#so like. he used she/her for me because. those r my pronouns? and the other person kept using they/them which. fine whatever it’s fine

[demiesworld]

Can you write this?

Modern day Hantengu Quad Squad. College AU. The brothers are all in different classes but all are thirsting over the same girl who’s in some of their classes. They each try flirting with her, and she thinks she’s being hit in by the same guy numerous times.

【♛ demie: i like this idea it's super cute. idk if you listen to rnb songs, but this reminded me of the song "same girl" by usher & r. kelly.】

𝐢'𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞?! [kny]

anime: demon slayer

characters: sekido, karaku, aizetsu, urogi, akaza (mentioned), douma (mentioned), kokushibou (mentioned), rengoku (mentioned), & muzan (mentioned)

contents: swearing, suggestive content, college!au, human!clones, afab!reader, reader uses she/her pronouns.

notes: the hantengu brothers are all 22 years of age. everyone mentioned in this is described as being human. yes i made the infinity castle as infinity academy bc why tf not? also i do not understand how japanese schools operate, formally, so i am trying my best to keep this as accurate as possible. peep the hints i throw in before each brother is revealed :)

click here for more quad squad series!

You are a new transfer student at the Infinity Academy and today was your very first day at your new school. You were a student at your current school's rival, Kimetsu Academy, however due to some unresolved complications with them, you had transferred over to Infinity Academy. So far you thought the new school was quite captivating especially with its students that attended it. You met the top three popular seniors of the academy, Kokushibou, Douma, and Akaza. They were assigned by the head of the school, Muzan Kibutsuji, to give you a tour of the buildings.

Kokushibou you could describe as an alluring young male. He had shoulder-length wispy black hair that changed into red at the tips. His piercing eyes were the similar to the color of your mother's favorite wine sangria. You in addition admired his beauty for his smooth ivory skin. In short, you thought of him as being virtually handsome.

Douma, on the other hand, possessed a captivating semblance that you couldn't discern. You didn't know if it was because of his physical looks or the charismatic pull he had. Either way, you were for the time being amazed with the young man. He towered above you, as did most men do, and would look at you with those what you would call prism irises. You were unable to call them a specific color since they appeared to shift from hazel to blue to green and you swore you saw them change into a shade of purple. His platinum colored hair was a standout too.

Akaza appeared to be a delinquent and bad news in your opinion, at least before you learned more about him. While he was shorter than Kokushibou and Douma, he made up for it in his muscular build. He had pale blue colored eyes that you initially thought were false contacts. The black denim vest he was wearing with ripped out sleeves exposed three thick black stripes on each forearm. Not only that he had vibrant fuschia-dyed hair complemented by matching color wispy eyelashes.

Your impression of Kokushibou was being quite reserved and reticent while he along with his upperclassmen showed you around. Though he did speak up when either of the two men gave you false or wrong information about things. He would also reprimand the two from bickering and causing a scene in front of you. In the midst of the tour, Kokushibou had to leave early due to a class he was required to attend as the teacher's assistant.

Then there was Douma who you thought of as suspicious with his outlandish stories that he was telling you. You didn't believe any of them. You perceived his personality as being apathetic, immature, yet positively gravitating due to his charm and approachable demeanor. Had it not been for his backhanded comment about your school attire you would have showed an interest in him.

Lastly was Akaza, or as Douma revealed to you Hakuji. He promptly told you to only call him Akaza whenever you'd see him. He was certainly the most tolerable out of the trio. Douma had told you that Akaza was a former student at Kimetsu Academy, like you, before he transferred to Infinity Academy during his second year. When you asked Akaza why he had switched schools so suddenly, after Akaza had fought with Douma over revealing it to you, he briefly stated it was because of his behavior. Which he didn't want to elaborate to you, and you didn't want to continue after that.

They were a pretty interesting trio.

As soon as your little tour with the three upperclassmen had ended, you were escorted by Akaza to your homeroom class. Douma left you two alone because he had "better and important" things to do. Which you two were thankful for, because Douma was exasperating. Akaza let you know that since you were a sophomore your classes would be held in a different building than theirs, and you wouldn't be seeing much of them after today. You told him you would be fine and watched him leave before walking into your homeroom.

You were greeted by an almost empty classroom, which you understood because you showed up just five minutes early before the bell even rang. There were a few students that sat in desks and were occupied with either their phones, doodling in notebooks, or talking in small groups. Plenty of empty chairs as well. You walked over to an empty desk, placing your backpack on the top of the desk.

The small group of students had stopped talking amongst each other to give you quick glances. You heard them being silent and gave them a side-eye glare, but didn't acknowledge their presence.

Just then a male student with shoulder-length wavy black hair and the finest of sun-kissed skin strolled through the threshold of the classroom. As he entered, he lifted a hand up to tap against the top frame of the door. He had his bag slung over his right shoulder, his arm unintentionally flexing his muscles because of the secure grip he had. A wide toothy beam was on his face as he went over to the teacher's desk and started to shuffle through the papers that were neatly aligned.

"Come on, I know you fucking graded my shit already teach'," the boy murmured to himself while continuing his aggressive search for whatever it was.

At that moment the homeroom teacher walked in holding a stack of papers in his hands. When he saw the male student at his desk, messing with his graded assignments, he sternly exclaims, "Hantengu!" The student flinches when he hears his surname being yelled and turned on his heel to face the teacher when he warns, "Get away from my desk, now."

The young male held a hand up in surrender and said, "Relax teach' I was just looking for my test from yesterday." He took a step away from the desk when the teacher was coming towards it.

"Your test isn't even on my desk, boy. I knew you would try to find it, so I hid it from you." The teacher took a seat at his chair and glared daggers at the guy. "You're gonna have to wait till fourth period, now go sit down."

After clicking his tongue then making a muttered comment about waiting till the end of the day, the male student turned his back to the teacher to go to his desk. Which was the same spot that he'd sit in during his fourth period class, and the spot you were now occupying. He stopped in his tracks when he saw his currently filled in seat. His eyes had a gleeful gander when he saw you there. He had to admit you were pretty damn cute in the black pleated skirt, black thigh-high socks, white low top sneakers, a nice snug cream collared shirt, and beige cardigan.

A sly smile came on his lips, "Well damn," he said aloud, the young male went over to sit in the empty desk behind you. When he walked past he made a flirtatious comment, "It's not even my birthday, but I got a nice piece of cake sittin' in my seat."

You turned around in the chair to face him with a pointed glare, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, sweet cheeks," He responds to you with a grin on his handsome face. "You must be new here then, because usually people don't sit in my seat."

Instead of antagonizing him about the nickname he just gave you, you crossed your legs and folded your arms to your chest. "And why don't people sit in your seat? I don't see a name on it."

He points up to the air vent that's directly above your head. "I get hot pretty quick, so I like to be 'neath the air vent right here." He puts his hands behind his head, reclining in the chair and facing up at the ceiling. "But you're fine sittin' right there, sweet cheeks, because after all," he lowers his head to look at you with a grin. "You're keepin' my seat warm 'nd I like the view."

You were flabbergasted by his attitude, but you couldn't hide the smile that was twitching on your face. You uncrossed your arms and leaned forward in the direction of this gleeful student. You ask, "What's your name Mr. Hantengu?" You use his surname as a way to tease him.

He rolled his eyes at you playfully and cracks into a smile when he hears your laughter. He likes it. "Don't call me that." He says, then adds, "My name is Urogi. What 'bout yours sweet cheeks?"

You tell him your name at the same time the bell rings the loud piercing dinging muffling your voice. Urogi was about to ask you to repeat yourself, but you turn around in your seat and face away from him. He pouts when he doesn't get to see your face anymore.

During the homeroom teacher going over the code of conduct, the academy's upcoming events, and other things that you weren't quite familiar with. You felt a tap on your shoulder and looked over it to see Urogi smiling at you.

You mouthed the word, "What?"

He murmurs, "I ain't bring a pencil with me today do you have one?"

What kind of student doesn't bring a pencil out of all things to school? Apparently Urogi does since he doesn't have one and is asking you for a spare. You were about to tell him "no" but he gave you a pleading stare. You fell for it and begin to dig through your own backpack for a spare pencil.

"I can't believe you just show up to school of all places without a pencil. Talk about being unprepared." You quip before handing him a pink mechanical pencil.

Urogi says as he grabbed the pencil, "Hey for your information, I do bring pencils to school," He then adds, "I just forgot to put my school stuff in my backpack this morning."

"Why were they not in there?" You wondered with a slight chuckle. You found Urogi to be quite the comical person, he was like a character in your opinion.

"I use my backpack as a gym bag." He said bluntly then presses down on the eraser to eject the lead. It was then he finally noticed that the pencil you had given him was pink. "What the- why the hell did you give me a pink pencil?"

"It was the only one I had in my bag," You lied. You actually had a pencil case with tons of other colors in your bag. You just thought of a masculine man like Urogi walking around with a pink pencil would be silly.

Urogi goes to argue with you about it, but you turn your back to him and ignore him during the rest of the class period. As soon as the class comes to an end, you are gathering your things and standing up from your seat. Urogi is doing the same as you.

"Well," you sigh, "I guess this is where we part ways, Mr. Hantengu." You sling your backpack over your shoulder mimicking Urogi's posture.

Urogi chastises you, "I told you not to call me that," He then rolls his eyes at how you're copying him. "You're such a little tease."

You cover a giggle with your hand then walk away from him. Urogi stood there for a moment just to watch you walk. Your hips rotating with every step you took. He knew that this school year with you would be fun. Especially since you were a new piece of eye candy. One that he hoped to snag a date with.

You read what class was next on your schedule and you let out a groan when you saw it was calculus. Of course it had to be that. You absolutely despised calculus since it was a difficult subject for you. The walk to your designated class room was dragged on because you weren't keen on attending it. But you had to, or else you'll be in trouble on your first day at this new academy.

You crossed through the threshold of the classroom's door and made a bee-line to an empty seat. The desks were aligned into three rows of five. In the upper right corner of the room beside the closed curtained window was a head of black wavy hair laying on top of a navy blue backpack. You opt to take a seat next to the person on their right.

From the corner of your eye you caught a glimpse of the person's face. You furrow your eyebrows confusedly when you saw that it was Urogi sitting there next to you. If you remember correctly, you did leave the homeroom class before him. Though when you went to get a good look at their face you saw that his features were a bit softer. He looked like he was sleeping peacefully too. His lips were slightly parted as light snores came from him. It didn't make sense to you because Urogi was definitely wide awake and talkative during homeroom class.

You then had a hunch he was doing this to annoy you. You did had the impression that Urogi was a playful individual. So without a second thought you took a hold of the backpack and snatched it from underneath his head. With a thud his head hit the table and he jolted up in his seat.

"I'm awake!" He yelped, and then looked at his surroundings. He looks to his left, and then to his right. He sees you holding his backpack in your grasp and surprisingly he asks you in a soft voice, "I-I didn't sleep during the whole class again did I? Oh... that's so embarrassing." he covers his face with his hands.

You snicker at his confusion, and you revealed, "You didn't sleep through the whole class. You still have like three minutes before the class begins." You return to him back his backpack.

He takes the backpack and slides it in between his legs underneath the desk. "Oh... well I guess that is nice to hear." He sighs, and griped, "I just wish the school day would be over already. The fact that my first period class is this is absolutely dreadful."

You snort, "You and me both buddy."

There was something odd about Urogi. He was lacking that cheerful strong tone and instead had a somber soft voice. You didn't point it out though. You just assumed that maybe calculus was as much as his least favorite subject as it was yours. Then again calculus class couldn't possibly change a whole person's attitude right? ...Or could it?

You ignore the now sorrowful Urogi and go to focus on your attention on the class beginning. The teacher saw that you were a new student and asked that you introduce yourself to the class. To which you did, you stated your name and the previous school you had came from. Some people raised eyebrows when they heard you say you originated from Kimetsu Academy. Their rival school.

In calculus class, the teacher had given each student including you, a worksheet with formulas to answer. Once the teacher told you all that this worksheet would be timed and based on how many correct answers you got you had all started on it. The teacher did mention that a classmate could help a classmate.

You saw "Urogi" reaching into his backpack and take out a wooden pencil. You narrow your eyes at him and sneer, "You're such a liar." He turned his head to you with a bewildered expression and you continued, "I gave you a pencil during homeroom when you had one this whole time!"

He had a frown on his face as he answered you, "You did not... give me a pencil."

You curled your lips at the male and turned your attention to the worksheet that you needed to complete. He stared at you still confused. As far as Aizetsu knew, he never met you and didn't see you in his homeroom class at all. He looks down at the worksheet he was given; the formulas on the page was intimidating to him. He winced when he saw the numbers on the page slowly shift and jump around. He brought a hand up to his hair, and started pulling at his locks.

You could hear some grunting come from the man beside you. You gave him a side-eye while he was reading the piece of paper almost fearfully. His teeth were clenched, eyebrows furrowed, and a frown was on his lips. He looked pitiful compared to the charismatic man he was earlier.

While you weren't entirely good at calculus, you did recognize the formulas shown to you and could do them. You figured that Urogi struggled worse than you. A part of you wanted to just ignore him and let him suffer, however that sympathetic conscious you had seemed to overpower.

You sighed reluctantly as you scoot your desk closer to him and slam a hand on his paper. "Which one are you having problems with?" You questioned. Aizetsu glanced at you and you looked down at his paper. You emphasized, "You didn't even fill the first one out?"

He flinches, "Please don't yell at me," he then adds in a soft murmur, "I already get yelled at enough from Sekido."

You don't catch what he says rather you help him with his worksheet while at the same time completing yours. You only assisted him with the problems that you were familiar with and left him with the rest of the questions.

"Thank you..." he says softly to you, "For helping me with this. I have a learning disorder and things like this are hard for me."

You want to just pull him in for a hug and tell him it would be okay. To give him comfort. For him to reveal to you of his learning disability, you thought it was peculiar since you don't know him very well. However you chose to again ignore it. You suck your teeth and dismissively wave a hand to him. "No need to thank me. I just didn't want to see you struggle by yourself."

Aizetsu was surprised by your honesty and your kindness. It was normal for most people to reject helping him with calculus. The teacher would offer help the best they could however they couldn't just do it all of the time. Thus that left Aizetsu struggling with answering the equations all on his own. It was people like you who made him think that maybe there are nice people out there. You were admirable.

He lets a smile grow on his face, "Well you are rather kind."

You brush away the butterflies that you get in your stomach. He was admittedly cute the way he was acting with you now. You scoot your chair away from his desk to give him room. Soon enough the class ended, putting an end to both of your disdain for it. The bell rang signifying the conclusion, and you start to gather your things.

"E-Excuse me... I was wondering if maybe you'd... well... would you be interested in tutoring me with this?"

You look over your shoulder to see him standing there looking hopefully at you. Your eyes look him up and down, and Aizetsu felt as though you were going to ridicule him. He shifts his feet nervously, anticipating for you to reject his request. You surprise him again when you tell him yes.

"You will?" He asks.

You nod your head and respond, "I will give you my phone number so we can set up a time and place where we can do it." You take out a strip of paper from your backpack and write down your phone number along with your name to give to him.

Aizetsu delicately takes the paper away from you with a shy yet appreciative smile on his face. He goes to speak, but you interject, "That doesn't give you the right to bombard me with messages. Do you understand?" You point a finger at him.

He shake his head and stammers, "I-I won't do that to you. I promise."

You just grunt then walk away from him. He watches as you exit the classroom as he stands there holding onto the piece of paper written with your phone number on it. This was new for him. He had never achieved in getting a girl's phone number by himself before. He'd had to rely on Urogi or his older brothers for that. Aizetsu neatly folded the paper into a square and safely put it into the zipper pocket of his backpack.

As you were in the hallways of the building you read which class was up next for you. General chemistry. Nice another class that you definitely struggled in. Chemistry to you was similar to math. It involved numbers, letters, and most importantly you were dealing with elements. You roll your eyes, following the map to the classroom. The room was located on the third floor, so you had to walk up three flights of stairs just to get there. That was just strange. Who would keep a chemistry class on the top floor of a building? Didn't they know a thing about fires?

You cross through the threshold of the door into your second period class. As you take a seat at a vacant desk you see that there is a backpack with a leaf keychain sitting beside you. You hear the sound of a man laughing, and look at where it's originating from. You see him again. What the fuck? Does he have like every class with you or something? He's apparently laughing at something a girl is saying to him and for some reason this irks you.

You won't admit that you're jealous that "Urogi" is showing another girl attention. You refuse to. Your pride is way too high. Plus you've decided that he is no longer worth your time.

He says good bye to the girl at the classroom door before going over to the seat that is next to yours. Just great. You managed to sit beside him out of all people, and now you couldn't move because the other seats were being filled up. Looks like you'll have to endure his presence during this class. Hopefully this will be your last time seeing him for the day.

Karaku shakes hands with his male classmates, and winks at the female students. He knew he was a total flirt, but he didn't actively pursue a woman. In his belief, the right one would fall right into his lap when the time is right. That's why when girls would come up to him with love letters and confessions he would have to turn them down. He was popular among the women. Even the female teachers had somewhat of an attraction to him.

He was an handsome young man. He had long wavy black hair, tan skin, and a body that people described as being sculpted by the Greek gods. Plus he was the tallest out of all of his brothers. He stood at a towering 6"2' packed with beefy muscles. His smile was what brought out his looks since he had canines. Just recently he had gotten a tongue piercing to amplify his charm.

The young tan male took a seat next to you, not paying you attention and went out to take out his notebook for Chemistry class. This agitated you and you sneered, "You should give me back my pencil and my phone number you damn jerk."

Karaku thought you were talking to someone else and didn't respond to you. Although when you say, "Hey you asshole, I'm talking to you." he looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes you can," you snapped, "I want my phone number and my pencil that I loaned you. If you're such a big hot shot around here then you don't need any part of my help with tutoring." You stuck out your open palm up hand expectantly.

He thought this was just a game to test him. He played along and leaned in close to your face, "What if I don't want to give it away? I think I earned the right to keep it."

You start to fume and you groan frustratedly into your backpack. He just chuckles at your reaction, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back in his chair. Karaku didn't know who you were, but there was something about your attitude that attracted him. You were feisty and he liked that. Most girls would throw themselves at him, but you didn't do that.

Albeit he was confused about why you were hassling him about a pencil and phone number. He never met you until now!

The chemistry teacher began teaching the class and showing you all how to add compounds. As you were listening to the lesson, Karaku nudged you with his elbow. He asks in a whisper, "You never told me your name stranger."

"You already know my name you idiot. We're in the same homeroom and first period!"

"No I don't. I don't even remember you."

Did this guy fall on his head or something? Was he dropped at birth? Also why in the hell did he keep changing clothes? Why was his voice changing was he going through puberty again?

For the second time, you guessed it was, that day you were flabbergasted. You knew that Urogi knew who you were, and he kept playing around with your mind like this. If you knew he was a pathological liar with apparently a short-term memory you would have avoided being interested in him. You wouldn't have loaned him your pencil and given him your phone number out of the kindness of your heart.

You snarl, "I want for you to remember this. If I ever see your face again, things for you are going to get nasty."

"Ooh~" He then remarks, "I never would have guessed a pretty thang like you would be into that." His eyes openly ogle at your figure. "Then again that skirt and those thigh-highs you're wearing tell me everything I need to know."

Your face heats up as you lean away from him. Following that you implore, "What do you mean by that?" your voice trembling just slightly.

Karaku has this sly toothy grin on his face. You could see the sharp teeth he had as well as the brief flicker of his tongue piercing. In a low smoky voice he answered, "Easy access."

Throughout the rest of the duration of class you focus your attention onto the lessons the teacher was showing you. You didn't say another word to the man that was sitting beside you. Even as he was unknowingly flicking out his tongue when he was fixated on writing notes into his book. You could smell his cologne and he smelled so good. He smelled like a roasted peach and honey. Your eyes glance at the prominent veins in his hands and arm. His fingers were long and nimble.

No you couldn't be finding him sexy. You were pissed at him!

Karaku takes a deep breath then releases it, his strong firm chest rising and falling in the fitted two tone henley shirt he wore. He slithers out his tongue and thoughtlessly wiggles it around. You were just so happened to be watching him, and he just so happened to see you from the corner of his eye. When your eyes met, you jolt and look away meanwhile he just smirked and scooted his chair closer to yours.

"Listen pretty girl, if you just want a chance with me all you have to do is ask. I will definitely make it worth your while." He places his hand on your knee, what a bold move on his part.

Though you don't buy into his act. Urogi can be a pathological liar with short-term memory loss and a damned flirtatious pervert all his life if he wanted to. You, on the other hand, was not going to be a victim to his charades.

You swat the hand that was on your knee with yours. You threatened him, "You touch me like that again, and I will suffocate you."

Karaku thought you set yourself up for what he had to say next because what you just said to him was an open door. For him to respond, "Suffocate me? Let's be honest babe, if you suffocate me with those thighs of yours, I think I'll die a happy man."

Abruptly, the teacher told you all to begin packing your things as the next bell was going to ring soon. You start to do just that. Anything to get away from Urogi and his advances. To refrain from seeing his handsome face and hearing his painfully deep sensual voice. You hop out of your chair at the same time the bell does go off. In a rush you dash out of the chemistry classroom and dart down the staircase to get to the second floor of the building. You were panting by the time you made it there. You reach into your bag to grab your schedule and your third class before your lunch break started was global history.

This was a class you could enjoy. As it talked about what you knew best which was in fact historical events from many countries. This would be your last class before your lunch break. You could do this. You read the map and luckily the classroom was located on the second floor. Great. You didn't have to be running a marathon up and down stairs.

You make your way to the classroom, you felt drained already and the day wasn't completely over yet. You begin to wonder if maybe Douma was as insufferable as Urogi. Sure, the senior student did make that backhanded comment earlier about your outfit. However, his personality was nothing in comparison to Urogi. Who, in fact, must have split personalities! Because how can someone go from being happy to sad to a flirty bastard? Also the nerve, the audacity he had to touch you on your knee like that during chemistry class! How rude.

Once again you remind yourself that this is just the third period before your lunch break. As you enter the classroom you greet the teacher that is sitting at the desk with a friendly nod and wave. You inform them that you were a new student to the school. They welcome you and ask if you were comfortable with introducing yourself when class begins. You agree to it, and then go to find yourself a seat. Unlike this time you take a seat in the center of the room rather than in a corner.

Like routine, the classroom fills up with students and you think to yourself that you won't be seeing Urogi again. You were wrong. After you had introduced yourself to the class, the teacher shortly announced there would be an assignment you all had to do in pairs. You watch as student after student found the other half to their assignment. Meanwhile you were left alone. Your eyes scan the classroom for anyone, and then you froze.

What the absolute fuck?

There he was again! He changed clothes again, and this time he didn't look to pleased to see you either. He had this scowl on his face when your eyes met his. Your mind was racing with thoughts as to why he could be so pissed off with you.

Was he angry that you rejected his advances? No, no one should look at a person as if they hated every fiber of their being like this. The way he was glaring at you seemed like he wanted to destroy you. Or was this another trick he wanted to play with you since you were after all the new student to this academy? You convince yourself that that must be it. Urogi was behaving like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, simply because you were just a new student. One minute he's a happy clam next he's a sheepish fool then he's a flirty perverted bastard, and now he was a bitter man. You come to the conclusion, that maybe it was tradition for new students to suffer pranks from him.

You weren't going to be sucker for his shenanigans.

You match the energy that "Urogi" was giving you now. Your face also changed from a look of fear to one of annoyance.

"Are you just going to stare at me all day?" He grumbled.

You shrug your shoulders walking over to the empty seat beside him and tossing your backpack onto the surface of the desk. "I don't know, Hantengu, are you going to keep following me around like a damn fly?"

Sekido didn't know how you knew of his surname, but then again he and his brothers were quite the popular guys at Infinity Academy. He suspected that you must be one of Urogi's or Karaku's little playthings. Though you had guts to call him out of his name as other students didn't do that to him. Let alone talk to him because of his callous and blunt personality.

"What the hell are you talking about woman?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't play dumb with me you jerk. First I give you a pencil when you already had one, then you keep my phone number, and you had the balls to feel on me during the last class we had together." You let out a scoff, "You're a real piece of work."

The male next to you grunted, "You're either on drugs or you lost your mind. I'm just going to assume you've lost your fucking mind, because who do you think you are talking to me like that?"

"Who do you think you are you psychopath!" You shout in a hushed tone.

Sekido growls, "I'm going to ignore you. This is just childish and pointless arguing with an imbecile like you. I'm better than that."

You now conclude that Douma was more tolerable than "Urogi" was.

The two of you sit in silence in the classroom, just working on the assignment that the teacher had given you. This was a stressful first day at a new school for you. You let out an exhausted sigh as you rub your temple, feeling a headache like no other swelling in your head. From the corner of his eye, Sekido noticed your pained expression and uncomfortable posture next to him. His eyes drift down to his backpack resting beside his feet and he remembers that he carries headache relievers whenever a migraine of his comes around. Even though you and him don't know each other, and most definitely got off on the wrong foot, Sekido's sympathetic heart couldn't bear to see you in discomfort.

You were startled when something was slammed down on the desk in front of you. A large veiny hand covering a small object before it moved away to reveal a white pill container. The brand on it was one you recognized as being used to relieve headaches. You turn your head to "Urogi" next to you, a look of shock on your face.

He curled his lips at you and folded his arms across his chest. "Take it or leave it." He grumbles.

You wanted to just sass him for speaking to you rudely, but then again you did have a headache and while he was being an asshole to you. He was generous enough to let you take a pill to get rid of your headache. So you did the smart choice of opening the pill bottle and poured two red tablets into your hand.

"Let me guess you don't even have anything to drink either?" Sekido asked you, and he grunts when you look at him with a sheepish smile. Coming to the rescue once more, he takes out a room-temperature bottle of water out of his backpack and not-so-delicately placed it on the table in front of you. "You're welcome." He said.

You took the pills along with the water and handed the pill container back to him. You were going to return the water bottle as well, but he immediately told you, "Are you dumb or something? I don't need that back! You keep it!"

"I didn't even touch it with my lips-"

"Doesn't matter. I gave it to you, so keep it." Sekido huffs.

You murmur a timid, "Okay," and take a sip of the water. Afterwards, Sekido seizes your worksheet and looks at it. You go to take it away from him, but he holds a hand out to your face pushing you away. His narrowed eyes reading over the questions you had completed. He growls as he squeezes the sheet of paper in his hand.

He hisses, "This... the answers you've written for these questions are wrong." He tosses the paper back in front of you and scoots his chair closer to yours. He points a finger at one of the odd numbered questions you answered. "It's 1918 when the Spanish flu devastated Japan, not 1819. And this, is not the correct emperor of Japan during the Taisho era. The emperor was Yoshihito Taisho. It's literally in the name, damn it."

As he was continuing to show you the correct answers, you sat there gawking at him and was admiring him. While you did have to admit "Urogi" was handsome, but with how close he was to you now you could see the small details he had on his face. Long thick eyelashes, pointed nose, bold eyebrows and a stronger chiseled jawline that flexed each moment he clenched his jaw. Not to forget he had gorgeous tan skin. You could smell a light hint of cinnamon emanating from him.

You were so lost in staring at him that you didn't see him stop lecturing you until he snapped his fingers in front of your face. "Huh?" you sounded.

Sekido frowns, "Did you not listen to a word I said? I corrected your work for you, woman."

Your eyes look down to the crumpled sheet of paper that was now covered in red corrective marks and then back to him. Shockingly, at least to Sekido, you kindly smile at him and say, "Thank you for your help."

He grunts, "I'm helping you out because I don't want to get a bad grade on this assignment."

"You know you don't have to make excuses and reasons to justify your actions. If you're doing a kind act out of the kindness of your heart, then an explanation isn't needed." You then add, "I guess I should say I'm sorry for acting mean towards you too today. I didn't mean to yell and insult you like that. I was irritated because you took away a pencil, my phone number, and flirted with me during our last few classes."

Sekido's eyebrows raised and he whispers, "Last few classes?"

You either ignore it or you don't hear it. Either way you continue, "So you can keep my phone number and my pencil if you really want it that badly. Though I think pink makes you look silly, Urogi." You giggle.

'Urogi?' He thinks.

The bell rings signifying the end of the third period class and your lunch break. You gather up your belongings and wave goodbye to "Urogi" before you exit the classroom. Sekido feels butterflies in his stomach as he watches you walk away. While you were in his eyes a hothead for arguing with him, he knew you had a soft side and now he believes that he has one too. He gathers his things and makes his way to the cafeteria.

On his way there he grouped up with his brothers in the hallway. Each of them looked to be in a good mood. Shockingly, Aizetsu was smiling as he walked with a perk in his steps. Sekido grunts as he lead the other three to the cafeteria.

"...You should have seen her Karaku, I think you really would have liked her. She had the prettiest sparkling eyes. Her body is a literal work of art. Like Leonardo Dicaprio made it himself." Urogi told his identical twin, his arms folded behind his head as they walked.

Aizetsu interjected, "I think you meant Leonardo Da Vinci, Urogi."

"Whatever 'Zetsu. Why do you look so happy anyways? You're usually in a more sour mood like Sekido." Urogi grins when he hears the eldest brother huff and sees distance himself from their group.

The blue-eyed quadruplet softly says, "Hm, well... I-I got a girl's p-phone number?"

"What?!" Karaku and Urogi both exclaim.

Karaku points a finger at Aizetsu, "You? You got a girl's phone number and without our help? How?!"

Urogi snickers, "I bet he probably paid to get her number."

"Y-You're wrong! She gave her number to me and I didn't even have to ask her."

Karaku awes, "No way..." he smirks proudly at his younger brother and folds his arms across his broad chest, "Well I'll be damned Aizetsu. Looks like you do have that dawg in you."

Urogi disagrees, "He don't have shit. I betya' he's lyin' and this is all in his scrambled head."

While the three of them bicker with each other, Sekido calmly piles food on his tray at the buffet bar. His brothers follow suit, but still carried on with their conversation.

"Was she in one of your classes Aizetsu?" asked Urogi while he took a bowl of beef curry onto his plate.

Aizetsu nods his head and hums, "Yes. She was in my first period class this morning. When she woke me up, she claimed that I stole her pencil during homeroom class, but I don't even remember seeing her in there." He places a scoop of rice on his tray.

Karaku implies with a grin, "You're always sleeping during your morning classes so I bet 10 out of 10 you were asleep."

"I only sleep during my first period class Karaku."

As the four of them were done getting their food, Urogi turned to Aizetsu and asked, "If she's right here in this cafeteria point her out."

The second youngest of the brothers looked out into the crowd of people in the cafeteria. Aizetsu's eyes searched for you in the midst of the room. His lengthy time it was taking to find you made his brothers suspicious of his claim.

"Aizetsu," Sekido growls, "If you think this is funny-"

"There! There she is! That's her!" Aizetsu shouted excitedly, and he pointed his finger in your direction.

The brothers all look to where he's pointing and yes. It was you. The girl from Urogi's homeroom class. The girl from Karaku's chemistry class. The girl from Sekido's global history class. It was you. A girl that gave their pathetic brother Aizetsu their number.

"Her?" Urogi exclaims.

"Her?" Karaku questions.

"Her." Aizetsu sighs.

None of the brothers, beside from Sekido, could have figured out what was going on. The eldest of the quadruplets knew. Now he understoof why you yelled at him during global history class. You were in Urogi's homeroom when you gave him a pencil, saw Aizetsu in your first period when you gave him your phone number, then met Karaku in second when he was flirting with you, and lastly you met him and you assumed Sekido was all three men combined. You most likely didn't come to the fact that they were all quadruplets. This all made sense to Sekido now, why you called him Urogi before you departed earlier.

This was going to be great because not only did his younger brothers have a crush on you, so did he! He just didn't want to admit it. Sekido scoffs and turns his head away from your direction. His brother, Aizetsu, carries his tray with him while he shuffles to your empty table. His three brothers following closely behind him.

Aizetsu greets you, "H-Hi Y/N."

You look up from scrolling on your phone and to Aizetsu standing there not noticing the other men behind him. "Oh it's you again... and you changed back to your first period's clothes."

He frowns at your words, "I've been wearing this all day."

That's when you say with a snide, "Uhh...no you have not? Each class we were in you would change your clothes and act like a totally different person."

That's when the other brothers emerged from behind Aizetsu and they were looking at you pointedly. You finally notice them and your heart pounds when you see that every "Urogi" from your classes was its own person. There's "Urogi" from homeroom, the "Urogi" from chemistry, and the "Urogi" from global history. You stand up from your seat and pointed a shaky finger at all four of them. You could feel your heart drop into your stomach.

"W-What... so there's four of you Urogi?"

The real Urogi shrugged his shoulders and wiggles his hand while saying, "Eh... yes and no. Yes because they are all my older brothers and we're quadruplets. No, because they're all nothin' compared to the original." He grins.

Karaku adds, "And our names are all not Urogi. I'm Karaku." He delicately takes a hold of your hand placing a gentle kiss on the top of it. A sly smile on his lips, "It's nice to meet you."

The blue-eyed sibling introduced himself, "I'm Aizetsu,"

Then Sekido grunted, "Sekido."

You break out into a nervous fit of laughter as you stood there with your hand still in Karaku's hold. You blurted, "Ahaha! You've got to be joking! I don't want to believe it, but it's right here in front of me. S-So you're all brothers?!"

Karaku chuckles, "You got that right babe!"

Suddenly you could feel yourself getting weak and your skin becoming clammy. Sekido sensed it first because he told Karaku, since he was still holding your hand, to catch you before you fell. You did. You fell right into Karaku's arms, unconscious after the reveal of Urogi just being a quadruplet. The brothers, mainly Aizetsu and Urogi, fret over what to do with you. Sekido ordered them all to go to the nurse's office with you being carried in Karaku's arms. Urogi was jealous that he got to do it and not him.

He was also irritated that he found out, while you were unconscious, all of his brothers had an interest in you. All of them, including Sekido, which was strange to Urogi because he thought Sekido was virtually unsociable. It just wasn't fair, it wasn't right. He had met you first, and he had first dibs on you. Had they ever heard of the bro code? Apparently not.

"Oh I feel terrible that she's like this because of us. Do you think she's ever going to wake up? Poor thing." Aizetsu was worried for your wellbeing as he stood the closest to the cot you laid in and stroking your hair.

Urogi clenches his fist at Aizetsu and snarls, "You get your hand off of her! Don't touch her like that! She's mine!"

As soon as he heard that, Karaku objected, "Sorry to burst your bubble Urogi and 'Zetsu, but she's mine." He then adds, "She would want to be with a real man, not with a little kid."

"We're the same age you idiot!" Urogi yells at him.

"Didn't Sekido mention that she said you were inappropriately touching on her during class?" Aizetsu recalls and then he continues, "I think she is deserving of someone who will be gentle with her rather than an inconsiderate pervert." He side-eyes his older brother.

"Why you-"

Sekido interrupts Karaku by hitting him with a backpack. Then he repeats the action to Urogi and Aizetsu. Aizetsu whines in protest since he didn't actually get hostile like the other two. Sekido growls at for them to shut up and pointed out that you were waking up on the bed. They all turned their attention to your figure, stirring on the bed and your eyelids fluttering. You opened your eyes to see the four of them surrounding you on the bed.

You let out a sigh and cover your eyes with your arm. You lament, "How long was I out?"

"Ten minutes." Sekido answered you.

"...So you're all quadruplets?" You changed the topic and go to sit up, but Aizetsu told you to just take it easy. Your eyes look at each one of them for the first time and see that they did had their differences. You see that Aizetsu had blue eyes, Karaku's eyes were like a green color, Urogi's eyes were hazel almost golden, and Sekido had a red undertone in his dark eyes. Urogi and Karaku looked the most similar so you assume they were identical twins.

Karaku responds to your question, "Yeah we're quadruplets, but me and Urogi here are identical twins. The rest of us are fraternal."

You nod your head then sit up on the bed again. You feel slightly better than before. "So..." You heard Urogi say, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Just as they were going to chastise him, you promptly replied with a happy smile, "Yes, I do have a boyfriend!"

"What?!" The quadruplets exclaim.

"He goes to Kimetsu Academy, though, he doesn't go to this school of course. I plan on seeing him after my day is over." You explain to them while getting out of the bed and grabbing your backpack. "You can keep my number, Aizetsu, if you ever need help with calculus."

The brothers are appalled to find out that you had a boyfriend. This whole time you were a taken woman. They watch you leave and then decide to go about their day. It was hurtful for them to have to respect your relationship despite being so enamored with you. It was also even more painful when they discovered that afternoon your boyfriend was none other than Kyojuro Rengoku.

What a pity.

notes: this is finally finished! omg this took me forever to do. i thought i was going to have to deny this request but i think it came out pretty good! and do you guys like the new layout for the hantengu quad squad series? lol made by yours truly. leave feedback and reblog please lovelies!

© 2023 demiesworld. pls do not plagarize or repost on other sites without permission.

[floralcyanide]

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐀 𝐕𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐧 • 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐫

Part Three

Roman Bridger x AFAB!Reader

The day Roman first laid eyes on you, he knew he had to have you. There was something about you that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, and usually, he was good at reading people off the bat. But you were a different story. Naturally, you only opened up when necessary, not letting people in if you didn’t have a reason to. So you were guarded, and Roman didn’t like that. He wanted to worm his way into your life, no matter what it took.

If that took delving into his twisted past again in order to get to you, so be it.

AFAB - (assigned female at birth) someone who is born female but can identify with she/her or other pronouns. reader pronouns are gender neutral, so people who use any pronouns can read, but female anatomy will be used and described in this fanfiction eventually.

warnings: brief descriptions of murder, nsfw, beginning signs of obsession and yandere behavior, perhaps an innuendo at the end who knowsss...

word count: 976

author's note: I am so sorry for the wait!! I got sick this past week with something?? and had to go to the hospital and all that jazz. fun times. I also wrote this instead of working on my finals because I make good decisions, obviously. I'm sorry it's short, but the next chapter will likely be long because things might happen... hmmm.... also enjoy a look inside Roman's head in this chapter. I might do more of that if you all like it!

series masterlist | masterlist | add yourself to the taglist here

this fic has been cross posted to ao3.

ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ, ʀᴇᴘʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴄʟᴀɪᴍ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴏɴ ᴛᴜᴍʙʟʀ, ᴀᴏ3, ᴡᴀᴛᴛᴘᴀᴅ, ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏ ᴡᴇʙsɪᴛᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ᴛᴏ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ɪɴ ᴀɪ ɢᴇɴᴇʀᴀᴛᴏʀs ᴏʀ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀʀᴛɪғɪᴄɪᴀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʟʟɪɢᴇɴᴄᴇ. ʏᴏᴜ ᴍᴀʏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴜsᴇ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ᴛᴏ sᴇʟʟ ғᴏʀ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛɪᴏɴ.

Pretending to be an adoring fan of Cotton and getting him to relax was all too easy. Getting him to panic, though? Even easier and twice as fun. Cotton and Roman’s brief yet daunting conversation over the phone gave Roman that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. Slaughtering Cotton and his little blonde girlfriend was bringing back that urge- that desire to kill that had been for so long shoved away. It had taken residence in the back of Roman’s mind for years now, only to bare its teeth again at the thought of anyone harming you. 

You, Roman thought as he plunged his knife into Cotton, you are so special. I hardly know anything about you, but I know you’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I did this for you, Y/N. You thought I wouldn’t hear that he spilled coffee on you? Burned you? Then got a little too close to you? Cotton is not a good guy, Y/N. He’s not a nice guy like me. I can take care of you and love you.

Roman somewhat cringes inwardly at how obsessive he is becoming over you. But he can’t help it. He’s got mommy issues, after all. He serves Cotton one final blow that sucks the light out of his eyes quickly. Roman sits on his knees momentarily, wiping the blade clean of blood before standing back up and hurriedly leaving the apartment. 

It’s dead silent in Roman’s condo as he lays in bed later that night, staring at the ceiling blankly. His hands are resting on his chest as he focuses on his breathing, trying his best to fall asleep. But it’s been two hours with no avail. Roman’s mind begins to wander to you like always. It’s only been a month of knowing you exist, but it’s been an excellent month for Roman. Other than him realizing that killing off Cotton could mean bad things for the movie. But at this point, he only cares about his own film because you’re in it, even as an extra. However, he’s asked John Milton about a dozen times already if you could have a role, and he’s said no every time. Roman won’t give up on you, even if he has to kill someone else. Maybe he’ll go for Jennifer or Angelina since they have good roles. You deserve those roles more than they do, in Roman’s opinion. 

Eventually, Roman falls asleep, and the following day rolls around all too soon. He clambers out of bed once he realizes he’s got about 20 minutes to become presentable and get to the studio. Roman runs a wet comb through his hair before hurriedly brushing his teeth, searching his closet for a button-up in your favorite color. He figured that out quite easily, as you often wear the color. After spitting out the toothpaste and pulling the shirt on, Roman examines himself quickly before bolting out of his condo. Traffic is, of course, hellish on the way to the studio, but Roman makes it a reasonable time. He’s about 10 minutes earlier than usual, surprisingly. 

When Roman reaches his office, he starts reviewing the current script and seeing how he could sneakily revise it to fit your style and acting methods. He’s picked up on some things about you so far, such as how intensely you can become someone else, even if they’re a background character. You express emotion in such a beautiful way, too. God, Roman could eat you alive. You were perfect in his eyes. And when you walk into his office during his revision session, he swears he’s still in bed dreaming.

“Hey, uh, Roman?” you scratch the back of your neck nervously, standing in the doorway.

“Yes, Y/N?” Roman asks with a smile.

“I was wondering if there were any updates to the script for the extras. I know you’ve been rewriting things quite a lot, so,” you pause, trying not to sound too bitchy about it, “Not that it’s a bad thing, I just want to be prepared.”

Roman chuckles with a casual nod, trying to seem collected, “Everything is still the same. But I’m still trying to put bugs in some ears about you. You have a real talent, even if you don’t see it.”

You brush some hair from your eyes, “Roman, I appreciate you trying, but I’m fine with just being an extra. It’s what I’ve been doing for years, and I don’t see that changing.”

Roman shakes his head, “You won’t know until you try.”

You stare into his eyes for a moment, and his gaze lingers. 

“You know what,” Roman says, not breaking eye contact, “How about we meet for coffee later, and you can look over the main script and see what you think? I’m revising it and need some feedback. Is that okay with you?”

You bite your lip, surprised Roman would ask to see you outside work. Your stomach erupts into nervous butterflies at the thought.

“Sure, I’d love to,” you nod, “See you at the parking lot after we wrap?”

“Of course,” Roman smiles, “See you then.”

You turn to leave Roman’s office, and he unashamedly watches your ass as you exit. God, he thinks, if I could only have you for one night to show you that you don’t need anyone but me. You’d be wrapped around my finger. Begging for me every chance you had. Roman has to shake his head in order to get the image of your ass bent over for him out of his imagination. He needed to focus on work again so he could have something to show you later. 

Roman wanted to show you more than the script, though. But he needed to figure out how to get under your skin. He thinks he knows just how to do it, too. 

taglist:

@bridgergf @crinimalmindsfan13 @oddlittleminx @axen-gers @alwayslilithnevreve @belovedtylerrr @bonbekahsfav @elliotss @jokersgrf @snazzynacho

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Non-Binary Vox headcannons because it's Pride Month and I am ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!

Like I've said before, in my headcannon Vox is AMAB non-binary and is okay with basically any pronouns/gendered terms

That being said he isn't really a fan of it/its just because(I am projecting this headcannon is entirely me projecting) he already has some w e i r d feelings about basically being an object, w/ the TV head and all, and finds them dehumanizing

It took them awhile to get comfortable with using femme-adjacent terms because, despite genuinely liking them, the toxic masculinity of a repressed queer person from the 50s could probably power an entire city block-(assuming homophobia still exists in the Hellaverse? I think I read somewhere that it doesn't but still)

Also the misogyny. I know very little about the 50s, but from what I DO know, misogyny was running fucking RAMPANT back then

That being said, the only person that Vox still doesn't allow to use femme-adjacent terms on them is Val, because Val is. Himself. And makes it really fucking weird-

This moth has MISOTHYNY /ref

"You can refer to me as a woman when you start BEHAVING YOURSELF >:("

Otherwise though Val is actually very supportive of Vox's identity because. It's Val. No way in HELL that man is any type of queerphobic hAVE YOU SEEN HIM!?!?!?!?

Part of why she chose the name Vox when she was establishing herself in Hell is because of the enate enby urge to name yourself some random, cool sounding word

Doesn't matter wether you've realized it or not, the desire will Always Be There

Velvette's the one that told Vox about the concept of non-binary after they went on a drunken rant about their Weird Gender Feelings while the two were hanging out

Also hopping on a hc trend I've seen a couple times- Vox's demon form is sexless, which is part of what really got him thinking about his gender in the first place

Like they had never really considered they could be anything but a man before, but the lack of any real defining masculine features besides their voice caused some really conflicting feelings-

Honestly I think Vox probably has a LOT of really conflicting feelings abt her demon form in general but that's kinda off topic

The reason they had never considered being anything but a man is because they had never actually had the words to describe the feeling of not being a man OR a woman before, and found it easier to just dismiss any thoughts along those lines as insecurities(something they already have a plethora of) & lean harder into their masculinity to cope

But then he died, and all the features he was using as a safety net got stripped away, forcing him to confront all the Weird Gender Feelings

Except not really because they just ended up pushing them down for several more decades lmfao

She generally prefers presenting more masculine because it's what he's the most used to + it's good for brand consistency, but she's DEFINITELY experimented with more femme presentation before

Vox's appearance is very dependant on how they want others to percieve them rather then what they actually want to wear at any given moment. Anything they leave the house wearing is specifically calculated to keep up their image, so that kind of experimenting is just limited to the comfort of their own home.

Aaaaaaaand that's all I got for now. This headcannon is very special to me(because I am projecting. This is, at it's core, me projecting. The only parts that aren't projecting are the bits that are reliant on the cultural context Vox comes from and them being AMAB-), so I'll probably talk about it again. Eventually. But for now these are the thoughts I've actually managed to put into words lmao

[weaselbeaselpants]

For those curious, I don't got dirt or shit on VivziePop. As I've made clear before I followed her back in 2009 and I talked to her like on devintart and tumblr 1 or 2 times. No, I don't remember what was said between us really or exactly. The tumblr blog I remember hearing back from her is long dead so I have no receipts.

I kinda lost interest in her because her fanbase was way too intense and mean in 2014 (no idea about any of the Dollcreep drama), and because I was also in a soft antisjw phase myself then and reading BadWebcomicsWiki - I saw her being talked about all throughout the forums on that hellsite up and until 2017. I also saw the completely different forum posts made there about Hazbin at the time- which os of course how I learned about the Dollcreep fiasco, frootrollup1, and Angel Dust r@pe art someone did of Viv.

If you interested and/or curious about any personal anecdotes I can remember from the best of memory -these are NOT facts, though I'm happy if anyone else can back them up if u also have memories of this- I can list those out:

-I found Viv through her fanart first and specifically her fanart of Shane Acker's 9. I loved Viv's fanart- it was always so distinct in her own style but still recognizable. Anyone else in the 9 fandom remember that "design a beast" contest deviantart had? Yeah she took place in that. She also did artwork of the stitchpunks inspired by Kinkei's chibi-pinup style. They were not as sexy as that would have you believe. She did fanart for Rango, Adventure Time, Regular Show, Rio, and Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. Also remember her begrudgingly liking Tangled after the fact because it wasn't 2D like Princess and the Frog was.

-The first time I saw Viv's characters in comic form it was in a comic where it was Halloween and the ZP gang (Zill, Kayla, Jack, Spam, and Vanex) were trick or treating and got stuck in some dark twisted version of their home. Isn't this the plot to the Invader Zim Halloween episode?

-Ickle!Viv was pretty skilled at drawing animals. Personally I think she still is but this was specifically the thing which stood out about her to me. I really love when she drew/draws animals. I also actually think her creatures look genuinely good, especially the dragon looking ones.

-Viv was ALWAYS so clamoring and adoring of her fandoms, especially animated stuff. Even on deviantart, animation fans are cynical and snarky so it was nice to see someone with their own established style be into movies that other people would mock you for as a teenager or god forbid an adult. Didn't make you feel so alone.

-I saw Viv's ZP gang develop in style from 2009-2013 and I gotta say I liked her og cast so much more when they were teenytiny and children. Zill just looked better then.

-Speaking of Zill, before I saw one of her posts getting mad at people who called Zill a "neopet"...I said her style reminded me of neopets. I was 12! I didn't know and also I hadn't gotten to that one doodle in her gallery at the time where Zill and 2009!Viv were cursing out this blob for calling him that.

-I also personally saw Alastor develop from out of those days, or at least the character who would become Alastor. It was the red black, buck-looking deer from 2006-2008ish who's disc Viv said was "the evilest character in all of zoophobia!!" I know she liked the directtovideo disney sequels and really liked Bambi II. I'm not convinced Alastor and Autumn don't exist souley because of Bambi II.

-I have no proof of it happening on my end because I ended up deleting a shit ton of crap on my old deviantart out of embarrassment and I think Viv deleted her posts about it. But a distinctly remember an artist in around 2011/2012 w I was really into art trades did a trade with me where they drew my 9 oc, in spite of us really not connecting in any particular way or being 'close'. They worked in traditional medium and had he/him pronouns and their art was so obviously inspired from Viv's. It wasn't traced, though- just very Viv-inspired.

I remember watching Viv and also that guy when suddenly Viv and Faustisee made a huge callout graph showing the artstyle and characters that had been stolen from her and she showed that guy's work. I also distinctly remember saying in Viv's journal abt the callout something along the lines of "this is bad, but, this guy is a friend of mine [rlly barely mutuals], he didn't mean it". To which Viv replied with something like: "then tell ur friend that what he's doing is bad >:c". So I did and that's when he told me he'd been told enough by her base how to feel and that he was leaving dA. And he left. and nuked his entire gallery, including his part of art trade, which made finding the proof of this encounter even harder to track down. Because he was no longer there, I deleted the piece I did for him as part of my mass embarrassment deletion.

-There was one other encounter I had personally' with Viv that I do remember and it's only because she was actually friendly to me and I liked that coming from my what was, at the time, a fav artist: I like the 2012 Frankenweenie remake and was really incensed back in the day that people weren't liking it because it is a ymmv-case. One of those people happened to be Viv and I def remember messaging her about how "I disagree with you, hmf" and then having INSTANT REGRET and suddenly spamming her with this way too personal "I'm sorry please don't hate me"-ventrant thing and, for all I know the Viv stans can be overly apologetic, I really do think it was my indiagnosed OCD/ADHD talking there. Anyway, what was sweet of her to do even in a passing way was she was all "it's okay. you didn't upset me but lol yeah ur not changing my take on frankenweenie either".

Viv describes herself as "being everyone's friend" and really- where there are a lot of points now that I don't think she cares if she is, most of the time I think the problem is she doesn't know how mean or backhanded she is. She really does strike me as the kind of person who never grew out of 2000s-2010s highschool and that petty thing were you get angry and lash out at others behind their backs but then sweet up after that, and where you think lovebombing = being genuinely appreciative. And yeah, that's still abusive and volatile. Because, and this is all from a decade ago and an antidote I only recall because it was Viv, but I truly didn't get the feeling that Viv thought I was beneath her or that she was trying to own me buy telling me she didn't like the movie I did. The vibe I got from her was "I don't really care about this but also I don't want you freaking out, calm down".

I rb a bunch of critical stuff (still don't like antiHazbin shit) because, and I still mean this, I do still genuinely like her style and wish I could be in her fandom w/o her stans basically gatekeeping me from being my own fan. I really am disappointed as the fan I am that Viv doesn't take better care of herself, her shows or the people working for her.

[mothellie]

I've gotten a few asks related to various aspects of my identity (specifically my pronouns) that I've made public on my blog. Some of them were coming from places of genuinely wanting to learn, while others were quite the opposite. I have ignored all of those asks, mostly to preserve my mental health as I go through a super stressful period in my life. But, in lieu of Pride Month, I kind of want to speak a bit about my experience with transness and queerness in general because it's something I've never really spoken about. This post will be very long, but extremely important for young queer people who may be experiencing Pride for the first time in their lives and being daunted by an unfortunately pretty divided community. I hope my experiences offer you a hopeful perspective on your future.

I first realized I was bisexual when I was 12 years old just before a youth group service at the church I used to go to. A guest had tagged along with a friend of theirs who was a regular member of our youth ministry, and he seemed like a pretty fun dude, so I ended up sticking to him throughout the night and talking to him about various things. At one point, he had mentioned being bisexual. I had no idea what that meant because at the time, queerness was a foreign concept to me. He explained that it was because he was attracted to men and women. I had asked him why he was, being a young Christian who was mostly in awe of that being an option, and he simply responded that he 'liked to keep his options open'. Obviously, he meant it mostly lightheartedly, but that interaction stuck with me for many years and I still think back on it sometimes fondly. (Wherever you are, dude, I hope you're well.)

That was when I had started to learn in private about different queer identities. At the time, I only knew of straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual. And then, also in private, I began thinking I might be bisexual myself. I realized I might've had a crush on this girl in my grade who was a cheerleader. She was the only popular girl who was nice to me, as I was extremely awkward and visibly neurodivergent/autistic, and often said offensive or crazy things due to what was being perpetuated and taught in my home with no filter. I had decided to try and invite her to my sleepover birthday party when I turned 13, but genuinely did not think she would show up. I just knew having her there would make my entire birthday better. At the time, I had a boyfriend who also went to the same church I did, but things were not going well with him and I felt more like something he settled for than actually liked.

But she did show up to my party. She even showed up before anyone else did (save for my best friend who had been there pretty much all afternoon helping me plan everything.) And to say I was shocked would be an understatement. She even bought me a present last minute, a little diary with it's own lock.

I realized pretty quickly as we hung out waiting for my other friends and my boyfriend to arrive that I definitely did have a crush on her. I felt the same way about her that I had when I had first started dating my boyfriend. I had even compared how I felt about her to how I felt about my best friend, and the differences were uncanny. My other friends and boyfriend arrived finally and we enjoyed a relatively nice day together. When it was time for the actual sleepover part of the celebration, my boyfriend and a couple of the girls who couldn't stay the night went home. It was only me, my best friend, the girl I liked, and another friend of mine. That friend ended up going to sleep early as well, so it was down to three. For the sake of this story, we'll call my best friend R and my crush E.

E was so sweet to me the whole night. When R went to go take a shower, E and I laid in bed talking about random things. I asked her about her life, if she had a boyfriend, what she liked to do. It was honestly one of the best nights of my life. And then it somehow got better because after R got back from her shower, E suggested we play party games. I had never played party games so she taught me a few of them, such as Truth or Dare. Eventually, we went through three different party games before we got bored, but none of us were tired yet. So E, of all people, suggested a new game.

Spin the bottle.

I swear it was taken straight out of a fanfiction. Not only was this girl who didn't really hang out with me willingly coming to my sleepover and bringing me a birthday gift and telling me about her life, she also didn't turn up her nose at the idea of kissing me. Openly suggested it, even.

To make a long story short, we did kiss. A few times. Playing spin the bottle with only three people meant there weren't really many options with who kissed who. But I knew kissing her felt different than kissing my friend. With my friend, they were light childish pecks followed by embarrassed giggling. With her, I was a nervous wreck, lingering a bit too long in her space and trying to make the moments last. So much more happened at that party, but I'm keeping a lot of that to myself. It was a really formative memory for me and sometimes things are better left unsaid. But I walked away from that party knowing two things: I liked girls, and I definitely liked one girl.

I wish I could say that ended with us dating, or that things went beyond that party in any capacity, but they didn't. We went back to being friendly acquaintances and nothing more. But honestly, that was okay. I knew I didn't really have a chance with her and the experience meant more than my daydreams. What I got to take away from it was self-discovery.

A few months later, The Last of Us: Left Behind came out. The Last of Us was and still is my favorite game series of all time, and I was eager to see more of Ellie Williams. At the time, I was still struggling with my identity. I had accepted that I was attracted to women given everything I had went through with E and the boy who helped me learn what bisexuality was, but I hadn't so much as thought of coming out because I was terrified. It was hard for me to comes to terms with it all even if I could acknowledge it was the truth because of my religious background and homelife. I had cut my hair very short when I was around 12 because it made me feel nice, which I couldn't put into words at the time why it did. Kids at school had openly called me slurs and mocked me for the appearance change, making me apprehensive to ever openly identify as any queer label.

But I watched my biological father play Left Behind and we finally got to The Moment. The kiss. Ellie's kiss with Riley. Another girl.

Words can't describe what it was like seeing my favorite character in the entire world kissing a girl and being okay with it. I was completely speechless, watching it play out more intensely than anything I ever had in my life. After the DLC was finished, I went back to my room and immediately googled different searches about the kiss and what it meant for Ellie as a character, and everyone unanimously labeled her as a lesbian given her canon disinterest in boys and canon romantic involvement with a girl. I had thought back on my relationship with my ex boyfriend, and how I never felt for him as strongly as I felt for E. So that sealed it for the next year or two of my life. I was now definitely and happily a lesbian.

But honestly it ending there would've been too easy, so my coming out journey wasn't over. My next relationship was with a boy in the 8th grade at the new school I transferred to. I realized that lesbian as a label no longer fit me, so I openly came out as bisexual to my friends. To my surprise, they all supported me wholeheartedly. I didn't have to deal with any of the backlash I experienced when I cut my hair. It was freeing and the label felt right. I ended up dating almost exclusively other boys in my grades through the rest of 8th grade and into 9th and 10th grade because I was too daunted at the idea of asking any girl at my school out. A few times, I changed my label to pansexual, but I always went back to bi.

I was in the 10th grade when a Junior had come out as a trans man. Everyone was talking about it so it was hard to avoid the news. Being in the bible belt, these things were considered news to high school kids. At the time, I had no idea what being trans was. I knew I had some level of discomfort with being feminine, but I never knew how to describe it, I always just thought I was a tomboy and 'wasn't like other girls' (young River you were so close to the point lol).

But him coming out really set something off in me. Yet again, I found myself googling what transgender meant, which lead to a slew of searches all with the general premise of 'how do I know if I'm trans'.

Suddenly, I started noticing exactly what I was uncomfortable with about being a girl. I didn't like my chest. I didn't like my face. I didn't like the language people used for me. It all started to fall into place in the most frightening way and I had no idea what to do about it. I saw how many teens at my school reacted to the coming out that just happened. I couldn't go through another public ridicule.

So I confided in my friend at the time who is gay, and he offered to bring me with him to a out of school GSA group he attended on occasion so I could meet other trans people and hear them speak on their experiences with gender. I jumped at the opportunity and went. Everyone there was so helpful, even the adults. They listened to my concerns and feelings, and offered me real solutions in order to figure out my preferences. One person suggested I make three bracelets to signify she/her, he/him and they/them. I could wear them on any given day and the people I've briefed before on what they meant could then refer to me as the correlated pronoun for the rest of the day to get a feel for what felt good and what didn't. I loved the idea and they helped me make the bracelets.

Remembering how well my friends had reacted to my original coming out as bisexual, I decided to come out to them again, telling them I was questioning my gender and explaining the bracelet code to them. I had expected them to react positively again and was genuinely excited to share the news.

However, when I told my friends, most of them reacted with annoyance. They told me that being trans didn't work that way, that it wasn't a game of dress-up, and some even suggested I only decided this to piggyback off of the attention of the recent public coming out at our school. I was heartbroken, and extremely embarrassed that I had even brought it up at all. That was when one of these peers pulled me aside later and offered sympathies to me, saying they had a YouTuber they liked that they thought I should check out. That he was a trans man himself and he posted a lot of content about the trans experience outlining what being trans was and wasn't. I jumped at the opportunity to yet again educate myself on something I seemed to be completely ill-informed on, and they sent me the link to his channel.

This was K-lvin G-rr-h.

For those of you who don't know who he is, good. For those that do, I'm sorry. I wish I had never clicked on his channel. Because the result was me pushing myself so far back in the closet that I went back to identifying as straight and abandoned queerness altogether. I hated myself for months thinking I had made a mockery of this dude who had never even met me and genuinely believed I did it for attention. I lived with the discomfort regarding my gender and sexuality for the next three years, putting myself back into church. I went three times a week on a regular basis to try and atone for everything I had done, even volunteering for the church in my spare time.

I had went into a long-term manic episode between the ages of 17 and 18, and ended up leaving the church. As soon as I turned 18, I downloaded Tinder and met up with several men in my area, having them pick me up directly from my house and sleeping with them in seedy locations with my phone on 5% to try and prove something to myself. I was attracted to men. I was wholly a woman. Being queer was a phase. I thought if I had enough 'straight sex' it would somehow make those aspects of myself disappear. Lo and behold, it didn't. It did so much harm and very little good.

So I was back to bi. I dedicated myself to healing and even hung up pride flags in my room now that I was an adult. I had tried to come out to my biological father several times over the years, but each time I was either dismissed or outright given the silent treatment for weeks before he would pretend nothing ever happened. Eventually, it culminated in us having a long talk. He still didn't seem supportive of the idea of me being queer for one reason or another (and I wont get into my relationship with him here as that's not something I want public on this blog but it was definitely extremely unhealthy and co-dependent), he told me he would still love me if I was gay. That I still had a place in his home, despite him feeling adverse to the idea. That was all I needed and I walked away from that conversation thinking that everything had been cleared up and he finally knew.

I was wrong. I came home from work on evening about a month after I graduated high school to him clutching my pride flags in his hand. He had found them in my room and tore them down while I was out (they had been up for months at that point so I genuinely thought he had noticed by then and just didn't care otherwise I wouldn't have hung them up at all). He said a lot of things I wont repeat here, but the key things he said were that I couldn't fly those 'faggy' colors under his roof, and that if I kept disrespecting him, I could get the fuck out.

For the first time ever, I was finally old enough to leave. I knew I needed to. That was the turning point, because I realized it would genuinely never get better if I didn't. So I left. I had been deadlocked at the door the entire argument and as soon as he told me to leave, I did a 180 and rushed out the door. I stayed at a neighbors house for a few days until I moved back in with my mom, who I hadn't seen in years. Her and my stepdad are extremely accepting people, and as soon as I told her I was essentially kicked out and needed a place to stay, she told me she would be there the very next day to pick me up and bring me home.

At her house, I finally started to heal like I had wanted to. I still wasn't acknowledging my transness and still held the belief that I was wrong about that aspect of myself, but things in my life were overall looking up. I had my mom back, and I had siblings, and I had a dad who loved me exactly as I was.

I then started going on dates from Tinder again, but it was more to find a partner than it was for sex this time. Eventually, I met my ex-girlfriend. I believe to this day I was still manic at the time and didn't properly give myself the space to process everything that had happened to me, so I ended up moving in with her 3 weeks into our relationship despite us not being very compatible people. Not only was that an extremely stupid decision, but it might've been the worst decision I've ever made. Because suddenly, we get the news to quarantine. The pandemic had started.

I had lost my job due to this, and half of my family due to my identity. I also lost two family members under tragic circumstances shortly before this happened. So mania crashed into the most severe depressive episode I've ever experienced in my life. I couldn't get out of bed. I didn't bathe for nearly a year. I didn't brush my teeth. All I had the energy to do was play video games and watch YouTube. My legs grew weak from disuse and I still sometimes shake when I stand. My mouth is a complete wreck from poor dental hygiene and I still struggle to remember to take care of myself since I went so long without the routine. I surrounded myself with filth and the apartment turned into a hazard. My relationship with my girlfriend at the time completely deteriorated. I had no idea what to do about my identity, I had no friends, and I missed my grandmother. I felt so truly alone.

Then my girlfriend came out to me as a trans woman.

I was shocked at the time, but extremely supportive. And I watched her explore herself in real time, dressing in feminine clothes and beaming when I called her feminine pet names. And finally, now that I was locked inside and had no one to perform to, I started to revisit my identity again.

I changed my name to Eden and went by she/they pronouns. Then they/them. Eventually I joined the Octopunk Media fandom after discovering their Detroit Evolution film and met some amazing friends there. When I had told them about my identity, this time I was met with support. I finally had a community that allowed me to experiment with my labels without fear of judgment.

I eventually changed my name to Ethan and my pronouns to he/they. Then my name became Gavin, and eventually my pronouns were he/him. I went through several gender labels during this time. Listing them all would make this post impossibly longer than it already is. But eventually I landed on just trans man, and gay.

I still believed that I couldn't be anything other than cisgender, a trans man or strictly non-binary until I was almost 20. It was around this time I joined a radically inclusive part of queer Tumblr, where people coined gender labels (among other things) that were unique and completely separated from Western ideals of gender and sexuality. And that was finally the turning point for me accepting that my labels could be as intricate and unique as I wanted them to be. That there was no one person making these rules. So I started to experiment with unique labels, mixing labels together that most would consider contradictory, overall just trying to find a way to appropriately described the way I felt. This time, the exploration was fun. I was surrounded by a community that cheered me on and celebrated the things that made me unique. It was also around this time I got really into queer history and learning about how the queer community had become so exclusionary over the years as opposed to what it used to be. A celebration of our differences. I realized that all that time I spent thinking I was a horrible person for my feelings, and how there had to be a 'right' way to be a queer, I could've been happy. I could've had fun with my identity and embraced what being queer was really about. I finally adopted neopronouns, which is where I discovered hy/hym. It was like he/him but spelled in a way that felt unique from being masculine in a binary way, which is something I desperately wanted. They/them has never resonated the way other pronouns had, and she/her feels very uncomfortable for me. These pronouns felt more like me than anything else ever had, and paired with my new labels, I finally felt like myself.

I wont get into my exact labels here. There's a reason I don't put them just anywhere. The people I want to know certain things do and everything else is no one's business but my own. I still do have a semi-active blog within the queer coining community on Tumblr as a completely separate account to this one. I will also never share the handle to that blog. What matters is I'm finally comfortable in my skin. My identity may not make sense to absolutely everyone. Some people may outright hate me for it, or claim that I make a mockery out of the community. I no longer care, though. My identity is mine and it's something that is so sacred to me now because I had to sacrifice so much of who I used to be to even make it here today. I'm proud to be a messy queer who doesn't fit into the boxes society tells me I should. I'm proud of having labels that might confuse the masses, or enrage the bigots, or even enrage killjoy queers in the community gatekeeping every single experience and label known to man over silly things. I'm happy with myself for the first time in so long and I refuse to ever let that go again or bend to anyone else's opinions. I found my faith in a different religion and practice where I feel like I belong, as opposed to an imposter infiltrating holy places.

So for this Pride Month, I need every single person who was willing to sit and read through this entire thing to know that being queer has never been, and never will be, about fitting into boxes or having a clean linear discovery journey. Labels are there to describe feelings you have, they aren't meant to be cliques that constantly argue who is and isn't valid under them. Sometimes you wont fit neatly into one label or another. Sometimes you feel comfortable with two labels people tell you cannot mix. Sometimes you don't wanna label yourself at all. And sometimes, your labels even change, or the feelings behind them do. Your identity can shift and you can discover new things about yourself in any stage of your life. It's okay to be contradictory. It's okay to be unlabeled. It's okay to have a whole hoard of labels. It's okay to use fun pronouns. It's okay to be queer.

Being queer is about stepping out of the binary in a lot of ways. It's a protest. It's a riot. None of those things can be true if we simply create a new, still restricting binary. I never want someone to experience what I did when I know I could've been so much happier so much earlier.

Ignore the in-fighting. Ignore the exclusionaries. Be yourself. I promise it's worth it in the end. Because one day you'll wake up and realize you spent your formative years worrying yourself sick late at night over other people's opinions of you that don't matter instead of staying true to you. I made it. You can, too. There's still time. You're not alone.

[autism-sprinkles]

okay i SUPPOSE i will make an introduction post.

hai ! ! i go by many names (namefluid), but my Main Names are selen, melinoë (meli for short, not mel unless i'm in a melinoë hades ii shift), and mlem. feel free to ask for what names I prefer currently!! :3 usually I prefer other names over these ones they're just like. backups so you have a name to refer to me with

i'm a minor ! ! (13-14 Years Of Age)

i am an otherkin (mainly fae but there r others), fictionkin, copinglink, and autolink haver, and i also have Many f/os

i am asexual, aroflux, queerplatonic, androflexible, poly (i have Six Whole Gay People I Love [i don't like the partner label >:(]) and a genderfuck (but I use the genderflux flag because it's prettier and my neos fluctuate. I just prefer the genderfuck label it's more Me) who also has tons of xenogenders, and I use all pronouns [he/him, it/its, she/her, they/them] and a shit ton of neopronouns (you'll have to. Ask for those)

i am diagnosed autistic!!! also probably adhd though and a Smattering of other things. i'm working on getting those diagnosed as well

i am pagan ! ! :) i use the looser term because hellenism is Too specific and not entirely fitting and i would consider myself an aphrodite devotee (although i do plan to worship other deities aside from her)

i pretty frequently use cat puns as a typing quirk of sorts ! ! the most common one is me using /paws instead of /pos but I also sometimes say fur instead of for and such :3

i have Way too many interests and fixations to list here!! I might make a Seperate Post for that. but currently my main fixations are hades 1 & 2, baldur's gate 3, twisted wonderland, genshin impact, vtubing, THE Floral arg, making stimboards, falsettos (2016 revival), epic: the musical, and newsies.

i am Technically a quotev migrant (url was .heartsiabyul), but i joined maybe a week or two before quotev fucked it all up, so I wouldn't say im Fully a quotev migrant.

i also am very very fond of music!! i can Not function without it at All. i have So many favorite bands/artists but my Main favorites are set it off, paramore, fall out boy, mitski, pierce the veil, beartooth, babymetal, and will wood.

my asks tag ! is #aeolus' asks

and my Personal Post tag is #melinoë.txt

blinkies dump

I probably have Forgotten some things but I can always Edit this Later.,

friend edit dump

[georgiaheartsdilfs]

that was staring from across the room | goodguyfitz x female reader

my masterlist ↪M A S T E R L I S T

warnings / other notes ↪I'mm aware he's a controversial influence. II couldn't care less whether you support him or not. I personally, enjoy his content and his humor. ↪ she/her pronouns used ↪swearing, drinking, drug use ↪ im aware mason has a gf (if you didnt know, he does) ↪ sexts / mention of sex

prompt ↪ the misfits were having their annual boozy party and you were invited. recently cameron (fitz) and you had gotten into a heated argument over a small thing, so there was a lot of tension in the air whenever you were near him.

A misfits party, it seemed like every other week that the misfits held a party where there were booze, weed and every other recreational drug you could think of.

But, it wasn't every day that they held a party as big as this one, a party for one of their friends. It was Chad's birthday today and of course, being his friend, I was invited.

Stepping into the Misfits house I am welcomed with an overwhelming smell of weed and the familiar sounds of people stuffing their nose with coke, I never did drugs of course. I lived a happy life without them actually.

"y/n!" mason slurred, already wasted off his face, wrapping his arms around my shoulders his breathe reeked of alcohol and ciggies but it was comforting because that was the mason I knew.

"hey macey" I laugh "god well don't you fucking look sexy you fucking dog." he says removing his arm to take a step back and look at my outfit, which was only a simple dress with flats, nothing too interesting for these aussies.

"thanks mason." I smile looking around, the house was crowded and packed "the boys are playing a game do you want to play or anything, its fucking truth or dare." he says pointing into a crowd of people "truth or dare?" I question him "chad the cunt wanted to play." he says "come come" he grabs my hand pulling me along.

Dragging me through the crowded corridors and packed rooms, finally making it to a room where it was just the Misfits and close friends.

Some of the Misfits were out like Matt, Swagger and Cameron.

But shortly after they returned with a fuck ton of alcohol which made the party from the house even more vibrant and loud even though the people in this room literally weren't even apart of that party.

"truth or dare." chad mumbles to me, rubbing his nose I look around. Cameron was staring at me with his judgy eyes, "dare" I grin to Cameron before looking back at chad.

You see days before this party, Cameron and I had gotten into an altercation where he called me some very debatable names resulting in his shit being burnt. He and I were never dating nor did we question what we were but I did have some sort of feelings for him, so thats why his name calling hurt me more than it should've.

"I dare you to kiss mason, on the lips. no side kiss bullshit." the room woo'd at the last part of the dare. I shrug, I wasn't drunk but I also wasn't going to back down from a dare especially when I cockily grinned at Cameron who I swore I'd do everything to make jealous.

Mason laughs "fuck it come here." he says and I get up and walk towards him as he cups my face and kisses me, roughly yet tenderly, the booze taste in every inch of his mouth. I'm not complaining, it was a way to get drunk without actually touching a bottle.

We pulled apart and I sat back down, crossing my legs and the room was now filled with laughters and multiple rounds of applause from everyone except one person, the one person that was staring from across the room.

The one with the blue eyes, who was sat directly across from me. Twirling a silver ring between his long pale fingers effortlessly, crossing my legs I stare directly at him, not moving a single bone in my body "truth or dare" I smirk, he nods. Understanding at what game I was playing.

"dare" was the first word I had heard come out of his mouth in a few days, thats how long it had been since I had heard from him.

But as those words left his mouth, the room fell quiet. Everyone feeling the tension between him and I "guys you pricks had to make it awkward..." toby says, "you heard me... dare." he says leaning forward not moving his eyes from mine.

"send a sext to the seventh person in your messages." I shrug, it wasn't some big dare that was suppose to get him going but I couldn't think of anything when he was staring at me like that. He pulls his phone out of his pocket not moving his eyes from mine "whats with the eyes McKay?".

"alright, guys, come on." Jay says "no, let them go at it." Mason says "if anything these cunts will be fucking by the end of the night." he continues placing a lit ciggie in his mouth.

Cameron scoffs typing a message "done y/l/n" he flips the phone with a smirk. My phone goes off and it was him.

i know you're mad at me, you're hot though and i'd fuck the shit out of you.

"who was it?" Everyone asks Cameron eagerly and I look up from my phone "I need to take this." I lie standing up and walking out of the room, heading straight to the bathroom.

Banging on the door to hear people having sex, I grunt kicking the door angrily before making my way downstairs to the alcohol. Sure there was alcohol upstairs but the message... the message.

I look at the alcohol, it was teasing me "here" a guy says handing me a bottle "thanks" i smile before walking off.

I didn't make it back to the room filled with Misfits, instead I down the bottle and make my way back. Only he had that kind of affect on me. The affect that makes me swoon even when I hate him, that affect that makes the purest of hearts go bad.

Time had passed and I was now 10... 11.... 20 something bottles in. The party hadn't died, infact it was more alive than ever and every single worry had disappeared... including my phone.

In a panic I run back to the place that gave me alcohol "what's the, phone." my words were slurred, of course they were I was drunk. "what?' the man had said "y/n?" a loud voice yelled from the stairs, I spin around and see Cameron.

"shit, shit." I say slowly realising and running out back hoping he wouldnt find me.

Not look where I was going, I run straight into the pool. Swimming back up I scream "FUCK" this night just turned terrible.

Cameron runs out and sees me in the pool, giving me his cocky stare once again. "get up" he says placing his hands on his hips, eventually lifting one up to rub his dome. He was fully sober, sure he had been drinking but he didnt drink enough to be even licked (partly drunk).

"no" I slur, pushing my hair out of my face. "y/n, get out." he says and I stare at him, narrowing my vision to him and only him "what are you going to call me a dish-washing prostitue again." my words continued to be slurred, but they were nothing but the truth.

Everyone outside stops, staring at him and I.

"y/n, i won't repeat myself get the fuck out." he say taking off his shoes and cap, getting in the pool before grabbing me and pulling me towards the edge "let go of me." I try shimmying out of his grip but he was strong. He lifts me up onto the ledge, using his arms as back support as he leaves them wrapped around me.

"i'm sorry." he admits and the party goes back to normal.

He was still standing in the pool "i can't hear you the music is loud." I mumble leaning foward "Im sorry" he says "as you fucking should be." I point to him and he nods.

"KISS" someone yells from above, "who the fuck" "mason" he cuts me off "and don't ever look at me like that again." I slur to him, my mind was on straight after hearing his apology. The words... not so much.

"what?" he says "you fucking staring you mud cunt." I say "I was just admiring you." he shrugs before letting go of me and lifting himself up.

"well, then stare at me like that again."

[sapphicnsh]

r u willing to give us some info abt the streamer au? You’ve mentioned it before but I’m just curious abt it tbh :D

oh I AM MORE THAN WILLING. PREPARE URSELF

so: what happens when you put the physical manifestation of ADHD into an apartment with 3 different flavors of autism, give her a successful twitch career, and blast all of them with Beam Of Insufferably Horny?

the streamer au LMFAO (putting this under a cut bc it got. INSANELY long omfg)

normally i dont rlly like human aus (they’re just not my thing) but this stupid au wormed it’s way into my heart and now i cherish it lmfao. there’s no real set plot, there’s just Situations these lil guys get into. some are soft and adorable (ie. pebbles’ first kiss with sig) or hilarious (sig’s ridiculous amount of flirting with his own chat) or just fuckin stupid (their halloween stream where they do a whole production where chat has to figure out who “killed” sig and it’s just chaos). tbh ive found myself accidentally focusing on the ragequit aspect of the au despite the entire polycule being a thing (lilypad, sunstone, traffic light, ragequit, and hurricane all happen)

i think the Main Things that sum up the au are:

Sig punched Pebbles’ transphobic (now ex) boyfriend in the face and spent a night in jail bc of it LMFAO

Pebbles and Suns meet after Sig drags Pebbles to a party at the college he attends (and Sig attended for a single semester before the whole streamer thing took off). Suns went to catholic school and is incredibly repressed and hesitant with Pebbles and Sig ends up having to instigate a lot of shit to prevent them from just fuckin. never going past hand holding.

Speaking of, Pebbs is an art major and drew all of Sig’s custom emotes. He also loves drawing everyone in the apartment, though usually keeps those drawings hidden from everyone in his sketchbooks

Wind and Sig being childhood best friends who are each others ride or die, they were each others first like, everything. The funniest one being where Wind is having a crisis bc he thinks he might be gay and Sig is just like “hm well I’m kinda a guy maybe kiss me and see if you like it?” And well. Wind has been kissing this fool for 7 years now and does not plan on stopping.

Moon is usually a moderator but does make appearances occasionally and chat loves her. Suns will not go on camera without a face mask. Pebbles was originally camerashy but ends up being in pretty much every stream after a while.

Sig refuses to tell chat his gender and thinks it’s funny watching everyone guess. If you ask/ask for pronouns he just replies with “whatever’s funniest” or “whatever makes this gay”, or if someone’s being rude about it, “whatever pisses you off most”

Sig is like. Insanely good at FPS games and holds multiple top rankings in competitive esports. Yui (Unparalleled Innocence) is one of her main rivals. It’s cute tho. They’re like. rivals who kiss.

Pebbles is Moon’s adopted brother, and has some pretty bad weakness in his hands/legs bc he had cancer as a child. They all support him a lot (Pebbles is rlly stubborn about “being okay”) and Sig does a lot of charity streams for things like forgiving medical debt and cancer research. Sig and Moon bought a huge thing of stickers to help decorate Pebbles’ crutches so he’d like them more.

Pebbles’ name is Pebbles because Moon came up with it as a nickname when they were kids, and when Pebbles came out he chose that as his name. Moon cried about it. Also I just like the whole “transmasc w a silly name” thing bc I feel like it fits him.

Sig helps Pebbles dye his hair (emo mf) but requires that if he helps she gets to put streaks of color in his bangs. It’s usually pink but sometimes she chooses a different color. Sig has the underside of his hair dyed purple. Pebbles’ natural hair color is a pretty light brown.

They all have their cats ofc!! Messenger, Hunter, Arti, and Ruffles!! They were all either strays they found or adopted from a shelter.

That’s all I can think of rn! I wanna draw their designs eventually (and I have but I don’t rlly like them anymore bc OUGHHH I haven’t drawn people in for-goddamn-ever) but yeah!! Damn this got long LMFAO

[oc-aita]

AITA for destroying someone's physical form and accidentally creating a time loop?

My family says I'm not, but I still feel guilty, so I thought I would ask for an unbiased opinion.

For some background, I (20s?, xe/xim) don't have any memories prior to being woken up in a nearly empty city on fire by a girl named B (7, she/her). She lived there but didn't know what was going on either and as I had no other leads, I decided to try starting my life over on the other side of the country. The only relevant information about that time is I met R (22, she/they) and H (24, he/him), R ended up fostering B, and I started dating R and H in a triad. Everything was quiet and going well until C (???, no pronouns) appeared.

I was the only one who could see C, and it turns out this is because C has no physical body and needed to possess someone to use C's powers. That person ended up being me, and those powers ended up wiping out the entire world by making a comet crashing into us. I know I'm not the asshole for that since I couldn't control my body but I think it's relevant. Afterwards, I woke up back in the abandoned, burning city, B standing over me with no idea of who I was, and C yelling at me, saying that this was my fault and I had trapped us in a time loop.

I didn't believe C about it being my fault since C refused to explain anything whenever I asked and had tried killing everyone, but I began trying out new actions to ensure I, R, H, and B could end up back together as a family like the first time without C getting in the way. Unfortunately, C kept interfering and finding new ways to sabotage my efforts. While I discovered a few loops ago that I have the ability to create new objects, I can barely do anything with it except make some spare change when we're out in the register. I don't even know how many times everything's been reset now. The events blur together, and R, H, and B's personalities and actions started changing in ways that indicate they've started remembering the loops.

I kept telling C to stop resetting everything because my family is becoming aware of the time loop and I couldn't hide it forever, but C kept repeating that I had created the time loop. I half heartedly asked what the fuck C meant, not expecting an actual answer since C never answered, but C finally admitted that C had destroyed the world before I lost my memories, and that I had recreated it afterwards with those powers of creation I mentioned earlier. The way I did it was kind of weird though and inadvertently made it so the world would return to its original state if anything didn't match up with how I wanted it to go. It seems the cost of doing all that was erasing my memories, extremely weakening my powers, and destroying C's body.

I don't personally remember these events and I don't want to trust C, but there’s a few factors that make me think C is telling the truth:

NOBODY knows about my creation powers as I make sure I'm alone when I use them

I already had a feeling that I had something to do with that destroyed city (C said that wasn't my doing, but I had been there when C personally destroyed it before the loop was created)

Based on how I've felt about R, H, and B during these loops, I think I would literally recreate the world for them if it had all been destroyed

The way C talked about us was different than the way C usually interacts with me (as I could directly compare; afterwards C immediately killed me and the world reset again)

Like I said, I explained all of this to R, H, and B and they said I wasn't the asshole, but I still feel horrible for subjecting them to live through all of this over and over even if I don't remember making it happen. Not to mention destroying C's body and further souring our relationship we apparently had... Am I the asshole?

[ayahimes]

# 𝐀𝐘𝐀𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 : private , single muse blog for 𝒂𝒚𝒂𝒌𝒂 𝒌𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒐 from hoyoverse's genshin impact . i am not directly affiliated with hoyoverse in any way and all headcanons are inspired by myself with inspiration from ayaka's canon and japanese lore . please read rules before interacting .

[ carrd ]

                   [ est. 4/23 . ] 25 + . loved by astrid . est . beta editor

𝒓𝒖𝒍𝒆𝒔 ( mobile )

01. this is a private, single-muse, multiship, & multiverse blog centered on ayaka kamisato from genshin impact. my interpretation of ayaka is entirely my own and incorporates elements from the game and japanese lore / culture . ayaka is 20 years old and canonically follows the events of her storyline in the game . she uses she/her pronouns and is demiromantic

02. i am mutuals only. i reserve the right to block anyone whom i don’t want following me. i just want to focus on the handful of threads i have here with the people I currently write with.

03. duplicate interactions : i'm capping my threads with duplicate interactions of the same muse. i will limit them to 2-3 of the same muse. crossover ships (romantic) are exclusive but other dynamics (i.e. platonic, antagonistic, etc.) are not. i just want to focus on establishing more in depth dynamics with the people I have threads with and not oversaturate those types of relationships.

04. because of school and work my activity is low and sporadic at times. i may as well be on a constant semi-hiatus because of my life outside of here. please respect that i may not always reply quickly.

05. I do not condone callout culture on this blog with some exceptions. If you reblog without tagging it then I will most likely softblock. There is only one major exception to this rule and that is m/tt. What he has done to people in various groups and fandoms of the RPC is inexcusable.

06. i generally use small/sub text formatting. i am more than happy to accommodate for anyone who would like it changed. there's nothing fun about eye strain!

07. i prefer multi-para / novella style writing, but am not limited to it. it takes me a bit longer to answer those particular threads but i’d much rather do those than one-liners. (i don’t mind one-liner interactions, but i’ll most likely not continue them after some time.) also prefer plotted threads. i don't need in depth plotting, but at least a general idea so i know which direction to go. i work better if there's a foundation for what we plan on doing.

08. there will be nsfw and triggering content on this blog. the following will be tagged appropriately. ( i.e. nsfw // , tw blood ) i have no triggers. i will not write non-con/r*pe or any underage smut.

09. I absolutely love shipping. I am not limited to only writing romantic ships but would love to invest in platonic, familial, and antagonistic ones as well.

10. drama and callouts : i'm pro-callout of very problematic people and am not afraid to reblog something if i personally think someone is truly harmful . i'll be sure to tag it as ' drama // ' but i want to make anyone following me aware that i don't tolerate a lot of the bad behavior i've seen in the rpc .

[ i will not go into detail with the issues i have surrounding the people listed below , however , please understand that i choose to keep these people at arms length as well as anyone in their close circle of friends . i don't necessarily care if people choose to interact with these individuals but if i softblock it's nothing against you and simply for my own comfort on my blog ]

- autumn / jewel / rose (housep1ant , gainsflora , selinaes, onlyallans , peculiarbeauty) + callout - jamie (thevcssel , naisetsu , kazehashira)

[polldatavisualizer]

tumblr poll results are often misleading for polls that involve more than one variable

my mission is to create representations of data collected in tumblr polls that allow the data to be interpreted meaningfully, and to improve statistical literacy on this website.

if you’re like me, you’ve probably looked at polls interrogating more than one variable, you know, ones like this:

Q: ARE YOU WEARING PANTS RIGHT NOW?

OPTION 1: Yes, and I’m a horse that uses tumblr - 0.1%

OPTION 2: No, and I’m a horse that uses tumblr - 0.7%

OPTION 3: Yes, and I’m a human - 69%

OPTION 4: No, and I’m a human - 30.2%

and thought to yourself, “man, a bar chart without any kind of normalization is a super confusing and possibly misleading way to represent these data.” or maybe that’s just me.

I feel strongly about good data viz, and I started doing this for myself because I was curious how certain poll results would look if the data were represented better. this is (mostly) a lighthearted blog.

if I reblog your poll and you want my reblog deleted, tell me via the ask box and I’ll delete it—but you need to provide a reason (“this poll was a joke” is a perfectly valid reason, as is “I don’t like your vibe”—you just have to tell me something). this is because lack of statistical literacy and bad data representation being seen by large swaths of young impressionable tumblr users genuinely concerns me a little bit. please note (before you, poll creator, get offended) that tumblr’s polling system is at fault here, not you, poll creator, trying to collect information with a very limited data collection tool.

you can submit polls you want interpretation for and I’ll do my best. rules for submitting polls:

the poll doesn’t have to have closed, but I won’t interpret the data until the poll closes. for obvious reasons.

you can submit joke polls, but I will treat them the same as any other poll.

some polls are formulated in such a way that makes the data collected inherently uninterpretable. if you submit a poll that I feel is uninterpretable, I will say so. don’t get mad, it’s my opinion.

please DO NOT submit polls from fandom-oriented poll blogs (character tournaments, the like). I just don’t care and don’t want to get caught up in drama surrounding those sorts of things.

about the mod: I’m an adult. mid 20s. my pronouns are he/him. I am white, transgender, autistic, and queer. I’m a biologist, which is a field with a serious data misinterpretation and misrepresentation problem, which is why I’ve got this big ass chip on my shoulder.

I do data viz in R using ggplot2, which is overkill for this application, but it’s fun for me, and stupid easy to crank out plots. I’ll publish all code I write for this blog. Learn R! She’s open source! She’s kinda wacky and illogical sometimes as a result but we love her!

no terf shit. no racist shit. no cop shit. no zionists. kill yourselves and go to hell. will do my best to check OPs for these things but if I reblog a poll made by someone who falls into any of these categories please let me know ASAP so I can delete and block.

[13tinysocks]

Hey, transguy here. One of my straps is named Odette and I call her by she/her pronouns. Not always a big fan of my boobs, but I'm fine having a pussy. Isn't it more transphobic to limit what trans people can do with their identity than to just let them do what they want? Is this not exactly what the people who are against our community are doing? If you want to do your own thing, do your own thing. That's what's so amazing about gender and the trans experience, you get to curate how you're seen. It's clear to me, having read your fics, that you've consulted trans people and I know you've said that you and bee are both trans multiple times. It's not cool or "valid" to police others on what they can do with their identities. In saying that the way a certain trans character is written is "wrong," or "offensive," you're hurting trans people. Someone you know could do the thing that you’re conplaining about and feel less comfortable around you for saying that you don't think they should experience gender that way, anon. Please think before you harass people online.

I don't think I could put it any better. This is TMI but I also have a strap and since it's an object and funny I call it by he/she pronouns. While he/him is typically used for men and as a lesbian I don't like men- I don't care because the pronouns don't change shit. It's still attached to my dyke partner. We're still having a gay time. We don't care.

Look I was dragged down the Kalvin Garahh pipeline when I was 14 and it messed me up. Those messages wreak of that same toxic mentality. While I know some trans people would rather be binary it's counter productive to attack not binary trans people. It's just really weird because it has also been two years and I hardly knew these people.

I'm really happy that you can tell we try.

Anyway me and my massive fucking council on transboy besties in the GC wondering what the FUCK these ppl r talking about:

[evilmagician430]

u know what fuck it *posts my venturiantale warrior cats*

uh this is just the acachalla immediate family + maddie though i will post the pie cats when i've drawn all of them

i fucking LOVE designing warriorcats with stupid design motifs and shit and i love turning characters that already exist from something i like into the type of character in something else i like. this is one of those things in life that keep me relatively sane

"lore":

blazestar is the clan leader but her warrior name was blazepool ^_^ i only mention this because when i came up with her name i thought it was soo pretty then i remembered if shes the clan leader she has 2 have the suffix -star. so the nice name i came up with went out teh window entirely. she became clan leader after the former leader and his deputy DIED in the same night due to a mysterious incident. nobody rlly cared though rip bozos. time 4 milf power. the medicine cat literally had a vision about how blazepool needs 2 be the new clan leader. thats how they decided so suddenly after that night in... garry'sclan...

missingfur is literally an old man he needs to stop killing people over territory boundaries but he doesnt have any other pastimes since he doesnt have any good stories or even ticks

pigeonfoot is the medicine cat and hes billy if you cant tell. i think all my designs r pretty obvious though so whatever. he knows everything awful that is going on but hes so dumn he forgets it instantly after starclan tells him. he caused a girl 2 spiral into insanity entirely on accident. he so cute i put little stars in his eyes because i thought that would be a fun idea for medcats 2 have stars in their eyes like how leaders r sometimes drawn with a star on their chest or forehead (like i did w blazestar..) i legit based his fur patterning and stuff off of a pigeon because again. cuteness points. the vm influence is deep under my skin like scarabs

BRIARFACE the little thing next 2 one of their ears is actually supposed 2 be a briar flower idk if you can see it. the token former kittypet. she used to live in a house but then she saw blazestar and missingfur on her patio one day and blazestar was like "what are your pronouns" and briarface (then some silly housecat name like uhh sweetums) was like. "she/they, i guess, but my housefolk have no way of knowing that, they just think im a tom" and blazestar was all like "if you join our clan we will call you by your preferred pronouns" and she was like folding missingfur's ears closed the whole time since he insisted on coming to the new recruit and wouldve been a bitch. and sweetums said "what?". and blazestar said "what." genuinely not understanding what they were not understanding. 2 weeks later she would become part of the family and be christened briarface because briar is like briar rose and it sounds pretty and face because they have distinctive facial patterning.

mapleclaw is the strongest toughest roughest prettiest girl in garry'sclan and she goe's two hell every night to get better at it. this isnt a secret though everybody knows and nobody minds. pigeonfoot found out from a vision and told everyone and they were like. cool. and he was like oh i guess its fine then. must not be that bad. like her venturiantale counterpart she also lost her entire original family when she was young to murder carried out by none other than JIMMY CASKET... a name that gets sillier the more i think about it. in this au or whatever his name is gravelblade. more on gravelblade later..

rustedpaw oh my god.. el gato ever. he also had all his remaining family die for unspecified reasons when he was quite young. blazestar finds him sitting pathetically in a pile of blood next to one or more of his family members corpsces. takes him home adopts him without question and apprentices him to gravelstep (gravelblade's non evil default form) but then he tries 2 kill missingfur in his sleep and #fails and blazestar is like!!! not my platonic babygirl guy best friend with tax benefits!! and they both decide 2 DIG A HOLE IN THE GROUND LIKE A FOXHOLE and make him live in there 4 being a foxheart (attempted murder). then he just lives there. screaming to be heard. sometimes a cat will stop by to talk with him out of pity or genuine interest. sometime it will be mapleclaw as she's also in charge of bringing him food. also gravelstep is bummed abt being out of an apprentice bht blazestar is like "Don't worry... youre still my fav deputy :)" and gravelstep says " i am your only deputy stop acting like its a superlative"

foxflower used to be a friend of pigeonfoot's who had like a big crush on him and was contantly teasing him, flirting with him and every1 thought they were going to become mates but pigeonfoot just wasnt into her like that. this was solidified when he became a medicine cat and foxflower was like. oh fuck now i REALLY cant have him. so instead she dedicated her life to evil. she still harasses pigeonfoot while hes working and in defense mode mapleclaw killed her early on. they forgot 2 bury her and she stood up and started talking and walking around again 24 hrs later. this was how they discovered every1 in garry'sclan or venturianclan or whatever im calling it has infinity lives..

because they exist purely 2 entertain starclan and nothing they do or that happens 2 them matterz. blazestar actually found this out while she was becoming leader but 4got 2 tell everyone ^_^;

gee whiz i did not realize how much text i would need to type out the lore i had in my head 4 these guys OOPS. guess i really am that deranged. i hope theres like a read more thing on this post when i put it up so this isnt like hell to scroll past everytime uhh goodnight!

[imjustcoping]

21/10/22

i get the feeling my best friend doesn't believe in non binary.  A while ago she said that she didn't believe it was a a thing.  she literally called it a phase because she didn't know any adult that were non binary who used they/them in their pronouns.  Which i find silly because she is a pansexual girl who should understand the stigma that gay people faced and still face.  After years of being told that being gay isn't real and that its just a phase and she says that.  and she doesn't really view trans people as people- she says its because her dad is a doctor and he finds it really difficult to diagnose trans patients when he doenst know what they are.  Its so fucking stupid he could legit just ask if they were afab or amab but it should already be in their medical history.  i fucking hate it.  I also sent before and after picture of me wearing a binder and i was so happy.  In the GC T congratulated me and gave me a shit ton of affirmations and it made me feel so genuinely good.  but S just ignored it.  I know we are drifting apart and i know its my fault because this always happens.  after 5 years they go, they just disappear into the mist, a new school, new friends, or im too much

And last night i was doing an assignment on 2 separate books.  Aftter i finished the first one i went on tiktok and of course a bunch of relatable autism stuff starts coming up and a vid about the raads-r test comes up.  so i do teh test and  get high scores and i do a bunch more of those tests and keep getting high scores in them.. In my 3am haze i sent the quiz to my family gc because im almost positive that my dad has autism.  But he had a partially open discussion about it with me the next morning, to  be continued for when i wasnt late for school.  when i finally gathered up the courage to tell my bsf from before that day that i scored high in these autism tests and i was kind of excited to maybe understand why im like this, because ive been diagnosed with depression and anxiety.  ad autism can often be misdiagnosed for those two mental illnesses if you have been kind of traumatized as an autistic person. She told me that it probably isnt it.  She old me that sh doesn't trust those autism tests and that i shouldnt just self diagnose and that the depression and anxiety is whats making me think that.  It felt liek shit.  becsue tehre is a lot of evidence towards me being autistic, alongside the teste there s also a bunch of symptoms and there is a link between autism and asexuality(im asexual) where in a population of people there is about 1% asexuals but in the autistic populations they were far more likely to be asexual or feel disgusted toward sexual penetration.  

I know that i cant just self diagnose but im trying to figure out whats wrong with me and its not like im about to go around telling everyone im autistic becasue ive self diagnosed my depression and anxiety for years and have only told like three people, and even now that ive been diagnosed i haven't told anyone else.  Im not doing this because its trendy, the trend has just made me aware of how many autistic traits i carry around with me.  i was just finally happy that maybe im getting somewhere with figuring out my mental health.

I think im gonna tell my other friend from that group chat.  she is so supportive and has suspicions that she is autisic too. So im going to send her a message, with a forewarning.  I just want to talk to someone who is actually going to listen about what i have to say before throwing her opinion in.  And the pure confusion i have relation to my inability to express and know what emotions im feeling, she knows i have trouble with expressing my emotions and talking about how i feel but she doesnt seem to realise the impact on me

The dumb part about my friend telling me not to self diagnose is that she has been telling EVERYONE that she has ADHD for 2 years, she even told us in a group convo when she was accusing someone else of being a pick me for pretending to have adhd, someone pointed oout to my frined that she kind of mentioned having adhd a lot aswell and my friend tells everyone that her therapist diagnosed her.  she lied to us and Up until now she didnt say she didnt have adhd until shes trying to prove me wrong.  She basically said that she cant say she has adhd just because she gets easily distracted.  

I had fully supported her, when she claimed she had adhd, i believed her and did my won research, sending her videos which are supposed to help learning in a nuerotypical classroom easier.  and all she does is tell me that those tests arent reliable.  AT LEAST I ACTUALLY TOOK SOME TESTS INSTEAD OF PROPERLY SELF DIAGNOSING FOR YEARS AND BRAGGING ABOUT ADHD AND USING IT AS AN EXCUSE TO INTERRUPT AND IGNORE PEOPLE.AND T

[papirouge]

What jpop artists do you like? Lately ive been getting into some like perfume, and sheena ringo or even vintage ones like pink lady or candies. Ive also heard lots of good things about hikada utaru, but aparently she identifies as nonbinary now?! Does it make me petty not to want to listen to her just because of that? Like i expected better of Japan artists but i guess even they can be delulu like american artists...

Yeah, there's been a whole discourse with Hikaru Utada because she suddenly said she didn't want to be described with gendered pronouns such as "Ms." before her name (and instead use Mx. or something like that). It's interesting to note that Hikki is fluent in English, and there was hardly any chance that someone who only speaks Japanese get so nitpicky about pronouns. 'Ms' doesn't really exist in Japanese, and actually Japanese is a pretty non gendered language (even less than English). So it's really interesting how the linguistic influence of the West took a toll of her. This statement was clearly dedicated to her Western audience, the only that would consistently use pronouns to describe her. However, she never stated she wanted to he called "she/they/them" or whatever.

Music wise, I'm not really fond of her music. I really like her 'ULTRA BLUE' album (which is famous for "Passion" which was Kingdom Hearts 2 theme) and some songs here and there though. Hikki is famous for having Jpop most groundbreaking debut at only 16 years old with "Automatic" (this song aged like fine wine tbh) by 1)being one of the biggest selling record in Japan 2)shoving R&B element in her music which was very outstanding at that time. The fact that she wrote at such a young age (and still do) all her lyrics + is fluent in English gave her a very solid 'ace' aura, and die hard fans who still to this day will jump on your throat if you 'dare' criticize their queen lol I remember someone who said that even her most upbeat/positive songs (Keep tryin', COLORS, Traveling…) always had a sad & melancholic era, and I think that's the most accurate description of her music, maybe that's why I have a hard time listening to her albums bc they (beside 'ULTRA BLUE' and 'HEART STATION' which are imo her most lighthearted ones) have this very downer, softdoom vibe~

That being said, it would be ridiculous to not listen to her just bc she has pronouns anon lol It's pretty funny how some people are getting so cranky abt pronouns-having artists and boast about how refuse to entertain anything that they do....but will have issue to keep watching/listening to movies/music of predators, sex pest and convicted rapists lmao

I always got a weird vibe from Sheena Ringo and never got remotely interested in her music. The rumors about she being a closeted Japanese nationalist just bc of her NIPPON album era (where she had her audience wave Japanese imperial flags) are insane though lmao Hopefully those people have the same energy to call out Miley Cyrus for being an American Nationalist for her song "Party in the USA" where she dances before a giant American flag 🤡

I hardly listen to new Japanese artists anymore. I replied to an ask not too long ago where I professed my love for Ayumi Hamasaki (her 10 first year of career were pristine - she really should've retired at her 10 years Complete Singles best album momentum because everything after that has pretty much been trash tbh). Her album LOVEppears is probably my favorite album of all time 🥴

I'll never be over how cute she looks on "Fly High" MV (one of my favorite of her - those platform shoes + micro short + glittery sweatshirt combo will never get old / this MV is 23 years old and that outfit is still KICKIN #legendary)

Also pretty random because that's not a band that I'm checking like that, but THE ORAL CIGARETTES 'UNOFFICIAL' album is an absolute no skip banger. I hardly remember a Jrock album that got me hooked like that those last few years😳

I have so many other Japanese acts that I love it's really insane (I am more savvy of Japanese music that western one).

Soloist wise, I grew up in womanhood listening to Kana Nishino and her music is literally the soundtrack of my early 20s. We were born only a month apart and felt so connected to her and her songs. She truly has a special place in my heart. Her debut & sophomore albums 'LOVE one.' and 'to LOVE' got 20 years old me on a CHOKEHOLD! "Motto" got me crying all my tears off a dusty lmaoooo😭 it's insane how her songs matched with my life - we truly had a connection

Tomiko Van and Kana Nishino are Jpop best vocalists imo ELLEGARDEN (rip) and ART-SCHOOL are my favorite bands of all time. ASIAN KUNG FU GENERATION and UVERworld had a decent run in the 2000s. Perfume is still kicking.....but I don't really catch up with them anymore cause I've been trying to cut out secular music off my playlist

[arlecchno]

laughs in currently on summer break ,,,,,,

speaking of that tho , ive been busying myself by playing video games so much LMAO me and my silly visual novel names ( because im too lazy to play anything that needs me to put actual effort into it hahahhahahaha - )

SO THE STORY RIGHT - its a think me and my friend have been workin on since like the end of 2021 n its like set in a royal fantasy like au , fantasy monsters are something that havent been brought up in the discussion but we have cool magic stuff LOL . the most stuff thats defined is the very basic plot idea , the MCs r named Ashe Najimek ( prince , any pronouns ) , Rin Vasilios ( princess , she/her ) , and Kiole Soubaki ( king , he/him ) . dont question ANY of these last names because najimeks is just a keyboard smash and the rest were chosen by my friend they have no significant whatsoever LOL . aaaanyways , rin and ashe are basically from this mainland where all the kingdoms are secretly feuding with eachother but in order to maintain peace for the citizens they wont start an actual war . basically its every kingdom for themselves except for their silly trading systems . ashe and rins kingdoms are like at eachothers throats now since ashe and rin were born with the most magical power their lands have ever seen and its that trope where “child gets born into power and parents use them for own benefit causing child to rebel” yada yada but WUH OH WHATS THAT IS THAT 🫢🫢😨😱 GASP ANGST ?!?????!???? yeah lets go were tormenting our characters today baby ‼️‼️ the full book will go into the struggles of rin and ashe and how they end up as a result of how they take their circumstances . and how they become friends bc of those circumstances . lovely friendship . oh and theres two others that are their guards . Sio and Erza Eztli . theyre twins n stuff . THEY WILL GET DEVELOPMENT TOO WE JUST SHANT SPEAK OF IT NOW . im planning to make them long lost siblings tho lmao ! omg ive gone on such a long rant and i still havent talked about kiole . anyways so kiole is the token mentor character which i will not go into detail because SPOILERS MAYBE . he rules the edgy edgy kingdom of DEATH AND DARKNESS and all the other kingdoms have kinda outcasted his so nobody knows the fucker outside of whispers from the shadowed souls themselves MUAHAHAHAH - ahem anyways .

HERE ARE OUR MCSSS i love them awaaaaaaa

GOSH THO GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SCHOOL STUFF THAT SOUNDS LIKE SO MUCH BYE 😭😭😭

i also JUST read chapter 5 recently and like …

( for context my friends name / nickname is roof )

ANYWAYS THATS IT FOR NOW CYA LATTEEEERRR !!!!

RAHHHHH HELLO TO YOUUUU!!!! hope you're enjoying your summer break 🫂

AND YOUR STORY TOO!!!!!!! that sounds so interesting already and ROYAL FANTASY AU⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ SIGN ME TF UP BRO I LIVEEE FOR FANTASY AUS bro you got me hooked with the storyline and characters already and it's still in the works 🤞🤞 their last names are soooo creative too like even if they're a keyboard smash or whatever,,,, still so intriguing like yes sign me up AGAIN!!!! wish my keyboard makes up random and cool last names lmao

THE MCS...... please let me touch their hair i swear they've GOT to have the most silkiest hair in their kingdoms like excuse me let me bow down to them and ask them for tips and tricks 😞🙏

thank you hehe school is.... yeah whatever school's been the same for me but i thrive to live up to the day asphodelus finally ends LOL i need to get that series done before i'm even more burnt out

LMAO YOUR FRIEND'S NICKNAME BEING ROOF IS GOLD 😭 fun fact i was literally like brain dead trying to figure out some bad humour to insert in those lines but somehow ended up with that... (may or may not be a bit of a self insert because i totally don't stare at my own ceiling and wished i was the ceiling instead hahaha definitely haven't.... ever.....)

HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL THESE DAYS AND I'LL CYA LATER TOOOO💌💌