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presidentbungus · 3 years ago

Note

almost out of fic requests you say? well, I've been craving engiespy with a side of dadgineer/dadspy. perhaps with "birthday" as the prompt? i could try to give a more specific request if required but I like the way you expand on vague ideas

YEAAA BABEY needed an excuse to write engiespy

enjoy!

ao3

Spy walks into the workshop, as he does, and he enters quietly but Engineer seems to notice him immediately—turning around, straightening his hard hat, setting down a wrench he was likely fidgeting with before. The look on his face says ‘I want to talk to you’.

If Spy were the man he was three or four months ago, he would take his chance here to cloak and run and hope Dell wouldn’t ever bring up what he’s thinking about again. Unfortunately—no—of no particular concern to him, he has changed. He is better now. He’s still not particularly happy to plunk down on the slightly oily wooden stool next to Engineer, but he does. Because he can handle these things now.

The look on Dell’s face also says it’s going to be okay, so Spy takes a deep breath and reaches out his hand and Engineer grabs it. He squeezes three times. Spy squeezes three times back.

Engineer smiles. “Do you know what day it is tomorrow?”

Yes. How could he forget? “Scout’s, eh… birthday.”

“Uh-huh.” He pulls his goggles off of his eyes with a painful-sounding pop, and lets them rest around his neck. The corners of his eyes crinkle. “Now I’m not gonna judge you on how you answer this question, okay? I just wanna know.”

Spy can do it. Spy has done it. Spy squeezes Engineer’s hand a little harder.

“Have you, uh… planned anything? Got him a present, or… ordered a cake, maybe…”

He feels like his skin is glass—like he’s being looked straight through. He’s still not used to it, being read like this. He has to remind himself that Engineer will never use his weaknesses against him—he promised him that, and he doesn’t break promises. Spy’s jealous of that. “Yes,” he says, and Engineer’s smile fades a little. “I’m… I’m sorry. No, I haven’t. I don’t know why I lied—I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to—“

“Hey. Hey, it’s okay. You corrected yourself, that’s what matters.” Engineer’s smile makes him feel like he’s boiling, somehow in a good way. “If you’re okay with telling me, of course… I think you’ve been thinking about it a lot, haven’t you? Why haven’t you done anything?”

Spy looks at the ground, tapping his fingers on the side of the stool—god, why is this still so hard? “I’m…” He can do it. Engineer’s right here for him. “I’m worried… about it. I don’t know if I have a specific reason. If I do anything I’ll… be too close, and he might… push me away, and… you know. This is the first year… he knows. I don’t know how he’s going to react.”

Engineer squeezes his hand three times. He reciprocates. “I… hm.” He pauses to think. Always so careful with him. “I know your relationship’s… contentious. But I think everything you’re imagining’s a million times worse than anything that could actually happen. He’s Scout. He’s not that hard to please.”

“But you don’t…” Spy trails off, blowing air through his nose. He does understand, is the problem. He understands everything. “You… I just think he’s going to hate me no matter what I do. And I don’t know what to do about it, and I just… don’t want to bother trying. It’s a waste of energy.”

“It’s only as much a waste as you decide to say it is,” Engineer says. “Don’t you think you’re spending a mighty lotta time you could spend doing other stuff… worrying? You seem like you’ve thought about this a lot.”

Spy sets his face in his free hand. “I… maybe if I don’t try I can’t be surprised when he inevitably decides I’m not enough for him.”

“You say inevitably too much,” Engineer says, and they both laugh at this. “And it’s wrong, anyway. Because it ain’t inevitable. You ever considered maybe the reason why he don’t like you is ‘cause you never tried?”

Spy frowns. Leave it to Engineer to always say exactly the thing he doesn’t want him to say. “Well… yes. Of course I have. Extensively.”

“So…?”

“I don’t want to think about it.”

Engineer laughs at this, loud, and then puts a hand behind Spy’s ear, and Spy lets himself be lowered so that Dell can plant a kiss on his head. “Look,” he says—wrapping an arm around his shoulders, keeping their faces closer. “I can tell you’re getting tired, and I don’t think we’re gettin’ anywhere fast talking about it, so I won’t make you say anything else you don’t wanna. But I’m gonna let you take a little break and then we’re gonna work on planning a party, okay? And getting him a present and all that good stuff. And it’s gonna be fine and I’ll be with you every step of the way so you don’t have to worry.”

He has a way of phrasing terrible things that make them sound so simple. “Alright,” he says, after a long time. “As you wish. But give me another kiss.”

Dell obliges. On the lips this time.

Spy’s still reeling, but he says: “And if I’m right about this then I’m going to have many words to say to you.”

“Well, you won’t be, so don’t worry about it.”

Spy would make a comeback, but he doesn’t really have one. He doesn’t doubt Dell at all, actually. He’s usually right about these things.

—

So far, Spy’s been making a loop between the far corner of the cafeteria away from everywhere else, and the mini-buffet table he set independent of the primary one far away from everywhere else. So far Scout’s only locked eyes with him once. That was terrifying. He busies himself staring at the wall and down at the plate he’s carrying, on which rests an unhealthy amount of brownies. Dell said it was okay to indulge himself. He is indulging himself. It only makes the whole thing marginally better.

He would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little proud of himself. Even by his standards it’s a decent party, and he did work hard on it. It’s not that easy to get a giant novelty piñata shaped like Scout’s head made in under fourteen hours but if you make the right calls, threaten the right people, anything can happen. Dell’s been mostly leaving him to his devices like he said he would but Spy can keep feeling eyes on the back of his head and he knows they’re his. He’s waiting for something. What, necessarily, is unfathomable and he does not want to think about it, but the threat is there.

Spy takes another bite of a brownie. Abhorrent, ear-splitting pop music ricochets through the gymnasium like unruly frisbees. Someone taps on his shoulder and he swallows for a very long time, and then he turns around, and it’s Engineer—of course. It was only a matter of time.

“Hey,” he says. He grabs Spy’s hand and squeezes three times. Spy does the same. “How are you feeling?”

“Bad.“

“Better than awful,” Engineer says. “I gotta say you did good work. Scout’s having the time of his life.”

“… That’s good to hear,” Spy says, and it is. Relief crashes through his system like waves, though there is one little thing. “I assume there’s a reason you decided to pick now to talk to me?”

“You know me too well, Spook.” He laughs. “Look, I… I think you should talk to Scout. Don’t have to be long, or detailed, or nothin’. Just wish him a happy birthday, maybe slip it in that you planned the party for him. Huh? I think a little goes a long way.”

Spy sighs, and almost starts walking, and then stops. He pulls Dell in a little closer. “Can you… come with me?”

Engineer snorts. “If it’ll help. But I’m only gonna hold your hand, okay? I’ll only help you if you really need it and I will go out of my way to embarrass you and that is a threat.”

Spy nods, gravely. He’s not ready, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be. “I understand.”

Scout’s mingling, going from group-to-group and being congratulated and absolutely soaking it in. Dell’s right—he does look like he’s having the most fun he’s ever had.

He’s having some loud and undoubtedly incredibly annoying conversation with Demoman, though he seems to wrap it up once he notices Engineer standing behind him. Maybe once he notices Spy. He turns around, grins—then his eyes trail towards Spy, and his smile fades. The feeling tears his stomach in half but he tries not to think about it.

“Hi,” Scout says, and his eyes flicker back and forth between the two of them. “Did ya… want somethin’? I’m kinda… busy, if you couldn’t tell.”

“Scout,” Engineer says, in that gently scolding way he does, and he tugs him away from the crowd a little more.

Then, he looks up at Spy. The corners of his eyes crinkle. He waves his hand, as if to say: The floor is yours.

Spy squeezes his hand three times. He does it back.

“Eh… I just… wanted to come up and, eh… say… happy birthday, Scout.”

His eyebrows raise—he’s waiting for something. “Um, thanks.”

“I… know it’s… been rough. And I hope the next year is better for us. And, ehm…”

He looks down at Engineer, who gives him a thumbs-up for no apparent reason.

“And I’m sorry.” Scout’s eyebrows fall. “For… you know. And I don’t think I’ve… said that before. But I think I should now, so that you know.”

Scout says nothing.

“I would like things to be better between us. It’s… very hard, admittedly. To build the courage and fix things. I never tried for a long time because I was so worried that you wouldn’t forgive me. And I know it’s going to be a long time before you will, and… and I’m still accepting that. It’s hard. But I’m changing. I’m changing for Engineer—“ Dell puffs up his chest a little—“and for the team, and… for you. I can only hope that one day I will be worthy of your acceptance. So I’m sorry. I am.”

“Also he planned your party himself,” Engineer adds.

“Oh, he did?”

It’s incredibly relieving to have it off his chest—a little frustrating that Scout’s completely skated over it, but Spy can still tell something’s changed. What, he’s not sure, but… he doesn’t know if it matters.

“I did,” he says, quietly, and Scout smiles, smiles at him, and he feels as if something incredibly heavy has been lifted off of his shoulders. “I trust it is to your satisfaction?”

“Um, duh.” Scout punches him in the shoulder—as far as he can tell, a sign of endearment. “This shit rocks! Where the hell did you get a piñata of my face? Doesn’t matter! I’m beatin’ up my own face! It’s awesome!”

“… Yes,” Spy says, since he isn’t sure what else to say.

“Alright,” Engineer says, and he claps Spy on the back and smiles at him and Spy feels some tension in his chest release. “I think that’s all we needed to say. Good to hear you’re having fun, I don’t think he’s showing it but Spy’s really really happy about it—“

“Hey.”

“But anyway you can go have fun if you’re through with us, Scout. Seeya later.”

“Bye Engie,” Scout says, and then he turns around, and then he stops. “And, uh, bye Spy.” Then he runs off to do whatever he’s going to do.

“Wow,” Dell says, and he brings him in for a kiss and a hug. “D’ya hear that? He said bye to you.”

“Truly, my life is changed.”

“I’m sure it is. Really good job, by the way. That was good. You did good! Look how far you’ve gotten. I’m so proud of you.”

Spy scoffs, looking off to the side. “You are laying it on a little thick.”

“Well, it’s how I really feel.”

“Do you think Scout… got it? He seemed… unenthused.”

“Oh, he did. No worries there.”

“How do you know?”

Engineer stands on his tiptoes and presses another kiss to Spy’s cheek. “I just do.”

“Well…” Spy laughs and kisses him back. “Fair enough.”

—

“Hey, Spy?”

At some point Scout lets himself out, while Spy’s sitting in the courtyard for a smoke break. Engineer’s probably still in the gym. Spy tries to pretend he’s not as startled as he is, and he looks back, and Scout’s got his arms crossed, shivering.

“Hello, Scout,” Spy says. He’s not sure why his hands are shaking. “You don’t need to be out here. Go enjoy the party. I’ll be fine.”

“That’s, uh… I just wanted to talk to you a little.” Scout sits on the ground next to him, sucking air through his teeth. “If that’s… okay.”

It’s not really okay, but Spy feels like this would be a wrong thing to say. “What do you want?”

“I, uh… god, this is awkward. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“Did you… mean what you said? In the cafeteria? About bein’… sorry, and like, changing and shit?”

Spy inhales and exhales smoke. “Every word,” he mutters.

“… Good. Good to hear. I just, uh… wanted to make sure. Heh. God, it’s… freakin’ cold out here…”

Spy sniffles, bouncing his leg. “Is that all?”

“I… yeah. I think so.” Scout sniffles too. “I think you should, uh… come back inside. Get outta the cold. We’re gonna cut cake in a sec and they’re probably all, like, looking for us.”

“… I would imagine they are,” Spy says, dropping the butt on the ground and stamping it out, standing.

“And thanks for the party.” Scout grabs his arm, shakes it a little, lets it go. “It’s… cool. I’m glad you came.”

“I’m glad too.”

#thanks for the ask!#fic requests #bungus fics #engiespy #napoleon complex #spydad #tf2 #tf2 engineer #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #blu-s0da #I think this is the most words I’ve ever written in 1 sitting. 2300 let’s fucking go

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