becoming increasingly loud against your ears as each slow second passed. Did he just say he liked you back? As though mother nature was watching, the rain outside poured harder; sounds of droplets of heavy water against the roof filled the silent apartment, pulling you back into reality.
âThen whyâIf you feel the same way then why did you reject me?â
When you knocked on the door to the twinsâ apartment, you expected a sincere conversation with Atsumu, not him confessing his feelings out of the blue. You were absolutely speechlessâyou didnât know whether to jump for joy because he actually does like you back or whether to massage your temples from pure confusion.
âBack then during the trip, ya told me ya werenât ready for a relationship yet, and that ya only wanted ta confess ta get rejected nâ move on. I wanted ta respect yer decision, so . .â
Flashbacks of said conversation from the trip quickly came into mind, and how you told Atsumu about not being ready for a relationship yet.
Oh.
Oh.
The weight of frustration from your shoulders slowly dissipated, the pent up annoyance you held in your heart was gone too. Suddenly, you werenât so frustrated anymore after learning about the whole truth behind the situation. You were able to breathe better with the bad air finally cleared between you, and Atsumu.
Looking at it now, you felt absolutely silly. The whole situation turned out to be one big misunderstanding, it was almost laughableânow, you truly understood the essence of communication is key.
You let out a humourless laugh, âYouâre so stupid, you know that?â Taking a few steps toward the blonde, you leaned your forehead against his chest, a hand coming up to curl into a fist to lightly hit it; a faint scent of his musky cologne lingered on the fabric of his hoodie, effectively invading your senses. Atsumu didnât hesitate to wrap his arms around your torso, pulling your body flush against his before resting his chin on the crown of your head.
For a beat or two, you, and Atsumu remained in each otherâs hold, basking in the cosy atmosphere.Â
âWould I be more stupid if I tell ya I want ta pick up where we left off at the party?â
Before you knew it your lips were sealed in a searing kissâthis time, it felt raw, all things passionate, and eager. Hands impatiently roaming each otherâs unexplored bodies, sounds of wet kisses slowly filling up the apartment. The atmosphere shifted from cosy to something more sensual, light groans, and moans slipping in between each kiss.
Your hands rested on Atsumuâs golden strands, fingers gently tugging at it as he worked his lips down the column of your neck, teeth lightly nipping at the feverish skin. Atsumu focused on a certain spot just below your ear, nipping, and sucking at it which pulled a dainty whine from your lips.
ââT-TsumuâAh!â You gasped, his tongue leaving trails of goosebumps beneath its sinful licks against your skin. He cursed under his breath, the dizzying tone of your voice awakening the slumbering carnal beast that resided in his core. With each dulcet moan that slipped past your swollen lips, Atsumu became greedier, he wasnât going to settle for mere kisses on your skinâhe needed to hear more.
Pulling away from your intoxicating scent, Atsumu looked down at you with parted lips, and hooded eyes, caramel gaze clouded with nothing but pure desire. âI think we should take this ta my room.â He panted.
Nodding at his proposal, hurried footsteps padded over to his room as though each second wasted was crucial. As soon as the door behind Atsumu slammed shut, his lips were on yours once again, strong hands deftly working on the layers of clothing you wore, slowly slipping them off of you one by one; Atsumu could practically feel himself shaking with nervousness, and excitement.
Discarding your top on the wooden floor beneath, Atsumu stared wide-eyed at your torso, both hands coming up to cup your breasts through the fabric of your bra, earning a low moan from you. The air of the room felt cold against your skin but Atsumuâs touch was enough to ignite you.
âSo beautiful . .â He absent-mindedly gasped, a lovestruck look in his honeyed eyes.
Hands eagerly tugging at the hem of his hoodie, Atsumu swiftly pulled the fabric off his torso in one movement, golden strands tousled from the action. Goosebumps formed upon his sun kissed skin, bare torso met with the cold winter air; your eyes raked Atsumuâs physique up, and down, shamelessly ogling his muscled chest in all its naked glory. God, you used to just fantasise about this, and now it was served right in front of you on a silver platter.
You decorated each otherâs skin with endless love bites, sinful hues of dark red, and purple peppered along your chest, and neck. Atsumu took his sweet time to savour every bit of youâyour taste, your scent, your sounds, everything. He made sure to bask in your serene beauty, the gentle glow of your bare figure before utterly devouring you like a starved animal, ravaging your purity with carnal desire.
Atsumu let himself go at the raw intimacy of your bodies, the feeling of your sweet warmth brought tears of pleasure in his eyes as he pushed, and pushed towards the newfound ecstasy you both shared. The chant of his name slipped past your lips like a sinful melody, mere fuel to the relentless drive of his hips. But Atsumu held you dearly against his naked body through it all, fingers intertwined with your own as he keenly chased both your pleasures, choked out moans of your name whispered hotly against your sensitive skin.
And as you both tipped over the edge, Atsumu didnât fail to tell you how much he loved you in between each pathetic moan as he painted your insides white, the dizzying pleasure contorting his handsome face in pure ecstasy. You held him in your arms, nails digging crescent-shaped marks on his skin, whispering saccharine praises to him as you let go, and emptied the words of your heart.
As the gentle aftermath of the passionate exchange rolled around, Atsumu held you in his arms, hearts beating as one, and lulling you both to sleep. The last thing you heard was a faint âI love youâ before passing out from exhaustion.
ââTsumu, what did ya want forâOh my god! What the fuck?!âÂ
A familiar voice abruptly pulled you, and Atsumu out of your sleep, followed by the loud bang of his door slamming shut. Muffled expletives from outside the room could be heard as you both stirred beneath the ivory sheets. ââTsumu, what the hell?! Ya shouldâve warned me before I went into yer room!â Osamu yelled from the other side of the door.
Atsumu groaned, rubbing his face before turning to the door, âShut yer trap! Ya shouldâve knocked!â At his twinâs silence, he let out a sigh, and slung a heavy arm around your waist, pulling you flush against his naked body before closing his eyes once again.
You let out a soft chuckle, âWe really need to stop getting caught. First, Suna, and now Osamu.â Atsumu hummed in response, too sleepy to even think or form a coherent sentence. Snuggling closer to him, you closed your eyes, and went back to sleep as well.
Oh, you could get used to this.
Winter slowly turned into spring as March rolled aroundâthe end of the academic year.
Trees that were once bare slowly blossomed with flowers, hues of yellows, and browns were replaced with endless greenery, and frigid air became more welcoming like a warm embrace. Most importantly, the cold distance between you, and Atsumu no longer existed, instead, it was replaced by fluttering heartbeats, and fluffy moments that hinted at a sweet forevermore.
âThere he is! How does it feel to be a fresh graduate!â Suna whistled as Kita walked over to the group, clad in a black academic gown with a matching trencher propped neatly on his head, the golden tassel on the cap swayed with every step taken; he donned a warm smile, one hand holding his well-deserved degree.
The buzz of excitement outside the venue was high, the graduation ceremony having finished just a few minutes ago. You were all surrounded by graduands, all with heartfelt smiles on their faces as they conversed with family, and friends alike.Â
As your friends fell into a merry conversation, a warm hand interlaced with your own, giving your hand a comfortable squeeze. Atsumu. Looking up at your boyfriend, he cheekily leaned into your ear, whispering an âI love youâ before slowly blinking at you, mirroring a catâs action. You let out a small laugh, shaking your head at his antics.
âAre you two lovebirds done, now?â Suna coughed, pulling you back into reality.
Met with amused expressions plastered on your friendsâ faces, you, and Atsumu returned a sheepish smile before joining in their conversation. âAnyway, we were talkinâ about how we should celebrate Kitaâs graduation. It can also serve as a treat for us for makinâ it through another academic year.â Osamu explained, earning a hum of approval from you, and Atsumu.
âHow about a spring trip to Kyoto?â â
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#.recs#s.haikyuu#this is going to be a LONG set of tags bc i know ima have sm to say. i did reread the last ch to put myself in tears again to fit the mood#vision tunneling when atsumu is there is so cute btw ): everything becoming background noise when heâs there ? also u write so pretty.#âit took all the effort for atsumu to ignore the feeling of ur bare skin against hisâ THAT ENTIRE SENTENCE FUUCK pretty ))):#âso .. does that mean we can be friends again?â no. date me . DATe. MEEEEEE. PLEASEEEEE#âa searing itch that left your skin feverishâ yes i remember being in tears last chapter i remember it so vividly . my heart was shattered#ok the small smile after we move our fingers from his actually made me physically react idk why i pictured that 1 so clearly in my head but#âi want you.â âdid you cry thinking about him?â YEAH. YEAH I WAS CRYING IM TEARING UP RN JUST THINKING ABIUT CRYING PLS DATE ME PLS đđđđđPL#THE WAY I JJST GOT SHIVERS AG THE KISS. OH HOW IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT. IM ACTUALLY LIKE D: W A HORRENDOUS BLUSH RN OMG IM So WARM#god FUCKING DAMMIT SUNA FUUUUUCKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU#ok atsumu shielding us makes me feel some kinda way but also suna u asshole âhow was i supposed to know u two were sucking each otherâs fac#kita ? tomfoolery?? thatâs so silly that made me giggle hehe đ heâs such a mood btw i love him#ATSUMU. u want to sit the FURTHEST AWAY FROM ME ? what do u think i have cooties ???? i kissed YOU so that means u have cooties too u GOOF#the gloomy rainy day. tying that in to how we feel. god yue you know to make my head explode (compliment)#âif youâre looking for samuâ ???? did i hear you correctly ?? did i ??????? i donât think so. u are testing me mr atsumu#âmiya.â YEAH TELL HIM WHATS UP !!! (i am also ogling . sweats .. messy hair âŠ. geezâŠ.)#atsumu you. YOU. you didnât regret it !? so why r we not kissing rn . why am i calling you miya rn if u didnât regret it. U TEL#YOU TELL ME. omg he did tell me. oh my eyes r in fact widening oh i am in fact blushing oh this is really something omg omg omg :â)#LIGHT GROANS AND MOANS SLIPPING? This is .. THIS IS ⊠YUE ⊠IM SO !!!! IM#THE TEETH NIPPING AT THE NECKKK GOD I AM ACTUALKY FEVERISH IM ACTUALKY TURNING ON MY FAN RN WTFFFF WTF WTF WTFMSMS#MOANING HIS NAME AND TYHEN HIM CURSING HNDER HIS BREATH PLS I JJST GOT ANITHER SHIVER DOWN MY SPINE#OGLING HIS MUSCLED CHEST YES I AM WHHHWEWWWWWWWW GOD#a faint i love you before falling asleep pls this is so soft. also this scene killed me i am a mess now i have no words#OSAMU ? THe door Slamming SHUT LMAO? OMFGGG WE KEEO GETTING CAUGHT FR#replaced by fluttering heartbeats ): oh no more tears for me yay!!! i can finally experience happiness now#YAYY CONGRATS KITA. omfg the last sentence yue this was fr so perfect i love you so much how am i reading this for free#oh i am so in love with this series oh my god ?? every chapter was so beautifully written im just in awe#the pacing the everything was so perfect . it all felt#i literally love them all. i love every part of this sm i mean it :â( this was such an awesome read fuck what do i do now (i hit 30 tagsâčïž)
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dearly beloved you are in the presence of a man who has seen all of dw*
*not counting the original series or the audio or any of the prose or any of the spinoffs and probably other things im forgetting about
#YAYYY. it was fun#im very intrigued i did like the newest season i sorrrrt of. hrmm. i had fun and i do understand that like. a lot of the stuff was From the#old series lol so i suppose i cant complain but i personally wish there was less likee. god stuff/fantasy stuff just bc i prefer it more#sci-fi at least for dw. this is just my opinion... but i had fun regardless i rly liked ncutis doctor i thought he was so fun#and i also like that even tho hes like. clearly Better at dealing with his stuff he isnt fully pver it and isnt perfect i like that it felt#nice ^_^ i kind of regret being high for like 2 entire episodes but in my defense i didnt realize there were so few in the season... mixed#feelings on this im kinda sad that we only got like. however many eps with ruby BUT i like rhat her story was like. it felt satisfying and#stuff and it had a defined ending and im glad she isnt going to like. overstay. Like someone else i know#flood hss me very eyes bc my mom told me abt how her outfits match rpev companions which i didnt notice#AND. she was wearing fucking claracwntric outfit in the scene where she went clever boy. ill kms before this continues . get her out of h#<- joking. i dont actually hate clara that bad she judt kind of annoyed me a lot and she just like. Stayed around. for so long#and i am sick of her đđ i dont find her interesting at allll i liked her better when she was a dalek and or a victorian lady but tis what#tis. YAY! yay. idk who my favorite doctor was.... difficult to decide#missy easily favorite incsrnation of the master Obviously like thats genuinely my precious princess#and donna my favorite companion That is literally my precious princess.
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