#so it's on the easiest setting & i can't die

[xbittersweet-nostalgiax]

I have bumped into many guard rails (admittedly I was going a bit fast on a winding road) but I managed to make it to Oppy's garage in one piece and got the station wagon all fixed up & ready to hit the road again

The only problem is that now I don't want to leave lol

[feyclowns]

a look at magic and the core system

the core system explanation and my loose idea of what magic is. this uh. this got long. this is a longass post.

my thoughts on magic

i have this idea that mother nature, while creating her earlier lifeforms, used magic as a sort of bind-all, something modeled after the overarching powers of time and creation, etc- giving them extra powers and extending their life (like a kid making their first ocs). most of her older creatures are on planes higher up and function on magic. as she got better with her craft she began to appreciate the complexity of making all those bits and pieces stuff on earth has, and the faster ebb and flow of life AND death. humans are one of her favorite creations.

magic is inherently chaotic. it exists in multiple forms, on multiple planes. it's something that touches things in a biological way and yet obeys physical laws set before it. it can be stored and used up. it can create more of itself. it can corrupt things. when mother nature realized it was a bad idea to give near-unlimited power to beings when she was creating ones of lower ability on the planes below, she changed magic and the creatures that used it- gave them weaknesses, sometimes bordering on the ridiculous, compulsions too. things to keep them in check.

i also like to think you can't entirely 1:1 seelie to humans on even a biological cell-scale. they just fundamentally are different.

magic's function

the more pure magic is, the more powerful it is- magic comes in all colors of the rainbow, but different colors have slightly different attributes. one can never truly filter one color out of magic entirely, as it needs all its components to function.

with the True Fey nearly extinct, the only beings that can use raw magic without the assistance of a device or sigil are genies, and i'd argue they got quite the short end of the stick considering their compulsion.

fairies, fey and their subspecies primarily function on purple magic. this stuff is filtered, diluted, as "neutral" as one can get. if you create magic rather than consume it, and your species functions on filtered magic, you cannot handle it raw. like, your body can't handle the extra energy. physically.

magical backup is when a fairy has so much magic in their system they cannot filter the chaotic energy that magic produces and explode.

filtered magic is also, simply, on paper, easiest to use. as a third party, non-seelie magic user- use raw magic while unprepared and get evaporated while changing the laws of physics. use overfiltered magic without the correct sigils and nothing happens except maybe a bitter taste in your mouth.

onto the core system.

the core system

the neural core is where magic flows freely up towards- the filter strains clean, purple magic from the magic produced by the central core. conscious wishes are also made from the brain connected to the core here.

the central core is where magic is generated. the central core takes calories and nutrients from ingested food (fairies have a stomach that is right next to their core) and converts it into magic. the core membrane acts as a storage for filtered magic in both areas.

the core pools are located at the base of the wrists of a fairy, which are where excess magic flows and stays in anticipation of use. when a fairy exhausts the magic from their pools, they must wait until they begin to refill from the reserves in the core membranes.

the inner cores are the most important part of the system; if this part of a fairy is damaged they will die. this part also holds the data for the rest of the body- if worse comes to worse, the inner cores will maintain the body parts left and rebuild the core system before completing the rest of the body. this is in part why fairies are so gd resilient. no inner core, no regeneration.

magic threads are what magic travels along throughout the body. they are thick, wide tubes that extend through the torso and extremities. the central thread is also called a nervous thread. during pregnancy, the body creates a sixth thread (and sometimes seventh) to deliver magic to the developing child's core.

fairies produce raw magic in their central cores. they have two cores- a central and neural core, which are connected to each other through the nervous thread and extend to their magic pools and flow magic through the body by the four magic threads.

anti-fairies are where all that excess magic goes when fairies filter it out. anti fairies don't need to generate magic or filter it- they can handle it just fine. they have a simpler core layout- a thick core membrane to hold their magic and the excess chaotic magic swirling about in their inner core. this enables anti-fairies to grant powerful rule-free wishes. anti-fairies tend to have strange colored magic threads, generally aligning with the color of their counterparts' eyes.

pixies are quirky things. pixies have the same amount of cores as their fairy cousins but do not produce raw magic. they instead need to feed on magical creatures (or take their magic supplements, as provided by pixies INC) to keep their core systems afloat. another issue is that most pixies' core filters still work- which would be fine if they produced magic. pixies overfilter their magic, leading them to use a highly complicated wand (along with several binding contracts) to utilize the magic still delivered to their core pools. (it's also a phone. why not toss that in for free? Head Pixie was feeling really nice when he made that decision.)

pixies have a very large core filter and membrane in their neural core, with a small central core and large magic pools. their magic threads are thin.

[ask-a-vetblr]

Hi I’m starting a book set in Australia (I’m an Aussie!) and it’s about Rabies getting loose in Australia but going to be like a sci/fi and horror novel. I thought I’d ask actual vets if you knew what could happen if rabies got loose in Australia?

gettingvetted here.

Our founder and native Aussie, drferox, is on hiatus, so I will give this a go.

Unfortunately for your book, rabies is one of the easiest diseases to control and eradicate, especially on a small scale and especially if you know the animal of origin. Vaccinations literally have to be upwards of 95% effective (at least in the US) in order to become licensed for use, and the immunity derived from rabies vaccines is long lasting at 1-3 years at minimum; it probably lasts longer but official studies to license vaccines for that long have not been done due to expense. Likewise, the vaccines are usually inexpensive compared to other vaccines like Lyme, as you can vaccinate a cat or dog for 3 years for roughly $25 per vaccine. You typically have plenty of time (weeks to months) after a possible exposure to determine if the biting animal is rabid, and even if you never find that out, rabies vaccination will prevent rabies in an exposed individual as long as they themselves are not showing symptoms (aka, there's a handful of known rabies positive animals in the country and you/your dog just got bitten by a kangaroo? get vaccinated, you're going to be fine even if they can't find the kangaroo again). The symptoms are pretty obvious and pretty classic, making the animal easily identifiable even among its peers, and once the stage of being symptomatic has arrived and thus transmission is possible, the animal will die in a handful of days, thus self-limiting the spread. The only "treatment" is humane euthanasia and as wildlife are the usual reservoir of the virus, there isn't much of an uproar when a select few are euthanized for testing or prevention each year. An interesting factoid is that while the US still has rabies, we *only* have wildlife strains present (not canine rabies). So even if a dog gets rabies from another dog, they will still have acquired skunk, bat, or raccoon strains of rabies. This is due to years of regulating that cats, dogs, and ferrets (domesticated carnivores) be vaccinated for rabies and euthanized for biting if unvaccinated until the canine strain was eradicated. Canine rabies is still an issue in countries with lots of feral dogs.

As a vet in the US, it is a MAJOR headache to ship animals from rabies-endemic areas to non-rabies-endemic areas. Even Hawaii is extremely difficult to pull off. Not only do they have to be vaccinated early (usually within 6 months of travel), they also often have to have rabies titers performed within the same time frame or sometimes even closer to the travel date. An extended quarantine period (I seem to recall that it is 6 months in some cases?) is also required prior to entry for countries such as Australia so that even if the rabies vaccination and titers were incorrect or forged and the animal has rabies, they would still show symptoms prior to entry into the country. Also, while unrelated to rabies, Australia requires veterinarians (not animal owners) to personally administer very specific parasite prevention to animals at very specific intervals to prevent certain parasites from entering the country too, so the amount of prep work required for export itself is often long enough such that if the animal had rabies, you would find out before they left the country. The regulations also differ depending on country of origin - countries with less control over their rabies status are either banned from importing animals or face even stricter import regulations. If any of these steps are performed incorrectly or without pristine official evidence of doing so, the animal gets right back on the plane and goes back to its country of origin, or is held in official government quarantine at customs. So it would be quite difficult to get a rabid animal into the country. Humans are a different story of course, so that may be the best way to bring rabies into Australia in your story. However, humans getting rabies is extremely rare, and considering the excellent healthcare in AUS, a human would probably seek care and be diagnosed before they could become insane enough to start biting wildlife (again, the only real scenario I could think of that could feasibly bring rabies to AUS, because if a rabies positive human bit another human or even a dog, you simply vaccinate that human or dog for rabies and they will be fine).

So, let's assume that you got rabies into the country and a handful of wild animals of various species are exposed. We'll even assume that it was a dog that somehow brought it in despite all the red tape designed to make it impossible, and that dog is ownerless or escaped so there is nobody to tell officials what type or how many animals it bit before it died of its symptoms. It would probably take a significant amount of time for anyone to figure out what was going on. Vets who are educated in countries that have endemic rabies are taught that any animal with any neurologic symptoms should be treated as if they have rabies unless they recover. I.e., if a neurologic animal dies without a definitive diagnosis of some other neurologic disease (such as EPM, distemper, etc) and especially if that animal is unvaccinated for rabies, you MUST assume they had rabies and send them for postmortem testing so that any human or animal who was exposed to the potentially rabid animal can be vaccinated if necessary. However, vets who are educated in non-endemic countries are of course aware of the disease, but probably wouldn't have it on their radar for a neurologic animal. It would probably take a few wildlife or pet animal cases being sent for necropsy and testing after sudden neurologic death before rabies was diagnosed, which probably wouldn't happen until a few months to a year after the first case arrived in the country, at the earliest. Then a few things would happen.

First, the owners of the pet animals and the organizations dealing with wildlife would be extensively interviewed to determine location and possibly the species of animal that bit the now-dead-and-necropsied rabid animal. These areas would be surveyed extensively and unfortunately a lot of local wildlife mammals would probably be preventively eradicated especially if positive cases were found in a given species. Import/export of ANY animals from the country would be immediately halted and mandatory vaccination of all owned animals in the country would likely be established and enforced. Travel of humans likely wouldn't be stopped, but rabies vaccination would be added to the list of recommended vaccines for travel to AUS, similar to malaria vaccines in endemic countries. Again, the excellent and affordable healthcare system of AUS (at least compared to the US) would probably lead many or most Australians to be vaccinated for rabies prophylactially, which can cost thousands of dollars in the US and is usually not covered by health insurance. There would probably be a huge push for vaccination of wildlife with rabies vaccines dropped from aircraft, which could be done both within the area that suspected exposed or definitively positive animals have been found, as well as a radius around those areas as prevention. Vets would be mandated to report any neurologic or behaviorally abnormal animal even if rabies wasn't the suspected cause, and unfortunately would likely be forced to euthanize many animals that were not rabid. There is a chance that with these measures, rabies could be eradicated, but it wouldn't be certain, probably ever. Longer term, surveillance measures would be taken (and I don't mean surveillance like the FBI, I mean epidemiologic surveillance such as monitoring cases that pop up and physically checking on and sampling the typical populations of wildlife that carry the disease). Regardless, it would be extremely difficult to cause any kind of fatal epidemic using a standard rabies virus. Ounce of prevention/pound of cure and all that, but Australia currently chooses a pound of prevention.

Definitely an interesting concept for a book, but I would go with a carnivore parvovirus or canine distemper virus that mutates quickly enough that it can't be vaccinated for, and is transmissible from animals to humans. Parvovirus, specifically, is extremely hardy in the environment and is far more contagious than rabies. Without effective vaccines, I'm betting that either distemper or parvo would cause more death than the plague, especially among pediatrics. I'm not familiar with hendravirus given that we don't have it in the US, but to my knowledge that is also a horrific and contagious disease that is already present in AUS.

Hope this helps!

[jame7t]

do you know what to do with all these molted cicada nymph shells

Sure, they're not dead, but they still give off the same vibe to me. You know? The empty casings of a spent thing? Dust gathering in the recesses where something used to be? Sure, they're not dead, but they still set off my Necroentomophobia. Fear of dead bugs! Did you know that? Did you know people could be scared of dead bugs? Whatever. It's not the same as being scared of a bug, sure. But I can be scared of a lot of bugs. Sure, little things, like the humble lady bug- not scary. Butterflies, scant as they are, are only off-putting to me. The beautiful moth? Well, I love it, but I don't want to hurt it. It's whimsical, fat body makes me nervous. I don't want to squish it by accident! Because then it would be a dead bug.

And that's worse. It's like, not precisely a direct fear of a dead bug. It won't leap at me in a defiant rage, or be waiting for me around the scary corner. It's more like a shortcut to existential dread. It's a combination of 'ew!' and 'I am going to die one day' and more importantly, if a bug is dead, something has killed it. And you never know if that something is still lurking around. Just kidding. Do you know what a cicada shell is made of? That's right. It's the happy chitin! I don't have an issue with chitin. We're not chitinous beasts, but we have the enzymes to break them down. Humans, that is. This isn't a science fiction piece. This is my blog. I've always thought chitin was interesting though- it's a natural armor made for little guys ostensibly. Little guys in the sense, that it is for bugs only. Well, crabs have chitin, and they can get pretty big- The spider crab can grow over 300 feet in diameter. Just kidding, it can't do that. It's pretty big though. At this point, you'd think: 'Okay- crab reference, and a direct link to the enzymes to break down chitin. Do we eat them? Should we eat the Cicada shells?' Well, I'm not going to. That sounds kind of scary to me. Would you? Would you eat the shell of a thing? I can't imagine it tastes good. I'm eating potato chips right now. They're yummy, and crunchy, and in many ways- the opposite of the humble cicada's false corpse. A lying bug. A lying, cheating, swarming thing. A bug we don't like. A bug we have to deal with. Don't we have to deal with everything? Would it be easier to show less mercy to the little things? It wouldn't, and it would be mean. And that's worse. Anyway, to answer your question, you turn them into mulch, apparently. Or bury them in a hole. Through my research, those were the only two real options we have. There's also 'add them to compost.' So that's three, you have three options. Do you want my opinion? No? Moving on then. There's also a fourth option- a telling one, at that. A sort of 'secret option' lots of people choose. 'Let them decompose on your lawn.' Right? Right, the easy one? Might as well call it 'do nothing.' Doing nothing is always a choice, sure, but when you give me the choice to 'do nothing' in a game, or choose your own adventure, it always seems like a lazy choice on the developer's part. And sure, from your real life perspective, it's probably the easiest. But from a game design perspective? You have to account for the player sitting and watching. What happens if I don't intervene? What happens if I let it continue? Well, in the case of the empty cicada, they stink apparently. I've never noticed it, and we have cicadas here- but I've been lucky enough to never be out in or see a swarm. A predecessor of mine once recalled a story in which the swarm was so bad, you couldn't walk outside without crushing them on the sidewalks "Ew," is what I thought. Maybe they only smell if there's hundreds of them. Thousands? No, probably just hundreds. Not saying they wouldn't smell more if there were lots, I'm saying they probably start being noticeable at around a hundred. Nothing wrong with that. Not sure what the smell is, though. Do you? You should put them in a hole.

[grandlinedreams]

[heads up!: vague au setting, vampire!law, mentions of blood and blood drinking, cursing, there will be a part 2 to this]

He's hungry.

Normally that isn't a problem for Law, because he knows a work-around, tried and true ㅡ in the form of small white tablets that he drops into water, watches dissolve into watery red and downs without a second thought.

Far from the best tasting thing, but it works well enough to curb the burn in his gums, the insistent hunger that makes his eyes glow a vivid gold at the height of it.

But he doesn't have any tablets on him, hasn't made them in ages ㅡ because there'd been an issue with distribution of an ingredient he needs for them, and now he hasn't eaten in weeks.

He knows what Corazon will say, suggesting he find someone to feed off of ㅡ like it's the easiest thing in in the world. As if Law isn't a creature of myth, damned to the shadows and lurking at the corner of nightmares.

He's worked too hard to conceal himself and what he is to throw it away like that ㅡ no matter how tempting it truly is. He takes pride in the fact that it's gotten easier to explain away the pallor of his skin, the dark shadows beneath his eyes ㅡ he works the night shift at this clinic, and nobody asks. Nobody wants this shift, anyways.

The problem with not eating as of late, however, is the constant wear on his ever thinning restraint. The nastier of cases always seem to come in at night ㅡ consequences of drunken antics. Broken noses, shredded skin. The more severe are always cleaned up and shipped off to the hospital, because there's only so much they can do here. (There's also only so much he can take of the seemingly boundless stupidity that plagues this town's people, too.)

At least tonight has been slow ㅡ slow enough that he'd managed to convince his coworkers to leave with the promise of contacting them if he needs them. Now he has no company outside of the tinny strains of music and low hum of electricity, watching the dull glow of headlights thrown against the waiting room walls.

And then there's a set of headlights that slow to a crawl, blazing before they dim with the low purr of an engine stopping. Law sits up, listens for car doors opening (two. the driver side, and then the passenger) and shutting in tandem before looking up as the sliding doors give a hiss of pressurized air.

"Oh thank god." The speaker is a blonde man that reminds him a little of Corazon, unlit cigarette in his mouth wobbling as he speaks. "You can help, can't you?"

Depends, Law wants to say, but knows he needs to work on his bedside manner, because not everyone has the same flavor of humor that he does. So he nods instead. "I can certainly try. What seems to be the problem?"

Blonde man's visible blue eye flicks to his companion, and Law finally takes in how pale you are, the kitchen towel that's wrapped tightly around your forearm. Blonde man goes to unwrap it, and Law finally catches the sweet, delicious scent of blood.

"Wait." He says, tone sharper than he means to be as he backpedals, "Tell me what happened first." He definitely doesn't need you bleeding to death in the waiting room.

"It was an accident," you say, "and I think Sanji's being dramatic about it. I'll be fine." There's a haze to your eyes that makes Law think that Sanji is absolutely right in bringing you in, and that you're trying to downplay the severity of it ㅡ especially now that he can see the dark seep of blood into the kitchen towel.

He clenches his jaw, never more grateful for the mask that covers his mouth as he is now with the prominent burn of his gums and muted, answering growl of his stomach. He's so hungry and you've walked in like a goddamn buffet.

"I'll have to take a look at it and see if we need to call an ambulance to take you to the hospital," he says, and you blanch.

"Is that necessary?"

Sanji gives you a fierce look for him. "Do you want to die?"

"Still think you're being dramatic," you mumble, but it doesn't take a sharp eye to see that you're struggling to remain upright. Law reaches for the check-in sheet, placing it on a clipboard with a pen and pushes it to Sanji.

"I trust you can fill this out for them? I'll take them back and get an assessment done." He's on his feet and around the desk before you can blink, gripping your shoulders with surprising strength.

"Don't need your help."

He raises an eyebrow. "You want the wheelchair instead? I don't need to add head trauma to your chart if you pass out on me." That shuts you up, and he steers you through the double doors, watches you squint against the harsh lighting.

"Sit." He guides you to the examination bed, thin paper crinkling beneath you. Perching himself in the chair, he slides to a stop in front of you. "Let's take a look."

He's mindful as he peels the towel away, clicks his tongue in sympathy when you hiss as he pulls the towel away completely, pretending he doesn't want to pull his mask down and lick his gloved fingers clean of your blood.

He turns to grab a handful of gauze and the squeeze bottle of distilled water, ignores the watery red drip that puddles on the floor as he cleans your arm.

"How you haven't passed out is beyond me," he remarks as he examines the laceration, prodding carefully to see just how deep it goes. "But you're lucky."

You find it in yourself to scoff. "And how's that?"

"Still alive, aren't you?" Sharp gold eyes meet yours. "And you'll get to go home with just some stitches." With his hold on your arm, he can feel you stiffen.

"Stitches?" If possible, your face goes even paler. "I don't do stitches."

He raises an eyebrow. "Something like this won't just go away," he says, "and it'll take even longer to heal if left like this. Stitches areㅡ"

"No," you cut in. "No stitches."

Law's brow knits. Do you have some personal vendetta against stitches? True, they've never been a favorite of his either especially with how they itch while they heal. And if it's the application of them that you're worried about, he's good at them, hands steady and swift.

"I don't care what you do," you tell him, jaw set and eyes surprisingly clear now even for the blood loss, "but no stitches."

He hates the immediate solution that comes to mind. But it's two birds with one stone, even with the alarm bells going off in his head. It's a bad idea ㅡ a really bad idea. But he's so hungry, and you don't want stitches.

"I have another idea," he says slowly, still weighing his options, the mental flip of a coin. He's going to regret this if it goes sideways, but it's all he can think of at the moment. "But you need to trust me. And not tell anyone."

This time, it's you who raises an eyebrow, expression wary. "Okay? As long as it isn't stitches, I really don't care."

Law takes a deep breath, steeling himself before he tugs his mask down. He feels the descent of his fangs, the weight of them in his mouth as he tugs your arm closer.

"Remember what I said," he tells you as you watch him in growing confusion, "you can't tell anyone about this."

You don't scream, and part of him wonders if blood loss is finally taking its toll on you and you'll think that this is some kind of resulting delirium. Whatever you want to believe, so long as it keeps him out of trouble. The sink of his fangs into your skin makes you hiss, his grip tightening to keep you from flinching away as he waits for the numbing quality of his saliva to kick in. When you finally sigh and relax, he eases up.

And then he licks your wound. The glide of his tongue is slow and intentional, cleaning the beading of fresh blood from it and biting back a groan of satisfaction. Part of him notes now that the wound is too straight and precise to be a true accident, but he can't bring himself to pull away and demand a detailed answer because you taste so much better than those damn tablets.

The first swallow is rough, the tang of your blood on his tongue intoxicating ㅡ and then he takes another, and another.

Law knows he can't take too much from you, aware that you've already lost quite a bit but is still reluctant as he retracts his fangs. Another slow lick along the length of it finishes the job, and Law moves to clean residual blood before he wraps it in clean white bandage.

"There we go," he announces, watches the slow, sleepy blink of your eyes ㅡ and determines that even though it's still a gamble, you won't be telling anyone what you just witnessed. "Good as new."

"Thanks, doc." Your speech is slurred, and he wonders if he did take too much. But you're steadier than he expects when he helps you to your feet, letting him guide you back through the doors to where Sanji is waiting.

"All patched up," he reports, "just let us know if you notice anything out of the ordinary. Fever in the localized area or full body temperature, increased pain or if it starts weeping."

"Thanks," Sanji answers, handing him the clipboard in exchange for you, and Law watches the two of you leave, listening for the sound of car doors and the purr of the engine.

It's only once you're gone that what he's done fully hits him, guilt in the place of hunger. What was he thinking? Had he been thinking at all?

"How are you feeling?" Sanji's question makes you roll away from where you've been counting streetlamps, prompting you to sit up.

Clearly not. He hisses a low curse, reaching into his pocket for his phone. He needs to call Corazon, see if they need to run damage control.

ㅡ

"Like crap," you tell him flatly, "next time Zoro suggests something like this, how about he does it."

"You didn't have to cut so deep."

You pinch the bridge of your nose. "Hush," you say, and he waits for you to continue. "Intel was right, though. Definitely a vampire."

Sanji rolls down the window, exhaling a cloud of smoke from the cigarette he'd finally lit while waiting for you. "Think he suspected anything?"

You reach for the neat bandaging of your arm. Unraveling it to expose smooth, unbroken skin, you're momentarily grateful that the thin, looping scars are spiderweb thin and invisible to anyone not trained to look for them. "No," you answer, studying where the laceration had been, "I don't think he did."

[husbandhoshi]

[5:00 PM]

lee chan never misses a beat.

one of your favorite things to do is watch him. the cocktail shaker turns to liquid gold in his hands, and no matter what terrible remix the dj decides to play for the night, you can never miss the hum of one of his perfect pours.

if you weren't competing for tips, you might say you had a bit of a thing for him.

but who doesn't? on weekends, the music is loud, and you think the easiest place to fall in love is here, at a college bar where vodka runs like water and you can't hear the sound of your own better judgment. truly, it's just a bonus that its star bartender wears the hell out of a button-up.

it's the slow hour, or, as mingyu likes to call it, free money, since all he does in the kitchen is throw shots while frying off the leftover mozzarella sticks before the friday night rush. the bar is empty, and the minutes pass like honey. usually, you prep your station and punt half-baked insults at chan, who isn't above returning the favor.

but today seems different. you watch him fumble with the strainer as he finishes up a mojito, seemingly in slow motion. he's already had to do a few remakes, and you can't remember the last time that's happened.

"think fast."

you toss chan an empty glass, which he nearly drops.

"sheesh," he grumbles. "trying to take my head off and it's not even 7 yet."

"sorry." you grin, and you watch him fight down his dimples as they fold up in return. "you were in a staring match with that poor girl's margarita."

"horrible week." he runs a hand through his hair. "i think i need a drink more than anyone else."

"boo hoo. wipe your tears with your tip money."

chan rolls his eyes at you, and you prepare to double down before it occurs to you that you couldn't keep teasing him even if you wanted to.

the only thing you know about him is, one, that he's old enough for this job, and, two, that he goes to your university. you've tried to guess what he's studying before, but nothing seems quite right—he's too practical for the humanities and not quite miserable enough to be in the sciences. last week, you saw him count a handful of change at least four times, so math was off the table.

regardless, it feels wrong to see chan, seemingly impenetrable to the perils of academia, winded by a bad week at school.

before you can say anything, the lone couple on chan's end of the bar flags him down and orders two off-menu cocktails with a million modifications. you watch the defeat write itself all over his face as he trudges over to you, and you decide it's time for an intervention.

"you," you say, pressing a finger to his chest. "sit. no questions."

chan frowns but acquiesces—he's learned the hard way not to cross you. instead, he takes a seat on the other side of the bartop and watches you make the drinks instead. you've run through these steps too many times to count; everything from the waxy twist of the orange peel to the bell-toll of the stirring spoon is second nature, except now it's also decidedly not. chan's gaze is surprisingly warm and it bothers you.

you slide the two drinks down and put a third in front of your weary coworker, who looks more and more confused by the second.

"drink," you tell him. it's a pint of beer, namely his favorite brand, although you'd rather die than reveal that it is not, in fact, a coincidence that you know this.

he first looks confused, then relieved. then he has the gall to smile at you, and you almost choke on your own heartbeat.

"are you trying to get me too drunk for my shift so you can poach my tips?" he raises an eyebrow before his expression disappears under the lip of the glass. "or is this a set-up? so you can report me for drinking on the job?"

"no and no, although those are good ideas." you bite the inside of your cheek as you piece together what you want to say—honestly, you didn't think you'd get this far. "what class?"

"what?"

you busy yourself with washing the two and a half glasses in the sink so that you don't have to maintain eye contact with him.

"you heard me."

"education studies," he sighs. "we had a three part midterm this week."

"education studies? you want to be a teacher?"

"is that a bad thing?"

no, it isn't. actually, it's the furthest thing from being bad—you picture chan in a too-big cardigan reading the very hungry caterpillar to a room of small children, and it genuinely makes you feel a little bit hungover.

"no, i just..." you search for your next jab at him, but it escapes you. "i didn't expect it, that's all. it...suits you."

"you're an art major, right?"

he says this as you're in the middle of rinsing the same glass for the third time, and you almost break it. "—how'd you know?"

"you always leave your sketchbook in the break room. you're really good, you know." then he holds up his hands like he's being mugged. "n-not that i snooped or anything. you just forget it sometimes, so i try to put it back in your bag after shift if i see it out."

suddenly things make a lot more sense. you've lost track of the times you've walked back to the bar after work thinking you forgot it, only to find it neatly tucked away in your backpack. the mental image of chan agonizing over whether or not to touch your stuff would make you laugh if it wasn't so endearing.

it makes you think about all the other small kindnesses you've allowed each other—the nights where he'd lend you his jacket if the air was cranked too high, or the times you'd cover for him when he'd show up late. or now, with this stupid pint glass you keep refilling and the floaty feeling in your head.

you look up from your nonexistent task to look at him, only to find that he's also looking at you, that he's been looking at you. something in your chest feels like it's being steamrolled, and if you weren't so concerned with swallowing down the heat in your cheeks, you'd notice that he was doing the same.

thankfully, mingyu emerges from the kitchen to ruin the moment. he has nachos in one hand and curly fries in the other, which is, in your opinion, the only acceptable way to do so.

"finally," he says, clapping chan on the back. "you guys have stopped ogling each other and started actually talking!"

your stomach drops, and you think you and chan actually gasp in unison, like you're in a cartoon. mingyu cackles. this is going to be a long night.

[asherraccoon]

Sick- Radioapple- Sickfic, Hurt/comfort kinda?

(I'm sick rn so Luci gets to be sick too 😤😤😤)

Lucifer coughed rather loudly. He sniffled, which only resulted in him coughing again. He groaned, hiding his head under the blankets. Lucifer hated being sick. He reached for his phone and checked the time. It was only 11 am. He had been stuck in bed all day, feeling like shit. 

There was a knock on the door. Alastor entered the room holding a tray with food. “Hey,” he said quietly. He closed the door behind him and walked over to Lucifer. 

Lucifer watched as Alastor set the food on the table next to his bed. He coughed into his pillow. “Hi,” he muttered. 

“How are you holding up?” Alastor asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What do you think?” Lucifer retorted. He wasn't in a good mood. But then again, who was in a good mood when they got sick? 

Alastor's ears lowered. He rubbed his neck. “I brought you some soup. Figured it'd be easiest for you to stomach,” 

“I'll eat it when I get hungry,” Lucifer mumbled. He sniffled. “Hand me a tissue will ya?” 

Alastor obeyed the request and handed Lucifer a tissue. 

Lucifer sat up and wiped his nose with the tissue. “Hate being sick,” he murmured. 

Alastor laughed. “Yeah, not many enjoy it,” 

Lucifer threw the tissue in the trash can by his bed. He lay back down and pulled the blanket up over his shoulders.

“Anything I can do for you?” Alastor asked. 

Lucifer shook his head. “No. I just need to sleep more and try not to die,” he muttered. He coughed again. And then some more. 

Alastor gently patted Lucifer's back as he coughed. 

“Nooo, don't touch meeee,” Lucifer whined. “I don't want you to get sick,” he said, looking up at Alastor. 

“I don't care if I get sick, I just want you to feel better,” Alastor said, combing Lucifer's messy bangs back with his fingers. 

Lucifer sneezed, accidentally causing himself to shapeshift. He turned into a cat. Blonde fur with black legs and a white muzzle and belly. He blinked his eyes and looked at his paws. “Fuck,” he curled up under the blankets, hiding himself completely. 

“Is that normal?” Alastor asked. 

“No,” Lucifer mumbled. “When I'm sick my shapeshifting gets all wacky,” he whined. “I can't control what I turn into when I'm sick,” 

Alastor pulled the blanket off of Lucifer's cat form and picked him up, setting him in his lap. “Well, perhaps some rest will do you good,” he said, scratching Lucifer's ears. 

“Having me in your lap is a terrible idea,” Lucifer grumbled. “If I sneeze and turn into a horse, I'm going to crush you,” he purred at the scratching. 

“Worth it to me,” Alastor replied, smiling. “As long as you feel better,” 

Lucifer's cat form flicked his tail. He felt a tickle in his nose. He stood up and jumped off the bed so he could sneeze and shapeshift without worrying about hurting Alastor. He sneezed three times, shapeshifting each time. First a bear, then a wolf, then finally a snake. He sniffled and coughed. “Ugh…” 

Alastor's expression shifted to be one of sympathy. “Are you okay?” He asked. 

Lucifer shook his head. He shifted back into his usual form. He rubbed his nose and coughed a couple of times into his arm. “I wish I could just poof my illness away,” he muttered. “Can't just wap bap boom alakazam and be fine, unfortunately,” he said. He coughed again. He lay on his back on the floor. 

“Why don't you try and eat?” Alastor suggested. 

Lucifer shook his head. “No, I'm not hungry,” he said, sighing. He sniffed. “Kill me please…” he muttered, putting his arms over his eyes. 

“Y'know, two years ago that would have sounded very appealing,” Alastor joked. 

“Two years…” Lucifer repeated. He looked at Alastor. “Has it really been that long since we first met?” 

Alastor nodded. “Indeed. I can hardly believe it myself,”

“Huh…” Lucifer stared up at the ceiling.

There was a moment of silence. 

Lucifer got up off the floor and went over to the bed. He lay down on the bed with his head in Alastor's lap. 

Alastor played with Lucifer's hair. “I don't think I've ever seen you sick before,” 

“I don't get sick often,” Lucifer muttered. He pressed his face against Alastor's stomach. “'m tired…” he mumbled. 

“Then go ahead and get some sleep,” Alastor said softly. 

“My nose is too fucked up,” Lucifer complained. 

Alastor sighed. “You should still try,” 

Lucifer huffed. He coughed again. “I wanna die…” he murmered. 

“And I don't want you to die,” Alastor said. He booped Lucifer's nose. “You'll feel better after getting some more rest,” 

“Stop tryna get me to sleep,” Lucifer pouted. 

“No,” Alastor replied. 

Lucifer grumbled. He closed his eyes and nuzzled his face into Alastor's stomach, his arms around the radio demon's waist. “Bambi?” 

“Hm?”

“Can you sing for me?” 

Alastor chuckled softly. “I don't see why not, mon ange,” he continued to mess with Lucifer's blonde hair. He began to sing as Lucifer asked of him. 

Lucifer listened. He enjoyed it when Alastor sang for him. It wasnt long before he finally fell asleep, his mouth slightly open, a soft snore emitting from him. 

Alastor noticed Lucifer fall asleep, but he didn't stop singing until the song was finished. Once he was done, he leaned his head back and sighed softly. “Get well soon, mon ange,” 

(They both ended up sick in the morning 😋) 

[abalidoth]

Weird FATE Dice

I'm a big fan of the role-playing game FATE (also known as FATE Core). There are many things I love about FATE -- I could go on about the brilliance of aspects, the flexibility of the fractal structure of the game, or its near-infinite hackability. But the aspect of the game I like least is the dice. FATE inherited its dice from an older game called Fudge, and rather than using d20s, or d6s, or even d10s like nWoD, it uses two d3s marked with (minus, blank, plus). Usually, including the sets you can buy, these are in the form of d6s with two minus sides, two plus sides, and two blank sides. You roll four of these dice for each roll you need to make in the game.

This is cool in theory, but ends up meaning you have to use a whole special set of dice, or you have to mark up some blank or pipped D6 dice to make a set of FATE dice.

What if we used approximation to change things up a little?

First off, we can't use the whole rolling table. The chance of rolling any given combination of the dice is 1/81 -- in fact, you can buy a deck of 81 "FATE Cards" that do this exact thing, one card for each possible roll. That's 3^4. There's no such thing as a fair 81-sided die, so we're out of luck there.

How about approximating two FATE dice, and doing that twice? Well, the chance of any given combination of two FATE dice is 1/9. There's not really such a thing as a fair nine-sided die either. (You can use a doublemarked d18, but that's an extremely nonstandard shape, with very elongated sides.)

But we can approximate a d9 pretty well, in one of two ways. We can use one of two standard dice, a d8 or a d10. The rolling table for our "FATE d9" is [-2,-1,-1,0,0,0,1,1,2]. We can remove a 0 from this to get a "FATE d8" or add one to get a "FATE d10". The first is slightly swingier than 2dFATE, the second is slightly more centered.

But what if we use one of each?

If we roll a "FATE d8" and a "FATE d10" together, there are 80 possible combinations, compared to the 81 of a true 4dFATE roll. The rolling tables turn out to be completely identical, except that we're missing a single 0 roll. This means that the probability of every non-0 outcome is only 1.23% different in magnitude* between the two systems, and the probability of a 0 is only 4.25% different in magnitude.

*This is magnitude percentage, not percentage points, so this is a pretty impressive result. For example, the chance of a +4 on a 4dFATE roll is ~1.235%; our modified system has a 1.25% chance.

Now, does this fix my problems with the dice in the system? Not even a little bit. We've replaced four modified d6 -- the easiest kind of blank die to find -- with two separate modified polyhedrals. I have, as is my way, used math to make the situation worse. But it's fun that you can get a nearly identical result with two dice! Maybe I'll try printing up a set of "2dFAKE" of my very own.

I'm still thinking of a way to do FATE-esque results with standard, unmodified polyhedrals. One of the FATE supplements recommends d6-d6, which is VASTLY swingier... but what about rolling 4d6, throwing out the highest and lowest, and using the difference between the remaining two? I'll have to think about this.

[sysmedsaresexist]

Psych Critical

This post is highly related to this post, and I hope you'll read both. This was written second.

I've sent a couple asks to anti psych blogs talking about my own situation.

My goal isn't to change their minds, but to see what options they think are available to my family. Not every attempt at communication is an attack on a stance. I have real questions.

If there are other options, I'd love to hear them. I want these options to exist. I want more than what my family is going to get.

However, no one has responded to my asks. Maybe they think it's bait and I'm trying to catch them in a trick, maybe they don't know the answer, maybe they don't care (if you're one of those blogs, you've forfeited an opinion on my life).

So I'm going to post, under my own name, and ask again.

This isn't bait. This is my life, my every day normal. This is my father's life, every single day.

Psych Critical is a stance that I don't have a choice in. The psych system is only one thing that my family will turn to for help, and if we don't approach it first, it'll approach us on less kind circumstances. And that's genuinely what we're looking for.

Help.

And I think blanket generalizations like the above are about as useful as trash. I shouldn't have to hate myself and my family for needing help and seeking it out.

My father has something called NF (Neurofibromatosis). You might know this as "elephant man disease," though these are distinct disorders that are different from each other. It's the easiest way to describe it, though. He has tumors all over his body, inside and out, in his case. Visible lumps all over his body.

Unfortunately, these tumors are also on his brain. This causes him to have seizures, strokes, hallucinate, and have bouts of violence towards anyone and everyone. Specifically concerning is the voice of God telling him to punish his (now adult) children, and threatening to harm people based on the colour of their skin and religion. These hallucinations likely stem from the fact that he was raised as an orphan in the church (yes, it's exactly what you think).

There was a time when he could have gotten treatment, but we're past that. Initially, he refused. He was scared, I'm sure he didn't think it would end up like this. Now, he's unable to consent to treatment, and it's so progressed that surgery isn't an option. Chemo never was. To make matters worse, he's an alcoholic, to the point that not drinking will cause seizures and will likely result in death. Not to mention the damage to his liver that's slowly killing him. It's not functioning well these days.

There is no POA or will, and he's not able to consent to signing either. He will not go to any doctors at this point. You can't even have a conversation about this with him. Every plan he's set up on, retirement, pension, disability-- he calls them constantly to fuck around with it, cancel it, take his children's names off it, tell them he doesn't need it. They've stopped talking to him and will only discuss with my mother, despite there being no POA in place.

He is only going to get worse. He is going to die, and he doesn't understand.

My father is already dead. The man that raised me is gone, the man that cared isn't in that head anymore. It's a cruel soul using his body like a puppet until it finally gives out.

At this point... my siblings, mother, and I have had to cut him out of our lives. He's mean. He's so goddamn mean and cruel. His words cut harder than his fists, only because there's nothing left to him. He's skin and bones.

I don't know how much longer my cousin can let him stay there. Then what?

At some point, he will need to be forcibly committed and treated, if only to make him comfortable during his final... years? Months? Days? Because of the unique circumstances, there's likely not a drug that can help curb any of the symptoms. Drugs might be able to get him off the alcohol, but he's not going to like that at all, and that's not what's causing the hallucinations. His memory only gets worse by the day. Simple daily things like using the stove are becoming more of a danger, because he keeps walking away and forgetting.

I have about as much choice in this as he does, and the sooner he's committed, the better for everyone, including him. I mean, he can continue to stay out, and pass out on the streets trying to get home from the bar after getting kicked out for starting fights or getting angry when he's cut off. I don't know if or when he's going to forget the way home, and even if I try not to care... I'm scared.

I fear the day he's picked up by the police. I want him in the legal system even less than the psych system, and I think he'll fight any police that try to approach him. This is a man that, I promise you, would rather be homeless than denied alcohol.

This is not my biological father. He came into my life when I was only 1 year old. My biological father was, surprise surprise, also an alcoholic. He was in a drunk driving accident before I was born that killed other people. He was the driver.

My step dad, the only dad I've ever known, scares me sometimes.

I don't want to be the child of two murderers.

So I ask again, what do you suggest? How is this ableist? Your focus is psychotic people, but that's not the only people in these facilities. That's not the only disease that they treat. I read a couple posts from a linked resource (it's tumblr posts, let's not lie), and one of them mentioned something akin to outpatient treatment. @trans-axolotl because I'm using your post. I actually appreciate the "I don't know" of your answer.

It's a lot better than, "you're ableist for even thinking about this."

Friendos, I don't have a choice but to think about this.

This seemed silly to me, though, because psych wards already act like that. Many of the patients leave during the day to work, shop and visit family, and return at night. Rinse and repeat for them, every day. There's a surprising amount of individualized treatment, freedoms, and steps for each patient.

But not everyone can adhere to that. If my dad got out during the day, he would be drinking, and this would exacerbate the symptoms. He's a dick when he's drunk on the best of days. It's why my mother divorced him originally, before the hallucinations started.

A dry house wouldn't work, either. The places this man has hidden alcohol... he's like a squirrel, it's just everywhere, and he comes across them like,

Inside the WALLS, my guys. Hidden in the basement, the wall goes up to uncovered beams and there's a gap, and he hides them down behind those walls.

Do you know how many spiders are in there? He can fucking drink them, he wins that battle. Touché, dad.

When they tear the house down in the far future, I'm willing to bet they'll find a full liquor store down there. And again, the first time someone says, "you can't bring that in here," he'll turn around and say, "then I'm not going in there, diddles," because his fucking language part of the brain is broken and no matter how many times you explain that "diddle" is a CSA word that you can't just use randomly like that, he forgets.

When I first got married, I had him over to my apartment to spend a few nights. The amount of alcohol that got into my house... I don't even think he brought boxers, just alcohol, and it ended in a fight, and I made him leave. After that, he refused to come visit me. He's never been to my sibling's homes. It was the final straw for me, the things he said to my husband are unforgivable. I keep watch from afar now, talking to my cousin about him.

I said a few paragraphs up that the man that cared is gone. Sometimes, I look back, and I'm reminded of all the doubts growing up that he ever really cared. But I still care, and loving him is painful. The fear of what he's going to do next is even worse.

I want to finish this off with one of my... I don't want to say favorite, but this documentary was one that helped me, a fair bit, when it came out. I'd genuinely like the opinions of anti psych people on this documentary, and the true extent of violence and self harm that some patients display. Heavy trigger warning for severe self harm and violence toward others. Obviously.

For some of these patients, do you see another option for treatment? If not psych wards, what do you suggest happens to some of the patients in the video? What role did the staff actually play in some of the events portrayed?

As a general reminder, this isn't to change minds but open dialogue.

"Psych crits are ableist," is a pretty harsh statement considering the number of people in similar positions to myself. I feel like there's a huge disregard and ignorance for the violence that real people are experiencing.

Again, I'm psych critical, I don't accept the system as it is now, I think there's many improvements to be made. I think there is a need, in a very not small number of cases, for this type of system. I understand and appreciate the intersection of race, poverty and mental health that leads to anti psych sentiments, and I agree. There is a large number of people in psych wards that shouldn't be. This needs to be addressed.

But how do you reconcile both? I can't figure it out. I don't know.

[aesethewitch]

Hello!

I've been reading some of your kofi posts on spirits, and since you seem quite knowledgeable on the topic I have a question for you:)

Do you know of any fast ways to check for a spirit and get them to (if they want) move with you someplace else?

Bit of backstory: There was a spirit in our old house (pretty sure she was a house spirit) and I'd like to see if she's still there and if she is, to maybe get her to move with me back home. It was a while ago now, so I'm not sure if she even would anymore, but I "fed" her all the time as a kid and then later would get her little gifts. Thing is, one of the people living there is absolute trash so I'd like to keep my visits to a minimum. Could I ask her to move without being there somehow, so I just need to go and pick her up? I've heard of the method to ask and leave a box overnight when moving, but I can't really do that since I can only come for max 30min and very rarely:/

Hope it's okay to ask you this, otherwise feel free to ignore!

Hello! (:

I do know various ways to both check for a particular spirit's presence and to invite them along with you -- the thirty minute time limit is definitely a challenge. Unless you already have a set of signs or are able to make instant, psychic contact with spirits, it'll likely be tough to do both of those things within such a short period of time.

However! It isn't totally impossible. What I would do is bank on the spirit being there, creating a vessel in advance, bringing it with you, and working to make contact while you're there either passively or actively -- both to see if you can reach it and to invite it into the vessel.

Since you're under a time crunch, the easiest way to do this is going to be creating a temporary spirit house ahead of time to bring with you. It can really be anything -- a jar, a bowl, a clay doll, a piece of jewelry, a photo, anything at all. It's smart to choose something you think the spirit would be attracted to. This post and this post by @windvexer are excellent 101 guides for creating a spirit house/vessel and inviting spirits into them! You can either make a strictly temporary one for easy transport or make one that'll be the spirit's permanent home, whichever you prefer.

In particular, I would put something in the vessel to attract the spirit and convince it to enter/come home with you. Placing a message inside stating your goal might also be a good idea.

Prepare an area in your home for the vessel to sit. Again, if it's temporary, you won't necessarily have to keep it around forever. But either way, it's important to put it somewhere it won't really be disturbed or have to be moved around constantly. Once the spirit has officially moved in, you can make adjustments as needed or as requested by the spirit.

Bring the vessel with you, along with a coin of some sort. A die will also work if you can't find a coin. This is going to be your simple method of communication while at the house.

Essentially, what you'll want to do is:

If possible, set the vessel out so that it can be seen/accessed by the spirit. If not possible, find an opportunity to let the spirit know that the vessel exists. (If you're certain that you aren't going to be able to let the spirit know about the vessel, verbally or otherwise, add energy to the vessel ahead of time to make it welcoming. Like a lighthouse or a beacon, designed to draw the spirit's attention.)

While you allow the vessel to do its work, begin the process of checking for the spirit. You'll do this by asking yes/no questions and flipping the coin (or rolling the die). Make it clear that heads is yes, tails is no (or evens/odds are yes/no).

Keep your senses open. If you're able to sense energy, try to recall what that spirit felt like all those years ago. Some spirits prefer particular rooms or areas in a house; you may have to check multiple. If you feel the spirit at any point, pause to ask a few questions -- the standard "Are you here?" but also "Would you like to come home with me?" or "Do you remember me?" would also be solid questions to ask.

Depending on the answers/responses you get, the spirit may decline to come with you. However, just because you get no direct answer doesn't mean that the spirit hasn't agreed!

Once you arrive home, place the vessel in the prepared location. Lay down whatever house rules you want to have in place, including where and when the spirit is welcome to roam. Give a little offering as a welcome gift for good measure. (I like to do biscuits, coffee, and a little candle, personally.)

Check to ensure the spirit has actually followed you home. You can use your other spirit communication methods now that you're without a time crunch. (Sorry for the ko-fi link, I'm just. not finding the tumblr version of that post jhfksdfgjdfg) Remember that you might not get a clear response right away.

If you're 100% sure the spirit hasn't followed you home, you can try again with a different vessel or approach. It's possible the spirit didn't get the memo or just didn't like the house you offered up, but it's also possible that it'd rather stay where it is.

If you perform any kind of astral travel, you might be able to reach out directly to talk about the move ahead of time. And you may be able to communicate at long range, but success varies from spirit to spirit. It really depends on the Type of spirit you're dealing with.

In my experience, I've had the best success making contact in the place the spirit is Most Present. For example, a Spirit Of Place is easiest to contact At That Place; a guardian of a person is easiest to contact when in that person's presence; deities are easiest to contact at an altar dedicated to them or in presence of their devotee; etc., etc., etc.

Hopefully this helps!! Good luck with your spirit (:

[carlyraejepsans]

Yknow, despite how it is impossible by all Ingame options, I wonder how a neutral route with *ONLY* Sans (and Asgore ig) killed would look? Would he count enough as a boss monster (NOT a Boss Monster) to push it from a Queen Toriel ending to an Empress Undyne ending? How would Alphys react (She lost one of her closest friends, but she still has MTT and Undyne around.)? How would Papyrus react (Would he go full angst mode and try close away his heart? Would he become even more of a people pleaser, trying to make sure he doesn't repeat whatever mistake he made with you again? Would he go into denial mode, trying to find Flowey to set things right with him either finding him or not based on what Frisk choses after the FloweyX fight? So many choises), especially with how he seems to Know Something he doesn't let on. I'd imagine that (provided it's a Queen Toriel Ending) Undyne wouldn't be thar affected, sad that Papyrus lost a brother rather than sad that Sans died (she never is close with Sans. She doesn't hate him, but she doesn't know him as more than "Papyrus weird brother" and "My sentry that works the ABSOLUTE bare minimum needed"). I don't think mettaton would appear or be affected, leaving the call pretty limited. So we have Papyrus and Maybe Undyne, with Papyrus probably being... kinda miffed that everything is going along the same, as if Everything hasn't changed. Bonus points if it's Post Dates, leaving a pretty aimless Undyne moving into Sans room, trying to fill a void that she never can. It isn't some threat she can suplex or teach to cook, it's the world being unfair.

(This also would give a pretty Unique Undyne state, being halfway between her "I don't like that you had to kill Asgore, but it's what you had to do" mindset and her more common "You betrayed me in such a soul crushing way it'll affect how I love forever" mindset in most Neutral Endings. I can imagine her actually trying to rationalise it, because the human only killed Asgore (sucks but she Gets It), and... Sans. The easiest enemy, one too weak to make it into the guard, and almost too weak to be a Sentry (Sans would have no reason to reveal Blasters, and his magic would barely scratch the TRUE HERO of the Underground when Karma is factored in. All she would see is surprisingly complex patterns that don't deal even a tenth of her hp). So surely, they had a reason, right? Why else would they do it?)

Forgive any bad writing it's literally 2 AM rn where I am

can't not confess I've thought about it too, but it IS really hard to extend as a concept because there's just... really no way for sans to die outside of the NM run. and I don't mean logistically, i mean character-wise he is so defined by his survival. by his Being There as everything falls apart. the final girl last man standing in the story. so the whole concept immediately falls apart.

undyne wouldn't personally grieve him, seeing as they didn't really know each other, but she WOULD still feel his death on her conscience as she does with every other monster killed in neutral runs. plus, there's her friendship with papyrus to emotionally aggravate things.

papyrus would definitely go into denial. he would be annoyed about him vanishing all of a sudden, then it'd turn to worry, then as his worries become more and more plausible, he'd shut out all rational thought about the subject and pretend everything is alright. i like the idea of him reaching out to flowey, but he'd try to explain his plan while also comtradicting himself all the time in order to never say outloud "sans is dead. we need to fix this"

betrayed undyne... yeah this is where it falls apart again, since you'd have to reason why sans would die (or even instigate a fight at all) in the final corridor during what has so far been a flawless pacifist run.

buuut pushing past the visceral resistance to the concept. i can easily see a scene where the betrayal pushes her to lose it and seek revenge like it does in normal neutral runs, and her looking to papyrus for training help/human destroying plans. and just... meeting a Wall of denial. that would be a harrowing talk. something people don't mention enough is that papyrus sees himself as sans' caretaker as much if not even more than sans does towards him. a world where sans is dead is a world where he failed his brother. it would devastate him. so he clings to anything not to think about it/delude himself. and here comes undyne ready to shatter that fragile hope. it would be a horrible moment between them

but yeah. everything aside, sans would straight up just not die lol.

[justheretoposttrash]

day 5 of meandering about endeavor (and briefly hawks)--(taking a more meta-look at the fandom with this one):

i find it fascinating and honestly sorta cool that the fandom is so divided on endeavor in a way that lines up well with how people are divided on his character within the text itself.

the responses are certainly not black-and-white or binary, but it's easiest for me to give the examples of hawks and natsuo as sorta opposite ends of the spectrum. many endeavor fans are similar to hawks--enjoying his cooler moments while also greatly appreciating how much he puts himself through in his efforts to change for the better (as an aside, i do find it hilarious how many endeavor fans enjoy seeing that man beat the shit out of and actively suffering. kinky lol). endeavor haters, on the other hand, generally want nothing to do with his character (while some even say that they want him to die, when it comes to fictional people in a story, that's basically the equivalent of "keep this guy far away from me"). the need for unequivocal and complete separation from his character is similar to what natsuo wants and sticks with in the story (although he does have his moments of sensitivity regarding his father, in spite of this).

i think that the reasoning behind irl fans and the characters also often align. for hawks, it's incredibly inspiring and gratifying to see that someone is willing to put in the work to change, even if doing so will be difficult and often unrewarding. the worse the actions are, the more painful the upward climb becomes, but also the more crazy it is that the person in question is willing to make that climb in the first place. i've noticed a lot of endhawks fans in particular really finding a lot of personal healing through exploring these ideas, whether they want to change for the better themselves, or they wish those in their life who'd hurt them would be willing to grow as people the way endeavor's character does. sure, there are some people who gloss over the terrible things that he's done, but many seem to enjoy actively engaging with what he's done and working through what it means for them.

for natsuo, it's not just about it being "too little, too late", though that's definitely a big part--but also that he as a person cannot have a relationship with his father while keeping himself safe and healthy. a lot of real-life relationships end up this way, especially between parent and child once the child reaches adulthood, and it's a very healthy boundary to set. for irl people engaging with fiction that triggers similar emotions, this looks more like ignoring, not engaging with, or wishing for the removal of the character activating them---and if that "boundary"-esque wall can't be drawn, if they repeatedly are unable to avoid the character's presence, this often wells up as anger and turns into venting, which is only natural if you're being bombarded with a stimulus that you feel unable to control. (sure, blocking and filtering tags is available, but algorithms can be incredibly confounding/unavoidable, not everyone remembers to tag their stuff perfectly every time, and in this case, the maligned character plays an incredibly crucial and central role in the canon material itself--so if you want to consume, y'know, mha, you have to grapple with a text that at best isn't always for you, or at worst occasionally betrays you.)

i don't mean to overstate my case--a lotta ppl like stuff or hate stuff without questioning it--but i think in the case of this one particular character, a lot of nuance tends to emerge, and there's a lot of potential there for analysis/learning. I also think that some conflict and friction becomes inevitable between disagreeing fans regarding endeavor's character. naturally, your average person getting crushed in the gears of day-to-day life is going to feel hurt when they're accused of not engaging with the thing that brings them much-needed comfort in the "correct" way, especially if they have indeed been putting a lot of work into thoughtfully engaging with it behind-the-scenes. it's also difficult to give people you disagree with the benefit of the doubt, bc honestly there are plenty of wild takes or arguments made in bad faith out there--and very few ppl want to wade through a bunch of cortisol-spiking statements just to find one that is reasonable enough but that still might be disagreeable to them.

it's likewise interesting to see the reactions of people either calling hawks a murderer and hating on his character, or claiming he did nothing wrong and that twice shouldn't have fought/deserved to die (and while i can understand wanting to defend silly bbygirl birdman, man oh man would hawks not be happy with the latter take if he were a Real Boy). i don't believe either group comprises the majority of mha fans by a longshot, but there's still enough that i've noticed these little trends in one pocket of the internet or amother. i got nothin prescriptive here, i just find it all interesting to talk about.

lastly, i wanna say that, while telling stories from the POV of an abuser and trying to give them sympathy at the same time is so often a gross and very Bad Move, crazily enough i think mha is one of the best executions of this that i've seen. aside from the nuanced way endeavor gets treated by other characters (some supportive, some rightfully angry, some rightfully hateful), what stands out to me is that, by having us see through his pov, the story actually shows what anyone could realistically expect as a best-case-scenario of an abuser starting to atone. we don't have to question if he's sorry, don't have to question if he understands what he did as wrong, don't have to question that he's doing actionable things to make progress, etc., because we spend so much time with his thoughts. and it's not perfectly linear and it does come way too late, but it is kind of wild to see this kind of best-case evolution unfold bit by bit. of course, the flipside to this is that real life doesn't work this way and you can never have absolute certainty that an abuser genuinely understands/won't go on to abuse again. still, being able to see a direct model for what accountability and working towards atonement looks like is refreshing, when by comparison so many other character arcs in other stories 1) end in redemption through death, 2) have the character barely do any internal work/stay an absolute asshole, or 3) resolve a past "sin" that actually wasn't that bad to begin with. when all three tropes are avoided, when someone did something unforgivable but is veritably changing for the better but is still alive, what the heck happens next? what the hell do you do? what does anyone do? some options are explored in mha in a pretty neat way--natsuo never wants to see enji, and enji agrees. touya wants to see enji every day (at least implicitly so) and enji makes that his vow. so many flawed parents irl are unable to respect their childrens' wishes when it comes to letting them completely go so they can live their lives, or when it comes to staying ever-present and showing them genuine care, and yet enji becomes a parent capable of doing both opposite-seeming things at once, finally willing to do and become what his children ask of him. the todoroki saga is certainly not perfect---i for one have *thoughts* about how the very end of rei's arc has been handled---but i think it's unique for how it benefits from providing so much of endeavor's pov, whereas other stories from an abuser's pov might have slapped on shitty apologia or only provided an "explanation" for why that character is so nasty without going too much further than that. while this choice may force some fans to have a level of closeness with a character whose presence begets feelings of hurt and hopelessness, it also makes sense why this choice has captivated other fans and provided, oddly enough, a sense of inspiration and hope.

[phoenixcatch7]

I thought up that Saiki/Billy/Danny poll on a lol but honestly I keep thinking about it. They're all so interesting as comparisons to each other.

Billy, aka captain marvel: young orphan boy with a heart of gold and a strong sense of justice getting into trouble for it. Sweet darling angel with huge authority issues and Will Fight And Lie over it. Wants to be a hero more than anything else but didn't really get a choice in becoming one. Destiny is strong with this one. Uses his newfound powers to save others and help everyone around him, preferring to talk his enemies down or outwit them but very good with violence. Keenly aware of how easy it would be to turn evil (with Adam) and refuses to ever follow that path. Would be in huge trouble if the government ever got him and he knows it.

Saiki: seemingly apathetic teenager with a heart of gold getting into trouble for it. Sarcastic and pithy, he prefers solitude and privacy but keeps getting semi willingly roped into doing 'friendship' stuff with his 'buddies' (who he'd die for). Easily bribed. Acts polite and obedient to fly under the radar but does not even slightly respect authority given his circumstances with his normal family and the numerous kidnapping and experimentation attempts from governments (and his older brother) since he was very young. Was born with his ever growing powers and every attempt to reduce or remove them has failed with the exception of his limiters, he doesn't want them but didn't really get a choice. Very avoidant or passive of conflict, preferring to save his rare world saving heroics for when he can't be discovered, he doesn't have a hero persona. But he's also very capable of great violence on massive scales when necessary. An unreliable narrator with a slight god complex despite his desperation for a normal human life. Conscious of how easy it would be to turn evil and determined to never follow that path. Would be in massive trouble if the government ever caught him and he's keenly aware.

Danny: sassy and punny teenager with a heart of gold getting into trouble for it. The fluke accident turning him part ghost also released the ghosts onto the town, and he feels it's his responsibility to stop them, before either side gets hurt or worse. A typical teenager with annoying teachers and parents who want to rip him molecule from molecule has left him with very little respect for authority (but it's better than the other two - just). Didn't really want to be a hero with powers but didn't really have a choice. Will sass people into making bad decisions (that usually ends with him upside down in a wall) and generally ready to throw down the second he senses a ghost (or a vlad). His encounters have left him with an iron clad set of morals and he's keenly aware of how easy it would be for him to turn evil, despite how much he refuses to become his worst nightmare. If the government ever got their hands on him he'd be deeply screwed and he knows it.

I'd honestly love to see the three teenage power houses meet, even if just to gripe and find understanding XD. They'd be such an interesting dynamic.

Saiki: *sipping a drink as the other two crash and wheel wildly overhead in a landscape destroying spar, mercilessly critiquing them both like he could do any better*

Billy: *desperately trying to stop his new friends from conning a conman in revenge for getting conned so easily themselves despite his warnings*

Danny: *deeply morbid humour about the fragility of life as he blasts music to the beat of the video game he's crushing the other two at until saiki blows up the TV*

Honestly these three would bring out the blackest humour in each other, it'd be so bad.

Billy would be the extrovert golden boy face of the group despite being just as ready to play dirty as them, Danny the one dragging them everywhere and daring them to do stupid things, and saiki the guy in the back acting above it all like he's not the easiest to provoke into dumb stuff. MENACES, the lot of them.

But I kind of like how their wildly abnormal childhoods and lives would find so many points of understanding with the others. They'd all benefit hugely from having others their age like them.

[chaoticgoodthief]

More STP Thoughts

So I did this thing earlier but now I'm thinking... There's games that the voices would play... but then there's something else that I can't stop thinking about. What would be the most interesting game characters for the voices to be? Say that after the Construct shatters, they're all thrown into being their own Player Character of different games.

Contrarian is probably the easiest in my mind. Stanley from The Stanley Parable, same as he would probably enjoy playing. It's a game in which he is in a constant loop of disobeying the whims of an angry British Narrator with a capital N who has very strong opinions on what the correct path is. And would be fun to try pull him out of there, because I'd bet my life savings that the Narrator would guilt-trip him about it. And *eyes my TSP ships* it might get a bit... awkward.

Opportunist, a voice that I didn't have any clue what to do with before but now have the perfect idea. Lamb from Cult of the Lamb. Manipulative, obeying a higher deity but ultimately self-serving, made a deal in exchange for his own freedom only to (potentially) disobey when his own life is at stake. Originally was planning for Broken in this role because of the whole Priest to a cruel god, but Opportunist just works better. A really inflated ego from defeating and enslaving a god plus things turning out extremely beneficial to him will make he really hard to convince to leave.

Cold... well, there are multiple options here. I'm not going with Flowey because I think he just doesn't have it in him to be that chirpy, even as an act. Although that would be funny for the other voices to deal with... Instead, I'm going to go with Batter from OFF. It's not as big of a game as the others, but I really think it works. Think Genocide Route Frisk, but there's no other choice but to kill everything. Wipe the world of any life at all, do whatever it takes to complete his task, no matter who has to die to achieve it. Getting him to stop trying to "purify" the voices for long enough to listen to them would be one of the hardest parts, but at least he can't attack during dialogue.

Paranoid is another one that I didn't really have any ideas on until lately. But now I have the Doorman from That's Not My Neighbor. Sure, there's a bit of a more Skeptic role with the whole question them until they reveal the truth, but I think it still works. I mean the whole Nightmares and distrust of what's real and what's fake... it was a tough choice but ultimately Paranoid works a bit better in a horror setting than Skeptic. And getting him out of there. Oh, I don't even know how the other voices will drag him out of his safe little office.

Smitten... Oh, Smitten I'm so sorry. The unnamed protagonist of Doki Doki Literature Club! Has good intentions (just falling in love with a girl), believes he's in a romance story until too late. I wouldn't be surprised if this scars him for life. I'm not sure if he would even make it to the end before breaking down completely. He doesn't even have Cold to do all the emotional repression for him. Even if he is probably the easiest to convince into leaving, getting him to even be responsive again would probably be a struggle.

Hero would probably be the one having to convince to others to leave, to be honest. Sorry buddy. Someone has to do it and I'm afraid you are just the best fit for the role. At least LQ might be there to help you. Might.

I'm not really familiar with any games that work well for the other voices so please let me know your thoughts if you have any ideas! The more painful the better 😈

Edit 1 (suggestion from an anon ask):

Broken as the protagonist from Do Not Take This Cat Home. Gosh, this was so perfect. The game is literally a metaphor for abusive relationships, he's trapped in a endless loop repeatedly meeting his abuser and dying by their whims. He's lonely, desperate, and just wanting a companion and to make that companion happy with him. Please take him out. He's going need to be dragged kicking and screaming because he is very likely not going to be able to get the good ending by himself.

Edit 2 (Another anon suggestion 😈):

Cheated as the player in Buckshot Roulette. Wow. A lot of the voices work really well in other indie horror games and Cheated is no different. There is nothing but the game. A Russian roulette game with multiple twists and changes, but at the end of the day that same back and forth of each one trying to win. Back and forth and back and forth. Trying to use new tricks to win the same game. One of them has to die. But no matter who does, neither truly wins. Will he even want to leave until the game is "over"? Probably not. Please drag him out, he's going mad trying to win a loser's game. I love this.

Edit 3 (More anon suggestions yay!!!):

Hunted as the Slugcat from Rain World. Literally trapped in an endless circle of death and rebirth, escaping getting eaten, killed by the elements, or starving to death. I've said about every single suggestion, but I honestly think this fits extremely well. There are even little changes to the story you can make dependent on which path you chose! (Monk, Survivor, Hunter). Will also probably attack whoever tries pull him out because cat > bird and I think that's funny so that's also a win :D

Edit 4 (Suggestion from @gallus-mundus):

Skeptic as the player from Exit 8. Hahahaha wow almost none of the voices actually left the horror genre, did they? But YES. This works so well for him. Sure, the deductions are very limited, but it's not really like he did that many in the game to be honest. His chronic overthinker ass is not beating the game (read: chaining yourself to the wall, you absolute dumbass). There's a time limit, even if he does manage to figure out the trick to escaping I really don't think he is going to make it out alone. At least he should be reasonably easy to convince to leave compared to the rest...

Edit 5

Stubborn as V1 from Ultrakill. Finally, another voice that escape the horror genre! Not a perfect fit, but pretty neat in my humble opinion. Literally running on bloodshed, a sense of duty/purpose to fight, but often also characterised as someone that enjoys the fight itself. And... *Side-eyes at Gabriel/V1* yeah, that type of relationship looks... familiar. Good luck getting him out of there, he's discovered the wonderous world of modern weaponry. (Alternatively, if he's taken out at the end of the game... yeah probably not in that good of an emotional state either.)

WOOOO YEAH FINALLY DONE!!! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR HELP!!!

[baronessblixen]

Fictober 2023

All the stories in one place. A huge thank you to everyone for their support this month.

Day 1: Secret Spots - This is cotton candy-flavored fluff set after "Millennium": Mulder and Scully go to Mrs. Scully's house and find themselves all alone for a moment...

Day 2: Just in Case - This is angst/hurt/comfort with a dash of hopeful cheesiness. Starts off in Dod Kalm (yes, you read that right). Mulder decides to be brave in what he believes to be his last moments on earth.

Day 3: The Deepest Cut - Diana/IVF angst (with a soft ending): Scully is already upset about a colleague's pregnancy and then Diana shows up and makes things worse.

Day 4: Always Expect The Unexpected - Some soft, fluffy silliness today: Scully and Mulder see her mother out on a date with... A.D. Skinner?

Day 5: If I Were The King of The World - Fluffy-fluff set in Detour: We get to see a bit more of Scully singing to Mulder...

Day 6: In The Blink Of An Eye - Angst/Mulder in peril: Mulder happens to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time...

Day 7: Glimpses of October - Post-IWTB/Pre-Revival vignette: Mulder watches his son play in the fallen leaves. Or is he?

Day 8: A Very Queequeg Morning - Hurt/comfort AND humor after "Pusher": Mulder doesn't mind Scully showing up at his apartment after the case at all. Only problem: she's not alone.

Day 9: Talk Vanilla to Me - Rated M/banter/humor(?): Mulder can't sleep, but luckily, Scully is there to listen… and maybe more.

Day 10: Wishes - Fluff(?) post "Je Souhaite": Mulder wants to know what Scully's wishes would have been.

Day 11: Always Partners - Set in season 6, hurt/comfort, some angst: Kersh puts Scully on another case without Mulder and once again she gets hurt.

Day 12: The Easiest Choice - Fluff, rewrite of the last scene in "Existence": Mulder asks Scully what she's going to name the baby.

Day 13: Don't Forget The Cake - Fluff-ish, season 6: Diana throws Mulder a surprise birthday party. Chaos ensues.

Day 14: Preparation is Everything - Fluff, set after "Alone": With Mulder being unemployed, and Scully on maternity leave, they spend their time thinking about furniture, baby names, and all the ways their lives will change.

Day 15: Temporary Insanity - Angsty first kiss fill-in for "Paper Clip": What happened on that elevator ride?

Day 16: Mothers Always Know - Post-ep (sort of) for "Chimera", fluff: It's the Sunday morning after Mulder stayed over at Scully's and he has a somewhat awkward run-in with her mother.

Day 17: In Sickness And in Health - Hurt/comfort post-"Arcadia": They're on their way back home from The Falls at Arcadia when Scully gets sick.

Day 18: Beautiful In My Eyes - UST-filled post-ep fic: Mulder thinks Scully is the most beautiful person wherever she goes. She doesn't believe him so he tries to make her see it his way.

Day 19: It's Us Against The World - Angst, canon divergence for "Nothing Important Happened Today": No matter what Kersh said, Scully doesn't want Mulder to leave her and the baby. But what choice do they have?

Day 20: Shooting Stars - Mulder and Scully sharing a bed during two nights in The Rain King. After a first awkard night, what happens during the second one after the party ?

Day 21: No Longer Stuck In The Past - A different kind of post-episode fic for "The Unnatural": After his and Scully's baseball date, Mulder runs into Diana.

Day 22: Cookie Theft and Other Crimes - How the Ghosts Stole Christmas post-ep, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff - all the fixings: Bill Jr. runs into Mulder in the middle of the night and it goes as well as you might expect.

Day 23: You're Not Welcome Here - AU in which Diana didn't die and Mulder didn't leave after "Existence": Scully and William are waiting for Mulder when no other than Diana Fowley walks into the basement office.

Day 24: Rules Are Rules - Set in season 7, fluff: They're not supposed to share a room while on assignment. But aren't rules meant to be broken anyway?

Day 25: Another Banner Year - Set after "Our Town", before "Anasazi": Melissa shows up at her sister's apartment, demanding a few answers.

Day 26: I Saw Your Face In A Dream - AU where Mulder and Scully meet on karaoke night at a bar.

Day 27: Christmas With You By My Side - Sequel to day 22 "Cookie Theft And Other Crimes" but can be read as a stand-alone: What happens when Mulder wakes up with Scully in his arms?

Day 28: The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey - All Mulder wanted to do was drop off a report. Now he has to deal with a drunk Skinner.

Day 29: Glass Half Full - Sequel to "The Truth Is (Not) Found In A Glass of Whiskey": It's the morning after and Skinner wakes up with a hangover - and remembers way too much from the previous night.

Day 30: Feelings You Can't Hide - A post-ep for "Bad Blood" obviously. A jealous Mulder, an attempt at humor and the hint of angst may be found here.

Day 31: Trick or Treat - IVF arc, angsty fluff: They're supposed to go to the Gunmen's Halloween party, but there's something they need to make sure of first.

[comicaurora]

If you were to actually write a tournament arc (be it in Aurora or a future story) fashioned in your own preferences and ideas, what would it be like?

Oh boy. That's an interesting challenge, because there are so many factors to the Tournament Arc that I just don't like on principle-

Foregone conclusion. If the tournament is centered on a final battle with the Super Scary Big Bad, as they so often are, the heroes are just killing time before they get there, and at least one of the heroes is guaranteed to get to the final round. If the stakes of the tournament are too high, the conclusion is set in stone from the outset. If the heroes are being forced to participate for hostage or supervillain reasons, their victory becomes narratively assured. If the heroes aren't being forced to participate by narrative necessity, then the whole thing becomes an even bigger waste of time.

Formulaic. There's only so much you can mix up a tournament format - environmental hazards, minigames, ring-out rules - and without that, it's just a linear series of fights. Can give the heroes a chance to show off their unique movesets, but narratively they're just ticking up a progress bar before they can get to the end.

Fuckton of characters. Tournament needs meat for the grinder, let's make several dozen characters to throw at the heroes of which maybe five will be memorable enough to recur later. Better make sure they all have interesting gimmicks too - otherwise the formulaic fights will become even more formulaic!

None of these are particularly enticing for me, so in order to construct a tournament arc I actually liked, we'd need to find some way around them:

To avoid a foregone conclusion, the tournament stakes can't be a simple boolean value with "heroes win" and "heroes lose" tied inextricably to things like "heroes save hostage" or "villain destroys entire world." The easiest way to do that is to remove "the heroes" as a single unified participant. It's not a question of whether good will triumph over evil, it's a question of which characters will win and under what circumstances? Part of the reason I liked the tournament arc in MHA more than most is the actual overarching victory was basically irrelevant and our protagonist got eliminated in the quarterfinals, because it was actually all about character development inspired by that fight. So splitting the heroes up, letting them work independently and making their opponents something other than a monolithic antagonistic force would probably help to reduce that issue.

Some tournament arcs also make things more interesting by having a single loss not categorically eliminate a character from the running - the Dark Tournament arc of YYH was pretty good about this, despite being way too long, since it meant protagonists could actually lose fights without being kicked out of the arc entirely, which was a very smart way to keep the tension going, since only a few fights became foregone "either the heroes win this one or they die" situations.

The problem of fights being formulaic can also be addressed here, although I think the more relevant way to fix that is to simply make sure the tournament doesn't drag on for too long. Like, three to five fights is probably the max number we can really focus on. But we can also dodge the formulaic-ness accusations by making sure the fights have more going on than just "which action figure gets mashed harder." This is where most tournament arcs solve things by making a lot of unique gimmick characters with weird powers (so the heroes can't just smack em around the same way every time) and by giving the heroes either handicaps or new abilities/powerups they're still figuring out. This makes the choreography more interesting, and honestly even a really boring plot can be significantly brightened up by extremely cool fight choreography. "They fight and [character] wins" is a single line in the screenplay that can translate into something very spectacular in the execution. But this is, again, something they did in the YYH Dark Tournament arc, and that was still way too much tournament arc, so I think plotline fatigue is a problem that can't entirely be solved by finding new spices to pepper onto the same bracket structure.

You can, of course, also add emotional stakes like "this character's self-worth is tied in with their victory" or "this character is being manipulated by someone else" or "this character is having a personal crisis and handling it poorly" or even something really basic like "the other people in this tournament think we suck, let's prove them wrong."

The "fuckton of characters" problem isn't intrinsically an issue, because it can also be an opportunity to create and introduce a lot of very interesting secondary characters, but it does unfortunately lock them into an extremely artificially constraining plotline. The problem with a tournament arc is it is literally the same subplot template over and over again until the finale inevitably breaks the format. It's an extremely rigid scenario to lock a character-driven story into, and no matter how individually rad parts of the fights are, the overarching structure is repetitive and it limits the characters' ability to shine. Ultimately, no matter how neat or complicated a new character is, they only exist in the arc to be defeated and then get out of the way of the plot. They can have cool stories when they show up later, but in the bounds of the tournament arc they're just more obstacles.

On paper a tournament arc should be a fantastic way to elaborate on a character. The number one recipe for cool character moments is putting that bitch in a Situation and seeing how they handle it, and "a bunch of different fights with different enemies with different powers and different rules" sounds like an ideal Situation Gauntlet. But practically speaking they're all the same! Outside a tournament arc, the stakes of a fight can be anything and the victory condition can be anything. The heroes can bypass the fight, talk down the antagonist, plan a heist, turn the bad guys against each other, organize a prison break, hide and be sneaky - they can find allies, negotiate with political leaders, get captured or rescued, protect someone from pursuit, navigate a hostile and unfamiliar environment, outwit a super-persistent predator, join an underground resistance movement, run off for an angsty solo arc - but within the confines of a tournament, no matter how wacky that tournament might be, everything boils down to a fight with a clear-cut victory and defeat condition. The space of characterization carved out by this format is very, very narrow, so I think legitimately the only tournament arc I would uncritically enjoy is a short one.