#so like. i guess i understand. but what i dont understand is that this assumes thay jgy's smiles and kindness are ALL a front and that the
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bmpmp3 · 2 months ago
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#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#virvox project#shirakami kotarou#kurono takehiro#vocal synth#voicevox#another one based off the memories of some post i saw a while back. i was like possessed. to redraw vsynth characters in popular posts#also low key this was what it was like being 22 in university classes full of 18-19 year olds for a bit there LHJSKHJFSDAjdfs#THEY WERE nicer about it. but sometimes they would find out my age and i could see the 'grown ass' flicker across their eyes#especially when they topic of discussion was shit like sororities and me not knowing shit about it. in my defence i was 1) confused about#'greek life' for a while because i am mixed race and kind of ambiguous irl so i just assumed it was a like a cultural based society thing#(we have a lot of those in my school its very multicultural) and they made an incorrect guess about my ethnicity again and 2) when I DID#finally figure out what the hell 'greek life' was supposed to be i signed up cause a friend asked me to but i missed the first day of#orientation cause i was sick and then the sororities started sending really passive agressive emails to me so i got scared off LOL#random sorority sidetrack aside. it was really funny when i was like yeah i dont really understand the whole deal#and a classmate was like oh well yeah i guess you wouldnt have the experience how old are you again like 18?#and i was like........................................................i turned 23 a month ago <:3c#and her face journey as she realized i was like 3-4 years older than her.... my apologies my dearest classmate#sowwy for being in my early 20s. it wont happen again <3
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cheeseknives · 4 months ago
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Yes....
...why are you looking at me like that though...
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marcsnuffy · 4 months ago
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I'll share my epinagi thoughts tomorrow👍
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kavennnn · 2 months ago
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"bedrotting is a privilege because i dont have the time to bed rot. when i get home from work im excited that i get to bed rot" Do yall know what that word means
#like srsly#idk if i can rlly talk for this#bcos everytime theres conversation abt this it has to do with paying bills and all that#and i dont have to do that yet#but like for me i spent months almost always in bed#i wasnt even on my phone most of the time#i just lied there thinking abt how to kms and occasionally crying or sleeping#and i got rlly behind in school bcos i didnt do anything for months#and it rlly did fuck up my life#heavily#so idk for all the “bed rotting is a privilege” discourse#i see so many ppl talking abt it like it's just relaxing#and if yall are going to argue abt this can yall atleast know what it means??#like sure yall can have that conversation but atleast know what youre talking abt#and also is it even smthn worth talking abt#idk if it's mean but like what's the point in pointing out that bedrotting is a privilege if it is??#like genuinely#and also alot of the discourse runs on the idea that it doesnt mess up anyone's life and while im not completely sure if i count#bcos im not an adult that pays bills#but like idk i think it does#ik most discourse is stupid#but i dont understand the point of that one anyway#like yeah i guess?? maybe?? if we're assuming that the depressed or disabled person doesnt have their life completely fucked up by it#maybe??#idk. who does it help by saying that a person who can hardly get out of bed is privileged#maybe there is a point to it that im just not thinking of rn#and im sorry for being rlly shortsighted if i am#but like??#i dont understand someone being unable to bedrot bcos itd fuck up their life? bcos like?? yeah that's what it does#maybe i have the wrong definition here bcos im seriously confused
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redmiller · 14 days ago
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i’m trying to figure out how tlovm is gonna wrap up the chroma conclave arc in just three episodes when there’s still so much to do
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dimonds456 · 10 months ago
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I have a lot of mixed feelings about MatPat.
On the one hand, he definitely has a streak of bigotry. The pyro episode really comes to mind on that one, and his refusal to they/them Kris was also not cool, and there have been a lot of other examples here and there.
But he has been getting better. One of his Livestream hosts uses they/them from what I can tell, and I haven't heard any word that he's misgendered them anywhere.
But also, his theories have just been getting lower and lower quality as his channels kinda turned into something one step below a content farm. His Digital Circus theory, for example, he came up with ON GTLive and then just cleaned it up for the episode.
But he was also hosting all four channels. Each channel will have its own host now.
He made a lot of mistakes, but so does everyone.
Am I defending him? I dont know. Do I forgive him? No. Do I honestly care? ...I don't know.
I'm glad he's stepping away. But I'm also gonna miss him.
Like he said in the goodbye video, he was a lot of peoples childhoods. Mine was one of them. He's definitely not the best person nor was he the best influence, but he did help me realize that being a nerd and being passionate are good things. And his passion helped me want to create.
I'm glad he's leaving, but it also feels like my childhood is going with him. One last step towards that all-encompassing 21 in a few months from now.
I'll miss you, Mat. I hope you can continue to grow as a person and support others more in the future. Teach your son what the world failed to teach you when you were younger.
Also read the tags, please, okay Tumblr? Thanks.
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chemicalarospec · 5 months ago
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Me not experiencing any attraction: damn it seems fun kind of wish I did... Lemme pick who I WOULD have a crush on... Trick(??) myself into (thinking I am??) having feelings towards them.
Me experiencing genuine attraction: UMMM what is this i don't know how to deal with this how do i turn it off?
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dandyshucks · 8 months ago
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i havent watched wrestling in so long but i saw some gifs of tonight's match and. whew. that stuff is crazy.
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3416 · 1 year ago
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honestly.. power to the ppl who think nhlers stay good friends with every man they've ever come into contact with since the pee wee leagues but i do have to laugh sometimes
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itbitesthehand · 1 year ago
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I've started doing this thing (or at least I've started to notice myself doing this thing) where I just kinda idk daydream so hard I fall asleep? It's not like my normal fatigue, I'm not exhausted but awake and alarmingly aware of how I can't move, I'm peacefully drifting off to sleep as a daydream ramps up in its vividness until I'm actually just dreaming, and this only takes (or feels like it takes) a few minutes. I'll be having a regular daydream while wide awake, and then suddenly I'm on the cusp of sleep. I'd chalk it up to another facet of my fatigue if it wasn't SUCH a different sensation. I should probably be concerned about this but I don't even know where to start
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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago
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why does everything i get really into always end up being so god damn niche. by the year 2035 i am going to be blogging exclusively about the interpersonal relationships between the pillbugs and snails hiding underneath the bricks lining the flowerbeds in my parent's garden.
#im falling hard into the virvox guys rn sowwy. i like em a lot hee hee. i didnt realize just how small the fanbase for em was tho#actually i didnt realize how small the company that makes them were either. i got so used to the yamahas and cryptons of the vsynth world#that i forgot that like honestly. a lot of the voicebank makers and some of the software makers themselves#theyre like companies of like maybe 5 employees with like no funding LOL not a bad thing but i forgor#but yeah i was looking up to see if there was like. a fanon reason why people shipped takehiro and ryusei? not judging because i get it#i like took one look at the virvox guys and immediately slotted them as a very strange boyband (a catboy and a middle aged dragon man....)#and also took a second look at takehiro and ryusei and assumed they were childhood friends. i saw the doujin flash before my eyes#but also looking into it it seems the fanbase is also like. 20 people. and like 3 of them ship that#and at least one person ships whiteCUL and ryusei? why not LOL when it comes to vsynths sometimes a ship can be spearheaded by like#one very prolific artist HGDJKDFSHDJK which actually reminds me. honestly i dont really have many vsynth ships#i guess i dont really partake in a lot of shipping stuff deeply but i like romance!! you know i like love stories. you know this#i mean i keep calling the eclipsed sounds characters the celestial polycule for a reason tho. im not joking around about this#this is serious to me. they are stars and moons and suns and together they hang out and kiss. in the sky. this is serious to me#also i do like solaria x eleanor forte actually. its a bit random but i understand it. i understand it#and of course the aformentioned takehiro x ryusei. and also the whole virvox polycule. get that old man in here too#(what do they call people like me. a multishipper? i do that a lot. you know this from my otome game fanart LOL)#OH and i dont remember either of their names rn but i like that the cevio bank anju inami voiced has like a big fat crush on like#that girl with the brown hair. i like that theyre like. besties (turning into something more wink wonk)#thinks with all my brain. i think thats it. i dont know why theres so little. i think its because i think of them as like#audio sample libraries first and foremost and i forget about their characters and relationships LOL#but im not against the idea of making some audio sample libraries kiss...... not at all#picks up a guitar sampler and a sound effect cd. presses them together.#hee hee. they kiss
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strikersin · 5 months ago
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Ohhh... they weren't returning my attempts at conversation because they were mad at me
#um... hi mom. you must have been very driven to find out more about me if you're reading this. i must live in my own fantasy world if i-#truly thought that things were alright. i wish i had picked up on that sooner. this month has been hard and i feel really sick#that's no excuse clearly and I'm disappointed in myself as well as very sorry to you. I had no idea what you've been through and my brain-#must be so different that it's unable to interpret the very obvious signs. gosh. i feel really silly now for going on like that. I'm so-#sorry. however it is not the time to say any of this. my reason for writing this is that if you feel compelled to read this blog-#um. all my private interests and stories would be on display. ones that i wasnt ready to tell you yet. assuming that you haven't already-#found this blog and read through it. im really very sorry. i guess this was my attempt at being social online and connecting with my peers.#but honestly i was unsuccessful at that and it's all embarrassing now. you probably don't respect me and I think I deserve that.#i shouldnt have put things on the internet that I didn't expect you to see. it felt like my cozy place and i... shouldnt have got so caught-#up in that. im so sorry for the way things have worked out. I respect your feelings and strive to be considerate of them. if you're seeing-#this than clearly I've failed. that hurts me more than i can say (and i dont expect you to believe me) but I'll never be sorry enough.#and i am really really sorry to you. i thought things were different. i must be delusional holding on to this. if you don't want to see me-#anymore I understand#but I'll forever be sorry.
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mihotose · 7 months ago
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ive gotta be honest i have no idea why the plasmic manifestations post has nearly 1k i was thinking about inframaterialism whats everyone else thinking about
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ravegore · 7 months ago
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Ok now that my rage is mostly past i am in more lalaland. Glad to put my energy towards being happy and improving my life with my friends that i love and trust
#i am still miffed that this was public but#it occurred to me it might also be bothering me so intensely because#it seemed we both agreed to move past each other and let go for now#n sure maybe this is what he needed to do to let go#it just feels kinda inflammatory.#but its only as much as i engage it with. which i dont plan to do#i hope my silence helps him reflect#and theres also just#a certain irony to the whole thing that i spent many many years trying to give advice on their relationship trying to help only for nothing#and now this very fresh very new issue suddenly is relationship breaking and hes already given up trying to help#lol#i guess he knows how i feel now though#idk#if anything better for him i guess to cut it off now rather than try repeatedly like i did (unless this already is repeat)#it also just feels like#he really doesnt even know who i am as a person#even after all this time#i dont want to say hes just wrong about everything because i definitely did say some dumb shit in the last few months#but it just feels like hes not even trying#or there are things hes not telling me#i keep telling my side explaining myself explaining what i mean and he just keeps. dare i use this word. Assuming things about me#anytime i have a conversation with him i just feel like im running in a circle i dont understand and i never know how to feel about anythin#and i dont understand what hes talking about what he wants what hes really feeling whats going wrong#and... comparing that to the friends i have now#its just even more obvious they're a lot better for me#i dont think friends are supposed to make you feel like this
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pa-pa-plasma · 1 year ago
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has anyone else noticed that people who aren't writers & know nothing about writing are acting like an authority on storytelling or is it just me
#like i keep seeing people being like ''this is bad dont do it ever'' & it's a vital part of certain genres or tropes#& also ''do this all the time or else'' & it's something that is actually a bad writing tip with basically no exceptions#& when i'm like ''actually no'' i get dogpiled by people going ''uhh uhh i've written 1000 books i know what im talking about''#& then i look at their profile & they're 20. & complaining about their 25yo boyfriend publicly#& their work is. not good. to say the least#or maybe these people are just the loudest & people who arent shitheads are just minding their own business#i guess what im saying is if you dont understand why something is the way it is just fucking ask someone who knows#instead of putting your misunderstanding of it out there like you're an authority figure on something you either#arent involved in the creation of or just arent very good at#& that isnt an insult. youre allowed to admit you arent good at stuff#i'm not good at stuff & because of that i wouldnt act like an authority figure on like. idfk. painting#i CAN paint. am i good at it? no (this isn't counting spray paint but i still wouldnt act like an authority on that either)#the reason i act like an authority on writing is because i study writing & writing styles#i write! i practice different types of writing all the time! i read a lot of different books! writing is a HYPERFIXATION of mine literally!#i can literally predict entire movies & books & shows because i can SEE the thought process behind it#so like. dont come @ me being like ''you dont understand'' because i DO understand. which is WHY it annoys me so much#anyway i blame all of this on people acting like art is supposed to be consumed#this obviously isnt a thought out essay just a rant so like. assume i know whatever youre going to ''um actually'' me about
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mrfoox · 2 years ago
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Talking with Oliver really is the best tbh
#miranda talking shit#Its a roller-coaster for sure. And im sure it is for him as well lmao#I started to tear up bc i thought about Fabian having have told me he really wants to be a father one day and he was so hopeful sounding#So i started tearing up bc i thought of that memory. And Oliver wad like... Why are you crying ? And i wad like... Bc i thought of Fabian#Telling me he wants to be a dad? And after a while he wad like 'i dont understand. Like you saying youre emotional bc#Fabian. Wanting to be a dad like wtf?' and i laughed bc... Yeah that does sound strange to say. To me its natural bc i can recall how he#Sounded. Ive learned to recognize his diffrent tones and he sounded so happy and hopeful and cute so to me that's precious memory#And i talked more than i usually do in general. And shared more and yeah im anxious about that but it was nice#He said one thing that almost made me cry but then i remembered the way of thinking 'he didn't mean it as an insult to me just a fact' so i#Was fine. Aka he said something like 'i think you think youre understanding. But there are things one cant understand if you have not#Experienced it' and thats true. I try to be understanding but also i know i cant understand everything because i have no reference to#Everything. Talking with Oliver is so fucking refreshing for me bc of how diffrent he is and how he talks in general. He says what he feels#Or tries to. I find that great tbh. Open communication and i dont have to think about it and guess bc he'll explain to me instead#So even if i cant relate or understand i will usually hear another diffrent opinion and its fun.#'i think being emotional is nice. I wish i was more emotional. Its nice that you and other people like you are that'#Getting even an general compliment from oliver is a big boost for my ego lol. He hates saying things you personal terms#Im guessing its bc hes scared of intimacy in general meanwhile im ... Kinda similar. I say we often and like to see myself as part#Of an group. Aka my friends. But i will say shit i think openly and be sappy unless i think people wont like it jskfksjajnfjf#It was fun to hear something positive from him tbh. I always admire people and their diffrent qualities but i assume they dislike mine#So hearing someone liking my... Less popular/fun traits is always nice. I know im emotional and sensitive but 9/10 times people find it#Annoying. I personally dont dislike that part of me. When i do its bc i know others think im too much so i dislike making then uncomfortabl
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