#so its nice that i can just go to Walmart without taking 3 hours

[rememberedbyamark]

Finally in my new home. I'm feeling so normal and fine about all of this btw

[grillsadvisor]

Best Grills Under $400! [ Wood Pellet, Charcoal, Propane Gas ]

We decided to test all of the best grills under $400 and find the best one for you. After hours of research and testing, we came up with a list of our top 6 favorite grills for this year. Looking For the Best Grills Under $400? Here Are Some Features to Consider - Temperature range: Ideally, you want your grill to reach temperatures between 200-500°F. This allows for low and slow cooking, as well as high-searing heat for those perfect grill marks. - Ignition type: Look at the ignition system of your grill. Make sure it's easy to light and reliable so that you can get cooking without any issues or hassle. - Cooking area: The size of the grilling surface makes a difference in how many burgers or hot dogs you can make all at once. Choose a model with enough space for all your food needs. - Fuel type: Do you prefer charcoal grilling or gas? Different fuel types have different pros and cons, so decide what works best for you before making your purchase. Top 3 grills under $400 on 2023 Best outdoor grills under $400 The best pellet grill under $400 Z GRILLS ZPG 550B Review https://youtu.be/vrC-aswbuMU The best portable wood pellet grill under $400 The best  kamado ceramic grill under $400 Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Charcoal Grill FAQ   Welcome back to Little Pig Barbeque! Today we're reviewing one of my favorite grills, the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado. This grill is perfect for those who love BBQ but want an easier and quicker cooking experience without sacrificing flavor or quality ingredients that can't wait around on your smoker (darned thing). We'll be getting into all sorts of stuff today so stay tuned if you've got some time constraints like me or just need something simple in order to get dinner started quickly. If you're in the market for a Kamado-style cooker, whether it be big or small and you don't want to spend too much money on them. This video is perfect then because I am going over some of my favorite affordable alternatives that will get your mouth watering while cooking delicious food without breaking anyone's bank account. You've got to see this! Come with me, I'll show you how great these grills can cook. The Char-Griller Akorn is our pick of the day and it won't be long before your mouth water from all that juicy goodness coming off a cooked meal onto one's plate.  This isn't a new cooker; it's been out for several years. There is plenty of information on the internet, YouTube, and Google about this product so you know all there is to learn before making your purchase decision. So, I'm not going to tell you anything new that can't already be found on the internet. But let me give a quick run-through of why this product may very well become your favorite Kamado. This cooker is not your average ceramic-style pot, it’s metal It has double-wall insulation to keep food warm, and an air gap all around its top & bottom which means it will be able to hold onto heat better than most other pots out there. The Weber gas grill is a great starter product, but I have found that the Akorn brand provides better performance. This one holds my food at just about perfect temperature and it's very easy to use. This grill has a ton of features! I'm just going to take you through some that really caught my eye. The cheap and easy way to get a great backyard grill is by going with this cooker. You can find it at Walmart, Lowe's Home Depot, or anywhere else for under $300. Anyway, let's get into this first thing. You'll notice you got these nice side tables here - they're very nifty indeed. I've had pork on my previous visits with no issues at all; everything has been stable and easily stored when not in use (both of 'em fold down for storage). With the tables down, you can slide this into a small space. It works perfectly. Here, it has some hooks for your tools which is a nice feature. Use that often for my tongs and even the grill brush or grapefruit scrubber! So far this product works perfectly as advertised - no complaints from me. The wheels on this grill are not anything special, but they get the job done. There are two LA-style front wheels and then you have a swivel castor with an unlockable back tire for added portability. This thing is so easy to control with one hand. There's no problem going in any direction you want, and it feels really stable. The bottom of this handsome barbecue has a shelf that's perfect for holding your heat deflector or charcoal when grilling. If you want, it can be used as an extension to reach ingredients. The temperature control is so easy. For controlling your temperature, you got this nice sliding vent. Just like an oven, you have a dial with numbers on it that lets your cook know what setting they need to use for their dish - whether it's low heat or high. If you're smoking at around 225-250, it's going to be about 1. And that leaves a very narrow gap for your airflow there. The dial on this thing is really easy to adjust and understand, which makes cooking with it a breeze. You can set the temperature quickly without getting lost in all those numbers. The grill is perfect for those who want to cook at precise temperatures. It won't fluctuate more than 10 degrees all day long, so you can be sure your food will always stay warm or hot.  Well, this grill gets up to 700 degrees on the thermometer. I've had it pegged out just playing around with fire: no problem at all! One chimney of lump charcoal will reach that temperature before you know what's happening (700). You can get a really nice sear on food with high heat, but it's not necessary for most other cooking methods. I don't know why you would want to use such intense flames when there are much less harsh temperatures out there that create similar results and take far less time. The durable metal construction of this grill makes it strong enough to withstand any accident. The sleek design and easy-to-use features will have you cooking like a pro in no time. The durability of this grill is unrivaled. It can stand up to even the most stubborn tip, bump or fall without cracking.   Well, if you tip over a big green egg or bump into something really hard then there's a good chance that crack will spread across your whole cookware. This grill is built like a tank. Built to last and stand up against even the most stubborn of flames, this thing will be around for years with you - so long as it doesn't get blown away by some unexpected breeze. Let's open it up and check the inside out. This smoker has some great features, like the double-wall insulated cooking area which keeps food warmer longer. This will be perfect for those who want their meat slow-smoked or low and gentle. The heavy-duty stainless steel frame is perfect for cooking meals or wrapping food to keep it warm. The warming rack can also be removed and washed easily, making this an excellent addition even if you don't use it often. So, this will be either a good thing or bad depending on how you look at it. The best part about these cast-iron grates is they can be seasoned whenever you want to smoke or grill This means the seasoning won't wear off as quickly and it'll last for a really long time. But when you heat it up for the first time and make sure to keep your spice rub well-done, not only will that burnt flavor be gone but so too any chance of seafood stink happening. What you can see here is that there was some surface rust. But after a quick wipe with my handkerchief and then brushing it off, all of this will scrape away easily. I'm probably going to do some low and slow cooking with it next time, so I'll spray the griddle beforehand. When you heat up your food on this thing quickly after applying seasonings like a liquid sauce or oil will keep them from burning while they're sitting there waiting for me. The quality of the sear marks is really good. This product intelligently channels heat to ensure even cooking all over your food, which results in a beautifully browned crust on top while staying tender inside. The center insert here actually comes out. It will pop up and I believe you can get some accessories to go in there! Not sure what would work, but saw videos on YouTube of guys putting their own little things into this compartment like straps or clips for more storage space if needed. Well, I don't have any special tools to help me with my grill. It's just an open flame that smokes everything over. I'll get this grade out of the way so we can move on. I set it underneath for a minute. The accessory is really great. I ordered it and you can use it as a pizza stone, but unfortunately, this accessory doesn't come with the purchase - you have to buy it separately (but for less than $30/40$). This accessory is perfect for anyone who wants to cook with low and slow heat It lets you have that same type of experience on your gas grill, just like what happens when using an oven-friendly unit such as a Kamado Joe or Green Egg. People have said that the material is really durable, but some people reported cracks after a few months of use. I don’t know if it's because they didn't take care or something else entirely happened so be careful and don’t drop. The Char-Broil Egg has many similarities to other styles, but there are also key differences. The most notable difference is that it features fire bowl technology instead of metal inserts within the inner pot for ash disposal like you find with big green eggs; this means more durability and easier cleanup. You can use this grill to fill up with typically in AMO. You would have lump-style charts, but if you want an even easier way then just brick ETS. The holes on this great grill allow for the ash to fall through just like any other type of charcoal grill, which means you don't have as many messes and can easily clean up after yourself. The reason you can’t use brick ETS in other grills is that the holes are small and get clogged easily with ash. But, if you use briquettes I found that it is not only easier on the earth but also there are no problems when burning.  Well, this is what we call a heat deflector and it helps hold the temperature in. You got an air gap around which is great for holding onto that warmth. We'll get our deflector back here so that it works just as well. I can already tell that this is going to be an amazing product! The first thing people usually complain about with big green eggs is how hard it seems to clean. You have to take all this stuff out. You'll sweep up the Ash into your cart and then get underneath it, where you can kind of vacuum away any remaining particles with a brush or mop head before sweeping them back outside again so they don't come inside.  The designers behind this design have chosen to use a latch system so that when you flip the switch on one side, all of its counterparts will become accessible. So now you've got a fully charged Ash in there. All that's left to do is dump it out if there are any little pieces of grease or anything like that And they just slip right back into place. You may think that by clamping the heating element in place, you'll lose all of your heat or maybe even some smoke out. But this isn't true. When that's clamped in, that's gonna push that thing up to the gasket seal. The build quality is really impressive. It has no smoke or heat leaking out of it, which you can't do with a traditional-style Kamado because they're designed to let through as much airflow possible for fast and even cooking without compromising on safety standards. This thing is so versatile, it'll please any palate. If you're on a budget and can only get one cooker then this would be my recommendation for what's right at $300. You can do anything you want with your smoker. You may have noticed that I didn't say "smoker" - it's because there is no such thing. A good quality grill will get the job done just as well, and in some cases better than a traditional pitmaster’s tool of choice for many years now. You can also do some intense searing on meats or fish while grilling them at high temperatures for a longer period of time in order to achieve certain flavors that are only found by cooking these types of foods this way. The best temperature to run your grill is about 250-275 degrees Fahrenheit. And if you fill it up with charcoal, I've had the fire burn for 10 hours before without stopping. The food is evenly cooked all the way around, and anything you put on turns out great. And honestly - there's not much more to it than that. You just throw some smoking wood onto your fire; then sit back and enjoy your time. You can put your food on and not have to worry about it until it's done. The product is built extremely well, and you'll be really impressed with how sturdy it feels. I've seen some complaints that the negative side of this product is rust. Yeah, it's gonna start rusted immediately when you bring your outdoor fire pit inside and leave for an extended period of time without using protection from rain or snowfall; but if taken care of with regular cleaning then there shouldn't be any problems. I had another one before this, and it was outside for about two years. The rust wasn't bad though - just some surface grime on the bolts or screws that hold its legs together (no big deal). They were just a little bit rusted, but not enough that I thought it would be hard to clean up or ruin them.  In order to keep your grill safe from the elements, it is important that you do not forget about its exterior. Just keep it covered and make sure you're storing things properly in the winter months. That's all there is to do. Well, if you like this cooker then I want to know what's up with it. Let me know your thoughts on the product. Hope you found this review of the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Grill helpful. The information it provides will be sure to enhance your knowledge and experience with any future purchases! The best grill and griddle combo under $400 Royal Gourmet GD401 FAQ The best charcoal grill under $400   Weber Performer Charcoal Grill FAQ I am here to talk about the Weber Performance Deluxe Charcoal Grill and how it will make your next camping trip more enjoyable.  This product includes everything you need in one package: A charcoal grill with a built-in gas ignition system as well as a side shell for easy transportability on any terrain type; durable construction made especially lightweight so carrying this around isn't too much burden even when fully loaded down - you'll be able to set up shop wherever there's space left over at home because let me tell ya', these grills are big sellers among outdoor enthusiasts everywhere. He has a nice side shelf on there, perfect for prepping food or serving your dish. He also gets an extra-large workspace with plenty of storage underneath and two drawers at the other end where you can put anything else that needs storing away. Plus those big wheels make moving around super simple no matter which direction he's going in regards to his workspace. You can wheel it about if you want, or put it away at different times when not in use. There's a bin for Charcoal and one to hold regular garbage - but why not take advantage of its other features too? This little box here is our timer. If you want to cook in time, use that. Thermometers these days are really good at noticing when food's ready because they have a lot more sensors than just one spirit thermometer used traditionally past years would've had on them. With our kettle now black enamel coated, it will be easy for us to keep a clean temperature gauge on top. We'll also have vents at both the bottom and top of this grill in order to control its warmth or coolness as needed.  The grill is equipped with several features that allow you to maintain your desired temperature while cooking, including an ash collection system. The more air flowing into it and the higher heat around 180 degrees Fahrenheit will ensure thorough roasting of food inside without burning them on any side! After you've finished, there's an easy system to get rid of your coal and ash. What's nice about this metal bar that goes around the edge here, and just holds your lid. You don’t have to hold onto anything when cooking; it sits like so on top of our grill (in front) with two big handles for easy access. The bit patterns also allow you to stain whatever surface they are sitting next to we gutted part way through building ours which made moving coals easier than ever before since all surfaces got stained at once. Cleanup couldn't be simpler either -all one has to do is want their stovetop to look spotless again. The GBS system comes out, which is great for cooking pizza stones and other items. You can cook in all sorts of different ways with this grill! Inside the main chamber are standard drip pans so your juices will go right there too if you're roasting something like chickens or ducks; they'll keep their moisture inside instead of wasting it on an unneeded surface area outside where no one wants them (or needs more than one). This is how to cook like a pro. charcoal trays are great for grilling and roasting meat, but they also work perfectly as a grill surface when you want the flavor of direct flame without all that Ash versus indirect heat messiness! To use one simply put some Charcoal into each slot then place it over your desired cooking method (indirect vs middle) - either way this bad boy will deliver amazing results every time. The barbecue is a great way to cook food and also have fun You can use gas, which we've got here in this canister as well as lit by pressing down on it with your finger until there's an ignite button underneath where you put wood chips or whatever else suits your needs best. With the Weber Performer Charcoal Grill, you can light up your charcoal in no time. There's never been an easier way to get that fire started! Simply attach a lighter cube onto one end of it and then use its gas power from either below or above - whichever works best for where they're going on their grill at any given moment (and there won't be much transition). Once lit with ease thanks to both these innovative features combined together...you'll never need another method again when wanting high temperatures fast; just turn it off once everything looks ready. The best 4-burner propane gas grill under $400 Char-Broil Performance Stainless Steel FAQ   Final Thoughts Editor’s Choice: Top-list grills under $200-$1,000 - The best Kamado ceramic grill under $200 - Best Grills Under $300 - Best outdoor propane gas grills under $500 - The best wood pellet grill and smoker under $750 - The best-rated Traeger pellet grill with Wi-Fi on the market - The best portable flat-top propane grill on 2022 Read the full article

[goddessjynx]

Any parent please answer?

Idk if anyone will see this, but right now I need just anyone to tell me I'm not crazy.

Am I a bad friend for wanting to hang out with my ex-bestie (eb for short) while she has her kids or she's busy and can't hang, so I offer to come over, to help watch, to help clean? Anything just to be there for her, why? Oh because she was on her third child, at this time I literally went over to her house to play dnd with her husband and brother and her sometimes. So I would try and say "hi" or talk, but instead we stayed doing something else or barely said hi. Ok, fine, hormones, got it. It got to the point of she wouldn't want to hang out with me for reasons she stopped telling me decent sounding excuses. Fine, That's fine, I have other friends who I can hang with or find other things to stay inside and not get out of the house to do. I don't need to leave the house, to get away from the suffocating inside the house with a mentally and verbally abusive, controlling husband. That's. Just. Fine.

So you know, time goes on. we find out that the reason she won't hang out with me, but will hang out with the other girl who she hates (Mind you the other chick literally broke into their house, tried to start drama all the time, and be hazardous to her already two children But who am I to judge about the person you rant to me about how you hate them so much?) But the other chick was also pregnant after divorcing her wife. It's honestly such a mess. So "anyways, I get excluded now because I "Don't understand what she's going through" or "I won't have the same experience" or I'm "not a good source of help" Lol, Okay? I still can't help? Be happy for you? Cool. So things go on, and just things have gotten worse on my end. I'm over here with such a mind debilitating baby fever, that I'm having to pull my car over watching children get off the school bus because I'm in such a crying fit that I can't breathe or see straight. So who the hell would I go to about what do I do? My Bestie right? (There's a reason we are eb rn) I tell her, well try, Idk how much she actually listened. But I tell her how I just can't think about anything else right now. I did everything right, and the world keeps slapping me back.

I own a 4 bedroom house. we have two cars, we even have decently everything working out in our favor, But all of a sudden, I'm not good enough for anyone. My own husband two months after getting married said he hasn't found me attractive for the last two years. THAnks. That's a real boost. This didn't start the fights, but that's a whole other set of rants. about a year before my eb got pregnant, around or right before July 4th, I strictly remember, I was in the walmart fucking bathroom. I had felt so sick the weeks beforehand. Like, My menstrual cycle hates me. She's savage af. Not to mention she likes to disappear randomly and appear with just cramps or a whole flood. I never know. But I remember calling my husband in a panic because I don't know what to do while I had to go to the bathroom so bad it hurt, and all I have is half dollar sized clots. Just something my medical brain, and senior year of AP biology says, "Fuck!" I have him figure something out because I'm really needing someone to just hold me in the bathroom I feel so sick to my stomach. I'm dizzy and all these symptoms I tell him to tell the doctor or whoever he calls.. So he calls, they say whatever to him. I don't either remember or he never told me what they said, (this is a normal of hiding information from me, A LOT) They said (What he told me) to just wipe things up and clean up then if it persists in the next 24 hours to go into the hospital. But I will have to see an ob-gyn.

So, Okay. Nothing bad. but they are in charge of everything along those lines. But those were including two words, that I now know were the two words this man didn't want to hear despite, DESPITE all the teasing and jokes about having kids with me when I was younger with him and literally just dating. That was because I had to see a family planning doctor. I was told by HIM that it was nothing, and we will be fine. I just blamed it on my cramps that are horrible and never put thought to it because I had believed that's what he was told. So that's a trauma my brain locked away until recently as I'm going through my divorce right now. But, I was thinking about how shortly after that, I got a call from my eb about how they were all waiting on me because I'm making us late for bringing stuff to the grill out and bonfire later. Fine, mask all the pain and keep fucking going. right?

She seemed genuinely not worried, saying it was probably just a bad cycle. She gets them all the time too. Its whatever. My now bestie's sister has gone through the same thing I described multiple times, enough that she looked at me and was like, "No, You possibly miscarried." even her mom went on about, "they should've never NEVER brushed that off like they did. If they cared then they would've made sure you were ok. My husband denied me from going to the doctor to see anything about it. Even after when I knew my hormones and emotions were just soooo off. But that's in my mind now, when before maybe around the same time my eb came out saying to all of us even her own husband one time saying she's been feeling crummy because she went in and she found out she had miscarried. It was so short after my stuff that she disregarded then took and made attention for herself that upset her own husband because she never told him until she told a bunch of us at a bar. I mean I felt bad for her, but Now thinking back, my gut says it was a ploy to make her husband to feel bad for her and to try for another one. Where as I'm over here waiting patiently because I jumped through Hoops to get where I'm at now.

My husband promised me children. Lots, its a fucking dream to be a mum. I care for everyone else, and their kids, why not have some kind of mini me to show of what I did. That I did good. That I can be useful to this world too. That I'm not just a lump of no good nothing to this world. But first, he needed a better paying job than a gas station.

Did that, he worked at a metal parts production place. But we then gave the fact that we still live in the apartment I got after moving out from high school. We rented a house. It worked, and it was nice. But now he needs a car, but he cant do that until he learns how to drive. 3 years older than me and I taught him how to drive. AND I helped him buy his first car, a truck. Oh but now, we still can't start a family. We are only renting. I have enough good credit that I could get a house alone, but I needed a higher pay. Bam with his income together we got a house.

Bam, I'm hit with baby fever and what not. NOW I get told, we aren't ready for anything like that yet, so wait two years. Alright, I'll wait. I can do that. We were going to go on trips together and do many things together and all of a sudden, the walmart thing happened, and it just got worse from there. It got to a point I got a job paying BETTER than him and I was the laughing stock to him and his buddies. THANKS. But I'm fine, everything is fine. The walmart thing was about two years after, so I mean, it was actually in the time frame and whatnot. Things just kept going on getting worse at home, I just kept listening. For reasons, I had to quit my high paying job, and then everything got absolutely horrible at home. Had to put everything I had control over money wise into his account for he worried it would take too long to find an new job and make money to suffice for bills. It was argument after argument, but I went to my eb explaining things, asking what the hell do I do? Her advice? To just do what he wants. The thing I had to quit about? She basically never cared about it. Everything just went on being a mess. I went on just letting people walk over me because that was the advice I was given.

I voiced my feelings that I have been following lies and how I feel hurt that I'm told dreams and having them be taken away. We never went on trips much. Instead we would buy a crap ton of ammo or new guns that I'm not allowed to use, yet I'm helping fund so you can get them, but when it was my own that I BOUGHT, all of a sudden, my things went missing and he would be out using and letting his buddies use my new guns and using up the ammo I had purchased on my own. I mean, fine, but let me at LEAST take yours out if you're going to use mine without asking. It got to be so annoying that we would be asked when we would get married or when we would have kids. He would be hugging me and smiling all cocky saying "Oh well we haven't stopped trying." every time. He would start that tell people this and I finally had enough. I stopped him and told him to put his money where his mouth was. He always said shit but never actually did it or acted on what he said. He would just lie to everyone. Tell people lies because it sounded nice. Best part? I had bought a ring for him. I proposed to him because he would joke about things like that. So I basically said, "bet" and did it. I have never received a damn ring! He wouldn't even want to look at them with me. Because they were expensive. Not all of them are. I don't care what price it is, but something to say, "Hey, I love you and Don't want the odd peeps at the bar to keep hitting on you so take this with you, its dangerous out there." (Shut up. I'm a nerd) But like.... I just would make notions about, I wanted a ring. He would beg me to pool together money and buy new guns, I mean I"m not against, but I would bring up that I will want a ring. Or even something else would be you know, amazing right now because I'm in a lost place wanting kids still and my eb just announced they were having their third. (which her own family was so upset about it that they ranted to me and my mom, her own brother said that its just another kid that they will end up taking care of instead of her so she can go to the bars again. Yep) So next we talked about getting a gun safe because, before we can have kids, we need to be SAFE. Ight, we bought it. Nice matte black 33 capacity, fire and water proof, best part the front had a reallly pretty engraved waving American flag imprinted on it. It was just so smooth. (Guess who has that right now btw) So oddly enough in the middle of me not being enough for my eb, My cycle kind of returned to being semi regular, and all of a sudden disappeared. Well that whole month beforehand we went from never wanting to touch me unless it was my birthday to every night he was angry after work and took it out on me instead. I mean, whatever. But when it came to me not feeling well, I told him.

Instantly it wasn't mine. I was fooling with other guys. Like instant psycho. His childhood friend came and moved up with us, she saw this for a good few months and had to move out because he was trying to control her as if she were a child. She told me that it was not right for him to be that way and that she will never talk to him for how he treated her. (which was exactly how he was always with me too) I'm not sure if he was trying to get my jealous because his bff was a girl? Idk we worked out like literally sisters. Sooo much in common and she told me, She believes he's never wanted kids. And she watched how I broke down after he told me he wanted nothing to do with me until I took a test. He DEMANDED that I took a test right away. If it was positive, it wasn't his until proven so. And if it was negative he would be fine. this was ridiculous. He wasn't at all happy or excited. Purely upset. I felt so shitty that after the test was negative I told him and he threatened about it happening again he was leaving back to Kansas. He threatened this every damn fight, it got to the point that I gave up, I said leave then. And instantly he shut up. I got him out of gangs, crime, jail, living on the street or with his mum, and being a maaajor drug addict. Yet I'M THE BAD PERSON.

Back to recently when my eb is getting closer to having her kid, I just go through finding out I'm not and my husband is freaking out at me, nonstop yelling at me that I'm not good enough and all this shit. Yes, lil ol me trying to keep the peace in the house is a cunt and a whore. Wow. Name calling, but hitting where it hurts? I told him before, how my mother in an argument said I would be a horrible mother. And that shit sticks. IT STICKS. So what does the smart ass pull out? He repeats it. He says he's glad I'm not pregnant because I'd be a horrible mother in the end.

That. That just kills a person. That kills dreams and the feeling of wanting to keep living. Who the FUCK says that to their partner? Am I wrong for thinking that's not right? Well my eb thought I was. I told her my feelings. How I don't want to be jealous of her, but I am. That she's more beautiful, she's always had guys hitting on her in school inviting her to do things and hang out, I was the nerd in whatever class that got invited only if it was mandatory. She will be having three kids and a loving husband that can never take his hands or eyes from her, where as I have to act like a clown to get my husband to look up from his damn phone. To say something nice. To

be acknowledged while in the house. I've left and came back the next morning because I hung out at my now besties house. He didn't say a word until I came home the next morning and he looked at me like "when the fuck did you leave" No care, no love. I was stuck being a burden. Anything I ever did around the house was in vain. Everything I helped with I got shoved away because I didn't do it right. EVERYTHING I did was not good enough. I would tell him this that is how I felt and he would deny it. One day, I caught him yelling at me saying that what I did wasn't ever good enough. Calle him out right away. Bitch... He tried to change the wording to go around what he said. I HEARD IT. it was so bad I had to have my bestie on the phone to listen to how he talked to me behind closed doors. Away from public view. HER MOM HEARD IT. Thought she was watching some kind of dramatic show, until she realized it was me on the phone. She's listened to so many calls its unheard of. There was a day, I had enough of it. (Ok A lot actually) but I grabbed my laptop and my charger and left the house. I sat in the park drawing on my laptop. Texted every person I could think of that I cared so deeply for that they would care for me back. I was in a dark ass place asking for Advice. My eb shrugged off what my husband was doing and scolded me for leaving. For sitting in a park drawing out my feelings instead of being with him because he's being dramatic to her husband upset that I started an argument. I didn't understand what I started when it was over me telling him not to throw the controller when he loses a COD game because that's how it breaks. Why he threw it? Because I distracted him by playing with my cat while he was playing the damn game and made him lose! yep. Exactly that. So I was yelled at to quit. So I did. I went back to my drawing and then with my headphones on I was humming to my music. It distracted him and he lost. So I flipped out because I can't do anything in my own house without being scolded for it. So I stormed off to the bedroom to draw some more. I'm upstairs and away from him. Didn't want to eat now I'm stressed and upset. So I didn't cook anything and now he's hungry and upset at me for not making food yet. YES. That's how it started and I again was the bad person in the story for safely removing myself from an environment where all my mind was telling me to do was dark things that hurt to say. To give up on everything I have worked for and all my dreams.

That was the last time I spoke to her for a while because everything started to be only about baby and about doing this for baby. Doing that for baby. But then she would never answer me back. I was done trying to fit time to hang out. To do something, I made new friends who didn't have kids and hung out more with them. It got horrible. the sound of a child crying made my stomach hurt. I had non stop dreams of the same thing happening. It was just awful. I looked it up and it was just meaning I had something and lost it. Whatever is missing in the dream what what I had lost.

In this dream I was dressed in all black, lace and long dress covering every inch of skin on my body. I had a hat with a veil and I was rocking a bundle in my arms in an old decrepit room with peeling paint and broken toys. It was a nursery. An old ruined nursery. I was rocking just a black blanket swaddled with a hole that emptied to the void. It gives me chills, I get this dream so much that me explaining just makes my skin crawl and my body ache. It hurts to think of but I just cannot understand it. Makes sense now that I looked into it.

But me going through all of this, I can't talk to my husband about my feelings because I'm too needy and being selfish for not taking his feelings into an account. That he's not ready that we are not ready and that I'm not ready because I'm going to be a horrible mom. Cool.

I have tried so much. I couldn't be around kids. It made me so sick and I jus would have to find somewhere to hide and cry for hours. I would cry myself to sleep. Never getting comfort by him because I'm throwing a pity party. I was so hurt. Still am. I'm broken hearted. Thinking that if I had a kid, at least I would have something that needed me and would love the care I gave and would love me back. I wanted to feel loved for how much I put out in the world. I wanted to have something to ground me to this world before I did something stupid. I was in such a dark place that I drove an hour to go see my bestie because I was scared that I was going to do it. That I was going to be the big disappointment he told me I would always be. Three months later, baby is here and I go back to playing dnd with my friends and its at their house. My husband is rubbing it in my face. He's holding baby and talking to baby and doing all these things making my mind break. He asks if I want to hold her. If i if iififififi NO.

I can't I cannot. I'm trying to be respectful. I missed out on other games because I had to hype myself up. I procrastinated because I didn't know how I would be or if I could handle it. I got to the point that my eb's husband told me that he doesn't want me playing anymore because I sent a text trying to apologize to my now eb that I feel so bad but I can't see her right now since seeing her kids just sends me into a panic attack and I can't stop thinking horrible things. So she takes that as I have a problem with HER kids and not just the KIDS situation. Doesn't hear me out. blames me for everything and has me banned from coming over. in which her husband says he doesn't want me over anymore. Which my rebuttal is because she's telling him only. But he said it was his choice. I don't know don't care. It just hurt that THATS the reason I got kicked out. Not because I was good, but that I couldn't handle their kids. And I would not pay attention by drawing the whole time. I was distracting myself because I'm trying to drown out the noises of cooing making my gut rot and my mouth dry. So by all means I'm selfish for wanting a dream that I was being promised for the last 6 years of physically being with my soon to be ex. I've know for actually 12 years. And that I drove 15 hours to bring you to me since you couldn't drive.

So I need to know from real parents, was I out of line for telling my eb that I had feelings and that them not being heard or just cast to the side hurt? Am I crazy for feeling that I've been robbed? For being upset when my husband comes home drunk and abuses me? For being hurt when I'm called all sorts of names and told I'm worthless by the man I should trust the most? Please. I need to know.

I know I'm ranting, but I need to get it out. I need to find some sort of something to figure out why I'm feeling this way, or why I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm fighting for the divorce since i haven't been to my owned house in the last 5 months since he changed the locks on me. I moved an hour away from my home and my family and still to this day, I hurt to hear or watch children around me. I'm happy, but inside something aches and just feels empty. Not to mention that I got told by people that know me that he's been caught buying condoms. We are still technically married, and he can't be doing those things right now. Am I jealous? Upset? Hurt? All of the above? It just sucks and I'm drowning in debt a bit trying to work my ass off to get where I want in life again since all of everything has been ripped from me. I'm trying. Please let me know if I'm crazy or out of line? I want to be heard. I'm going to start to save up. I have a plan for my 27th birthday. If it doesn't work in time for my 28th birthday, I'm not sure what else I can do but join the 27 club.

[woodsteingirl]

A case in suburbia, domestic dynamics, and a forever home. What could go wrong?

the moment i’ve been waiting for! chapter one is up now! read here or under the cut.

Cas and Dean were searching for a forever house. They had been pretty much since Cas got back from the empty. They were ready to distance themselves from hunting. Dean had always wanted a sort of suburban, white picket fence life, even if he didn’t admit it to anyone. And since he already admitted how he truly felt to Cas, why not throw his need for a domestic lifestyle into the mix. Cas was all for it. Ever since Jack had given up most of his powers to Amara, thus causing her to take his place as God and him almost human, Cas had been hoping for a place to raise him like a normal child. The bunker was great for hunting and a place for Cas, Dean, and Sam, but not so much for raising a 5-year-old kid.

House hunting had been a burden to bear, but they were making out alright. Up till this, they’d looked at about 3 other houses. They were all a no for different reasons. The first one Cas decided was in a school district that wouldn’t be good for Jack, the second didn’t have a big enough garage or backyard, and the third didn’t have enough bedrooms for all of their family to stay. With the whole credit card scam they’d been running for as long as they remember, budget wasn’t really a problem, but they didn’t want something extravagant.

There it was, 538 Chapel Street in Pine River Crossings. It wasn’t too far out of Lawrence, only a few hours' drive, and all the houses looked nice. Very cookie cutter, but that was sort of the appeal. They couldn’t guarantee that they would fit in with the traditional, upper middle-class people, but what the hell, if they could kill god they could take suburbia.

A few days passed, and they were set up to look at the home. They drove the hour and a half to the next medium-sized town with the belief in their minds that this was the one. It had all they needed, a two-car garage, a respectable school district, and two guest bedrooms. They were so caught up in this concept they made the mistake of not checking the news for the nearby areas. Once they arrived, a realtor who showed them around the dwelling greeted them. It was all they could ask for and more practically too good to be true, especially for people like them. The actual presentation of the house went over without too many problems. The person exhibiting the residence commented on how it had been on display for almost a month now, which was the first red flag. A house as nice as this, in a densely populated area, would usually not be on the market for that long in weeks unless there was some hidden con.

They signed on it not a day after seeing the house in person. It was all set up and they could officially start moving stuff in the next week. They officially shared the good news with everyone the day after they signed. Sam was beyond happy for them. Not only would he finally have a space to himself, he was proud of his brother for living the life he’d always wanted. Jack was thrilled that he would get to go to actual school and have friends that were his age and not cosmic entities. In the meantime, Cas did more research into the neighborhood. There was their hidden con. The newspaper Cas had pulled up on his phone said, “Local Couple Murdered in Own Home.”

“Dean, look at this.”

Okay, that was a setback. A murderer on the loose in the neighborhood they were moving into was not exactly what he had planned, but he had delt with worse. “Alright, that could be a problem.”

“I think it’s a little bigger than a problem,” Cas retorted.

“Is it our type of thing or just something local law enforcement could deal with?”

Cas read on in the article, “the couple was stabbed, there was no sign of forced entry, neighbors reported nothing amiss besides lights flickering before the murder. The weapon, as well as the perpetrator, was never found. No official suspects have been labeled, everyone has seemed to have an alibi.”

“It definitely sounds like our thing. Lights flickering, no breaking and entering, and all.”

They decided they could pose as residents, as it seemed perfectly normal for the newcomers to be concerned about the literal murderer on the loose. Since Cas was newly human, and Jack was, well, 5, Dean thought they might need outside help. Being out of practice to spend more time with your husband and child really had its fallbacks. Sam was off the table as backup. He was out of town and Dean didn't want to interrupt his first weekend without him in god knows how long. Plus, they needed someone who wouldn't draw too much attention to their family dynamic.

“Hey, Cas, what do you think about calling in Claire to help us with this one? You think she’d do it?”

“Calling her in for help is a good idea, whether or not shed actually do it is another question.”

“I’ll call and ask, and if she wants to help, and if not then I can think of something else.”

He kept his promise and called Claire not an hour later. He decided it might be best not to tell her it was undercover work, or that it was taking place in a white picket fence neighborhood, as that might turn her off from it almost immediately.

“Hey Claire, its been too long since we’ve talked,” he started.

“Hi Dean. what do you want, there’s no way you’re just calling to catch up if you’re starting with ‘its been too long.’”

“You got me there. I was just wondering if you wanted to come with me and Cas on a hunt. Its not too far from the bunker and we’d have you back home in a week.”

“Sure, that works. When do we start?” She hadnt seen Dean and Cas since they rescued Cas. That was over a month ago, she’d been meaning to visit, but she’d been so busy with hunting, and getting to know Kaia again now that she was finally back. This seemed like a perfect opportunity to reconnect and not miss out on anything too big back at home.

“If you could come down here by Wednesday, that’d be great.”

“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.” She was tempted to sign off with an ‘I love you’ but she was never a lovey-dovey person in that way.

On tuesday she promised Jody she’d be extra careful and would be back in under a week. Kaia told her to make sure to call every day and update her on what was happening. Claire agreed, promising to keep in touch. She spent the rest of the day driving down to Kansas.

Back on Dean and Cas’s end, they were trying to get the house set up for 4 people when they had no furniture prior to this. Cas had always loved furniture shopping even before he had a use for it. When he worked at the Gas-and-Sip, he would browse the home improvement magazines in his spare time. Dean was pretty much the opposite. He had never had reason to care for it, so he didn't. Maybe his hatred for Swedish furniture was rooted in his deep-seated commitment issues. It didn't matter much why he hated it, he just left most of the choices up to Cas. there was then the issue of appliances and such you couldn't find in a furniture store. That was left up to him. Cas sent him out to Walmart to get things for the kitchen. That was something he could do. He picked out a mixer, some silverware, and a pioneer woman kitchenware set. It came with pots and pans, mixing bowls, and a few normal sized plates. That was enough for him to consider it an absolute steal. He brought his finds home to the bunker, setting them on the table designated for things that were to go in the new house. Jack was sitting on Cas’s lap, pointing at things on the computer.

“What’re you guys finding?” Dean asked, hovering behind Cas’s shoulder.

“Djungelskog!” Jack exclaimed, showing Dean a photo of a large stuffed brown bear.

“I thought you were looking for furniture?” Dean directed the question more at Cas, but he was still looking at Jack.

“We are. Jack just got us a bit sidetracked. We found the majority of what we need. Among other things not of as grave importance.”

Dean looked over the shopping cart and then gave the go ahead. Not before adding the stuffed bear to the cart, though.

The next day Claire arrived. Everyone was thrilled to see her. Jack ran up and threw himself around one of her legs and Cas gave her an awkward dad side hug. Dean wondered when he would tell her what the hunt would actually consist of, but he didn't want to interrupt the moment.

A few hours later, Dean fixed everyone a real dinner and had them sit down at the kitchen table. The realization dawned on him that this was going to be his last sit down meal officially living in the bunker. Everyone sort of just sat in silence for a beat. Perhaps reflecting on their own lasts of officially living there. “Claire, I sorta forgot to add this when I called you, but the case is a lot of undercover work. Also its in a suburban area.”

“And why didn't you tell me this sooner?”

“Well to speak freely, I wanted you on this case and I was worried it would make you not want to come.”

“It almost does, but i'm already here now, and i wouldn't want to waste a days driving on something i'm not actually going to do.” She guessed this would probably take longer than a week. “And i'm guessing this isn't just something you decided to do out of the goodness of your hearts?”

“We bought a house in the area, and we just wanted to make sure it was safe,” Cas explained.

“Hang on, you bought a house for real and you didnt even think to tell me? You didn't think that that was valuable information?”

“It didn't come up in our phone call,” Dean said.

“And? That’s no excuse to leave your daughter out of major life events!” The ‘daughter’ part just sort of came out without her noticing, but seconds after she said it she regretted it. God, how embarrassing.

“You’re right. We should’ve told you sooner. It was kind of a recent decision, though, so you haven’t been out of the loop for too long,” Cas said.

The next day was moving day. Dean loaded the appliances into the back of Claire’s car, since the back of the Impala was already full. Claire took her own car, while Dean, Cas, and Jack rode in Baby. Their real furniture was being delivered as they spoke. Cas offered to ride with Claire, but she assured him she’d be fine by herself. The drive wasn’t even that long, especially compared to the distance she drove yesterday.

Dean was silently nervous. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but it was written all over his face. His first real stable house, with the man he loved, and his two kids, he could only hope that he didn’t mess it up. Cas put a hand on his shoulder showing he saw how Dean was feeling.

They turned onto Chapel Street and pulled up into the driveway of the house. It somehow looked bigger and more daunting than it had during the walkthrough. Claire arrived almost ten minutes later. Everyone just sort of paused in front of the house for a minute, reveling in the stability most of them had never had.

[fluffi]

my little dirt ball. | hueningkai

pairing: hueningkai x reader

genre: fluff, friends to lovers!au, hauntedhouse!au

word count: 9k

author’s note: wow...my first published fic and its 9k words...i don’t really know what to think of this, but I hope everyone likes it!

warnings: vague descriptions of things in haunted houses, y/n being an oblivious idiot

others: this is part of a halloween group collab. You can see everyone else’s works here! this also is in correlation to an upcoming yeonjun fic i have planned (see bonus)!

special thanks: @/spookybias for literally taking 30 min of her time to help me get the entire fic in order and @/yeonjuncore as inspiration for the correlation fic thingy (see her hueningkai and soobin halloween fic).

October 31, 2020 | 6.38am

You were unable to fall asleep. Tossing, turning, and sitting up ever so often in a sweaty mess. You would walk over to the thermostat, turn it down, only for you to wake up shivering. Then the cycle would repeat, so you never ended up actually sleeping.

While squirming in bed, you heard loud thumps emitting from your bedside window. What the heck? It wasn’t raining, you were sure of it, since you couldn’t hear water leaking in your bathroom. Just then, your phone rang. You groggily sat up and pressed the green answer button, without bothering to look at the caller ID.

“Wake up, loser. Did you forget that it’s October 31? Halloween?”

Right. That was what I forgot. You were so busy doing projects and finishing assignments in school that you forgot your yearly tradition with your Halloween-enthusiast best friend, Kai. He was probably very annoyed at your lack of attendance, but you were tired. Maybe the tradition could wait till next year.

You groaned. “Sorry, sorry. I know we’re supposed to meet at the park like we do every year, at 6am. But Dude, I’m so tired. Can we postpone this meetup? I have 3 more English projects that I have to finish, and I can’t seem to fall asleep tonight.”

“Perfect! Since you can’t sleep, we’re meeting. Dress up and sneak out, like last year, and every other year before that. You don’t have to walk to the park. I’m outside your house right now, throwing these really nice pebbles at your window. By the way, these pebbles are nice. They’re like, really freaking shiny. Where’d your mom get them fro-“

You accidentally ended the call, cutting him off. To be fair, you weren’t expecting him to blabber about stupid walmart pebbles for such a long time.

Sometimes you wondered why you were friends with Kai, and then you remembered that it was because you liked him. A lot. You liked him way too much. Kai was always stuck in your brain. Every thought you had when you were alone was about him, and almost every thought you had when you were with him, well, you couldn’t even think straight when you were around Kai. But he didn’t need to know that. He was just that popular cute boy, living his best life surrounded by drop-dead gorgeous girls who would do just about anything to be with him. They were ten times prettier than you, surely he wouldn’t settle for a girl like Y/N L/N.

You pulled yourself out of your pity puddle when you remembered that Kai was waiting for you outside. The boy you were probably in love with, who might break your window if you don’t hurry up and meet him right now. You swear, if you hear the tapping of rocks at your window one more time...

You sat up, opened your window, and screamed, “Kai Kamal Huening, I swear, if you do not stop right now, I will drag your as-“

7.02am

“Hey, random question. Why does this tradition have to be exactly the same every year? Why does it matter if I meet you at 6am? What if I meet you at 6.10am? In that case, will you stop being friends with me?” You teased, trudging alongside Kai on a rugged concrete path.

Kai sighed, tilting his head to look at you with his beautiful, brown eyes. “It matters because it takes 15 minutes to walk from your neighborhood’s park to Mr. Roger’s pumpkin patch, and he opens at 6.20am exactly, every single Halloween. If you get to the park at 6.10am, we’ll reach his pumpkin patch at 6.30am. By then, all the competitive mothers who want their child to have the best pumpkin will have taken all the round, orange, hard-enough-to-carve-but-not-so-hard-that-carving-becomes-a-chore kind of pumpkins, and we’ll be stuck with the oblong shaped, ugly pumpkins.”

“Then why aren’t we running? At this rate, we will only get rotten mushy pumpkins.”

“We aren’t running because you have tiny legs and we won’t make it that far before you get tired. I don’t want you to get hurt, shortie.” Kai teased, sticking out his tongue while leaning over you in an attempt to intimidate you.

At this point, he was only a few inches away from you, and the both of you were so close that you could peck his lips. As much as you wanted to, you resisted the urge to lean closer towards him and instead laughed nervously as he smiled at you. This action only made your heart beat faster. It didn’t help that he just said that he cared about you, and despite the statement being so lighthearted, it warmed your heart to know that he prioritized your well-being over pumpkins.

Your heart was thumping faster and faster, and you were turning into an embarrassed mess. Cheeks hot and red, eyes darting everywhere. Come to think of it, that plant behind Kai looks interesting, how come you’ve never seen it before?

The awkward tension was getting quite unbearable at this point, and you couldn’t take it anymore. “I-uh...we…um….uh...race you to the pumpkin patch! Yeah..uh..let's go!” You nervously muttered, trying to sound confident. You immediately ran opposite the direction of where the both of you were supposed to go.

“Y/N! The pumpkin patch is this way!” Kai confusedly shouted. “You’ve been to the pumpkin patch multiple times! Where are you even going?”

You were getting out of breath, but you would only stop running once you were out of Kai’s sight. “Uh...I’ll take the longer route! Yeah...I’ll meet you there...uh...don’t follow me!” You turned around and started running backwards, so you could see if Kai would start following you.

“Y/N! Stop running, wait! No! Look behind you!”

The last thing you saw was Kai’s figure running towards you before your head hit the ground with a loud thud.

7.46am

“Ugh, what do you want? Why did you wake me up? And why is Y/N sleeping in your arms?”

Kai was at Beomgyu’s house, holding your unconscious self bridal-style in his arms. You had tripped over a brick ledge all because your idiotic self was too panicked with the thought of kai finding out that you liked him.

Kai sighed, “Look hyung, I’m sorry if this is a huge hassle, or that I may be disturbing your 8-hour beauty sleep, but Y/N fell down, and she isn’t asleep. I think she got knocked out.”

Beomgyu started frantically waving his hands and shouting incoherently. “Oh my gosh, are you serious? If she’s knocked out, we have to go to the hospital! We have to call 911! What if she doesn’t wake up?? Kai, why did you bring her here, this isn’t my problem! Oh my goodness, I’m not even kidding, wh-“

While Beomgyu was going full-on emergency mode, you had regained your senses and was starting to stir. Maybe it was because Beomgyu’s panicking actions had woken you up, or that you had a sixth sense blaring huge warning signs all across your brain because you were in Kai’s arms. Wait, you were in Kai’s arms?

You slowly fluttered your eyes open to see Kai looking confusedly at a screaming Beomgyu, who seemed so sure that you would never wake up. As you laid in the Kai’s arms, you gazed at his ethereal features. Brown eyes with gorgeous golden specks in them, wavy brown hair, his cute little boopable nose, he was a literal angel who looked perfect from every angle. Just then, said angel looked down at you.

“Beomgyu-hyung! She’s awake! Her eyes are open! Why is she smiling? Hi Y/N, good morning, why are you smiling? Her cheeks are really red too, she looks like she’s drunk! HAHA! Y/N, Y/N?”

It took you a few minutes to register that Kai was talking to you, and that he was indeed, calling your name. By the time you tried opening your mouth to respond, gross-man-Beomgyu was already looking over at you with utter disgust and relief clouding his face.

“Oh, good. I thought she was going to die. Okay, now just in case idiot Y/N stumbles and falls again, she should rest here. You guys can leave when she feels better. Ugh, the things I do for you guys. Sacrificing my 8-hour beauty sleep, my privacy, and most importantly, my lovely couch, that disgusting Y/N is going to lay on.”

You once again came back from Kai Dreamland when you realized that Beomgyu had just insulted you. About to rebut, you remembered that you were still in Kai’s arms and that he was starting to carry you to the couch. Feeling the heat that was rising up your cheeks, you immediately tried squirming out of Kai’s arms.

You tried lifting your legs off his left arm and grabbing on his right one for support. “Uh, Kai, actually, I feel better already. I can walk myself to the couch, yeah, thanks.”

Kai stifled a laugh and bemusedly stared at you. “Y/N, you just fell down and knocked yourself out. The couch isn’t too far, if I can carry you to Beomgyu’s house then I can surely carry you to the living hall.”

“No, um, I’m good. I’m independent!” As you fumbled out of Kai’s grasp and began attempting to get to the couch, you thought to yourself. Y/N, how stupid. Who uses ‘I’m independent’ as an excuse? Way to blow it in front of your 10-year-crush.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu, who had been grabbing water, immediately put the cup down and ran towards you, who was struggling to even walk in a straight line. Grabbing your arms and dragging you to the couch, he tutted. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Y/N, you really be walking like a drunk man at 4am. Why did Kai stop carrying you? He shouldn’t have put you down, for goodness sake, you nearly knocked down my mom’s sacred glass vase with your swinging beanstalk arms!”

Kai lifted both of his hands in defense. “I didn’t put her down. I insisted on carrying her all the way to the couch but she flailed around in my arms and said she could walk just fine. I’m starting to think that she might have an actual brain injury.”

You, being perfectly fine and functioning decently with your 3 brain cells, had only gotten dizzy from the sudden shift of laying down to standing up. You had laid down on the couch and was starting to drift off to sleep. The last thing you heard was Kai and Beomgyu giggling about something related to brains, but you were too tired to ask them about that inside joke.

8.40 am

“So...have you told her?”

Beomgyu and Kai were sitting on the floor in the living hall, with you fast asleep on the couch behind them. There were cards messily sprawled across the floor, and 2 cup noodles on a chair placed in front of them.

Kai sighed. He discreetly held up his uno cards in front of his face to block the reddening that was beginning to form on the apples of his cheeks.

“Told who what?”

“Oh, stop acting so oblivious. Ya know, have you told Y/N that you like her?”

Kai felt his cheeks heat up even more and he embarrassingly smacked Beomgyu’s arm. “Hyung, are you dumb? Y/N’s right behind us. She probably just heard you say that. Plus, did you forget about the very special Halloween plan happening in like, 10 hours?” He quickly turned around to see if you were actually asleep and not just getting some shut-eye. You were definitely deep into your slumber, hair all messed up and your body spread across the couch in an very uncomfortable looking position. However, to Kai, you looked extremely cute. He couldn’t resist the urge to smile ear to ear. Kai wanted to boop your nose right then and there, and was fighting hard to resist this temptation in fears of waking you up. He removed his baby blue hoodie and gently placed it on your sleeping figure, doing his best to not wake you up.

Beomgyu, who was looking disgustedly at Kai’s chival gesture and his beaming face, made a heart with his hands between the both of you. “Wow, you are whipped for Y/N. Anyways, she’s clearly asleep. She looks like a pig! And it wouldn’t matter if she heard me say that you have a crush on her. She clearly likes you too.”

Kai scowled at Beomgyu’s insult, and sat back down. “First of all, do not say that Y/N looks like a pig, she’s gorgeous and way prettier than you. Secondly, no! She definitely doesn’t like me that way! She probably thinks my Halloween obsession is weird, and I’m probably not the type of guy she likes. She likes ‘hot’ dudes.” Kai gagged when he said that statement.“She probably likes Yeonjun or something, they would be cute together.”

Beomgyu rolled his eyes and declared. “Have you seen the way she looks at you? Her eyes sparkle and she awes at you like you're the only thing that matters on this planet! Heck, you probably are the only thing that matters to her on this planet.” Beomgyu sighed, rolling his eyes. “You two are so oblivious.”

“Let’s divert the topic, this is making me flustered and I don’t like it.” Kai said, as he picked a draw 8 card from the fan of uno cards that was still covering his burning red cheeks. “I was initially planning to just skip you, but because you brought this topic up, draw 8.”

Beomgyu innocently smiled, then put down a draw 4 card. He looked back up at Kai, stuck his tongue out, and then cheekily laughed at the fuming boy.

Kai’s cheeks were glowing red again, but this time, it was for an entire different reason.

October 31 2020 | 8.10am -> October 31 2009 | 9.33am

While the boy you were in love with and the boy you wanted to punch into a different dimension were talking about you, you were deep inside Kai Dreamland.

Almost every night, you dreamed about dating him. Being able to feed each other food, holding each other’s hands, cuddling, and being able to do ‘justcouplethings” with him. This dream, however, was very different.

Unbeknownst to you, a past flashback was about to happen, and it would make you finally realize why you liked Kai so much.

You were looking at your very young self in third person, who was wearing a weird wire contraption shaped like a sphere. Draped on top of the contraption was a dirty brown blanket, and stuck on top of it were what were supposed to be sprinkles and icing sugar. The sprinkles and icing sugar were made of horribly cut colored paper, and they looked like they were on the brink of dropping off because of the faulty glue gun job that was barely keeping the whole costume together. You had your purple Dora backpack in your right hand and your left hand was lifted up, about to knock on a wooden birch door with the placard “Class 1C” right in the center of the door.

Oh, no. Oh, no no. Present Y/N knew what was coming. You hated this moment so, so, much, because you knew what was behind that innocent-looking door. Out of all things, did I really have to dream about the most humiliating moment of my life?

Young Y/N finally knocked with all her strength on the wooden door, and a young adult wearing a witch hat that did not match her professional blazer and work skirt opened the door.

“Hello, dear! You must be Y/N L/N, our new student! I see you that you must’ve got the memo to dress up. I love your costume. My name is Ms. Kim. Do come inside!” Ms. Kim flashed an exaggerated smile, and gestured for you to come in.

Your younger self was very oblivious to the fact that Ms. Kim did not like your costume one bit just based on her fake smile and the giggle she tried to hide. Nonetheless, you confidently strutted in the decorated classroom, unaware that your sprinkles and iced sugar pieces were starting to fall off, leaving a trail of cut colored paper from the door to where you now stood, which was in the center of the classroom.

A few classmates had already started to snicker, proudly pointing their stubby fingers at the trail of papers, and the brown sphere you were wearing, then bursting into immature giggles. However, you continued to lift your head up high.

“Class, class, settle down. We have a new student. Y/N, do introduce yourself.” Ms. Kim announced. The high-pitched laughter echoing from the audience died down.

“Hello, class of 1C! My name is Y/N L/N, and I am proud to be here today! I will do my best in this class!” You beamed, and the class burst into booming laughter. Chaos erupted, making the giggling just now nothing compared to this event.

Paper balls and pencils were thrown, and the monstrous classmates could no longer keep their childish giggling to themselves.

“She looks like a dirt ball! She looks like a dirt ball!” A loud shout emitted from the back of the class, and soon, everyone else caught on.

“Dirt ball! Dirt ball! Y/N is a dirt ball!” The class hooted, enjoying this Halloween party way more than they should.

Ms. Kim sighed, and looked down at your fragile figure who was on the verge of tears. “Class, if you do not quiet down and respect Y/N, we will cancel this party. All of you can go back to doing your addition and subtraction.”

Immediately, the mean teasing and laughter died down, and you shuffled your way to your assigned seat, leaving a trail of more cut colored paper. Once you put your backpack behind your seat and sat down, you put your head in your arms, not bothering to look at the wavy-haired boy leaning his head on his elbow, smiling innocently at you. Noticing your sad self, he immediately placed it upon himself to cheer you up.

“Hello, you’re Y/N, right? I’m Kai. I really love your costume! Is it a cake pop?”

Kai really did love your costume. He liked the fact that anyone could tell that you had worked so hard to make it. Compared to his target-bought jellyfish costume, it was a piece of majestic art.

You immediately sat up, all signs of sadness gone. You were happy and satisfied that at least one person knew what your costume was. The hard work you spent gluing on the paper and the hard work your mother spent looking for a wire contraction that would fit you had finally been paid off.

“Yes! It’s a cake pop. I love your jellyfish costume too!” You smiled, revealing one of your missing front teeth.

“Nah, my costume isn’t as good as yours. I'm sorry if the class was so mean to you, I think your outfit looked great. In fact, my mom is having a small Halloween gathering this week, would you want to come? There will be lots of food, and I got my dad to build…”

At this exact moment, your past self realized that you liked this boy. You didn’t care if you married him, or if you just stayed friends, you wanted to be with him through thick and thin. For your present self, this just proved that you loved him more than he would ever know.

October 31 2020 | 10.35am

“...ding, ding, ding, ding…”

Ughhhh. What is going on with my phone?

“...ding, ding, ding!”

As soon as the ringing from your phone stopped, you immediately dozed back to sleep.

“Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding…”

“ARGHHH! Kai, can you please help me check my phone! It's ringing like it's a bomb about to detonate!”

No response.

“Kai? Gyu?”

As you worriedly stood up and glanced around bemusedly, the baby blue hoodie that Kai had carefully draped onto you slid off, and dropped at your feet. You noticed it and picked up the familiar looking sweater.

You suddenly realized that this hoodie belonged to the one and only Kai Kamal Huening, and your heart started pounding when you came to terms with the fact that he had just draped one of his favorite hoodies onto you. You scrunched the sweater up in your hands, and wore it over your graphic pumpkin shirt (which was your “costume”). It smelled exactly like Kai, and with the faint scent of his maple autumn leaf perfume (that he only used in October) wavering in the air, you felt like you were in Kai Heaven.

However, the annoying dings in the background didn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon, so you finally addressed the noise by grabbing your phone from your bag on the dining table.

You groaned as your phone screen lit up with an incoming call from Yeonjun.

“Hi, Yeonjun. I don’t think I can come.”

“What, why?” Yeonjun dragged, the ‘y’, sounding like a whining baby. “We’re doing a haunted house. All the cool kids are gonna be there. Are you not a cool kid?”

‘Well, number one, I'm not going cause haunted houses are scary. Number two, I’m not cool Jun, you know that. Number three, Kai and I were supposed to do our yearly tradition, but I fell down this morning. I think we’re going to continue it afterwards, and I don’t think Kai likes parties that much. Speaking of Kai, do you know where him and Beomgyu are? I’m in Gyu’s house by myself right now, and when I woke up they weren’t there anymore, are they with you?”

Yeonjun coughed from the other end of the line and seemed to hesitate before replying. “No, I don’t know where Kai and Beomgyu are. But I think Kai wants to come to the party, he said he would, Y/Nieeeee, please come, it’ll be fun.”

You were about to reconsider your choice and dial Kai asking if he wanted to come, when you heard an oddly familiar high pitched dolphin laughter occurring from the other end of the line, followed by a loud shout of glee.

“Wait, Yeonjun. Isn’t that Kai? Is he with you?”

“No. Kai isn’t with me. I don’t know where he is. I really don’t. I think I saw him yesterday? Uh…”

Yeonjun muted the call and left your curious self waiting on the line.

“Okay, I’m back, sorry, technical problems. But yeah, don’t know where Kai is. Totally don’t know.”

“Yeonjun, I can tell when you’re lying.”

Yeonjun sighed from the other end of the line.

“I’m coming over.” You said, as you ended the call, furious and confused as to why he lied to you about such a trivial matter. At least Kai is safe, you thought to yourself, as you grabbed your bag roughly. You were about to stalk out of the house, when you remembered that you were still wearing Kai’s baby blue hoodie that looked extremely over-sized on you. You considered wearing it to Yeonjun’s house, then decided against the decision in fear that Kai might get the wrong idea.

As best friends, the both of you didn’t exchange much skinship or share many things, so this was your first time wearing Kai’s hoodie. You didn’t want him to find out that you like him, and was planning to keep your sacred secret for as long as you could.

After taking off Kai’s sweater, you folded it into a little bundle and shoved it in your bag, just in case he might want it back at Yeonjun’s house. Finally, you walked out of your house, still curious and disappointed as to why a close friend would lie to you about such a small issue.

11.13am

Instead of going to Yeonjun’s huge house, you were now seated across an anxious, fidgeting Kai, in Magic Island, a homely cafe that the both of you would go every halloween for their special rainbow halloween-themed cupcakes. Kai had requested the both of you to meet at this cafe instead of Yeonjun’s house for who knows what, but surprisingly, you didn’t question his rushed and breathless statement when he called you as you were walking out. In the call, he anxiously explained that he would explain in the cafe, and begged you to not go to Yeonjun’s house. Even though this statement only made you more curious as to what they could and were doing there, you reluctantly obliged and began walking in the opposite direction to Magic Island.

And right now, you were seated on a very comfortable sofa with a witch cushion behind you and a pumpkin-themed cover draped over your seat. Around you, there were assorted forms of Halloween decorations ranging from black and orange themed hanging tinsels to the cafe’s signature baby witch statue that took its place at the shop’s entrance.

There was an awkward silence beginning to form between the both of you, so after glancing at everything else but Kai, you finally tried staring him down as sternly as you could, trying to show that you wanted an explanation.

“Kai, why would Yeonjun lie to me about such a trivial matter? What are you guys hiding from me?”

“No, you don’t understa-“

“I thought friends were supposed to be truthful to each other. Am I not trustworthy? I don’t remember doing anything that broke your trust.” It was getting harder and harder to control the words spouting out of your mouth at this point. You were curious and disappointed, and he had been acting shady recently. Kai has never left you alone so randomly, and to your knowledge, none of your other close friends have ever lied to you about his whereabouts.

“Look, wait! Don’t interrupt me! I can see your eyes getting unnaturally huge, and you only do that when you’re about to interrupt someone. Here, let me cut to the chase, I, uh, we, Beomgyu and I, we were at Yeonjun’s house to help him prepare for the party.”

He is a horrible liar, you thought to yourself. Nevertheless, you let him continue to see what else he could spur up.

“We uh, we went to, his house because he needed help preparing, and you know, Yeonjun’s house is huge, so like, obviously, one person couldn’t just decorate the place himself, plus, we’re helping him for the haunted house too, so uh, we-“

“Kai, you're still not answering my question. If it was nothing, why did Yeonjun lie to me about your whereabouts?” You rebutted, impatient and wanting the answer to your question quickly.

“Fine, fine. I’ll tell you. I really can’t keep it anymore. Y/N, the reason why I’ve been acting so shady, was because I was planning a-”

“SURPRISE!” A loud chorused shout echoed from the entrance of the cafe. As you turned back, you saw Yeonjun, Beomgyu, and Taehyun strutting in. Yeonjun was holding a few helium balloons with the words “Happy Birthday” and “Merry Christmas” printed on them in jazzy handwriting, and Taehyun was beside him lighting up candles on a cheap walmart chocolate cake that probably tasted like garbage. Beomgyu was trailing behind the two boys with a cheesy smile and jazz hands. Turning back, you glanced at a bemused and shocked Kai, who, seeing that you were staring at him suspiciously, covered his previous expression with a shy giggle and a smile equally as fake as Beomgyu’s.

Taehyun put down the lit up cake on the candy corn colored table and Yeonjun handed you the Target-bought balloons.

“Yeonjun lied about where Kai and I were because he didn’t want to spoil this surprise, right, Yeonjun?” Beomgyu said while maintaining his ear-to-ear smile.

Yeonjun glanced back at Beomgyu, who was still smiling but now with his eyes wide open and blinking rapidly as if he was trying to send morse code. Yeonjun responded with a small smirk and looked back at you. “Yes, we spent the morning at my house buying these things and preparing it for you. It was Kai’s idea, wasn’t it?” Yeonjun winked at Kai and finger gunned him. Wow, Jun, way to be cringey, you thought to yourself.

If this “surprise” were for any other sane person, they would’ve obviously realized that it was some last-minute pull together and would immediately called them out on it. But you, being head-over heels for Kai, felt touched that he had planned a surprise for you (and only you) and completely ignored all the screaming signs that it wasn’t an actual surprise, and then it wasn’t just a surprise for you, but for him too. Nonetheless, Taehyun’s idea of this cover-up was working perfectly and had completely erased all your previous suspicions of what Kai had been doing before.

However, your oblivious self was curious about only one thing. “Hmm, I have to ask about something.”

The four boys started breaking out in cold sweat, but Taehyun kept his cool, and managed to ignore the panic boiling inside. He calmly asked, “What are you curious about?”

“I would like to know why the balloons Yeonjun gave me say ‘Happy Birthday’ and ‘Merry Christmas’ on them, it is certainly not my birthday today and Christmas is in two months.”

In order to break the awkward tension rising up in the room, Beomgyu finally spoke up. “Oh, uh, a-about t-that-”

“It doesn’t matter!” Kai clapped his hands loudly and stood up, “this surprise was made for you to be happy anyway! Do whatever you want with it!” After boldly exclaiming this statement, he turned around and mouthed a word of thanks at his three friends, before turning back to you. You were busy sucking helium from the balloons and did not see the interaction that just went down.

“Kai, can you hear it? I sound like a chipmunk!” You innocently smiled at him and sucked even more air out from the deflating “Merry Christmas” balloon.

Kai felt his heart start beating just a little faster, and he laughed quietly, before walking over to join you in your little helium endeavor.

The three boys saw this as an opportunity to step out, and waved goodbye to a giggling Kai and his future girlfriend. After leaving the cafe, they burst into a fit of laughs and fake gags.

“Nice idea Taehyun, they’re a cute bunch, aren’t they?” Yeonjun giggled as he fist-bumped a Taehyun who was fake gagging.

“Wait till Y/N sees what we have planned for her later, then maybe she won’t act so ‘cute’ anymore.” Taehyun said, laughing as he stared once more through the window of Magic Island at Kai (attempting to) impersonate a gorilla and you in a heap of laughter.

‘Race you to the house! Losers!” Beomgyu teased as the three of them started sprinting back to Yeonjun’s house, where the real party would begin.

5.34pm

You were standing in front of Yeonjun’s house, no, house wasn’t the right word to describe it, it was a huge, tall, extravagant, white mansion. Said white mansion was now decorated with a  wide assortment of Halloween decorations that ranged from fake graveyards that were stuck into the soil, live-sized skeletons, realistic looking decapitated heads, and a huge amount of gruesome plastic bones scattered on the entrance of the house. The roof of the mansion had orange lights and actual fire burning, probably to make the illusion of something scary, but you couldn’t point out what that seemed to be.

After the questionable event that occurred in Magic Island Cafe, the both of you decided to continue with the tradition: doing everything on the list from baking ghost cookies, watching Halloween movies together, carving pumpkins (even if they were super mushy this year), and last of all, trying out costumes.

Usually, the both of you would go to the small homely costume store that opened on the other end of town and try out the wackiest costumes, knowing that the both of you weren’t going to wear them out anytime soon. However, today was different. You were now about to face the tons of popular kids at your school, and you were dressed in an orange pumpkin costume and an idiotic pumpkin hat. To be frank, you looked like a cutie, and Kai knew it. He had made you wear this outfit to the party, and he matched with you by wearing the same pumpkin costume, the only difference being that his was black. Obviously, Kai wanted the both of you to match so that you guys could look like a couple, and so everyone would know that you were his. Your oblivious self however, did not comprehend the true intentions of his actions, and could only think about how cute Kai looked in his round black pumpkin costume.

As the both of you admired the scary decorations adorning the entrance of the mansion, and the menacing fire burning on the top, you turned to Kai and smirked. “Wow, Yeonjun and his team really went all out this year, huh?”

“Yeah...I didn’t think it would be this great…” Kai said with his mouth agape, still busy staring at the entire mansion from top to bottom. Honestly, he wasn’t expecting Yeonjun to put in this much time and effort into his little idea, but he was appreciative of his hyung and hoped that everything would go as planned.

Just then, the two enormous doors to the inside of the mansion opened, and someone in wearing a red sweater motioned for the two of you to come inside.

“Kai! I haven’t seen you for so long! Come inside!”

That girl was gorgeous. The epitome of all popular girls.

Kai smiled softly and ran up to her, giving her a warm hug while still wearing his pumpkin costume. At this sight, a tinge of jealousy sparked within you, but you did your best to hide it. Kai and this girl would be cute together, you thought to yourself. Two popular kids, one pretty, one handsome, it's no wonder i'm no match for Kai.

You walked up the steps afterwards and gave her a small nod as a greeting. She stayed at the entrance to greet other guests, but she kept eyeing you for some weird reason.

As you stepped in with Kai, you suddenly stopped in your tracks. Letting him trail in front of you, you awed at your surroundings. Oh my gosh. Even though you had been friends with Yeonjun since middle school, this was your first time visiting his house and you were shocked to say the least. Bright orange and grey fairy lights were placed on the extremely high ceiling of the house, and there was green slime hanging around the huge glass chandelier. The living hall was almost as big as your school cafeteria, with a long glass table at the corner filled with halloween themed snacks. There was a cauldron, an actual cauldron, with gory fruit punch, eyeball cake pops, spider pancakes, and so much more. Any halloween-themed food you named was probably on the table, and if it wasn’t, it could be whipped up within an hour by the private chef on hand.

Just then, Yeonjun came up to you. “So, how is it?”

Trying to hide your amusement and shock unlike Kai, who was hyperventilating over all the decorations and prancing around like a kid with too much candy, you merely responded. “It's okay, I guess.”

“Its okay, IT'S OKAY? Do you know how many days it took for us to make this for you-”

“HEY Y/N! Long time no see!” A hand was placed on Yeonjun’s shoulder, and he was shoved aside abruptly. Replacing him was Soobin.

“Omg! Soobin! It's been a long time. How’s it going?” You squealed, as you embraced the lanky boy.

You hadn’t realized that Kai was missing because you were too busy catching up with Soobin, and your oblivious self didn’t realize the lack of people in Yeonjun’s obnoxious living hall to realize that this was not a normal party.

7.07pm

“Alright, next participants! Kai and Y/N!” The staff at the front-desk of Haunted Matchmakers called out.

The both of you exchanged questioning looks at each other as you felt multiple pairs of eyes drawn to the both of your figures.

“Why were we the only ones that he called out?” You whispered to Kai, not expecting an answer.

“Probably because together, we’re special.” Kai turned his head and winked at you cutely.

Thank goodness the two of you were still in the dark waiting room, so he was unable to see your burning cheeks.

Little did you know, Kai’s cheeks were just as fiery as yours, if not hotter.

“Alright, you ready?” The waiting room assistant asked cheekily, as he shifted his gaze between the both of you, and gestured for the two of you to enter the menacing rusty entrance.

“Yes!” Kai shouted, and pumped his fist into the air.

You, on the other hand, was a scaredy-cat, and without thinking twice, you grasped onto Kai’s hand tightly, and shifted so close to him that both of your shoulders overlapped each other.

Kai could feel your nervousness, and he was nervous too, but for an entire different reason. After you grabbed his hand, his heart started hammering in his chest and his hands started becoming clammy.

Not wanting to waste his time, Kai screamed in glee and nodded at the assistant, who pushed open the rusty wooden door. He was about to walk in while still holding your hand, when he realized that you weren’t budging.

Kai was afraid that you were going to back out of the haunted house, and as he glanced back, he was met with a teary-eyed you, shivering and trying to wipe your stubborn tears with the sleeve of your pumpkin costume.

“Hey, Y/N, what's wrong?” Kai immediately crouched in front of you so that the both of you are at eye level. land you sniffle even more.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey. Y/N. I know you’re scared, but it’s alright. I’ll be with you every step of the way, okay?” Kai coaxed, running his thumb over your intertwined hands.

You looked up at Kai with your watery eyes, and nodded ever so slightly. Kai swore his heart could’ve melted right there and then.

Just then, you realized that there were people lining up behind you. The people, who, surprisingly, were patiently waiting as you and Kai shared your cheesy moment. Realizing that you were being an inconvenience for their halloween experience, you straightened up, fixed your fallen hair, and nodded at Kai as firmly as you possibly could.

With the rusty door ajar, the both of you confidently stepped inside. Your hand was engulfed in Kai’s, and as long as you were with him, the both of you would be able to get through anything together.

7.34pm

Take deep breaths. In, out, in out. Hee, hoo, hee, hoo. Y/N, you can do this. They’re just humans dressed in manufactured plastic, with a face full of over-the-top makeup. Remember what you said before, just now? When you’re with Kai, you can get through anythi-

“AHHHHHHHH!”

Your thoughts were interrupted by yet another piercing dolphin scream from the two of you after being jump-scared by the long-haired lady with a bad case of smallpox.

You had initially thought that Kai was the brave one here, but now that the both of you were finally experiencing the actual haunted house, you couldn’t decide who was more of the scaredy-cat.

Kai had already known about this plan and played the biggest part in the creation of Haunted Matchmakers. However, he was still scared because...well….it was you he was going to surprise...and, he’s still a baby at heart.

“Kai, I don’t think I can do this. I wanna go back to the entrance.” Your shaky voice shook him out of his thoughts.

“No, no, it's okay! We just finished the third room! We’re almost there! There’s only one more room left.”

“Wait...how do you know the amount of rooms this haunted house has?” Finally, your oblivious self had started to pick up on Kai’s many mishaps.

“Well, I, uh, I, I asked the admin staff when you went to the bathroom!” Kai exclaimed.

Suddenly, you realized that it was quiet. Too quiet. The eeriness was scaring you. There was no more haunted house music, no jump-scares, nobody else with the both of you.

You shakily clung onto Kai, hooking both of your arms between one of his and pressing your cheek into his neck.

“Kai, it doesn’t feel right. This place doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean? Of course it doesn’t feel right, we’re in a haunted house!”

“No...I mean, like, it doesn’t even feel like a haunted house anymore, it feels like something is…” You trailed off on your speech as you spotted a small Polaroid of a selfie of you and Kai taken many moons ago at Soobin’s birthday party.

When you were too busy stuck in your place as you tried processing what a picture of the both of you was doing on the wall of a haunted house, Kai had disappeared. He was there for a second, and suddenly, your arms were clinging onto nothing but air.

“Kai? Kai? Kai?! Don’t scare me like this! You know I hate jump-scares! You promised me that you would be with me every step of the way! Kai, stop playing around!  This isn’t funny anymore!” Tears were threatening to fall out of your eyes, and you started rapidly blinking and looking back and forth to see if Kai would be hiding behind a statue or corner just to scare you.

But no, he wasn’t there. He wasn’t anywhere.

Back in the control room, Kai frantically paced back and forth as Yeonjun stared through the screen at you, who was crouched down and silently sobbing. The sniffles you tried to hide echoed through the corridor, and Yeonjun knew that doing nothing wasn’t going to help.

Grabbing the walkie-talkie from the girl with the red sweater, who was sitting next to him looking at other screens on an armchair while mindlessly fiddling with said walkie-talkie in her hands, he turned the knob to channel 5 and spoke into it rapidly.

“Haeun, plan B. Get back inside to corridor 2, where Y/N is, and lead her to the beginning of the trail. This surprise won’t work if Y/N doesn’t start moving.”

7.42pm

You were sitting down on the ground, head in your arms, sobbing aimlessly as you thought to yourself. What kind of sick joke is this? Why isn’t anyone coming to scare me? Where did Kai go, why did he just leave with no explanation? Shouldn't someone come now to tell me to stand up and move on so that they can keep the line going?

Speak of the devil, you felt a light pat on the shoulder. Thinking that it was staff, you looked up to be met with a gory, bloody, devil mask. Squealing and screaming, you started running away, pushing off the hands that landed on your shoulders. Suddenly, said mask was removed, and you were met with a very familiar face. Haeun? Lee Haeun?

Lee Haeun was a close friend you met outside of school in a theme park when you were by yourself. She wasn’t close to anyone here, and she was one of the last people you expected to show up here.

“Hey, Y/N! Surprise, surprise, I'm here! Sorry for scaring you,  I forgot to remove my mask!’”

“Lee Haeun...what are you doing here? Wha-”

“I’ll explain later, for now, just keep moving forward. Promise you, there’ll be no jumpscares, no nothing. Just lots of love.” She winked at you, and she had pushed you forward without you noticing, so now you were standing in front of a closed door that had a purple letter stuck onto it.

“Open it,” Haeun gestured, and pat your back twice before leaving.

“What…?” Nonetheless, you listened to her, and grabbed the folded purple letter, carefully unfolding it to reveal Kai’s handwriting:

Dear sweet Y/N,

Hi, this is Kai. I have a feeling that you’re going to be really shocked and surprised right now. ‘What? This is a haunted house, why is a letter here? Also, where is Kai? I'm gonna slap that son of a…’, anyways, yes, I know that’s what you’re thinking right now, but trust me, it’ll all make sense as soon as you walk through this door. If you thought that I disappeared into thin air, don’t worry. I’m in a control room, and I can see you right now.

Upon reading this sentence, you looked around frantically and spotted a small camera with a red blinking light. You cheekily waved at it before looking back at the letter.

About this whole event...well...firstly, if you couldn’t tell already, this haunted house isn’t real. We set it up, yes, Y/N, and if you’re here reading this, that means everything is going to plan. I knew your oblivious self wouldn’t find out ehehe! However, I couldn’t have done this large-scale event myself, you see, I only have four close friends: Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, and Taehyun, and all of them helped me out on this large-scale project. No, Y/N, I didn’t forget about you (I can practically read your thoughts right now!). You see Y/N, we’re not friends, you’re not my best friend, you’re my..ne. You’re myne. You’re mine. Ugh, I’m going to shut up now. Open the door and see for yourself, beautiful Y/N.

Lots, and lots, and lots of love,

Kai ;)

You were appalled and bashful to say the least. Wait, this can’t be? This isn’t, this isn’t what I think it is. No way. He also just called me beautiful. Me, beautiful?

For your information, Y/N, you are beautiful. You’re gorgeous, more gorgeous than that girl in red, or whatever.

You carefully folded the letter and put it in the pocket of your costume, and nervously pushed open the door to reveal...Soobin.

Oh, Soobin. What’s he doing here?

Soobin was mischievously smiling at you, while gesturing with his hands to literally everything else besides him.

Only when you stopped open-mouthed gaping at the boy, you looked around and realized the wallpaper was...interesting. There were zillions of pictures of you and Kai, all from when you met, to just 3 days ago, glued to all 4 sides of the room, covering basically every spot of the wall until you couldn't even tell the color of the room itself. Cute little pumpkin fairy lights were hung, giving the room a warm orange glow. Soft and calming Halloween decorations and statues were situated around, and you spotted the same little witch statue as the one in the entrance of Magic Island Cafe. Wow, Kai, has really been focusing on his symbolism lessons in english class.

You walked every inch of the room, and you realized that all of the pictures on the left were when the both of you first met, and as they continued on to the right, the pictures taken became more and more recent, and at the end of the room were pictures of the both of you just this year.

Soobin snapped you out of your little room tour when he walked to the side of a brown cauldron, grimaced at it, and turned back to you with a plastic smile.

“Uh, stick your hand in it.”

You tilted your head in confusion as you went over to where he was and looked over the eerie looking cauldron. It was glowing, and was neon green. You were half expecting something to pop out to scare you. You turned back to Soobin.

“No.”

“Come, on! It's part of the process, ya know? To get things rolling.”

‘What, that's not a valid reason for me to stick my hand into something so gross. What am I gonna get out of it?”

Soobin smirked. “You'll get Kai’s love.”

As you felt a blush tinting the apple of your cheeks, you immediately stuck your hand into what you thought was liquid. It was definitely not green-colored water, it was green-colored Jello. You felt a hard plate, and was about to remove your hand from the gruesome, slimy solid, when Soobin wrapped his fingers around your arm and gestured for you to lift whatever you had grabbed.

What you pulled up was not a plate, it was a picture frame. Inside said picture frame was a photo of a memory you wanted to forget forever. It was a picture of you and Kai, you in your hideous cake pop costume and Kai in his cute colorful jellyfish costume. The picture was taken by the both of your moms after the first day of school. Your mother, seeing that you had only made one friend, wanted to cherish the sacred moment. In said photo, both of your arms were slung over each other and your heads were leaning against each other. Kai had a crooked smile on his face, and you were happy as you could ever be.

On the frame were 4 words written in Kai’s writing with a sharpie. Said four words were enough to make you tear up.

“My Little Dirt Ball.”

Soobin, noticing your entranced state, tapped your shoulder.

“Flip to the back of the frame.”

Behind the picture frame was a sticky note attached. You plucked it off the back and squinted your eyes to read the small print.

Hey Y/N, I know you hate that picture, but it's my favorite, because the picture was taken on the day I met you. To continue our journey together, pull the back frame open, and insert the key inside to the orange door. Thank you, Y/N. Like I said earlier, we’ll get through this together, and I’ll see you on the other side.

Impatient to see Kai, you quickly, but carefully, pulled open the back frame, revealing a golden key. After grabbing the key and firmly wrapping your palm around it, you ran to the orange door and with shaky hands, inserted the key and twisted it. The door immediately swung open.

Behind the ajar door was a nervous Kai, still blessed with the same crooked smile as all those years ago. He was still rocking the same black pumpkin costume, and you were too mesmerized by his beauty to notice everyone else around him.

Soobin entered after you, and guided you to be right iinfront of Kai. You were now right in front of him, looking at his eyes, his gorgeous eyes, his presence, just, being with Kai. You couldn’t believe it. Your crush for almost a decade just confessed to you, in the most extra way possible. You loved it.

You looked up to see a huge banner that read: Y/N L/N, will you be myne?Around Kai was all your friends, all from different places:. Yeonjun and the gang, joined by Soobin, Haeun and your girls’ clique, the emo dude that you’re really chill with, the list goes on and on.

A beautiful voice broke you out from dreamland, to enter into yet another one.

“Y/N, will you be mine?”

You looked back at the boy you loved, and ran forward, practically throwing yourself onto him. You smashed your lips onto his, not caring that all of your friends were watching.

Kai was shocked at your sudden bold action, but quickly pulled himself together and kissed you back.

If you could describe the best feeling in the world, it was this. Fireworks erupted in your head, and all you could think about was those soft, plump lips and the boy who owned them. Kai put his arm around your waist, and the other behind your head, and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

You were doing it. You really were. You were kissing Kai Kamal Huening. In front of everyone, and you didn’t care.

It’s childish, one could say, to see two people dressed in child-like costumes practically making out with each other. However, in your opinion, that was what your love was. It was extra, childish, weird, and unlike any other typical highschooler’s romantic relationship. You wouldn’t change it for anything else.

BONUS

After the extremely extra confession took place successfully, the real Halloween party could finally commence. After all, Yeonjun hadn’t decorated his place for nothing. There was now an assortment of alcohol displayed everywhere, and suddenly the huge living hall didn’t seem so big anymore, as there were people from all over the town invited and it was getting quite cramped. Yeonjun, however, didn’t fail to notice the two of you at a small carpeted corner, just chatting. You had changed out of your pumpkin costume, and was now wearing Kai’s baby blue hoodie. Both of your hands were intertwined in his and they were being swung back and forth as you giggled about an inside joke that no one else would ever understand.

As Yeonjun quietly observed the two new lovebirds, a red object appeared in his peripheral vision. Looking down, he sighed in content. Her again.

“Yeonjun! Success, right? I knew we could do it!” She was crouching down, cutely looking at him in his eyes. She took his hand and smashed it against hers trying to imitate a high 5, while giving him a gleaming, enthusiastic smile. Yeonjun lifted the corners of his lips slightly, and squeezed her into a tight hug, earning a shocked gasp from her as she put her arms around his neck.

Choi Yeonjun better start planning out his confession soon.

© magicisland9-34. do not repost.

click here to return this book back to the library.

[alientitty]

its nearly midnight (now past midnight as i finish the post) and here are my tips on doing laundry:

you can take it or leave it (i’m just some guy) but i have been doing it myself or with my mom for the better part of 15 years and realize there’s people my age or younger who struggle having to do it themselves

it depends on your washer, but most items that say “hand wash only” will usually be fine on gentle cycle in a lingerie bag (or pillowcase). similarly, most “line dry” or “dry flat” items will survive just fine on a hanger. but if you have a lot of fragile things it may be a good idea to invest in a drying rack

separating it out by color: well if you gotta do two loads you might as well. but most modern laundry detergents don’t usually bleed the dyes so it’s really not necessary. the exceptions are: first wash on a garment with color bleed warnings, and sometimes you will get that one pair of jeans that really does bleed all over the shout every damn time.

dry clean only is a pain in the ass, but you can ruin and shrink garments that react badly to water. running it on air dry with some sheet might smell nice but it won’t remove the oils from your skin. that being said you can cheat it a little--some synthetics like rayon and acrylic can get wet and still retain shape, especially if in a blend (viscose is also rayon, and only the softest, most delicate and expensive weaves are actually “faux silk” that is too weak to support itself when wet). if it’s 100% silk or wool, though, get that shit cleaned properly.

which brings me to...care instructions! read them! you can greatly extend the life of fast fashion items, for example, by keeping them out of the dryer and running them on gentle cycle. the biggest factors in wearing out your clothes (besides actually wearing them) are the spin cycle and the DRYER (especially heat, but also getting tossed around with other clothes).

similarly, read the fabrics! knowing what your clothes are made of helps you know which directions you can ignore to make your life easier. 100% cotton really can shrink, but synthetics like nylon and polyester are basically plastics and there is a risk of melting if they’re not rated safe for dryers. rayon is basically wood pulp and is more brittle than cotton or linen when wet, but if it’s not particularly fine, and especially if it’s mixed with other materials, it can often support itself enough to dry nicely. search engines are your friend if you’re not sure what a fabric can take

you can also extend the life and color of many items by washing them inside out--some say so on instructions! for everyday use i haven’t had a problem with gentle cycle (the main downside is that a less violent spin cycle means they’re more damp coming out of the machine) and low heat for dryer pretty much everything. but anything that can go in a dryer can also be hung up. just make sure to straighten it out a little so it doesn’t air dry into funky shapes.

other tips for extending life: wash everything cold unless you’re doing something special

if you’ve got enough to justify it, do towels and sheets separately. they can handle the rougher spin, hot water and high dryer heat without shrinking

don’t put your bras in the dryer..they already get rough treatment and are so expensive. in fact, get a lingerie bag for them and other gentle items (i promise you can find one at the 99 cent store if need be, so price is not an excuse!)

ironing--i pretty much never do this, but... when you do need to, err on the side of caution with lower heat and plenty of steam (if called for)--oh, and have your clothes inside-out! (with only one layer of fabric between the iron and the board.) follow the tags as this is another case where you risk damaging the garment by going in too hot. you’ll probably have to go slower than you like, and sometimes you do need to hold the iron on an area for it to conform, just keep it to only a couple seconds and go in multiple times to avoid burning (i think? once again this is tedious and i hate it). to make sure your clothes are flat, look  at the seams and try to make out the different pieces of fabric, laying out each section as flat as you can and ironing just that area. that narrow end of the ironing board is designed for sleeves and anything else that’s more tube than square.

stains: will go away best when fresh. turn the garment inside out, run under cold water, and rub it out with dish or hand soap.

old stains: while hot water can set new stains, it will drag old ones out of the fabric (still work inside out to “raise the stain”). these are a bit more work to get. you can scrub with baking soda & water paste, diluted lemon juice/vinegar, or watered down dish soap, and alternate between soaking it, scrubbing vigorously, rinsing and repeating. (you may want to test the cleaning agent another part of the fabric if you’re worried about discoloration)

my personal low-effort favorite that seems to be working, though, is to soak it in diluted dish soap (or just slather with dish soap and hope it’s still effective if you’re me) and let it fuck off for 3 hours to 3 days before laundry day. rinse out most of the soap before throwing it in the machine so those mega-suds don’t kill your washer.

for tough stains they may have to go through multiple treatments and washes. i usually just have some clothes on standby to be treated and thrown in with regular laundry, though if you have a lot of stained items you can d a whole load of just them in hot water (and alternate with treating until the stains go away) (wayy to much work for me though)

for the love of god, DON’T PUT ANYTHING STAINED IN THE DRYER if you want it to wash out. it’s not impossible to get out all set stains (i’ve done it), but it’s a bitch and a half to do. some garments may truly be beyond rescue

i have never used bleach on a garment in my life. some garments can handle it (often no chlorine) but as far as i’m concerned that shit’s just for killing bacteria

the dreaded folding--well it depends on your personality but here’s what helps me:

put your freshly dried clothes in a basket (mine was 3 bucks at walmart--once again, no excuse, do this. it will be good for you.). and preferably put it down near a surface you’ll use for folding. (a bed or couch works just as well as a countertop)

my strategy is to get it done right away. the moment it’s out of the dryer, we don’t sit down until everything’s all set for folding. and then we sit where we fold

similarly, it helps to do it in the same place every time so it becomes a habit. i always fold mine while watching tv.

reward yourself and relax for a minute after you’re done. you’ve completed a big task!

[knifeshoeoreofight]

Part 4/?

(part 1 here)

(part 2 here)

(part 3 here) 

The flight to Florida barely takes an hour. Zhenya mentally grumbles about going slow but Sid does the math and they’re easily breaking the sound barrier. Once they arrive, he has Zhenya set them down on the endless, baking hot roof of a Walmart. 

Sid didn’t know quite what Zhenya’s definition of “human resources” was, but he hadn’t been expecting an actual goddamn briefcase filled with money. These aliens, he is beginning to suspect, have watched way too many movies. 

We managed to obtain currency on a scouting mission, Zhenya explains. Then we replicated it. 

Well then. 

Sid ducks into the Walmart and buys a burner phone with web browsing capabilities. He drops a bunch of Zhenya’s money on Visa gift cards, then goes to the grocery store down the street and buys even more. At least he’ll be able to use the cards without showing any activity on his own account. On a whim he grabs a touristy keychain from a stand by the register. 

“For your shrine,” he says with a smile when he returns to the ship. Zhenya glows and glows.

“Ok,” Sid says. “We need to strategize. We need somewhere that isn’t near people for us to hide out while you do your thing.” 

He pulls up Google Maps on his phone and shows Zhenya the Keys. 

“Maybe here somewhere. We’ll need space to put your ship and an actual human house that I can stay in. We can always go back to Miami for your research later.” 

He scrolls through Airbnb for a long time, Zhenya peering over his shoulder to provide commentary. 

Pick a nice place Zhenya tells him. One that will be pleasant for you while you have to wait by yourself. He feels fretful and a little guilty, so Sid smiles up at him. 

“This is going to be a relaxing vacation for me,” he insists. “Please, let me be the least of your worries.” 

You…

Flickering colors, bright enough to leave their impression behind when Sid closes his eyes. 

 Hardly the least. Never the least. 

They’re caught in a strange, weighted moment, Sid staring up into Zhenya’s fathomless eyes, the telepathic link humming with...something. 

Zhenya says something in his own language, the sound so deep Sid can barely hear it, just feels it resonate through his chest. The subharmonics in it raise the hair on the back of his neck. 

He tears his eyes away and refocuses on the jarring mundanity of a three bedroom condo in Key Largo. 

***

Zhenya is the one who picks the place, in the end. It’s called Seabird Key, and it’s a house set on what practically amounts to it’s own little island. There’s a private beach, and a small boat with an outboard. It’s expensive, but Zhenya digs his heels in. There is room to put the ship down among the trees, and he likes the beach. 

I will need to learn how to use the body, on many different kinds of terrain, he explains. In privacy so it doesn’t attract attention. 

Sid handles meeting with the caretaker for the keys, and when night falls, they venture outside of the ship. It will be Zhenya’s last chance to spend time outside for a month. 

They stand on the sand, watching the lights of the town on the opposite shore paint the inky water with light. Zhenya’s own lights are as dim as possible in order not to attract attention. Sid has to smile. It’s like he has to whisper. 

Eventually, the oxygen rich air makes Zhenya cough, and they head into the ship. The apparatus Zhenya will be using to revamp his genetics reminds Sid of a butterfly cocoon, it’s design that curious blend of organic and artificial that characterizes all of Zhenya’s tech. 

Sid can’t help but worry, and it must bleed across the link. Zhenya brushes one of his tentacle-like appendages across the top of Sid’s head. 

It will be fine. My people are very accustomed to this process. 

He frowns a little. He’s been practicing mirroring Sid’s human expressions. My only concern is our link. I hear that we dream during the process, sometimes. I don’t know how much of that you will be affected by. 

“Huh, that must explain the strange dreams I’ve been having lately,” Sid muses. “All these weird colors and shapes.“

Zhenya blinks. Maybe. Our bond is unusually strong, maybe some combination of human brain compatibility plus the large volume of speaking we have been doing. I hope… there is no telling, even with all of our preparation, of knowing how strong my abilities will be, after. 

Sid’s been worrying as well, but he sends reassurance through the link as best he can. 

“We’ll deal with things as they come,” he says, and watches as Zhenya folds himself into the pod, its cover sealing with a hiss. 

Until then Zhenya thinks, then the link fades into silence as the anesthetic he’d told Sid about floods his system. 

Sid ends up sitting on the floor of the ship for a long time, staring at the softly glowing lights and mysterious, veinlike tubes keeping Zhenya alive. 

A month feels like a really, really long time. 

[davidmann95]

Superman’s 10 Best of the ‘10s

Good Miracle Monday, folks! The first third Monday of May of a new decade for that matter, and while that means that today in the DC Universe Superman just revealed his secret identity to the world on the latest anniversary of that time he defeated the devil, in ours it puts a capstone on a solid 10 years of his adventures now in the rear view mirror, ripe for reevaluation. And given there’s a nice solid ‘10′ right there I’ll go ahead with the obvious and list my own top ten for Superman comics of the past decade, with links in the titles to those I’ve spoken on in depth before - maybe you’ll find something you overlooked, or at least be reminded of good times.

A plethora of honorable mentions: I’m disqualifying team-ups or analogue character stories, but no list of the great Superman material of the last decade would be complete without bringing up Cave Carson Has A Cybernetic Eye #7, Avengers 34.1, Irredeemable, Sideways Annual #1, Supreme: Blue Rose, Justice League: Sixth Dimension, usage of him in Wonder Twins, (somewhat in spite of itself) Superior, from all I’ve heard New Super-Man, DCeased #5, and Batman: Super Friends. And while they couldn’t quite squeeze in, all due praise to the largely entertaining Superman: Unchained, the decades’ great Luthor epic in Superman: The Black Ring, a brilliant accompaniment to Scott Snyder’s work with Lex in Lex Luthor: Year of the Villain, the bonkers joy of the Superman/Luthor feature in Walmart’s Crisis On Infinite Earths tie-in comics, Geoff Johns and John Romita’s last-minute win in their Superman run with their final story 24 Hours, Tom Taylor’s quiet criticism of the very premise he was working with on Injustice and bitter reflection on the changing tides for the character in The Man of Yesterday, the decades’ most consistent Superman ongoing in Bryan Miller and company’s Smallville Season 11, and Superman: American Alien, which probably would have made the top ten but has been dropped like a hot potato by one and all for Reasons. In addition are several stories from Adventures of Superman, a book with enough winners to merit a class of its own: Rob Williams and Chris Weston’s thoughtful Savior, Kyle Killen and Pia Guerra’s haunting The Way These Things Begin, Marc Guggenheim and Joe Bennett’s heart-wrenching Tears For Krypton, Christos Gage and Eduardo Francisco’s melancholy Flowers For Bizarro, Josh Elder and Victor Ibanez’s deeply sappy but deeply effective Dear Superman, Ron Marz and Doc Shaner’s crowdpleasing Only Child, and Kelly Sue DeConnick and Valentine DeLandro’s super-sweet Mystery Box.

10. Greg Pak/Aaron Kuder’s Action Comics

Oh, what might’ve been. In spite of an all-timer creative team I can’t justify listing this run any higher given how profoundly and comprehensively compromised it is, from the status quo it was working with to the litany of ill-conceived crossovers to regular filler artists to its ignominious non-ending. But with the most visceral, dynamic, and truly humane take on Clark Kent perhaps of all time that still lives up to all Superman entails, and an indisputably iconic instant-classic moment to its name, I can’t justify excluding it either.

9. Action Comics #1000

Arguably the climax to the decade for the character as his original title became the first superhero comic to reach a 1000th issue. While any anthology of this sort is a crapshoot by nature, everyone involved here seemed to understand the enormity of the occasion and stepped up as best they could; while the lack of a Lois Lane story is indefensible, some are inevitably bland, and one or two are more than a bit bizarre, by and large this was a thoroughly charming tribute to the character and his history with a handful of legitimate all-timer short stories.

8. Faster Than A Bullet

Much as Adventures of Superman was rightfully considered an oasis amidst the New 52′s worst excesses post-Morrison and in part pre-Pak, few stories from it seem well-remembered now, and even at the time this third issue inexplicably seemed to draw little attention. Regardless, Matt Kindt and Stephen Segovia’s depiction of an hour in the life of Superman as he saves four planets first thing in the morning without anyone noticing - while clumsy in its efforts at paralleling the main events with a literal subplot of a conversation between Lois and Lex - is one of the best takes I can recall on the scope on which he operates, and ultimately the purpose of Clark Kent.

7. Man and Superman

Seemingly geared on every front against me, built as it was on several ideas of how to handle Superman’s origin I legitimately hate, and by a writer whose work over the years has rarely been to my liking, Marv Wolfman and Claudio Castellini’s Man and Superman somehow came out of nowhere to be one of my favorite takes on Clark Kent’s early days. With a Metropolis and characters within it that feel not only alive but lived-in, it’s shocking that a story written and drawn over ten years before it was actually published prefigured so many future approaches to its subject, and felt so of-the-moment in its depiction of a 20-something scrambling to figure out how to squeeze into his niche in the world when it actually reached stores.

6. Brian Bendis’s run

Controversial in the extreme, and indeed heir to several of Brian Bendis’s longstanding weaknesses as a writer, his work on The Man of Steel, Superman, and Action Comics has nevertheless been defined at least as much by its ambition and intuitive grasp of its lead, as well as fistfuls of some of the best artistic accompaniment in the industry. At turns bombastic space action, disaster flick, spy-fi, oddball crime serial, and family drama, its assorted diversions and legitimate attempts at shaking up the formula - or driving it into new territory altogether, as in the latest, apparently more longterm-minded unmasking of Clark Kent in Truth - have remained anchored and made palatable by an understanding of Superman’s voice, insecurities, and convictions that go virtually unmatched.

5. Strange Visitor

The boldest, most out-of-left-field Superman comic of the past 10 years, Joe Keatinge took the logline of Adventures of Superman to do whatever creators wanted with the character and, rather than getting back to a classic take absent from the mainline titles at the time as most others did, used the opportunity for a wildly expansive exploration of the hero from his second year in action to his far-distant final adventure. Alongside a murderer’s row of artists, Keatinge pulled off one of the few comics purely about how great Superman is that rather than falling prey to hollow self-indulgence actually managed to capture the wonder of its subject.

4. Superman: Up In The Sky

And here’s the other big “Superman’s just the best” comic the decade had to offer that actually pulled it off. Sadly if reasonably best-known for its one true misfire of a chapter, with the increasing antipathy towards Tom King among fans in general likely not helping, what ended up overlooked is that this is a stone-cold classic on moment of arrival. Andy Kubert turns in work that stands alongside the best of his career, Tom King’s style is honed to its cleanest edge by the 12-pager format and subject matter, and the quest they set their lead out on ends up a perfect vehicle to explore Superman’s drive to save others from a multitude of angles. I don’t know what its reputation will end up being in the long-term - I was struck how prosaic and subdued the back cover description was when I got this in hardcover, without any of the fanfare or critic quotes you’d expect from the writer of Mister Miracle and Vision tackling Superman - but while its one big problem prevents me from ranking it higher, this is going to remain an all-timer for me.

3. Jeff Loveness’s stories Help and Glasses

Cheating shamelessly here, but Jeff Loveness’s Help with David Williams and Glasses with Tom Grummett are absolutely two halves of the same coin, a pair of theses on Superman’s enduring relevance as a figure of hope and the core of Lois and Clark’s relationship that end up covering both sides of Superman the icon and Superman the guy. While basically illustrated essays, any sense of detached lecturing is utterly forbidden by the raw emotion on display here that instantly made them some of the most acclaimed Superman stories of the last several years; they’re basically guaranteed to remain in ‘best-of’ collections from now until the end of time.

2. Superman Smashes The Klan

A bitter race for the top spot, but #2 is no shame here; while not quite my favorite Superman story of the past ten years, it’s probably the most perfectly executed. While I don’t think anyone could have quite expected just *how* relevant this would be at the top of the decade, Gene Yang and Gurihiru put together an adventure in the best tradition of the Fleischer shorts and the occasional bystander-centered episodes of Batman: The Animated Series to explore racism’s both overt and subtle infections of society’s norms and institutions, the immigrant experience, and both of its leads’ senses of alienation and justice. Exciting, stirring, and insightful, it’s debuted to largely universal acknowledgement as being the best Superman story in years, and hopefully it’ll be continued to be marketed as such long-term.

1. Grant Morrison’s Action Comics

When it came time to make the hard choice, it came in no small part down to that I don’t think we would have ever seen a major Golden Age Superman revival project like Smashes The Klan in the first place if not for this. Even hampering by that godawful Jim Lee armor, inconsistent (if still generally very good) art, and a fandom that largely misunderstood it on arrival can’t detract from that this is Grant Morrison’s run on a Superman ongoing, a journey through Superman’s development as a character reframed as a coherent arc that takes him from Metropolis’s most beaten-down neighborhoods to the edge of the fifth dimension and the monstrous outermost limits of ‘Superman’ as a concept. It launched discussions of Superman as a corporate icon and his place relative to authority structures that have never entirely vanished, introduced multiple all-time great new villains, and made ‘t-shirt Superman’ a distinct era and mode of operation for the character that I’m skeptical will ever entirely go away. No other work on the character this decade had the bombast, scope, complexity, or ambition of this run, with few able to match its charm or heart. And once again, it was, cannot stress this enough, Grant Morrison on an ongoing Superman book.

[grillsadvisor]

Best Grills Under $400! [ Wood Pellet, Charcoal, Propane Gas ]

We decided to test all of the best grills under $400 and find the best one for you. After hours of research and testing, we came up with a list of our top 6 favorite grills for this year. Looking For the Best Grills Under $400? Here Are Some Features to Consider - Temperature range: Ideally, you want your grill to reach temperatures between 200-500°F. This allows for low and slow cooking, as well as high-searing heat for those perfect grill marks. - Ignition type: Look at the ignition system of your grill. Make sure it's easy to light and reliable so that you can get cooking without any issues or hassle. - Cooking area: The size of the grilling surface makes a difference in how many burgers or hot dogs you can make all at once. Choose a model with enough space for all your food needs. - Fuel type: Do you prefer charcoal grilling or gas? Different fuel types have different pros and cons, so decide what works best for you before making your purchase. Top 3 grills under $400 on 2023 Best outdoor grills under $400 The best pellet grill under $400 Z GRILLS ZPG 550B Review https://youtu.be/vrC-aswbuMU The best portable wood pellet grill under $400 The best  kamado ceramic grill under $400 Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Charcoal Grill FAQ   Welcome back to Little Pig Barbeque! Today we're reviewing one of my favorite grills, the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado. This grill is perfect for those who love BBQ but want an easier and quicker cooking experience without sacrificing flavor or quality ingredients that can't wait around on your smoker (darned thing). We'll be getting into all sorts of stuff today so stay tuned if you've got some time constraints like me or just need something simple in order to get dinner started quickly. If you're in the market for a Kamado-style cooker, whether it be big or small and you don't want to spend too much money on them. This video is perfect then because I am going over some of my favorite affordable alternatives that will get your mouth watering while cooking delicious food without breaking anyone's bank account. You've got to see this! Come with me, I'll show you how great these grills can cook. The Char-Griller Akorn is our pick of the day and it won't be long before your mouth water from all that juicy goodness coming off a cooked meal onto one's plate.  This isn't a new cooker; it's been out for several years. There is plenty of information on the internet, YouTube, and Google about this product so you know all there is to learn before making your purchase decision. So, I'm not going to tell you anything new that can't already be found on the internet. But let me give a quick run-through of why this product may very well become your favorite Kamado. This cooker is not your average ceramic-style pot, it’s metal It has double-wall insulation to keep food warm, and an air gap all around its top & bottom which means it will be able to hold onto heat better than most other pots out there. The Weber gas grill is a great starter product, but I have found that the Akorn brand provides better performance. This one holds my food at just about perfect temperature and it's very easy to use. This grill has a ton of features! I'm just going to take you through some that really caught my eye. The cheap and easy way to get a great backyard grill is by going with this cooker. You can find it at Walmart, Lowe's Home Depot, or anywhere else for under $300. Anyway, let's get into this first thing. You'll notice you got these nice side tables here - they're very nifty indeed. I've had pork on my previous visits with no issues at all; everything has been stable and easily stored when not in use (both of 'em fold down for storage). With the tables down, you can slide this into a small space. It works perfectly. Here, it has some hooks for your tools which is a nice feature. Use that often for my tongs and even the grill brush or grapefruit scrubber! So far this product works perfectly as advertised - no complaints from me. The wheels on this grill are not anything special, but they get the job done. There are two LA-style front wheels and then you have a swivel castor with an unlockable back tire for added portability. This thing is so easy to control with one hand. There's no problem going in any direction you want, and it feels really stable. The bottom of this handsome barbecue has a shelf that's perfect for holding your heat deflector or charcoal when grilling. If you want, it can be used as an extension to reach ingredients. The temperature control is so easy. For controlling your temperature, you got this nice sliding vent. Just like an oven, you have a dial with numbers on it that lets your cook know what setting they need to use for their dish - whether it's low heat or high. If you're smoking at around 225-250, it's going to be about 1. And that leaves a very narrow gap for your airflow there. The dial on this thing is really easy to adjust and understand, which makes cooking with it a breeze. You can set the temperature quickly without getting lost in all those numbers. The grill is perfect for those who want to cook at precise temperatures. It won't fluctuate more than 10 degrees all day long, so you can be sure your food will always stay warm or hot.  Well, this grill gets up to 700 degrees on the thermometer. I've had it pegged out just playing around with fire: no problem at all! One chimney of lump charcoal will reach that temperature before you know what's happening (700). You can get a really nice sear on food with high heat, but it's not necessary for most other cooking methods. I don't know why you would want to use such intense flames when there are much less harsh temperatures out there that create similar results and take far less time. The durable metal construction of this grill makes it strong enough to withstand any accident. The sleek design and easy-to-use features will have you cooking like a pro in no time. The durability of this grill is unrivaled. It can stand up to even the most stubborn tip, bump or fall without cracking.   Well, if you tip over a big green egg or bump into something really hard then there's a good chance that crack will spread across your whole cookware. This grill is built like a tank. Built to last and stand up against even the most stubborn of flames, this thing will be around for years with you - so long as it doesn't get blown away by some unexpected breeze. Let's open it up and check the inside out. This smoker has some great features, like the double-wall insulated cooking area which keeps food warmer longer. This will be perfect for those who want their meat slow-smoked or low and gentle. The heavy-duty stainless steel frame is perfect for cooking meals or wrapping food to keep it warm. The warming rack can also be removed and washed easily, making this an excellent addition even if you don't use it often. So, this will be either a good thing or bad depending on how you look at it. The best part about these cast-iron grates is they can be seasoned whenever you want to smoke or grill This means the seasoning won't wear off as quickly and it'll last for a really long time. But when you heat it up for the first time and make sure to keep your spice rub well-done, not only will that burnt flavor be gone but so too any chance of seafood stink happening. What you can see here is that there was some surface rust. But after a quick wipe with my handkerchief and then brushing it off, all of this will scrape away easily. I'm probably going to do some low and slow cooking with it next time, so I'll spray the griddle beforehand. When you heat up your food on this thing quickly after applying seasonings like a liquid sauce or oil will keep them from burning while they're sitting there waiting for me. The quality of the sear marks is really good. This product intelligently channels heat to ensure even cooking all over your food, which results in a beautifully browned crust on top while staying tender inside. The center insert here actually comes out. It will pop up and I believe you can get some accessories to go in there! Not sure what would work, but saw videos on YouTube of guys putting their own little things into this compartment like straps or clips for more storage space if needed. Well, I don't have any special tools to help me with my grill. It's just an open flame that smokes everything over. I'll get this grade out of the way so we can move on. I set it underneath for a minute. The accessory is really great. I ordered it and you can use it as a pizza stone, but unfortunately, this accessory doesn't come with the purchase - you have to buy it separately (but for less than $30/40$). This accessory is perfect for anyone who wants to cook with low and slow heat It lets you have that same type of experience on your gas grill, just like what happens when using an oven-friendly unit such as a Kamado Joe or Green Egg. People have said that the material is really durable, but some people reported cracks after a few months of use. I don’t know if it's because they didn't take care or something else entirely happened so be careful and don’t drop. The Char-Broil Egg has many similarities to other styles, but there are also key differences. The most notable difference is that it features fire bowl technology instead of metal inserts within the inner pot for ash disposal like you find with big green eggs; this means more durability and easier cleanup. You can use this grill to fill up with typically in AMO. You would have lump-style charts, but if you want an even easier way then just brick ETS. The holes on this great grill allow for the ash to fall through just like any other type of charcoal grill, which means you don't have as many messes and can easily clean up after yourself. The reason you can’t use brick ETS in other grills is that the holes are small and get clogged easily with ash. But, if you use briquettes I found that it is not only easier on the earth but also there are no problems when burning.  Well, this is what we call a heat deflector and it helps hold the temperature in. You got an air gap around which is great for holding onto that warmth. We'll get our deflector back here so that it works just as well. I can already tell that this is going to be an amazing product! The first thing people usually complain about with big green eggs is how hard it seems to clean. You have to take all this stuff out. You'll sweep up the Ash into your cart and then get underneath it, where you can kind of vacuum away any remaining particles with a brush or mop head before sweeping them back outside again so they don't come inside.  The designers behind this design have chosen to use a latch system so that when you flip the switch on one side, all of its counterparts will become accessible. So now you've got a fully charged Ash in there. All that's left to do is dump it out if there are any little pieces of grease or anything like that And they just slip right back into place. You may think that by clamping the heating element in place, you'll lose all of your heat or maybe even some smoke out. But this isn't true. When that's clamped in, that's gonna push that thing up to the gasket seal. The build quality is really impressive. It has no smoke or heat leaking out of it, which you can't do with a traditional-style Kamado because they're designed to let through as much airflow possible for fast and even cooking without compromising on safety standards. This thing is so versatile, it'll please any palate. If you're on a budget and can only get one cooker then this would be my recommendation for what's right at $300. You can do anything you want with your smoker. You may have noticed that I didn't say "smoker" - it's because there is no such thing. A good quality grill will get the job done just as well, and in some cases better than a traditional pitmaster’s tool of choice for many years now. You can also do some intense searing on meats or fish while grilling them at high temperatures for a longer period of time in order to achieve certain flavors that are only found by cooking these types of foods this way. The best temperature to run your grill is about 250-275 degrees Fahrenheit. And if you fill it up with charcoal, I've had the fire burn for 10 hours before without stopping. The food is evenly cooked all the way around, and anything you put on turns out great. And honestly - there's not much more to it than that. You just throw some smoking wood onto your fire; then sit back and enjoy your time. You can put your food on and not have to worry about it until it's done. The product is built extremely well, and you'll be really impressed with how sturdy it feels. I've seen some complaints that the negative side of this product is rust. Yeah, it's gonna start rusted immediately when you bring your outdoor fire pit inside and leave for an extended period of time without using protection from rain or snowfall; but if taken care of with regular cleaning then there shouldn't be any problems. I had another one before this, and it was outside for about two years. The rust wasn't bad though - just some surface grime on the bolts or screws that hold its legs together (no big deal). They were just a little bit rusted, but not enough that I thought it would be hard to clean up or ruin them.  In order to keep your grill safe from the elements, it is important that you do not forget about its exterior. Just keep it covered and make sure you're storing things properly in the winter months. That's all there is to do. Well, if you like this cooker then I want to know what's up with it. Let me know your thoughts on the product. Hope you found this review of the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Grill helpful. The information it provides will be sure to enhance your knowledge and experience with any future purchases! The best grill and griddle combo under $400 Royal Gourmet GD401 FAQ The best charcoal grill under $400   Weber Performer Charcoal Grill FAQ I am here to talk about the Weber Performance Deluxe Charcoal Grill and how it will make your next camping trip more enjoyable.  This product includes everything you need in one package: A charcoal grill with a built-in gas ignition system as well as a side shell for easy transportability on any terrain type; durable construction made especially lightweight so carrying this around isn't too much burden even when fully loaded down - you'll be able to set up shop wherever there's space left over at home because let me tell ya', these grills are big sellers among outdoor enthusiasts everywhere. He has a nice side shelf on there, perfect for prepping food or serving your dish. He also gets an extra-large workspace with plenty of storage underneath and two drawers at the other end where you can put anything else that needs storing away. Plus those big wheels make moving around super simple no matter which direction he's going in regards to his workspace. You can wheel it about if you want, or put it away at different times when not in use. There's a bin for Charcoal and one to hold regular garbage - but why not take advantage of its other features too? This little box here is our timer. If you want to cook in time, use that. Thermometers these days are really good at noticing when food's ready because they have a lot more sensors than just one spirit thermometer used traditionally past years would've had on them. With our kettle now black enamel coated, it will be easy for us to keep a clean temperature gauge on top. We'll also have vents at both the bottom and top of this grill in order to control its warmth or coolness as needed.  The grill is equipped with several features that allow you to maintain your desired temperature while cooking, including an ash collection system. The more air flowing into it and the higher heat around 180 degrees Fahrenheit will ensure thorough roasting of food inside without burning them on any side! After you've finished, there's an easy system to get rid of your coal and ash. What's nice about this metal bar that goes around the edge here, and just holds your lid. You don’t have to hold onto anything when cooking; it sits like so on top of our grill (in front) with two big handles for easy access. The bit patterns also allow you to stain whatever surface they are sitting next to we gutted part way through building ours which made moving coals easier than ever before since all surfaces got stained at once. Cleanup couldn't be simpler either -all one has to do is want their stovetop to look spotless again. The GBS system comes out, which is great for cooking pizza stones and other items. You can cook in all sorts of different ways with this grill! Inside the main chamber are standard drip pans so your juices will go right there too if you're roasting something like chickens or ducks; they'll keep their moisture inside instead of wasting it on an unneeded surface area outside where no one wants them (or needs more than one). This is how to cook like a pro. charcoal trays are great for grilling and roasting meat, but they also work perfectly as a grill surface when you want the flavor of direct flame without all that Ash versus indirect heat messiness! To use one simply put some Charcoal into each slot then place it over your desired cooking method (indirect vs middle) - either way this bad boy will deliver amazing results every time. The barbecue is a great way to cook food and also have fun You can use gas, which we've got here in this canister as well as lit by pressing down on it with your finger until there's an ignite button underneath where you put wood chips or whatever else suits your needs best. With the Weber Performer Charcoal Grill, you can light up your charcoal in no time. There's never been an easier way to get that fire started! Simply attach a lighter cube onto one end of it and then use its gas power from either below or above - whichever works best for where they're going on their grill at any given moment (and there won't be much transition). Once lit with ease thanks to both these innovative features combined together...you'll never need another method again when wanting high temperatures fast; just turn it off once everything looks ready. The best 4-burner propane gas grill under $400 Char-Broil Performance Stainless Steel FAQ   Final Thoughts Editor’s Choice: Top-list grills under $200-$1,000 - The best Kamado ceramic grill under $200 - Best Grills Under $300 - Best outdoor propane gas grills under $500 - The best wood pellet grill and smoker under $750 - The best-rated Traeger pellet grill with Wi-Fi on the market - The best portable flat-top propane grill on 2022 Read the full article

[nisaadventures]

I’m turning 30 in 10 days... yikes.

The last year of my life has sucked... lol. Okay, it wasn’t all bad. I’m exaggerating... but I’m also not. I know there were plenty of nice moments in the last year... but when I think about the last year of my life, its just full of so many firsts... awful firsts... 

First time celebrating their birthdays without them...

First holiday season without them... anyone else miss mom’s turkey? Most people don’t like traditional thanksgiving dinner because the turkey is more often dry... mom’s was never dry... Okay the key people.. Don’t actually cook your stuffing in the turkey. Its just going to suck all the juice life out of your bird... I mean come on. Trick #1 stuff the turkey with fresh cut oranges and yes, you can leave the skin on... #2 do majority of the oven time in an oven bag to keep the moisture in. #3 cook breasts down. Its the part thats usually most dry, so duh... keep it in the juicy, buttery goodness of the pan. I never made the entire meal, I usually just helped mom with everything. These are just some things I’ve taken away in my observations. 

Halloween trip to Disneyland without them... Disney is always a good time, but I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t feel heavy in some way... and that is saying something because Disneyland is my happy place lol. 

Looking forward to 2020... Hoping that it had so much better in store for us. 

Dear lord... what a joke. 

Going to Hawaii for our “family trip” without them...

A pandemic without them... I mean yes, I’m thankful they aren’t out there with COVID on the rise... I’m glad they’re not stuck at home because COVID. Mom and Michael are both too much of busy bees to be cooped up in the house for too long. 

Not going to lie... picking up where they left has been hard. All of moms plants... The dogs.. Taking care of the backyard, where Michael usually would. Mom would definitely do too much at once. She’d be out in the yard planting something and pulling out something else in her damn UGG boots! wth mom?! Those are expensive! lol. “Oh its fine.. I’ll wash them.” Omg lol. Either that, or she’d be over here trying to move heavy a$$ pots by herself and I’d have to stop her before she hurt her back. Ayiyi. 

Keanu and Aria’s birthdays without them... seeing my babies sad and missing their grandma, grandpa, and aunties has been hard. It will be out of nowhere sometimes... and all the nights of Aria waking up in the middle of the night crying. I feel you baby girl... I get it. I miss them too... Its okay to be sad... Mantras... 

You were her little rays of sunshine. Grandpa and grandma loved you SOOOO much. 

Mom would babysit the kids on Saturday mornings, while Kuya, Vaness, and I went to workout. They’d go get breakfast, pancakes and eggs, at UJs. She’d take them to Target, the dollar store, Walmart, etc. just so they could look and maybe get something to play with together. She always crafted with them. 

Living in this house... especially with COVID... has been hard. I miss just sitting at the dinner table, eating sho mi, and talking about work. Mom and Michael getting all worked up over some crazy manager, or something going down with the union.. yup, that’s where I get it from... advocacy and leadership skills FTW.  One thing they could always talk about for HOURS was work lol. 

I remember when I was a little girl, Mom would let me play in the bathtub until I was all wrinkled. She would let me bring all my toys into the tub. At one point I even had a care bear doll that she, for some reason, let me take in the bath lol. She’d throw it in the dryer for me after I was done. 

I remember going to the grocery store with mom and leaving with two full a$$ grocery carts because we had a full house at all times. I mean it was Kuya, my cousin Jojo, my brother Derric, my cousin John, Bubba, my cousin Jay, me and whoever else was over the house lol. When Kuya was in high school, it was all of his buddies partying at our house and crashing on the floor in the living room, dining room, and all the couches. She was the #1 host for sure.

“Are you hungry? Did you eat yet?” 

Thats love. 

All of Kuya’s high school friends called her Mom. My friends called her Mama Fern. She loved that. 

I remember playing hide n go seek in the dark in our tiny town house.. Later in the bigger house on Glenbriar... where mom actually tripped and broke her arm... But she laughed so hard she peed her pants, so she was a good sport? lol. Needless to say, we sort of stopped playing after that.

I remember making dim sum with mom for the first time. Such a hot mess, flour and food everywhere, but so fun. We definitely didn’t do that again until there were more adults around to help lol. Mom knew how to run through a kitchen like a tornado. Hot mess! but the best cook. 

Mom was always careful. She always wanted to make sure we were safe, that I was safe. I couldn’t go outside unless one of the boys was with me. When I would swim she would get nervous, even though I learned how to swim at a young age thanks to Kuya. One day, we were having a bbq, lots of family over, I was playing in the jacuzzi (drawing on the wall of the jacuzzi with a piece of chlorine... don’t play with chemicals kids lol) and she thought I was drowning? So she jumps her a$$ in there fully clothed and yanks my a$$ out. I was shocked as hell, so I naturally started crying hella hard and complaining about the fact that she scratched me when she yanked me up out of the water lol.

Keep in mind that that was not the first time one of the twins jumped into the pool fully clothed to “save” someone hahaha. 

 Speaking of fully clothed in the pool... The time auntie tripped and fell slo-mo style (that questionable, are you going to catch your balance, speed) into the pool LOL. Mom was dead laughing at her. Most hilarious video. 

Those twins lol. 

Jeeze.. speaking of the twins. They had this crazy connection. Tell me why when mom got sick with suspected viral meningitis and had to be hospitalized... Auntie straight up followed her right into the ICU with viral meningitis... 

Who remembers their 50th birthday? Talk about doing it BIG. So much fun. All the performances. Lani was there... KMA performances and kuya and John getting down for Maglalatik. Who doesn’t like seeing some half naked, buff dudes, bang coconuts together? haha. The twins getting down with their hula performance. Cute!

I remember when Mom and pops were going through their divorce and she would text me after midnight. I was going to Sac State and of course I was team NO sleep at the time. I would be in the AIRC studying. I’d comfort as best as I could from a distance... and then come home on weekends to be there with her when I could. 

She found her footing again. Started going to the gym with Kuya more... Started running all the time... all of her half marathons and finally she did the Nike Women’s Marathon. 

Hiking Half Dome with her. What.a.badass. 

That is really how I see her. She was so badass. When she was my age she had my 9 year old Kuya and I was on the way... She was working and supporting us and then eventually decided to make a better life for us, and went back to school... NURSING SCHOOL. wth. I can’t even imagine doing that right now, but reminding myself of where she has been and how much she PUT IN WORK... That keeps me grounded in the fact that we are responsible for our lives. If you want something, you have to work for it. You can’t just hope for better... you make better happen. 

I guess its that reminder... her strength... her and Michael’s love and hard work... That keeps me going. 

Being mindful... being thankful... acknowledging my own strength... 

But with that said... August has been increasingly hard. I don’t like to think about my birthday. I don’t even want to plan anything. They’re not here... I can’t celebrate with all my loved ones and friends. Thank you COVID... 

We’re just getting closer and closer to the anniversary? Nah.. lets not call it that... anniversary sounds like something nice... something to celebrate... This is NOT that. The day your loved ones are taken is not something to celebrate... I mean honestly, if I had to pinpoint the worst day of my life, that was it.... When I think about that day I can’t breathe. Terrible memories... so many sleepless nights. I’ve come so far. Its still hard, but I’ve come a long way. 

Anyway... this post is sort of random and nostalgic. Things I hold onto. Things that make me happy cry... Things that weigh heavy on my heart. 

Here’s my playlist for grief... reminders of them... collected over the last year:

Aloha for now -Kaleo Vai & Passion 

One day at a time -Jennifer Chung

In the end - Gabe Bondoc, Melissa Polinar, Passion

Round and around -Kolohe Kai

Fade Away -Rebelution

Alive -The Green

New Day -Kimie’

Angels above me -Stick Figure

Memories -Maroon 5

Wish you pain -Andy Grammer

100 -Katchafire

Everyday life -Coldplay

Out of the darkness -Isla vista worship, Bre Reed

Amen -Andra Day

Grateful -13 Crowns feat. Poo Bear

Rainbow Connection -Gwen Stefani

Be okay -ZOE worship 

With you -Eryn Allen Kane

Dont worry -Mesto feat. Aloe Blacc

Just livin’ -Sensi trails, Kbong

Remember me -Miguel, Natalia Lafourcade

Even more -Major

Let it be -Xav A.

Give Thanks -Iya terra, Stick figure

Mr. Sun -Sammy Johnson

Rest easy -Thrive, Nico of Tribal Theory

Sunny Days- Allen Stone

Today’s a new day -Common Kings

Mother’s Love -Jonah Jaxon, Micah G

The bones -Maren Morris, Hozier

Give you blue -Allen Stone

And we remain -Johnnyswim

Yellow -Kina Grannis

Streetcar -Daniel Caesar

Meant to be -Bebe Rexha, Florida georgia line

All you need to know -Gryffin, slander, Calle Lehmann

Like I’m gonna lose you -Jasmine Thompson

[grillsadvisor]

Best Grills Under $400! [ Wood Pellet, Charcoal, Propane Gas ]

We decided to test all of the best grills under $400 and find the best one for you. After hours of research and testing, we came up with a list of our top 6 favorite grills for this year. Top 3 grills under $400 on 2023 Best outdoor grills under $400 The best pellet grill under $400 Z GRILLS ZPG 550B Review https://youtu.be/vrC-aswbuMU The best portable wood pellet grill under $400 The best  kamado ceramic grill under $400 Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Charcoal Grill FAQ   Welcome back to Little Pig Barbeque! Today we're reviewing one of my favorite grills, the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado. This grill is perfect for those who love BBQ but want an easier and quicker cooking experience without sacrificing flavor or quality ingredients that can't wait around on your smoker (darned thing). We'll be getting into all sorts of stuff today so stay tuned if you've got some time constraints like me or just need something simple in order to get dinner started quickly. If you're in the market for a Kamado-style cooker, whether it be big or small and you don't want to spend too much money on them. This video is perfect then because I am going over some of my favorite affordable alternatives that will get your mouth watering while cooking delicious food without breaking anyone's bank account. You've got to see this! Come with me, I'll show you how great these grills can cook. The Char-Griller Akorn is our pick of the day and it won't be long before your mouth water from all that juicy goodness coming off a cooked meal onto one's plate.  This isn't a new cooker; it's been out for several years. There is plenty of information on the internet, YouTube, and Google about this product so you know all there is to learn before making your purchase decision. So, I'm not going to tell you anything new that can't already be found on the internet. But let me give a quick run-through of why this product may very well become your favorite Kamado. This cooker is not your average ceramic-style pot, it’s metal It has double-wall insulation to keep food warm, and an air gap all around its top & bottom which means it will be able to hold onto heat better than most other pots out there. The Weber gas grill is a great starter product, but I have found that the Akorn brand provides better performance. This one holds my food at just about perfect temperature and it's very easy to use. This grill has a ton of features! I'm just going to take you through some that really caught my eye. The cheap and easy way to get a great backyard grill is by going with this cooker. You can find it at Walmart, Lowe's Home Depot, or anywhere else for under $300. Anyway, let's get into this first thing. You'll notice you got these nice side tables here - they're very nifty indeed. I've had pork on my previous visits with no issues at all; everything has been stable and easily stored when not in use (both of 'em fold down for storage). With the tables down, you can slide this into a small space. It works perfectly. Here, it has some hooks for your tools which is a nice feature. Use that often for my tongs and even the grill brush or grapefruit scrubber! So far this product works perfectly as advertised - no complaints from me. The wheels on this grill are not anything special, but they get the job done. There are two LA-style front wheels and then you have a swivel castor with an unlockable back tire for added portability. This thing is so easy to control with one hand. There's no problem going in any direction you want, and it feels really stable. The bottom of this handsome barbecue has a shelf that's perfect for holding your heat deflector or charcoal when grilling. If you want, it can be used as an extension to reach ingredients. The temperature control is so easy. For controlling your temperature, you got this nice sliding vent. Just like an oven, you have a dial with numbers on it that lets your cook know what setting they need to use for their dish - whether it's low heat or high. If you're smoking at around 225-250, it's going to be about 1. And that leaves a very narrow gap for your airflow there. The dial on this thing is really easy to adjust and understand, which makes cooking with it a breeze. You can set the temperature quickly without getting lost in all those numbers. The grill is perfect for those who want to cook at precise temperatures. It won't fluctuate more than 10 degrees all day long, so you can be sure your food will always stay warm or hot.  Well, this grill gets up to 700 degrees on the thermometer. I've had it pegged out just playing around with fire: no problem at all! One chimney of lump charcoal will reach that temperature before you know what's happening (700). You can get a really nice sear on food with high heat, but it's not necessary for most other cooking methods. I don't know why you would want to use such intense flames when there are much less harsh temperatures out there that create similar results and take far less time. The durable metal construction of this grill makes it strong enough to withstand any accident. The sleek design and easy-to-use features will have you cooking like a pro in no time. The durability of this grill is unrivaled. It can stand up to even the most stubborn tip, bump or fall without cracking.   Well, if you tip over a big green egg or bump into something really hard then there's a good chance that crack will spread across your whole cookware. This grill is built like a tank. Built to last and stand up against even the most stubborn of flames, this thing will be around for years with you - so long as it doesn't get blown away by some unexpected breeze. Let's open it up and check the inside out. This smoker has some great features, like the double-wall insulated cooking area which keeps food warmer longer. This will be perfect for those who want their meat slow-smoked or low and gentle. The heavy-duty stainless steel frame is perfect for cooking meals or wrapping food to keep it warm. The warming rack can also be removed and washed easily, making this an excellent addition even if you don't use it often. So, this will be either a good thing or bad depending on how you look at it. The best part about these cast-iron grates is they can be seasoned whenever you want to smoke or grill This means the seasoning won't wear off as quickly and it'll last for a really long time. But when you heat it up for the first time and make sure to keep your spice rub well-done, not only will that burnt flavor be gone but so too any chance of seafood stink happening. What you can see here is that there was some surface rust. But after a quick wipe with my handkerchief and then brushing it off, all of this will scrape away easily. I'm probably going to do some low and slow cooking with it next time, so I'll spray the griddle beforehand. When you heat up your food on this thing quickly after applying seasonings like a liquid sauce or oil will keep them from burning while they're sitting there waiting for me. The quality of the sear marks is really good. This product intelligently channels heat to ensure even cooking all over your food, which results in a beautifully browned crust on top while staying tender inside. The center insert here actually comes out. It will pop up and I believe you can get some accessories to go in there! Not sure what would work, but saw videos on YouTube of guys putting their own little things into this compartment like straps or clips for more storage space if needed. Well, I don't have any special tools to help me with my grill. It's just an open flame that smokes everything over. I'll get this grade out of the way so we can move on. I set it underneath for a minute. The accessory is really great. I ordered it and you can use it as a pizza stone, but unfortunately, this accessory doesn't come with the purchase - you have to buy it separately (but for less than $30/40$). This accessory is perfect for anyone who wants to cook with low and slow heat It lets you have that same type of experience on your gas grill, just like what happens when using an oven-friendly unit such as a Kamado Joe or Green Egg. People have said that the material is really durable, but some people reported cracks after a few months of use. I don’t know if it's because they didn't take care or something else entirely happened so be careful and don’t drop. The Char-Broil Egg has many similarities to other styles, but there are also key differences. The most notable difference is that it features fire bowl technology instead of metal inserts within the inner pot for ash disposal like you find with big green eggs; this means more durability and easier cleanup. You can use this grill to fill up with typically in AMO. You would have lump-style charts, but if you want an even easier way then just brick ETS. The holes on this great grill allow for the ash to fall through just like any other type of charcoal grill, which means you don't have as many messes and can easily clean up after yourself. The reason you can’t use brick ETS in other grills is that the holes are small and get clogged easily with ash. But, if you use briquettes I found that it is not only easier on the earth but also there are no problems when burning.  Well, this is what we call a heat deflector and it helps hold the temperature in. You got an air gap around which is great for holding onto that warmth. We'll get our deflector back here so that it works just as well. I can already tell that this is going to be an amazing product! The first thing people usually complain about with big green eggs is how hard it seems to clean. You have to take all this stuff out. You'll sweep up the Ash into your cart and then get underneath it, where you can kind of vacuum away any remaining particles with a brush or mop head before sweeping them back outside again so they don't come inside.  The designers behind this design have chosen to use a latch system so that when you flip the switch on one side, all of its counterparts will become accessible. So now you've got a fully charged Ash in there. All that's left to do is dump it out if there are any little pieces of grease or anything like that And they just slip right back into place. You may think that by clamping the heating element in place, you'll lose all of your heat or maybe even some smoke out. But this isn't true. When that's clamped in, that's gonna push that thing up to the gasket seal. The build quality is really impressive. It has no smoke or heat leaking out of it, which you can't do with a traditional-style Kamado because they're designed to let through as much airflow possible for fast and even cooking without compromising on safety standards. This thing is so versatile, it'll please any palate. If you're on a budget and can only get one cooker then this would be my recommendation for what's right at $300. You can do anything you want with your smoker. You may have noticed that I didn't say "smoker" - it's because there is no such thing. A good quality grill will get the job done just as well, and in some cases better than a traditional pitmaster’s tool of choice for many years now. You can also do some intense searing on meats or fish while grilling them at high temperatures for a longer period of time in order to achieve certain flavors that are only found by cooking these types of foods this way. The best temperature to run your grill is about 250-275 degrees Fahrenheit. And if you fill it up with charcoal, I've had the fire burn for 10 hours before without stopping. The food is evenly cooked all the way around, and anything you put on turns out great. And honestly - there's not much more to it than that. You just throw some smoking wood onto your fire; then sit back and enjoy your time. You can put your food on and not have to worry about it until it's done. The product is built extremely well, and you'll be really impressed with how sturdy it feels. I've seen some complaints that the negative side of this product is rust. Yeah, it's gonna start rusted immediately when you bring your outdoor fire pit inside and leave for an extended period of time without using protection from rain or snowfall; but if taken care of with regular cleaning then there shouldn't be any problems. I had another one before this, and it was outside for about two years. The rust wasn't bad though - just some surface grime on the bolts or screws that hold its legs together (no big deal). They were just a little bit rusted, but not enough that I thought it would be hard to clean up or ruin them.  In order to keep your grill safe from the elements, it is important that you do not forget about its exterior. Just keep it covered and make sure you're storing things properly in the winter months. That's all there is to do. Well, if you like this cooker then I want to know what's up with it. Let me know your thoughts on the product. Hope you found this review of the Char-Griller E16620 Akorn Kamado Grill helpful. The information it provides will be sure to enhance your knowledge and experience with any future purchases! The best grill and griddle combo under $400 Royal Gourmet GD401 FAQ The best charcoal grill under $400   Weber Performer Charcoal Grill FAQ I am here to talk about the Weber Performance Deluxe Charcoal Grill and how it will make your next camping trip more enjoyable.  This product includes everything you need in one package: A charcoal grill with a built-in gas ignition system as well as a side shell for easy transportability on any terrain type; durable construction made especially lightweight so carrying this around isn't too much burden even when fully loaded down - you'll be able to set up shop wherever there's space left over at home because let me tell ya', these grills are big sellers among outdoor enthusiasts everywhere. He has a nice side shelf on there, perfect for prepping food or serving your dish. He also gets an extra-large workspace with plenty of storage underneath and two drawers at the other end where you can put anything else that needs storing away. Plus those big wheels make moving around super simple no matter which direction he's going in regards to his workspace. You can wheel it about if you want, or put it away at different times when not in use. There's a bin for Charcoal and one to hold regular garbage - but why not take advantage of its other features too? This little box here is our timer. If you want to cook in time, use that. Thermometers these days are really good at noticing when food's ready because they have a lot more sensors than just one spirit thermometer used traditionally past years would've had on them. With our kettle now black enamel coated, it will be easy for us to keep a clean temperature gauge on top. We'll also have vents at both the bottom and top of this grill in order to control its warmth or coolness as needed.  The grill is equipped with several features that allow you to maintain your desired temperature while cooking, including an ash collection system. The more air flowing into it and the higher heat around 180 degrees Fahrenheit will ensure thorough roasting of food inside without burning them on any side! After you've finished, there's an easy system to get rid of your coal and ash. What's nice about this metal bar that goes around the edge here, and just holds your lid. You don’t have to hold onto anything when cooking; it sits like so on top of our grill (in front) with two big handles for easy access. The bit patterns also allow you to stain whatever surface they are sitting next to we gutted part way through building ours which made moving coals easier than ever before since all surfaces got stained at once. Cleanup couldn't be simpler either -all one has to do is want their stovetop to look spotless again. The GBS system comes out, which is great for cooking pizza stones and other items. You can cook in all sorts of different ways with this grill! Inside the main chamber are standard drip pans so your juices will go right there too if you're roasting something like chickens or ducks; they'll keep their moisture inside instead of wasting it on an unneeded surface area outside where no one wants them (or needs more than one). This is how to cook like a pro. charcoal trays are great for grilling and roasting meat, but they also work perfectly as a grill surface when you want the flavor of direct flame without all that Ash versus indirect heat messiness! To use one simply put some Charcoal into each slot then place it over your desired cooking method (indirect vs middle) - either way this bad boy will deliver amazing results every time. The barbecue is a great way to cook food and also have fun You can use gas, which we've got here in this canister as well as lit by pressing down on it with your finger until there's an ignite button underneath where you put wood chips or whatever else suits your needs best. With the Weber Performer Charcoal Grill, you can light up your charcoal in no time. There's never been an easier way to get that fire started! Simply attach a lighter cube onto one end of it and then use its gas power from either below or above - whichever works best for where they're going on their grill at any given moment (and there won't be much transition). Once lit with ease thanks to both these innovative features combined together...you'll never need another method again when wanting high temperatures fast; just turn it off once everything looks ready. The best 4-burner propane gas grill under $400 Char-Broil Performance Stainless Steel FAQ   Final Thoughts Editor’s Choice: Top-list grills under $200-$1,000 - The best Kamado ceramic grill under $200 - Best Grills Under $300 - Best outdoor propane gas grills under $500 - The best wood pellet grill and smoker under $750 - The best-rated Traeger pellet grill with Wi-Fi on the market - The best portable flat-top propane grill on 2022 Read the full article

[lasercruz]

@quarterdollar​ fuck you and im sorry that i took so long to answer and i hope that im mostly coherent because i am. very tired as im typing this

1: Full name Nicky Jackie Marie Cruz !!

2: Age 21

3: 3 Fears Mold, tall heights if I’m not secured (like, I’m not scared of rollercoaster heights but I’m scared of like, cliffs), and balloons esp balloon animals

4: 3 things I love I love so many things uhh hh h. Jjba, adventure zone, and my friendssss 💞

I know turn ons/offs aren’t inherently sexual but i never know what to say for them so im skipping them :0

7: My best friend you 🥺🥺

8: Sexual orientation bi

9: My best first date ive never really been on a actual date :0

10: How tall am I 5′3

11: What do I miss being with my friends physically and just watching stuff or goofing around on the floor 😭

12: What time were I born 11:02pm

13: Favourite color Dark blues

14: Do I have a crush yes shh

15: Favourite quote there so much sappy quotes that are on uquizzes a lot that i like a lot the first that comes to mind is “ You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you.” and so on and also “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

16: Favourite place As far as just physically and not like people or other stuff that comes with with a place, I miss VT campus a lot tbh more than I thought I would. To pick a more specific place, the gazebo at the duck pond cause its where I’d go if I wanted to be alone or like if my roommate was sleeping or working and i didnt want to worry about being quite and it was always super peaceful

17: Favourite food I dont really have One favorite food it just depends what I’m in the mood for but my go to answer for favorite food category wise is either chinese or seafood

18: Do I use sarcasm Depends who I’m with ?? Generally no not often but if im close with someone and just goofin yeah

19: What am I listening to right now My love song playlist. its my go to thing to listen to cause my playlist with all my music has so much on it that i end up skipping half the songs until i find something im in the mood for and this one has a lot less that i end up skipping. the current song its on is day without you by keep for cheap

20: First thing I notice in new person It depends on the person like if they have something that stands out about them, thats what I tend to notice but like. How they carry themself i guess ? cause i feel like thats a easy way to get a read on somebody before talking to them

21: Shoe size 5 mens / 7 womans

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Naturally dark brown but currently dyed black with rainbow bangs

24: Favourite style of clothing this question is on so many ask games and quizzes and I never know how to answer it cause i feel like i dont really have one specific style,, I like colorful and fun stuff i guess ?

25: Ever done a prank call?  No and if you prank call a place of business youre annoying. i used to answer phones at work and we didn’t get them super often but GOD i hate prank callers

27: Meaning behind my URL emu is an old nickname and what i mainly went by until i settled on Nicky and this. is my blog.

28: Favourite movie Baby driver !!

29: Favourite song my go to answer for this is community gardens by the scary jokes

30: Favourite band THE SCARY JOKES

31: How I feel right now sleeby,,,,

32: Someone I love i love , my friendz ,, 🥺🥰

33: My current relationship status single ✌️

34: My relationship with my parents im close to my mom but i dont really get along with my dad ,

35: Favourite holiday Christmas !

36: Tattoos and piercing i have no tattoos, 3 piercings in each ear (2 on each earlobe and 1 on the top on each side)

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I want a interrobang on my wrist and an Aquarius symbol on my ankle and MAYBE the joestar birthmark, i wouldn’t mind more ear piercings and i want a septum piercing but ive seen videos of them getting done and they make me squirm i dont know if id go through with it

38: The reason I joined Tumblr sdklgkjgh i had a my little pony roleplay blog before i made my personal account

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? no we’re good friends !!

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? no not regularly at least

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? no

42: When did I last hold hands? my mom tried to hold my hand when i was half asleep on the couch the other day but like i was so out of it so like it was more our fingers together and the rest of my hand just loosely dangling so if that doesnt count, you

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? i give myself about 2 hours if im doing full makeup but thats purposefully longer than i need so i dont have to worry about rushing and i can relax and take my time

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? no i only shave them if they’re gonna be showing or if the Urge to be Smooth comes over me

45: Where am I right now? my room at home on my bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? probably Kaylie cause she doesn’t drink and i assume if im drunk with other friends there she’d be the only sober one

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Reasonable, if i have it too loud i cant think so the only time i  have my music loud is if im doing nothing and want to Not Think

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Ye

49: Am I excited for anything? short term im excited for the ai crushes all banks stream tonight and long term im excited to move into our apartment 

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? no im not a tell everything to someone type of person .

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? i smile most of the time like, at work (before we wore masks) id always be smiling to look nice and like. just in general if i want to Not Look Unhappy or whatever

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? my mom probably like, yesterday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? ive never kissed any1     .

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?  nope i don’t think i really trust easily so like this doesnt rlly happen,

55: What is something I disliked about today? i woke up late cause i was up late last night so ive been tired all day I dont like the feeling

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? language barriers aside itd be super cool to meet hirohiko araki

57: What do I think about most? Whatever media im currently most into so right now adventure zone and magnus archives

58: What’s my strangest talent? umm i dunno im kinda flexable i guess ? not like ~contortionist~ level but like enough that i can freak people out sometimes

59: Do I have any strange phobias? i mentioned balloons as a fear in an eariler question so yeah that but im a lot better about it than i used to be

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? in front tbh

61: What was the last lie I told? i was on phones for the last hour and a half of my shift on friday and like. when people call and ask if an item is in stock and i can’t confirm it i, just tell them its not. like, someone asked if we had a specific kayak and i usually just search the walmart app or run over to where itd be to check but the kayaks are to far for me to run to and the app said limited stock which usually means little to none so , i just put it on hold for a bit then tell him we’re out.

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i like video chatting in theory cause its nice to see people visibly react to stuff but i tend to get too self conscious about how i look so i  just do audio only

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? yes to both !! i am both

64: Do I believe in magic? yes in some ways i suppose

65: Do I believe in luck? yes im v superstitious

66: What’s the weather like right now? its a pretty good day its sunny but not too hot :oo

67: What was the last book I’ve read? its been ages since i last read a book in full 😔  i honestly dont knwo what the last one would of been 😔 😔

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? yes !!! love it

69: Do I have any nicknames? not anything i get consistently called no

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? ive never gotten super hurt that i can think of ??

71: Do I spend money or save it? save it

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? no

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? doppio bean plush ,,,,

74: Favourite animal? hedgehogs!!!!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? on my phone probably on tiktok or something waiting for jojo to come on toonami

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I? dont think he has one i guess ??

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? butterflies by samsa but it makes me happy in the “im crying now” kinda way itss cute

78: How can you win my heart? just by being nice and respectful tbh ,

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? idk i dont really want anything fancy just my name (chosen name please god im so scared of dying and geting my birth name on my tombstone if that happens i WILL come back as a vengeful ghost) and my birth and death dates

80: What is my favorite word? saccharine

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr by my tumblr crushes (which its been YEARS since i looked at) ; frostios, 27names4tears, smollpurrito, happynaru, and warpedlamp

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? if we being real id just get so scared dsjkfsldjglg  theres so much i could say i dont know :((

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? not ? that i know of 

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? why are all the questions worded super basic except this one skdlskdjfj. Shape shifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? i can really think of anything really as long as a friend is asking i tend to answer truthfully ?

86: What is my current desktop picture? Sobble BUT this reminded me that i wanted to change it to a xenoblade pic so its this now :

90: Failed a class? no

91: Kissed a boy? no

92: Kissed a girl? no

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? no but oh god just thinking about that im 🥺🥺🥺🥺 id die id melt 🥺🥺

94: Had job? ye i was a cashier for a year in highschool and then i work in wamlart apparel in the summers

95: Left the house without my wallet? not when I know ill need it no, but ive left it home if im just going to a friend or family member’s house or i have my mom’s card or some cash in my pocket

96: Bullied someone on the internet? no !!

98: Played on a sports team? no lmao i dont do sports

99: Smoked weed? no

100: Did drugs? i had a weed brownie like once but it was such a small piece i didnt really feel anything

101: Smoked cigarettes? no

102: Drank alcohol? Ye

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? not currently i was vegan for a little bit to encourage a friend that was doing it though

104: Been overweight? no

105: Been underweight? no

106: Been to a wedding?  yes three, my grandma’s when she got remarried, and both my brothers

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? probably yes lmao often

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? not TV TV but if netflix and the like count then yes

109: Been outside my home country? no :(

110: Gotten my heart broken? not ? really no

111: Been to a professional sports game? ive been to a handful of Yankee games

112: Broken a bone? no

114: Been to prom? yes i went to my highschool’s and a friend’s highschool’s my senior year

115: Been in airplane? no

116: Fly by helicopter? no

117: What concerts have I been to? none :((((

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? ye

119: Learned another language? i took 3 years of Spanish in high school but i wasn’t any good at it and dont really remember much of what i did learn

120: Wore make up? yes i do often :0

123: Dyed my hair? ye a lot

124: Voted in a presidential election? yes ever since iv been old enough to i vote

125: Rode in an ambulance? no

126: Had a surgery?  dental surgery yes

127: Met someone famous? Not anyone i’d count no

128: Stalked someone on a social network? depends on what you count as stalking i guess but like not ever in a creepy way like ive been on people’s social media to find out stuff about them like. if theyre in a relationship or especially after highschool ill wonder about someone i havent talked to in awhile and ill see what theyve been up to and what theyre doing with their life and stuff

129: Peed outside? no

130: Been fishing? yes like once

131: Helped with charity? donation wise yes

132: Been rejected by a crush? ive never confessed to anyone and been rejected but once a friend told my crush i liked them and they confronted me about it and rejected me but it made me more mad at the friend that told them than it made me sad about being rejected because i knew it’d probably go like that  and it justmade thing awkward between us for awhile  😔

133: Broken a mirror? ive broken the little mirrors inside eyeshadow pallets but i havent broken full ones

134: What do I want for birthday? usually just money lol or something thoughtful and cute

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? i aggresivly do NOT want kids BUT hypohetically Elliot or Xander for a boy and idk what i’d nam a girl

136: Was I named after anyone? no

137: Do I like my handwriting?  its messy so no not really but if im writing something for myself like a not or whatever i dont mind as long as i can read it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? even as a little kid i always played computer games but other than that, this guy :

139: Favourite Tv Show? Jojo

140: Where do I want to live when older? New york or japan

141: Play any musical instrument? i can kind of play harmonica

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? i burnt my thumb kinda bad on the oven a while ago its still kinda healing but right now it looks like its gonna stay a scar

143: Favourite pizza toping? i like everything/suprieme pizza but if i have to pick one single topping pepperoni

144: Am I afraid of the dark? yes :((

145: Am I afraid of heights? mentioned it earlier but yes if im not strapped in or secured etc

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no im so scared of being caught doing something bad that i just. dont

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? i mean yes but thats life babey

149: What my greatest achievments are ive gotten awards for grades and stuff but that boring BUT i got the english department award or whatever that was called im very proud of that

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery i donate some and save the rest tbh

152: What do I like about myself i can be pretty  sometimes 👉👈 im cute or whateva ,,,

153: My closest Tumblr friend i dont really havent “tumblr friends” aside from friends i know irl and also tey have tumblrs ,,

154: Something I fantasise about just. growing up and having my own place maybe with someone and. being comfortable and  okay and not having to worry ,,

155: Any question you’d like? dkfjhdskhf japan :000

[remmiesaloser]

13 Years | 4 Weeks

honestly, I dont know which of the two have been longer in my life. 

so recently I ended a 13 year long relationship with the guy I've been dating since my freshman year of high school. it took me this long to understand, acknowledge, and accept the relationship was emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive and thanks two my two best friends and a very nice therapist I asked him to move out.

I thought the overwhelming life style change would be the hardest. I haven't been alone since I was 14 and it took me a long time to build up the courage to end things because I am terrified of change and had little to no idea what to do without him. to my surprise I've adapted to being alone pretty well. the loneliness does get to me sometimes - I miss those moments we had where we could have a conversation without speaking. I miss over a decade’s worth of inside jokes, and it still hurts when I see something and instantly think of him cause it was our thing.

its a daily struggle to remind myself why I did this because its frighteningly easy to minimize the damage he did when he’s not here to do it every day. the gaslighting and emotional manipulation isn't something that just switches off or diminishes with distance. somehow, in some super shitty, unfair way, it gets worse. because im left alone with my thoughts that he’s managed to turn against me and they’re still working angles for him that catch me off-guard sometimes. I still battle with guilt for making him move out, because I feel terrible that now he’s stuck living with his mom and all his things are in boxes. and I hate that it’s gonna take a long time for that to go away. 

but I digress. because all of that isn’t the hardest part. the hardest part is getting him the fuck out of this apartment. we 'ended things’ April 5th. there are quotes around that because we haven’t officially broken up. like, I told him I needed a break till he gets his shit together, and he’s all but moved out, but I haven’t even changed our relationship status on Facebook (yay, guilt!) and we haven't really agreed that we’re broken up. Jesus, again I digress. ANYWAYS. I knew it was gonna be a process to move him out because our lives are so intertwined that we’ve had to go through rooms and drawers and boxes one by one separating our shit. and this process has been fucking agonizing because he is dragging his goddamn feet. 

Initially I thought we were gonna bang this out in a weekend, get all the shit out and be done. A month later, and there’s still a pile of his shit at the top of the stairs, a handful of things in the corner of the living room (including the giant china cabinet filled with his things) and his grandmother’s dishes in my cupboards. but that’s a post for another day. because right now im just gonna vent about him taking his sweet ass time, being insanely petty, and still somehow fucking manipulating me when he doesn’t even live here anymore. 

honestly the pettiness and inconsideration for my own time and requests is the biggest thing that’s getting to me, what’s driving me to write this. most of the time he’s been here for his shit, his mom’s been with him, and I was chalking up a lot of the pettiness to her. because he’d be here to get the things from the living room, and hours after they'd left I’d notice small things had been taken from other parts of the house. now some of the stuff he’s taken was his, just something I was using with him that I’d assumed he’d at least mention he was taking. im a lot of things, but selfish isn’t one of them and honestly unless it’s something from my family or something that I bought that was expensive, I don’t care. he can have it. It’s more the fact that, when I need something all of a sudden I cant find it and realize he took it. 

like, his nana’s pots and pans. They’re a really nice set his mom let us have and I fully expected them gone. my only request was that he give me a heads up so I could go out and get my own set when he planned to take them because with them gone, all I’d have left is a few frying pans. This is our conversation from that weekend:  

This was Saturday afternoon. He never told me he wasn’t going to come by Saturday, and gave me a 15 minute heads up he was on his way over on Sunday - which did me no good because I wasn’t even home. That meant I couldn’t clean out the dressers (I didnt want to do it until the day he was going to get them because I would have to leave my clothes on the bed until I could get my own dresser from my parent’s house once his were gone). When I got home, all of my clothes were thrown on my bed and the ground.I had to rewash a bunch of shit, refold everything, and then clean the entire room from the mess that was made. 

fucking on top of that, his mom decided to take the pots and pans. I’d specifically asked him Saturday because I was going to Walmart and could have bought a new set for myself while there. I didn't want to buy them until I needed to because I’m trying to save money and didn’t get paid that weekend, so I figured if he’s not taking them I don’t need to get things until I get paid next weekend. Wrong. I had to go out that night again and get a set because, as I said, all I had were 3 frying pans and a skillet thing. Oddly enough, she didn’t take the dishes. They were her mom’s, just like the pots and pans, and for some reason she didn’t want them... don’t worry, I already plan to pack them up this weekend and give them back because lord knows what’ll happen if I dont and she decides she wants them six years from now. 

honestly though the biggest level of petty was the Tylenol PM. I know, it’s not a big deal. But it’s just one of those little things that I stopped and was like, are you fucking kidding me. I noticed that, after taking his bed and dressers, the pack of tissues he’d got us from Sam’s was gone. Again, he bought them, whatever. would’ve been nice for him to tell me so I had a heads up to fucking get them when I was at Walmart but whatever. he also took a 6-pack of toilet paper he’d gotten literally the day we ended things (because he’d gone to king Soopers with his mother instead of talking to me about the fight we’d had) and he’d initially told me to keep it, it was for me anyways. I noticed just last weekend it was gone. 

but the fucking Tylenol PM. I'm not one to buy brand name medicine. if I can get store brand, I will. Almost all my medicine is store brand except that Tylenol PM because I was really sick one year and wanted the good stuff. Y’all know how expensive Tylenol is. I sprang for it, and I used it sparingly because I didnt want to have to buy more if I didn’t really need it. Well, two weekends ago I fell down a fucking mountain. I was running a trail down a mountain, tripped, flew through the air, and landed on my shoulder and kneecap. It still hurts, and that day I was in a lot of pain. The regular Tylenol and Ibuprofen that I’d been switching back and forth with all day just wasn’t doing the trick and I was like, okay. this is a Tylenol PM kind of pain. That night, right before bed, I went to grab it from the bathroom cabinet. 

it was gone. the rest of my medicines, the store brand acetaminophen and store brand ibuprofen, those were still there, but the Tylenol PM was gone. It has exclusively only lived either on the dresser/nightstand in the bedroom, or the bathroom cabinet. as he took the dresser and nightstand, and it wasn’t in the cabinet, it had been taken. I cannot tell you how livid I was. it still pisses me off. because of all the things to take he took that. Not the rest of his bathroom shit, not even all his shit from the bedroom. but he took the Tylenol PM. I even asked if he knew where it might be - thinking he’d come across it at some point. he told me “it’s always been in the linen closet” where the rest of our medicines are. It was never there, but I checked the entire closet just in case - nothing. Again, I know it’s small. it’s just a bottle of pills. but it’s the whole damn thought behind it. 

there’s more things too - the fact that no, he doesn’t take all his things from a certain room, and I have to then box the rest of his shit up, move it out of my way, and clean the room that he trashed. 

It’s the fact that 90% of the things on our walls were his (which helps show me how little say I had on my own things in the apartment I exclusively pay for) and now that he’s taken them, he’s left the walls, hooks, and nails behind. most of them are up way above my head - he needed a ladder to put them in - and now they’re littered all over the wall. today, as he worked to get the shit from our front bedroom (hopefully the last things he’ll need to get) I asked him if he could also get the nails and hooks out of the wall because I can’t reach them. he asked me, “did you try using the step-ladder?”. I answered no, and he simply said, “that should work then”. Like, no. you put those up, so you could display all the things of yours YOU wanted to display (3 out of 4 walls in the room were covered with his things) and now he can’t even take the tacks down even though he took the hangings down. 

and then of course, it’s the fact that he just leaves a mess in his wake. when he first moved things out of the living room it was a mess. I spent hours rearranging shit, packing up the rest of his shit that he left behind, and then cleaning up everything because I still have to live here. it was the same with the bedroom. and now it’s gonna be the same thing with the front room. I told him today that everything needs to be out by next weekend because I can’t do this every weekend. He asked what I meant by ‘this’ and explained that I was tired of having to clean up everything that got messed up. He told me simply “it’s not being destroyed. I’m just taking my things”. At the moment the entire room was in shambles, everything askew from him digging his things out and leaving my stuff lying in piles. It’s cleaned up now - save the pile of boxes and junk at the top of the stairs - but I told him I have to clean up the mess that’s left behind. He didn’t have an answer for that. 

Honestly there’s really not a point to this. I’m just pissed, I’m annoyed, and I’m angry, and I’m sad. I’m just tired. And I wanted to vent. So if you stuck with me through this, I wanna thank you for listening. I appreciate being heard, because I haven’t been for so long. your time means a lot to me. 

[piefanart]

Tips for first time forearm crutch users

The palms of your hands might get blistered and feel tender. Heat packs help, and heavy duty bandaids (like the big rectangles you would put on a skinned knee) over your palms will prevent it.

You might annoy yourself as you count your steps in your head. I'm supposed to lift them every second step and put them down with the third, so as I'm walking in counting 1 2 3 over and over in my head. Eventually it becomes a habit to walk with them, and you stop counting.

People are going to ask you whats wrong, what did you break, what happened, etc. Even minor aquaintances, and especially little kids. Some of them are concerned, and some just curious. Keep in mind that while you've probably answered that question countless times and at least a dozen times in the last hour alone, the person asking hasnt heard the answer. While nobody is entitled to your medical history, try to answer politely. They dont know that youre sick of the question, and a lot of the time they dont know that this sort of question can be innapropriate. Try to simplify why you use them. For me, I answer with "my bones im my legs ache and i get exhausted easily". This is a lot shorter then explaining the entire condition, and doesnt leave much room for questions. It also avoids the fact that for me, my condition is still undiagnosed and my doctor doesnt actually know whats wrong yet.

You dont realize how often you touch your face until you can't easily use your hands. My crutches are very flexible at the top so i can reach up to put up my hood or push hair behind my ear easily without taking my arm out of the crutch.

It can be nerve wracking to go in public with a new set of crutches, especially when youve never used a mobility aid before. I decorated mine so that they fit in with my style better, and feel more like an extension of myself then as something from a hospital. I spray painted them with paint i got at walmart, it cost about $3 a can and you can get tons of cool colors. I wrapped the parts I didnt want painted with a layer of paper napkins and then packing tape (so the tape didnt leave residue). I also have a ton of stickers on mine! If your crutches are temporary or rentals and you don't want to or can't paint them, you can get some of those spools of ribbon like for christmas presents. They're already pre curled, and wrap around the crutch perfectly without falling off. And when you need to remove them, they simply pull off with no tape needed!

Getting out of cars can be really hard. If you can, handing your crutches to someone and then standing up while the hold them steady for you is helpful. If not, put them outside the car first and then stand up holding them.

You're a lot wider on crutches then youre used to, so be prepared to bump into people by accident.

Get yourself a backpack. Seriously. I carry an 8"×11" art notebook with me at all times, and trying to carry it in my arm while using crutches is nearly impossible. You can hook bags on the hand grip, but they tend to swing back and forth and unbalance you so i dont recommend it for heavy things or long distance. Over the shoulder bags work, but again they tend to swing back and forth.

If you are around kids a lot, they will want to try them out. Its up to you to decide if you let them, but be nice to the kiddos. Snapping at them can cause trauma. (I speak from experience)

Most importantly, know that you're valid, mobility aid or no! Your pains and difficulties are important, and the people in your life should respect that and not make things harder for you with ableism remarks. You're beautiful, youre handsome, and you rock those crutches like a badass!!

[deadmomjokes]

Adulting 101: Grocery Shopping, Smarter

I have roomed with way too many freshmen who lived on fries and takeout because they, per their own admission, had no clue how to buy groceries. And I know a bunch of people are probably in the same boat. So I’m going to take you through the issues I often had to help my tiny baby roomies with, and drop some extra tips on you that I’ve figured out while living away from home. Feel free to add your own!

PRODUCE BUYING (yes, you need to eat a plant every now and then)

Canned and frozen veggies are just as nutritious as fresh, sometimes moreso. Nutrient content degrades as the vegetable sits after picking, and if you live somewhere that your produce has long shipping times, it’s actually less nutritious than canned or frozen. In canned vegetables, look for the “low sodium” marker. Canned and frozen also last a million times longer than fresh, and are WAY cheaper. Buy the frozen broccoli and thank yourself later when you have Netflix money left over.

Pro tip: when using canned veggies, rinse them a few times. They now taste fresh, ready to cook or ready to eat straight. You’re welcome.

When shopping for canned fruit, pick ones that are packed in 100% juice, not syrup. That syrup not only makes things way less healthy, it makes it pretty slimy too. Plus the juice is nice in smoothies, if you choose to save it.

If you buy fresh, do so in quantities that look too small. Get what you think you need, then put a little back. You always need less than you think. If you DO buy large quantities and they start to look funny, cut them up and freeze them.

When buying fresh, get some that are ripe now, and some that need a few days. This way you have some that will last a bit longer rather than trying to scramble to eat 3 avocados within 24 hours.

Buy onions in bulk, chop them up all at once, and freeze them. Only cry once, my friends. They cook much faster when they were previously frozen, and they last ages. Plus a sack of chopped frozen onions makes a good makeshift ice pack for twisted ankles and sore backs, and it won’t hurt to thaw and re-freeze a few times.

Here’s a cheat-sheet for how long produce lasts and how to store them. This should give you a good idea of how much to buy. It is very conservative, tho, so don’t panic. For instance, it says tomatoes only last about 3 days, but I’ve gotten a week and a half out of them if you don’t refrigerate them and keep them away from other fruit. Use it as a guide, and google some other “produce cheat sheets” to get an idea of your time window.

When buying frozen vegetables, get the big resealable packages. They’re cheaper per ounce, and you don’t have to worry about whether you can eat all of it at once. If you have limited freezer space, however, just get some freezer ziploc bags and store the extras in that. Twist-tying the opened, non-resealable bag will just freezer burn your food.

I know you think you eat a lot of potatoes, but you, an individual, do not eat enough potatoes to warrant that 5 or 10 pound sack that’s always on sale. Pass it by and go to the individual, select-a-piece display. You’ll thank me when you aren’t cleaning up rotten potato goo in a few weeks because you only got halfway through the sack and just couldn’t eat any more potatoes.

MEAT BUYING

Buy in bulk, keep out only what you’ll use within a day, and freeze the rest into individual serving size packages. You can get SO many meals out of a tray of chicken breasts, so buy as big a package as you have freezer room for.

Check the yellow-tag/clearance section. You find amazing deals there! Just freeze it right away if you aren’t cooking the whole thing for dinner that night. Yellow-tag is always because it’s nearing its sell-by date.

Don’t feel like you have to cook meat in whatever size or form it comes.  Buy big honking roasts and cut your own chops/steak from it. Buy that tray of chicken breasts and cut each piece into stew chunks or strips . Get the bone-in stuff and fillet it yourself. Think big when buying, small when storing, and then use that knife block your mom gave you and slicey slice things down to an individual size, or into something new. (Pork roast into chunks makes for a great, cheap stir fry.) Pop the rest into freezer ziploc bags and take it out the day before you need it. (Thaw in-fridge, please, it’s much safer.)

Ground turkey acts the same as ground beef in most recipes, and is generally cheaper unless you live in beef country. Substitute and save.

GRAINS

As with produce, buy your flour and sugar in much smaller quantities than you think you need. That 2lb sack doesn’t look like very much, but it’s a lot less likely to attract pests if it’s not sitting there for months while you struggle to use it, and it’s also much more manageable so it doesn’t get everywhere while cooking or storing. (You’ll also make fewer sweets if you don’t have a huge bag of sugar sitting in your cabinet getting clumpy and worrying you.)

Mac-and-cheese IS a viable grain option, and if you dump in some broccoli and/or chicken chunks, it’s a full meal. It’s cheap, but less sodium than ramen, so try switching it up. Also try to look for mac-and-cheese made with whole and/or enriched flour if you eat a lot of it, you’ll be slighly less likely to get constipated from it.

Premade loaf bread has a butt-ton of sugar in it. This is not only not as good for you, but makes the bread more likely to mold quicker! So look for low-sugar options. (Or make your own bread, it’s not too hard.)

DAIRY

Unless you’re like me and drink a crapton of milk (doctor’s orders, don’t judge), buy your milk in half-gallons. You can always grab another one if you run low between regular grocery shopping days, but you don’t want to have the experience of going to pour your cereal and getting your appetite ruined by the smell of rotten milk.

If you can’t or don’t want to drink milk, most milk alternatives are now fortified with the same nutrients that animal milk has. Don’t skip the dairy recommendation because you don’t like animal milk, get yourself some soy or almond milk and get your daily calcium intake!

Cheese lasts a long time, but will get dry, hard, and powdery if not stored properly. Look for, you guessed it, resealable packages.

Most of the time, block cheese is cheaper than grated and you can just grate it yourself at home. But always check the price-per-ounce, it’s usually located in the corner or on the side of the tag.

Yogurt lasts longer than you think it will. Buy in the big tubs, not individual cups. It’s cheaper, and you can pick how much you want.

SHOPPING TIPS

Shop by what’s on sale to save money. Have an idea of what you want when you go in, but be flexible with your choices. For instance, I would go in with a shopping list that had an item that was simply “sale meat.” I had meal ideas planned out that I could replace or alter based on what was on sale at the store. No chicken on sale, but the tofu was marked down? We’re having tofu stir fry on Wednesday instead! Apples on sale? You had planned to get bananas, but if the apples are cheaper you can either get some of both or just do apples. Check the sale papers or online ads beforehand to see what kind of specials they have, and try planning meals around that.

Speaking of, CHECK THE SALE PAPERS! Save those mailers, compare prices, and see which store has what you’re after. Google the store’s website and see if they list their specials online.

Have a basic plan for what you’re going to do with your purchases. Don’t just pick up a bunch of kohlrabi “to try” if you don’t have a plan. It could be as simple as “I’m going to look up a recipe later today and I’m moving Tuesday’s dinner to next week so I can make this new thing on Tuesday.” But don’t just go “huh, that’s neat” and buy it without consciously planning when to use it. Or you’re going to end up with rotten kohlrabi and money wasted. Be aware of what you’re buying, and tell yourself how you’re going to use it before you put it on your list, or in your cart if it’s a last minute decision.

Don’t shop hungry. Simple idea, you’ve probably heard it before, but you’ll come home with impulse buys and a headache if you shop on a very empty stomach.

Make a list. You ARE going to forget that you really needed rice if you don’t put it on that list. I know you think you’ll remember, but you won’t. Crossing the threshold of a supermarket completely wipes your RAM. Write that stuff down somewhere and take it with you.

Be willing to shop around. I know Walmart is convenient, and it has asparagus on sale, but if the Kroger also has an amazing sale on the salad greens that you were planning on buying, try to make the effort to get to both stores. Nobody said saving money and eating well was easy, but it is worth it. Unless one store has price match, then just take your ad in and do the shopping at that store.

Try to have a buddy. Grocery shopping can be exhausting and stressful, but a friend can make it easier, and keep you sane. They can also help steer you away from impulse buys just by their very presence. It’s a lot harder to justify the checkout candy bar when your friend is right there, even if they don’t say anything. (Or you could get both of you a candy bar, if you’ve got the cash for it.)

Try to pick a single grocery day and plan for it consistently. Weekly, biweekly, whatever is best for you, just plan a day to do your in-depth shopping. Shopping piecemeal is a good way to spend more money than necessary, and to make sure you forget stuff. (You may have to make fill-in trips between big shopping days, but plan the big ones and try to put off as much as you can until then. But stopping for milk because you ran out won’t break the bank, so don’t worry about doing an occasional quick-stop.)

STORAGE TIPS

Ziploc bags are your friend, but make sure you know what kind you’re getting. Only specifically labeled “freezer bags” should be used in the freezer, or you risk your food getting icy and freezer burnt. Also, look for the store-brand zipper bags, they work just as well.

Label everything you put into the freezer if it’s not in the original package. You’re going to have days where you can’t tell if that’s chicken or tofu. Most freezer zipper bags have a space just for labeling. Keep a kitchen sharpie handy and label stuff. Also put the date on it, and use things within a year of freezing.

Get canisters. There are some cheap ones, even, but get SOMETHING. Put your flour and sugar in the canisters. It will last longer, and you don’t risk the bugs. You may think your apartment is safe, but bug season comes for us all in the end, and those little turds go right for a folded-over sack of flour, I swear.

Keep a list on the front of your freezer of everything that’s in there. Add to the list as you put stuff in, and cross stuff off as you take it out. That way you don’t have to dig to know if you have any more of those frozen peaches you like in your smoothies. Nor will you forget for a million years the bag of stew meat you had intended to use. Small magnetic whiteboards are particularly good for this purpose. (Also consider doing that for each major storage area--fridge, cabinets, pantry, etc-- if you routinely forget what’s in there. You could even tape it to the inside of the cabinet door so nobody else sees your bad memory.)

Don’t store potatoes and onions next to each other. They’ll both sprout.

Keep bananas away from all other produce. They’re naughty ethylene fiends that will spoil your tomatoes just for fun. That said, stick a banana in with an under ripe fruit and it’ll be ready in a day or two.

Take your produce out of the little plastic bags unless they need to ripen a bit more.

Go through your fridge completely once a month. Take everything out, check the dates, sniff it, and throw out old/rotten/nasty stuff. Go through your freezer once every 2 or 3 months. Reorganize your stacks, and double check your content list is current.

I know this is long, but I hope it can be helpful. Please add on any tips you have, at the very least I’d love to read them!