#so like. he's literally just hired for his fame.

[blu-s0da]

what is it with jacksepticeye and being in mediocre but popular indie games

[starboundsingularities]

good lird they did not make a gimmick blog about a real life murder

#someone fucking DIED but whatever who gives a shit it's funny i guess

7 notes

🥚 eggvidenced Follow

honestly with how suspicious and confusing everything on the dl-6 case was i wouldn't be surprised if it came out that it was that prosecutor guy tbh

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

date posted: june 23, 2010

1,834,853 notes

⚖️ courtofpublicopinions Follow

🌟 rockliker270 Follow

ok hear me out. what abt winston payne though

🧊 just--ice Follow

okay now they're just making lawyers up

#also didn't mvk die or something?

28,932 notes

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

why the fuck are you people still posting about the gavinners as if theyre not copaganda. didn't the guitarist get convicted of murder

🎸 guiltiest-lovers837 Follow

so fucking tired of this "um um didn't daryan get convicted of murder" YEAH AND HE'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE FUCKING BAND ANYMORE. dipshit

🔥 triedbyfire Follow

are you gonna address the copaganda thing or

1,092 notes

🌻 attorneybout Follow

he's so. 😳

📂 trialanderror Follow

why is he defending

📂 trialanderror Follow

OP WHY IS HE DEFENDING???

24,374 notes

🦈 giantlakemonsters Follow

i just wanna hear about another gourdy sighting thats all

🥜 liberdeez Follow

op. i'm so sorry op. gourdy isn't real you have to let her go. they had a whole trial about it.

🔐 wrightorwrong Follow

hi!! so this isn't actually the case as while gourdy was briefly mentioned in a trial, said trial had nothing to do with whether or not gourdy was "real" per se as much as. well. murder, actually. while gourdy WAS found out to be an inflatable steel samurai this was not brought up in the case at all as the veracity of gourdy wasn't really as relevant as the fact that the witness was looking for gourdy rather than at the murder she claimed to have seen. plus this was also a relatively small part of a MUCH larger trial which for those interested not only solved the dl-6 case but ALSO marked the end of prosecutor von karma's ~40 year long record and the court records are really a fascinating read through!!

🦀 mad_libz_87 Follow

net 0 information post

#thanks again lawblr

94,834 notes

🍒 cherriescoola Follow

btw i was at the park the other day and klavier gavin (of gavinners fame) was there and obv there was a huge crowd but this guy was there with him and at some point he (the other guy) waved to the crowd and someone still screamed like it was klavier??? who was that guy ive never seen him before in my life

2,284 notes

🩸 has-dl6-been-solved-yet Follow

December 28, 2016

YES!!!

702,947 notes

🪙 tellerlikeitis Follow

guys help i'm a bank teller and this guy just introduced himself as robin banks what do i do

🔪 violencekilling Follow

you gotta let him rob you that's the law

302,948 notes

👻 ghostesswiththemostest Follow

look if i ever get convicted of murder im just hiring the lawyer with the coolest sounding name

💼 courtofwaw Follow

bestie if you already got convicted it is Too Late

62,193 notes

📋 lawandwhoreder Follow

guys i know it's real fun to think people just can predict whatever but if you look at the earliest reblogs of that post that "guessed" the true killer in the dl-6 case it was actually a post about how they didn't want to go to the store. clearly edited

#stg nobody bothers to factcheck anything anymore

7,293 notes

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

i am NOT homophobic or whatever the fuck you guys are saying now i just think its weird to write fanfiction about realass people?? go touch grass ffs

🌈 lawsbian Follow

the fun police (this guy) putting me in yaoi court but the lawyers (phoenix witrght and miles edgeworth) just keep trying to make out (real court is like this too btw)

🐺 lawnewolf Follow

YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.

#look idc what your enemies to lovers fic bullshit says #they're straight. and more importantly REAL PEOPLE. #there's TENSION because they are in COURT and there are LIVES on the LINE. #not because they wanna fuck. god.

12,293 notes

🔮 inhighspirits Follow

why dont they just ask the spirit mediums to ask the victims who killed them this law shit is easy

837,495 notes

💞 lawveyourself Follow

seriously i cant believe they gave this guy a law degree

💞 lawveyourself Follow

what do you mean evidence fraud

503,893 notes

🎧 instrumentalillness Follow

fuck you *unguilties your love*

384,568 notes

🎀 copiicat Follow

perjury isnt illegal btw in fact if youre one of tge witnesses youre legally required to lie on the stand. thats why everyone does it. trust me

[pomefioredove]

hii! i love your writing a lot! and its my first time requesting something so im sorry if it sounds weird.

could i request a reader who loves to give their friend or partner lots gifts(preferably handmade ones!!) and affection? like they just make gifts for them and randomly shower them with affection without any reason

please do it with the overblot gang or simply just riddle, azul and vil !!

also im sorry if you already did something like that ; ;

hi anon!! thank you for waiting so patiently for this <3

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ gifting!

type of post: headcanons characters: riddle, azul, vil additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu

pleasant surprise is not something that Riddle feels often, and gifts, especially such thoughtful ones, are not something he's used to. his mother never bought him anything that wasn't a necessity, and aside from what little Trey and Che'nya could sneak to him when they were children, Riddle just... doesn't get gifts

especially without a reason. the first time you leave a love note and roses at his desk, he's worried that he somehow forgot something- a birthday, a holiday, an anniversary?

you have to reassure him that you don't need a reason to be nice to him, and he deserves to be spoiled

which is... weird... for him to hear

still, he treasures every single thing you get him. trinkets go on a well-kept shelf in his room, practical gifts get used until they're falling apart, and he even presses the flowers you give so he can keep them forever

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Azul lives in a give-and-take world. which is often... bad, but can be extraordinarily sweet when he applies that to your relationship

he wakes up to flowers on his doorstep? you'll be getting a bouquet the very next day. you write him a lovely note? he'll send one of his own right back. you make him something thoughtful, personal, and sweet? he will literally teach himself how to sew, paint, write, et cetera, and get you something you'll love by next week

(your crafting skills are incredible to him, by the way)

it's not even that he doesn't want to "owe you" anything; it's that he wants you to feel just as loved and special as you make him feel

he's never a neglectful boyfriend, I can tell you that much

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

there's something that can be so special about handmade gifts. Vil thinks of this often; he finds himself absolutely in love with everything you give him. he almost feels guilty wearing the jewelry or clothing you make, as if it should be put on display rather than worn

it's just so... you know?

you thought of him while you made this. you sat down, thought, "what would Vil like?" and made something. not because he hired you to, or because you want fame or money or success, but because you love him

as a person. not as an actor, or a model, or an image

oof. it's like an arrow straight through his heart. he loves to carry around the things you gift him, just so someone will notice and ask

he always gets the biggest smile telling them that his partner made it

[shaiprsly]

𝐂𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : Elvis Presley x Fem!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : 1972. Fame, wealth, and the haunting allure of Elvis Presley—everything Y/N could ever want, except the one thing that really matters: a simple, normal life. Hired as the nanny for Lisa Marie Presley, Y/N is thrown into the heart of the Presley world, where she quickly becomes more than just a caretaker for Elvis's daughter. As Priscilla remains distant, Y/N steps in, offering Lisa Marie the affection and attention she craves. But it’s Elvis, cold and aloof at first, who soon becomes captivated by her. With 15 years between them, Elvis begins to blur the lines between professional and personal, showering Y/N with gifts and flirting dangerously. He may be married, but that doesn't stop him from wanting Y/N. Torn between duty and desire, Y/N must face the growing tension, knowing that giving in could shatter everything she’s worked for. Will she resist the King of Rock and Roll, or will his love prove impossible to escape?

𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬/𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : Cussing, cheating, age gap (Elvis is 37, reader is 22), virgin reader, emotional manipulation. I guess that all !!

𝐀/𝐍 : Hi so this is my first time writing and actually posting (and it's literally a whole fic), but I wanted to give it a try!! Let me know what you think and if I should keep writing, because I'm not sure lmao, I might change little thing in the story !! ALSO MY FIRST LANGUAGE ISN'T ENGLISH!! I'M FRENCH LOLLZ

February 15th, 1972

You stand at the base of the grand staircase, your heart pounding in your chest. The door in front of you looms like a barrier between the life you’ve always known and the unknown world that lies just beyond it. The house, a sprawling mansion with gleaming white columns and intricate ironwork, feels both overwhelming and intimidating. It’s everything you’ve read about in magazines and seen on TV—the kind of place people dream of living in but never actually do. But today, it’s not a dream. Today, it’s your reality.

You’ve always been practical, grounded by the simplicity of life. Growing up in the countryside, you never imagined you’d end up here, working for one of the most famous families in the world. But here you are, standing in front of the Presley estate, about to walk into a life so far removed from your own that it almost feels surreal.

Priscilla Presley had called you last Tuesday, saying she’d come across your nanny advertisement in a mall, and that she needed help with Lisa Marie since Elvis would be away for a month. You had never worked for anyone like them, and the idea of leaving your quiet, small-town life was intimidating. But when Priscilla’s calm, urgent voice came over the phone, you couldn’t refuse. After asking you a series of questions, she offered you the job, promising a paycheck at the end of the month of $3,700. It seemed too good to be true, but you couldn't turn it down. This was Elvis Presley’s daughter—how could you?

Still, that knot of nervousness twisted in your stomach. You'd been a nanny before, in your small town, but this was a whole different level.

You shift your weight, feeling the weight of the mansion’s presence. The world you’re about to step into feels much larger than you, and you’re unsure if you’ll ever truly fit in. But there’s no turning back now. You’ve been hired, and now you have to prove you can do the job. As you lift your hand to knock on the door, it opens slowly, and there he is.

Elvis Presley.

In person.

Standing before you.

You’ve seen him on TV, in movies, and on the covers of countless magazines, but nothing prepared you for the way he commands a room the moment he steps into it. His presence is magnetic—powerful, undeniable. He’s taller than you imagined, his broad shoulders filling the doorframe, his gaze steady and intense. There’s something about the way he looks at you—cold, assessing, as if he’s evaluating you in the span of a single heartbeat.

“Must be Y/N,” he says, his voice low, rough, and heavy with that familiar drawl. “Priscilla told me you’d be here, she's out for the day.”

You nod, throat tight. You’re not sure what to say. Elvis Presley doesn’t feel like a real person. He feels like an idea, a legend. And yet, here he is, standing right in front of you. “Yes, that’s me,” you manage, trying to sound confident, though your heart is racing. “I’m here to look after Lisa Marie.”

His eyes flicker for just a moment, a hint of something you can’t place passing through them, but then it’s gone, replaced by the same indifferent expression. “Come in,” he grunts, stepping aside to let you enter. His voice is dismissive, as if he’s done this countless times before.

You step inside, the cool air of the mansion washing over you. The grand foyer is decorated with dark wood furniture, vintage paintings on the walls, and thick, plush rugs that muffle your footsteps. The space feels like it’s frozen in time, a snapshot of another era. You feel like you’ve stepped into a different world, one where wealth and fame are the rules, not the exceptions.

“Hey, squirt,” Elvis calls out, his voice surprisingly soft for a moment. You turn, and Lisa Marie is standing there, staring up at you with big, innocent eyes.

“Are you the new lady?” Lisa Marie asks, her voice soft but clearly curious. She can barely form full sentences at her age, but you catch the excitement in her tone. She’s only four, after all.

You smile, kneeling to meet her at eye level. “Yes, I’m Y/N,” you reply gently. “I’m here to look after you.”

Lisa Marie grins widely and grabs your hand. “Yay! I like you,” she says, pulling you toward the living room. You can’t help but laugh, her enthusiasm melting some of your nerves.

As you follow her, Elvis lingers in the background, crossing his arms and watching you both with a detached interest. His gaze, however, is still sharp, as if he’s measuring you up, trying to figure you out.

“Don’t make a mess, kid,” Elvis mutters under his breath, not even glancing at Lisa Marie. It’s clear he’s trying to maintain some semblance of authority, but he doesn’t seem particularly engaged with his daughter. He’s just there, overseeing it all.

Lisa Marie pulls you down to the carpet, surrounded by her scattered toys. She starts showing you some of her favorites, her speech still childlike and a little jumbled. “This is my bear. He talks,” she says, holding up a stuffed animal that looks like it’s seen better days.

“Really?” you ask, playing along. “What does he say?”

“He says ‘I love you,’” she replies matter-of-factly, “but only when no one’s looking.” She giggles softly and looks over at her father.

You glance over, and Elvis is still watching, but now his gaze is a little different—colder, perhaps, but you can’t be sure. He’s standing against the doorframe, arms crossed, his jaw tight as he observes you.

“Do what you gotta do, but keep it quiet,” he grumbles. “Lisa’s gotta learn some focus.”

You try not to let his words bother you. It’s clear he’s not the warmest man, and his attitude toward you seems colder with every passing moment. But you’re not here to be distracted by him. You’re here for Lisa Marie, and that’s all that matters.

____

The afternoon sun hangs lazily in the sky, casting long shadows across Lisa's room. Lisa had finally fallen asleep around 3 PM, her small body curled into a peaceful ball on her hamburger bed, the gentle rise and fall of her chest the only sound in the otherwise still room. You smile at her for a moment, the warm feeling of accomplishment filling your chest. You had managed to calm her down after a long afternoon of playing, and now, for the first time in what felt like hours, you have a moment to yourself.

With soft steps, you turn and leave the bedroom, your fingers brushing against the cool walls of the hallway as you make your way toward the living room. You need a break, just a few minutes away from the constant responsibility of being Lisa Marie’s caretaker. But as you step into the living room, you freeze in place.

There, on the couch, is Elvis.

He’s sitting back with his legs spread out, a glass of whiskey in his hand. It’s barely 3:15 PM, and yet, there he is, drinking. You blink, confused by the sight. You glance at him, and his eyes flicker up from his glass, catching yours. But he doesn’t say anything, his gaze simply lingering over you, as if expecting you to say something.

You don’t. You don’t have the courage to. After all, you’re not here to challenge him or question his choices. You’re here to take care of Lisa. That's it.

As you take a hesitant step forward, your eyes can’t help but notice something strange. Elvis is taking more than just a drink. With the glass still in his hand, he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a small bottle of pills. Your heart skips a beat as he pops a few into his mouth, tossing the bottle back into his pocket without a second thought.

Your mind races. You’re not sure what those pills are, but the way he’s handling them, so casually, it feels like something you shouldn’t be witnessing. You stand there, paralyzed by the scene in front of you, unsure of what to do. You don’t want to intrude, but the anxiety building in your chest makes it hard to ignore the obvious signs of something troubling happening.

You stand frozen, unsure if you should say something, or if you should just leave and pretend like you didn’t see anything. But before you can make up your mind, Elvis's voice cuts through the thick air.

“What the hell do you want?” he growls, his tone sharp, and full of irritation. His eyes narrow at you, anger flickering behind them.

You jump back in surprise. “I— I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you stammer, your hands instinctively clasping together. “I just thought I should check on you, maybe—”

“Check on me?” Elvis interrupts, his voice rising. He slams his glass down on the table with a loud thud, causing you to flinch. “You’ve got no damn business checking on me! You’re here for one thing, and one thing only— to take care of Lisa. And that’s it, understand?”

His words hit you like a slap. The sharpness in his voice cuts through you, and for a moment, you can’t breathe. Your mouth opens to respond, but nothing comes out. Your heart is pounding in your chest, your body trembling under the weight of his words.

“I— I just thought I could help, but I didn't mean to see you like—” you whisper, trying to make sense of the situation.

“Help?” he spits, his words venomous. “You think I need help from you? You’re not here to ‘help’ me, darlin'. You’re here to watch my kid, to make sure she’s taken care of. You’re nothing more than a stupid nanny. Nothing more!”

The insult stings like a slap in the face. You want to argue back, to stand your ground, but it’s hard when you’re this shaken. Your breath hitches in your throat as his words cut through you, each one sinking deeper and deeper. You had hoped, naively, that you could have a more personal connection with him, but now it feels like that’s never going to happen.

Elvis stands up, towering over you, his expression twisted in anger. He steps forward, closing the distance between you. The air around you feels thick and suffocating as he grabs your arm, pulling you harshly toward the door.

“You’re not welcome here, d'ya hear me? Get the hell out of my house!” he shouts, his grip tightening around your arm as he shoves you toward the door.

The force of his push sends a shock of fear through you. You stumble back, your eyes wide with shock. “Mr.Presley, please—” you begin, but he cuts you off.

“I don’t want t'hear it! I’ve got no goddamn time for your pity, or your whining! You’re just here to look after Lisa—nothin' else! Now get out, before I make you leave!” He’s shouting now, his voice seething with fury.

Tears sting at the corners of your eyes as you struggle to regain your balance, the sting of his words cutting deep. You can’t believe this is happening. The man you’d been trying so hard to please all day, is now throwing you out of his house like you’re nothing. His hands are still gripping your arm, pushing you toward the door with alarming force.

“Please, Mr.Presley…” you beg, your voice shaky, so afraid of loosing your job the first day you got it, but he’s having none of it.

“Didn’t y'hear me?” he snarls, his face twisted in disgust. “You’re just a damn servant to me! That’s all you are. So get out of my damn house before I call security to throw you out!”

Your chest is tight with emotion as he shoves you toward the front door. You don’t have the strength to fight him. The tears you’ve been holding back fall freely now, but there’s no use. He doesn’t care.

With one last, hard push, he opens the door and practically forces you outside, slamming it shut behind you with a finality that echoes through the empty hallway.

You stand there on the doorstep, your body trembling. Your hands are shaking as you wipe your tears away, but it does nothing to stop the flood of emotions pouring out of you. How did things get so bad? Why did Elvis, the person you tried so hard to help, turn on you so cruelly?

Your mind is a mess of confusion and hurt. You had only wanted to be kind, to make things easier for Lisa, but instead, you’re treated like garbage. You had hoped that maybe, just maybe, Elvis would see the real you, see that you were trying to help him, too. But now, all you are is a nuisance in his eyes.

Hesitating for a moment, you turn and walk down the front steps. Every part of you is screaming to go back inside, to make things right, but deep down, you know it’s not going to happen. Not today. Not after the way he treated you.

You have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but as you walk away from the house, you wonder if it’s worth coming back at all.

to be continued...

[live-fast-pet-frogs]

Can I just appreciate the fact that while Mike Flanagan has the actors he loves working with and frequently appear in his shows/films he always adds new actors to his cast with each show?

Bonus because none of the actors in his cast are like mega-famous (i mean Julia Roberts or RDJ level) although they're super talented! I think more directors need to follow this example and work with new, talented actors rather than exhausting the entire budget just to hire an A-lister and then doom the rest of the production. I know that certain filmmakers think that hiring someone who is already very famous will bring in more of an audience but there are so many talented and wonderful actors around who are literally just waiting for their breakthrough in the industry and it's such a waste that some filmmakers decide to give even more spotlight and money to actors who are already millionaires and have absolutely no issue booking jobs.

Btw I'm not saying hire lesser known actors out of pity, I'm saying that talent doesnt always mean fame, and there are plenty of talented actors who aren't going to cost the entire budget of a production which means more money to spend on crew, costumes and set design.

I really liked how the One Piece live action did that too, none of the actors were very famous A-listers (correct me if I'm wrong though), and most of them had their first major role in the show. They were all super great and I doubt they will have trouble booking jobs in the future!

[a-not-so-clean-blog]

Nu carnival x celebrity gn

Yakumo

Singing together while cooking is one of your favorite activities! He is very shy and sweet and that's so endearing. Despite his social anxieties he does make a point to come out to your shows whenever he can. You always smile a little bigger when you see him in the crowd. You know it does make him nervous to be around so many people, but he loves you so much and he puts in the effort to know that he supports you no matter what.

Edmond

At one point knights were hired as bodyguards to protect you for a high profile show and that's how the two of you met. You impressed him on stage and he impressed you with his strength. It's a solid relationship built on mutual admiration. He's probably one of the only people you can go on a date with and not be swarmed by fans. It's nice to have a literal bodyguard as a boyfriend.

Olivine

You two instantly bond over the shared trauma of having insane fan clubs. He listened with an open heart to your confessions about the stress being a celebrity was giving you. At the time you just wanted to quit and leave your life behind but after talking it over with him you relaxed a little bit and decided that it was hard but not a hardship you couldn't overcome. Sometimes it feels like the two of you are the only ones who understand each other. It's a little bit of an equality that you both appreciate and it brings a sense of normalcy that you both crave from each other.

Quincy

You two met because you desperately needed a break from your fans. The only place you could think of to get away was the forest, and unfortunately you got lost. You would have stayed lost if Quincy didn't find you by accident. He didn't know that you were famous and honestly didn't care that you were. After you two got together he became a safe haven for you to get away from the stress of life. When you see him you almost instantly relax because he gives off this calming and protective aura that you don't feel anywhere else but by his side.

Kuya

He knows exactly who you are and found you interesting enough to mess with. What started off as him trying to mess with you to see if he could incite riots with your fans turned into him respecting how you handled the situations that he put you through. When he eventually ‘accidentally bumped into you’ and introduced himself you had no idea that he was the one making your life slightly more annoying. Eventually you figure it out because he couldn't help but drop hints but you did wind up forgiving him.

Blade

He may have actually fallen in love with you before he met you. If he had a radio in the dead zone then I definitely think he's heard you before, and maybe even have fallen a little for your sweet voice or demeanor. He doesn't get jealous but he does get concerned when he sees you overwhelmed with crowds. He always asks if you're okay after a performance. If he's really worried you'll buy him a cute thing and then he will forget about his worry until the next performance…

Garu

I think you met after one of your performances and you were trying to get away from the crowd. All he saw was you trying to get away from a group of people and his instincts kicked in and he stepped in between you and the ravenous fans. He's very sweet and supportive. It's nice knowing that he doesn't like you just because of your fame.

Karu

Guard dog. Head of your security and no you don't get a choice about it. He's impressed by your power to sway people and get people to like you. You explain how it's because you're a celebrity but any explanation goes in one ear and out the other. He doesn't understand or care about why, he just likes how you ‘have power over people’. He did develop genuine feelings after this but it definitely started with him trying to learn your secret to control people's hearts

Dante

He's definitely more famous than you…but that kind of comes with the territory of being a king. Sometimes he may ask you to do a show for his soldiers to boost morale. Sometimes that's just an excuse to get you to come to Solaria and see him. Both of you have extremely busy schedules so you both understand it's difficult to make free time and you both fully appreciate the time you get to spend with each other. He's very kind in private and because of your schedules quality time even in total silence has become your love language.

Rei

He does not want to admit he's jealous of the attention you give your fans. Trying to talk to him about it is like pulling teeth. I think you two got together before you got famous and he is not handling the change well. Give him a little bit of personal attention and that may help or it may make it worse. He respects your career choices but that doesn't mean he has to be happy about it.

Eiden

He has definitely fantasized about sleeping with a celebrity, so actually getting to date one is a dream come true. He treats you the same as he does his clan members. Basically he treats you like a normal human being and that taste of normalcy is not something you get in your day-to-day life. It soon becomes something that you crave and one of the things you love most about him.

Aster

He's definitely going to sell merch for you. Whether you know it or not. You may be his first love but profit is definitely a close second. He does offer to help for event planning or for designing merch for you as well. It's nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of. He may have actually approached you initially because he thought he could make a profit on you, and eventually those pesky feelings set in so now he's stuck emotionally attached to you.

Morvay

He's not normally a jealous person, but I think you being a celebrity might make him a bit jealous or flustered. He doesn't mind sharing people physically, however he does still crave private time with you and your busy schedule doesn't allow for a lot of that. He takes full advantage of any time he gets to be alone with you. If you shoot him a wink while you're on stage or during a show then he is going to practically melt. That helps a little bit with his jealousy but definitely just makes him more eager to get his hands on you later.

[dozing-marshmallow]

Do you have any more headcanons of Chris being a dad? This time raising his teenager who wants to get in the show despite reader's detest?

My motivation is back. 🙌 Apologises for putting these off for so long and thank you all so much for being so patient. I hope you’ve all had a wonderful start in the Spring Season and may you enjoy the read!💗

CHRIS MCLEAN AS A DAD HEADCANONS PART 2

Once a month, he and the child have this all nighter of ordering fast food and playing video games.

Chris is the type of dad to play games like Mortal Kombat, Call of Duty and GTA 5 with his teenager.

Obviously you don’t approve of it, but it’s better than her trying to persuade you into letting her on his show.

Like last time.

“Chris’ show?” you consciously blinked,“Why would you want to go on that show, sweetheart?”

“I have what it takes!” she gleefully replies, putting a proud hand on her chest,“And besides, if you’re comfortable with all the other kids my age going on, you should be fine with me, mom!”

You sighed. There would be so many complications that could wreck Total Drama if the host’s damn daughterjoined as a contestant,“But my dear... The whole point of the show is to win money! And mommy and daddy already-“

“I don’t care about the money!” she snapped in interruption, yet her tone remained in her own way benevolent,“Iwant to start drama. I’ve had plenty of experience in doing that!”

To your horror, Chris gave a grand laugh at that,“That’s my girl!” 

“Support me here! I’m not letting you feed into her delusion that she’ll actually be going on your show! This is horrible influence!“ you scolded Chris unimpressed with how okay he was with this idea, turning back to the daughter in question, with a dejected frown,“Darling, it’s a bad idea! Maybe another show daddy’s hosting, but notthis one. I don’t approve.” 

“Daaaaaad.” she whined, her begging eyes rolled onto him.

“I know, I know.” Your husband exhales a disappointing breath. And it’s not exactly like he can bring her on secret since it’s a reality show,“Just goes to show how mother doesn’t always know best.”

“You said something, Chris?” You said, removing the flip flop off your foot and gripping it in your hand.

He nervously smiles seeing you armed,“Naaaah. I-I said nothing.”

You humphed. Why can’t they both see that you were thinking of them long term?

Regardless, he goes all out on spoiling her, no thing is ever too expensive for his little girl.

Why wait for sixteen to throw her an expensive birthday party?

Albeit, it seems she’s taken after your morals as she also puts a lot of her allowance (Keep in mind, she gets the literal prize money amount every month) towards charities and many shelters.

Thank God for that.

If she ever brought a boyfriend home, Chris would plaster hospitality and bump a fist.

Though, he’ll do a lot of interrogating and enjoy the hell out of torturing the guy if he turns out to be even the slightest bit scumbag.

Rather than letting his fame decide, Chris actually asked her which type of school she wanted to go to.

“Public!” she chose quickly.

Chris raised an eyebrow. He had bet a yacht and two helicopters she’d pick private,“Why’s that?”

“Because I read in a book once that this girl went to a boarding school and her dad, who was paying the fees, died so she got abused by the people at the school, and I don’t want you to die.”

Chris’ eyebrows then came to the same level as he chuckled,“I’m a host, not a military captain for World War One, tiger,” but sure, whatever she wanted.

She never had any crying at the dinner table over maths homework nights with him.

For he was way too busy to not hire a tutor for her.

“Hi darling!” you kiss her cheek,“How was school today?”

“School was good-“ she’d catch sight of Chris entering the kitchen and before you knew it, she was sprinting to him.

“Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, I have new gossip to tell you!” she could hardly contain the excitement seeping on her face and tone.

He’d smirk and take a seat at his island counter, cup of coffee in hand,“I’m all ears!”

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

Helluvaboss? Never seen it? Oh cool, cool, I gotchu boss. It's a silly, goofy cartoon adult show about silly Imps who go down to earth and murder people they're hired to murder! Lots of sex jokes, swearing, and absurd situations. The best part is one is fucking a literal prince and they're into BDSM and bondage so LOTS of fun sexy jokes and moments there! Here, I'll introduce you:

This one? Oh yeah, this one's the main character. He adores ponies and makes dozens of horse OC's for a pony show he likes, pairing them up and making whole little relationship charts for them. He also has several horse plushies and hand makes his own horsie branded things; but he can't really spell so he does his best. He has a stuffed horse his boyfriend gave him called Spirit Jr . because Spirit is his favorite movie, and he's a deeply loving man who cares intensely for the people he considers family and is protective of them to the point of risking himself. He desperately craves love and affection despite hating himself so much that he genuinely believes he's not and has never been worth anyone's!

This one? Oh, this one's the main character's best friend-turned-enemy-turned-best friend. It's a long story. He's a fully disabled sweetheart who adores his boyfriend with all his heart and would quite literally run himself ragged to make people smile. He's a soft, gentle, kind-hearted babydoll who doesn't believe he's good enough to have the fame that he's earned through struggle, pain, and hard work or the love of his boyfriend, and wants nothing more then to be a happy little lap kitty with happy friends and the open affection of his partner!

These two? Oh, this is Moxxie and Millie. They work for the Main Character and they're a happily married, emotionally stable, well adjusted and healthy couple! They have their problems like anyone else, of course, but they ultimately get through their issues with communication, patience, and understanding, and they love each other deeply and dearly- they'll do anything for the other.

Millie is an emotionally intelligent, loving, motherly rough and tumble type who loves a good scuffle but is nothing but gentle towards her friends and loved ones, unless they need a kick to the butt. She's overly competitive and sometimes her anger gets the better of her, but she's ultimately about the most well adjusted person in the cast! Moxxie is a shy, anxious, socially awkward love bug who really just wants to listen to his musicals and cuddle his wife in peace! He adores art in almost any form, in 110% whipped and both knows and loves it, and he's terrified of rejection and desperate for the approval of those around him!

He's a little crack shot and arguably the most lethal person in the cast, but legitimately can't bring himself to fire a shot in the first episode because he might be ruining an innocent family, and that thought destroys him! Give him a gun and a bullet and your ass is finished, but he'd really rather not!

This is Stolas! He's the main character's boyfriend- er, sort of. It's a whole thing. He's been in a fridge! He's a depressed, socially anxious mess who loves romance novels, singing, telenovas and romcoms! He wants to be swept up in a whirlwind romance, and is desperate to find happiness and love after being forced into an abusive arranged marriage to a woman who he's as gay as a unicorn's fart! He has and adores a daughter with his whole heart and she may be among the only things keeping him alive and kicking! He's a genuinely kind, sweet, and deeply loving man who cares quite a bit for our Main Character and, despite his flaws, wants the best for the people around him!

This one? Oh, this one. This one's Loona. She's our Main Character's adopted daughter. Loona regularly physically assaults her father, wounding him both mentally and physically! She's a mean, bad tempered ball of attitude and rejection issues, who picks on Moxxie, antagonizes everyone else, and can't have even one drink because you 'won't like her' even after one. She drops the ball on her responsibilities most of the time, and when she does do her job she does it badly and with attitude. She's angry, antisocial, and aggressive, and she won't hesitate to get in anyone's face about anything. (She's also quite loyal, surprisingly kind, shy, and very sweet...but she wouldn't want you to know that. And we're not covering anything they wouldn't want you to know!!)

[jumpywhumpywriter]

The Wolfen Shapeshifter - Whumper's Collection of Supernatural Beasts part 1

Warnings: captive Whumpee (in the form of a wolf shapeshifter), blood, bullet wounds, near-death, muzzled, chains

This one's not my favorite story I've written, but it's still pretty entertaining, so I decided to post it anyway. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Caretaker met up with Whumper early in the morning for her next set of tasks. She had a unique set of skills: caring for literal monsters. That was the exact reason Whumper had hired her. He was a collector of unusual beasts and creatures thought to have gone extinct; he had a whole living collection of odd specimens, and it was Caretaker's job to make sure they all stayed alive. Feeding them, refilling water trays, cleaning cages, tending to sick beasts... Caretaker was in charge of it all.

She and Whumper worked closely together. Caretaker felt nothing for the captive creatures in his possession, after all they were just mindless beasts he put on display for entertainment. Occasionally he'd invite friends or fans over to get an exclusive and up-close encounter with the specimens in his private collection... for the right price, of course. His freak show was a huge source of revenue on top of bringing him a lot of attention and fame.

But today there was a different energy in the air. Caretaker came in to Whumper’s office like usual to receive her list of duties for the day, but Whumper looked a bit distressed, pacing when she arrived.

"Is everything all right, Sir?" She asked politely as she poked her head in.

Whumper jumped in surprise. "Ah, I was wondering when you'd arrive!"

"Right on time as always," Caretaker teased.

Whumper smiled broadly at that. "You always have been my top employee. So reliable. Today I have a particularly difficult and unruly beast for you to look after. A new addition to my collection." He brushed past her and gestured urgently for her to follow. And if Caretaker was reading his body language right, he seemed... excited? But not the typical excitement.

She trotted to keep up with his brisk pace as they headed down to the viewing area where all the animals were kept, which was where she usually worked. Whumper barged in, and Caretaker spotted five people already gathered at the far end of the hall. On either side, dozens of cells and cages and glass displays lined the walls, full of every kind of mutated creature imaginable. A cat with five legs, a deer with a single horn like a unicorn... and so much more.

Whumper usually liked to take his sweet time strolling past his collection, but today he breezed right past them all, heading straight for the group of strangers in professional gear. Two of them wore white clothes like doctors.

"I've brought the expert!" He announced when he approached, and every set of eyes swiveled to stare at Caretaker, making her self-conscious.

"She's your caretaker?!" One man sputtered in disbelief, but was silenced by a fierce glare from Whumper.

"She is. And you will treat her with respect," he snapped. "Now move aside."

The group parted and Whumper led Caretaker to the cell in back -- and what Caretaker saw stole her breath away.

There, she spotted a truly massive wolf, almost the size of a small horse, and would probably stand shoulder-high on her if she had to guess. It was by far the largest canine she'd ever seen.

It was curled up on the floor with a heavy duty muzzle and chains attached to metal cuffs on its legs and neck bolting it to the floor with limited space to move around.

"I'll pay you triple the usual rate if you can save its life," Whumper said hoarsely.

"Sorry, what?" Caretaker sputtered. That's when she noticed the blood on the floor of the glass cell holding the wolf.

"My hunters injured it pretty badly when they were trying to catch it," Whumper explained hastily. "It's a male. The animal put up a good fight, destroyed half of the group I sent to pursue it. I strictly told them not to kill it, but some idiot panicked and pulled out their gun and shot the beast." He scowled angrily.

"This is a one-of-a-kind discovery, it's too valuable to lose. Do you think you can fix it?" His voice had a hint of desperation in it. The wolf would be useless to him if it died.

"I-I'll see what I can do," Caretaker said.

Whumper unlocked the cage door for her, and she cautiously approached the deadly animal. Even restrained it felt unsafe to be so close.

Caretaker dropped to a knee and crouched down next to the wolf, and ran a hand through its soft black fur in wonder, marveling at it. She's never seen a monster like this one before. But she could see the pain and sadness in its golden eyes, both surprisingly human-like emotions. Then the wolf's eyes flicked to Whumper, and it let out a weak growl.

"What kind of creature is this?" Caretaker breathed in amazement.

"A wolfen shapeshifter, we think," Whumper answered. "But there's something wrong with it. It can't shift to a human form. All the more spectacular a sight for my display, though." He let out a delighted laugh, and Caretaker joined in, but there was something unsettling about the way the wolf stared at her, like it could see straight into her soul. There was an uncanny intelligence to its eyes she couldn't explain.

One of the doctors scuttled forward and set a big basket of medical supplies next to Caretaker, before quickly retreating to safety outside the cell.

"I'll leave you to your work," Whumper said with a pat on her back. "Good luck. I hope you can save this one..." He dismissed himself and left, along with the group that had been hovering at the doorway, leaving Caretaker alone with the monstrous animal.

Caretaker wasted no time rummaging through the medical kit, bringing out several rolls of white gauze and a suture kit. "Okay... let's see how bad it is..." she mumbled to herself, and reached out to the wolf.

The large animal tensed with a warning growl through the cage-like muzzle, baring its teeth slightly in fear. But it was too weak to be of any threat, and Caretaker knew it.

"Come now, don't be like that," she added with a smile. "I'm here to help." She often liked talking to the creatures under her care while she worked, even knowing they could never understand her. She reached over and located the source of the bleeding, a vicious gash ripped along its flank along with several bullet wounds slowly oozing blood with every heartbeat.

"Yikes, these are some bad ones, huh?" Looks like you had one intense battle..."

The wolf snorted and she could have sworn she saw it roll its eyes -- if that was even possible for a wolf to do.

She snapped on some latex gloves and the wolf flinched as she started to stitch up the long gash on its flank, letting out a high whine as she brought the needle to its skin again and again.

"I know it hurts... I'm almost finished..." Caretaker murmured soothingly as the wolf whined and twitched under her skilled hands, whimpering pitifully. She was a professional at her work, and in no time she had moved on from the deep laceration to the lesser bullet wounds, closing them up one at a time.

The floor was slick with blood, the same blood that streaked black fur, but finally Caretaker was finished, and gently wrapped gauze around the injured leg and bullet holes she'd stitched up.

The beast twitched at every small movement, growling and whimpering at regular intervals to express its displeasure.

Caretaker let out a soft sigh as she bandaged the last wound, leaning back to examine her work. She'd done it. The poor animal would live to see another day in captivity. Mission complete. Her gaze drifted to the side and she looked into the wolf's golden eyes, and the wolf stared right back at her with that same unusually perceptive look, like it was trying to read her emotions. She shuddered uneasily, picking up the care chart that had been left for her to review.

"Subject 32, eh?" She read aloud, raising an eyebrow. "That's not a very fitting name for such a magnificent creature. How about I call you... Eclipse? Because your fur is black, just like how day turns to night during an eclipse." She always enjoyed coming up with cute names and nicknames for each of the monsters under her care.

The wolf let out a tired breath of hot air, closing its eyes.

"Eclipse it is!" Caretaker chuckled, and began cleaning up the mess of blood on the floor along with the remaining medical supplies.

Eclipse didn't even crack an eye to look at her again as she worked around his prone form, too injured and exhausted to care.

Caretaker quietly retreated from the cage once she was finished to leave him alone to rest. Tomorrow would certainly be an interesting day.

Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @i-don't-know-sal

[soapyghostie]

Hi! i love reading you little stories about danny ‘jed olsen’ johnson!! I was hoping you could make a post about how he would look, like: many body scars, soft muscular body, or strong and tougher kind of body. Hope you understood what i was asking for, i tried to explain it the best i can! <3

You mean like general headcanons? I did a mixture of both his appearance and his personality if that’s okay. There is a link of a visual of what I think Danny looks like at the very bottom. Hope you enjoy!

The Ghost Face/Danny Johnson

This man has many scars all over his body from his victims trying to defend themselves, but failed. Where he has scars the most is definitely his legs and chest where victims have landed sharp objects deep past his suit, into his skin. I guess his leather suit can’t protect him all the time. He has a giant scar running right through his left eyebrow. Him being the cocky bastard he is, he loves to show it off to his coworkers and make up an insane story for it. The crazy thing is that they actually believe him. 

His gaze can intimidate anyone. He has these stern yellow eyes that will make you shrink into your skin if he glares at you. However, when he gives someone puppy dog eyes, you can’t resist. There’s no way you can say no to those gorgeous yellow eyes. Additionally, I just wanted to say, his eyes make him look cat-like. 😂 

Danny has a very lean body. He has to be strong so he can overpower his victims. However, he isn’t bulky because he also has to be fast and carrying a ton of muscle will slow him down. He definitely works out a lot. I’d say he runs 7-8 miles and hits the gym at least two hours everyday because, let me tell you, he is definitely shredded. (I’m sorry. This headcanon is definitely the runner coming out of me.) 

Danny has short, but fluffy black hair. He makes sure to keep it silky soft so he can easily run his hands through it. Also, to wow the ladies; he knows women love a man with gorgeous, silky hair. Dingus. 

Dude, this man is literally so silent. He can judge which floorboards creak, which doors squeal when opened, what shadows keep him hidden from sight. It’s insane. Literally a god. 

I think we all have gotten a glimpse of how much of an asshole and narcissist he is. He’s extremely mischievous, confident, and thinks he’s the biggest lady-killer. Spoiler alert! He really isn’t no lady-killer: he can’t even get a lady for the life of him. His cheesy pick-up lines and flirting skills are full of crap. He better be glad he has his looks or he’d get himself slapped across the face. 

Danny is a fantastic photographer. He makes sure that any photo he takes is on point. He’s a perfectionist. If he takes a photo, no matter if it’s for work or snapping photos of victims, it has to be perfect or he scratches it out of his camera roll. 

He is a great writer as well. I don’t know why the Roseville Gazette would hire him if he wasn’t. 🤷‍♀️ Anyways, a fucking unit at punctuation. He uses semicolons way too much than he probably should, just like me, and he knows it too. Hey! If it looks good and sounds good then that is all that matters. He’s also a pretty fast typer and always proofreads his writing at least 4 times before turning it in for publishing. He tends to get all his work done before all his coworkers. 

He keeps a journal where he writes important information about his victims: where they live, their daily routines, and stuff like that. He also sketches out what each and every one of his victims looks like next to his notes. 

He’s pretty cold-hearted and has an obsession for fame and recognition. He wants everyone to know who he is and to fear him. He’s addicted to the fear frozen on his victims faces when he calls them and has dozens of pictures of his victims hidden in his nightstand drawer to use for his articles.

Even though he’s a phenomenal journalist, he doesn’t get paid that much so this man literally lives off of ramen. However, he loves himself a nice home cooked meal: anything that takes a long time to cook to be honest. He would cook if he wasn’t so bad at it. 

He loves himself a good bargain; he loves the power they hold over someone. The moment someone breaks their side of the deal, he can break his and they’re over and done with if you know what I mean. 👀

He loves drama. He’ll listen to all the tea and no one will know he’s listening in either. He’ll start spreading it around to all the other coworkers. Now everyone knows the business. That’s why you never whisper shit while Danny is around because he’ll get a hold of that gossip one way or another. 

Danny Johnson visual

Hey you guys! Just a quick note that I’ll get to your requests on Saturday. This was the easiest request in my inbox so I didn’t have to think about what I wanted to write as much as I have to with other requests. I’m just so exhausted from camp, but I wanted to post something new for you guys to read. I hope you enjoyed it.

[northlt03]

TSHOEH au

Sirius Black, one of the most famous actors of the 20th Century. A womanizer of sorts. The media loves him, his family? not so much.

Wherever he goes, tragedy and drama follow. He's smart, he's cunning, he's charming, he's manipulative. He goes after what he wants and he always gets it.

He's had seven wives, or at least that's how the story goes. Everytime, he's pictured with some different woman. He never really manages to stay with the same one for very long.

He's never been one for subtlety. Always loud and obnoxious and transparent.

At least that's what the media thought of him.

An old Hollywood legend, friends- with the likes of James Potter, Lily Evans, the directors Mary McDonald and of course his own brother he rescued from their abusive parents, Regulus Black.

They're like a galaxy by themselves. Always revolving around one another. All of them stars, but Sirius burns the brightest.

Near the end of his life, he hires his godson to write his memoir. And so Harry Potter, son of James Potter and Lily Evans, writes the story of Sirius Black, his seven wives, James Potter and his "marriage" to Lily Evans and the peculiar case of Regulus Black.

The public goes crazy, naturally.

The book goes through Sirius' life. At first, how his parents were abusive, how Sirius learned the traits he mastered later to be a good liar, mostly as a survival tactic.

Harry has written about how eventually it got so bad, Sirius had to run away to his best friend's house. Fleamont and Euphemia Potter, both being in the film industry had no problem introducing James and Sirius as new talents. Nepotism gets you everywhere.

The book goes onto how Sirius starred in his first movie with James, something about two young boys during the World War. Sirius had finally found his calling. He loved it, the cameras, the attention, the articles. He absolutely loved it and he used his fame for everything.

After the release of his first movie, he gets a letter, just two words. Sirius, help. And so he does. Regulus was an adult by then, and yet unable to escape the grasp their parents had on him. So Sirius did what his baby brother asked. He helped.

The papers went crazy with that one. "FILM STAR SIRIUS BLACK KIDNAPS BROTHER FROM FAMILY HOUSE" It only makes Sirius laugh harder. Because the papers have always been wrong. There hasn't been a single thing in his life the Papers have been right about and if there was, it was because Sirius had laid all the answers in front of them, waiting for them to piece things together.

In any case, he continued his rise to fame. James' second movie was with an actress their age with flaming red hair and just as fierce a personality. James had been in love since the moment he laid his eyes on her.

Lily Evans had come from a poor background, with none of the connections Sirius and James had. And yet she'd proved herself multiple times.

They dated for a while in their early twenties, but it didn't seem to work out so they stayed friends.

Sirius' third movie, Regulus' first, was directed by a woman Sirius was first tongue tied around. Not in the romantic sense, Sirius had just never met a female director until then.

Mary McDonald was a force to be reckoned with. If Lily had been fierce, Mary was a whole different story.

As unprofessional as it was, they dated for a while. The papers had a field day with that as well. "MARY MCDONALD, DIRECTOR SLEEPS WITH ACTOR FOR CONNECTIONS"

Sirius never paid them much mind. He got what he wanted from Mary and so did she. When they eventually stopped dating because they figured out neither liked the other romantically, they continued to stay friends.

When Lily won her first well deserved award, they went out to celebrate. Just them. James drove, Sirius in the passenger seat, Regulus suffering in the backseat grumbling about how he'd rather be anywhere but there.

That's not to say the others weren't successful. James had girls wrapped around his finger, millions would literally throw themselves at him. And yet he never reciprocated, never went out with anyone after Lily.

He was a successful actor in his own right, films after films after films. He was a diverse actor, anything from biopics and romance to tragedy and comedy.

Regulus acted in plays mostly, though he did his own share of films. The public loved him, word on the street was- men mainly.

So they drove and drove to the middle of nowhere. Just Sirius, James, Regulus, Lily and Mary. Until they stopped at some shitty diner surrounded by nothingness as far as the eye could see.

That's where Sirius met Remus for the first time. Just a waiter, a snarky one that seemed to have no idea who they were and was downright rude to Sirius at times.

And still, they all came back. Again and again and again. When Mary won her first award for one of her films, when Regulus won awards for the musicals he starred in, when Regulus ditched theatre entirely and moved to music, when Sirius won his first golden globe- again and again and again. Somehow they always ended up in that diner.

Which is how Sirius found himself visiting the diner alone sometimes, just to get to talk to Remus in that small town where no one knew him. Which in turn is how he found himself in bed with Remus more times than just once.

So when Sirius won his first Oscar, he dedicated it to his Moony of course. And the public went wild as they had a reputation of. "ACTOR SIRIUS BLACK'S NEW SWEETHEART?"

It's not that Sirius hadn't dated before Remus. Hell, he'd even had a Vegas wedding with a fellow actress, a small wild fling with a famous singer and he'd lost track of all the women who wanted him. But this was different. As the times were, he knew the two of them would never be able to live as they wanted. Fame had given Sirius everything he wanted and yet it couldn't give him Remus.

They broke up, they made up, they got back together. Again and again and again.

Later, Sirius wondered why they wasted so much time.

Sirius caught James and Regulus in the bathrooms at the Grammys once. He'd groaned in disgust and made a huge deal out of it, teasing the two endlessly.

Regulus had been beetroot red even as he got on stage to collect his award. James had just hung his head in shame in the audience, only looking up during Regulus' speech where he thanked Sirius and "the sun" whatever that meant.

They were always in each other's orbit. Whether it was because James, Regulus, Lily and Mary wanted a child they decided to coparent, or simply because they were all just best of friends.

Remus didn't like the fame part much, but he tolerated it for Sirius' sake.

As always, rumors arose and so Sirius had to deal with them. He went in public, flirted with a few women, got into pr relationships and a few pr marriages over the following years.

His last marriage was to Mary, or rather his last legal marriage. Because in his heart, he'd been married to Remus as long as they'd been dating.

Fame trickled away, as it usually does. But they were immortalized for their works.

And now, after all of them had gone, Sirius would immortalize them for the right reasons. He wanted to tell the public their real story, not the one they had been acting in for decades.

And so Harry Potter wrote his book.

[theunvanquishedzims]

@batneko​ wrote a sugar daddy AU so I had to write one back.

-----------------------

Bowser's longtime flame has officially tied the knot, she's shooting off fireworks to celebrate, she's leaving the country on a world tour honeymoon, she's taken out an actual literal billboard on the road between their cities to showcase the wedding photos

So Bowser's like hey, I'm not stupid, I can see you're over it, you don't have to rub it in my face, but he can't even say that because she's blocked him on everything

And he was GOING to hire a skywriter to spell it out over the wedding, but the skywriting company said there was a conflict with the fireworks company and they couldn't get clearance, and Bowser is halfway through checking his own plane to see if he can rig something up when he realizes hey, this is kinda pathetic

They are both extremely over-the-top people and it's hard not to escalate when you're both filthy rich.

--------

So Peach and Mario are off on a year-long world tour honeymoon, and Mario privately offered to let Luigi tag along, so he's feeling pretty pathetic himself.

And Mario SAYS they'll still run the business together, but Luigi has seen Peach's schedule as...governor? President? Monarch? And it's pretty packed, and Mario already has his own dedicated bodyguard from her retinue, and Luigi is picking up a lot more clearly than his brother how things are gonna change

For the better! Mario's gonna love the parties and meeting people and playing sports with actual athletes and driving sports cars on closed professional tracks against real racers, and he can fix a sink but he's got the brains to fix a city's infrastructure too. He's gonna do great.

And Luigi...Luigi will be fine. Really! One-man plumbing business. He can do this. Except other businesses are already poaching their customers on the premise that Mario is retired and the Mario Brothers will be shutting down, and the only way Luigi can counter that is by cashing in on his brother's fame to get people's attention. Which, no thanks.

So he's just come out of the tropical storm of wedding prep and parties exhausted and ready to take a break, but he needs to scramble as the business dissolves under his feet, and their house is paid off and bills should be fine but it's such a gut punch to see how easily his life crumbles without his brother, and Luigi is TIRED. Luigi wants a BREAK. Luigi wants someone rich and fun and good-looking to swoop in and take HIM on a vacation.

"Maybe I should get a rich husband to take care of me," he mumbles into the newspaper draped over his face, covered in ads for rival businesses and Peach's honeymoon tour.

And you know...that's an idea. That's a real idea. He's already been on blind dates, there's always somebody who has a gay nephew or cousin or coworker who would LOVE a tall strong man like Luigi, they're sure~! So what if he picks out his own guy? And if they don't click, he can just shrug it off as them not being rich enough for him. That's believable, there's enough photos of him at the palace and Mushroom-Wimbledon and Mushroom-Kentucky Derby to say he's developed a taste for the good life.

In all honesty, he HAS developed a taste for the good life. Not high teas and little cucumber sandwiches, but being able to drop everything and go to an island, or play a round of golf, or picnic in the countryside, or play Indiana Jones in desert ruins while Peach is off hobnobbing with local rulers. He had fun. And it would be even more fun if he wasn't tagging along after his brother, if it was someone doing those things for HIM, because they liked him and wanted to impress him and--and spoil him, he makes himself acknowledge. He wants to be spoiled. He wants to be...a sugar baby.

------------------------

Cue montage! Luigi is a good looking fella, but he's also visually Green Mario, and the idea is to NOT leech off his brother's rep. The mustache goes. The overalls have already been retired. No more baseball cap keeping his thick wavy hair out of his face, no more sturdy waterproof work boots. He regrets getting rid of the mustache, and starts growing a five-o-clock shadow. Maybe he'll grow a beard, those are trendy.

------------------------

That's the picture that pops up in Bowser's inbox as he sorts through correspondence.

 He's pulling back and being really honest with himself about what he actually wants. And honestly? Peach isn't it. Not anymore. It was a painful revelation, but a necessary one. She's not the same hyper-giggly cheerleader type he met in university, and he's not the party boy rugby jock he was back then either. He doesn't need a hot blonde girl on his arm to impress his teammates and stop any ugly rumors in their tracks. He doesn't need to beat anybody up for saying he's gay. And honestly, it was freaking exhausting trying to keep up with Peach's schedule when he was a young adult with just classes and games to worry about, now that's he's mumble-something years old and has his own country to run, he couldn't imagine trying to do half of the things she has packed into her schedule.

So...good for her. She got that guy who loves being social and making a bajillion new friends without being rude to them and can probably stay in the background and let her shine without it chafing, either. Good for her. He is genuinely happy for her.

He has a hard time conveying that to the cowering housekeepers as he finishes smashing the last of her portraits into bits, but he doesn't pay them to understand him, just obey him, so he tells them to sweep it up and stomps back to his office.

He needs more people like that in his life, he thinks, if he's being honest. He needs someone who won't argue him in circles or make him feel stupid debating political policy or hint that his family are tyrants. His family gets stuff DONE, okay, no need to go through six layers of wishy-washy old toads and delicately manage public image in the process. Say it and it is so, and the people will see that their needs are met and be grateful. That's the Bowser way.

 Romantically, what does he need? He makes a little list.

1. Hot.

2. No arguing.

3. No criticizing or trying to change him.

4. No pink or girly.

5. Just...hot okay? A hot dude. There, he said it. A hot dude he can take on dates who won't try to fix him, who won't think there's anything WRONG with him that needs fixing, somebody who can just be hot and pretty and hang around making him look good without getting in his way or trying to take over.

Ugh. He needs a Mario, that's what he needs, somebody to quietly stand around and smile at him and feed him cake. But way hotter. Way, WAY hotter.

 He quits glaring at Peach's wedding ads long enough to type out a basic list of demands and send it to a matchmaking service. (It's a sugar baby service, but he'll be damned if he calls it that.) He's not doing ANY work for this relationship. He's rich, he's powerful, he's reasonably attractive, he thinks? Got a bit of a gut since college but he's still got muscle. Whatever, he's got a castle and a fleet of cool cars and enough money to spoil the hell out of TEN thirsty twinks, whoever he picks can keep their mouth shut about his beer belly. No, he's going full Lizzo, he's not considering anyone unless they LOVE his body. He's rich enough to afford that.

He's all set to send that pic to his potential matches, but then Luigi's pic pops into his inbox, and he panics and switches. He's not trying to scare matches off, that would be self-sabotaging. And he's a fun guy, not some bum who gets drunk and passes out on a deck chair, that was ONE TIME and he was recovering from sunburn, you didn't need to snap a picture of it, guys. Whatever. Fun in the sun dad bod pic, that should be enough to reel in a boyfriend.

---------------------------------

So. Bowser is a smart man, and the ruler of a kingdom. He does have bodyguards, and he designs most of his own security systems. The service will weed out the scammers, but he's investigating his matches himself, and Luigi is...not unknown to him. He's probably wildly unrecognizable to most people post-makeover, but Bowser was stalking Peach's wedding and has dossiers on everyone in the wedding party. He KNOWS what his ex-rival's brother looks like without a hat.

The only question is WHY. Is this a game? A joke? A sick trap? Why is he doing this?

"Why are you doing this?" is the first message he sends through the service.

And boy oh boy is that the question of the hour, Luigi thinks, staring at it. He has no idea who's he writing to, the...DADDIES are wealthy and important enough to warrant a bit of identity protection. He'll get a picture in advance of any meetings, but for now he's flying blind.

He's not gonna dump his whole life's story on a stranger, and he doesn't need to justify his decisions to anybody. He's not hurting for company, or money, so why is he doing this?

"I want to take a break and have fun with someone who can afford to take me nice places and do cool things" is what he decides on. It's true.

---------------------------------

The rest is just them going nice places and doing cool things together. No drama, no schemes, no misunderstandings or second-guessing about why they’re there. Bowser pays for everything, and gives Luigi some spending money besides. Luigi works hard to relax and be sexy and flirty and fun. It helps that Bowser is so comfy to cuddle with, and actually taller than him, which is impressive.

He is vaguely aware that he is dating Peach's ex, he figures that out around the third date or so, but the guy is remarkably chill compared to how she described him, (and in this world Peach's security detail handled any incidents, there was no kidnapping (recently,) and the Mario brothers weren't heroes who needed to curb-stomp anyone, so Luigi has never met Bowser directly.)

Bowser is keenly aware that he is dating Peach's brother-in-law, but he works hard to relax, not obsess over anything, and just be cool and fun to hang out with. It helps that Luigi is super hot, a little goofy when he relaxes, and enjoys draping himself over Bowser while they lounge on the beach, or on a train ride through the mountains, or a tour of wine country. Lots of hot guy draped all over him while people stare enviously.

It's definitely envy, nothing to do with how Bowser just chugged half a bottle of merlot. He needed to wash the taste of that horrible ros�� out of his mouth, okay? Who bottled that, a skunk? Horrible bouquet. Horrible. Luigi, buzzed and giggly and tucked up against Bowser's side staring at him adoringly, thinks Bowser is the funniest, wittiest guy in the world. They should definitely get out of there. The proprietors sell them a case of the merlot and gently suggest that the gentlemen switch to cheese tasting now, so they do.

Bowser's driver takes them on a long ride up the coast, and they have dinner at a beach chateau at sunset and listen to the cresting waves as the stars come out, and Luigi thinks this is exactly what he needed.

And Bowser just spent a long weekend out of his workshop and not buried in paperwork, and he's got some nice wine and stories to charm some diplomat who's visiting next week, and hey maybe Luigi can handle the charming and let Bowser do the diplomacy, or maybe he'll just sit at the dinner table eating fancy food and looking pretty while Bowser takes care of everything.

Man, it's good to be the king. Especially when you've got a doll like this by your side, cheering you on, waiting to see what you’ll do next. He needed this, this ego stroking and taking care of someone, showing off for them. Not running after a pink velvet track suit who's got a million clubs and committees and parties to coordinate. And wow, he hasn't thought about her in a while. A few days, at least. And he doesn't want to think of her now, under the stars, with a fuzzy face nuzzling his neck and strong hands slowly petting down his chest hair and over his belly. He's good. He’s good.

[woltourney]

ROUND 3 / SIDE B / POLL 3

Stelak Ganzthuv (@drtanner) v. Lopu Rhaavuna (@mages-ballad)

Stelak Ganzthuv:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Stelak Ganzthuv (he/him)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Roegadyn

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Gunbreaker, Bard

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Crystal/Malboro! Come say hi!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Stelak is an amnesiac and can't remember anything about who he was before he arrived in Gridania. He woke up in the back that cart with nothing but a name, the clothes on his back and a robust set of instincts and principles, and while he has no memory of his life before then - if, indeed, he existed at all - he knows he's a whore. That's his literal job, he's a sex worker, he knows how to do that and he's very good at it. He's also picked up playing music suspiciously quickly, so there's a decent chance he might have been a bard previously, too. To Stelak's knowledge, Hydaelyn pretty much just plucked him out of the aether, or from wherever, to be Her hero, and Stelak is a little reluctant in his role but he's keenly aware that he has little choice in the matter; everything will go to shit in a big hurry if he doesn't step up when people need him to step up, and as much as he'd rather be doing other things and really doesn't enjoy the recognition or fame he gets for being the WoL, there's precious little to be done about it. He's doing his best, lmao.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "I'm gonna be honest with you, darlin'. I don't mind, I'm just here for a laugh." Stelak pauses, glancing away for a moment, considering. "… Sayin' that, though. Please. I'm very tired." His brow knots as he gives a weary smile. "It would be very nice to get a little appreciation for once."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. Stelak is available for hire. Just sayin'. 💜

Lopu Rhaavuna:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Lopu Rhaavuna, she/her

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Keeper of the Moon Miqo'te

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. IC-ly her primary jobs are Bard and Dancer. Secondary to that, Sage and Reaper. (Note from submitter: CUL and BOT)

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Mateus [Crystal]

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I took inspiration for Lopu's character and story from the mahou shoujo genre, with the core elements being that a seemingly-average girl discovers she actually has the capability for magical powers, and uses those to help spread hope and save others. Love is a major theme for Lopu, and its what gives her the strength and motivation to do what she does. Lopu grew up in Gridania, where she left and became the Warrior of Light at age 25. She's always had a deep feeling of wanderlust within her, and the events of the MSQ are what kickstart her into being able to get out and see the world. She's lived her life knowing there had to eventually be more out there for her, and her assumptions are proven right as she takes up the title of the WoL and makes herself known. She's no doubt had her ups and downs, but never once has she regret her journey. Others may call her a hero; but even after all this time she still considers herself just an adventurer that likes to help people. In her free time, Lopu has a few hobbies she likes to indulge in! She's very big on cooking and sharing the food she makes, gardening and growing her own ingredients, hunting, training, running Treasure Maps, and of course hanging out with the Scions. Outside of saving the universe, she's a very sweet and humble woman.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Ah? Um…" Lopu takes a lock of her thick hair to twirl around and play with while she ponders the question. "I think I should win because… It would make me really happy if I did?" She laughs a little, giving a flash of fangs. "Truthfully, I can't really think of a good reason! I guess there is the fact I saved the universe, but I wouldn't want people to feel obliged to put me on a pedestal just for that." "Maybe… If I win, I'll bake a huge celebratory cake to share with everyone! That works, right? People tend to be more motivated to vote if there's food involved, yes?"

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. AS HER CREATOR I SAY VOTE FOR LOPU BECAUSE SHE IS SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE AND SILLYGIRL-CORE AND HAS THICK THIGHS AND I LIKE HER A LOT AND ALSO IF SHE WINS I WILL ACTUALLY DO A GPOSE OF HER AND THE CAKE AND EVERYONE CAN HAVE SOME!!!!! VOTE FOR LOPU #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP #LOPUSWEEP

[forbidden-sin-bin]

Welcome To:

Forbidden-Sin-Bin’s Masterlist of… Masterlists

Here you will find links to ALL of my works. Take a look if you’d like and enjoy reading! As of right now… it’s literally just Eminem lmao

(Anything underlined are direct links to my works!)

(NSFW fics will be labelled as such)

Last updated: 03/03/23

Marshall Bruce Mathers III, AKA. Eminem

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-Series-

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By Your Side

Rating: M and E for Mature and Explicit

Warnings: Mental health, trauma, violence, profanity, slurs, mentions and depictions of drug abuse, graphic depictions and mentions of abuse/toxicity, and eventual sexual content.

Notes/Keywords:  Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Idiots In Love, Idiots To Lovers, Coming Of Age, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationship, Eventual Smut, Reader Needs Therapy, Poor Life Choices, Friends First And Foremost, Fucking Comes Later, Eventual Healthy Relationships, Keyword: Eventually

Status: Ongoing

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-One Shots/Drabbles-

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*** - Smut

***Heat

Summary: Your love for each other is feral.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: SMUT. VERY FILTHY SMUT. Mentions and descriptions of a panic attack/dissociation and self-deprecating thoughts.

Keywords: Plot what plot/P*rn without plot, sexual content, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, DFAB!Reader, unprotected sex, established relationship, Oral (receiving and giving), DOGGYSTYLE, PRONEBONE, breeding kink, slight choking, insult flirting, Author is going to hell and it’s partially the Tumblr fam’s fault.

Status: Posted

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Shoutout

(Requested)

Summary: After being together for so long, somehow evading the world for years, Marshall decides to take the big reveal of your relationship into his own hands.

Rating: General

Warnings: None.

Keywords: Fluff, Rock n Roll hall of fame ceremony, established relationships, author blames the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame ceremony for this

Status: Pending

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Filter

(Requested)

Summary: After being hired to do a photoshoot for Eminem’s album, Recovery, the two of you seem to just click like a camera.

Rating: Mature

Warnings: None

Keywords: Photographer!Y/N, fluff, flirting, photoshoot, 2010!Marshall, hey Alexa play Filter by Jimin, sexual tension go brrrrrr-

Status: Pending

-

***Purr Kitten

(Requested)

Summary: He would get down on his knees for you; Anytime, anywhere. Because you would do the same. It’s about time he gives you the worshipping you deserve.

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Filthy smut (oral, female receiving) Thirsty fuckers beware

Keywords: Smut, oral, female receiving, established relationship, author is going to hell and it’s entirely the Tumblr fam’s fault

Status: Pending

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Bury Your Face

(Summary:) Marshall’s always been the one who’s taking care of others; always being the leader, the dominant figure. But what happens when you, his significant other, take care of him?

Rating: General

Warnings: Mentions of anxiety and outdated views on masculinity/femininity

Keywords: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, established relationship, EMOTIONAL DAMAGE, eventual fluff, remember kids: being emotional and empathetic does not make you weak or a target, anyways someone give this guy a hug, author is going to hell for being an overly empathic analyst

Status: Pending

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-Headcanons-

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Wearing the Glasses

Summary: Just some ideas on what life would be like with him when he wears the glasses, those damn glasses.

Rating: General

Warnings: Very slight mentions of sexual content

Notes/Keywords: Fluff, slice of life, headcanons, established relationships, author blames the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame ceremony for this

Status: Posted

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New Life

(Requested)

Summary: Hc’s on Marshall’s reaction to your pregnancy, all the way up till your baby’s birth.

Rating: Mature

Content Warnings: Pregnancy, pregnancy kinks (plus similar ones) and childbirth. Many, many implications of smut and sexual content. Rest assured there’s an equal amount of fluff that’ll disintegrate your jaw. Mentions of Postnatal Depression.

Notes/Keywords: Fluff, suggestive, headcanons, slice of life, established relationships, slight angst, jaw-necrotic fluff

Status: Pending

-

[zombie-the-derg]

writing villians is. hard. especially when they completely out shine the villain you've been building up to for an entire campaign and become your new favorite guy For context, I ran a campaign, name irrelevant, with technically 4 major villains. There was the BBEG, Mortiferum, a lich who threatened to return and cast the Infinite Undeath, a spell that'd basically cause all the dead ever to rise again and start killing people. And then there was the Mortiferum Trio. 3 lil goobers hired by Mortiferum to stop the party. They were comedy relief characters, mostly. They consisted of Sullivan, a artificer who was normally incompetent but he had magical hair which made him intelligent in short bursts. He died like 5 sessions after he first appeared beacause the party made him slap his face into gravel so hard he died (he was hit in the back of the head with an eldritch blast tbf) There was Shiro, who was a bronze Dragonborn Samurai. He had a quirk of never actually speaking, only signing to communicate. He was very honor-bound, and never directly snuck up on the party, choosing to always face them head on. His honor-bound nature and his respect for the party actually lead to him becoming a DMPC, and being the only character to survive after the end of the campaign. Then there was Sourcen S Sorcerer (real name Eric but he doesn't like to be called that). Sourcen, as the name suggests. Is a Sorcerer. And he became the most compelling, interesting villain I think that campaign had. Sourcen was a fellow who. Quite enjoyed his line of work. He never cared about money or fame when it came to what he did (and he did get fame because he would fucking obliterate common thugs with 4th level Scorching Rays on occasion and other shenagins of the sort), and only did it because he enjoyed it. I wrote him using one of my favorite tropes in mind which I like to call "Funny guys who are actually NOT fucking around". That was to say he was silly most of the time, but actually had greater ambitions and evil plans, and the skill to back it up. However, you know who didnt have that. You know who didnt get the chance to shine with great moments such as going "I bore of the ground" before casting flight? You know who didn't get to have witty banter with the party about how what he does is only just for fun? You know whos character DIDNT get explored AT ALL because I was too focused on the character who the party were far more enthralled in? The literal evil giga-powerful Lich who was planning to cause the fucking Zombie Apocalypse. As such, I began to write Sourcen into the ending of the entire campaign. I'll spare the details, but while I could have done better, it made for a decent ending fight... which undermined the villain I had built the entire campaign around. Moral of the story: if you determine your gonna make a villan already established in a campaign as a real, tangible threat for the party to take down... make sure they arent in fucking hiding and never come out to do villainous things. Beacacuse then you'll end up with a Sourcen. And while he's good. And great. And I love him dearly. Dear GOD can he outshine the rest of the villans in the campaign.

[mukuberry]

i just realized i kept writing it as 02 instead of 03 MY BAD OOPSIES

anyways akuji's 02, 03 is different

03 pre-milgram was part of a girl idol group. the girl group has many male fans and one in particular took way too much interest in 03

03 didn't mind the good or bad attention she got and the stalker (i'm just gonna call him K for now) eventually found the location to her apartment. instead of panicking, 03 decided to 'hire' the stalker to kill her critics in exchange for suggestive pictures of herself (like bikini pics). 03 doesn't really like sending the pictures but she figures that it's better than paying money. and besides, what's wrong with getting a little more fame?

anyways here's some fun facts about 03!

if she ever got a pet, she'd get a sphynx cat or a bichon frise

always has strawberry scented things on hand. strawberry perfume, strawberry lipgloss, strawberry bodywash, you name it! she thinks it makes her standout amongst her groupmates

loves the project diva games and kills at rhythm games in general. just don't mention project diva x around her.

closeted lesbian if i'm being honest. doesn't want to admit bc she thinks it'll ruin her idol career

doesn't get along with the wardens very much. REALLY doesn't like mamoru bc she thinks he's trying to take advantage of the female prisoners (even tho he's not)

loves putting makeup on herself and the other prisoners. asks for makeup every week probably

hell yeah radfem idol... she seems pretty unforgivable imo but thats okay women r allowed to do whatever they want forever <3 she's pretty dependent on attention from others, viewing her group mates as competition she needs to stand out against and being chill with a stalker,,, so maybe she'll like the wardens a lil more if she's forgiven? to watch her memories like they're watching one of her songs, and to forgive her no matter how bad she is, it'll really make em look like her fans lol

x

If strawberries are her theme as an idol, all these meanings seem to be a pretty good message to send your fans :) sincere feelings, being made happy by their support... she doesn't seem to rlly like her fans as people and more as a way to get what she wants, whether it be attention or literal murder of people who don't like her, but i guess they are still making her happy in that way. 'Temptation of all consuming love' seems pretty in line with her stalker becoming more and more obsessed with her and consumed by his love for her, slowly getting closer and closer to her..... and 'working towards/reaping the rewards of one's labour' would probably apply to both of them, with her using him to further her career and him working towards finding her home and practically being rewarded for it, getting more rewards for each 'job' he does for her.

In that sense, when u said monitoring could kinda be a cover song for her, i guess its alot more of his pov than hers... i like her :] idk much abt project diva games but i had a look online and it seems pretty controversial,, i havent had a proper look but it seems like they tried something new (idk what) and it didn't work out? If she 'kills' at rhythm games ill be sure to keep my mouth shut lmao