#so its not as up to par as id like it but i still had fun with it

[thapunqueen]

various study(?) doodles (idk if these count as studies or not im just tryna teach myself stuff </3)

[tgcg]

an open fly walking

i didnt like this one but i thought id finally air it out since its been sat in my folders for months now

TG: hey karkat

CG: YEAH?

===

TG: you ever noticed you like

TG: walk weird

CG: WOW, OKAY.

CG: HAVE *YOU* EVER NOTICED THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT?

TG: pff

===

TG: no listen because i got my ears scoping that shit im like a scouter for dude activity

TG: ok maybe me mentioning it to you is gonna fuck up your ecosystem or something but

TG: you have the heaviest feet of the century man

CG: I DO???

TG: just thrust them straight down into the ground like youre trying to homebrew a san andreas fault

TG: viciously tamping on tectonic plates hoping for top score on the richter scale

TG: waging war against solid particles and the basic flow of gravity

TG: i could ID those footfalls out of a million i mean it

CG: SERIOUSLY?

===

TG: i mean theres nothing wrong with it but

TG: yeah

CG: I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU'RE FUCKING WITH ME RIGHT NOW.

TG: im not fucking with you striders honor

TG: when have i ever lied to anybody about anything

CG: NOT UNPACKING THAT QUESTION WITH YOU TODAY.

CG: BUT SHIT, HOLD ON. LET ME SEE.

TG: yeah take the umbrella go over there and just walk to me

CG: ON IT.

===

===

TG: see you just kinda slam em straight down dude

CG: THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY RIOTOUS FUCKING JOKE OF A LIFE.

TG: dont your feet ache

===

CG: MOOT POINT. THIS MIGHT SOUND INSANE BUT I'VE ACTUALLY HAD MY STRUT PODS FOR A WHILE. ANY KIND OF PAIN THIS WOULD'VE BEEN CAUSING WOULD BE TOTALLY FILTERED OUT OF MY SPONGE BY NOW AS BACKGROUND NOISE.

TG: damn i didnt think that through

TG: my shades

CG: ALRIGHT, GET BACK UNDER THE SHITTING UMBRELLA AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

TG: look ive fucked myself over here too i dont have shit to clean these with

TG: ugh

===

TG: guess its karma

CG: HOLY FUCK. HOW DID I NEVER NOTICE THIS BEFORE?

TG: i dunno but im gonna assume having a dad thats a literal crab monster is probably a contributing factor

TG: im guessing thats not a great role model for this kinda thing

TG: just conjecture i mean

CG: YOUR ENVY IS OVERWHELMINGLY OBVIOUS DAVE. AS A DISCLAIMER, HE WOULD'VE ABSOLUTELY KICKED YOUR ASS.

TG: yeah probably

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THERE IS TO SAY ON THE MATTER.

===

TG: but see bro had me stringent on feather feets

TG: i bet i could slip across a bike horn warehouse with nary a fucking toot

CG: HAHA. ASSUMING YOU DON'T MAKE A TOTAL ASS OF YOURSELF, AS PER USUAL.

CG: IF YOU WEREN'T CONSTANTLY RUNNING YOUR GASH ABOUT EVERYTHING AND BEING AN INIMITABLE CLOWN I SERIOUSLY THINK YOU COULD BE ON PAR WITH YOUR CUSTODIAN.

CG: THAT IS A MONUMENTAL "IF".

TG: well look at it this way

TG: im basically doing you all a favor by being a dumbass

TG: never gonna get caught off guard by the bozo patrol

CG: WOW. GOOD POINT.

===

TG: also screw this can i use your shirt

TG: this stupid hoodie is just smudging my lenses up

TG: i cant see dick

CG: UH

CG: SURE, I GUESS.

TG: cool

===

TG: so yeah i could be prowling around like a goddamn verbal assassin sniping convos left and right

TG: but no ive got the decency to go bunp in the night

CG: YEAH.

CG: IT'S DEFINITELY COMPOUNDED BY THE CONSTANT INANE RAMBLINGS.

CG: BUT

CG: IT'S ACTUALLY PRETTY RELAXING, Y'KNOW? IT HAS ITS OWN RHYTHM.

TG: see yeah i sound it off and

===

TG: wait really?

CG: YEAH

CG: I DON'T KNOW

CG: FUCK. HOW DO I EXPLAIN THIS WITHOUT WANTING TO CRAM MY FROND DOWN MY PROTEIN CHUTE.

===

CG: IT'S LIKE

CG: A SALVE FOR MY AGGRAVATION SPONGE.

CG: YOUR VOICE IS THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF ASPIRIN.

TG: uh damn karkat hold your hoofbeasts i was talking about the rhythm thing

CG: ALRIGHT, THAT'S IT. I'M TAKING US BOTH THE FUCK OUT RIGHT NOW. YOU HAVE REACHED THE BAD END OF THIS CONVERSATION.

TG: you think thatd be heroic or just

CG: IF I WAS STILL GHOSTING AROUND THE RUINS OF SGRUB'S ARCANE FRIGGIN GAME SYSTEMS, THE COMPLETE LACK OF SHIT AFOOT NOWADAYS WOULD BORE ME TO DEATH.

CG: LIKE. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME OUR THERMAL HULL LEVELLED UP, DAVE?

TG: hah

===

TG: but uh

TG: i mean we had aspirin on earth

CG: NO, NUMBNUBS.

CG: I'M SAYING YOU ARE MY ASPIRIN.

TG: oh

CG: YEAH, TAKE THAT TO THE BANK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR 20-KARAT ASS.

===

TG: heh

TG: well get this

TG: i will literally talk at you forever for free

TG: you got lifetime priority seating for the davealogues

TG: never gotta go to the drugstore again you can just get doped up on my dulcet tones for the rest of time

TG: take that and some of this

TG: im packin punches

CG: OW, FUCK! NO! MY MIGRAINES!

CG: SWEEPS OF VEINCLOTTING AND NERVEFRAYING DOWN THE FUCKING GAPER. BECAUSE OF YOU.

CG: YOU ASSHOLE, THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME.

CG: AND YOU'RE LAUGHING.

TG: chuckle up it only gets worse from here

===

CG: BE HONEST WITH ME. DID FONDLING MY SHIRT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET EVEN DO ANYTHING?

TG: barely but yknow sometimes you just gotta deal the cards youre given

TG: ill just be astigmatic for a while its cool

CG: PFF… OKAY MAN.

[defiledtomb]

Ouroboros: The first year in development (+small update!)

On this day, a year from now, I sat in the stark light from my monitors, eyes bloodshot and hands trembling; and I clicked the post button. I then choked my pc to death and ran away screaming, scrambling into the corner of the couch on all fours, hissing at every shadow (only one of those statements is a lie).

It was 4 am and I had been scrambling to get the last details of the demo correct, mumbling to myself and reasoning with my dog. I was so happy to be writing again, after years of piddling around with lackluster projects. I never thought Ouro would be welcomed as it was, and to be honest, the fact that it was scared the living shit out of me. After the hype settled, and I sat watching the continuous stream of support that poured my way, I kind of crumbled. There was a long and dirty road of clawing myself out of self-doubt, impostor syndrome and perfectionism. Some part of me knew it was coming, since its very on par with how I am shaped as a person (sopping wet pathetic meow meow), but after climbing many hills on my ongoing healing journey, I felt like I was prepared for it.

Writing Ouroboros went from fun little sidequest to get my mind off becoming a sturdy part of society again (exhausting), to another workload, to form of therapy, then torture and back again. My writing journal is amusing to scroll through:

Things went from bad to...

worse,

until the storm finally weakened. Every entry in my journal from this point gets progressively more hopeful, more resilient against the bad days.

:> This was around the point where I decided I wouldn't give up, come hell or high water. The progress was slow, like bleeding stone and pulling teeth, but it was moving. By the turn of the new year I was battered and bruised, but still hopeful. And I know that this, these emotions that I went through, were way out of proportion for a hobby writing project, but with every ask that came through telling me about your MC's budding journey in Ouro, every gushing emotion you've shared with me, every gleaming piece of art, every kind word; every correcting one, too, this grew to something really precious to me. I wouldn't give it up for anything, even if it feels like I'm barely keeping my head above surface in this terrifying, stormy sea of a life.

I can't wait to see what comes next, even if the road is bumpy. All I know is that I will keep chipping away at this story with everything I got. And all I can say is that I'm so grateful for your continued support and patience, I barely have words for it. You are incredible. Thank you.

Now, enough of my bleeding heart. Get over here! I have some treats to share.

Mainly, it is the little update to the demo that I'd like to share; Idren/Ida's 101. I did my best to finish it today, but I only had an hour or two of effective worktime (excuse: I was outside for most of the day in bloody blizzard and it knocked me on my ass more than I'd like to admit). It is cut off at the different scene transitions, which I will add after I have some time to work on them this saturday. Id's 101 was the most complex out of all of them, so there is still plenty to explore and different outcomes to see. I hope you have fun!

To see it, go through Lena's scene and don't scream -> accept alliance -> visit archives. That will take you to the new content. CW for very emotionally charged arguments and... almost dying.

Play it here. Save often. (or wait until next week as I sadly couldn't finish everything on time for the anniversary) (I have done bare minimum playtesting, but I will fix any gamebreaking errors if there are any, immediately. There shouldn't be any, but you never know.)

A sneakpeek of the short I also will be working on on saturday:

It is sunny on the day of $!{leith}'s funeral. It is not supposed to be sunny. It is supposed to rain on bad days, and the wind is supposed to whip dry leaves into dancing columns. Thunder is supposed to rumble in the distance, and then right near so that the even the windows rattle with trepidation. But it doesn't. The sun lounges calmly on the perfectly still water of Riven's lake, glittering with winking light as the serene waves lick the edge of the populated harbor. There is chatter, too, not the moaning whispers of grieving people. Not a sob to be heard, but the flutter of a laugh and a joyous embrace of lovers right in front of you. 

"People have forgotten, the sacrifice we made." Lyselin stands in full knight-hunter armor beside you, the silver gleaming in the stark light.

And some art of F!Leith that I have started:

♥ That's it. Know that I'm working as hard as I can (both on Ouro, and learning how to balance work around it, lmao.), even if I fall short sometimes, there ain't no quitting. See you soon!

[xchxsex]

Mending Your Pain: Mark Hoffman NSFW

AN: Ive had this written for a while but I’ve never uploaded on here before and tbh i don’t think my work is up to par with other creators. I thought id give it a shot though. I have more of the series posted on my instagram which is the same as my tumblr.

TW: light blood play, degrading, praise, rough sex, oral (m and f receiving)

I wake up to a rustling sound in my living room. I turn to look at my clock. Jeez, its 2 am, what could be going on?

I get up and begin to walk out my bedroom door. I hear a familiar groan in the hallway. “Mark?,” i ask to the darkness in front of me.

I find the light switch and flick it on. He’s standing there, a gash on his forehead, a busted and bleeding nose and a busted lip. Thats just what i can see.

“Hey princess,” he says as i run to him.

He’s holding his side and is clearly in pain. “What happened?”

“A call didn’t go so well. He had some friends i didn’t know about and i didn’t have backup.”

I go to touch his side and he groans.

“Shouldn’t you be at a hospital?”

He’s breathing heavy.

“I probably should, but my princess always makes me feel better.”

I smile. I still think he should go to the doctor but maybe i can help. Ive been trained in some medical stuff which he probably already knows. “Here ill take a look.”

I take him back to my bedroom and sit him in my chair.

“You look good in my shirt baby,” he says.

I forgot i was wearing it. I put it on the night before because i missed him and wanted to feel comforted by him.

I go and get my first aid kit and my sewing kit incase i need it. I come back in and he’s sitting with his legs spread open, slumped down in my chair, smiling at me. I know he’s trying to get me going.

First, i check his nose and make sure it isn’t broken. When i touch it he grunts a little.

“Its not broken but it’ll definitely be bruised,” i tell him.

I take a wipe and wipe the blood from his nose and put a bandage on it. His lip will have to heal on its own but i can at least clean it up.

As i lean over and wipe his lip, he’s looking me deep into my eyes, his hands working their way up my back. He’s making me nervous.

I swallow back my emotions and continue to clean up his lip. Its his head that I’m worried about. I rinse it out with saline solution and dab it with gauze. I don’t think it’ll close up on its own.

“I think you’re gonna need a few stitches, can you handle that?,” i ask.

I look him in his eyes.

“Yeah, i can handle that. I have a high pain tolerance, go ahead,” he says in a certain kind of voice.

I open up my kit and grab a needle and thread. I get it ready and grab my lighter to sterilize it. As I’m about to loop it through the gash, his hand goes and sits on my ass.

“Just looking for something to squeeze if it hurts too bad.”

I roll my eyes at him. He grabs my throat and forces me to look at him.

“You wanna do that again?,” he says with a look in his eyes that he’ll make my eyes roll in a different way if i keep on.

“N-no… sir” i say.

He releases my throat and i can actually do what i need to. I get it looped through the first part and he’s squeezing my ass. I knew he was going to even if it didn’t hurt.

I continue with the stitches until i get most of it closed. When i get to the last stitch, i pull it all together and knot the end. I cut the thread and dab it with more cleaning solution.

“Okay, its all done,” i say.

I move and turn away from him for a second. I hear him stand up.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?,” i hear him say.

I turn back around to face him. I don’t know why he’s making me feel so nervous, like I’m a teenager facing my crush in a school hallway.

He’s taking off his jacket and lays it on the chair. The shirt he’s wearing is tight and conforms to his figure. Bits around his neck and armpits have sweat stains. I swallow again, holding back the throbbing thats begun below. He lifts his shirt up and pulls it off. I notice the giant purple and blue blotch that contains the pain he’s feeling. I notice other things that keep my eye focused on him.

His pants have slightly fallen to where i can see his v line leading to something i want so badly right now. What i would give to trace it with my tongue. His body is glistening with sweat in the path of my light.

“Aren’t you gonna come look at it?,” he says as he walks towards me.

He’s borderline on top of me, his broad frame making him seem bigger.

“S-sure,” i say, still not looking up at him.

I put my hands on his side and press around. He groans, not in enough pain to have an injury; just a giant bruise.

“I think you’re okay,” i say.

Im still admiring his body, the ways his muscles contort under his skin and thickness when he moves. My eyes move to his waist and hips, a perfect place for my legs to be wrapped around.

“Actually, i think i have some cuts on my thighs,” he says as he starts undoing his belt.

My insides and clit are throbbing like the beat to a metal song. He takes off his belt and steps out of his pants. I do notice some minor cuts on his thighs, but what i really notice is hard to look away from.

He’s wearing tight, dark blue underwear that conform to his hips and thighs and… him, greatly. Him. His cock is hard and going down his leg, twitching every now and then, like its begging to be emptied inside me. Im sure my face is flushed and my legs are shaking. He wants me to give in and break, but i wont. Not now.

“You should be fine, they’re just little scratches,” i say.

“Hm, maybe you should check my back then.”

He turns around like he knows he’s breaking me. He is, but he doesn’t have to know that. His back. God, his back. It’s sculpted and firm. The muscles he uses to carry me and throw me around like a rag-doll. My eyes move further down to his ass which is being held nicely in the underwear. Theres maybe one tiny scratch on his back.

“Your back is fine,” i tell him.

He turns around to face me. He’s looking at me, pondering whats going through my mind right now. He puts his hand on the desk beside my leg that hes now backed me up onto.

“Let me guess… you don’t want to give in and say that you were looking at my body and all of the dirty things it does to you. You think that you’re stronger than your urges for me and you want to try to make a point?,” he says while looking in my eyes.

Theres the nervousness again. I don’t have to respond, my face says it all. He takes my hand and puts it to his chest and slowly runs it down his body, my fingers pressing into his warm flesh.

He keeps going slowly until he gets to the band of his underwear. He starts to pull down his underwear using our hands. I don’t know how much longer i can take.

My insides are begging me to give up and let him take me but i want to hold out. He pulls his underwear down past his cock and it springs out. He lets out a breathy moan in my ear. He has a drop of pre cum dripping down his tip, still throbbing in sync with my insides. God i cant speak anymore, all i can do is stand here and let out little whines like a dog begging for food. I need the pleasure only he can give.

“Hmm, I’m impressed princess. But we both know you cant handle the way i touch you.”

He runs his nails gently up my thigh, his hand spreading to cup my thigh at the top. I cant break eye contact with his cock. He tilts my chin up to look at him, I’m biting my tongue.

“I know, its hard to not look at. Its big and makes you feel so good doesn’t it? You like the way I throb while I empty myself inside you?,” he says as he tucks my hair behind my ear.

It feels like I can’t breathe. I can’t- i cant do it anymore. I can’t think about anything but having him inside of me, releasing the tension thats built inside me.

“Please..” I whimper.

I run my hands up and down his body.

“Please what?,” he says, his hand going up my back. He moves closer so that his cock is resting on my thigh.

“I need you to- to take me,” i say, unable to form my words right.

“Hmm, i don’t understand?,” he says as he brushes my hair away and starts kissing my neck. “Do you want me baby?,” he whispers in my ear.

Thats it. I wrap my legs and arms around him, grinding onto his leg. He grabs my throat and squeezes.

“Tell me that you want me, get on your fucking knees and beg for me,” he groans. He backs off of me and i get down on my knees. He rubs his tip on my lip and i taste his salty pre cum.

“I want you inside of me,” i hear myself say,” i want to trace the dips of your muscles with my tongue,” i add on, hoping that he’ll give me something that will stop me from soaking my underwear.

He looks down at me and licks his lip. “Then go right ahead.”

Sometimes the way he looks at me, it tells me he could never say no to me. He loves the feeling of my mouth around his cock. You know what? He deserves to be teased too. I don’t take his cock in my mouth. I pull down his underwear and kiss on his thighs leading up to his stomach. I lick a streak up the contour of his v line. I look up and his jaw is tense. I’m getting somewhere.

His hand goes on the back of my head and presses me closer to him. I need him just as badly as he needs me.

“I suggest you put it in your mouth before i shove it in,” he says.

I give into him. I take him in my hand and put his tip in my mouth. I swirl my tongue around it, but i have a different plan. I know where his sensitive spot is. I move underneath his cock where his tip meets his shaft. I gently suck on that and his hands instantly grab onto my head.

“Fuck,” he groans before he pulls my head away entirely. His cock throbs. Guess he couldn’t handle it.

“You couldn’t handle me sucking your cock?,” i say in a tone that will definitely come back to haunt me later.

“Oh ill teach you a lesson on not being able to handle something.” He pulls me up by the throat and takes me to the bed. “You’ve barely seen what my tongue can do to you. I already can make you break so easily. I will end you this time.”

He lays me down and pulls off my underwear, pulling up my shirt enough to expose my breasts. He puts his mouth to my hole and i cant even describe what he does.

He starts to suck and lick and kiss and bite all at once it feels like. The pleasure is so intense my back arches, i grab onto him and try to push him away. He’s holding onto me tightly. I cant get away from him. I shouldn’t have teased him.

My hips squirm without me even trying to. My legs are shaking as he holds them down. The combination of how sensitive my clit is from being so fucking turned on and what he’s doing with his mouth is so intense. Im flooding his mouth and he doesn’t stop, he’ll never stop. Every time i cum i get more and more sensitive.

“Please,” i beg and whimper over and over again.

He keeps going for what feels like forever. I’ve lost count of the orgasms just from his mouth. My body keeps reacting to the movements of his tongue, but i feel like I’m going to pass out again. My tight grip on his hair has gotten to me just resting my hands on his head. My body is aching for more. The muscles in my thighs can’t tighten around his head anymore.

When i stop begging for mercy, he finally stops. His face slick and glistening with my juices. He crawls on top of me and makes me look him in the eye with a firm grip on my chin.

“Do you understand me?,” he asks.

I make out a breathy “yes”. I just realized we haven’t even had sex yet and I’m already so worn out.

“Don’t worry princess, ill be gentle.”

I still want him inside me, i just don’t know how much i can handle. He slides into me and i let out a whine. He pulls up my legs to rest on his shoulders. He holds my hips as he slowly thrusts into me. His mouth falls slightly open as small moans escape from his lips. He brushes my hair behind my ear out of my face.

“I like fucking you in my shirt, you look so pretty and ruined in it.” His thrusts start to speed up little by little.

Soon he starts doing that final thrust that feels incredible. The way he curls his hips just a bit at the end drives me wild. I don’t even care if i cum again tonight, i just want his cum inside me. I crave it.

He kisses me and i taste the blood on his lips. It sounds gross, but it only makes me want him more. Soon we’re wrapped around each other, kissing, sweating, begging for each other. I bite his busted lip and he groans. His cock throbs in me. Maybe he secretly likes pain a little too.

I taste his fresh blood in my mouth. His hand goes around my throat and breaks the kiss. He stops thrusting. He wipes his lip off with his thumb.

“Open your mouth,” he demands.

I open my mouth and he rubs his blood stained thumb on my tongue. Maybe I’m as fucked up as he is. I suck the rest of his blood off. He smiles down at me.

“God you’re a dirty girl aren’t you?”

“Only for you,” i tell him.

He kisses me harshly and starts thrusting even faster. “Dirty girls make me want to fill their insides with my cum.”

Im moaning for him again. “Please cum inside me,” i beg.

“Yeah? You haven’t had a load inside of you in a little while. Maybe thats why you’re so fucking tight around me. Your body wants my cum that bad?” His thrusts are getting sloppy. His moans are getting louder.

I want him to cum so badly. He’s holding onto me so tightly. “God you’re gonna fucking make me cum,” he accidentally whimpers.

He’s never made such a noise but it makes my insides quiver. The vein in his forehead pops out and his jaw tenses. He’s so close. I think i know how to get him to cum.

“Cum inside me daddy,” I whisper in his ear.

He groans and throbs as he finishes in me. I squeeze his cock tightly and milk him dry. He paints my walls with his warm seed until he’s empty. His hand goes around my neck.

“Call me that one more fucking time and ill make it the last thing you say before you get my cock rammed down your throat.” He knows he secretly likes it when i do it.

He pulls out of me and his cum pours out, gushing down my ass and off the bed. He grabs his clothes and puts them back on, wincing if something hits his side.

I slide off of the bed and stand like a newborn deer. My legs are shaking so badly and his cum is still dripping down my leg.

“I have some work to do. Ill come back and see you when I’m done.”

I walk over to him and he holds me up by my waist. He kisses me and i feel like i know what work he has to do. Whether its with that john guy or his police work, he always kisses me like it could be our last.

“Thank you for taking care of me princess. I have one request,” he says.

“What?” He grabs my underwear and hands them to me.

“You put these on and sleep in the mess i made inside you.” I listen to him and put my underwear back on.

“Good girl. I love you,” he says as he puts me in bed and tucks me in before leaving.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i held an intervention for my cousin?

strap in bc this is gonna be long, but first i need to introduce this little cast of characters: I (26f), my sister (23f) and my cousin (22f) are literally the only young ones in my family. my fathers siblings never married, and i have only my mother's sister (50sthF) who has married and also has a kid. so this made us kind of close since we were kids, especially my sister and my cousin (due to their close ages) were always together. we did live far from each other, and could only meet one or two times in a year.

my cousin and my sister have ocd. i have depression. we all have anxieties. my aunt and my mother both have anger issues, so we kind of can guess what kind of house my cousin is living in. and also from what we could see during our short visits. so yeah, we're all fucked up, but ever since i started therapy and forced my sister to go as well, things started to change. my cousin kept making excuses about money issues, and not really needing any therapy, but her ocd started spiraling down very quickly after her cat got sick last year (we'll get to that soon).

so here's where the problem lies: my cousin has ocd, and needs to constantly ask for approval. she also has severe separation anxiety, to the point that she cant even think about a family member or her cat dying. and see, i get that! we also had beloved pets who died and honestly it still fucks us up, but she is getting delusional about it. god forbid we mention that the cat is now an old lady, or say that shes not as sharp/agile as she was before—this makes her cry immediately. also her ocd is very focused on her cat: she thinks she can carry diseases to her cat, she gets hysterical if we change our clothes near the cats bowl, asks everyone repeatedly if sth unrelated might make the cat sick. shes also of the belief that if someone uses an insect spray, then the poison will stay there till she goes to that place and carries the poison to her cat and making her sick. we kept explaining to her that if the sprays would work like that then we wouldnt suffer from a serious ant infestation for the third year in a row, but as it goes with ocd, she just cant accept it. she only believes what her mother says, and well. her mother gets agitated Very Quickly and they start fighting which makes everything worse.

usually id interfere and tell my aunt to just get along with my cousin as shes going through therapy and medication, and i saw it first hand on my sister that it takes time for ocd to get calmer. its not like oh u started therapy? why arent u already performing like a mentally healthy person?? this is what i suffered from when i first started my therapy. but my aunts main issue isnt her ocd. the ocd is par for the course—the main problem is that my cousin never helps around the house.

we knew this, since we have been together forever, that my cousin never works. she complains a lot, even snaps if u ask her to do two things at once (even if its like hey check the kettle and btw put this glass in the sink as well). and my aunt has zero tolerance for her attitude, which leads to her doing the chore herself and well this kind of encourages my cousin to get away from the chores by complaining. she was like this ever since we were KIDS. she'd play with us and make a mess, but when we were supposed to clean everything shed either not do a thing (saying "i dont know how to" even to simple things like put the thing in the basket) or shed just. vanish. whenever we ate lunch or dinner, shed immediately go to the bathroom, and come out after everything was cleaned and washed. and before u say there might be sth else, it really wasnt. she even admitted to it later. she just didnt want to do a single shit. and well, now that shes older, its getting kind of upsetting. whenever she's alone at home she does NOTHING. and when my aunt comes back from her trip SHES the one who has to clean after my cousin, even tho she has just arrived home. this is why no matter how much she asks us to go stay with her when shes alone, we never go. bc we dont want to clean after her. or when she comes over to our house she just. barely does a thing.

this is taking a huge mental and physical toll on my aunt, bc shes physically disabled (severe migraines caused by a bubble in her head, and recently due to her bad workplace her right hand and arm are also not doing well), and even tho she kind of brought this on herself (but indirectly encouraging my cousins behavior), its still really upsetting. whenever we go to their house, my sister and i try to shoulder a part of chores, bc 1) our aunt shouldn't have to do everything by herself and 2) we were taught to help. my parents never had any tolerance for us slacking off.

cut to last week when we went to their house, and it was a huge war zone. my aunt kept shouting at my cousin for things that werent her fault (like her asking for approval or complaining about sth someone did), and on the other hand my cousin kept dodging the chores, and when my aunt asked her to do ONE thing she kept snapping at her and complaining like it was a huge deal (it really wasnt. example: my aunt asked her to put her clothes which she had already folded and put on her bed away. my cousin snapped at her that she would do it and she should get off her back and then kept complaining that her folded clothes arent bothering anyone and she shouldnt be forced to put them away. this is not an exaggeration.) i also realized that part of the problem with their relationship was how my cousin kept complaining about everything to my aunt, which makes my aunt go insane bc she needs a break from the negativity, but my cousin is very clingy and would call her multiple times a day just to bitch about sth. and hey, i also bitch about things to my mother, but i dont call her that much when shes/im away, and also i try to balance it with good fun stories. i know my cousin isnt like having a very bad life, she just likes to complain about everything. but this, coupled with her insistent need for approval, and her clinginess, makes for a bad recipe.

so, when i finally had a private moment with my cousin, i told her that she needs to do chores, and this would do wonders to the current tension! i said this very gently and very quickly bc i didnt want my aunt to overhear us, and my cousin started crying and nodding and said she would try. this made me feel a bit calmer about the whole situation, until the next fucking day when my grandparents came to my aunts house and my cousin, u guessed, did nothing to help my aunt. at one point my sister found her kissing her cat instead of setting the table, and it made us both extremely mad.

i think that gently talking with her wont do good, bc she'd probably do the same thing again. i feel like i need to be more stern and a little bit harsher to hammer the point home, bc apparently she doesnt understand anything unless its shouted at her. im not gonna shame her or anything, im just gonna say that she needs to a) continue her therapy (which she has dropped for 5 months) b) take her pills regularly (which she doesnt) c) enforce a clear boundary between herself and her mother no matter how close they and d) do the chores. if she doesnt do these stuff, then she wont be able to get any sympathy from me, and my sister. also cant complain about it anymore if she's not going to do any fucking thing to improve her situation.

so, wibta?

What are these acronyms?

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

Downloading $200 worth of sims packs at once really makes it hit how little you really get in each pack.

Like. I remember downloading a new expansion in sims 2 and it having the same amount of new content as all the sims 4 packs I just downloaded combined. And like. That was over a decade ago so maybe I'm misremembering but. New packs in sims 2 felt overwhelming cuz of how much new stuff you got. Sims 4 packs are underwhelming as fuck.

Like sims 2 apartment life was the only one I downloaded on its own (all the others were borrowed from my friend and then she bought me apartment life for my birthday (WHICH is a thing thats ALWAYS pissed me off about sims 4. No sharing packs with friends or family. Individual copies for everyone (unless you share an origin/ea account))) and it had so much stuff. AND it let you build your own apartment buildings. AND it came with witches.

So I....acquired all the sims 4 packs

And before I got the new one infants were pretty buggy and my sims would NOT take care of them on their own

And now that I have the new pack they suddenly are

Fucking EA man

[foxboyclit]

im coming up on my 2 year t-aversarry so here's some assorted feelings on that (put under a cut because i didnt expect it to get this long oops)

first off, im hoping i don't get sick again so i can actually have a tea party to celebrate. even if its a little after the actual date i wanna do something

it looks like i cant grow anything more than some light whiskers but i never wanted a huge lumberjack beard anyway and i still get to shave regularly which is very euphoric. im a little disappointed though because ive always wanted a full beard

body hairs been really good though! its filled out nicely on my arms and legs and i have a full happy trail i am so so happy about that

my doctor said she noticed my shoulders had gotten more broad, which ive heard wasn't possible but apparently it is! and i see it myself too. she said i have more of an inverted triangle shape now, and it makes sense because ive noticed my hips shrink significantly. now apparently i wasn't very curvy to begin with but dysphoria makes me see things that aren't as prominent i guess

its also almost a year since my period stopped and i feel so much better having my emotions and energy levels at a constant state. i never have to think about whether i forgot to bring pads i haven't had cramps in MONTHS it's wonderful. i will say, ive noticed cis women are more comfortable talking about their periods around me and it's a mixed bag of emotions. im glad i give off that vibe that it's okay to talk about it but i feel bad saying "yeah im glad mine stopped" or "this is what i used to go through" which is the most i can relate to now so im kind of...sad? to not be able to talk about it? but also when i did menstruate i hated talking about it to anyone other than like. two specific people. idk

my voice is leveling out more, it still cracks but not as much as it did i feel like just a few months ago? still not where i want it but im getting closer and i love when my voice cooperates and is deeper without those cracks. ive gotten compliments on my voice too when i use my lower register! idk if the majority of people read it as masculine or even androgynous but i like compliments

still getting constantly misgendered, no matter what im wearing but im used to it. at least all my family, friends and coworkers respect my pronouns

ive been dressing a lot more feminine than i anticipated. but im having fun with it! its okay if im actually more feminine presenting than fluid like i previously thought. but also i could have another big swing in the opposite direction. i feel comfortable and stylish either way so im welcoming whatever changes

the gender fuckery of facial hair, flat chest and skirt has been *chefs kiss*

my t levels are on par with cis men! just knowing that makes me smile. estrogen is still high but it wasnt a concern with the doctor so im mostly okay with it

my libidos leveled out nicely, it's still a lot higher than before t but its not as intense as when i first started. adjusting to it has been pretty easy and im happy with where it currently sits.

body acne has mostly gone away! and i haven't had any massive breakouts or changes in my skin!

i swear to god i went down at least a cup size. its been waiting for the right time to pursue top surgery a hell of a lot easier. i always felt like if i had a smaller chest i wouldnt necessarily need top surgery, and i still want it but im more content with my chest now

i think all in all ive had to adjust my expectations for how id look by now, maybe its the dosage or genetics or aforementioned high estrogen or it just hasn't been long enough but i always expected to look more masculine this far in. it's still something i have to deal with from time to time but ultimately im happy with my body and im more okay taking this slowly than i anticipated

i dont have a conclusion for this other than wow. testosterone is one hell of a drug

[toestalucia]

HELLO chichiri stuff cuz the chichir & captain parts got me raauughhh

Chichiri: I'm ready for your lessons, Captain! En garde! Bursting into a huge grin, Chichiri swings her twin burning axes at the captain. Captain scrambles to get into stance, daunted by the girl's domineering smirk and steely eyes.

Captain reckons the might of the blow is akin to a cannonball demolishing a fortress wall. Rather, it's on par with a swing from a giant primal beast. Captain shivers, understanding full well that had the parry failed, Chichiri's attack would've ended their spar instantly. However, the impact from simply blocking Chichiri's strikes rattles the captain's bones and organs, and the damage begins to pile up. Chichiri: Where could your weak point be hiding? Over here? Chichiri tosses her axes upward, drawing Captain's attention. As the axes spin, she closes in and jabs one of Captain's pressure points, grinning all the while. A sharp pain, as if having been stabbed by a knife, rips through Captain's body, causing muscles to contract.

Chichiri: Haha! I knew that wouldn't be enough. However, Captain drops stance and pleads for the sparring to end. Chichiri: Why? Vyrn: This fight's gonna get way out of hand if it continues! Lyria: That's right! It's not even training anymore! Someone's going to get hurt… Chichiri: B-but Captain's way stronger than me. All I wanted was to see if I could pick up a few pointers. One of Captain's hunches has been proven correct. Chichiri doesn't need anymore practice; she's already massively powerful.

DUDE THIS PARTTTTT chichiris lack of confidence in her own skill due to the Circumstances when shes ridiculously strong is ssoooooo...chichiri who wants to learn things cuz she thinks she's lacking but its closer to a fight to death -> theres nothing to learn in that....... i need the cardinal saints in a serious fighting event NOWWWWWWWWW

Chichiri: Sniff… Yeah, I know… It's stupid to be afraid. Choice: No, it's not.

thinks about shieldsworn where volenna speaks about how both sides are scared,,,,,thinking about how i feel grans still scared of hydras,,,,,,,,,

Choice: See? Nothing wrong with being afraid. Vyrn: Captain was shakin' like crazy when you two were sparring. Chichiri: Toughy-woughy Captain? No way… The captain confirms how nerve-racking fighting Chichiri had been, for any slip in concentration on the captain's part would've spelled doom. Vyrn: Our crew's tackled boatloads of crazy baddies, and anyone who says they ain't scared is a liar. Chichiri: Is that so… Then why keep fighting if you're scared? Lyria: To protect what's important.

THINKS ABOUT MAIN QUEST THINKS ABOUT MAIN QUEST THINKS ABOUT MAIN QUEST but ugh;_; i think shes so great. if i had a cent for each pink-haired girlie who made me cry because of something her grampa did id have two cents. i still have the last 2 to read but thats for tmrw if i have the time, then its ami time

[neopronouns]

hello Dexter Neopronouns we are Radio Radiomogai we had our wisdom teeth removed so kinda loopy but love your blog so so so much like. you’ve been here so long like you’re someone else who’s been here for so long. AND YOURE STILL HERE isn’t it so cool to have watched MOGAI grow and change it makes us so emotional. and your blog is so so so cool and sometimes we’re archiving terms you made years ago and it’s so cool to have seen your coining grow and change and i’m so emotional over this. hi how’re you. love your blog mwah hi Dexter

okay normally i don't answer nice asks bc i like to store them in my little inbox hoard but this one made me just

[image id: the 'powercry' meme, which is two side-by-side hand-drawn yellow emoji faces with shaky outlines. the left one is crying with its mouth open wide and the right one has very large, shiny eyes like it's about to cry. end id]

like YEAH we've been here for so long and it's been so amazing to watch the community grow and change!! i've watched probably hundreds of people coin thousands of terms over the last five years, coining entirely new categories of gender and orientation and identity, creating things just for the fun of it or because they've been seeking a label for years or because they want to help someone else find themselves and UGH it makes me emotional

and whenever you or another archival blog reblogs one of my older coins i always go back and look at it and smile because like. yeah a lot of my older flags aren't up to par with my current work and yeah a lot of those terms aren't really used by people, but that doesn't matter. i remember how much fun i had coining them and how happy i was to even get 5 notes and it just brings me joy

like, i reached adulthood and started college and got my first real job and came out to my mom and did so much shit while in the mogai community. it's made me happier and more confident and so, so much more comfortable with myself. and the community has changed and grown around me! at this point it almost feels like an old friend, like someone i grew up alongside and i remember when they were young and still learning and now i get to see them all grown up

ANYWAYS i could go on forever but. mogai community good. i will stay here forever. also i love your blog and everything you do for the community <3

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

do u ever think how in life we are told to aim for so much success and reach our full potential but then every other average person including celebs, idols etc etc are or have already done so, so why should we also need so much wealth or why should we need to put ourselves out there.

im constantly torn between wanting a simple affordable life that id be happy with maybe in the countryside (but its not affordable nowadays to live simply we still have to slave away) and the other side is that i have a need to constantly prove myself and to gain some type of recognition cause we are always told from kids to aim for the top paying jobs etc etc, most of that is what celebs have or do. i mean it cant always be that great what do rich ppl keep buying for each other dont they run out of things to own eventually cause they already own most rich people items?

fair enough if celebs and idols have talents but i dont im not even remotely pretty enough to do whatever it is they do but again its alwayd the what if i wouldve done things differently, maybe it would feel less narcissitic to want a bit of what celebs have if i already had done something differently yonks ago

the other issue is i no longer feel so attached to society if at all like i dont care to succeed i dont care to fail, im neither fussed if im alive or dead it just dont matter to me anymore, in the end the only thing thats going to happen is i will eventually pass away so no ones exactly going to miss me even in death or heaven as people still have their own lives i wouldnt or havent been anyone special at all

its almost saying how it only matters if its someone rich and famous so we have to be a somebody in order to be remembered otherwise we generally end up being a nobody as it is the way the internet goes into meltdown when celebs pass away as if it wasnt to be expected at some point. but if we arent on social media or we dont have a following we honestly do not matter even if we dont have partners or social group either like im so irrelevant no one gonna notice bar immediate family if i stop existing rofl

the way we have to do everything via a screen and screens are everywhere doesnt help me at all cause i feel further distanced from folk and like i dont belong, i dont need nor want a following but its almost being forced on all of us like people.

even idols cant do anything without needing to show their fans but the idols wouldnt notice every single fan to ever exist would they? all the interactions with celebs that fans have is always monentary or beifly. stays even treat bangchan like a long term permenanttherapist friend. yet neither if them truly know one another, so why do we get so attached to the idea of having thoughts and feelings towards someone whos never going to know us so again it dont matter if we do or dont exist as long as these idols and celebs briefly have enough fame for them to get by

but then what am i someone who just does nothing for a living cause i dont want what others want out of life if that makes sense? i either end up feeling like im from the wrong era dont belong with my generation dont belong with next generations would probably have preferred being in previous generations when things were simpler and affordable

sorry if this ask is a bit morbid, nihilistic or pessimistic i have so many mixed thoughts and feelings about existing lately what do you think? i mean obviously there is much narcissism in the world as it is so wouldnt we just be adding to it? am i just having nearly mid life crisis early? idfk anymore

Honestly people tell you to aim high because not only is it the best way to survive, but also because you can easily improve things. Many people who’ve done a lot were considered sub par, and the main reason they did was pure spite to the people who looked down on them and had more, and then they eventually became those people. It’s a cycle, and it’s human nature. And in this society, whether we like it or not, only the successful can truly be sure they can make it. Even middle-class families can easily crash and burn in the blink of an eye with losing their job and end up without anything to eat. But the successful don’t really have to worry about that, because they have a lot to fall back on. Things are also getting more and more expensive, and only the wealthy can really keep up with that. It’s sad, but reality.

And yeah, I think fans put so much pressure on idols because they’re just that. Idols. They idolize them and see them as these perfect beings far above any and everything, and they delude themselves into thinking they can be with them one day. So if an idol makes one wrong move, or dates someone, that false image comes crashing down. You don’t see that in the west simply because we don’t idolize celebrities to that same capacity. To us they’re not necessarily idols, and they’re much more open about their humanity.

[odysseys-blood]

im still mad so im gonna talk about it. so today i had an interview right? my sister asked her friend abt some jobs bc im struggling to find one that wont make me suicidal within a week (looks at retail/food service) and so she got back to me like hey just send your resume in they're hirin on the spot!

so im like ok sounds a lil iffy but i'll do that! send it in friday, get an email back saturday that its for a teaching position and an inteview time. im like mmmm :l not my. forte at all but from looking at the company its just a little community outreach program with an after school program if im just working an after school thing it shouldnt be that bad right?

wrong.

what theyre ACTUALLY hiring for is for people to do independent contractor teaching. for anywhere between $20-$240 a day i'd have to drive out an hour+ to go to whatever school they send me to and teach for 5 hours (knowing i have no experience teaching+was not an education major theyre literally just hiring cause i have an art degree). in addition to that id have to have a 6-9 week lesson plan ready if they go through with hiring me. i dont know how to do that and im not gonna learn either. the pay range is so sketch that im not surprised theres no teachers but we're really just shoehorning anyone in huh? i dont feel like thats fair to me and other individuals that sign up and its not fair to the kids either who would be getting a sub-par education.

[justalia]

hi queen! i was wondering if u could help me out.

i have been following LOA twitter since like nov but i have known abt LOA longer, however i only learned states with LOA twitter and neville + ed art. i truly love learning abt this stuff and hearing neville and ed's words. ive gotten some success but it just feels like i dont get anything noteworthy?

for ex. i got the job i wanted but i almost feel like i would have gotten it anyway. i manifested 10k somehow buttt it was my parents gifting it to me (unexpected they dont give me shit) but im not even counting it bc its in an investment account i cant touch

i had my worst college sem and got B's which i never get.

i prev manifested a good friendship with my friend who we were on and off but we just had our biggest fight yet.

my sp is still w a 3p + i feel not up to par applying for medical school

i feel like i see so many ppl applying this stuff and getting amazing grades, the sp, and their dream life in like weeks but lately, i just feel incompetent and like everything i touch is exploding in my face. sometimes i feel dumb bc im like am i just wasting my time reading abt this stuff when i could be taking fr action to better my life? its like ive been caught up in this daydream and im yet to see harvest. i fulfill myself with inner convos + feelings but for each success, i can also recall several failures. it rly feels like the only successes are getting is stuff that could have happened anyway when i want like the huge omg my life is objectively better bc of this type shit. i am so scared i am just wasting time and that's why my professional life is going down the hill for the first time ever. before id always be brilliant even if my relationships were trash lol. i guess my biggest question is where am i going wrong, how do i increase my faith in the process when i am getting mid results LOL

manifestation coming true in the outer world is supposed to feel like “it would’ve happened either way” bc it is natural, it’s how the world works.

i feel like you’re undermining yourself and dismissing the successes you got, stop undervaluing yourself and just apply.

imagine EXACTLY what you want i don’t care how impossible it may feel. imagine what you truly want, not what you think you should want.

[jayextee]

RAGE 2

In a turn of events that will shock and appal anybody who knows me personally, I'm in love with a polarising game.

"In love" is too strong a term, perhaps. The thing is, every 'RAGE 2 is shit' take I see on the Internet, the harder I wanna double-down on being a fan of this game. And its prequel, yes, I am one of the three who love it.

What we have here though, is an awkward marriage between Avalanche Studios' openworld design a la the excellent Mad Max and id Software's trademark (if you ignore DOOM 3, as I often do) brand of satisfying shootybangs. It works as much as it doesn't, so I'm gonna go through the good, the bad, and the ugly right here.

The Good

Oh for crying out loud, RAGE 2 is a beautiful game. Although sadly lacking some of the stylisation of the original game (which reminded me personally of those late '90s fully-painted 2000AD strips and covers, niiiiice...) but now we have colour! And absolutely oodles of the stuff, including my beloved pink; used to great effect to draw attention to and highlight important interactables or areas. This lends itself to a visual clarity that supplants the gunplay excellently.

And of the gunplay, oh, I have some words. They're all good words. RAGE was no sloucher in this department itself, so build upon that absolutely solid base with a bunch of Nanotrite-fuelled abilities to spice up battlefield agility and strategy and we have ourselves one hell of a fun time. Even the vehicular combat has seen a welcome shot in the arm, although it's not quite as satisfying as that seen in Mad Max, it's still pretty fun to take down the endlessly-respawning convoys across the wasteland.

The Bad

That aforementioned wasteland. 'Waste' is indeed the operative term there; for there's a lot of empty space. Now, I don't play a lot of openworld games at all (RAGE, Mad Max, and the Arkham games are basically my entire diet) so this could be par for the course. But so much of it's just

s t r e t c h e d - o u t

and lulls between that satisfying gunplay can be pretty large sometimes. Especially stings when engaging with the openworld is pretty much the meat of the game's filler content, even when playing for a minimal 'see the ending' run.

This is lessened somewhat with certain lategame vehicles (I'd have gone insane were it not for the Icarus, I tells ya) but still. Look, I've already said I like this game a lot, are you expecting a whole itinerary of complaints here?

The Ugly

Not literally ugly, as this is a great-looking game through and through. But there are bugs. Ragdoll bugs, floating prop bugs, frozen physics object bugs, enemies stomping the player through the floor bugs, invisible NPC bugs; even a particularly-heinous game-breaker that can happen literally as the final mission is supposed to trigger that so far, fingers crossed, I've managed to avoid on both a casual playthrough and a completionist one. But hey, I guess this is technically A Bethesda Game™ and I gather that pretty much goes with the territory at this point.

Also it's worth noting that the game fucking loves the Cyber-Crusher boss and there are a few of those. They don't get any more difficult each time either, it's just the one boss again. And again. And so forth.

Conclusion

It's good! I like it a lot! Even love, to spite The Internet in general because I love to cheer on any underdog I see; imagined or otherwise. It's got some flaws but I was very much willing to overlook these things for a game that, although I couldn't say was unilaterally-superior to its prequel, does nonetheless take some steps to improve upon it. And it has a proper final boss encounter as well, instead of, well, just a room that the original game had.

Unpopular opinion maybe, I wish they'd do a third. 4/5

[nebuvoid]

also also as much as people claim kishimotos women writing isnt rooted in misogyny. i think. well. im just sorting my thoughts here honestly i havent reread enough to make a proper post for this yet. but like lets just look at what we got:

sakura - written as annoying girl on purpose. not allowed to grow ever. no backstory, no red thread besides 'fangirl loves sasuke'

tsunade - well written but also despite being middle aged she has to be youthful and hot. arguably the only plot relevant woman and its the one with big bazongas

anko - pushed aside even though she couldve been relevant for sasuke. do we even see her after part1?

konan - somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. or lake i dont remember. yes the akatsuki are all killed but her death feels particularly undignified

kurenai - supposedly incredible at genjutsu yet its only used to belittle her next to itachi. pregnant and never seen again after.. sorry girl youre a mom now no more personality for you. not that there was much to begin with

shizune - tsunades faithful sidekick. nothing bad i can think of rn. has a pig very epic.

hinata - written as annoying girl on purpose 2! has very intriguing backstory that is shoved aside

tenten - who?

tayuya - dies as a one dimensional villain (as do her comrades)

miss orochimaru - pedocoded

karin - written as annoying girl on purpose 3! and like sakura has moments that imply change is possible only to fullstop. though at least karin has a supporting backstory that explains why shes Like That

shiho (thats the one that looks like ino with glasses) - instant crush on shikamaru for no reason

fuu - dead

ayame - ultra side character. she serves ramen. thats it

that sound girl in the forest of death - only serves to humiliate sakura for having long hair. while she has long hair

mito - only known as a jinchuu and hashiramas wife

mikoto - housewife even though she was a skilled ninja. one could argue she choose that out of love but objectively its still sorry girl youre a mom now thats it for you. but she had personality

chiyo - flawed character with story. allowed to be old even! dies

temari - written like a regular character. thumbs up

mei terumi - OHHH IM A GIRL WITH BIG HONKERS AND NOT MARRIED BOOHOO. cheap writing

yugito - dead

ino - her writing is okay..i guess... but often shown as shallow even though it makes no sense because her father is T&A

kushina - id say her writing is mostly on par with tsunade? from memory only though so what do i know. was clearly being setup for the housewife sentence if she didnt die though

rin - only existed for the plot

hanabi - shes. fine? idr

in conclusion: no kishimoto doesnt outright go and say EW ALL GIRLS HAVE COOTIES AND ARE INHERENTLY BENEATH THE MEN but like cmon. almost always sidelining female characters certainly isnt a good look. out of all of these the only ones i would title as 'well written' aka written like actual people would be tsunade, konan, chiyo, temari, kushina. big tits, dead, dead, married into housewife (though i dont really count boruto), dead

👍

[dessa-banks]

29 for the ao3 wrapped my beloved

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

I'm gonna be honest, this answer kinda got away from me :P I started making a list of my favourite lines from each fic, to help me choose,,, and now I can't choose. So instead I'm gonna choose one line/passage from every single fic I wrote this year :D I've split it into sections based on where I've posted the fic, to make it easier to read. If I had to choose one favourite, though... probably the first one in the list? I did my first fic rewrite this year and I think it went really well, so :P

Posted on AO3 (Suntooth)

He gazes up at the bedrock ceiling above him as he falls ever-faster through the Void, shimmering black stardust clinging to his arms as he reaches up and tries to touch the stars. (Ashes to ashes, dust to dust [REWRITTEN])

But denial is the strongest drug, and they act as if everything is okay. (iscariot, you fool)

A mass of vile soot, black, and eyes of Void / A mean, obscene creation; curséd soul / Its half-lid blinks keep time with hearts, so run! / Abscond, escape, evade, avoid its gaze. (putting pen to paper)

Even when the moon burned magenta in the sky and the wings on Grian's back changed from parrot to purple, he figured it was fine. (Meet Me In The Woods)

"We could prank him :3" Pearl said, a hint of mischief in her voice. (Grian was tired enough to not question how she'd said :3 out loud. It was par for the course with Pearl.) (Family)

"Iskall, you could not have done anything about a moon. You can't change what happened, no matter how much you want to, and all you can do now is live. For them. Okay?" (Verklempt)

Posted on AO3 (lopsidedhead)

It was buried underneath the residual panic and the numbness of his hands that had been clutching the bucket of lava, but it was like... it was like a deep instinctual pull, like a thread being pulled on, towards something, something he instinctively knew was a person, and the desire to maim. (There's Something In The Water)

His hands itched with the pins-and-needles heat of the curse, head full of burning cotton wool, and killing would be the remedy. (Until It Doesn't Hurt)

Ides cracked his eyes open, a dark film over his vision as he squinted at the ever-bright stars that glittered and swirled around his body. Tendrils of the deepest black were fixed around his legs as he floated in Void, although he felt nothing. (the light at the end of the tunnel (is sometimes the train))

The world is crumbling a hundred blocks or so away, trees disappearing into the aether as the world prepares to implode into itself, making way for the next iteration. In any other context, it would’ve been beautiful. (In Memoriam)

Not on AO3

You will never take me again. And if I have anything to do with it, you will not take my friends again either. You will not hurt innocent players any longer. Fuck you. (Dear Wormwood)

"Bad dream?" Ides whispered, and Lops only nodded in return, almost purring as Ides reached up and gently ran a hand through his hair. "It's okay. I'm here." (This Love)

He’s a completely normal human who just happens to need charging every night! And, of course, has Watcher powers, like every normal human. (Cysur Cyffur)

Maybe in some deep part of their minds, they truly hoped that they would win, together. Like intact glass in a tornado, unbroken despite the horrifying odds. (Bitter Water)

Unreleased (for right now) :3

The ice-cold Void scorched Ides’ lungs, and yet he still breathed in, pulling it into himself, wrapping his entire being in darkness. (Vide Noir)

Act cool, Johnnie.

“Hands off, bub!”

Great start. Not. Now he’s gonna hate you!

(Untitled WIP fic)

This got way too long LMAO

[inazumaeveryday]

Day 13

At home

Kidou: Good morning, mar.

We’re playing against Biyuutei in the semi-finals of the regional qualifiers today.

Option 1

mar: It’ll be a piece of cake for you guys!

Kidou: Obviously. You can look forward to it.

Option 2

mar: Don’t let your guard down!

Kidou: Yeah, don’t worry.

Kidou: None of us in Teikoku have any intention of losing focus until our victory is assured.

Hakamada: Yuuto-sama, I found your student ID card in the hallway. You must have dropped it. Here you go.

Kidou: …………

Kidou: Focus!

*

Kidou: I can’t believe Endou told me I’m an idiot too…

No, wait. It must’ve been a dream.

Breakfast

Kidou: The match is this afternoon.

I shouldn’t eat too much… I need to be in top shape for morning practice.

Kidou’s room

Kidou: Alright… I’m sure I’ve got everything.

Are you ready to go too, mar?

In the car

Kidou: Biyuutei is not a weak team by any means. They’ve made it to the semi-finals, after all.

But they’re no match for Teikoku. They’re nowhere near being strong enough to compete with us.

Morning practice

Doumen: Biyuutei’s players kind of have a visual kei vibe~

Narukami: You think? But they don’t really look like they play music though.

I’d say they’re more like…

Kidou: Everyone, listen up. I’ll go over today’s training menu and the formation we’ll use in the match.

Doumen&Narukami: Okay!

At school

Class (Japanese)

Kidou: We’re going to manipulate the original copy of some historical works of literature today.

I’ll be wearing gloves, but I’m still nervous…

Break

Kidou: mar, how do you like studying at Teikoku? Are you starting to become familiar with everything?

I’m getting used to being with you too.

If you still have any questions, you can ask me.

Option 1

mar: I want to know more about your goggles!

Kidou: Oh, these? You could say it’s a kind of training to improve concentration.

When I put the goggles on, I can see the important parts of the game with more depth than I normally would.

For example, I can even predict where the ball is going to land.

I’m essentially intentionally limiting my field of vision to be able to visualize the entire playing field.

I’ve gotten so used to wearing them that I feel uneasy if I don’t have them on now.

Option 2

mar: I want to know more about your cape!

Kidou: Oh, my cape?

I just like the color red.

Wearing this cape fires me up. I feel like it boosts my fighting spirit.

Kidou: Well, I wasn’t expecting you to ask about simple things like this… But what do you think?

This cape and these goggles are like my trademark now.

Hehe… the captain of Teikoku is easily recognizable, isn’t he?

*

Kidou: I’m counting on you for today’s match, Gojou.

Gojou: Kukuku… Just leave it to me. I’ll crush them.

Kidou: Heh, alright.

Class (PE)

Kidou: When we first started doing clay target shooting, I could barely hit anything…

Now I can shoot the targets about 90% of the time.

The point system we use in class makes it easy to actually see how much progress we’ve made since the beginning.

Break

Sakuma: Kidou, we still can’t use Koutei Penguin no.2 in today’s match, can we…?

Kidou: Sorry, we still can’t use it yet.

Sakuma: Ugh... Alright. I want to be able to use it already, but I get it.

Class (math)

Kidou: Japan apparently had its own distinct kind of mathematics in the past.

People back then must have developed calculation skills on par with Western mathematics.

Break

Kidou: Banjou, your hair is so smooth and silky. The way it shines in the light makes it look like you have a halo… It’s beautiful.[1]

Banjou: Thank you so much… I’m very proud of it.

Kidou: It’s a shame that using Cyclone messes it up so much…

How about keeping the axis of your body in mind when you make that kick? It might even make it more powerful, too.

Banjou: I see… I’ll keep it in mind.

Class (English)

Kidou: We’re translating manga into English today.

If it’s a soccer manga… I’m confident I can translate everything perfectly without having to look anything up.

Lunch

Kidou: Genda, are you really fine eating that much right before the match?

Genda: Oh, don’t worry about it! I need to eat at least that much so I’m filled with energy. Anything less and I won’t be able to bring out my full strength!

Actually, Kidou, is it really okay for you to eat so little? Shouldn’t you eat more than that?

Kidou: …No, I’ll pass on that. I’m fine.

On the way to Biyuutei

Kageyama: This is the semi-finals of the regional qualifiers… Against Biyuutei, dominating the game should be an easy task for you all.

Show yourselves worthy of Teikoku’s name. Bring me an absolute victory.

Team: Yes, sir!

Kidou: The commander’s words always boost the team’s morale.

Just take a look at everyone’s faces. Don’t they look filled with confidence now?

Biyuutei[2]

Genda: What’s with that smell…?

Sakuma: Is it… perfume?

Kidou: I’ve heard some pro soccer players wear perfume, but…

Augh, it stinks.

Lucy: Oh my gosh, no way~! Is this caped four-eyes for real? You clearly don't know the first thing about etiquette!

Kidou: Hmph. You’re quite rude yourself.

Lucy: Oh? Wait, actually? Now that I’m looking a bit more closely…

You, are you actually a hottie? Come on, won’t you take off those glasses? Let me take a look at your face~

Kidou: Don’t touch me.

Doumen: Uegh~ All that perfume they’re wearing is making me sick… There’s such a thing as too much, you know~?

Henmi: How do you even concentrate with that smell… Maybe that’s actually why Ooedo lost to these guys?

David: How dare you! If you play with fire… you’ll get burned, you know!

Sakiyama: Hah! Burned? Are you kidding? As if you could even make us sweat!

Kidou: Heh… Don’t get into a fight now. Just show him during the match.

*

Kidou: I definitely won’t go easy on them this time.

During the match

mar: (What should I say…)

Option 1

mar: Yuuto-kun, do your best!

Kidou: Oh? They’re marking me…

Option 2

mar: Everyone, do your best!

Kidou: Well? What happened to burning us? I’m not feeling any heat!

*

mar: (What should I do? Biyuutei’s falling apart…!)

Option 1

mar: I’ve had enough… They don’t need to go that far…

Kidou: Heh… We’re done playing around now.

Option 2

mar: ............

Kidou: They’re the ones who got burned, in the end.

After the match

Kidou: The semi-finals are done! It’s finally time for the finals!

Genda: Those guys from Biyuutei worked harder than I thought in the first half. I didn’t expect them to put in that much effort.

Sakuma: Yeah… Looks like their strategy was to focus on Kidou and have several of their players mark him. Can’t say that really worked for them, though.

Kidou: There’s no way something like that would stop me.

Henmi: We still won, but… I don’t know how to feel about a sickening game like that.

Doumen: Oh, I just remembered… I swear, these guys kept talking about “glasses” this and “glasses” that! What’s with that?

Kidou: They must have been talking about Gojou.

Banjou: Now that you mention it… One of the guys from Biyuutei told me to give his contact information to “the guy with glasses”...

Gojou: Kukuku… So they’re trying to recruit me? I might be in trouble.

Kidou: Hehe…[3]

Club activities

Kidou: Looks like Occult lost to Shuuyou Meito.

Genda: Occult lost…?

Sakuma: But didn’t they train really hard after losing against Raimon?

I’m sure I read that they got significantly stronger after that…

Doumen: This is the first time I hear about Shuuyou Meito even having a soccer club!

Genda: It’s just like when we played against Raimon… We don’t have any information on this team at all.

Jimon: Raimon versus Shuuyou Meito, huh…

This year’s competition is one unexpected turn of events after another. We keep getting blindsided by first-timers.

Kidou: And Gouenji won’t be able to play since he’s injured.

I can’t say I know a lot about Shuuyou Meito, but can Raimon really beat them without their ace striker…?

In the car

Kidou: It’s been a long day… I’m a little tired.

I don’t have lessons with Kyougoku-sensei today, so I’ll just take it easy and rest…

At home

Kidou: Oh, I know. I’ll get a sports massage today.

The therapist I usually see is a former pro soccer player. He’s really good at what he does.

In the bath

Kidou: Sigh… Next, the finals…

Well, it’s only the finals of the regional qualifiers, though…

Kidou’s room

Kidou: I’ll be getting a massage later.

I’ll ask to make it as thorough as possible.

Later

Kidou: Beautiful lady? It feels a little like your heart is squeezing in pain…?

No… Not now. Well, alright, I got it… Bye.

…………

Kidou: Oh, hey. I feel so much better after getting that massage.

mar: (I’ve never heard Yuuto-kun say that kind of thing before…!)

Option 1

mar: Were you giving relationship advice to someone?

Kidou: …Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t have time for things like that.

Option 2

mar: Was it a love confession?

Kidou: …Sorry you had to hear that.

Kidou: It was actually Domon calling me to report on what Raimon did today.

They went to scout out Shuuyou Meito before their next match. Apparently, they hang out at some weird place called a maid café…

He was saying I absolutely had to go there at least once. I guess I’ll pay it a visit if I get the chance…

Now, back to what I was doing… I’ve been watching one of Shuuyou Meito’s previous games, but they don’t seem particularly motivated so far…

Hm? This is…

They’re cheating…! This team’s success in the tournament is a sick joke.

I don’t want Raimon to lose to guys who won’t play fair and square…!

…Not that I can waste time worrying about them. We have a test coming up.

How do you feel, mar? Confident you’ll do well?

If you’re not feeling fully ready for it, I can help you study.

I feel a little responsible since I’ve been dragging you all over for the past few days, so I’ll make an exception just this once.

I’m a strict teacher though, so you’d better brace yourself.

*

Kidou: Alright, time to sleep.

Goodnight, mar.

At night…

Kidou: …………

…the test…about…

I'm not sure if this is clear, but he's saying the shine of Banjou's hair forming a ring around his head looks like a halo. Like this! (click for a photo of it)

Biyuutei sounds like "beauty"

If it's not clear, the guy with glasses in question here is actually Kidou haha