#so it's seen as more acceptable to play more loosely with the events that happen within them than with the events in manga canon

[dcdreamblog]

As it happens, my birthday is now Gay Marriage Day in the United States, not the present I was looking for that year, but it's interesting. So I tend to have a lot of Pride Month stuff coming up on my various social media around that date--and this year I spotted someone at a Pride Parade I had not seen in ages.

To be precise, Extraño of the New Guardians, who as far as I know was the first "out" gay superhero of the modern era. I distinctly remember seeing on the news years ago that he was dead. So, did he come back from the dead at some point, was he just not actually dead, is this a relative or lookalike? And of course please fill us in on the backstory.

The death of Gregorio de la Vega has been greatly exaggerated, often on purpose, usually for exactly the reason you think.

Born in Trujillo, Peru, de la Vega probably has some amount of Homo Magi blood in him since he was always able to perform minor feats of magic. Until he was chosen by some sort of alien process meant to select the breeding stock for the next, greatest stage in human evolution. They empowered de la Vega, turning him into a potent sorcerer and granting him membership on this new Adam and Eve team, The New Guardians. One problem. Gregorio de la Vega is a gay man.

Very much disinterested in this whole "breeding a better humanity" thing for fairly self evident reasons. He did however, christen himself "Extrano" which is simply Spanish for "Strange", calling to the alienation and otherness he had been made to feel his whole life for how he was born. He was, he IS, the first openly gay superhero to have ever existed.

And his first costume looked like thissss

(A photograph of Extrano, the caption is meant to be encouraging to queer youths. You ARE Strange, so own it" that sort of thing.)

He is noted as speaking with an exaggerated queer affectation, referring to himself as "Auntie" and making himself the sounding board for the other members' romantic frustrations. In short, he was playing up to a stereotype. A positive version of a stereotype, a heroic persona of a stereotype, and yet a stereotype it remained. His costume eventually changed into one that was a lot more...shear. A stereotype of another kind but his affectation didn't change much. Much has been said about this. Whether he was a poor role model for indulging in these affectations, whether he was brave for simply being out at all, this that and the other thing. Here's my opinion...I don't care.

I am not going to sit here in judgment of a man whose mere existence did more for my right to live, and love and thrive comfortably in my own skin and as my own self than I could do with 100 years as dictator of the world. Was he living to an expectation in order to find what amount of acceptance he could in a queerphobic society? Maybe. Was he hiding behind it in fear of not being "gay enough" in a time and place where the idea of what queerness is was very narrow? Maybe. Was the man just honestly like that? MAYBE.

The point I am making is you'd have to ask him because the man is still alive.

He vanished from the public eye for a long time for one simple reason: Like a lot of gay men his age and of his era, Extrano contracted HIV.

The stigma attached to the condition at that time cannot be overstated and so, in seeking treatment, he put his own health first and the clucking of tabloids last. For many years the headline that he had died at a clinic somewhere in Peru, or Singapore, or Mexico, or whatever circulated every six months.

It wasn't until a few years ago when he was called upon that what had become of him was publically known: He had become an incredibly powerful, incredibly respected, incredibly FEARED arch magus. One that went toe to toe with Eclipso on live television when the villain attacked a pride parade, the event that lead to the foundation of the loose group now known as Justice League Queer.

And he looks like thi-

(A head shot of de la Vega taken from the back of his recent memoir "Queer: It Means Strange")

Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Da- BONK MAINTAIN PROFESSIONAL DETACHMENT!!!

Point being, the man is alive, and well and in the public eye for the first time in a LONG time. If you want to know who he is or what he thinks, you can read his book, or watch the 8 different TV interviews I was able to find on Youtube.

He's given talks about his queer journey, being gay in Latin America, being gay in Peru specifically, growing up gay in Peru in the 70s and 80s even more specifically. Living with HIV, living with HIV AS a gay man. Being an HIV positive superhero. Being a gay superhero. His treatment, his sudden thrust into being a patriarch for the queer hero community. He has been on a whistle stop tour of every single public event that will hand him a microphone. If you wanna ask this man a question, kick in the door of your nearest gay bookshop and odds are he will be giving a talk at that store when you check!

To answer your "question" when asked about rumors of his death so long circulating he is quoted as saying. "Death is not allowed to kill me until I've had my fun."

[fullscoreshenanigans]

#I mean. she's an emotional child and should be allowed to cry #no need for shaming tears (via @officersnickers)

One of my favorite things about the series is how it doesn't shame any of the characters for crying, regardless of gender.

(Chapter 55)

So I think Silent's ire is rooted in the simplification and sanding down of her character in order to more easily facilitate stock narratives/scenarios rather than the act of Emma crying at all, especially when it's such a significant moment of "The Day Emma Cried" short story from the first light novel (released back in 2018) that it's the focus of the title and it's laid out plainly in the text itself as something that both Norman and Ray recognize.

Norman notes it again years later during chapter 4/S1 episode 2.

It's why his reunion with Emma in chapter 118/chapter 119 is such a striking moment with how her tears initially seem to flow without any preamble, only wordless disbelief as the magnitude of everything happening rapidly registered in her brain and a figurative switch has been flipped.

It's not that she doesn't experience those emotions, but that it's not how she generally regulates and expresses them.

(Chapter 3 | Chapter 49 | Chapter 109 | Chapter 110)

I'm assuming the fanfics in mind weren't having her cry as part of a character study examining the ramifications of how being thrust into a leadership role at such a young age and internalizing so much trauma while maintaining a front for the sake of others and leaned into being more tropey, which is something that people are free to write as an exercise in flexing their creative muscles, but it's not something I'm keen on reading either.

Alright, so something tha really bugs me in the tpn fandom, particularly in fanfics, is how they characterize Emma. There's a lot of fic I've read that make her a crybaby. Now there isn't anything wrong with a character being a crybaby but it isn't accurate for Emma. Yes she's emotional and sensitive and open about it, but you need to remember that she's canonly only ever cried 3 or 4 times in the span of 15 years.

[stevieschrodinger]

I do not have time to write this, but I really need to write it down.

All the events of Stranger things happen as normal - one crucial difference, Eddie gets involved, but not in the same way. He's an innocent by stander who never made friends with the kids. He's a vague background character to the action. He's an extra on set, effectively, and when he drops out of school and leaves town abruptly, someone might notice, but no one really questions it.

Years later, the only thing that feels real about the whole thing are the scars Steve still carries on his body. Sometimes, sometimes, he has to call Robin, just to check it was all real. That he hasn't lost his mind. He still flinches when a light flickers, to this day his ears ring for hours after a loud noise. He has headaches.

The only people he can talk to about it are Robin and the kids; but he feels bad. The kids aren't kids anymore, and they all seem to have just...gotten on with their lives. Seemed to have grown and evolved past it all, even though Steve regularly still wakes in the night, sweating and fighting with his bed covers. He doesn't put that on them, he sounds happy on the phone, and he is, loves hearing about their lives, their relationships, their plans and their own kids.

Robin has a girlfriend, she's happy and settled. Steve's the only one who seems...stuck. Like he cant move past it. He bums around. Stays with Nancy for a while, then Robin. Visits Argyle, makes loose acquaintances and sofa surfs. Drifts, aimlessly, through life.

It's about time in his cycle to visit Robin, but the relationship is serious this time and she nags him to find his own place to stay near by - loosing patience with him when he fails to be motivated and finding it for him herself. It's tiny, the kind of place where the bed is also the couch and the TV rests on a short run of kitchen counter because there's no where else. Feels okay though.

Steve gets a job. Spends a day on foot, door to door, walking through town; lands in a record shop of all places, even though CD's have now well and truly taken hold and vinyl isn't much of a thing. It's dark inside, the walls painted black, the bare brick red. A couple of people browse through, but Steve heads right for the counter.

There's some screamo rock stuff playing that Steve doesn't recognize, but it's quiet, so it's okay.

Behind the counter, someone Steve half recognizes from another life. Eddie Munson, Freak of Hawkins High. What are the odds.

Eddie isn't who Steve remembers. He's angry now. Bitter. Has a horrible scar that creeps up his neck and onto his face, pulling the corner of his lip down. Steve does his best to ignore it. Begs for work.

Eddie employs him, but only because he thinks it's fucking funny how far the king has fallen. Now the king works for the jester.

Steve does his best at the shop. Cleans a lot. Gets on well with the customers, charms plenty of sales.

Eddie walks with a cane and seems to hate everyone and everything; but nothing so much as a cold morning. Seems to be in more pain than usual.

Steve wants to ask, Eddie tells him it was an animal attack. In 86.

Steve's seen some of the scars by now, caught glimpses of how bad Eddie was hurt; helped Eddie even when Eddie was spitting angry about accepting any help.

What the fuck kind of animal could do that much damage in Hawkins?

You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

And Steve puts it together then, instantly and viscerally realizes in his bones what must have happened. No one ever believed Eddie. Why would they? How could anyone think that monsters coming out of the walls, out of the floors, out of glowing red portals could be the truth?

And Steve says, did it's face peel apart like a flower?

And then he tells Eddie. He tells Eddie everything. He shows Eddie his own scars. Tells him about every monster they ever come across. It was one of the demo dogs. Like Dart. Steve knew it must have been, but Eddie confirms with a description.

And then Eddie cries, because he finally has a explanation. He's not crazy. For the first time in his life, someone believes him.

[cookie-crumblr]

The Ghost of New Burrows

F!Reader x Masked Yandere OC

Part 5~

His Info📂☕️

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: FEM READER, Reader has a vagina, reader smokes and drinks, unprotected sex, p in v, rough sex, breath play, pet names (good girl, ), public sex (kinda. in a separate room), Creampie, exhibition for a sec,

Note from Cookie: I was listening to this for this part,

06:38, The Mesosphere, South Elegance District, New Burrows

“Detective,” His feathery breath against your lips, and his hand wrapped dangerously tight around your throat.

Good Gods how did you get here…

“Detective,” Fiorentino gets your attention.

05:04, Outside The Mesosphere, South Elegance District, New Burrows

Even in the daytime, even without the rain, New Burrows is shrouded in hazel grey darkness from the smog that blurs the horizon, and blots out the sun.

Crime and seduction doesn’t wait for the night to happen here. It doesn’t have to.

He offers his arm to you, His suit jacket exposing his loosely worn watch, a dare to all to just try and steal it, see what happens.

“And where were you just now, Detective?” A soft smile adorns his lips, an unusual sight to you, since you’ve only ever known this man as evil.

You take the offered arm, “I don’t even know to be honest.” You cant recall what you were thinking about. Probably absinthe, and your next cigarettes and one night stand. You chuckle.

“I was going to accept your answer, but now you must tell me,” He leans down to reach just above your eye level.

Your face warms, “Get away, hah,” you playfully push him, you are his date tonight, and he’s not exactly making you uncomfortable.

This whole thing is just…

Weird.

But,

Maybe you’re not too good for the Underworld…

“alright,” he relents, “by the way, The dress looks amazing on you. Thank you for obliging an old man like me,” He takes his turn laughing.

He bought you probably the most expensive article of clothing you’ve ever seen. Of course you’d wear it. You didn’t want to look out of place, but with this dress you might look too expensive for even this event. Whatever it is.

oh well, better to look more, than less.

“I’d of been a fool not to, and i don’t even know how you got my measurements correct, it must have been some work,” You tell him.

“I’m good at more than a few things, Detective.” His head remains high on his broad shoulders as he escorts you inside.

05:49, The Mesosphere, South Elegance District, New Burrows

You were light headed as soon as you stepped foot inside the establishment. Never have you breathed air so fresh, even with most of the patrons smoking something in here.

They can afford to cycle fresh oxygen in a place this large!?

And is that… The sky?! You’ve never seen a blue so pure… The floor to ceiling windows all around you display the real sky! the sun, the white fluffy clouds you read about as a girl, the whole shebang.

He walks you over to them, hand on the small of your back, it’s truly breathtaking.

You remained constantly flabbergasted as the servers practically roll out the red carpet for this man. Attending to his every need, no matter how ridiculous it sounds to you.

A feathered cushion for you, whole bottles of expensive (and real) wines, crystal ashtray, you name it this man just made this place a second home. or third… “How many do you have?” you ask absently before thinking to stop yourself.

“How many what?” His smile is playful.

“Homes… do you have?” You make a somewhat shy gesture, for some reason you feel nervous around him.

“I only have one, but i do have a few offices” He takes a long drag of a real cigar.

You think of how unfair this world is, and all the innocent people you can’t even protect, living in poverty. You almost blurt something about it out before the lights dim.

Some people with masks eerily similar to The Ghost’s enter the stage, wheeling out something large under a thick cover.

“What’s—”

“Auctions” He answers simply. Smoke spills from his nostrils, like he’s a large, greedy dragon. You take note of his red jeweled rings, set in gold bands. One silver with an emblem that looks like it could have been a wax seal. You don’t recognize the symbols, but you try to memorize it to sketch later, and research.

Your attention is drawn back to the stage when they start to remove the thick black velvet cloth.

In a dramatic motion a cage is revealed, and inside…

Your eyes widen, as your heart pounds.

“What’s going on!?” You whisper loudly to Giovanni, “Why is there a person in a cage!?”

“You’re the detective,” suddenly his smile is much colder now.

You sip your wine, and look away, nerves becoming too much to bare. Your cloth napkin falls over and you notice something’s written on it.

It’s facing away from Fiorentino thankfully, so you take the advantage of his next distracted moment to subtly read it without moving it around too much.

“green door at 6” it’s written in a script that looks classy enough to be anyone here. They’re left handed, or at least ambidextrous, judging by a small smudge in the fabric.

“I have to use the restroom…” It’s already 05:58 now, if you want to find that door you need to, now.

His huge, thick hand pulls you back down, landing you in his lap. “Do you now?”

“Yesss, sir,” You squirm and give your best pout trying to endear yourself and really sell it. “I reaally have to go!”

He relents, but, “The bathroom is that way, Degective. Don’t go wandering now.”

Damn.

“Thank you!” You try and sound relieved and think it works. He’s back to his cigars, and auctions.

Thankfully, you spot the green door, it’s right next to the bathrooms!

You look at your watch, 06:12.

He’s in a mask, but his mouth is exposed.

It’s him.

Your ghost.

You almost want to… Hug him?

“You were supposed to be here at 6” His lips move hypnotically.

You don’t know what comes over you in that moment, but you are undoubtedly drawn into him.

Your mouths almost collide, when you feel that familiar slender hand in your hair, yanking you back. He closes in around you with his body, bringing his mouth to your now exposed throat.

“Y/N, you think you can cheat on your date with me?” He tuts, grazing his teeth against your exposed skin.

“I… Can’t stop thinking about you…” You admit.

“What a good girl, admitting that to me,” His voice takes on a cutesy kinda lilt.

“Please…” Your body is burning, had you been expecting it to be him in here waiting for you?

You certainly hoped so.

You don’t even think about the human on stage right now, you can’t fathom it. Not right now.

In the city you tried so hard to protect… What horrendous things happen just behind the hideous guises of pretty faces and classy dresses. They’re animals.

You’re a star, he makes you burn like one, he orbits you like another. Right now the rest of the people outside are just the debris of planets, and moons, and asteroids revolving around you both.

Their gravity isn’t oppressive while you’re a binary star with him.

His hand wraps so tightly around your throat, that you see spots immediately, and your gasp is cut short before he loosens, and tightens again.

his mouth trails bites down your front, he’s moving the slit of your V neck dress off your shoulders and exposing you. Teeth graze your rib cage and you’re already drawing blood from your bottom lip. Eyes squeezed shut tight, as if you’re shy, and head turned to face away.

How does he make you feel like this?

You can’t even bring yourself to ask him any of the questions on your mind. Some detective you are, and right now you don’t even have a smidgen of remorse for it.

“Detective,” His feathery breath against your lips, and his hand wrapped dangerously tight around your throat. “I want you here with me right now.” He growls. “You’re always somewhere far away. Stay with me.” His hand tightens, and your mouth hangs agape for air you cannot get.

His lips take yours, tongue dancing with yours, making you so dizzy, you’d fall if he wasn’t holding you up with his knee between your legs.

Traveling down now, his fingers find the slit in your dress and tickle you on their way to your sex. They press down on you over your panties, rubbing hard between your already wet slit.

“You weren’t this wet last time,” He smiles into your kiss. Suddenly he picks you up and your dress is hiked around your waist, you’re on top of his erection and you grind down letting out pleasured moans, not even caring how loud you are.

The ghost chokes you again, this time as he bucks up into your core, a squeak is all that comes out of you, and he lets out an airy chuckle, at how cute that was.

“Last time…” You say, as he’s moving your panties out of the way and rubbing his thick head against you, prepping you for his entrance.

His breath chills your bones as he steals yours, staring into your eyes, his amber spheres through the mask hold you as if wrapping around you and squeezing like his hand on your throat, his eyes constrict something in you as well. You can’t help but keep staring back, as he slides up into you, and sighs into your open mouth, giving you the only air you can get. it tastes like him.

Dangerous, and intoxicating.

You wish this moment could last forever, have you ever felt this good? while the world around you crumbles, you’ve found something at least with this man.

He pulls out fast and thrusts up faster, you bounce onto him. He is leaning against the wall for more leverage as he fucks up into you with an increasing pace.

Before you know it you’re coming onto his cock, and he immediately slows down to an almost painful pace, picking you up and sliding you back down.

“How’s my good girl feelin’?”

“‘m not yours” You mumble as your head lols backwards, and sways to his rhythm.

He lets out an airy chuckle that has you clamping around him.

“If you stay this tight I won’t be able to move”

You clench just to spite him.

He smacks your hip hard.

In a split second he’s moving again, spearing you so deeply, you want to cry. His hot tip kisses your cervix with every upward thrust, and without even realizing it fully you’re coming again.

The way your spongey walls contract and pulse around him has him groaning into your ear now.

“‘Wanna stay inside you forever,”

“Then do…” You just say it, “please take me there… The Island” You gasp and moan but get the words out the same, and he slows down again this time seeming to contemplate.

“you mean it.” He seems to tell himself that.

His thrusts get jagged and swift, pelting your guts in just the way you always wanted, he has you screaming now.

“Gabriel.” He grunts.

“What?”

“My name. Say it.” his voice is a gruff snarl. Your brows peak with pleasure and your toes curl so hard you may cramp. “Say it.”

“Gabriel! Gabriel!! Gabriel!!! Fffuck!!!” You scream to the Mesosphere. The sunlight outside, not filtered through smog, the blue sky through the windows as you came in.

He comes loads into you, hot, thick ropes of his seamen paint your walls a beautiful new shade.

He’s still pummeling you, with splashes of your mixed juices hitting the floor, when that green door opens, and it’s your date standing in the way, napkin in hand, and eyes ablaze.

[imaginespazzi]

NIVI OMFG!!! CHAPTER 11 update?!

Okay I was the anon wayyy back that said you should include a scene where Azzi and Paige get into an argument about Stephie, and Aszi calls Stephie “my daughter”… yup you did your big one there 😭 it was so simple (stupid soda LOL), but had the effect that it needed to! Poor Paige, just a reminder about reality and how truly, Stephie is Azzi’s daughter first and foremost and not theirs 😭���

Okay chapter 11 review time!!!

- holy shit, you writing P’s first W game and the fact that (ofc) it was against DC, and Azzi wasn’t there?!?! Idk why but I was holding out for her being there, like eventually coming at the end, and the fact that she didn’t is sooooo sad for Paige 😭 like poor Paige (I think my mind said “poor Paige” so many times throughout the chapter LOL), but I know that’s gonna stick with her forever

- DREWWWW. Nah man I’m sorry but Drew is just real! Call him a Pazzi hater rn, but he’s just looking out for his big sis! That scene of P in Drew’s room and Drew remembering that whole event… yeah that hit hard and made me cry fr fr 😭 I wish I could hug Paige lol

- the yapping comments about Paige?? How she was always a yapper, and then one day it just… stopped. Yeah girlie was broken and fr picked up the pieces and Drew was there and helped her do it. I can see why Drew resents Azzi now and I don’t fault him

- AND THEN AZZI ASKING PAIGE IF SHE’S FORGIVEN HER?? AND PAIGE DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING?? I would’ve genuinely been surprised if Paige said that she’s fully forgiven Azzi. I don’t think Paige has and I don’t think Paige has even fully processed what happened to them. I think she had to cope by blocking out what happened to them, rather than fully accepting it. And obvs, you can’t fully heal or forgive when that’s the case

- and then the ending, Azzi and Stephie hearing about Paige and her (what used to be) ultimate plan of getting to the Liberty?? That’s a big yikes, especially since Paige didn’t even tell them firsthand. Like idk how they’re all gonna recover from that.

Overall, I’m ngl, Azzi gave opp energy 😭 and I love Azzi down bad and obvs this chapter was from Paige’s POV, but man I am hurting for Paige LOL. My review and thoughts are already long as shit so imma stop now. But thanks again Nivi for the wonderful chapter! It was well worth the wait! (PS: Pls give Paige a big hug for me lol)

Ah omg friend that was you? Well I'm glad I did that justice. I wasn't initially sure if that was gonna happen in this chapter specifically but it made sense and unfortunately when it rains, it pours.

- I did actually consider maybe having Azzi come in but a) I already established that Azzi hasn't gone to see Paige play till the all-star game and b) I think if Azzi had actually tried something those first couple of months, the breakup never would've lasted this long.

- Drew's reaction is loosely based off of what I think my little brother's reaction would be which is basically that he'd be hella protective and honestly consider how much Drew has seen, it's definitely the right reaction in line with his emotions. I think when you see an older sibling, especially one that's so strong, break like that, it leaves an impression.

- Paige basically hasn't ever given herself time to think about what happened. She had basketball and in the middle she had Olivia and then eventually it was all Azzi and Stephie. She's never given herself the opportunity to really get closure within herself about the breakup.

- Ah maybe they don't recover? Maybe some things just aren't meant to be?

Eyyy not too much on Azzi but no I get where you're coming from. She definitely did a number on Paige but hopefully you'll all feel a little more sympathetic when get more of Azzi's perspective on everything.

[tomhollandnet]

Tom Holland declares his love for Brazilian football and talks about his meeting with Neymar: “We’ve been trying for a long time”

The British actor Tom Holland, widely known as the current Spider-Man in the MCU, didn’t need to read a single page of The Crowded Room script, which premieres next Friday on Apple TV+, to accept the project. Especially because there was nothing at all to read. Tom was enchanted just by the story he was told by the show creator, Akiva Goldsman, Academy award winner for A Beautiful Mind, in 2002.

“I was excited to be in the project even before there was a script because it was something I’d never done before. Akiva sold the idea in an incredible way,” says Tom. “No doubt it was the hardest job I ever had. There was nothing remotely similar to this show.

There’s not much to say about the thriller that captivated the young actor as much as his co-star, Amanda Seyfried. Anything could reveal important plot details, but we can say that Tom plays Danny, a young man involved in a shooting in Rockefeller Center, New York, in the summer of 1979. In prison, he crosses paths with investigator Rya, played by Amanda. [...]

“I shot this show before The Dropout was released. I was looking for a project that allowed me to interpret someone completely different,” says Amanda, who in the Star+ production interpreted the con artist Elizabeth Holmes.

Amanda and Tom had never worked together before. The American actress knew the blockbusters he had been in and his performance in Lip Sync Battle, in 2007: a cover of Umbrella by Rihanna.

“I’ve seen him in big productions, such as Uncharted, and I’d seen his Umbrella performance. I laughed so hard. I thought: ‘this kid is really talented’,” she recalls. “I thought it was really cool that he wanted to take this deep dive now.”

CONTROVERSIAL HAIR

For this show, Tom also had a job as producer. Although he had taken a similar position in last year’s Uncharted, he was even more present in the making of this new show.

“In Uncharted, I was part of the script writing process, looking for directors. But in The Crowded Room, I went deeper: I got involved with costume design, hair and makeup, I discussed which directors and cinematography director we wanted. It was a much more immersive experience,” says the young actor, who fought for the look his character has on the show. “Danny’s hair was my choice.The studio wanted me to keep the hairstyle I had at the time, but I cut [my hair] just the same. Apple ended up accepting that we’d made the right choice, but they were very, very hesitant at first.”

IN THE PIT WITH NEYMAR

Sporting a completely new look, the Brit went to the F1 Grand Prix in Monaco, on the 28th [of May], and drove Brazilian fans mad by taking a photo with Neymar at the event. When he heard the commotion it had caused on social media, he laughed and didn’t spare any compliments:

“I think the way you play football [in Brazil] is a form of art. I’m a big fan of Neymar. We’ve been trying to meet for a long time but any time we arranged anything, it ended up not happening,” Tom says. “The only time we didn’t plan to meet, we bumped into each other. It was good to finally meet him. I love Brazilian football.”

Loosely translated by tomhollandnet

[emerysarchive]

Genuinely I just have to write these headcanons out for the sake of my sanity XD

I thought I could structure it, but as always I just end up rambling and this is more from my Tav p.o.v than Gale's.

Tav is named Maeve (she/her) a wood half-elf abjuration wizard (with 1 level in cleric). I have a post about the specific headcanons for her.

Since Bg3 has no artificers I settled for the guild artisan background. She's crafty and no layer of the Abyss has ever seen this much anxiety stored in a single half-elf. She is trying her best and at the end of the journey happened to have some gray hairs already showing.

Be wary of spoilers, especially for act II and the occasional sarcastic/sassy remark (and all grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language and this is only loosely edited)

(Some events are out of order is what I mean...mostly)

CW: anxiety/panic attacks, suggestive content (at the end of act II...how surprising)

Edit: Ok as I'm writing this, it feels like a bullet pointed fanfiction XD.

Get ready for ✨ organised chaos ✨.

Act I

• Maeve never saw herself as a leader, until she was unceremoniously thrown into the position.

• Meeting Shadowheart after the crash she assumed it's going to be a team effort until they found more allies. She realized that in order for this to work there has to be someone to organise everyone otherwise it's going to be chaos.

• With two wizards in a party she knew that she will have put all of her alchemy knowledge to use. Those scrolls don't come cheap after all so they need to be resourceful.

• She was all too relieved when Gale offered to cook for the camp.

• "I assumed your left eye wasn't twitching because of the unwelcomed guest in our heads."

• Early on it became a habit for Gale to cook while she was nearby making potions, elixirs and coatings with the occasional bomb thrown in the mix.

• Then she learned there's an actual, magical bomb in Gale's chest. The kneeling surprised her more than that revelation.

• This innate curiosity and immediate acceptance took Gale by surprise. He thought she would cast him out of the camp however he was greeted with assurances and the promise that she will help him with the orb.

• Maeve is familiar with wizard arrogance so having Gale around made her feel like she's back at the academy among her peers...just in a more life threatening environment.

• This wasn’t exactly what she meant when she wished to go on a adventure after graduating a couple of years ago.

• She has heard many wizards wax poetic about their life goals, but most of them only end up sounding like shallow, pompous assholes (Honestly with any topic).

• Gale was in that category until she got to know him and admit to herself that she has never met anyone with so much genuine love and passion for magic.

• Magic isn't just a tool, it's an art form.

• With a new outlook she wanted to get to know Gale of Waterdeep. She already had heard about him, but wasn't ever interested to know anything further. Now she had the chance to personally get to know him.

• The second she learned he liked to play lanceboard she underwent a side project to make him one out of wood. It was nice to make something for a friend for once and not just because they needed to survive.

• Speaking about that, thanks to her dad she had always been careful about not accidentally poisoning herself when it came to suspicious plants. That streak of luck ended when Nettie cut her with maybe the only poisonous plant she didn’t recognise.

• Gale's reaction was sweet, but the underlying subtext made her worried (there can be only one person willing to sacrifice everything for everyone).

• When they saw the goblin prisoner and the tiefling aiming the crossbow at her. Maeve stepped between without question, knowing that the bolt will bounce harmlessly off of her arcane ward. The tiefling woman didn't know though, but Gale did and even then he couldn’t help but admire her courage.

• Many quiet evenings with each other as company (also the occasional story times), as well as dangerous fights later new feelings started to arise when around Gale. She hadn’t had a crush in a very long time and knowing their situation this was rather unexpected.

• On Gale's side he hadn’t met anyone who goes starry eyed at ancient artifacts or historic places. Especially the cursed kind.

• Also her excitement about finding new potion recipes as well as plants have never been more endearing.

• Her keen focus on her work made him hard not to steal all to many glances towards her when he was reading or cooking.

• She always had her hair braided, in a ponytail or mix of both so the times she let's her brown hair loose (the red highlights were starting to fade) made something stir in his chest that wasn't the orb for once.

• When she's doing alchemy some rogue strands of hair tend to caress her face that he wants to gently brush aside...

• One night she found him staring at the minor illusion of Mystra. While it was strange how she felt when he talked about her, she could understand for a wizard to be fascinated of a diety who is magic itself. What she didn’t understand were her own feelings. Every other wizard worships Mystra or has some kind of token of hers. But Gale had a rather person first hand experience. Was it truly jealousy?

• When asked to experience this raw feeling of magic, poetry and beauty she couldn’t deny it, but what she could, for the moment, were the butterflies when he walked past her so he could teach her the right incantation and somatic components to channel the Weave.

• With a precision of a surgeon she copied his movements. The sudden rush made her pleasantly surprised. Next he asked the concept of harmony and she thought of her family, only for purple light to spark and then an aurora surrounded them.

• Another rush of emotions went through her as she accidentally touched his hand when she stepped back.

"You did it. You're channeling the Weave. How does it feel?"

It was magical. Sensual even. The connection...the intimacy. She knew this is a risk, but it was hard not to convey her desire. A romantic walk on a beach, their hands in each others as they walk and admire the celestial canvas.

She would have assumed it was just her embarrassment rushing through this connection, until she felt elation and that certainly wasn't hers until Gale spoke.

"Sorry. I wasn’t expecting...but it is a pleasant image to be sure. Most pleasant, in fact. Most welcome."

• Well at least she won't have to die tonight.

• At the tiefling party though she was blindsided when some of her companions expressed their desires to spend the night with her...she even had to ask Lae'zel if she's asking what Maeve thought she's asking. Apparently treating someone like an equal and a person might send off the wrong message to someone who is deeply traumatised or had been brainwashed....or both.

• At least Karlach and Wyll didn't misread the signals.

• She approached Gale last only because of the idea of doing that made her feel nervous. He had assured her that day after that he meant what he said, but still. The nerves went away when he spoke of Tara, his tressym (not a cat) and then the loneliness of being in his tower for a year.

• It was heartwarming to hear she reminded him of someone very important to him. She would want nothing more to see her own family, even just for a moment.

• To lighten the mood she joked she's actually a nymph in disguise when regarding the comment that he should be finding more mortal friends. She couldn’t help but prolong the conversation as long as she could. After all she knew that Gale would have a chance to make a list long enough of what he likes about her until dawn. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking and her desire to listen to him longer.

• He insisted that she go and enjoy the festivities. Begrudgingly she did, ending the night fantasising about Gale.

• The Underdark was truly quite a perilous place. She had never seen such a fascinating flora and was all to eager to try to experiment with it....even if it cost her arcane ward charges in the process.

• Her dad would be disappointed in her approach, but to be fair she has no idea what kind of safety precautions she needs with these plants.

• The sussur flower was particularly interesting, as well as the bark they got for the mysterious blueprints they found. Granted when the flower nullified her magic completely it made her feel not just vulnerable, but hollow.

• The only true highlight of the Underdark was when they found the Arcane Tower and the magical construct named Bernard. Sure, Gale found the excessive use of poetry a bit too much, but she found it creative and sweet. Going through books and finding magic items set her spirits higher after trying not to get incinerated by mushrooms and exploded by traps. The sudden spectator didn't help this journey be a bit less tiring.

• As for Grymforge, when they were done with Nere it made exploring the place much easier. What wasn't easy was the fight which left more than just physical scars.

Act II

• Ever since Maeve had learned to channel her arcane ward onto others, she had been doing nothing but that, even to her own detriment.

• This made Gale worry more, especially after the Nere fight where he nearly died. This prompted Meave to focus on protecting him more than before. He didn’t have an extra suit of armor like her no matter how temporary it is.

• Protection, banishing enemies and nullifying magic is her field of expertise. Gale was very aware of the point of her chosen school of magic. She's becoming a master at a rapid pace. It was always breathtaking seeing her in action. The cold, steely focus, the magic of her wards, the pure determination and optimism despite their dire odds.

• Even still, the guilt didn't leave him and he made sure to be useful and less of a burden next time. She put trust in him, he couldn’t fail her like that again.

• It's just a matter of time when the energy of her ward runs out. He fears what will happen then.

• Their journey lead them to Shadowlands where an unexpected person waited for them...rather Gale specifically.

• You know, Maeve thought that meeting THE Elminster would have been the highlight of her wizarding career. Instead the archmage rolled in all his cheese loving glory to give the most outrageous request from Mystra. No, not a request, basically a death sentence.

• Whatever respect she had for her disintegrated in an instant. What else was completely turned to ash was her heart when Gale accepted this suicide mission without a shadow of a doubt.

• Everyone in the camp was outraged, even Shadowheart who was faithful to her goddess expressed the same sentiment. Maeve had a moment of levitity when Karlach mentioned she could go to Gale and say that she has never read book since she was a kid. Even still her heart grew heavy with dread.

• Afterwards Gale became more forthcoming about his feelings towards her at odd times. This threw her off a bit, though were also welcomed surprise. She feared that if she doesn't talk him down she's going to lose him forever. This is not the beginning of the end for them.

• As they got closer to Moonrise towers she had her own revelation or rather enlightenment. It wasn’t because she had gotten nearly drunk by whatever ghastly concoction Thisobald Thorm had made. Her mind had stayed surprisingly clear with her allies helping her. She had already accepted that no amount of divinity will save her digestive system, but somehow it stayed intact.

• The revelation in question had her reevaluate her decisions. She can't save everyone if she keeps making herself as a sacrificial lamb in every fight. She was confident in her companion fighting abilities, after all they were all doing the most damage to their enemies. She just tried to keep them safe from dangerous afflictions that magic can bestow or even spells that could do near fatal damage.

• What forced her to face this was literally facing a dark version of herself and her fellow companions. More so the latter. She knew this was a trial however seeing your evil, illusionary friends die, especially the man you care for dearly (almost love if not already), will leave a mark on your psyche.

• If she's gone she doesn't know who will step up as the next leader. She has to make sure all of them survive the fight against The Absolute. And she still has that lanceboard to finish, gods be damned.

• She's not the hope as the High Harper called her. Or really everyone in that inn. Actually she was getting quite tired of that title. And getting titles in general, mycanoids truly went over the top with them. She was already crumbling under pressure and their exploration of the Shadowlands helped her stay distracted.

• Then Mol had to get kidnapped only to prove that she can't protect everyone. It was more like a sick, cruel twist of fate. The children reactions had her have the long awaited breakdown during the night.

• She felt it coming like a storm so she made sure to be away from the camp. Scratch and the owl bear cub were surprise guests, but the emotional support she needed that night.

• She steeled herself even more. If a fight can be avoided then she will use trickery if needed. It happened with the drider, then Thisobald, then the devil Raphael didn't particularly like. Gale shared his admiration for her silver tongue, but also the slight fear.

• She hoped he didn’t mean it seriously and more as a compliment, but this made her get back to herself just a bit. A bit more feeling, a bit more emotive, a bit less fake.

• Then she saw the projection Gale had made before the fateful fight. It made her stop and collect herself, trying not to get caught in the current of the worst case scenarios.

"He wouldn’t go and face it alone." She thought to herself, gathering whatever crumbs of her courage she had left.

She followed the path Gale's projection had pointed at (she had to do everything to not go into a full sprint). Seeing him doing his magic, sitting on the grass made her feel like she could finally breathe.

"He's alive. He's here."

She had almost missed the illusion Gale had made, even if it was brightly illuminated in the sky. Her focus had only been on him, a thought nagging her mind that perhaps this is just a dream and will turn into a nightmare once she wakes.

But this wasn’t. This was real. She sat next to him and gave a hesitant smile. He started talking in a way that sounded like a goodbye more than anything else.

"You seem especially philosophical this evening. Are you all right?" She teased despite knowing full well the answer. She just wished desperately he would have a different one this time.

"I will be, soon. I am perhaps just one hard day away from being without any troubles at all. This may be my last night alive. I wanted it to be under a canopy of beauty and wonder...with company to match."

She stared at him, hanging on his every word.

"I thought this place might bring me peace. I thought it might make the weight of what I must do a little lighter...but I'm not sure."

In her life she always had a way with words. Written more than spoken though, she wasn't as eloquent as him...outside of tricking your way out of life threatening situations.

When it came to expressing her own emotions, she couldn't weave her words to make it sound like poetry...so she tried honesty.

"I refuse to believe this is the end. We'll find another way, I promise." Her desperation almost came through her voice.

She tried to convince him again, once he didn’t seem to budge at all. This is not the right way and this is not his fate. It won't be.

"Nothing is inevitable. Not when we face it together. You don't have to die."

The mood shifted, the magnetic pull she had for him got stronger. It was nothing like the connection they shared in the Weave. You don't need magic to feel the unshackled intensity of emotion...the bond they clearly shared with one another.

"I'm so very glad you came, to share this with me. I know this is all unreal, but I created it for you. You must know that you're...That you're very special to me. If things were different, if we were home, I'd have taken time to do things properly. To say it all better. But time is short. I'm in love with you."

There was no hesitation in her response. "I'm in love with you too."

The tension in his body dissipated as she smiled. "That's a relief. It would be a shame to spend my final hours making an ass of myself."

Previously when she had kissed anyone she had never really felt anything. It was just another thing couples tend to do. But maybe it was the danger, maybe the uncertainty of their future that made their kiss spark a fire in her.

"I hope this wasn’t a parting kiss."

"Not if I have any say in the matter."

She knew the desire to make things perfect, but to bond in a way gods do? She wanted the real him, the man behind all of these grand illusions he had created. She wasn't a goddess he needed to 'wow'.

Still she decided to indulge him and he created a projection of his home. It was finally nice to have a picture painted more clearly of the place he lived in.

She was all to engrossed in everything, especially the part about books and the enchanted piano. The last thing that made her grin the most was the sunset. How she missed it...it was almost like she felt the warmth from the ray of lights.

Then the underlying melancholy breached this blissful ignorance. She sat down, making him turn his attention towards her.

"My favourite spot. Many times, evening turned to night and back to daybreak once more while I sat here, lost in words."

He mentioned a book called "Art of night". Of course leave it to him to seduce someone with a book. She wasn't someone who particularly enjoyed such physical intimacy. It wasn’t the first thing she desired to do with her partner or the tenth for that matter.

The thought of having the stars be their bed and intertwining souls, while sounded magical, it didn't make her think of the act all the more romantic. Perhaps it's the wood elf side of her talking.

Nevertheless she allowed her soul to drift what might be the Astral Plane just to feel what it is like and it confirmed to her that truly the best illusion would be a physical bed and their skins touching each other. This was all impressive, but she noticed perhaps it's finally time to show him how pleasant bonding as mortals can truly be.

~

If you made it this far, congratulations. Here's a cookie 🍪.

Rest of Act II and III might be coming at some point *shrugs*. Honestly I just needed to write this out, as mentioned at the start. Now I feel more sane and can focus on my writing projects.

[fearowkenya]

Ocean Wave, Part 2: A Winding Current

“I was curious.” Dracmon fidgets idly with the little golden loop near the spike on his right wing. “Somethin’ about you drew me in… and I couldn’t walk away. When we fought together, it felt right. More right than anything I’ve ever, ever felt. And now… I just want to be with you.” Dracmon wasn't always by Kaito's side. Which begs the question: part 1 - footprints in the sand Who was he, before the arrival of his other half? part 2 - a winding current And what was he doing, on that fateful day?

Part 2 covers the moment that Dracmon and Kaito met for the first time. once again, tumblr dot shit hides posts with external links in tags, so the ao3 link is in the source.

EDIT: fixed formatting on ao3 - indentation on mobile should look better now. extended authors notes under cut!

SO there was a TON of ideas that went into part 2, mostly stemming from, as i've mentioned, me being mad that kaito and dracmon were the only ones not to get a fancy champion evo sequence on-screen. i said in my authors note on ao3 that as i was playing, i just assumed it happened off-screen, but then i asked myself "what if it didnt?" and the answer i came up with was "maybe dracmon could already innately reach champion" and then i worked backwards from there.

next - aesthetic changes to dracmon. i am a HUGE sucker for digimon being matchies with their partner. before dracmon met kaito, i think all of his eyes were red, both the ones on his face and the ones on his hands, and the ones that are green only became that way after meeting kaito and devolving from sangloupmon. it's kind of like in tamers when beelzemon's eyes change colour after he makes amends with his partners. i also made changes to the accessory situation - after meeting kaito, instead of the little chain with the green gem in the middle, dracmon would have piercings on his wingtips that are the same shape and on the same side as kaito's. i have like... a written list of all aesthetic changes across all stages for all the partner digimon at this point (except for renamon and gabumon - still thinking about those ones) so i will accept any invitation to blabber about them! i LOVE that shit, i cannot emphasize that enough!!

formatting this time was a little less intense - i only had one table i needed to work with, and tbh, most of my formatting issues were about indentation. im actually not really a fan of the standard ao3 formatting patterns, where there's double spacing after each paragraph and no indentation. i much much prefer how it is in most novels, where there's no double spacing and every paragraph is indented. i know people tend to be fussy about formatting in fics, and most of the ones ive seen use the double-spacing no-indenting situation. it's understandable, formatting is something i'm fussy about as well, so im trying to strike a balance between the way i like it and the way i've noticed that most others like it.

i like indenting. i use it to like... give a sense of flow to conversations and/or differentiate/shift between spoken word and narration. the vibe im trying to give when i increase indentation from line to line is that the conversation speed is picking up. im not sure how well that was conveyed, but i think it works all right.

once again, like in alligators, i left some deliberate loose ends. the most obvious one is "if that first tether pulling dracmon toward the ocean wasn't kaito, then what was it?" and listen. dont even worry about it (:

as im replaying the game, im noticing some really interesting stuff about the state of the digital world. in like...part 7, i think, there's an optional free time event where you can recruit a tentomon, and it mentions that a lot of other digimon have been behaving aggressively lately. paired with the fog, i think that what's happening is that the shrinking digital world is causing a lot of digimon to have to live in close quarters, and that a lot of them are "young" in the sense that they're still feral and incapable of speech or reason. that, plus the continuous spread of the fog, would make for a really hostile environment for the remaining areas of the world. im quite happy with the theory i've got that digimon might sometimes lose a bit of memory every time they regenerate. if you subscribe to that idea, the unusual aggression among the wild digimon makes a lot of sense - they're all young, they all keep getting exploded and forgetting what's going on, theres this terrifying fucking fog EVERYWHERE, which just feeds back into wild digimon being more on-edge, and therefore more aggressive. thats why tsumemon is a little unsure of hanging out with koromon at first in part 1 - it's a dangerous world for little guys!

this is kinda connected to why i have the digimon half of the cast crossing paths with one another. tsumemon and koromon have met, yeah, (even though they don't remember anymore) but also i think a few of the other characters have met too. i didn't linger on it, but kunemon was in part one of ocean wave , albeit very briefly, trying to warn dracmon about seadramon lol. Now Why Would He Do That? again. don't worry about it (:

and at last - what's next? i mentioned in another text post a few days ago that ideally id like to go back to some shuuji and lopmon stuff. ocean wave set up some context about a couple of things i want to explore about shuuji and lopmon's relationship, as well as some . hmm. alternate events. and what effect those alternate events have on the two of them. "what do you mean" dont worry (: mostly it is just me self-indulgently fixing a few gripes i had with truthful route's part 6. i'd also at some point like to post some doodles of aesthetic changes. i have a few sketched out but they're very messy lol

anyway wow this was a big ol comment post. thanks for reading this far !!

[theodoradevlin]

|Lady of Death & Shadows|

SUMMARY: Sebastian Sallow x MC. Snippets filling in between the final Shadow Quest Line Events:

1. Shadow of the Relic POV

2. Battle Against Rookwood POV

3. Smut at the end, desperate and probably not appropriate for what they all just went through - but I feel no shame because I am a heathen. Fueled by Linkin Park and playing with a more detailed storyline than the game provided, with a few changes of course.

***SPOILER WARNING***

Theo was tired. So tired. 

Her mind was still swirling from everything from everything that could have possibly happened in just 24 hours. 

Solomon. The catacomb….Rookwood. 

She couldn’t comprehend the damage that had been done. She just knew one thing.

It was all a fucking mess. 

-

Earlier that day: 

She had woken with a start this morning in the Room of Requirements, covered in sweat and shooting a litany of expletives having found herself unwittingly dropped off there. Mainly; 

“Sebastian Sallow you heedless, bastard.” 

But she had seen that ring. The small token that had been left by a ghost, screaming as a reminder of all the things that had still remained unspoken, and promises left in his wake. 

She knew what he had meant it as. A good bye. But she hadn’t accepted that. Wouldn’t accept it.

No, it simply wouldn’t do. 

It wouldn’t do later that day when she received the letter from Ominis begging her to meet him and Anne at the catacombs. 

It wouldn’t do as the three of them argued about what to do next, waisting precious time. Anne crying, and Ominis desperate to comofort her. His tortured glances over Anne’s head as he held her were directed at Theo. They spoke louder than words;  

“YOU were supposed to have stopped him from going this far.”

But she had known long ago, that wherever Sebastian was going to go, she would be just as heedless and follow. 

Because she would not accept a goodbye from him. 

She charged into the catacombs, burning a tunnel of flame that scorched the earth, littering the Inferi in it’s wake. She followed the trail of decaying bodies like breadcrumbs. 

Then there he was. Sebastian. Her fool. Surrounded by death itself.

Any traces of apologies were gone from him - eyes set in determination as he commanded the Inferi around him. 

He didn’t see her approach, nor hear the crunch of her boots on the bone staircase - because his focus was on the ex-auror who had just apparated with a look of death in his eyes.  Solomon. 

It all happened so quick - the first shot that was fired. She saw the look in Solomon’s eyes and she knew. There was no recognition of Sebastian as his nephew. There was no recognition of his desire to help his sister. 

There was simply the haunted past of an ex auror taking over, and determined to kill the threat in front of him. His wand made such decisive and cutting movements towards Sebastian’s direction - that she watched as the first cast almost caught him off guard. Sebastian who was never caught off guard, was slowly realizing that his Uncle cast to kill. 

Theo would not have that either. 

A cry ripped from her, her wand arm moving in a frenzied way she had never felt before. It was as if the ancient magic was crawling, taking over her, erupting and forcing her arm to move  in relentless cast after cast in Solomon’s direction to get him away from Sebastian, or to kill him - whatever came first.

The onslaught of her attack had Solomon reeling, Sebastian’s eyes met hers as he looked over his shoulder. He gave her a pained look as if he’d been hoping she wouldn’t have found him. They begged a question, 

Why?

Her eyes burned in answer.

I will always come. 

Together they parried shot after shot. 

Theo wouldn’t use her ancient magic. She wouldn’t waste it on him. She’d take her time… but Solomon, realizing his loosing battle, would not be so merciful with his tactics.

The lighting cast he summoned upon her hit her with such strength that it threw her body against the wall with such force, she heard bones crack. 

And so did Sebastian. 

His eyes widened in panic at the sound of it, and then darkened with malice as he turned back towards Solomon. 

Catching his eye, the man smiled darkly as he dealt a blow that would destroy Sebastian’s soul more than anything he could have done to his body.

With one decisive wand movement, Solomon engulfed the triptych, and anything Sebastian had that could have potentially saved Anne. It all went up in flames. 

Another way Solomon ensured Sebastian would never succeed. Because if he did, it would take away Solomon’s only shred of power he had left. He would rather they all suffer for the sake of it. 

And Sebastian had officially let him take the last act he ever would, putting those he loved in danger.

Theo felt it coming before she heard Sebastian utter the words, poising his wand arm towards the man in question. 

I WILL NOT LET HER SUFFER. AVADA KEDAVRA.

Too many had suffered at Solomon’s hands. And now they never would again. 

His body was cold before it even hit the floor. 

In the green flash, Theo could only watch as her mind reminded her that Death had followed her yet again.As if she summoned it wherever she went.

Her mind flashed to the night her parent’s died.

Then to the dragon attack.

And now - as if death had forced Sebastian’s own hands herself, Solomon’s lifeless body staring up at nothing.

The halls echoed at the sound of Sebastian’s heavy breathing, his wand dropping against the floor.

Then before any of them could process what had happened, there she was. 

Anne. 

Theo watched in pain for both of them…the way Anne’s face crumple as she looked at her brother like she suddenly had no sense of who he was…the twin she had been linked to since before she was born. The one person she had shared everything with was….now…now a stranger to her. She had lost the other half of her. 

And now so had he. 

The heat of her Confringo blast erupted in the room like nothing Theo had ever seen, destroying everything that had led them to this moment - the spell book, the inferi…the last shred of hope in Sebastian’s eyes as he watched her disintegrate it all. 

“ANNE - PLEASE NO- “

His pleas fell on deaf ears. When she finally looked back to him, her voice was cold and indifferent. 

“You’ve made your choice.” 

And then she was gone. 

Before the Wiggenweld had fully repaired what must have been a few broken ribs, Theo was struggling to right herself up. 

“Sebastian.” 

She called his name to him, repeated it to get him to come back to her. He didn’t. 

Her anguished words didn’t reach him. His breath hitched as he wordlessly ran from the cave. 

She forced her body to move after him, slowly beginning to move faster and faster as the pain faded and the Wiggenweld worked to repair what it could repair. 

He kept moving though, no matter the countless times she called his name. He ran until the ice of the winter air hit him, staring out into the abyss of the valley as he willed air into his lungs.

Finally reaching, Theo stood behind him. No matter what, she always would. 

For moment, the only sounds were their heaving breaths. 

“You didn’t mean it.” She whispered. She had killed so many times before this. Before him. She knew death’s face, having seen it all too often herself. 

Sebastian’s mouth slowly formed words.

“Didn’t I?” He swallowed as he recited his previous instruction to her in the Scriptorium. “‘The intention must be clear’.” 

She didn’t respond to this. Sebastian continued. 

“I’ve lost my parents. I’m going to loose Anne…this was the last hope I had.” He said, devoid of all emotion in the stark realization of it. 

“No. You forgot about me.”

Theo’s voice edged into his awareness. He winced.

“I thought we agreed we weren’t going to do that.” He breathed.

She steeled herself. 

“We agreed to do what it took to save Anne. This changes nothing. If anything, Solomon deserved it. I saw the way he was looking at you Sebastian. If you hadn’t killed him, he would have killed you.”

The anger fueled her, she stood in front of him, forcing him to meet her gaze.

There was no absolving what had happened, despite the truths she knew about Seb and Anne’s Uncle. 

There was only making sure it had all been worth it. 

“Listen to me. In the final Keeper’s trial, I …I learned about an ancient wand that can harness my powers…almost amplify it. Fig wanted me to use it to defend the ancient magic reserve in the school…but first maybe we can use it to help Anne. Maybe it’s strong enough to remove the curse, like Isadora removed the pain. Maybe I can…somehow manipulate her technique.” 

He considered her, barely daring to breathe. She pressed harder.

“Let me do it. Let me try. But I’m going to need to know every spell incase something goes wrong. Teach me the last curse. We do this together.”

Vaguely, Sebastian felt himself nod. He wasn’t sure if his body was even moving at it’s own volition at this point. He simply nodded, as he turned towards his lady of death to teach her how to finally command it herself. 

_

There was blood all over her. Again. Her eyes were wide as her chest heaved, standing in the ruins of what had been Rookwood’s camp just moments ago. 

She looked at his lifeless body on the ground, her mind wheeling. Her mouth set in a deeper grimace, she hit him with another blast from her wand again just to make sure he was dead.

Our interests will NEVER be aligned. 

I always said…children should be seen and not heard. 

He had cursed Anne. It had been him all along. The moment those words fell from his lips, they fell like his own death sentence. And she would ensure that it would be by her hands. 

She would claim that retribution. For Anne. 

For Sebastian. So he could be spared from yet another murder on his hands. 

Instead, it was in her waiting ones now. 

She didn’t have time to think how it had taken her hardly any time at all to use all of the unforgivable curses Sebastian had taught her. And he had taught her well.

She had to get back to him. He had to know the truth. 

_

As her broom sped towards the castle, a chill deeper than the winter cold settled on her skin, raising goosebumps on the back of her neck. Darkness enveloped the night, turning it an impossible shade of black. 

Her breath caught, as she neared the permitter of the grounds realizing what it was that brought the sudden drop in temperature. 

Dementors. 

The specters descended on her instantly, at the same time her wand was drawn, she shouted in desperation. 

“EXPECTO PATRONUM” 

The darkness of the sky was ignited by the bright wings of the falcon that spread further and further at her back, shielding her from their approach. But she didn’t look back. She sped further. The dementors being here could only mean one thing…the ministry had heard an ex-auror had been taken out somehow. 

She didn’t know if the meant anyone knew about Sebastian being the one at fault…but she needed to find out. 

Please okay, please be okay. 

Her eyes set upon the room of requirement as she found a landing near the astronomy tower and sprinted towards the hall in question, erupting through it’s hidden doors. 

“SEBASTIAN” 

Her voice was strangled, panicked. 

Then there he was. 

His eyes met hers as he emerged from the vivarium, looking at the state she was in, the blood that covered her - the fear in both their eyes. 

But he was alright. 

She cried out, “Thank Merlin.” 

She sprinted and crashed into him, ramming him against the wall as she held on, and he held tighter, against all odds. 

“Fuck.” Her words loosed out of her, their broken breaths mingling together.

“I’m here Theo. I’m okay. You’re okay? We’re okay.” His fingers stumbled into her hair, grabbing her against him as he chest heaved. The words that shook in fear against her hair line, half in promise to her and half to himself. Her…her hair was laced with ice….

“Theo - gods your cold as ice…what happened?” He immediately began to rub his hands alongside her in feeble attempts to warm her, to take his body heat.

She fell to her knees, shaking as he caught her, going down with her and refusing to put her down. She crumbled against him. 

“I thought they fucking got you - you idiot. I …” He pulled back to brush her hair aside.

“Sh..shh. Theo slow down. What do you mean? Who? Who got me?”

She stuttered “The dementors - Rookwood- I..” 

His eyes widened. 

“Rookwood?” His eyes darted to the blood on her clothes. “Theo did he - gods the blood is it-?”

“Not mine.” She confirmed. “It’s his.  I killed him. I killed all of them.”

His eyes widened as his brows knitted together in pain. He squeezed them shut in regret. He had given her the final unforgivable. He was taking her down with him. 

“Gods…Theo. I …I didn’t want this for you- “

“It’s what I wanted Sebastian. My intention was as fucking clear as it could be when I took his life. He …it was him. He cursed Anne.” 

Sebastian froze again. 

“He…Theo. What?”

“He told me…children should be seen and not heard. I wasn’t going to let him live.” 

Sebastian cursed as he gasped out, pulling her to him again with more force, visibly shaking now. 

“I…I don’t know what to say. I’m glad you killed him. I can’t believe it was -“ He pulled back, and caught her face pulling her towards him, kissing her with such reverence, his eyes lined with grief and awe as he looked at her again.

“You did it. You took him out. You’re fucking magnificent Theodora.” 

Vaguely in her head, she noted that it was yet another death that made the look of love shine brighter in his eyes now. 

But he was safe. And that was all that mattered. It reminded her.

She held up her hand weakly. “Ever since this morning I thought you meant this as a goodbye.” The words rushed out of her, the fear in the question she was asking him. 

His eyes softened in their worry, as he thumbed the black ring on her hand. “…I didn’t know if it would be. I didn’t want to leave you without…some part of me to take with you always, even when I can’t be there to look out for you.” He answered truthfully. 

Her breath hitched again at the thought of it. To have lost one more person today. Her body couldn’t handle it. 

“You’re a fool.” 

At the same time he breathed out

“I love you.” 

The two most interchangeable of their words, yet now he wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t. He needed them said out loud to her. She froze as she looked up at his haunted eyes. 

“I love you. And I need you to hear it. Because earlier today, I thought I’d never get to say it to you myself again.” 

All of the things she had seen this year caught up to her, crashing down upon her in one fell swoop. 

“You’ll say it to me as long as we live, if I have any say about it Sallow.” 

Her words choked suddenly in her throat as they held each other, frantic breaths and eyes searching as he held her in his lap, thankful the wall was behind him to hold him steady. His murderous, and relentless charge burning in front of him with those words she promised him. What they could mean for them. 

“I’ll fight for that future, Theo. I’ll fight for it whatever lay ahead.” 

Then she whimpered weakly as his mouth crushed against hers hungrily. 

Death had lingered too closely to them lately. She didn’t want it. She wanted to feel so alive she was consumed by it. By him. 

Her hands shook as they grabbed into the folds of his shirt, tearing it up above his head as he lifted his arms in earnest at her movements. His own hands, once released, ripped at her blouse - the thing already half torn was in complete tatters as he chucked it across the floor. His hands instantly all over her skin, one snaking around her lower waist and the other continuing as the rest of her clothing came off. 

For leverage, he had to turn her against the floor, she sighed as the coolness of the stone floor kissed her scarred back. 

There was barely time to pause at the change in position before her own hands shimmied down the trousers. He moved to accommodate her, but she tugged him back earnestly needing the weight of him between her hips. 

Kisses planted everywhere, each one a reminder to her that he was so thankful for what she had done, that she was reverent to him, and always would be.

“Merlin - Devlin …I’ll never stop worshiping you.” 

She gasped out, taking his lower lip in her teeth as a hiss snaked from his own mouth, eyes rolling back in his head. Her own hands fisted in his curls, holding onto him like she’d never let him go. They both pulled back for air, her gray eyes piercing him.

“No goodbyes. Not to this. Not to us.” She demanded. “Promise that to me. I’ll wear your ring. But not for that. Promise me Sallow - no goodbyes.” 

He nodded against her forehead, smoothing the hair from her face. “No goodbyes.” He promised, breathy and full of need. 

Suddenly, she arched her hips into him, just as he met her demand with his own, needing the space between them to be fucking nonexistent. The tip of his head inched her open bit by bit, she threw her head back with a strangled sigh. 

There was going to be no gentleness here. She knew and he knew. It wasn’t what they needed now. What they needed was to burn from the ground up. 

Instantly, his movements were desperate. The force of his thrust inched her across the stone floor, so he wrapped a hand on her lower back to still her, bracing another at her head, their broken breaths mingling as they took what they needed. 

Her legs wrapped around him as he pummeled into her very core, she could feel her slickness entirely out of control as it enveloped his movements inside of her, and began to cause a mess between their legs. She didn’t care. It was all for him. It always had been. 

“Fuck - Seb - I’m so-“ 

“You’re so perfect. That’s what you are Devlin.” He ground out against her mouth, taking it in all consuming kisses.

He ground his hips deeper and deeper as he breathed more words into her mouth, “You are perfect. You are salvation. You are death. You are fucking life. You are everything. You’re all of it.” 

She cried out, her nails adding more scars down his freckled back, tears swimming in the corners of her vision as he sent her body into overdrive, his cock throbbing inside of her, his reverent exclamations on her lips. She didn’t know how much longer she could handle it. She felt herself clenching. 

“Seb - I-“

“I’ve got you. Go ahead, love. I’ve got you..’ He continued to hold her as he rocked her through her orgasm, as she shuddered over and over against him. 

The look of her coming apart under him had his body reeling, all limit gone. He sputtered into her, hands buried into her hips as he rolled and took his release, gasping out and collapsing against her. 

It had been hurried. It had been frantic. It had been a reminder that they were both, indeed, still alive. 

He took her in his arms, as they trembled. Neither of them knowing what would come for them. But it didn’t matter. She was his lady of destruction and salvation. He meant what he’d said.

Whatever future waited for them, he’d fight like hell for it. 

[ryuka-takane]

🖤Hey, welcome to my RP blog for Ryuka! This character is my OC for Alice in Borderland. I've been writing a fic with her, but this blog is specifically for RP interaction. I accept interactions/prompts through ask.🖤

A few rules:

Canon-typical violence is allowed. But please do not god-mod.

Mun is NOT muse, please do not confuse the two! When OOC, I will indicate it with parentheses.

Respect mun's personal life. Mun is barely divorced and trying to sort life out as a single mom to a baby born in '22 of October, so very much still needs me when I'm not at work. (Job searching since I've moved)

Family comes first for mun, work second, and then hobbies such as fic writing and RP.

Making a pass at mun at any time is unacceptable; I have had it happen before, but will be quick to shut it down. If we are RPing and this happens, the RP will also be stopped if my boundaries aren't respected. We can be friends, mun just isn't looking for more than that!

Minors DNI! This blog, as with my main blog, is 18+ only. Mun is 29 going on 30 this year, and I will not budge on this rule.

Smut is not a topic I particularly wish to delve into. Romance is fine, but Muse (Ryuka) only has romantic interest in Chishiya, and thus, I consider her to be demisexual. Other writing will be platonic. Again, please don't cross Mun and Muse when it comes to romantic interactions.

Have fun!!

Rules being covered, here's Muse's bio!

Ryuka Takane (she didn't originally have a last name; Takane is her last name)

-----------------------

Age: 24

Height: 5'3"

Weight: 115 lbs (based upon BMI research)

Hair color: Chestnut brown with crimson streaks

Hair length: Falls to her upper thighs, with sideswept bangs. Eventually cut just above her collarbone (events leading to this may differ from fic)

Skin color: Pale, but not devoid of melatonin.

Eye color: Golden hazel

Profession before the Borderland: Customer Service Representative in a music store; specialized in the guitar section, particularly bass.

Nationality: Japanese-Korean-American (Mother is full blooded Japanese, father is Korean-American)

Personality:

Ryuka Takane is typically soft spoken and keeps to herself, outside of her job. Though ready and willing to help customers, when it comes to social interaction outside of work, she prefers to keep to herself. She has very few friends because of this, but once attached to someone, whether in friendship or otherwise, she will defend them unless they give her reason not to.

Ryuka has a hot temper hidden behind her sweet, quiet demeanor. It's both easy to fluster her, and to make her tick. She's seen herself as an outcast since childhood, and her lack of social interaction as a result has made it difficult for her to manage her emotions at a base level. Witnessing a divorce as a young teen caused some hang ups with romantic viewpoints, and resulted in a terribly failed relationship at 17 years of age, after which she swore not to get attached to anyone again (and hasn't). One may describe her as being "tsundere," if they get to be around her for long enough.

Ryuka has a moderate level of intelligence, often surprising others around her at how perceptive she can be, though her skills are best suited to pattern recognition and reading facial queues. She isn't a genius by any means, but she makes an effort to let her intelligence be known if slighted.

Attire:

Ryuka is typically seen wearing three colors--black, violet, and lime green. She cycles through loose fitting hoodies and skinny jeans, to regular form fitting t-shirts and tank tops with skinny jeans. Combat boots are her preferred shoe. Most of the hoodies she's had typically have cat ears sewn onto the hood of them. She likes to wear wrist bands as well, and may occasionally be seen wearing a choker. Save for her ears, she has no other piercings.

Hobbies: Singing (when alone), dancing (again, when alone), playing bass guitar.

Likes: Music, alone time, cherry blossoms, k and j-pop, j-metal and American metal

Dislikes: Excessive physical activity (though she has excellent stamina and reactionary skills), being lied to, extroverts, being treated as if she's stupid.

Fun fact: Ryuka can absolutely hold her own in a fight if she needs to. That isn't to say that she doesn't slip up at times, getting herself hurt if she grows overconfident in her ability to take someone down, but most would be surprised at how tough this tiny woman is.

[shawnjacksonsbs]

It really is just supposed to be about love.

Not the kind you only talk about, but the kind you feel and share. You may not know you're doing it, but the people around do. Trust that. 7-22-23

"Peace means far more than the opposite of war. Peace, like love or like hope, is an action one can take, something that can be done, not just something that might arrive." - Mr Fred Rogers

Looks like I've reached that point again.

That point of no getting back.

The ones where all the help and love I show(ed) is not good enough anymore to even be remembered, let alone validated.

Being disrespected and all the help taken for granted as a hole keeps getting dug deeper and deeper, can't. . . It just can't.

I want it over. Mainly so, the resentments and toxicity can stop growing and festering.

I believe wholeheartedly that healing will happen at some point in the future, and I don't want it worse now and even more difficult to fix for anyone later.

Hard to help people who aren't ready to help themselves, though.

As we all know, there just has to come a time, where even I have to say enough is enough.

Again . . .again . . .again.

I imagine it must get old reading how my gratitude is based loosely on a hope for loved ones who still have issues and struggles, even if they are mostly self-inflicted.

I am grateful though, for my life and in my ability to at least say that I tried, and I've been trying and trying and trying in the physical, emotional, and financial sense. Not just spewing crap based on hearsay. I've been living it.

I slip a lot, but I know I will continue to do what I think and feel is the right thing regardless of how I might get played or what anyone else thinks.

I can't say that that shit doesn’t hurt my heart. Being overlooked, when others have seen it, is painful, but I have to remember to try as hard as my heart will, that hurt people hurt people and it's not as personal as it feels. They're just stacked attacks. Resentments that kill all joy for everyone involved.

The next best thing to a healing is going to be forcing an uncomfortable change. Further enabling is out of the question.

I imagine the worse part for me is feeling all the pain from everyone, even those causing the pain. None of this is what I want, but we don't always get what we want, right?

Holding on and hoping my work doesn’t suffer too much as trust issues ensue.

I hope the next inevitably painful step isn't too uncomfortable.

Sorry about all the feels in this entry, but I went as generic as I could make it, but I needed to vent my hurt out.

And it's only the middle of the week.

Wish me luck.

I'm sure I'll add more before Saturday arrives.

~

The second part of my entry comes in another form.

I have been, for the last few weeks, watching a show called the Chosen that my oldest son turned me onto.

It's a good interpretation, in my opinion. Most of you that read and follow me already know where I stand on belief and faith . . .

Doesn't change the fact that I'm open-minded and open-hearted and long ago went from feeling disrespected by people trying to guide me into religious directions, to that of feelings of love when they do. Mainly because I believe they care about me. I also believe we bring out the good, sometimes even bring out the better in each other(s).

After mentioning that I was watching the show, with some very close . . .friends, who just happen to be Christian and who are also pulling for my 2 oldest sons, respectively, I was reminded of a conversation we had about gay rights (kinda irrelevant to this entry). I'll limit each side, but to say we agreed on love and disagreed in other areas is where we ended the conversation.

I believe with my whole that they care about people, maybe differently, at least as some would view them, but regardless, it got me to thinking. And I already believe that things happen the way their supposed to, if not then go back and change . . .any past event, but accepting things that have passed is easier than accepting the things we are presently involved in. The, like "right now" acceptance is a most temperamental thing to be sure, for some. Dare I say, for most.

Doesn't change the fact that it's all suppose to be love from, the judging Christian, to the judging Muslim, to the judging atheist.

Believe what you want, but when start judging others, you fail, I don't care. All of us. It’s a constant failure, but we can try and learn to curb it. Mild or completely brainwashed, discrimination is wrong.

The clip (in the comments) set this all in motion in my mind, as I struggled with my day in my heart.

Granted videos like this that are generally meant to resonate in my heart, usually only point me to the hypocrisies attached, sometimes I find places to the love, the light, the silver.

The following is what I said to him: "Tell me how the beginning of this video reminded me of our conversation about gay people's rights.

Then, in the middle, I felt . . ."well, maybe it going a different direction", and then nope right back to the forefront of my mind at the end.

You know that already knowing all the stories, and a bunch of the passages and scripture helps me lean into the Chosen, and its interpretation.

All the while the same thing gets stuck in my brain; what if people are getting hung up on the Jesus being real part without putting enough stock into what the hell he was actually saying, doing, and who he chose to associate with.

Finding common ground would mean, that most humans on this planet believe in the God of Abraham, from there it’s just differing conviction, even if only personifying the universe under the guise of love. It's still bigger than any one of us.

Why isn't "just love" enough?"

~

It’s been a very heavy week for me.

If people focused more on actually doing what Jesus was saying about others, it would be leaps and bounds above the “judging others”. Don’t even have to believe in it to do it, and with it. . . PEACE.

Sorry Paul, I know this was a long one. (lol)

~

So, I guess I'll close. Be kind, love . . .everyone, and be grateful for it all. It really is that simple.

Until next week;

"There is no normal life that is free of pain. It's the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth." - Mr Fred Rogers

[lemonhemlock]

Part 2 below!

So, about that mod I linked previously, I went to the comments section and turns out it’s a little buggy for now, which is a shame, since I think it would be really fun to hear more companion comments as you’re wandering around. I spend a lot of time picking stuff up so it would be a cool way to interact with all the objects.

Also, you were right about there not really being many dresses around. I am mourning my fantasy of being a Faerun fashionista. 😪 I downloaded a bunch of clothing mods, but I don’t really like the ones that function in the armour slots. I want to use in-game armours, I’m just interested in cooler camp clothes. Alas. Maybe I’ll give the makeup mods a go, but I wish they wouldn’t act like replacers and just add more makeup options. Messing with Unique Tav seems too complicated atm.

"This is why it’s crazy for me to hear that some wives will accuse you of being ‘ableist’ if you’d want to find a cure for Astarion’s vampirism and that you should just 'accept’ him the way he is. Those two things are not the same at all! Let alone any kind of situation which leads to bringing more vampires into the world. " 100%

"Gods above, I did it for the morbid curiosity and it was just awful. Not even Gale deserves that, so I reloaded. I figured that it would be absolute blasphemy for the Beholding to take out one’s eyes, so Mirta would not be on board with this." Yeah I don't like doing the eye thing either and would never choose it in my playthrough. I do like how the fake eye looks on Astarion though and I wouldn't be surprised if that was his original eye color. (Mirta as a sort of avatar of the Beholding sounds fun!)

Indeed, I’ve seen some pictures of Volofied!Astarion and the colour did suit him. Any kind of cool shade would, I think. But, in all honesty, he wouldn’t look bad with any eye colour. The man is a Ken doll.

As for the TMA-infused playthrough, I’m thinking of the deities of knowledge like Oghma kind of like superpowered Beholding avatars themselves, like it’s the entity from which they derive their own abilities and act like sort of intermediaries. Playing fast and loose with canon, but I can do what I like, so. :)))) I just think it’s fascinating to use acute, intense experiences as sacrifices or gifts for a godlike being governing knowledge and surveillance. Wouldn’t matter if these events are good or bad as long as they’re “interesting”. So, in a way, Mirta would let Astarion bite her also because the Eye would find it funny. Nothing like morbid curiosity making you experience death and revival as your morning cup of coffee. :)) I think that’s why she’d let Abdirak whip her, too, or why she would entertain Shadowheart’s Shar delusions. A little tricksterish, as well, I suppose.

I honestly never messed around with the wizard subclasses and left Gale to the default one (Evocation) but I do intend to respect him at some point to try something new. Perhaps I'll try the Abjuration one. I also heard nice things about Divination. Initially I thought about Necromancy but I feel like it doesn't really suit Gale as a character. And yes, playing as a bard is very fun! I admit I had more fun as a storm sorcerer in my first playthrough because the class is simply more effective, but from a roleplaying standpoint bards are top tier. Fun fact, but in my first playthrough I initially wanted to choose the Wild Magic subclass, but I got discouraged after reading and seeing some of the random effects that can happen…I mean, transforming into a sheep or a cat during battles isn't very pleasant. I saw a streamer whose entire party got transformed into cats and dogs because of a wild magic surge.

Cats and dogs? That sounds crazy, I had no idea that could happen. :)) I’ll be honest, like with Warlock, I don’t really understand how to play sorcerer so I’ve steered clear of that class. But I agree with you, the bard dialogue options are insanely fun. I have the Phalar Aluve sword and I love the fact that it can sing. (I have that mod that gives you a feat every 2 levels instead of 4, so I chose Weapons Master for one of them.)

Unfortunately, I don’t think all wizard classes are made equal. I really like the concept of Enchantment but I’m finding that I can fit the theme more efficiently using bard spells like Vicious Mockery or Dissonant Whispers, honestly. I didn’t really experience many benefits from being an Enchanter, at least not for levels 1-4, and I was playing on easy mode, too. Enemies always ganged up on me, something to ridiculous levels, because I was so squishy. Like it didn’t really matter where I positioned myself sometimes, they’d still make a beeline to hit me and just jump over frontline fighters like Karlach to get to me. The only real benefit was that enchantment scrolls were cheaper, but that’s not really so important. Whereas straightaway with Abjuration class it’s so satisfying to see how my Tav just shrugs off blows now. It even works when you try to jump in an area with -2 or -3 HP, you’ll be fine. Also always having the Shield spell as a reaction is a game-changer.

And I did end up respeccing Gale as a necro cleric (Necromancy Wizard with 2 levels of Mystra Cleric for the heavy armour LOL), apropos of what you said. :))))) I got inspired by Astarion’s comment that his blood tastes like poison, so I’m giving him everything to do with necrotic damage, acid and poison (he also got the wand of bitter divorce in his inventory so he can summon zombie!Connor). He is a ticking time bomb at the end of the day, so death must be a constant thought in his mind.

"He gets more infuriating the more I learn about him! I watched some romance scenes with him from Act 1, out of curiosity, and, gods above, he is SO smarmy. I could never. 😂" You should see his act 2 sex scene, the version where he takes your Tav and has sex with them in the astral plane. It's by far the most bizarre scene in the game for me and it genuinely makes the idea of fucking Halsin in his bear form more appealing. I mean I'd rather do that than whatever this shit is. Here, I found one video with that part (the whole thing is a bit spoilery): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6LJVaTJcJ4 Like???? He even multiplies himself. It's so cringy. Mystra showing up is the only thing missing...

My boyfriend showed me this last week and I got the ick SO bad!!! It burnt my retinas!!!! 🤢 He was somehow unaware this was a possibility, as well (he romanced Shadowheart and said he just had conventional sex with her). Speaking of which, Shadowheart is slowly growing on me, but I just can’t with Gale. Tantric sex makes me gag!!!! 😭 Turns out an acid/poison build for him DOES make sense as he can make our enemies feel as nauseous as this made me!!!

And can you imagine Mystra showing up, too? The last nail in the coffin! I’m making Mirta a firm anti-Mystra wizard, from the sect of SHADE and SIDE-EYE.

He gets his own tent after you officially recruit him as a companion in act 2 as long as Minthara isn't in your party. If she is, she takes his place and installs her own tent. He will just hang around in your camp with no purpose whatsoever.

Fr!!! 😭

He will have party banter with all companions except Minthara but other than that, no specific quest other than his romance, which was added late in development and is very half-baked and poorly implemented. Which is another big, constant topic for discussion in the fandom since a lot of fans kinda hate it (for good reasons, mostly). I mean, when you as a writer do stuff like this purely because of fan service for frankly a lout minority of horny fans you're bound to receive a lot of not so positive feedback.

More on Halsin's addition: https://www.thegamer.com/baldurs-gate-3-developer-reveals-halsin-bear-druid-almost-wasnt-a-romance-option/ +

In a way the character himself got turned into meme material and wasn't taken seriously even by his writer. He leaned way too much into all of this bestiality crap and I do not mean the bear sex scene. He heavily implies in one banter with Lae'zel that he fucked a chimera and the origin of his facial scars? Well, a female bear mistook him for a real bear when he was in ursine form and wanted to fuck him. He rejected her and that's how he got those scars on his face. Come on, he could've obtained those in battle (and he participated in some) instead of…this. Even his voice actor doesn't care which fair, it's just a job for him. He jokingly wrote one tweet a while ago and he basically said that if Halsin doesn't manage to fuck anyone he will just carve a hole in a tree instead and stick his dick in it. :O =))

I can see why he’s a meme character. I’ll be honest, it doesn’t really bother me, as I’m all for some insane comic relief so I’m not taking it too seriously. But him just standing in the middle of camp and just hitting on me does feel cringe, ngl.

Also, this pic is just hilarious. Good Lord. :))))))))))

There's another party banter between them and she says to Astarion he would've fallen in her web had he been in Menzoberranzan, that she would've gotten her way with him. He's like "I can't tell if you are joking. She's joking…right?" And yeah men are basically treated likes slaves. It's a matriarchal society. They are mostly used for sex (which is why Minthara says to Astarion he would've been as a pleasure servant) or for breeding.

Nere had so much potential it's crazy. He could've even been a companion, at least in evil playthroughs.

Yes!! I have to say, his voice actor was so good. He was only on screen for a few minutes but he did make an impression on me. Exploring him renouncing Lolth for the Absolute, also in relation with Minthara, adding in Astarion’s own prejudices and fears about drow society, would have been such a juicy playthrough. Imagine the dialogue options! I’d have been watching with popcorn.

Speaking of gnomes, I wonder how those who are romancing Astarion with one of them are managing to do it without getting angry.

You’d think so, no? My friend suggested they play as a gnome because they want to humiliate him lol.  

He actually has a different face in his sex scene when he is with a gnome vs a tall race (humans, elves, etc.): he looks indifferent, grossed out even and can't fake a smile. Here: https://imgur.com/a/SyXcWdv it's quite amazing they thought of this (not my screenshots, by the way)

Wait, is the first one a gnome? I can see he has a different expression, but she looks like a drow to me?

But, yeah, seeing him barely hide the disgust from his face would be crazy to sit through. :))

That's mostly all there is to his fandom's "he is autistic" diagnosis which is very far-fetched since many people who aren't on the spectrum can and do have specific hyperfixations or special interests, and tend to ramble didactically like you said. So yeah I don't see it either and I doubt his writer intended for him to be neurodivergent at any point. There would've been more hints in his writing had it been the case, similarly to how Helaena was written in HOTD…

Agree. A lot of people are self-absorbed and think they’re the smartest person in the room, too. You have to account for that, as well. It’s just such a tall glass of copium to excuse any possible character flaw with “but he’s autistic!”.

although given what they did to her character in season 2 where they turned her into a walking spoiler who's apparently now helping Daemon, the one who got her son killed, I don't even know what to think about her anymore. Or Alicent, I get so angry thinking about the character assassination she received in S2 and at this point I bet she'll be the one who will poison and kill Aegon in the last season. For Rhaenyra. Or whatever.

Ooooffff, I’m with you on that. The BG3 writing so far has been miles above, at least.

"!!!! I thought he was going to die on the road if I didn’t give him money?? 😭 You can’t trust no man!!! ☠️" Trust no man should be this game's motto, frankly. Sorry, but the guy is a jerk. I can't wait for you to meet him again in act 3 because he WILL make you even more angry.

I did hear he is a massive arsehole, but my reasoning was to keep him alive, reaching his destination, so that I could get another quest later on. Oh well. :)))))))))))

Wyll is the victim of being rewritten late into development. He was way bitchier and different in Early Access, this whole he's a good guy stuff was an act to some extent, but the players back then complained and sent negative feedback over him so he got rewritten by Larian in response to that. You'd think the son of Baldur's Gate duke (in EA he wasn't the duke's son though) would have more content given how important he is (he can become the next duke in one of his endings) but it's very clear they didn't know what to do with is character after his rewrite. It's a pity and many fans are accusing Larian of racism over it. I don't think that's true, but it's startling how the only black origin companion has the least amount of content especially compared to Astarion.

I did watch some Early Access scenes with Wyll out of curiosity and, yeah, he seems more of a goblin-hater with a good guy front. The thing is, I don’t mislike his current personality, I think he’s really rather sweet and I don’t even mind him being a properly >>good<<-aligned character. He just doesn’t seem to have any conflict going on. The Karlach thing was so easy to resolve, it was just a misunderstanding and, as soon as it was cleared up, he was ride or die for her. Which I didn’t really mind either, but it feels like there is no moral dilemma to weigh now. He regrets the Mizora deal, wants out, has no beef with his father (who apparently banished him?), is very accommodating with everyone, even with potentially-nefarious companions like Astarion or religious extremist Shadowheart. It’s SO easy to get high approval with him, you just have to literally talk to him and not be a jerk and he’s your bff. I really only brought him out for the Burning Inn and the fight with the Duergar on the beach because, like I said, I don’t particularly enjoy playing warlock and I’m still sitting very high on his approval scale.

It’s not difficult to get high approval with Shadowheart either if you have patience with her and hear her out, but she feels more present in my camp, idk. She has her own goals, clashes with Lae’zel, is tricky to navigate with her Shar-worship etc. Wyll does seem to have some funny quips in him, I’ll give him that.

I watched some of his romance scenes out of curiosity and they were very sweet, too, but the man will only have sex with you if you agree to marry him? That’s a little extreme, like they leaned way too much into this gentlemanly thing, maybe in an attempt to not cause any offence or give anyone a reason to dislike him. That’s why I don’t think it’s racism either, but rather that they tried their best to make him as inoffensive as possible. The result is pleasant but ultimately uninteresting, though.

His writer did say in one interview he wrote him as pansexual from the very beginning, so yeah, you are right. Moreover, Larian always had pansexual companions and characters and there's no indication they wanted to assign other sexualities to the BG3 companions. People are being stupid, nothing more. They do this with other companions as well. There are lots of Minthara fans who get angry if you ship her with a male companion and romance her with a male Tav because she's allegedly lesbian coded. Some say the same thing about Karlach who by the way, if you sleep with Astarion at the party she says she would ride him to the Feywilds and back if given the chance.

IDK if it’s a bug or if I’m doing something wrong, but I didn’t get these comments after I slept with him. None of my companions commented at all on my brave and stunning decision to romance the peevish bloodsucker.

Even Shadowheart got the "she's actually a lesbian" treatment. Which is extra funny given the fact that she's very much into Halsin and even dreamed of having sex with him (eeeeh, this part has a long story behind it but I'll just say that some of her incel male fans got so, so angry over this to the point where they sent death threats to their writer - she and Halsin were written by the same guy - for allegedly having Shadowheart and Halsin cuck their Tavs). Gale and Wyll are also considered straight by some in the fandom even if they have no problem getting with a male Tav.

If these people put their thinking caps on, they would realise that, for logistics reasons, it’s way easier to make all characters pansexual so that they could romance any Tav. They’re not the only ones playing and giving their money to Larian. Bigoted incels complaining that a male companion hit on their male Tav are so ridiculous, I do not have time for them. A few months ago in a random conversation, I heard some girl at my work saying her bf tried playing this game but that it was “too gay” for him and I just… what a small little man. I don’t respect these people.

"Yeah, I have done my fair share of complaining (hello lucemond and Rhaenyra’s daughter LOL), but, like in all things, I have always been of the opinion that moderation is key here." Gods, the Lucemond thing…thank you for reminding me of that horrible, horrible ship. I still remember some of the smutty fan art with Luke's actor face on it. He was a minor during filming, FFS. >.<

I do agree with the rest of your message. It's fine to complain about things you don't like and it's healthy to do so! We shouldn't have to censor our thoughts and opinions, but if hate posting is all you're focusing on then yes, we have a bigger problem...

"Speaking of goofy HotD tropes, I was browsing the Astarion/Tav tag on AO3 and, of course, I found Tavs named Rhaenyra and Visenya, if you can believe it. I noped out so quick. 😂" I did see a Visenya as well!!! Probably the same fic, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are more. Honestly, I can't even get into most Astarion/Tav fics. Most are basically a rewrite of the game's romance which is boring. You'll end up reading the same thing all over again. There's also the fact that most authors don't even care about Astarion's characterization and twist it all the time, but that's always been going on in fan fiction (see how the team black girlies wrote Aemond in their Rhaenyra's daughter fics). Again, a lot of them are young and going out of my way just to bitch about what they're doing wouldn't be a mature thing on my part. They write for themselves, not for me. I just ignore what they write and move on...

Yeah, at the end of the day, RPG-ing is kind of like writing a self-insert fic, if you think about it. And, like with any other fandom, I have to contend myself with the fact that I will just not like the majority of fics and that there are only a handful I vibe with. Maybe not even fully, I will like some elements of it and some not. But everyone is writing for themselves and if I wanted an experience 100% catered to me I should just write my own lol. So, yes, a lot of Astarion/Tav fics are really very silly, with a few sprinkled in written in prose of a higher quality. Nothing revolutionary here, but the Rhaenyra / Visenya tavs did take me out. :))

Speaking of which, imagine an Aemond/Astarion fic or Astarian as a Targaryen for your brainrot. 😂 Astarion with Alicent as his Mummy.

Frankly, the same people complaining over the Veilguard being woke did the very same thing about BG3 one year ago. They complained about the game being woke for letting you choose your pronouns and allowing you to be trans (like they do with this one for letting you have surgery scars). Or for having the male characters trying to hook up with you because how dare they not know their self-insert Tav is a heterosexual male. I'm not kidding but some of these people even killed Astarion over this for example. They staked him when he tried to bit their Tav. Why? Well, he looks, acts and sounds gay and tried to fuck me. Sure, he's fictional, feel free to play the game as you want to but if this is your reaction when you meet a supposedly gay character…well.

Yikes. I know the gaming community is trash, so this shouldn’t be a surprise but I can’t stand this kind of thing.

Related to wokeness and BG3, I guess you probably know about this mod that removes all LGBT content from the game. I'll put the link to their forum (obviously you won't ever see this shit on the official mod manager or on Nexus Mods): https://rpghq.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1122-no-alphabets-5-2-0-1-baldur-s-gate-3

There is one lesbian couple and they turned one of the women into a male. Fucking insane lmao. Two minor trans characters got the same treatment because how dare you have a trans person in a medieval setting. Sebastian, a guy Astarion had to seduce and bring back to Cazador got turned into a girl…I'm wondering, what is even the point here? Astarion had no choice in this matter.

Of course they also turned black people into white people and every minor gay NPCs (like some of the gnomes in the Grymforge) straight.

They also have mods turning Wyll white...no comment: https://rpghq.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1461-wylls-of-toril-2-0-baldur-s-gate-3

I didn’t know about the anti-gay mods (yikes), but I did hear about the white Wyll one and it shocked me for real. Just so incredibly shitty on a human level and for what? What pathetic, fragile little egos. I have no words.

Or check this Dignify mod out: https://rpghq.org/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1580-dignify-3-1-0-baldur-s-gate-3

"Restores dignity to noblewoman in the game Separate mod for Gale & Astarion to have them wear normal leather pants." =)))) The give Gale and Astarion normal leather pants took me out for real. These guys have probably stared at Astarion's ass and dick more than the Astarionwives themselves if they really had to create a mod to replace his pants to something less slutty.

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

 I was just about to ask what’s even slutty about Astarion’s pants, but then I saw that they meant the bulge and the fact that they are too tight, omg. Astarion is a Millennial man confirmed. :)))))))))))))))))))))) Skinny trousers king!

But GALE? What’s slutty about Gale’s clothes??

There's apparently an user on that forum with an Astarion avatar who is also a fan of his character and from what I've seen he (??? I think it's a guy) gets accused of being gay for liking the vampire. Of course.

What the hell is this forum?? “Wokeless Wrath”??? “List of woke and non-woke role playing games”?? Oh, I just saw the T-slur. Ah.

Now back to the Dragon Age Veilguard. I did see a lot of footage from the game and frankly, yes, they are lecturing the player way too much. That one non-binary character could've been treated better. What's the point of having other characters doing squats as a way to apologize for misgendering them? Just have them say they are sorry for doing it. Also, what the fuck is this codex entry? It reads like a Tumblr post and not something you'd find in a supposedly mature game: https://x.com/laureanojgv/status/1853463155944431730 Yes, it really is in the game. Like, I have no problems with having non-binary characters but this is not the way to write and implement them. They went overboard with this and unintentionally gave a lot of ammunition to all the incels and culture warriors on the right.

“Meeting Shadow Dragons to Talk Gender Stuff?” “Writing notes to work through gender crap”? Who talks like that in-game? :))) Is this suppose to be some character’s diary or…? I don’t understand the utility. You’re right that it sounds like a tumblr post written by a 13-year-old.

However, other than that the game and the gameplay itself seem fine. Considering many DA fans are also BG3 fans, I did see a lot of criticism from them over the writing. I just can't say how legitimate it is since I haven't played the games.

You are also apparently right, you can only play a good guy in the game...

I heard people say it’s repetitive, boring and unlike previous DA games, that’s all I can say about it. Whether it’s true or not, I can’t tell because I haven’t played any and I don’t really think I’d enjoy live combat either (even though I understand you can pause throughout).

The companions seem a bit boring and annoying…Except one who did catch my eye from the very beginning and had already started to cause discourse in the fandom from the moment he got announced as a companion back in the summer: Emmrich. He's a necromancer (who is afraid of death...) in his early 50s which made some weirdo fans say stuff like you are creepy if you intend to create a younger character to romance him. Funnily enough, it turned out that his romance was actually pretty much written with an age gap in mind. I've now seen people say it is predatory for him to be fine with a younger partner and all the stuff you hear about age gaps, like the power imbalance (which doesn't exist in the game) and so on. You even have the option to tell him he's your first partner, so you can imagine how much this added to the discourse lmao. Like, how dare the game let you play a virgin. Creepy! I did see the scene where this happens and he is like :O :O :O and says we'll take it slow and is glad to be chosen. Nothing about it is portrayed negatively whatsoever. Now, you can technically make your Rook (the Tav equivalent) older in the character creator but the game won't take it into your consideration. The rest of the companions will apparently comment on your age difference no matter what, as will Emmrich if you decide to pursue him further. Criticizing this is valid, don't get me wrong, I don't think those who want to play an old character should automatically be pushed into an age gap relationship with him but to remove it entirely like some people want? No. Just don't have all the stuff about the age gap trigger if you play an older character. It's not that hard to fix it and make people on both sides happy.

He also has a bad ending and although it isn't evil at all (he is a goody two-shoes guy overall), it's apparently not the good one for him. Similarly to Astarion's ascension, you've got people saying "it is his good ending because he wants to do it"…

Oh, so of course there are people criticising the game for not being woke enough, what did I expect? :))

I have to say, I did see a scene with the character you’re talking about and he seemed fine mostly, but the scene itself was so goofy and cringe and at the kindergarden-level of “let’s resolve our differences peacefully”. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmDKGq_UV-4 I cannot stand the character of Tash, though. Just incredibly obnoxious from the material I’ve seen. The scene where they throw a tantrum because their mother asked them to chop vegetables (even though they are the one who brought a guest over for dinner without announcing her) is just insane. Is that supposed to make disgruntled, misunderstood teenagers root for them or what? :))

Another stupid discourse relating to this guy is...okay, this surprised me. It's so, so stupid but it appears that some fans are being weird and wonder how he can still get it up? Geez, he's not 90 years old man, what the hell...All I'm going to say to these people is: y'all can have Astarion suck your blood and drain you dry, I don't care. Meanwhile I'll be getting my hands on Emmrich and I swear he'll get it up in no time, despite his age. ;) If he can't it up for you perhaps it's a skill issue on your part, darling. (not kidding, it looks like he also uses "darling" as a pet name a lot, just like Astarion does)

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Astarion himself is an “old” man, lol!!! Even in his mortal life, he died at 39, no? But there’s no age gap discourse surrounding HIM, at least not what I’ve seen.

There is another companion called Lucanis who actually was dubbed to be the Astarion 2.0 when people first saw him. He's got the Latino/Spanish/Italian vibe and accent and many, many assumed he was going to have a spicy romance and be this daddy dom who will ravish their Rooks. Turns out he's far from being that. He's no virgin I think but is inexperienced when it comes to relationships and kinda awkward which prompted some of the girlies to complain about it…clearly they were genuinely expecting more lmao. It's their fault though, they essentially assumed all of this based on his appearance and got duped. Now it's really hard for them to project their kinks onto his character and pretend he is some daddy dom like they do with Astarion. Although, I maintain that to some extent the lack of experience when it comes to (romantic) relationships DOES very much apply to the Astarion as well, even if many fans ignore this aspect in favor of portraying their Tav/Astarion ship as the best and healthiest thing ever. The only difference being is that Astarion knows and can do everything sexually speaking since he was forced to learn and do it all unlike this other guy.

I mean……… Expecting THIS game to offer the player a daddy dom romance option is so goofy, especially when the age gap option is apparently controversial enough. >)))))) Is this the guy who’s obsessed with coffee? I can’t imagine being horny enough for a bodice-romance and deluding yourself into thinking you’d get one with the coffee man. 😭

Yeah, agree with the Astarion parts.

Now, if I do end up buying this game I'll definitely romance Emmrich. I do love fictional age gaps of all kinds, so the fact that I get the option to ropleplay one is a bonus for me. I'm kinda salty now this wasn't a thing in BG3, but perhaps it's for the best because can you imagine the discourse you would've gotten over having the possibility to roleplay an age gap with Astarion? LOL.

But…. I mean. Isn’t there already an age gap, though? He’s 239 years old! So, if you play as a human, which I’d think would be a popular choice, you just got yourself a huge age differential right from the start, not to mention the problem of reconciling differing life spans (which you already pointed out in a previous message).

Anyway. It will take me a while to get to play the Veilguard because I do want to start with the other DA games in order (I've already bought them months ago)...I did see that a lot of Astarionwives who are DA fans are romancing Emmrich (and so are many Galewives) so it's better for me to play that game later. I want to avoid seeing their shitty takes in yet another fandom for as long as possible.

It could be a valid strategy if you don’t mind absorbing spoilers via cultural osmosis, that is.

"Daddy’s “home” - what home?? He doesn’t have a house. ☠️ He’s jobless." I just saw the video. Lol. Cringe. But so are our Tavs? For hooking up and romancing a guy with no house and job, I mean...What do you call the opposite of a girlboss? Girlfailure?

Girl, fr 😭😭😭😭😭 You ate and left no crumbs with this one 😂😂😂

Imagine what Mirta’s noble dad would say when she brings the unemployed undead popinjay back home……….. if he’s anything like Otto Hightower, he WILL pop a vein. (“but, dad, he’s hot!!!!”)

She’s definitely forcing him to go through law school again and take back his old job :)))))) his ass is NOT staying at home

Hey it's not so late to change course and romance Gale instead. He has a home, is rich and I'm sure he'll have no problems getting a job.

If only I could stand to hear him open his mouth 😭…………….  Maybe I could have chosen future Duke Wyll if they made him a tad more exciting

This got way to long yet again. Again, no problems if you don't feel like responding!!

A pleasure talking to you, as always!

bg3 anon, you know the drill :)) Part 1 here, Part 2 when I'll get the chance (this got very long, as usual) :))

Anonymous asked:

I haven't done a lot of stuff in the game myself with my Dark Urge bard lately as real life got in the way…

I hear you. I haven’t progressed myself much lately, but the game isn’t going anywhere and, in any case, it’s good to take a break once in a while and do other stuff.

As of last night, I am at the Creche and managed to get Lae’zel out of the zaith'isk. I have to admit I save scummed to get past the guards and to be able to deface Vlaakith’s portrait (because it’s too funny an opportunity to pass on), as the checks were quite difficult and I wanted to keep my 1 inspiration roll for the zaith'isk. Then I allowed her to get in the chair and I got hit with an insane 30 Persuasion check. Fr. Of course I failed the first check, but I rolled again with my sole inspiration point and, to my shock, I got a perfect 20 and with my other bonuses it was enough to hit 30. Phew.

I searched online after my first try because the checks were really difficult to pass and I was sort of underwhelmed to find out that most people chose to get inside the machine themselves, as the checks become easier this way. But for RPG reasons, I really insisted on it being Lae’zel, because she really wanted to and it’s something Mirta would not impose on. But the debuffs she receives if you don’t get her out of the machine are so cruel, I couldn’t go on knowing I’d lobotomized my poor girl. She’s my ride or die – if my companions were in a burning building, I’d save HER. MY CHILD.

Anyway, she was extremely pissed by the whole experience, which, while understandable, was also kind of funny, I have to admit. :)) One thing I would have added, though, is that it would have been nice to have some dialogue with Astarion telling you he’s not exactly keen to remove his parasite before he deals with Cazador, which I don’t think would be an unreasonable take. This ties in with how he’s apparently so eager to consume more worms, yet doesn’t do anything if you don’t actually give them to him, just mewls like an angry cat.

Also, courtesy of the wives subreddit, I’m thinking about installing this mod perhaps? https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlyFangsbg3/comments/1gtc8fp/the_greatest_mod_that_everyone_should_know_about/?share_id=pxnAo20qclKeI4rNG3M2_&utm_content=1&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=5 It would be fun to have companions react more to their surroundings, especially since I am not going to do playthroughs with every origin character as my Tav. I have the feeling that some of their interactions just don’t show up for me. IDK if it’s a bug or whatnot.

but I've dealt with pretty much everything in act 1 except all of the Underdark and the Rosymorn monastery. As you may have guessed…I sided with the goblins this time and massacred the grove. It was really horrific, especially seeing all those children's corpses. :(

My goodness, anon, you went all out! One of my friends also said that some of the stuff she did as Dark Urge keeps her up at night. :))

I also defeated Ethel in one attempt with Astarion, Lae'zel and Shadowheart (I took her offer and gained +1 CHA, now I'm at 20 CHA) and immediately after I dealt with her Lae'zel was so impressed my fighting skills that she confessed she wanted to fuck me as soon as possible…I said yes. She dominated by bard throughout the act and left in him pain afterwards. You do have the option to dominate her instead if you wish, but you'll need to pass an intimidation check in order to do so.

This game is unhinged, wow. :))))

By the way, Astarion has unique dialogue after you sleep with her where he tells you "I heard you did the deed…" and asks you how was it. I told him to fuck off and he disapproved! (I doubt he spied on us, but due to the tadpoles it's pretty much implied everyone knows what the others may be up to…including having sexy times). There was also a very funny bug a while ago in Early Access that's been fixed: if you slept with Astarion and offer him your neck, you used to get a "Shadowheart disapproves" message. =)) Here's a meme about it: https://imgur.com/a/qyOKUM3 Oh and he also offered to sleep with me the day after I was with Lae'zel. Nope. Not this time!!!!

Cockblocked!!!!!

Since I told you about Astarion sleeping with Lae'zel at the party if you don't romance either one of them, well, there are some Astarionwives out there who have recently confessed they choose to sleep with him in act 1 even in playthroughs where they end up romancing someone else (they'll choose to friendzone Astarion later on) because they want to protect him from...Lae'zel being rough and hurting him during sex. These people I swear...I absolutely hate it when innocent female characters are catching strays because of insane male character fangirls. This debacle is even funnier when you know he also sleeps with Tav under false pretenses and doesn't really enjoy it (except the bite if you let it happen), so acting like Lae'zel is some sexual predator to poor Astarion is crazy. If she is, then so are your Tavs. Sorry.

Gosh, I did actually hear about this, courtesy to me discovering that wives subreddit. It popped up one day on my Reddit page because I had been looking for mods. Yeah, that’s a peculiar sort of rationalization because of the crazy discourse that accepting to have sex with him is equal to Tav raping him or however the hell they elect to woobify him. Despite the fact that he is the one who initiates and is doing it under false pretences, like you said.

So I guess some of them are trying to twist it in a sort of “it’s better if it’s Tav instead of Lae’zel because Tav would be gentler with him”. Even though, like any Tav, in-story Lae’zel would absolutely not be aware of his backstory to that extent. I get that it’s kind of iffy to think about – where I do agree a little with them is that Lae’zel is quite bad at sensitivity and handling feelings and I saw that she has dialogue about sleeping with Astarion where she says that “he served his use”. I get why people would be uncomfortable with her talking about an SA victim like that; it’s objectifying and a little mean. BUT!! Like with Tav, this was Astarion’s decision and, as bad for his psyche as it is, it’s still something he has agency over. No one is forcing him in this scenario. And it’s not on Lae’zel to read his mind or have responsibility over his healing journey. I would imagine him going through with this for the same reason he decides to seduce Tav – because Lae’zel is powerful and he craves security.*

Although, I would argue that Lae’zel is not truly leadership material. She couldn’t really succeed in gelling a group of divergent individuals together as she lacks the persuasion skills and emotional adaptability. But, in the absence of Tav, I guess Astarion is shooting his shot the best way he can, lol. Come to think of it, I don’t believe any of the origin companions would have the people skills to coagulate this group around them, if they were interacting naturalistically according to their own personality (not played as someone’s Tav).

* And, also, it’s disregarding how Lae’zel would feel about this whole interaction, too. Maybe she also would only want to have sex with people who desire her, think she’s hot and match her energy in bed, instead of pretending and going through the motions – she is allowed to feel that way even if it’s just casual sex!

Back to our business: Gandrel got killed this time. RIP. I really wanted his crossbow but to be fair I haven't used it so far.

Oh, you can’t pick up his crossbow from his dead body?

I’ve been thinking about the Gandrel side-quest and I can’t decide if it’s a storyline that’s a little not-completely-thought-through or if it’s meant to be this way. But I understand Gandrel came looking for Astarion because he and his spawn siblings took some Gur children to give to Cazador (details are a bit iffy as I’m only reading diagonally to not spoil myself TOO much. I’m really bad at this LOL). But this begs the question – why not go after the other spawn who are still in the city of Baldur’s Gate and prowl the streets at night? Why go to the middle of nowhere to ask a hag about a missing spawn? Seems needlessly complicated. Also, why not go after Cazador himself? He is the actual perpetrator here, as vampire spawn are forced to obey his will. You’ll understand why I’m wary of accusing an already marginalized community of being arseholes – a community who have already been victimised by Astarion in the past and who are still a target of his racism. But I have to ask if it’s intentional or if it’s just a storyline that wasn’t completely developed – and they just needed to engineer some scenario for the player to show their trust in Astarion. I obviously can’t fault people for wanting revenge over their missing children but it does seem a bit misplaced.

Anyway, way to overthink this whole thing. :))

Who else did I kill? Karlach. I still feel bad about it but she along with Wyll will leave the party no matter what if you raid the grove so I figured it's better to let Wyll kill her…simply because you also get a pretty good robe for spellcasters (Infernal Robe) from Mizora as a reward, which I put on Gale.

Damn… poor Karlach! She is truly such a sweet soul.

The evil playthrough sucks a bit because you lose a few companions and potential content. Even Gale will attempt to leave and if you don't pass a check he will go, feeling very guilty over having to participate in the carnage. Halsin obviously won't join you if you massacre his grove and if you don't kill him in the goblin prison he will attack your camp. At least you used to exclusively get Minthara if you played evil but since they "officially" made her recruitable in good playthroughs…you even lose that. It's obvious they didn't focus on balancing the good vs evil playthroughs by offering an equal amount of content. In a way it's understandable because most players will play the hero and investing a lot of resources just for a small number of players isn't worth it, but it still feels lacking and takes a way from the game's potential of replayability.

Yeah… But there is probably a limit for how much content a mid-level (?) company like Larian could introduce in a game, sadly. And definitely fewer people would be interested in a true evil playthrough.

I'll also have to decide soon but currently I'm very positive on romancing Lae'zel, surprisingly. I started this playthrough thinking I'd end up with Shadowheart but frankly, her romance doesn't seem so so impressive from what I've seen. I also thought about Minthara but I don't feel like she has any chemistry with my bard which is unfortunate since I want to romance her sooo bad. Well, since I do intend an Astarion Origin playthrough after this one, perhaps I'll romance her then. It may be a crackship but honestly I don't think Astarion is truly compatible with any other companion either and I also don't want to do a celibate playthrough so anyone will do in his case.

I know what you mean, I think Astarion would be kind of lost without a sympathetic Tav, since none of the other origin characters’ given personalities would vibe that much with him, especially not in a romantic way. Minthara would be an interesting choice though, for anyone interested in exploring Astarion’s bratty sub side. :)))

Perhaps I could get persuaded on Ascended Astarion/God Gale for the toxicity...could you imagine it?

Good Lord, I’m gagging just thinking about it. :))))))))))))))))))) It would definitely be funny, I’ll give you that, but without outside intervention (as in, you’re playing one of them as your Tav) to string them along, I don’t think they’d ever realistically get close in that sense. Doesn’t Astarion make fun of Gale the most out of any companion? I heard he has a lot of jibes to throw out in casual conversation. But, you know, when has any of that ever stopped players? Where there’s a will, there’s a way. :))))))

Relating to your playthrough and current progress: make sure you save Githyanki egg in the Githyianki Creche. You may want give it to Lae'zel! Just keep it in her inventory and don't worry about it for the rest of the game. Also, don't forget about the Blood of Lathander for Shadowheart. It's truly one of the best weapons in the game. The Knife of the Undermountain King is also a must have for Astarion, there's a merchant in the creche selling it.

Oh, yeah, I gave Esther the owlbear egg and refused this quest. The githyanki are arseholes, but stealing a child and displacing it from its own culture and people seemed needlessly cruel. I am still looking for the Blood of Lathander. Haven’t found the knife or the egg yet, but I’ve only just got there.

I also suggest taking the elevator in the Grymforge when you finish exploring all of the Underdark and the Rosymorn monastery to then progress to act 2/Shadow-Cursed Lands. You can go back there, no worries. It makes a bit more sense to follow that path (I think that's what Halsin suggests as well) in good playthroughs since it places you closer to the Last Light Inn, a location you'll want to get to before going to Moonrise Towers. But it's also fine to choose the alternate path.

Hmmmm…… thank you for the tip, I hadn’t considered this! I do want to go to that inn very much. But I thought I could reach it on the top-side, too? Or is it only accessible via the Underdark? I don’t want to skip the shadow-cursed lands either, they’re intriguing. They kind of remind me of the Shadow Fold from Shadow and Bone.

Oh no, not the "you should side with Rhaenyra because she's a woman and women are never wrong". And if you don't you'll get accused of misogyny even if you are a woman yourself because why else would you disagree? Yeah, I think you explained it much better. Not all of them would make the same choices if given the opportunity in real life. It's more like a wish fulfillment type of thing where they imagine themselves doing it or fantasizing about it, and maybe genuinely think they would do so, only to change their mind once confronted with the actual choice in real life…I do guess some would probably accept being with a real life equivalent of Astarion because unfortunately many people end up with bad partners thinking their love can fix them (men included, I don't want to claim it's only women doing it), but for sure others will realize how such a thing wouldn't necessarily result in anything good. Thinking you can fix someone is a dangerous mindset to have in real life.

Yeah, definitely agree. Some do end up with bad partners like this, unfortunately. You can never truly tell when you encounter anonymous users discoursing online, but it’s definitely a mix between wish-fulfilment people and people with true blind spots when it comes to red flags.

Honestly, the game does lean a bit into the "I can fix him" trope with Astarion in his good path, which unsurprisingly is not acknowledged very much by his fandom. Most fangirls (not the Ascendedwives this time) are like "He fixes himself! We only helped him and showed him the good way." Well, yes, but the fact that you need to push him up until the last moment in the right direction doesn't suggest that he is fully capable of making the best decision for himself. If you need to convince him that sacrificing 7000 souls to the hells is bad…well, then I rest my case. I'd actually wager that in an alternative timeline and if left to his own devices, Astarion would most end up ascending.

Indeed, this is very much an “I can fix him” type of story, no doubt about that. And, while I never would recommend this to anyone asking for advice in a romantic capacity in real life, credit where credit is due, it’s a fun storyline for a game, what can I say. I have to emphasize the acute need to separate real life from the medium of gaming here in a different capacity, as well, because what works in real life doesn’t necessarily translate to game mechanics in the best way. For example, it makes sense that your Tav would have tremendous influence on their companions and that you could shape their story to a huge degree. Here you have to sacrifice the characters’ agency in favour of a more entertaining gaming experience. Like, no one would enjoy playing if their companions did the same thing no matter what choices you make, you know what I mean? So here I can see why it kind of HAS to be an “I can fix them” story, otherwise it would be a frustrating playthrough.

This is where analysing the companions as real people or even as characters in a book or movie kind of breaks down because you have to account for the medium. An RPG is always going to sacrifice on their free will in the player’s favour to make it for fun for them. Tav is the one who gets to play God a little and direct their story. This wouldn’t translate the same if these people were actually real, because, even though you can talk some sense into those around you and help them make a decision, they’re still beings endowed with reason who have responsibility for their own actions. And, needless to say, real life functions way differently and you have different objectives and desires for yourself and your social circle. To be honest, it's terribly goofy that there are voices in this fandom that don't perceive these elements naturally and behave as if their vampire bf has a growth arc predicated independently by his own moral compass. (like that anon you sent me who referred to Astarion as their "partner" lol)

That being said, I do agree that the game suggests that Astarion would be the kind of person whose hand you’d have to hold because they’d be incapable of making the right choice on their own. And that can be very infuriating to think about!

Sure, the same can be said about the other companions. Without Tav's influence they will all end up in a bad place, but at least in their case you can generally trust them a bit more to make the good decision, unlike Astarion. If you have a high approval number with Shadowheart and showed understanding towards her person, when you reach a certain pivotal moment in her quest you'll have the option to trust her and depending on your previous interactions with her she will almost always choose to do the good thing (you can also choose to do the persuasion check if you don't have faith in her). Same for Lae'zel, you don't really need to push her very hard in the right direction. It's largely the same for Gale, although as I pointed out previously it's easy to fuck his result up as he can end up ascending to godhood if you don't push against his stupid ideas really hard.

Yeah, with all the caveats I described previously, there are little ways to suggest that some companions make good decisions on their own a little easier and without needing to be swayed so much. It’s not a perfect system because the medium doesn’t allow for it but these things are still data points.

I know I'm being facetious a bit because I do hate it when fans don't acknowledge the not so pleasant aspects of Astarion's character even when he stays on his good path, and choose to flex against the Ascendedwives for choosing the good and moral option, but he still doesn't transform into a good person overnight. And who's to say the matter of ascension won't come in in future arguments with Tav? If you break up with him in the epilogue he gets angry and yells "how dare you, after everything I sacrificed for you" (hinting at sacrificing the ascension for you)…unlike AA who doesn't let you break up with him he catches himself accepts it of course. Yes, it's an overreaction because he got hurt but the scene does show up the matter of ascension is still on his mind, in a "what could've been" sort of way. It's a worse case scenario for sure, personally I doubt he will come to resent Tav for convincing him not to ascend. I do like the fact they didn't turn him in a totally good guy though. He is still a bad person who still kills people (just the ones he deems to be bad). Whether the fans accept it or not, he's still the same person who just weeks ago was fully capable of sacrificing 7000 people for his own benefits. He's not suddenly fixed by Tav's magical genitalia.

Oh, absolutely! A person with his backstory would have a long journey ahead of themselves when it comes to overcoming their unscrupulous impulses in any case. I do like that he’s not fully evil or fully good either, I always think it’s a more interesting story this way. Him just being one way or the other would feel reductive, if you ask me. I don't think I would enjoy it as much if someone with authority on the subject (the gods of reading comprehension 😂) confirmed to me that Astarion is 100% evil, just as much as I wouldn't enjoy it if they told me he was just a poor little misunderstood meow meow.

I also like thinking that one is not entrenched in their past mistakes, that one’s choices matter and that being “good” is an active choice you have to make against your baser nature. It’s a more attractive scenario to me than needless cynicism.

I agree and I also did the same thing and told him he could have as many tadpoles as he wanted to. But yes, you do actually need to consume the tadpoles on his behalf because on his own he won't do it even if you give him the permission to do so in dialogue. This goes for any other companion who accepts it. Gale does, I think? The others need convincing. Minthara you'll find out when you recruit her that she had already eaten several tadpoles once you access her illithid menu and you can feed others to her if you want more powers. Halsin and Jaheira are the only potential companions in your party who don't have a tadpole.

There is a consequence though. I'll keep it as spoiler free as possible: at the start of act you'll be given a special tadpole that will supposedly grant you special abilities if consumed. If you've eaten the regular ones, you won't be able to refuse the special one unless you pass a Wisdom check. You can also convince your companions to eat that special tadpole. Funny thing is, Astarion will refuse to do it this time, for good reasons though…but you can still force him to do it if you want to be an evil bastard.

I do have to point out that a significant part of the whole Mindflayer plot got rewritten (and partly replaced) quite late during development and this is why the whole thing feels very lacking and there are no really massive, unavoidable consequences for eating tadpoles. I can't say exactly which part because it's a massive spoiler, but remnants of it can still be seen in the art book that comes with the game.

It does feel like this part of the game could have benefited from more work, but, alas, nothing is perfect, I suppose. And it’s a massive game as is. So headcanons are the way to go here!

"Anyway, this is also just a game at the end of the day and its complexity is limited in that it can mimic real life, but not truly represent its quagmires, because character development is not linear for living, breathing people. […]" I'd argue there are some specific cases in this game in which they should've and could have done a better job to mimic the real life equivalent, I do largely agree that in such setting it's very hard to showcase all the complexities a similar real life scenario entails, but the fact that AA lashes out whenever Tav goes against him is in my opinion definitely meant to be a red flag, that he's now too far gone. If the writers intended to achieve the opposite result, that he's a loving and healthy partner well, then they failed to make the case.

Yeah, can’t disagree here, the wives choosing the appeasement option is just sweeping the problem under the rug. Like with any of the other companions, I imagine, there is a good ending and a bad one, and pretending Astarion’s bad ending is good is just… who is this helping? :))))

Your instinct is right, we don't find anything about his parents or anyone from his former life. We don't even know for sure if he was born in Baldur's Gate or in another place and traveled to the Gate for whatever reason. I think it's possible he had a distant relationship with his parents (it looks like he also comes from a noble family, as in Early Access his background was Noble some point), but I still imagine his loss must have been quite significant considering elves in DND aren't very fertile and elven couples having a child is rare. There is also a limited number of elven souls that reincarnate all over again and vampirism/undeath apparently disrupts that cycle so Astarion will likely not be able to reincarnate when he dies… Speaking of gods, you'll want to have Astarion and Gale in your party when you reach the lower city in act 3. They have a party banter together, a very sad one, where Gale asks Astarion if he ever prayed or felt the call of the divine and Astarion replies that he tried and prayed to all gods to save him but none of them answered… :(

I'll try to keep it spoiler free but on his good path (and if romanced) you'll be able to go with him to the graveyard where he was buried in. His gravestone is unkept, with vines covering it. If there was anyone who cared about him still around in the city (his elven parents, perhaps siblings or even a former elven lover), I imagine they would've visited the cemetery from time to time and leave some flowers or tend to his grave? But there's no suggestion of it happening. They either moved on centuries ago, thinking his soul went on to reincarnate or…they didn't even care for him. Or maybe he was an orphan and forged his way into being a noble and getting that magistrate job (it's a fun theory). It's also possible, like I said, that his family is from another place and it's the city officials who buried him given his position as a magistrate. I imagine they wouldn't leave a public servant to rot on the streets. Needless to say, Astarion himself says he person he was lays dead and buried. He doesn't seem to dwell on his former life anymore.

I also suspect he might have been of noble stock because he talks like one for sure and his fashion sense indicates the same thing. I harp on him a lot, but I do get sorry thinking about his sappy backstory! Clutches right at my heartstrings, damn. :))

Also, fun fact, but Astarion was supposed to be a tiefling initially and not a high elf. https://www.ign.com/articles/astarion-was-a-tiefling-in-an-early-version-of-baldurs-gate-3-gdc-panel-reveals Honestly? He could've been a human instead and nothing would've changed as there aren't really any interactions in the game that feeds into the idea that he thinks like a high elf, except maybe the elitism and racism towards other races and people (like the Gurs and gnomes) but even that isn't exclusive to his race. There are also several subgroups of high elves (moon elves, sun elves, star elves - the fandom consensus is that he's a moon elf) all of them with several differences between them. And you also have the wood elves who are culturally and socially different than their high elven counterparts…It would've been fun if the game offered more lore about it but it's already massive.

You’re right about him being an elf not really having that much to do with his story. Like, perhaps it could have been integrated in the discussion about his parents, his lifespan, maybe the way he would interact with other types of elves, like wood elves or drows. He could have had different prejudices and reactions to Halsin or Nere, for example, IDK. He’s already racist, but, like you said, he could have been a human racist, too, you don’t have to be an elf for that. He does very much look like what I imagine a moon elf would look like, though. I find it kind of funny that, for some reason, humans are not a race he’s particularly prejudiced against, just on principle I mean – except the Gur obviously. You’d think a racist elf would have beef with humans, too. But, when discussing his diet, you can get him to ask you what you’d consider a “thinking creature” and he enumerates elves and humans as fitting the bill, but not goblins or gnomes lmao.

Speaking of which!! Another criticism I’d have of the game – goblins don’t particularly seem to be “redeemable”, at least not so far. And some of the goblins I encountered in the camp were kind of funny. I thought the children throwing stones at Halsin were kind of cute, too – I felt bad about killing them. I’d have liked to take them back to my own camp. Look at me – I sound like the Society of Brilliance with the githyanki egg. :)))

Exactly!!! When he comes clean about it he will also, in true Astarion fashion, unintentionally mock Tav by saying "seducing you was easy haha" and you can't even call him out on it if you do want to continue the relationship with him. Can you really be surprised that some people got the ick here? He may have not promised anything other than casual sex but let's be real, how would you feel if this happened to you in real life? Imagine having sex with someone and later on that person will confess to you that they did it under false pretenses…it's an enormous breach of trust that it's very, very hard to forgive. That's not to say Astarion doesn't feel guilty about it! He very much does and is aware of what he did and clearly doesn't expect to be forgiven by Tav, but let's not sweep all of this under the rug because of his trauma. Trauma doesn't give him an excuse to do anything he wants.

The whole romance largely starts under false pretenses with him not even enjoying any of the sex he is offering because he is dissociating throughout the act and just goes with the motions. I don't know if you explored the dialogue the morning after your Tav had sex with him for the first time (when you see his back and the scars), but you can ask him "Did you enjoy it? You did not seem fully present" but he brushes it off saying he just didn't want to go too far. Clearly something else was going on. So yes, some players legitimately don't feel the vibe anymore.

I have to say, though, this is one of the scenarios the game puts you in that I find really interesting because it’s so, so messy and kind of realistic, if you ask me, or at least approximating reality in a believable fashion. I keep thinking about this and it IS tricky to navigate or even formulate a coherent reaction to it because it’s A LOT.

I think the game should have included an option to call him out on, what essentially is, him insulting you with the “you were so easy to seduce” thing, because it’s infuriating, hurtful and, boy!! I slept with you DESPITE your janky ass pick-up lines, not because of them. But, at the same time, it’s this traumatised person baring their soul to you in a very vulnerable state and wanting to right their past wrongs, so to speak, so there’s a little part of me that thinks – do I really want to make this moment about me? Then again, he did put Tav in a very uncomfortable position: just thinking that, unbeknownst to them, their sex partner was an unwilling participant would make any sane person feel extremely icky and taken advantage of. And Astarion should start taking responsibility for his own actions if he wants to live as his own person. So, yeah, if this happened to me in real life, I’d nope out so quick, NGL. It’s very easy to activate all of someone’s insecurities regarding their body and sense of attractiveness that way, not to mention the horrible feeling that you’ve been tricked into doing something immoral (even though it’s obviously not a rational thought).

But, as always, in RPG format I’m way more lenient because, from the comfort of my own computer screen, I can blithely choose the toxic option that provides the most amount of angst, so looks like Mirta and Astarion are set for some rocky screaming matches ahead. <333333

 I won't lie, others (including some antis) also went as far as saying he should not be a romanceable option due to all of this because you are essentially raping him (LMAO), which is insane because Tav isn't supposed to have all this knowledge, but the point is that I've seen plenty of people getting dragged by some crazy Astarion stans when all they did was to politely express why they didn't like it anymore. It doesn't mean they hate survivors and don't trust them to make their own decision just because they don't want to roleplay this specific scenario due to how it started under false pretenses or agree that Astarion shouldn't be in a relationship at that point in time, even more so in a world where therapy doesn't exist.

Also, not vibing anymore with a romance is valid no matter what the issues it. There are people who ended up not liking Gale's romance anymore because of him constantly talking about his ex (Mystra). It put people off the entire thing. Players self-insert a lot into their characters and many of them don't want to date someone who's still hung up on their ex, to the point where it feels like they are still together and you are the third in their relationship. I don't fully agree with their perspective, but it's easy to see where they are coming from! At least the Galewives don't attack other fans as much as the Astarionwives do.

Very well said!

Most fans identify with him over the fact that he's also SA victim, especially women, and this is the main aspect which in my opinion, has been causing a big part of the discourse because a lot of fans (both ascended and unascended ones), as pointed out previously, weaponize their trauma survival status against other fans who dare to have a different opinion. It all gets very nasty because you'll constantly be shamed and get all the "as a survivor of SA I feel offended/dehumanized" and "you hate/infantilize all survivors for saying this" type of replies, making it it's quite hard to have a mature debate, free of personal attacks. Quite a few of these people have moved on from this fandom currently so you won't get dragged as badly for saying something unpopular but it still happens to some extent. Sure, some people did say nasty and infantilizing stuff about survivors but in my experience most were genuinely polite about everything, quite a few of them were survivors themselves and still got a lot of shit and harassment.

Oh, of course, the sexual assault aspect of his character is also something that could cause people to project onto him and create this intense bridge of empathy and protectiveness. But, like with his vampirism, it doesn’t give him a free pass to do whatever the hell he wants or thinks is best for him and you just have to “accept him for the way he is”. Like in the manipulative sex instance, I completely get why he would do that with his headspace, I empathise and feel sorry for him, but it’s still a very shady thing to do to Tav.

As for the ableism: indeed and this is where the "wanting to cure him equals ableism" people come from. Granted, while curing vampirism isn't an easy task at all in their universe, it's not impossible and equating this with real life disabilities and mental health issues is far-fetched. Just because you want him cured of vampirism doesn't mean your Tav doesn't accept him as he is if he wants to stay this way just like it doesn't mean that you don't accept real persons who are disabled just the way they are. Also, telling someone "You don't need a cure to your ailment, I love the way you are!" is a bit tone-deaf IF such a cure exists because what if that someone does want it?

Now, whether or not Astarion himself would accept to cure his vampirism and return to mortality is another question entirely and frankly, the jury is out on this question. The game focuses more on him (and his partner, if romanced) seeking a way to able to walk in the sun, although you are given the option at the post epilogue party to say to a companion that you are looking for a cure his vampirism. It's really just up to everyone to headcanon what they want to do with him post-game, which is why attacking people over it is crazy.

Absolutely! Curing him of his vampirism is honestly a harmless headcanon, if you ask me, and you’d be performing a public service as well because one fewer vampire walking the earth is a boost to all the communities who wouldn’t have to risk exposure to them.

No one in their right mind in Faerun would agree to be his constant blood donor except for Tav (in the case you roleplay them as someone willing to be his blood bag) and a certain drow lady in act 2 who'll immediately recognize the fact that Astarion is a vampire and will ask you to force him to bite her since he'll refuse. She confesses that she's been dreaming of being bitten by a vampire since she was a little girl…lol. I know I'm being mean but a lot of Astarionwives remind me of her, I'm not gonna lie! While yes, good vampires do and can exist, the general populace views all of them as evil, soulless monsters and killing one of them is acceptable and no one would be second-guessing your decision. Good aligned gods also view undeath as an affront since it violates the natural cycle of life and death, so a paladin or cleric of Lathander is fully within their rights of killing Astarion and any other vampire or undead, no matter how innocent they may be.

All I'm saying is there still are plenty of risks for Astarion in the event he stays a vampire and if certain people become aware of his true nature. So, unless a potential cure to his vampirism comes with risks he will refuse to take, I don't think it would be as OOC for him to agree to such a thing like some fans claim.

I'm personally ambivalent towards this, perhaps I lean towards him staying as a vampire in my headcanon for the angst? I do like how on his good path he learns to make peace with and accept himself, vampirism included. Perhaps this is why some hate it when they see the matter of him getting cured coming up, they perceive this as telling him "you're still not good enough like this", that you can't accept him just the way he is...it's a fair perspective, I guess but I still don't agree entirely with it.

Even with good!vampires who solely restrict themselves to an animal diet, you know there is always the possibility of relapse, because thinking-creature-blood is so much more delicious. And, if you’re living nearby one, as good a person as they strive to be, you’d be aware there is always a risk and that’s just a really unpleasant way to live, with Damocles’ sword dangling over your head and whatnot. So, like you pointed out, could Astarion really realise his dream of security this way? Now, I’m not saying his vampire-acceptance ending is terrible, by any means, though, it’s rather sweet – or more like bittersweet actually – but definitely not something to fight others about and bring ableism accusations into the mix. And I do like they leave the option for curing vampirism open – it was certainly placed there for headcanons and to leave open the possibility of a more hopeful future. In short, it's truly not that serious! Just another interesting thing to think about.

Whew, that got really long. 😊) I’ll post part two of the ask when I get the chance!

[thatgirl4815]

“No legacy is so rich as honesty”

I’m not sure if this has been mentioned/analyzed anywhere else (if it has, I’d love to read it!), but I just realized that Pete’s tattoo is a quote from William Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well. As someone with quite a bit of experience with literary and rhetorical analysis, this is a bit embarrassing for me...not so embarrassing that I’m going to refrain from making a post about it, though, because why not?  I also happen to have a lot of free time at the moment, so might as well figure out my own thoughts on this subject. 

“No legacy is so rich as honesty.”

When I first saw this line, I took it at its most basic: one’s reputation is not more important than leading a life of honesty and integrity. We all know this quote isn’t about Pete. He clearly believes it, but it’s more about bringing this notion to Vegas. Before I move onto Vegas, I want to talk a little bit more about Pete specifically.

Pete has expressed not once, but twice now, his beliefs on humanity’s morality and immorality. He’s in the mafia, so it’s tempting to say that his morals are incredibly loose--and I agree. I haven’t read the novel, but I know some people have said that Pete had a tattoo in it as well, all because of Tankhun. We have no confirmation of this in the show, but regardless, I think Pete chose the contents of the tattoo himself. This is important for several reasons. 

Legacy, Freedom, & Honesty

We don’t have any real proof of this, but I think Pete likes to keep himself grounded--that’s why he chose this tattoo. I believe Pete has made peace with the things he must do for his job, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t contend with a question of ethics on a regular basis. Pete is honest in his acceptance of both the good and the evil inside of him. Honesty goes in two directions: being honest to others and being honest to yourself. Only when you are honest to yourself can you lead a fulfilling life. 

“Only the fool thinks that honesty is real.”

Vegas says this at the beginning of Ep11, but by the end, he’s already had an awakening. Pete is slowly (or quickly, depending on how you look at it) teaching Vegas to be honest both with and to himself. 

Now, how does the concept of “legacy” tie into this? Legacy broadly refers to a person’s impact and reputation. In the context of the mafia, this is extremely applicable. Everything is about legacy. We’ve seen Kinn try to put his family’s legacy over the truth of his feelings for Porsche. It’s similar for Vegas, with an added ✨ flair✨ of parental abuse and a distinct lack of romance. 

Until. Pete. I’ve said before that both Porsche and Pete represent similar themes of freedom for their partners. But I think freedom and honesty go hand in hand. In many ways, freedom is honesty and honesty is freedom. I won’t get into the deep philosophical and moral arguments associated with this, but it’s all very compelling.

All’s Well That Ends Well

Now for the main event. I personally haven’t read this play, but here are a few summative points:

It’s a comedy about a young ward, Helena, and her dedication to winning the heart of the countess’s son, Bertram. Spoiler alert: they end up in love. Happy endings for everyone (see: the title).

There are some elements of cynical realism, though I couldn’t define all of these in detail.

Lying plays a role in the plot. Helena even fakes her own death. 

My first takeaway from this is how terribly ironic it is. For Pete, the ending doesn’t look so great. We, of course, know that Pete will escape his immediate situation, but will he really get a happy ending? (Rhetorical question. No book spoilers, please & thanks.)

The next takeaway is the romance aspect of the plot between Helena and Bertram. Helena’s objective is getting Bertram to fall in love with her. Pete’s objective seems to be the opposite, as he’d rather put as much distance between himself and Vegas as possible. But without him even trying to, he’s gained Vegas’s affection. Love is the story between Helena and Bertram, but I don’t think it’s the same for Vegas and Pete (more like an added bonus). VP’s plot is about the difference between legacy and honesty, between Kan and Pete, between what is expected of you and what you truly feel and want for yourself. They might grow to love each other in whatever twisted way they can, but there’s a personal level to their attachment that focuses on the “self” rather than the “pair.” 

To conclude, all of these themes are like dozens of small threads interwoven into a beautiful tapestry that is this television show. And the preview already proves that Pete is affecting Vegas on a deep level. But I swear, if it’s just another one of Vegas’s manipulations, I will have some words for BOC...

[altairs-little-world]

May I request a poly scenario with Mika and Leo in an arcade date with a reader with social anxiety ?

Thinking first at Leo trying to show off by getting a plushie for Mika and the reader, failing then Mika manages to win for all 3 of them instead

Mika x Leo x Socially Anxious!Reader - Arcade Date

Characters: Mika Kagehira, Leo Tsukinaga 

Genres: Fluff

Smaller “tags”: Polyamory relationship, GN!reader, Socially Anxious!reader, Arcade date, Claw machines, Purin Plushie, lots of little bracket thoughts this time wow, Leo is bad at claw machines

TW: None

Word Count: 1513

A/N: Leo… Silly orange (affectionate & derogatory). Mika… Silly little silly. Fanged babies, they are! This became so long for some reason I think I need help learning how to write shorter scenarios- Purin plushie bc there’s Sanrio happening in ENGstars rn (Mayoi I beg you please come home already)! I’m not sure how one experiences social anxiety, sorry for any inaccuracies! orz

ALSO! 107 FOLLOWERS!! Why are there so many of you- Uhuhu, hello there? Glad that y’all chose to stick around for my works, even though I update so slowly… /head in hands/ I’ll figure out a celebration event (maybe? I’ve seen a lot of them around) when I’m done with my requests (which might take a looong while oh dear). Thanks again for accompanying me on this journey through enstarblr!

MIKA KAGEHIRA, LEO TSUKINAGA ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

Somehow, your boyfriends had managed to bring you out to this loud, bright, and near overwhelming arcade, located along Saison Avenue. It did take a lot of convincing and reassurance from the two (coincidentally) fanged males to take you out on a date together - they had been busy recently, and you missed them as much as they missed you, making you more accepting of whatever plans they had as long as it meant spending time together. 

Currently, you and Mika were watching Leo try his luck at the claw machine, proclaiming that he’d surely win that Purin plush for you two. It was bigger than the surrounding prizes, being the most valuable prize in the machine, which was why the boy had been so quick to spot it and run over, leaving the other to usher you over, doing his best to hide you from potential stares from everyone else. (Or at least, you were trying your best to hide behind his figure.)

The ginger wasn’t having much luck though. This was, what, his 14th try? And he hadn’t come close to winning the prize. 

“Ya think he needs help?” Mika whispers to you, his voice a soothing tune amidst the din of the arcade, shoulder touching yours when he shifts closer. Your pinkies were linked, a small act of comfort to keep you calm in this place. Thank goodness most of the people seemed to have their eyes glued to whatever game they were playing; if not, they were watching on as others played, just as you and Mika were doing.

“I think… Yes?” 

Leo growls under his breath just as you reply, face nearly pressing against the glass of the machine as if he could will the toy to stay in the grip of the claw with the sheer force of his green-eyed glare. 

Yet, again, the heavy toy fell out of the claw’s grip before it could barely be lifted.

“I don’t believe it! This is rigged- Rigged, I say!” 

“Move ah’side, let me try.” Mika sighs and nudges the yowling male away, making sure to pass your hand into his hold before bending down to pop in more tokens. Leo huffs again in defeat and takes your hand, moving behind you to rest his chin on your shoulder and wrap his arms loosely around your waist as he sulks, thumb absentmindedly stroking your hand.

The colourful lights of the machine were reflected in the gleam of your other boyfriend’s mismatched pupils when he looks up, gaze flickering from the claw to the adorable soft toy as he fiddles with the lever. You had to admit, your heart skipped a beat for a moment there. It was rare to see the usually smiley Mika look so focused and sharp offstage, and for a game, no less. 

Bang!! 

The sudden sound of Mika slamming the machine’s button makes you and Leo flinch, a small “Eep!” escaping your mouth. Leo’s arms tighten around you as he grips your hand momentarily, similarly shocked by the noise. Three pairs of eyes were fixed on the descending claw, all three of you holding your breaths in anticipation. 

Thin metal fingers closed in on the toy, wrapping snugly around it - but you never know, it could just be a facade, a devious ploy by the machine to play at your heartstrings - then slowly but surely lifted the Purin plush up. 

Don’t fall, don’t fall, don’t fall. You could practically hear Leo silently chanting beside your ear, his words following the shared rhythm of your quickening heartbeats. The claw edged ever so closer to the prize hole, taking just about an eternity to move that short distance. Just a little more…! 

“You did it-!” Several heads turned, startled by the cries and cheers that surrounded your little trio as Mika raised the plush above his head, a near-perfect imitation of that scene in Lion King. Oh. The initial excitement fading away, you shrunk back into Leo with a nervous smile and your head hanging low, uncomfortable with how many gazes were on you and your boyfriends. Tens? Hundreds? Thousands, even? Far too many, that was all you knew. What were the thoughts behind those stares? Did they think your group was being too rowdy? Did you look stupid like this, getting overexcited over something so small? 

Mika hastily steps towards you, his lovely visage and the pale yellow toy filling your vision. Leo stops hanging himself off your back, standing tall (as tall as he could, he wasn’t very tall) behind you. Between the two of them, it felt like you’d been brought into a smaller, more intimate world, without the prying dangers of whatever lay outside this bubble of relative peace. Only they could see you, and that was all you ever wanted. 

The younger male takes your other hand in his, wrapping it around the side of the plush and squeezing it lightly. “Here ya go. See, it’s ours now.” 

Even with your eyes currently having a staredown with the dotted eyes of the toy, you could hear the reassuring smile in his voice, slowing the race in your mind. 

Meanwhile, the older had intertwined your fingers in his, albeit in a slightly awkward way, palm resting on his as his thumb ran over your pinky. “Aww, I wanted to be the one to get it for you two!” Leo grumbles lightheartedly, his carefree tone contrasting with his soothing action - but it calmed you all the same, their ensuing conversation drowning out the noises of the outside world. 

“–ome?” 

You blink at the previously bantering boys, seeing their attention on you. “...Eh- Um?” Having sort of blanked out for the last minute or so, you had not caught a single coherent word from them, only fragments.

“Do ya wanna go home?” Mika, thankfully, asks again, sparing you the embarrassment of admitting that you hadn’t been listening. “

“I don’t mind. There’s nowhere for my genius inspirations to flow out here without getting in trouble - not that I care, or glasses would’ve been able to stop me when I was in school, ahaha!” 

“Ya gotta stop drawing all ova’ the apartment too! Poor us gotta keep cleaning up afta’ you every time!” 

“...Yes.” 

The bickering stops, almost abruptly, Leo’s half-open mouth just about to throw back a retort before you spoke. 

“Yes ta’… Going home?” 

“Mmm.” To both, really, but you didn’t have it in yourself to say more if it’d only spark another debate that would keep you in this cramped shop longer.

“Let’s get out of here then! Haha, time to show off my driving skills again!” Leo gloats, being the only one with a driver’s license between you three. He juggles your hand into his other hand so you two would be able to walk normally while still linked by your hands, leading the way out of the all-too-crowded arcade.

Mika shakes his head, passing the plush into your hands when he sees that you weren’t letting go of it anytime soon. You delightedly wrap your arm around it, bringing it to your chest, and the raven-haired male resigns to follow by your side without any way to hold you. “It’s the one thing ya’re good at, other than makin’ huge messes, at least.”

“Huh? What messes? Those are works of art! An artist like yourself should be able to recognize such fine pieces when you see one!” 

“Drawing on the walls is still a big no, though.” Feeling bolder now that you had all stepped out into the emptier streets, you untangle your hand from its place in Leo’s hand to tug at the troublemaker’s cheek, reprimanding him. Mika lets out a sound of affirmation next to you, agreeing with your words. 

“Gyahh! Fine, fine! Stop that!” He wails in your hold, pulling your fingers off his face and making sure to hold it tightly so you wouldn’t attempt that again. The usually proud male looked comically pitiful at that moment, eliciting a suppressed laugh from you. 

Both males so obviously perk up at your sound, faces lighting up with relief and joy under the dim streetlights, as if you were their sun. That was relatively close to the truth, yet oh so far from it. 

If one had to describe it, it was more like three fireflies circling one another- each emitting light that they themselves couldn’t see, each attracted to the light of another. There was no designated giver or receiver of that light, just as how there wasn’t one of you three singled out to care for or to be coddled by the other two all the time. Sure, your throuple occasionally took turns doing this, but more often than not, the affection was simply shared between the three of you. A perfect little world of love, it was. 

(That didn’t mean you disliked how they especially made sure you felt safe outside, though!)

“No helping out next time, Mika! I want to get one myself!” 

“Ya just try not ta’ break the machine outta’ frustration while ya’re at it.” 

[desiredcaramellatte]

Can um have dark cacao cookie pure vanilla cookie and latte cookie x reader who is overprotective over sorbet shark cookie and choco chess cookie and ask them if they can adopt them please sorbet they have being alone in the ocean for years and choco chess are homeless I’m want them to be happy headcanons please

Hello, anon! I’m more than happy to write for my favorite little cookies! Choco Chess and Sorbet Shark really do deserve better.

Also, when it comes to cookies, I tend to stick to their in-game pronouns. If they aren’t said to have an in-game pronoun (like Choco Chess) then I’ll use they/them for them! Just wanted to clarify that in case some people were curious 💕!

Dark Cacao x Overprotective reader ft SS and CC

~| Dark Cacao is generally a good cookie, but there’s a lot of stuff he absolutely does not understand. Children is one of them. As seen with Dark Choco, Dark Cacao does not know how to give children proper affection, and though he may try after what happened to his previous son, he will still be horrible at it, mostly because of his lack in experience at being a ‘good’ father.

~| When you first introduced the three, Dark Cacao is quite confused, especially when you claim them to be your children. Did you just randomly find them? Probably. “Just don’t let them go touching and breaking things.” Dark Cacao would grumble as he accepted the fact that he would now have three tiny cookies running around.

~| And, guess what? The first thing Sorbet Shark does is break something. They tried to look through a window and forgot that glass existed, so they ended up shattering it.

~| “Told you this was a bad idea.” “Dark Cacao, shUT.”

~| Dark Cacao often gets annoyed by the children, with Sorbet Shark’s knack for getting in trouble and the Chess Choco Twins constantly asking for him to play chess with them (which he’s quite surprised when they beat him- he’s actually pretty good at chess). But, when Dark Cacao is off duty as a king, he does enjoy his time with the small children, even if you have to force him to spend bonding time with them.

~| If one of them called Dark Cacao their father or something similar, Dark Cacao would be done. Dead. Right there, right then, he wouldn’t be able to process it. It would most likely have to be the Chess Choco Twins since Sorbet Shark can’t really talk oop-. Dark Cacao is a tyrant. He doesn’t understand why you’re so protective of them and often tells you that you need to calm down, but when he gets attached to them, he is worse than you. He assigns the kiddos personal bodyguards when both he and you are busy, which they don’t mind (it gives Choco Chess someone to play chess with, and it gives Sorbet Shark someone to just play with if you’re not there to do so).

~| Dark Cacao got a journal and, in his free time, writes about what he saw the kiddos doing that day. ‘Today Sorbet Shark climbed up to the banister and got stuck. S/O was freaking out, but I was calm.’ Flashback to the event, where both S/O and Dark Cacao were panicking, trying to get a very happy Sorbet Shark down.

~| Dark Cacao could spend hours playing chess with Choco Chess Cookie, and finds their small shenanigans entertaining- especially how they are so connected each other. Sometimes, it makes him wish he had a twin to share his every thought and pain with, even without speaking. After he plays chess with the two, and 80% of the time looses, he always comes to you to tell you about their game. The first time Dark Cacao beat the twins they were both very salty about it, and he occasionally throws the game by making himself loose, if it seems like he’s on a streak.

~| It may take a while for him to get attached to the kiddos, but when he does, it’s complete game over. They have the cold king in the palm of their tiny little hands.

~| Bonus~ if Dark Choco were to ever come back and live with ya’ll, he would be like an older brother to all of them as soon as he saw, and this would improve Dark Cacao and Dark Choco’s relationship, as they have something to bond over- the children! As for you, you get to adopt another child. I bet you’re happy about that, aren’t you 🍿?

Pure Vanilla x Overprotective reader ft SS and CC

~| “Wonderful!”

~| When you approach Pure Vanilla and introduce the two as your new children, he’s just like ‘lol, alright.’

~| Very laid back when it comes to discipline, cannot do it to save his life. He’ll do anything to cheer them up if they get sad, or do something wrong. Chess Choco knows this and sometimes uses it to get their way. “What’s wrong, my darlings? Why do you look so down? Do you need anything?” “We’re hungry! We are hungry.” “Alright, only the finest for my little cookies!” Sorbet Shark also does this, but less consciously than Chess Choco. Pure Vanilla is more than happy to do all three of their biddings.

~| You cannot get Pure Vanilla off of them. He always seems to be either playing with them or doing something for them. Even when he’s on the throne, his mind often circles back to your children.

~| When they first called him their dad, he was over the moon with joy. He took all of you to a fancy restaurant and announced to the waiter that “Yes, my children, my love, and I are ready to order!”

~| One time the three were trying to reach some jellies on a high shelf. The Choco Chess Twins were on the bottom, holding Sorbet Shark up. Pure Vanilla found them doing so and was quite amused. He lifted Sorbet Shark up higher for them to grab the jellies, which they happily did, before putting them back down and whispering “Don’t tell [mom/dad/parent/S/O]!” That’s a common phrase for him.

~| Surprisingly protective. Not nearly as much as you, but he has to constantly have them in his sight when they’re around him, and he makes sure they’re never alone. Like Dark Cacao, bodyguards when neither of you can be around, but he calls them play mates!

~| He remembers everything they do, and I mean everything. Often he’ll just bring up little stories (sometimes exposing himself by telling you one of those ‘don’t tell [mom/dad/parent/S/O]’ moments oop-) to you when you’re alone.

~| When he can’t sleep, often he will go and check on the kids. Just a little peep into their room to make sure they’re alright, and he’s relaxed by their sleeping figures. Speaking of which, he always tells them a story every night, sometimes two or three if they asking him for it!

~| He gives the kids (and you!) a lot of gifts. A lot of flowers, oddities, trinkets, etc. Pure Vanilla always seems to know what to get them- once Chess Choco’s chess set broke, and he got them two chess sets! One made out of pure glass and the other made out of wood. You couldn’t pull them away from those chess boards for days. When Pure Vanilla has time, he loves to bury little trinkets and give Sorbet Shark a map to the buried treasure. He loves walking alongside the small cookie as they figure out where to go next.

~| If he receives a gift from them, he will literally m e l t, especially if it’s hand made (he loves that they put so much time and effort into something made especially for him!). His room is decorated with all the little gifts meant for him, he keeps every single one of them, and often smiles when he looks at them, as they remind him of you and the kids.

~| Takes you and the kiddos out on picnics to the gardens, when he has the chance! Loves to watch them chase butterflies or observe the flowers. He makes all of the food for these picnics by hand, and sometimes he lets you help out as well. Pure Vanilla makes bomb peanut butter jelly sandwiches, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

~| The most doting father you’ll ever know. He believes they can do no wrong. He comforts them when they’re sad, lifts them higher when they’re happy, and is just the type of cookie that the smaller ones will cling to.

~| These kids could probably get away with murder when Pure Vanilla is around, tbh.

Latte x Overprotective reader ft SS and CC

~| Best mom you’ll ever find.

~| At first, she’s a bit worried at where these three came from- do they have parents!? Is someone looking for them? After hearing Chess Choco’s story (and reading some very wobbly notes from Sorbet Shark), she instantly got attached. Three orphans, with no where to go!? Now, that can’t happen, not on her watch!

~| Latte has worked with kids her entire life, from when she was one to her job as a teacher! She knows how to be strict yet kind, and she uses her experience to her full advantage.

~| You’ll often find her teaching them little things- like how to tie knots, how to bake, etc- but sometimes she tries to teach them some magic. Pawn White and Pawn Black can now move chess pieces through telekinesis :).

~| Loves to take them for rides on her staff. When it’s just her and Sorbet Shark, she’ll often do little spins in the air, which Sorbet Shark absolutely adores.

~| She invites Creampuff and Madeleine over all the time for playdates! She loves watching all 5 cookies play games like hide and seek and truth or dare (she swears Madeleine is a bigger child than all 5 of them). Often times she has to be the referee, but, occasionally, Latte will join in on the games. If you’re ever around during these playdates as well, you’ll be literally dragged into their game.

~| When both of you are busy, she’ll often ask Eclair or to babysit (she doesn’t ask Espresso because she knows he’s always busy), which Eclair will 90% of the time accept. Usually they’ll go to the library, and Choco Chess will use the public chess board they have there, while Sorbet Shark flips through all the picture books and runs around the library like it’s a maze.

~| Checks up on them a lot. You know how mothers always seem to know where everything is? She’s a very good example of this. “Sorbet, where’s your telescope?” “Ooo…” “I think I saw it on top of the book shelf.” “OoOoO00!?!?”

~| Cue Sorbet Shark rushing off and returning with their telescope, indeed looking very happy. “OoOOooO00oO!!!”

~| Latte makes sure all of them are tucked into bed nice and properly, and will sing them lullabies to lull them to sleep. Occasionally, she’ll sing you a lullaby as well!

~| All-around a perfect mother for these kiddos- she has enough free time to just bond with them, and is the perfect mix of sweet and stern.

Hope these were to your liking <3! I, personally, enjoying writing them, I just couldn’t stop adding stuff to Pure Vanilla’s!! I mainly concentrated on their bonds with the children, but there’s still some x reader in there too.

Also, 2 posts in 1 day!?!? Yay!

[webbedphantom]

Shock it, I'm going to explain the Shadow event anyway.

So, the biggest hurdle I had with this was giving Aaron a shadow post-spider bite. Most of his powers come from his Persona, but Personas kinda replace shadows, and you can't really have both (unless you're a wild card, as I've seen in some fanfics, which Aaron is NOT), so what'd I do?

Well, the reason why so much of Aaron's Persona abilities are different is because his awakening was unnatural. He didn't fully accept his shadow, but was awakened anyway due to the spider bite and getting dosed with a crap ton of the Metaverse Serum within moments of each other. It gave him the powers instead of killing him, sure, but that unnatural awakening is why there's such a disconnect between him and Arsène. It's why they fight, and why Arsène is sort of his own thing.

So, I decided to play off that somewhat, and have an unnatural Shadow. A shadow based on a lie that he is forced to believe. But to explain that... I gotta talk about Mysterio.

Mysterio is unfortunately one of the characters I don't have the clearest idea on, at least when it comes to why he does what he does (in terms of my version of him in the AU). But I do know what he does.

This version of Mysterio has a very simple premise. He's Scarecrow, but instead of using fear toxin to make you see whatever you're most afraid of, he uses hallucinogens to make you see... anything really, using subtle suggestions to influence whatever it is you're seeing. He's a lot more of a psychological villain. Not much of a threat physically, but he can, and will, mess with your head.

So here's what happened in the event:

Aaron catches Mysterio breaking into a ShidoCorp lab, trying to steal some Metaverse tech to make his illusions more powerful. They fight, but then he gets hit with the stronger version of his hallucinogenic gas, making him far more susceptible to Mysterio's suggestions.

Mysterio then just tricks him into believing he got away. That he failed, and that all his friends must be so disappointed in having him for a leader.

And thanks to Aaron's own insecurities and anxieties, that last suggestion just broke him down. He's always believed he was unworthy, that every single one of his teammates would do a far better job with his powers than he ever could.

So he broke.

After that he wholeheartedly believed that his teammates actually hated him, saw him as pathetic, and were only pretending to like him so they could stab him in the back. A belief that is only cemented by the hallucinations, as he is now constantly haunted by visions of his friends just tearing him down, letting loose everything they "truly" thought about him. And the longer it went on, the harder it was to tell what was real, and what wasn't.

This caused him to become extremely reclusive, shutting himself into his room whenever he wasn't in costume, pushing everyone away, and just being extremely depressed.

But whenever he put on the suit, it was a different story.

Aaron's behavior has always changed slightly whenever wearing his costume, but now he's almost a completely different person.

Instead of being depressed over this "revelation" he's had, he's just ticked. Very, very ticked.

And he's taking that anger out on anyone he comes across, especially his friends. Lashing out at them for "betraying him." And this would eventually spread beyond the team, as everyone he was close to would start showing up in his hallucinations, all just to mock him.

Now, his mind is trying to fight this off. His memories of things conflict with his new perception of reality. But Mysterio's influence is eating away at that, corrupting his memories of his time spent with them to fall more in line with the "truth." And the longer he's like this, the more likely it is that these corruptions will be permanent.

There's more I could go into about his palace, and how his teammates could get through to him and get him back to his old self... But unfortunately, I never actually got to finish this event, due to some life stuff that came up, so I'd like to save that as a surprise, in case I decide to try it again over here.

Though it'll probably be a separate verse, rather than an event

Shadows

Since I've seen a few people posting shadow versions of their muses (though theirs are made in picrew) I thought I'd share this design I made for an event I did on Twitter back in January.

It's actually the original version of my pinned image. I just redrew it to be in his default costume.

I won't get into exactly how and why he had a shadow, as it's kinda complicated, but I do want to talk about the design since I had a TON of fun with this.

The logo on the chest is taken from the black suit in Spectacular Spider-Man, specifically it's final form.

The suit being purple is inspired by the way the symbiote looks in the ultimate comics. I did this because... well Aaron's suit is usually black, and I thought it looked cool.

The eyes are inspired by the way the old animated series drew Venom's eyes. I always really liked the way it looks. It's very menacing, and almost reptilian in a way.

You've probably noticed that I've taken a lot of inspiration from symbiotes. But this ISN'T a symbiote design (I have a completely separate look for that). I mostly just took inspiration from them since they're usually used to show a darker, more threatening side to Spider-Man

Also the yellow on the suit is inspired by shadow's typically having yellow eyes, though you probably guessed that already.

Anyways, that's about all I had to say. I just think he's neat.