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penumbra-mayhem · 24 days ago

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An Accidental Bridge

Sam/Darlin' fluff | 1759 words

(I hc Darlin' with a stutter; read here for more.)

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Sam’s mind was gently pulled into consciousness as a great horned owl called from outside his bedroom. He glimpsed at the clock on the wall. Nine o'clock. Still late evening, not yet time to be up. Enticed by the owl's promise of a set sun, though, Sam slipped off his blankets.

Bare feet met hardwood as he left the bed, eyes still closed in an attempt to at least stay half-asleep. He shuffled over to his window and pulled back the black-out curtains before feeling around for the latch. His fingers found it just as a sliver of a voice snuck through the silence:

“SSSam?”

He gave a groggy response as he opened the window, “Jus’ gettin’ someair…”

Darlin’ gave a low hum of approval and rolled over to face him. Sam made his way back over and climbed into their bed with all the grace of a drunk bat, eliciting a sleep-laden giggle from his mate.

“Oh, hush,” he grumbled, his smile unwittingly trickling into his voice, “I’m barely awake.” He drew Darlin’ to his chest.

They both drifted in and out of sleep, lulled by the owl’s repeated call. The cool air of early night seeped into their room; the two snuggled further under the covers in response.

"I can feel your magic,” Sam mumbled. It was an uncommon sensation; usually, Darlin' only let their magic extend beyond themself when they felt safe. And they rarely felt safe.

“Yours t-t-too...”

“Feel good?”

Sam felt them nod. He gave them a small kiss before asking, “What’s it feel like?”

Darlin’ drew sleepy circles on his chest as they tuned into his magic. After a few moments of silence, they spoke—slowly, like they were savoring a flavor in their mouth:

“It’s l-l-like….sinking into a wwwarm b-b-bath..it’s like a…b-b-bass…low and in-in the b-back…thrumming…ocean wwwaves under a full mmmoon…immmmense…soothing…l-like aloe v-vera on skin after a-a sunny day…”

Joy swelled in Sam's chest and he tightened his arms around them. “I love the way you put that, darlin’,” he murmured.

Darlin’ smiled softly, sleep tugging at them. “How's mmmine?”

“Yours? Mmm…” Sam allowed Darlin’s magic to seep into him. “Your magic…is like fireworks. Those kinds that you light and then toss into the street to see them spin real quick and change colors…you’re the buzz after a concert...the windswept euphoria when you get off a roller coaster…you’re stargazin' durin' a meteor shower…your magic feels like…like…”

Home.

Darlin’ jumped.

They pushed themself up a bit and stared at Sam with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” he asked, staring back in concern.

They shook their head. “Fuck, I-I-I heard y-you in-in mmmmy head.”

Sam mouthed a small ‘oh’. Seeing that Darlin’ was more startled than scared, he relaxed slightly. “You think we might of bridged?”

Darlin’ gave a small nod. “I-I didn’t mmmmean t-t-to.”

“Me neither,” Sam assured them, “Guess we were just…in tune with each other.”

They dropped their gaze. "I...I-I haven't d-d-d-done that in-in...in a l-l-l-long t-t-time."

"Me neither," Sam replied. He studied them a moment before asking, "Are you okay?"

They nodded again. "Are-are y-you?"

Sam couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just worried about you."

Darlin' lowered their head back onto his chest. “I-I’m fine. J-just…surprised mmme,” they muttered, trying to slow Sam's heartrate with their words.

Sam ran one hand up and down their back, with the other in their hair. When he felt like they had both reached a state of calm again, he asked, “Is that somethin' you’d be interested in doin' with me?"

After no response, he added, "S'alright if the answer’s no.”

"You don't wwwant that. N-not wwwwith mmme."

Shut down. It was the kind of response he often got from them. It was the kind of response he couldn't stand. He knew it was a form of protection, and they had been getting better about it. But still, every so often, Darlin' would deny him or themself something in the belief that they were broken or unworthy or dangerous. Every time, it simultaneously burned Sam's heart and broke it.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, trying to keep his tone gentle.

Darlin' bit the inside of their cheek. When he was met with no response again, Sam kissed the top of their head and entreated, "Please, Darlin'. You don't have to speak quick. You don't even have to give an explanation. But please don't ignore me entirely."

Fuck. How could words spoken soft as candlelight twist guilt into their gut like a knife? Darlin' buried their face into Sam's chest, breathing in his scent. It steadied them.

Finally, they responded, their voice muffled by Sam's sleepshirt, "It...fucking s-sucks…in-in mmmy head."

There it was.

Sam sighed, "That may be true, for you. But that doesn't mean I don't want to bridge with you. I'm not scared of your thoughts, darlin'."

"B-but you should b-be.”

"But I'm not," Sam pushed back, just a little. Silence fell between them, and he let it. Darlin' had answered his question. There was no point in trying to convince them how he felt. He kissed their head once again in silent reassurance that he was not mad and closed his eyes, hoping to get a bit more sleep.

Darlin' bit harder at the inside of their cheek, their mind buzzing with frustration. The owl outside made itself known again; Darlin' laid in indecision as they listened to it call over and over. They could feel Sam's magic—not reaching out but still present. His magic was safe. He was safe. He was strong. Stronger than they were. Braver. Calmer. Steadier.

When Darlin' finally spoke, their voice was small and soft and scared:

"I-I wwwwant t-to try...if-if you also wwwant t-to."

Sam felt his heart skip. He craned his neck to the side to make eye contact with Darlin' as he asked, "You sure? I don't want you doin' this if you're not really wantin’ it."

"You-you give mmme all of you. I-I wwant to do the same. E-Even if it scares mme," they whispered, "I-I wwwant t-to b-be b-brave for you."

"You don't have to."

"B-but I wwant t-to."

Sam studied their face for a moment before kissing their forehead and whispering, "Alright. Thank you, darlin'. But if we start and you don’t like it, you tell me and we’ll stop, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good…is there a certain way you want to lay or sit?"

"N-n-no. You?"

"Nah, this is perfect."

Sam closed his eyes and leaned his head back against his pillow, running his hand through Darlin's hair. Darlin' closed their eyes as well, listening to Sam's heart.

It was quick. Almost as quick as the first time. When the bridge reformed, Sam could feel Darlin's body tense against his. Through the bridge, he felt the tension in his own muscles. He kissed the top of their head.

It's okay. You're safe.

“Fuck.” Fuck, woah, that's fucking weird.

I'm going to fuck this up.

I shouldn't have done this.

I'm just going to hurt you—

—hey, hey, it's ok.

Fuck, sorry, I'll try to quiet down...

...Do you think anyone's ever tried bridging with more than one person at one time?

If you can do that, could you make a true hive mind?

Bee people. Bee shifters? Are there any insect shifters—

—fuck! Sorry!

"SSSorry..." Darlin' muttered. Sam giggled and stroked Darlin's head. The sensation soothed them both.

You're alright, darlin'.

I don’t mind your thoughts.

But you should—

—shut up, Tank—

—fuck, I wish I would just shut up!

Sorry…

...Your head is so quiet.

Shit, I don't mean quiet like empty I just—

—god I am such an ass!

You're not an ass, darlin'.

Damn, I love you.

I love you.

"I love you, darlin'."

Darlin’s body went lax at the assurance. Their mind stilled for just a moment. Tap tap tap. Darlin’ tapped Sam’s chest three times—a gesture he’d come to learn meant ‘I love you’. The feeling of their own fingers echoed against Darlin’s chest.

I love you, too.

So much.

Fuck what time is it?

Shit, we’ve got to get up soon.

Do we?

It’s…Saturday? Yeah, Saturday.

Fuck yeah, we can stay in bed.

We could make breakfast.

More like you could make breakfast, I’m shit at cooking.

I’m shit at most things.

I don’t even think I’m doing this right—

—you’re doin’ just fine, pup.

Sam’s heart skipped as he realized what he’d just thought. Or maybe it was Darlin’s heart skipping, he couldn’t quite tell. His eyes shot open, and he looked down at Darlin’, whose face was already turning red. Sam’s own face began to burn too.

“Fuck, Darlin’, I’m so sorry.” I’m sorry.

I didn’t mean to think that.

That wasn’t appropriate.

I should have asked before—

—fuck…

For once, Darlin’s head was quiet. Like static. Sam’s stomach fluttered. Or maybe it was Darlin’s. The bridge was somehow deepening, and Sam struggled to differentiate where the feelings were originating.

I know wolves can be particular with those kinds of names.

Especially when their mates aren’t wolves.

I should have asked.

I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…

Sam’s thoughts slowed as Darlin’ pressed a soft kiss to his lips. They buried their face into his neck.

“Darlin’?”

I liked that.

You…what? "What?"

Darlin’ groaned quietly, “I-I liked it.”

Call me it again—

—wait, I mean, uh, um…

A grin stretched across Sam’s face. “Oh yeah?” he cooed, stroking the nape of Darlin’s neck.

You like bein’ called pup?

Sam giggled as his stomach fluttered at the word; this time he could tell that feeling definitely came from Darlin’.

You just a little puppy?

My puppy?

“SSSSSaaaammm…” Darlin’ whined.

Sam pulled his body back a bit. Darlin’ turned their head to look up at him. The blush on their cheeks made Sam swoon, but he still had to be sure:

“I can stop, darlin’,” Sam said, his voice soft but serious.

Darlin’ shook their head. “N-no.” It’s just, nobody’s ever called me that…

Sam couldn’t stop grinning. Their blush. The way they ducked their head and avoided his eyes. The weakness in their voice. He rarely saw Darlin’ so bashful.

Well it’s about time…

My sweet puppy…

C’mere… "C'mere."

Darlin’ hummed as they curled themself around Sam once more, tangling their limbs with his. Sam ran his hands through their hair as they traced their fingers over his chest. The two sank into repose as their sensations and thoughts melded and lost origin.

Sam breathed deep and murmured, “Such a good pup.”

Your pup.

#I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS FIC #IT TOOK WEEKS CAUSE I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO DO WITH IT/WHERE TO TAKE IT #anyway i tried to show intrusive/unintentional thoughts with the small font but idk how effectively it came across #also sam and darlin are green and purple respectively in part because i feel like those are their colors #and also in part because i love that color combo #(tho i do love orange for sam and red for darlin too)#also i do want to say that i don’t think anyone owes their partner all of them #but that seems to be sam and darlin’s dynamic so i had to write it that way to keep them in character #and i was referencing the ba when sam bites darlin for the first time #this fic is building off of some stuff ive been writing over the past like two weeks about darlin's wolf and what their wolf is called #for more of that check out this tag>>>#mayhem is brewing #redacted fanfic #redacted audio #redacted fandom #redacted asmr #redactedverse #redacted darlin #redacted sam #redacted headcanons #redactedasmr

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theharellan · 2 months ago

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Canon Divergences / Interpretation Notes

This is a non-comprehensive of my canon divergent headcanons, divergent worldstate options, and headcanons I would classify as "canon compliant but not explicitly stated so people have come to completely different conclusions than me."

As said, this won't be every headcanon I've ever had or we'd be here hours. Most people I roleplay with don't need to know Solas shaved his head due to sensory issues/grief, that he didn't name his hart but it's now called Elvhen for "fool" just out of habit, etc.

Spoilers for The Veilguard under the cut.

Solas is biromantic/asexual. If you know Solas and Ian (@theshirallen) the former is obvious, the latter is likely unknown.

Solas is agender. He is more likely to out himself to people who speak Elvhen (he doesn't care about pronouns outside of his native tongue), where he'll use any pronouns. Most everyone who knew him in Elvhenan would know this as it is an inherent part of his nature then.

Solas told the truth in Crestwood. No one but Ian knows exactly what was said in Crestwood, although ancient elf agents like Miraen (@ancientimpudence) would know the gist of what happened. Obviously, Solas and Ian never breaking up would be common knowledge (although the fact that it almost happened wouldn't be - even to Solas, honestly). After the reveal of Solas as Fen'Harel, exactly what Ian's nature was (and has been) to Solas may be suspect: was he Solas's agent from the beginning, did he join during Inquisition, etc. Ian also follows Solas through the eluvians, although in verses where the Inquisitor is friendly with them Ian has to make himself an enemy of the state to force Solas's hand.

Dwarves and the beginning. I'm disregarding the idea that the first elves were copying humans, as the game didn't address the idea that the humans being around before the elves being a significant diversion. So unless I'm writing with someone with strong opinions to the contrary, they aren't around until after Solas begins his rebellion. Regardless, Solas was born of burgeoning dwarven wisdom.

Solas and names. After the Titan War, Wisdom is no longer his name, and he cycles through others in a desperate state to find who he is (Fen'samahl, Fen'amelan, etc). He became Pride not out of hubris when the world wasn't exactly as he wanted it, but as an act of rebellion. He rebelled not out of spite for the evanuris declaring themselves divine, but in protest of what they were doing to the people. He named himself as an example of what the elvhen people must do to stand against them: Solas, to stand tall.

Mythal and Solas had an abusive friendship. This post explains well why. I will write with Mythal who have a differing interpretations, but the default is that while Solas still shoulders responsibility for what they did together (and this portrayal note is in no way a means to excuse him) she betrayed him long before he killed her. He also possessed her vallaslin from the period of his physically manifestation to his rebellion.

Solas isn't bringing down the Veil for Mythal. While I think he believes she would agree with him, it is a choice he's making for the people he feels he has failed (living, dead, and metaphysical).

Agents of Fen'Harel are still around. Solas does not conveniently dismiss them right before the plot starts, although given the decentralised nature of them they are not always acting predictably. Those controlled and headed by people closest to him continue to act against the gods, and are available as a faction to Rook's party at the mid-point of the game (the most central figures being Miraen @ancientimpudence and Bruno @ourdawncomes).

The Veil can fall. The default endgame for this blog will be for a Veil-less world. Although, as Solas vowed, it is not his hand that brings it down, but Ian's. In our default verse with Thora Cadash (@ourdawncomes) as the former Inquisitor, offers her own aid through the Titans. Solas, for his part, was nearly talked from the path by Mythal and having a breakdown in the corner. I will eventually do a full write up for this divergence, so I'll leave it here for now, but suffice it to say default canon Solas isn't in fade jail.

#da4 spoilers #( headcanons )#( mod post )#abuse cw #[ i feel like im forgetting stuff but ive been writing him for 10 years so im doing my best ]

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